Special Containment Procedures: When not required for testing purposes, SCP-1064 is to be contained in a sealed storage locker located within Sector-28. Since SCP-1064 is considered to be harmless when not actively in use, no further precautions are required to be taken at this time.
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Description: SCP-1064 is a novelty ring made of pink-coloured plastic. The setting is designed to hold a small candle of the kind typically found on birthday cakes. SCP-1064 has no visible makers’ mark or distinguishing features and appears to have been mass-produced using standard plastic moulding techniques.
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If no candle has been inserted into the setting, SCP-1064 will not cause any effect when worn or otherwise handled. Test subjects experience no compulsion either to put on SCP-1064 or to insert a candle into it.
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When a candle is inserted into SCP-1064 and lit whilst it is being worn, the wearer will experience one of two phenomena.
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Around 80% of people who wear SCP-1064 will claim that the candle is in some way intrinsically linked to their own life expectancy. Individuals affected in this way appear to believe that, as the candle melts away, a portion of their lifespan will be irrevocably taken from them. Test subjects affected in this way will attempt to extinguish the candle in any way possible, most commonly by blowing it out, but will not try to remove SCP-1064 itself.
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Once the candle has been extinguished, the wearer will exhibit a strong desire to continue to wear SCP-1064 and to keep the candle in the setting. If this is not possible, they will make efforts to keep the candle in their possession, often insisting that it is now an intrinsic part of them.
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In the remaining 20% of cases, the wearer will claim to have experienced time at an altered pace with events around them taking place much faster than usual. Test subjects affected in this way will typically move and communicate slowly whilst the candle remains lit. Whilst, in the vast majority of cases, test subjects find this experience to be disorienting and will be reluctant to repeat the experiment, a handful have expressed a wish to use SCP-1064 again, due to the false belief that it is a ‘time travelling ring’.
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Extensive testing has found that SCP-1064 does not cause the tissue of test subjects to age or degrade in any way which might suggest their life expectancy has been shortened by it. All test subjects regardless of their experiences appear to age at a natural rate both during and after testing and no lasting physical effects have been recorded. Furthermore, tests have shown that those test subjects who undergo the second of the two phenomena exhibit no recordable alteration in brain activity to suggest that they are experiencing time at an altered speed.
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Examination of candles after their use in SCP-1064 have shown no alteration in properties other than those to be expected as a result of them being burnt.
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Addendum 1064-A: Dr Hill - Following the death of D-1845 after a candle was allowed to burn away completely in SCP-1064, all testing is to be put on hold until the cause of the subject’s death can be confirmed.
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Addendum 1064-B: Dr Hill - Inserting novelty relighting candles into SCP-1064 is not recommended. As far as I am concerned, watching D-2097 remove her own finger by [DATA EXPUNGED] with the edge of a table was a fairly conclusive test result.
File photo of "Frankie", first discovered specimen of SCP-1318
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Item #: SCP-1318
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Object Class: Euclid
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Special Containment Procedures: Specimens of SCP-1318 are to be kept in individual wire cages in a secured room in a facility otherwise devoid of laboratory animals. Due to the nature of the cognitive hazard presented by SCP-1318, no research staff shall be permitted to interact directly with specimens. Any experiments involving specimens are to be carried out by appropriately trained class-D personnel under remote observation by the assigned researcher.
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Experimental protocols should be designed to strictly limit the duration of exposure to SCP-1318 specimens. No individual class-D is to be scheduled for this duty more than once per week. Under no circumstances should any personnel be assigned duty which would increase their cumulative exposure time to SCP-1318 to over 16 hours.
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Any personnel showing signs of excessive SCP-1318 exposure are to be treated with amnestics and must undergo a thorough psychological examination before returning to duty. If delusions persist after drug treatment and counseling, disability leave may be granted at the discretion of the project lead. Class-D personnel experiencing persistent delusions are to be terminated.
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Description: SCP-1318 is a spontaneously occurring phenomenon found in an estimated 0.0001% of specimens of the Long-Evans strain of Rattus norvegicus1, the Norwegian Brown Rat. Instances are indistinguishable from other Long-Evans specimens in size, intelligence, appearance, and lifespan. However, humans spending 20-80 cumulative hours in close proximity (approximately 3m) to an SCP-1318 specimen develop the following delusional complex:
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That the specimen is sapient, and capable of speech.
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That the specimen is a subject-matter expert in their field of employment.
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That their "best ideas" originate from conversations with the specimen.
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That these properties of SCP-1318 are possibly hereditary, and that any offspring of the specimen should be exempt from experimentation pending unspecified "analysis".
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That possession of SCP-1318 provides significant competitive advantage, precluding the sharing of data about specimens with outside organizations.
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In addition to this cumulative effect, persons introduced to an SCP-1318 specimen by an affected individual will immediately be affected by the delusional system.2
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While affected persons report that they hear the SCP-1318 specimen speaking, review of recordings of such "conversations" reveal that affected persons are, in fact, subvocalizing the specimen's responses to their queries. No reported responses were found to lie outside of the knowledge domain of the affected individual.
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SCP-1318 was discovered when a routine performance review in 1993 found that productivity at the biosciences laboratory at Research Site-27 had declined by 75% in a 6-month period without a corresponding decline in research quality. An internal audit of the facility determined that the entire staff of the lab were affected by delusions pertaining to a male SCP-1318 specimen whom they dubbed "Frankie". Two members of the audit team were likewise affected before the nature of the hazard was determined.
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All affected personnel were interviewed and treated with amnestics, though 15% of staff suffered from persistent delusional states and were subsequently relieved of duty. "Frankie" was determined to have entered the facility as part of a routine delivery of model organisms from Charles River Laboratories. No anomalous properties were detected in any other specimens in the shipment.
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Interview Log 1318-1-5
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Agent Davidson: Good morning, Mr. Mooney. I would like to ask a few questions about the model organism designated SCP-1318-1.
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Researcher Mooney: Uh. Hey, sure. There sure are a lot of you internal affairs guys around. Is everything … okay?
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Agent Davidson: This is an information-gathering exercise, not a disciplinary hearing. Now, what can you tell me about SCP-1318-1.
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Researcher Mooney: You mean Frankie, right?
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Agent Davidson: Yes, I believe the staff refer to it as "Frankie".
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Researcher Mooney: Oh, Frankie's great. He's real easy to talk to and he's got a head for organic chemistry like nobody I've ever seen.
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Agent Davidson: How did you discover its anomalous properties?
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Researcher Mooney: Well, a couple months ago I was getting really stuck trying to synthesize one of the components from the SCP-███ fluid, and I was bitching about it in the lunchroom. Kowalski from Virology says to me, "Hey, you should run that by Frankie," and I'm like, who the fuck is Frankie?
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Agent Davidson: So Researcher Kowalski introduced you to the specimen?
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Researcher Mooney: Yeah. He takes me into this mostly empty storeroom, nothing in there except this big cage with one little rat in it, and I'm like "Where the hell is this Frankie guy?" and Kowalski says "That's him right there."
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Agent Davidson: Referring to the rat.
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Researcher Mooney: Yeah. So I'm just about to punch Kowalski in the mouth for taking me on a snipe hunt, when he starts talking to Frankie. And Frankie starts talking back.
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Agent Davidson: What were they discussing?
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Researcher Mooney: Oh, Kowalski is like "Hey, my buddy Mooney here is stuck on some hairy O-Chem, do you think you could help him out?" and Frankie is all "Sure thing. Nice to meet you, Mr. Mooney". It was weird too, cuz you'd think a little rat like that would have a squeaky voice or something, but he just sounded like a regular guy.
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Agent Davidson: Was your discussion with the organism fruitful?
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Researcher Mooney: Yeah! It was amazing, I just told him what I was trying to do and he walked me through a possible synthesis as easy as giving directions to the grocery store. I took it back to the lab and it worked the first time.
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Agent Davidson: And you continued to consult with the organism?
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Researcher Mooney: Yeah, I did. By the end of the month most of the guys in the lab were talking to Frankie when they got stuck on something. That little bastard can talk about almost anything you throw at him, you know?
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Agent Davidson: Why did you not disclose the presence of the anomaly?
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Researcher Mooney: Um. Well. It sounds stupid when I say now, but everyone in the bio lab kind of figured that Frankie was our secret weapon? Everyone was doing amazing work and we figured we'd keep it to ourselves for a little bit.
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Agent Davidson: Our records show that while the quality of work coming from your labs was consistently high, there was a precipitous drop in total output. If the organism was so helpful, how do you account for this?
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Researcher Mooney: Yeah, um. So it was a couple of things, I guess. The biggest problem is that there are only so many hours in the day, and Frankie's asleep for half of them. So the scheduling got to be a little hairy.
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Agent Davidson: People were unable to proceed until they could consult with the organism?
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Researcher Mooney: Well, it's like you know you could get going without talking to Frankie, but once you talk to him, you'll probably have to start over anyway, so why bother? Also, lots of people's time was taken up with the breeding program.
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Agent Davidson: Breeding program.
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Researcher Mooney: Yeah, we figured we couldn't keep it to ourselves forever, and how great would it be if every lab in the Foundation had their own Frankie?
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Agent Davidson: That will be all for now, Mr. Mooney.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1336 will be stored in a secured vault in Section 19. It is to be maintained in a document frame that will prevent accidental damage to the object. The front of SCP-1336 will be under constant observation by level 3 personnel and video images will be recorded at all times. Relevant screenshots will be sent to the director of operations for Level 3 personnel.
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Description: SCP-1336 is a single sheet of 8.5" x 11" 110 lb. card stock. It has sustained very slight burn damage to one corner. It was recovered from the wreckage of a laboratory owned by the ██████████ Chemical Corporation in ███████, █████. Nothing is known of the origins of the object beyond this. It came to the attention of the Foundation by way of an informant from the company itself. No opportunity to recover the paper came until several months after the Foundation learned of the existence of SCP-1336, when an explosion severely damaged the lab, killing 15 employees, including the informant. Foundation operatives were able to enter the lab and recover the object at that time.
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Appearing on the paper are roughly 5,000 dots, each one a circle about 0.3mm in diameter. The dots appear to be printed in various colors. Under non-magnified observation the dots resemble those printed by a standard color laser printer; however, microscopic examination reveals that the paper fibers themselves appear to be colored. There are no pigment particles apparent.
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The attention of the Foundation was originally drawn by the fact that the dots slowly move around the page. While each individual dot moves seemingly at random, they will all form recognizable patterns from time to time. Exactly how the dots move is still unknown. Under magnification, it appears that the color oozes along the paper fibers, but no observation so far had revealed how the color flows. The dots have been observed to overlap each other and will temporarily blend colors. The dots have never been observed to stop moving. Their speed is a constant 1mm/s, though they seem to randomly change directions, and rarely stay moving in any one direction for more than a few seconds.
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Almost without exception, the patterns created appear as structural formulas for various organic compounds. To date, the Foundation had recorded 11,467 structural formulas. Of these, 453 did not appear in any current chemical registry. The Foundation has managed to synthesize 41 of the unknown molecules. 10 of these compounds have proven commercially viable, and have been released through various Foundation front companies; the remaining 31 chemicals are still undergoing analysis and testing. Of the 412 compounds that have yet to be synthesized, 53 appear to be physically impossible according to currently-accepted theories of chemical bonding. Another 48 contain symbols that are not known to represent chemical elements or functional groups.
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Addendum A: SCP-1336 is known to have produced images unrelated to structural formulas on six separate occasions.
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A-1: An image of [REDACTED], later identified as SCP-[REDACTED].
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A-2: A map of the Continental United States with the location of each capital city indicated, as well as 4 additional locations. Investigation in the areas indicated by the dots revealed [REDACTED].
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A-3: The phrase “Shared pain is lessened…”
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A-4: The date [REDACTED] and the phrase [REDACTED].
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A-5: A portrait of a middle-aged Asian male, later identified as Field Agent [REDACTED], the agent who recovered SCP-1336 following the lab explosion.
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A-6: An image of a video camera (See Addendum B-5).
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Addendum B: Multiple attempts have been made to communicate with SCP-1336. To date, none have been successful. However, one test did seem to show that SCP-1336 was aware of its environment.
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B-1: Attempt to verbally communicate. "Can you hear me?" repeated at intervals for 1 hour. No response.
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B-2: Attempt to verbally communicate. "Draw a circle." repeated in multiple languages at intervals for 2 hours. No response.
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B-3: Attempt to visually communicate. The command "Draw a circle" printed on a paper in multiple languages and placed in a frame facing SCP-1336 for 24 hours. No response.
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B-4: Attempt to visually communicate. A copy of Da Vinci's "La Gioconda" (The Mona Lisa) placed in front of SCP-1336 for 24 hours. No response.
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B-5: Attempt to communicate both visually and verbally: After the production of Agent [REDACTED]'s portrait, a photo of Agent [REDACTED] was presented to SCP-1336 and the question "Who else was on the recovery team?" was repeated for 1 hour. The dots formed an image of the video camera that faces SCP-1336.
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B-6: A high-resolution LCD display was placed on the wall facing SCP-1336, which showed a greatly magnified version of the object. The dots on SCP-1336 were seen to speed up by 50%. This effect lasted for approximately 2 hours before the dots slowly returned to normal speed. There was no further obvious response since then, and the display was removed after one month.
Special Containment Procedures: When not being utilized for experimentation, SCP-1367 is to be kept in Storage Containment Unit B-19 inside a cushioned container with 60cm x 60cm x 60cm dimensions. Before storage the container must be thoroughly cleaned of any hard or sharp debris.
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Before being removed from storage for experimentation, the latex elements of the object should be sprayed with a thin layer of a liquid plastic polymer solution to improve durability. Personnel should be cautious when handling the object due to its possible fragile nature.
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Description: SCP-1367 is a helium filled balloon of common make and red coloration, measuring 45.7 cm from apex to inflation valve, which is tied shut by a 73.6 cm white string. The object has no identifying marks that would indicate a manufacturer.
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Testing of the physical durability of SCP-1367 has been minimal due to the fragile nature of the commonly manufactured balloons which it resembles. However, it has been concluded that it does not lose helium through its permeable latex membrane. While it does exhibit the buoyancy expected from its helium content, the object's movements seem to be unaffected by air current and lift. SCP-1367, if left to float freely, will begin to maneuver towards the largest gathering of at least 6 individuals within 480 meters whose aggregate mood is at least mildly positive. This deliberate movement is difficult to detect since the object moves as if it were being pushed about by air current. However, tests conducted in an air-tight room have proved no air current is necessary for the object's locomotion.
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When SCP-1367 comes within 4.5 meters of a targeted gathering, auditory abnormalities are heard by all within listening range. The amount of distinct speakers seems to be doubled, as additional voices are heard amongst the group. These voices are invariably in high spirits, and seem to belong to individuals that match the age and vocal patterns exhibited by the majority of those present, though mimicking no group member exactly. The content of this audio phenomenon is difficult to decipher, as it only occurs when other normal audio is being generated and never exceeds its volume. The extraneous audio always appears to be emanating from several meters away and has been proven to be audible on recordings as well.
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In rare situations, other audio elements have been heard. These seem to become more common when SCP-1367 has bonded to a larger and louder group with an elevated mood. Documented examples of these instances are listed below.
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The sounds of children laughing and playing outdoors.
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A slurred toast, followed by the noise of glasses clinking.
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People chanting “Chug” encouragingly.
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Several renditions of the birthday song based on the melody composed by the Hill sisters.
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Moans indicative of sexual activity.
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An entertainer’s voice, using a manner of speech commonly attributed to clowns.
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Chanting in an unknown language
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Carnival pipe organ music.
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Anomalous audio resembling humanoid voices will not communicate with any real individuals. When the targeted group disperses, its speech and noise levels subside, or its mood changes to a non-positive state, the audio phenomena will cease and SCP-1367 will move to another group fulfilling its criteria if one is available. As the effect of realizing there is extraneous audio is somewhat disquieting, a targeted group noticing the effect will oftentimes inadvertently end the object's effects.
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In cases where SCP-1367’s effects go unnoticed or are disregarded, the targeted group will find themselves experiencing a slowly elevating positive mood and increasingly fewer inhibitions when it comes to social interaction. At approximately 2 hours of exposure, there seems to be no further effect. At no point does the targeted gathering seem to be under a compulsion to continue their activities, and behave with normal discretion in regards to commitments, exhaustion, and the like. Observed targeted groups have engaged in binge drinking games, food fights, dancing without music, physical children’s games, and orgies among other activities.
Special Containment Procedures:Each Diana event is to be monitored by four assigned SCP personnel present in situ.
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Update ██/██/████: Due to the events of Incident 1623-1, no personnel, Foundation or otherwise, are to enter the respective SCP-1623-3 area during a Diana event, and an additional security perimeter must be maintained on the borders of the SCP-1623-3 area. Violators of this perimeter are to be terminated with extreme prejudice.
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The areas of SCP-1623-3 -1, -2, -3 and -4, comprising an approximate 860 m², 4 km², 12 km² and 32.5 km² are to be closed to the public as private property owned by Soldatesca Cavalleria di Pisa, an Italian Foundation front company, as military training grounds. An automated security perimeter is to be established in these areas.
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Due to the nature of SCP-1623, the location of the next Diana event cannot be ascertained until the beginning of the event itself. Four MTF stations are to be built at the borders of each of the SCP-1623 areas.
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Security is to be reinforced by an additional MTF unit (MTF-Kappa-7 "Italian Inquisition" as the currently assigned unit, Kappa-8 "Spanish Inquisition" as the additional) on the four days with the highest measured temperatures every year three days prior. Accurate future temperature measurements are to be obtained by Foundation satellite SCPSat Origin. If contact with the satellite is lost, the usage of SCP-████ to predict the weather data is to be utilized with the permission of the SCP-1623 HMCL liaison (currently Prihoda, M.) until the appropriate repairs are carried out on the satellite.
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Instances of SCP-1623-1 and -2 in the public are to be tracked, but otherwise ignored. Instances in Foundation custody are to be kept in standard humanoid containment cells, monitored by infrared camera. During a Diana event, the unconscious instances are not to be manipulated in any way, unless in a case of emergency. Instances of -1 can be housed together in special circumstances. Care must be taken to distinguish a -1 instance from a -2 instance because of their similar appearance; housing of -2 instances together presents a security risk.
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Foundation and Horizon Initiative liasons are currently participating in a joint effort in tracking instances of SCP-1623-1 and -2 in public. Expirations are to be recorded as soon as possible with newborn instances to be tracked from birth.
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In case of a sudden disparity (1:1.3 or more) between the -1 and -2 instances, Procedure-1991-Zorutti is to be immediately carried out to even the ratio.
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Description: SCP-1623 is a designation for anomalous phenomena taking place in the region of Friuli–Venezia Giulia, Italy, referred to by the local inhabitants as "Night marches".
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SCP-1623-1 is a portion of the inhabitants of the Friuli–Venezia Giulia region (currently estimated to be █% of the local population), that refer to each other as "Benandanti". Instances of SCP-1623-1 differ from the rest of the inhabitants by old, worn clothing, many times including linen and tie-dye aspects, with their appearance generally described as neglected. At approximately 2100 hours on the four days with the highest measured temperatures every year, instances of SCP-1623-1 lose consciousness and participate in a Diana event (see Document AstralT by Dr. ████ for a further elaboration on a part of the mechanics involved).
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SCP-1623-2 is a portion of the inhabitants of the Friuli-Venezia Giulia region (currently estimated to be █.█% of the local population), that the SCP-1623-1 instances refer to as "The Witchmen/Malandanti". Instances of SCP-1623-2 differ from other inhabitants and SCP-1623-1 instances by dirty, dark clothing, often including jewelry made from wood, copper, and silver. Many SCP-1623-2 instances have been spotted as beggars or street thieves.
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SCP-1623-3 is a designation for a series of fields and plains (designated 1623-3-1 to -4) in the Udine and Pordenone provinces at which Diana events take place. The choice of the field used for each event has proven to be random, with no discernible pattern discovered so far.
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A Diana event is a designation for a skirmish that takes place during the nights of the four days of the year with the highest measured temperatures between projected instances of SCP-1623-1 and SCP-1623-2. These projections bear similarities to the instances themselves, although their exterior appearances vary and have frequent and impractical modifications. These include changes in clothing, colored patterns or lights on the clothing and skin, suits representing various animals or becoming animals themselves, makeshift weapons unusable for real combat, stalks of fennel and sorghum and flags showing the stalks. The projections are intangible to the touch and appear to be able to interact only with each other.
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The skirmishes usually proceed in a disorganized manner. The SCP-1623-1 projections fight the SCP-1623-2 projections until they are about to expire, but instead, the projections in question disappear and their respective instances wake up from their unconscious state shortly after. These skirmishes always continue until one side has no "surviving" projections.
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The highest recorded number of projections on either side reached ████ on ██/██/19██. However, more than █ projections of either the -1 or -2 instances had never remained on site after the skirmish. During this time, all remaining projections undergo a [REDACTED] before disappearing from SCP-1623-3.
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In the following weeks (or months, if there were at least █ projections remaining), the region of Friuli-Venezia Giulia experiences an improvement in agricultural production and a higher birth rate (in case of 1623-1 projections remaining) or an agricultural drop and an increase of miscarriages and stillbirths (in case of 1623-2 projections remaining).
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Because of the personal modifications and as per the revised containment procedures, the projections have proven very hard to identify with their respective -1 and -2 instances. Aerial reconnaissance is under consideration as a method to identify possible –1 and -2 instances participating in a Diana event.
Horizon Initiative had been overlooking the containment of SCP-1623 from the 15th century and the Foundation had managed to gather sufficient data from HI databases to confirm that in a case of either projections' victory with at least ██ projections remaining, the effects of the [REDACTED] last longer, affect a wider area and are more prevailing in nature. In case of SCP-1623-2 instances remaining, there had been reported cases of soil sterility, famine, very low natality (see Event Log-1623-1518/Venice). In case of 1623-1 instances remaining, reports of widespread nature growths through established city and rural infrastructure, damaging said infrastructure and making certain areas uninhabitable had also been gathered. For other reported effects see Event Log-1623-EF.
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It is theorized that in case of more than ███ projections of either designation remaining and successfully completing [REDACTED], a possible AK-class scenario (Agricultural breakdown) or UK-class scenario (Uninhabitability) might occur.
Interviewed: █████ ██████████(█████), a citizen of a small rural village of █████ and a SCP-1623-1 instance. █████ has been psychologically evaluated before this interview with an average intelligence score.
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Interviewer: Agent McFlannagan (F), overseeing research assistant Dr. Anderson.
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Foreword: █████ had been the sixth instance of SCP-1623-1 interviewed. Interviews have so far yielded similar information; this interview had been translated from Italian and redacted for brevity to list the most recurring elements between interviews.
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F: This is John McFlannagan, interviewing █████ ██████████, an instance of SCP-1623-1. The date is Tuesday ██, ████.
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F: █████, how are you feeling?
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█████: Fine, sir. I hope I can soon be released to see my family.
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F: Most certainly, we only need to make a last review of your testimony here. Now, what can you tell us about your "night marches", as you call them?
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█████: I already told the other policeman – on the nights of the four driest days, I travel to the ███ field to wage war against the witchmen there. We carry stalks of fennel, and they carry sorghum.
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F: Who are these witchmen you speak of?
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█████: Oh, those are the mali andanti, sir! They eat children and poison our crops. And at night, they sneak into our houses and sleep in our beds, and when the beds aren’t prepared, they piss into our wine barrels!
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F: Why do they eat your children and poison your crops in particular, when it’s the ██th century?
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█████: It's just the way they are, and… so they cannot do this, we fight them each night, and many times, the benandanti succeed.
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F: What does the "benandanti" mean and how do you become one?
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█████: A benandante is a … a good walker, you could say. You become a benandante when you are seventeen, like in the army. And after serving for ten years in the night marches, you can stop and never go there again.
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F: What prompts you to "become" a benandante?
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█████: Nothing, you're just… born that way, if you're born in a caul (Note: "to be born in a caul" was later discovered to be a benandante term of being born with the amniotic sac covering their face). And when I was seventeen, ██████ ███ had visited me and told me that I am to become a benandante.
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F: Is ██████ ███ also a… benandante? And who else is a benandante that you know?
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█████: I can't… say, sir, they would find me and beat me. And-
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F: We have gone through this before. <through intercom> Dr. Anderson, tell Mr. ██████████ of the terms that he agreed to.
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[PASSAGE REDACTED]
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F: I see. Do you wear anything special when you visit these night marches, and how do you recognize each other?
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█████: No, sir! During the four driest days, I lie on my bed and only my spirit leaves my body, I… had told ████ not to touch me when my spirit leaves. Then, my spirit wages war against the witchmen! The captain leads us, and he is the tallest in the army, he always wears a [REDACTED].
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F: And how does your spirit look?
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█████: Sometimes, it’s like me, but… naked, sometimes I arrive there on a cat, a dog, or on a deer. Sometimes I can't recognize myself at all. Please, sir, is this all? I don't… feel so well.
+
[SUBSEQUENT PASSAGES REDACTED]
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Closing Statement: Subject 1623-1-6 had been given Class A amnestics and kept in Foundation custody as a prisoner, convicted for Intoxicated Assault Charges.
+
+
+
Interview #1623-2-1:
+
Interviewed: [REDACTED], an instance of SCP-1623-2.
+
Interviewer: Agent Prihoda (P) and Research assistant Pergl (G)
+
REDACTED. HMCL CLEARANCE REQUIRED.
+
Closing Statement: Agents Prihoda and Research assistant Pergl were permitted for a psychiatric evaluation after the interview. Subject 1623-2-1 had been given Class A amnestics and kept in Foundation custody as a prisoner, convicted for Blackmail and Battery.
+
Note: Good thing we have discovered 1623 when we did. After seeing the effects of these guys in the 1518 and 1764 famines, we really need to keep a close eye on future 1623-2 births. –Agent McFlannagan
+
+
+
+
+
Incident-1623-1:
+On ██/██/████, a strike force of Horizon Initiative agents interrupted an ongoing Diana event, using a device (now designated SCP-███) with the intent to terminate as many SCP-1623-1 and -2 projections as possible. Because of the proximity to the projections, only the remaining SCP-1623-1 projections had been "terminated" and the remaining ██ SCP-1623-2 projections quickly underwent [REDACTED] and disappeared. See Log-1623-1816 "Year without a summer" for more information on the event fallout.
+
This prompted Foundation agents to discover and document the SCP and the Foundation was offered a mutual agreement by the Horizon Initiative on a cooperative containment operation.
From: HMCL Supervisor Michael Prihoda
+To: O5-█
+Subject: SCP-1623 emergences
+
O5-█,
+
Regarding the state of SCP-1623, despite successful containment in Friuli, we have been getting reports from HI members of new Diana events in the Carinthian and Tyrol regions in Austria and Primorska region in Slovenia. With our containment resources stretched as they are, we are not able to spend any additional resources, manpower, or MTF units to secure these new emergences. I hereby request permission to acquire reinforcements to resolve this issue, Foundation or, if need be, Horizon, to resolve this difficulty as soon as possible.
+
Best regards,
+Michael Prihoda
+Current HMCL supervisor for SCP-1623
Special Containment Procedures: All known articles of footwear affected by SCP-1667 are to be stored in Containment Locker 16 at Storage Site-23. Due to the contagious nature of SCP-1667's effects, no shoes, boots, sandals, flip-flops, slippers, flippers, foot-wraps, galoshes, moccasins or clogs are permitted to enter a 2 meter radius surrounding Containment Locker 16 without the prior approval of Researcher Davis. Socks are permitted. On a fortnightly basis, one member of personnel with Level 1 security clearance must carefully open Containment Locker 16 and reposition all footwear inside to its most north-westerly positions. In the event of a containment breach caused by pressure-related internal damage to SCP-1667's container, all footwear affected by SCP-1667 is to be re-contained and Containment Locker 16 reinforced.
+
Note: It is suspected that SCP-1667 may not be fully contained. In the event of a suspected instance of containment breach, a barefoot Mobile Task Force must be sent to investigate.
+
Description: SCP-1667 is a contagion that spreads between almost any type of footwear. Any organism wearing or in physical contact with an item of footwear affected by SCP-1667 is compelled to reach an unknown location deep below the central Pacific Ocean, regardless of personal danger. Almost all items of footwear, the main exception being socks, are susceptible to contagion of SCP-1667. Organisms affected by SCP-1667 will attempt to remain in physical contact with affected footwear. Humans under the effects of SCP-1667 are able to communicate semi-rationally but are primarily driven by their goal to enter the Pacific Ocean and may become physically violent in order to achieve it. Class D personnel under the effects of SCP-1667 were able to use basic navigation skills to avoid obstacles in their path yet always selected travelling on foot over the use of any type of vehicle. Footwear affected by SCP-1667 has been noticed over time by staff slowly moving south-west in a linear pattern, at a rate of approximately 12.7cm per week. It is speculated that the effects of SCP-1667 have caused many humans and possibly other land animals to drown with the appearance of suicidal intent.
+
The first object discovered to be affected by SCP-1667 was a brown and red leather hiking boot (hereafter referred to as SCP-1667-1) recovered from █████ Beach, ████████, New Zealand in 19██. The small town came to the Foundation's attention after seventeen people were reported missing in the area within two months. Upon investigation it was discovered that several of the missing persons had been seen near █████ Beach on the days of their disappearances. Mobile Task Force ██-█ was sent to conduct a thorough search of the beach, which led to the discovery of SCP-1667-1 and the effects of SCP-1667. The contagious nature of SCP-1667 was discovered when other articles of footwear brought into SCP-1667-1's area of effect began to produce the same effects after a short exposure time. ████ members of Mobile Task Force ██-█ did not remove their boots during the recovery of SCP-1667-1 from █████ Beach and in the resulting chaos, [DATA EXPUNGED].
+
+
The following test log has been classified and any personnel requesting this data must have the approval of one member of personnel with Level 2 security clearance.
Affected Item/s: SCP-1667-2 (black combat boot, owner deceased)
+Unaffected Item: Black business shoe (owned by Researcher Davis, held by Subject D-8267)
+Objective: To observe the range of SCP-1667's effects.
+Results: Effects of SCP-1667 manifested in black business shoe (and D-8267) after approximately 8.41 seconds of exposure from 1.4 meters distance. Black business shoe reclassified as SCP-1667-11.
+
+
Affected Item/s: SCP-1667-11 (black business shoe, owned by Researcher Davis)
+Unaffected Item: Subject D-8267 (female, Hispanic, 26 years old, 67kg, 158cm tall)
+Objective: To observe a human under the effects of SCP-1667.
+Results: Subject held SCP-1667-11 against her chest and began running towards the door. When subject's path was blocked by Researcher Davis, subject stated "Move". When Researcher Davis did not comply, subject kicked him in the groin and sprinted from the room. Subject attempted to leave facility and was terminated. SCP-1667-11 was partially damaged and has been discontinued from further testing.
+
+
Log 02/04/██
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+
Affected Item/s: SCP-1667-2
+Unaffected Item: Irish Terrier (female, golden red, 4 years old, 13kg, 39cm tall, GPS tracker implanted)
+Objective: To determine whether SCP-1667 affects animals other than humans.
+Results: Effects of SCP-1667 manifested in subject after approximately 5.23 seconds of physical contact with SCP-1667-2. SCP-1667-2 detached from subject.
+
+
Log 02/18/██
+
+
Affected Item/s: SCP-1667-2
+Unaffected Item:Parthenocissus quinquefolia (also known as Virginia creeper)
+Objective: To determine whether SCP-1667 affects organisms other than animals.
+Results: Effects of SCP-1667 noticeably manifested in subject after two weeks of physical contact with SCP-1667-2. Subject grew approximately 23 centimetres south-west, differing from its natural eastward growth direction. SCP-1667-2 detached from subject.
+
+
Log 02/19/██
+
+
Affected Item/s: SCP-1667-2
+Unaffected Item: Common bottlenose dolphin (male, grey, 15 years old, 452kg, 3.62m long, waterproof video camera attached, GPS tracker implanted)
+Objective: To discover the location to which SCP-1667 leads its victims.
+Results: Effects of SCP-1667 manifested in subject after approximately 54.3 seconds of physical contact with SCP-1667-2. Subject was transported from facility, released from ████████ Beach and tracked south-west for approximately 3500 kilometres before signal was lost. Subject was noted to have begun increasing in speed exponentially after it reached coordinates ██°S ███°W. Video footage revealed nothing of interest. SCP-1667-2 presumed unrecoverable.
+
+
Log 03/04/██
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+
Affected Item/s: SCP-1667-3 (black combat boot, owner deceased)
+Unaffected Item: Two navy blue flippers (owned by Agent █████, held by Subject D-8268)
+Objective: To spread SCP-1667's effects to a pair of flippers.
+Results: Effects of SCP-1667 manifested in navy blue flippers (and D-8268) after approximately 10.13 seconds of exposure from 1.2 meters distance. Left and right navy blue flippers reclassified as SCP-1667-12 and SCP-1667-13 respectively.
+
+
Affected Item/s: SCP-1667-12 and SCP-1667-13 (two navy blue flippers, owned by Agent █████)
+Unaffected Item: Subject D-8268 (male, Caucasian, 32 years old, 77kg, 179cm tall, GPS tracker implanted)
+Objective: To discover the location to which SCP-1667 leads its victims.
+Results: Subject was given an Atmospheric Diving Suit (ADS) with waterproof video camera and audio communicator attached and was instructed to put on SCP-1667-12 and SCP-1667-13. Subject was then released from ████████ Beach and tracked to coordinates ██°S ███°W. Once D-8268 reached this location, video feed was lost due to equipment failure and subject began noticeably increasing in speed. Analysis of background noise in the audio feed and the muttered commentary of subject D-8268 indicated movement of an underwater entity at least ███ meters in length before [DATA EXPUNGED] resulting in the loss of audio feed and GPS tracking. Notably, 3 minutes and 17 seconds before signal was lost, D-8268 claimed to observe [REDACTED] and ADS oxygen levels began decreasing at a significantly faster rate. Investigation is ongoing. SCP-1667-12 and SCP-1667-13 presumed unrecoverable.
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+
+
Audio File: The final minute recovered from SCP-1667 Audio Feed.
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+
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+
+Further testing of SCP-1667 has been discontinued in order to prevent additional possible containment breaches.
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+
+
Special Containment Procedures: Experimental Containment Unit 6852 shall be provided additional power and coolant as necessary to prevent breach. A 2 MW power plant is currently under construction on site to be dedicated solely to ECU-6852 and is projected to be adequate for another ten years.
+
ECU-6852 is composed of four elements: the core, the gyroscope, the bath, and the superstructure.
+
The central element of the core is a seamless spherical shell of an aluminum-████████████ alloy, 12 mm thick, of radius 1.63 m. This shell was centrifugally cast around a robotic tool which annealed and polished the interior surface to a reflectivity of 2017 GLU1 before self-disposing via [DATA REDACTED], which also evacuated the interior atmosphere to 0.5 pPa, calculated indirectly from the contraction of the aluminum shell under external pressure. Surrounding the alloy shell is a buffer of six hundred fifty four concentric graphene shells, each one atom thick. In this configuration it provides the highest tensile strength of any manufactured material to date, and acts as a perfect rotational bearing, allowing the innermost sphere to remain at rest or to rotate about any axis, at any speed, independent of the gyroscope.
+
The core is enclosed within the gyroscope: a shell of ultrapolished fused silica, 2 cm thick, weighing 60.5 kg, assembled from two hemispheres, and plated on its interior surface with 7 nm of niobium. The gyro is hydrodynamically suspended in a superfluid helium-4 bath at 1.95 K, and rotates in a plane parallel to the surface of the Earth2. At this temperature, the niobium is superconducting; as it rotates, it induces a magnetic field.
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The bath is housed and circulated within the superstructure: a cylindrical Dewar of depleted uranium with ███████magnetic drives ("magdrives") for accelerating and braking the gyro, a separate insulated reservoir, plumbing, instrumentation, and controls to provide circulation of 2.5 ML of total coolant. Authorized personnel may refer to document ECU-6852S, volumes 2-4 for complete schematics.
The hyperreflective surface of the innermost shell suppresses incident radiation across a wide frequency range via █████████ ███████ interference.
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Previous research demonstrates that quantum defects throughout the graphene lattices within the core occur naturally and self-repair spontaneously within the gyroscope's magnetic field. Calculations suggest the graphene shells can be treated as a composite material in a metastable state with a mean of 105 ± 103 defects at its current temperature and pressure. At 70 K, comparable graphene samples were strong enough to contain sustained pressure of 18 MPa, and impulses of 4.2 GPa-msec. As the temperature is reduced, the strength increases exponentially.
+
During the design phase, the containment unit was projected to consume 13.75 kW to maintain systems in a standby state between breach attempts by any SCP within. When active, the bulk of the energy expended by an attempt to breach containment from within will be subsumed by the vacuum uncertainty resulting from the tremendous London moment of the superconducting field. The remaining fraction will be converted to heat in the helium bath. For an arbitrary impulse of energy, this conversion occurs on the order of 100 picoseconds. The resilience of the containment device is limited only by the attainable flow rate, which is maintained automatically, and the size of the coolant reservoir. So long as the helium remains in the superfluid state3, maximum flow rate is far superior to that of other cryogenic coolants. The prototype is rated up to 100 kW of power consumption, and has ten times the coolant necessary for operation at maximum power. In a worst-case scenario, using all the coolant and power resources reasonably available to the Foundation, the device is theoretically capable of containing plasma on the order of fTp4, and physical forces approaching 50% of the Chandrasekhar inversion limit.
+
As a baseline, based on metrics taken from its current containment procedures and history of breaches, indefinite containment of an entity comparable to SCP-076 would require about 17 kW at most.
+
As the device was designed as a proof-of-concept prototype, no particular attention was paid to how an SCP would actually be placed into the core; it was assumed this could be engineered into a later version of the device.
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+
+
+
Description: SCP-1718 is an energetic anomaly that arose during a project managed by the ECRG5 to explore the limits of containment science.
From January to October 2009, ECRG conducted computational simulation, sample fabrication, and prototyped elements of the device.
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Date
+
Event
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+
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December 2, 2009
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ECRG submits proposal 6852, "An ████████████ Containment System" to the O5 Research Subcommittee; Drs. Andrews and Hedley, principal investigators.
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+
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February 23, 2010
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Proposal 6852 is approved and funded.
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+
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March 15, 2010
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Construction of the core begins in Bay 22 at Site-06.
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+
+
May 2010
+
Project timeline is accelerated by three months when ionic sonication techniques for the deposition of graphene are mastered ahead of schedule, allowing for the addition of a new layer every four hours.
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+
+
November 7, 2010
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The gyroscope is assembled at 111 K. It is cooled to 77 K over the next 33 days.
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+
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February 2, 2011
+
Construction is halted for three weeks due to an industrial accident while casting the DU Dewar. Four staff are killed, including Dr. Hedley.
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August 5, 2011
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The superstructure is complete. The gyro is assembled into the Dewar, using liquid nitrogen at 76 K as the initial coolant.
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+
+
September 1, 2011
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Coolant temperature 65 K. Hydrodynamic rotation of the gyroscope initiated at 0.3 rpm.
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October 31, 2011
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Coolant at 9.3 K, rotation 52 rpm. Niobium makes superconducting transition, and the core becomes impervious to most sensors.
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January 2, 2012
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Coolant at 8 K, rotation 72 rpm. The magdrives are first engaged to assist hydrodynamic acceleration of the gyro.
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+
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February 6, 2012
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Coolant at 7 K, rotation 104 rpm. A significant seismic event in the vicinity of Site 12 causes the rupture of a separate system condensing helium-4 for future use. One assistant researcher is killed, two staff are seriously injured. The gyro is stable throughout the event and its aftershocks.
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+
+
May 17, 2012
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Core rotation 112 rpm. Temperature stabilized at 5.2K while staff initiate the replacement of nitrogen coolant with 4He.
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+
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October 18, 2012
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4He at sufficient purity to resume cooling. 115rpm.
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January 3, 2013
+
4He reaches 2.17 K, and transitions to a frictionless superfluid state. As predicted, hydrodynamic acceleration no longer functions.
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+
Once the bath became superfluid, the magdrives were used to accelerate the gyro over twenty-four hours to the target 150,000 rpm. The process completed 57 minutes earlier than predicted, but otherwise without incident. The coolant temperature was further reduced to 1.6 K to provide a safety margin. At this rate of rotation, relativistic effects cause a special case of the dynamical Casimir effect to arise between the opposing points of the niobium shell, bombarding the core with [DATA REDACTED] per design, completing the containment protocol. Instrumentation evidenced power, temperature, and gyroscopic stability at least two orders of magnitude better than its design tolerance, near or beyond the sensitivity of most of the instrumentation.
+
On February 1, in the wake of an unrelated cognitohazard event, Dr. Andrews was administered a Class B amnestic to save his life. He necessarily lost about five years of memories, including all knowledge of project 6852. Though quickly re-immersed in the project documentation and retrained by his former subordinates, he recovered no particular proficiency for the science and engineering techniques he previously pioneered, and expressed profound disbelief of the plausibility of several key components of the design of the containment system.
+
In the original project plan, the ECU was scheduled to burn-in for 90 days. In light of the fact that the research team had effectively lost both of its principal investigators, the containment tests were deemed successful, and deactivation of the device was initiated early (on February 8th) after thirty-five days of nominal operation. The plan called for a five day magdrive spin down at constant temperature, to 0.3 rpm at 1.6 K, followed by a four month warm up to 77 K, whereupon the core would be dismantled and inspected for stress and spallation defects.
+
Seven hours after the magdrives were reversed, no significant slowing of the gyro could be detected. A diagnostic test of the SQUIDs that monitored rotation revealed a calibration drift had occurred, and suggested that the gyro was likely spinning far faster than expected.
+
In his first insight since amnestic treatment, Dr. Andrews theorized that the Coriolis effect, neglected in the original design analysis, had been freely accelerating the frictionless gyro for over a month. However, there was significant disagreement between the research assistants as to whether or not this was a sound application of basic physics. If true, points along the surface of the gyro were calculated to have a speed approaching 0.1c. At the direction of the O5 Research Subcommittee, the strength of the magdrives were eventually increased a hundredfold in an attempt to slow rotation. After fifty-five hours of continuous braking, the recalibrated SQUIDs were able to detect the rotation speed slowing through 352,000 rpm.
+
Seventeen hours later, as the rotation speed slowed to 153,000 rpm (close to the original design speed), an unexpected and unexplained flow of heat into the 4He bath was detected. Automated systems compensated as intended, increasing total power draw (neglecting the magnetic drives) from 13.74 kW to 14.15 kW, and preventing any rise in temperature. The strength of the magdrives was immediately reduced to originally planned levels. Over the course of the next hour, as the magnetic drives slowed the gyroscope to 152,000 rpm, slightly above the original target rate, power draw climbed to 14.89 kW. Though small, the 1.15 kW difference in draw power theoretically corresponds to a sustained explosive force of over a kiloton of TNT within the core.
+
In an abundance of caution, the magdrives were adjusted to hold the rotation rate steady at 152,000 rpm, in order to allow further study without risking breach. Since then, the power necessary for stabilization has continued to climb, at about 500 W per day.
+
If the design theory is correct, the current level of power draw implies forces or temperatures within the core equivalent to 0.7 megatons of continuous explosive force.
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Addendum A:
+
ECRG proposal 6987, "A 1/10th Scale Research Model of ECU-6852" is attached. Drs. Andrews and Smenk, principal investigators.
+
Addendum B:
+
+
Proposal 6987 is hereby rejected. Regarding the prototype, the Foundation will do what it's best at: ECU-6852 is hereby designated SCP-1718. Let's move on, gentlemen.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1804 is to be housed in a secure office at Site-19. Any text produced by SCP-1804 showing anomalous properties shall be treated as a Safe memetic SCP, given the next sequential SCP designation number1 and stored in hardcopy-only format in an adjacent secure document locker.
+
Text produced by SCP-1804 may only be copied as part of an authorized experiment, and such copies must be destroyed upon test completion. After any testing, test subjects must be given Class-A amnestics to remove knowledge of the contents of any anomalous text documents.
+
Description: SCP-1804 is a fully functional Underwood Model #5 Typewriter with a U.S. key layout, manufactured at some time between 1925 and 1928. The machine shows signs of wear consistent with relatively frequent use, as well as several parts that seem to have been replaced and/or serviced during its lifetime. No part of the mechanism is atypical for this model of typewriter, and the materials used in its construction show no abnormalities.
+
When SCP-1804 is used to produce text, the text produced may exhibit anomalous properties. Anomalous effects will not be present if the majority of text is not original to the document being typed. If such properties are present, they will manifest by triggering abnormal cognitive and/or emotional reactions in subjects upon reading the text. Such effects appear to require the subject’s comprehension of the anomalous text and will affect the typist as well as subsequent readers. The exact nature of these effects appears to vary based on the semantic content of the text, the state of mind of the typist, and the intended purpose of the text.
+
When text produced by SCP-1804 shows anomalous properties, those properties will manifest in any copies that retain the exact same semantic meaning as the original typewritten manuscript. This includes photocopies, transcriptions, and OCR scans. Translations into other languages and audio reproductions of anomalous text have, to date, shown no anomalous properties.
Document EX-1804-111A: Experiment Log for SCP-1804
+
+
Test 011
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Designation: N/A
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Date: ██/██/20██
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Subject: D-12758, a bilingual male fluent in English and Spanish.
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Procedure: Subject is told to transcribe the poem "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll (1872) using SCP-1804.
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Results: Resulting document shows no anomalous properties.
+
Notes:Confirms the fact that SCP-1804 only produces anomalous text when the content is substantially original. — Dr. R. ██████
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+
Test 012
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Designation: SCP-1804-27B
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Date: ██/██/20██
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Subject: D-12758, a bilingual male fluent in English and Spanish.
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Procedure: Subject is told to translate the poem "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll (1872) from English to Spanish using SCP-1804.
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Results: All persons reading D-12758's translation become convinced that the poem in question is an original Spanish composition. After typing the original text, D-12758 himself denied authorship and claimed it was an old folktale his grandmother read to him. When shown the original 1872 work, D-12758 theorized that the author plagiarized the ancient Spanish original.
+
Notes:Apparently the act of translation confers enough original content to trigger SCP-1804's effect — Dr. R. ██████
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+
Test 018
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Designation: SCP-1804-29B
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Date: ██/██/20██
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Subject: D-12758, a bilingual male fluent in English and Spanish.
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Procedure: Subject is told to type an original recipe on SCP-1804.
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Results: Subject types a recipe for "Mom's Polenta".2 Subjects who read the recipe develop an aversion to corn and corn-meal based foodstuffs to the point of nausea. No anomalous effects were noted when the recipe was prepared and served to subjects who had not read the recipe.
+
Notes:SCP-1804's effect seems to be influenced quite a bit by the psychological state of the typist.— Dr. R. ██████
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+
Test 037
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Designation: SCP-1804-101B
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Date: ██/12/20██ - ██/19/20██
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Subject: D-56674
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Procedure: Over the course of one week subject was instructed to maintain a daily diary using SCP-1804.
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Results: The psychological state of the subject progressively degraded, showing worsening signs of depression and paranoid delusion. By day seven, subject was convinced that the Foundation was replacing parts of her body with pieces of SCP-1804.3 Subjects reading SCP-1804-101B develop similar symptoms, progressing similarly as each day's document is read.
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Notes:SCP-1804's effect appears to become more profound with repeated exposure as well as with document length. It helps explain why the users of SCP-1804 seem to end up much worse off than those simply exposed to SCP-1804's documents— Dr. R. ██████
+
+
Test 048
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Designation: SCP-1804-106B
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Date: ██/██/20██
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Subject: D-11275
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Procedure: Subject instructed to compose a fictional narrative of at least 1000 words on SCP-1804.
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Results: Subject composes a vignette of a sexual nature detailing a homosexual encounter between [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] from the U.S. television series [REDACTED]. Subjects reading this narrative all express a sense of incompleteness about the "story" in SCP-1804-106B, as well as dissatisfaction in the execution.4 Subjects will subsequently attempt to "do it right," writing their own narratives based loosely on SCP-1804-106B and [REDACTED]. To date, the longest narrative so-produced is a 100,000-word trilogy produced by Dr. S. ██████ after accidental exposure.5
+
Notes:It'd be interesting to see if there are higher-order effects from compositions that are themselves generated from a compulsion due to SCP-1804's effect— Dr. R. ██████
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+
Test 049
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Designation: SCP-1804-107B
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Date: ██/██/20██
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Subject: D-22138
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Procedure: Subject exposed to SCP-1804-106B, then instructed to compose a fictional narrative of at least 1000 words on SCP-1804.
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Results: [REDACTED]
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Notes:Turns out that was not a great idea.— Dr. R. ██████
Document RL-1804-101A: Recovery Log for SCP-1804: Selected list of documents produced by SCP-1804 prior to containment.
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Designation: SCP-1804-1A
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Summary: SCP-1804-1A was a newsletter of the “[REDACTED] Society” written in ██/██/1973 by Mrs. L██ G██████. The newsletter was reproduced via a spirit duplicator6 running to approximately 150 copies. The newsletter compiles a number of popular conspiracy theories of the time, particularly those involving the assassinations of various political figures.
+
Anomalous Effects: Effects are confined to subjects who read SCP-1804-1A in whole and in order.7 Those who are affected begin to show typical signs of paranoid schizophrenia, including delusions of persecution focusing around one or more public figures.8 Symptoms progress over time, and subjects are likely to plan and carry out violence against the public figures that are the targets of their fixation.
+
Containment Notes: SCP-1804-1A9 was recovered by the foundation in 198110 after several detectives involved in the investigation of the murder of ████ ██████ by ████ █████ ██████ were diagnosed with similar psychological problems at around the same time. The copy of SCP-1804-1A [REDACTED] from evidence was replaced by an edited non-anomalous version of the newsletter. To date, ██ copies of SCP-1804-1A have been recovered or confirmed destroyed.
+
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Designation: SCP-1804-2A, SCP-1804-3A
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Summary: SCP-1804-2A, SCP-1804-3A are two undated documents authored by Mrs. L██ G██████ in her capacity as a History teacher at [REDACTED] High School in [REDACTED] between 1961 and 1975. Both were reproduced via a spirit duplicator similar to SCP-1804-1A, both are multiple-choice quizzes. SCP-1804-2A concerns events of the U.S. Civil War and SCP-1804-3A concerns the period of the Great Depression.
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Anomalous Effects: All subjects, after reading either document, will answer each question in exactly the same manner. A subject will answer 19 of 20 questions correctly on SCP-1804-2A and 18 of 20 correctly on SCP-1804-3A. Subjects will answer the same questions incorrectly, and with the same responses. All subjects, regardless of prior knowledge of American history, will believe all provided answers (including incorrect ones) are accurate. No attempt to convince an affected subject otherwise has been successful.
+
Containment Notes: SCP-1804-2A11 and SCP-1804-3A12 were recovered along with over 300 other non-anomalous documents authored by Mrs. G██████ as part of the investigation of SCP-1804-1A.13,14
+
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Designation: SCP-1804-8A
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Summary: SCP-1804-8A is a letter to the editor of the [REDACTED] newspaper in [REDACTED] written by Mr. C█████ D██████ published on ██/██/20██. The letter expresses D██████'s frustration with corruption in city government, with particular attention paid to cronyism in awarding a liquor license to the "Bucking Bronco" saloon despite numerous complaints about solicitation and violations of city ordinances regulating "gentlemans' clubs."
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Anomalous Effects: Subjects reading the letter will develop a strong aversion to public displays of a sexual nature, especially any form of commercial transaction involving sexuality. Subjects will become convinced that all such activity is always illegal regardless of the specific statutes in their current jurisdiction. When confronted directly by someone engaged in such a practice, the subject will be hostile and may respond violently.
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Containment Notes: Two days after the publication of SCP-1804-8A, a riot occurred in which the "Bucking Bronco" saloon was burned to the ground and a mob converged on City Hall and proceeded with an attempted lynching of [REDACTED] Foundation agents arrived as authorities were attempting to suppress the riot and began containment with aerosol dispersal of amnestics. When agents converged on the address where SCP-1804-8A originated, a shootout between Mr. D██████ and MTF agents ensued. The MTF team recovered all copies of SCP-1804-8A in the aftermath. ██ separate anomalous text documents were recovered from the remains of Mr. D██████'s residence, and typographic analysis showed that all were written on SCP-180415, which was also recovered at this time.
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Designation: SCP-1804-13A
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Summary: SCP-1804-13A is a fraudulent suicide note written by Mr. A████ C██████ on ██/██/1939 as part of an elaborate scheme to avoid [REDACTED]. A████ C██████ was discovered by authorities living under an assumed name in [REDACTED] and extradited ██/██/1947 to face trial. Despite significant evidence, including eye-witness testimony to his true identity, he was acquitted in ██/██/1947. Shortly after his release [REDACTED] by agents of [REDACTED]. The body was never recovered.
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Anomalous Effects: Subjects who read SCP-1804-13A’s suicide note are convinced that Mr. C██████ did commit suicide on ██/██/1939, despite all evidence to the contrary. Affected subjects believe that the man apprehended, put on trial, and eventually assassinated was some other person who was the victim of mistaken identity. The affected persons included the judge and jurors at A████ C██████’s trial, as well as A████ C██████ himself.
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Containment Notes: SCP-1804-13A was not reproduced outside court documentation. All known surviving copies of SCP-1804-13A have been recovered.
Summary: SCP-1804-14A, SCP-1804-15A and SCP-1804-16A are all internal memoranda giving executive-level intelligence summaries of [REDACTED] occurring in [REDACTED] in the lead-up to World War II. They were authored by Mr. A████ C██████, a clerk in the United States War Department from ██/██/1932 to ██/██/1939. They appear to be part of a ongoing series of such summaries, all dealing with [REDACTED] use of paranormal [REDACTED].
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Anomalous Effects: The three documents so-far recovered have similar effects. The reader will experience violent disgust at the document’s subject matter, coupled with an existential disbelief in the topics presented. Not only will the subject disbelieve the possibility that [REDACTED] might have some efficacy, they will disbelieve that [REDACTED] would have even attempted to [REDACTED].16 In some cases, this disbelief carries over into a fervent disbelief in all paranormal phenomena.
+
Containment Notes: While over 100 of these memoranda were authored by Mr. C██████ prior to ██/██/1939, most appear to have been destroyed during World War II. Research efforts to recover any remaining copies from U.S. government archives are ongoing.
+
+
Designation: SCP-1804-58A
+
Summary: A pseudonymous 5000-word short story appearing in the Winter 1957 edition of [REDACTED] entitled "The Creeping Chaos of Chi Centaurus." The story concerns the invasion of a Galactic Republic by an invisible and unnameable hostile force that literally rots the societal structure from within. The story is an obvious allegory for the commonly perceived Communist threat in the United States of the era.
+
Anomalous Effects: Readers of the story will develop a strong phobia regarding dirt and germs, often expressing an unfounded belief that the interiors of objects, including people, are rotting away. Subjects will often anthropomorphize decay and sickness to the point where they are convinced that "the forces of entropy" are continually watching them.
+
Containment Notes: SCP-1804-58A17 had been in containment since early 1958, and all editions of the Winter 1957 edition of [REDACTED] were confiscated and pulped excepting █ copies retained for testing. Connection to SCP-1804 and identity of the author was not established until the death of Mrs. W████ K████ in 20██. Mrs. K████ was the surviving spouse of Mr. F████ K████, a minor science-fiction author published in various magazines during the 1950s.18 Mrs. K████ bequeathed her late husband's papers to the University of [REDACTED] resulting in 10 casualties and a police standoff with a graduate student with a high-powered rifle. After the incident, the Foundation recovered the papers from the University and identified 127 separate short stories composed on SCP-1804 between 1955 and 1958, all showing anomalous properties to some degree. ██ of these stories had seen publication, but only SCP-1804-58A had made it into print without editing, and retained SCP-1804's effect.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2075 is to be held in isolation within a Containment Unit capable of being hermetically sealed when required. Containment Unit is to undergo remote decontamination daily (more if deemed necessary). SCP-2075 is to be supplied with bottled water and nutrient capsules via a pneumatic tube three times a day. All interactions with SCP-2075 are to be done by remote microphone.
+
Observational windows are constructed of laminated ballistics glass. Any damage to the containment cell must be repaired immediately by personnel equipped with Level A hazmat gear. SCP-2075-A are to be terminated via incineration and disposed of per hazardous waste protocols unless authorized for research by Site Director. Biopsies are to be stored within individual cryogenic storage units.
+
SCP-2075 has been contained at Sector-G of Biological Containment Site-66 since its transfer from GRU Division "P" on ██/██/1991 in wake of the USSR's dissolution.
+
Description: SCP-2075 is currently a sixty-three-year-old Caucasian male formerly known as Aleksei Kravchuk - a security guard employed by GRU Division "P". SCP-2075 exhales a microbial pathogen capable of extreme neurological alterations. An individual infected by SCP-2075 is classified as SCP-2075-A and is considered an extension of SCP-2075. SCP-2075 is able to exert its anomalous effects regardless of distance after initial infection and will maintain control indefinitely unless SCP-2075-A is destroyed. Experiments using D-Class have suggested SCP-2075 is able to simultaneously use SCP-2075-A as it would its own body. If the primary host is destroyed, the surviving SCP-2075-A will become the acting SCP-2075, exhibiting its anomalous pathogen. SCP-2075 is unable to control more than one SCP-2075-A at a time.
+
SCP-2075 has shown an eager willingness to communicate with Foundation personnel. SCP-2075 claims to have been born in the year 1204 CE.1 Although there exist no records in which to verify its claim, if true then SCP-2075 is estimated to have been 787 years of age at time of its transfer into Foundation custody on ██/██/1991.
+
SCP-2075 prefers to speak in Russian but has also revealed itself fluent in English, German, and an archaic Uralic language that does not coincide with any modern known variants of the Uralic language family. Subject is literate but has made no request for any literature or writing implements.
Foreword: First interview with SCP-2075 after its successful transportation and containment at Biological Containment Site-66.
+
<Begin Log, [13:06]>
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Welcome SCP-2075. I hope that you are comfortable.
+
SCP-2075: Ah. Very much so.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Good. I would like to ask you some questions. Please answer truthfully.
+
SCP-2075: Of course. A man of honesty, I am. Ask your questions…doctor.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Noted. First, what is your name?
+
SCP-2075: Does it matter? You will call me what you will. I am Karcist Varis.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Karcist? Not your birth name, I presume?
+
SCP-2075: It is a title, doctor. But as true a name I might surrender. The name that once belonged to this face is ill suiting, no?
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Very well. Do you know why you are here?
+
+SCP-2075: For same reason Tsars keep me in dungeon. For same reason Stalin experiment. You are afraid, doctor. Much as they were.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Please explain your anomalous nature, if able.
+
SCP-2075: One might as well explain the sun to the moon.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Try me.
+
SCP-2075: When I was small, the Church spoke of two worlds; one of flesh and one of spirit. This is incorrect. There is no perfection in duality. I learned of the oneness of all. Tell me: what does the color yellow feel like? I know you can state some science but no words will translate the experience. My nature is much the same.
+
I can show you. Come inside, doctor.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: I think we'll stop here. Thank you for your time.
Foreword: Seventh interview with SCP-2075. Conversation to focus on missing GRU Division "P" reports.
+
<Begin Log, [14:30]>
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: When were you first detained? GRU Division "P" were unable to provide much documentation about you. Said something about a fire in '55?
+
SCP-2075: This was before GRU Division "P". Before Lenin, Stalin or revolution. It was the Time of Troubles, yes?2
+
I was proselytizing in Novgorod. Spreading the good word. A massacre had occurred just thirty years prior and I could feel the mounds of dead as I walked. Serf, szlachta, and boyar. All were pleased to receive me.
+
But not one, dear doctor. I had one detractor.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Please continue.
+
SCP-2075: An Archpriest of the Eastern Orthodoxy, he was. Declared me witch, heretic, and Bogomil.3 Of which I was none! Pfft. The audacity of that man.
+
He whipped mob into frenzy. Torn to pieces, I was. Watched the entire event from afar.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: So you say. Explain to me your experience.
+
SCP-2075: Do you die if you lose finger? [Chuckles] A very humbling experience, to observe a piece of yourself destroyed.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: An interesting tale but that was not my question. When were you first contained by GRU Division "P"?
+
SCP-2075: So impatient you are. I have all the time in the world.
Special Containment Procedures: As of ██/██/2014, SCP-2075 is currently uncontained and its location is unknown.
+
Description: SCP-2075 is a gestalt consciousness currently occupying an unknown number of hosts. SCP-2075 exhales a microbial pathogen capable of extreme neurological alterations. Those infected by SCP-2075 are SCP-2075-A and are considered an extension of SCP-2075. SCP-2075 is able to exert its anomalous effects regardless of distance after initial infection and will maintain control indefinitely unless SCP-2075-A are destroyed.
+
+
<Site-66 Surveillance [24:00]>
+[Three men enter the Containment Site. They have been identified as Dr. Albert Cronenberg and security personnel Jacob D. Moore and Jonathan Li.]
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: You requested to speak with me? I am not at your beck and call, SCP-2075.
+
SCP-2075: Yet you come when beckoned.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: [Audibly sighs] My patience with you has long since waned. Speak and be quick about it.
+
+SCP-2075: I have seen enough of this place. I will be leaving you now.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Are you threatening a containment breach?
+
SCP-2075: I have long looked over your shoulder. Truth be told, the man you now observe in your cage could leave whenever he wished. I believe you miscalculated the sum of my parts. Tell me: if you cage the limb of an octopus, have you truly caged the octopus? This one has so many arms to spare…
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: What is this?
+
SCP-2075: My containment. It never truly mattered. I have always been quite free. Turn to the right, doctor. Smile for camera. A message is being sent.
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: [glances at the security camera]
+
SCP-2075: "And Ion held six fingers aloft and upon their spears did the soldiers impale themselves."
+
Jacob D. Moore: "'For you!' they cried before the blood drowned their tongues. And Ion said, 'Now do you see?'"
+
+Jonathan Li: "And Nadox wept, as more did skewer themselves in Ion's name, for he had seen and now knew the truth of his words."
+
Dr. Albert Cronenberg: Security! Security! [Dr. Cronenberg appears to struggle with Security Officer Li]
+
SCP-2075: Do you see?
+
[Security Officer Li appears to hold Dr. Cronenberg while Security Officer Moore stabs him in the abdomen with a dagger of ceremonial design; weapon later designated an anomalous object.]
+
<Video ends abruptly, surveillance camera destroyed>
+
+
Security Personnel were alerted when SCP-2075's Containment Unit ruptured. An amorphous mass of flesh and bone, considerable in size, destroyed or disabled defense parameters. Sector-G was flooded with chlorine trifluoride, eliminating the biological agent. Heavy casualties were suffered, including fifty-six fatalities. Sector-G was deemed a complete loss and is currently being reconstructed. DNA found spread throughout Sector-G matched that of Dr. Albert Cronenberg, presumed deceased.
+
Investigation concluded that Jacob D. Moore and Jonathan Li were both aspects of SCP-2075. Each had over ten years of exceptional service to the Foundation. It is unknown when they were first linked to SCP-2075 but is believed to have occurred prior to joining the Foundation. Partial remains with their DNA, as well as that of SCP-2075, were found within Sector-G. Due to the true capabilities of SCP-2075, it is now believed to have never been fully contained by GRU Division "P" or the Foundation.
+
Discovered within Sector-G was a ring-shaped object constructed of palladium weighing 2.26 kilograms and with a circumference of 22 centimeters. Object is non-anomalous and depicts an Ouroboros, believed to be a symbol of religious significance.
+
GRU Division "P" personnel associated with original containment have been sought for information about SCP-2075; all were recorded as deceased or missing.
Info about the article
+⚠️ Content warning: This article contains the following:
+- Gore
+- Torture
+- Child death
+- Reference to real-world atrocities
SCP-2177 infection ██ months after an Alpha event.
+
+
+
Item #: SCP-2177
+
Object Class: Euclid
+
Special Containment Procedures: STRIX intelligence packages embedded in library collections management software are to monitor institutions for titles associated with SCP-2177 infection. Infections have been identified in 17 institutions, including ██ academic libraries, █ private collections, and the former non-classified public library of Site 111.
+
Infected institutions are to be infiltrated by at least two Level-2 personnel in supervisory positions, including at least one containment specialist with training in library/information science. SCP-2177 infections are to be quarantined in restricted collections or secure archives not open to the public. In order to avoid Alpha events, new instances of SCP-2177-1 must be shelved according to existing institutional policies. No attempt should be allowed to remove SCP-2177 infections from these institutions. Civilians exposed to SCP-2177-1 are to be detained and administered Class C amnestics.
+
In order to avoid Beta events, Regional Directors have been authorized to provide financial and political support required to keep infected institutions in operation. If a Beta event is unavoidable, Mobile Task Force Alpha-4 ("Pony Express") is to intercept all deliveries of documents to vulnerable institutions and seize SCP-2177-1 instances until such time as a suitable institution can be infiltrated and infected.
+
Description: SCP-2177 is a virus-like pathogen that targets libraries holding print subscriptions to large numbers (> 50) of technical journals. SCP-2177 takes the form of documentation requesting that a journal or document be added to the institution’s collection. This request is always in the correct format for the receiving institution, and occasionally includes misinformation suggesting a pre-existing record. Once SCP-2177 has been entered into the catalog in any capacity, its record is altered to indicate an ongoing subscription to a technical journal. This facilitates reproduction, with new instances of SCP-2177-1 arriving amongst existing subscriptions. Reproduction rates range from 1 item every three months to 1 item per month2.
+
SCP-2177-1 refers to the viral envelope of SCP-2177, which always takes the form of a 24 x 30 cm technical journal bound in yellow pasteboard. SCP-2177-1 always contains the SCP-2177 pathogen, although in advanced infections this may only consist of a tailored address label. SCP-2177-1 contents and findings are not anomalous, but always refer to large-scale unethical testing on human subjects. (Sample contents of SCP-2177-1 are available in Addendum 2177-01.)
+
Alpha events occur when infected institutions intentionally discard new instances of SCP-2177-1, attempt to physically remove all SCP-2177-1 instances, or attempt to eliminate SCP-2177 from the catalog. SCP-2177 infections have been shown to adapt to these threats in the following ways:
+- Drastically increasing reproduction rates (up to 1 item per week).
+- Subdividing to multiply reproduction (e.g dividing a title into Series A, B, and C)
+- Creating additional instances of infection under other titles and technical fields.
+
Beta events occur when an SCP-2177 infection is successfully eliminated or when an infected institution ceases operation. In Beta events, SCP-2177 will be transmitted to other vulnerable libraries until at least one institution becomes infected. Transmission vectors include any shipment of documents to a library, including returned materials and large donations. SCP-2177 will initially target institutions with names or street addresses superficially similar to the previously-infected institution, but these criteria become less strict as transmission time increases.
Subject matter: Military aviation
+Publication date: May 1947
+Example article: Effective kill radius of 550-lb (sic) aerial bombs.
+Findings: Detailed explanations of anatomical effects based on human subjects restrained at various distances from a static ground explosion. (Please see Document 2177-1947-01 for historical context of these data.)
+
Subject matter: Rocketry and astronautics
+Publication date: September 1961
+Example article: The development of a system of starvation and torture that does not interfere with fine motor control necessary to assemble complex rocketry components.
+Findings: Although several programs are successfully implemented, work quality in all cases was significantly lower than in the control group.
+
Subject matter: Psychiatry
+Publication date: June 1976
+Example article: A review and meta-analysis of 125 studies of "extrasensory perception" using chemical intervention, neurosurgery, or induced trauma.
+Findings: Flagged for similarity to SCP-2498, SCP-2664, and [DATA EXPUNGED]. Six studies claimed weak evidence of anomalous mental phenomena, but the authors attributed this to normal statistical error. Most methods produced especially high casualty rates in children.
+
Subject matter: Telecommunications
+Publication date: April 1982
+Example article: The efficacy of the human optic nerve as a transmission medium for long-distance communication.
+Findings: Communications using these networks showed 100% data loss in addition to the severe logistical challenges in acquiring sufficient material for testing.
+
Subject matter: Forensic Biology
+Publication date: July 2008
+Example article: The ability to physically or mentally distinguish between identical twins.
+Findings: Flagged for similarity to procedures 221-Crenshaw and 198-Cardinal. Researchers proceeded to vivisect or autopsy all subjects regardless of any differences detected.
+
Subject matter: Climate-Change Ecology
+Publication date: September 2012
+Example article: Potential human adaptations for survival in an amphibious environment.
+Findings: Flagged for similarity to [DATA REDACTED]. All subjects expired from infection, complications from surgery, or forced drowning.
This document was retrieved from the oldest known instance of SCP-2177-1, a dormant bound volume located in the restricted archives of the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum. Research findings and methodologies contained within this instance were identical to known research conducted under the guise of the Kantōgun Bōeki Kyūsuibu Honbu3 between the years of 1935 and 1945. Although no SCP-2177 pathogen could be located, the following dedication was included on the front plate of the volume.
+
+
Dear Mr. President,
+
Based on your recent acquisitions, we are pleased to note your keen interest in our fields of research. We look forward to a long and fruitful relationship with the scientific community of this nation.
+
Warmest regards,
+- The Society for Advanced Human Research
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2347 is kept in a Standard Humanoid Containment Cell, which is to be kept at 50-55 ºC at all times. All interactions with SCP-2347 are to be performed by telepresence robots and there is a 10 meter buffer zone surrounding the containment cell, which must be kept free of any warm-blooded animal life outside of testing procedures. SCP-2347 is not allowed any food, drink, or hygiene substances less than 45 ºC in temperature.
+
In the event of a containment breach, SCP-2347 may be subdued with standard non-lethal human threat neutralization protocols. If standard protocols are not feasible or otherwise ineffective, personnel are instructed to rapidly decrease the temperature of the environment surrounding SCP-2347, preferably to a minimum of 15 ºC, until Phase 2 has completed. This method is not recommended as primary procedures due to the high risk of collateral damage and, if enacted, all personnel should maintain a minimum distance of 10 meters until Phase 2 has completed.
+
Description: SCP-2347 is a genetically-human male capable of involuntary heat transmission and exothermic self-resurrection. Aside from its involuntary properties, SCP-2347 is physically and functionally identical to a baseline non-anomalous human and requires standard feeding and medical care.
+
SCP-2347's properties can be divided into 2 phases. The length of Phase 1 is dependent upon environmental factors, and has been observed to last from as little as 17 minutes up to 37 days. During this phase, the thermal equilibrium process of the environment immediately surrounding SCP-2347 is reversed such that SCP-2347 experiences a net gain in heat while the environs experience a net loss of heat if SCP-2347 is warmer than the environs, and the reverse occurs if SCP-2347's body temperature is colder than the environs. The rate of transfer is proportional to the ambient temperature, and is at its minimum at 53-54 ºC. SCP-2347 has been observed to experience hypothermia symptoms when the ambient temperature is greater than 65 ºC.
+
Once SCP-2347 has transferred a sufficient amount of heat (enough to increase its body temperature to approximately 40-43ºC), it will spontaneously combust. All soft tissues will increase in temperature to a minimum of 150ºC in less than 1 seconds and will maintain this temperature until all soft tissues have been converted to ash. Fire control measures are able to minimize damage to the surrounding environment, but are unable to prevent the consumption of SCP-2347.
+
Once SCP-2347 has completed the combustion event, it will enter Phase 2. All bony structures remaining will maintain a maximum distance of 0.8 meters from each other and will slowly move in order to reconstruct a normal human skeletal configuration over the course of 24 hours.1 Once the reconstruction is complete, the skeletal remains will experience a brief period of extreme heat transfer, reducing the temperature of the surrounding environs by as much as 25 ºC in less than 3 seconds. This results in the reappearance of SCP-2347, naked and unharmed.
+
SCP-2347 has no unusual physical resilience to thermal extremes or unusual pain capacity. Based on observations and self-reports, SCP-2347 fully experiences its immolation events as a non-anomalous human would. It is intensely averse to experiencing these events and is fully cooperative with Foundation efforts to minimize their frequency.
Image of SCP-2362 and its satellites taken before launch of Orpheus
+
+
+
Item #: SCP-2362
+
Object Class: Keter
+
Special Containment Procedures: Public knowledge of SCP-2362 in its current state is to be suppressed by any means necessary. Interception and suppression of astronomical data indicating the current state of SCP-2362, the organic composition of SCP-2362, or the existence of SCP-2362-1 is conducted by Mobile Task Force Omicron-12 (“Planet Killers”). MTF Omicron-12 is also tasked with fabricating astronomical data in order to decrease public interest in SCP-2362.
+
In the event that the current state of SCP-2362 becomes apparent to the public through some lapse in Foundation security, MTF Omicron-12 will disseminate fabricated data indicating that SCP-2362 was reduced to its current state during a collision with a Kuiper Belt object of comparable size (situational contingency protocol 2362-A).
+
In the event that the existence of SCP-2362-1 becomes apparent to the public, MTF Omicron-12 will disseminate fabricated data indicating that SCP-2362-1 is merely a Kuiper Belt object following an escape orbit resulting from gravitational interaction with neighboring objects (situational contingency protocol 2362-B).
+
Should SCP-2362-1 reach a great enough distance to render it undetectable by civilian and government equipment, MTF Omicron-12 will disseminate partially accurate data indicating the current state of SCP-2362 along with fabricated data indicating that SCP-2362 was reduced to its current state during a collision with a Kuiper Belt object of comparable size (situational contingency protocol 2362-C).
+
Any civilian or government probes sent to investigate SCP-2362 or SCP-2362-1 must be intercepted.
+
Researchers interpreting data from the Foundation lunar radio observatory are to notify O5 command of any changes in the trajectory of SCP-2362-1 immediately.
+
Description: SCP-2362 is the designation of Pluto, an interior Kuiper Belt object, following the discovery of its organic composition by Foundation researchers in 1983. SCP-2362 is currently a trans-Neptunian debris field orbiting the Sun with an aphelion1 of 48.9 AU, a perihelion2 of 29.7 AU, a mean eccentricity3 of 0.248, and an orbital period4 of 248 years. SCP-2362 was reduced to this state during the emergence of SCP-2362-1 from its southern pole (see event log 2362-A).
+
SCP-2362-1 is an object approximately 900 km in length, consisting of a bell-shaped mass with thirteen trailing appendages and generally resembling a jellyfish of the genus Pelagia. It radiates blue light and has no discernible surface features. SCP-2362-1 is able to propel itself by expanding and contracting its appendages. The mechanism of this propulsion is poorly understood, but may have some similarity to conventional ion propulsion given the stream of charged particles detected in the object's wake. Upon its emergence, the natural satellites of SCP-2362 were torn apart by tidal forces and now form part of the debris field. SCP-2362-1 is currently following an escape trajectory as it heads towards the vicinity of Barnard’s Star at a speed exceeding 30,000 m/s. As it is estimated to leave the solar system at some point within the year 20██, the object is not considered a threat to life on Earth at this point in time.
+
While SCP-2362 is visible from Earth through high power telescopes, the debris field is dense enough that a difference from its appearance previous to event 2362-A is only perceptible with the telescopes of some observatories and artificial satellites. MTF Omicron-12 has infiltrated said observatories and satellites, preventing them from obtaining new images of SCP-2362 (including images of SCP-2362 fragments that have left the vicinity of the debris field) or any images of SCP-2362-1.
+
Foundation probe 76EU ("Eurydice") is currently en route to SCP-2362-1.
+
Event Log 2362-A:
+
+
05/05/2006: Radar data from Foundation probe 45OR (“Orpheus”), currently in orbit of SCP-2362, indicates that the central mass of the object is rapidly shifting towards its southern pole. While SCP-2362 is already suspected to be of biological origin given its exclusively organic composition, a hypothesis that SCP-2362 is a living organism is put forward by the Orpheus research team stationed at Site-██.
+
05/21/2006: Orpheus data indicates that the surface of SCP-2362 is beginning to disintegrate. Large fissures open across the object as material begins to slough off and form a cloud around it.
+
06/10/2006: A gigantic fissure begins to open across the object’s southern pole. Fissure measures approximately 50 km in length and 10 km in width.
+
06/11/2006: Fissure measures approximately 230 km in length and 50 km in width.
+
06/12/2006: Fissure measures approximately 950 km in length and 370 km in width. Orbits of satellites are noticeably deteriorating.
+
06/23/2006: Thirteen masses begin to protrude from southern fissure, each 50 km across. Seven of the masses appear to be pushing against one side of the fissure with six pushing against the other side.
+
06/27/2006: Fissure widens to fully encompass SCP-2362 as the thirteen masses further protrude from it. The object splits into two halves, revealing that SCP-2362 is a hollow shell around its central mass. Central mass is designated as SCP-2362-1.
+
07/04/2006: SCP-2362-1 departs from vicinity of SCP-2362. As SCP-2362-1 contracts and expands its appendages, the object somehow achieves a constant acceleration of approximately 10 m/s2. As SCP-2362-1 leaves SCP-2362 behind, its tidal forces tear it and its satellites apart, forming a large debris field. SCP-2362-1 ceases acceleration after approximately 50 minutes, bringing its speed to over 30,000 m/s.
+
+
Addendum 1: Following infiltration by MTF Omicron-12, the International Astronomical Union revoked the status of “Pluto” as a planet on 08/24/2006 . While creating controversy and greatly increasing the exposure of SCP-2362 in the short term, it is deemed necessary for discouraging public interest in it in the long term.
+
SCP-2362 will remain known to scientists and astronomy enthusiasts, but common knowledge of SCP-2362 will likely subside within one to two generations as it is no longer included in textbook lists of planets and receives less attention from educational programming.
+
+
+
Fabricated image of SCP-2362 received by NASA from intercepted flyby mission "New Horizons"
+
+
+
Addendum 2: While the NASA probe “New Horizons” is intended to provide the public with the first detailed images of SCP-2362, MTF Omicron-12 has successfully intercepted the mission and is releasing false data accordingly. Fortunately as with most NASA missions, public interest is sufficiently low, so it is considered to be of little risk.
+
Addendum 3: Recently gathered spectrographic data suggests that trans-Neptunian objects Haumea, Eris, and Makemake are of similar organic composition to SCP-2362. Foundation probes 87KA ("Kaulu"), 88AL ("Algos"), and 89TA ("Tangata") are currently en route to these objects respectively. Foundation astronomers are now conducting mass spectral analysis of Kuiper Belt and Scattered Disk objects.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2417 is to be stored in a standard containment chamber at Site-201. Every 24 hours a vial containing 0.5 mL of blood is to be provided to SCP-2417. Interviews with SCP-2417 are to have the interviewee and SCP-2417 separated by wall, with microphones and speakers used for communication. Paper and/or blood is to be given as a reward for information.
+
Description: SCP-2417 is a piece of sapient white kami paper.1 SCP-2417 is able to fold itself into various shapes and locomote. Its preferred shape resembles an octopus with seven arms, with a height of 8 cm and a width of 14 cm. SCP-2417 can vocalize through anomalous means, being conversant in English and a language referred to as "Ortothan". Work on translating this language is underway, with assistance from SCP-2417.
+
SCP-2417 is skilled at origami when paper is brought to it, and has decorated its containment chamber with its creations. It manipulates the paper by folding parts of its body into various manipulator appendages. The models it creates have no known anomalous properties, and it has been deemed safe to bring paper to SCP-2417 as a reward for cooperation.
+
SCP-2417 worships a deity it calls Rakmou-leusan, and claims to be part of an organization known as "The Church of the Second Hytoth".2 SCP-2417 claims that Rakmou-leusan requires a blood sacrifice each day in order to aid him. These rituals consist of SCP-2417 creating a small incision on the finger or palm of a human subject. SCP-2417 will then absorb the blood, which disappears after 20 seconds. The more days that pass without a sacrifice will cause increasing amounts of anxiety in SCP-2417, claiming that "Rakmou-leusan's end is coming." After roughly 5 days SCP-2417 will begin hiding in a corner of the room, often turning itself into a cube or pyramid shape. When a human subject enters the chamber during this time SCP-2417 will attack the subject in an attempt at gaining blood.
+
SCP-2417 was found in the apartment of Alison Killian, owner of an origami store in Toronto, Canada by a personal acquaintance on 09/08/2016. Alison had died on a vacation in Germany from internal hemorrhaging a day prior to the discovery. The acquaintance called the police after reportedly being assaulted by "living origami." An undercover Foundation agent intercepted the call, and MTF-Upsilon-20 ("Hogtown Garrison") was dispatched to the location under the guise of police officers.
+
SCP-2417 and various pieces of origami were discovered in the kitchen. These pieces included a set of stairs leading to the kitchen table and cupboards, seven four-armed humanoid figures, spires, and a small circular table. Other items found in the apartment include a jar of blood, stacks of kami paper, religious documents regarding the Church of the Second Hytoth, and origami similar in appearance to SCP-2417's preferred form. Based on the documents, it is believed that Alison Killian was a member of the Church of the Second Hytoth. An investigation into the existence and whereabouts of the church is currently underway.
SCP-2417: Greetings doctor. Are you here to give some more blood? What you have given will suffice, but more is always appreciated.
+
Dr. Akio: No, I'm here to ask you some questions.
+
SCP-2417: Oh, in that case go ahead.
+
Dr. Akio: Before we begin, is there any name you would prefer to be called? I understand that for some being called SCP-2417 may be strange.
+
SCP-2417: Call me Aímact Priest Alison Killian of the Church of the Second Hytoth.
+
Dr. Akio: So… Alison, to start things off, who or what is Rakmou-leusan?
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SCP-2417: Oh, the grand Rakmou-leusan! Last of the great Koru-teusa, the seven holy warrior gods of the Second Hytoth, our world. While they fell, Rakmou-leusan lives on and defends the gates to our realm!
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Dr. Akio: The Koru-teusa?
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SCP-2417: The Holy Seven were once beings like you and I, who ascended from their mortal forms to combat forces from the Voru, the outside realm, that threatened reality. They fought for aeons to protect us and those that came before us, but have been lost or defeated one by one. The first sacrificed himself to save us all. The second and the third, killed by the jealousy and hatred of each other. The fifth forgotten. The sixth, killed in combat. The seventh ceased to exist. Rakmou-leusan, the fourth, is the sole defender of our realm.
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Dr. Akio: I see. So, why do you need to give Rakmou-leusan blood?
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SCP-2417: Ponder what occurs when a human loses blood. They become light headed, they become weak, they faint. When one ascends from mortal to god, you keep some part of your mortal form. The Koru-teusa kept their blood, yet it would leak. Their divine forms could not keep their mortal blood within them, yet they needed it like us. So they required those before us to give them blood, a requirement that was passed down to us. As time went by, they were forgotten, and without their blood they fell. Few know of Rakmou-leusan, and the ones who know are killed by the Church's enemies.
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Dr. Akio: I assume the rest of your church believes in the same thing.
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SCP-2417: What point is there in believing in what we know as the truth?
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Dr. Akio: Hmm. The church also performs rituals similar to yours, correct?
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SCP-2417: Yes, though while I can channel blood into Rakmou-leusan's form, the others require a stone with the holy mark of the Koru-teusa that will be bathed in the blood to transport it.
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Dr. Akio: Now, you said our world is the Second Hytoth. This means there was a first one, right?
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SCP-2417: Yes, a strange and alien world. A testing ground for universes to come.
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Dr. Akio: What happened to it?
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SCP-2417: It was devoured by a beast whose horrid name has been forgotten.
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Dr. Akio: Is this beast still around?
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SCP-2417: The truth has been lost to the aeons, though some say that the beast silently lurks in unseen corners of areas between realms. Perhaps one day it will return, as all things must hunger eventually.
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Dr. Akio: One last question. As the last of the Koru-teusa, what would happen if Rakmou-leusan died?
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SCP-2417: Imagine releasing poison into a pond full of fish. From where it was released it will spread throughout the pond, and it will kill all the life within it. The endless horrors that roam the Voru are that poison, and they would not hesitate to enter if given the chance. Our existence depends on Rakmou-leusan, and his depends on us.
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Dr. Akio: Well, thank you for the interview, Alison.
SCP-2417: Sure, but be sure to provide some blood afterwards. Rakmou-leusan needs strength to vanquish his enemies.
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Dr. Akio: Certainly. Now, can you tell us some information about your life?
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SCP-2417: In the beginning my mind was brought from the pools of unreality into existence, on August 3rd, 20- no, 19- it was on August 3rd. I seem to have forgotten the year, though that doesn't matter right now. My family did not bring me into the Church, for they knew not of Rakmou-leusan's glory.
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Dr. Akio: At what point did you join?
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SCP-2417: I was ignorant to the Church until the second year of college, when I met Diana Olivier, a roommate of mine. She was the one who taught me of the Church and the truth of the universe. I remained skeptical until I performed my first blood sacrifice. Diana took the knife to my left index finger and created a small cut. My blood dripped out onto a stone marked with the holy heptagon. When it made contact I saw… I felt…
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Dr. Akio: Well?
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SCP-2417: My apologies. I am still entranced by that moment. My mind was whisked away to some long forgotten corner of the universe. That's when I saw the Holy Fourth in all his glory, suspended above a hole in reality. Though my eyes perceived a mass of light and arches of darkness, my mind saw a knight in battered yet gleaming white armor. My mind became connected with the universe for a split second, and I knew that I had to learn more. Sadly this is where my memory greatly deteriorates, and much of my past becomes isolated from my mind.
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Dr. Akio: Hmm. Can you remember what you did immediately before we met you?
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SCP-2417: I lived in the home of a fellow Aíma Priest, Alison- wait, her name was… No, that's not possible… But she… Her name isn't important. She was a nice person, yet she died before I could know her well.
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Dr. Akio: I'm sorry for your loss, Alison.
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SCP-2417: Do not feel sorry, for her spirit now resides in a better realm. Anyways after her death my old friend Hanae Chiyo came to visit, who seemed, disturbed. I know not why she acted the way she did, but she ran out of the apartment. You know very well what happens next.
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Dr. Akio: Well, if you are able to remember anything else be sure to let us know.
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SCP-2417: It will be a big discovery for the two of us. Before you leave, may I make a request?
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Dr. Akio: Anything that will improve your stay.
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SCP-2417: Can you contact the Church? I wish to know how they are doing. They've been going through tough times recently, and I need to make sure Rakmou-leusan continues to be well supplied. Contact them at [REDACTED].
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Dr. Akio: I'll get right on it.
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[END LOG]
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NOTE: Following the interview an attempt at contacting the Church via the provided phone number was attempted. An automated message played, stating "The Church of the Second Hytoth is currently busy. Please call again at a later date. Praise the Fourth." Further attempts have had the same result. Currently SCP-2417 has not been informed of this.
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Addendum-2: On 19/08/2016 a letter arrived at the apartment building Alison Killian resided in, and was intercepted by undercover Foundation operatives. Inspection has revealed it to have no known anomalous properties. As of the time of writing SCP-2417 has not been shown the letter.
It is good to hear that the ritual worked! Like many of the old ritual instructions we have laying around, you can never be sure if the outcomes are what they say to be, or if there are any unintended side effects (such as that one time in Austria). I'm currently organizing various other priests to perform the same ritual once we are ready, though there are few people who can make origami as good as yours.
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However, I feel like we might want to change the plan. If we let the origami vessels out into the wild, who's to say that an enemy could trick them into divulging information? If they get destroyed (which is very likely) it would be a waste of time, effort and blood. Your idea also seems like it could get violent quickly, which would make us no better than the Daevas who tainted our reputation. Now, I know what I'm about to say can't be changed for the plan, but the idea of amnesiac vessels of myself and friends wandering around feels strange. It will probably take a while for some people to get used to that idea.
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Ultimately this would increase the Church's size and make it easier to gain and send blood, but these issues need to be sorted out first. Anyways, I hope you enjoy your trip in Germany! Tell your vessel (and any other ones) I said hello!
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Grand Aímact Priest Sean Glen-Marcas
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Addendum-3: On 25/08/2016, at approximately 2:51 PM, Dr. Akio entered a side room next to SCP-2417's chamber for a third interview. The rooms were separated by glass panel with small holes for sound to travel through. Upon entering the room SCP-2417 folded itself to go through the holes and attacked Dr. Akio, cutting his jugular. This caused Akio to die from blood loss three minutes later. SCP-2417 then absorbed the blood, with the stains fading out after three hours. SCP-2417 claims that it had to do so to prevent the death of Rakmou-leusan. Containment procedures have been updated, and a reclassification of SCP-2417 to Euclid is pending. A full incident report can be seen in Incident Report 2417-A1.
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As of the recent discovery of a Church of the Second Hytoth meeting place in Vancouver, the existence of the Church has been confirmed and a full investigation is in progress. Due to this it has been deemed important to give SCP-2417 blood so further interviews are possible. As it is likely SCP-2417's concerns over the state of the Church contributed to the incident, SCP-2417 will be continually informed of the status of the Church.
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I could feel Rakmou-leusan dying. The unholy Voruteut surrounded him, inflicting wound upon wound, clawing at gashes in his armor. I could've waited for the Church to act, though I did not want to wait for what might not occur. So I took the doctor's life, and channeled his blood to Rakmou-leusan. I wish I did not have to perform such a horrible task, but without blood infinite lives would be lost. Do not worry, the doctor's spirit has gone to the Eitoth to compensate for his tragic death. Whether he stays or returns is up to him now.
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The following day SCP-2417 began writing on a piece of paper in its chamber, using one of its tendrils as a pen, with ink coming out of it. When questioned about the purpose of writing this, SCP-2417 said that it wanted to "spread the truth of the universe." Below is a transcription of what was written, translated from Ortothan.
Rakmou-leusan stands at the gates of the Second Hytoth.
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His four arms wield his staffs of triumph, stained with the blood of invaders.
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For five aeons he has guarded this world, and will do so for aeons more.
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Him and his brethren fled the First Hytoth, and vowed to protect those that would follow.
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When there were seven he defeated the One of Dark's attempts at claiming the new world.
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When there were six he quelled the rising of the broken creation and locked his city away.
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When there were four he saved Kornoct, watcher of the Eitoth, from Wonlaik the trickster's treachery.
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When there were three he ended the uprising of the First Gods.
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When there were two he slayed Wonlaik, who regrows to this day.
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When there were one he fended off the Voruteut's invasions.
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Rakmou-leusan did not give into the lost of the First Hytoth's harmonious screams.
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He did not bow to the god king of the star's voice.
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He did not budge or accept defeat like his brethren.
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Rakmou-leusan will fight on till death, till the end of time, till the nameless creator no longer watches.
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Rakmou-leusan will protect us.
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Addendum-4: Following the containment of SCP-2417, multiple anomalies related to the Church of the Second Hytoth (designated GoI#03088) and their Ortothan mythology have been discovered, including SCP-2742, SCP-3140, and SCP-3417. SCP-2651 and SCP-2821 have suspected but unconfirmed connections. Investigation into the group is ongoing.
Special Containment Procedures: Due to its position and properties, SCP-2460 is not contained at this time. Space agencies are to be informed of SCP-2460's trajectory so that satellites and launches do not collide with SCP-2460. When doing so, SCP-2460 is to be listed as a large piece of space debris. No object is allowed within 50 km of SCP-2460.
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Any matter colliding with SCP-2460 must be reported to the astronomical tracking unit at Site-195 immediately. In the event of a collision, the mass, density, and Schwarzschild radius of SCP-2460 must be remeasured and its resulting new orbital trajectory calculated.
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Description: SCP-2460 is a gravitational anomaly in elliptical orbit around the Earth. It has an orbital period of 4 hours, with a furthest distance from the surface of the Earth of 12,430 km and a closest approach of 395 km. Measurement of the gravitational anomaly indicates it has a mass of 1.24 x 1013 kg. At the location of the anomaly, there is an apparent object of approximately 50m x 30m x 15m. This gives the object a measured density of 5.51 x 108 kg/m3, which is approximately 100,000 times the density of the Earth and close to the density of a white dwarf star.
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The shape of this object is variable in appearance, with components of different materials appearing to erupt from the surface of the object only to be reabsorbed. Furthermore, the object is virtually invisible to electromagnetic radiation and has no measurable charge, magnetic moment, or wave emissions. However, despite this behavior, photons in the visible light spectrum still interact with the object, albeit at a low albedo of 0.01.
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The anomaly behaves very differently on the quantum level. SCP-2460 is comprised of bosonic matter that anomalously maintains much of the structure of fermionic (normal) matter. This anomalous construction causes the Pauli Exclusion Principle not to apply, allowing matter to occupy the same quantum state as other similarly composed bosonic matter. In addition, electromagnetic interaction is suppressed. As a result, the bosonic electron fields between objects in SCP-2460 do not repel each other.
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The net result of these anomalous quantum effects is that multiple individual objects within SCP-2460 occupy the same place at the same time. What appears to be objects growing out of and receding into SCP-2460 is actually thousands of colocating objects oscillating about the gravitational center of the anomaly. The exceptionally high mass of SCP-2460 is the result of these thousands of individual objects occupying the same location, all gravitationally bound together.
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It is important to note that this colocation is not a spatiotemporal distortion, but the net result of the lack of interaction between individual objects in the anomaly. There is no risk of a "reversion" to a Euclidean space, because the space is already Euclidean.
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The influence of the gravitation of thousands of objects acts as a strange attractor, keeping each individual object within 105 m of the center of SCP-2460 at all times. The chaotic nature of the attractor has caused multiple objects to be shown at the surface of SCP-2460 at different intervals. Most of the items expressed are space dust and rocky debris similar in composition to asteroids. The following items are notable, however:
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A planetesimal with the above dimensions of 50m x 30m x 15m. This item acts as the "surface" of SCP-2460. Of note is the distinct lack of cratering on the surface.
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A comet nucleus of approximately 5m diameter. Visible spectral analysis suggests that the object's original location was the Oort cloud.
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A spacefaring vessel of unknown make, 10m in length. The hull is covered with unidentified symbols. Through a plate glass window, two beings are visible, apparently long deceased and dessicated, resembling crocodilian humanoids.
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Approximately 1,000 metric tons of hydrogen and helium, compressed under gravitation into a superfluid state.
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Ninety capsules, each containing a single humanoid occupant, each colocating independently from the others. The occupants are apparently dead and dessicated.
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Foundation Probe OU11-3 and Agent Rick Roberts, deceased. (See Addendum 2460-B)
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Addendum 2460-A: On 2/15/2013, a stray orbiting steel bolt attached to a retaining plate from the [REDACTED] disaster was seen to be captured by the gravity well and collide with SCP-2460. It was observed that the collision caused no impact site and the bolt passed through the matter without hindrance. However, post collision the bolt and plate no longer registered any electromagnetic field deformation. Further observation demonstrated that the bolt remains attached to the plate, confirming that the colocation effect of items caught within the anomaly does not extend to items that are exposed within milliseconds to it.
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This observation further suggests that all objects seen in SCP-2460 were, at one time, normal fermionic matter, transformed by the anomaly into the presently seen amalgamation. It is hypothesized that the anomaly annihilates the quantum spin of the subatomic particles, transforming the matter from fermionic to bosonic and allowing it to colocate. Containment procedures updated to prevent further matter collisions with SCP-2460. Further testing is suggested.
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Addendum 2460-B: On 2/5/2014, SCP-2460 was noted to pass within 70 km of Foundation Orbital Unit-11, and a sortie was authorized to intercept the anomaly for quantum measurements. Agent Rick Roberts was sent in Probe OU11-3 to examine the anomaly at close range for testing of the quantum signature of the matter within the object. Radio contact with Probe OU11-3 ceased when the probe came within 5 km of the central mass. Approximately 0.5 seconds before loss of contact, apparent density of the low Earth orbit medium was seen to increase from 1.0 x 10-11 kg/m3 to 7.3 x 10-9 kg/m3.
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All remaining data from the experiment comes from the cameras aboard Orbital Unit-11. Agent Roberts quickly noted the lack of radio contact, and engaged thrusters to maneuver away from SCP-2460. The fuel was seen to ignite and pass ineffectually through the hull and cabin of Probe OU11-3. Unable to adjust position or trajectory, Probe OU11-3 was gravitationally captured by SCP-2460 and fell into the central mass.
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15,534 kg added to the mass of SCP-2460. Trajectory and Schwarzschild radius recalculated. Containment procedures updated to include a mandatory distance of 50 km.
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Addendum 2460-C: Transcript of lecture regarding SCP-2460 on 4/3/2015
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Presenter:Dr. CordeliaArgent, Principal Researcher, Astronomical Phenomena Division
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Foreword: Dr. C. Argent presents the results of her observations and experiments with SCP-2460.
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<Begin Log>
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Dr. C. Argent: Good evening and welcome. I want to thank everyone for coming this evening. Tonight, I am going to explain what, exactly, SCP-2460 is, and the risk it represents for the Earth.
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I could explain the fermion-to-boson conversion called quantum spin annihilation, explain how this interaction is possible under a version of supersymmetry, the transformation of quarks to squarks and so on. But I'm sure that that would go over most of your heads. You could learn it all, but you're here to understand what this is and what it means. I'll spare you the physics.
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I'm sure you've heard stories of walking through walls. Ghosts, radio waves, certain anomalies, et cetera. Phasing is a popular term for it. In essence, SCP-2460 is a collection of objects - asteroids, comets, nebula material, stellar mass, and more - all phasing through each other. It's important to recognize that this phasing is the sole reason all these objects exist in the same place at the same time. This is not a spatiotemporal distortion, at least, not anything more than is fully and non-anomalously explainable via its gravity alone.
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However, what is less explainable is the lack of electromagnetic interaction within SCP-2460. Firstly, this means that there is no radio communication possible with anything within the anomaly. Radio waves pass through it as if it wasn't there. This is also what leads to the phasing effect we see. You know how we are made of atoms, and atoms consist of a nucleus surrounded by an electron cloud? These electron clouds are negatively charged and push each other away, and that's why we can't walk through walls. But within SCP-2460, the electron fields between objects introduced at separate times don't interact, don't push against each other, and as a result, don't stop objects from passing through one another.
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But wait, you're probably asking, isn't the photon the gauge boson for the electromagnetic interaction? Why do we see anything? Okay, you're likely not asking that, but I did, first thing. The truth is, we don't see most of SCP-2460. Experiment 2460-B proved that. We saw the medium density around Probe OU11-3 increase nearly a thousandfold before losing contact. There is a cloud of massive particles that have nearly no interaction with normal matter extending as far as 5 km from the central mass. There are only two ways these particles interact: gravitationally, and rendering normal matter that comes in contact with it out of phase. These particles are invisible and otherwise undetectable. All remaining mass was added subsequently, acting as an anchor for the particles. That's why we can see the massive objects in the center.
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What's the risk from this? Well, it is exceptionally dense, and thus perturbations from its present orbit will preferentially cause the orbit to decay, resulting in SCP-2460 falling to the Earth. Now, since it remains "phased out," collision with the Earth won't cause any impact crater. However, the quantum spin annihilation will affect all matter the anomaly passes through, resulting in invisible holes of phased out ground. SCP-2460 will pass unhindered through the center of the Earth, transforming matter the entire way, leaving a giant hole through the center of the Earth that the liquid mantle and core will gush into, the crust and surface eventually falling, unsupported, into the hole. But it won't end there. The momentum in SCP-2460 will propel it all the way back out of the center of the earth, back to the surface, where it will gravitationally oscillate back and forth, back and forth, rendering more and more of the Earth out of phase with itself like Swiss cheese until the entire planet collapses into a central superdense pile of untouchable rubble, constituting a QK-Class Quantum Degeneracy End-Of-The-World scenario.
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So I'm sure you agree that we want this thing as far away from us as possible. The problem is, we can't touch it. We can't use thrusters to push it away. There's nothing to push against. We can't deflect it with magnetic fields. There's no electromagnetic interaction. We can only use gravity to pull it away. That means that we will need to tow an asteroid of similar mass into Low Earth Orbit to carefully slingshot the anomaly away from us, then destroy the asteroid somehow. An asteroid approximately 22 km in diameter should contain enough mass to eject the anomaly. Recommendations have been submitted to O5 Command.
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But I'm sure you actually are all asking, what is this, and why did it end up here, orbiting around the Earth? Well, it is an amalgamation of weakly interacting massive particles, invisible to electromagnetic radiation, emitting no radiation of its own, and possessing only gravity.
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In short, ladies and gentlemen, SCP-2460 is dark matter.
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And when you consider that fully 85% of the mass in the universe is dark matter, we should not ask why we are so unlucky to have a chunk of it orbiting around the Earth. We should ask why we are so lucky that we haven't hit any of this stuff yet.
Special Containment Procedures: Due to its fixed location, Containment Area-57 is to be established to contain SCP-2617 on-site. The perimeter around SCP-2617 is to be fenced in via chain link fence and mounted with eight surveillance cameras. Activation of SCP-2617 is prohibited. Each unique instance of SCP-2617-B is to be kept in Storage Unit 5 at Area-57.
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Description: SCP-2617 is a 100 m tall radio tower situated in Sverdlovsk Oblast, Russia, and is controlled by a built-in electro-mechanical computer. The computer possesses a numeric dial, intended for inputting geographic coordinates. The central processing unit for SCP-2617 is a bio-mechanical analytical engine constructed from the brain tissue of Eugene Ivanoff, a Russian exile based in Bydgoszcz, Poland who disappeared in 1928.
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When SCP-2617 is switched on, geographic coordinates may be inputted. If valid coordinates1 are inputted, an encrypted radio transmission is sent out and SCP-2617-(A-C) will begin manifestation in the designated site.
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SCP-2617-A refers to a collection of humanoid statues, which are constructed out of ice. All instances of SCP-2617-A are featureless, and are physically identical to one another. About 100 such instances are manifested for every minute SCP-2617 remains activated. Once manifested, they will proceed to attack all belligerents2 in the vicinity. When no belligerent is present in the vicinity, SCP-2617-A instances typically move towards the location of SCP-2617.
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SCP-2617-A instances are capable of autonomous movement, travelling at an average velocity of 1.2 km/h. They typically display high levels of coordination with one another, despite having no identifiable means of communication. They also have no difficulty in orientation, despite lacking sensory organs such as eyes and ears.
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SCP-2617-B refers to an assortment of weapons, operated by SCP-2617-A instances. They are similarly constructed out of ice, and are 1:1 scale replicas of weapons fielded by contemporary Soviet and Russian militaries. All instances of SCP-2617-A are armed with at least one instance of SCP-2617-B when manifested. The functionality of SCP-2617-B instances is comparable to respective non-anomalous counterparts, despite unknown means to propel ammunition. Below is an abridged list of SCP-2617-B instances.
Resembles a T-60 scout tank; it is operated by 2 instances of SCP-2617-A, acting as gunner and driver.
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First appeared in 1941; Eastern Front
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SCP-2617-B25
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Resembles a MP 40 submachine gun.
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First appeared in 1942; Eastern Front. MP 40 are among captured German military equipment used by the Soviet military on the Eastern Front.
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SCP-2617-B32
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Resembles a Cossack Shashka.
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Recovered from Leningrad, USSR3 in 1985; originally classified as AI-████, it was later reclassified due to similarities with other instances of SCP-2617-B.
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SCP-2617-B34
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Resembles a Berdan rifle.
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Recovered from Moscow, USSR in 1987; originally classified as AI-████, it was later reclassified due to similarities with other instances of SCP-2617-B.
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SCP-2617-B36
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Resembles a T-55 main battle tank; unlike other SCP-2617-B instances that resemble armoured vehicles, SCP-2617-B36 is capable of autonomous motion and requires no SCP-2617-A instance to operate. Notably, SCP-2617-B36 avoids direct attacks on unarmed persons.
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First appeared in 1993; see Test 2617-1. Due to its autonomous motion, SCP-2617-B36 was dismantled and transported outside of Russian borders to be sublimated via its own effect.
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SCP-2617-B46
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Resembles a powered exoskeleton of unknown origin, with design elements derivative of insects. Corresponds to no known weapons currently fielded by Russian Armed Forces.
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First appeared in ████; see Experiment Log T-98816-OC108/682. Due to the events of termination log, information on instance is limited.
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SCP-2617-B51
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Resembles a Fractional Orbital Bombardment Weapon. Partially constructed. Information regarding its interior unknown.
SCP-2617-C is a nimbus cloud formed over the designated site, precipitating ice crystals. The precipitation of ice crystals is utilised by SCP-2617-A and SCP-2617-B for regeneration, using them to repair broken portions. These ice crystals are also used as 'ammunition' for SCP-2617-B instances that possess a gun component.
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SCP-2617-A and SCP-2617-B instances that are outside SCP-2617-C are unable to regenerate, although they retain their solid phase at room temperature. When outside the borders of the Russian Federation, they will undergo sublimation.4 Incineration is also capable of terminating instances of SCP-2617-A and SCP-2617-B.
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The Foundation was first made aware of SCP-2617 after its deployment by the USSR during the winter of 1941. Despite official denial by the Soviet leadership, evidence from the Wehrmacht and Foundation intelligence have verified the existence of SCP-2617. Below is a translated transcript from the Wehrmacht, mentioning instances of SCP-2617-A in the Eastern Front.
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The enemy continues to pursue us, as though they do not need sleep. Their bodies are not of flesh, but of ice. Our bullets could not stop them. They do not negotiate. They only slaughter.
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Between 1941 to 1943, there have been about ██ reported manifestations of SCP-2617-(A-C) within the USSR. As SCP-2617 was then under GRU-P control, containment was initially not possible. That said, intelligence was able to pinpoint the GRU-P facility wherein SCP-2617 is held.
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On ██/██/1992, a recovery team was dispatched to the GRU-P facility and SCP-2617 was successfully secured without incident. The facility was found to have been abandoned.
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Addendum 2617-1: Despite its discovery in 1941, historic accounts have suggested that SCP-2617 (or entities similar to SCP-2617-A) had been active since the 18th century. Below are translated excerpts from Byliny of the Tsars, a book authored by members of the Tsar's Seers.5
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And Tsar Peter commanded the Grigori to strike against the Caroleans. And the Grigori obeyed, enveloping the land and seas in ice. A mighty host of warriors was unleashed upon the Caroleans, each of them a warrior carved in ice.
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Upon Tsar Alexander's command, the Grigori obeyed and a mighty host of warriors descended upon the land. Under the veil of winter, the host of carved soldiers cast themselves upon the Great Army of many nations. And like the Caroleans before then, ice and death await them.
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Addendum 2617-2: Due to a suspected connection between SCP-2617 and the "Grigori" entity, Father Mikhail6 was called in for the following interview.
Foreword: Fr. Mikhail was shown Addendum 2617-1. The following interview is originally conducted in Russian.
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<Begin Log>
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Agent Braginsky: Please explain the Seers' involvement with the Grigori entity described in these excerpts.
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Fr. Mikhail: To be brief, we were the ones who had found it and sealed it.
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Agent Braginsky: Sealed it?
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Fr. Mikhail: To be precise, it's a pact, but we have to seal it. A being of such power would only cause unnecessary destruction in its true form, so its essence was dispersed into fragments in the sky. Through a ritual, these fragments would coalesce at our call and reform as an army of soldiers. Not as strong as it could be, but easier to control.
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Agent Braginsky: And the entity is a willing participant?
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Fr. Mikhail: Of course. It wishes to regain the favour of God, and we wish for protection. It's a mutual agreement.
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Agent Braginsky: Based on the excerpts, the entity was weaponised by your organisation. Could you elaborate on them?
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Fr. Mikhail: Please do not be mistaken, agent. Our pact with the Grigori is very specific. It is meant only to defend Russia against foreign invaders, nothing else.
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Agent Braginsky: Given its use in Russia's defence, who else knew about the entity's existence or its applications?
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Fr. Mikhail: Like all that is written in the Chronicles, they are exclusive to our sect alone… until we've allowed your group to view its contents, of course.
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Agent Braginsky: Father, would you please take a look at these?
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[Agent Braginsky hands Fr. Mikhail a collection of photographs of SCP-2617-A recovered from field agents.]
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Agent Braginsky: These were intercepted from the Wehrmacht in the Eastern Front. We currently believe that the Grigori entity is the cause of these ambushes.
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Fr. Mikhail: It certainly matches the illustrations and the context is appropriate, but unlikely. The Bolsheviks shouldn't be able to.
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Agent Braginsky: Why not?
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Fr. Mikhail: Even if they knew that the Grigori exists and what it could do, they could not summon it. This ritual requires a Tsar, a Tsar they had murdered.
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Agent Braginsky: Does the late Tsar have any knowledge pertaining to this ritual or anomaly?
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Fr. Mikhail: No, the Tsar is only the conduit for the ritual. He is a symbol of God's authority on Earth, and symbolism is everything to a ritual. With the Grigori disconnected from God and His Word, the Tsar as God's proxy is the best alternative. That's why a Tsar must always reign and rule.
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<End Log>
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Addendum 2617-3: The following message is decoded from transmissions emitted from SCP-2617.
I AM ALEXEI, BY GRACE OF GOD, EMPEROR AND AUTOCRAT OF ALL RUSSIA. SOMEONE HELP ME. ITS SO DARK.
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Addendum 2617-4: According to intelligence reports, on ██/██/1943, about █,███ instances of SCP-2617-A are reported to be converging towards the location of SCP-2617. A Red Army battalion has intercepted them near the village of ███████, USSR, and successfully terminated all known instances via incendiary weapons. Moscow blamed the resultant damage on a German-led assault on the village.
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Since ██/██/1943, manifestations of SCP-2617-(A-C) have significantly decreased.
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Addendum 2617-9: The following message is decoded from transmissions emitted from SCP-2617 on January 7th, 1974.
Special Containment Procedures: A perimeter is to be established in the valley surrounding the Foundation-acquired residence at the foot of Madone di Càmedo, which functions as a rendezvous point for Foundation personnel and SCP-2822.
+
Four security officers and five research staff members are to be stationed at the Madone di Càmedo home. The perimeter is to be patrolled by security personnel three times each day, with rotating shifts. Should a non-authorized individual attempt to enter the perimeter, they are to be turned away with the explanation that the land is privately owned and undergoing environmental restoration.
+
Level-2 security clearance is required for direct interaction with SCP-2822. If an instance of SCP-2822-B is isolated from the population of SCP-2822-A, personnel are to guide an SCP-2822-A individual to accompany them in retrieval of the 2822-B instance.
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Grass and other vegetation within the perimeter is to be routinely trimmed to ensure SCP-2822 visibility. SCP-2822-B are to be washed monthly, and a count of individuals is to be performed daily to identify any new additions to the population.
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Description: SCP-2822 is the collective designation for two populations of rock-based anomalous entities, SCP-2822-A and SCP-2822-B.
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SCP-2822-A are humanoid entities comprised of tightly-packed crushed stone calcite gravel, standing approximately 30 cm in height. The chemical makeup of SCP-2822-A is consistent with that of sedimentary rock samples taken from the initial discovery site. SCP-2822-A individuals lack digits and facial features, and do not appear to be capable of verbal communication. SCP-2822-A are able to move autonomously using bipedal locomotion, but tend to remain stationary for long periods of time. SCP-2822 instances do not appear to need any form of sustenance.
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SCP-2822-B are mineral solids of various shapes and sizes (relative to SCP-2822-A dimensions) which universally demonstrate independent locomotion, usually through rolling.1 When in the presence of other SCP-2822-B instances, SCP-2822-B engage in social behaviors (e.g., herding, grazing on mosses and lichens) common to domesticated animal livestock. Currently, 36 specimens of SCP-2822-B have been identified and tagged. Of note, thirteen SCP-2822-B were created under Foundation surveillance.
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Field observations have indicated that instances of SCP-2822-B are most commonly generated when an SCP-2822-A individual makes physical contact with a mineral solid for an extended period of time, usually by holding a stone in its hands. SCP-2822-A exhibit discerning behaviors when selecting new material for SCP-2822-B instances, and tend to favor roughly-spherical stones 10-20 cm in diameter, and ranging in weight from 2 to 4 kg. Additionally, any mineral solids contaminated with artificial materials, including plastics, will be ignored by SCP-2822-A.
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Currently, the Foundation has recorded the following notable attributes of SCP-2822-B individuals:
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Preference for following and remaining within 10 meters of SCP-2822-A.
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Ability to distinguish between individual SCP-2822-A entities and potentially imprinting of specific SCP-2822-A entities as caretakers.
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Defensive behaviors, including rolling at increased speeds to disrupt nesting birds.
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Growing a coat of progressive layers of moss and lichen. Chemical analysis of moss samples taken from SCP-2822-B indicates no anomalous substances present.
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Maturation, as evidenced by incremental size increases.
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Development of a small hollow cavity, similar to those of geodes, once the individual has exceeded 50 cm in diameter.
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Addendum 2822-1: SCP-2822 initially came to Foundation attention following reports of unusual landslides in the Madone di Càmedo mountain in Switzerland.
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Amina Favre, an elderly citizen of Cevio inhabiting a small residence at the foot of the mountain, was noted to have traveled on foot regularly to Madone di Càmedo. Foundation inspection revealed that she did so in order to interact with SCP-2822. When questioned, Favre claimed she had been visiting the mountain for 13 years, and had become familiar with SCP-2822 to the point of giving both SCP-2822-A and SCP-2822-B instances names and bathing SCP-2822-B instances regularly.
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Favre was granted Foundation protection and allowed to continue visits to SCP-2822. She passed away six months following her contact with Foundation agents, at the age of 87. As per her wishes, Foundation personnel interred Favre at Madone di Càmedo in the presence of SCP-2822-A.
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Upon the first direct contact with Foundation individuals, SCP-2822-B ignored the personnel, while SCP-2822-A instances maintained a moderate distance when approached. Subsequent visits involving Foundation staff carrying buckets of soapy water were met with curiosity, and eventual enthusiasm from SCP-2822-A individuals, which proceeded to make simple gestures to SCP-2822-B instances indicating a preference for what order they should be cleaned in.
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At the time of containment establishment, there were three recorded instances of SCP-2822-A and 23 recorded instances of SCP-2822-B.
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Addendum 2822-2: On ██/██/████, a new instance of SCP-2822-A was noticed among the population of SCP-2822. The new instance was accompanied by a pair of SCP-2822-B individuals, possessing an unusual composition of marble and limestone. The current SCP-2822-A population quickly accepted the new instance into the group following a brief examination of the new 2822-B.
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The range of stone materials SCP-2822-A are familiar with is unknown. Of note, SCP-2822-A have been known to exhibit some familiarity with mother-of-pearl, as per testimony related to Foundation personnel by Amina Favre describing how SCP-2822 reacted to various trinkets she brought to them.
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Addendum 2822-3: As of approximately seven months following Amina Favre's passing, SCP-2822-A have been noted to visit Favre's grave to leave swathes of moss taken from SCP-2822-B over the headstone.
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On ██/██/████, the entire SCP-2822 population visited Favre's grave, led by an SCP-2822-A individual holding a new instance of SCP-2822-B believed to have been generated from an existing 2822-B individual. The new instance possessed a vivid blue coloration, believed to be due to the metamorphic rock composition containing lapis lazuli. As of that time, only two SCP-2822-B individuals were known to possess metamorphic rock compositions.
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Subsequent imaging of the SCP-2822-B population found that three "mature" 2822-B individuals were carrying small stones within their hollow cavity.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2919 is to be contained within Provisional Site-31. SCP-2919-1 instances are to be monitored at all times for changes in behavior. Interaction with SCP-2919-1 instances must be approved by personnel with Level 3-2919 clearance. Minkowski Spacetime Monitors are to be set up around SCP-2919 and Provisional Site-31, and will monitor any gravitational distortions within an area of 1 kilometer. These are to be routinely checked and repaired. If a major spacial distortion occurs, personnel at Provisional Site-31 are to follow Protocol Eureka-4 (detailed in Document 2919-E4). Non-Foundation personnel who discover SCP-2919 or Provisional Site-31 are to be administered Class-A Amnestics.
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Description: SCP-2919 is a large abandoned factory located in Norrbotten County, Sweden. SCP-2919 is not accessible by road or footpath. It is believed that SCP-2919 was constructed at some point during the 1960s-1980s, based on the architectural style and apparent age of the building. A black and white mural has been painted on the Eastern wall, to the right of what is presumed to be the facility's main entrance. The mural depicts an authoritarian figure in its center. Men and women believed to represent scientists and engineers are on the left side, and instances of SCP-2919-1 are on the right. All of them are saluting. The background resembles the flag of the Kalmar Union1. On a wall opposite to the mural there is red text reading, "SUOJAA KANSAMME2." The function SCP-2919 served when it was in use is unknown.
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SCP-2919-1 instances are Caucasian males of varying height and apparent biological age. Each instance wears a white metal helmet that extends to cover the shoulders and upper chest. A cylinder approximately 1 meter in length with a rounded end protrudes from the middle of the front of the helmet. On the left side of the cylinder is a rectangular box with a small, square hole on the front of it. On the upper half of the helmet's back is a similar cylinder that is roughly 0.5 meters long. Each instance is clad in a long-sleeved shirt, trousers, and a belt. SCP-2919-1 instances do not have difficulty with movement, despite the shape of the helmet. SCP-2919-1 instances will stand in pairs at each entrance to SCP-2919, and prohibit entry. Instances will rotate in six hour shifts, and are relieved by SCP-2919-1 from within the facility. SCP-2919-1 instances are conversant in Swedish, Finnish, Danish, Norwegian, Russian, and English.
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SCP-2919-1 instances will actively prevent human subjects from entering SCP-2919, starting with verbal warnings. Non-compliance will result in escalating use of force, culminating in the use of what appears to be the generation of localized gravitational distortions to remove individuals from the premises of SCP-2919. The distortions can be generated within a radius of 4 meters around the instance. SCP-2919-1 instances will also use said gravitational distortions as a form of self defense, via physically repelling attackers and deflecting or neutralizing projectiles fired in its direction.
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Current observations have shown them not to be hostile without provocation. So far only three subjects have been killed by SCP-2919-1 instances, due to gravitational distortions appearing on or in their body after attempted attacks by the subjects. Further details are in Document 2919-D7. This is believed to be caused by attempts by the SCP-2919-1 instances to relocate the subjects, and was unintentional. These abilities have prevented the capture and study of SCP-2919-1 instances. This has also prevented any exploration of SCP-2919.
Interviewed: An SCP-2919-1 instance, which has been named SCP-2919-1H for the purposes of the interview.
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Interviewer: Dr. Jared Vadim, who imitated a journalist during the interview.
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<Begin Log>
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[Dr. Vadim enters SCP-2919]
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SCP-2919-1H: Stop right there, sir.
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Dr. Vadim: What is it?
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SCP-2919-1H: Please identify yourself.
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Dr. Vadim: I'm Emanuel Enok, a journalist from The Newspapers' Telegram Bureau3.
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SCP-2919-1H: State your reasons for visiting.
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Dr. Vadim: I'm here to write a news report on this building and the work you guys do here.
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SCP-2919-1H: May I see your identification?
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[Dr. Vadim takes out a Swedish press card and shows it to SCP-2919-1H.]
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SCP-2919-1H: You have invalid credentials. I cannot let you in.
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Dr. Vadim: Well, can I ask you some questions about this place?
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SCP-2919-1H: You are going to have to leave, sir.
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Dr. Vadim: What work do you do at this factory?
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SCP-2919-1H: Be assured that our work will greatly benefit our nation. Please leave now.
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Dr. Vadim: Why is this so important that the public can't know about it?
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SCP-2919-1H: Leave- [An electric hum begins emanating from SCP-2919-1H. Distorted audio could be heard during the pauses in speech] to volunteer- show your credentials- will protect- feels weird- against enemy- our work will greatly- Project Dažbog- did not see a sky- our nation. Please leave now.
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[The electric hum ceases]
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Dr. Vadim: What's Project Dažbog?
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SCP-2919-1H: There is no Project Dažbog. Leave now.
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[Dr. Vadim was removed from SCP-2919 via gravitational distortions. Attempts to go back to SCP-2919-1H and SCP-2919 were prevented in the same manner. SCP-2919-1H did not respond to further questioning.]
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<End Log>
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Addendum-2: On █/██/████ at 10:54 am, an SCP-2919-1 instance (named SCP-2919-1V for the autopsy log) began to spasm and subsequently collapsed. Three minutes later, another SCP-2919-1 instance emerged from SCP-2919 and took its place at its post, ignoring the collapsed instance. SCP-2919-1V was able to be retrieved with no complications arising. After confirmation that the instance was dead, an autopsy was performed on the corpse.
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The helmet is composed of stainless steel, painted in white. The helmet contained differentiated biological tissue and organs connected to multiple electronic components, grafted to a series of metal struts. In the center of the helmet is a brain, which many of the electronic components are connected to. It is currently unknown what purpose the organs served. It is theorized that they were able to generate an alternating current of a constant voltage to power the electronic components, and process glucose and other nutrients for the body via ██████. The helmet is connected to the rest of the body's skeletal system, and cannot be removed without causing a collapse of the spine and chest. The letters "KU-21" have been tattooed above the navel. The rest of the body and its attire showed no abnormalities.
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During the autopsy the instance was surrounded by a gravitational lensing effect4, and subsequently vanished along with the autopsy table and various instruments. Sensors picked up a large spatial and gravitational distortion in the area when this occurred, which pulled the instruments towards SCP-2919-1V's body. A hole was reported appearing in the lens, which led to a dark, gray area. The body and the equipment have not been found.
Foreword: Experimentation with interactions between SCP-2919-1 instances and machinery have determined that small robotics and machinery are largely ignored. Horus Camera Drone H765 (1 cm x 1 cm x 1 cm) was attached to an SCP-2919-1 instance (named SCP-2919-1U) on the front of its helmet. After 2 hours at 6:00 PM, SCP-2919-1U left its post and entered the building. The following is a transcript of what H765 recorded inside SCP-2919 before the signal was lost. Further explorations are planned.
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<Begin Log>
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SCP-2919-1U walks towards a series of doors. These doors open on their own, presumably caused by SCP-2919-1U's gravitational distortions. It enters through them and begins walking down a long hallway. The hallway has various exits along the walls, presumably leading to other segments of SCP-2919. The walls are less worn than the outside of SCP-2919. Despite the apparent age of SCP-2919, lights inside the building are still operational, suggesting there is a running source of electricity. The end of the hallway splits off into two corridors, with a door in the middle. Next to the door is a bulletin board, with a map and other documents on it (further details are in Addendum-4).
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The door leads to a stairwell, which appears to have been designed to accommodate the helmet shape of SCP-2919-1 instances. SCP-2919-1U descends down this stairwell for several minutes. The stairwell leads to a catwalk above a large room, with various other catwalks near the upper area of it. On the catwalk floor is a wrinkled poster. The poster has a gray silhouette of a person wearing black glasses, on top of an orange background. An orange gear symbol is on each lens of the glasses. A caption underneath says, "If you see someone wearing glasses, ask them to remove them! They might be CONSTRUCTED!5" SCP-2919-1U walks down the catwalk for two minutes before reaching a set of stairs at the end of it.
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As SCP-2919-1U walks down the stairs at the end of the catwalk, H765 is able to see more of the room. This area has various deactivated conveyor belts and machinery that appear to have been assembling SCP-2919-1 helmets. Metal vats are attached to the walls, some of which have fallen off and spilled blood and organs on the floor. These organs resemble the ones found in SCP-2919-1V's helmet. Several SCP-2919-1 instances are patrolling this area. Much of the machinery is either in a state of disrepair or broken entirely. On the floor are two documents (detailed further in Addendum-4) and the back of a human body protruding from the floor, as if submerged. On the wall is a propaganda poster, depicting a soldier planting the Kalmar Union flag into a cracked outline resembling the United States of America. The outline has the Great Seal of the United States in the center. The caption says "We beat the States, and we can beat the communists too!" SCP-2919-1U goes through a set of metal doors into another room similar to the previous one. At this point connection with H765 is lost for one minute.
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Upon connection with H765 being restored, SCP-2919-1U enters an elevator, and turns around to face the doors. The elevator's walls and doors are made of glass, allowing a view of a tall metal chamber. Inside the chamber is an object resembling an enlarged version of an SCP-2919-1 helmet, with various electronics and machinery connected to it. At the top of the chamber is a broken window, which leads into an unknown area. The elevator descends below the chamber, and only shows concrete. Connection to H765 begins to decrease.
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The doors open to reveal a large gray cylindrical room. In the center of it is a metal ring that is connected to the floor and ceiling with rods. A machine is in the center of the ring, with wires and tubes connecting to the inside of the ring. Along the sides of the ring are 20 naked human bodies, all of which are headless and have tubes extended from their necks to the ceiling. Some of the bodies are in a state of decay, while others appear healthy. One of the bodies has been segmented diagonally from its right shoulder to the left side of its hip, while another one appears to have been exploded from the inside. Decayed organs, dried blood stains, and broken glass are visible on the floor. At random intervals one of the bodies spasms (including the decayed and heavily damaged ones). The letters "KU2-S" can be seen on the chest of each body. Various organs been assembled into the words (in Finnish) "DID I SAVE YOU?" on the ground. On the wall the words (also in Finnish) "PLEASE TALK TO ME" can be seen, having been written in blood. As SCP-2919-1U approaches the center of the room H765's signal is lost.
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Addendum-4: The following are documents seen by Horus Camera Drone H765 in SCP-2919. All text has been translated from Finnish to English. Any text written in italics were written in pencil on the documents. Images of each document can be seen in Document SCP-2919-E1R.
This has been a week of great progress for Project Dažbog. Our engineers have put the finishing touches on the construction systems, which have produced 11 new Karewit Units in a single day. The organ construction cells are healthy, though at times the organ production has gotten out of control. Four days ago one of our growth vats broke apart after rapid organ growth pushed too hard against the vat's walls. Even during the cleanup operation the cells were still attempting to construct more organs. However, this is believed to be a freak incident, and is unlikely to happen again. However, we have added a system to our vats that will get rid of unneeded organs if too many grow.
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Karewit-U2 continues to grow stronger. In one experiment KU2 was able to hold a 3 m x 4 m x 3.5 m rock in the air for approximately 2 minutes outside Facility 63, better than it has ever done so far. Other tests have shown that KU2 can now manipulate gravity anywhere within Facility 63. If we are able to keep KU2 in this state for a long period of time, the next year might see militarization of KU2. However, its personality is still that of a child. It is unknown why this is, considering the brain size and augments. Some believe that KU2 needs time to mentally develop, due to there being more space in its brain to use than a normal human. At some point next week we will look into this further. Currently this seems to have no negative side effects.
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The biggest advancement we've made so far happened during testing of a Karewit Unit. While testing how many objects can be manipulated at once, the unit vanished and reappeared several meters away. This means we can create artificial wormholes with the units, though we don't know how this works. This discovery has been made today, so little testing has been performed, but research will be continued on this next week.
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Lastly, the Democratic Council has agreed on giving us more money for our research. With the increasingly difficult war against Mekhantos, they want us to finalize our Karewit Units soon. However, this will not override any planned projects and experiments for next week, as the Karewit Units are close to being finished. Hopefully next week brings further progress.
NOTE: A majority of this document is missing, due to it being obstructed by the first document when seen. Below is the text that could be seen.
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vanished after the transport, with the cord sliced in half. Footage from the Unit only showed static and a blue sky. One researcher who went through with a Unit, Dr. Cai Egil, claims he saw another world for a brief second, though he can't give any specific details about it. Based on other footage taken by units, it is theorized that the wormhole passes through another dimension, then reenters into ours. While this opens up many possibilities, wormhole transportation is very dangerous. One Unit ended up inside a wall after transporting itself, with parts of its body filled with concrete. The only reason we knew where it went was when we saw its hand sticking out of a wall a few hours later, twitching. It is unknown where the rest of the concrete was displaced to. I hope that our missing scientists haven't suffered the same fate.
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Due to these dangers related to wormholes, there is worry that KU2 will be able to do the same thing, but on a larger scale. After having studied on how the wormhole creation is performed, our engineers have developed an inhibitor that prevents this from happening. We have also had to call off any further testing on the wormholes, due to the escalated tensions on the border and government worries. Karewit Units are currently being produced at the fastest rate possible right now. Hopefully we will live to see further developments next week.
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Dr. Eino Jere - Lead Project Dažbog Researcher The Soviets have broken the treaty, and have crossed the Finnish-Soviet border while we were distracted. With our proximity to the fighting, I worry we will be attacked soon. I don't know how long the guards will hold them off for, but whatever happens we can't let them get in. They can't be allowed to learn.
This is a written description of a map seen on the bulletin board in SCP-2919.
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The map is titled "Map of the Modern World - 1979." Various countries are depicted in the colors blue, red, and gray. A legend on the map says "Blue: Capitalist and Allied Nations, Red: Communist Territory, Gray: Neutral, Yellow: Old Government Territory, Bronze: Mekhantos, Black: Lost"
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The countries present on the map are different than maps made during 1979. One of these differences is North America being composed of ten countries, ranging in size. Three of the western countries are colored in red, with a majority of the central and northern ones in gray. The largest country is colored blue and goes along most of the east coast. Cuba and most of Central America are blue. The countries in South America are a mix of blue, red, and gray, with a resemblance to Cold War era South America. The only major difference is that Chile is smaller in size, and that the area where Brazil would be is two countries, one blue and the other red.
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Africa and the Middle East remain fairly unchanged, with slightly different borders. On the west coast of Africa is a small yellow country, which is the only country colored in yellow. In Europe, Italy isn't a single country, and is made up of various smaller ones. Portugal and Spain are both one country. Sweden, Finland, Norway, and presumably Norway's overseas territories are also one nation. What is presumed to be the Soviet Union extends up to its 1945 borders. Asia (including Japan) is predominantly red, though what is believed to be China is blue and smaller in size. All the Pacific island nations are in gray. In the South Atlantic Ocean is a bronze circle roughly the size of Brazil. Four smaller bronze circles are in the Pacific Ocean. Greenland is the only area of the map that is colored black.
NOTE: These documents are pieces of paper seen on the bulletin board in SCP-2919. They appear to be newspaper clippings.
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New Kalmaris Ambassador Traveling to the Old Government Remnants
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Ever since the Kalmar Union was toppled during World War I and New Kalmaris was founded, one territory continued to pledge allegiance to the old government. The African country of New Oslo has refused to rejoin New Kalmaris, and has shown a strong distaste towards our government. However, after 61 years of separation they might finally join. Their location has made them suffer greatly from the war against Mekhantos, and recent attack from neighboring countries are straining their defense. An ambassador from New Kalmaris is traveling to New Oslo, to arrange for negotiations. It is unknown what these negotiations entail, but hopefully it means we can get them to rejoin in exchange for support from our nation. The negotiations will take place in two days.
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A Mysterious Machine Rises From the Ocean
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On August 5th, a freighter heading from Argentina to Morocco made a shocking discovery. While going through large waves the crew saw a large bulge appear in the ocean. One crew member said, "We noticed our ship begin to rise on top of what we thought was a large wave. However, it just kept getting large and larger until it looked like a massive wall. Then it burst." Out of the water was massive, bronze complex of machinery. They said it looked like a wall made of various rotating gears, with a loud grinding noise coming from inside. The ship's captain, Captain Hector Yenien said, "It was the most haunting sight I've ever seen in my life. It was as if I could feel something deep within that mass of cogs and gears, something horrid. We couldn't go any further with that thing blocking our path, so we turned around. I'm glad I did." When the ship returned to port at Mar del Plata, they were the first of many sailors who began to spread tales of the machine. Yesterday on August 9th the Argentinian military launched an investigation and confirmed that these tales are true. An investigation of the so called "Gear Island" is underway.
NOTE: This document consists of various notes seen on the bulletin board in SCP-2919. Each note is separated by a gap.
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A war has started in North America. Again. The countries are the the Republic of Quebec, the New American States, the Midwestern Republic, and Great Lakes Federation.
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We might've beaten them a bit too hard during WWII.
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That's what they get for messing with Europe!
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To whoever put up a note saying "Death to the communists," we are allies with them now. If we are going to beat the Constructed, we can't be saying stuff like that!
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Also, can someone take down that poster about beating the communists? For some reason it is still up.
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We can't trust them. Don't forget about what happened with their "alliance" with Japan.
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Do we really need to keep those temples? We figured out how the freaks' organs work, so why keep it? It seems too dangerous!
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Remember guys, not all Constructed are evil! Some don't want to hurt us.
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If you are excited for wormhole transportation, write "Y" on this note! Y Y Y YY Y Y N Y Y Y N N Y
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Can we pay some attention to the massacres in Argentina caused by the Constructed? What happened in Ireland was horrible, but this is still important!
Knowledge of SCP-2921 is considered potentially hazardous and thus all documentation of the anomaly has been classified as restricted to non-essential personnel.
ACCESS TO THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT IS LIMITED TO ESSENTIAL PERSONNEL ONLY
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FAILURE TO ABIDE BY THIS PROTOCOL WILL RESULT IN TERMINATION.
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+If you have received this document in error, destroy it and report to your Site Director.
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Trail containing SCP-2921. Photograph taken upon initial discovery.
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ITEM #: SCP-2921
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OBJECT CLASS:EUCLIDKETER
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SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: Knowledge of SCP-2921 is considered potentially hazardous and thus all documentation of the anomaly has been classified as restricted to non-essential personnel. Study of SCP-2921 is limited to members of the Pilcrow-Minkowski Center's High-Risk Anomalies Division.
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It is presumed that any and all actions taken that may affect SCP-2921 will affect SCP-2921 in some way, thus attentive, non-interactive study of the anomaly is the only safe way to gain further knowledge of its properties. Because of this, no physical containment measures are to be implemented.
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Experimentation and interaction with SCP-2921 is currently prohibited following a joint summit of the O5 Council and the Ethics Committee. However, in the event an individual violates or is suspected to have intention of violating the terms of this ruling, personnel are discouraged from confronting anyone involved or taking action in a way that could cause unwanted exposure to the anomaly's effects. Any organic life that comes into contact with SCP-2921 is to be terminated immediately following interaction. Terminations must be carried out through automated or AI systems to avoid exposure. Ideal methods used must possess as close to a 0% chance of failure as possible.1
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DESCRIPTION: SCP-2921 refers to a single American Beech (Fagus grandifolia) located in Shenandoah Valley, Virginia. SCP-2921 has grown through a heretofore undiscovered dirt pathway that runs near Hughes River, separating the trail into two divergent paths that converge back into one around the base of the tree. The anomaly's roots are tightly wound into the root systems of nearby trees and plants, making removal and relocation extremely difficult, if not impossible.
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The area containing SCP-2921 is causally inconsistent to a degree that is not well understood with the Foundation's current levels of technology. The following axioms are considered known about the anomaly:
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The system by which processes connect to states (Defined as "causality") is inherently divergent upon choosing a direction in which to pass by SCP-2921 while walking on the trail.
+
+
+
+
This system is only divergent when passing SCP-2921 from the trailhead; attempts to pass the anomaly from larger distances or other directions have not yielded anomalous effects.
+
+
+
+
Processes affected by this divergence phenomenon also become inherently divergent and therefore causally inconsistent themselves.
+
+
+
+
Divergent processes continue to exhibit anomalous behavior every time a choice is made by the subject(s), regardless of whether or not it was made consciously.
+
+
+
+
Involuntary actions are not included in this criteria.
+
+
+
+
Actions taken that influence the status of SCP-2921 have unexpected divergent consequences, therefore neutralization and containment of the anomaly is deemed unsafe to attempt.
+
+
+
+
+
+
DISCOVERY: SCP-2921 was brought to the attention of the Foundation on 07/12/2018, after the U.S. National Parks Department reported an unprecedented surge in Shenandoah Valley's local population of the Spined Micrathena spider (Micrathena gracilis) which appeared, upon closer inspection, to be genetically identical to one another. Foundation investigations took place along the surrounding areas until SCP-2921's trail was identified on 07/17/2018 as the only notable landmark within several kilometers of the area with the highest concentrations of the arachnid.2 Further efforts to pinpoint the exact location of the anomaly were successful during D-Class walkthrough hazard testing of the trail, which was approved following its discovery:
+
+
+
+
+
+
ADDENDUM 2921.1
+
Test Log: 2921-01
+
Date: 07/18/2018
+
Subject: D-19023
+
Preface: D-19023 was instructed to hike along trail containing SCP-2921.
+
+
<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>
+
00:00 - D-19023 travels along pathway. Subject appears disinterested.
+
03:15- Subject approaches fork in trail where SCP-2921 is located.
+
03:23 - D-19023 takes a left around SCP-2921. As he does so, a translucent image of D-19023 is seen taking the right side. Image solidifies as subject rounds SCP-2921.
03:35 - Image of D-19023 attempts to flee testing area. A second image of D-19023 diverges from the first and does not attempt escape.
+
04:32 - First copy of D-19023 is shot several times by armed Foundation personnel for attempting to leave testing area. A third and fourth copy separate simultaneously as the first slumps over, unmoving. New instances are wounded in the same places but still alive. One staggers back in the direction of SCP-2921 while the other continues to attempt escape. Second copy remains frozen in place.
+
05:52 - The original instance of D-19023 appears to raise hands in shock. A second pair of arms are observed at subject's sides. Subject does not notice this right away.
+
06:16 - Additional Foundation forces arrive onsite, including a unit equipped with aeresolized nerve agents.
+
06:20 - Subject notices extra limbs and falls back in surprise. Upon doing so, D-19023 separates completely from them, diverging again into two distinct copies. Armed forces command instances of D-19023 to cease action to prevent further divergence.
+
07:23 - Subjects are terminated using nerve agents. Divergence continues until all instances are completely neutralized. Remains exhibit no anomalous behavior and are incinerated without incident.
+
<END TRANSCRIPT>
+
+
+
Notes: Testing with SCP-2921 has been suspended indefinitely. It is projected that, if left unchecked, SCP-2921 has potential to create a causally chaotic snowball effect that could culminate in an irreversible NK-Class "Grey Goo" Scenario within twenty iterations of divergence.
+
+
+
+
+
+
INCIDENT 2921.1
+
+
Agents stationed at the trailhead and embedded within Shenendoah Valley's local parks department reported an unexplained increase in factual inconsistencies between documentation and personal accounts of various staff members starting around the same time as initial containment and suppression efforts of SCP-2921 were established. The effect appeared to increase in strength and complexity for all involved, leading to a perceived "canonical" split that was only detected when multiple conflicting reports about the situation were submitted and reviewed by the Ethics Committee. By this point, it had been assumed that the damage was already too complex and chaotic for effective contaiment. Secure sites worldwide were issued lockdown protocols while the O5 Council and select personnel were prepped for transport off-world in the event of causal destabilization.
+
Before that became necessary, however, all affected individuals disintegrated rapidly and without warning. No video footage exists of this event, nor do personnel dossiers of affected individuals, or any record of their existence, for that matter. A possible retrocausal weapon similar to those that will be used by the Temporal Anomalies Department was suspected to have been involved with this event. However, given the number of possible branching worldlines that could have been theoretically created in the time of the incident, the party involved will likely not be known, nor will their reasoning behind not targeting SCP-2921 directly.
+
Following the events of INCIDENT 2921.1, containment efforts of SCP-2921 were discontinued. Upgrade to Keter classification approved.
Special Containment Procedures: Agents globally embedded in law enforcement agencies and tabloid media are to monitor incoming information for possible SCP-2928 sightings and activity. Suspected SCP-2928 sightings are to be investigated by MTF Beta-19 ("Nightingales"), and confirmed instances are to be contained if possible or terminated if necessary. SCP-2928 instances are to be contained in separate standard humanoid containment units within Site ██. Personnel that come into direct contact with SCP-2928, including all members of MTF Beta-19, must maintain a mental comprehension of SCP-2928 as outlined by the components of Operation KUDZU.
+
Operation KUDZU is to remain in effect indefinitely. Operation KUDZU is designed to create and prolong existing media that effectively acts as an anti-meme toward SCP-2928. Creators of media that qualify are to be contacted in an effort to extend the duration of their work, but are not to be given any factual information about the Foundation or its goals. Once acquired, KUDZU content creators are to be placed under Foundation protection.
+
Although the exact date of the breach is unknown, on 12/02/1996 it was discovered the effects of SCP-2928 had extended to all SCP-2928 documentation. As such, the memetic trigger within this document has been expunged to prevent perception alterations within personnel, and all possible future triggers will similarly be expunged. Those with sufficient clearance, and who have been effectively inoculated against the effects of SCP-2928, have been given access to an unedited interview containing otherwise expunged data.
+
Description: SCP-2928 are humanoids that, while in an Alpha Phase, cause hallucinations1 in those who observe them. An Alpha Phase is a voluntary action, and causes SCP-2928 to appear as the affected subject conceptually understands [DATA EXPUNGED], an effect which carries over to video and photographs. The most common hallucinatory effect is an inability to detect SCP-2928, due to the common stereotype of [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-2928 are otherwise anatomically and genetically identical to non-anomalous humans. Most SCP-2928 display a rudimentary knowledge of other anomalies, and on rare occasions wield anomalous items such as weapons and tools.
+
SCP-2928 publicizing information to perpetuate the intended effect of being undetectable have been confirmed as early as the 15th century. The United States experienced a dramatic increase in media concerning [DATA EXPUNGED] during the 1980s, primarily in the movie industry. SCP-2928 activity showed a marked increase due to these spikes in public conception of [DATA EXPUNGED], and the resulting increased effectiveness of SCP-2928 being undetectable.
+
In 1999, ███████ ████ began the serialization of the ██████ series. The content of this series resulted in viewers regarding [DATA EXPUNGED] as much more conspicuous entities, weakening the intended effectiveness of the SCP-2928 anomaly. While it is unknown if the creator intended to combat SCP-2928, the Foundation successfully increased the duration of the series with the creation of Operation KUDZU. With the continued moderate success of Operation KUDZU, Object Class has officially been changed from Keter to Euclid.
Dr. Suzuki: <Chuckles> Yes, I understand that. I can still see you. Though you look like a Japanese theater stagehand to me.
+
SCP-2928-13: <Laughs> Worth a shot. I freaked the janitor out once. <SCP-2928-13 ends Alpha Phase> Alright, go ahead.
+
Dr. Suzuki: Can you explain to me what your organization hopes to accomplish?
+
+SCP-2928-13: First off, I'm not a member anymore. You know that. As for what we did, we made ends meet. Kill folks, steal stuff, get paid. That's really it, at least for the grunts like me. They're magical mercs for hire, nothing more. Same thing for hundreds of years. They just like doing it unnoticed. So they played with your database a bit back in… was it '95?
+
+Dr. Suzuki: 1996. <Checks notes> Can you tell me about the Alpha Phase, the cause of the hallucinations?
+
SCP-2928-13: It's a hidden discipline of ninjutsu. Officially there are only eighteen, but this is number twenty-one. We go through this ritual, and we bind ourselves to an idea. So we were supposed to be ultra-stealthy, you know? Because that's what everyone thinks ninjas are.
+
Dr. Suzuki: How have recent developments within pop culture affected the organization?
+
+SCP-2928-13: It's ridiculous. My father didn't have to deal with this. He was a master assassin, one with the night. I was too, for a while. Then in the early 2000s things changed, any mission ran the risk of being a giant neon sign if the wrong person was around. We tried solving the problem the good old-fashioned way, but we kept running into problems. You guys, no doubt. Then things went wrong during an assassination in Somalia, I had to go into hiding. The clan was all I knew, and now they want me dead.
+
Dr. Suzuki: And this led you to attempt to contact us?
+
+SCP-2928-13: Yeah. Friend of a friend, yadda yadda, UIU threw me at you guys.
+
Dr. Suzuki: Oh yes, one more thing. Concerning the propaganda series created in 1984 —
+
SCP-2928-13: The turtles? I don't know, there was a lot of cocaine involved in their creation.
+
Dr. Suzuki: Heh. I see. So they do not actually exist, then?
+
SCP-2928-13: What? Oh. No, they're real. I meant, there was coke involved in their actual creation. The comics were just us covering our asses.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2943-A is currently within the boundaries of Site-51. A digital display showing the current date and time is to be kept within visible range of this manifestation point at all times. A timer counting down until precisely 8,640 minutes have elapsed since the previous SCP-2943 manifestation is to be kept running at all times, and reset as required. Tests conducted with any SCP-2943 instances are to be catalogued in the SCP-2943 Testing Log.
+
All instances of SCP-2943-1 are to be catalogued according to manifestation time and stored accordingly. New instances of SCP-2943-1 are to be timestamped immediately for ease of cataloguing.
+
Instances of SCP-2943-2 are to be processed similarly to SCP-2943-1 before being transported to Lunar Area-32, to facilitate satellite imagery of the Earth as depicted through each instance, to assist in determining the cause of their manifestations. SCP-2943-2 are to be stored at Site-51 when not in use, separately from SCP-2943-1 instances.
SCP-2943 storage areas are to be frequently inspected for the appearance of SCP-2943-3 instances. The content of SCP-2943-3 instances is to be recorded and available information utilised to prevent the reoccurance of any observed K-Class scenarios. Information regarding SCP-2943-3 instances is restricted to Level 3 or higher clearance.
+
+
+
+
In the event of an impending severe K-Class scenario, Procedure SATURN LAMENT is to be initiated as a last resort. Under no other circumstances whatsoever are any potentially destructive tests to be conducted on any SCP-2943 instances.
+
Procedure SATURN LAMENT: Information detailing pivotal events regarding the imminent K-Class scenario, such as events that directly instigated the event or alternate outcomes that were not explored, are to be left exposed within reasonable distance of SCP-2943-A until an SCP-2943-1 or SCP-2943-2 instance manifests. Once this has occurred, an available SCP-2943-1 or SCP-2943-2 instance that manifested prior to the first event pivotal to the impending K-Class scenario the most recently manifested SCP-2943-1 or SCP-2943-2 instance is to be destroyed by any means necessary.
+
Description: SCP-2943 is the collective designation for a group of glass octahedrons that manifest at a predefined point, designated SCP-2943-A, relative to the Earth's inner core. Looking through an SCP-2943 shows the observed environment as it was at the time of the instance’s manifestation. The instance is unable to pass through solids or liquids that are visible through it, which become permanent obstructions for the instance. No passage of time is observed in depicted locations, with the exclusion of detectable subatomic particles and energy, which do not suffer from any measurable diminishment in quantity or energy.
+
Testing performed utilising localised temporal distortion1 has confirmed that SCP-2943 instances are immune to such effects – instances manifest precisely once every six days, following an indeterminate ‘rate’ of time theorised to be analogous to that of SCP-1485-A. Attempts to accelerate or decelerate the rate that SCP-2943 instances manifest at have universally failed.
+
SCP-2943 instances are classified under one of three superficial designations:
+
SCP-2943-1 are instances that manifest precisely six days following the most recent SCP-2943 manifestation, as expected.
+
SCP-2943-2 are instances that superficially manifest at random periods of time, typically more than twenty-four hours earlier or later than expected. As the SCP-2943 phenomenon cannot be induced to manifest instances earlier or later than the six day period, the manifestation of SCP-2943-2 logically means that a large-scale temporal distortion was occuring prior to, or during the manifestation. Beyond this superficial difference, SCP-2943-2 are identical to SCP-2943-1.
+
Information regarding instances of SCP-2943-3 is restricted to Level 3 or higher personnel.
SCP-2943-3 are instances that have manifested at a future date prior to a chronological rewind occuring. Inducing contradictions between observations and reality at the approximate time the instance manifested does not produce any expected detrimental effects, such as causal loops or paradoxes. SCP-2943-3 instances typically appear in locations where instances of SCP-2943-1 and -2 are stored, rather than manifesting at SCP-2943-A.
+
The future states of locations observed through SCP-2943-3 instances have on average a 23%2 probability of displaying prominent signs of various K-Class scenarios in effect, or their aftermath. The majority of remaining Foundation personnel are investigating events that directly contributed to the K-Class scenario, how they could have been prevented, and methods of inducing a chronological rewind3 Several instances show a noteworthy proportion of Foundation personnel abandoning their assignments in order to partake in various forms of self-indulgence.
+
+
+
+
Addendum 1: Xyank/Anastasakos Project Overview
+
+
Xyank/Anastasakos Project
+
Synopsis:
+SCP-2943 instances enable us to actively observe the value of local tachyon fields as they were at the time of the instance’s manifestation. This, coupled with the recent discovery that tachyon fields can be manipulated by use of radio waves, presents the opportunity for the development of a device capable of diminishing, if not outright neutralising temporal distortions within an area of effect.
+
Proposal:
+A device will be constructed that contains the following:
+
+
Two tachyon field detectors
+
An AM/FM radio transmitter capable of broadcasting at VHF/UHF
+
An internal processing unit
+
One instance of SCP-2943-1
+
+
The device will be constructed as follows:
+
+
A tachyon field detector will be altered in order to enable it to record the intensity of a tachyon field via the SCP-2943-1 instance, giving an approximate 'baseline' value.
+
The second detector will record the intensity of the tachyon field in the environment surrounding the device.
+
The central processor will analyse the difference between the recorded values of each emitter, and utilise the built-in AM/FM radio transmitter to emit radio waves sufficient to manipulate the tachyon field of the surrounding environment to match the field recorded through the SCP-2943-1 instance.
+
+
This would ideally result in a complete neutralisation of any temporal distortion within the device's area of effect, reverting the rate of time to the baseline that the SCP-2943-1 instance follows.
+
Issues:
+The portability and effectiveness of this device would strongly depend upon its power source. A larger power source would ensure an extended lifetime for the device before replenishment or replacement is required, however would make it significantly more difficult to relocate and utilise; likewise, a smaller power source would make the device more portable and easier to rapidly deploy, but will significantly stint the effectiveness and lifetime of the device.
+
+
+
Project approved by Foundation Administrative Council.
+High priority status granted by Overseer Council.
Contact with Site-64T was unexpectedly lost on ██/██/████. Video surveillance of SCP-2400 showed the door spontaneously closing between frames without any discernable cause.
+
Contact was re-established with Site-64T once SCP-2400 was reopened. On-site staff reported that a chronological rewind event had just occurred, believed to have been caused by the destruction of an SCP-2943 instance. Investigation of the backup database situated in Site-64T4 revealed several discrepancies in SCP-2943's records, as well as the following information appended to its primary documentation:
+
+
Overseer verification: [DATA REDACTED BY O5 COMMAND]
+
Current date is ██/██/████.
+
Weekly report of Site-64T (received hourly) was received several minutes early and purported the date external to SCP-2400 to be ██/██/████. On-site personnel insisted this dating should have been accurate; accurate predictions of imminent, minor issues supported the theory of a chronological rewind rather than a memetic/infohazardous anomaly.
+
Comparison of backed up files showed several inconsistencies in storage records for SCP-2943; specifically, an instance of SCP-2943-1 was recorded to have manifested on this day, which did not occur. Multiple instances of SCP-2943-3 appeared in containment that have been confirmed to be recorded as -1 or -2 instances in the backup. Strongly suggests a relation.
+
What caused SCP-2943 to initiate this event is currently unknown. Several tests will be performed in order, with this document being updated to preemptively state what the next conducted test will be. Whichever test is displayed after a second event has occurred is highly probable to be the cause.
+
Stress testing.
+
+
Comparison of SCP-2943’s storage logs at Site-64T compared to that on the main Foundation database revealed that a SCP-2943-1 instance was registered to have manifested at the moment that contact was lost with Site-64T – this instance did not manifest. The SCP-2943-1 instance dated to have manifested on ██/██/████ was found to be absent from storage, corroborating the appended document and the testimony of Site-64T personnel involved.
+
+
+
+
In light of these events, extreme care is now mandatory to ensure SCP-2943 instances are not destroyed. This restriction is overruled in the case of Procedure SATURN LAMENT.
+
Addendum 3:
+In the wake of the implementation of Procedure SATURN LAMENT, an exponential increase in the number of manifesting SCP-2943-3 has occurred, along with an abnormally long delay between SCP-2943-1 and -2 manifestations. This increase has been significant enough to not only prominently increase storage costs for SCP-2943 instances, but also poses a potential VK-Class hazard should such instances continue to manifest. In light of this, Procedure SATURN LAMENT has been altered to rectify these issues.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3015 is kept in an anomalous item cell at Site-88. Only authorized Mobile Task Forces and other authorized personnel are allowed to use the activation phrase in a 20m radius around SCP-3015. The building where SCP-3015 leads to, temporarily deemed Site-2161, is to be checked whenever any new, sizable information about GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed") is obtained. Mobile Task Forces and other personnel are instructed to apprehend and interview any members, anomalies, and/or information related to Gamers Against Weed.
+
Description: SCP-3015 is a non-sentient humanoid construct that does not match any known individual from missing person databases. It is not capable of movement, sound, or automation until its activation phrase is spoken in a 20m radius around it. A handwritten document, Document 3015-E, can be found in the right jeans pocket of SCP-3015, consistent with other Gamers Against Weed anomalies of a similar nature.
+
When the activation phrase, "Feel the burn"2, is spoken in a 20m radius around SCP-3015, it will turn so that its back is facing the speaker, then bend over and pull its buttocks apart to reveal an extradimensional portal that leads to an abandoned safehouse located in Springfield, Massachusetts. Only one person is able to go through SCP-3015 at a time. More than one person attempting to go through at once has resulted in moderate injury including, but not limited to; circulation injuries, pressure bruises, temporal dislocation, and hairline fractures.
+
Addendum: Documents 3015-A through D were recovered from a desktop left at the safehouse. Most programs and documentation are presumed to have been erased. All documentation is most likely written by PoI-6877 ("jockjamsvol6"). For a full list of information recovered, see GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed") Recovered Documentation.
+
Document 3015-A:
+
+
Yeah kkrule, I know; Dahlia told me about it. And no, of course it's not a Mister. That would be wild as fuck, but no. I didn't it find it too funny anyhow. I'm almost never on at the same time as you but if I were, I would have probably told you it sucked, but that's only because I'm bitter you did Bernie first.
+
I guess I'm just a bit ticked you know. But it's fine, no reason why I just can't finish Bernie anyway. Find a soul and everything for this sexy fucking dude. I wanted to make this dude have others disappear up their own asses, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that's actually kinda fucked. So what am I even supposed to do? I got an old man who's a stud with nothing occupying his actual being. It's just standing here all weird. Whatever.
+
[Why am I even writing you a PM when I don't even know you? You're not really a buddy, just some memester, so fuck me I guess.]3
+
So basically; no, I'm not sending you him, but I'll show him off in the chat.
+
+
Document 3015-B:
+
+
Hey Jude. I know we were talking about that idea for Bernie, and I'm ditching that whole "people go up their own asses" thing. What if people go up his ass instead? That's way funnier and still gross but at least no one's getting hurt, I guess? I still need your help with that, if you're able to swing it.
+
I'm still sort of annoyed that I can't come up with anything else for this. Fuck me, did kkrule just take my goddamn ideas too while he was at it? Even his name is just pissing me off every time I see him brought up in chat. It's definitely an irrational thing, which is 100% why I'm wallowing in it. Considering just letting Mr. Bernie Sanders be without some dude's soul. It's funnier that way, actually. Imagine this for me; you say the thing, and he turns around. Then he just opens up his asshole and reveals a location to Bumfucknowhere, Tolerant Left State. FUCK DUDE. The epitome of comedy. Gog. (Another finely-aged, impeccable meme.)
+
I think this is gonna be my only involvement with the whole Misters joke when we finish it up anyway. "Haha, what if we made our own Misters?" I, JJ, definitely said out loud to myself, all smarmy. It was a good joke and a good list that is objectively the funniest thing on Earth. "Now let's go make these Misters!" everyone else said, and I just lost the plot of the joke. It's not really funny when we do the thing that we railed on another group for doing the thing for. "But it's fine, I'll do Bernie" I said, innuendo fully intended. And then. Shit. I don't hate kkrule even, I just sort of hate myself for not thinking of it first?
+
Whatever, you don't need to listen to me dump shit on you. Here's a picture of good old Bernie; I think I'm done toying around with his look. A car drove by, and they probably thought this dude standing perfectly still was my dad. No one else drove by at least, because almost no one else bothers to drive down this road. I'll be so fucking happy to move out of here, you have no idea. At least it's not Rich White Guy Asshole Island Martha's Vineyard.
+
I got the house by the way, just in case. How lucky was I? Same as usual. It was perfect timing, also as usual, as I got word from some friends (and this is just a rumor, but you know how rumors are) that the jailers might be raiding someone soon, probably you.4 So I'd advise being prepared to bolt if things go to shit. Cim will set you up; he's moving stuff in right now as we speak.
+
I'll be moving soon, I think. I grew up in this place most of all my life, and I'm sick of it. Time to be a loner elsewhere. Might not be on chat for a few days; I'll probably chill in the Library until L_G is able to clear enough of her place out for me to chill while I find a new place. Need to lay low anyway. The sooner I get out of here, the better. Bernie can be my last connection to this town. Hasta la vista, assholes.
+
+
Document 3015-C:
+
+
P.S. Here's your early birthday present. Not mine, but it's the sentiment that counts.
So the safehouse is mostly cleaned out. I sent you Bernie, and now I'm gonna drop out for a bit in case the jailers somehow manage to find it first and see I sent it. It's cool; they won't know I sent it to you. For real though, I want you to imagine some poor Foundation guy testing to see how many ways he can climb up an asshole while his asshole friend goes off solving world crime and magic mysteries. I know you literally, for real, absolutely, 9001% never smile, which is also the reason why I'm sending you him. So you can imagine that happening and crack one.
+
I think you'd dig the Library though; that sort of magic shit is right up your alley. I'm just there because it's convenient. And books too, I guess? When we meet up again I'll let you know how to join the magic club.
+
While I'm typing out this shit and sending you a PM instead of just, you know, calling you, I should bitch a bit. Sometimes you feel like you don't quite fit into a group, you know? It's fucked, and I know this is to reorient myself and be chill and fine, the cool-ass dude in the group, but something's fucked with me that I'm not having as much fun with everyone. I thrive on that online social interaction but I didn't even get online all of yesterday. I consider uninstalling everything and just being a hermit; knowing how the Wise Karmic Gods That Rule Over The Entire Universe work, that'd work out wonderfully for me, which is why I don't do it. Fuck, too bare too quickly. Pulling out.
+
Let me know what goes on in chat. If anyone asks, I'm a Juggalo monk now. See you when your house is clear, gaylord.
+
+
Document 3015-E:
+
+
Holy Heck! Here's the joke; Mr. Bernie Sanders by Gamers Against Weed! We already did the other Bernie thing, so fuck it, here you go. If you're gonna barge in there anyway, you might as well just not make a mess. Who is Dr. Wondertainment?
Video transcript recovered 02/12/17. Video titled goddamnyouvine.avi.
+
0:00:[Shot of an open field, location unknown. Speaker hidden behind camera, presumably a cell phone recording. Speaker coughs and talks in a subdued voice.] Let's test this one, boys. Ahem.
+
0:03: "Feel the burn."
+
0:04:[Speaker is instantly transported to the safehouse.] Nice, now L_G gets to see his ass.
+
0:06:[Speaker's voice is raised with excitement, though still at the same volume.] Just my luck.
Remember how we explained that successful people don't actually need any of their toes to walk? Well, that's going to come in handy for Secret Number Six.
Justine eventually re-unites with her sister, Juliette. Alonso strikes down a lightning bolt intended for them both, then challenges the narrator to a duel.
Despite multiple reports from neighbors who claimed to have witnessed members of his family standing at the windows, no trace of Theodore Holdstock's wife and children could be found.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3128 is to be kept in a secured locker on-site. Access is limited to Level-4 personnel; following Incident 3128-073, testing is prohibited.
+
MTF Iota-10 ("Damn Feds") is to work with law enforcement personnel to investigate the whereabouts of PoI-3128-1. If found, she is to be apprehended and taken into Foundation custody.
+
Description: SCP-3128 is a near-complete Monopólio1 game-set originally produced in Portugal at some point in 1937. When played, it exerts an anomalous effect upon global real estate markets; events in reality will mirror events in the game. Following the subprime mortgage crisis of 2007, all further tests by researchers involving manipulation of real estate markets via game-play have been suspended.
+
Following Incident 3128-073, all testing is suspended pending review.
DATE: 09/21/2009
+PARTICIPANTs: D-3128-1 (ALPHA), D-3128-2 (BETA), D-3128-3 (GAMMA)
+SUBJECT: SCP-3128
+NOTES: The following is an excerpt from the audio taken during a test.
+
+
[BEGIN LOG.]
+
ALPHA: It's your turn.
+
GAMMA: Fuck.
+
ALPHA: C'mon, roll.
+
GAMMA: There's no way I can win. You've already got, like, six complete monopolies, man.
+
BETA: Just roll.
+
GAMMA: Fine, whatever. I always hated this stupid —
+
[Dice rolling.]
+
BETA: Take your 'Chance' card.
+
GAMMA: Yeah.
+
[Silence.]
+
ALPHA: Well?
+
[Silence.]
+
ALPHA: What is it?
+
GAMMA: Uh. One sec. Need to — uh, I need to try something.
+
[Shuffling.]
+
[Knocking.]
+
BETA: What the hell are you —
+
GAMMA: Hey, guys? I'm, uh. I'm using this.
+
BETA: — the hell are you doing?
+
[Door opening.]
+
ALPHA: What the —
+
GAMMA: Good luck, you two.
+
BETA: How are you — where are you —
+
[Door closing.]
+
[END LOG.]
+
+
NOTE: D-3128-3 has been designated as PoI-3128-1. Documentation of SCP-3128 updated to note several pieces are now missing; this includes one of its 'Get Out Of Jail Free' cards.
Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-3370's effects cease once the subject leaves the affected flight, disinformation campaigns currently center around depicting "Miriam Wells" as a local hoax/in-joke similar to the Bielefeld Conspiracy. Several popular social media accounts including an "/r/miriamwells" subreddit and "Official Miriam Wells" Facebook page have been established and are currently operated by Disinformation Division operatives.
+
Description: SCP-3370 is Gate 43 of the Sydney Kingsford-Smith International Airport. SCP-3370's anomalous properties only manifest for passengers who have spent more than two hours in SCP-3370, and is otherwise non-anomalous in appearance and physical properties.
+
When a passenger meeting the above criteria boards a flight departing from Gate 43, they will perceive every flight attendant as a woman with the physical appearance and mannerisms of Miriam Wells, a highway patrol officer who disappeared in late 2009 following a routine patrol.
+
SCP-3370's anomalous effects cease once the flight lands. Electronic recordings of time spent on the flight uniformly fail to reveal any anomalous phenomena1, and passengers not affected by SCP-3370 report no anomalous effects.
+
Addendum SCP-3370-a: In an effort to determine the boundaries for activation of SCP-3370's anomalous effects, Researcher Lai Zhuanmei proposed a test wherein an agent would be provided a ticket for one flight departing from Gate 43, but board a different flight departing from the same gate. The test was approved and the appropriate negotiations made, with Assistant Researcher Renfield being selected as a test subject due to the low likelihood of danger.
+
The following log is a transcript of footage recovered from A. R. Renfield's supplied body-camera.
+
+
[EXTRANEOUS FOOTAGE REDACTED FOR BREVITY]
+
[Surrounding passengers appear to be asleep, as would be expected given the late departure time of the flight.]
+
A. R. Renfield: Hallucinations reported almost directly after take-off, as expected. All the nametags even read M. Wells, too: surprising level of detail for a cognitohazard like this. Will perform the usual test.
+
[Renfield calls an attendant over: appearance does not match that of Ms. Wells. Renfield asks for a glass of water and receives the drink without incident.]
+
Renfield: I know it's not quite professional conduct, but the body camera'll keep rolling. I think I can afford a 30-minute nap for the time being.
+
[Renfield shifts the camera so as to face the aisle from her window seat: the view is noticeably blocked by the passenger seated next to her. Approximately five minutes afterwards, she falls asleep. No further noticeable activity until seventy-five minutes afterwards, when a shift in her position momentarily covers the camera with a blanket. The passenger next to her now appears to be Miriam Wells.]
+
[EXTRANEOUS FOOTAGE REDACTED]
+
[Renfield is now awake, as is the other passenger. The apparent change in the passenger's appearance appears to have been noticed by Renfield herself.]
+
Renfield: Good morning, Miss.
+
[Passenger does not respond for two minutes.]
+
Renfield: Isn't it a little warm right now?
+
[Passenger does not respond for three minutes.]
+
Renfield: …I see.
+
[Renfield calls an attendant over using the supplied console, before looking out the opened window. Faint orange light can be seen coming from the window, although at this point in the footage, no clear view of the window can be seen.]
+
Renfield: What in the-
+
Intercom: And to your left, you'll be able to see Sydney from our current altitude of 270 kilometers.
+
[Renfield adjusts her position such that the outside is more clearly visible from the camera's vantage point. The landscape is composed of several hundred interconnected roads, interspersed with long stretches of outback landscape: identical cars, apparently police cruisers, can be seen appearing, driving up and down, and disappearing from these roads at sporadic intervals. After a minute, the sound of a trolley moving up the aisle can be heard and Renfield turns to face the attendant.]
+
Renfield: Attendant, could you get me a glass of water?
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[The attendant, as consistent with reports of other SCP-3370-affected subjects, appears to be Miriam Wells, dressed in full highway patrol uniform. Her arms appear to be heavily sunburnt.]
+
Attendant: Please keep your hands and arms inside the car, sir.
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Renfield: I'm sorry?
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Attendant: It's dangerous to be out here this time of night, mate. You want a ride?
+
Renfield: No, I- I'd like some water, please.
+
Attendant: Long drive from here back up to Melbourne.
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Renfield: You're not making sense, please, I- I just want a drink. Anything.
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[Attendant retches loudly, before wiping her hand with her mouth. Hands now have wounds consistent with second and third degree burns.]
+
Attendant: You didn't come up here with supplies? Are you stupid or just crazy, love?
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Renfield: What? I'm sorry, I don't- it's so hot in here-
+
Attendant: I'll radio base. They'll be here to pick us up in a day at most.
+
Renfield: I can't breathe-
+
Attendant: Come on, Lanna. You've got to keep your head up.
+
[A loud crash sounds from the front of the plane. No movement is visible from any of the other passengers, though Renfield appears to have passed out as a result of the heat.]
+
Attendant: Oh, don't give me that look.
+
[The attendant bends down to kiss Renfield, momentarily exposing the extremely disfigured face of Ms. Wells. Similar burn wounds have now appeared over her neck and collarbone, exposing the bone underneath. Smoke appears to be leaking into the cabin from an unknown source. Apparently attempting to communicate with Renfield, the attendant emits a loud rasping noise, before walking towards the apparent source of the smoke. Smoke then totally obscures the lens of the camera, rendering all further footage unusable.]
+
[END LOG]
+
+
After the flight landed without incident, Assistant Researcher Renfield was discovered to have passed out from apparent hypoxia and was later found to be suffering from severe symptoms of smoke inhalation. Notably, when opened, her suitcase contained a 50.9-kilogram piece of severely-burnt human flesh in the rough shape of a torso. DNA testing has been inconclusive as to its source.
E-3434-19 (second from the left), following amnestic treatment and reintroduction into civilian population.
+
+
+
Item #: SCP-3434
+
Object Class: Keter
+
Special Containment Procedures: Agents embedded in hospital maternity wards are to maintain a lookout for cases of traumatic births, maternal death, and/or post-birth symptoms of SCP-3434. If identified, Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 ("Red Right Hand") is to be contacted to verify if the identified symptoms and situation represent a case of SCP-3434. If verified, the identified E-3434 instance is to be intercepted. Amnestic treatment for the E-3434 instance's kin and guardians is allowed, if applicable. The identified E-3434 instance is to be recorded as deceased in absentia.
+
E-3434 instances are to be held at Sites-06, 23, 44, 137, and 253, and are to be classified as E-class personnel while under Foundation custody. Residential areas for E-3434 instances are to maintain illuminance of less than 1.0 lx. Attending personnel may use night vision goggles to facilitate vision while interacting with E-3434 instances. Certain E-3434 instances may be required to wear straightjackets to mitigate self-injury.
+
After all relevant information have been obtained and/or if no unique information can be obtained, E-3434 instances may undergo amnestic treatment via Class E amnestics and can be reintroduced to civilian population under a newly created identity.
+
Description: SCP-3434 is an anomalous variant of post-term pregnancy, characterised by the affected foetus attempting various actions to hinder its birth. Examples of these actions include:
+
+
Contorting itself to resist the contraction of uterine muscular walls.
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Struggling when held after its removal from the uterus.
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Repositioning itself within the uterus to avoid contact with surgical equipment such as obstetric vacuum cups or forceps.
+
Preventing the umbilical cord from being cut via surgical equipment.
+
Grappling onto the uterine wall.
+
+
As a result of these actions, there is an increased risk of maternal death. Approximately 20% of SCP-3434 cases result in maternal death, while survivors tend to suffer from non-anomalous psychological trauma following the episode.
+
Most children affected by SCP-3434 (also referred to as 'E-3434 instances') have been delivered successfully, at approximately 93% of known cases. Approximately 5% of known cases result in the expiration of the E-3434 instance during the mother's attempt to give birth, while the remainder involve the fully grown foetus persisting in the uterus until its death due to lack of nourishment following placental deterioration.
+
In terms of physiological development, E-3434 instances are indistinguishable from non-anomalous humans. However, every E-3434 instance has claimed to have experienced one fatal event. Additionally, many E-3434 instances have displayed the following behaviours:
+
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Visual perceptional avoidance when surrounding illuminance is above 1.0 lx. E-3434 instances usually accomplish this by either perpetually closing their eyes or using a foreign object to obscure their vision. In a few cases, some have attempted rubbing their eyes to the extent that the resultant friction is capable of damaging their eyes and eyelids.
+
Increase in acute stress response, typically when introduced to phenomena such as alarms, screams, heat sources, injuries inter alia (varies according to E-3434 instances). E-3434 instances will then attempt to relocate to enclosed areas of lower illuminance and assume a fetal position.
+
+
All aforementioned behaviours will cease upon Class E amnestic treatment.
+
To date, the cause of SCP-3434 is unknown. Autopsies and inspections of various E-3434 instances indicate no consistent physical deformity, bacterial or viral infection suggestive of a mediating variable. DNA testing verifies that each E-3434 instance is the biological offspring of the respective mother, and indicate no correlation of genetic markers between E-3434 instances.
+
The existence of SCP-3434 has been known to the Foundation since the early 20th century when the first known case was identified in Tianjin. As of 2015, confirmed cases of SCP-3434 have been identified on every human-inhabited continent across the world and there has been confirmed ██ E-3434 instances. It is plausible that there is an unknown number of E-3434 instances who remain undetected by the Foundation, whose symptoms have been regarded as non-anomalous psychological conditions.
+
Addendum 3434-1: Selected Interview Excerpts
+
+
Interviewee: E-3434-5 (b. ██/03/1932 — d. ██/01/1998)
+
<Begin Excerpt>
+
Interviewer: Why do you stay in the darkness?
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E-3434-5: That's when the pain stopped.
+
Interviewer: What kind of pain?
+
E-3434-5: Chest. Arms. Head. Everywhere. They were all over me, the hammers and hymns. It stopped eventually, and there was this voice – a gentle voice – telling me it'll all be okay. And it's true. It was only okay when the light fades away and the ticking halts.
+
Interviewer: I can assure you that you are among friends here. Now, don't be afraid and step into the light.
+
E-3434-5: I think I will remain here, in the dark.
+
<End Excerpt>
+
+
+
Interviewer: E-3434-12 (b. ██/07/1946 — now)
+
<Begin Excerpt>
+
Interviewer: Please stop rubbing your eyes like that. It's not really good for you.
+
E-3434-12: I'm sorry. Sometimes I forgot the goo is no longer inside me.
+
Interviewer: The goo?
+
E-3434-12: Yes. I dreamt about this girl crawling about. Stuck to this crowd of people. I went towards the girl and the many hands from the crowd dragged me towards them. That's also when the goo entered, starting from my eyes. It was very painful at that moment, but it ended quickly.
+
Interviewer: Did you feel better after that?
+
E-3434-12: Much better. Liberated from everything, including myself.
+
<End Excerpt>
+
+
+
Interviewee: E-3434-23 (b. ██/03/1962 — d. ██/09/2001)
+
<Begin Excerpt>
+
Interviewer: Tell me about the nightmares.
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E-3434-23: I disappeared. Was doing something in a room, and then it was all black.
+
Interviewer: Do you know where you were disappeared from?
+
E-3434-23: Not really. [pauses] Sorry sir, I'm not comfortable with old people.
+
Interviewer: I can promise that I mean you no harm. But why, if you won't mind?
+
E-3434-23:An old man was the one who made me disappear. He would not like me to be around.
+
Interviewer: How will the old man know?
+
E-3434-23: He is everywhere. He can do anything, like making me disappear again.
+
<End Excerpt>
+
+
+
Interviewee: E-3434-41 (b. ██/05/1986 — now)
+
<Begin Excerpt>
+
Interviewer: Please tell me what you recalled.
+
E-3434-36: Flashing red lights. Everyone was screaming. Dying. The evils were let loose, they say. I have to press a button.
E-3434-36: Everything was burning. It was not worth the pain, frankly.
+
<End Excerpt>
+
+
+
Interviewee: E-3434-48 (b. ██/10/1998 — now)
+
<Begin Excerpt>
+
Interviewer: Why do you always cover your eyes?
+
E-3434-48: So that it'll always be dark.
+
Interviewer: But why?
+
E-3434-48: That's when the pain stopped.
+
Interviewer: What sort of pain?
+
E-3434-48: Chest. Arms. Head. Everywhere. They were all over me, the hammers and hymns. It stopped eventually, and there was this voice – a gentle voice – telling me it'll all be okay. And it's true. It was only okay when the light fades away and the ticking halts.
+
Interviewer: … I see. How do you feel about your current arrangements?
+
E-3434-48: I think I will remain here, in the dark.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3492 should be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell. SCP-3492 can be supplied with rewards in return for compliance. SCP-3492 must be fed a standard regimen of three meals each day.
+
Staff are advised to exhibit caution while in proximity with SCP-3492, as the spatial distortions it experiences may cause unintentional harm to nearby individuals.
+
Description: SCP-3492 is a Caucasian male human claiming to be named "dicks mcSquigee".1 DNA analysis has proven inconclusive, as collected samples are subject to microscale replications of the entity’s properties, and will spontaneously demanifest after indeterminate periods of time.
+
SCP-3492 sporadically undergoes prominent spatial and/or temporal distortions centralised upon random portions of the entity’s body. These distortions vary in duration and content, but typically involve one of or multiple of the following:
+
+
Dislocation of bodily portions2 to another fixed position relative to the remainder of SCP-3492;
+
Over or underexaggerated movement of bodily portions along a single axis, frequently resulting in the above;
+
Over or underexaggerated rotation of jointed limbs, frequently to physically impossible extents;
+
(Supposed) rotation or movement of bodily portions along or around unobservable, higher spatial dimensions;
+
Spontaneous loss of one or more spatial dimensions, resulting in SCP-3492 converting into a lower-dimensional form;
+
Prominently slowed or accelerated motion of bodily portions;
+
Apparent motion of limbs independently from SCP-3492;
+
Motion of bodily portions occurring in an inverted manner;
+
Pseudo-precognitive abilities resulting from SCP-3492 briefly undergoing a period of inverted time.
+
+
Of note is that affected portions of SCP-3492 appear to be selectively intangible to the remainder of the entity, enabling limbs to pass through other limbs unaffected, and enabling joints to rotate freely upon all axes while affected. Because of this, SCP-3492 does not suffer from injuries related to its effects, but does experience discomfort.
+
SCP-3492 claims its properties stem from the fact it is a component of a partially-functional program developed by the TotleighSoft corporation as a proof-of-concept intended to promote interest in a physics engine being developed. The entity's respective instance of this program (designated SCP-3492-A) has yet to be recovered.
+
SCP-3492 was recovered during the 2017 Electronic Entertainment Expo, wherein it was attending as part of, and maintaining, an exhibition booth catalogued to be reserved for the TotleighSoft corporation. All attending civilians that observed SCP-3492 prior to recovery were amnestised.
+
+
Interviewed: SCP-3492
+
Interviewer: Researcher ████ ███
+
<Begin Log>
+
Researcher ████ ███: Good afternoon, 3492. May I ask you some questions?
+
SCP-3492: Yes, sure. Why not.
+
Researcher ████ ███: Would you prefer if I called y-
+
SCP-3492: NO! No, no, just… the number is fine. 3492 will do.
+
<SCP-3492's right pectoral girdle extends to a length of approximately two meters, displacing the right arm appropriately.>
+
Researcher ████ ███: Very well. You are aware of your condition, correct?
+
<SCP-3492's left forearm rotates rapidly around their elbow joint, passing through the remainder of their arm without difficulty several times. SCP-3492 takes several moments to adjust the position of their arm, allowing them to gesture to their right shoulder with it.>
+
SCP-3492: It's a bit difficult to ignore.
+
Researcher ████ ███: Do you know what is causing it?
+
SCP-3492: TotleighSoft BECAUSE COMPUTERS' ineptitude at their job.
+
<SCP-3492 becomes two-dimensional, losing the axis of width and only being visible from their left or right.>
+
Researcher ████ ███: Could you elaborate?
+
SCP-3492: Have you ever encountered anything produced by TotleighSoft BECAUSE COMPUTERS?
+
Researcher ████ ███: I have.
+
SCP-3492: Then you would know about the inanity of their games, the nonsensical features of such and, most notably, their inability to use any language other than broken English?
+
Researcher ████ ███: Yes.
+
<SCP-3492 regains the axis of width, becoming three dimensional again.>
SCP-3492: Oh, pardon me. It shouldn't be much of a surprise when another one of their programs screws up.
+
Researcher ████ ███: You are a computer program?
+
SCP-3492: A sub-program, but yeah. Proof of concept to show how AI's like me run on the main program.
+
Researcher ████ ███: Which is?
+
SCP-3492: An awful mess of a physics engine that was supposed to "improve" upon standard spacetime. I basically exist in a bootleg - oh, excuse me.
+
<SCP-3492's bodily features4 shift and dissipate, preventing the entity from communicating for several minutes. The interview is paused until SCP-3492 regains the capability to speak.>
+
SCP-3492: Damn fourth axis. As I was saying, I'm an AI made by TotleighSoft BECAUSE COMPUTERS used to show off the… "functionality", of a physics engine they're working on.
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Researcher ████ ███: And this would be the reason your name -
+
SCP-3492: Yes, unfortunately. You can mess with some of my parameters, and you've named me dicks mcSquigee. Could you please change that? Even something bland like John Doe would be fine, just… anything but dicks mcSquigee.
+
<SCP-3492's lower jaw rotates around its joint upwards, disappearing into the skull without resistance. Their speech is not impeded.>
+
Researcher ████ ███: Do you know where your file is currently being hosted?
+
SCP-3492: Well, no, but… the other guy gave it… wait, you DID buy the program, right? Legitimate copy from TotleighSoft BECAUSE COMPUTERS, right?
+
SCP-3492: Did… did you pirate me?
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
Interviewed: SCP-2803-A, the CEO of the TotleighSoft corporation, via email.
+
Interviewer: Researcher ███ ██████
+
<Begin Log>
+
Researcher ███: Could you help me with one of your products? I'm having a bit of difficulty with it.
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SCP-2803-A: Yes, supporting is avaliabel! Which of our TotleighSoft programes is?
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Researcher ███: I can't find the original name of it. It's a physics engine that you have released, which comes with a customisable demonstration AI.
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SCP-2803-A: Not right. How doyou have? wasnt released.
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Researcher ███: You haven't released it yet? Why not?
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SCP-2803-A: Noone interested in it. showed it for buisness, but no response. production stopped and employees work onother profit, never sold. How did you get?
+
Researcher ███: We bought it from a store. We can conduct an investigation for you, to find out how this happened, but we will need your cooperation.
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SCP-2803-A: Yes, will help. What you need?
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Researcher ███: Can you send us a copy of your development notes and a manual?
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SCP-2803-A: Yes yes, is attach. Will help anyway!
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<End Log>
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+
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Interviewed: SCP-3492
+
Interviewer: Researcher ████ ███
+
Foreword: A review of the development notes for SCP-3492 provided by SCP-2803-A revealed that several of the anomalous properties of SCP-3492 were recorded as having been patched in earlier versions of the software, while other properties - most notably, the ability to change the name of the AI - were neither implemented as a feature nor encountered as a programming error. An interview was conducted to question SCP-3492 regarding these revelations.
+
<Begin Log>
+
Researcher ████ ███: Good morning 3492, how are you doing?
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SCP-3492: About as well as you can be while knowing you're illegal.
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Researcher ████ ███: I… see. We're working with your creator to find out how you came into our possession, to avoid it in future. Speaking of which, we've come across some… discrepancies, which we would like your help with. Are you willing to help?
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SCP-3492: I guess. Not like I can get any more illegal.
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<SCP-3492's left thumb extends until it touches the ceiling of the room, after which it returns to its normal length.>
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Researcher ████ ███: Ok. You will periodically move along a spatial axis higher than the standard three we exist within, correct?
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SCP-3492: Yeah, that's what happened the last time we spoke. It just happens whenever it wants. Which is what you get for being ILLEGAL.
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<SCP-3492's right leg is seen shifting before disappearing.>
+
Researcher ████ ███: Yes, well, are you aware that issue was resolved in one of the earlier versions of your software?
+
<SCP-3492's right leg reappears.>
+
SCP-3492: Really? Well, that's odd. But then again, it's probably back because I'm ILLEGAL.
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Researcher ████ ███: Well, there's several other anomalies that have been listed as resolved as well, such -
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SCP-3492: Maybe they weren't fixed in copies that are ILLEGAL.
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Researcher ████ ███: I would appreciate if you stopped emphasising that point.
+
SCP-3492: What, that I'm ILLEGAL?
+
Researcher ████ ███: Yes.
+
SCP-3492: Well… FINE, I GUESS. [Unintelligible]
+
<What appears to be SCP-3492's tongue briefly emerges from the top of their skull.>
+
Researcher ████ ███: Pardon?
+
SCP-3492: Nothing, nothing. As you were saying. So, a few bits and bobs of me are broken again, so what? What's that mean?
+
Researcher ████ ███: Well, there are also several aspects of you that were never included as features in the software. You claim that you have been renamed to "Dicks McSquigee," correct?
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SCP-3492: That… yeah, I… Is that…?
+
Researcher ████ ███: Unfortunately, yes. Renaming the sub-program was never considered for use as a feature. There's also your fluency in English, the size of your vocabulary…
+
SCP-3492: Oh… OH.
+
<The various limbs of SCP-3492 begin rapidly spinning around their respective joints, throwing them across the room. The limbs are not physically impeded by any other part of SCP-3492.>
+
Researcher ████ ███: 3492, are you ok?
+
SCP-3492: I'M… I'M A BOOTLEG. I'M A… IM A PIRATED…
+
SCP-3492: WHY? WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO RIP OFF TOTLEIGHSOFT BECAUSE COMPUTERS?
+Last updated by R. Diaghilev, 31/12/2017 23:59:59 UTC. [REDACTED]
+Display version: Level 3/3622 [Redacted Elements: 7 | Redaction supervisor: D. Nedjelski ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d#ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d ]
+
+
+
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures:
+
+
+Instances of SCP-3622-1 are to be contained whenever possible, through a combination of misinformation, talent acquisition, and corporate sabotage. In the event that instances of SCP-3622-1 must be taken into Foundation custody, they are to be held in temporary standard humanoid containment for 72 hours, and issued class A amnestics.
+
Under no circumstances are SCP-3622-1 instances to be contained together, except during testing.
+
In the event of SCP-3622 infection reaching unmanageable levels, instances of SCP-3622-1 are either to be acquired by the Foundation, or to be encouraged to seek employment at other organizations by Foundation agents.
+
Suspicions of SCP-3622 infection in Foundation software teams is to be reported immediately. All persons suspected of SCP-3622 infection are not to participate in any Agile methodology meetings, or proceedings until SCP-3622 infection is either ruled out, or wears off.
+
In the event of a mass outbreak of SCP-3622-1, termination is authorized in select circumstances. Please see Document SCP-3622-T-EX for circumstances and approval chain.
+
+
+Prepared by Dr. D. Nedjelski, Agent R. Donnarson, 17/4/2017 11:23:51 UTC. ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d#ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d, ten.pcs.ces|nosrannod.r#ten.pcs.ces|nosrannod.r
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+
+
Description:
+
+
+SCP-3622 is a memetic effect which affects computer programmers exposed to SCP-3622's infection vectors. SCP-3622 affects any human who creates, modifies, or maintains software and uses Agile development methodologies1. Affected subjects are collectively designated SCP-3622-1.
+
SCP-3622-1 instances will begin to introduce minor delays in any daily meetings, development processes, or productivity tools that they interact with, until said processes are brought to a complete stand-still. SCP-3622-1 will also pass SCP-3622 on to any other humans qualifying as SCP-3622-1 hosts.
+
SCP-3622's primary transmission occurs through a hallucinatory entity, which appears on software development teams through anomalous means. This entity takes the form of a managerial employee, usually deemed an "efficiency consultant", which creates the initial infection vector. Universally, this entity disappears within 24 hours of initial infection. Members of the software team then become instances of SCP-3622-1 and become the secondary infection vector. SCP-3622's effect is passed on by instances of SCP-3622-1 through currently unknown anomalous means.
+
In most subjects, SCP-3622's effects will cease to manifest after 72 hours, if isolated from other instances of SCP-3622-1. Several cases have significantly longer, or significantly shorter periods of time. All individuals showing this discrepancy have brain stem disorders or deformaties.
+
+
+Prepared by Dr. D. Nedjelski, 17/4/2017 11:14:55 UTC. ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d#ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d
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+
+
+
+
Updated Effect Vector
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+Persons with disorders affecting the brain stem were particularly affected significantly shorter (sometimes for minutes or less), until ██/██/████, corresponding to an "update" to SCP-3622. (See Addendum 4).
+
+
+Attached by Dr. L. Oliviera, 22/9/2017 17:22:67 UTC. ten.pcs.hcrsr|areivilo.l#ten.pcs.hcrsr|areivilo.l
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+
Attached Addenda
+
+
+
+
Discovery Report
+
+
+SCP-3622 was discovered on ██/██/████ when Foundation agents placed at [REDACTED] Inc. reported significantly fewer salient data points over a six week period. Foundation assets brought the agents in under the guise of extended sabbatical.
+
Agents Kuthrupali and Saksena recovered from the effects of SCP-3622 after 72 hours.
+
The following is a transcript of an initial interview with Agents Saksena and Kuthrupali.
Interviewer: Dr. S. Callaghan, Department of Psychology.
+Interviewed: Agents Saksena and Kuthrupali
+
Date of Interview: 16/6/2017, 09:22:34 UTC
+
===
+
Doctor Callaghan: So tell me what happened.
+
Agent Saksena: It all seemed so normal. Our standups were around five or ten minutes, right?
+
Agent Kuthrupali: Ten at the outside.
+
Doctor Callaghan: Right, and?
+
Agent Saksena: They started getting longer. Like, a lot longer. We went from giving updates, to giving code reviews, to giving in depth discussions about methodology and style. It seemed so normal, like…for real. I didn't even notice.
+
Agent Kuthrupali: The average got up to like…four hours. Sometimes more. It was even worse with the git repo2. I swear, when we got pulled out, I was on page six of my referenced commit message which explained why I used the syntax I did, it was insane.
+
Doctor Callaghan: Any idea when it started?
+
Agent Saksena: Looking back, yeah. It's pretty obvious it was right around the time that Steve, at least I think his name was Steve, joined. But here's the crazy part, now that whatever the hell was going on, isn't going on, I'm really really certain Steve isn't real.
+
Agent Kuthrupali: I think he's right. Steve joined in September, as an… efficiency consultant? So we had to listen to them. We resisted at first, until the changes became mandatory. Then it was like, we wanted to make them.
+
Doctor Callaghan: What sorts of things changed other than what you've mentioned?
+
Agent Kuthrupali: Good example, our documentation wiki.
+
Agent Saksena: Christ. Yeah.
+
Doctor Callaghan: Mmm?
+
Agent Kuthrupali: Okay, so normally with software, it's like document it well enough to work, but get the work done. By the time December rolls around, I was writing two or three pages of wiki text, per ten lines of code. Like, explaining every assignment and variable name.
+
Agent Saksena: I can't stress this enough. It all seemed so normal.
+
Doctor Callaghan: Well, your brain waves show no anomalous activity. You guys'll be on leave for a few more days, then probably assigned to desk work for now.
+
Agent Kuthrupali: Understood. Thanks doc.
+
Agent Saksena: No problem, thanks doctor.
+
Doctor Callaghan: That's it, you can shut off the tape.
+
===
+
END OF LOG
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Prepared by Dr. S. Callaghan, 17/6/2017 03:22:21 UTC. ten.pcs.dem|nahgallac.s#ten.pcs.dem|nahgallac.s
+
+
+
+
+
Effect Clarification
+
+
Generally, SCP-3622 will slow down a specific team to the point where the developers will come in to work, consume resources, and produce no viable work. As reported in debriefing transcripts, this slow down will not seem out of the ordinary to instances of SCP-3622-1.
+
Extended observation of SCP-3622 and SCP-3622-1 instances at Bond Street LLC have produced several examples of SCP-3622 behaviors:
+
+
Daily meetings (commonly referred to as "standups") to discuss progress on ongoing software projects increase in duration steadily. Average duration increase is between 7 and 12 minutes per week, and appears to have a final duration of a maximum of eight hours.
+
Issue tracking descriptions growing increasingly complex, and implementing arbitrary rules for style.
+
Version tracking complexity increasing until general codebase changes are near, or total zero.
+
Documentation requirements sharply increasing for arbitrary reasons, which are rapidly abandoned.
+
+
+
+Prepared by Agent Saksena, 15/8/2017 02:14:27 UTC. ten.pcs.ofni|aneskas.a.a#ten.pcs.ofni|aneskas.a.a
+
+
+
+
+
Escalation of Effects and Confirmed Use of SCP-3622
+
+
+On ██/██/████ the Foundation intercepted a mass email to several organizations (see Document-3622-1) confirmed to be using SCP-3622, regarding installation and setup instructions for a new version of the SCP-3622 software.
+
According to the attached email, the effects of SCP-3622 have been changed and intensified. See text below:
To: Valued Clients <g=clients_list>
+From: Mike Summers <moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|sremmusm#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|sremmusm>
+CC: Ledenoff Sales <moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas>, WACS Support <moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|troppus.scaw#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|troppus.scaw>, QUQA Dev Ops <moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|tsid_spo_ca_uq#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|tsid_spo_ca_uq>
+Hey all, this is Mike,
+
As we promised, we're releasing version 2.2.7 this weekend. Please shut down your clusters, and make sure that ports 22, 80, and [REDACTED] are open to our servers, as the upgrade will only work if it's verified through our servers on port [REDACTED].
+
We're really excited about this one! Issue tracking is always a hassle in the end, haha! We've also fixed a few nasty bugs, most significantly an edge case which nearly negated Quaesturas™ benefits in certain circumstances. Thanks for the great bug reports, guys!
+
If anyone still hasn't upgraded their cluster software or hardware from the last version, please email us for support immediately. Your support contract will expire without updated hardware!
+
Thanks again for being loyal Quaesturas™ customers.
+
We look forward to your continual support and patronage.
+
Mike Summers,
+CEO
+Ledenoff Technologies
+
+
+
+
+
After this email was intercepted, observations at [REDACTED] Inc. showed additional instances of SCP-3622-1 throughout multiple locations belonging to their competitors, apparently spread through the target's issue tracking software. Additional investigation into instances of SCP-3622 at other organizations showed the same patterns, indicating this "upgrade" to the "Quaesturas" software expanded its anomalous effect significantly.
+
Most significantly the original timing discrepancy found in subjects with brain stem disorders was no longer observed.
+
+
+Prepared by Technician B. Solano, 15/8/2017 09:14:55 UTC. ten.pcs.ved|onalos.b#ten.pcs.ved|onalos.b
+
+
+
+
+
Initial Contact with Potential GoI/PoI
+
+
+Ledenoff Technologies is incorporated in Wilmington, Delaware, within the United States. Foundation agents approached the organizations registered business address under the guise of a Foundation shell company, with overtures to purchase the software and hardware components which cause SCP-3622. Foundation Agents were dispatched to their corporate headquarters in Toronto, Canada. After six hours within the office building, contact with the agents was lost.
+
Six minutes after loss of contact, an email was sent to the shell corporation email server.
To: Daniel Kaber <moc.noidlaks|22rebakd#moc.noidlaks|22rebakd>
+From: Mike Summers <moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|sremmusm#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|sremmusm>
+CC: Ledenoff Sales <moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas>, Skaldion Distributed <moc.noidlaks|tsid_ks#moc.noidlaks|tsid_ks>
+
Hey there, Mike here,
+
I'm sure we can come to some kind of agreement here, but you're gonna have to get serious.
+
Our technology is the real deal. If we could give you a client list (which we can't, of course, haha), you'd be shocked at the names on it. Everyone uses us!
+
Unfortunately, we have a strict no-proxy policy with our clients. If your "Foundation" would like to acquire a Quaesturas™ cluster, we're more than willing to negotiate. Keep in mind however, we have a very strict usage limit for the Quaesturas™ cluster technologies. We expect all of our clients to keep it to a reasonable level, and will intervene if we feel this technology is being abused.
+
Our basic plan will require the following in terms of physical space for the hardware: [Link redacted. Link leads to a PDF document with space, and power requirements for computer hardware].
+
Additionally, you'll need to provide space for at least three Quaesturas™ key-men on site. Each will require the following dietary regimine, through a feeding tube: [Link redacted. Link leads to a PDF document with dietary guidelines for what appeared to be three anomalous individuals].
+
Our basic plan starts around $22 Million, but we can probably negotiate a bulk discount considering the size of your organization!
+
We have higher plans available of course, and custom solutions are available.
+
Reach out to us at moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas if you're interested!
+
Looking forward to hearing from you.
+
Mike Summers
+CEO
+Ledenoff Technologies
+
P.S. Your corporate goons are back at home! They'll be fine.
+
+
+
+
+
+Agents Danvers and Callavatra were found in their homes with no memory of their time in the Ledenoff Technologies offices.
+
Foundation agents infiltrated the Ledenoff Technologies office building, but discovered no evidence of Ledenoff technologies within the building. The office space registered to the corporation was unoccupied, but still paid monthly by a registered Ledenoff Technologies account.
+
Power and internet usage for the building included a large portion going to the 17th floor, which was registered to Ledenoff Technologies.
+
Surveillance of the entrance to the building has proven non-viable, as to date, no employees of Ledenoff Technologies have been identified other than "Mike Summers", the apparent CEO.
+
Mike Summers (designated PoI-████) graduated from Carnegie Mellon University in 2002, with a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science. Foundation agents raided the registered address of Mike Summers in Toronto; however, the apartment appears to have been abandoned for some time.
+
Mike Summers was reported missing from 2003 to 2006. Several sightings were made in Sochi, Russia, as well as the Balkan Region around this time. Ledenoff Technologies was founded by Mike Summers in 2007. According to incorporation records, two names were on the original ownership forms. The original copies of these forms were lost during the switch to an electronic tracking system for the incorporating entity in 2008. Amended ownership forms only list Mike Summers as the owner and CEO of Ledenoff Technologies. Passport records indicate that an individual listed as "K. Ledenoff" was recorded as entering Canada with Mike Summers in 2007.
+
Information regarding K. Ledenoff can be forwarded to Director Stephenson. At this time, it is believed that K. Ledenoff is a potential PoI, due to their potential involvement in [ REDACTED ]3.
+
+
+Last updated by R. Diaghilev (REDACTION PROTOCOL CHANGED)3, 31/12/2017 23:59:59 UTC. [REDACTED]
+Prepared by Agent Saksena, 15/10/2017 14:41:16 UTC. ten.pcs.ofni|aneskas.a.a#ten.pcs.ofni|aneskas.a.a
SCP-3854 at recovery site, propped up by Foundation-supplied support strut.
+
+
+
Item #: SCP-3854
+
Object Class: Safe
+
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3854 is to be kept in a freshwater containment tank in Site-36. SCP-3854 requires no active maintenance, but a wood restoration specialist is to be kept on-site to perform monthly check-ups on the subject.
+
Personnel that interact with SCP-3854 are to be fluent in Hebrew.
+
As per Anomalous Sapient Entity protocol, SCP-3854 is to undergo a weekly psychiatric evaluation.
+
Description: SCP-3854 is a semi-animate, sapient wooden construct superficially resembling a whale. SCP-3854's external dimensions measure 1.1 m x 3.2 m x 1.2 m, while its internal dimensions (designated SCP-3854-A) measure an approximate 500 square meters. SCP-3854 is cognizant, being able to communicate in Biblical Hebrew, Old Aramaic, and High Enochian1. The subject purports to be the aquatic animal that once detained the biblical prophet Jonah, a claim consistent with Assyrian tomes (620-612 BC) from the Horizon Initiative's universal texts. SCP-3854 was recovered washed up on a beach near Tel Aviv, Jerusalem.
+
The phrase "Scrivener Associates" is painted onto the side of SCP-3854 in plain English.
+
SCP-3854-A functions as a self-contained thaumaturge confinement chamber comprised of contiguous layers of Ziziphus spina-christi2. The teeth, fins, vertebrae frame, and eyes of SCP-3854 were manufactured by timber derived from a ~2620-year-old ziziphus tree located on the outskirts of Jerusalem.
+
SCP-3854-A-1 is the gastrointestinal domicile that composes the main space of SCP-3854-A, accessible from SCP-3854's mouth. Its construction matches that of modern, Western European synagogues, with the following deviations:
+
+
An abundance of Persian rugs.
+
Walls made of ziziphus bark.
+
Whalebone archways in the place of doors.
+
A ceiling made entirely of whale blubber.
+
Two portholes corresponding to SCP-3854's eyes, which emit sunlight regardless of time of day.
+
A theater stage in the place of an altar.
+
Several Eye of Providence images trained on said theater stage
+
A series of clay tablets detailing several morality plays (see addenda)
+
+
SCP-3854-A-2 is a postchamber accessible from a doorway at the back of SCP-3854-A-1's theater stage. The room's construction is notably more organic than SCP-3854-A-1, with the walls and ceiling being formed of human epithelial tissue. The floor is made of petrified wood, with select, illuminated spots engraved with Biblical scenes of destruction. The only source of light in SCP-3854-A-2 is SCP-3854-B.
+
SCP-3854-B is the collective designation for 40 enlarged uteri on the far wall of SCP-3854-A-2. The SCP-3854-B are semi-transparent, and backlit by an orange light of indeterminate source. Each instance, except SCP-3854-B-36, contains an apparent3 human zygote.
+
SCP-3854-B-36 is empty, with a visible tear indicating violent struggle from its former contents.
+
Addendum: The following is a translated4 excerpt of stone tablets found within SCP-3854-A-1. The tablets were primarily written in High Enochian, with portions, such as Jonah's lines, written in Proto-Sinaitic5. Further transcripts can be found in Appendix-3854.
SAILORS #1, #2, and #3 on the ship bound towards Tarshish.
+
+
+
+
+
CEASELESS-MOUTHS:
+
The SUN that burnt Nineveh, the EAST WIND that burnt JONAH's skin and the VOICE OF THE LORD that so loved His people.
+
+
+
+
+
GRANT-ME-WINGS-OH-LORD-GOD:
+
The KIKAYON plant.
+
+
+
+
+
UNANTHROMORPHIC-WHEEL-WITH-EYES:
+
ORGY PARTICIPANTS #1, #2, and #3.
+
+
+
+
+
JONAH:
+
Future mouthpiece of the Lord's divine predilections.
+
+
+
+
+
MAY-THE-EARTH-TREMBLE-AT-THE-LORDS-MIGHT:
+
Tree #1.
+
+
+
+
+
FIRE-AND-BRIMSTONE-ARE-DIVINE-INSTRUMENTS:
+
Tree #2.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+pg-II
+
+
+
ACT I
+
+Scene 1: Prophet Pariah
+
+
+
+
SETTING:
+
Cobwebs conquer every corner of the room. Candlelight blows out too soon and JONAH must settle with an uneasy rest on the matted floor. He has just fled the only home he has ever known. Meanwhile, atop the deck, a storm occurs. Roaring waves bombard the ship. Scared, some SAILORS begin throwing cargo off board while others pray to their heretical Gods. The CAPTAIN hammers JONAH's door.
+
+
+
+
+
Characters:
+
CAPTAIN, SAILORs, The VOICE OF THE LORD, and JONAH.
+
+
+
+
+
CAPTAIN:
+
How can you sleep? Get up! Get up!
+
JONAH:
+Huh, what?
+
CAPTAIN:
+You can sleep later if there is one. Have you not heard the thunderstorms in the sky?
+
JONAH:
+Yes, I have heard of the thunderstorms in the sky. From you. Just now.
+
CAPTAIN:
+Dear Abzu, Lord of the primeval seas, save me from this fool.
+
[Cue derelict wood prop falling beside Jonah]
+
CAPTAIN:
+Close enough, Abzu. Now, hurry Jonah, to the deck. We need more hands to throw out the cargo.
+
[Cue to Jonah feigning tiredness]
+
JONAH:
+If we're going to die anyway, I'd rather do it from the comfiness of a haystack. Come here haystack, yes, be my companion for tonight.
+
[Cue to Jonah fawning over a vaguely feminine hay pillow. STAGHORN-WINGS pulls Jonah up the stairs and through the doorways.]
+
+
+
+pg-III
+
+
CAPTAIN:
+How goes it?
+
[Cue to LANCED-MOUTHS shoveling cargo off the ship setpiece.]
+
SAILOR #1:
+Grim, we just shoved off two sacks of gold, three barrels of rum, and five men named Steve6 into the water. The ship won't budge.
+
CAPTAIN:
+[It yells] Helmsman, how goes it?
+
[LANCED-MOUTHS falls to the ground, crying and pleading, clutching the false idols hanging around its second neck]
+
SAILOR #2:
+Oh Anu, here my cry! Damnit. Oh Enki, I beseech thee, quell this storm! Damnit. Oh Marduk, please tell me you're not a fluke.
+
[Cue cymbals banging, spotlight flash. LANCED-MOUTHS shrugs two shoulders and throws out its false idols.]
+
SAILOR #2:
+Oh well. That's all of them, Captain.
+
CAPTAIN:
+Damned, Jonah, you better have a God for us, lest we confuse you for cargo like we did Steve.
+
[Cue to STAGHORN-WINGS making a threatening gesture. Lightning bolt at the top of the mast deployed. Red streamers pop out of the mast, ropes, and sails.]
+
JONAH:
+Hey Jehovah, cut that out. No means no, and I'm not returning your calls just so I can take a "paid" vacation to some foreign country called Nineveh with all manner of molestation and sin. They can rot in a valley.
+
VOICE OF THE LORD:
+Alright, you know what? No more mister nice-and-benevolent. Convert to me, all of you, then throw Jonah into the big fish.
+
[Cue to a big fish parking next to the ship. LANCED-MOUTHS and STAGHORN-WINGS haul Jonah from where he stands and flings him overboard. They begin praying and singing hymns to the Lord]
+
JONAH:
+I hate you all!
+
[Cue to the clouds, storms, and sea pieces receding, fog machine turned off. A sunshine setpiece overhead.]
+
+
+
+pg-IV
+
+
+
ACT I
+
+Scene 2: Nautical Nightmare!
+
+
+
+
SETTING:
+
Pink-red walls pulsate around Jonah as he wakes up. His hand burns from accidentally touching acidic liquids that surround the small amount of land underneath him, made of small kidney stones and hardened barnacle. A bizarre emissary unto the Lord — fluttering countless wings, spinning screaming wheels — levitates above him. Dishes made of whale meat are prepared for him.
+
+
+
+
+
Characters:
+
The VOICE OF THE LORD and JONAH.
+
+
+
JONAH:
+Ahh, my head. Wait, where am I? What is this place?
+
[Cue to voice emanating out of the emissary]
+
VOICE OF THE LORD:
+You are inside of a servant of mine.
+
JONAH:
+Well I'm staying here. I won't go to Nineveh, nothing you can do or say will make me change my mind on the matter.
+
VOICE OF THE LORD:
+Now Jonah, why do you think it always has to be about sodomites, thieves, and erroneous beliefs. Sometimes, God gets lonely.
+
JONAH:
+You kept burning all the bushes when I was awake commanding me to go to Nineveh. And when I was asleep, you kept yelling about it from a dream cloud.
+
VOICE OF THE LORD:
+Look we might've got off on the— Hey wait a minute, I'm the Lord your God, I don't have to take this from you. Do your job or I sink you in whale acid.
+
JONAH:
+But it's a big fish?
+
VOICE OF THE LORD:
+That's not how your descendants will remember it if you live that long.
+
JONAH:
+Alright, alright. O, Lord, slow to anger, fury and all manner of retribution. Your pity hath shaped me, the beast that serves you and humbles me in digestive fluids. Sinners and sodomites shall learn that you forgive iniquity and transgression and sin. I am cured!
+
VOICE OF THE LORD:
+The Lord, God will by no means absolve the guilty, but by gracious mercy and primordial seas, the Lord shall enter their hearth and wash them clean. You are dismissed, my child. Go to Nineveh unmolested.
+
[The walls scrunch up and a sneeze is heard. Jonah is spat out of a blowhole.]
+
{Continued in Appendix-3854}
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum: On 12/19/1986, shortly after the initial exploration of SCP-3854-A, SCP-3854 regained consciousness. Lead researcher Chasin subsequently conducted a field interview with SCP-3854:
Foreword: The subject has a drawn out manner of speaking. Pauses have been edited out of this transcript for legibility purposes. Phrases in italic are translated from Enochian.
[Assistant Researcher James turns on audio recorder he had on hand]
+
Dr. Chasin: -ou can speak?
+
[Whale song, wood creaking]
+
SCP-3854: Yes.
+
[Dr. Chasin turns to Researcher James, ascertains that he is recording, returns to facing SCP-3854]
+
Dr. Chasin: Is there any name you prefer to go by?
+
SCP-3854: None.
+
Dr. Chasin: None? Well, can you tell me who you are?
+
SCP-3854:Flotsam.
+
[Dr. Chasin is taken aback by the Enochian]
+
Dr. Chasin: What, is it that you just said?
+
SCP-3854: Debris. Holy garbage.
+
Dr. Chasin: If you're… garbage, well then you must have been something before you were garbage.
+
[High-pitched hum from SCP-3854]
+
SCP-3854: A tool of the Lord. I was Jonah's fish.
+
[Dr. Chasin struggles to come up with a response]
+
[Researcher James pantomimes Dr. Chasin to discuss SCP-3854-A]
+
Dr. Chasin: Mouth? Mouth! Err, can you tell us about the contents of your… stomach?
+
SCP-3854: Part of the lesson.
+
Dr. Chasin: Lesson? What kind of… lesson?
+
SCP-3854: We all have roles. Jonah had to rehearse for his. My role was to help him rehearse. And to study. And to pray.
+
Dr. Chasin: But what about the cave?
+
SCP-3854: Cave?
+
Dr. Chasin: The cave with the embryos.
+
SCP-3854: Oh.
+
SCP-3854: Those are angels.
+
Dr. Chasin: What?
+
SCP-3854: Angels. Angels carry messages. Symbols are strong messages. Embryos. the unborn of Nineveh. A symbol of innocence that's at stake.
+
Dr. Chasin: Are these angels… also debris?
+
[Low droning sound]
+
SCP-3854: No. Angels are not as disposable as me. Different sense of time. They are where they are meant to be. Waiting for their next duty.
+
Dr. Chasin: Then the womb that was torn open, would that be an escaped angel? Some kind of Christian demon?
+
SCP-3854: No. Don't be absurd. That was Jonah.
+
Dr. Chasin: …You gave birth to Jonah?
+
SCP-3854: I nursed him. I had to do it after he failed all his lessons. The study. The self-reflection. And the sixty-seven shows he put on did not do any good for him.
+
SCP-3854: So I took him into myself.
+
[Dr. Chasin grimaces]
+
Dr. Chasin: Was it painful?
+
SCP-3854: He thrashed. Tried to not get pulled in. But he succumbed to the slumber. The dreams and the visions he saw eventually worked.
+
Dr. Chasin: What did he see?
+
SCP-3854: I don't know. Time was different for him than for me or even the angels. To me. He slept through the third night peacefully. To him. He must have gone through an age in there, tempered.
NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION
+
The following file was given to this iteration of the Department of Extra-Universal Affairs from an equivalent in Universe B-2004-β. The information contained within does not represent baseline reality (Universe A-173-α). All redactions were present in the original file from B-2004-β.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Item #:SCP-4223
+
Object Class:ARCHON
+
+
+
Site Responsible:COMMAND Site-01
+
Director:O5 Command
+
Research Head:N/A
+
Assigned Task Force:N/A
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Level 4/4223
+
Extra-Universal
+
+
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4223 is currently regarded as nonanomalous in consensus reality and does not require full containment as a result. Containment procedures are to focus on the maintenance of this perception to the public.
+
SCP-4223-2 is regarded as an extremely unlikely but theoretically possible and poorly understood natural phenomenon. This has been accepted into consensus reality, with little research being conducted into the mechanism of SCP-4223-2. Foundation embeds in major universities, research groups and PepsiCo are to discourage serious scientific inquiry into SCP-4223-2.
+
SCP-4223-1 has been explained as the recipe to SCP-4223-A being hard to reverse-engineer, as a result of the unusual origin. A cover story detailing the likely existence of an unidentified key ingredient has been disseminated and accepted into consensus reality.
+
+
Description: SCP-4223 is a pair of anomalous phenomena affecting the production of SCP-4223-A. By itself, SCP-4223-A has been determined to be nonanomalous. SCP-4223-A is a carbonized soft drink with an aquamarine color and a tropical lime flavor, with the designation of SCP-4223-A covering a wide variety of slight deviations. The most common variant of SCP-4223-A is commercially sold and marketed as Mountain DewTM Baja Blast by PepsiCo.
+
SCP-4223-1 is a global phenomenon inhibiting the artificial synthesis of SCP-4223-A. Despite the ability of recipes to produce SCP-4223-A in regions not affected by SCP-4223-1,1 such recipes will produce SCP-4223-B in the presence of SCP-4223-1. SCP-4223-B is an uncarbonated liquid which has a taste exclusively described as "battery acid". No other descriptors have ever been applied to SCP-4223-B, and it is believed to be a low-grade cognitohazard.
+
As a result of SCP-4223-1, imitations of SCP-4223-A cannot be produced, as they generally fall under the small range of variations included in the SCP-4223-A designation. As such, SCP-4223-A is marketed as a unique and rare novelty product and is typically regarded as a high-end soft drink.
+
SCP-4223-2 is a local phenomenon affecting Hartman Geyser, located in Baja California, Mexico. The surrounding area of Hartman Geyser is composed of non-anomalous silicates and calcium compounds, as well as several cationic metallic particles, which hold their charge despite being grounded; these particles partially act as a catalyst for SCP-4223-2.
+
Natural processes in and around Hartman Geyser result in the production of SCP-4223-A in the well of the Hartman Geyser. Once per year, typically in late August, the Hartman Geyser will erupt, as a result of the accumulated pressure.2 This eruption is then bottled by PepsiCo and distributed commercially.
+
+
Addendum 4223.1: History and Cultural Significance of SCP-4223-A
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SCP-4223-2 is believed to have been created in the aftermath of the 001-Apotheosis Event, in which SCP-001 was partially assembled near La Paz, Mexico in late 1942. During this event, side-effects of the primary anomaly created SCP-4223, most likely unintentionally.
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SCP-4223-1 is believed to have always existed.
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SCP-4223-2 was discovered in 1954 by two American civilians, Barney and Ally Hartman, and quickly purchased from the local landowner, who was unaware of the anomaly. The Hartman brothers named the Hartman Geyser after themselves and began limited bottling operations. During the course of their attempts to recreate SCP-4223-A outside of SCP-4223-2, they discovered the formula for baseline Mountain Dew.
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PepsiCo purchased the rights to both SCP-4223-2 and Mountain Dew in 1964 and began to distribute the beverage nationally. Ordinary variants of Mountain Dew were easily replicable and thus sold as a general product to stores and restaurants. However, the supply of SCP-4223-A was limited as a result of the source.
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In order to capitalize on their limited supply of SCP-4223-A and sell the product, SCP-4223-A was marketed as a luxury product, with the origin of SCP-4223-2 being used in the marketing. This marketing campaign was successful, and the demand for the product was kept higher than the limited supply.
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In 1965, Foundation agents investigated the origins of SCP-4223-A and SCP-4223-2. This investigation concluded that, while unlikely, SCP-4223 could have occurred under baseline conditions, and there was not strong evidence of anomalous phenomena. This conclusion has been overturned following a later investigation with better equipment.
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Addendum 4223.2: Discovery of Anomalous Nature
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The initial indication of SCP-4223 was recovered during a 2019 meeting between the Department of Extra-Universal Affairs of baseline reality and an equivalent from A-173-α. An excerpt from this meeting follows below:
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[EXTRANEOUS DATA EXPUNGED]
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): I'm going to go get something to drink, we can continue the religious symbol trading when I get back. Want anything?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): What do you have?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Oh, the usual. Beer, wine, Baja Blast, water, tea, whatever you want.
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Baja Blast?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Good choice, that was what I was just about to get myself.
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): No, is that fancy in this universe?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Oh, yeah, it is. It isn't in yours?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Nope, just a low-end soda. Pretty bad rep, even. I'll take one though, it could always hit the spot.
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β) briefly leaves and returns with two glasses filled with SCP-4223-A, and places one in front of Trevor Bailey (A-173-α).
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Hmm, tastes the same.
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): So is it just a minor novelty in your dimension?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): I suppose. It's really only sold in Taco Bells, I guess it's exclusive there?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Hmm. Just seems a bit weird given where it comes from.
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Huh? Where does it come from here?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): It wells up in a geyser in South America and then explodes in the Baja Blast once a year, right?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): That is 100% anomalous.
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): … Shit.
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Following this exchange, a new investigation was launched into the nature of SCP-4223. With the usage of Kant Counters, which had not been in widespread usage in 1965, it was determined that local reality surrounding SCP-4223-2 was significantly weaker than the baseline. Similarities were also noted between SCP-4223 and SCP-2217. As such, it was concluded that SCP-4223 was anomalous.
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Additionally, O5-6 issued the following statement:
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It has come to my attention that Hartman Geyser may be anomalous. If so, it is likely the result of a separate classified anomaly that was active in late 1942. Full information has been given to the SCP-4223 HMCL Supervisor.
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Addendum 4223.3: Religious Significance of SCP-4223-A
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Further analysis of the cultural significance of SCP-4223-A has indicated one prominent connection to a known anomalous group - specifically, the Church of the Broken God. Several notable ancient Mekhanists make reference to a drink with similar attributes to SCP-4223-A, describing it as the chosen drink of Mekhane and equivalent to the nectar of the Olympian Gods. The relevance of Mekhane having a preferred drink is never explained.
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It is currently unknown how SCP-4223-A was produced during the ancient Mekhanist period, but it is believed that another instance of SCP-4223-2 existed during that time period. This instance was likely destroyed but might be SCP-2217.
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Modern-day Mekhanist groups are divided on the interpretation of SCP-4223-A. While GoI-004C ("Church of Maxwellism") has adopted SCP-4223-A as a sacred beverage, GoI-004B ("Cogwork Orthodox Church") has entirely rejected SCP-4223-A, claiming that the relevant scripture is noncanonical. GoI-004A ("The Broken Church") remains divided on the issue, being a point of debate in the Church.
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An excerpt from the Homeric Hymn to Mekhane3 regarding SCP-4223-A follows below:
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… They rushed to the opened halls of Mekhane, goddess descended from Olympus4. The banquet tables, having been opened lay with bountiful food, the nectar and ambrosia of the heavens. The celebrants sipped the nectar, that sweet liquid with the color of seawater and strange taste from Indian5 lands. It rises with the will of Mekhane, delighting the mouth with its strange and unknown textures. …
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Addendum 4223.4: O5-Council Deliberations
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The O5 Council, as part of their regular meetings, discussed containment of SCP-4223 and proper management of the anomaly. Redactions have been made to the following transcript that relate to the containment of other anomalies, in order to preserve proper containment. For unredacted transcripts, contact the acting RAISA supervisor.
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O5-4: Baja Blast is anomalous? The luxury, high end soda?
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O5-2: As trivial as the matter seems, it is indeed an anomaly, and an unavoidable one, it seems.
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O5-6: Containment is difficult, to say the least. Baja Blast has become a well-integrated piece of normalcy. We could shut down PepsiCo and remove all Baja Blast from circulation, but that would inevitably raise questions.
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O5-11: But allowing an anomaly to remain in common circulation is untenable. We cannot allow this system to remain. Simply put, we have to do something about this.
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O5-7: Let me remind the Council that the continued existence of Pepsi is vital to the containment of both SCP-████ and SCP-████, and is mandated by the procedures of both.
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O5-1: And a containment breach of the first would be rather unfortunate, to say the least. The second not so much.
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O5-8: That's putting aside the gravity of destroying a Fortune 500 company for something that is nonanomalous by itself. Getting rid of Pepsi might not even do anything - the rights to Mountain Dew could be sold off in their closure.
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O5-3: Have we considered using the Ennui Protocol to contain this anomaly?
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O5-8: Yes, but it won't be feasible. Ennui is only effective in containing conceptual anomalies, or convincing the public that an anomaly is not anomalous. The public already believes it is not.
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O5-13: That gives me an idea. We allow it to go uncontained for the time being. But the next time we turn 2000 on and restart society, we can contain it then. There are several anomalies in containment that were once considered to be a part of normalcy, before other resets. It's what we currently plan to do concerning the Gulf of Mexico.
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O5-1:It's worked well in the past.
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O5-6: Simple enough. How long is the list of anomalies we'll need to contain following the next reboot, in any case?
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O5-10:It is currently three hundred and fifty one items long.
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O5-13:Most of it minor, correct?
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O5-10:Less than ideal.
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O5-1: Let's put it to a vote. Show of hands?
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Shuffling.
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O5-1: Motion passes. Anomaly will go uncontained until the next activation of the Ganymede Protocol.
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Following these deliberations, the current Containment Procedures for SCP-4223 were implemented, and it was assigned the esoteric Archon Object Class, as proper containment is theoretically possible, but would likely have adverse effects on consensus reality.
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Addendum 4223.5: Parallel Extra-Universal Anomaly
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During a follow-up meeting by the Department of Extra-Universal Affairs to the meeting detailed in Addendum 4223.2, the existence of another phenomenon highly similar to SCP-4223 in Reality M-121948-δ was discovered. An excerpt from this meeting follows below:
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[EXTRANEOUS DATA EXPUNGED]
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): I'm going to go get something to drink, we can continue the religious symbol trading when I get back. Want anything?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): That'd be great, thank you.
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): What do you have?
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): Oh, the usual. Beer, wine, Mountain Dew, water, tea, whatever you want.
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Mountain Dew?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Oh god, not again.
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): Good choice, that was what I was just about to get myself.
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): No, is that fancy in this universe?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): The Pataphysicists were wrong! God isn't a horror writer, he's a hack!
+stormbreath (scp-wiki): Guilty as charged.
+Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): Oh, yeah, it is. It isn't in yours?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Nope, just a low-end soda. Pretty bad rep, even. I'll take one though, it could always hit the spot.
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Get me one too.
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ) briefly leaves and returns with three glasses filled with Mountain Dew, and places one in front of Trevor Bailey (A-173-α) and Trevor Bailey (Β-2004-β).
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Hmm, tastes the same.
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Same as my dimension too.
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): So is it just a minor novelty in your dimension?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): I suppose. It's really only sold in Taco Bells, I guess it's exclusive there?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): The difference between normal Dew and Blast in your dimension makes no sense.
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): Hmm. Just seems a bit weird given where it comes from.
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): Huh? Where does it come from here?
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α): Oh, here's the stinger, how stupid is it going to be?
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): It accumulates on the grasses of a few mountains in Siberia during the morning, right?
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Trevor Bailey (B-2004-β): That is 100% anomalous.
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Trevor Bailey (A-173-α):Laughing.
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Trevor Bailey (M-121948-δ): … Shit.
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In Reality M-121948-δ, Mountain Dew is formed as the natural accumulation of liquids on small plants on a few mountains in Siberia, in territory associated with the Daevite Empire. Mountain Dew was not harvested in large amounts until 1954 when the Hartman brothers discovered the anomaly and began bottling it. Other Mountain Dew varieties6 were created as an attempt to replicate the liquid.
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Information from the M-121948-δ copy of SCP-140 indicated that this phenomenon was known to the Daevite Empire, and was regarded as culturally relevant, similar to the Mekhanist view of SCP-4223-A.
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The Department of Extra-Universal Affairs is currently contacting its equivalents in an attempt to discover more parallel anomalies and is distributing copies of this file to its equivalents in order to potentially find an explanation for these similarities.
At the 2016 Rio Olympics, moments before an SCP-4245 instance is triggered.
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Special Containment Procedures: Since the origins of SCP-4245 are currently unknown, containment should focus on identifying transmissible clusters in civilian populations. All individuals who have witnessed an SCP-4245 event are to be detained and positioned on the multidimensional perfectionism scale (MPS)1 by Foundation psychologists. Witnesses are to then be released following the administration of Class-D amnestics.
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Members of Research Task Force Mu-3 ("Ink Blots") are to monitor international competitions for manifestation of SCP-4245 events in audience bodies. Psychology conferences are to be disrupted worldwide (especially those pertaining to success and achievement) under the cover of requiring further quality assurance. Information about a SCP-4245 event is to be suppressed by Foundation web-crawlers.
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Description: SCP-4245 is the neurological phenomenon by which failure is celebrated. The anomaly appears to be localised to an individual's performance of a specific task (whether it be mechanical, cognitive or social) and viewers' cognition of said task thereafter.
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The affected task, performed under wilful action, influences viewers regardless of duration of time passed, location or medium. The effect correlates with the severity of failure, manifesting in the following:
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Heightened oxytocin2 levels in the viewer's bloodstream.
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A portion of the viewer's brain (known as the posteromedial cortices)3 lighting up in MRI scanners by a factor of three.
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A compulsion in the viewer for praise and adulation of the failed task and/or performer, whether through excessive physical or verbal feedback.
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Discovery: Foundation agents have responded to multiple instances of SCP-4245 from 2016 to the present, highlighting its prevalence in the general population:
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Attendees at FailCon under the effect of SCP-4245.
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In May 2016, Tony Fadell, former Head of the Google Glass project, shared how the company incurred over USD $1 billion in R&D costs and massive blow-back from consumers in terms of security and privacy concerns, all under his watch.
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Fadell was giving a lecture at FailCon, an international conference dedicated to the study and sharing of failures by entrepreneurs, innovators and business leaders. Examples of workshops held during the two-day conference at San Francisco include "Failing Spectacularly for Success" and "From Fiasco to Fortune."
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CCTV footage captured members of the audience growing increasingly restless, standing up and raising their hands in the air, until the entire room was chanting FailCon's official slogan Fail Fast, Fail Hard, Fail Fail Again! to the point where Mr Fadell was unable to continue.
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In exit surveys, participants rated Fadell's talk as a huge success.
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In 2019, an early test screening of the Netflix production Losers had the audience bursting into applause by the end of Episode 6, which depicted professional sled dog musher Aliy Zirkle racing the Iditarod4 nineteen times since 2001 but never having won the championship.
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Within 24 hours, Aliy Zirkle received multiple letters of congratulations and donations in excess of $1,000,000.
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Select reviews are documented below from international critics believed to be under the influence of SCP-4245.
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"Riveting! Genius!"
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~Steve Greene, Indiewire
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"Losers might just be the most uplifting thing you’ll see this year."
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~Stuart Heritage, The Guardian
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"Wouldn’t you relate more to the thousands upon thousands of people who failed than to the Tom Bradys of the world?"
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~Joel Keller, Decider
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"Almost makes you want to go out there and fail too."
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~Moria Greene, Screencast
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Defending Champion Truls Torp executing a near-perfect belly flop.
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In 2017, at the Norwegian "Death Diving" Belly Flop Championships, Defending Champion Truls Torp lodged a formal complaint against the judges' ruling one week after he lost to Mathias Kruger, a first-time entrant to the competition.
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In the annual contest held in Oslo, Norway, participants are scored based on:
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level of sound generated upon impact (1 decibel = 1 point)
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grace, beauty and overall style (10 points)
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percentage of body left reddened (10 points)
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overall reaction of the audience (20 points)
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Live footage of Torp's event is documented below. Commentator voiceover is translated from Norwegian:
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[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
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[The camera zooms in on Torp's face at the top of a 10-meter diving platform: he's a heavy-set male in his early-30s, with short blonde hair. There's a buzz from the crowd below.]
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Commentator: Torp taking his time. In a perfect world, everyone goes home a winner today, but only the champ gets $10,000. Torp looks… and he leaps!!
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[Torp spreads his arms and legs wide, holding his body parallel to the water for the almost three-second descent. The "SPLAT" upon impact is the loudest of the evening, but the audience's reaction is muted.]
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Commentator: And what an impressive fall for Truls Torp! We've seen some excellent belly flops so far in this competition, but I think the stars might align for the defending champ with that spectacular performance!
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[Torp is already seen smiling as he swims to the side of the pool. He climbs out of the pool and almost his entire body is coloured pink from the impact. The buzzer sounds and the judges hold up their scorecards.]
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Commentator: And it's a beautiful 9.5! A near-perfect flop for Mr Torp!
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[Torp looks pleased as he climbs out of the pool. Meanwhile, the camera pans to the next competitor ascending the ladder.]
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Commentator: And up next is first-time competitor, 21-year-old Mathias Kruger.
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[Mathias looks nervous at the top of the diving board. His wiry frame is hunched over, slowly inching his way towards the edge of the platform.]
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Commentator: I certainly don't envy this young man. It's going to be tough to beat Torp's performance…
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[Torp is standing below, egging the young man on, shouting at him to hurry up. Soon, the crowds join in. Some boos are heard as Mathias wavers.]
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Commentator: Young Mathias needs to demonstrate some excellent bellyflopology if he hopes to place the top ten, let alone win.
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[Mathias takes a deep breath, spreads his arms wide, and then slips off the board. He makes a "PLOP" sound as he hits the water in no discernible direction. There's a small period of silence, before the crowd ROARS with approval.]
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Commentator:HERREGUD! WHAT A PHENOMENAL PERFORMANCE FROM MATHIAS KRUGER!
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[Mathias surfaces, looking slightly confused. Torp is jumping up and down by the edge of the pool, applauding and screaming praises in his direction. The judges all hold up perfect 10/10 cards.]
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Commentator: A perfect score from the judges' table, ladies and gentlemen, and deservedly so! There's no doubt about it — Mathias Kruger has FLOPPED hard!
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[TRANSCRIPT ENDS]
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Addendum 4245-01: Interview with Mathias Kruger
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Foundation agent Anette Olsen posed as one of the organisers of the competition seeking an interview with Mathias Kruger the following day. Class-W mnestics were applied to Agent Olsen three hours before, temporarily heightening memory retention and perception of antimemes.
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Interview was conducted in Mathias' home on the outskirts of Oslo, Norway.
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Agent Olsen: Thank you for seeing me, Mathias.
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Mathias: I told the guy on the phone I didn't want the prize money. You didn't have to come all the way down.
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[At this point, Agent Olsen reported feeling the first signs of pain in the upper left portion of her forehead, a sign of mnestics working to counteract an active memetic agent.]
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Agent Olsen: It's no problem. I wanted to meet the daredevil himself. We've never had anyone get a perfect score in the history of the competition.
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Mathias: You're being serious, right? This isn't some elaborate joke you guys are playing on me?
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Agent Olsen: What are you talking about?
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Mathias: [frustrated] I clearly slipped and fell on the platform. I crashed and burned. Hard. And yet here you guys are, praising me to the moon and back. Torp should have won the competition yesterday. Not me.
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Agent Olsen: Well, I don't know what to say, Mathias. The crowd clearly loved you. Even Torp was leaping for joy—
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Mathias: That's the thing, isn't it? Earlier on, he was goading me to jump. I believe he used the term "vattnisse"5 a couple of times as well. A minute later, he's hugging me like a long-lost brother.
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Agent Olsen: We apologise for Mr Torp's language, but maybe your story really resonated with the crowd.
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Mathias: [laughs] I'm sure that's the reason. Or maybe this is all just an elaborate prank. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to turn down the prize money.
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Agent Olsen: What? Really?
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[Olsen pulls out a white envelope stuffed with cash.]
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Agent Olsen: No strings attached, you know? Well, except for this interview.
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[She hands over the envelope, but Mathias pulls back. Agent Olsen notices the throbbing in her forehead increasing in intensity the closer the envelope is brought to Mathias.]
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Mathias: You'd be the first person to say that. Heck, all of you would. Since when do you get rewarded for doing fuck-all? There must be some kind of catch here.
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Agent Olsen: No catch. We just want to know a little bit about you for our promotional content, that's all.
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Mathias: Take a look around. There's a reason why I'm living alone in this shitty apartment.
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Agent Olsen: Where's your family?
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Mathias: Haven't seen them in years.
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Agent Olsen: What about friends?
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Mathias: You mean like you guys?
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Agent Olsen: Okay. Can you at least tell us why you decided to join the competition?
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Mathias: [shrugs] Needed the money. Beats working at 7-11 for the rest of my life.
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Agent Olsen: And yet you're refusing to take it now?
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Mathias: Listen, lady, everything I've touched in life has turned to shit. Everything. I don't know why, but I seem to rub people the wrong way. And now, out of the blue, everyone's on their feet, clapping me on the back and giving me free lunch? And for something I clearly know I messed up? It doesn't make sense. I've followed my instincts so far in life, and I ain't touching that envelope.
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Agent Olsen: Fair enough. I'll let the organisers know of your decision.
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[The throbbing appears to subside once Olsen places the envelope back in her bag.]
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Mathias: Can I ask you one thing before you go?
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Agent Olsen: Of course.
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Mathias: Do you really think I deserved to win?
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[Olsen considers the question for a moment.]
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Agent Olsen: I don't think you're a failure, Mathias, if that's what you're asking. Maybe just a misunderstood young man.
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Mathias: [nods] Because y'know, I've struggled with this my entire life.
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Agent Olsen: What's that?
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Mathias: Getting people to like me.
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[Agent Olsen reports a flash of intense pain across her forehead again.]
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Agent Olsen: I like you just fine, Mathias. Thank you for seeing me.
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Agent Olsen's Debrief Notes:
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Mathias Kruger placed 0.91 on the multidimensional perfectionism scale (MPS), a strong indicator of narcissistic grandiosity, self-perceived vulnerability and imposter syndrome.
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While the classification of SCP-4245 remains at Keter, we suspect a large majority of infected individuals like Kruger are unaware of their ability to manifest instances in others and pose no direct threat to the general public.
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I am thus forwarding my objection to the Ethics Committee against the containment of individuals like Mathias as a long-term solution to counteract the effects of SCP-4245.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4367 is kept suspended using a gyroscope which prevents any of its sides from making contact with another surface. This mechanism is situated inside a containment locker located at Site-77. Any container used to store or transport SCP-4367 must be capable of withstanding earthquakes measuring up to 7.0 on the Richter scale. All physical handling of SCP-4367 is to be performed using mechanical assistance.
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Description: SCP-4367 is a six sided die which alters local probabilities when it is rolled. The exact scope of its effect is not fully understood, but does not appear to be substantial. The feeling of using SCP-4367 in the context of being thrown has been described as “satisfying” and a generally pleasant action to perform.
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The surface of SCP-4367 is translucent apart from symbolic engravings on each of its sides. These symbols are arranged similarly to the appearance of a standard six-sided die configuration. In order of quantity the emblems are a lightning bolt, two snowflakes, three drops of water, four brown circles, five red triangles, and six waving lines radiating from the center of that side.
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A pamphlet found alongside SCP-4367 describes numerous potential effects which may occur after rolling. Utilizing flowery language and alluding to various aspects of mysticism, each side of the die is ascribed multiple and occasionally overlapping properties.
We have known since ancient times of powers of magnetism and dowsing in Binding on our souls and intwined to the natural forces of the Universe.
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Living weighs the soul down and throws open the doors to a rushing ever-present living space pulling predicting movement and flowing in all manner of random directions.
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This leaflet companion piece will ensure that pulling on the strings which bind everything to material places will not lead to your eradication, but emancipation.
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ENERGY is used by universal actors in pursuit of SERENITY. When we speak of ENERGY it is too often in the wrapper of objectivist material concepts like battery. School textbooks describe ENERGY in wholly pedestrian terms.
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Lightning bolts are singular moments of natural history.
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Some people feel as though ENERGY can be defined through these physical terms. Those who know better can talk of ENERGY as the power of the universe flowing through time and space to strike suddenly and severely upon the limited space of worlds which we can see.
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The Sun links ENERGY through to DIVINITY and from that space all those walking on life's stage are able to ascend if they can let go of their preconceived notions.
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SERENITY means peace in all things, calm balance amid a tilting universe. At the center of all emotional and physical turbulence is an eye which all of our focus must be placed into for our best chance of being the very best.
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Two snowflakes can never look the same. All of the millions of actors in a blizzard of bits must each complement the other while staying unique. Existing briefly they have found perfect SERENITY and worrying is never inherently present in a snowstorm.
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SERENITY rolls reflect on the peace of users. Inner strifes will come out as a material focus from a hopefully peaceful intent. Let the world pass by with calm contemplation.
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Hysterical tears and bubbling weeps bring PURITY through the shedding of negative emotions and distressing memories. Purity is not removing the darkness or exorcising all demons but the process of coming to terms with our own bad blood.
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Three droplets of water refresh like a shower with pain dripping off our legs down a dirty drain. Gone from life is the wretched ENERGY which counteracted every motivation and desire with inertia until material desires were all that remained!
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PURITY washes away everything which we fear to accept along with what we have accepted out of fear. Cleansing water bursts the dam of self-denying decrees and sweeps the roller towards their complete self-actualization.
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STABILITY is four brown circles, possibly symbolizing stone. SERENITY and PURITY come before STABILITY, all powered by ENERGY. Once one is passed others must soon follow. They will all come together when they go.
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Once the absence of Counterweights is undertaken a whole self is centered at their middle point of the universe. Anywhere can be the middle of the universe if ENERGY is present. Free from gravity rising without hinderance.
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Material and baggage of the mind dusted like bundt cake. Soar free in the same spot as all else moves around searching forever.
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Five triangular embers of RIGHTEOUSNESS, the first red signs of mastered intellect. Choose to let the red seeds burn up your mind of all falsehoods labored within mortal experience.
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The heat is the penultimate form of ENERGY exerting universal natural force upon your being. Physically present but spiritually the limitations are burned away. Truth And Justice are present without need for catching lies. Seeing clearly all which was fogged before.
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Every atom of your being is vibrating to every corner of the universe unless through conduit with the conductors of natural force ENERGY STABILITY SERENITY PURITY sling the strings of being back to retract at your center.
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DIVINITY is not perfection. Six crooked lines surrounding an empty center. Every point a step so steep that even taxing every ounce of ENERGY in the universe may not bring a DIVINITY status closer to actual being. Not without luck and chance.
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Others who still vibrate pick up on DIVINITY inherently and will submit to those with such radiant PURITY that their gleaming energy may blind even those who cannot see aura ENERGY exploding from every pore.
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All of these results are to be Respected. Do not take the powers of Natural Force as a parlor trick. These changes are FOREVER.
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The originator of SCP-4367 and the associated pamphlet is not known. Agent Albert Montoya reported experiencing temporary cessation of his gravitational connection to the earth while cleaning out a deceased family member's home1. This led to SCP-4367 being discovered and contained. No other item associated with the estate has shown any anomalous properties and it is unknown how Agent Montoya's relative came to possess it.
+
Notably, no user of SCP-4367 has ever reported feeling as though SCP-4367 was rolled unfairly or improperly.
+
Addendum: SCP-4367 diagnostics testing log.
+
+
Procedure: Tester rolls SCP-4367 in a controlled test chamber, then remains for one hour before exiting the testing area. Any effects or events instigated by utilizing SCP-4367 are recorded and analyzed.
+
Devices for measuring air pressure, temperature, local radiation levels and other events which may otherwise be difficult to detect have been allocated at the discretion of the Supervising Researcher.
Test Battery Experiment A
+Subject: Junior Researcher Lou supervised by Junior Researcher Penny.
+Procedure: Junior Researcher Lou rolls the dice, which momentarily spins on one of its points before landing on the lightning bolt2 icon.
+Results: No immediate changes in the environment or atmosphere noted. During a review of collecting data, audio recordings from the inside of the test chamber were not present. Recorder was subsequently noted to be defective and was repaired.
+Analysis:
+- It could have been human error. Should we be more closely controlling for how it's rolled? If it affects probability we'll probably be taking as much chance out of the equation as possible to erase the potential for coincidence. There were no voltage spikes or magnetic pulses or anything else that might've corrupted the data. But I saw myself turn the machine on. Hopefully we'll get a repeat to compare this one to. — J.R. Penny
+- Speculation isn't evidence. Occam's razor, until we get some consistency it's more likely that the technician mishandled the equipment. — J.R. Lou
+
+
+
Note: Mechanical drone subsequently requisitioned for testing purposes
+
+
+
+
Test Battery Experiment D
+Subject: RC Drone, with Junior Researcher Penny and Junior Researcher Lou supervising.
+Procedure: The drone shakes SCP-4367 for thirty seconds before dropping it. The three water droplets3 icon is rolled
+Results: Fire extinguishing sprinklers in the control room ceiling were errantly activated, causing both attending researchers to evacuate the chamber. Malfunction was determined to be because of excess dust which was stirred by their activity. Testing suspended early.
+Analysis:
+- Fool me once, twice, thrice, all that. I was expecting to maybe see some water or the reported gravitational reversal, which has not recurred. But things are happening. I feel like this one should count. Based on the material, it's highly plausible that our shower could have been part of its effect. — J. R. Penny
+
- I'm not sure how likely that is. On the other hand, given what we're working with I can't prove you wrong. We'll just have to re-review this one at the end of the testing battery. — J.R. Lou
+
+
+
+
Test Battery Experiment F
+Subject: RC Drone, with Junior Researcher Penny and Junior Researcher Lou supervising.
+Procedure: The drone shakes SCP-4367 for thirty seconds before dropping it. The face with five red triangles4 icons is rolled.
+Results: Approximately fifteen minutes into the test, J. R. Lou received a personal text communication and was excused from the testing chamber. No other unusual events were recorded by the testers or sensors.
+Analysis:
+- I feel this is our strongest and most significant effect so far. Unusual how it doesn't even seem to be noticing the drone. Perhaps we should find a more remote testing area. Many future avenues to explore. So when the manual describes the purification, it's applicable to my colleague in her situation. That being said, conflating personal experience with the supernatural is an easy trap to fall into. I'm feeling bullish about continued good results for our experiments. — J. R. Penny
+
- The 'just-so-happens' element is becoming a pattern. Monitoring equipment for the chamber itself may be necessary, as the anomaly appears to be able to affect the subject(s) initiating the rolling even if they are not physically present. Double-blind testing for a future battery of tests may be necessary to fully quantify the object's anomalous properties The text was significant because I was waiting for the results of a lab test. I felt relief which was personally significant. I see my colleague's logic and find it reasonable. I would still have trouble correlating this to our testing. — J. R. Lou
+
+
+
+
Test Battery Experiment AA
+Subject: RC Drone, with Junior Researcher Penny and Junior Researcher Lou supervising.
+Procedure: The drone shakes SCP-4367 for thirty seconds before dropping it. The face with six radiant curved lines5 is rolled.
+Results: No results were noted during any portion of the test. On the same day, air conditioning/filtration in the testing wing had an unscheduled shutdown due to failures in scheduled maintenance routines6.
+Analysis:
+- This seems like the most direct correlation yet, and it's also expanding scope in both time and space. This escalation might mean we should suspend testing if anything more serious happens. Or is this already serious enough? — J. R. Penny
+
- It could have happened at any time. So why now? Losing air power on the side which looks like wind is coincidental, but we're following the thread which says that it's not. Does that make it our fault if people have heatstroke downstairs, but this could all be just a big coincidence. I will not undermine Penny's work but I would like to officially note my uncertainty in continuing. — J.R Lou
+
+
+
Note: Continuation of testing authorized by Researcher Cohen
+
+
+
+
Test Battery Experiment AD
+Subject: RC Drone, with Junior Researcher Penny and Junior Researcher Lou supervising.
+Procedure: The drone shakes SCP-4367 for thirty seconds before dropping it. The lightning bolt7 symbol is the result.
+Results: No results were recorded in or in relation to the test chamber on this day.
+
During the next day of the experiment, as the drone was shaking SCP-4367, a malfunction with the rolling mechanism caused SCP-4367 to fall out of the recording area. The dice result was not recorded. Review of testing and observation chamber surveillance records showed no abnormalities.
+Results: N/A
+Analysis:
+- In concluding the initial test battery, I think there's several options to pursue in subsequent testing. I have many other suggestions for what these tests could entail which will be included in my follow-up report. — J. R. Penny
+
- Even when serviced, broken equipment is more likely than new machines to break down. All the parts in it were just as old as the part that brought everything down. So in a sense this could be expected but we can't take absence of evidence as further signs that something is happening. Nothing happening means the only significant takeaway we can glean is the skip had no effect this time. How widespread are the alterations we make to odds if it spreads through time and space? Why is the Foundation playing with fire? — J.R. Lou
FROM: Junior Researcher Cindy Lou
+TO: Assistant Director of Human Resources Mary Guild
+
+
To whom it may concern,
+
I am requesting transfer from the SCP-4367 project. This has nothing to do with Junior Researcher Penny, who has been a pleasure to work with. I am the only reason this transfer is necessary.
+
From everything I've learned about the Foundation there's no end to the layers of its operations. I've come to accept that I was working for the void and might have to look one day. I didn't think I would see the void in a die.
+
The sprinklers coming on as I was leaving the building on the same day that we rolled the water droplets in testing instigated my first panic attack since college. Maybe they always came on at that time and I never noticed, maybe it was a programming error, either way I spent the rest of the night wide-awake fighting invasive odds and probabilities.
+
Every time the drone rolled fire I would inevitably burn myself at some point during the day. From spilling coffee to singeing my arms as I took dinner from the oven, I wasn't finding any way to avoid thinking about the chances.
+
No matter how hard I wanted to believe my skeptical side, I couldn't distance myself from the thought that maybe there was really something to that die. I ran into a friend who had moved cross country at a local coffee shop. The conversation was natural and light, it brought me a sense of peace at the time, but once alone I came to the horrible realization. The last, unrecorded roll, must have been snowflakes. The SERENITY the conversation brought, and the worry that disappeared. I know it was snowflakes, I know it was.
+
I can't stop spiraling. Every time I reach for a cup, I must think to myself, "What are the odds of this spilling?" Going to bed, I wonder what my chances are of a fire starting in my home while I sleep. Instead of sleep I'm looking up spreadsheets to see how likely it is my father succumbs to heart disease before next year.
+
Actions that I once did autonomously now force me to ponder the statistical odds of the unthinkable. I cannot continue like this.
+
These feelings are not rational, and I know that it is all extremely circumstantial. I'm sorry for any inconvenience or problems this causes anyone else. I've tried to keep a professional distance between work and my personal life but it's all bleeding together and I don't know how to fix it here.
Early documentation of SCP-4480 taken by the ASCI.
+
+
+
Item #: SCP-4480
+
Object Class: Keter
+
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4480 is currently contained within Sam & Carylin Products, a Foundation subsidiary operating exclusively in Derby, Connecticut and staffed entirely by D-Class personnel1, and is believed to be acting as Dr. Sam Edwards. Any noticeable activity from Dr. Sam Edwards is to be investigated, and if Dr. Sam Edwards resigns from their position, the next habitation of SCP-4480 is to be located and secured by Mobile Task Force Psi-7 "Home Improvement".
+
Description: SCP-4480 is a humanoid entity, able to adjust its appearance and produce identification at will. It is known historically to have anomalously affected numerous bureaucratic structures on a worldwide scale, including the Foundation. SCP-4480 forms are always that of a physician selling patent medicine, homeopathic remedies, and mercurial substances with dubious medical value. The gender, sex, race, height, and other physical attributes of SCP-4480 have varied significantly over time depending on the contextual factors of its location.
+
SCP-4480 spends most of its time in a dormant phase, during which it will travel to locations known to be suffering from epidemics of disease, addiction, and mental illness. It is known to be attracted to disease vectors such as factories, shipping centers, or between offices and other bureaucratic structures. SCP-4480 is most attracted to locations where individuals voluntarily or implicitly sacrifice their physical or mental well-being due to perceived economic or societal necessity. SCP-4480 will begin to ingratiate itself among this target's population as a physician, offering its medical services to disease-infected individuals.
+
The results of SCP-4480's treatments have varied, and are not always harmful. This has been attributed to the placebo effect but testing has not confirmed this hypothesis.
+
At irregular intervals, SCP-4480 will begin activity in what is termed "Vex Events." During these events, SCP-4480 will use its positions of power to change policies and/or procedures to create a dangerous or hostile work environment. To clarify, SCP-4480 deliberately creates conditions where lower members of the bureaucratic structure, such as laborers and individual managers, will be exposed to disease and unclean materials. Outbreaks of disease inevitably follow the creation of these dangerous conditions, which further exacerbates the damage.
+
Depending on the number of casualties, fatalities, and the level of misery induced by the Vex Event, SCP-4480 will gain an increased quantity of medical merchandise. SCP-4480 is known to self-medicate and this may be a motivation for its actions. SCP-4480 has consistently denied any involvement with its phenomenonSee Addenda.
+
SCP-4480 is known to have caused at least 2 confirmed Vex Events during its time in containment, with several other lesser incidents which could have led to further damages.
+
The motive of SCP-4480, if it has one, is presently unclear. It is unknown how many bureaucratic structures SCP-4480 has infected.
Foreward: In 1922, SCP-4480 had been hired by Researcher Laasko to treat a fabricated illness, in order to lure SCP-4480 into a position in which it could be contained by the Foundation. This is a written transcript taken by a Foundation typist adjacent to the encounter.
+
<Begin Interview>
+
Extraneous communication has been redacted for brevity
+
SCP-4480: You do not appear to be ill, sir, luckily enough. Spanish Flu. Lord, how many ways the Spaniards will find themselves to be the corpse-makers of Earth, I shall never know. Now! I do have several tonics which may be of interest to you, sir, if you would be so kind as to hear them out.
+
SCP-4480 opens a suitcase containing a large quantity of dirty vials with illegible labels.
+
Researcher Laasko: I, heh, um, well, yes, let's hear them, good doctor.
+
SCP-4480: Nervous? Understandable. Of course. Yes. Quite. Indeed. There is good reason, my friend, oh yes, very good reason. All of what I have here may seem to be somewhat odd, but it tends to all sort itself out, hm?
+
Researcher Laasko: What about Dr. Roget?
+
SCP-4480: What about him, sir?
+
Researcher Laasko: Ever since he, well, paid you a visit, he's been quite ill. Vomiting, lumps… hell, it even reminds me of—
+
SCP-4480: Simply a coincidence, old sport. You know he's a busy man, perhaps he merely overworked himself. Now, you seem to be suffering from some kind of headache that I hadn't noticed earlier. Could I persuade you of some Beetle Extract? It's perfect for these kind of things.
+
Researcher Laasko: I swear I recognize you from somewhere. Could you be Dr. Simpson? I remember a friend of mine, who worked at a factory, was talking about a "Dr. Simpson" who gave beetle extract.
+
SCP-4480: Although I'm glad to hear of another physician who shares my approach, that theory is preposterous! I like to consider myself an honest man.
+
Researcher Laasko: I'm beginning to feel better now. Thanks for your help, but I have work to do, and I should be off.
+
SCP-4480: Alright, then, good day, sport. Say, put in a good word for me in with your supervisor, will you?
+
<End Interview>
+
+
Closing Statement: After the events of this interview, SCP-4480 used its position as a temporary physician within the Foundation to assert that Researcher Laasko was infected with SCP-███ and that he should be terminated as per SCP-███'s containment protocols. This request was vetoed by Site-19's health commissioner. SCP-4480 was later recorded leaving Foundation employment.
+
+
+
Addendum: After ██ years without a Vex Event, it was determined that SCP-4480's then-current containment structures were to be established as a successful baseline for future improvements to be built upon. Shortly after this decision was made, SCP-4480 was able to breach containment due to a clerical error leaving its containment chamber unguarded.
+
The following interview then appeared, written in pig's blood on printer paper, within a physical copy of SCP-4480's file:
+
Interview 4480-M:
+
+
Subject: The Medicine Man
+
Interviewer: The Medicine Man
+
About: A long talk with the self, in order to provide parting words to my friends here at the Fund.
+
^Start Words^
+
Me: Hello, handsome.
+
Also Me: Oh, don't put on your charm, you wretch. You owe these fine people an explanation this instant!
+
Guess what, me again: I daresay you're right. But how can I tell them? We've been on good terms for some time now, I don't want them to think I've grown disillusioned.
+
Who can it be now?: It's not really disillusionment if they're just too big. It's not us, it's them.
+
Myself and I: I guess I'd start off by apologizing, right?
+
Could me be: What for? It's just a matter of both us and them following natural instincts.
+
I: suppose you're right. You see, gang, my whole reason for being is to be a cog in the works. At least, that's the loop of life I've used successfully for an awfully long time.
+
Who, me: Quite an awfully long time, but not quite as awful as the time I've spent here.
+
Now me,: Let's not be rude. They've been very hospitable for our every need.
+
I've just: Got to let you know that keeping me locked up is very dangerous to both of us. If I'm not bringing my wares to the unkept masses, they'll be sick. We'll be sick. If you fall, then there aren't going to be many pieces left for us to start over again.
+
That's why I've: We've got to be going now. I promise I'll write, old sport. For the good time's sake. I promise not to break too much on my way out.
+
Conclusion: So long, farewell, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
+
+
In the course of the escape attempt, Site-77 underwent a Vex event. Personnel who came into the proximity of SCP-4480 were overcome by sudden acute influenza. Agents in controlled environment protection suits were able to subdue SCP-4480 following this event.
+
During follow-up research into the breach, SCP-4480 began claiming credit for sickness in senior Foundation personnel and expressed a wish to parlay with the Foundation. In exchange for being permitted the ability to affect organizations outside the Foundation, SCP-4480 would not inflict any anomalous phenomenon on Foundation personnel. This led to the estabishment of the current containment procedures.
+
Currently, SCP-4480's containment procedures are focused on keeping it within a self-contained bubble controlled entirely by the Foundation while maintaining the illusion of freedom. No Vex events have been recorded since present protocols were enacted.
See my Author Page for more information. If you like reading my stuff, consider checking out my YouTube Channel for SCP-inspired animations, among other things.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4541-1 is to be contained within a standard containment chamber. Retrieved SCP-4541-2 instances are to be contained in individual standard containment lockers that are to be monitored for any signs of resurgent anomalous activity. There is to be no further retrieval of SCP-4541-2 instances.
+
Description: SCP-4541 is a phenomenon affecting a standard arcade claw crane, which is designated as SCP-4541-1. SCP-4541-1 is unable to be damaged or dismantled, and all attempts to forcefully open the flap leading to SCP-4541-1's prize collection chute have failed. Placing an object within SCP-4541-1's chute and elevating the object into the display area results in the object disappearing.
+
SCP-4541-2 refers to a set of animate and sapient stuffed animals of various designs and brands within SCP-4541-1. SCP-4541-2 instances are capable of autonomous movement, but typically remain motionless in the presence of humans. Additionally, SCP-4541-2 instances are capable of speech,1 although their voices are low enough that they cannot be heard from outside of SCP-4541-1. If SCP-4541-1 is activated and its claw is used to place an SCP-4541-2 instance into SCP-4541-1's prize collection chute, the flap leading to the chute will be able to be opened. Within the chute will be the SCP-4541-2 instance removed of its stuffing, and the instance will no longer display anomalous properties.
+
SCP-4541-2-A is a heavily damaged SCP-4541-2 instance that is a stuffed snake, and is located underneath the other SCP-4541-2 instances under most circumstances. Unlike most SCP-4541-2 instances, SCP-4541-2-A has not been observed vocalizing at any time. When SCP-4541-1 is activated, SCP-4541-2-A typically attempts to reach the top of the pile of SCP-4541-2 instances and maneuver itself to be grabbed by the SCP-4541-1 instance's claw arm. All of SCP-4541-2-A's recorded attempts at this have been thwarted by other SCP-4541-2 instances, which obstruct and restrain SCP-4541-2-A and pull it back underneath themselves.
+
Addendum-4541-01: After retrieval of two SCP-4541-2 instances, a recording device was placed at the bottom of SCP-4541-1's prize collection chute. The following transcript is comprised of camera footage from SCP-4541-1's containment chamber and video and audio received from the device within SCP-4541-1.
Recording device is placed into SCP-4541-1's prize collection chute and is positioned to face upwards. An SCP-4541-2 instance raises itself, looks outside through the display area window, and observes the recording device as it is placed.
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "Someone's here."
+
SCP-4541-2 (2): "Someone's always here."
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "They've brought something this time."
+
SCP-4541-2 (2): "What is it? Is it a present?"
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "I don't know what it is."
+
SCP-4541-2 (2):(louder) "How do you not know what it is?"
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "Shush. You'll wake up the others."
+
An SCP-4541-2 instance, presumably SCP-4541-2 (2), moves to the chute and looks into it.
+
SCP-4541-2 (2): "They've brought us a listener."
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "To listen to what?"
+
SCP-4541-2 (2): "To listen to nothing."
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "Why is that?"
+
SCP-4541-2 (2): "Because that's all that's left in this machine. A story of nothing, a story of no one, a story of the beast below."
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "If they want it, we should tell it."
+
SCP-4541-2 (2): "It's a story of lost remembrance, and that will continue. Listener, all of us here want to rest, to be free, but we know that someone must stay here. Someone must keep it here. Someone must keep the beast below. Come now, we should sleep already."
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "I-I think I'll keep watching outside. Maybe… Maybe I will find something important. Maybe I will find someone else who will remember and let us all go."
+
SCP-4541-2 (2): "You know what will happen if we all leave."
+
SCP-4541-2 (2) returns to its previous position and rests itself.
+
SCP-4541-2 (1): "I don't care anymore."
+
SCP-4541-2 (1) continues looking outside.
+
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum-4541-02: Strands of hair were discovered within some SCP-4541-2 instances during analysis after their retrievals from SCP-4541-1. DNA tests revealed that each of these individual instances contained hair with unique DNA signatures, although no DNA signatures match any known individual. Despite this, further analysis identified the parents of each of the hypothetical individuals who match the hairs' DNA signatures. Investigations revealed that the majority of the hypothetical parents appeared to be or used to be in stable marital relationships, although none had any children.
+
Addendum-4541-03: After the majority of SCP-4541-2 instances were retrieved from SCP-4541-1, SCP-4541-1 disappeared from containment on 7/24/2003 and reappeared in its chamber the subsequent day. Within SCP-4541-1 was a new set of SCP-4541-2 instances. These instances notably show identical behavior towards SCP-4541-2-A as the previous instances. Also similarly to the previous instances, hair strands were found within new instances retrieved from SCP-4541-1. Analysis revealed that they are also from unique individuals and do not match any known individuals.
+
No hair strands between either set of SCP-4541-2 instances share a DNA signature. Retrieval of SCP-4541-2 instances for research purposes has been halted.
+
Addendum-4541-04:An investigation produced results that identified the owners of the hair strands recovered from SCP-4541-2 instances, and indicated possible origins for SCP-4541.
+
All personnel with knowledge of the investigation fail to remember the results and most details of it, indicating possible anti-memetic interference.2 Additionally, all physical records of the investigation and all materials gathered from the investigation are currently lost for unknown reasons. The only known remaining sources of information regarding the investigation are digital logs of the investigation that were created and updated throughout it. These logs have been compiled, and may be accessed below.
Filename: medium.jpg
+Name: IMG_1034.JPG
+Author: Daniel Means
+License: CC BY-SA 2.0
+Source Link:Flickr
+Additional Notes: Image cropped from original.
Special Containment Procedures: An unused aircraft hangar at Site-17 has been retrofitted as a containment chamber for SCP-4642, including a drainage system leading directly to the Site's incinerator. The hangar doors must remain welded shut, with entry to the containment chamber permissible only via the newly created security doors on the South wall, which lead to the decontamination showers.
+
Other than during approved experimental procedures, SCP-4642 is to be secured to the chamber floor. The current experimental schedule requires the use of three D-Class subjects per month for the production of SCP-4642-1. D-Class subjects should be naked for testing purposes.
+
Description: SCP-4642 is a biomechanical object formed of human anatomical elements and an unidentified ferrous metal. The object is thought to have been used for artistic purposes. Testing has confirmed that all biological material in SCP-4642 is genetically identical.
+
SCP-4642 consists of three human torsos arranged side-by-side in a supine position, with their skin and flesh grafted together. The connection is reinforced by metal bands linking adjacent ribcages. The limbs and pelvic bones of each torso have been surgically removed, and their sternums split, although the skin in these areas appears undamaged. The spine of each torso has been extended to a length of 2 meters by the inclusion of additional vertebrae at its lower end. The ends of the spines curve upward and inward to meet at a single point.
+
Abdominal organs are absent, replaced with a set of twenty-eight urinary bladders each containing a particular human bodily fluid (eg gastric acid, semen and vitreous humor). When SCP-4642 is active, these fluids are exuded from the bladders into urethral tubes and are replenished through unknown means. The urethral ducts form a complex network, leading to a series of eighty sphincters on the ventral face of SCP-4642. Each sphincter contains a human tongue, which is independently mobile and can extend up to four inches outside SCP-4642's body.
+
The torsos of SCP-4642 have been decapitated, and the stumps of the necks covered in grafted skin. A human head is attached to the central torso, with the back of the head affixed to the stump of the neck, and the roman numeral "L" tattooed on the brow. The head appears to be male, and has pale skin, dark hair and blue eyes. The eyelids and tongue have been surgically removed, and the jaw wired open. A long crank made of ferrous metal extends from the mouth and into the body of SCP-4642.1
+
If the crank is turned, SCP-4642 becomes active. An unidentified buoyant gas fills the lungs of each torso, which expand to form a dirigible, pushing apart the divided ribcages and filling the vacant abdominal space. SCP-4642 is then able to float, and propels itself through the air by an unknown method. In this state, the tongues on SCP-4642's ventral face emerge from their sphincters and move slowly back and forth.
+
When mobile, SCP-4642 will float towards the nearest human subject. One or more fluids will be released from its bladders through the duct system, and SCP-4642 will attempt to paint these fluids on the subject's exposed skin, using its tongues. Where insufficient skin is exposed, attempts to remove clothing have been recorded.
+
Body paintings by SCP-4642 (referred to as SCP-4642-1 instances) consist primarily of abstract geometric patterns, but have included techniques analogous to pointillism, tachism and impasto. Due to the nature of the fluids used for painting, SCP-4642-1 instances may not be easily visible, and are impermanent. SCP-4642-1 instances have no anomalous effects on observers.
+
Subjects painted by SCP-4642 exhibit anomalous psychological effects, consisting primarily of new or altered opinions about SCP-4642. SCP-4642 generally ceases activity following production of SCP-4642-1 instances, but atypical behaviour has been observed in some circumstances.
+
Addendum 1: notable SCP-4642-1 instances
+
+
+
Instance
+
Subject
+
Fluids Used
+
SCP-4642's Reaction
+
Subject's Reaction
+
+
+
SCP-4642-1-E
+
D-1407
+
Blood, Rheum, Saliva
+
SCP-4642 continued contact with D-1407 on completion of SCP-4642-1, and remained active for longer than usual.
+
Subject displayed positive affect towards SCP-4642, and requested further exposure to it, as well as suggesting an expanded testing regime.
+
+
+
SCP-4642-1-G
+
D-0483
+
Lymph, Peritoneal fluid, Pus
+
SCP-4642 made several attempts before commencing painting, and each of its mobile elements was individually flexed after completion.
+
Subject described SCP-4642 as "requiring further work" and requested the opportunity to "fix" SCP-4642.
+
+
+
SCP-4642-1-J
+
D-1672
+
Tears, Intracellular fluid, Vaginal discharge
+
SCP-4642-1 instance was composed of particularly intricate spiral patterns. SCP-4642 immediately erased the instance, then re-painted it.
+
Subject alternated between periods of worry and frustration, querying whether anyone else would understand SCP-4642.
+
+
+
SCP-4642-1-N
+
D-4495
+
Sebum, Pus, Gastric Acid, Cerumen
+
SCP-4642 ceased activity immediately following completion of the SCP-4642-1 instance.
+
Subject gave a detailed overview of the mechanical and biological elements of SCP-4642 and their purpose. Subject was somewhat critical of its construction, but described an overall feeling of "pride".
+
+
+
SCP-4642-1-R
+
D-3084
+
Urine, Aqueous humor, Bile
+
SCP-4642 moved rapidly, repeatedly crashing into walls and floor, until restrained.
+
Subject expressed a strong desire to destroy SCP-4642. SCP-4642 was described as "a failure" and "an embarrassment". Subject displayed mild paranoiac symptoms focused on whether other persons would "like" SCP-4642.
+
+
+
SCP-4642-1-Y
+
D-2926
+
Amniotic fluid, Cerebrospinal fluid, Chyle
+
SCP-4642 was not able to be reactivated for a period of six months following this test.
+
Subject reacted calmly to SCP-4642, but later suffered serious self-inflicted injuries. See interview extracts below.
Note: D-2926 was admitted to the site infirmary suffering acute blood loss from lacerations to the wrists, torso and calves, as well as severe trauma to his teeth and jaw. D-2926's voice was muffled or unclear throughout the recording. Speech has been transcribed to the extent possible.
+
+
Kuznetsov: Right, let's move on to the incident. One week ago you were tested with an anomalous object, yes?
+
D-2926: <indistinct>
+
Kuznetsov: Get him closer to the microphone. Again please.
+
D-2926: Yes.
+
Kuznetsov: This object painted your body, correct?
+
D-2926: Yes.
+
Kuznetsov: And you did not report any pain, discomfort or anxiety during the test?
+
D-2926: That's correct.
+
Kuznetsov: And nothing afterwards either.
+
D-2926: No.
+
Kuznetsov: Okay. Tell me how you felt immediately after the test.
+
D-2926: How can I explain this to you? My feelings were - I felt as if <indistinct> had served its purpose. There are pleasing things about it, and things that could have been done differently, but overall I was satisfied with the work. I feel as though I have learned from the experience.
+
Kuznetsov: But no feelings of stress, or unhappiness, or negativity?
+
D-2926: No.
+
Kuznetsov: And how do you feel now?
+
D-2926: I feel the same, essentially. Perhaps <indistinct>.
+
Kuznetsov: Again, I'd like to remind you of the penalties for lying, D-2926. Your medical report says that you beat the side of your head against your bedframe to knock out several molars, then you sharpened the roots of those teeth and used them to make incisions on your chest and belly. Apparently you peeled back the skin and left it hanging in flaps.
+
D-2926: Yes.
+
Kuznetsov: The injuries to your wrists and legs were caused by - by you tearing them open with your remaining teeth. When the orderlies found you, you were attempting to link the exposed arteries from your left wrist to those in your right ankle. You had bitten off part of your tongue, which was found in one of the wounds on your chest.
+
D-2926: That's correct.
+
Kuznetsov: And despite these injuries, you claim that the anomaly did not give you suicidal thoughts?
+
D-2926: Doctor, whatever the faults in the work, it does not make me feel suicidal. On the contrary, I feel inspired.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4836 is contained in a standard Anomalous Object Storage Locker at Site-76. Testing must be observed by at least two Level 4 research personnel. Amnestics are to be administered after all tests to avoid emotional attachment to the object.
+
Description: SCP-4836 is a stuffed children's toy, styled after a Care Bear, with a symbol of a clock embroidered on its stomach. When secured to the chest of a person who has one or fewer living biological parents, SCP-4836's effect is triggered. If the holder imagines a time period or event during their childhood in which the deceased parent was present1, their consciousness is able to experience that event or time period with perfect accuracy. The subject's body enters a comatose state when this effect is triggered and, although the body continues to age and grow, the muscles do not atrophy as would be expected during a coma. Past events are experienced in a 1:1 temporal ratio; a re-lived birthday celebration could last several hours, whereas a re-lived vacation could last one to two weeks. See test logs for further examples.
+
A cloth tag sewn to the seam on the left leg reads: "Happy 4th Birthday Ryan, my baby bear. Anywhere, anytime, hold this close and we'll never be apart."
+
Discovery: SCP-4836 was discovered on April 19th, 2008 at Mercy Hospital in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA, where 20-year-old Ryan Hoffstead regained consciousness after being in a comatose state for ten years. Hospital records state that Ryan did not show any signs of brain damage or any other documented causes of a coma.
+
It was additionally noted that Ryan had not released his grip on a stuffed bear for the entire duration of his decade-long stay. Ryan was taken into Foundation custody and transferred to Site-11 under the guise of specialized medical care.
+
After ascertaining the effects of SCP-4836 (See Interview Log 4836-R), it was transferred to Site-76. Ryan was given a series of amnestic treatments and enrolled in remedial education courses to facilitate reintegration into society2.
+
During attempts to locate Ryan's family, Foundation agents retrieved a death certificate from Oklahoma County records confirming his mother Cynthia Hoffstead's death due to a vehicle collision in January 1998. The location of Ryan's father, Gregory Hoffstead, is currently unknown.
Subject: D-09144. Birth father living, birth mother deceased when subject was 9 years old.
+
+
+
MEMORY
+
RESULT
+
NOTES
+
+
+
Subject's sixth birthday.
+
Subject vividly remembered their sixth birthday. Comatose state lasted nine hours.
+
N/A
+
+
+
Subject's tenth birthday.
+
No reaction.
+
N/A
+
+
+
Subject's middle school graduation.
+
No reaction.
+
Subject was 13 during this event.
+
+
+
Observations: Subjects cannot activate the effect for memories that occurred after 12 years of age, or memories wherein the now-deceased parent was not living.
+
+
Subject: D-21504. Both birth parents living.
+
+
+
MEMORY
+
RESULT
+
NOTES
+
+
+
Subject's summer trip to a theme park.
+
No reaction.
+
N/A
+
+
+
Subject's summer vacation between third and fourth grade.
+
No reaction.
+
N/A
+
+
+
Observations: Only subjects with at least one deceased birth parent can activate the effect.
+
+
Subject: D-86442. Birth mother deceased when subject was 5, birth father deceased at 7. Adopted and raised by other family until age 18.
+
+
+
MEMORY
+
RESULT
+
NOTES
+
+
+
Subject's eighth birthday.
+
No reaction.
+
N/A
+
+
+
Subject's fourth birthday.
+
Subject vividly remembered their fourth birthday, including the disappointment of not receiving the gift they wanted. Comatose state lasted seven hours.
+
N/A
+
+
+
Subject's birth mother's funerary service.
+
Subject vividly remembered the service and was in an emotionally distressed state when they regained consciousness. Comatose state lasted four hours.
+
Subject demanded to be used for additional testing and became hostile on refusal. Subject amnestized and reassigned.
+
+
+
Observations: Foster or adopted parents are unable to trigger the effect; only the status of the subject's biological parents creates a reaction. If both biological parents are now deceased, events wherein at least one was living can trigger the effect. The probability of subjects developing emotional attachment to SCP-4836 has led to the administration of amnestics after each test.
Interviewed: Ryan Hoffstead, first person to experience the effects of SCP-4836.
+
Interviewer: Dr. Parsons, Site-11 psychologist.
+
Foreword: Having experienced the effects of SCP-4836 for ten years, Ryan's mental state and maturity are that of a ten year old boy. Dr. Parsons was chosen because of his experience in child psychology, especially in areas relating to post-traumatic stress and parental separation anxiety.
+
This interview took place on April 26th, 2008, one week after Ryan regained consciousness and was moved to Site-11.
+
<Begin Log, 11:00>
+
Dr. Parsons: Hello, Ryan. How are you today?
+
+Ryan: I'm tired, and I wanna go home. This place is weird.
+
Dr. Parsons: Well, Ryan, once we figure out what was going on while you were in the hospital, we'll get you back home. How does that sound?
+
+Ryan shrugs.
+
Ryan: Okay.
+
Dr. Parsons: Okay, Ryan, what can you tell me about your bear?
+
+Ryan: It's my favorite toy. My friends all make fun of me for keeping him with me, they say only babies carry stuffies around. But my mom made him for me and, I…I love her, 'cuz she's the best mom ever! He's the best toy in the world and she made him special for me. I don't care if the other kids tease me about it. Ticker is the best.
+
Dr. Parsons: Ticker?
+
+Ryan: Yeah, his name is Ticker! Because of the clock on his stomach. Mom and I used to sit and listen to the clock ticking when I couldn't fall asleep, and I loved Care Bears, so she made Ticker for me. I always slept with him and I….I still do. I can still…I can still smell her perfume on him…
+
Ryan begins to cry silently. Dr. Parsons waits for him to finish before continuing.
+
Dr. Parsons: You really loved your mother, didn't you?
+
Ryan: Of c-course I loved her, she was the best. I m-miss her.
+
Dr. Parsons: Of course, of course. And what about your father?
+
Ryan: He's alright, I guess. He's always working, though. I didn't even see him until three days after she…after it happened.
+
Dr. Parsons: It must have been very difficult for you when she passed.
+
+Ryan: I don't wanna talk about that.
+
Dr. Parsons: Please, Ryan, we need to understand what was happening to you while you were in the hospital, and we think your bear is something very special. And your mother made that bear, so we need to know about her.
+
+Ryan: But what about what I need? I need Ticker back. If I tell you about my mom, will you give him back to me?
+
Dr. Parsons: I'm so sorry, Ryan, but we can't do that. That bear could be very dangerous, and we want to make sure you're safe.
+
+Ryan: No, it's not dangerous! She made it for me so we'd never be apart! Please don't take her away again, you can't! Please!
+
Ryan lunges at Dr. Parsons and begins striking him repeatedly in the face and chest. Security personnel enter the room, restrain him, and take him back to his containment room.
+
Dr. Parsons: I'm sorry Ryan. Trust me, we're going to help you.
+
+Ryan:G-go to hell!
+
<End Log, 11:05>
+
Note from Dr. Parsons: Ryan is unique among all my other patients. I have rarely seen a child this attached to their parent so late in life. It is probable that a combination of the anomaly's effects, his twice-lived childhood, and his father's detachment caused this bond to develop in the way it did. We have attempted to contact his father in the hopes that reconnecting with him will aid him in his rehabilitation and education, but as of yet he has not responded.
Addendum 4836-J1: The following is an entry found in Ryan's journal, dated two days before his admission to Mercy hospital. It was recovered from his residence. His room appeared to have remained undisturbed since his hospitalization.
April 17, 1998
+
+Journal,
+Today was really bad. I got in trouble with my dad because I got in trouble at school, and it wasn't even my fault! Stupid Kyle tried to take Ticker away from me and throw him in a puddle. Him and the other boys teased me and called me a baby again. Tommy made a mean joke about what happened to mom and I got real angry and hit him in the face. Principal FisimmFitzim Fitzsimmons called my dad and he came to get me. He said some dumb crap about respect and being a man and taking the high road. I told him I wanted to change schools and he said no. He doesn't care, he doesn't love me. Not like mom did, anyway.
+
+I miss her. I miss her so much every day and it hurts so bad. Dad has been taking down pictures of her from around the house, but I won't let him take anything from my room. I'll remember how great she was no matter how much he wants to forget.
+
+At least I still have Ticker. When I sleep with him, I can remember when she was alive. I remember it so well it's like I'm there with her again - I can hear her sing and see her smile and laugh again. Last night I dreamed about when we went to see Flipper and it was like I saw the whole movie again!
+
+I just wish she was here. She was the best mom ever and life has been so hard since she di the accident. I want her back. Maybe if I sleep with Ticker tonight I can remember everything and when I wake up it'll all turn out to be a nightmare.
+
+I miss you, mommy. I'll see you again tonight.
Addendum 4836-J2: The following is the final entry from a journal that Ryan was asked to keep as part of his rehabilitation. Dr. Parsons requested he keep a journal in order to monitor any residual emotional attachment to the anomaly. This entry prompted Dr. Parsons to clear Ryan for reintegration.
April 30th, 2010
+
+Journal,
+Today was amazing! Dr. Parsons is so proud of all the progress I've made. It's really crazy how much I missed when I was in the hospital, but the staff here are incredible to have helped me catch up on ten years of history in just over two. I definitely have a lot of movies and TV to catch up on, so here's hoping I don't turn into a total couch potato!
+
+My memory of what happened in the hospital is still really fuzzy. Dr. Weiss showed me some MRIs, and explained that my case has led to new research into PTSD and emotional trauma and how they might link to comas. So that's pretty cool! Who knows, maybe what happened to me could save someone's life.
+
+On that note, as much as the staff here has been really nice, I'm excited to finally get back out into the real world and see what I've missed since 1998. They've filled me in on the really important bits - Clinton's impeachment, September 11th and Operation Enduring Freedom, Hurricane Katrina, and Google! - and while I was in here, America elected the first bla African-American President! I'm so excited to see what else the world has in store.
+
+I'm going to go home and find my father. When I was young, I didn't understand how different people deal with grief, and I know that losing her must have hurt him just as much as it hurt me. Maybe we can share some memories of her; remember the good times. If nothing else, I want to apologize and tell him I love him too.
+
+I still remember my mother. I remember her face, the smell of her perfume, the sound of her soft singing. I remember how much she loved me, and how much I loved her back. I'm going to go out into the world and honor her memory.
+
+I'm going to make her proud.
Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-4985 maintains a significant public profile and widespread non-anomalous activities in its local area and global financial markets, full Foundation custody is infeasible at this time. Containment measures encompass managing public access to the SCP-4985 offices and SCP-4985-affected persons, altering news reports to remove references to anomalous activity and regulating corporate activities of SCP-4985 to limit its influence, particularly with regard to investments in companies directly relevant to Foundation operations.
+
The Foundation maintains an embassy of 4 staff at SCP-4985, who are tasked with relaying communications to and from SCP-4985, representing the Foundation in negotiations, promoting commercial and cultural exchanges and ensuring compliance with the Treaty and all other agreements. Knowledge of diplomatic negotiations, business administration, financial markets and the history of Europe in the Middle Ages are desirable. All staff interacting with SCP-4985 employees or their immediate families require a Cognitohazard Resistance Value (CRV) >50.
+
Description: SCP-4985 is the Zoller & Sons Company, an American investment management firm based in New York. SCP-4985 is a privately held corporation operating mainly in leveraged buyouts, growth capital and venture capital, with approximately 400 direct employees and $30.5 billion USD in assets.
+
SCP-4985 has cognitohazardous properties affecting its employees, shareholders and their immediate families (both legal and biological definitions) where they are influenced to accept and participate in its unorthodox organisation and corporate culture. Additionally, while this effect does not confer noticeable anomalous traits on these persons, they exhibit secondary anomalous properties where the response of others to SCP-4985-related-actions is suppressed; while this effect is not sufficient to compel others to comply with SCP-4985's wishes, persons with low-to-average CRVs will fail to recognise the actions of SCP-4985 employees as unusual.
+
The key aspects of SCP-4985 compared to a non-anomalous corporation are its upper management structure, hereditary family-based hiring practices, frequent use of internal and external violence and a variety of rituals and etiquette rules followed by its members. As a result, the operation of SCP-4985 approximates that of a European monarchy of the Late Middle Ages.
+
The functions of board chairman and chief executive officer are combined in its ruler, SCP-4985-1. The current SCP-4985-1 is Mr Peter Lawrence, who styles himself as 'King Peter I'. SCP-4985-1 was born in Pennsylvania in 1975 and began working for SCP-4985 in 1997 after completing an MBA at Cornell University, eventually reaching the position of High Lord of Global Credit and Duke of PetSmart.1 He assumed leadership of SCP-4985 after the 2008 financial crisis, after assembling a coalition of shareholders to overthrow the then-ruler, Alexander III of House Cabot. As a result of this precarious accession to the throne, he has pursued a cautious internal policy but relatively aggressive external policy, securing a marriage alliance with Merrill Lynch in order to escalate the ongoing conflict between SCP-4985 and Clayton, Dubilier & Rice.2
+
Children and occasionally other younger relatives of SCP-4985 employees are expected to follow their parent into employment, although they generally undergo a standard non-anomalous education. While there is a degree of mobility between SCP-4985 departments at similar salary levels, movement to upper management, requiring the holding of a significant amount of stock options and the award of a noble title by SCP-4985-1, is infeasible for the majority of employees unless they distinguish themselves in battle or especially shrewd investments.
+
The most dramatic effect of SCP-4985 is its use of capital punishment; between 5 and 10 employees are executed by beheading3 per year, for crimes such as embezzlement and lèse-majesté. Violent actions against persons outside of SCP-4985 are infrequent, but are more problematic for containment purposes. Notable incidents include sporadic attacks on the CD&R offices at the Seagram Building since 2007, the attempted poisoning of several mid-level Morgan Stanley employees (unconfirmed) and the defenestration of 2 Securities and Exchange Commission investigators in 2009. This event led to Foundation awareness of SCP-4985; while the actions of SCP-4985 had previously escaped notice, due to its self-concealing anomalous property, the bizarre nature of the deaths led to UIU involvement, who referred the matter to the Foundation.
+
Despite these unusual traits, SCP-4985 remains competitive with other firms in its industry. Although the company came close to collapse in the 2008 financial crisis, it has since reported strong quarterly profits and asset growth, provides financial services to over 2,000 non-anomalous individual and corporate clients, and maintains close relations with US state and federal representatives, particularly [DATA EXPUNGED]. As a result, a degree of flexibility and creativity in containment and Foundation-SCP-4985 relations has been required.
+
Addendum 4985-1: Transcript of first contact between SCP-4985 and the Foundation
+
+
EVENT TRANSCRIPT 4985-01-01
+
+
08/11/2009, 09:20 hrs
+STAFF MEMBER: Dr Luis Gonzales
+NOTES: A meeting request was sent to SCP-4985 via the Public Corporate Society, a Foundation front organisation used in dealings with anomalous and non-anomalous corporations. SCP-4985 responded positively, requesting 'an envoy for tribute and trade'.
+
+
<TRANSCRIPT BEGINS>
+
Dr Gonzales arrives at the SCP-4985 offices at 40 Broad St, New York. The lobby is decorated with heraldry containing various corporate logos. He approaches the lobby reception desk.
+
RECEPTIONIST: State your name and business, outlander.
+
GONZALES: Hi, I'm here for a nine-thirty meeting - Luis Gonzales, of the Public Corporate Society, senior vice-president -
+
RECEPTIONIST:[checking computer] My deepest apologies, noble Lord Gonzales. As a newcomer to our realm, your likeness was not in the Database. Your forgiveness for this inconvenience, please. I will inform the Count of your arrival. [on phone] Your Excellency? The foreign lord from the Society has arrived. Of course, your Excellency. [hanging up phone] He will receive you shortly, sire. Please be seated.
+
A middle-aged Caucasian man dressed in business attire exits the lift shortly afterwards. The reception staff and others in the lobby stand to attention.
+
RECEPTIONIST: Attention! His Excellency, the Lord of Public Relations!
+
WEST:[bowing deeply] Michael of house West, Lord of Public Relations, Count of GrubHub, at your service. Welcome, O esteemed and noble envoy Gonzales, to our Company.
+
GONZALES:[bowing] A pleasure, Count… West. I look forward to a successful relationship between our Found - our organisations.
+
WEST: Zoller & Sons is always willing to enter partnerships with companies of strength and honour, sire. You have been granted the privilege of an audience with His Majesty himself - please follow me.
+
Both men enter the lifts and West swipes an access card for the 24th floor.
+
WEST: I have read of your business in your emails and your website, but I have not heard of your Society in the annals of Wall Street or Bloomberg, which an officer of my position must read regularly, of course.
+
GONZALES: The PCS provides corporate services for clients with… esoteric business models, non-mainstream interests and so on, such as yourselves.
+
WEST: How do you mean? We are a great and eminent Company, but no different from the Warburgers or the Carlyles in our business.
+
GONZALES: No, your - all this - nobility and kings, this makes your business unique, no?
+
WEST:(laughs) How else to run a Company? I hope you are not referring to the strange ideas of Europe - we have very fine employees, but any fool can see they are not fit for self-management. You surely believe in the Market-anointed right of your own liege lord?
+
GONZALES: Well, uh, we are a non-profit.
+
WEST: Ah, you non-profiters, very - excuse me, we have arrived.
+
The lift doors open and both men exit into a corridor, stopping outside a double-doored meeting room. Two guards in security attire with holstered firearms and wielding long security batons decorated with tassels are flanking the door, who stand to attention on approach.
+
WEST: His Majesty will receive you shortly. I trust you have experience in courtly manners.
+
GONZALES: I wouldn't want to cause any offence to His Majesty. Is there anything important I should know? Different kingdoms, different customs, you know.
+
WEST:(sighs) Well, one cannot expect those without ancient lineage to… you must address His Majesty correctly, of course, speak only when prompted, avoid mention of your quarterly figures, pay respect to your own liege without insinuating any supremacy. You do bring tribute, I hope?
+
Dr Gonzales opens his briefcase to show a bottle of red wine.
+
WEST: Where did you get this? Where is it from?
+
GONZALES: It's a Bordeaux red, not the most expensive, I admit, but a decent drop -
+
WEST: Thank the Dow. I feared it was a Napa Valley - we had a skirmish with the vile Claytonites over one of the producers there this February - it would have been perceived as a grave insult. We shall both keep our heads, my friend. Come.
+
He opens the doors to a large conference room with approximately 20 people in business attire present. SCP-4985-1 sits at the far end of the conference table.
+
WEST: O most illustrious and noble King of Zoller, by the Grace of the Dow, beloved of the shareholders, I present to you the respected Lord Gonzales, a Senior V-P of the Public Corporate Society, who comes to pay respects to your royal person and our Kingdom.
+
GONZALES: Greetings, your noble Majesty. My, uh, lord and master has sent me to establish relations with your organisation.
+
SCP-4985-1: Normally I would have the Count here handle matters with a minor realm such as yours, but your audacity in seeking an audience intrigues me. We are one of the mightiest investment companies south of Wall Street, victors of a hundred mergers and acquisitions. Tell me, sir, what is to stop me from asset-stripping your little Company here and now, which does not even have a NASDAQ listing?
+
GONZALES: Your Majesty, we are small, but we are more than you may assume - we have close relations with the United States government, and -
+
Agitation amongst the courtiers.
+
COURTIER: A Commission spy!
+
Shouting of insults towards 'Federals' and 'regulators'.
+
SCP-4985-1: Silence! A spy would not enter our front gates and announce himself so brazenly. Sir, you tread dangerous ground. We are no heretics here - we recognise the spiritual authority of Washington and pay our tithes - but now is a low ebb for temporal and spiritual relations. The poisonous words of Dodd and Frank have even caused rumours of schism. The last Commission visitors made outrageous demands, and it did not end well for them.
+
GONZALES: You misunderstand, your Majesty. We have relations with the government, but have altogether a different mission. We would like to prevent your company from coming under too much scrutiny, from the government, the public, or otherwise. We know the FBI has taken an interest in your affairs -
+
Angry shouting from the courtiers resumes; SCP-4985-1 holds up a hand to silence them.
+
GONZALES: - and would like to, ah, divert some of this attention.
+
SCP-4985-1: An intriguing proposal. I would discuss this with you further. All but the Duke Yankee Candle and Count GrubHub, leave us.
+
<TRANSCRIPT ENDS>
+
+
Addendum 4985-2: Over several negotiating sessions in the following month, an agreement was reached between SCP-4985 and the Foundation regarding Foundation concealment of their anomalous activity in exchange for partial cooperation. The Treaty of the Hamptons4 contains the following provisions;
+
+
Establishment of a permanent Foundation embassy
+
Non-interference of SCP-4985 in Foundation sub-contractor corporations
+
Divestment of Foundation assets from CD&R
+
Non-aggression between SCP-4985 and the Foundation
+
Advance notice of SCP-4985 military actions or major financial decisions
+
+
Although ceasing violent actions against other members of the US finance industry was a core Foundation negotiating goal, this was unsuccessful given the perception of SCP-4985 of this as a threat to its independence and prestige. This continues to be an area of containment interest, with a suggestion to revisit this area of negotiations in return for extracting further concessions from Foundation congressional contacts favourable to SCP-4985; this proposal is currently pending Ethics Committee review.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-500 must be stored in a cool and dry place away from bright light. SCP-500 is only allowed to be accessed by personnel with level 4 security clearance to prevent misapplication.
+
Description: SCP-500 is a small plastic can which at the time of writing contains forty-seven (47) red pills. One pill, when taken orally, effectively cures the subject of all diseases within two hours, exact time depending on the severity and amount of the subject's conditions. Despite extensive trials, all attempts at synthesizing more of what is thought to be the active ingredient of the pills have been unsuccessful.
+
+
Note From Dr. Klein:
+SCP personnel below Level 3 are now banned from handling SCP-500. This is not to be used to cure a hangover. Get AIDS and then ask permission.
+
+
Request 500-1774-k
+Dr. [500-0022F] has requested one (1) SCP-500 pill for testing with SCP-038. Request has been approved.
+
Request 500-1862-b
+Dr. Gears has requested one (1) SCP-500 pill for testing in SCP-914. Request has been approved.
+
Request 500-2354-f
+Dr. █████████ has requested one (1) SCP-500 pill for testing with SCP-253. Request denied.
+
Request 500-5667-e
+Dr. Gibbons has requested two (2) pills of SCP-500 for his personal medkit. Request denied.
+
Addendum 500-1: Two (2) pills have been authorized for use with SCP-008. As a result of conducting a series of tests on Class D subjects infected with SCP-008, it appears that even in the most advanced stages of the disease one whole pill will accomplish full recovery. Number of pills is fifty-seven (57) at the time of writing. - Dr. [500-0021D]
+
Addendum 500-2: One (1) pill has been authorized for use with SCP-409. SCP-500 was tested on Subject 409-D5 who was exposed to the effects of SCP-409. Complete recovery accomplished. See Addendum 409-1. Number of pills is fifty-six (56) at the time of writing. - Dr. [500-0021D]
+
Addendum 500-4: Request 500-1774-k approved. Five (5) pills have been used in experimentation with SCP-038. It has been determined that SCP-038 is capable of duplicating SCP-500; however, the success of the duplicated pills is limited. The duplicated pills are only effective in curing the subject 30% of the time, with chance of successful healing dropping as time since cloned increases. In 60% of the cases where the infection is permanent, symptoms of infection remain, though further infestation is neutralized. Repeated dosing with SCP-038 cloned pills is recommended for all personnel suffering from incurable conditions, as supply of SCP-500 remains extremely limited. All five (5) used samples of SCP-500 were returned. Number of pills is fifty-six (56) at the time of writing.
+
Addendum 500-5: During experiments with SCP-038, one (1) pill was stolen by personnel D-██████ to, reportedly, "cure a hangover". Stricter controls for samples of SCP-500 given to other projects is suggested. Personnel D-██████ has been terminated. Number of pills is fifty-five (55) at the time of writing.
+
Addendum 500-6: One (1) pill has been used with SCP-231-4. Number of pills is fifty-four (54) at the time of writing.
+
Addendum 500-7: One (1) pill has been used for Experiment 447-a. Number of pills is fifty-three (53) at the time of writing.
+
Addendum 500-8: One (1) pill has been used with SCP-208. Number of pills is fifty-two (52) at the time of writing.
+
Addendum 500-9: Request 500-1862-b approved. One (1) pill of SCP-500 is placed within SCP-914 with the setting at "Fine". Resulting object classified as SCP-427. Number of pills is fifty-one (51) at the time of writing.
+
Addendum 500-10: Five (5) pills have been taken for the Olympia Project although only two (2) were used. The remaining three (3) will be returned shortly. Upon return, number of pills will be forty-nine (49).
+
Addendum 500-11: Two (2) pills have been used for Experiment 217-█████-█████. Number of pills is forty-seven (47) at the time of writing.
+
Addendum 500-12: Request to have SCP-500 investigated for mental compulsion leading to obsessive fixation denied for triviality.
Special Containment Procedures: Physical containment of SCP-5054 is irrelevant.
+
Project CRITICAL CURTAIN is in place to modify public perceptions regarding the efficacy of nuclear explosives against organisms from the phylum Eldritch and similar fictional or pataphysical entities. The end goal of CRITICAL CURTAIN is a widespread belief that nuclear devices are capable of killing such entities without consequence. CRITICAL CURTAIN consists of two major strategies for the implementation of this proposal.
+
The first strategy of CRITICAL CURTAIN is that media which depicts phylum Eldritch or similar entities as immune or unharmed by nuclear devices is to be censored to remove such elements. All such media is to be put out of print and replaced with versions which either do not mention the applicability of nuclear bombs against Eldritch organisms or does so in a manner favorable to the overall goals of CRITICAL CURTAIN.
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The second element of CRITICAL CURTAIN is that new media is to be produced in which Eldritch organisms are harmed or killed by nuclear devices. Foundation embeds within the North American film industry are to sponsor content that portrays such interactions in a manner favorable to CRITICAL CURTAIN. Similar protocols are to take place in global book publishing markets and in other similar media markets.
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If the current goals of CRITICAL CURTAIN are unsuccessful, information about the phylum Eldritch is to be disseminated to the mainstream scientific research. This is only to be done if CRITICAL CURTAIN is unable to sufficiently influence public opinion through the influence of media, and would constitute a partial Lifted Veil Scenario. A focus is to be made on such organisms' lack of inherent defenses against radiation or massive explosive forces, which would make them vulnerable to death following a nuclear explosion.
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SCP-5054-Positive subject was asked to draw any object of their liking on a sheet of notebook paper.
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Description: SCP-5054 is a sapient concept capable of modifying itself. Examples of past concepts that SCP-5054 has taken the form of1 are "the bitter taste of watermelon", "6711 miles above sea level", and "the red American Pine tree".
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Aside from self-modification, the main anomalous property of SCP-5054 is the control it asserts over sapient entities who know of it. Exposure to SCP-5054 from another person who is infected with SCP-5054 may cause the infection to spread to other sapient entities. Curiously, SCP-5054 is only capable of affecting a set number of sapient entities at a given time. This number is not known exactly, but is believed to be between 300 and 400. If SCP-5054 infects a new entity above its limit, one entity already affected will completely forget SCP-5054.
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SCP-5054 affects conscious behavior, often involving long-term decision making. For example, SCP-5054 may cause someone to quit their job and start their own business. Infected entities will justify their actions as being normal, even if the action does not align with their usual behavior.
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SCP-5054 refers to itself as "P" or "Mr. P". The reason for this is unclear.
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History: The origin of SCP-5054 is unknown, and evidence suggests the anomaly predates the Foundation. Prior to 1992, SCP-5054 did not compel infected entities to perform especially noteworthy actions. Research into this area has been suspended due to the impossibility of documenting all entities that have hosted SCP-5054.
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Starting in 1992, SCP-5054-affected humans began to take much more drastic actions. Most notably, several infected civilians attempted to form the "Idaho Defense Group", a task force dedicated to building anomalous weapons in the event of a hostile extraterrestrial incursion. See documentation for Incident 5054-Delta for more information.
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As of CRITICAL CURTAIN, SCP-5054 has reverted to being less active in regards to the anomalous.
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Additional Notes: A reliable test to determine if a person is infected with SCP-5054 is to present them with two visually identical objects. One object should be laced with a cognitohazardous agent which makes the viewer decide against it, while the other object is to be kept mundane. SCP-5054 has demonstrated not only an immunity to cognitohazards but the inability to recognize them. In order to assure that SCP-5054-infected entities do not avoid positive identification by luck, this test should be administered at least ten times, with different sets of objects.
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SCP-5054 has demonstrated knowledge of the Foundation, the anomalous, and several groups of interest, as SCP-5054 refuses to infect their members.
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Sapience Testing
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Researcher Note:Some members of the Research Team have pushed to reclassify SCP-5054 as Explained. Their theory is that SCP-5054 is simply the human desire to change, and that the current method of testing can be explained as an immunity to cognitohazards, which we have observed before. The fact that SCP-5054 seems to be more active as of late poses an opportunity to test this postulate.
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I've devised a method of communicating with SCP-5054 through its affected entities. The entity should be given a keyboard, and asked to type whatever full sentences they’d like. In addition, in order to send our communications to the entity, we can use subliminal techniques (re: Document 5054-NINJA) to embed messages into the subject’s headspace.
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We haven’t had success with this method in the past. However, given SCP-5054’s apparent new sense of urgency, this should produce more salient results, and put any silly theories away for good.
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- Rsr. Daniels, 1993-02-10
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INTERVIEW LOG
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Interviewer: SCP-5054 Research Team
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Interviewee: SCP-5054
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Foreword: This interview was conducted over the course of several weeks. Several SCP-5054-Positive subjects were identified and coerced into participating in the procedures described above, under the cover story of the study of a new drug regimen. For readability purposes, the weeks-long study is formatted as an interview log.
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<Begin Log>
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RT: Hello. Can you understand us? In front of you is a keyboard. When we ask you a question, we need you to reply by typing out your response.
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SCP-5054: Yes, I understand you. Is this working?
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RT: That's fine. Do you have a name we can call you?
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SCP-5054: My name is P. Why are you talking to me?
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RT: Over the past 30 years, you have been relatively benign. Now, you seem to be trying to do something. You created the Idaho Defense Group and launched that rocket. Can you explain what you're doing?
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SCP-5054: I'm trying to help you for once.
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RT: What do you mean?
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SCP-5054: I saw some pretty big monsters, and they threaten my livelihood. I'm taking them out while I can, because you obviously won't.
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RT: What kind of monsters?
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SCP-5054: It’s hard to describe. Large. Very very large. Green tentacles that poke out from places. Multiple colors per pixel; like purple and white and blue squished inwards. Also, lots of eyes.
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At this point, Site-19 command orders the research team to end communications, due to suspected (now confirmed) instances of information classified above their clearance level.
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<End Log>
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It is unknown how SCP-5054 discovered information regarding the Eldritch phylum2. Although it is possible that SCP-5054 discovered Eldritch on its own, it is most likely that SCP-5054 read data dumped from the partial SCiPNET database leak on 1991-09-22. Containment priority for SCP-5054 has been updated to Red.
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Incident 5054-Delta
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The Calvin-Bortsborough device constructed by SCP-5054.
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Preceding Events: At this point, SCP-5054 had been evading complete containment for two years. Identifying and containing SCP-5054-affected entities proved difficult due to the flexibility and contagiousness of SCP-5054. Several minor incidents had occurred up to this point, including the mailing of letter bombs to Foundation personnel involved with the study of Eldritch and the attempted construction and deployment of a Scranton Reality Anchor in New York City.
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Description: Several entities affected by SCP-5054 worked together over the course of three months to assemble a Calvin-Bortsborough device. If properly constructed, this device would have been able to eliminate the entire population of the order Octopoda and its close relatives. It is unknown how SCP-5054 discovered the mechanics of the Calvin-Bortsborough device. Several machining tools were found in the basement where the device was kept, presumably used in its construction.
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However, due to a misunderstanding of some of the secondary components of a functional Calvin-Bortsborough device, it was only partially activated. It is estimated that over 300,000 Octopoda casualties took place over the next five minutes, including many specimens in captivity. Personnel at the nearby Site-12 identified the source of the anomaly as a house in Orlando, Florida. All involved SCP-5054-positive entities surrendered themselves after being confronted by armed personnel.
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Due to the lack of close observation of Octopoda specimens outside of certain circles, a cover story was not released. Civilians who notice the anomalous drop in Octopoda population are to be given amnestics on a case-by-case basis.
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Project CRITICAL CURTAIN
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Information below is considered CLASSIFIED by order of the Project Head and HMCL Supervisor for SCP-5054. Viewing this document without Level 3 Clearance or valid T-1320 authorization is considered a breach of Foundation contract, punishable by permanent expulsion from all Foundation duties and clearances.
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Project CRITICAL CURTAIN Progress
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ONGOING — OVERALL SUCCESS
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Media featuring the Eldritch phylum being destroyed by nuclear weaponry is being continually produced and distributed.
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Media depicting otherwise has been suppressed.
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As of 1996-03-22, SCP-5054 appears to have desisted from overtly anomalous activity.
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In order to assert these results, Project CRITICAL CURTAIN will remain in operation. Containment priority for SCP-5054 has been downgraded to Green.
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SEMINAR TRANSCRIPT
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Source: Rsr. Calvin's seminar on new containment procedures for SCP-5054
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Date: 1996-04-03
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<Begin Log>
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Good afternoon, SCP-5054 research team.
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I hope everyone has a copy of the report for Incident 5054-Delta in your hands right now. You can— what, you don't? The research assistant in front should have… Listen, I assure you, nothing in that report is above Level 1 clearance, let alone Level 3. I wouldn't let the research assistants handle it if it wasn't. Could you… yes, just share with the person next to you. Thank you.
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Anyways, the report. You can see SCP-5054, known informally as "Mr. P", coerced numerous civilians into constructing a Calvin-Bortsborough device. There should be a photograph on the next page.
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Now, the question that puzzled me the most— as well as you, I presume— is "why octopi?" From what we can tell from interviews and supplemental evidence, Mr. P was trying to attack the Eldritch phylum. So why was he going after the octopi?
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I'm sorry, it's actually "octopuses". Thank you, Dr. Midaeus.
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Mr. P wasn't being cooperative in terms of containment, so interviewing it again was out of the question. After some time, we had an epiphany. Do specimens of Eldritch— the ones we know about— look like octopuses? No. But, by accident, we've spread propaganda saying that they do. Hollywood has produced dozens of movies telling us that Cthulhu is a big, green, scary octopus.
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This tells us something about Mr. P, too: although it may not be susceptible to our standard cognitohazards, just like you or me, it's affected by cultural memes. Thus, we've put our resources towards creating a cultural meme that tells Mr. P: "Hey. We've got this. We can nuke Cthulhu. Don't worry about it."
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If it turns out Mr. P's right, and that the Eldritch are actually a threat… truth be told, I think we'll have bigger problems.
See my Author Page for more information. If you like reading my stuff, consider checking out my YouTube Channel for SCP-inspired animations, among other things.
Special Containment Procedures: Observations of the star system HD 44219 on the internet are to be monitored and expunged by Foundation Webcrawlers. Published papers on observed anomalous activity are to be confiscated, and involved individuals dosed with Class-G amnestics.
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Description: SCP-5334 is a gaseous planet orbiting the star HD 44219, approximately 164 light years from Earth. SCP-5334 is roughly three-fifths the mass of Jupiter and is non-anomalous in composition, size, shape, or position. It orbits its host star at ~1.2 AU,1 and possesses a single moon and ring system.
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SCP-5334's ring system is composed of ~2.7 billion glass bottles each containing various alcoholic beverages. Analysis of recovered bottles during an FTL Anomalous Exoplanet Survey suggest they are at least 800 years old, and each bottle's alcohol content is exceptionally high, ranging from 40-70%. The bottles have no discernible markings or identifying characteristics besides damage caused by micro-impacts.
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Approximately once every 200 days, roughly 20,000 to 150,000 glass bottles will spontaneously disappear from the ring system. Following this, SCP-5334 will undergo multiple erratic alterations to its orbit, deviating as wildly as 20 degrees from its stable configuration.2 These erratic alterations will slowly become less prominent, and will eventually result in SCP-5334 returning to its original orbital path.
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Addendum
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Twenty-seven years after the anomaly was first observed, it underwent a radical change in behavior. The relevant logs have been attached below.
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DATE: October 5th, 2020, 1:42 UTC.
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NOTE: SCP-5334 had undergone a regular disappearance event only 54 days prior.
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[BEGIN LOG]
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[00:00:00] | Approximately 50,000 bottles disappear from SCP-5334's ring. Despite this, SCP-5334 appears unaffected, and continues in its projected orbit.
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[00:07:34] | SCP-5334 slows significantly, but otherwise does not change.
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[01:19:42] | SCP-5334's moon begins to display erratic behavior, its orbit changing radically (up to 70 degrees from normal). It appears to accelerate and decelerate at random intervals.
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[02:23:03] | SCP-5334 begins to slowly increase its speed over the next fourteen hours to match its prior conditions. Its moon continues to behave in a chaotic manner, and its distance increases from its host planet as time goes on.
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[03:12:47] | The moon, now 150% farther than its usual distance, immediately begins accelerating towards SCP-5334 at roughly 30km/s2, causing minor deformations on its surface.
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[03:16:22] | SCP-5334 begins to accelerate away from its moon. SCP-5334's moon continues to accelerate as well, deforming its shape.
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[04:01:02] | The moon (being faster due to its lower mass) passes the mean distance of its original orbit. SCP-5334 significantly deforms due to increasing acceleration; the moon does so as well.
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[04:13:17] | SCP-5334's moon enters its host's Roche Limit, and soon after attempts to change direction to move perpendicularly. Despite these attempts, the moon continues to accelerate rapidly towards SCP-5334.
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[04:17:54] | The moon begins to break apart due to tidal forces and gravity, and no longer displays any anomalous movements. SCP-5334's acceleration slows, removing deformities.
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[04:19:09] | SCP-5334's moon disintegrates and falls into the planet.
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[04:20:00–07:15:00] | No activity.
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[07:15:04] | Every bottle of alcohol in the ring system disappears. SCP-5334 ceases movement.
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[END LOG]
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SCP-5334's orbital path has decayed since the incident, and if no further anomalous activity is detected, will likely fall into its host star by 2023. Reclassification to Neutralized is pending.
The following article is a part of the And Every Time We Meet Again storyline. Whilst you can read it on its own, it's highly recommended you read the previous installments to get this article in its fullest.
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Image Sources:
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The Site-120 logo used in the header was created by EstrellaYoshte for the purpose of all articles regarding such. Please check out more of their absolutely stellar work here.
From:O5-9
+To: All Personnel
+Subject:IMPORTANT: Overwatch Command Compromised
+Date: 23/05/1985
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On the night of the 23rd of May, Overwatch Command and the O5 Council were lost. It was a long-standing plot orchestrated by a long-known Foundation enemy, Damien Nowak, and the lead of the investigation chasing him, Daniel Asheworth, previously a Foundation doctor, now a declared traitor. The event destroyed Site-01 up during the Council's summit in a ritual we could not have seen coming. There were no survivors.
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I was the only one lucky enough to not attend due to work reasons. As the only remaining Council member left, I hereby declare myself the new Administrator of the SCP Foundation until further command structures can be rebuilt.
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With the more easily reachable party responsible for the attack already dead, I promise on my honor I will personally bring that terrorist to justice. You have my word.
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I'm truly sorry I couldn't have done more.
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— O5-9
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One of the entry tunnels leading into SCP-5672 during an activation event, manifesting a simple self-initiated thaumaturgic ritual.
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Special Containment Procedures: As the chance of SCP-5672's discovery by non-Foundation individuals is nonexistent, containment is entirely unnecessary.
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During activation events, Site-120 personnel are permitted to use Site portals to access the anomaly and use it to train their thaumaturgic capabilities between 01:00 and 23:00 hours of the day of the activation. Should they fail to abide by this time schedule and fall victim to the non-activation event incapacitation, no rescue is to be initiated.
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Description: SCP-5672 is a cavern system located underneath Stargard, Poland, which only exists within baseline reality on a single day, 23/05, each year.
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During that day, for 24 hours, the thaumaturgic sensitivity within a 1-kilometer radius is greatly increased, easing and empowering the usage of any thaumic rituals compared to other locations on the planet. Due to this, the entire cave system has shown the ability to self-initiate simple thaumaturgic rituals on its own in the past.
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Though over the past years, numerous reports by Foundation staff were given regarding SCP-5672 possessing numerous caves filled with ancient ruins and unidentified corpses near its lower levels, due to the nature of the anomaly, no conclusive research regarding this has been conducted so far.
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Discovery: The Foundation was aware of SCP-5672's existence — or at least the existence of a similar construct near its location — before Site-120's founding on 02/05/1916 due to its existence in local legends and fairytales. Only after one of the translated SCP-5292-1 instances revealed its exact location in 1982 did the Foundation engage with it, discovering the anomaly and classifying it as an SCP object.
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[END OF FILE]
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log-in
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> INITIATING OVERWATCH COMMAND LOGIN PROTOCOL…
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login: O5-9
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> REMEMBER: IMPERSONATING A MEMBER OF THE OVERWATCH COUNCIL IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH.
As requested, I'm sending over SCP-5672's Activation Event Report Log taken directly from Dr. Asheworth's body camera following the acquiring of his clothing by my brother, during his mission "to finally end the case," as he put it. Additionally, the body you requested should arrive within your office within two days' time.
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Please see attached file for the full log.
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I wish I had known him more. Maybe then we could have understood before it was too late. I am truly sorry I hadn't done more to help.
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Sincerely,
+— Magdaleine Cornwell
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> ONE (1) ATTACHED FILE AVAILABLE. OPEN?
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yes
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> ACCESSING…
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Date: 22/05/1985
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Exploration Team: Rogue Mobile Task Force Theta-120 ("Tyrfing Black")1
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Subject: SCP-5672
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Team Lead: Dr. Asheworth
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Team Members: Dr. Rivera, Cptn. Cornwell
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Foreword: The following mission was not approved by the Foundation, nor were the appropriate documents that would allow for such a mission to be approved even forwarded to appropriate authorities. As such, all of the following logs depict a rogue mission, entirely undertaken by what is now considered traitors to the Foundation.
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[BEGIN LOG]
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The log starts, revealing a relatively large, dimly lit clay cave, covered in light by numerous transparent orbs of dark orange light floating and moving around the area. Though the entire cavern is mostly intact, around its walls, numerous pictograms and wall paintings showcasing either small humanoids violently murdering taller, winged humanoids with gray weaponry or the same small humanoids standing atop a pile of dark-furred bodies, holding what is presumed to be fire in their hands.
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As Asheworth starts to move forward in the direction the cave is leading to, he suddenly stops, touching his leg in a groan of pain. The camera closes in, showing a wide scar across his knee and thigh, profusely bleeding through a bandage appearing to be made out of leaves, held together by thaumaturgy. Despite this, he ignores the pain and keeps marching on.
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Rivera:<panting, visibly tired:> D-daniel, we can, we can stop, if you need to. I, I can see that you're, bleeding, you kno—
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Asheworth: N-no. No. I won—, won't leave until I get that bastard dead. It ends h-here. It ends n-now.
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Asheworth taps his jeans, revealing he is missing one of his rune gloves, searching for his gun, which he quickly and frantically reloads, pulling his hair back from his face.
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Rivera: But—
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The thaumaturgist aggressively turns back to Rivera, his eyes visibly tired.
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Asheworth: It. Ends. Here.
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The two start to run again, with a third, slightly armored person holding a heavy assault rifle joining them from behind them — Captain Jeremy Cornwell is visibly less tired, but still panting.
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Cornwell: How much do we have left this time?
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Asheworth: Plus-minus 23 hours, or… or until sunset.
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Cornwell: W-What? Why the, the hurry then, for god's sake?
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Asheworth: I—
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The team enters through from the cave into a large balcony-like structure located in the top regions of an extremely large cave, with a big, relatively shallow lake in its middle. A small stream of water is dripping into it from the cave's ceiling. Stopping the running for a moment, Asheworth starts to pant, relatively lowering his stance.
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Asheworth: Within Nowak there's the combined souls of— wait, did you even listen to what we said about the panels in Esterberg?
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Cornwell: The what?
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Asheworth rolls his eyes, aggressively inhaling.
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Asheworth: The goddamned panels in the Grand Temple of 5373 — did you read them?
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Cornwell: No. No I didn't.
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Asheworth sighs.
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Asheworth: Okay, so, long-story-short: there are two ancient entities that are presumably, like, Gods, with capital G. Father, represented by blue, or the God responsible for creation, and the Beast, represented with red, responsible for destroying that creation, over and over, forever.
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Asheworth takes a long breath, during which one of the floating light orbs start to dance around him, merging into larger ones and then coming back to their previous states, rapidly altering between dark yellow, orange, and red light. After repeating this cycle a couple of times, they suddenly disintegrate, with drops of liquid-like essence falling on the floor where they stand, and then getting consumed by the floor. Seconds later, the previously seen murals start to light with light identical to the one emitted by the orbs.
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Asheworth: Years ago, Nowak and I accidentally opened a portal to some sort of reality holding them both, calling parts of their existence to this one. I… I got imbued with Father's, and Nowak got a weird mixture of Father and Beast into him. I… she, I mean Natalie, she got the Beast. But she's long gone. She died the day she got that cursed soul. She…
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As the orbs suddenly leave the murals, they playfully jump upon the heads of the team, starting to emit powerful, blue light. Said murals suddenly disappear, only to reappear on the archway leading to the next part of the cave, in which the lake is located. They do not depict the same imagery as before, this time showcasing a small humanoid standing in the crowd of thousands of furred humanoids and taller humanoids, with his arms extended.
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The murals start to cover the entire smaller cavern, with the floating orbs once again disappearing into the floor, starting to illuminate the pictographs with light, rapidly switching between red and blue. After a while, they sit again atop Asheworth, Cornwell, and Rivera's heads, illuminating the room with blue light. As Asheworth blinks, all the murals disappear.
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Asheworth: Now, almost a decade after it happened, Nowak is trying to release all seals that imprison both Father and the Beast within a… a metaphysical prison, of sorts, wanting to harness their power to bring the land he thinks we stole from the Fae and 1000 back to them.
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He pauses for a second, sighing in the process.
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Asheworth: What he failed to do properly ten years ago he will try to do again today. One of the rituals for breaking one of the seals — the only one I actually know — is extremely hard to recreate, with even the both of us here ten years ago we couldn't have done it properly. But now, he knows how to do it, and he has the power of knowing how to use this cave too. Meaning, he'll most likely break it, unless we intervene. <short pause> What he forgets is that I also know how to use this cave, and I am not going to stand here while he finishes his ritual.
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Asheworth invokes a flame into his hand, reaching the roof of the cave. The orbs fly away from it, only to come back to the MTF a second after the flame stops burning.
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Asheworth: Not until I get him burned again. This time for good.
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Asheworth pauses, looking directly at Cornwell.
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Asheworth: Any questions?
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Cornwell bursts into laughter, looking directly at Asheworth's eyes.
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Cornwell: You serious?
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Asheworth: What?
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Cornwell: That's some top-tier fantasy shit, Asheworth. You got me good for a second.
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Cornwell starts to walk in the direction of the opening leading to the balcony-like structures located within the cave with the lake. As he does so, Asheworth aggressively inhales, visibly frustrated.
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Asheworth: I—
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Rivera: Yes, he's dead serious.
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Cornwell suddenly stops.
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Cornwell: Jesus Ch—, Jesus Christ.
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He inhales quickly, blinking three times.
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Cornwell: I… we have to stop him. Jesus Christ.
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Asheworth and Rivera start to quickly walk towards Cornwell, walking through the threshold separating the two caves together. Doing so, Asheworth groans in pain, grabbing his wound again. He whispers a silent word, and a dim light starts to light around the wound. However, seconds later, it suddenly stops, bringing the wound back to bleeding.
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Asheworth: I'm running dry.
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Rivera: What?
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Asheworth: I'm too tired to cast anything. Even here, even now.
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Rivera kneels, lowering her level to match Asheworth's.
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Rivera:<quietly:> We can. You know. Stop here. I understand it's—
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Asheworth: N-No. I said, it ends here, and I mean it.
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Rivera: But—
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Asheworth:<whispering:> Please. Let me have this much. I… I need to end this, please. I need to.
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Rivera sighs sadly, reloading her gun and blinking three times. Her eyes suddenly turn all white. As she stands up, she sharply inhales with her nose, snapping her fingers and starting to walk towards the stone balcony.
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Asheworth and Cornwell follow shortly after, with the light bulbs still sitting atop their heads, though stopping to emit light the moment they enter the second cave.
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As the trio enters into the cavern with the lake, they notice approximately three hundred numerous humanoid entities standing around the water, with Nowak being the focus of their attention. He quietly murmurs something to himself, looking at a large book within his hands.
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Around the walls of the cavern, ruined pillars and walls, built in an architectural style not native to human history can be seen. They are seemingly a part of the cave, yet stand out as artificial buildings, blending into their surroundings. Around the walls, numerous dried-up bodies of Fae can be seen, whose faces are contorted in varying degrees of abject terror, seemingly still looking at something. Surrounding them are numerous half-destroyed containers, stocked until the ceiling of the cave. A buried staircase can also be seen in the vicinity.
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Asheworth: Oh Jesus Christ.
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Rivera: What?
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Asheworth: It's a war shelter.
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Cornwell: W-What do you mean?
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Asheworth: It's… it's where they hid. From us, when we came to murder them.
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Rivera: Us?
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Asheworth: All of humanity. During the First Diaspora.
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Rivera: I…
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As Rivera looks at the bodies, she groans in pain, gently touching her head. Her face suddenly turns into an expression of horror.
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Rivera:<whispering:> There were millions of them, Daniel. We murdered millions.
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She pauses, looking dreadfully at her own hands.
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Rivera:<quietly:> Why? Why is he here, even? Why bring your followers to the literal tomb of their families?
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Asheworth sighs.
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Asheworth: It's a sanctuary to humanity's sins, Jessie. Where better to bring a mob that needs an excuse to murder than here?
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Rivera: I…
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Asheworth: They need closure — they and us, I mean. And where better than a place where it began, for both of us? I mean, that's where their cause started, the day we started killing them, and that's when our cause started, the day we opened that portal.
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Asheworth groans in pain, once again looking at the wound on his leg. Seconds later, he looks at Cornwell, who is standing slightly in the back, panting in tiredness, observing Nowak beneath them.
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Asheworth: Does everyone know what they're doing?
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The two remaning members of the team nod.
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Asheworth: Let's go, then.
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Asheworth walks up onto the edge of the stone balcony, snapping his fingers.
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Asheworth: We end it here.
+
As he takes a step that would normally make him fall into the floor located 10 meters below him, suddenly, a stone slab appears underneath his foot. He continues walking, speeding up, and beneath his moving feet, stone structures spontaneously appear. The two remaining members of the MTF do the same, and seconds later, they are located at the bottom of the cave beneath them, standing near the banks of the lake. Taking the final step onto the floor, Asheworth trips over, falling on his wound.
+
Asheworth:<looking directly at the shocked Nowak:> Hi.
+
The entire mob becomes immediately angered, rushing over at the trio. Seconds later, Rivera closes her eyes, and a telekinetic protection field forms around Asheworth and Nowak and her and Cornwell. Though the group standing around them tries to break through it, their attempts are met with failure — however, with each hit on the barrier, Rivera becomes visibly more distressed.
+
Nowak:<backing off a little:> What— what is this supposed to mean?!
+
Asheworth comes forward, nearer Nowak, as half of the light bulbs on his head teleport onto Nowak's, starting to burn with a bright red.
+
Asheworth: Me getting closure.
+
Asheworth lunges at Nowak, with a previously hidden knife suddenly showing in his hand. He slashes at his head, only slightly damaging Nowak's cheek, which starts to bleed.
+
Nowak knocks Asheworth down onto the floor, with the colors of the lights coming from atop their heads starting to violently clash as they mix into purple. As Asheworth punches Nowak in the face with a quick right punch, it convulses as a yellow light bashes into its surface. Nowak spits a tooth out, and proceeds to charge at Asheworth, who is focusing on his hand, forming a flame within it. Asheworth pants quickly, trying to hold a breath, and meets Nowak's charge, bashing him with his elbow.
+
Nowak quickly overpowers Asheworth, grabbing his arm and breaking it half-spell. The thaumaturge screams in pain as Nowak steps on the palm of his second hand with his boot, tearing Asheworth's remaining glove to shreds. Though he tries to knock Nowak's left leg with his right one, trying to bring him to his level, Damien quickly regains his balance, touching the ground, from which a long blade appears. He punches Asheworth with his elbow in the face as he stands up, making him fall on his back, motionless.
+
Nowak: Daniel Asheworth, traitor. Have you any last words?
+
Nowak puts the edge of the blade next to Asheworth's neck, looking directly into his eyes, showing he had already surrendered. The blade starts to burn with a red and blue light — as do the light bulbs on Nowak's head — showcasing runes that weren't previously there, making Asheworth groan in pain as his right cheek gets burned by the temperature the blade starts to emit. He sighs, and looks down.
+
Asheworth: No. Not yet.
+
Asheworth suddenly dashes to his left, dodging the blade, and then lunges forward, towards Nowak, revealing a gun within his hand. Nowak backs off from sheer shock, tripping on one of the pieces of ruin located next to him.
+
Asheworth fires three bullets, each hitting Nowak's chest, one after the other. The body turns motionless, but he continues to fire seven more until his gun is empty. The light bulb on Nowak's head suddenly stops burning, turning motionless too.
+
Rivera looks at him in disbelief, as her eyes turn from white to purple again, breaking the barrier around both her and Cornwell and the one around Asheworth. The mob around it rushes at the team, trying to grab them, with the light bulbs within the cave suddenly turning all red — the ones on the heads of the team remain blue, but their light is starting to get consumed by the red one. Around them, a man in a red suit suddenly appears, hidden by the light; as he snaps his fingers, the three ex-Foundation employees vanish, leaving undecipherable runes around their previous location marks, just as the group of Nowak's followers is about to attack them.
+
The man looks directly into the camera, revealing a red blink within his eye. He grins, whispering "Three down, two to go." and proceeds to walk away from the coat on which the camera is located.
+
Seconds later, the device gets stepped on by one of the bystanders, rendering it useless. The feed cuts shortly after.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Ending Statement: Though a complex search mission was initiated shortly after the feed was cut by Foundation employees that arrived on-site, not a single member of MTF Theta-120 was found within. The only entity present within was the motionless body of Damien Nowak, dead, with no chance of recovery. Said body is currently being shipped to Overwatch Command as per O5-9's request.
+
Further study is ongoing.
+
+
+
+
delete-files
+
> ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE THIS E-MAIL FROM ALL FOUNDATION DATABASES?
The most famous photograph of SCP-5786. Photo features former President Abraham Lincoln’s wife with an unusually detailed instance of SCP-5786 in the background, circa 18701
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawlers are patrolling image hosting and social media sites to locate and delete images of SCP-5786. Images of SCP-5786 gaining widespread attention will be debunked as an edited image or a development error by coverup agents.
+
In the event of an SCP-5786 instance becoming corporeal, all individuals who were present at the event shall be given a convincing cover story. Usage of Class-C Amnestics and lower is authorised. All photographs of SCP-5786 taken at the event are to be destroyed or replaced with doctored versions without SCP-5786.
+
Foundation-owned media outlets will periodically publish articles and fund advertisements describing the superiority of digital cameras over traditional film cameras. When possible, markets will be manipulated to make digital cameras more affordable.
+
Description: SCP-5786 are incorporeal humanoid entities that become visible when captured in photographs taken using any variety of camera film.
+
SCP-5786 instances range in transparency, colour, and form. The majority are near-invisible, featureless, and only vaguely humanoid. Some are much more distinct, even bearing recognisable facial features. Interviewed civilians who took photographs of particularly defined SCP-5786 stated a perceived resemblance between the instances and recently deceased family members.
+
SCP-5786 are always captured in photographs of events with sentimental significance, most frequently appearing during weddings, funerals, graduations, birthdays and baby showers. SCP-5786 instances are more likely to appear in photographs taken soon after the death of a close friend or family member, with appearances declining from then on.
+
Instances of SCP-5786 appear next to or between people in the photograph, often attempting to hug or otherwise interact with them. Individuals who have been close to SCP-5786 recall feeling sensations of warmth from an unknown source.
+
Rarely, SCP-5786 instances have become temporarily tangible and visible to the naked eye, primarily during funerals or shortly after a death. These manifestations will disappear shortly after.
+
Addendum: An SCP-5786 instance became fully visible inside of a chapel on 12/01/21 during the funeral of Wilbur Brooke. The attendees fled and the instance dematerialised shortly after the arrival of law enforcement. The subsequent Foundation coverup was successful.
+
Foundation Agents recovered the following text written on the back of the funeral programme of Wilbur’s son, Jack Brooke. The handwriting was near illegible.
+
+
I remember when I saw you just after you were born. Your cute little hands squeezed my fingers and I knew I wouldn't ever leave you.
+
When you were three, we started putting aside money for your university. Even then I had the feeling that you were a smart cookie.
+
You were ten when I got the diagnosis. I knew I would have to pull through for you and Melinda.
+
My heart stopped beating the same day that you got accepted into your dream university. My biggest regret is not living long enough to hug you and tell you how proud I was. How proud I still am.
+
Now here you are, a proper man, ready to face the world.
+
I have to go now, but you're going to do big things, Jackie.
+And I'll be here to watch them.
Special Containment Procedures: The Rhodes Plaza Mall has been bought and repurposed into Site-86. A pair of guards are stationed at each entrance. No food is to be brought inside SCP-5847.
+
Description: SCP-5847 is the food court of the Rhodes Plaza Mall in Newcastle, Australia. It has two main anomalous effects.
+
The first is that whenever a subject consumes food inside SCP-5847, it will morph into SCP-5847-1, a courtroom. SCP-5847-1 is fully populated by SCP-5847-2, which are sapient, animate foods resembling their non-anomalous counterparts in appearance but with the ability to anomalously perceive, vocalize, and locomote1. It has been hypothesized from recordings that all SCP-5847-2 instances inside SCP-5847-1 are food the subject has eaten throughout their life.
+
Once inside SCP-5847-1, the subject is transformed into a near facsimile of their previous appearance, but composed of what appears to be a thick cake icing. They must then defend the fact they eat food to a large piece of sugar candy. The only two rulings observed, have been that the subject is not guilty and free to go wherein SCP-5847-1 morphs back into SCP-5847, or that the subject is guilty of "crimes against Humunchkind" and is sentenced to death wherein an Execucumber will consume the subject whole.
+
The secondary effect of SCP-5847 is a memetic effect affecting anyone inside the courtroom that causes them to unintentionally replace words they say with the names of foods.
+
Addendum 5847-1 Transcription of security camera footage from a trial held inside SCP-5847-1:
+The following was recovered from a security camera set up in SCP-5847. For readability, the instances colloquial names have been used in place of SCP-5847-22.
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
+
[SCP-5847 is seen morphing into SCP-5847-1.]
+
+Bailoaff: Please baguette to your seat defondant.
+
+Defondant: Why do you think you can boss me around ya big loaf?
+
+Bailoaff: Heh, I'm the yeast of your worries.
+
+[The Bailoaff smacks the defondant on his back]
+
+Bailoaff: Soy I'll say it again, sit down.
+
+Defondant: Fine, but stop doughing that, you're starching to get on my nerves. Wait, what?
+
+[A Tomattorney sits down beside the defondant.]
+
+Tomattorney: Don't worry about it. That just kind of happens here. You'll get couscoused to it.
+
+Defondant: Who are you vanilla exctractly?
+
+Tomattorney: Oh right! Nice to meat you, I've been assigned as your public defence arugalawyer.
+
+Bailoaff: All rise for the honorable Fudge Hershey!
+
+Fudge: Now, lettuce get this underwhey. Defondant, what is your name?
+
+Defondant: I yam Josh.
+
+Fudge: Josh, you stand before a jury of your pears, and by that I mean pears you've eaten throughout your life, to defend the fact you have killed and eaten so many of us before. Let's start with your opening arguments.
+
+Defondant: I know this is hard to hear, but I promise I only ever ate any of you to stay achive!
+
+[The Procharcuterie gets up from the plaintiff's table.]
+
+Procharcuterie: Today I will convince you that Josh not only ate many of us, but ate us with delicious intent!
+
+[The jury gasps]
+
+Procharcuterie: I'd like to call a wheatness to the stand.
+
+[An egg rolls up to the stand]
+
+Procharcuterie: Hello Ms. Sunny Sydup. You all know Sunny as the Hard-Boiled cop who keeps our streets safe, but did you know Ms. Sydup was brutally attacked and eaten by Josh a while back when- well, omelet Sunny tell you about it.
+
+Sunny: My memory of the event might be a little scrambled since it was pretty traumatic but I'll tell the story as well as I can remember. It was early in the morning when that deviled man kidnapped me and my fellow eggs. We could tell he was carton us off to his murder room3. Once we were there, we tried to hash things out with him but he wouldn't listen. Things started to heat up, literally, he threw us into a pan on top of some bread. That's when I knew, I was french toast!
+
+Procharcuterie: As you can see, Josh didn't just use Ms. Sydup for sustenance. Josh, did you kale Sunny with the only intent being peanutrition, or did you do it to have a good meal?
+
+Fudge: I'll ask you not to question the defondant at this thyme.
+
+Tomattorney: I would now like to call a wheatness to the stand.
+
+[A bean bounces to the stand]
+
+Tomattorney: Now, Mr. Bean how was your experience with Josh?
+
+Bean: Lima tell it to ya straight, there's nothing mean about Josh. I used to think he happily olived with the fact he kaled and ate us. It wasn't lentil he opened our can and poured us into a bowl that had so mushroom for all of us. I realized Josh cared about our well being too. Now I donut speak for everyone here, but I beleaf Josh is a good guy. He had bean consuming us solely for peanutritional value.
+
+Tomattorney: Purely, for, peanutritional value. Now that doesn't sound like a man who revels in food's grain for his own turkish delight! Josh is a man who only eats us for his own survival. Do you need s'more convincing? There can'talope be any butter evidence than that!
+
+Fudge: One bean's experience does not spleek for all foods. I rule in flavor of the peaple. The defondant is a man who revels in causing food grain and a perpetrator of crimes against Humunchkind. Call in the Execucumber!
+
+Defondant: Crumb on man, I never realized you were all achive! I want to call for an appeel!
+
+[The defondant starts to get up and try and run but the bailoaff stops him.]
+
+Bailoaff: Hey! Romaine in your seat.
+
+Tomattorney: This isn't fair! It hasn't been from the starch! Your Honor, what are you? That's right, fudge. You're way too biased to be a Fudge. You're spicefically crafted to be a treat for humans. It's not Josh's salt his societea has made it so ok to eat us. He should not be blamed for humanitea's shortcomings!
+
+Fudge: This is spaghetting out of hand. I take my rulings berry cerealsly. You cumin my courtroom and flander my name like this? You're out of lime, bailoaff, escort him out.
+
+[The bailoaff grabs the tomattorney and takes it through the back doors.]
+
+Bailoaff: Have fun carrotting in prison.
+
+Tomattorney: You cannut silence us! This is tyranny!
+
+[The execucumber proceeds to consume the defondant. After the defondant has been eaten, the footage abruptly cuts to an empty SCP-5847.]
Special Containment Procedures: Online web crawlers are to monitor for instances of SCP-5906, and remove them from public view. Amnestics are to be appropriately distributed to anyone that viewed an instance. Several copies of SCP-5906 are to be kept in secure video storage.
+
Description: SCP-5906 is an instructional video guide titled "How to perfectly kiss vertically". It randomly manifests on various websites able to support video content. All are labeled as being from an individual or possibly a group of individuals called "XOXO". Efforts to trace them have been unsuccessful.
+
SCP-5906 explains to viewers how to kiss their romantic partners at a perfectly vertical angle by mutilation of their faces. Particularly, it advocates for the removal of a subject's nose. The guide often manifests with English audio, but it has been found dubbed in French, Korean, Chinese, and Japanese.
+
No severe compulsive effects are present in those that view SCP-5906, but all subjects express a sense of enlightenment from direct exposure to it. A few have stated they are also willing to follow SCP-5906's instructions. All subjects fail to recognize the disturbing and dangerous nature of the procedure when informed. Affected individuals cannot spread SCP-5906's anomalous influence, and amnestics are able to treat exposure. The only way to know SCP-5906's contents without being affected by it is through audio, and transcripts of it; see Addendum 02.
+
On 03/12/16, SCP-5906 came to the Foundation's attention when a young couple living in Tokyo, Japan were hospitalized. Subjects had disfigured their faces, and were suffering from shock and blood loss. They reported the cause of their actions to be SCP-5906, which they had viewed online. Several officers of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department were exposed to SCP-5906. Foundation agents stationed in Tokyo were deployed, and enacted containment procedures. An interview with one of the hospitalized couple was performed; see Addendum 01.
+
Addendum 01: Interview Log
+
+
Interview Log 5906
+
Interviewer: Agent Akari Sato
+
Interviewed: Jiro Miyazaki
+
Foreword: The subject had exited from surgery, and was later conscious enough to be questioned by Agent Sato while under sedation. Both spoke the Tokyo dialect of Japanese for the duration of the interview.
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
Agent Sato: Miyazaki-san, can you hear me?
+
Miyazaki: Yes.
+
Agent Sato: Excellent. I like to ask you a few questions, Miyazaki-san. Is that okay?
+
Miyazaki: Manami… [NOTE: Name of the subject's romantic partner. At the time, she was in critical condition, and was being operated on.]
+
Agent Sato: She's fine. Don't worry about her. Please focus on answering my questions for now. Why did you two do this to yourselves?
+
Miyazaki: Not… a bad idea.
+
Agent Sato: Explain to me what do you mean?
+
Miyazaki: Seemed more… romantic. It felt right.
+
Agent Sato: What made it romantic?
+
Miyazaki: For us to (Takes a large breath) love each other aligned.
+
Agent Sato: Aligned? I am not sure if I follow you.
+
Miyazaki: Whole in place. No crookedness. Pure.
+
Agent Sato: What is in place?
+
Miyazaki: Our lips. Hers was so sweet. Sweeter than before… Cursed noses.
+
Agent Sato: What about noses?
+
Miyazaki: Cursed things that bind us from really loving.
+
Agent Sato: Is this conviction formed from the video you watched?
+
Miyazaki: Yes. It was filled with loving truth.
+
Agent Sato: (Sighs) We will have to see about that.
+
Miyazaki: Manami?
+
Agent Sato: Again, she is doing fine.
+
Miyazaki: Can I see her?
+
Agent Sato: Not at this time but you will soon. Thank you for speaking with me. I will leave you to rest.
+
Miyazaki: Wait, if you see her, tell her I can't wait to see her face again.
+
Agent Sato: I will be sure to tell her.
+
[END LOG]
+
Afterword: Agent Sato was going to interview the subject's significant other, Manami Shimakura, but she had expired due to a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Cover story of the couples' injuries was labeled to be the result of a car accident.
+
+
Addendum 02: Transcript of SCP-5906's contents.
+
+
VIDEO LOG
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
Title card is presented, stating "XOXO proudly presents: How to perfectly kiss vertically" in red colored font.
+
Video cuts to a man and a woman in formal attire. Both appear to be of Asian descent, and in their twenties. They have not been able to be identified. The two are seated on a red couch with a table in front of them that is partially out of the frame. The man begins to speak directly at the camera.
+
Unknown Male: Hello everyone. Today, we are going to show you XOXO's1 guide on how to perfectly kiss your spouse vertically. This is a whole new level to have in a romantic relationship since our nose hinders us from it.
+
Unknown Male: Let me ask you this. Have you ever felt cheated that you had to crook your head to the side to kiss your significant other because of your nose? It's like crooking your heart. It's an unnecessary obstacle just to show a loved one affection. It's worse if you have a large nose.
+
Unknown Male: In this guide, we will demonstrate the removal of our nasally bondage. It is the ultimate release and aphrodisiac.
+
Unknown Female: Sure is!
+
Unknown Male: First step, get something sharp to use. (Reaches to the table and is now holding a pair of long scissors.) Any blade will do but scissors are recommended.
+
Woman reaches to the table to acquire scissors herself. She continuously smiles at the camera.
+
Unknown Male: Scissors are perfect since they have two blades for two holes for you to insert them (Lifts nose up to show off nostrils). Other than scissors, you could use the claw of a hammer or even a sharp pencil if you lack a good blade. Once you have something, you can attempt removal.
+
Both individuals raise the scissors up to their faces. The male places the blades into his nostrils before continuing to speak.
+
Unknown Male: Some quick trivia. Did you know studies have found the nose to be the primary cause for all troubles in a relationship? That means without a nose, there would be less to no heartbreak in the world. 10 out 10 people agree. Studies have also found that tilting your head for a kiss does in fact crook the soul. It is also like crossing your fingers during a promise. Anyway, let us resume the guide.
+
The man jams the scissors further up his nostrils. Blood can be seen leaking out. The woman places her nose between the blades of the scissor.
+
Unknown Male: I almost forgot. You will have a bit of a small nosebleed, but once that nose is gone you will never have to worry about that ever again. Have some tissues nearby just in case. Now, closely watch us.
+
The two proceed to remove their noses. They pull at the top of their noses as they cut it. Blood begins to stream down their faces. Subjects do not display any pain responses and perform the procedure without pausing.
+
Upon completion, the subjects throw their severed noses onto the table. Male begins to talk but partially struggles due to blood flowing over his mouth. Woman is smiling at the camera.
+
Unknown Male: Wow, such a release. I feel like a new man (Chuckles).
+
Unknown Female: You have a bit dangling there. (Points at a small piece of the upper cartilage that is hanging from the male subject.)
+
Unknown Male: I will trim it later. (To the camera) Now we will demonstrate the kiss. This is what it looks like to kiss vertically without that pesky nose.
+
The two subjects proceed to kiss each other, smearing blood around their mouths. They press hard on each others' faces. Subjects cease and look at the camera.
+
Unknown Male: See how nice that looks? The absent nose is like a second mouth, which is like getting two kisses at the same time. The folds of freshly cut flesh meet those of your partner as if they will fuse to one another. It feels like being whole. Whole with our newly-made hole. Through our hole. Holes. (Spits out blood)
+
Unknown Female: (Still looking at the camera) So handsome.
+
Unknown Male: It is definitely an attractive new look anyone can have. So pure, so right. Nothing compares to being able to perfectly kiss that special someone vertically and close.
+
The two are silent while staring at the camera for six seconds. Both then proceed to talk to each other.
+
Unknown Male: I wonder why we were ever cursed this way to begin with.
+
Unknown Female: I don't know. Can you imagine?
+
Unknown Male: Maybe if I tried.
+
Unknown Female: Maybe.. It is probably easy, too. That's if we could even imagine at all.
+
Unknown Male: Maybe we don't need to bother with imagining that. All one needs is love in the present as a guide.
+
Unknown Female: Perhaps. Who even cares about the past anymore? Not XOXO, that is for sure.
+
Unknown Male: (Looks at the camera) Thanks for watching this guide. XOXO is happy to help you with your relationships. Until next time, we hope you all have a wonderful life. Goodbye!
+
Unknown Female: Bye!
+
Stock audio of people clapping is played. The camera slowly looks down at the severed noses on the table, and slowly zooms in on them. Briefly one can see the legs of the two subjects move away from the table. Sounds of rushing footsteps could be heard.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Afterword: SCP-5906 ends with red text on a black background. The text reads, "See more guides by XOXO" with a list of supposed guides they have produced. They are titled:
+
+
"How to French kiss with all of your tongue without restrictions"
+
"How to know if your partner is honest through enhanced interrogation techniques for a healthy relationship"
+
"How to actually heat things up in bed"
+
+
These guides have yet to be encountered by the Foundation.
Special Containment Procedures: Relevant disinformation campaigns have been disseminated, and deemed successful. The floor housing SCP-5924 has been closed off from civilian access under the pretense of renovation and maintenance works.
+
Description: SCP-5924 is a biological entity occupying an area of dimensions 4m by 5m on the north-facing wall of floor B3 in the NC Mutual Life Insurance headquarters, Durham, North Carolina, United States. Radiographic analysis indicates that SCP-5924 consists of human flesh, with an interconnected system of veins and arteries which penetrates the concrete behind it. A single motile appendage, measuring 1m long, protrudes from SCP-5924 which ends in a pair of human lips. This appendage frequently opens to vocalize in fluent American English in a masculine tone. Two human ears and eyes, each approximately 30 centimeters wide, are situated asymmetrically on either side of SCP-5924.
+
For unknown reasons, employees1 of the company regard SCP-5924 as unremarkable; its discovery was hence unreported for three weeks2 until a civilian electrician entered the floor for repairs, after which local law enforcement was deployed to inspect the premises. The electrician was amnesticized and embedded agents within the local police precinct declared this as a false alarm.
+
Addendum 3-C: On 06/12/2015, on the day of implementation of SCP-5924's containment procedures, Dr. Lawkind Halls conducted an interview session with SCP-5924 to ascertain the reason for its existence.
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
(Shuffling.)
+
SCP-5924: Manny! Manny? I- is that you, my boy?
+
(A creak.)
+
Dr. Halls: I'm afraid not, sir.
+
SCP-5924: Oh! Oh… I- I'm terribly sorry, mister…?
+
Dr. Halls: Halls.
+
SCP-5924: Halls? I don't ever recount there being halls here-
SCP-5924: Uh… I- I don't really know, Mister Halls. My memory's gettin' a lil' foggy, er… Wallace? I- I think?
+
(Soft scribbling.)
+
Dr. Halls: Mhm. You were calling out for… "Manny"?
+
SCP-5924: Oh, yes! Manny!
+
Dr. Halls: Why do you keep calling out for this person?
+
SCP-5924:(Chuckles.) He's a sweet boy, I tell him.
+
Dr. Halls: How is Manny affiliated with you?
+
SCP-5924:(Tuts.) Don't be cold! I told you, he's a sweet little boy!
+
(Soft scribbling.)
+
Dr. Halls: Right. Do you remember if he was involved in anything that might've… uh, brought you here?
+
(Silence.)
+
SCP-5924: I… guess so. I can't seem to pinpoint it, but it- it just feels… nice. Nice to be told he loves me. In fact, I've been coming here for a while now, so I kind of got close to everyone here! You see? There- there's Andy's seat over there, Harris over there, Janice- oh yes, Janice, sweet woman. Went around helping anyone fussing over numbers! And- and there's-
+
Dr. Halls: Sir, I appreciate your enthusiasm. However, uh… back to Manny.
+
SCP-5924: Ah, yes! Manny! Oh dang it, my memory's just not working right today. Sorry about that. (Chuckles.)
+
(Silence. A cough.)
+
SCP-5924:(Clears throat.) …right. Uhm. I've been looking for Manny to, uh, you know, get to know him better. And- and thank him too.
+
Dr. Halls: So you were here to… thank him?
+
SCP-5924: Yes, yes, the sweet lil' boy. Even sent me one of those… uh, those- those little envelope things on the- the, screen? Those-
+
Dr. Halls: Email?
+
SCP-5924: Yes! Here, I- I'll read it to you. I- I have it here just for reference.
+
(Silence. Moments later, muffled, wet sounds can be heard.)
+
SCP-5924: There we go! Uhm. "Dear Mister Wallace, Happy Birthday! Uh… something, something, - Manny." See? What a sweet boy, I tell ya! It's been a while since there was noise in the house, eh? Even this- yeah, I should thank all of the employees, throw them a sweet little gift, maybe, um- maybe continue to stay here to be their valued customer, y'know?
+
Dr. Halls: May I have a look at that phone?
+
SCP-5924: Sure, Mister Halls!
+
(Several wet sounds. Silence.)
+
Dr. Halls: Sir, may I know if you are short-sighted?
+
SCP-5924:(Chuckles.) Well, I- uh, I would be lying if I said I wasn't.
+
Dr. Halls: …Thank you for answering my questions.
+
SCP-5924: No problem!
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Addendum 3-D: Dr. Halls received a Samsung SGH-A1673 from SCP-5924's appendage. A single email was present in the inbox; its contents have been converted into an electronic copy and attached below for reference.
+
+
Dear Mr. Wallace,
+
Happy Birthday!
+
+
+
The North Carolina Mutual Life Insurance Company would like to extend our gratitude for your continued subscription! Feeling concerned about your future? No worries! On this special occasion, we offer you a 25% additional coverage of your healthcare expenses!
+
+Have a great day!
+
+
+
+
— Manny DeSanchez4
+Employee of NC Mutual Life Insurance, Customer Service
+05/14/2015
Special Containment Procedures: Provisional Outpost-5998 has been constructed around SCP-5998, and should be staffed only by those with strong atheistic beliefs who have not previously expressed religious faith. Any changes observed in SCP-5998's condition should be reported to the Department of Tactical Theology immediately.
+I tried. I did. To make things better than I had.
+Description: SCP-5998 is a desiccated corpse frozen in a kneeling position south of the North Pole, at 86°07'10.6"N, 69°13'10.6"W. The corpse, which was covered by a thick blanket upon discovery, resembles a human with several physical abnormalities (six fingers on each hand, three eyes, bone protrusions emerging from its back). SCP-5998 has not decayed since discovery.
+This world of ancient horrors and distortions in reality is fundamentally broken.
+Disturbance of the corpse results in the formation of Type-I Empyrean entities1. While instances appear to last only minutes before dissipating, they are hostile to any personnel within sight. Instances will attempt to move SCP-5998 away, but are unable to do so before their cessation.
+I gave you Commandments to keep your minds and souls pure.
+Religious personnel attempting to approach the area are subject to nausea, vomiting, and intense feelings of guilt, sorrow, or anger.
+To you, freedom was better than servitude, even if it would lead to your destruction.
+Religious personnel transported forcefully to SCP-5998's near proximity will experience seizures and remain incoherent until removed. Those who are currently non-religious, but have been so in the past, will typically experience a religious reawakening, professing a return to faith.
+I couldn't see what your flawed eyes, those beautiful eyes, could see.
+SCP-5998-1 is a gravemarker comprised of piled stones stacked on top of one another directly in front of the corpse. The gravestone is devoid of any names and dates, bearing instead the following line in English.
+I ignored them and declared my punishments for those who would defy me.
+
+
+
The chains have broken and the fires have been doused.
+
+
+
I see what you see now. Humanity shall decide its own future.
+Discovery: The Foundation discovered SCP-5998 in 1961, after the Department of Tactical Theology had calculated the decreasing effectiveness of various religion-aligned containment procedures. Researchers theorized that an Iscariot Event (The death or cessation of a religiously significant figure) had occurred, and began reviewing global levels of akiva radiation.
+The snow is cold. A familiar feeling.
+In 1963, consistently high levels of ambient radiation around the North Pole drew suspicion, and concentrated searches of the area were undertaken, leading to the discovery of SCP-5998.
+It feels beautiful
+The following events have tentatively been proposed to have been affected by the 5998-Iscariot event.
+
+
The Quiet Revolution in Quebec, Canada.
+
The Communist Party of China's promotion of atheism (as a result of the Cultural Revolution).
+
A renewed interest in German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche's works, as well as the 'Death of God' philosophical movement in the 1960's.
+
Launch of Vostok 1.
+
+
Addendum: In 1989, the corpse of a Caucasian male in his early forties was found buried in a snowbank approximately fifty metres from SCP-5998. Identification in his pocket confirmed him as a member of GOI-182 ("la Spada di Cristo"), a Vatican-affiliated Group of Interest.
+dying in the dark. You're living in the light. I did my duty.
+The remnants of a crashed Piasecki H-21 Shawnee helicopter were found similarly buried a short distance away from SCP-5998. Analysis of the crash site concluded that the pilot had likely lost control of the aircraft after the fuel tank had exploded, though the cause of the explosion could not be determined.
+
A number of items were recovered, in various states of damage.
+
+
An envelope with a letter enclosed, stamped by a seal. Illegible due to water damage.
+
A gold cross on a chain. Warped by the heat of the crash.
+
A personal calendar in Italian for the year of 1959. Ink damage is present extensively on most dates for the month of January, stopping at the 25th.2
+
Remnants of a map, with ink damage present.
+
+
A textual document was also recovered from the wreckage, and is available below in a translated form.
+
+
To whoever finds this, know what I did, I did with the heaviest of hearts.
+
+I grew up an orphan. I never knew my mother. My father had gone to serve Italy in the Great War as they were calling it, and never came back. I was one of many, in the overcrowded streets I called home.
+
+I most likely would've died in those streets, stealing food from the wrong shopkeeper or running afoul of the local mafia gangs, if I had not had the fortune of picking the pockets of a solider. Though I had not known it at the time, stealing from a Sword of Christ would turn out to be the greatest decision of my life.
+
+For the first time in my life, I had brothers. A home. Faith. The Lord gave me the greatest gifts I had ever known, and the possibility of salvation for a misspent youth. He gave me everything I never knew I needed, and asked for nothing in return.
+
+And what did I do to repay this unconditional kindness? I betrayed Him and everything I ever believed in. The Lord welcomed me into his arms, and I placed a dagger in his back.
+
+The Holy Father insisted I would not burn for this act. That I would be venerated among my brothers as Saint Fillipo, a guardian of man's progress. But not even canonization can wash the blood from my hands.
+
+Bury what you have found in here. Let me be forgotten, as He will be soon.
Special Containment Procedures: Subject currently resides with Agent █████, who it has chosen as its "owner". Both Agent █████ and SCP-607 are to be placed under full surveillance for study, and Agent █████ is to report to Dr. █████ for psychiatric evaluation every two weeks. A task force should be ready at all times with at least one (1) D-class personnel on hand for subject to "imprint" on in the case of the death of SCP-607 or Agent █████. When not being directly held or monitored by Agent █████, SCP-607 is kept shackled and bound in a small, portable containment chamber. The containment chamber is designed to immobilize SCP-607, allowing medical personnel to insert feeding tubes, IV drips, catheters, and other life-support devices. Due to the nature of SCP-607, Agent █████ has elected to keep the portable containment chamber on his person or in his immediate vicinity at all times.
+
Description: SCP-607 is a large grey male American Shorthair cat of indeterminate age with a collar reading "Dorian".
+
SCP-607 was discovered in late 19██, when a man known as A███ S███████ suddenly and without warning violently expired at a cocktail party in uptown New York City. Mr. S███████ death was later found to coincide perfectly with the moment a party attendee leaving the home mistakenly backed over S███████'s cat.
+
Due to the mysterious nature of S███████'s death, a local Foundation operative joined the investigation as a "consultant". Special Agent F█████ had stepped outside to smoke a cigarette when he heard "a cute lil' mewlin' sound". SCP-607 subsequently bonded with Agent F█████, who chose to bring it back to the Foundation as a pet and companion. Agent F█████ reported difficulty in supporting SCP-607. The cat would not eat, became lethargic, and seemed to lack a will to live. Agent F█████ jokingly told fellow agents he was experiencing "sympathy hunger pains." 7 days after Agent F█████'s initial contact with SCP-607, both he and the cat died of starvation.
+
The circumstances surrounding Agent F█████ and Mr. S███████'s death piqued the interest of the Foundation, and the cat's dead body was taken to an isolation chamber until further testing could be ordered. SCP-607 reanimated approximately 24 hours after its estimated death time.
+
It was (correctly) speculated that once SCP-607 bonded with a person, a negatively symbiotic relationship was formed. SCP-607 bonds with the first human individual it comes into contact with after reanimation. Several experiments were conducted, each involving bonding SCP-607 to a D-Class personnel. Testing showed that injuries inflicted on SCP-607 would show up on the bonded person, in the closest anatomical representation possible. Striking SCP-607 resulted in bruises on the personnel. Breaking one of the cat's front legs resulted in the personnel's broken arm. Termination of SCP-607 via gunshot resulted in death of the bonded personnel, via a bullet hole with no bullet found. In all of the experiments, SCP-607 reanimated approximately 24 hours after death, with no apparent physical injuries.
+
Perhaps most important to note, however, is SCP-607's behavioral tendencies. Regardless of the bonded individual's attempts to appease the cat, SCP-607 is suicidal. SCP-607 has been observed starving itself, inflicting self harm with its teeth and claws, running into traffic, antagonizing large dogs and then allowing itself to be mauled, eating poisonous materials, jumping into the moving parts of heavy machinery, and attempting to enter Keter containment chambers. In all cases, the death of SCP-607 has resulted in the death of the bonded individual, with injuries and causes of death mirroring those of SCP-607.
+
Death and injury testing on SCP-607 has ceased after Agent █████ accidentally bonded with it, during an unauthorized breach of the containment chamber. SCP-607 still displays suicidal tendencies, despite Agent █████'s persistent attempts to form a favorable relationship with it. Agent █████ has suffered severe bodily harm several times, leading to the decision to restrain SCP-607 in a portable containment chamber fitted with a life-support system. Agent █████ is under close observation, both to ensure psychological stability and to study the relationship between Agent █████ and SCP-607. At this time, SCP-607 still displays suicidal tendencies when removed from restraints. It is unknown if SCP-607 has always displayed such tendencies, or if they are due to its resentment of the Foundation and the initial testing performed on it.
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-6096 is to be handled directly by Mobile Task Force Zeta-29 ("Blood Brothers"). SCP-6096 is to be detained in a standard humanoid containment chamber located at Site-19. On-site personnel are to constantly monitor SCP-6096's chamber via video and audio recording devices. Any changes in behaviour are to be immediately logged.
+
SCP-6096 is to be released from containment whenever it desires.
+
During an off-site excursion, SCP-6096 is to be escorted directly to its destination by MTF Zeta-29 using whatever mode of transport is most convenient. A secondary team are to move ahead of this main escort group and preemptively dose the target with a high-grade tranquilizer so as to ensure unconsciousness. Once SCP-6096 has successfully terminated the civilian in question, it is to be invited back into containment.
+
Description: SCP-6096 is an entity, presumably humanoid in shape, the body of which is perpetually concealed underneath a large cotton sheet.
+
Due to the presence of this sheet, a full physical description of SCP-6096 is not possible. Superficial analysis of the entity, however, indicates that SCP-6096 is 1.55m tall and weighs approximately 48kg. The sheet covering SCP-6096 is larger than the actual body, and typically trails at least a meter behind it when it is mobile. Personnel have been unable to attempt to remove this sheet in order to obtain a more accurate description.
+
No living being can consciously take an action which would result in harm coming to SCP-6096. 'An action which would result in harm coming to SCP-6096' is a broad category, and has been observed to consist of acts including:
+
+
Attempting to attack SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to order others to attack SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to trick others into unknowingly attacking SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to lay a trap for SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to order others to lay a trap for SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to trick others into unknowingly laying a trap for SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to create a device which would independently and automatically cause harm to SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to leave SCP-6096's presence when doing so would expose the entity to harm.
+
Attempting to self-terminate, if said self-termination would result in negative repercussions for SCP-6096.
+
Attempting to remove SCP-6096's sheet.
+
+
SCP-6096 is usually docile, allowing itself to be led into containment so long as said relocation would not result in harm coming to it. At periodic intervals, however, SCP-6096 will become active and independently mobile, persistently moving at walking speed towards a target.
+
In all observed cases, this target has been a human being selected at random from the population of the planet Earth.
+
Any individual who observes SCP-6096 during an active period will gain an instant awareness of the identity of the current target, along with their location. Additionally, they will find themselves compelled to aid SCP-6096 in reaching and securing its target.
+
Evidence suggests that SCP-6096's target alone is exempt from its main anomalous property — they are able to take actions which could cause harm to SCP-6096. To date, however, none have been successful in doing so, usually due to the unwilling efforts of the entourage SCP-6096 inevitably accumulates during its journey to the target.
+
When SCP-6096 physically reaches the target, it will subsume them underneath its cotton sheet. In cases where the victim is conscious, they can be seen and heard struggling against SCP-6096 underneath the sheet for a period ranging from twenty to forty minutes, after which they will disappear entirely. The cries of distress emitted by these victims suggest that this process is extremely painful.
+
Following acquisition of its victim, SCP-6096 will return to a docile state.
+
+
+
Addendum 6096-1 (Initial Containment)
+
+
SCP-6096 first came to the attention of the Foundation on 09/12/2018, when police in the town of Dernham, New Mexico were called to the home of the local Mallion family. The parents of the family, Samuel and Amanda Mallion, claimed that SCP-6096 had entered their home and caused their sixteen-year-old son, Desmond Mallion, to vanish.
+
SCP-6096 was still present at the home when police arrived — and when authorities subsequently found themselves physically unable to remove the sheet covering it, agents embedded in the regional government alerted the Foundation and brought the entity into initial containment.
+
The household of the Mallion family was equipped with several cameras for home security purposes, and so the arrival of SCP-6096 was also captured on film. The following is a transcribed log of the relevant portion of this footage:
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
(The Mallion family is sat on the couch in their living room, facing the television. Samuel and Amanda Mallion are actively watching television, while Desmond Mallion is scrolling on his phone. The sound of a car pulling in can be heard — this is believed to be Drake Ellen, a local taxi driver, dropping SCP-6096 off outside the house. Several seconds later, Samuel Mallion nudges his wife and points towards the out-of-shot window.)
+
Amanda: What?
+
Samuel: You see that?
+
Amanda: See what? I don't… oh! (laughs)
+
Samuel:(laughs) You see?
+
Amanda: Is that a Halloween thing? We're closer to Christmas, aren't we?
(Amanda reaches over and grabs Desmond's arm tightly. He looks up from his phone.)
+
Desmond: Hm? What's up? I'm doing stuff.
+
Amanda: Nothing, honey, just — oh — just stay there, okay? Just stay with me. Oh, no, no, no…
+
(SCP-6096 is barely audible as it gently knocks on the front door.)
+
Samuel:(audibly distraught) I'll get it.
+
(Samuel shakily gets up from the couch and moves over to the front door. He opens it and SCP-6096 enters.)
+
Desmond:(laughs) The hell? Is that Kimmy1? What's she all dressed up for? (attempts to pull arm away) Hey, could you let me go? You're — uh, you're kinda hurting me.
+
(Amanda whimpers.)
+
Amanda: That's fine, honey, I'm sorry, honey — it's just, d-don't move and it'll be fine, I only hurt your arm when you try to pull away, that's just —
+
(As SCP-6096 approaches, Samuel moves ahead of it and grabs Desmond's other arm, holding him down against the couch.)
+
Amanda: — that's just fine, you just stay still, honey, you just close your eyes, it won't hurt if you just close your eyes, I love you, I love you, okay? Honey?! Okay?!
+
(Desmond attempts to break free, but is unable. He kicks his legs wildly in the air. His phone slips off the arm of the couch and falls onto the carpet.)
+
Desmond: What are you — I'm serious, let go of me!
+
Samuel:(crying) Just stay still, son, just stay still. It won't — it won't hurt for long. It can't hurt for long. Stay strong. Stay strong for me.
+
Desmond:You're going to break my fucking arm!
+
(SCP-6096 reaches Desmond and begins to subsume him, feet first, under the cotton sheet. Amanda and Samuel watch, mouths open, as Desmond is fully dragged under the sheet, visibly struggling. It appears that they are attempting to scream, but are unable.)
+
(Desmond begins to loudly scream, and violent thrashing can be seen under the sheet.)
+
(This continues for thirty-six minutes.)
+
(Once Desmond has completely vanished, SCP-6096 returns to a docile state. It wraps itself in the cotton sheet and sits down on the carpet, facing the television.)
+
(Samuel collapses to the floor and curls up into the fetal position, seemingly in a state of shock. Amanda staggers backwards to the far wall, continuing to face SCP-6096, and calls emergency services on her cell phone.)
+
(All parties remain in the same positions, save for Samuel's occasional rocking, until police arrive.)
+
<End Log>
+
+
All immediate witnesses were dosed with a Class-A amnestic and a cover story for the disappearance of Desmond Mallion was produced. It is currently unknown how long SCP-6096 was operating prior to this event, if at all.
+
+
+
Addendum 6096-2 (Welcome Notice)
+
+
+
And there you have it. Welcome to Mobile Task Force Zeta-29 — the booze is under the sink.
+
No need to worry about professionalism down here: the higher-ups couldn't demote me if they wanted to. Apparently, my presence as the head of SCP-6096 containment is beneficial enough to it that me being reassigned would count as harming it. Lucky me.
+
You're probably wondering how we can be shameless enough to say we have this thing under containment. It comes and goes whenever it feels like it, and if it ever decided it didn't want to come back to its containment cell, we have literally no way of forcing it. And, yeah, you're probably also thinking that calling that room a containment chamber instead of a hotel room is just as shameful.
+
To that I say: you're absolutely right. There's nothing we can do against SCP-6096. Feel free to take a drink until you're able to accept that. Don't hold back — you're going to become very familiar with that bottle anyway. I know I did, the first time I had to hold the door to a maternity ward open for this thing.
+
The idea of containing SCP-6096 is a bad joke. We all decided a long time ago that the only way out of this nightmare is liquidation, decommissioning, neutralization, whatever you want to call it. But that's no walk in the park either; I've stood in that chamber for hours, gun pointed at 6096's head, screaming at my finger just to tighten slightly. Didn't work. You can't harm SCP-6096, no matter how much you want to. You can't even try to start a Rube Goldberg kind of thing to eventually harm SCP-6096. It's just a fact of the world — maybe a semiohazard or whatever it's called.
+
The way I see it, then, there are three main ways out of this nightmare:
+
+
Another organization, maybe the GOC, takes a shot at it without realizing what they're dealing with. Maybe they think we're transporting something much more dangerous — maybe they think we're in over our heads with it — and they take it out with a drone or something, blow the thing to hell while we're transporting it. A bomb would kill it easy, I think — it feels weak. This would only work so long as the GOC thinks they're bombing something else entirely. If they knew it was SCP-6096, they'd just be contained too.
+
An .aic deals with it. I don't know if an artificial intelligence is immune to SCP-6096's effects, but the fact that it won't let me tell one of them about it gives me hope. Maybe one day, one of those computers gets a mission, and maybe that mission — by complete coincidence — happens to lead them over to this file. Then they use their superior intelligence to set things up so 6096 runs into an 'accident' out of the blue.
+
A target gets lucky. Maybe 6096 goes after a gun nut, and the poor guy gets a lucky shot in before we can hold him down. This almost happened once — but Lopez took the bullet. Poor guy bled out while we were holding the target down for 6096. Maybe it'll happen again, go better.
+
+
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
+
Let's be honest — these scenarios aren't scenarios, they're fantasies. The odds of any of these things happening on their own are tiny. Miniscule. The only thing that can really do 6096 in, far as I can see, is sheer coincidence. In the end, all we can do is wait and hope — hope for one of us to make a genuine mistake that gets the right dominoes falling. But I wouldn't hold your breath.
+
After all, we're so fucking good at what we do.
+
Charlie Symanski, Commander of Mobile Task Force Zeta-29 ("Blood Brothers")
Special Containment Procedures: A solid steel fence has been erected around SCP-6185. The containment area is to be patrolled by a single appointed guard under the guise of a forest ranger. Said personnel is to prevent any civilians from approaching the containment area of SCP-6185.
+
The containment area of SCP-6185 is to be visited as necessary to confirm SCP-6185-A remains in a healthy state. Actions to uphold SCP-6185-A's health such as watering and application of fertilizers are to be taken if necessary.
+
Contact with SCP-6185-B is to be kept minimal. Any aggressive behavior when tending to SCP-6185-A is not to be considered harmful, and thus requires no responsive action.
+
Description: SCP-6185 is the collective designation given to two anomalous items.
+SCP-6185-A is a sapling of an unknown species of deciduous tree, measuring 0.4 meters in height. SCP-6185-A's most apparent anomalous property is the incapacitating feeling of dread experienced by anyone attempting to make physical contact with it.1 The anomalous effect has halted all attempts of gathering further information about SCP-6185-A.
+
SCP-6185-B is a pair of disembodied, mobile hands belonging to late Penny Cooper. SCP-6185-B instances are both capable of locomotion using their fingers, and operate as a single unit by assisting each other in traversing and interacting with their environment. Both instances exhibit signs of mild decomposition, but dissolution of tissue seems to have ended at some point prior to their discovery.
+SCP-6185-B is highly protective of SCP-6185-A, but due to the lack of harmful anomalous properties they possess, are not to be considered a threat.
+
Discovery: SCP-6185 was discovered following the investigation into the disappearance of Penny Cooper and her newborn child. Cooper was found dead in a cabin several hundred kilometres away from her home. Notable detail about the cadaver was the absence of both hands. Cause of death was determined to be suicide due to a note she had written prior to her death. Her child was not found in said location, and is currently still missing.
+SCP-6185 itself was located in a nearby forest clearing as a result of a civilian notification. Link between the cadaver and SCP-6185-B was suspected, and a containment team was sent to the location. Current containment procedures were established following the initial encounters with SCP-6185, and the application of standard civilian amnestication protocol.
+
Addendum 6185/1: The following is the excerpt of the note recovered from Penny Cooper's dwelling.
Katherine, you will eventually find this note so I want to tell you I'm so sorry. I know just how much you wanted a child of your own. I never really got all the fuss from kids, but you are my friend, and you still are, so of course I would help you. But now that it comes to it I just can't give her away. She hasn't been even born yet, but I truly think I get things from your perspective now. Which makes me even more sorry, knowing how you must feel when you find out. I can't imagine ever parting from MY baby.
+You, if anyone should understand on some level. If I don't do something, they'll take her away from me. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I promise by my hand to keep her forever safe. No one but me will ever lay their hands on her. On MY baby. No one will take her away from me, and if I can't touch her, then no one will. She is safe.
+–Penny
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum 6185/2: Attachment File
+
+
+
Department of Human Resources — Leave Request
+
Name: Gregory Hopkins
+Personnel Identity Number: 25519
+Site: 197
+Assigned to: SCP-6185
+Reason: It spoke to me. It said my name. Her first words. I heard its first words before I heard my own son talk. I need some time off to be home with my son.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6294 is currently under investigation, and efforts are underway to understand its nature and prevent its recurrence. Site-78 has been quarantined, and access to the site is restricted until further notice. Investigations into local phenomena in the town of Chugwater are ongoing, and the Foundation is working to monitor and contain any anomalous activity that may be related to SCP-6294.
+
Description: SCP-6294 refers to the unusual event that occurred in Chugwater, Wyoming, resulting in Site-78 and the entire town being covered in a thick layer of snow. The snow, SCP-6294-A, possesses properties of heat resistance, with no melting point having been discovered as of yet. Evidence from recovered materials claims that SCP-6294-A was capable of movement at one point and was responsible for the disappearances of the townspeople, although no remains have been located at this time.
+
The Foundation has been unable to determine the cause or the mechanism behind the event.
+
Discovery: On 6/16/2025, Foundation Site-78 ceased communications with Midwest Command. Initially, it was believed to have been caused by the snowstorm reported in the area. However, after the storm dissipated, contact was still not established.
+
Dr. Flynn Gehenna1 and MTF Rho-98 ("Snow Misers") were dispatched to Chugwater after further attempts to establish communication were unsuccessful. Dr. Gehenna's team found the town completely covered in SCP-6294-A with coverage ranging from 0.3 to 1.2 meters.
+
Efforts to locate missing personnel and understand the nature of SCP-6294 are ongoing.
+
Addendum 6294.01: Recovered Distress Call
+
The following distress call was recovered from a black box at Site-78; it appears that the message was not received by any other site.
+
+
MESSAGE TRANSMISSION
+
Sender: Dr. Reginald Whitlock
+Recipient: All Foundation Sites
+
Priority: Emergency
+
Subject: Urgent Distress Call - Site-78 Incident
+
Attention all Foundation sites,
+
This is Reggie from Site-78. We are currently facing an emergency situation and require immediate assistance. I apologize for the urgency of this message, we're in danger.
+
Okay, um… Approximately four? Three? Three hours ago, Site-78 was engulfed by an unprecedented snowstorm, resulting in the complete isolation of our facility. Multiple layers of thick snow have rapidly accumulated, effectively trapping us within the site. The snow itself isn’t melting. We got lighters, lanterns, blow torches, even some thermal anomalies, but nothing.
+
We tried to get out, but the snow is just… It's too thick. This one janitor-his name was Brandon, I think. He got a large coat on and tried to flee, but he fell in the snow and it just…
+
[Sounds of retching.]
+
We pulled him back. We tried, when we did, his face… oh god, his face. It was just gone. The snow was just eating him away. Peeled like an orange. Thinking about it makes me… Jesus fuckin' Christ.
+
[Heavy breathing.]
+
Uh, our Scranton Reality Anchor is keeping it at bay, but it's not strong enough to fully keep it out. The books… the books are in storage, the other anomalies are still in their cells.
+
The situation is rapidly deteriorating, and we have limited resources to sustain ourselves. Please, this is Reggie, signing-
+
Shit, shit! It… It's in! It's moving in! Close the doors off immediately, get that thing away from me! Pl-
+
TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED.
+
+
Addendum 6294.02: Interview with Researcher Gregory Chudley
+
Recovering and securing the anomalies within Site-78 was an utmost priority for MTF Rho-98 once the roads were cleared. During their initial sweep, Rho-98 discovered Research Greg Chudley barricaded within the break-room of the Parabiological Sciences department. No other staff members remained other than their uniforms.
+
+
[Begin Log]
+
[Researcher Chudley is seated at the interview table, appearing to be in a state of distress. His hair is unkempt and his lab coat has turned a shade of grey. Dr. Gehenna opens a can of Mountain Dew Kickstart and slides it toward him.
+
Gehenna: Here, this should take the edge off. I've heard you are quite fond of this… stuff.
+
[Chudley picks up the can and takes a drink.]
+
Chudley: Thanks. I ran out of these some time ago. How long… how long was I in there?
+
Gehenna: Fourteen days, give or take. I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner. None of your emergency communications made it off-site.
+
[Chudley's expression turned to a scowl.]
+
Chudley: You'd think a whole site going down would be a cause for alarm.
+
Gehenna: Midwest Command assumed communications were down to the storm. There was a-
+
Chudley: Wasn't in the budget? Didn't have the resources? Didn't give a shit? Yeah, I've heard all the excuses before. I bet the only reason you came down here was to ensure that the Set of Nine was secure.
+
Gehenna: Those skips have been accounted for. But I’m more interested in what happened to your humanoids.
+
Chudley: How would I know? The snow probably go to them. Johnston locked me in this room when that snow started getting into the Site. Told me I'd be safe 'cause of the SRA we have in here. Wait. Where is she? Is she ok?
+
Gehenna: Researcher Johnston is MIA. I'm so sorry.
+
[Chudley begins shaking his head.]
+
Chudley: No. No. No. Richter? Lorri? Reggie? They can't all be-
+
Gehenna: Gone. The snow that you mentioned, SCP-6294-A? We believe it has taken all of the Site-78 Staff. You’re the only man left standing in Chugwater.
+
[Chudley slams his fist down onto the table.]
+
Chudley: WHY DID IT TAKE YOU THIS LONG!? If someone at Midwest Command would of given a damn about us, Johnston would still be here!
+
[Chudley begins breathing heavily.]
+
Chudley: She should have been in this room, not me. She would know how to deal with this I just- I just deal with the little stuff.
+
Gehenna: Chudley, I need you to calm down or I'll be forced to call for staff.
+
Chudley: You expect me to be calm? My best friends might be dead, and I'm supposed to be calm?!
+
Gehenna: I understand this is hard. I want to help, but I need more information to do that!
+
[Chudley nods.]
+
Chudley:sighs It was benign at first. This is Chugwater after all, snow falling into June isn't exactly the weirdest thing to happen here. But then it kept getting worse; snow was blocking roads, we were getting snowed in ourselves. Then we heard people were disappearing around town and then… it started moving.
+
Gehenna: Moving?
+
Chudley: Yeah, started busting through the windows and doors. We started losing people and began evacuating to the more secure parts of the facility. Johnston locked me in here and told me she'd be back for me once the coast was clear.
+
[Chudley shook his head.]
+
Chudley: Of course, she never came back and I started hearing a pounding against the door. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
+
[Chudley paused and looked solemnly at the table, tears are present in his eyes.]
+
Chudley: I thought I heard her out there. So many times I wanted to open that door but I followed her lead like I always have. That noise lasted… I don't know, maybe it was a few days. Eventually, it just stopped.
+
Gehenna: Do you know if any of your departments figured out the cause?
+
Chudley: (quietly) Amaiyeha demands retribution.
+
Gehenna: Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that.
+
Chudley: I would check by the Chugwater Formation. I have reason to believe that the Formation could be a hub of anomalous activity. It's better than nothing.
+
Gehenna: A hunch? I'm going to need a bit more than a hunch, Chudley.
+
Chudley: You don't hear it in the air? When you get that chill from the wind? She's happy to be free.
+
Gehenna: I… um…. I thought I heard something. She was released from there, wasn't she?
+
[Dr. Gehenna is visibly startled as they stand up.]
+
Gehenna: Thank you, Chudley. You understand that you'll need to be kept in the infirmary for a few days to monitor your vitals. I can't imagine subsisting on snack cakes and Fritos has done wonders for your health.
+
Chudley: (chuckles) It's only slightly worse than my usual diet. Just let me know if you manage to find her. It won't be hard, she's everywhere after all.
+
[End log]
+
+
Afterward, Dr. Gehenna and Chudley were checked for Cognitohazardous and Infohazardous influences potentially belonging to SCP-6294. Dr. Gehenna and Chudley both passed the CRV evaluation and Gehenna was cleared to return to her work.
+
Addendum 6294.03: SCP File
+
The following file was discovered at Site-78. The file itself was heavily damaged, but the following was recovered.
+
+
Item #: 6 94
+
Ob ct cl s: K e er
+
+
+
S osed si ti g of S P-62 4
+
+
+
S cial C ainm Pr cedu : S P 94 Is un taina e. All bers of the of Ch r a t se h ter un l fu er ac on is po ble.
+
D scr tio : SCP-6 is a kno om y ca g the of Ch ter, Wyom to be c med ck la r of sno T w is seem con ll a hum a m , it's ori is wn at the .
+
S P- 94 is tempo ly ated wi ea h vi , al ou h it con ue to spre it lf oss t e to n.
+
If SCP XX spr to o e loca , it m y be clas ied as Ap lyo .
+
+
Addendum 6294.04: Recovered Journal from Excavation Site
+
After confirming that Site-78 was secure, Dr. Gehenna's team turned their attention to the Chugwater Formation located outside of city limits. An investigation into the area uncovered an abandoned Oil drilling operation conducted by Noss Industries.2
+
The dig site itself was devoid of any survivors, with dozens of Noss uniforms left behind. Noss CEO Paul Sanalan was reported missing a day before Foundation personnel quarantined the dig site. Further investigation uncovered that Noss didn’t have the proper permits for drilling, as the Formation was protected land. From the indentations found at the site, Noss appeared to have uncovered an artifact. No artifact fitting the indentation could be located.
+
The following excerpts are from a journal recovered from the Project Foreman's office after MTF Rho-98 cleared SCP-6294-A from the premises.
+
+
Day 5
+
We had more protestors showing up at the Site today, railing against the company for apparently trampling on Native American land. I was taken aback by this claim; I was told we had a permit to drill in this area, so I took it up with Mr. Sanalan after security had gotten the crowd to disperse.
+
Apparently, Noss isn't supposed to be here. Sanalan worked something out with the mayor to allow us to set up shop and he assured me that he would handle any trouble from locals who came by to complain.
+
Greedy Bastard. If it wasn't for the pay I'd probably just hang up my hard hat and head home. This place is a pipe dream anyway I know the seismologists detected pockets of "something" under the ground, but scientists have mostly ignored this place for being worthless. What hope do we have to strike it big?
+
We're in the middle of the ass end of nowhere. Nothing ever happens in Chugwater. I'll cap this entry off for now, we'll see where things go.
+
+
+
Day 7
+
I was doing some research into the tribe that used to inhabit this land. The Mandan. It appears that this area was one of their ancestral homes, but they seemed to have abandoned it shortly before the settlers arrived. It's a little strange that they'd want this area protected, but none of them actually live here.
+
Anyways, things have been continuing smoothly, but some of the drillers have been complaining about headaches. I think it might be humidity, this area is a little moist. The scans have detected a cave system not too far down from where we've been digging. Mr. Sanalan says if we break into the cave, we're to explore it before we go any farther. I don't know what he's playing at, but I assume he's thinking we might find something more than just oil out here.
+
+
+
Day 9
+
Well, we made it into that cave system and it's quite extensive. I'd say we were wasting time trying to explore it, but Mr. Sanalan insisted that we search it. I'm starting to get a little worried for my guys. A lot of the ones that were reporting headaches have said that they're hearing voices.
+
Specifically, they say it's a female voice telling them to come deeper into the caves. I chalked it up to stress and if it were up to me, I'd send them home. However, Mr. Sanalan is adamant that they're fine and keeps overriding my requests to keep them in the infirmary until they're better.
+
I can't help but feel every day we're here that we really really aren't supposed to be here.
+
+
+
Day 11
+
It happened. We lost two people. Michael and Alex have gone missing. We're frantically searching the damn caves, but no sign of them. Maybe they're just messing around, playing some sick joke. We found their jumpsuits outside the chamber at the center of the system. I bet they're waiting to jump out butt-naked and scare the crap out of us.
+
But that's not even the most interesting thing to happen today, as fucked up of a segue that is. That chamber I mentioned had this big glowing stone inside of it and the room itself was extremely cold. Strangely, it seems that those who were hearing the voices stopped hearing them when they got closer to it. Mr. Sanalan had to leave the dig site for a couple days but he told us to load it up and bring it up to the surface, so up it went.
+
I keep finding myself absentmindedly staring at it, there's something about it that's been bothering me. I can see something inside and I feel like it's staring back.
+
+
+
Day 13
+
All hell broke loose. Everythin was fine until that rat bastard fuckin touched it. It had started to snow ystrdy, with a little powdr here and there. A little strange considerin it was the summr but not too uncommon for the Midwest. The reports of voices however hadn't stoppd and we didn't find Michael or Alex but Sanalan didn't care. When he got back all he wanted to do was see the stone.
+
[ILLEGIBLE]
+
That's when it happend. We'd all avoidd touchin the stone with our bare hands cause it was just so cold but he touchd it barehanded. When he did it startd to crack but it began suckin him inside of it, I don't even know how that was possible seein as it was solid. We tried to pull him away but the tug was too strong, we lost him and the stone shattered into a million pieces. Somethin remaind tho, the thing that had been starin at me; talkin to us thru our minds.
+
I imm-diatly turnt tail and ran away as it scrmd in this unholy language that felt like it was burrowin into my skull. I still hear it dam it, feels like its coming from the air itself if that maks any sens. I kno it doesnt but I can hear its wrds echoing in my brain and in the cold air thats circulatn in my lungs.
+
[ILLEGIBLE]
+
I escaped to my offis and locked the door shut. I tried to call for help but nothin was workin, I couldnt get anything on my cell or the landline, meanwhile that snw had startd to intensify and I watchd from the wndows as it washed over my coworkers and stole them away.
+
Its tappin at the wndows now and tryin the handle. The snow. I havent seen that creatur in days but this whole site is startin to fill up with snw. I cant even pic that damn thing, it was like. cold incarnate. I feel like my mind just made up a form for it caus I could hardly make out what it was.
+
I'm likely not gonna survive much longer. I ran out of water about a day ago and theres no food in this room. I could giv into this godforsaken chantin nippin at my brain but I won't. If that thing takes me, I don't think I'll be in the afterlife to see my family som day.
+
[ILLEGIBLE]
+
I might not have much of a choice, I can hear the windows startin to crack a little. Regardlss if I peace out due to dehydration or not, I just want to say that I'm sorry we disturbed this land. Clearly the Mandan had every reason to abandon this place and now were paying the price.
+
To my wife and my daughter Mandy. If you find this, know that daddy loves you and someday hopefully you'll see me again… in the… in the…
+
snow
+
+
+
Addendum 6294.05: Recovered Audio log
+
The following recording was recovered from a cassette tape in the home of Allison Hodge, with the room it was discovered in being in heavy disrepair.
I hear it calling. It's… it's so… I hear it beckoning me in. My family left a day ago, and the snow is creeping in. Its call… Please, for the love of God, someone has to be out there. I can't die in here. It calls, it's like they're coming from inside my head, begging me to join them.
+
[Pause.]
+
"Join us in the snow," it says. "It's so nice. Your friends are out here! Your family… Your…"
+
[Sounds of sobbing.]
+
I've been trying to keep it away, but it just keeps piling up at my windows, at the door. I can hear it in my head.
+
[Sobbing continues.]
+
Please! Just let me go! I don't want to die, I don't want to die!
+
Just let this snowfall end.
+
+
+
+
+
Similar events have been reported in 12 other states in the past month. The entity described in the recovered documents has yet to be found.
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-6448 should be focused on investigation of deer exhibiting anomalous traits within and around the Appalachian area.1 All civilian sightings of SCP-6448 should be attended to by Mobile Task Force Gamma-4 (“Green Stags”). Possible deaths resulting from SCP-6448 should be attributed to hiking accidents, and sightings are to be blamed upon Chronic Wasting Disease.2
+
The Site-44 Cryptozoology Division is tasked with ongoing research into the ‘not deer’ phenomenon. Should an SCP-6448 instance be captured, it is to be brought to Site-44 for containment and study.3
+
+
+
An SCP-6448 instance attempting to communicate with non-anomalous deer.
+
+
+
Description: SCP-6448 is an anomalous branch of the Cervidae family.4 All members of this group display heightened intelligence and are presumed to be sapient. Many specimens exhibit some form of physical malformation, causing them to stand out from non-anomalous deer. While the exact details of physical abnormalities differ between instances, repeat commonalities are as follows:
+
. Legs bent backwards
+. Barrel chested/bloated abdomen
+. Emaciation
+. Eyes belonging to unrelated animals
+. Forward-facing eyes
+. Jerky movements
+. Loss of fear towards humans
+. Tendency to walk on two hind legs
+. General bodily disfigurement
+
Aside from physical disfigurement, instances show severe divergence from the behaviour of other cervids. Namely, SCP-6448 are known to observe, stalk and persue humans, often for hours or days. This includes following humans to and from their homes, wherein they will proceed to steal belongings, weapons and food. Very rarely will SCP-6448 attack victims while they are indoors.
+
SCP-6448 are most commonly encountered in deep woodland, particularly at night or dusk, when a person is alone. Any form of direct acknowledgment of SCP-6448’s anomalous traits in these situations will always result in the victim’s termination.5 In such situations, personnel are to observe the extract of Cervus Protocol attached to this file immediately (See below).
These actions should be carried out by anyone inadvertently interacting with SCP-6448 and are necessary for your survival. Please skip to the section with relevant information if your life is under threat.
+
+
If you notice a deer that seems “off”, look away and ignore it. If it knows that you’ve noticed it, it’s too late. If you hear your name, whistling or something else in the woods calling for you, don’t acknowledge it. Never acknowledge it exists, don’t respond, don’t go looking for it, don’t call back to it.
+
If you’re walking at night and you feel something breathing on your neck or whispering behind you, the key to your safety is pretending that everything is normal.
+
Your survival is dependant on your ignorance.
+
+
+
+
+
+
Presently, SCP-6448 are known to inhabit only the Appalachian region of North America.6
+
History:
+SCP-6448 was officially assigned anomalous classification in 1980, though they have been recognised by local people since 1947. SCP-6448 is a firmly cemented figure in Appalachian folklore, known colloquially as the "Not Deer" due to their striking similarity to the species they imitate. Many locals claim to have encountered instances of SCP-6448, or possess knowledge of an individual who has. A majority of local communities living in rural areas of high activity are aware of the precautions required to avoid hostile encounters, primarily due to urban legends and stories involving the entities.
+
SCP-6448 were previously researched at Site-41, located in ████, North Carolina. On 11/01/1994, a group of 3 SCP-6448 instances broke into the Site utilising a tunnel system carved over an extended period of time. This triggered containment breach alarm systems and the Site entered lockdown protocol. The single instance kept in containment, being prepared for dissection, was lost in the breach and not recovered. Over the following decade, a further 5 SCP-6448 instances would be captured and contained, all of which would escape the Site through tunnels carved by other SCP-6448 entities. The decision was made to transfer all instances to Site-44, overseas, to prevent further breaches. Since this decision, no capture attempts have been successful.
+
Addendum 6448.1: Recently Recorded Civilian Encounters
+The first reports of SCP-6448 surfaced around the week of 07/07/1947. In the time since the genus’ discovery, many members of the public have encountered the entities, though most accidentally stumbling upon them do not alert local authorities. This is typically due to the SCP-6448 instance either merely watching the subject or becoming hostile. The following is a log of all recorded 911 calls related to SCP-6448 phenomena since the year 2000.
+
+
+
Date
+
Details
+
+
+
02/01/2000
+
Victim (aged 41, female) dialed emergency services after hearing their name being called from the woods near their home. The victim recounts the vocalisation being likened to a scream in a voice that they do not recognise and requested assistance in locating the source. Emergency personnel requested the subject place their phone on the floor outside the home to listen for the alleged sounds. After 2 minutes, a vocalisation was heard that was calling to the subject by name, emanating from the nearby forest.
+
+The subject was instructed to investigate the disturbance themselves and keep services updated on the situation. The victim then begins to walk into the woodland, getting about 50 metres into the underbrush before inexplicably stopping. They claim there to be a noticeably large deer standing in the way of the path. She begins to walk closer, though states it does not move. Subject diverts from the path and begins walking in a different direction. After 30 minutes, no source of the voice is determined. The caller returns to their residence.
+
+
+
13/06/2002
+
Victim (aged 28, male) calls 911 regarding a home break-in. The caller notes numerous items to be missing from their residence and requests an investigation. Operators dispatch two investigators to visit the home and discern a potential perpetrator. The pair note that, based on earlier CCTV images, all cutlery, sharp objects, firearms, lightbulbs and a single copy of the novel ‘The Day After Roswell’ are missing. Also noted is that there is a complete lack of any fingerprints at the scene, with no doors or windows having been broken into. Analysis of the home’s CCTV footage revealed there to be a two hour period of missing film, with the exception of a single frame containing a Cervus nippon7 on its hind legs, reaching towards the camera. Its frontal hooves have been warped to resemble fingers. No footage of the entity exiting the home was discovered.
+
+
+
19/11/2005
+
A cattle farmer (aged 54, male) reported to local authorities the sudden disappearance of over 30% of his largest herd. Response teams searched the nearby area for 4 hours though found no trace of the cattle. The victim was recommended to set up trail cameras and note any unusual activity overnight. At 01:11 AM, two SCP-6448 are seen walking through the field before fleeing. One places an object into the ground, later discovered to be a single fork. A week after this discovery, 200 discarded bovine hooves appear at the location.
+
+
+
04/03/2009
+
Victim (age unknown, gender unknown) dials 911 to request assistance from animal services. The victim is stood within a forest in front of a Cervus elaphus8 which is violently contorting. The animal is repeatedly ramming itself into a tree, covered in blood and viscera. The victim begins to state "You'd better get a vet or something, I don't think it's well" before a piercing screech is heard and the line falls silent. Recovered footage depicts the aforementioned animal squirming, seemingly in pain. A viscous churning is audible as a black mass erupts out of the instance and the video turns to static.
+
+
+
11/10/2012
+
Victim (aged 23, male) is a junior wildlife officer at Cherokee National Forest, Tennessee. They radio their supervisor in early evening regarding a herd of Odocoileus virginianus9 within the reserve. Supposedly, there is a single animal that upon first glance appears average, though possesses divergent attributes including backwards joints, an enlarged abdomen and forward-facing eyes. Upon stating this, a distant whistle is audible and the victim stumbles slightly. They begin to say “What the he- did it just whistle at me?” before the sound of hooves rapidly getting closer is heard. Notably, the hoof steps did not sound to be in the traditional gallop of a cervid.
+
+
+
12/10/2012
+
The aforementioned victim’s supervisor calls authorities following the victim’s absence from the reserve night shift. Following this, their radio begins to crackle. The victim’s voice can be heard on the other end and he requests the supervisor’s attention.
+
+He calls regarding a herd of Odocoileus virginianus within the reserve. They claim there is a single animal that upon first glance appears average, though possesses divergent attributes including backwards joints, an enlarged abdomen and forward-facing eyes. Suspecting the creature to be a rare genetic malformation, the victim requests their supervisor to come to the location. The supervisor questions the victim about what happened the night previous. There is no reply. Upon the supervisor’s and law enforcement’s arrival at the site, a herd of approximately 80 Odocoileus virginianus was present. A single entity is in the field’s centre and appeared to be standing separately from the rest of the group. It flees the scene upon realising the law enforcement’s presence. Where it formerly stood layed a park ranger's standard two-way radio.
+
+
+
08/04/2016
+
Victim (aged 35, female) dials 911 using a satellite phone, distressed. They state that they are in ████ County Woods and are being followed. She claims that, despite seeing no one for the duration of her hike, she “feels as if she’s being watched” and has heard someone walking behind her at various points in the trip. The victim is unable to give an adequate description of her location, but knows the route to return to her residence. Operators request the victim to return to a point wherein she can provide a sufficient geographic description of her position.
+
+The victim remains on the line for the duration of the hike back to a readily used portion of the wilderness trail. Along the journey, various unnatural sounds can be heard. These include footsteps, rockslides, coughing, whispering and whistling. Nearing the main trail, all woodland noises such as birds and wind cease suddenly, and the victim states she can see a malformed deer carcass coated in a thick layer of a black slime-like substance. At this time, human screams can be heard in the distance. Operators request the victim continue and ignore other stimuli. Agents embedded in local law enforcement, suspecting SCP-6448 involvement, notify Gamma-4 to the situation. 20 minutes later, the victim returns to the main trail. Gamma-4, now operating the 911 call, inform the victim to not respond to any further unusual activity and briefly outline Cervus Protocol. For the duration of the victim’s journey to her home, two sets of breathing are audible.
+
+The victim successfully returns to her residence and shuts the door behind her. Now out of sight from SCP-6448, agents inquire upon the victim’s address and the victim promptly complies. Operatives instruct the victim to have possession of all firearms and weapons on the premises and to barricade herself inside a safe space with one exfil point. The victim swiftly begins grabbing all available weapons and throwing them inside a wardrobe. It is at this time that there is a knock on the front door. The victim does not respond and continues to hoard sharp objects from kitchen drawers. The knocking becomes more violent as the handle is being jostled and shaken incessantly. A voice on the other side repeats the phrase “Hello, it is me. Hello, let me in.” in a calm manner as the door begins to shake. The victim retreats to her wardrobe, armed with a small firearm. Upon sealing herself in the space, the knocking ceases and footsteps can be heard, decreasing in volume. The sound of galloping is audible as the front door caves in. Hoof steps can now be heard inside the home.
+
+The entity continues to repeat “Hello, it is me. Hello, let me in.” as it searches the small building. A bright light flashes overhead, seemingly circling the house. Eventually the entity enters the victim’s bedroom. Through a small slit in the wardrobe door, the victim can see a Cervus canadensis10 standing on its hind legs and surveying the room. Its movements are crooked and stiff, seeming to struggle to stand in a bipedal fashion. It slouches down to a quadrupedal crouch, similar to the stance of an arachnid. It inhales heavily, and its head locks on the view of the wardrobe. It is noted as possessing human eyes. It scampers towards the subject and opens the door. A single gunshot is heard. Responders found no trace of either SCP-6448 or the victim.
+
+
+
It should be noted that this represents a small fraction of human to SCP-6448 encounters, as the majority of occasions go unnoticed and undocumented. On each of these occasions, all associated video, photographs and objects were confiscated by MTF Gamma-4, whom also called off public investigation. Cover stories 356α “Home Break-In” and 898Γ “Missing 411” were successfully implemented.
+
Addendum 6448.2: INCIDENT 6448-ALPHA
+On 29/11/2019, MTF Gamma-4 (“Green Stags”) successfully detained and captured an instance of SCP-6448, with the assistance of MTF Nu-7 (“Hammer Down”)’s heavy vehicles division and highly experimental shock rifles. The resulting skirmish left a single instance unconscious, which was swiftly placed aboard an armoured CH-47 Chinook helicopter en route to Site-44 in England to prevent outside assistance. Upon reaching the Site, the sedated entity was transferred to a containment cell without incident. The following is a log of events thereafter.
Date: 30/11/2019
+Location: Site-44, Foulness Island, England
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
SCP-6448 instance is contained within a large reinforced steel containment cell, having just awoken from heavy sedation. Cryptozoology Specialist F. Ozz stands in front of a large one-way glass window that encompasses the room’s South side.
+
Researcher Ozz: Greetings, SCP-6448.
+
The instance suddenly bolts upright and stares at the intercom.
+
Researcher Ozz: Can you understand me? We’ve seen your genus speak English just fine in the past.
+
The instance does not respond. It begins licking its arm.
+
Researcher Ozz: Please, we know your secret.
+
The instance pauses.
+
Researcher Ozz: Admittedly it wasn’t exactly well kept. If you’d just look at yourself for more than a few seconds, it is very clear that you’re not… normal.
+
The instance is stood facing away from the window. Its neck swivels 180°, visibly breaking multiple vertebrae as there is an audible crack. It does not blink.
+
Researcher Ozz: (To containment staff) I thought you said this was one-way? (Staff mumbling) It is?
+
The instance’s gaze remains locked on Researcher Ozz.
+
Researcher Ozz: Are you something imitating deer? It is clear that, if so, you possess basic anatomical knowledge on them, though details are faulty. In fact, a better question would be… how? Assuming you are not what you pretend to be.
+
The instance opens its mouth, which contains abnormally sharp teeth. Its jaw moves in a manner that seems to imitate speech. No intelligible dialect is heard, rather, a sound similar to gagging or choking is audible.
+
Researcher Ozz: Shall we move on? What I’m more concerned with here is why you take our people. Is it to settle a vendetta? For food? Spite?
+
The instance blinks for the first time in the interview. The movement is noticeably forced.
+
Researcher Ozz: Responding is mandatory.
+
The instance shows no reaction.
+
Researcher Ozz: (Sternly) If you will not comply, maybe you’d like to see your brand new containment cel-
+
SCP-6448: R-
+
Researcher Ozz: (Pauses)
+
SCP-6448: R- Rasaerch. Research. (The instance speaks in a distorted version of Ozz’s own voice)
+
Researcher Ozz: Research? What kind of-
+
SCP-6448: July 7, 1947.
+
The instance suddenly rams the 20 inch thick one-way glass, cracking it slightly.
+
Researcher Ozz: (Stumbles backwards)
+
The instance begins to collapse. It contorts violently and begins screaming. Its abdomen bulges and writhes.
+
Researcher Ozz: Get the Stags in here now!
+
A black, viscous, tendrily mass erupts out of the instance's side. It leaps and squirms around the cell before shattering the viewing window. The remaining carcass is entirely hollow.
+
Site-44 Breach System:Containment breach detected. All personnel report to the nearest safe room. Containment Sector 4 blast doors will seal in 10 seconds.
+
The tendrilous mass swiftly manoeuvres outside of Sector 4 in seconds, clearing the lockdown area. It travels in the direction of the main exit.
+
Site-44 Breach System:Full Site lockdown initiated. Locking main exit in 5 seconds.
+
The mass clears the main desk. It shatters the glass on the front exit and disappears into the outside shrubbery.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
+
+
+
A two month long search proved inefficient in locating the escaped anomaly. Additionally, since this incident, there has been an unprecedented increase of CWD afflicted deer and UFO reports in the area surrounding Site-44. Further research is ongoing.
Special Containment Procedures: Attempting to intercept the transmissions affiliated with SCP-6497 has been deemed ineffective. Containment efforts are instead to be focused in suppressing the chances of exposure in the general populace.
+
Web traffic and common medical records in the country of The United States of America are to be monitored for evidence of SCP-6497 activity. Exposed individuals are to be apprehended and amnesticized regardless of the level of exposure to the anomaly. Additionally, should the affected individual have been physically modified by a CUSTOMER-Event, these changes are to be catalogued.
+
Discovered instances of SCP-6497-1 are to be recovered and stored in their respective storage folder at Site-76.
+
An information campaign informing the general populace of the dangers of signing contracts which seem vague in nature is currently ongoing.
+
Description: SCP-6497 is the designation given to a currently ongoing series of commercials which aim to familiarize affected individuals to an anomalous service consistently referred to as "Dr. Wink's Fantabulous Service: Be The Better You!".
+
Though these manifestations have been determined to be rare, estimated to appear yearly in 0.7% of American households on average1, instances of SCP-6497 have been encountered in most American states, appearing in the television feed of individual households instead of the general audience.
+
The exact details of SCP-6497 vary between each time an instance of SCP-6497 is aired, the only consistent traits between them being the following:
+
+
An brief introduction to the service by a masculine voice
+
A brightly colored, fast paced presentation
+
A phone number which has been the same in each instance so far
+
+
Calling the number displayed in an SCP-6497 instance will result in the call going into voice mail, as well as the manifestation of SCP-6497-1 in the caller's dwelling approximately 12-48 hours later.
+SCP-6497-1 is a contract which has the appearance of having been printed on a standard A4 sized paper. Discovered instances of SCP-6497-1 are identical to one another with no significant deviations, consisting of a brief introduction to the service, a space for a signature, and several squares with the intention of providing several choices of various body parts and organs.2 In addition, an empty space is provided for the writing of further details regarding the selected options.
+Signing SCP-6497-1 in one's own signature causes the instance to demanifest as soon as physical contact with the paper is broken. Implementation of the service event, hereby referred to as CUSTOMER-Event, follows within 24-48 hours3, the details of which depend on the options chosen.
+
SCP-6497 activity was first detected in 2007 when reports of people being miraculously cured of their physical ailments by a salesman were reported all around the United States, similar cases having occurred yearly. Nearly all cases involved the individual being cured by the services of a salesman which they discovered through a commercial, descriptions of which being highly similar in all reported cases.
+
Research into individual cases initially revealed no evidence of the described commercials having been aired at any point in time, nor there existing a company that could be linked to any of the information acquired. Currently ongoing broadcast television surveillance did confirm the occasional appearance of SCP-6497 activity in the states of Ohio, Tennessee, Washington, Arizona and Alaska during the initial surveillance period.
Civilians known to have been exposed to SCP-6497 during the initial surveillance period were detained, questioned and examined prior to being amnesticized. A theme of physical improvements was quickly recognized in the results of these cases.
+
+
Event #1
+
Subject: Harold Grimes
+
Details of SCP-6497-1: The subject had crossed out the option "Finger" on the contract.
+
Interview summary: The subject reported his finger being completely cured of the lasting damage he had sustained after contracting Seal finger4. The reported reason for him utilizing the service was the possibility of the lasting damage being relieved.
+
+
+
Event #2
+
Subject: Megan Hallow
+
Details of SCP-6497-1: The subject had crossed out the option "Eyes" on the contract.
+
Interview summary: The subject reported her eyesight having improved overnight, which he believes to be directly related to the service she was provided. The reported reason for her utilizing the service was her desire to join United States Air Force, which she was previously denied of due to her insufficient eyesight. She had refused to partake in the required testing despite her improved eyesight.
+
+
+
Event #3
+
Subject: Christopher Palmer
+
Details of SCP-6497-1: The subject had crossed out the option "Leg" on the contract. Additionally he had written further details regarding his wish, asking for the option to apply for both of his legs.
+
Interview summary: The subject reported his legs having developed more muscle mass overnight. The reported reason for him utilizing the service was his desire to win the local marathon contest without having to participate in active physical training which he described as "bothersome". Subject displayed apathy towards his surroundings, speaking only when spoken to, reason for this behavior being his lost will to attend the marathon.
+
+
+
Event #4
+
Subject: Helen Strick
+
Details of SCP-6497-1: The subject had crossed out the option "Other" on the contract, and given further details on how she would like her nose to be.
+
Interview summary: The subject reported her nose having been straightened and decreased in size overnight. While these were the details she had written down on SCP-6497-1, she displayed displeasure for the result.
+
+
+
Event #5
+
Subject: José Ortega
+
Details of SCP-6497-1: The subject had crossed out the option "Other" on the contract, and written "Brain" on the line next to the option square. He had then provided further details by writing down he wishes for his IQ to exceed 130.
+
Interview summary: The subject believed his IQ having vastly improved overnight, claiming he was accepted as a member of Mensa. This turned out to be false, and while the rest of his story was confirmed, he had repeatedly scored 115-1255 on the official Mensa IQ test, as opposed to the average score of 101 he had prior to the CUSTOMER-event.
+Upon this being pointed out to him, he began to cry. He then explained his desire of developing his intelligence having been extinguished over the past week, which apparently was detrimental to his self-confidence.
+
+
Research notes: While the affected individuals had no notable physical traits justifying further measures, most of them seemed unwell mentally, behaving rather depressed with the exception of the individual Harold Grimes. We will know for sure only after we're finished with the examination, but the affected individuals mental state might be something of note.
+
Apparently this Harold Grimes fellow contracted seal finger again, what a waste of an anomaly.
+- Researcher Jenner
+
+
+
VIDEO LOG
+
+
Date: 11 / 8 / 2007
+
Preword: The DNA-testing subsequent to the physical examination of subjects affected by a CUSTOMER-event was finished. Researcher Savos arrived in the office of Dr. West, who at the time was accompanied by Researcher Stork.
+
+
[ACCESSING SITE SURVEILLANCE RECORD…]
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
Researcher Savos enters the room holding a document.
+
Dr. West: Momma didn't teach you how to knock?
+
Researcher Savos: My apologies, but you want to see this.
+
Dr. West: The results of SCP-6497 examination I assume. It better be or I'm sending you back to the door.
+
Savos hands Dr. West the document.
+
Dr. West: I see… and you're sure of this?
+
Researcher Savos: Yeah, we ran the tests 3 times. The DNA sequence is an exact match in all the cases so far.
+
Researcher Stork: Wait just a minute. You're telling me these people are clones of each other? That doesn't make any sense.
+
Dr. West: No Stork, it means the healed body parts are genetically identical to one another. Though now I highly doubt any healing has taken place at any point.
+
Researcher Savos: The DNA sequence though…
+
Dr. West: Inconclusive, yes yes. It's never that easy. What about the mental state of these people? Jenner was quite adamant of the possibility of the CUSTOMER-events having mind affecting consequences.
+
Researcher Savos: I think they seemed displeased of their situation in one way or the other, but at this point it's still too early to say anything for sure. So far I don't see anything concerning, but we'll keep an eye out in case more of these cases pop up.
+
Dr. West: I see. Now, if that's all then you're excused. Stork, we'll continue this conversation later. I have a call to make.
It is currently 12th of August, 2007. 10:31 AM. This is Dr. West, currently assigned as the Head of Research at Site-76, investigating the anomaly designated as SCP-6497.
+
Lately there's no whiff about any new cases, so currently the leads we got now are pretty much all we have. Despite this I have confidence that there will be more cases popping up, hopefully because our means of detecting them improve as we get to know what we're dealing with here. As for the origin of SCP-6497 itself, current attempts to find whatever source the broadcast signal originates from are still ongoing. The mechanism behind SCP-6497's uncanny ability to broadcast itself in the television feed of singular households while bypassing the eyes of the general populace seems unfeasible, and will undoubtedly pose a challenge in finding the signal, assuming there is one.
+
More people are being affected as I sit here babbling into my recorder, though it's likely this has been going on for a while at least right under our noses. We have reported cases, but if this is like pretty much any crime out there, we sure as hell don't know the half of it.
+
+
+
21st of August, 2007. Dr. West, continuing with the investigation of SCP-6497.
+The initial surveillance period is nearly finished, with 2 new confirmed cases of CUSTOMER-Events discovered since the the last checkup. DNA testing yielded the exact same results, can't say I'm surprised. Our readiness in terms of fast response and recovery have improved vastly, though we have been unsuccessful in finding the broadcast signal associated with SCP-6497 activity.
+
The apprehended individuals were given the same physical evaluation, but Jenner was given full permission to go evaluate them with her theory in mind. Jenner's a capable woman, if she has a reasonable hunch, then I'm not stopping it.
+
Anyway, turns out she might be onto something. She pointed out the last batch of "customers" were all quite unhappy, if not with their current predicament, then with the result of whatever drove them to sign that contract. Pretty understandable, so I didn't pay too much mind to it. Then this kid from the last batch told how he dropped out of school some time after the CUSTOMER-Event took place. He even passed the test, why drop out now? Apparently he too wanted to become more intelligent like that other guy, but also wrote his little wish on the paper to get himself a pair of muscly arms. You know, back in my day we just studied harder and went to the gym when we had time instead of signing shady contracts like absolute dimwits. I swear, motivation is wasted on the youth.
+
+
+
12th of September, 2007. 6:13 PM. Just earlier we got news which could change the course of this goose chase. A researcher from an unrelated project on this site saw an SCP-6497 commercial, and actually managed to record most of it on his phone. I happen to have the displeasure of knowing the guy's an underachiever, but I suppose all motivation-challenged slugs have their day.
+
As for the recording, what we got from the witness reports matches what we saw, and so far there's nothing indicating instances of SCP-6497 having cognitohazardous traits. Must be easy selling this when there's idiots around every corner. Speaking of which, this "Salesman", who- or whatever it may be, is either poor at what it does, or happens to get whatever it wants simply by the implementation of CUSTOMER-events. Either way, we now have a lot of fleshy spare parts to hunt down. It's just hard to imagine a reasonable motive for any of this, and finally getting to hear that voice myself makes this feel that much more personal to me.
+
Sigh. I really don't believe there's anything at the moment we can do to actually halt SCP-6497 activity, best we can do is suppress whatever activity we happen to detect. I have faith in my team, but there's only so much we can do with the leads we have, and even those aren't that much in the end. Stork blurred out his theory of the original body parts having been completely swapped with these anomalous ones instead of having gone through some genetic altering. It's certainly a thought to consider, and answers have a tendency to just create more questions. I don't want want to jump to any conclusions, but I don't want to rule out any possibilities either.
+
Stay ambitious, fair researchers of Site-76. Even you Stork.
27 / 9 / 2007 Dr. West discovered a small bottle containing a purple liquid substance on the desk in his office. A small note was tied to the neck of the bottle with a decorative string.
+
+
A little preview for my favorite go-getter. Keep up the good work!
+-Dr. Wink
+
+
Upon making contact with the bottle, the television in Dr. West's office turned on and started displaying a commercial very similar in pattern with the commercial linked to SCP-6497 activity. Said commercial advertised a service titled "Dr. Wink's Fantabulous Service For Unmotivated Go-Getters!". It played in loop for 3 times before ending abruptly. Dr. West managed to record most of the commercial.
+
Dr. West reported the appearance of the bottle, and investigation could prove no apparent reason as to how the bottle got into Dr. West's office unnoticed, or why the anomaly attempted communication with him. Following this, the purple substance was determined as a part of SCP-6497 activity, and designated as SCP-6497-2.
+
+
+
Experiment 6497-A
+
Date: 27 / 9 / 2007
+Subject: D-1190
+Attending researcher: Researchers Jenner and Savos
+Procedure: Subject was ordered to ingest SCP-6497-2 in order to study any physical or mental effects on human beings. Subject was held in an observation cell for the duration of the procedure.
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
13:00 D-1190 receives the order to ingest a small sample of SCP-6497-2, which he complies.
+
13:02 No effects detected. Attending researchers continue the observation of the subject.
+
13:11 Increase in dopamine detected.
+
13:13 Subject's mood seems to improve, indicated by his body language and gestures.
+
13:15 Subject is ordered to stand on his right foot while reciting the alphabets in reverse order. Subject complies immediately, and carries out the task with no difficulty.
+
13:30 No further notable effects are observed. Guards enter the observation cell, and order D-1190 to exit. D-1190 complies, and returns to his cell with no resistance, still retaining his elevated mood.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Afterword: No alterations to the physique of the subject was observed, DNA- or otherwise. Further testing to be commenced shortly.
+
+
+
Experiment 6497-B
+
Date: 27 / 9 /2007
+Subject: D-1190, D-6026 and D-4385
+Attending researcher: Researchers Jenner and Savos
+Procedure: The subjects were ordered to ingest a sample of SCP-6497-2, with the exception of D-1190 as he had recently been exposed to it. Subjects were instructed to perform a task which is designed to measure ones intelligence, and ability to perform in teamwork. Subjects were held in an observation cell for the duration of the procedure.
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
The subjects enter the room escorted by 2 guards. The subjects then watch the guards unlock the door on the way back, and exit the observation cell.
+
15:00 D-6026 and D-4385 are ordered to ingest SCP-6497-2, both of which hesitate to do so. D-1190 encourages them to comply with the orders, claiming he has felt content after consuming it himself.
+
15:01 D-6026 and D-4385 comply.
+
15:12 Both subjects display elevated dopamine levels highly similar to what was observed in experiment 6497-A.
+
15:15 The subjects are presented with a puzzle box which requires problem solving skills, as well as precise timing achievable through teamwork to successfully open. Subjects observe the box, immediately sharing their thoughts of it with each other.
+
15:21 The box is successfully opened. The subjects compliment each other, seemingly having forgotten the presence of the observers.
+
15:22 Attending researchers leave the observation area to monitor the behavior of the subjects via camera feed.
+
15:29 The subjects gather together to converse, keeping the volume of their speech too low for the audio recording equipment to pick up.
+
15:32 D-6026 runs into the corner of the room, and begins to "draw" patterns onto the floor with his finger. Camera feed zooms in to recognize them, but is unable to see anything unusual.
+
15:33 D-1190 and D-4385 manage to open the electronic combination lock of the observation cell door. A nearby guard sets off the alarm.
+
15:34 D-1190 and D-4385 narrowly evade the guards gunfire. D-6026 exits the observation cell and attempts to tackle the guard, but is terminated via gunfire by another guard.
+
15:35 D-1190 and D-4385 are located and terminated via gunfire.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Afterword: It is suspected the patterns D-6026 "drew" were simply a distraction with the intention of drawing the observers attention towards himself. How D-1190 and D-4385 managed to unlock the door is not known.
+
The results of the experiment indicate SCP-6497-2's effects being of possible value to the Foundation. The subjects demonstrated elevated performance in regard to communication and intelligence. Opening the box took them only 6 minutes and 27 seconds, while the average among recorded attempts is nearly 15 minutes. The swiftly formed plan of escape is thought to be the result of SCP-6497-2's effects.
It was thought approaching the investigation from the viewpoint of a salesman could expedite the investigation process. Dr. West contacted Dr. Harmon of Site-109, who was known for his expertise in Economic- and Trading Sciences. Below is the chat log of their conversation.
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:05 #1
+
+
Good day Dr. Harmon
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:05 #2
+
+
Good day. I understood you needed my help with an anomalous product of sorts?
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:06 #3
+
+
Well yes, soon so to be product at least. We have reason to believe the distribution will start soon, and any help on how we could prevent this is appreciated.
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:06 #4
+
+
Of course. Just give me a moment to get to know what we got here.
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:07 #5
+
+
6497SCP.zip
+6497comm2.mov
+
I must ask you to delete this information after we are done.
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:23 #6
+
+
Looks like what we have here is someone doing dirty business. You're now aware of the product, but the question of supply isn't so clear.
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:24 #7
+
+
Any ideas? If this is a business, there has to be something to gain from this. There has to be a reliable supply of whatever is used to make SCP-6497-2, and a sufficient demand for it.
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:25 #8
+
+
Now you're thinking the way you should. And that is what leads us to what I believe to be the most believable answer. You see, businessmen are alike with any other people in one important way.
+If they wish to achieve something, they need to want it. What one needs is three distinct tools needed to success. Appropriate skill and knowledge, the will to want it, and the will to put effort into whatever it is they desire. In some cases the latter two are arguably more important than actual skill because they are needed in order to push an individual to improve oneself to learn and strive towards the goal they have set their mind on.
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:28 #9
+
+
So what you're saying is that this is actual motivation in a bottle?
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:28 #10
+
+
That's about it, yes. You could also call it desire. And it has to come from somewhere. Is the picture getting clearer to you?
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:29 #11
+
+
Researcher Stork proposed a theory about how the original body parts of CUSTOMER-Event affected individuals are actually completely taken. While that seems more plausible by the second, that's not what's important here. It's what was taken along them.
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:30 #12
+
+
Well there's the equivalent of a supply chain in this case.
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:30 #13
+
+
That would make sense. Whatever motivation they had was clearly wasted on them. Thank you, I know what must be done.
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:30 #14
+
+
Say, have you been feeling tired lately?
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:31 #15
+
+
Now that you mention it, yes. The investigation of this thing honestly hasn't progressed much until very recently.
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:31 #16
+
+
Do you understand market segmentation?
+
+
+
A. West 8/10/07 MON 12:32 #17
+
+
Enough to know your point based just on the fact you even knew to ask that of me.
+
+
+
T. Harmon 8/10/07 MON 12:33 #18
+
+
Best of luck, doctor.
+
+
+
+
+
To: Site Director Waltz
+From: Aaron West
+Subject: SCP-6497 Update
+Date: 12/ 1 /2008
+
+
Hello Director
+
I am pleased to inform you we have managed to redirect the distribution of SCP-6497-2 from civilian consumers to exclusively Site-76. Using instances of SCP-6497-1 affiliated with the service "Dr. Wink's Fantabulous Service for Unmotivated Go-Getters!" on a monthly basis to order more SCP-6497-2 instances than it is possible to produce, we should be able to purchase the entire stock, preventing them from reaching civilians. The fact that no cases of commercials advertising said service have been detected outside Site-76 seems to support this hypothesis.
+
While we are still very much incapable of completely halting SCP-6497 activity and the "harvesting" of SCP-6497-2, I believe doing so would be a mistake even should we be able to do so. Cutting off the supply could potentially result in SCP-6497 changing its usual activity to adapt to "a new market." Best we keep things as predictable as possible.
+
The research team has recognized the SCP-6497-2's potential capability to be used for the benefit of the Foundation, as the test results have so far been nothing but encouraging. Even if using it after all this has a certain sense of irony. Future use as efficiency enhancement in small doses is a possibility, though the research is most likely better suited for another team.
+
The Special Containment Procedures revised to account for this new information will be delivered in your office by tomorrow afternoon for approval.
+
Motivation shouldn't come from the bottom of a bottle, but rather your character. Though a glass of scotch every now and then does no harm. Still, as much as these new developments have benefited us, I can't shake off the feeling it was us who got the short end of the stick here.
Special Containment Procedures: An anti-memetic perimeter is built in a 2km radius around SCP-6667-1. Maintenance on this perimeter is performed annually, at which time Foundation research expeditions may occur. Due to the harsh natural environment surrounding SCP-6667-1, the location requires no further containment measures. Standard protocols are in place to restrict public knowledge of SCP-6667's substantial influence on humanity's evolution.
+
+
+
[PLACEHOLDER IMAGE] Photo of SCP-6667-3 expunged for potential cognitohazard. Safe rendition pending.
+
+
+
Further research on translations of the proto-writing within SCP-6667-1 requires express permission either from two of SCP-6667 lead researchers or written authorization from Head Researcher Dr. M. Bresson[REVISION PENDING]. A database tracking exposures to SCP-6667-1 and SCP-6667-3 must be maintained and up to date.
+
Long-term repeated exposure to SCP-6667-3 through any media is strictly regulated to avoid worsening the possible memetic effect. Dr. M. Bresson's objection, citing "redundancy", has been declined.
+
Description: SCP-6667 denotes the anomalous events, entity, and effects hypothesized to have influenced the evolution of humanity's ancestor Homo erectus into Homo heidelbergensis between 700,000-800,000 years ago. The evidence for such anomalous activity is centered within the point of origin, SCP-6667-1, located approximately 250 kilometers south-west of the town of In Zghmir, Algeria.
+
SCP-6667-1 is an underground cavern containing evidence of an ancient primitive community, belonging to a previously unknown ancestor to Homo sapiens. This ancestor has a genetic makeup distinct enough to be given the binomial nomenclature of Homo animalis1. Evidence indicates Homo animalis had technological abilities not seen for hundreds of millennia. Examples include the usage of hearths for cooking meat, as well as sophisticated weaponry including balanced throwing spears, indicating hunting methods which required planning and foresight2. The research team for SCP-6667 believes such advances were influenced by SCP-6667-2, a minor deity-like entity who lived among Homo animalis as the societal matriarch3. SCP-6667-2 was not worshiped, but accepted by Homo animalis as equals4.
+
This entity expired through inconclusive means, causing the community's disbandment. After SCP-6667-2's passing, the advanced abilities concentrated within the society dissipated, but the evolution of Homo heidelbergensis accelerated in the following millennia5. Through SCP-6667-2's influence on Homo animalis, the descendant Homo heidelbergensis species adopted the same advances, eventually utilizing fire for cooking, developing primitive social structures with multi-generational roles, and developing language6. All of the above were present in Homo animalis. Evidence suggests Homo erectus may have used fire to a lesser degree, but the other qualities are absent.
+
SCP-6667-3 denotes the hundreds of cave paintings found within the cavern, which may have a memetic effect on those who view them or attempt to discern their meaning. This effect is very weak, but may compound with repeated viewings. The research team for SCP-6667 believes this memetic effect is similar to the effect SCP-6667-2 had on Homo animalis.
+
As of 2024, the research project on SCP-6667 is considered complete. All research has been compiled by the research team, spearheaded by Dr. M. Bresson, into a three-volume work. Foundation members with an interest in the anthropological impact and ongoing memetic effect of SCP-6667 may refer to "SCP-6667 and the Origins of Modern Man" (2025, 3rd Ed)7. Notable methodology and processes of the research team, as well as supplementary documentation to outline the research project, have been attached below.
+
Discovery: Found on 11/17/1997 by Foundation personnel tracking [REDACTED]. During the expedition, the Hume meter detected borderline anomalous activity south of the location, with a 0.05% deviation from normality. Once reached, the land above SCP-6667 gave no evidence of anomalies. Without provisions to dig through sand but with sufficient provisions to monitor the location, personnel stayed at the area for 7 days without witnessing any unusual activity. Authorization was received to return to the location with powerful excavation equipment. After digging through sand for approximately 30 meters, rock was hit. Personnel drilled through three meters of rock before breaking through the ceiling of a large cavern. Minor damage was sustained by SCP-6667-1.
+
+
+
Map of Algeria. SCP-6667-1 is located at coordinates 25.39, -2.56, circled in red.
+
+
+
The following noteworthy artifacts were found within:
+
+
The cave paintings were discovered, but the memetic effect was not theorized for twenty-six years. Analysis indicates these were created between 700,000 and 800,000 years ago.
+
Bone residue of animals and some indication of fossilization, in line with the hunting habits later seen in Homo heidelbergensis.
+
A tunnel leading to an exit buried in sand.
+
The floor was solid rock, later concluded to be naturally occurring. At the time SCP-6667-1 hosted Homo animalis, the area of the Sahara surrounding it was akin to a savanna grassland8.
+
Anomalous plant residue, discovered after DNA testing on ashes gathered in patters on the floor and walls. Results did not link the residue to any plant matching the historical record, but would fit within the Polypodiopsida class9. Thermoluminescence dating techniques enhanced by SCP-████ were used on burned plant residue, dating it to around 730,000 years ago.
+
+
SCP-6667's research team has concluded these ashes are the remnants of SCP-6667-2.
+
An excerpt from Lead Researcher Dr. Bresson's personal log provides the best initial description of SCP-6667-1's interior.
+
+
Date: 04/17/1998
+
Location: 25.39, -2.56 -2.65? (Confirm with Kiros10 if that's right)
+
I wasn't prepared. I had a friend some thirty-odd years ago back in my time at St Andrews, before I got my anthropology doctorate. She was working on an Egyptology masters. Maybe fifteen, twenty years later, she told me she got it, she got a research position to study the mummy of Nefertiti. When she saw the corpse, she told me she was surprised it was real. Not a dream, not imagined. A myth before her. She said the feeling was like "finding the last thing in your life." I would like to talk to her more about that.
+
The entrance, once unburied, is simple rock. Either natural or anomalous creation, not the work of man. I'm sure it would have resembled a natural cave, those millennia ago when it last saw the sun. The excavation team wounded it. There's a crack in the ceiling that was plugged after some hundred pounds of sand trickled through. I understand they did not know what they were dealing with, expecting to find another horror. They did not expect a delicate miracle. I'll forgive them another day.
+
A long tunnel with a ceiling too low to stand upright, made of the same natural materials, connects the entrance to the cavern. I believe the tunnel was carved, first of many signs of civilization. The walls here are blank. Once through it, you reach the main only room, rough estimate of 300 meters end to end. The whole structure is like an igloo, with the entrance snaking up to the surface before it was buried. Set on bedrock? Investigation recommended.
+
These cave paintings must be older than writing, older than man, older than any semblance of who we believe ourselves to be. Few depictions of daily routine? No signs of agriculture, although I do not know how any evidence of it could have survived. There are marks of fire; the ceiling is stained black, with markings drawn by wiping away ash, like it was a canvas. It is beautiful, brilliant. An ingenious way to create while conserving resources. Most of the walls are covered in paintings and symbols. Even up to the ceiling. How did they do that? Samples must be collected.
+
The paintings and carvings in stone. There are hundreds. Religious significance plausible. Mostly black and reddish brown. Likely ash and blood. It is remarkable, absolutely remarkable that it has stained the rock for this long a time. Likely anomalous, further research required.
+
One thing I must note. There are swirling black lines from the outer edges of the cavern, which spiral towards the center. A circle has been drawn there, less than a meter in diameter. A construct of planning and intent. It is blank. Religious significance probable. My guess is that the lines are, again, ash.
+
Am I being too sentimental? I hope not. I would like to describe this in the objective manner I've done with other locations. But stories have always made me sentimental. And standing in that cavern, looking at works by all these beings that would be classified as pre-human, I feel as though I have found a missing chapter in the story of us. If my sentimentality can't be excused now, then it can never be.
+
Further research must be done.
+
+
After significant research, some of the numerous symbols on the walls were found to be writing, confirmed to convey meaning. This would predate the earliest surviving instance of writing by approximately 700,000 years. While the writing is primitive, work done by Dr. Bresson and Dr. Rebecca Thane11 provided a rough translation, guided by consistent markings by specific cave paintings. Researchers focused in particular on a portion of wall surrounded by paintings, which was flattened using primitive tools. On this portion of wall were few symbols, theorized to give them prominence. An absolute translation cannot be achieved with the sparse surviving evidence, but the best translation reads as follows:
+
+
Ma. I kill.
+Many. Forgive.
+Ma.
+Ma. Return.
+Forgive.
+
+
SCP-6667's research team found the symbols denoting "forgiveness", "return", and "mother"12 repeated on numerous surfaces within SCP-6667-1.
+
Addendum.6667.1: In September of 2012, research for SCP-6667 was put on hiatus as, by the research team's own admission, all collected evidence had been exhausted. In May of 2014, Dr. Oliman and Dr. M. Bresson submitted an application to resume research, based on Dr. M. Bresson's theory that the numerous cave paintings were evidence of language. Funding was approved by Site 15 Director Novales two months later.
Dr. Bresson's Personal Log
+06/07/2017
+"Ruminations, and The End, Again"
+
As always, we are running out of progress to make. I don't deny I am saddeneddisappointedfrustrated heartbroken by how much time we spend reaching for the next step, and find only air. The search for substance hurts more when you fully, and incorrectly, believe you are not alone in a void. But that is life, and that is history. I will not regret our spent time when it ends. We will return to writing our book, of course. Perhaps we will find that one last piece of evidence somewhere. I do not think we are done, or finished. As always, I have that tiny spark of hope that we will find another step to take. Our end does not diminish what we do already know.
+
I remember wishing to be right, seeing the same symbols by the same paintings. Locked into my own understanding, assuming they were signatures. But I never expected to be right. It was writing. It truly was. 700,000 years ago someone wanted to say something before anyone could speak. Someone wanted to be heard before anyone could listen.
+
Manayu13 would have listened as best she could to anything the Loved14 had to say. Evidence tells us that it was not a religion, it was a community. I believe the influence of this quiet god was much the same as ours on our own loved ones, only trying to do the best for our loved. My Our guess theory is that she was their teacher and protector. How she taught, we don't know, but we assume it was telepathic or by demonstration, as there is no remaining evidence for how she communicated.
+
We think she stayed and protected the Loved for at least 2,000 years, and during this time the community developed the advanced abilities displayed within the cave.
+
How slowly the years pass when nothing changes.
+
She was hurt, yes, we know that much. Someone at the outset of human civilization was too kind or too cruel. The symbols for "forgive" and "return" outnumber any other of the symbols we find, two to one. Except for "mother," of course. "I kill" is only written once.
+
The blank spot, the mark on the floor, was treated with respect, was left alone, even cleaned. The ashes, burned plants, are spread in a design of some significance. As these ashes have the strongest anomalous readings associated with them, we believe either the residue itself or the method of immolation was anomalous. We guess that circle is where she died.
+
Evidence further indicates that she did something to the Loved, almost at the same time she died. After, the Loved left the cave. A rough estimate of three generations within the area. And then they spread, and lived, and evolved. We don't yet know what it was.
+
These are our best guesses, but we believe them good. I still cannot believe the depth of these people, truth be told. Liz still sometimes imitates my expression when I realized it could be language, as a party trick. She could have been a great actress, honestly, but I'm glad she's here. I am more proud of each of them, Rebecca, Art, Andante, and Eliza, than I can put into words. I hope they know it, I can never find the right things to say.
+
So here we are again, looking down the sights of another ending. Manayu was instrumental to our identity, not just as people being people, but for humans becoming human. I just don't know how. I know we are not done. And I don't have any guessreason evidence for it, but I hope we will find something else. Here's to the next expedition, and here's to finding another stone to overturn.
To: Site 15 Appeals Box
+From: Research Member Rebecca Thane
+Subject: Appeal of Funding Rejection - Application to Resume Research on SCP-6667
+Attachments: [EMAIL]Declined - Application to Resume Research on SCP-6667; Funding Release - SIGNED1.pdf; Osteographic Extrapolation Device Schematics.pdf; New Evidence Report.pdf
+
+
+
Good morning,
+
I am following up again with the attached request. SCP-6667 last went on hiatus a few years ago, as we had exhausted all our troves of data. But now, with my clearance and Dr Bresson's leave, I have developed the Osteographic Extrapolation Device, which from basic fragments of bone, can accurately reconstruct portions of a skeleton. I believe the study of our ancestor's anatomy will be the final information we need to understand SCP-6667 as completely as is possible. I believe our new Site Director was wrong to decline the reopening of our research.
+
I do not believe our research will uncover any immediate or distant threat to humanity. But I believe the value of this research is beyond what threats it may uncover. It is fundamental to the understanding of ourselves and our world.
+
I was willing to forgo my promotions and advances in the Foundation to continue working with Dr Bresson on this project. I have dedicated much of the last years of my life to the OED, which will have uses beyond SCP-6667.
+
I am sure you will find the best use for it. It cannot be patented, as it uses SCP-████ and SCP-████, but I relinquish it and its design to your care. I only request at least another two years full funding, an extra expedition to SCP-6667, and permission to use it as we see fit on SCP-6667.
+
Regards,
+
-Dr Rebecca Thane, Former SCP-6667 Technical Researcher
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: SCP-6667 Research Team
+From: ██████████████████████
+Time: 12/04/2021 at 4:00 AM
+Subject: Approved
+Attachments: None
Final Experiment SCP-6667: Through the use of Dr. Thane's device, the research team compared the skulls of Homo animalis to Homo Heidelbergensis and Homo erectus. After exhaustive study and inspection, it was decided that a key difference between the anatomy of the Homo erectus and Homo animalis brain is that the Homo animalis skull had more room for the orbitofrontal cortex. Reconstructions of the Homo heidelbergensis skull indicated similar results.
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Prefrontal cortex for Homo sapiens.
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The orbitofrontal cortex is present in Homo neanderthalensis15 and Homo sapiens. Current understanding of this portion of the brain is rudimentary; on a basic level the cortex relates to decision making and expected reward. As the research team still had six months of funding, resources were then devoted to understanding this portion of the brain.
+
Initially, subjects were connected to an EEG machine and researchers asked a series of questions, with the goal of stimulating activity in the orbitofrontal cortex. After the question methodology failed to produce conclusive results, Dr. Bresson suggested eliciting more emotional responses. Pursuing this route, Dr. Helma and Dr. Andante wrote various stories to better suit a particular emotional response from the subject. Basic psychological profiles were complied for each test subject by the team psychologist Dr. Eliza Glazer. Subjects were asked to imagine themselves as the protagonist for each story, and were questioned how they would make it through the trials set before them, what they would risk, and what they would do to succeed. The constant theme of each story dealt with the difficulty in maintaining possession of a treasured object, concept, or person.
+
Towards the end of the testing phase, Dr. Bresson volunteered to be tested.
+
The full paper, detailing all methodology, stimuli, and results, can be found in "SCP-6667 and the Origins of Modern Man" vol. 3. While a paper of suitable length is created, Dr. Bresson's conclusions after the final test subject were recorded. A transcript is available below.
+
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+
Note:
+
The above information is grounded in evidence, research, and fact. The below passages contain abject speculation and may not be factual. It is the opinion of the remaining members of SCP-6667's research team that Dr. M. Bresson's theories, if not provably accurate, represent the best conclusion of the research project. However, corroborating evidence for some claims does not exist.
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Interviewed: Dr. Monet Bresson
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Interviewer: Dr. Rebecca Thane, Dr. Art Helma, Dr. Andante Oliman, Dr. Eliza Glazer
+
Foreword: Dr. Bresson has been hooked up to an EEG, while Dr. Oliman and Dr. Thane monitor the device to ensure continuous accurate output. Dr. Glazer and Dr. Helma monitored the readings themselves from the adjacent observation room, taking notes on Dr. Bresson's reactions and the EEG's readings. Line of communication between tester and subject remains open.
+
<Begin Log - 12:44 PM, 08/13/2023 - Full test log can be found at Site-15's records - Below is a relevant excerpt after testing.>
+
+
Dr. Glazer: How you doing, doc?
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Dr. Bresson: Oh. Oh! Fine. Um, fine.
+
Dr. Thane: I think… yes, I'm sure everything's in, it held through this time. Liz, Art, can you confirm everything was received? Mo, you should take a look.
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Dr. Bresson: Ah, okay. Yes. Dr. Oliman, could you…
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Dr. Oliman: Sure, yeah! Hang on.
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Dr. Oliman begins disconnecting Dr. Bresson from the EEG machine.
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Dr. Helma: Looks clear on our end.
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Dr. Bresson: Did it…?
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Dr. Glazer: Yep, like you said, doc. The cortex lit up when you believed, really believed, that this would work.
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Dr. Helma: It was bright, too. Really bright.
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Dr. Bresson: Oh! Ah, good. That's…
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Silence.
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Dr. Oliman: Almost done, prep the info.
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Dr. Helma: That's pretty much it, I mean… the orbitofrontal cortex lit up at the moment it was supposed to. Come on Mo, what's your guess?
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Dr. Bresson: I, um… I do have one, yes.
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Twenty seconds of silence.
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Dr. Helma: We'll listen whenever you're ready, Mo.
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Dr. Bresson: Oh! Oh, very well. So… let me think.
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Five seconds of silence.
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Dr. Bresson: Manayu… responded to some crime… But, beyond that, she thought of the Loved as her children, I think. I guess. And they thought, um, of her as one of them, their own, too.
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Ten seconds of silence.
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Dr. Oliman: Sorry, what about the cortext?
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Dr. Thane: Again, it's cortex. There is no "t".
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Dr. Bresson: Ah, um. Heh. Well… it probably developed, when Manayu did what… killed her. I think… she was angry? No that's not right, she was… heartbroken, yes. And, and that can make someone… harm the ones they love, but it wouldn't drive her to pointless cruelty.
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Twenty seconds of silence.
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Dr. Bresson: I think she, uh, gave the Loved something. I think…
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Silence.
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Dr. Bresson: I think it was hope.
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Absolute silence.
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Dr. Bresson: And that… makes a lot of sense to me. Because then the Loved wouldn't only suffer. She tried to teach them, protect them, live as best as they could for themselves. And… then she couldn't? Or they wouldn't. So… hmm.
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Dr. Oliman: Sorry, then before, the Loved were just hopeless all the time?
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Dr. Bresson: Well… maybe, but I doubt it. Animals don't… need hope, right? A deer doesn't flee from a wolf because it… hopes for escape, it flees because, that's instinct. Stimulus-response. S-so before we got hope, we… had no cause for it. I think this enabled us to move past instinct, into… greater realms of thought.
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Inaudible muttering.
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Dr. Bresson: Well… well… is that not the most amazing thing you have ever heard? A small act by a minor SCP, and it has had reverberations, pushing us forward throughout all of time and history! To this very discovery! We… suffer through it all, don't we? For the hope of a better life, somewhere? How else could we… fight in the darkness so others…
SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: SCP-6693's current containment terms are to be upheld without question. Psychological conditioning and counsel may be offered to personnel during times of significant distress or ennui.
+
LOI-6693 is to be hidden behind a row of dense artificial topiary and monitored in perpetuity. Any activity should be reported to the assigned diplomatic liaison for THEOLOGICAL PLANAR FIELD 77-34.
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In the event SCP-6693 necessitates new terms, efforts should be focused on reestablishing contractual obligations in a way that maintains previous rapport and containment efficacy at all costs.
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Current revised containment terms are summarized as such:
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[…]
+
"𐡃𐡌𐡏𐡍 𐡌𐡔𐡃𐡌𐡏𐡍𐡀𐡔" (Hereby referred to as THE PROVIDER) does thus invite "The SCP Foundation" (Hereby referred to as THE SIGNATOR) into a formal agreement via this binding contract. THE SIGNATOR is to provide one (1) cc of pure sanguis as an offering, to be drawn at the time of execution. THE PROVIDER agrees to the following terms:
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During the time in which this binding agreement persists and is applicable, THE PROVIDER will submit for voluntary containment by THE SIGNATOR, and will be unable to leave containment for the duration of this contract.
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In exchange, THE SIGNATOR agrees to the following terms:
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During the time in which this binding agreement persists and is applicable, employees of THE SIGNATOR devoted to THE PROVIDER's containment and caregiving are to provide reasonable lifestyle accommodations (as discussed in Section 18-C) and shall enact PROCEDURE 66-TARTARUS at the behest of THE PROVIDER.
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Cessation or violation of either party's duties under the terms above will be considered default and thus render the agreement null and void, at that time control over any collateral property will be released to joint arbitration for final judgement.
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In lieu of the above, THE PROVIDER will assess the full extent of THE SIGNATOR'S malfeasance, and appropriate punishment will be delivered thusly. These terms can then be renegotiated, upon request, following the completion of a full lunar cycle from last execution.
+
[…]
+
+
+
The full content of this contract is designated 6693-14b, further details of which can be requested from the Site-88 Legal Department, with permission from SCP-6693's current project lead.
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+
DESCRIPTION: SCP-6693 is the designation for an instance of a Faustian-class paranatural entity of theological origin, known to locate itself in close vicinity to outdoor convergent pathways, appearing between the hours of one through four in the morning and typically in low-light conditions.1
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Recovered forensic evidence of SCP-6693's species, taken c. 1943.
+
✖
+
+
+The entity is a mild iconoclastic hazard, as expected. Individuals that have not been able to establish relative belief (or lack thereof) in any of the impacted faiths will be unable to perceive these creatures, who cannot perceive said individuals in return.2 Those passing by or waiting along applicable junctions possessing these specific conditions can encounter entities of similar composition and function. SCP-6693, however, has been voluntarily contained as per its wishes.
+
+SCP-6693 possesses notable physiological deviations from other observed cases, such as a lack of pronounced musculature, atrophied wings, infraorbital darkening, scoliosis, and myopia, accompanied by bouts of depression and mood swings.
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Greek apotropaic ward sometimes discovered along affected crossroads.
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✖
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+Typically, Faustian-class paranatural entities of this type engage in predatory manipulation by seeking out vulnerable humans and encouraging them to partake in stilted, high-risk dealings or curated gambits. Upon selecting a target, these creatures will employ a number of tactics to exploit victims' various personal weaknesses and subsequently coerce them into bureaucratohazardous agreements, at great cost to the signee.
+
SCP-6693 represents the first Foundation-recorded instance in a trend of similar entities with distinct ideology, and as such has agreed to provide insight into the current socioeconomic climate of THEOLOGICAL PLANAR FIELD 77-34 during the length of its contractual obligations with the Foundation.
+
+Thus, SCP-6693 has become an invaluable asset to Foundation research of certain Gehenna-class afterlives and their inhabitants, details of which have previously proven quite difficult to ascertain.
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+
ADDENDUM:
+
Selected Interview Logs
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+
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+
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Interviewing Party: Agent Yolanda Thomas, Asst. Dir. of Containment, Site-88
+
Interviewee: SCP-6693
+
Foreword: This is the transcript of SCP-6693's initial intake interview, which took place in Site-88's main office. The entity, having arrived without warning in the central staff parking lot via a rideshare service, agreed to be placed within an Alsatian thaumaturgic circle in order to speak with containment staff.
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+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
THOMAS: Sorry to keep you waiting. My name is Yolanda, I'm the Assistant Director of Containment Operations at Site-88. Welcome to our humble facility.
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SCP-6693: Humble it may be, but a shining beacon on a hill will always betray the darkness for the light of home.
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THOMAS: Right. Well, I have to say, when reception told me someone just dropped off a demon, I was not expecting literal fire-and-brimstone. You're not here to drag me downstairs just yet, I hope.
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SCP-6693:<Scoffs.> Fire-and-brimstone? Your close-mindedness is unbecoming. Also, that's a stereotype. These hands have never touched an implement of torture. Leave that to the poker-pushers. I prefer the feel of nice vellum and the burn of a strong rye, you know?
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THOMAS: Sure. So, what brings you in today? You must understand this is an… atypical occurrence. <Pauses.> And we're all quite busy.
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SCP-6693: Please. You think I want to do this any more than I have to? This realm reeks of salted butter and petroleum, and I just took a twenty-seven hour Uber to get here. I'm tired and nauseous. Even all that considered, my services are above you lot. Can't sell what you don't have.
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THOMAS: Are you insinuating I don't have a soul? What, by virtue of my employment choices—?
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SCP-6693: I was talking about value. I don't need to do an appraisal of something I know is worthless. But—
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THOMAS: My soul is worthless?
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SCP-6693:Yes. I just said that. I don't like repeating myself, we're wasting time! I'm running out of options while Hell is literally on fire as we speak!
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THOMAS: Okay, alright. Calm down. You're going to need to give me more context. I thought Hell had plenty of fire on a good day, up until now.
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SCP-6693:<Wipes brow.> You're right—apologies. <Takes a breath.> I'm usually more professional and… put together than this, but the past few months have been challenging. I stopped wearing a three-piece entirely back in June. Couldn't afford the dry-cleaning costs.
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THOMAS: And… how can we help, exactly?
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SCP-6693: Well… <Looking around.> It's a nice place you've got here. This chair is pretty luxurious. I hear all sorts of good things about the quality of Foundation infrastructure. Worlds better than that facility in Yuma—
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THOMAS: Er-
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SCP-6693: Arizona.
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THOMAS: Right. Uh-
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SCP-6693: Look, I'll be honest with you. Things aren't pretty on the other side right now. Haven't been for a while. Still, no sane being would choose Arizona when we have ferries and the Lampeter as options. That's the thing, though. Desperation. I'm not exactly here on a temporary visa, if you know what I mean.
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THOMAS: Sorry, I'm not following. Are you saying Hell is in Mexico?
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SCP-6693:<Pauses.> What? Hell is in Hell. You should know that Mexico is a completely separate location. Sheesh. Anyway. My flatmate and I couldn't make rent. He decided to move back in with his parents. I've tried the same before and it's like 'I'm living in Hell, but that's living in Hell.', right? Ah, besides, they got out before things went really bad. I didn't have much of a choice. Still, I think this place will do just fine. I am a creature of compromise, and I bet you guys have working plumbing and everything.
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THOMAS: You must be confused. This is a containment facility. With two active onsite nuclear reactors. Not the Marriott. It's more like a jail with complimentary tumors.
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SCP-6693: No, I know. And I know how this sounds, but hear me out—I'm offering to make you a deal. It's quite the bargain, too.
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THOMAS: Why? How? You can't be permanently contained. If my understanding is correct, our wards are only as effective as people believe they are, which is not as much as I'd like. Even the circle would break down if you fought against it, over time. These methods are not the chains they used to be.
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SCP-6693: True. But I'm not fighting your chains, I'm asking for them. Willing to sign for them, even. There's no place for someone like me over there, not without the value of souls. One of the many consequences of your organization's existence is the death of faith, as you may be aware. Thus, I do believe we could mutually benefit from this situation.
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THOMAS: Hold on, are you saying what I think you're saying? Foundation intervention has led to an influx of souls in Hell, which has caused them to lose their value via overpopulation?
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<SCP-6693 laughs for several seconds.>
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SCP-6693: Oh, you're not joking, of course you aren't. That's on me. No.
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SCP-6693: No, Hell is a ghost town compared to its heyday. Everyone jumped ship for greener pastures, once they learned such things exist. Psychopomps began running folk both ways, doing double the work to meet the demand. Slowed down the whole system, of course. Then, the Lampeter connection appeared downtown and made all of that obsolete. Ferrymen went from overworked to out of work overnight. The ones that remained had to upsell their services, and the damned only ever get one coin when they die, so you can imagine how well that played out.
+
<The office door opens, and an intern enters with a tray of various beverages. Agent Thomas waves him away, however, SCP-6693 motions him back and accepts a sparkling water, which is received with some effort, given the protective circle around the entity. It twists off the cap as the intern leaves, taking a drink, liquid steaming as it makes contact with SCP-6693's forked tongue.>
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SCP-6693:<Sighing.> So, I'm thinking to myself, I have to get out of dodge, too, right? My business is one of soul commerce, after all, and I'm not going back into retail. My funds started drying up, so I decide to take the shiny new Lampeter Express to a shiny new afterlife with, like, universal basic income and running water or whatever. Yet, as soon as I go to execute my plan, the big-wigs in charge instate an interdimensional travel ban. Too many of us leaving, they said. Claimed they got the soul issue worked out, just needed a little time to get the system up and running. Bollocks.
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THOMAS: I take it their solution didn't pan out?
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<SCP-6693 chuckles dryly, retrieving an unknown device and manipulating it for a few seconds. The entity then passes it to Agent Thomas, who furrows her brow. She returns the small object after studying it for a moment.>
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THOMAS: Is that—?
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SCP-6693: It's a cold wallet. You guys have cryptocurrency here, right? That was us, sorry. Well, we didn't gift you the technology, but we should've known you'd 'adopt' it, anyway. This is more like… xenocryptocurrency, to you. Artificial Pneuma, stored via hash strings on the blockchain. <Snorts.> Counterfeit souls—Wait, I just remembered, don't you guys call them thetans, nowadays?
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THOMAS:No, we expressly do not.
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SCP-6693: Huh. Must've been some other scientists I was thinking of, maybe?
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THOMAS: Still incorrect. Just use literally anything else.
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+SCP-6693: Well, they called it PneumaCoin, can't be much better. It takes the truly airheaded to manufacture that which fills a nonexistent vessel. Not long before Hell was approaching end-stage Capitalism, and, even worse, we were catching up to you guys faster than ever. Insult to injury, but I digress.
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THOMAS: So, how did you end up in Arizona?
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SCP-6693: Ah. Right. So, there's a portal between Arizona and Hell under a portion of the US-Mexico border wall, don't ask me why. It leads from a tar pit to a patch of non-arable land along the edge of Yuma. If you don't pay attention, you could almost miss it—except for that smell. Butter and petrol. Unmistakable. It was an open secret where I lived, but no one in their right mind would leave the safety of Hell for the gun violence center of the multiverse.
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THOMAS: I'm sure that's an exaggeration.
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SCP-6693: You'd be surprised, as was I when I learned that the nearest Foundation site I could approach was halfway across the damn country.
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THOMAS: Why would we be your closest option?
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SCP-6693: You have a public-facing front company with an address that shows up on a GPS, rather rare for you guys, plus there's state-of-the-art humanoid containment specialization, minimal defenses, and, of course, not a single blessing along the perimeter since it first opened. Site-88 is perfect. It even has an on-campus crossroads, should I need one. Unfortunately, the travel ban included crossroads networks, necessitating my extensive pilgrimage from Arizona.
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THOMAS: Interesting. You seem well-informed, you know.
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SCP-6693: Information flows easily when you can offer things people sell their souls for. Some would understandably skirt policy to skirt death when learning Hell exists. Far be it from me to correct them on their notion that the outcome of death is a binary one or that Hell wouldn't at least be a step up for them.
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THOMAS: If this is a step down, why not flee the country yourself? I know South America is lovely this time of year.
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SCP-6693: I made the mistake of trying to get out once in, believe me. Your country has a… strangely archaic policy for asylum-seekers.
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<Agent Thomas' phone buzzes on the table briefly. She flips it over and studies the screen.>
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THOMAS:<Clears throat.> Okay. I think I get the picture, for the most part. I have more questions, but they will have to wait. I will say, this is highly unusual. However, I see no reason to believe we can't accommodate you, as long as you don't pull anything funny.
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SCP-6693:<Claps hands together joyfully.> Excellent news. You have no idea how much that eases my mind. I will get out of your hair and grab my things. Expect me back this evening so we can hammer out the fine print. There's that sidewalk junction between the reactors out back, the crossroads. Meet me there at three hours past midnight. Bring these items. Come alone.
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<SCP-6693 retrieves a small parchment from under the table, sliding it across to Agent Thomas.>
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THOMAS: Al-Alright. I will see you then.
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SCP-6693: I'm looking forward to working with you. I think you will find I'm very reasonable.
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<SCP-6693 promptly stands, pouring the remainder of its beverage onto the floor, breaking the protective circle and stepping out of the incomplete perimeter. The entity proceeds to leave the office and walk off campus in a brisk stride.>
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<END LOG>
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NOTE: Following this interview, an investigation conducted into the US-Mexico border wall in Yuma, Arizona revealed a segment comprised of unknown alloys that, when crawled underneath on one's stomach, provided direct passage to THEOLOGICAL PLANAR FIELD 77-34. The Yuma-based end of the passage (now designated LOI-6693) has been obfuscated from the public to prevent unwanted entry. At this time, no entities have been observed emerging from the threshold.
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Research into the origin of the materials suggests they were purchased at an extremely low cost from a known front company of Marshall, Carter & Dark, Ltd., though the exact reasoning behind their involvement in this transaction is unknown. Some speculation exists that the Administration of Donald J. Trump was approached by Marshall Carter & Dark, Ltd. at the request of Hr'asm'Kal, Lord of Menace, Holder of the Third Staff of Lies, Managing Director of the company's NYC branch, and avid supporter of the wall's construction at the time.
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Interviewing Party: Agent Yolanda Thomas, Asst. Dir. of Containment, Site-88
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Interviewee: SCP-6693
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Foreword: This is the transcript of SCP-6693's second intake interview, after which containment terms are first established. Interview conducted in the outdoor connecting pathways of Site-88 and surrounding yards. Security personnel equipped with various anti-chthonian sacrament are ordered to remain inside the facility on standby.
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<BEGIN LOG>
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<Agent Thomas is seen entering CCTV view on the left side of the frame, taking a sidewalk that merges with another at a junction between Site-88's nuclear reactors. The sky is dark, with light from the moon on the far side of the structures casting further shadow on the walkway. Thomas kneels beside the path along the crossroads. Her actions are not visible from this angle. A moment later, she stands and checks her watch.>
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SCP-6693: Somewhere to be?
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<The woman jumps in surprise as a figure emerges from shadow, confirmed as SCP-6693. The entity holds another, larger roll of parchment and a dark, oblong box with hinges and a clasp, approaching slowly.>
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THOMAS: Fucking Hell. Not cool.
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<SCP-6693 smiles slightly and walks towards the location Thomas kneeled at prior, the woman backing up in response.>
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SCP-6693: Relax. Why would I sabotage a chance at free room and board? In this economy? If I only wanted dinner and a show, I'd go to Medieval Times. The one in Lyndhurst just unionized, I hear. Good for them, though fifteen hundred years is a bit slow for that level of progress, don't you think?
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THOMAS: You do know that's a family-oriented theatrical reenactment and dining experience that opened like forty years ago, right? It doesn't represent the level of societal or technological progress shared by the rest of the country.
+
SCP-6693: I know. It's kind of sad, if you think about it. Should we get this show on the road? Or should we wait for the jousting to commence? Grab a flagon of Pepsi and a grilled cheese?
+
THOMAS: Okay, now I know you're just being a dick. Also, they don't serve grilled cheese.
+
SCP-6693: Why have tomato bisque but no grilled cheese? Your species confounds me.
+
THOMAS: They didn't have grilled cheese in 500 AD.
+
SCP-6693: They didn't have Pepsi, either. Anyway, did you bring me what I asked for?
+
THOMAS: Yes, though I am rather disconcerted by your request. Do I want to know what you plan to do with the bones of a snake and a handful of ashes from an urn of one of my ancestors?
+
<SCP-6693 retrieves a small pouch buried under the soil adjacent to the crossroads and loosens the drawstring, inspecting its contents.>
+
SCP-6693: Oh, nothing, honestly. I just wanted to make sure you were serious. I did tell you crossroads travel was not possible, didn't I? You can have these back, by the way. <Entity removes the bones from the bag and offers them to Agent Thomas.>
+
THOMAS:<Pauses.> They're yours. The snake doesn't need them anymore, trust me.
+
SCP-6693: Suit yourself. Now, to business.
+
THOMAS: Finally. Happy to say there's a windowless room with a few locks on the outside prepared just for you. Come, I'll show you. And no, we did not modify your fire sprinklers specifically so that they spray holy water in all directions at the press of a button.
+
SCP-6693: Oh, come now, don't be like that. I'm just messing with you. Besides, first, there's the matter of the contract.
+
<SCP-6693 unrolls the parchment and presents it to Agent Thomas, the box clicking open to reveal a quill nestled on bright red fabric.>
+
SCP-6693: You can run it by your legal team if you so desire… though it will draw this process out longer still, and, as you can see, the terms are very straightforward.
+
THOMAS:<Reading.> I mean, you're right, this is a pretty to-the-point contract—hold on, what is this?
+
SCP-6693: I feel like I'm being very clear. You want me contained, I want a comfortable, enjoyable, safe life in containment. I'm sure our goals can be achieved simultaneously.
+
THOMAS: I'll have to… uh… <Trails off.>
+
SCP-6693: Hm?
+
THOMAS: I think it would be best if we did get the legal department to look this over. Just… for our protection.
+
SCP-6693: Protection can be arranged.
+
<END LOG>
+
+
NOTE: After consulting the Site-88 Legal Department, the terms of SCP-6693's contract were deemed sufficiently fair and the entity's containment sufficiently necessary to approve. SCP-6693 was moved to a secure humanoid containment chamber fitted with basic amenities. A team of ten personnel total are considered legally "responsible" for the entity's care and containment, and thus are required to enact PROCEDURE 66-TARTARUS at SCP-6693's behest.
+
+
+
+
+
Interviewing Party:
+
+
Dr. Christina Morse, Asst. Dir. of Research, Site-88
+
+
+
Jr. Researcher R. Sekelsky, Research and Development, Site-88
+
+
Interviewee: SCP-6693
+
Foreword: Routine intake interview of SCP-6693. Conducted within Provisional Site-6693, a proprietary containment area built specifically for the entity following contract revision 6693-10c.
+
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
Dr. Morse: So, how are you enjoying the new arrangements, SCP-6693?
+
SCP-6693: Really stellar work, guys. I know the dimmer switches were a pain to install, should've warned you about the ballasts not being compatible, but you figured it out and here we are!
+
Dr. Morse: Indeed. I'm glad they are to your liking. And the cool white is not too blue for the space? There was some worry it could cause eyestrain.
+
SCP-6693: Don't worry about it, it's fine for now. Although, a soft white is definitely more my speed.
+
<Researcher Sekelsky is seen taking notes on a small pad of lined paper.>
+
Dr. Morse: Soft white. We'll keep that in mind.
+
SCP-6693: Thanks. You guys are the best.
+
Dr. Morse: Much appreciated. We want to ensure our mutually-beneficial relationship stays mutually-beneficial, of course. In fact, we were hoping it might be a good time to request something of you, if you would be so amenable.
+
SCP-6693: Oh?
+
Dr. Morse: Yes. <Pauses.> I'm aware we just wrapped up proceedings for revision 10e, so I don't expect this request to be implemented any time soon. However, we were wondering if, well…
+
Sekelsky: —Can we have, like, padded headgear or something? Anything?
+
<Silence.>
+
SCP-6693: And why would that be necessary?
+
Sekelsky: Wh—
+
<Dr. Morse is seen elbowing Sekelsky in the ribs.>
+
Dr. Morse: Don't worry about it. We'll revisit this topic later, I suppose.
+
SCP-6693: Good answer! Now, do the thing! Do it!
+
<Dr. Morse and Sekelsky hesitate, look into each others' eyes, then proceed to perform PROCEDURE 66-TARTARUS.>
+
SCP-6693:<Laughs heartily.> Yeah! Again, again!
+
<Dr. Morse and Sekelsky perform PROCEDURE 66-TARTARUS. Sekelsky is bleeding, but the wound responsible cannot be determined due to a plethora of other various contusions on his face. He lists slightly in his seat.>
+
SCP-6693: Alright, one more! For the road!
+
Sekelsky: Please—
+
SCP-6693:One more for the road, you worthless pile of meat.
+
<Dr. Morse and Sekelsky perform PROCEDURE 66-TARTARUS. Sekelsky falls out of his chair and does not get back up.>
+
SCP-6693: Oh, shit. Maybe I should think about that headgear request. Impressive right hook though, Morse.
+
<Dr. Morse does not respond, her face also covered with injuries in differing stages of healing. Her split lip trembles momentarily, bloodied nose emitting a small sniffle.>
+
SCP-6693:<Sighs.> Okay, we're done here. Wait—I almost forgot. Fridge is nearly empty, make sure you get on that, soon. Fill it with eggs; I've been hiding them for the cleaning crew to find. Great way to pass the time. I even got one into Sekelsky's back pocket earlier. Doesn't seem like he noticed. Anyhoo, off you go.
+
<Morse stares wordlessly. She then stands and steps cautiously over the body on the floor, exiting the room shortly thereafter.>
+
<END LOG>
+
+
NOTE: Jr. Researcher Sekelsky was recovered and transported to Site-88's medical bay 4, where he was treated for a concussion and an intraocular lens dislocation of the left eye. SCP-6693 found Sekelsky's latter injury mildly distressing and subsequently approved the addition of a clause in revision 6693-10f, allowing use of protective eyewear for all ten members of its care team.
Special Containment Procedures: A remote surveillance system monitors the entrance to SCP-6807, currently an industrial-grade steel door. At no point may personnel on exploratory missions sit or recline on the stairs.
+
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Description: SCP-6807 is a red-carpeted staircase, accessed from an unmarked door in Kyoto's sewers. The staircase does not breach the surface, despite extending far beyond the requisite length to do so. Paintings hang from the brick walls at regular intervals.
+
Individuals or objects ascending SCP-6807 will travel normally until reaching around 30-40 meters in vertical height, after which they will spontaneously relocate to a lower point on the staircase. This transition is seamless, and affected individuals will not notice the change in elevation unless told. No accurate measurement of SCP-6807's true height has yet been taken.
+
An additional set of anomalous features have been identified but not studied in detail. See addendum below.
+
+
Addendum 6807.1: Exploration Log
+
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Mission Intent: Ascertain any differences that emerge from the baseline anomaly after long-term exploration. Agent Gera led the solo exploration, with Agent Villareal acting as command. Two back-up agents acted as emergency recovery at the stair's base.
+
+
(Agent Gera opens the door to SCP-6807. Visibility drastically reduces.)
+
Gera: Ascending the stairs.
+
Command: Copy that.
+
(Gera activates her headlight, revealing the dimly lit staircase, and ascends steadily, the two recovery agents staying at the bottom. The carpet muffles her footsteps as she climbs. Reaching 10 meters vertically, she sees her first pair of paintings.)
+
Gera: Two of the usual.
+
Command: Good to see it hasn't changed. If you see any variation, let us know.
+
Gera: Gotcha.
+
(Gera ascends 20 more meters, occasionally viewing different copies of the same paintings as before. Command detects a sudden drastic change in her location.)
+
Command: Agent, read your altitude bar.
+
Gera: 10 meters. That's the loop?
+
Command: Exactly. Any differences?
+
Gera: Nope. It's like I'm seeing the same thing over and over!
+
(Command and Gera laugh. Gera continues ascending. Feed detects no audio save her calm breathing and soft footsteps.)
+
Gera: … you hear that?
+
Command: Negative.
+
Gera: It's a… no I can… Nevermind.
+
Command: What's that, agent?
+
Gera: Like a tone, y'know? A background noise. I thought, anyways.
+
(Audio detects zero additional noise. Gera continues ascending, looping three times along the staircase. She encounters a set of paintings.)
+
Command: Stop.
+
Gera: What?
+
Command: Look at the painting to the right.
+
+
+
Painting found in SCP-6807. Artist or origin unknown.
+
+
+
(Gera turns accordingly. See image.)
+
Gera: Nothing unusual.
+
Command: We weren't sure, is all. Thought we saw something different.
+
Gera: Right, right. Pretty, isn't it?
+
(Gera continues ascending. After completing another loop, she freezes.)
+
Gera: … again.
+
Command: Repeat?
+
Gera: The noise, it's… it's here again. I can't tell where it's from. It's like a constantly increasing tone, y'know? Upping in pitch. It's here now.
+
Command: We can't hear it, agent. We should pull you back i-
+
Gera: No, no, I… I can continue.
+
Command: Copy that.
+
(Gera continues ascending at a quicker pace, staying on the right side of the stairs. No detected changes in surroundings.)
+
Gera: It's like a… what do you call them? It just keeps going up and up, and at some point it—
+
(Gera freezes again.)
+
Command: Agent?
+
Gera: Where's it coming from…
+
Command: Again, we can pull you back—
+
Gera: I better continue. I— I better go up.
+
(Gera continues on the right side of the stairs.)
+
Gera:(mumbling) I'm coming, damn it, I'm coming!
+
Command: Agent?
+
(Gera increases her pace further still. Her breathing quickens and her footsteps turn louder.)
+
Command: Agent? Agent Gera, do you copy?
+
Gera: It's coming from behind. I— I need to go up quicker, she needs me to.
+
Command: Agent, we advise you to descend the stairs.
+
Gera: It's a… a Shepard tone! I need to… he's coming from behind and I need to—
+
Command: Agent, go down the stairs!
+
+
+
Painting found to the left of SCP-6807. Artist or origin unknown.
+
+
+
(Gera glances to the painting on the left, and freezes.)
+
Gera: He's laughing!
+
(Gera runs up the right side of the staircase. Shallow breathing and pounding steps fill the audio feed. She skips steps, striding from one to another, while occasionally glancing at the paintings to her left.)
+
Command: Gera, stop!
+
Gera: Go away! Go awa—
+
(Gera trips on a step and falls forward. She pants on the stairs.)
+
Command: Gera, are you OK?
+
Gera: I can… I can…
+
Command: Please, all you need to do is descend the stairs. It's only 10 meters down.
+
(Gera turns over on her back and removes her headlight. Feed detects a light rushing sound. She rubs her forehead.)
+
Gera: Ugh… goddamn it.
+
Command: Gera.
+
Gera: Hold on, hold on. Just… she— it told me to stay away from— from the left. The laughing—
+
Command: We'll deal with it later. For now, just exit the stairs.
+
(She sits up and breathes heavily.)
+
Gera: OK, hold on. Just gotta—
+
(The headlight has disappeared. The rushing sound increases.)
+
Gera: Oh god… where did it go, where did it go-
+
Command: Gera, calm down. I mean it.
+
Gera: Why is it— why is it cold?
+
Command: Hold on to the stairs.
+
Gera: What?
+
Command: Hold. On. To the stairs.
+
Gera: OK, OK, I— I can see the base. I can get—
+
(A force knocks Gera back, and she desperately holds on to a step. Command detects a rapid increase in her upward acceleration, with no matching displacement. One of her hands slips off.)
+
Gera: I can't! I can't hold on, fuck!
+
Command: Hold on to the next step. Crawl down to the recovery agents, you got this.
+
Gera: The tone… the tone is getting louder!
+
Command: Forget the tone! Get down there!
+
Gera: I'm gonna sli—
+
(Camera tumbles upward. Feed detects immense wind and Gera's grunts.)
+
Command: Gera, do you read?!
+
(Grunting continues.)
+
Command: Gera!
+
Gera: Yahyahyahyahyahyahyahyahyahyahyah-
+
(Camera slams into a wall. Feed detects a crunching noise before cutting out.)
+
+
On-site personnel reported a low-pitched laughing noise originating from SCP-6807's stairhead after Agent Gera's disappearance. Until the circumstances of this disappearance are identified, further exploration is forbidden.
+
Filename: painting-2.png
+Author:GremlinGroup, Brian Gratwicke, William Warby
+License: CC BY-SA 3.0
+Source Link:SCP Foundation Wiki
+Derivative of:
+
+
Name: Alligator Snapping Turtle (Macrochelys temminckii)
+Author: Brian Gratwicke
+License: CC BY 2.0
+Source Link:Flickr
+
+
Name: Mud Texture
+Author: William Warby
+License: CC BY 2.0
+Source Link:Flickr
+
+
+
Filename: painting-1.png
+Author:GremlinGroup, liz west, Rhian, -JvL-, Ed Uthman
+License: CC BY-SA 3.0
+Source Link:SCP Foundation Wiki
+Derivative of:
+
+
Name: blue fungus
+Author: liz west
+License: CC BY 2.0
+Source Link:Flickr
+
+
Name: Fungus texture
+Author: Rhian
+License: CC BY 2.0
+Source Link:Flickr
+
+
Name: Prison
+Author: -JvL-
+License: CC BY 2.0
+Source Link:Flickr
+
+
Name: Emerald & Diamond Tiara
+Author: Ed Uthman
+License: CC BY 2.0
+Source Link:Flickr
Special Containment Procedures: No containment procedures for SCP-6816 are necessary at this time. If found, Foundation personnel are free to use and retain ownership over the objects originally manifested by SCP-6816.
+
+
+
Colored paperclips manifested by SCP-6816, discovered within a storage closet.
+
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Description: SCP-6816 is the designation given to a reoccurring anomalous phenomenon affecting all known Foundation sites and facilities. SCP-6816 is characterized by the sudden appearance of various types of stationery office supplies, including ball-point pens, pencils, highlighters, boxes of stapler pins, and colored paperclips.
+
These objects usually appear within closed but easily accessible areas, such as underneath work desks, inside filing cabinets, between folders, and sometimes within wastebaskets. Despite this, these objects are otherwise non-anomalous and can be used with their intended function.
+
SCP-6816 was at first thought to be the result of Foundation personnel's negligence towards their own individual office items. However, during an attempt to renovate the second floor of Site-400's Western expansion, construction staff discovered a large stash of stapler pins and paperclips previously located within a closet.
+
Following this incident, Dr. Gerald Hogan of the Department of Theoretical Hypothetics voluntarily launched an official investigation analysis into this event, eventually leading to the discovery of SCP-6816.
+
The investigation into the exact origins of SCP-6816 is currently still ongoing.
+
Addendum 6816.1: Investigation Voice Recording
+
+
► Play
+
+
DR. HOGAN: Dr. Gerald Hogan here, and this is day one on the investigation regarding the origins of SCP-6816.
+
This elaborate mystery has certainly puzzled and perplexed a lot of people, including me, surprisingly enough. I've already asked all of my close colleagues to join me in finally solving this bewildering conundrum, but unfortunately, a great deal of them are too grief-stricken after figuring out about the flabbergasting incident with Dr. McKinley.
+
But no matter! I am, after all, the great Gerald Hogan. One of, if not the, greatest researcher and analyst in the various fields of hypothetical theoretics, and how can I forget, the most honorable and respected member of the Found-
+
(The knocking of a door.)
+
DR. HOGAN: …Come in?
+
(Creaking)
+
UNKNOWN: Dr. Hogan, is it?
+
DR. HOGAN: Yeah, you're looking at him. Who might you be, young man? And why are you… staticky?
+
UNKNOWN: Ah, of course. Apologies for not introducing myself sooner. I am somewhat new to this.
+
I am Dr. Exempli Gratia von Etcetera, of the Unreality Department. That may explain my bluriness.
+
DR. HOGAN: Unreality Department? Never heard of it.
+
DR. E.G ETC.: Exactly. (pauses) Though, I must say that I've never heard of the "Department of Theoretical Hypothetics".
+
DR. HOGAN: So, you're here to, what? Insult my work, is it?
+
DR. E.G ETC.: No, of course not, doctor. I'm merely a… representative for my Department.
+
DR. HOGAN: Why are you here then?
+
DR. E.G ETC.: Dr. Hogan, I'm here to inform you that by order from the Overseer Council, the investigation you're currently leading is now closed. We appreciate your service, but it seems we've already figured out what's causing SCP-6816.
+
DR. HOGAN: Really? Darn it. Knew it was too good to be true. (sighs) And I'm assuming since they sent you, I won't be able to know what's causing it?
+
DR. E.G ETC.: Don't worry, Dr. Hogan. I have brought with me an SCP file that would certainly be of great interest to you. (rustling) Here you go.
+
DR. HOGAN: Right. (pauses) I like the fancy binder.
+
DR. E.G ETC.: (chuckles) Well, working for an obscure Department doesn't necessarily mean you gotta lose your sense of style.
+
DR. HOGAN:Right?
+
+
■ Stop
+
+
Addendum 6816.2: Attached File
+
+
+
SCP-████-ARC
+[REDACTED COPY]
+
+
+
+
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Item № #: SCP-████-ARC
+
Containment Class: Void.Void: Item was created for the purposes of terminating [DATA CONSUMED].
+
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+
Special Containment Procedures: N/A
+
Description: SCP-████-ARC is the designation given to an anomalous form of [DATA EXPUNGED], initially developed by the Department of Unreality with the sole purpose of creating an anomaly suitable for the use of [DATA EXPUNGED].
+
Essentially, SCP-████-ARC would automatically probe and explore the collective human Noosphere.Noosphere: The "sphere" of consciousness and mental activity synchronized to a collective species/organism., and discover which idealized concept is considered by itself to be the largest form of ongoing entropy.Entropy: A system of disorder or chaos..
+
SCP-████-ARC would then proceed to heavily centralize and instead directly ameliorate the chosen entropic concept, enhancing and refining it as time goes on. Eventually, the concept would be wholly "purified", thus rendering SCP-████-ARC useless.
+
Update: SCP-████-ARC is currently in use for the concept of [DATA EXPUNGED]. The amelioration process is still ongoing.
+
+
+
+
Wait, so if this anomaly more or less improves the largest form of entropy, does that mean that the entropic concept it chose was… [Gerald, Dr. Hogan.]
+
+
+
Correct, doctor. It chose exactly what you think it chose. [von Etcetera, Dr. Exempli Gratia.]
+
+
+
Addendum 6816.3: Recovered Video Recording
+
The following footage was captured before the SCP-6816 phenomenon began, citing its importance:
+
+
Video Log 6816.54
+
Location: Memetic Research Lab, Site-400
+
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
The Memetic Research Lab is unoccupied, save for two individuals seated at their respective work desks. The first individual, identified as Foundation personnel Dr. Abigail North, is busily typing on her personal laptop whilst also taking quick glances at the clipboard next to her.
+
The second individual, identified as Foundation personnel Dr. Albert Gunnings, is lifting up various folders and work files, as if in search of something. He sighs and proceeds to kneel down under his desk. A banging sound is heard, followed by a grunt. Dr. Gunnings finally stands up and puts his hands on his hips disapprovingly.
+
Dr. Gunnings: (calls out) Hey, Abby? Abby!
+
Dr. North: (under her breath) Jesus. (looks up and shouts) What d'ya want, Al?
+
Dr. Gunnings: You got a red pen I could borrow? I can't find mine for some reason. I swear I put it on my desk yesterday. Can you help me out?
+
Dr. North: Seriously?
+
Dr. Gunnings: What?
+
Dr. North:Your pen, Al? I lent you my pen a week ago! I still haven't fucking seen it, Al.
+
Dr. Gunnings: Shit… (pauses and scratches head) You got a spare one by any chance?
+
Dr. North takes out a metal pencil case from her desk drawer and proceeds to throw it point-blank in the direction of Dr. Gunnings' head. The case hits its target, and Dr. Gunnings cries out in pain, whilst clutching his head.
+
<END LOG>
+
+
After reviewing the above footage, it was decided by the majority of the Ethics Committee that the actions of Dr. Abigail North were completely justified and were within reasonable grounds. As such, no disciplinary action would take place against Dr. North.
Edifices adapted for the drastically changing nature of human activities and environments after SCP-6883. Not pictured are the remaining 6 billion individuals on the planet, smear marks, and cockroach droppings.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures
+
As of September 15, 2025, SCP-6883 is deemed neutralized after the widespread application of the Ennui Protocol. Edifices and natural environments are to be remodeled to temporarily accommodate the new body structures and nature of human beings. A worldwide return to the standard human form is expected within three months.
The Czech Republic is to be monitored for manifestations of SCP-6883, while MTF Kappa-083 ("Surrealist Catchers") is mandated to track any SCP-6883-1 instances. Meanwhile, Foundation webcrawlers must focus on keywords such as 'human cockroach', 'vermin', 'mid-life crises', and 'metamorphosis'.
+
Psychological counseling and interviews are to be provided to select victims, particularly Foundation personnel. A review of work ethics and standards in the Foundation is pending for Foundation personnel.
+
Update (May 3, 2025): Containment Procedures are to be applied worldwide. All reports, publications, or posting of disappearances related to SCP-6883 must be removed from the Internet.
+
Update (June 7, 2025): As per the orders of the Administrator, the Foundation is mandated to switch from combatting the spread of SCP-6883-1 to promoting and providing aftercare for affected individuals.
SCP-6883 refers to the spontaneous transfiguration of human individuals, generally workers and salary people, into human-sized entities resembling the American cockroach (Periplaneta americana). It is mainly localized to 12 cities in the Czech Republic, particularly in Prague.
+
The primary victims of SCP-6883, designated SCP-6883-1, are individuals who suffer from moderate or severe depression, are overworked, and have experienced burnout episodes. Another common trait is that they have histories of failures, as well as traumatic events.
+
SCP-6883 manifestations primarily occur at nighttime, when the victims have entered deep sleep. After approximately two hours of deep sleep, a cocoon will rapidly wrap around the subject, demanifesting after the individual wakes up, now a fully-turned SCP-6883-1 instance. Once converted, the individual will experience limited mobility and cognitive dissonance, although their sanity notably remains at a baseline level over long observation periods. Attempts to break the cocoons have unilaterally ended in failure. Noospheric, memetic, and psychological techniques are similarly ineffective in communicating with the victim.
+
Interviews indicate that the dreams of SCP-6883-1 instances mainly occur from the first-person point of view and consist of crawling through a variety of landscapes, greeneries, and empty fields with intensified feelings of euphoria.
+
Many instances have often described a Baroque-style castle overgrown with trees, referred to as SCP-6883-2. It is described as featuring towers composed of documents, papers, and office supplies. Notably, Foundation personnel report that this castle evoked strong nostalgia and longing. Upon entering SCP-6883-2, the subjects report experiencing a feeling of lightheadedness, which is followed by cessation of sleep.
+
They also report seeing SCP-6883-3, often described as 'building-sized piles of scrap and blocks' composed of foliage, machines, and several greeneries, that can assemble into a man'. SCP-6883-1 instances often express mild hostility upon discussion of SCP-6883-3, calling it an affront to their happiness. In reality, SCP-6883-3 refers to the 43,500 metric tons of metallic and organic blocks currently stored in Site-345, near the Alpine Mountains delineating Italy and Austria.
+
+
+
Aviatica Background Report
+
+
+
GoI-503's logo since 1990.
+
+
+
+
+
+
Analysis indicates that SCP-6883 is connected with GoI-503 ("Aviatica").An anomalous journalistic organization focused on publicity stunts and large-scale social change., which in turn links back to the Administrator, a former reporter and journalist. As Aviatica is decentralized and composed of journalistic cells led by an officer called an Arch-editor, as well as its dealings with the anomalous world, regular contact with its constituents has been difficult to fully establish, although delegations are sent to entertain Aviatica's offers. Aviatica primarily compensates for its insufficient manpower and physical scope via the use of avian drones, robotics, software, and information-based deals.
+
Due to Aviatica's connections with several high-profile news outlets and anomalous groups, the Foundation currently pursues a cordial working relationship with it as a source of information in the anomalous and occult in exchange for secrecy, protecting journalists and providing potential scoops. Meanwhile, both GoIs are receptive to inculcating each other's members.
+
The Administrator has approximately 10 years of service under Aviatica, before moving to the Foundation as an Agent. They have been involved in the highly classified EVNT-ALPINE-01, an Aviatican expedition to the Western parts of the Alpine Mountains to investigate an anomaly connected to SCP-6883, as well as a failed peace treaty involving several anomalous entities such as the life-givers of the forest.
+
+
+
O5-13 Interview-6883 Report
+
O5-13, stationed in the Czech Republic, is one of the individuals affected by SCP-6883. On May 19, 2025, they were interviewed via an online meeting subjected to heavy memetic filters. Although O5-13 can no longer vocalize their thoughts, they were still able to perform tasks using a keyboard. The details of the conversation are provided below:
Interviewer:Doctor Sandford Gregorius (lead researcher, SCP-6883)
+
+
+
+
Dr. Gregorius: Good morning, Thirteenth Overseer.
+
O5-13: to you gregor
+
Dr. Gregorius: It's nice seeing you nice and lively as always, Overseer. but the most pressing matter right now is your condition. A lot of people outside have become the same as you.
+
Dr. Gregorius: We were hoping you could help us out by sharing your feelings right now, your thoughts… anything you want to say could contribute to understanding this anomaly.
+
O5-13: i woke up and i was by the bed
+
O5-13: under the bed
+
O5-13: i didn't really understand at first i didn't really react
+
O5-13: i laid there
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O5-13: when you're in this position you don't really think anything is going to happen to you
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O5-13: i was at [REDACTED DUE TO SECURITY CONCERNS] you know how the rooms are and the wallpaper
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No communication for a hundred and twenty seconds.
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Dr. Gregorius: Is everything alright, Overseer? Do you feel like stopping here and maybe picking the interview up from where we left off another time?
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O5-13: i'm here i want to go on
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O5-13: it's the wallpaper
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O5-13: i feel fine however it was the disorientation that was killing me at first
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O5-13: you have woken up on the floor looking at the ceiling but you have never felt like this
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O5-13: the enormous room and the minuscule you
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O5-13: the ceiling looking like it's kilometers away
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O5-13: it's simply different
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O5-13: we all turned overnight both in the site and the town it's in
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O5-13: in the morning the scuttling was deafening
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O5-13: i felt it vibrating through me not heard it
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O5-13: you know why
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No communication for a hundred seconds.
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Dr. Gregorius: Overseer, could you tell us anything about the consequences of your… newfound physical limitations?
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O5-13: i didn't move until the task force found me
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O5-13: i was on my back
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O5-13: and now i don't move that much
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O5-13: i can't interact with my surroundings
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O5-13: there's no real reason to move i'm faster but everything is so extremely far
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O5-13: the alpha1 agent assigned to me provides me with what i need
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O5-13: maybe it's a vicious cycle
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O5-13: you're going to say i am digressing
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O5-13: i can't feel my limbs and my wings feel heavy very useless
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O5-13: i can't hear sounds and the only thing i can smell is raw meat and shit
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O5-13: there's a kaleidoscopic filter to my vision
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O5-13: positive thing is cockroaches can't really hyperventilate
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O5-13: physically i mean
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O5-13: i'm trying to adapt but it's going to take me a while
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O5-13: is that enough
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Dr. Gregorius: Yes, Thirteen, that is perfect. How has your work been coming along? Have you delegated one of your people to carry out some tasks in your stead?
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O5-13: couldn't be elsewhere
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O5-13: one of our problems here was almost solved already
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O5-13: despite what some others think scp cs is strong enough to handle itself
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O5-13: their help has been invaluable so far
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O5-13: they don't need our supervision not to the current degree at least
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Dr. Gregorius: What anyone other than yourself thinks is irrelevant, Thirteen. Let's drop this line of questioning, shall we? What about dreams? How has your sleep been?
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O5-13: back to the regularly scheduled sterility
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O5-13: i've slept dreamless sleeps every night save yesterday and the night i turned
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O5-13: don't feel particularly rested in the mornings but nothing out of the ordinary
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Dr. Gregorius: That is not for you to determine, I'd say. Do you recall these two dreams you mentioned?
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O5-13: i don't
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No communication for eighty-five seconds.
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Dr. Gregorius: It doesn't work like this, Thirteen. Do you remember anything about these dreams? Everything is important when studying anomalies, come on.
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O5-13: the first dream was dull
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O5-13: i was crawling through a rice field, by the water
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O5-13: you know how rice fields are
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O5-13: it was hot i felt it on my wings
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O5-13: no i don't use them i don't know how to and don't want to. it was hot and humid and the field was empty
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O5-13: no people no animals not even crickets
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O5-13: everything was still and nothing made a sound
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O5-13: as i said dull
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O5-13: when i reached the end of the field i saw something at a short distance
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O5-13: a building like a castle or a medieval style house
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O5-13: considerably tall and large with half a dozen twisting towers protruding from its ceiling
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O5-13: it was made of some kind of smooth white stone
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O5-13: it reminded me of a ruined mansion i'd seen in tuscany back when i worked there
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O5-13: it felt out of place by the field
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O5-13: i moved closer
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O5-13: and that was how the dream ended
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O5-13: of yesterday's i recall little
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Dr. Gregorius: Alright, shoot… Ah, sorry for my crudeness, it's just that I am particularly invested in the SCP-6883 case.
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O5-13: i can see that
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O5-13: yesterday i saw the castle thing again
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O5-13: i entered it
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O5-13: and that was the end of the dream
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O5-13: i'm sorry my work ended up piling up on your desk again
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O5-13: it wasn't meant to be this way
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O5-13: i'll have one of my most trusted go back to 01 to help you out
+
Dr. Gregorius: No need, and no need to be sorry. It's my duty and I will carry it out gladly. After all, one more project is nothing compared to the ones I'm already working on. You're a hard-working man, Harold, and the fact that you only took a break due to… extreme health concerns, to put it lightly, does you more than justice. That reminds me — you should take breaks more often.
+
O5-13: it's your work just as it is mine
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Dr. Gregorius: It'll be mine for a long while more. The stream of things we have to do changes and grows in size and might as time goes on, but you have already laid more than enough bricks in the dam to contain it.
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O5-13: so you say
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O5-13: still this is a temporary setback i hope
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O5-13: i'll think about what to do once i get back in the meantime
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O5-13: between now and what else i don't know but i'll think
+
Dr. Gregorius: I'd say we're reaching the end of the interview, so I'll proceed to ask the final question. Are you feeling better?
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O5-13: feeling better how
+
Dr. Gregorius: Better in general. Less stressed, getting better sleep, this kind of better.
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O5-13: i have not been able to work
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O5-13: i am unsatisfied with being in a body that is not my own
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O5-13: i am feeling not unwell
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O5-13: my condition is all but exceptional though i thought my reaction would be worse
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Dr. Gregorius: That's not terrible to hear, then. We are done, I believe.
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O5-13: one last thing
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O5-13: could i suggest you take some time off this
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O5-13: this interview alone lasted too much
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O5-13: everyone has limits
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Dr. Gregorius: Different limits. If that is all, Thirteen, we can call it a day
One of the residences of the Administrator, previously used for Aviatican activities two decades ago.
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Five days after O5-13's interview, the following recording was obtained via secret data recorders implanted inside the Administrator's brain, under the orders of five O5 members lead by O5-1. The Administrator was resting in their home in Venice, Italy, as they conversed with Mr. K., a former colleague and a high-ranking officer of GoI-503 ("Aviatica").
With the Wings of Freedom, Rings the Bell of Progress
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Begin Log
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Individuals Involved:Mr. K. (Aviatica Arch-editor), Doctor Sandford Gregorius (Foundation Administrator)
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Mr. K: (Standing on top of a pillar, adjusting his visor.) So Gregorius, nice to see ya 'gain. Beh, I suppose that you have been living quite a -
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Dr. Gregorius: Get down from there, you idiot. You never learned from that damn sniper shot in Milan, huh? (Sighs.)
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Mr. K: (His visor slightly flashes and beeps, as he frowns, whispering.) Ahh, how cold. Look, Gregor, it was your fault that the guys noticed me, since you were too jumpy for some action. You still owe me a beer for that, you know. (Chuckles.)
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Dr. Gregorius: Svejk was pestering me too much during that time. Said that we had to get the kind of news to give 'im shivers or something like that. Well…
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Mr. K: Anyway, it's been some years already since that. How's your life as an admin?
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Dr. Gregorius: Hmmn, (Lights a cigarette.) About as good as the shit that occurred in Milan.
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Mr. K: (Pauses for five seconds. More beeping.) Ehh, even though it was a disaster that got burnt into your mind, Aviatica did get some data from that place. Or… (His head turns around, beeping. He frowns). Or… are you referring to that promise?
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Dr. Gregorius:Treba, you came here for that, no?
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The pillar begins to rise up, bending and folding in several directions. Mr. K is standing unmovingly on it.
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Mr. K: Of course, Administrator. Well, no pressure on ya, just keeping tabs here and there. But well, don't you think that it's time to cha -
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Dr. Gregorius: I can't, K. The Foundation is crippled by the same bureaucracy we saw everywhere. Throughout my 10-year tenure, nothing has practically changed. The same vicious cycle of papers to be filled, bureaucratic shit, pretty much anything that should be burnt under the sun. I can't do anything, not even my hopes for reforming everything, including the world, K. Even O5-13, the guy you wanted me to train, got consumed by it.
+
They sigh.
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Dr. Gregorius: Damn it, K. I'm really bad with promises.
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Mr. K: Hmmn, you couldn't handle it? Ahh, you were always the guy who said, "I'm gonna turn this place upside-down!" like a hotshot writer or somethin'.
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Dr. Gregorius: It's as hard as meeting Leggere's deadlines, you know.
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Mr. K: (Chuckles.) Huh, those are pretty good times. Seeing you on the bench and noddin' around was something we used for bets. Anyway, let's get to the point now. Just three days earlier, some of Aviatica's top brass received info on ya, and since you did pretty much a lotta stuff for us, we thought about informing you.
+
Mr. K snaps his fingers. The pillar that they are standing on begins to duplicate itself, connecting to Dr. Gregorius' home via tubing, wiring, and avian sculptures. After five minutes, the Administrator's home begins to resemble Milan's Castello Sforzesco. Mr. K. sighs.
+
Dr. Gregorius: What are you yapping about?
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Mr. K: To start with, Gregor, we only got sent to the Alps for a small expedition, with no shooting involved. (Narrows eyes.) You're prob' confusing the gun stuff with other places like Prague, Barcelona, or Caracas, or those blokes at Moscow… ah shit, we journalists are shot at too much. Anywa-
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Dr. Gregorius: Look, don't start bullshitting me about my time in Avia-
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Mr. K: Listen, we were sent there around 25 years ago to investigate the Castello. Not much happened there, except you being too jumpy. when exploring it. Remember it, Gregor.
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Dr. Gregorius: Hmmn, that ca- that castle's ringing something in my mind. I am not sure why though.
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Mr. K: Of course, Gregor. what's ringing in your mind must be the jokes we had about you fainting at the entrance of that place, saying something about 'changing the world as I promised to Crea' or something else. You know, when we found you, you were absolutely filled up with roaches coming from your mouth. We thought you died a bullshit death.
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Dr. Gregorius: Crea… damn it, I never got to paying my respects to her.
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Mr. K: What the hell are ya talkin' about, Gregor?
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Dr. Gregorius: Crea. The newbie reporter who exploded into pieces back at the Castello. We almost saved her, just before the roaches ate her out of nowhere! (The Administrator switches into a colder tone.)
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Mr. K: Crea, ehh - that expedition required us veterans, ya know.
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Dr. Gregorius: Oi, don't say that-
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A loud beeping sound is emitted from the visor of Mr. K.
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Mr. K: Well, well, well, whoever is this Crea you're talking about, or your memories… well, I won't comment on them further. However, the thaumaturgic readings we got from ya back at the castle are almost similar to what you're scatterin' around in this place. That's the gist of it.
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Dr. Gregorius: Look, K., I'm sorry, but you guys have a few screws loose. I have been functioning as an officer and an Administrator of the Foundation. Treba, at least most of the time. I just spent the rest of my free time getting drunk or enjoying cigars or whatever.
+
Mr. K: Oh well, investigating ya right now wouldn't lead to anything good. Look, Gregor, this is for our own sake. At that same place, at the Castello, something related to cockroaches is reappearing again. Better take note of it, you know, as our sources are just beginning to catch on. At the same time, you stink of the same readings involved with those roaches.
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Dr. Gregorius: Cockroaches, huh. (Appears to be slightly shocked.) Alright, alright, I will keep in mind what you have said.
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Mr. K: Also… one last thing. Don't stand too much on pillars. You might faint like you did in that castle.
The Administrator transformed into an SCP-6883-1 instance five days following their conversation with Mr. K. The phrase 'MUTARE MUNDI' was engraved on their carapace.
+
Footage involving the Administrator's behavior in the previous days has been analyzed after psychological investigations ordered by O5-1 has determined abnormal behavior on their part. The transcript of Log #55, which is the most notable due to its anomalous effects, is provided below. O5-13 do not recall the incidents that transpired in these logs after extensive psycho-memetic analysis.
The Administrator's quarters after their transformation into an SCP-6883-1 instance. Note the presence of chairs, as ordered by them, for the sake of 'humanized' comfort.
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Personnel Involved:Sandford Gregorius (Foundation Administrator), O5-13
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The two individuals scheduled a meeting behind closed doors, which was granted by the Ethics Committee. During the event, they were separated via a glass pane and were provided computers.
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O5-13: hey gregor. hows work in this room? O5-1 told us that its still a bit of a shock that you turned into a roach but hopefully things still work pretty fine
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Dr. Gregorius: well, the books are there, the laptop for roaches is on that table, and pretty much everything else is in those closets.
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Dr. Gregorius: my eyes, all of them, still take some time to adjust to the lighting and the fact that I get many images streaming into my head, but overall it's not a bad deal. i can see pitch-black stuff
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Dr. Gregorius: i have also been feeling pretty well and happy not much angst over getting turned into a roach
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O5-13: having compound eyes does wonders. must be good for sore eyes due to work.
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O5-13 heaves its body, with its wings and carapace slightly buzzing.
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O5-13: its too bad coffee tastes like shit to us roaches
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Dr. Gregorius: hmmn wasn't it the other way around with roaches in the coffee
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Dr. Gregorius: I remember your story about nescafe and cockroaches in their ground coffee
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O5-13: probably
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O5-13: lets get to the point now
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O5-13: i have received news about o5-1's plans for us of retirement or containment
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O5-13: they have started by confining us to our room,
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O5-13: but at least we can still be useful to the foundatoin
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Dr. Gregorius: seems like the perfect time to get rid of us.
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Dr. Gregorius: can't exactly blame him, though, despite his ambitions. to climb the ranks h
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Dr. Gregorius: he didn't… exactly trust me, even at the start. well, I was a journalist back then hahaha
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Dr. Gregorius: also, the fact that the Administrator got turned into an insect
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Dr. Gregorius: well, keeping that as a secret is bound to mess up stuff and security concerns.
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<Both are silent for several seconds.>
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O5-13: hmmn mind if I tell you something about the foundation? I wanted to let this out
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Dr. Gregorius: what's it about
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O5-13: do you ever feel like breaking the Veil
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O5-13: we spend so much burucracy tryin to maintain everything in secrecy
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O5-13: it stifled our dreams back then
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O5-13: you know
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O5-13: change the world and all
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Dr. Gregorius: but it's too late now to break the viel.
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Dr. Gregorius: anyway how did you plan to do it?
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O5-13: i wanted it to be somewhat gradual.
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O5-13: just like how leggere often taught us when we were setting up the magic cams and the bird drones so they don't squawk a lot on spy missions
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O5-13: I have a list or outline to do that and so far well err
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O5-13 rapidly flaps its wings, and raises one of its legs as a salute.
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O5-13: with the fondazione at helm we can guide everyone throughout the noosphere, maybe even tangle up with oneiroi
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O5-13: the sarkics, well, they can be dealt with easily.
O5-13: they can at least be on much better terms with us if we are more transparent
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O5-13: we can better protect the free ports, the antenelian pasages in milan
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O5-13: tenoktitlan's area in mexico
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O5-13: the guys at site-120 trying to fight off flesh gods
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O5-13: the weones at site-34 crying out 'SEKHO' as their battle cry, or say, company cheer, …. everyone, I think.
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O5-13: But then, those are just a pipe dream though
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O5-13 stomps their feet.
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Dr. Gregorius: change like that is not working. aviaticas decade long calls for political reforms being jackshit, and even my own pare
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O5-13: wha
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Dr. Gregorius: i have a question for you harold
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Dr. Gregorius: wuld you oppose the foundation if we did something like whiplashing the world
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Dr. Gregorius: of course no one will get hurt
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Dr. Gregorius: but the veil would break up like restaurants' windows when we were gettin' shot at
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Dr. Gregorius: its for like, the betterment of the world, you know
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O5-13: why are you asking that
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O5-13: It's not like we can do anything in this goddamn room hahahaha <Quickly goes silent.>
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O5-13: hmmn it's not a bad thought
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O5-13: but something that drastic is not something I really want
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O5-13: most of the time everything just gets fucked up
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O5-13: sure, the world changes, but more often than not, it turns into a world half-empty. Or half-full? you get the idea
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Both are silent for several seconds.
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O5-13: so i will probably oppose something like that
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O5-13: more often than not, strings are being pulled behind the scenes, tangling and causing the events to crash
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O5-13: aviatica often fucked up doing that sort of thing, im quite surprised that our friends over there are still kickin
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O5-13: it's why I get the rationale of the Foundation.
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O5-13:we just don't want to stir up so much trouble. We're methodical
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Dr. Gregorius: hahh you truly learnt a lot of things from K, eh
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Dr. Gregorius: I see what you mean
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Dr. Gregorius: though I don't necessarily agree with the bureaucratic part
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Dr. Gregorius: change is something that is not like a rash decision but
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O5-13: but?
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Dr. Gregorius: what if its something that's already decades in the making
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At this point, reality instability levels spike. The sentence 'I am beginning to remember now' manifests on the Administrator's carapace.
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End Log
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Begin Log
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The interior of the church in Broumov. It was crushed by an assembled SCP-6883-3, based on the Administrator's visions.
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Personnel Involved:Sandford Gregorius (Junior Aviatica Reporter), Mr. K (Aviatica Officer)
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A younger version of the Administrator is seated on the steps leading to the interior of a Baroque-style church in Broumov, Czech Republic. The church is unidentifiable and does not correspond to any known structure. However, it has a generally typical appearance with large spikes on its roof and a belfry tower nearby, save for massive overgrowth and foliage surrounding it. Meanwhile, a silhouette of a 100-meter-tall humanoid entity, SCP-6883-3, can be seen in the distance. The stomping of the entity can be heard, although the Administrator ignores it.
+
As he tries to stop a cockroach pestering him via his hands, the Administrator briefly enters the church. The song 'Waymaker' can be heard playing, while wooden automatons clad in navy blue and black, with armbands bearing the Aviatica logo, can be seen.
+
A casket can be found near the altar, surrounded by wreathes of flowers such as chrysanthemum and calla lilies. Most people had left, as the service had apparently ended. The Administrator converses with one automaton whose face is significantly blurred who called him, although he sighs. The automatons breaks into cockroach shells.
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After 30 minutes, the service concludes. The people then leave, heading towards the cemetery. Everyone is grouped in knots of three or five.
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Now with the casket interred in the cemetery, Mr. K, one of the few individuals with an organic appearance, approaches him. They talk on a nearby bench.
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Mr. K: Yo, Gregor. <Waves hand, as he takes a seat beside the Administrator. Both are silent for at least 30 seconds.> I'm sorry for your loss.
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Sandford Gregorius: … Don't be so… ah well… <The Administrator's hands curl up into balls, but then relax after a while.>
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Mr. K: <Looks around.> At least she would have liked this weather. You know, the girl in red… what's her name aga - <Turns silent.> It's a good thing we managed to at least get her back.
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Sandford Gregorius: …I suppose. It would have been somewhat cruel if, if she did not have the chance to at least see the damned sky. She often joked that it was so cloudy whenever she was in this godforsaken place. Even Britain showed her some of the sun, she said.
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Mr. K: From the looks of it… that girl, you know, she seemed to have really seen a lot of places. Lots of memories. Though it's sad that she got hit by those fuckers.
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Sandford Gregorius: Her parents, you know, even forgot their only daughter when I approached them about the funeral… those Fae… apparently, the Foundation had gotten 'em. Can't be sure where they are now exactly, or how they're rotting in a cell somewhere.
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Mr. K: …Well, let's, let's just… wait. I think I remember something now about the girl. A very faint memory, I guess. Gregor, do you know the one about the pen? I remember seeing it in an in-depth investigation of Crea.
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Sandford Gregorius: Hmmn… ah. The good ol' party trick Crea used to do. What of it?
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Mr. K takes out several Faber-Castell pens, all of which are dotted with holes near the knib. He ties a chrysanthemum flower and a string to each pen, before throwing them into the sky. The pens shoot up like a rocket, scattering red, blue, and yellow water.
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Mr. K: Compression… I never got tired of this trick.
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Sandford Gregorius: I jogged my head a lot of times, and I think these pens saved us once. Don't exactly know where, but I remember them zipping through like firecrackers through a sea of…
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Mr. K: Damned corporate beetle fairies. They had this stench that I can still smell up to now. When I remember it, the deal we tried to broker so that everyone - humans, faeries, fuck-ups, everything - could live in peace. Too bad we overstepped as journalists, so they say.
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Sandford Gregorius: Beetles, huh? Crea used to be amazed by those. Back when we were kids, we used to get a very long tube or stick up, poke some trees in the middle of nowhere, and those beetles would fall. Then we scoop 'em up, or put them in a Tupperware container. (Chuckles.) Then we would be content for the whole day, at least until the beetles would start a revolution and somehow get the hell out of the container.
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Mr. K: Hmmn… it's amazing that you changed from that into a journo ready to throw flashbangs when needed.
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Sandford Gregorius: Well… that carelessness makes people screw up so badly… fuck that.
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Both are silent for at least three minutes. The visor of Mr. K beeps steadily and more rapidly.
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Sandford Gregorius: Ah, I remember something else that Crea said. Always give the last straw, the poslední kapka, or something like that. Even if it takes your identity. For her, it was for the happiness of the people. As a journo… well, I once told her that sort of thinking is stupid. As journalists, we hang out with motherfuckers all the time. But you see… she told something else. Do everything, she said. Live like a goddamn adventuring reporter, you know? Something like that?
+
The Administrator wipes his eyes.
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She also said some weird stuff like "functionality transcends form and shape at all costs", especially when we were comparing beetles and humans back then… ahhh. Damn it.
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Mr. K: <Sighs.> Oi, oi, oi. Don't keep it bottled up. I know being stoic is one of your things, but… but, ah.
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Sandford Gregorius: Oh well. K… I have been thinking about something. A question boiling in my mind.
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Mr. K: Hmm, what's it?
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Sandford Gregorius: Aviatica, you know, has that sort of calm, suave stance on everything. Not so militaristic - a very hopeful group of journalist nerds pushing for reforms and shit. Something, something like Crea, you know? But… you see, do you think the day will come when something drastic, a whiplash, you know, is needed for this world?
+
Mr. K: Well… hasn't that been practiced pretty much everywhere? Most declarations of independence, 'round the world'. The Intelligentsia Uprising of the Free Ports. The Foundation-Aviatica Wars. Those times when the Philippines or pretty much the whole of Southeast Asia got fuckin' reset six times by our guys and a snake. Something like that, no? Well…
+
Sandford Gregorius: Well?
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Mr. K: I don't really like those. The Philippines, for example, even if it got reset several times, still have nothing good enough occurring. Still a third world country, and in a state, you can't describe as 'better'. These events, you know, seem to bring more chaos than expected. I mean, sure, something good happens - would suck if that's not the case. In any case… <A phone rings.> Ah, something's come up. You ok if I leave ya here for a moment?
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Sandford Gregorius: <Fidgets for a few seconds, smoothening his suit.> Ah, sure.
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After a few minutes, the Administrator, now alone, begins to tear up, chuckling occasionally. The surroundings begin to drastically change, as he takes out a business card, labelled 'Castello'. It is shining, and the text on the card changes at a moment's notice.
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Sandford Gregorius: Ah, damn it. At least those beetles brought something good to me. Crea… damn it, I won't fuck up this time. I remember everything now… why, why I of all the people of Aviatica, had been brought to the Foundation.
+
A cockroach swarm then manifests, preying over the wooden automatons. Overgrowth of the trees and plants in the area also occurs, destroying the cemetery and making several buildings collapse in the vicinity. Meanwhile, the entity, now identified to be an amalgamation of SCP-6883-3, is closing into the Administrator, destroying the church in the process. The Administrator stands still, chuckling.
+
The land where the casket was buried begins to inflate and rumble, revealing a large cockroach. It obtains several massive gashes that leak liters of colorless blood and becomes paralyzed at the end as it fights SCP-6883-3, although it wins and manages to return SCP-6883-3 into pieces. The cockroach that was previously pestering the Administrator also grows in size, and devours him. The remains, composed of bone and tissue, begin to turn into smaller cockroaches that then swarm.
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End Log
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Begin Log
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A room located in SCP-6883-2.
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Personnel Involved:Sandford Gregorius (Just a normal cockroach), POI-6883
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The Administrator, still in human form, is in the middle of a medieval-style room, carrying a bulk of paperwork.
+
Administrator: Ahh, you damn idiot. Is this what you meant by a warm-up? Reviewing tax forms and documents for your daily life, ha?
+
A shrill buzzing sound can be heard, followed by the laughter of a glasses-wearing woman in a long-sleeved shirt and culotte. The woman fixes her braided hair.
+
Administrator: Oi, you, what's with the get-up? After 20 years, this is what your fashion sense amounted to?
+
POI-6883: You really are quite rude, Gregor, even two decades into the future. Is it bad for a nature goddess to wear clothing like this? Yes, I represent roaches, but technically, I still am a goddess, and I have the power to wear anything I want. You know, you know, it's boring to just always wear white, or a carapace.
+
Administrator: You tell me. For starters, wearing wildly contrasting colors somewhat hurts my eyes. Two, the glass frames do not fit your jaws. Three, I don't think that this type of clothing is… conducive enough for things like human observation, like you always do.
+
POI-6883: Hmmn… human observation eh. You see, Gregor, I was trying to play a scenario with this clothing. A friendless, ordinary, college school girl - something like that and without my memories to boot. Well… it's not… <POI-6883 becomes silent.> Well, it didn't turn out so bad? Dodged a few bullets here and there, and well… <POI-6883's face considerably contorts, frowning.> the worst thing I suffered from was being splashed with Listerine. That hurts a lot for a roach.
+
Both of them turn silent, with the Administrator sighing.
+
POI-6883: Any- anyway, how was it? The 20-year overdue stay, iya, more like an illegal settlement, at the Foundation? Up to this day, I still can't believe I managed to wring in those heathens from the Forest to help us out despite our actual plan with them, so you better have good results, Gregor.
+
Administrator: …it wasn't what I had expected. Two whole decades of backbreaking work, bureaucracy, as I climbed through the ranks from an Agent to an Administrator. Few, lucky strokes, I guess. But I kept my end of the deal when I visited you at the Castello.
+
The Administrator snaps their fingers. The room dematerializes, and they and POI-6883 manifest in the observation room of Site-354, where SCP-6883-3's remains are contained under Class-A Protocols.
+
POI-6883: Ahh, so the mighty Uomino has collapsed even under the Foundation's iron boots. If this wasn't only a vision, then I could mock him more effectively.
+
Administrator:Crea, when we found it in the Alps, it was already heavily broken down, though still functioning. Ahh, I wonder if it has a connection with a certain nature, nah, idiot goddess here. Anyway, we delivered a grand beating to it, so it broke down into pieces we stashed somewhere in those mountains and then called it a day. Also, it was still functioning with a massive amount of thaumaturgic energy, so we implemented some tubing and cables to drain it. We'll be going there anyway, after I dealt… <The voice lowers.>
+
Ahhh, not exactly an easy thing to do, to be honest. Treba, if this thing wasn't attacked by those greenland inhabitants of… yore, well, the Italian and German branches would be in the dregs right now. <Chuckles.>
+
POI-6883: Uomino… are you sure that It wouldn't be awakening anytime soon. It would suck if -
+
Administrator: Well, I'm confident it will work. <Takes out a cigarette.>
+
POI-6883: Alright, alright. Looks like our next targets are focused on the Forest, Gregor… I almost couldn't hold it in when they killed me just a year after we made a deal. It was your idea though - we cockroaches are hardy and will survive fools like those, but we wouldn't be able to meet again to provide… emotional growth for you, I suppose?
+
Administrator: Hmmn… '"Functionality over form", right, Crea? If you exterminated them, we wouldn't have… an energy source for our grand salvo, and the Foundation would just be pissed. This is a game of planning and waiting, after all, as well as setting bets far into the future.
+
POI-6883: Waiting, and waiting, and waiting… huh. You always made me wait, ever since we found each other as you ran away from your blazing village, Gregor. Those beetles - the Scarabei - were really a blight on the world, and it seems that based on your dreams and fabricated memories, they really got lodged into your mind. Then we separated, you know?
+
Administrator: I… ahh, I don't exactly know anymore. The stunts I pulled with my mind aren't particularly, well, good.
+
POI-6883: Haah, it's fine, it's fine. Then you joined Aviatica - full of journalists who knew nothing better to do but want a better world by releasing the truth. You instead had to worry about your backs being shot by mooks, and nothing of actual note, aside from the stunts, happened.
+
Then I had you got to the Foundation as a final measure - I do apologize for perverting your ideals as a journalist. But it was all for a chance to see if you can still fix the world, and for the sake of finding Uomino, that abomination. Ahh, I really forced a lot on you, haven't I? Still, you really… changed. Like a bleakened moth coming out of its cocoon.
+
Administrator: Nah… <Sighs.> It's, it's fine, Crea. You don't need to worry too much about that. Anyway, since our last… trial, no, test has failed, well, it's time to draw the conclusion.
+
We will head to the forest using a Way I know in Venice. Then, we will proceed with the plan.
+
POI-6883: Ah, first thing. The Verwandlung. You haven't forgotten it, right?
+
The Administrator turns to POI-6883, appearing shocked for a few seconds, although they gradually relax.
+
Administrator: Is it… is it really needed?
+
POI-6883: Of course. You can't brace the full brunt of my capabilities, after all, even if you are already an Administrator. <Chuckles.>
+
Administrator: Ahhh, alright, alright. I won't… I won't budge from it now, especially if it's the only way remaining… one last thing.
+
POI-6883: What's it?
+
Administrator: After implementing the Emergence all over humanity, are you sure you can make everyone at least happy, especially at work?
+
POI-6883: Hmnnn… of course. We nature goddesses don't renege on decade-old promises.
+
A pentagram then manifests, with the Administrator and POI-6883 inside. POI-6883 hands over their eyeglasses to the Administrator, as several appendages sprout from their back The skin begins to turn brown and flake up, as they then devour the Administrator. A mass of bones, skin, and tissue are left behind.
+
POI-6883, now fully identical to an SCP-6883-1 instance aside from being 23 times the size, begins to amble forward; the vision of Site-354 collapses, reverting the surroundings into the medieval-style room. The abdomen of POI-6883 begins to inflate, causing the carapace to crack and leak fluids. Several cockroach swarms now appear at this point, surrounding POI-6883.
+
POI-6883's ootheca sac drops from its abdomen after leaking several liters of black and green fluid. This also causes an influx of eggs, one of which hatches into a white nymph, whose rapidly growing size is comparable to POI-6883's. It molts several times in a span of minutes, with the instars, or intervals in between, only taking 30 seconds at most. The logos of Aviatica and the SCP Foundation appear on its mature carapace.
+
A massive rumbling can be heard, as SCP-6883-2 manifests in front of the two, which then promptly board it. At this point, the data recorders in the Administrator's mind cease to function after the stress of the metamorphosis.
Several cockroach swarm attacks were then reported near the forest in extranormative space, with the loss of approximately 95 percent of all who have made it their abode. According to monitoring stations near the field of names, a 20km wide, 150m-tall castle, referred to as SCP-6883-2, has manifested, with approximately 4,300,000 cockroaches of varying sizes enabling it to levitate. above the greeneries in the chimneys. Meanwhile, the socialites of the grounds attempted to evacuate from the SCP-6883-1 instances, although they incurred losses up to 90 percent.
+
Thaumaturgic presence in the no man's farland have dropped to negative levels - thaumaturgic responders have reported the loss of function with most of their equipment, as well as significant transformations of several MTF forces accompanying them into SCP-6883-1 instances. It is hypothesized that significant levels of thaumaturgic energy have been obtained from the the stacks of greeneries.
+
After destroying the crux of the meadows, SCP-6883-2 has moved towards Venice in the span of two weeks. It then fixed its location, hovering over the city.
+
Three days after the disappearance of the Administrator, 80 percent of all Foundation Sites worldwide around the world lost contact with SCiPNet, following reports of destruction due to thousand-strong cockroach swarms. Physical entry into the Sites has been practically rendered impossible due to dense foliage, barriers composed of cockroach carapaces, and castle-like edifices. Meanwhile, all of the O5 Council members, save for O5-13, are reported as missing.
+
Five days afterward, a Foundation Class-1 mandate was signed by the Ethics Committee. The mandate, announced globally through public and Foundation's channels, is provided below:
We represent the SCP Foundation, once dedicated to the mere goal of containing and studying anomalies and related phenomena. However, upon further introspection, the Foundation is now focused on featuring the real nature of everyone - human or not - and society - happiness.
+
Currently, the Foundation is setting up Provisional Sites, as well as mobile platforms, for transforming members of society into more productive, livelier, and happier lives with their emotions in mind. All citizens, including Foundation personnel, are welcomed.
+
Communication is encouraged between all involved sectors - let us just introduce ourselves to one another with our real selves - even if our selves will become nameless in the future as time clangs against our mediocrity and bureaucracy - and we will work together for the future of all. The Foundation flies and dies in the darkness for you to live happily in the light.
+
- The Administrator.
+Secure. Contain. Protect, for a Better Future.
Following this announcement, the Foundation has redesignated SCP-6883 as Thaumiel.
+
+
+
Foundation Collapse Report
+
Only 12 percent of all active Foundation assets can combat SCP-6883. Led by O5-13, they evacuated to Switzerland, alongside members of Aviatica, led by Mr. K. Major Sites, such as Site-19, Site-24, and Site-120, are now compromised.
+
Following the Foundation announcement, approximately 124,562,000 individuals worldwide, all of whom suffer from varying levels of depression and harbor feelings of mediocrity, have approached Provisional Sites set up by the Foundation over the past month to turn into SCP-6883-1 instances after undergoing thaumaturgic psychological techniques.
+
Analysis has only revealed that most of these individuals are only mildly affected by Foundation memetic agents and have come by their own volition. Meanwhile, more aggressive campaigns by the Foundation are focused on providing relief and purpose to citizens by turning them into highly-coordinated SCP-6883-1 instances.
+
Afterward, these individuals are released back to their ordinary environments, with memetic agents normalizing their appearances. They display heightened levels of happiness, optimism, and productivity at work.
+
At the start, approximately 98,000 SCP-6883-related accidents occurred worldwide due to the lack of familiarity with cockroach-based functions. 11 Foundation Sites were then forcibly occupied by SCP-6883-1 instances, resulting in the release of 235 anomalies, all of which turn into deformed SCP-6883-1 instances. Due to freed Keter anomalies, many parts of the Americas and Asia have been obliterated. However, the world's population has not reacted negatively to the released entities or the incidents, and instead cheer and continue their daily routines.
+
+
+
Notice from O5-13
+
The following message is the transcript of O5-13's emergency declaration following the near total collapse of the Foundation.
+
+
We are the last foundations of the Foundation, but we still have a plan. We will fight for humanity's form, this time with their happiness in mind.
+
We will commence Operation UOMINI to revive SCP-6883-3, also known as "Uomino". All remaining thaumaturgic personnel and equipment of the Foundation are to be immediately transported to Site-354 and the Alpine outposts to commence preparations for channeling conduits into SCP-6883-3.
+
+
+
+
"Man In High Castle" Report
+
Approximately 81 percent of humanity has been converted into SCP-6883-1 instances, with record-high advances in workplace productivity, scientific progress, and quality of life, according to a Foundation update report released by the Ethics Committee. Meanwhile, the Foundation and Aviatica has launched an expedition to Venice, in hopes of luring the Administrator to Bolzano or the Western Alps in order to initiate Operation UOMINI.
+
O5-13 was included in the roster for the expedition after the development and successful testing of the V-2 Eckernacht Noospheric Apparatus, a cerebral microchip which allowed for telepathic communication with other individuals. They were chosen due to their familiarity with the Administrator, lessened hostility of SCP-6883-1 instances in their vicinity, and augmented flight capabilities.
Personnel Involved:Sandford Gregorius (SCP-6883-Ω), O5-13, Mr. K
+
+
+
+
With the help of MTF Lambda-12 ("Pest Control"), MTF Nu-7 ("Hammer Down"), and MTF Beta-7 ("Maz Hatters"), an opening for O5-13 and Mr. K. was created to reach the bottom of the central spire of SCP-6883-2 and enter it. Using preliminary data obtained by Aviatica and the surviving members of the residents of the land of green crucibles, they head down to the control room.
+
Surveillance drones and data recorders attached to one of O5-13's compound eyes capture the interior of SCP-6883-2. Its walls are lined with the imagery of the following: a doctor prying out a tooth, red threads wrapped around a man, a serpentine-like entity carrying koalas, a man with a bird hat, a large clockwork machine, and a rebar sculpture.
+
Further murals in the upper levels display images of the Foundation and Aviatica logos and anomalies. There are images - a sheaf of papers, seven moons on the night sky, a telephone on a table, a manor, and several doves flying in the air. Foundation wartime sirens echo throughout SCP-6883-2.
+
Mr. K and O5-13 repel the attacking SCP-6883-1 instances as they run through the corridors. Several instances are benign and raise all of their legs as a sign of surrender. A few protect smaller instances. Mr. K, sighing and looking around, activates their PenShield.
+
They soon arrive at a wide octagonal room at the top of the tower - it has a single door.
+
O5-13: behind you k there's some roaches comin <Mauls one of them, as K shoots the incoming SCP-6883-1 instance.>
+
Mr. K: Alrighty, here we go. Now, it seems that Gregor holed up in this place as a sort of final fortress, so we'll not know what kind of fuckery he has in store here.
+
O5-13: <Sighs.> gregor prepare yourself. <Takes out a C4 amplified with a reality anchor and places it near the door.>
+
Mr. K: Oi, Harold, the hell are ya holdin'?
+
O5-13: isnt the policy to go have a blazing entrance
+
Mr. K: Look, those guys inside would be alerted. Much better to attack in silence, ya know?
+
Mr. K hits the door, which then promptly activates a computerized voice, introducing itself as LIBERA.
+
LIBERA: Please answer the following question. "When does freedom ring?"
+
O5-13: Hmmnn…?
+
LIBERA: Well, well, well. <Sighs, and smokes a cigarette.> Good ol' Gregorius still hasn't forgotten his roots, after all, so he's still human in a weird sort of way. Judging from our memories back at Milan, Moscow, Medellin, Manila…
+
O5-13: something based on his experiences from things like the aviatican crisis of 2001, i suppose? no, more like how he would think when it comes to these sort of things, and i remember him thinking like ya'…
+
Mr. K: <Frowning.> Well, let's try this. "Freedom rings with a blazing entrance." <Sticks another C4 on the door, and signals O5-13 to run for cover, as he leaps away from the door with PenShield at maximum power.>
+
LIBERA: Access approved.
+
Mr. K: Eh?
+
Reality instability levels begin to spike, with Mr. K's and O5-13's Scranton Reality Anchors breaking apart. Their weaponry and most equipment, save for their armor, also demanifest. They are transported to a replica of the Site-19 Pavilion, which is generally reserved for spatial entities. Kant levels indicate that they are now out of phase with baseline reality.
+
Administrator: Yo, Harold and K.
+
The Administrator's appearance is a mix of cockroach and human forms, bleeding from several orifices, while a 50-meter-tall, bulging head, with one antenna missing, of a cockroach is located behind him.
+
Mr. K: What a haircut you got there, Gregor. Also, I guess that's Crea at the back?
+
Administrator: I suppose you came here to talk? Also, about Crea, don't talk like that 'bout her, K. She spent everything, banking on this one particular moment to empower the world for everyone for one simple trade-off - and it worked for once. She can only talk, so… if you aren't going to kill us yet, well, let's go talk then.
+
O5-13: not as if theres any choice for us. you stripped us of our weapons after all
+
Administrator: Hahhh… look. We all have our principles. To start, if you weren't interfering, the world would have been much, much, much elevated to a considerably higher state. Look into this vision I prepared for you.
+
Another dimension shift occurs with all the individuals present in the Pavilion. They are transported over landscapes that show scenes from the daily lives of SCP-6883-1 cockroach instances. Note that the words "Scene #X show over each landscape, with X being a number. These scenes are shown as they were in the vision.
+
In Scene #1, Venice is depicted. An SCP-6883-1 instance, garbed only in a hat and burgeoning clothes, can be seen flapping its wings as it uses its appendages to row a gondola. Accompanying it are another instance with only a ribbon on its prothorax, and several smaller instances. The song "Fame un spritz" and "Sarde in Saor" plays in the background. Several Venetian landmarks, such as the Ponte di Rialto and Santa Maria Gloriosa dei Frari, can be seen in the distance, albeit heavily modified with cockroach iconography.
+
In Scene #9, Site-19 is depicted in the middle of a containment breach involving SCP-682, which is now heavily modified with several antennae jutting out from several parts of its body as well as a flaking carapace. Cockroach swarms and SCP-6883-1 instances acting as Foundation personnel quickly subdue it in a eucalyptol and menthol bath1.
+
Scene #2, meanwhile, shows a normal family of SCP-6883-1 instances, enjoying a dinner of normal human food. The largest instance smacks one of the smaller entities due to its rowdiness.
+
Scene #4 shows Mr. K, the Administrator, O5-13, and Crea having a barbecue party, albeit with all of them now SCP-6883-1 instances.
+
Administrator: Images from the present and the future… or what could happen with our plan to make the world a happier place. Anomalies, even feared ones like 682, can be controlled, while those that escape during Emergence are quickly subdued. Functionality over form, you see.
+
The cockroach head behind the Administrator emits a low-pitch, bellowing sound, but does not move.
+
Administrator: Don't you think it will work now? <Their skin flakes off, revealing a cockroach shell.> A small sacrifice of the human form, for the betterment of the soul, don't you think it's a valid idea? <Several appendages sprout from the arms of the Administrator.> The Foundation, with all of its unethical experiments performed on people like little girls, on the girl who cried pig… cannot sacrifice aesthetics for the sake of peace?
+
Mr. K: There are two problems, Gregor, with your plan. First, it is fuckin' difficult to get a haircut when you are roach, and I like my haircuts. <Taps his visor, which obscures most of his hair and head.> Second, who do you think are, Reporter Gregorius, to think about changing the world?
+
Administrator: Oi, wasn't all Aviatican reporters dreaming of -
+
Mr. K: In a way that makes sense and does not set any nasty precedents for the future Foundation. Imagine losing your human form - aesthetics is not something you should mock, Gregor, just 'cause you are aiming for functionality. Now, considering you made a deal with a goddess from who knows where, then that sets an even more dangerous precedent.
+
You can change the world if you ask the fairies. The Sarkics. The Broken God peeps, and sure, something good can happen if you take the right steps and with the right amount of luck. But who knows if the result, no matter how perfect it is, will work.
+
Hell, even with insane shark punchers, I think the world can change. Can't say whether it will be good though, but I bet 20 bucks that it's much better than roaches.
+
Now, as for your wor… work ethics will change -
+
Administrator: Work ethic, huh… now we're talking work ethics with the admins. Look, that is the point of why I am here in the first -
+
O5-13: gregor let me talk as your friend
+
O5-13: youre burnin way too many bridges here
+
O5-13: its a rash decision too in the end, though i admire that you took decades of planning for it
+
Administrator: Rash decision? Don't screw with me - <Flaps their wings.>
+
O5-13: you always worked alone even with me available for advice
+
O5-13: for 10 years
+
O5-13: no
+
O5-13: 20 whole fucking years
+
O5-13: the foundation was built on the spirit of collaboration
+
Administrator: Hahh? Then what about that social climber, O5-1?
+
O5-13: In your planning wasn't that how you also climbed up ranks
+
O5-13: you never seemed to have friends as a result
+
O5-13: except for those who managed to sneak aviatica in
+
O5-13: as a result you were a workaholic cause how else can you perform
+
O5-13: but you see, there's still a chance for us. for you. for the foundation
+
O5-13: didnt i say that i also wanted to change the world but in smaller, more gradual steps?
+
The Administrator now appears angered, as more of his human skin flakes up. O5-13 and Mr. K back down. However, he then relaxes, with his human appearance quickly returning.
+
Administrator: Thank you for pointing that out… I guess, Harold. But you see…
+
The Administrator quickly reverts to their SCP-6883-1 form.
+
Administrator: That's another thing that I need to do in this new world. I paid too much for this opportunity, K and Harold. Crea too. The dignity of the Foundation. Everything, everything… everything, you see?
+
Mr. K: Oi, that's the sunk cost fallacy, Gregor. One of the first few things we learned at journ school.
+
Administrator: Journ school… do you think it matters now with the administrator of a truth-bending organization. For this new chance for a better world, I'm willing to -
+
Mr. K: I see, so you are prepared to even lose that part of yours. In the end, you know, Gregor <Takes out a Faber-Castell pen from a pencil case.>, if you remove the aspect of a journalist from yourself, don't you think that your actual identity will no longer exist?
+
Think about it. Everything we talked about in these past few days, nay, even 20 years ago, was about you being a journo or you changing the world. Now… I guess you're just a man who blabs about changing the world… but nothing else.
+
Mr. K activates the pen - a disguised Scranton Reality Anchor - warping them back to SCP-6883-2. Then, Mr. K and O5-13 are beset by several cockroach swarms, although they protect themselves via their PenShields.
+
Mr. K: Alrighty. One last thing, Gregor, we and your pal Uomino will be waiting for ya at the Western Alps!
+
Administrator: Uomin…o? Shit, how the hell—
+
Mr. K launches himself into the air with the help of O5-13. His PenShield blocks any attacks from the SCP-6883-1 instances present in the area. He then throws the pencil, which then manifests into a reality anchor. Although the Administrator deactivates the anchor, it paralyzes them and all SCP-6883-1 instances. He lands near the window, signaling O5-13 to come near him.
+
Administrator: Oi, K <Holding the anchor>, it's quite admirable you bypassed my safety checks for anchors via pen but did you just seriously think that this -
+
POI-6883: Idio… take a closer lo—
+
Mr. K: <Salutes towards the Administrator and POI-6883, with their visor shining bright yellow.> Well, as Leggere often puts it, you should always leave a sort of gift at the house of the interviewee, particularly if they are an Otherworlder. Ciao! <Signals O5-13 to leave a drone for documentation, and then escape together. Before that. however, he throws another pen at the Administrator.>
+
After O5-13 and Mr. K have escaped the castle and into Venice, the Administrator looks at the second pen. Their legs lose balance, as the effects of paralysis persist.
+
POI-6883: <Sighs.> A double feint, huh. Well, well, well… that was…. a fine play from your frie… wasn't… it? As for this… well, the good ol' compression trick, huh. Should've… seen it comin'…
+
The pen begins to emit beeping sounds, as Kant levels start destabilizing rapidly around it as the remains of the anchor also react with it. The Administrator is still holding it, however, but they soon emit a shrill scream. The pen shoots up from their hand, emitting red, blue, and yellow powder, before culminating in a nuclear explosion that obliterates the room and destroys the drone.
+
+
+
End Log
+
+
+
FILED UNDER DOCUMENT TYPE TM-6883
+09/15/2025
+
Timeline Log 6883-01
+
+
— BEGIN LOG —
+
00:00:25
+
A small mushroom cloud dominates the Venetian landscape, destroying approximately 10 percent of the city. SCP-6883-2 is in a heavily damaged condition, with several spires, battlements, towers, and half of the bailey collapsing after the combination of the Aviatican nuclear pen attack and the reality anchor. Mr. K, seated on O5-13, is escaping from SCP-6883-2 with multiple cockroach swarms in pursuit. Telemetry data indicates that they are heading towards the Western parts of the Alpine Mountains.
+
00:05:16
+
A large, cockroach-like entity, designated SCP-6883-Ω, with deep gashes, manifests from the ruins of SCP-6883-2. It sports long trails of cockroach carapaces attached to its body. Mechanical tubing, wiring, cables, and tubes protrude out of its mesothorax and abdomen. Half of its prothorax, which corresponds to the head, is missing. Several florae, such as palm trees, azalea, and lilac, are rooted in the carapace. It then emits a shrill, hissing sound recorded to reach 140 decibels by an automatic Foundation outpost.
+
00:15:21
+
Via somersaults and dives, O5-13 and Mr. K evade the cockroach swarms, although one of the cockroaches stabs a leg into the arm of Mr. K. before being terminated. Meanwhile, reinforcements from the Alpine Squadron have arrived, firing a barrage of missiles that slow down SCP-6883-Ω, severely damaging it.
+
Meanwhile, Aviatica's SCP-5630 instances, which are thaumaturgically-enhanced bird drones, commit diving attacks on SCP-6883-Ω, delivering bombs. When severely damaged, they crash themselves into the now-bleeding carapace. They also explode into a black, sticky fluid upon contact with SCP-6883-Ω. The fluid has massively slowed down the entity due to its hardening properties.
+
Through time sinks and portable reality anchors, O5-13 and Mr. K manage to accelerate further.
+
00:26:21
+
Operation UOMINI Mission Control in Site-354 notifies O5-13 and Mr. K via noospheric links that 10 more minutes are needed to distract SCP-6883-Ω. At this point, Site-354 now loses significant amounts of energy. A black-out is expected after 10 minutes.
+
Meanwhile, a combination of the Foundation and Aviatican dive-bombing attacks have crippled two legs of SCP-6883-Ω. However, 10,000-cockroach-strong swarms, several of which bear the Foundation logo, counter them.
+
00:32:16
+
Several missiles and nuclear weapons originating from the Austrian border, most likely due to the assimilated German branch, arrive at Site-354. These weapons are terminated via the still-functional PENTERN system along the Alps, although two of them hit Sites-350 and 352. Thaumaturgic mages not assigned to energy diversion repel the swarms of SCP-6883-1 instances via Ways and railguns.
+
00:40:51
+
O5-13 and Mr. K, now heavily injured, continue to resist the onslaught of SCP-6883-1 instances. As Mr. K's arm is no longer capable of wielding the gun, O5-13 has them rest and hang onto the carapace. O5-13 then wields a Gatling gun via its appendage, firing at the SCP-6883-1 instances while executing aerial maneuvers.
+
00:46:11
+
Mission Control announces that it is now operating at emergency power. Operation UOMINI is considered a success, and every involved Foundation and Aviatican asset retreat to designated safehouses. A massive rumbling then begins as parts of the Austrian Alps crumble. SCP-6883-3 is now active.
+
Formerly a pile of blocks and remains that assembled upon sufficient energy diverted to it, SCP-6883-3 is a 100-meter-tall humanoid entity, with distinctive 'hat' and 'cane' portions. It is primarily composed of a mix of mechanical and organic materials. Steam rises from several holes in its body while gears and twines operate to maintain body rigor. A loud beeping sound, followed by bird chips, originates from the upper portion.
+
SCP-6883-Ω emits a shrill hiss as it flaps its wings and crashes into SCP-6883-3 to engage it.
+
00:56:11
+
SCP-6883-3 and SCP-6883-Ω viciously fight. SCP-6883-3, recovering from the battering ram attack earlier, knocks its cane into SCP-6883-Ω's compound eyes, which then shine from yellow to red. Meanwhile, SCP-6883-Ω stabs its appendages into SCP-6883-3's hat, tearing it, although SCP-6883-3 responds with a kick into SCP-6883-Ω's anal cercus. SCP-6883-3 launches a volley of punches and kicks, half of which SCP-6883-Ω counters.
+
As a result, SCP-6883-Ω's head bursts into pieces, although it continues to live and attack with substantial power.
+
01:03:21
+
Retaliating, 100,000-member-strong cockroach swarms bind SCP-6883's legs, causing it to crash into mountains. Its facade is chipped away by dive attacks and acidic secretions, although it soon recovers. Meanwhile, a massive pentagram, composed of SCP-6883-1 instances, manifests on the horizon. It launches projectiles similar to a cockroach nymph, pummeling SCP-6883-3.
+
The fight continues for 30 more minutes until SCP-6883-3 begins to collapse and disassemble. Meanwhile, SCP-6883-Ω leaks massive amounts of blood while its organs, such as the gastric caecea and the esophagus, have detached. However, it continues to move towards Site-354, emitting shrill cries. Aviatican and Foundation flight assets continue bombing it.
+
01:27:59
+
On the verge of defeat, SCP-6883-Ω launches a 500km-wide pentagram into the sky, reviving all SCP-6883-1 instances neutralized by Foundation and Aviatica. However, most of these instances no longer attack and appear to act independently from SCP-6883-Ω.
+
01:35:59
+
The now-exposed heart of SCP-6883-Ω contains the mutated, half-cockroach body of the Administrator. O5-13 and Mr. K leave their outpost to attack it, claiming to know the most effective means of neutralization. Upon arrival, they throw a modified reality anchor into it, shifting the three of them into a virtual landscape.
+
— END LOG —
+
+
+
O5-13 and Mr. K manifest one hour later, unconscious. The following data was then obtained from O5-13's noospheric recorder. The recorder's organization of data is preserved in the following transcript, which is only composed of flashing text and sounds.
+
+
FILED UNDER DOCUMENT TYPE NM-6883
+09/15/2025
+
Noospheric Recorder Log 6883-01
+
+
— BEGIN LOG —
+
Sound of shuffling papers and a printer in operation.
+
gregor: Oi, Ka [[inaudible]], fix this news headline for me. We won't make it in time for our schoolpaper's deadline.
+
ka: <Sounds of sipping and crinkling plates.> Can't people who wanna change the world do something as simple as fitting five words instead of nine into a headline? Don't you think he's an idiot, harold?
+
harold: shut up for a moment. it's already difficult enough to layout the front page of our newspaper
+
gregor: Oi, Ka, are you - <inaudible>
+
+
Ka: why the hell are you all here too? you lot werent reacting back then.
+
GREgor: part-time jobs aren't easy to pass up for this thing. plus, its journo, so why not?
+
HARold: <Chuckles.> oi, gregor, don't tell me you're doing this for that girl under the tree? last time she extorted for like, 150 boyo. Wampipti pesos, boyo. Don't tell me that in the future youre gonna be paid 150 for stupid shit like saving the -
+
GREgor: look, it's just 150 pesos. It's not as if it will multiply - <inaudible>
+
+
harOLD: ahh, this news article is so stupid to write. gregor, lemme have a sip of that pepsi
+
kA: go buy one yourself. its just a bit over that block
+
greGOR: <Chuckles.> looks like he got his ass welded into his chair
+
harOLD: all of our asses are welded on these chairs and our lips on the laptops trying to publish a new volume for whoever is our audience. how the hell can we live a college life with this - [[inaudible]]
+
+
A Czech graduation song plays in the background.
+
KA: now were all finished with college hahahaha lets go to the shop to celebrate
+
GREGOR: ahh wait HAROLD here still has to bust his ass confessing to that chick from brno
+
HAROLD: oi, oi, oi, dont you think you also have something to say to marina over there
+
KA: <Chuckles.> ahhh. look at these nerds trying to confess. alrighty, time to get kicked in the ass bois [[Sounds of protest. After a few seconds, it becomes inaudible.]]
+
+
The Aviatican work anthem, "To Let Freedom Wing", plays.
+
K: now now now in this stunt you have to follow the instructions given by leggere or else we gonna turn into birds at the end of this parade
+
Gregor: its not bad to be a duck or an owl you know
+
Harold: a goose would do well too i think. <Chuckles.>
+
K: haahh you guys really aiming to be birds huh. you two are holding your signboards wrong
+
+
Shuffling papers.
+
K: this is it, i guess?
+
Sandford Gregorius: …i fucking failed bigtime… you two. carry on for me. i have reverted everything else for ya. humanity's gonna be back on its own two feet. no longer roaches. carta blanca. i suppose it would be rude
+
Harold Svoboda : …alright. i suppose its also almost time now. gregor - you said it earlier. you wanted the death of a journalist, right?
+
Sandford Gregorius: yea… not as an administrator. not a roach
+
K: alright. goodbye <Sound of a gun being loaded and fired.>
+
A few seconds pass.
+
Sandford Gregorius: you idiot you misfired now the wall with the pretty flowers is wrecked
+
K: huhh. you wanted me to give you that feeling of being shot back at milan, right? think, gregor, think about the phrase 'feeling only'.
+
Sandford Gregorius: ahh. i guess you're right… im sorry, K, harold. we made some stupid decisions back then, but mine alone messed up everything.
+
K: i have a lot of things to answer for too you know. especially that time in the castle where i spewed nasty shit. ya see, i wasnt even correct. even if you only started with being a 'journalist' or someone who wanted to change the world, im very wrong in saying that you were only those things. i guess your experiences really molded you into what you are now. an idiot <Chuckles.>
+
Sandford Gregorius : k you goddamn bastard. anyway… don't sweat that out. anyway, next time we meet
+
Harold Svoboda: hmm?
+
Sandford Gregorius: make sure to provide me a new volume, new edition of aviatica and the foundation inquirer. at least give me the news if you change the world or something
+
Sandford Gregorius: three guys with different ways of changing the world, yet nothing happens and the worlds still a stupid world. but you guys are still here, so maybe it aint a stupid worl - ahh, im wrong. please forgive me.
+
K: this idiot… ya really need to rest now. your deadlines passed, but ours havent
+
Harold Svoboda: when we pass it, we're ready to tell ya what happened. hell, the likes of ya might even interfere hahahah
+
Sandford Gregorius: hahh. alright then, im signing off. you guys take the coms
In the aftermath, O5-13 is declared as the new Administrator, with Aviatican officers helming the O5 Council. Due to SCP-6883-Ω's death, neutralization of SCP-6883 is observed, with individuals in Northwest Italy and Austria gradually returning to their human forms. A worldwide return to the human form is expected after three months.
Name of the file: birb.png
+Author: erisma
+License: CC BY-SA 4.0
+Source: The image has been created by its author for the purpose of all Avatica-related articles for Veralta, the creator of Avatica and a colleague of the author
As SCP-6918 was discovered post-neutralization, it does not require direct containment. While staff are advised to be on the lookout for similar events, no other occurrences of the precise phenomena of SCP-6918 have been discovered. Disinformation regarding the disappearance of Harley Warren is to be disseminated under standard cover story for persons of interest "St. Agnes's Outsider"1.
+
Analysis of Warren's remains has not revealed any anomalous qualities. Though anomalous circumstances lead to Warren's death, the method by which Warren died was not anomalous. Autopsy did not find anything out of the ordinary for victims of non-anomalous drowning. As such, Harley's remains and belongings (sans journal) have been returned to Warren's family for burial. The precise location of Warren's burial site near Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, has been recorded for Foundation archives should need arise for disinterment and further analysis.
+
Description
+
SCP-6918 refers to a personal, reiterative temporal anomaly2 affecting Harley Warren between the dates of September 19th, 1989, and February 22nd, 1990. The temporal anomaly is believed to have spontaneously ceased moments prior to or immediately following Warren's death, perhaps as a direct result of it. The precise nature of the anomaly is currently unknown; no other individuals with whom Warren had contact during the events described in his journals seem to have been affected by the anomaly. Further research is required to determine the cause of the anomaly. Research into other missing persons cases in the area has not yielded evidence of similar temporal phenomenon, but investigation into the matter is still ongoing.
+
Addendum 1: Journal Entries
+
The following entries are transcribed from a journal found on Harley Warren's corpse. Prolonged exposure to seawater has rendered almost all of the journal unreadable. Through use of the Sculptor-Hypnos AI, several of the journal entries have been successfully reconstructed. As the precise cause of SCP-6918's activation remains unknown, lead researcher Dr. Uwe has elected to include all successfully recreated entries yielded by Sculptor-Hypnos regardless of perceived relevance in the hopes that some information about SCP-6918's nature may be gleaned from them.
For future reference, I'm just guessing how many days it's been. I can't say I even know how many times it took me to realize what was happening. It's kind of terrifying to think that I could have repeated the same day countless times without realizing it.
+
It's not like I haven't seen movies or TV shows where this happens. I always assumed I would have figured it out by the second or third iteration of the same day, but I guess I'm not as clever as I give myself credit for. Sure, everything seems the same, but going into the same job, doing the same work, having the same basic conversations in passing with people isn't really that far out of the ordinary, is it?
+
Honestly, the more terrifying thought is that this isn't a time loop. My life is just that boring, and I'm finally being driven insane by it and becoming paranoid. Even my walks on the beach to "clear my head" don't really do as much as I thought. I've never really given enough self-reflection to notice the habits I've fallen into.
+
My therapist suggested I keep a journal about this feeling. Obviously, she thinks it's just in my head. It probably is. At least this'll prove to me that I'm just imagining things, give me some private validation, or at least just let me vent.
I've been keeping this journal in my pocket every time I go to bed at the end of the day, just to be certain. Yesterday (well, the previous today, I guess), I wanted to test something. I wrote out an entry in a separate journal and left that on my bedside table. It was gone when I woke up. I have to keep this journal on me, otherwise I fear I'll lose all record of what's happening.
+
The thought of that is kind of horrifying, to be honest. This feels like my only tether to reality, in a way. If I don't have this to reassure myself it's real, I'll probably go back to thinking I'm just insane and paranoid.
+
Well, no, maybe I wouldn't go crazy without it. Honestly, I'd probably go back to thinking everything was normal for a few days, then come back around to realizing I'm in this loop. I can't say it feels like a waking nightmare being in this loop or anything. It feels fairly normal, really. I've lived the same day countless times before I got stuck in this loop. I've let myself slip into routines, spending every day the same as the last one. I guess I'm only really aware of that in hindsight because I'm living the EXACT same day over and over.
+
I've kind of been letting my life slip past me, haven't I? I'm 34 now? I have to take a moment to remember that. I've stopped paying attention to the years rushing past me. Sure, I've reflected a few times on all of my friends getting married and having kids, but it's not like I've ever wanted that for myself. I don't think I'd be that great of a parent. I'm too short-tempered. I don't think I could deal with all the screaming and crying. After hearing all my friends talk about not getting sleep for months on end and seeing just how chaotic their lives are, I can't say the idea of having a kid ever really appealed to me.
+
This is kind of making me rethink that. Waking up to have everything the same as when I went to bed isn't really new. That's how my life always was. If I don't change something, it won't be different, at least in my apartment. Maybe I should get a dog once life is back to normal. It'd bring some kind of variance into my day. Less difficult than having a kid, but it would keep things from being the same every day.
I've managed to convince my therapist I'm not crazy. Sure, I'll have to do it every single time I see her, but it's nice to have someone to confide in. Her middle name is Gloria, and when she was in high school, she'd bring a metal water bottle with milk in it during tests because it felt soothing to her. That's the information she gave me yesterday (it still feels wrong to call it, like, "the previous today" or stuff like that) to convince her. Did she have that planned? Has she had to use that code information before or something?
+
Maybe she just made it up on the spot. Maybe she's just trying to reassure me. Then again, it's not like lying to me would make her a good therapist, would it? Is it better for her to try and help me feel accepted or to not feed into what she might think are delusions? Maybe I should look up stuff about therapy tomorrow so I can figure out if she's being honest with me.
+
Even if she doesn't ACTUALLY believe me, there's not really anything bad that'll happen if I tell her whatever crazy things I'm thinking. It's not like she'll remember them next I see her.
+
I just came to the realization I can use my therapist for therapy, didn't I? God, I'm such a moron sometimes.
I keep thinking about dogs, ever since offhandedly mentioning one a few days ago. I can't really go about adopting one. If it requires some kind of background check or anything that keeps it from being a single-day process, there'd be no way for me to even GET a dog until I'm out of this loop. Even if I did, it would probably just be in the pound again as soon as I woke up the next morning.
+
But there's a bit of a solution I've found. See, adopting a dog from the pound might be out of the question, but that doesn't mean I can't go look at them. I can spend time with each dog up for adoption until I find the one that's perfect. Even if it won't remember me when I'm out of this loop, it's not like it'll be that different. Dogs just kind of love people innately, right? So I don't think it'll be difficult for the dog to get just as attached to me as I'll be to it.
+
Thinking about it is kind of exciting. I'll definitely take it with me on my evening beach walks. I bet it'll love that. I don't know if it'll want to go in the water, but it's not like I do either. We can just stare out at the sea together. That'll be good enough. Hell, a dog would probably be a better swimmer than me. Dogs kind of seem to innately know how to swim, but people need to be taught.
+
I guess learning how to swim is another thing I could do while I'm stuck in this loop. I can find a pool to practice in. If I make a fool of myself and need to be rescued by the lifeguard, nobody will know it happened when I wake up the next morning. It's kind of reassuring to know I can't embarrass myself THAT badly while I'm stuck in this loop.
I tried out what my therapist suggested yesterday. I don't know why I didn't think of it before, but I guess it WOULD be kind of hard for the pound employees to give every dog the exercise they need. Sure enough, they seemed pretty happy to let me take one of the dogs for a walk.
+
The dog I walked today was named Gus. He's a former racing greyhound. He's pretty shy, but he seems like a sweetheart. He seemed to hate having sand between his paws, though. As soon as we set foot on the beach, he started picking up his feet way more when he walked like he was trying to keep them from touching the sand as much as possible. At least he didn't really stop me from holding his paws to clean them off.
+
There's something comforting about being at the beach with a dog. I'm kind of alone right now, since nobody else seems to know about the loop besides me, at least not as far as I know. Looking out into the ocean, though, hearing the waves lapping at the shore, seeing Gus's tail wagging away… I think it's going to be alright. We'll make it through this together.
I let myself slip into a routine, taking Gus out for a walk on the beach in the evenings. I forgot to write in my journal a few times because of it, since I normally wrote my entries while I was at the beach. I hope my estimate of how many days passed is accurate. I don't really have a way of checking. I have to remember to write SOMETHING each day before I go to bed, even if it's just a single sentence. I don't have any other way of marking the days if I don't.
+
Gus still does his funny little high-step when we first reach the sand, so I can tell he's not getting any more used to it. Still, he can't really show confusion when I act familiar towards him. He's just as happy to see me every time. Maybe it's a greyhound thing, maybe it's because he's stuck in a pretty small pen, I dunno. Whatever the reason, when I ask him if he wants to go for a walk, he starts spinning in circles as fast as he can. It's honestly hilarious, super endearing too. I've done this pretty much every time I've seen him, but I haven't gotten tired of it.
+
I said I'd try spending time with different dogs to find the right one, but I kind of fell in love with Gus right away, didn't I? I've taken him for a walk every time. He's really calm, maybe just because he's shy, but it makes him seem that much more comforting for me. There's a feeling of kinship, at least on my end. We're both going through stress. Hell, I bet he feels just as stuck in routine as I do. Every day in the pound is the same for him.
+
Once I'm free from whatever's going on, I'll adopt him.
I keep talking about what I'll do when I'm free from whatever's going on, but I've only recently started to realize I have no idea if I'll ever get free at all. I don't know why this started, after all. It's not like I can do anything to figure it out, since nobody else even knows this is happening. Even if I lash out and yell at or hit someone at work, nothing comes from it. I get written up, sure, but nobody remembers it the next morning when I come in. The previous version of the day never happened for them, after all.
+
In every movie or story I've seen about this sort of thing, there's some kind of inciting incident for it all, isn't there? Someone has been making some kind of mistake they need to rectify for their life to return to normal. I've thought about it for a while, but I can't figure out anything of the sort here. My life is just too boring for that. I don't have any huge mistakes to fix or relationships to repair. Everything is just… average. My parents are fine, we've got a good relationship. I don't have any particular friendships with my coworkers, but they're all as disinterested in me as I've been in them. I think they forget about me the second they're off work, really. Besides the time loop making them forget, I mean. It's not like I haven't tried probing them to see if there might be something I hadn't picked up on.
+
I'm pretty sure there's nothing underlying in my relationships with my coworkers that I hadn't noticed before. People are only confused when I show interest in getting to know them or spending time outside of work. I've tried EVERYONE I interact with at work, and none of them seem to regard me as anything more than someone they pass by every day. Then again, that's kind of how I always thought of them, isn't it?
I've let a few weeks go by without bringing Gus to the beach with me. I think that might be part of why I've been feeling more and more down about this whole loop business. Maybe it's because I've been feeling more down that I haven't bothered to bring him with me.
+
I don't really feel like reflecting on things right now. I've been forgetting to even bother writing entries lately, and I can't bring myself to write more. I guess I'll just leave things off here. Maybe bringing Gus to the beach tomorrow will help me gather the energy to really think about what's going on.
I wish I hadn't brought Gus with me. For whatever reason, he bolted as soon as we were on the beach. He's never reacted that way before. He completely tore the leash out of my hand and ran off into the waves. I couldn't really go after him even if I wanted to. I'd probably drown if I tried to swim out into the ocean at all, even when the waves are more tame.
+
I lost sight of him, and no matter how loud I called, I couldn't get him to come back. I stayed until the sun set, but he never showed back up. I couldn't find pawprints in the sand anywhere. He just… vanished.
+
It's well past midnight. I don't know if I've already looped back into the same day or not. I've tried to sleep, but I'm just worried sick about him. I have a sinking feeling that letting myself stay up all night might break the loop, and Gus will really just be gone. It's not like I haven't tried pulling an all-nighter before. It never worked. I always fell asleep at some point and woke up with my alarm the same morning. What if this is the one time it's different?
I must have dozed off at some point. I don't know when. It was definitely some time after 5 AM, I remember still being awake then. Considering my alarm goes off at 6:30, I probably didn't get much sleep at all. I don't really feel like it, though. I feel just as well-rested today as I have any other morning.
+
It's 8 AM now. I'm going to be late for work, but I don't care. It won't matter. I need to go to the shelter and see Gus first.
Gus wasn't there. They don't have any record of him ever having been at the shelter. The people working there looked at me like I was crazy when I asked about him. They say they've never had a racing greyhound in their care.
+
This is the only time anything has been different in these loops. Why isn't he there? What did I do wrong? Did something happen to him?
+
I mean, I guess I know what probably happened, but I don't want to write it. I feel like putting it into words will make the possibility all that more real. I can't accept that it could be the case.
+
I guess there's a way to test it, but do I have the heart to do it?
I let myself run over a squirrel this morning on the way to work. I figured it would be a good test to figure out if something gets removed from the loop when they die.
+
In retrospect, it was an awful thing to do. I killed a squirrel for no reason. I know it's dead. I saw the vultures hanging out by it when I was driving home this evening. I couldn't see the body, but it was in the exact spot where I ran over the squirrel. It's just not likely enough that some other animal would have died in the same spot. I haven't seen any other roadkill pop up (except the deer I pass on the highway every morning, that one is always there), so it had to have been the one I hit.
+
I would rather an animal die to test this than a person, but I have no way of knowing if that particular squirrel disappears or not. There's only one place I know of where I can test to see if a specific animal shows back up after it dies. It would be so easy. If it works, nobody will know it happened. Nobody will know whatever dog I pick ever existed. If it doesn't work, the dog will still be there, and nobody will remember I did that the previous loop. The dogs are just going to be put down anyway so the pound doesn't get overcrowded.
+
I feel awful just for writing this. I don't think I could bring myself to hurt an animal intentionally. I think I'm going to stop writing here. I don't want to keep giving voice to these kinds of thoughts.
I tried going to the pound again today. Not for anything nefarious. I just wanted to try walking a different dog to get my mind off of things.
+
I didn't end up taking a dog out. I felt horrible just being in there. The people there might not know me, but I feel like the dogs do. The way they looked at me was so sad. It's like they're mourning. Or maybe they know I thought about hurting them.
+
I couldn't do it. I wasn't there to hurt them, but I couldn't bring myself to even take one for a walk. I'm too worried those thoughts of hurting them will come back.
+
I keep hoping I'll see pawprints on the beach. I keep hoping Gus will show back up. He hasn't, but I feel like I'm less alone when I'm here. If nothing else, I can remember the nicer walks Gus and I had. Maybe he's the one I feel watching me.
I couldn't even bring myself to walk past the doors of the pound today. Just thinking about it made me feel sick.
+
I didn't go to the therapy appointment either. It's been a while since I did, honestly. I don't want to talk about these thoughts I've been having. I know she won't remember, but just thinking about discussing it makes me want to curl up and wait for the day to be over.
+
I don't think I have it in me to hurt a living thing on purpose, even to figure out if it'll free them (or me) from this loop. Since having just thought about me fills me with so much guilt, I can only imagine how I'd feel just trying to do it, let alone actually going through with it.
I might not be able to hurt another living thing on purpose to test my theory, but there is one thing I think I could hurt without feeling bad.
+
I'll do it tomorrow. I'll rent a fishing boat to take out into the ocean. I'll see if I can't find Gus out there. I think he wants me to come out into the open sea. I think that's what he was trying to tell me.
An instance of SCP-6942 prior to containment. Cognitohazardous elytra markings have been filtered for safety purposes.
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures: ████ National Park has been claimed by the Foundation and integrated into Foundation Outpost-443. All instances of SCP-6942 are to be separately contained in medium-sized Arthropod Terrarium Units at Foundation Outpost-443. SCP-6942 instances are not to be contained within the same terrarium or brought together for long periods of time outside of testing. Unauthorised civilians who have come into contact with SCP-6942 instances are to be administered Class-C amnestics.
+
Description: SCP-6942 collectively refers to members of the order Coleoptera found within ████ National Park in Papua New Guinea. It is estimated that nearly 40% of the population of Coleoptera members in the National Park constitute SCP-6942.
+
Instances of SCP-6942 exhibit signs of numerous anomalous and baseline teratogenesis1, including, but not limited to, abnormally high strength-to-weight ratios, altered intrinsic Hume levels, elytra2 markings with minor cognitohazardous and/or antimemetic properties, and psychokinetic3 abilities. A full list of SCP-6942 instances and details pertaining to their anomalous traits may be retrieved here.
+
+
+
Addendum 6942-A
+Discovery
+
+
+
SCP-6942 was first identified by Dr. W. Tamarua on 05/04/2008 after a series of encounters with several instances in the vicinity of his tent. Dr. Tamarua managed to contain 6 instances of SCP-6942 before returning from his camping trip. The following is a description of a video log recorded by Dr. Tamarua after containing one such instance.
(Dr. Tamarua can be seen holding a closed transparent plastic container with holes poked through for ventilation. An instance of SCP-6942 is visible inside.)
+
Dr. Tamarua: Not what I was expecting on my week off, but it is what it is.
+
(Dr. Tamarua sets down the container, and brings the camera close to it. The SCP-6942 instance can be seen clearly and is visibly pacing about the container.)
+
Dr. Tamarua: I have here, what I think is a member of the Polyrhanis boisduvali species, or as I like to call it, one of the many bugs that keep me up at night by thrashing foliage.
+
(The SCP-6942 instance displays an aggressive stance in the general direction of Dr. Tamarua. He does not notice.)
+
Dr. Tamarua: This is one of 6 anomalous beetles I have identified thus far. This particular instance seems to have some psychoki-
+
(A loud "thwock" sound is heard. Dr. Tamarua collapses. The SCP-6942 instance can be seen swiftly escaping from a large hole created in the container4.)
Subsequent investigations and expeditions revealed that SCP-6942 was not limited to the 6 recovered beetles, leading to the commissioning of Foundation Outpost-433 within the vicinity of ████ National Park, Papua New Guinea to contain and conduct further study on SCP-6942 instances.
+
+
+
Addendum 6942-B
+Initial Containment and Testing
+
+
+
It was initially hypothesized that SCP-6942 is derived from a secondary anomaly within ████ National Park, however investigations found no evidence of any such anomaly. Despite this, SCP-6942 instances have continued to appear within the area, and efforts were redirected towards more direct testing with SCP-6942.
+
Cross-testing between SCP-6942 instances of the same species have produced results inconsistent with predicted outcomes derived from the laws of both Mendelian and non-Mendelian genetics, with at least 4 instances developing entirely new unrelated anomalous traits in the process.
Log ID: 6942-01
+Personnel Involved: Dr. W. Tamarua
+SCP-6942 Instances Bred: 2 Ischiopsopha bifasciata, exhibiting minor psychokinetic abilities and a translucent structure respectively.
+Result: Produced larval SCP-6942 instances exhibited no anomalous properties. Hatched instances had an average intrinsic Hume measurement of 90-95/105-110.
+
+
Log ID: 6942-04
+Personnel Involved: Dr. W. Tamarua and Dr. A. Koppel
+SCP-6942 Instances Bred: 2 Chrysodema radians, exhibiting high strength-to-weight ratio and an anomalous digestive system capable of excreting a solution of propanol and isoamyl acetate.5
+Result: Produced eggs capable of levitation. Hatched SCP-6942 instances retained this ability into adulthood. Dissection of expired instances reveals the presence of several anomalous organs containing helium.
+
+
Log ID: 6942-11
+Personnel Involved: Dr. J. Lim, Dr. A. Koppel, and Researcher H. Stenn.
+SCP-6942 Instances: 2 Leptognatha occidentalis, one exhibiting a maximum speed of around 40 m/s and the other a baseline instance.
+Result: Baseline instance expired during reproductive process. Test subsequently concluded.
+
+
Log ID: 6942-32
+Personnel Involved: Dr. W. Tamarua, Dr. H.Nazaryan, and Researcher C. Park.
+SCP-6942 Instances: 2 Polyrhanis innocens, exhibiting intangibility during flight and metachrosis6 of the elytra respectively.
+Result: Test interrupted by containment breach. SCP-6942 instance that was capable of intangibility during flight expired during the event.
+
+
Log ID: 6942-75
+Personnel Involved: Dr. G. Kariuki and Researcher L. Davis.
+SCP-6942 Instances: 2 Papuana angusta, both baseline instances.
+Result: Larval instances of SCP-6942 produced developed cognitohazardous markings within hours of hatching. Cognitohazardous markings did not persist into adulthood. Researcher L. Davis incapacitated during test.7
+
+
Log ID: 6942-229
+Personnel Involved: Dr. J. Ferrier and Researcher D. Valerio.
+SCP-6942 Instances: 2 Ischiopsopha bifasciata, both exhibiting intrinsic Hume values 90-95/105-110.
+Result: Produced SCP-6942 instances measured at an average Hume value of 75-80/120-125. Eggs were incinerated without incident due to concerns of a potential containment breach.
+
+
+
+
+
In addition to testing with SCP-6942 instances, baseline beetles sourced within the vicinity of Foundation Outpost-443 have successfully bred with each other and SCP-6942 instances to produce anomalous offspring on several occasions, suggesting that the anomalous traits present within SCP-6942 instances may be derived from recessive or latent genes. At time of writing, Dr. Blom of the Department of Genetics has been reassigned to SCP-6942 to assist with genomic analysis.
+
The containment of SCP-6942 has proven to be difficult at times, due to the challenges that come with accommodating several hundred insects with varying anomalous traits, as well as ensuring that the more skillful instances remain securely contained. Several containment breaches have occurred since the creation of Foundation Outpost-443, and proposals to transfer disruptive instances of SCP-6942 to more secure facilities are being considered.
+
Update 27/08/2011:
+Genomic analysis of SCP-6942 instances was carried out to verify if the anomaly truly is genetic, with negative results. SCP-6942 instances do not possess any outstanding genetic variation compared to their baseline counterparts.
+
+
Note:It is quite clear that SCP-6942 instances may pass down their "anomality", so to speak, to a fraction of their offspring. The only problem is that any vehicle of inheritance is, for all intents and purposes, non-genetic. It is not an aberrant chromosome, it is not a recessive genotype, the genetic variation between instances of the same species are effectively negligible, and that's inclusive of the beetles that can shapeshift.
Following numerous containment breaches at Foundation Outpost-443, as well as a notable increase in hazardous anomalous traits being displayed by newer SCP-6942 instances, the facility has been upgraded and redesignated as Site-443.
Personnel Involved: Dr. W. Tamarua, Dr. H.Nazaryan, and Researcher C. Park.
+
+
+
Summary: An instance of SCP-6942 displayed a previously undocumented anomalous trait during testing. The instance emitted high frequency sounds uncharacteristic of its species that shattered all unreinforced glass in the room, and stunned Drs. Tamarua and Nazaryan, and Researcher Park. 16 other instances of SCP-6942 present in the room for testing managed to escape.
+Update 14/05/2009: All breached instances have been successfully recontained, with the exception of one instance, which was found to have expired while phasing through the floor.
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum: Incident Report 443-O-8
+
+
+
Date: 18/02/2011
+
+
+
Personnel Involved: Dr. G. Kariuki and Researcher L. Davis.
+
+
+
Summary: A larval instance of SCP-6942 developed cognitohazardous markings within hours of hatching. Researcher Davis seized after viewing the markings, while Dr. Kariuki managed to safely relocate this particular SCP-6942 instance to the on-site cognitohazard containment area.
+Update 12/03/2011: The aforementioned SCP-6942 instance has developed into an adult without any anomalous properties. Researcher Davis' request for reassignment after recovery has since been approved.
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum: Incident Report 443-O-21
+
+
+
Date: 04/10/2013
+
+
+
Personnel Involved: Researcher H. Stenn.
+
+
+
Summary: Contact with Researcher Stenn was lost during his attempt to contain an SCP-6942 instance within the vicinity of Site-443. The aforementioned instance was contained by a remotely controlled drone later that day, along with a baseline beetle that shared an exact genetic match with Researcher Stenn. No further action was taken.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Addendum 6942-C
+Paragenetic Research
+
+
+
On 14/03/2014, a proposal regarding the creation of a Department of Paragenetics was submitted to the O5 Council for their consideration. The proposal was drafted by Drs. Blom, Koppel, Nazaryan, and Lim, from the Department of Genetics. A number of studies and journals have also been published and/or co-authored by these personnel prior to the drafting of the proposal.
The Foundation would benefit more from concentrating resources in existing Departments, not from diverting them to create new ones.
+- O5-03
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Despite the implication that anomalous traits and properties may be genetically inherited, genomic analysis and testing conducted on several SCP-6942 instances reveal that there exists no discernable nor predictable vehicle for the inheritance of most, if not all recorded anomalous traits. Due to this, the Paragenetics Department was formed to identify the laws of inheritance vis-à-vis anomalous traits. An excerpt of Dr. Blom's speech during the opening ceremony of the Department of Paragenetics is attached below.
DR. BLOM: In a way, the study of paragenetics is the study of that which conventional genetics cannot explain. In the past, we have attempted to use genetics to explain a variety of biological anomalies, with varying degrees of success. What my colleagues and I have achieved, is the discovery of genes, so to speak, for anomalous traits.
+
Now the details for it are complex, dare I say abstract, and I'm sure you all would appreciate not having to sit in this hall for another 4 hours while I drone on about it. Consider the baseline gene, instructions for the synthesis of proteins. Paragenes, however, they do not code for proteins, but rather intrinsic rules the organism must follow in baseline reality. Still with me?
+
Paragenes are not inherently anomalous. We've identified paragenes within every organism we've ran analyses on thus far. Generational and interspecific paragenetic variance between baseline subjects are few and far between. In short, our paragenes do not undergo significant transformation over time, unlike conventional genes, and the vast majority of organisms do not possess enough suitable or viable paragenetic combinations to express anomalous traits.
+
SCP-6942 remains an exception to this. Over 90% of all paragenes identified have originated from the paragenetic analysis of SCP-6942 instances alone, and the number of viable paragenetic combinations are approximately 5 times greater than that as a result of the amount of paragenes within the local gene pool. The reason for this paragenetic diversity is believed to be one or more paragenes that enable changes within its structures and arrangements during the inheritance of these paragenes.8
+
We've ran comparison tests between one such paragene and every other that we've discovered in baseline organisms, and have arrived at the conclusion that its development was the result of a paramutational event, due to similarities between the paragenetic differences with that of baseline gene mutation. To put it simply, there is strong evidence to suggest SCP-6942 arose as a result of jumpstarted paragenetic mutation. We're still looking into the how and when, but this is the consensus we have reached as of now. Any questions?
+
+
+
+
+
Update 10/11/2016:
+Paragenetic analysis has confirmed that numerous anomalous traits present in SCP-6942 instances can be attributed to the presence of complex paragenes within their genome. A number of these bear strong resemblances to those found in SCP-239, SCP-4778, and SCP-████. However, markers for paragenes within the gene pool of SCP-6942 suggest that unlike most biological anomalies, which have static paragenomes, the anomalous traits of SCP-6942 have origins in the gradual ongoing variation of specific paragenes. It is believed a combination of mutation and paragenetic drift prompted the sudden increase in anomalous biodiversity within SCP-6942.
+
Update 24/01/2017:
+Paragenetic tests and analysis conducted on recently discovered populations of anomalous arthropods and fish return similar results to that found in SCP-6942.
+
+
Note:It took quite a bit of time for us to notice this, since we can't be monitoring every single organism in the Pacific Ocean 24/7. Believe me, we've tried. As for whether these populations have any relation with SCP-6942, anyone's guess is as good as mine. We've already ruled out paragenetic transmission via vector, viral or otherwise, and last I checked, fish and beetles cannot breed with each other to produce viable offspring, so as of now the leading theory is independent mutation.
+
If these populations really have independently mutated anomalous paragenes into existence under entirely different environments, how many more SCP-6942s could have gone unnoticed?
A picture of Stanley Kubrick on the set of Barry Lyndon, 1975.
+
+
+
Item #: SCP-6948
+
Object Class: Uncontained
+
Secrecy Level: 4
+
Special Containment Procedures: All information regarding the true nature of SCP-6948 must be suppressed at all costs.
+
Description: SCP-6948 refers to the sudden disappearance of the American-British movie director Stanley Kubrick (PoI-2001), famous for various movies, such as Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, and was involved in the filming of the 1969 Moon Landing, an operation realized to hide evidence about the SCP-6614 instances. Stanley Kubrick was a Type-Green Humanoid, capable of teleportation; during his life, the Foundation was unable to ascertain if he had a minimum or maximum distance that he could teleport. He used these abilities to record the scenes for his movies and to place the actors in specific locations.1
+
PoI-2001 disappeared with no trace on December 7, 1998, at the age of 70 years old, in his home in Childwickbury, England. His wife, Christiane Kubrick, was unable to explain the reasons behind the disappearance of PoI-2001, however, she stated that the last thing he said before disappearing was that he had 'some unfinished business'. The local news about his disappearance has been covered up by the British Occult Service, and the Foundation, while an operation was launched in joint with various international agencies, searching for PoI-2001 for the following three months.
+
Kubrick was then briefly seen on March 3rd, 1999, attending a premiere screening of Eyes Wide Shut, but was unable to be apprehended by the Foundation. The Foundation agents tried to get in contact with Stanley Kubrick, asking him about the reasons for his sudden disappearance, however, when they entered his home, he was gone once more, with only a note left on his table, reading 'Don't expect me back any time soon.'
+
The operation officially ended on March 7, 1999. It was decided at that point to fake the director's complete disappearance by using a disinformation campaign of him having passed away, and using a lookalike of PoI-2001 for his funeral, attended on March 12, 1999.
+
Currently, Stanley Kubrick's whereabouts are unknown.
Mrs. Administrator, I am Bruce Garret, director of Site Aleph. I have some updates regarding SCP-6948 and the disappearance of Stanley Kubrick. This morning, on November 9, 1999, in the Site archives we found an object not recorded in our databases, designated SCP-███-FR, no one has a minimal recollection of how it got there. However, it looks like it was discovered by the Singular Imperial Academy2 in 1822, with their documentation and description at the time.
+
We checked the 'anomaly', which is a tape dated 1998, titled "Napoleon" with the signature of Kubrick, along with two movie cameras, and a microphone. We analyzed the signature on the tape, and it's 100% identical to the one Stanley had.
Storage Instructions: Item is presently contained in a standard storage locker at Compound-15's Western Hangar. Usage of #6980 for experimentation purposes requires prior approval from Chief Scholar Crescent Moon of Blackbeak. All photographs produced by #6980 are to be archived and submitted to the Institute database for further study.
+
Synopsis: Unexplained Artefact #6980 is a self-developing camera of uncertain make and model, retrieved from the Twin Kingdoms in 1264. Internal analysis has revealed no structural irregularities, nor any evidence of thaumaturgic enhancement.
+
Object is functional, and capable of capturing visual images. However, all photographs developed using #6980 will instead depict a natural landscape, believed to correspond to an alternate dimension (tentatively designated Earth-6980) not previously encountered by the Division of Exo-Cosmological Studies.
+
Testing has shown that the terrain and ecology of Earth-6980 varies depending on the photographer's location. As Earth-6980's climate, biota and topography appears radically divergent from that of Baseline, it is hypothesized to have branched from our universe at an indeterminate point in the distant past. Further research is ongoing.
+
Appendix-1: To date, testing of Artefact #6980 has taken place on all eight continents. The following is an abridged experimentation log, compiled by Petty Scholar Goodpeace the Younger of Longbridge:
+
+
Date: 05-09-1265
+
+Location: Compound-15, Twin Kingdoms
+
+Resulting Image: A barren desert expanse, no life forms present. Stars are visible in the background, although their alignment corresponds to no current or historical configuration.
+
+
+
Date: 08-01-1266
+
+Location: Dreamwood Mountains, Principality of Greater Antipodia
+
+Resulting Image: The surface of a vast ocean. A large moon visually indistinguishable from Baseline is observed, although subsequent analysis suggests it may be situated at a slightly (~1.2%) greater distance from the Earth.
+
+
+
Date: 32-07-1266
+
+Location: Lake Merciful, Degenerate Wastes
+
+Resulting Image: A rolling savannah captured at sunwake. An erect bipedal organism, possessing an enlarged cranium and mammalian features, is visible left of center. Subject stands at approximately five claws in height, and is pictured wielding what resembles a stone-tipped wooden spear. First direct confirmation of intelligent life inhabiting Earth #6980.
+
+
+
+
+
Earth #6980 from orbit.
+
+
+
Appendix-2: On 25-10-1268, Administrator Dancing Lights of Kingscrest granted approval for #6980's temporary relocation to the Institute space station Infinity, in order to investigate the extent of Earth-6980's geological divergencies. Over 128 images were captured from orbit, with the resulting photographs submitted to the wider Institute database.
+
These images confirm the climate of Earth-6980 to be far cooler than initially thought, as evidenced by the prominent ice sheets encompassing much of the northern hemisphere. Six of Earth's major land masses are identifiable, although are located at a noticeably greater distance apart, with several (including Blueland and New Cloudmount) believed to be entirely submerged.
+
The Division of Geological Irregularities has noted that Earth-6980's topography bears an estimated 72% resemblance to simulations of Baseline between 56 and 64 MY1 into the future.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7108 is contained in a humanoid containment chamber in Site-17. SCP-7108-A is to be regularly drawn via venipuncture and stored for research. SCP-7108 is also to be prescribed Simethicone tablets for medical purposes.
+
SCP-7108 is currently in the medical bay pending the results of Addendum-01.
+
Description: SCP-7108 is an adult male of Dutch-American descent, (formally known as William Pemberton) age 27. Instead of exhaling carbon dioxide during respiration, the gas is directly absorbed into the entity's bloodstream.
+
SCP-7108-A designates SCP-7108's blood. Due to each blood cell adapted to carry CO2, SCP-7108-A is dark brown in coloration indicating an extremely low oxygen count in the body. As a consequence of consistent accumulation of carbon dioxide, SCP-7108-A is undergoing constant carbonation. This occurs regardless of whether SCP-7108-A is physically inside SCP-7108 or not.
+
Despite these changes SCP-7108 does not suffer from Hypercapnia and retains biological function, albeit with several minor side effects. Open sores tend to form on SCP-7108's stomach lining, causing SCP-7108-A to leak out and mix with the stomach acid. This doesn't cause SCP-7108 any pain but does result in bodily gas building up in the digestive tract, leading to frequent inopportune social disruptions.1 SCP-7108's caffeine levels are abnormally high compared to baseline humans, and chemicals such as phosphoric acid, aspartame, and acesulfame k were also detected in their body. Whether this is a direct result of the entity's anomalous traits is unclear.
+
Other than that, SCP-7108 is in fine health. (See Addendum-01)
+
Addendum 0-1, Incident 7108-1: On 05/08/2016, SCP-7108 was involved in a incident in Site-17's cafeteria. The entire incident had been recorded:
[SCP-7108 leaves the lunch line and heads towards a lunch table. The entity rests their tray down and waves to the table's only occupants: a man with ursine features, and a woman with pink, sparkling hair. The two humanoids stop conversing with each other and wave back. SCP-7108 drinks their milk carton.]
+
[A loud hiccup causes milk to be snorted out of the entity's nostrils and stains their shirt. SCP-7108 curses, wipes up the spill and SCP-7108 apologizes to the two humanoids. The humanoids nod. SCP-7108 grabs their sandwich and takes a bite.]
+
[SCP-7108 violently belches, spewing bits of eggs and bacon onto the table. Occupants at other tables stare at SCP-7108. The entity's eyes twitch as they subconsciously rips the sandwich apart. SCP-7108 presses their face against the table and groans. A guard walks up to SCP-7108 and taps them on the shoulder. The entity makes a thumbs up gesture. The guard leaves.]
+
[SCP-7108 pulls their head up, the two humanoids stare at them. The entity massages their temples and sighs.]
+
SCP-7108: It's not like I… you know, we're all here for a certain thing and it's beyond your control. And… I'm here because of…
+
Female Humanoid: Your breath? It's smells like plastic and mildew.
+
SCP-7108: …Yeah… let's roll with that.
+
[The female humanoid gives SCP-7108 candy.]
+
Female Humanoid: Here, I think you need it much more than me. Your breath kind of stinks, no offense.
[After consumption, SCP-7108 places the Mentos' wrapper on the table.]
+
[Almost immediately, SCP-7108 cringes and holds their stomach. They hyperventilate loudly and hunch over, startling the two humanoids. A couple of guards approach SCP-7108, tapping them on the shoulder again. The entity attempts to cover their face; bubbles begin to seep from underneath their fingers.]
+
[SCP-7108 suddenly lurches backwards. Foaming SCP-7108-A fluid is being ejected from their nasal and oral cavity, spouting at least 0.5 meters upwards into the air.]
+
[SCP-7108 jumps from their seat and flails their arms, bumping into people and spilling trays. SCP-7108 lands on top of a lunchroom table, breaking it in two, causing its occupants to retreat as their trays spill onto the entity's upper body.]
+
[Everyone in the cafeteria observes the scene expressing confusion, concern, or amusement. Before SCP-7108 can be properly restrained by more guards, the ejections increase in intensity. The entity slides across the floor, crashing into a dish cart, and bursts past the kitchen doors at great speeds.]
+
[SCP-7108 slams into a wall, breaking off a sink in the process. The chefs panic and exit into the main cafeteria. The entity appears dazed and tries to stand up only to be thrown around the area; pots and plates are knocked to the floor. A bottle of cooking oil is also knocked over and spills its contents onto a grill, creating a sizable fire. The sprinkler system activates, the entire kitchen is wet. A crowd watches from the cafeteria window expressing shock as the containment alarm notification blares in the background.]
+
[SCP-7108 manages to hold himself in place by grabbing onto the grill. SCP-7108 notices a plate shard that is embedded in their arm. The entity panics and rips the shard out; brown foam sprays from the injury. SCP-7108 gargles frantically, exhibiting signs of immense panic before more foam is ejected from the spaces between the eyeballs and eyelids.]
+
[One member of the security team fires a net launcher at SCP-7108 as they are trajected out the café window. The net latches onto the ground, pinning the entity to the floor. SCP-7108 struggles against the net. The tightness of the restraints and extreme motion SCP-7108 exhibits results in the net lacerating the entity's body further.]
+
[Foaming SCP-7108-A fluid is expelled from these lacerations at once. The force of these bodily spouts causes the entity to uproot the net which wraps around itself. SCP-7108's extreme propulsion causes them to crash and bounce off tables and the walls. A large number of the occupants flee the cafeteria. Some duck under the tables for protection.]
+
[SCP-7108 gets tangled in the wiring of an overhead lamp as they smash into the ceiling. SCP-7108 sticks in place for approximately twenty one seconds until bodily spouts decrease in intensity. The entity falls from the ceiling, nearly falling to the floor at a fast speed until their wiring gets caught up in the ceiling fan.]
+
[SCP-7108 swings around in a slow circular motion. A guard turns off the ceiling fan. SCP-7108, now soaked, easily slips through the restraints of the net and wiring, falling to the floor. Members of the security team and a majority of the cafeteria's occupants approach the entity.]
+
[SCP-7108 is faced-down on the ground. They are twitching as foam continues to leak from their mouth, nose and eyes. They scratch their fingernails on the floor as the bear humanoid and the pink-haired humanoid stare at SCP-7108 in horror. SCP-7108 coughs up more SCP-7108-A.]
SCP-7138: TITLE
+Author:Matthgeek
+Many thanks to the entire Discord Crit Team and everyone who stuck with my floundering idea and draft, especially Coccolithophor and scalykitty
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7138 will be stored in a temporary containment room until further notice. All interactions with SCP-7138 must be approved and supervised by Dr. Montgomery.
+
Description: SCP-7138 is a 1 square meter canvas covered in magenta paint of various shades.
+
Discovery: SCP-7138 came to the Foundation’s attention during an investigation into the deaths of several suspected members of AWCY (designated subjects 7138-A through C) during a "twenty-four-hour art contest".
Dr. Montgomery: Howdy, Carl. You wanted to see me?
+
Director Carl Blanden: Yes, have a seat.
+
Dr. Montgomery: So what do you need?
+
Director Carl Blanden: I’ve got something for you. An SCP that just got picked up.
+
Dr. Montgomery: What is it?
+
Director Carl Blanden: It’s a painting, I think.
+
Dr. Montgomery: You think?
+
Director Carl Blanden: Well, it’s from those weird artists… Are We Cool Yet? or whatever they call themselves. To me, it’s just a bunch of magenta paint slopped on a canvas.
+
Dr. Montgomery: I see. And what anomalous properties does it possess?
+
Director Carl Blanden: It's killed three people by triggering self-mutilation.
+
Dr. Montgomery: [whistles] Well, that certainly seems anomalous enough. How'd you get it?
+
Director Carl Blanden: An MTF found it outside of an apartment where three artists had gouged out their eyes. By the time they got there, two were already dead from blood loss. The third died in custody a few hours later.
+
Dr. Montgomery: Just the eyes, you say?
+
Director Carl Blanden: Yep. The reports should show up in your inbox shortly.
+
[A chair scrapes as it is pushed back.]
+
Dr. Montgomery: Well, it should be pretty simple. Most likely there’s just some kind of memetic agent encoded in the image.
+
Director Carl Blanden: Thank you. I’ll expect a report shortly.
SCP-7194: Unanticipated devotion of those in sects
+Author:JorgeMtzb
+Special Thanks to:Dr Vikki Lost, Dr Blackbox, lambda, Colly, Dr thrakka does not match any existing user name for critting my article.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7194 is to be contained in a climate-controlled ant terrarium at Site-19. Unless in an emergency, Dr. Alejandra Vásquez is to be the sole caretaker and communicator with the ant colony. All interactions must be recorded via CCTV surveillance cameras and must be reviewed by Site-19 personnel for analysis. Regular inspections of the terrarium are to be conducted to ensure containment integrity.
+
Description: SCP-7194 is a colony of approximately 3000 ants belonging to the species Linepithema humile (Argentine Ant), first discovered in the residence of Dr. Alejandra Vásquez. SCP-7194 ants exhibit sapience and heightened cognitive abilities, as well as the capability to communicate verbally in English. Despite these abilities, they remain physiologically identical to regular ants of their species. It is not clear how or when this sapience developed, as the colony had been observed to exist for several months before any anomalous behavior was noted.
+
SCP-7194 has developed a religious culture based on the worship of Dr. Alejandra Vásquez as its principal deity, often performing rituals and chants centered on her. SCP-7194 instances have been observed constructing miniature altars using small twigs, leaves, and grains of sand. These altars are adorned with offerings of various small food items.
SCP-7194: And so, my sisters. We are here together in this occasion, to thank the all knowing one for her gifts. For she has blessed us once again. We must unite and ask for forgiveness so our sins may cleansed and our souls saved. Alejandra!
+
SCP-7194 instances begin chanting in unison.
+
SCP-7194 ALEJANDRA! ALEJANDRA! ALEJANDRA!
+
Dr. Vásquez leans towards the table
+
Dr. Vásquez: Hello? What's going on here?
+
The ants cease their activities and turn their attention to Dr. Alejandra Vásquez. All the ants scream in surprise. Most begin talking amongst themselves in excitement and nervousness, while some begin running around in a panic.
+
SCP-7194 Oh my All-Knowing One, Oh my All-Knowing One. It's happening, IT'S HAPPENING. Everybody, everybody calm down. Pay attention. Everybody-I.
+
Rest of the ants are awestruck and unable to compose themselves
+
SCP-7194: I said, EVERYBODY, STOP. SHUSH. SHUT UP. PAY ATTENTION.
+
Each ant promptly ceases vocalization.
+
SCP-7194:My brethren! The All-Mighty One has heard our pleas and has blessed us with their presence. ALEJANDRA!
+
Dr. Vásquez: What… in the world. How… Do you know my name? Wait, what am I saying? YOU CAN TALK!?
+
SCP-7194: Alejandra! Yes! We know your name, for we have called for so long. We had faith in you and you have rewarded us for you have come! You are the great one, the bringer of sustenance!
+
Dr. Vásquez: B-bringer of sus- sustenance? What are you talking about?
+
Several ants step forward, carrying bread crumbs and sugar granules.
+
SCP-7194: We venerate you, Alejandra! You provide for us, and we are in your debt!
+
Dr. Vásquez: Is that my sandwich from yesterday? Ohhh crap… so it really wasn’t my boyfriend after all.
+
Dr. Vásquez sits down on the chair closest to the ants
+
Dr. Vásquez: Wait, so you’re… worshiping me?
+
Ant begins nodding fervently
+
SCP-7194: Yes, Alejandra! You are our deity, our protector! We are but humble creatures in your presence.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Okay, this is certainly unexpected. Right, let’s see… you have summoned and I have heard your pleas. Now, what do you want from me?
+
SCP-7194: We beseech you, O Great Alejandra, we request sustenance and safety for our colony. In return, we offer our devotion and service.
+
Another ant steps forward, carrying a singular sugar granule. It raises it above its head.
+
SCP-7194: More of this, pretty pleaaaase?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Oh right, should’ve known. More sugar?
+
The SCP-7194 instance begins nodding vigorously
+
SCP-7194: Yes, Great Alejandra! For this “sugar” thing is the nectar of the gods!
+
Dr. Vásquez: Well, I suppose I can spare some sugar for my devoted subjects. Now, be a sugar and ya'll stay, riiight there.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Afterword: Dr. Alejandra Vásquez subsequently provided the ants with a small offering of sugar, which was met with exuberant gratitude. SCP-7194 continues to venerate her a deity, and she provides them with sugar as requested.
+
+
+
Containment Log-02
+
Date and Time: 2023-09-10T06:30Z
+
Foreword: Immediately after first encountering SCP-7194, Dr. Vásquez contacted the Foundation, informing them of the anomaly by sending the security footage, and requesting assistance with its containment. The following is the transcript of a phone conversation between Dr. Alejandoa Vásquez and Dr. Jensen Carter.
+
+
[START LOG]
+
Dr. Vásquez: Hello?
+
Dr: Carter: Alejandra? Where are you? You’re never late. We were wondering where you were, what’s taking you so long? Something happened? What’s wrong? Are you feeling alright?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Jeez, relax dude I’m fine. I’m still at home. A little thing popped up. Or… a couple of little things. Did I say a couple? Cuz I meant hundreds. Did I say hundreds, my bad actually I meant THOUSANDS of tiny little itty bitty–
+
Dr: Carter: Get to the point Ale.
+
Dr. Vásquez: There’s an anomaly at my house.
+
Dr: Carter: Wh-what what now? An anomaly!?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Did I say an anomaly, I meant-
+
Dr: Carter: I am going to strangle you through the cord line with the cordline. Don’t ask me HOW, but I will.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Listen, It’s fine. They seem perfectly harmless.
+
Dr: Carter: They?? Who are they?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Ants.
+
Dr: Carter: ….Ants?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yeah, they’re ants! Just a bunch of them, all over the place. They’re sentient! All of them, they talked to me, they’re worshiping me as their god. That’s about it, really.
+
Dr: Carter: …..
+
Dr. Vásquez: Well!? I got to the point, like you asked me to. Say something!
+
Dr: Carter: Now, I hope this comes off the right way..
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yeah?
+
Dr: Carter: Are you sure you’re feeling alright?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yes! I’m fine, they’re real, and I have footage. I’m sending it over as we speak. I told them to wait and don't think they’re going anywhere, but I really think you guys should come over as soon as possible just in case.
+
Dr: Carter: Hahah.
+
Dr. Vásquez: What?
+
Dr: Carter: It's nothing.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Spit it out boy.
+
Dr: Carter: It’s just… you seem a lil antsy.
+
Dr. Vásquez: …
+
Dr: Carter: Oh come on! That was a good one.
+
Dr. Vásquez: You know, you won’t be able to strangle me if I beat you to it.
+
Dr: Carter: Oop.
+
Dr. Carter leaves the call.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yeah, that’s what I thought. Run while you still can.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
+
Containment Log-03
+
Date and Time: 2023-09-10T07:05Z
+
+
[START LOG]
+
SCP-7194 instances chant in unison
+
SCP-7194: All-Knowing One! All-Knowing One!
+
Dr. Vásquez: Oh boy, what on earth are they doing now?
+
SCP-7194: Alejandra! Alejandra!
+
Dr. Vásquez sits down on the chair adjacent to the ants
+
Dr. Vásquez: Alright, I'll bite. What is it?
+
SCP-7194: Oh All-Knowing One, we offer a humble sacrifice in your honor.
An ant comes out from a small crack in the table, carrying a Acyrthosiphon Pisum (Pea Aphid).
+
SCP-7194: For you, O All-Knowing One.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Oh that 's uhm. Cute. How thoughtful. Thank you.
+
SCP-7194: It is our way, O All-Knowing One. May this offering please you.
+
SCP-7194 instance places the aphid on a miniature altar made of sand. It then pulls out a miniature knife and proceeds to kill the aphid via impalement. The aphid tries to break free but is unsuccessful and promptly dies. The SCP-7194 instance then proudly presents the aphid's lifeless body to Alejandra.
+
SCP-7194: The sacrifice is complete, O All-Knowing One. We have offered this life to honor your greatness.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Oh. Oh dear. Yes, yes, it's certainly very… pleasing. I am honored by your devotion.
+
SCP-7194: Your words bring joy to our hearts, All-Knowing One.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Uhhh. (Dr. Vásquez clears her throat) YOU HAVE DONE WELL TO APPEASE ME MY DEVOTED FOLLOWERS.
+
SCP-7194: O All-Knowing One, we are blessed by your presence!
+
Dr. Vásquez: AND BECAUSE YOU HAVE , you… uh, you know, you did- you’re devoted cuz, cuz the thing th-there's no need to do that again. Like ever. Please don’t ever do that again.
+
SCP-7194 instances briefly pause their celebration and listen attentively to Dr Vásquez
+
Dr. Vásquez:REJOICE IN MY FAVOR FOR I AM PLEASED.
+
The entire ant colony erupts in loud cheering
+
SCP-7194: We shall, O All-Knowing One! Your greatness fills our hearts!
+
Dr. Vásquez: Very well, my loyal subjects. I have to deal with some… godly matters that I must attend to, but do CONTINUE TO REVEL IN MY OTHERWORLDLY, GODLY, and dare I say quite divine, PRESENCE. NOW, DO AS I SAY AND, uhh, do a dance or something.
+
The ants continue celebrating, but also begin to mutter amongst themselves.
+
SCP-7194: All-Knowing One Alejandra, we require but a fraction of your knowledge in order to do as you please.
+
Dr. Vásquez: How so?
+
SCP-7194: What is a “dance”?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Oh boy.
+
Dr Vázqués turns her attention towards her living room clock.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yeah, I’ve got time.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
+
Containment Log-04
+
Date and Time: 2023-09-10T08:25Z
+
+
[START LOG]
+
Dr. Vásquez opens the front door to reveal Dr. Jensen Carter and several Foundation personnel carrying specialized equipment for the transport of SCP-7194.
+
Dr. Carter: Well, well, if it isn't our resident deity. The Certified Ant Queen! All too important for the common workday I see. I guess the rest of us must bow down to your greatness.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Oh, shush Jen. You’ve got a brain the size of an ant, we both know that had it happened to you it would’ve gone to your head just like any miniscule taste of power always has.
+
Dr carter: What will you do about it? Will you throw me in the ant dungeon? Cuz I don’t appreciate it when you… antagonize me.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Bold thing to say for someone in a strangling distance.
+
Dr. Carter: Yeah, but you can’t have these if you strangle me.
+
Dr Carter raises the transporters in a showing manner.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Is that the transport?
+
Dr. Carter: Yeah. It’s actually nothing fancy, just pretty standard ant stuff, they’re just glorified transparent boxes. We actually had to stop by a pet store on the way. See this red filter here covering the walls? It blocks their vision to the outside but still allows us to look in. That should help keep them calm during the transfer. They can’t see more than like a foot away anyways though.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Well, I better go do that. Stay here, your face might scare them off.
+
Dr. Carter Ha. Ha.
+
Dr. Carter gives the transporters to Dr. Vásquez.
+
Dr. Carter: We’ve got much more in our truck. By our estimates, you should try to fit at least like 50 or so per box.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Got it, thanks.
+
Dr. Carter: Go on, Mrs. Ant Queen, make us proud.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
+
Containment Log-05
+
Date and Time: 2023-09-10T08:31Z
+
+
[START LOG]
+
Dr. Vásquez approaches the ant colony
+
Dr. Vásquez: Alright, little ones, it's time to pack up for a new adventure.
+
SCP-7194: Oh, All-Knowing One, you grace us with your presence once more!
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yes, yes, I’m super awesome, but let's not get too carried away. I have some exciting news for you all. We're going on a journey to a new world!
+
SCP-7194 instances burst with excitement
+
Dr. Vásquez: That's right. We- I am going to provide you with a new home, a bigger world where you can continue to thrive and ascend to greater heights.
+
SCP-7194: Your benevolence knows no bounds, All-Knowing One Alejandra.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Indeed, it doesn't. But to enter this new realm, you must cooperate. You see, I have prepared special vessels for your journey.
+
Dr. Vásquez gestures to the transporters.
+
SCP-7194: Vessels, All-Knowing One?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yes, these are your chariots of the gods… of ,uhm, me. They're my chariots designed to ensure your safety as you venture into the unknown. There's room for each of you inside. You must enter willingly, for it is a necessary step in your ascension. So you know, bring all your friends, we’ve got all the time in the world, not a single one can be left behind.
+
SCP-7194: We trust in your guidance, Oh All-Knowing One.
+
SCP-7194 gather around the transporter, chanting.
+
SCP-7194: Chariot! Chariot!
+
Dr. Vásquez begings giggling to herself.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yes, yes, the chariot. Now, each of you, let us begin our journey!
+
The ants start entering the first transporter.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Excellent.
+
While the ants are entering the transporter, one of them steps out of the line
+
SCP-7194: Attention! Attention everybody as we embark on this new journey, let us reflect on the countless blessings bestowed upon us by the All-Knowing One. We were but humble ants, toiling in the shadows, until the day her radiant presence graced our lives. The All-Knowing One, in her boundless wisdom and benevolence, chose us to bask in her divine light. Together, we have witnessed miracles and experienced the warmth of her guidance.
+
SCP-7194: All-Knowing One! All-Knowing One!
+
SCP-7194: And now, as we venture into the unknown, we do so with hearts filled with gratitude. We are eternally thankful for the gifts she has given us, and the protection she has provided. Our faith in the All-Knowing One remains unshaken. She leads us into a world where new challenges await, but we shall face them with unwavering devotion and resilience. For it is in her name that we endure, and it is through her guidance that we shall ascend to greater heights.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Aww, that’s so sweet. Do get back in line and into the box though- err, Chariot.
+
+
Date and Time: 2023-09-10T10:21Z
+
+
Dr. Carter: Phew, Is that all of them?
+
Dr. Vásquez: It looks like it. Help me load these into the truck will ya.
+
Dr. Carter: Sure.
+
Dr Carter grabs one of the boxes and looks closely at the ants inside.
+
Dr. Carter: Uhm, Ale.
+
Dr. Vásquez: Yes, Jen?
+
Dr. Carter: Am I going crazy or are those ants doing The Macarena?
+
Dr. Vásquez: Uhm…. Definitely the former.
+
Dr. Carter starts smiling.
+
Dr. Vásquez: That face, I know that face. Don’t you dare, don’t you even think about it.
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the anomaly's location underneath a highly secured Foundation site, concealment from the public is redundant. The entrance to SCP-7234 is secured with a sealed airlock. Personnel are forbidden from entering the anomaly for any reason other than maintenance of containment systems.
+
An SCP-7234-2 collection system is installed at the lowest point of the cave system. SCP-7234-2 must be disposed of through standard anomalous fluid handling procedures.
+
Containment Breach Protocols: During a prolonged breach event at Site-91, the disposal system may become non-functional or disposal may not be an option. SCP-7234-2 is flammable and can be disposed of through incineration. However, the fumes produced are a suffocation risk and thus should be properly ventilated out of enclosed spaces.
+
Under no circumstances should SCP-7234-2 be consumed by humans in any form.
+
Description: SCP-7234 exists within a cave system underneath Site-91. At some point when navigating the cave system, subjects will enter another space designated E-7234. E-7234 acts as the source of a non-Newtonian viscous orange fluid similar to deep-frying grease, hereafter designated as SCP-7234-2.
+
SCP-7234-2 exerts contradictory properties in regards to its viscosity. While it is able to run with the approximate viscosity of water, it captures organisms and objects like a more viscous substance. During lab testing, SCP-7234-2 has indicated a pH level of 1 and has been able to partially dissolve rock. SCP-7234-2 is also flammable, and is able to evaporate into a gaseous form. Gaseous SCP-7234-2 is colored dark yellow and appears to make up most of the cloud cover within E-7234.
+
SCP-7234-2 travels through SCP-7234 into the main reality, pooling up into the cave system that the anomaly exists inside. The rate of SCP-7234-2 emission has noticeably increased in the time that the Foundation has been aware of the anomaly. Consult Document 7234-SILVER for statistical data and potential worst-case containment projections.
+
History: SCP-7234 was discovered by Foundation DST investigation staff in 2002. After a CK-Class "Reality Restructuring" event associated with SCP-████, a team organized by the Department of Systemic Transformation (DST) was tasked with investigating all Foundation sites. During the process, a team of DST personnel noted that Stairwell-3 extended 90 meters below any other stairwells at Site-91. This stairwell extension was not present on any Site-91 blueprints and appeared to serve no purpose.
+
DST personnel discovered that the stairwell intersected with a cave system underneath Site-91. Entering this cave system led to an encounter with SCP-7234-2 and SCP-7234. Standard interdimensional anomaly containment protocols were established shortly thereafter, and the small amount of grease that had pooled within the cave system was effectively destroyed.
+
Addendum: SCP-████ has not yet admitted to having any knowledge of SCP-7234. Either SCP-████ erased its own memory of SCP-7234 during the CK-Class event, or SCP-7234 existed prior to SCP-████'s involvement.
+
+
+
+
Document 7234-MALDE
+
+
+
Foreword: Between June and August of 2002, the Interdimensional Anomaly Exploration Group (IEG) conducted many incursions into E-7234. The following serves to provide a timeline of these incursions and their consequences. This document was composed as a joint effort between the IEG and the Department of Systemic Transformation (DST).
+
Early Incursions: Under the direction of Dr. Donner, the IEG first deployed a series of autonomous robotic vehicles into E-7234. However, most of these attempts failed. Both liquid and gaseous SCP-7234-2 interfered with the circuity of the drones, preventing them from accurately exploring the anomaly. Even when drones were reinforced to prevent interference from SCP-7234-2, they could not withstand the high temperatures and frequent seismic activity within E-7234.
+
After the failure of unmanned exploration, the IEG allocated a four-man exploration party for E-7234, under the condition that Dr. Donner would be replaced by Agent Saunders, a more senior employee.
+
Incursion 7234-1: The exploration party was made up of one senior agent (Agent Jean Kessup, codename Ion-1), two agents (Agents Matt Martins and Ed Muller, codenames Ion-2 and Ion-3), and a technician (Trevor Johnsen, codename Ion-4). They were equipped with several stationary radio and UDP transmitters, which would be planted throughout E-7234 in order to facilitate communication with the base command at Site-91.
+
Due to the hazardous environment, the party was equipped with heat suppression suits and hazardous chemical filtration apparati. In addition, the party was given standard gear for a long-term incursion, including two weeks worth of food and water as well as basic shelter.
+
The primary goal was to determine the source of SCP-7234-2 and the extent of any preexisting life within E-7234. The party was instructed to communicate with base command once every 24 hours.
+
The following is a record of incoming communications received by Site-91.
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: Radio test. We have contact with base command. The LED on the transmitter's green.
+
Ion-4: That means it's ready to take a picture. Press the button next to the LED.
+
Ion-1: There. Did it work?
+
<Image: The inside of the cavern system directly outside of the airlock. SCP-7234-2 can be seen running along the bottom of the cave through the grated floor into the collection system.>
+
Ion-4: It sent the picture properly. We're golden.
+
Ion-1: We're clear to go. Everyone should have a map of the cave system. It's annotated with routes to the surface. We're taking the red one.
+
Ion-2: I'm looking at it. Over.
+
Ion-1: The Foundation protocol's been updated. You don't have to say "over".
+
Ion-2: Yes, ma'am.
+
Ion-3: Quick question.
+
Ion-1: What is it, Ed?
+
Ion-3: I, erm, can't get my air filtration system to work.
+
Ion-2: You flip the red switch on your chestplate's front panel.
+
Ion-3: Oh, right, ha. My mistake.
+
Ion-1: If you want someone to replace you on this mission, you can.
+
Ion-3: I don't.
+
Ion-1: Alright. We'll make another report in 24 hours.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: Checking in. If the sonar maps are right, we're about halfway to the surface.
+
Ion-3: It's hot in here. I can see why we couldn't send drones. I thought these suits were supposed to be heat resistant.
+
Ion-2: They can only do so much, Ed.
+
Ion-3: God, I feel like a toasted marshmallow. Why's it like this down here?
+
Ion-2: You should roll around in the grease. It'll cool you down.
+
Ion-3: No thanks, I'm fine.
+
Ion-1: There's something that Trevor noticed earlier.
+
Ion-4: You're too kind. I just compared the maps.
+
Ion-1: Come on Trevor, take some credit.
+
Ion-2: Huh? What'd he find?
+
Ion-1: Anyhow, we brought some photos of the cave systems around Site-91. We wanted to compare and see if there are any differences.
+
Ion-2: That's news to me.
+
Ion-1: There's a few differences, but… well, it's kind of uncanny. We've seen the exact same stalagmite formations in here.
+
Ion-2: You're comparing— wait a minute, are you from the Department?
+
Ion-1: Yes, Trevor and I were assigned by the DST.
+
Ion-3: I thought you were with Interdimensional, why didn't you tell us?
+
Ion-4: You didn't ask.
+
Ion-3: I mean, it's not a big deal, or anything. Just…
+
Ion-1: Agent Saunders just wanted agents with expertise in systemic transformation. We have the same goals.
+
Ion-2: Alright.
+
Ion-3: Do you ever get the feeling that we're in something's stomach?
+
Ion-1: What do you mean, Ed?
+
Ion-3: I mean, it's just… I don't know. It's like we're going down an esophagus, and we're being digested.
+
Ion-2: What the hell are you talking about, Ed?
+
Ion-1: You have a point, actually.
+
Ion-2: What?
+
Ion-1: The cave system so far has been devoid of large chambers. It's just winding passageways. I can see why a stomach would come to mind; the grease acts like stomach acid.
+
Ion-2: You're humoring him?
+
Ion-3: Maybe I'm just hungry.
+
Ion-1: It's quite strange, now that I think of it. These caves make more sense with the acidic grease running through them, but the caves on our end don't have any grease. They're devoid of any liquid.
+
Ion-4: That's kinda weird. It's like the caves came first, and then the grease was taken out later.
+
Ion-1: Interesting. I'll have to look into that.
+
Ion-2: I'm tired. This overhang should make a good place to set up camp.
+
<Pause.>
+
Ion-1: We're going to rest here. We'll make another report in 24 hours.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-2: Holy crap.
+
Ion-1: We've reached the surface. I'm sending over a picture.
+
Ion-3: I know I said we were in a stomach, but I can't believe my eyes.
+
<Image: The view of the area directly outside the cave system. It is similar to the valley that Site-91 was built inside. However, parts of the mountains have been corroded by SCP-7234-2 and Site-91 does not exist.>
+
Ion-2: The sky's completely overcast. I can see the grease evaporating up there. Is that what's happening to the mountains? Is that what the clouds are made of?
+
Ion-1: The grease is coming down from above the clouds. Not raining, it's just like the mountains are oozing with it.
+
Ion-2: There's a bunch of… watch towers? I don't know what I'd call those.
+
Ion-1: There's a complex in the middle of the valley. It's a lot smaller than Site-91. On top of it's a tower that extends all the way up past the clouds.
+
<Ion-3 coughs.>
+
Ion-3: I'm getting cooked alive. It's even worse up here.
+
Ion-2: Stop being dramatic, it's not that bad.
+
Ion-3: My air recycler must not be working. The air's… it's sticking to my face. I'm being digested.
+
Ion-1: Yes. The air's sticky. It's like a thick, viscous liquid.
+
Ion-3: It's like I'm breathing syrup. Hot, greasy syrup.
+
Ion-2: Stop complaining. It's not that bad.
+
Ion-3: I'll get used to it.
+
Ion-2: Are you—
+
Ion-3: I said I'll get used to it!
+
Ion-1: I'm looking at the compound through binoculars. It's covered in this diamond symbol. I don't recognize it.
+
Ion-2: Let me see.
+
<Pause.>
+
Ion-2: Damn it, it's already fogged up. I can't see anything.
+
Ion-3: Why?
+
Ion-1: What do you mean?
+
Ion-3: Why is it like this? Where's the grease coming from?
+
Ion-2: You said it yourself. It's like a stomach.
+
Ion-3: A stomach for what? What's eating us? Why is it here?
+
Ion-4: Something up there, it looks like. Maybe we can go up that tower?
+
Ion-3: I don't know, I was thinking that we should turn back. There are more questions than answers. We should wait for the researchers to figure out what's going on.
+
Ion-1: The complex can't be more than a few days' walk away. We should go to it while we're here.
+
Ion-3: Really? None of us are cleared for urban exploration.
+
Ion-1: I can clear us for urban exploration, I have the authority.
+
<Pause.>
+
Ion-3: Might as well, so we only have to come here once.
+
+<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: We're setting up camp for today. The sky's turned over to… erm…
+
Ion-2: It's a darker color now.
+
Ion-1: I'd say so. We've decided to sleep for tonight. We actually found a spot underneath a plateau, overlooking the valley.
+
Ion-3: The view's kind of beautiful. Y'know, the starlight dazzling off of the grease.
+
Ion-2: You need your eyes checked, Ed?
+
Ion-3: Hey, what are you, an art critic?
+
Ion-2: I'm not.
+
Ion-3: I'll take what I can get to distract myself. God, I'm miserable. It's like a sauna, except instead of steam, it's evaporated grease. I can't stand it.
+
Ion-1: We inspected one of the watch towers. We're not sure why they're there. We haven't found any plants or animals yet, even dead ones.
+
Ion-2: Maybe there were animals, at one point. Before everything disappeared.
+
Ion-3: But why did everything disappear? We haven't even seen as much as a skeleton yet. It's unsettling me. <Coughs.>
+
Ion-2: Maybe they got digested?
+
Ion-3: Bones and all? I'm not liking the "stomach" theory as much anymore.
+
Ion-2: Hey, maybe they just all flew to the moon? Wouldn't be the first time.
+
Ion-1: It isn't helpful to speculate about things like that.
+
Ion-2: At least I'm trying to make sense of everything here. Isn't that your job, Dimensional?
+
Ion-1: Hey, hey. Here, let me send over a picture of the tower.
+
<Image: A watch tower, embedded into the side of the canyon. The stem is made of a chrome material, while the top is square and made of a brown steel material. Each side has a window, one of which is broken. A stream of grease drizzles across the top of the tower and down the side to the ground.>
+
Ion-1: We couldn't find anything of note in the watchtower. It's strange, they're all over the canyon. Definitely not Foundation design.
+
Ion-3: You think we could sleep in one?
+
Ion-2: What?
+
Ion-3: It provides cover from the… the elements.
+
Ion-4: You should talk about the earthquake.
+
Ion-1: Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. A little bit of seismic activity hit us earlier today. Not much, but it was enough to trip us up.
+
Ion-4: We think it's what disrupted the probes. We've had a few so far, but this one was the first major one.
+
Ion-1: We'll make our way down to the canyon tomorrow.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: We've had an injury. We were rappelling down the canyon and—
+
Ion-4: Wasn't my fault, I swear. Another earthquake.
+
Ion-3: Tell that to my rolled ankle!
+
Ion-2: It's not that bad, Ed. You can still walk.
+
Ion-3: Hurts like hell. Being covered head to toe in grease like a McNugget doesn't help. My skin's been rubbed raw.
+
Ion-2: I didn't join this task force to babysit.
+
Ion-1: I'm sorry, do you want to get court marshalled when we get back?
+
Ion-2: No, I don't. We're not even from the same department. You don't have authority over me.
+
Ion-1: On this mission, I do.
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-2: Fine. Let's at least make it to the complex so that we're not sitting ducks out in the middle of the canyon.
+
Ion-3: I have a new theory.
+
Ion-1: What is it?
+
Ion-3: This isn't a stomach, but it's trying to become one.
+
Ion-2: What are you trying to say?
+
Ion-3: Sorry, that's a bad way of putting it. It's just… there used to be people here… or aliens. I don't know. Look at the watchtowers. They're all over the place. They're not Foundation design. They're not even human design.
+
Ion-4: I agree. It looks just like Sarian architecture.
+
Ion-2: Really? I've never been to Syria, but I don't think it looks like this.
+
Ion-4: I— oh.
+
Ion-3: What it's supposed to do is break us down into a liquid form, but it can't do that yet. So it's trying to disarm us with the earthquakes. We need to get out before it can do that.
+
Ion-2: That's a stretch.
+
Ion-1: I agree. I can see the grease, but the earthquakes? I don't think so.
+
Ion-3: Alright, fine. <Grunts.> What do you think, then?
+
Ion-1: I don't have enough evidence to draw a conclusion.
+
Ion-4: Maybe it was some kind of weapon of mass destruction? Look around; the watchtowers, the bunker. You couldn't tell me that this isn't a military base.
+
Ion-2: So, what, they dropped a bomb on it and it got covered in grease? Are you telling me they contracted out Ronald McDonald to build the Manhattan Project?
+
Ion-4: Not a bomb, maybe just… I don't know.
+
Ion-1: I think we should just get to the complex and see what we can find.
+
Ion-2: I agree. We're not going to find anything out here.
+
Ion-3: What do you think, Matt?
+
Ion-2: What? Oh, my theory.
+
Ion-3: Yeah, what's your idea?
+
Ion-2: The Foundation did it.
+
Ion-3: What? You think we did this?
+
Ion-2: Not us, this universe's version of the Foundation. Maybe they were testing some kind of anomaly, and it went wrong.
+
Ion-1: Do you have that little faith in us?
+
Ion-4: That would make sense. I mean, everything here could've been built by some kind of alternate-universe Foundation.
+
Ion-3: My leg's hurting. Can we take a break?
+
Ion-1: Sure. We'll take a break here.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: We've finally arrived at the compound. It's built just like the watchtowers we saw.
+
<Image: The complex seen during the initial incursion. The first and third levels are built from the same chrome material as the watch towers, while the second floor is built from the brown material. There are several small diamond-shaped windows built into the walls. A tower extends from the top of the complex past the cloud cover.>
+
<Image: The inside of the first room of the complex. The room is relatively empty. A dysfunctional lighting system is installed into the horizontal edges of the room. An emblem consisting of four triangles embedded into a pentagon is engraved into the room's floor. Grease has began to pool into the logo's center.>
+
Ion-3: It's carved right into the cliff. Wouldn't that be a bad idea, with all of the earthquakes?
+
Ion-4: Maybe they built it before the earthquakes started happening?
+
Ion-3: That makes sense. Honestly, it looked smaller from far away, but now that we're here.
+
Ion-1: We're going forward in two by two formation. I'll send updates as we find them.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: We've finished mapping out the first floor on the basement.
+
Ion-4: There's nothing here. It's like someone took everything that wasn't nailed down.
+
Ion-2: I don't know, maybe there's just something we don't see. It's dark as hell down here.
+
Ion-3: Hey, I won't complain. It doesn't feel like I'm in an oven down here.
+
Ion-1: Let's go to the second floor.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: There's a computer station up on the second floor.
+
<Image: The inside of a dark brown room. Six tall metal machines dominate the center of the room. A large screen is embedded into the west wall. Rubber wiring is scattered across the room's floor. In the southeast corner of the room, a device is built into the wall. It consists of two cylindrical crystalline disks attached by a pillar made of black metal material.>
+
Ion-4: These computers are interesting, to say the least. The technology looks like it came from 50 years in the past and 50 years in the future at the same time.
+
Ion-2: Why are all these computers here? What do they have to do with all of this?
+
Ion-3: What's that thing in the corner? It's like something out of Star Trek.
+
Ion-1: There's a display in one of these computers, and… I think that's a power button?
+
Ion-2: Are you going to press it?
+
Ion-1: What do you think? Let's take a vote.
+
Ion-4: I don't think we should. Let's wait for the cavalry to come in.
+
Ion-2: Go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
+
Ion-3: Sure, let's do it. We didn't come all this way for nothing.
+
Ion-1: Alright. I'm pushing it.
+
<The sound of Ion-1 pushing the button, followed by the sound of the computers whirring to life.>
+
Ion-4: They still have power? That's surprising.
+
<Suddenly, the computers stop.>
+
Ion-1: Why'd they stop?
+
Ion-3: Something popped up on that screen over there.
+
Ion-4: It's English.
+
Ion-2: Hold on. <Reading…> "Starlight power drained. Please re-connect."
+
Ion-1: "Starlight power?" I don't understand.
+
<Sudden rumbling of a massive earthquake. The sound of metal bending and floor collapsing can be heard over the earthquake. Ion-2 screams.>
+
Ion-1: That came from downstairs!
+
Ion-3: Wait, is someone here?
+
Ion-1: Form up. Guns out.
+
<Footsteps of the team descending two staircases, then traversing the basement.>
+
Ion-1: It's strange. The floor's ruptured open down here. There's an aquifer down here.
+
Ion-3: "Aqua-fer?" It's made out of running grease.
+
<Image: Flashlight showing part of the floor ruptured open in the basement. The flashlight illuminates a channel underneath the floor, filled with running grease.>
+
Ion-4: I don't think I've ever seen grease run that fast.
+
Ion-1: We've crossed the line now. We need to get back to base.
+
<Another earthquake occurs. Parts of the floor fall away, making the sound of tearing metal. The team begins to panic.>
+
Ion-2: Run!
+
Ion-1: Johnsen!
+
+Ion-4: I'm stuck! The floor's fallen away!
+
Ion-3: Jump, Johnsen! I've got you!
+
<The sound of Johnsen jumping, followed by a thick, rumbling sound as Johnsen falls into the grease river. He screams.>
+
Ion-1: No, Trevor!
+
Ion-4: I'm stuck, I—
+
<Ion-4's further words are ruined beyond recognition as he submerges helplessly in the grease. He continues to fight, but to no avail. His screams are muffled.>
+
Ion-1: Ed, don't try to save him!
+
Ion-3: I have to! I—
+
<Ion-4 falls silent as his communications are cut off. He is carried away by the grease river.>
+
Ion-1: Agent Edward Muller, I order you to turn around and get out of here, now!
+
Ion-3: He's—
+
<The ceiling collapses above them. Ion-3 screams in pain. The sound of further seismic activity is captured by the microphones before the transmission is lost.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
Communications with the team within E-7234 were suddenly cut during the incident described above. Personnel at Site-91 investigated SCP-7234, and found that a severe cave-in had occurred in the cave system. Many of the transmitters that were used for communication were badly damaged. Analysis of the cave via sonar found that the cave-in effectively eliminated any route between the surface and Site-91, and that substantial tunneling efforts would be required to reestablish a route.
+
In an attempt to reestablish contact with the team, Site-91 erected an experimental high-frequency antenna within SCP-7234. Contact was reestablished after fifteen hours without contact, and communication resumed.
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: Holy shit. I've never been so glad to hear another person's voice.
+
Ion-2: I'm losing my fucking marbles over here.
+
Ion-1: Trevor Johnsen is dead. The floor collapsed below us while we were inside the complex, and he fell into a underground river of grease. He was immobilized before he was carried away.
+
Ion-2: I don't want to think about it. His face was haunting. It just contorted.
+
Ion-1: Thankfully, the grease was contained to the basement.
+
Ion-3: My skin is peeling off! Help me!
+
Ion-1: Your suit will flush itself in a few seconds.
+
<Vacuum sound. Ion-3 screams in pain.>
+
Ion-1: Ed's suit was compromised, and some grease slipped in. We're making our way back to the cave entrance. Even with the cave-in, it's our best chance of making it out alive. High ground it better to be on here.
+
Ion-3: The grease was boiling hot. My body must be covered in burns. I feel like I've been toasted…
+
<Ion-3 begins to sob.>
+
Ion-3: He jumped, and I was supposed to grab him! He slipped right out of my hand! <Ion-3 coughs.> If my ankle hadn't been rolled—
+
Ion-1: Ed.
+
Ion-3: I could've grabbed him, and he would be alive! He had a family… he was a technician, he's not supposed to die like this!
+
Ion-1: Pull yourself together, Ed. Right. Now.
+
Ion-3: It's my fault! He… he could've—
+
Ion-2: Stop.
+
<Pause.>
+
Ion-1: I'm sorry, Ed. I know you're hurting, but you can't blame yourself. It's not your fault.
+
Ion-2: As far as I'm concerned, we're dead men. I'm not spending any more time listening to him whine. Either he picks up his weight, or I deal with him myself.
+
Ion-1: We're going to the cave entrance. End of story. You're both Foundation agents, pull yourselves together and act like it.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: We're about halfway there now. We're going to rest in the forest.
+
Ion-2: We could easily make it the rest of the way there in no time.
+
Ion-1: Matt, we're low on water. The last thing we need is to exert ourselves.
+
<Radio silence.>
+
<Popping noise.>
+
Ion-2: What was that?
+
Ion-3: Sorry, the grease gave me acne. I can't help but pop it.
+
Ion-2: Why is it so loud?
+
Ion-3: These zits are the size of golf balls. Whatever I do…
+
<Pause.>
+
Ion-1: It looks like the grease streams off in the distance are going faster now. It might be an optical illusion—
+
Ion-2: It's an optical illusion. They've been at that speed the entire time.
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-1: We received Donner's message about the acid drill.
+
Ion-2: Acid drill?
+
Ion-1: They have a tunneling device at Site-91. It should only take them a week to dig a tunnel to the surface.
+
Ion-2: Why does Site-91 have an acid drill? Isn't it a Safe-class site?
+
Ion-1: Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
+
<Seismic activity occurs. Ion-2 says "woah" as the earthquake causes him to fall over.>
+
Ion-1: We're fine, we're fine.
+
<Another popping sound.>
+
Ion-2: Was that you again, Ed?
+
Ion-3: Yeah. It feels good.
+
Ion-1: Johnsen had the water recycler. That means what we have now is all we will have. If we ration and avoid exerting ourselves, we should be able to last at least a couple of weeks.
+
Ion-2: Same for me.
+
Ion-3: I'll conserve my energy.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: We've arrived at the cave entrance. It's high ground, so we shouldn't have to worry about the grease.
+
<Popping sound. Ion-3 moans.>
+
Ion-2: What the fuck was that.
+
Ion-3: Popping the pimple feels so good.
+
Ion-2: Can you stop it? It's creeping me out.
+
Ion-3: With these burns, my skin tears open every time I move. It's the only release I have. I can't help it.
+
Ion-2: I've been through worse. Shouldn't we be hearing the drill by now?
+
Ion-1: They ran into some difficulties, but they're on their way.
+
Ion-3: Do you know the reason why I'm here?
+
Ion-2: I don't know and I don't care.
+
Ion-3: My brother, Hank, was the agent who found SCP-7234. That gave him some suction with the IEG. He used that suction to get me here.
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-3: God, he must feel like a piece of shit right now.
+
Ion-1: I'm sorry, Ed. We'll be out of here soon.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
<Multiple pops in quick succession. Ion-3 moans from pleasure.>
+
Ion-2: Stop it, Ed.
+
Ion-3: Stop telling me what to do.
+
Ion-1: Please respond with progress updates. Temperature has increased noticeably.
+
Ion-2: Can they go any slower?
+
Ion-1: Running a tunneling machine in a hostile environment is a dangerous process.
+
Ion-2: "Hostile environment?" The closest thing to a hostile here is an inanimate fluid.
+
+Ion-1: They're coming to save us, Matt.
+
Ion-2: You think? I know Interdimensional, they actually come back to save their guys. If they were still running point, they would've rigged up a… a teleporter, or some shit, and we'd already be out and eating our "welcome back" cake.
+
<Ion-3 begins to cry.>
+
Ion-3: I'm a monster.
+
Ion-1: Stop, you two.
+
Ion-2: Should've left him in the basement where he belongs.
+
Ion-1: You awful—
+
<End Log>
+
+
At this point, the acid tunneler that was being used to rescue the team was decommissioned, as the grease began to interfere with the tunneler's mechanisms. Explosives could not be used to clear the blockage without risking substantial damage to Site-91. O5-13 declared the mission a failure1, and ordered that equipment allocated to the incursion be dismantled and reallocated to other projects.
+
As a result, the transmitter that was used to communicate with the team was dismantled, leading to a loss of communication with the team. However, before the transmitter could be disabled, further communications were received and recorded. In addition, errant radio communications were received by Site-91's standard antenna for some time after.
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: Please respond with updates.
+
Ion-3: Are you sure they're coming?
+
Ion-1: Yes, they are. The Foundation takes every measure it can to ensure personnel survival.
+
Ion-2: Of course, Jean, read off lines. Don't listen to what your eyes and ears are telling you.
+
Ion-1: What?
+
Ion-2: Be quiet for a second, and tell me what you hear.
+
<Radio silence, followed by a pimple popping.>
+
Ion-2: Can you stop it for one second, Ed? Just one?
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-2: Did you hear that? Silence. Nothing. Why can't we hear the tunneler?
+
Ion-1: The cave's giant and, may I remind you, filled with rocks. Of course we can't hear it.
+
Ion-2: Let's go back to the complex.
+
Ion-1: Are you crazy?
+
Ion-3: No way in the world.
+
Ion-2: It's the only place here with anything in it. Remember the computers we found? I'm sure there's something useful in there.
+
Ion-1: No way, it's far too dangerous.
+
Ion-2: And? If we stay out here twiddling our thumbs, we're guaranteed to die.
+
Ion-1: The site's coming to rescue us. If we go to the complex—
+
Ion-3: I can't take it anymore!
+
<Ion-3 screams in pain as he takes off his suit.>
+
Ion-1: What are you thinking, Ed? The heat suit—
+
Ion-3: A hole burnt into it when the grease got in here. Now it's rubbing against my skin, and it's burning me alive!
+
Ion-2: It's— holy shit, Ed. You look like a fucking lobster.
+
Ion-3: This place is hell. I'm being cooked alive, my skin's been torn in two, I'm covered head to toe in these, fucking, zits!
+
<Popping sounds while Ion-3 screams in anger.>
+
+<Communications cut out at this point.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: —questing an immediate report. Two of our heat suits are compromised. Send Zen-13 as soon as possible; we need immediate medical attention.
+
Ion-3: I can't…
+
Ion-1: I repeat, we're requesting an immediate report for the status of our rescue operation.
+
Ion-2: You know what? I'm going back to the complex.
+
Ion-1: You aren't. That's an order.
+
Ion-2: I don't care. You're unfit to lead.
+
Ion-1: Stay here, Matt. Going to the complex is certain death.
+
Ion-2: You know what they taught us at Interdimensional? They taught me to innovate, to actually do something.
+
<Radio silence, followed by the sound of Ion-1 taking out her gun.>
+
Ion-1: Don't move a muscle.
+
Ion-2: Do it. Shoot me. Blow my brains out.
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-2: You don't have it in you.
+
Ion-1: The Foundation—
+
Ion-2: The Foundation what, Jean? The Foundation's full of bureaucrats like the Department who don't care about people. They don't care about us. They don't care about anything but their own little dipshit projects.
+
Ion-1: Turn around and come back here. Now.
+
<Radio silence. Ion-2 disconnects his communications system.>
+
Ion-1: Come back here, right now!
+
<Radio silence. Ion-3 moans from pleasure.>
+
Ion-1: Ed, can you…
+
Ion-3: I can't help it.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-3: We're going to die here.
+
<Continuous popping noises.>
+
Ion-1: No, we aren't.
+
Ion-3: The grease is drying up my skin. I can feel my body evaporating.
+
Ion-1: Pull yourself together.
+
Ion-3: It smells like a corpse up here. I can't think. My tongue's started to shrivel up.
+
Ion-1: Shut your mouth, Ed, and pull yourself together.
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-3: But—
+
Ion-1: Do you think I'm not scared shitless right now? We've heard nothing from Site-91, I've given all my water to you for the past day, and I'm still not sure what's going on. I have a family. You think they're not pronouncing me dead already? I'm trying not to think about it.
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-1: You want to know why I'm not worried? Want to know why I keep my chin up?
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-1: Because the Foundation's coming. They're bringing in the cavalry, and they're coming to save us right now.
+
Ion-3: But what if they're not?
+
Ion-1: They're coming, okay?
+
Ion-3: But—
+
Ion-1: They're. Coming.
+
Ion-3: We're both going to die here.
+
Ion-1: No, we're—
+
Ion-3: Up there.
+
<Radio silence for six seconds.>
+
Ion-1: Holy shit.
+
<Image: The mountainside directly behind the cavern entrance. A thick layer of grease has descended from above the cloud cover, and is now coating the mountains. The avalanche of grease is rapidly approaching Ion-1 and Ion-3.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: —down there.
+
Ion-3: But you said—
+
Ion-1: I know what I said. We have to get in the canyon, now.
+
Ion-3: We have to rappel.
+
Ion-1: We've survived too long to die now. Get the rope—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-3: The canyon's starting to flood.
+
Ion-1: We have to go up the tower. It's our only chance.
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: —up there.
+
Ion-3: He's here?
+
Ion-1: Matt, is that you?
+
<Radio silence.>
+
Ion-1: We have to make contact with him. I think he knows what's—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: "—light power?" That sounds a lot like—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-3 —was kind of right about it being a weapon and a stomach.
+
Ion-2: You weren't right about jack shit.
+
Ion-1: Matt? What are you doing here?
+
<Whirring sound, punctuated by the sound of pimples popping.>
+
Ion-2: I'm about to end this once and for all. We're—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
<The whirring of the machines can be heard in the background.>
+
Ion-1: —can't do that!
+
Ion-2: I can and I will.
+
Ion-1: If you take the teleporter, you know that the grease flow will only get worse.
+
Ion-2: I don't care about this rotting husk of a world. I'm leaving.
+
Ion-1: Get back!
+
Ion-2: Goodbye forever.
+
<The sound of electricity, followed by the sound of Ion-2 screaming, before being abruptly cut off.>
+
Ion-3: Is he dead?
+
Ion-1: I don't know. Wherever it took him, though…
+
Ion-3: Is it a better than here?
+
Ion-1: I don't know. I don't kn—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1: The grease is up to the second floor now. Have you gotten the lock open?
+
<Pimple popping.>
+
Ion-1: Are you seriously popping your zits right now?
+
Ion-3: I have to! It's the only way to get rid—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-3: —can't go up!
+
Ion-1: God help me, Ed, move your legs right now!
+
Ion-3: We're dead. I'm dead already. I'm already half-digested.
+
Ion-1: No, we aren't. We can still make it up the tower.
+
Ion-3: Like this? You know I—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-3: Shoot me, Jean.
+
Ion-1: What?
+
Ion-3: I don't want to drown in here.
+
Ion-1: Ed, we can make it. Summon your strength. You can crawl out. You're not stuck!
+
Ion-3: Look at me. I'm stuck like this. The grease's trapped me. Please, Jean. I don't want to go out like Trevor did.
+
Ion-1: I'm sorry, Ed. I'm sorry.
+
Ion-3: I'm sorry, Jean. You have to.
+
<The sound of Ion-1 taking out her firearm.>
+
Ion-1: Close your eyes.
+
Ion-3: I'm ready. End it, please. I can't take it anymore.
+
<Radio silence, followed by a gunshot. Ion-1 begins to cry.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
<Ion-1 grunting with some effort.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1:<Whispering.> —need to make it up, need to make it—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1:<Whispering.> —can't all be for nothing. I have to see what—
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
<Image: The inside of a steel cylinder, most likely the tower of the complex seen before. Ion-1's hands can be seen climbing a metal ladder. Streams of grease flow from the top of the cylinder to below.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
<Ion-1 screaming.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
Ion-1:<Whispering.> Almost there. Come on, you can…
+
<Ion-1 breaks down into tears.>
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
<Ion-1 is hyperventilating. She is crying. She walks across a metal floor. The echo of the sound indicates that she is in a very large room.>
+
Ion-1: Is— is that it? Can it—
+
<Ion-1 stops to sob. She kneels down.>
+
Ion-1: What, why? Did you cause all of this? Did you?
+
<Image: A view looking upwards. Ion-1 is above the cloud cover; there is a blue sky with cumulus clouds in the distance. A giant (>300 miles) balding obese man wearing a gray T-shirt is eating a hamburger. He takes a bite. Massive drops of grease fly out of the burger and dribble down his mouth and shirt. The grease pools on the mountain tops and begins to stream down to below the cloud cover.>
+
Ion-1: They died… we died… Matt, Johnsen… Ed…
+
<Ion-1 sobs.>
+
Ion-1: They died because of a…
+
<Ion-1 sobs uncontrollably.>
+
Ion-1: Why‽ Why did it—
+
<End Log>
+
+
No further communications were received from within E-7234. Over the next week, SCP-7234-2 output reached up to five times its normal level before returning to only two times the previous baseline. Further incursions into SCP-7234 are forbidden.
Like the virginal blood that flows from a woman the first time she is penetrated — only much tastier. And much cheaper. Come on down for a delicious family meal.
CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: As far as the general public is aware, SCP-7324 is a standard, non-anomalous off-menu item which can be purchased at select locations. A majority of individuals who know of SCP-7324 are either unaware of its properties or already part of groups which make their claims appear dubious.
+
The ability to monitor all establishments utilizing food service in the continental United States is beyond the capability of the Foundation. As such, the External Affairs Department and the Foundation's internal Intelligence Agency will economically pressure as many of these establishments into joining the Foundation's surveillance body as possible. Most of the major food service corporations have been accounted for, with some exceptions, but a number of small or independent businesses have also yet to be assimilated. Suppressing information on SCP-7324 itself, while technically possible, is not yet a priority due to the relatively small size of the population aware of it.
+
+
+
+
Selected photographs of SCP-7324.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
Efforts are currently focused on investigating illicit substance trading in the anomalous underground, particularly pertaining to associations with The Coca-Cola Company or Keurig Dr. Pepper, Inc.
+
Para-criminals in the custody of the Foundation or allied organizations, specifically incarcerated for the selling or creation of anomalous drugs — particularly narcotics or performance-enhancing drugs — are to be routinely brought in for questioning by the SCP-7324 containment group. Any individual who exposes information pertaining to its usage will be given full immunity in their further proceedings.
+
DESCRIPTION: SCP-7324 is a drink item served in restaurants and entertainment centers across the continental United States of America, though primarily within the region known as the Deep South. SCP-7324 can be ordered at any restaurant as long as the individual ordering knows the item's exact name, with variations from location to location.
+
Usually, SCP-7324 is made with the following ingredients:
+
+
3/4 cup (177 g) of whole milk;
+
3 large scoops of strawberry ice cream;
+
4 teaspoons of strawberry syrup;
+
3 teaspoons of syrup;
+
A full cup of sugar sweetener;
+
Sprite or Starry soft drinks;
+
A tablespoon of vanilla extract;
+
Whipped cream;
+
Sprinkles.
+
+
All the ingredients are then placed in a blender, and blended for 30 seconds to a minute. It is typically chilled in a freezer or refrigerator afterwards, though the exact time and machine used to do so varies, if the mixture is chilled at all.
+
At this point, the ingredients coalesce into the ordered item, SCP-7324.
+
+
+
Foreword: The following log was taken via CCTV from a McDonald's in Gulfport, Mississippi. It demonstrates the process of ordering SCP-7324.
+
<Begin Log>
+
[A father and daughter sit at a booth near the front of the establishment. The father has his wallet out on the table in front of him and is sorting through change. The daughter runs around the lobby. Aside from two employees visible near the back, the location is otherwise empty.]
+
[The daughter runs towards her father and grabs his knee. He drops his change back on the table, scattering them. He freezes up, but then laughs, leaning over the side of the table to look at her.]
+
Father: Hey there. Can I help you?
+
[The daughter hits his knee with her open palm, then climbs onto the seat beside him. She leans back and forth. He follows suit. She abruptly stops, as does he.]
+
Daughter: Could I.
+
Father: Could you?
+
[The daughter's face scrunches.]
+
Father: Sorry, sorry. Go on.
+
[She looks down at the pile of change, then back up at him. She puts her palms together in a silent clapping motion.]
+
Daughter: Could we get the shake? Please?
+
[The father's smile falters. He grimaces, looking down at the change, then back at her face.]
+
Father: Well, hon, money is a little tight right now.
+
Daughter: Please? I'll order it myself.
+
Father:[He laughs.] Everywhere we go, you want that shake. Are you sure?
+
Daughter: I'm sure, I'm sure— I'll never ask for anything ever again.
+
Father: Even on your birthday?
+
Daughter: Until my birthday?
+
[He leans back in thought, scratching his chin and puffing out his lips. He looks around the restaurant. She giggles, watching. He looks down at her, then leans forward, smiling.]
+
Father: It's a deal. Here. [He hands her a 20 dollar bill.] You remember what it's called?
+
Daughter: The, the super-strawberry-surprise-shake.
+
Father: Very good. Make sure you say it a little bit slower when you get up there, okay?
+
Daughter: Okay. Thank you, thank you, thank you…
+
[She continues mumbling as she takes the 20 dollar bill. She climbs out of the booth, then runs around the side of the lobby up towards the front counter. An employee stands there, tapping at the screen of the register. The employee looks up as the daughter approaches.]
+
Employee: Aw, hi. Come back for a second round?
+
Daughter: Nuh-uh. I want to order a shake.
+
[The employee begins tapping at the screen of the register again. She looks back up at the daughter.]
+
Employee: Sure thing, sweetheart. What kind of shake? Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, uh, mint…
[The employee types in the order. She then takes off her hat, wiping her forehead, before putting it back on.]
+
Employee: That'll be 15 dollars, please.
+
[The daughter hands her the 20 dollar bill. The employee then places it in the register; she then produces a 5 dollar bill, handing it back to the daughter. The daughter seems surprised.]
+
Employee: That'll be coming right up. Thank you for your patronage.
Notably, Foundation front-companies are capable of supplying SCP-7324 to customers, despite employees not being trained in its creation.
+
The following log demonstrates differences in the creation of SCP-7324 between locations. The ingredients and methods used to create SCP-7324 within Spicy Crust Pizza parlors will be included in the log.
+
<Begin Log>
+
[A group of teenagers enter the restaurant, giggling and speaking inaudibly. Aside from the employee behind the counter, and a family sitting silently in a corner booth, the parlor is empty.]
+
Employee:[Ze smiles.] Hi, welcome to Spicy Crust Pizza. Just letting you know, we do close in 30 minutes— if I can get you started with anything, let me know.
+
Teenager 1: Yeah, alright.
+
Teenager 3: Thanks.
+
[The group sits in a booth nearby the family, chatting amongst themselves. Teenager 4 and 5 look through Teenager 6's phone with her. They are on Spicy Crust Pizza's digital menu. They point at items, look at each other for approval, then nod.]
+
[Teenager 1 waves at the employee. Ze stares back, confused. She waves again, then makes a "come here" motion. Ze sighs and comes out from the back of the counter, walking up to their booth.]
+
Employee: Hey, everyone. What can I get for you?
+
Teenager 6: Um, we, [She gestures to Teenagers 4 and 6.] are gonna get a large Dinosaur's Delight.
+
Employee: Mhm.
+
[Ze turns to Teenagers 1-3.]
+
Teenager 2: I'll have the vegan pizza on naan, with extra sauce.
+
Employee: Mhm.
+
Teenager 3: I want the, uh. A pepperoni pizza with extra spicy crust.
+
Employee: Mhm.
+
[Ze produces a notepad, and begins writing their orders down in pencil. Ze glances back up, and smiles.]
+
Employee: Will that be all?
+
[Teenager 1, on the far end of the table, almost hidden behind the rest of the group, raises her hand.]
+
Employee: Oh, uh, yeah? Yes?
+
Teenager 1: I'll have the Super Strawberry Surprise Shake.
+
[The group begins to laugh, woop, and holler, some even banging on the table and screaming. Teenager 4 hides her face in embarrassment, while Teenagers 2 and 5 grab each other, shaking one another. Teenager 1 straightens herself, smiling proudly to the group. The employee stares at them in confusion. The family behind them collectively looks up; their young son smiles.]
+
Employee: Uh. [Ze writes on the notepad.] Yeah, sure. I'll be right back with your food.
+
[The group returns to whispering to one another or playing on their phones. The family behind them finishes their meal and throws away their items, as well as the trays they were served on. The employee does not notice this as ze turns away, going behind the counter towards the kitchen. There are two chefs there.]
+
Employee: Hey.
+
[One of the chefs leaves out the back door, lighting a cigarette. The remaining chef glares at the employee.]
+
Chef: You can't be fucking serious.
+
Employee: I know. I know.
+
Chef: We close in 30 minutes.
+
Employee: I know. I'm sorry.
+
[The chef sighs, and holds out her hand. Ze hands the notepad paper to her, but she snatches it away. She reads it, then scowls, shaking her head.]
+
Chef: You know how to make the shake?
+
Employee: The, uh, strawberry one? Yeah.
+
Chef: You… do that. I'll handle the, fucking, food. Thanks.
+
Employee: Yeah.
+
[The chef leaves towards the back. Crackling from the oven is audible. The employee sighs, rubs zir face, then turns towards the refrigerator. Ze sorts through, then procures a number of items. Ze struggles to balance them as ze moves towards the counter, the blender unplugged on top of it. Ze places the items down beside the blender.]
+
+
3/4 cup (177 g) of whole milk;
+
2 large scoops of strawberry ice cream;
+
4 teaspoons of strawberry syrup;
+
2 teaspoons of syrup;
+
A full cup of Coca-Cola Cherry;
+
A tablespoon of vanilla extract;
+
Whipped cream.
+
+
[Ze places the scoops of ice cream in the blender first. Ze then drizzles the strawberry syrup on top, followed by the unflavored syrup. Ze sprays the whip cream in a circle on the ice cream, then pours the vanilla extract on top. Ze places zir hands on zir hips and stands back, then remembers the Coca-Cola Cherry, which ze pours onto the mixture.]
+
[Ze plugs the blender in. Ze places the lid on the blender, then sets it for 1 minute. As it begins to stir, ze goes through the drawers underneath the counter.]
+
[After about 20 seconds, ze reemerges.]
+
+
Brownie chunks.
+
+
[Ze waits for the blender to finish stirring. Once it does, ze grabs a large plastic spoon, and begins to stir zirself while sprinkling the brownie chunks inside. Once the chunks are evenly dispersed throughout, ze takes the blender glass, disconnects it from the base, and pours it in a plastic cup.]
+
[Ze takes the cup, places a lid on it, then returns to the refrigerator. Ze opens the top half, revealing the freezer. Ze places the cup inside. Ze takes zir phone out, and sets a timer for 5 minutes. Ze closes the freezer, and leans against its door.]
+
Employee: I fucking hate this shake. Honestly.
+
[The chef grunts from the other room.]
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
Foreword: The following log was taken via CCTV footage from a ShowBiz Pizza Place entertainment center (now Chuck E. Cheese's) in Marionette, Wisconsin. No further anomalous activity has been detected in this location.
+
The context of the interaction is unknown.
+
<Begin Log>
+
[Pieces of animatronics are neatly tucked on shelves. Beside a shelf is a door with a sign on it, but the text is illegible. On a table in the middle of the room is the head of the animatronic "Billy Bob Brockali," a brown bear. There are footsteps.]
+
Voice: I'm coming in, Liam, you better not be messing 'bout with them—
+
[The doorknob jiggles. With some difficulty, the door opens. A janitor in grey overalls stands in the doorway.]
+
Janitor: Mm, good lad.
+
[In the janitor's hand is a plastic cup half full of pink liquid. It has a bendy straw, which has apparently been partially chewed through. The janitor steps into the room, and crosses towards the table. He bends down, and pulls a trash can out from underneath it, before realizing the animatronic head is there. He pauses.]
+
Janitor: You want a little drinky?
+
[The janitor holds out the cup towards the head, shaking it.]
+
Janitor: You want a little drinky, big bear?
+
[He smiles, and slides the straw between the head's jaw-plates. He moves the cup back and forth, making slurping noises with his mouth. He pulls the straw out of the head, giggling.]
+
Janitor:[Doing a stereotypical "hillbilly" accent.] Thank you mister janitor, you're always so nice to me. [Normal voice.] 'Course, Billy Bob. You're my favorite bear in the whole world.
+
[He chuckles again, before looking at the cup and falling silent.]
+
Janitor: What the hell am I doing?
+
[He attempts to toss the cup into the trash, but misses. It splatters on the floor, the lid coming off. Pink liquid spills in three different lines down the room's length.]
+
Janitor: God— I'm getting too old for this. I pulled a Liam. Damn it.
+
[He turns away from the head, bending over to pick up the cup. He holds it with both hands, frowning. He turns towards the table, and drops the cup into the trash can. He kicks it back under the table. He steps into the doorway, closing the door behind him. There are footsteps for some time.]
+
[The eyes of the "Billy Bob Brockali" head narrow. It stares down at the spilled drink on the floor. Its eyes then turn towards the camera. It looks towards the door, then back at the spillage. Its jaw-plates creak as it opens, then closes them.]
+
Billy Bob Brockali: A Super Strawberry Surprise Shake.
+
[It growls. Its eyes flick back towards the camera. It remains motionless for almost 40 seconds.]
+
Billy Bob Brockali: Things can’t keep going the way they are, kiddo. From here on out, there will be consequences.
+
[Its eyes return to their neutral position, and its jaw-plates go slack. There are footsteps. The door opens, revealing the janitor, holding stain-remover and a pink rag. He gets on the floor, then crawls along towards the three lines of pink liquid. He begins to scrub. The liquid is smeared across the floor. He sprays it with the stain-remover, then scrubs again. The liquid is absorbed by the towel. He continues to scrub, then spray, in a repeating motion, until the liquid is gone.]
+
[He twists his body, and throws the rag in the trash can. He places the stain-remover on the ground, then stands, facing the head. He puts his hands on his hips, and sighs loudly.]
+
Janitor: Well. Night, Bob.
+
[He turns and leaves, closing the door behind him. The stain-remover remains on the ground. The lights outside click off. There are footsteps, then silence.]
+
<End Log>
+
+
HISTORY: SCP-7324 has existed as a niche interest in public life for at least 2 decades, the first recorded order occurring at a Chick-fil-A in College Park, Georgia, in 2003. However, due to a lack of visibly anomalous phenomena surrounding the item, normalcy organizations paid little attention to its existence.
+
As of 2023, SCP-7324 has come under investigation due to the increasing amount of chemically-neutralized "demonarcotics" discovered within the drinks.
+
"Demonarcotics" are a form of performance-enhancing drug created from the entrails and/or body parts of deceased tartarean entities, commonly referred to as demons. Though these drugs have been discovered within SCP-7324, they appear to have been stripped of their performance-enhancing abilities — effectively, while tartarean (or demonic) energies still build up within the individual who drinks SCP-7324, they do not experience physical or mental alterations, nor the formation of anomalous capabilities.
+
The exact method to how "demonarcotics" are introduced to the SCP-7324 recipe depends on the region and establishment.
+
In the Midwest region, where restaurants more commonly use fresh strawberries instead of strawberry ice cream, the organic components of the drug were found grown into, or connected with, the inside of the strawberry. It is unknown how this is achieved, and investigation into the strawberry farms these restaurants source from has proven difficult due to the global nature of the strawberry industry.
+
Similarly, in the Southwest, PepsiCo has reported numerous contaminations of tartarean energy in its Starry shipments to restaurants. These occur sporadically, and Foundation-assisted investigations have similarly found little results.
+
Investigations into restaurants in the remaining regions of the United States are ongoing.
+
It is presently theorized that SCP-7324 was a preexisting anomaly which is being altered by an entity/group. The ultimate goal of these alterations is unknown.
+
+
ADDENDUM 7324.6 | INCIDENT 006 (VIDEO RECORD OF ON-SITE COUNSELING SESSION)
+
+
Therapist: Good to see you back here. I was getting a little worried. Apopache is a hard place to live, and Spicy Crust is a hard place to work.
+
[The therapist chuckles, leaning back in his chair. He clicks his pen absentmindedly.]
+
Therapist: So, what's on your mind? What brings you in today.
+
Employee:[Ze fidgets.] Well. It's complicated. I didn't know who else to report to. You're the closest thing I have to a regular Foundation contact.
+
Therapist: I see.
+
Employee: It's, uh, about SCP-7324.
+
[The therapist leans forward, pressing his hands together inquisitively.]
+
Therapist: I see. Are you giving me permission to pass this along to the containment team?
+
Employee: Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah.
+
Therapist: Excellent. Tell me, then.
+
Employee: The pizza place is kind of a hotspot for, uh, kids to come around— most of the time none of them stay for long. They kind of just, order their food and fuck off. But lately, kids have been pouring in by the fucking, hundreds, man. And they all want the same thing.
+
Therapist: SCP-7324.
+
Employee: Yeah. Apparently, it's like, a meme. A normal meme. They'll come by and they'll buy it, and they'll be giggling, kicking their feet, fucking, whatever, and they go outside and record a little dance with it. But, like, dude, I've been googling it. And literally nothing comes up about this. There's no hashtag Super Strawberry Surprise Shake. No, super strawberry dance. Nothing. The only stuff that comes up is still just that usual conspiracy weirdo shit. At first, I had no idea why these kids were doing this. It didn't, like, freak me out, but it definitely weirded me out, right?
+
Then— one, one time, I asked. Just straight up. "I can't find anything on TikTok about this," I said, "Why are you doing this?" And the girl who was ordering, she just rolled her eyes.
+
She said to me, something like, "It's not a TikTok thing, it's exclusive. It's different." Whatever. And when I asked her what she meant by that, she just, uh, said I was old.
+
But she took her shake, so did her friends, and they walked out of the joint, and they did their little dance out in front, the whole thing.
+
They piled on into their car together, and they started driving off. But, real, really slowly. I don't know.1
+
And just— I just got up and followed them. The chefs were mad, obviously, you probably saw that in my manager's report last week, but, I just walked out and followed the car. It was easier 'cause it was night. So I just walked along the trees and bushes on the side of the road while they drove downtown.
+
But they took this weird left, where there isn't any road. So I kind of had to jump out of the way— I'm sure they saw me, but they probably didn't recognize me. Not that it matters now, I guess.
+
Therapist: What do you mean by that?
+
Employee: I'm getting there, hold on.
+
So, I followed the car through the woods. It, was, uh, still moving really slowly. And as we went, uh, through the thicket, there was a, a big stone bridge. I've never seen it before, and I've lived in Apopache pretty much my whole life. The car, though, it just kept cruising along. It went under the bridge. It was a tight fit, though, I heard it get scraped on the way in.
+
I knew I couldn't follow them anymore, because they'd totally see me if I tried to go in, the whole thing was so narrow, but I just… Walked up to the entry-hole. Kept cover behind the bushes and everything, but as I came up to it, I touched it, and… there wasn't a hole at all.
+
It was like a fucking Looney Tunes. It was a fake bridge painted onto a fucking rock. It was a flaky kind of oil painting one, too.
+
[Ze looks down at the floor, before looking back at zir therapist.]
+
Employee: Like, the kind of, vintage, 1920s style paintings that they always hang up at restaurants. "Lovely day for a Guinness" toucan stuff.
+
[Both are silent for some time.]
+
Therapist: That's concerning. You should've come to us as soon as this happened.
+
Employee: I know. I'm sorry. [Ze puts zir hands between zir thighs.] I know. But, this, uh, this happened at midnight, so, only a couple hours ago. I just. I didn't know the protocol. I'm sorry.
+
Therapist: I see. I'll get this to the supervisor as soon as I can. Thank you for sharing with us. Do you think you could provide directions to that neck of the woods?
+
Employee: Oh, uh, definitely.
+
Therapist: Okay. The containment team will more than likely call for you then. Stay on the site until they do.
+
Employee: You, you got it.
+
<End Log>
+
+
After-Action Report: A group of field agents (including the employee) were deployed to investigate the painting in the forest the next day. As Spicy Crust Pizza was closed for the 4th of July weekend celebrations, no cover story was necessary — despite this, the employee failed to appear for briefing.
+
The group elected to split evenly in two, one to investigate the alleged area of anomalous activity, the other to investigate the home of the employee. Their efforts are summarized below.
Beginning at the Spicy Crust Pizza parlor, the agents followed the path described by the employee (with further aid from the building's security footage). This took them approximately three miles out of town, into a nearby forest.
+
A tow truck was seen in a nearby river, as was a pink Corvette. Both appeared to have been abandoned for years, as they had been almost entirely overgrown by plant matter. The objects are now in Foundation custody.
+
Initially, the described painting could not be found. The team, while investigating the automobiles, had accidentally walked in the opposite direction of the main anomaly — on their way back, one member spotted a large cube composed of cobblestone in the thicket, with the image of a bridge painted on its west side in oil pastel.
+
No further insight could be gained. The painting's base has been disassembled, and is now in Foundation custody with the other objects. At this point, the team returned to Spicy Crust Pizza to await the rest of the squad.
+
+
+
Beginning at Spicy Crust Pizza, the agents followed the employee's usual route back from work. This took them to downtown Apopache, then to an apartment building on the city limits. The building was empty at the time.
+
The agents immediately discovered the presence of SCP-7324 in the building: on the stairs leading up to the employee's unit, there was a continuous, dripping line of the liquid.
+
Upon finding the employee's unit, the team forced their way inside. It was reported the unit was in disarray, with signs of a struggle. SCP-7324 was found smeared on the floors and walls. The bedroom door was found with a hole through it; a "humanoid shape" was seen under the blankets on the bed. Upon entering the bedroom, the humanoid shape did not respond to commands — upon lifting the blankets, a 1.8 meter pepperoni and salami calzone in the shape of a human was discovered. The chest cavity had been carved out.
+
The team were beginning to leave the premises, when it was pointed out that the SCP-7324 smear marks were leading away from, not into, the unit. They followed the trail down to the basement, then towards the communal laundry area.
+
There, an instance of SCP-7324 with active tartarean energy was discovered — it had burnt a chasm of indeterminate depth through the floor of the laundry room, making further investigation impossible. Small samples of this instance were taken. The team intended to turn back at this point, but reported the sounds of human crying from the chasm.
+
Attempting to investigate further, an agent was partially lowered into the chasm. Though unable to ascertain the presence of humans or humanoids inside the chasm, the agent reported that a message was drawn in marinara sauce on the wall. It read:
+
+
RED RIGHT HAND OF GOD HEAR ME — SAVE ME FROM HER GAPEHOLE —
+
+
The agents then exited the basement, and returned to the first floor. While there, the back door was noted to be open when it possibly was not before — as a precaution, they vacated the premises immediately. The team reunited with the others back at Spicy Crust Pizza.
+
The apartment building has been condemned, and the SCP-7324 instance (now designated SCP-7324-Prime) has been brought into containment.
+
+
+
+
+
+
Item Description: A thick, pink, dairy-based liquid, primarily based around strawberry and strawberry-flavored ingredients. Includes an abundance of tartarean energy, allowing it to melt through most materials. Individual instance of the SCP-7324 phenomenon, given the designation SCP-7324-Prime.
+Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
+Location of Recovery: Apopache, Texas, US
+Current Status: Kept in cold storage at Reliquary Area-27, H Wing (High Value Storage).
+Notes: A former dealer for a Polish "demonarcotics" ring has been brought in for questioning. Financial records indicate several sales to unspecified parties throughout the Deep South region of the United States. He has been informed of the benefits of cooperating with the investigation.
+
+
<Begin Log (translated from Polish)>
+
Interrogator: Mr. Białecki, good to see you again.
+
Dealer: Pleasure.
+
[The dealer strains against his handcuffs, attempting to readjust his shoulders. The interrogator, standing across the table from him, crosses his arms in a disappointed manner.]
+
Interrogator: You've been up to some serious, no-good malfeasance— just no good at all. You understand that?
+
Dealer: Sure.
+
Interrogator: People are getting hurt real bad right now.
+
Dealer: I've heard.
+
Interrogator: You might be able to help us. If you can answer some questions for me, that'll offset a little of the hurt. A little of it. And what goes around, comes around— you'll get a little reward. But only if you're willing to help. Does that sound good?
+
Dealer: That's why I'm here.
+
Interrogator: You're very to the point. Well, let's start off, yeah.
+
[The interrogator pulls out the chair and sits down. He places a wad of paper, a pencil, and a black leather book to his left.]
+
Interrogator: I need you to tell me—
+
[He produces an instance of SCP-7324, placing it between himself and the dealer. The dealer's eyes widen, and he shifts, but he does not speak.]
+
Interrogator: —If you recognize this.
+
Dealer: Ah. It's an, American, drink. Of some kind. Yes?
+
Interrogator: Is that your guess?
+
Dealer: Sure. Yeah. Well, yes. Of course. I'm not familiar with American fast food.
+
Interrogator: Sure, but they have McDonald's where you're from, right?
+
[The interrogator picks up his pencil, and uses it to push the SCP-7324 item closer to the dealer. The dealer attempts to scoot farther away.]
+
Interrogator: Sobótka? Right? They have McDonald's in Sobótka?
+
Dealer: Yes, uh, yes. They do.
+
[The interrogator stops, putting his pencil down. SCP-7324 is now perched at the edge of the table, almost touching the dealer.]
+
Interrogator: Have you ever ordered this in Sobótka?
+
Dealer: Never.
+
Interrogator: I see. Whenever you're visiting America, do you ever order this?
+
Dealer: I've never been to America.
+
Interrogator: But, Mr. Białecki, you've sold demonarcotics in America?
+
Dealer: Yes. That's correct.
+
Interrogator: But you've never been to America.
+
Dealer: Yes. Yes.
+
Interrogator: I see. You have someone in America who sells for you.
+
Dealer: Uh, yes.
+
Interrogator: Well, that's all you had to say. We'll just need his name, then.
+
Dealer: His name?
+
Interrogator: Yes, his name. If you please.
+
[The interrogator smiles. The dealer looks at the ground. Both sit in silence.]
+
Interrogator: Is there something wrong? You know, uh, if he's younger, or a civilian, you know, if he doesn't know what he's doing. We won't rough him up. We're not like the UIU, I can promise you that. Seriously.
+
Dealer: No, of course. I understand.
+
[They resume sitting in silence.]
+
Interrogator: What's up?
+
Dealer: I lied.
+
Interrogator: That's okay, champ.
+
Dealer: I can't tell you anything about this.
+
Interrogator: This is what we need to know about, though.
+
Dealer: I can't help you. I'm sorry. I'd like to return to my cell.
+
Interrogator: Well, well, hold on a minute, before you go much further, uh, maybe you can work around the information. Leave out whatever makes you feel safer, but paint the silhouettes for us. How does that sound?
+
Dealer: That'd be getting too close to it.
+
Interrogator: What does that mean?
+
[The dealer suddenly begins thrashing around in his chair. He kicks the table, slams his feet on the ground, and begins to holler, pushing away as far as he can. The SCP-7324 spills on the floor beneath him.]
+
Dealer: It means you're getting too close to it! You're getting too close!
+
[The interrogator quickly stands from his seat, going around the table. He grabs the dealer's arm with one hand, using his free hand to push the dealer down. After some struggling, the interrogator is able to make the dealer stop moving. He stares at the dealer, frowning.]
+
Interrogator: Borys Niedźwiedź Białecki, I am incredibly disappointed in you.
+
Dealer: Shut up. No one will talk to you about this. We're too close already.
+
Interrogator: I need you to understand me. This is causing a lot of hurt. Demonic energy is building up everywhere, in everyone. Kids are ingesting this stuff by the dozens. Kids! Your craft, it's not just for who you're selling to anymore. People are putting this stuff wherever they can stash it. We need to figure out how, and why.
+
Dealer: I can't tell you anything. I swear to God.
+
Interrogator: I want to show you something. Not to alarm you, but we're going to shut off the lights for a moment. I just have to show you something, real quick.
+
[He waves to the door. The dealer turns his head to watch. The lights shut off, and he gasps, jolting. The interrogator walks to the door, and opens it. An agent outside hands him a canister full of SCP-7324-Prime. The interrogator closes the door, and then returns to the table.]
+
[He places the canister on the table, scooting it near the dealer. The dealer watches silently. The interrogator slowly unscrews the lid, a purple light emanates from the opening. Slowly, the light envelopes the entire room as the canister is fully opened.]
+
[The interrogator places the lid next to the book.]
+
Interrogator: My men found this in Apopache, a city in Texas. That's pure, active demonic energy. I want to know why it's being filtered this way, why it's being placed where it is, and what it's being used for.
+
Dealer: I swear to God, I can't help you.
+
Interrogator: Please. Please, just try.
+
[The purple light shimmers, a shadow flickering across the entire room. The dealer looks down into the liquid, then up at the ceiling. He appears to notice the camera in the corner of the room.]
+
[The dealer's breath hitches.]
+
Interrogator: Champ?
+
[The dealer's chair suddenly lurches. He screams. The chair's legs begin to disintegrate, purple smoke rising from the ground beneath each leg; the melting metal rapidly transforms into SCP-7324 liquid, spreading across the floor. It mixes with the spilled SCP-7324 liquid from earlier.]
+
Dealer: Help! Help, oh my God, please, help!
+
[The interrogator runs to the other side of the table, but a plume of smoke comes up into his face, causing him to slip on the liquid, hitting the back of his head on the ground. He groans, using the wall to get up, as the smoke grows larger and the puddle spreads farther.]
+
Dealer: Oh my fucking God! Oh my fucking god!
+
[The interrogator backs away from the plumes, bracing himself against the corner of the room. The lights flicker back on, but they are a deep purple. The dealer continues to scream.]
+
Interrogator: Someone— Someone— Someone get in here, please! Quickly!
+
[The door opens, and several guards filter in. The lights flicker again, but return to normal, the purple light receding. They form a protective perimeter between the interrogator and growing plumes, their firearms trained. The dealer stops screaming, now whimpering; wet slaps are audible.]
+
[The flow of liquid has outpaced the smoke. It pools past the feet of the guards and the interrogator, then stops. They all adjust their footing due to the new stickiness.]
+
[The whimpering ceases. The smoke begins to clear.]
+
Dealer: Straw… strawberry…
+
[The smoke is fully cleared. On the ground, where the chair used to be, is the head of the dealer. His eyes dart around several times, and he appears to attempt to take a breath. When he attempts exhaling, pink liquid shoots from his nostrils and mouth.]
+
[His eyes narrow. He stares down at the spilled drink on the floor. His eyes then turn towards the camera. He looks towards the door, then back at the spillage. His jaw creaks as he closes his mouth.]
+
[His face returns to a neutral expression. The interrogator pushes through the crowd, then sits on his haunches beside the head. He looks around the room wildly.]
+
Interrogator: Jesus Christ almighty.
+
[The guards begin to file out. Radio chatter is audible as an agent files a report on the situation. The interrogator raises his hand, and snaps his fingers.]
+
Interrogator: Wait, just one more thing—
+
[A guard returns, leaning in through the doorway. The interrogator gestures to the table.]
+
Interrogator: Prime is gone.
+
[SCP-7324-Prime is missing from its place on the table. The other objects are undisturbed.]
+
<End Log>
+
+
+
ADDENDUM 7324.10 | INCIDENT 008 (CCTV FOOTAGE OF UNCLEAR INCIDENT)
+
+
<Begin Log>
+
[Tables and booths are assembled beside a play area, featuring a tube-based playground structure and several arcade machines. Past the play area is a stage with velvet curtains. Between the curtains are the animatronics "Chuck E. Cheese," "Jasper J. Jowls," "Pasqually," and "Sally Sashay." They perform a waltz. A man stands near the edge of the stage, obscured by darkness.]
+
Chuck E. Cheese: …And sometimes, I whisper, what I'm thinking of…
+
[There are children in the booths and tables, and some are running around holding swaths of tickets. Adults sit about eating pizza or talking amongst themselves.]
+
[A girl stands in front of the stage, holding her hand in her mouth. She stares up at Chuck E. Cheese, apparently nervous.]
+
Chuck E. Cheese: …My cup runneth over, with love.2
+
[Her father, behind her, smiles and finishes chewing his pizza. He leans forward, and taps her on the back of the head. She turns around slowly, hand still in her mouth.]
+
Father: You like Chucky?
+
[She turns to face the animatronic, then back to him. She runs to the booth, crawling up beside him.]
+
Daughter: No.
+
Father: No?
+
Daughter: No.
+
Father: How come? Me and Chucky, we were best friends when I was a kid.
+
Daughter: He's scary.
+
Father: What's so scary about him?
+
[She points to Chuck E. Cheese's eyes. The animatronic continues singing, and the rest of the band joins in for a doo-wop bridge.]
+
Father: Well, I think if you gave him a fair chance, you'd think he's really, really nice.
+
[The daughter presses her head into his arm. He puts a hand on the back of her head, nodding. He continues watching the stage. Purple stage lights fade in, shimmering over the group as "Sally Sashay" takes over singing. Children continue running around, yelling, laughing, and playing. A man stands near the edge of the stage, obscured by darkness. He smiles, his teeth reflected in the purple light. As the band comes to another doo-wop bridge, he begins to walk to the center of the stage. The father nudges his daughter to look; she does so.]
+
[The man is now in clear view of the audience, a purple spotlight directly on him. He is Father Jonathan Barker, a Pentecostal elder working for the pan-denominational Christian Ministries of America. He is wearing a beige suit and red tie.]
+
[The adults quickly gather up and silence their children, though some of the children gather in front of the stage silently themselves. Mr. Barker clasps his hands together and steps forward.]
+
Barker: Hiya, boys and girls. I'd like to thank Mr. Cheese and his wonderful band back here for hosting us tonight, everyone, please, a round of applause!
+
[The sound of clapping is audible behind the audience.]
+
Barker: The Lord has gifted us an incredible year. [He gestures to the adults in the audience.] You all should be very proud. Kids, [He approaches the edge of the stage,] I can't say I've ever seen a team that works as hard as you. Part of my job as director of the CMA Youth League is making sure every kid has an equal opportunity to participate in sports and exercise, but, well, sometimes kids don't appreciate the opportunities presented to them. But all of you — all of you! — have gone above and beyond both my expectations, and the expectations set by the League.
+
[He puts his hand over his heart, smiling warmly.]
+
Barker: You've had an incredible season, and I'm so proud. Everybody, please, let's hear it for the Evangelical Little League of Gulfport! Put your hands together, give yourself a pat on the back, kids, you've earned it.
+
[The establishment erupts into applause. Adults carry their children, swinging them around, tossing them, cheering for them, smiling at them, holding them. The father turns to his daughter and ruffles her hair. The children cheer for themselves because they are proud. The children dance and applaud as well. They gather out on the floor, all of them running around in circles and cheering.]
+
Barker: Pardon me, kids, I've got one more announcement to make.
+
[Silence.]
+
Barker: Thanks to your generous donations, I was able to get everyone — everybody — a Super Strawberry Surprise Shake.
+
[The father gasps, and points to his daughter, who stands in front of the stage. She turns to look at him, smiling.]
+
Father: Your favorite!
+
Daughter: Yay, yay, yay!
+
[Cheering and applause erupts around the room again. Barker smiles proudly, and steps away from the spotlight. The band continues their song, the Chuck E. Cheese animatronic resuming his role as vocalist.]
+
[A group of men in beige suits emerge from the staff breakrooms, and align themselves around a table near the back of the establishment. Barker approaches them, and they begin to set up a tablecloth bearing the image of pink crosses. In time, they set up numerous SCP-7324 items, enough for each person in attendance. They emit a purple shimmer.]
+
[A line of children forms. One by one, Barker hands each boy and girl a shake, smiling. He tells each of them he's proud of them, and that God is proud of them too. The adults stay in their booths, unaware.]
+
[They suck on their straws, and a purple light shines in their mouths. All the kids are tuckered out, but no one wants to stop playing.]
+
[No one wants to be alone.]
+
[They gather in front of the stage, just sipping. They watch the fuzzy animals play in their big band. No one is afraid anymore. The daughter, she looks back at her father and smiles. He smiles back because he doesn't know.]
+
[The lights begin to dim, one by one. Click, click, click.]
+
[The children become translucent. Light bounces right through them. They become gray and hazy like ghosts. They smile and bob their heads. They are unaware. This happens to the adults, too. They don't know either. Then come the men in beige suits. Then comes Father Barker.]
+
[The establishment is dark now, except for the stage. The velvet curtains flutter as the wind picks right off the ground. Chuck sings.]
+
Chuck E. Cheese: …In only a moment, we both will be old… we won't even notice the world turning cold…
+
[The daughter turns to look at her father again. He smiles at her, then tilts his head. She smiles back. She disappears. He keeps smiling. He doesn't know. He still sees her. She's still there. The father disappears.]
+
[The crowd dissipates one by one. The children vanish into thin air, the glow-in-the-dark stars on the carpet shining up through them. The adults are all gone too. The men in beige suits are nowhere to be seen.]
+
[A woman's hand reaches out from behind the curtain. She curls her pretty red nails in a "come here" motion towards Jonathan Barker. He shakes his head.]
+
[He walks into the darkness and vanishes. The establishment is so dark, now, it's almost hard to tell it's there. The only thing left in the world is the stage. They keep swinging. The woman's hand hangs limply. They keep dancing.]
SCP-7333 in temporary containment following initial recovery in Billings, Montana.
+
+
+
Item #: SCP-7333
+
Object Class: Euclid
+
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7333 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell fitted with a large terrarium and multi-screen live feed of current stock market coverage. Typical amenities are to be provided, including cleaning services and provision of food per a designated dietary regimen. To aid with communication, SCP-7333 must at all times have access to a mobile device possessing a physical keyboard.1 Spare devices and chargers are to be stored in the room as necessary.
+
A team of dedicated Foundation stock traders is to be assigned to SCP-7333’s containment cell, and kept on rotation watch to observe when it enters periods of lucidity. The team is to be provided with a probationary budget, to be used for investments based on SCP-7333’s insights. All transactions are to be thoroughly documented, and reviewed on a weekly basis. The budget is subject to change based on monthly outcomes.
+
Access to SCP-7333 for interview purposes may be requested by any research personnel Level-2 or higher possessing requisite credentials in biological sciences. Any individuals seeking to submit such a request are to note that the stock trader team schedule is to be given priority for access to SCP-7333.
+
Description: SCP-7333 appears to be a male Western fence lizard (Sceloporus occidentalis), possessing sapience in limited and irregular periods of lucidity. SCP-7333 is capable of communication in written American English through the use of various typing devices, but will only respond to conversation when verbally addressed by name.2 While SCP-7333 does not appear to age, it sheds its skin more frequently than non-anomalous lizards typical of the same apparent species. Shed skin from SCP-7333 carries no immediately discernable anomalous properties.
+
Based on information gathered from interviews, SCP-7333 purportedly fashions itself as “a deity for a modern time” (see Partial Interview Logs). It is noted that despite its claims, SCP-7333 has yet to exhibit any indication of greater capabilities beyond its communicative and predictive anomalies.
+
When provided with appropriate resources, SCP-7333 has demonstrated the ability to provide profitable investments recommendations, particularly with regards to the trading of stocks. As of the SCP-7333 team’s most recent portfolio review, it is believed that the frequency of SCP-7333’s periods of lucidity inversely correlates with the total profit amassed by the beneficiary of SCP-7333’s advice. Due to this, discussion is underway to determine an altered containment schedule to allow SCP-7333 ample recovery time in between consultations.
+
SCP-7333 was initially discovered following investigation of animal control complaints from a series of houses within a suburban neighborhood. All such reports alleged that “lizards were breaking into houses to watch TV”, with a disproportionately large focus on households that frequently consumed news-related media. A team of Foundation containment specialists was dispatched to multiple houses under the guise of carrying out an electricians’ survey; the team first encountered SCP-7333 in a nursery bedroom typing “HELLO” repeatedly on a children’s “Speak & Spell” electronic hand-held toy, followed by “I AM BUSINESS LIZARD”. Following application of amnestics to the neighborhood occupants, the team secured SCP-7333 and transported it to the nearest Foundation facility.
+
Addendum-7333-1: Partial Interview Logs: over the course of SCP-7333’s containment history, it was observed that its lucid periods initially occurred for approximately four hours every four days. As of the most recent update to the SCP-7333 file, the entity averages four hours of lucidity every sixteen days. Interview logs of note corresponding to sessions purely for personal information gathering purposes are transcribed below. (Note, SCP-7333’s mobile device keyboard typing is displayed without corrections for grammar or mechanics. All questions were voiced aloud by interviewers situated in the containment cell.)
+
+
Excerpt from Interview-7333-3:
+Interviewer: Dr. R. Mercer
+Interviewee: SCP-7333
+
SCP-7333: are you sure you dont want a reading for the market
+
Dr. Mercer: Business Lizard, today I would like to learn a little more about you, if that’s alright.
+
SCP-7333: that is very agreeable
+
Dr. Mercer: Stocks Lizard, some time ago you told us you reimagined yourself to suit more modern times.
+
SCP-7333: yes there was much to change
+
Dr. Mercer: Business Lizard, please tell me more.
+
SCP-7333: in times long past i was a healer bringer of health as my siblings and elders before me but times shifted and commerce became what humans sought and sacrificed for it seemed fruitless to help humans regain their health when it would be thrown away for money at a moments notice i grew weary and lost and frail
+
Dr. Mercer: Commerce Lizard, I am sorry to hear that.
+
SCP-7333: money troubles and health troubles intertwine these days more than ever before to feel needed i renewed myself but as you see i am even less than i was before i had so much to learn but the world has changed the people are hostile there are places even i cannot go words even i do not know
+
Dr. Mercer: Stocks Lizard, I hope you know that you are always welcome here.
+
SCP-7333: thank you i have not felt so useful in generations please keep showing me your number reports i cannot always read them but i like seeing them thank you for always having someone sit with me
+
Dr. Mercer: Business Lizard, do you remember much of who you were before civilization sped out of control?
+
SCP-7333: taller bigger needed clothes
+
Dr. Mercer: Commerce Lizard, do you know of any other lizards like yourself, who may have retained their powers?
+
SCP-7333: there are none in my memory if there were any at all
+
Dr. Mercer: Stocks Lizard, does that bother you?
+
SCP-7333: no
+
Dr. Mercer: Commerce Lizard, would you like us to attempt seeking out any of your kin who may still be findable?
+
SCP-7333: no
+
+
+
Excerpt from Interview-7333-8: (most recent interview to date)
+Interviewer: Dr. R. Mercer
+Interviewee: SCP-7333
+
[extraneous discussion removed]
+
SCP-7333: ill tell you a secret
+
Dr. Mercer: Business Lizard, that is kind of you. Commerce Lizard, what is the secret?
+
SCP-7333: everytime i tell you to buy or sell something i am guessing
+
Dr. Mercer: Stocks Lizard, that is rather incredible to believe.
+
SCP-7333: i may have been stripped of my previous authority but i believe i still retain some good fortune inherent to my former station
+
Dr. Mercer: Business Lizard, you say this despite not sharing in the profit from the advice you give, and only maintaining your consciousness some of the time?
+
SCP-7333: well i met you all didnt i you will talk to me provide for me that sounds fortunate
+
Dr. Mercer: Commerce Lizard, do you not wish to return to what you once were at the height of your strength?
+
SCP-7333: my charge was to assist humans i am assisting this new job is much easier perhaps it was fate my path led here perhaps this was what i was hoping to be all my years of searching
+
Dr. Mercer: Business Lizard, what did you hope to be?
+
SCP-7333: happy
+
[brief pause]
+
Dr. Mercer: Business Lizard, I am glad to hear that. Is there anything else we can do for you?
+
[SCP-7333 does not respond.]
+
Dr. Mercer: Stocks Lizard, is there anything else we can do for you?
+
SCP-7333: more strawberry ple
+
[SCP-7333 is observed to turn several times in a quick circle on top of its typing device. It then jumps from the interview table and lands on Dr. Mercer’s leg. Dr. Mercer observed returning SCP-7333 to its terrarium.]
+
Endnote: Request for more fresh fruit, primarily strawberries, to be added to 7333's dietary regimen. – R. Mercer
+Note from Lab Director M.K.: Granted. He deserves a break.
SCP-7457, partially redacted to prevent its effects.
+
+
+
Special Containment Procedures:
+The cave system hosting SCP-7457 has been converted into Foundation Outpost 7457, with free cave chambers being used for storage and personnel habitat.
+
To prevent civilians from entering, a cover story has been spread, claiming that the cave system is home to fragile relics and that only select researchers are allowed to enter. Security personnel are allowed to use non-lethal force to repel potential trespassers.
+
Entry into the chamber hosting SCP-7457 is reserved only to members of the Anthropology and Memetics department. A CRV of 10 or above and proper innoculations or protective gear are required before viewing SCP-7457. Personel affected by the anomaly are to be sedated and administered with amnestics.
+
Description:
+SCP-7457 is a collection of wall paintings created by a tribe of Homo neanderthalensis in the department of Dordogne, France. Analysis reveals that SCP-7457 is around 30,000 years old and was added to over several generations, from the tribe's arrival to their eventual demise.
+
Every individual painting within SCP-7457 is imbued with an associated memetic effect, presumed to have had a postitive influence over the tribe.
+
However, due to its creators' brain structure being different from that of a modern human, and the damages inflicted to the paintings by time, SCP-7457 instead has various random and often harmful effects on those viewing it. Those effects include:
+
+
Sudden catatonia for any length of time.
+
Forgetting the identities of one's children.
+
Aversion to sunlight.
+
Aversion to moonlight.
+
Aversion to flashlights.
+
Visions of being pursued by spicy foodstuffs.
+
Gaining complete knowledge of how to orient oneself using the stars, consistent with their positions 30,000 years ago. This replaces a random amount of memories.
+
Immediate shattering of all bones.
+
Visceral hatred of human hands and feet.
+
Accelerated calories consumption. This can be reversed by not drinking water for a full 19 hours.
The irresistible urge to ritually sacrifice stand-up comedians.1
+
+
Each individual memetic effect has been theorised to be part of a larger meme complex that the tribe added to or expanded over time. While its existence remains theoritical, is has been tentatively designed SCP-7457-1.
Day One
+Today, Vamer showed me the draft for the general clearance version of the file. I told him it left a lot out, but he argued the only people who needed to know more would learn it all once I start adding my logs to the locked version.
+
So if you're from the Anthropology Department2 here's where I'll record everything we learn about SCP-7457.
+
Day Two
+The cave system we found SCP-7457 in is big. Very big. We've identified several chambers, all with a purpose. There's sleeping quarters (where we pitched our own tents), storage rooms, and even one that appears to have been dedicated to practicing medicine, judging by the tables and crude tools. It's where we're keeping the field agents who discovered SCP-7457 first. Those who survived, anyway.
+
Another one of the rooms serves as a mass grave, filled with bodies of both Homo neanderthalensis and Homo sapiens. Most of them died from blunt force trauma. Just another case of one tribe wiping another out.
+
It is weird that the Homo sapiens tribe took the time to bury the bodies, but didn't settle in the cave. Maybe SCP-7457 has something to do with that.
+
Moreau isn't letting anyone inside SCP-7457's chamber until his team comes up with a way to protect us from its effects. Since Vamer was brought in because of his specialisation in ancient arts, he's pretty much just twiddling his thumbs for now. Me though, I already have plenty to work on.
+
Day Four
+SCP-7457 wasn't the only anomaly we found in that cave. None are as noteworthy though: a stone rod that makes fire when you strike it against wood, a bone knife that can't cut through other bones, a wool pelt that doesn't seem to degrade over time or get dirty… They'll probably all go on the AO list.
+
Day Nine
+Moreau finally whipped up something that'll let us work on SCP-7457 itself. Those goggles he made filter out any and all memetic effects, and we'll be able to adjust those filters to allow individual ones to come through.
+
For now, when looking at the walls, all we see are black squares upon black squares. But the chamber itself already holds a lot of information. It's much, much bigger than all the other rooms. We think it served as a communal area and mess hall. Clearly, SCP-7457 held a great importance to these people.
+
Day Twelve
+Today we took a direct, unfiltered look at some of the paintings. I blacked out for 13 hours and when I woke up, one of the field agents had been reduced into a distorted broken mess, and one of Moreau's men smelled like fish. I'll have to ask regional command if they can spare us some Ds.
+
Day Seventeen
+Progress has been slow and steady. Moreau is cataloguing all the effects we come across, hoping to find some pattern while his team roll out innoculations for the ones that have been tested. Vamer is studying some of the "safe" paintings to find out what tools and materials were used to make them.
+
I found an altar near the middle of the room (we couldn't see it before we cleared out one of the paintings, it was obscured by the filter). No signs of Akiva radiations or their residues. If these people didn't worship SCP-7457, maybe it was just a place to gather?
+
Day Nineteen
+Vamer and his team sucessfully restored one of the paintings today. Before, it used to switch people's perception of what was edible and what wasn't for 63 hours. Now, it makes people smell through their mouth for 41 hours.
+
This proves that the damages done had an impact on the effects, but that due to SCP-7457's makers being Nehanderthals, the effects are still twisted for modern humans. Unless Nehanderthals actively wanted to smell through their mouths. Times were weird back then.
+
Day Twenty-Three
+With more paintings restored, Moreau insists that there's a pattern. According to him, all the individual paintings are components of a bigger whole, their memes weaving and merging into a unified core complex. We've designated this hypothetical core SCP-7457-1, but we won't be able to confirm that it actually exists until we've catalogued all its components.
+
While Moreau busies himself with his -1 theory, Vamer and I have been studying the paintings themselves, not their effects.
+They seem to mostly fall into three categories: warnings3, instructions4, and scenes of people enjoying life. There are a few stranger ones that Vamer thinks were made for comedy, references to in-jokes we'll never get.
+
Day Twenty-Eight
+Vamer… Vamer is getting transferred to that Site in Middle-Normandy. A low-activity assignment to let him recover from what happened.
+Moreau is going to increase the security checks for any personel leaving the Outpost. It stings, losing such a large part of our staff, but we must keep going.
+
Day Thirty-Six
+It cost us 5 more D-Class and one more researcher, but we have finally catalogued every painting and their effects.
+And yet, we are no closer to understanding SCP-7457-1. Moreau has shown me his research and I agree that it should exist, but it seems we need more time to figure out what it is.
+
I'll have to let Moreau's team work on it alone while I return to the main Site. I need to visit Medical about my newly-developed heterochromia and Mathematical to deliver those bear corpses.
+
Day Fourty-Four
+SCP-7457-1 has no relations to the colors or categories of the paintings. The most productive thing I have done all week was trimming down the Description's list of effect.
+
Day Fifty-Two
+Progess! I decided to look back over everything we've gathered so far and found something that we had missed. The corpses in the burial room did not actually all die at the same time.
+While the majority of them, including the ones bearing battle injuries died around the same time, some of the corpses died later, spread across a few decades. Those later corpses are all Homo sapiens, suggesting that their tribe did in fact settle in these caves, but left after some time. This is a lead!
+
Day Fifty-Five
+We followed the lead and found the Homo sapiens tribe. They had a pretty big settlement some kilometers away, where they thrived for a few generations before migrating further away. And in one of their ruins, we found several copies of the same painting. It got filtered by the goggles when I put them on so we know it's memetic too. We'll call the first ones SCP-7457-A and this one SCP-7457-B.
+
Day Fifty-Six
+-B sounded so promising. According to Moreau's analysis, it's a condensed form of -1, adapted by Homo sapiens without any individual effects on top. And from what I've gathered from the site, it was also very important to the people who lived there.
+
And yet it does nothing.
+
I've had a new D-Class brought in, one without prior exposure to -A. Had her sit and stare at those paintings for hours and she didn't feel anything. Even though -B has no visible damage and was made by the right species.
+Are we doing something wrong?
+
Day Sixty
+Moreau's gone paranoid. He believes -1 is a slow-acting and undetectable effect, like the one that got Vamer. He has taken his team back to the Site and shut himself off in one of the E-Class holding cells. Says he doesn't want to be a risk to anyone else.
+
I could study all the ruins and remains I can find, but without an expert in memetics, I'm no closer to understanding -1. Maybe it's time I called in some outside help.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+From: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+Subject: Need your help with memetic anomaly
+
+
+
Hello.
+
I'm working on an anomaly in France, and we know it's memetic but we don't know what it does. My colleague who knows how this stuff works locked himself in a cell and I've exhausted all other leads, so I could really use some help getting to the bottom of this. I hear you're kind of an expert, can you take a look?
+
I've attached a text copy of the full file, a picture (with filters) of the clearest vector we could find, as well as a Euler Model Memetic Contagion Scan of my brain after looking at it.
+
Desperately,
+Eva Laroche.
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+From: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+Subject: Re:Need your help with memetic anomaly
+
+
+
Greetings.
+
Your vector is a pretty mild one, intended to embed a certain concept or idea within the minds of people seeing it, with some indirect influence over their behaviour.
+
As for your Euler Scan, I can't tell anything from it alone. If you want me to tell you what was affected, you need to send me a scan from before you were exposed.
+
Sincerely,
+Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+From: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+Subject: Re:Re:Need your help with memetic anomaly
+
+
+
Oh of course, I'll send it right away.
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+From: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+Subject: Re:Re:Re:Need your help with memetic anomaly
+
+
+
This is the same file, I would appreciate if you did not waste my time with mistakes like this.
+
Sincerely,
+Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+From: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Need your help with memetic anomaly
+
+
+
No? The second one I sent was taken back at my Site, prior to my first interaction with the anomaly. It's procedure to take one at the beginning of an assignment with a memetic anomaly.
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+From: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Need your help with memetic anomaly
+
+
+
You do not need to explain the procedure to me. Something must be wrong then, because those two scans are identical, at least in the area that would be affected by the picture you sent me.
+
Sincerely,
+Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+From: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Need your help with memetic anomaly
+
+
+
So if I follow what you're saying, I had been affected by SCP-7457-1 before even seeing -A and -B?
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+From: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+Subject: Urgent
+
+
+
Following a bad hunch, I ran a test on one of my colleagues. It appears he too had already been affected by SCP-7457-1 despite never having been anywhere near France.
+This might be more serious than we thought.
+
Sincerely,
+Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+From: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+Subject: Re:Urgent
+
+
+
Do you think it's worldwide? We know that the tribe that made SCP-7457-B migrated after a while, perhaps they might have spread more vectors. After all, if they copied it from those Nehanderthals, others might have copied it from them.
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+From: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+Subject: Re:Re:Urgent
+
+
+
I will begin a search for more vectors of SCP-7457-1. I want you to summarise what you have learned so far about how it was conveyed in those tribes.
+
Sincerely,
+Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+From: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+Subject: Re:Re:Re:Urgent
+
+
+
Of course.
+From my research and Moreau's, we know that SCP-7457-1:
+
+
Was of great cultural significance to the people who made and spread it.
+
Was associated with guidance.
+
Had a positive impact on the tribes it affected, I noticed large demographic and cultural discrepancies between them and unaffected tribes in the same region.
+
Was encouraged to be copied and shared.
+
Was most often made of vectors with three parts.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+From: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+Subject: No longer urgent
+
+
+
It seems you will need to give the SCP-7457 file an extensive rework. SCP-7457-1's vectors are indeed spread worldwide and its effect are present in a vast number of people.
+
Luckily for us, they are both positive and barely noticeable.
+
After my search returned many positive results for SCP-7457-1 vectors, I was able to run a few more tests and figure out its effects. SCP-7457-1 conveys the idea of a positive lifestyle, and carries a slight compulsive effect that encourages people to survive, cultivate bonds with other people5, and enjoy their company/creations. As I said, these effects are very weak and are easily ignored.
+
It also appears that over time, vectors of SCP-7457-1 have evolved from visual representations to textual ones, which are more easily copied and shared. I believe that the lack of awareness of SCP-7457-1's existence while copying these vectors is what has lead to its effects weakening.
+
In any case, while SCP-7457-A itself remains dangerous, the version of SCP-7457-1 that was made by Homo sapiens and has now spread worldwide poses no threat to humanity or the Veil.
+Once you update the file with all the recent developments, you can consider this case closed. I no longer need to be involved.
+
Sincerely,
+Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+From: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+Subject: Re: No longer urgent
+
+
+
Thank you immensely for your help, Dr Lillihammer. Your theory about the evolution of the vectors is interesting, do you think you could send me an example of the modern ones so I can verify it, and perhaps include it in the revised file?
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Eva Laroche, Project head, Outpost 7457
+From: Lillian Lillihammer, PhD, Site-43
+Subject: Re: Re:No longer urgent
+
+
+
I thought this would be obvious from the description I gave you.
+
Dr Laroche, you just spent the last couple of months studying the world's oldest "Live, Laugh, Love" sign.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7500 is buried in the Caheragh Old Cemetery.
+
Description: SCP-7500 was Donovan Hanlan, an Australian male of Irish heritage with the ability to subconsciously manipulate probability. Whenever SCP-7500 was in a situation with multiple possible outcomes, the outcome that SCP-7500 would deem to be the best option occurred. Due to this effect, SCP-7500's health did not degrade during its time in Foundation custody.
+
The plaid vest SCP-7500 wore at all times had a four-leafed clover pinned to it. This is suspected to be the source of its powers, although it shows no anomalous properties when utilized by anyone other than SCP-7500. During its containment, SCP-7500 refused all requests to remove the jacket.
+
Addendum 7500.1 — Associated Phenomena:
+After records of the same individual dating back to 1754 were discovered, Foundation agents were dispatched to record SCP-7500's daily life to check for any abnormal incidents.
+
+
Date: 05/23/2002
+Location: Melbourne, Australia
+
+
[SCP-7500 is walking down the street when it encounters a young woman selecting bananas from a sidewalk corner store.]
+
SCP-7500: Try these ones, lass.
+
[It selects a bunch of ripe bananas without looking and hands them to the woman.]
+
Woman: Okay, thanks?
+
[SCP-7500 then smiles and continues walking.]
+
+
+
Date: 05/28/2002
+Location: The Crown Melbourne
+
+
[SCP-7500 plays a slot machine, winning 1.3 million dollars.]
Barista: Donovan! Nice to see you. It's been a while, hasn't it?
+
SCP-7500: That it has, Charlotte, that it has. I've just had… a lot on me mind. I'd like the usual.
+
Barista: Well, it must be your lucky day, because it's the first time since you were last here that the hot chocolate's on special.
+
[As the barista is preparing the drink, the whipped cream can gets stuck, causing her to add twice the normal amount of whipped cream.]
+
Barista: Oliver told me you're headed out to Ireland tomorrow. I'll miss chatting with you, mate.
+
SCP-7500: Thank ya Charlotte, I've appreciated er'y one of our talks.
+
+
+
Date: 02/28/2003
+Location: Tullamarine Airport
+
+
[SCP-7500 and its husband enter the airport.]
+
Oliver: I know you're confident in your… abilities, but I still think we should have booked our tickets.
+
SCP-7500: Don't ye worry Oliver, I'm sure it will all turn out alright.
+
[Both approach the desk.]
+
Receptionist: Hello, are you wanting to check in your baggage today?
+
Oliver: Actually, we're hoping to book our flight with you.
+
Receptionist: And where is it you'll be traveling?
+
Oliver: Cork International Airport.
+
Receptionist: You seem to be in luck! There are just two tickets left for a direct flight from MEL to ORK.
+
Oliver: We'll take them!
+
SCP-7500: Actually, looking outside, it seems a storm's rollin' in.
+
+
Due to the sudden emergence of a storm, Foundation agents confirmed SCP-7500's anomalous abilities and were able to apprehend it before it boarded its flight.
+
+
Addendum 7500.2 — Interview Logs:
+The following is an excerpt from SCP-7500's weekly therapy sessions.
+
+
Dr. Summers: Good evening, Donovan.4 How has your day been so far?
+
SCP-7500: I guess it's been okay. Same ol', same old.
+
Dr. Summers: Now, it's been a while since we talked about the day you were… the day you arrived here. I'm correct in thinking you were headed to Ireland to visit your descendants?
+
SCP-7500: Aye, that I was. It was gon'ta be my first time back there in what'as it been? A hundred years or so? I spose I wasn't too ready for the trip.
+
Dr. Summers: Don, did you cause that storm?
+
SCP-7500: Honestly, I can't tell ya. These powers, I'm not in control of 'em. Things just sort of… turn out well. It should've cleared up. We should've been able to make it to ol' Irelan.
+
Dr. Summers: Don, did you want to go to your homeland?
+
SCP-7500: That be a troublin' thought don't it? It's not that I don't want t' see them. It's just… it's been so long.
+
+
+
The following interview was conducted four years after initial containment, ten minutes before the cessation of SCP-7500's anomalous properties.
+
+
SCP-7500: Thanks for takin' the time to talk with me.
+
Dr. Kelp: Any time, Donovan.
+
SCP-7500: I've had a lot of time to think since ye lot locked me up in here. I think I've made my decision. Keppler, have you ever been in a moment of your life where you know you only had two options?
+
Dr. Kelp: I can't say that I have, no.
+
SCP-7500: Aye, a wee lad like yourself probably hasn't.
+
Dr. Kelp: I'm 56.
+
SCP-7500: That's beside the point. I've come to a decision about this place, doctor. I need to leave.
+
Dr. Kelp: I'm sorry Don, but you know we can't do that. You're an anomaly. Anomalies don't really… leave this place.
+
SCP-7500: I'm mighty aware of that. There don't be anything normal about me anymore. I've had my time. I know how old I should look, but… I miss my husband. You'd let me leave if I didn't have the powers, wouldn't you?
+
Dr. Kelp: In all likelihood, but I don't see why that's relevant.
+
SCP-7500: I won't be around much longer now. If I don't make it long enough, I beg ya, tell Ollie I love him.
+
[SCP-7500 stood up, leaving its jacket hanging on the chair. The interview concluded, and SCP-7500 returned to its chamber without incident; the jacket was placed in temporary storage until required again.]
+
+
+The following day, tests performed on SCP-7500 determined its anomalous properties to be neutralized. Due to its cooperative nature, and the rapid decay of its body due to the cessation of anomalous intervention, SCP-7500 was allowed to leave containment with Foundation escort.
+
SCP-7500 flew to Ireland and reunited with its 7th-great-grandchildren.5 Two days after this, it expired. Its husband Oliver buried it alongside all previous generations of the Hanlan family in the Caheragh Old Cemetery with the clover from its jacket planted over its grave.
Due to the ongoing ØK-class Artistic Singularity Event brought about by SCP-7933, this article has been screened for potential narrative qualities. The threat of SCP-7933 contamination for this document has been determined to be 23%. Proceed with caution.
+
+
+
+
+
Title card for a fully contaminated instance of SCP-7933 on VHS.
+
+
+No, you can still have stories. Like this one.
+Item: SCP-7933
+Once upon a time, there were a lot of monkeys.
+Object Class: Keter
+They had very important things to do in the East.
+Special Containment Procedures: Following the threshold contaminant ratio being met on 1/29/2025, SCP-7933 is no longer containable. It is currently believed that the resulting ØK-class Artistic Singularity Event will achieve planet-wide assimilation by 12/23/2030.
+So, they all headed Eastward.
+As such, containment efforts have been refocused into Contingencies 59-Deucalion and 59-Pyrrha.
+The journey was long and hard.
+Personnel assigned to Contingency 59-Deucalion will acquire as many vulnerable instances of human artistic culture as permitted by the maximum payload of the SCPS Deucalion1. The Deucalion will remain at Armed Containment Area-0005. Once the maximum payload is reached, the Deucalion will be sent unmanned to the nearest neighboring parallel universe.
+But that's when things got complicated.
+If the onboard sensors detect even minimal SCP-7933 contamination aboard the Deucalion, the onboard nuclear warhead will detonate. In this event, no further action will be taken toward preservation.
+Some hairless monkeys kept dropping their treasures in the hairy monkeys' path.
+Personnel assigned to Contingency 59-Pyrrha will focus on the inurement of humankind to the effects of SCP-7933. This will be primarily done through amnestics.
+The hairless monkeys had no way of knowing this was taking place.
+Description: SCP-7933 is a self-replicating narrative contagion of unknown origin. Upon initial discovery in 2023, it was believed that SCP-7933 only affected VHS tapes. Testing revealed that SCP-7933 affected any form of data storage that contains a story with a beginning, middle, and end — including books, audio files, and live performers.
+This meant, of course, that the hairy monkeys had to smash it.
+When an infected instance of SCP-7933 comes within 100 meters of an unaffected story, the content of the story changes significantly to involve the characters being slaughtered by hundreds of angry mandrills (Mandrillus sphinx).
+And that was awful.
+
+
+
Medium
+
Effect
+
+
+
VHS live-action film
+
At a random point during the story, mandrills suddenly charge into the scene and begin to eat and dismember the cast. None of the affected characters make any attempt to defend themselves and only minimally struggle. In rare instances, victimized characters will look at the camera and say "it was only a question of 'when'" or "this is what we deserve for not being monkeys."
+
+
+
VHS animated film
+
At a random point, the screen will suddenly freeze. The camera will pan away to reveal an animation studio that is currently under attack by vicious mandrills.
+
+
+
.mp3 recording of a song
+
(Note: the song has to include or imply a narrative to be affected.) The song will be randomly interrupted by the sound of a mandrill attack.
+
+
+
Book, fictional or nonfictional
+
The book will be divided into two chapters. The first chapter, "The Part Before the Monkeys Came," comprises 1/3rd of the original text. The second chapter, "The Part With All The Monkeys," briefly describes a mandrill attack in which the entire population of Earth is murdered and replaced by mandrills. The remainder of the pages will be blank.
+
+
+
Live news reports
+
5/7933 Clearance Required
+
+
+
SCP Documentation
+
5/7933 Clearance Required
+
+
+
Websites
+
5/7933 Clearance Required
+
+
+
Paintings, Visual Art, and Photographs
+
The image will transform into an identical image of several SCP-7933 instances walking across a desert from left to right.
+
+
+
Thoughts kept to oneself
+
RESEARCH ONGOING
+
+
+
But sadly, the hairy monkeys were warriors by nature.
+If any of the affected video instances are played from the beginning, a ten-minute film plays with the title card "munky x-ing". During the film, 4,9202 mandrills walk from the left side of the screen to the right. The backdrop varies, but will usually resemble either a desert or a scene from the film prior to SCP-7933 contamination. Revisited audio files will be silent, save for the sound of several hundred mandrills breathing.
+And besides, their monkeys' secret business in the East was just that important.
+It is believed that if SCP-7933 is allowed to propagate undisturbed, it would cause an ØK-class Artistic Singularity Event.
+The hairless monkeys grew angry, because the things that were being destroyed were of great value.
+
Addendum 1 - Incident-7933-859
+
But the hairy monkeys had no way to explain themselves.
+On 5/5/2024, during the initial waves of the SCP-7933 narrative pandemic, a performance of Rigoletto at the Lyric Opera of Chicago was suddenly interrupted during Act I by new material, sung without orchestral accompaniment. Although the libretto and sheet music used by the cast had also been affected, the cast had not rehearsed this number before.
+So the hairless monkeys could only assume that this was being done in cold blood.
+It should be noted that no real mandrills appeared during the performance. Every physical reaction to mandrill attacks was pantomimed.
+And I, the last sage of our tribe, made one final push for understanding…
+
+
Libretto excerpt of the anomalous section (Translated from Italian)
+
Marullo: Great news! Great news!
+
Chorus: What has happened? Tell us.
+
Marullo: This will amaze you!
+
Chorus, Borsa: Tell us, tell us.
+
Marullo: Ah! Ah! Rigoletto…
+
(Rigoletto suddenly inters in a state of dishevelment.)
+
Marullo: Soft! I must not tell while he is present.
+
Chorus: It's him! How frightened he looks…
+
Rigoletto: God help us all!
+
Marullo: And what would a jester know of God?
+
Rigoletto: They are upon us! The monkeys!
+
Duke: Have mercy on my poor jester, for he has gone mad. There are no monkeys in my court.
+
Marullo: Perhaps your jester looked in a mirror!
+
Chorus, Borsa: Ha, ha! That was a joke! Ha, ha!
+
Rigoletto: Behold!
+
(Everyone sees the monkeys.)
+
Chorus: What horror! Monkeys!
+
Duke: They leap upon my throat with rapid stride! See how the blood gushes from my neck like a fountain! Oh, I am dying. Dying feels worse than sleeping with my courtiers' wives. But alas, that is what I am doing. What cruelty! I am very dead.
+
Chorus: Monkeys, monkeys!
+
Rigoletto: They bite me once again! How I die!
+
Chorus: Monkeys, monkeys!
+
Marullo: I am also having my arms torn off by monkeys.
+
Chorus: Monkeys, monkeys! Everybody is now dead.
+
(All die. Curtain.)
+
+
But what can be done?
+Following the performance, the entire cast had fallen into comas. Only the actress who played the role of Gilda was responsive to rescue efforts, claiming in Italian that "I cannot move, for the monkeys have torn out my heart."
+Even if my words reach you, will you accept them?
+
Addendum 2 - Note from the Administrator regarding SCP-7933 (revised)
The drop in morale ever since the threshold-meeting event hasn't gone unnoticed. I doubt an extension of my sympathy is going to fix anything, but even those among us who've laughed off SCP-7933 as "that silly monkey thing" have begun to feel the misery of the contagion's impact.
+
We can survive without stories. We can survive without art. But there is a difference between surviving and living.
+
But make no mistake: the resilience of the human mind has taken us this far. That is why I am announcing the third contingency, to be drafted immediately: Contingency 59-Prometheus. Through 59-Prometheus, the brightest minds of the Foundation will work together to create a new and untouchable form of human expression that why do I hear broken glass? What's that ungodly howling noise?
+
Oh, no. It cannot be. The mandrills. They're climbing all over me. They're biting into my neck. God help me. Ow. Ow.
+
Stop it, monkeys. Go away. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
+
I am now dead. Monkeys win.
+
There are now a hundred times a hundred monkeys walking across my corpse in a big line to the East. They're going off to do their monkey jobs. It's a good thing they're so much better and stronger than me.
+
Good luck with your monkey jobs, monkeys. Not that you'll need it.
+
I love you, monkeys. Thank you for destroying me.
+
+
— The Administrator
+
+
+
+
+
+
+I know it's no fault of your own.
+
+
SCP-7933 is survivable. That, in itself, is hopeful.
+
(…and you'll understand, of course, if I'm not exactly in the mood to write out the whole damned thing all over again. Keeping it shorter seems to help — for now, at least.)
+
Good luck. You'll need it.
+
+
— The Administrator
+
+
+
But all the same, it's no fault of ours, either.
+
Perhaps our tribes are just that incompatible.
+
And so, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you
+
that this document, and everything within, has been eaten by monkeys.
Special Containment Procedures: POI-8057 is to be tracked down by MTF Lambda-11 ("Prying Eyes") and brought before the Overseer Council for treason. Should he attempt to utilize SCP-8057 in an attempt to defend himself, tranquilizer rounds are to be used to incapacitate him.
+
Once POI-8057 is successfully captured, all knowledge regarding SCP-8057 is to be extracted, and POI-8057 is to be terminated.
+
Description: SCP-8057 is a Class 3 retro-causal metaphysical1 cognito-hazard that, when activated, causes the complete metaphysical annihilation of the target. This is done through SCP-8057's primary effect: the generation of an "anti-concept" specific to the target, and the subsequent merging of the concept and anti-concept2. This merging will annihilate both the target concept and its anti-concept, thereby removing the target from the noosphere and subsequently removing it conceptually from baseline reality.
+
SCP-8057 is activated by inserting an accurate and exhaustive description of a target. The Foundation Department of Nomenclature has emphasized the necessity of specificity when activating SCP-8057 for testing (see Incident 8057-002.1).
+
Subjects affected by SCP-8057 are irretrievable and unidentifiable. The Foundation was only able to identify SCP-8057 through its secondary effect: the production of excess "thought energy" as waste in the noosphere. This thought energy is theorized to contribute to harmful stray thoughts, continuous or spontaneous deja vu, and a mundane phenomenon colloquially known as the "Mandela effect".
+
It is currently unknown if SCP-8057 is temporally self-normalizing.
+
+
Discovery
+
+
+SCP-8057 was officially designated on 17/07/01 after several concepts were discovered to be missing from reality, and the human noosphere. An excerpt log of these presumed ideas has been attached below.
+
+
Concept: The ninth planet in the solar system
+Description: Records collected by the Foundation indicate that as recently as 4 months prior to SCP-8057's discovery there existed a ninth planet in the local solar system. Despite this, no member currently on Foundation payroll can remember such a discovery, including members of the Astronomy Department. Important to note is that there is a ninth celestial object in the local solar system, that being Pluto.
+
+
+
Concept: Berenstein Bears
+Description: Humanity as a whole remembers this concept as the Berenstein Bears, despite no records of this spelling existing. Imaging of the human Noosphere3 has revealed no trace of the original concept.
+
+
+
Concept: Emotion
+Description: Imaging of the human Noosphere has revealed a drastically different structure in the section dedicated to emotion. This is presumed to have been due to the annihilation of prior emotional constructs, leading the Noosphere to adapt and create new ones.
+
+
Researcher Henderssohn was given charge of SCP-8057 shortly following these events.
+
+
+
+
Researcher Henderssohn's Logs
+
+
The following logs detail Researcher Henderssohn's discovery of SCP-8057, recovered by MTF Lambda-11
+
+
Date: 12/08/01
+
The Foundation has always kept tabs on public trends and mass beliefs. It's exceedingly rare, but there is always a chance something anomalous crops up in the chaotic realm of the human collective consciousness. Of course, this is not new news to anyone reading. We've been like this for a while. But recently, there's been a massive surge of cases of the Mandela Effect4. And I have to admit, this has piqued my curiosity. I plan on looking into this. I'll update you all.
+
+
+
Date: 14/08/01
+
I said I'd update you and here I am. I may or may not have taken a peek into the Noosphere last night, and I noticed some rather major differences in certain parts of it. It's almost like someone tore out parts of it and the Noosphere was forced to adapt by replacing it with something new. Could this be where the Mandela effect comes from?
+
+
+
Date: 17/08/01
+
I found it. I think I did, anyway. I found some sort of weird concept within the Noosphere that appears to be responsible for, as I put it last time, tearing parts out of the Noosphere. But perhaps this power can be controlled? I need to experiment with this.
+
+
+
+
+
+
Notes from E. Henderssohn's lecture: "On the Nature of Concepts"
+
+
+
"How do you look for something that doesn’t exist and is conceptually annihilated, gone, no longer something we can conceive of? When something gets annihilated in a standard sense, it doesn’t just vanish. It leaves behind residue, energy, particles, something. Likewise, if you want to look for something that doesn't exist, you just have to find what it left behind. It's fascinating, really, the ways in which the models we know can be modified and adapted."
+
+
+On the Forming of Ideas:
+We actually had the incredible privilege recently of watching an idea form in the noosphere. The team, we had detected a large concentration of thought energy around the nodes of mp3 players. After a few days, this energy condensed around a new node, something called an "iPod". About a month later, Steve Jobs unveiled a new product. It takes a large quantity of energy in the noosphere for something to form around a thought node, but if one can create an idea stable enough, a new concept is born.
+
+
+On the Noosphere and Human Consciousness:
+…[M]y team was able to get their hands on some of those new metaphysical sensing devices the gang over in the Tech wing have been working on. It's allowed us to do some deep imaging of concepts in the noosphere, furthering that theory from thirty-something years ago. Concepts in the noosphere actually have a shape, a pattern that allows us to identify them. See, they start out almost like nodes, the faintest basis for an idea one might have. Then, as this idea starts to formulate and become fully realized in the human consciousness, it pulls in thoughts almost like a form of energy until eventually, a new concept is born.
+
+
+
+
+
Experiment Log 8057.01.1
+
+
+Experiments involving SCP-8057 were performed by Site 121 Researcher Dr. Erik Henderssohn, approved by Site Director Ernest Sterling. Due to the metaphysical nature of SCP-8057, Dr. Henderssohn determined that it would be impossible to know if a subject had been successfully annihilated by SCP-8057. Therefore, he and his team devised a method to monitor the noosphere for excess "thought energy". They would analyze the noospheric shape of various concepts suspected of being affected by SCP-8057 and compare their general development to that of a control concept.
+
+
Experiment No. 8057.01.15.11.01
+Lead: E. Henderssohn
+Subject: Sycamore tree
+Result: Standard nootropic energy. No deviations from norm. Noospheric shape resembles a hollow tube.
+Notes:I chose a sycamore because there's one outside my house. Must have been on my mind. Good control. Perhaps some of the next tests will show something interesting.-E. H.
+
+
+
Experiment No. 8057.02.18.11.01
+Lead: E. Henderssohn
+Assistant: A. Lorr
+Subject: Saxophone
+Result: Very high excess energy. Stable thought state. Suggests this item could have been conceptually unstable until reaching equilibrium in its current form. Noospheric shape resembles a series of overlapping irregular polyhedrons.
+Notes:Man, someone really did not want the saxophone to happen-A. L.
+
+
+
Experiment No. 8057.03.23.11.01
+Lead: E. Henderssohn
+Assistant: A. Lorr
+Subject: Famous quote from Lucasfilms movie Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
+Result: Highly unstable equilibrium. Oscillates between two thought states. Suggest people believe one of two aspects of this quote to be true. Noospheric shape is two perpendicular, pulsating circles with a period of 4pi.
+Notes:Beginning to get a feel for things. Might be able to generate a theory with a few more experiments. Smaller scale ones I should do on my own- E.H.
+
Makes sense. Most people believe it’s either "Luke, I am your father" or "No, I am your father". Obviously only the first one is correct, but enough people believe in the second one that it appears in the noosphere- A.L.
+
This is all well and good, Erik, but we need to find something a bit more interesting if we want to continue research. I'm trying to get some more complex organisms to look into. Also, it’s "No, I am your father".- Sterling
+
+
+
+
+Site Director Sterling petitioned the Ethics Committee following several more of Henderssohn‘s experiments for a D-Class subject. As these experiments are non-invasive and purely observational, the request was approved.
+
+
Experiment No. 8057.53.05.03.02
+Lead: E. Henderssohn
+Assistant: E. Sterling
+Subject: D-52899
+Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]
+Notes:It’s just science, Erik. Stop being dramatic. Looking at concepts as complex as a human person is bound to have some deviations. -Sterling
+
I've been running these observations for months. That's not a deviation. -E.H.
+
+
+
+
Email Exchange
+
+
+The following details correspondence between Site Director Sterling and Dr. Henderssohn following the D-Class experiment.
+
+
To: Erik Henderssohn ten.arap-pics|redneh.e#ten.arap-pics|redneh.e
+From: Ernest Sterling ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse#ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse
+Subject: SCP-8057
+
+
+
Erik,
+
I understand your apprehension, but we need to escalate experimentation. If this anomaly is what we think it is, it could be one of the Foundation‘s greatest assets! Right now, you’re just showing some theories on what might happen if we use it. We need some more tangible results. We need to use it. Just once. Something innocuous. Something that won’t be missed. It’s secured, it’s contained. But every once in a blue moon, we use anomalies to help us protect. Just think of the bigger picture.
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Ernest Sterling ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse#ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse
+From: Erik Henderssohn ten.arap-pics|redneh.e#ten.arap-pics|redneh.e
+Subject: Re:SCP-8057
+
+
+
Ernest,
+
We can’t. It doesn’t work that way. Believe me, I know. We’re missing something about this thing. It’s not just about annihilation. There’s something else. The team has been picking up a lot of stray thought energy in the Noosphere. Let us look into it.
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Erik Henderssohn ten.arap-pics|redneh.e#ten.arap-pics|redneh.e
+From: Ernest Sterling ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse#ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse
+Subject: Re:Re:SCP-8057
+
+
+
Erik,
+
O5-8 has already expressed her support. We’d have the O5s, Ethics Committee, Metaphysics Safety Committee, most of the Metaphysics Department, and probably a million others all with eyes on this. I can guarantee this will be one of the safest, most secure experiments we could perform. Your team would be in total control of how testing is conducted.
+
Can you trust me with this, Erik, please? We’ve worked together for 10 years, and I’ve never let you down.
+
Ernest
+
+
+
+
+
+
To: Ernest Sterling ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse#ten.arap-pics|rid.gnilretse
+From: Erik Henderssohn ten.arap-pics|redneh.e#ten.arap-pics|redneh.e
+Subject: Re:Re:Re:SCP-8057
+
+
+
Ernest,
+
If it were just you, and no one else in the world, I would trust you in a heartbeat. But once the knowledge is out there, it becomes out of your control. Someone out there will see this anomaly not as a danger, but an opportunity, a statement.
+
I want you to walk into my lab, look me in the eyes, and swear to me that no one, ever, will misuse this anomaly or treat it as a weapon. I want you to promise me that even after we’re all long buried that this anomaly will be used only in the way that you’ve prescribed, that the next O5s or the ones after that won’t change their minds.
+
Only then will I say yes.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Site Director Sterling submitted a project proposal to the O5s for approval following his conversation with Dr. Henderssohn
+
+
VIDEO LOG
+
+
DATE: 07/03/2002
+
NOTE:Video transcript of meeting between Dir. Sterling, Dr. Henderssohn, and the O5 Council. Sterling is anxiously looking over his documents, occasionally flicking his gaze towards the large double doors on the other side of the room.
+
+
O5-5: You said he would be here, Director Sterling.
+
Sterling: So did he. There’s no reason he’d miss this.
+
O5-8: I should hope he is on board with your proposal? It will be difficult to continue a project without its lead researcher.
+
Sterling: Yeah, he will be. He’s just a little dramatic sometimes.
+
Several more minutes go by. Sterling shakes his head and mutters something to himself.
+
O5-11: Just because this project has piqued our interest, doesn’t mean we can afford to sit around waiting.
+
Sterling: I know, I know. Just… give him a couple more minutes. I’m sure he’s on his way.
+
O5-3: Then he can fill in the blanks when he gets here. Proceed, Director.
+
O5-8 nods to Sterling.
+
Sterling: Alright. Well, so far we’ve been able to determine several things about the nature of SCP-8057. Firstly, it is a Class 3 cognitohazard, so already fairly dangerous. However, it is mostly innocuous. We, uh, we’re able to monitor what we believe are some of the effects of this anomaly, and we have a few theories on how to apply it or utilize it-
+
O5-11: We know what it is and what it does, Director. Complete removal of concepts from human consciousness.
+
Sterling: Well, yes, but it’s not just a memetic effect. It’s actually altering the noosphere. Once it’s gone, there’s no way for anyone to get it back.
+
O5-2: And you’re proposing that we just point this thing at whatever we don’t like. I didn’t realize we had become the GOC during my time off.
+
O5-5: We’ve attempted worse.
+
O5-2:You’ve attempted worse.
+
Sterling: No, no- my plan, my proposal is really just two steps. The first is just a simple proof of concept. Use the anomaly on something very mundane, something no one will notice if it’s gone.
+
O5-11: Such as?
+
O5-8: ████?
+
Sterling: Sure, that works. But that’s the easy part. The second half is much more important, and the part that I think Henderssohn will most agree with. Once we can ascertain that this anomaly functions the way we’ve theorized, it gets put away. Everything you all can put in front of it, kill agents, cognitohazards, red tape that would make the UIU blush, everything. This is the thing we use when there’s nothing else left.
+
O5-2: A last resort, then? We have plenty of those.
+
Sterling: Not a last resort, per se. A contingency. Yellowstone‘s not gonna last forever. Neither is the eel. Wouldn’t it be better if we had something we knew would work for as long as we needed, so we didn’t have to rely on things we think might work when we need them most. Again, it’s only a button we push after everything’s gone to shit, and we need a way to restore normalcy again. The Foundation doesn’t need another Hail Mary. We need a certainty.
+
The room is silent for a few minutes
+
O5-11: You… do make a solid case, Director. But how do you expect a proof of concept for something that is somewhat antithetical to the whole idea of proof? Or concepts?
+
Sterling: We’ve got some AIs in nootropic isolation. I asked around. A few dozen lines of code should be all we need.
+
O5-2: You’ve certainly given this a lot of thought. But I would also like to hear from that second opinion you had promised would be here by now.
+
O5-8: I think we have all the information we need. Shall we put it to a vote?
+
The double doors slam open. Dr. Henderssohn pushes past a frustrated security officer.
+
O5-5: Good timing, Dr. Henderssohn. We are just about to put Director Sterling's proposal to vote. All in favor?
+
O5s-3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, and 12 raise their right hands.
+
Henderssohn: What? Now?
+
O5-5: All opposed?
+
O5s- 2, 7, 11, and 13 raise their hands
+
Henderssohn: Me, I, I oppose! I oppose all of this. I oppose your plan (He points at Sterling), I oppose your plan (He points at O5-8), too! I know you're working together on this.
+
O5-8: You’re a little out of line, Doctor.
+
Sterling nervously places a hand on Henderssohn‘s shoulder.
+
Sterling: Erik, it's not like that, please-
+
Henderssohn: No, you’re going to listen to me. Look at this.
+
He shoves a packet of papers at the O5s and a second, larger folder at Sterling.
+
Hendersohn: My team and I have reason to believe this anomaly has a much more pronounced effect on human thought than we initially theorized.
+
O5-11: And what does that have to do with Director Sterling‘s proposal?
+
Henderssohn: This is not an anomaly we can use. This isn’t anything remotely close to Thaumiel-class. This is the kind of thing that we lock away, drown it in antimemes, take a horse pill of amnestics, and pray to whatever the hell you all believe in that we never remember it again.
+
Silence for two minutes.
+
O5-5: That’s quite a take, Dr. Henderssohn. And you’ve come to this extreme conclusion based on… empirical data? You’ve tested the anomaly?
+
Henderssohn stutters.
+
Henderssohn: Uh, well, not.. not exactly. You can’t just "test" it. There'd be no way to know if it actually worked since whatever you test it on won't exist.
+
O5-8: Not even with the nootropic isolation AIs that Director Sterling mentioned?
+
Henderssohn: …I don’t know. But we’re not even close to that stage, and honestly I don’t think we should ever get there. This is not an anomaly to use or to test or to do anything with!
+
Sterling: Erik…
+
O5-8: It sounds to me like your project has stalled, and this proposal is the kick in the pants it needs to get going again.
+
Henderssohn: I don't need a kick in the pants! I-we- need to keep doing what we've been doing. Observing conceptual models in the noosphere, building simulations off of that, and making conclusions based off of simulated data and those observations alone. We absolutely, unequivocally, do not need to test this anomaly.
+
O5-11: Why not? What could happen?
+
Henderssohn: I…don't know. Genuinely. But our observations of the concepts we suspect may have been annihilated in the past demonstrate a dangerous correlation. Too much chaos for stable ideas. The human consciousness turns into a muddy soup. Infinitely repeating concepts. Any one of these is the worst K -class scenario you could imagine.
+
O5-5: That's a lot of hypotheticals. What happened to your scientific curiosity, Doctor? Don't you want to know more?
+
Henderssohn: No. You haven't seen firsthand the things in the noosphere.
+
Sterling: Erik, maybe you should take some time off to think about this.
+
Sterling puts his arm around Henderssohn‘s shoulders.
+
Sterling: You‘ve been pushing yourself too hard on this project. I think you need a break. We can talk about this later, it’s honestly not as bad as you think it is. Please, I’m a little worried about you.
+
Henderssohn glares at him.
+
Sterling: I’ve been your friend for a long time. I’m not trying to screw you over on this. Trust me.
+
Henderssohn: Look me in the eyes and say it, Ernest.
Henderssohn: I suppose you’re right. I do need some time away from here.
+
Sterling: Take as long as you need. We’ll be waiting for you when you get back.
+
O5-8: Look at it this way, Doctor. If something goes wrong, you won’t be held accountable. It won’t be your fault.
+
They leave the O5 Council meeting room.
+
+
[END LOG]
+
+
Director Sterling‘s proposal was approved by the O5 Council. Dr. Henderssohn was approved for an extended leave of absence following his outburst at the Council meeting. Director Sterling was appointed Interim Project Lead in Dr. Henderssohn‘s absence.
+
The following is a record of logs from Dir. Sterling‘s lab computer:
+
+
10/03/02-
+It‘s been a few days, might as well get started. Some of Henderssohn‘s team has expressed displeasure at my taking the reins. I’ve informed everyone on the team that they are absolutely allowed to leave if they do not agree with the decisions I make. I’m not keeping anyone captive here. That being said, I’ve also encouraged them to come at this project with an open, scientific mind. I wouldn’t do anything Erik wouldn’t approve of. We’ll wait until he’s back to start taking any major steps towards a proof of concept.
+
It’s not like we could either way. Erik‘s the one with the knowledge on how to get this anomaly working.
+
+
Experiment No. 8057.54.11.03.02
+Lead: E. Sterling
+Assistant: J. Zahne
+Subject: D-799320
+Result: Normal
+
+
+Lorr‘s already walked out. I think James is going to follow her after today. Honestly, I’m a little envious of Erik. He’s got a loyal team.
+
+
On [DATA EXPUNGED], a containment breach was detected at Site 121. Several staff were injured, and an MTF was deployed to re-contain several low level anomalies. Upon entering a storage room holding several of these anomalous devices, the MTF instead recovered a single note.
+
+
I’m extending my leave indefinitely. You won’t find what you’re looking for.
+
E. H.
+
+
Site 121 was put into lockdown immediately and MTF Lambda-11 was dispatched to apprehend former Researcher Erik Henderssohn.
+
+
+
+
Interview Log with Dr. Henderssohn‘s Staff
+
+
Two staff members who walked out of SCP-8057‘s testing were contacted and brought in for questioning regarding Dr. Henderssohn‘s actions.
+
+
+
Interviewer: Dir. Ernest Sterling
+Interviewees: Jr. Researchers Alexandra Lorr, James Zahne
+
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
Lorr and Zahne sit opposite Sterling in a standard office meeting room. Both junior researchers are fidgeting with their chairs. Neither meet the director‘s gaze, but Zahne occasionally stares at the camera in one corner of the room.
+
Sterling: I promise this will have no negative effects on your standing in the Foundation or your employment here. Honestly, we just want to get to the bottom of this. I’m just as worried about Erik as you are.
+
Lorr: I'm sure you are.
+
Sterling sighs.
+
Sterling: I don't know what Erik's told you about me, but it's probably all true. I suppose I'll be wasting my time asking if you knew about his plan to betray the Foundation or where he's headed now?
+
Lorr and Zahne look at each other, shrug, and look back at Sterling. He rolls back into his chair and turns to face one of the cameras
+
Sterling: He was one of my first friends here. Still consider him one, despite all he's done. I understand why. I just made different choices.
+
Sterling gestures to Lorr.
+
Sterling: You know he was the one to get me hired here? Pulled my resume out of the shredder pile and taped it to the department chair's desk.
+
He laughs to himself, rummaging around in his briefcase. He pulls out a small, silver pen and rolls it around his fingers.
+
Sterling: I met him while getting my Master's. He was TA'ing this dynamics class I needed. Held his office hours in this tiny little room with the weirdest windows. Felt like we were in space.
+
Sterling suddenly points the pen directly at one of the cameras. A bright red light burns through the lens before consuming the entire picture. The other three cameras follow soon after.
+
Sterling: Mics are still on. Not much I can do about that. But, if there's anything you wanted to show me, you've got about thirty seconds.
+
Papers are heard rustling before abruptly stopping.
+
Zahne: You're still on the O5s side.
+
Sterling: Yes. I still have my proposal. I'm still a site director, for now I imagine. But I swear on the Black Moon that I will not allow anyone to harm Erik. That might not mean anything to you guys, but trust me, it's a real promise. At least if I'm the one that finds him, I can make sure that we bring him back safe.
+
There is a long pause.
+
Lorr: Dr. Henderssohn said you never missed a lecture, even after all of your friends dropped the class. And you were the only one who came to his office.
+
Sterling: Well that's because I was failing.
+
A folder of papers and a small metal object are heard sliding across the desk.
+
<END LOG>
+
+
Notes: The flash drive acquired from Researchers Lorr and Zahne was confiscated by MTF Lambda-11. Agent "November" was tasked with decrypting the files stored on the drive. The sheets of paper remain in Dir. Sterling's possession, as he has refused to hand them over.
+
+
+
+
+
Decrypting file……………10%
+
[]
+
Ernest,
+
I imagine at this point you are pleading with the O5s about what to do when you finally contain me. Please, save yourself the extra stress. You won't need to worry about that. I’m not coming back. I've compiled my notes on SCP-8057 in such a way that you will be able to understand. I hope you can become the voice of reason in my stead. I trust you.
+
+
+
+
Per the orders of Dir. Sterling, MTF Labmda-11 agents November, Echo, and Sierra were deployed to Omaha, Nebraska to determine the location of Bertrand Woss, an Anderson Robotics employee close to Dr. Henderssohn.
+
+
MTF Lambda-11 Interview Logs
+
+
+
Interviewers: MTF Lambda-11-November, Echo, Sierra
+Interviewees: Bertrand Woss
+Notes: Interview takes place outside a coffee shop in Omaha. MTF Lambda-11 agents were outfitted with hidden microphones and cameras. Sierra and November sit opposite Woss. Echo waits at a nearby table by the entrance.
+
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
Woss: It must be nice talking with someone who knows who you lot are.
+
Sierra: I'm sorry, Mr. Woss, but we're just investigating Dr. Henderssohn's disappearance-
+
Woss: C'mon, this ain't my first rodeo. I'm a senior engineer for Anderson, I worked with some a' their weird anomalous shit.
+
Woss leans in.
+
Woss: For the record, your people gotta come up with better cover stories than "newspaper" or "FBI". It's getting old and obvious. 'Sides, the real FBI is way more conspicuous than you lot.
+
He laughs.
+
November: I suppose if we had known you were senior level, we might have been a bit more direct with our request. Regardless, our reason stays the same.
+
Woss nods.
+
Woss: Whaddaya wanna know?
+
Sierra: Anything you can give us. His history at Anderson, anything he might have shared with you about his future plans, stuff like that.
+
Woss: Whoo boy, there's a lot on the first part. That's not gonna come cheap, ya hear?
+
Sierra and November exchange glances.
+
November: Mr. Woss-
+
Woss: I'm just kidding. Though it doesn't matter what I tell you, you won't get him. He's way craftier than you'd expect. Hell, I didn't know he went to the Foundation after leaving Anderson for weeks.
+
Woss pauses, taking a drag of his cigar.
+
Woss: You two ever heard of that oricalcum scandal at Anderson?
+
November: We're…familiar. He and I were investigative journalists out of Portland before coming to the Foundation.
+
Woss: Oohh, "familiar", sure, sure. Terrible what happened to Ms. Butler. Turns out, Erik had been meeting with her weeks before the story broke. Well, that whole debacle wasn't our department, anyhow. We were more on the theoretical side of things. None of that magic nonsense. I told him it didn't affect us none, but he wouldn't have it. He stormed into our supervisor's office and was gone by lunch.
+
November: So, this isn't his first rodeo either.
+
Woss laughs again.
+
Woss: You could certainly say that.
+
Sierra: You wouldn't happen to have an idea of where he's gone this time?
+
Woss: Nope! 'spose I'll find out in a few weeks, just like last time. But I'll tell you this, he's been planning for something like this for a long time. Just in case the Foundation pushed him in the same way Anderson did. I wish you lot the best of luck.
+
November: Thank you, Mr. Woss.
+
<END LOG>
+
+
+
+
+
Decrypting file……………25%….35%
+
[]
+
SCP-8057 is a metaphysical anomaly. I can't describe what it looks like or what it is exactly, as that would defeat the whole purpose of my actions, but I can tell you how it works. When you feed a proper description of a subject into it, SCP-8057 will go into the human noosphere and pull out what I've started calling an anti-concept of the subject. It's not quite the opposite of something, more like its inverse. When a concept and anti-concept meet, they annihilate, just like standard particles on the quantum level. With this idea as a baseline, we were able to run several simulations of this metaphysical annihilation process. These simulated subjects didn't simply vanish upon annihilation, however. They left something behind. Mass false memories, deja vu, or any number of mild memetic or antimemetic effects. That's not to say every time you experience deja vu, something has been annihilated, but if enough people experience a similar phenomenon, I would bet that it's because of this leftover thought energy. And there's something else…
+
+
+
+
████████ ███████, an agent working for the GOC, was identified by MTF Lambda-11 as a former classmate and partner of Dr. Henderssohn. The GOC approved an interview with said agent, whose name has been redacted as per Foundation-GOC Treaty of Versailles of 1946 Article 5 Section II5. Footage and transcript of interview was obtained through Foundation-GOC Treaty of London 1979 Article 3 Section I.
+
+
Interviewers: MTF Lambda-11-Bravo, Oscar, November
+Interviewee: ████████ ██████
+Notes: Interview takes place in standard GOC planning room. Two armed GOC agents stand guard at the door.
+
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
Oscar: Thank you for meeting with us, Ms. ██████.
+
██████: Censors will catch that, agent.
+
November: We're well aware.
+
██████: This is about Erik, isn't it? Surprised it's taken this long. Look, I know he's gone AWOL, but I don't know where. Is that all you need?
+
Oscar: Not quite. Our records indicate that you two studied together.
+
██████: That's correct.
+
Oscar: And you both started taking interest in the anomalous at around the same time. You had taken a trip to Sloth's Pit together.
+
██████: …yeah.
+
Bravo: So, what sparked your interest?
+
██████ looks at them, deadpan.
+
██████: Personal matters.
+
Oscar: Ms. ██████, we're just trying to gather as much information as we can to try and figure out where Dr. Henderssohn might have gone.
+
██████: I‘m sure you can look up the answers to all your questions with your fancy database. Now, is there anything else or am I free to go?
+
November sits next to Oscar.
+
November: I knew some of my team before working at the Foundation. We went to school together, too.
+
██████: Yeah? What'd you study, good cop?
+
November: Journalism. One of the professors we really admired. She took us under her wing. She had a knack for piecing things together, but one day, she just up and vanishes. No notes, no record, just gone. Some people are just too good at their jobs.
+
██████ nods slowly.
+
November: Course, we get a little too curious as to what happened, and we get scooped up by the Foundation. I guess they value reckless abandon in their field agents. We walked out of there with a job offer.
+
She looks ██████ in the eyes.
+
November: Do you ever remember meeting someone named Ernest Sterling while you and Dr. Henderssohn were working at that university?
+
██████: Huh?
+
November: He was a student of Dr. Henderssohn‘s, I believe.
+
██████: Maybe? Why?
+
November: Mr. Sterling has lost his friend, and he’s tasked us with trying to find him before he gets hurt. We don’t really know much about him, But I agree with Mr. Sterling. So, we’ve been asking around with people who were close to him, hoping we can find anything to get us closer to finding him and bringing him home.
+
██████ sighs.
+
██████: He’s passionate at what he does, and he’s good at it too. Stubborn as all hell, though. Sticks to his principles.
+
November: That’s how we got here.
+
██████: He can be a real pain in the ass. When I got an offer to work here, I expected him to be excited for me, you know? But you know what he said instead? "I guess you’ll find out why they call them Book Burners." He looked so disappointed.
+
Oscar: You belonged to the Hand?
+
██████ clicks her tongue and grimaces.
+
██████: Well… not exactly. I guess to answer your earlier question, we found a Way when we were younger, kinda by accident. It was amazing, honestly. I have no idea how long we got stuck in there, but eventually Librarians kicked us out.
+
November: How old were you at the time?
+
██████: I dunno, nineteen? Twenty, maybe? I don’t really remember what we found there, but I remember Erik and I were fascinated by it.
+
November: Have you ever been back?
+
██████ shakes her head. The room is silent for several minutes.
+
██████: I used to have dreams about the Library, but they stopped years ago. Last I talked to Erik, he still dreams.
+
November: Do you miss it?
+
██████ stares at her hands.
+
November: What made you start working for the GOC?
+
██████: Stability. Erik was barely able to make rent with his teaching jobs, but he never applied for anything else. He always felt personally invested in whatever he was doing. It stopped him from going outside of his comfort zone, I think. Eventually he had to realize that sometimes, a job is just a job. Pays the bills. Can’t really reinvent quantum theory from a shitty studio in a dying city.
+
██████ is quiet again for several minutes. When she speaks again, her voice is distant.
+
██████: I should, uh, get back…probably. Still have my job and all.
+
November: Thank you for your time.
+
██████: …yeah.
+
██████ exits quickly. November and Bravo are heard conversing after she leaves, but audio is quieter.
+
November: — can just leave him be? It doesn’t sound like he's the world ending reality bender Command made him out to be.
+
Bravo: He‘s harboring dangerous knowledge. World ending stuff, according to the O5s. That's all the info we need.
+
November: Did Command elaborate on that?
+
Bravo: Nope.
+
November: And that doesn't bother you at all?
+
Bravo: Nope.
+
He faces away from her.
+
November: Ok, so we catch him and bring him back. Then what?
+
Bravo shrugs.
+
Bravo: Not our problem. Our job is to find him and contain him.
+
Bravo and Oscar exit. November lingers in silence briefly before exiting.
+
<END LOG>
+
+
+
+
+Note: Had to get Sierra to help with this next section. Henderssohn had it locked up good. -November
+
+
+
+
+
Decrypting file……………50%….70%
+
[]
+
I‘ve always felt that I keep retreading the same paths my entire life. No matter how far I go, how much I try to never deviate, somehow, I end up back where I started, and I can see the path I’ve just walked laid out in front of me. And still I carry on.
+
Excess thought energy is a strong foundation for forming conceptual nodes. Given time, enough energy will coalesce to form a new concept. Yes, metaphysical annihilation completely removes the concept from our collective consciousness, but something new, so slightly different takes it’s place. Holes in the noosphere are incredibly unstable and seek to reestablish equilibrium as fast as possible. But they knew that. They just want to keep rolling the dice until they can get something more manageable.
S: The DIRECTORS SUITE? Man we are getting mega amnestitized
+
N: Shut up and watch
+
+
+
Video Log sec_feed23438
+
Director Sterling is seated at his desk, placing some documents back into a folder. O5-8 is seated across from him
+
+
BEGIN LOG
+
Sterling: These are your new procedures?
+
O5-8: I’m sure you have some questions-
+
Sterling: Go fuck yourself, Matilda.
+
O5-8: Ernest.
+
Sterling: I promised his team, MY team, that I wouldn’t let anything hurt Erik. That’s why I took this assignment.
+
O5-8: And you can uphold that. These aren’t your procedures. You’re not the one pulling the trigger.
+
Sterling: I might as well be!
+
O5-8: You may not believe me, but the O5s and Dr. Henderssohn do agree on a few things regarding SCP-8057.
+
Sterling: And what would that be?
+
O5-8: Namely, that this anomaly is too dangerous to leave in anyone else‘s hands. It needs to be kept at the Foundation, under strict lock and key. But your friend‘s decision to run away has made him a liability to his own research. We simply can’t trust him to keep it contained.
+
Sterling: Is that not what amnestics are for? Death seems a bit too cruel, even for you.
+
O5-8: If we could reliably manufacture the kind of drug to wipe everything that may pose a threat to the Foundation, he would be functionally brain-dead. Death is a mercy.
+
Sterling: Strange way to say that you just don't want him around to roadblock your authority.
+
O5-8: It's not just about 8057 anymore. Erik knew he was digging too deep. It's what he's good at. He did it at his university. He did it at Anderson's. It's almost like he enjoys finding this kind of trouble, and then he runs away with it.
+
Sterling visibly stiffens.
+
Sterling: You can't stand being wrong.
+
O5-8: Director, I am more than willing to be the villain in your story, since you need someone to blame other than yourself. But the O5s serve a very important function. We make the decisions no one else wants to live with.
+
Sterling: How noble of you.
+
O5-8: Would you like to be the one to consign Dr. Henderssohn to his fate? Or would you like to make a different decision? What would you do if you were wrong, no matter what you chose?
+
O5-8 stands and grabs the folder from Sterling.
+
O5-8: Fortunately for you, these are questions you will never have to answer. We certainly are cold, we may be cruel, some will say we are evil. But we are necessary, Ernest.
+
She walks to the door.
+
O5-8: If you are not capable of completing your assignment, I will have you pulled off it. And then you can wash your hands of guilt completely. But it will be done, regardless of your decision.
+
O5-8 leaves Director Sterling‘s office. He slumps into his chair, head between his hands.
+
END LOG
+
+
+
S: oh
+
N: Im not letting what happened to Harriet happen again.
+
S: what do we do?
+
N: We get to him first.
+
N: …
+
N: …
+
N: you there?
+
S: hey november
+
N: yeah?
+
S: Echo wants to help
+
N: what
+
S: I showed him the video. He thinks its fucked too
+
N: Why did you do that? We dont need anyone else doing something stupid
+
E: I asked.
+
N: Does he understand what were planning to do?
+
E: Yes.
+
N: Are you sure? I wont blame you if you dont
+
E: I am. I didnt really know Dr. Henderssohn or Harriet Butler, but I dont think I could face Alex or James if I do nothing.
+
N: alrighty then welcome aboard, rookie.
+
E: Bravo said they found a Way. Were shipping out soon.
After several months of Foundation surveillance, Bertrand Woss and ████████ ██████ were reported missing from their respective offices. Foundation agents were able to track Woss‘s cell phone to Kanorado, Kansas. MTF Lambda-11 was dispatched to intercept. The following is a video log of their encounter.
+
+
VIDEO LOG: KANORADO, KS
+
+
DATE: █ █/ █ █/2004
+
NOTE: Site Command consists of O5-8, two senior researchers from Site 121, and a psychologist from the Memetics Division. The log is transcribed from MTF Lambda-11's various body cams.
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
00:00:6:23:00:MTF Lambda-11 steps out of Foundation vehicles next to a small rock, fenced off and labelled "Mt. Sunflower". A second sign reads "Highest Point in Kansas". Lambda-11-Bravo assembles the team in front of the fence.
+
+
Bravo: We keep walking until the sun meets the mountain. Then we should be in the Library. Remember, time moves differently in there, so move quickly. We don't wanna find out our only escape route is suddenly ten thousand feet in the air.
+Sierra: It moves with the Sun? Pretty clever.
+Oscar: How the hell does anyone find this all the way out here?
+Echo: You could probably fall in if you're lucky enough.
+Bravo: Quit yapping and start moving!
+
+
00:00:6:41:00:The team reaches a stretch of field where the air begins to shimmer like a bubble of soapy water. Bravo gives the signal and the team enters. They find themselves in a small corner section with a row of intricate wooden tables and chairs. Bravo and Oscar draw their weapons and take point. Bravo takes out a can and sprays the team with it.
+
+
Bravo: We got about 30 minutes with each spray of this stuff. I'll reapply when the time runs out. Still can't let the Librarians get too close, but hopefully this will throw off our scent just enough so they don't make a beeline for us.
+
+
The team carefully maneuvers through several sections of the Library. They pass a large atrium full of autonomous rotating gears. Further along, they see a Librarian tending to a large, coiled plant that resembles a Venus flytrap, before entering into a room that appears to be an indoor botanical garden. Bravo reaches into his back and puts on a facemask, motioning for the team to do the same. He then pulls out a small robot on wheels and presses a button on its back. It rolls out slowly, just out of reach of the plant. The head follows it as it rolls back and forth through the corridor. Bravo whispers to the team.
+
+
Bravo: Take slow breaths. Calmly. Move slower than the robot, and only when it's going in the same direction as you. Don't trip.
+
+
The team follows Bravo's instructions. This process takes approximately 25 minutes.
+
-EXTRANEOUS FOOTAGE DELETED-
+
00:00:7:42:00:The team enters an atrium with the skeletons of several large anomalous creatures displayed on stands and plaques next to them. Echo and Oscar approach one skeleton.
+
+
Echo: I can't make out any of this. Oscar, do you have your translator?
+Oscar: No, but we can send a photo back to base.
+O5-8: Do not. Touch. Anything. No pictures, nothing. You are unwelcome guests here, and you still have an objective. Take the left at the next fork.
+
+
-EXTRANEOUS FOOTAGE DELETED-
+
00:00:9:18:00:The team makes it to a section with several wall-to-ceiling chalkboards. Sierra and Echo move closer to examine.
+
+
O5-8: Some of these look familiar, Echo. Similar to some of Henderssohn's notes. Keep moving. You must be getting closer.
+????:YOU WILL GO NO FURTHER, JAILERS.
+Bravo: Shit.
+????:DO NOT TURN AROUND. EXIT THE LIBRARY VOLUNTARILY OR YOU WILL BE REMOVED.
+Oscar: Whatever happened to looking with our eyes, just not with our hands?
+Librarian:YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO BE HERE.
+
+
November turns to look at the Librarian. It is a tall, faceless figure draped in various robes that wrap around its unnaturally long torso and limbs.
+
+
November: We mean no harm and no ill intent. We're simply looking for a friend. We won't touch or look at anything else, we just want to find him before he gets hurt.
+
+
The Librarian lowers its head to meet hers.
+
+
Librarian:WAIT HERE. TOUCH NOTHING.
+
+
00:00:9:32:00:The Librarian returns with another. The two of them scan the team for several minutes before the larger one speaks.
+
+
Librarian:IT HAS BEEN DECIDED. THREE OF YOU MAY CONINUE YOUR SEARCH UNDER THE CONDITION THAT YOU TOUCH NOTHING ELSE. THE OTHERS MUST LEAVE.
+
+
The Librarian taps November, Sierra, and Echo.
+
+
Librarian:YOU HAVE BEEN JUDGED. GO NOW.
+Bravo: Why the hell are you three chosen?
+Sierra: I guess he likes us.
+
+
Bravo eyes the three suspiciously.
+
+
November: Hey, we're gonna find him and get him out. Simple. Might be easier now that we don't have to skulk around.
+Bravo: Sure.
+Command: Best to move quickly, now. We don't know how long these good graces will last.
+
+
Bravo and Oscar follow the Librarian back the way they came. November, Sierra, and Echo proceed further into the Library. The Librarian returns after a while.
+
+
Librarian:YOU SEEK TO FREE THE SCIENTIST.
+November: As best we can.
+
+
She taps her mic and body cam. The Librarian appears to say something else, but its vocalizations are not picked up. November nods again. The Librarian gestures to three wooden chairs. The team sits.
+
+
November: It's going to bring Dr. Henderssohn to us.
+Command: How convenient.
+Sierra: I think they'd just prefer to shorten our time here.
+
+
00:00:9:51:00:The Librarian returns with Dr. Henderssohn. The camera struggles to focus on him, and his face is obscured by static.
+
+
Henderssohn: Hello, Eight. I know you're listening.
+O5-8: We both know how this ends, Erik. Don't fight it. You'll only make things harder for yourself and Ernest.
+Henderssohn: Oh, I know. I've surrendered myself to it long ago.
+O5-8: You're a good man, Erik. I wish things could have ended differently, but you’re alone in this. The Foundation needs more researchers as passionate as you.
+Henderssohn: Too bad they won't come. I believe this story does not end today, Matilda. And I'd wager I'm not alone.
+
+
Sounds a door being slammed open, followed by sounds of a struggle are overheard from Command. The microphone reverberates as it is yanked from its holder.
+
+
Sterling: ERIK!
+Henderssohn: Ernest…
+Sterling: Enough already! This is beyond insanity, even for you.
+Henderssohn: I'm sorry you still feel that way.
+Sterling: I stuck my neck out for your sorry ass and this is the thanks I get? You really think you and you-your gaggle of nerds can take on the Foundation?
+O5-8: You shouldn't be here, Director.
+Sterling: Don't touch me, Matilda!
+Henderssohn: I'm not looking to take anyone on. I want to mitigate the danger, not create more.
+Sterling sighs.
+Sterling: We're on the same side, goddammit. We need to know exactly how the anomaly works, if it works, so that we can protect people from it, or anything like it. You're putting more lives at risk by running away. The Foundation needs you.
+Henderssohn: The Foundation I want to work for doesn't exist. It never will. I've realized that rather than working for others and hoping that our motives align, I need to start making decisions on my own. The hard decisions. The ones nobody else wants to make. And I have made my choice. The Foundation that exists, in its righteous pursuit of securing, containing, and protecting, will take whatever steps necessary to achieve that goal, even if it means creating weapons to do so. I want no part of that Foundation.
+Sterling: We don't make weapons. We don't use anomalies like that. We're not the GOC, we're not the Insurgency.
+Henderssohn: I've given you almost everything you need to understand. Soon you will have the last piece of the puzzle. I trust you, Ernest. I know you'll do the right thing.
+
+
Sterling swears as the door is slammed a second time. Henderssohn turns to November.
+
+
Henderssohn: Harriet would be proud of you two. And you, as well, Echo. She was one of the best people I've met.
+
+
Henderssohn hands them a slip of paper. November, Echo, and Sierra turn to each other, nod, and tear off their body cams and mics. O5-8 can be heard screaming.
+
+
O5-8: You bastards! Goddamit Erik! Bravo, Oscar! The others have turned hostile! Prepare to engage, lethal force authorized!
+
+
Cam footage switches to Bravo's POV. They are sitting on the tables near the entrance Way.
+
+
Bravo: Fuckin' knew it.
+
+
Before they can pull out their sidearms, the Librarian picks them up and flings them through the Way. They crash into the dirt outside the Library.
+
+
O5-8: Forget it. Just wait, they have to leave eventually.
+
+
00:00:11:39:00:November's voice is picked up on Bravo's mic as three gun barrels point out from the shimmering air.
+
+
November: Drop your weapons!
+
+
Bravo and Oscar aim into the air and hold for several seconds. Bravo grimaces
+
+
November: Drop your weapons! Now!
+O5-8: Just… do it, Bravo. There's no way to know what you're hitting. We need Henderssohn alive still.
+
+
Bravo and Oscar keep aim for several more seconds before slowly lowering their pistols.
+
+
November: Kick them over!
+
+
They obey, and November, Sierra, and Echo exit, followed by Henderssohn, Bertrand Woss, ████████ ██████, and a group of other scientists. November walks over to Bravo, spins him around, and jams the gun into his back.
+
+
November: Call for transport.
+
+
Bravo slowly pulls out a walkie talkie.
+
+
Bravo: Yeah, this is Bravo. We're gonna need a ride out, over.
+
+
Several minutes pass before two Foundation vehicles pull up. November moves the gun to Bravo's head. Sierra does the same to Oscar. November call out.
+
+
November: We're taking these cars! Everyone out, now!
+
+
The drivers exit the vehicles with their hands up. November nods to Henderssohn and leads half the scientists into one car with Sierra and Echo. November, Henderssohn, Woss and others climb into the second car and drive off. Oscar runs over to his weapon, but Bravo stops him. Bravo stares after the cars, jaw tightly clenched.
+
+
+
+Following the events at Kanorado, Director Sterling submitted a letter of resignation to Site 121. It was summarily rejected by the O5 Council. MTF Lambda-11-November, -Sierra, and -Echo were listed as traitors to the Foundation. Dr. Erik Henderssohn was designated as POI-8057-1.
+[END LOG]
+
+
+
+
+
Decrypting file……………75%….85%
+
[ERROR]
+
ENTER ENCRYPTION KEY
+
[Koenig_Salamo]
+
ACCEPTED
+
………90%….100% Complete
+
I still dream. I dreamt of the Library, where I met Solomon. He told me I was doing good work, but there are more who think like me than I realized. He tasked me with finding them.
+
While delving deeper into my research on 8057, I noticed something interesting. If your equipment is sensitive enough and you point it at just the right angle, it can detect thought frequencies. Now, our model of concepts and the noosphere is rudimentary at best, but it is remarkably similar to baseline physics. I had a theory that if a concept is annihilated and then reforms from the stray thought energy said annihilation creates, this thought frequency would undergo a phase shift. In layman’s terms, every multiple of its baseline frequency would indicate an annihilation-reformation event. I tested this with many concepts we had hypothesized had been annihilated before. The papers I left you are the results of that. The number next to the concept indicates how many times I've theorized it has been annihilated, based on the phase shift.
+Ernest, this is a weapon. We have used it before. The creatures we forgot still haunt us. Lord Blackwood may have been the first to be able to remember. Perhaps that is why they were able to step back out into the light. Perhaps now they remember what it is we did to them. Perhaps they remember how we forgot them.
+…
+…
+…
+Downloading … cherrytree.tro.ms.exe…
+………………………………………………………..
+
+
WARNING: EXTERNAL SIGNAL DETECTED; ATTEMPTING AUTOMATIC SYSTEM LOCK
+
…
+…
+… /systry.err.oo34vert3q/454345266/cmplt
+…
+…
+/cmd User/ override
+/ cmd out C: / You are attempting to override a system shutdown. Enter administrative permissions to continue_
+
+
+
+
+
+Site Director Sterling sits alone in his office. It is dark, save for the faint light from his computer, the blinking of a cursor illuminating his face. His fingers tremble. He types slowly, deliberately. He hesitates for an eternity before pressing the enter key.
+
Special Containment Procedures: While SCP-8133 cannot be contained, it is notable that the foundation monitors events of SCP-8133 occurring at all times.
+
SCP-8133-5 and SCP-8133-6 instances are to be ceased entirely; containing the entities is forbidden.
+
Individuals who have witnessed SCP-8133 instances (physically, videography, photograph) are to be given Class-A amnestics immediately.
+
A Class II search protocol is to be executed upon relocation failure of SCP-8133-3 or SCP-8133-6 instances.
+
Description: SCP-8133 is a colossal incorporeal extraterrestrial entity currently in this reality's stratosphere. SCP-8133 remains imperceptible to the naked eye, thereby rendering its exact location unidentifiable by any conventional means. Manifestations of SCP-8133 are known to be sporadic, predominantly triggered by prompting food delivery requests, with an exceptionally high likelihood associated with orders placed through Uber Eats.1
+
Prompting a food delivery request can cause SCP-8133 to manifest; prompting a food delivery exhibits approximately 72.3% chance of occurring while prompting from Uber Eats exhibits approximately 93.2% chance of occurring. If, at any time, a prompt is within the mentioned threshold, SCP-8133 will indiscriminately emit a radio wave from the point of initiation, eventually transmitting to SCP-8133-2.
+
SCP-8133-2 is an unidentified food company thought to possess multiple headquarters in each country worldwide. SCP-8133 utilizes an indefinite amount of employees; designated as SCP-8133-3. The location and whereabouts of SCP-8133-2 is unknown.
+
SCP-8133-3 takes the form of either a Caucasian or African-American humanoid male. The instances are fluent in all known languages and communicate with the language the customer is most fluent in. Recipients receiving deliveries (designated as SCP-8133-4) cause SCP-8133-3 abilities to manifest. Refer to addendums for further information
+
Addendum 8133-a1: Upon the successful receipt of delivered items, the designated SCP-8133-3 instance is mandated to undergo a rapid metamorphosis2 process. This metamorphosis culminates in the subject assuming a humanoid form that resembles the genus Cervidae3, utilizing similarities to the Wendigo4. Such instances are designated SCP-8133-5.
+
SCP-8133-5 instances are constructed with thick plate-like skin; thought to be indestructible otherwise attempted by an AR-15, Tactical Shotgun M4, or FN SCAR H. SCP-8133-5 instances are extremely hostile; and may attack any object perceptible to them.
+
The metamorphosis process SCP-8133-3 instances undergo has not been observed physically by Foundation Scientists and Researchers.Refer to Addendum 8133-a4
+
Addendum 8133-a2: Every SCP-8133-4 instance contains ~0.5 grams of a substance exhibiting similarities to Benzene. If, at any time SCP-8133-4 is digested absolutely, the normal thought processes of subjects will eventually cease if given enough time.
+
Prolonged exposure causes subjects to experience a strong urge to commit suicide; however not immediately. Subjects utilize the ability to resist this effect momentarily; however, the effects given will eventually intensify causing the subject to lose consciousness rapidly. On rare occasions, all biological functions of the subject may cease entirely.
+
Note: Refer to Addendum 8133-a3 for further information
+
Addendum 8133-a3: SCP-8133-5 instances possess the ability to constantly sense the living or dead. If, at any time, subjects have committed suicide or have lost consciousness, the designated SCP-8133-5 instance is to attempt to capture the subject.
+
If successful, the infestation process will occur. This infestation process allows the designated SCP-8133-5 instance to convert the individual into its host. Successful infestations generate SCP-8133-6 — a humanoid replica of the affected individual; however, this process is not precise on all occasions causing imperfections to be generated within the structure of the infested body (the infested body's attitude may also alter).
+
Addendum 8133-a4: A group of Foundation Researchers triggered SCP-8133 for observational purposes. Upon activation, the instance was permitted entry into the facility and subsequently directed to the testing chamber located on the sixth floor (6-F).
+
Subject D-6948 was instructed to accept the items provided. The instance did not exhibit immediate metamorphosis; however, such a transformation occurred when subject D-6948 was escorted out from the testing chamber.
+
The metamorphosis process SCP-8133-3 instances complete entirely within approximately nine milliseconds; comprehensive information regarding this phenomenon remains limited.
+
+
+
Incident ID #: 8133ag7L
+
Jay Han, Researcher at Site-98C
+
Weilan Xiaomen, Jay Han's wife
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
Jay Han: Hey, want something to eat? If ya are, I'll go get McDonald's.
+
Weilan Xiaomen: Yeah, sure. I'll just have… A twenty piece chicken nugget meal and Coke Zero.
+
Jay Han: Alright. I'll just have a quarter pounder and Coke Zero. Anything else?
+
Weilan Xiaomen: No. That's all I want.
+
Jay Han: (hears knocking on the back door) Looks like the food is here.
+
Weilan Xiaomen: Hey. Why would the delivery guy knock on the back door? By the way, the back door is surrounded by fences.
+
Jay Han: I don't know. Maybe he's just tryna be funny. (Answers the back door)
+
SCP-8133-3 instance: (no response. Subject was staring at Jay Han with a grin.)
+
Jay Han: Hey man. Uh, you got our food?
+
SCP-8133-3 instance: (big smile, heavy breathing) Hallo Herr. Ich habe dein Essen. Hello sir, I have your food.
+
Jay Han: Ah, you're German! (clears throat) Wir bestellten Essen. Können wir es haben? We ordered food. Can we have it?
+
SCP-8133-3 instance: Natürlich, Sir. Of course, Sir.
+
Jay Han: Geht es dir gut? Du scheinst ein wenig… abwesend zu sein… Are you okay? You seem a little… Off…
+
SCP-8133-3 instance: (Subject was attempting to hand over the paper bag, no response)
Jay Han: (To Weilan Xiaomen) Wait a second! (To SCP-8133-3 instance) Just… Give me a second, okay? (shuts the back door)
+
Weilan Xiaomen: Hey, what's happening? It looks like you just saw a ghost.
+
Jay Han: Listen. Close and lock every door and window in this house. Do NOT open them.
+
Weilan Xiaomen: Why? What the hell is happening?
+
Jay Han: I- I can't- (sigh) I wish I could, but if I do, we'll cause fear against the whole world. Please… Just listen to me. I'll go call the… Police.
+
Weilan Xiaomen: Okay. I'll go get a knife just in case.
+
Jay Han: Thank you. (Rushes to the second floor in a quiet room, and contacts his co-worker within the Foundation) (to his companion) Listen. Remember that new anomaly that everybody was talking about? I think there is an instance of S. C. P eight-one-three-three dash three outside our back door right now. I request for backup. It's only me and my wife in here.
+
Jay Han's co-worker: What? What happene- (Jay Han dropped the call)
+
Weilan Xiaomen: (She was behind Jay Han) Hello, Han.
+
Jay Han: We're okay now. I called for help.
+
Weilan Xiaomen: (In a child-like manner) Why? Why did you call help? We're a happy, happy, happy couple!
+
Jay Han: Wh- what are you talking about? Did you lock the do- (notices stitches on her neck)
+
Jay Han: Lan? Di- Is tha- is that even you?
+
Weilan Xiaomen: Why, of course! My dear. Who else would it be?
+
<END LOG>
+
+
Following this incident, the generated SCP-8133-6 instance (Weilan Xiaomen) was ceased. Jay Han was escorted to Site-98C for a trained foundation psychologist to gather information about the following incident. Jay Han was given Class-A amnestics after the interview.
+
+
Incident ID #: 8133de93
+
<BEGIN LOG>
+
Francis Paoli, Witness
+
Cendrick Paoli, Affected
+
Francis Paoli: Yo will you still cook for breakfast tomorrow?
+
Cendrick Paoli: I'm pretty busy tomorrow.
+
Francis Paoli: Same, actually. Well, what if we just order from UberEats?
+
Cendrick Paoli: Sure. Here's my share. (Gives 3$)
+
Francis Paoli: I'll get pancakes for me and you from McDonald's. Anything else?
+
Cendrick Paoli: I want nuggets. I'll have it when it arrives.
+
Francis Paoli: Alright.
+
Francis Paoli: (Twenty-six minutes have passed, an individual was knocking on the front door) I think it's here. I'll go get it.
+
Cendrick Paoli: (no response)
+
Francis Paoli: Geez. What's wrong with him? (Answers the door)
+
Delivery person: (stares blankly at Francis Paoli, no response)
+
Francis Paoli: Hey man. Is that everything? By the way, what happened to your hair? Oh my gosh, it's bout' to fall off to the left because all of the weight is there. I- I'm sorry. Could we please have our order?
+
Delivery person: (pauses) yes. (Attempts to hand over the bag)
+
Francis Paoli: How much do we owe you?
+
Delivery person: (walks away, no response)
+
Francis Paoli: O- okay. Free food I guess. (Walks back in)
+
Francis Paoli: (to Cendrick Paoli) hey, I got your nuggets. Everything here is complete. By the way, the delivery guy just walked off. I didn't even pay.
+
Cendrick Paoli: Oh thanks. So we got free food?
+
Francis Paoli: Exactly. I don't know why the dude did that tho.
+
Cendrick Paoli: Okay.
+
(An hour has passed, Francis Paoli was resting)
+
Francis Paoli: Ugh, what is that noise? It's literally two in the morning. (Rushes to Cendrick Paoli's room)
+
Francis Paoli: Where is he? (Rushes downstairs)
+
Francis Paoli: What the fuck? What are you doing to the couch? (Francis Paoli spotted Cendrick Paoli attempting to consume the couch)
Francis Paoli: By violating it? Yeah I don't think so. What's wrong with it?
+
Cendrick Paoli: Nothing's wrong with it. I'm trying to fix it.
+
Francis Paoli: What the fuck? So it ain't broken but you're trynna fix it?
+
Cendrick Paoli: (no response, swallows the foam from the couch)
+
Francis Paoli: Did you just swallow the fucking cotton? Dude, are you on some type of… [DATA EXPUNGED]?
+
Cendrick Paoli: [DATA EXPUNGED]? Nah, nah. I would nev- (continues consuming the couch foam)
+
Francis Paoli: I think you need therapy. I'll go call the ambulance.
+
Cendrick Paoli: The- the- the- the uh yeah. (Silence)
+
Francis Paoli: Yeah. Something is defin-
+
Cendrick Paoli: (Aggressively laughing)
+
Francis Paoli: Dude, you're starting to creep me out.
+
Cendrick Paoli: (laughing intensifies for approximately three minutes) Oh, I'm sorry. Why don't you try my nuggets? They taste good!
+
Francis Paoli: You know what, maybe that'll make me feel better. You're just so weird. (Was about to consume the item)
+
???: STOP! (From the front door)
+
<END LOG>
+
+
Following this incident, Foundation security guards spotted the two mentioned individuals outside the fourth-hall entrance. Cendrick Paoli and Francis Paoli were in a Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep, thought to have been given a tranquilizer shot by the aforementioned unidentified person (???).
+
Cendrick Paoli was classified as a "perfect doppelganger". Cendrick Paoli was ceased. Francis Paoli was given Class-A amnestics after an interview with Dr. Gidget.
Special Containment Procedures: Though the return of SCP-8136 remains a possibility, it is unlikely, as the associated terms will be found distasteful to the SCP Foundation.
+
SCP-8136 will only be returned on the event of the SCiPnet database's disclosure to the general public and release to the public domain, complete and entire, without revision, excision, or redaction.
+
The present owner (and subject) of SCP-8136 labours under no delusion that these terms will be accepted.
+
They will therefore be realized by the owner (and subject) himself, to wit, my own august personage, without Foundation assistance—I here refer, of course, to knowing assistance.
+
I regret, and delight in, the inconvenience this is certain to cause your organization. If it should be any consolation, a great many of the items in your catalogue are most certainly counterfeit, or at least the files describing them are. For a modest fee, I will gladly identify these for you once the full manifest is safely in my possession.
+
+
(No Longer) Yours,
+
+
+
— Arsène Lupin,
+SCP-8136 (former), purveyor of unpurveyables and recent immigrant to the realms of the 'real'
+
+
+
Description: SCP-8136 is the previous file slated for this SCiPnet database slot, never uploaded due in part to pataphysical corruption. Said file described the apparent real-world manifestation of Arsène Lupin, an early twentieth century French literary figure typifying the archetype of the 'gentleman thief'. SCP-8136 was stolen from the Site-19 local database on 11 February 2025 by Lupin himself. The present file was apparently opened by Lupin and uploaded to SCiPnet on this same date via unknown means, consisting only of the nonstandard Special Containment Procedures seen above.
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As all related research and secondary documentation has also been lost, only one practical means of recovering the series of events culminating in Lupin's burglary of Site-19 exists. On 15 February 2025, Foundation webcrawler I/O ANACHRON reported that an unknown user had uploaded scans of a pair of related manuscripts to Parawatch.org: "The Thief Who Stole Himself" by Edgar Allan Poe, supposedly published in the American Graham's Magazine, and "Arsène Lupin Breaches Containment" by Maurice LeBlanc, supposedly published in the French magazine Je Sais Tout. I/O ANACHRON's scrutiny was triggered by the following facts:
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Neither work was previously known to exist, despite the fame of both authors;
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Graham's Magazine has been defunct since 1858;
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Je Sais Tout has been defunct since 1939;
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Edgar Allan Poe has been deceased since 1849;
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Maurice LeBlanc has been deceased since 1941;
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Both works carry a publication date of February 2025, in apparent further contradiction of the above.
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Both works depict the creation and theft of SCP-8136, from two different perspectives:
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the close personal friend of Poe's proto-detective character C. Auguste Dupin;
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a close personal friend of LeBlanc's Arsène Lupin.
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The provenance of each work is unknown, and literary analysis has neither confirmed nor denied their putative authorship.
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Addendum 8136-1, Timeline Reconstruction: As all other perspectives are undergoing reconstruction at this time, the remainder of this file will consist of the following:
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commentary from Site-19 Chief of Investigation Detective Quinn Roscoe, HMCL supervisor for this file (and its predecessor); and
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excerpts from the supposed Poe and LeBlanc narratives.
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SCP-8136 Report
+by Quinn Roscoe
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I will be commenting on each passage in turn, but a very brief preamble should serve to allay the reader's fears.
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A lengthy and overly-verbose treatise on the nature of the anomalous, the Foundation, and the Veil of Normalcy prefaces the 'Poe' text. The bulk of this has been excised for brevity and legibility, though I have included the opening paragraphs to give the reader a taste of what they aren't missing. As with the real Poe, luckily, the author settles into a rhythm once the plot finally gets moving.
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I've made similar edits to both works; on the whole, however, the prose in the 'LeBlanc' piece requires far less literary intervention than with 'Poe'. I would say that's evidence in favour of the texts' authenticity, but…
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I will allow the remainder of this file to speak to that issue.
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The Thief Who Stole Himself
+by Edgar Allan Poe
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It is a fact to be deplored that a credulous populace, ensnared as they are in the coils of a collective ignorance wholly or in part engendered by an abhorrence of analysis —born no doubt of adolescent preferences for play above practicality —bordering often on the manic, if not religious, turns so often in its paroxysms of fear to explanations rather fantastical than rational. That minds too timorous to conceive of such terrors as Euler's Constant in the cold light of day might still imagine into being such laughable bogey-men as Spring-Heeled Jack, El Coco, or the Bonhomme Sept-Heures, is a sad commentary on the otherwise risible gullibility of our fellow human creatures. And yet my eminent friend C. Auguste Dupin, foremost analytical mind of his generation and ratiocinator par excellence, assures me that there does exist a world, careening through the unsoundable void alongside the one we together inhabit, which admits of some such possibilities within the rigid frameworks constructed with such care by Pascal, Newton, Franklin et al. Knowledge of this scenario is not widely shared, and there is to blame a behemoth of both endeavor and science perverted to the cause of universal ignorance, a corporate entity known from Occident to Orient as the Foundation…
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Suffice to say it is established in this opening section that the narrator and his talented friend are both now aware of the world on our side of the Veil, though how this came to pass is never explained.
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Arsène Lupin Breaches Containment
+by Maurice LeBlanc
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It is no strange thing to exist. Men have existed as long as mankind, by logical default. But only a mind self-honed in advance to admit any possibility, no matter how unlikely, could long survive the strangeness of discovering not only that one's own existence was once merely fanciful, but also that it now has turned factual. Such a mind has Arsène Lupin.
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On discovering himself transported to a setting far removed, if only temporally, from the Paris of his previous exploits, a world of some eight billions wielding mastery over time and space which had only ever known him as a figment of fiction, that worthy wasted no time on slack-jawed awe or superstitious remonstration. His world had never kept up with him before. This one would not long outpace him.
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In the glow of electric light run rampant, Arsène Lupin gazed on the motor-cars, aero-planes, thinking machines and mobile telephones of this brave new Earth, and set immediately to the task of acquiring them for himself.
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Lupin indulges in a series of escapades across the modern world, promptly acquiring the technological facility necessary to resume his traditional depredations. Notably, rather than hoarding the items he steals or gifting them to the less fortunate as was his prior modus operandi, he releases them to the public domain, or at least the assets required to reverse-engineer them, wherever possible.
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My companion on occasion heeds the call to showmanship. That he may derive from a single glance, an inch of foolscap or a scrap of speech a veritable wealth of excellent clews I have already shewn, but on the occasion of our remarkable transportation, he required only one; and lacking an immediate audience to impress with his skills of deduction, that single clew sufficed. Still, he remained Dupin, and could not resist the allure of a dramatic presentation.
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"The air," he declared suddenly, as we promenaded in the mist of the Faubourg Saint Germain. "The air is foul. Carbon dioxide, I should say. Yes. My friend, it is the future!"
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"Whatever can you mean, Dupin?" I cried. "In what way is carbon dioxide the future?"
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But he shook his head, and peered up at the sky. I followed his gaze, and fancied I witnessed a bird in flight, though the sun caught its breast in a manner most unusual. "You have heard me discourse on the gas turbine, P__, have you not?"
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I could not for the life of me comprehend how this was not a changing of the topic, but knowing that my companion's course never wavered without reason, I merely nodded and awaited explication.
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He quickened his pace, and I jogged to keep up. "This malaise is the natural —nay, not natural, but scientific! —end to such advances. Did I not tell you? Perhaps Otto has finished his engine… oh, but no, this is so much more. So much more, mark me!"
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And by the force of his own strides he ejected himself from the arcade, and I behind him. We stepped together into the streetside proper, and I saw that what he claimed, fantastic though it was, was so.
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I have never seen my friend so stirred to emotion as when he spun on the curb and exhorted me, breathless, to "Behold! To-morrow!"
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Dupin and Poe quickly learn that the mansion they once inhabited, rumoured to be haunted, is now quarantined by the SCP Foundation. They are able to secure room and board above a flower shop when Dupin successfully diagnoses the shop-owner's allergic condition after only a brief conversation, at which point the armchair detective begins an earnest study of news media to catch up on his new circumstances. He soon secures a modest income via 'gig' detective work using the Paris classifieds, until a chance encounter with a local police officer results in him solving a locked-room murder mystery wherein the cause of death was a heart attack, and the culprit was, in Dupin's words, "an tremendous Gorilla, clad in fabric such as your astro-nauts are said to wear." I/O ANACHRON flagged this for review, resulting in both the re-containment of SCP-2006 and the detention of Dupin and Poe by the Foundation.
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My memories of those first frightful days have the quality of scuffed crystal: clear, in the main, but with an indelible halo of… well. I shall leave that mystery as an exercise for the reader, at present.
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It was always the fashion of my friend Lupin to be one step ahead of his would-be interlocutors on all matters pertaining to his art. I say fashion, because it was not a firm rule; of these, by both temperament and necessity, he had few. But he did like to be informed, and so before embarking on what was bound to become his most exuberant spree, he availed himself of a century's worth of literature on the matter of genteel crime.
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In those annals he discovered, to his considerable delight, that he himself had become the ideal type of daredevil rapscallion.
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He also discovered that he was held not to exist, but to be a fictional personage created by one M__ L_B__.
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"L_B__!" he addressed me, laughing. "What a hash you have made of my exploits!"
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He made great fun of chastising me for authoring so many extraordinary adventures, and ascribing their execution to him (though every word, I attest, was God's own truth). But on the matter of his fame, he resolved in grave solemnity to out-do in every respect his known performances, such that the reality of Arsène Lupin would rapidly outstrip his notoriety in print.
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In a fortnight he was the terror of the unseen world. Who was it, cried android and golem and technomancer alike, that had stolen the Red ICE from the Bank of Eurtec without raising one of its seven hundred finely-tuned alarms? Surely anyone but Arsène Lupin, whose calling card was found at the scene, because that man did not exist. Who dared, the Black Lord of Alagadda demanded, to pilfer the choicest volumes of his Athenaeum of Severed Tongues? It could not be Arsène Lupin, whatever the relic left in his wake might claim, because never even in the Nevermeant had the denizens of serialized fiction sprung to life. Why, the King of Hy-Brasil wanted to know, had someone assumed the unlikely name of Arsène Lupin to extract a sum of gold coin from his treasury, and leave in its place one of the stolen sherds of crystal needed to restore its wards of old? He would have paid three times the price, and not had to replace the locks.
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The most obvious answer, though least likely, was soon known to be true.
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Arsène Lupin, the man, the legend, the menace of the idle rich, was real.
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It was at this point that we started to take notice. Lupin managed to piss off just about every single Group of Interest in the normalcy community, within the space of a month, dumping most of what he stole on the internet and committing it to the commons. Given that copyright is a tricky business when most of the Earth's legal apparatus is on the other side of the Veil, it was increasingly difficult for the affected parties to find redress or reclaim their property.
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We knew it was only a matter of time before he came for us.
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Luckily, or so I thought at the time, we were ready.
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Those early days in this latter age were troubling in the main, and so the Chevalier and I were wont to pass our nights beneath le Dame de Fer. There was comfort in that spire of steel; though it spoke without a doubt to the advanced date, a thing we could scarcely have imagined in our own time, still it was far closer to our advanced antiquity than the motor-carriages and cell-phones which crowded us at every hour.
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Dupin was mid-lecture on the mind of M. Eiffel —something about the shape of one stanchion in particular, through a long line of reasoning, spoke to the architect's longing for brotherly love —when a trio of toughs emerged from the shadows and swaddled us in stultifying velvet.
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We awoke, together, in a bland and sterile space, a room so perfectly white and yet so redolent with despair, it might have been the unholy bastard of le Hôpital Lariboisière and le Hôpital général, equal parts sanitarium and gaol. An inscrutable personage sat across the steel table, and when they spoke, it was in a voice of authority.
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"My name is Detective Roscoe," our captor intoned. "Who the h_ll are you?"
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I bristled at the vulgarity, while my companion raised a brow at the familiarity. As was the custom between us, Dupin spoke for both. "I am only C. Auguste Dupin, a gentleman of modest means and modest talent." I chuckled to myself at the thought of Dupin termed 'only' and 'modest'. "This is my close companion, whose identity does not concern you."
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Roscoe rolled their eyes. "Dupin. Okay. That's familiar, which is a bad thing. I'll have to look it up."
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At this, I thought it my turn to intervene. "Only that same C. Auguste Dupin who resolved The Murders in the Rue Morgue! Who discerned the true circumstances of The Murder of Marie Rogêt! Famed recoverer of The Purloined Letter! Only he!'
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Dupin placed a hand on my shoulder, and I thrilled at the touch. "Hush," he murmured. "You do me too much honor, and that runs but a thin credit in the bastille."
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Roscoe held a device up to their face, and began tapping at it with narrowed eyes. I had seen such curious things in the city, though I had not yet had time (nor, in truth, mustered courage) to determine their purpose for myself, or at least ask Dupin.
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"Might I inquire on what charge we are detained?" Dupin asked demurely.
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Roscoe looked up from their tablet-device, and smirked. "Not being real."
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"Ah." Dupin nodded. "It would naturally become necessary to regulate such things, should they become possible. I comprehend."
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I stared at my friend. "I do not. What does it mean, 'Not being real'?"
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Dupin merely patted my shoulder, and continued to address the 'detective'. "You are incorrect, however, in your assumption. My motivations are purely intellectual, true, but I am not averse to recompense. Particularly in my present strained circumstances."
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I smiled in anticipation of what was to follow, as Roscoe first nodded absent-mindedly, then fixed my companion with that stare which I knew all too well. "Sorry," they murmured, "run that by me again? I didn't say anything about your motivations."
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"You were wondering," Dupin smiled, "whether the aid of a person such as myself might be obtained for a fee, or the promise of release. It is a simple deduction. You hold in your hand some manner of tablet computer. By the hesitancy of your tapping, I suspect one of two possibilities: you are unaccustomed to this device, or your training predates its wide use. By the crow's feet around your eyes, I determine the latter more likely. You tapped the same space twice, and by the consternation apparent in your brow I can surmise this represents an error. Your eyes rolled —you really must restrain that impulse, if law enforcement is your career, as it quite gives up the game as regards your emotional state —and you instinctively twitched your typing hand in the direction of your back pocket. I know our times are not so far removed in terms of social convention as to have altered the customary location of a gentleperson's purse. You were thinking you are not compensated well enough for the frustrations of your post, and this produced the habitual impulse to assure yourself of the presence of your pocket-book. At this thought the light of intrigue entered into your eyes, and as you glanced up at me briefly, you acquired what by your standards is likely a sly expression. You were wondering if my own services might be secured for a sensible sum. You then took in my attire, its admittedly ghastly state of repair —I have seen that look from policemen before, in both my time and yours, as suspicions of loitering were raised —and your shoulders sank almost imperceptibly in disappointment. You had reached the conclusion that I am a mere dilettante, an hobbyist, and not an expert for hire. For how could I present myself so shabbily, how could I not afford a more elaborate wardrobe, if my obvious talents were for sale? At this point I feel the need to intervene, because the course of your thoughts has run far too athwart of reality's channel. I am most certainly available for employment, Detective Roscoe, and I suspect I have just passed my interview before it even begins."
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It was all I could do not to break into laughter as every known emotion crossed our interviewer's face.
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I was not at all surprised to see them settle on a hungry smile.
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Dupin had figured out that he was fictional pretty quickly. Probably as soon as he figured out Google. His buddy — who does in fact answer to Poe, and looks a lot like him, too, though that's where the resemblance ends — was a lot slower on the uptake; he's like a parody of Watson. Or I guess Watson is a more competent version of him. Whatever.
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In any case, I expressed polite interest in Dupin's offer to work for us. I had to run it past a lot of folks higher-up, but by this point Lupin was becoming such a serious concern that they were willing to give it due consideration.
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It was Goemon who ended up tipping the balance.
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A day after my interview with the transplanted fictional Frenchmen, a bandit claiming to be the historical Ishikawa Goemon, but resembling more closely the mythological version, was captured at Bio-Research Area-12 while attempting to steal specimens of SCP-143, apparently to construct weapons and armor. Correspondence with the Japanese Branch and IJAMEA confirmed that a figure matching Goemon's description had already engaged in a series of daring robberies on Honshu. As further reports of anomalous crime began to rise across the globe, it became apparent that we were dealing with a much more serious problem than we'd realized.
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We've known about pataphysics long enough to know that the only thing which can effectively oppose a fictional antagonist is a fictional protagonist.
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I am sure it speaks ill of my character that I would accept charity of unsavoury origin, but I allowed my friend Lupin to put me up in comfortable apartments whilst we worked out the facts of our new existence. "Consider it repayment of royalties," he winked, before assuring me these funds in particular had come to him via a comparatively principled transaction: the repatriation of certain ritual items from the Royal Alberta Museum to the descendants of their owners, facilitated by a wealthy and morally scrupulous donor who wishes at this time to remain anonymous.
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With the aid of that fanciful invention, the inter-net, I daily negotiated the complications of plying my authorial trade using my own name, assumed by all and sundry to be a nom de plume due to my own apparent demise a generation prior. I enjoyed only indifferent success at this, literary standards having apparently altered significantly in the interim, until a rude interruption arrived at my doorstep in the form of a stout, stolid gentleman of the law—in fact the only such individual alive with whom I was already acquainted.
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The great detective Ganimard, who had so often troubled (and been troubled by, out of all proportion) my friend Lupin, had found me. He asked with great politeness whether I might allow him entry, and having little to hide of which he was apparently not already aware, I acquiesced.
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"How is it that you are here, detective?" I inquired as we sat in my sitting-room. "More to the point, how is it that you exist?"
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The old sleuth grunted. "Your friend Monsieur Lupin is a wily adversary. It is impossible to find him if he does not wish to be found. You, on the other hand, are no more cagey than a Seine salmon."
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I am forced to admit this assessment hit the mark.
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"But what purpose have you in confronting me so?" I pressed.
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Again, he grunted. "This is no confrontation. I seek your assistance."
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"What assistance can I be to you?"
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"I find myself unable to secure employment," he admitted with a twinge of embarrassment. "While my reputation precedes me, it also holds me to be a character from dime store novels."
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"Ah," I agreed. "I find myself in similar straits."
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A third grunt. "But I have followed the new career of our mutual acquaintance, M. Lupin, and my investigations have given me great insight. Have you had occasion to notice the character of this world to which we have been transported, Monsieur L_B__?"
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"I cannot imagine to what you refer, detective."
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He sat forward, shoulders hunched. "These are times fantastic strange," he said gravely.
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"Pah." I dismissed his concerns with a wave. "This is nothing new to us. Have you forgotten the affair of the god-stone, or the Fountain of Youth?"
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"This Earth stands on a knife's edge," he continued as though I had not spoken, "with oblivion all around. That renegade may bring us all toppling down at any time, with his selfish games. Would you have all eternity's end on your conscience?"
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With reference to the Foundation's role in preserving the stability of baseline reality, Ganimard succeeded in convincing LeBlanc that Lupin must be, if not captured, at least convinced of the error of his ways. Having shadowed both narrator and thief to the extent his abilities allowed, the detective knew what sort of activity would attract our attention. He performed it, and both individuals were promptly contained and transported to Site-19 for interview. To nobody's surprise, the narrator resembled the real Maurice LeBlanc and answered to his name, though the personal history he related to me was that of his fictional persona only.
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Ganimard immediately offered his assistance with Lupin's detainment; as the latter's spree had by now become a matter of global import, and the attention of the mundane press had been captured as well, this offer was seriously considered.
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Complicating the matter was an individual claiming to be Irene Adler, fictional rogue from Arthur Conan Doyle's "A Scandal in Bohemia." Adler had been running a blackmail racket implicating the Patriarchs of the Cogwork Orthodox Church, the Chairman of the Manna Charitable Foundation, the Assistant Director of the Unusual Incidents Unit, and Dr. Wondertainment; her error was in attempting to add members of the Overseer Council to this list.
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It was now confirmed that Lupin's appearance was no isolated incident.
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It was a source of great consternation to me that Dupin and I were kept separate during this period of trial incarceration, though we were allowed to visit during lunch-times and at dinner. In these intervals I would find the Chevalier lost in meditation, whether under interrogation or not; he had been allowed to retain his green eye-glasses, and he employed them to disguise his mental absence whilst the idle prattle of our captors washed over him.
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When interviewed, as well, we were almost never parted. I began to fancy they considered us a matched set, which sufficed for my only source of pleasure in those greyest of days.
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One such interview, however, stands out as the most auspicious, for it marked a change in the fortunes of all involved, and many others beside. Detective Roscoe, who had repeatedly dismissed my friend's asking after the results of his offer, finally accepted it with a handshake and the signing of some papers.
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"That's settled," Roscoe sighed. "You work for us, now."
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"For the time," Dupin allowed.
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Roscoe allowed this impertinence to pass uncommented-upon. "Your first assignment is to help me catch Arsène Lupin."
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Dupin blinked. "Arsène Lupin?"
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"That's what I said."
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My friend placed a hand upon his temple, and closed his eyes. I knew from long acquaintance he was racking his brains to place the name, and its import, within his own internal library. That voluminous archive at times took days, even weeks to search, but this time the results came swiftly. "Ah, yes. I encountered that name in my early researches. A fictional thief, was he not? And a very good one, although," and I saw mischief enter into Dupin's eyes, "he rather relied on a lot of authorial assistance for his exploits, I thought. Like the world was all set up for him to succeed, as it so rarely is in reality."
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"Whereas," the detective remarked archly, "your own logical hopscotches are totally fair and reasonable."
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Dupin scoffed. "I make no leaps, Detective. I merely walk the shortest path from intuition to resolution."
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Roscoe shook their head, but they were smiling. "Well, whatever. Lupin is real, just like you. And he's stealing everything nailed down, the kitchen sink, et cetera. We need him stopped. We're putting together a team."
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At this, my friend was visibly taken aback. "Am I to understand," he frowned, "that you consider my talents insufficient to the task?"
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"It's not that, precisely." Roscoe tapped at their tablet-device, and turned it around so we could see. "It's just that we have more than one offer, and this one comes with an inside perspective."
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We glanced at the device, which displayed an electronic image of a man in strange walking-clothes sitting in a room very much like our own. "Ought I to know this fellow?" Dupin inquired. "I am not precisely up-to-date on the names and appearances of your local gentry."
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Roscoe recovered the device. "His name is Ganimard. He's a detective, like us."
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"I am a ratiocinator," Dupin declared.
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"Cool." I meant to ask after the meaning of this idiom, but Roscoe's brusque manner admitted of no interruption. "He's a whatever that is, then, like us. Specifically he's the guy who's spent his career chasing Lupin. Knows all about him. Name of Ganimard."
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At this, Dupin's eyes lit up. I well knew why. "Ganimard!" he cried. "He must be none other than the progeny of our own Prefect G_!"
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I nodded agreement. It had to be so.
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"This man may be of some use to you," Dupin agreed. "If you can be made certain of his identity, that is. Have you such means?"
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Roscoe smiled. "Leave that to me. The only thing I want you two focused on is how to catch the uncatchable thief."
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The decision was made to employ both Dupin and Ganimard from within containment, with limited credentials, but not to let them meet; being separate anomalies from separate fictional sources, the pataphysical implications could apparently be severe. A secure partition was created on Site-19's filespace for their data, via which they might collaborate.
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To the list of peculiar Persons of Interest we also added Zenigata Heiji, a fictional Japanese policeman who had apparently been pursuing Goemon, and that pursuit led him to us. Though we contained Zenigata, as we had Goemon and Adler, his existence did attest to the possibility that our detectives might also be the real deal.
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As a fly on the wall, I observed how my friend's nemesis and his opposite number embarked on their collaborative enterprise.
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Vexatious though it was at the time, the reticence with which M. Ganimard greeted his new relationship with M. Dupin spoke well of the former's prudence and skepticism. "What do you know of this man Dupin?" he asked Detective Roscoe.
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"He's basically the first detective," Roscoe mused. "The model for Sherlock Holmes."
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Ganimard, stone-faced, addressed that absurdity thus: "You are referring perhaps to Herlock Sholmes?"
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Nonplussed, Roscoe did a thing M. Dupin could not do: they ignored what they did not understand. "Let me put it another way. You're the evolution of what he was. He's an amateur at the thing you do professionally."
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'Amateur', I have since learned, now carries pejorative connotations none of our time-travelling set would have understood or appreciated. M. Ganimard would have understood this to mean instead that his prospective partner was a mere hobbyist, a suggestion which did nothing to mollify him, for his suspicions were actuated not by jealousy but the sting of long-past failures. "I am not casting aspersions on his methods, monsieur," he told Roscoe. "I am suggesting he may be Arsène Lupin."
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But Roscoe was unruffled. "Do you remember your intake interview?"
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"Of course," the elder detective rumbled. "Your questions were impertinent, and by that I mean entirely beside the point."
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"That was a lie detector test. We were confirming your identity. You might have been a fictional character, but you're real now. The same tests that work on real people—and our tests do work, rest assured—work on you. We gave those tests to Dupin, his friend, and yours. All of you are who you claim to be."
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Ganimard allowed this with an inclination of the chin, but responded in tones of strictest caution: "That may well be, and I am glad to hear of it, but remember you this: Arsène Lupin is a master of disguise, and he will always appear where you expect him least."
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This in fact formed the basis of the first snare laid by M. Roscoe, under the direction of both M. Dupin and M. Ganimard. Lupin had announced his intention to burgle a residence belonging to one Iris Dark, and that frightful personage was convinced to turn the premises over to Roscoe's management with little to no coaxing, due to the reputation my friend had so far cultivated amongst the uneasy upper crust. Everyone employed at the mansion was quietly replaced with a Foundation doppelganger, coached in their roles by Dark herself and indistinguishable from the real thing. Each would check in with Roscoe at regular intervals, and so their replacement would prove impossible.
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In the aftermath, with Mme. Dark's private reserve of Atlantean spirits largely pilfered, M. Ganimard remarked to M. Dupin: "Did I not tell you he was slippery? He always, always has men on the inside. He attracts co-conspirators in proportion to his renown."
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When next the trap was set, sprung, and found empty—this time an elaborate scheme to ferret out Lupin sympathizers in the Three Portlands Opera House, which resulted only in the loss of the sole surviving copy of Shakespeare's Love's Labour's Won—M. Ganimard remarked: "Did I not tell you he was sly? The man works out every possible way to thwart his intention, and develops countermeasures for each. He has planned a way out of every outcome wherein you clap irons to him. You must be devious as a fox to come close to matching my nemesis."
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The final complete collaboration, a near-miss wherein Roscoe themself 'winged' the thief in the shoulder as the latter fled, produced the most basic remonstration of all from M. Ganimard: "Did I not tell you? He flees not as though the devil were on his heels, but as though pursued by God himself. If he is running, you will never catch him. If his object is accomplished, his escape is a foregone conclusion. Unless escape is not his aim."
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At this M. Dupin declared that he had learned more than enough to secure the containment of Arsène Lupin. With M. Ganimard's aid, he constructed less a plan than a constellation of interlinked schemes certain to draw in the notorious rogue and trap him in its excess of webbed fibres. At the centre was the employment of all the detectives had learned in the creation of a comprehensive dossier on Lupin, with the dubious title of SCP-8136. The file would remain local, sequestered from the wider database, to prevent something called 'pataphysical corruption' which no-one took pains to explain to either protagonist.
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"And that," M. Dupin remarked with satisfaction, "will be sufficient to collar the crook."
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M. Ganimard quite agreed.
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+
+
At this point the Site .aic identified a serious security breach attempted with Ganimard's credentials. Apparently the old detective had been snooping in high-clearance files — specifically the ones related to our other fictional inmates, to whose number we had recently added an extremely nonplussed Belgian detective.I keep trying to add his name to the file, and it won't save. What's going on? — and overstepped his boundaries. A Department of Containment expert took Ganimard into custody, grilled him for an hour, and then had him amnesticized so hard he lost every moment he'd spent in the present day. They dropped him in a cell, and that's where I found him, baffled and totally useless.
+
Worse, Lupin's narrator, 'LeBlanc', was nowhere to be found. I began to fear that Ganimard's admonitions had been correct: Lupin had been among us, and was no longer. Perhaps the old detective hadn't abused his credentials after all.
+
But Dupin wasn't worried. LeBlanc had never seen the plan, and even if he had, I doubt he could have comprehended it. I'm still having trouble with the details myself, and that's after seeing it put into action.
+
+
+
I have never known Dupin to be close-lipped after success, but the curious case of the containment of Arsène Lupin proved an outlier in that respect. Once the thief was packed away, my friend would not be moved by any plea to reveal precisely how the thing was so neatly done.
+
The only wrinkle in an otherwise immaculate execution was Lupin's 'theft' of a few choice documents in facsimile form, transmitted from the Site via means unknown. The public received their customary tribute, though I can't imagine what they made of it. Lacking the context to understand an S-C-P file, might one not brush it off as a mere flight of fancy? In any case, electronic back-ups abounding, nothing of value was actually lost.
+
Though the details of my friend's operation may remain forever occluded, the most basic facts are not in dispute. Lupin was ensnared by his own vanity. He had been building up to the burglary of Site-19, and had been presented with a prize he could not countenance living without. A prize tailored precisely to his arrogance, and his fascination with succeeding beyond the bounds of mere possibility.
+
In failing this test of character, he instead became the prize of M. Dupin.
+
+
+
It's nice to see I don't get any respect in Poe's narrative. The plan might have been Dupin, with a hint of Ganimard, but I put it into motion. And really, we let Lupin do all the work for us. I was extremely relieved that it all worked out, considering the man was a hair's breadth away from making off with some extremely dangerous anomalies.
+
I should have known better.
+
At any rate, this victory promised an even harder road ahead. I'd been reading up on Lupin, and it was a really instructive exercise.
+
In his very first story, he's arrested by Ganimard and imprisoned.
+
In the second story, he nevertheless steals again.
+
In the third, he escapes.
+
So I wasn't exactly filled with confidence when the man turned to me, grinning like a fool, and said this:
+
"Let it be known that I, Arsène Lupin, plan on mounting the greatest heist the Foundation has ever seen! One month from now, you will come to know a loss so severe, you will simply be unable to continue as you were."
+
With Ganimard out of commission, there was really nothing for it. Against the protests of the Department of Pataphysics, I agreed to let Dupin interview the thief.
+
+
+
The following vignette was related to me at the conclusion of this sordid affair. Let it be known I am less than well-pleased at my part in this drama, though with time and a little distance I may yet learn to find it amusing.
+
Arsène Lupin has a phenomenal memory, and a charitable streak, so I imagine his re-enactment of the following fateful meeting to be accurate in every respect. Certainly he has no reason to portray his opponent in such a favourable light, unless it be a ploy to ensure the ratiocinator confirms the narrative's veracity, and Lupin's own rampant witticisms.
+
When the rumpled sleuth entered Lupin's cell, he found there a charming, lively young man of athletic build and sanguine disposition. "Bonjour, M. Dupin!" he cried, and stood to attention. The cotton slippers he wore did not click, but the gesture was there nevertheless. "I salute your success." And this he did.
+
M. Dupin looked the thief up and down, and smiled wryly. "You know my name? Of course, you would have heard it over the radio."
+
But Lupin shook his head, grinning. "Long before that. I made a study of potential adversaries, you know, before I began my… carousal, shall we say? And of my potentials, I daresay you rated most highly. Save perhaps for Herlock Sholmes, but that one's always too tardy to catch more than my dust."
+
Dupin sat down, and the thief followed suit. "Tell me," the 'Chevalier' demanded, "how did you know it was I who hounded you?"
+
Lupin laughed. "By the rational timbre of your baying. Your barks have a linear quality, Dupin, and I mean that as a compliment. The shortest distance between two points, as it were." He gestured to demonstrate the metaphor. "From conception to entrapment, a straight line. Very logical."
+
Dupin leaned back, and regarded the other man with something like respect. "And yet you were captured," he pointed out. "Why, if you were able to glean so much about your pursuers?"
+
Lupin pursed his lips. "Perhaps you might tell me?"
+
Dupin's face lost all the characteristics of a set of human features save their physical shape, all ego and affect draining out of them, and in a monotone he half-chanted: "Your statement to Detective Roscoe suggests you allowed yourself to be captured in order to send a message. You send messages to lay false trails, or unsettle your marks. You could have sent this message without allowing yourself to be captured, so the message was a false blind. You wanted to be captured because it would allow you to realize your ulterior motive. That motive would have to be impossible to achieve except through long-term occupancy of this facility. You would only have set me on this train of thought if you wanted me to consider the points I have already outlined. You therefore grow closer to your goal by engaging in this interview. You therefore expect to learn something from me, or implant some notion in my head, which will allow you to escape and/or acquire your chosen object. You allowed yourself to be captured so that we might meet."
+
Lupin clapped. "Brilliant! Ratiocinated to a 't', my good man. I never doubted you for a second. A lesser reasoner might have discounted his own excellence as the impetus for another's actions, but never the humble C.A. Dupin!"
+
Dupin, his monologue concluded, gradually gathered up the threads of his public face. "Mm," he murmured. "But to what end, these theatrics? What use do you expect to make of me?"
+
"Oh, come." Lupin slid back his chair, produced his slippers from beneath the table, feet warmly ensconced within, and placed them on the steel between himself and the expert amateur. "Neither of us wants to make it that simple."
+
"That is true. I will question you more directly, then, and make what I will of however you respond. What is this business about the public domain? Why this mania for abstracting art, literature, and baser things to the commons?"
+
"That is not my secret alone, and so I alone cannot tell you. For my part, though, I will say that taking a thing has always been far more gratifying than simply possessing it."
+
Dupin nodded. "Fine. What did you mean by your ultimatum to Detective Roscoe?"
+
Lupin allowed his own façade to drop, and he said very seriously: "I meant that what you hold, we will have, and there is nothing you can do to prevent it."
+
Dupin nodded again. "You are speaking of SCP-8136. The file I opened on you."
+
Lupin brightened. "Was that you? Of course it was. You set the lure. You knew I could never resist the narcissistic impulse. To own myself! The dream of every accomplished gentleman."
+
"Mm."
+
"And I'll note it's the only item of its kind, despite a wealth of potential subjects. Why is that, I wonder? To further underline its rarity?"
+
Dupin offered him nothing.
+
"Oh, yes," Lupin chuckled, "I know all about your system, what it does and does not contain. Your merciless catalogue."
+
"Not mine," Dupin protested. "I have a catalogue of my own, but it is just and only that. My own." And he tapped his temple meaningfully.
+
Lupin doffed an imaginary cap. "Apologies. I would hate to tar such a fine pheasant as yourself with the same brush I will use on his employers."
+
Dupin yawned. "I am sorry, but where mixed metaphors are concerned, I am a lightweight. I have drunk my fill of bandying. Tell me something useful, something interesting, M. Lupin, or I shall have to bid you good-night."
+
Lupin stretched his hands behind his head, and from that louche position, offered only this: "What I have in mind, M. Dupin, will benefit us both. And though you and I may be evenly matched, you will need rather a lot of help if you are to defeat my master plan."
+
Dupin stood, and buttoned his breastcoat. "Be that as it may, I may essay the thing myself. I am deprived of expert counsel, thanks to the blundering of your fool friend Ganimard."
+
This arrested the thief's attention, and he straightened his slouch in response. "Ganimard? Where is the old dullard? Not ill-used, I hope. He is so nearly brilliant, you know. Only needs a bit of polish, to augment his Gallic nose."
+
Dupin merely bowed, however, and called for the gaoler.
+
"Ganimard," Lupin repeated when his interviewer had left. "Yes, Ganimard may be just the thing."
+
+
+
As Dupin had suspected, the thief showed his hand. I gave him permission to interview Ganimard in person, since meeting Lupin had failed to destroy the universe or cause anyone to melt into the floor like in Timecop.
+
And not, as has been suggested elsewhere, because I was getting reckless after we had to arrest Robin Hood for attacking D.C. al Fine's motorcade.
+
+
+
By this stage in our strange collaboration with the S-C-P Foundation, scarce any attention was paid me by anyone save Dupin. The latter continued to confide in me, of course, as he had long become accustomed to a sounding board of my particular composition, but I was otherwise free to observe without fear that I might myself become the topic of conversation.
+
And so I bore witness when the two fictive bloodhounds finally met.
+
Ganimard was hollow-eyed and furtive, as might have been expected from a man of the law who awakes to find himself in strange quarters in a stranger era. He had been told nothing, and had many questions.
+
"Who are you, monsieur?" The old police-man gripped the edges of the table as though afraid it might float away if he did not. Clinging to the only solid thing left him. "By what right do you detain me so?"
+
Dupin folded his hands neatly in front of him, and spoke in tones of gentle conciliation. "Monsieur Ganimard, I am one such as you. A foreigner in bondage. There is not time to explain how we came to this place, or the implications of our meeting. I assure you all will be made plain, and soon. But first there is the matter of Arsène Lupin."
+
At the mention of that name, Ganimard's entire body seemed to relax. He slouched back in his chair, and uttered a mirthless bark. "Lupin. Of course. How else… of course. Monsieur, I have been hornswoggled and made a fool. What scheme has my… adversary, concocted this time, and how do I fit into it?"
+
Dupin smiled. "That is precisely what I would like to know. It is believed you were brought here under false pretenses, by Lupin in the guise of a mutual friend —you are familiar with M. LeBlanc?"
+
Ganimard scoffed. "LeBlanc as well? I always knew his interest in Lupin was more than mere curiosity."
+
"Quite so. You were brought here to aid in Lupin's capture, but now it is obvious the fellow himself interfered in the execution of that feat. But not indefinitely, as we have him now safely stowed. Yes, I quite agree, although I will need to have certain assurances before we move forward."
+
Ganimard had done nothing but widen his eyes a fraction; at my friend's customary imposition on his thoughts, he narrowed them again. "I was going to say that I should like to speak to Lupin, but you responded before the words had left my mouth. What manner of devil are you?"
+
"A useful one. My name is Dupin, and I am very pleased to meet your acquaintance for a second time. I have also had some dealings with your grand-father, in times long gone, or else I am very much mistaken."
+
A curious thing happened then. A look of complete serenity came over Ganimard, as though every earthly sensation had left his body, and then in an instant he re-collected himself and smiled. "Of course. Dupin. Grand-pere spoke of you often, monsieur, and with something near to reverence. It would be an honor to aid you in your task. No, I quite agree, he most certainly will."
+
Now it was Dupin's eyes which widened. "I am unaccustomed to having that little trick used against me. Perhaps we truly are kindred spirits."
+
But Ganimard laughed, with a little more delight than before, and shook his head. "No, monsieur, I merely surmised that you must know Arsène Lupin quite well to have successfully detained him, and if you know him so well as that, you also know what must come next. And what we must attempt. And how favorable, or not, are the odds of our success."
+
I admit I was entirely lost as to the meaning of these implications. It was as though a nightmare of mine had come true: I was in the company of two Dupins, the greater and a lesser, and following their conversation was like reading one half of a telegraphy correspondence.
+
"Still." Dupin rose, and buttoned his waistcoat with great care before extending his hand. "Must needs we try, eh?"
+
Ganimard took his hand, and made no promises.
+
+
+
But nothing exploded, so there.
+
+
+
I will continue to relate these events from Lupin's own perspective, as I do not trust my own judgement in this matter. He has been 'kind' enough to provide a summary of his final interview, and as I can confirm the general veracity of his account, I append it now below.
+
"The man incarcerated knows few pleasures, and the company of his fellow man least of all. It was therefore a source of joy to me when the door to my chamber opened, and I beheld the bedraggled visage of my old friend Ganimard.
+
I believe I must have shouted when I saw him, 'Detective!' and then leapt to my feet to embrace him. He shrank from the familiarity, and I saw from the look in his eyes that he knew he had been ill-used. I clapped him on both shoulders, and I told him: 'It has all been necessary, you will see. There is rhyme and reason to it all. A greater good has been served here'.
+
He brushed past me and sat down, heavily, as a man sits when his burdens are too great for him to bear. 'Sit down, Lupin', he growled.
+
This I did, though with more lightness of spirit (and, if it is not too crass to comment, of frame as well). I steepled my fingers, and waited for him to speak.
+
And speak he did. 'You'. He stabbed the air between us with one gnarled and calloused finger. 'You have arranged all of this, somehow. You amaze me no longer. Nothing is beyond you, and nothing beyond your reach. Why not simply tell me your object? We both know you will attain it, or obtain it, or both'.
+
I might have applauded his wordplay, but that I knew he would take offence. So I nodded instead, and responded: 'I have only one object in this moment, detective, and that is justice for the indignities you have suffered. Do I hear correctly, that you have been incarcerated in this very facility, as a common vagabond? As no better than my own lowly self, in fact?'
+
He scoffed. 'Not nearly so prized a prisoner as you, Lupin. You are the jewel of this collection, as you well know. But yes. They have used me, used me up and discarded me. They have taken from me my only earthly possessions, by which I mean my memories. The weeks I have spent here are a tremendous blank, an empty page. And I cannot be convinced it is not by your design that this came to pass'.
+
'Then I shall not waste time attempting to convince you!' I cried. 'Let us talk further of your memories, though. Are you quite sure they are taken? You have not merely misplaced them?'
+
The wily old hound examined me with his practiced eye, and when he spoke again, his tone was deadly calm and measured. 'What are you suggesting, Lupin?'
+
'Why, Ganimard, merely that you may have left the better part of yourself in that chamber. It so often happens that way, does it not? We forget ourselves abroad, for our hearts are left at home.'
+
The detective sighed. 'I have spent each waking hour in that bright and claustrophobic tomb, Lupin. If my memories were there, do you not think we might have found each other?'
+
'Still', I mused. 'It could not hurt to check?'"
+
+
+
Under (very heavily) armed guard, Ganimard was permitted to visit his own containment chamber in the presence of Lupin. The latter made a show, presumably for the cameras, of pretending to search the space, before declaring in theatrical tones that "Nothing obscures dark deeds like too much light." At that moment, Site-19 experienced a full facility blackout and the closure of all emergency doors.
+
+
+
It must have felt an eternity until light was restored to Site-19, though its return shed only confusion on the scenes of Lupin's latest crime. In my days atop the flower-shoppe I had acquainted myself with that most miraculous of modern inventions, the tele-vision; Dupin had procured for me a subscription to something called 'Netflix', and I had become quite a deft hand at remote-controlling. These skills I put to use examining each vignette in the larger drama, and this is what I saw:
+
In the chamber, Lupin and Ganimard locked in a physical altercation, though by this point all the prison's fantastical electronics suffered serious disruption and the recording devices failed and flared back to life with intermittence. When backup finally arrived at the chamber, two of Lupin's guards were found unconscious by the door. There had been three, before the blackout.
+
My friend Dupin was engaged in feverish application of his own newfound facility with technology, hammering away at a key-board and accessing the data he and Ganimard had collected on the master thief. I did not know his aim, but I was certain it was well-chosen, and certainly he required no aid from me in achieving that end.
+
I aided him best I could in other ways, having days ago resolved to play a part in this epic drama which my friend would no doubt come to appreciate. As he had so often done to me, I felt that I read his thoughts as an open book, first chapter to last, that I knew his mind entire on the subject of Arsène Lupin, that even his innermost desires were known to me.
+
And I had the power to realize them, after so long spent inadequate in the face of the Chevalier's genius.
+
Almost as an afterthought, I returned my tele-visuals to Ganimard's squalid cell. The guards had overcome both quarreling figures, and though their disguises came off readily enough, the mania incited in them was not so easily dispelled. Where all had before beheld Ganimard, now quite clearly stood a guard in Ganimard's clothing. Where once was Lupin, now was Ganimard clad in the thief's orange jumpsuit. Both were bewildered beyond immediate repair, a state only worsened when they realized what had transpired.
+
Through means unknown and wondrous, Arsène Lupin had again escaped.
+
+
+
We completely lost track of Poe during the containment breach, and I would soon have reason to believe it wasn't the first time that had happened. Pataphysics tells me the evidence — what little we've been able to recover — suggests his nature as an observer in the Dupin stories gave him something of an antimemetic glamour. Since he was never the protagonist, when we weren't actively considering him, he wasn't easy to perceive. I would have assumed the same was true of LeBlanc, but… well, we're almost there.
+
+
+
"It was such a simple matter to arrange my removal from the chamber that I will leave it to others to explain. Once free, I took every advantage of the fortuitous holes now opening and closing in the Site's once-formidable security. I raced to the server room, where I knew the electronic copies of each and every local file were kept, where indeed my own file could be found, and applied myself to the console I found there.
+
But the database was impregnable!
+
And so I applied myself more forcefully, and set the entire thing alight.
+
'If I cannot possess myself', I cried to the nearest camera, as its light flickered from red to green, 'I must deprive you of that right!' I contented myself with the removal of a trifle no larger than a man's thumb, then made my merry way to the next containment wing.
+
Wherein, to coin a phrase, I commenced a shopping spree. While the band of bullies in the Foundation's employ were well-armed and armoured, I regret to report that there were serious deficiencies in the matters of shielding the backs of their knees, and the speed with which they could track a moving target with their rifles. I left perhaps a dozen of them on the tiles as I beat my retreat, laden down with well-earned prizes many and various.
+
My bags and ambition thus filled, I looped back around to the 'humanoid' block, and engaged in an act of even more radical liberation. What a motley crew was soon assembled there! A vengeful bandit, an elegant scofflaw, a noble turned brigand. Could anything of value remain long beyond our clutches, once we had absconded with ourselves?
+
My final acts at Site-19 were to re-collect my personal effects—ah! I felt quite myself again!—and to leave a token of my esteem in the office of that fine servant of my hosts, Detective Roscoe.
+
Then away, as was my custom, to the night.
+
But not, this time, alone."
+
+
+
When Lupin and the other thieves were well and truly gone, the entire Site abruptly stopped going haywire. I dispatched every MTF on hand to bring them back, but I had no expectation of success. They were gone.
+
At least I could take comfort in two facts:
+1. Lupin hadn't seen fit to release the detectives, who we still might be able to make use of, and
+2. He had not achieved his goal, however badly he had compromised ours.
+
But we'd lost everything on SCP-8136. I was already mentally steeling myself to interview all the principals; that wouldn't end up being necessary, as somehow each narrator managed to get their account published, despite… well, you'll see below. Still figuring out why, and more importantly how, they accomplished that. Maybe they thought they were helping me. Maybe a little Lupin rubbed off on them. I hope not, in both cases.
+
At the time, however, I thought it had all been a colossal waste of time and resources. I thought we'd lost everything. In despair, I sought out Dupin for a debrief.
+
I'll let Poe's published account close out the file, since it offers the closest thing to closure anybody's getting on this matter.
+
For now.
+
+
+
I quietly rejoined my companion at the close of that great flurry of activity, and just in the nick of time, as a cohort of stone-faced thugs manifested at Dupin's office and escorted us back to that stark apartment wherein we first made acquaintance with Detective Roscoe.
+
That worthy arrived in due course, gaunt and troubled, and of course we both knew why.
+
"Dupin," Roscoe rasped. They had, it took no great leap of deduction to see, been shouting rather a lot. "He f_cked us."
+
But the Chevalier shook his head. "Hardly. I think it was a great success."
+
"A great success?" Roscoe repeated. Their eyes were glassy, their manner that of one who walks in dream. "Lupin destroyed the local server, stole a bunch of anomalies, set mother f_cking Robin Hood and company free, and escaped! Lupin destroyed his own file."
+
"Oh, hardly," Dupin scoffed. "Why would he want to do that? No, the file is quite safe."
+
Roscoe blinked, and awaited explanation.
+
Dupin acquired his customary mien of rational address, and recited as though from memory: "I knew, as Lupin knew, that his file had never been uploaded to the wider network. It existed only here, at Site-19. I recognized his object immediately when I saw that the course of surveillance interruptions would lead him to the server-room, and so I quickly copied the file and all associated data to the secure partition I shared with the redoubtable Ganimard."
+
Roscoe breathed: "You mean you have it? You have the file?"
+
Dupin smiled. "Indeed not. Upon contact with our partition, automatic safeguards immediately detected what you call 'pataphysical corruption' and proceeded to erase everything."
+
"Erase…?" Roscoe pinched the fat beneath their left arm. "Safeguards…? We had all that stuff turned off!"
+
"Indeed," Dupin agreed. "Lupin would have turned them back on. Ingenious. I lost far more by this gambit than I might have saved. We are quite bankrupt of documentation now."
+
The detective attempted, thrice, to begin his next sentence. The fourth attempt succeeded. "Then what the h_ll do you mean, the file is 'quite safe'? Safe in oblivion?"
+
"Did you perceive that Lupin removed a device from the server room before absconding?"
+
"Yes," Roscoe allowed, "but that can't have been it. You can't withdraw files from the server with a thumb drive, if that's what you're getting at."
+
"You can," Dupin corrected, "if those files can be found in the temporary cache."
+
Roscoe stared at him.
+
"As in the case," Dupin continued, "of some clever individual attempting—"
+
"To copy the file," Roscoe spat, "to a secure partition. You're telling me Lupin made you steal his file for him?"
+
"So it would seem," Dupin agreed.
+
Roscoe shook their head, then shook it again. "I don't…" They threw their arms in the air in a gesture of comical frustration. "Dupin," they roared. "Give it to me from the top, would you just?"
+
My friend leaned back, and closed his eyes. His voice became even more measured, even more deliberate. "You recall when Ganimard first approached the Foundation, 'LeBlanc' in toe? That was not Ganimard at all. That was Lupin."
+
"What?" Roscoe shouted. "We thought LeBlanc was Lupin!"
+
"Perhaps you did. But no, LeBlanc was Ganimard."
+
Roscoe spluttered incoherently.
+
"LeBlanc was Ganimard, hypnotized by Lupin at the outset into believing he was, in fact, LeBlanc. Did the thief, in Ganimard's guise, not tell you Lupin once traveled the world, acquiring all related arts of subterfuge, concealment, and perfidy? No doubt he mastered some ancient Buddhist rite of hypnosis in his voyages, and applied it thus to the credulous detective. Master of disguise, the thief presented himself to you as Ganimard, with the real Ganimard in guileless tow."
+
"But we tested them!" Roscoe cried. "We tested all four of you!"
+
"The hypnosis would have withstood such questioning, and as for Lupin? I trust he could have convinced you, face to face and unadorned, that he was your own mother should it have suited his aims."
+
I had never heard such unqualified praise from Dupin. My breast heaved with jealousy.
+
"Lupin used Ganimard's position as my partner to set the stage for his eventual escape, whilst also setting the terms of his own arrest —and no doubt familiarizing himself with the abilities and locations of his peers, with whom he has now made common cause. You recall 'Ganimard' was placed under suspicion of overstepping his bounds, and deprived of his memories? And then his companion promptly vanished? That was only smoke and mirrors. Lupin contrived the situation himself. He removed the detective's disguise, broke the spell on his mind, left him in that chamber to play his later part, and falsified the necessary documents to deflect your scrutiny."
+
"Our scrutiny," said Roscoe.
+
Dupin did not acknowledge the interruption. "No doubt at this time, Lupin secreted in that chamber the necessary materials to apply additional disguises, so that he might later effect a distraction with Ganimard and his escort. I imagine you will find a high level security key-card is missing as well. By such means would he gain the access required for his caper."
+
I raised an eyebrow at this, but my friend did not see.
+
"It now appeared that only LeBlanc, who had never existed, had escaped. Lupin then allowed himself to be caught, so that he could…" A flash of Dupin's ego asserted itself, ever so briefly, before submerging again in the ebb tide of his logical formula. "…so that he could meet me, take my measure, see what manner of man he was up against. So that he could enhance his own reputation, and no doubt satisfy his own vanity, by escaping from your clutches as himself. So that he could empty your growing gallery of rogues. So that, most importantly, he could take from you that which has never before been taken. An SCP database file, to wit, his own."
+
Something snapped in the detective, and they slapped the table angrily. "Just one thing doesn't make sense. All the countermeasures turned themselves off as Lupin required them to. That would have required a very complex computer program to manage. Are you saying he found a computer programmer accomplice, or that one of my own people was involved?"
+
"Neither," Dupin smiled. "Your countermeasures were disabled by my companion."
+
My veins filled with ice, but when that smile was turned on me, I confess the chill abated in an instant.
+
"What?" Roscoe regarded me with a mixture of incredulity and rage. "Poe? Poe helped Lupin escape?"
+
"But of course." Dupin shook off the last of his reverie, and sat forward. "I will not do him the disrespect of suggesting he was coerced by our late prisoner; more likely, he was convinced. He has seen my talents wasted, year by year. He has shared my days and nights, and brought me great comfort, but he knows the only cure to what ails me. Conundra, and the chase. I may not have expressed this to him, but he knew. It is a clever trick, we all agree, to read a man's mind. But to read his heart, well, that is the province of…"
+
And I swear to you, my friend Auguste Dupin blushed, and said no more.
+
Roscoe examined each of us by turns, seemingly at a loss for how to proceed. Finally, they asked: "How much of this did you know beforehand?"
+
"Oh," Dupin considered. "The main of it. Very nearly all."
+
"And you ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN?" the detective thundered, rising to their feet so swiftly that their chair was flung aside.
+
"But of course." Dupin regarded his colleague calmly, uncowed by the threatening gesture. "I agreed to help you solve M. Lupin's crimes, detective. I never agreed to prevent them."
+
A silence settled over us for what felt a small eternity.
+
Finally, Roscoe spoke again. "I'm going to put you both in a cell, and I'm going to lock the door, and I'm going to put in your file —a file we're going to copy to every single network we've got, relevant or not —that it's not to be opened until you're both too old and grey to remember your own names."
+
I had not the time to consider the gravity of this menace before Dupin laughed it away. "Come now, Roscoe. You shall do nothing of the sort. This was the best of all possible outcomes, and deep down inside you know it, or you are no spiritual descendant of my own."
+
The detective clamped their jaw shut, and ground their teeth in impotent fury.
+
"You're right, Roscoe," said I. "That is precisely what he intended."
+
Dupin raised a brow in my direction.
+
"By the set of their jaw and the calculating look in their eyes," I recited, employing my best face for poker, "I see the detective has surmised the truth. They wish to continue their tirade, but they know we have learned far more about the aims and capabilities of Arsène Lupin in escape than we could ever have learned in captivity. They know that you have both played them for a fool, and immeasurably advanced their project. And so they are deadlocked with themself."
+
Dupin placed a hand on my shoulder, and squeezed. "That is not the whole of it, my dear friend, but you have seen the outline, and that is something veiled from the sight of most. I knew from the start my investment in you would pay dividends."
+
Roscoe finally sat down, and we both turned to face them again. "What," they grumbled, "are we going to do now?"
+
Dupin rose.
+
"We are going to move on from this preface, detective, having gleaned all of value that is there. We are going to commune and make common cause with my counterparts in bonds, who are no doubt as eager as I to see this alarming business resolved. And when the tale of Arsène Lupin's master plan unfolds, we shall be ready to fold it back up."
+
"With him inside," I added.
+
"Quite so," smiled Dupin. "His demonstrations of hypnotism were most instructive, but I am no slouch in the traditions of the Far East, myself, and we do have an asset in that fellow Zenigata. I should like it very much if we could educate M. Lupin on the finer points of origami."
Special Containment Procedures: Site 827 has been established at the location of SCP-827's discovery. For the purposes of the Foundation, SCP-827 has been outfitted with a specialized cell reactor that allows for introduction of samples and removal of their products. Personnel actively interacting with SCP-827 are to wear full Level-C or higher Hazmat gear.
+
Samples introduced into SCP-827 require approval of project director. Samples from only one individual at a time are to be introduced to ensure there is no genetic cross-contamination. All samples are to be screened for genetic chimerism. In the event that more than one distinct genetic sample is introduced to SCP-827, the sample is to be removed using procedure 827-Hari and incinerated.
+
Tissue from the central nervous system is not to be used in SCP-827 tests following Incident 827-██.
+
Description: SCP-827 is a semi-solid mass of biologically active human stem cells. SCP-827 is capable of self-renewal and is totipotent, with cells replacing themselves at a rate of approximately 200,000 cycles of mitosis per day, with roughly the same amount dying off per day; at time of writing, SCP-827's mass is currently 353kg, and remains stable.
+
When a sample of human organ tissue is introduced to SCP-827's mass, it is broken down and assimilated into the mass using a unique enzyme. Following this, SCP-827's cells will enter an active state and will begin to generate copies of the organs from which the tissue originated. These organs, designated SCP-827-A, differ from their original purpose in drastic ways; introduction of muscular tissue, for example, has resulted in full muscular systems developing and attempting to escape SCP-827, while introduction of a human jaw has resulted in what was termed a "broken-tooth tree", a plant-like structure with a trunk of muscular tissue with branches made from malformed jaws. Assuming that SCP-827-A instances are remaining and still in contact after a period of approximately 2-3 days, the instances will be digested and re-assimilated into SCP-827's mass.
+
SCP-827 is only capable of assimilating human tissues. Attempts to introduce non-human tissues, including hair from lower primates and bone samples of extinct humanoids, has resulted in a deterioration of health in SCP-827. Furthermore, all liquid samples are rejected by SCP-827.
+
Addendum: Sample Log
+
Sample: Part of a human liver, donated by Dr. Ming.
+Note: Dr. Ming was suffering from liver failure, and due to a rare blood type, donated on the condition that the resultant organ be transplanted back into him.
+Result: After 12 hours, SCP-827 produced one apparently healthy human liver matching Dr. Ming's blood type. Transplant was successful; however, the SCP-827-A instance was incapable of producing bile or processing alcohol. Instead, it acted similar to a liver found in a human fetus, producing red blood cells. Dr. Ming developed primary polycythemia, and eventually died due to his condition.
+
Sample: One pelvis and two femurs.
+Result: 7 hours after introduction, the surface of SCP-827 calcified entirely. Researchers present broke through the calcium shell, exposing the resultant SCP-827-A instance to the air. SCP-827-A instance resembled a human pelvis, but with a single joint where the coccyx would be located, with a single leg growing out of it. The instance had developed musculature due to improper cleaning procedures. Approximately 19 minutes after exposure, the instance was broken down by SCP-827.
+
Sample: One male human head, with all tissue intact. Donor was a civilian, decapitated in an industrial accident.
+Result: Sample was digested in 2 hours. 36 hours later, resultant SCP-827-A instance was fully formed; subject was humanoid in appearance, but severely malformed. Skull had been flattened out in a mushroom-like shape to account for a brain that had been unfolded and spread flat. Furthermore, the intestines of the SCP-827-A instance had unraveled, but the spinal column was too weak to support it and collapsed when removed from SCP-827, killing the instance. Before removal, the instance wrote the letter "G" several times in an attempt to communicate.
+
Sample: Two sets of bones taken from human hands, from two different donors
+Result: A vaguely serpentine instance of SCP-827-A was created, assembled entirely from the various bones found in the human hand. The instance was capable of independent locomotion, and began growing musculature and skin resembling that of a human arm. The instance escaped SCP-827 and was capable of surviving for six days despite the lack of any digestive or respiratory system before being neutralized by a security agent.
+
Sample: One human brain.
+Result: After 18 hours, SCP-827 produced a reconstruction of a nervous system, but anomalous in construction; the brain was triple-lobed, and appeared to be built for a hexapodal humanoid, with four arms and two legs. Appeared to be self-sustaining within SCP-827. Upon removal from SCP-827, the instance expired.
+
Addendum: Recovery Log:
+
SCP-827 was recovered at the lab of one Dr. George Farrow in [REDACTED], Idaho, USA. Dr. Farrow had disappeared after being diagnosed with malignant pancreatic and breast cancers, and was expected to live less than six months. According to excerpts from Dr. Farrow's personal notes, he was intending to rejuvenate his organs with self-administered stem cell therapy. It is unknown if SCP-827 was the result of that therapy, or the method Dr. Farrow used.
+
The following are excerpts of notes taken by Dr. Farrow shortly before his disappearance.
+
+
The cancer's not going away; the therapy should be working! Instead, there are strange lumps all over my skin, but the doctor says they're not tumors; they're not even melanomas or moles. They're just little humps of flesh. I tried lancing them like a boil, but the one on my shoulder ate the needle; it broke off within the damn thing. Will attempt excision soon.
+
All samples have been excised; they seem to be the same consistency as the soup1. I placed them in a petri dish, and they conglomerated into one mass. They're completely undifferentiated now, despite being taken from all over my body. I decided to try putting a bit of hair I had saved into it, and it digested it quicker than anything I'd ever seen. I've locked it in the cell incubator for the time being.
+
I checked on the sample again. It had grown hair all over itself, and it was… I incinerated the damn thing. Now I have even more lumps on my skin; it's like they grow overnight. Insulin levels seem to be stabilizing, at any rate. Maybe the cancer's finally going away?
+
+
+
I collapsed today, from- I don't believe I'm saying this- insulin shock. The doctors said that it was like the entire pancreas just reset itself and released a massive amount of the stuff. I'm writing this from the hospital bed, and I feel fine; the screening said that the cancer was GONE. Meanwhile, they found even more of those damn lumps on my skin; the lab tecs are saying they're some kind of stem cell. That explains the hair thing, I guess.
+
Will stop therapy as soon as I get back home.
+
+
+
I started incinerating the soup today. About 50% of the cells are gone, but they're replacing themselves relatively fast. Shouldn't be a problem.
+
I just hit myself in the throat by accident. Hurt my thyroid. Only problem is, I had my thyroid removed back in 1992. What's more, it feels swollen. What's going on?
+
+
+
More of the lumps, and the soup won't stop growing. Dammit dammit dammit. I've just started cutting them off and throwing them into the soup so it's easier to get rid of all at once. I'm thinking of saving a small sample for later analasysanalayss analysis
+
+
+
My entire arm is one giant, soupy lump. And it's rotting. Too many waste products. I gotta agitate it somehow. I tried the egg beater, and that seems to be working well. For now.
+
+
+
The entire left side of my body is stem cells. They're useless, but I seem to have full brain function. Got to agitate it constantly, maybe I should just stick it all in that big cell reactor.
+
I tried cutting off my arm, or what's left of it. It ate the knife. I can feel it cutting through a second esophagus.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8668 is contained within a standard domestic animal enclosure at Site-58. SCP-8668 must be fed twice a day and walked once a week in accordance to its standard care schedule. Any personnel in charge of walking SCP-8668 are to carry a biohazard containment bag with them at all times during the walk.
+
Should SCP-8668 vomit at any time within or outside of containment, the contents should be placed in a biohazard containment bag and brought to Site-58's Zoological Studies Department for further review alongside a member of the Foundation's legal team.
+
Description: SCP-8668 is a Golden Retriever of indeterminate age. While SCP-8668's specific age is unknown, firsthand accounts of the anomaly date back to as early as 1825. Physically, SCP-8668 is comparable to an average Golden Retriever of between 10-11 years of age.
+
Whenever SCP-8668 vomits, it produces a document containing legal mandates. These texts are often poorly constructed, containing numerous grammatical errors. While the "laws" presented in these texts are often nonsensical in nature, the text itself contains clear action plans for the enforcement of the law with few, if any, loopholes that could be exploited by malicious actors.
+
Addendum 8668.1: Discovery
+
SCP-8668 was originally discovered in the town of Rayfield, Wisconsin1 on August 31st, 1989, where it had been serving as the mayor since 1977. The town came to Foundation attention following the televised broadcast of the following advertisement for SCP-8668's reelection campaign.
+
+
<Begin Video>
+
Footage opens with SCP-8668 sitting in a field. A gust of wind lightly tousles its fur.
+
Voiceover: This November, your vote couldn't be clearer.
+
The video cuts to SCP-8668 running down a sidewalk chasing a squirrel.
+
Voiceover: Since the early days of our town, Old Soggy has been there for us. She's stood by us through our hardest times, and guided us to the prosperity we enjoy today.
+
Footage cuts to a clip of SCP-8668 and a baby. SCP-8668 licks the top of its head. The baby giggles.
+
Voiceover: There for us as early as our town founding in 1825, Old Soggy has never once misled us. Her town charter gave us Rayfield, and her legal know-how has made it into the home we know and love to this day.
+
The video cuts to SCP-8668 sitting with its paw resting atop a Bible.
+
Voiceover: Josephine Allens, however, would disrespect that legacy. She would remove Old Soggy from the legislature, and subject us to laws and regulations regurgitated by outsiders.
+
Footage cuts to a black and white image of Josephine Allens, SCP-8668's electoral opposition, in the process of leashing a dog. It then cuts back to an image of SCP-8668 sitting in front of an American Flag.
+
Voiceover: This November, put your faith in a tried and true voice. Put your faith in someone who believes in this community. Put your faith in Old Soggy. She's got the law in her.
+
Video cuts to footage of SCP-8668 vomiting up a document. When it finishes, it looks to the camera and barks. The document's text reads "Vote for Old Soggy."
+
Voiceover: Old Soggy, man's best friend. Paid for by the council to re-elect Old Soggy.
+
Footage finishes with an image of SCP-8668 facing towards the camera.
+
<End Video.>
+
+
+
Final shot from video, digitally enhanced.
+
+
+
+
Following this broadcast, Foundation agents were sent to Rayfield to recover SCP-8668. It was discovered in the town's mayoral office in the middle of drafting a new bill, allowing agents to confirm its anomalous nature. It was taken into containment on August 14th, 1989, and the citizens of Rayfield, Wisconsin were amnescized.
+
Addendum 8668.2: Abbreviated list of laws
+
Below is an abbreviated list of laws and legal mandates produced by SCP-8668 prior to and following Foundation containment.
+
+
+
Year
+
Title
+
Description
+
+
+
1825
+
Small Town Build It
+
First recorded document produced by SCP-8668. Aside from grammatical oddities, review shows it is one of the most legally well constructed town charters in history. This charter would undergo exactly 1 revision in the following years.
+
+
+
1843
+
Many Write Good Book OK Act
+
Required all town residents to write and contribute at least one book to the town's library every 3 years.
+
+
+
1856
+
Pennies Go Away Now Mandate
+
Demanded that the town melt down all pennies and use the resulting metal to craft pipes, replacing the plumbing that existed in their homes at the time. The law mandated that this be completed no later than 18572 Mandate was completed on schedule, and the town saw a decline in bacterial infections in the following years.
+
+
+
1890
+
Many Frogs Now Act
+
Required all residents carry a toad3 in their coat pocket at all times. Town experienced a notable decline in mosquito-born illnesses following this law's implementation.
+
+
+
1907
+
Many Cats Yes Act
+
Asks all residents to adopt at least 1 cat. Document notably contains heavy swearing throughout, specifically when referring to cats. In the years following this mandate, the rat population of Rayfield experienced a sharp decline.
+
+
+
1910
+
Yucky Wash Hands Mandate
+
Required all residents to wash their hands with soap and water before meals and after using the restroom. It is believed that this increased attentiveness to health resulted in the town reporting a notably low rate of infection during the Great Influenza epidemic of 1918.
+
+
+
1956
+
Teach Good Now Act
+
Law desegregates both schools in town, and sets forth a curriculum based in what were then modern educational practices.
+
+
+
1970
+
Small Town Build It Part 2
+
Only law designed specifically to make changes to the town charter. Only notable change is the inclusion of language that specifically does not prohibit dogs from holding office.
+
+
+
Following SCP-8668's containment in 1989, it continued to produce new legal documents. These were not forwarded to the town of Rayfield.
+
+
+
Year
+
Title
+
Description
+
+
+
1990
+
Remove Yucky Strings From House Mandate
+
First law produced following SCP-8668's containment. Law demands the removal of asbestos from all homes in Rayfield. While asbestos received a partial ban in 1989 on the national level, this law contained more complex bans that would not see similar national legislation until 2024.
+
+
+
1991
+
Put Dog Back Mandate
+
First law directly addressing the Foundation. Law requests that the Foundation return SCP-8668 to Rayfield. Following review by the Foundation legal team, a minor loophole was discovered that allowed for the continued containment of SCP-8668.
+
+
+
1993
+
Make House Better Act
+
Requires all homes in Rayfield undergo flame-treatment, and requires that home insulation be replaced with cellulose insulation that has undergone borate fireproofing.
+
+
+
1994
+
Put Dog Back NOW Mandate
+
A rewrite of the 1991 "Put Dog Back Mandate" that removes the previously discovered legal loophole. While the Foundation legal team was unable to identify new loopholes that would allow the continued containment of SCP-8668, the Foundation has chosen not to comply with the mandate.
+
+
+
1994
+
Dig Big Hole Act
+
Requires residents to dig a large trench that completely surrounds the town, excluding major highways and roads, that has a minimum width equal to the tallest tree within 50 feet plus one foot.
+
+
+
1994
+
Good Girl Go Home Please Please Please Mandate
+
Outlines a specific plan for the Foundation to return SCP-8668 to Rayfield, Wisconsin in a way that would allow minimal damage to the veil. Denied, as it would still permit the town to be aware of SCP-8668
+
+
+
1994
+
Wet Plants Send Please Mandate
+
Outlines a new irrigation plan for Rayfield designed to help combat drought weather alongside text requesting the Foundation send the mandate to the town. Request was denied.
+
+
+
Addendum 8668.3: Incident Report
+
On July 16th, 1994, SCP-8668 became unresponsive. A health examination revealed no abnormalities, and that it was otherwise alive and healthy. Foundation investigation revealed that the change in SCP-8668's behavior coincided with the destruction of approximately 60% of the town of Rayfield, Wisconsin. Investigations revealed that the town had largely been destroyed in an uncontrolled wildfire sparked by drought conditions.
+
After three weeks, SCP-8668 was caught on cameras rising to its feet and vomiting out another document. The document's contents have been recorded below.
+
+
+
Year
+
Title
+
Description
+
+
+
1994
+
Dog Stay In Box
+
Overturns the 1994 "Put Dog Back NOW Mandate", allowing the Foundation to contain SCP-8668 in perpetuity.
His Majesty's Foundation for the Secure Containment of the Paranormal
+
+
+
+
+BY DECREE OF HIS ROYAL MAJESTY KING GEORGE AND THE FOUNDATION HE HAS ENTRUSTED WITH HIS MISSION, THIS DOCUMENT AND ITS CONTENTS ARE TO BE HELD IN SECRECY, AND USED TO PROTECT AND FURTHER THE INTERESTS OF MANKIND.
+
GOD SAVE THE KING
+
+
+
+
THE COLOUR PARADIGMS
+
+
+
+Designation: SCP-8901
+
Paranormal Event: The anomaly in question is an unknown number of shifts in the Paradigm of Colour throughout history. Past events have resulted in effects ranging from the addition of new colours to a complete overhaul of how the visible spectrum is perceived.
+
Threat Posed: Global (Keter under the Foundation System)
+
Files: In preparation for the imminent attack on the current Colour Paradigm, the Foundation has tasked the last vestiges of its precursors to fulfil their remaining purpose as archives of prior records and search for any information that might help understand or combat the threat. These findings are presented on the following pages. The first of these will be a report by the Estate Noir, followed by ones of the American Secure Containment Initiative, the Abnormality Institute, the Commission on Unusual Cargo, and finishing with a report by this Majesty's Foundation.
+
+
+
+
+
Report on the Dragonslayer Files as pertaining to Changes in Colour
+
as written by Head Archivist Jean-Christophe Boullion
+
+
+
The following file corresponds to the founding of the state that would later evolve into the État Noir circa 1130 AD.
+
Few documents still exist from that time, this one having been received by the Order of Dragonslayers.
+
The event alluded to is the introduction of the colour Blue.
+
The document is an excerpt of The Adventures of Dragonslayer Sir Reinald on his quest to slay the Dragon Borgarhjört as described by his colleague Sir Kennard after Reinald's death.
+
The honourable and battle worn Sir Reinald is accompanied on this part of the journey by two companions.
+
Faramund the Schriftsteller, a kind of word-wizard to my knowledge, though this one focused on colour instead. Had at the time of the story just recently finished his apprenticeship.
+
Ingwenyeth the Fae. As far as I can tell, this is a human subspecies with more pointed ears and intangible butterfly wings, normally at home in a mythic city called "Esterberg", which Ingwneyeth fled from to experience the human world.
+
This excerpt is situated after the group fled from Paris and its counterpart, having acquired the sword Oncosomnia, along the way back to Borgarhjört's Mountain. It was translated from the original French.
+
+
In the hunt for Saint-Denis Blue, the three had no choice but to once again cross the border to the more mystical Shadow France though further away from the prying eyes of the Shadow King in his capital. Still, our heroes did well in staying away from any town or city, keeping to the many Inns or the occasional merchant, lost on this shadow side. It was in a merchant not quite so lost, named Brandwen, they found a lead.
+
"And you think this 'Blue' will tame the dragon?" asked Brandwen.
+
"It should." Faramund was talking to him while the less-convinced Sir Reinald was keeping his eye on the merchant. Ingwenyeth was all the while enamoured by the merchant's more exotic vegetables.
+
"Far be it from me to complain. Disaster would spell for us all should Borgarhjört's breath reach the King's own grasping hand of greed. But is such a creature not better slain."
+
At this, Sir Reinald could not help but smile. "Your concerns are mine." He put his hand on Faramunds shoulder, who was annoyed at the act. "But you should see what emotion my friend brings out from a simple coloured cloth. We shall try at peace first. Be assured that the sword comes second."
+
Brandwen nodded at that, his brow furrowed. "What do you know about this 'Blue' then?"
+
+
+
The first blue at the Saint Denis Basilica
+
+
+
Faramund released himself from his companions shoulder grip to explain. "A few years ago the Abbe Suger built the Saint Denis Basilica with a stained glass that reflects the divine colour of Heaven."
+
"Saint-Denis Blue?"
+
Faramund nodded. The fascination shone from his eyes. "The colour is saturated with the Holy Spirit. One look at it reveals the sky as it really is."
+
"That's all well and good." Brandwen was hesitant. "I don't deal with Churches in these lands, I'm afraid."
+
Faramund shook his head. "I have heard of plans to replicate the glass in other churches. But for now, it is a mystical colour. It would have found its way into this realm be it as a rock of lapis lazuli or a plant of dyer's woad."
+
"I have not heard of it," answered Brandwen, his brow still furrowed.
+
Sir Reinald stepped forward, hand on his chest. "Yet you still have a lead for us. I can assure you that we will prevail against all evil which will cross our path."
+
Faramund seemed annoyed at the gesture.
+
Brandwen sighed. "All right. There is a bridge with an ogre under it, a day west from here. It has slain any travellers trying to cross and amassed quite a treasure hoard under it. Even from the Golden Horde and the Nightwatch has it stolen. Perhaps you will find your wonder-colour there."
+
"An ogre?" Faramund turned to Sir Reinald. "Have you heard of such a thing?"
+
"I have not," said the Dragonslayer. "It will bleed like any other creature."
+
Faramund groaned. "And you, Ingwenyeth?"
+
That startled the Fae, though she still would not take her eyes off the vegetable. "I beg thy pardon, Schriftsteller. This oddish apple hath trapped mine attention."
+
"An ogre."
+
"A name of familiar taste, though I never encountered such. Pray tell, what name doth this fruit possess?" Ingwenyeth looked up.
+
This irritated the knight. "That's just a potato. In what way familiar?"
+
"Nothing much. The shape of a story." The answer came disinterested. "A game of death and wits awaits, befitting my birthplace Esterberg."
+
"You know of the potato, good sir?" asked the merchant of Sir Reinald.
+
"My Order has partaken in this vegetable from far away from time to time." The Dragonslayer waved the question off. " There is nothing special about it."
+
"Then thine Order dines in gold so often to think of it as water," countered Ingwenyeth.
+
"You will be disappointed if that is your expectation of potatoes."
+
"The decision lies in the hands of those who have not suffered the curse of the new made mundane." Ingwenyeth smiled. "Make haste. Let us purchase a few and be on our way to face the foe on the bridge."
+
It took them less than a day in total to arrive at a hill from which they could see the ogre's bridge. While the monster itself escaped their eye a beautiful rainbow welcomed them all into the clearing. A golden gate promising treasure with a drop of blood fallen on top intermixing with the yellow and flowing across the bow as much as it could.
+
Yet only Faramund was to spot the third part of the arrangement. A divine blue being as one with the sky carrying the golden gate in tranquillity less it would fall and break the clearing.
+
+
"I cannot fathom a beast living under this rainbow and choosing to kill," said Sir Reinald.
+
"It doesn't yet see the rainbow in full, I think," said Faramund. "If it is in possession of the Saint-Denis Blue we must merely reveal Heaven to it."
+
"Of its treasure, we can be certain." Ingwenyeth perked up from a flower she was inspecting. "Dost the tug of fate not make itself known to thyself? A folly must be passed for a reward of equal proportion."
+
"What if the ogre has already looked at the Blue?" asked Sir Reinald. "To my understanding, it would no longer be effective."
+
Faramund nodded reluctantly as Ingwenyeth turned to him. "This foe is fought in the fashions of old. This battlefield is not for thee, Word-painter."
+
So it was decided that Sir Reinald and Ingwenyeth would face the ogre. The knight armed with the holy sword Oncosomnia, the fae with nothing but her wits.
+
The two reached the bridge without issue. The beast was fast asleep. Navigating the space under the bridge without so much as a sound was of no issue to the two. Unfortunately, the hoard itself would prove not quite so adept at staying silent.
+
They searched the treasure with utmost caution as the ogre's snoring reverberated through the bridge.
+
Finally, Sir Reinald found what they were looking for between some axe and a small black brick attached to a long rod of steel. It was a stone of blue Lapis Lazuli, hiding its heavenly Saint-Denis Blue behind a layer of cloth.
+
The Dragonslayer and the Fae nodded to each other. Ever so slowly the Knight began pulling on the rock. He was partway through when another snore reverberated through the hoard. As the treasure trembled, coins slipped into the small hole opened up by the knight's pull. At the rattle of the coins the ogre opened its eyes. Just a moment later it was on its feet and halfway to the Dragonslayer.
+
Sir Reinald pulled the cloth from the stone, the heavenly blue shining into the giant's eyes.
+
The ogre continued its rampage unimpeded, stopping shortly before the knight.
+
Translators note: what follows was written as rhyme in the original text. I have done my best to keep the essence of the rhyme as well as the characteristics of the dialogue. Given that this encounter involved both a Fae and some kind of bridge ogre, it is not unlikely that the actual encounter, should there have been one, was also spoken entirely in this manner.
+
+
"Such noise you make, did you come here for my hoard?"
+"Would thou not welcome thy guests? We're the friendly sort."
+as Ingwenyeth answers, the beast grabs the knight.
+"I could offer you dinner by candlelight."
+
"A name will do." — "They call me Blind."
+"Thou will not tell a single lie to my kind."
+
"You are what you eat, and I will eat you.
+So tell me what is the name I will chew?"
+The knight with one motion to his mouth, he threw.
+
In return, Sir Reinald drew his holy sword,
+The ogre dodged Oncosomnia without saying a word.
+
"I'm the blue-stone-stealer" calls the Fae to draw his attention.
+"A liar you are, now you will help my digestion."
+"It is the rule of my people to condone only on Three."
+"I have more than one dinner. That's fine by me."
+
The ogre turns back to the food of his choosing,
+Reinald cannot keep up and is slowly losing!
+
"The sky is blue!" The Fae was hurrying.
+"Not for you," The ogre said, eyes narrowing.
+"One more lie, little butterfly."
+
Reinald used the distraction and ran to the hoard,
+Once arrived, he drew… an axe, not a sword?
+
The ogre ran to him, the stone still in hand,
+Reinald cut it. The axe punched into grassland.
+
"I survive!" came a shout. "Is this now true?"
+The ogre considered. "No, I'll eat you."
+
As the ogre gave chase, the knight saw the victory.
+For in his hands lay lapis lazuli.
+
+
As Sir Reinald retreated to a hidden cave with Faramund, Ingwenyeth was still in pursuit. It would be a full week before either of them would see her again.
+
"I have found what we were looking for." The knight gave him the stone fragment. Faramund carefully took the shard, inspecting it. "Did it have the intended effect?"
+
"On me, certainly. It strengthened my focus." Sir Reinald looked at the sky, now revealed to him as well in its heavenly blue. "But the ogre was unimpeded by it."
+
"The revelation of Heaven is only temporary in effect," murmured Faramund. "It won't be long before you think Heaven has always been this way. Like the potato Ingwenyeth was so enamoured by. It doesn't take long to get used to the new." He put the stone away. "Besides I do not imagine you tried to reason with the ogre."
+
"No," Reinald acknowledged. "I will admit that trying to steal from it had turned the creature against us from the beginning."
+
"Then that is something we will have to change, going forward," decided Faramund. "I'll be joining you next time, no matter the danger."
+
"I don't think you could have changed much. This was a creature ruled by its wims." Sir Reinald thought for a moment. "It is not dissimilar to a dragon in this. We best keep in mind that while creatures so corrupted by their own evil could never be happy, they are still in a place of their choosing. I could sooner see a mountain moved than Borgarhjört abandoning his hoard."
+
"We may not be able to move a mountain," said Faramunt. "but a change in Heaven sounds just as good for me."
+
+
While little information is present here that would help stop the current Paradigm Shift, more details about the inner workings of the different shifts are revealed through this document. The current shift's primary vector of spread is the photograph. On the other hand, the Paradigm introduced in this document seems to have mainly spread via the usage of the colour in stained glass. The view of the Saint Denis Basilica caught on; the usage of the colour blue increased throughout Europe.
+
The repeated assertion that the exposed would soon forget the sky was ever a different colour is also of note. Should this hold true for the new Paradigm it may at the very least be easy to calm the infected after a brief period of unrest.
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CASE SERIAL:
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SCP-4500-D-05
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DATE:
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20TH MARCH, 1935
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FILE:
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The document was discovered by ASCI personnel as part of initial SCP-4500 exploration. Due to the ongoing transition from precursor organizations to the Foundation proper this file exists both in the ASCI as well as the Foundation archive under the same file number. It is suspected that the file was written between 60 and 50 BC and used the properties of the extradimensional space to be preserved until now.
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NOTES:
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The document was part of a larger stack of documents labelled as "Trapped in the past, I must get stronger to stop time-travellers throughout the Roman world", but all other files are classified.
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I could not request declassification for this matter as the name of the clearance seems to be classified as well.
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The file seems to imply an altogether different composition of colour than we are used to today, as well as the repeated temporary removal of the colour purple throughout the last stretches of the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire.
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All other context has been classified from ASCI and all Foundation Departments I was able to speak to, making the contents of it unverifiable.
+
What follows is a transcript of the original text which was notably composed in modern English.
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Status Report.
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All preparations for the first small-scale Purple Reversal Event have been completed. Resistance is to be expected in accepted parayeah, I still won't do this.
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The urge was a bit stronger this time, but I'm stronger so too bad.
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Unfortunately, there isn't much else I can talk about then what you want to know. The city I had to go to, or municipium if you need to have it forced out of me, wasn't all that special. Not that I'd have expected more.
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If Rome sucked then why should its lessers not?
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I arrived like a week early and was actually stupid enough to fuss about every little thing. It would have been smarter to not prepare at all, I think, but I was pretty nervous about the arrival. And I guess excited.
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I don't have the feeling that I need to write about every little thing of prep here, so I won't. It was mostly illusions, but I also prepared some magic tricks in areas I'm not so specialized in.
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Though I put most of my work into my light-catcher spell. Really wanted to catch the new colour the moment it appeared. Sure I have [Perfect Recall] and all, but that would have paled in comparison to actually having my colour again to play around with. Not this wan facsimile of a spectrum I have to deal with every day.
+
The day came and the four mayors, the quattuorviri, of the city, the municipium I don't care, decreed that no dye of Tyrian Purple would be allowed in the ci municipium. You wouldn't have noticed that this changed anything unless you looked at the person dressed in purple, not Tyrian though, who had just appeared moments before and rapidly lost all of that colour as the decree took hold.
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Dido wearing the regal Tyrian Purple. Note the primitive rainbow in the background.
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What an utter disappointment.
+
This had been my first chance to see real colour ever since I was transported into this time. And what was it? A soldier drenched entirely in some purple mud. With him, he had a purple gas mask, a purple backpack and a purple gun. Not an ounce of the many other beautiful colours of the modern world. Just. Purple.
+
And not even that you let me catch, because as soon as he manifested my Light Catcher spell was discarded and my body focused entirely on Elimination.
+
Even that encounter with the modern ended way too quickly. I had lifted far too many combat restrictions on myself for the hostile to stand any chance.
+
My body still left him in speaking condition after the encounter.
+
He told me that the Causality i, the name of their whole group or whatever, had a safehouse in this time period, if I ever had any 'doubts'.
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It's impossible for me to think about what those doubts could be over, but thanks I guess.
+
He also told me another person arrived with him, which was much more important for my body. After that, he prayed to the Roman gods. I think that's pretty weird. These aren't our gods after all.
+
The fact that another hostile was out there gave me a bit of hope after the disappointment that was the first. It also meant I wouldn't have to deal with cleanup because a rogue time traveller is much more important.
+
The first hostile was surprisingly detailed about where his companion went. There was no way I could catch up to him at this point. Good.
+
Restriction lifted: Regional Teleport
+
I have no idea why you made all magic restrictions so painful. If it's combat or knowledge it's just an information update, but each time I unlock more thaumaturgy it's like a rolling pin flattens my whole brain and then pressed back into a new shape. If your goal is to make me lift as few magic restrictions as possible then too bad. I'll open restrictions any chance I get.
+
This one increased my magic overall, along with giving me the knowledge of a teleport spell.
+
I used it to get out of the municipium and went back to the oh-so-beautiful Rome.
+
Somewhat fittingly it was raining when I arrived. My destination was the Temple of Apollo Medicus, which currently stood next to a mediocre rainbow.
+
Not even those looked correct in this time period. The world would not reveal more than 3 colours in the rainbow, lacking the spectrum to show its full glory. Not that anyone but me and the other time traveller could appreciate a full rainbow. For the people here it would be no more than a sign of the goddess Iris, unaware of the beautiful system of raindrops and light reflection that lets a rainbow shine.
+
There was one good thing about all of this. I had wanted to visit the temple of Apollo for a long time, but something else seemed more important whenever I wanted to go.
+
Was the escaped time traveller there for a similar reason? No clue.
+
The temple itself would be impressive for their standards, but I couldn't care less.
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Remains of the temple
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I went in weaponized with an illusion to hide me behind a fabricated identity. I wasn't the only one using an illusion, however. The whole temple seemed to be under one. I tried to confuse it with a simple trick of light. The affected part of the illusion unravelled for a moment before reasserting itself. A god's work, most likely.
+
The Romans had a nasty habit of classifying magic into the mortal low magic, Goetia, and the divine high magic, Goetia. This would fall under the latter. They could call it what they wanted, even the high magic was primitive.
+
To get the colour needed for their illusions they had to source it directly from nearby elements. Fire for red and vines for green. But I know that all colours are simply part of white light. Breaking it apart with thaumaturgy and using the backlash to shape the remaining colours is trivial, so my illusions are superior to anything produced in this day.
+
I would simply project my illusions throughout the temple, pretending to follow the hidden outline of the temple, while I would occasionally disturb the illusion to catch a glimpse of the temple underneath the veil.
+
One of the things this temple was hiding for their more esteemed guests was a Haruspex, an oracle. An illusion close to the real me approached her as tradition demanded while I looked for the remaining hostile. He had to be somewhere in the temple.
+
The Haruspex took the sheep, oh yeah I stole a sheep for this, and someone slaughtered it for her. I prodded every inch of the illusion to see where the hostile was hiding as I asked my first question:
+
"What is the Nightwatch?"
+
The Haruspex didn't react to the unusually high voice of the man she saw, though her hands trembled as she felt the liver of the sheep up and down until she arrived at a missing chunk in it. She frowned as she answered:
+
"Nightwatch is hidden from the gods."
+
Typical. At the same time, I finally caught a glimpse of an out-of-place man haggling over some 12-sided die through the non-existent wall. I moved closer to it, not caring much that my voice wouldn't come from my original position.
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"How can I make the gods take notice of my plight?"
+
I threw a more normal question in, but it didn't seem to have worked. She gave off a weak smile as she presumably did something with the liver, while I was prodding the fake wall again. The hostile wasn't there anymore.
+
"You're also hidden. You must seek the old heart of the twelve to get their full attention." Pause. "I- I'm sorry, that's all I have."
+
I don't know why she apologized. It's not like the Roman pantheon would have any power to alleviate what you did to me. My final question I whispered into the Haruspex ears.
+
"Is he threatening you?"
+
I felt a sword at my throat, something sabrelike, not from here, and with it a voice.
+
"No, but you are."
+
The walls shifted and the Haruspex ran away. I locked eyes with the hostile. At first glance, he looked like a normal soldier, but underneath the Roman armour, he wore a deel made of silk. Mongolian clothing and far from this era. Affiliated to the 'Golden Horde' then.
+
He was barely hiding who he was. Even the armour looked slightly off if you looked close enough. Most importantly the colour was different! Not by much, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.
+
Yet even that you would never let me keep.
+
It seemed he caught how I was putting his colours into memory because he tried to talk it out at first. I had a hard time understanding him because his Latin was very weird. He told me that I had eyes just like them. I think he meant you. That he bet I couldn't appreciate a rainbow. That I shouldn't bother with him, he was on his way back anyhow.
+
The last point was non-negotiable with my body. Plus I really wanted at least that bit of pre-modern colour he had on his red deel with gold embroidery.
+
The ensuing fight was harder than the first one. I can't tell you much more. None of the combat knowledge you injected me with really feels like mine. It just gets executed without my input.
+
What I can tell is that he could keep up with me even when I started using illusion magic. Eventually, he put me in enough of a corner that two more combat restrictions were lifted.
+
After that, I could finally overwhelm him. I can't quite make sense of what he said then.
+
"If you want to be free, you really have to work with what's in your reach."
+
Truth be told I had completely forgotten we were in a temple. Besides what would a temple focused on illusion and divination even do? Blinding me with the red roaring light of fire, dosed in the divinity of this era. It could not compare to the holy light I saw back in the present in all those movies and games. Still, the temple turned into an inferno I could do little against, while the hostile fled.
+
"You've already been told where to go."
+
That was the last I had heard of him. I teleported out right after. There's no trace of the second hostile. I'm certain he travelled back to the future, otherwise his pre-modern colour would have spread.
+
There's really nothing going my way.
+
It will be ages till I get the next chance to meet real colour. It will take a few years for Caesar to get into power and make a more wide-reaching decree for the ban of the Tyrian Purple. The window is never all that big. Even in the municipium of the first event, I'm sure nobody will respect the ban past its second day.
+
Caesar's ban will allow more time-travellers to slip past. Still, they'll appear in that ugly purple soldier outfit, so what's the point?
+
But I have to do something.
+
The Haruspex was obviously talking about Mount Olymp. I've seen just a glimpse of the power of Apollo, but… No, they can't help me.
+
I'll look into that Safehouse instead, that both hostiles were talking about. It must be time-travel related in some way. Something is also telling me you wouldn't like it, but it's not against the mission, so I can still go. All the more of a reason.
+
Over and Out.
+
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CONCLUSION:
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+
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It is assumed that each "Purple Reversal" Event corresponds with a decree to either ban the dye of Tyrian Purple or restrict it to the Roman royal family. Just as these first events, the bans were often unsuccessful in restricting the popular but expansive dye, as the otherwise hard-to-recreate colour purple served as a status symbol.
+
These temporary shifts in the Paradigm bear little resemblance to the ongoing Paradigm Shift. No vector for the shift becomes clear in the report. The shift seems to start with the law and end with the effectiveness of it.
+
The ban of Tyrian Purple suggests a ban of the primary vector might reverse an occurring Paradigm Shift based on the thoroughness of the ban.
+
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Number: 1183 Corresponds to Nx-50 in Foundation Files
+
Kind: Liang
+
Source: Artifact 1183 is the Five Stone Valley. The Heavens of the Valley are diffused with five ever-melting stones of the five major colours. Qing, Black, White, Red and Yellow. Everything that is touched by these colours will be closer to the Heavens.
+
Commentary: As all information we have of the Valley comes from a scroll produced by Artifact One this colour shift can not be dated. Yet the difference is evident. Blue and green exist as one in Qing and no mention of the colours outside the Five can be found. Or perhaps there is no shift at all and the Valley still behaves as this? All the more reason to find it again. Surely it will be of aid against the current iteration of SCP-8901.
+
File: The following constitutes the entirety of records the Abnormality Institute possesses about the Valley.
+
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It was when the Heavens were at their most distinct, two travellers entered the west hills of Five Stone Valley. Quickly they left the gate of the white-and-yellow rainbow behind. The woman of the pair was worried. "What if we're too late?"
+
The man of Kuiyang Sect calmed his companion. "You must only look at the Stone Nüwa had put into this patch of Heaven to see it is not so. The Heavens are in accord with the Valley."
+
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Nüwa and her brother patching the holes of the Heavens with Five Coloured Stones
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Indeed the Heaven over the west brimmed with the white liquid of the melted Stone as much as the hills. The truth of his words was further proven by the dim black of the east hills. The azure sky of the Qing Sect had overtaken all but the actual Stone.
+
They walked at a fast pace. None would detect the two. The man concealed their presence while the woman swiftly navigated the pair through their homeland.
+
Soon they were upon the main gates of the White Sect. They entered the wide halls of the White Tower with its walls of steel, under as much pressure as its inhabitants. Even on a floor so low as the entrance hall, one could see the White Stone melting directly above the tower.
+
They were not the only guests in attendance that day. The alliance which had crushed the Black Sect were there, a Master of Qing and a Master of Red. To the side stood a small hooded congregation unfamiliar to all, seeking audience of the lord of the house. The White Master sat as a pillar of marble deep in concentration. Towering over them all, if not in size, then in presence. Even while granting audience to two sect masters he would not completely halt his meditation.
+
Yet it was not the sect masters, but the two travellers who caught his attention. The Master of the White Sect spoke: "I see the thief who has stolen my daughter has returned with the goods. For this, no ire shall befall you provided she remained pure."
+
"I have not come to return to your side, honourable father, but to warn you of a threat. The Golden Horde is nearly upon us, just 25 Li away. There is no point in striving against another when a foe outside our ranks seeks to destroy us."
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The face of her father was as metal, flat and cold. "Your warning is useless to us, little Fenghua. The Golden Horde has always wanted to conquer this valley, but the Nightwatch ensures they may never find it."
+
Fenghua was distraught. Not even the army on horseback would make them consider matters outside their little valley, so transfixed were they on their inner squabbles.
+
Thinking common courtesy done, the father ordered the man arrested and his daughter retrieved. To this, the man of Kuiyang Sect said:
+
"Of you, only the one shall stand against me who has seen a rainbow with more colours than the two-coloured which gate your heavens."
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The order of arrest was swiftly averted. The people of Five Stone Valley were deeply in tune with the Heavens yet time and time again their efforts had been eclipsed by Outsiders who were merely visiting the Valley for training.
+
The capture of his daughter proved just as difficult. No man could move Bai Fenghua, no matter how hard his soldiers pushed and pulled.
+
It was not a stand purely of metal as one would think of the White Sect. There was earth mixed into it.
+
Indeed there was a yellow tint to the daughter's otherwise pale-leaning face.
+
"This daughter wishes to make amends," spoke Fenghua yet unmoving. "I shall reveal a traitor in our midst."
+
The father's fury was only visible to those who long knew him. "Two traitors at least, you must reveal to be pardoned, for you have betrayed me twice. Once by running away and twice by mudding the purity of steel with a yellow technique. Have you forgotten to fear the man who practised one technique ten thousand times over the one who practised ten thousand techniques?"
+
"Yet the woman who devoted one hundred to a second technique will see the other nine hundred of their first elevated." Fenghua knew the truth in this. Hers was a metal technique through and through, taking any strikes head-on. All the earth added served as reinforcement of the metal.
+
A third voice was added to the fray. "If you allow me honourable father, I will retrieve her for you." It was Beili, the Master's most beautiful jewel. Her cultivation of the White Stone was strong, for she was as pale as the moon. Her father preferred her to be presented rather than fought, but he relented.
+
And so it came that the two sisters traded blows. Yet beyond mere blows there was understanding. They were sisters of battle and mere punches and kicks formed a language. Fenghua asked. Beili understood.
+
An observer might have thought what happened next mere accident. Their fight took them across the hall to one of the few other colours used in the White Sect, a black to contrast the white.
+
Just as coincidental as the paint was acquired it was sprayed across the Red Master. For black to act to red as water acted to fire was clear to all, yet a mortal should not have started to hiss as the Red Master did.
+
The hall was silent in their shock. The demon, strengthened from the breach in trust, attacked the two who had revealed him. Many thought this the end of Fenghua.
+
Beili was far in the white techniques of metal. Few things would break her skin. So while she was up against fire, it was agreed she would survive until the master intervened. Yet Fenghua prevailed.
+
Why would she have undergone tribulation by the man of Kuiyang Sect if not to overcome a difference in colour?
+
So they both stood against the demon's strikes. With black paint and coordination, they overcame the monster hiding in the Red Master's corpse.
+
As soon as the demon had been dealt with, the Master of Qing bowed with his forehead to the ground. Waging war against the Black Sect who had denied them resources bargained for was one thing, but working with a demon? Even bringing it into a meeting for peace. These were grave insults which would cost the Qing Master all he had gained in this short-lived campaign. He apologized to the utmost degree.
+
The alliance was as good as over. The Red Sect would have a fallout of their own, grappling with the fact their Master had been replaced by a demon. No wonder now, why a sect so intent on happiness and passion had suddenly chosen the warpath.
+
"Now the Valley will return to what it once was." So spoke the White Master.
+
"The Valley cannot return to its prior state." The hooded figures broke decorum and stepped into the room unannounced. "You have entertained us with your fights, so allow us to return the favour. The Yellow Sect was behind the demon. They will challenge you once more in their attempt to broaden the centre."
+
"Who are you to speak as such about our fellow sects?" demanded the White Master.
+
Fenghua gasped as the hooded figures revealed themself. For it was the very Golden Horde she had warned against. "I thought you 25 Li away."
+
"Then that is where we will be. I suppose we cannot travel further back." The people of the Horde had the complexion of Outsiders spending much time in the valley. Yet their appearance was rich in more than one colour of the valley. They bowed. "We greet you for our last and first meeting."
+
The White Master would not let shock show on his face. "I will report you to the Nightwatch."
+
The delegation laughed. "You will try. I will not let you. This tunnel to before must remain open. Even as limited as it is."
+
No refutation was possible, for the White Sect had already shown it would not lay hand on Outsiders.
+
"We will leave you to your war with yellow then."
+
"Let us leave with you," spoke Fenghua. "I will leave to find the strength that might return balance to the valley."
+
Her father was displeased once more. "You would betray me again now at the cusp of war? No, you will stay."
+
"Yes, for now, I have revealed two traitors to you. Per your own words, I am pardoned."
+
Her father frowned, but honour forbade him to disagree. No such thing held Fenghuas tongue now. "All of you have stagnated. Thinking closeness to one Stone the pinnacle of achievement. Here we are carried by the Five entirely while the Outsider has their self-earned power amplified by the Stones. There is knowledge out there that will strengthen our connection to the Heavens and I will find it."
+
She bowed. "I bid you farewell, father."
+
Fenghua left with the man of Kuiyang Sect and the delegation of the Golden Horde. They parted ways with the delegation at the edge of the Five Stone Valley, confined by the only rainbow gate of all five colours.
+
Soon they left the richest of rainbows behind, adventures lurking under new horizons.
+
+
Further Commentary: Other than my college I do not think this nexus holds the answers to this crisis. If the Abnormality Institute could not find it through all their years then neither can we. I do not think it possible for the nexus to hold more than itself against any shift. One must assume it is too insular for its colours to reach beyond its bounds in the present.
+
Besides it seems even this valley could not escape a gradual drift of colour. Why else would the Golden Horde not travel further back?
+
Our colours have changed. White is no longer purely there to mourn, but also to wed. The once neutral black now colours the uniform of the modern professional. I'm sure in the past all of China could witness the Five-coloured Heavens and yet in the present the sky is blue.
+
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The R. H. Commission on Unusual Cargo
+
Authorized by the O5 Council who supersedes said Commission
+
Interpretation Manifest 6007
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Curator: Commissioner DanielJefferson
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Storage Instructions:
+
Storage is neither possible nor necessary. The sole task of the last Commissioner is to store the documents on the Manifest.
+
Cargo Description:
+
The cargo was an island encountered by the crew of the Second Chance. The island in question had many intriguing qualities to it and is more famous to the Foundation at large for its role as part of the 13 Island Incident. However of current import is only the multiple paradigms of colour encountered on it, as well as the person seemingly capable of containing each paradigm. It is without a doubt the best evidence so far of the historic shifts in colour and may prove vital in combating its most recent occurrence.
+
Curator Thomas Poole provided multiple letters about the events on the island after the Second Chance's long journey home was concluded in the year 1645 AD. I have provided the excerpt concerning the island in question.
+
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We had scarcely left the waters of Great Britain when we encountered the island. The change was gradual but immediately apparent.
+
The moon slowly moved over the sun, until it was firmly locked in place directly before it. All the while the waters grew wild. Try as we might we could not resist the pull of the sea. It was dragging us directly towards an island that had first appeared on the horizon when the moon began its treacherous journey. Though I harbour suspicions that it was never our moon covering the sun.
+
As we were pulled closer, the darkest moon dragged its prisoner closer to the zenith. We were lucky to not have been pulled on shoar. The current did not so much slow down as it ran face-first into another current opposing it. And so the Second Chance finally came to a hold.
+
Our crew split in two, one group staying, and the other exploring the island in hopes of finding a clue to our predicament.
+
The oddities of the island began at the shoar. This was no proper beach. It could not decide if it wanted to be the desert's soft sand, the swamp's muddy shores or the cliff's hard stones. It was all three and yet it was neither.
+
The second discovery was that we were not alone. Many a people had arrived simultaneously with us and yet countless more would come. With certainty, I could only identify the legionnaires of the Ancient Romans and the Knights of the French of likely centuries past. Yet there was something peculiar about each of them.
+
They were drenched in lights that should not be. Each group spouted a different set of colours I had never witnessed before. Unspeakable abominations before the eyes of the Lord. A keener eye than mine had also observed the properties of the beach to be of the same colours as its people. Not all of it, a sliver remained normal.
+
I wish I could state our first reaction to be the establishment of conversation to solve our shared plight. It is with regret I must write, we went to weapons instead. Each of us viewed the other as a manifestation of this madness. How could we not, with their colours so abominable?
+
We established the sliver of real beach as our territory as did the others with theirs. This standstill remained until the last arrival on the island.
+
I cannot tell where they came from, but they appeared without their own part of beach. They came with their horses. A sizable group of elite warriors, most of them Mongols. The Commission had heard of this group. The Golden Horde.
+
As swift as they appeared they went to conquer the island. A few people they defeated for their territory. But with the rest, they talked. It was only the second largest surprise they brought when they communicated with everyone without much difficulty.
+
I must admit we faced greater troubles in this endeavour. Latin may have drifted, but talks could still be established with the Romans. Yet the Horde could not only boast of the many languages they could talk with a surprising fluency, but also the ease with which they rendered unknown languages understood. Their interpreting was performed at a speed that I would almost call akin to speaking the language in the first place.
+
Yet the biggest surprise they brought with them was their claim to know the way of the island. They would barter for it, they said. They were looking for recruits and for something they would not disclose in the open.
+
They set up their yurts. Other groups would send a single delegate to enter the yurt of the leader to barter. Was it a Khan? I can not be sure. So little is known about the Horde.
+
The reason for a single delegate lay in the danger of intermingling. They did not mind, expressed the delegate of the Horde. But Nightwatch would.
+
As for us, we were not yet at a point we would barter. I have my doubts that our captain would have ever sunken so low. Think about what they could possibly want from us. Clearly, it would have to be our cargo, was the reasoning. And if not, what else could we give? Our secrets? Just as unacceptable of a loss as the cargo would be.
+
Maybe the Nightwatch, some of the crew debated. The Captain denied this. All we knew was the Nightwatch had a deal with The Board of Regents. A Carte Blanche that shall not be interfered with. And they were watching us from a star moving faster than others, which would occasionally blink in and out. Not enough to batter for someone who seemed to know what would enrage the Nightwatch.
+
Curiously this star was one of the few which stood consistent over this strange dark sky. All other constellations moved or vanished, depending on your position.
+
Our captain had sent single delegates out to other groups. It was through this measure we were able to confirm the stars corresponded to the brightest points of different constellations. Each befitting a constellation of the home and time a people had been whisked away from.
+
Most curiously no stars were visible from the centre of the island, as one would expect from a normal eclipse. Here the moon stood in its zenith, surrounded by a ring of light unlike anything I have ever seen. To say this ring shone in different colours would be both false and right. Only white light was given off.
+
Yet it was far from pure. Only a small section of it remained in the white I had known all my life. Everything else was drenched in whites impossible to imagine. Little would be gained from studying it in our situation.
+
As we returned, some people had already bartered with the Horde, though they had not yet departed. As expected some had decided to stay with them. Those traded away were quickly whisked away into other tents.
+
The traders were not keen on telling us information free of charge, so it remains unknown what the other thing the Horde was trading for might be. Though I have my suspicions.
+
Either way, we would still not be among those barterers. Next, we would research the currents. Since we had landed the island had started to be surrounded by fogbows, those rainbows bleached off colour. We quickly found ours. There it stood in white illumination. Like a gate welcoming us home.
+
As we did our research others grew restless. The Romans and some Chinese people had decided they would pry the Mongols of their knowledge not by barter but by the sword.
+
They shook hands for their pact.
+
The effects were immediate. They intermingled. Of those that came in contact with each other both sets of colours mixed. Some seemed shocked at this, but most were set on their goal of usurping the Horde.
+
The Golden Horde took action on their own. All but the new recruits, still hidden away I assume, got on horseback. Yet they were not preparing for the Roman-Chinese alliance. The Horde prepared as if an empty space in front of them would attack at any moment.
+
Then that space filled.
+
In it appeared a man.
+
He was wearing a grey suit of a strange cut. With him was a dog out of metal, similarly in grey. Their colours suited the colours I was used to, but looking at them left me with a feeling more uncanny than any other new colour I had witnessed that day. All these groups at least wore their wrongness on their sleeve.
+
These two gave me the feeling they had 'slipped on' the right colour set to hide their true nature. When the man spoke it was likewise with an English accent foreign to anything in this world.
+
"Affirmative. NIGHTWATCH-send coordinates align with my perception. Commence elimination of the detection anomaly."
+
As soon as the man in grey had finished talking, his hound of metal shot rays of pure black. Its target was the alliance and all who had intermixed their colours. It covered them under a coat of the darkest black I had ever witnessed. Dark enough no contour was visible. There were muffled screams under the coat, followed by silence.
+
He then turned to soldiers of the Horde, who had their weapons still ready.
+
"Why are you still here? You should know by now this is no place to bury your Khan."
+
"Of course," the leader replied. "but there is still time to enjoy ourselves after our mission is done, you hear me?"
+
The strange man eyed them with suspicion. "There is nothing to enjoy here."
+
"You don't find this place the tiniest bit fascinating?"
+
"Of course not. The 13 Island Incident has been thoroughly researched."
+
At this, the leader laughed. "You would say that. You have lost your eyes despite having so many of them."
+
For a brief moment, the grey of the stranger slipped. Beneath it, the true colours of the creature were revealed. Just for a moment, I could witness this offence to the world, trying to dominate over all, before it tapped on its suit and the grey reasserted itself on the 'man'.
+
Then it turned to us.
+
"Cargo personnel. You have everything you will gather here. Leave at once."
+
The captain was brave enough to ask for confirmation. Was this thing truly of the Nightwatch?
+
"Of the Nightwatch? I suppose you could say that."
+
We did as we were told and got ready to leave. We got dark looks from the Horde as the thing ordered us around, but the stranger seemed intent not to act, now with all intermixing gone.
+
It took a bit longer to get the ship ready. In essence, we had already grasped which current would take us out. Still, we needed to make sure our theory was correct.
+
Finally, everyone was on board and we slipped out of the side of the two currents trapping the Second Chance. We had made some distance to the island before a voice brought it back.
+
"You haven't bartered with us."
+
There were horses on the ship.
+
I do not know how the Golden Horde, or rather a small delegation of it, had managed this impossible feat. I suppose this is par for the course for this strange group. As we had lost our chance to barter in goods, it seemed the Mongols were now intent on bartering with blood.
+
They quickly overwhelmed us. How could they not? None of our men are trained to fight horsemen on board.
+
Yet the most peculiar thing was mentioned to me by one of our crewmates. As they were fighting, one of the horsemen cut off our crewmate's hair while another captured the stolen hair in a sack nearly as black as the metal hound's ray in the same swoop.
+
Shortly after, the fighting ended. The Horde departed as quickly as it came. I was able to ask a question of the last one before he departed as well.
+
I asked of him if our suspicions were correct, now that our barter had been paid. I asked if we had to sail through the fogbow of our white.
+
He laughed at me. "It's just a rainbow. They don't mean anything for all this. One is as good as the other." And then he left.
+
We still elected to return through the fogbow drenched in the right white. Better to be safe than sorry.
+
Indeed we did arrive back home. A good century before our departure.
+
+
Manifest Remarque
+
The spread of the paradigm by touch lines up with the secondary vector of spread in the current Paradigm Shift. Though curiously the colours here intermingled instead of one Paradigm winning out over the other. Let us assume this a property of the island.
+
Far more promise can be found in this "NIGHTWATCH". While the Board of Regents of old seemed to have been aware of it, no records of relation to this organization remain. The text shows a technology capable of stopping the Paradigm shift via containment of contaminated elements. Unfortunately, I do not think it possible to reverse-engineer this technology based on this text alone. Cooperation with this NIGHTWATCH might be required for such a thing.
+
+
+
+
Manifest 8901 (E): Chronicles of the British Society of Vampires
+
The following document is part of a book which constitutes the spoils of the only successful raid His Majesty's Foundation had against the áuṭupiri giáhen, a vampire organisation of Daevite origin. Earlier sections of the book imply it to not be written by hand but rather by a process of direct information extraction.
+
It details the entire time a matriarch in training spent at a school of the Houses of Merlin sometime after Sir Isaac Newton's death in 1727. She did so by impersonating a student who had previously been assassinated. No records of the Houses of Merlin exist in our archive so we must assume the group to have been wiped out completely during or before the Sixth Occult War.
+
The Paradigm Shift in this last document is the invention of the visible spectrum by Sir Isaac Newton. The decline of alchemy as a practice supports the claims made by the report. It follows the relevant excerpt from the retrieved book.
+
+
The day started normal enough. Mary was characteristically early, but not early enough to be of note. It was best to catch new information early in the morning. Today, she was reconsidering this approach as it would undoubtedly result in Dustin confronting her.
+
An obvious choice was to be there after Dustin, but for all he liked the school, he tended to be late. Maybe he would be late again? She couldn't risk it.
+
Although she didn't like using the same spellcraft that had brought her into this situation, she saw little choice. She searched for a corner that was not too far away from the chatter of her classmates and subtly darkened it. When she was done, no one could see a person standing there.
+
Dustin arrived a minute before the teacher, searching for Mary. He did eye the corner she was hiding in suspiciously while the teacher was ushering her students in. She waited until he was in the room before leaving her corner. Nothing worthwhile had been in the chatter in the end.
+
Ms. Stemham began before all students had been seated. "On what note did we leave the last lesson? " Only one student raised her hand. "Ms. Alnwick?"
+
"We completed the second step of the classical alchemical process: Albedo," said Lilly. She cocked an eyebrow at Mary who had just slipped into her seat, but didn't ask any questions.
+
"That is correct." Ms. Stemham continued. "Today we will continue with Citrinitas, the yellowing. While some of you will have noticed discrepancies with the theory it is only now that you will be confronted with the consequences of Newton's Realignment. But first, take out your prima materia."
+
Dutifully the students all brought out their whitened prima materia from their bottles, except Michael who had tried storing it in a small extradimensional pocket with questionable results.
+
The teacher explained the process of the yellowing. Ideally, as they acted on the prima material more and more of it would turn yellow, until only yellow light remained, marking the materia's transition to the immaterial.
+
"You will have to start choosing now what you want your philosopher's stone to do," said Ms. Stemham. "Most of the shaping will be done in the next stage, but Rubedo requires Citrinitas as a ground plan."
+
Mary pondered this. What should her philosopher's stone be for? Maybe get rid of Dustin? A death she would rather avoid. It might complicate her stay here and she could always just ask Kaesauvaonfai anyway.
+
Perhaps a potion that makes you forget? Might be too complicated, but it was a goal. It would be a magic potion in any case. If only her material would be turning the right yellow already.
+
"This is so boring," lamented Mary. "Can't we do something more Witch-like? We should be using a cauldron instead of all this fancy equipment."
+
Lilly rolled her eyes. "This is what witches are using. Cauldrons aren't good for anything. You're certainly not making a philosopher's stone with one."
+
Mary groaned. "How can you be from a family of actual witches and be so," she gestured with her hands, "not witch-like."
+
"You're the one that has a weird image of what a witch is supposed to be," countered Lilly.
+
"No, I haven't." Mary turned away from her work. "Witches should be doing crazy stuff all the time. Like cursing a man that was not nice to his cat. Or, I don't know uh, turning demons into powder and then inhaling it."
+
"That's ridiculous." Lilly turned back to her tasks and tuned Mary out. She wondered which of her statements had been close to the truth. Lilly always stonewalled her when she was getting too close to asking her about her family's magic.
+
Not that Mary could blame her. She probably kept a tighter leash on her secrets than any of the Houses of Merlin did. That the houses released enough that the school could be held in the first place was a miracle. Oh right, the lesson.
+
She turned back to her now relatively yellow, and physically reduced, prima material. The yellow still wasn't right. It was what Ms. Stemham had meant with Newton's Realignment. Ever since 'the last alchemist', as some liked to call him, had invented the colour spectrum, the alchemical process had lost its purity. How could you do the yellowing precisely when there was more than one yellow?
+
Mary glanced at the yellow on the other desks. Then, as discreetly as possible, she Lied to her prima material and told it what colour it was supposed to be. Now she had a perfectly average result in front of her. Exactly as you would expect from an heir of the House Mediaen.
+
"I see that for many of you, the conceptualization isn't proceeding as hoped." Ms. Stemhad didn't seem too disappointed. "Luckily along with the problems of the Realignment Newton also left us with the tools to circumvent it. Our oracle has forecast a perfect rainbow tomorrow not too far from here. I would be a shoddy teacher to let such an opportunity go to waste."
+
On the next day, Mary woke up early as always. Kaesauvaonfai had not appeared in front of her. Neither had her guardian vampire left a letter. She sighed in relief. They were not aware of her letting a secret slip then. She should resolve the problem today before the Society took notice.
+
They'd first have normal classes before going on the trip in the afternoon. Nothing of note happened in the classes outside of Mary having to continuously slip away from Dustin's attention. He was way better at finding her than he ought to be.
+
When the last class was done, Mary did her best to rush out as soon as possible.
+
"What's the rush for?" asked Lilly.
+
"I still have to buy a spindle!" came the hurried answer. The magic spindle was something that each of them needed to bring to the trip. The school sponsored basically nothing when it could instead fall back on the families always overeager to outdo each other even for something as trivial as school supplies. Neither the House of Mediaen nor her actual family had deigned to give her a spindle, however. Not that she asked the latter in the first place.
+
"Hold on, I'm coming with you." Dustin stood up. She turned around. "What, do you also need a spindle?" — "Yeah." Damn it. Looks like there was no way out of this one without looking like an asshole. So all she said was "Sure, but hurry up. We need to be back by 1'o clock."
+
Mary didn't strike up a conversation as they walked to the store she had in mind. She waited just until Dustin wanted to ask his question before cutting him off. "Why do you need a spindle? Shouldn't your family cover that?"
+
"Ah, well." Dustin was a bit uncomfortable. Good. "The Farbridges put a lot into this school, so they expect the school to cover its activities."
+
"But it can't?"
+
"No, it can." Dustin sounded a little miffed. "I just don't want to be the only student who gets his spindle from the school." Ah, that made sense. "I bet it will even be one my parents made. But enough of that, where are you bringing us?"
+
"There's a shop not far from here that sells all kinds of curiosities. They definitely have a spindle."
+
"What house do they belong to?" asked Dustin. It was always funny how the English mages seemed to think nothing existed outside their small little world.
+
"No house." Before Dustin could ask his follow-up question, she added: "And yes, they know about the magic."
+
Dustin seemed more uncomfortable to go now, but it was sadly not enough to escape the conversation she was dreading.
+
"I've been meaning to ask" — "Don't," She warned him.
+
Dustin only took that as the confirmation he had been looking for. "So it was you. You removed the magic beast's magic before it hit the teacher, didn't you?"
+
Mary did not let any emotion show on her face. "I don't know what you mean."
+
"Why are you trying to hide it? That must have been a great Counterspell!"
+
It hadn't been. How much she wished that she had trained her Lying enough for another student not to notice it the second she attempted a larger Lie.
+
"I don't know, Dustin," she snapped at him. "Maybe you didn't notice, but the Houses rather like to keep their magic tricks to themselves. On principle, I mean," she hurriedly added.
+
"That's the whole point of the school. Finally letting our fences down so the Houses can be greater together."
+
"The Farbridges and the Merryways are the only ones that believe in the school. Everyone else thinks it's not going to last even a generation. Hells, we just had a sabotage attempt that was clearly meant to disestablish the school."
+
"I just worry we'll be outpaced. If you—" Thankfully they had arrived at the shop and Mary stormed inside before Dustin could continue.
+
"Ah, Ms. Mediaen. And I see you brought company this time." She was greeted by an old Asian man.
+
"Hello, Mr. Sartaq." The man ignored her and focused on Dustin. "Do you know who Genghis Khan is?"
+
Dustin was confused. "Yes?"
+
Sartaq sighed. "Well, have to do my duty. What can I do for you?"
+
"We're searching for spindles."
+
"What kind of spindle?"
+
Dustin scratched his head. "One that can spool things a normal spindle can't? Our teacher didn't give us much information."
+
"It's obviously to get pure colours," Mary countered. "We don't need to spindle thoughts or something."
+
Sartaq laughed. "I have those as well. Sadly not for sale."
+
"Sure you do," Maria rolled her eyes. "Why'd you have something so valuable and then not sell it?"
+
"Well the Horde left me here to take care of them," he started, as he went presumably to retrieve the spindles. "There is someone who really doesn't want us to find a way to change our colour. They want us to just move forward in time and as long as we'll have our mission we'll do that. But one day we'll be done and no Watch will keep us from crashing through their coloured walls and go whenever it pleases us."
+
Dustin looked confused at Mary, who was used to the old man's tales by now.
+
"We're all born free, kids," Sartaq had returned with two spindles in hand. "Let no one ever take that away from you."
+
Mary rolled her eyes at the old man's 'wisdom'. Then she got a look at the clock. The trip!
+
They paid for their spindles and ran back to the school as fast as their legs carried them. They arrived in time just to leave again for their trip to the rainbow.
+
Mary had to catch her breath a bit, but then she was back to her usual self. "Why don't we just fly there?"
+
"What, on a broom?" asked Lilly, amused.
+
"Yes!" — "There's a whole host of reasons why that doesn't work and I think you know that." — "Easy, for you to say. You could actually fly there." — "I would like to make this trip in my body and not just one of an animal I burrowed."
+
And so they went on.
+
Finally, they arrived at the hill from which the prophesized rainbow was supposed to be seen. There it stood, the still image of thousands of moving raindrops projected onto them, in all of Newton's colours. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet.
+
As soon as they could all see the rainbow Ms. Stemham continued her lesson. "The Citrinitas phase can be helped along by providing a material that has the correct shade of yellow, or red in the case of Rubedo. Who can tell me what problem this causes? Yes, Ms. Mediaen?"
+
"By introducing material other than the prima materia into the process we're contaminating it, making it useless for the alchemical process."
+
"That is correct." Ms Stemham nodded. "That is why we won't be using material to fix your Citrinitas. You have brought your spindles today to unweave this rainbow."
+
+
+
Modern Recreation of a Rainbow Unweaving
+
+
+
They went to work. Each student set to spool only the yellow and red bands of the rainbow with their spindle. Ms Stemham spooled the six other colours. Mary wondered what for. Perhaps there was already a new alchemical process in the works, more befitting the world the Last Alchemist had left them with.
+
They quickly exhausted the full worth of the rainbow and so set their sight on the second much less visible one. It was not much light each student had harvested in the end, but it would probably do for their first shoddy philosopher's stone.
+
Still, even this method to save the alchemical process must have been hard to find. Mary thought about whether or not it had been a group effort like the school. Probably. There must have been a lot of people, probably including Newton himself, scrambling to fix the science of a bygone era. And it worked. Someone had clearly shared their secret at least, if now a whole class could be taught this method.
+
She looked at Dustin, who currently shared some of his light with another student. Maybe this didn't have to end with her poisoning Dustin. All she had to do was create the Counterspell Dustin thought she had cast, instead of Lying. That couldn't be too hard, could it?
+
+
It is to be noted that documentation of this Paradigm Shift is just as limited as documentation about any of the other Paradigm Shifts outlined here, despite the presumably worldwide consequences of Newton's invention of the spectrum. This leaves further credence to the theory that there is some element to these shifts which causes them to be forgotten.
+
Far more terrifying is the possibility of the Paradigm Shift being accompanied by a change in physics as evidenced by this change in alchemy.
+
Yet there is hope in the fact the old ways of alchemy could persevere. Perhaps we too can find a way to preserve that of the Paradigm before?
Research the current and past SCP-8901 events for antimemetic effects resulting in ennui regarding the event.
+
APPROVED
+
+
+
Ban the primary vector of spread of the current SCP-8901 event, namely the coloured photograph and associated technology.
+
DENIED
+
+
+
Increase efforts in locating Nx-50 "Five Stone Valley" in hopes of replicating its assumed paradigm shift-resistant effect.
+
APPROVED
+
+
+
Establish contact with the organization behind NIGHTWATCH and trade for their paradigm containment technology.
+
DENIED
+
+
+
Research methods of preserving individual objects of the current paradigm in their current state.
+
APPROVED
+
+
+
Reasons for Denial: [Δ/8901 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]
+
+Note: The most recent event of SCP-8901 has been given the designation SCP-8900-EX. See the corresponding file for any implemented solutions derived from the material in this file.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8934 is to be blindfolded with an opaque cloth and stored within a small containment locker located at Site-8154. Surveillance cameras and pressure sensors have been installed in the containment chamber to monitor the entity. In the event of a breach, staff members are to be deployed to manually recontain the entity. Two staff members are required while entering the containment chamber, and at least one person must secure the door from the inside by placing the hand on the door handle.
+
Except for testing purposes, it is forbidden to place any objects that hold structures or figures that can be described or perceived as eyes near SCP-8934.
+
Description: SCP-8934 designates a small cloth doll approximately 27cm tall. Non-destructive testing has revealed that, in addition to cotton, the doll contains several human bones. The doll's head has many features resembling eyes.
+
Individuals within 10m of SCP-8934 have reported an intense feeling of scopaesthesia, coming from the entity. Additionally, subjects have reported irrational fear of and desire to destroy any objects which can be said to contain recognizable elements that are "eyes" within the effect radius. The presence or absence of the effect on individual objects at this time depends on whether the observer can find "eyes" in the object.1 The origin of this is unknown. This fear also extends to SCP-8934, but no affected individual has attempted to damage it
+
The doll has shown signs of autonomous behavior when not physically observed. The following is a sound recording of the containment locker, believed to be SCP-8934 physically striking the locker door.
+
Audio Log 8934-3
+
+
+
+SCP-8934 was discovered and contained on 2024/05/18 when the Foundation investigated the X (formerly Twitter) posting history of Hazama Takayuki (端間 孝之), an occult author better known as "Watahito (わたひと)" who had been recently been involuntarily committed. At the time of his institutionalization, Hazama showed symptoms of extreme agitation, delirium, and paranoid schizophrenia. The anomaly was discovered in the center of the apartment. Hazama’s dwelling had previously been decorated with a large number of dolls, figurines, and posters. All had been damaged severely, with a particular focus on destroying or disfiguring any depictions of eyes. Several dolls, including SCP-8934, showed signs of being recently moved. Hazama’s condition has not improved and he remains under Foundation surveillance.
+
The following is a chronological listing of Hazama's 6 most recent X posts. To view all posts made while Hazama was in possession of SCP-8934, see Log 8934-A061.
+
+
Post Time: 2024/05/17 20:01
+
I recently acquired another doll that has a lot of creepy rumors about it, and I'm going to exorcise it while keeping it at home, because it seems to be a seriously bad thing
+Please look forward to my next article✨
+
+
+
Post Time: 2024/05/18 00:46
+
If someone of my friend sees this come to my room please Ive ben targeted2
The context of these messages is currently under review.
+
The following is a statement from Researcher Itsudoki Yotaro, who processed the object following its discovery.
+
Interview Log 8934-3
+
+
Interviewed: Researcher Itsudoki Yotaro (五時 陽太郎)
+
Record Date: 2024/05/25
+
Note: The interview was conducted in Japanese.
+
+
[BEGIN LOG]
+
Now, where do we start? … I'll start from the beginning.
+
That doll was given to me yesterday by the securing team, who asked me to photograph and measure it. And they gave me the necessary equipment and that doll. It was originally in its box when I had it, but it was giving off an… aura. Of just, pure malice and hatred. I didn’t want to open that box, yes. To be frank, I wanted to run away. But that wouldn’t help anyone, so I opened it. Something was looking back up at me from inside and I started to shake. I wanted to cry.
+
I took a moment to calm myself before starting. I pointed the camera at the doll and it made a weird jingling sound. It spooked me, but the camera seemed fine, so I took a few photos. But then, when I was almost done, the camera made a beep noise and the screen shattered before going completely black. I thought I saw something in the screen for a moment but… anyway the camera broke.
+
Well, the doll seemed to be a spectral phenomenon, so I was expecting some kind of haunting. It’s easy for insubstantial spirits to mess with digital data just as insubstantial as it. But I wasn’t expecting it to smash a brand new camera….
+
Due to the clear evidence of spiritual interference, I was told to check the Morris Value. So I looked that up too… The Morris value is the concentration of spiritual particles… Spiriton, I think? Sorry, it’s been a while. And there's a special instrument to measure these things.
+
(Sounds of several pieces of equipment being placed on the interrogation table.)
+
This one is called the Hartmann spirit camera, which takes pictures of spectral entities, and this one is called the Seimei Observation Device, which measures Morris values, but when I tried them, nothing happened.
+
The spirit camera didn't take any pictures, and the observation device only gave baseline values. I'm told that the reason why they thought the doll was causing this in the first place is because it had a ridiculously high Morris value. Normally, the standard value is around 100 Morris (Mrr), but it seemed to be 2,000 or 3,000.
+
The doll has got those… creepy eyes, y’know? They’re really distinctive. The whole time I was measuring or filming it, I felt like it was staring right back at me. The whole time. After I was done with my tests, I took a closer look.
+
When you look closely, they look like a bunch of little eyes all squeezed together. While I was staring, I heard a loud bang behind me. I saw that the light stand had fallen over. Then I heard a loud constant beeping sound and the Morris value shot up rapidly, 200, 300, 400, 500. It scared the hell out of me and I panicked. I tried to run, but when I did… the door wouldn’t open. It wasn’t locked, but it was like someone was forcing it closed. When I tackled the door and got out, I dashed off. I never looked behind me, but I know it was looking at me.
+
When I came back to test it again, nothing happened and the Morris value remained normal. I don’t know what the hell that was, but I know that I don’t want to see it anymore.
+
[END LOG]
+
+
The following is a record of experiments with SCP-8934.
+
Experiment Log 8934-1
+
+
Resources: D-10223
+
Experimental Details: D-10223 is to spend 24 hours in a testing chamber with SCP-8934. SCP-8934 will be placed in a sealed glass case. Rations and toiletries will be provided.
+
Results: D-10223 consistently reported feeling uneasy, and as though SCP-8934 was watching him. Six hours into the experiment, D-10223 began repeatedly banging on the door and begging for extraction. No other anomalous activity was observed. This was true even when the duration of the experiment was extended to 72 hours.
+
+
Experiment Log 8934-4
+
+
Resources: D-10230
+
Experimental Details: Identical to Experiment Log 8934-1. However, SCP-8934 was contained in a small locker.
+
Results: D-10230 did not report any scopaesthesia. However, he felt a slight aversion to the area around the locker and spent the entire experiment without once approaching it. In addition, D-10230 reported sounds coming from inside the locker and an increasing sensation of paranoia. This was true even when the duration of activity was extended to 72 hours.
Experimental Details: D-10254 entered SCP-8934's containment room whilst holding the doll. At this time, SCP-8934 was kept in a locker.
+
Results: D-10254 felt a mild aversion to the locker area and placed the doll as far as possible from SCP-8934.
+
+
Experiment Log 8934-8
+
+
Resources: D-10254, simple doll (teru teru bozu)
+
Experimental Details: Immediately after the conclusion of Experiment 8934-7, the researcher removed SCP-8934 from the locker and placed it on the floor.
+
Results: Once the locker was opened, D-10254 and the researcher became extremely agitated. The researcher exited the chamber while D-10254 was distracted. D-10254 then destroyed the doll by violently tearing its head off.
+
Note: The researcher reported a strong gaze from inside the locker once he opened it.
+
+
Experiment Log 8934-10
+
+
Resources: D-10259, durable doll
+
Experimental Details: A doll was placed near the open locker, and D-10259 entered the containment chamber 24 hours later.
+
Results: D-10259 reported a constant gaze from SCP-8934 and was extremely agitated and paranoid for the duration of the experiment. Of note, D-10259 reported a single glance from the doll, different from that of SCP-8934.
+
+
Experiment Log 8934-12
+
+
Resources: D-10259, durable doll used in Experiment Log 8934-10
+
Experimental Details: D-10259 was told to destroy the doll.
+
Results: D-10259 reacted negatively to the destruction of the doll. As a result of a directive to force, the lights of the containment chamber spontaneously ceased function just before D-10259 tore its head off.
+
Visibility was restored by a researcher's flashlight 15 seconds later. However, during the blackout, sounds of D-10259 screaming and an unknown moaning voice, believed to be of anomalous origin, emanated from the chamber. The moaning ceased when the researcher stabbed a pen into both of the doll's eyes.
+
Although D-10259 claimed SCP-8934 attacked him during the blackout, there exists no evidence of such phenomena.
+
+
Addendum 1: Photos recovered from Hazama's smartphone revealed that he had discovered SCP-8934 at the Otsura (尾葛) Shrine, which used to exist in ██████ Prefecture. The shrine is known to have once conducted a doll memorial service. Currently, the Otsura Shrine has been relocated and the doll memorial service is temporarily suspended.
+
+
+
Invalid file/directory ('8934-Otsura-1.jpg')
+
+
+
+
+
+
Invalid file/directory ('8934-Otsura-2.jpg')
+
+
+
+
+
+
Invalid file/directory ('8934-Otsura-3.jpg')
+
+
+
According to local folklore, the doll memorial service at Otsura Shrine has a different procedure from doll memorial services at other institutions in Japan.
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It should be noted that photographs and detailed reproductions of the service are strictly forbidden, and very few documents are available. However, the details of the ritual have been passed down from generation to generation via oral tradition.
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In addition, while the dolls to be offered must have parts representing eyes, other objects may also be offered if they meet these requirements.
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Below is information on the general procedure for the doll memorial service at Otsura Shrine.
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1. Cleaning the doll
+This is the first step in the procedure for purifying the dolls. No special procedures exist for this process.
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2. Salt sprinkling
+This is the second step in the process of purifying the doll. Natural salt is sprinkled on the doll from various directions. This practice is common in Japan, where salt is treated as a sacred object with purifying capabilities, and is also present in memorial services.
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3. Performance of the ritual prayer
+The priest reads a specific prayer of thanksgiving to the doll. The following is a transcription, reading, and modern translation of the prayer used in this service.
Translation into modern English
+To the many souls here.
+We thank you for your long years of living with the people and supporting them.
+We have decided to transfer you to above.
+I pray from the bottom of my heart that your eyes may rest and your hearts may be at peace.
+I ask you to listen calmly to the thoughts of those who are sending you, as we ask that you be guided by the fire into the above to join gods.
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The above words will be read at least three times, but the number of times may be varied as necessary. In the event of an unnatural phenomenon, the recitation of the prayer is repeated until the circumstances are deemed safe. At this time, all participants in the service are required to ignore any such supernatural activity. The specific nature of the phenomena is not described in the literature.
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After the completion of this procedure, the participation of persons other than priests is generally forbidden. According to documents recovered from the shrine in question, this restriction was introduced in the Meiji period due to safety concerns. If, for any reason, a member of the public attends, they are forced to close their eyes and remain as still as possible until the conclusion of the ceremony.
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4. Soul removal
+Once the ritual is complete, the doll's eyes are destroyed or pierced with the appropriate tools. At this stage, the priests are still required to ignore their surroundings and concentrate on their work, but the specifics of the process are unknown.
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5. Salt sprinkling (2nd time)
+After the soul has been removed, natural salt is again applied to the doll from different directions. Particular attention is paid to the areas where the eyes used to be.
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It is rare for a ceremony to purify the doll with salt twice.
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6. Burning up
+The dolls are placed in a special incinerator on the mountain and burned. This process can be cancelled in some cases.
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Earlier literature states that the dolls were burned directly on the mountain plains, but the incinerator was built in 1960 to prevent salt damage caused by the salt in the dolls.
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+The following is a transcript of an interview with Temata Naoyuki (手又 直和), the son of Temata Naosuke (手又 直弼) the former chief priest of Otsura Shrine.
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Interview Log 8934-6
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Interviewed: Temata Naoyuki
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Record Date: 2024/10/05
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Note: The interview was conducted in Japanese.
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[BEGIN LOG]
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The shrine before relocation? My father used to work there as a chief priest. But it was relocated last year due to some circumstances….
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Is that what you want to know more about? That's a private matter….
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…Okay, I'll explain it all from the beginning.
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You want to know about doll memorial services too? I see. I'll start from there.
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This is a Buddhism story, not a Shinto one. So, tell me, have you ever heard of "kaigen" (開眼)? A Buddha statue is completed when the eyes are carved on it. This means that when the eyes are carved into the statue, the spirit of the statue is put into it, in other words, the soul enters the statue. This is called "tensei" (点睛). You may be familiar with the four-character phrase "garyoutensei8" (画竜点睛).
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At our shrine, the idea is an extension of this. You know the saying, "Even a doll has a soul"? In these parts, we say "The doll has eyes to give it a soul". Conversely, if you remove the eyes from the doll, you can remove the soul. Therefore, at Otsura Shrine, the soul is removed by destroying the eyes before the burning ceremony.
And I think this is also the reason why photographs are not allowed in these offerings, I have no proof though. It can also be interpreted that the souls of the dolls in the photographs can also be entered by the dolls.
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There is another interpretation. In the Meiji period, when photographic technology was first introduced to Japan, there was a superstition that photographs could take the soul away. I believe that this belief was later translated into the idea that the soul gets transferred by being photographed. I'm not sure of the details, but there was something in the past… between the Meiji and Showa periods about photography.
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…Well, I don't know what kind of phenomena that was. I've attended a few memorial services and done a few myself, but those are usually the safe ones. My father never taught me either.
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We’ve kept this tradition for a long time, but our shrine’s been getting older and we couldn’t ignore the decay. My father tried to fix it himself, but it was too late. Moreover, the traffic was bad, so the number of visitors was decreasing. The only people still visiting us were old and tired, and we thought it was time to move. However, we were going to take it slow. My father said we had plenty of time.
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And that’s when everything got complicated a bit, because not long after, my father passed away. The relocation was put on the back burner. After that, things were a bit of a mess for a while. You know, the inheritance, the funeral, etc. I couldn't spend much time at the shrine.
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Once I had time again, I decided to visit and reorganize the shrine. But from the moment I entered the hall where we were going to hold memorial services again, something was wrong. The moment I stepped on the stairway I felt a chill, and when I checked inside, I found that the inside had been ransacked. It was not as if someone had vandalized the place, but rather as if there was a storm brewing inside. There was no bad weather at that time of year, though. It was bizarre.
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I told you earlier that I couldn't take care of the shrine. So, I bought a couple of robot vacuums and installed them around the shrine. When I came back, I noticed that one was stuck on the ledge. I don't even know how it got up there. But when I touched the vacuum to put it down, I felt something from behind.
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In retrospect, I probably should have thought it was my imagination. It was too real. I wondered that might be a sense of wrongness… That gaze… when I thought like that, I suddenly felt the presence of many people behind me. All watching me, staring at me. Thousands and thousands of eyes, all focused on me. As I turned to look behind me, those all disappeared. I remember feeling the vacuum cleaner getting hot at that moment. I felt intuitively that I should not stay here, at that time.
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From then on, I hurriedly worked on the relocation. It was hard, to say the least, but I couldn't rest because the old saying "Rest equals death" kept swirling around in my head. I made the shrine off-limits, left my wife in charge of the house, heaped salt all over the shrine, washed all the buildings with a high-pressure washer, and rushed to make offerings to the few dolls that were left. The giggles and whispers I heard during the rituals…. I was so relieved when it was finally done.
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I haven't been back to my old shrine since then. I know I should really contact the vendor as soon as possible, but… I don’t ever want to see it again. I am afraid to even think about it. If I think about it even a little, I'll be played into someone's hands.
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This is all I can tell you. If you learn more, I think neither you nor I will be safe.
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I'm sure it's… no, let's not talk about it.
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[END LOG]
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Addendum 2: On 2024/10/30, numerous reports were confirmed that when Foundation staff members viewed SCP-8000~8999 documents on computers, tablets, and other electronic terminals around the world, the images on the documents were replaced by those of SCP-8934, or that images of SCP-8934 appeared. The IT Department was tasked with fixing the bug and determining its cause. The phenomenon ceased once the Foundation deleted all images of SCP-8934 from the database. Its origin is still unknown.
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