[User] I was surprise self, don’t even know. I don’t even think say E go give me her number that night. I just tell am say hello, I just introduce myself, even tell me her name that night. Then e say she want  to withdraw from First Bank. I said ok,  can you give me your number maybe next time  we can talk?.

[Assistant] So you no carry am go first bank make she withdraw?


[User] no I no carry am.I’m going to my house  naw.  no, no no no, I no dey do that.

[Assistant] Why you no dey do that kind thing


[User] No, I'm a man of integrity

[Assistant] you are a man of integrity, but you go stop girl collect number from am. Is that what made you man of integrity.


[User] I no dey  escort like that

[Assistant] you might escort her to bank she might decide, you know, give you some money from what she withdrew


[User] women of nowadays don’t do that

[Assistant] you say what?


[User] women of nowadays  don’t do that

[Assistant] why?


[User] Ah ah, you know naw, they are vey stingy

[Assistant] No, not all girls are very stingy.


[User] let me say 95% of them don’t do that, it’s not possible.

[Assistant] 95% of them heee…….  How? So are you talking from the experience that you have had? Can you tell me a little experience that  you have had?


[User] no nono, I can’t am sorry

[Assistant] sha the girl dubu, she dubu.  she is dark: You know they said that black is beautiful


[User] yeah yeah

[Assistant] I don even forget who  talk am self


[User] I don even forget, ……. Ok; I think Flavour

[Assistant] Flavour kwa, where the girl talk say she dey stay?


[User] Behind flat

[Assistant] Behind flat, so as you dey go now, you go go prepare come visit am?  you go dey go visit am. Does she  stay alone?


[User] no she   get room mate

[Assistant] ok na she tell you say she get roommate.  Na waa o! that one sha is very ok.  At least, any day wey you no cook you go go there   go chop naw.


[User] Na so na so.

[Assistant] But I don’t believe that that kind of girl, you know, she is very homely, you see her she is very homely, you know, but the problem there is that she is from Anambra


[User] yeah from Anambra, you know Anambra people dey claim unto say………. But  sha  even at that she is quiet and gently.

[Assistant] you no remember wetin this guy Annonymous talk say Anambra girls if dey chop you ehee say your life no  go remain the same.


[User] you go chop  who no get

[Assistant] if you no get you go go borrow, you no know you go go borrow, say she never tell you say she love you, say you   never go find.


[User] Na waoooo !ok naw, let’s be looking  at her naw

[Assistant] But as you like am now, you want tell me say if she tell say make you give am one thousand or two thousand make she take plate hair you no  go give am.


[User] now now

[Assistant] ehe naw


[User] no ooooooo

[Assistant] Na lie


[User] unless later but for now, no no no I don’t do that. It means she doesn’t love me she just  need my money.

[Assistant] No am a kind of saying that if she call you now and tellyou that she have accepted your date, your proposal to her, and that you know she will call, like she will call you like baby, how far, how are you? I hope you are fine. I need money for my hair you know, I want to look good on Sunday, you know this is weekend, so what would be your reply?


[User] I will say no babe am sorry I don’t have that money now

[Assistant] ok you will tell her no, you don’t have that money now.


[User] yeah

[Assistant] why you go tell am say you   no get money?


[User] Aaha I no get money naw. We all are students

[Assistant] my man you wan  fall my hand


[User] no be say fall your hand guy, if you give am money now, him go request another one and you go give am and any day you no give am, wahala go come.  But that first day if you say you no get money eheee if him wan leave him go leave, if him wan stay him go stay. So that is it.  But if you give am, omo you go dey give am everyday. Any day you refuse to give am   wahala don burst.

[Assistant] wahala don burst like; I don’t get you. wahala don burst like wetin go happen?


[User] As in you people will    start having quarrel

[Assistant] ok you people will start having quarrel, but that is when you don’t understand yourselves but if you actually understand yourselves, I don’t think that such things would be happening. What do you think about it?


[User] I don’t understand by understanding myself

[Assistant] P/P no, once the girl been like you, love you, you know, care about you, if you tell am sef say you no get money sef that one no be matter, I no even see   issues for there.


[User] nna eh, that one I no nooooooo

[Assistant] but wetin be your mind like if on how she call you tell you that kind thing.


[User] I no go give am. To be honest with you, I no go give am

[Assistant] you won’t give her, without no reasons


[User] without no reasons, that mean say him don gree on top of it come dey beg money, eh! e dey suspicious naw.

[Assistant] you no reason say she go talk say nna eh, god don bring another stingy person for my life. Wetin, just reason this talk   way I talk.


[User] I no no sha, but I don’t think that kind girl go fit do that kind thing

[Assistant] no ooooo dey dey write am for face


[User] No the girl is gentle. I don’t think no nono

[Assistant] let me tell you, gentle ones na dem dey spoil pass, like serious, you no know


[User] It's true  sha, it's true

[Assistant] hehehehe… Nna how far naw, i no understand you, na this pen you wan pick from ground? E don reach make you dey pick pen?


[User] No oo.. no be like that o … but the pen no good o. But to be honest with you, for my first year, after first semester first year, I never buy biro since that time

[Assistant] you never buy pen from your second year?


[User] Na pick I dey pick,  guy

[Assistant] ok..na  pick you  dey pick pocket


[User] even the one wey I dey hold now, na pick I pick  am.

[Assistant] oh.. even this on wey you hold now, na pick wey you pick am…


[User] na pick I pick  am…

[Assistant] laughs… So wetin you dey do na everywhere… even o.. wait, so everywhere wey you go, you see pen, you  go pick


[User] Ehe nna…

[Assistant] even when you get pen or you no get pen, you go still pick pen?


[User] come my room naw, you go see pen, pen full my room, guy.

[Assistant] pen full your room? Guy, I dey feel you..laughs… so wetin you dey use all of  them do?


[User] ah.. if this one finish, I go bring another one, I never buy pen  since second year

[Assistant] … like seriously, you have not bought pen  since second year..


[User] E second year… no. first year,  second semester

[Assistant] first year, second semester? You  never buy pen?


[User] yeah.

[Assistant] so anyone wey you see, you go just pick, wether naw you get am or no be you get  am?


[User] ai… in'ajuaju?

[Assistant] Nna eeh… your own  better o


[User] Ah.. the thing be say during that first year, I dey buy biro almost every week. I say ah ah .. which one? If I buy biro just today, tomorrow them go thief am, I say ok naw.. I no go buy again. Na how I start my own thieving. So that is it

[Assistant] ok..your.. where you are angry is that if you buy biro, after 2, 3 times, they  will steal it


[User] they will  steal it…

[Assistant] so,you don’t know who dey steal am or  wetin?


[User] I don’t know o

[Assistant] So na im you come vex say like.. since then you  never buy pen


[User] I never buy pen

[Assistant] Nna eh.. people dey o.. ah! People dey. So on how any day wey you no carry pen come school, na him be say, wetin go happen?


[User] Hia.. any day, I must see pen that day o

[Assistant] … ok.. any day that you go to school , you  must see pen.


[User] even the worst one be say, one day, I thief person phone, person biro dey come write one lecturer call me say dey wan write test, the person come dey beg me  for that biro..I borrow am the biro, him no know say na him biro be that thing.He later bring am back, come dey thank me;  bros thank you.

[Assistant] let me get you, you stole the person’s biro and the time came for test, and the person didn’t have biro, and the person now 	came to you to beg you for the same biro that you stole from him..and you gave him the biro, and the person didn’t know that it is the biro and after, the person returned the biroand was even greeting you for.. laughs…imagine.. so you want to tell me that since first year second semester that you have not used any pen that you used your money to buy?..


[User] no …  I’ve not

[Assistant] ah.. it’s not easy o, you are telling me what I don’t know o


[User] ah… I tell you the reality.

[Assistant] hmm.. pen kwa.. ordinary pen


[User] na pen..but.

[Assistant] so any time wey we follow you now, you go dey find pen, anywhere wey you see pen you go dey.


[User] the reason.. that one no dey good…

[Assistant] the thing  off me… I see as you dey look the pen, dey look the pen like say the pen na five hundred, na im I come tell you, guy, how far naw… this one wey you dey look this pen. You wan pick am? You for tell me this story before we see the pen..sha. Anyway, the only thing that will happen, you know… anywhere wey I am going to, if I see pen, I wil call you to come and collect it.


[User] okay  naw

[Assistant] I hope you will come?


[User] sharp sharp I will come  naw

[Assistant] ok o.. no pick the one wey you no E go graduate o


[User] …no o.

[Assistant] because now, you fit pick the one wey be say, the owner go tell you say, anybody wey thief my pen no go graduate


[User] ah ah..na one na.. you be God?

[Assistant] anywhere wey you.. dem go tell you say na ordinary pen. He just picked pen that’s why he…


[User] that one no fit happen..

[Assistant] hmm… things dey happen o.. forget say things no dey happen.  You don’t know that things  dey happen?


[User] well..

[Assistant] or you want tell me say you no know say things  dey happen?


[User] things dey happen but no be say.. na matter…

[Assistant] but I have never seen this kind of person o. person wey since second year, im never buy pen. Im no dey use money buy pen.  Na people’s pen im dey use.  It’s not funny o; like seriously.. it’s not funny. The only funny part there is jusT that you have not used your money to buy pen. But anybody that you tell this will not believe o.. if I should.. how many pens will I see in your house, if I should come  to your house?


[User] ah.. the thing go  reach ten o.

[Assistant] eh?


[User] the thing go  reach ten

[Assistant] ten  people’s pen


[User] ehen.. the thing go  reach ten…

[Assistant] …ai..eh.. theatre and film studies o..chai.. so anywhere wey you go, if you just see pen, yougo just


[User] ah .. I go just juagugbem  am.

[Assistant] ok.. imagine say person dey your back, wetin you  go do?


[User] ah..na waa o.. you go think say na my pen  fall down o

[Assistant] ok.. the person go think say na your pen  fall down.


[User] yeah

[Assistant] Ah..na waa o


[User] Hello,  what’s up  naw? I’m Michael from Theatre and film studies and you; Na you get that paint wey dem use paint our faculty?  our faculty building?

[Assistant] Whether na me get  am?


[User] Eh..na you buy am? I been here say you follow this guy go buy am.

[Assistant] Guy, I no follow them o. That thing na rumour guy.


[User] Hmm…na people  wey, People wey buy that paint go chop  better money.

[Assistant] , Na better moni dem go chop naw. Dem go just budget like five hundred thousand,  go buy paint of let me say fifty thousand. So… na Naija  we dey naww ah.


[User] But actually, I don’t really like the colour of the paint.

[Assistant] They are not after the colour of the paint, all they know is that they have  done their job.


[User] Hmmm.. Na waa o. Moni dey for that paint o.  I swear.

[Assistant] Omo, moni dey naww, ah, if na you, guy You no go chop?   When you see any small small space to chop, 	guy, no need to waste time, oga.


[User] I.. the fact there is that even the lecturer  sef, I know that most of them might have eaten from the 	students because I heard that they were even contributing  three three hundred naira per student, each student  for the paint, 	imagine?

[Assistant] Actually, it’s true naw, because, if you take a look at what happened during our first semester exam, they will force you to pay fasal dues before entering into the exam hall which is not done before;maybe they have some  salaries they are getting from there, I think.


[User] No, the fasal dues that you are talking about, actually, you know that some students, rightfully, students should pay their fasal, their departmental dues and faculty dues before the exam. But, if you look at it now, some parents might have given their children their school fees  and the fasal dues but they won’t pay it; they will eat it up. So them not letting you into the exam hall, at least, it shows a sign of discipline.  Reason am naww. .

[Assistant] Guy, it is not a sign of discipline. We are paying much in this school. Go and  bring your school fees receipt, you will see there that you have paid for all those things but they will still force you to pay again. Is this thing not bribery and corruption?  It’s bribery and corruption  naww…


[User] Even this bribery and corruption, who will you report to? Who do you have access to?.

[Assistant] well, as far as Nigeria is concerned, you don’t have  access to anybody.


[User] hmmm… na waa o,  this is not fair , like seriously.

[Assistant] Actually it’s not fair, but you  cannot kill yourself.


[User] HOD, wetin you  get to talk naww?

[Assistant] HOD over to you.


[User] As business, as business, as it is….

[Assistant] HOD, so you like what they are doing to us or what? .


[User] Just that we don’t have freedom of speech. It’s like this, if you talk they will be like..eh.. it’s been in the constitution of the school that we have been doing this for over years and years… so it can’t be changed. So if we were given the opportunity to change it, I will change it. It’s not a must,  it’s not compulsory. .

[Assistant] But even though they give you the opportunity to go there,  na you go chop pass sef. You just dey complain like say you never reach. If you reach there now,  na you go like chop pass naww; true or false?


[User] everly,  everly.

[Assistant] money makes money. I tell you. .


[User] I know that money makes money, but at least, if you reach there now, you go like chop the one wey you never chop before. .

[Assistant] Na true naww, guy, no need to waste time, guy. Once dem give you something, guy, you go chow, guy. Chow on a kumkum level. .


[User] oh boy,  girls   dey this school o… You see this one  wey just pass?

[Assistant] I see am naw, I see am, guy.


[User] Omo eh..Na only girls dey give us joy  for this school.If girls no dey this school, I no go  dey this school… Nna na by seeing o. Na only seeing wey we dey see o. but na only seeing o.  just dey like say…

[Assistant] I dey tell you… you just use eye dey touch.


[User] Dey see, dey touch everything.

[Assistant] if you touch by force, guy, you go commit crime. You go enter jail


[User] like which kind crime? No be only touching?

[Assistant] ah.. guy, you go enter prison o


[User] where you think say he go  carry you go?

[Assistant] ah..ah.. forget o, no be say dem see everybody dey waka like this. You don’t know where  im  dey come from o


[User] Oga, e get as e be, you go  use leg bail yourself…

[Assistant] Guy,  if you use leg bail yourself, dem go still  find you come there, guy


[User] For the meantime naww...,  you go  use leg bail yourself  naww.

[Assistant] you say na light  dey when, yesterday?


[User] Dem  bring light yesterday

[Assistant] When  dem take the light?


[User] around eight, abi three… e be like say  na around two

[Assistant] why Paul phone go die, shey lister dey yesterday, una on lister, ba? Why him go dey talk say him phone don die? But you hear that matters naw… that Akuto own. You never hear am? You hear the..nna, e just  dey surprising… one Mariam?


[User] Yeah… eko Mariam.. the girl just dey pass, im dey come here everyday. So e get one day, as in.. e sick…

[Assistant] wetin you come ask am naw? you no tell am who ... am give am?


[User] I ask am naw. she tell me say, she call who.. is it Atamesiegha, sey Anonymous don go Ubaho

[Assistant] you no tell am say she dey mad? Na wetin I dey always tell you.. always on guard o..


[User] O that soildier ya na ya so

[Assistant] See as kutu go overboard. I come dey hear am


[User] ehen naww, na cilego..

[Assistant] Ok the person wey him follow with na Anonymous?


[User] Na cilego

[Assistant] that one wey get body?


[User] ok that im second?

[Assistant] Ehe naw, na yesterday I know say na im ...


[User] why im no gree ... am that day naw. Im come hide am; hide am

[Assistant] you know say two of them na ... soldiers


[User] and then?

[Assistant] you know say…


[User] E no matter naw… nnaa eh, How you go come for where your brothers dey and you no go say…

[Assistant] if na my brother wey from far place come here..


[User] Nnaa eeh.. soldier dey go down naww. say im be soldier no be for house…

[Assistant] after all sef eeh…


[User] im pass government?

[Assistant] no o… im no pass government.


[User] If im jonse,dem go gon am down.

[Assistant] na Anonymous naw..


[User] you know say Anonymous na old man

[Assistant] Oga…


[User] (on phone…) hello, Anonymous.

[Assistant] I come lagos before him naw


[User] ok.. You come lagos before am? No tell am. No reason am. Just tell am say I wan follow am talk.

[Assistant] Biko eeh.. gi na Anonymous o no nso?


[User] make I follow am talk

[Assistant] Anonymous no nso. Biko ige nyeya phone ka mu na ya kwo, biko o?


[User] make i follow am talk

[Assistant] M’na kpo numba ya. Im say im dey with am.


[User] Wait… im say im dey with am; Why im no give am phone

[Assistant] im no collect phone talk…


[User] you no know wetin im ask you?

[Assistant] call am back… call am back


[User] im say him dey with am.. him suppose give am phone make we…

[Assistant] im say im go buy food


[User] im go buy food. Now you know say rumor… Anonymous too dey carry rumour. Before you know am, dem don spread the news on unnecessary things wey no make sense.

[Assistant] Na same thing wey happen to me now. E get one of my uncle wey dey London. Dem call am say I dey prison


[User] Dem call am say wetin happen?

[Assistant] Dem call my uncle wey dey London, tell am say I dey prison.


[User] dem call your uncle we dey London…

[Assistant] London. Tell am say I dey prison.


[User] Nna eeh.. people will just dey talk nonsense nonsense. Na that thing enter me this morning wey you call me o. if you see as e take talk am eeh.. this guy call me.So many people don dey call me, send me Anonymous number; send me anonymous number. If I ask them wetin dey happen, they no go reply message again. That kind thing na jonsing naw. How far that guy naw wey him dey? Eeh?

[Assistant] im go bath


[User] eh? im go bath?

[Assistant] yeah


[User] im go wash am naww..

[Assistant] no na normal thing; im go wash am. No o.. this one, leave.. we will talk about his matter later.


[User] who?

[Assistant] you naw, you no get, you no get human conscience at all.This guy no get human conscience at all.. na why I just come tell am say make im...


[User] Bad man in the game.. bad man in the game

[Assistant] because when im tell me say the guy don dey ok, na him I say eh.. this guy, wetin Anonymous... Who knows wetin  Anonymous don do this man…


[User] ..He wanted to faint o...

[Assistant] The man no get human sympathy at all


[User] Guy you no understand…

[Assistant] Ok.. what they speak there is eeh Ndoki.


[User] Eeh.. Ndoki. Ndoki is in Rivers.. I went to somewhere.. one guy was like asking me where am I from in Anambra state. I’m from Abala. I wish.. and he was like Aguleri and all that kind of things.. I was like.. when I reach.. he was like I’m from Ngokpala and I’m in Rivers. Are you sure you know where you are from? I’m from Abala. I now explained to him and he was like ok ok I remember. That they cut out some part. That is just it.. silent talks…

[Assistant] but can you speak the…


[User] I can’t speak their language

[Assistant] ok. you don’t speak it.


[User] I have not really stayed that.. my community for sometime. I went there just to visit. And that’s a long… that’s only when I was in secondary.. primary school

[Assistant] your mum must have been a beautiful wife to have you. I wonder how she will look like


[User] my mum is beautiful. Let me just say.. she is.. situations dealt with her beauty, but she is very  modest.. she doesn’t dress that much. Simple dressing. I tell you each time my mummy is passing.. I say, chai, this woman is fine. Even when she came to see us in school.. me and my sister is in secondary school, then in Lagos state, that time she comes, all the boys in my class will be chasing her and I’d be saying.. are you people normal? and because, they will be whining are and she will now be playing along

[Assistant] Eeyaah…


[User] just that issues and all that.. she had to go through.. let’s just say she looks older now.. my mum is older than her age o. but you will not know that she has children. But then, you will never know. You’d think we are sisters. You’d think she is my elder sister

[Assistant] so how many are you


[User] we are five

[Assistant] how many girls?


[User] Three girls, then two boys. Young girls.. you think I’m the eldest. I’m the second girl, and second child. My elder sister is in the UK, my younger sister is in UK. My brother is in second year. My brothers are still in ss2 now. I don’t know the last one…

[Assistant] that’s very nice. That’s very nice and I know  all of them are as beautiful as you are.. your sisters.


[User] My younger sister is beautiful in her own way. My elders sister is beautiful in her own way. My brothers are handsome in there own way..

[Assistant] I’m just imagining how they will look like seeing you.. I’m just a kind of imagining how beautiful they will look like..and you know sometimes eeh.. younger ones look more beautiful than the older ones


[User] my phone is not that clear.. let me just.. it’s not here.. I thought I had a picture of them here..

[Assistant] that’s very nice.. that’s very nice of you.. that’s very nice.. and you wrote your JAMB just once…


[User] Because i got to notice that he had, he even had to go to the extent of renting a place for this girl..laughs..

[Assistant] Yeah.. he did


[User] and paid like four years.. like interval, you get

[Assistant] he did, he did


[User] he did so, so from the look of things, hmm… I’ve noticed about, I think..ok..listen.. my plan now was this, een. That’s why I said I thought of these things here.. I want to get a new phone I’m probably going to get it this week or next week, latest. So.. this phone is over a hundred and… ninety something. It’s an Iphone, 6X plus.. so, we’ve been discussing about it, so he’s been like..hmm.. how much do you have. I was like, what I have is just 40k o. so he now told me..eeh..you are a big girl o. 40k.  and I said, abeg, leave joor.. because he was like that.. ok, what do you have? Whatever you have, I’ll give you the remaining. I’ll add it up to you, for you to get it. So but aside that, I am.. I said I wanted an,  is it earpiece  abi.  what was that thing I said I wanted? abi. Ok he said, he has it. So he was now like i have to buy. I was like, me? Like I have to buy earpod from your shop? Hello? although he said it jokingly, but I know that if I want to get that earpod now, he’s not going to give it to me for free. So you see it? So you see that if I don’t start now like to stop this, because I have noticed that maybe he has seen that I am a bit comfortable, so he might withdraw

[Assistant] not a bit comfortable, you are comfortable.


[User] ok he might decide to start withdrawing. Another reason is that I feel he is not really, like yet sure of me. Concerning money wise. Because of how many expenses he has made for that other girl. Which is wrong which is not supposed do. And you know why? Because we all had bad experiences and then when new people come into our lives and you see that they are good people, don’t use the fact that your bad experience, this is what he did to you, then you should use the same method on this current situation now

[Assistant] yeah, sure


[User] because when you want to use that current situation, that past situation for this current one, it might destroy a whole lot of things because you might be doing it for actually the right person and it might drive the right person away.

[Assistant] away.


[User] you understand. Because the way he is just.. he will just be ringing it into my ear. Hey! I don’t have money o. I don’t have money o. I don’t have money o. blablablablabla. i’ll just keep quite.  You understand. So that is why I am just like...

[Assistant] it seems like our mind just got..


[User] seriously.. seriously… I thought of it, I said this morning before I left the house, I thought of it, my mind just kept on telling me that, babe no like, be like you don’t really have this and you don’t really.. let’s see if he can, not that maybe when you say now.. when he says he doesn’t have money.. he doesn’t have money. Now my plans is that eeh.. see what’s going on.. if there are so many important things or few important things that I’ve really said Anonymous please can you help me out?.. and then for three or four consecutive times, he repeats the same thing, I don’t have, I don’t have, I don’t have, right? I’m going to quit. I don’t know if you get my point, because it’s of no use. Instead he is going to be gaining more from me.

[Assistant] and whenever he starts gaining more from you, he will now, it won’t give him the urge now to be, you know, to be buckling up with works,


[User] yeah..

[Assistant] you know, because now, he will now relax that money, even though that he works or he does not work, that money will definitely come.


[User] you understand. So, so it’s that bad. The way he..he is like,  so many responsibilities now blablabla and this and that, I just, I just wanna be quite alone. Although he has even asked me, I should just make a wish that whatever, that whatever I want..I should let him know. I didnt like want to make that wish yet.

[Assistant] ok. do you know.. I want you to give him a test. That… earpiece that you say you want to buy, how much is it? that is.. how much is it?


[User] earpod

[Assistant] earpod


[User] earpod na agala onu

[Assistant] ego ole? How much?


[User] four thousand

[Assistant] four thousand.. get like, get like call him.. ask him where he is.. get like two thousand or one five. Give him, tell him that you need the earpod.


[User] I will, but I am starting with the phone, first.. let me see if he can.. since he is saying, he doesn’t have money, he doesn’t have money. Let me see if he can be able to bring out that money to add up to the phone because it’s huge. That one is huge. You know it is what pains you more. What really pains you more is where you really gain from

[Assistant] sure


[User] I don’t know if you understand. So, let me see how it’s going to be for him. Let me see if he is really going to get it, bring out the money for the phone. If he brings out money for the phone, fine!

[Assistant] ok.. how much did he tell you?


[User] all I have is just 40k. I don‘t know how much he has o. I didn’t even care. I didn’t go to ask him how much do you have to give to me.

[Assistant] ok.. so how long have you discussed about the phone, for now?


[User] during last week, this week and the reason is because, we are not static about the price. Although we are supposed to order I think day before yesterday online, he orders phone online, you understand, but then, the colour and then the gigabyte we saw is not much. It’s just 3gig and it’s 91k and there is one of my friend that got Iphone 7plus in my lodge for one hundred and fifty thousand.

[Assistant] and that is why you wan to buy it…


[User] new one

[Assistant] so... buy what? What’s that?


[User] the  phone that’s why you want to buy it..

[Assistant] no. I’m not buying 7plus o what I’m getting g is 6X plus


[User] what happened to this one?

[Assistant] it’s bad and apart from it’s bad, I want to give it to my mum. My mum’s phone is very very bad. Like very bad. So if I get that one, I am going to give her this one. Or better still, I might just send her money to get a better phone. Ama’m..You know I phone has…, o nwere ka iphone si eme. A lot of things, you download, download ,download, I don’t really want…


[User] ok.. you are using iphone 6 or 7, right?

[Assistant] no. I’m using Iphone 7plus.


[User] Iphone 7plus, right? ok

[Assistant] so I’d check for it. So what we are just waiting for is if that.. if the guy I asked in my logdge, once he gets back to me from the person he got his own from, because he actually got it at a very cheap price. You can’t get a new Iphone 7 now for one fifty. It’s not possible. So I think the prices differ with those who are dealing with…How much they pay for tax and for shipping,  you understand? That’s why the phone prices differ a lot. So I just asked him, so he will get back to me this Tuesday. So whatever the guy says, I will now tell him. So you can know exactly how much we are getting for the phone, did you get? since I am having 40k. let’s see how much he is getting. I don’t know if you understand? That’s the idea


[User] ok naw.. that’s very good. That’s very good. I like, I like the idea

[Assistant] so apart from that…


[User] I like the idea..

[Assistant] I am also looking at his temperament issue. I will want to see how bad,how far we can go. And if it is something I can’t really deal with,  me I'm number one sef:   Me sef hmm…, I can get angry too but not that kind of violent. My own is that.. the thing is that if I am angry with you.. if I am angry with you.


[User] I don’t want to laugh…

[Assistant] if I am angry with you, the least I can do is.. I just want to keep quite. I just don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk to anybody or if I am angry, I could just say things to you that might mtchew.. that might hurt you o and then later you might be telling me.. I don’t know how to talk o, but that is because of my anger, normal, normal on a normal day, everybody knows Esther is a very cool and very nice person, you understand? So apart from that, but I know that Anonymous’s anger..eeh.. Anonymous’s anger is bad, it’s bad. why are you laughing? Is it that you have not experienced a whole lot of stuffs that he has done?


[User] ah.. he is my very good friend, aah.. very good friend..

[Assistant] He beats ladies, abi?


[User] no o . The only sin I have seen him slapped a girl when that girl insulted the mum in her presence. I know he slapped her.

[Assistant] I think he also beat her with belt


[User] That’s… I saw slap o. na only slap wey I see, I no know the other ones o. I just… im just slap am I begin comot.. I no.. because he’s…

[Assistant] oh, you left totally?


[User] I left them naw..wetin you want make I do again? Na family issue

[Assistant] he said he beat her like…


[User] na family issue, so I no need even begin tell dem see seesee..na family matters. That was why I left.

[Assistant] I thought he slapped.. he slapped her and he had to start beating her with belt that she was the one that had to run away from the house.


[User] that girl is very very very insultive…

[Assistant] how did he manage to stay with her for that long? You see that men eehh…


[User] he cannot toast a girl.. forget about he.. his type, he don’t even have time to start like mcheew..if.. if you should know him very well, he don’t have time..

[Assistant] I know..


[User] ..like to stop a girl and… he doesn’t even know what he will tell the girl sef. Ighota go. That was why when you are telling me.. that your guy no dey call person, I was like mtcheew.. you should know this guy wey I dey tell you. Imagine, he called me and was like, guy? How far naw? wetin I go tell the girl? Wetin, wetin I go tell…

[Assistant] No tell am o.. like no.


[User] how I go tell am

[Assistant] no tell am


[User] whatever me and you discuss here is not getting to his ears()he was like, guy how far naw, wetin I go tell..you say that girl na your class babe, right? Nna eh, wetin you go tell am about me, make I know..?   wetin you tell am about me make I know wetin I go tell am.. mu siya, guy talk to am naw.. follow am talk.. ok should I call her? call her out make we just dey joint Or what? Osi… but I go like make you dey that day o.. that day wey me and am go sawa.. I go like make you dey that day…so, I was like, guy, how far naw? follow the girl talk naw,what’s your problem? O si’ m mtchew..hi..guy...  this girl fine o..but you sure say she go gree? Laughs..I tell am say.. person wey you never follow talk na why you dey, you dey ask me whether.  So, if it is for him, mtcheew, he doesn’t have time for girls, you get it? He cannot even stop a girl and toast a girl. He will.. he is just seeing it as maybe he’s he’s insulting himself or whatever

[Assistant] and Anonymous... Anonymous can carry himself.. o nwere how Anonymous  na like I para onwe ya..


[User] he is pompous..

[Assistant] eeh…I no know, I no know how to take call am.. but not that kind.. im pride no dey bad o..


[User] yeah..

[Assistant] it’s not bad. He no get that kind dirty pride..


[User] yeah, he’s neat

[Assistant] I think he has a whole lot of self respect


[User] yeah

[Assistant] he has a whole lot of self respect


[User] like he’s comfortable with the one he has, you get it? So that’s just it. it’s just with this little time I spent with him, I know, the thing is…

[Assistant] Nna guy, you understand anything for wetin that man dey yan for class today?


[User] The man just dey… Na only one hour na im my mind...

[Assistant] Nnaa eeh… that course sef, I no know how this semester go be o


[User] Na only one, na only one hour my mind dey for that class, guy. After one hour, any thing wey him dey talk, if e enter, im go comot, if e enter, im go comot.

[Assistant] I just dey reason how we fit pass that course o… (laughter)…


[User] No… Everly, to pass am no be must o.

[Assistant] The man come talk say the least wey you go get that course na B. guy, I no come understand!


[User] wait, like I don’t understand, the man said the least I will get his course is B

[Assistant] B! say that course, the course dey easy. Ah.


[User] I dey reason am o guy.  That course no dey easy to understand o.

[Assistant] I no understand shishi, shingbai


[User] You no understand anything?.

[Assistant] I dey tell you, guy


[User] Ok, me that didn’t even attend the class sef, what will I have to say? I didn’t even write attendance..

[Assistant] You be fake student naw.You go fail am … odogwu…


[User] you know the course code?

[Assistant] I no even know the man wey una dey talk….


[User] You know the name of the course?

[Assistant] Make we just start like say, the man, the… the man wey even get the course, the name of the man wey get the course.


[User] Your own na federal case, guy

[Assistant] I dey tell you.


[User] No, the only thing I know is that failure is not my problem.

[Assistant] failure is not your problem…


[User] Because so many people have failed and they have actually succeded.

[Assistant] That’s rational choice  naw.


[User] That’s exactly what the man entails

[Assistant] Talking about rational choice, area of rationalism… Chai…


[User] You lost your...?

[Assistant] my love for pepper


[User] you lost your love for pepper

[Assistant] yeah.. even when I cook stew…


[User] why did you lost your love for pepper?

[Assistant] that time.. my room mate does not eat pepper.. so, he was acting as if he had ulcer.. so


[User] ah.. if you don’t.. if you don’t put pepper in your food, won’t you vomit?

[Assistant] won’t?


[User] won’t you vomit?

[Assistant] that’s when it does happens to me. But not my room mate that has.. you understand


[User] it won’t digest.. it won’t even go well.. like it won’t even be going free

[Assistant] that’s why.. I now feel like I actually.. consider that my room mate… for now I have gone back to eating pepper..            I must eat pepper very very well.


[User] ah! If I should test food that there is no pepper..hmm.. I won’t eat it o… because definitely I know that I must vomit it and that one is a must, I must vomit the food. I must vomit the food..

[Assistant] I'm going home


[User] Rest small naw.. this one that you just finish eating..,but I hope you enjoyed the meal?

[Assistant] Atleast it has killed my hunger


[User] it reduced your hunger not that you are…

[Assistant] it has erased my hunger


[User] ok…

[Assistant] But the taste.. only the moimoi is manageable. I’ve not eaten moimoi in a long while so I can’t judge. But for the rice, even since money, I can’t eat that rice.. that’s it. You know that this people ... me  naw. I don’t know if they are stingy with the resources to spend and cook that food or they don’t have people that can cook


[User] but actually you know that as it is tasteless in your mouth; Others won’t complain  naw. Maybe it might be more sweeter in their mouth or more… very good in their mouth, you know…

[Assistant] the issue is that when you are used to.. when you are used to average stew


[User] it’s because…

[Assistant] And you know… my mum can cook. My mummy cannot eat this food. One spoon she will just throw it away and order another …


[User] _ and that’s why you complained about the food because you can cook. If actually you cannot cook, you couldn’t have complained about the food… you get it?

[Assistant] not that I can cook o..


[User] no o… I observed so many things pertaining to what you have said. It’s because you can cook. You can cook             delicious meal and that’s why you noticed the fault that the food is faulty. That’s where you picked out what made the food faulty.             You get it?

[Assistant] my mum is the best cook that cooks the best food


[User] your mum is the best cooker. so how will you know that? How do you know that?

[Assistant] The day.. actually her food is tasty.. any time I eat outside.. that’s why I don’t like to eat outside because it 	doesn’t equal. So the day I noticed it .. the day I will actually..ok.. before I’d go to school.. before I came to school


[User] she cooked for your pastor’s son during his wedding

[Assistant] He didn’t contract her.. she doesn’t cook. She doesn’t do that kind of thing.. the woman cooking is her friend. She come and help her out. The one she cooked herself was the one everyone was rushing. ,,, people love that food.. because of that, her food was in the more supply.. people like it. Even the bride’s maid..


[User] ok.. she cooked the whole food?

[Assistant] not like she cooked the whole food..


[User] ok.. the official food for

[Assistant] the official food like.. the person they contracted can cook. But she called my mum that my mum should come and assist her. The one my mum cooked is the one those people are rushing


[User] ok..

[Assistant] she even gave me from that one.. before I was eating from the general food. But when she gave me that on.. where was I all this while? This food is very delicious… ah..so mummy can cook like this? And because we are at home, we are not appreciating it


[User] so what’s your best favorite food that you can prepare, your favorite…

[Assistant] I don't know what I can prepare..ah..


[User] ok which one ..

[Assistant] I don’t think I can cook that much. I don’t cook that much.. but the one I enjoy preparing is stew.


[User] stew…

[Assistant] I enjoy preparing stew a lot


[User] stew?

[Assistant] Before, it used to be beans.. like if I am making my beans, I take my time …but now it’s stew.. I just enjoy cooking stew.. when I mean stew..


[User] that’s very nice.. at least.. I know.. looking at you with the things that you have said, I know  that you can cook for Africa..

[Assistant] I just pray that I can cook.. my younger sister cooks a lot better


[User] but you can cook.. just accept the fact that you can cook

[Assistant] you say make we dey talk about money naw I no just.. nnaa eeh… you too dey talk...


[User] Money na wetin i need now o

[Assistant] you too dey talk about money issue o, wetin dey happen?


[User] wetin I need now na laptop o. you no see, guy ah.. e get one benz wey I see this morning.. chineke.. if you see the sound.. wooou.. 	eh… come dey wonder, which kind.. which kind generator come get this sound.. eh.. as I come look, come see something wey be like bat, the thing black.. see the wheels.. chineke…guy.. omo as I come see am.. I come tire.. that time I dey come school naww, as I come see the car, I come weak, I come decide say.. ai.. e be like say I no go go school again oo. Make I go start, make I go start yahoo. Cos I know 	say na small boy wey I go senior with how many years wey go dey inside that motor so, na im me I carry leg dey suffer, dey come school. 	Ai.. I laugh.. guy, how e go be naww, how e go be.. you sabi any connection? Make we start this thing.

[Assistant] Nna eh.. I no too sabi connection o.. the only thing wey dey there be say make we just dey pray, person wey ride benz, if you no ride 	benz today naww, tomorrow you go still ride benz naww. you reason am naww.


[User] the thing be say no time… time no dey again. Reason am naww. how many years you don stay this nonsense school? Person still dey suffer

[Assistant] But listen  naw.. do you know that you can be  more.. do you know that it seems like you can be more better than that person. Do you know?


[User] I know naww. but the thing be say time no dey. Dem don excel ah ah.. you still dey here dey suffer, you no know wetin go happen. One thing to one thing, Nna sickness go catch you. Where you wan see money treat.. as in suffer all these thing come pay for hospital bill 	again.. where you go see money run this kind thing. So check am naww… if if sickness hold you. Like this one I no dey chop well. You check am, to feed na wahala and you know say small thing ulcer go catch person. Ulcer dey kill o.. so reason am naaw. No time again o. if 	you get connection, abeg just jam me make I know as he dey be

[Assistant] the connection that you are even.. the connection that you are even talking about is still the money itself. Because when you have money, you have connection, do you get it? So what you will be talking about is how to make the money not even the connection because the connection is not the problem. Once you have the connection. Once you get the money, you have the money, you know you have the money. You make good use of the money,  you get it? It’s just as if.. make I just put am like say guy you get like 50m for account now, you know say no be this things you go dey talk again


[User] ah no be.. ah ah.. if you get 50m…

[Assistant] if you get 50m now,  if you wan see Anonnymous, any person.. even Anonnymous.. if you wan see Anonnymous now now now, you know say you 	go get the contact now now now to see Anonnymous..


[User] yeah yeah.. sure sure sure

[Assistant] so na the thing be that o.


[User] if that kind money dey my account, I go seat down here with you?

[Assistant] you dey mad… you dey mad…


[User] I for dey one hotel dey arrange myself with one hot babe

[Assistant] ok.. you sure say no be this thing na because say God never wan give you money…


[User] no na… ah.. you ma sef reason am. Without woman man no go survive o

[Assistant] nna eh..


[User] if woman no dey this world, wetin you go dey here dey do kwanu?

[Assistant] but sometimes I’m just imagining it.. the type of girls that we are seeing today, I’m just imagining when God say that he that findeth 	a wife, findeth a good thing. and you in the world know that women are not a good thing


[User] I tell you.. I tell you ..you know what’s up nwanne

[Assistant] E get the woman wey you go jam  your life will never remain the same


[User] I dey tell you.

[Assistant] no be say…


[User] sha.. everything na prayer

[Assistant] everything na prayer, my brother


[User] everything no be yahoo o.. maybe you go see girl, you go see girl.. she go dey nice.. as in she go make sens. If you reason him 	matter.. him go say him papa get money.. ah.. before.. like play like play.. you just give am belle.. intentionally give am belle. You go marry am by force because dem get money. Like that like that, you don blow o..

[Assistant] if I see, if I even see girl wey I sure say her parents get money.. wetin you want.. wetin you think say I dey wait for?


[User] ah.. the thing be say they scarce..

[Assistant] They scarce naww…


[User] Some their papa go get money but they go dey hide am. They go dey hide am as in

[Assistant] They dey hide am say wetin happen?


[User] ah.. make boys no too come naww. You know those kind people, to get boyfriend no dey hard them. As they just do their finger like this… kpam… all the guys wey dey go gather. They go just dey use eye dey take eye look select one wey dem want. No be like guys naww, your papa get money now, you go still dey pursue girl, you go still dey pursue girl.. you pursue this one, you pursue this one… dem go still dey chop you on top. But girls get sense. Guy.. he get the kind mind wey girls get, like the kind mind wey be say dem papa go get 	money, they go still dey manage their life. if dem get.. dem go must wan dey with one boyfriend.. like this dem go dey spend money on top 	the guy. Na why I say if I just meet this kind girl, I don blow o. I don blow be that I no get problem again..

[Assistant] Nna eh… the worst part there is now just to pray to God , you know.. I strongly believe that God is the ultimate and not, no other... some even tell you  sef there is no God but no matter what we still believe that there is still God


[User] They are just praying to enter the house, when they now enter the house, they will now deal with you.

[Assistant] when they will be praying in tongue, God any man at all. Any man of your choice.


[User] it was then.. it’s no longer now. A lady can stay comfortable on her...

[Assistant] it’s still now dear… let me tell you dear, it’s still now. Do you know that there are girls that are praying just…


[User] even some parents.. see let me tell you, I have a friend of mine, she is almost 40. Her parents are very rich. They don’t even care 	whether she is working or she wants to marry. She is taking care of her father’s company. She doesn’t need a man. She said that she 	doesn’t need a man, that if she wants a child, she will go and adopt it two or three. ...annoying thing with any guy, nobody should 	come and stress her.

[Assistant] ok ok let me burst your brain now. Do you know that there is no girl on this earth, no matter how rich you are, without a man you are not comfortable.


[User] you are not what?

[Assistant] you are not comfortable without a man. No matter how rich you are and no matter how wealthy or the asset you have…


[User] you will have that feeling as a human being. let me tell you, it’s just a feeling thing. You are going to have that feeling, it’s a normal thing. It happens- even now.. even as a single girl, at times you would be saying I wish I have a boyfriend. You don’t understand? 	I am just telling you that it’s just with time. If you just have that feeling, it goes.. it is not a temporal kind of situation

[Assistant] yeah


[User] the thing  just comes and goes. is not that they don’t feel like they need a man, they don’t. they still feel it. Maybe, they now be like chai.. I wish I have a man that will just be here.. but…

[Assistant] ok.. get this now… ok wait.. now let me ask you now, as you are now, you have a comfortable car, you have a comfortable house, you are ok. you eat anything you want…


[User] if I know that a man will give me headache in the morning… guy, I no dey do. Do you know what I will do? Unto he is a cheat, I will just go to one particular club, I’d look for one fine bobo, get his attention, he will now take me to any one room, I’d tell him don’t use anything.. after that day,  nna I’m gone. He will not see my face.. before you know it, I’d be pregnant and have my kid in my house. 	I’d train the person, the person will tell me mother, aunty..ai..

[Assistant] And definitely the kid will actually ask you, mum, where is my dad? You get it?


[User] I picked you somewhere. I picked you from somewhere, your mother dumped you..shooor… this world have… mehn…

[Assistant] it’s not.. I don’t agree with you


[User] Where are you taking me to?.. E say let’s be going first naw. so immediately I noticed that we are going to  like eeh.. cos I was really a bit scared and I was trying to be careful. So we now went to the bar. That’s where we stayed o throughout. I said thank God cos had It been .. had it been…

[Assistant] no naw


[User] ah guy

[Assistant] no naw


[User] guy I was saying has it been…

[Assistant] I am not that rough, no. I don’t have rough friends  naww, no


[User] had it been you did that, omo, I for just

[Assistant] no naww


[User] and from that day sef…

[Assistant] he cannot even, he cannot even try it..  no naww…


[User] so I noticed..

[Assistant] I cannot introduce you to such people  naww.


[User] so I got comfortable

[Assistant] no naww..., orube m like that


[User] so I got comfortable with him. We started gisting, and I think I noticed that he is kind of a bit shy.  You understand.

[Assistant] ok you..


[User] so I made it easier for him

[Assistant] So you even noticed…


[User] yeah, I made it easier for him. That’s why one of his friends from school here <TS> <P> sef that’s in final year came to join us that day

[Assistant] he called me that day to come, but I called you, you didn’t pick up. I called you like two times


[User] I think my phone was on silence

[Assistant] you didn’t pick up. So I felt like.. maybe you never wanted me to come around. I knew that you must have seen my missed call. 	 That if actually you wanted me to come around that day, that you would have called me. He now called me to come. I told him that I am not coming


[User] you for come o

[Assistant] no .. he


[User] he told me that you were going to come. It was even you we were wating for…

[Assistant] no he called me and I told him I was not coming.. I didn’t even give him any reason. It was when we saw. We met somewhere that I 	told him that.. the reason why I didn’t come; I called 	you you didn’t pick up. And I knew that you might have seen my call that if actually you 		called me, you get it.. so that is my own lifestyle o. I have mtcheew.. the way I live my life my own.. that’s just it. So that’s when I chatted you 	up and told you to always use your number six that’s all about it. Nothing less, nothing more. <ITS> <E-P> Nna eeh.. how far? I tell you make you find better 	babe for me I no understand,  you get first year or second year?…


[User] which one… ? me get friends for first year or second year?

[Assistant] you no get any sharp babe wey…


[User] I no dey talk to any of them o. eeh.. as I be like this, I just dey on my own o. I dey on a low. Na im Anonnymous dey look me 	dey tell me say, these days you just dey on a low. I say no be to dey on a low na im better. You want make I dey …

[Assistant] wetin happen between you and this girl..wetin be her name.. Anonnymous. I no dey too see you with am..wetin


[User] Anonnymous?

[Assistant] yeah..Anonnymous?


[User] since first year.. we are  not friends again..

[Assistant] wetin happen? Wetin play? I noticed that…


[User] she no be my kind of person

[Assistant] wetin play?<


[User] how many friends you don see Anonymous change through out our first year till now…

[Assistant] so many of them..wetin play..


[User] eeh… so many  naww.. she no be my kind of person

[Assistant] wetin happen..


[User] I been get problem, that time with my bank issue for police, person wey be my friend, she no even come visit me. She no even 	say whats’sup..nothing.. she just.. so, I mark am bad. 	Omo, guy anybody wey no dey with you when you no..

[Assistant] no be that thing..wetin..wetin..


[User] I’m serious.. which thing.. which other thing you hear? Which other thing you hear?

[Assistant] ok naw.. the thing just..


[User] hia..omo what I concluded in my heart was.. anybody who is not with you during very difficult time is not a friend. Cut off that person. That was what I did. Simple. I had a very 	serious police issue in my first year o with my bank account. My first guy,  the guy put me 	for trouble o.

[Assistant] wetin happen? im put money for your…


[User] Im put .. im sell my account give the yahoo people naw, he sell my account, sell my atm give yahoo people. That time, 	owu na sam. O God. This life, I don suffer for this life. Owu dey saala’m that time. Sell account just to get money. Na wetin bring up that issue. And my popsy dey very stubborn. Im say if no be Diamond bank account say im no go send me money that time. Popsy come push me five bay that time I dey dey waste almost two weeks say I won withdraw 5k. na diamondbank. Omo that day dem just carry…

[Assistant] But is she all that rude?


[User] you don go close to am? Go close to am make you know naw.

[Assistant] no.. tell me naw


[User] yes naw.. she is not my kind of person

[Assistant] so she can give somebody attitude, like …


[User] no be my kind of person

[Assistant] eh?


[User] she is not my kind of person

[Assistant] just tell me more about her..just..


[User] wetin you won know about her? You won toast her?

[Assistant] no naw.. ah. Toast her say wetin happen


[User] why you won know about her? You no dey come class? If you see person wey be ayaraya too much, you no dey know?

[Assistant] so she might be rude with his boyfriend like that or what?


[User] she is rude with which boyfriend? I don’t know o.. you can’t compare..

[Assistant] she doesn’t have a boyfriend..


[User] you can’t compare.. how am I supposed to know? Do you know since when we are no longer friends? I don’t know anything about her personal life o, I don’t know anything about her personal life. Since first year. How I want take know whether she get boy friend abi she no get boyfriend o.. I no know o. I don’t have  an idea ama ram.. and achoro m ima. Everybody 	just dey mind their business now and na im be the best and you might not have an actual info. If she get new boyfriend onye obula eburu uwa ya foo…I don’t know she is just.. forget about her.

[Assistant] E just get.. e get too many things wey I been don hear about her which..


[User] so many things wey you don hear about her

[Assistant] so many things wey you don hear about am. Some… e been get...Marvy gist?


[User] Anonymous.. who be Anonymous..

[Assistant] marvelous naw


[User] me and Anonymous dey talk? All those guys, na normal greetings we dey do. No be if I give you face wey.. if I give you better face na when you go talk with me. Ighota..  so that is me.  Person wey I fit even follow talk na only Anonymous and this guy, because me and dem don too rapour and from first year till now, na me and them. Both two of dem, Anonymous and wetin be im name.. Anonymous. Unless say maybe I jam them or sometimes dem go call me dem go dey dey call me. Make we dey come together. All of us go just dey talk. Apart from there… Marvins dey crush on am?

[Assistant] yeah..


[User] I for say. you know say na all those guys dey know gist gist about people for class. I no dey know.. me I no get time, I no won even know. I no won know at all..

[Assistant] nobody get time o. time no dey at all. Time no dey at all.  So that is it, baby. Na wetin I tell you for phone, always use your number six. You get it, but I’m not telling you thing 	just for you to be… if actually he has actually done it for the girl he feels or he felt ..ya. He felt that he loved.. then he should also do it to you because he has told you that he loves you, you get it. Your case wouldn’t be different


[User] shouldn’t be different, I don’t know o..

[Assistant] ighota..  it’s still the same love, it’s still the same four letter words.  You get it. So love is love. Since ome go yandinko 	o si no o love. He should also do it 	for you. Because he loves the girl. He love.. he once love the girl now he loves you very well more than her.  You get it? So that’s guys for you. That’s guys for you. Everybody have actually experienced.. many experience.. many… if I start my own eeh,.. you will even run away  At a time I was like mtcheew.. guy how far naww.. no date any girl again


[User] I swear..cos.. I believe in first things first.. first things first..

[Assistant] it came to a point.. I .. like I .. I .. my head was scattered. I stopped dating any girl. When I need you, I call you.. when I need you.. 	when I want to 	satisfy my emotional 	feelings, I start calling you and once I’m done with you.. that’s I’m done.. when once I’m done with you, I’m done with you. Once I’m done with you, I’m done with 	you. I started having them all around feeling that that will solve my problem but at a time I said..mtcheew..I realized that it’s not even helping matters. It’s not even helping issues at 	all. They will see you with this girl next time.. people will say stupid things. A time came that I cannot, let me tell you the truth, I cannot stay without a girl for like one week, like one 	week. I cannot stay without a girl for one week. It became a problem for me o. like habit. Habit mu kusiri kwe onwe’m o. it became problem for me Personally that I can’t stay a week without staying with a girl. For me, It became a problem. I started telling it to my guys.. they felt that maybe I was joking. I started telling them, see .. guy see wetin my problem be. I cannot stay one week without a girl. They were laughing at me. But I thank God.. I .. from there, I .. but actually it wasn’t easy for me. Have you imagined dating a girl for like four years, you dated a girl for four years.On..ok.. December last year. Yeah.. December last year. She called me to come around. Ok. she called me to come to her house because normally I don’t like visiting girls, going to girl’s house


[User] why be say most guys no dey like visit girls for their house? How una dey do am

[Assistant] nnaeeh.. anything fit play o. anything fit play


[User] like wetin

[Assistant] I no know o. but anything fit play. Anything fit play. Like anything fit play.


[User] even Anonnymous said, even when he rented that house for that girl, that he has never visited her.

[Assistant] no o..


[User] why im no dey go the poor girl's house. Why im go my own. Im come my house naww

[Assistant] but he was not comfortable ..


[User] aye… before… ima na Anonnymous adighi eri nri, Jesus!. What made.. what even made him agree was that it was like a trade by batter, if you don’t come to the house to eat, I’m not following you home. That was it o. that was it.and Chibuzor doesn’t want me like at that period, let me just get closer closer to him..maka..because he doesn’t want to I know like think too 	much about that his ex girl friend like he said. I don’t know. And because he really want us to get to know each other a little at least than when we are apart. That’s why he even came. If not. May be to even say it again for him to come, it would be war

[Assistant] ... no o .. I don’t like going to girl’s house. For me personally, I don’t know for other guys


[User] sincerely, he has problem.

[Assistant] mtcheew.. I find it very difficult to do it. And even though if a girl calls me to come and meet her where she is, I don’t like it.. I don’t like it. It’s very hard for me to come and meet you where you are. Like..not.. like… not of the one you called me yesterday oo.. that one is different.. you are in this bar and I should come around. I don’t actually like it for security reasons. And I don’t like going to a girl’s house for security reasons also. Anything can happen. But when you come to my house, na me get house, I know as im dey be , if im play, I know how far, you get it?


[User] it’s true..

[Assistant] if anybody joins, I know how far. So that’s just it, that’s just it.. that’s just it, baby..


[User] na waa o.

[Assistant] I know, I have tried to like, a little bit like, I have annoyed him. Although, I have already told him initially before that I can be very annoying..


[User] Adjust

[Assistant] But don’t adjust, because I feel that whenever conflict happens between two people, that’s when you get to know their real character.


[User] Sure. That was what I told you initially.

[Assistant] That is when you get to know the real you. Seriously, because I know Anonymous with what I have noticed, his anger, his temperament is high.


[User] Yeah.. ehen..

[Assistant] It’s very very high.


[User] Now, babe, babe, there is this thing I want to tell you. Emmm… I know. Hmm… I know you are balanced. You are very very balanced, financially and otherwise. Now, I don’t want you, I don’t want you  to be showing him that you are ok, like you are ok

[Assistant] do you know that thing came to my mind this morning


[User] I don’t know oo.. but…

[Assistant] I swear, this idea. It came to me. I don’t know why it came to me o.


[User] That’s how it just rang into my mind now. And when I like.. when.. when.. when I like you, I tell you things,   you get it. Don’t show him that financially, that you are ok. Don’t show him that you can do this, you can do that. No. But be on a neutral

[Assistant] Neutral level


[User] Level. You get it?

[Assistant] Yes


[User] When you see that there is no other options again; that is when you can come in. <TS> <P> you get it? ()

[Assistant] yeah.


[User] Because, if.. if.. a guy know, when you meet a guy, and he sees that there are some stuff…and you he sees that.. and you start giving him the impression that you can

[Assistant] that you can do things


[User] you can do things,

[Assistant] he’d forget the things that he is supposed to be doing


[User] yeah, be doing. Yeah,  you get it?

[Assistant] it’s true


[User] you can even stay with him, once you have given him that impression, you will see that, once you start staying with him, some sometimes, he will tell you, ah.. he doesn’t have soap again to bath. Like, he doesn’t have cream

[Assistant] I know


[User] He might even call you, just.. Hallo, please, I need money, can you send me, can you make transfer… no no no no … you get it?  Because I have actually stayed with, I have actually dated so many girls and I know their character and their weak points and never you for now, for now, never you allow him to know where your weak points are. Never tell him your weak point

[Assistant] True


[User] Let him do the puzzle. If actually he truly loves you and knows where his.. because he has told me so many things,  you get it.. I know.. I won’t praise you o.. but let him, himself find out where your weak points are ()

[Assistant] What did he tell you


[User] That he don’t know how he will thank me for you... so let me not go into matters, issues, but please, I’m just begging you, don’t let him, don’t feel too big or that you have this or you have that. You can afford that, you can afford this, whenever you are with him. Even though you have, yeah, keep it up to you. When there is need for you to do it, you can still do it.  But don’t do it when he didn’t ask of it. Not that you shouldn’t be surprising him, but it should be at an extent, you know?

[Assistant] yeah


[User] Not always, because when he.., he now forms it as habit

[Assistant] Yeah..


[User] He will be looking up to you to be doing those things and whenever you don’t do it, you will know, he will now know that there is lapses again. There will start be lapses. Even though you can do it, yes, but put it up to him that it’s duty to do it, then when he now gives you the reason why he shouldn’t do it. Even if, even when he tells you that he cannot do it, he should give you reasons why he shouldn’t, he couldn’t do it. You get it?

[Assistant] yeah.. yeah..


[User] Because there is something I used to tell people, if I should call you on phone, babe how are you?where are you? You tell me, can you come to my house? My problem is not telling me no that you cannot come, my problem is giving me reasons why you shouldn’t want to come. Not you just telling me that you, you don’t want to, that you are not coming, hanging up the call. No… give me the reasons why you shouldn’t come. If I am ok with the reasons that you gave to me, I’d tell you that I am on, that I’m comfortable with the reasons,  you get it. So don’t… whenever you are with him, don’t actually show up that you can do this, you can, you know.. especially in monetary aspect.. so that he won’t take advantage of you. I won’t like in a situation where he will now take advantage of you. Maybe you and him will go out after eating, you’d pay for everything. It’s not , it’s not…()

[Assistant] I can’t even try that rubbish


[User] you get it? No… its .. Don’t tell me you can’t try that rubbish..

[Assistant] Please.. I gave that..


[User] You can do it.. not you cannot try it

[Assistant] You won’t even know when you will do it. You will think it’s love. Just for the sake of the love to be moving and that you don’t need trouble…


[User] I know, I have tried to like, a little bit like, I have annoyed him. Although, I have already told him initially before that I can be very annoying..

[Assistant] Adjust


[User] But don’t adjust, because I feel that whenever conflict happens between two people, that’s when you get to know their real character.

[Assistant] Sure. That was what I told you initially.


[User] That is when you get to know the real you. Seriously, because I know Anonymous with what I have noticed, his anger, his temperament is high.

[Assistant] Yeah.. ehen..


[User] It’s very very high.

[Assistant] Now, babe, babe, there is this thing I want to tell you. Emmm… I know. Hmm… I know you are balanced. You are very very balanced, financially and otherwise. Now, I don’t want you, I don’t want you  to be showing him that you are ok, like you are ok


[User] do you know that thing came to my mind this morning

[Assistant] I don’t know oo.. but…


[User] I swear, this idea. It came to me. I don’t know why it came to me o.

[Assistant] That’s how it just rang into my mind now. And when I like.. when.. when.. when I like you, I tell you things,   you get it. Don’t show him that financially, that you are ok. Don’t show him that you can do this, you can do that. No. But be on a neutral


[User] Neutral level

[Assistant] Level. You get it?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] When you see that there is no other options again; that is when you can come in. <TS> <P> you get it? ()


[User] yeah.

[Assistant] Because, if.. if.. a guy know, when you meet a guy, and he sees that there are some stuff…and you he sees that.. and you start giving him the impression that you can


[User] that you can do things

[Assistant] you can do things,


[User] he’d forget the things that he is supposed to be doing

[Assistant] yeah, be doing. Yeah,  you get it?


[User] it’s true

[Assistant] you can even stay with him, once you have given him that impression, you will see that, once you start staying with him, some sometimes, he will tell you, ah.. he doesn’t have soap again to bath. Like, he doesn’t have cream


[User] I know

[Assistant] He might even call you, just.. Hallo, please, I need money, can you send me, can you make transfer… no no no no … you get it?  Because I have actually stayed with, I have actually dated so many girls and I know their character and their weak points and never you for now, for now, never you allow him to know where your weak points are. Never tell him your weak point


[User] True

[Assistant] Let him do the puzzle. If actually he truly loves you and knows where his.. because he has told me so many things,  you get it.. I know.. I won’t praise you o.. but let him, himself find out where your weak points are ()


[User] What did he tell you

[Assistant] That he don’t know how he will thank me for you... so let me not go into matters, issues, but please, I’m just begging you, don’t let him, don’t feel too big or that you have this or you have that. You can afford that, you can afford this, whenever you are with him. Even though you have, yeah, keep it up to you. When there is need for you to do it, you can still do it.  But don’t do it when he didn’t ask of it. Not that you shouldn’t be surprising him, but it should be at an extent, you know?


[User] yeah

[Assistant] Not always, because when he.., he now forms it as habit


[User] Yeah..

[Assistant] He will be looking up to you to be doing those things and whenever you don’t do it, you will know, he will now know that there is lapses again. There will start be lapses. Even though you can do it, yes, but put it up to him that it’s duty to do it, then when he now gives you the reason why he shouldn’t do it. Even if, even when he tells you that he cannot do it, he should give you reasons why he shouldn’t, he couldn’t do it. You get it?


[User] yeah.. yeah..

[Assistant] Because there is something I used to tell people, if I should call you on phone, babe how are you?where are you? You tell me, can you come to my house? My problem is not telling me no that you cannot come, my problem is giving me reasons why you shouldn’t want to come. Not you just telling me that you, you don’t want to, that you are not coming, hanging up the call. No… give me the reasons why you shouldn’t come. If I am ok with the reasons that you gave to me, I’d tell you that I am on, that I’m comfortable with the reasons,  you get it. So don’t… whenever you are with him, don’t actually show up that you can do this, you can, you know.. especially in monetary aspect.. so that he won’t take advantage of you. I won’t like in a situation where he will now take advantage of you. Maybe you and him will go out after eating, you’d pay for everything. It’s not , it’s not…()


[User] I can’t even try that rubbish

[Assistant] you get it? No… its .. Don’t tell me you can’t try that rubbish..


[User] Please.. I gave that..

[Assistant] You can do it.. not you cannot try it


[User] You won’t even know when you will do it. You will think it’s love. Just for the sake of the love to be moving and that you don’t need trouble…

[Assistant] Nna eeh… I no reason am that yesterday at all, I swear


[User] Eeeh. No wahala

[Assistant] I don plan make I come. I no even know wetin happen. Person call me say make I come say make I come meet am say he get wetin him want make me and am run.  that was when I left and eh I even forgot to even call you. You know, so many things… so many things.  So.. How far naw?


[User] So, oya start talking. Because the way you sounded like, use your number six, I got like kind of scared, like I don’t know If you…

[Assistant] Scared?


[User] Ehen naw..

[Assistant] Scared, how?


[User] Scared like I don’t know if..

[Assistant] ok


[User] if you can be really be genuine or I don’t know.

[Assistant] I was even scared about the chat, you know… like..


[User] you are thinking it was him?

[Assistant] no… like … actually, I thought something like that. You know sometimes, I am always very careful or mindful of what I am doing. Sometimes. Infact, not sometimes, always. Anything might occur at anytime. I was even like;  I was like how far? why you go dey tell me make I dey …  why you go dey ask me that kind thing at that  particular time, at that particular moment?. No be everything wey person go just begin dey just talk on phone, you know. Him fit grab your phone, come dey see our chat, you get it. And sometimes such things… but why you ask me that question?


[User] I … I…

[Assistant] The girl he was with  naw.


[User] ok..erm..Anonymous, that should be… is it Anonymous?

[Assistant] yeah. I think so.


[User] that one? Mtcheew.. that girl is very very rude. As in I.. I .. can’t even stay where she is  sef. I cannot even. What? Did he tell you anything about her?

[Assistant] No. He didn’t tell me anything. Just that I went to his house and I saw.. he like texted her that day I sent you a message. So he called her Anonymous, the girl answered, yes. So the way he said Anonymous,.. I was now like ah ah. This is the same girl you really complained very bad about.  She really fucked up big time, Because I don hear her her fuck up.. like her fuck ups plenty. You understand. Knowing fully well that, ok you are in love with this person, you shouldn’t be treating him that way.  You get it. And the guy don like try, Like he don spend enough on her. And still yet.  But I still don’t like, get the chemistry o.


[User] Because, even the girl in particular once insulted the mum in the presence.. I was there. You know, the girl in particular insulted him, insulted the mum very well, like.. mtceew…

[Assistant] He told me about it.


[User] Ok. he told you about it. Nothing else. It’s just that… but have you asked him about how far with the girl.

[Assistant] I have asked him. It’s just that he said, yes, he accepts that he has nothing to do with her. But.. just that yes. He really got used to her.  You understand


[User] Because I knew very well that he has left the girl for a very long ago and he .. for so many times I have gone out with him, he doesn’t like you talking about the girl. Ok. so  but I don’t know. This one that you are telling me that he called her on phone.

[Assistant] Not on phone. Like, he chatted her on facebook


[User] Ok. On facebook. Because I know that he doesn’t have the recent number of the girl. And definitely he changed sim because of the girl.

[Assistant] Eerh. He told me about that.


[User] Ok he told you all these things. Have you seen it? I don’t know. He changed sim because of her. When you told me that.. I felt that maybe he got with contact with the girl again. That is just it. So are you afraid or what? Tell me or what?

[Assistant] no. I’m not scared.


[User] you are just scared?

[Assistant] I said I am not scared , I just really want to be sure of whatever I am getting myself into and don’t know. The way is just about marriage and all.


[User] You say what?

[Assistant] hm.. I said what. What now, I said what?


[User] yeah naw; let me get it very well.

[Assistant] I don’t know. It is getting serious. So I don’t know. Like at least whatever I want to do, I just want God to be part of it. You understand. I just really want God to do the final say. I don’t want to just do things outside God’s plan. You understand. So I’m just.. if he is mine, fine, he should be mine. But if he is not, I don’t know what the future holds. Like, I can’t say. Nobody knows what tomorrow would be and all. Although we are still getting to know each other, I know. And I don’t know…


[User] you know, sometimes,.. hmm… the only thing I have to tell you about him is just that.. I’m not here to praise him, nobody is perfect, but at least, I want you, number one to get used to him very well., give him, test him several times. Give him test. Try him so many times. And you yourself know the type of person you want in your life. I don’t know for you, you get it. I knows the type of person I want. Him too  knows the type of person he wants. Ok. if actually you can give him… just try him maybe two or three times. Number one, just try making him, imagine, making him angry to see how angered he can be and to know his mood whenever he is angry. You get it? Because sometimes you might stay with him and he might be pretending… you know, not giving you his real behaviour.

[Assistant] No.. I have noticed he has anger issues. I noticed it, I have. I have been with him in his house. Like we have been going out once..


[User] I know. I saw you people together when you are buying foodstuff whatever. Tomatoes. Mtcheew… I just passed… I was very very…

[Assistant] you haven’t heard of toothpick in this department  or  why not?


[User] I don’t know. Maybe I’m just the type that… many people don’t know me. I don’t know much people. And much people don’t know me

[Assistant] You don’t know much people? Why?


[User] I don’t know why…

[Assistant] you don’t know why?


[User] but do you know me before?

[Assistant] your face is familiar. I’ve been seeing your face


[User] but you don’t just know me

[Assistant] yeah.. but I know your face. Like I don’t know your name. but I know that I have been seeing your face of late.


[User] ok.

[Assistant] so tell me, what’s your name again?


[User] Anonymous

[Assistant] Anonymous, Anonymous...


[User] or Anonymous, anyone

[Assistant] I love the name and you look like a Anonymous. You look like a Anonymous. So where are you from?


[User] Enugu State.

[Assistant] Enugu State? What part?


[User] Anonymous

[Assistant] Anonymous! what side of Anonymous?


[User] Anonymous

[Assistant] Anonymous, that’s very fine. I’m from Enugu State also


[User] What part?

[Assistant] do you really want to know?


[User] yeah

[Assistant] why?


[User] I want to know  naw

[Assistant] you just want to know?


[User] yeah..

[Assistant] ok.. I’m from Anonymous


[User] is it inside Anonymous?

[Assistant] do you know Anonymous?


[User] yeah I know it

[Assistant] we have a common boundary


[User] and I pass it when I’m coming to school

[Assistant] I know Anonymous very well. I visit Anonymous often. I know .,. You know.. .so many of them and the rest of them. That is very fine. You know, people that are from there are always very rich people.


[User] it depends..

[Assistant] and you look like a queen


[User] thank you

[Assistant] will you come for PPO or


[User] PPO..no it’s in first year

[Assistant] ok. yeah. Do you come for basic acting skills?


[User] no. it’s in first year too.

[Assistant] oh.. which lecture are you doing this year. I have forgotten  sef, this semester


[User] Dramography

[Assistant] Dramography. Ok you did dance drama in ..


[User] first semester

[Assistant] first semester.. ok. this semester is Dramography?


[User] yes

[Assistant] do you stay off camp? Do you stay off camp?


[User] no.. I don’t stay off camp. I stay in the hostel

[Assistant] hostel.. where?


[User] Anonymous

[Assistant] Anonymous


[User] you don’t stay here, ... you are not the campus type

[Assistant] I don’t even.. I don’t like. .. I don’t visit girls hostel often.


[User] I see

[Assistant] so tell me more about you, tell me more about yourself naw..


[User] hmm… why do you want to know

[Assistant] you know, since you came, I have been keeping quite


[User] eh…

[Assistant] you know since you joined me, I have been keeping quite.


[User] hmm.. let me buy pen. Because in my next class, it’s like we are going to write test.

[Assistant] you want to buy what?


[User] pen

[Assistant] you don’t have pen


[User] hmm.. I’m coming

[Assistant] I’d be waiting for you


[User] you haven’t heard of toothpick in this department  or  why not?

[Assistant] I don’t know. Maybe I’m just the type that… many people don’t know me. I don’t know much people. And much people don’t know me


[User] You don’t know much people? Why?

[Assistant] I don’t know why…


[User] you don’t know why?

[Assistant] but do you know me before?


[User] your face is familiar. I’ve been seeing your face

[Assistant] but you don’t just know me


[User] yeah.. but I know your face. Like I don’t know your name. but I know that I have been seeing your face of late.

[Assistant] ok.


[User] so tell me, what’s your name again?

[Assistant] Anonymous


[User] Anonymous, Anonymous...

[Assistant] or Anonymous, anyone


[User] I love the name and you look like a Anonymous. You look like a Anonymous. So where are you from?

[Assistant] Enugu State.


[User] Enugu State? What part?

[Assistant] Anonymous


[User] Anonymous! what side of Anonymous?

[Assistant] Anonymous


[User] Anonymous, that’s very fine. I’m from Enugu State also

[Assistant] What part?


[User] do you really want to know?

[Assistant] yeah


[User] why?

[Assistant] I want to know  naw


[User] you just want to know?

[Assistant] yeah..


[User] ok.. I’m from Anonymous

[Assistant] is it inside Anonymous?


[User] do you know Anonymous?

[Assistant] yeah I know it


[User] we have a common boundary

[Assistant] and I pass it when I’m coming to school


[User] I know Anonymous very well. I visit Anonymous often. I know .,. You know.. .so many of them and the rest of them. That is very fine. You know, people that are from there are always very rich people.

[Assistant] it depends..


[User] and you look like a queen

[Assistant] thank you


[User] will you come for PPO or

[Assistant] PPO..no it’s in first year


[User] ok. yeah. Do you come for basic acting skills?

[Assistant] no. it’s in first year too.


[User] oh.. which lecture are you doing this year. I have forgotten  sef, this semester

[Assistant] Dramography


[User] Dramography. Ok you did dance drama in ..

[Assistant] first semester


[User] first semester.. ok. this semester is Dramography?

[Assistant] yes


[User] do you stay off camp? Do you stay off camp?

[Assistant] no.. I don’t stay off camp. I stay in the hostel


[User] hostel.. where?

[Assistant] Anonymous


[User] Anonymous

[Assistant] you don’t stay here, ... you are not the campus type


[User] I don’t even.. I don’t like. .. I don’t visit girls hostel often.

[Assistant] I see


[User] so tell me more about you, tell me more about yourself naw..

[Assistant] hmm… why do you want to know


[User] you know, since you came, I have been keeping quite

[Assistant] eh…


[User] you know since you joined me, I have been keeping quite.

[Assistant] hmm.. let me buy pen. Because in my next class, it’s like we are going to write test.


[User] you want to buy what?

[Assistant] pen


[User] you don’t have pen

[Assistant] hmm.. I’m coming


[User] I’d be waiting for you

[Assistant] Everybody nah just say, I no be yahoo boy, I no be yahoo boy. Everybody, all these people wey dey thief then, wetin dem be then? Nna eh, see guy, this life na money yab man o, o  man nah money yab man; if you no, if you no make money guy e just be like say you be chaff guy.  E be like say, e be like say if you no get money guy, e get, you no dey, you no dey this world, like you no dey this world, you just dey your own world. Nna eh!


[User] You wey dey talk money, money, money say you go make am, you go make am,

[Assistant] Guy


[User] Wetin you dey do wey, wey,

[Assistant] Guy


[User] For where you go make am?

[Assistant] Guy, I just believe say in me say I go make am because I no fit die poor, kpe…


[User] You, you no fit die poor

[Assistant] Ah nahn, I no fit die poor ooo


[User] You dey work?

[Assistant] Reason am nah, reason am nah


[User] How you dey work make you make am?

[Assistant] Omo, omo reason am nah


[User] You wan dey inside your house…Make am?

[Assistant] Nna eh


[User] Na question, you wan dey Inside your house make am?

[Assistant] I go make am


[User] School now, you don dey inside house talk say school na scam

[Assistant] Okay, wetin we go do now…


[User] you no go school again,

[Assistant] Wetin we go do when we wake up now?


[User] You no dey house dey work

[Assistant] But I want to ask question, why will… But I want to ask a question, why will Nigeria artist will be singing las, las, school na scam, what does it actually mean?


[User] What does it actually, Nna eh!

[Assistant] They are trying to confuse people like you


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Yes


[User] Because check it now, my guy no dey go school again; say school na scam…School na scam, school na scam. And im no dey work and im still dey talk say im go make am

[Assistant] Im no dey work, what do you mean by work?


[User] Im no get legal,legal work wey im dey do

[Assistant] Im dey, im dey, dem dey use, dem dey use star music encourage their self


[User] Omo even if the…

[Assistant] As in give dem, give their self hope


[User] Omo see guy, omo, wetin una dey reason sef? Omo see guy no matter the thing you dey hustle, study like mad, eee even if you dey hustle, study like mad

[Assistant] Why you come dey talk say school na scam?


[User] See, hustle… Me, me, ah, ah, school no be scam, omo mey I tell you. All those people wey dey tell you say school na scam don make, don go school, but ba, but based on say dem no get long leg, you know say everything now for, for this world now na long leg, you understand? Based on say dem no get long leg now, dem go come dey feel like say school na scam. E get some people wey dey school now wey be say if them come out dem don get work. So, those people wey be say when dem come out dem go stay five years, first class holder go dey drive this thing, kekenapepe, go dey drive bike, na im…

[Assistant] Na Wetin im be, no be scam for them?


[User] Ehhenn, im go, na those kind people dey talk school nah scam. So, na those kind people…

[Assistant] Because im don scam dem!


[User] Eheen, dem no…

[Assistant] Dem no graduate?


[User] Dem graduate but dem no dey make am there

[Assistant] Dem no go service?


[User] You understand… dem no dey make am there

[Assistant] True, true for Nigeria now; school na scam o guy


[User] School na scam sha, for some people, you understand bah

[Assistant] If you get that music, mey we, mey we dey play am


[User] Nnaaaa

[Assistant] True, true, school na scam


[User] Guy, omo, na money yab man…

[Assistant] No reason am


[User] Hustle o, hustle like mad

[Assistant] We dey third year, we dey third year but school na scam


[User] Hustle till you pay the set guy

[Assistant] Like seriously, we are


[User] Hustle till you pay the set, hustle till you pay the set

[Assistant] We are, we are in theatre and …, we are in theatre and film studies, and it seems like we are not even, it seems like as if we are not; even  sef, is better off that we are just working, learning work is better, because, I, as you can see now, to even read, there is no appetite again to even read because lecturers are fucking up, the students, everything; even the HOD himself is even getting it more. You will be paying, paying, paying


[User] no dey tire dem, e just be like say…

[Assistant] HOD, HOD, guy, I send HOD friend request, im accept me,I wan post am.


[User] Hey! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

[Assistant] So, that is it. I don’t really actually mean like school…


[User] School now, school now don scatter, school don kpoko, school now don nono

[Assistant] But does it mean, does it actually mean that those of, those people that went to school and got their Masters, PHD and are working o


[User] I know person wey get Masters wey dey pursue PHD wey never get job, wetin you dey try tell me?

[Assistant] Im get, I’m get, na okada im be o


[User] Masters o, Masters. You wan, wetin you wan yarn me?

[Assistant] Oya ehhh, see the truth about am here ehhhh,. Guy, see… make I tell una something, school no be actually scam, na the thing wey dey…


[User] Me, I believe school is not actually scam

[Assistant] The educational system now, the educational system is fucked up actually, you understand. Because of; in this life when we were created, we were created to make mistakes


[User] Yeah, yeah

[Assistant] But now, you will go to school and they will tell you that if you make mistake you are wrong. I don’t know if you understand me.


[User] Yeah, like nobody is perfect. I know, nobody is perfect

[Assistant] No, mistakes, mistakes na the thing wey dey teach us things about life. If you no make mistakes, you no go fit learn


[User] We learn by mistakes  nau

[Assistant] Thank you very much but the thing…


[User] You say what, we learn what?

[Assistant] We learn by mistake


[User] Thank you very much

[Assistant] Okay, yeah, yeah. True, true


[User] Now, the school now doesn’t want you to make that mistake. Why child go go school dem go ask am 1+1 im go talk maybe 3, dem go com flog am, flog am, flog am because of say im make mistakes. You understand that kind thing? So now, the school and plenty people now are because of say the first people wey start school that time, dem com get government job, …, dey successful, na im everybody chook head for inside school

[Assistant] Guy, mey I ask you, you talk say school no be scam, you wan talk say school no be scam?


[User] Calm down mey I explain myself. Cool down make I explain myself

[Assistant] He said school is not actually scam


[User] But in a way school is scam?

[Assistant] Yes, that’s what he’s trying to say


[User] Now, thank you, now, thank you very much. In a way school

[Assistant] But if you are putting this thing


[User] The educational system, the system na im dey scam

[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait… let me tell you something,


[User] But this guy wey you dey see like this, this boy, guy wey dey here believe say school na scam.

[Assistant] But wait make I tell you something, wait…


[User] If to say you no believe school na scam, why you been talk say you no go send your pikin go school?

[Assistant] Okay, wait make I tell you something.


[User] Why you talk am?

[Assistant] Excuse me, excuse me…


[User] If you want to talk about, wait…

[Assistant] Education, education is one thing, the educational system is another thing


[User] Okay nah,  why you no go send your pikin go school

[Assistant] Then, if you’re saying educational system eh, make sure say you dey put am for Nigeria


[User] Guy mey I chip una, mey I chip una, mey I chip una, wait, guy, guy, guy

[Assistant] Dey talk say educational system for Nigeria is very poor


[User] The world educational system is very poor. Guy wait mey I chip una. The world in general, I will tell you why, I will tell you why

[Assistant] Tell us why the world…


[User] Why will they discriminate, do you know now, the world now, okay what now, if you go to school they will tell you that cheating is wrong

[Assistant] Yeah it's true, we know


[User] Define cheating. Cheating is the way of helping your brother, like they say helping your brother during an examination is wrong. Now, making us when we come to real life if you see your brother, you no go fit help am because of say that insight wey school don imbib dey in you when you dey school

[Assistant] No be wetin I think say you wan talk, you wan talk sef


[User] Okay why dem go do first position…

[Assistant] See guy mey I chip you, mey I chip you


[User] First position dem go give them prize, last position dem no go give them prize

[Assistant] Wait make master…


[User] Dem no know say, dem no know say eh, dem no know say e get some children wey dey good on maths,

[Assistant] See guy, mey I tell you


[User] E get some children we dey good for e, on something wey no be education

[Assistant] Wetin, wetin mey you talk, mey dem dey give last person wey, last position prize; E no easy to take last o


[User] No, no be about, no, not last position now. E fit be say, the guy, the guy dey good in another thing wey no be,

[Assistant] _ML _PS _PE <TB> P/P Wey no be school mata


[User] _ML _PS _PE <TB> P/P Wey no be school eh, school mata

[Assistant] _BL _PS _PE <TB> P/P <ITS> <P-E> <ITS> <E-P> Wetin make school scam for Nigeria, wetin make school scam for Nigeria be say na we dey study for the love to make money, for the, for the, we are not studying it for to, to, to know, nobody dey, nobody is doing it for the passion. Everybody just dey, we just dey study to mey we, mey we graduate make am, make we graduate make money. So, for and school is not meant to be like that, school is not meant to be like that. So, that’s wha, that’s…


[User] Do you know, do you know another thing…

[Assistant] The truth about it is this, the truth about it is this, Instead of,


[User] The problem, the problem is our mentality

[Assistant] That’s it


[User] In school now, nobody, nobody learns

[Assistant] Nobody learns, If you are just trying, you are just replicating..., nobody tries to know that, okay, how, how did, how did this come about, why did it really, nobody is doing it really. We are just doing it to pass.


[User] See, see, let me tell you, many people, many people regret their steps they have,  have taken because youths of nowadays, nobody wants to think; everybody is G, G, G, yahoo, yahoo, yahoo, yahoo, yahoo, yahoo,  you understand? Nobody want to think and calm down and understand the economy of Nigeria. If you don’t understand the economy of Nigeria…

[Assistant] But I want to, I want to chip in something. Rex, Rex get me now, Rex get me, eh Sponky now get me, I want to say something, once, once you are saying that school is scam now, do you know that there are people that school are not scam for, lets, let me get my, get my point now, like this old rich men that a kind of, okay, imagine you are your parents is a senator now, if per, per semester he can, he will send like two hundred thousand into your account in a semester, won’t you feel happy to go to school? Do you have any reason of failing?


[User] Wait, wait, I want to ask you a question

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] Are you going for the money…  Or you are going to learn? The, like, you are going for the passion? Nobody is doing it for the love of, for the love of doing it; nobody is doing it, we are just doing it for the love of money

[Assistant] While school is, why you are telling me that school is scam is when you don’t get the necessary, when you don’t get the necessary things, the necessary resources


[User] Resources… There’s a difference between school…and resources

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] You understand? School is a different thing all together

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] What you need is a different thing all together

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] What you do when you are in school is something different all together

[Assistant] Okay


[User] Now, if a, your parent is sending you two hundred thousand naira and you don’t like school, and probably you are not supposed to be in school, no matter how much they send you, you will not do well in your examination

[Assistant] School na scam


[User] You made mention of ehhh say your person go send you money, say you go fit to go school

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] But what’s the ..., like say everybody dey go school now eh. The general thing there is to do what?

[Assistant] To graduate


[User] And what?

[Assistant] And get a job


[User] And make money

[Assistant] And make money, yeah


[User] Right?

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] That’s ...

[Assistant] Number 1, the primary thing


[User] Wait, wait. Okay, see all this young eh billionaires all these rich men which, like Dangote for example now

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] Maybe his son ehhh, but do you know that his son is in school?

[Assistant] Definitely, he must, his son must be in school


[User] Why is, why is he now in school?

[Assistant] For him to learn, not that school is scam


[User] Okay; why then are you saying that if you have the money you will be happy to be, to be going to school, when you don’t have zeal to learn…

[Assistant] Oga, oga when you get money…Na, see… see… school... when you get money, money can do anything; even though you fail exam, see make I, if you fail exam… You fit use your money solve am


[User] No, there’s different between education. You are, you are, you are saying that the use of money

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] That’s what you are saying

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] But education is something else

[Assistant] Yes


[User] Money is something else

[Assistant] Something else; But money can make you go far in education…


[User] Money can help, as in can help you as in mtchew, can help you go far in education

[Assistant] That is what I’m that’s the point I’m trying to


[User] If you don’t have the zeal, if you don’t have the zeal to educate yourself…

[Assistant] For you to be comfortable, for you to be comfortable in school; you must have money. You must have money.


[User] Thank you! That is where I’m going to

[Assistant] That is not where you are going


[User] You are saying that, if they give you money now, you will be happy to go to school

[Assistant] Yes, yes!


[User] Without the zeal?

[Assistant] Yes, Yeah, I Will, I will be happy to be a student, because anything I need, anything I need, I would, I would do. Why school is scam is that, due to sometimes is…


[User] I be Bluetooth?

[Assistant] Guy, dem don change your name to Bluetooth


[User] Sometimes, sometimes you will find out that you want to eat, you want to read, you want to eat and read but you will not see the money…

[Assistant] Guy, guy, you wey dey shout school na scam, e be like say you don get carry over. Na only person wey don get carryover go dey shout say school na scam, school na scam, how many you don get?


[User] Wait, wait, wait mey I talk something. Wait let me say something. Now, the only reason, now, the only reason why school, the only reason calm down, calm down mey I talk something. The only reason why school na scam is because of the end product of school.

[Assistant] The end product, when you talk about the end product of the school, what do you actually mean?


[User] Thank you very much. The only thing that makes a product scam is the end product. People have discovered that instead of the end product of school being a nice job and a nice life; the end product is finding unemployed youth. So, the end product is what they are calling scam. that if you go through school, no matter whether you go through school happy or whether you go through school sad, the end product should give us the same thing, if A, Mr. A Mr. B, Mr. C, Mr. D should go to school, it doesn’t matter whether they were rich when, during their school days, what they are looking forward is when after the school days that they should be happy, that they should have the good jobs but then this days the end product is not, is the end product is just fucked up. You see that people go to school; they are out and they are , unemployed; even first class, second eh, second class upper, everybody is unemployed; so the end product is what they are calling scam. Thank you very much!

[Assistant] I have exactly this… APP


[User] Okay; this thing, what’s the name again?

[Assistant] Is blood capsule. Give me; let me smell it. It’s not this one


[User] Supra malt, I hate that thing. Very big…

[Assistant] Jesus, too big


[User] One day, my dad put Supra malt inside garri and gave me to take. I now bite it. Oh, Jesus! For two weeks like this, supra malt still dey my tongue. You know if you open that thing, ... Hewu! And he now told me to eat… Oh my God! Eat it! I now swallow it! Hmm! Jesus Christ!

[Assistant] And you did not vomit?


[User] Eh?

[Assistant] You did not vomit?


[User] Calm down let me finish nau.  vomit… you will pack that vomit and eat. You don’t know my parents mtchew hmmm. My father that gave me drugs, I vomit, he picked it out, wash it, gave it to me

[Assistant] Jesus