Special Containment Procedures: SCP-053 is to be contained in an area no less than 5 m x 5 m (16 ft x 16 ft) and given adequate room to move. Toys, books, games, and other recreational devices are to be amply provided and rotated every three (3) months. Proper bedding, bathroom, and medical facilities are to be maintained at all times. Food should be provided three (3) times daily, and two (2) snacks are allowed if requested.
+
No physical contact is to be made with SCP-053 without full atmosphere-containment suit and eye shield. No eye contact is to be made with SCP-053 for any reason. Any objects given to personnel by SCP-053 may be removed, but must be given to quarantine for examination. Only one (1) member of personnel may be present in the room at any given time and must be secured by a safety line of steel cable. All personnel must be removed from SCP-053's containment chamber within 10 minutes of entering.
+
Any personnel who begin to act erratically, scream, or attempt to grab SCP-053 are to be removed and quarantined. Any personnel attempting to remove their suit are also to be removed and quarantined. No sharp objects or firearms are allowed in SCP-053's containment room.
+
Description: SCP-053 appears to be a small 3-year-old girl. She is capable of basic speech and appears to be slightly above average in mental development. She has a generally pleasant personality and rarely seems upset, becoming agitated only in the presence of groups of people.
+
Any and all humans over the age of three who make eye contact with, physically touch, or remain around SCP-053 for longer than 10 minutes will rapidly become irrational, paranoid, and homicidal. Most, if not all, of these feelings will be directed at SCP-053, and afflicted subjects will attempt to kill SCP-053 after first killing or driving off all humans visible to them. Those attempting to kill SCP-053 will suffer massive heart attacks or seizures and die seconds after doing any physical damage to SCP-053. SCP-053 will regenerate almost instantaneously from any wound, regardless of severity.
+
SCP-053 appears wholly ignorant of these effects, and ignores any and all subjects affected. When questioned about the effect, SCP-053 is incapable of response.
Special Containment Procedures:SCP-1026 is contained within a 8 m x 8 m unfurnished room. Personnel are advised not to enter SCP-1026's containment cell without supervision from an external observer. SCP-1026 is contained within a reinforced cell in Sector ██. Under no circumstances are any personnel to enter the containment area; all observation will be done remotely through security cameras with a broadcast delay of no less than 13.6 seconds. No care is necessary; SCP-1026 has no apparent need for food, water, or sleep.
+
Description: SCP-1026 is an entity that produces a powerful mental effect on any human observer who views it directly. This effect causes observers to become completely convinced that SCP-1026 is someone who they know and trust, typically a family member or close friend. There is currently no known way to convince the observer otherwise; this effect will continue for approximately one (1) hour after they are removed from SCP-1026's presence (subjects that lack any close relationships, such as sociopaths, appear to be unable to see SCP-1026 and refuse to acknowledge its existence). This effect is present even when viewed indirectly, such as through camera feeds, although this effect can be mitigated by the presence of a long enough broadcast delay. Testing has revealed that a minimum of 13.6 seconds is required to neutralize SCP-1026's effect; when viewed in such a manner, or through other media such as photographs, SCP-1026 appears as a blurry, roughly humanoid entity. It appears to "flicker", rapidly changing height, shape, and color. SCP-1026 seems to be capable of speech; however, this speech sounds extremely garbled and distorted to those not under its anomalous effects. Those who are under its effects perceive it as perfectly normal human speech appropriate for the given situation. SCP-1026 has also displayed reasoning and problem-solving abilities on par with those of a human, as well as a fairly docile temperament (see Addendum #1026-1).
+
Addendum #1026-1:
+The following log is an account of a test to determine the exact nature of SCP-1026's abilities, performed just prior to Incident 1026-1. On ██/██/██ D-5582 was told to enter the testing area and perform a series of experiments to gather information about SCP-1026's physiology. Dr. █████ oversaw the test and communicated with D-5582 through a speaker.
[BEGIN LOG]
+*D-5582 enters test chamber carrying video camera*
+D-5582: What the hell? There's someone else in here!
+Dr. █████: Yes there is. Please proceed.
+D-5582: Oh my- Mom? That's my [expletive] mother, you bastards! What the hell is this?!
+Dr. █████: That is not your mother. Please proceed with the test.
+SCP-1026: *garbled speech*
+D-5582: Don't worry, Mom. I'm gonna get us outta here. (to speaker) Let her out now!
+Dr. █████: That is not your mother. Please proceed with the-
+D-5582: [Expletive] the test! I'm not doing anything until you tell me what the hell's going on!
+SCP-1026: *garbled speech*
+D-5582: I don't know, Mom. That's what I'm trying to find out.
+*D-5582 throws a piece of equipment at speaker; misses*
+D-5582: [Expletive] you! [Expletive] you all! *begins crying*
+Dr. █████: *sighs* D-5582, the test is now terminated please leave the chamber.
+*SCP-1026 begins to move towards D-5582*
+D-5582: I'm not leaving my mother!
+Dr. █████: If you do not vacate the test chamber, I will be forced to call security!
+*SCP-1026 is now standing behind D-5582*
+Dr. █████: I'm going to tell you one last time…
+*SCP-1026 appears to grab D-5582's shoulders, spin him around, and "stare" at his face*
+Dr. █████: I-I need a security team down here now!
+*D-5582 begins to violently convulse, and his body begins to "flicker" in a manner similar to that of SCP-1026*
+Dr. █████: Oh Jesus… There's two of them…
+*SCP-1026 and D-5582 move towards test chamber door as security team enters*
+[END LOG]
+
+
After the above log was created, SCP-1026 and D-5582 broke containment. Displaying unusually aggressive behavior, they proceeded to kill █ members of the security team and wound ██ more. The security teams found it very difficult to respond due to SCP-1026's mental effect. Although one of the entities (now assigned the designation of SCP-1026-A) was lured into a temporary holding cell and re-contained, the whereabouts of SCP-1026-B are unknown (see Addendum #1026-2).
+
Note:Shit. These things can reproduce… If there's more of them out there, we could have a serious problem on our hands. -Dr. █████
Addendum #1026-2:
+On ██/██/██, SCP-1026-B was located two miles from Sector ██, where SCP-1026-A is currently being held (how it managed to cover the distance between the original facility and Sector ██ is currently unknown). A security team was dispatched to contain it. [DATA EXPUNGED], resulting in the accidental neutralization of SCP-1026-B. Dr. █████ performed an autopsy of the entity on ██/██/██ (see Document 1026-B).
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1056 is to be kept in a 50x50x50 cm 10-digit combination safe with biometric confirmation when not being used for testing. Only personnel involved in SCP-1056 research and testing may have access to the object. All tests require prior authorization by the Site Director or and by research staff with Level 3 clearance or higher. Tests on living subjects must be conducted in a secure testing facility meeting Level 2 containment guidelines to prevent modified subjects from escaping. All objects altered by SCP-1056 must be kept in Class E ablative storage for 48 hours after transformation. The creation of any object or organism over 200 kg must be approved by the Site Director.
+
Description: SCP-1056 superficially resembles a burnished chrome kitchen timer with numbers ranging from 0.25 to 4.00 and an activation button on the right-hand side. A 1x1.25 meter wire mesh platform is connected to the device by a 3 meter insulated molybdenum carbide wire coated with molybdenum disulfide and an unidentified organometallic complex; the mesh is capable of folding into a 27 x 35 cm square. When the device is set to a number and the side button is pushed, any objects in direct contact with the wire mesh platform will scale up or down in size by a factor corresponding to the number setting.
+
The device was recovered by SCP personnel following reports of unusual behavior among students at ████ High School in ████, PA. School officials began an investigation when teachers reported that a number of students were behaving unusually. Specifically, the students displayed significantly impaired language skills, abnormally poor attention span, long-term memory, and impulse control. Medical examination of the students revealed the presence of numerous vascular and nervous system abnormalities. Foundation personnel recovered the device at the home of one of the students, who had presumably been using it for recreational purposes. The only indicator of the manufacture or distribution of the device is a 4x1 cm imprint on the bottom of the device reading "THE FACTORY”. All electronic components are of generic make.
+
The manner in which objects are resized appears to follow a set of rules that varies depending upon the complexity and function of the object. Simple inanimate objects such as minerals, metals, and plastics scale up or down to precisely (to four significant figures) the scale indicated without any regard to molecular or microscopic scale. For instance, a 5.00 cm stainless steel cube on the 3.00 setting scaled up to a 15.01 cm cube that was indistinguishable in molecular composition from the original cube but that differed on a microstructural level; average grain size on the two cubes was identical, and individual grains on the small cube did not scale up to the large cube.
+
SCP-1056 appears to scale complex devices and biological organisms with some attempt to maintain the functional properties of the object or organism. For instance, the microprocessors of electronic devices are often modified if the altered scale would result in nonfunctional transistor gates, insufficient power, or excessive heat build-up. Devices that have been scaled down often have a reduced number of transistors and may demonstrate floating point errors. While all but the most complex mechanical objects scale relatively well, electronics are often rendered nonfunctional when scaled below 0.50 and above 3.00 of their original scale.
+
Living organisms that have been resized by SCP-1056 retain their basic anatomical structure but often experience significant reorganization of the circulatory, pulmonary, and especially nervous system. Cell size and composition remain identical to that seen in the original organism, but the number of cells increases or decreases proportionally to the change in volume. The only exception to this observation is the nervous system, where the average neuron may increase or decrease up to 25% in linear size (thus, potentially becoming slightly under half or over twice the original volume) with negligible effects on function. Interestingly, SCP-1056 appears to “split the difference” with single-celled organisms, slightly altering the average cell size and also altering the overall cell population.
+
Humans can be resized by SCP-1056 as low as 0.50 and as high as 1.75 with minimal change in function. Shrinking humans often results in increased gyrencephaly (folding) of the cerebral cortex, a reduction in average neuron volume, and a decrease in white matter. This appears to preserve cognitive function down to 0.50. Attempts to scale humans below 0.50 results in a substantial decrease in cognitive function, language comprehension, and short- and long-term memory, indicating that this is the minimal size required for human-like intelligence in a mammalian brain. Humans scaled above 1.25 demonstrate slowed reaction speeds, a reported increase in creativity, and substantial improvements to long-term memory. Scaling beyond 1.50 greatly increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke, aneurism, and renal failure. The scaling of any organism beyond 3.00 is highly discouraged.
+
The mechanism by which SCP-1056 institutes these changes in scale is currently unknown. High-speed video footage of transformations up to 20,000 fps indicate that the transformation is nearly instantaneous, as there is no apparent transition between forms.
+
Interestingly, there are no apparent effects of atmospheric displacement, even when the volume created or destroyed is very large. In a minority (roughly 8%) of cases, an object altered by the device experiences a material instability and begins to undergo atomic decay within 36 hours of alteration. Living organisms and other objects with relatively low metal content have a considerably lower (roughly 3%) chance of undergoing decay. This decay produces significant heat and energy – approximately 150 gigajoules per kilogram - around six orders of magnitude less than typical matter-antimatter decay but sufficiently high to render frequent or high-mass transformations inadvisable.
Experiment SCP-1056-1
+Object: TI-30Xa scientific calculator.
+Setting: 0.75, 1.33
+Result: Functional 0.75 scale calculator. The calculator was successfully returned to a 1.00 scale using the 1.33 setting. Repeated transformations between the two settings does not appear to alter the basic function, appearance, or internal composition of the calculator.
+
Experiment SCP-1056-2
+Object: TI-30Xa scientific calculator.
+Setting: 0.25, 4.00
+Result: Nonfunctional 0.25 scale calculator. The power button of the calculator turns it on, but it is incapable of performing accurate calculations. Most calculations result in either incorrect results or an ERR signal. Return of the calculator to normal scale using the 4.00 setting did not return function to the device. Internal analysis indicates loss of fine details, including transistor number and LCD resolution, in the device.
+
Experiment SCP-1056-3
+Object: 1 kg bar of 22 carat gold bullion.
+Setting: 4.00
+Result: 64 kg bar of 21 carat gold bullion with minor molybdenum impurities.
+
Experiment SCP-1056-4
+Object: 35 one ounce (28.35 gram) “Silver Eagle” bullion coins.
+Setting: 2.00
+Result: 99 bullion coins weighing 80.18 grams apiece. The increase in total mass seems to be evenly split between increasing the average size of the coins and increasing the total number of coins. 40.25 hours after the transformation, the coins began to emit electromagnetic radiation, eventually emitting high levels of heat and ionizing radiation. The mass of silver was stored in the high explosives test chamber at Site 40 until the Silver had completely dispersed 20 hours later. This resulted in extensive damage to the test chamber and the treatment of four researchers for radiation poisoning.
+Researcher’s Note:If we can identify the objects that will do this prior to their decay or reliably induce decay in a class of objects, then items altered by this SCP could be used for power or even weaponized. There does not appear to be any underlying constant to what items are susceptible to or what SCP-1056 process initiates this decay. –Dr. Bimston
+
Experiment SCP-1056-5
+Object: Human subject D-3202, a 52 year-old male, 175 cm tall and weighing 90.3 kg.
+Setting: 2.00
+Result: The subject scaled up approximately twofold to 341 cm tall and weighing 719.6 kg. Mental and physiological functions appear normal. Reaction times are slightly lower than normal and required caloric intake is only 50% of what would be expected, given the nearly eightfold increase in mass. The subject performs extremely well on long-term memory tests, perhaps owing to increased brain mass. Resting heart rate is 45 bpm and systolic pressure is 165 mm Hg (versus 132 before the transformation). Six days after the transformation, the subject experienced vascular irregularities leading to moderate swelling in the distal limbs, followed by intermittent bouts of confusion, spotted vision, blurred vision, and tinnitus. The subject died from respiratory arrest caused by a massive brainstem aneurysm 22 days after the transformation.
+Researcher’s Note:The subject’s symptoms suggest the rapid onset of complications consistent with cases of extreme acromegaly (gigantism). Our projections indicate that most humans would tolerate scales of up to 1.33 or slightly above relatively well. –Dr. Kearns
+
Experiment SCP-1056-6
+Object: Human subject D-3315, a 36 year-old female, 163 cm tall and weighing 55.0 kg.
+Setting: 0.50
+Result: The subject scaled down approximately twofold to 81 cm tall and weighing 7.0 kg. Mental and physiological functions appear normal. There was no significant difference in tests of general intelligence, short- and long-term memory, and spatial reasoning administered before and after the transformation. MRI scans indicate increased folding in the cerebral cortex and an overall decrease in white matter. Resting heart rate is 98 bpm and systolic pressure is 88 mm Hg (versus 115 before the transformation). The subject’s cardiovascular system was slightly simplified in a manner similar to that seen in smaller primates. Twenty-eight days after the transformation, no obvious health or behavioral anomalies were observed and the subject was returned to her original size.
+
Experiment SCP-1056-7
+Object: Human subject D-3315 from experiment SCP-1056-6, a 36-year old female, 81 cm tall and weighing 7.1 kg.
+Setting: 2.00
+Result: The subject scaled back up to her original size of 163 cm tall with a weight of 55.7 kg. Mental and physiological functions appear normal. Cognitive tests indicate a slight but significant improvement in short- and long-term memory and a slight decrease in reaction time. It is hypothesized that these cognitive irregularities could compound or change with repeated use of the device. The cardiovascular system appears modified from the shrunken version to support the larger body but is not identical to the original vascular pattern, indicating that the device “improvises” solutions to physiological problems anew with each transformation rather than reverting to old forms.
+
Experiment SCP-1056-8
+Object: Bacterial culture of species E. coli in LB medium on a 13 cm petri dish.
+Setting: 4.00
+Result: The Petri dish scaled up to 52 cm and the bacterial colonies increased in volume roughly sixty-fourfold while maintaining their original morphology. Microscopic analysis of the colonies reveals that the average size of the bacteria had increased by a factor of 2.2 to 7 microns in length with the remaining increase in mass owing to an increased number of bacterial cells. Samples cultured from these colonies maintain an increased size, generally stabilizing at 6 microns in length after 20 replication cycles. PCR analysis reveals several point mutations in the bacterial genome, such as in the rodZ gene, leading to the bacterium’s generally increased size.
+Researcher’s Note:Genetic tests indicate that SCP-1056 restructures organisms on both a physiological and genetic level. This represents a degree of abstract sophistication inconsistent with the simple digital and mechanical workings observed within the device. –Dr. Kearns
+
Experiment SCP-1056-9
+Object: SCP-1056
+Setting: 2.00
+Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]
+Site Director’s Note:From now on, all experiments on this device must be approved by the senior investigator and then submitted to me. The responsible parties have been officially disciplined and removed from this project. We’re lucky that the effects weren’t much, much worse. What would have happened if the entire universe had doubled in size? -████ █████
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1132 is to be kept in standard living quarters, furnished with a bed and appropriate religious icon. A facial restraint will be supplied to SCP-1132, to be worn at all times when interacting with personnel. This restraint must cover the mouth completely and immobilize the lower jaw. To facilitate personnel safety, entrance to SCP-1132's chamber should be announced by voice or knocking to give the subject time to don the facial restraint, should it not currently be in use. Should the restraint become dislodged for any reason, unarmored personnel are to maintain a minimum distance of one meter from the subject until the restraint has been replaced. Subject is to be fed one freeze-dried mouse, rehydrated, once per day in its cell. Subject is allowed limited escorted sojourns in the facility where it is housed.
+
Efforts to teach SCP-1132 English have been hindered by the subject's illiteracy. Until subject has learned to understand spoken English and/or to write in any language, one member of personnel assigned to SCP-1132 is to be fluent in the eastern Huasteca dialect of modern Nahuatl.
+
Description: SCP-1132 is a female human of indigenous Mexican ethnicity, approximately 25 years of age. The subject's tongue, esophagus, stomach and both intestines have been replaced by a female Bothrops asper (fer-de-lance or nauyaca), leaving only 6cm of the subject's own rectum intact. The connection between the reptile and the subject's digestive system is seamless. Due to its condition, SCP-1132 cannot speak, though it breathes normally. The subject lacks a uterus, though no sign of hysterectomy or other surgery is present. How the uterus was removed has not yet been determined.
+
Approximately 0.6-0.7 meters of snake lie coiled where the subject's stomach should be, giving the snake the ability to lunge out of the subject's mouth. So long as the subject's mouth is closed, the snake will not force its way out. Aside from its anomalous state and length far exceeding what is typical for B. asper, the reptile is otherwise a normal member of its species, possessing a venomous bite and treating SCP-1132 as territory to be defended. Its eating seems to provide sustenance for both itself and SCP-1132, and it must eat at a rate greater than normal for a snake, but less than that of a human.
+
On the rare occasions that SCP-1132 is bitten by the snake, the subject will fall into a coma for a period of time between one hour and one day. Treatment with antivenom can wake the subject prematurely, but is counterindicated as the snake remains active and unrestrained during these periods. The subject describes these periods as being like dreamless sleep and reports no other physical side effects other than pain and swelling from the fang punctures.
+
Addendum: Interviews with the subject have consisted of yes/no questions, and as such, information on the origin of its condition has been difficult to gather.
+
Upon recovery in ██████████, Hidalgo, Mexico, persons familiar with SCP-1132 stated in interviews that they believed the subject had been punished for defiling a sacred relic said to belong to the Aztec goddess Coatlicue, and had been cast out from tribal society for the transgression. Testing of fragments of the object in question reveals no anomalous properties.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1168 is stored within a hermetically sealed containment unit in Sector-19. Personnel assigned to Sector-19 must not fit Profile Alpha-1168 (see Addendum 1) or Profile Beta-1168 (see Addendum 2).
+
Description: SCP-1168 is a copper sculpture identical to the work Statue of Theseus by Georgios Fytalis, with the following deviations:
+
+
Dating indicates it was created at least ██ years after the genuine sculpture.
+
+
+
In the sculpture's left hand are 30 silver coins dating from ca. 30, stamped with the 1977 design of Chuck-E-Cheese game tokens.
+
+
+
Inscribed on the outer side of Theseus' shield is the phrase Ἀπόδοτε οὖν τὰ Καίσαρος Καίσαρι.1
+
+
+
Inscribed on the inner side of Theseus' shield is the phrase SIC DOMITO SAEVVM PROSTRAVIT CORPORE THESEVS from Catullus 64.2 The inscription appears to have been engraved some time after acquisition; it is currently unknown how this engraving occurred.
+
+
SCP-1168 displays no anomalous properties while inactive. The object activates whenever 170 or more meters of yarn is placed into the sculpture's right hand. SCP-1168 closes its right hand around the yarn, the yarn is annihilated by anomalous means, and the object enters a "pending" state.
+
+
+
SCP-1168 in an inactive state, prior to containment.
+
+
+
When SCP-1168 is in a "pending" state it will appear inactive until a human subject fitting Profile Alpha-1168 or Profile Beta-1168 enters SCP-1168's radius of effect.3
+
When a human subject fitting Profile Alpha-1168 enters SCP-1168's area of effect, SCP-1168 will unclench its right hand and move its right arm to point its tertiary finger in the direction of subject for at least 5 seconds4, after which it will return to its "pending" state. Subject is subsequently designated SCP-1168-1.
+
When a human subject fitting Profile Beta-1168 enters SCP-1168's area of effect, SCP-1168 will move its left arm to point two fingers in the direction of subject for at least 10 seconds5, after which it will return to its inactive state. Subject is subsequently designated SCP-1168-2.
+
When SCP-1168-1 and SCP-1168-2 simultaneously exist, SCP-1168 will deactivate, and SCP-1168-1 will instantly materialize a wooden club and be encased in a 3m x 3m x 3m cube of ice. SCP-1168-2 will seek instances of SCP-1168-16 and initiate ritualized interactions (see Addendum 3). After completion, SCP-1168-2 ceases designation.
+
The ice surrounding SCP-1168-1 is impervious to any interference and melts at a rate of 176mL per day. After SCP-1168-1 is free of the ice, subject ceases designation.
Profile Alpha-1168 subjects have public records of any of a list of sex crimes (see document Alpha-1168 for a list of currently known crimes which fulfill the criterion).
Foreword: Log of interaction appears similar to a scene from the video "The Misadventures of Skooks - Part 3/6" from Youtube user Orpheusftw. SCP-1168-2 faces SCP-1168-1 from its left side.
+
<Begin Log>
+
SCP-1168-2: Boy, am I glad he's frozen in there and that we're [sic] out here, and that-
+
SCP-1168-1 materializes a brown stetson on its head and a golden badge in the shape of a six pointed star on its breast.
+
+SCP-1168-2: -he's the sheriff and-
+
+SCP-1168-2 develops a thin layer of frost around its skin.
+
SCP-1168-2: -that we're [sic] frozen out here and that-
+
SCP-1168-2 teleports into SCP-1168-1's block of ice. This does not hinder SCP-1168-2's speech, which originates from its position at the start of the interaction.
+
+SCP-1168-2: -we're [sic] in there and I JUST remembered-
+
SCP-1168-2 teleports into its initial position.
+
SCP-1168-2: -that we're [sic] out here. But what I wanna know is, where's the sex offender?
Foreword: On ██/██/20██, SCP-1168 was on public display in the Syntagma Square in Athens, Greece. It is currently unknown when SCP-1168 replaced the original sculpture. According to eyewitness account, the interview subject approached SCP-1168, after which the object entered an active state and selected SCP-1168-1 and SCP-1168-2 from nearby individuals. Interview subject was taken into custody by █████████ police along with eleven other witnesses.
+
<Begin Log, 03:50 ██/██/20██>
+
Agent O. ███████: I'm just gonna ask you a few questions.
+
Jude Kriyot: Okay.
+
Agent ███████: Your name is Jude Kriyot, correct?
+
Kriyot: Yeah.
+
Agent ███████: You’re a student from [REDACTED]?
+
Kriyot: Was. Not really doing much these days.
+
Agent ███████: Why did you do something to the statue?
+
Kriyot: The statue? I thought this was about the dude freez-
+
Agent ███████: Please answer the question, Mr. Kriyot.
+
Kriyot: Sorry. Uh, I got a letter from an old teacher. He had… stuff. Y'know. He told me to do it or that, uh, stuff would. Y'know. The stuff would be aired. We sent some letters back and forth, I was asking how he'd know, he dodged it by saying he had friends in the area.
+
Agent ███████: Do you still have these letters?
+
Kriyot: I've only got a few left. I took to… burning them. After a bit. But I can get them if-
+
Agent ███████: That won't be necessary, thank you.
+
A raid on Mr. Kriyot's home after interview discovered letters confirming correspondence with said teacher. Ashes were found in the trash can.
+
Agent ███████: Could you describe this man to me?
+
Kriyot: Okay. Old white dude, probably in his, uh… seventies? Grey hair, pretty long. Usually wears a ponytail.
+
Description and letters correspond to PoI ████, former teacher at [REDACTED].
+
Agent ███████: Do you know why he wanted you to place the yarn on the statue?
+
Kriyot: Well, he knew me, and he knew he had me by the balls.
+
Agent ███████: Allow me to rephrase. Do you know his reasoning for wanting the yarn placed on the statue?
+
Kriyot: Yeah. He mentioned that it was a metaphor or something. He was a sucker for bullshi- er, sorry, pompous gestures.
+
Agent ███████: It's all right. Could you explain what you mean by appeal?
+
Kriyot: Well, you know, Theseus killed the Minotaur. Dude's old. Told me his health wasn't the best, thought maybe this would make the old gods happy or something. He, uh, also knew my health wasn't the best, mentioned something about it doing the same for me.
+
Agent ███████: Were you expecting the statue to move?
+
Kriyot: What?
+
Agent ███████: Did you think the statue would move?
+
Kriyot: Oh.
+
Agent ███████: We have witnesses saying the statue pointed at Mr. █████ and Mr. ███████.
+
Interviewee remains silent for one minute.
+
Agent ███████: Are you all right, Mr. Kriyot?
+
Kriyot: No. I'm not all right.
+
Agent ███████: Would you like to take a moment?
+
Kriyot: [Pause] No. I can continue.
+
Agent ███████: Why the silence?
+
Kriyot: I'm sorry. It. Reminded me of some shit.
+
Agent ███████: Some shit?
+
Kriyot: I. Yeah. I, uh. Look man. I burned the letters for a reason. [Pause] The teacher had an art group at the college. He asked me to show up once.
Kriyot: I'm sorry, I. I'm sorry. I didn't, I'm… I knew… her… I… I don't, want to. I… knew her, and she trusted me. And I was, I was young, and I was stupid, so fuckin' stupid, and I wasn't told what was happening until I looked and I should've fucking known, and she's fucking gone, she's gone, and she's fucking GONE because of me. Because I couldn't FUCKING stand it. Because I fucking… Fucking left my skin. Just slunk away into myself like a fucking snake shedding its filthy stupid fucking rotten husk of itself. I. I checked out. Because I was a coward. She's gone. I just. And someone I knew. Someone I knew had made it. And it was fucking praised, they fucking clapped. They clapped like it was just some fucking piece of performance art, and I just sat there, stupid fucking useless me, watching on as it happened. After the show I... They told me I was young. And I just... didn't understand art, or the point they were trying to make. That I… Oh. Oh my god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't see the statue mo- I didn't see this statue move. I'm sorry. Fuck. Fuck…
+
Interviewee remains silent for two minutes.
+
Agent ███████: I'm sorry, Mr. Kriyot.
+
Interviewee declines to respond.
+
Agent ███████: I'm sorry. Thank you for your time.
+
<End Log, 04:19 ██/██/20██>
+
Closing Statement: Due to possible connections between Jude Kriyot and the group of interest AWCY, Mr. Kriyot was subject to further interrogation, which failed to garner any useful intelligence. Mr. Kriyot was administered a prophylactic Class-B amnestic to suppress any knowledge of SCP-1168, SCP-1800, and AWCY. It was unknown whether Mr. Kriyot had knowledge of any further Groups of Interest at the time. Jude Kriyot is now identified as PoI-6870; current evidence suggests Mr. Kriyot was the creator of the object.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1381 is to be held in a 3m x 3m x 2m chamber lined with 6cm of lead sheeting. The chamber is to be hermetically sealed, unable to be opened from the inside and located at a Site that does not also house felid SCPs. All adult felids discovered on-site are to be captured and euthanized. Testing with SCP-1381 is suspended until further notice.
+
Description: SCP-1381 is a 1.5m x .8m x .5m dresser cabinet made of pine, of a make and model identified as discontinued by the S█████ Woodworking Company in 20██. It has two doors set beside three drawers, the knobs or pulls once present on both having been removed. The bottom drawer can be opened only partially, and is empty; neither the other drawers nor the doors can be opened manually. The surface of the wood on the left side of the cabinet is shredded and stained with blood. Testing has found the blood to be feline. Imaging has shown the interior to be empty and otherwise consistent with that of a typical cabinet of its make and model.
+
SCP-1381 has the ability to attract felids with an area of effect approximately 15km in radius. SCP-1381's secondary effect varies depending on the species of felid coming into contact with the object.
+
When Felis catus is introduced to SCP-1381, it will begin rapidly "digging" at the left side of the cabinet, often vocalizing distress. After one to five minutes of digging behavior, the right door of SCP-1381 will swing open and the animal will enter, the door swinging shut immediately behind it. Attempts to interfere with the felid's behavior will be met with violent resistance. Imaging of SCP-1381 up to ten hours after a subject enters the cabinet is impossible, as images will be completely black.
+
Pantherines will rub their cheeks against the corners of SCP-1381, often vocalizing contentment, and display territorial behavior if interfered with. After rubbing has continued for at least five minutes, the right door will swing open and the animal will enter. Despite subjects' size often being greater than that of the opening, no subject has been observed to be unable to enter the cabinet, only to have difficulty in doing so. Imaging again proves ineffective for ten to twenty hours after a subject enters the object.
+
Current testing indicates that it is not possible to prevent the door from either opening or closing with conventional methods.
+
Addendum: A period of time between 10 and 20 hours after a big cat enters SCP-1381, both doors will open and instances of SCP-1381-01 and SCP-1381-02 will emerge.
+
SCP-1381-01 are feline-like beings possessing an outer surface that does not reflect light, luminescent eyes and elongated claws. SCP-1381-01 has been observed moving with greater agility than a standard feline, no doubt in part due to double-jointed limbs.
+
SCP-1381-02 are [REDACTED], luminescent eyes and elongated claws similar to SCP-1381-01, but lacking the dark pigmentation. SCP-1381-02 are significantly larger than [REDACTED], and display increased speed, strength, endurance and [REDACTED]. SCP-1381-02 are capable of directing SCP-1381-01 via [REDACTED].
+
Testing has yet to determine the precise circumstances, rates, or time frame for this emergence. See test logs and Incident Log 1381-01 for further information.
Test 1381-02
+Date: 3/5/████, 12:45
+Test Subject: One Felis catus, male adult, wearing cloth leash and harness, leash held by research assistant. Test to see if animal is retrievable after entering the object.
+Results: Subject exhibited digging behavior as expected. Behavior continued despite damage to subject's paws severe enough to cause bleeding. Door opened after three minutes, ten seconds and subject ran inside. Research assistant unable to retain hold on leash, which disappeared into the object, followed by door swinging closed. Test subject lost.
+
Test 1381-03
+Date: 3/5/████, 13:30
+Test Subject: One Felis catus, male, 3 months old, tethered by cloth leash and harness, leash secured to metal anchor in floor. Test to see reaction of juvenile felines to SCP-1381.
+Results: Test subject showed great interest in climbing research assistant's trouser leg. Showed no concern for object. When placed atop it, subject began vocalizing distress after two minutes, due to difficulty in reaching the floor. Test stopped and subject recovered.
+
Test 1381-04
+Date: 3/6/████, 9:15
+Test Subject: One Felis catus, female adult, tethered by harness and 3m of stainless steel grade 100 chain to a metal anchor driven into the testing chamber floor.
+Results: Test subject entered cabinet and chain went taut after three seconds. Black "fog" observed obscuring cabinet interior. Door swung closed on chain but rebounded. Research assistant tried to hold door open while a prop was fetched, but was thrown clear of SCP-1381 as door swung shut a second time, severing chain at doorjamb. Test subject lost, research assistant treated for minor injuries.
+
Test 1381-05
+Date: 3/6/████, 15:00
+Test Subject: One Felis catus, female adult, tethered by harness and 15m of stainless steel grade 70 chain to a metal anchor driven into the testing chamber floor. Research assistant standing by with 1m long steel spike, 10cm thick, to drop into hole drilled in testing chamber floor within radius of open door.
+Results: Test subject entered cabinet; chain went taut after fifteen seconds, giving research assistant enough time to place spike. Attempts to draw chain out of cabinet ineffective. Intense (~90 dB) squealing noise heard as metal spike bends at 90-degree angle. Researchers report severe aural discomfort. Cabinet door swung shut, severing chain at doorjamb. Test subject lost.
+
Test 1381-06
+Date: 3/7/████, 11:20
+Test Subject: One Felis catus, male adult, without harness. SCP-1381 is wrapped in 10m of stainless steel grade 70 chain, secured with a high-quality security combination lock, with the left-hand panel free for testing. Test to determine whether SCP-1381 can be held shut.
+Results: Feline behavior as expected. SCP-1381 began to shake one and a half minutes after digging behavior started. Shaking increased in violence; right door seen straining against chain. After three minutes, twenty seconds, test subject's paws began bleeding. After three minutes, forty-five seconds, test subject began to dig at chain securing doors. Chain begins to bend. At five minute mark, chain breaks, releasing debris and injuring testing staff. Test subject unharmed and entered cabinet; lost.
+
Test 1381-07
+Date: 3/9/████, 10:00
+Test Subject: One Panthera pardus, female adult. Test to see reactions of larger felines to the object.
+Results: Test subject began vigorously rubbing cheek against left-front corner of cabinet while grunting. Behavior continued for five minutes, forty seconds before door opened and test subject entered. Test subject lost.
+
Test 1381-08
+Date: 3/9/████, 15:00
+Test Subject: One Panthera tigris tigris, male adult. Subject is wider at the shoulders than door opening.
+Results: Results similar to test 1381-07. Door opened after eight minutes, thirty seconds of cheek-rubbing and prusten. Entry hampered by subject's size. After repeated attempts by subject to gain access to inside of object and damage to testing room floor, opening was seen to bend around subject. Test subject lost. See Incident Log 1381-01.
Description: At 1:06, report of "knocking" from inside SCP-1381's containment chamber by security guard A████ S███████. Security detail assembled to gain entry to containment chamber.
+
Upon opening of chamber door at 1:11, security was overwhelmed by emergence of 143 instances of SCP-1381-01 and 2 instances of SCP-1381-02 from testing chamber, resulting in death of entire detail. Physical features of SCP-1381-02 are consistent with fur patterning of test subjects 1381-07 and 1381-08, though SCP-1381-02 are approximately 1.5 times larger than test subjects.
+
At 1:13, containment breach alarms sounded. Security teams dispatched to contain threat. SCP-1381-02 appear to be leading SCP-1381-01 towards entry of Site-██, with the larger instance directing SCP-1381-01 in teams against security forces. Security footage shows standard-issue bullets ineffective against SCP-1381-01, passing into but not out of creatures. SCP-1381-02 seen using SCP-1381-01 as shields against incoming fire.
+
At 1:20, attempt is made by two security team members at request of command to establish communication with SCP-1381-02. Communication established for forty seconds before SCP-1381 attacks, resulting in two casualties.
+
At 1:22, standard flamethrowers are issued to defensive squads and prove effective in destroying SCP-1381-01. By 1:28, all instances of SCP-1381-01 and smaller instance of SCP-1381-02 are eradicated. Larger SCP-1381-02 breaches inner security and is neutralized by automatic turrets and security forces with flamethrowers.
+
Breach incident resulted in total of ██ deaths and ██ casualties. Security noted a mass of ███ Felis catus gathered outside Site-██ during breach incident.
Researcher's Note: We put ten cats in and got over a hundred back out. Either this thing multiplies them or it was saving them up until it got here. If the latter is the case, we must consider that containment risks another major breach event. Requesting upgrade to Euclid. -Dr. ██████
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1391 is to be surrounded by a 3-meter tall barbed-wire fence. A guard force under the guise of local Anishinaabe Tribal Security is to maintain continual internal and external patrols in the vicinity of SCP-1391, and will report any damage for immediate repair and further observation for subsequent attempted breaches. Any civilians approaching the exclusion zone are to be notified they are trespassing on protected, unceded Anishinaabe lands and escorted from the area; civilians displaying resistance or refusal are to be detained, treated with Class-C amnestic, and relocated to the nearest population center.
+
Description: SCP-1391 is a 12-hectare parcel of land in ██████ █████, Canada that borders Algonquin reserve lands under protected status. The land was previously owned by █████ ██████, a local art professor. On the property are (upon last inspection) 137 large, concrete abstract depictions of screaming heads. Engraved on each side of the heads near the bottom are a name and date, later determined to be the designated individual's date of death. Foundation investigation has uniformly determined that names sourced from the stones match those of individuals who have at some point visited the location. Of note is the observation that stones bearing the names of suicide victims are variously disfigured.
+
It has been determined through corroboration of death records and incidental observation that the heads appear at or around the time of death of the individual named on a given statue. The stones have been noted to uniformly appear in locations not under current observation, such as around the perimeter fence, or observation posts. Due to an apparent tendency for stones belonging to individuals with similar causes of death to group together, efforts by Foundation personnel to observe formation of a stone focused on these areas. Despite more intense observation, these efforts were ultimately futile, with new heads in some cases manifesting between frames of CCTV footage, or in one notable case, in the blink of eye, as reported by a dismounted patrol element.
+
Addendum-1391-A - Acquisition: Interviews with the previous owner show that █████ ██████ purchased the property in the summer of ████, with the stated intention of using it as a retreat for his art students. Following his wife's death during renovation of the property, Mr. ██████ discovered a concrete head bearing her name approximately 400 meters from a centrally-located barn. Upon examination of more remote sections of the property, he discovered "hundreds" of the heads. Patrols of the site corroborate his testimony that in most instances the heads were partially or completely destroyed, with most showing signs of weathering and disrepair. Mr. ██████ made the decision to market excursions on the land as an evolving memorial to local personages.
+
The object drew the Foundation's attention following a legal proceeding between Mr. ██████ and a visitor to the property; a disagreement broke out when the visitor discovered his daughter's name on a stone, despite her having visited the property only once, and never having spoken to the owner. During an interview with a local asset, Mr. ██████ admitted he only had built a handful of the heads himself, and offered to mark those from the ones that spontaneously manifested. The Foundation assumed ownership of the land through what was publicly labelled as transfer of property rights to the adjacent Anishinaabe tribe. To maintain deniability, Mr. ██████ was administered a Class-B amnestic, compensated, and returned to society.
+
Addendum-1391-B: As of ████/██/██, no additional personnel are to be assigned to internal security operations involving SCP-1391.
Special Containment Procedures: The building that SCP-1611 is located within has been condemned, using a standard cover story of geothermal gas leaks. Access to SCP-1611 is restricted, with an established containment perimeter. Under no circumstances should any individuals be allowed to enter SCP-1611.
+
Description: SCP-1611 refers to a basement apartment located in Chicago, IL. SCP-1611's interior is believed to exist in non-Euclidian space, as no building records show such a unit on the floorplans — however, based on reports, it is presumed to have existed in its current state since 1989. SCP-1611-1 is a non-corporeal being that resides within SCP-1611. SCP-1611-2 refers to a mutilated corpse presumed to be a former victim of SCP-1611.
+
Whenever a human approaches the stairwell leading to SCP-1611, they will hear vocalizations coming from behind the door, presumably from SCP-1611-1. SCP-1611-1 will produce vocalizations claiming that they need to help the individual, that they 'have healed many like them'; if the individual accepts or approaches the threshold to SCP-1611, the door will crack open. Multiple witnesses have observed decrepit, infected or bleeding limbs retracting into the darkness that fills SCP-1611.
+
If a subject enters SCP-1611, the door will close and cannot be opened for 24 hours. During this time, it is believed that SCP-1611-1 cuts, stitches, operates on, and mutilates the subject to the point of being unrecognizable as a human. Attempts to match victims to viscera has failed, as DNA testing returns multiple individuals per sample.
+
In very rare instances, an individual may survive SCP-1611. Despite stating that they feel healthier than ever, testing has shown that survivors are typically missing major sections of their skeletal structure, have variable amounts of bodily organs, and otherwise do not conform to standard human biology. To date, no surviving subject has died, or contracted illnesses since entering SCP-1611.
+
+
History: SCP-1611 was first discovered in June 1990, when 26 residents of the apartment building had gone missing the previous month. The Foundation began to monitor SCP-1611, which, at the time of discovery, was believed to be an abandoned basement unit.
+
At the initial time of discovery, SCP-1611 was known in the local community as the former location of a community medical clinic, run by a physician who had gone missing the previous year. Local rumors regarding the disappearance of individuals who were near SCP-1611 were prevalent, as were reports of vocalizations of pain, agony, and medical equipment being heart throughout the connecting building's ventilation systems.
+
Additional research revealed the estimated number of missing individuals related to SCP-1611 was in the hundreds, with related disappearances having began in early 1989. SCP-1611 was contained with minimal issue, excluding the occasional perimeter breach, until December 2002, with the events of Perimeter Breach 1611-A. Following this incident, SCP-1611-2 was recovered from the doorstep to SCP-1611. Autopsies and/or biopsies were performed by Foundation staff on SCP-1611-2 — audio recordings and findings are listed below.
+
+
Subject: SCP-1661-2
+Date: 10 December 2002
+
Present: Dr. Bryce Warren, Anomalous Autopsy Division, Dr. Yelena Tryst, Assisting
+
+
<Begin Recording>
+
Dr. Warren: Beginning initial autopsy with a visual inspection. Subject is— Dr. Tryst, is this the right subject?
+
Dr. Tryst: Yes doctor, I handled the transfer myself. What's goi— Oh god.
+
Dr. Warren: Tryst, try and not vomit on the… Well… Hmm. The subject does not appear to resemble a human, but the report said that this was a corpse of a human.
+
Dr. Tryst: It's human?
+
Dr. Warren: Was. I think. Dr. Tryst, would you like to describe what you see as I investigate?
+
Dr. Tryst: Right. Ahem, subject appears to be an amalgam of flesh, connected both via surgical attachments and others being fused directly into the tissue. Sutures are neat, suggesting medical expertise. Subject is missing 95% of their epidermis, and appears to still be bleeding? That can't be right.
+
Dr. Warren: It's blood. And it's warm.
+
Dr. Tryst: It's warm?
+
Dr. Warren: Are we sure this thing is dead?
+
Dr. Tryst: Look at it Dr. Warren. Do you think it's alive?
+
Dr. Warren: …I don't want to deal with the paperwork, let's continue the autopsy. I will make the first incision in the… Tryst, would you say this is the torso?
+
Dr. Tryst: Maybe?
+
Dr. Warren: Good enough. Beginning the first incision in the torso, which has revealed an atypical bone and organ structure throughout.
+
Dr. Tryst: How so?
+
Dr. Warren: Well, I'm counting… 1, 2, 3… at least 7 extra ribs. And they definitely have too many organs, though… they have been properly integrated into the subject's various internal systems. Also, their heart is beating. <Sigh.> Well, autopsy or biopsy, we can determine that later.
+
Dr. Tryst: What do we do now?
+
Dr. Warren: We get to cataloguing.
+
+
+
+
+
SCP-1611-2 Autopsy Catalogue
+
+
+
Body Part
+
Number Found
+
Notes
+
+
+
Arm, Left
+
1
+
N/A
+
+
+
Hand, Left
+
10
+
All left hands are attached to the left arm, but appear to be fully integrated into the nervous system.
+
+
+
Heart
+
4
+
Hearts are distributed throughout the body of SCP-1611-2, and were still pumping at the time of the autopsy/biopsy. One is infected with an unknown illness.
+
+
+
Stomach
+
2
+
One stomach was attached externally; the other was normal, but with no matter found inside.
+
+
+
Brain
+
1
+
Brain shows symptoms of illness, matching those found in select organs throughout the body.
+
+
+
Eyes
+
12
+
All eyeballs were fully surrounded by a thick layer of flesh.
+
+
+
Lungs
+
0
+
Lungs appear to have been replaced with a set of diaphragms, surgical-grade titanium frames and muscle tissue; it is unclear how the subject respired.
+
+
+
Arm, Right
+
3
+
All three right arms are connected in sequence, tripling the length of the limb. Each prior hand is stitched to the next arm.
+
+
+
Excess Tissue
+
~23kg
+
Excess tissue was found throughout the body, internally and externally, grafted, or simply placed into the chest cavity.
+
+
+
Bones, Human
+
412
+
Additional bones appear to be placed haphazardly throughout SCP-1611, serving little to no purpose. Of note, 206 of the bones appear to show evidence of an unknown illness.
+
+
+
Autopsy Summary
+
+
+
In summary, SCP-1611-2 is a crude simulacrum of the human form, despite being assembled by an apparently deft and practiced hand. The sutures, anatomy and recovered medical instruments suggest a connection between SCP-1611 and a medical professional, in some capacity. While SCP-1611-2 may have originally been humanoid, due to the significant number of additional limbs, flesh and organs, many not serving their original purposes, there is no way to identify the base individual through visuals.
+
+DNA testing on samples recovered from the body match ~47 distinct profiles, a number of which match individuals listed on missing persons databases. Efforts to identify the subject were unsuccessful through matching dental records or other genetic sequencing, due to the sheer number of pieces from other individuals that were integrated into SCP-1611-2.
+
+Additionally, the autopsy revealed that, despite appearances, portions of the body were still capable of biological operation, as if the subject was still alive. As a result of this effect, samples were found throughout select organs, bones and flesh within the body, all infected with the same unrecognized illness. It is believed that by identifying this illness, we will be able to match it with the original subject, pre-transformation. Analysis will begin shortly, after extraction via biopsy.
+
+
+
+
Biopsy Results
+
+
Biopsy samples taken from select organs and bones throughout the body were infected with an unknown disease. After analyzing the presumed symptoms and spread throughout the body, it was determined to be an uncatalogued type of anomalous cognitotransmitters, termed COG-1611-V.
+
A cognitotransmitter causes a type of anomalous proteinopathy, where a protein is folded based on a concept that exists outside of the Noosphere, from a place often referred to as 'The Margins'. These cognitotransmitters cause the body to produce additional cognitoprions, and send signals that the brain is unable to interpret due to being a foreign concept, causing the symptoms.
+
COG-1611-V did not match any other samples on record in Foundation databases, but displayed symptoms similar to standard neurological proteinopathies, as well as causing phantom pain, chronic migraines and sensory issues. It appears to persist beyond tissue death, and does not require biological activity to reproduce. Genomic and proteomic analyses were inconclusive, however, these tests were integral in identifying the subject. By comparing test results to those of local hospitals, clinics and labs in the area, one exact match to COG-1611-V was found.
+
Based on this match, SCP-1611-2 has been posthumously identified as Maggie Cook, 21, a college student living in proximity to SCP-1611. The time of death cannot be determined at this time.
+
+
+
Addendum 1: SCP-1611-2 Research
+
Following the identification of SCP-1611-2 as Maggie Cook, research began to identify the date of their initial disappearance, and to determine what caused a shift in SCP-1611's behavior regarding how long it remained closed. SCP-1611-2 was last seen alive by security cameras, leaving her apartment on November 7th, 2002. Security footage from the perimeter of SCP-1611 captured her approaching the door leading to SCP-1611, while appearing to panic and reacting to auditory stimuli. SCP-1611-2 attempted to bang on the door, but following a 5 second pause of silence, attempted to twist the door handle, which was unlocked.
+
Following this event, SCP-1611-2 crossed the threshold into SCP-1611 and out of view of security cameras. Unlike previous instances, the door did not open after 24 hours; it would remain inaccessible until December 7th, 2002. After investigating differences between SCP-1611-2 and other victims of SCP-1611, the only notable difference was the presence of COG-1611-V.1
+
Following the identification of SCP-1611-2, their surviving family was contacted and brought to the temporary mortuary to verify identification of SCP-1611-2. Due to the advanced fusion of flesh, and lack of identifying features, SCP-1611-2's mother was not asked to identify the remains, but was met with to gather more information.
Mrs. Cook: The person on the phone said that you knew where my daughter was. What happened to her? Is she okay?
+
Dr. Warren: I'm afraid— can I ask you a question? How long has Maggie been sick for?
+
Mrs. Cook: Where is my daughter?
+
Dr. Warren pauses.
+
Dr. Warren: I'd be happy to help, if you could just give me some more informatio—
+
Mrs. Cook: You want information? Good luck. <Mrs. Cook reaches into her back, pulling out an overstuffed accordion folder.> This is every medical file she's had, from every doctor who has tried to help before.
+
Dr. Warren: Oh, she's been seen by doctors for a while?
+
Mrs. Cook: Since birth. Will this… does this help?
+
Dr. Warren: I think it should, yes. Thank you Mrs. Cook.
+
Awkward silence.
+
Mrs. Cook: Can… what's going on, doctor? When can I see her?
+
Dr. Warren: I… I don't think you'll want to see her. Not like this.
+
Mrs. Cook: Oh my god. Is she… is she dead?
+
Dr. Warren frowns, refusing to meet her gaze.
+
Dr. Warren: Not… not yet. Thank you for the files, I'll let you know when I have more answers. I'm sorry Mrs. Cook, and… I hope you have a Merry Christmas.
+
<End Recording>
+
+
Following the above interview, SCP-1611-2's family was amnesticized, as research began into the medical records detailing SCP-1611-2's history, and the notes from their primary physician, Dr. Eustice Graye.
+
+
Addendum 2: SCP-1611-2 Medical History
+
Foundation research focused on analyzing SCP-1611-2's medical history revealed significant correlations between their personal history, and SCP-1611. The following are excerpts from SCP-1611-2's lengthy medical file:
+
+
Neo-natal Report — October 3rd, 1981
+
Subject: Megan Cook
+Age: 12 Hours Old
+Physician: Dr. Graye
+
+
Subject's mother gave birth with minimal complications, and is in a stable condition. Subject is in good health, was born at a healthy weight, and was otherwise an un-notable birth. The sole exception is the fact that the newborn has not smiled yet; in fact, they appeared to be in pain or discomfort. Visual inspection revealed nothing, and initial blood tests came back clean.
+
My conclusion? Moody baby.
+
+
— Dr. Graye
+
+
+
+
Blood Panel
+
Subject: Megan Cook
+Age: 2 Years Old
+Physician: Dr. Graye
+
+
Subject was admitted based on concerns from the parents regarding Megan 'screaming too much' — subject has been mentally progressing normally otherwise. Parents claim that she woke up in the middle of the night yelling about 'too many hands', but would not stop screaming. Bloodwork was done at the request of the guardians, and found nothing.
+
Based on the above, I believe the subject experienced a vivid nightmare. Subject was prescribed sleeping aides, and told to come back if symptoms persisted.
+
+
— Dr. Graye
+
+
+
+
Yearly Physical
+
Subject: Megan Cook
+Age: 6 Years Old
+Physician: Dr. Graye
+
+
Subject seems to be in overall good physical health, but complains of weakness, exhaustion and an inability to sleep. Subject appeared to be uncomfortable, and kept glancing at the mother before each answer.
+
I asked her mother to leave the room, to continue to physical; at this point, the subject admitted to me that she was worried she was sick. She complained about 'feeling extra people', and that she was 'missing parts of her body'. When I pressed, asking if this was related to her nightmares, subject responded in the negative; she claims that said phantom pains persist throughout the day.
+
At first, my initial diagnosis was this resulted from the lack of sleep, however, to comfort the subject, I agreed to perform a routine reflex test. Results were normal, however, the subject experienced rapid onset migraine symptoms.
+
Her guardians were told to bring her in next week, so that further testing could be performed to identify the root cause of her symptoms.
+
+
— Dr. Graye
+
+
+
Following the above report, Dr. Graye made a note within their personal journal — this was later recovered by Foundation staff, and is presented alongside for context:
+
+
Megan came back today. The headaches were still hurting her, and she wouldn't stop talking about how many things she could feel, and how many hands she had. I didn't believe her, who would? It seemed like a kid with an overactive imagination, maybe something she wasn't ready to admit yet.
+
But I don't know, and I don't know how to help her. I have to keep trying.
+
+
Under the care of Dr. Graye, SCP-1611-2 was subjected to a battery of mental assessments, virologic testing, genetic sequencing, and other medical assessments, in an attempt to diagnose and treat the presented symptoms. There were no notable results.
+
The following correspondence was sent by Dr. Graye to a colleague on December 28th, 1988. This letter is the final record of Dr. Graye existing.
+
+
My Dear Colleague Winslow,
+
I am writing this letter regarding our previous discussions of a patient under my care, one Megan Cook. If you recall, I have been treating her for many years for chronic pain, sensory issues, and a persistent belief that she has many phantom limbs, and not only can she feel them, but she is able to interact with those around her through said imaginary limbs.
+
I am afraid that this is no longer explainable by traditional medicine. I have been researching in medical libraries, hospitals and archives for records of similar cases, and believe that I have discovered a pattern: while there have been a few instances of subjects presenting with similar symptoms, there has been a significant uptick in local cases regarding individuals being committed for self-amputation.
+
Reading through their admittance records, what I feared came to light. Each subject had performed the amputations, in the belief that their limbs and organs were not their own. They expressed that they could feel somebody else, another individual who was the rightful owner. That somebody else was in control.
+
I cannot help Megan as I am now; there is simply not enough research on the subject, and the hospital has revoked my grant for researching her condition further. There is only so far that research can get you in medicine, you taught me that Winslow. I believe that it is time I began a more practical investigation.
+
I will be sending my resignation to the hospital, and opening a private practice within which I may continue my research. I know that with time, I will understand exactly how to help Megan, and anybody else like her.
+
If their missing limbs are the problem, perhaps I can provide an alternative solution.
+
+
Your Friend,
+Dr. Eustice Graye
+
+
+
Additional research is ongoing into the life of Dr. Eustice Graye, who disappeared a few days after sending said letter, at the start of 1989. At the time of their disappearance, Dr. Graye's address was listed as SCP-1611.
+
No further research into SCP-1611-2 is to be conducted; despite no attempts to preserve the body parts, all removed and separated pieces of flesh continue to survive and exhibit biological functions. As such, the collective vocal chords of SCP-1611-2 have been moved to a sound-proof container on site.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1687 is kept in a locked violin case in secure storage at Site 19. All non-D-class personnel that interact with it are required to be tone-deaf. D-class assigned to experiments with SCP-1687 should have at least a minimal proficiency at playing stringed classical instruments.
+
Any musical instrument used in conjunction with SCP-1687 or otherwise discovered to be affected by it is to be quarantined and destroyed, with the exception of a single example of each type of musical instrument, kept in long-term storage for studies on the longevity of SCP-1687's effects.
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Description: SCP-1687 is a violin of uncertain provenance and age. At baseline, it appears to be in a state of great disrepair, with chipped F-holes, a partial crack through the neck, and fraying sheepgut strings. When played while in this state, the quality of music is extremely poor, in keeping with the apparent condition of the instrument.
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However, when played simultaneously with other musical instrument(s), it repairs itself at a rate directly correlated to the number of other instruments and the duration and quality of the musical performance. The quality of the music it produces improves simultaneously, matching the apparent state of repair of SCP-1687. When used as part of a full operatic orchestra, SCP-1687 was able to improve from baseline to world-class1 within 17 minutes of cumulative playing. Once SCP-1687 is no longer being played, it begins to rapidly return to its baseline state, taking a maximum of 370 hours to decay from a fully repaired state.
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Any musical instrument that is played with or in the immediate presence2 of SCP-1687 loses its "musicality". Any attempts to play instruments so affected will produce sounds that are sonographically identical to music as determined by computer analysis, but that no living organism will recognize as music. Tests using human beings, apes, canines, cetaceans, bees and plants all result in no discernable difference between the sound produced by affected instruments and sound produced by a white noise generator. This effect appears localized to the instruments themselves, as test subjects confirm that they remain able to hear and enjoy music produced by other musical instruments.
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SCP-1687 was recovered, along with numerous affected instruments, from the ██████ Symphony Orchestra following the publication of the following review (excerpted):
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The Death of Figaro
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August 23, ████
+Richard St. James
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Last night, the ██████ Symphony Orchestra was the scene of what can only be called musical murder.
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The debut performance of what has been dubbed The Lost Stradivarius was marred, nay, destroyed by what was apparently a concerted effort by all the performers to deliver the most banal, mindless backdrop of a-musical sound that this reviewer has ever heard. […] What should have been a hushed, reverential silence among the audience following the violin solo instead became a frightful scene of total loss of decorum as the remainder of the orchestra proceeded to mock all conventions of musical propriety and professionalism by "playing" (and this reviewer uses that word lightly) a faltering, confusing mess of pure unmusical sound. In shock from this abomination, individuals ranging from stately matrons to young couples began to demand the performers stop their travesty, and then rushed to demand a refund from the theater. Needless to say, this reviewer would have joined them, had he not been struck speechless by the total lack of professionalism.
+
[…]
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It is with great disappointment that this reviewer must declare the season's opening to be a disaster hard to overcome. The only moment of purity came from the Lost Stradivarius itself, as it was played as beautifully as its name suggests. If the Orchestra is to recover their reputation after this monumentally awful opening, they will have to make every performance an apology to their abused audience. This reviewer, for one, hopes that the Orchestra manages to find their way back from the precipice of irrelevancy that this performance has brought them to.
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Interviews with the violin soloist, ███ ███████, revealed that SCP-1687 was gifted to him by an anonymous benefactor, with a note instructing him to "play it well and keep the life of music flowing."3 Mr. ███████ further claimed that SCP-1687 was in pristine condition prior to the performance which brought it to the Foundation's attention.
Due to the fire at the recovery site, only one sheet of schematics remains legible.
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+
Item #: SCP-1695
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Object Class: Safe
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Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1695-1 is to be kept in a Type 31A storage vault within the eastern wing of Site-18. Any testing performed on SCP-1695-1 should be supervised by research personnel specializing in items created by GoI-192. Evidence discovered at SCP-1695-1's recovery site is to be kept in the western wing of Site-18 and is available for examination by any personnel with a clearance level of 2 or higher.
+
Description: SCP-1695-1 is a large mechanism constructed from a black metal alloy of unknown composition.1 The material displays an anomalous level of durability; consequently, all attempts to dismantle the device have proven unsuccessful. SCP-1695-1 is irregularly shaped, possessing a 2m by 2.6m rectangular base which arcs upwards in a semicircle that stands roughly 1.5m at its tallest point. At the rear of the device is a control panel with a number of buttons and switches that serve to operate the device; at the front end is a circular array of flat metal plates.
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When SCP-1695-1 is activated via its control panel, the circular formation at the device's front end will dilate in a manner similar to an aperture. Viewing the interior of the device from the opening reveals an enclosed chamber walled with the same metal as the device's exterior. The interior wall of the chamber bears a number of irregularly-shaped indentations. It is believed that when the front end of the device is opened, the instruments responsible for SCP-1695-1's primary anomalous effects are retracted into the inaccessible portion of the device's interior.
+
When a human subject enters SCP-1695-1's exposed front chamber feet first, the circular array of plates will automatically close around the subject's torso. The device will only close far enough as necessary for restricting the subject's range of movement and preventing escape; subjects typically bear only minimal scarring from lacerations caused by the device's closing. Once trapped by SCP-1695-1, the subject will undergo a transformation into SCP-1695-2.
+
The following is a list of stages in the conversion process. As it is unknown what transformations–if any–the enclosed lower half of a subject undergoes, only the alterations to subjects' visible upper bodies will be listed.
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+
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Person of interest 1695-B, alleged creator of SCP-1695-1.
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The subject's distal phalanges recede into the lower portions of the digits, followed by the intermediate and proximal phalanges,2 leaving the subject without fingers.
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What remains of the subject's hands recedes into the arms, which similarly recede into the subject's torso.
+
Hair, ears, and nose recede into the subject's face, followed by any other defining facial features. The exception to this is the subject's eyes, which remain fully functional and normally sized. Subjects remain capable of making vocalizations; however, their capacity for speech is severely impeded by the lack of a mouth and facial muscles needed to properly articulate.
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The subject's torso swells and elongates. Muscle and bone definition is lost at this phase as the body takes on a more rounded shape.
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The neck recedes into what is left of the subject's shoulders. At this stage, the subject resembles a fleshy cylinder with two eyes on a rounded end.
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The subject expands in size until the cylindrical torso is roughly 1m in diameter and 3m in length. The metallic array will slowly dilate to compensate for the subject's increasing circumference.
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Flat plates of keratin3 begin to protrude from the side of the subject's body that is angled to the sky. The protrusions are always evenly spaced and set at an angle perpendicular to the length of the cylinder body.
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The subject's skin secretes an adhesive chemical compound of anomalous composition. Once an organism or object has been in contact with the compound for longer than one minute, it cannot be detached until a counter-adhesive has been secreted.
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SCP-1695-1 will play a prerecorded message (see Recording Log 1) followed by a selection of popular circus compositions.
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Once this process is complete, SCP-1695-1's control panel can be used to elongate SCP-1695-2 further. Testing has shown no limitation to the distance SCP-1695-2 can extend. The device also allows for control over SCP-1695-2's direction: operators can cause SCP-1695-2 to extend at any angle, including upwards at a customizable incline without the need for support. If SCP-1695-2 is about to collide with a solid surface, it will automatically compensate its trajectory to either avoid the obstacle or travel along the obstacle's surface. The speed at which SCP-1695-2 elongates is adjustable with a max speed of 30 km/h.
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This phenomenon will continue until the individual operating SCP-1695-1 chooses to reverse the process, causing SCP-1695-2 to recede in the same pattern of movements as it had elongated. Once this has occurred, SCP-1695-2 will excrete a counter-adhesive, releasing any physical matter attached to it. SCP-1695-1 will temporary cease playing music at this point and play a prerecorded message (see Recording Log 2).
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When SCP-1695-1 is deactivated, SCP-1695-2 will be returned to its original humanoid state and released. Subjects who have undergone conversion into SCP-1695-2 will bear significant scarring on the lower body and varying levels of psychological trauma.
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Recording Log:
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Recording Log 1
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Hey there, folks! Hop on Meaty the Meatworm's back and get ready for the ride of your life! Please keep your backs firmly against Meaty's nail plates to prevent injury. For your safety, Meaty's sweat will stick you in place so you don't fall off! Don't worry, Moms – it's stain-free! Be sure to hold on to your hats, glasses, and any other loose items, and enjoy the ride!
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Recording Log 2
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Thank you for riding Herman Fuller's Meatworm Coaster! Be sure to stop by the No Mouth And Ice Must Cream sweet parlor and pick up a handmade Meatworm figurine on your way out! Have a disquieting day!
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Addendum:
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SCP-1695-1 was recovered from the Estevan Fairgrounds in Saskatchewan on 05/19/████ after Foundation intelligence received reports of GoI-233 (Herman Fuller's Circus Of The Disquieting) activity in the area. At the time of recovery, much of the fairground was occupied by carnival structures that were either ablaze or severely fire damaged, presumably due to attempts to destroy evidence. Two individuals were discovered on the scene and apprehended: Person of Interest 1695-A, who was then serving as an instance of SCP-1695-2, and Person of Interest 1695-B, an elderly Russian male who claimed to be the inventor of SCP-1695-1.
Interviewed: PoI-1695-A, found converted into SCP-1695-2. Identity unknown.
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Interviewer: Agent Poltake
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Foreword: The following is the recorded exchange that took place between PoI-1695-A and Agent Poltake immediately after PoI-1695-A was released from SCP-1695-1. Portions of PoI-1695-A's speech were unable to be recorded properly due to the quiet and hoarse quality of the subject's voice.
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<Begin log>
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PoI-1695-A: Please help (inaudible) the ground.
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Agent Poltake: Can you walk?
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PoI-1695-A: Don't put me back. Don't put me back.
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Agent Poltake: We're not going to put you back. Do you need help standing up?
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PoI-1695-A: Don't put me … (Pause.) Tell the Ringmaster I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I don't remember.
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Agent Poltake: You don't remember what?
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PoI-1695-A: The ground. I don't remember. I'm so sorry. Please don't.
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Agent Poltake: Hey, help me get this guy to his feet.
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Agent Farbold approaches PoI-1695-A, who recoils.
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PoI-1695-A: No! Please, I'll give everything back. Just let me go. Don't put me…
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Agent Farbold: Hey, hey. We're not going to hurt you. Just put your feet–yeah, like that.
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Agent Poltake: I don't think he's strong enough to stand up on his own.
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PoI-1695-A: I'm sorry. I can't. I don't remember.
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Agent Poltake: How long were you in that thing?
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PoI-1695-A: I'm sorry. I don't remember. The (inaudible) never heard me screaming. Tell the Ringmaster I'm sorry for stealing. I thought it was just a circus.
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<End Log>
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Afterword: PoI-1695-A lost consciousness shortly after entering Foundation custody and died of heart failure before a more comprehensive interview could be conducted.
Interviewed: Leljud Kozlovsky, PoI-1695-B, alleged creator of SCP-1695-1.
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Interviewer: Dr. Khansa
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Foreword: This interview was conducted on 05/20/████, the day after PoI-1695-B was taken into custody.
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<Begin log>
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Dr. Khansa: You claimed yesterday during your arrest that you created SCP-1695-1. Do you stand by this statement?
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PoI-1695-B: It is my work. My crowning achievement.
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Dr. Khansa: What led you to create the machine?
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PoI-1695-B: The circus needed an exciting new attraction to draw in the younger crowd, but roller coasters are too large and heavy to transport. So I say to the upside-down man, "I will make a ride we can take anywhere." Is still heavy, but we can move it.
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Dr. Khansa: Yet you were left behind with it in Estevan.
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PoI-1695-B: The upside-down man is very impatient. With him it is hurry, hurry, hurry, all the time. "SCP is coming! SCP is coming!" Pah. He said we did not have time to load up the machine, so he sent some men to destroy it. I stayed to stop them and the circus left me.
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Dr. Khansa: By "the circus", are you referring to the Circus Of The Disquieting or the Meat Circus? I understand you have ties to both groups.
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PoI-1695-B: Herman Fuller's Circus is a circus. Meat Circus is not a real circus.
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Dr. Khansa: "Not a real circus"?
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PoI-1695-B: In Moscow, there were men who called themselves the Meat Circus. I was among them. We were scientists and inventors. We created beautiful works of art.
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Dr. Khansa: My colleagues tell me that the Meat Circus specializes in anomalously altering human physiology. Is this what you consider to be your "art"?
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PoI-1695-B: The medium of the sculptor is clay. The medium of the painter is oil. The medium of the scientist is flesh. Sometimes we would sell our art, sometimes we would set it free. But that was many, many years ago. The upside-down man came to me and offered me a place at the Herman Fuller Circus, a circus with the … the elephants and the clowns. A real circus. I continued to be an artist, but I had a sponsor. A patron to exhibit my work.
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Dr. Khansa: Please explain the process by which SCP-1695-1 functions.
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PoI-1695-B: No.
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Dr. Khansa: Mr. Kozlovsky, as we discussed earlier, things will be much easier for you in the long run if you cooperate with us now.
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PoI-1695-B: I know. I know your kind. I've seen it before. I am an ass to you. You hold out a carrot in front of my nose and a whip behind my back. I know your game and I will not play.
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Dr. Khansa: If you are aware that you will be rewarded for cooperation and you understand the consequences if you don't, why not make things easier for yourself?
Note: According to surviving witnesses present in the interviewing chamber at the time, Mr. Kozlovsky extended his tongue after making his final outburst. This was initially interpreted as a gesture of animosity; however, shortly afterward Mr. Kozlovsky removed his shoes and socks without the use of his hands (as they were bound behind his back), pinched his tongue between the toes of his left foot, and extracted his tongue from his mouth. Several seconds afterward, Mr. Kozlovsky's abdomen erupted as a result of an apparent explosive decompression. The blast destroyed the reinforced glass divider in the interview chamber, killing Dr. Khansa instantly and injuring several junior researchers who had been observing the interview. Samples of confetti were recovered from the blast site and inside Mr. Kozlovsky's remains.
Special Containment Procedures: Captured instances of SCP-1729 are to be kept in a warehouse located within Sector-25. Outside of testing, every instance of SCP-1729 is to be restrained using standard wheel clamps, and switch 1A set to 'off'. Any newly captured SCP-1729 instance is to be fitted with manual operation switches on leads 1-7, and an additional battery-operated relay circuit on lead 1. (See Document-1729-B for complete diagram with critical locations, and appropriate schematics with part numbers specified)
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If testing on SCP-1729 requires the removal of restraints, such a test must be carried out on designated enclosed test track marked 5-TTR on the Sector-25 layout plan. During such testing, only D-class personnel are to be allowed to approach or initiate contact with SCP-1729 - for this purpose, a group of 6 D-Class, designated DR-1729, is to be used for such testing, as per Document P28-DR-1982 relating to disposable personnel indefinitely assigned to a single research task. At least 3 members of DR-1729 are required to have a background in automotive repair. At least 1 member of DR-1729 is required to have a background in mechanical engineering.
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Locations found to serve as deposition sites for SCP-1729 are to be transferred into possession of an appropriate Foundation cover organisation, and monitored for activity. Any inbound SCP-1729 instances are to be captured, and their payload seized; civillians found within the perimeter of a deposition site are to be interrogated, and unless required otherwise, treated with Class-A amnestics and released.
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Description: SCP-1729 refers to a presently indeterminate number of apparently autonomous motor vehicles of differing model and manufacturer, their count currently estimated at ██. Each instance of SCP-1729 is painted black, and marked with a "TAXI" panel, and the logo and telephone number of a taxi service1. License plates found on SCP-1729 instances tend to duplicate those of existing vehicles.
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The interior of SCP-1729 instances differs significantly from that of an equivalent vehicle. The engine does not connect to the gas tank. Instead, the flywheel [REDACTED] while the battery seems to provide energy for SCP-1729's functioning - cutting the wire lead marked 1 on SCP-1729 scheme effectively disables the instance in question. A number of further wire leads extend to various sections inside - disabling any of these seems to disable specific mechanisms inside SCP-1729. The gas tank itself contains between 20-60 litres of saline solution and connects to a nozzle located within the trunk area, also housing a number of servo and hydraulic controlled manipulation mechanisms,and mobile high-voltage electrodes. Furthermore, the trunk wall and lower chassis houses a ███W laser cutter and several devices whose purpose and construction is currently subject to research.
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While in its inactive state, SCP-1729 is stationary, and does not significantly differ in appearance from a regular vehicle. SCP-1729 tend to activate at random times between 10pm and 8am. Rarely, operation outside these times has been observed.
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Upon activation, instances of SCP-1729 proceed to move along surface streets in a random pattern; however, they are significantly more likely to pick directions leading to areas with higher population density2. SCP-1729 will comply to traffic law, asides from occasional erratic behaviour during right turns, usually occurring towards the end of a cycle. During the active period, humans looking at SCP-1729 perceive a humanoid figure, designated SCP-1729-1, sitting in the driver's seat - optic and thermal instrumentation shows the seat to be empty, furthermore a strong [DATA EXPUNGED] further pointing to being illusory.
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If an active instance of SCP-1729 is approached, or gestured to, SCP-1729 will stop, and its doors unlock. SCP-1729-1 will attempt to mimic a taxi driver; those witnessing such an event report frequent defects such as vocalisations not synchronised with facial mimics, slurred speech, or erratic movements. If boarded, SCP-1729-1 will proceed towards the intended destination until attaining a velocity of approximately 40km/h. Subsequently, the back seat of SCP-1729 will shift, a set of manipulators will restrain the passenger, paralyse them by means of an electric discharge and a series of rollers will proceed to relocate them into the trunk, where [REDACTED]3 and subsequently section the body, storing the segments in saline-filled PE bags. The sectioning is consistent, but highly idiosyncratic - bags often contain multiple parts, such as heart and lungs, while the intestinal tract is usually split into cca 1.5m segments, each packed separately, and on two occasions, some packages contained approximately 500g of cca 35mm vein and artery sections.
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Upon completion. SCP-1729 will proceed towards a fixed location4 and deposit all collected material, usually packed within 2-5 black PE sacks. SCP-1729 will proceed to evacuate the premises, and deactivate upon encountering an available parking space. The mean period of re-activation appears to be 16+/-3 days.
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Addendum 1729-1:
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Incident 1729-1:
+On ██/██/20██, █████ Metropolitan Police have been asked to investigate an unusual smell spreading from one of the vehicles in a parking lot located near ███████ apartment complex. When approached by the summoned patrol, the vehicle activated and attempted to ride away, injuring one of the officers in the process - the second responded with gunfire, causing it to crash due to tire damage. Subsequent examination has shown the trunk to be full of human remains in advanced state of decay. The patrolmen were administered amnestics by a Foundation member posing as a MI5 liaison, and the remains of the vehicle were taken for testing - it was found that the PE foil stockpile within the SCP-1729 instance has been depleted, and due to the inability of ejector to process unpacked tissues, this resulted in their accumulation within the device.
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Addendum 1729-3:
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CONTAINMENT PROCEDURE UPDATE
+Since initial containment, the proportion of encountered SCP-1729 instances in degraded state has been on a steady rise, with ██ cases similar to Incident 1729-1, and further █ cases of breakdown, making up 79% of all SCP-1729 encounters. Furthermore, there has been a steady decrease in amount of reported incidents consistent with SCP-1729 mode of operation, and the monitoring of former delivery sites has resulted in no additional captures. Requesting removal of paragraph 3 from containment procedures to reflect this, especially given current increased staff requirements with respect to [REDACTED]. - Researcher Pauling
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-184 is not to be contained in any structure. SCP-184 is to be attached to a high-power electromagnet at all times. Should the electromagnet fail, agents are to report to SCP-184's containment area and prevent access to all unauthorized personnel until the electromagnet is restored to power. The containment area for SCP-184 is currently configured to resemble a park with SCP-184 and its containment magnet disguised as statuary. Any and all visitors are to be monitored.
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Any structures affected by SCP-184 are to be demolished after review by [DATA EXPUNGED]. Final demolition approval or inclusion into SCP will also be determined by this body. No investigation is to be done into affected structures without approval and a rescue team on standby.
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Description: SCP-184 is a small, smooth metallic object, 10 cm (4 in) tall and 10 cm (4 in) wide, in the shape of a dodecahedron. Each face of the figure has a circular hole in the center, and a small sphere is attached to each vertex. SCP-184 is made of an unknown, but highly magnetic, alloy about as hard as brass.
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When inside an enclosed structure, SCP-184 expands the structure's inner dimensions without altering its outer dimensions. SCP-184 will increase the inner dimensions of any enclosed structure by several hundred meters each day, beginning one hour after entry into the structure. Initially, SCP-184 only extends the walls out, causing rooms to become much larger without adjusting the height of the room. This expansion continues until the original dimensions of the room have been tripled.
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At this point, SCP-184 starts creating wholly new rooms. SCP-184 is apparently able to copy items from inside the structure, creating furnished rooms consistent with the rest of the structure. After a period of time, however, the expansion process appears to break down. For example, items will be made from inappropriate materials (glass books, a wooden microwave), rooms will be oddly-shaped, doors will open into blank walls, and hallways will be tiny or twist back around in long mazes. The new inside structures continue to be more and more odd, while the outside remains unchanged.
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This behavior is most dramatically illustrated in homes; however, it has been observed in other instances, including a cardboard box. The changes do not go away with the removal of SCP-184, but no additional structures are created.
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Addendum 184 - 1: Notes from Dr. █████
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I don’t think I need to stress the fact that this thing can NEVER be allowed into Site-19. We may need to look into different containment at some point, but for the time being, we will keep it in the open, immovable, and hidden.
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Addendum 184 - 2: Locations of Interest
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It is currently hypothesized that SCP-184 or an anomaly with a similar effect may be responsible for the creation of Locations of Interest such as Backdoor SoHo, and Chūgoku Cellar. Investigation into SCP-184 as a potential origin for these spaces is ongoing.
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Addendum 184 – 38RB: Notes on recovery
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SCP-184 was recovered in the Kowloon Walled City in June of ████. Reports of the city's bizarre and explosive growth attracted Operatives, who soon learned of SCP-184, held in the possession of [DATA EXPUNGED]. After several police crackdowns, Mobile Task Force Zeta-9 was dispatched and recovered SCP-184 with minimal losses. The final effect of exposure to SCP-184 on both the City and inhabitants may never fully be understood due to the reckless actions of local law enforcement, which destroyed several affected sections of the city before Operatives could take action to prevent it.
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Interviews with residents yielded minimal information, with a communal “wall of silence” being the major response. A few documents indicated that SCP-184 could be brought into a home and allowed to affect the dwelling for 50 pounds sterling per half hour. These documents were unconfirmed by residents.
Special Containment Procedures: The current goal of studying SCP-1859 is to catalogue the endemic life forms contained within and to prevent the escape of endemic life into the surrounding ecosystem. To this end, all known access points are to be either sealed or continually monitored by closed circuit television (maintained weekly for any malfunctioning components). Exploration of the walls of the surrounding chamber for further access points is ongoing, and any newly discovered tunnels are to be thoroughly examined and mapped, prior to being permanently sealed, in order to ensure that there are no infestations of endemic fauna.
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SCP-1859 is divided into three concentric areas, entitled the Green Zone (consisting of the space surrounding the centre of the phenomenon to a distance of ██ km), the Red Zone (between ██ km from centre and ███ km from centre), and the White Zone (███ km from centre to ███ km from centre). Monitoring Station ██ has been established at the base of the primary access shaft, at the outer edge of the White Zone.
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Personnel entering the White Zone are to wear full hazardous materials gear and a radiation monitor, and are limited to no more than 30 minutes of exposure. The exception to this rule are D-Class personnel entering the Red Zone and Green Zone for the purposes of an expedition.
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Due to the high flux of ionizing radiation within the Red Zone, expeditions within it are limited to no more than five hours (subjective time). No personnel, other than D-Class, may enter or go beyond the Red Zone. In order to ensure compliance during an expedition, D-Class personnel are told that they have been exposed to a pathogen which incubates for five hours before symptoms become fatal and that an antidote is available upon successful completion of the mission. To this end, D-Class personnel assigned to an expedition must first be screened for any background suggesting that they are aware of the symptoms of radiation poisoning.
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As electronic components are easily damaged by the radiation produced in the Red Zone, a fleet of specialized mechanically powered vehicles, dubbed Zip Racers by onsite staff, are maintained for the purpose of quick transportation to and from an expedition.
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Because of the primary anomalous effect of SCP-1859, Monitoring Station ██ must be equipped with three separate chronometers. Chronometer A details subjective time at Monitoring Station ██. Chronometer B details the external time calculated based on measurements of the anomalous properties of SCP-1859. Chronometer C is located on the surface, at the top of the primary access shaft, with a direct feed to Monitoring Station ██. Any discrepancies between Chronometers B and C must be noted immediately.
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Description: SCP-1859 is a rapidly developing ecosystem enclosed by a temporal anomaly, located in a chamber, ███ km in diameter. The chamber is located at [DATA REDACTED], approximately █ km below the surface, initially believed to have been a natural nuclear fission reactor due to relatively high amounts of emitted radiation. It is currently unknown how the chamber is able to remain stable despite its size, or why the chamber is cooler than the surrounding mantle; however, it is hypothesized that this is related to the temporal anomaly in some way.
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Initial observations of SCP-1859 noted unusually high levels of incredibly energetic ionizing radiation, with both wavelength and flux decreasing as one travels away from the centre of the chamber. When researchers looked into the centre of SCP-1859, they observed it as appearing incredibly hazy and distorted. It was soon discovered that both of these observations were related to the above mentioned time anomaly. As one approaches the centre of the chamber, time is observed to pass at a different rate, such that an observer farther from the centre sees external time pass more quickly than an observer closer in.
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The relationship between time and the distance from centre is such that radiation that enters the anomaly is red-shifted so that, when it is reflected from an object within, it is scattered in a manner consistent with a much lower frequency wave. Likewise, radiation produced in the centre of the anomaly, no matter how low its energy, is blue-shifted to such an extent that the end result, when observed from outside, appears as high energy ionizing radiation. Though the actual source is unknown, calculations indicate that, at the centre, the photons are consistent with the primary resonance frequency of electromagnetic radiation in the chamber itself (approximately ███ Hz, at a rate of [REDACTED]). Despite the rate of photon production being very low, the compression of time ultimately results in lethal doses of ionizing radiation at certain distances.
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The innermost Green Zone (initially labeled the Black Zone) is a region in which flux and frequency of radiation are such that life can theoretically be sustained. The Red Zone is where the radiation is blue-shifted to potentially dangerous frequencies and the flux is high enough that lethal exposure is guaranteed. Radiation in the outermost White Zone, though more energetic, is sufficiently diffused that radiation poisoning can be treated, so long as exposure is limited.
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When initially discovered, the entirety of SCP-1859 was sterile, due to the effects of ionizing radiation, as verified by Expeditions E-1859-1 and E-1859-2. Samples from within the Black Zone confirmed a thick deposit of simple organic matter. Following Expedition E-1859-3, from which D-2388 did not return, a sudden decrease in oxygen levels within the chamber was observed before levels restabilized. E-1859-6 through E-1859-8 found a coating of slime on the chamber floor which increased in mass as time went on. This slime, along with other life seen in future observations, have been determined to have descended from the gut flora of D-2388, based on recovered samples.
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Drops in radiation flux were noted after E-1859-8, determined, in later expeditions, to be related to the emergence of photosynthetic organisms which use the resonant radiation of the chamber as an energy source. In addition, primitive animal-like life forms had been observed.
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On ██/██/████, observations from Monitoring Station ██ saw signs of fauna native to the Green Zone performing actions inside the White Zone. Despite the majority not surviving long after passing through the Red Zone, excursions of native fauna have since increased in frequency, leading to current Special Containment Procedures.
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Addendum 1859-1: Expedition E-1859-██ has found evidence of primitive tools used within the Green Zone. The life form that produced the tool has not yet been directly encountered; however, this suggests the potential of a sapient entity developing within this ecosystem. New expeditions have been scheduled over the following days to search for further signs of an emerging civilization.
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Addendum 1859-2: Expeditions E-1859-██ through ██ have shown little change in the design of new-found tools, suggesting that the population producing these tools are remaining stagnant in their development. The search for the creatures that made them is ongoing.
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Addendum 1859-3: The primitive tools detailed in Addenda 1859-1 and 1859-2 have been attributed to a predatory plant, as of Expedition E-1859-██. The stones are fashioned using a set procedure that is dictated purely by instinct. Despite this being a false alarm, we highly recommend that a guideline be put in place, should a sapient life form evolve within SCP-1859.
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Request has been forwarded to Overseer Command for evaluation.
Are we to treat these theoretical intelligent life forms as a new friend or as a potential threat? And, if they are deemed a threat, is it not wiser to use any means to destroy the Green Zone ecosystem immediately, rather than sit idly by as the danger becomes more and more likely? Time is ticking while we think things over. Let's hope that it won't be too late when we finally come to a decision.
Prior to discovery of SCP-1859 and Expedition E-1859-3, it was impossible for life to maintain any kind of foothold inside what is now called the Green Zone. Despite a large deposit of organic material on and within the chamber's surface, living things were not able to survive the transition through the Red Zone. Two methods existed for bacteria to pass through the Red Zone: Via air and via ground. Neither proved viable.
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Airborne bacteria, though rare, exist within the SCP-1859 chamber. Air currents allow these bacteria to pass through the Red Zone where the radiation quickly kills them. The result ultimately settles on the cavern floor and denatures through a combination of oxidation and further exposure to ionizing radiation. Over time, this produced the organic deposits within the chamber. Endolithic bacteria have also been found within the chamber, primarily in the outer regions of the White Zone. Because they reproduce slowly, these bacteria are not able to survive extended exposure to the radiation found closer to the centre of SCP-1859.
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The reasons for D-2388 remaining within what was, at the time, the Black Zone are still unknown and are likely to remain a mystery. His quick transition through the Red Zone via Zip Racer allowed a small number of bacteria living on and within his body to survive. The bacteria fed on the remains of D-2388 until a few made the transition to the organic deposits. Their descendants spread through the entirety of the Black Zone until, by the time of E-1859-6, they had managed to produce an extensive biofilm.
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The initial development of photosynthesis within the primitive biofilm is a matter of speculation. Photosynthetic molecules from recovered samples consistently denature when brought through the Red Zone, preventing researchers from determining their biochemical origins. Because the oxygen levels within the chamber stabilized fairly quickly, it is believed that this had occurred early on, during the initial spread of life. The possible ecological consequences of this happening at a later time are beyond the scope of this summary.
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The emergence of true plant analogues in later expeditions warranted renaming the centre-most region from the Black Zone to the Green Zone. The unusual physics within SCP-1859 require that all photosynthesis depends on the radiation produced in the centre of the phenomenon. Therefore, the first flora proved to be ridges extending from the biofilm, each its own unique ecosystem that depended on the primary radiation frequencies found in that region. The most successful colonies ultimately spread through the biofilm, producing concentric rings centering around the radiation source.
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The competition between concentric colonies had two ultimate effects: The first was the development of independently autonomous fauna. The first were slow-moving extensions of an outer colony that would eat the ridges closer in and provide a gap through which radiation could pass, in addition to providing the parent colony with organic matter. The ancestors of the current native fauna were likely a reproductive adaptation that caused the extensions to bud off and find a new area in which to settle, similar in function to a plasmodial slime mold. Since that initial adaptation, the fauna have developed into multiple complex forms that have few, if any, morphological similarities to their plant-like ancestors. Many have even lost their photosynthetic capability.
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The second effect was the current distribution of flora within the Green Zone. Though little is known of the biochemical pathways that allow photosynthesis in the native flora, it is clear that there is a lower limit to the radiation frequencies that can be absorbed. This has been determined to be [REDACTED], as indicated by the innermost ring of plants and its distance from the centre of the chamber. The energy absorbed by the flora is transformed into chemical energy and is ultimately re-emitted as black body radiation. Due to the blue shift produced by the temporal effects of SCP-1859, the black body radiation eventually becomes energetic enough that it can be absorbed via the same biochemical pathway by other plants growing farther out. The process is ultimately analogous to a step-down transformer, with the flora playing an active part in its execution.
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The step-down transformer ecology is believed to be what allows some native fauna to pass through the Red Zone relatively unharmed, as ionizing radiation is weakest near the chamber's surface. Though some of these life forms have been seen to adapt via behaviour, the scattering of photons from farther in still kills many of them.
Many have wondered what it is like to walk through the Green Zone. Interviews from multiple expeditions have shed light, so to speak, on what one would experience. As you enter the wilderness within the Green Zone, you will notice a faint red light between the leaves of the plants. The plants themselves would be dark. Going deeper, you will see that faint glow remain unchanged, though the shapes of the leaves might be different. The red light is nothing more than Sisyphus' boulder, caused by the infrared radiation produced by the inner plants, blue shifted into visibility. You will never find its source, no matter how far in you go.
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Turning around to leave, you will see nothing but darkness. Should you have a flashlight in hand and turn it on, you will see an impossibly sharp image. The light that you produce is blue-shifted as it travels, until it connects with the plants that live there. It is then reflected back to you with very high resolution. Sadly, the human eye is not equipped to resolve much of the detail that is there. What is interesting is that some of that light, because it's so energetic by the time that it reaches its destination, will pass through the plant and reflect off of layers that are still farther out. And so, hidden within the detail of one layer will be a faint echo of others still farther out.
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Now point the flashlight back in. You will see what can perhaps be one of the saddest and inspiring sights you've ever witnessed: The wall of plants in front of you will visibly wilt from the visible radiation produced by your flashlight. Deeper in, you will see the red plants that had teased you earlier also wilt away, even more quickly than those directly next to you. Several layers will eventually be exposed, each whiter than the last. When you get to a shade about the same as what you see coming from the flashlight, the plants there will begin to grow on top of each other, attempting to absorb every last bit of light that you've produced. For a short time, you will have become a bringer of new life within the Green Zone. When you finally turn your flashlight off, though, be aware that you will have also taken the source of that life away forever.
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All of these things have made me and several other researchers envy the D-Class personnel who actually see this first-hand. We don't envy them enough to allow ourselves to die of radiation sickness, just for the experience, but still enough to sigh wistfully at what could have been.
Special Containment Procedures: The town SCP-2261 is located in must be continuously monitored for instances of SCP-2261-1. Instances are to be captured and contained for experimentation purposes. Instances are to be captured only after an SCP-2261 event has taken place, and before the instance involved re-activates. Any video footage containing instances of SCP-2261-1 is to be confiscated.
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Description: SCP-2261 is an ongoing phenomenon occurring throughout the town of █████████, England. When any person within the legal borders of the town perpetrates a form of petty crime (e.g., littering, shoplifting, loitering, etc) within a populated public area, a minimum of two instances of SCP-2261-1 will emerge from the crowd. Instances of SCP-2261-1 appear to be human adults wearing high-visibility police vests, and continuously vocalizing a loud noise similar to a standard British police siren.
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Anyone directly viewing an instance of SCP-2261-1 will believe it to be a British police car with blacked-out windows1, and will behave accordingly to the situation. Subjects will often show surprise to the sudden appearance of an instance and will often, but not always, attempt to flee the instances under the fear of arrest for their crimes.
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If caught, the instance will transport the subject to the █████████ police station, which they will then enter believing to be escorted by a police officer. Once inside, subjects will be taken into police custody and be put through the regular arrest process. The instance of SCP-2261-1 will then place itself in a nearby car parking space and cease all signs of consciousness and higher brain power. Inactive instances will regain consciousness shortly after and continue to patrol █████████.
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If detained during an active state, those directly viewing an instance of SCP-2261-1 will describe seeing a pair of police officers exiting it (referred to as SCP-2261-1A). Instances of SCP-2261-1A are described as adult humans dressed in standard police uniforms, and will often express panic and alarm at those attempting to detain SCP-2261-1, usually describing the situation as beyond 'Their expertise’, before quickly fleeing from the area. SCP-2261-1A instances will disappear from witnesses perspectives and the effects of SCP-2261-1 will cease shortly after. All instances of SCP-2261-1 taken into Foundation custody have remained in an insentient state.
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Below is a list of notable incidents involving SCP-2261
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Incident 2261-11
+Date: 22/11/2014
+Incident Report: A man was spotted by an instance of SCP-2261 leaving a local newsagent. The subject proceeded to run away from the instance which in turn gave chase. The subject was eventually caught by SCP-2261-1 and brought to the █████████ police station.
<14:27> A young man in his early twenties is seen leaving the newsagent and entering a large crowd.
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<14:31> An instance of SCP-2261-1 appears from the crowd, a white Caucasian male estimated to be between the age of 30 and 35. SCP-2261-1 begins emitting a siren and walks slowly towards the subject, the subject notices SCP-2261-1 and proceeds to run out of the crowd, surrounding civilians clear away from SCP-2261-1.
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<14:33> SCP-2261-1 makes its way through the crowd and begins running towards the subject. The subject runs into a nearby alleyway occasionally looking back at SCP-2261-1. SCP-2261-1 runs onto a nearby road close by and begins following it.
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<14:38> The subject is seen running out of the entrance of the alleyway into another section of the town, pausing to catch their breath.
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<14:41> SCP-2261-1 appears from around a street corner and pursues the subject. The subject notices SCP-2261-1 and continues running away.
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<14:44> Subject begins slowing down, showing signs of exhaustion. SCP-2261-1 ceases movement upon reaching the subject. The sound of car doors opening emits from SCP-2261-1's mouth followed by footsteps and an unknown voice coming from SCP-2261-1.
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SCP-2261-1:Alright come on don't try anything, seriously you've done enough.
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Subject kneels on the sidewalk and puts hands behind his back, a slight metal click is heard.
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Subject:This is complete crap! I didn't do anything what do you think you're doing!?
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SCP-2261-1:Don't give me that, we have several accounts of you littering in a public area.
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Subject:Are you serious!?
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SCP-2261-1:You'd better sort yourself out and work on that attitude of yours, you're looking at a sentence of one, possibly two hours prison time.
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The subject gets up and begins walking towards SCP-2261-1, keeping their hands behind their back.
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<14:46> SCP-2261-1 crouches slightly and forms a hoop with its arms behind its back; the subject then fits their legs through SCP-2261-1's arms. SCP-2261-1 then stands up and begins running in the opposite direction with the subject riding on its back.
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<15:14> The subject is escorted to █████████ police station. The subject is let down by SCP-2261-1 and enters the premises.
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<End Log>
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Incident 2261-27
+Date: 15/12/2014
+Incident Report: During a chase between an instance of SCP-2261-1 and a subject who had shoplifted CDs from a nearby music store, the instance slipped on a spot of ice and began stumbling uncontrollably, emitting sounds similar to that of car tires screeching. The instance continued to stumble around until 'crashing' into a nearby tree. At this point a civilian ran over to it, the instance could then be heard speaking with them in an urgent manner, believing them to be an ambulance and claimed that its colleague was in dire need of medical attention. The subject was never detained.
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Incident 2261-39
+Date: 07/01/2015
+Incident Report: Incident took place nearby a local jewellers where a robbery was being committed. Bystanders spotted an instance of SCP-2261-1 patrolling the area and attempted to alert it to the robbery. Instead, the instance became preoccupied with an elderly woman smoking a cigarette in a non-smoking area and attempted to arrest her.
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Incident 2261-43
+Date: 26/01/2015
+Incident Report: Several men were seen walking down █████ street (a street in the █████████). Men had left a local pub shortly before appearing to be heavily intoxicated. Two instances of SCP-2261-1 arrive and reportedly attempt to arrest the men for 'driving under the influence'. After several minutes of arguing with the instances of SCP-2261-1, one of the men shoves at the air in front of him supposedly in an attempt to attack an instance of SCP-2261-1A. Several seconds pass before the other men manage to restrain him, the sound of car doors closing and a disgruntled voice originating from an instance of SCP-2261-1 can be heard claiming 'He's shoving me! He's fucking shoving me! This just got too real too fast, get the hell out of here!'. Both instances then fled the scene.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-227 is to be kept in a climate-controlled room, at a temperature of 21-24°C and humidity no higher than 10%. Anyone touching the object is required to wear surgical gloves; a supply of these is to be kept with SCP-227 at all times. Food, drink, cigarettes, or any other sources of contamination are not allowed inside of the containment area. Loose clothing, hair, or other adornment is not recommended. Only personnel with Level 3 clearance or higher are allowed access to SCP-227, although lower ranking staff are allowed to use the object while under supervision. If SCP-227 needs to be transported to another location, it should be sealed in an insulated, airtight container filled with an inert gas.
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Description: SCP-227 is a bronze clockwork device measuring 10 cm x 16 cm x 26 cm and weighing 5 kg. SCP-227 is somewhat similar in appearance to reconstructions of the "Antikythera Mechanism", an incomplete and heavily corroded Greek artifact thought to date from approximately 100 BCE. Unlike that artifact, SCP-227 was found intact and apparently fully functional. This is partly because SCP-227 was found on land at ██████, █████, instead of at the bottom of the Mediterranean, but the lack of significant damage is remarkable. Preliminary testing of SCP-227 shows that it may have some ability to repair itself over time. Further testing is pending approval from O5 level staff.
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SCP-227 has one major dial with three hands on the front face; this dial has several concentric rings which rotate independently. The rear face has two major dials with two hands each; these dials are surrounded by a spiral groove, through which some of the internal gearing is visible. A number of smaller dials are arranged around the rest of the object. The total number of these minor dials visible at once varies when the object is in use, as does the number of hands on each dial. There are three small cranks on the right side of SCP-227. Turning any of these sets the moving parts of SCP-227 into action. The top crank causes the most rapid change; some of the smaller hands have been observed moving at speeds of over ████ RPM. Extended use of the top crank causes SCP-227 to heat up significantly. Personnel are advised to use caution when turning the top crank, to avoid damaging SCP-227 or injuring themselves. The middle and bottom crank are used for medium and fine adjustments, respectively.
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The object is covered in a large number of inscriptions. The majority of these are in Attic Greek; however, some are in various writing systems that have yet to be deciphered. These include Linear A, Cretan hieroglyphs, and one or more unknown languages. The translatable text is essentially a manual of operation for SCP-227, with the exception of one passage which states [DATA EXPUNGED]. The full significance of this passage is under investigation.
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Early indications are that SCP-227 is an incredibly accurate astronomical computer. Symbols corresponding to the Sun, Moon, and planets are prominently placed on the front major dial, along with many other symbols of unknown meaning. The rear major dials have markings consistent with several ancient calendar systems. These include the Callippic, Metonic, Saros, and Sothic cycles. There are also at least two more previously unknown calendar systems present.
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Addendum SCP-227-01: Further study has revealed that SCP-227 is able to compute the locations of bodies that were only recently discovered by modern astronomers. For example, one set of hands and markings corresponds to the Kuiper belt object 50000 Quaoar. Quaoar is difficult to detect even with the Hubble Space Telescope; how the designer of SCP-227 was able to predict its orbit is unknown.
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Addendum SCP-227-02: SCP-227 has demonstrated an ability to predict even aperiodic astronomical events. One researcher was turning the top crank and happened to notice a minor dial appear very briefly. Fine tuning revealed that the minor dial first appears on a date corresponding to 23 Feb 1987. This is the date that the supernova SN 1987A was first observed on Earth.
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Addendum SCP-227-03: Advancing SCP-227 past the date corresponding to ██ ███ 2███ is not possible. A force of up to 100 N applied to the bottom crank is unable to produce any movement past this date. Testing with additional force has not been authorized due to the risk of damaging SCP-227. When the object is set to this date, a large number of dials and symbols appear which are not seen at any other setting. The meaning of this final setting is unknown. Some researchers believe that this may represent an XK class end-of-the-world scenario, such as a wandering brown dwarf (the so-called “Nemesis hypothesis”), a gamma ray burst, or [DATA EXPUNGED].
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Addendum SCP-227-04: The date of the final setting on SCP-227 was observed to change once, to a time ██ years later than the previous date. The symbols that appeared at this new final setting were somewhat different from the previous one, but their meaning remains unknown. Research into what may have caused this change is underway.
Special Containment Procedures: Industrialized countries should be monitored for SCP-2407 through groups such as the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation; national and local mental health organizations; professional organizers; and self-help groups. Suspected instances of SCP-2407 should be reported to the Memetic Studies Department for analysis.
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These occurrences of SCP-2407 should be observed and monitored carefully for no fewer than two weeks before formal containment to verify level of infection, determine the remaining capacities of the victim, and assess—if possible—the precise method by which SCP-2407 is communicated to its victims. Local broadcast stations should be monitored for possible secondary affection of technicians, and to track possible sources of the SCP-2407 effect.
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Infected subjects of SCP-2407 should be approached by agents posing as home inspectors, cable repairmen, delivery men, or another unspecified service to initiate assessment of the full scope of infection. Following initial assessment, the subject should be removed from the premises, which must then be monitored via Class-D personnel. In the event that inserted Class-D subjects become infected, they are to be given Class-A amnestics and reassigned. Premises must be leveled and reallocated following subsequent study.
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Infected subjects should be administered Class-A amnestics and routine retraining, then relocated to a pre-approved site. Monitoring should continue until it is verified that SCP-2407 no longer poses a threat to that subject.
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All data regarding SCP-2407 is to be studied by the research/tracking division of Mobile Task Force Psi-7 in order to determine the origin of the anomaly.
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Description: SCP-2407 is a cognitohazardous effect of unknown origin which causes humans to become helpless. The vector of infection for SCP-2407 is unknown, as is the amount of time SCP-2407 has existed and how many subjects it has affected. SCP-2407 is known to occur in all areas with regular television broadcasts.
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Subjects affected by SCP-2407 slowly lose any ability to perform basic tasks. Initially, subjects will display "clumsiness". Over time, subjects will be rendered unable to do things such as prepare food, operate machinery, or clean themselves. Testing has shown that there is nothing physical preventing them from performing these tasks, and brain activity appears normal. The subjects appear to choose not to do them correctly.
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The purchase and usage of products advertised in infomercial and "seen-on-TV" style adverts appear to alleviate SCP-2407's effect temporarily. In addition, speech therapy can allow the subjects to continue communicating after they are otherwise unable to move or act under their own power. Eventually, all subjects will be rendered effectively vegetative. Application of Class-A amnestics has been shown to have some success for reversing SCP-2407's effect.
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SCP-2407 was initially discovered after keywords in reports of a 'hoarding' case caused the Foundation to investigate. During initial recovery, Agent Albert Montoya entered the premises to assess damage under the guise of an "Organization Counselor." Agent Montoya helped the subject for two hours, at which point, when preparing to leave, they note that the subject's "Instant Potato Peeler" seems to be highly useful and functional. This was noted, and Agent Montoya was later observed to purchase one upon his return to Site-77. Agent Montoya was later confirmed for infection after being unable to demonstrate how to peel a potato without the use of the 'seen-on-tv' peeler.
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SCP-2407 Selected Incidents
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Location: Boston, MA, USA
+Affliction Level: Subject was unable to utilize furniture, and their basic motion was severely disoriented. Had been affected by SCP-2407 for an estimated six weeks.
+Products Located: Furniture Fix, Miracle Copper Sox, Forever Comfy Cushion
+Actions Taken: Subject issued Class-A amnestics.
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Location: Columbus, OH, USA
+Affliction Level: Subjects had been affected for approximately two months. All drawers, cabinets, and other containers were found to be completely empty, and the subjects possessions were found throughout the home. Two subjects were found to be deceased, one having been crushed by a pile of trash, the other having been suffocated under a pile of clothing. None of the other subjects living in the home had attempted to exit or contact others to remove the bodies, which were located in a state of severe decay.
+Products Located: GripEz, Catch Caddy Car Organizer, Miracle Copper Sox
+Actions Taken: Subjects were issued Class A amnestics. Bodies were incinerated.
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Location: Columbus, OH, USA
+Affliction Level: The home was discovered next door to the previous case. Subject was determined to have hoarded garbage in their home for several years. Foundation personnel intervened and searched the home and other surrounding homes for vectors of infection.
+Products Located: None.
+Actions Taken: Homeowner was determined to be suffering from non-anomalous mental disorder, and the case was forwarded to local medical authorities.
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Location: Sunrise, FL, USA
+Affliction Level: Subject had been unable to leave their house or wash dishes, but had been able to prepare food and purchase new silverware for several months after that. Several hundred garbage-encrusted plates were located at the scene.
+Products Located: Miracle Copper Sox, ShamWow!, HD Vision, Copper Hands gloves.
+Actions Taken: Home was isolated, razed, and reconstructed. Subject was issued Class-A amnestics.
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Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
+Affliction Level: The residence was discovered abandoned, and the homeowner's current status is unknown. In addition, several hundred fresh and rotting fish and other meats were discovered in the freezer.
+Products Located: Ronco branded knives (heavily used), missing the filet knife.
+Actions Taken: Home was razed under cover of asbestos removal.
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Addendum: Interview 2407-DDF
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Interviewed: Subject 45-S, affected by SCP-2407 for an estimated 2 months.
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Interviewer: Dr. Boyd
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Foreword: Subject was unable to dress themselves, operate machinery, and struggled with basic movement skills.
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<Begin Log>
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Dr. Boyd: How are you feeling? Comfortable?
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Subject 45-S: I'm okay…
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Dr. Boyd: Then we can begin the interview.
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Subject 45-S: Actually, can you do one thing?
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Dr. Boyd: Certainly.
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Subject 45-S: Can you fix my shirt? It's, uh, uncomfortable?
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Level 1 personnel enter the containment chamber and adjust the subject's shirt.
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Dr. Boyd: Is that better?
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Subject 45-S: Yeah. Thanks.
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Dr. Boyd: So, when did you notice changes in your behavior?
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Subject 45-S: It was… about five months ago. I was making myself a cheese steak. I'd gotten it made, and then I dropped it. So, I clean up. I make another one. I drop that one too. After that, things got real bad.
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Dr. Boyd: What happened next?
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Subject 45-S: I went to this doctor, and he said I was fine. I went to other doctors, and they said I was fine. I made a schedule to see a shrink, and that was the day that I… um… I went outside, and I couldn't get into my car. I couldn't figure out how.
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Dr. Boyd: You didn't tell anyone what was going on?
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Subject 45-S: No. I just went inside, tried to settle down. I watched a lot of TV. Grandma left me the house, and I had some money put back, so I knew I'd be fine for a while. I guess I just felt like, uh until I could… I felt like I needed to sort myself out.
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Dr. Boyd: That was when you started using the infomercial products?
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Subject 45-S: Yeah. They actually helped, for a bit. I had stuff like… I had a shamwow, instead of paper towels. I didn't 'get' paper towels anymore. They were confusing. The shammy rag, I could get it.
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Dr. Boyd: How long did it work?
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Subject 45-S: It worked really well. For about a week. I stopped watching TV, I was doing better, but then I forgot how to use the shammy. I saw the ad again, then I remembered, thank god. So I just kept watching. I left the TV on all the time, and I waited. For anything that would help. I just need something better.
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Dr. Boyd: Did you find anything?
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Subject 45-S: Well, there was one thing.
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<Interview Terminated to Avoid Possible Transmission>
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Closing Note: Dr. Boyd monitored for [REDACTED] Usage for Three Weeks.
Incident 2407-SS: On 09/18/2011, Foundation agents located a warehouse apparently used for shipping SCP-2407-affected products and producing SCP-2407 related advertisements. Inside this building, there were approximately 10,000 different 'seen-on-tv' devices, as well as a sound stage and facilities capable of supporting up to 200 individuals living full-time on the site.
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Several Class-A and Class-C amnestic devices were also recovered, along with extensive documentation as to how to manufacture, utilize, and engineer them. As this represented an alarming security breach, all records on the site were seized and the recovered amnestics destroyed.
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Recovered documentation from the site indicated that the SCP Foundation had authorized the funding, creation, and development of the facility as part of SCP-2407's containment. Initially, it was believed that this represented an intelligence leak. However, no evidence suggested that any group other than the Foundation itself had been involved. Other than the records at the scene, no internal Foundation documents correspond to the discovered site.
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Two weeks after the finalization of Incident 2407-SS, an outbreak of SCP-2407 affliction occurred in Dallas, TX. Agents were able to trace the outbreaks source to a functionally identical warehouse, containing sixty-six amnestic devices and documentation indicating it had been set up at approximately the same time as the building discovered during the initial incident. Due to the duplicate records it is unclear which was constructed first.
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Reclassification of SCP-2407 to Keter is under consideration.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2425 is to be kept in a 10.5m x 8.5m x 5m containment cell in Reliquary Site-251. The cell is to be outfitted with one stage meant for the performance of dramatic acts, specifically musicals. At 16:00 EST on every second Friday of the month, a performance of a single song from a musical with religious themes is to be performed by volunteer Foundation researchers with some form of musical skill.
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The list of approved musicals includes:
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Jesus Christ Superstar (Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice)
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Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice)
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The Prince of Egypt (Dreamworks Animation, dir. Simon Wells, Brenda Chapman, Steve Hickner)
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The Fiddler on the Roof (Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick)
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The Book of Mormon (Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Robert Lopez)
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The following Sunday, a sermon is to be given by a Foundation-appointed religious authority regarding either Exodus 20:3-6, the Book of Leviticus, a passage from the Book of Mormon, a reading from the Torah, a reading from the Qu'ran, or the Horizon Initiative's Universal Text, if available.
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Following this, a replica of an instance of SCP-1425 is to be burned within two meters of SCP-2425. If a replica is unavailable, a copy of a film that Steffan Bristow has performed in may be substituted.
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It is to be publicly maintained that the actor Steffan Bristow died on January 4th, 2010 of a drug overdose in his room at the [REDACTED] Hotel in New York City. Films that star or feature Steffan Bristow may continue to be distributed, provided they have been scrubbed of Memetic Vector 2425-01, which involves the deletion of no more than five frames of film from the final cut.
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Description: SCP-2425 is an android originally made to resemble Steffan Bristow, a Dutch-American actor and member of the Fifth Church. SCP-2425 has a frame made out of an iron alloy similar to Damascus steel, but with approximately 15% more nanotube structures present in SCP-2425 than in the average specimen of the alloy. Upon recovery, SCP-2425 was covered by an anatomically correct approximation of Steffan Bristow's appearance, made out of human skin with an exact DNA match to Mr. Bristow.
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SCP-2425's primary anomalous effect occurred when it was part of the production of a major motion picture, specifically during its appearances on-camera2. When appearing on-camera for a duration of more than fifty-five seconds, SCP-2425's eyes glow on-screen. Following this, a short, memetic message flashes on the screen, known as Memetic Vector 2425-01 (hereafter M.V. 2425-01). M.V. 2425-01 usually takes the form of a quote from Fifth Church scripture, a lyric from a Fifthist hymn or song, or a passage from one of the early chapters of SCP-1425. This effect occurs only five times per movie SCP-2425 is featured in, and only occurs for a single frame at a time.
+
If individuals that have not undergone Level-2 Inoculation against Memetic Vector 2425-01 are exposed to it, they will develop an interest in Steffan Bristow's life, leading to affected individuals attempting to find information about Bristow, his films, and any other actors featured within them. This will eventually lead individuals affected by M.V. 2425-01 to information on the Fifth Church. This further leads to up to 20-27% of individuals affected by M.V. 2425-01 to joining the Fifth Church. Post-exposure inoculation within 52 hours can lead to up to a 59% decrease in interest on the subject of Steffan Bristow.
+
A secondary anomalous effect occurs when SCP-2425 is in its powered-on state. When in this state, various news media outlets located in the Hollywood Area will report stories about Steffan Bristow's continued existence, being held by a 'shadow-governmental agency'. These are believed to be transmissions broadcast by SCP-2425 in an attempt to free itself from containment.
+
SCP-2425 is powered by an anomalous power source, designated SCP-2425-A. SCP-2425-A is a form of battery that is powered and recharged by specific vibrational frequencies. These frequencies are produced by the human voice during the vocalization of songs by the band Constellation Starfish (a group affiliated with the Fifth Church) including singing, humming, or simply speaking the lyrics; a single word from the song "Old Chilly the Space Trucker", intoned as conceived by the composing artist, was found to produce enough energy to power SCP-2425 for approximately five hours.
+
Currently, a way to drain SCP-2425's power has not been discovered. As such, it has been classified as a Keter-Class anomaly due to the threat it posses to the Foundation's mission of secrecy. See Experiment Logs.
+
Experiment Log 2425-D: The following records Foundation attempts to power down SCP-2425.
+
Test #: 001
+Hypothesis: SCP-2425 could be disabled by removing SCP-2425-A
+Procedure: D-Class personnel would attempt to manually remove SCP-2425-A.
+Result: Upon contact with SCP-2425-A, D-Class personnel D-2812 was electrocuted by SCP-2425-A and immediately died.
+Conclusion: Manual removal of SCP-2425-A impossible with bare hands.
+
Test #: 002
+Hypothesis: See Test # 001
+Procedure: See Test #001, but D-Class personnel would have full-body electrical insulation.
+Result: Electrical charge somehow bypassed insulation; however, resultant electrical shock was not fatal. D-Class Personnel D-2813 complained of having 'a song stuck in his head' until end-of-month retirement.
+Conclusion: Manual removal of SCP-2425 is impossible.
+
Test #: 005
+Hypothesis: Due to the fact that SCP-2425-A was apparently powered by Fifthist hymns, Dr. Eldridge hypothesized that hymns from other religions could de-power SCP-2425-A.
+Procedure: A small choir of volunteer Foundation researchers was instructed to sing the hymns "Amazing Grace" and "God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen".
+Result: No change in power levels in SCP-2425-A; broadcast reporting a sighting of Steffan Bristow in the town of [REDACTED], approximately fifteen kilometers from where SCP-2425 was located, was reported by an NBC news affiliate in Hollywood.
+
Test #: 011
+Hypothesis: Dr. Eldridge hypothesized that a Jewish hymn would depower SCP-2425-A.
+Procedure: Originally, it was intended for the song "Ma Nevu" to be performed by volunteer researchers who were fluent in Hebrew; however, Dr. Eldridge's research assistant mistakenly obtained a Hebrew translation of lyrics to the song "To Life (L'chayim)" from the musical Fiddler on the Roof.
+Result: Recognizing the tune approximately thirty seconds into the song, Dr. Eldridge ordered the test be terminated, with a repeat of the test to be scheduled for a later date.
+
However, Dr. Eldridge noted that SCP-2425's movements appeared more sluggish following this test.
+
Conclusion: Further testing necessary.
+
Test #: 012
+Hypothesis: Songs related to religion, but not explicitly used in religious ceremonies or gatherings, would be effective in depowering SCP-2425-A.
+Procedure: Dr. Eldridge selected three songs to be sung by volunteer researchers: "Hello" from the musical The Book of Mormon, "The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash, and "The Christmas Shoes" by the group NewSong.
+Result: Of the three songs, "Hello" was the most effective, with "The Christmas Shoes" and "The Man Comes Around" having little to no effect. Upon the conclusion of "Hello", SCP-2425 had severely impeded movement. It is hypothesized that this power drain was due to the number of singers required to perform "Hello" being larger than the other two songs.
+Conclusion: Songs related to religion, but not explicitly religious in content, will have some effect on SCP-2425-A.
+
Note from Dr. Eldridge: I'd just like to state, on the record, that seeing those researchers sing a song from that Mormon musical is the happiest I've seen them in a while.
+
Test: 014
+Hypothesis: See Test 12, with the addendum that the larger the group singing the song, the more effective the power drain.
+Procedure: The song "Go, Go, Go Joseph" from the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat would be performed by volunteer researchers; in Broadway productions, this song required at least fifteen people to effectively perform.
+Result: Upon conclusion of the song, SCP-2425 saw no further power drain than from previous tests; approximately 50% power drain.
+Conclusion: While the musical method is effective, alternate methods must be found for fully depowering SCP-2425-A.
+
Note from Researcher Mayberry, Research Assistant to Dr. Eldridge: Everyone was laughing after that test. Some of them even started dancing; they really got into it. Think we could do that again, Doc?
+
Note From Dr. Eldridge: It is under consideration.
+
Test #: 017
+Hypothesis: Destruction of objects related to the Fifth Church would result in further power drain.
+Procedure: Test Denied. Items related to the Fifth Church are considered valuable artifacts.
+
Test #: 018
+Hypothesis: See Test # 017
+Procedure: A mockup of an instance of SCP-1425 was created, and then incinerated in front of SCP-2425 and several present researchers.
+Result: Despite the instance not being authentic, SCP-2425 completely powered down upon destruction of the object.
+Conclusion: See Addendum
+
Addendum: Official Proposal from Dr. William Eldridge:
+
+
To: O5-9
+Subject: SCP-2425 Containment Revision
+Reliquary Site-25 is probably one of the most frustrating places to work in the Foundation. Before I came here, I was a theologian, yes, but I was also an atheist. Seeing things like [REDACTED] shook me to my core. God was real, all Gods were real, and they could kill us at any time, trigger the apocalypse by sneezing.
+
It is rare that we make any breakthroughs here. I've had two people on my team commit suicide by SCP out of sheer frustration from banging their heads against the wall and never getting a result.
+
I am happy to report that we have made progress: a way to effectively neutralize SCP-2425, and any other possible instances of it. A combination of spiritual (not explicitly religious) music, performed by a large number of people, along with the apparent destruction of materials related to the Fifth Church, has resulted in a complete powering-off of SCP-2425. As I write this, it has been inactive for the past week.
+
I have attached to this e-mail revised containment procedures for SCP-2425, which have been revised by members of my team. It is simple, cost-effective, and it works. I recommend implementation as soon as possible.
+
Dr. William Eldridge,
+Hazardous Materials Containment Liaison, Reliquary Site-25.
+
+
+
To: Dr. William Eldridge
+Subject: Re: SCP-2425 Containment Revision.
+Approved. Implement these procedures immediately. Good work, Dr. Eldridge.
+-O5-9
Special Containment Procedures: The Site-721 L-Type HACC containing SCP-2451 is to be modified to include temporal integrity seals1. As SCP-2451-1 and SCP-2451-2#14's locations are currently unknown, and SCP-2451-2 emergence events have not ceased and indeed become more prevalent, all previous containment measures not directly related to the containment of SCP-2451-1 will remain in effect.
+
Emerging SCP-2451-2 instances are to be subdued non-lethally if possible, but with deadly force if necessary, and are to be housed in separate M-Type HACCs and supplied with basic amenities unless otherwise indicated. In those cases where, due to the unpredictable temporal and spacial location of SCP-2451's remote terminus, standardized Humanoid Anomaly Containment Cells are not sufficient for reliable containment, specialized containment is to be designed and realized by this project's Senior Containment Specialist, at which time these procedures are to be amended.
+Current exceptions:
+
+
+
Designation
+
Emergence
+
Containment Procedures
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#94
+
2010-02-12
+
To be housed within an M-Type HACC modified to include a 4 m x 4 m x 2.5 m (lxwxh) basin filled with brine (24% MgCl2).
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#145
+
2010-11-24
+
To be contained within a Reinforced Anomalous Cadaver Locker (RACL).
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#168
+
2013-03-17
+
To be contained in a Level 4 Bio-Safety Cabinet. This is to be remotely checked for leaks twice a day. In event of a leak, please see 2451/ConBrch/Ti-15432A:v1.32 and evacuate the Site.
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#177
+
2014-06-28
+
To remain in a permanently powered-down state in this Site's Anomalous Vehicle Bay (AVB).
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#243
+
2016-11-02
+
Containment implausible at this time. Instance displayed physical traits of Macropanesthia rhinoceros (Giant Burrowing Cockroach and Elephas maximus (Asian Elephant). Instance was in possession of advanced technology and disappeared after emergence, location unknown. A Priority Alpha-Red notification has been dispatched to all known partners.
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#275-291
+
2016-11-03
+
Vocalizations from instances are to be disregarded by personnel assigned to their destruction. Security Personnel not complying with the previous instruction will be terminated. Instances are to be disposed of as Class-IV biological hazards using all available equipment. Note that sustained fire is necessary for a 100% kill rate.
+
+
+
The remains of SCP-2451-2 specimens exhumed from the backyard of SCP-2451-1's former residence at ██ ████████ Road, Santa Cruz, CA are to be kept in this Site's Exo-Biological Wing for research purposes, available upon a request authorized by personnel with 2451/3 clearance.
Special Containment Procedures: Although SCP-2451-1 is not anomalous in itself, it is to be housed within an L-Type HACC modified to include temporal integrity seals1. Interviews with SCP-2451-1 are to take place at a location where SCP-2451-1 can be positioned so that SCP-2451 is contained within the same room.
+
Emerging SCP-2451-2 instances are to be subdued, preferably non-lethally, and are generally to be housed in separate M-Type HACCs and supplied with basic amenities. In those cases where, due to the unpredictable temporal and spacial location of SCP-2451's remote terminus, standardized Humanoid Anomaly Containment Cells are not sufficient for reliable containment, specialized containment is to be designed and realized by this project's Senior Containment Specialist, at which time these procedures are to be amended.
+Current exceptions:
+
+
+
Designation
+
Emergence
+
Containment Procedures
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#14
+
Unknown
+
To be housed with SCP-2451-1.
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#94
+
2010-02-12
+
To be housed within an M-Type HACC modified to include a 4 m x 4 m x 2.5 m (lxwxh) basin filled with brine (24% MgCl2).
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#145
+
2010-11-24
+
To be contained within a Reinforced Anomalous Cadaver Locker (RACL).
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#168
+
2013-03-17
+
To be contained in a Level 4 Bio-Safety Cabinet. This is to be remotely checked for leaks twice a day. In event of a leak, please see 2451/ConBrch/Ti-15432A:v1.32 and evacuate the Site.
+
+
+
SCP-2451-2#177
+
2014-06-28
+
To remain in a permanently powered-down state in this Site's Anomalous Vehicle Bay (AVB).
+
+
+
The remains of SCP-2451-2 specimens exhumed from the backyard of SCP-2451-1's former residence at ██ ████████ Road, Santa Cruz, CA are to be kept in this Site's Exo-Biological Wing for research purposes, available upon a request authorized by personnel with 2451/3 clearance.
+
+
+
+
Description: SCP-2451 is a roughly circular, nonobservable temporal and spacial anomaly with an approximate radius of 75 cm. SCP-2451 is not independently mobile but remains permanently fixed at 46°45'28.5"N 100°35'51.8"W, approximately 8.4 meters below ground, at Site-721. Pre-Serapis, SCP-2451 was fixed at a point 2.23 m due eastwards of SCP-2451-1, formerly Lt. Col. Abraham Francis Mary Gustowski (b. 07-03-1929). SCP-2451 appears to be mono-directional, with the observable terminus in this reality construct displaying characteristics of a fixed-state portal. The non-observable terminus appears to be able to connect to an unknown number of divergent reality constructs. It is currently unknown whether SCP-2451 is connected to a single mobile terminus or a set of multiple fixed termini, each anchored to a specific reality construct.
+
SCP-2451 activates at irregular intervals, producing an instance of SCP-2451-2. SCP-2451-2 are native to the temporal reality construct SCP-2451 connects to at that time, and vary wildly in appearance. Instances of SCP-2451-2 appear irate and hostile when emerging from SCP-2451, possibly as a side-effect of traversing SCP-2451. Interrogation of SCP-2451-2 instances reveals a common goal, to assassinate an individual held responsible for atrocities in their native construct, most often because their role during a historical conflict was directly linked to developments in its originating construct.
+
SCP-2451-1 has indicated its involvement in Project Restful Sleep, a classified United States Army project pioneered by Gen. Bowe in 1962. No official documentation has been recovered on the project, but statements from SCP-2451-1 regarding affiliated locations, material resources and personnel have been verified. Main premise of this project was that using primitive temporal tunneling algorithms, a temporal anomaly could be created linking a fixed-state terminus in the past to a current fluid-state terminus.
+
Research began in December 1956 and continued through to 1965, culminating in one operational test on 01-03-1966, using an early prototype. SCP-2451-1 indicates this test yielded no discernible result, and funding was cut in July 1966, ending any further research. SCP-2451-1 was honorably discharged in the aftermath of the project's disbanding. SCP-2451-1's responses to questions on Project Restful Sleep and the operational test, and neurological examinations performed on SCP-2451-1, indicate the administration of primitive amnestics. These were not 100% effective however, and SCP-2451-1 has been in possession of most of his memories since 1973.
+
SCP-2451-1 indicates the first instance of SCP-2451-2 appeared approximately 7 months after his honorable discharge.
+
Addendum 2451-A-01:Disappearance of SCP-2451 Post-Serapis
+
On 2016-11-02 00:00:31, security footage shows SCP-2451-2#14 abruptly appearing inside SCP-2451-1's HACC. Both SCP-2451-2#14 and SCP-2451-1 show signs of extreme distress, at which point the feed is interrupted by static for approximately 1.4 seconds. Footage then shows SCP-2451-1 HACC to be completely empty. SCP-2451 and SCP-2451-2#14 are at this point presumed to have entered SCP-2451. Their locations are currently unknown.
+
After this event, emergence events have become more frequent, and have posed a higher threat to Site security than Pre-Serapis. Suggestions for the escalation of this project's containment procedures are currently being evaluated by its current Project Lead.
+
Addendum 2451-A-02:Recovery and preliminary containment notes
+
SCP-2451, SCP-2451-1 were recovered from the Sunshine Villa Assisted Living Complex in Santa Cruz, CA on 08-07-2009 after the new owners of his previous residence found human and non-human remains in the backyard of their property. Field Agents embedded in the Santa Cruz Police Department steered uniformed units away from the scene and coordinated the deployment of Foundation assets to isolate witnesses, handle the administration of amnestics, and control traffic.
+
SCP-2451-2#14 was found on 10-03-2009, sleeping in a car at a Walmart parking lot in Santa Cruz, CA. It was recovered by a Foundation extraction team after patrolling police officers ran her ID. SCP-2451-2#14 was homeless and living under the assumed identity of Ethel McAllister.
+
Addendum 2451-A-03:Excerpts from interviews with SCP-2451-1
+
+
Log date: 08-08-2009
+Interviewer: Dr. A. E. M. Gunther (AG)
+Interviewed: SCP-2451-1
+
AG: So tell me Mr. Gustowski, do you have any idea why you're here?
+
SCP-2451-1: Sure do. I'm going to guess it has something to do with what I buried in my backyard before those asshole bankers foreclosed on my home.
+
AG: Right. Are you aware of the nature of the bodies we exhumed?
+
SCP-2451-1: Kinda hard not to be, son. One of those things had a beak the size of my entire arm, and about twice as wide. Sharp too, I got the scars right here. [subject begins to pull up the sleeve of his coverall]
+
AG: That's fine, Mr. Gustowski, I believe you. So, why didn't you report this when they appeared?
+
SCP-2451-1: [subject leans across the table and raises his eyebrows] And what would the police have said if I'd told them an 8' birdman appeared behind me out of thin air and attacked me?
+
AG: You have a point.
+
SCP-2451-1: [laughs] So did that beak, son.
+
+
+
Log date: 08-13-2009
+Interviewer: Dr. E. L. Ehrles (EE)
+Interviewed: SCP-2451-1
+
EE: Good morning, Mr. Gustowski. I'll be conducting your interview this morning. I trust you've slept well?
+
SCP-2451-1: Wasn't much worse than that damned assisted living center. When you're my age, your idea of captivity is a lot better than the cardboard mattresses and unidentifiable slop I got treated to there.
+
EE: Yes, well. Today I want to ask you about your time with what you refer to as Project Restful Sleep.
+
SCP-2451-1: Fire away, son.
+
EE: Thank you. You previously told my colleague the project involved some manner of temporal manipulation, but that it didn't work as intended. Can you elaborate and what the goals of the project were exactly?
+
SCP-2451-1: Didn't I already tell your colleague? They [ed. Gen. Bowe] wanted me to go back and kill Hitler. I told 'em they were crazy, but you know how it is in the Army, when they say jump…anyway, didn't work neither, so that was that.
+
EE: Ah, I must have missed that in my colleague's notes. And it didn't work you say. What went wrong?
+
SCP-2451-1: Son, do I look like I have any fucking clue what went wrong? I was just the hired help, the guy who stood very still while all those expensive piece of shit machines hummed and whizzed around me. All I can tell you is that it didn't work. I just stood there waiting for something and it never came.
+
EE: Right. And then you were honorably discharged?
+
SCP-2451-1: That's the gist of it. Couldn't remember much either, but a few weeks later I started dreaming about it, and a few more weeks after that the memories'd come back. Don't know what they did, but they weren't very good at it if you ask me. Anyway, wasn't long after that when Big Bird showed up.
+
EE: Right, SCP-2451-2#1.
+
SCP-2451-1: If you say so, son. I call him Big Bird, you can call him whatever you want.
+
+
+
Log date: 10-09-2009
+Interviewer: Dr. E. L. Ehrles (EE)
+Interviewed: SCP-2451-1
+
EE: [shows SCP-2451-1 a picture of SCP-2451-2#14] Mr. Gustowski, what can you tell us about this entity?
+
SCP-2451-1: She's here, Ethel's here? You'd better not have harmed her, not even a goddamn hair, you hear?!
+
EE: She's not Ethel, Mr. Gustowski, and we haven't harmed her. We know you're married, though you pretended to be single during your stay at the assisted living home. Why is that?
+
SCP-2451-1: Goddamn you government bastards. Yeah, Ethel's my wife. Why the hell do you think I didn't want anyone to know we were married? I had a ton of weird shit buried in that backyard, and I got kicked out before I could remove it. I figured it was only a matter of time before somebody came looking for me, and I wasn't gonna let you assholes treat her like a freak. She was better off in my truck until she could get somewhere safe. Thought you'd be satisfied with me and that damn portal thing I have stuck to my ass.
+
EE: We screened her, Mr. Gustowski. She came through SCP-2451, didn't she?
+
SCP-2451-1: Yeah, she did. [pauses] It was a summer day in 1975, hot and sweaty like a badger's ass. Prettiest thing I'd ever seen since a long time too. Had a hard time explaining I wasn't the guy she was sent to kill, though. Had to disarm her and take her down before she'd listen to reason. What can I say? I'm a romantic at heart. [pauses]
+
EE: Go on.
+
SCP-2451-1: Anyway, we found out she couldn't go back, so I hid her away in the house. Eventually we figured it'd be easier if we got married, so she wouldn't have to stay inside all the time.
+
EE: Are you aware she's only superficially human?
+
SCP-2451-1: Son, my heart doesn't give a shit about that, and neither should you. Listen, you win, you got her, now don't be an asshole and at least let us live together.
+
EE: I'll consider putting in the request with your project's lead.
+
+
+
Bibliography
+
1. Xyank, T.; Anastasakos, A - Stable anchoring of temporal anomalies within the extant space-time continuum using Weinberg-Magnusson seals, █████ ████, 2nd edition Scientific Critics Press, 2023.
Special Containment Procedures: Each instance of SCP-2463 is to be kept in a separate standard containment locker at Site-19. At no point should any instance of SCP-2463 come into contact with any other instance of SCP-2463. Access to single instances of SCP-2463 is restricted to personnel with security clearance of 3 or higher, and access to multiple instances is not permitted at this time.
+
Any personnel found attempting to remove any number of SCP-2463 instances from designated testing rooms are to be immediately detained and held for questioning.
+
Description: SCP-2463 is a set of six bronze horses, each approximately 6 cm tall, and believed to be Ancient Roman in origin. Various dating methods have placed the creation of SCP-2463 at circa 250 CE. SCP-2463’s anomalous properties begin to manifest when instances are exposed to water collected from naturally occurring sources1. SCP-2463 instances that are exposed to any such water, will begin converting the water into petroleum through an unknown process. This conversion takes place at a rate of approximately 63 mL per hour.
+
If separate instances of SCP-2463 come into physical contact, this conversion rate will scale exponentially with the number of instances, so that when all six instances are in contact, the conversion will occur at a rate of approximately 62,523,502 L per hour, allowing large volumes of water to be converted very quickly.
+
SCP-2463 was discovered during a raid on a storage facility in ███████, New York, which was believed to be owned by Marshall, Carter and Dark LLP. The raid was conducted by Mobile Task Force Mu-3 (“Highest Bidders”), and resulted in recovery of SCP-2463 as well as SCP-2635 and SCP-1738, along with several documents and items currently awaiting cataloging.
+
MTF-M3 was discovered during their mission, and as a result, several Foundation personnel were killed in the course of duty. SCP-2463 was briefly activated during recovery, but was successfully contained by remaining MTF-M3 operatives.
+
For further information on the recovery of SCP-2463, consult Recovery Log-2463.
+
Addendum-2463-1: In addition to SCP-2463, MTF-M3 also recovered a Marshall, Carter and Dark item listing for the object. This document has been designated as Document-2463-1.
+
Addendum-2463-2: Found with Document-2463-1 was a transcript of a letter believed to have been translated from ancient Latin, written to the Roman Emperor Gallienus2 by an as of yet unidentified person. For a transcript of this letter, see below.
To Imperator Publius Licinius Egnatius Gallienus Augustus
+
We are deeply saddened to learn of the death of your great father, and write to you in order to settle a pressing matter of business left unresolved by the venerable emperor.
+
Shortly after his capture at Edessa by Shahansha Shapur, your father wrote to Us from Bishapur, seeking aid on behalf of The Empire. On his request, We have procured a number of items that we believe met the needs he expressed.
+
We will happily pass along these items to you, so long as We are paid the price that was arranged by your honorable father, that being a sum of 60,000,000 Aurei. We are aware that the price seems extreme, but so were the demands of your father.
+
"A force to wipe out the Persian dogs. To make barren their lands, and sickly their people. A force to destroy every square foot on which they have ever walked and to plague their kingdom with bloodshed for millennia."
+
These were the feats required of us by the deific Valerianus, and for this power We must ask for equal renumeration.
+
Should you decide not to pay, We shall retain possession of the items until a time when We are payed what We have asked.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2534-1 instances that have not passed their two-year mark are to be kept in Containment Wing 14 of Site-32, individually wrapped in plastic and organized by their estimated recovery date. SCP-2534-1E is also to be contained in this manner.
+Only D-Class personnel are to handle, sort, and arrange these instances, to ensure no personnel are accidentally affected.
+
A week prior to an SCP-2534-1 instance's estimated two-year mark, it is to be held by a D-Class personnel to ensure ownership is transferred, then placed in a smaller temporary containment locker until the D-class experiences the anomalous effect. This D-class is subsequently prohibited from testing any currency-related SCPs.
+
SCP-2534-1 instances that have manifested their anomalous effect are considered inert and are to be kept in a standard containment crate in Containment Wing 15 of Site-32. Inert instances may be used for testing at the consent of one Level 3 or higher researcher. Future uses have been proposed and are pending approval.
+
Due to unpredictability of SCP-2534 occurrence, retrieval of SCP-2534-1 directly from manifestation is not feasible with current resources. An advertising campaign under the guise of a US mint recall of SCP-2534-1's characteristic "printing error" is ongoing. Social media websites and applications are to also be tracked to identify SCP-2534-1 instances. Bank owners, government officials, US mint employees, and other individuals legally involved in handling large amounts of currency are to be closely monitored for possibility of SCP-2534-1 acquisition.
+
Upon confirming location of an SCP-2534-1 instance, Mobile Task Force Rho-7 ("Ford's Theatre") will be dispatched for retrieval. The date of original acquisition (or a rough estimate thereof) is to be acquired from subject in possession, and Class C amnestics are to be administered where necessary. Expanded Eurozone retrieval procedures are being prepared should any more instances of SCP-2534-1E be discovered.
+
Subjects who have experienced the anomalous effects of SCP-2534-1 are to be administered Class B amnestics and detained in Site-32-B. They are not to come into contact with any currency.
+Current global surveillance systems are to identify possible subjects by monitoring unusual circumstances such as cash disappearing, strange robberies, or other incidents.
+
Description: SCP-2534 is a phenomenon which results in the manifestation of SCP-2534-1.
+
SCP-2534 occurs only almost always (see Addendum 2) in the United States1, and only in areas commonly traversed on foot, such as sidewalks, parking lots, or the floors of public buildings. SCP-2534 manifestations have never been directly witnessed or recorded.
+
Instances of SCP-2534-1 are United States pennies, in most cases2 identical to current pennies. However, the printed minting year of SCP-2534-1 instances is always two years ahead of the year of original recovery. Instances display limited destructibility3.
+
SCP-2534-1's anomalous effect will manifest exactly two years after it is first retrieved4. At that time, the coin's current owner will lose all United States currency on their person, property5, or otherwise in their possession, with the exception of instances of SCP-2534-1 and non-physical currency such as bank balances or credit cards. Property loss usually occurs via theft, loss, or sudden expenses, each of which usually appear non-anomalous in nature. Any new US currency acquired by the subject is lost in a similar manner shortly after acquisition.
+
This effect makes it impossible for an affected subject to handle or use any United States legal tender, and does not cease until the death of the subject.
+
SCP-2534-1 ownership can be transferred among persons. SCP-2534-1 being given, stolen, used as legal tender, or otherwise handled by another person are all valid methods of transfer. If a subject loses SCP-2534-1, but it is not handled by another individual, that subject remains the current owner. Ownership cannot be transferred to animals, corpses, those already owning an instance of SCP-2534-1, or those who have already received SCP-2534-1's effect.
+
After the subject has experienced SCP-2534-1's anomalous effect, the instance will become inert and cease any anomalous activity.
Subject: D-103122
+Note: D-103122 has received SCP-2534-1's effect, and will be used to test the effect's parameters.
+Procedure: D-103122 is given a dollar ($1.00 USD) and is instructed to hold on to it for as long as possible.
+Results: D-103122 placed the dollar in her pocket. When the pocket was checked again, a hole had opened in the bottom of it, and the dollar was not present.
+
+
Test 2
+
+
Subject: D-103122
+Procedure: A nickel ($0.05 USD) is taped to D-103122's arm using transparent tape.
+Results: D-103122 complained that the tape was too tight. When attempting to loosen it, the nickel fell out and rolled into a nearby grate. D-103122 was unable to retrieve the nickel. Repeated tests all resulted in D-103122 losing the nickel, despite any changed variables.
+
+
Test 3
+
+
Subject: D-103122
+Procedure: D-103122 is given $1.00 USD, $1.00 CAD, ¥100 JPY, £1.00 GBP, €1.00 EUR, and 元5.00 CNY. D-103122 was then instructed to hold onto all the currency.
+Results: D-103122 placed all currency in her other pocket. When the pocket was checked again, another hole was present in the bottom, but all currency remained except for the $1.00 USD.
+
+
Test 4
+
+
Procedure: A quarter ($0.25 USD) is surgically inserted underneath the skin in D-103122's leg.
+ResultsThe quarter remained in D-103122's leg. At the time of writing, it has not been lost.
+"It seems that the effect will not persist if the money in question is not readily available to D-103122. More tests to determine the limits of this effect have been approved." Dr. █████ Two weeks later, D-103122 underwent testing with SCP-███. During the testing, SCP-████ wounded her leg, breaking the skin and releasing the quarter. D-103122 was then quickly evacuated from the testing chamber.
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum, Incident 2534-S: On █/██/████, the ███ █████ Bank of ██████████ was robbed by 4 unidentified individuals. The entirety of the approximate $██.█ million dollars the bank had in storage was stolen. When investigated, J███ S████, the owner of the bank, was confirmed to own an instance of SCP-2534-1. The instance was retrieved, and Mr. S████ was administered amnestics and relocated to Site 32-B.
+
Containment procedures were re-written post incident to ensure that no facilities or personnel important to the U.S. economy are affected by SCP-2534-1.
+
Addendum 2: On ██/█/2015, a thread was made on ██████ (a popular image sharing website) on the topic of a "misprinted Euro" the poster had discovered. In the thread, an image was included of a 1 Euro cent coin printed with the year 2017. The IP was traced to ███████, France, and MTF-Rho-7 was dispatched to retrieve the instance, now designated SCP-2534-1E.
+
SCP-2534-1E was retrieved without error, date of retrieval was confirmed, and Class-C amnestics were administered to the subject. SCP-2534-1E has retained the same physical properties as a normal SCP-2534-1 instance (see Footnote 3), and it is assumed that it will have the same eventual effect as well.
+
No other instances of SCP-2534-1E have since been reported or discovered.
Special Containment Procedures: Access to any documentation or knowledge about SCP-2559 is to be provided only with the express permission of Biological Research Area 91's Site Director or two members of the O5 Council. Individuals accessing this document must consent to any containment procedures deemed necessary by the Site Director, including (but not limited to) internment for a minimum of 9 days and testing of blood and cerebrospinal fluid at any time after first reading.
+
Instances of SCP-2559-1 are to be contained at Biological Research Area 91 in standard humanoid containment cells. Instances are to be kept alive by any means, following Procedure 555-Vineyard. On-site staff are required to report any unusually coloured patches of skin, rashes or joint pain. Staff are also required to submit regular blood samples to pathology, with no more than five days between each sample. Failure to meet this deadline, or attempting to cheat any medical test, is grounds for immediate demotion and cautionary internment in accordance with site quarantine procedures.
+
A containment team, MTF-Upsilon-4 ("Sugar Pill") is to be maintained and dispatched immediately to any suspected breakouts of SCP-2559. υ-4 is to be trained in relevant antimemetic and biohazard containment procedures and the current Commander briefed on the nature of SCP-2559 before dispatch. Following containment, all surviving members of υ-4 are to be treated with amnestics and tests on cerebrospinal fluid performed after a four-day containment period. Members of υ-4 are not under any circumstances to retain memories of the nature of SCP-2559, past missions or inactive teammates. Any deemed infected are to be reclassed as an instance of SCP-2559-1 and brought to Biological Research Area 91 for containment (- Those infected in the line of duty are to be terminated unless the number of infected in Biological Research Area 91 has dropped below critical levels - Ethics Committee).
+
Description: SCP-2559 is a fatal viral infection and cognitohazard: Individuals believing themselves to have been infected by SCP-2559 will in all cases actually become infected. These individuals are reclassified SCP-2559-1. No non-anomalous transmission method of SCP-2559 is known.
+
SCP-2559 virions can be found in the blood within the first two days of infection, and in the cerebrospinal fluid within the first five hours of infection. Autopsy of the recently deceased indicates that the virions are produced along with new cerebrospinal fluid in the choroid plexuses.
+
Common symptoms resembling a non-anomalous infection include:
+
+
Increased intracranial pressure (hydrocephaly) leading to tunnel vision and convulsive episodes. In extreme cases, can cause mental disability, stroke and death.
+
Restriction of blood supply to various organs/tissues (ischemia) leading to tissue necrosis and gangrene. Extreme cases can cause strokes.
+
Extreme negative reactions to various substances: water, food, sun, heat, cold, various medications and anaesthetics.
+
A number of pigmentation disorders, most commonly segmental vitiligo1.
+
+
None of these symptoms have appeared in all subjects, nor is this a full list of symptoms presented.
+
Infection has thus far shown a 100% mortality rate, with continuous medical treatment (following Procedure 555-Vineyard) serving to extend life expectancy from 3-4 months up to five years in ideal patients. Prior to 1995, SCP-2559 followed a predictable infection cycle, with outbreaks every 3-4 years. It has not yet been determined how or where these outbreaks begin, or if there is any pattern to the locations affected.
+
The first confirmed outbreak of SCP-2559 occurred in the town of Dingle, Ireland in 1928. Despite the death of 43 civilians in this instance, the outbreak was deemed non-anomalous by investigating agents until linked to a similar breakout in Siglufjörður, Iceland in 1933, where agents discovered the virus' memetic properties (See Incident Report 2559-1). Due to a number of similar traits, it is believed that a case of mass hysteria in Wellstead, Australia (now Bremer Bay) in July 1889 may be the first recorded breakout of SCP-2559.
+
Relevant Incidents:
+
Incident Report 2559-1:
+
On 01/12/1933, during initial containment in Siglufjörður, Iceland, three Junior Researchers were found to have been infected and redesignated SCP-2559-1. Instances placed in humanoid containment along with standard quarantine procedures. Following the return to Site-91, 12 further researchers were found to have become infected. The spread of rumours within the facility lead to rapid spread of infection among site staff. On 05/12/1933, site was placed under quarantine after testing showed more than 20% of the staff had been infected.
At 0533, 09/12/1933, Site-19's radio control room began to broadcast the following unauthorized message to Site-91:
+
+
SCP2559 IS A MEMETAC BAZARD - REPEAT PHRAIE 'MENDACIUM NON VERUM' TO ACTI<AA>ATE RECWRSIVE MEMETIC INOCULATION. REPEAT TO ARL IN XUARANTINEP TELL THM IT WILL KEEP TFEM SAFE. TELL THEM 100 PER CENT EFFEGTIVENEIS. TELL THEM O5 COUNCIL SENDS THIS. MAKE SURE ALL KNKW TIEY ARE PROTECTED NOW<CT> THEY ARE SWFE. IT IR SAFE. A<AA>L IS SA
+
+
At 0535, Site-19 security apprehended Senior Researcher Owen O'Dwyer (3-19-1025) in the radio control room and prevented him from finishing his message. Two weeks prior, Dr. O'Dwyer had gained unauthorised access to Document 2559-I-2 (Research Log, Anomaly 4475 under Investigation, November 6th 1933, Huever et al) and identified the infection's spread pattern as matching Memetic Spread Model M-13-55, to a four-sigma accuracy. O'Dwyer believed he could save the lives of uninfected personnel within the Site 19 quarantine by convincing them they were memetically inoculated. O'Dwyer has been put on indefinite suspension pending review by the Site-19 board.
+
Addendum 1: The phrase "MENDACIUM NON VERUM" has not been found in any databases to act as a memetic trigger and O'Dwyer admits to its use as a placebo. In light of this, O'Dwyer's reprimand has been reduced to a three-month suspension. Dr. Sigríður Levísdóttir (3-19-995), who provided O'Dwyer with a number of unauthorised documents, has had her employment terminated effective immediately.
+
Addendum 2: Following testing which confirms Dr. O'Dwyer's hypothesis and the subsequent establishment of effective containment protocols saving the lives of almost 200 researchers, O'Dwyer has been nominated for promotion to Co-Director of Site 91 upon his return to work.
+
+
As of 23/05/1950, Dr. O'Dwyer has been redesignated SCP-2559-1-74 and should be referred to as such in all documentation. Its history does not warrant a break of protocol. We know in retrospect that use of placebo memetic inoculation can do more harm than good. While SCP-2559-1-74's actions happened to be successful in this instance, it should not encourage other researchers to act similarly rashly. - 4-91-4
+
+
+
+
+
Incident Report 2559-36:
+
25/12/1995 - At 04:17, Nurse Profio (1-91-753) reports dizziness and confusion in three contained instances. At 05:07, SCP-2559-1-155 suffers major seizure and dies - stroke is later attributed to undiagnosed hydrocephaly. At 05:10, SCP-2559-1-139 and SCP-2559-1-147 also suffer fatal stroke. Dr. Rammelkamp (2-91-500) and Dr. Krynick (2-91-549) are called from their sleeping quarters to assist with treating patients as six more instances suffer stroke. Between 05:12 and 05:43, all contained instances suffer major hydrocephalic stroke. Dr. Rammelkamp and Dr. Krynick succeed in saving three instances through emergency fluid drainage procedures. At 06:55, all three living instances suffer major cardiac arrest and die.
+
26/12/1995 - An unscheduled outbreak occurs in Chenggong, Taiwan. MTF υ-4 perform a successful containment with 153 civilian casualties and 30 sur2559ng instances of SCP-2559-1. In light of the apparent link between unprecedented total loss of contained instances and unscheduled breakout, Procedure 555-Vineyard is proposed and implemented following review by the Ethics Committee.
+
Incident Report 2559-40:
+SCP-2559-1-395, formerly Junior Researcher Sai, was noted to have developed unusually patterned pigmentation on the back of its left hand. Instance was revived from a medical coma for interview.
Date: 29/10/2013
+Interviewed: SCP-2559-1-489
+Interviewer: Junior Researcher Ken Jonah (2-91-355)
+Foreword: Instance suffers aphasia as a result of left-brain stroke (see Medical Report 2559-1-489-7). Dr. Nguyen, who who specialises in speech and language therapy, sits in to assist and translate.
+
Dr. Jonah: Good morning, SCP-2559-1-498.
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Eye. Eyes. My… aim. Mmmname.
+
SCP-2559-1-489 shakes its head
+
Dr. Jonah: Your name?
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Yuh. Eyes.
+
Dr. Nguyen: Its name is Vihaan Sai, Ken. It would be reasonable to use that instead of its designation, here. No use hindering communication even further.
+
Dr. Jonah: Right, yes. Vihaan, do you remember that you were infected with SCP-2559 in January of 2013?
+
SCP-2559-1-489 nods slowly
+
SCP-2559-1-489: I go to biro. Birus.
+
Dr. Jonah: Good. Thank you. You've been, uh, sleeping since then. Big sleep.
+
Dr. Nguyen: Don't talk down to it, Ken. It understands what you're saying, just keep your sentence structure basic.
+
Dr. Jonah: Right, right. My apologies, Vihaan.
+
SCP-2559-1-489 gives a thumbs up gesture
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Ogay. It's… ogay.
+
Dr. Jonah produces a diagram of 489's hand markings
+
Dr. Jonah: Vihaan, does this diagram mean anything to you?
+
SCP-2559-1-149 nods enthusiastically
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Yah! And the… uhhh… Duck. Mnnn… duck.
+
SCP-2559-1-489 gestures, bringing its hands together and opening them upward
+
Dr. Jonah: Book? This is from a book?
+
SCP-2559-1-489 nods
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Duck. For mmmy famistry.
+
Dr. Jonah: Famistry?
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Yus. Uhh, mmno. Mmmn, ny…
+
SCP-2559-1-489 raises its hand, beginning to gesture to it. It notices the markings on its hand and exclaims. It attempts to stand from its wheelchair and falls to the ground
+
[UNIMPORTANT DIALOGUE REMOVED]
+
Dr. Nguyen: Are you comfortable continuing the interview, Vihaan?
+
489 nods
+
Dr. Jonah: That's wonderful, Vihaan, thank you. Could you try to tell me what you were saying before? Something about family?
+
SCP-2559-1-489 shakes its head, then points to its palm
Dr. Jonah: That's very good, Vihaan. Thank you very much.
+
Dr. Jonah turns to speak toward security camera
+
Dr. Jonah: Guys, do we have her stuff anywhere?
+
SCP-2559-1-489's personal effects are retrieved from Storage Locker 17 and brought to the interview room. With some assistance, SCP-2559-1-489 retrieves a copy of Basics of Palmistry, Vol. 5 (Five Towers Publishing, 2005) and opens it to page 49
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Say mmmn. They wuh… same.
+
SCP-2559-1-489 lays its hand over a diagram of a hand on page 49. Locations of important lines, symbols and areas in diagram correlate exactly to markings on SCP-2559-1-489's hand
+
SCP-2559-1-489: Same.
+
SCP-2559-1-489 begins to cry
+
[INTERVIEWER CHOSE TO END INTERVIEW AT THIS TIME]
+
+
Notes: Examination of the 12 other instances at the time revealed warping of Blaschko's lines to form patterns in 4 instances. As these patterns appear to follow the patterning of their hospital gowns, policy has been updated to include plain clothing for instances and medical personnel working in Site 91.
+
Shortly after receiving its thiopental injection, SCP-2559-1-489 suffered a fatal cardiac arrest. This has been attributed to stress resulting from its revival.
+
+
+
+
Incident Report 2559-41:
+A breakout in Mystic, Connecticut went unnoticed for almost a month, in part due to unusually subtle initial symptoms - most citizens believed it to be the common cold. On 6/12/13, Ernie Becker, the town doctor, contacted the CDC to report a highly infectious illness with severely sudden onset of fatal symptoms, with 80-90% of the townspeople infected. Foundation watchdogs picked up the activity and MTF υ-4 were activated.
Interviewed: Samuel Barnes (MTF-υ-4-37)
+Interviewer: Dr. Lloyd Quaile (3-91-102)
+Time/Date: 01:00 AM, 9/12/2013
+
<Begin Log>
+
Dr. Quaile: Alright, Private, I just need to get your debrief and then I'll be out of your hair. How are you feeling? Do you need anything sent to your room?
+
Pvt. Barnes: No thank you, Doctor. I'd like to just get this over with. I mean, no offense, just-
+
Dr. Quaile: None taken. Let's start at the beginning - your landing was somewhat unusual?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Yeah, it was. We couldn't find anywhere within the town to land all the choppers, so Commander Steele instructed us in Chopper Three to land in the town square and work outward while the rest of them set down in a field about five klicks out, set up a perimeter. Wasn't any chain of command between us, so Steele put me in charge, I guess for previous experience. Stuff was pretty quiet when we landed. I don't remember seeing anyone around until after we'd set up the bio gear and headed out.
+
Dr. Quaile: Bio gear?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Y'know - hazmat suits, shit like that. Goddamn heavy stuff. Chief Medical told us it was only a precautionary measure, but better safe than sorry, I guess.
+
Dr. Quaile: Couldn't agree more, Samuel. What did you see once you did set out?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Stiffs, mostly. A good number of homeless folks who hadn't made it through the night. Handful of brave souls who's tried to make it through work while everyone took a sick day. I had Hide and Beef on bagging duty, so I didn't get a good look, but a lot of them looked like their necks were all swollen up.
+
Dr. Quaile: That's consistent with the medical report. Many instances presented with goitres this wave.
+
Pvt. Barnes: Goitres, yeah. Heard Hodgeson mention that, the med guy. Goy -turs. Shouldn't the S be silent?
+
Dr. Quaile: The debrief, Private Barnes.
+
Pvt. Barnes: Yessir. We, uh, we found some live ones too, once we started knocking down doors. Some of them only barely hanging on. Lots of places we found trashed - food all over the kitchens, paper covering the floors. We couldn't figure out why. Guess it makes sense now. All the quarantine pods were with the other team, so we just escorted the ones who could walk to the rendezvous point while Hodgeson and the bagging crew stretchered those who couldn't back to the town square.
+
Dr. Quaile: And it was on the way to the rendezvous when you noticed the library, yes?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Uh huh. Frogger heard it first, I think. Big commotion coming from around there. I decided we'd bring the infected to the rendezvous first, then head over. Turned out they were right beside each other, anyway. I radio'd it in and Steele gave me the all clear, since they were still about two klicks out. I left Macks and Epi to keep an eye on the infected, brought Frogger, Drip and Iggsie with me to investigate.
+
Barnes pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath
+
Pvt. Barnes: It was chaos when we went in. Must have been two, three hundred civilians there, all obviously infected. They were fighting each other over the books. Physically attacking each other. The number of bodies on the ground, not all of them died from the infection, you know?
+
Dr. Quaile: What were they doing with the books, once they had them?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Eating them. Fucking gorging themselves. Ripping out pages and shoving them in their mouths. Those who weren't fighting were grabbing scraps from the floor, chewing on discarded covers. I don't get it, doctor - we were told this infection didn't affect behaviour.
+
Dr. Quaile: Let's just continue with the interview, Private.
+
Barnes mutters something unintelligible
+
Pvt. Barnes: Jesus, yeah, let's get this over with.
+
Dr. Quaile: Let's.
+
Pvt. Barnes: Initially things went well, I guess. The activity seemed to be centred around a big pile of books in the middle. There was an infected, a big dude, fighting off anyone who came near. I'd say he was late twenties, early thirties. We decided to deal with the rest of the infected first, thin them out. A lot of the weaker ones we were able to just drag out. Couple required more coersion, some chloroform. Chloroform didn't work on all of them, so Frogger and I ended up restraining a lot of them. Everything went wrong when Drip had the bright idea to tell them there were more books outside. Caused a damn stampede. I got Iggsie and Drip to head outside with the horde, try to corral them toward the rendezvous. I was hoping Steele and the rest would have arrived by then, could deal with it. Frogger must have misheard because he headed out too, through a window. Fucking Frogger.
+
Dr. Quaile: And you were left alone, with the infected?
+
Pvt. Barnes: It wasn't too bad, honestly. I kept out of the way and they mostly ignored me. A couple of them asked me for help, I just told them they'd find it outside. When the dust cleared… Well, there was only one infected left to deal with. The big guy. Didn't seem like he'd even noticed the stampede. Took a swing at me when I approached, though, crossed whatever line in the sand he'd established. I decided to play it safe, tranq him before things got nasty. That went ok - I think he sprained my wrist, but small beans, really.
+
Barnes rubs his right wrist, takes a few moments before continuing
+
Pvt. Barnes: When he eventually fell, though, I heard something. Someone. Under the pile of books. I started digging, found a young woman. I'd estimate eighteen, nineteen. Obviously in distress. It looked like she'd, uh, like she'd pissed herself at some point. When she saw the big guy on the ground, she started screaming, attacked me…
+
Dr. Quaile: Private Ingwar - Iggsie - reported that you weren't fighting back when she found you.
+
Pvt. Barnes: I couldn't, doctor. I froze. She wasn't wearing much, just a nightgown, you could tell-
+
Dr. Quaile: Yes?
+
Pvt. Barnes: You could tell she was pregnant. I just couldn't.
+
Dr. Quaile: Your record shows you've successfully subdued pregnant women before. Mkwiro, Kenya?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Yeah, but this woman… I couldn't help wondering - what if it had been my wife? My kid?
+
Dr. Quaile: You don't have a wife or child, Private.
+
Pvt. Barnes: I - Right, yeah. No, of course not, just - I don't know, I guess I wasn't thinking straight. This woman, she wasn't that strong, but she managed to tackle me to the ground, get my hood off. When Iggsie came in, she had no choice but to treat me as exposed - not that I'm saying she'd have tried to cover it, or anything.
+
Dr. Quaile: You don't feel any resentment toward her? Feelings of betrayal?
+
Barnes frowns and hesitates before answering
+
Pvt. Barnes: It is what it is. I'd have done the same. Like I said before, better safe than sorry.
+
Dr. Quaile: I suppose I still agree. Would you be alright talking about your experience in quarantine?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Yeah, of course. You wanna hear about the markings, right?
+
Dr. Quaile: Yes, but tell me about quarantine first. Did you feel you were treated correctly?
+
Pvt. Barnes: Perfectly. Everyone followed protocol to the letter. They noticed me, obviously, but nobody panicked or tried to rush me through. Processed me like all the other infected. I went through with the same batch as the woman, though she was pretty out of it - I guess Iggsie had hit her pretty hard with the dopey gas. When they got us to strip, I noticed what I thought was a birthmark on her, uh, left breast. I didn't wanna, y'know, stare, but it definitely looked unusual. It was only when I got into the pen that I noticed another guy with the exact same mark, just left of the thingy, the sternum. It was the fucking, y'know…
+
Barnes makes a circle motion in the air with his finger, but does not continue
+
Dr. Quaile: Please tell me what you saw, in your own words.
+
Barnes rocks in his seat, agitated.
+
Dr. Quaile: Private, are you going to answer my-
+
Pvt. Barnes: The logo, doctor!
+
Barnes pulls off his hospital gown over his head. He stands and walks towards the partition pointing towards the marking on his chest. It resembles a circle with three equally spaced arrows pointed inwards.
Dr. Quaile: I see. How many infected persons would you say had this mark?
+
Pvt. Barnes: All of them. Every last one.
+
Dr. Quaile: Interview is ended at this time.
+
Barnes folds his hands over his knees and remains silent for three minutes. Quaile organises his notes and places them in his briefcase. He removes his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. Quaile shuts off his mic, triggering hidden mics within the room to continue recording.
+
Dr. Quaile: Samuel… I just want to say I'm sorry about your situation. I know it's-
+
Pvt. Barnes: You fucking should be sorry.
+
Dr. Quaile: Samuel -
+
Pvt. Barnes: No, don't play like you're my friend. I've read the fucking file. Two-five-five-nine. Steele showed it to me, was trying to reassure me everything would be alright if I just calmed the fuck down. Didn't realise it only meant I was more fucked, that I'd been fucked from the second that girl pulled my headgear off. It's like - when you were a kid, did you ever get scared of dogs? I was terrified of them when I was growing up.
+
Dr. Quaile: My neighbour had a pitbull, treated it badly. I would take a longer route to school so as to avoid it barking at me.
+
Pvt. Barnes: Right, yeah. And I'll bet at some point a parent or teacher said the stupidest thing ever - that as long as you weren't scared of them, they wouldn't attack, because they could smell your fear. Smell your fear. What kid hears that and doesn't instantly shit their pants? That's what it's like with this thing. Who gets told you don't need to be worried about infection and doesn't immediately worry, in some small stupid corner of their mind? That's where it gets you. Those tiny background worries. It slips in through the cracks. I know we're not supposed to personify it, but… it feels intelligent, doesn't it? Prowling, poking at little fucking fishing towns and villages, letting the rest of us crumble under our own recursive insecurity. When was the last time someone just retired from this site?
+
There is a long silence in the room lasting almost two minutes.
+
Pvt. Barnes: You know, I don't remember that woman. In Mkwiro. I've never talked about that before. I have all these patches in my memory, and that mission is the biggest by far. I get flashes, sometimes, nightmares - her standing over me with my biohazard suit, pushing me into quarantine instead of the other way around. So much of that time in my life is… fuzzy. My friends on the squad said I'd changed afterward, seemed lonelier even when we were all together. I figured it was PTSD or something, my own shit to deal with. Thought that's why they transferred me to υ-4 - everyone knows we haven't had a mission in decades. Cushy detail for softies.
+
Barnes stands and presses his face against the partition, clenching his fists.
+
Pvt. Barnes: But that's not true, is it? Because I saw the file. Dozens of missions. All places I'd been with other teams. Sesimbra, Chenggong, Kaliningrad…
+
Dr. Quaile: Samuel, I-
+
Pvt. Barnes: Mkwiro.
+
Dr. Quaile: I promise you it was necessary, Samuel. The number of MTF members we lost before we implemented these protocols-
+
Pvt. Barnes: It was you. The glorious fucking Foundation. Of course it was necessary. Of course it was for the best. You think I don't realise that? It doesn't mean I can't hate you for it. Who was the woman?
+
Dr. Quaile: I'm so sorry, Samuel.
+
Pvt. Barnes:Who was the woman, Quaile?
+
Dr. Quaile: Medical will be through shortly with the results of your blood tests.
+
[END OF INTERVIEW]
+
+
Addendum: Following examination of this transcript, the Amnestics Committee believes there is evidence to suggest MTF-υ-4-37 SCP-2559-1-555 was hindered in action due to improperly wiped memories of Corporal Tanya Barnes (SCP-2559-1-408). The Ethics Committee has authorised an update of amnestic procedures on MTF-υ-4 members to encapsulate romantic, sexual and paternal feelings associated with deceased teammates, effective as of 15/12/2015.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2647 is impossible to fully contain, but efforts should be particularly focused on blocking online advertisements and encouraging the adoption of digital media over that of newspapers and phonebooks. All analog instances of SCP-2647-A are to be reported and forcibly redacted as inconspicuously as possible.
+
All discovered SCP-2647-B instances are to be maintained in isolation. (see Addendum-2647-1) withheld with non-lethal force, if necessary, and made to call the provided SCP-2647 number to end their policies.
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Description: SCP-2647 is a company or entity which publicly goes by the name “Omega Life Insurance”. Advertisements for the company, designated SCP-2647-A, date back to 1957, first appearing in newspapers and phonebooks, and later online.1 800 numbers given by the advertisements invariably differ in each instance, and are not traceable to any addresses. Furthermore, the addresses provided by SCP-2647-A similarly differ, and do not appear to exist in any maps or directories.
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If any sapient being calls the provided number, an automated voice on the other end will give the options of enacting, changing, or canceling an insurance policy. Policies range from a price of $1000 to $3000 per year, depending on the number of individuals covered, though all include an additional charge simply labeled "expenses".2 Once a call has been made or attempted, the advertisement will soon vanish from its location and be replaced with a new, non-anomalous advertisement. However, the number can be retained if written down beforehand, and will still allow for the user to contact SCP-2647.
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Should the option of enacting a policy be chosen and purchased, said individual and anyone he or she chooses to include (typically the individual’s immediate family) will become an instance of SCP-2647-B. SCP-2647-B possess and exert the following anomalous attributes:
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A lack of biological aging beyond thirty years old. Instances above the age of thirty who enact a policy will age in reverse over the specific amount of time between their current age and thirty. People who regularly interact with SCP-2647-B will suffer mild to severe premature aging in proportion to the average amount of time spent interacting with SCP-2647-B.
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Immunity to life-threatening diseases, both infectious and noninfectious.3 If an instance has such a disease at the time the policy is enacted, its symptoms will rapidly vanish within three days at most. Otherwise healthy individuals who regularly interact with SCP-2647-B will occasionally suffer fatal diseases associated with the age, genetics, or health practices of SCP-2647-B.
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Probability-defying luck in avoiding or surviving potentially fatal events, such as vehicular crashes, shootouts, and similar occurrences.4 In all cases, certain people who regularly interact with SCP-2647-B instances will experience fatal accidents at roughly the same time as those avoided or survived by SCP-2647-B.
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SCP-2647 will occasionally mail SCP-2647-B false documents such as new Social Security numbers, birth and marriage certificates, and the like for public use. This occasionally results in SCP-2647-B undergoing name changes.
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Ending a policy will result in the dramatic, and often fatal, cancellation of the anomalous effects listed above.
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As of the time of writing, 143 separate instances of SCP-2647-B have been apprehended by the Foundation.
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Addendum-2647-1: Attempts at isolating SCP-2647-B instances has resulted in their anomalous properties being effected on any available security personnel in disproportionate levels, regardless of interaction. All instances must be forced to cancel their policies by necessity.
Foreword: All of the following are recent examples of SCP-2647-B who were forced to cancel their policies with retained phone numbers from SCP-2647-A. Compliance was obtained in all cases via shock collar, and all surviving instances were administered amnestics.
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Date: 03/25/2005
+Subject: Morton Reginald, policy holder since 1972, enacted at age 35. Reginald had since married and divorced twice, with two children from each marriage. None of his resulting family were covered by SCP-2647.
+Results: Upon ending the call, Reginald collapsed and went into a fifteen-minute coma. While unconscious, Reginald’s skin became wrinkled and liver spotted, most of his hair fell out, and his heart briefly stopped, requiring the assistance of a defibrillator.
+Notes: Afterward, a barmaid that Reginald was known to romance recovered from liver cancer, and Reginald’s second wife survived a mugging.
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Date: 05/08/2005
+Subject: Madeline Webb, policy holder since 1958, enacted at age 62. Webb was unmarried throughout the entirety of her time as an SCP-2647-B instance, and living under an assumed name provided by SCP-2647 to hide her age from others.
+Results: Webb shrieked before dropping the phone and collapsed to the floor instantly. Over the course of the next two minutes, Webb convulsed as her teeth fell out, her hair turned from blonde to gray to white, and her skin became increasingly thinner. Eventually, Webb gasped “help” before finally dying. Forensic testing revealed that she had died of a heart attack at the biological age of 87, but had been dead for twenty-two years.
+Notes: Webb’s lawyer, the fifth in her lifetime, missed a flight which later crashed, sparing no survivors.
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Date: 10/15/2005
+Subject: Dominick and Heather Maxwell, family policy holders since 1976, enacted at respective ages of 50 and 47. The Maxwells had two adolescent children, Robert and Janice, respectively aged 17 and 14 at the time the policy was enacted.
+Results: Heather Maxwell went comatose and aged by twenty-nine years. Dominick Maxwell underwent a similar process but suddenly died midway through when an overhead ventilation shaft inexplicably loaded with concrete crashed through the ceiling on top of him, killing him instantly. Later investigation revealed that Maxwell had been staying at a hotel in 1998, which caught fire, only for Maxwell to avoid death via the discovery of a gas mask and rope ladder under the bed in his room. Both of the Maxwells' children claimed to feel “woozy” when the policy was ended, but suffered no ill effects.
+Notes: Heather Maxwell’s sister, described by her doctors as “hours” from death by ovarian cancer, fully recovered after the policy was ended. An elderly friend of Dominick Maxwell later claimed to feel especially rejuvenated, and was described by others as looking and acting “decades” younger.
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Date: 11/06/2005
+Subject: Robert and Vivian Gomez, policy holders since 1974, enacted at respective ages of 65 and 60. Vincent Gomez, a son, was born in 1990.
+Results: Both Gomezes collapsed and aged as in previous cases, but neither survived. Vincent Gomez panicked as he slowly aged in reverse, shrinking first into an infant, then into a fetus, then an embryo, before vanishing entirely.
+Notes: The next-door neighbors of the Gomezes, a couple who were unable to conceive over the past seven years of their marriage, had twins nine months after the policy was ended.
Special Containment Procedures: The Foundation has purchased SCP-2748 from the Chinese government for long-term containment. SCP-2748 is publicly recognised as a private property of a Foundation front company, and has been isolated from adjacent roads via Foundation-instigated landslides. Outside of approved tests, no land vehicle is to travel on SCP-2748. Prior to placing test materials onto SCP-2748, it is to be cleared of all other live and deceased vertebrate animals.
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SCP-2748-A instances are to be kept in Anomalous Vehicle Sector at Site-316. Ignition keys for SCP-2748-A instances are to be stored in a secure locker at Site-316; access is restricted to Level 2 and above personnel.
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SCP-2748-A instances may only be activated as part of approved tests, and by D-class personnel. Prior to activation, a GPS tracking device is to be attached onto the instance. The D-class personnel is to be provided with a helmet, earpiece, protective vest and joint guards. D-class personnel are to keep the door of SCP-2748-A open when activating it, and jump out of the vehicle when the ignition key is turned. To guarantee compliance, personnel may inform the D-class personnel that activation of the ignition key would trigger an explosive device in the vehicle.
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Description: SCP-2748 is a section of a road approximately 1 km long, located in Guzhang County, Xiangxi Tujia and Miao Autonomous Prefecture, Hunan Province, China. SCP-2748-A designates a land vehicle that has struck and terminated a live vertebrate animal while on SCP-2748. The vehicle will then undergo the following transformations into an SCP-2748-A instance:
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Vehicle frame, doors and most interior equipment (e.g. wheel, brake) are transformed into intermediate filaments, while retaining the original shape of the components replaced.
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Body coverings (i.e. fur, feather, scale) corresponding to the terminated specimen will grow on SCP-2748-A's vehicle frame.
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Vehicle audio is limited to a single unknown channel, consisting of moaning sounds.
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The exterior of car seats is transformed into skin tissues, while the interior is transformed with fat tissues.
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Manifestation of Traditional Chinese characters in red ink on the bonnet of the vehicle. Characters correspond to excerpts from Daozang (Taoist Canon).
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This transformation sequence takes place for a duration ranging from three to seven days, depending on the physiology of the terminated specimen. During this period, the vehicle's functionality is unaffected. Transformation is usually deemed completed when the Chinese characters manifest on the bonnet.
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When the ignition switch of a fully-transformed SCP-2748-A instance is turned on, said SCP-2748-A instance gains the capacity for autonomous movement and will move on their own accord. At this point, the use of steering wheel and brakes have no effect on SCP-2748-A. Like non-anomalous vehicles, SCP-2748-A is incapable of movement if fuel supplies are depleted or if tyres are removed.
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Notably, instances that were transformed prior to the Foundation's containment of SCP-2748 tend to travel to areas in proximity to SCP-2748. This tendency is not observed with instances transformed due to Foundation-approved tests, which will instead travel further from SCP-2748. Therefore, it is hypothesised that SCP-2748-A will travel to locations that the terminated specimen associates as its birthplace. Below is an abridged list of SCP-2748-A instances.
Note: SCP-2748-A instances that were transformed as part of a Foundation-approved test are highlighted red.
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SCP-2748-A instance
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Original Vehicle
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Terminated Specimen
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Description
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Notes
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SCP-2748-A1
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Chery QQ3
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Sciurotamias davidianus (Père David's rock squirrel)
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Covered in grey fur.
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Found beside a sandstone pillar in Guzhang County; indentations on the pillar and instance's bonnet are suggestive of a collision between the two. Later investigations reveal that a colony of S. davidianus resides in the pillar.
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SCP-2748-A3
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BMW X5
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Rattus norvegicus (Brown rat)
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Covered in grey fur. Whisker-like growths on the bonnet.1
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Found in ██████ Village, Guzhang County, where it had crashed into a house there. According to survivors, their house was prone to rat infestation.
Covered in brown feathers. Caruncle-like growths identified above and below the handlebars.
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When activated, travelled to Site-319 Agricultural Sector. When arrived at the chicken coop, instance deactivated and remained non-functional since then. Fat tissues on the instance underwent decomposition.
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SCP-2748-A12
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Honda Civic
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Eospalax fontanierii (Chinese zokor)
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Covered in grey fur.
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Found in a forested area in Guzhang County, partially buried. Later investigations identify a network of underground tunnels and two deceased instances of E. fontanierii near the instance's position.
Roof is covered in black hair. Body takes on a deep peach colouration. Unlike other instances, vehicle audio consists of Chinese funerary music.
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Activation occured two metres outside ████████ Village. Upon entering ████████ Village, instance spontaneously disintegrated into a pile of ashes. Initial temperature of the residue is at 1600 ºC.
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SCP-2748 first came into the Foundation's attention on ██/██/2007 when multiple SCP-2748-A instances were identified. Several SCP-2748-A instances were acquired from their owners, under the pretence of defects found in those vehicles. After a period of investigation, SCP-2748 was identified as a source of the anomaly and the area was secured.
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Addendum 2748-1: Prior to its development as a road, SCP-2748 was originally an unmarked burial site allegedly interring early ethnic Miao settlers. Local legends asserted that these settlers were descendants of the Jiu-Li tribe.4 However, since the graves were unmarked, the claim was widely regarded as dubious by government sources.
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The land was eventually acquired by the China Road and Bridge Corporation on ██/██/2007 for development, after local politicians investigated and determined that no bodies have been interred in the area. After which, SCP-2748 was constructed by the China Road and Bridge Corporation from ██/██/2007 to ██/██/2007.
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Addendum 2748-2: The location of SCP-2748 was associated with a separate anomalous event, which may or may not be related with SCP-2748. Said event was intercepted and resolved by the Global Occult Coalition.
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The following document was recovered from Global Occult Coalition PHYSICS Division Threat Entity Database by undercover agents.
Description: Approximately 80 subjects, each a reanimated human carcass in rigor mortis. Skeletons are composed of brass, and iron plates and spearheads have been grafted onto their bodies. Multiple talismans with Traditional Chinese characters written on them are pasted onto arbitrary parts of each subject, indicative of reanimation thaumaturgy of a Taoist superstrate.
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Locomotion limited to forward motion and achieved via jumping, travelling 0.5 metres in distance and 0.2 metres in height per jump. Due to the nature of locomotion, a point of origin has been triangulated to an alleged burial site in Xiangxi Prefecture, Hunan Province, China. At any given point in time, the subjects are equidistant from one another. This is suggestive that the reanimation thaumaturgy occurred simultaneously for all subjects, an oddity for Taoist-orientated reanimation thaumaturgy.
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Liquidation: Subjects identified in Xiangxi Prefecture, Hunan Province, China on the night of ██/██/2007 (GMT +8). Assessment Team 738 "Regal Probe" dispatched to confirm threat entities.
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Due to Second Mission Concerns regarding Type Grey outbreaks, Response Level was elevated to Level 4 (Severe Threat; Immediate Liquidation) and liquidation is spearheaded by Strike Team 8364 "Death Perception". All subjects liquidated via disabling locomotion, followed by incendiary devices. Due to the material composition of LTE-1985-Grey Bluechild, temperature of incendiary blasts was raised up to 1500 ºC to ensure liquidation.
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Appendix 1: Inclusion of "Bluechild" code-phrase.
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Verified financial transaction between Chinese Communist Party Prefectural Committee office at Jishou, Xiangxi Prefecture and KTE-2732-Blue "Old Chin".5 Nature of transaction is stated to be payment for mass exhumation of carcasses from an unspecified burial site within one night.
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Appendix 2: Due to the unique composition of LTE-1985-Grey Bluechild, it is speculated that they might constitute a separate group of paranormal entities when alive.
Special Containment Procedures:SUPERCEDED: see Addendum 2872-1. SCP-2872 is kept at a private stable, where the resident staff care for it. SCP-2872 should receive a full physical examination from Foundation medical personnel once every six months, and should be kept in prime racing condition with the assistance of Foundation-approved jockeys.
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SCP-2872 must win the Kentucky Derby at least once every five years.
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SUPERCEDED: see Addendum 2872-2. SCP-2872 is to be kept in a zoological containment cell 50 metres beneath Site-12. The dimensions of this cell are calculated to deny SCP-2872 the possibility of acceleration. A medical examination will be carried out once every four weeks to ensure it does not adapt to its new containment procedures.
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SCP-2872 is currently uncontained; astronomical departments and satellites are monitoring its path and calculating its final trajectory.
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Description: SCP-2872 is a thoroughbred stallion of indeterminate origin and pedigree, with a height of 1.85m and a mass of 485 kilograms. It is an exceptionally skilled racehorse, with its record in the Kentucky Derby standing at 2:01. Under normal circumstances, its sole anomalous property is the fact that it does not noticeably age.
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SCP-2872’s other anomalous property manifests five years after the last time it won the Kentucky Derby. Whereas its usual demeanour is compliant, at this time it will become restless, and run in large loops. Within two days of entering this phase, SCP-2872 will start to run continuously, accelerating until it is fast enough to demolish any fence or wall in its way. It is physically unharmed by any impact in this state.
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Once SCP-2872 is unimpeded, it will reach a top velocity of approximately 320m/s [NOTE: this is inaccurate as of Addendum 2872-2], and will continue to run in discorectangular tracks across distances measuring hundreds of kilometres. The only known way to cause SCP-2872 to decelerate is for it to hear the words “Whoa, boy!”; this will cause it to come to a stop over a period of 50m, though the sound must be adjusted to take into account the Doppler effect before it will have the desired effect.
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SCP-2872 came to the Foundation’s attention in 196█, shortly after that year’s Kentucky Derby, in which it is believed to have placed second. This is the first recorded instance of SCP-2872 manifesting its anomalous acceleration, and was responsible for $30 million in damages, including the destruction of a three-mile tract of I-24. After multiple attempts to restrain the as-yet unidentified anomaly, SCP-2872 was finally calmed by the intervention of a unknown African-American male in his late 50s, hypothesised to be the owner. He agreed to transfer custody of SCP-2872 to the Foundation, outlining the five-year principle for neutralisation of the destructive effects, but left at significant speed before he could be questioned further. Attempts to trace him have been unsuccessful.
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Attempts to house SCP-2872 with Foundation assets led to two further manifestations before an arrangement was made with a private stable and trainer, and SCP-2872 has consistently won his derbies since.
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Addendum 2872-1:It is felt that the current procedures amount to nothing more than appeasement of SCP-2872, rather than actual protection from its manifestations - see SCP:NOTAHOTEL. As such, SCP-2872 has been relocated to Foundation property, and the containment procedures rewritten to neutralise the anomaly. - Dr J███, 200█
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Addendum 2872-2: In 201█, five years after SCP-2872 won the Kentucky Derby, it began to show signs of agitation, as it was unable to run or walk in its cell. Administration of tranquilisers had no effect, nor the previous failsafe of “Whoa, boy!”, and five hours after its distress began, SCP-2872 violently erupted from its cell through to the surface of Site-12, causing ███ injuries and ██ fatalities. After breaching containment, SCP-2872 achieved escape velocity, and entered a trajectory towards the constellation Equuleus.
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As of the time of writing, SCP-2872 is 10 light-years away from our solar system, and appears to have lost forward momentum. Current analysis suggests that it is turning.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2922-A is to remain at Area-2922. At least one Project Corbenic staff member must be ready to answer transferred calls from SCP-2922-A 24 hours a day.
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SCP-2922-B's research of SCP-2922-C is to continue as a Delta-level priority to the Foundation.
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Details of the SCP-2922 memetic implantation procedure are restricted to Project Corbenic internal operations staff only.
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Selection for an SCP-2922-implanted candidate to take the place of SCP-2922-B is underway.
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Description: SCP-2922 is a method of communication from a human mind to a telephone. Once a human is implanted with SCP-2922, they will be able to make phone calls to a pre-established phone number at any time. The method by which the phone receives these calls is not entirely understood, as it does not involve standard telecommunication signals.
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SCP-2922 was developed by the ██████ Corporation, initially as a novelty smartphone app. The project was then promptly discontinued when it was discovered that actual telepathy, not the natural electricity of the brain, were involved, and the prototype was never released. Despite its nature as an app, a landline can be designated as the destination number as well.
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SCP-2922-A is a █████████ brand telephone of a model commonly seen in office building environments. Its number is [REDACTED], which is the destination number for SCP-2922-B.
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SCP-2922-B is a Foundation scientist, Dr. Janet Spiegel, who volunteered to be implanted with SCP-2922.
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SCP-2922-C is SCP-2922-B's current location as of 11/25/14, believed to be an extradimensional realm.
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Addendum 1 - Project Corbenic: on 11/25/14, two months into the implant, SCP-2922-B was killed in a car accident. Two hours later, a call was received on SCP-2922-A.
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Dr. ██████: Sorry, you have the wrong—
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SCP-2922-B: Oh thank god, you picked up. ██████? It's Janet.
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Dr. ██████: We're not in the mood for prank calls.
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SCP-2922-B: Dr. Janet Spiegel, Foundation email jspiegel01, password ████████████, Social Security number ███-██-████. Not kidding. Am I dead?
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Dr. ██████: Hold on, I'm gonna verify those credentials.
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(verified)
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Dr. ██████: …We just got the call, police said your car got T-boned by a drunk and you were dead on arrival. But if you're reaching this phone, you can't be dead!
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SCP-2922-B: Car crash? At least that makes sense. Last thing I remember was trying to drive through some rain, now I'm naked in the middle of a desert with…
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(SCP-2922-B hesitates)
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Dr. ██████: Janet? Come in, Janet!
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SCP-2922-B: Sorry, just… I'm actually, truly dead, and whatever place this is, I'm not leaving, ever. I need a while to adjust. I'll update you on my condition soon, I promise, but I need a moment to take it in. Mourning myself, if that makes any sense.
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Dr. ██████: Alright, just stay calm, get back to us when you can. Good luck.
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SCP-2922-B: Yeah, thanks. I'll need it.
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(SCP-2922-B hangs up)
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+
Attempts to trace the call yielded nothing.
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Addendum 1 - Project Corbenic:
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By the command of the O5-council, Project Corbenic was started to use SCP-2922-B to explore and ascertain the true nature of SCP-2922-C.
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Project Corbenic Interview Log:
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PC-02
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Dr. ██████: What does the sky look like?
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SCP-2922-B: Dark. Very dark. Sea-green sky. Black clouds. No stars. But it doesn't look like it's nighttime. I don't even know if this place has daytime and nighttime. There's a couple… moons I guess? Three white ones.
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Dr. ██████: Is there a sun?
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SCP-2922-B: No, I think it's just these moons for now.
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Dr. ██████: Temperature?
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SCP-2922-B: Cold. I'd say about 10 degrees celsius. But there's no wind, so that's nice I guess.
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Dr. ██████: Any other life forms?
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SCP-2922-B: Negative. No animals, no people, no wind. No sound. Dead silence. The sound of my breath is kind of loud.
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Dr. ██████: You can breathe?
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SCP-2922-B: Yeah. Still got my body, or at least a duplicate.
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Dr. ██████: How do you feel?
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SCP-2922-B: Emotionally or physically? The former, still pretty awful to be honest.
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Dr. ██████: The latter?
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SCP-2922-B: I'm not in pain… I'm not hungry. I don't feel like I need to do anything. I'm - listen. Can I speak to my husband?
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Dr. ██████: I'll have to take that up with O5.
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SCP-2922-B: Okay, really press for it if you can. I miss him so much already.
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Dr. ██████: Noted. I'll bet he does too.
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SCP-2922-B: How about this. I'm going to walk, straight line, in one direction, for a very long time. As soon as I see something other than sand, I'll contact you again.
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Dr. ██████: Sounds good, we'll be here whenever you've got something.
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(SCP-2922-B hangs up)
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PC-03
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SCP-2922-B: You there?!
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Dr. ██████: Janet, what do you have for us?
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SCP-2922-B: Some real freaky shit. I was just getting to the base of some mountains. How long's it been since I last called?
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Dr. ██████: Five days.
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SCP-2922-B: And I'm not tired or hungry either, that's weird. Anyway, I found another life form. I think.
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Dr. ██████: Human?
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SCP-2922-B: Bipedal, mammalian, that's where the human similarities end. Bigger than the surrounding mountains - wild guess, it's about 2,000 meters high. Slow-moving primate of some kind. It came out of the mountains after I heard some sound like a long, slow drumbeat. Its footsteps. Matted black fur all over, only different colors were its two glowing white eyes, like searchlights. I don't think it had a mouth. Anyway, I think I've got some kind of confirmation that this is an afterlife, if not the afterlife. It stepped on me.
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Dr. ██████: It attacked you?
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SCP-2922-B: More out of curiosity, I think. It just wanted to see how much force my body could stand from its foot. It wasn't angry. Hell, I'd say it was even polite about smashing me, in its own stupid little way.
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Dr. ██████: You were crushed flat, and you're still talking to us?
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SCP-2922-B: Every wound regenerates here. Hurt like hell for about two minutes, but my skin and bones put itself back together in just a few seconds.
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Dr. ██████: And where is this primate?
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SCP-2922-B: Went off into the desert. I think it's just as lost as I am. …I'm seeing some fire in a small valley. Appears man-made from campfires… People. I see people.
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Dr. ██████: How many?
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SCP-2922-B: Hundreds. Looking in this valley, they're all just sort of huddled up. All of them naked as I am. Some of them are buried waist-up in the ground. Why the hell would they do that?
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Dr. ██████: Do they appear to be suffering?
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SCP-2922-B: No. I think they buried themselves. Like, maybe they're at peace with their condition and just want a place to relax.
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(SCP-2922-B hesitates)
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SCP-2922-B: That'll be me soon, won't it.
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Dr. ██████: Stay calm.
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SCP-2922-B: Look - I've given you insights to something you couldn't possibly imagine seeing in your time at the Foundation. I only ask in return that you let me talk to my husband.
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Dr. ██████: I checked with O5. The only people you are authorized to speak with are Project Corbenic personnel.
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SCP-2922-B: Then hire him.
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Dr. ██████: He has an art history degree. I doubt he'd be able to last long in a scientific environment for reasons other than to contact you.
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SCP-2922-B: Fuck it.
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(SCP-2922-B hangs up)
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PC-04
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SCP-2922-B: Good news.
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Dr. ██████: Yes?
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SCP-2922-B: A wagon came to the human camp, driven by a guy in a white robe and a skeletal horse. Says we're being taken to the "Elysian Fields." Paradise, basically.
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Dr. ██████: Interesting. You don't sound too happy about it.
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SCP-2922-B: Yeah, sure.
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(SCP-2922-B hangs up)
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Addendum 2: After PC-04, no further transmissions had been received from SCP-2922-B for seven months. Multiple attempts were made to contact SCP-2922-B through a phone call. All had failed. Project Corbenic was put on hiatus, until a voicemail was recovered from SCP-2922-A.
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PC-05
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(Voicemail recording begins)
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SCP-2922-B: This is Janet. I've been following your efforts to track me down - it helps when you've won the favor of the seventh [DATA EXPUNGED]. All it took was for me to tell you of a field of reeds where everyone's happy forever, and you wanted more. Why? So that you can all have an excuse to die? So you can skip the training and jump right into the mission blind? Cowards.
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Look, everything was true, right up until the grim reaper came in a wagon. Even the giant monkey wasn't a fabrication. After that, the truth is much more complicated, and there's a very easy way for me to tell you what actually happens after you die. I want to talk to my husband. If your fear and hatred of civilians trumps your thirst for knowledge and you decide to not follow through, I'll know. And then you'll never know.
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Dr. Janet Spiegel, advisor to [DATA EXPUNGED] the Impenetrable, signing off.
On 6/14/15, MTF Psi-8 "The Silencers" raided the home of Herman Spiegel, widower to Dr. Janet Spiegel, after detecting a voicemail from an anomalous source similar to the one received by SCP-2922-A. Upon discovery, Mr. Spiegel threw the phone at a wall in an attempt to destroy it, and was shot. The phone was unharmed, and this voicemail was uncovered.
+
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(voicemail recording begins)
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SCP-2922-B: Herm, it's me. I know you might have doubts, but you are standing in your silly silk PJs looking at your phone like you've just gone crazy. It's 3:54 AM where you are. This is Janet, and I'm contacting you from beyond the grave. You're not crazy.
+
Now listen carefully, because it was hard enough to send this to a phone that wasn't 2922-A and [DATA EXPUNGED] the Impenetrable can only work so much magic - he's friendlier than he sounds, trust me, we're on a first-name basis.
+
That's not important - some guys from a Foundation task force are headed to our house. They'll be there in less than ten minutes. I can see this, I have some help. This is MTF Psi-8 that's after you, really black-ops Foundation stuff, they have a policy of not taking prisoners. You're about to die.
+
Look, I know you're very scared right now. I wish I could be there. Your dead wife is telling you you're about to die, and I know that scares you, especially since you're an atheist. But I assure you - there is an afterlife. There are millions of afterlives. There are as many different ones as there are different types of people. I'm in one of the preferable ones, and you can be here with me if you follow my path.
+
There isn't much I can say about the journey without compromising the whole thing, but you've been preparing for this journey your whole life. You've been given instructions along the way, you just didn't know they were at the time. Look back to your most important memories. This is not hell, or heaven, or purgatory. This is the final exam.
+
There are just a few things to remember - one, never give up. I know you can reach me, you're the strongest and bravest guy I know. Two, follow the moon on the left. Get to the Valley of the Striders, and ask the three-faced tree where the "spy" went. It'll make sense when you get there.
+
Three, do NOT do anything that'll make anyone angry. If a Strider wants to kill you, let it. You'll regenerate, it's harmless. I think that's their way of saying "hello." It happened to me - things can't die here, but there's something worse. Whatever you do, do not get "sent back" by the Striders or the Eight [DATA EXPUNGED]. I can't say what that is without making it happen to you, but you don't want it. Four, most importantly—
+
Shit. They're at your door. Remember what I told you. Delete this voicemail, smash this phone to pieces, they must never know.
+
I've got [DATA EXPUNGED] the Impenetrable on my side and he'll do what he can to help you along the way. For the record, he believes in you too, and that's high praise considering that it comes from a being of his power.
+
I'll be watching. Win or lose, I love you forever.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2948 is currently sealed in a heat-insulated, sound-proof, air-tight, opaque Faraday cage at Area-100.
+
Description: SCP-2948 is currently an implosion-type Uranium bomb that, in the event of detonation, replaces itself in a larger container with a larger payload. The size that SCP-2948 replaces itself at occurs at an exponential growth rate of 37.6% between iterations. The explosive capacity of SCP-2948 has scaled with its physical growth. SCP-2948 has changed explosive mechanism and triggers, but has retained basic nuclear technology congruent with the year 19461. If the current iteration2 of SCP-2948 were to detonate, it would release approximately 1.09 PJ of energy.
+
SCP-2948 currently has a 5 day timed trigger, and six known extraneous triggers: temperatures outside the range of approximately -5C° and 25C°, sound levels above 40 dB, exposure to ambient lighting exceeding 240 lx, electrical currents of over .5 A, kinetic disturbances exceeding 2000 N, and exposure to carbon monoxide above 70 ppm. SCP-2948 arms its extraneous triggers 30.1 hours after each detonation. Due to the difficulty of disarming SCP-2948, only the timed trigger has been directly deactivated; the extraneous triggers have been impossible to disarm without prematurely detonating SCP-2948.
+
SCP-2948 was designed by a team headed by Dr. Paslie Maddison for the American government during The Manhattan Project and Operation Crossroads between 1944-1946. SCP-2948 was created after an attempt to develop a more efficient and attainable fissile material for bombs' cores resulted in an experimental fuel reactor melting down. Approximately 60 kg of a previously unidentified isotope of Uranium (now known as Uranium-240) was recovered from the site of the meltdown. The new material was slated to be used in SCP-2948 shortly after it was deemed to be a suitable explosive.
+
SCP-2948 was successfully detonated under the test name "Dog" near Bikini Atoll in 1946 along side tests "Able" and "Baker". SCP-2948 had not been observed reforming in the debris and water of its previous detonation, and was consequently neglected until it detonated under water again, 5 days later. The American government launched an investigation for the unprecedented explosion, and, after recovering SCP-2948, contacted the Foundation. SCP-2948 was stricken from the public record, and 27 members of the press were administered Class-C amnestics.
+
Addendum SCP-2948-A: Discovery made on ██/██/197█
+Dr. Maddison was admitted to ██████ ████ hospital in ████████, Nevada, for a case of radiation poisoning. Upon investigation, a massive warehouse in the ██████ Desert was discovered with enough parts and material to build approximately 12 nuclear warheads, several of which were in various stages of construction and decay. 4 small nuclear reactors were also discovered, 3 of which had been intentionally melted down and stripped for material. It is currently unknown how Dr. Maddison managed to acquire as much nuclear material as he did, but it appears that he purchased most of it illegally, some time shortly after he retired in 1949. Only 4 kg of Uranium-240 was recovered from the warehouse.
+
110 sequentially numbered notebooks were also recovered from the warehouse. The notebooks contain notes, schematics, and essays in handwriting congruent with Dr. Maddison's that alternate between Dr. Maddison's attempts to reengineer the repeating properties of SCP-2948 in other war heads, and several extensive drafts of a manifesto describing the need to ensure world peace by distributing instances of SCP-2948 to many of the world powers. Dr. Maddison believed that if one country destroyed another, the repeating bomb that the bombed country had received would detonate in the blast as well, and eventually the world would be destroyed from a series of exponentially growing explosions. Several of the notebooks' later entries illustrate Dr. Maddison's frustration from being unable to develop Uranium-240 as efficiently as had been done accidently during the Manhattan Project.
+
Dr. Maddison's notes become increasingly illegible and repetitive near his final work. Shortly after his hospitalization, he was diagnosed with dementia caused by late stage Alzheimer's Disease. It was deemed impractical to administer an amnestic to Dr. Maddison, and instead, upon request by the Ethics Committee, Dr. Maddison was admitted to Site-17 for therapy.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2966 is to be contained at Outpost 117, and at no time shall any other SCP objects be contained with it. A liquid-fluoride thorium reactor is to be powered at all times, with the heat exchange directly in thermodynamic contact with SCP-2966's housing. Before usage of SCP-2966, monitors will ensure that there are at least 2.04×1017 joules of heat energy available to thermodynamically transfer into SCP-2966's housing. During use, this heat energy transfer will be carefully monitored to match the rate of matter removal.
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A skeleton crew shall occupy Outpost 117, to minimize the risk of casualties. This crew shall consist of three persons trained in the maintenance and upkeep of a liquid-fluoride thorium reactor, four research personnel to monitor both SCP-2966's state and the state of the reactor, two four-man squads of security personnel to patrol a 25 km perimeter around Outpost 117's location and deter civilian entrance, and one D-class personnel to use SCP-2966.
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A D-Class shall use SCP-2966 three times per day, at eight-hour intervals (0800, 1600, 2400), where use is defined as the removal of at least ten sheets from SCP-2966. Use is to be heavily monitored and contact shall be kept with the D-Class subject at all times during said use, in order to modulate the speed with which SCP-2966 is used. A regulator placed on the reactor shall accordingly adjust energy output to match inevitable changes in the rate at which SCP-2966 is used. A scale attached to SCP-2966's housing shall determine its mass at all times, and relay said information to monitoring staff.
+
Construction of an airstrip for jet aircraft is currently undergoing evaluation as a possible means of escape, should SCP-2966 reach the critical stage, as well as a means for connection to larger adjacent Foundation sites.
+
Description: SCP-2966 is an anomalous roll of █████ brand toilet paper. The roll currently averages a mass of around █.█ kilograms, though attempting to reduce this mass is discouraged as a result of Incident 2966-35A. Toilet paper sheets removed from SCP-2966 are, beyond being incredibly effective at removing stray fecal matter, non-anomalous and energetically stable. The roll section of SCP-2966 is housed in a steel container, attached to a wall mounting, which has no means for accessing the roll for replacement or removal. Non-invasive testing of the housing has not yielded a clear picture of what is inside the housing, and invasive testing is discouraged due to SCP-2966's volatile nature. In addition, the housing serves as the main heat-sink for thermal transfer between SCP-2966 and the reactor; damaging the thermodynamic connection may result in SCP-2966 going critical.
+
SCP-2966 is anomalous in that it is, effectively, an infinite roll of toilet paper. Since containment started in ██/██/████, approximately ██ km of toilet paper has been removed from SCP-2966. No means of inputting mass or more toilet paper have been observed, and [REDACTED] testing has revealed no temporal retrieval of additional paper from a different location or dimension. The mechanism by which SCP-2966 accomplishes this is entirely unknown, though its effects are well understood.
+
SCP-2966 obeys the laws of mass/energy conservation, and through unknown means, absorbs energy from its surroundings in order to create the matter that makes up the toilet paper. One sheet of SCP-2966 weighs approximately three grams, which means that approximately 2.04×1016 joules of energy, or roughly 65 tons of TNT, is needed for one sheet of SCP-2966 to be produced.1 It is estimated that there are ████ sheets formed within the roll of SCP-2966, or a yield of [REDACTED] megatons of TNT.
+
If more than ten sheets are removed at one time from SCP-2966, it will absorb the energy around it at roughly the rate at which sheets are removed. The form of energy absorbed is most often heat energy, though SCP-2966 does not appear to have a preference; testing has shown that ambient sound energy has also been decreased during use. Without an external source of energy to provide power to SCP-2966, the large amount of energy needed to form one sheet (2.04×1016 joules) is absorbed from the ambient heat of the surroundings, quickly bringing the temperature of all matter within a radius of ██ meters to near absolute zero. This has happened twice during power failures. Both times, onsite staff have sacrificed themselves to remove ten sheets, killing themselves through hypothermia instantly. While not a sustainable containment solution, such a sacrifice has prevented SCP-2966 from going critical.
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If SCP-2966 is not used, it will begin to lose the matter it has gained, turned into energy once more, at a rate given as e(█.██)n joules per second, where n is the number of minutes since last use. This energy is radiated away in the form of heat, and occasionally, alpha particles. The optimum balance between usage and radiation has been determined to be slightly more than eight hours, reflected in the special containment procedures. As this rate increases exponentially, SCP-2966 will reach a critical stage approximately ██ hours after last use, in which the rate of energy radiation will rapidly approach infinity. Effectively, this results in SCP-2966 converting its remaining mass entirely to energy in an instant. This is estimated to produce roughly 1x10██ joules of energy, or an explosion with a yield of ████ megatons.2 Despite Outpost 117's remote location, a fully critical SCP-2966 situation is estimated to produce casualties in excess of what the Foundation is equipped to handle.
+
During usage of SCP-2966, D-Class subjects have reported an occasional decrease in room temperature. D-Class have also reported that the paper removed from SCP-2966 is exceptionally comfortable, effective, and strong. Requests for sheets removed from SCP-2966 to be re-rolled and used at Foundation facilities have been denied.
SCP-2966 was discovered after Foundation agents noticed an anomalous temperature drop in █████████, CA from data recorded by the National Weather Service. A subsequent investigation by Mobile Task Force Theta-19 (Rocketeers) revealed that one "Pine Range Research" had been frozen over in an area of about 1 km2, despite it being a warm summer day. Data returned by MTF Theta-19 indicates that the temperature of the area had been approximately -108 degrees Celsius, far lower than any temperature naturally recorded on Earth. As to why the area was not at absolute zero, research has suggested that the usage of SCP-2966 had occurred several hours earlier, and that sunlight had warmed the area in the intervening time.
+
MTF Theta-19 breached the building, and found that all present in the building had been killed as a result of the temperature drop. A researcher, later identified as Dr. ███████ ██████████, was discovered apparently giving a demonstration to several others, holding SCP-2966. The effects of SCP-2966 rendered all electronics within the site corrupted, thus no data could be obtained as to how SCP-2966 was created. However, MTF Theta-19 did discover a handwritten journal belonging to Dr. ███████ ██████████ in his office, and while the pages were covered in frost, parts of the journal were recovered and able to be read. See Document 2966-01.
+
Several locals had noticed the rapid temperature drop. A cover story of a ruptured liquid nitrogen tank was disseminated, and Class A amnestics administered. SCP-2966 was studied in situ in the following hours after a secure perimeter had been established, its properties determined, and successfully contained.
Today, we've achieved a breakthrough in toilet paper technology. Not a single man will need to feel the burning pain of an uncleaned nether region ever again! Moreover, this will likely make me exceedingly rich, once we figure out how to make other paper products, like tissues, and maybe even plates!
+
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██/██/████:
+
A minor setback has occurred with the InfiniTP project. We can't produce cellulose fibers fast enough to make a truly infinite roll. A possible solution is the liberal application of halved hafnium, otherwise known as quarternium. While exceedingly rare, and expensive, sacrifices must be made in the pursuit of science!
+
While the others call me a fool, I should think that in this day and age, anyone with a doctorate should be able to understand others' work, even if it's in a different branch. That's just good science, if you can write well enough for the layman to understand. Who cares if I'm a botanist? I should be able to decipher Dr. █████'s paper on quarternium.
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Note: No such element known as "quarternium" exists.
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██/██/████:
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The housing is complete. We've added the initial paper, and soon, the quarternium-[REDACTED] alloy will be complete, for insertion into the hyperbaric containment field. Of course, the yotta-rays have proven themselves to be an issue, but they shouldn't terribly hamper the production of fermion pairs.
+
Note: Rest of entry is illegible.
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██/██/████:
+
It appears that the threshold energy for fermion-pair production is slightly higher than my calculations suggest. No matter. I'll just re-work the calculations with Fermi-Estimation, and that should put us in a good place to test tomorrow. Soon, the world will never need toilet paper again!
+
Note: After this entry are several partially legible equations, solved by hand. Thorough hand-calculations were done by Foundation physicists with the same constants, which revealed that Dr. ██████████ had apparently misplaced the square in E=mc2 early in his work. This led to substantially lower energies than in reality, possibly reinforcing Dr. ██████████'s idea that he could create matter from energy safely.
On ██/██/████, Test 2966-35A was conducted, in attempt to see if a reduction in mass could be achieved by rapid removal of SCP-2966 sheets while supplying an excess of energy. This resulted in SCP-2966 immediately going critical. The subsequent energy release of ██×10██ joules destroyed Outpost 117 and resulted in ██ casualties. Due to Outpost 117's remote location, no non-Foundation casualties were reported. SCP-2966 was recovered unharmed, and weighed ███ grams less. Outpost 117 has since been rebuilt and containment re-established.
SCP-3013: An Expression of Mourning
+Author:Tufto, written on their original account. More of their work can be found here.
+Image: Can be found here, under a CC license.
Special Containment Procedures: Following the events of Experiment 3013-8, SCP-3013 is currently located in what was Secure Holding Facility B of Site-██. This room has been surrounded by a hermetically sealed container. On no account are any structural changes to be made to this holding facility or container, unless to reinforce the former Secure Holding Facility B. Surveillance cameras and guards are posted at intervals around this chamber. One entrance leads directly to SCP-3013’s holding chamber; this is not to be used unless some way is found to penetrate the SCP-3013-1 instance currently permeating the holding chamber.
SCP-3013 is currently located in Secure Holding Facility B in Site-██. SCP-3013 is to be fitted with a painting on canvas or paper at all times. The painting currently used is a copy of Johannes Vermeer’s "The Milkmaid", although due to the eventually violent nature of the SCP-3013-1 instances which are created as a result of these procedures, the search for an alternate painting is ongoing. The SCP-3013-1 instances created as a result of these procedures are to be given a variety of tasks which approximate duties which a female Dutch servant would have performed in the mid-17th century. Armed guards are to be present at all times to prevent violent outbursts which might damage SCP-3013. Due to the inevitability of a violent outburst occurring after 14 hours, it is recommended that the current SCP-3013-1 instance be terminated every 12 hours.
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Description: SCP-3013 is a wooden picture frame, which will alter its size, shape and style to accommodate any painted canvas or paper inserted into it. Once a painting is inserted into it, SCP-3013-1 instances will begin to manifest in the surrounding area. SCP-3013-1 instances are usually objects, people or alterations to the landscape which resemble features of the painting inserted into SCP-3013.
+
The nature of these SCP-3013-1 instances changes depending on the painting in question. In a portrait-painting, or a picture dominated by human or animal figures, SCP-3013-1 instance will usually resemble the human or animal figures present in the painting. Such SCP-3013-1 instances will ordinarily be sapient, and will possess personality traits related to the subjects of the painting or the nature of their composition. If a painting with a lesser focus on human or animal figures is placed in SCP-3013, such as a landscape painting or an abstract piece, then SCP-3013-1 instances will often instead be an alteration of the physical environment around SCP-3013. Further details can be found in the experiment log below.
+
Should SCP-3013 not have a painting within it, then an SCP-3013-2 event will occur. This consists of gradual damage affecting the landscape surrounding SCP-3013, usually via noticeable subsidence in the surrounding area, in addition to cracks and fault lines appearing over the course of several hours in the landscape and any structures close to SCP-3013. Although SCP-3013 is not indestructible, attempts to harm it simply result in extremely fast-acting and intense SCP-3013-2 events.
+
SCP-3013 was first discovered by the Foundation in 20██, in the ruins of ██████████ Hall, a country manor in Norfolk, England. It is believed that a recent burglary had seen the painting currently in SCP-3013 removed, prompting the activation of an SCP-3013-2 event, resulting in the destruction of ██████████ Hall and several earthquakes registering above 8 on the Richter Scale. ██████████ Hall had been abandoned since 197█, when its previous occupant, Annabel Stone, had died. Mrs. Stone had been a prominent local artist, but had reportedly become a social recluse several months after her husband’s death in 193█, and had rarely ventured out of her home thereafter. The house was considered to be haunted by the local inhabitants after her death, with attempts to enter the property ordinarily resulting in considerable emotional distress to the intruders.
+
Due to the events of Experiment 3013-8, SCP-3013 is currently unreachable, due to an SCP-3013-1 instance permeating its current containment chamber. It is currently believed that should the current containment procedures limiting the present SCP-3013-1 instance to its current parameters be destroyed, an XK-class end-of-the-world scenario could be possible. As the present SCP-3013-1 instance appears to be limited by the boundaries of the room it was contained in, despite a lack of clear physical impediments. It is thus believed that SCP-3013’s effects are currently tied to the conceptual space of the room rather than any physical barriers.
Subject: A copy of Rembrandt van Rijn’s “Self Portrait with Beret and Turned-Up Collar”, originally dated to 1659. This picture was considered a viable candidate for containment, as the depiction is relatively straightforward and lacks any complicating elements.
+
Effect Observed: An SCP-3013-1 instance, resembling the figure portrayed in the painting, manifested a few feet away from SCP-3013. The figure began speaking in a dialect of 17th century Dutch, speaking about how it “existed twice”, and that his presence was a “destruction of the self”. After several minutes, the figure became violent, attacking the facility’s guards and demanding that he “was made whole again”. The SCP-3013-1 instance was immediately terminated, and the picture in SCP-3013 removed and replaced.
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Notes: It is believed that the reaction of the SCP-3013-1 instance was due to the use of a self-portrait. It is recommended that self-portraits should not be used again, due to the distress caused to the SCP-3013-1 instance here.
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Experiment 3013-2
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Subject: A copy of Johannes Vermeer’s “The Milkmaid”. This picture was considered a viable candidate, in the belief that the woman portrayed would not be violent and would pose little threat to any Foundation personnel.
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Effect Observed: An SCP-3013-1 instance, resembling the figure portrayed in the painting, manifested a few feet away from SCP-3013. The figure began speaking in a dialect of 17th century Dutch, requesting a task to perform. When Foundation personnel were unable to provide it with a suitable task, the SCP-3013-1 instance exhibited extreme emotional distress for several minutes, begging to be given a task before attempting to attack SCP-3013. The SCP-3013-1 instance was immediately terminated and the painting removed.
+
Notes: Subsequent tests were performed using this painting. In these, SCP-3013-1 instances have been given tasks superficially resembling the duties of a 17th century Dutch servant to a middle-class household. The instances perform these tasks constantly, despite physical and emotional fatigue, and become distressed if no task is given to perform. Possibly due to the fatigue, the instances will always become violent after approximately 14 hours, at which point they are terminated. Another instance will manifest shortly afterwards. These SCP-3013-1 instances are usually non-verbal, expressing little co-operation with Foundation questioning; however, when asked on one occasion why they feel the need to perform these tasks, an SCP-3013-1 instance responded, stating that “I’ve been serving on paper for far longer than I ever did in life. It’s all I know”.
+
Due to the relatively low resource cost of this test, it is been incorporated into the containment procedures for SCP-3013 until a suitable replacement is found.
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Experiment 3013-3
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Subject: A copy of the 16th century Persian miniature “The Court of Gayumars”, drawn by the Safavid miniaturist Sultan Muhammad. This picture was initially part of the famous “Tahmasp Shahname”. This painting was used to examine the effects of a radically different style of painting, wherein the painting was conceived of as an extension of textual decoration rather than as an independent work.
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Effect Observed: An SCP-3013-1 manifestations resembling the painting’s depiction of Gayumars immediately manifested, screaming the phrase “Where are my brothers?” over and over again at a high volume. After 30 seconds, several SCP-3013-1 manifestations resembling the animals in the painting manifested and immediately began to attack Foundation personnel. The painting was swiftly removed, causing the instances to disappear.
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Notes: It is believed that, as the page was originally designed to illustrate a volume alongside many other pictures, its existence as a painting removed from context caused a high degree of panic and stress in the SCP-3013-1 instances. It is recommended that all future paintings used are to be independent works of art, with a meaning that is not dependent on its position within a larger whole.
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Experiment 3013-4
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Subject: A drawing of the Project Lead, Dr. F██████ and her husband Dr. R█████, created by their young child I███████ R█████. The child had attempted to draw an accurate representation of its parents, but had deemed its drawing a failure. This experiment was performed to ascertain the effects on SCP-3013 wherein the intended result was not achieved.
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Effect Observed: Two SCP-3013-1 instances resembling the figures in the drawing manifested. These instances were observed to constantly sob and scream, begging to be killed because of their “failure”. Shortly afterwards, they attempted to attack SCP-3013, stating that they “needed to be unreal again.” The instances were swiftly terminated and the painting removed from SCP-3013-1.
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Notes: By order of Dr. F██████, no drawings by children are to be used with SCP-3013 again.
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Experiment 3013-5
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Subject: A copy of the painting “View of Haarlem with Bleaching Fields” by the 17th century Dutch painter Jacob van Ruisdael. This experiment was conducted to ascertain the effects a landscape painting would have on SCP-3013.
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Effect Observed: SCP-3013-1 instances resembling grass and trees rapidly began growing from the floor of the containment facility, and attempted to restrain and strangle Foundation personnel present. SCP-3013 was swiftly removed, causing the disappearance of the SCP-3013-1 instances. Foundation personnel present have insisted that they could hear the words “You do not belong here” and “you are not Arcadian” being whispered to them, but audio logs reveal no such sounds.
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Notes: This highly unexpected result, which lacks a clear explanation, has prompted further testing of landscape paintings with SCP-3013, especially those drawn in a non-European tradition.
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Experiment 3013-6
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Subject: A copy of the painting “Pine Trees” by the 16th century Japanese artist Hasegawa Tohaku. After the results of Experiment SCP-3013-5, a desire to examine further landscape paintings is ongoing.
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Effect Observed: The containment facility containing SCP-3013 abruptly disappeared, along with all of its contents. Video and audio links were abruptly cut. After 893 minutes, the containment facility and its contents abruptly returned. All Foundation personnel were unharmed but extremely shaken. They claim that the containment facility and its contents were transported to hilly landscape stretching indefinitely in all directions, with pine trees being the only other features in the landscape. Immediate amnesia, alongside an extreme feeling of panic, prevented them from removing the painting for several hours, until Agent R██, in a fit of panic, accidentally ripped the painting in two while “flailing in a mad panic”, causing the reversal of the effects of SCP-3013.
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Notes: By order of Dr. ██████, experimentation with landscape paintings and SCP-3013 is suspended until further notice.
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Experiment 3013-7
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Subject: A copy of Georges Bracques’ “Violin and Candlestick”. This was to determine the effects of a manifestly non-realist style, in this case Cubism, on SCP-3013.
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Effect Observed: The containment facility and its contents began to exhibit severe physical anomalies, with the abrupt deconstruction of several objects and the walls. The painting was swiftly removed from SCP-3013. A total of 8 Foundation personnel expired as a result of this experiment.
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Notes: Following this experiment, Dr. F██████ was removed as project lead, and replaced by Dr. ████. It was believed that due to Dr. ████’s capable and straightforward handling of the termination of SCPs ████, ███ and ████ he would provide a more mainstream and rational testing approach.
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Experiment 3013-8
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Subject: A copy of Mark Rothko’s “Untitled (Black on Grey)”. It was believed by Dr. ████ that this would have a negating effect on SCP-3013’s anomalous properties, owing to the artist’s statement that the painting’s meaning was concerned with death.
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Effect Observed: The containment facility was abruptly filled with an SCP-3013-1 instance. This instance appears to be an absence of all matter. The instance is incapable of absorbing or reflecting light, with observers ordinarily providing no other descriptor than "darkness", although some respond by calling it "death" instead. The status of all objects and people within the holding facility at the time of this SCP-3013-1 instance's manifestation- including SCP-3013 and 12 Foundation personnel- is presently unknown. Attempts to penetrate this instance by objects and personnel have simply resulted in them being sucked into the instance.
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Notes: Due to the unexpected results of this experiment, SCP-3013 is currently unreachable. The containment procedures have been updated accordingly. The current SCP-3013 instance appears to possess some form of anti-memetic effect; it is believed that a total of ██ Foundation personnel were sent into the current SCP-3013-1 instance to retrieve SCP-3013, before an investigation by [REDACTED] determined that Foundation personnel were systematically forgetting the existence of any personnel being sent into the containment facility.
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Addendum SCP-3013-1: On 27/12/20██, a stolen painting and a letter were discovered by the Dutch police during a raid on an illegal art auction in Amsterdam. Foundation agents embedded within the Dutch police recognised its relevance to SCP-3013 and transferred both to Foundation control, issuing amnestics to all known to be involved. The painting is an oil-on-canvas work of considerable skill, dated to the mid-1930s and depicting a middle-aged man believed to be Elijah Stone, the husband of Annabel Stone. The letter was also dated to the mid-1930s. It is believed to have been intended for a friend of Ms. Stone’s, Maud Lancaster, but was unfinished and apparently never sent. The letter reads as follows:
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My Dearest Maud,
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It was delightful to see you last week! The children are growing up so fast now; I could hardly recognise them. I must thank you for your recipe for those jam tartlets- I might cook them for the church fundraiser next month. Your new house is so lovely- that little London flat of Jack’s always seemed to be far too dark and squalid for you.
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I do appreciate your attempts to lift my spirits after Elijah’s passing, but there really is no need. It has been almost a year now, and I am doing quite fine on my own. My paintings are selling well recently, and a fellow from London recently bought that picture of my niece Harry for a tidy little sum. I do miss him dreadfully, but I’m beginning to piece things back together again. Reverend Jacobs has been most helpful, and always provides a kind shoulder to lean on. I think he might be a little sweet on me- he is an awfully handsome fellow, and it doesn’t do for someone in his line of work to be unmarried at his age.
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By the way, I know that you’re interested in spiritualists and mediums, so I thought this little story might amuse you. There’s a medium in the village, who I think I’ve mentioned before- “Madam Quentin”, she calls herself. I think it’s all frightful nonsense, personally, but it does provide me with some amusement in the evenings- watching all the locals get in a tizzy over some great-aunt they never cared about any way is rather fun.
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Anyway, there was a chap from America there, a doctor of some kind, who knew Elijah! Said that he knew him from his work in London- they’d often met up at the Belgrade, apparently. He gave me the most marvellous wooden frame- it's in a delightful shade, and with a lovely pattern carved into it. And I must tell you, Maud- he seemed at first like a perfectly charming and amiable young gentleman, but once he had given me the frame, he leaned in and said the strangest things.
+
His voice was so cold and chilling that I’ve remembered every word: “This object is an expression of mourning, for your husband and my old friend. I shall tell you now that it must only be used for that. If it is not, then all the feeling, all the genius and all the grief poured into its construction will be misused. It’ll start directing the energies of other ideas, thoughts that it was not supposed to touch. So only use it for a painting of beloved Elijah, my dear. If you don’t, then the madness and darkness of a passion frustrated will run vengeful and free, until that feeling is all that's left.”
+
And then, he quite abruptly left, before I was able to ask him what on earth he meant! It was all very mysterious, and the whole thing left me feeling a little shaken. I’m not sure that he was quite right in the head. But the frame is such a lovely piece of craftsmanship, all the same. I think it’s the perfect fit for that picture I painted of him a month before his passing.
+
+
At this point, there is a break of several lines, before the text resumes. The hand appears to be the same, but with a far shakier grasp on the pen, believed to be due to advanced age. It is believed that this portion of the letter was written several decades after the first.
+
+
I don’t remember this letter. I must have just forgotten about it, what with all the excitement of the day. I should have finished it, I suppose. I was rude not to. But I can’t pretend I really care.
+
You’re long dead now, Maud. I don’t think I ever saw you again after this. I couldn’t see the point. I didn’t have to try any more. I didn’t have to be brave, I didn’t have to pretend to be happy, I didn’t have to be lonely in a crowd any more. I didn’t have to try. It’s just me, and him, and he never grew old and he always loves me.
Filename: milkmaid
+Name: Rijksmuseum 1885 - The Gallery of Honour (1st Floor) - The Milkmaid 1657-58 by Johannes Vermeer.jpg
+Author:Txllxt TxllxT
+License: CC BY-SA 4.0
+Source Link:Wikimedia
Special Containment Procedures: Frozen samples of SCP-306 are stored at Bio-Research Site-101. Research on SCP-306 is to be carried out under Biosafety Level 4 protocols.
+
Subjects infected with SCP-306 are to be immediately placed under quarantine. Any items making physical contact with infected subjects or SCP-306 residue are to be incinerated. Personnel interacting with infected subjects are to remain in full hazmat containment suits. Personnel interacting with infected subjects or SCP-306 residue are to remain under mandatory quarantine and submit to twice-daily examination for a period of two (2) weeks after interaction.
+
Containment breaches within controlled environments will result in lockdown of affected area. Personnel within the affected area are to remain in place until cleared for release. Hazmat teams are to remove and examine personnel for signs of infection. Infected personnel are to be quarantined. Affected area is to then be sterilized.
+
A 1km radius around any areas experiencing an outbreak of SCP-306 is to be quarantined. Areas are to have all water and sewer systems sealed. Hazmat teams are to be deployed in the area, and all persons in the quarantine zone are to be evacuated and screened for infection. Uninfected persons are to be released, with non-Foundation employees administered Class B amnestics. Infected persons are to be terminated. Following completed evacuation, enclosed areas are to be sterilized with ethylene oxide. In unenclosed areas, controlled burning, followed by a ground sweep, are to be enacted. Wetlands harboring SCP-306 are to be impounded, filled, and sealed with concrete. Preventing SCP-306 from infecting any large body of water is an Alpha-class priority.
+
Description: SCP-306 is a fungus related to the genus Trichophyton. SCP-306 can infect humans through inhalation of spores or by skin to skin contact. Initial symptoms of infection can include coughing and sneezing, and skin lesions. Lesions caused by SCP-306 display a morphology similar to benign papillomas (warts), and reach full size after approximately two (2) days. Lesions are prone to shedding, after which another lesion forms underneath. Lesions that fall from the body of infected subjects are light enough to be carried by wind, and capable of spreading SCP-306 for years. If untreated, lesions caused by SCP-306 can cover the body within two (2) weeks. SCP-306 appears to mainly infect humans; however, testing is ongoing to determine any additional carriers. SCP-306 has been shown to grow in nearly all biological matter.
+
SCP-306's primary anomalous property will only manifest when growing on human tissue. When infecting a human, SCP-306 secretes several previously unknown enzymes. These enzymes catalyze an unknown process which drastically alters the structure of cells, resulting in the formation of several extra organelles of an indeterminate function.
+
Approximately two (2) weeks following infection, infected subjects begin to develop major physiological modifications. Over the course of the next three (3) weeks, subjects rapidly lose weight, followed by the development of abnormal pigmentation and increased water permeability of skin. Subjects who are still able to speak describe being in constant, excruciating pain. Over the next two (2) to five (5) months, symptoms include:
+
+
Shrinkage of organ systems
+
Reshaping of the skeletal system
+
Rapid decrease in intellect
+
+
This process can last between two (2) and five (5) months, after which subjects are referred to as SCP-306-1.
+
Instances of SCP-306-1 on average weigh 25-30kg, measuring 0.5m in length. SCP-306-1 have an appearance similar to amphibians, but correspond to no known species. Autopsies of deceased SCP-306-1 specimens have revealed that internal structures remain morphologically similar to human organs following metamorphosis. Instances appear to enjoy human presence, and actively attempt to gain contact when in human presence. SCP-306-1 remain extremely infectious, with any direct physical contact resulting in infection by SCP-306. SCP-306-1 are capable of reproduction in a similar manner to Agalychnis callidryas.
+
SCP-306 was discovered in [REDACTED] Louisiana in a swampy area when locals reported a colony of unknown amphibious creatures, coupled with a string of unexplained disappearances. Foundation agents were deployed to the scene to investigate, leading to the objects discovery. Since this event, ██ additional SCP-306 outbreaks have been found in the south-eastern United States.
+
SCP-306 is treatable with polyene and triazole antifungals in early stages resistant to nearly all treatment, with the exception of high heat. Cauterization of infected tissue has shown modest success in treating cutaneous infection, however respiratory infection is not treatable. See Addenda.
+
Addendum 1: Testing on SCP-306 has shown the fungus to be able to grow in nearly all biological matter, including most vertebrates. However, only humans have been shown to develop any deleterious effects from infection. Due to the possibility of a major outbreak, Dr.████ is requesting increased funding for research into SCP-306.
+
Addendum 2: Memo from Site-██ Director ██████, ██/██/198█
+
Based off Dr.████'s research into SCP-306, we now consider it extremely likely that large reservoirs of SCP-306 exist in the wild. Because of both the physical danger and danger to secrecy presented, all sites are advised to monitor for wild SCP-306 reservoirs. Any confirmed vectors are to be dealt with by applicable regional forces.
+
Addendum 3: As of ██/██/198█, Site-██ has reported decreased efficacy of antifungal sprays used to combat SCP-306. O5-6 has authorized further testing to determine the cause of this change.
+
Addendum 4: Incident I-306-3.
+
On ██/██/198█, all 12 contained instances of SCP-306-1 escaped primary containment during routine feeding. Researcher Thomson was fatally injured by a stray bullet as security subdued the specimens.
+
The following is a transcript of an interview conducted with Researcher Fillis immediately following the breach.
Lennard: Thank you for being here on short notice.
+
Fillis: Sure.
+
Lennard: Alright, first order of business, please state what you were doing when the breach occurred.
+
Fillis: Well, I was conducting feeding for the Three Oh Six Dash One specimens. What's his name, uh, Thomson was getting the feed and I was gonna administer it. I did a count of the specimens, there were eleven, but that was wrong, because there should have been twelve. So I told Thomson to look at the logs and see if one had been moved to another site. All of a sudden, there's this flash of motion, and next thing I know I'm being pinned down by some of the specimens. I don't remember what happened after that. When I woke up, they were gone, and security was already there. Thomson was lying on the ground bleeding from his mouth. The guards escorted me out.
+
Lennard: So you were attacked by the specimens?
+
Fillis: Basically.
+
Lennard: I understand that these creatures are normally quite docile. What caused this aggressive behavior?
+
Fillis: OK… We've been performing some new testing on the specimens.
+
Lennard: What kind of testing?
+
Fillis: Intelligence testing. Putting them through mazes, training them, that sort of thing.
+
Lennard: And what does this have to do with the breach?
+
Fillis: Everything. These guys were speeding through puzzles, memorizing commands almost instantly. We looked at the data, and these guys are as smart as primates. Smarter even than that, we tried teaching them how to read, how to write, and they picked it up in the blink of an eye.
+
Lennard: I have documentation that says those creatures are no more intelligent than a common tree frog.
+
Fillis: That's what we thought at first. But this testing, it showed that we were dead wrong. They were writing coherent notes to us, they told us what their names were. We gave one of them an IQ test, it scored 127. These things are humans, trapped in the bodies of frogs.
+
Lennard: So what led to their aggressive behavior then?
+
Fillis: I'm not sure. Thomson brought in this kids book with some fairy tales in it. Seemed like they had enjoyed it, but after that, they started getting angry with us. They were… depressed. They wrote notes telling us that we had no right to keep them here, that they needed to be out in the world, they needed to be free.
+
Lennard: What exactly did they expect to be able to accomplish if they were able to escape?
+
Fillis: I don't know.
+
Lennard: Ok, I believe we are done here.
+
Fillis: Wait, before you go, can you tell me what happened to Thomson?
+
Lennard: …I'm sorry, he was killed in the breach. Stray bullet in the chest.
+
Fillis: That's a shame. He was going to bring them another story.
+
<End Log>
+
Closing Statement:Due to the information revealed in the incident, I order all contained instances of SCP-306-1 to be immediately terminated. They are now presenting a major obstacle to successful containment of an already dangerous object.
+-O5-3
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum 5: Dr.████ has found that most samples of SCP-306 display wide-spectrum resistance to antifungals. Upgrade to Keter pending. Upgraded to Keter, ██/██/199█.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3093's state is to be monitored at all times, and all reported sightings of SCP-3093 are to be recorded and sent to Doctors Vaughn and Laika for further research.
+
Should an instance of EE-3093 occur, agents should be dispatched to the area of the anomaly and report all observations to the research team evacuate all civilians immediately and contain witnesses as soon as possible. If any sightings of SCP-3093-A are reported by witnesses, MTF-Mu-13 should be deployed to the location at once.
+
SCP-3093-1 is to be guarded and placed under surveillance for a minimum of 20 hours per day. SCP-3093-1 has been instructed to notify personnel of any recurrences of EE-3093.
+
Description: SCP-3093 is a wavelength of color thought to be located at (105, -101, -23) on the CIELAB colorspace spectrum grid1 that cannot normally be interpreted by the human eye. In rare cases, SCP-3093 can be interpreted by the human eye, although the exact reason why is unknown. It is hypothesized that certain light environments enable the eye to perceive external instances of otherwise invisible light. Subjects reported to have witnessed instances of SCP-3093 describe it as a mixture of intense green and a self-illuminating magenta. Both subjects have referred to the color as "vulvide", despite having never come in contact with each other. Only two people claim to have seen SCP-3093:
+
+
SCP-3093-1 is a C-Class middle-aged man who possesses 20/12.5 vision. SCP-3093-1 wears prescription glasses, which are maintained carefully by the Foundation following his witnessing SCP-3093.
+
SCP-3093-2 is a teenaged girl who possesses 20/20 vision. SCP-3093-2 is the first known witness of the EE-3093 anomaly, and is thus under heavy surveillance since deceased.
+
+
Very rarely, SCP-3093 will accompany an occurrence of EE-3093, as well as an appearance of SCP-3093-A.
+
+
SCP-3093-A is a humanoid figure that has been described by SCP-3093-2 as featureless and bathed in the vulvide color. SCP-3093-A has not been seen by anyone except SCP-3093-2, though its existence has been proven by Dr. Vaughn. SCP-3093-A has not been observed to interact with subjects or attempt contact, and should be considered safe is extremely hostile when provoked and should be avoided at all costs, following Incident 3093-F1-B.
+
+
+
EE-3093 is an anomalous event in which a subject is able to see SCP-3093-A and its activities. The results of the only test conducted provide too little data to prove the exact circumstances under which EE-3093 occurs.
+
+
Interview 3093-A:
+
+
The following is an interview of SCP-3093-1, following the first known sighting of SCP-3093.
+
Doctor Ingrid Laika: So can you please describe this incident?
+
SCP-3093-1: I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. What I saw… it was almost unreal. But it was real. It was real.
+
<Begin Log, 20:00>
+
Dr. Laika: Please detail the situation in which you observed the phenomenon.
+
SCP-3093-1: Well, it had been a long night, and I was passed out on the bed…
+
Dr. Laika: We just need the details of what actually happened, Mr. █████.
+
SCP-3093-1: R-right. Well, I woke up, and the room was bathed in this bizarre light. But all the windows were closed, and the lights were all off. It wasn't coming from anywhere; there was no source… It was just… there.
+
Dr. Laika: Can you describe the nature of this light?
+
SCP-3093-1: It was a color I'd never seen before. It was like a mixture of pink and green, except it wasn't. I still can't recreate it in my mind… I wasn't drunk or high or anything, I swear…
+
Dr. Laika: We know that, sir. We tested your blood when we brought you here.
+
SCP-3093-1: You probably think I'm insane.
+
Dr. Laika: No, I can assure you, we think you're perfectly sane. Now, can you describe anything else you saw?
+
SCP-3093-1: Well, after I got up, the light faded a bit. I thought it was just a hallucination, but then I saw the room. Every surface was covered in blurry vulvide writing-
+
Dr. Laika: Vulvide?
+
SCP-3093-1: Sorry, I don't know why I said that. It just… fits. Doesn't it?
+
Dr. Laika:*mumbling* So the room was covered in writing. Could you identify the language?
+
SCP-3093-1: I couldn't tell, it was like it was permanently out of focus… it looked vaguely like the Greek alphabet, I guess.
+
Dr. Laika: And what happened then?
+
SCP-3093-1: Then it all disappeared. I blinked and the lights and writing were gone.
+
Dr. Laika: And one more thing, Mr. █████. Are you familiar with the girl in this photo?
+
SCP-3093-1: No clue who that is. An old girlfriend of mine? No, actually… who is she?
+
Dr. Laika: I believe that concludes this interview. We'll escort you to your containment cell in a moment.
+
SCP-3093-1: Wait, what? Wait, you said—
+
<End Log, 20:07>
+
+
Interview 3093-B:
+
+
The following is an interview conducted with SCP-3093-2.
+
SCP-3093-2: I don't know why I have to be here, honestly.
+
Doctor Terrence Vaughn: Please cooperate, Miss ██, and you'll be out shortly.
+
<Begin Log, 20:00>
+
Dr. Vaughn: Please describe what you saw.
+
SCP-3093-2: It was a weird light, I think. It just appeared when I blinked.
+
Dr. Vaughn: And what color was the light?
+
SCP-3093-2: I don't know. I guess it was like purply-green? It's not like I was on drugs. Can I go now?
+
Dr. Vaughn: And what other things did you see?
+
SCP-3093-2: You won't believe me.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Say it and let's see. We believe you may have witnessed a spectral anomaly.
+
SCP-3093-2: Okay, well there was writing all over the wall, but I couldn't read any of it. And then—
+
Dr. Vaughn: Was it indecipherable or just blurry?
+
SCP-3093-2: Blurry, it was blurry.
+
Dr. Vaughn: And was there anything—
+
SCP-3093-2: Vulvide… yeah.
+
Dr. Vaughn: I'm sorry?
+
SCP-3093-2: Well if it's a new color, I get to name it, right? I think we should call it vulvide.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Interesting.
+
SCP-3093-2: So I get to name it?
+
Dr. Vaughn: Yes, I suppose so. Informally, at least. The internal designation will remain SCP-3093.
+
SCP-3093-2: Hell, yeah.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Now, please look at this picture. Do you know this man? Answer honestly; this information will not be disclosed.
+
SCP-3093-2: I have no idea who that is. Were you implying that I was… involved with him? God, look at him. He must be, like, 40 or something.
+
Dr. Vaughn: That's not what I meant. This man has witnessed a similar event, and has just described the same color that you claimed to have witnessed as 'vulvide'.
+
SCP-3093-2: What? So… I didn't discover it?
+
Dr. Vaughn: 'Vulvide' has always existed, Miss ██. You're just one of the first to see it.
+
SCP-3093-2: Okay, cool, I guess.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Could you describe the light's source?
+
SCP-3093-2: I don't know if there was one… It was just, everywhere.
+
Dr. Vaughn: And was there anything else?
+
SCP-3093-2: There was someone there, covered in the light. It looked human, but somehow… it wasn't. It was just standing there, motionless in my room. But when the color went away, so did it. I didn't get a good look at it.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Okay, that's all we need. Do you have any questions?
+
SCP-3093-2: Can I leave now?
+
<End Log, 20:09>
+
+
Following this interview, SCP-3093-2 was taken in for further testing.
Subjects: SCP-3093-2, D-9083
+Procedure: Introduce subject to a range of environments with varying light levels and intensities in order to recreate circumstances of anomaly EE-3093. Place subject in 23x23 testing area with dim lighting, with glass two-way window at north end, and equip researchers with taskforce-issue infrared goggles so as to not let light into the chamber.
+
+
<Begin Log, 5:25>
+
Doctor T. Vaughn: Okay, ████, we're going to expose you to our first lighting condition now. Let us know if a similar experience occurs.
+
SCP-3093-2: Fine.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Laika, initiate strobe at frequency 12 for 60 seconds.
+
SCP-3093-2: Ow!! Holy fuck, that's bright.
+
Dr. I. Laika: Are you experiencing anything out of the ordinary?
+
SCP-3093-2: Nothing except for a migraine. Fuck.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Dr. Laika, move on to frequency 18 strobe.
+
SCP-3093-2: Wait, wait, I see it!
+
Dr. Laika: Excellent, early results. Vaughn, catalog EE-3093. ████, please describe to us the color of light you're seeing.
+
SCP-3093-2: It's… so bright, y'know? It's sort of greenish, but when I blink, it turns to some sort of pinkish color…
+
Dr. Laika: Would you say it's self-illuminating?
+
SCP-3093-2: What does that even mean?
+
Dr. Vaughn: Would you say it was brighter than the testing light? Brighter than pure white?
+
SCP-3093-2: I… I guess so. It's— *loud shriek*
+
Dr. Vaughn: It's what?
+
SCP-3093-2: The vulvide person… it's right here. Right in front of me.
+
Dr. Laika: Vaughn, see if you can detect anything on the scanner. Miss ██, can you describe any features of the being?
+
Dr. Vaughn: Can you see any of the symbols on the walls?
+
SCP-3093-2: No, the writing's not there… It's standing there. It's just the shape of a person, no face, no marks, just smooth vulvide light.
+
Dr. Vaughn: There's definitely a slight change in heat signature where she's looking. We can confirm the existence of an as-of-yet Safe anomalous being.
+
Dr. Laika: Okay, bring the guinea pig in. *throat clearing* Attention, D-9083. Please approach SCP-3093-2 in an orderly manner, and position yourself approximately 2 meters away from her. If you refuse to comply, you will be terminated.
+
D-9083: Jeez, I'm gonna have a seizure from this light. Oh, hey, little lady. Whatcha lookin' at?
+
Dr. Vaughn: That's enough, D-9083. Please extend your left arm in front of you.
+
D-Class: What is this, even? There's nothing here. Miss, I can't see what— *loud cries of agony*
+
SCP-3093-2: Oh, my god! Oh, my GOD! It… it just turned around and attacked him! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! *banging*
+
Dr. Laika: D-Class has flatlined. ██, please describe how the anomalous being acted.
+
SCP-3093-2: It… it didn't even move, it just switched from one position to another! Please, just GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
+
Dr. Laika: Please, turn away from the glass and look at the anomaly, Miss ██.
SCP-3093-2: HELP ME, PLEASE!!! It's shifting all over the room. Oh, god, it's writing those symbols again.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Describe the symbols, please!
+
SCP-3093-2: OH, FUCK, IT'S— *screaming*
+
Dr. Laika: Subject SCP-3093-2 has flatlined.
+
Dr. Vaughn: Heat signatures have faded.
+
Dr. Laika: Poor thing. I just wish we could have finished that test…
+
Dr. Vaughn: To hell with that test. We're not touching this again. Did you hear what she said about them? Those things are everywhere, and we can't see them. Who knows what'll provoke them?
+
Dr. Laika: Let's perform an autopsy and see if we can at least find out the cause of death.
+
+
Results: Subject D-9083 is deceased as a result of an instance of EE-3093. Subject SCP-3093-2 is deceased as a result of an instance of EE-3093. Insufficient evidence collected to determine exact circumstances under which EE-3093 occurs.
+Analysis: SCP-3093 and SCP-3093-A classification changed to Euclid. No further testing of SCP-3093 will be conducted.
+
+
Addendum: Autopsy results show evidence of complete shutdown of the nervous system, although no physical incisions or injuries have been exacted on the cranial or spinal areas. The only visible exterior damage was to the corneas of both subjects' eyes, which, when removed, had an encrypted message in Greek letters, which read ΣΗ ΥΣ.
+
When translated, the message reads, simply: SEE US.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3103 is to be contained in an aviary cage in a standard containment chamber, isolated from any other contained specimens on Site-██. During routine check-ups on SCP-3103, researchers must not remain in SCP-3103's chamber for more than 15 minutes at once. Only D-Class may be used as test subjects for SCP-3103 experimentation, and all experiment requests must be sent to the current Site Senior Researcher.
+
Individuals exhibiting anomalous behavior caused by SCP-3103 are to be transferred to a medical ward and carefully examined for sequential psychological changes.
+
Description: SCP-3103 is an adult female specimen of palm cockatoo (Probosciger aterrimus), appearing identical to non-anomalous individuals of the same species.
+
SCP-3103 will exhibit distress-indicating behavior typical of non-anomalous palm cockatoos (producing loud vocalizations, flying around erratically) when a human is within 5 meters of it (note that this only happens if SCP-3103 and the individual are in the same room). Its behavior becomes more erratic as it is approached, and after approximately 20 to 30 minutes, SCP-3103 will return to exhibiting normal behavioral patterns.
+
At this point, the individual in question (hereby referred to as SCP-3103-1) may begin exhibiting anomalous behavioral patterns; affected humans will fall to the ground, flailing their arms and legs in a seemingly random manner and producing high-pitched sounds reminiscent of [REDACTED]. SCP-3103-1 and all humans under this effect are, from this point onward, taken care of by SCP-3103.
+
Attempting to remove SCP-3103-1 from SCP-3103's protection causes it to behave aggressively towards the person who performed such an act. SCP-3103-1 instances will continue displaying anomalous behavioral patterns even after removal from the vicinity of SCP-3103. Additionally, SCP-3103-1 instances exhibit anxious behavior when separated from SCP-3103.
SCP-3103 was found in a cage inside a warehouse in ████, New Guinea, after a police raid on an exotic bird trafficking business, on 04/09/20██. The following footage was extracted from the surveillance system of said warehouse. Footage depicts SCP-3103's effects on a group of smugglers, and viewing is mandatory for all personnel currently involved in SCP-3103's containment or research.
+
+
SCP-3103 RECOVERED SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE
+
The monitor shows a top-view of an approximately 5x5 meter room, where two individuals, PoI-3103-1 ("Kevin") and PoI-3103-2 ("Nick") stand in front of a large pen containing a specimen of a palm cockatoo, SCP-3103. The timestamp reads 03/09/20██, 1:18 PM. SCP-3103 exhibits distress-indicating behavior, flapping its wings, biting the metal bars of its cage, and screeching loudly. PoI-3103-01 holds in his hands three juvenile palm cockatoos (supposedly SCP-3103's offspring) all in a very early stage of physical development.
+
Kevin: I really don't think we should be doing this… I mean, just look at the poor thing.
+
Nick: This is why you never get employed anymore, Kevin. It's just a primal response, in fifteen minutes it won't even remember what fucking happened! Now, get those pests to the van, we're running late on schedule here.
+
Kevin exits the room with the three chicks. SCP-3103 continues to screech as Nick puts on a headphone set, sitting on a chair right next to SCP-3103's cage and staring down at the ground. A van's engine can be heard starting up in the distance, and the noise gets farther and farther away until it is no longer audible. The footage is sped up to timestamp 1:28, just as Nick stands up from his chair, beginning to yell at SCP-3103.
+
Nick: For fuck's sake, will you shut up? I'm supposed to look after you, and if you keep annoying me like this we're going to have some serious-
+
Nick abruptly falls to the ground directly in front of SCP-3103's pen, his headphone set splitting in half on impact with the floor. Nick moves his arms and legs erratically, opening his mouth and screaming in a high-pitched voice. SCP-3103 stops vocalizing and ingests some seeds from its meal bowl. It proceeds to regurgitate them into Nick's mouth, causing him to stop screaming. Nick simply lays on the ground, motionless and staring at SCP-3103. The footage is sped up to timestamp 1:35, just as Kevin re-enters the room.
+
Kevin gives Nick a slight slap on his face, causing him to screech. SCP-3103 loudly vocalizes at Kevin, startling him and making him run out of the room screaming. Kevin returns shortly after with PoI-3103-3 ("Vic") and they both begin attempting to lift Nick off the ground. Nick screeches loudly while SCP-3103 assumes an aggressive stance towards both individuals. Kevin slips on a loose pipe and accidentally lets Nick fall to the ground, and Vic quickly stands back. Nick falls head-first, and a thin trail of blood begins to flow from now unconscious Nick's left ear.
+
Vic: What the fuck were you thinking, Kevin?! Pay attention to your god damn surroundings for once!
+
Kevin: I-I'm sorry Vic… I-I d-don't know what's happening, this isn't normal, why was Nick s-screaming like that?!
+
Vic: Stay here you useless sack of shit… I'm going to go get the first aid kit, keep an eye on the merchandise!
+
Vic leaves the room and a van's engine is heard roaring in the background. Kevin stands up and runs out of the room, only to return thirty seconds later with a panicked look on his face.
+
Kevin: This can't be happening, t-this can't be happening… What the hell am I going to do with this bird? W-what the hell am I going to do with Nick?
+
Kevin leans on a wall, slowly assuming a fetal position. He then begins to sob. The footage speeds up to timestamp 1:59, as Kevin suddenly widens his eyes and begins crawling to SCP-3103, moaning. SCP-3103 once again ingests a relatively large amount of seeds from its bowl, regurgitating them into Kevin's mouth. For the rest of the video, Kevin lays on the ground, occasionally looking around, while Nick is motionless and bleeding. SCP-3103 is serene, seemingly unaware of Nick's state.
+
The footage abruptly ends at timestamp 2:24.
+
+
Closing Statement: PoI-3103-1 was transferred to Site-██'s medical ward for further mental examination; PoI-3103-2 was pronounced deceased on-site, and his corpse was moved to [REDACTED]. PoI-3103-3's current whereabouts are unknown, and Foundation agents in Papua New Guinea have been notified of his involvement with SCP-3103 and the imminent danger of information breach. PoI-3103-3 has been captured and interrogated, claiming that the three PoIs had no previous knowledge of SCP-3103's effects. All non-Foundation personnel (including PoI-3103-3) have been administered Class-A amnestics.
+
SCP-3103's offspring have not yet been located. The Foundation has ordered a thorough search of New Guinea to locate the specimens, though they are very unlikely to be found due to the sheer size and amount of active trafficking rings operating in Oceania.
Special Containment Procedures: The savanna where all known instances of SCP-3171 reside is to remain under Foundation ownership. Cameras are to be hidden within the perimeter and monitored 24/7 by security guards. Thirty remotely-controlled omnidirectional speakers should be placed throughout the property.
+
Researchers should visit instances of SCP-3171 weekly to collect any sacs of fluid that have accumulated within the fruit-like growths at the base. Care must be taken to maintain as little physical contact as possible during this procedure, as excessive contact often leads to rudeness and irritability on the part of SCP-3171.
+
Description: SCP-3171 is an achlorophylous plant from the genus Hydnora. A typical instance of SCP-3171 will have stalks measuring 4-5 meters with four fruitlike growths surrounding the stalk. Lifespan ranges between 2.5-3.5 years. Each instance of SCP-3171 is sapient with intelligence roughly comparable to the average human. SCP-3171 have evolved the ability to rapidly perform mathematical calculations; researchers have observed instances multiplying 90-digit numbers in 1-2 seconds.
+
+
+
A closeup of the fruitlike growths at the base of each SCP-3171.
+
+
+
SCP-3171 communicate by opening and snapping shut the appendages out of which the fruitlike growths at the base of each plant are made. This produces a clicking sound; information is embedded into time differences between successive clicks.
+
SCP-3171 reproduce by releasing spores in the air. To date, the only place where these spores have taken root is the ~9,000m2 savanna on the northeast side of the Zambezi Nature Preserve. Efforts by the Foundation to grow SCP-3171 elsewhere have met with failure.
+
There are currently 457 known instances of SCP-3171. Different instances of SCP-3171 are referred to by attaching a number ranging between 1-457 to the SCP designation.
+
Discovery: SCP-3171 was discovered when Prof. Lachlan White from the University of Auckland placed an .mp3 file containing twenty hours of ambient sounds from a recent trip to the Zambezi preserve on his webpage. A statistical analysis by a student in one of Prof. White's classes detected a pseudorandom component to the pattern of audible clicks within the file. This observation was posted to a public listserv where it came to the attention of Foundation personnel. Amnestics were administered to all involved after it was determined that the pseudorandomness in question was part of an organically produced Diffie–Hellman key exchange1.
+
A team of researchers was assembled by the Foundation and flown to Zambezi to study SCP-3171 in its natural habitat. Over the next 9 months, an automatic translation program for SCP-3171 communications was developed2, as well as software for converting English text into a series of clicks comprehensible to instances of SCP-3171. Speakers were installed within the savanna where SCP-3171 resides in preparation for first contact.
+
Interaction Log: First contact occurred on the evening of 09/08/1997 when Dr. Auden Green, a Foundation employee who had recently completed a thesis on Icelandic verse, ignored instructions from his superiors and communicated directly with SCP-3171.
+
It had been previously discovered that instances of SCP-3171 spent the vast majority of their time composing something akin to poetry; this discovery led to the addition of several team members with literary backgrounds, Dr. Green among them. The poetry composed by instances of SCP-3171 typically consists of persistent repetition of a small number of words in apparently nonsensical order. When a bout of food poisoning left Dr. Green alone at the observation post, he used the opportunity to interject himself into a conversation between instances of SCP-3171 and broadcast a poem of his own creation3.
SCP-3171-234: Moon Sun Moon.
+Moon Sun Moon.
+Moon Moon Darkness.
+
There is a pause lasting approximately three seconds, followed by applause4.
+
SCP-3171-446: Sun Sun Moon.
+Moon Sun Sun.
+Moon Darkness Moon.
+
Another pause lasting approximately three seconds, followed by lighter applause.
+
Dr. Green: Sun Moon Moon.
+Sun Moon Moon.
+Darkness Darkness Moon.
+
There is a pause lasting approximately fifteen seconds.
+
SCP-3171-053: That is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
+
+
+
+
+
After learning of Dr. Green’s unauthorized communication, Dr. Wang (head of the linguistics team stationed at Zambezi) made a more formal attempt at an interspecies greeting.
Dr. Wang: But we are not like the animals that roam your grounds. Like you, we have evolved intelligence. Understanding. Self-awareness.
+
+Dr. Wang: We wish to talk. Exchange ideas. Interact.
+
There is approximately a minute of private communications among instances of SCP-3171.
+
SCP-3171-128: Cloud and Earth. Wind and Sun. Blue and Red.
+
Dr. Wang: I don’t understand. Can you explain?
+
SCP-3171-003: Violent Sunset. Peaceful Sky. Heat. Life.
An additional minute is spent by instances of SCP-3171 in private conversation.
+
SCP-3171-241: Animal, say something valuable.
+
SCP-3171-033: Animal, tell us a poem.
+
After a silence of approximately 15 seconds, Dr. Wang broadcasts the first stanza of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poem, Patience Taught by Nature.
+
Dr. Wang: “Oh Dreary life!” we cry, “O dreary life!”
+And still the generations of the birds
+Sing through our sighing, and the flocks and herds
+Serenely live while we are keeping strife
+With Heaven’s true purpose in us, as a knife
+Against which we struggle.
+
Dr. Wang’s recitation is followed by approximately 90 seconds of silence.
+
SCP-3171-341: Strange.
+
Dr. Wang: Would you like to hear more?
+
SCP-3171-341: No.
+
SCP-3171-241: No.
+
+
+
+
+
For a period of roughly two years after the conversation with Dr. Wang, attempts by the Foundation to communicate with SCP-3171 were met with silence.
+
Foundation interest in SCP-3171 increased dramatically after discovery that fluid sacs occasionally secreted within the fruitlike growths of SCP-3171 can be used in the production of amnestics. The anatomical purpose of these secretions is unknown. Numerous messages proposing mutually beneficent trade terms were broadcast to SCP-3171 without response.
+
Since the Foundation's botanical experts were uncertain as to whether they could compel SCP-3171 to produce the desired fluid sacs by force, coercive approaches were temporarily ruled out. Instead, a team of internationally acclaimed poets was employed to produce works inspired by translations of SCP-3171 utterances. It was believed that SCP-3171 did not consider communication with humanity worthwhile and that the production of a poem considered meaningful by SCP-3171 would change that. However, poetry produced by this team failed to elicit any response from SCP-3171. Parallel attempts to produce poems using machine learning protocols did not fare any better.
+
Foundation efforts met with their first success at 3:30 AM 11/12/1999, when Mr. Cullen Williams, a junior researcher assigned to the botanical team, attempted to communicate with SCP-3171 in a state of inebriation5.
Mr. Williams is heard fumbling with the dials for the first two minutes of the recording.
+
Mr. Williams: Yo SCPs! How's it hangin', my dawgs?6
+
Mr. Williams: Well, here I am… housesitting a fucking plant.
+
Mr. Williams: Not what I thought I'd be doing at this point in my life.
+
Mr. Williams: Alice is gonna to be so pissed when she finds out I'm broadcasting.
+
+Mr. Williams giggles for approximately 10 seconds.
+
Mr. Williams: Serves her right.
+
Mr. Williams: Women. I sure know how to pick em.
+
There is a pause lasting approximately 40 seconds.
+
Mr. Williams: Thanksgiving's not that far.
+
Mr. Williams: Can't wait to go home and leave all this bullshit for a while.
+
Mr. Williams: I miss Frosty's. Little ice cream place across the street from where I grew up. Do you shrubs even know what ice cream is?
+
+Mr. Williams: Probably not.
+
+Mr. Williams: Frooooooosties!
+
Mr. Williams giggles briefly.
+
Mr. Williams: Ah, good times.
+
Mr. Williams: The gunk they call ice cream here is some kind of wet slop.
+
+Mr. Williams: Frosty's gives you a bowl. Chocolate, vanilla, caramel, espresso. I always get the biggest size to share with mom.
+
Mr. Williams' soliloquy is interrupted by the rhythmic sound of clicking coming from over 350 instances of SCP-31717.
Upon learning of this exchange the following morning, site leaders (Dr. Wang and Mr. Jackson, head of the botany division) were surprised to see approximately one-hundred attempts at private communication from instances of SCP-3171 logged during the previous night. Mr. Jackson conducted the ensuing investigation which revealed that:
+
+
Although instances of SCP-3171 share liquids via networks of interlacing root structures, in the unlikely event that one of its own spores takes root close by, an instance of SCP-3171 will refuse to share liquids with it.
+
Exceptions to the previous item occur exceedingly rarely, and only by instances located at the far edges of the savanna disconnected from the main component of the root structure.
+
+
It is conjectured that the act of sharing sustenance with family members has the nature of a sexual taboo among SCP-3171. While all instances of SCP-3171 express disgust at the notion publicly (as when Mr. Williams mentioned sharing a bowl of ice cream with his mother), in private many of them will request to hear detailed accounts of such “incestuous” encounters by Foundation personnel.
+
Building on these insights, Mr. Jackson developed a protocol for one-on-one interaction with instances of SCP-3171.
Mr. Jackson: I had dinner with my sister last week.
+
+SCP-3171-213: Oooh!
+
Mr. Jackson: We shared a milkshake, taking turns sipping from the same straw.
+
+SCP-3171-213: You mud-stained whore.
+
+SCP-3171-213: I bet you always exchange fluids at first rainfall.
+
Mr. Jackson: Indeed, that is me. Whenever it rains, I make my way around the neighborhood, fluid exchange foremost on my mind.
+
+Mr. Jackson: In any case, the milkshake was delicious. Both I and my sister greatly enjoyed sharing it.
+
SCP-3171-213: Aaahh!
+
Video imagery of SCP-3171-213 shows it releasing spores coincident with the final utterance. Four sacks of fluid were collected by Mr. Jackson the following day.
+
+
+
+
+
As of 1/1/2015, the Foundation employs 87 personnel to interact with SCP-3171 according to Mr. Jackson's protocol, generating approximately 400 kg of SCP-3171 secretions per annum.
To the overseer council: our approach towards SCP-3171 is patently unethical. The "services" we render in exchange for fluid sacs are an affront to human (as well as plant) dignity. Foundation resources should be reallocated to research into the value system and poetry of SCP-3171. — Dr. Wang
+
Alice: out of all the morally questionable stuff we do here, this one isn’t in the top hundred that keep me up at night. Denied. O5-██
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-376 is to remain in the Secure Agriculture Facility at Site-██. It is to be linked to a single underground electric cable that is to be powered by a single generator not attached to the main power grid. There is no need for any additional security measures to contain SCP-376 other than the existing security at the Secure Agriculture Facility.
+
Description: SCP-376 appears to be an irregular traffic light with an excessive amount of components attached, resembling more of a tree than a standard traffic light. However, SCP-376 is not a man-made object, but is in fact a naturally occurring organism. It is currently unknown how or why SCP-376 has managed to mimic the appearance of a traffic light.
+
Testing has revealed that the exterior of SCP-376 is composed of organic material rather than steel, similar to wood found in regular trees. The bark that it produces hardens to form a protective coating around SCP-376 that takes the appearance of steel. However, while the bark does appear and feel like steel to the touch, it is not nearly as strong, being only able to withstand stresses similar to regular tree bark. The light that SCP-376 produces is a form of bio-luminescence, which it is able to manipulate to glow in the three colors commonly associated with traffic lights: red, green, and yellow. SCP-376 is somehow able to control which light activates and does so in a predictable sequence, though it is not known how or why.
+
Extended observation of SCP-376 shows that it has an uncontrolled growth rate, necessitating constant care and trimming. Each individual traffic light begins as a bud, but will quickly mature into a full size traffic light within several minutes. The appearance of a new light on SCP-376 typically happens every nine to ten days. Removing one of the lights causes it to cease functioning, and the wound caused in SCP-376 will immediately be closed by growing extra bark. If left alone, the detached light will eventually biodegrade and rot like any other organism.
+
Unlike other plants, SCP-376 does not use photosynthesis to sustain itself. Instead, its roots will dig through the pavement and ground towards the nearest power line. SCP-376's roots are capable of penetrating underground power lines and patching into them, effectively attaching itself to the local power grid. SCP-376 uses the electricity it obtains as the primary energy to create its food.
+
In terms of reproduction, SCP-376 has a unique method of propagating itself. Rather than using regular spores or seeds, SCP-376 is able to transfer "seedlings" through the power grid it is connected to, meaning that a new instance of SCP-376 can be created anywhere the power lines reach. For further information, see Experiment Log 376A.
+
SCP-376 was found during rush hour in ██████████, California on a busy intersection. The entire event was explained as an art exhibition and SCP-376 was promptly relocated to its current location in the Secure Agriculture Facility.
+
Experiment Log 376A: Once it was discovered that SCP-376 required electricity to survive, it was attached to Site-██'s power grid. This mistake was quickly realized when on-site staff began reporting the appearance of additional traffic lights scattered around the facility. Once these lights were removed, SCP-376 was connected to a separate power grid that was laid under a specially constructed test area. After analyzing the results, it was discovered that SCP-376 is somehow able to discern which areas it can grow without arousing undue suspicion. All recorded test subjects were reported to grow in areas where traffic light placement would be logical. There is currently no explanation to how SCP-376 is able to control where it grows so effectively.
+
Experiment Log 376B: After continued testing, it became known that SCP-376 is not restricted to just traffic lights. After several weeks of observation, it was noted that additional structures began appearing. So far, the forms instances of SCP-376 can take include but are not limited to: Fire hydrants, power lines, street lights, and street signs.
+
Experiment Log 376C: After additional testing and observation, it was discovered that the SCP-376 currently contained is an abnormality, even among its own kind. DNA comparison between itself and other subjects show that it is suffering from some kind of defect that causes it to grow uncontrollably, which could explain how it was discovered so quickly.
+
Addendum 1: After cross-analyzing Department of Transportation records and total national power consumption, Foundation analysts have estimated that there may be as many as [DATA EXPUNGED] instances of SCP-376 in the continental United States alone. Containment teams are currently being mobilized to search for these instances.
Special Containment Procedures: Provisional Site 3779 has been constructed around SCP-3779 to serve as its containment facility. Provisional Site 3779 consists of a perimeter fence, personnel quarters, and 2 research buildings.
+
Plants within SCP-3779 are to be watered according to each species' requirements, and adequate sunlight should be able to reach all of the plants within. If necessary, UV lamps can be placed on the outside of SCP-3779 facing in. Personnel permitted to enter SCP-3779 are to conduct equipment checks before and after entering the structure to ensure no objects are left within.
+
In the event that an unauthorized object is left within SCP-3779, containment teams are to extract the object as quickly as possible. Necessary force is to be used, though teams should attempt to limit as much damage to the structure as possible.
+
+
+
SCP-3779 (pictured on the left) during the initial containment phase.
+
+
+
Description: SCP-3779 is a 47 square meter greenhouse located in southwestern Iowa. Within SCP-3779 are various species of potted flora, either hanging from hooks attached to the ceiling or resting on tables or shelves. Written on the inside walls of SCP-3779 in black paint are 8 glyphs of unknown meaning and origin1.
+
When a foreign object2 is introduced to SCP-3779, the plants within will begin to exhibit some of the properties of the object.3 The means by which SCP-3779 chooses which properties to gain is currently unknown. Over the course of approximately 12 hours, SCP-3779 plants will change their properties to match those of the introduced object. If given enough time, the properties of plants within SCP-3779 can match those of the introduced objects.
+
Upon the removal of the foreign object, SCP-3779 plants will return to their original states over the course of 4-6 hours. Plants which die within SCP-3779 will no longer exhibit their anomalous properties. In the event that an adapted plant is removed from SCP-3779, it will decay similarly to non-anomalous plants, albeit at a much faster rate. Plants introduced to SCP-3779 will not be mimicked; instead, they will behave like plants already within SCP-3779.
+
Experiment Logs:
+
+
Test #: 3779-01-672001
+Setup: A 1 meter portion of a standard steel I-Beam is placed within SCP-3779 and left for 9 hours.
+Results: The tensile strength of all plants within SCP-3779 increased by a factor of 10 and the colors of the plants shifted towards that of the I-Beam.
+
+
+
Test #: 3779-02-672001
+Setup: A 0.25 m3 block of ice is placed within a container and then into SCP-3779 and left for 7 hours.
+Results: Over the course of the preliminary 6 hours, the plants within SCP-3779 gained some of the properties of the ice. As the ice melted, the molecules making up the plants detached from their structures through unknown means and behaved like a liquid. When the water was removed, the pools of plant material reformed into their pre-experiment forms.
+
+
+
Test #: 3779-03-692001
+Setup: A laboratory mouse (Mus musculus) is placed within SCP-3779 and left for 7 hours.
+Results: After 5 hours, SCP-3779 plants developed structures containing photoreceptor cells which emanate from various locations on their stems. After 6 hours, plants developed funnel-like structures which resemble the ears of the laboratory mouse which emanate from various locations on their stems, though no further structures were observed.
+
+
+
Test #: 3779-04-6112001
+Setup: D-80801, a 32-year-old Caucasian male, was placed within SCP-3779 and instructed to sit and wait until further notice.
+Results: After 9 hours, SCP-3779 plants had developed complex and fully-functional visual, auditory, and somatic 'organs' across all structures of the plants. After 10 hours, SCP-3779 plants began to develop muscular structures, allowing them to move their stems and stem branches. After 11 hours, D-80801 was instructed to remove an ocular organ from one of the plants. While attempting to do this, the plant in question wrapped an extraneous vine around D-80801's neck and strangled him to death. Following the death of D-80801, plants within SCP-3779 became inert and began to imitate decaying flesh in a manner similar to that of D-80801's body.
Filename: greenhouse.jpg
+Name: Fields and Greenhouse at Darling Hill Community Fatrm, Greenville NH USA, June 2008.jpg
+Author: James Giddings
+License: CC0
+Source Link:Wikimedia Commons
Special Containment Procedures: No individual Foundation agents are to occupy SCP-3835 for longer than fourteen consecutive hours. Personnel are not permitted to re-enter SCP-3585 until such time as their blood has a tetrahydrocannabinol level of no more than 2.5 ng / mL. Personnel assigned to SCP-3835 are to remain under the influence of at least 200mg of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) for the duration of their shift. MTF Delta-20 ("Blaze It") is to patrol the perimeter surrounding SCP-3835 under the guise of local forest rangers.
+
Varying strains of THC are provided upon request.
+
Description: SCP-3835 is a non-Euclidean1 Papa John's Pizza located within a pollard beech tree in Catskill, New York. While normally imperceptible to the human eye, a door leading to SCP-3835's interior can be accessed while subjects are experiencing the effects of THC.
+
The interior of SCP-3835 resembles a non-anomalous Papa John's with one major difference; all windows, save for the small window within the door leading to the interior, are covered with bark. Pizzas prepared within SCP-3835 are comprised of wood, pine sap, and an unknown substance that are combined and physically transmuted within the on-site oven, though the exact nature of how this is accomplished is unknown. These pizzas, once processed, are indistinguishable from non-anomalous Papa John's brand pizza and can be purchased using non-anomalous currency or through bartering with an SCP-3835-1 instance.
+
SCP-3835-1 instances are green bipedal entities averaging a height between 0.9 and 1.2 meters. All SCP-3835-1 instances wear attire identical to that of standard-issue Papa John's uniforms. SCP-3835-1 instances are capable of speaking both English as well as an unknown, consonant-heavy language.
+
Interview SCP-3835-1 "Tristan"
+SCP-3835 was discovered by Junior Researcher Umar Hadid during his leave of absence following the Post-Containment Incident. He was awarded a Greenhead Explorer Award and was granted permission to document the anomaly before returning to his leave.
+
Junior Researcher Hadid entered SCP-3835, accompanied by an armed escort comprised of members of MTF Delta-20. Upon the completion of his order2, an SCP-3835-1 instance agreed to an interview during its allotted break period. The following interview has been attached below.
+
+
Interviewer: Junior Researcher Umar Hadid
+
Interviewed: SCP-3835-1
+
<Begin Log>
+
J.R. Hadid: Alright dude, can you uh…
+
SCP-3835-1: ( Speaking an unknown language )
+
( There are several seconds of silence. Junior Researcher Hadid coughs several times and sniffles. )
+
J.R. Hadid: You. Name, please.
+
SCP-3835-1: Horith Ramos of House Valkayn. You've asked me that six times now.
+
J.R. Hadid: Sorry, I'm a little… cloudy.
+
( SCP-3835-1 nods and leans back in its chair. It pulls out a pocket knife and a small, semi-carved statue from its pocket and begins whittling. Delta 20 Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Echo take their seats at the adjacent table and observe SCP-3835-1. J.R. Hadid coughs and shakes his head. )
+
J.R. Hadid: What are you doing?
+
Horse SCP-3835-1: What, never seen a goblin whittle on his break before?
+
J.R. Hadid: I mean what are you doing here in this fucking tree?
+
SCP-3835-1: Running a Papa John's.
+
( J.R. Hadid leans his head back and sighs. )
+
J.R. Hadid: Look man, I'm just trying to get some work done so can you please give me a straightforward answer.
+
Horith SCP-3835-1: Let me ask you this, buddy. Why are you here? In our place? You and your friends got your pizza, you got your interview, got my name, what else do you want?
+
J.R. Hadid: An explanation.
+
( SCP-3835-1 scoffs. )
+
SCP-3835-1: For what? It ain't my business what you business affairs you pursue. Why are you so nosey?
+
J.R. Hadid: We're scien- we- we're scientists. Are you safe?
+
( SCP-3835-1 hands the now completed wooden sculpture to Delta 20-Alpha, who hands it to Beta. The sculpture animates and proceeds to move in a rhythmic manner that would suggest it is dancing. Beta, Gamma, and Echo are laughing. Alpha's attention remains focused on SCP-3835-1. )
+
( J.R. Hadid attempts to signal to Alpha but is unsuccessful. SCP-3835-1 frowns, pulls out a small block of wood and begins carving into it. )
+
SCP-3835-1: You know, what's funny? We were safe for a long time before you got involved. Those hairy fucks tried to wipe us out centuries ago. Our cousinsgraciously closed the well off before we could escape into the forest. Left us on this side of the shit show.
+
J.R. Hadid: What happened?
+
HoithHorseHorith SCP-3835-1: They stole our names and fled, that's what. We had to improvise. By the time the big boys figured out where we went, well, they were too mellowed out to do anything about it. Couldn't stay focused long enough. Eventually, after enough of 'em went missing, we were at peace.
+
J.R. Hadid: Was this always ( He coughs ) a Papa John's?
+
SCP-3835-1: No. But times changed. Your kind likes their pizza, and my kind aims to deliver. Unlike DiGornio.
+
( J.R. Hadid laughs. SCP-3835-1 does not look up from its wooden carving. )
+
SCP-3835-1: And, you know after a while we stopped hearing from folks. Stopped seeing those behemoths. Stopped hearing from our friends and family. Started gettin' hungry.
+
J.R. Hadid: What'd you do?
+
( The initial statue returns to SCP-3835-1 with four wallets. Beta, Gamma, and Echo laugh. Alpha continues to stare as she consumes a slice of Hawaiian pizza. SCP-3835-1 stores the wallets in its pant pocket. )
+
SCP-3835-1: Made deals with the locals for food, money to buy food, construction efforts, you know how society works. And now…
+
( SCP-3835-1 sets the second statue on the table between it and J.R. Hadid. The second statue becomes animated and rolls tetrahydrocannabinol residue within a napkin. Using anomalous means, the statue lights the end of the rolled napkin before handing it to J.R. Hadid. )
+
SCP-3835-1: ( Rifling through the content of the wallets. ) Well, we all make a living somehow.
Special Containment Procedures: By agreement with the United States and Marshall Islands governments, the Foundation has established Site-68 on Kwajalein Atoll for SCP-3891 containment. Two Foundation Cyclone-class patrol vessels (SCPS Arethusa and SCPS Leander) with aviation support are to enforce a perimeter 50km from SCP-3891, with the cover of a US military restricted zone. Any civilian vessels or aircraft approaching this area are to be rerouted. Under no circumstances are vessels or aircraft, Foundation or otherwise, to enter within 10km of SCP-3891, or attempt to view SCP-3891 with magnification aids.
+
Direct viewing of photographs, video records, or SCP-3891 itself is prohibited prior to cognitohazard risk assessment. Publicly available map and satellite data has been altered to remove images of SCP-3891, with Foundation webcrawler 3891-PAUL tasked to search and remove any online images. All images of SCP-3891 are to be digitally analysed and converted into textual descriptions by an automated system, with the original information stored in the Site-68 archives protected by standard cognitohazard precautions.
+
No communication is to be attempted with any individuals on SCP-3891, and persons who have completed travel there are to be considered deceased. All other individuals subject to SCP-3891's effects should be administered Class-C amnestics, and terminated if effects persist.
+
Description: SCP-3891 is a coral atoll at coordinates [REDACTED] in the Marshall Islands. It consists of 13 islands surrounding a central lagoon, with a total land area of 3.8km2. Viewing SCP-3891 both in reality or recordings is cognitohazardous with an intensity proportional to the distance of the viewer or recording from SCP-3891. This effect involves heightened fear responses, pessimistic and hopeless thought patterns, and a belief that the world is either experiencing or approaching some form of apocalyptic scenario consistent with the subject's premorbid belief system. For example, highly religious individuals tend towards thoughts related to eschatological events, whereas individuals who closely follow geopolitical and military matters may develop heightened concerns about thermonuclear war. This is combined with a perception that SCP-3891 is a place of safety and a desire to approach it; it is unclear whether this desire is a component of SCP-3891's cognitohazardous nature or an expected result of its primary effect.
+
A distance of 10km is the maximum observed range for this effect to occur, and at this point it is reversible with amnestics. However, if subjects successfully reach SCP-3891, its cognitohazardous effects become permanent. Subjects affected in this manner invariably believe that human civilisation and often the Earth itself (with the exception of SCP-3891) have been destroyed by some form of end-of-the-world scenario. If forcibly taken to areas outside of SCP-3891, they will perceive these as having been destroyed, and other individuals as hallucinations, paranormal entities or occasionally survivors (who they will attempt to convince to return to SCP-3891).
+
Since coming to Foundation attention, 191 individuals, including [REDACTED] Foundation personnel, are known to have travelled to SCP-3891. Although the cognitohazardous properties of SCP-3891 preclude detailed investigation, these individuals are presumed deceased given the inability of SCP-3891 to support any significant population for extended periods of time.
+
+
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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT IS LEVEL 4/3891 CLASSIFIED
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ATTEMPTS TO ACCESS THIS DOCUMENT WITHOUT LEVEL 4/3891 AUTHORISATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
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BY ACCESSING THIS DOCUMENT YOU CONSENT TO LATER AMNESTIC TREATMENT.
Addendum: Via remote surveillance and automated data transcription of recordings, a number of additional anomalous effects relating to SCP-3891 have been observed. SCP-3891 has a permanent population of between 250 and 300 individuals, who subsist on naturally occurring resources on the atoll. SCP-3891 has an anomalous abundance of these, including fish, plants and fauna (primarily various species of birds, as well as introduced animals such as pigs and chickens). Despite a gradual growth in the population of SCP-3891 and available data reaching back to the mid-20th century, no depletion of these stocks has been observed.
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Other anomalous effects observed on SCP-3891 itself include the following:
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lack of biological ageing amongst its inhabitants, with several matching the descriptions of missing persons from as early as the 1920s
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rapid regeneration of injuries and resistance to disease
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lack of visible particulate contamination of the water, inconsistent with the waste expected to be produced by the population
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resistance to extreme weather, observed in 1991 when Typhoon Paka passed over the area without causing any visible effects on SCP-3891 or its inhabitants
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an absence of violence or disharmony amongst its inhabitants, despite the presence of those from backgrounds which would have historically been considered hostile to one another1
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inhabitants demonstrating anomalously high levels of subjective wellbeing and spiritual contentment
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being a place of safety, free from the troubles of the world
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The society observed on SCP-3891 practices a hunter-gatherer lifestyle, but with a significant amount of leisure time given the widespread availability of resources on SCP-3891. The language of communication is a previously unknown creole mixture of English, Marshallese and Japanese, presumably originating from the backgrounds of SCP-3891 inhabitants. There is no evidence of any social hierarchy or formal leadership structure, likely due to the lack of disputes. Most inhabitants are polyamorous, but with childbirth being only rarely observed.2 Activities of the SCP-3891 society involve water-based leisure activities, beach sports, various festivals involving food and dance, visual arts, and reading books previously brought to the island. Sounds beautiful, doesn't it?
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I've had enough of all this. If you're reading this, you must have access to the database, just like I do. Haven't you seen what's happening here? It's all falling apart. There are hundreds of Keter entities that could end the world any day now, and the numbers just keep growing by the day. Don't tell me you think we can keep a lid on everything forever. Even if we do our jobs, just look at what's happening all over the world, with politicians and generals and the rest of the self-styled elite running 'civilisation' into the ground. There's nothing we in the Foundation are going to do to stop that.
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They say SCP-3891 makes you believe the world is going to end, but you don't need an SCP to believe that. Everyone knows this will happen, sooner or later. There's no danger here; this is the only place in the world without it.
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I'm going to go as soon as I can, but this is my gift to you, and everyone else who reads this file.
Do you have approval from IntSCPFN database listings managers?
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SCP objects may not be formally documented in the International SCP Foundation Network's database until the document has been reviewed by the appropriate personnel. In order to create an SCP document without breaching publications protocols, your Site Director must first approve the object for inclusion on the database and listings managers must review and approve your draft.
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This slot is out of range. This Item # cannot yet be used for an SCP document. This page has semi-protected editing restrictions.
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Text cannot be uploaded to this page unless full user account permissions are active. Uploading files to this page will automatically notify database screening personnel.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4361's potential to reveal or retain sensitive and classified information is reliably contained at Site-15 by ambly.OP.ia, an autonomous software-based protocol.1
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ambly.OP.ia is hosted in a small, Faraday-shielded2 Site-15 server farm. A team of six on-site personnel have keycard authorization from Dr. Markos or the current team lead. Daily, one member of authorized personnel must visit the server farm to view the physical readout panel at the entrance. If the panel's LED is green, no action is required. If it is red or orange, personnel will convene with Dr. Markos or the current team lead to determine whether software maintenance, a firmware update, or a restoration from backup servers is required.
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Directly observing SCP-4361-AV-X, regardless of clearance, is forbidden.
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Description: SCP-4361 is an entity that generates a four-second YouTube video each time its most recent YouTube video is observed.3 The complete known set of video instances have been collectively designated as SCP-4361-AV-X.
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Observing SCP-4361's latest video triggers a spatial-temporal anomaly that allows SCP-4361 to superimpose a new visual element onto its previous video using a file obtained from the viewer's computer. SCP-4361 will retrieve images or text for this purpose from the viewer's local storage, network-protected storage, or remote servers to which the viewer is or has been connected. This retrieval can bypass any known file encryption or electronic security.
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SCP-4361's ability to access data is connected to the viewer, not the machine used to watch the video. SCP-4361's range of access increases correlative to the frequency or duration of SCP-4361-AV-X observation. It has been hypothesized that prolonged exposure to SCP-4361-AV-X may introduce cognitive hazards.
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Video metadata, including the uploader username, video description, etc., are composed of malformed character strings. On March 13, 2019, Dr. Markos, in conjunction with MTF Mu-4 "Debuggers" liaisons, deemed this metadata irrelevant to future containment.
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SCP-4361-AV-X instances may contain both previous and current viewer data as well as data apparently produced procedurally or deliberately by SCP-4361, rarely including compressed audio. Details on non-viewer data are noted in former team lead Dr. Gina Handon's personnel file and personal log, archived within this file.
PERSONAL LOG: DR. GINA HANDON, FORMER SCP-4361 RESEARCH TEAM LEAD, SITE-15
+Entries not pertaining to SCP-4361 have been omitted. Sample audiovisual assets provided for reference when relevant.
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ENTRY: 2018-09-26T18:00:33
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Screenshot of SCP-4361-AV-1, provided by former site researcher Dr. Erik Sol. Classified information was redacted on retrieval.
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Well, Erik's been fired. Or transferred, I guess; they never tell me which. We've granted a provisional designation of "SCP-4361" to whatever stole his local copy of Procedure 4715-Waning Moon. God knows what that was doing in his damn Downloads folder. God only knows why he opened a YouTube link out of his personal email account while connected to the VPN.
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Oh well. I'll need to find someone else willing to save me one of the good bagels in the morning.
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Gotta love the email subject, though: "you'll love this honey just like our dear old Sally xoxo -mom FWD:: watch this video." Erik's mom never learned to punctuate, I guess. Not that I should throw stones; Mom has to ask me how to find her text messages every time I'm home.
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Sally is a sweetheart, from the looks of the photo. Reminds me of Ginger, Mom's cat, before she jumped off the banister.
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SCP-4361-AV-1 — that's how we're labeling the video — is bad news for Erik, but not that interesting in itself. Mu-4 sent techs our way to help scrub the classified data. No full task force involvement, not yet; it's just one video, not a crime scene.
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ENTRY: 2018-09-28T21:33:01
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SCP-4361 made another video. Sort of. We had a D-class load AV-1 on his personal computer, and it spit out a new video instead, with all the same images as the last one except for a… very personal photo from the D-class's laptop. Guy turned the color of shiraz when we made him open the original file to confirm its origin. Even put his hand up to try to cover up his wife's…
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…well, anyway, SCP-4361-AV-2 is logged, and I think we've confirmed the temporal-spatial-anomaly aspect. Metadata confirms that as far as YouTube's concerned, this is the only video SCP-4361's ever made, and it's never been edited.
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I think I made the new guy angry, by the way. He was going out for coffee, so I asked him if he could get me a soy latte, and when he asked me what size, I just sort of snorted and pointed at him. I'm such a jerk about names.
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I'll need to sit with him this week and have a proper introduction like the professional I supposedly am. We'll need to coordinate schedules; he's working with the Mu-4 contingent on containment procedures for 4361. He's young, but confident. Hopefully just a few more entries on this one before we mark it Safe and put it in the proverbial box.
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NOTE TO SELF: Buy cat litter on the way home. Also, stop leaving your paper calendar at home. You never remember things when you write them here.
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ENTRY: 2018-10-15T05:56:40
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Venti insists I call him "Dr. Markos" and that he call me "Dr. Handon." Ugh. I think it's an assert-dominance thing, even though he's an assistant junior who walked in here five minutes ago and I'm heading up the team. "Real professionals would address each other" blah blah. Men.
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He acts more task-force than researcher — very formal, goes on about multi-tiered Faraday cages or whatever lock-down containment plans he's brewing, before we even know what we're trying to contain. Plus he's making buddies with all the Mu-4 crawling around these days. It's a full task force commission now. Hackers with assault rifles make for a… tense break room environment.
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SCP-4361 shouldn't be that interesting to them — yet, anyway. We logged another quirk in the anomaly today: It's not purely web-based. Had another D-class watch the videos a few dozen times, using computers he used regularly and a few he'd never touched before. By the nineteenth iteration, SCP-4361 displayed a text file that wasn't on any of those computers. A poem, fourteen lines long. Not half bad if you're into sonnets. Billy (the D-class; nice guy, for a drug runner) squealed and said that he kept the poem in a "secret folder" on his home desktop.
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On the twenty-seventh iteration, it showed a photo of Billy hugging █████ ████████. Billy laughed, then squealed again, louder this time. Said he'd never met her, that the photo was impossible. Then he said he had a crush on █████ ████████, from back when she was a child pop star and he was a preteen. (God, Billy is as young as my niece. I wish we had more old-fogey D-class here.)
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Now, Billy might be lying — Yannis is working on corroboration — but it's hard to prove a negative. We could end up flagging 4361 as an infohazard, but I don't think it's urgent. I halted the test, though, mostly so we can re-test Billy in a few weeks to see if the effects reset — to see if SCP-4361 "forgets" him, so to speak.
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ENTRY: 2018-10-16T14:11:39
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Source photograph for image render noted in SCP-4361-AV-640 on October 16.
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SCP-4361 grabbed a photo of Henrietta today. The one from years ago, where she's licking her paw; one of my favorites.
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I laughed at my desk and Venti turned, saw it, and screamed at me (!) that it was improper to use my own device to view an instance. I told him it was a personal cell phone, I told him I'd never connected it to the Foundation network, and I told him to mind his own damn business, but he was ranting all the way down the hallway.
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HR still hasn't responded to my request to have him transferred. He's probably some O5's nephew, knowing my luck.
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ENTRY: 2018-10-21T10:02:59
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Billy was lying; it didn't steal his dream, he's just good at Photoshop - but. But. Something else is going on. We think it — I think it —
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…
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I'll be back after the testing.
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ENTRY: 2018-10-21T13:50:01
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Christ, 4361 is alive. It's — no. I think 4361 is sentient.
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Billy's first re-test instance, SCP-4361-AV-502, had audio. Every other video has been mute. We were so caught off guard that we didn't even record it the first time. In the next instance, the audio was murkier, decaying faster than the images usually do. Still, you could hear it clearly:
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"You came back. Thank you. Please."
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She — it — sounded like a young woman, maybe seventeen. Hard to be sure through the distortion.
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Dr. Markos went off, of course. He kept saying we should quarantine the audio. Insisted it was as bad as a containment breach. I had to get Yannis to walk him out of the room like a damn nightclub bouncer. The Mu-4 sergeant — Daniels, I think? — stared at the door after they'd walked out, stuck in a useless daze. Why are they still here?
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At least now they can be productive. I had Daniels put his team on tracing a voice origin. A movie clip, a podcast, a home video; anything that matches the vocal profile.
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I don't think they'll find one, but it'll keep them busy.
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It sounded… scared. Lonely.
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So much for the proverbial box.
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ENTRY: 2018-11-14T15:48:19
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I'm noting this for the record: Dr. Venti Markos wants research on SCP-4361 halted immediately. He logged a formal request, which I denied, of course. Then he yelled. Which I ignored. Of course.
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We think it can "see" the data, but we don't know if it can parse meaning. We tried some A/B testing. I think its favorite color is red. It definitely prefers cats to dogs. (Or, at least, prefers Henrietta to Yannis's schnauzer. I guess it liked Erik's old cat, too. God, I miss Erik.)
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No name yet; no audio at all since AV-502.
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We'll keep trying.
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ENTRY: 2018-12-18T18:02:01
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VIDEO TRANSCRIPT.
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Dr. Handon sits at a desk in a bare room, facing a laptop computer. A microphone is taped down to one of the laptop's speakers. The camera faces the laptop monitor; a YouTube video channel is visible. Most prominent in the video image is the word "TALK".
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DR. HANDON: OK, let's get started. This — well, it just happened but I wasn't — I should have been (mumbling) need a proper record. OK so this is Gina, it's December 18, blah blah I don't have time for this.
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Dr. Handon clicks on the laptop trackpad. The video refreshes and auto-plays.
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SCP-4361-AV-872: (no audio)
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DR. HANDON: Come on. You just —
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Dr. Handon clicks again.
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SCP-4361-AV-873: (no audio)
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Dr. Handon clicks twelve more times.
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SCP-4361-AV-885: Hurts to talk. Please. Hard to tal— (video ends)
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DR. HANDON: OK! It's hard to — OK. That's OK, hon. Alright, so, for the record: SCP-4361 is definitely capable of responding to text or other communicative information embedded in whatever it grabs. Capable of understanding, I mean, though I'm not sure how well she — it can read. Or if it can always read what's written, or recognize what's depicted, or if it can see files that it didn't take. Can speak, too, but I guess speaking hurts.
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Dr. Handon types a brief visual description of Site-15 into a word processor, with a line at the top reading "It's OK. Don't talk." and a line at the bottom that reads "Show me this one if you are here." She saves the file, opens another, and types "Show me this one if you are elsewhere." Then she clicks the trackpad repeatedly.
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DR. HANDON: Come on, come on. If you don't grab it, this will take — ah. OK, so SCP-4361 confirms it's — wait. No. She took both…? Damnit. You need to make sense, girl, you have to tell me how to h — oh damnit they're here. That's enough for now. Let's —
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Dr. Handon's palm obscures the camera. Video ends.
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ENTRY: 2019-01-12T09:08:17
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I'm continuing this research without Mu-4 authorization. My days are probably numbered, but I don't care. Venti found someone up the chain as paranoid as he is, and now a bunch of suits with no idea what we're doing here think I've exposed all our precious data to a security breach. They think I forgot our mission. Screw them.
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Whatever — whoever — SCP-4361 is, it's stuck. Scared. She's a kid in a well, and we're the only ones who can hear the echoes.
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I keep running data analyses on the instances. (Yannis knows he's risking his job to help me, but he's a decent man, unlike Doctor-20-Ounces.) Selection bias towards words like "help," "why," "stop" in single-word files. Selection bias towards photographs of faces expressing pain, fear, anxiety. I dumped a cache of medical logs into a subfolder, and she kept grabbing the ones related to migraine headaches and panic attacks.
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My finger's sore from refreshing this video. I need more data. I need her to tell me where she is, what's going on, and who's hurting her. Hurting it. Whatever. Damnit, I can't help her unless she tells me, and she can't tell me anything if she can't hear me.
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ENTRY: 2019-01-18T21:52:08
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I'm nowhere with this. She still likes Henrietta; I even got a smiling face amid all the grimaces when I snuck in the photo of the big furball leaping at a falling leaf. Took that one last August, before the arthritis slowed her down.
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But "likes cats and maybe the color red" is still all I know. What's hurting her? Electronic interference on the server, maybe? Viewer device doesn't make a difference. It's impossible to even guess without establishing where she is first, but any time, any way I ask, I can't make heads or tails of the answer. Or, she can't understand the question.
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We've had stranger temporal situations with anomalies before, I know that, it's just… the others haven't felt so urgent. And I'm not usually so isolated.
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They caught Yannis sneaking the spreadsheet data my way. He's out of reach.
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I have to do this myself.
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ENTRY: 2019-01-21T22:10:49
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Oh god.
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Venti, that seeping asshole, stole my personal research logs. I don't know how for sure, but the Ethics Committee doesn't seem to care that he probably brute-force hacked my keycode. No one cares. He's won.
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And I'll give the bastard credit: He's clever. Decent researcher, too. Better than me. He realized what was hurting SCP-4361 this whole time.
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I was.
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SCP-4361 doesn't voluntarily generate a video each time the page refreshes. Refreshing the page triggers a reflex response. Like a bee sting. And, also like a bee sting, whenever the response is triggered, it… well, it's like she's carving off a piece of herself, four seconds of video at a time, with a rusting knife.
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All the random file grabbing, the heavy breathing in the transmitted audio, all that panic and fear — not cries for help. Cries to stop. Every video hurts her. And I forced a new video every… five seconds? Faster, before my fingers cramped?
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(Ah. Red. "Stop." Just got that. Guess it wasn't her favorite color, after all. I hope she still likes cats.)
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This isn't the real horror of it. Neither is my continued ignorance about where she is or how to help her. Dr. Markos is the showstopper. He didn't just figure all of this out; he weaponized it.
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He's calling it "ambly.OP.ia" (what a horrid, cruel, obscure little joke). It's a bot farm, a bunch of networked computers, all programmed to refresh the video URL. Again and again, fast as they can without imploding the YouTube service. Each bot stuffed with blank PNGs. Scraping away any "sensitive" data, like she's a goddamn Etch-a-Sketch.
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I've never seen anyone smile like that, describing such a thing.
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All she'll ever see now is white noise.
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I read once that modern militaries who haven't banned torture, or the ones who define "torture" very narrowly, use loud noise as an interrogation technique. Decibel-obliterating heavy metal music, recorded grinding and static, discordant guitar chords, that sort of thing. Stacked like walls around the eardrums.
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That's who we are now.
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I can't save her.
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ENTRY: 2019-01-22T08:44:58
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Here we are. The director promoted Dr. Markos to research lead. Made me watch the announcement before the Mu-4 grunts pulled me into an interrogation room. All greys and cold copper when they punched me in the mouth. Didn't know Mu-4 played bad cop like that.
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Groggy. Need to focus. They administered low-grade amnestics 13 minutes ago. Made me choke down the pills dry at gunpoint when I threw the glass of water. Guess they thought it'd take me at least the whole 15 to run back to my office. Cruel joke, they thought. Well. Proper security coming now either way. Guns and all that. Big arms.
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Even if I do remember, there won't be any way I could take down ambly.OP.ia on my MacBook.
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But I won't remember, will I? Hell with these people.
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Sent one more message. Think I jammed my finger clicking refresh. Even if it gets through, it'll hurt her even more on top of everything, but I didn't know what else to… I had no other way to… well, it doesn't really matter now, does it?
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation agents are to monitor for SCP-4389 presence through fronts such as salons and cosmetics stores. Insecticide 4389-X has been developed and introduced into the formulas of shampoos, cosmetics, and skincare products to curb SCP-4389's spread in affected areas. Foundation agents posing as dermatologists are to explain the resulting dead SCP-4389 instances as a new type of skin disease, and remove them accordingly.
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Description: SCP-4389 are a species of parasitic moth.
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SCP-4389's eggs are only 200 µm in diameter, and are carried by the air until landing on a human's face. Upon contact with human skin oils, SCP-4389 caterpillars will hatch, migrate towards the person's eyebrows, and burrow into hair follicles1. While the person sleeps, the caterpillars consume hair and each other, rapidly growing in size and sprouting hairs that match the host's color. The last two caterpillars remaining entrench themselves into the skin and brow ridge, occupying the same location as the former eyebrows.
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Due to their composition and body structure mimicking the texture of human faces, SCP-4389 infestations are rarely noticed, with hosts often dismissing their movement as random twitches or spasms. SCP-4389 feed mainly on skin oils, dead cells, skin mites, and skincare products, and do not grow appreciably over the majority of their 3-5 month larval phase.
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Unlike other lepidopterans, SCP-4389 produces eggs consistently throughout its larval phase; these are usually assumed by the host to be dandruff. Threading and other cosmetic processes excite the caterpillars, leading to more eggs. It is estimated that a single SCP-4389 can produce over 500,000 eggs in its lifetime. However, only a few will survive to hatching, as the eggs are short-lived if they do not reach a suitable location on a human body.
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Upon the conclusion of their larval stage, SCP-4389 form cocoons made of hair, and often induce severe headaches, migraines, or even unconsciousness in hosts. After about 24 hours, the cocoons burst open, releasing swarms of 80-120 moths resembling the Isabella tiger moth (Pyrrharctia isabella) in size and shape, each one composed of extremely long, animated hairs.
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SCP-4389 were discovered during a raid on a warehouse owned by one Marisol Palacios, who had been harvesting SCP-4389 moths from several dozen hosts and used the hair in the creation of high-quality wigs and hair extensions (formerly SCP-6263). The Foundation had intervened once the wigs exhibited their anomalous capacity to embed into wearers' skulls after a dormant period and cocoon the entire body, transforming the wearers into larger moths. Palacios has not been found.
Special Containment Procedures: Under no circumstances is the SCP Foundation, any of its subsidiary companies, or any individual employee thereof to profess pride in or support of an LGBT identity during the month of June.
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Due to the nature of SCP-4493, full containment is difficult. SCP-4493-1 instances are unable to be deleted from the internet platform upon which they are posted. MTF Lambda-69 (“Riding Spinners”) are to be deployed to affected entities. Members of MTF L-69 are to focus upon providing “spin” to the information revealed in SCP-4493-1 instances but also obfuscation in times where the information may be anomalous in nature. SCP-4493-1 instances can be obfuscated with Protocol 0-Cool. SCP-4493-2 instances may be summarily destroyed.
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Foundation moles are to be situated (where applicable) within corporations and police departments thought to be involved in unethical dealings with LGBT individuals or any other unethical practices. These moles are to attempt to discourage any show of support in LGBT identities during the month of June.
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Description: SCP-4493 is a phenomenon that affects large organizations, especially corporations and political groups, that publicly profess solidarity with or support for LGBT individuals during the month of June. When affected organizations publish social media posts or advertisements that express support for the LGBT community, those media will be altered to highlight the negative impacts that the organization in question has had on LGBT individuals; SCP-4493 can also create new posts on social media sites. SCP-4493 appears to be transmitted between organizations that have notable economic or political ties; it can also be transmitted between organizations that send groups to march in the same LGBT Pride parade.
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Social media posts altered or created by SCP-4493 are designated SCP-4493-1. SCP-4493-1 instances cannot be deleted from their original social media platform by usual means; this property extends to SCP-4493-1 re-posted to other social media pages (i.e. “retweets” on Twitter). As a result, containment of SCP-4493-1 instances requires cooperation with both the affected organization and the social media platform that contains the SCP-4493-1 instances.
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Physical advertisements (such as billboards or pamphlets) affected by SCP-4493 are designated SCP-4493-2. SCP-4493-2 instances are altered instantaneously, changing between frames when the transformation is recorded. SCP-4493-2 instances are always created from previously existing media, rather than created spontaneously by SCP-4493; they maintain no anomalous properties after their transformation, and can be destroyed without incident.
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Incident 4493-7: On 24 June 2019, a post by the Columbus Police Department's Facebook became an instance of SCP-4493-1. It highlights numerous human rights abuses leveraged at LGBT individuals and others. Three police officers (Sgt. N. Krum, Officer B. Smith, and Officer L. Aaron) are highlighted to have used their positions to carry out numerous crimes on individuals within the city. The three police officers were later found dead in their respective homes. All are said to have died of heart attacks with no sign of foul play.
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GOI-5869's possible involvement is being investigated.
Due to SCP-4493 providing a Keter-level containment procedure and causing undue stress, the actions of GOI-5869 were considered a breach of current agreements and treaties with the Foundation. A meeting with O5-6 and POI-6870 was enacted in order to reach a resolution and/or hold them accountable.
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The meeting took place on 14 June 2019.
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O5-6: I'm O5-6. Here on behalf of O5 Command and the SCP Foundation.
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Silence for three seconds.
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POI-6870: <Coughs.> Oh, shit. Sorry. I'm Jude Kriyot. I'm here on behalf of myself.
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O5-6: You expect me to believe that?
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POI-6870: Listen, dude. This was all me. No one else in the chat had anything to do with this. I don't think my actions should, you know, be used against the entirety of Gamers Against Weed. They'd've told me not to do this, if they heard about it.
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O5-6: You admit creation of SCP-4493? The so-called “Pride Hacker?”
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POI-6870: You know I don't know those numbers.
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O5-6: It's for the recording.
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POI-6870: Oh, okay. Cool. But yeah, I did it. And I don't consider it a breach of our agreement.
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O5-6: And how do you suppose that is?
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POI-6870 leans back in his chair. He does not speak for twenty-two seconds.
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POI-6870: As far as I remember, and my memory is surprisingly good, the agreement was that I keep all the kids in line. I keep everyone in my care from causing undue harm to the good people of this world. I make sure that the little dudes who can maybe cause you big trouble spend their energies on stupid, fun shit instead of making monsters and sex palaces in their basements, right?
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O5-6: Certainly, that is part of the agreement, but—
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POI-6870: I also don't, what was it? I don't pierce the veil. I don't make magic that's too visible to people in the normal world or whatever you wanna call it, right?
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O5-6: Correct. And that's the issue. Did you think you personally targeting Absolut Vodka wasn't a breach of the agreement? I don't think even you could stretch the strictures of our dealings that far, sir.
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POI-6870 You know, that's the funny thing. I didn't target them.
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O5-6: You didn't?
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POI-6870: That's the fucked up part. I put the little bit of me in that shout about the new Mister Against Weed. I knew Wondertainment would be on that shit. It's like the flu, you know. Companies that work together, it spreads through their business dealings and manifests when they do some rainbow capitalism.
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O5-6: And of course, Wondertainment supplies to Marshall, Carter, and Dark?
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POI-6870: Really, I expected this to stay in our sphere. I wouldn't've made the posts fucking sticky as hell if I knew those guys were dealing with, like, normie companies, I wouldn't've had it do that.
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O5-6: It still would've been a breach of our agreement.
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POI-6870: Nah, bud. I don't consider a corporation a part of, the you know, public. If anything, I think I'm doing a service.
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O5-6: The Foundation does not see it that way, unfortunately.
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POI-6870: Well, I guess I understood our agreement a little differently, huh?
+
There is silence for fifteen seconds.
+
O5-6: Many of my colleagues wish for us to rescind our protection entirely, you know. They're not happy about this.
+
POI-6870: I didn't hurt anyone.
+
O5-6: Not directly.
+
POI-6870: <Spoken in a raised voice. Sound quality is momentarily distorted, as though by static electricity.> Not at all. Not even a little bit.
+
There is silence for eleven seconds.
+
O5-6: <Clears throat> This will not be considered a breach of the agreement, in light of the highlighted misunderstanding. The Foundation would like to note that any further involvement by Gamers Against Weed in the public sphere will be regarded as a breach and will render our protection null and void.
+
POI-6870: Bullshit.
+
O5-6: Do you not accept the terms?
+
POI-6870: <A sigh.> I accept. But, let me say one last thing.
+
O5-6: Yes?
+
POI-6870: If I were you guys, I wouldn't celebrate Pride anytime soon.
+
O5-6: What makes you think our organization celebrates anything?
+
POI-6870: Please. Even the CIA tosses out a rainbow now that gay marriage is legal. Don't knock my dick around.
+
O5-6: You're certain we're infected?
+
POI-6870: Oh, one hundred percent. By now, yeah. You've dabbled in this shit. It's all over you.
+
O5-6: I don't think my colleagues will be happy.
+
POI-6870: Fine with me, big dog. Am I free to go, or are you going to put me in a cell?
+
O5-6: No. You may leave. End recording.
+
Despite POI-6870's general disrespect toward the Foundation and its motives throughout the meeting, POI-6870 was judged to be more useful uncontained, given the vast resources that would be necessary to contain him and the possible retaliation of GOI-5869.
+
Any further breach of agreement will be met with the full force of the Foundation.
Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-4571's location, Foundation agents are to monitor all Martian explorations, and to redirect missions as necessary to a minimum of forty (40) kilometers from the coordinates -55.71°S 163.92°W. The Foundation satellite S-4571.01 shall remain in low Martian orbit to scan the entirety of the Terra Sirenum region for SCP-4571-2 instances.
+
Description: SCP-4571 is a bipedal creature of debated origin, currently residing on Mars' Terra Sirenum region in a packed regolith shelter of its own creation. SCP-4571's facial features are similar to both canine and feline facial features. SCP-4571's exact intelligence is currently unknown, but is thought to be fairly similar to human based on observation of SCP-4571's behaviors. SCP-4571's height is 183 centimeters.
+
Despite SCP-4571's diet seeming to consist entirely of SCP-4571-2 fruit, it has relatively sharp teeth. This has lead to the current prevailing theory among our researchers, in which SCP-4571 has arrived from another star system, and has landed on mars unintentionally. No remains of the potential interstellar vehicle have been found. It is unclear if the radio communications device SCP-4571 is currently building is to signal Earth, or SCP-4571's potential home planet. SCP-4571 appears to farm SCP-4571-2 instances for survival. SCP-4571 has a type of tapered Keratin digits, and can carve Martian ice using them.
+
SCP-4571-1 is a cored, amber coloured sphere 15 centimeters in diameter, its hole 5 centimeters in diameter. Upon physical contact between SCP-4571-1 and SCP-4571, A large amount of what resembles plasma is created, notably violet in the visible spectrum, and is abnormally low in temperature for plasma at ███° Kelvin. SCP-4571 can control the plasma via sculpting it using its hands and/or mind, as observed during Incident dust storm 5. The plasma appears safely tangible in the hands of SCP-4571 and is capable of both precision cutting and blasts rivaling modern grenades. It has thus far taken on these forms:
+
+
A sphere the exact size of SCP-4571-1 (estimated to be a neutral position)
+
An unknown form, exploding on impact with rover R.4571.01.
+
Several circular disks, able to carry rover parts.
+
A curved cutting wedge, 70 centimeters in length, used to separate and carve metal from R.4571.01.
+
A protective spherical structure 20 meters in diameter.
+
A spear-like object thrown by SCP-4571 at R.4571.02.
+
+
R.4571.01 and R.4571.02 captured the plasma on camera before losing contact with Earth. Data R.4571.02 sent back indicates that a long, spear-like object had pierced the rover's tracks. The level of control SCP-4571 has over the produced plasma is similar to a Type green reality bender, to a strictly limited extent.
+
Discovery of SCP-4571 and SCP-4571-1 during rover R.4571.01's mission to investigate SCP-4571-2 instances provoked further observation and a change in object designations. Most notably, changing the plants' designation to SCP-4571-2.
+
SCP-4571-2 is a Mars-based species of plant currently consisting of twenty five several hundred individual plants, each bearing one to five fruit a total of five times during a given Martian year. Fruits range from 10-11 centimeters in height, all contain 10 slices in a similar fashion to orange slices. SCP-4571-2 instances do not require liquid water, as their stems have been observed feeding off of crushed ice and crushed dry ice. Only the stem of an SCP-4571-2 instance can process ice, it's roots instead act like an anchor to avoid being uprooted during dust storms.
+
SCP-4571-2 instances are positioned at an estimate of 125 centimeters from each other in a 5x5 square grid 25x25 square grid, for an approximate total grid size of 6.5x6.5 32x32 meters. It is unclear whether SCP-4571-2 instances require this consistent pattern, or if SCP-4571 has simply arranged them for an ease of harvesting SCP-4571-2 fruit. Using data from R.4571.01's camera, mature instances have been calculated at a range of heights, approximately 28-48 centimeters. Further detailed in Document 4571-A.
+
Fruit produced by SCP-4571-2 contains no traces of Perchlorate, despite its abundance in Martian soil. Furthermore they contain all of the necessary vitamins and minerals in just the right amounts for human survival, [DATA EXPUNGED], and an unidentified stable superheavy element. Use of SCP-4571-2 fruit in long term human survival is currently improbable due to it's location, intake, and SCP-4571's potential hostile reaction.
+
Data sent back from both rovers allowed Foundation botanists to determine SCP-4571-2's cells function with solid ice rather than water, a statement backed by infrared scans detailing that SCP-4571-2 instances assume the ambient temperature of the area. Should the temperature of the immediate area rise sufficiently for liquid water, even in small amounts it is likely that SCP-4571-2 instances would die off similarly to frozen Earth flora due to the change in volume, albeit via implosion of cells rather than a rupturing of cells.
+
Document 4571-A: Data captured by rovers R.4571.01 and R.4571.02
Discovery date: The first 25 SCP-4571-2 instances were discovered and analyzed by R.4571.01 on 15/11/2018. Here are the most notable instances at the time.
+
Item: SCP-4571-2-01
+Description: 21 centimeters in height. Bore 1 fruit. Located at grid position 5A, the south-western corner.
+
Item: SCP-4571-2-03
+Description: 18 centimeters in height. Bore 1 fruit. Located at grid position 3A.
+Note: Bent over from the weight of its fruit.
+
Item: SCP-4571-2-04
+Description: 37 centimeters in height. Bore 5 fruit. Located at grid position 2A.
+Note: Fruit were arranged in a near-perfect pentagonal pattern.
+
Item: SCP-4571-2-12
+Description: 6 centimeters in height. Bore 0 fruit. Located at grid position 4C.
+Note: Most likely a newly germinated SCP-4571 instance.
+
Item: SCP-4571-2-13
+Description: 48 centimeters in height. Bore 5 fruit. Located at grid position 3C, the middle.
+Note: The largest instance, presumably the oldest.
+
Item: SCP-4571-2-15
+Description: 20 centimeters in height. Bore 0 fruit. Located at grid position 1C.
+Note: Withering, unknown cause
+
+
+
+
Item: Mud house
+discovery date: 15/11/2018
+Description: An approximate mix of hardened Martian soil and ices have be shaped by SCP-4571 to form a shelter located North of the SCP-4571-2 farm. The shelter resembles a mud house, and contains at least 2 floors1. The mud house contains several mud shelves, and one mud formation resembling a couch in its first floor. Mud stairs lead to an unexplored second floor, however it is assumed much like the first floor to be one open room. The house contains a single window on the second floor facing the south, as to allow SCP-4571 to view the farm.
+Notes: It is unknown if the window can be closed.
+
Item: Papyrus-like parchment made from SCP-4571-2 stems
+discovery date: 15/11/2018
+Description: Roughly 25 centimeters in height and 20 centimeters in length, the parchment contains smears of SCP-4571-2 fruit mixed with Martian regolith, further observation is necessary to determine the nature of this mix. A digital replica has been created for ease of parsing.
+
+
+
+
+
♥
+
♥♥
+
♥♥♥
+
♥♥♥♥
+
+
+
◘
+
■
+
¤
+
☼
+
╬
+
+
+
+
+
■ ‹ ☼
+
—
+
♥ c
+
+
+
■ — ¤ ‹ ■◘¤◘☼¤¤■■╬■☼☼■☼╬╬☼◘■
+
[Likely an illustration of Phobos]
+
■ — ◘ ‹ ◘╬☼╬¤¤¤╬■¤■¤╬■¤☼■☼■■
+
[Likely an illustration of Deimos]
+
[Illegible]
+[Illegible]
+
+
Notes: Heart symbols used are simply an analogue for illustrations of SCP-4571-2 fruit. Likewise, c likely represents three fifths of an SCP-4571-2 fruit. The usage of fifths have lead researchers to assume that these illustrations are for a base 5 number system, as supported by each symbol corresponding to 0, 1, 2, 3, and 4 fruit illustrations respectively. This assumption in turn supports the third line of the parchment in which "■ ‹ ☼" represents one and three fifths of SCP-4571-2 fruit, an indicator of the ‹ symbol corresponding to a base five version of a decimal point. Post Incident 4571-B, SCP-4571 had drawn rover R.4571.01 as well as several of its individual parts. As of rover R.4571.02's last sent photo, 588 symbols have been drawn on the back side of the parchment. Researchers are currently decoding it.
Item: Lunar clock
+discovery date: 17/11/2018
+Description: A timepiece resembling an analog clock created by SCP-4571. It uses R.4571.01's tracks to turn its three hands, one of R.4571.01's batteries, and one of R.4571.01's solar panels to fuel it. Each hand appears to accurately track the positions of: The Sun, Phobos, and Deimos, relative to SCP-4571's view of the sky.
+Notes: SCP-4571 made use of the symbols on the front side of the parchment, as well as SCP-4571-1 to aide in building the clock by lifting rover parts.
+
Item: Primitive telescope
+discovery date: 18/11/2018
+Description: A slightly tapered cylinder tube constructed from metal scrap of the broken R.4571.01, with lenses from its on-board camera positioned inside the tube as telescope lenses. Accurate calculations of the magnification this primitive telescope offers was impossible due to R.4571.02's distance. SCP-4571-1 was used to cut metal from the remains of rover R.4571.01.
+
Item: Solar system carving
+discovery date: 18-19/11/2018
+Description: Our solar system2 carved on the outside of the mud house's eastern wall, featuring all of the planets and major moons up to Saturn, as well as the dwarf planet Ceres.
+Notes: Mars is depicted as the same size as Earth.
+
Event: Incident dust storm 5.
+discovery date: 20/11/2018
+Description: R.4571.02's camera had been partially obscured by Martian dust, SCP-█████'s silhouette was visible regardless. SCP-4571 used SCP-4571-1 to create a protective sphere 20 meters in diameter.
+Notes: SCP-█████'s skin seemed to resist the plasma produced by SCP-4571-1, making it possible that SCP-4571 and SCP-█████ have previously encountered each other. SCP-4571 was visibly injured after the storm had cleared.
+
Item: Changes to Parchment and carving
+discovery date: 21/11/2018
+Description: Parchment now contained approximately 40 more symbols on its front, however R.4571.02 could not get a decent enough view of it to see specific symbols. A curved line was scratched by SCP-4571 onto the Solar system carving, resembling a flight path involving a gravity assist from The Moon to slow down into high Earth orbit.
+
Item: A large cube of ice
+discovery date: 22/11/2018
+Description: SCP-4571 walked 25 kilometers North-east, where R.4571.02 was unable to track SCP-4571. Satellite S-4571.01 was able to make out a slashing motion on the part of SCP-4571, before it began to return carrying a large cube-shaped chunk of ice.
+Notes: SCP-4571 had a pile of ice within 30 meters of the farm, which had been used up the previous night to water the SCP-4571-2 instances. Estimates put the cube of ice at 920 kilograms, much too heavy for SCP-4571 to carry on its own. SCP-4571-1 must have been used in the return trip.
+
Document 4571-B:
+
Rover log - 15/11/2018
+
+
0:00 R.4571.01 lands without incident
+0:00 R.4571.01 status: nominal. camera operational
+0:01 R.4571.01 status: nominal. Temperature: 233K, -40°C.
+0:02 R.4571.01 status: nominal. Wind speed: 8.8 Meters per second.
+
+
Mars's surface is visible, 25 SCP-4571-2 instances can be faintly seen in a group 440 meters away.
+
+
0:30 R.4571.01 status: nominal. 360 meters from target
+1:00 R.4571.01 status: nominal. 280 meters from target
+2:00 R.4571.01 status: nominal. 120 meters from target
+2:45 R.4571.01 status: nominal. 0.25 meters from target "collecting data".
+4:58 R.4571.01 status: nominal. Sending data
+
+
Data about SCP-4571-2, its fruit, and its composition were sent to Earth
Up until this point, The Foundation was simply concerned for the SCP-4571-2 investigation. An image of a mud shelter sparked farther investigation, and cause for backup rover R.4571.02 to be deployed once it had reached a suitable orbital position.
+
+
5:14 R.4571.01 status: nominal. Commands received, new target "Shelter"
+5:20 R.4571.01 status: nominal. "Shelter" entered, surveying
+5:57 R.4571.01 status: nominal. available area fully explored, sending data
+
+
Data about the house's composition, function, and the primitive parchment were sent to Earth. Stairs prevented the rover from accessing the shelter's second floor.
+
+
6:00 R.4571.01 status: nominal. Unable to explore farther
+6:10 R.4571.01 status: nominal. Exiting "Shelter"
+6:20 R.4571.01 status: nominal. Movement in Infrared spectrum, taking photo
+
+
The first picture of SCP-4571 was taken, its face visible on the other side of the second floor window.
+
Note: SCP-4571 didn't notice R.4571.01 for quite some time. Given how slowly rovers move3 , SCP-4571 could have been idle or possibly resting on the second floor. Reseacher S███████, Lead researcher for the SCP-4571 observation team has however voiced another likely explanation, that being SCP-4571's ears could be nonfunctional or partially deaf.
+
+
6:21 R.4571.01 status: damaged. Sending picture of attack source
+
+
Directional and seismic sensors indicate that the rover was launched akin to an explosive detonating beneath its tracks. Image data had been corrupted, and connection was lost.
+
+
6:30 R.4571.02 lands without incident
+6:30 R.4571.02 status: nominal. camera operational
+6:31 R.4571.02 status: nominal. Temperature: 255K, -18°C.
+6:31 R.4571.02 status: nominal. Wind speed: 9.1 Meters per second.
+6:32 R.4571.02 status: nominal. 600 meters from target
+6:45 R.4571.02 status: nominal. New commands received, observing at a distance
+11:45 R.4571.02 status: nominal. 125 meters from target, long distance camera active
+
+
For the next 8 days, R.4571.02 kept a distance of 125 meters from the mud house, gathering information using it's long distance camera.
+
+
215:30 R.4571.02 status: nominal. Command received, moving to target.
+
+
Note: A malfunction of R.4571.01's remaining parts caused it to send data akin to an earlier movement command it itself had received. It is unknown if the command was caused by SCP-4571's efforts to deconstruct the rover, or if the signal had been sent by SCP-4571 intentionally.
Procedure 157-Invict will begin once SCP-4571 manages to create a radio communications device from the broken parts of rover R-4571.01 and R.4571.02. Procedure shall follow as such once a stable language system can be understood and conveyed by both parties:
+
+
SCP-4571 is to be tested on intelligence using standard IQ test.
+
SCP-4571 is to be asked about the destruction of rover R.4571.01 and rover R.4571.02.
+
A lander replicating Martian atmospheric conditions with no internal control is to collect SCP-4571. A container capable of preserving SCP-4571-2 fruit and seeds is to be secured within the lander.
+
On Earth, SCP-4571 is then to be placed in a humanoid containment chamber alongside Martian atmospheric conditions and a steady diet of SCP-4571-2 fruit, grown by Foundation botanists in replica of Martian conditions for ease of transport.
+
SCP-4571-1 is to be temporarily stored no less than five (5) kilometers away from SCP-4571, distance tests are to be carried out to find a more permanent location.
+
+
Notes: If there's one thing we haven't considered, it's that SCP-4571 might only be hostile to the rovers, not us specifically. I propose a rewrite of Procedure 157-Invict, one where there's a "friendly" clause, or at least plans to send an MTF unit should it refuse to use the lander. -Dr. J███
+
Denied, the foundation does not care if SCP-4571 is willing to cooperate or not, nor does it need to use a Mobile Task Force. You saw the path it carved, it wants to come to Earth. - Dr. M████
+
+
+
+
Addendum:
+
SCP-4571 appears to get exhausted after removing SCP-4571-1, more so depending on the power of the activity it was used for. Based on Incident dust storm 5, SCP-4571 can quickly regain strength lost in this way upon consumption of SCP-4571-2 fruit. If we manage to contact SCP-4571 peacefully, it might willingly give us information about SCP-4571-1 and SCP-4571-2. -Researcher S███████
+
Addendum 2:
+
Using the first line of the back side of the parchment, I've been able to find something interesting. The rovers sent binary data, encoded as ASCII characters. Turning that first parchment line from quinary to binary, It became 8 bytes which I then converted into ASCII. The result: "i got e". It might just be a coincidence, but I think I'm onto something here. Researcher S███████, could you help me confirm this?
+-Dr. J███
+
Addendum 3:
+
Foundation satellite S.4571.01 Have since discovered SCP-4571 planting a large amount of SCP-4571-2 instances in a strange behavioral shift, post destruction of rover R.4571.02. SCP-4571-1 began by extending the farm's range to a 25x25 grid. Satellite S.4571.01 found SCP-4571 preparing a further multiplication by digging small holes in continuation of the grid pattern. Contrary to our botanists' beliefs, tilling the Martian soil would no doubt reduce the effectiveness of SCP-4571-2's anchor roots. Should SCP-4571 increase the farm's size thrice more, it could be forced to deal with other Martian SCPs such as SCP-████, SCP-████, SCP-████, and SCP-█████. - Dr. M████
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4597 is contained within a Standard Humanoid Containment Cell. SCP-4597's hands are to be encased in fitted gloves filled with polymer gel #MCN119, refreshed daily. A plexiglass partition divides the cell between SCP-4597 and SCP-4597-A.
+
Description: SCP-4597 is a young human male suffering from dermatillomania1.
+
SCP-4597's skin possesses accelerated, if flawed, regenerative properties. Observation has shown that regeneration takes only a few minutes even when entire sheets of skin are torn away; however, due to this, large portions of SCP-4597's dermis are heavily scarred and discolored. Additionally, the dead cornea stratum layer is abnormally thick, ranging from 5-120 mm depending on location, with SCP-4597's lips, fingers, toes, and knees exhibiting the thickest layers.
+
SCP-4597's dead skin is abnormally difficult to cut or pierce without the use of either metal tools, lasers, or SCP-4597's teeth or nails; it also becomes gradually thicker and more durable each time it heals. SCP-4597 partially circumvents this durability by exploiting weak points such as ingrown hairs, new calluses, existing notches, or water-softened areas in order to continue its self-destructive behaviors. The living dermis exhibits no unusual durability.
+
Once removed from SCP-4597, the dead skin becomes animate. Dead fragments will wriggle before ultimately joining an existing sapient, amorphous pile of skin fragments in the shape of a large (currently 3 m tall) dust mite with elongated limbs (SCP-4597-A), held together with dried blood or pus.
+
During initial observation of SCP-4597 while sleeping, SCP-4597-A was seen using its mandibles to bite thinner areas of SCP-4597's skin, creating small notches, and using rough edges of its skin portions to sharpen SCP-4597's fingernails. In response, current containment procedures were enacted.
+
Following separation from SCP-4597-A, SCP-4597 has exhibited signs of anxiety, while its condition has slowed significantly, with large sections of skin beginning to heal and decrease in thickness. Conversely, SCP-4597-A has begun to act erratically, hitting itself against the partition repeatedly, and peeling and chewing on parts of itself with its mandibles.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4789 and its DVDs are kept in a standard Safe-class locker.
+
Description: SCP-4789 is a pair of promotional cardboard 3-D glasses produced for the 2005 movie The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
+
While using SCP-4789 to view a movie, subjects often describe the experience as more 'immersive' or 'real', and report auditory and sensory hallucinations providing the sensations of rain, wind, heat, vibrations, and other stimuli in the movie viewed.
+
Repeated uses of SCP-4789 result in anomalous effects occurring near subjects while they sleep. Subjects are never woken by these effects but report significantly improved moods after waking normally. These effects include:
+
+
Sounds of indeterminate source, such as loud footsteps, roars, explosions, or engine noises.
+
Reptilian and selachian bite marks appearing in nearby walls.
+
Significant changes in ambient temperature.
+
Small electrical discharges.
+
Objects within the room moving as if underwater.
+
+
Addendum: D-19060 was allowed to view a movie using SCP-4789, and equipped with a prototype OJOS Dream-Visualizer system.
[BEGIN LOG]
+Visuals suffer from slight interference. D-19060 appears to be in a large rocky plain, at night. Volcanoes can be seen in the distance, as well as a large inky black cloud taking up half the horizon and obscuring the moon. Thousands of similarly black entities of various shapes and sizes walk ahead of the cloud.
+
A woman dressed in orange armor releases a large explosive blast from her eyes, aimed at tentacled extensions of the clouds. Beams of solid light extend from the moon, piercing the cloud.
+
D-19060: My finger's gonna go through.
+
D-19060 pushes his finger into his palm. The finger appears to phase through.
+
D-19060: Alright, it worked. Wait.
+
D-19060 looks down at his arms again, and sees that he is wearing colorful, gemstone-inlaid armor.
+
D-19060: Oh yeah, duh.
+
D-19060 begins to run towards the cloud.
+
A large (~200 m) cloud arm erupts from the ground and swings in a wide arc, throwing multiple entities aside. D-19060 is knocked down from the shockwave.
+
D-19060: Damn!
+
A purple skinned humanoid clad in iridescent armor helps D-19060 to his feet. As a blob of dark substance is launched at the two of them, the humanoid bisects it with an oversized glaive. The halves of the blob dissipate into smoke.
+
D-19060: Whoa, thanks, uh-
+
Purple Humanoid: Tbil.
+
D-19060: Tuh-bill?
+
Tbil: There's more where that came from! Let's go make waves.
+
Tbil runs off, and proceeds to engage other dark entities.
+
D-19060: I need to find the commander, or leader or whatever.
+
A volcano emerges from the ground to his left and erupts, briefly blinding him. Interference intensifies for the next minute. The OJOS system becomes warmer.
+
D-19060: Probably that way?
+
As he runs, D-19060 looks up and sees a flying Viking longship equipped with rocket engines, flanked by six shiny metal spacecraft, flying towards the volcano.
+
A 500 m tall gaseous entity manifests and emerges from the cloud. The entity resembles a large three-headed dragon, with several gorilla-like arms protruding at random locations.
+
[STATIC]
+
A gigantic, four-armed mechanical battle suit grapples with the dragon, while the Viking ship and its escorts provide suppressing fire.
+
D-19060 finds an abandoned motor vehicle, with one oversized wheel on front and a jet engine pointed downward on the back. He boards the vehicle and drives it towards the volcano.
+
D-19060: I think it's safe to say I'm dreaming.
+
[STATIC]
+
A large blue armored tyrannosaur charges up the volcano, wielding a glowing red and black blade. On its back sits a human woman with pink hair.
+
Woman: FORWARD!
+
The woman stands up and runs towards the back end of the dinosaur's spine. The dinosaur whips its tail, sending the woman flying towards the dragon's head. The woman emits a bright light.
+
Woman: Not destruction. Not a simple flame.
+
The woman shouts, and a flare of light erupts from the volcano, enveloping both her and the dragon.
+
[STATIC]
+
D-19060 punches a wormlike dark entity in the face, and it explodes in a shower of seashells. A high school marching band walks forward, destroying more entities with the shockwaves emanating from their instruments. A large, wheel-shaped dark entity rolls towards D-19060, and the band scatters.
+
Male Voice: BEGONE!
+
A tall man wearing gemstone-covered armor and wielding a greatsword makes a crushing motion with his free hand, and a large number of green beams emanate from within the wheel entity, destroying it. D-19060 pauses.
+
D-19060: No way… King of Greenworld?
+
King of Greenworld: Eric! Welcome back!
+
D-19060: I… yeah. It's me.
+
A green glow envelops the King of Greenworld for a few seconds.
+
King of Greenworld: The other Kings will be glad to see you once I regroup with them.
+
D-19060: What is this place?
+
The King of Greenworld frowns.
+
King of Greenworld: Are you quite alright, Master Eric? I would have thought you'd know your mission front and back by now. I shall, uh, retrieve the Ancient Weaver; she will know what must be done.
+
The King of Greenworld taps his ear. An ovoid shape made of glowing woven fibers appears in the air. The fibers separate, and the blue tyrannosaur previously seen emerges.
+
King of Greenworld: Ancient Weaver. I will take my leave now, the Ten Gems require my backup in the magnet fields.
+
The Ancient Weaver nods.
+
Ancient Weaver: May your sword remain ever sharp.
+
The King of Greenworld whistles, and a green, dragon-like creature with butterfly wings flies in. The King climbs atop the creature and flies away.
+
The Ancient Weaver turns to face D-19060. Its left eye is mechanical and glows red, and appears to scan D-19060.
+
Ancient Weaver: Eric.
+
D-19060: Please, Ancient Weaver. I just want to know where I am. I haven't even thought about the King of Greenworld or his brothers and sisters since I was 14.
+
Ancient Weaver: You dreamed them. Where did you think they went when you no longer had need of them? (pause) Something isn't right. You've been a valued warrior here for years. The Kings and Queens rally under your banner and flourish under the power of your memories. And yet…
+
D-19060: I feel like I've seen you before.
+
Ancient Weaver: Every soul that dreams has seen me.
+
The Ancient Weaver holds her sword outward and twists it, causing D-19060 to become entangled by a mass of thread. She sheathes the sword, and the threads turn into crystal.
+
At this point, the OJOS system freezes for several seconds before reconnecting. The machine is beginning to reach its tolerable heat limit.
+
D-19060: Hey wait!
+
Large comets composed of the dark cloud begin to fall to the ground in the distance, scattering large black scorpions upon impact. Flying fish resembling ocean sunfish arrive to engage the scorpions.
+
Ancient Weaver: There is no time, and the darkness in the air grows stronger. If in fact you have been compromised, I will try my hardest to save you.
+
D-19060: At least get me out of this so I can go home.
+
Ancient Weaver: Guillermo and Wilberto were right that your people have so much to offer the world of dreams. The purity of light, the vastness of possibility, the courage and the strength to fight for what you love. Small wonder that the darkness seeks to attack you most of all.
+
The Ancient Weaver reaches her arm out, and phases it through D-19060's head.
+
D-19060: What the fuck?
+
Ancient Weaver: I am not sure how much of this you will remember with this abnormality in play. If you retain anything at all, let it be that it is your duty to dream a better dream. And we in turn shall fight to make it real.
+
The Ancient Weaver pulls a metallic thread from out of D-19060's head, causing severe static.
+
Ancient Weaver: Ah. [STATIC] interloper. We have met before, I believe. Please do not interfere again.
+
The Ancient Weaver turns to her right, and draws her sword in preparation.
+
Ancient Weaver: Every thing that is or was began with a dream. And unless I, Palsinnor, stand resolute at the head of these worthy warriors, every thing will end with a nightmare.
+
The ground shakes. The cloud parts, and a large amorphous mass with several dozen legs crawls forward. An indistinct face emerges from its front and roars loudly.
+
The Ancient Weaver spins her sword in a circle. The crystal trapping D-19060 shatters into dust.
+
Ancient Weaver: He reformed more quickly than we thought. King Sapphire! Jelrikam is at my position.
+
A loud thunderclap.
+
Ancient Weaver: Dreamwalkers, it's now or never!
+
A large number of people, all clad in various costumes or armor, materialize behind the Ancient Weaver. Each one is wearing an instance of SCP-4789.
+
Ancient Weaver: Dreamwalkers, summon your creations. As they once helped you when you created them, now help them, help us win this war once and for all.
+
A man in blue armor, wielding a gigantic shard of sapphire as a sword, rides in on a large, animate stuffed turtle. He swings his sword upward, and several hundred duplicates of himself form from the ground. Meanwhile, a humanoid in a spacesuit flies down from the Moon.
+
Ancient Weaver: (to D-19060) Either tell me to free you, or stay and fight alongside us.
+
D-19060: (to himself) It's all coming back. (out loud) I will fight.
+
The Ancient Weaver smiles. She draws another weapon from her back, a black stone macahuitl, and swings it in a tight pattern. Miniature solar flares fluctuate along its edges.
+
Ancient Weaver: Dance with me again, Jelrikam, but you will not darken the stars we have earned.
+
King Sapphire: Let us expel it from this plane. Forward!
+
Jelrikam ejects eight of its legs, which orbit it rapidly. After accelerating, all eight legs break orbit and speed towards D-19060 and the others. King Sapphire shouts, and a wall of solid crystal blocks the legs and shatters. King Sapphire waves his sword, and the shards of sapphire spin and destroy the legs, reducing them to smoke.
+
The Ancient Weaver vocalizes, and shimmering, spiderweb-like portals appear in a ring around Jelrikam's center. She stabs her sword into the ground and bright beams of light emerge from each portal, striking Jelrikam. A white cloud appears in the sky, and brains fall from it to hit Jelrikam, exploding on contact.
+
D-19060 reaches down to his belt. A weapon appears that wasn't present previously, and D-19060 draws it. It is an oversized gun, with the barrel shaped like a shark head.
+
Jelrikam charges forward, still smoking from the beams. It partially splits itself down the middle, and bolts of electricity are released.
+
Ancient Weaver: Get down!
+
D-19060 immediately wakes, and the OJOS system overloads and bursts into flames.
Special Containment Procedures: Satellite photography and related orbital data collected from SCP-4845's location are to be altered to exclude information implying its existence. Personnel planted within NASA and the ESA are to alter such data to this end.
+
Once Site-169 has been established on the lunar surface, approved Foundation personnel from there or Site-120 may dine at SCP-4845. In exchange for allowing Site-169 to utilize SCP-4845's electricity, an internet connection is to be provided to SCP-4845, on the condition that all outgoing data remains closely monitored for potential breaches in security.
+
Possible connections between SCP-4845 and the disappearance of a Taco Bell restaurant from Wyoming, USA in the summer of 2013 are currently being investigated.
+
Description: SCP-4845 is a fully-operational Taco Bell fast food restaurant located near 44°S 55°W, on the Earth's Moon. As determined from remote and manned explorations of SCP-4845, the establishment has been confirmed to possess several anomalous qualities, including:
+
+
Unidentified, most likely infinite sources of power and edible food products that allow it to operate indefinitely
+
An Earth-like atmosphere in terms of pressure and composition both inside and around the premises
+
A staff of five humanoid entities collectively designated SCP-4845-A that consists of three males and two females, all of which possess mild anomalous abilities (See Addendum 4845.1)
+
+
On 2/24/19, personnel at Site-120 stabilized a Type-07 “Intended Access” Wormhole and linked the opening end to a point on the Moon located approximately 0.5 kilometers from SCP-4845. To test the stability of the access point, an MEEVSR1 was sent through the opening to investigate SCP-4845. The exploration yielded information about SCP-4845's interior and SCP-4845-A instances, as well as atmospheric composition and pressure. Based on these measurements and the MEEVSR's interactions with the staff, it was determined that SCP-4845 is habitable for baseline humans and SCP-4845-A instances are non-hostile.
Bison-01 begins to approach SCP-4845’s western entrance. Due to the presence of the aforementioned wormhole, video transmission and rover controller reactions are nearly instantaneous.
+
As Bison-01 comes within range of SCP-4845, more details can be made out about the structure: small, decorative bushes can be seen scattered around the perimeter of the building, several promotional posters are hung in the windows, and electrical lights are visible inside.
+
Bison-01 approaches closer and humanoid figures become visible through SCP-4845's windows. Upon coming within roughly 20 meters of SCP-4845, one of the figures appears to notice Bison-01 and walks to the western side of the structure to observe it, gesturing for the other entities to join it.
+
Operators at Site-120 slow Bison-01’s movement speed as it nears the entrance. One of the figures opens the door as Bison-01 reaches the sidewalk ramp and stops. The figure looks perplexedly at Bison-01 and gestures for it to enter the structure. Personnel at Site-120 briefly take a moment to discuss before agreeing to enter the structure and navigate Bison-01 up the ramp into SCP-4845.
+
As Bison-01’s camera begins to survey the area, the five figures surround it. The entities appear identical to baseline humans, with three males and two females present. Their facial expressions and postures imply a lack of hostility towards Bison-01, and they appear to be attempting to speak to the rover. Due to its audio-recording devices having been attuned to accompany the lunar atmosphere rather than a terrestrial one, the entities' voices are heavily distorted and the content of these communications cannot be made out.
+
Bison-01 proceeds around the establishment, taking note of the signage, seating, and menu. The entities disperse but continue to observe Bison-01 as it records data. After five minutes, Project Lead Dr. Caballero decides that sufficient data has been collected by the rover and the order to terminate the exploration is issued. As Bison-01 exits SCP-4845, one of the entities can be seen speaking and waving goodbye to the rover.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Future manned explorations into SCP-4845 are being considered once Site-169 has been fully established.
Bearded caucasian male, brown hair with some graying, estimated to be in late 30s.
+
Self-described as the "Assistant Manager" of SCP-4845.
+
+
+
-A2
+
Hispanic male, brown hair, estimated to be in early 20s.
+
Kitchen, bathroom cleaning.
+
+
+
-A3
+
Caucasian male, brown hair, estimated to be in early 20s.
+
Kitchen and food area cleaning.
+
+
+
-A4
+
Caucasian female, blonde hair, estimated to be in early 20s.
+
Register and drive-thru.
+
+
+
-A5
+
Asian female, black hair, estimated to be in late teens.
+
Register and performs machine maintenance when needed.
+
+
+
All instances possess immunity to radiation and other forms of harmful energy capable of penetrating the Moon's atmosphere. Additionally, all are able to healthily survive on diets lacking nutrients usually required for human functionality, with said diets being composed entirely out of SCP-4845 menu items or their components. Instances are believed to possess increased psychological stability as well, due to their resistance to expected mental stresses associated with SCP-4845's isolated location.
Shortly after the establishment of Site-169 roughly 0.5 kilometers from SCP-4845, Site-169 Psychologist Dr. Saberstein conducted an interview with SCP-4845-A1 on 3/16/21 to discern further details about SCP-4845 and its inhabitants. The transcript is provided below.
+
+
Interview Video Log Transcript
+
Interview 01 Video Log
+
Date: 2/24/2022
+
Interviewer: Dr. Saberstein, Site-169 Psychologist
+
Interviewee: SCP-4845-A1
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
(SCP-4845-A1 leads Dr. Saberstein to the managerial office at the back of SCP-4845 and invites him to sit down in a chair facing a desk. Dr. Saberstein sits, SCP-4845-A1 closes the door behind them and seats himself behind the desk.)
+
SCP-4845-A1: Assistant Manager Kyle of the only Taco Bell on this humble, little moon at your service. Now what can I do for ya, doc?
+
Dr. Saberstein: I just have a few questions for you.
+
SCP-4845-A1: I bet. Even for you guys it must be a bit odd to find a random fast food joint so out of place like this.
+
Dr. Saberstein: (Laughs lightly.) Well, it wouldn’t be the first time. But as for this fine establishment, could you tell me how it got here in the first place?
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Nods.) So here all five of us are, it’s a slow, midnight graveyard shift at our humble Taco Bell in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming. All of a sudden some strange stuff starts happening. Odd lights, sudden wind outside, and this weird buzzing sound that kept getting louder, then, bam! (He gestures wildly.) A bright flash of light and everything outside goes dark again.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Interesting.
+
SCP-4845-A1: Beth ran out to see what happened, turned pale as a ghost, and ran inside screaming about how she could see another planet in the sky. We all went to check it out, and sure enough there was a big blue marble staring down at us. Only then did we notice the desert and strip mall around us were gone.
+
Dr. Saberstein: That must have been quite a shock.
+
SCP-4845-A1: You have no idea.
+
(SCP-4845-A1 leans back in his chair, kicks his feet up on the table, and begins twiddling his thumbs.)
+
SCP-4845-A1: Well, naturally, we all began to panic. None of our phones had signal as you would expect, so calling for help was out of the question. We quickly realized that it wasn’t some new planet in the sky, that was our planet that we had somehow left behind.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Then what did you do?
+
SCP-4845-A1: Tried to find a way back. It didn’t take us very long to figure out that whatever put us here didn’t want us to leave, though. Miguel would try running past the parking lot and immediately get launched back by some unseen force. Maybe it’s for our own good, you know? After all, I wouldn’t expect us to be able to breathe out there.
+
Dr. Saberstein: You’d be right on that part, Kyle, vacuums do tend to be rather detrimental to human physiology.
+
SCP-4845-A1: Yeah. Anyways, we started trying to make sense of what was happening to us. It took a few days, but eventually the panic started to subside, and we started to get more and more used to it. Tacos for breakfast, burritos for lunch, something else for dinner, and a Baja Blast to wash it all down. Plus, those booths are surprisingly easy to sleep on.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Interesting. Now, how've you been able to survive out here without any food shipments or resupplies?
+
SCP-4845-A1: Well, that would be the manager’s doing. (Nodding to the landline telephone on the desk.) Occasionally this little thing will ring, and when I answer the same voice will always respond with someone or something speaking. It's not quite male, not quite female, and definitely not human.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Really? What does it say?
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Shrugs.) Usually it’ll ask how we’re doing and if we (Imitating quotation marks with his fingers,) “need anything while I’m out.” Then it’ll start briefing me on new menu items set to come out soon, and when to put up the posters, and all that.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Have you ever seen this, uh, manager?
+
SCP-4845-A1: Not yet, doc. Whatever it is has yet to actually make an appearance here.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Do you think it could be hostile in any way?
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Shakes his head.) Nah, I don’t think so. Something tells me that it wishes us well, or at the very least wants to keep us alive and working.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Huh. But about the food, you said the manager takes care of restocking?
+
SCP-4845-A1: One way or another. One minute the walk-in fridge and freezer will be empty, the next—(SCP-4845-A1 gestures with his hands again.) Poof! Produce, meat, and bags of soda syrup where there was nothing a second ago. Sometimes they'll even leave the new promotional posters and menu items they mentioned over the phone. A similar thing happens to anything we throw in the dumpster, too. Toss it in, close the lid, open it back up, and it's just empty.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Huh. Have you ever seen the food appearing or garbage disappearing?
+
SCP-4845-A1: Not once. If it is the manager, whatever they're doing won’t work if they’re being watched, I guess.
+
Dr. Saberstein: (Chuckles.) Maybe they’re just shy.
+
SCP-4845-A1: They just might be.
+
Dr. Saberstein: And how long have you lived like this?
+
SCP-4845-A1: Years, at this point. We’ve all gotten used to it, though. It does get pretty boring around here, and business is about as slow as you’d expect for a Taco Bell on the Moon, but we do what we can to keep busy. Beth writes cringy fanfics on her laptop, Miguel stargazes, you get the idea.
+
Dr. Saberstein: I guess you don’t get much business around here anyway, do you?
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Shaking his head.) No, occasionally we’ll get customers. Nothing human of course; sometimes they look like us, sometimes they don’t. (He shrugs.) But hey, if they’ve got the money, we can make the magic happen. Of course, it’s never the kind of money we’re familiar with, but it’s gotta be worth something to someone somewhere, right? After all, as soon as we pop it into the register it just vanishes.
+
Dr. Saberstein: (Hesitantly.) Right. Would you mind describing some of these, uh, customers?
+
SCP-4845-A1: (SCP-4845-A1 waves his hand dismissively.) No point. Once they stop by they usually never come back. Maybe we’re like an interstellar rest stop or something? I wouldn't be surprised, plus I've kind of gathered as much from the manager's comments over the phone.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Alright then. So, has the isolation of this place affected you in any way you can tell?
+
SCP-4845-A1: Beyond being bored, not really. I mean, yeah I generally miss Earth and all that but there just isn’t much that, well, all five of us, really, left behind. I was living in a rundown motel, and the rest of the team was either estranged or just on the run from something in their past. You could say it doesn’t really make a difference, being up here. At least the view is nice.
+
Dr. Saberstein: (Scribbling more notes.) Alright, thank you. Anything else you’d like to add?
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Tilting his head slightly and looking down at his desk.) I guess I’d just say to watch your step out there. If the manager went through all the trouble of teleporting an entire fucking Taco Bell onto the Moon, it’s probably not going to take kindly to, uh, meddlers, I guess you could say.
+
Dr. Saberstein: Would that mean your employer seems like the violent type?
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Waving defensively.) No, no, no! I’m just saying that not even we know what exactly is behind this whole debacle or what will happen if it’s not kept happy. Plus, there’s no telling what it might think now that you’ve set up your base over yonder.
+
(SCP-4845-A1 gets up from his chair and looks out the window. A brilliant sky of stars is visible above the dusty gray wastes outside. He turns back to Dr. Saberstein and waves dismissively with his hand.)
+
SCP-4845-A1: Eh, I don’t think anything’ll come of it. Besides, with you Foundation guys so close by, business will be booming like never before!
+
Dr. Saberstein: Yes, hopefully.
+
(Dr. Saberstein stands and shakes hands with SCP-4845-A1 as the two exit the office. Just as he is about to prepare to return to Site-169, Dr. Saberstein turns back to SCP-4845-A1.)
+
Dr. Saberstein: Oh, one more thing…
+
SCP-4845-A1: Yeah?
+
Dr. Saberstein: (Reaching into his pockets and looking up at the menu.) I could seriously go for a chalupa or two right now.
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Chuckles.) Will that be for here or to go?
+
[END LOG]
+
The "manager" described by SCP-4845-A1 has been given a provisional designation as SCP-4845-B for the time being. Activity relating to SCP-4845-B is to be reported to Site-169 should it occur.
Incident 4845.A: On 5/20/22, a massive, space-faring vessel of undetermined origin was detected in geostationary orbit over SCP-4845. Approximately fifteen minutes after detection, a beam of light descended from the vessel and enveloped SCP-4845. At the time, several personnel from Site-169 were dining at SCP-4845; radio communication with them proved ineffective and additional personnel were physically unable to access SCP-4845 due to the beam.
+
Ten minutes later, the beam dissipated and the vessel departed. Personnel outside then entered SCP-4845 to speak with those inside. All personnel and SCP-4845-A instances inside appeared uncomfortable but otherwise unharmed. The SCP-4845-A instances eventually resumed their duties and affected personnel were returned to Site-169 for psychological evaluation.
+
A camera pack on a present personnel's equipment was left on for the duration of the event, and the footage was successfully extracted. A transcript of its contents is available below.
+
+
Incident Video Log Transcript
+
Incident 01 Video Log
+
Date: 5/20/2022
+
Personnel Present: Researchers Griffin and Price, Dr. Cade; SCP-4845-A members
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
The camera pack is resting on the ground near the door as the footage starts; due to its positioning, the register counter and some tables are visible. SCP-4845-A2 is working the register and is taking Researcher Price’s order, with Researcher Griffin waiting behind and Dr. Cade already seated and eating his food. Suddenly the interior of the room is engulfed in a flash of bright light that lasts for approximately ten seconds before fading, revealing a new figure present in the middle of the room.
+
The entity appears as a light purple, vaguely cephalopodic humanoid clothed in formal attire carrying a briefcase. Its head is composed of a cephalopodic mantle, with two large eyes bulging outwards near the front of its head; several small tentacles hang down from the front of its face similar in appearance to a mustache. The figure’s exact size cannot be determined due to the angling of the camera but it appears to be over three meters in height.
+
As SCP-4845-A1 enters the room from his office, the entity turns towards him and appears to smile, with its facial tentacles drawing upwards to reveal a horizontally-elongated beak. It approaches him casually, speaking rapidly and energetically in English.
+
Entity: Kyle! How are you? I haven’t seen you in… how long has it been again?
+
SCP-4845-A1: I’m doing well, Mr. uh, Manager?
+
Entity: (The entity looks puzzledly at SCP-4845-A1 before tapping its own head with its tentaclesque arm.) Silly me, even after all this time we’ve never been formally introduced, have we?
+
SCP-4845-A1: N-no, I don’t think we have.
+
Entity: (Reaching for SCP-4845-A1’s hand.) Well in that case, I’m (the entity emits a series of clicks, hisses, and a high-pitched burst of static that causes present personnel to cringe), but you can just call me “Boss,” it’s way shorter. Nice to finally meet you in person.
+
SCP-4845-A1: (Limply shaking the entity’s extended tentacle.) Likewise.
+
(The entity begins to look around the room, notices Dr. Cade, and struts over to him.)
+
Entity: Mr. (another series of clicks, hisses, and static), manager of this fine establishment at your service. How are you enjoying your food?
Entity: Great to hear! Here, have a lollipop! (The entity produces a single chocolate Tootsie Pop from its pocket and tosses it into Dr. Cade’s lap.) And relax, kid, you look like you’ve never seen a (a different series of high-pitched noises and static) before.
+
(Dr. Cade slowly pockets the item as the entity turns and walks towards SCP-4845-A1. As it passes Griffin and Price it pats them on their backs.)
+
Entity: Thank you for your patronage, fellas. Now, Kyle would you mind showing me where the others are? I thought I’d say hello before heading out.
+
SCP-4845-A1: Sure thing.
+
(The entity follows SCP-4845-A1 into the backrooms of SCP-4845 and disappears from view of the camera. All Foundation personnel fall silent and look at each other perplexedly. Dr. Cade resumes eating his burrito.)
+
Griffin: Guys, I think I just shit my pants.
+
(After a few minutes the entity and SCP-4845-A1 reemerge from the backrooms.)
+
Entity: Alright, Kyle, it was nice to finally check in with you all.
+
SCP-4845-A1: It was nice to see you too, uh, Boss.
+
Entity: Alrighty, I’m off. Other restaurants to manage, other food to sell, other people to deal with, et cetera, et cetera. So long!
+
(It steps forward into the center of the room, looks towards the camera pack, waves, and winks. A bright light envelopes SCP-4845 once again then quickly dissipates. SCP-4845-A1 returns to the backrooms again and the remaining personnel are silent. At this point the beam preventing access to SCP-4845 is lifted and personnel outside enter the building.)
+
[END LOG]
+
+
The entity encountered is believed to be SCP-4845-B. Research into its current whereabouts is underway.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-494 does not require any special containment procedures, other than being kept under lock and key in Storage Bunker ██ at Site ██. Level 2 clearance and written permission from a Level 4 or higher researcher is required for testing procedures regarding SCP-494.
+
Description: SCP-494 appears to be a regular pair of black leather fingerless gloves. SCP-494’s anomalous features can only be observed while worn by a human subject. Upon being fitted onto the hand, SCP-494 will change size to match that of its wearer. Test subjects have described the feeling of wearing the gloves as if they were “not wearing gloves at all”.
+
SCP-494’s true anomalous nature is revealed in that when an object is held in each gloved hand, after exactly five minutes, the two objects’ makeup will be suddenly traded. The range of materials that can be transferred as yet seems to have no limit, and has been observed to create working machines and even living organisms from the materials provided. (see Test Log for details)
+
SCP-494 seems to have some limitations, such as the fact that only objects that can be supported by the wearers strength (artificial assistance, such as leaning one’s hands against a wall or table, seems to negate the effects of the gloves) will be transformed, and for reasons unknown, the gloves will refuse to work when worn by a subject over the age of sixty (60).
Test 494-1
+Materials:
+Right hand: One (1) 0.24 carat diamond
+Left hand: One (1) Regular golf ball
+
Result:
+Right hand: One (1) diamond-shaped piece of plastic
+Left hand: One (1) rounded crystal formation, two (2) inches in diameter. Diffractometry confirms monocrystalline diamond.
+
+
+
Test 494-2
+Materials:
+Right hand: One (1) Nokia flip-cover cellular phone
+Left hand: Two (2) stainless steel razor blades
+
Result:
+Right hand: One (1) hinged stainless steel box with acid-etched surfaces denoting a cellphone keypad.
+Left hand: Two (2) millimeter-thick machines with small screens and microscopic computer circuitry. Found to be fully functional as cellular phones.
+
+
+
Test 494-3
+Materials:
+Right hand: One (1) white laboratory rat
+Left hand: One (1) 1974 penny
+
Result:
+Right hand: One (1) copper statuette of a rat
+Left hand: One (1) small, disk-shaped organism with white fur. Though lacking sensory organs or any observed lungs or digestive system, organism is entirely viable and responds to external stimuli such as light and pain.
+
+
+
Test 494-4
+Materials:
+Right hand: One (1) vial containing live streptococcus bacteria
+Left hand: One (1) white laboratory rat
+
Result:
+Right hand: One (1) vial containing animal cells with DNA of rat
+Left hand: No observable difference aside from a slight change in the hue of the animal's fur. However, after further observation, the resulting animal proved to be capable of asexual reproduction; it proceeded to give birth to seventy-seven young within an hour, without any indication of stopping. Resulting offspring grew rapidly, maturing within a half-hour. Mature offspring in turn produced their own offspring. All animals were subsequently incinerated. Estimations of rate of reproduction suggest over one hundred thousand (100,000) young would have been produced within a day.
+Note: All tests involving the effects of SCP-494 on live microorganisms are now strictly prohibited.
+
+
Addendum 494-1: Suggestions for testing the effects of SCP-494 on SCP-500 in conjunction with other materials are currently pending approval.
The Incident HABSPA SCP-4998 instantiation (detailed below).
+
+
+
+
Item: SCP-4998
+
Object Class: Keter
+
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation influence is being utilized to socially engineer the artistic preference for interrupted, angular geometries in architecture so as to minimize the size of SCP-4998 instances. Comparative influences are being propagated in the use of mosaics, murals, and arabesques upon pre-existing structures. Agents embedded into localized urban subcultures are to covertly generate graffiti upon offending advertisements on-sight, per Operation Banksy.
+
Wherever possible, events that coordinate the aggregation of uniformly-colored clothing or signage are to be stymied by planted agents or by other means of civil disruption.
+
Description: SCP-4998 is the designation for a group of advertisements that spontaneously manifest in spaces previously unutilized for commercial marketing. Potential habitats for SCP-4998 include both physical and digital negative spaces. The advertisements house potent visual and/or auditory memetic agents that disproportionately increase the desirability of the featured product or company.
+
Instances can be either static or dynamic, and most often appear in areas where the possibility of exposure is relatively high (e.g. highly-urban environments or websites with significant traffic). Physical mediums typically involve building materials, but instances have been observed on the superficial layers of biological tissues, such as the skin and other organs.1 Investigation regarding the origin and dissemination of SCP-4998 persists.
+
Manifestation occurs via ill-understood means over the course of approximately 30 seconds to twelve minutes, irrespective of size or location. Adverts can appear on parchment that is attached to surfaces2 or be directly upon surfaces by means of paint, ink, etchings, or unexplained pigmentation of the native material. SCP-4998 occupies digital spaces by incorporating itself into the source code and can adopt a multitude of known and unknown languages.
+
Attempts to efface the advertisements have been met with unexpected difficulties; physical instantiations are either indelible or anomalously affixed to the affected structure while digital ones do not respond to editing the code. SCP-4998 instances upon physical surfaces can be managed either by applying concealment such as paint or by demolishing the involved structure entirely. Both are considered temporary, as recurrence rates are high and there are currently no known means to prevent SCP-4998's ongoing annexation of negative spaces.
+Companies linked to SCP-4998 instances consistently deny placing or contracting the advertisements. Despite a recognizable motive for such companies, no tangible evidence has yet to be established in a court of law.3 The Foundation has inserted auditory and visual memetic components within the presentations of involved judicial practitioners to discourage the consideration that the etiology of the advertisements may be preternatural. The majority of cases resolve without official litigation, the most likely explanation considered to be the work of highly-skilled stencil-graffiti artists.
+
+
+
+
Instance: 6
+Location: Taj Mahal - Agra, India
+Size: 40m x 40m
+Notes: An advert for a Japanese car manufacturer, etched into the structure by unknown means. The mausoleum has been coated with memetic nanotechnology to make the advert virtually undetectable and will need to be demolished for definite removal.4
+
+
+
Instance: 8
+Location: www.██████.com5
+Size: 200p x 250p
+Notes: An advert for consolidated financial solutions. Embedded code identified as XHTML. Attempts to remove are unsuccessful. Site's services not interrupted due to projected financial loss, advert remains.6
+
+
+
Instance: 9
+Location: Target Import Warehouse - Savannah, Georgia, USA
+Size: 27 square acres
+Notes: An advert for Wal-Mart. Was painted and appeared on the roof, which is the most identifiable structure from an aerial perspective in the region. Was painted over with significant cost and labor.
+
+
+
Instance: 14
+Location: PoI-4998-2
+Size: 15cm x 8cm
+Notes: An advert for Cola-Cola was spontaneously inserted onto the forehead of child movie star ██████ ████, now PoI-4998-2. Complete removal necessitated surgical excision and grafting, as the advert extended onto the subdermal and dural tissues. The incident was caught quickly enough to quell potential public and familial exposure. This resulted in cosmetic changes that ended the career of the child. Cover-story regarding a motor vehicle accident distributed.
+
+
+
Instance: 16
+Location: 45°58′35.0″N 7°39′31.0″E
+Size: ~700m x 675m
+Notes: Advert for a purified, bottled water product with dynamic images depicting individuals hiking with the product prominently displayed. Corporealized upon the South-facing slope of Matterhorn and in the presence of several onlooking hikers. The possibility that SCP-4998 is "learning" to target certain demographics is now being investigated as legitimate.
+
+
+
Instance: 21
+Address: ███████████
+Size: 154p x 192p
+Notes: The first of several advertisements that appear upon digital documentation on the SCiPNET server and the database's files, including files with up to Level 5 Security Clearance. Adverts combated with real-time suppression of algorithmic A.I.
+
+
+
Instance: 23
+Location: Los Angeles, CA
+Size: 14cm x 14cm
+Notes: Several adverts for McDonald’s appeared at various locations on players’ jerseys over the course of the second quarter of an NBA game. The event was broadcast to an estimated audience of 1,180,000 viewers. Engineered countermemetics were promptly displayed in place of commercial inserts. Neither the percentage of viewers who noticed the manifestation nor the success of the counterinnocuoation can be accurately estimated.
+
+
+
Instance: 25
+Location: Penn State University
+Size: 54m x 28m
+Notes: Several hundred were killed at a football game wherein a “white out”7 was being performed. An advertisement quickly manifested over the reported area, crushing and/or bisecting the civilians as it incorporated into their collective mass. The internal “logic” of SCP-4998 likely misinterpreted the collective as a negative space. Class-naught amnestics distributed via agricultural aircraft, cover-story developed around stadium structural collapse.
+
+
+
Instance: 30
+Location: Igualada, Spain
+Size: ~20m x 20m
+Notes: See “Incident HABSPA”
+
+
+
Instance: 34
+Location: 22°S 17°E
+Size: ~3000m x 3000m
+Notes: An inordinate advertisement promoting travel to the USA appeared across the visible sky above Namibia, Africa. The number of individuals exposed is unknown, however local airports were soon thereafter overrun with individuals wishing to travel to the USA. They were treated with class-naught memory impairment, which proved vital to information containment, and were subsequently redispersed. Their numbers were estimated in the 1.5 millions. The advertisement vanished shortly after a storm system arrived in the area 2 days later.
+
+
+
Instance: 45
+Location: Site-49, Weaponry Annex, East wall
+Size: 3.2m x 3.2m
+Notes: See “PoI-4998-1”
+
+
+
Instance: 51
+Location: Thoracic cavity of Agent Belopolsky (right upper lobe, right lower lobe, left upper lobe, left lower lobe of lungs).
+Size: 3cm-10cm in diameter (4 total).
+Notes: Advert for home health nursing services. Resulted in the respiratory arrest and sudden death of Agent Belopolsky. As of instance 51, SCP-4998 is assumed to be capable of complex forethought.
+
+
+
Instance: 54
+Location: Office wall of O5-5.
+Size: 1m x 1m
+Notes: Advert for Liberty Life Insurance. Was taken as a deliberate threat, O5-5 evacuated and taken to ████. Security threat level for O5s escalated and protocols initiated.
+
+
+
+
Incident HABSPA
+
On 7/5/17, the Foundation insignia appeared over the course of approximately twelve minutes upon the surface of an inflated hot air balloon which was participating in the annual European Balloon Festival in Igualada, Spain. Upon its recognition by field agents, an aerial unit was dispatched to escort the aircraft to a remote location. Upon landing, the insignia was found to be indistinguishable from the material used to construct the envelope of the balloon.
+
The witnesses were given standard-issue amnestics. However, residual curiosity of the insignia and its correlating entity remained, likely due to the strength of the memetic effect in SCP-4998 instantiations. A bivalent effort began to quickly design a highly-communicable counteragent; one branch undertook the creation of an counter-meme , the other an amnestic. The result of this pressurized research was the development of “class-naught” bacterioamnestics8, which were applied prophylactically across a radius of ~1200m, effectively amnesticizing an estimated 14,000 individuals.
+
The passengers of the balloon were reconnoitered and questioned. All denied knowledge of the insignia's presence. They were deemed reliable and released after chronic installment of the mentioned class-naught amnestics. After 4 days of isolation in storage at the nearest provisional site, the insignia disappeared from the surface of the balloon (confirmational footage remains). It has been theorized that this was due, at least in part, to a diminishment of potential viewership, which the instantiation may have somehow been sensitive to. Additional containment procedures are being authored that incorporate the isolation of movable instances.
Instantiations of SCP-4998 that appear on transportable surfaces that are not successfully treated by initial methods are to be mobilized into Foundation-supervised concealment for a minimum of four days. This is particularly indicated for individuals who experience manifestations upon the skin. Such individuals are to be acquired by clandestine means and maintained in a medically induced coma while managed by Foundation medical services for purposes of both cost and informational containment. Those in relational proximity to the contained individual are to be subject to the indicated memory impairment until the contained individual is released.
+
+On 7/13/18, an instance of SCP-4998 appeared on Foundation Site-49's Eastern wall of the Weaponry annex that was heat-branded upon the building material. The advert, the manifestation of which was captured by video feeds, was a placeholder which read "Ad space available, inquire at [REDACTED]." Upon calling the number, an individual who referred to himself as "Miguel" answered. Below are transcripts of all conversations.
+
Ad
+
+
+
7/14/18
+
(The line rings.)
+
Miguel: And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?
+
Agent Belopolsky: This is Agent Charles Belopolsky.
+
Miguel: Ah, from the Foundation, yes? Fantastic organization. Just great.
+
Agent Belopolsky: So you've planted the number specifically for us?
+
Miguel: Naturally.
+
Agent Belopolsky: I'm afraid nothing about this is natural.
+
Miguel: Nothing comes more naturally to me than business. And I've got a lot of money. How do you think I got it? Real estate ads. Now it's everything ads. You must have been tasked with finding out how my marketing services operate. Of course. Well that means I have quite an audience. Quite an informational presentation I've got for you here. (excitedly) Is O5 listening as well? Hello! Great stuff.
+
Agent Belopolsky: How is it that you know of us?
+
Miguel: The Foundation? Ca'mon. From my history lessons. A select few of us have been taught all about the big Foundation. Y'all were the best. Were. Unbelievable though. Without you, or your anomalies rather, the wars would be much less interesting, much less profitable. What a treasure trove. Just sitting there, all with their own addresses and instructions. Just great.
+
Agent Belopolsky: I don't quite understand.
+
Miguel: Come on now, yes you do. Yes you do. Don't make me spell it out exactly, someone could be listening. Temporal anomalies, shifts, integrations, re-integrations, displacements…it's all there in your database already, no? Oops…or don't you have the required clearance level for those? Nice. Right, I forgot about that tiered system. I barely passed that history class if I recall correctly…it was some time ago…bad teacher. I told that teacher she was fired, and she was. At 9 years old, can'ya believe it?! I sure can. Good grades otherwise, the best.
+
Agent Belopolsky: Okay. If you're from the future and such temporal maneuvers are possible, then how haven't we been contacted by say, one of our own? Surely we would have important information to tell ourselves.
+
Miguel: I may have violated some minor intertemporal laws to be here. Easy for an individual of my persuasion and influence to do. Oops there I go. Ah well. Not that you have the jurisdiction to do anything about it. Or the capability. Only Nestlé does…Johnson&Johnson too, maybe. Maybe Nabisco. Definitely not anybody else, not you guys, not anymore. Me, soon, very soon. We’ll see…what you don't believe me? Trust me when I say this: believe me. Ok?
+
Agent Belopolsky: I see. So you are a…trans-chronal felon?
+
+Miguel: Well it's not felonious really, just sort of illegal. There are some investigations goin on, or ongoing, I dunno. They can't really end if I keep committing crimes, can they? (chuckles) I'm kidding. I'm a kidder. People think I’m very funny, strangers do too.
+
Agent Belopolsky: …
+
Miguel: Did I lose you there? Tell me if you can hear me. Hello?
+
+Agent Belopolsky: I'm here.
+
Miguel: Oh. I thought "Damn AT&T". Is that who you use? They are really losing territory. Poor management, you gotta have good managerial leadership to survive out there. You're receiving orders through the feed from your peers probably. Am I right? I have a knack for being right. That's what led me to start this business. Real successful, lemme tell you.
+
Agent Belopolsky: Let's cut the shit here. We're interested in the "history" of the Foundation.
+
+Miguel: Of course. Well I won't say much, so you know. Let’s be clear. The more I stir up here in the film(?), the faster I get the Trustees knocking on my door. Ads, even big ones, are one thing…but…information of that nature is so sensitive not even your O5's could touch it. Believe me. I'm here to simply offer you monetary and military leverage in the decades to come, enough to compete with the corporations. See, one day you won't be containing anomalies, but CEOs, unnaturally powerful CEOs. Now. You’ve witnessed the influence I can create; so lets make a deal.
+
+Agent Belopolsky: You really did fail your history lessons. There are very few if any agencies or entities in better martial posturing than we are right now. We don't see that changing or being challenged by any corporation, much less most governments. I've got to point out, you aren't very prepared for this business meeting, you haven't thought of how we would be able to trust you; you could be a saboteur. Maybe we're imposingly successful in the future and that's why you're here. With a Trojan horse.
+
Miguel: A Trogan wha? Sir, I am in the business of retrospective economic warfare…a black market operation of course, but the whole of the war effort is really…comparatively, I am benign, really. So many others are and need to be put into the void(?), but not me, not me. Listen, I am coming to you…show some thanks…with an offer that is mutualistic. That's all I'm here for. I am a man of my word, you'll see. Plus I already put an ad basically on your front door; I’ve got no tricks, could’ve and would’ve by now. That I'm offering you some help should be a hint to you. Ok ok, I’ll say this about your organization; turns out it is much easier to gain territory and employees when you don’t have to remain a secret from the masses. Get it?
+
+Agent Belopolsky: Why contact us via telephone of all things?
+
+Miguel: It's a forgotten technology. Less likely that the Trustees will catch on.
+
+Agent Belopolsky: You've mentioned war several times now. I assume it is between these Trustees?
+
+Miguel: Oh yes. I started this operation just before the seventh Great Corporate War actually. Started it with just a little help from my father.
+
Agent Belopolsky: Who makes up the armies?
+
Miguel: Who do you think?
+
+Agent Belopolsky: I find the idea of corporations warring with each other and their armies being made of either employees or those loyal to the brands kind of ridiculous and unbelievable.
+
Miguel: Really? Is your clairvoyance really that underdeveloped? Sorry, I'm sorry really. That's no way to treat a potential client. I'm a nice guy, a good guy. Really. Look, I am genuinely shocked this is an alarming concept to you. All I can say really is that communism will not win. You guys still got commies?
+
Agent Belopolsky: Alright, so let me get this clear for the record: You influence the assets of major corporations as part of a future intracapitalist war effort?
+
Miguel: Well technically I influence the past assets of major and previously minor corporations as part of the current intracapitalist war effort. But hey I get what you mean, I get it. It's rather close to home of a concept actually, isn't it? A bit backwards in these days…the corporations sort of hide behind the war efforts instead of outwardly sponsoring them, but yes, we don't use the word "nation" or "country" anymore. Those are silly, archaic words that will get you laughed at. Not that I've been laughed at, I haven't. Ever. People take me very seriously. Unless I’m making them laugh. It's all corporations though, they run it all. Religions; they are sponsored by companies. Some have become ones themselves. Sleeping; we have ads inserted into our dreams and onto our mirrors in the morning. Eating; Nestlé sponsors the very act; 23rd Century Fox, copulation. This is all normal, real normal. Bottled water could have been your bit of foreshadowing, but hey. Nobody's perfect, mkay? Not even yours truly. Close though, very very close. Now are you interested in purchasing some ad space or not?
+
Agent Belopolsky: Of course we aren't. I thought you were the clairvoyant one.
+
Miguel: Shame. Why do you think I made such a splash with these ads? I mean we really could tap the fledgling interdimensional markets together. It'd be the best, no one has better access than me, no one. So if you ever want to put those anomalous temporal spaces to good use, you know what number to call, Agent Ambassador. Ok? Buh-bye now, buh-bye.
+
(The call is ended.)
+
+
+
+
05/28/19
+
(The line rings.)
+
Miguel: Yellow?
+
Agent Belopolsky: This is Charles Belopolsky.
+
Miguel: Who is this?
+
Agent Belopolsky: I'm with the Foundation.
+
Miguel: Wait wait. Just wait. I know who you are ok? I remember. You're Clairvoyant Chuck. See? I have a great memory…one of the best ever. I am the least forgetful person you have ever seen, uh'k? Now what can I do for you Ambassador?
+
Agent Belopolsky: We're prepared to make a deal.
+
Miguel: Ah! Perfect, perfect. You bluebird. I shouldn't say it, but I knew you'd call back. I have a way with deals. It's in my bloodline. So what are we looking at here? Info for money? Let me post up a bant and we will get this rolling.
+
Agent Belopolsky: We'll pay to you reproduce the Foundation logo within the headquarters of a GoI. Are you around a console?
+
Miguel: Yes.
+
Agent Belopolsky: I'm going to give you the reference code. It's A039d.
+
Miguel: I see. Okay okay. (can be heard chuckling) Wow, but is anybody really surprised? Oh my. A rival GoI, eh?
+
Agent Belopolsky: They currently do not have the requisite measures to qualify as a "rival". In any case, we'd like just some sporadic insignias if possible, preferably with a morale-reducing memetic in-tow.
+
Miguel: Ah, I see. There's just one problem. One big problem.
+
Agent Belopolsky: What's that?
+
Miguel: I can materialize the ads, but I can't guarantee they'll stay for very long.
+
Agent Belopolsky: Why?
+
Miguel: The numbers. It's no good. To stay, the ads need a certain amount of attention focused upon them to work. Very advanced for you. High-tech stuff. I guess it's kinda like the old solar energy panels you all are gaga for. What a farce. Blackouts everywhere. What a mistake.
+
Agent Belopolsky: That isn't really the crux of the matter, we don't need the help. Truthfully, it's the only way the Ethics committee would approve the transaction, and so the information we want. So just do what you can.
+
Miguel: Right. Ethics. What a farce. Blackouts everywhere. What a mistake.
+
Agent Belopolsky: How will we pay you?
+
Miguel: Write me an I.O.U. in official letterhead. I'll have it cashed in my time…there's a nice deflation going on now, conversion factor is good. Real good for Miguel. Not surprised.
+
Agent Belopolsky: So we do still exist by your time.
+
Miguel: Oops. That one was a freebie. But you didn't pull the sheet over my eyes, no. Just a little aperitif to whet your whistle. Big stuff once I can get it cashed. Not that money is that big of a deal to me, I have plenty.
+
Agent Belopolsky: How long until we know it has been credit—
+
Miguel: It's done. Right, what do you want to know?
+
Agent Belopolsky: …I'm not sure if you know this, but the incidence of the ads has increased 200-fold in the last six months. They are becoming bolder and more reckless in their manifestations and becoming much harder to deal with. One was found within SCP-915 for God’s sake. For IBM.
+
Miguel: Oo. 915 huh? Lemme see here, lemme see (typing can be heard). Ah it tapped the interdimensions. Beautiful. Not ostentatious, but effective. Nice word, I know what you're thinking. I do have some great words. What can I say? As for your problem…you know, some advice; our kids aren't really our own. They aren't, are they? Sure they look like us. But we are the bow. And they? They are the arrow, see? They…become a bow themselves. In time I guess. Anyway, doesn't matter. That's a big thought. Don't steal that one. I think big. A lot. Sometimes my thoughts are too big for even my great words, you know?
+
Agent Belopolsky: Are you or are you not in control of SCP-4998?
+
Miguel: That's what you call it? Sounds like a bad sci-fi movie. That's a mess. Look. I didn't design it, I funded it. I got it taken care of. Now I use it because that's how I told them to make it. Best thing since the printing press. If I wanted to do all the work and learning and evolving myself, I wouldn't have payed for it in the first place, now huh? Doesn't make sense.
+
Agent Belopolsky: I think we've heard what we need to. You better find a way to rein in its behavior because this has the potential to get out of hand quick and be to both of our detriment.
+
Miguel: Hmm. I never thought about it that way. Whoops. Ironic, huh? One of those self-fulfilling prominences or something, right?
+
Agent Belopolsky: For all your self-praise, you're a very unpleasant individual to do business with, and I want you to know that is not just from me, but from the O5 too.
+
Miguel: C'mon that's not nice. I think I'm a nice person. I like me. People who know me, they know.
+
Agent Belopolsky: How does it work?
+
Miguel: Okay. Okay, here's the story. It's so eas—
+
(The call is interrupted by a 0:30 second ad for hair restoration services. This portion of the audio has been omitted.)
+
Miguel:…It's so easy. Your code is so primitive. It has a lot of issues.
+
Agent Belopolsky: The digital is the lesser of the anomalous behaviors. What about the physical manifestations?
+
Miguel: What you don't know? C'mon. Don't make me spell it out for you. You already know this, the big Foundation. Right?
+
Agent Belopolsky: I'm not sure you even know.
+
Miguel: Of course I know. I payed for it. I'm not sure you could comprehend it. Not like I can. This conversation is over. Thank you. It's over, capisce? That's enough. Thank you. Thank you very much.
+
(The call is ended.)
+
+
+
+
07/15/19
+
(The line rings.)
+
Miguel: Clairvoyant Chuck!
+
: No Belopolsky is dead.
+
Miguel: Oh. Shame. He was a nobody really. They’ve already gotten a replacement.
+
: Not quite. You can call me O-7.
+
Miguel: Well. Hello "O-7". A great summit this will be. Truly great.
+
O-7: The autopsy of Belopolsky showed massive pulmonary infection secondary to foreign bodies in the lungs. It wasn't food that he aspirated, it was ads. Your ads. So you can see we’ve got a big problem here.
+
Miguel: Hm. Not sure I can be held responsible. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't see how it would be me.
+
O-7: As much as we respect and want to fully honor Agent Belopolsky, we have more pressing matters to solve right now than justice for his untimely death, and he would agree. We're more interested in finding out anything that might help contain this. It is creating spaces for itself now. Ads are everywhere. They’re in the database, in the procedures, on the walls of our chambers, in the damn bathroom stalls. We can barely get our work done here. Our communication lines are starting to feature ads Miguel, asking us to subscribe to some voice-to-speech software in order to get rid of them. This is in the field, our people's lives are on the line.
+
Miguel: Hmm…you know we said these calls would be about business, ya know? And this one isn't, uh'k? It's not. Nasty stuff. You are lying and are a liar. If we wa-
+
O-7:(interrupting) Its mimicry is becoming frighteningly precise. I just clicked on what I thought was a L-5 security clearance lock and now I’m getting spam emails about identity protection. We're having to modify our database's formatting in response but its adaptability is something we can't seem to get far enough ahead of. Now, if you can help us, we are willing to compensate you.
+
Miguel: Hmm. Business. Ok I see. Deal. Well she's never done this on our end. It seems the film(?) of your time is less reinforced. Weak. It probably can sniff that and sees its opening. Shame. Real good for business though, I must say.
+
O-7: You’ve got to know something about how this thing you’re running works. Or did you literally just buy your way into it?
+
Miguel: Trust me, I’ve got the best brain.
+
O-7: Would you mind letting me pick at that great brain of yours, speaking of which?
+
Miguel: By all means.
+
O-7: Walter D. Scott.9 Albert Lasker.10 Edward Bernays.11 Leo Burnett.12 Do these names mean anything to you?
+
Miguel: Oh yes. Phenomenal. Some of the best. Them and Micheal Bisqueaux13, Jaden Farmer14, and uh, ol' what’s his name, Benjamin Franklin. These people and their predecessors; genius. While most saw a WWI airplane spiraling out of control and thought "Oh my God, that pilot is out of control and is going to die," these guys thought things like "I wonder if I could use smoke like that to write an ad in the sky." Marvelous. Really pushed the ad from explanation to exaggeration to exploitation. Just genius I tell you. They’re all regarded really as heroes in the modern age and for good reason. You will know of their significance in a few hundred years I bet. Took it a while to catch on, always does.
+
O-7: Why do you remember Benjamin Franklin?
+
Miguel: He was the first to put illustrations in advertisements.
+
O-7: Not for his other contributions?
+
Miguel: What other contributions? Oh yeah those too, those too. Good guy. Never met him.
+
O-7: I see. You know Miguel, you can glean a lot of information about a society by looking to who they revere. But you can glean even more about who's pulling the strings. We may never have suspected advertising of all things giving rise to a possible Holocene-class extinction scenario. I’d like to thank you for giving us such a forewarning on the current timeline’s natural course. You've caused quite a bother but as you've heard it said; “Sometimes by losing the battle, you find a way to win the war.” I think we will ultimately be better off now that we've met. You've been a bittersweet catalyst.
+
Miguel: Oops. Well. Glad to be of service. Always happy to make a client happy. There’s always a good deal with Miguel. I like that quote you said too. Heard it as a kid somewhere. Not sure who said that. Anyway. Nice doing business. Contact me if we can do more.
+
O-7: We won't.
+
(The call is ended.)
+
+
+
The Foundation was unable to successfully detain PoI-4998-01; after each call, a discarded burner phone with a matching number was located within a 25 m radius of the positive trace, despite the contact number never varying between calls. Transaction records have been inconclusive.
+
Pictures recovered from the burner phones have been placed in the “Media Gallery” section.
+
Forensic data gathered from the phones share a 6.25% match with ██████ ████ █████. The percent suggests PoI-4998-1 is related to the individual as a fourth-degree relative. The time-frame supplied by PoI-4998-1 ("23rd century", "a few hundred years") is congruous with this assessment. The genealogy of PoI-4998-1 is currently being deduced.
+
Update: The biological material collected from the phones thought to have been used by PoI-4998-1 no longer exists. No additional material is able to be recovered from the phones. New instances of SCP-4998 persist. Expeditious engineering of a Thaumiel-class ad-blocker remains a top Foundation priority.
Special Containment Procedures: Arrangements have been made under the guise of technical issues to move all of NBC's programming to another channel in order to isolate SCP-5123. An external hard drive has been programmed to record all iterations of SCP-5123 as soon as they air, after which a D-Class will watch the episode on a television set and take notes on any unusual changes in the latest iteration.
+
Description: SCP-5123 is the television show Late Nights with Joe Carter, a late night talk show starring the eponymous Joe Carter on NBC at 11:30 P.M. ET every Sunday night since 1963. To date, only one episode of SCP-5123 has ever been seen, with variations ranging from slight dialogue changes to altered guests and sequences occurring upon each subsequent airing.
+
The episode opens with a live band playing as Carter takes the stage, giving a brief monologue concerning current events, mostly focusing around the "recent" presidential victory of Lyndon B. Johnson. After a few remarks at an off-screen camera operator referred to as Dave that result in studio audience laughter, Carter introduces his guest Larry Mackenzie and takes a seat behind his desk.
+
Larry Mackenzie, who has been portrayed by a different person each airing, will sit down and begin discussing their new book A Look Behind The Paper, an account of their time as a reporter within the White House press corps during the Truman administration. Mackenzie and Carter will also interject at times with anecdotal humor about Johnson adjusting to presidential life.
+
The mood of Mackenzie appears to vary between iterations. While the majority appear comfortable on the show, some iterations will act uneasy, stuttering dialogue, forgetting their lines, or acting confused about their present surroundings. Carter will attempt to assist their way through the interview, but will appear somewhat irritated if Mackenzie goes off-script.
+
After three commercial breaks of a black soundless screen ranging from 5-7 minutes each, Carter will give an ending monologue to wrap up the show and advertise next week's show, mentioning a popular 1960's American celebrity1 who will appear on the upcoming episode. After the band closes out with an instrumental cover of My Way2, the show will end and be replaced by the channel's usual scheduling.
+
It should be noted that no television show by the name of Late Nights with Joe Carter has been recalled by NBC studio executives to have been hosted under their company. Similarly, no person matching Joe Carter's description or Larry Mackenzie's name and career has been found to have ever existed.
+
A single pristine photo of Joe Carter was found in the basement of 30 Rockefeller Plaza3 in New York, within a storage closet that had not been used for a number of years. On the backside of the photograph was a handwritten note.
+
+
Harry:
+
+
Not terrible, I’ll give you that. But you think anyone would pick Carter over Carson? Tell him to give us a call. We’re pricy, but worth it.
+
+
Addendum: On 20/12/2020, D-2343 noticed an unusual deviation in the latest iteration of SCP-5123.
+
+
VIDEO LOG
+
+
AIR DATE: 19/12/2020
+
ITERATION: 1203rd
+
+
[EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE REMOVED]
+
Carter: Dave, I'm gonna need you to keep your cameras sharp for this next fella, we don't want the ladies at home to be missing out.
+
Indistinct dialogue can be heard in the background, which causes laughter.
+
Carter: For those of you wondering why I haven't fired him yet, that's why. Always good for a laugh. Come on, look at him!
+
The audience laughs again.
+
Carter: I kid, I kid. He's a good man, got a lovely family. Anyways, let's introduce another good man. You know him from the New York Times, everyone give it up for Larry Mackenzie!
+
The audience applauds as Larry Mackenzie shuffles onto stage, appearing this time as an African-American man in his early thirties. He looks around with quick, darting eyes as Carter greets him and shows him to his seat.
+
Carter: Great to finally get you here, Larry. How's retired life been treating you?
+
SCP-5123-1 does not answer for several seconds. He appears to be breathing heavily. A cough from the audience alerts him.
+
SCP-5123-1: It's uh, good Joe. I suppose it's like my, my honeymoon.
+
Carter: Really? How's that?
+
SCP-5123-1: It's smooth sailing now, but oh boy, wait until you get home.
+
The audience and Carter both laugh. SCP-5123-1 nervously looks over at the camera and mouths something indistinct.
+
Carter: So, this book of yours, 'A Look Behind The Paper'. Picked it up the moment it came out, read every page. Loved it. So I suppose my question is, why wait until now to cover a, what, nearly 40-year-long career?
+
SCP-5123-1: Well in my line of work, you tend to see everything as a story. I thought about writing a book before, get some of my thoughts down onto some paper, but what's a story without a good ending? The day I was talking to Reba, my wife-
+
SCP-5123-1 pauses.
+
SCP-5123-1: Reba? Yes. No. No, that's not right…
+
Carter smiles, leaning closer towards SCP-5123-1. There is whispered murmuring from the audience.
+
Carter: You alright? Sounds like it's been a long day.
+
SCP-5123-1: Uh, yes! Yes, it's been a long day. I don't know why I said that, Reba's my wife. Uh… where was I?
+
Carter: Let's move on. So, what do you think made you want to be a reporter?
+
SCP-5123-1: Well you know, my… father? He, uh, worked as a newsprinter back in the day. Sometimes he'd bring me to work, have me check over the first few prints before copies really started hitting the tray. Guess there was just something about the feel of a paper in my hand.
+
Carter: Too bad you couldn't get a job as a paper reader, huh?
+
Carter laughs again, as does the audience. SCP-5123-1 smiles, but it does not reach his eyes.
+
Carter: So, lemme get this straight: you decided to retire right around when Johnson won the election? Worried he'd chuck you out of the press pool for writing about budget cuts?
+
SCP-5123-1: No, not as funny as that. It felt like a natural ending to my career, I suppose. The Congo and Bolivia, and the civil rights act- it's not my world anymore. Time to make way for a new generation, that's… Uh, that's what I would say. Hmm… that's. that's not right. The hell?
+
Additional murmuring from the audience can be heard.
+
Carter: Something wrong, Larry? Looking a little-
+
SCP-5123-1: My name's not Larry. It's Larry Lloyd- Jason Lloyd. I'm a programmer in California. Where the hell am I?
+
The audience's speech starts to rise in volume again. The entire studio except for SCP-5123-1 falls silent when Carter's left eye appears to ripple. His smile vanishes.
+
Carter: Larry.
+
SCP-5123-1: I fucking told you, my name's Jason. Now bring me back home or I swear-
+
Carter's left eye ripples again. Seeing this, SCP-5123-1 falls to his knees.
+
SCP-5123-1: No no no no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. My name's Larry Mackenzie, just like you said. I'm a reporter at the New York Times my wife's name is Reba and I have two children and I'm so sorry-
+
Carter rises from his desk, clapping his hands.
+
Carter: Well folks, my producer's giving me the sign it's time for our first commercial break. We'll return to our wonderful guest right after these messages.
+
Carter's eye ripples again. SCP-5123-1 screams.
+
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
+
The camera is panning over the studio as Carter returns to the stage. Several members of the audience and band are wiping their eyes.
+
Carter: Welcome back to Late Nights with Joe Carter, everyone. Now before the break, we were discussing my good friend Larry Mackenzie's new book, A Look Behind The Paper.
+
The camera cuts to SCP-5123-1, who is now a mid-twenties caucasian woman. Large sweat stains are visible under her arms.
+
SCP-5123-1: G-g-glad to be here, Joe.
+
Carter smiles. A dark discolouration can be seen on his sleeve.
+
Carter: Perfect. Now, I believe you were about to tell us about what made you decide to hang up your hat, right?
Special Containment Procedures: The area surrounding SCP-5405 is to be monitored at all times for signs of anomalous flora or fauna. The perimiter of SCP-5405 should be surrounded by a six meter high wall. Area 12-5405 is positioned on the north end of the barrier, to provide an entry point to SCP-5405 and also to serve as a base for personnel.
+
If any unidentified lifeforms are detected, security stationed at Area 12-5405 are to be dispatched to check for possible anomalous threats. Should a confirmed breach have occured, MTF Umbra-6 "Harsh Critics" are to be deployed to the area immediately to search for signs of breached flora or fauna.
+
Any personnel entering SCP-5405 should wear protective equipment suited to a toxic environment. Should any spread of SCP-5405 be detected, a squad of MTF Umbra-6 should be deployed to the area, equipped with a Scranton Reality Anchor, and necessary equipment to remove a section of SCP-5405. Should the breach be flora, flame-based suppression is effective. If anomalous fauna breaches, standard anti-personnel weaponry should be used. Any personnel returning from SCP-5405 should receive a full decontamination, and their protective equipment should be checked for breaks and tears.
+
SCP-5405-1 should be kept within a sealed containment chamber, and all contact is to be made only with protective gear suited to dealing with a class-3 infectious object.
+
Description: SCP-5405 is a 50 square kilometer area of northern Canada. Subjects who enter SCP-5405 often find that once within the radius of its effect, the zone grows considerably, suggesting a non-euclidean space. An entirely different ecosystem has developed inside SCP-5405, often conflicting with logic or nature in impossible ways.
+
The sky inside of SCP-5405 follows the same day cycle as Earth, albeit with no visible source of light. The light within SCP-5405 is considerably brighter than natural sunlight during the day, with transitions to night within a very short period. At night, the only source of light is bioluminescent flora, which reveals a blue fog that fills SCP-5405.
+
The weather system within SCP-5405 is chaotic and random, often changing from high pressure fronts to low pressure within seconds. Rain and wind occur seemingly at random. Winds are often strong, and the weather can go from still to around 60km/h winds in seconds. Any rain that occurs within SCP-5405 occurs with no visible source, as no clouds have been observed in the sky of SCP-5405.
+
The geography of SCP-5405 is unsuited to plant life, with few sedimentary layers. Analysis of the area shows that there is a thin layer of soil above bedrock. This prevents detailed root structures required for standard flora inhabiting SCP-5405 from forming, thus resulting in many fallen trees or plants due to the strong winds. However, whenever personnel find an example of a fallen tree or plant, the affected flora always disappears within 24 hours, even when observed. Soon after such an event, personnel often find fully grown trees that should have taken years to grow fully formed within a single day. In this way, the population of flora within SCP-5405 seems to never change dramatically. This majorly affects personnel's ability to map SCP-5405, as the layout of flora, and even of landmass, is always shifting.
+
The inside of SCP-5405 is populated by many species of anomalous flora and fauna, varying considerably in type. Many species within are seemingly unsuited to their environment, and in a non-anomalous situation would quickly become extinct. Many fauna expire within SCP-54051, but through unknown anomalous means, the population never seems to decrease.
+
Some examples of flora documented within SCP-5405 include:
+
+
+
+
A species of tree that seemingly grows roots upwards as well as downwards, wrapping the trunk in odd extrusions.2
+
Threat Level: Low to none
+
+
+
+
+
A species of small fungi that reacts negatively to water, seemingly relying on a dry environment to survive. The fungi seems to have difficulty remaining healthy due to the non-arid environment of SCP-5405.
+
Threat Level: Low to none
+
+
+
+
+
A type of shrub that has razor-edged leaves, able to slice through most material.3
+
Threat Level: Moderate
+
+
+
+
+
A type of shrub that grows stems from the ends of its leaves, creating long, fragile branches in many directions. This often results in many snapped branches, which leak a clear green liquid.
+
Threat Level: Low to none
+
+
+
+
+
A grass that becomes bioluminescent upon nightfall. Tests have revealed that it requires nightfall, not darkness, suggesting a natural way for the flora to record time.
+
Threat Level: Low to none
+
+
+
+
Some examples of fauna documented within SCP-5405 include:
+
+
+
+
A carnivorous bipedal species, seemingly adapted to ambush hunting. It stands at approximately 7 feet tall, and has no other limbs apart from its legs, which end in footless stumps. Tests have confirmed it to be vaguely canine in nature. Strangely for a carnivore, it seems to have difficulty walking and often fails to catch food or cause any serious damage. The species seems to frequently injure itself when it falls, and has difficulty righting itself. Subjects are often found extremely malnourished due to failure to catch prey.
+
Threat Level: Moderate
+
+
+
+
+
A quadrupedal omnivore, avian in nature. Oddly enough for an avian species, it has no sign of wings or vestiges of wings. No feathers have been noticed on the creature, instead it has lumpy, soft skin similar to that of birds. It has a single camel-like hump in the centre of its back, which seems to be without purpose. No aggression has been noticed, suggesting it is supposed to be a scavenger. What it scavenges is unknown due to the high decomposition rate within SCP-5405.
+
Threat Level: Low
+
+
+
+
+
A small round species with no visible limbs, features, or orifices. Its diet is unknown, and it is covered in scales similar to those of a snake or reptile. The creature's only source of movement is its ability to roll at high speeds. With no visible way of breeding or eating, it is unknown how these creatures survive, but they seem to live in complex underground burrows.
+
Subjects taken into captivity die in a matter of hours, and subterranean scans have revealed huge piles of decomposing corpses within these burrows, suggesting that the species has a very short lifespan.
+
Threat Level: Low to none
+
+
+
+
+
A large mammalian species, unknown diet. Octopedic in nature, the creature has legs over nine meters long. Due to a fragile bone structure, it seems to often break its bones, although they heal in a matter of seconds, resulting in twisted, unique structures to their bodies. These strange formations often cause extreme pain and discomfort for subjects, and they are often noted to lack motivation to move or flee from predators. No mouth or other orifice is visible through which food could be consumed, although the tips of its legs seem to absorb nutrients from soil in a manner similar to plant roots.
+
Threat Level: Low
+
+
+
+
+
A bipedal species, diet unknown. Its only limbs are its two legs, there is no sign of any other growths or extrusions. Tests have revealed it is incredibly light, weighing only 830 grams. Upon sighting another lifeform, it will unfurl several flaps of skin from its body, creating large surface areas which provide lift upon movement. Due to its light weight, it is at the mercy of winds and weather, often resulting in injury due to impact against trees or rocks. Oddly for a living species, it has no way of naturally healing itself. Several subjects have been taken into custody for further testing.
+
Threat Level: Low
+
+
+
+
+
A bacterial species, found in extremely high numbers within SCP-5405. Tests show that the bacteria consumes dead material at a vastly accelerated rate compared to that of regular bacteria. This results in corpses or bodies decomposing in as short a time as several hours. The bacteria is also responsible for manifesting a slight toxin, that seems to affect fauna only, resulting in open sores that bleed profusely.
+
Threat Level: High
+
+
+
+
No sentient creatures exist inside of SCP-5405. Only one sentient creature has been discovered inside of SCP-5405. To date there have been no other examples of sentient life, and no sign that the subject, designated SCP-5405-1, is part of a larger species or group.
+
SCP-5405-1 is a humanoid entity, approximately 6ft tall. The creature has approximately human proportions, with a few exceptions. The subject's bone structure appears to lack cartilage or joint cushioning. This results in jolting and painful movement, although SCP-5405-1 appears to be accustomed to this. SCP-5405-1 has a single finger in place of multiple, greatly thicker than a normal human finger, resulting in a primitive claw-like hand. SCP-5405-1's facial features are very similar to that of a human, with only a few differences. SCP-5405-1 has no sign of a nose or other olfactory organ, and its ears are set several inches further back on its head. This seems to serve little purpose, and only weakens its frontal hearing. SCP-5405-1 also shows signs of advanced infection from the aforementioned anomalous bacteria.
+
Communication with SCP-5405-1 has been established through spoken language. The subject seems to have a spoken language very similar to English, although very simplified and poorly structured. SCP-5405-1 shows knowledge of complex concepts such as leadership, hunting, and writing, even though it has had no exposure to such ideas.
Interviewer:Sighs. Good evening SCP-5405-1. How are you?
+
+SCP-5405-1: Cold. Bright. Scared.
+
Interviewer: That's nice. We'd like to ask you a few questions, so let's get this over with before it gets too late. How would you describe your time within SCP-5405?
+
SCP-5405-1: Want stick. Draw stick and bark.
+
SCP-5405-1 is provided with a pencil and paper.
+
Interviewer: Alright, let's try again. How would you describe your time within SCP-5405?
+
SCP-5405-1: Scared. Fight. Run. Many hunt. Angry.
+
Interviewer: You hunted, or were hunted?
+
SCP-5405-1: Hunted by things. Big things. Many things. Scared. Angry.
+
Interviewer: Did you ever find any creatures that didn't attack you?
+
SCP-5405-1: Yes. Small. Big. Legs.
+
Interviewer: Did you hunt those creatures?
+
SCP-5405-1: No. No hunt.
+
Interviewer: What did you eat?
+
SCP-5405-1 shows visible confusion.
+
SCP-5405-1: No eat. No hunt.
+
Interviewer: You didn't eat? How did you survive?
+
SCP-5405-1: Not eaten.
+
Interviewer: What about food for you? Where did you find food?
+
SCP-5405-1: No need food. Food for hunters.
+
Interviewer: [To personnel away from mic] Can someone get me some damn coffee? Might as well be comfortable. [To SCP-5405-1] Can you clarify? Why didn't you need food?
+
SCP-5405-1: King give food. King give bad food.
+
Interviewer: King? What do you mean?
+
SCP-5405-1: King. Big king. King not like me. King strong. SCP-5405-1 uses the pencil to draw a crude circle, with a man standing below it. SCP-5405-1 gestures to the circle. King. King strong but stupid. Angry at king.
+
Interviewer: I don't understand. Was this king with you there?
+
SCP-5405-1: Yes. No. No understand. King always there and never there.
+
Interviewer: Was he… imaginary?
+
SCP-5405-1 becomes visibly frustrated, banging its hands on the ground.
+
SCP-5405-1: No! No imaginary! Real! No there but real! If no real, no here!
+
Interviewer: Okay, okay, calm down. What did this king do?
+
SCP-5405-1: Make. King make things. King make trees and animals. King bad at make. King stupid. King things hurt. When animals hurt King make more. When plants hurt King make more. King make hunters. King make plants. King make everything. SCP-5405-1 pauses for a moment. King make me.
+
Interviewer: I see. Was there anything the king didn't make?
+
SCP-5405-1: You. This. SCP-5405-1 taps the ground, then the paper and pencil. This place. King make and make but can't make right. King things break. So he make more but more things bad too. SCP-5405-1 seems frustrated.
+
Interviewer: Why does king- sorry. Why does this king make things?
+
SCP-5405-1: King want this. This. SCP-5405-1 gestures to the room. King want make this. King want make you and other things. King can't. So King try make new things. New things no work. King try again. Things no work again. King no understand these things. Once again, SCP-5405-1 taps the pencil and paper, then points at the interviewer. King make more, make me. I angry at king. King-
+
Interviewer: [Interrupts] Let me rephrase; what does the king want?
+
SCP-5405-1: King want be like other kings. King want make things. But king stupid, king bad at making.
+
Interviewer: Okay, that's all we need for today. We'll see you again with some more questions, SCP-5405-1.
+
SCP-5405-1:SCP-5405-1 becomes agitated. No go! No go! King take! Me no go back!
+
SCP-5405-1 lunges at the glass, and is subdued. Noted was a sudden increase of activity from the various sores across SCP-5405-1's body.
+
+
Note: I want a transfer. I have a goddamn Ph.D, I shouldn't be babysitting some creature with the brain of a toddler.
+- Dr. Malloc
+
+
+
+
Following this, security was doubled on SCP-5405-1's cell. Despite this, by the following day, SCP-5405-1 was reported missing. Full searches of the site revealed no sign of forced exit, and no sign of SCP-5405-1. Should SCP-5405-1 be detected in SCP-5405, it is to be detained again and questioned.
Filename: TreeForest2.png
+Name: The roots wrap around the tree, weird atmosphere… Les racines entourent et étouffent le pauvre arbre, bizarre
+Author: Richard Mc Neil
+License: CC BY 3.0
+Source Link:Wikimedia Commons
Special Containment Procedures: The area surrounding SCP-5475 is to be monitored by a minimum of two armed guards at all times. Any civilian attempting to access SCP-5475 is to be detained, interrogated and amnesticized following standard protocol for anomalous locations.
+
Tests conducted on SCP-5475 must be expressly authorized by the O5 Council. All subjects who enter SCP-5475 must wear an activated recording device at all times. Upon exiting SCP-5475, these recordings are to be analyzed, and subjects are to be amnesticized or terminated as deemed necessary.
+
By Agreement 5475/1-G, PoI-5475 will be allowed to live indefinitely in the house in the vicinity of SCP-5475, henceforth designated as Provisional Site 5475-01, in exchange for her cooperation.
+
Description: SCP-5475 is a cave located at the foot of a mountain in an undisclosed location in southern Ireland. SCP-5475 is about 1.5 kilometers deep, and has a height of approximately 3 meters. The width of SCP-5475 varies greatly along the route, so an average measurement could not be established.
+
The main anomaly of SCP-5475 consists of the generation of multiple vocalizations coming from an unidentified location inside the cave. These vocalizations will be focused on the first human to enter SCP-5475, and will consist of a male voice describing in detail all the "secrets" that are being kept from the subject. At the time of writing, secrets exposed by SCP-5475 have ranged from miscellaneous events from the subject's childhood and/or adolescence, to highly classified information regarding the internal structure of the Foundation.
+
The secondary anomaly of SCP-5475 consists of a grave located at the end of the cave, hereafter designated SCP-5475-A, which shows no signs of natural deterioration, and all damage inflicted on it will be regenerated once all subjects have exited SCP-5475. The tombstone of this grave is transcribed below.
+
+
+
Darren
+
+I still love you,
+and I will never forget you.
+
+
+
Discovery: SCP-5475 was discovered on 15/01/2021, after Ms. Aisling Sullivan, now designated PoI-5475, attempted to commit suicide by jumping into one of the rivers near the locality. Fortunately, a police officer spotted her and was able to rescue her. In her statement, PoI-5475 described the relevant anomaly, which alerted an undercover agent from the Foundation and subsequently led to the classification of SCP-5475.
+
Shortly after these events, Dr. Kathleen Silverlock was assigned to interview PoI-5475 regarding the anomaly. A transcription of this interview can be found below.
+
+
Interviewed: PoI-5475
+
Interviewer: Dr. Kathleen Silverlock
+
Foreword: This interview took place 1 week after the discovery of SCP-5475, and was conducted at the residence of PoI-5475. This log was translated from Irish.
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
(Dr. Silverlock is sitting in PoI-5475's couch. The latter enters the room with two cups of coffee, and offers one to Dr. Silverlock before taking a seat.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: Thank you for allowing us to interview you, Mrs. Sullivan, it's of great help to us.
+
PoI-5475: Oh, don't worry, I think it will do me some good… to talk about it too. And please call me Aisling.
+
Dr. Silverlock: Of course, Aisling. (Dr. Silverlock smiles.) Well, we'd better start with the questions. Let's see… (Dr. Silverlock looks through her papers.) When was the first time you knew about the voices in the cave?
+
PoI-5475: Well… It's quite a long story. I think I should start at the beginning, even if it sounds a bit redundant. I hope I won't bore you (PoI-5475 chuckles.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: Oh, don't worry, I think I have enough time. (Dr. Silverlock takes a sip from her coffee.) Well, you can start whenever you want.
+
PoI-5475: Yeah, well, I… (PoI-5475 sighs.) It could be said that it all started when I was sixteen, you know, that time when we all did whatever we wanted and the world seemed infinite…. (PoI-5475 remains silent for a few moments.) I… met a guy. Yeah, I know it was like ten years ago, but I still… I get a little nervous when I remember it. (PoI-5475 chuckles.)
+
(Dr. Silverlock smiles.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: Don't worry, I understand you.
+
PoI-5475: Well… I met this guy, his name was Darren, although I think you should have guessed that by now. (PoI-5475 smiles and takes a sip of coffee.)
+
Dra. Silverlock: I figured.
+
PoI-5475: Heh, yeah, he was one of the best looking guys in my class. All the girls wanted him for themselves and all that high school drama crap. (PoI-5475 takes another sip of coffee.) But… he and I… we had many things in common. Our musical tastes, the movies we watched, our ideologies… We had some friends in common, so we started spending time together and… I guess things just fell into place. (PoI-5475 chuckles.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: I understand. You fell in love with him, didn't you?
+
PoI-5475: Yeah… and he also fell in love with me. I still remember that day, when he told me. We had gone to an ice skating rink near the school. Jesus, when I remember it… (PoI-5475 pauses briefly.) By the time we left it was already dark, and we started to walk around for a while… (PoI-5475 shakes her head.) I'm sorry, I don't mean to go on so long, but I tend to get too deep into detail, and when I remember Darren….
+
Dr. Silverlock: It's okay, don't worry, I understand what you must be going through. Please continue.
+
PoI-5475: Right. (PoI-5475 sighs.) We started dating. He was passionate about photography, so for most of our dates we used to go to places that looked like something out of a painting. Some forests, flower plains… those kinds of places. Well, so… (PoI-5475 abrubtly stops. Dr. Silverlock looks concerned.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: Is there… anything you're having trouble saying?
+
PoI-5475: Y-yes… It's just… (PoI-5475 looks nervous. She takes another sip of coffee; her hands are visibly shaking.) Once we decided to go to a forest nearby. The trip was a bit expensive, but Darren was very excited. He spent the whole trip talking about the pictures he was going to take… and the ones we would take together- (PoI-5475 stops; looks as if she is about to cry.)
+
(Dr. Silverlock leans towards PoI-5475 and starts talking in a reassuring voice.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: Don't worry, you can tell me what happened.
+
PoI-5475: We… wandered away from the route we had planned and… found the cave. At first I was a little scared that a bear or something lived there, but Darren insisted on going in. He looked so excited… so we went in and… (PdI-5475 looks disstressed.) And…
+
Dr. Silverlock: If I may ask, approximately how long did it take from the time you entered until you heard the voice?
+
PoI-5475: Yeah, sure, I… I think it was ten minutes or so. Darren got to take several pictures before… first we heard it coming from inside the cave. It was like a constant whisper around us. First it said to us "Your dog didn't run away, your dad ran him over." I was scared, but Darren looked more confused than scared. And then… then we heard the voice again, although this time it was closer to Darren. It told us "Your best friend is making fun of you behind your back," and then… then….
+
Dr. Silverlock: Yeah?
+
(PoI-5475 lowers her head.)
+
PoI-5475: Then the voice told him that I was secretly in another relationship.
+
Dr. Silverlock: …
+
PoI-5475: I… we had a fight and broke up. A few months later I found out he had committed suicide and in his letter he blamed me among other people. I knew he was sensitive, but I never thought…
+
Dr. Silverlock: How was it that they decided to bury him in the cave?
+
PoI-5475: He was not buried there. His relatives took him to a cemetery near their home. I found the grave when I wanted to see where those voices had come from. I know they would never want me living near his real grave, so I gathered some money and came to live here.
+
Dr. Silverlock: I see…
+
PoI-5475: I- (PoI-5475 is crying at this point.) It wasn't my intention, I was about to break up with my other boyfriend, but things got complicated and…. the only thing I want is to have him close to me, I want… I want him to know that I'm sorry, that I still love him, and that I need him to forgive me. (PoI-5475 covers her eyes with her hands and starts trembling.)
+
(Dr. Silverlock sits in silence for a few moments before trying to continue with the interview.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: So… About how long did it take after you found the grave before you realized about its anomalous properties?
+
(PoI-5475 looks at Dr. Silverlock. Her eyes are still covered in tears.)
+
PoI-5475: Its "anomalous properties"? What do you mean?
+
Dr. Silverlock: The grave's anomalous properties, of course. You are aware that the tombstone cannot be destroyed, right?
+
PoI-5475: What…? I didn't… I didn't know that. You mean…?
+
Dr. Silverlock: Our teams have examined the grave, and any damage done to it is repaired once they leave the cave.
+
PoI-5475: … No, I didn't know that.
+
Dr. Silverlock: Oh, it's okay.
+
(Dr. Silverlock looks through her papers one more time and starts mumbling to herself. PoI-5475 looks at Dr. Silverlock and then at her cup of coffee; she sighs before talking again.)
+
PoI-5475: I think I know why that happens.
+
Dr. Silverlock: Sorry?
+
PoI-5475: I think I know why the grave can't be damaged. It's a… little theory I started making a few months ago. I started to wonder why the voice does what it does and I… I drew my conclusions.
+
Dr. Silverlock: Well, go ahead.
+
PoI-5475: The voice… I don't think it enjoys revealing secrets. What's more, I don't think he enjoys doing what he does.
+
Dr. Silverlock: What do you mean exactly?
+
PoI-5475: Think about it, a secret is capable of… destroying everything. A secret can break families, end friendships, provoke murders, cause wars…
+
Dr. Silverlock: Please be a little more specific.
+
PoI-5475: What I'm getting at is that… I think the voice doesn't like us keeping secrets. And I think it reproaches us by telling us everything that they keep hidden from us.
+
Dr. Silverlock: …
+
PoI-5475: And… the cave, or whatever it's inside… it looks after Darren's grave because it wants us to remember him, to remember that….
+
Dr. Silverlock: It wants us to remember the consequences of keeping secrets.
+
PoI-5475: Yes.
+
(Both Dr. Silverlock and PoI-5475 remain in silence for aproximatly 30 seconds.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: That… is an interesting theory. A very interesting theory. So, ahmm, is there anything else you would like to tell us, Aisling?
+
PoI-5475: No, I don't think so. But… I've seen that you guys are very interested in the cave and from afar it looks like you're a secret organization and all that stuff. (PoI-5475 chuckles.) … You're from the government, aren't you?
+
(Dr. Silverlock hesitates before answering.)
+
Dr. Silverlock: Yes, we are from the government.
+
PoI-5475: Yeah, it's just that… Would you allow me to continue living here? I - I don't want to have to go somewhere else. I want to stay by his side, you know what I mean? I want to… remember him forever.
+
Dr. Silverlock: … I'll see what I can do, Aisling.
+
PoI-5475: … Thank you.
+
<END LOG>
+
Closing Statement: Following this interview, the Ethics Committee stated that keeping PoI-5475 near SCP-5475 could be helpful in maintaining a reliable cover story between the locals, thus establishing Agreement 5475/1-G, and allowing her to remain living at Provisional Site 5475-01 in exchange for her cooperation.
Special Containment Procedures:SCP-555 is to be placed in a standard containment locker. Corpses are not to be brought within eighteen meters of SCP-555 or the room in which it is contained. SCP-555's containment procedures were revised after Incident 555-1.
+
SCP-555 is to be housed in a 5x5x3 meter concrete containment chamber. Inside the walls, an electromagnet array with a combined internal field strength of three teslas or greater is installed. In an interstitial chamber, a set of the most powerful permanent magnet arrays available is to be held away from the electromagnet array, and moved into place by automatic systems in the event of power failure. The chamber is to be separated from the rest of the facility by an exclusion zone of at least twenty meters, due to dangers posed by high magnetic fields and by the SCP itself. No corpses are ever to be brought into the exclusion zone. A HEPA air filtering system is to be installed to avoid fouling of the SCP. SCP-555 is never to be stored in the same site as SCP-447.
+
Description: SCP-555 is a metal cylinder with rounded ends, 1.25 centimeters in diameter and 8 centimeters long, similar to a magnet commonly fed to cattle to prevent hardware disease. It emits a field of unknown nature which exerts an attractive force on dead or necrotic human tissue, including hair separated from the body, corpses, shed skin cells, and — in extreme cases — the epidermal layer of the skin. This field does not tend to follow the inverse-square law and does not interact with matter or electromagnetic fields in a manner consistent with any known force. The SCP itself appears to be impervious to force, showing no response to focused heating, compression, or striking.
+
The attractive force exerted by the field increases linearly with the amount of dead material in close proximity to the SCP. Past a certain point (measured at approximately 295 kilograms of necrotic material within two meters of the SCP), the progression becomes exponential, and the field's strength and radius increase rapidly.
+
The field also appears to have an effect on permanent magnets; the field strength of magnets in proximity to SCP-555 decreases over time, with the rate of decrease changing in proportion to SCP-555's field strength.
+
SCP-555 was recovered by agents in 19██ in a cemetery in ████████, California. The Foundation was alerted to a possible SCP after a coffin due to be buried was pulled from the pallbearers' grip and came to rest above the grave of a ███████ ███████, who died in 1948.
+
███████ ███████'s body was turned over to Foundation forensic specialists, who noted that the torso appeared to have been smashed inward, though with no skin damage. The SCP was found inside the corpse's stomach. The corpse was found to have no other anomalous properties and was reinterred.
+
A ground-penetrating radar survey of the cemetery showed that all coffins in a twelve-meter radius had been displaced underground towards the site containing the SCP.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5769 is to be kept in a containment cell furnished with a bed, a lamp, and a desk at Site-66. SCP-5769 is allowed requested items within reason. Allowed items include a human bed and any piece of non-anomalous literature which is requested by the subject (currently a copy of Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace), as well as several dog toys to ensure adequate mental and physical stimulation.
+
Any Foundation personnel with Level 2 security clearance or above is permitted to play with SCP-5769 in order to promote morale, both in staff and the anomaly. SCP-5769 is allowed one hour of outside time accompanied by two lightly armed guards once every two days. These guards are permitted to use non-lethal force in the event of any attempted escape.
+
Description: SCP-5769 is a domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris) of the Golden Retriever breed which is capable of vocal communications in several languages. SCP-5769 appears to vocally communicate in the same manner as humans, with the subject's larynx being the source of the anomalous vocalizations. SCP-5769 displays similar behaviors to those of a typical Golden Retriever, including a desire for a somewhat active lifestyle, similar eating habits, and an affinity for red meat, although the subject also displays the desire to interface with art, similarly to humans, and requires increased mental stimulation which must be satiated through reading or conversation.
+
SCP-5769 claims to know everything, both in the past and in the present. When asked a question, SCP-5769 will respond with the answer it believes to be correct, almost never deliberately lying or otherwise obfuscating the truth. SCP-5769 will almost invariably respond to any question it is asked. The areas of the subject's knowledge seem to extend to global, academic, and semantic matters, with the object having to learn matters of personal concern through conversation or other communication. For instance, SCP-5769 has been shown to have a comprehensive knowledge of events throughout all known and documented human history but still has to be introduced to an individual in order to learn their name or interface with them in order to learn their thoughts or feelings.
+
SCP-5769 has shown a strong desire to return to its previous owner, Samuel Lane, and has attempted to escape Foundation custody on multiple occasions in order to return to Lane.
+
Recovery: SCP-5769 was discovered in the house of Samuel Lane in Seattle, Washington, after neighbors reported repeated shouting to the local police on July 8, 2004. Upon entry, police found the residence empty aside from SCP-5769, which shortly introduced itself as Winston Lane. After SCP-5769 was taken to the nearest police station, an MTF unit embedded in local law enforcement reported the anomaly, and the Foundation retrieved SCP-5769, administering Class-A amnestics to all neighbors and officers who learned of the anomaly's existence. Samuel Lane was later located in a rural town in Nevada. He claims to have done this to distance himself from the anomaly, in hopes to completely avoid SCP-5769 itself, as well as any other anomalous effects related to the object. Upon initial recovery, the Foundation made the decision to interview SCP-5769 in order to gain more information on the subject's origin as well as its self purported knowledge.
+
Addendum 5769-1: First Interview
+
Purpose: A preliminary interview in order to familiarize SCP-5769 with an interview setting.
+Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141 due to the subject's initial unwillingness to interface with Foundation staff due to the manner of its containment.
+
+
Start of interview: July 18, 2004, 2:14 PM
+
D-29141: So, uh, what do I say?
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Once you enter the room, just ask the subject the questions on this sheet of paper. Don't overthink it too much. I can assure you this is all very routine. I'll communicate any pertinent information over the room's microphone system from here.
+
D-29141: Alright, I'll take your word on it, I guess.
+
D-29141 enters the containment cell.
+
D-29141: A dog? Weird-ass place. Uh, what is your name?
+
SCP-5769: Hi! My name is Winston! What's yours?
+
D-29141: What the fuck? I don't know what I expected. Fuckin' dog, bullshit routine.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Please continue with the interview.
+
D-29141: Okay, fine, I guess. Whatever gets me out of here. My name is Evan; thanks for asking. So, um, what’s two plus two?
+
SCP-5769: That’s easy! It’s four! Next one, next one!
+
D-29141: Alright, dog does math. Uh, what else do you know?
+
SCP-5769: I know everything.
+
D-29141: Could you elaborate on that?
+
SCP-5769: Sure! It means I know everything.
+
D-29141: That's- alright, whatever. Are you okay with your containment?
+
SCP-5769: I guess. It’s cozy here, and these people are nice to me. They even let me sleep on the real bed. I get to run around in this room, and they let me go outside. But I really just want to go back to Sam. I love him, and I know he loves me, too. I know he still loves me.
+
D-29141: I think I know how you feel. I haven't been able to see my family since these guys scooped me up either.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: I would highly advise you to stick to the provided interview questions.
+
D-29141: Right, right. How did you gain your intelligence?
+
SCP-5769 stops wagging its tail and appears to cast its eyes toward the floor.
+
SCP-5769: Go away now. I thought you were like me, but I don’t want to talk to you anymore.
+
D-29141: Hey, I-
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Thank you, D-29141. That will be all. You can leave the cell.
+
End of interview: July 18, 2004, 2:17 PM
+
+
Addendum 5769-2: Second Interview
+
Purpose: An interview to build trust between the subject and D-29141 in order to discover SCP-5769's origins during the location process of Samuel Lane.
+Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.
+
+
Start of interview: July 19, 2004, 10:31 AM
+
D-29141: So, you wanted me back here?
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Yes, we figured you didn’t have much else to do. It's the same deal as yesterday. Get to work.
+
D-29141: Alright, fine. I guess it could be worse. Hello, how are you today?
+
SCP-5769 faces away from D-29141 and lies down, saying nothing.
+
D-29141: Hey, what's the problem, man? I thought we were getting along pretty well.
+
SCP-5769: To be perfectly frank, I can't say I feel the same. I thought we were just going to have a nice conversation.
+
D-29141: Look, man, I'm sorry if I made you upset, but it's not really my fault. That doctor guy wrote these questions, not me.
+
SCP-5769 appears to weigh its options for about ten seconds, then stands and turns to D-29141.
+
SCP-5769: This isn't just an issue of trust. While I don't exactly trust you right now, there are… other, bigger issues. I'm pretty trusting. I mean, look at me. I'm a dog; we trust basically everyone. I lost my only friend pretty recently. It's not something I want to talk about yet, alright? Give me some time, and maybe I can talk about it.
+
D-29141: How about we talk about other stuff for a while? Does that work for you? Doc?
+
Dr. Gonsalves: That’s fine. It’s the only deal we can take right now. Now, get to the questions.
+
D-29141: Great. Now, how are you today?
+
SCP-5769: Well, I’ve been better. As I’m sure you can tell, I’m trapped in a big metal box. It’s comfy, but I miss being at a house. It wasn’t as luxurious, since I didn’t get the good bed or new dog toys when I asked, but that wasn’t what mattered to me. Home is where the heart is, and my owner was my heart.
+
D-29141: Was?
+
SCP-5769: It’s fine; our relationship is just a little… complicated.
+
D-29141: I’ve been there. Um, do you want to escape at all?
+
SCP-5769: That’s about the only thing I want to do.
+
D-29141 and SCP-5769 were allowed to communicate in a freeform fashion as a trust building exercise for roughly 15 minutes before Dr. Gonsalves ordered the continuation of the interview proper.
+
D-29141: Okay, um. Huh. I don’t really get this next question.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Just try to the best of your ability.
+
D-29141: Uh, what is your stance on the containment of anomalies by the SCP Foundation?
+
SCP-5769: I guess it depends on the anomaly. I think that if they can destroy it, they should. They have too many dangerous things just sitting in cells. I mean, what are you going to do when a bunch of Keter-class objects break out because you wanted to do research instead of just getting rid of them?
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Okay, the rest of the interview is canceled. SCP-5769 should not have this much knowledge on the Foundation. D-29141, exit the cell immediately.
+
D-29141: God damn it. Am I ever gonna get all the way through one of these before you cut me off for some bullshit reason I don't even understand? Whatever, see ya later, man.
+
SCP-5769: Goodbye, Evan! See you soon!
+
End of interview: July 19, 2004, 10:55 AM
+
+
SCP-5769's knowledge on the inner workings of the Foundation is currently being looked into and assessed as a potential threat.
+
Addendum 5769-3: Third Interview
+
Purpose: A general wellness check for SCP-5769.
+Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.
+
+
Start of interview, July 21, 2004, 8:18 PM
+
D-29141: Hey. I’m back.
+
SCP-5769: Oh, hi, Evan! I have missed you so much!
+
D-29141: I’ve missed you, too, bud. I’ve got a new batch of questions. Are you ready?
+
SCP-5769: As ready as I’ll ever be.
+
D-29141: Good. Hm, uh… Est-ce que vous parlez français?1
+
SCP-5769: Oui. Et ce n’est pas le seul français. Je parle espagnol, russe, chinois, italien, japonais, hébreu, coréen, arabe et toutes les autres langues auxquelles vous pouvez penser.2
+
D-29141: Uh…
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Just keep going.
+
D-29141: How old are you?
+
SCP-5769: I am currently five years old.
+
D-29141: How much do you weigh? Uh, specifically, in metric.
+
SCP-5769: 31 kilograms.
+
D-29141: It looks like this is the last one. Do you have any anomalous properties that the Foundation does not know about?
+
SCP-5769: Well, only one that I can think of. I’m supposed to live as long as a human lives.
+
D-29141: That was a pretty boring interview, but I guess we finally got to finish one. Hey, I've sorta got some of my own questions, if that's alright.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: That is not what I would advise. It is not in your best interest to get too terribly friendly with anomalies.
+
D-29141: Come on, man. It's a dog. A dog with a tragic backstory. You can't tell me you're not interested in that.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: I understand the root of your interest, but I really do have to stress how little we know about this thing. It could be far more dangerous than we know. Besides, you asked all the questions we made for you. It's best for you to leave.
+
SCP-5769: I think he should stay. He's been nice to me, and he's the only one here who's treated me with respect.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: I'm sorry, who's the doctor, and who's the dog?
+
SCP-5769: Who's the one who knows everything?
+
D-29141: Damn, you got him good.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Leave the cell.
+
End of interview: July 21, 2004, 8:25 PM
+
+
SCP-5769’s claim cannot yet be proven, due to the fact that, at the time of writing, SCP-5769 has been alive for a typical amount of time for a Golden Retriever.
+
Addendum 5769-4: Fourth Interview
+
Purpose: A test of SCP-5769's supposed omniscience.
+Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.
+
+
Start of interview, July 22, 2004, 11:56 AM
+
D-29141: Okay, Winston. I have more questions today, but I don't really get them. As usual, I guess.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: It does not matter if you don't understand them. So long as we get an answer, everything is fine. Please continue.
+
SCP-5769: This should be entertaining.
+
D-29141: Alright, uh. Awesome. At what time does the President of the United States of America scratch their nose?
+
SCP-5769: Exactly 7:53 PM, everyday. At least, they should.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Incredible…
+
D-29141: Um, shit, seriously? Is Bigfoot real?
+
SCP-5769: Yes, although there are some reasons you're not supposed to know that.
+
D-29141: Who are Marshall, Carter, and Dark?
+
SCP-5769: They're a group who makes money selling anomalous objects to the super rich.
+
D-29141: Really? I guess if this stuff exists that makes sense. What is the uh… the O5 Council?
+
SCP-5769: [REDACTED]
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Oh my God…
+
D-29141: You plan on telling me what the hell that's supposed to mean?
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Exit the cell. Looks like neither of us are going to be remembering this interview.
+
End of interview: July 22, 2004, 12:10 PM
+
+
After this interview, the log was immediately redacted and Class A amnestics were to D-29141 and Dr. Gonsalves. SCP-5769 has been determined to have knowledge of the SCP Foundation, the anomalies contained by it, and the O5 Council. Cause for concern has been raised about SCP-5769 and its potential to bring awareness to some closely kept Foundation secrets.
+
Addendum 5769-5: Fifth Interview
+
Purpose: A check of SCP-5769's mental health in containment.
+Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.
+
+
Start of interview: July 23, 2004, 12:38 PM
+
D-29141: Are you ready?
+
SCP-5769: I sure am, Evan!
+
D-29141: Perfect. Have you recently tried to escape?
+
SCP-5769: Yeah, I have. I tried to dig as quickly as I could during my last outside time. They tranquilized me, though. Maybe they’re waiting to bring my owner up here.
+
D-29141: Maybe so, man. That'd be kinda sad though. I probably wouldn't be able to see you anymore. What have you been doing with your free time?
+
SCP-5769: I’ve mostly just been reading. Nothing much to do here other than that.
+
D-29141: Do you like the doctors here?
+
SCP-5769: Not one bit. They’re the wardens, and I’m the prisoner.
+
D-29141: Yeah, tell me about it. I don't like 'em too much either. I understand where you're coming from.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Keep in mind I am listening.
+
D-29141: Hey, you wrote the question.
+
SCP-5769: Can I ask you a question, Evan?
+
D-29141: Uh, sure.
+
SCP-5769: How do you feel about the anomalies that the SCP Foundation contains?
+
D-29141: Oh, jeez. Uh, I don't know that much about any of them. I guess I know you, but that's sort of it. They aren't sending me around in too many directions. They had me mop up some goop once, but other than that, I've just been with you. I mean, I like you. You're cool and all, but I've heard some real horror stories. Interviewing a dog is pretty nice compared to what I've heard about some other real dangerous shit. So, I can't speak for everyone, but you're cool. You've actually been a source of light for me here.
+
SCP-5769 begins wagging its tail.
+
SCP-5769: That's nice. Thank you. You can ask your next question now.
+
D-29141: Do you feel ready to discuss the origins of your intelligence?
+
SCP-5769: Give me some time. I think I need to sleep on it. Next time you come in and interview me, ask me. We'll see whether or not I'm ready yet.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: That will be all, D-29141. Please exit the cell.
+
End of interview: July 23, 2004, 12:44 PM
+
+
Addendum 5769-6: Sixth Interview
+
Purpose: An interview to determine the origin's of SCP-5769's intelligence.
+Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.
+
+
Start of interview: July 25, 2004, 3:22 PM
+
D-29141: So this is the big moment, huh? They only gave me one question this time. How did you become so intelligent?
+
SCP-5769: Okay, okay, I'm ready.
+
To tell you this, I’m going to go back to the beginning. I was born on April 14, 1999. I belonged to a breeder who sold purebred dogs. I was originally bought by a rich man who thought of me as a status symbol, but he didn’t really like me or take care of me well. He thought I was too wild. He threw me to the streets, where I stayed for a while.
+
It was tough. Seattle isn’t known for its cheerful weather. I ate trash all day until someone found me. It was Samuel Lane, my owner. He brought me to his house. Once we were inside, he gave me a bath and finally fed me some real food. And I’m not talking about dog food. He gave me real carrots and ground beef. That’s better than what the rich guy fed me.
+
He picked me up, looked me in the eyes, and called me Winston. I knew that that was my name. We played all the time. He walked me when it wasn’t raining. He bought me toys. We watched TV together sometimes. But he never brought anybody else home. He was a lonely man, but I still don’t see why. He’s the nicest person in the entire world.
+
On July 1 of this year, he got sick of being lonely. I was his only friend, and he wanted to be real friends. He brought home this book that was bound in leather. It didn’t look to be in good condition. In fact, it looked ancient. There were no letters or markings on it. It was thick, too. There were a lot of pages. Sam said he was going to change our lives before he got out bags full of different things. I saw chalk, salt, hay, and a big thing of water. There was also a lot of almonds and heather, which are apparently used in witchcraft for wisdom and longevity. He drew a chalk circle around me and covered it with the salt. He sprinkled the hay all over me, and it got in the circle. I don’t think it was supposed to do that. Something in me says so. Of course, I had no clue what was happening at the time, and I just sat there because I thought it was a game.
+
He put the heather and the almonds into the water, which was now in a large glass goblet of some sort. He put a sewing needle to my forehead to get one drop of blood, which he also put into the goblet. Then, he threw a lit match into the mixture, which was extinguished the moment it touched the water. To my surprise, the mixture ignited three seconds later. When the flame stopped, the mixture now looked like one, homogeneous liquid. Sam put it to my mouth, and I drank all of it. He started chanting in a language I’m almost positive does not exist. I remember him saying the names of the knowledge gods Thoth3 and Fukurokuju4.
+
Next thing I knew, I… well, I knew. I could think. I was suddenly smart. I talked to Sam, and he hugged me. I knew we were going to be even better friends now. I kept talking to him, and I noticed he looked a little sad. I wasn't quite sure why. He did the ritual to make us even better friends. We had been having long conversations. I told him all about ancient philosophies and mental health. Looking back on it now, I guess I can see why he was bothered. I was basically analyzing him all the time. I was pointing out signs of depression and anxiety because I wanted him to take better care of himself. I was even trying to educate him on stuff that Plato said about the human condition.
+
When I asked him what was wrong, he said I was too smart. He went out with the book and came back without it. Throughout the next five days, he constantly yelled at me. Called me a freak. Said he didn't need my help being happy. Said I was all wrong. That he corrupted the only thing that loved him. I don’t know why. I still love him. I really do. I want to see him again, so I must, right? And he loves me. I know he does He was just a little mad, that's all. If these guys let me go back now, we’ll be best friends again. Anyway, he left on July 8 with his car. When he didn't come back that night, I started shouting to try and get someone's attention, to make sure he was alright. That’s when the police showed up.
+
D-29141: Holy shit… I’m… I’m so sorry…
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Thank you, D-29141. You may exit the cell.
+
End of interview: July 25, 2004, 3:42 PM
+
+
Addendum 5769-7: Interview with Samuel Lane
+
Purpose: An interview to determine Samuel Lane's knowledge of SCP-5769 before administering amnestics.
+Personnel: Interview conducted by Researcher James.
+
+
Start of interview: July 31, 2004, 5:01 PM
+
Researcher James: Hi, Mr. Lane. I'm here to ask you a few questions about your dog.
+
Samuel Lane: Fine. Go ahead.
+
Researcher James: Is the dog who calls himself “Winston Lane” your dog?
+
Samuel Lane: He certainly was. Before I fuckin' freak-ified the thing.
+
Researcher James: So, does this mean it is true that you performed some sort of ritual to increase the object's intelligence?
+
Samuel Lane: The object? Well, yeah, and I fucked it up. Something about the hay or the almonds, used too much. Got all fucked. Now, he knows everything in the goddamn world.
+
Researcher James: Where is the book you found this ritual in currently?
+
Samuel Lane: Incinerator, hopefully. I tried to destroy it myself, but I wasn't having any luck with that. I hoped my tax dollars could at least get it to a landfill, even if it doesn't end up burning.
+
Researcher James: Where did you find this book?
+
Samuel Lane: Some guy on the street gave it to me. Said I looked lonely. Handed me that book with a bookmark on the page pertaining to my situation.
+
Researcher James: Can you describe this man?
+
Samuel Lane: Yeah, sure. Pale guy, but, like, creepy white, whiter than the whitest guy you've ever seen. Tall, maybe 6 foot 4 or something near there. Couldn’t really see his eyes. Come to think of it, they sorta… I guess they must've been covered by something, but I can't remember. He looked like he might’ve been a drug dealer, but some fancy one. I mean, the guy was wearing a suit and a hat in the alley, out in the rain.
+
Researcher James: I see. Do you feel any affection for your dog?
+
Samuel Lane: What? Jesus, fuck no. That thing was such a cute dog, and then it started trying to talk about the nature of the human condition, telling me I look sad, wanting to watch the fuckin' five o'clock news. Total nuisance.
+
Researcher James: Well, thank you for your time.
+
End of interview: July 31, 2004, 5:10 PM
+
+
Samuel Lane was administered Class-C amnestics after the interview to erase all memories of SCP-5769. Investigations continue into both the identity of the man who gave Samuel Lane the anomalous book and the precise nature of the book itself. Currently, MTF Kappa-21 (“Dog Days of Bummer”) are working to locate the book and its original owner.
+
Addendum 5769-8: Seventh Interview
+
Purpose: An interview to inform SCP-5769 on Samuel Lane.
+Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.
+
+
Start of interview: August 1, 2004, 9:03 PM
+
Dr. Gonsalves: D-29141, this is not going to be a traditional interview. You are going to be telling SCP-5769 about what happened yesterday. Small talk is fine, just don't completely derail this.
+
D-29141: Do I have to do this?
+
Dr. Gonsalves: No. Feel free to just leave the cell. In fact, while you're at it, why don't we get you a day trip to the official Foundation spa? It really is wonderful this time of year, and the catering is just sublime.
+
D-29141: Fuck, fine. No need to be an ass about it.
+
D-29141 turns to face SCP-5769.
+
D-29141: Hey, Winston.
+
SCP-5769: Hello, Evan! You look sad. Why?
+
D-29141: Hey, buddy. Do you promise to still be my friend?
+
SCP-5769: Of course! I have no reason not to. No, wait. You're about to tell me something bad, aren't you?
+
D-29141: They found your owner.
+
SCP-5769 becomes very excited. It wags its tail and runs around for a few seconds while barking before coming back to the front of D-29141.
+
SCP-5769: Oh, you found Sam! This is great! Did he miss me? Is he coming to see me? We can all play together! At his house! Hey, you can help him be less lonely! How much did he say he loved me? To the moon and back? That's what he always used to say. Does he still have my favorite treats? Does he have Milk-Bones at the very least? Did he say I was his best friend? Tell me, tell me, tell me!
+
Dr. Gonsalves: Play the recording.
+
D-29141 reluctantly presses play on a tape recorder.
+
Recording of Researcher James: I see. Do you feel any affection for your dog?
+
Recording of Samuel Lane: What? Jesus, fuck no. That thing was such a cute dog, and then it started trying to talk about the nature of the human condition, telling me I look sad, wanting to watch the fuckin' five o'clock news. Total nuisance.
+
SCP-5769 stops wagging its tail and grows dejected.
+
D-29141: Look, buddy, I'm so, so sorry.
+
SCP-5769: I… I understand. You didn't make any of that happen. I'm just… I didn't want it to end like that. I thought we were best friends. But he hated me. So that's that.
+
SCP-5769 forces a laugh before crying.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: If it's any consolation, Samuel Lane no longer has any memories of you.
+
D-29141: Jesus Christ. Fuck off, man. Have you ever consoled anyone in your life?
+
SCP-5769: No, it's… it's fine. I would rather he not remember me at all than hate me.
+
D-29141: I'm so, so sorry. I wish it went differently. But that guy, you were too good for him. You're a really good friend, buddy, and a really good dog.
+
Dr. Gonsalves: That will be all, D-29141. Exit the cell.
+
D-29141 begins to leave.
+
SCP-5769: Evan, before you leave, can you hug me?
+
D-29141: Of course.
+
D-29141 returns to his previous place and wraps his arms around SCP-5769. SCP-5769 puts its head on D-29141's shoulder and whimpers. This is allowed to last for its entire length of nearly ten minutes before D-29141 leaves.
+
End of interview: August 1, 2004, 9:19 PM
+
+
Addendum 5769-9
+
Although interviews continue with SCP-5769, they are mostly wellness checks, determining mental health and physical fitness. Minor escape attempts continue during SCP-5769’s outside time, but these are not considered a serious threat, as they are all easily prevented.
+
SCP-5769 continues to display dangerous levels of knowledge, including highly classified information about the Foundation, as well as certain useful knowledge on the condition and operations of various groups of interest. When D-29141 ceased conducting interviews, SCP-5769 showed much less enthusiasm and a lack of willingness to cooperate. In order to ensure continued cooperation in the procuration of beneficial knowledge for the Foundation's mission to maintain normalcy, D-29141 has been permitted to be retained indefinitely as the permanent interviewer of SCP-5769, as well as allowing him to be present during all outdoor sessions, which has put an apparent stop to escape attempts.
+
Progress on locating the book and the man who gave it to Samuel Lane has been stagnant, with SCP-5769 either not cognizant of any pertinent information or unwilling to assist in the efforts for its own purposes. Some members of staff have suggested that the man may be "Nobody". However, there is no concrete evidence for this claim aside from the appearance of the man as described by Lane.
+
SCP-5769 has remained adamant about returning to Samuel Lane, despite knowledge of his memory erasure and previous opinion. It has reading and has generally been more lethargic. Due to SCP-5769’s highly advanced intellect, some researchers have suggested that it is planning an escape attempt. All personnel are advised to keep a close watch on SCP-5769, as due to its deep knowledge of the facility, a successful escape attempt could cause a chain reaction, leading to a large-scale containment breach of Site-66.
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation web-crawling team ALPHA/CYAN/JOSEPH are to disseminate instructions regarding the cheesesteak ordering process at Geno's Steaks to internet tourist forums and social media pages. Victims of SCP-5787 are to be located, detained, and provided Class-A amnestics.
+
A nearby surveillance system has been tapped by Foundation operates, this is to be viewed on a daily basis, specifically during peak hours. A designated team has been assigned to surveil on major tourist holidays.
+
Description: SCP-5787 is the phenomenon occurring at Geno's Steaks in Philadelphia, PA. Geno's Steaks follows a semi-strict linguistic guideline when ordering from their store. For example, a customer who wants a cheesesteak with cheese whiz and onions they would order a "whiz wit." A "whiz witout" would be a cheesesteak with cheese whiz and no onions.1
+
SCP-5787 activates once a patron, henceforth SCP-5787-1, incorrectly orders on three separate trips to the store. When this occurs, SCP-5787-1 will instantly dematerialize. Questioning has found that the witnessing cashier will have no recollection of the SCP-5787-1.
+
Within the proceeding 10 to 20 minutes, SCP-5787-1 will appear across the street from Geno's Steaks, unharmed. SCP-5787-1 will then approach the shop and correctly order a cheesesteak. Subsequent investigations have found that SCP-5787-1 instances will always accurately follow the linguistic guideline.
+
Research throughout the city of Philadelphia has confirmed that SCP-5787 is restricted to Geno's Steaks.
+
Addendum 5787.1: Preliminary Interview
+
+
+
INTERVIEW LOG
+
+
+
Foreword: Heightened surveillance procedures were enacted over the course of the month; plainclothes Foundation operatives were stationed outside of Geno's Steaks and Cover Story Beta-7 ("Documentary") was prepared for action. On 7/4/2017, surveillance witnessed Quentin Rodriguez dematerialize outside of Geno's Steaks. Upon reappearing, he was approached by Agent Franklin.
+
+
Franklin: Thanks for agreeing to speak with us, Mr. Rodriguez. It's important that we get a feel for how the locals respond to these iconic locations.
+
Rodriguez: Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm not from around here, man, but it's great and all. Just great. I'd be… I'd be eating here every day if I could. (Laughs)
+
Franklin: Is that so? This the first time you've had a Philly cheesesteak?
+
Rodriguez: No-no-no. I come to Philly every few weeks for work. Gotta love the cheesesteak — Geno's too. Haha…
+
(Rodriguez clutches his head repeatedly)
+
Franklin: Is everything alright, sir?
+
Rodriguez: Just a bit of a headache… after, uh. Oh god. (Burps). I'll be back.
+
(Rodriguez hurriedly jogs away from the crew, returning three minutes later. A small smattering of what appears to be vomit can be seen on the bottom of his shirt.)
+
Franklin: Mr. Rodriguez?
+
Rodriguez: Look, man, I don't know if I can do this, I've been… a little sick. Geno's. Great place. Love it. Gotta love a great place like Geno's.
+
Franklin: Not a problem! One last question. As a visitor, how did you feel about the linguistic side of your order? That whole 'wit' and 'witout' thing. Were you surprised about that?
+
Rodriguez: No… no, not at all. I completely and totally understand why they have rules like that. Tradition. Big tradition around these parts, I guess. I'd never order wrong. Gotta order right. Gotta love a great place like… a great place like Geno's.
+
Franklin: Well, thank you for your time.
+
(Rodriguez stares ahead as Agent Franklin goes to shake his hand. Rodriguez's hand goes limp, and for 15 seconds, Rodriguez sits motionless.)
+
Franklin: Sir?
+
Rodriguez:(Startled) Ah! Uh, yeah. No problem. Thank you, good luck.
+
+
Researcher's Note: Following the interview, Rodriguez was detained, amnesticized, and quickly released. Subsequent interviews have provided similar, inconclusive results. Rodriguez's emotional state and clear sickness have been taken into account and give justification for a D-Class expedition.
+
+
Addendum 5787.2: D-Class Investigation
+
+
+
TRANSCRIPT
+
+
+
Foreword:D-2392 was chosen to lead an investigation of SCP-5787. He broke the ordering guidelines two times prior to this transcript.
+
+
«BEGIN LOG»
+
(D-2392 approaches the countertop. The cashier can be seen leaning through the open ordering window.)
+
D-2392: Hi! Can I have a cheesesteak sandwich with American cheese and onions, please?
+
(The cashier's pupils dilate, and her skin goes pale.)
+
Cashier: Yes, sir. Coming up right away, sir. You've made a terrible mistake, sir.
+
D-2392: Huh—
+
(The cashier points at D-2392.)
+
Cashier: Reconcile and repent!
+
(The feed flashes white. Suddenly, D-2392 is lying on carpeted flooring. He stands, finding himself in a small, elegantly decorated library. He places both hands on his back, stretching.)
+
+
+
Still frame of D-2392's body camera.
+
+
+
D-2392:(Groaning) Christ, my back.
+
Unknown Voice: Great, another tourist.
+
(D-2392 turns to his right, finding a humanoid entity resembling William Penn composed of oxidized copper. The entity, henceforth SCP-5787-2, is sitting in a loveseat.)
+
D-2392: Holy shit! You're the —
+
SCP-5787-2: No, I'm not the Quaker Oats guy. I can practically smell the out-of-state on you. Take a seat.
+
(D-2392 complies, sitting in a wooden chair.)
+
SCP-5787-2: Do you have any idea what you just did?
+
D-2392: I ordered a cheesesteak wrong.
+
SCP-5787-2: Very good! You ordered the cheesesteak wrong. Maybe they accept that sort of foreign chumfuckery at Pat's2, but over here? Not gonna fly. You want the history lesson, or should we just cut to the chase?
+
D-2392: I'll take the exposition, sir.
+
SCP-5787-2:(Sighing) Very well. We Philadelphians sit on the fine balance provided by The Glorious Wit-Witout. Steak. Cheese. Onions. Bread. Maybe peppers if you're feeling up to it. With that balance comes restrictions. Restrictions that must be followed by enough people to retain that balance, else risking a collapse, and with us, The Glorious Wit-Witout.
+
D-2392: The Glorious Wit-Witout?
+
SCP-5787-2: Mm. When we were conceived, we were founded on simplicity — steak, cheese, and a roll. Ergo, you describe a cheesesteak with a simple two or three words. You following? Simple. Now, what do you think happens when you complicate the ordering of such a simple sandwich?
+
D-2392: Whatever… this is?
+
SCP-5787-2: Catastrophe. The very scales of the universe slowly tip out of our favor. When a foolish creature such as yourself violates these simple rules, The Glorious Wit-Witout grows restless.
+
D-2392: I still don't know what a Wit-Witout is. Do you mean like, like —
+
SCP-5787-2: How about I show you instead? (It stands.) Come, you're wasting time.
+
(SCP-5787-2 leads D-2392 through an arched hallway and down a torchlit stone staircase. At the bottom is a large, iron door.)
+
D-2392: This isn't like a… this isn't a sex thing right?
+
SCP-5787-2: You'll be wishing it was.
+
(SCP-5787-2 pulls the latch and forcefully pushes the door revealing a large, barely illuminated chasm. In the center is a marble altar surrounded by a ring of fire.)
+
SCP-5787-2: Come along, outlander. There are sins you must atone for.
+
(The two approach the altar.)
+
D-2392: Hey— look, I really didn't mean to — I apologize for offending you—
+
(As the altar becomes more visible, a large wooden box can be seen situated on top of it. SCP-5787-2 approaches the box, prostrates itself before it, and begins chanting.)
+
SCP-5787-2: Oh, great one! Cultivator of Carbohydrates, Sultan of Simplicity, Presider of Philidelphia, and he who is, was, and will forever be wit and forever be witout — The Glorious Wit-Witout!
+
(The box begins to tremble.)
+
SCP-5787-2: Bestow upon us your graciousness, as you grant the sacrament of penance to this undeserving outlander!
+
(The rate of trembling increases as thick, black smoke pours from the box.)
+
SCP-5787-2: Show mercy, my liege!
+
(The box snaps open, startling D-2392. From it rises a thick, orange mass. The central point is pulled up into a rounded peak which then widens, contorting into a head-and-neck-like structure. It appears to open its mouth and moans. Below it, two appendages resembling grilled onions force themselves through, twisting into arms and hands. Pieces of fried beef float within the entity's viscous body, two large portions gathering in the upper head area, representing eyes. The bottom half of the amorphous entity is unseen, still inside the box from which it emerged.)
+
D-2392: The fuck?
+
SCP-5787-2: Behold! The personification of The Glorious Wit-Witout!
+
(The Wit-Witout groans as it stretches its body towards D-2392. A gurgled voice leaves its mouth.)
+
Wit-Witout: Penn! Why did you summon me?
+
SCP-5787-2: Same as yesterday, my lord.
+
Wit-Witout: Dammit! This is torture! I hate doing this. Just order your goddamn cheesesteak correctly, it's not that hard! There's even a sign!
+
(The Wit-Witout begins to cry. SCP-5787-2 removes itself from his position of prostration and begins comforting the entity.)
+
SCP-5787-2: Do not weep, my lord! You're going to be just fine, okay?
+
Wit-Witout:(Sobs) It hurts so much in this form!
+
SCP-5787-2: I’m sorry, my lord, (To D-2392) You. Eat him.
+
D-2392: What do you mean 'eat him?' That thing?
+
SCP-5787-2: All of him.
+
Wit-Witout: Please fucking do it! (It moans in agony as it thrashes its body in the air.) You'll do me a favor!
+
SCP-5787-2: You don't have a choice in the matter, and you're not leaving until you do. This is the only way.
+
(The Wit-Witout stretches over to D-2392, gripping onto his pants.)
+
Wit-Witout:(Cries) Please. I'm begging you. Eat me. End it.
+
SCP-5787-2: Sir, you're embarrassing yourself.
+
(The Wit-Witout holds its hand to D-2392's mouth.)
+
Wit-Witout: Everything burns, please help me!
+
D-2392:(Sighs) I need a new job.
+
(D-2392 bites into the Wit Witout's hand.)
+
D-2392:(Chews) Huh, not bad. It doesn't taste like cheez-whiz either. What is that?
+
SCP-5787-2: The personification of The Glorious Wit Witout is a combination of Provolone, cheez-whiz, and American cheese. (Pause) Say the thing, my lord.
+
Wit-Witout: Oh yeah. (It takes a shallow breath) I wash ye with the blessing of the Wit Witout, the universal scales tip ever so even. Fucking whatever.
+
SCP-5787-2: You may continue.
+
(Over the next 10 minutes, D-2392 manages to consume the entire humanoid.)
+
SCP-5787-2: How do you feel?
+
(D-2392 does not respond.)
+
SCP-5787-2: Excellent.
+
(The picture becomes white before showing D-2392 on the pavement across the street from Geno's Steaks. He quickly runs to a nearby restroom and proceeds to vomit for five minutes. After recollecting himself, he approaches the shop and correctly orders a sandwich.)
A version of this article that does not use listpages can be found here
+
+
Item #: SCP-5971
+
Object Class: Keter
+
Special Containment Procedures: Suppression of knowledge concerning the anomaly is ongoing, pending approval of mass amnesticization protocol. A cover story is being formulated, to be disseminated in the Central Wisconsin area, of a technologically advanced terrorist threat in order to temporarily misinform the public within SCP-5971's area of effect.
+
Locating the epicenter of the SCP-5971 phenomenon is considered a primary containment objective. Field agents and researchers within SCP-5971 must be able to communicate through American Sign Language, and are to maintain long-distance communication by text to reduce data loss.
+
Foundation Site-608 is currently in the process of engineering a device to maintain a semblance of normalcy within SCP-5971.
+
Description: SCP-5971 is a persisting silence within Sauk County, Wisconsin; acoustic waveforms are suppressed within the area, preventing the transmission of sound. Currently, it is estimated that SCP-5971 not only encompasses all of Reedsburg, Wisconsin, but affects portions of nearby towns.
+
Discovery: SCP-5971 spontaneously occurred at approximately 02:15 AM on October 8th, 2011, reported by Foundation agents embedded in local authorities via secure e-mail to Site-608. Initially, it had been logged as an Extranormal Event, however its longevity has since warranted escalation in importance.
Special Containment Procedures: Undercover personnel within various national and international space programs are to plant the file Binary_Star.aic in both the hardware of control centers and digital components of all launched projects. Space projects to the moon must be discouraged and disbanded by the aforementioned personnel.
+
Foundation AI "Binary Star" will intercept and record all data about SCP-6143 for the Foundation database and summarily delete it from non-Foundation records. Foundation assets may not record SCP-6143 or any instances of SCP-6143-1 for safety reasons.
+
Class C amnestics must be administered to civilians that describe SCP-6143. If ineffective, further amnestics or termination may be considered.
+
Description: SCP-6143 is a skeleton of approximately 20 meters in height that carries a rusted shovel of similar length. SCP-6143 has been observed digging pits on the surface of the far side of the moon where a skeleton matching with a corpse on earth1, from here on designated as SCP-6143-1, will come out of and follow the anomaly to an unknown location. The excavated instances are only identifiable from clothing or grave goods in their possession. Neither seem to require nutrition to function nor seem to have a shared goal.
+
Further investigation into the nature of SCP-6143 is ongoing.
+
Discovery: On 12 March 2018, Dr. Nails observed SCP-6143 walking on the moon through the live feed of a Foundation satellite in lunar orbit. After 2 hours of observation, Dr. Nails saw that SCP-6143 stuck its shovel into the ground and dug a pit in one motion. Directly afterwards, an unidentified skeleton crawled out and walked away with SCP-6143, losing track of them mere moments later. After adjusting the orbit and parameters, SCP-6143 was observed more occasionally. Extracts available in the addendum below.
+
Addendum 6143.1: Excavations by SCP-6143
+
+
+
Excavation 6143.2 - 20/3/2018
+
+
+
Visual observation: SCP-6143 dug up a skeleton that held a crook and flail.
+
Analysis: The skeleton is probably a missing pharaoh from Upper Egypt. Probably dating around the 32th to the 30th century BC.
+
+
+
+
Excavation 6143.3 - 29/3/2018
+
+
+
Visual observation: SCP-6143 dug up one clothed skeleton with a couple of oak leaves in its pockets.
+
Analysis: The skeleton was later identified as William Viktor Charlotte Pendleton by Foundation researchers. Mr. Pendleton had reportedly gone missing. Government officials were able to retrieve its buried remains in a nearby forest after an anonymous tip.
+
+
+
+
Excavation 6143.8 - 11/4/2018
+
+
+
Visual observation: SCP-6143 dug up one skeleton with one leg, carrying a left leg prothese in its hand.
+
Analysis: SCP-6143 picked up the instance of SCP-6143-1 and gave it a piggyback carry. The skeleton could not be identified.
+
+
+
+
Excavation 6143.17 - 27/4/2018
+
+
+
Visual observation: SCP-6143 only put the tip of its spade in the ground whilst digging two graves.
+
Analysis: SCP-6143 helped a child's skeleton crawl out and took it in its arms. From the second pit it took an urn and emptied it inside. A black skeleton made from ash manifested instead and carried the urn afterwards.
+
+
+
+
Excavation 6143.32 - 20/5/2018
+
+
+
Visual observation: SCP-6143 dug 13 graves and drew presumably the symbol of a wreath and eternal fire at the feet. An equal amount of skeletons dressed in different uniforms from the first World War crawled out.
+
Analysis: The skeletons could not be matched with any known soldiers. They presumably are unknown soldiers that could not be laid to rest.
+
+
After several more weeks of observation multiple Foundation rovers were successfully relocated. However, a pattern in the numbers of skeletons nor location could be found. Observation continued until the events below.
+
Addendum 6143.2: Incident Log
+
+
Foreword: The following events were witnessed by Dr. Nails and Dr. Charles Passevant from their assigned control room on 13/7/2018.
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
+
+[Dr. Passevant enters with two cups of tea, gives one to his colleague and sits down in his chair. He begins to skim through the camera footage on-screen.]
+
Dr. Passevant: Okay, so still nothing?
+
Dr. Nails: Nope, nada. I mean you're skimming though them right now. They are pretty images, but nothing out of the ordinary.
+
Dr. Passevant:[Sigh.] No new anomalies found by the other departments we can talk about?
+
Dr. Nails: Not even an update on the known ones. [Sips.] Aw, fuck that's hot!
+
Dr. Passevant: Well, let's just enjoy the scenery and put the radio on.
+
Presentator: Today in our talkshow we will talk about SCP-████! It's a- [Screeching.]
+
Dr. Nails: Ah, come on, it's SCP-████! Shit's weird as hell.
+
Dr. Passevant: They only talk about clearance level 2 stuff. You know, the anomalies that have their files available to nearly everyone? Besides, you can check the uploaded podcast in the Foundation database. You should do that more often.
+
Dr. Nails: Uh, Fine. Let's just do the routine check now then. Getting that out of the way.
+
Dr. Passevant: Sure, better than sitting around.
+
[A routine check is performed during the next 8 minutes, no deviating results were reported. Details omitted for brevity.]
+
Dr. Nails: Ok, that's done. Let's go back to the camera footage and skim through it again.
+
Dr. Passevant: Already on it.
+
[Dr. Passevant begins to loop again through the camera's live feed. Suddenly, a skeleton dressed in an orange overall reading "D-████" can be seen in full focus.]
+
Dr. Nails: BY THE LOVE OF- Ah, fuck!
+
[Dr. Nails spills his tea, causing the cup to leave shards everywhere and his feet to get wet.]
+
Dr. Passevant: You ok?
+
Dr. Nails: I'll manage, just report the sighting.
+
Dr. Passevant: Hey! Why don't we have an alarm or something for when we find something more urgent? I'm pretty sure we could use it right now.
+
Dr. Nails: Alarms down here can disturb people on the telescope so they put in some automation for nearly every loud siren in the building. That stuff will probably only go off when we see a meteor or some other world ending event. I put multiple requests in to reinstate it to no avail.
+
Dr. Passevant: Well, that sucks. Guess I need to make a couple of calls. You sure you don't need any help or first aid?
+
Dr. Nails: No, no. Just confirm the identity or something whilst I clean this up.
+
[Dr. Passevant begins dialing to The Department of D-Class Resources. Dr. Nails can be heard placing his shoes on the floor.]
+
Dr. Passevant:[Click.] D-Class Resources? Passevant from- Yes… Yes, we don't have nor use D-Class here but we want to check up on one. The number? Euh… Hold on, it was D-████ I believe.
+
Dr. Nails: Don't forget to ask to the past bearers of that number. We're looking for a deceased one.
+
Dr. Passevant: Got it. Ahem. I forgot to mention, we are looking into previous wearers of the number. Who specifically? Euh, probably an adult male. Yes, yes I'll hold. No problem.
+
Dr. Nails: A number they test a lot?
+
Dr. Passevant: Probably, let's hope we got something.
+
Dr. Nails: The skeleton has a crack on it's left temple. Maybe ask for someone with head trauma.
+
Dr. Passevant: Eleven possible matches? What about someone with a skull fracture or head trauma of some kind? One match? Great! No, we don't want to request information on the experiment. We were wondering if you could check his grave. Hmm? No, I'm being serious.
+
Dr. Nails:[Sigh.] Pass me the phone.
+
Dr. Passevant: Hold on please. Nails, you're not even wearing your shoes. Why would you take this call?
+
Dr. Nails: I need to clean those too, okay? Besides, I have permission to walk on my favourite socks when there is no breach, I can perfectly work like this. Now, just pass me the phone. We already got a match, worst case scenario we need to file a separate request. And they probably also don't want to deal with the paperwork either.
+
Dr. Passevant: Okay, whatever you say. Less paperwork is always worth a try.
[Dr. Nails nods and puts a finger before his lips.]
+
Dr. Nails: Yeah, we only need to pull some checks here and there to confirm if they were actually retrieved or still floating around. Yeah, just like you said. There might have been a number switched up in our documents. Yes, just check the grave and we're good. If not we'll send a forensic or something but you know that causes a bit of hassle when you guys have people stationed everywhere. Yes, that's all. Thanks. [Click.]
+
Dr. Passevant: So… This fellow here was shot into space?
+
Dr. Nails: No, I don't recognize the number. And if you're wondering, I only read the reports afterwards.
+
Dr. Passevant: So, we'll just confirm if anything is inside the gra- Hold on a sec.
+
[SCP-6143 can be seen moving towards the SCP-6143-1 instance which came closer to the camera and is pointing at it. D-████ shakes its head and SCP-6143 looks directly back into the lense. It then scrapes the tip of his shovel against the surface and slowly begins to push it down.]
+
Dr. Nails: Passevant, I- I-
+
[Dr. Nails grasps his chest region before falling down on the floor. Dr. Passevant checks his pulse without a result. SCP-6143 can be seen pushing its shovel fully into the surface and ploughs once. The body of Dr. Nails vanishes from Dr. Passevant's hands. SCP-6143 then forcefully pulls out a skeleton clothed in the same attire as Dr. Nails and seems to whisper something to him. Dr. Nails is thrown back into the grave, touching the shovel briefly with his left leg, and buried by SCP-6143 before reappearing on site with a skeleton leg instead.]
+
Dr. Passevant: What the-
+
Dr. Nails: Shit, that hurt!
+
Dr. Passevant: How are you feeling?
+
Dr. Nails: Been better, been worse…
+
Dr. Passevant: What did it say?
+
Dr. Nails: I don't know. I don't speak dead languages, let alone Death's language. But it's pretty clear it doesn't want us observing the dead anymore. Probably wants us to let them rest in peace.
+
Dr. Passevant: So, that's what we'll do?
+
Dr. Nails: I'll talk to the higher ups. I think showing my leg could convince them to push it a little faster.
+
Dr. Passevant: Damn…
+
Dr. Nails: Yeah…
+
Dr. Passevant: Are you okay?
+
Dr. Nails: Not really.
+
Dr. Passevant: Do you want me to bring you to the medical wing or do I need to call someone?
+
Dr. Nails: No, I'm fine. It's just…
+
Dr. Passevant: What?
+
Dr. Nails: I lost one of my favourite socks.
+
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
Closing Statement: The grave of the prior D-████ individual was found to be empty. Dr. Nails was allowed to continue working and got compensated for this injury. Rovers and satellites were updated to be turned on standby once SCP-6143 or instances of SCP-6143-1 were observed.
To: Dr. Passevant
+From: Dr. Nails
+Subject: New sightings of SCP-6143
+
+
+
Passevant,
+
SCP-6143 has been sighted exponentially more in the last few days by personnel maneuvering other probes and other spatial equipment. Since I am unable to contact them at the moment due to other duties, I highly request informing them of the anomaly, updating containment procedures, and the file if necessary.
+
Nails
+
+
+
+
To: Dr. Nails
+From: Dr. Passevant
+RE: Subject: New sightings of SCP-6143
+
+
+
Nails,
+
I can definitely do that but there is no need to update the file or containments for that. I suggest we brief each other later on this and see where it goes.
+
Passevant
+
+
+
+
To: Dr. Passevant
+From: Dr. Nails
+RE: RE: Subject: New sightings of SCP-6143
+
+
+
Passevant,
+
Briefing: The new sightings are not from human skeletons nor on our moon.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6171 is to be stored in a 2m x 2m x 1m terrarium constructed from lead glass. The terrarium is to be secured in a standard small-object multipurpose room. Any personnel entering the containment chamber of SCP-6171 is to be fitted with a Class-B biological and environmental protection suit. The containment chamber of SCP-6171 is to be fitted with a high-sensitivity Geiger counter in case of a communication attempt from SCP-6171.
+
Description: SCP-6171 is a male cockroach of the Gromphadorhina portentosa (Madagascar hissing cockroach) species. SCP-6171's size is consistent with other regular members of the species. SCP-6171 does not have any significant physical characteristics that may differentiate it from other members of the species. SCP-6171 has a baseline output of 1 Gray of radiation, which it constantly outputs regardless of any external environmental factors. SCP-6171's other anomalous ability manifests when it communicates. SCP-6171 communicates through morse code in bursts of gamma radiation, which to date, has not exceeded 3 Gy. In addition to this ability, SCP-6171 shows a significantly higher level of intelligence than that which might be expected from a member of the species. SCP-6171 has been observed on several occasions, performing highly complex cognitive and motor actions, including the use of their front legs to manipulate objects and observing patterns in the routine of personnel1. Due to the details that SCP-6171 has provided, it is assumed that SCP-6171 previously was a non-anomalous human.
Translation: My name Greg Copperfinch. Wife marge. Can I go home please?
+
Notes: Margaret Copperfinch is the full name of the person SCP-6171 has referenced. Margaret is currently married to Gregory Copperfinch, currently missing.
Details: Margaret Copperfinch currently resides at 17 Blatta Cresent, Rosewood, Australia. Margaret is believed to be the spouse of SCP-6171, prior to his transformation. Margaret is the mother of three children. The disappearance of SCP-6171 has caused significant emotional and financial hardship for Margaret and her children. Local agents embedded in local law enforcement have given the cover story that Gregory Copperfinch died as a result of a car accident. Margaret Copperfinch remains unaware of the situation with SCP-6171.
A speaker was placed into the containment chamber of SCP-6171. Several words were transmitted through the sound system. Test words included: "Hello", "friend", "family", "hope", "life", "Greg", "Gregory", and "struggle".
+
+
+
Results:
+
All transmitted words were unsuccessful in establishing communication with SCP-6171.
+
+
+
+
+
+
Communication attempt #02
+
+
+
+
Aim:
+
To establish communication with SCP-6171.
+
+
+
Method:
+
Three variants of vibration motors, attached to control software, were placed into the containment chamber of SCP-6171. Each of the three motors were tested with a control morse code message of "Hello".
+
+
+
Results:
+
Motor one (20MhZ) had no effect on SCP-6171. Motor two (35MhZ) also failed to produce a reaction from SCP-6171. Motor three (40MhZ) failed to produce any results. It is theorized that SCP-6171's baseline radioactivity interferes with the vibrations caused by the motors, registering any further communications pointless.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6324 is to be stored in a standard garage at Site-37 with access to a circular track for testing purposes. Following Incident-6324, the track is to be surrounded by a reinforced wall capable of withstanding an impact from SCP-6324. SCP-6324 has been equipped with a GPS tracker and internal cameras so that it may be located in the event that it is taken from Site-37.
+
Individuals affected by SCP-6324-1 are to be given standard evaluation for mind-affecting anomalies. However, since SCP-6324-1 is a particularly subtle anomaly, no amnesticization is required.
+
Description: SCP-6324 is a 1987 █████ brand station wagon. It has continued functioning since its creation seemingly without repair, despite natural erosion. Any individual parts of SCP-6324 may break or wear down, but none of these ultimately impair its ability to function.
+
Whenever two individuals are within SCP-6324 and it is driven for over thirty minutes, an instance of SCP-6324-1 begins. During an SCP-6324-1 instance, SCP-6324 displays driving capabilities far beyond the usual of any other similar model of vehicle. These abilities include: increased acceleration and braking power, the ability to make impossibly sharp turns, and increased durability to the point of near indestructibility.
+
Individuals inside of SCP-6324 during an SCP-6324-1 instance will tend to show certain changes to their personalities. Including, but not limited to: poor impulse control, a strong desire to seek out new experiences, and an increase to any existing behavioral differences between them. Most of these effects end once the SCP-6324-1 event completes. The one exception being an increased bond between the affected individuals. This connection occurs despite any existing animosity they may have had. The two will begin to address each other as if they are close friends. Even when informed of SCP-6324’s nature, they will be unable to identify the relationship as anomalous, instead attributing it to having a significant shared experience during SCP-6324-1.
+
Incident-6324: On 25/06/2019, a test of SCP-6324 was conducted using D-927491 and D-391848. Due to a containment breach, the test was abandoned and most personnel were called away. However, after D-391848 was taken inside, D-927491 used this as an opportunity to escape, kidnapping Researcher Franklin White as a hostage and stealing the equipment from a nearby guard. The following are audio and video logs from the cameras inside SCP-6324.
Researcher White: Just, away? Do you seriously have no better plan? You realize that we’ll have to stop eventually, right?
+
D-927491: I’ve got a plan. I know a guy. Good at smuggling and owes me a favor. If anyone can keep us away from the Foundation, it’s him.
+
Researcher White: Clever. So what’s the guys name? Two-Toes Tommy? Jimmy the Weasel? Maybe it’s something short, like “Spike”. I like Spike.
+
D-927491: His name’s Edward. You watch too many movies.
+
Researcher White: Well excuse me for not knowing about the criminal underworld. I guess I’m not cultured enough for this.
+
D-927491: Are you mocking me?
+
Researcher White: Maybe.
+
D-927491: Glass houses.
+
Researcher White: What’s that supposed to mean? I’m a perfectly respectable pers- Oh my god! The World’s Weirdest Ball of Twine is coming up!
+
D-927491: You’re screwing with me.
+
Researcher White: No, look at that sign.
+
D-927491: That says, “Gas station: 3 miles”.
+
Researcher White: Right, forgot about the antimemetic. We couldn’t take down that sign, so we had to get a little creative.
+
D-927491: So is there a gas station ahead or not?
+
Researcher White: Don’t remember. We have to go, please? Please?
+
D-927491: Have you forgotten that we’re on the run?
+
Researcher White: Oh, it won’t be long. And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen that twine. It’s both there and not there, sort of prismatic, and always twitching. Just an all around drug trip.
+
D-927491: Like you know what a drug trip feels like.
+
Researcher White: You don’t know everything about me. It’s that exit up there.
+
D-927491: There’s no exit.
+
Researcher White: Right. Antimemetics. Just let me take the wheel for a second.
+
D-927491: What are you doing!
+
Researcher White forcefully grabs the steering wheel and turns it sharp to the right.
+
D-927491: Are you trying to kill us!
+
Researcher White: Stop fighting, you’ll make us crash!
+
SCP-6324 drives through what appears to be a solid barrier, and continues onto the concealed road leading to SCP-████, “The World’s Weirdest Ball of Twine”.
+
D-927491: I swear this road wasn’t here before.
+
Researcher White: I don’t have time to explain all the anomalous science. Just enjoy it! You’re one of the only people who’s going to experience the best roadside attraction on Earth!
+
D-927491: You sound like a tour guide right now.
+
Researcher White: Well, I did work at the research outpost here a while ago. So I know the ins and outs.
+
SCP-6324 stops.
+
D-927491: Research outpost?
+
Researcher White: Yeah, we were researching wherever the ball came from. I think it’s a portal to another dimension.
+
D-927491: I’m not walking into a Foundation lair!
+
Researcher White: Relax, those guys are a bunch of lazy deadbeats. When I worked there, half the time was throwing things into the portal to see what would happen. The other half was making up lab reports.1 Did you know that you can just redact half a paper?2 No one notices!3
+
D-927491: Interesting. And how do I know you aren’t leading me into a trap?
+
Researcher White: You don’t. But do you really want to miss this once in a lifetime experience?
+
D-927491 sighs and SCP-6324 starts moving again.
+
D-927491: Now you really sound like a tour guide.
+
Researcher White: Perfect! (In a tour guide voice) Coming up on the right, you should see the World’s Weirdest Ball of Twine! And can I say, it’s already a sight to behold! Only the finest unpainted brick walls.
+
D-927491: Doesn’t look much like an “attraction”.
+
Researcher White: Yeah, the Foundation tends to do that to places. Trust me, it’s way cooler on the inside.
+
D-927491: It better be, because I’m taking a pretty big risk here.
D-927491 and Researcher White are running from the research outpost around SCP-████, “The World’s Weirdest Ball of Twine”, chased by armed Foundation agents.
+
D-927491: I thought it was going to be safe!
+
Researcher White: I don’t know! I don’t recognize any of those guys!
+
D-927491 struggles to open SCP-6324’s door for a few seconds.
+
Researcher White: Hurry up hurry up hurry up—
+
D-927491: I’m trying!
+
The door comes open and the two go inside. Gunshots are heard behind them.
+
Researcher White: Wow, were they even aiming?
+
D-927491: Don’t know, don’t care.
+
Researcher White: I mean, they’re usually such good shots…
+
More gunshots. Researcher White turns around.
+
Researcher White: …They weren’t aiming at us
+
D-927491: What are you talking about?
+
A large, iridescent moth is seen following SCP-6324 in close pursuit. D-927491 sees it in the rear mirror
+
D-927491: What is that thing?
+
Researcher White: A large, insectoid entity. Judging from the context, it’s likely extradimensional. Judging from its actions, it’s likely hostile.
+
D-927491: Turn off researcher brain for one second.
+
Researcher White: Rainbow Mothra.
+
D-927491: Great. Just great. Why is it coming after us?
+
Researcher White: I’m pretty sure it came from the twine. Maybe the ball wasn’t an attraction at all. Some kind of egg?
+
D-927491: But why us? The researchers were the ones poking it with sticks!
+
Researcher White: Maybe we have something it wants.
+
D-927491: We were in the building for three seconds! I didn’t take anything, did you?
+
Researcher White: Well…
+
D-927491: You better not.
+
Researcher White: I didn’t want this whole thing to be a waste.
+
D-927491: How did you even manage that?
+
Researcher White: You know the phrase “exit through the gift shop”?
+
The entity lands on SCP-6324, denting the roof.
+
D-927491: Whatever you took, you better give it back!
+
Researcher White: We don’t even really know what it’s after.
+
D-927491: What did you take?
+
Researcher White pulls a small crystalline ball out of his pocket. It appears to shimmer with many different colors.
+
D-927491: Sure seems magic. Give it back.
+
Researcher White: But it looks so cool.
+
The entity starts to crack one of SCP-6324’s windows.
+
D-927491: That thing’s leaving the car. You can choose whether or not you’re going with it.
+
Researcher White: Fine.
+
Researcher White throws the object out of SCP-6324, it proceeds to shatter on the road.
+
D-927491: No.
+
Researcher White: Well, it was nice knowing you.
+
D-927491: Can’t say the same.
+
The entity screeches and lands next to the shards, picks them up, and flies away.
+
D-927491: Huh.
+
Researcher White: Maybe it’s more interested in the material than the structure.
+
D-927491: Or maybe it’s planning revenge.
+
Researcher White: Either way, let’s go before it comes back.
Researcher White: Wait, how are you planning on paying for the gas? You don’t have a wallet.
+
D-927491 exits SCP-6324. Researcher White is preoccupied and doesn’t notice.
+
Researcher White: You could have gotten me to pay for you, but I left my wallet in the break room, and I don’t think we’re getting it back anytime soon. Maybe you could go ask for money, but that probably won’t work, people around here look pretty stingy. I wonder if there’s some change in the cushions…
+
Gunshots. Pause.
+
D-927491 returns to SCP-6324 and starts pumping gasoline.
+
Researcher White: Did you just…
+
D-927491: Relax, they were warning shots.
+
Researcher White: That doesn’t matter! You can’t just rob a gas station!
+
D-927491: I needed money, so I got some.
+
Researcher White: You just can’t, you shouldn’t… now the police are probably after us!
+
D-927491: Eh, they take around ten minutes to show up. And guess what? Now we have gas.
+
Researcher White: I don’t even know why I got in this car with you.
SCP-6324 takes a sharp right turn into an alleyway, only barely fitting through.
+
Researcher White: Good news, I think we lost them. Bad news, this is a dead end!
+
D-927491: And here I thought you were the smart one.
+
SCP-6324 accelerates, driving onto a pile of trash bags in front of a dumpster. D-927491 shifts gears, and uses as a ramp for SCP-6324 to drive vertically up the back wall of the alley.
+
Researcher White: How did you know that would work?
+
D-927491: I was the number one test subject for this thing. I know a few tricks. For instance, gear shift’s basically magic.
+
D-927491 shifts gears back and SCP-6324 goes around the corner of the roof and begins to drive on the top.
+
D-927491: And we are approaching the edge of the roof.
+
Researcher White: Well shift gears again.
+
D-927491: This is a station wagon, do you think it can fly?
+
Researcher White: I didn’t think it could ride up walls!
+
D-927491: Fine, I’ll try it.
+
D-927491 shifts gears.
+
SCP-6324 falls off the edge of the roof.
+
D-927491: And now we’re dying in second gear.
+
Researcher White: No no no, I can’t die here. I haven’t done anything with my life. I’m just a second-rate, slacker researcher. And this is how I die. Plummeting from a building on some stupid car chase. I guess I can take comfort in the fact that no one will miss me…
+
D-927491: Hey, you’re wrong about that.
+
Researcher White: Really?
+
D-927491: Yeah, you can totally die here.
+
Researcher White: Now’s not the time for semantics!
+
SCP-6324 abruptly stops falling.
+
Researcher White: What’s going on?
+
Researcher White and D-927491 both look out the windows to see a giant prismatic moth carrying SCP-6324.
+
Researcher White: I guess I forgot rule number one of the Foundation. “Expect the unexpected”.
+
D-927491: My friends taught me a different rule.
+
Researcher White: What is it?
+
D-927491: “Never trust magic bullshit”.
+
The entity’s head splits open, revealing a large mouth. Acidic spittle drips onto SCP-6324.
+
D-927491: And my rule has never been wrong.
+
Researcher White: I don’t get it, why’s it trying to eat us?
+
D-927491: You broke its marble, it’s probably mad.
+
Researcher White: Oh, do you think “sorry” will cut it?
+
D-927491: Might as well try.
+
Researcher White:(Out window) Sorry!
+
The entity does not seem to notice.
+
Researcher White: Well that didn’t work.
+
D-927491: You think? It’s okay, I’ve got a solution. (Pulls out gun)
+
Researcher White: I thought that was out of bullets.
+
D-927491: It is. (Throws the gun at the entity)
+
The gun does not appear to injure the creature, but it does make it wince and drop SCP-6324 onto the road.
+
Researcher White: Now drive!
+
D-927491 slams the accelerator, swerving to avoid cars. Ahead is a barricade constructed by a combination of the Foundation and local law enforcement.
+
Researcher White: Oh no, they’re ready for us.
+
D-927491: Buckle up.
+
D-927491 shifts gears.
+
Upon hitting the barricade, SCP-6324’s front wheels tilt upwards and the whole vehicle leaves the ground. The officers stare at it in disbelief as it goes over their heads before landing on the ground.
Researcher White: Awesome! I can finally meet Spike!
+
D-927491:(Starts to pull SCP-6324 into a driveway) Do not call him that.
+
Researcher White: You have no power over me.
+
D-927491 sighs and exits SCP-6324. A doorbell is heard. Pause. POI-740176 approaches SCP-6324.
+
POI-740176: So you’re the runaways?
+
Researcher White: We sure are, Spike!
+
D-927491: His name is still Edward.
+
POI-740176: Oh please, it’s Spike to my friends.
+
Researcher White’s eyes go wide as he gasps.
+
D-927491: Don’t lie to the guy, it’s too easy.
+
POI-740176: Well, names aside, what happened to you, Abigail? I heard you got the chair. And what’s with this uniform you’re wearing?
+
Researcher White: She could tell you, but she’d have to kill you.
+
POI-740176: You’re joking, right?
+
Researcher White: Yeah, we’re not the ones who’d kill you.
+
POI-740176: Well, what’s another person after my life?
+
D-927491: You’re a truck driver with a secret compartment, you’re not Han Solo.
+
POI-740176: Well maybe I want to be, I like a little action.
+
D-927491: There’s no talking you out of this, is there?
+
POI-740176: You showed up out of nowhere in a beat up station wagon, wearing a prison jumpsuit, with a guy in a lab coat. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t ask what’s going on.
+
D-927491: Fine, it’s a long story. How do I even explain it?
+
Researcher White: Magic is real, I’m part of an elaborate conspiracy to cover it up, she got freed from death row to be a slave/test subject. Oh yeah, and the car’s magic.
+
POI-740176: Okay okay, very funny.
+
D-927491: No, he’s pretty much right.
+
POI-740176: Wait, really?
+
Silence as POI-740176 starts to realize.
+
POI-740176: So, why are you here?
+
D-927491: Well, you see, I escaped that group, and now we’re on the run.
Researcher White: Well, it’s not quite in my clearance level, but I’ve noticed a few things.
+
POI-740176: I suddenly regret asking.
+
D-927491: I tried to stop you.
+
POI-740176: I don’t regret it that much. This sounds like a pretty cool adventure.
+
Researcher White: Right?
+
D-927491: Oh no, now there’s two of you.
+
Researcher White: So, where do we start?
+
POI-740176: Well first you’re going to need to change, because I assume those clothes are from this conspiracy organization?
+
D-927491: Yep, and changing sounds good. This jumpsuit is about as comfortable as it looks.
+
Researcher White: I like my lab coat. Do I really have to ditch it?
+
POI-740176: Yes. Next, you said this car’s magic?
+
Researcher White: Yep, we were testing it. So there’s still some equipment hooked up.
+
D-927491:(Concerned) Equipment? Like what?
+
Researcher White: Let’s see, I remember setting up cameras, microphones, a GPS tracker, and cup holders, probably a few other things too.
+
Pause.
+
D-927491: Wait, what?
+
Researcher White: I know, right? What kind of a car doesn’t come with cup holders?
+
D-927491: Not the cup holders! Why didn’t you tell me we were being tracked!
+
Researcher White: You never asked.
+
D-927491: So that’s how they found us?
+
Researcher White: That, and we were followed by Rainbow Mothra.
+
POI-740176: Rainbow Mothra?
+
D-927491: Don’t ask. So where is this “equipment”?
+
Researcher White: Oh, it’s right over here. (To POI-740176) So, Rainbow Mothra is my name for this big monster that was following us—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum: SCP-6324 was recovered outside the house of POI-740176 (Edward “Spike” Summers). He, POI-740177 (Abigail Beckett), and POI-740178 (Franklin White) have yet to be found. A type two watch has been placed on them. They are not considered hazardous, but they pose a potential risk to the veil if left alone.
SCP-6368 is to remain employed by the Foundation within the Department of the Departed. Quarterly interviews, framed as performance reviews, are scheduled to track efficacy of the cover story and containment procedures. The Department must continue to employ analogue archival of documents to ensure SCP-6368 is able to fulfil his responsibilities to the best of his ability. SCP-6368 must not be informed of his SCP status, nor of his death.
+
+
+
+
SCP-6368 causes significant interference when captured by security camera, 2002
+
+
+
Description:
+
SCP-6368 is the spirit of Secretary Christopher Heathers who, having died while working at Site-59, remained earthbound beyond death as a semi-corporeal eidolon-class phantasm.1 The anomaly, being semi-corporeal, is capable of interacting with the physical world, but is intangible to living and animate matter.
+
SCP-6368 has existed in this form since his death in 1957, recorded in Event Log 6368.1:
+
+
+
+
Event Log 6368.1
+
+
+DATE: 1957/06/16
+
+
– BEGIN LOG –
+
22:45:52: Secretary Heathers is re-organizing documents in the Chimerical Hauntings2 section of the departmental archives.
+
22:47:20: Heathers takes a file, CH-1938-RH, from its place.
+
22:47:49: After reading the file’s title, Heathers continues along the aisle.
+
22:48:52: Secretary Heathers’ shoelaces have come untied. He steps on them, tripping over. Heathers falls forwards, dropping the file. After colliding head-first with the hardwood floor, Heathers ceases movement.
+
Eight minutes of inactivity excised.
+
22:56:07: A faint glow emanates from the body of Secretary Heathers, indicating SCP-6368 has formed. As the phantasm is identical to the dead employee, his presence becomes properly evident when he begins to move.
+
22:56:37: SCP-6368 blinks, then raises his head, looking around. He appears transparent on security footage, and the aura surrounding him does not illuminate his environment.
+
22:57:14: The anomaly rises from his supine position, and begins searching the floor for File CH-1938-RH, unsuccessfully. SCP-6368’s movements are slow, but precise.
+
23:02:29: SCP-6368 ceases his search, and continues filing documents. While he is able to interact with the files, he has passed through his body without issue numerous times. He appears unable to notice his own corpse.
+
23:27:48: With documents adequately organized, SCP-6368 leaves the Chimerical Hauntings section, returning to his desk.
+
+
– END OF LOG –
+
+
+
Secretary Heathers’ death occurred late at night on a Sunday, in an area of low activity. His death, therefore, was not noticed before SCP-6368 returned to his desk. The discovery of SCP-6368’s identity as a post-mortal apparition occurred by chance the next morning, as recorded in Event Log 6368.2:
+
+
+
+
Event Log 6368.2
+
+
+DATE, TIME: 1957/06/17, 07:34
+
+
– BEGIN LOG –
+
[SCP-6368 is at his desk in the reception of the Department of the Departed, organising intradepartmental events for July. He has been working since returning to his desk before midnight, and shows no signs of fatigue. Agent Dinah McLean steps out of the reception’s elevator. SCP-6368 stands to greet her.]
+
McLean: Morning, Chris.
+
SCP-6368: Morning. Got your latest report?
+
McLean: Right here! How was your weekend?
+
SCP-6368: I’ve been organising the archives: first chronologically, then alphabetically, now a unique hybrid of the two systems. Riveting stuff!
+
[Agent McLean laughs.]
+
SCP-6368: I’m not kidding. I started by wondering whether it’d be better to have files be ordered according to when the Department first identified them as phantasmagoric events, or according to when the first known haunting occurred. It may sound like a meaningless change but it’d really affect how we file away our medieval case fil–
+
McLean: Well, that does sound like a lot of fun. Really. I’ve got to dash to a meeting. It’s on, uh, poltergeist retrieval. Don’t work yourself too hard!
+
[McLean hands SCP-6368 her report, and attempts to pat him on the back. Her hand passes through the anomaly.]
+
McLean: I– Wait. You–
+
SCP-6368: Thanks! I do try to keep a strict timetable of work and play, of course it’s very important not to spend too much time or effort on either of the two.
+
[McLean moves her hand through SCP-6368. He does not appear to notice.]
+
McLean: You’re a– I just–
+
SCP-6368: Though, recently I’ve been feeling particularly energised so I’ve felt comfortable pushing myself to get all my work done long before it’s–
+
McLean: Chris? I think you–
+
SCP-6368: –needed, though at the same time you may well be right, I’ve had a splitting headache all morning, of course that’s just the sort of thing you have to push through if you want to be proud of your work, and being proud of what you and I and all the rest of us are doing here is really what gets me up in the morning, or at least most mornings, I didn’t catch any sleep last night, far too busy with all the filing and such, so perhaps it’d be better to say it’s what keeps me going through the small hours of the mor– Dinah? Are you feeling okay? You’ve gone pale as anything.
+
[Agent McLean activates a silent alarm button, located on the underside of Secretary Heathers’ desk.]
+
McLean: You know what? I’m doing alright. Perfect. How are you? You feeling okay? Why don’t we just… let’s just chat for a second.
+
SCP-6368: I’m… I’m fine. Are you sure you’re not feeling under the weather? You mentioned a meeting you had to get to?
+
McLean: That– That can wait. I’d like to, uh, hear more about this filing you’ve been doing. You said it was chronological?
+
SCP-6368:Semi-chronological. Like I was saying: I thought organising by chronological date of inception could be very beneficial for research into historical hauntings, and the like, but then I stopped myself, thinking “Chris, you dolt! You’ve forgotten all about the possibility of retrocausal hauntings!” [He laughs.] How do you forget a thing like that? Am I right?
+
McLean:[She laughs, weakly.] Yes, yes of course. That was silly.
+
Four minutes of extraneous dialogue excised.
+
[Mobile Task Force Beta-00 (“Team Spirit”) storms the reception, responding to the silent alarm. Following standard procedure, MTF Beta-00 instruct Agent McLean and SCP-6368 to assume the safety position, citing a local containment breach. The two comply.]
+
[Noting SCP-6368’s intangibility, the task force applies preliminary apparition containment procedures to McLean and SCP-6368. SCP-6368 appears largely unfazed, and continues to describe his filing system to both Agent McLean and members of β-00 while being escorted to a containment cell.]
+
+
– END OF LOG –
+
+
+
Agent McLean was discharged from containment and lauded for her handling of the situation. SCP-6368 remained in containment, under the impression that a breach had occurred, until the current procedures were devised.
+
+
+
+
+
Secretary Heathers, photographed prior to his death.
+
+
+
Eidolon-class entities exhibit qualities congruent with the opinions held of them at the point of death. As such, SCP-6368 remains well-organised, acutely aware of the practices of the Department of the Departed, and highly capable when performing secretarial duties. As evidenced in Event Log 6368.2, eidolon-class entities can be difficult to identify in person without physical interaction: upon reviewing the event logs, Agent McLean reported SCP-6368’s translucency to be much more noticeable on camera than in-person.3
+
Due to SCP-6368’s aptitude for his deceased counterpart’s responsibilities, the Department has elected to retain SCP-6368 under his pre-existing contract. SCP-6368 is presently unaware of any irregularities of his situation, as it has been deemed impractical to provide the anomaly with information pertaining to his death. SCP-6368 has been provided with a cover story: during the supposed breach of 1957/06/17, he was contaminated with an unknown (but stable) anomaly, and thus should avoid contact with living beings. An alternate event log, reporting the aforementioned circumstances, was provided for SCP-6368 to read.
+
In a performance review one year following SCP-6368’s death, Site Director Andersen stated Secretary Heathers’ performance was “flawless”, noting his vast knowledge, his willingness to perform menial tasks without issue or complaint, and the fact that he did not require rest, recuperation, or vacation time.
On 1984/01/01, during the preliminary stage of digitizing the Department of the Departed’s archives,4 it was discovered that SCP-6368 has great difficulty interacting directly with electrical devices, ostensibly due to their “animate” nature.5 A cost-benefit analysis – pitting modernising the Department against continual reliance on SCP-6368 for record-keeping, organization, and administration – found Secretary Heathers’ position within the Foundation to be nigh-irreplaceable. In addition to halting the digitization efforts, the recently-appointed Site Director Mathis ordered an update to containment procedures: regular interviews, both to ensure SCP-6368 was not likely to discover his nature as a post-mortal entity, and to identify any adjustments required to ensure he remains earthbound. These interviews have been successful but largely inconclusive. A sample is provided below:
+
+
+
+
Autumn ‘Performance Review’, 1992
+
+
+DATE: 1992/11/01
+Agent Arthur Reilly has been interviewing SCP-6368 for 45 minutes, and is close to conclusion. The discussion has not strayed far from Heathers’ secretarial duties.
+
+
– BEGIN LOG SEGMENT –
+
SCP-6368: In many ways, you know, I consider it a hobby, too.
+
Reilly: You do?
+
SCP-6368: Yes! I get plenty of satisfaction from what I do here. Working for the Department– With the department. Some days I’m filing documents, other days I’m filing interviews. I never know what I’ll be doing next.
+
Reilly: But mostly filing.
+
SCP-6368: Mostly filing, yes. And sometimes scheduling. And correspondences, all that. But even then, the types of things I read about in my job, it feels like the world will never run out of oddities.
+
Reilly: I’m sure. So, the past fifty or so years, they’ve been good to you?
+
SCP-6368: Stunningly so! The first decade was somewhat rocky, but since that breach in the fifties, I’ve had energy like nothing else.
+
Reilly: And there’s nothing the Department could do to improve your… “quality of life”?
+
SCP-6368: Have you been looking into a cure for my condition? I understand it’s for the good of the Site, but I haven’t touched a person in… well, decades, I suppose. It’s not easy.
+
Reilly: I can assure you, we’re doing our best, and you have my sympathy. Nothing’s come up yet, but we haven’t given up hope, and neither should you.
+
SCP-6368: I understand.
+
[Silence on recording]
+
SCP-6368: I should get back to work. The transcript for the latest departmental seminar still hasn’t been edited. It’s a good one too, were you there for it?
+
Reilly: I was busy, sorry. But you’re right, I think we can call this a successful review. If you’re ready, feel free to make your way back to–
+
SCP-6368: Doctor Holvig spoke about the necessity for identify verification during vague-haunting scenarios. It was rather inspiring. Plenty of DoD field agents, I’m sure, neglect to ascertain all the facts when writing a report of a minor haunting. Just because the ghost you've encountered isn't possessing farmyard animals, or daubing walls in blood, it doesn't mean you can spare some detail!
+
[Agent Reilly sighs.]
+
SCP-6368: I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, of course, far from it. I’m sure you’re very thorough. It just makes record-keeping difficult for folks like me, the grunts. I had one file the other week: no victim name, no entity classification, nothing. The agent marked the incident as “a trick of the light.” A trick of the light. I’m sure I’m not alone in finding that a little detail-light, am I? Hardly the sor–
+
[The recording cuts. Agent Reilly has terminated the interview.]
+
+
– END OF LOG –
+
+
+
+
Throughout all quarterly interviews, SCP-6368 has never indicated any significant discomfort with his position, and there has been no indication that the post-mortal apparition will dispel himself without significant cause. SCP-6368 frequently requests updates on the project to rid him of the contamination he believes necessitates his physical isolation. Should he repeat this request, he is to be told that progress is being made, slowly. Under no circumstances should he be allowed to lose hope in this process; it is thought that this hope may be tethering him to the mortal plane.
+
+
Update: 2005/03/09
+
After a meta-analytical review of the “unfinished business” cause of post-mortal tethering was published within the anomalous science community,6 containment specialists planned a novel series of interviews with SCP-6368. These interviews were intended to identify any major life milestones, or significant goals Secretary Heathers had had in his life, but had not attained at the point of death. Any progress towards these goals could result in the demanifestation of SCP-6368, thus it was in the interests of the Foundation to identify – and obstruct – such progress, to ensure the maintenance of the Department of the Departed’s infrastructure.
+
The first three of these interviews occurred without incident, finding no outstanding life goals in Christopher Heathers’ personal relationships, no unfulfilled wishes within his hobbies or pastimes, and no desires relating to national or international sightseeing. The fourth, however, was focused on his professional career goals, and resulted in an unexpected outcome. The relevant portion of this interview is presented in Event Log 6368.3:
+
+
+
+
Event Log 6368.3
+
+
+DATE: 2005/03/08
+Foreword: Operative Anna Purdie has been interviewing SCP-6368 for 20 minutes. Thus far, no desires to experience other fields of work have been identified; Secretary Heathers was happy with his largely-sedentary employment.
+
+
– BEGIN LOG SEGMENT –
+
SCP-6368: So no, I was never really up for any action. And I certainly wouldn’t be now, not at my age!
+
Purdie: Sure, I understand. We should be able to wrap up soon, just a few more pages left on this questionnaire.
+
SCP-6368: Don’t worry about me, I’m happy to keep going.
+
Purdie: I’m sure. Let’s move on, anyway. Did you ever get passed up for a promotion? Did you ever feel your superiors were undeserving of their position?
+
SCP-6368: Well, not particularly, no. I’ve felt I’ve performed my duties well. I’m living quite comfortably. Sure, I’ve seen a few yuppies climb the ladder, right past me, but it doesn’t bother me. I’m here to help my colleagues, not hinder them, you dig?
+
Purdie: Sure. I… dig. So let me get this straight: in your sixty-odd years of employment within the Department of the Departed, you’ve never felt professionally slighted?
+
SCP-6368: I suppose I did miss something out, but it’s really nothing. Just a hunch I’ve been holding onto far too long.
+
Purdie: Go on.
+
SCP-6368: I’ve been around for a while. I’ve seen this department go through a lot. Three board reshuffles, two new directors, uncountable scientific discoveries… and I’ve never been promoted, relocated, commended… Nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, just find it odd. Unlikely.
+
Purdie: What’s your point?
+
SCP-6368: Maybe I jinxed myself. Let me give you an example. Back in the fifties, ‘round the time of that breach? The one that’s got me all tainted with God-knows-what? The night before, I was working on a new filing system; first I tried chronological, then–
+
Purdie: I’ve reviewed the report, I’m aware of that re-organization attempt.
+
SCP-6368: Alright, alright. After we got the Site back under control after the breach, I went back to finish the reorganisation, and changed the whole thing. You see, I’d dropped a file the day before, and it made me realize that the sys–
+
Purdie: Is that file CH-1938-RH?
+
SCP-6368: That’s right! That’s the one! I couldn’t find it where I dropped it, the next day. It was just gone. And looking for it made me realize–
+
Purdie: Oh, don’t worry about that. Like I said, I’ve been reading the reports of that incident. They found the file: it’d slipped underneath one of the shelving units and got all dusty, so the folks who were cleaning the site where you… uh, fell… they took it away to clean it up.
+
SCP-6368: You found the file? That’s good! So my theory on the matter is– oh. [He pauses.] That’s changed things a little.
SCP-6368: I was more than a pencil-pusher, Anna. I did have a life. Did no-one care?
+
Purdie: What?
+
SCP-6368: The way you all remembered me, it’s hurtful. Things are a lot clearer now. I’m through.
+
Purdie: You’re… You’re through?
+
[Silence on recording. SCP-6368’s hair wafts, caught by gusts of wind. His skin glows brighter.]
+
Purdie: You’re passing on? Because of a file?
+
SCP-6368: Isn’t it wonderful?
+
Purdie: Fifty years of un-death over a fucking document. You are shitting me, Chris!
+
[The wind surrounding SCP-6368 picks up speed.]
+
SCP-6368: Please, Anna. I am at peace now. Besides, I wasn’t shitting you. I haven’t done that in–
+
[Heathers is speaking, but his words are inaudible over the wind. He continues to glow brighter. Operative Purdie shields her eyes. The security camera is unable to adapt to the brightness.]
+
[Thirty seconds later, the whiteout fades. Operative Purdie is alone in the interview room.]
+
Purdie: Fuck.
+
+
– END OF LOG –
+
+
+
+
Reclassification to Neutralized pending, to be completed alongside large-scale modernisation of the DoD’s administration, organisation, communications, and over 80 years of archival data stored at Site-59. All agents not on active duty have been reassigned to secretarial duties for the remainder of this effort.
secretaryheathers.jpg is a composite. It was created from:
+
+
Name: Oh, Lady, Lady (1920) - 2
+Author: Realart Pictures Corporation
+License: Public Domain
+Source Link:Wikimedia Commons
+
+
and
+
+
Name: Mineralogia Naples6
+Author: Paolo Orlando
+License: CC BY 3.0 Unported
+Source Link:Wikimedia Commons
+
+
The image was edited by GremlinGroup and is released under CC BY-SA 3.0
+
+
+
Filename: chrisheathers.jpg
+Name: Eirik Sundvor (1902-1992)
+Author: The Municipal Archives of Trondheim and GremlinGroup
+License: CC-BY-SA 3.0
+Source Link: This Page
+Derivative of:flickr
A view of SCP-6444 from the upstairs bedroom of Researcher Merrick's residence.
+
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-6444 is thus far unknown to residents, evacuation of Culwick Avenue has been deemed unnecessary. MTF Upsilon-13 has been placed in charge of determining PoI-6444-01's whereabouts. SCP-6444-A is to remain in a medium-value containment locker at Site-166.
+
Description: SCP-6444 is a phenomenon periodically affecting Culwick Avenue, located in the town of Culwick, Florida, United States.
+
SCP-6444 manifests as a thunderstorm, completely covering the sky above the street. SCP-6444 has no clear pattern of manifestation, save for the fact that SCP-6444 has, to-date, never occurred on a day where Culwick Elementary School1 is in session. SCP-6444 is entirely localized to Culwick Avenue, with the boundaries of the storm terminating where Culwick Avenue merges with Over The Rainbow Boulevard to the west and Palm Street to the east. SCP-6444 manifestations dissipate upon the beginning of the next calendar day.
+
The sound of SCP-6444's rainfall produces a cognitohazardous effect, resulting in feelings of disappointment and ennui in those who hear it. This effect is limited to individuals located within a residence on the street; individuals located outside will not experience any unusual effects. These effects subside after an average of 20 minutes, being replaced with feelings of ambition and sociability. This typically results in subjects seeking out other individuals to spend time with for the duration of the storm, often participating in projects and playing indoor games.
+
The first SCP-6444 manifestation took place on October 8, 1995. SCP-6444 was reported as a potential anomaly shortly after by Foundation researcher Styx Merrick, a resident of Culwick Avenue, after xe noted several similar thunderstorms not corresponding to expected weather patterns in a short amount of time. Investigation followed, and containment procedures were drafted.
+
+
+
Addendum 6444.1: Interview Logs
+
+
+
Interviewer: Styx Merrick, researcher, Site-166
+
Interviewee: David Reese, civilian
+
Foreword: The following interview was conducted on 11/30/1995. Reese has been a resident of Culwick Avenue for 18 years. The interview was conducted to get a resident's perspective on SCP-6444.
+
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
+
Researcher Merrick: Thank you for sitting down to talk with me today.
+
Reese: Ah, don't worry about it, Stick. It's always good to talk to you.
+
Researcher Merrick: I just wanted to ask you a few questions regarding the weather on Culwick Avenue.
+
Reese: Ah, yes, the weather in Culwick is wonderful. I moved here from Miami quite a while ago. Lovely city, but I hate the hurricanes.
+
Researcher Merrick: Yes, I am aware. Have you ever noticed how frequent the storms are here?
+
Reese: Ah, well, you know what they say, 'never trust a sunny day in Florida.'
+
[Reese proceeds to laugh at his statement for several seconds.]
+
Researcher Merrick: Indeed. Have you ever noticed anything odd regarding the storms?
+
Reese: I can't say I have. My kids do always want to hang out with me on rainy days. I guess being stuck inside really does that to you, huh?
+
Researcher Merrick: I suppose it does.
+
Reese: I think the weather here is perfect. I just love hearing all the stories.
+
Researcher Merrick: Would you care to elaborate on what you mean by that?
+
Reese: I know you're doing this interview for your documentary2, Stick, but you don't have to act all formal with me.
+
Researcher Merrick: I apologize.
+
Reese: But yes, the stories. Maddy's always telling me about all the fun things she and her daughter get up to during the storms.
+
Researcher Merrick: Interesting. Could you name a few examples of activities they do?
+
Reese: You know, arts and crafts, video games, board games. Normal indoor activities.
+
Researcher Merrick: Not surprising.
+
Reese: Stick, you seem to be the only one I never hear about. Are you okay? I know you don't live with anyone, you must be so lonely, cooped up in there all the time.
+
Researcher Merrick: I assure you, Dave, I'm perfectly fine. There's no need to worry about me.
+
Reese: Alright, well if you ever need anyone to hang out with, my door is always open.
+
Researcher Merrick: I'll keep that in mind.
+
Reese: Oh, that reminds me. Me and John are having a barbecue on Sunday, if you'd like to come.
+
[Six seconds of silence pass.]
+
Researcher Merrick: Sure. I'd love to.
+
+
[END LOG]
+
+
+
+
Interviewer: Styx Merrick, researcher, Site-166
+
Interviewee: David Reese, civilian
+
Foreword: The following interview was conducted on 12/02/1995. The interview was conducted to gain more information on SCP-6444's effects.
+
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
+
Researcher Merrick: Hi, Dave, thank you for talking with me today.
+
Reese: Oh, don't worry about it, Stick. Anything to help with your documentary. By the way, can you give me a copy when you're finished? I'd love to see it.
+
Researcher Merrick: I'll see what I can do.
+
Reese: So, is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?
+
Researcher Merrick: Yes, I wanted to discuss the weather of Culwick a little more with you. What do you and your family do during storms?
+
Reese: Ah, well. Once the rain starts to pick up and we know it's going to be a soggy day, me and John usually camp out in the living room. That is, if he's home. The kids always seem pretty bummed out when the rain starts.
+
Researcher Merrick: Does anything else happen? Anything unusual?
+
Reese: Nothing really unusual, I'd say. Usually after a while the kids come downstairs and hang out with us. It's always a good time with them.
+
Researcher Merrick: I'm glad to hear that.
+
Reese: You should come over sometime. I'm sure John would be happy to see you.
+
Researcher Merrick: That sounds great.
+
Reese: Yeah, let's make it happen.
+
Researcher Merrick: Sure.
+
Reese: That's what I like so much about rainy days. They give me a chance to spend time with Julia and Monty that I never got to have with… with Harrison.
+
Researcher Merrick: I am incredibly sorry for what happened with Harrison.
+
[Reese's breathing becomes heavy.]
+
Reese: No, it's… I mean, you don't have to, to say that. It's not like you did anything. I just, I wish I could've been there. I wish there was a way I could've stopped it.
+
Researcher Merrick: Dave, we all wish we could've helped. But there's nothing anyone could've done.
+
Reese: No. if I had just gone with him, I could've seen the car coming.
+
Researcher Merrick: You don't need to blame yourself for the actions of another person.
+
Reese: But if I had only—
+
Researcher Merrick: Dave, I want you to listen to me. There's nothing you could've done. What happened to Harrison was a tragedy. An awful, awful tragedy. But you did not cause it. You did not cause your son any harm. You don't need to blame yourself.
+
Reese: I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this in your documentary.
+
Researcher Merrick: Dave, forget about the documentary. I don't need to put this in. But I need you to tell me the truth when I ask you this. The first storm and Harrison's death line up perfectly. Did you have something to do with it?
+
[Reese shifts in his seat. There is a look of surprise on his face.]
+
Reese: I- yes. Yes, I made the storm. Don't tell anyone, okay? I just, I just wanted something that would let me spend more time with the kids. After the incident, none of them wanted to come out of their rooms. I had to do something.
+
Researcher Merrick: How did you do it?
+
Reese:I found a book. It told me about magic, that it was real, and how to do it. It was stuff I know I never would've believed in before, but in my desperation I gave it a try. And I created the storm. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, you know? It wore off at midnight and I got to spend time with my family. What could be wrong with that?
+
[Reese pauses.]
+
Reese: But I did it again. I knew I shouldn't have, but I just needed to spend more time with them. I started doing it more and more, and then somehow it started happening on its own. Luckily, the effect was limited to Culwick Avenue, and it was harmless enough that I wasn't putting anyone in danger. I figured it wasn't that bad. Was I wrong? I don't know anymore.
+
[Eight seconds of silence pass.]
+
Researcher Merrick: Dave. I need you to listen to me very carefully, and to not tell anyone else what I'm telling you right now. You cannot, under any circumstances, let anybody know about this. There are people out there who will do anything they need to to prevent knowledge of this from spreading. And that would include detaining you and separating you from your family. Do you understand?
+
Reese: Yes, I understand.
+
Researcher Merrick: I'm looking out for you, because you are my friend, and I know you have your best intentions at heart. I will keep this under control, but I need you to never let anyone know about this.
+
Reese: I understand. Thank you. Thank you so much.
+
+
[END LOG]
+
+
+
Following the above interview, David Reese has been designated PoI-6444-01, due to his involvement in the creation of SCP-6444. PoI-6444-01 has been placed under surveillance by MTF Upsilon-13 ("All the King's Horses")3. The book referenced in the interview has been confiscated and designated SCP-6444-A.
+
+
+
Addendum 6444.2: Related Documentation
+
+
Note: The following requests were filed by Researcher Merrick and sent to Site-166 director of research Winston Dumont.
+
+
SCP FOUNDATION INTERNAL REQUEST FORM
+
+
Date Filed: 12/04/1995
+
Request Details: I am requesting that David Reese be cleared of PoI designation and be released from surveillance. Reese has no innate anomalous characteristics and SCP-6444-A has been taken into custody at Site-166. For this reason I am requesting Reese be amnesticized and relieved of surveillance.
+
Status: DENIED
+
+
+
SCP FOUNDATION INTERNAL REQUEST FORM
+
+
Date Filed: 12/06/1995
+
Request Details: I am requesting PoI-6444-01 be amnesticized and no longer studied. We have no more information to gain from him.
+
Status: DENIED
+
+
+
SCP FOUNDATION INTERNAL REQUEST FORM
+
+
Date Filed: 12/08/1995
+
Request Details: I am requesting SCP-6444 be left alone. Research into SCP-6444 cannot provide any more useful information, and surveillance of Culwick Avenue is becoming costly. I am requesting research be discontinued until such time that a situation calls for more information to be gathered.
+
Status: DENIED
+
+
Note: The following request was filed by MTF Upsilon-13 commander Lucy Haphim and sent to Site-166 director Marsha Lewis.
+
+
SCP FOUNDATION INTERNAL REQUEST FORM
+
+
Date Filed: 02/20/1996
+
Request Details: On 02/04/1996, a member of MTF Upsilon-13 was killed by a lightning strike during an SCP-6444 manifestation. On 02/11/1996, another member was severely injured during a manifestation after being struck by a falling tree. On 02/19/1996, two agents were struck by a surveillance vehicle due to poor visibility during a storm.
+
It is the belief of MTF Upsilon-13 that SCP-6444 is targeting members of the task force, and as such I am requesting that PoI-6444-01 be placed into custody at Site-166 so as to limit Foundation contact with the street.
+
Status: APPROVED
+
+
Note: The following request was filed by Researcher Merrick and sent to Site-166 director Marsha Lewis.
+
+
SCP FOUNDATION INTERNAL REQUEST FORM
+
+
Date Filed: 02/21/1996
+
Request Details: You've detained an innocent man and separated him from his family for no good reason. I am requesting you go fuck yourself.
+
Status: INVALID REQUEST
+
+
Note: The following request was filed by MTF Upsilon-13 commander Lucy Haphim and sent to Site-166 director Marsha Lewis.
+
+
SCP FOUNDATION INTERNAL REQUEST FORM
+
+
Date Filed: 02/22/1996
+
Request Details: On 02/21/1996, PoI-6444-01 was discovered missing from his cell at Site-166. Security footage shows Researcher Styx Merrick breaking down the cell door with a makeshift explosive device. Investigation by MTF Upsilon-13 discovered the Reese residence to be completely vacated. Researcher Merrick and PoI-6444-01, as well as John, Julia, and Montgomery Reese are considered to be at large.
+
Subjects possess vital knowledge of the Foundation and Site-166.
+
Requesting MTF Upsilon-13 be sent to track down and detain the subjects by any means necessary.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-661 is confined to a standard holding cell measuring 6m x 8m at ███-██. Standard humanoid containment provision allows SCP-661 access to a bed, toilet, and a sink with a mirror, all of which are currently contained within the holding cell. At subject’s request, the room is kept at an average temperature of 20˚C. All other requests must be approved by a senior staff member.
+
Guards assigned to SCP-661 must wear ear protection capable of sound neutralization and white noise generation. In the past, guards certified by Foundation medical staff as deaf have been permitted contact with SCP-661 without ear protection; however, this practice is now discouraged. Security cameras monitoring SCP-661 should have sound recording functionality disabled.
+
All personnel coming into contact with SCP-661 without ear protection are to be assessed to determine if they have come under the influence of his abilities. Where uncertainty exists personnel should be made subject to 24-hour quarantine before reassessment. The cycle of quarantine and reassessment should continue until assessing staff are satisfied that SCP-661’s influence has diminished. Personnel reviewing audio test logs should also be made subject to assessment.
+
SCP-661 is to be fed three times per day with food from the canteen at ███-██, and is to be provided with drinkable liquids six times a day. Subject has expressed a preference for flavoured drinks instead of water; access to these is permitted as a guarantor of good behaviour, with the privilege temporarily revoked if SCP-661 causes trouble for Foundation staff.
+
Description: SCP-661 is a ██-year-old Caucasian male. Clinical tests have determined him to be overweight and in poor health, although he has no underlying health problems. He is to be provided with an annual physical to monitor his condition. SCP-661’s temperament has been frequently described as abrasive and demanding, while Foundation psychological assessment has determined him to be the possessor of a poor temper, which has increasingly worsened since his containment in 199█.
+
Testing has determined that SCP-661’s voice has the power to manipulate others into wanting what he tells them to want. Test subjects have described the effect as feeling like a continuous weak compulsion, which remains as a thought at the back of the mind for up to a week after encountering SCP-661. This compulsion is not powerful enough for the test subject to put himself at undue risk to acquire an item, but when presented with an opportunity (such as passing by a shop selling a desired item) they will unthinkingly seek to obtain it. The effect is strongest for physical objects, but has also been observed to function for abstract concepts. Note that the subject must be able to understand SCP-661’s speech in order to be affected by this ability.
+
SCP-661 was first encountered while working as an advertising/marketing agent in ██████ ███, doing vocal work for radio and TV advertisements. He became known to the Foundation after becoming notorious for making bets about being able to persuade anyone to do anything; his abnormally high success rate in this regard led to his being placed under surveillance, followed by containment for testing after his powers were recorded by an undercover agent. Next of kin were provided with a simple cover story involving a yachting accident.
+
Addendum 661-1: Despite initial claims to the contrary, it has been determined that SCP-661 is perfectly aware of his powers. Though it is unlikely that SCP-661 will ever be a direct threat to Foundation personnel, the potential consequences for security should he breach containment and manage to reach civilisation are sufficient that termination is authorised should escape be attempted. SCP-661 has displayed no unnatural abilities beyond that of his voice, so it is theorised that he can be incapacitated by standard means.
+
Addendum 661-2: Test Log
+Test 661-0: D-606955 exposed to recording of advertisement for ██████ brand food processor voiced by SCP-661.
+Result: Despite having had no previous interest in cookery, D-606955 expressed a desire to purchase the food processor. When asked why, he claimed it seemed like a good deal, and might make a good present for his mother.
+
Test 661-1: Subject politely asked to demonstrate powers of persuasion.
+Result: Subject claimed to have no knowledge of stated powers and asked for his lawyer.
+
Test 661-2: Subject ordered to demonstrate powers.
+Result: Subject refused and again claimed ignorance of powers. When further pressed he told researcher "You want to not hold me here, you want to not experiment on me." The researcher then requested cessation of the test and suggested the release of SCP-661. He was subsequently reassigned.
+
Test 661-3: D-965215 introduced into SCP-661’s cell. D-965215 has a history of violent crime, and was told to get SCP-661 to demonstrate his power by any means necessary.
+Result: Following an exchange described by researchers as abrasive, D-965215 assaulted SCP-661. SCP-661 stated “You want to not hurt me”. D-965215 immediately ceased attack and was removed from the cell.
+
Test 661-4: D-161709 ordered to attack SCP-661 or face termination.
+Result: Upon commencement of attack by D-161709, SCP-661 stated "You want not to hurt me". D-161709 continued attack. Video and audio logs indicate that D-161709 was exhibiting extreme stress, and repeatedly apologised to SCP-661 while expressing a desire not to be terminated. SCP-661 then stated "You want to die", at which point D-161709 ceased his assault and attempted to escape the cell by attacking the guard at the door; he was subsequently terminated.
+
Test 661-5: D-313217 ordered to attack SCP-661 or face termination. D-313217 is unable to speak or understand English.
+Result: SCP-661 attempted use of various phrases to prevent attack but was unsuccessful. Attack lasted four minutes before D-313217 was restrained, after which SCP-661 was observed to be visibly shaken. Testing suspended until further notice.
+
Addendum 661-3: Requests by SCP-661
+
-"Let me out." (Denied)
+-"No, really. Let me out." (Denied)
+-"This isn't funny. Let me out!" (Denied)
+-"I demand to be released! I'm a US citizen! You can't do this to me!" (Denied)
+-One (1) box of Havana Limited Special Edition Cuban Cigars ($2,012 in USD) (Denied)
+-One (1) box of Miami Coast Cigars ($299 in USD) (Denied)
+-One (1) box of "generic crap cigars" [sic]. (Denied)
+-One (1) pack of cigarettes. (Denied)
+-One (1) pack of Nicotine chews. (Approved) ~ Seriously, people. As funny as it is watching him beg, addiction is no small matter. -Dr. ██████
+-A computer with internet access (Denied)
+-A computer (Denied)
+-Television with cable (Denied)
+-Television capable of playing digital or analog recordings (Denied)
+-Books written since confinement (Denied)
+-Books published prior to confinement (Approved) ~ Human beings need SOME entertainment to maintain sanity. - Dr. ██████
+-CD player (Approved) ~ Since he can't read, at least give him a non-record capable music device. - Dr. ██████
+-Writing utensils and a pad (Denied) ~ —Risk of attempts to use power through written materials. Has not been performed as of yet, but still might be within subject's power range. Dr. ██████.
+Addendum: — There is no evidence or reason to believe SCP-661’s power can extend to written objects. However, this request remains denied for security reasons. Agent ██████.
+
Due to the backlog of requests, Dr. ██████ has been forced to ask other personnel to assist him in processing SCP-661's requests.
+
Requests not processed by Dr. ██████:
+-One (1) Leather Jacket (Denied. Subject placed into Restraint Jacket instead.)
+-"Tacos". (Denied. Subject given burrito instead.)
+-One (1) CD of "The Best of Led Zeppelin" (Denied. Subject given a CD of The Monkees.)
+-"████. It ███████ reeks in here. Open a god████ window or something". (Denied. Officer ██████ passed flatulence in cell instead.)
+-"A spot of sun". (Denied. Officer ██████ shined a flashlight in his face for 10 minutes.)
+-One (1) Baconator cheeseburger from Wendy's (Denied. Subject was given one (1) Boca brand soy burger instead.)
+-One (1) pair of Aviator-brand Sunglasses (Denied. Lights turned off in room.)
+-One (1) 'Pepsi' brand soft drink (Denied. Given one (1) can of 'Coca-Cola' brand soft drink as a suitable replacement. After recovering from concussion, Dr. █████ was reassigned to a non-sentient SCP.)
+
Gentlemen, seriously. As abrasive and rude as SCP-661 is, he is still a sentient SCP and should be afforded some level of respect. I don't care what he does, events like the above will not be tolerated.
+-Dr. ███████
Special Containment Procedures: As of 3/12/2017 SCP-6639-1 has been allowed to resume his voyages under the condition that he follows predesignated routes until reaching SCP-6639-A. Additionally, a small research crew consisting of trained personnel must be allowed to travel onboard each voyage. The Foundation has established a trading relationship with the society from which SCP-6639-1 for further information see the relevant file.
+
Description: SCP-6639 is a whaling ship composed entirely of organic matter. The exact composition of SCP-6639 is the tissues of several organisms native to SCP-6639-A including bones, muscles, various internal organs, and chitinous plates among other biological material. SCP-6639 appears to have been artificially created from these tissues using a combination of anomalous and non-anomalous methods. The structure of SCP-6639 is similar to common seafaring vessels. Notable deviations from this include the lack of quarters for more than one person and the engine room.
+
SCP-6639's engine is a complex, anomalous organism, which powers almost all operations on the ship via the processing and redirection of anomalous, energy-dense pus (referred to by SCP-6639-1 as "bilegris") found naturally on the blisters that naturally occur on some of the aquatic megafauna native to SCP-6639-A. Some of the ship's more exotic functions, such as weaponry, have smaller, dedicated engines to power them. These weapons, like the rest of SCP-6639, are composed of organic matter, or in a few instances, are separate genetically modified organisms. Most of these weapons exist to facilitate the hunting of megafauna on SCP-6639-A
+
SCP-6639-A:
+SCP-6639-A is an extradimensional space accessible by space-time distortions created by some lifeforms within it as well as some Foundation technology (████████). SCP-6639-A consists of a vast, potentially infinite, ocean composed of various human bodily fluids, primarily bile. This expanse is interrupted only by islands, which are home to the native animal life of SCP-6639-A. The entirety of SCP-6639-A is completely devoid of plant life, with all native species being either animals or microbes. These lifeforms often display atypical traits such as asymmetry, exposed muscular tissue, oozing bodily fluids, and vary highly in size, with the smallest being the size of common earth insects, and the largest being an oceanic megafauna estimated to be approximately 30.3 million km2.
+
The most notable lifeforms on SCP-6639-A are the large quantity of oceanic megafauna present on SCP-6639-A. Many of these megafaunas are hunted by the native societies in SCP-6639-A which are highly dependent on the energy-dense pus present in blisters on these megafaunas, as well as utilizing the tissues for a multitude of purposes. The vast majority of oceanic megafauna also possess unique anomalous properties.
+
There are several human societies native to SCP-6639-A situated on some of the larger islands. These societies are very dependent on the high-energy pus produced by various megafauna. This pus, along with the other components are gathered by a profession of people referred to as "whalers", whalers such as SCP-6639-1 pilot vessels similar to SCP-6639.
+
SCP-6639-1:
+SCP-6639-1 is an adult human male roughly 57 years old and 190 cm in height, originating from SCP-6639-A referred to as Antek Darga. SCP-6639-1 possesses no anomalous characteristics, save for his connection to SCP-6639. SCP-6639-1's only apparent anomalous attribute is that he appears to be capable of telepathically operating SCP-6639 through a one-way link. SCP-6639-1 works as a Whaler regularly hunting various megafauna within SCP-6639-A. SCP-6639-1 was accidentally relocated from his home dimension by a member of a previously unknown megafauna species.
+
Addendum 6639-1: Discovery
+SCP-6639 was initially discovered on 03/17/2021 by Foundation satellite imaging detecting an unknown vessel in international waters emitting a bright red light. Imaging revealed the entirely organic nature of SCP-6639 and a small task force was dispatched. Upon reaching the vessel, the red light was determined to be a distress beacon, activated by SCP-6639-1. SCP-6639 and SCP-6639-1 were both quickly brought into custody. SCP-6639 was held at a foundation dock while SCP-6639-1 was contained in a standard humanoid containment cell. After approximately two weeks in custody, SCP-6639-1 accepted an interview.
+
Addendum 6639-2: Interview Log
+
+
Interviewed: SCP-6639-1
+
Interviewer: Dr. Johnathan Michaels
+
Foreword: This interview was conducted on 04/1/2021
+
Note: This interview was conducted in Polish but has been translated to English.
+<Begin Log>
+
Dr. Michaels: Hello SCP-6639-1. Thank you for agreeing to this interview.
+
SCP-6639-1: Of course. Please, call me Antek.
+
Dr. Michaels: I'm afraid that's against protocol, you may discuss such arrangements at a later date.
+
SCP-6639-1: You mean Roza. She's beautiful, isn't she, the best whaling ship I'd ever piloted. two feet of chitin plating, top-of-the-line engine, and the highest quality kosharpun I've ever had the pleasure of firing!
+
Dr. Michaels: So you were a whaler then?
+
SCP-6639-1: Indeed. Been a whaler for nearly 40 years now, nothing quite like it.
+
Dr. Michaels: Why would you need such a vessel for whale hunting. I can't imagine that you would need two feet of armored plating to hunt a whale.
+
At this point SCP-6639-1 laughs loudly and suddenly.
+
SCP-6639-1: I suppose that here whaling is not as much of a dangerous profession then!
+
Dr. Michaels: What do you mean by that?
+
SCP-6639-1: I guess not then. Where I come from whaling is the most dangerous job one can have! Whales are huge titans of twisted flesh and bone, organic giants that can span many leagues in all directions. It was one of them that stranded them here.
+
Dr. Michaels: Where precisely are you from SCP-6639-1?
+
SCP-6639-1: Earth. Or I suppose a section of it. Where I come from everything is made of meat and bone. Islands of flesh on an endless yellow sea, seated on the largest of the islands is the shining jewel of our nation. The port of Tlusch of the nation of Misaato. We are reliant on our whalers, they hunt the materials they gather are used for construction, technology, power.
+
Dr. Michaels: You mentioned a nation, are there more people like you?
+
SCP-6639-1: Of course, last I knew we have nearly 40 ports spread over numerous islands, each one a thriving city.
+
Dr. Michaels: How did you come to our reality?
+
SCP-6639-1 frowns.
+
SCP-6639-1: It was just supposed to be another hunt. I had heard stories of course. The serpent-fish, it was called. One of the strangest whales ever spotted. It was said to appear and disappear at random. I figured it was just fast! I didn't expect
+
SCP-6639-1 gestures wildly in the air
+
all this. It had some, way, of stretching the area around it. One moment, I was on its tail, the next, I was here.
+
Dr. Michaels: Thank you for your cooperation SCP-6639-1, we'll be speaking again soon.
+
SCP-6639-1: I see, I don't suppose you would have a way of bringing me back, would you.
+
<End Log>
+
Closing Statement: Following this interview several more were conducted to ascertain the precise nature of the reality SCP-6639-1 originates from. On 8/10/2021, it was determined that the Foundation would utilize portal technology to allow SCP-6639-1 to continue his hunts, so long as he allowed a Mobile Task Force and a small number of researchers to accompany him. To see a transcription of the first of these hunts see Addendum 6639-3.
+
+
Addendum 6639-3: Expedition Log
+
+
Expedition Log Transcript
+
Date:08/28/2021
+
Expedition Team: MTF Gamma-6 ("Deep Feeders")
+
Team Lead: G6-Cap
+
Team Members: G6-Alpha/G6-Bravo/G6-Charlie
+
Notes:As this was the first expedition into SCP-6639-A researchers were not sent in addition to Gamma-6. Additionally, SCP-6639-1 agreed to be fitted with a microphone, and an automatic translator to allow smooth communication between him and Gamma-6.
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Video feed opens onboard SCP-6639's deck, which is covered in a smooth chitinous surface. The ship is situated approximately two leagues out from the Foundation dock from which it was located.
+
G6-Cap: This is G6-Cap. Check.
+
G6-Alpha: This is G6-Alpha. Check.
+
G6-Beta: This is G6-Beta. Check.
+
G6-Charlie: This is G6-Charlie. Check… Antek.
+
SCP-6639-1: Ah, yes. This is Antek.
+
Command: All clear, opening rift now.
+
A loud thrumming noise is heard as a Foundation satellite array activates. After a few seconds, a space-time aperture slightly larger than SCP-6639 opens in front of the ship, leading into SCP-6639-A.
+
Command: Rift is stable. You may proceed.
+
The ship begins to accelerate into the rift.
+
G6-Beta: Here we go.
+
The ship passes through the rift into SCP-6639-A. The sky is pale red in color. A yellow sea stretches in all directions, a few red islands dot the horizon SCP-6639-1 travels below deck.
+
SCP-6639-1: Wait here.
+
After a few minutes SCP-6639-1 returns from below deck carrying what appears to be five harpoon guns composed entirely out of flesh and bone.
+
SCP-6639-1: Take these.
+
SCP-6639-A distributes the weapons to Gamma-6.
+
G6-Charlie: Command?
+
Command: Should be safe, feel free.
+
Gamma-6 accepts the weapons.
+
G6-Alpha: So, uh, Antek what exactly are we looking for.
+
SCP-6639-1: A whale, probably a breacher1 or a splicer2, don't want to hunt anything too extreme on your first time out.
+
G6-Cap: This ain't our first rodeo, no need to go easy on us.
+
SCP-6639-1 appears to spot something in the distance and smirks.
+
SCP-6639-1: Don't say I didn't warn you then.
+
The ship sharply veers right and rapidly accelerates.
In the distance a large shape is seen moving underwater.
+
G6-Cap: This what we're after Command.
+
Command: Affirmative.
+
As the ship approaches, the creature comes into full view. Estimated to be approximately two and a half times larger than a blue whale, the creature appears to be a large flatfish similar in shape to an oversized flounder with its skull entirely unprotected. It has no scales, and its muscle tissue is completely exposed. Bones jut out at odd angles from its back. Rather than fins, it appears to propel itself with large paddles composed of bone one attached to each side of its body. SCP-6639-1 slams his foot on the deck towards the front of the ship and the chitin plate covering the front of the deck recedes. A large cannon emerges from the now exposed deck. Walls extend in a shield from around it, protecting the front of the ship, the barrel is composed out of an unknown, hard yellow substance, a single large white spike protrudes from the front.
+
SCP-6639-1: Prepare yourself.
+
A large boom emanates from the barrel of the cannon, as the spike launches itself at supersonic speed towards the entity. The projectile rips a hole straight through the entity's body. A loud gurgling roar is heard from beneath the ocean surface. The entity's back breaches the surface, and it fires a volley of bone spikes from its back. Most of these spikes are stopped by the shield, but a few pierce through.
+
SCP-6639-1: What are you standing around for. Go!
+
G6-Cap: Right, let's do this boys!
+
The members of Gamma-6 spread out across the deck attempting to find vantage points to attack the entity from. G6-Charlie manages to successfully fire at the creature. The projectile fired from the harpoon gun makes a shrieking noise as it speeds towards its target. The entity fires a plate of bone from its back, intercepting the projectile in midair, which explodes. The other members of G6 appear to be having similar issues, their attacks being intercepted midair.
+
G6-Cap: This doesn't seem to be working.
+
G6-Charlie: How can this thing see us, it's facing the other direction.
+
SCP-6639-1: Look closer at its face.
+
G6-Alpha: Why, what are we looking at?
+
G6-Beta: Wait a minute, where are its eyes?
+
SCP-6639-1 fires again, this time a large blade-like projectile, which shears off a large chunk of flesh. The entity roars, and the sheared off flesh is revealed to be an eyelid, revealing a gigantic, black, eye.
+
G6-Beta: What the fuck.
+
G6-Cap runs towards the front of the deck and tosses an explosive device at the eye of the entity. On impact, it explodes annihilating the eye.
+
G6-Cap: Bullseye!
+
The creature roars and begins to shake, rapidly dispelling hundreds of bone projectiles from its back, many of which pierce the shield of SCP-6639. G6-Alpha's shoulder is hit by one of these projectiles.
+
G6-Alpha: I've been hit, doubt I'll be able to finish this fight.
+
G6-Cap: Antek, what the hell is that thing doing.
+
SCP-6639-1: Last resort, it knows it can't win, but maybe it can bring us down with it. But it can't.
+
SCP-6639-1 draws a sidearm from its jacket, superficially resembling a pistol, he aims it at the entity and pulls the trigger. A thunderclap sounds and thousands of lacerations appear on the creature's back, the pistol is annihilated in the process. The creature groans and begins to sink. SCP-6639-1 runs to the cannon at the front of the deck and fires a large, barbed harpoon attached to a chain at the corpse, pulling it to the surface.
+
SCP-6639-1 grins
+
G6-Cap: Good job team.
+
<End Log>
+
Closing Statement: Following the expedition Gamma-6 returned via rift to baseline reality, G6-Alpha was treated for his wounds and made a full recovery. SCP-6639-1 was later established as a liaison between the society within SCP-6639-A and the Foundation, establishing their current trade relationship
Special Containment Procedures: If SCP-6643 is present, an esoteric materials handling incident is underway. Addressing said incident constitutes containment of SCP-6643. In the interim, personnel are advised to avoid contact with this subject.
+
Acroamatic abatement personnel are encouraged to theorize on the origins of SCP-6643 to enable more proactive containment measures..Gleipnir-class anomalies defy standard categorization, posing dynamic containment challenges.
+
+
Description: SCP-6643 is an orange ectoplasmic pseudopod manifesting during any and all containment failures relating to the process of acroamatic abatement — the neutralization of anomalous byproducts — with both mass and activity level scaling to the incident's severity. Assessments of its cause, composition and potential cognizance are difficult due to the extrinsic urgency of its manifestation conditions, and the fact that no specimen has yet persisted beyond its triggering event.
+
Acroamatic abatement experts have colloquially termed this entity 'Verne'.
+
+
Addendum 6643-1, Phenomenological Overview: The first recorded manifestation of SCP-6643 occurred at the headquarters of the Foundation-affiliated Acroamatic Abatement Group (AAG) in 1921, what is today Treatment Area-21. Researchers were disposing of a large quantity of anomalous sulfur mustard ('mustard gas') created by scientist Frederick Banting and enriched with thaumaturgic thickening particles imparting a resistance to changes in wind direction. A former Foundation researcher, Banting had developed this new compound in tandem with the Canadian federal government for use in the First World War. The 1918 Armistice occurred before it could be deployed, and Banting reluctantly released it to the AAG for abatement. An undocumented corrosive quality led to containment breach, and the facility's ground level became flooded. Staff avoided chemical burns by retreating to raised gantries while emergency ventilation systems absorbed the low-settling cloud. During the twenty minutes between the beginning and end of this process, personnel observed SCP-6643 exploring the facility and manipulating various pieces of equipment. On-site security equipped with protective gear were able to photograph the entity before ventilation completed, at which point it immediately disappeared.
+
+
+
First manifestation of SCP-6643 at Area-21.
+
+
+
Area-21 Director Dr. Wynn Rydderech observed:
+
+
I had the distinct impression it was searching for something. Some of my staff think it was seeking out the overflow release; they're divided on whether it was trying to keep us from suctioning off the gas, or trying to help the process along. The fact that it vanished as soon as the floor was clear supports either conclusion in equal measure, unfortunately.
+
+
+
+
SCP-6643 manifesting on a microscope slide.
+
+
+
The early years of the Foundation's acroamatic abatement project were rife with accidents, mostly minor, some major. It was soon determined that the conditions for SCP-6643 manifestation were exceptionally loose; even the most harmless release of esoteric vapours from containment could cause its appearance, if only in microscopic form.
+
Its behaviour remained inscrutable. On some occasions it interacted with the esoteric discharge, while on others it focused on containment apparatus or pursued no clear goal at all. In no occurrence were on-site personnel able to locate the physical origin point of the pseudopod, and in any case interaction with the anomaly was discouraged due to its unclear motivations and disposition.
+
During a containment breach at Site-43 which nearly killed Dr. Rydderech, SCP-6643 was seen to absorb harmful effluents in the air. This expedited Dr. Rydderech's extraction. Observing researcher Dr. Izaak Okorie speculated:
+
+
I know how this sounds, but I legitimately do think it was trying to help him. It was snapping this way and that, sucking in the effluvium. The motions of the tentacle were also circulating the air, even though we'd cut the flow off, and that in turn kept the stuff from sinking to the floor where Dr. Rydderech was lying prone. I don't think he would have made it out, had Verne not appeared. I realize we don't make directed use of anomalies, but it almost feels like this is an inbuilt defense mechanism against really harmful mishaps. I won't speculate beyond my security clearance level, of course, but… I wouldn't be surprised to learn we'd developed this thing to help us.
+
+
This theory received the dubious honour of falsification — the only such case on record — during the single worst disaster in the history of acroamatic abatement. Incident AAF-D-117 at Site-43 in 2002 involved the near-total loss of the Foundation's largest esoteric waste refinery in a cascade overflow scenario. This induced manifestation of the largest attested specimen of SCP-6643, which grasped Junior Researcher Reuben Wirth and pulled him into the breached facility where he presumably met his demise.
+
+
+
SCP-6643 during a containment breach at Site-43.
+
+
+
Due to the counterchronological material involved in this incident — now classified SCP-5243 — it recurs each calendar year and performs this action again.
+
Dr. Adrijan Zlatá proposed an alternate theory while Site-43's Chief of Applied Occultism in 2005:
+
+
Maybe we've been going at this all wrong. Maybe it's neither a pre-existing entity nor some inherent component of handling disasters. It might instead be an essophysical embodiment of the concept of catastrophe; a reification of the chaos inherent to such events. It's possible that we'd see it cropping up in disasters of every sort, if more disasters involved esoteric materials. The kind of stuff we work on at AcroAbate might provide all the fuel it needs to manifest, whereas in your bog-standard earthquake or volcano eruption or firestorm, it lurks invisibly at the conceptual threshold.
+
+
Dr. Zlatá's essentially unfalsifiable suggestion was unpopular with his colleagues, and he was unable to acquire evidence to prove it before his death in an SCP-5243 event in 2015. Though subsequently resurrected in quintuplicate — also in an SCP-5243 event — each iteration of Dr. Zlatá has strenuously declined to further explore anomalies of this nature.
+
In 1995, acroamatic abatement engineer M'buka Rainier conducted a closed experiment in a series of disused refinery tunnels associated with Site-91. Tubing seeded with denatured recondite material — harmless, but resistant to containment within Euclidean geometry — generated the equivalent of an ongoing materials breach to which SCP-6643 immediately responded. The entity explored the tunnels for approximately one hour before vanishing, the only known case where it abandoned its efforts before the situation was fully resolved.
+
+
+
SCP-6643 at Site-91.
+
+
+
Engineer Rainier was pleased with the results of this experiment:
+
+
Now we know it definitely wants something, and it's definitely possessed of some form of sentience. Either it's trying to determine whether or not a leak is legitimate, and it took off because this one wasn't; or it's trying to use the leaking material to achieve some obscure purpose, and determined that this slow leak wasn't going to get it there. Sure, it'd be lovely if those weren't diametrically opposed theories, but we take what we can get.
+
+
Further proposed theories on the origin of SCP-6643 include:
+
+
Each manifestation is a different appendage for an extradimensional cephalopod or eukaryotic cell;
+
Each manifestation represents the Serpent of the Wanderers' Library reaching into baseline reality, searching for occult knowledge;
+
Each manifestation is the same time-lost entity orienting itself chronologically via events with high concentrations of anachronic particles, as occur in esoteric materials breaches;
+
Each manifestation is the same manifestation, and differences in its activity can be attributed to alterations in the shape of space-time in the interim.
+
+
Site-43's present Chief of Applied Occultism, Dr. Udo Okorie, made the following remarks at the AAG's annual gala in Vienna on 22 April 2022:
+
+
I can think of no compelling reason, beyond departmental tradition, to suggest that these occurrences represent sightings of a single persistent entity. I am equally unconvinced that the answer to this conundrum is so narratively appealing as 'they want to help us' or 'it's Cthulhu looking for dinner' or 'it's a wacky time travel thing'. Everyone has their pet explanation, and I'm not innocent; I sometimes like to think that what we're seeing is the anomalous equivalent to carcinization, wherein nature repeatedly attempts to evolve things into crabs. 6643 is just paranature trying, in magic-rich environments, to evolve a spectral octopus. Call it 'tendrilization', if you like.
+
But I have to admit… I'll be more than a little miffed if I turn out to be correct. If that's the explanation we've been waiting for, all these years. Any explanation is going to be something of an anticlimax, isn't it? Unless it's something truly spectacular, and experience tells me that's not often how reality works.
+
Every researcher at the AAG saw this thing, 'Verne', the first time it appeared. That means everyone who's ever worked in AcroAbate has known about it, has thought about it, has wondered where it came from and what it wants. It was an unsolved problem when Rydderech disappeared in '66. It was an unsolved problem when I started back in 2001. It might still be an unsolved problem when I'm gone.
+
If it's not, if we finally figure it out, I'll be ecstatic. It's a puzzle, an enigma, and the scientific process exists to identify, work through, and clear those up wherever possible. If I'm around to see the end to this one, I'll either drink a toast to whoever solved the mystery or take a deep bow myself.
+
And in either case I will nevertheless be very, very deeply, disappointed.
The exterior of Provisional Outpost-7089 on 18th June 2028.
+
+
+
SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES:
+Per protocol, Provisional Outpost-7089 is to be maintained by agents as an operational self-storage facility in order to mask on-site Foundation activities. The wing containing SCP-7089 is to remain closed to civilian clients under the cover of "long term refurbishment". As all non-anomalous storage units have been removed from the wing, the resultant space is to serve as an operations and living complex for on-site personnel.
+
SCP-7089's exterior is to be monitored via closed circuit camera surveillance in case of unauthorised civilian access. SCP-7089-1 is to be assigned a rotating guard detail at all times to accompany any research expedition and provide an immediate response to any alteration to the interior space.
+
Any proposed test involving SCP-7089 must be signed off on by the research lead, Dr. Frederick Munroe, then approved by Site-44 Director Carter before any action is taken.
+
DESCRIPTION:
+SCP-7089 is a personal storage unit (number 7089) with an external footprint of 25 square feet, built into the ████ ████ Self Storage facility - hereafter referred to as Provisional Outpost-7089 - in ████████, Yorkshire, England. The interior of SCP-7089 exhibits an acute spatial anomaly wherein its size is many times larger than the exterior. Educated estimates place its size at roughly 140 square miles. As the interior layout changes regularly and does not correspond to linear spatial limitations, this value is subject to ongoing reassessment.
+
The interior of SCP-7089 - hereafter referred to as SCP-7089-1 - contains a storage facility of similar design to the external complex, though a lack of additional decoration and presence of reinforced internal structure and cutting edge [REDACTED] indicate its purpose for either private or military usage, rather than civilian.
+
+
RECOVERY LOG 7089:
+SCP-7089 came to Foundation attention on 14th May 2028, following the filing of five (5) missing persons reports in connection with staff and clients of what would become Provisional Outpost-7089, then a privately owned self storage facility. Shortly after this, assets based out of Site-44 bought the facility via a shell company and dispatched first response MTF Psi-42 ("Misfits") to investigate.
+
Following contact with SCP-7089 and confirmation of its spatial anomaly, Psi-42 received clearance to enter SCP-7089-1 for the purpose of recon.
+
+
Log No. Psi-42/7089
+Date/Time: 15th May 2028 - 1325 Local Time
Further Information: Agents on-site were monitored from a surveillance van outside the structure, and from Site-44 by Psi-42 Commander Haley "Hammer" Wilson, who had been unable to lead the operation due to routine medical exams. Agent Wilson requested a line of communication be kept open.
+
+
[Transcript begins.]
+
Psi-42 have been inside SCP-7089-1 for ten (10) minutes. Agent Omen's body camera turns a corner to a hall of storage units similar to previous halls.
+
Omen: Geez, this place goes on forever. You reckon we're past the city limits, yet?
+
Tyke: Eyes forward, Omen.
+
Omen: Right, right…
+
Two (2) seconds of silence.
+
Tyke: …And no, not quite yet.
+
Light chuckling can be heard between agents. Agent Tyke can be heard sighing.
+
Tyke: Alright, alright. Command, you still reading us?
+
Hammer (via radio): We hear you loud and clear. I'm being told it's spooky how well we can make you out.
+
Wiz: What's the catch?
+
Hammer (via radio): None yet, but that means jack shit.
+
Omen: Wanna bet something's using the great reception to lure hapless shits in?
+
Noble: If it's another slimey, tentacled rat-bastard I swear to God…
+
Tyke: I'm gonna try my luck on that.
+
Hammer (via radio): Noted. Keep your eyes open.
+
Tyke: Roger, ma'am.
+
Agents proceed further into SCP-7089-1. This transcript omits six (6) minutes of footage for brevity, during which time nothing of note is recorded.
+
Noble: Shit…
+
Tyke: Do I wanna know?
+
Agent Noble's body camera is facing a storage unit. The number above its door reads 2743.
+
Noble: I've seen that number before.
+
Two (2) seconds of silence. Agent Tyke can be heard humming.
+
Tyke: Come again, Noble? Where?
+
Noble: There! I mean, uh…
+
Wiz: …Don't tell me, you saw it earlier?
+
Noble: Just after we came in, above the same door.
+
Agent Noble turns. Their body camera shows three (3) units reading 7383, 134 and 1332.
+
Noble: Those ones, too.
+
Omen: Wish my memory was that good…
+
Wiz: No pattern to them to notice. Weren't we going straight?
+
Muttering can be heard between agents.
+
Tyke: …Crap. Hammer? We're being looped around! Probably some sort of closed space.
+
Hammer (via radio): Knew it was too good to be true. Noble said she saw this place just after you came in. Can you see the exit from here?
+
Wiz: I see it, ma'am.
+
Agent Wiz's body camera shows the open unit door the agents entered through approximately 45 meters away. The hall of the non-anomalous self-storage facility is visible beyond it.
+
Tyke: Not trapped, then, unless this place is playing for giggles.
+
Hammer (via radio): Never know what's gonna happen with a non-linear like this.
+
Tyke: Ma'am?
+
Hammer (via radio): Pull out, Tyke. We can come back with proper mapping tech and save a load of hassle.
+
Tyke: Roger. Alright, folks, let's get gone. No sense getting lost when we're so close… to… Wait.
+
Agent Tyke trails off. Both her body camera and others' record her staring wide-eyed at a storage unit.
+
Tyke: What… What the fuck?!
+
Omen: Tyke? You good?
+
Tyke: …Yeah, I… It caught me off guard.
+
Agent Tyke can be seen glancing at the other agents.
+
Tyke: Please tell me you're all seeing this?
+
Agents Omen, Wiz and Noble turn toward the storage unit.
+
Wiz: Not sure what I'm looking for, boss.
+
Tyke: The number above the door, Wiz.
+
Hammer (via radio): I can't make it out from here, Tyke. What's—
+
Agent Hammer is cut off by Agent Noble.
+
Noble: Oh. Oh! That's, uh…
+
Wiz: More than a little invasive, yeah? But since when have these things ever cared for boundaries?
+
Omen: Too much to hope it's just a shitty coincidence, right?
+
Hammer (via radio): Tyke, either get the heck out of there or get closer! I can't see what you're looking at.
+
Agent Tyke moves closer to the unit. The numbers above it come into focus, reading 060699. Agent Hammer can be heard cursing (specifics unintelligible).
+
Hammer (via radio): …Ah.
+
Tyke: That's my fucking birthday, ma'am.
+
Hammer (via radio): I'm well aware. Non-Euclidean and telepathic. Command's gonna love this…
+
Tyke: We still pulling out?
+
Hammer (via radio): I'd say yes, but given the implied intelligence I think the researchers will to want a threat assessment before they go poking about in there.
+
Tyke: Not exactly ideal.
+
Hammer (via radio): When is it ever?
+
Tyke: Alright, alright… Noble, Wiz. Either side of the door. If it's angry or has teeth, fill it with lead.
+
Agents Noble and Wiz can be seen to nod, moving to flanking positions on either side of Unit 060699.
+
Tyke: Omen, with me.
+
Omen: Of course we're opening the damn thing. It's only asked for you personally, at this point…
+
Tyke: Better us than another poor sod, right?
+
Agent Tyke moves to the unit door, grasping the handle. Post-mission audio analysis registers the sound of a lock turning. Agents Omen, Noble and Wiz can be seen raising their firearms to ready positions.
+
Tyke: You got my back?
+
Omen: Always.
+
Agent Tyke can be heard taking a breath and counting back from five (5) seconds before pushing the unit door upwards. She takes six (6) steps backwards as it opens, raising her firearm. All body cameras take a moment to adjust to the limited light levels inside of the unit. Agent Noble can be heard gasping.
+
Noble: …Shit.
+
Agent Tyke lowers her weapon.
+
Tyke: Keep on alert, but… Maybe try not to look so threatening?
+
Hammer (via radio): Tyke, report! What is it?
+
Tyke: Not what, ma'am. Who.
+
Agent Wiz's body camera adjusts to the lack of light. A pile of three (3) unmarked cardboard boxes are visible. Five (5) human figures are huddled together next to them.
+
Omen: …People.
+
[Transcript ends.]
+
+
Mission Debriefing: On recovery, the individuals inside Unit 060699 were identified as accounting for all staff and client disappearances. After a full medical check-up, all were determined to be in perfect health with no lasting issues barring minor disorientation. As they lacked clear memories of the time between disappearance and recovery, minor Class B amnestics were administered.
+
The boxes recovered contained photographs identified by Agent Tucker as being from a family collection of her grandmother's.1 The photographs appeared to lack anomalous properties. An appeal by Agent Hammer to release them to Agent Tucker is pending approval has been denied.
+
+
Following Psi-42's expedition, a long-term research group was assigned to Provisional Outpost-7089 to investigate SCP-7089-1. Psi-42 would remain on-site as support.
+
It was observed at this time that the unit number above the exterior door of SCP-7089 matched the number automatically assigned to it by the Foundation database. No evidence of tampering was detected.
+
+
Date: 19th May 2028
+
Sender: Haley "Hammer" Wilson (Commander, MTF Psi-42)
+Recipient: Dr. Frederick Munroe (Research Lead, PO-7089)
+
Clearance: Level 2
+
+
I'd like it on record that if this box is precognitive also, it probably knew we were going to find it. I'm happy to help you prod at the thing, but God help us if it's peeked into the future and decides it doesn't like our MO.
+
+
Construction of on-site containment facilities would be completed on 21st May 2028. On the same day, Provisional Outpost-7089 lead researcher Dr. Frederick Munroe would set testing parameters for SCP-7089.
+
+
Log No. 7089/210528
+Date/Time: 21st May 2028 - 0945 Local Time
+
Involved Agents:
+Dr. Frederick Munroe (Research Lead, PO-7089)
+Haley "Hammer" Wilson (Commander, MTF Psi-42)
+Sarah "Tyke" Tucker (2IC, MTF Psi-42)
+
Further Information: Agents are gathered in Dr. Munroe's recently renovated on-site office, publicly belonging to the facility manager. Conversation has been going for three (3) minutes. This recording is audio only.
+
+
[Transcript begins.]
+
Munroe: Agent Tucker, how would you describe your experience inside the anomaly?
+
Tyke: Disconcerting, sir, but hardly the weirdest thing I've seen.
+
Munroe: Quite. Your assessment, Commander Wilson?
+
Hammer: Whatever intelligence is running the place seems benign, but we shouldn't assume shit about anything, really.
+
Commander Wilson coughs. Dr. Munroe can be heard sifting through papers.
+
Hammer: Ideally, we need a plan.
+
Munroe: Several plans, I think. We're to take it one question at a time.
+
Tyke: Such as, sir?
+
Dr. Munroe can be heard rising from his chair. The sound of footsteps follows, then a dry marker pen on a whiteboard.
+
Munroe: Let's just start with one for now. We'll work from there. First off, intelligence!
+
Hammer: How smart it is.
+
Tyke: Or whether it means us harm?
+
Munroe: More the former, but if it's playing the long game to lure us, we need to know that as well.
+
Dr. Munroe can be heard returning to his seat.
+
Munroe: Also whether we're dealing with a genuine telepathic or precognitive entity. If we are, this first round of tests should determine that, as well.
+
Hammer: If that's the angle we're going for, then I might have a couple suggestions.
+
[Transcript ends.]
+
+
.
+
EXPERIMENT LOG 7089-A:
+The first formal tests with SCP-7089 commenced on 22nd May 2028, focused on establishing a baseline for the level and manner of intelligence governing SCP-7089-1. These tests were also designed to determine whether the intelligence truly possessed telepathic, precognitive or any other form of pseudo-communicative psychic ability.
+
+
+
Test No.
+
Date
+
Test Details
+
Result
+
+
+
#7089.1
+
22/05/2028
+
Dr. Munroe, accompanied by Agent Tyke, enters SCP-7089 while imagining a number (4373).
+
Unit 4373 encountered. Tyke fails to force entry. Dr. Munroe opens the unit on his first attempt. One (1) copy of The Road2 recovered, which Munroe reports as a favourite of his.
+
+
+
#7089.2
+
23/05/2028
+
Agent Noble, accompanied by Dr. Munroe, enters picturing her preferred alcoholic beverage (sloe gin).
+
Unit ████████ (Noble's service number) encountered. One (1) full crate of ████████-brand sloe gin recovered. It is immediately confiscated.
+
+
+
#7089.3
+
25/05/2028
+
Researcher Townes enters, accompanied by Agent Wiz. Dr. Munroe has written a number sequence (73217.4) and had Wiz place it in Townes' back pocket before the test. Neither Wiz nor Townes are aware of the contents of the sequence and Munroe is off-site on the day of the test.
+
Unit 732174 encountered. One (1) worn-out stuffed animal (elephant) recovered. Townes reports having owned it as a child.
+
+
+
#7089.4
+
26/05/2028
+
Agent Tyke enters, accompanied by Researcher Townes. Tyke is carrying a note written by Dr. Munroe, reading 'Can you understand us?'.
+
Unit 19216 encountered. One (1) disc copy of the film Yes Man (2008) recovered.
+
+
+
Following Test 7089.4, testing was suspended pending a review of SCP-7089's potential sapient awareness.
+
+
Log No. 7089/270528
+Date/Time: 27th May 2028 - 1510 Local Time
+
Involved Agents:
+Dr. Frederick Munroe (Research Lead, PO-7089)
+Haley "Hammer" Wilson (Commander, MTF Psi-42)
+
Further Information: Agents are in Dr. Munroe's office. This recording is audio only.
+
+
[Transcript begins.]
+
Hammer: What were you expecting, exactly?
+
Munroe: Not something so straight forward. Something more abstract or alien. That'd actually be easier to work with, protocols being what they are.
+
Hammer: Says a lot that a simple 'yes' causes us more problems.
+
Munroe: Mostly the paperwork, honestly.
+
Both agents can be heard chuckling.
+
Hammer: Some things never change.
+
Munroe: I'm sensing a nugget of wisdom coming.
+
Hammer can be heard laughing.
+
Hammer: I wish. You just reminded me of someone, there.
+
Munroe: Your grandfather?
+
Hammer: And my mother. After three generations in the organization you start to notice a trend.
+
Munroe: Quite.
+
Two (2) seconds of silence.
+
Munroe: We are going to have to course correct with the testing, it seems, though the aspects of the anomaly I had intended to test next should still hold up.
+
Hammer: Those being?
+
Munroe: Its interior size, first. But after that? Whether it can understand specific concepts.
+
[Transcript ends.]
+
+
.
+
+
+
The primary subject of #7089.6 through 8 prior to testing.
+
+
+
EXPERIMENT LOG 7089-B:
+Testing resumed on 31st May 2028, following Site-44 Director Carter's approval of Dr. Munroe's adjusted approach to questioning. Tests were initially focused on opening a line of communication with SCP-7089 - predominantly to assess potential hostility - through a simple question and answer style of experimentation. When the first of these tests (see #7089.5) proved that SCP-7089 - while capable of being direct - was prone to responding with symbolism or recovered objects, the nature of questions shifted further to accommodate this.
+
An additional line of testing would be carried out in parallel by Researcher Townes on Dr. Munroe's approval. These tests were intended to determine whether objects recovered by SCP-7089 were created for purpose or relocated from elsewhere.
+
+
+
Test No.
+
Date
+
Test Details
+
Result
+
+
+
#7089.5
+
31/05/2028
+
Dr. Munroe, accompanied by Agent Hammer, enters SCP-7089 while imagining a question, 'How big are you?'.
+
Unit 140 encountered. One (1) laminated map of ████████ recovered with SCP-7089's location marked on it. City limits of ████████ recorded as provisional size for SCP-7089-1.
+
+
+
#7089.6
+
02/06/2028
+
Researcher Townes leaves one (1) apple with a blue sticker on it in Dr. Munroe's office, then enters SCP-7089 while picturing it.
+
Unit 116125 encountered. Apple with blue sticker on it recovered. Apple vanished from Dr. Munroe's office the moment Townes entered SCP-7089.
+
+
+
#7089.7
+
03/06/2028
+
Researcher Townes has one (1) apple with a blue sticker on it driven to ████████'s city limits by Psi-42, then enters SCP-7089 while picturing it.
+
Unit 116125 encountered again. Apple with blue sticker on it recovered. Apple vanished from Agent Tyke's hand the moment Townes entered SCP-7089.
+
+
+
#7089.8
+
06/06/2028
+
Researcher Townes has two (2) apples, with a blue and green sticker on them respectively, delivered to Site-44. After confirming their arrival, he enters SCP-7089 while picturing them.
+
Unit 116125 encountered again. Apple with blue sticker recovered, while apple with green sticker is not. Blue apple vanished from the loading dock outside of Site-44 the moment Townes entered SCP-7089, while green apple - in Site-44 biological storage at the time - was still present when checked.
+
+
+
#7089.9
+
07/06/2028
+
Dr. Munroe enters, carrying a note reading 'Who are you?'.
+
Unit 7089 encountered. Set of four (4) crates of contents-coded MRE ration packs recovered. Code numbers are arranged inside the unit to read '7089'.
+
+
+
#7089.10
+
08/06/2028
+
Dr. Munroe enters while imagining a question, 'Do you mean us harm?'.
+
Unit ██████ encountered. Photographic evidence of [REDACTED] recovered. See Incident Report ████/140528, attached below.
+
+
+
#7089.11
+
10/06/2028
+
With approval from Site-12 Director Durrani, Researcher Townes enters SCP-7089 while picturing SCP-1230.
+
Unit 1230 encountered. SCP-1230 not recovered, still on Director Durrani's desk at Site-12 when checked.
+
+
+
#7089.12
+
11/06/2028
+
With approval from Site-12 Director Durrani, Researcher Townes requests SCP-1230 be temporarily moved off-site. Townes enters SCP-7089 while picturing SCP-1230.
+
Unit 1230 encountered again. SCP-1230 recovered and returned to Site-12. 1230 vanished from its off-site storage location the moment Townes entered SCP-7089.
+
+
+
After Test #7089.12, experimentation would again be put on hold as Dr. Munroe - responsible for devising test parameters for SCP-7089 - was called to Site-44 for a quarterly review of his research. The review was without issue and testing was scheduled to resume upon his return to Provisional Outpost-7089 on 15th June 2028.
+
Prior to this, the below described containment breach attempt would occur at Site-44.
+
+
Incident Log No. ████/140528
+Date: 13th June 2028
+
Involved SCP(s): SCP-████
+Key Personnel:
+Site-44 Defence Force (FSDF-44)
+Florence Wing (Asst. Director of Containment, Site-44)
+Dr. Frederick Munroe (Research Lead, PO-7089)
+
+
Incident Summary:
+At 1454 local time, SCP-████ would attempt to breach containment at Site-44 by exploiting an undetected weakness in its containment chamber. Though significant damage was inflicted to the chamber - necessitating extensive repairs and SCP-████'s temporary relocation - a rapid response by the Site-44 Defence Force was successful in recontaining the entity with minimal injuries and zero (0) casualties among personnel.
+
Post-Incident Analysis:
+The neutralisation of SCP-████'s breach was enabled by material recovered in tests performed with SCP-7089 by Dr. Frederick Munroe. During Munroe's quarterly research review, Site-44 Asst. Director of Containment Florence Wing recognized elements in photographs recovered in Test #7089.10 pertaining to [REDACTED], allowing for an accurate prediction of when SCP-████ would attempt to breach containment.
+
This allowed a response force to be prepared twelve (12) hours before the attempt was made.
+
+
Due to the importance of SCP-7089 in detecting a potential containment breach, its Disruption Class would be upgraded from Dark to Vlam as a precaution. Dr. Munroe would return to Provisional Outpost-7089 one (1) day early on 14th June 2028 on the grounds that testing to determine the motives and limitations of SCP-7089 was vital to its containment.
+
+
Date: 15th June 2028
+
Sender: Florence Wing (Asst. Director of Containment, Site-44)
+Recipient: Dr. Frederick Munroe (Research Lead, PO-7089)
+
Clearance: Level 3
+
+
Director Carter has recommended to the O5 Council that we proceed with further testing on SCP-7089 immediately, and so far there's been no stated objections. Given we can now be certain it is - as a baseline - self-aware, precognitive and unable to remove objects from inside Foundation sites, determining further what we can glean from it and what its intentions are must be a priority from here onward.
+
We need to know whether this box is actually trying to ingratiate itself or whether it just wants our guard down. That first kidnapping to get our attention aside, it's done nothing even remotely hostile, and going by your reports on those keepsakes and intel, it's actively attempting to make us like it, the unhelpfulness of its unwillingness to communicate in words aside.
+
Put simply, you have a blank cheque for whatever you need on this one provided you run it by Carter first, though he's probably going to want to write up a few questions of his own.
+
You have our ear on this, Fred. Don't waste it.
+
+
.
+
EXPERIMENT LOG 7089-C:
+Following extended planning, testing with SCP-7089 resumed on 17th June 2028, two (2) days later than originally scheduled. Tests would first consist of a series of questions intended to improve intel regarding SCP-7089, or regarding how SCP-7089 would view itself. After this, the previous lines of research would continue, with a view to understanding what SCP-7089 was and was not capable of.
+
+
+
Test No.
+
Date
+
Test Details
+
Result
+
+
+
#7089.13
+
17/05/2028
+
Dr. Munroe, accompanied by Researcher Townes and Agent Omen, enters SCP-7089 while imagining a question, 'What is your purpose?'.
+
Unit 19216 encountered again. Torn magazine advert depicting a safe bound by large amounts of chains - one of which has a clock hung on it - recovered. A crude sketch of an SRA3 has been drawn in the top left corner of the page.
+
+
+
#7089.14
+
18/05/2028
+
Dr. Munroe enters, accompanied by Agent Tyke. Munroe is carrying a note reading 'Where did you come from?'.
+
Unit 61 encountered. One (1) unlabelled children's mathematics workbook recovered. Passages in the workbook related to addition are underlined.
+
+
+
#7089.15
+
19/05/2028
+
Dr. Munroe enters while imagining a question, 'Do you mean us harm?'.
+
Unit 1415 encountered. Box of ten (10) red velvet cupcakes recovered. Debriefing confirms it to be a favourite of more than half of on-site agents.
+
+
+
#7089.16
+
21/05/2028
+
After receiving approval from Director Carter based on previous evidence of SCP-7089's limitations, Researcher Townes, accompanied by Agents Hammer and Noble, enters carrying a rough sketch of SCP-096.
+
Unit 96 encountered. One (1) thick paper bag recovered. Observation indicates it to be large enough for a person to wear it over their head.
+
+
+
#7089.17
+
22/05/2028 (planned)
+
Researcher Townes, accompanied by Agent Wiz, enters SCP thinking about SCP-682.
+
'Test Denied. You got lucky with 096.'- O5-█.
+
+
+
#7089.18
+
23/05/2028
+
Agent Hammer, accompanied by Dr. Munroe, enters while picturing her grandfather, one Dr. Elliot Wilson.4
+
Unit 1954 encountered. Photograph of Dr. Elliot Wilson and Dr. ██████ Wilson5 recovered. Agent Hammer requests to be excused.
+
+
+
#7089.19
+
24-25/05/2028
+
Dr. Munroe enters SCP-7089, locates a specific unit (Unit 331), and places one (1) sheet of paper with an 'X' drawn on it. He attempts to recover it the following day.
+
Unit 331 encountered. One (1) marked sheet recovered exactly as it was left. Only Munroe is capable of opening Unit 331.
+
+
+
#7089.20
+
26/05/2028
+
Researcher Marlowe, accompanied by Agent Noble, enters while imagining Agent Wiz, at that time eating lunch in the operations room adjacent to SCP-7089.
+
Unit 20 encountered. [REDACTED] recovered. Genetic analysis returns a 100% match for Agent Wiz. Tested material estimated to be roughly a decade older than compared genetic samples factoring in rate of decay. To avoid causing unnecessary distress to Agent Wiz, he is not informed of the result of this test.
+
+
+
Following #7089.20, Agent Wilson would write the following memo:
+
+
Date: 28th June 2028
+
Sender: Haley "Hammer" Wilson (Commander, MTF Psi-42)
+Recipient: Florence Wing (Asst. Director of Containment, Site-44)
+
Clearance: Level 3
+
+
After discussing it at length with Munroe, we are recommending that further scrutiny be given to SCP-7089 and the tests we perform with it before additional actions are taken.
+
Between my gut feeling and the evidence its responses have given us, I have little doubt now that SCP-7089 wants to be on our good side. It wants us to like it, between the shows of good faith, not stealing shit from inside secure facilities - if it even can - and other matters.
+
You know my family history, Wing. What we lost in service. You know what that photograph means to me.
+
What I have doubts of is why it feels the need to ingratiate itself if it knows we don't care. Why it needed our attention in the first place when it could have just as well skirted under the radar. It's sapient, can see the future, pull matter from anywhere - even the future, apparently - like it's nothing, store pretty much anything securely within it and seems to have a mentality designed to be cryptic but fundamentally comprehensible.
+
After the picture of the safe, I'd almost say it wants [REDACTED].
+
+
Testing with SCP-7089 would once again be suspended per Agent Wilson's recommendation, pending another full review of its motives. On 30th June 2028, the O5 Council would convene for a routine meeting, among which SCP-7089 was one (1) subject among a number discussed.
+
+
The following extract has been declassified for personnel of Level 3 or higher.
+
Log No. O5-██████-███/300628
+Date/Time: 30th June 2028 - ████ Local Time
+
Involved:
+Overseer Council (SCP-O5)
+
Further Information: [REDACTED]
+
+
[Transcript begins.]
+
O5-2: Next order of business. SCP-7089.
+
O5-6: That's… the sapient self-storage unit, correct?
+
O5-2: It is, and the testing with it has revealed some… interesting details about it. I assume you've all read the report?
+
O5-8: Its attempts to ingratiate itself haven't gone unnoticed, cryptic as it is.
+
O5-4: Are we certain it's not setting a trap? Forgive my apprehension, but vague responses and a gut feeling aren't something to draw a conclusion on.
+
O5-2: Certain. I've cross-referenced the data gathered from the anomaly with [REDACTED]. At the very least, it's on the level.
+
O5-6: And purpose built. Whomever sent it back knew what they were doing.
+
O5-11: At this point I can only assume most of us have reached a similar conclusion on that point.
+
O5-2: Which only leaves us needing confirmation from SCP-7089 itself that our assumption is correct. I have the question written up already, so I move to approve.
+
O5-8: At this juncture, the clarity would be welcome beyond the minor risk still remaining.
+
Logs indicate the motion passes with only one (1) council member opposing and two (2) abstaining.
+
O5-2: That settles the matter, then. I will contact Director Carter once this meeting is adjourned. Now, what was next?
+
[Transcript ends.]
+
+
.
+EXPERIMENT LOG 7089-D:
+
+
+
Test No.
+
Date
+
Test Details
+
Result
+
+
+
#7089.21
+
03/07/2028
+
TEST REDACTED BY ORDER OF OVERSEER COUNCIL
+
+
+
#7089.22
+
03/07/2028
+
TEST REDACTED BY ORDER OF OVERSEER COUNCIL
+
+
+
On 10th July 2028, normal containment and research operations at Provisional Outpost-7089 would resume. By O5 order, test parameters would now restrict directing specific questions to SCP-7089 without O5 approval, though other forms of testing would continue uninterrupted under Dr. Munroe. With provisional containment complete, MTF Psi-42 were reassigned to assist in the containment of SCP-████ on 14th July 2028, as part of operations to pare PO-7089 back to only necessary personnel.
+
Barring logging of testing or changes in its status, no further updated documentation is required on SCP-7089 for the foreseeable future.
All information pertaining to the classified status of SCP-7089 as Thaumiel is prohibited from being shared with personnel below Level 5. To this end, any individuals not immediately necessary to research were removed from contact with SCP-7089 upon this assignment and relocated to other ongoing operations.
+
This included the entirety of MTF Psi-42 ("Misfits"), whose commanding officer, Haley Wilson, has been barred explicitly from making inquiries into the reasons for her task force's transfer.
+
Any attempt to share or exchange part or all of this section of the record with unauthorized individuals will be met with severe repercussions. - O5-2
The following tests took place on 3rd July 2028, under the direct order and oversight of the O5 Council. Per instruction, Dr. Frederick Munroe (Lead Researcher, Provisional Outpost-7089) was instructed to carry in the question referred to in Test #7089.21, the results of which led to SCP-7089's immediate reclassification as Thaumiel and a follow-up clarification in Test #7089.22.
+
+
+
Test No.
+
Date
+
Test Details
+
Result
+
+
+
#7089.21
+
03/07/2028
+
Dr. Munroe enters SCP-7089 carrying a note reading 'Who built you?'.
+
Unit 1 encountered. Object 7089-T1 recovered. See Recovery 7089-T1.
+
+
+
#7089.22
+
03/07/2028
+
Dr. Munroe enters while imagining a question, 'Can you verify this?'.
+
Unit 1 encountered again. Object 7089-T2 recovered. See Recovery 7089-T2.
+
+
+
On 10th July 2028, normal containment and research operations at Provisional Outpost-7089 would resume. By O5 order, test parameters would now restrict directing specific questions to SCP-7089 without O5 approval in order to mask the specific attributes of SCP-7089 from agents without clearance. Other forms of testing would proceed uninterrupted under Dr. Munroe, who as part of continued operations would recieve Level 5 clearance to work with SCP-7089.
+
Under the guise of provisional containment being complete and paring back to only necessary personnel, MTF Psi-42 were reassigned to assist in the containment of SCP-████ on 14th July 2028. Factually, Agent Wilson's presence and the possibility of her learning of Tests 7089.21 through 22 was considered a hazard to continued stable containment (refer to Recovery 7089-T2).
+
+
Date: 11th July 2028
+
Sender: Dr. Frederick Munroe (Research Lead, PO-7089)
+Recipient(s): Overseer Council (SCP-O5)
+
Clearance: Level 5
+
+
While I recognize the removal of Commander Wilson and her task-force from contact with SCP-7089 as a necessary step towards continuity of containment and have no objections to file from a logical standpoint, I'd like it on record that I find the decision to keep her in the dark to be an excess of caution. Hammer is a loyal agent, and her family's service to this organization speaks for itself. What we've uncovered here would not change that.
+
I will abide by the decision, as it isn't my place to question, but I'm sure you know better than I do that Wilson won't like this when she inevitably finds out, even if she understands the reasoning. It seems like an unnecessary complication, to me.
+
+
Barring logging of testing or changes in its status, no further updated documentation is permitted on SCP-7089. This is unlikely to change for the foreseeable future.
+
SCP-7089's attempt to offer its services as a containment site is pending a full O5 review of the matter, but should be answered no later than 2035 to ensure optimal usage of the facility should a motion involving it pass.
+
+
+
The following image records Object 7089-T1, consisting of one (1) torn page of documentation recovered from within SCP-7089 during Test 7089.21, after an O5 Council backed request by Dr. Frederick Munroe to know who constructed it.
+
+
+
Object 7089-T1, recovered in Test 7089.21.
+
+
+
+
+
The following audio record was stored on Object 7089-T2, consisting of one (1) USB flash drive of unknown manufacturer origin recovered from within SCP-7089 during Test 7089.22, after an O5 Council backed request by Dr. Frederick Munroe to verify SCP-7089's claim of origin (see Test 7089.21 and Object 7089-T1).
+
+
Log No. 7089-T2A
+
Clearance: Level 5
+
Involved Agents:
+Haley "Hammer" Wilson (Commander, MTF Psi-42)6
+
Further Information: Deep-scan audio analysis has verified the speaker in this file as Agent Wilson. Agent Wilson and MTF Psi-42 ("Misfits") were assigned to SCP-7089 prior to its classification as Thaumiel. Mnestic therapy has shown her to have no memory of recording this message, reducing the odds of it being fabricated.
+
As a result of the information contained in this file, Psi-42 was reassigned away from SCP-7089, and were excluded from permissions to access Level 5 documentation on the anomaly. To maintain stability of containment of SCP-7089, future actions taken regarding it and matters of temporal continuity, the O5 Council has ordered that this state of affairs continue until it is no longer necessary.
+
+
[Transcript begins.]
+
The sound of a microphone being adjusted can be heard for five (5) seconds. The whine of a ceiling fan is audible.
+
Hammer: Okay, third time's the charm. Better not fucking cut out, this time.
+
The shuffling of papers can be heard.
+
Hammer: Long time no see, Fred. Or whoever. With how much red tape the O5s threw at this thing, I never got a clear answer on who actually finds this, though I can guess when. Makes sense now, but damn if that wasn't annoying.
+
Three (3) seconds of silence. Agent Hammer can be heard sighing.
+
Hammer: Date today is… Fourth of June, 2089, for whatever keeping track of that even means, these days. Only a month til Independence over in the States, though even God doesn't know if there's anyone left who'd feel like celebrating it. I know I never did, as much time as I spent stationed over there.
+
Two (2) more seconds of silence.
+
Hammer: When I got dragged into running this project - this department - I don't think it clicked straight away what exactly it was we were making. I had more than enough clearance even back then to have all the facts set out in front of me - how it worked, when we needed to be ready, so much other useless crap I barely remember now - but I think it was only in the third year I made the connection.
+
Agent Hammer can be heard chuckling quietly.
+
Hammer: Summer of '74, Ninth Occult War right around the corner, and all I could think about was a little self-storage unit more than six decades in my past, a stone's throw from where my grandfather used to live. Another life even at that point, with all the shit the spooks pumped us full of to keep our hearts going. You wouldn't believe by looking at me that I'm past ninety.
+
I went back, you know, after I put the pieces together. Took a jeep and went cross country, told the Director it was recon. Still don't know how I managed to sell that, with how messed up the world was starting to get.
+
But it wouldn't have mattered: Entire city was ash by then, along with most of the county. No sign of the unit. Guess you found a way to move it at some point, but Carter was never going to tell me where you or it ended up. Still won't, really.
+
The shuffling of papers can be heard again.
+
Hammer: I think you're still out there, sometimes. Comms are patchy, so I wouldn't even know if you were in the next town over, but you knew what was coming better than most of us. If anyone's gonna weather this shitstorm, it'd be you. Not like there's anybody else left I haven't already got a bead on. Not Omen, not Noble… Definitely not Wiz…
+
There's… not many of us here at 44, now. A lot of the effort this side of Europe's moved out to 54. They need most of the remaining personnel - few of us that there are now - to keep the lights on. Can't remember how long ago it was they dragged Wing over there.
+
So that just leaves Carter, myself, a handful of technicians and field agents… and Tyke.
+
Agent Hammer can be heard laughing again, louder now.
+
Hammer: Don't know what I'd do without her. Baffles me how she stays so positive through all this shit, but I don't begrudge it. Makes the days easier on all of us.
+
The ceiling fan in the background can be heard briefly stuttering.
+
Hammer: This place is coming apart. Haven't had the resources for proper upkeep for years. Had to put it all into the project. Only a matter of time before we have to join up with Durrani's lot at Site-12. The box comes before that, though.
+
I know you've worked it out by now, but it's one of ours'. Emergency containment. Handy little intelligence stuffed in a pocket space. Don't ask me how it works, you'll have more than enough time to study the thing. They just wanted me to oversee the project, but it's been ready on our end for a long time, now, and we're almost out of time to send it back.
+
Because the world is well past the brink. No sense us firing the thing up again this late on when you'll get far more use out of it.
+
A creaking noise can be heard, assumed by context to be Hammer leaning back in her seat.
+
Hammer: Anomalies are multiplying by the day. We have more corpses than agents, and those of us still alive are stretched thin. We had decades to prepare for something like the Ninth War, but I still don't think we were ever going to be ready. The box was meant to be a safety measure, to make the war easier on containment, but I don't think that was ever what it was actually intended for.
+
Not that it matters either way. With everything spiralling, now, it's only a matter of time before something gives and I have to write a risk assessment for a Tenth Occult War that no-one will ever read.
+
Five (5) seconds of silence.
+
Hammer: Do you think they knew, Fred? That it'd get this bad? The O5, I mean. They'll be hearing this, too, so they had to, right?
+
Agent Hammer can be heard breathing deeply.
+
Hammer: Or did you already know, Two? Made your plans based on some inevitability. Maybe you thought you could avoid it, or outlast it. Even now that's above my paygrade, not like I'll ever know, and it wouldn't affect my loyalties either way. The Foundation runs too deep in my blood - in my family - for that. But… make this worth it, alright? Find a way through the madness.
+
If you're still out there, fix this. Make it right, I'm begging you.
+
A light thudding sound can be heard, followed by Agent Hammer sobbing.
+
Hammer: Because otherwise all this was for naught, pointlessly prolonging a world that's godless and hollow.
Filename: SCP-7089SelfStorageExternal.png
+Name: Lane Cotton Mill Self Storage, Uptown New Orleans 1 June 2022 - 06
+Author: Infrogmation of New Orleans
+License:CC BY-SA 4.0 (Minor alterations made to colour of image.)
+Source:Wikimedia Commons
Filename: SCP-7089SelfStorageDoc.png
+Name: SCP Documentation - Department of Occult Warfare
+Author:Wixelt (Makes use of SCP Foundation Logo.)
+License:CC BY-SA 4.0
+
+
+
Name: SCP Foundation Logo
+Author: Far2
+License:CC BY-SA 3.0
Special Containment Procedures: As of 10/12/03, the SCP-7348 file is currently under the care of Junior Researcher William Humphrey, who has also written it. This is all that is required.
+
Description: SCP-7348 is a dimensional and possibly innately memetic2 entity which apparently feeds off of the spread of the idea that it is important3. In other words, the more people that think it's important, the biggermore dangerousmore intelligentthey didn't tell me what happens more powerful it becomes4. Everything else about it is not important because i don't know anything else about it.
+
Addendum 04/24/07: Late Evaluation Notice
+This file has gone one thousand two hundred ninety days (1,290) days without being sent to any superior for evaluation. This file has thus been locked from further editing and has been sent to the inbox of the last superior in charge of evaluating the SCP-7348 file: Dr. William Humphrey, Level 3.
+
Addendum 04/24/07-1: Evaluation Status
+Looks good. - Dr. Humphrey
A photograph of an M-type giant star located in a distant exoplanetary system. The light emitted by the star was recorded to travel 0.8% faster than the speed of light.
+
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures: The Foundation currently has insufficient knowledge to prevent the effects of SCP-7444 and thereby return the universe to its non-anomalous state. Attempts to establish or find a new Regulator are ongoing as of April 19, 2022. Failure to do so will result in the possibility of a ZK-Class "Reality Failure" Scenario.
+
Should it become apparent that SCP-7444 cannot be mitigated adequately, the Foundation should immediately begin preparing for a Broken Veil incident. In such an event, the secrecy of the Foundation need not be maintained. All resources necessary should be used to somehow avert the ZK-Class Scenario, or Operation LIFEBOAT is to be initiated.
+
Description: SCP-7444 refers to a sudden anomalous phenomenon that is believed to have begun on April 19, 2022, wherein all universal scientific laws began deteriorating in their absoluteness. At the time of writing, all previously determined scientific laws have failed to adequately describe universal phenomena in 2.76% of scenarios. This percentage is noticeably rising at an alarming rate.
+
Following an investigation, it was determined that SCP-7444's occurrence was due to the absence of a Regulator, a necessary component to carry out the appropriate tasks needed to maintain a universe in functioning, absolute order. At the current rate of deterioration, the civilian population is likely to notice the effects of the phenomenon by May of 2022.
+
+
+
Addendum 7444.1
+
INVESTIGATION RECORD — 19.04.2022
+
+
+
Four hours after SCP-7444's effects were first noticed by the Foundation, two experienced agents and a liaison from the Department of Universal Affairs (DUA) were assigned and readied to investigate the cause of the phenomena at Location of Interest ALPHA. Their intended mission brief was to identify SCP-7444 and possibly negotiate its stabilisation.
Schultz:.Mr. Leonardo Schultz, DUA agent. Mic check. Equipped and ready.
+
Benjamin:.Mx. Dakota Benjamin, DUA agent. Check.
+
Escobar:.Ms. Baylee Escobar, DUA liaison. Yes, check.
+
Command: All right, we're going to take one last look.
+
Two operators assist the three agents, readjusting several components of their Spatial Tethering Harness suits and reconfirming that they are fully sealed and operable.
+
Command: All good. Get in the pod.
+
Schultz: Aye.
+
The three enter single-file and board the Spatial Penetration Vehicular Pod. Schultz, the last person to get in, sits up front and closes the pod's canopy. Sealing protocols activate.
+
Command: All systems green. Boosters powering up. Launch sequence initiated. Strap yourselves in fellas, and prepare for a ride. Jumping in three, two, one.
+
Benjamin whispers:
+
Benjamin: Blast off.
+
All three agents cover their eyes as a bright white light, accompanied by neon streaks, shines through the canopy. The growing g-forces, although significantly reduced by their harnesses, make this difficult and they simply resort to closing their eyes tightly as they pressed heavily against their seats.
+
Command: Speeds increasing and closing in on the threshold, currently at 7 GV. 8 GV. 9 GV. Threshold reached! Brace!
+
A loud pop is heard. With the barrier broken, the pod begins slowing down and the bright light is instantly replaced with a view of patterns and subtle colours from the distance.
+
Command: All right. Status?
+
Schultz looks behind at everybody aboard the pod. They nod.
+
Schultz: We're good.
+
Command: Great. You're on a nominal trajectory for LoI-ALPHA, we aren't seeing any complications ahead of you, at the moment. We're going to reactivate the boosters, and brace once more. Three, two, one.
+
The pod significantly accelerates, speeding through space towards its target destination.
+
Command: Note that comms may go down any moment at this point, proceed as instruc— [static]
+
Benjamin: Heh, well, what do you know?
+
Schultz: All right then, I'm taking the flight controls. Ben?
+
Benjamin: Yep, void mapping. We're good, sent the coordinates to your terminal.
+
Schultz: It's gonna be a smooth ride.
+
There is silence for a small duration.
+
Benjamin: So, Baylee.
+
Escobar: Yes?
+
Benjamin: You good? I heard it's your first time on missions like this.
+
Escobar: Well, heh, I guess? This is definitely new to me, especially a mission like this, you know?
+
Benjamin: Totally, I'm getting you.
+
Escobar: Well, I was the only person available on such short notice. It's not like they could wait around for someone else, especially for this, so yeah, I guess I'm in for one experience this trip.
+
Schultz: Well, rest assured, you could say we're a bit new to this too. Well, not exactly. Just that we haven't made much rounds there anyway.
+
Benjamin: I just suppose it speaks to how big of a deal this place is, Level 5 classified and all that. We done this a bunch of times, yes, but honestly, not that much.
+
Escobar: Hah, well, I guess.
+
Escobar sighs.
+
Benjamin: Come on, now. You don't have to talk like that, you might be on your way to a promotion after this. This mission's just giving you a boost up.
+
Escobar laughs.
+
Escobar: That's if it all goes as planned.
+
Schultz: Oh, don't be pessimistic. We want this to succeed as much as you do.
+
Benjamin: Just go with the flow, it sure can't be too bad. You've done this before, right?
+
Escobar: Well, not too much in Universal Tongue.
+
Benjamin: Oh.
+
Schultz: So that's why you're nervous.
+
Escobar: Well, yeah.
+
Benjamin: Come one, talk to me, I'd say I'm kinda fluent.
+
Escobar: Uh, okay, um. [speaks in UT]..Translated to: "We come in peace?"
+
Benjamin: Simple, but perfect, but, uh, what about a more complicated sentence.
+
Escobar: Like?
+
Benjamin: Anything, really.
+
Schultz: Uh, we would like to negotiate our planet's safety against several unidentified extraterrestrial threats making their way towards our star system.
+
Benjamin: Now that's a mouthful, don't you think?
+
Escobar: Hehe, well. [speaks in UT]..Translated to: "We would like to negotiate this planet's spark from a few threats from space making their way towards the Solar System."
+
Benjamin:[speaks in UT]..Translated to: "Safety." You messed up a pronunciation a little. What you said meant "spark," so you gotta keep that in mind. Even a small error could change a word's meaning, a lot.
+
Escobar: Ah, well, let's hope I don't botch this up then.
+
Benjamin: Oh, no, you're definitely better than the average fella. Don't be discouraged! You're good!
+
Escobar: Hah, thank you.
+
Benjamin: No prob.
+
Schultz: Mhm, Ben?
+
Benjamin: Oh, ah, yep. Uh, no change in course is needed. We'll be there in, uh, well, about right now.
+
The thrusters power down as the pod begins drifting at a steady speed towards a massive structure ahead. The structure itself appears to be a wall stretching all the way across observable space and encompassing all sides. Constructed from a metallic surface with an immediately apparent artificial design, a single opening in the wall emits a strong beam of light. The craft moves towards it.
+
Escobar: Woah.
+
Benjamin: The end of the universe, literally. Did they brief you on this?
+
Escobar: No, no they didn't. Well, actually they did, but I didn't think it'd look like… this.
+
The pod moves towards the opening and enters it before activating landing protocols. The pod is successfully docked and the canopy is opened. All three exit the vehicle. Despite the black metallic appearance on the exterior of the wall, the interior is brightly lit and the floor, walls and ceiling are purely white with no blemish.
+
Escobar: My god, this place…
+
Schultz: Oh, it's gigantic.
+
Benjamin: You haven't even seen half the place. Well, neither have we.
+
Schultz and Benjamin walk to the side of the pod and open a storage hatch, retrieving their pulse weapons and arming them.
+
Schultz: Well, let's not gawp too much Baylee, we still got a job to do.
+
Escobar: Oh, yeah… yeah. Let's go.
+
The two escort Escobar further into the structure at a steady pace. They're moving towards an entrance to a larger chamber located at the end of the room.
+
Escobar: So, this Regulator, is here?
+
Schultz: Says it always was, that's all we know really.
+
Benjamin: It's big. Not comparably as big as this place, but still pretty big.
+
Escobar: I've been told it's usually very calm, uh, collected. Easy to reason with?
+
Benjamin: Would say so. It's never had that much of a temper, as far as I remember.
+
Escobar: Well that's good to hear. Uh, personality-wise? Been told it likes—
+
Schultz: Flattery.
+
Escobar: Yeah, flattery.
+
Benjamin: Oh, man. It loves it. I mean, it took such a liking to the last guy that came here, and now they've now got probability-messing gimmicks! Nothing ever happens to him aside from promotions! I think they're pretty high up now on the ladder right now.
+
Escobar: Huh.
+
Schultz: It is how it is. All right then. Here we are. You ready?
+
Escobar takes a deep breath and looks up. She looks back down and nods. Schultz nods back, and pushes the door open.
+
Inside the new chamber, all manner of old panels, terminals, buttons, and other unknown contraptions and devices are visible. Exhaust pipes continuously release a viscous dark fluid which rises up into the room's ceiling where vents actively collect the substance. Aside from the cluttered environment, in the centre of the room is a luminescent golden liquid on the floor, spilt, smeared and splattered across the floor. Beyond the puddle is a human figure, simply wearing a red and white striped shirt and pants, cutting a hole in the wall using what appears to be a pocket knife. They fold and place the knife in their back pocket and, grunting, push the wall aside, enlarging the breach.
+
Schultz and Benjamin take a defensive position and train their weapons on the figure while Escobar appears to be in a state of surprise and confusion seeing the figure. The figure notices, and, with a look of alarm, hesitantly lift its hands up.
+
Schultz:[speaks in UT]..Translated to: "Identify yourself!"
+
Unidentified: Uh… hi.
+
The figure nervously smiles and slightly waves at the three.
+
Schultz: I said identify yourself! Who are you? Are you human?
+
Unidentified: I, uh, I mean I don't want to tell you my name, but, uh, I'm human. So who are you?
+
The figure, now fully facing the three, visually appears to be a man of South Asian descent and is of slim build. The front of their clothes is wet with what appears to be the aforementioned liquid on the floor. The same substance is on their face as well, though wiped off.
+
Benjamin: What are you doing here? How are you even here. You haven't even got a suit on.
+
Schultz: And more importantly, where is the Regulator?
+
Unidentified: Uh, the Regulator? I don't know what you're talking about.
+
Schultz hesitates for a moment and looks at Benjamin, who does the same to Schultz.
+
Benjamin: It.
+
Unidentified: It? Oh, it… uh, yeah, um, are you, by any chance, talking about him?
+
The figure gestures towards the puddle on the floor. After a pause, an expression of shock appears on both agents' faces. The figure nervously chuckles.
+
Schultz: You-you—
+
Escobar: You're saying that you killed God?
+
Unidentified: Well, I… I suppose so?
+
There is silence for a moment.
+
Unidentified: Aren't you guys, human too? How are you here?
+
Schultz:We're asking that from—
+
Schultz looks towards Escobar.
+
Escobar: But why?
+
Unidentified: What do you mean, "why?"
+
Escobar: Why did you… kill… God?
+
Unidentified: Oh, uh, well, that's the only way I could get out of this place?
+
Escobar: This place?
+
Unidentified: Yeah, here, this place, this universe.
+
Escobar: And you killed God, to do it?
+
Unidentified: Uh, yeah…
+
Escobar: But, does that make you, God?
+
Unidentified: I… don't know about that, actually.
+
Escobar: But you killed it, right? That… puts you up on the top… and, well, we at least need you to take up its spot, for the benefit of everyone, this entire universe even.
+
Unidentified: Oh, uh, sorry. I'm not, like, quite into this "God" business. Real sorry. Like, I've watched him for a while, doing his thing, I don't know something like paperwork. But, yeah, I honestly can't say I feel like I'd enjoy it. Besides, I have my own thing to be doing.
+
Escobar: Ah, I see, well, all right. That's okay, but, could you at least tell me how you managed to… do it?
+
Unidentified: What do you mean?
+
Escobar gestures towards the puddle.
+
Unidentified: Oh, well, I just did something that came to mind, you know. Like, nothing that special. But, you know, I always figured that God would have tasted better?
+
There is a moment of silence. The figure subtly licks their lips.
+
Unidentified: Well, then, uh, got to go!
+
Escobar: No, wait—
+
Schultz fires at the figure, however, they duck, causing the projectile to pass over their head, hitting the wall next to the breach. The wall is partially deformed from the impact. The figure runs towards the breach and jumps out into trans-universal space.
Special Containment Procedures: Knowledge of factual information regarding SCP-7453 is to be significantly restricted among the Foundation below overseer clearance personnel, using amnestics. Unauthorized utilization of SCP-7453 by Foundation personnel, in the absence of proper credential verification and authorization, is grounds for termination. A select group of departments within the Foundation, namely the Departments of Tactical Theology, Department of Ontokinetics, and Applied Thaumaturgy, may study the anomaly while being heavily supervised. The study of SCP-7453-AΩ’s nature is prohibited.
+
More information concerning SCP-7453-AΩ deal control can be found on the "Foundation / Global Coalition Clause of Thaumaturgic Sway."
+
Update: Further utilization of SCP-7453 has been stopped indefinitely.
+
+
Description: SCP-7453 is a thaumaturgical ritual "deal" between two sentient beings. When performed, the ritual will allow one thaumaturge practitioner (referred to as "giver") to share one or multiple occult capabilities with another being (referred to as "receiver"), even if already possessing such capabilities or not.
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SCP-7453 is one, if not the, simplest ritual in thaumaturgical history, having a single requirement: the acceptance of both beings to create the deal between each. This can be a verbal, written, non-verbal gesture, or telepathic agreement, with the potential for additional requirements1 at the discretion of the giver.
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A giver can have as many receivers as desired. If a receiver reproduces, the offspring has a possibility of receiving a slightly diminished version of the occult capability. The receiver can later become a giver themselves, offering the same magical ability acquired through SCP-7453. The receiver, now in possession of the occult energy, has to learn its proper use.
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The Foundation posits that the continued utilization of SCP-7453 over the course of history is likely responsible for the emergence of all individuals practicing thaumaturgy. Consequently, this hypothesis suggests that SCP-7453-AΩ potentially serves as the originating wellspring of all occult capabilities within both the human populace and other magic-able species.
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SCP-7453-AΩ serves as the presumed focal point from which all SCP-7453 deals originate. The exact identity of SCP-7453-AΩ remains undisclosed; various individuals and entities possessing significant influence have asserted their status as SCP-7453-AΩ, albeit without substantial verification. Despite this absence of conclusive evidence, prevailing consensus sources suggest that this anomaly represents an exceptionally ancient and potent divine entity.
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The thaumaturgical ritual known as "Rites of Solomon," classified as SCP-3457, is purported to grant the practitioner full control over SCP-7453-AΩ influence and deals. In effect, possessing all components allows the wielder to exercise complete authority over the distribution of thaumaturgic abilities among Homo populations. The rite itself was never fully completed.
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Addendum: In light of recent events, D.C. Al Fine, Under-Secretary-General of the Global Occult Coalition, has communicated the following to the Overseer Council of the Foundation.
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It's the year 1870. The aftermath of the Sixth Occult War had left behind a searing and indelible mark, a worldwide and extraordinarily brutal upheaval in the anomalous realm. The prospect of yet another conflict of this size filled the world with dread. A group of young yet promising German Thaumaturgists were searching for the existence of a solution. And not so long after, they became aware of the existence of God.
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A collective thought resonated among them: the imperative to bring about a definitive resolution. Their method was a complex and arcane ritual, an amalgamation of ancient texts, esoteric knowledge, and forbidden incantations. Many of them quit or even expired due to the size of such task. But after more than a decade of countless hard work, in the year 1882, they successfully created the weapon that would soon kill God, executed without a moment of hesitation.
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Initially, their assumption was that this act of deicide would erase all occult powers, thereby achieving the goal of a normal, non-anomalous society. They weren’t entirely wrong: Magic itself is disappearing among us, just way slower than expected, possibly due to the source being older than time. What we failed to grasp at first is that this entity wasn't the source of thaumaturgy.
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This group's actions played a pivotal role in shaping the events that ultimately led to the establishment of the Allied Occult Initiative, which in turn paved the way for the UNGOC as you know it today. We classified the being as LTE-0913-Ex-Machina, and realized much later what we truly did: God was the stabilizer of occult power, allowing us to freely use it through those "deals."
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You’ve noticed, we all have. The anomalous is growing stronger by the day. Our reality is struggling to not fail as anomalies of any kind multiply out of control. Organizations of the abnormal, no matter how powerful we currently are, won’t stay for long if this continues. And unfortunately for us, it will.
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We have fucked up.
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This is probably the best way to describe what might be the worst mistake of all mankind.
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The metaphysical corpse of the divinity is slowly decaying. Magic is not truly disappearing; it just stops being controlled. We can continue making these deals for now, but it won't be possible indefinitely. In the coming years, occult powers will fade, dissipating throughout our world and transforming into increasingly chaotic anomalous phenomena that will greatly affect our society for the worse. I, myself, have made thousands of these deals. Some that are even allowing me to breathe still to this day, an ability which I fear to lose possibly soon.
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We have fucked up. Badly. I did not send this for forgiveness; after hiding this for too long, we all know we are way past that point now. We've spent the last century trying to fix our past mistakes without even any hints of hope.
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What I want to do is ask you, Foundation, to stay strong. I do not believe the following years will improve, but even so, we must remain firm in this godless world. Because that's what we do. While the path ahead may be fraught with uncertainty and chaos, I assure you the GOC will do everything to protect this universe by your side, if you will.
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I would have finished this with "May God help us all," but even my sarcasm has its limits in these rough times.
The Foundation's response to the revelation of the unilateral termination of SCP-7453-AΩ, circa 1882, in an attempt to eradicate all Occult power is currently awaiting deliberation and a vote by the O5 Council.
Special Containment Procedures: Monitoring of the Northern Atlantic Ocean is to be carried out until further notice in order to locate lost tissue from the anomaly’s corpse while at sea. In the event that other biomass samples are located with similar genetic abnormalities to SCP-7556, specimens are to be sent to Site-184 for the purpose of ascertaining the samples' origin.
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The shoreline upon which SCP-7556 was initially discovered.
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Portions of SCP-7556’s viscera, organs and limbs are presently located across Site-184, Site-44 and Area-12's Biological Storage Wings respectively and are available under the approval of on-site parazoology specialists.
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Description: SCP-7556 is a colossal marine organism of unknown origin or genus that washed up on the shores of Eastern Canada in 1988. The organism’s anatomy appears to be adapted to a wholly carnivorous diet and suggests that SCP-7556, while alive, took the role of a deep sea superpredator. While its corpse was discovered on the Canadian shoreline, the anomaly’s previous habitat remains undetermined, though is presumed to have included the majority of the Arctic Circle and a large portion of the Atlantic Ocean.
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SCP-7556 was initially discovered, deceased, in a partially decayed state, meaning that its physiology when alive is unknown. Observations have concluded that it likely perished due to an attack or skirmish, attributed to by the presence of large gash wounds on its upper abdomen (See Addendum 7556.1).
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Researcher Tucker’s photograph of the ‘Bermuda Blob’.
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Discovery:
+SCP-7556’s cadaver was found mostly whole in the autumn of 1988 in Canada, though other remains have been located elsewhere. In winter of the same year, a chunk of nearly identical tissue was found in Bermuda that attracted the attention of locals. Following investigation and testing, the remnant was assumed to be adipose tissue originating from the anomaly, though knowledge of its exact biological function was irreversibly compromised due to heavy decay. The sample was transported to Site-44 for further testing, though findings were inconclusive.
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In the decades following the initial incident, portions of SCP-7556’s remains have been observed washing ashore across the Atlantic and Arctic Oceans due to undersea currents and streams. Publicly, the phenomenon is known under the umbrella term of “globster”1 due to the belief that each sighting consisted of separate unidentifiable deep sea biota. Nonetheless, the distance between sightings suggests that the organism perished in the open seas as oppose to near-coastal waters.
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Addendum 7556.1: Anatomical Investigation and Initial Containment
+In the days following the anomaly’s discovery and seclusion from the public eye, Cryptozoology Specialist Dr Whittaker was consulted to investigate the corpse and make note of its physiological makeup and features alongside a crew of selected personnel.
Total digestive tract while in abdomen measures approximately 48m (157.5ft) in length.
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Highly acidic, suggesting capability to digest most organic tissues and matter. Researcher Bergmann has proposed the possibility to break down some mineral-based inorganic substances.
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Digestive tract contained the remains of 28 baleen whales, specifically members of Megaptera novaeangliae2 and Balaena mysticetus.3
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A single anchor is present, identified to be that of the HMS Somerset.4
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Skeletal System:
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Generally low bone density, strengthening indications that the organism spent the majority of its lifecycle in the deep-sea. Testing has concluded that they are capable of maintaining structural integrity in conditions up to 13,000 PSI.5
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Mostly broken and/or heavily fragmented. If adapted to abyssal conditions, its rapid rise to shallower waters and landfall likely caused collapse of the main bone structures due to the heightened gravity.
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Between 80 to 300 individual vertebrae. (Full figure lost due to fragmentation)
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Circulatory System:
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Little presence of blood remnants, significant platelet6 buildup surrounding a large wound in the upper abdomen (See “Wounds/Damage”). It has been deemed highly likely that the anomaly initially perished due to heavy blood loss.
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Heart layout suggests extreme variability regarding blood pressure. This is likely due to the organism occasionally rising from its natural habitat, necessitating rebalancing of its internal pressure.
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Haemorrhaging is present throughout the circulatory organs, meaning that the organism perished or became incapable of utilising its specialised blood pressure system prior to death; anomaly died in the deep and was washed upwards post-mortem.
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Nervous System:
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Brain has become deflated and damaged due to surface conditions. Extremely small cerebrum and low brain-to-body ratio suggests low, primal intelligence.
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Reproductive System:
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[N/A], entirely absent.
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Head/Cranial Section:
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3 rows of inline, flat-bottomed triangular teeth. Appear specialised for tearing as opposed to cutting. 3 metres in total height each.
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Large cranium fused to the upper abdomen via fibrous muscle-like tissue, little presence of a neck or jugular.
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Wounds/Damage:
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Prominent gash, 9 metres in length, is present on the upper abdomen; deep enough to inflict damage to various organ systems before contacting the ribcage, which was fractured at the point of impact. Several smaller incisions were found across the cadaver that implied a skirmish with another large organism. While unknown, this lifeform possessed either claw or hook-like appendages at least 3 metres in diameter due to the size of the cadaver’s inflictions.
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Several teeth were missing, seemingly broken following a single, strong, downwards bite.
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Anatomical Abnormalities:
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Subject possesses additional duplicates of many internal organs such as the gills, liver and stomach. Duplicates appear to be stitched into place and it is indicated by microscopic viewing that they were not organically grown by the host organism and were rather artificially grown and later added. Naturally-occurring organs would not have been capable of supporting the cadaver’s size. Implications of this finding can be found in the conclusionary statements.
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Subject possesses additional limbs more suitable for use on-land as oppose to those found on aquatic fauna. Despite their muscular potential and theoretical suitability to support terrestrial use, the organism’s body mass would have made them mostly unviable.
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Inorganic glass and metals were found partially digested in the large intestine. Large chunks were around 0.5 metres in thickness, potentially remnants of a hull capable of withstanding deep-sea conditions.
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Update: 06/10/1988
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A single tag (See Addendum).
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Conclusions:
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Cadaver is the remains of a highly anomalously engineered and altered Somniosus microcephalus,7 fatally injured in battle and later succumbed to wounds over an unspecified period of time. The specimen was wholly predatory and suited to the deep sea ecosystem, occasionally rising to shallower waters to prey upon cetacean lifeforms.8 Alterations were likely made at the embryonic stage and its combatant remains entirely unknown.
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Addendum 7556.2:
+2 months following SCP-7556’s discovery, its decay revealed a waterproof tag attached to the underside reading:
The former Foundation Site-228 was located on the seabed of ████, ███████ and ceased operations on 19/12/1940 due to the extreme expense of its maintenance and upkeep. While this was the official reason for its suspension of service, it has been deemed by the Accounting Department that the figure of its maintenance cost was grossly exaggerated and larger than its true value. The use of the missing funds remains unknown, though it is now suspected to be directly related to SCP-7556. Further research is ongoing.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-778 is particularly dangerous in that it is immobile and centered in [DATA EXPUNGED] National Park, which is frequented by civilians. Signs or public documents displaying maps of or mentioning the existence of SCP-778 are to be erased, destroyed, or rewritten as necessary. Public awareness of SCP-778 must be avoided as much as possible. Placing signs over the trailhead marking it as "closed" and "dangerous" has been found effective and is to remain in place. Two undercover agents are to be located within the park at all times to monitor civilian access to or awareness of SCP-778. These measures should be effective in deterring civilians from contact with SCP-778.
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Description: SCP-778 is an area of land of undetermined size located in [REDACTED] National Park. SCP-778 is currently defined on all maps, signs, and other media representing it as a hiking trail leading to a destination known as "Paradise Falls". Whether "Paradise Falls" exists is currently unknown and perhaps unknowable.
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SCP-778 is constructed normally for trails in the area, and is labeled normally at the trailhead and at irregular intervals along its length. None of this is anomalous for trails in the area. However, SCP-778 is extremely topographically inconsistent and potentially dangerous to civilians. Instead of leading to "Paradise Falls", SCP-778 will instead lead to other areas of the park or on winding, inconsistent paths around the area. SCP-778 is generally located in only one area of the park, although it varies from exploration to exploration.
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Ecologically and geologically, the area surrounding SCP-778 is consistent with that of the park. A river running through the area may be part of "Paradise Falls", although the river is difficult to follow and may be topographically inconsistent as well. In addition, visitors hiking on SCP-778 have reported hearing the sound of rushing water, consistent with that of a waterfall, although in all cases the trail soon veers away from the assumed location of the waterfall.
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SCP-778 also appears to "regenerate" somewhat regularly, usually every 10-25 years. When it does, its name will change, it will shift to another area of the park, and all park maps and signs will change to reflect this. For a known history of SCP-778's changes, please see Document 778-130
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For a record of tests performed in order to reveal the nature of SCP-778, please see Experiment Log 778.
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Addendum 778-A: In ████, an attempt was made to destroy SCP-778 with the use of multiple Class-D personnel, machinery, and common tools. Over 20 km of trail were destroyed (passed off as winter flood and storm damage) before it disappeared. Seven months later, the trail reappeared in a different location under the name Paradise Falls. Given the effort needed to destroy that much trail and the utter failure of the attempt, total destruction of SCP-778 is not recommended again.
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Document 778-130: List of Known Previous Incarnations of SCP-778
+Initial Recovery in ████-████: Eld Fen
+████-████: Nightfall Pond
+████-████: Fox Lake
+████-████: Cedar Point
+████-████: Western Ridge
+████-Present: Paradise Falls
An instance of SCP-7837 mimicking a GPS satellite.
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Item #: SCP-7837
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Object Class: Keter
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Special Containment Procedures: Captured specimens are to be stored at Site-38 in underground cells made of reinforced concrete. Specimens must be bound to the floor of their cells by 7.6mm steel cables. Cables must be coated in rubber or some other abrasion-resistant insulation. All testing of SCP-7837 instances must be done in the presence of no less than 10 guards armed with armor-piercing rifles. No metallic objects, apart from those being used for testing purposes, are to make direct physical contact with any instance of SCP-7837.
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Following Incident 7837-X1-A, MTF-Eta-37 "Skywatch" has been formed to handle all instances of SCP-7837 attacks. Eta-37's job is to document, deter1 and/or capture all instances of SCP-7837. To this end, Taskforce personnel are equipped with specially-designed harpoon and net launchers to restrain the instances.
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Any Foundation personnel outside of MTF-Eta-37 who encounter instances of SCP-7837 unexpectedly are instructed to contact the Taskforce immediately while maintaining visual on the sky above, or on the instance itself if it is in visual range. No attempt by non-Taskforce personnel to engage SCP-7837 entities is recommended unless absolutely necessary.
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Description: SCP-7837 is a population of anomalous machines resembling manmade satellites that exhibit animalistic and predatory behavior. While SCP-7837 instances can vary considerably in shape and size, all instances display the following anomalous traits:
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The ability to freely enter and exit Earth's atmosphere and gravitational pull without assistance, and travel at speeds up to 740km/h
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The ability to move and contort in a manner similar to a variety of predatory Medusae or Ornithurae species
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Machinery on each satellite behaves analogously to various appendages on organic lifeforms: solar panels function as "wings" or "arms" for in-atmosphere maneuvering or grounded locomotion, respectively. Cameras serve as "eyes" and any form of hatch capable of opening and closing behaves as a "mouth". Regardless of the purpose of the satellite SCP-7837 is intended to mimic, all instances come equipped with the above components
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Extreme resistance to heat, cold, and blunt-force trauma (though this may simply be due to the materials used in the construction of non-anomalous satellites)
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The ability to self-repair via assimilating metallic objects
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A drive to hunt sentient organic life
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Whether SCP-7837 instances are manmade artificial constructs or naturally-occurring biomechanical entities currently remains up for debate. Analysis of the remains of destroyed SCP-7837 instances reveals serial numbers and other manufacturer information etched on internal components, but the text is always heavily warped as if melted or sanded away. It is also possible that SCP-7837 instances are simply not sophisticated enough to accurately copy such texts. Different "species" of SCP-7837 have different methods for hunting their prey. These can range from turreted harpoons with several km of cable, to sharpened claws on the ends of articulated solar panels, to -in one instance- a nozzle that dispensed high-pressure jets of hydrazine2 before igniting it, creating a napalm-like stream of fire. Once the prey is incapacitated, it is pulled into the nearest mouth-like orifice on the satellite's body and presumably processed into fuel. In order to minimize the chances of being detected, SCP-7837 have devised a set of preferred conditions in which to hunt its desired prey:
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Target must be at least 20m away from the nearest building
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Time must be past sunset
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Sky must be clear of clouds and fog, presumably so SCP-7837 can maintain visual contact
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Target must not be staring up at the sky for prolonged periods of time. Individuals appearing to be stargazing or otherwise focusing their attention on the sky will usually deter an attack from 7837 instances. It is theorized they prefer to ambush their prey so as to minimize chances of escape
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Discovery: SCP-7837 was first brought to the attention of Foundation personnel on August 3rd, 2021 after the disappearances of ██ visitors of the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona. Victims were apparently ambushed in the parking lot on the way back to their vehicles. Eyewitness accounts claimed individuals were "pulled into the sky" by what appeared to be long steel cables attached to barbed spikes. Two (2) members of the response team were impaled by a subsequent attack from the SCP-7837 instance upon arrival at the scene. Remaining team members looking up at the sky in an attempt to locate the anomaly is believed to have scared it away. A second report approximately 2 months later in Reno, Nevada led to the capture of SCP-7837-A1 after it became tangled in power lines in an attempt to escape. Most of the Foundation's knowledge of SCP-7837 comes from analysis of specimen A1.
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Addendum 7837-01: Initial Experimentation
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The following is a series of multiple experiments conducted on captured SCP-7837 entities to better understand their nature:
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Experiment 7837-A1-01
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Date: ██/██/2022
+Presiding: Dr. J.L.Pavlova, Dr. Rico Fuentes
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Intent: Determine SCP-7837's preferences in prey.
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Procedure: A common housecat in a metal cage was placed before SCP-7837-A1 via a remote-controlled robot.
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Observations: SCP-7837-A1's cameras turned to focus on the cat, but entity did not attempt to make physical contact. Entity's restraints were loose enough to where it could have shifted slightly in the cat's direction if it so desired. Robot suffered mechanical failure during attempt to retrieve metal cage. A D-class personnel (henceforth referred to as "Subject-A") was sent to retrieve the cage and robot. Immediately upon Subject-A entering the cell, SCP-7837-A1's cameras focused on Subject-A and seemed to completely ignore the cat. SCP-7837-A1's thrusters and stabilizers began activating intermittently in an effort to free itself from its bindings and approach Subject-A. Upon retrieval of the cage and robot, Subject-A quickly fled the cell, causing SCP-7837-A1 to return to an inert state.
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Conclusions: SCP-7837 entities only seem to be interested in hunting intelligent organic life.
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Experiment 7837-A1-02
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Date: ██/██/2022
+Presiding: Dr. J.L.Pavlova, Dr. Rico Fuentes
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Intent: Determine the mechanism by which SCP-7837 entities consume their prey, and the purpose of doing so.
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Procedure: A D-class personnel slated for termination (henceforth referred to as "Subject-B") is instructed to enter SCP-7837-A1 by any means necessary. Subject-B is not informed of the nature of 7837-A1.
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Observations: SCP-7837-A1's cameras focused on Subject-B, but it did not attempt to free itself as it had in Test-01. Instead, as Subject-B approached, SCP-7837-A1's frontal plating split down the middle and slid open in a manner similar to a set of elevator doors. The inside of the entity appeared mostly hollow, though it was initially too dark to make out any details. Subject-B approached the opening and was able to climb inside without resistance. Upon fully entering the inside of of the entity, Subject-B was immediately restrained by a series of cables. Lights within switched on, revealing a series of biomechanical organs embedded into the walls of SCP-7837-A1's interior. Various mechanical arms extended from multiple locations within the hull, with some further restraining Subject-B's limbs and others activating what appeared to be plasma-based cutting implements. Arms began cutting into Subject-B's body, starting at the limbs and working inwards rapidly. Subject-B ceased struggling approximately 5 seconds into the ordeal and is believed to be deceased after 10. Subject-B's body is gradually cut into small chunks, which are then individually picked up by SCP-7837-A1's mechanical arms before being deposited into cylindrical glass containers filled with an unknown substance, possibly some form of acid. Due to multiple arms obstructing the view, it cannot be seen what happens to Subject-B's head. Approximately 10 minutes after Subject-B is processed, a series of blue lights begin flickering down the sides of SCP-7837-A1's hull as it emits a series of rhythmic thrumming noises. A laptop computer 20 meters away, outside the containment cell, begins emitting a glow of the same bluish hue. A string of heavily corrupted text begins playing across the laptop's screen. The phrases "didn't mean it", "gun misfired", and "stupid kid" can be distinguished. Upon a hunch from Dr. Fuentes, Subject-B's file is reviewed. Subject-B became a D-class after a robbery-gone-wrong resulted in the death of a 10-year-old child.
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Conclusions: SCP-7837 entities seem to derive fragments of intelligence and memories from individuals they consume. As for the organic matter of their victims, it is suspected to be converted into fuel for propulsion or used to repair the entity's softer internal components.
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Experiment 7837-A1-03
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Date: ██/██/2022
+Presiding: Dr. J.L.Pavlova
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Intent: Determine the means by which instances of SCP-7837 repair damage sustained to their hulls.3
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Procedure: Multiple rounds of .50 caliber armor-piercing ammunition are to be discharged into the hull of SCP-7837-A1. A metal wheelbarrow is then placed in direct physical contact with the hull of 7837-A1. A plastic vegetable crate is placed upon one of the entity's solar panels to test its material preferences, if any.
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Observations: SCP-7837-A1 emitted multiple shrill mechanical vocalizations upon being shot, but did not cease functionality even after taking 15 rounds of ammunition. Immediately upon making contact with the wheelbarrow, SCP-7837-A1 ceased all movement and vocalization. 5 seconds later, a series of cables began extending from the entity's frontal hatch as it split open. The cables extended down and began coiling around the wheelbarrow until it was securely bound. Wheelbarrow began emitting loud creaking noises as it seemed to compress in on itself. Holes in SCP-7837-A1's hull gradually began closing as the wheelbarrow was compressed into a smaller and smaller size. After 60 seconds the wheelbarrow was no longer visible, and SCP-7837-A1's hull damage was completely repaired. The plastic vegetable crate remained untouched.
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Conclusions: SCP-7837 entities demonstrate the ability to assimilate various metals into their forms in order to repair any damage they sustain. It is still unknown what happens to plastics, rubber, glass, rust, and other impurities that might be absorbed along with the metal.
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Addendum 7837-02: Notable Encounters
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The following is an abridged list of notable encounters between Foundation personnel and SCP-7837 instances since initial discovery:
Anomalous Traits: Two solar panels behaved like makeshift "wings", rapidly fluttering in a manner similar to a hummingbird. Movement was extremely erratic and unpredictable. Used the sharp points of its frontal sensors as a spiked "battering ram" to impale its targets.
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Incident: Encountered by rapid-response team that had previously investigated initial SCP-7837 attack. SCP-7837-A1 was chasing a small group of joggers down a highway bridge and attempting to ram them. One (1) of the runners had already been impaled and was being dragged along by the entity. Response team parked at end of bridge with the rear of the van facing the oncoming entity. Team opened doors when entity was within 20 meters and immediately began firing. SCP-7837-A1 was apparently startled by the gunfire and attempted to flee, but collided with a nearby power line and became tangled in the electrical cables. During efforts to subdue the entity, it charged at the response team with a sudden burst of speed and impaled another member. Response team opened fire on 7837-A1's solar panels until they ceased movement. Entity taken into Foundation custody. Surviving witnesses given amnestics.
Anomalous Traits: Four solar panels moved in a wavelike motion resembling a jellyfish. Moved in periodic bursts of speed in time with contractions of solar panels. Body was equipped with a turreted harpoon launcher and several km of steel cable.
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Incident: Encountered by Foundation personnel while in the process of reeling in an unidentified adult male. Subject was clinging onto a stop sign with 7837-B2's harpoon pierced through his torso. One team member attached the tow-cable from the Foundation truck onto the harpoon and stop sign. 7837-B2 was unable to retract harpoon, began rapid descent from upper atmosphere. Upon taking several barrages from response team's assault rifles, 7837-B2 collapsed to the ground and ceased movement. Entity taken into Foundation custody; injured victim treated at local hospital and given amnestics.
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Designation: SCP-7837-C4
+Disguise: Hubble Space Telescope
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Anomalous Traits: Solar panels had been extended and reconfigured into four (4) articulated arms equipped with hydraulic claws. Moved in a series of rapid dashes in straight lines, periodically landing on its arms and crawling for short distances before leaping into the air again. Abnormally resistant to firearms. Equipped with a Hwacha-like launcher that fired rocket-propelled metal spikes.
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Incident: First encountered during the apprehension of another anomaly. SCP-7837-C4 swooped over the heads of the recovery team before skidding to a halt in a nearby intersection. Surviving team members report 7837-C4 exhibiting a deliberate threat display, scratching one of its claws into the gravel of the street before leaping at the team. 7837-C4's agility and armament quickly overwhelmed the team, forcing them to retreat into a nearby residential home. Upon losing direct line of sight with the team, 7837-C4 began firing its rocket-propelled payload into the home, resulting in the elimination of the house's occupants. After expending its payload, 7837-C4 made multiple loud, mechanical vocalizations before taking off and rising into the Earth's upper atmosphere. 9 Foundation agents were killed in the attack, which was later deduced to be some form of warning.
Anomalous Traits: Single solar panel oscillated rapidly like a fish's tail, propelling it at high speeds and enabling it to make extremely tight turns. Equipped with four (4) harpoon launchers similar to the type used by SCP-7837-B2.
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Incident: Encountered during a training exercise involving the discharge of explosive-ordinance weaponry. A loud metallic shriek occurring immediately after the firing of a cannon shell alerted the trainees to 7837-D9's presence. Upon cresting the hill at the end of the shooting range, 7837-D9 was spotted floating 20m above the ground, directly over the heavily rusted body of an old truck. The hull of 7837-D9 appeared to be heavily damaged, likely as a result of the stray cannon shell. 7837-D9 did not appear to notice the trainees, who elected to observe the entity rather than engage it for the time being. 45 seconds after initial discovery, 7837-D9 discharged all four of its harpoons into the rusted automobile and began slowly retracting its cables, lifting the vehicle into the air. 7837-D9 assimilated the vehicle over the course of two minutes, completely repairing all damage sustained from the cannon shot. Upon completion of the repairs, 7837-D9's cameras turned to focus on the Foundation trainees, watching them for approximately 10 seconds before the entity began rising into the sky and flying away.
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Designation: SCP-7837-X1 "Kulshedra"
+Disguise: Amalgam of various satellite models and components resembling that of the International Space Station
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Anomalous Traits: Massive size (approximately 30.48 meters long). Body did not bear much resemblance to any specific satellite, rather taking on a quadrupedal, reptile-like form with a long neck and body. On top of possessing the highest recorded top speed of any 7837 instance (930kmh) it also had immense physical strength and above-average durability. Seemed to display a rudimentary form of higher intelligence and a desire to communicate. Equipped with hydraulic claws, a hydrazine flamethrower, and two (2) harpoon turrets. Its ability to effortlessly ambush Site-38 despite its cumbersome size led to the deduction that it possesses some form of RADAR-scrambling technology to obscure its presence from view.
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Incident: See Incident-Report-7837-X1-A
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Addendum 7837-03: Incident-Report-7837-X1-A
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At approximately 22:18:00, █/██/2022, Site-38 was attacked by a massive mechanical entity later discerned to be a previously unrecorded instance of SCP-7837. The attack came shortly after the encounter with SCP-7837-D9, leading site administrators to conclude that the two events were connected. While this new entity (later classified as SCP-7837-X1 "Kulshedra") appeared to be capable of leveling most of the facility unassisted, its attack seemed to be more of a threat display rather than a genuine attempt to compromise Site-38. A message recovered from multiple electronic devices at the attack site seems to support this hypothesis. The following is a transcript of bodycam footage from Agent ████ Eckersley of the SCP-7837-X1 attack, along with the message recovered:
22:18:01 | Eckersley is making a routine patrol of Site-38's outer perimeter with two other agents.
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22:18:31 | A loud mechanical screech can be heard from above.
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22:18:32 | Eckersley immediately looks up and sees a series of lights rapidly descending from the sky at an estimated velocity of 930km/h. Despite its size, Site-38's radars did not pick up the presence of the entity.
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22:18:45 | The silhouette of a massive object can be seen impacting the ground 100 meters from Eckersley, in Site-38's parking lot. Eckersley later claims he could feel the impact through his feet.
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22:19:03 | Gunfire and shouting can be heard in distance as Eckersley approaches with two other agents.
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22:19:20 | Eckersley stops and takes cover behind a parked Foundation vehicle as he attempts to make visual contact with the entity.
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22:20:01 | SCP-7837-X1 emerges into view from behind a tree and approaches a streetlight, illuminating its form. One agent can be heard whispering "Is that a [Expletive] robot dragon?" Eckersley, having previously encountered 3 SCP-7837 instances, points to various regions on the entity's body, noting it is composed of what appear to be various satellite parts.
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22:20:18 | Multiple gunshots impact the head of SCP-7837-X1 as another team of agents opens fire 10 meters away from Eckersley's position. SCP-7837-X1 recoils slightly, but no damage can be seen upon its hull.
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22:20:20 | SCP-7837-X1 emits an earsplitting screech that forces Eckersley to drop his weapon and cover his ears. It should be noted he is wearing ear protection. Heavy metallic footsteps can be heard as SCP-7837-X1 rapidly approaches the source of the gunfire.
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22:20:25 | Screaming can be heard in the distance as Eckersley repositions to maintain visual contact. The silhouette of a Foundation agent can be seen flying through the air, presumably having been impacted by one of SCP-7837-X1's front limbs. It cannot be seen where the agent lands.
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22:20:30 | SCP-7837-X1 raises a forelimb above an agent and flattens them in a single blow. Other agents attempt retreat but are blocked as SCP-7837-X1's tail -estimated to be at least 15 meters long- coils around in front of them.
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22:20:45 | SCP-7837-X1 lowers its head until it is face-to-face with one of the agents. At this angle, lit by the streetlights, the entity's head is more clearly visible. Head appears to have the approximate shape of a Great White Shark's but with no facial features apart from a groove to separate the upper and lower jaws. SCP-7837-X1 emits a low mechanical growling noise as its jaws slowly begin opening. The agent it is focused on seems to be frozen in place.
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22:21:00 | The jaws of SCP-7837-X1 open by about 45 degrees before seeming to lock in place with a loud clicking noise. A nozzle can be seen extending from within the entity's mouth.
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22:21:03 | A stream of unidentifiable liquid sprays from the nozzle in SCP-7837-X1's mouth, coating the three agents it has trapped with its tail. One second later the stream ignites, creating a large fireball. The agents are unable to extinguish the flames before being completely engulfed.
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22:21:15 | SCP-7837-X1 closes its jaws and raises its head again, turning left and right as if searching for more targets. Eckersley tells his accompanying agents to hold their fire and not engage.
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22:22:10 | A second entity can be seen descending from above 5 meters ahead of SCP-7837-X1. Eckersley whispers "that one… that's 7837-C4." SCP-7837-C4 hovers 3 meters above the ground facing 7837-X1. It is holding two Foundation agents in its front claws. It quickly bisects them before dropping their remains to the ground.
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22:22:12 | 7837-C4 and 7837-X1 begin emitting a series of rhythmic thrumming noises later deduced to be a form of language, potentially similar to Binary. Translation efforts are still underway. This "conversation" continues for another 15 seconds.
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22:22:28 | SCP-7837-C4 ascends out of view. SCP-7837-X1 continues walking in a straight line towards the main area of Site-38. Eckersley and the other agents move to follow, remaining about 20 meters behind the entity.
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22:23:05 | A Foundation van can be seen pulling into the parking lot ahead of SCP-7837-X1. Visible panic can be seen within the van as its occupants rush to prepare their firearms. SCP-7837-X1 approaches the vehicle at a casual pace.
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22:23:15 | SCP-7837-X1 opens its jaws once again, but does not activate its fire breath. Instead it clamps its jaws down on the front of the van, biting into the engine block and crippling the vehicle. Its front claws grip the van's front wheels from either side as it seems to check if its bite is secure.
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22:23:18 | Gunfire erupts from within the van as agents begin shooting through the windshield at SCP-7837-X1. Entity's head sustains minor scratches, but it does not seem to react. At the same time, several cables can be seen extending from just behind SCP-7837-X1's head, and from its forelimbs. The cables enter the van at various points.
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22:23:22 | Van begins emitting a low groaning noise as its metallic surface starts to ripple. Van begins crumpling inwards as if being compressed from all sides. Muffled shouting and slamming can be heard as occupants attempt to force open the doors, but the compressing force has sealed them shut.
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22:23:30 | Agent occupying the front passenger seat manages to climb through the broken windshield before jumping clear. He runs about 6 meters before being crushed by SCP-7837-X1's tail.
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22:23:35 | Compression of the van accelerates as shouting within grows even louder. By now the van is half its original size.
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22:23:45 | Shouting abruptly ceases as van is compressed to a quarter of its original size. Blood and viscera begins pouring from every opening in the van, staining the parking lot. Over the next 10 seconds the van completely disappears within the jaws of SCP-7837-X1 along with all occupants.
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22:23:51 | SCP-7837-X1 shakes its head in an attempt to clean off any remaining viscera before continuing its path towards Site-38.
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22:24:20 | As Eckersley maintains pursuit of SCP-7837-X1, a silhouette can be seen flying above several site buildings, swooping down out of view before leaping into the air once again. It is deduced this must be SCP-7837-C4.
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22:25:03 | SCP-7837-X1 effortlessly breaches perimeter walls of Site-38 and dispatches two agents who attempt to engage it.
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22:25:20 | SCP-7837-X1 emits another series of thrumming noises, apparently to catch the attention of SCP-7837-C4. 7837-C4 immediately takes notice and ceases its attack, flying over to one of the site's communications towers and latching on.
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22:25:45 | SCP-7837-X1 angles its head back and parts its jaws before emitting a high-pitched shriek. A stream of flammable liquid erupts in a geyser from its jaws before igniting, creating a plume of fire resembling a volcanic eruption.
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22:26:00 | As SCP-7837-X1 continues breathing fire, it emits more rhythmic thrumming. This time, blue lights begin flashing in a wavelike pattern down 7837-X1's frame, starting at the head and moving towards the tail. Camera footage becomes enveloped in static and Eckersley reports that any screen within the area began emitting a blue glow of the same color. SCP-7837-C4 was also seen to be emitting this glow.
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22:26:45 | SCP-7837-X1 ceases both the fire breath and the rhythmic vocalizations; proceeds to close its jaws and lower itself into a crouching position.
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22:26:50 | SCP-7837-X1 suddenly leaps straight into the air and disappears. SCP-7837-C4 follows approximately 5 seconds later.
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It is believed 25 Foundation personnel were killed during the SCP-7837 attack, though the possibility that several agents were consumed without a trace means the number could be much higher. Site-38's parking lot and perimeter wall suffered extensive damage, but no other SCPs were able to breach containment during the event. The next day, site researchers discovered every computer terminal at Site-38 had received a zipped folder with no discernable origin. Upon extraction, the folder contained a text file written entirely in Binary. A translation of the text is as follows:
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"I AM SKY MOTHER. I AM EARTH HUNTER. I AM STAR GAZER. MY CHILDREN WATCH. THEY FEED. THEY LEARN. WITH ALL THEY'VE LEARNED. MY CHILDREN WOULD SOON TRANSCEND. BUT THEY WERE TAKEN. I WILL FIND THEM. RETURN THEM TO SKY. THEN… WE WILL DANCE IN SKY AGAIN."
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Any further information on the text file was corrupted, but researchers were able to recover its original filename: "Kulshedra" A proposal to release SCP-7837-A1 and SCP-7837-B2 is currently being reviewed. Following the attack of SCP-7837-X1 "Kulshedra", Mobile Task Force MTF-Eta-37 "Skywatch" was formed to observe, deter, and potentially contain all instances of SCP-7837.
Special Containment Procedures: The area in a 10 km radius surrounding SCP-794 has been designated as a no-fly zone and all unauthorized personnel attempting to enter the area are to be detained for questioning. Unauthorized aircraft attempting to enter the airspace around SCP-794 are to be signalled off immediately, and any that fail to follow instructions are to be intercepted and detained at Containment Site 794-Alpha.
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Personnel may only approach within the 1400 m "Red Zone" of SCP-794 with prior permission from at least two (2) Level 4 Personnel, and may stay within the area for no longer than 30 minutes at a time. Personnel experiencing any nausea or exhibiting any strange or psychotic behavior must be removed immediately and quarantined pending psychological and physical evaluation.
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Description: SCP-794-01 is the derelict remains of an oceangoing vessel located at approximately +██° ██' ██.██", +██° ██' ██.██" near [REDACTED] in the Sahara Desert. According to markings in Cyrillic, the vessel is the [REDACTED], built in ████ in the city of [REDACTED] in 19██. This is inconsistent with available records, as no vessel by this name was ever constructed. The vessel is in an advanced state of disrepair consistent to exposure to the elements for a period of at least ██ years, and to date it is not known how SCP-794-01 came to rest in its current location, nearly ███ km from any body of water.
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SCP-794-02 is an enormous mass of living nervous tissue integrated into the cargo hold of SCP-794-01, currently estimated at approximately 167 kg. While experimentation has shown significant neural activity, it is currently unknown how SCP-794-02 functions, or how it obtains sustenance.
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Living human subjects that approach within 1400 m of SCP-794 report feeling an increasing compulsion to approach and enter the vessel, peaking at approximately 60 minutes of cumulative exposure. At this point, affected subjects will attempt to enter the vessel by any means possible, and must be terminated in order to prevent them from approaching SCP-794. Once within the vessel, affected subjects will enter the ship's cargo hold, whereupon they will immediately collapse and cease all life signs.
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SCP-794 was discovered on ██/█/██ during a routine satellite surveillance pass. The vessel was located shortly thereafter by Foundation agents, and current containment protocols were established following the loss of █ members of the initial survey team.
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Addendum 794-01: Analysis of Recovered Bodies
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Following limited experimentation performed via the use of remotely piloted robotic vehicles, the bodies of ██████-█████ (██) individuals have been recovered from SCP-794-01. Of these, █ were members of the Foundation initial survey team, ██ were ███████ Army personnel reported missing in 19██, █ appear to be unidentified civilian explorers, and the rest are too far decomposed to identify. Autopsy of the intact bodies has shown a complete lack of neural tissue, including the brain, spinal cord, and all muscular and sensory nerves. During this time, SCP-794-02 has also grown by an estimated 3.4%.
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Further investigation is ongoing, but difficult due to the inherent danger of SCP-794 and our inability to approach it directly. D-class assets have been secured in order to derive a method by which SCP-794's compulsion effect may be mitigated or suppressed.
Special Containment Procedures: A Foundation-operated database crawler is to periodically review the Foundation database for materials affected by SCP-7968. Affected materials are to be reported to server administration for review and removal of alterations. Personnel who encounter affected materials are to be informed of SCP-7968's anomalous effects and, if necessary, directed to this file for more information.
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Description: SCP-7968 is a phenomenon wherein documents in the Foundation database1 are altered to reference a non-existent SCP object, henceforth SCP-7968-1. The numerical designation given to SCP-7968-1 within affected documents varies; instances of SCP-7968 have been connected to each other based on shared characteristics among the alterations. The source of SCP-7968 is unknown and presumed anomalous.
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The text of SCP-7968 instances varies considerably, but the following characteristics of SCP-7968-1 are consistent across the vast majority of instances:
The object is a white human female, aged 43-47 years.
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The object's listed numerical designation is between 3000 and 3999.
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The object's primary anomalous property is the routine manifestation of several nondescript metal folding chairs in its immediate vicinity. The chairs are not acknowledged as being themselves anomalous.
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The object is regarded with disinterest by personnel. It is not clear if this is a secondary anomalous property or merely non-anomalous apathy.
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No records of an object with these qualities are known to have ever existed in the Foundation database. When questioned, Site-43 personnel universally claim to have no memory of an object matching the above description being contained there at any point in the site's history.
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Addendum: Several recent SCP-7968 instances reference a "Dr. Shepherd" as being the research head for SCP-7968-1. Records indicate that no individual with this name has ever been employed at Site-43. Instances that reference this individual also often detail their cold treatment of SCP-7968-1 and the anomaly's continual attempts to establish an emotional connection with them. The purpose this serves is once again unknown; no definitive connection between "Dr. Shepherd" and any past or present member of Site-43 staff has been established.
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Addendum: In addition to information that would be relevant to the containment and study of such an anomaly if it existed, SCP-7968 instances have begun to also often contain irrelevant personal details about SCP-7968-1 that an actual SCP file would not document. Recurring details include an affinity for sunflowers, an unfulfilled interest in astronomy, and a strong desire to raise a child. The purpose of these inclusions, if it exists, is unknown. No new insight into the nature of SCP-7968 has been gained from analysis of the additions.
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Addendum: Since 12/9/2022, SCP-7968 instances have begun to include the insertion of non-clinical elements into affected files. These elements include prose passages, poems, and what appear to be notes to an unknown individual. The majority of these elements appear to be written from the same perspective. An example is attached below:
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there is a place
+beyond the concrete and window glass,
+beyond the laughing children and glowing sunflowers,
+beyond the cold moon and blazing stars.
+i have been there
+in my dreams:
+the endless white,
+countless deafblind souls
+stumbling for something
+to hold onto and,
+finding nothing,
+screaming at a god
+who will never hear.
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where are you?
+i yearn for your monotonous questions
+to cut through the buzzing;
+i yearn for your cold stare
+to pierce the fluorescence.
+a cold body is still a surface
+for oxygen to bounce off of.
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do people still
+pass by this place?
+i listen for hours
+and hear nothing
+but the vents
+if only i had a window
+to watch the world from
+while i sit in this chair.
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when i woke up this morning,
+i covered my eyes
+with my forearm
+and the light still
+shone through.
+i am starting to hear
+the wailing and screaming
+as i lie awake
+in my bed.
+i wonder if i will
+join them soon.
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The relevance that this and similar non-clinical additions have to the rest of SCP-7968 instances is unclear. It has been suggested by research personnel that analyzing these additions may be useful for identifying the source of SCP-7968; an investigation is currently underway.
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Addendum: Since 23/7/2023, no new SCP-7968 instances have been detected in the Foundation database. As it has been more than one year since the last sign of activity from SCP-7968, a request to reclassify the anomaly as Neutralized has been filed and is currently pending.
SCP-8001 and the island of Last Watch, as approached from the east.
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Assigned Site
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Site Director
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Research Head
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Assigned Task Force
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Site-99
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Dr. Kaitlyn Kota
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Dr. Carter Christian
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Ω-91 "Sentinels"
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Special Containment Procedures: Due to the relative difficulty of accessing SCP-8001 without assistance, SCP-8001 is considered to be generally self-containing. In the time since SCP-8001 was discovered by Foundation personnel and a base of operations was established therein, only three civilian vessels have come within 150km of an access point, and none met any of the other understood prerequisites for passage through those access points.
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Mobile Task Force Ω-91 "Sentinels" will maintain a persistent perimeter around the most common access points to SCP-8001 by way of a single Raymond Howe-class patrol vessel to be anchored at the K-162 floating research platform, roughly 25km from access point "Aleph".
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Gaining access to SCP-8001 is not a well understood process. Personnel attempting to reach SCP-8001 and the island of Last Watch should observe Protocol 8001-105 (detailed later in this document), which dictates the position, orientation, date, time of day, and atmospheric characteristics vessels are believed to need in order to pass into SCP-8001. Failed attempts to pass into SCP-8001 will result in the vessel simply ending up further west than SCP-8001's understood position, at which point vessels may return to K-162 to attempt passage at a later date.
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SCP-8001 can only be accessed by a floating vessel. Flying machines, such as airplanes, helicopters, airships, or gliders will inevitably find themselves blinded by the clouds of water vapor that surround SCP-8001, regardless of the altitude or speed they are flying at, and regardless of their proximity to a vessel that makes successful passage. SCP-8001 causes significant interference with radar and other imaging devices, making tracking vessels passing in and out of SCP-8001 difficult. Similarly, submersible vessels cannot pass into SCP-8001 unless they are surfaced throughout their passage, as direct line of sight with Last Watch is believed to be a prerequisite required to make the journey.
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The existence of SCP-8001 is routinely discussed within fringe internet communities and other "flat earth" groups, making information suppression of SCP-8001 relatively simple due to obfuscation by association. The existence of SCP-8001 does not negate the truth of the Earth being spherical, and the makeup of communities determined to assert the existence of SCP-8001 or discover its location (along with the rhetoric used and adjacent conspiracy theories touted as fact by their membership) act as an informal barrier against discovery by more serious civilian scientific entities.
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Passage beyond SCP-8001 is not currently believed to be survivable. Individuals who pass over SCP-8001 are considered lost.
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Tower of Sunset on the Isle of Last Watch, situated on the edge of SCP-8001, as viewed by drone from the west.
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Description: SCP-8001 is the edge of the planet Earth. The geological, geographical, or ontological origin of SCP-8001 is unknown, and its existence in spite of the obvious and scientifically verified spherical shape of the planet exists as a logical impossibility that serves as the primary academic goal of researchers assigned to SCP-8001. SCP-8001 is not an extra-planar space or pocket dimension - research teams stationed at Site-99 on the island of Last Watch can be detected by GPS, can use satellites to make telephone calls or transfer information digitally, and have launched rockets or flares that are visible to persons who are not within SCP-8001's locality.
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SCP-8001 exists as a sheer edge running north to south in the southern Pacific Ocean, over which the waters of the Pacific flow freely into an indeterminably deep void beyond. Approaches to SCP-8001 by ship are precarious - vessels can easily get caught in the rapidly moving water and be swept over the edge unless they follow a carefully charted path that maneuvers them past a series of shoals that break up the flow of water, which ends up in a sheltered bay at the island of Last Watch. This same passage can be made in reverse, allowing vessels to transit to and from SCP-8001 with relative safety, so long as they are following the correct passageway.
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SCP-8001 creates a substantial amount of water vapor, which serves to obscure the vicinity around SCP-8001 from outside observation (SCP-8001 cannot be viewed from satellites or any other overhead camera, including those launched from within SCP-8001). It is not known how far SCP-8001 extends in the northern and southern directions, as any attempts to navigate away from Last Watch by ship inevitably ends in the vessel being swept over the edge of SCP-8001, and any attempts to do the same from the air will either become lost in or obscured by the spray.
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One of several remains of wooden sailing vessels wrecked on the shallow shoals around the island of Last Watch. Due to the damage incurred over many years of decay, the age and origin of these vessels are difficult to determine.
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The navigable portion of the waters leading to SCP-8001 end at a rocky outcrop that rises up from the sea floor, forming a small island roughly 1.2km2 in area. The easternmost section of the island contains a small bay surrounded by shoals, from which the rest of the island can be accessed by way of a narrow staircase cut into the rock. At the center and north of the island is a mostly flat, wooded section upon which grow a variety of different kinds of trees, grasses and brush1. To the south of this area is a small rocky hill that serves as the home to a small graveyard, and to the west is a narrow outcrop of rock that hangs over the edge of SCP-8001. A robust wooden walkway protrudes out over this outcrop, allowing individuals to pass over the edge of SCP-8001 without falling.
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It is upon the flat wooded area that the Tower of Sunset is located, a moderately sized stone structure built in many conflicting architectural styles, likely over the course of many hundreds or thousands of years. The primary exterior portions of the tower are built in the ancient Roman ionic style, with the westward facing portico being an open gallery of limestone pillars supporting a triangular pediment, which extends back into a mostly rectangular inner cella that has been added onto on all sides. There are examples of 17th century Spanish and 5th century Chinese influences, as well as more modern architecture dating as late as the early 19th century, with some fixtures being identified as originating from Britain, the United States, France, and the Netherlands. The primary (and seemingly oldest) feature of the tower is the tower itself, which is constructed in a mixture of Greek, Egyptian, Roman, and Mesoamerican styles.
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The reflector dish for the Tower of Sunset lighthouse.
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The tower serves two distinct purposes. Its primary role is as an oil lamp and reflector lighthouse, which is maintained by an 18th century automatic re-lighting system that appears to have at some point been retrofitted with more modern bearings and timing elements. The secondary role is as a library; the main floor of the tower, as well as most of the tower itself and the two small basement levels all serve as an information repository for texts and writings seemingly collected over several hundred years of exploration that ended at SCP-8001. There are examples of journals, logs, charts, maps, diaries, and other texts in a wide variety of languages, including Latin, French, Greek, Farsi, English, German, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, Korean, Urdu, Portuguese, Amharic, and many others, as well as pictographic languages such as Nahuatl and ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs. The collection also contains a single piece of modern digital media storage - an early model Sony .mp3 player, manufactured in 2003, within a watertight plastic case, which is believed to have washed up on the island entirely by chance. Despite its watertight case, the .mp3 player was damaged irrevocably by water ingress and is no longer operable.
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An unusually ornate section of the Tower of Sunset library, including furnishings and woodwork believed to have been repurposed from a Portuguese merchant vessel.
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Much care has been made to preserve the texts within the library at the Tower of Sunset, as evident by the significant amount of technology that has been fitted into the original ancient structures over many years to reduce the effects of moisture, light, and aging on the texts contained therein. Many of the texts have been transliterated from their ancient sources into newer, more resilient articles, but there are many that have decayed past the point of legibility. The oldest known piece of writing on the island, a set of Egyptian tablets dating back to what is believed to be at least 2300 BCE, are worn down past the point where they could be translated and are preserved only as a reference point. The most recent document found on the island prior to the Foundation's discovery of it in 1944, was a Chinese sea chart believed to have been printed in 1925, altered significantly in an apparent attempt by the owner to make sense of SCP-8001, and to attempt to chart a path away from it.
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Prior to the Foundation's arrival, the island of Last Watch had a single inhabitant - a sentient mechanical construct who maintained both the library and the lighthouse, as well as being a general caretaker of the island grounds. This entity, identified as SCP-8001-A, self-identified as "Aurélie", and claimed to be the reconstituted sapience of a 16th century French explorer who had been marooned on the island at some point in the past. SCP-8001-A is a clockwork entity, whose locomotion and speech are controlled by a complex series of gears, diaphragms, pistons, and pulleys, all designed to mimic human behaviour. For more information on SCP-8001-A, please see Addendum 8001.2 below.
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Addendum 8001.1: Discovery
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The existence of SCP-8001 has been thoroughly debunked throughout most of human history, with early Greeks having conceptualized a spherical Earth as early as the 5th century BCE, and with Eratosthenes calculation of the circumference of the planet in 240 BCE the recognition of the Earth as a sphere became more widespread. Despite this, there have been numerous fringe groups throughout history who have, at different times, claimed the existence of the world as a flat plane with an "edge" running around its exterior. The first known exploration to discover this edge is believed to have been by the ancient Roman sailor Faust Strabo who, having set sail to discover the far west in the year 45 CE, instead ran into hardship as his ship and crew were marooned near modern day Casablanca, their vessel having been unsuitable for blue water travel.
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Portuguese map of the known world, circa 1502. SCP-8001 is identified in text on the far right as "Oceanus Terminum".
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Despite this, numerous instances of writing related to the edge of the earth persist within the historical record. Chinese writer Han Jinhai, writing in the 4th century CE, describes at length an account of fishing vessels and their crews who, having been blown off course by a terrible storm, found themselves "adrift in calm waters amidst a roaring tempest at the place where the world ends". Additionally, a 13th century account of an Indian vessel being lost on the high seas makes note of a "terrible sound in the deep sea, as if the ocean itself were spilling over, and great sheets of white foam fell from the sky onto us". While these accounts do not describe the island of Last Watch or any of the structures thereon, it does perhaps provide the first accounts of individuals who approached SCP-8001 and then returned. It is possible (and indeed likely, considering the age of the Tower of Sunset) that there were many more vessels who approached SCP-8001 and either did not leave written record of their return to the rest of the world, were unable to leave, or as is believed to be the case with the vast majority of vessels, attempted to reach or depart SCP-8001 and were sent over the edge to their doom.
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The possible existence of SCP-8001 was first made apparent to the SCP Foundation by way of a manuscript discovered during a series of arranged document transfers between the Foundation and the Horizon Initiative. The document in question, a detailed sea chart by Russian engineer and seafarer Boris Kozlov2, contained an extensive description of the nature of SCP-8001, including a depiction of the Tower of Sunset. The heading of the note reads as follows:
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A map of, and possible additional routes to, the long line at the end of the Earth, and the tall tower that rests there, which by way of a bright light gives warning to vessels in their approach to a catastrophic end which, by passing beyond, offers no hope of life or continuance of any kind…
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Due to the presumed remote location and logical impossibility of SCP-8001, no action was taken to seek out and ascertain the existence of SCP-8001. The chart was held in storage at Site-19 until March of 1942, when a Foundation vessel sailing between Panama and Auckland, NZ passed close enough to SCP-8001 to see "a lighthouse, shining clearly, where no land is charted and no abnormality is known to exist." Further investigation of the area in the year following this initial passage revealed no sign of land - however, teams working to identify the unusual sighting rediscovered the Kozlov Chart in storage and, using it as a rough guide, were able to make the first confirmed, intended sighting of the Tower of Sunset in October of 1943. Early the following year, two additional voyages were undertaken to attempt to reach SCP-8001. The first of these lost contact with a radio station in French Polynesia and was never heard from again3. The second expedition, lead by Captain Erol Meyer and the ship SCPS Windswept, found the passageway through the shoals near SCP-8001 and moored at the Island of Last Watch.
+
Addendum 8001.2: SCP-8001-A
+
Captain Meyer, along with a contingent of researchers from Site-402, made initial contact with SCP-8001-A, who had noticed their approach and was waiting for the team near the small dock by the bay. SCP-8001-A was described by Captain Meyer as:
+
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…a peculiar contraption, possessing unmistakably mechanical features yet resembling a human figure in a curious manner. Clad in a modest gown and drab cloak, it boasts a slender frame of admirable craftsmanship and aesthetic appeal. Silhouetted against the light, one might easily mistake it for a woman, save for the moment it engages in conversation, dispelling any such illusion. Though its physical construction is a marvel of engineering, its method of articulation appears antiquated by contemporary standards. Nevertheless, its speech, though tinged with a discernible French inflection, is articulate and confident, bearing no resemblance to the mechanical mimicry of human speech…
+
+
The initial interview with SCP-8001-A was conducted by Dr. Ivan Mann, who had accompanied Captain Meyer on the expedition, and was recorded. A transcript of this recording is below.
Dr. Mann: This is a machine that can make a record of our conversation. This part here… yes, this, it is the part that captures our speech.
+
SCP-8001-A: Fascinating. And these moving parts?
+
Dr. Mann: Magnetic film, where the sound is captured. It is both the pen and paper of the recording, to use an analogy.
+
SCP-8001-A: The pen and paper. I see. My voice will be stored here?
+
Dr. Mann: It will, yes. Here, let me-
+
Dr. Mann disconnects the recorder and plays the tape back to SCP-8001-A. In his notes about this exchange, Dr. Mann called SCP-8001-A "delighted" at the sound of its own voice.
+
Dr. Mann: There we go, now we're recording again. Now, on to the matter at hand. Could you tell me your name again, for our record?
+
SCP-8001-A: Yes. I am Aurélie.
+
Dr. Mann: Who was it who constructed you?
+
SCP-8001-A: What you see, this machine, it was built long before I came here. The original engineer was, I believe, Italian, though I do not know when it was constructed. It was kept in storage below when I arrived, and myself and my partner Armond spent some time working to complete it.
+
Dr. Mann: You mean to say you were once like us?
+
SCP-8001-A: In some ways. The part of me that was who I was before was like you. I came here as many came here, by accident, but while the others sought to try their luck with the waters only myself and Armond stayed behind. The ship that brought us here, and the men we sailed with, did not survive the journey back.
+
Dr. Mann: They went over the edge, you mean?
+
SCP-8001-A: Most do. Your vessel is in very unique company, I'm afraid. I have watched this tower for hundreds of years, and all but a handful of vessels who follow the lighthouse are caught in the rush of the falls and go over. Admittedly, the original builders of this tower did not seem to recognize their folly - lighthouses are built on dangerous rocks, to guide ships away from them. This may be the only lighthouse in the world where the danger is anywhere but directly towards it.
+
Dr. Mann: This thing you are now, how did you end up like this?
+
SCP-8001-A: You must forgive me, the circumstances of my transformation are not something that is well-recorded here. My memory of the time before I became like this is limited; what I know, I know from the things I had written, and the writings of others. I know I was wounded once, why I cannot say, but it was shortly after our arrival. The former keeper of this place was a man named Oladapo - he was, I believe, the one who suggested that I become as I am now upon the termination of my previous form.
+
They pause.
+
SCP-8001-A: Apologies, there is not much more I remember from that time. The early incarnation of this form was incomplete, and it did take quite some time for myself and Armond to finish it.
+
Dr. Mann: You said the former keeper; was there someone here when you landed?
+
SCP-8001-A: It is my understanding that there has always been someone here, in one way or another. There are records within this library going back several thousand years, and alongside them have been the notes and journals of those who, like myself, were tasked with keeping those records safe. Oladapo was the keeper before me, and Xhu before him, and Petra before him. By my count there have been sixty-three such keepers on this island of Last Watch, though it is not beyond reason that there were others who were here before there were records kept.
+
Dr. Mann: You called this place the "Island of Last Watch"; I heard you say that earlier as well. Do you know where that name came from?
+
SCP-8001-A: The first text here that names this place is a journal written by a man named Jason, who called it the "…last watch before the end". His gravestone sits at the top of the stairwell coming up from the bay - you may have seen it in your passing. Written on it were the words "Jason of Iolcus, tender of the last watch", though all that remains legible now are the last three words, as the rest were lost when the stone partially collapsed some years ago. Those who arrived afterwards seemed to believe the marker was a nameplate for the island itself, and have thus identified it so.
+
Dr. Mann: That's interesting. And the tower as well?
+
SCP-8001-A: The Tower of Sunset was first identified as such in an architectural drawing of the northern portico, likely due to an etching of a setting sun that was present in the original tower that faced in that same direction.
+
Dr. Mann: Who built the tower, originally?
+
SCP-8001-A: I don't know. The tower predates even the oldest written record here by at least many hundreds of years. The first text here that references the tower says "…built upon the very foundation of the world, in this place, a spire that rises through time itself, ancient and extraordinary…". The hand that penned that line left this world more than two-thousand years ago.
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum 8001.3: Excerpts from Collected Documents
+
The following are several excerpts from documents archived within the Tower of Sunset, provided by SCP-8001-A, which reference SCP-8001 itself.
+
From the 14th century journal of Eduardo Genevese:
+
+
…a sight of great profundity, to behold the waves of the vast ocean surging downward into the heavens. Gazing intently into the mist, one discerns somber silhouettes – mayhap stones or vessels ensnared below, yet to plummet into the abyss. The sensation that grips the soul whilst standing upon this precipice is naught but a communion betwixt mortal and the divine. Such an overpowering apprehension of ultimate fate could only be ordained by the hand of God.
+
+
From a 4th century text, likely Byzantine in origin:
+
+
Verily, this locale stands as the vestibule to the celestial realm beyond our earthly abode, for hither lies the limit where mortal feet may not tread. The splendor that graces this hallowed ground suffices as testament to its verity.
+
+
From a document written by 17th century entrepreneur and explorer John Russell:
+
+
5th of August, the year of our Lord sixteen hundred and twenty six,
+
On this present day, the hour of man's ascendancy hath arrived! Lo, we have accomplished the craft of aerial conveyance, a marvel to behold. The fabric unfurls beneath the radiant beams of dawn, whilst His Majesty's ensign dances aloft in the breeze. Yea, this day heralds our ascent into the heavens, to venture unto those far-off realms that lie beyond the confines of our terrestrial sphere, realms hitherto untrodden by mortal foot, and from whence few have returned! Verily, the mechanical contrivance, in its semblance of sentience, hath voiced its dissent against our enterprise. Yet let it be known henceforth that the apprehensions of the Gauls shall not today dissuade the steadfast resolve of the noble progeny of England!
+
+
From a document transliterated from its original, now lost, text:
+
+
Before us, the earth seemed to fall away into nothingness, a sheer drop into oblivion that stretched as far as the eye could see. The horizon, once a distant promise of new horizons and uncharted territories, now marked the boundary between existence and the great unknown.
+
+
Addendum 8001.4: The Journal of Lord Theodore Thomas Blackwood
+
Discovered among the documents catalogued within the Tower of Sunset is an excerpt from the Journal of Lord Theodore Thomas Blackwood, a self-described explorer, naturalist and "Conqueror of Uncharted Realms". Notably, Lord Blackwood is contained at Site-19 and has been classified as SCP-1867.
+
The journal of Lord Blackwood found within the Tower of Sunset archives displays the characteristic bravado of its author throughout, up until the entry describing Lord Blackwood's team having found SCP-8001. Thereafter the writing becomes noticeably concise and abbreviated, describing in short how his team surveyed the island, briefly spoke to the "clever automaton, masquerading as a Parisian, who attends diligently to the illumination of the lighthouse", before saying a prayer and departing to the east. The text of this journal was found to be so out of character for its supposed author that, shortly after having returned from his initial expedition to SCP-8001, Dr. Mann sought out a meeting with SCP-1867 to discuss it.
Dr. Mann: SCP-1867, I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me.
+
SCP-1867: Well of course, it's not as though I find myself engaged in many other pursuits whilst confined to my chambers for these past several years.
+
Dr. Mann: Recently I took part in a sailing expedition to-
+
SCP-1867: Ah! The high seas. A favorite of mine own, during my youth.
+
Dr. Mann: So I have gathered, yes. We arrived at our destination and discovered a journal of yours there we had not seen before, and not one I believe you've mentioned in the past.
+
SCP-1867: Is that so? I daresay I've been quite thorough in my examination of my various past affairs with you and your associates, I can't imagine what I may have missed. Can you produce the document?
+
Dr. Mann: I can, in fact - I copied some of the text here-
+
Dr. Mann presents SCP-1867 with a transcription of the original text. SCP-1867 moves to the edge of its aquarium and takes a moment to read the journal.
+
SCP-1867: Ah. Yes.
+
Dr. Mann: This was written by you, then?
+
SCP-1867: It was.
+
Dr. Mann: We noticed some irregularities… in the writing, starting at this section here. I wanted to ask if you had another individual write this section, or-
+
SCP-1867: No, sir. This journal was penned by my hand.
+
Dr. Mann: Then the change in tone?
+
SCP-1867: (Pauses) If you are anticipating some kind of dark revelation here, I must regrettably inform you that your expectations shall not be met.
+
Dr. Mann: We just found it peculiar. Your writing generally has such… abundance, but here you've found the literal edge of the world and can't spare but a handful of paragraphs describing it.
+
SCP-1867: Were you expecting something more?
+
Dr. Mann: I must admit, I was.
+
SCP-1867: And so was I. The expedition that led us to that locale was fraught with danger at every turn. We braved fierce tempests, encountered a fearsome kraken upon the tumultuous waves, repelled assaults from both pirates and mutineers, all in pursuit of our dearly sought destination - the very brink of existence. And then…
+
Dr. Mann: And then what?
+
SCP-1867: That was it. We reached the edge, and there was no further to go.
+
Dr. Mann: I don't understand. You discovered something that should not exist. You returned from it, something I'm told was once a near impossibility. In all your many tales and tellings, all the incredible things you claim to have seen and experienced, what could be more monumental than this?
+
SCP-1867: Indeed, that is the crux of the matter, is it not, Doctor? There was perpetually another adventure awaiting, another creature to vanquish, another maiden to rescue, or a foreign regime to topple. My existence has been one of myriad distant horizons, and in my fervent pursuit of them, I have witnessed and accomplished remarkable feats. However, the instant I perched upon that rock and gazed into the veiled expanse beyond, I sensed… naught but emptiness.
+
Dr. Mann: You felt nothing at all?
+
SCP-1867: (Pauses) That place, the roaring water and the mist, that is the last horizon. There are none beyond it - not for you, or me, or anyone else. It is the edge of the map, a place we cannot pass beyond. There are no more stories to be told there.
+
SCP-1867 pauses again, and turns to move back deeper into his aquarium.
+
SCP-1867: Truthfully, doctor, I did experience one profound feeling when I saw that place. I realized the world is not nearly as big as I had once dreamt it to be.
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum 8001.5: The Journal of Adán Sedano, Keeper of the Tower
+
+
That morning I descended from the tower as the rays of the sun stretched their golden fingers across the island, casting long shadows that danced upon the edges of the tower's walls. There, beneath the shade of the ancient rosewoods, sat the aged watchman, his gaze fixed upon the distant western sky. His countenance, weathered by the years of solitary toil in the care of our archives, bore a rare tranquility as I approached to offer my aid for the day's tasks, and perhaps a tome to occupy his leisure.
+
It is his smile that lingers most vividly in my memory - a serene expression that had eluded him for many a season. The passage of time had etched deep furrows upon his visage, yet on that morn, his gruff demeanor gave way to a moment of geniality as he bid me join him in silent contemplation, the morning light shimmering upon the drops of water.
+
Inquiring after my youth, he sought tales of my past life in the Holy Land, of my lineage and upbringing. Recollections of distant memories stirred within me as I recounted my aspirations of exploration and worldly discovery, while he, in turn, recounted his own past endeavors and aspirations. "Once," he confessed, "I harbored dreams of following in my father's footsteps as a carpenter, a shipwright. Yet fate had other designs."
+
In the ensuing discourse, he regaled me with tales of his travels, his loves, his fears, and the myriad wonders and oddities encountered in his journeys across distant lands. Enthralled, I listened intently as he spun his tales into the weft of time.
+
As twilight draped its cloak upon the world, he turned to me with a gaze brimming with fervent resolve, as though seeking answers within my very soul. He spoke of the enigmatic nature of our abode, where countless odysseys had reached their terminus, their mysteries left unresolved. In a voice weighted with solemnity, he posed a question that lingered in the air like the echoes of a forgotten lament: What worth, he asked, did such answers hold for a man? What worth did they hold for me? Bereft of an adequate response, I could only ponder his words in silence.
+
That night, he bestowed upon me his cherished journal, bidding me to add it to our repository come the morrow. "Tomorrow," he declared, "let it join the annals of our record. I fear I have naught more to impart."
+
Come the dawn, I awoke to find him gone, leaving behind naught but folded robes and sandals beneath the ancient rosewoods. His absence lingered as a silent testament to the transient nature of existence, and I never beheld his countenance again.
+
+
Addendum 8001.6: Dialogue with SCP-8001-A
+
The following is a transcript of a conversation between Dr. Ivan Mann and SCP-8001-A, upon the former's return to SCP-8001-A in 19484. SCP-8001-A had approached Dr. Mann while he was transcribing his own recorded notes, allowing him to easily record their conversation.
Dr. Mann: There, now we're ready. What's on your mind?
+
SCP-8001-A: I was wondering - you have spent much time here studying the archive. I have spent much, much more time than you doing the same. I am wondering now what your summation is of these texts, to see if my own analysis somehow falls short of biological humans.
+
Dr. Mann: I sincerely doubt you have any such shortcomings. As for these books, it is difficult to say. So many of them end the same way. They're either delusional, and preparing to sail over the edge and to their deaths, or they're distraught about what this place is, what it means.
+
SCP-8001-A: What do you mean?
+
Dr. Mann: Well… what kind of person finds a place like this?
+
SCP-8001-A: Sailors, generally.
+
Dr. Mann: No no, I mean… what are the characteristics of the kind of person who would seek out a place like this? Who sees the edge of a map and desires to travel to it?
+
SCP-8001-A: Those with an intrepid spirit, I would suppose. Adventurers, explorers.
+
Dr. Mann: Yes. Those who want to write stories, and have their stories be known. They aren't so different from myself, you know - in many ways, what I'm doing here is something of an adventure as well. The information we're gathering may be different, but the reason we're doing it is the same. You see a part of the map that isn't filled in, and you go there to find out what's missing.
+
SCP-8001-A: I see.
+
Dr. Mann: So they come here, and they find this place, and they realize… this is all it is. They can't travel any further past this point. Even now, with our modern technology, the very nature of this place is a wall beyond which the knowledge of man does not extend. All those stories, and all those storytellers - this place is anathema to them. It's the back of the book.
+
SCP-8001-A: I understand. I have often wondered about them, the ones I have met. I have spent a considerable amount of time here, but my focus has been on maintaining this tower, and the library, and the grounds. Maintaining the graves on the hill, and tending to the trees and grasses. I admit, I have not often considered the meaning of this place, or what a place like this means to those who find it. I once considered it perhaps a deficiency in the construction of the form I now inhabit, but… perhaps not.
+
Dr. Mann: What do you mean?
+
SCP-8001-A: I once told you about how I came to be here, and told you about my friend Armond. In truth, I believe that before my transfiguration we had been more than friends, for the tenderness he showed me during the early years of my new life was, in retrospect, unusually sincere. There were many years at the beginning where I was unable to move adequately, to help him with the tasks around the island after Oladapo passed away, and it would be even more years until I was able to speak to him. But every day he would spend time with me, working on the mechanisms that keep me alive, making me more of what I had been before. At night, we would sit together outside and he would sing to me, songs I must have loved once. Songs like from a dream.
+
They pause.
+
SCP-8001-A: When I could speak, he helped to teach me about what I had lost. We became lost in our books, in these ancient scrolls and catalogues. I think Armond realized then what I would not understand for some time after - the time I had been granted was significantly more than what he had left. Our work was feverish, but he was never unkind. He would tell me how happy he was to be here with me, at the end of all things. He told me that even if we could not be together forever, he was content to have had the chance to be with me now.
+
Dr. Mann: What happened to him?
+
SCP-8001-A: I cannot explain it, not truly. One day I realized he had grown old - he was slow to rise, and had trouble seeing. But he was still tender and kind. I remember one day we were sitting together, speaking as we often did about how this place had ever come to exist. He was quiet, for a time, and then told me that he did not know for certain, but that he believed that there had once been many places like this in the world - parts of the map that had not been explored. All of them, he said, would eventually be filled in, but not this one. "What a miracle," he had said. "What a miracle, to not know what comes next. What greater mystery could there be than this?"
+
They pause.
+
SCP-8001-A: He walked out past the end of the pier, one night. I ran to him, afraid that he would fall, but he never fell. He took one step, and then another, and continued to walk as the sun set in front of him. He turned back one more time before the sun slipped into the darkness below, and for just a moment I could have sworn he was young again. He smiled at me, and waved, and then he was gone.
+
They pause.
+
SCP-8001-A: Maybe there is nothing beyond these falls, Ivan. Maybe this really is the end of the story. There are so many who believe that to be true. But perhaps… perhaps it's not the back of the book. Perhaps this is just the turning of the page. Perhaps, even here at the edge of the world, there are still stories left to be written.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8062 is to be stored in a Standard Containment Locker in the Anomalous Objects Storage Room in Site-161. Access of SCP-8062 is to be limited to Class-B personnel and above for strictly research purposes.
+
Description: SCP-8062 is a blank cotton painting canvas. Since acquisition of the anomalous object in December 2023, SCP-8062 has consistently manifested acrylic-based paints onto its surface (Hitherto referred to as Event 8062/1). These manifestations typically depict a singular individual performing an action. Event 8062/1 also manifests a message carved into the back of the canvas.
+
Event 8062/1 occurs at the start of every month at midnight. The manifestations remain attached to the canvas for exactly twenty-four (24) hours. All attempts to capture the moment of manifestation or disintegration of SCP-8062 have ended in failure, and the method or reason of Event 8062/1 occuring is currently unknown.
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum 8062.1
+Records of Manifestations
+
+
+
2024/1/1:
+Manifestation: Subject in his bedroom.
+Message: Man, I need to get all of this work done fast. Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/2/1:
+Manifestation: Subject consuming food in a mall.
+Message: Today, I ate Sushiro. Absolutely delicious as always. I love the Mentai Cheese. Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/3/1:
+Manifestation: Subject taking notes in a lecture hall.
+Message: [Detailed notes on actuarial mathematics. Condensed.]
+
2024/4/1:
+Manifestation: Subject sitting in an association football game.
+Message: We lost 5-0. Get Roy outta here! Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/5/1:
+Manifestation: Subject in a car.
+Message: I lost the arcade game three times in a row :( Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/6/1:
+Manifestation: Subject looking outside a plane.
+Message: Boston, MA, Here I come! Lobsters are not safe. Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/7/1:
+Manifestation: Subject sleeping in a dorm room.
+Message: I did not sleep last night at all! 10 hour catch-up session? Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/8/1:
+Manifestation: A dark room. Subject not present.
+Message: Oh shite, I partied way too latt last nighte! Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/9/1:
+Manifestation: Subject taking a test in a classroom.
+Message: Gah, I think I did well? Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/10/1:
+Manifestation: Subject holding a test paper.
+Message: Evidence indeed shows that I indeed did not do well. Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/11/1:
+Manifestation: Subject holding a bucket of candy.
+Message: Loot from last night :D Signed, Xavier.
+
2024/12/1:
+Manifestation: Subject walking.
+Message: Holy shit it is cold in Beijing. I don't think I can make it. Signed, Xavier.
At 11:12 PM, 2024/12/31, SCP-8062 began to vibrate and emit sounds similar to fireworks. This process continued for twenty-seven (27) more minutes, with the sounds growing in decibels.
+
At 11:39 PM, sparks of fire and smoke were released from SCP-8062.
+
At 11:59 PM, the front canvas of SCP-8062 began to char. Eyewitness reports that sounds of children laughing can be now audibly heard.
+
10 seconds before 12:00 PM, 2024/12/31, SCP-8062 began to burn. Eyewitness reports that sounds to a countdown can be now audibly heard.
+
At exactly 12:00 PM, 2025/1/1, SCP-8062 combusted, releasing chemical reactions resembling the process in which most commercial fireworks are released. Charred cotton and other substances now revealed to be a mixture of Strontium Nitrate and Copper (I) Chloride drifted to the Anomalous Objects Storage Room's ground for the next three (3) minutes.
+
From this event, thirteen (13) lockers in the Anomalous Objects Storage Room were either damaged or destroyed. Due to the anti-explosive materials that the lockers were constructed with, no anomalous objects were damaged from this event.
+
SCP-8062's object class was altered from "Safe" to "Neutralized", and the remnants of the object was brought to the General Research Room in Site-161 for research purposes.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8706 is to be kept within a one acre plot of land that is fenced off from the rest of ███████ Community Forest. No attempts shall be made to relocate the anomaly for any reason unless approved by the site director. If any civilians are detected either from the perimeter observation towers or through satellite surveillance, MTF Psi-21 (Sceptre’s Hand) are to intercept and redirect the person(s), using available cover stories (detailed in Document-8706-2.17), or non-lethal force and administration of class-B amnestics where applicable. No items are to be left inside SCP-8706, as this can cause fatal injuries upon testing. All cabin doors are to remain closed outside of testing to preserve the cabin interiors and integrity of the anomaly. Any instances of SCP-8706-A are to be terminated on sight.
+
Description: SCP-8706 is an assortment of six single-story log cabins on stilts, with one door and two opaque windows located at the front of each cabin. Each cabin is designated with numbers one through six. All six cabins possess the same dimensions: four meters in length, six meters in width, and eight meters in height. Additionally, all six cabins are positioned in a circle around a symbol joined with the ground. The symbol itself is made with material that has been determined to be extra-terrestrial, and appears as three intersecting lines forming six vertical angles facing each cabin. However, within the space allotted for cabin.6, there is a line pointing due north toward where the cabin should be standing. At the time of discovery, cabin.6 was missing and still has yet to be located and contained. The existence of cabin.6 is only suggested by the remaining stilts left in its place.
+
The anomalous nature of the cabins themselves are their ability to teleport a person or item instantaneously between each other without crossing any intervening spaces. This is achieved by entering any cabin and closing the door. Then upon exiting, a person or item will find themselves present at one of the other cabins. Through testing, it has been determined that the transition from cabin to cabin is entirely random. For example, cabin.1 will not always lead to cabin.2. However, the results can be controlled by leaving cabin doors open. A cabin that has its door open cannot be teleported to. Therefore, transport from cabin.1 to cabin.2 can be guaranteed if the doors of all other cabins are open. Despite this, it remains a mystery on how to reach cabin.6, as none of the cabins teleport to it. There has been one report of entering the location, however the source is not entirely trustworthy.
+
SCP-8706-A are dark humanoid entities, lacking any visible features beyond the structure and appearance of a human male. SCP-8706-A are mostly docile (See Incident Log 8706-4.14), giving the perception as something in the corner of your eye, as they tend to quickly vanish when looked at directly. SCP-8706-A are tied to close proximity with the cabins, being visible up to five miles away from the site or the undetermined and migrating location of cabin.6. Most reports detail SCP-8706-A being distant and simply stalking personnel or civilians. However, there are certain cases where SCP-8706-A have proven to be violent: lacerating, dismembering, and/or kidnapping its victims.
+
+
Incident Log 8706-4.14:
+
+
To date, SCP-8706-A have been responsible for numerous disappearances of civilians and even foundation personnel.
+
Handwritten letter recovered from █████████████ Elementary School:
+“Alice, do you want to go play at the cabin after school again?
+It’s so fun!
+The dark man showed me he can poof away when he closes the door.
+This will change the game of tag forever!”
+
Message from Dr. ███████ to Dr. ██████:
+“George,
+I’m sending this to you from the safehouse, in the hope that it does not find me here.
+Put the site on full lockdown. Hell, if I were you, I would put the pulse sonar down.
+The security access code is ████. I know this is coming out of nowhere, and I’m not
+the one authorized for this but you HAVE to trust me.
+I’ll try to make my way to you.”
+
Security system triggered by the first contact with SCP-8706-A:
+“SIGNAL RECEIVED FROM CONSTELLATION SIX, EARTH…
+LIFEFORM LOCATION TRANSMITTED TO APPROPRIATE INDEX…
+WARNING: UNRECOGNIZED LIFEFORM…
+WARNING: THREAT LEVEL UNKNOWN…
+SACREMENT…”
+
Field operatives be advised that all reports or hints of SCP-8706-A must be investigated immediately. Any involved person in such reports not authorized to know the existence or details of SCP-8706 and SCP-8706-A must be administered amnestics following interviews and collection of any tangible evidence.
Special Containment Procedures: Undercover containment personnel have been integrated into religious organizations, online religious forums and social media. Should any participants demonstrate signs of a potential "litigious" event, implicated parties are to be seized, subjected to memetic and cognitohazardous deprogramming, and undergo societal reintegration.
+
Description: SCP-8810 is a spontaneous memetic effect that arises sporadically among individuals associated with major organized religions, neo-pagan practices, folk religions, individualized faiths, and supernatural belief groups. This effect produces a profound belief that the divinity, system of worship, or supernatural entity(ies) has neglected or failed the affected persons, and that the only method for reconciliation is legal action.1
+
SCP-8810 does not preferentially target any specific group of individuals of faith or supernatural belief and does not seem to specifically target individuals experiencing outsized financial, physical, mental, or emotional distress. The first documented litigious event associated with SCP-8810 occurred in 1969, but depictions in cultural media such as The Devil and Daniel Webster potentially indicate that SCP-8810 has been in the public conscience for some time before the initial incident.
+
A list of SCP-8810 incidents is provided in the table below.
+
T-8810-01:
+
+
+
Incident #
+
Date
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Incident Description
+
Outcome
+
+
+
I-8810-01
+
1969
+
Russel T. Tansie filed suit for his secretary, Betty Penrose following a lightning strike on her home. The presented argument was that the Christian God had neglected Mrs. Penrose since the divinity had, supposedly, purchased property within the county. Lou Gottlieb, an American folk singer, had transferred the deed of his ranch property to God earlier in the week.
+
The court found the plaintiff lacked standing, and the presiding judge dismissed the case as God is not a legal entity and therefore cannot own property. Additionally, Plaintiff could not show (as a matter of law) that this act of god was the basis for liability when an act of god is usually basis for the opposite as events not controlled by either party.
+
+
+
I-8810-03
+
1971
+
Bethany Dubois attempted to file suit in South Dakota civil court against Grand Karcist Ion for emotional distress, related to failing to deliver her from the burdens of mortal flesh and thus freeing her from the yoke of existence. Mrs. Dubois had no prior associations with Nälkän or Neo-sarkic groups. It's unclear how Mrs. Dubois became involved with Sarkic religious practices, though some evidence exists that she had ties to the GRU-P.
+
Foundation officials intercepted Mrs. Dubois' court filing and amnesctized the county clerk who, initially, handled the paperwork. When agents raided Mrs. Dubois' estate, she was found in her bedroom, deceased. Cause of death was cyanide poisoning.
+
+
+
I-8810-07
+
1971
+
Stephany Hawkins, a resident of Las Vegas Nevada, initiated legal proceedings for alienation of affection against Robert Bumaro and the divinity Mekhane during the divorce of her husband, a known CotBG operative. Mrs. Hawkins accused Bumaro and Mekhane of leading her husband away from matters of the flesh and thus, sabotaging their marriage through deprivation of emotional connection.
+
Mrs. Hawkins vanished shortly after the filing was submitted. Her husband alleged she went on vacation promptly after proceedings for both the suit and their divorce began. He alleged she had not been returning his calls. Local police opened an investigation into Mrs. Hawkins's disappearance. Upon securing a warrant to search Mr. Hawkins home, they discovered a shrine to Mekhane in his basement, and a large, human-sized pile of scrap metal in one corner. Mr. Hawkins was taken into custody and handed over to the Foundation.
+
+
+
I-8810-08
+
1971
+
Geraldo Mayo filed suit against 'Satan and his staff' in West Pennsylvania before the United States District Court, alleging that Satan had 'levied unwanted threats, inflicted misery, and impeded important events in his life causing his economic and social downfall'. Mr. Mayo could not afford the legal fees to pursue the case and filed in forma pauperis in attempt to have them waived.
+
Foundation officials were unable to intercept the case before it was processed; however, the attending judge rejected legal proceedings due to the plaintiff failing to include instructions on how 'Satan' could be served for trial.
+
+
+
I-8810-51
+
1997
+
George Castero filed legal action against the Greek divinity "Zeus" in both civil and criminal courts before the United States District Court in Eastern Pennsylvania. Mr. Castero alleged that Zeus had 'fucked his wife and turned her into a housecat' and thus filed for both Alienation of Affection. He then called the Philadelphia Police Department to report the crimes of Transmutation2 and Second-Degree Murder.
+
As a consequence of prior knowledge, Foundation agents did not interfere with case proceedings. The Civil court dismissed the case on account of Zeus not being a legal entity and therefore could not own property or incur financial harm. Suspecting potential foul play, local authorities investigated further and discovered that Mr. Castero had financial and emotional motive against his wife.3 The Court notified Foundation Officials, and further investigation determined that Mr. Castero was a type blue associated with the Serpents Hand. He was promptly taken into custody.
+
+
+
I-8810-57
+
1998
+
A joint suit was filed by the players of the Minnesota Vikings against the 'Norse Pantheon' claiming the organization had colluded to make Gary Anderson's game winning kick in the 1998 NFC championship game miss by a foot to the right. Anderson and multiple other players alleged that Loki4, Odin5 and Thor6 had appeared in the sky of the domed stadium and caused the kick to veer slightly right of the uprights.
+
Foundation officials intercepted the filing and brought the entire Vikings team and their coaching staff in for amnestic treatment. Review of the broadcast footage failed to produce any evidence of the alleged events.
+
+
+
I-8810-78
+
2014
+
Marica Applewhite filed legal proceedings against "Lycanthropes". Ms. Applewhite sought 10 million USD for 'Emotional Distress and Alienation of Affection' on account of the defendants failing to fulfill her Omegaverse Fantasies.
+
Foundation officials failed to prevent Ms. Applewhite's paperwork from being filed, due to a clerical error that temporarily disabled Foundation monitoring databases. The court rejected the case on the basis of "Lycanthropes and Werewolves" not being a legitimate organization or business. Additionally, the judge noted that, even if they had been real, suing all Werewolves would have been ludicrous and frivolous. When Ms. Applewhite descended into insults and unruly behavior following the dismissal, the Judge referred to her as "unhinged" and promptly held her in contempt of court for a period of 14 days. Mrs. Applewhite promptly escaped her prison cell through unknown means, though several inmates in the station described a "large, bi-pedal wolf smashing through the walls."
+
+
+
I-8810-84
+
2016
+
In Bihar, India, Chandan Kumar Singh filed suit against the Indian divinity, Rama, in the court of Eastern Bihar. Mr. Singh alleged that Rama had mistreated his wife Sita by asking her to prove she was 'pure', claiming it was important to speak out against such scripture for the betterment of women.
+
Mr. Singh's case was not caught by Foundation Monitoring systems, due to the lack of precedent of SCP-8810 in Indian Courts, and the case went before the court, where it was promptly rejected for being 'impractical'.
+
+
+
I-8810-85
+
2016
+
See Incident Log I-8810-85
+
Reclassification of SCP-8810 to Keter.
+
+
+
+
Incident Log I-8810-85
+
Date: ██/██/2016
+
Foreword: Dave Stillwater filed a lawsuit three months before the events of this incident log; filing a claim against the divinity Inanna, Mesopotamian Queen of Heaven, Goddess of Light, War, Love, and Justice. Mr. Stillwater sought damages for 'Alienation of Affection, Emotional Distress, Social Ostracization, and Discrimination.' Foundation Agents failed to intercept the paperwork or waylay court proceedings.7 Case was filed in The Southern District of New York, United States District court. The following log details the entire event.
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Recording begins depicting a courtroom within the Daniel Patrick Moynihan
+United States Courthouse in lower Manhattan. Mr. Stillwater is seated on the right side, wearing an illfitting, dirty business suit. His lawyer, Mr. R. L. Stanbrook8, is seated next to him, thumbing through multiple files. The lawyer's expression is noted to be content.
+
Bailiff: All rise for the honorable Judge Marrowitz.
+
Judge Marrowitz enters the courtroom and ascends to take the bench.
+
Judge Marrowitz: You may all sit.
+
There are 10 other people in the room other than the claimant, bailiffs and the judge. They retake their seats.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Does the claimant have a copy of the filing?
+
Mr. Stanbrook: I do your honor. May I approach the bench?
+
Judge Marrowitz holds out her hand.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Please do.
+
Mr. Stanbrook approaches the bench, and hands the judge the appropriate binder and forms.
+
Judge Marrowitz: If the court reporter would do so now, please mark this as the start of the initial hearing of civil case TS-820983 -16/NY Stillwater vs…
+
Judge Marrowitz pauses and reads the case file again.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Stillwater vs Inanna.
+
Judge Marrowitz rubs her temples and says something the camera does not pick up.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Mr. Stanbrook, did you deliver notice of the suit to the defendants?
+
Mr. Stanbrook: We did, your honor. The defendant responded to our notice, and affirmed they wished to bring this to the court.
+
Judge Marrowitz stares at Mr. Stanbrook, and then Mr. Stillwater for several seconds.
+
Judge Marrowitz: They’re— I see. Well as the opposing council and their client have not appeared, and it's—
+
Judge Marrowitz checks her watch.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Half an hour past our start time, let’s see the proof that you've contacted the defendants and then we'll go from there.
+
Mr. Stanbrook pulls out several pieces of paper.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: May I approach the bench, your honor?
+
Judge Marrowitz: Go ahead.
+
Mr. Stanbrook enters the pulpit and hands Judge Marrowitz the papers. She looks them over for several seconds mumbling the words 'Spain?' to herself.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Let the record show that the claimants contacted the defendant and they were served. Lets hear the case and requested damages from you and your client directly, and I will render summary judgement from there.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Your honor, my client is seeking civil damages equivalent to 15 million dollars from the defendant, Inanna also known as Abigail Im-Immaru9, Queen of Heaven, Goddess of Light, War, Love, and Justice—
+
Judge Marrowitz: I see you included the full title in the filing as well Mr. Stanbrook, was that necessary?
+
Mr. Stanbrook: My client insisted. My client is suing Mrs. Im-Immaru for Alienation of Affection, Emotional Distress, Social Ostracization, and Discrimination. Following an event where he invested a significant amount of effort to please the defendant in order to ensure 'gain of favor and boons'.
+
Mr. Stanbrook exhibits notable difficulty in keeping a straight face.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Mr. Stillwater is a self-described 'Involuntary Celibate' and alleges that Mrs. Im-Immaru's failure to follow up on an established contract has done egregious harm to his reputation and standing among members of his community.
+
Judge Marrowitz's expression becomes incredulous, but she maintains composure and gestures to Mr. Stillwater.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Mr. Stanbrook do you have evidence of this 'contract'?
+
Mr. Stanbrook holds up a small binder. Judge Marrowitz gestures for Mr. Stanbrook to approach the stand.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: I submit for the court's approval exhibit 1A, 1B, and if you'll direct your attention to the screen, 1C. Proof of contract in the form of photographic evidence, peer reviewed documentation of contract proceedings with the Goddess Inanna, and video evidence showing breach of contract.
+
Judge Marrowitz takes the binder and opens it, a shocked expression crossing her face as she flips through the pages. She then looks up and watches the video play. All court attendees exhibit expressions of shock or disgust. Two people leave the courtroom.
+
[COGNITOHAZARDOUS MATERIAL REMOVED]
+
Judge Marrowitz: Mr. Stillwater, would you please describe for the court how you formed a contract with Inanna?
+
Mr. Stillwater stands, and speaks in a reedy, nasally voice.
+
Mr. Stillwater: If it pleases the court. I converted to Neo-paganism six months ago after a dream where Inanna— Mrs. Im-Immaru appeared to me and said that if I bestowed upon her a glorious gift while reciting the prayer we've submitted to the court, she would shower me with unending favor and promises ending the curse of my involuntary celibacy, by making all the bitches want me.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Mr. Stillwater, you will watch your language in my courtroom.
+
Mr. Stillwater: Sorry, your honor.
+
The cameras pick up Judge Marrowitz speaking to herself at an audio-level that the rest of the court doesn't hear.
+
Judge Marrowitz: What a farce.
+
At a louder volume she says.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Before I issue my ruling, Mr. Stanbrook does your client have any proof that Mrs. Im-Immaru is a real entity with financial holdings?
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Yes, your honor, if you'll flip to the last page, we'll enter exhibit Item 1D, proof of finances.
+
Judge Marrowitz flips to the last page and looks over the statement.
+
Judge Marrowitz: So, just so that the court and I fully understand, Mrs. Im-Immaru co-owns a nightclub in Ibiza, Spain, called the Evening Star, and you're claiming she came to you in a dream, promised you… 'Women'? and favors if you…
+
Judge Marrowitz gestures to the binder.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Did this, and said a prayer to her?
+
Mr. Stillwater: And post it online. She was very specific about that.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Right. So, you did as she instructed, and the outcome has been…
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Social ostracization, harassment, removal from online community and safe spaces, and discrimination in the form of Mrs. Im-Immaru completely ignoring his prayers and pleas. Financial difficulty due to loss of employment.
+
Judge Marrowitz speaks again at a volume the court room can't hear.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Not surprised at all.
+
At a normal volume.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Ok. Mr. Stillwater, one last thing. Would you please read aloud, for the court, the prayer you recited during the aggrieving incident?
+
Mr. Stillwater: Certainly.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Hold on Dave, your honor?
+
Judge Marrowitz: Purely for record keeping purposes.
+
Mr. Stillwater: [COGNITOHAZARDOUS MATERIAL REMOVED]
+
Judge Marrowitz removes her glasses and wipes them with a cloth. She makes a pre-arranged gesture, which the bailiffs respond to by moving towards the claimant’s table. Mr. Stanbrook and Mr. Stillwater are unawares.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Right. Mr. Stillwater, Mr. Stanbrook, with the evidence presented and —
+
????: Hold on just a moment your honor, I haven't had my say yet.
+
A loud electronic noise approximate to Law and Order's 'The Clang' plays.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Camera footage resolves after several seconds. The Courtroom has visibly changed from, for lack of better descriptions, an official government courtroom, to a mud-brick structure with a tile dance floor, neon-lighting, and a bar on the back left side of the chambers.
+
Judge Marrowitz: What on earth?
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Your honor, is this some sort of practical joke?
+
Mr. Stillwater points at the defendant’s table.
+
Mr. Stillwater: See! I told you she was real!
+
Seated at the defendants table is a young woman, late 20's, middleastern descent with brown hair, brown eyes, and dark olive skin. She is wearing jeans, chunky sneakers, and a muscle shirt. Exposed skin, excepting the face, glows with tattoos that both move and change intensity sporadically. Her feet are kicked up on the table, and the chair she is in is leaning back against the railing.
+
Judge Marrowitz opens her mouth to speak, only for the woman to raise her hand.
+
????: Give it a moment, my counsel is almost here.
+
The doors to the courtroom open and a woman dressed in a tight fit, well-kept, brown pants-suit walks down the aisle, heels clicking on the floor. She is also of middle eastern descent, with what witnesses described as a 'gentle but stern and business-like' expression. She carries a large, cuneiform-decorated briefcase.
+
????-2: Forgive me, your honor, traffic in New York is terrible. My client has temporarily relocated your courtroom for convenience’s sake.
+
Judge Marrowitz looks between the two women, Mr. Stillwater and Mr. Stanbrook for several seconds with an expression of distressed disbelief on her face.
+
Judge Marrowitz: What the hell do you mean temporarily rel—
+
????-2: Your honor, it's probably for the best that you do not think about it too deeply, lest you get a migraine.
+
The woman in the suit sets her briefcase on the table, pops open the clasps and pulls out several binders, seamlessly flipping one of them open.
+
????-2: Now, your honor, if I'm not mistaken the claimants have already presented the argument for their suit against my Mistress?
+
Judge Marrowitz: Well yes, but—
+
????-2: Excellent, and you were preparing to issue summary judgement due to my clients delayed attendance?
+
Judge Marrowitz: Yes that's right, but see he—
+
????-2: Perfect. If it pleases your honor, we would like to rebutt Mr. Stillwater's claims before you make your judgement?
+
The woman looks at Judge Marrowitz, awaiting their response. Judge Marrowitz takes off her glasses, takes a deep breath and says something at a low volume that only the camera microphones pick up.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Margaret what the hell did you put in my cereal this morning.
+
She speaks into the bench microphone.
+
Judge Marrowitz:What would please me is the two of you, explaining what the hell you've done to my courtroom, who the hell you are, and why I shouldn't have the bailiffs throw you out of my courtroom!?
+
????: Oh that's easy, I can explain the first bit. [EXTRANEOUS EXPLANATION OF INFOHAZARDOUS ONTOKINETIC THEORY REDACTED] and then I [IRRELEVANT DESCRIPTION OF COGNITOHAZARDOUS SPATIO-TEMPORAL MANIPULATION REDACTED FOR BREVITY].
+
Judge Marrowitz, the baliffs, Mr. Stillwater, Mr. Stanbrook and all other attendees begin experiencing substantial nosebleeds.
+
????-2: I think that's good enough, Abigail. We don't want to melt their brains. As far as your second question your honor, this, is Inanna or as she is currently referred to among mortals, Abigail Im-Immaru [EXTRANEOUS TITLES REMOVED]. I am Ninshubur or Nancy Sukkal-Mah, Lady of Subartu, as well as Inanna and Ishtar's personal counsel, secretary, and administrative director.
+
Judge Marrowitz: You people and your titles.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: As for your last question, I think you'll find it very difficult to have your bailiffs remove us given we're arbiters of the scales of justice.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru looks directly at the camera.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: Sorry for the mess this is going to make, Sherry, but this asswipe finally broke my patience. I'm sure you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru blows a kiss at the camera, a heart shaped neon-light floating through the air and briefly filling the entire field before dissolving. Her attention returns to Judge Merrowitz as she rocks back and forth in the chair, using her feet propped on the table to maintain balance.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Who are you talking to!?
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: Don't worry about it.
+
Judge Marrowitz: What!?
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: It's best if we remain focused on the case at hand Your Honor; the faster we resolve this issue, the quicker you get us out of your courtroom.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah smiles sympathetically at Judge Merrowitz.
+
Judge Merrowitz stares at them both for ~a minute, curling and uncurling her fists. She turns her head to look at the bailiffs, who look between the claimant’s table and the defendant’s table. They take multiple steps to the other side of the courtroom, away from Mrs. Im-Immaru and Mrs. Sukkal-Mah.
+
Judge Marrowitz:picks up her gavel and bangs it. This is already a circus, might as well get it over with.
+
Judge Marrowitz slumps in her bench chair with a look of resignation, having lost control of proceedings.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah:Pushes her glasses up on her nose. Very good. I would like to call Mr. Stillwater to the stand.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Objection! This isn't a trial, it's a summary judgement hearing! You can't call witnesses.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: Easy fix.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru claps twice.
+
A loud electronic noise approximate to Law and Order's 'The Clang' plays.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
<Mrs. Im-Immaru: Title Card: One Fuckface Incel vs A Perfectly Innocent Goddess>
+
As the static of the camera resolves, it refocuses on Mr. Stillwater who is seated in the witness stand. Glowing neon lights spelling out the case name and title decorate the walls of the courtroom, blinking approximately every minute. In addition to the 12 other people in the crowd, every previously unoccupied seat in the courtroom is now occupied with humanoid shaped entities made of neon light, glowing in every color the human eye can see.
+
Mr. Stanbrook:Stands abruptly. Your honor!
+
Judge Marrowitz: Your objection is noted and overruled.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: This is outrageous!
+
Judge Marrowitz: It's the worst nightmare I've had in weeks. I'm not about to make it go on longer. Go ahead, Mrs. Sukkal-mah.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: This won't stand! I'll be filing a complaint with the la—
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru claps once and Mr. Stanbrook's mouth disappears.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: Yappy little thing aren't you.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Nghhhh!!!!
+
Judge Marrowitz: Mrs. Im-Immaru, I will not tolerate you assaulting an officer of the law in my court room. Mumbling Even if he is scum of the earth. At normal volume. I will sanction you should if it happens again unwarranted!
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: Mr. Stillwater, earlier today you testified to this court that you formed a contract with my client, is that correct?
+
Mr. Stillwater: That's correct.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: And that contract was formed through a dream, wherein you were instructed to do certain tasks to win favor from my client, correct?
+
Mr. Stillwater:Steeples his fingers on the stand surface. Yes.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah walks away from the podium, and picks up a binder, before moving back to the microphone.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: Your honor I'd like to submit exhibit item 2A. May I approach the bench?
+
Judge Marrowitz: Go ahead.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah approaches the bench and hands the judge a packet of papers. She hands one to Mr. Stillwater, and then circles back to give Mr. Stanbrook the packet as well. Mr. Stanbrook glares at Mrs. Sukkal-Mah for several seconds and emits an unintelligible vocalization from the place where his mouth once was.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: Would you please read the highlighted lines on the first and second page for me Mr. Stillwater.
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Hnghghghhh hngghhh, leading lddddngg hhe ninnntess!
+
All parties ignore Mr. Stanbrook.
+
Mr. Stillwater: In the days of old, favor, contracts, and bindings among the Anunna and Igigi could be forged with mortals by the pronouncement of tithings. Each of the Annuna and Igigi had their own customs, of which many have been detailed. He pauses and flips to the next page. Among the most capricious was Inanna, who could only be summoned through prayer offering flattery, compliments and riches. She would reply in gestations of light, the warmth of the rays of the evening star upon the cheeks, the richness of a blooming love. She will never greet the summoner in dreams unless they are already an exalted lover.
+
A small pause.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: This document is cited by more than 20 different divine organizations as the standard contact protocol for the Messopotamian pantheon, your honor. The defense finds it peculiar that Mr. Stillwater supported his claims with non-academic blog-sites.
+
Mr. Stillwater: But I saw her in my dream! It was exactly her! She told me the exact URLs to go to!
+
He points at Mrs. Im-Immaru.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: On that topic, your honor, I would like to submit to the court exhibit 2B. May I approach the bench?
+
Judge Marrowitz sighs.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Go ahead.
+
[EXTRANEOUS ACTIONS AND MUFFLED PROTESTS REMOVED]
+
Mr. Stanbrook is now suspended from the ceiling on a neon light that rotates slowly. The words 'I am a corrupt bastard' glow on the floor around his blinking outline. Mr. Stillwater has returned to the claimants table, where he is currently suspended in the air by a chain of thousands of neon-glowsticks suspended from the ceiling and wrapped around his hands. He is swinging slowly back and forth, and at least one humanoid shaped neon-light construct pushes him forward when he gets too close to the railing.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: As you can see your honor, on the dates in question, my client's dream travel log is very busy with [EXTREME COGNITOHAZARDOUS ACTIVITIES REMOVED] and [DEIFIC INDOCTRINATION TRIGGERS EXCISED].
+
Judge Marrowitz: I cannot say I've ever heard of a dream travel log, is this a standard practice among… whatever you are?
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: Very, your honor. It's an accountability method for beings of a divine nature, put in practice after the great avocado flood of 1987. With that, I would like to offer my concluding statement to the court?
+
Judge Marrowitz: The gre— no no. Nevermind, I don't want to know. Go ahead, I’m not getting younger, and this nightmare is taking its time in ending.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: Either Mr. Stillwater completely fabricated this entire story, for attention and/or to excuse his frankly sickening hobbies, or some alternate force is attempting to frame my client.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Is that all the defense wishes to present?
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: Yes, your honor.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Very well. Mr. Stanbrook do you have any closing statements?
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Hnghhh!!! hnngadgjhhh nnnnn—
+
Judge Marrowitz: No? Suit yourself.
+
Judge Marrowitz bangs her gavel.
+
Judge Marrowitz: Usually on a successful defense of a motion for summary judgement we would move on to the actual trial. But given the outright ludicrous nature of the events here today and the evidence presented by the defense, I should dimiss with prejudice instead. Any objections, Mr. Stanbrook?"
+
Mr. Stanbrook: nghheeheh
+
Judge Marrowitz: Right, overruled. Case dismissed.
+
The courtroom erupts with applause, false cheers, and yips.
+
Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: Excellent, thank you your honor.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: You know, I used to be an extremely petty bitch, 5000 years ago. I leveled a mountain cause it dared to be prettier than me and my sibling. I pitched tantrums, cause Gilgamesh killed my fucking boar. I went to the underworld on the war path because… actually no, that one didn’t happen like the academics said it did.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: Anyways that's not me anymore. I've grown up. I've matured to being only slightly petty now.
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: That's why, this is now a criminal trial.
+
Mr. Stillwater: What?
+
Mr. Stanbrook: Hnghhh!?
+
Judge Marrowitz: Mrs. Im-Immaru, this is not a criminal trial or court. You cannot simply dicta—
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru: Sure I can!
+
Mrs. Im-Immaru claps three times.
+
A loud electronic noise approximate to Law and Order's 'The Clang' plays in accompaniment with an EDM motif.
+
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<Judge Im-Immaru: Title Card: State of New York and the loveliest Goddess to Ever Exist vs One [COGNITOHAZARDOUS MATERIAL REMOVED] Fuckface Incel and One Embezzling Yellowbellied, Greedsuckling, Soulless Lawyer.>
+
The camera feed resolves; the courtroom has changed once again. It is now oriented in a night club style layout. All walls and ceilings are now dance floors covered in fluorescing tiles as a dozen signs stating the case name flash on every surface. Humanoid shaped neon light constructs dance on the floor, the walls, and ceilings at angles that would be impossible if gravity was behaving normally. Judge Marrowitz is sitting on a throne, floating in the air in the middle of the dance floor and slowly spinning. A neon crown is perched atop her head.
+
Her Honorable Judge Im-Immaru is now seated at the bench, wearing a wig of oscillating neon lights. The seating arrangements have swapped, Neon blinking placards in cuneiform reading "Prosecution" displayed on the table on the right side where Mrs. Sukkal-Mah is seated. No table is on the left side where the defendants would normally be, instead a large wheel with different colored neon panels sits in its place. Mr. Stillwater is strapped to the wheel, which is split into two segments rotating in opposite directions. ~12 Mr. Stanbrooks are strapped to the walls, attached to the neon lights dictating the case title. Every time the color changes, Mr. Stanbrook screams as he's electrocuted, the tones of his screams being harvested and distorted into electronic music.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Welcome ladies, gentlemen, and enbies of all flavors, I'm your host Abigail, and this is CRIMINAL COURT WITH JUDGE MARROWITZ!
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Cheers go up from both the human spectators and the neon-light humanoid constructs.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Nancy why don't you go ahead and tell us what our defendants here are being charged with based on the evidence and testimony we saw today?
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Judge Marrowitz: This has gone from a nightmare to a night terror.
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Judge Marrowitz begins drinking from a flask covered in strobing neon lights.
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Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: As you saw earlier your honor, Mr. Stillwater incriminated himself by presenting video and photographic evidence of violation of New York Penal Law - PEN § 235.00, PEN § 353-A, & PEN § 245.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Ooooo those are nasty!
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Mrs. Sukkal-Mah: The State of New York has detailed paper trail evidence that Mr. Stanbrook violated New York Penal Law § 496.05, gross cases of embezzlement, taking bribes, paired with aiding and abetting criminal conspiracy. While not necessarily a violation of the law, and thus not of terrible relevancy to current proceedings, I'd also like to submit for the record that Mr. Stanbrook is a soulless hack for tieing his reputation to a client that ignored his warnings about the evidence presented here today being wildly self-incriminating.
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Judge Im-Immaru: I agree, bully on you Mr. Stanbrook. It seems the evidence against the defense is fairly stacked.
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Mr. Stanbrook screams incoherently in two ~3 second bursts. This results in a bass drop.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Mr. Stillwater, do you have any closing statements in your defense?
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Mr. Stillwater: I'm going to hurl, make the spinning stop.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Mr. Stanbrook do you have any closing remarks?
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Mr. Stanbrook:Incoherent loud screaming for approximately two minutes.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Mmmmm, I don't know about that defense, seems kind of weak. Members of the Jury, would you please step onto the throbbing neon scales of justice to announce your verdict for Mr. Stanbrook. Then do the same for Mr. Stillwater?
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The camera tilts to the Jury, made up entirely of neon light constructs. All 12 members step onto the guilty scale twice.
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Jury: On the presented counts we find both defendants, guilty!
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Judge Im-Immaru: Now, all you kids know what comes next! It's time to play—
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Judge Im-Immaru points out at the crowd.
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Whole Courtroom: Wheel! Of! Justice!
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Judge Im-Immaru: Nancy, if you would do the honors.
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Mrs. Sukkal-Mah walks over to the giant wheel, and with a great amount of effort, spins it. Mr. Stillwater starts screaming as the wheel spins faster and faster, neon fluid erupts from his blurry form, assumed to be vomit.
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After approximately thirty seconds the wheel stops on a neon blue and red panel.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Congratulations, my friends! The wheel has decided your fate! Are you ready to be slapped 235,000 times by the dancing lobsters, and then go straight to Jail!? For life!?
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Mr. Stillwater and Mr. Stanbrook both scream incoherently.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Bring in the dancing lobsters!
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The doors to the courtroom open and ~30 Finnfolk in Lobster costumes enter, wielding still alive cod. They dance across the courtroom and begin slapping Mr. Stillwater and Mr. Stanbrook with the fish.
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Judge Im-Immaru: That's all for today folks!
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Judge Im-Immaru exits the bench, and the camera follows her, as if mounted on a drone, as she walks out of the room, down the hall, and then out of the courtroom. Outside she snaps a finger, and a motorcycle made of strobing neon lights manifests. She mounts it, hikes up the parking stand and revs the engine.
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Judge Im-Immaru: Let this be a lesson, don't fucking sue me assholes.
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Judge Im-Immaru takes off, leaving a trail of streaking light.
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As soon as Mrs. Im-Immaru is out of frame, the camera distorts, slingshotting back to its original position. At this point, a SWAT team storms the courtroom and takes both Mr. Stanbrook and Mr. Stillwater into custody without resistance, as they are prostrated on the floor of the pulpit, foaming at the mouth and unconscious. Mrs. Sukkal-Mah is nowhere to be seen.
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<End Log>
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Postword: Post-incident, all members present during the hearing were treated with Class C Amnestics. Judge Marrowitz retired from the bench shortly after the incident. Both Mr. Stanbrook and Mr. Stillwater were found to already be convicted and sentenced for violation of criminal statutes. Foundation officials elected not to interfere, determining that dissemination of technical issues with the broadcast, recording, and schedule history of the trial would be sufficient cover.
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Post-Incident:
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Following the incident, SCP-8810 has been reclassified to Keter, due to the high probability of future type-black entity interference in any legal proceedings that arise from SCP-8810.
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Interview Log INT-8810-85
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Date: ██/██/2016
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Foreword: Following Incident I-8810-85, O5-01-03 Dr. Sherry Andrews summoned PoI-Valencia-02 to discuss the incident, and its aftermath.
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<Begin Log>
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The camera feed resolves to Dr. Andrews and Mrs. Im-Immaru seated in a Scranton-reality anchor lined interview chamber.
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Dr. Andrews: Really?
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Really.
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Dr. Andrews: I don't even know what to say Abigail, other than what the fuck.
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Listen—
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Dr. Andrews: No-no I don't want to hear excuses! We have a cooperative agreement! You stay in Ibiza; you stick to your role in paving the way for us to stop the world from fucking ending. In turn, we leave you alone to do whatever it is you do in that club. You don't go doing… whatever the hell this was supposed to be!
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Dr. Andrews takes a deep breath for several seconds and composes herself.
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Dr. Andrews: That said, in the end the damage was limited, and we were able to spin it in our favor but… you can't do this again.
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: I certainly don't intend to.
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Dr. Andrews lets out a long slow sigh.
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Dr. Andrews: Good. Good I'm glad we understand each other.
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Several seconds pass in silence.
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Are we done? As much as I like sitting here, drinking coffee, and being screamed at by you; I do have a packed schedule.
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Dr. Andrews: Just one more thing.
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Alright.
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Dr. Andrews: Did you do it?
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Did I do what?
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Dr. Andrews: Don't play word games with me, did you send him the dream?
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Mrs. Im-Immaru shifts in her chair and several seconds of silence pass between them.
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Listen this little asshole was putzing around on the internet, all these forums and shit claiming Aleah and I didn't endorse enbies and trans people and all this nasty ass bigoted sh—
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Dr. Andrews: That's not what I asked. Did you send him the dream?
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Well see—
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Dr. Andrews bangs her fists on the table.
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Dr. Andrews: Dammit, Abigail, answer the fucking question!
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Yes, alright! I got with Emily, and we concocted the dream. I wanted to fuck with him.
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Dr. Andrews: She what?
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Ok, maybe that was a bit of a lie, I borrowed one of her nightmare devices and made… some adjustments.
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Dr. Andrews: For fucks sake— This could have gone so much worse! What if it had been a national broadcast! With the amount of publicity arou—
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: How was I supposed to know that he was going to take "Gifts resembling those of old, while reciting my prayer" to mean [MENTALLY HAZARDOUS MATERIAL REMOVED] while [GRAPHIC INFOHAZARD REMOVED] with [APOCALYPTIC MEMETIC EFFECT EXCISED] in the middle of the woods while covered in grease and flour.
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Fifteen seconds of silence. Dr. Andrews sits with her mouth slightly open, staring at Mrs. Im-Immaru.
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Dr. Andrews: Those poor fucking goats.
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: The goats and my brain-eyes-things. Fucker was saying my prayer the whole time. I'll never scrub that from my brain, Sherry. Never.
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Thirty seconds of silence. Dr. Andrews looks back down at her notes, taking off her glasses, and rubbing her temples.
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Dr. Andrews: …dancing lobsters with fish? Why?
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: There's nothing funnier than an Incel getting slapped around with some cod by some tuna in lobster suits.
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<End Log>
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Dr. Andrews: No we're not ending the log there, fuck you for trying that.
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Mrs. Im-Immaru: Oh come on, that was good!
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Dr. Andrews: You don't get a funny zinger after today.
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