[User] Na sooo

[Assistant] I tell the girl life, is not working with me, think of something else, if this is your plan with me, forget it


[User] Na soooo

[Assistant] It won’t work. Because I don’t have that time


[User] And you know say…

[Assistant] I no get that time o…


[User] E get people wey be say, as you dey like this ehn, if you ask them for money ehendem go give you but if I ask dem no go give. You know that one very well?

[Assistant] Why?


[User] I no just know but e dey happen steady. Like,

[Assistant] You know the way here? Okay


[User] That thing wey you tell me that time, you say e get one guy…

[Assistant] This, this one we will now pass through the front, front of that University of Abuja


[User] Eh?

[Assistant] I said we will cross the…


[User] Is it that University side?

[Assistant] Yes


[User] Okay

[Assistant] I come know say wetin this girl need from my hand…


[User] Na money

[Assistant] Na money


[User] Is this place closer than that place that we went?

[Assistant] Abi no, that place is closer. it's a straight way but this place is safer


[User] Okay

[Assistant] And for, according, I, I, that’s why I wanted to know if they have used that road


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] In the night and how many check, check points are there… How many police this thing.At least this one, just up here, there is a military check point first…


[User] _ Okay

[Assistant] Before you even go far


[User] Okay

[Assistant] And then, at the University bridge, Erm… there are some police men that usually stay at the University bridge


[User] Okay

[Assistant] They are even much, is further, I further Mtchew but that road, I’ve not used it in the night so I don’t know mtchew, I don’t know anything about it jare. But with this one, ehen that one is more of out sketch  With this one very soon, you go just… we will reach now, when we pass airpot We will be there already, at least, nothing can happen…


[User] What if they’ve not found the… spouse

[Assistant] My brother o, At least you understand my situation


[User] How go, how dem go come fine like this

[Assistant] The ones that, the ones that I found couldn’t found me


[User] How these ones go come fine like this

[Assistant] Ma, they will fine  nah, ahn-ahn


[User] Come dey look where, where, come dey wear eh, eh, Senator every time

[Assistant] Na money be Na money be fine bobo nah


[User] You know ma, that’s, that’s the…

[Assistant] Na money be fine bobo, na moneyyy


[User] Ehen, how these ones no go fine?

[Assistant] Na money be fine bobo


[User] See how dem fine, see how dem come dey wear

[Assistant] But you know that, that time wey dey…


[User] See those girls, I was looking at those girls, they were doing hihihihihihihi…

[Assistant] Ma, you see…


[User] seriously

[Assistant] Ma, you see, that’s why they have to be ex…


[User] You know I was looking at them. Their body dey, go dey sweet dem; especially that one at the center

[Assistant] Ehh


[User] Her body, she was just doing body, body. I told myself, you don see fine boy shey?

[Assistant] Ehh


[User] See as body dey sweet am.

[Assistant] Ma, but you know, you see that’s where the problem is. They can, is difficult for them to find the… Genuine…


[User] I’m telling you brother

[Assistant] Ehhen, the genuine one


[User] If I tell you my experiences I’ve had

[Assistant] The genuine one


[User] Ehhen

[Assistant] I’ve had too many experiences eh


[User] If they want, if they want to find genuine one they will find

[Assistant] Then after a while, they will all just seem the same .After a while, you will find out that they are all the same, it will just take some time


[User] The only one now, Aunty…

[Assistant] To find good, to find good woman now hard o


[User] The only one I like now eh,

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] I won’t lie to you, that understand me very, very well

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] That I like so much, she went to Madona University now eh,

[Assistant] Ehen. Ah-ah, what’s the noise all about?


[User] Sorry, where is this noise coming from?

[Assistant] Park stand


[User] Park…

[Assistant] You understand?


[User] That one is in Madona University

[Assistant] Ehen no, she’s, she is done with Madona; she is working in town, she's staying in Abuja here too


[User] Okay

[Assistant] I wanted to bring her to you, I wanted to introduce her to you today


[User] Ehen, are you people still coming?

[Assistant] In fact she is in my house now sef


[User] Are you people still coming to the house?

[Assistant] Ehen, we, we are coming to the, I told her to, that you wanted to see her


[User] Okay

[Assistant] You understand?


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] She said she will come and see you


[User] Okay

[Assistant] You understand. So, but, the only, she’s the only one that my mind have already accepted but now, my parents


[User] Ewoo

[Assistant] Is now the problem


[User] What’s the problem  nah?

[Assistant] I don’t know o,


[User] What is it?

[Assistant] I don’t know o, you know her very well  nah


[User] No, what, what are they complaining about?

[Assistant] As in, my parents said… you know I’m from Abia State. They said ehhhn, Anambra that ehh and she is plumpy


[User] Eheeee…

[Assistant] They are saying that the girl is big, she is old, she is all that, na small girl…


[User] I don’t understand

[Assistant] Na small girl wey I senior


[User] I don’t understand, she is?

[Assistant] She is big, she is old, all those kind, you know as mum mtchew


[User] Okay

[Assistant] The thing come dey serious for where mumsy dey o


[User] So, so, are you going to marry their choice or your choice?

[Assistant] I cannot do that, I cannot do that. This girl dey very, very homely. If I don’t do any ah, ah! You know her very well  nah Fab?


[User] I know her very, very well  nah

[Assistant] She is very, very homely,


[User] I know her very, very well

[Assistant] I don’t know and the ones that dealt with me Aunty eh


[User] Hmmm, are the slim ones…

[Assistant] Slim ones! They dealt with me seriously


[User] Ehen.

[Assistant] Aunty I’m telling you the gospel truth


[User] Ehhennn

[Assistant] We schooled to, we finished school here in Gwagwalada together. That one, she was a Pastor in Christ Embassy


[User] Ahhhhhh

[Assistant] You understand. That one, I was even thinking that after school then everything. Then, I was planning on travelling abroad that period


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] You understand. I said okay after schooling, I will introduce her to my parentsbla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla. She went for NYSC


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Now she, she was, she was serving in Anambra, in Awka sorry Awka. that time wey I tell you say I dey go Awka,na she.  Aunty from the little money I had, I paid her this thing o. I don’t really have much but I had to rally round, pay her accommodation. Just in Awka, it’s like 120k  abi? We divided it half, half, she brought half, I brought half, we paid. She now started doing her NYSC, I left her for some months.


[User] Ehh

[Assistant] I didn’t go to visit her in Awka


[User] Ehh

[Assistant] I now said okay one day, let me just go and visit her in Awka, do you get?


[User] Ehh

[Assistant] Getting to Awka, she refused to open her door for me


[User] There?

[Assistant] As in, I, I drove from Abuja to Awka


[User] Waoh!

[Assistant] Only me, I drove from Abuja to Awka


[User] Love ooo, …

[Assistant] You understand?


[User] Ehh

[Assistant] Just to found out say the boy wey she dey go out with now, that the boy open ear, do dreadlocks. All those kind yoppy…


[User] Chai

[Assistant] NYSC…


[User] She never know wetin she want

[Assistant] Lappy boy and na person weydey do like say na Pastor, so what I’m I going to do?


[User] The girl?

[Assistant] Yes


[User] Hmm. No be say imdey do like say na Pastor,

[Assistant] Na Pastor


[User] E be Pastor for school

[Assistant] For Christ Embassy


[User] Ehn?

[Assistant] Ehh, all those kind things dem.  So, what do you want me to do again? So, that was even when I left everything about woman, as in, everything…...  Even till now sef, woman sef don dey do me one kind. I fit, I fit no talk to woman for weeks, months, I go just dey find money


[User] E/E So, how did you meet this person that you are with now?

[Assistant] Okay this one, I met her through, I met her like ehhhh… how did I even met that girl… it, it was, okay… I think it was in a bank


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Then she was working with the bank or something


[User] Okay

[Assistant] I think so. It was in a bank I met her first. But we didn’t talk


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] For some months. Then, one day I invited her out, she now came to Crush town to wait for me, that day I forgot I invited someone out


[User] Are you serious?

[Assistant] I tell you the truth


[User] He forgot that he invited someone out

[Assistant] Guy, guy…


[User] Aunty, she will tell you if she, if you meet her, she will tell you

[Assistant] My God!


[User] I forgot like intoto that I invited someone. She kept on calling, calling and for my mind…

[Assistant] Guy…


[User] Why this girl dey call me like this? You understand that kind thing? I left her till after 7

[Assistant] But that’s a very bad first impression


[User] My brother…

[Assistant] As in eh


[User] Very bad

[Assistant] You understand?


[User] Ehh

[Assistant] It happened first, as in, second time I disappointed her too then


[User] Oh my God!

[Assistant] God, I didn’t know what to do


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Elm, that was how everything started and then, okay, okay, when everything now, when everything now started happening like relationship was when I got broke


[User] Okay

[Assistant] I was explaining to her that, explaining that I was just broke okay, she, we started talking once, once on phone. She now say what is the problem? I told her that I don’t have money to do this, I don’t have money to put my light, my bill, this one, that one and she couldn’t say a word, she said that I should send her my, how much do you want, I told her that I need 30k, she said okay that she has some amount of money in her account that the parents sent it to her for accommodation but she is squatting with one of her friends in Abuja here.


[User] Ehh…

[Assistant] But can she lend me the money? After


[User] Ehh

[Assistant] Are you getting what I’m saying, I will refund her, I said okay. I sent her my account number, she sent me Four hundred and thir, fifty thousand or there about then


[User] Four hundred and?

[Assistant] Fifty thousand naira


[User] But you said you wanted what? Thirty thousand?

[Assistant] Thirty thousand, she said that,


[User] And she sent you four hundred and something

[Assistant] She said, she said, yes…


[User] Seriously,

[Assistant] That I should just keep it, that anytime…


[User] We need to look, look very well o

[Assistant] Ehh


[User] That anytime I need ..., I, I, Anytime I need ehhh, anytime she needs the money, you understand?

[Assistant] Hayyyy


[User] I can refund her the money, I gave her back the money o, you understand? But what really helped me a lot…

[Assistant] But eh, my question is… you asked a young lady for thirty thousand naira…


[User] no, I’ve forgotten how the conversation happened so…

[Assistant] And the lady gave you four hundred and something, ha!


[User] Do you know why, do you know why I think,

[Assistant] See,


[User] Do you know why I think that

[Assistant] See what happened,


[User] Do you know why I think that eh

[Assistant] I told, I don’t know even what happened but


[User] No, do you know why I think that ehhh, probably she gave you that four hundred and fifty thousand

[Assistant] To keep for her in exchange


[User] Eh so, she will know that you are in the possession of the complete money because if she gives you thirty

[Assistant] Some people don’t like touching part, part…


[User] She wan ehen…

[Assistant] She has started eating that money


[User] She wanted, she wanted to rent house with the money

[Assistant] If she gives you thirty, she might give another person…


[User] you understand, she wanted to rent house with the money. Ehen, she wanted to rent house with the money of which I gave her back the complete money, she rented her house. You understand so…And the money sef I didn’t even fi, and the money again now

[Assistant] It sounds strange to me. You people are…


[User] The money with me here

[Assistant] You people are …, you people are talking it, … you are explaining it, as in, it sounds strange to me


[User] No, but that does…

[Assistant] A young man asked you for thirty thousand and you gave the young man four hundred and something thousand


[User] No, she told me that …

[Assistant] So that, so that,


[User] This is what she ehen, this is what she has in her account

[Assistant] So that you will have the complete money


[User] You understand? She told me that this…

[Assistant] And instead of giving her back the thirty thousand maybe when she has started squandering the four hundred and twenty thousand that is remaining…


[User] And still go back to square one

[Assistant] Is better to give him the four hundred and fifty thousand


[User] What if something happened and the young man was not able to refund back the four hundred and something thousand?

[Assistant] That is where the trust comes in


[User] That is the thing, that thing eh

[Assistant] That is just the cause


[User] Hope you didn’t tell your mum this story?

[Assistant] No, I didn’t tell her


[User] Because this is one reason she will use and tell you what… a no, no

[Assistant] Why?


[User] Are you serious aunty?

[Assistant] I’m telling you o; somebody you just started a relationship with


[User] A question mark o

[Assistant] Ehh…


[User] No, no, no…

[Assistant] Because there’s a question mark in this thing


[User] We’ve been talking eh

[Assistant] Ehh


[User] She was base, she’s based in Abuja here

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] Are you getting what I’m saying? She was, we’ve already known in Abuja

[Assistant] … which side are we going back? Through bridge abi… which side?


[User] let’s follow uh the way we came from, somehow it’s closer

[Assistant] Okay the way we came from?


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] Yes, very safe


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Very safe


[User] Okay

[Assistant] You understand aunty, ehen


[User] Oh, there are some roads that are not safe

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] Abuja is no longer as safe as it used to be

[Assistant] Or should we follow the, the other University Abuja side?


[User] The other, let’s follow that, that side is…

[Assistant] Ehen, let’s follow that airport side


[User] Yes, that airport side is safer, at least I know that there are police at all the check points

[Assistant] Okay


[User] Okayyy

[Assistant] And then…


[User] Abeg safety first ehh…

[Assistant] You understand aunty ehen


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] She explained to me that look at the money she has in her account, she explained to me that period on phone, She explained everything that she wanted to use it for accommodation, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, you understand that kind thing?  And me, I, I had problem that is even more than that 30k sef, but I know you, I barely know you, I just can’t start telling you this, you should come and give me that huge amount of money. She now said okay that she will borrow me the money that when I have, she didn’t dash me the money No, she didn’t, I pay her back


[User] See why she gave you the money…

[Assistant] But she behaved like someone that was really desperate for…


[User] She wasn’t

[Assistant] Nooo


[User] After that periodsef, she didn’t talk to me o. She gave me the money, she forgot me, I forgot her too, after a while when I got the, as in mtchew, that’s why I said the thing just happened. I did not ask her out, she did not ask me out, the thing just happened, you understand aunty? As in, the thing just happened like, we didn’t really… mtchew  how will I put it, we didn’t really ahn-ahn, you know how she behaves  nah

[Assistant] But which one is better  nah? Na who get the money for account e no go gree give you? Na that one good to marry?


[User] Hmm… Anonymous forget that. These days women use their money to buy men o, if you people don’t know; know it now

[Assistant] To buy men?


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] But aunty ehen, I come, aunty… see, see, see wetin


[User] You understand what I’m saying my brother?

[Assistant] I understand


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] See wetin me I feel say wey make am give me the money sef ehen, she don come my house before that time, you understand?


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] You know if someone enters your house and sees how maybe a little bit comfortable you are, the person might think… are you getting what I’m saying?


[User] The person will trust you enough

[Assistant] Okayyy


[User] Yeah,

[Assistant] Okay


[User] Trust you with something

[Assistant] Okay, okay


[User] That was the only thing I, I figured out that period sef

[Assistant] See, the poor, the poor farmer’s way of saving money is lending it to a trusted friend. That is the poor farmer’s way of saving money. At that point if she gives you that thirty thousand,


[User] It won’t even be enough  sef

[Assistant] The money will remain four hundred and twen, the money will remain four hundred and twenty thousand and she would start using it because she has already started


[User] Yeah…

[Assistant] So, the best thing to do is to give you the whole money… Keep, I’m sure that you will give me back


[User] Anyway, thank God…

[Assistant] I’ve given her back


[User] Thank God that you gave her back

[Assistant] I gave her back


[User] Because something would have happened

[Assistant] I gave her back


[User] And maybe you wouldn’t give her back and I wondered what would have happened

[Assistant] I gave her back


[User] Hmmm, thank God you gave her back

[Assistant] And before I gave her back, when she needed the money, That was when I even gave her back  sef, God made it possible like when she needed the money, the day she called, that she will like to use the money to rent a house;You understand? I told her to give me one week,You understand? Before that one week, I called her, gave her back the money


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Even then, we’ve not even started dating too aunty. Are you getting what I’m saying?


[User] That, that girl took a very big risk

[Assistant] We’ve not even started dating


[User] That was a very big risk that she took

[Assistant] If you were a 419…


[User] She said it’s a risk she won’t take

[Assistant] No aunty I can’t do that. A corper, I say a corper, a…


[User] Ehen because you are not that kind of a person ehen

[Assistant] A this thing, a young banker


[User] Somebody has given me her school fees before

[Assistant] A young girl like that


[User] Girl don give me her money but this one give me her school fees eh. Gave me 50k, her school fees nah 80k

[Assistant] Ehhn


[User] She come give me 50k say…

[Assistant] Say mey you complete am


[User] Ehhen say…If I now won pay am back

[Assistant] Make you complete am


[User] Make I give am the 80k nah

[Assistant] You see…


[User] I tell am no problem. I tell the girl no problem, I will. You get? Now she gave me that 50k. Now when she come give me the 50k, as in… the time to pay the school fees has not reached

[Assistant] She come dey ginger for your body


[User] She come dey ginger me say her sisters found out say she give boy her school fees; this that, this that. That I should please send her back the money that I should please that ah, ahn-ahn, the calls were getting too much, I’m like what’s up with you  nah? You have to, you need to relax, you don’t understand? You need to relax. The time you and I discussed has not even reached and you are bugging, she said that her sisters are disturbing her, the next thing they will tell her parents that this, that, that, I cannot put her in that type of trouble. I said come on, you have something to gain out of this. You gave me 50k to give you 80k so you will use and complete your school fees, so don’t act like… Don’t act like you did me all the favour because you’re gaining something as well()

[Assistant] Of course


[User] So, come on. The girl insisted and I said okay, since the time we talked about has not reached and you are insisting on having the money, let me give you back your 50k

[Assistant] Straight up


[User] And I transferred her that her 50k that day wey we talk, I just transfer am her 50k. She come dey call me say how far nah that this is not what we I told her mehn… fuck you there, this thing is not what you and I said at all

[Assistant] but Annonymous you were, you agreed to put 30k…


[User] Were you that desperate for money?

[Assistant] Ehen?


[User] were you that desperate?

[Assistant] No she is my friend, I can dash her the 30k even without borrowing hers


[User] When you were a student?

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, not when I was a student


[User] No this thing, all these thing happened when we were here

[Assistant] Okay, I thought it was when he was a student


[User] No, no, no

[Assistant] When I was a student


[User] One thing there is ehn, all these thing happened when we left school years back, all these thing happen…

[Assistant] That’s why I say marry, marry, when boys don’t, when you people have money and you don’t marry, you waste money. Money you will use to be taking care of your families, see that thirty thousand naira you would have wasted giving a…


[User] Those things are waste, as long as I’m concerned. When you have a family, you put it in your family and it’s moving

[Assistant] The, the girl come dey ginger me later say okay, e get when this girl dey tell me say ahh, say make I help, make I borrow her 120k


[User] You see…

[Assistant] Apparently…


[User] Make she use pay her house rent

[Assistant] Yeah, right


[User] Make she use pay her house, make she use pay her house rent say later she go give me back mtchew, I come tell the girl say… see eh, I don’t think you need a… a… I don’t think you need a partner or a boyfriend or whatever, whatever, whatever. The only thing you need is a cash assurance That’s the only thing you need,

[Assistant] I dey tell you


[User] Is just cash assurance and mehn, is not working with me

[Assistant] Na sooo


[User] I tell the girl life, is not working with me, think of something else, if this is your plan with me, forget it

[Assistant] Na soooo


[User] It won’t work. Because I don’t have that time

[Assistant] And you know say…


[User] I no get that time o…

[Assistant] E get people wey be say, as you dey like this ehn, if you ask them for money ehendem go give you but if I ask dem no go give. You know that one very well?


[User] Why?

[Assistant] I no just know but e dey happen steady. Like,


[User] You know the way here? Okay

[Assistant] That thing wey you tell me that time, you say e get one guy…


[User] This, this one we will now pass through the front, front of that University of Abuja

[Assistant] Eh?


[User] I said we will cross the…

[Assistant] Is it that University side?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Okay


[User] I come know say wetin this girl need from my hand…

[Assistant] Na money


[User] Na money

[Assistant] Is this place closer than that place that we went?


[User] Abi no, that place is closer. it's a straight way but this place is safer

[Assistant] Okay


[User] And for, according, I, I, that’s why I wanted to know if they have used that road

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] In the night and how many check, check points are there… How many police this thing.At least this one, just up here, there is a military check point first…

[Assistant] _ Okay


[User] Before you even go far

[Assistant] Okay


[User] And then, at the University bridge, Erm… there are some police men that usually stay at the University bridge

[Assistant] Okay


[User] They are even much, is further, I further Mtchew but that road, I’ve not used it in the night so I don’t know mtchew, I don’t know anything about it jare. But with this one, ehen that one is more of out sketch  With this one very soon, you go just… we will reach now, when we pass airpot We will be there already, at least, nothing can happen…

[Assistant] If you don’t win that money, you can come out, people know you for something


[User] Ehen nah

[Assistant] And people will patronize you because you are already popular. Do you understand? You are already popular, people will patronize you


[User] Is that where you picked us that time, this place?

[Assistant] Nooo o, no, no, no


[User] Okay, I saw this bridge

[Assistant] This bridge  bah


[User] People will, people that, people that are into this big, big things

[Assistant] It’s still far?


[User] There are so many bridges o, yes, it’s still far!

[Assistant] That place is still far?


[User] Where I picked you from?

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] It’s still a little, it’s still far

[Assistant] No, Is not too far


[User] Seriously

[Assistant] Not as far as…


[User] Like 10 minutes

[Assistant] But it’s just a little


[User] You understand. So, why not show this thing so that if you go for Big Brother, even if you don’t win the prize money. You are not even sure of entering the house but let’s say you enter the house, even if you don’t win the prize money and you get to an, a errr, level, do you understand?

[Assistant] Yes


[User] You get to a level. Now you are not completely useless because there are people that will use you for what you know

[Assistant] Yes, plenty people


[User] Or… do you understand me? But…

[Assistant] To establish themselves


[User] You just want to go for Big Brother…and you’re saying I’m not encouraging…

[Assistant] Become famous…


[User] And you’re saying that I’m not encouraging you, that I’m afraid if you go for Big Brother that eh, you, you…

[Assistant] Jesus!


[User] Will meet people that are better than me; And this thing, I said, I said look at you, what do you think?

[Assistant] What should go…


[User] As in why, as in, look at you what do you think? Kee onye, onye mu gi? Kee ihe i n‘ako? What do you think I g’eji korom si m that there are people that I’m now thinking that you do, like… I’m dating you is that the reason you are seeing me like that, do you know what I can pull off and what I cannot pull off, are you crazy? If na me won go Big Brother you think say I go dey here dey tell you say I dey won go Big Brother? Na there you go see me. Na there you go see me, no dey tell me nonsense. I dey tell you wetin you suppose dey think, the way you suppose dey okay. … <ITS> <P-E> now, your Instagram page is, is nonsense, is nonsense, there’s nothing about what you do that shows there and now you go for Big Brother. Let’s say you don’t win the money, now if you go for Big Brother, that, that, that, this person is a Pilot, this person is a Musician, this person is this and there is evidence of what they do, now you are just a common university girl that…

[Assistant] Student


[User] That came there. You are just a common student that came there. What do you think you are there for, do you understand? What do you think you are there for?

[Assistant] She is still in school?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] , she still dey university nah


[User] She is still in school?

[Assistant] Yes. So, what do you think you are there for? I’m advising…


[User] Or do they… Do they allow students to go for that?

[Assistant] Yes nah


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Errm Nina


[User] I’m advising you and… Nina was her classmate in school that’s why she…

[Assistant] Ehhen…


[User] Na why e come be am like say if Nina go do am make I go do am.

[Assistant] Is true o


[User] O boy

[Assistant] Do you understand? I come dey tell the girl the girl come feel say… , I no want make she go Big Brother and I say look at you, if you know people that I’ve met in my life


[User] Are you still dating this girl  sef?

[Assistant] I don leave am, I no dey even call am for phone ever since, I don…


[User] .., but did you tell her that you are ending the relationship?

[Assistant] I will, don’t need to tell her


[User] Or you just stopped calling her?

[Assistant] I don’t need to tell her


[User] You have to tell her

[Assistant] I don’t need to tell her. she knows my type of person. I don’t need to tell her. Make she go find boyfriend. The girl piss me off really, like the girl piss me. I dey talk to this guy I know as I’ve… see eh..., I’m, I’m telling you something and you’re taking advice from your fellow girls that are your age mate, what do you think they know? I’ve met girls that are older than you are


[User] That’s it

[Assistant] Come on, I’ve been in school like you. I met girls that are older than you are. I met, I met girls that don’t think the way you think. So if I’m telling you something and you are… and you are… arguing or you are trying to make me think I’m telling you this thing so that they will work to my advantage; you are crazy. As In


[User] As in na problem

[Assistant] Na her problem o, no be my problem, I swear! Mtchew.


[User] Mtchew, o boy, woman don stress person

[Assistant] so this girl now, you, Anonnymous don’t give up on her, don’t


[User] Which one?

[Assistant] This particular one you are telling me about. The one that that works in errrrr Turkey Chambers


[User] Okayyy

[Assistant] Don’t just err, hang the relationship like that. Try to ... before you will be there and someone else will take her o. Because that good thing you are seeing in her other men are seeing it o hmm-hmm, before you know it somebody that is more serious will come


[User] Noooo, God knows I’m…

[Assistant] And you know, she is already 26


[User] God knows that I’m more serious

[Assistant] At 26 a child wants, at 26 every girl wants to settle down


[User] God knows that I’m the best person for her

[Assistant] The, don’t just hang the girl, continue with your relationship since you know that this one at least has sense


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] And the girl get sense die

[Assistant] Eheh!


[User] Na the type of girl wey you an am go dey eh, she no dey even think,

[Assistant] She no go discuss competition


[User] All those kind things dem

[Assistant] No, na how do we make the money because it is when you make it, you eat it


[User] It’s true

[Assistant] If you don’t make it, you don’t have it. So… what are you saying?


[User] Driving in the night is so difficult eh

[Assistant] That’s why you have to be really, really…


[User] Very, very ehen you understand. It’s not easy

[Assistant] Guy e get the time wey my fuel pump no good. I no say my fuel pump get small issue that period. Na this road I dey where… am, am, yes, make I, make i show you where my car stop me that day


[User] For here, your car stop you for here?

[Assistant] Yeeeees!


[User] Eh, eh

[Assistant] Yes


[User] This place

[Assistant] And it was at night


[User] Ah!

[Assistant] Around to, around to, to 11


[User] My God

[Assistant] Abi past 10


[User] Where were you coming from?

[Assistant] Eh?


[User] Ehen…

[Assistant] Like if this car stop for here now, person go come ask us where are we coming from?


[User] At after, at elm 10 o’clock in the night, hmmm, it’s too late nah

[Assistant] So… just here now, this place wey this sand dey now. Okay no, no, no, just here now, just here, just here now, just here now, guy I use…


[User] My own don stop me, don stop me

[Assistant] Guy


[User] No be you come carry me that day?

[Assistant] Ehen?


[User] Okay, not you, not you

[Assistant] No, you no come carry am


[User] Na Sanctus dem, my own don stop me here too

[Assistant] Guy I use leg eh, I use leg, thank God say I get jerry can wey I won use buy fuel for… for generator. I use leg waka


[User] Go that filling station

[Assistant] Go this filling station wey dey that place


[User] But at least thank God say nothing happen

[Assistant] But I reach the filling station don close


[User] You didn’t, you didn’t see keke

[Assistant] I reach there, the filling station don close, I go buy black market


[User] Ah no, is that, is too late for them

[Assistant] Na wetin do me be that


[User] I buy black market. I reach there the filling station don close

[Assistant] Didn’t you see keke like this?


[User] No

[Assistant] No nah, it's too late


[User] It was too late

[Assistant] Okay


[User] It was too late. Even if you are trying to book taxi fare, who will be at, who will be close to that place to…

[Assistant] But it's close to Barican  nah, you might... Barican


[User] Mtchew, I, I don’t know but that time, I don’t even… hai, as in eh, the thing pain me die

[Assistant] Some drivers sef, if you call them at that night to come and help you, they won’t come


[User] Because the road, the road is lonely.  you understand me?

[Assistant] Yeah, the road is lonely


[User] And you know the tariff is even higher at night  bah for taxi fare

[Assistant] E And the tariff is higher I, I, maybe to go there now go back I will pay 1000; how much fuel will I buy?


[User] Is actually, is, is higher in the night and there are lot of factors that are going with it, cons, also considering the risk of safety and everything

[Assistant] We don reach house


[User] Ah, we don reach house o, 2 seconds

[Assistant] So, Thank God, how do you wish to handle your parents?


[User] On the serious part on a joke, I don’t know how to go about it. I’ve tried convincing my parents, talk to them… this one, that one but mtchew

[Assistant] Get your uncles go wed the girl nah


[User] What! Don’t ever do that. It’s a no, no

[Assistant] No


[User] It’s a no, as long as your parents are alive eh, you must wait to, elm, elm get their blessings, it’s very important. Just look for a way to convince your mum, your mum first

[Assistant] We had a seminar in church recently still on this issue. Actually marriage, I attend house on the rock, so then…


[User] Oh, you attend house on the rock?

[Assistant] Yes


[User] Lovely

[Assistant] Not this one, the other one


[User] Built last, that was the seminar and elm there was a relationship talking, someone asked about this thing and she was giving an example of her own this thing. Now, she is Yoruba and she got married to an Edo man and her dad, her parents normally they will not, never agree that, but the way she marketed… in fact, the man that she got married to was not, she was more, she was wealthier than the guy. So, I think the guy was earning about 5,000 naira back then and she was earning way, way more, in fact, he didn’t even have a good …. So, she tushed him up before, before she took him to their house and then she sold, she, the way she sold him to her parents, it was on what, how she presented him to her parents that made them accept him

[Assistant] So, I don’t know like, she was, she was giving advice to them that the issue is that sometimes you even mtchew, sometimes you tell your parents way too much


[User] We can use here, we can use here

[Assistant] Here?


[User] You can use the next one

[Assistant] Okay. That you tell your parents way too much that the information that is not necessary or something, that you should sell them, is it this place?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Yes. No, no, no, not here sorry


[User] Not here, not here

[Assistant] Okay, this other place?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Hmm, yeah, this one


[User] They should sell them and highlight the qualities, the good qualities that you see. Eh, that’s what you should…

[Assistant] Hmm but honestly speaking, I think, your girl now, I no know why person no go like am o, anyway, na who know…


[User] Physically, does she look good? physically?

[Assistant] Yes nau


[User] Yeah

[Assistant] Na who no know am wey no go like am o. I swear


[User] And very intelligent

[Assistant] Na who no know am…


[User] Has your, has your mum seen her?

[Assistant] Ehen


[User] Yeah, use here, use here

[Assistant] Left


[User] Your left

[Assistant] Or right?


[User] Ehen, has your mum seen her?

[Assistant] Yes, yes, just once


[User] Waoh!

[Assistant] Let me just go back


[User] Just first impression… Okayyy

[Assistant] After the line


[User] You need to go back right?

[Assistant] Yeah, yes


[User] Wait, chill, chill

[Assistant] Okay


[User] Move now… Olodo. Okay, you can come now, you can come now

[Assistant] Is this where you people buy gas?


[User] No

[Assistant] Ok


[User] Guy if e no be NIPCON wey dey use machine fill gas, I no dey buy

[Assistant] This one gas, dem go fill am, hungry, hungry


[User] I no dey buy, they will just fill am well for you

[Assistant] You go make am rush carry the girl shey?


[User] Eh?

[Assistant] You no go carry am go there, go there?


[User] Hmm, I dey carry am go NIPCON. Marriage eh, heyyyyyy, marriage, haaaaaaa

[Assistant] The main thing, the main thing you need in marriage is, the first thing is God, that’s the…


[User] Yes o

[Assistant] That’s the number one thing


[User] I tell myself say eh, I tell, I tell myself, I tell, I don tell God say eh…If, if e no be your choice, make I no marry

[Assistant] Exactly


[User] Because that one that is good for you for me, is good. That one that you said is good for me, is good

[Assistant] And, and another thing, you people should know that,


[User] There’re people inside this place

[Assistant] You don’t get… eh?


[User] There’re people inside this…There are people inside this tunnel

[Assistant] There are?


[User] There are people there?

[Assistant] Yes nau. See that kid, I saw somebody inside


[User] Hausa people is there now, Hausa people dey sleep there

[Assistant] I saw somebody inside now now


[User] Inside this tunnel?

[Assistant] Yes. Where that bike was


[User] Yes, they sleep there. Dem no get where dem no dey ahn, ahn, this place…

[Assistant] Na wao


[User] Na hotel nau

[Assistant] Here nah, here nah, this place na hotel for them


[User] Don’t tell me this, that people are inside there

[Assistant] Here nah na a big hotel for them


[User] Yes nah I saw it as we are,  now, now, that’s why I’m saying it

[Assistant] This one na hotel nau, heyyyyy!


[User] E/P Really?

[Assistant] People dey sleep, if you sit down, you put your mouth here


[User] Should I, should I take you to, thank you. Should I take you to opposite Efab? Mey you see who dey sleep on top im bike

[Assistant] Ah, ohh Jesus!


[User] On top of his bike. I don see that one before.  on top of im bike, im lie down

[Assistant] But snake could enter there  nah


[User] No! They’ve, they’ve weighed everything and they’ve seen that it’s better

[Assistant] They don’t. they know the, they know where the snakes are there  nau


[User] That this thing is better?

[Assistant] Aunty, I believe  nah,


[User] Ah, Ohhhh!

[Assistant] I believe that’s why they will stay there  nah


[User] Sorry o

[Assistant] Still straight?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Yes, sure


[User] Anonymous, is this where you came to buy something yesterday?

[Assistant] No, no, no


[User] Okay

[Assistant] ... To twelve, you no go eat for house?


[User] No I dey, I go, I go chop for house

[Assistant] Sure, we go eat for house o, this thing wey we dey use dey cook? We go cook another one


[User] Okay, labobo?

[Assistant] Eh?


[User] That one we made, we pass yesterday

[Assistant] I no follow you o, you go just waka come out this Garradi market, you go come out Garradi market to go, two seconds you carry dem come. If you, I go follow you, no worry


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Me and you go follow, no worry. Mey you eat for house, you know sha


[User] Guy chop…

[Assistant] You can’t stay finish and go out or…


[User] I have a, I have a…

[Assistant] Or only you go waka finish? you no go come eat for house? it's bad biko


[User] No be you, no be house we suppose take chop comot, food still dey house still

[Assistant] Hmmmm, but then come on! we no come reach house before we dey come back here. So… what should we have done? Okay o, unless you… okay see


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] Use here


[User] Here?

[Assistant] Use here,


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Use left


[User] Easy ehh, ehen go straight

[Assistant] No, go straight, go straight nah, go straight. E get one, okay, that Martha girl


[User] Ehen

[Assistant] I carry Martha for motor. Martha dey in front of motor.  she come dey answer her friend call, come dey say… like ARE YOU SERIOUS? The guy bought you an IPhone and you’re using the IPhone like right  now?  I come say if I drop this person for this car, I no go even call am again. Immediately I drop am, I delete her number from my phone


[User] Why?

[Assistant] Eh? Which kind of discussion is that? Are you serious? Like he bought you, like he…


[User] She want to, she want to shout it so you will hear it

[Assistant] Ehen… like he bought


[User] So that, so that you go buy am iPhone

[Assistant] Like he bought you an iPhone and you are using it? You dey, you dey craze, who no go even give person iPhone?


[User] Aunty good evening ma

[Assistant] What is phone? Wetin… All these things dey freak you?


[User] ... sorry

[Assistant] If you see RoseRex, wetin you go do?  iPhone you dey talk like this. if you see RoseRex, wetin you go do?


[User] Right?

[Assistant] Yes, yeah, yeah, just, no, no, no, just, just keep going


[User] Sorry o

[Assistant] Na like my street be this na


[User] I’m studying banking and finance. My course under banking and finance is Insurance

[Assistant] Oh! Oh! This insurance is…under banking and finance


[User] Yeah

[Assistant] Okay! Maybe that’s what i didn’t know during my own time


[User] Yeah

[Assistant] Because then…


[User] … I think  they used to do like some courses if you’re studying banking and finance, they use to do some courses from the insurance errrrm…errrm… department but it’s now it’s a department on its own but it’s still under…banking and finance

[Assistant] Okay


[User] We share the same HOD and the rest

[Assistant] Okay, okay. So…but when you graduate your certificate will read…


[User] Errm the… It will read errm banking and finance alternate insurance.

[Assistant] Sorry…?


[User] Alternate insurance. Like the ones I’ve seen in the previous session, that’s how it is on their certificate

[Assistant] Ohhhhh!


[User] Yes ma

[Assistant] Your set is..errm


[User] Coz… errm our, bulk of our work is banking and finance. We do like every semester, we do like three banking and finance courses then four insurance and other from, others from business or just business banking, business banking, business. That’s what we borrow from.

[Assistant] Okay


[User] But straight up  sha, like this my four hundred level now, I’m doing, I’m doing two banking and finance courses, I think; marketing services and… I’ve forgotten the other one then the, the insurance proceeds; we have errm, we have Law of insurance Nigeria, errm…, pension schemes, errm, property and pecuniary insurance. I think in second semester, we have deviation insurance, errm… mtcheew… i can’t remember enough. I think we, i know we, i’m very sure we have vision insurance. Then pecuniary; we look at the other parts of pecuniary insurance as well.

[Assistant] Okay


[User] Then we drop, I think we are gonna be doing just one combine course for us. Probably, part two of marketing, eh, bank eh, banking and finance courses.()

[Assistant] That’s good! Are you from here?Are you from Edo?


[User] Yes, Yes

[Assistant] AhAhn…


[User] I’m from eh, Esan west

[Assistant] From where?


[User] Esan west

[Assistant] Eastern west


[User] E…san west local gov…

[Assistant] …san… west


[User] Yes! Esan west local government area of Edo State

[Assistant] …of Edo State.


[User] Yeah

[Assistant] Okay. That’s good! And you are in what level?


[User] 400 hundred level

[Assistant] 400 hundred level is the final year?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Okay


[User] Final year

[Assistant] That’s good and you can’t wait, you can’t wait to graduate


[User] Yes, I can’t wait o. Even this semester is is… getting too long. Although I spent like, before resumption, like i spent like two weeks at home just for school and to for me to settle down.

[Assistant] But it’s still too long. I’ve been in school for two months now or less. Let me say like six weeks now. A semester is too big, I don’t know why! like, I just want to end


[User] When are you su…, when are you supposed to end this semester?

[Assistant] This semester. Probably…July, middle July or middle July, middle July.


[User] That’s in the next erm…two months

[Assistant] Yes, middle July


[User] How come erm the school system is not the same in every university here or what because if you go to touniben; I think they are done with the…

[Assistant] This is Uniben


[User] Sorry! U…niversity of Ibadan

[Assistant] University of Ibadan


[User] They are done with their exams

[Assistant] Errrrrrm… I think University of Ibadan they are not part of this errrm… union ASUU


[User] The University of Ibadan?

[Assistant] Ehhn


[User] Really?

[Assistant] I don’t think they are part of this ehn yes, i…i’m not sure but I know errm, my brother, my brother schools at…


[User] Okay

[Assistant] They are not part of it; he’s at home now, he’s preparing for second semester. Same as eh Abraka. I heard Abraka, I think they are back to school for second semester. Those are…I think I am very sureAbraka is not part of ASUU


[User] O…k

[Assistant] The reason why I was just beginning is because of the ASUU strike that started last year and ehhhh election. You know there was election, February. So, we had to wait till…March. We had to wait till March for us to resume. So, a lot of things sha


[User] So, when you people were at home; they were studying?

[Assistant] Others, other students were studying


[User] That’s what, maybe people in Ibadan and people in Abraka…

[Assistant] They were studying


[User] Okay…

[Assistant] Yes. I think eh, I think as at February or so, my cousin in Abraka was already done with first semester exam, I’m not really sure  sha but February, March he was already done. My brother just finished I think errm, two weeks ago or thereabout at...


[User] Okay

[Assistant] So that’s it


[User] Okay

[Assistant] Well, with the new calendar now, probably, God willingly, we will be grad, i will be… graduating now, ending  this section by November. That’s if, i…i heard there is this ehhhh threat from ASUU that they are embarking on new strike. So… but as at…


[User] And i know you’re praying seriously that they will not

[Assistant] That’s why I said God willingly


[User] I know you’re praying seriously that they will not embark on it until you graduate

[Assistant] _ No, Yes, I’m, I’m, I’m praying because so far, I g…I guess I’ve observed like three strikes. .. just it won’t take long  sha like one month, one week when I was in hundred level second semester, when I was in two hundred level, two hundred level going to three hundred level. I think that was the, I think is the longest and since I’ve been in this school six months


[User] Wao!

[Assistant] We had to resume last year January. Then the other, this one that just passed now


[User] Wao!

[Assistant] Let’s just say put together like, we’ve actually been at home since I gained admission, I’ve been at home because of strike for like, mtchew, let’s just say nine months. Nine or between seven or nine months, between seven or nine months.


[User] And you’re still graduating the normal time you are supposed to graduate

[Assistant] Just… we didn’t know


[User] Because they didn’t add the, eh the nine months you stayed at home. Did they add it?

[Assistant] They didn’t add it


[User] ehn! You see… that’s the problem with our education system!

[Assistant] If, if, if, errm these strikes now, like, when I was in hundred level, by the time, by this time hundred level, I was already resuming second semester; we’ve already started second semester. So, by July, we were done with second semester. So, which means by July, if those strike didn’t occur, by July, I should be graduating. But it’s different now.


[User] Okay! I pray that you graduate. That no strike will hold you back

[Assistant] No… no strike, no strike. We pray almost every day. Per Sunday’s special prayer


[User] Thank you so much for giving me your time.

[Assistant] Thank you ma!


[User] I was like,.. I want to seriously record it

[Assistant] Ah! Omo we don forget wetin we dey talk just now sef


[User] just continue wetin you dey talk abeg

[Assistant] Mey we continue?


[User] abeg continue, I can even follow una go, come meh we dey go jareh

[Assistant] ehn… meh we dey, meh we dey waka dey go ehn nah no problem. it will be, it will be better that way


[User] mey we dey go jareh

[Assistant] But languages…


[User] so… are you from here?

[Assistant] hmmmm… not really, onwa


[User] from where?

[Assistant] onwa


[User] Ah Ah! Where is onwa?

[Assistant] Still in Edo State


[User] awwwww in Edo State and you are from here?

[Assistant] E Edo State, yeah


[User] Edo State too? Okay and eh you people speak eh pidgin so well there? Seriously

[Assistant] So well


[User] Okay that’s lovely

[Assistant] mama that one eh,


[User] the thing no gree click o

[Assistant] e no just, e no just enter again


[User] As in eh

[Assistant] why e no enter nah, eh wetin come happen?


[User] Like say you just dey follow us for back ehen

[Assistant] ehen you for


[User] dey record am, e for even good

[Assistant] you for deydey record am we for no even know say you dey record am sef ehen, you for just dey record am quietly quietly


[User] ehnnn but, but if I, if I dey follow una like that una go think ah ahn; this one weydey follow me like that wetin come happen

[Assistant] ehen, no pro_BLem, after wey you don record am ehen, you just tell us ehn, o boy we been record una ehen


[User] Bros, how far?

[Assistant] _ hey how e be bros?


[User] wetin dey happen naw?

[Assistant] bros nothing much o, we just still dey nah


[User] no be lie nah, no be lie. Nna which side you dey go?

[Assistant] Me? I just dey excort you


[User] ah ahn!

[Assistant] make I go see person there


[User] na excursion you dey do so?

[Assistant] ehn nna na excurse, na my guy nah, e just wan see me off  nah


[User] eh how come e be like say una no dey together, this one you dey excort am?

[Assistant] no


[User] no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Assistant] You are separate


[User] yes

[Assistant] yeah


[User] okay. Errm, which level are you?

[Assistant] 3


[User] 300 hundred and you?

[Assistant] 4


[User] 400 hundred! Ohooo! Graduation level. Which subject?

[Assistant] Errrm… Geology


[User] Geology! Oh my God! You want to work in Oil Company eh?

[Assistant] yeah


[User] this boy! In the next two years…

[Assistant] yes nah


[User] look for this boy

[Assistant] Ah, sure, sure


[User] This boy will be one big boy

[Assistant] save my number o


[User] well well

[Assistant] Ah ahn!Abeg!


[User] I’ve saved the number o

[Assistant] Give me the num…ber!  Abeg!


[User] I’ve saved the number

[Assistant] I wan save the number abeg! Ah, no forget give me that number o


[User] No wahala

[Assistant] Because I know say the next time I go ask of this boy, this boy be one big boy for shell…


[User] Yes nah!

[Assistant] …like this:


[User] Sure, sure, sure!

[Assistant] ah ahn!


[User] Is a must nah

[Assistant] Eh…yah!


[User] Na there we dey ooo

[Assistant] That’s lovely!


[User] it’s everybody’s dream, oil Company.

[Assistant] if it’s not Oil Company, it’s nothing


[User] And you, what are you studying?

[Assistant] Survey


[User] Survey! Survey!

[Assistant] yeah


[User] Seriously? What are you surveying? Which area of survey? As in…

[Assistant] Land…


[User] Oh! Land Survey!

[Assistant] Agro…


[User] Ohhhhhh! Okay! That’s lovely!

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] I will like to turn back from here o. you too much nah

[Assistant] mama don do am


[User] Mama you fit, you fit follow am dey go back

[Assistant] bye bye Oya come meh I follow you go back. Where you dey go so sef?


[User] Back

[Assistant] Back, this way or this way?


[User] This way

[Assistant] Okay! See boys dey here dey speak pidgin eh, dey blow the thing eh!


[User] But if you come like tell them say okay! idey record am;mtchew, the… dem go com dey conscious of speaking it.

[Assistant] Eh…eh! That is what has been happening to me o. Anybody I approach, I will say at least I’m doing research, this and that, they will be so conscious of whatever they are saying


[User] yeah

[Assistant] But if you just record it without their knowledge, you will just see them in their natural form. but it’s so difficult to record without their knowledge.


[User] Yeah, yeah!

[Assistant] So difficult. You can only do it if you get a student that is in their midst but no student has agreed to help me. I don’t know if you will help me.


[User] Errm, like how do you want it?

[Assistant] what I want? Anything! I just want to get students talk in their natural form. You understand? And it can only happen when a student helps me. Like, you are in the, you are one of them now. You just come in their midst and put on your recording, do you understand? That way you can get me just natural conversation, you understand?


[User] Like maybe, football argument or?

[Assistant] Anything…


[User] But in pidgin

[Assistant] ust anything. Not only in pidgin. Just natural way you people talk. They mix English and pidgin. Just let me have it the natural way it is, don’t be conscious of it , the language, just give me how the discussion is. You understand? Please, I will be so happy if you help me.


[User] ehn… that means, I will have to give you…

[Assistant] Porter jam me when, when we dey enter… Block B; na im Porter see us. When Porter, come stand, come say we go enter  man o war this thing, Porter just waka comot. Wetin the Porter wan talk? On a norm sef, red cross suppose know say girls dey enter.. dem dey enter their room.


[User] dem dey carry girls enter?

[Assistant] on a steady every every… no be say na one… that time wey Anonymous dey here sef.. I know say people wey dey come here .. Anonymous.. eeh.. that guy na bloody bloody.. that guy eeh… mtcheew… that’s ..I know how many fresher him don collect.. him and elder, their two.. Elder no dey Red cross again.


[User] Entertainer.. one guy say na entertainer.. haha..

[Assistant] no.. the thing be say..


[User] na red cross

[Assistant] no.. he dey shape am easily…


[User] na red cross e dey..

[Assistant] I never see the guy go for any of their red cross thing before


[User] ahah—how many ok.. their investiture, how many people dey invest here? Their investisure, Dave, no be me and you stand sit down for there dey look them. How many people invest? They no reach twelve..

[Assistant] wey invest for their investisure..


[User] serious?

[Assistant] I come see one girl.. the girl come say…


[User] all the people wey them recruit

[Assistant] I come ask one girl.. she come say.. she be red cross, she come say she dey part of them. I come say why she no dey? She now said.. mere looking at it.. that people she recruited with are not even there.  I come dey ask, say which kind..


[User] dem reach 40 or 50 people nah

[Assistant] mtcheew… them recruit eeh. Na short course.. their investisure na f9


[User] Anonymous use two months of IT names.. Oma bus come carry officers.. come dey tell me say na only twelve people.. na wa o.. one thing be say dem get members, but dem no get person wey dey come outside.. dem get members like people wey just say.. ah.. make I just join.. mah just join…

[Assistant] Dem get plenty people wey…


[User] dem get members…

[Assistant] But dem no get active officers


[User] … members wey dem get..i get another person wey dey tell me.. how many persons dem dey see.

[Assistant] We dey call our own IT Emoko. But dem dey call their own bastards.. … even that name alone dey chase person comot


[User] you no see that mugu.. that mugu wey run comot like that....

[Assistant] who?


[User] one slim guy like that…

[Assistant] wetin you come go do am?


[User] he come go meet Anonymous.. he jam Anonymous nah.. I no know say.. me sef no know say Anonymous get hot head.. na for our front.. for this cavat for here..

[Assistant] ehen..


[User] Na me Anonymous and Anonymous. We come charge the guy.. we come be like, oya Dj.. the guy come dey explain something give Anonymous. Anonymous come dey ask am say why he no come for one thing like that..  "who gave you form to fill"?....  "Did you tell Anonymous that you are not coming"? He say ehen...  He say oya.. release your handset.. I say eeh.. Anonymous come talk say.. collect collect everything.. Mtcheew.. I no know say that one get hot head.. I still dey talk am since last year.. I no dey see Anonymous again.

[Assistant] I see am o..


[User] I know am o.

[Assistant] I no dey see am o.. I see am when he first newly.. when school newly start


[User] I still see am this week sef.. I still see am this week

[Assistant] I never see Anonymous since I come here.. since then, I never see ANONY. But day don dey dark.. make I come dey go house


[User] oya come make we dey go.. make we reach o..

[Assistant] I no dey enter..


[User] you go stay for house, I go go bring your your phone

[Assistant] I dey o, how your side nah? You no go church today o


[User] I go church nah

[Assistant] Where you from dey come from?


[User] Good evening!

[Assistant] Good evening!


[User] I go shop

[Assistant] Wetin you go do for there?


[User] Why you dey always...

[Assistant] Wetin you hold for here? Wetin be this?


[User] Ehn, I go collect soup come

[Assistant] You go collect soup with wetin? Wetin you want use chop am?


[User] Na eba nah, make I come your room nah, abeg!

[Assistant] Eh!


[User] Make I come your room

[Assistant] How far you… Why you dey do like that nah?


[User] Na because nah …

[Assistant] Come! Wait nah! Just like that?


[User] Give me money. na money I want. Dash me money abegi!

[Assistant] Is it soup that is in this thing?


[User] Yes!

[Assistant] Seriously?


[User] I’m serious  nah

[Assistant] It’s not true


[User] I don tell you, na soup nah!

[Assistant] Wait, the soup you cooked in your room?


[User] In somebody’s room. One of my cousin’s place, he stays in Ofoma

[Assistant] And gave you this little one? So when you get there you buy only...garri


[User] I will not even buy garri sef. I will look for someone who will give me

[Assistant] Why naw?


[User] That's life

[Assistant] Is it that you are broke now?


[User] Eh ... something like that

[Assistant] Even if you give a student hundred thousand while coming to school, he always get broke


[User] But is it the end of the term?

[Assistant] No, no, it's mid semester


[User] How come you are broke at the middle of the semester

[Assistant] It's mid semester naw, exam is next month.


[User] Seriously it's mid semester, 2/3 of the semester is gone

[Assistant] Which room you dey stay naw?


[User] ...Block A, ...

[Assistant] I go come visit you


[User] ...I no understand you

[Assistant] Don't worry, I go come visit you. We have a witness here


[User] Eheh

[Assistant] Let me see what I've got, oh two minutes


[User] …They are behaving wicked, they know what they are doing

[Assistant] They know what they are doing


[User] They just want to stress somebody, that’s the one they are doing now

[Assistant] Ah ah! That day I was surprised,  I say shoo Tobe!


[User] If you were in the house will he cook that day?

[Assistant] You say?


[User] If you were in the house will he cook that day?

[Assistant] No nah, what’s up?


[User] Ehhhen you see… even my younger brothers, that’s how they do ooo. Even, see eh, there is one habit now I’m, I’m, I’m certain I’m going to likely have when I, when I marry. For me to wake up and cook in the morning to prepare eh breakfast is very difficult for me.

[Assistant] Why?


[User] Because my brothers, my younger ones, they are already use to, my sister cannot enter the kitchen in the morning, so let’s go and look for something to eat.

[Assistant] Something to eat.


[User] That’s what they do ooo. They are the ones that, that, are fixing themselves up, as far as I’ve cooked in the evening and there’s food in the house; you can go and warm and eat food. When in the afternoon maybe there is no food now, maybe I’m busy, I went to work, they will prepare something, in the evening I will come back and cook. But that morning, that time I will rest, I will now go and prepare something for one person ah! My younger ones, if it’s me, it’s very, very hard o.

[Assistant] Hmmm. But you need to change it o…


[User] That’s one thing. I’ve tried to…

[Assistant] Because, If you have a child that has to leave for school very early, as early as 7


[User] Don’t I use to prepare food in the morning before I go to school? But they are, they are using it to torment me, me I’m now using it against them. In the morning, they use to stress somebody

[Assistant] I don’t know why the younger ones are always like that sometimes


[User] Well, if my daddy is around, I use to prepare food for him, but it's my, me and my younger one; No, everybody go and hustle for yourself

[Assistant] You’re the first child?


[User] Hmmm! I’m the only girl o and they use to suffer me

[Assistant] Hmm, hmmmm… how many boys?


[User] 4

[Assistant] Oh my God!


[User] They use to disturb me a lot o

[Assistant] So, I don’t know, say all this younger ones and their wahala sometimes…


[User] Seriously, I can’t even send all of them message and they don’t use to obey o

[Assistant] As in…


[User] They don’t have anything to offer them

[Assistant] They will now be one to using height, they want to…


[User] Yes o, heights to…

[Assistant] … start using height to intimidate you


[User] Anonymous, I don’t even talk when my, our… last born…, I told him to help me wash just two clothes,  Do you know that he didn’t wash it, he told that there’s no water and he didn’t wash it, I … wash it yesterday before i came.

[Assistant] You can’t imagine


[User] Shey you see! I can’t send them, if I, if I want to send them, I have to put money on top

[Assistant] Sometimes, it's me, I will now have to like put so much pressure. No be me go cook food? No be, na me go cook food, come and chop the food wey I cook nah


[User] My parents no go even gree sef

[Assistant] I pray! Okay nah! My parents, my parents will shout o.  They will quarrel but so far you don’t do the work wey I tell you say make you do, that’s just it


[User] That my brothers can frustrate

[Assistant] They, that time, they hear, dem dey hear am..., that time when we were staying with Anonymous, that we’ll, they will tell us to do housework coz errm, especially on Saturdays like this, we will wash eh, we’ll, I will wash clothes and that time, my cousins were still living with us; that my uncle’s two children were living with us, my plus my parents; my mummy and my daddy will bring their own clothes, I will wash plus my cousin’s own, that’s clothes for many people. I will still sweep, I will still mop, I will still cook, the plates Anonymous will wash, he will not wash, I will still wash it because if he does not wash the plate he will now ask me question like, what are you a senior for?


[User] That’s the, that was how, if he’s…, he also ask me what I’m a senior for, It will now pain me. The one that will burst my head is… Are you not the girl in the house?

[Assistant] Can you imagine? So, because you’re a girl…


[User] Hmmm. That’s, that’s what my mummy use to say . Are you not,  who be girl, na dem go marry follow you? Say las, las, dem go carry one girl come.  The thing is annoying

[Assistant] Yeah but, it’s not encouraging at all


[User] No, it’s not o

[Assistant] Because even they themselves, they will now be living their own life on their own with laxity; they will not be able to do housework.


[User] See, see, see, see Anonymous I’m staying with now, when I came that first time for clearance, the bathroom hmmm? He didn’t wash it, I was the one that washed it. It was when Tessy even used the bathroom, Tessy said that this toilet is itching her, I washed it.  I tell you, since that time I left, about four weeks ago, they’ve not washed that toilet. Yesterday I came, when there was water, I washed that toilet around eh after three

[Assistant] In the morning?


[User] I dey tell you. When they were… I was fetching water; I have to wash that toilet.

[Assistant] Jesus!


[User] I wash the toilet, I came, see… the room was very dirty and he knew, he knows I was coming o, he didn’t sweep. I have to sweep yesterday and I swept it this morning. Even those girls, that, those girls staying for…this boy’s house, Victor’s house that time said your room is very dirty ooo, your kitchen is very neat o()

[Assistant] You can imagine


[User] your kitchen is very neat o

[Assistant] If it’s Victor that is there, he will be able to clean the house on his own eh, but now that is the younger brother, he’s not able to do it


[User] Nothing! Because he’s already use to that life nobody use to…

[Assistant] He’s use to it that Victor and the senior ones will do the housework


[User] Do all the work. That’s just it.

[Assistant] The same thing, even this one at home too, for them to do housework; problem o. You will faint, talk, talk…


[User] My dear, to even wash their own clothes sef, especially our second to last born is wahala.

[Assistant] Dem  know  before ah if you don’t wash your cloth  me I will not, how old are you?


[User] Me, wash their cloth…

[Assistant] At your age, I was already washing the cloth of everybody. As at when I was … I could wash the cloth of everybody in the house like 8 clothes.


[User] Not now again , not now again. Me, the only people’s cloth I used to wash in my house is only my mummy’s cloth or maybe my daddy’s own, that’s all. All those ones…

[Assistant] As far as, as far as is my parent’s clothes; I will wash but those grown up big mamas and papas that all they love to be married


[User] Even to wash bath, bathroom and toilet, my brothers they don’t do it o

[Assistant] They cannot


[User] I travelled to the Benin two weeks, they left the bathroom for me to come back and wash it

[Assistant] You can imagine


[User] Yeaheee!

[Assistant] Seriously!


[User] When I entered the place I said  me, I cannot enter this, I had to go, to go and use Anonymous’s bathroom to bath. I closed my eyes, managed, looked for slippers to go and wash that bathroom before I was comfortable because anything dirty eh, my body will start itching me

[Assistant] It will be irritating you


[User] My body will be ... just start itching you. A bin remove the bed sheet since that time, Anonymous did not wash that bed sheet

[Assistant] Did not wash


[User] I told Anonymous this bed sheet is scenting sweat o, wash it  nah; he said he will wash it. This boy washed his clothes, he did not wash the bed sheet.You know what I did, I just carry one cloth from my bag just put my head on the floor like this and raise my head on the bed;  na so I take sleep till day break o, just to because so I will not perceive anything

[Assistant] Because he’s use, he’s used to it at home


[User] When I came here, Anonymous, if you see my face eh, I black, over black. If you see the giant pimples :I’m not joking o. Whether is their water in the hostel o,   abi… is because of the mattress o, I don’t just understand; I was, darker than the way I was, then all my face, pimples reaction: I told Anonymous  nah. I say if you see my face, he was like is it the water or what I’m I reacting to? I say I don’t know o. Quickly no let me lie down for the bed, just pack the bed sheet one side

[Assistant] Hmm. they need…


[User] The thing is if they use that hand to hold them, they will…

[Assistant] Ah, they will continue to spoil o


[User] Hmmm. My brother, ah! No, no, …

[Assistant] They will continue to spoil. I feel they, they should, the parents should like try to create a balance to it that both boys and girls will work


[User] Yes o

[Assistant] hmm. Not that you say ehhhh, what are you a senior for. Is what, the excuse my parents do, my parents will do always tell you, what are you a senior for, ehhn are you not suppose to do eh all the house work? Are you not suppose but the truth is that you are a human being and see, the funniest thing, where we were staying before is small, this place where we are staying is bigger


[User] And even, is even big house, bigger house…

[Assistant] Bigger house!


[User] That can be very dirty. Because, the, the way, the day you will clean that house eh, you will not even…thank God,   na so this house just fine:  oya raise under the chair, you will be seeing dirty

[Assistant] As in… I say, clean, mop, wash. You want to bath?


[User] Anonymous, if I no dey that our house, you cannot enter our kitchen…I’m telling you the fact. If I’m not in that house eh, if you enter our kitchen, if they give you food, you will not eat. Forget the pot but once they, once they are cooking eh, both the maggi nylon o everything on top of the cabinet, they will not even clean anything

[Assistant] And they can the ones, they will just like scatter everywhere


[User] But me,  I will first of all sweep everything, mop everywhere because me, anything dirty eh, my blood hmm, hmm, even the, the easter day, they went to church, my mummy had ehh barbecue contract to do; about 4  abi 5 cartons of Tilapia

[Assistant] Wao!


[User] Immediately she was, eh she said I should not go to church, I should help to go to the market, after she finished it, I went to the house, when I enter kitchen, Ifeoma, I open mouth, I raise my hand like… I have to first of all clean the whole house, clean everywhere, mop it. Finish mobbing, when they came back they said is the food not still ready?

[Assistant] Ehh?


[User] I said ready when you people left the house like that. Before they ate, it was around after 5 o, after 5 that they ate. My brothers eh, their own is too much

[Assistant] Just, is not, I use to, at a time eh, I became tired


[User] Although, if I’m, not in the house, I have this peace. Sometimes I will tell God, I will say God, I cannot wait and get married and leave this house because this house is just stressing me and now,  me I cannot wait to go for service because me I’m tired of the house. Is true o, their own is too much. My parents are not…

[Assistant] Are all of them at home?


[User] Yes o

[Assistant] They are all at home  nah


[User] Why are they? are they not in school?

[Assistant] They’ve not gained admission


[User] Not even your immediate younger one?

[Assistant] No, two, they wrote jamb last year, they didn’t make it. They’re learning… one is learning mechanic, the other one is welding.


[User] Okay

[Assistant] That’s what is … Then, the third one is still in SS2, the last born is in ehhh SS eh 1; that one is learning tailoring then the other one is learning… the last born is learning errr… this barbbing, barbbing’s work


[User] Okay

[Assistant] And after that one, they want to go and put him to learn in the east now


[User] Hope there is.. none of them want to go to university?

[Assistant] They wrote jamb but jamb result is not yet out


[User] Okay

[Assistant] They are too dirty


[User] Eh yah, but it’s good to engage them with things o

[Assistant] Yes o


[User] With all these  things… instead of staying in the house and doing nothing, I like the plan

[Assistant] Because they will, by the time they will enter school, is this kind one, they will pay them 5,000 to cook egusi soup


[User] Yes o

[Assistant] That is without meat and the soup will be watery


[User] I remember somebody once call me say soup without meat

[Assistant] Eh, e get person wey don tell me that stori. he gave the girl 5,000 to cook egusi soup, the girl cooked the egusi soup without meat. By the time he will collect the soup, he cut the soup in his elbow.


[User] Ah God!

[Assistant] abi the one I read online.  The man, the guy, better hungry don beat am for school. His sister now came one day when he came, She say will you learn how to cook food now? Because it’s like when he was at home, he doesn’t use to learn how to cook. He’s like he’s from a wealthy… family. So the sister, housemaid, everybody is there to cook, ehn, he will survive in school  nah. By the time he went to school and came back, the sister now called him one day.  the guy just lie down carry belle face up but when e hit am, na im the sister now come, the sister now call him.  she now say come eheh,  will you learn how to cook now? He said Yes! Yes! I want to learn how to cook


[User] With ambition

[Assistant] And with speed, the sister … how to cook; if not, starvation, hmmm.  And girls, even some girls no get conscience. Dem go collect the money cook yaun, yaun food give you


[User] Even if you give them 5,000, they will use ehhhh 3,000

[Assistant] That’s the girl that collected 5,000 to cook egusi soup without meat  so. That means more than half of the money is…


[User] That means is just 1,000 naira she used to buy egusi and the rest

[Assistant] … and the rest to cook the food. She did not buy meat inside and collected 4,000 naira()


[User] I don’t understand o

[Assistant] Ah! God will help somebody o


[User] Yes o

[Assistant] At all o, all this errrrm…


[User] Nnaa for here nah, do you know they’ve been asking me…

[Assistant] Do you know, do you know, the, you know the funniest thing?


[User] when are you going to serve, you are already due o, you have not still left, you are still here?

[Assistant] They are asking you?


[User] Ev…everyday o, when I’m I going

[Assistant] They don’t want you to leave  nah


[User] They want me to go

[Assistant] I pray o


[User] If you go, who will take care of the house?

[Assistant] Who will take care of the house!


[User] Do you know when I came back, if you see my room… they used my laptop, finished the battery, scattered my bed, they now left. Even my bed, my room was not even swept when they finished using it.Do you know what they told me? This one said it was not him, this one said it was not him.

[Assistant] So, who was, who now did? Is you that came from where you went to and scattered everywhere


[User] That day it was scanty, I wish I will start going, I’ll just tell them let them be doing what they are doing

[Assistant] Even Amara, though Amara is hardworking o to an extent at home, she is hardworking, she does work but by the time she will go, she went to school; I don’t know whether is the school she went to and came back o, to do work, even to cook food for herself to eat is a problem.


[User] Ehhh because she was, she went to where, university?

[Assistant] Ehhhn, university!


[User] Ehhhen nah, she doesn’t cook in school, was she cooking in school?

[Assistant] She’s cooking in school! But e, to the extent that the last time she came, she was seriously sick. Though she said that to they had to read for exam, prepare and… so then, I will tell her and beg, if you see the small thing she will eat, I will now be the one to beg her o that’s why sometimes she will eat


[User] Ah! Beg her to eat  kwa!

[Assistant] Because you know normally, right from time, she doesn’t really eat that much; right from time. Na she be the only baby wey dey that house wey dem dey always dey force to chop food


[User] E… Ebube abi Amara?

[Assistant] Anonymous


[User] Na im dem dey force to eat?

[Assistant] Because when she was a baby she hardly eat. So… mtchew, that time they, one time she was now very sick, they now treated her, they now said that they need to treat, she need to take eh supplement and other things to boost her system so that she can also be able to eat. That is the, the… co, the errrrm system not to be strong enough that’s why she’s not even having appetite to eat the food. So… they now start treating her, she now ate, started eating but as she went to school  nah, whether is the stress of school  nah couple with, you know, sometimes I will now tell her see… please eat. I will now, what I will know do, when I know she is coming, I will now make sure that when, as she is coming, she will be able to eat food in the house; prepare food, she will eat.


[User] Ah! Nawao! Her course is five years  nah?

[Assistant] Four


[User] Okay. What, which course  sef?

[Assistant] Industrial Chemistry


[User] industrial chemistry,  chemistry

[Assistant] It's four years


[User] It's four years

[Assistant] It's not engineeeeeering course like…


[User] The industrial chemistry wait, the petroleum one?

[Assistant] Eh! Federal University of errrr, Petroleum Resources


[User] Okay

[Assistant] She go just do am sharp, sharp!


[User] _ Is it the Amara?

[Assistant] Ehhh!


[User] Amara is your immediate, no, the…

[Assistant] The third born


[User] The second girl

[Assistant] Yes, the second girl and our third born


[User] Okay. Heeeew Anonymous! I like your house

[Assistant] Our house?


[User] Especially your guys, your brothers and that other small girl hmm! That’s the only friends I have in your house

[Assistant] when they want to do their own wahala now, na you go dey run o.


[User] The remaining two of you ehn…

[Assistant] When dem go start their wahala, na you go run o.


[User] I don’t like, I don’t like two of you. As far as I’ve seen Iyke, Tobe…

[Assistant] I pray o. The ones wey use laziness scatter themselves, mtchew…


[User] their house is okay for me

[Assistant] when make e reach errrrm


[User] Yes o! They are fun to be with o

[Assistant] Ehhh! If you’re with Iyke, he will gist with you


[User] Anonymous is the first son?

[Assistant] Ehhhn then To, errm, Anonymous, even on line, me and Anonymous use to chat o


[User] Ehhen nah

[Assistant] We use, we’ll talk, errrm… Ebub… I will just see her the way she use to run around.I will just start laughing. Then, the remaining the two of you, hmm, abeg, you people should go


[User] You mean Anonymous, you mean…

[Assistant] You mean Anonymous and Anonymous?


[User] Eh, Anonymous and Anonymous

[Assistant] No ooo


[User] Their own they tire me, but those the other three,

[Assistant] No ooo, you have not stayed where Amara  o


[User] Eh Eh!

[Assistant] Heeeeeeeeeey, Jesus! If Amara is here talking. If you stay with Amara small, she will… that her razor blade mouth


[User] She talks more than Anonymous?

[Assistant] Ah, Heee… not that she really talks more than Ebube, but when she opens her mouth to talk,


[User] So far as…

[Assistant] You will be begging her to close the mouth.  She get bad mouth sometimes  sha… But…when e reach work, na there she go take dey run


[User] I know say na, na there dem dey take dey run

[Assistant] Na it


[User] You no see the day wey we do anniversary.You no see say Anonymous tell you say im dey run

[Assistant] I vex for Anonymous, I vex for Anonymous for that nonsense wey im dey run


[User] He say see, girls are for, are meant to wash plates,  me I’m going to school the next day but I don’t want to wash plate

[Assistant] No mind them


[User] That is what he even said when they introduced him as boys are…

[Assistant] Girls are meant to wash plate in this generation


[User] In this … that’s the way the parents are …, their upbringing is like that o

[Assistant] Some parents are like that o. My mum did, my mum did not train us like that eh girls should be, I don’t know, it’s just the boys…


[User] My dear, now that they’re coming up, it’s as if their head; they’re now forming big boys…

[Assistant] I don’t know. I don’t understand, it was not like that before. Though when we were small, I, he still use to push them, let’s work. But another thing is the period when Anonymous and Anonymous went to school, so… I gave him… I wasn’t really close to the, to them. Between JS 1 and JS 3, me and Anonymous did not really see that much  nah


[User] Okayyyy

[Assistant] That was three years of him because that was around when I was errrm 11 to 14


[User] And when you came back, you wish,

[Assistant] By the time I was coming back,


[User] You were already in school

[Assistant] Eh heeeeen. Then Anonymous herself too. So that level of having that ehhh…relationship with them okay…


[User] Was not there

[Assistant] Eheeeeen, was not there. Even Anonymous too. SS1 to SS3 I was not really with Anonymous them eheeeen, so… is just that they themselves too…


[User] See, you don dey add weight o

[Assistant] This one na the… ehhhh


[User] The last time I check my weight 53

[Assistant] Ehhhennn. Ah ah, the last time…


[User] Me and you… Aunty, me and her, whose weight bigger?

[Assistant] Bigger how?


[User] In body; who has body

[Assistant] Two of you are almost the same thing, because she doesn’t have body. When you look at her, you think it looks as if she has body; she doesn’t have body


[User] Ehhhheeeen. She doesn’t have anything but now she’s just consuming sugar and fat

[Assistant] But this, this the coke I’m supposed to drink yesterday o. since yesterday coke I’ve been drinking till today o.


[User] Small, small. Go and give it to one of your small girl at home

[Assistant] Ehhhhh, maybe I will give it to them. Errrrm, what did they call it? I’m just thinking, I’m thirsty for water…


[User] Ehheeennn drink   nah, you don’t drink eh…

[Assistant] Is just what I’ve been using for what I drink


[User] I don’t take all these things ooo: I’m watching my weight o. I was bigger than this before  nah, she knows, she knows nah

[Assistant] She was bigger than this before, when, ahhhhhn, Anonymous; the sugar master


[User] I can take…

[Assistant] The one who eats fried plantain more than any other person


[User] I can take two pepsi, as in when I take, I take again

[Assistant] Two big pepsi, hmm


[User] Ah! Very high then With too many, many thing. You were sweating

[Assistant] Ah! Forget  ah o. If it is now; before I use to sweat o


[User] Sweat profusely

[Assistant] As in, you were very, very big?


[User] I was big o

[Assistant] Very big; she was bigger than me then


[User] Bigger than you…

[Assistant] Are you big?


[User] Okay, then you were big too?

[Assistant] I was big ooo, Anonymous was…


[User] Yes, I was weighting 70kg at a time before I now dropped to 60 then, I now move from 60. I’m now weighing between 60 – 63 on weight. So, I used to be very big before, before I now dropped

[Assistant] Who send me 10,000 naira. If it be one customer


[User] Maybe is for business  nah

[Assistant] Mama, I don’t know the customer o


[User] E don reach business, you no know…

[Assistant] Make that man just send money come now, Anonymous go and withdraw my money back.This period now, I’ve try, I’ve already started working out for exercise o


[User] Who is Anonymous? Oh! Really! Is this you?

[Assistant] This‘s me


[User] Wao!

[Assistant] You were, you were weighing up to 70 that time  nah


[User] More than 70. I was up to nine, ninety something

[Assistant] Eighty something, I guess


[User] Ninety something.  Ninety two abi ninety five sef

[Assistant] So… what helped you?


[User] I was drinking…

[Assistant] Exercise


[User] Drinking ginger… and ehhh lemon

[Assistant] Oh! You were taking with me;  abi?


[User] Yes nah, I was taking it o

[Assistant] Wao! After Evelyn wedding when we went to go and do voters card, when I first saw you, I look, I was,  is this Anonymous?


[User] Yes nah

[Assistant] E come be like say you come dey sick malaria


[User] I was now as if I was sick; all my neck was now like this.They were like… ehh, it is malnutrition, I was eating well… That was what they were telling me  nah

[Assistant] Nooo, it was, but it was necessary


[User] See nah

[Assistant] Really? Is this you?


[User] I was, is me ooo. Me I refused to delete all those pictures. if I tell somebody that i’m, I was, i already big before. My house is, my mummy is big, so I’m trying not to be like her. So, that’s what I’m trying to do

[Assistant] Me, when I checked my weight, i…


[User] And fat has a way of making people look older

[Assistant] Yes. Older


[User] She was, she was really looking older than she looks now

[Assistant] Maybe anybody that knows you then and sees you now will think you are your kid sister


[User] Will not recognize you

[Assistant] You were looking like a 30 year old woman


[User] I dey tell you. Even my lecturer said, he said how is your husband? I said I’m not married. When he saw me about four weeks ago nah,  He said you are now looking so young

[Assistant] Wao!


[User] That’s the first thing he tell me, he said you are now looking so young. He said eh eh, I like what I see, not that time you were looking like… like this.  Me I like myself like this. If  I want to even walk down

[Assistant] No, the way you are now is okay


[User] It's okay

[Assistant] Hmm. Don’t work down more


[User] It's okay, just maintain… it doesn’t, that’s what  me I’m doing now. I’m maintaining the pro, since I drop all the way from 70 to 60; at a time, it was even 59  sef

[Assistant] Before you were, before you were even fifty something  sef when we’ve gone to check


[User] When we check

[Assistant] All of a sudden, my sister just go blow


[User] I now, I dise… No, I didn’t want to look so sick I just, apart from that, I was always feeling headache one kind...

[Assistant] So what do you, what do you weigh now?


[User] Now, 63 the last time I checked

[Assistant] Me, I don’t even know my present weight now


[User] Okay; it’s okay

[Assistant] Is Anonymous  that is even 70 with his lege, lege body


[User] With that thin body?

[Assistant] Yes o


[User] That's muscle. Yeah, it's their muscle

[Assistant] Is my daddy that weigh, my daddy weighs sixty, sixty something


[User] No...?

[Assistant] As at eh, as at the last time I knew that he checked it o


[User] It’s so small… It should, it will…

[Assistant] My daddy is very slim o


[User] Your daddy is slim?

[Assistant] Yeah


[User] I said let me come and try

[Assistant] You have graduated?


[User] Yes

[Assistant] Ehhen, she is one of the friends I told you graduated, she finished from Uniben


[User] Aunty ifeoma is my, my former sister that abandoned me

[Assistant] I did not abandon her o


[User] You abandon me

[Assistant] I did not abandon her, I did not abandon her o.


[User] You people didn’t …

[Assistant] Is she that's the one that ran away and left me


[User] Me I did not run away.How is Mummy nah?

[Assistant] Mummy it's fine, she’s okay


[User] With Anonymous all?

[Assistant] They are fine, they are, all of them are in Warri


[User] Alright, I told mummy when I come back fully from…, I will come to the house

[Assistant] Yes, I don’t even know  sef


[User] Please, I need to watch my weight o

[Assistant] Na only, na only small weight you wan watch, we go even wa...


[User] They said i’m too fat

[Assistant] We go even watch our height join. Abeg you, how many weight person dey watch, abeg, how long will you continue to…?


[User] I need to reduce o

[Assistant] Ehhh, it's good sha


[User] The thing is costing me ooo

[Assistant] But you are able to… errrm…


[User] I just came in today o

[Assistant] Seriously!


[User] I just dey come like this

[Assistant] I came in yesterday, we were looking for where to even stay that yesterday.


[User] Okay

[Assistant] So, but it was ehn, Uniben guest house we were able to find


[User] E make sense

[Assistant] That’s it. Which side are you staying?


[User] I’m going to Chika’s place o, towards the other place

[Assistant] Okay, Anonymous’s…


[User] Eheen. Hmmm, maybe tomorrow if I have any good feedback, just praying for the best. If they say I should stay maybe two three days I will get it then…

[Assistant] You are, you are very certain


[User] Anonymous, they said we should come three weeks times, this is even fourth week

[Assistant] Ah!


[User] So, yes  nah! Four weeks plus  sef. I want to go tomorrow. Some said they are through, some said  they are talking to them rudely.

[Assistant] Okay


[User] So, I said let me come and try whether they will answer me well. So, Anonymous said even though it’s 12:00 I should just try and be around like that. One of my friends told me she said they will just, I should be nice to them, just follow them and laugh, talk to them what I really need for my NYSC.

[Assistant] What, what do you want, what exactly do you want?


[User] : it’s statement of result

[Assistant] Okay, of course, you need your statement of result


[User] They don’t want to release it o and they said other departments they have already started giving them their own.

[Assistant] : And your own department, why e be say the thing dey take time like that


[User] Even our department is even slow in everything

[Assistant] Because I remember say when you, una need to fill result… Economics and statistics na one of the last eh this thing


[User] Never come out

[Assistant] The thing eh, e dey stress me


[User] Just tire o. Uniben eh, the way that status be, na so dem just dey dull people dey do . Even when you want to collect your result, they will bend you

[Assistant] With vex o


[User] : Ah! Abeg It’s not easy o. What eh, I will just tell you is that you just put it in, you just be praying about it, just be praying about it, so that you can get the result once. So, when is batch, batch, next batch?

[Assistant] Batch B is coming, is going June 8, 18


[User] And they’ve started the registration

[Assistant] And registration is going to be, they said portal is going to open this month


[User] Okay…

[Assistant] And we’ve not even seen and I need to collect and write my name in student’s affairs


[User] You will what?

[Assistant] When you collect the statement, you will put down your name…


[User] In student’s affairs

[Assistant] And they will send it to Abuja before Abuja will release the name


[User] So, how will they now do all this one?

[Assistant] Ahhh it’s true because I remember Anonymous said something like that


[User] Like that?

[Assistant] Ehhhen. Anonymous said they will have to… in Victor’s own, I don’t just know how God just did it eh


[User] Na God o

[Assistant] Last minute they sent the result, as they sent the result, he was able to and they extend the, I think they extended the date


[User] Yes

[Assistant] For the… expiration. The extended the date. It was not easy


[User] He is lucky and they even took him to a better place

[Assistant] In good place. Ebonyi State for that matter.


[User] He is lucky ooo

[Assistant] E make sense as in eh e just too make sense


[User] Okay, call up has started coming out?

[Assistant] It will soon come out


[User] It will soon start

[Assistant] How did you know where they put you?


[User] Ehhh, they will post it, they will post it on their… page

[Assistant] Their page. Your name will come out on the list that you are going


[User] And school need to send your name first

[Assistant] So, it’s the..., they need to send her own name to… their…


[User] NYSC

[Assistant] NYSC office at Abuja, Before her name can come out


[User] Statement never come out

[Assistant] And statement needs to come out first. So…


[User] I can’t come and stress myself

[Assistant] When is the next, the next batch going?


[User] After the that June, the second errrm… it will be, the next one will go June twenty something to August and me I don’t want to go to that stream two, stream one will be…: That is all those collecting it quick

[Assistant] By the time you finish, you finish ending of the year, you will finish early: Because now as Victor went late in November last year, he will finish November this year


[User] I need to be early

[Assistant] Don’t worry it will work out fine


[User] Don’t worry it can work out fine

[Assistant] Amen ooo


[User] It will work out fine. I even shock when I see you, I no cause I think say you no dey school

[Assistant] Me, I no even know say you dey, me all my plan I just..., I’ve been planning it I will be coming to Warri, coming to Warri, coming to Warri. My mummy just say let me just go today since everybody is just mtchew, saying it like that


[User] Talking about it.

[Assistant] Let me just go and since the guy said come three weeks or one month time


[User] But yes, do they open on Saturday?

[Assistant] No, ... Fridays


[User] Okay, because yesterday when I was close to that health side, they were, their offices was not open, so I was that’s why I said let me ask you whether they open weekend

[Assistant] So, that means Monday to Friday


[User] Even Monday, hmmm.Tomorrow nah, tomorrow morning I will go there

[Assistant] Tomorrow is Monday that they would have rested, refreshed, eaten enough chicken and salad and all the rest I respect to…


[User] That’s the best, I don’t know what … do

[Assistant] …themselves


[User] Even when I went for the clearance the man was talking to me nicely o.  E dey enter their head

[Assistant] You know say ChiChi eh, sometimes eh, I no just understand. But I, sometimes you o enter, Just pray say you o just dey their good book when you just arrive…


[User] Amen oooooo

[Assistant] If they see you, they will just…, the beauty of the Lord is upon you


[User] Amen oooooo

[Assistant] And they will just answer you once. No, seriously o, ah!


[User] Amen o. I’m just tired. I just enter bus I was not smiling, I was just frowning. Why I go dey…

[Assistant] Why you go dey smile?


[User] Because hmmm, see ehhen, for how many weeks

[Assistant] Ah but sha, e reach to vex


[User] Where, where did you, where did you come from?

[Assistant] Warri


[User] She live in the same Warri with us

[Assistant] Ahhn yes, we live in we live In Warri


[User] We live together. We live in, we live in Warri. She she is staying at Igboroke, me I live at ehhhegbono, ekpokoko side; that’s where I stay so, but school; that’s what brought us together

[Assistant] … the same hostel   sef


[User] All of us we were in the same hostel. When I first gain admission, it was her place I stayed …before I now finally got my own

[Assistant] The same hostel. All of us we were like sisters, we used to quarrel later we will settle


[User] All of us, we are, we no, we will quarrel ourselves, we will settle ourselves. We still quarrel again…

[Assistant] So, that is how it has always …, it’s like our hostel was like a family


[User] family house

[Assistant] It doesn’t, we don’t relate to each other like as if we are from different mothers. We will, eh you can sleep in your neighbour’s house, you can go to if you are, if a person is not feeling fine, is everybody that is not feeling fine. How are you? How are you doing? Eh…


[User] Have you eaten?

[Assistant] I remember one time I was rushed to the clinic  nah, it was ehhh Victor and my cousin that followed me


[User] I wasn’t around

[Assistant] You were in, you were not around


[User] Okayyy! It was that night, they said I should not go. They said it was too late

[Assistant] That it was late. They now carried me to… the… hospital that day. No, they are, they are wonderful and I’ve, is them that has been my friend ri…ght from time till now. Anonymous nah, Anonymous is my friend, he comes to the house, she herself too, she comes to the house. My mum, my mum accepted all of them as my friends. So… I did not, we don’t even relate like friends sef, we relate more like siblings;brothers and sisters. So, that’s how it has and some of us we are not like their, like Ifunanya  nah. Ifunanya is in Lagos.


[User] Jesus! Are you serious?

[Assistant] Yes, she is in Lagos. She’s now eh, she’s now a tailor. She now does, eh she designs cloth and make ahh. She’s doing well for herself. I saw, I normally see her post sometimes, her pictures for the dresses that she made.


[User] Did she graduate from here?

[Assistant] Yes, she graduated too from here. She did eh English and Literature. Ehen, she did English and Literature. Well as in, her wonderful family


[User] That’s good

[Assistant] Amazing!


[User] Okay nah

[Assistant] Thank you ma!


[User] Bye!

[Assistant] Try, try and go and rest


[User] Maybe tomorrow we will see

[Assistant] Tomorrow, I will call you  nah


[User] Tomorrow we’ll see

[Assistant] Don’t tell me that you changed number o because that’s how you used to do


[User] No, my number, my number is still the same

[Assistant] Come and give me your whatsapp number, I don’t understand


[User] You don’t have it

[Assistant] Is that other one I have


[User] This one of eh, 09024

[Assistant] That one is my airtel


[User] Ehhhen, that’s the one I have

[Assistant] Okay, is that the only one you have?


[User] Ehhen!

[Assistant] That’s my MTN. You know, you remember when you called me that time, my…


[User] I told you to send me your errm, the MTN, you did not send it

[Assistant] I forgot, don’t mind me. My MTN line, I put the sim inside phone and the thing stopped working all of a sudden, stopped working. So I had to go and retrieve it.


[User] Serious?

[Assistant] So, I lost a lot of contact. All… almost all the number, even ehhh, Anonymous’s number, ehh… Anonymous’s number, a lot of them; I lost their. Is if the person now call me, I will now try to use my hear to recognize the voice, then I will now save the person’s number. Some I will just say  abeg, please tell me, what’s your name? I will, if I cannot be able to recognize the voice. So…


[User] My dear… my dear friend. I will call you  nah; tomorrow.

[Assistant] No problem. Tomorrow we’ll see


[User] Thank you ma!

[Assistant] Bye!


[User] Bye! Bye!! Ma!

[Assistant] Okay, no problem. Take care!


[User] So I don’t Know; what do you want to say  about that girl

[Assistant] That babe


[User] yeah

[Assistant] That girl dey ok to my liking. she is very quiet, you know.  I dey  like that kind girl. she is  very quiet.


[User] The last time I saw her, it was in the night  sha, so I didn’t see her very well, so but today am surprise, she is ok. She is dark.she make sense, I didnt expect to see her

[Assistant] that one dey naw.  when you were telling me that you wanted to go and see her, I was like guy I hope say she dey ok.  no be person wey we  go go meet …


[User] I don tell you say the girl no dey ok. I don dey surprise the time I come see am. So I dey surprise unto say the girl make sense self.  Na to go help us she come dey yan me unto say im no need  all this relationship stuff. That it is too early to begin to tell her say I  like am.

[Assistant] No it's never too early  naw. Is she not in first year?, you just asked her out and she came and you just told her what your mind is. So why is she telling you that……. Where did you say you even   meet am sef.


[User] for thateheee opposite of that UNN Library

[Assistant] ok that UNN Library.  wetin carry you go UNN Library, wetin you go do  for UNN Library


[User] That day wey Annonymous come UNN. So that night I just... when coming back, I saw her sha, say hello. just stopped her, talked to her and I collect number that night. Then we start calling and chatting and I just dey  see am today.

[Assistant] Then which department is the girl?


[User] She said   agric extension

[Assistant] She said agric extension; na waa o! . But she is, I like her structure. she is very calm. That’s  the girl wey I dey like. That kind girl I dey like am oooooo. Wetin you be tell am before she  gree give you her number.