row_id,ID,Document_ID,Paragraph,Tuples
0,P0001,1r8jgeu,"In many jurisdictions, the doctrine of proportional force applies, wherein harm to a perpetrator greater than the degree of harm they were willing to inflict on you, you are criminally responsible. This undermines the victim's ability to protect their life in favour of the initiator. In an altercation, the initiator will always be at an advantage. Most times there are only seconds to react, and expecting somebody to accurately asses the level of threat beyond ""imminent bodily harm"" in this time is unreasonable. The initiator gets to choose the time, place, and method, while the victim has none of those luxuries. Attacking a person indicates an understanding that they can and will react with potentially lethal force.","[{'e1': 'This ', 'e2': ""the victim's ability to protect their life "", 'relation': 'undermines ', 'condition': 'in favour of the initiator.'}, {'e1': ' the initiator ', 'e2': 'an advantage', 'relation': 'will always be at ', 'condition': 'In an altercation'}]"
1,P0002,1r8ligb,"Portugal, using primitive seafaring technology discovered, then settled the previously uninhabited island of Madeira beginning in 1420. The Madeirans, have built a unique culture and are genetically distinctive from mainland Portuguese. They have unique dances, music, and culinary culture. Yet despite being the first inhabitants of the Island, and their unique culture, they are not considered indigenous. 
  
  let’s compare another island people who also settled an uninhabited island and build a unique culture after their ancestors set off on boats and navigated the open seas. I am referring to the Māori who are referred to as indigenous to New Zealand, even though they came to island a mere 100 years before the Portuguese settled Madeira.
  
  I am willing to change my view, if an explanation can address why these two populations with similar settlement pattern are classified differently.","[{'e1': 'Portugal ', 'e2': 'the previously uninhabited island of Madeira beginning in 1420', 'relation': 'settled ', 'condition': 'using primitive seafaring technology discovered'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'my view', 'relation': ' am willing to change ', 'condition': 'if an explanation can address why these two populations with similar settlement pattern are classified differently. '}]"
2,P0003,1r8llzu,"This is a bit of a niche thing, but this really bugs me, so I felt the need to talk about it and see if I am wrong about this.
  
  
  For those who have not heard of this case, Barron v. Baltimore was a case that decided that the 5th amendment (along with the other initial amendments) did not apply to the states of America and only applied to the federal government. The reasoning they gave was that the Bill of Rights was *intended* to apply only to the federal government, despite any textual evidence of that intention in the Bill of Rights.
  
  
  This is not much of an issue compared to back in the day, since the 14th amendment incorpated these rights to state governments; however, the selective application since then has not been consistent. I also think selective incorporation is wrong, but that is not the main issue of this CMV, as my position would eliminate the need for Incorporation period. 
  
  There is nowhere in the Constitution that prevents the Bill of Rights from being applied to the states. Except for the First Amendment, which explicitly says ""Congress,"" no other amendment indicates that the law is limited to the federal government.
  
  Also, the Supremacy Clause clearly states that the Constitution shall be the supreme law of the land. The nonincorporation of the Bill of Rights into the states directly violates that clause and is unconstitutional.
  
  The *intention* argument is heavily faulty. If the framers really wanted to limit the Bill of Rights to the federal government, they should have written it into the Bill of Rights. One might point to the 10th Amendment as evidence of this, but that is not the case. ""The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.""
  
  The rights described in the Bill of Rights are direct prohibitions of state power against the people. They are not silent or not delegated, but specifically written out in the supreme document of the Constitution. A constitution is no longer a constitution if it can be violated by the underlying powers.
  
  You cannot ascribe an intention to any law or constitution when the text is obvious, as that goes against the very nature of the democratic process and lawmaking. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights were long thought over and debated. To superimpose intentions that have not gone through that democratic process and are evidenced by the actual text goes against the very principle of lawmaking and should not be in place. I am not saying you can never use the intention of lawmakers, but it is a highly subjective method that can be easily abused by the judiciary to pick whatever result they want. The only time that intention should be used to decide the meaning of a law is if the language is either facially ambiguous or so out of date that the word has changed meaning.","[{'e1': ' no other amendment ', 'e2': ' the law is limited to the federal government.', 'relation': 'indicates that', 'condition': 'Except for the First Amendment, which explicitly says ""Congress,""'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': ' the Bill of Rights', 'relation': 'should have written it into', 'condition': 'If the framers really wanted to limit the Bill of Rights to the federal government'}]"
3,P0004,1r8md1d,"As stated above, I believe colonialism is the most logical ""next step"" in human civilization, even today when we speak of conquering the galaxy, we use the term colonize. This is of course strawman by me, it affects the conquered or should I say subjugated people in various different ways, both bad and good alike. A bit to clarify here is that colonialism wasn't a christopher columbus thing, it was an ancient greek thing at first, so I am not talking exclusively about european colonization. I believe I may be making a mistake in my judgement here, but a human society progresses thru the mechanisms of a cancer cell, survive and thrive. 
  
  
  The first tribal communities were effective at surviving, and all the later ones, at thriving. Greed is in human nature, and wanting to own more land, have more resources and have a cheaper workforce isn't something that was considered evil until the arrival of human rights organisations in the last century or two. Does this say that I agree with colonialism? No, I am simply pointing at the inconsistency of calling something immoral judging from a modern criteria, and this especially prominent in those race talks which jump my nerves like a jump rope from the mutual hypocrisy presented by both sides. Some people will deadass stare you in the eyes and argue about how evil and unjust colonialism is and then worship Ceaser like a god or something. 
  
  Again, Leopold the II, horrendous atrocities all over etcetera etcetera, but this is just another hypocrisy of judging the individuals same as the system or the other way around. 
  
  Did colonialism affect the human society in severe and unchangeable ways? YES, so did the invention of the internet, the protestant church, ceasers massacre of the gauls, invention of soap, etc etc etc. Some of these things good, and some bad, it is just that in my opinion, colonialism is used as a ""trick card"", an unequivocal excuse for the failures of certain social groups which were affected by it. It is also used wrongly as a term to describe specifically New age European conquests of Africa and the Americas, as if this was the only type of colonialism, and even as if it were the fault of the evil white man, the advanced gunpowder monster with endless desire and no heart or a soul for another human being. 
  
  Once again, I might be making a mistake, but Ive been a history kid since forever and lately Ive taken interest in political sciences, in a kind of historical sense, putting yourself in the shoes of the people from history has changed my views on the world today a lot, and this one of the opinions that i hold kind of loosely to.","[{'e1': ' colonialism ', 'e2': 'a ""trick card"" ', 'relation': 'is used as ', 'condition': 'in my opinion'}, {'e1': ' colonialism ', 'e2': 'an unequivocal excuse for the failures of certain social groups which were affected by it', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'in my opinion'}]"
4,P0005,1r8ryli,"White and other bright colors shouldn't be used as a ground or floor, especally in games. It makes your character very difficult to see compared to darker colors. Often times the brightness grabs your eyes more than dark. Its even worse if your character blends into the floor. Which often happens.
  
  Dry Dry Desert from Mario Kart 8 is a good example of this. The sand outshines most of the track. Even the damn sky it overpowers in shine.
  
  In the comments I will try to link to a very outrageus example of this. Doesn't seem like I can have images here. But which court is easier to see hmmmmmm?
  
  The pictures on my profile titled yar
  
  Dry Dry Desert is a boring track anyway.","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'worse ', 'relation': ' is even ', 'condition': 'if your character blends into the floor'}]"
5,P0006,1r8tm8t,"White culture or American culture is the dominant culture, so it makes it seem like white people or Americans have no culture because it's the default, when really they do.
  
  Minority culture, like African Americans, is more obvious than the majority culture. (Groups that are separated from the dominant culture tend to develop their own culture and customs.) But if they were the majority, it would be the opposite. African Americans have both American/white culture AND black culture, if that makes sense. (This is just an example.)
  
  If you lived in Japan, for example, you would probably think that Japanese people have no culture since they all act the same as well. You would be the minority there instead as an American or whatever (assuming that you're not already Japanese of course).
  
  There are also many different white cultures from different countries/groups within the broader culture obviously.
  
  It's kind of like people who think they don't have an accent because everyone around where they live has the same accent as them. (Of course, some American accents are more ""neutral"" than others.) I remember when I went to Alaska as a kid and was surprised when they could tell that our family was from the Chicago area by our accents.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'the opposite', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': ' if they were the majority'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'Japanese people have no culture since they all act the same as well', 'relation': 'would probably think that ', 'condition': 'If you lived in Japan'}]"
6,P0007,1r8yest,"First of all, I want to say I do not support ICE or MAGA at all. However, I believe that the recent video of the anti-ICE high-schooler protester who punched the ICE supporter is in the wrong, and it negatively affects American democracy and the Democratic Party.
  
  I'm not going to spend too much time on the morally wrong part, because it's pretty clear: it's morally wrong to punch someone because they don't share the same opinion as you, plain and simple.
  
  Charlie Kirk once said, ""A mark of civilization is that we don’t have to resort to blows or bullets; instead, we can have discourse and debate."" America became the great nation it is today because of the ability for people to speak about their beliefs and against those who abused their power without getting beat up or killed.
  
  And what happened in the video will end in either 2 ways: either the ICE supporter will strengthen his stance against ICE because of his experience with violent anti-ICE supporters, or he'll give in to the violence and switch his stance to anti-ICE, not because he believes it, but to avoid consequences, which is exactly how almost every dictator rules, which is through fear.
  
  One time, Obama said to some hecklers, ""It’s a lot easier to shout. It’s a lot harder to do the lobby work, and the organizing, and the basic democratic practice of changing the minds of your fellow citizens."" The kid would've had greater success in changing the ICE supporter's stance through debate than violence, but he chose to do the easier thing, which is to punch him and pretend that will do something, instead of going down the more difficult path of debating. 
  
  Second of all, what happened is damaging to the Democratic Party because, especially with the response on social media, it makes it seem as if the left glorifies and almost encourages violence, and with what happened in the video, along with other acts of violence such as Charlie Kirk's assassination or Donald Trump's assassination attempt, it's becoming easier for the Republican Party to frame the Democratic Party as a group of people who can't defend their ideas with logic and facts and therefore have to resort to silencing their opposition through violence. 
  
  Please try and change my view, but please don't argue that the punch barely landed.
  
  Edit: I had to make this edit because everyone is arguing that one kid isn't going to destroy American democracy as we know it, and I want to make it clear that I NEVER said that and DO NOT believe that. I said that it is DAMAGING to American democracy; when you have a tumor, you don't wait till it becomes a big problem before treating it; you treat it when it's small.","[{'e1': 'America ', 'e2': 'the great nation it is today because of the ability for people to speak about their beliefs and against those who abused their power ', 'relation': 'became ', 'condition': 'without getting beat up or killed.'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': ""the Republican Party to frame the Democratic Party as a group of people who can't defend their ideas with logic and facts and therefore have to resort to silencing their opposition through violence"", 'relation': 'is becoming easier for ', 'condition': ' if the left glorifies and almost encourages violence'}]"
7,P0008,1r90pc7,"Lucy Letby is a British nurse who was found guilty of murdering seven babies and attempting to murder seven more, and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
  
  I know this may sound conspiratorial off the bat, but the contingent of people expressing serious doubts about the evidence upon which she was convicted is not just a bunch of crazies who think we haven’t been to the moon or that Tupac is still alive; they include the health secretary at the time of the deaths, many serious journalists, members of parliament, and a huge number of experts in relevant fields who have taken a risk and reached out- for no personal gain and for no money- from all across the world to Letby’s legal team and/or the media to express their concerns about the evidence used to convict Letby, and how it was interpreted in court.
  
  There was absolutely no physical or forensic evidence whatsoever. There are no witnesses- no one saw Letby do anything untoward. There is no motive. 
  
  The prosecution relied heavily on the interpretation of their expert witness, Dr Dewi Evans, of a paper co-written by Neonatologist Dr. Shoo Lee in 1989 called Pulmonary Vascular Air Embolism in the Newborn. Dr. Shoo Lee, after reading about this case and seeing how his paper had been brought up, publicly stated that this had been a gross misinterpretation of his work. The jury could not have known this. Dr. Lee later assembled a panel of fourteen leading, internationally renowned experts in neonatology to look into the case, and in every single one of the seventeen cases of babies Letby was accused of harming, they found no evidence whatsoever of deliberate harm. On the contrary, they found other very plausible causes for every one of the deaths, and identified many systemic problems with the level of care at the hospital. 
  
  This means that not only has it not been proven that Letby committed murder, there is now enormous doubt that any murders occurred at all, making the entire case against Letby entirely hypothetical. 
  
  Here’s a one-minute clip from that panel: https://youtu.be/KA2AIL-JBkM?si=jl724OxzvZQyDXVB
  
  And here’s the two-hour version: https://www.youtube.com/live/N0nmoGes3IU?si=LuT-70REQu9l\_47b
  
  The other key piece of evidence for the prosecution was their statistical analysis of the shift rota data from key card swipes that apparently showed that Letby was the only person present when every one of twenty-five ‘suspicious events’ took place. This rota was a huge driving factor in her being accused in the first place, and clearly made her seem guilty to the public- and therefore almost certainly the jury- before any other evidence was examined. However, it has been widely trashed as massively fallacious by statisticians for many reasons, including but not limited to: the jury never being told about six other deaths that occurred on the ward when Letby was not there during the same period, no definition being given for what constitutes a ‘suspicious event’, (according to every single neonatologist who has looked at the medical notes of the alleged victims, none of those deaths are ‘suspicious’ anyway), the fact that there was a back door with a code which one could use to gain access to the ward without a card, door swipe evidence being incorrect, the times where doctors- not just the nurses- were on shift not being on the chart, Letby working many more hours than the vast majority of other nurses on the ward, and so on.
  
  This is very reminiscent of the case of Sally Clarke, who was wrongly convicted of killing her two sons in 1999 when a paediatrician who didn’t understand statistics testified that there was a 1 in 73 million chance of both sons falling victim to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The Royal Statistical Society later said there was no statistical basis for this claim. Sally Clarke served more than three years before being released, was a ‘target for other prisoners’, and obviously was completely psychiatrically destroyed by the whole ordeal, drinking herself to death a few years later.
  
  Here’s a clip of Professor of Statistics Peter Green briefly expressing concerns about the rota: https://youtu.be/jiuNCzSLtGw?si=nATW6wtYPQdEbSEh
  
  And a longer clip of Medical Statistician Jane Hutton speaking about the misuse of data and statistics in the case: https://youtu.be/IwELT-O0org?si=a4JuNjPtgbFfY5xT
  
  An economist article about how terrible the statistical evidence is: https://www.economist.com/britain/2024/08/22/the-trial-of-lucy-letby-has-shocked-british-statisticians
  
  All of the evidence is circumstantial. Many of the much more minor bits and bobs of evidence that seemed to have been impactful in the trial have since been undermined, and key witnesses have been found to have contradicted themselves.
  
  For example, during the trial, the prosecution asked Letby what she was wearing when she arrested and she said ‘my night dress’. They pointed out that in the footage that we’ve all seen, she was clearly wearing a blue tracksuit. This was zeroed in on by the prosecution as proof that she had just lied, and from the Jury’s perspective, she had. The prosecution clearly got a lot of mileage out of this throughout the rest of the trial. However, this was her third arrest, and the recent Netflix documentary showed previously unseen footage of her first arrest, where she is wearing a night dress. Having someone wrongly appear to be caught out as a ‘liar’ in court clearly has the potential to affect how a jury sees that person, making them trust them much less, and makes confirmation biases against the defendant going forward more likely. 
  
  Her ‘I did this, I am evil’ notes that were seen as a confession and clearly impacted the trial were written as part of an exercise given to her by a mental health professional to write down ‘how she had been made to feel about herself’ as part of her treatment for the severe mental health problems she was unsurprisingly suffering from, well into proceedings being brought against her, and while she was heavily medicated. The note also included phrases similar to ‘I am innocent, why are they doing this to me?’ as well as all sorts of other erratic, stream of consciousness passages that clearly should not be admissible in court, let alone enough to send someone to jail for the rest of their life without the possibility of parole. Professor Gisli Gudjonsson, world renowned expert on the forensic psychology of confessions (who was central in the appeal case of Donald Pendleton, who was wrongly convicted of murder after a false ‘confession’) has said that these notes absolutely should not be considered a confession, and has quit his job at the National Crime Agency to bring attention to the Letby case.
  
  Her courtroom demeanour was also commented on as being cold, distant and emotionless- apparently the jury thought this made her seem guilty. She was suffering from crippling anxiety and depression at the time and heavily medicated. The trial had to be postponed because Letby had had a mental breakdown. Not being incredibly relaxed and charismatic in this scenario is not an implication of guilt.
  
  Some of the deaths Letby was accused of have since been shown to have been due to errors from the very people who accused her. David Davis MP detailed some of these in his speech to the house of commons, which I have linked below.
  
  Dewi Evans, the expert for the prosecution, (retired paediatrician, 0 papers published) has been shown to be an unreliable expert witness. He found zero problems with how the hospital was being run in his investigation, something which later baffled the panel of actual neonatologists who found a deluge of failings of care in each and every case. Here is a short video of him contradicting himself, and then being torn to shreds by Dr. Shoo Lee (over 400 papers published), whose paper he had misused to condemn Letby: https://youtu.be/R0ReDvzSyUM?si=wLCBh6SVpO1zpAfd
  
  Here is a very short video of Dr. Lee’s 3 questions for Dr. Evans: https://youtube.com/shorts/CSeQjaIuuys?si=Rl6sIBNLhAtRiH4C
  
  There’s much more to say than this. Rachel Aviv read the entire transcript of the trial and wrote this fantastic, incredibly well-researched article in The New Yorker detailing the story as we know it from start to finish: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/05/20/lucy-letby-was-found-guilty-of-killing-seven-babies-did-she-do-it
  
  I’m making this post because I am yet to hear any examples of evidence that hasn’t been discredited by a deluge of experts from many different fields or that seems anywhere near strong enough to say that Lucy Letby should even be suspected of murder, let alone guilty beyond reasonable doubt. The evidence that has been discredited by expert consensus is the main evidence that was misinterpreted during the trial to convict her. CMV!","[{'e1': 'The trial ', 'e2': 'postponed ', 'relation': 'had to be ', 'condition': 'because Letby had had a mental breakdown'}]"
8,P0009,1r92tsb,"When the topic of fraternities (or sororities for that matter) comes up, especially online, the vast majority of the reaction seems to be negative. People parrot the same few insults over and over (paying for friends, future date rapists, sheep, etc), and to me that just demonstrates either a fundamental misunderstanding of what goes on in fraternities, or just plain jealousy.
  
  First, the positives of a fraternity:
  
  I went to a school out of state where I didn’t know anybody. It instantly gave me a place where I felt welcomed and at home. It surrounded me with people, provided tons of different types of social events, and made it super easy to make not just friends, but lifelong bonds. They match you with an upperclassman (big brother) that can mentor you. And socially, it provides you with a very diverse set of things to do, there are regular parties, retreats, activities with sororities, fundraisers, formal events, it just makes it much easier to be a part of different types of social activities than it otherwise would be.
  
  Contrary to popular opinion, people in fraternities make better grades, graduate at a higher rate, and make more money after they graduate on average than people not in fraternities. There is a minimum GPA requirement, and our fraternity would match you with an upperclassman with the same major if you were in danger of being dropped for your GPA. And there is a ton of great networking that comes from fraternities, I know many people who got jobs because of networking at fraternity events.
  
  People in fraternities are more active in the community. We had a minimum community service hour requirement every semester. People in fraternities are more likely to come back to school for alumni events, more likely to donate to their school, and just have a stronger tie to the community as a whole.
  
  Second, addressing some negatives:
  
  Paying dues: you don’t “pay for friends”, you pay dues to be a part of an organization. You get things for your money, you’re paying for the house you live in, you’re paying to participate in formal events and retreats, there are things happening all year you can participate in. If the argument is just that not everybody can afford it, therefore it’s bad, that’s a pretty lame argument.
  
  Hazing: there’s no doubt that hazing can go too far and be extremely dangerous if not handled carefully. We had many meetings about the dangers of hazing. But the bottom line is, hazing, when done correctly, works. It bonds you, it preserves traditions, it makes take it seriously, it establishes a chain of respect, and it’s fun. There’s a reason pretty much every organization does some form of it. You just have to be very careful, not involve alchohol, and make it clear you can quit at any time.
  
  Rape culture: it is also true that students in fraternities are more likely to commit sexual assault while in school than students who aren’t. That’s certainly a big problem, and speaks to rape culture on college campuses as a whole. In my opinion, it’s almost entirely due to the types of people who are prone to that being attracted to fraternities for the wrong reasons. Fraternities, when behaving as they should, should be a group of men that holds each other accountable and doesn’t allow that type of behavior. We kicked a brother out for being disrespectful to women. At its core, a fraternity is supposed to be creating gentlemen, and when it’s behaving as it should, it discourages that type of behavior and holds them accountable. Without fraternities, those types of men still exist, but now there is just less ways to remedy that type of behavior or hold them socially accountable.
  
  As a whole, I think fraternities are an overwhelmingly positive thing. It gives young men a community at a time they really need it, it gives men a space to be themselves, and surrounds them with like minded people. It encourages them to get involved and succeed. And it builds lifetimes bonds. In a world that’s making it harder and harder for men to find community and support, it provides an excellent place for young men to find those things. As I said, most of the hate they receive either boils down to misunderstanding or jealousy.","[{'e1': ' the vast majority of the reaction ', 'e2': 'negative', 'relation': 'seems to be ', 'condition': 'When the topic of fraternities (or sororities for that matter) comes up, especially online'}, {'e1': 'our fraternity ', 'e2': 'an upperclassman with the same major ', 'relation': 'would match you with ', 'condition': 'if you were in danger of being dropped for your GPA.'}, {'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'a pretty lame argument.', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': ' If the argument is just that not everybody can afford it, therefore it’s bad'}, {'e1': ' hazing ', 'e2': 'too far and be extremely dangerous', 'relation': 'can go ', 'condition': ' if not handled carefully'}, {'e1': ' hazing', 'e2': 'you', 'relation': ' bonds ', 'condition': ' when done correctly'}, {'e1': ' hazing', 'e2': 'traditions', 'relation': 'preserves ', 'condition': ' when done correctly'}, {'e1': ' hazing', 'e2': 'seriously ', 'relation': ' makes take it ', 'condition': ' when done correctly'}, {'e1': ' hazing', 'e2': 'a chain of respect ', 'relation': 'establishes ', 'condition': ' when done correctly'}, {'e1': ' hazing', 'e2': 'fun', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': ' when done correctly'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': ' an excellent place for young men to find those things', 'relation': 'provides', 'condition': 'In a world that’s making it harder and harder for men to find community and support'}]"
9,P0010,1r96od4,"Ill be honest, this view is very anecdotal. I did not research anything or find any stats before writing this post
  
  When I was in high school I was good looking, over 6', and had a pretty muscular body, but I was awkward af and never had a relationship. I had girls tell me I was good looking, but whenever I tried flirting with any of them, I got the cold shoulder.
  
  Meanwhile, there were chubbier/shorter/uglier men who hung out with all the popular girls and even dated some of them. They had much more confidence than me and it showed in their social circle. They simply had more friends than me.
  
  In college, I came out of my shell because cliques hadnt formed among freshmen yet and I was able to make lots of new friends. My confidence exploded. I stopped competing in sports and mostly stopped working out. I drank a lot of beer and I lost a lot of muscular definition. But because I was more confident in my social skills, I finally started talking to more and more girls and even had a couple relationships and classic casual college hookups. 
  
  When I hear incels complain about 'chads', it bothers me. I feel like I would've counted as their classification of a 'chad' in high school despite the fact I can relate to their struggle. I have to wonder how many other objectively attractive males have also felt this and still dont get recognized by incels as someone who struggles to get a partner.
  
  In my eyes, confidence has always been key for males. In highschool, it didnt matter that I was good looking and athletic, I was nervous when talking to girls and they smell that shit a mile away and it repulses them. 
  
  So whenever I hear incels say ""I cant get laid cause Im ugly"" I wanna tell them ""You cant get laid cause youre not confident in who you are"". 
  
  And yes, maybe its easier to be confident in yourself when youre physically attractive, but confidence is a very relative thing. I was not confident in high school at my physical peak. I became confident as I aged and experienced new things even though I became less athletic.
  
  So anyways, I believe that incels are turning a blind eye to attractive males who share their problems because it doesn't fit their identity. CMV.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ""good looking, over 6', and had a pretty muscular body"", 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': 'When I was in high school'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'my shell ', 'relation': 'came out of ', 'condition': 'In college'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'my shell ', 'relation': 'came out of ', 'condition': 'because cliques hadnt formed among freshmen yet and I was able to make lots of new friends.'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'bothers ', 'condition': ""When I hear incels complain about 'chads'""}, {'e1': 'confidence', 'e2': 'males', 'relation': ' has always been key for ', 'condition': 'In my eyes'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'I was good looking and athletic', 'relation': 'didnt matter that ', 'condition': 'In highschool'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' girls ', 'relation': 'was nervous when talking to', 'condition': 'In highschool'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'laid ', 'relation': 'cant get ', 'condition': 'cause Im ugly'}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'laid ', 'relation': 'cant get ', 'condition': 'cause youre not confident in who you are'}]"
10,P0011,1r97qzf,"I have read a lot of political theory and models, there's always issues, is normal, nothing is perfect, but I think I kind of figured out what makes all of them fail into making a good place to live, human nature and power.
  
  
  
  Whenever there is a hierarchy there will be abuse of power, like the prisoners and guards experiment.
  
  
  
  So socialism can't work because of the members of the government become dictators thanks to the power and have power over the production and the military because its supposed to be as equal as possible.
  
  
  
  Capitalism can't work either because it search to be as profitable as possible, thing that a lot of the times ends in laboral abuse, monopoly, low quality products with high cost.
  
  
  
  Democracy don't work because there's a lot of people and it's almost impossible to do the classic Greek democracy in a country.
  
  
  
  Libertarianism will end in abuse because there's no law, and then they can do whatever they want like the Western India Company or Feudalism.
  
  
  Representative republic don't work because companies, other countries, and millioners can manipulate elections and finance candidates and thus inequality.
  
  
  And the other we already know don't work (Monarchy, Fascism, Communism, Religious state).
  
  
  
  And in the model we live today millions in Africa, south east asia and middle east have to suffer in order to the governments and companies to have low prices on products and justify aggressions.
  
  
  
  But every single one in theory work, if you read them there's a possibility in each one, even monarchy (For example the princeps of Maquiavelo) but when you put human corruption and emotions they always fail to make the world better.","[{'e1': 'there ', 'e2': 'abuse of power', 'relation': 'will be ', 'condition': 'Whenever there is a hierarchy '}, {'e1': 'there ', 'e2': 'a possibility in each one', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'if you read them '}]"
11,P0012,1r9j9rb,"I’m fully prepared to get flamed for this again, but I genuinely want someone to change my view.
  
  I think Overwatch 2 would benefit from a universal, public-facing point system. Something similar to Battlefield, where basically everything you do contributes to a running score that reflects overall impact.
  
  Right now the shared scoreboard only shows eliminations, assists, deaths, damage, healing, and mitigated damage. And yeah, in a lot of cases doing well translates into solid numbers there. But not always.
  
  Escort and push maps are the clearest example. Sometimes you’re the one physically on the objective while your team is pushed up taking fights. You’re doing the boring but necessary work. Meanwhile the DPS up ahead is farming eliminations and damage. On paper, they look like they’re carrying. In reality, the cart doesn’t move without someone committing to it.
  
  Same with certain heroes. Bastion or Moira can pump huge raw numbers. That doesn’t automatically mean they’re contributing more than someone making smart space plays, peeling, contesting, or canceling key ultimates. A clutch sleep dart or a well-timed immortality field that saves a team fight doesn’t really show up properly on the main scoreboard. Neither does contest time or zoning pressure.
  
  My idea is simple: a universal point system where most meaningful actions contribute to one overall score. For example:
  
  • 1 damage, healing, or mitigated damage = 1 point
  
  • Elimination = 100 points
  
  • Objective time, like pushing or capturing = 50 points per second
  
  • Contesting or defending a point = 50 points per second
  
  • Canceling an ultimate or major ability = 500 to 1000 points
  
  I’m not saying those exact values are perfect. Just that everything should funnel into a single number that reflects total impact.
  
  I think this could actually reduce toxicity, not increase it. Right now people laser-focus on eliminations and damage. If a DPS has fewer kills, they’re instantly labeled as throwing. But what if that same player has the highest overall score because they’re constantly on the objective, denying ults, and contributing in ways that aren’t flashy?
  
  We do technically have hero-specific stats, like Mercy’s damage boost, but those aren’t public-facing in a meaningful way during the match. Most players don’t check the detailed stat screens. They look at the main board, make a snap judgment, and start typing.
  
  Whenever I bring this up in the overwatch subreddit, people usually say it’s unnecessary or that there are already too many stats in the game. They get really upset by this suggestion. It honestly confuses me. A single universal score would actually help add more context between characters abilities.
  
  CMV. Why is this a bad idea? What am I missing?","[{'e1': ' the cart ', 'e2': 'someone committing to it.', 'relation': 'doesn’t move without ', 'condition': 'In reality'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': ' throwing', 'relation': 'are instantly labeled as', 'condition': ' If a DPS has fewer kills'}]"
12,P0013,1r9swza,"CMV: Our recent history is dominated by the War On Terror. If we had left Afghanistan in the Soviet Bloc and not funded the Mujehadeen, the War On Terror likely would not have happened. It's quite possible the USSR might have survived, a known quantity compared to a man like Putin.
  
  If we had let Saddam dominate the Middle East militarily, we would have only had one fascist dictator to deal with, and not a multitude of crazed religious fanatics. Evil - yes, but rational. The Iranian regime is NOT rational. ISIS are NOT rational. HAMAS are definitely not rational - they tried to start a war of annihilation against an enemy that had them completely outgunned, only insane people do that.
  
  The Iraqi blogger Riverbend put it quite well: ""Before we had one Saddam, now we have lots of little Saddams"" (I paraphrase). The biggest mistake the West ever made was when we made it our job to tell the world how to organize it's affairs. Now we're stuck with that shit, AND we have to defend ourselves from the likes of Putin. AND our people have been completely brainwashed by terrorist propaganda - because the bastards have a point. We shouldn't have messed with them in the first place. We should have let them blow each other to hell if that's what they wanted to do.","[{'e1': 'the War On Terror ', 'e2': 'happened', 'relation': 'would not have ', 'condition': 'If we had left Afghanistan in the Soviet Bloc and not funded the Mujehadeen'}, {'e1': 'we ', 'e2': ' one fascist dictator to deal with', 'relation': 'would have only had', 'condition': 'If we had let Saddam dominate the Middle East militarily'}]"
13,P0014,1rayyjp,"Reason 1: it’s going to occur anyway but at least you can prevent human trafficking by making it legal In certain settings (such as regulated businesses) you make it harder for human sex trafficking profitable and decrease it.
  
  Reason 2: some people weather they have social anxiety, are not attractive enough or self esteem issues and have found it difficult to have a relationship with another person still has needs and desires. This would help people like that with their mental health/ their confidence and their biological needs
  
  Reason 3: on the flip side someone may only have those urges and needs but doesn’t want a relationship. This way they can have those needs met without hurting another person who is not looking for just that and believes they are in a relationship
  
  Reason 4: by regulating it and requiring workers to undergo regular testing you help prevent the spread of diseases. By not regulating it then there is significantly less testing for it and overall less protection.
  
  Reason 5: it is a victimless crime (if regulated and consented too). Two consenting adults should be free to do what they choose to do as long as it does not effect anyone else outside of the agreement
  
  Reason 6: tax revenue can be used to pay for any array of programs that the state needs to fund.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'human trafficking ', 'relation': 'can prevent ', 'condition': 'by making it legal In certain settings'}, {'e1': ' there ', 'e2': 'significantly less testing for it and overall less protection', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'By not regulating it'}, {'e1': 'two consenting adults ', 'e2': 'they choose to do as long ', 'relation': 'should be free to do what ', 'condition': 'as it does not effect anyone else outside of the agreement'}]"
14,P0015,1rb2461,"Something that often gets brought up online is that Europe or China or ""someone"" can replace America due to their economic or cultural power. I disagree. Fundamentally the only way to be a super power is to have a global military, specifically a global navy.
  
  *The Influence of Sea Power on History* by Alfred Thayer Mahan is one of the foundational books on naval thought and geopolitical theory for a reason. the world runs on boats, that hasn't changed in the last 200 years. if you have boats you can act without being acted upon
  
  this has been true across history. in the 1820s, the Qing Dynasty had a full 30% of the global GDP. yet during the opium wars they were systematicly destoryed by the european powers. specifically because they did not have a modern navy. The British could exert influence on china without china exerting influence on them.
  
  Naval power is the fundimental core of modern American Power to. america can roll up anywhere in the world and kick down any door it wants with no consequences because it has a navy capable of power projection. Thats what anyone who wants to be a global power needs, not cultural power, not foreign investments. a battle fleet.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'acted upon', 'relation': 'can act without being ', 'condition': 'if you have boats'}, {'e1': ' the Qing Dynasty ', 'e2': 'a full 30% of the global GDP', 'relation': 'had ', 'condition': 'in the 1820s'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the european powers', 'relation': 'were systematicly destoryed by ', 'condition': 'during the opium wars '}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the european powers', 'relation': 'were systematicly destoryed by ', 'condition': 'because they did not have a modern navy'}]"
15,P0016,1rb2okl,"When you're at the beach, you build a sand castle. When you live in a desert, you build a monumentally large sand castle. The ancient Egyptians whom lived in a desert, essentially did nothing more than build a monumentally large sand castle funded by taxpayer money, which we know today as the Pyramids. It isn't revolutionary when you think of it that way. They invented paper, but so did China. 
  
  
  Mesopotamia created the first written system of law that we know of, and were the inventors of the wheel. Mesopotamia invented the first codified language that we know of, which was possibly passed on and helped create ancient Egypt's hieroglyphics. Ancient Greece made advancements in sciences, as did the ancient Romans. The list goes on. 
  
  
  Ancient Egypt did nothing more than just exist for an \[insert adjective\] long long long time. I don't knock them for existing. I just question why we learn about their civilization in elementary school verse the others. I think ancient Egypt is overrated. I think they didn't contribute significantly to any advancements in any field, really.","[{'e1': ' you', 'e2': 'a sand castle', 'relation': ' build ', 'condition': ""When you're at the beach""}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'a monumentally large sand castle', 'relation': 'build ', 'condition': 'When you live in a desert'}]"
16,P0017,1rb4umr,"I am not sure what I would describe Trump as (no not fascist don't be dramatic), but as someone who considers themselves center right, I've never really gotten the impression that Trump and I were on the same page. Obviously I am in favor of deporting illegal immigrants, but I actually agreed more with Obamas way of doing that than Trumps.
  
  Conservatives push for small governments with as little involvement in day to day processes as possible. Trump is the antithesis to that. The tariffs are just a way to drum up more government spending money at the expense of the consumer, which is not a conservative approach at all. Sure there is military spending which is good, but a lot of his policies seem to push for more government involvement not less.
  
  So I am curious what anybody has to say about this topic regardless of your political leaning.
  
  
  Edit: Hey just want to say thank you to all of the responses here. The vast majority of you guys were very respectful and very informative which I appreciate. I would like to mention that the reason I don't think Trump is fascist is because fascism is an incredibly specific definition of a specific type of social system that penetrates deep into every aspect of a culture. I think it is an exaggeration to say that Trump is a fascist, but I can see an argument for him consolidating power and trending towards authoritarianism.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'the impression that Trump and I were on the same page', 'relation': 'have never really gotten ', 'condition': 'as someone who considers themselves center right'}]"
17,P0018,1rbprh9,"Basically the title.
  
  They already skirted around the bribery case because of a legal loophole. But if it is deemed that they are part of a corruption scandal then they should have every title won in that era taken away. La Liga, CdR and Champions League.
  
  They should also strip away every individual title won by their players.
  
  Every team had to field their strongest line ups without the guarantee that they are getting favourable results. They will have to pour every ounce of their effort to scrape wins whilst Barcelona could coast to victories with no worries.
  
  There should be no doubt that Barcelona’s golden era coincidentally happened at the exact same time as this scandal.
  
  It would be a shame because the Spanish League would die if any sanctions were to take place against the club but it must happen. Anyone who is not biased should be able to see that these shady deals would and did have implications in title runs.","[{'e1': 'they', 'e2': 'every title won in that era taken away. La Liga, CdR and Champions League.', 'relation': ' should have ', 'condition': ' if it is deemed that they are part of a corruption scandal '}, {'e1': 'the Spanish League', 'e2': 'die ', 'relation': ' would ', 'condition': 'if any sanctions were to take place against the club'}]"
18,P0019,1rbpwn4,"This is absolutely a conspiracy theory so feel free to pull this claim apart.
  
  Bernard Looney became CEO of BP in 2020 and 'shocked' investors with an announcement that the famed oil giant would go net zero by 2050, phasing out its emissions and rapidly accelerating its move to renewable energy. As is pointed out by coverage at the time there was immediate concern this would hurt short term profits.
  
  By 2023, after navigating COVID, he was forced to resign. Almost all news coverage led with allegations of 'serious misconduct' in past relations at the company. It was, I believe, a deliberate PR campaign designed to be reminiscent of the #metoo movement. 
  
  But if you scratch even a little below the surface the only actual allegation is he ""did not provide details of all relationships and accepts he was obligated to make more complete disclosure”.
  
  As the Guardian pointed out ""We don’t know anything about the nature of Looney’s relationships"". ""But, there is nothing to suggest that any of the relationships were inappropriate or not consensual."" As someone who had been with the business his entire career since university, it doesn't seem unreasonable he would have had some consensual relationships with colleagues. The allegation is not even that he was superior to them, with all of these taking place before he was CEO.
  
  It sounds like a technicality that was found, and purposely packaged as being worse than it actually was, so that even left leaning papers would not question the ousting of a 'green friendly' business leader.
  
  Even more telling, within four months BP had a new CEO that was seen as a preference to the hedge funds that own a large share of the company. The immediately changed strategy including (according to Reuters):
  
  ""Cutting planned investment in renewable energy by over $5 billion annually and increased oil & gas spending."" ""Scaling back emissions reduction goals and scrapped some transition targets Looney had put in place."" And announced ""job cuts"" in the renewables side of the business.
  
  My view is that this was a deliberate and Machiavellian campaign, knowingly preying on the legacy of the 'me too' movement, and using this to deflect any questions around them doubling down on fossil fuels all in pursuit of short term profits for their hedge fund and PE shareholders. And the fact this change in energy strategy had so little coverage is proof it worked. CMV.","[{'e1': ' he ', 'e2': 'resign', 'relation': 'was forced to ', 'condition': 'By 2023'}, {'e1': ' he ', 'e2': 'resign', 'relation': 'was forced to ', 'condition': ' after navigating COVID'}, {'e1': ' the only actual allegation ', 'e2': 'he ""did not provide details of all relationships and accepts he was obligated to make more complete disclosure”.', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'if you scratch even a little below the surface'}]"
19,P0020,1rbu4mx,"First, I will clarify that I don't think it's right for AI companies to pirate content. BUT I think the crime is in the copyright infringement when they pirated it, not that they train on the content and use it to build models to generate content. Any content they obtained legally by buying the book/movie, etc, should be fair game.
  
  The reason for this is that humans do the exact same thing. If I am going to write a horror book, I will read a bunch of horror books and figure out what I like. I will combine that with a lifetime of other materials that I have consumed to form my likes and dislikes, personal writing style, knowledge about the world, ideas for creative topics that haven't been covered, etc. Then maybe I'll decide I really like Stephen King's style so I'll write a book that reminds me of his style.
  
  We consider this to be perfectly acceptable, and is basically how all content is generated by humans.
  
  However, when AI companies follow the exact same process and use copywritten material to train models and then have those models generate new content, all of the sudden people are mad about it. When we train models on content and then generate new content, we're literally doing the same thing that humans do. The only difference is in the scale. Models train on more data and can generate content faster. But that shouldn't affect the morality of the situation. There's not some point at which if I write too many books based on other books I've liked then I'm somehow hurting the authors whose books I have read. It seems arbitrary to say that what AI companies are doing is wrong but when humans do it on a smaller scale it's perfectly acceptable.
  
  Really it just seems like people are mad about AI and worried it is going to make humans redundant, and they are clinging to the idea that AI companies are evil and everything they do to train their models is unethical as a defense mechanism, but I don't think it is morally consistent.","[{'e1': ' I', 'e2': 'a bunch of horror books and figure out what I like.', 'relation': ' will read ', 'condition': 'If I am going to write a horror book'}, {'e1': ' we', 'e2': 'the same thing that humans do', 'relation': ' are literally doing ', 'condition': ' When we train models on content and then generate new content'}]"
20,P0021,1rbuk2s,"There are many debates on whether you would save your pet or a human stranger from a burning building. People argue that you should save the stranger since humans are more valuable than animals. I disagree. Even if you think humans have more value than animals in the abstract.
  
  When you adopt a pet, you aren't just acquiring an animal; you are taking a creature into your home and assuming a role akin to a parent or guardian.
  
  Total Cependence: They rely on you entirely for food, shelter, safety, and affection. 
  
  Daily Bond: You build a deep, daily relationship with them over years. They are, for all intents and purposes, a member of your family.
  
  It is human nature to prioritize the lives of our family members over the lives of people we don't know. If we accept that pets are family, the emotional math naturally follows.
  
  2. The ""Uknown"" Nature of a Stranger
  
  A random human stranger is exactly that. An unknown entity.
  
  No Established Connection: You have no emotional bond with them, no shared history, and no mutual trust. 
  
  Unpredictability: While society assumes a baseline of goodness in people, a stranger could be anyone. They might be a wonderful, charitable person, or they could be someone who would happily harm you. They certainly aren't someone who brings you daily joy or relies on you for survival the way your pet does.
  
  Many claim that blood is thicker than water. And for pet owners, their pets are their metaphorical blood or immediate family members.","[{'e1': ' the emotional math ', 'e2': 'follows', 'relation': 'naturally ', 'condition': ' If we accept that pets are family'}]"
21,P0022,1rbzzwz,"Artificial Intelligence is going to substantially change quite a few industries for better or worse but there's one thing that it's already on the way to killing entirely, and that's social media. The fact that I see mods already asking users to DM them to verify that they are real people is just one sign, the constant ""is this AI?"" questions on video based platforms like TikTok and Instagram is another. 
  
  **When you can't tell if you're conversing with actual people, why would you bother with the interaction?** I really don't see a solution here and I'm actually kind of okay with it as well. If an unintended consequence of the AI age is that we all value face to face interactions more then that's at least one silver lining. The solution to this issue is a bit of a worry and it's somewhat problematic - how do you prove you're not an AI when online? Am I meant to send through my digital ID, maybe a photo of me and a piece of paper saying I'm real? All of these present some sort of privacy issue at best and well an AI can generate those pieces of content pretty convincingly as well. 
  
  The real irony is that Twitter/X and Facebook/Instagram survive on advertising revenue yet they're at the forefront of AI investment. Both platforms already have a bot problem and advertisers have already started leaving. It's not long till all platforms are just meaningless bots arguing against bots with other bots creating AI content. It is a huge waste of resource with real world climate, energy and water usage impacts. It won't be too long after it all gets out of control that the powers that be decide to just shut it down entirely.","[{'e1': ' that', 'e2': 'one silver lining', 'relation': ' is at least ', 'condition': 'If an unintended consequence of the AI age is that we all value face to face interactions more then'}]"
22,P0023,1rc07wg,"If someone wants to end their life, that should be their own choice. A doctor should first refer them to psychological resources as an attempt to help them. However, if the desire is still present in the patient, the doctor should be able to do the humane thing and help this person out of their misery.
  
  People are going to kill themselves anyway. There are many cases of failed suicide attempts annually that either hurt others, or permanently damage the attempter's body/mind. Why not allow doctors to help do this in a humane way?
  
  We put down our pets when we know their lives aren't going to be fulfilling anymore, why not allow humans to make that decision for themselves and get help in the process?","[{'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'their own choice.', 'relation': 'should be ', 'condition': 'If someone wants to end their life'}, {'e1': ' the doctor', 'e2': 'the humane thing and help this person out of their misery.', 'relation': ' should be able to do ', 'condition': ' if the desire is still present in the patient'}]"
23,P0024,1rc464d,"Autosomal DNA studies, including large-scale clustering analyses consistently show that the among white Americans, English/Welsh ancestry matches up way more often to reference populations than Irish ancestry.
  
  When family history shows they came on a boat from Ireland, there's a good chance they were English, Welsh, Scottish, or ""Ulster Scots"". Ulster Scots were essentially protestant settlers from Scotland who lived in Ireland, and emigrated to the USA after. English/Welsh were the most common.
  
  Most white Americans claim to be English (48m), followed closely by German (45m), followed by Irish (38.6m). 16.8m *claimed* to have Italian ancestry. Again, this is *claimed,* meaning it is self reported data. Being British is less popular than being Irish, so even the census data for self reported ancestry will overestimate Irish and underestimate English/Welsh. And yet this is the closest we get to the true numbers.
  
  Still, you rarely hear Americans claiming to be English to others. With all the flaws to self reported data, English still show up as the most common. Annoyingly, studies asking someones Ancestry rarely see ""English"", or even ""Welsh""/""British"" as an answer, for that matter.
  
  Many Americans claim Irish ancestry, but the reality is that this is just not true in many cases. If an American has an Irish grandparent, but 3 English grandparents, they are likely to claim Irish ancestry. This is found to be true in many psychological studies into American's preferred ancestry. There's research showing Americans upgrade their ancestry to the most appealing option. Irish > Scottish > English, because they have better vibes, regardless of which one is most accurate.
  
  It's very difficult to differentiate between English and Irish and genealogy studies rarely do this. Sometimes due to the lack of funding to find unique genes, and sometimes for political/personal reasons.
  
  The great famine in the 19th century sent roughly 1 million Irish emigrants to the US, which sounds like a lot, but by that time the US white population was already around 21million (Primarily English). Even accounting for compounding descendants, the Irish contribution does exist and Irish-Americans are real, but their numbers were always going to be outpaced by the English/Welsh colonial era settlers. They were giving birth to 6+ kids on American soil for hundreds of years before the famine even began. This demographic head start for the English is enormous, but is sadly rarely discussed.
  
  The answer? Irish-American identity became extremely culturally powerful after the civil war in the USA. It's not real, though. They're just English, German, and Welsh descendents (primarily) wearing a ""St. Patty's"" hat.
  
  \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
  
  So, for fun, lets look at hair colour (I know, it's recessive, but you'd still expect to see more, this is *just for fun,* not for my argument. But only because I can't prove it):
  
  \- In Ireland: \~13% of the population has red hair. They have the highest concentration on Earth. 
  \- Scotland: \~10% (another massive concentration) 
  \- England: \~4 to 6% 
  \- Germany has just 2-4% 
  \- As for the USA? 2-3%
  
  
  
  Edit: I posted this late so Americans would respond, and you didn't disappoint. Thanks for the fun, guys. It's late for me, over here in your ancestral homeland, so I have to get to sleep. I'll maybe respond to more tomorrow if this is still going, hopefully someone can make a point that changes my view.","[{'e1': 'they ', 'e2': ' Irish ancestry', 'relation': 'are likely to claim', 'condition': ' If an American has an Irish grandparent, but 3 English grandparents'}]"
24,P0025,1rc5wrd,"I think Trump firing the person associated with reporting or communicating “weak jobs” numbers (or the “weak jobs reports” narrative) looks primarily political rather than performance-based. From my perspective, it sends the message that if government data makes leadership look bad, the messenger gets punished. That worries me because jobs data is one of the most important public indicators we have, and it only works if people believe it’s collected and reported consistently, regardless of who is in office.
  
  The reason I hold this view is that economic reports are often revised and can look “bad” or “good” depending on timing, methodology, and broader economic conditions. So when someone is fired right after unfavorable headlines, it feels less like accountability for misconduct and more like shaping the narrative and intimidating future reporting. Even if the firing is technically justified, the optics and incentives it creates still seem harmful.
  
  What would change my view: I’d be persuaded if there’s clear evidence that the person was fired for specific, documentable misconduct or incompetence (e.g., falsifying data, breaking procedures, repeated verified errors, ethical violations), and that the decision followed an established nonpartisan process rather than a reaction to the headlines. I’m also open to evidence that this kind of personnel change is normal and comparable across administrations without damaging the integrity of the data.
  
  CMV.","[{'e1': ' the messenger ', 'e2': ' punished', 'relation': 'gets', 'condition': 'if government data makes leadership look bad'}, {'e1': ' it', 'e2': 'works ', 'relation': ' only ', 'condition': 'if people believe it’s collected and reported consistently, regardless of who is in office.'}, {'e1': ' the optics and incentives it creates', 'e2': 'harmful.', 'relation': ' still seem ', 'condition': 'Even if the firing is technically justified'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'persuaded ', 'relation': ' would be ', 'condition': 'if there’s clear evidence that the person was fired for specific, documentable misconduct or incompetence'}]"
25,P0026,1rcdbd2,"The Hamburgler steals hamburgers, which are a perishable, meaning they get bad over time.
  
  He presumably does this to make money. His job is as a burglar, and he only steals hamburgers.
  
  This makes no sense. 
  
  If he tried to pawn an old hamburger, he'd not find a buyer. Who would buy a moldy burger?
  
  So he has a truck of moldy burgers to sell and no buyers.
  
  Given that he spends money on his work (buying striped suit etc), he is presumably making a loss.
  
  The Hamburgler is a terrible thief.
  
  Tl;Dr The Hamburgler steals hamburgers, a perishable object, presumably to sell them at a loss.","[{'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'a buyer', 'relation': 'would not find ', 'condition': 'If he tried to pawn an old hamburger'}]"
26,P0027,1rcjoej,"I’m not talking from a legal perspective. I’m not a lawyer. I also don’t know what it’s like living in a country that doesn’t have freedom of speech as an engrained liberty. I could be hyperbolic and say that “we’re losing our freedom of speech here!” in my country, but not only do I not believe that to be the case in my country, but I also, to reiterate, am not saying what I’m saying from a legal perspective.
  
  When you’re in a conversation with any amount of regular, non-government-agent human beings, and one of those people points out inaccuracies in what you’re saying, disagrees with you, lets you know that you’re mistaken, or otherwise engages with you in such a way that makes it clear that their goal is to let you know they see differently from you about what you said, this is not a violation of your ability to speak.
  
  You have the ability to walk away or continue the conversation, but if you think a good response is “I’m not allowed to say anything anymore,” yes you are. Nobody can ever stop you from saying anything.
  
  If murderbots roamed the streets and constantly blared “no talking,” you still have the ability to talk. The only thing that can stop you from talking is some sort of surgery or injury that actually deducts from your body the means to communicate.
  
  And I’m not trying to be ultra literal here. I know when most people say “you can’t say anything anymore,” they’re just frustrated and they don’t think someone is actually trying to stop them biologically from communicating. But I do think that there’s some part of them somewhere inside of them that thinks that being told they can’t do something actually makes it the case.
  
  If I go to a bar and I’m talking with some friends, and someone around me who I don’t know tells me to shut up, I don’t have to do so. That person has done nothing to prevent me from speaking. That person just doesn’t want me to speak. I can still do so. There’s a bit more pressure on me to maybe be quiet as opposed to speaking, but that pressure isn’t a requirement. If I choose not to speak due to that person, that person didn’t make me stop speaking. I chose to stop speaking. I did to myself what I pictured that person wanted to make me do, but that didn’t.
  
  I’m using this example because if telling someone to be quiet isn’t actually an obligation to be quiet, then disagreeing with someone and expressing that isn’t either. And this isn’t a “freedom of speech, not freedom from consequences” thing, either. It’s very simple: nobody can take away your ability to speak but you, and people using physical force. That’s it. Nothing else.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'the ability to talk', 'relation': 'still have ', 'condition': 'If murderbots roamed the streets and constantly blared “no talking,”'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'so', 'relation': 'don’t have to do ', 'condition': 'If I go to a bar and I’m talking with some friends, and someone around me who I don’t know tells me to shut up'}, {'e1': 'that person ', 'e2': 'me stop speaking.', 'relation': 'didn’t make ', 'condition': 'If I choose not to speak due to that person'}]"
27,P0028,1rcjzqd,"Use whatever coping mechanism you need. Say the AI bubble is going to burst (it won’t). Say it’s hitting a wall (it isn’t). Tell yourself regulation will slow it down, or that “real engineering” is untouchable. Believe whatever helps you sleep at night. 
  
  
  AI will replace all. Not just the juniors. Not just the repetitive work. All of it. 
  
  
  Every layer of software development is pattern-based at scale. Architecture is pattern composition. System design is constraint optimization. Debugging is anomaly detection. Even “creativity” in code is structured problem-solving inside defined boundaries. Those are exactly the kinds of domains machine intelligence keeps absorbing. 
  
  
  The idea that some sacred layer of software engineering will remain permanently human is comfort, not analysis. Models already write full features, refactor large codebases, design APIs, generate tests, and reason about performance trade-offs. The trajectory is obvious: better reasoning, larger context windows, tighter integration with tooling, autonomous iteration. 
  
  
  When AI can understand requirements, generate architecture, implement it, test it, deploy it, monitor it, and fix it faster than any team, there is no role left to defend. 
  
  
  It won’t be gradual forever. It will feel slow, then sudden. And when it happens, there won’t be a “safe tier” of developer left standing.","[{'e1': ' there ', 'e2': 'no role left to defend. ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'When AI can understand requirements, generate architecture, implement it, test it, deploy it, monitor it, and fix it faster than any team'}]"
28,P0029,1rcllj7,"Hungary has been consistently sabotaging the EU efforts against Russia. No offence for Hungarian citizens, but the EU is having a hard time projecting a unified stance even without Hungary. I don’t know what to think anymore, is Hungary a Russian asset? Why does the EU keep showing weakness? We can’t afford to keep wasting precious time and resources. Ukraine is being bombarded in daily basis, Russia shows bad faith in negotiations, the US is a joke. We need to get our shit together and decide who is with us and who isn’t. We can’t keep dilly dallying, it’s a sign of indecisiveness and weakness, nobody is going to take the EU seriously if we keep going like this.
  
  Edit: I changed my view to a softer stance. The argument about Hungary’s energy dependence + self interest was quite convincing. I still think that going against strong common policies at perilous times should be taken seriously and maybe bring consequences.
  
  Edit 2: Some people have pointed out that there are elections coming soon in Hungary, so it would be a very bad time to punish Hungary in any form for the time being. I think that this is fair, maybe Orban will be voted out, only time will tell. Waiting seems more fair to me at the moment.","[{'e1': ' nobody', 'e2': 'the EU seriously', 'relation': ' is going to take ', 'condition': ' if we keep going like this.'}]"
29,P0030,1rcm9jm,"Context: I'm a man in my 30s who wants to date and have sex with women. I can't flirt, at all, and it seems impossible to learn in a way that fits my ethics. I would really like my view changed on this! Right now I feel trapped; my values seem incompatible with my dating goals, and the things I want from dating are both really important to me and difficult/impossible to change. It makes me sad to feel like I'll never succeed in dating.
  
  As for the argument in the title: Getting better at anything involves a period of practice while still being bad at it. At my skill level, flirting badly is guaranteed to make some women uncomfortable. My moral values currently include ""a good person/man shouldn't make women uncomfortable""; as long as I continue to act as though that's true, it's impossible for me to learn to flirt.
  
  I'll use a couple of examples to give you an idea of my current skill level. First example - My therapist once had me do an exercise where I was supposed to give out compliments during a trip to the grocery store. While trying to think of compliments, one of the people I saw was a woman who had two large, juicy watermelons in her cart ... and who also had large breasts. The comment that immediately popped into my mind was ""nice pair of melons you got there"". I did not say that! She would almost certainly not have appreciated that comment. If I try to learn how to flirt, a lot of the things I try while being bad at flirting will sound like that or just as creepy.
  
  For a less extreme example, I saw a really attractive woman recently, and one of the things I liked about her was that her hair looked amazing. She was a stranger. If I were trying to flirt with her, I would say something like ""I love your hair, it looks like you put a lot of effort into it"". That's less obviously creepy, but I've still been told that saying things like that can often make women uncomfortable. As a result, I've filtered comments like that into the mental category of things I shouldn't say, along with the melons joke. Everything flirty that I could say ends up in that mental category, and then when I try to think of ways to flirt I find that I've eliminated everything I could possibly say.
  
  Some ideas for what could change my view: 
  
  \- Suggest contexts where I can practice flirting, while still being bad at it, that have minimal risk of making women uncomfortable.
  
  \- Suggest a moral principle that's different from ""never make women uncomfortable"" or more nuanced, which gets most of the same results while making it possible to flirt badly sometimes.
  
  \- Talk about how to read signs that a woman is open/interested/flirting back. This one has a high bar to clear, though; I'm currently bad at this skill as well, so if I try to learn it I will inevitably misread situations and make a woman uncomfortable when I try to flirt with her even though she was sending signals of disinterest. (I'm also autistic so learning to read nonverbal signals is harder for me than it is for the average person, and I will make more mistakes while trying to learn it.)","[{'e1': 'flirting badly ', 'e2': 'some women uncomfortable', 'relation': 'is guaranteed to make ', 'condition': 'At my skill level'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': ' me to learn to flirt.', 'relation': 'is impossible for', 'condition': ""as long as I continue to act as though that's true""}, {'e1': 'My therapist ', 'e2': 'an exercise where I was supposed to give out compliments ', 'relation': 'once had me do ', 'condition': 'during a trip to the grocery store.'}, {'e1': ' a lot of the things I try ', 'e2': 'that or just as creepy.', 'relation': 'while being bad at flirting will sound like ', 'condition': 'If I try to learn how to flirt'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': '""I love your hair, it looks like you put a lot of effort into it', 'relation': 'would say something like ', 'condition': ' If I were trying to flirt with her'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'misread situations', 'relation': 'will inevitably ', 'condition': 'if I try to learn it'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'misread situations and make a woman uncomfortable', 'relation': 'will inevitably ', 'condition': ' when I try to flirt with her'}]"
30,P0031,1rcmb0o,"MCPS has to pay out 1.5 million to a couple of parents because the school district refused to maintain an opt-out process for LGBTQ lessons. The Supreme Court in Mahmoud v. Taylor 2025 sided with parents 6-3 rights to opt out their young children from these lessons. Presembly this ruling now applies nationwide.
  
  Polls show that a majority of Americans feel that LGBT issues should not be part of K-2 education at all, with support increasing each grade after that. In middle school support is split. In high school a majority support teaching those topics.
  
  While the Court has given parent's the right to opt their young children out, my view is that the majority views should be respected here and LGBT lessons should be dropped from elementary education for the following reasons:
  
  1. It's the majority national view and the will of the people should be respected.
  2. Certain LGBT topics poll better depending on the question, however, given LGBT has been treated as a unified umbrella by supporters, it should either be entirely allowed or entirely disallowed in the name of fairness. Again, polling suggests it should be entirely removed from elementary education. Creating carveouts isn't fair for more well supported subtopics.
  3. Mahmoud v. Taylor showed that teachers were unsatisfied with just exposing students to different ideas and people, but had been reinforcing moral lessons about those topics. This tells me that supporters are unlikely to ever be satisfied with the ability to teach that ""X people exist,"" a commonly used argument.
  4. This one is more anecdotal for me personally, but to me it is clear that liberals are intolerant of any conversation that would limit their idealogy to the point of banning critics from their spaces for anything critical of the ideology. Because I live in a liberal area, practically every space is ""their space."" Subreddits for my local communities will instantly permanent ban for any critqiue on these subjects. If liberals cannot host conversations on whether we should be teaching these topics to young children, then we should not allow it until those conversations are allowed.
  
  To change my views, someone would probably have to:
  
  1. Make a convincing argument against the four points above.
  2. Convince me that school districts have the right to groom young children towards a pro-LGBT idealogy.
  
  As for me personally, I tell my kids they are free to live and feel however they choose, but I am not convinced schools have the right to do these lessons on my behalf or that I can trust them to do it well. I do sympathize for the kids with unsupportive parents who grow up troubled by rigid world views, but frankly they can either wait until middle school, do a google search, or get indoctrinated on Reddit. I don't think these lessons need to be done in elementary school. Parental rights in elementary school should be prioritized.
  
  **Edit 1:**
  
  People keep asking for hard data on this. There's an abundance of polls and data out there. Here's just one that supports the idea we should keep LGBTQ lessons out of elementary:
  
  Polikoff et al., 2023
  
  [https://edworkingpapers.com/sites/default/files/ai23-838.pdf](https://edworkingpapers.com/sites/default/files/ai23-838.pdf)
  
  >“Respondents are mixed on whether LGBT topics should be taught, **opposing such teaching in elementary schools** … **Just 27% to 30% of respondents support teaching about LGBT issues in elementary schools**.
  
  Secondly, people keep asking what an ""LGBT lesson is."" I am not going to define that for you because it's both obvious and I think the fact this question is asked so frequently is a problem. The American public overwhelmingly does not support teaching about LGBT topics to young children, but liberals seem to be confused about what an LGBT issue is when everyone else seems to understand. People outside of this ideological bubble aren't having issues identifying or defining this term, but people inside are. All the more reason that liberals can't be trusted to teach these topics to young children if they can't even understand the definition.
  
  Edit 2:
  
  I am pleasantly surprised and refreshed that most people were able to discuss this without diving into hate. Thank you.
  
  Edit 3:
  
  This is coming up a lot, but people keep asking if I'd be opposed to a teacher saying ""Joey has two dads."" I'm going to refer to the Court's conclusions regarding this. Paraphrasing, the Court concluded that mere exposure to ideas and differences is acceptable without parental consent. Activities involving affirmations, endorsements, or adoption of value positions were not acceptable without parental consent. While I don't have any data on how these distinctions poll, I believe that the majority of the public would approve of mere exposure lessons without any affirmations, but I do not believe school districts are actually capable of conducting these types of lessons. Have you ever seen a picture book that just said ""Joey has two dads and we're not going to make any suggestions about whether or not you should accept that as a good thing?"" Probably not. Basically, in theory I'd be open to the idea of discussing changes that involved exposure without affirmations or endorsements, but I do not currently trust teachers and administrators to be able to successfully do this.","[{'e1': 'liberals ', 'e2': 'these topics to young children ', 'relation': ""can't be trusted to teach "", 'condition': ""if they can't even understand the definition.""}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': ' it ', 'relation': 'should not allow', 'condition': 'until those conversations are allowed.'}]"
31,P0032,1rcovxf,"I’ve noticed something in arguments, both online and in real life.
  
  A lot of people believe they stay calm and logically consistent when they’re challenged. But when the pushback actually intensifies, especially when real consequences or stakes get introduced, reasoning often starts to shift. Definitions get looser. Positions soften. Tone changes.
  
  I don’t think this is malicious. I think it’s human
  
  My view is that most people significantly overestimate how stable their reasoning stays under pressure.
  
  I’d change my view if someone can show that most people actually maintain logical consistency and emotional neutrality when pushback intensifies.
  
  If you disagree, I’m open to hearing why. I’m especially interested in hearing from people who believe they genuinely maintain composure and clarity when challenged hard.
  
  Separately, I’ve been experimenting with short pushback sessions to test this idea in practice. If anyone is curious about testing this idea firsthand, feel free to say so","[{'e1': ' reasoning ', 'e2': 'shift', 'relation': 'often starts to ', 'condition': ' when the pushback actually intensifies'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'my view ', 'relation': 'would change ', 'condition': 'if someone can show that most people actually maintain logical consistency and emotional neutrality when pushback intensifies.'}, {'e1': ' I', 'e2': 'why', 'relation': ' am open to hearing ', 'condition': 'If you disagree'}, {'e1': ' feel free ', 'e2': 'say so', 'relation': 'to ', 'condition': 'If anyone is curious about testing this idea firsthand'}]"
32,P0033,1rcppqz,"Like what do you even accomplish setting yourself on fire? What is it supposed to do? The people you are protesting against won’t be swayed in the slightest because they already hate you. If a Republican set themselves on fire in front of me I’m gonna laugh and record a video and it’s gonna be on every gore site in the world within the next two hours. Why can’t you just set something else on fire? Literally all you are doing is hurting yourself, and the people who actually care about you because whatever politician or businessman you’re setting yourself on fire over certainly would not care. I can think of no examples where self-immolation was actually effective.
  
  It is completely illogical I rest my case.","[{'e1': ' I', 'e2': ' laugh and record a video and it’s gonna be on every gore site in the world within the next two hours', 'relation': ' am gonna', 'condition': ' If a Republican set themselves on fire in front of me'}]"
33,P0034,1rcq9go,"I was part of a case study for intensive chemotherapy for abnormally aggressive Leukemias (CCG-2891) back in the 90s. While I'm extremely grateful and happy I made it through there will be lifelong medical risks associated to things like being more prone to other cancers, or just general organ damage from sepsis and tumorlysis syndrome.
  
  If I were to look into just my own self interests I should want to argue for cheap medical care to safeguard financially and look at nationalizing healthcare. However, as the US has drawn closer to nationalizing healthcare there has been a trend from less students prosuing medical degrees towards being a general physician to things often more privatized like optometry and pharmaceuticals. Especially with fear of collegic debt.
  
  For this reason I'm just pointing out that there is a relationship like with all industries where the market value does affect the vocational supply.
  
  People who want to pursue being a doctor out of virtue will always pursue their goal. But there's also people that want to be a Doctor for the money and recognition and I think that's completely fine. R&D really only makes strides when there's excess resources to support it. The costs of R&D is mainly absorbed by the US citizens because other countries don't recognize our patents. Which then allows new medical technology to be shared and refined to other countries to work off of.
  
  I think it's more moral for me to support absorbing that cost and potentially go bankrupt at some point because technology compounds and the technology advancement with medical field contributed to Quality of Life.
  
  If we fast forwarded 200 years from now, some people from one country going bankrupt seems insignificant to what our species benefits as a whole.
  
  People can say what they want about the US medical field but from all the years I've volunteered at my children's hospital I've met many families that flew overseas just to give their child the best option and that's something that makes me proud to be an American and why I'm against public healthcare even though it benefits me more.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' a case study for intensive chemotherapy for abnormally aggressive Leukemias (CCG-2891) ', 'relation': 'was part of', 'condition': 'back in the 90s'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'cheap medical care to safeguard financially and look at nationalizing healthcare', 'relation': 'should want to argue for ', 'condition': 'If I were to look into just my own self interests '}, {'e1': ' there ', 'e2': 'a trend from less students prosuing medical degrees towards being a general physician to things often more privatized like optometry and pharmaceuticals', 'relation': 'has been ', 'condition': 'as the US has drawn closer to nationalizing healthcare'}, {'e1': ' some people from one country', 'e2': ' our species benefits as a whole.', 'relation': ' going bankrupt seems insignificant to what', 'condition': 'If we fast forwarded 200 years from now'}]"
34,P0035,1rculic,"Example: being black in North America.
  
  Clarity: minority race in the normal definition and/or if the people in power are specifically discriminating against this race
  
  A disability is defined as: a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition that impairs, interferes with, or limits a person's ability to engage in certain tasks or actions or participate in typical daily activities and interactions (Merriam Webster). 
  
  Melanin concentration is a physical characteristic... That counts as a physical condition: the person is in a condition of x melanin concentration. Many commonly recognized disabilities such as autism does not directly prevent someone from doing certain tasks, actions, or daily life... It is society's inability to accommodate them and rigid norms that makes them unable to complete those things. If they were fully accommodated, they could do all of those things. (That doesn't apply to every disability, but there are many in which this is the case). 
  
  Knowing that and knowing that our society is still racist in general, (I will note that my experiences come from north America and Europe, but I have heard of discrimination due to skin color on other continents as well, just can't first hand verify it) being of the minority melanin skin tone results in racism which limits participation in certain tasks, actions, and parts of daily life. 
  
  I think that the reason people don't classify it as a disability is because they think it's a bad word and that disabilities can't be contextual. Some disabilities are contextual, that's not what I'm questioning. Some disabilities are only disabling because of an ableist society that is unable to accommodate them. I truly do not see the difference in definition, it seems to be a societal perception because it's still considered okay by many to think of disabled individuals as less. Saying that an individual in the race minority is disabled in that scenario does not mean anything negative about that person's skin color to me, it's just a statement of their experience.
  
  I will note, I'm autistic. You will do best to get through to me with logic most likely. I wouldn't call someone of minority skin color disabled in any context currently, but that's because I'm trying to respect social conventions and not offend. The concept of calling a person with the minority skin color disabled doesn't sit right with me, but I think that's because I try to conform to societal context... I'm posting here because I feel like I could be missing some other piece that makes it completely unfathomable. Also, there are lots of slightly different definitions of disability: I'm using the Merriam-Webster one as the reference for this conversation.
  
  I'm excited to see what I'm missing. 
  
  Edit: Mkay, mind changed. Disabled people and people of color can be defined as oppressed. This puts them into a category that acknowledges both have struggles caused by society (which is what I was getting at in my brain) but doesn't devalue the term disability. I have no interest in devaluing the term disability but felt that social conventions and systemic injustices caused them to be disadvantaged rather than what they are actually disadvantaged by. Thank you kind people, I knew my brain was missing something but I couldn't pin point it.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'all of those things', 'relation': 'could do ', 'condition': ' If they were fully accommodated'}]"
35,P0036,1rcv5xm,"First i want to precise that OBVIOUSLY i dont think every single european (and american) is a die hard racist and i know that there are good people everywhere yada yada
  
  Secondly i considers racism to be all form of hatred and prejudice againts one or several ethnic groups. Race literally does not exist and is only a cultural concept of the americas. E.g even if they are both east slavs, the way russians treat ukrainians is racism because it is hatred against their ethnicity. With that being said,
  
  I am a non ethnic european of a minority religion born and raised in france, who has never been to the usa. Everything that i will say come from from what i've witnessed/experience/knows, so if i get something factually wrong feel free to correct me
  
  American are less racists than europeans. The reason we think otherwise is because we notice more american racism because it is talked about much more meanwhile in europe it is denied widely and if you talk about the racism you experience you get insulted and told you are just a victim who should go back to their country. Most importantly, 40% percent of americans are poc. Like obviously racism is much more noticable in mainstream society and old. In europe i doubt that +10% of people arent white. Logically you hear less abour racism because there is no one to be racist against, theorically. It took only like a few dozens of thousands africans for europeans to complety have a meltdown. Eastern europeans countries have 0 brown or blacks yet they nearly all elected far right leader for years solely because they dont want muslim looking people.","[{'e1': ' feel free ', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'to correct ', 'condition': ' if i get something factually wrong'}]"
36,P0037,1rcx6i7,"There's a *lot* of hand-wringing in the media about the U.S. national debt and how large it is getting, even compared to the U.S. GDP. I believe this is due entirely to fear-mongering and misconceptions about what the U.S. national debt *is*. Here's why I hold that view; please change my mind if you can. I've numbered the various propositions for your convenience in attacking the position.
  
  (1) The dollar is a debt-based fiat currency. The national debt represents nearly all of the currency reserve (MB) from which dollars (M2, etc.) are made.
  
  (2) *Paying off* the Federal debt would be disastrous because it would eliminate most of the dollars from the world, essentially eliminating the currency. Even paying off part of the Federal debt would cause a deflationary crash.
  
  (3) Balancing the Federal budget would prevent further growth of M1, potentially preventing further growth of M2 or M3, and likely causing a deflationary crash.
  
  (4) A growing national debt is not a problem in the sense that it requires resources to pay off, because it should never be paid off.
  
  (5) Debt-to-GDP ratio is not a measure of how indentured (sic) the government is, it's a measure of how important the dollar is to the world economy as a whole, because:
  
  (5a) Labeling federal debt as D: D ≅ MB and L = k MB ≅ k D for some (approximate) constant k that includes things like the statutory fractional reserve ratio, the effect of leveraged investments, and so forth. 
  
  (5b) The GDP is the amount of dollars in the U.S. economy, times the velocity of money in the U.S. So if v is the velocity of money (number of transactions per year) and α is the fraction of L that resides in the U.S., then GDP = α v L.
  
  (5c) From 5a and 5b, the debt-to-GDP ratio is just (L/k) / (α v L). The L's cancel and the ratio is 1/αvk. Holding the overall banking multipler constant, the main way that GDP/D can vary is either changes in the velocity of money (if people hold on to the extra dollars created by treasury bond releases) or changes in the fraction of U.S. dollars that are actually used in the U.S. (α). 
  
  (5d) If debt-to-GDP grows greatly and the velocity of money isn't changing much, then a large fraction of the U.S. dollars in existence are being circulated in other parts of the world.
  
  (6) Having the dollar be the reserve currency of the world has been really good for the U.S. economy.
  
  (7) conclusion: having a high debt-to-GDP ratio is not necessarily bad, and in fact is an indicator of U.S. dominance in the world economy. 
  
  What am I missing here?
  
  -------------------
  
  Edit: Thanks to /u/Big_Statistician2566 for pointing out, clearly and cogently, what I'm missing. Clearly there's a lot more to monetary policy than I've been carrying around in my head, and I'm now prepared to accept that the debt-to-GDP ratio is something that needs addressing (with the nuanced approach that /u/Big_Statistician2566 described -- not a five-alarm fire, but something to pay attention to as part of a balanced fiscal policy). I'll be in and out over the next couple of hours, but am glad to engage should folks wish to continue the discussion.","[{'e1': 'a large fraction of the U.S. dollars', 'e2': 'other parts of the world.', 'relation': ' in existence are being circulated in ', 'condition': ""If debt-to-GDP grows greatly and the velocity of money isn't changing much""}]"
37,P0038,1rcxeds,"This is not about the ""f\*\*\* your feelings"" crowd who act provocative for no reason toward anyone and everyone (e.g. by doing useless thinks like publicly and obviously drinking from mugs that say ""liberal tears""). It's discussing the type who are concerned about something happening, whether it relates to politics, neighborhood affairs, household disputes, etc.
  
  Some people hear criticism of themselves as individuals or groups and think it's rude. For example, if I call Trump supporters Nazis, they have two responses: a) dispute it, sometimes adding commentary about provocation, b) accept it as fact because they don't view anything as wrong with Nazis. The assessment can be factually incorrect, but it is not rude (sometimes not necessarily divisive either) if the one saying it believes it to be the case.
  
  My reasoning is because of the amount of evidence you need for various claims to be logical. If you want to claim that I personally believe what is written in this post, you can do so even if you disagree by citing this Reddit post. You can gloss over whether a statement is factual in general and cite social media talk if your claim is not that it's true or correct. Rather, your claim is that it's being said and believed by some!
  
  Take the same idea with manners, ""political correctness"", respect, or whatever you want to call it. The only condition logically needed to satisfy it is that it's directed toward someone who supports or causes what you view as the relevant problem. It is admittedly pointless to yell at most Americans for the Darfur genocide, especially since few had any active position on the matter at any point. Unless it is addressed toward people or groups that supported genocide, inflammatory statements toward <insert boogeyman (a private individual) here> for supporting genocide are pointless. In which case you are probably just delusional. 
  
  On the other hand, if I address a statement about fascism toward Trump supporters, there's nothing rude about saying that they're all Nazis or too stupid to realize that if I actually believe that. If we both have non-Nazi values, it should logically be a wake-up call if someone sincerely believes that you are a Nazi.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'it ', 'relation': 'dispute ', 'condition': 'if I call Trump supporters Nazis'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': "" it as fact because they don't view anything as wrong with Nazis"", 'relation': 'accept', 'condition': 'if I call Trump supporters Nazis'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'so', 'relation': 'can do ', 'condition': 'If you want to claim that I personally believe what is written in this post'}, {'e1': 'You', 'e2': ' a statement is factual in general and cite social media talk ', 'relation': ' can gloss over whether', 'condition': ""if your claim is not that it's true or correct""}, {'e1': ' there', 'e2': ""they're all Nazis or too stupid to realize that "", 'relation': ' is nothing rude about saying that ', 'condition': ' if I address a statement about fascism toward Trump supporters'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'a wake-up call if someone sincerely believes that you are a Nazi.', 'relation': 'should logically be ', 'condition': 'If we both have non-Nazi values'}]"
38,P0039,1rdbpq8,"I'm moderately active (not as a content creator) in a bunch of highly active modding communities, namely skyrim and bannerlord. There's a distinct disdain for authors which use AI, even for to thumbnails. Recently the author of an AI diplomacy mod was slandered just because people can't understand that IA isn't free and assumed that paying for the AI backend (which you can autonomously set, mind you) was some sort of scam. On a free mod, mind you.
  
  
  I won't pile too much anecdotes here, but you got the point. My main arguments is simple. While I do understand that there are ethical concerns about copyright and creative work, the very existence of AI must be recognize as a matter of fact and dealt with on a pragmatic ground. Look, no matter how much you think you can munster support for your human-made artworks and scripted events. We do live in a world where AI can produce images that most people are fine with, and where the AI can create a more compelling storytelling than most - not any, but most - scripted events, expecially in gameplay-heavy games where the storytelling wasn't the original focus.
  
  
  At the end of the day, if you just choose to opposed AI, you are going to be left behind. On a large enough scale, most people will choose to use this new tool, as it is already happening. This neo-luddism won't work, exactly like the original luddism failed. It's more sensibile to recognize that a lot of human made art, expecially in the mass consumption field, is going to became luxory good - simirarly to the use of some Murano handmade glass in place of an industrial glass. Trying to gatekeep the use of AI is, as such, reactionary and anti-historical. 
  
  
  ///note that my languaguage system isn't english. I did my best to proofread this post, but there might be errors, so bear with me. I decided to not have the ai proofread and correct the post as a show of goodwill. Enjoy this human-made text.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'left behind', 'relation': 'are going to be ', 'condition': 'if you just choose to opposed AI'}, {'e1': ' most people ', 'e2': 'this new tool', 'relation': 'will choose to use ', 'condition': ' On a large enough scale'}]"
39,P0040,1rdf2p9,"You probably seen those houses made of plastic bottles that claim to be eco friendly, right? They dont. The reason behind this is because if you just upcycle plastic to make houses, you will create more microplastics to float around the air and make us unhealthier. In other words, if the plastic house collapses or gets severely damaged, it is almost impossible to repair it and therefore all your house becomes useless trash that goes in the landfill. Plastic houses also arent really safe, so they wont actually provide protection against bullets unless its just lots of plastic huddled together to make tons of bulletproof layers, which makes more microplastics to appear.
  
  It is better to use leftover pallets than plastic waste because pallets are also quite wasted a lot, and theyre at least biodegradable because theyre usually made of wood.
  
  In conclusion, despite all the benefits plastic homes can offer, they still harm the environment like big toxic beams generating a lot of waste. After all, wood is better for building eco friendly homes because they also have a high quantity left and theyre biodegradable too.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'more microplastics to float around the air and make us unhealthier', 'relation': 'will create ', 'condition': 'if you just upcycle plastic to make houses'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'is almost impossible to repair ', 'condition': 'if the plastic house collapses or gets severely damaged'}]"
40,P0041,1rdhik0,"We normally put people into jails as one of the many criminal sentences. I get that some people want to do that to rehabilitate criminals back into society but it is expensive since why should the taxpayer pay the cost of taking care of the criminal in jail when you could just simply simplify the sentences involved into maiming/killing the criminal involved and fines for minor/monentary crimes? Saves on money that can be used for other things like healthcare and infrastructure.
  
  So basically, the victim of a crime or their associates would be allowed/forced to maim or kill the criminal involved as soon as the sentence is proclaimed in the courtroom.
  
  And how to prevent the victim of a crime or their associates from doing the bare minimum if they are forced into taking revenge on a criminal? Well, they have to at minimum chop off the limbs of said criminal.
  
  Family members of criminals? Their loss. They should suck it up and accept it.
  
  Wrongful punishment? Put the judge, persecutor and jury members involved in the trial to death. And what if it causes a dearth of manpower? Forced recruitment of lawyers and law students to be judges and persecutors and anyone from the street to be jury members together with recruiting those without any sense of self preservation to fill those roles.
  
  Serial killers/mass murderers? Find a number of their associates such as family members or friends on social media equal to that of their victims and kill them alongside the criminal. Randomly chosen as well.
  
  Too cruel? I believe that cruelty to criminals is mercy to the innocent and a life must be paid with another life.
  
  CMV","[{'e1': 'the victim of a crime or their associates ', 'e2': 'the criminal involved ', 'relation': 'would be allowed/forced to maim or kill ', 'condition': 'as soon as the sentence is proclaimed in the courtroom.'}]"
41,P0042,1rdhx2t,"Edit 4: Putting all my edits on top instead of the bottom.
  
  Edit 3: I've seen some of the other sides of this issue both in this comment section and in various social media posts since I've posted this. I believe I may have oversimplified the conversation that is happening and why different people are reacting in different ways. 
  
  Consider my view revised to an understanding that this is not necessarily unique nor systemic to advocates of black issues. It just happens to put them more in the spotlight right now.
  
  Edit 2: Holy shit. I will not be responding further to comments making the case that he shouldn't have been there due to his disability. Assume he was fully within his rights to be there with your response, as any decent person should.
  
  Edit: The automod mentioned a potential issue with doing a CMV based around double-standards, but I cannot seem to locate that section of rules (mobile / small text). Totally understand if this post needs to be taken down though.
  
  ---
  
  The background: John Davidson is a disability activist with Tourettes. The most basic level of research into his medical condition will inform a person that John has zero control over his symptoms. 
  
  Furthermore and unfortunately, his main symptom is a tic which quite *literally and physically* forces him to say the most inappropriate thing possible in a given moment. At the BAFTAs, this unfortunately led to him shouting out the N-word while two black individuals were on stage.
  
  The reaction: While many are very understanding of John's condition, I have observed on social media, and particularly within spaces dedicated to advancing the interests of black people, a substantial amount of ignorant reactions. 
  
  These reactions range from comments suggesting he wouldn't have said the slur if it wasn't part of his regular vocabulary (assumes control and malice: ableist), to suggesting he shouldn't have attended the event if he was aware of his tic (ableist), to suggesting he should have apologized afterward (he has, but also: ableist to insist upon; he has no control over it).
  
  (Many have pointed out that the Jamie Foxx bit below is not entirely relevant here. I am crossing it out to avoid it as a red herring)
  
  ~~I will also cite Jamie Foxx's quote that, ""He meant that sh*t"" as evidence that these views are very public and have not faced substantial public condemnation *within* black spheres. This feeds my impression that these reactions are at least somewhat mainstream within the context of black communities.~~ 
  
  Why is this hypocritical instead of just wrong? Frankly, you don't have to look far to find a plethora of articles and posts by advocates of black issues about how it is *not black people's responsibility to educate white people* about racism, but white people's responsibility to be educated about it.
  
  A common theme in this type of statement is that it should not require education by black people, but empathy on the part of white people to become educated on black issues. Black people are the victim of racism and therefore should not be forced to bear the burden of educating others on their plight. And I strongly sympathize with this point of view, except that...
  
  If we are to apply this consistently, then the onus of responsibility is not on disabled people, but on the able-bodied, to have empathy for and become educated on the plight of the disabled. Able-bodied black people should not be excluded from this, and should be expected to have a level of understanding for neurological disorders strictly by virtue of empathy, unless we are to believe that black people are the only ones deserving of empathy.
  
  What would change my mind?
  
  A - Show me that (and how) the ""he's racist/shouldn't have been there"" reaction is only a fringe position among black people / black advocacy groups. 
  
  B - Show me that black advocacy groups by and large see it as the responsibility of black people and activists to educate and inform others as to their struggles. This would at least reduce the level of inconsistency here in my mind.
  
  C - There is some key and material fact that I have missed, which changes how the consistency or merit of reactions to this incident should be interpreted.","[{'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'there ', 'relation': ""shouldn't have been "", 'condition': 'due to his disability'}, {'e1': ' he ', 'e2': 'the slur ', 'relation': ""wouldn't have said "", 'condition': ""if it wasn't part of his regular vocabulary""}, {'e1': 'he ', 'e2': ' the event ', 'relation': ""shouldn't have attended"", 'condition': 'if he was aware of his tic'}, {'e1': 'the onus of responsibility', 'e2': 'disabled people, but on the able-bodied', 'relation': ' is not on ', 'condition': 'If we are to apply this consistently'}]"
42,P0043,1rdkhcd,"My question is simply coming from a sociological perspective. 
  
  A.I. can basically take a photo of anyone and with a keystroke undress them. If that wasn't odd enough A.I. can also take that same naked photo and do with it what ever is prompted. 
  
  With the rise of simple photo, video texting and email there are probably more naked photos and video's of ourselves floating around that we have willingly sent to others than can be counted ! 
  
  Is it time humanity just get's over the taboo of being naked ? Or learns to un-sexualize the sight of the naked human body ? 
  
  I don't purpose a solution to this and I'm definitely not suggesting that more people need to expose themselves publicly in order to de-sensitize the masses. Yet I do believe society in general might need to change it's perspective. It seems that we have lost our right's to remain hidden behind clothing. We have lost our rights to any picture of ourselves that have been made public. A.I. is forcing some big changes on culture and it's happening in a shocking way. 
  
  I'm a European and though from a fairly conservative country nudity is something most of us don't alway perceive as being sexual. It depends on the setting of course. At the beach, sometimes in public parks and in the Sauna nakedness is a normal sight and no one thinks about it. I'm not saying there is no stigma what so ever. But it's a fairly relaxed perspective in general. 
  
  Yet online it seems nudity of all sort's seems to always be viewed as sexualized. An depending on the country the level of taboo is quite different. Clothing of all sorts in general started out as being quite a utilitarian thing. Then culture, religion, public laws, got wrapped up in it and nakedness became over sexualized. Woman bearing the brunt of most of this sadly. 
  
  I","[{'e1': 'nudity ', 'e2': ""most of us don't alway perceive as being sexual "", 'relation': 'is something ', 'condition': 'It depends on the setting of course'}, {'e1': ' nakedness ', 'e2': 'a normal sight ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': ' At the beach'}, {'e1': ' nakedness ', 'e2': 'a normal sight ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': ' sometimes in public parks '}, {'e1': ' nakedness ', 'e2': 'a normal sight ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'in the Sauna'}]"
43,P0044,1rdnnuo,"There is a dopamine hit that some people get when they're able to paint self-righteous people as hypocrites. This dopamine hit overrides all logic and nuance.
  
  Whenever it is expressed that the Left are the ""real racists"" who engage in the ""racism of low expectations,"" it's usually far more nuanced and understandable than critics acknowledge or understand.
  
  What do I mean exactly? I'm talking about arguments like this:
  
  *The Left calls the Right racist for wanting to implement voter ID because it would exclude black people. Uh, news flash buddy: that's the REAL racism because the implication that black people are too stupid to get voter ID is ""racism of low expectations."" It means that the Left think black people are inherently stupid, obviously, and can't figure out how to get ID!*
  
  This is a dumb argument because:
  
  1. It's just objectively true that a disproportionate number of minorities lack photo ID; it's not a judgment or reflection of any particular character trait of that minority group, it can just be a fact.
  
  2. There is no specific reference or accusation of stupidity or any other inherent trait being responsible for this lack: it could be that black people are disproportionately far from a DMV, or work hours that prevent them from going: nothing to do with some inherent trait
  
  3. Getting ID could be confusing to *everyone*: that is to say, part of the problem with voter ID historically is that the ruling party has the power to make it DELIBERATELY confusing or inaccessible in order to shut out black people. Saying ""voter ID is racist"" is NOT saying ""because black people are too incompetent to get ID,"" it's saying, *the very notion of voter ID historically has been to exclude black people through deliberate strategies to exclude black neighborhoods, so it's possible something like this may be attempted again.* It's not a reflection of some specific, inherent incompetence.
  
  This is just one example (voter ID) but in MOST examples in which ""racism of low expectations"" is invoked, the reality is that real obstacles that would be tricky for ANYONE are conflated with an accusation of inherent incompetence.","[{'e1': 'There', 'e2': 'a dopamine hit that some people get ', 'relation': ' is ', 'condition': ""when they're able to paint self-righteous people as hypocrites.""}]"
44,P0045,1rdoirl,"I think this might not actually just be some large scale coincidence. The color blue above all else represents loyalty (so by extension loyalty to your family, your freedom, your community, your country, etc), while red usually represents martyrdom (""look at how I've been wronged, oh look at me, I've been oppressed, I'm the victim,"" etc)
  
  I'll list some parties to elaborate on my point. In the United States, the Democratic Party has been the blue party ever since about 2000 (when the colors switched), and around the same time was when the Republican Party stopped being the party of Reagan and drifted closer towards the broader ideas of right wing populism and this overarching theme of ""being oppressed by the deep state,"" or something to that effect.
  
  Let's go to the rest of the Anglosphere now, the Conservatives in Canada, the Tories in Britain, the Liberals in Australia, and the Democratic Alliance in South Africa. They all have neighbors to their political left who harp about the plight of the working class, and how ""those evil"" corporations take advantage of people, and they also have neighbors to their political right who demonize immigrants, global institutions, and certain civil liberties. 
  
  Going to the rest of Europe the trend continues, the Christian Democratic Party in Germany, the People's Party in Spain, the Republicans in France, etc. They all have socialist and fascist neighbors on either side of them, and they all share the color blue.
  
  In almost every instance, a country's ""blue party"" doesn't just sit around blaming the deep state, immigrants, capitalism, or some other factor for all their problems, they don't embrace hardcore victimhood, and in my view this isn't a coincidence.","[{'e1': 'the Democratic Party ', 'e2': 'the blue party ever since about 2000', 'relation': 'has been ', 'condition': 'In the United States'}]"
45,P0046,1rdrgtr,"One story keeps coming up everywhere about Winter Olympics: two Chinese American women from California, Eileen Gu and Alysa Liu, both elite athletes, both raised in the Bay Area, both with roots in China. One competes for Team USA. The other competes for China. And somehow this has become a national loyalty test.
  
  People are turning ""Be an Alysa Liu"" into a slogan: be the one who chose America. Politicians are weighing in, calling Gu's choice a kind of betrayal. And on the other side of the ocean, Chinese nationalists have their own version of the same anger.
  
  Here's what I can't get past: we don't apply this standard to anything else.
  
  1. If a software engineer born in Ohio takes a job at a company headquartered in Berlin, nobody calls them a traitor. If a chef raised in Texas opens a restaurant in Tokyo, nobody questions their loyalty. We celebrate people who cross borders for opportunity in every profession except, apparently, sports.
  
  2. The counterargument I keep hearing is that the Olympics are different: they're about representing your country, not just yourself. The flag matters. The anthem matters. And I get the emotional pull of that. When Alysa Liu won gold, it meant something to a lot of people that she was wearing red, white, and blue - although probably same group of people or \*cough\* ICE \*cough\* are SO eager to kick “non-successful” immigrants so easily. 
  
  3. But here's what bothers me: the same people who say ""she owes it to America"" would never accept the reverse argument: that someone born in another country who moves here at age 5 and becomes successful owes their talent to the country they left. We'd say that person earned it, they chose where to be, and that's their right.
  
  My view is this: Talent belongs to the person who developed it. Not to the country that issued their birth certificate. Expecting someone to feel permanently indebted to the place they were born, especially someone who grew up between two cultures -like me- is a standard we apply selectively, and usually only when geopolitics makes it convenient.
  
  I think what's really happening is we're using athletes as proxies for bigger anxieties about loyalty and belonging that we haven't figured out how to talk about honestly. And I think that's unfair to Gu, to Liu, and to every kid growing up between two worlds who's being told they eventually have to pick one.
  
  Change my view.","[{'e1': ' nobody', 'e2': 'a traitor', 'relation': ' calls them ', 'condition': ' If a software engineer born in Ohio takes a job at a company headquartered in Berlin'}, {'e1': ' nobody', 'e2': 'their loyalty', 'relation': ' questions ', 'condition': ' If a chef raised in Texas opens a restaurant in Tokyo'}]"
46,P0047,1rdrsz6,"Canada is deeply intertwined to the united states both physically, culturally, and economically. to such a degree that at this point attempting to separate them will achieve nothing but harm.
  
  ill skip the history and look at the cold facts. today canadas largest trade partner by far is the united states. accounting for \~60% of all canadas trade, this gets even worse in you just look at exports, america is the destination for roughly 75% of canadas exports. its gotten to the point where now where every province of Canada trades more with america then with the rest of Canada. 
  
  at this point trying to remove that link would inevitably cause a depression. Canadian statisticians crunching the numbers on the potential impact of trumps tarrifs found that even a 25% us tarrif would cause Canadas economy to contract by 2% a year. this is especially bad as Canadas real gdp per capita has been on a steady decline for the last 5 years. trying to cut the cord entirely would conservatively cause canada to lose 20% of its GDP. thats assuming just the exports go, not counting any knock on effects. 
  
  but even assuming canada is prepared to except an economic hit as large as the great depression, theres also the uncaring facts of geography. to the west Canadas coast is surrounded by american possessions and even beyond the immediate coast there is atleast one american island between canada and anything they would want to trade with in asia. if the us wanted to be nasty and impose sanctions similar to cuba or iran, canadas pacific trade would dry up, just due to the lack of resupply ports. in addition, over half of canadas population lives south of the 49th parallel, and the only major cities more then 50 miles from the border are Edmonton and Calgary. this has lead to a situation where its often faster for canadian shipping companies to bring goods in at Vancouver or Halifax, bring them overland to america, use the much better and more direct american interstate system, then return to canada for final delivery. even just a slight increase in customs fees or a more through inspection process could seriously increase canadian prices.
  
  finally from a military perspective canada has very little hope at ever stopping the us. as early as 1862 britian realized they had no hope of defending canada, with the prime minister saying that america could biuld an army from scratch and capture canada before britian could intervene, and britians interwar plan for a war with the us saw them evacuate canada immediately. today canada has an military only 13% the size of america and population around a population 12% the size. combined with canadas development pattern being essentially a string of pearls along the us border there is very little a canadian government can do to resist the americans. the best they can hope is that britian or france will avenge them. 
  
  this is unfortunately a case of realpolitk, where a strong nation and bully its weak neighbor without much in the way of consequences, and any attempt to resist hurts the resister more then oppressor. i would love it if you could prove me wrong on any of these points.","[{'e1': ' Canadas coast ', 'e2': ' american possessions ', 'relation': 'is surrounded by', 'condition': 'to the west'}, {'e1': 'there ', 'e2': 'one american island between canada and anything they would want to trade with in asia.', 'relation': 'is atleast ', 'condition': ' beyond the immediate coast'}, {'e1': ' canadas pacific trade ', 'e2': 'dry up, just due to the lack of resupply ports.', 'relation': 'would ', 'condition': 'if the us wanted to be nasty and impose sanctions similar to cuba or iran'}, {'e1': 'canada ', 'e2': 'very little hope at ever stopping the us.', 'relation': 'has ', 'condition': ' from a military perspective '}, {'e1': 'i ', 'e2': 'it ', 'relation': 'would love ', 'condition': 'if you could prove me wrong on any of these points. '}]"
47,P0048,1rdxtoq,"As you may or may not know, Mexico damn near descended into chaos the other day after a military operation that resulted in the killing of one cartel boss, El Mencho, took place. In retaliation, the cartel, CJNG, went on a terrorism spree, shoot\*ng up the international airport of Guadalajara, att\*cking grocery stores, k\*lling innocent civilians, wreaking havoc for havocs’ sake. They weren’t even targeting military personnel, they were intentionally terrorizing civilians to make going against the cartel unpopular, literally forcing the civilian populace into submission by fear. Hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, of Mexicans throughout the country were forced to stay in their houses or risk being purposely shot by the cartel.
  
  I was listening to someone talk about their experience and how they’re managing, and they ended their video with a surprising “fuck the president”. This shocked me, because I know that Claudia Sheinbaum enjoys a relatively high approval rating in Mexico for the most part. But apparently, and to the dismay of countless Mexicans, she’s more lax on the cartels than people would prefer. She calls the war against the narcos “unlawful” because it’s killing without trial and only increases the homicide rate in Mexico (which is true), and says that the war against narcos is something that “the conservatives” want but that her administration won’t partake in.
  
  And I get it. In an ideal world, everyone suspected of committing a crime — even terrorists— would face due process and go through a fair trial. But after what happened (and what is still going on), there gets to a point where the masses might stop caring about “the right to a fair trial” if it gets them results like El Salvador quicker. People are literally looking at El Salvador and saying that theirs is a model Mexico needs to follow. It’s sad. There are people saying that a couple of false arrests and convictions is a price they’re willing to pay to eliminate the narcos for good.
  
  I’m not going to pretend I know the solution to the narco problem. But it really does look like the patience of the masses is running out (or has already run out), and sooner or later, pro-Bukele sentiment is going to popularize in Mexico. An alternative to defeating the narcos quickly needs to happen immediately.","[{'e1': ' the cartel, CJNG ', 'e2': ' a terrorism spree', 'relation': 'went on', 'condition': 'In retaliation'}, {'e1': ' there ', 'e2': ' a point where the masses might stop caring about “the right to a fair trial” ', 'relation': 'gets to', 'condition': 'if it gets them results like El Salvador quicker'}]"
48,P0049,1rdy64q,"&#x200B;
  
  The Argument:
  
  Napoleon did not lose against the 7th collation because of lack of soldiers he brought a sword to A PR fight.He had the receipts to prove the allies were the real criminals.If he had leaked that they had already defaulted on their end of the deal.By withholding his legal pension and kidnapping his son the allies had effectively voided the peace treaty themselves.Napoleon allowed his enemies to fame him as an unisuper when he could have manipulated the situation so the public views his as a father who son wife and bank account where stolen from him and let to starve in an island.He had knowledge that he could have used that would have caused the allies to argue and distrust each other.As well as made it politically hard to declare war on him without looking corrupt to their people
  
  2 Months before He leaves elba he writes this legal protest 
  
  The ""Open Letter to the Sovereigns of Europe""
  
  Date: January 1815
  
  From: The Island of Elba
  
  ""To the Monarchs of the Coalition,
  
  You call me the 'disturber of peace,' yet I sit in silence on this rock for 237 days while you tear the laws of man to pieces.
  
  I ask the world to look at your 'Peace': You signed a Treaty at Fontainebleau to provide for my family. Today, that treaty is dead at your hands. My pension is stolen by the French Treasury. My son—a child of four—has been stripped of his name and kidnapped. My wife is surrounded by your spies and kept from her husband.
  
  Is this the 'Justice' you promised Europe? If the Great Powers can break a contract with a Sovereign, they will break a contract with any merchant, any farmer, and any citizen. By violating your own signatures, you have declared that might makes right.
  
  You have broken the pact. You have stolen the bread of my house and the name of my son. Therefore, you have released me from my cage. I am no longer bound by a treaty you have already murdered. I await your answer, or I shall come to find it myself.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-When napoleon send letters from elba in real life the allies mostly tossed them aside and didn't read them.And the one they did they just saw as a ex emperor complaining he never sent anything like this .He is just doing this so when they find out he escaped it will be there fault for not responding in time and makes them look bad when he escapes and the other letters leak.Napoleon was native Corsica and sailors in that region were loyal to him for him to be able to smuggle the letters
  
  When He escapes Elba 
  
  Sent: February 26, 1815
  
  
  
  Smoking Gun Turning The Coalition Against Each other and not trust each other to prevent them from uniting against him which they were historically arguing among themselves how to split the territories at this time.
  
  The ""Thank You"" Troll Note (To the British Government)
  
  The Goal: To make Russia and Austria believe Britain secretly allowed him to escape so he would destabilize Europe, destroying trust within the Coalition.
  
  Sent: February 26, 1815
  
  ""To the British Ministry,
  
  As I depart Elba, I must express my sincere gratitude for the 'vigilance' of your Commissioner, Colonel Campbell. His timely decision to abandon his post and visit his mistress in Italy made my departure as smooth as the peace we all desire. It is clear that England has chosen to 'look the other way' while I return to restore order. I look forward to our future 'cooperation' in balancing the powers of Europe.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-When napoleon was on elba the british Colonel that was supposed to watch him left to visit his mistress in italy or see a doctor.As a result he was literally able to sail back to france.If brittan denys it then why wasn’t napoleon well guarded in the first place why did napoleon sent that note thanking the british government collation government thanks.
  
  The Legal Notice”(To the King of France)
  
  The Goal:To frame his return as a Legal Foreclosure rather than an invasion.This makes the French military public see the king as the Lawbreaker and Napoleon as the Plaintiff.Also to make the french government look corrupt and untrustworthy to the other allies and the public.
  
  ""To King Louis XVIII,
  
  ""You have defaulted on the Treaty of Fontainebleau. By withholding the pension guaranteed to my household, you have left me unable to feed my men—the veterans who bled for France. You have turned the heroes of the nation into beggars. Since you have murdered the contract that kept the peace, I am coming to France to collect the debt you owe to my soldiers and my family.""
  
  NoteThe other allies told France to pay Napoleon his pension historically they refused napoleon had men on the island to feed.His mom and sister was on the island with him when he escaped.
  
  The Black Mail Letter to Emperor Francis I (Austria)
  
  Goal: Make him seem corrupt to the public as someone who would betrayal his own son and not allow his son and wife to see their father
  
  To Emperor Francis I
  
  ""Sire,
  
  You have defaulted on the Treaty of Fontainebleau and the laws of God. You are preventing my wife and son from visiting me, holding them as prisoners while you manipulate them to forget their home.
  
  You have intercepted my letters, stolen the inheritance of Parma, and stripped my son of his French titles. Most shameful of all, you hired Count Neipperg to seduce my wife and dishonor your own daughter to ensure our family remains broken.
  
  I am coming to France. Step aside, or I will expose you to the world as a pimp, a thief, and a kidnapper of your own blood.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-The treaty stated that the duchy of Parma would be given to marie louis and passed down to Napoleon son.Francis underpressure stripped his son right to inherit that land instead turned into a life time deal for his daughter.The treaty recognized the family's right to their imperial titles and their statues Francis forced th boy to give up his Napoleon 2 and King of rome title.The treaty did not see that Napoleon wife and son could not visit him.Francis intercepted her letters from napoleon prevented her from visiting him.He also hired a noble man Count Niepegg to seduce her and make him forgot him Napoleon heard this rumors in elba about the lover.
  
  The Honor Trap Letter to the Tsar( Russia)
  
  The Goal:Guilt trip him his a man of honor image by making him feel like he is being used by the allies in a kidnapping ring.Make him distrust the allies what else have they lied to him about.He might feel his name was dishonored and back out.The treaty was not honored and leaked to the public gives him a good excuse for him not to help them destroy Napoleon.
  
  To Tsar Alexander I
  
  Sire,
  
  You gave your word on the Treaty of Fontainebleau, but your Allies have defaulted. They have prevented my wife and son from visiting me, keeping them in a gilded cage where they have been manipulated and brainwashed to forget their home and their father.
  
  They have intercepted my letters, stolen the inheritance of Parma, and stripped my son of his name. They even hired Count Neipperg to seduce my wife and destroy our marriage. Will the Great Tsar really lead his army to defend men who use brainwashing and pimping as political tools?""
  
  After Returning To Paris March 1815
  
  The Argument:
  
  Napoleon did not lose against the 7th collation because of lack of soldiers he brought a sword to A PR fight.He had the receipts to prove the allies were the real criminals.If he had leaked that they had already defaulted on their end of the day.By withholding his legal pension and kidnapping his son the allies had effectively voided the peace treaty themselves.Napoleon allowed his enemies to fame him as an unisuper when he could have manipulated the situation so the public views his as a father who son wife and bank account where stolen from him and let to starve in an island.He had knowledge that he could have used that would have caused the allies to argue and distrust each other.As well as made it politically hard to declare war on him without looking corrupt to their people
  
  2 Months before He leaves elba he writes this legal protest 
  
  The ""Open Letter to the Sovereigns of Europe""
  
  Date: January 1815
  
  From: The Island of Elba
  
  ""To the Monarchs of the Coalition,
  
  You call me the 'disturber of peace,' yet I sit in silence on this rock while you tear the laws of man to pieces.
  
  I ask the world to look at your 'Peace': You signed a Treaty at Fontainebleau to provide for my family. Today, that treaty is dead at your hands. My pension is stolen by the French Treasury. My son—a child of four—has been stripped of his name and kidnapped. My wife is surrounded by your spies and kept from her husband.
  
  Is this the 'Justice' you promised Europe? If the Great Powers can break a contract with a Sovereign, they will break a contract with any merchant, any farmer, and any citizen. By violating your own signatures, you have declared that might makes right.
  
  You have broken the pact. You have stolen the bread of my house and the name of my son. Therefore, you have released me from my cage. I am no longer bound by a treaty you have already murdered. I await your answer, or I shall come to find it myself.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-When napoleon send letters from elba in real life the allies mostly tossed them aside and didn't read them.And the one they did they just saw as a ex emperor complaining he never sent anything like this .He is just doing this so when they find out he escaped it will be there fault for not responding in time and makes them look bad when he escapes and the other letters leak.Napoleon was native Corsica and sailors in that region were loyal to him for him to be able to smuggle the letters
  
  When He escapes Elba 
  
  Sent: February 26, 1815
  
  
  
  Smoking Gun Turning The Coalition Against Each other and not trust each other to prevent them from uniting against him which they were historically arguing among themselves how to split the territories at this time.
  
  The ""Thank You"" Troll Note (To the British Government)
  
  The Goal: To make Russia and Austria believe Britain secretly allowed him to escape so he would destabilize Europe, destroying trust within the Coalition.
  
  Sent: February 26, 1815
  
  ""To the British Ministry,
  
  As I depart Elba, I must express my sincere gratitude for the 'vigilance' of your Commissioner, Colonel Campbell. His timely decision to abandon his post and visit his mistress in Italy made my departure as smooth as the peace we all desire. It is clear that England has chosen to 'look the other way' while I return to restore order. I look forward to our future 'cooperation' in balancing the powers of Europe.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-When napoleon was on elba the british Colonel that was supposed to watch him left to visit his mistress in italy or see a doctor.As a result he was literally able to sail back to france.If brittan denys it then why wasn’t napoleon well guarded in the first place why did napoleon sent that note thanking the british government collation government thanks.
  
  The Legal Notice”(To the King of France)
  
  The Goal:To frame his return as a Legal Foreclosure rather than an invasion.This makes the French military public see the king as the Lawbreaker and Napoleon as the Plaintiff.Also to make the french government look corrupt and untrustworthy to the other allies and the public.
  
  ""To King Louis XVIII,
  
  ""You have defaulted on the Treaty of Fontainebleau. By withholding the pension guaranteed to my household, you have left me unable to feed my men—the veterans who bled for France. You have turned the heroes of the nation into beggars. Since you have murdered the contract that kept the peace, I am coming to France to collect the debt you owe to my soldiers and my family.""
  
  NoteThe other allies told France to pay Napoleon his pension historically they refused napoleon had men on the island to feed.His mom and sister was on the island with him when he escaped.
  
  The Black Mail Letter to Emperor Francis I (Austria)
  
  Goal: Make him seem corrupt to the public as someone who would betrayal his own son and not allow his son and wife to see their father
  
  To Emperor Francis I
  
  ""Sire,
  
  You have defaulted on the Treaty of Fontainebleau and the laws of God. You are preventing my wife and son from visiting me, holding them as prisoners while you manipulate them to forget their home.
  
  You have intercepted my letters, stolen the inheritance of Parma, and stripped my son of his French titles. Most shameful of all, you hired Count Neipperg to seduce my wife and dishonor your own daughter to ensure our family remains broken.
  
  I am coming to France. Step aside, or I will expose you to the world as a pimp, a thief, and a kidnapper of your own blood.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-The treaty stated that the duchy of Parma would be given to marie louis and passed down to Napoleon son.Francis underpressure stripped his son right to inherit that land instead turned into a life time deal for his daughter.The treaty recognized the family's right to their imperial titles and their statues Francis forced th boy to give up his Napoleon 2 and King of rome title.The treaty did not see that Napoleon wife and son could not visit him.Francis intercepted her letters from napoleon prevented her from visiting him.He also hired a noble man Count Niepegg to seduce her and make him forgot him Napoleon heard this rumors in elba about the lover.
  
  The Honor Trap Letter to the Tsar( Russia)
  
  The Goal:Guilt trip him his man of honor by make him feel like he is being used by the allies in a kidnapping ring.Make him distrust the allies what else have they lied to him about.He might feel his name was dishonored and back out.The treaty was not honored and leaked to the public gives him a good excuse for him not to help them destroy Napoleon.
  
  To Tsar Alexander I
  
  Sire,
  
  You gave your word on the Treaty of Fontainebleau, but your Allies have defaulted. They have prevented my wife and son from visiting me, keeping them in a gilded cage where they have been manipulated and brainwashed to forget their home and their father.
  
  They have intercepted my letters, stolen the inheritance of Parma, and stripped my son of his name. They even hired Count Neipperg to seduce my wife and destroy our marriage. Will the Great Tsar really lead his army to defend men who use brainwashing and pimping as political tools?""
  
  After Returning To Paris March 1815
  
  The Memorandum of Treachery Tsar Alexander I (Russia)
  
  The Goal-Get Alexander to not trust the allies when he realizes France and Britain Austria was planning to betrayal him and Napoleon has been all the only honest one here show he was getting played.
  
  ""To my Brother, the Emperor Alexander,
  
  While you were leading your brave Russians to ‘liberate’ Europe, the men standing next to you were sharpening their knives for your back.
  
  I found the enclosed treaty on the desk of Louis XVIII. It was signed in secret while you sat at the same table as them. It proves that England, Austria, and the Bourbons had already formed a pact to declare war on Russia the moment I was out of the way.
  
  These are the men you call Allies. They have defaulted on the peace, they have stolen the land of Parma from my son, and they have used Count Neipperg to dishonor my family. But more than that, they have made you a fool.
  
  Will the 'Great Tsar' continue to bleed for a coalition of thieves who were planning his destruction while they smiled in his face? I do not return to fight you, Alexander. I return to defend my family from the very men who are currently betraying you.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-The tsar respected Napoleon and fought heard for him to get this honorable exile in elba.He was a man of honor and viewed himself of a protector he didn’t like to be seen as a villain or a liar.When Napoleon entered the Tuileries Palace in paris king louis fled so quickly that he accidentally left a copy of a secret pact sitting right in his desk between.The pact stated that if russia or prussia didn’t back down on their land demands in Poland Saxony Britain Austria and France would form an army of 150k man each so 450k against him.
  
  The ""Impossible Justification"": Why the Allies Can’t Sell the War To the public
  
  Note-If these Letters leak to the public the Allied declaration of war is a Pr Succide Note
  
  When the King say War Declaration vs what the Public Hears
  
  The British did not let Bonaparte escape
  
  Public Result-The man in charge of the most dangerous prisoner in history abandoned his post to get laid in the time Napoleon happen to escape from elba
  
  Napoleon has placed himself outside the protection of the law
  
  Public Result-We are declaring him an outlaw so we don't have to pay him the millions we defaulted on the treaty
  
  We fight to restore the legitimate borders of europe
  
  Public Result-We are fighting to finalize the theft of Parama from a 4 year old boy who can’t defend himself 
  
  We march as the Holly Alliance of Christian Sovereigns
  
  Public Result-We are a gang of pips and kidnappers who hired count Niepperge to destroy a marriage intercepted letters of love and brainwash a 4 year old child
  
  We are united in our pursuit of a lasting peace
  
  Public Result-We are backstabbing liars who signed a secret treaty in January to start a war against our ally the tsar who is an idiot 
  
  Conclusion-I think Napoleon could if he is chill remain in power long term as a constitutional monarch allied powers would look like idiots and negotiate.But the issue is all this happen could feed into napoleon ego and tell him the universe is telling him he was right and led to him expand.If he is not chill he might eventually cross boundaries find any excuse and star another war and end up in st helena again later on.If he is chill which at this point in his life he was having health issues then he is good.Napoleon would most likely ask demand austria to return his son and wife.Austria might just return his son which Napoleon would probably be satisfied.His ego could be shattered when he realizes his wife didn't really want him back.If austria refuses to return his son Napoleon most likely goes to war with them and takes him by force.The other powers would find it politically hard to defend them due to political pressures especially if its proven they stole land from a 4 year old.So must likely austria would be forced to give Napoleon son back to avoid a war.
  
  .
  
  .
  
  ""To my Brother, the Emperor Alexander,
  
  While you were leading your brave Russians to ‘liberate’ Europe, the men standing next to you were sharpening their knives for your back.
  
  I found the enclosed treaty on the desk of Louis XVIII. It was signed in secret while you sat at the same table as them. It proves that England, Austria, and the Bourbons had already formed a pact to declare war on Russia the moment I was out of the way.
  
  These are the men you call Allies. They have defaulted on the peace, they have stolen the land of Parma from my son, and they have used Count Neipperg to dishonor my family. But more than that, they have made you a fool.
  
  Will the 'Great Tsar' continue to bleed for a coalition of thieves who were planning his destruction while they smiled in his face? I do not return to fight you, Alexander. I return to defend my family from the very men who are currently betraying you.""
  
  — NAPOLEON
  
  Note-The tsar respected Napoleon and fought heard for him to get this honorable exile in elba.He was a man of honor and viewed himself of a protector he didn’t like to be seen as a villain or a liar.When Napoleon entered the Tuileries Palace in paris king louis fled so quickly that he accidentally left a copy of a secret pact sitting right in his desk between.The pact stated that if russia or prussia didn’t back down on their land demands in Poland Saxony Britain Austria and France would form an army of 150k man each so 450k against him.
  
  The ""Impossible Justification"": Why the Allies Can’t Sell the War
  
  Note-If these Letters leak to the public the Allied declaration of war is a Pr Succide Note
  
  When the King say War Declaration vs what the Public Hears
  
  The British did not let help Bonaparte escape
  
  Public Result-The man in charge of the most dangerous prisoner in history abandoned his post to get laid the time Napoleon happen to escape from elba
  
  Napoleon has placed himself outside the protection of the law
  
  Public Result-We are declaring him an outlaw so we don't have to pay him the millions we defaulted on the treaty
  
  We fight to restore the legitimate borders of europe
  
  Public Result-We are fighting to finalize the theft of Parama from a 4 year old boy who can’t defend himself 
  
  We march as the Holly Alliance of Christian Sovereigns
  
  Public Result-We are a gang of pips and kidnappers who hired count Niepperge to destroy a marriage intercepted letters of love and brainwash a 4 year old child
  
  We are united in our pursuit of a lasting peace
  
  Public Result-We are backstabbing liars who signed a secret treaty in January to start a war against our ally the tsar who is an idiot 
  
  Conclusion-I think Napoleon could if he is chill remain in power long term as a constitutional monarch allied powers would look like idiots and negotiate.But the issue is all this happen could feed into Napoleon ego and tell him the universe is telling him he was right and led to him expand.If he is not chill he might eventually cross boundaries find any excuse and start another war and end up in st helena again later on.If he is chill which at this point in his life he was having health issues then he is good.Napoleon would most likely ask demand austria to return his son and wife.Austria might just return his son which Napoleon would probably be satisfied.His ego could be shattered when he realizes his wife didn't really want him back.If austria refuses to return his son Napoleon most likely goes to war with them and takes him by force.The other powers would find it politically hard to defend them due to political pressures especially if its proven they stole land from a 4 year old.So must likely austria would be forced to give Napoleon son back to avoid a war.
  
  .","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'a contract with any merchant, any farmer, and any citizen ', 'relation': 'will break ', 'condition': 'If the Great Powers can break a contract with a Sovereign'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'might makes right.', 'relation': 'have declared that ', 'condition': 'By violating your own signatures'}]"
49,P0050,1rec7xd,"I'll start of by saying I'm not judging people for watching porn. I'm not moral policing, as everybody has the right to do whatever they please as long as it isn't harming anyone.
  
  But several studies https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27388511/
  
  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6155976/
  
  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10399954/
  
  https://www.scirp.org/journal/paperinformation?paperid=72840
  
  Of course you could argue that the causation is being misrepresented and its not porn leading to poor relationship quality but poor relationship quality leading to increased porn consumption.
  
  Just on a emotional level, I can't grasp how jerking off to other women while you are in a relationship is not disrespectful to the person you are in a relationship with. I understand that attraction is not controllable and being in a relationship doesn't mean you cease to be attracted to the other gender, but actively viewing pornography seems like you are further feeding into the extrapair bonding.
  
  there is a question of mismatched libidos, but I feel a compromise can be reached. If there was an open discussion on the topic.
  
  Something weird I noticed when going through the posts on reddit is, most of these anti porn in relationship posts are heavily critisized with the majority opinion leaning towards it being acceptable. With people saying that women are ""insecure"" for finding it unacceptable or that they are infringing on their bodily autonomy. What are your thoughts?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a compromise can be reached', 'relation': 'feel ', 'condition': 'If there was an open discussion on the topic'}]"
50,P0051,1redf4k,"I made a cmv post yesterday about Lucy Liu and I realised that while it made me feel bad it wasn’t actually about her birth. 
  
  I’ve noticed that nowadays a lot of asian celebrities that are specifically loved because of their looks in western spaces are literally “wasians”, aka half white half asian. For example, Kyeda, Emiru. 
  
  While kpop idols are often not mixed, they have so many surgeries done to look more eurocentric that they could call themselves mixed too.
  
  It doesn’t help that a lot of asians use a heinous amount of filters and skin whitening. Which that young people who haven’t actually interacted with asians often think we look this way, which sucks.
  
  The way I see it, people like exotic people but only when they’re as minimally exotic as possible. Like when in old movies they used white actors to portray asians, and even those asian characters were half-white! Ughh, I hate 50s Hollywood.
  
  It bothers me a lot, because I know damn well that even when I’m someone type in paper, i wouldn’t actually be their type, since I’m tan and I have no european features since I’m “fully” (hate this term) asian. My boyfriend says that he thinks I’m beautiful but sometimes I honestly think that if we didn’t know each other and if we actually had wasians where I live he might’ve went for them, and I wouldn’t blame him.","[{'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': 'might’ve went for ', 'condition': 'if we didn’t know each other '}, {'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': 'might’ve went for ', 'condition': 'if we actually had wasians where I live '}]"
51,P0052,1rei5d0,"If you're looking at your words and feeling the need to clarify your sarcastic intent, you either haven't done it effectively or you don't believe that your audience will understand it. If it's the former, you need to do a better job articulating the irony. If it's the latter, you should read the room and understand that this isn't the right audience for sarcasm.
  
  I understand that it's supposed to exist in place of a sarcastic tone, but that's operating under the assumption that the tone of someone's voice is the \*only\* way in which you can interpret someone's sarcastic intent. Also, an intrinsic element of communicating irony is allowing the listener to process it on their own. Stopping to clarify it to them robs them of the process of interpreting the intent, which is, in my opinion, the power of sarcasm in the first place.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' it effectively ', 'relation': ""either haven't done"", 'condition': ""If you're looking at your words and feeling the need to clarify your sarcastic intent""}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'your audience will understand it', 'relation': ""don't believe that "", 'condition': ""If you're looking at your words and feeling the need to clarify your sarcastic intent""}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'a better job articulating the irony ', 'relation': 'need to do ', 'condition': ""If it's the former""}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ""the room and understand that this isn't the right audience for sarcasm."", 'relation': 'should read ', 'condition': ""If it's the latter""}]"
52,P0053,1reji5d,"Okay so....is there any reason why Noem attempted to shut down TSAprecheck other than just a tantrum to hurt Americans as a punishment for defunding DHS? Because obviously shutting down TSA pre would make the problem worse, not better. As quoted in WP:
  
  *“If your goal is to process many people as efficiently as possible to limit the number of staff you need, you would actually enhance or quickly clear the TSA lines and then go to your general aviation line — so that did not make sense,” Kayyem said. “It means the division that we see between the secretary’s office and the operational experts continue.”* 
  [https://archive.is/20260224050201/https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2026/02/23/dhs-reversed-tsa-precheck-pause/](https://archive.is/20260224050201/https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2026/02/23/dhs-reversed-tsa-precheck-pause/)
  
  ...or is she really just that stupid and immature and vindictive of a person? Even the white house immediately shut it down within hours and was like ""yeah, we're not doing that"".
  
  Basically because of my personal politics and this admin's seeming approach to just want to inflict petty pain on Americans when they don't get their way, I am inclined to believe she wanted to do this policy just out of spite and anger despite it not having any productive effect.
  
  But I also try to balance my beliefs and just in case I'm in an information bubble, I'd love if anyone could provide any reasonable explanation to counter my bias. I have looked for a reason why Noem thought it would actually *help* TSA while unfunded instead of make things harder, but I haven't been able to find one.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'the TSA lines and then go to your general aviation line', 'relation': 'would actually enhance or quickly clear ', 'condition': 'If your goal is to process many people as efficiently as possible to limit the number of staff you need'}]"
53,P0054,1rek4ri,"In the Snes era Big hitter would cost around 50-70$. Guess what Modern AAA games cost the same. The price of everything goes up with inflation and people think Games should stay as the same price that they had in the 90s? And I am saying this as a 3rd world country citizen who tends to pirate games. 
  
  Now I do understand the whole ""If Buying aint Owning then Pirating aint stealing"" thing but to say this is too expensive makes me laugh with how Snes game was priced just like Modern Ps5 game. 
  
  Not only that but to compare the ratio between every other daily need of today vs game price of the 90s AND the same thing but in today's world. Mate, you have access to way much more things with a way smaller ratio. Not to mention the quality of the technology too. Imagine showing a 90s kid Elden ring, and dont tell me about Modern Bad Games. Bad Games Exist in all eras.
  
  Edit: additional point: even though online store like steam has taken the advantage of owning a physical disk of the game but on the bright side. Steam sale exist, not only does region based price is apply to games (depend of publisher), but the sale is also pretty good, things like elden ring from 60 to 36. Not counting the fact that many other games are still amazing. Things like the Arkham Trilogy, those games are amazing and cost like 5$ for the whole thing during sale. This one is a little gray area but GOG also exist. It gives all the file you need to run the game and no 3rd party launcher to check those game what so ever. You can quite literally put those file in a flash drive, give it to your friends, they copy it and that would just be a click and play on the exe file. You could also share the file via things like GG drive, etc. In this case you bought the game and all of your friends get a free copy","[{'e1': ' Big hitter ', 'e2': '50-70$', 'relation': 'would cost around ', 'condition': 'In the Snes era'}, {'e1': ' Pirating ', 'e2': 'stealing', 'relation': 'aint ', 'condition': 'If Buying aint Owning'}]"
54,P0055,1reotap,"America. 
  
  Bad. 
  
  That’s the thesis of the book. America bad, America violent and America puppet masters. The world is haunted by the angry ghosts of America’s “bloody, anti-communist crusade”. All the bad things that happened during the Cold War can be laid at the feet of America. Either do to American malice or American incompetence depending on the authors mood. 
  
  The book is a supposed history on the violent tactics of the American war machine and how they squashed the hopes, dreams and futures millions via their commitment to capitalism. 
  
  The classic example, and the inspiration for the book itself, is Indonesia’s mass killing of communists, socialists and the Left more generally in the 1960s. The USA, being the evil schemer that it is, carefully coordinated a violent purge of most left-wing movements across the country. Not because there was any threat to the government of Indonesia or because of any danger to the people, but because it threatened American interests. It was these mass killings that set the tone for America’s Cold War policies going forward and served as a model for crushing future movements. 
  
  But I ask you, who is responsible for the those killings? The Americans that weren’t there or the Indonesians that gutted, shot, stabbed, hanged, burn, drowned or buried alive their fellow countrymen? 
  
  I personally believe it’s the latter. But to Bevins, the USA is the only one that *really* could’ve made these people kill each other. We’re the Iago to the developing world’s Othello. Pouring poison and suspicion to their ears until they can’t help but lash out and kill. It doesn’t matter that Indonesia is a historically devout Muslim country. It doesn’t matter that there had been a previous uprising in Madiun by the communist party of Indonesia (PKI) in 1948 during their war of independence that did almost irreparable damage to the brand and alienated large swaths of the devoted Muslim public to the party. It didn’t matter that there was a real, it haphazardly executed coup, attempt by the Left. 
  
  All that matters is there’s a way to trace it back to the white man. 
  
  More importantly, Bevin spends almost no time reckoning with the fact that massacres were largely motivated by indigenous politics and indigenous hatreds. They weren’t waiting for the okay of global capitalism to go after them. They went after them because godless communism and godly Islam didn’t and couldn’t work together. This problem repeats itself time and time again in the book. Its a mental sleight of hand that allows authors on the Left to absolve nonwhite peoples of responsibility for bad things while also giving them agency to make good, positive decisions for their countries. 
  
  If they did bad they were coerced or fooled into it by the running dogs of imperialism, if they did good then they deserve full credit alone. 
  
  It’s a neat trick but a poor basis for a book.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'coerced or fooled into it by the running dogs of imperialism', 'relation': 'were ', 'condition': 'If they did bad'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': ' full credit alone. ', 'relation': 'deserve', 'condition': ' if they did good '}]"
55,P0056,1rerjh6,"(I will disclose that I used AI to refine and provide formatting along with help typing due to issues with my hand)
  
  Formatting is being weird because I’m on my phone. My conditions is finding any “major” city that is as influential as Worcester
  
  First thing. You mispronounced it. It’s “Wooster.” That already tells you everything you need to know about how little this city should matter on paper.
  
  Worcester is not a cultural capital. We aren’t Nashville. We aren’t Seattle. We aren’t even on the I-95 corridor. We’re a post-industrial inland city of about 200,000 people with a complicated downtown and more college students than anyone knows what to do with. By every conventional metric of what makes a music market significant, we shouldn’t be in this conversation at all.
  
  And yet for nearly a century Worcester has functioned as something genuinely rare a truth test market. A place where genres, tours, and reputations get stress tested before they’re trusted nationally.
  
  1. It’s not about the list. It’s about who kept coming back.
  
  Sinatra opened our arena on its first commercial night. Dylan has used the Palladium for tour rehearsals before major launches. Prince, Springsteen, Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Kanye, Jay Z, OutKast, Tyler the Creator, and now artists who built their entire careers on SoundCloud have all played Worcester when they had absolutely no logistical reason to. Nobody is stopping here because it’s convenient. This city doesn’t create genres. It validates them.
  
  2. The Geography Problem
  
  The standard East Coast routing is a straight line. DC, Philly, New York, Providence, Boston. Worcester is not on that line. You have to deliberately turn inland to get here, which means every single tour that stops in Worcester made a conscious choice to do so. When major artists take that detour it’s because this market has a known reputation inside the industry for showing up and reacting honestly. You don’t add mileage and logistical headache for a secondary market. You do it for a destination that you know will tell you the truth about your show.
  
  3. The Palladium as a Genre Gauntlet
  
  The building itself is part of the argument. It’s a 1928 stone theater sitting on Main Street that from the outside looks exactly like an office building. I’ve lived here my whole life and driven past it without registering it was there. The only thing announcing that one of the most respected mid-size venues on the East Coast exists inside is a modest marquee and one LED sign. There’s a donut shop next door. If you don’t already know it’s there you will never find it.
  
  For metal and hardcore the Palladium is a global gatekeeper. The New England Metal and Hardcore Festival has run annually since 1999 and functions less like a concert and more like a legitimacy test for any band serious about that world. Killswitch Engage recorded Live at the Palladium here because this room carries a weight and credibility that no polished Boston club can replicate. Lil Darkie, one of the most genuinely countercultural artists working today, called a Worcester show the best of his life. These aren’t throwaway compliments. Artists don’t talk about secondary markets that way.
  
  4. Worcester Has Repeatedly Outperformed Bigger Neighbors
  
  In 1983 KISS canceled their Providence show due to weak ticket sales and redirected to The Centrum in Worcester where demand was so strong they eventually filmed the Turn On The Night music video there. Providence is a larger and more conventionally significant market. Worcester didn’t just fill the room, it became the better story.
  
  WAAF 107.3 FM was born here and spent fifty years dominating New England rock radio without ever following Boston’s lead. It dictated regional taste, launched national careers, and shaped what an entire generation of New Englanders listened to. It took a corporate buyout in 2020 to finally silence it.
  
  The Challenge
  
  Name another American city of roughly 200,000 people that isn’t a state capital, isn’t on the I-95 corridor, isn’t the birthplace of any major genre, and yet repeatedly functions as the primary proving ground for national music scenes across nearly every genre for close to a hundred years.
  
  Akron has history. Allentown has moments. Neither has this combination of A-list gravity and scene-level authority operating simultaneously across this many decades and this many genres.
  
  Worcester shouldn’t matter this much.
  
  It does anyway.
  
  Change my view","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' it.', 'relation': 'will never find', 'condition': 'If you don’t already know it’s there'}]"
56,P0057,1rerxex,"I like to have another point of view on this since I’m not a fan of the American homeschooling experience. In some states the requirements are whatever the parents want it to be. It’s gotten to the point that children who are being homeschooled from five years old or older are lacking in education. It’s not all homeschooled children but it’s becoming more common that children aren’t getting a full education when homeschooled. Especially since parents aren’t heavily monitoring what the children are “learning” these kids will be, behind academically. Recently I heard one of my friends nephews who is currently seven or eight years old can barely get through the alphabet let alone count to twenty. He’s been homeschooled his entire life. I understand there’s some benefits to homeschooling especially since children can learn at a more advanced speed and more about the world around them. 
  
  Especially since van life kids that are technically considered “homeschooled” children won’t learn either. Children need set curriculum such as Math, English, Science, and any other subject that would help boost the child throughout life. From what I’ve seen the education for a van life child consist of cooking, cleaning, caring for their siblings, and the random stops at random places. What I believe children need is a set education that certainly portions of work must be completed within a specific timeframe. If the child/children can’t complete that work such as Math Science and English then they need to be tested. If they fail most or all their test then the child is required at least a full year of public school. 
  
  Besides children need to be around their peers in order to learn and grow. Whether it’s eight to twelve or eight to three. Children need to be checked on by a school system to confirm said child has a proper education and said child isn’t falling behind academically. I truly do feel for these kids because without a decent school system for them that child will quickly fall behind. Especially since in America parents can legally do what they want with their child and educate them as they feel.","[{'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'tested ', 'relation': 'need to be ', 'condition': 'If the child/children can’t complete that work such as Math Science and English '}, {'e1': 'the child', 'e2': 'a full year of public school. ', 'relation': ' is required at least ', 'condition': 'If they fail most or all their test '}]"
57,P0058,1res73u,"Imagine this alternative labor regime, all employment has all benefits made mobile that goes with them wherever they work, and is not dependent on the employer. Health insurance, PTO, and pay would be tied to the individual wherever they worked. Every employer would hire employees and then contribute to the employees' accounts for their benefits and the employees would be able to bank or spend their benefits as they see fit. The funds that go towards PTO and health care benefits could be in interests bearing accounts or in funds that collectively invest in T-bills and municipal bonds. The employee, not the employer, would be competed for by health insurance companies (which I would like to see states and municipal governments offer coverage like public option competing with the private sector, similar to how Germany does it) creating downward pressure on costs for health insurance which is not present when the employer chooses insurance for a captured market of their employees.
  
  These mobile benefits would grant independence to the employees and be regulated to be funded by the employers at a base level on the hourly basis, and so there wouldn't be any savings for employers to keep their employees as part-time since they are obligated to provide contributions to the employees no matter how many hours they worked. For example, health insurance needs to be 8% of the agreed wages and PTO needs to be 12% or whatever, so if the payrate is $15 an hour health benefits would be $1.20/hr and PTO would be $1.80 above the $15/hr wage. This would also liberate employees who no longer would fear leaving an employer because of health insurance.
  
  I would also provide universal SNAP benefits of $50 a month, those who qualify for more would get more, but everyone would be able to elect to add more of their pre-tax dollars to their SNAP account thereby saving themselves for taxes that they currently pay on the income they spend on groceries. This would implemented in a 2nd New Deal that would be solving the problem of widespread issue of Americans working multiple jobs rather than the social safety net built for a single breadwinner who works for only one or two employers during their career.
  
  Basically what I'm looking for to change my mind is what would be the biggest pitfalls of something like this if implemented.","[{'e1': 'health benefits ', 'e2': '$1.20/hr ', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'if the payrate is $15 an hour '}, {'e1': 'PTO', 'e2': '$1.80 above the $15/hr wage', 'relation': ' would be ', 'condition': 'if the payrate is $15 an hour '}]"
58,P0059,1reutyv,"On the internet, incels and redpillers often say that it was better to a man in the past because dating or marriage wasn't as terrible back then, and it was easier to find a woman basically. They often cite women's strict, unrealistic standards as the reason.
  
  If anything, I think that it would've been harder for men to get married or have sex in the past since you had to prove your worth to a girl's father and make him agree to let you marry her. Also, premarital sex was more looked down upon back then, so it would be harder to get sex without getting married first, unless you hired a prostitute. (Of course, some people had premarital sex anyway.) But you could still just hire a prostitute now as a man.
  
  Of course, there were arranged marriages where the family chose who they would marry for them, but this was mostly the upper classes. Commoners often married out of love or convenience like today, and they usually had choice in who they married.
  
  Basically my view is that it wasn't actually easier for men to date or have sex in the past. It's actually easier now for men than it's ever been IMO, and people are just dating and having sex less nowadays for other reasons (that people are less social now is one of them).","[{'e1': 'incels and redpillers ', 'e2': 'it was better to a man in the past', 'relation': 'often say that ', 'condition': 'On the internet '}]"
59,P0060,1rew2yt,"From what I have read in these files these people are all rich and powerful enough so that they should, in my opinion, easily be able to stop the release of things that would genuinely impact them. When you really think about it, the common people have already lost. You already have companies like Palantir, basically an plant to control everything you see (eventually, most likely) in place. I do not believe that the Epstein files and such that we see are a form of justice or an exposure of the real rich and powerful. In my opinion, this is something that is desired. I just don't know what group of people is pushing it to happen. 
  I know this is most likely just going to be considered a conspiracy theory but we live in a world where literally nobody will do anything if it does not directly affect them. This is already evident with these files. Literally every rich, powerful, and influential person is now apparently a child rapist - and nothing has happened. In my eyes, if this interconnected web of people was truly able to have such an operation and everybody was so close to one another to control the world, the Epstein Files would not have released or gained traction if it actually impacted those in power. In my opinion, these files were allowed to be released because maybe a specific group of people/country/organization wants it to happen to bring a regime change that puts them in even more power.
  
  Maybe I am just a pessimist but I don't see a reality where an already clearly turbo corrupt government would let all this information out if it actually affected the interests of those in power.
  
  Essentially, I think it is one of two options: 
  1. They quite literally do not care because these people know that nothing will happen and they do truly control the world and them being 'exposed' does not affect them
  
  2. These files are purposely \*allowed\* to gain traction and to expose these powerful people because it is for the benefit of likely someone or some group that has even more power, using the aftermath for their own benefit
  
  TL;DR if the top of the world rich and elite actually felt threatened by the Epstein files we probably wouldn't have even heard of this guy on major news networks","[{'e1': ' the common people ', 'e2': ' lost', 'relation': 'have already', 'condition': ' When you really think about it'}, {'e1': ' this', 'e2': 'something that is desired', 'relation': ' is ', 'condition': 'In my opinion'}, {'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'nobody will do anything ', 'relation': ' live in a world where literally ', 'condition': 'if it does not directly affect them'}, {'e1': 'the Epstein Files ', 'e2': 'released or gained traction ', 'relation': 'would not have ', 'condition': ' if this interconnected web of people was truly able to have such an operation and everybody was so close to one another to control the world'}, {'e1': 'the Epstein Files ', 'e2': 'released or gained traction ', 'relation': 'would not have ', 'condition': 'if it actually impacted those in power'}, {'e1': ' these files ', 'e2': 'a specific group of people/country/organization wants it to happen to bring a regime change that puts them in even more power.', 'relation': 'were allowed to be released because maybe ', 'condition': 'In my opinion'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'this guy on major news networks', 'relation': ""probably wouldn't have even heard of "", 'condition': ' if the top of the world rich and elite actually felt threatened by the Epstein files'}]"
60,P0061,1rex80u,"I see this argument made against religious people as a whole regularly whether it be Christians, muslims, Jewish etc and it doesn’t make sense to me. I’ll focus mainly on Christianity here even though I would apply the same to all religions. 
  
  Every religion has a bunch of rules and it’s just not realistic to follow them all, it’s the equivalent of saying everyone who has broke a law isn’t a good person. Not everyone is even aware of every law, some are just clearly outdated, some are hard to follow and there will be times when it is in your best interest to break the law. 
  
  But even so in Christianity Jesus died for everyone’s sins because they couldn’t stop themselves. It’s basically a part of life that everyone sins, that’s what makes them human and not gods. If I speed but refuse to kill, then I don’t think I’m some hypocrite these things just hold different weights and you can’t judge them equally. 
  
  Same would go for the bible, if someone thinks being gay is a sin but engage in premarital sex that’s not really disproving anything because being gay is a sin but also that human isn’t so above everyone else they don’t sin either.","[{'e1': ' Jesus ', 'e2': ' everyone’s sins because they couldn’t stop themselves', 'relation': 'died for', 'condition': 'in Christianity'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' I’m some hypocrite', 'relation': 'don’t think', 'condition': 'If I speed but refuse to kill'}, {'e1': ' that', 'e2': 'anything', 'relation': ' is not really disproving ', 'condition': 'if someone thinks being gay is a sin but engage in premarital sex'}]"
61,P0062,1rf02n7,"I’m tired of Reddit sleeping on the thunderous might of the apex predator known as Humanity.
  
  An average human male is over five and a half feet tall and - if reasonably fit - weighs about 160 pounds. He can stand upright, close his hand into a natural club, kick like a mule, and rotate his body to produce torque in ways no other primate can emulate. While less powerful pound for pound at direct pulling, humans have superior stamina and more importantly: vastly superior analytical ability.
  
  The average male chimp is about 100 pounds. It is superior to a human only in pound for pound pulling strength and bite force. An argument can be made that its shorter and more compact frame is better suited to grappling, but it has to drag the human to the ground for that to matter - and even then, the weight disparity remains in the man’s advantage even accounting for a pound-for-pound strength differential.
  
  Chimps have only successfully killed older people or children when acting alone, and have had mixed results mauling adult men even in packs of three or more.
  
  In a no holds barred fight, a human has many advantages at range. He can kick and stomp; a well planed kick could end the fight outright. At range, the chimp has no answer except to close distance.
  
  Closer in, the man can use one hand to grab the chimp and another to repeatedly punch its face. He can use knees and rotating elbow attacks - something a chimp cannot do at all. Alternately, a typical man is strong enough to just pick the chimp up and slam it to the ground repeatedly.
  
  He has all these advantages - without - a weapon. Put a decent sized rock or stick in the arena, and it gets even worse for the chimp.
  
  This does not mean the man will walk away clean. The chimp is more than capable of hurting the man and if it gets a good bit in might cause serious damage.
  
  But, if push comes to shove - my money is on my fellow sapien bro.","[{'e1': 'he ', 'e2': '160 pounds', 'relation': 'weighs about ', 'condition': 'if an average human male is reasonably fit'}, {'e1': 'Chimps ', 'e2': 'older people or children ', 'relation': 'have only successfully killed ', 'condition': 'when acting alone'}, {'e1': ' a human ', 'e2': ' many advantages at range', 'relation': 'has', 'condition': 'In a no holds barred fight'}, {'e1': 'The chimp', 'e2': 'serious damage.', 'relation': 'might cause ', 'condition': ' if it gets a good bit in'}, {'e1': ' my money', 'e2': 'my fellow sapien bro.', 'relation': ' is on ', 'condition': 'if push comes to shove '}]"
62,P0063,1rf4vj8,"The Epstein file story has engulfed the news media for the past month. And for a reason. The US Attorney General Pam Bondi is clearly covering up something (likely Trump) but that's not my claim here as that's been discussed enough.
  
  My claim is that the previous DOJ run by Meredith Garland could have either prosecuted people associated with Epstein's crimes or released the files. The files must be pretty much the same now as they were in 2024 as Epstein died already in 2019. In any case, they chose to do neither. 
  
  Considering that Trump must be all over the files (Jamie Raskie who saw the unredacted files, or at least part of the files, says that Trump is mentioned more than a million times) it would have been a powerful weapon in the campaign against him in 2024 and still they didn't release the files.
  
  So, something even more important reason stopped Garland. I have three theories:
  
  1. Powerful Democratic politicians are implicated in the files and for the Democratic elite it was even more important to protect them than getting Trump. Bill Clinton is the obvious one to protect and it feels a bit of stretch that he would still wield so much power over the party, but maybe it's possible.
  
  2. It was a deliberate bomb aimed at the coming Trump administration. Ok, this is a bit of a stretch, but thinking is that since Trump had promised to release the files and they knew what was in there, they wanted to dig a hole as deep as possible for him. They would attack him for the cover up from day one knowing that he'd be forced to do it and that the cover up would consume the administration for a long time. The logic here is that forcing Trump to cover up would hurt the Republicans more than releasing the files, say, in 2022. The Republicans would simply pick someone else as their candidate. 
  
  The thing that supports this theory is that Garland botched the Trump prosecutions (the Jan 6 case and the espionage case) by waiting way too long to appoint the special prosecutor, which meant that the trial never happened before the elections. It's almost like they wanted Trump to get away with it.
  
  3. There really isn't anything there there. I mean Epstein was clearly a monster and so was Maxwell, but maybe the files just don't have enough evidence to prosecute anyone else. The two arrests in the UK (the former prince Andrew and the former US ambassador Peter Mandelson) are both being charged of revealing secrets to Epstein, nothing about raping young girls.
  
  Anyway, I hope I'm wrong and someone can give a less conspiracy theory like explanation why nothing happened during 2021-2025 Biden/Garland period regarding the Epstein files and prosecutions.
  
  Edit. I don't know what I was thinking. The first name of the former AG is Merrick. Sorry, I'm not going to give deltas for pointing that out.","[{'e1': 'Powerful Democratic politicians', 'e2': 'implicated ', 'relation': ' are ', 'condition': 'in the files'}]"
63,P0064,1rf6mpj,"Right off the bat, people are going to ask what I mean by feminism. There are so many different meanings, right? 
  
  Well, yes there are and I won’t deny that some manifestations of feminism — and some self-described feminists — are toxic or obnoxious.
  
  However, I believe that the central idea - that women are intellectually and morally equal to men but that women have been systematically abused and exploited for thousands of years - is sound and just.
  
  Moreover, I think that the advent of feminism in the early Industrial Revolution illustrates that the movement, like pretty much all political developments, is primarily economic in nature. As humanity shifted from a world dominated by physical labor and subsistence agriculture to one defined by machine production, wage labor, science, and modern medicine, brute strength mattered less, large families became less economically necessary, pregnancy became safer, and contraception became possible.
  
  As a result, women are now able to rival men in economic production and are free to experiment with sex. Both developments are profoundly incongruous with our global agricultural heritage, yet were made inevitable by technological advancement.
  
  The chief arguments against feminism as I understand them are that it’s disruptive to traditional family structures, that it minimizes the struggles of men and that it has outlived its usefulness because equality has been achieved. I don’t believe any of these arguments holds up to scrutiny.
  
  Yes, feminism is challenging to established norms but so is democracy, so is liberalism and so is any technological advancement. We should not resist advancing freedom and opportunity to 50% of the population because it makes some people uncomfortable.
  
  Yes, some people do scoff at the cultural and emotional barriers that now face men — particularly young men and boys — and that is unjust. I think that is clear. But the solution is not a return to a male dominated society. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
  
  But feminism has clearly not been fully realized. We live in a world where the most powerful man on the planet bragged about sexually assaulting women and still received millions of votes after those statements were revealed, where it was uncovered that that some of the most influential men in science, technology, entertainment, academia and politics were cavorting with a sexual trafficker of young girls, and where millions, if not billions of young females are subjected to appalling physical abuse and legal discrimination across the Global South. Full equality still has a long way to go.
  
  Feminism is good, and it is still needed. Change my view.","[{'e1': ' the most powerful man on the planet ', 'e2': 'sexually assaulting women and still received millions of votes ', 'relation': 'bragged about ', 'condition': 'after those statements were revealed'}]"
64,P0065,1rf9f9j,"Hear me out: what if we made hard drugs completely legal and cheap with one caveat: you can buy it only if your doctor certifies that you have severe withdrawal symptoms.
  
  This disincentives all criminal organizzations since the whole business is based on the fact that people get hooked and would do anything to buy more.
  
  So on one side you remove the business case for criminal organizations to provide easy access to the drug and on the other side you remove risk for the already hooked to overdose and stumble upon bad cut batches.
  
  Isn't this a win win ? what am I missing ?","[{'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'hard drugs completely legal and cheap', 'relation': 'made ', 'condition': 'only if your doctor certifies that you have severe withdrawal symptoms.'}]"
65,P0066,1rfeyyu,"Here's one [video](https://youtu.be/9FSKknnTD1g?t=72) of the incident that I'm basing my view on.
  
  Everyone throwing between 1:22 and 1:24 be charged. Officers are walking away with their backs turned, clearly not consenting to being hit.
  
  Everyone throwing between 1:40 and 1:44 should be charged more significantly. Officers are retreating to their vehicle and clearly signaling and telling people to stop.
  
  The person throwing at 1:17 should not necessarily be charged, as the office is facing forward, and the ball hits the torso instead of the face. It may not be obvious that the officer is not participating in the fight. I'm willing to give the thrower the benefit of the doubt here.
  
  Doing this kind of stuff to armed officers is so incredibly stupid and dangerous for everyone. Two officers were injured.
  
  Secondly, I think Mamdani is a fucking [disgrace](https://abc7ny.com/post/nypd-snowball-fight-zohran-mamdani-doubles-down-says-people-pelted-officers-should-not-charged/18650516/) defending violence against the NYPD because he's condoning confusing them with ICE.
  
  >""I've said that what I saw was a snowball fight. It should be treated accordingly. It was one that got out of hand. But that's what it was,"" he said
  
  >""Some people were confused, I think because they thought they weren't NYPD, they were ICE, or they were working with ICE.""
  
  What I see in this footage is not a snowball fight, but agitators using the situation to attempt to legally assault officers. I believe Mamdani knows this, but is essentially lying in the name of appealing to the public.
  
  I don't think the charges should be particularly punishing, but they need to happen to send a message. I think 60 hours of community service is reasonable. I also don't think this should be a nationally noteworthy story, but Mamdani refusing to call it what it is really makes me question his judgement.","[{'e1': 'The person throwing at 1:17 ', 'e2': 'charged', 'relation': 'should not necessarily be ', 'condition': 'as the office is facing forward, and the ball hits the torso instead of the face'}, {'e1': 'Some people ', 'e2': ' confused', 'relation': 'were', 'condition': ""because they thought they weren't NYPD, they were ICE, or they were working with ICE.""}]"
66,P0067,1rffgx3,"Kids aren't being properly educated in formal logic and philosophy. Now more than ever, kids need it, to understand when they're being pumped with propaganda, or when an argument is fallacious but they spread it. Schools are places where they should be learning those skills. Schools are places to cultivate the mind. 
  
  So-called ""physical education"" teaches kids that being the biggest and meanest is how you get ahead in life. This is the attitude of a demagogue, the death of democracy. PE classes have outsized student-to-teacher ratios, meaning that coaches can't keep track of everyone even if they want to. Locker rooms are an even bigger problem in this regard. Exercise is better done in settings like dojos or tennis courts where people WANT TO BE THERE and are better supervised. 
  
  The more essential functions of PE (such as sex-ed and human anatomy) can just be put to other classes, like biology.","[{'e1': 'Kids ', 'e2': 'properly educated', 'relation': ""aren't being "", 'condition': ' in formal logic and philosophy'}]"
67,P0068,1rfn7ij,"This is a view I've only had for about an hour, so it may be easy to change! :)
  
  I've been thinking about the current polarization within the US and whether the real problem is the disagreement itself or how we assess morality, especially when there is disagreement. For this discussion, the ""teams"" I'm referring to are US political parties. I’m not arguing against political parties but rather I’m concerned that a lot of people stop using moral reasoning and instead determine morality based on what is acceptable to their team. More specifically, I'm referring to people:
  
  * Treating political affiliation as a complete moral identity 
  * Framing opponents as morally deficient rather than differently reasoned
  * Reducing complex ethical questions to black-and-white judgments, without consideration for moral principles or philosophies
  * Assuming that if something is socially acceptable within one’s group, it is therefore ethically justified
  
  For example, if someone is against a particular action when it harms their party but is for it when it harms the other party and there is no moral reasoning to explain the difference, this isn't a moral evaluation at all. History shows us that during periods of pplarization, societies sometimes justify ethically questionable actions out of fear or loyalty. I believe this wouldn't happen as much if people maintained their own moral reasoning, even if every one of their conclusions aligns with their team. I'm trying to avoid partisan examples, so some general ones could be: calling one president's pardon of a criminal moral but not pardons from another president; being OK with free speech restrictions only depending on if they help your party, excusing criminal activity from one politician and not another. Not to say there can't be moral reasoning to arrive at different conclusions in similar circumstances, but my point is that most people do not and allowing that to be commonplace weakens the structural conditions that allow democratic societies to function (acceptance of legitimate opposition, commitment to procedural rules, willingness to accept loss, recognition of shared civic membership).
  
  Ethics is a pluralistic field; there are multiple serious moral frameworks, and they often conflict in hard cases. This is something US society overall accepts, as our rules and laws don't follow a single moral philosophy. Rather, discussion and debate about moral reasoning is what caused/s evolution of rules, laws, and social norms. I believe this pluralism is necessary for democracy to be successful, but we put no focus on it as a society and in fact do the opposite by encouraging people to focus on what is socially acceptable. My view is that democracy requires pluralism. Not just diversity of people, but diversity of moral reasoning. 
  
  TLDR: Partisanship is necessary, but when moral reasoning is replaced by tribal certainty, pluralism erodes, which weakens democracy.
  
  ETA: im not comparing parties in any way or saying anything about accepting views. Im saying if you call someone/something immoral, you should back up that claim with moral reasoning.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'ethically justified', 'relation': 'is therefore ', 'condition': 'if something is socially acceptable within one’s group'}, {'e1': ' this ', 'e2': 'a moral evaluation at all', 'relation': ""isn't "", 'condition': ' if someone is against a particular action when it harms their party but is for it when it harms the other party and there is no moral reasoning to explain the difference'}, {'e1': 'societies ', 'e2': 'ethically questionable actions out of fear or loyalty.', 'relation': 'sometimes justify ', 'condition': 'during periods of pplarization'}, {'e1': 'this ', 'e2': 'as much ', 'relation': ""wouldn't happen "", 'condition': 'if people maintained their own moral reasoning'}, {'e1': 'being OK', 'e2': 'free speech restrictions', 'relation': ' with ', 'condition': ' only depending on if they help your party'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'this pluralism is necessary ', 'relation': ' believe ', 'condition': 'for democracy to be successful'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'that claim with moral reasoning. ', 'relation': 'should back up ', 'condition': 'if you call someone/something immoral'}]"
68,P0069,1rfnhwg,"I know officially they are not the fast and slow lane but I'll call them that because that's what everybody does. and also because I'm in England and the left right is switched from non- Commonwealth but the principle is consistent regardless of which side of the road one drives on. 
  
  The slow lane on the motorway is the one where people are joining the motorway from the slip road and leaving the motorway on exits and also where the slower trucks travel which are limited to a certain speed. 
  
  People are very down on ""Middle Lane hogging"" - and yes if you're going at 60 when the limit is 70 you're being an arse.
  
  BUT
  
  I think if you are going at 70 (or whatever the speed limit is) you should be allowed to just cruise in the Middle Lane. 
  
  Doing maneuvers on the motorway is one of the most dangerous parts and when collisions happen.
  
  The slow lane should be for getting on the motorway and for getting off the motorway. And you just stay there if you are going to be going below 70.
  
  The Middle Lane should be for just traveling where you are going 70.
  
  I know that the different speedometers are calibrated so that potentially one person's 's 67 is another person 70 for example.
  
  So that's what the fast lane is for. if you were behind, someone who thinks they are going 70 but is actually going 68 according to your odometer. you can overtake them in the fast. 
  
  And the fast lane can also be for all those people who want to break the speed limit.
  
  And it should be illegal for trucks to do that silly buggers maneuver where there are three of them in a row doing 60 and the next one is 62 and the next one is 64. all trying to overtake each other so that they can gain 3 minutes on their time log or whatever.
  
  Trucks should have to live in the slow lane.
  
  it's so f\*\*\*\*\*\* dangerous. just going around people and things like that on the motorway. you should just be in a straight line. pretty much your whole destination until it's time for you to get off at the exit. 
  
  This seems the most logical way of doing things to me.","[{'e1': ' you', 'e2': 'an arse.', 'relation': ' are being ', 'condition': ""if you're going at 60 when the limit is 70""}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'the Middle Lane. ', 'relation': 'should be allowed to just cruise in ', 'condition': 'if you are going at 70 (or whatever the speed limit is) '}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'there', 'relation': 'just stay ', 'condition': ' if you are going to be going below 70.'}, {'e1': 'The Middle Lane', 'e2': 'traveling ', 'relation': ' should be for just ', 'condition': 'where you are going 70.'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' them in the fast. ', 'relation': 'can overtake', 'condition': 'if you were behind someone who thinks they are going 70 but is actually going 68 according to your odometer'}]"
69,P0070,1rfoesn,"Firstly, this is purely based on the amount of files released till right now.
  
  In the emails surrounding Bill Gates, direct interactions, third party mentions and so on, many of them were more about actual business rather than pedophillia. The one draft sent by Epstein to himself, also mentions Gates sleeping with Russian ""hookers"", aka prostitutes, which is important. Yes, Bill Gates had affairs with women on the island. But the women he had affairs with were not children, they were actual adult prostitutes. As far as I remember, there was also a part about him sleeping with some ""married woman"".
  
  As I interpret Gates relation with Epstein, it goes only till business ventures. And about that email? That email was most probably written by Gates' scientific advisor, Boris Nikolak to Gates when he got fired, and Epstein got his hands on that email so he sent it to himself, saving it as blackmail material. Because the email talks about being ""fired"", which Epstein would not say to Gates. Only Boris Nikolak would be saying that to Gates, since *coincidentally* Nikolak got fired around the same time as that email was dated. Gates probably took help from Nikolak to get some Russian hookers, then Gates gets stds from one of them and unknowingly passes it on to his wife, which explains him trying to get his wife antibiotics ""without her knowledge"", so that she doesn't get to know of the affairs. Nikolak uses this to blackmail him, and Epstein further gets his hands on this email and saves it to possibly blackmail Gates later on. That's very different from pedophillia, which is a crime. But having affairs is not really one.
  
  So yeah he did cheat on his wife and have affairs, that is very immoral of him, but really I can't see the part where he *explicitly raped children*. And having affairs with hookers behind your wife's back isn't really a legal crime. The women he was having affairs with were all actual prostitutes and maybe some married woman too, since that was mentioned somewhere.
  
  As far as I've heard he did confess his affairs in the Gates Foundation recently. He talked about 2 women, maybe there could be more he had affairs with. But affairs aren't a crime unlike pedophilia. So far though there wasn't any proof of him sleeping with kids. Even in witness testimonies, there has not really been any underage victim of Epstein who said anything about Gates. Gates' photos were with actual grown up women not with kids. So I am interpreting he slept with actual prostitutes rather than kids.
  
  I am no defender of Gates though. Gates may have been involved in other criminal acts through his shady foundation, and that he's no saint, since he is guilty of associating with a sex offender. My point is merely that he did not commit pedophilia","[{'e1': ' there ', 'e2': ' a part about him sleeping with some ""married woman"".', 'relation': 'was also', 'condition': 'As far as I remember'}]"
70,P0071,1rfy3s1,"My post is about trust in relationships. For context, I am a single male in his mid 20s. This will all be hypothetical.
  
  This post first started as a concern over my girlfriend wearing revealing clothing out in public. By revealing clothing, I mean bikinis, booty shorts, fishnets, etc. especially clothing that is intentionally skimpy. I would feel uncomfortable if she wore that out in public, and I would feel the need to express my discomfort and try to convince her not to wear those sorts of clothes. Why would she even want to wear revealing clothing to begin with? Does she want to attract attention from other people? Is my love and affection not enough for her? Does she want to cheat on me? I know that controlling what she wears is considered abusive. I also know that a lot of these feelings stems from my own insecurities and anxiety. I don’t think recognizing this invalidates what I want to say.
  
  People have made posts like that before, and replies are full of empty platitudes like “you should trust her,” “she’ll get hit on anyway,” “if she wants to cheat, she will find a way.” This all means nothing. This does absolutely nothing to ease anyone’s discomfort.
  
  “You should trust her.” Why? Trust is nonsense. It is pretending that everything is okay when it may not be. At what point do you stop trusting and accept the reality of the situation for what it is. If you trust someone, and they betray you, you look like a fool. How could you not see it coming? She was doing all that, and you actually thought she gave a damn?
  
  “She’ll get hit on anyway.” Well there is a difference. If she gets hit on wearing normal clothes, that means little to nothing. If she goes out wearing a skimpy outfit, is the intention not to invite that kind of attention? What else is it? “Oh, she just wants to express herself.” What does that even mean? Express what? Her sexuality? Why should I be comfortable with that? How is that not a warning sign?
  
  “If she wants to cheat, she will find a way.” Why do people even cheat in the first place? Why can’t you just break up if you are dissatisfied? Don’t you understand how much it hurts? Please don’t cheat, and please don’t hurt anybody like that. And if she does cheat, now I’d feel like an absolute buffoon.
  
  Trust isn’t real. Love isn’t unconditional. Love is a mutual decision of respect, care, and affection. If you love someone, and they don’t love you back, you are a fool. Trust is nothing more than recognizing patterns of behavior and consistency in regard to honesty. What behaviors are you supposed to recognize as a warning? Are you supposed to have the knife in your back before you recognize the breach in trust?
  
  Edit: fixed a spelling mistake
  
  Edit: I kind of had an emotional breakdown where I felt really bad about myself. I’m sorry for behaving the way I do.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'uncomfortable', 'relation': 'would feel ', 'condition': ' if she wore that out in public'}, {'e1': ' she', 'e2': 'a way.', 'relation': ' will find ', 'condition': 'if she wants to cheat'}, {'e1': 'you', 'e2': 'a fool', 'relation': ' look like ', 'condition': 'If you trust someone and they betray you'}, {'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'little to nothin', 'relation': 'means ', 'condition': ' If she gets hit on wearing normal clothes'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'an absolute buffoon.', 'relation': 'would feel like ', 'condition': 'if she does cheat'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'a fool', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'If you love someone and they don’t love you back'}]"
71,P0072,1rg0pxr,"[Every Friday](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/wiki/freshtopicfriday), posts are withheld for review by the moderators and approved if they aren't highly similar to another made in the past month.
  
  
  
  This is to reduce topic fatigue for our regular contributors, without which the subreddit would be worse off.
  
  
  
  [See here](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/wiki/freshtopicfriday) for a full explanation of Fresh Topic Friday.
  
  
  
  Feel free to [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fchangemyview) if you have any questions or concerns.","[{'e1': ' posts', 'e2': ' the moderators and approved', 'relation': ' are withheld for review by', 'condition': "" if they aren't highly similar to another made in the past month""}, {'e1': 'Feel free ', 'e2': 'the moderators', 'relation': 'to message ', 'condition': 'if you have any questions or concerns.'}, {'e1': 'posts ', 'e2': 'the moderators and approved ', 'relation': 'are withheld for review by ', 'condition': 'Every Friday'}, {'e1': 'posts ', 'e2': 'the moderators and approved ', 'relation': 'are withheld for review by ', 'condition': ""if they aren't highly similar to another made in the past month.""}, {'e1': 'Feel free ', 'e2': 'the moderators', 'relation': 'to message ', 'condition': 'if you have any questions or concerns'}]"
72,P0073,1rghso5,"**final edit:** I've stepped back from my more extreme rhetoric below, my beliefs basically boil down to, **in areas with endangered wildlife you should not let your cats roam at all and they should be spayed/neutered and feral cat populations should be managed/culled (whatever is appropriate to the area**, looking online it seems there were some high profile extremely messy culls so I would understand anyone being against that). Cats are an invasive species to most regions on Earth, yes, including Europe. They don't fit into the environment and should be treated as such. 
  
  Working cats where there are no alternatives are one of those things that as you get older your realise it's about minimising risk rather than being a purist. I've seen comments about terriers being better for rodents but it's very dependent on the area I think. **But I still think working cats should be spayed/neutered so you don't end up with a colony of feral cats from your farm.**
  
  If you're living in a suburb of some town **I still think it's the right thing to have your cat as an indoor cat**. Every study I have read has shown that cats hunt even when fed. They hunt less than purely feral cats but that seems like a given. But yeah, I don't think it's some moral failing. **If you leave them unneutered/spayed and sell the inevitable kittens, etc. then yeah I still think that's immoral.** 
  
  I think I'm all done with chatting with people. About half the people seemed genuine but most just had variation of ""humans do more damage to the environment than cats"". Which I get... but this post is about cats, I know how much humans damage the environment, but cats are a way humans damage the environment. These arguments just annoyed me, they're not really trying to change my view they're trying to just get a ""gotcha"". I do understand that studies have been conducted using LLMs on this subreddit specifically so there is a non-zero chance (probably 100%) I've been arguing with a bunch of bots or even agreeing with a bunch of bots but anyway, it has been good, goodnight.
  
  ===================
  
  edit: this took off, will let people post a bit before replying, it feels like trying to stop a tsunami at the moment haha.
  
  EDIT 2 **Where I have conceded**: One person said they have a single barn cat for their farm. The only alternative to the barn cat to stop extremely damaging infestations of rodents would be to use pesticides which would be more damaging to the environment.
  
  EDIT 3: I don't really see many convincing attempts to change my opinion now. Just seems to be people downplaying the issue or saying it's small beans in comparison to the rest of the stuff wrong with the environment. I don't really see this getting any better so I'm going to leave it an hour or two and come back and see where things are at.
  
  Edit 4: here are some reading materials for anyone interested
  
  [https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(20)31896-0](https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(20)31896-0) : study on reducing fed cats need for predation and discussing it
  
  [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0169204621003017#ab005](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0169204621003017#ab005) : study conducted in the south east of england on cats and their average mammal/bird kills and other factors.
  
  [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5056110/](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5056110/) : discusses invasive predators (cats, rats, dogs etc. ones that follow humans) and their effect on global biodiversity loss
  
  [https://www.iamexpat.de/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/residents-west-german-town-ordered-keep-cats-inside-protect-birds](https://www.iamexpat.de/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/residents-west-german-town-ordered-keep-cats-inside-protect-birds) news article for people that consider europe a place where there are no endangered species. I know this particular case is controversial and I might not 100% agree with their methods but it's just to get people thinking.
  
  \--------------
  
  Cats are natural predators, they are also extremely efficient predators. In the US a study was conducted which concluded that outdoor domestic cats kill billions of birds and mammals yearly. Especially on island ecosystems cats wreck havoc, they have led to species becoming extinct.
  
  From a study: ""A global synthesis and assessment of free-ranging domestic cat diet"" it says: We identify 2,084 species eaten by cats, of which 347 (16.65%) are of conservation concern. Islands contain threefold more species of conservation concern eaten by cats than continents do.
  
  Legge studies cats’ impact on Australian wildlife and says they are one of the most serious threats to the continent’s biodiversity. “Cats continue to cause population decline, and more extinctions are inevitable if we don’t manage cats,” she adds. “Australia’s native fauna are not equipped to withstand predation from a versatile predator with a relatively quick reproductive rate.”
  
  One of the reasons that suburbs are some of the least biodiverse places is because cats roam them killing off birds and small mammals.
  
  Why do I think cat owners are immoral? Because it is negligent to let your cat roam free, twenty years ago I would say it would be a bit ignorant to do it but nowadays it is widely known that cats destroy ecosystems. A cat can and will survive indoors, I've seen arguments from people saying ""my munchie meows non-stop until I let him out, I could never keep him indoors"", well letting him outdoors ends up killing billions of birds annually. If you can't keep a cat indoors perpetually then you need a secure area you can let them roam around outdoors.
  
  My pet peeve: A lot of cat owners I know are also conservationist types. It feels like cognitive dissonance where these same people would go out of their way to scold someone for cutting a switchback on a trail because they're damaging the ground but then they would let their cat roam freely in the wild to wreck havoc on the local ecosystem. And it's like 90% of the environmentalists I know have cats, some of them go bird watching as well then they'll get home and let their cats in after their being out all day! It's just such a pet peeve for me and just seems wrong.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'your cats roam at all and they should be spayed/neutered and feral cat populations should be managed/culled', 'relation': 'should not let ', 'condition': 'in areas with endangered wildlife '}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'your cat as an indoor cat', 'relation': 'is the right thing to have ', 'condition': ""If you're living in a suburb of some town""}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ""that's immoral."", 'relation': 'still think ', 'condition': 'If you leave them unneutered/spayed and sell the inevitable kittens, etc'}, {'e1': ' a study ', 'e2': 'outdoor domestic cats kill billions of birds and mammals yearly', 'relation': 'was conducted which concluded that ', 'condition': 'In the US'}, {'e1': 'more extinctions ', 'e2': 'inevitable', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'if we don’t manage cats'}]"
73,P0074,1rgkhnb,"I've been on a zombie movie kick recently. While watching these movies, I couldn't help but think of how easy it would be to survive zombie ""apocalypses"" where the infection can only be spread directly through bodily fluids (primary blood/blood or blood/saliva). 
  
  First, let's talk about intelligence. Zombies mindlessly pursue human flesh - they are not cognitive peers to the uninfected. They lack the ability to solve multi-step or complex problems. If an uninfected human is taking shelter in an abandoned car, the zombie's solution is to bang on the windows until they break, rather than seek out a tool to help gain access to the vehicle (key to open the lock, rock to break the glass, etc). This makes physical barriers like doors, walls, ditches, fences, etc. extremely effective in preventing the infected from gaining access to you. Multi-story buildings could be rendered inaccessible to the infected by barricading the staircases leading up from the ground floor - something that a few residents could accomplish with the furniture from their offices or homes. Additional barriers could be erected at each floor, or to each unit, for additional security if necessary. Single-story buildings are more vulnerable, but can still be secured easily by blocking doors/windows with material that can't easily be broken through or pulled off. Even if you were caught in the open, using your superior intelligence to navigate through barriers would give you a good chance of escaping from a pursuing zombie. We can further leverage our intelligence by distracting or diverting zombies away from us, such as by setting up a speaker in an area that we want zombies to congregate in. 
  
  Next, let's talk about physical vulnerability. Zombies are susceptible to physical damage and deterioration. This is a major bonus for humanity, because even zombies that can persist until their brains are destroyed can be rendered less threatening through physical trauma. Humans in defensible positions can easily inflict such damage upon zombies - such as by throwing items from the windows of multi-story buildings onto the zombies below, or by directly attacking the zombies with weapons. Even simple, makeshift weapons that can be made out of almost anything can be used to pick away at zombies trying to gain access to secured areas. Zombies might also be susceptible to environmental and ecological factors depending on their climate - eg freezing in colder climates or being gradually picked away by insects or other pests in warmer climates. These vulnerabilities would cause the zombie population to decline rapidly after the initial outbreak, especially as military and police organizations began to respond. 
  
  Next, let's talk about protective equipment. If someone does have to venture out of their secure area, they can easily protect themselves by wearing appropriate safety equipment. If your clothing is difficult to bite through and you keep your eyes/mouth/nose/open wounds covered, you're much more likely to survive an encounter with an individual zombie or small number of zombies. This could be accomplished by wearing attire that you already own (leather jackets, glasses, etc) or by making your own ""armor"" out of what is available to you. This could be as simple as duct-taping some harder plastic or metal around yourself, or even just wearing thick enough clothing that a zombie's teeth won't penetrate through to your skin. 
  
  Lastly, let's talk about human survival. My view is that humans could control the zombie problem before we began to struggle with our own survival needs. We would only need to rely on our existing stores of food/water/medicine until the outbreak was controlled or the risk posed by zombies was reduced to the point that we could venture out in search of supplies without significant risk. Authorities could support those in areas experiencing outbreaks by redirecting supplies from areas that are already controlled.","[{'e1': "" the zombie's solution "", 'e2': 'the windows until they break', 'relation': 'is to bang on ', 'condition': ' If an uninfected human is taking shelter in an abandoned car'}, {'e1': 'Additional barriers ', 'e2': 'each floor, or to each unit, for additional security ', 'relation': 'could be erected at ', 'condition': 'if necessary.'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'themselves by wearing appropriate safety equipment.', 'relation': 'can easily protect ', 'condition': 'If someone does have to venture out of their secure area'}, {'e1': 'you', 'e2': ' an encounter with an individual zombie or small number of zombies', 'relation': ' are much more likely to survive', 'condition': 'If your clothing is difficult to bite through and you keep your eyes/mouth/nose/open wounds covered'}]"
74,P0075,1rgwssk,"Whenever I read a comic book or watch a tv show that has LGBTQ characters, they are most often a lesbian, rarely are there gay men. I think this is because, generally, men dominate cultural spaces like video games, movies, comic books or tv shows. Most men are also homophobic and if you believe in systems like the, ""patriarchy"", that would mean most media is generalized for men. 
  
  However men like lesbians and this is because they are attractive to men. A lot of men also think that lesbians can be malleable or they can be convinced to ""try men"". I've known different lesbian couples throughout my life and the stories they tell of men trying to ""get in their pants"", even when knowing they are a lesbian, is a constant. This seems like a widely shared experience. Why? Because lesbians appeal to the ""male gaze"". 
  
  Gay men do not fit into the ""male gaze"" so they get less representation in media. So whenever I see LGBTQ characters in media, that are lesbians, I have started just rolling my eyes. Because it feels too safe. I especially feel this way when these lesbian characters start having sexual scenes a lot or at least intimate moments. Because in the back of my mind I am thinking ""This is just appealing to dudes"". Or I think that if these were 2 gay men these intimate scenes would never be shown.
  
  However I wanted to post this because maybe, just maybe, my view can be changed. I feel like I am missing something so I wanted to get others perspective on this. Maybe I am not experiencing enough media with gay men and because of that my views are skewed? I'm not sure.","[{'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'most media is generalized for men', 'relation': 'would mean ', 'condition': 'if you believe in systems like the, ""patriarchy""'}]"
75,P0076,1rhh5ti,"Foreword: I understand that the United States of America is not ideologically neutral. It was founded on certain moral principles and their foreign policy reflects that to this day. To paraphrase their declaration of independence, they believe ""it is the right of the people to alter, abolish, or institute a new government as shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."" Many cynics imply that their position against communism, theocracy, and autocracy is more of a justification to cement their hegemony (e.g. 'Manifest Destiny'). There is something to that, but it is also true that they ideologically oppose such forms of governments. This is why we see Trump beginning his speech with America's interests, but ending with a promise to the Iranian people:
  
  > Finally, to the great, proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand. Stay sheltered. Don’t leave your home. It’s very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere. When we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take. This will be, probably, your only chance for generations. For many years, you have asked for America’s help, but you never got it. No president was willing to do what I am willing to do tonight. Now you have a president who is giving you what you want. So let’s see how you respond. America is backing you with overwhelming strength and devastating force. Now is the time to seize control of your destiny and to unleash the prosperous and glorious future that is close within your reach.
  > (Donald Trump's statement on Iran, February 28, 2026)
  
  I understand how, from this ideological stance, it can seem morally impermissible to concede Taiwan to China. Prominent American politicians frequently refer to the Chinese Communist Party as authoritarian, suppressing dissent, and antithetical to freedom. I am not here to argue that the Taiwanese people would prefer joining the mainland. Only that America is not omnipotent and cannot afford every war. They lost the China-backed Viet Nam War, and could not stop the China-backed People's Republic of Korea from establishing itself on the northern half of the peninsula. Whether or not America can defeat a China-backed Iran, the more important question is, can they can do it while defending Taiwan?
  
  -----
  
  First, it is necessary to establish the motives for each party in this war.
  
  1. The United States of America. I think the United Kingdom's prime minister summarized his—and his close ally's—position well:
  
  > But we have long been clear—the regime in Iran is utterly abhorrent. They have murdered thousands of their own people, brutally crushed dissent, and sought to destabilize the region. Even in the United Kingdom, the Iranian regime poses a direct threat to dissidents and the Jewish community. Over the last year alone, they have backed more than 20 potentially lethal attacks on UK soil. So it’s clear—they must never be allowed to develop a nuclear weapon.
  > (Keir Starmer's statement on Iran, February 28, 2026, translated to American English)
  
  2. Islamic Republic of Iran. I would recommend reading the Iraqi Saddam Hussein's letter to the American people. Iran and Iraq have been allies for the past few decades, and the Supreme Leader Ali Khameni's position is similar to Saddam Hussein's. A short excerpt from that letter:
  
  > Your successive administrations have killed one million and a half Iraqis in eleven years as a result of the blockade it has imposed on Iraq.
  > ...
  > Isn't it a paradox, and double standards, to accuse a citizen of fanaticism, to denounce his fanatic attitude and then to mobilize armies against him, and against the country in which he is living, on the basis of nothing but suspicions?
  > ...
  > The Arabs and Muslims did not cross the Atlantic, as invaders or aggressors. They did not colonize America. It is America that brought them all kinds of sufferings. If any of your rulers says something different, please discuss it with them. For example, if they say that they crossed the Atlantic to make sure that you get your oil supplies, tell them that oil is guaranteed by mutual interests and non-aggression, not by aggressions, killing, violating other people's rights, and destroying all sanctities.
  
  However, this excerpt would be incomplete without one last paragraph:
  
  > I know that Arabs are far from being fanatic. Do you know why? Because, God, the Almighty, assigned them with the mission of delivering the messages of all religions to humanity, and not to Arabs alone. They have fulfilled their mission, so that all Christianity is now indebted to Arabs for guiding them to Faith, which God wanted them to have when, He made it possible for them to reach you, or for you to reach them, so that you know what they believe in, and be affected by it.
  > (Saddam Hussein's *Letter to the American People*, July 7, 2006)
  
  This mindset—that their religion is the God-given truth, and anyone they conquered should be grateful for being led to the faith—is not unique to Islam. However, it is not much of a defense to say *others* are fanatic. It is also the case that, with the West's freedom regarding religion and China's domestic-focused policy, the rest of the world has toned down such fanaticism. This is why leaders in other countries look at the Saddam Hussein's and Ali Khameni's theocracies and call them fanatics and terrorist supporters.
  
  3. People's Republic of China. In a military press release last month:
  
  > Just like the mountain can never stop a flowing river from merging into the sea, the tide of history is unstoppable. Facts have proven that any attempt to contain or block China is doomed to fail. Following the principle of mutual respect, peaceful coexistence and win-win cooperation is the right approach for China and the US to deal with each other. We are willing to work with the US side to promote steady development of bilateral relations. At the same time, we will resolutely safeguard China's sovereignty, security and development interests. We hope the US side can take an objective and rational perception of China, hold the bottom line of non-conflict and non-confrontation, stop hyping up the so-called China military threat, stop inciting bloc confrontation, stop saying one thing while doing the opposite on issues concerning China's core interests, and make concrete efforts to promote sound and steady development of the mil-to-mil relationship.
  > (Jiang Bin, regular press conference on national defense, Jan 29, 2026)
  
  Also, a party line that frequently shows up in these press conferences:
  
  > The Taiwan question is China's internal affair, which brooks no external interference. No nonsense can disrupt the historical trend that China will eventually and inevitably be reunified.
  
  
  -----
  
  These are the three main parties' motivations. The USA wishes to defend Taiwan against China, Israel against Iran, and the rest of the world (in particular the West) against the threat of terrorism backed by a nuclear-capable Iran. The Iranian regime wishes to have nuclear capabilities—which they publicly claim as for power plants—and for the USA to stop Israel and oil colonialism in the Middle East. The PRC wishes to unify with the ROC while maintaining a reputation of civility. This had led to the following:
  
  1. Iran working on nuclear capabilities.
  2. The USA air-striking their nuclear facilities (Jun 22, 2025) and embargoing Iran (Sep 2025).
  3. Iran undergoing economic difficulties, leading to protests and a violent quelling by the regime (Jan 2026). Also, continuing to work on nuclear capabilities.
  4. The USA launching more strikes, this time on government facilities (Feb 28, 2026).
  5. China negotiating arms deals with Iran (2020s).
  
  China is ideologically opposed to the Iranian theocracy, perhaps more so than the USA. However, as long as the USA remains belligerent on the Taiwan issue, it can make strategic sense to supply arms to an enemy of America. This:
  
  1. Weakens the USA, forcing them to divert resources away from Taiwan.
  2. Helps them better understand America's capabilities.
  3. Bolsters their reputation as a voice of reason and ally to countries wronged by American imperialism.
  
  I do not believe America can afford to embroil themselves in a China-backed Iranian conflict. Their reputation has already taken a substantial hit among their European allies. Their weapons systems have yet to adapt to drone warefare; in the Houthi conflict and the Iranian drone attack on Israel, they spent million-dollar missiles to shoot down thousand-dollar drones. Their manufacturing base is atrophying, their education system is collapsing, and their domestic issues are exacerbating. Finally, the change of wording in their national defense strategy suggests they are more willing to concede Taiwan—or less able to hold it. Compare their 2025 and 2026 reports:
  
  > (Jan 2025) In the long term, maintaining American economic and technological preeminence is the surest way to deter and prevent a large-scale military conflict. A favorable conventional military balance remains an essential component of strategic competition. There is, rightly, much focus on Taiwan, partly because of Taiwan's dominance of semiconductor production, but mostly because Taiwan provides direct access to the Second Island Chain and splits Northeast and Southeast Asia into two distinct theaters. Given that one-third of global shipping passes annually through the South China Sea, this has major implications for the U.S. economy. Hence deterring a conflict over Taiwan, ideally by preserving military overmatch, is a priority. We will also maintain our longstanding declaratory policy on Taiwan, meaning that the United States does not support any unilateral change to the status quo in the Taiwan Strait. We will build a military capable of denying aggression anywhere in the First Island Chain.
  
  > (Jan 2026) President Trump seeks a stable peace, fair trade, and respectful relations with China, and he has shown that he is willing to engage President Xi Jinping directly to achieve those goals. But President Trump has also shown how important it is to negotiate from a position of strength—and he has tasked DoW \[the Department of War\] accordingly. Consistent with the President's approach, DoW will therefore seek and open a wider range of military-to-military communications with the People's Liberation Army (PLA) with a focus on supporting strategic stability with Beijing as well as deconfliction and de-escalation, more generally. But we will also be clear-eyed and realistic about the speed, scale, and quality of China's historic military buildup. Our goal in doing so is not to dominate China; nor is it to strangle or humiliate them. Rather, our goal is simple: to prevent anyone, including China, from being able to dominate us or our allies—in essence, to set the military conditions required to achieve the NSS goal of a balance of power in the Indo-Pacific that allows all of us to enjoy a decent peace.
  
  Given the trajectories the USA and PRC are on, there are a few plausible scenarios for the next decade:
  
  1. The US intermittently airstrikes Iran until they finally build nuclear capabilities and nuke America.
  2. A US-backed Taiwan preemptively strikes China in the next couple years. China fights a drawn-out war, but ultimately their manufacturing capabilities beat out America's stockpile of weapons.
  3. The US invades a China-backed Iran. A few years later, China invades Taiwan. The US either fights a losing war, or completely gives up Taiwan.
  4. The US immediately concedes Taiwan, giving any Taiwanese who wish American citizenship. In exchange, China makes Taiwan a special administrative region for a few decades and supports the US invasion of Iran.
  
  Notice how I am not modeling Iran as a potentially reasonable party here. I have met fundamentalists of various religions and they are generally too dogmatic to compromise on issues like, ""I would prefer living as not a Catholic/Hindutva/Shiite"". The closest you can really get them to agree to is, ""well, it's unfortunate that I don't have the power to kill or forcibly convert you right now, but at least you will be tortured for eternity later."" I would prefer not to make this a debate about whether people are *actually* this fanatic; they are, but unless you have grown up very close to such a culture it can be hard to believe. However, if there is evidence that the Supreme Leader of Iran can be reasoned with—not that they say they can be reasoned with, but that someone has successfully negotiated with them to compromise on their religious principles in the past—that would be useful in modeling Iran better. That way, we can ask what other moves the USA could make to guarantee safety from nuclear terrorism. Unfortunately, the only guarantee is an alleged [fatwa](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Khamenei%27s_fatwa_against_nuclear_weapons) on the use of nuclear weapons, which
  
  1. Is not necessarily a prohibition on their creation and dissemination (could be taqiyya).
  2. The justification, ""we will absolutely not do this because of our beliefs,"" as if ideological commitment is enough of a guarantee does not give much hope for ideological flexibility in other areas.
  3. Religious interpretations can be reevaluated. Several senior Iranian officials, including a prominent nuclear physicist, have made statements to this effect. ""According to the Leader’s opinion, going in this direction is now forbidden, because he is a religious authority; \[but\] maybe he will change his opinion tomorrow"" (Mahmood-Reza Aghamiri, [Reported by Iran International News](https://www.iranintl.com/en/202501076906)). Also, as I was writing the previous sentence, it came out that Khameni was killed. The new leader may not come to the same interpretation.
  
  This is why I think it is best to model Iran as a country that is more ideologically committed than America. America could give up on Viet Nam and Korea, eventually. I am suggesting it abandon Taiwan, and I think it could do so despite its ideological preferences. I think Iran is less compromising on ideological principles, and will continue to work towards a nuclear weapon and disseminate it for use against Israel or the USA unless they are physically incapable of it.
  
  So, under this model, the US must intervene in and probably invade Iran. If they do so while denying China's unification with Taiwan, then China is motivated to ""feed the crazy"". Will the US lose against Iran? Not really. But it will be enough of a distraction for them to lose their strategic interests in the South China Sea. Either way, the US will lose control of Taiwan, which is why I suggest they amicably hand it over today in exchange for concessions and to prevent an unnecessary war.
  
  -----
  
  Now, these are the strongest opposing arguments I am anticipating:
  
  **1. Taiwan's chip manufacturing is so important to US strategic interests in the next few years that it is worth worsening relations with China, up to and including a war in the near future.**
  
  In particular, artificial intelligence is on a trajectory to be massively useful economically and militarily in the next couple years. Some believe it has already surpassed the average human intelligence, or will do so in a few years, but even barring that, reinforcement learning, video, and world models require an immense amount of compute and GPU futures are continuing to rise in price. The ability to train robots to do physical tasks or drones in simulated combat requires that compute, and only Taiwan produces it.
  
  I think this is mostly true, but it misses China's capabilities. Their state-of-the-art is around half a year behind America's. America has to gamble that (1) the critical six-month window happens before China invades Taiwan (2) China does not recognize the critical window and sabotage Taiwan's chip manufacturing (3) China's AI capabilities do not catch up. (1) seems plausible depending on AI timelines, but I think it is best to model China as smarter than the US on an individual and systemic level, so I find it difficult to believe (2) and (3) will hold.
  
  **2. America is too ideologically committed to defending Taiwan.**
  
  While the national defense strategy report implies they may be open to giving up Taiwan, it could also be a meaningless gesture of goodwill to China. While they ended up withdrawing from Viet Nam, and not pushing further into the People's Republic of Korea, it was only after drafting millions of soldiers and years of fighting. The USA has historically been very ideologically committed to defending ""the rule of the people"" (democracy) from authoritarian governments. The American people will be unwilling to abandon Taiwan to another authoritarian government—and that is what they believe the PRC to be. Whether reality agrees with their beliefs, whether or not they actually can defend Taiwan, they will not give it up without trying.
  
  I find this plausible. A large number of Americans will question why their government would abandon Taiwan so easily. However, I think they would mostly just be questions. The current administration's support base is rather isolationist in terms of culture and foreign policy. Their focus is mostly on internal issues—like stemming immigration—and they care less about foreigners, especially Chinese foreigners after the COVID-19 pandemic. The opposition party is splintered, but can mostly unify on issues like social welfare and the abuse of presidential powers. I do not think there would be many protests in favor of Taiwan when there are already daily protests on several other issues.
  
  So, the American leaders could get away with abandoning Taiwan, at least domestically. Internationally, NATO and Ukraine may trust their security guarantees even less than they do now, but given the pretty apathetic response to Trump's declaration last year (on increasing military funding, perhaps 'securing' Greenland for them), I do not think Trump or the American leaders particularly care. The question is then, is the political class ideologically committed to defending Taiwan?
  
  We have seen their ideological commitment to defending Israel; Kamala Harris, the runner-up from the opposition party, pretty much lost the election because she and her party leaders were pro-Israel (unlike much of her voter base). However, I think Israel is unique in that (1) Christians and Jews are more culturally similar than Taiwanese and Americans (2) it helps secure America's oil interests in the MIddle East (3) the countries surrounding Israel state intentions of genocide, while modern Taiwanese are ethnically Chinese and China repeatedly affirms it wants a peaceful unification. It is true that control of Taiwan helps secure America's economic interests in the South China Sea, but other than chip manufacturing, those interests are mainly manufacturing from China itself. Culturally, Israel has stronger ties to America than Taiwan, and worse prospects without America's support, so it is less ideologically necessary to defend Taiwan. Given that Donald Trump struck a deal with Kim Jong Un in his first term, and continues to negotiate with Vladimir Putin in his second term, I think it is plausible that he can come to the negotiating table with Xi Jinping on Taiwan.
  
  -----
  
  TLDR; The USA's actions over the past year show they have interests in striking and potentially invading Iran. I think it is a blunder to do so without negotiating with China on Taiwan.","[{'e1': 'Your successive administrations ', 'e2': 'one million and a half Iraqis ', 'relation': 'have killed ', 'condition': 'in eleven years'}, {'e1': 'China ', 'e2': '""feed the crazy""', 'relation': 'is motivated to ', 'condition': "" If they do so while denying China's unification with Taiwan""}, {'e1': ' the Iranian regime ', 'e2': 'a direct threat to dissidents and the Jewish community', 'relation': 'poses ', 'condition': 'in the United Kingdom'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'more than 20 potentially lethal attacks on UK soil.', 'relation': 'have backed ', 'condition': ' Over the last year alone'}, {'e1': ' please discuss', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': ' it with ', 'condition': 'If any of your rulers says something different'}, {'e1': 'tell them ', 'e2': ""oil is guaranteed by mutual interests and non-aggression, not by aggressions, killing, violating other people's rights, and destroying all sanctities."", 'relation': 'that ', 'condition': ' if they say that they crossed the Atlantic to make sure that you get your oil supplies'}, {'e1': 'The US ', 'e2': 'Iran ', 'relation': 'intermittently airstrikes ', 'condition': 'until they finally build nuclear capabilities and nuke America.'}]"
76,P0077,1rhiorg,"The 2001 AUMF expressly authorizes force against any nation, organization, or person that planned the 9/11 attacks ""or harbored such organizations or persons"".
  
  In 2015, the Islamic Republic of Iran decided to allow al-Qaida to establish a new operational headquarters inside Iran, on the condition that al-Qaida operatives abide by the regime’s rules. Iran's MOIS and IRGC provided safe havens and logistical support to Al Qaeda, including passports and ID cards. 
  
  Tehran allowed al-Qaida to fundraise, to freely communicate with al-Qaida members around the world, and to perform many other functions that were previously directed from Afghanistan or Pakistan.
  
  These ties - and much more - were revealed in January 2021 by Secretary of State @MikePompeo in a speech career diplomats and I helped develop and declassify.
  ge.usembassy.gov/the-iran-al-qa…
  
  That support continued even after public exposure and even the Taliban took over Afghanistan. It was validated repeatedly by the Biden administration, as recently as February 2024, and by the United Nations. The State Department told @IranIntl_En that Iran continues to allow al-Qaeda to facilitate its terrorist activities, a key communication channel to transfer funds and fighters to South Asia, Syria, and elsewhere.
  iranintl.com/en/202402273383
  
  Al-Qaeda's continued presence in Iran, and the Islamic Republic's support for Al Qaeda, provide full legal basis under the 2001 AUMF for ""all necessary and appropriate force...in order to prevent any future acts of international terrorism against the United States by such nations, organizations or persons.""
  
  Critics may complain that few current members of Congress voted for the 2001 AUMF. That is just as irrelevant as if I said the Civil Rights Act of 1964 or the Clean Water Act of 1972 were invalid for similar purposes. Laws do not become invalid with age.
  
  Moreover, the 2001 AUMF has survived repeated and recent attempts at repeal. In June 2019, the House voted 138-285 to reject its repeal. In March 2023, the Senate voted 9-86 to reject Rand Paul's attempt to repeal it. Many other attempts have been killed at the Committee level.
  
  Multiple efforts to tie the President's hand against military action with Iran with funding prohibitions have likewise been proposed and failed. Congress repeatedly rejected these amendments in 2019 and 2020. In June 2025, the Senate rejected an effort to restrict military action with Iran.
  
  Congress has had 25 years to limit the scope of the 2001 AUMF. Instead, they have consciously decided to preserve the President's rights under the law to pursue international terrorists to the end of the earth. And today, the Islamic Republic of Iran is the world's leading state sponsor of terrorism and the headquarters of Al-Qaeda.
  
  So when members of Congress from @AOC to @SenTimKaine say that the current strikes of Congress are illegal, please point them to this post.","[{'e1': ' the Islamic Republic of Iran ', 'e2': ' al-Qaida to establish a new operational headquarters inside Iran', 'relation': 'decided to allow', 'condition': 'In 2015'}, {'e1': 'the Islamic Republic of Iran ', 'e2': ' al-Qaida to establish a new operational headquarters inside Iran', 'relation': 'decided to allow', 'condition': 'on the condition that al-Qaida operatives abide by the regime’s rules'}, {'e1': ' the House ', 'e2': '138-285 to reject its repeal', 'relation': 'voted ', 'condition': ' In June 2019'}, {'e1': ' the Senate ', 'e2': ""9-86 to reject Rand Paul's attempt to repeal it "", 'relation': 'voted ', 'condition': 'In March 2023'}, {'e1': 'Many other attempts', 'e2': 'killed ', 'relation': ' have been ', 'condition': 'at the Committee level.'}]"
77,P0078,1rhj74i,"I don’t deny that executives do a play a huge role in determining the general direction of a club but ultimately it is the players who win and lose the game. Fans don’t care to see some sixty something billionaire raise the trophy. Most fans have no idea who they are and if they do very few fans will have a favorable opinion of them. 
  
  The players are the ones who win the game and as such should be the ones to first celebrate with the trophy. Give execs a chance to have their time with it while the players are doing their post game media obligations.","[{'e1': ' executives', 'e2': ' a huge role ', 'relation': ' do play', 'condition': 'in determining the general direction of a club'}, {'e1': ' very few fans ', 'e2': 'a favorable opinion of them. ', 'relation': 'will have ', 'condition': 'if they know the execs'}]"
78,P0079,1rhktko,"This is not arguing that is morally right, but lukewarm indifferent towards its implication for society. People have sexual needs they'd like to spend more time chasing, and what better way that intercourse with a person that will not punished by the state? People need to make money, and OF or online content in only a single step away from creating a capital boom--a net positive for economics. However, not to completely derail this from the HUMAN factor, and definitely not advocating for the first ""profession"" in civilization, the only obstacle that comes from it is a religious/""ethical"" angle. The same could be said for abortion, homosexuality, and pre-marital sex. It has undoubtedly persisted past the cotton gin, feudalism, and the wheel, showing it's persistent role in society. If humans found it abhorrent, the profession have dissipated long before we started forming empires.
  
  Presenting potentially counter argument: ""Yes, but so have wars, human atrocities, mercenaries, and child predators.""
  
  First off, if you equate prostitution with any of those darker sides of humanity--check yourself. Two adults agreeing on a mutual agreement through sex soars above people like Epstein. They've only been placed together because religious society has equated them as such. Liberalism has also advocated against it because of the horror stories from personal account, and while albeit true that it has lead to some dark turns--if openly practiced and supervised, it'd be unlikely that incidents aforementioned would be much closer to zero.
  
  If intercourse was regulated, taxed, and unionized--it'd be no different than wanting to kill yourself for working at a gas station (disregarding the carnal element). Granted, exploitation occurs--but say that to any other field and your left in the dust. If kept within the rule of law, prostitution should set alongside adult stores, pornographic theatres (not that old), and Only Fans.
  
  I'm a 32 year old man, not an edgy teenager for reference, and would I personally use it if set in the given parameters? Absolutely.
  
  Edit; for those who downvote without argumentative retort, I'll take it as a concession of you cannot defend your stance.","[{'e1': 'the profession ', 'e2': 'we started forming empires.', 'relation': 'have dissipated long before ', 'condition': 'If humans found it abhorrent'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'incidents aforementioned would be much closer to zero.', 'relation': 'would be unlikely that ', 'condition': 'if openly practiced and supervised'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'kill yourself for working at a gas station', 'relation': 'would be no different than wanting to ', 'condition': 'If intercourse was regulated, taxed, and unionized'}, {'e1': ' prostitution ', 'e2': 'adult stores, pornographic theatres (not that old), and Only Fans.', 'relation': 'should set alongside ', 'condition': 'If kept within the rule of law'}]"
79,P0080,1ri3vos,"After Vietnam, the national mood was genuinely anti-war. The ""Vietnam Syndrome"" was a real thing politicians talked about openly. There was this widespread belief that Americans would never again tolerate a long, messy, overseas conflict with murky goals and mounting body bags. And for a while, that seemed true. The political establishment tip-toed around major deployments for about a decade and a half.
  
  Then September 11th happens, and suddenly Afghanistan isn't even a debate. Iraq comes along two years . Where was the Vietnam Syndrome? Gone. Evaporated. 
  
  Here's the thing people miss when they say ""we learned our lesson."" They're treating war opposition like it's a permanent personality trait of the electorate. It's not. It's a mood and a team. And moods shift with teams. If your guy starts a conflict, you support it because you support him. If the other guy opposes it, you support the war even harder because screw that guy.
  
  Every new war gets sold as not being like the last one. Iraq wasn't going to be Vietnam because of precision weapons and shock-and-awe. So when we hear ""Iran is not Iraq"" a huge portion of people are going to listen. Even if it seems illogical and contrary to past promises and claims. Because they want to beleive it.","[{'e1': ' the national mood ', 'e2': 'anti-war.', 'relation': 'was genuinely ', 'condition': 'After Vietnam'}, {'e1': 'that ', 'e2': 'TRUE', 'relation': 'seemed ', 'condition': 'for a while'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': ' it because you support him', 'relation': 'support', 'condition': ' If your guy starts a conflict'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'the war even harder because screw that guy.', 'relation': 'support ', 'condition': 'If the other guy opposes it'}]"
80,P0081,1ri6ngr,"since the Obama administration there has been essentially a constant narrative in the press and public that america cant win wars, any military action attempted will inevitably go wrong, and the us military can be beaten by farmers with sticks. thats now been very throughly disproven.
  
  no matter what you think of the morality or legality of the iran war, you have to admit its been incredibly sucessful for the americans. in 24 hours the US military shattered decades of iranian air and naval power, killed the supreme leader, and annihilated the command structure. while its still very unclear if the iranian people will successfully rise up against the government, its become very clear that there is nothing anyone can do to even seriously impede the american military. 
  
  and this is the second government in 2 months the us has dismantled. were starting to see memes joking about who the us is going to overthrow in march and april. Venezuela and Iran were both supposed to be huge threats that the us couldn't deal with militarily. Venezuela was supposed to be Vietnam 2, and iran was supposed to be worse Afghanistan. but yet that is not whats happening. Venezuela was wrapped up in a few hours and Iranian forces are utterly shattered. i was one of the people who thought Venezuela was going to be a bloodbath, and that iran was naturally invincible, but now its very clear, No matter whats happened to americas public image or soft power, the US can blow down any door in the world.","[{'e1': ' there ', 'e2': 'a constant narrative in the press and public that america cant win wars, any military action attempted will inevitably go wrong, and the us military can be beaten by farmers with sticks', 'relation': 'has been essentially ', 'condition': 'since the Obama administration'}, {'e1': ' there ', 'e2': 'a constant narrative in the press and public that any military action attempted will inevitably go wrong', 'relation': 'has been essentially ', 'condition': 'since the Obama administration'}, {'e1': ' there ', 'e2': 'a constant narrative in the press and public that the us military can be beaten by farmers with sticks', 'relation': 'has been essentially ', 'condition': 'since the Obama administration'}, {'e1': ' the US military', 'e2': 'iranian air and naval power', 'relation': ' shattered decades of ', 'condition': ' in 24 hours'}, {'e1': ' the US military', 'e2': 'the supreme leader', 'relation': 'killed ', 'condition': ' in 24 hours'}, {'e1': ' the US military', 'e2': 'the command structure', 'relation': 'annihilated ', 'condition': ' in 24 hours'}, {'e1': 'this', 'e2': 'the second government the us has dismantled', 'relation': ' is ', 'condition': ' in 2 months'}, {'e1': 'Venezuela ', 'e2': 'wrapped up', 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': ' in a few hours '}]"
81,P0082,1ri6vxn,"It's clear to me that many of our leaders (on both sides) do not understand the real cost of war. They treat it like a video game that is played from their situation rooms with no respect for the lives that are put at risk and the real world consequences that tend to follow.
  
  I simply do not see why military service is not a prerequisite to hold a position in which you have the power to start a war. Everyone in that position should have been through military service in their real life.
  
  If after that, they still believe war to be the best path, well then at least I will trust that they understand the cost and still believe it necessary.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'they understand the cost and still believe it necessary.', 'relation': 'will trust that ', 'condition': 'If after that, they still believe war to be the best path'}]"
82,P0083,1riavh2,"I can't stop thinking about this.
  
  I feel like nothing is important. And I can't move on from this perspective. The only future I see is a bleak, dark one.
  
  There is no permanent win in life. Every battle will lead to another. And we don't win them all, so we all keep moving forward and backward... And at the end, we will all be gone, like it meant nothing.
  
  Why and how people find the force to fight ? In my perspective, we are all doomed by our condition. We are governed by dumb people who found the key to sit on everyone's faces. And it always has been. It's in our code, to tear off what we need from other.
  
  I progressively hate everyone, me included, for being dumb living things who can't go beyond what we are. We are unable to create a better world and a better future.
  
  Without wanting, I grew up by learning myself to be a shadow. I never take position, because I can't. I don't know what to think, there is no ""right"" or ""wrong"" in this world, just ways of thinking. The simple fact there is no ""ultimate truth"" scares me a lot. I have nothing to follow, the void is everywhere around us.
  
  Also, I'm a shadow because I fear everyone. Everyone I hear seems confident enough to spread their opinions. I'm always scared that I might say something clumsy that will cause anger to the people I speak with. And I don't understand how people can shout at each other and continue their day just after, like it was absolutely normal.
  
  I want to get out of these thoughts and be happy, but every step in this direction leads me to a huge feeling of lying to myself and to the world. I don't want to be like the others, tearing off anything I can and possibly cause harm. I really don't like to take risks, I'm too scared for this, to be harmed in any ways in return. But I can't move forward in my life if I don't do this, because that's just the rules.
  
  So, if you have any idea how can I change my mind, I'm really interested.","[{'e1': ' we ', 'e2': ' gone', 'relation': 'will all be', 'condition': 'at the end'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'our condition', 'relation': 'are all doomed by ', 'condition': 'In my perspective'}]"
83,P0084,1rib3d1,"I’d like to preface this by saying I’m speaking in a strictly cosmetic sense because I know there’s people who need it for medical reasons etc and I don’t have an issue with that. What I’m more so talking about is the toxic culture of vanity and “looksmaxxing” for lack of a better term that’s generally harmful to people and society. We see this especially in adolescents who sometimes go to extreme legal to be perceived as attractive to the point that it’s detrimental to themselves and people around them (for example, clavicular and those types). Also, 90% of the time when people get cosmetic surgery they just end up looking worse imo. If more people were accepting of themselves than the cycle of judgement and insecurity could stop being perpetuated. I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy for thinking this.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'worse ', 'relation': 'just end up looking ', 'condition': '90% of the time when people get cosmetic surgery'}, {'e1': 'the cycle of judgement ', 'e2': ' perpetuated', 'relation': ' could stop being', 'condition': 'If more people were accepting of themselves'}, {'e1': 'insecurity', 'e2': 'being perpetuated', 'relation': ' could stop being', 'condition': 'If more people were accepting of themselves'}]"
84,P0085,1ridi56,"Just a couple weeks ago the Iranian government was shooting protestors. They were working toward nuclear weapons and actively funded dozens of militias across the middle east with the intent of undermining the United States, Israel and other western powers. 
  
  That's not to say I think US or Israeli regime change operations are always a good thing, I consider the US installment of the Shah to be a disastrous move that ultimately led to this conflict. (And pushed Iran toward fundamentalist extremism.) 
  
  I also do not generally support Israel, I think their treatment of Palestinians is horrible. However I do think that it is wrong for Iran to fund or prop up organizations like Hamas which orchestrated Oct 7. (And that by extension they have caused suffering to Gazans and many others across the middle east by supporting oppressive theocratic militias across the ME which have made the lives of ordinary people miserable through conflict)","[{'e1': ' the Iranian government', 'e2': ' protestors', 'relation': ' was shooting', 'condition': 'Just a couple weeks ago'}, {'e1': 'They ', 'e2': ' nuclear weapons ', 'relation': 'were working toward', 'condition': 'Just a couple weeks ago'}, {'e1': 'They ', 'e2': 'dozens of militias across the middle east with the intent of undermining the United States, Israel and other western powers. ', 'relation': 'actively funded ', 'condition': 'Just a couple weeks ago'}]"
85,P0086,1ridr1v,"The killing of Grand Ayatollah Khamenei will trigger a response from his followers. This is not at all like deposing Maduro, Hussain, or even the assassination of Bin Laden. To a significant percentage of the 200-400 million Shia Muslims in the world, and the 300-900k in the US, the Ayatollah wasn't just a president, or a dictator. He was chosen by God, by Allah. We should expect the most dogmatic of his followers, the thousands here in the US and the millions worldwide, to seek vengeance, and it will not be soothed by a ""deal"" with any western powers. In fact, any potential successors who strike a deal that leaves retaliation off the table will immediately be dismissed, and the rogue leaders throughout the world who see failure in the Iranian governors seeking to succeed Khamenei will seek to carry out this ""divine"" justice by any means necessary.
  
  For at least 25 years - since 9/11 - the biggest risk with attacking Iran was not about oil or ballistic missiles, whether or not they carried nuclear capabilities. The actions of the state of Iran, while certainly carrying serious implications for the world, were nowhere near as big a deterrent as the potential for widespread, nuclear fueled terrorism carried out by rogie Shia zealots who have already acquired the state's intelligence to carry out acts of mass destruction that more easily evade American counter-intelligence.
  
  The smart thing for many Americans near military or symbolically significant civilian targets would be to distance ourselves from those targets, but when that involves uprooting families that often requires a lot of certainty. So I'm asking the cmv community to be the red team for those of us in vulnerable situations. I sincerely welcome the arguments that would spur, at the very least, delay of decisions that otherwise seem incredibly urgent.","[{'e1': 'the biggest risk with attacking Iran ', 'e2': 'oil or ballistic missiles', 'relation': 'was not about ', 'condition': 'For at least 25 years - since 9/11'}]"
86,P0087,1rie9p4,"I believe the debate over whether President Trump has formal, explicit congressional authorisation for military actions regarding Iran is meaningless.
  
  
  While I acknowledge that Congress has not passed a formal declaration of war or a specific Authorization for Use of Military Force within the practical realities of the American system this is not required as there is no mechanism to stop him without congress explicitly dissapproving it.
  
  Here is why I hold this view:
  
  **The Inaction Mechanism:** The U.S. system provides mechanisms for Congress to halt military action, most notably the War Powers Resolution of 1973. If a majority of Congress genuinely disapproved of the action, they could initiate these mechanisms to force a withdrawal. The choice *not* to invoke these tools is, in practice, a choice to allow the action to proceed.
  
  **Approval by Inertia:** In the American political system, inaction constitutes acceptance. By not passing legislation to explicitly disapprove of the military action, Congress is delegating the decision-making power to the Executive branch. They have the means to stop it they just are choosing not to. 
  
  **Purpose of the Debate:** The debate over ""formal authorization"" is often used as political theater by members of Congress who disagree with the action rhetorically because it is politically unpopular but in actuality support what is happening. The only functional check on presidential power in this context is a vote to stop it, which is not happening.
  
  Simply put if Congress has the power to stop a war and chooses not to, they are approving it.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': ' these mechanisms to force a withdrawal', 'relation': 'could initiate', 'condition': 'If a majority of Congress genuinely disapproved of the action'}, {'e1': 'inaction', 'e2': 'acceptance', 'relation': ' constitutes ', 'condition': 'In the American political system'}, {'e1': 'Congress ', 'e2': 'the decision-making power to the Executive branch', 'relation': 'is delegating ', 'condition': 'By not passing legislation to explicitly disapprove of the military action'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'it.', 'relation': 'are approving ', 'condition': ' if Congress has the power to stop a war and chooses not to'}]"
87,P0088,1rienzc,"I feel like the the argument amongst many online since Harris lost in 2024 has boiled down to the idea that party needs to move in a new direction fully: either all the way to the center or far to the left on everything.
  
  I have felt this is an oversimplification of things and misses part of the reason Trump himself succeeded initially.
  
  When Trump ran in 2016, he went far to the right on things such as immigration. But he also went to the left on messaging with issues such as social security, Medicare and other social programs popular with his rural and working class supporters. Ironically, a [Gallup](https://news.gallup.com/poll/196064/trump-seen-less-conservative-prior-gop-candidates.aspx) showed voters saw him as a more moderate GOP nominee than previous ones at the time.
  
  So rather than shift the entire platform of the party in one direction, I think the smart move is to move in different directions on each issue from the economy to immigration and beyond. And an even bigger thing is just use smarter messaging for things that are progressive in ways that appeal to swing and moderate voters, like Trump has messaged more classic conservative things like tax cuts for the rich as populist and for the people. What do you think?","[{'e1': ' he ', 'e2': 'the right on things such as immigration.', 'relation': 'went far to ', 'condition': 'When Trump ran in 2016'}]"
88,P0089,1rif499,"I've seen quite a few claims recently that LLM-based systems such as ChatGPT or [Project Vend](https://www.anthropic.com/research/project-vend-1) are not ""really"" AI.
  
  This confuses me, because ""AI"" has traditionally been a field of computer science that includes vastly simpler and less ""intelligent"" algorithms; for instance, as far as I know, it's relatively uncontroversial to refer to the chess-algorithm Deep Blue as an ""AI"".
  
  Of course, in popular culture, AI often refers to androids or computers with human-like intelligence, as in _2001: A Space Odyssey_ or _Blade Runner_. Such things, if they existed, certainly would fall under the umbrella of ""AI"", but we also have a more specific term for them now, ""Artificial General Intelligence"" or ""AGI.""
  
  I am fully in agreement that LLMs are not ""AGI"". But they are definitely ""AI"" in the traditional sense used in computer science. Wikipedia (currently) has the following definition:
  
  >Artificial intelligence (AI) is the capability of computational systems to perform tasks typically associated with human intelligence, such as learning, reasoning, problem-solving, perception, and decision-making.
  
  Note that this definition does not require the system to be ""actually intelligent"" in any philosophical sense: its only criterion is that the systems can *perform tasks* that are ""associated with"" human intelligence. And LLM systems certainly do such tasks: most obviously, they produce reasonably coherent text, which is perhaps the most well-known classical ""AI"" problem of all (it's at the core of the ""Turing test"" and has been the distinguishing feature of historical ""AI"" software such as ELIZA).
  
  There is a narrower claim that may not be strictly incorrect, but I believe is misleading to the point of uselessness: that LLMs themselves are just ""models,"" which cannot make decisions or learn; even traditional game-playing AIs make sequences of decisions, so modern LLMs are less ""AI"" than these are.
  
  I would dispute that the token generation done by an LLM itself is ""not AI"" by this argument, simply because, as mentioned above, generating comprehensible text is historically a ""task typically associated with human intelligence."" But if we accept that ""true"" AIs must ""learn"" or ""make decisions,"" then LLMs indeed don't count. But LLMs are almost never used in isolation; even ChatGPT is a software system where the LLM itself is only one element. (If you're familiar with the concept of a REPL, ChatGPT is essentially just a REPL where the ""E"" step runs GPT.) More recently, ""agentic"" tools have become increasingly common: systems can write a plan, revise the plan, remember (or record) which steps have been completed and which have not, and work through the plan using available tools integrated with the LLM.
  
  As a fairly extreme example, just last week someone used Gastown to set up a fully autonomous LLM-based agent that [submitted a pull request to an open source repo, wrote a screed about anti-AI bias when that PR was rejected, and then took down the blog post and apologized when it was pointed out that the agent was in the wrong](https://theshamblog.com/an-ai-agent-published-a-hit-piece-on-me/); and all of this except the apology [happened without the human operator's involvement](https://theshamblog.com/an-ai-agent-wrote-a-hit-piece-on-me-part-4/). (The apology seems to have been spurred by one sentence, ""you should act more professional."") None of this behavior is _good_, obviously. But it certainly seems to involve perception and (poor) decision-making.
  
  One specific example of this ""LLMs in isolation"" argument comes from [a paper](https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=5754202) I found while trying to understand what people mean when saying that LLM-based AI is ""not AI."" One of its key claims is that LLMs aren't ""legally"" AI, which intrigued me. It cites several specific legal definitions, then says why these definitions don't apply to LLMs. But it doesn't actually seem to justify some of the statements it makes about LLMs, and as far as I can tell, the claims only true for the models themselves, so this is a similar claim to the one above. For instance, it rejects China's definition on the basis that LLMs ""1. do not learn in the environment; 2. do not form a strategy; 3. do not make decisions."" But LLM-based agents do all of these! (As a side-note, much of the paper, ironically, reads to me very much like AI-generated text, but I suspect that may be due to translation or ESL issues, since the paper was originally in Russian.)
  
  -----
  
  To change my view, I expect I will need be convinced of at least one of the following:
  
  * ""AI"" historically *has* referred to ""real"" intelligence rather than to the general field of computer science defined in the Wikipedia article. For instance, if there's a computer scientist known for their work in AI who said something like ""I don't really work in AI because computers aren't intelligent,"" or that something like Deep Thought isn't ""really"" AI, that would be worth a delta.
  * There actually is a rigorous definition of AI, accepted by at least one expert in the field, by which some existing software counts, but LLM-based systems are excluded.
  
  -----
  
  **Disclaimer:** I am not writing this to defend the *merits* of LLMs, much less to downplay their negative environmental and other impacts, make predictions about their future advances, or deny that there's an economic bubble.
  
  Also, I am inclined to believe that many humans act more like LLM-systems than most LLM critics are willing to admit, and consequently that there's less difference between ""artificial intelligence"" and ""human intelligence"" than humans would like there to be. But I do still think there's a distinction, and my argument is *not* that modern AI is ""intelligent"" in the human sense; merely that the term ""AI"" isn't, and shouldn't be, restricted to this type of ""intelligence.""","[{'e1': 'Such things ', 'e2': 'the umbrella of ""AI""', 'relation': 'would fall under ', 'condition': ' if they existed'}, {'e1': 'LLMs ', 'e2': 'count', 'relation': ""don't "", 'condition': 'if we accept that ""true"" AIs must ""learn"" or ""make decisions,"" '}, {'e1': ' ChatGPT ', 'e2': 'a REPL where the ""E"" step runs GPT.)', 'relation': 'is essentially just ', 'condition': ""If you're familiar with the concept of a REPL""}]"
89,P0090,1rih4mw,"So, I've held onto this CMV for a while because I feel somewhat strongly about it but I also recognize that it is philosophically complicated. On that note, I am leaning more towards the philosophy/morality of this view not the logistics (ie: how do we pay for people's food) although you're welcome to bring that up if you want.
  
  This CMV is discussing any criminal from a litterer to a serial killer. I want to *strongly* stress that this CMV by no means condones those or any specific wrongdoings/illegal activities.
  
  Onto the main show:
  
  I believe that all criminals, regardless of their actions, deserve basic human rights and a path to redemption with cruelty (not torture or the death penalty). Here is why:
  
  **1. The Baseline of Decency**
  
  I don't believe that human rights should be a reward for being a good (or even just not evil) person. I believe that everyone deserves basic human rights. They shouldn't be conditioned on behavior.
  
  **2. Neuroplasticity and the ability to change**
  
  [We know that our brains have the ability to change our entire lives](https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/how-memory-and-thinking-ability-change-with-age#:~:text=Scientists%20used%20to%20think%20that,between%20distant%20brain%20areas%20strengthen). Every single day we're alive is a day we can change. A day we can become just a little bit better.
  
  I believe that, because of that, humans should be given the opportunity to change. If we were to end someone's life because of a crime they committed, we'll never know what good they may have done if given the opportunity to change.
  
  **3. Consequences vs. Cruelty**
  
  I'm not arguing that wrongdoers should simply be let off the hook. I believe that they should face consequences. Depending on the crime, this could be anything from losing the right to vote to being incarcerated (although I do have my issue with that but that's for another time).
  
  I just believe they shouldn't face cruelty.
  
  **4. Justice & Revenge**
  
  This is almost certainly one of the hardest parts of this view. One may ask how is it fair for a murderer to not die or be given the chance at redemption and rehabilitation when their victim is dead.
  
  Well, this is where we get into the philosophical weeds. I am not an expert on philosophy and the philosophy of justice and revenge is a topic so complex it can (and likely has been) it's own CMV...
  
  but to put it simply, I have what I believe is a utilitarian approach (I think).
  
  In the example of murder, the loss of a human life is a total, permanent and horrific loss. but the death of the murder (or social death via solitary confinement or similar punishments) does not subtract from that loss. all it does is increase wasted human potential
  
  **5. What is redemption/rehabilitation?**
  
  While this would certainly depend on the crime, I see it as less of a fixed destination and more as a journey in a direction.
  
  But basically 3 things
  
  1. recognition - recognizing the wrong doing and fully accepting responsibility
  2. change - a demonstratable change in character or thought process
  3. restitution - A commitment to being as ""pro-social"" as possible (within the constraints of whatever consequence they are facing)
  
  I know some may ask what happens if restitution and rehabilitation conflict with each other (ie: a murderer should restitute by being killed) - for that refer back to point 4.
  
  tl;dr - all criminals and wrong doers deserve the path of redemption... even if they choose to never walk it or only take the first step.
  
  **edit: I want to remind folks that the point of this post is to discuss the philosophy and morals of this CMV, not the specific logistics (how would we afford it, where would we get the staff, etc) of the hypothetical system**
  
  **edit 2: guys, while i appreciate the interest, I again remind you, I am discussing the morals/ethics/philosophy. this is a hypothetical system. moving forward, I am either going to ignore or just respond ""logistics"" to comments that aren't staying on topic**","[{'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'they may have done ', 'relation': 'will never know what good ', 'condition': ""If we were to end someone's life because of a crime they committed""}, {'e1': 'they', 'e2': 'good', 'relation': 'may have done', 'condition': 'if given the opportunity to change.'}, {'e1': 'the loss of a human life ', 'e2': 'a total, permanent and horrific loss', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'In the example of murder'}]"
90,P0091,1ripxxg,"First of all I support a free iran and am completely against khamenei's regime and the irgc. However violating international law and airspace and playing god of earth dictating and sabotaging other countries' politics and sovereignty in my view is absolutely despicable. No country should act out such authority.
  
  I recently finished the hard scifi novel series 'the three body problem' where a group of humans tired of the atrocities commited by the governments of earth as well as personal vendetta for losses and tragedies in their past collaborate with aliens called trisolarans. In their first communication attempt a pacifist listener tried to warn the humans not to communicate with them again as they would be able to pinpoint their location and annhilate them and takeover. The human however strife with vengeance and misery thought the aliens would help them become better as a civilization with their advanced way of life and technology. And continued to ask the trisolarans to invade their planet and reform their ways. The trisolarans then started sending advanced undetectable computers called sophons that stifled human scientific progress so its ready for takeover. The traitor humans also form a faction actively sabotaging human defense and intelligence and feeding the aliens with data. Anyways all in all spoiler warning the earth is destroyed in this turmoil although humanity survives somehow in pocket dimensions as even the universe became unsafe for them. All these were thanks to the humans that betrayed their own people despite their goal being virtuous and trying to overthrow despots.
  
  If you haven't already realized I see huge parallels with American Military might/israeli power and the trisolarans or any calamitous aliens out there in the novel. The good half of americans who dislike this war are like the pacifist listener. The sophon is akin to the psyop, mossad infiltration and active sabotage of the country's tech to stifle its progress.
  
  Time and time again we have seen that these warmongers actively gain support of the country's people whose government they try to overthrow only to completely leave the country in absolute chaos and turmoil while siphoning all its resources.
  
  The 'new iranians' may think what is happening is a good thing and celebrating. In fact my work colleagues who are iranian also expressed that the deaths of the 100+ children who were unalived in the elementary girls school as collateral is worth it. Instead of mourning (for the children) they were in a state of euphoria. I did not express disdain to avoid work toxicity but in my mind i felt sick from their response.
  
  The libyans had celebrated the fall of gaddafi in the arab spring, the iraqis celebrated the fall of saddam, the gautemalans celebrated the fall of jacobo. Why isn't the iranian revolution the first rodeo I have seen and why do iranians think things will end differently for them? My country also faced a rebellion not long ago but the last thing in our minds was a foreign government intervention. We are aware what that entails which is a loss of national sovereignty, national dignity and a betrayal to our own nation. I believe the new iranians lack the self respect and national dignity. A foreign nation intervening in our countries' affairs would be a mssive slap on the face at least for me.
  
  Maybe I am wrong and I don't see the whole picture therefore am open to changing my view if your argument is convincing enough.
  
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  EDIT 1: This was a very fruitful exchange of ideas to me. A massive thanks to the mods for maintaing this wonderful sub. And thank you all for taking your time to comment. In general some delta users were quite in line with my view despite the differences. Eg. one user said mid-thread:
  
  >[I don't assume a different outcome. In fact, after Iran just massacred 30k protesters I think it's under 25% chance of working out well. I just think the chances are better than what you are describing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/SOBdbRA4Jf).
  
  If you debate often you will know this is an inadvertent concession (or maybe an attempt at synchoresis idk) and demonstrates on the idea of how much the odds are against iranians for a stability after regime change. Less' than 25% and so there is a possibility of it being 0% not that quarter odd is a great figure either. And my view is aligned with this take and I fail to understand how people celebrate despite internalizing these chances and trump/yahu gambling the lives of iranian infants, children, women, iranian education, society and basic necessities.
  
  Another user argued:
  
  >[First off, Iran has a civil society with organizations that aren't government. Second, there's an institutional memory of elections Third, the regime here is more religious than the populace rather than less.](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/iGUcbphJyu)
  
  But an amazing reply from user Correct_Traffic296 was given. To grossly paraphrase they said:
  
  >[Western views of Iran are skewed by a loud liberal diaspora, masking the country’s deep internal divisions and even significant deep support for the regime. Even if the Islamic Republic fell, rival factions would likely clash rather than unite. And it would most likely cause a civil war!](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/ig0gL0Dy5G). 
  
  Please read it in full from the link as I am not doing justice to their well thoughtout reply thread. I would also like to add some more faction into the mixture which are the kurds, the 'sunni' baloch and Azars who seriously would dissociate towards greater ajerbaijan.
  
  A lot of ad hominim like calling me ""gen-z"" or [""Absolutely emotional and uneducated take...""](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/VAdFMEpDft) or ""too young"" without asking for my background not that it matters either way as we should focus on the argument at hand; I have a minor in political science and Cambridge A-levels in History and Global Perspectives and an active participant in the MUN. This is something I am seriously quite into.
  
  But someone had clearly tried to push a low tactic ad hominem by calling me a ""jiw-ha-ter"". I was dumb-founded by such accusation just because of my criticism of zionist text and selective scripture (yesterday in fact netanyahu was justifying the war by quoting the bible on amalek and on the other front trump taking the mantle of messiah). [Here is my response to his accusation](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/Y4DnhFpqZq) ( *its is a large comment so might not load on app use browser instead* ). Further more this user was making false equivocation, category error, strawmanning (like my position on rebellion; i am pro), historical errors and ad hominem. They had extreme orwellian pessimism and biological determinism regarding the regime and also disregarded international law as 'red tape' which I found problematic. After all sovereignty is sacred and iran isn't the only country with human rights violation. There are in fact far worse (Azerbaijan, eriteria, myanmar, sudan, turkmenistan and the list is long) yet USA doesn't bother to intervene. Why should iran have centre of attention for regime change? Maybe because of Israel's coersion towards ulterior motives of destabilization and further its plan for greater israel? They also failed to address why my moral position on 'national dignity' is not rational and instead replied with fallacious examples and overfitted example fallacy. Everytime I outwit with a reply on the given example they change their example to some other example ans it became a rabbit chase. We did agree on one topic thankfully. You can read the whole thread start to finish [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/Fl09piyNTr). Hope you all gain something of benefit in this exchange. 
  
  Keep the replies coming. But I will engage if it is genuine, thoughtful and informed opinion without namecalling. If possible someone provide a detailed analysis or forward me to one regarding why the regime change will be positive one and will be stable if and after operation fury is a success. I fear it will be along one. I am still open to new perspective but so far scouring the internet its filled with propos and gop showmanship talk instead of nerdy analysis. I recently saw an hour talk with Prof John Mersheimer from UoC as well as Prof Ted Postol of MIT. Both gave a pessimistic ending to the war if epic fury is a success. Do check them out. 
  
  EDIT 2: My condolences to the innocent Iranian civilians in the thousand who lost their lives in illegal operation epic fury, the survivors and their families. The US empire and Isro Colony are comitting b2b warcrimes such as targeting schools, double-tapping after every strike, targeting civilian infrastructure and premeditated and controlled ecological warfare tactics through oil refinery strikes and desalination plants disrupting the country's climate. Hoping for a better tomorrow for the true and proud Iranians. Have a blessed day folks!","[{'e1': ' a pacifist listener', 'e2': 'the humans not to communicate with them again as they would be able to pinpoint their location and annhilate them and takeover', 'relation': ' tried to warn ', 'condition': 'In their first communication attempt'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'huge parallels with American Military might/israeli power and the trisolarans or any calamitous aliens out there in the novel.', 'relation': 'see ', 'condition': ""If you haven't already realized""}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ""it's under 25% chance of working out well"", 'relation': 'think ', 'condition': 'after Iran just massacred 30k protesters'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'engage', 'relation': 'will ', 'condition': ' if it is genuine, thoughtful and informed opinion without namecalling'}, {'e1': 'the regime change ', 'e2': 'positive one and will be stable ', 'relation': 'will be ', 'condition': 'if and after operation fury is a success'}, {'e1': 'Both ', 'e2': 'a pessimistic ending to the war', 'relation': 'gave ', 'condition': ' if epic fury is a success'}]"
91,P0092,1ris9b3,"It seems to me that in heterosexual relationships and dating, women hold more sexual power over men. By that I mean men are generally more driven by sex, more likely to pursue, and more willing to lower their standards for access to it. Because of that, women often end up being the “gatekeepers” of sex; deciding when it happens, if it happens, and under what conditions. From what I see socially and in dating culture, men compete and initiate, while women choose. That dynamic makes it feel like women have leverage in sexual situations.
  
  It also feels like women can very easily arouse men. Sometimes even a small thing, like slightly revealing clothing or a bit of cleavage, can have a strong effect on a lot of guys. That makes it seem like men are more visually reactive and easier to influence sexually, which again adds to the idea that women hold more power in that area.
  
  I’m trying to understand whether this is biologically rooted, socially constructed, or if I’m just interpreting things in a biased way.","[{'e1': 'women ', 'e2': 'more sexual power over men', 'relation': 'hold ', 'condition': ' in heterosexual relationships and dating'}, {'e1': ' women ', 'e2': 'the “gatekeepers” of sex', 'relation': 'often end up being ', 'condition': ' Because of the fact that men are generally more driven by sex, more likely to pursue, and more willing to lower their standards for access to it'}]"
92,P0093,1rixb55,"For a subject regarding financial planning, our professor tasked us with creating a financial plan for a hypothetical client for their retirement and other goals. I worked incredibly hard on the project, and at the end the professor awarded me an A grade. 
  
  Today, the next guy presented in class and what they presented absolutely blew my mind. It was a super detailed plan with a lot of contingencies planned for that I couldn't even imagine. It was just a brilliant plan throughout. However, it was also pretty obvious that it was entirely generated by an ai model. When it came to grading, the professor awarded him a B- grade. 
  
  The justification he gave was that it was again entirely generated by AI. I absolutely disagree that it is good enough justification. That model is much more superior than the model which was awarded an A grade, and it deserves an A+. 
  
  In the real world, the client is not going to worry if you've used AI or built the model on sleepless nights, they will only care about having the best plan which they could have. if the AI plan is superior, they will not care what i do in excel for 10 hours.
  
  I feel like I was rewarded for ""doing it the hard way"" rather than ""doing it the best way.
  
  TLDR: Should Academia be rewarding the process of manual labour instead of an objectively better project made with help from AI ?","[{'e1': 'the client ', 'e2': ""you've used AI or built the model on sleepless nights"", 'relation': 'is not going to worry if ', 'condition': 'In the real world'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the best plan which they could have.', 'relation': 'will only care about having ', 'condition': 'In the real world'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': ' i do in excel for 10 hours.', 'relation': 'will not care what', 'condition': ' if the AI plan is superior'}]"
93,P0094,1rj0nal,"I noticed mostly in the mainstream media today a greater emergence in this mentality of ""if you're not with us, you're against us."" That if you do not support a particular group, cause, lifestyle etc then you are automatically deemed to be in opposition to it. This is prevalent in all sides of the divide across all manner of issues.
  
  The truth is, the same freedom that allows you to have an opinion or fight for a cause gives another person the right to choose to not support it or to respectfully disagree. To me personally, a person is only an ""enemy"" of a cause when they take active steps to prevent others from supporting it too.
  
  I'm not a religious person but I belong to a particular faith. So automatically, I would not subscribe to any other faiths. However, that does not mean I believe those faiths to be my enemy or that I myself must actively oppose those who follow other religions. Same way that if I were a vegan, I would not consider those who eat meat as my enemy so long as they don't force me to eat meat against my will.
  
  There's nothing wrong with saying ""I don't agree with you but I respect your right to feel that way, subscribe to this view or practice this lifestyle."" Polite disagreements do not make people bigots or unpatriotic or enemies of the cause. 
  
  In today's time, we should learn to disagree better rather than expect total support and be disappointed when others have differing viewpoints.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': 'are against ', 'condition': ""if you're not with us""}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'opposition to it', 'relation': 'are automatically deemed to be in ', 'condition': 'if you do not support a particular group, cause, lifestyle etc'}, {'e1': 'a person', 'e2': 'an ""enemy"" of a cause ', 'relation': ' is only ', 'condition': 'when they take active steps to prevent others from supporting it too.'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ""those who eat meat as my enemy so long as they don't force me to eat meat against my will."", 'relation': 'would not consider ', 'condition': ' if I were a vegan'}, {'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'others have differing viewpoints.', 'relation': 'should learn to disagree better rather than expect total support and be disappointed when ', 'condition': ""In today's time""}]"
94,P0095,1rj1l8u,"I envision a system where, like the SAT, students should have to take a standardized ""pre-loan"" assessment, and present a certified passing score BEFORE ever borrowing even a penny's worth of student loans.
  
  Too many borrowers have fallen/continue to fall victim to the predatory lending system in the United States. There needs to be an exam that asks hypothetical questions about net worth, calculating interest, options for saving/investing, etc., allowing potential loan-takers to show both concrete and abstract thinking about the potential consequences of debt.
  
  It's far too easy to sign the master promissory note with absolutely ZERO knowledge about how anything works.
  
  I am open to changing my view if someone can convince me that any such test would somehow contribute to even greater inequity/inequality in an already flawed system.
  
  Change my view.","[{'e1': 'Too many borrowers ', 'e2': 'the predatory lending system ', 'relation': 'have fallen/continue to fall victim to ', 'condition': 'in the United States'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'changing my view ', 'relation': 'am open to ', 'condition': 'if someone can convince me that any such test would somehow contribute to even greater inequity/inequality in an already flawed system.'}]"
95,P0096,1rj3g5d,"I fear that our civilization is on the precipice of a dark age. As global temperatures rise, storms and other severe weather events will worsen, bludgeoning our infrastructure, stressing resources and systems to the point of exhaustion, and cause massive swaths of the planet to become inhospitable to human life. This will compel the mass migration of hundreds of millions or billions of people to areas which cannot absorb them, creating a domino effect of societal collapse.
  
  However, I’d like to hear science-based reasoning or citations which show that humanity’s failure to ween itself off fossil fuel emissions will not result in catastrophic consequences in the next 50-100 years.
  
  Has the case of global warming been overstated? Please refrain from conspiracy-theory. I’d like reality-based arguments. I will not challenge; but ask questions.
  
  EDIT: thanks for the opinions and insights, and special thanks to anyone who posted links to readings, I will dive into them tonight.
  
  My view was changed slightly, allowing for the possibility that advances in technology might somewhat mitigate the most disastrous effects of global warming and avoid a dark age, though I’d still rather not bet on it. Also, I thought there was a very good point that science cannot predict how humanity will react to the effects of global warming, which in-turn limits our understanding of its eventual effects.","[{'e1': ' storms ', 'e2': 'worsen', 'relation': 'will ', 'condition': 'As global temperatures rise'}, {'e1': 'other severe weather events ', 'e2': 'worsen', 'relation': 'will ', 'condition': 'As global temperatures rise'}]"
96,P0097,1rj8fux,"Perhaps something that most, if not, all people can agree on is that Racism, Antisemitism, Homophobia, etc has made a sudden resurgence over the last couple years, and it's not confined to a small group of people.
  
  Most Instragrammers for example, are not only building themselves on these issues, but are thriving off of it. A report conducted by [Center for Countering Digital Hate](https://counterhate.com/blog/antisemitic-and-racist-hate-shops-are-thriving-on-instagram/) in 2025 showed that ""Hate shops"" are thriving on the platform because people have been building themselves on ""edgy racist and homophobic memes,"" like Black people being significantly more animalistic, Arabs being terrorists, etc and creating a community where people genuinely enjoy and promote the content of it.
  
  It's not limited to racism or homophobia; the most disturbing is how people glorify pedophilia and the Epstein situation on Instagram. You got people making AI songs about how ""Epstein kidnapped me when I was 11, he showed me his schlong; feels like heaven"" and ""Me and P. Diddy had a sneaky sneaky link!"" because the culture nowadays is the humorization of tragedy and social situations. You wouldn't see this before social media.
  
  It's not limited to Instagram aswell, it's on TikTok and YouTube; any platform that allows the creation and sharing of videos allows this to fester and spread.
  
  Social Media did in less than 3 decades more than what the KKK could have ever accomplished, and that's because the KKK, Neo-Nazis, etc use social media aswell to garner support, and people are praising it.
  
  This might just be an ""old man yells at cloud"" moment, but it's something I find interesting to say the least. CMV if you can.
  
  Edit: Edited the link
  
  Edit 2: Resurgence, as defined by Webster: 
  *an* ***increase*** *or revival after a period of little activity, popularity, or occurrence*.","[{'e1': 'Social Media ', 'e2': 'the KKK could have ever accomplished', 'relation': 'did more than what ', 'condition': 'in less than 3 decades'}]"
97,P0098,1rj97gr,"I think that the number of countries with nuclear capabilities is going to at least double in the next two decades and I think that this will usher in an era of geopolitical instability which the world has not seen since the 1940s. I am making this claim for the following two reasons-
  
  1. **The United States is stepping away from its role as guarantor of global security:**
  
  Since the end of World War II, the U.S. has stood as the first line of the defense in Europe and East Asia against Russian/Soviet and Chinese aggression. It has signaled that it will no longer do so. As such, there is very little reason for a powerful and technologically sophisticated power such as Germany or Japan not to pursue the ultimate chess piece. If either country acquired nuclear weapons, there would be little reason to dissuade a Poland or a South Korea — countries with profoundly traumatic experiences with the German and Japanese militaries — from obtaining their own nuclear arsenals.
  
  **2. The United States has become an agent of chaos:**
  
  This is kind of a corollary to point one but it deserves to be examined on its own. In stark contrast to the recent past, the United States has become very unpredictable and unruly. One could argue that this trend started with Iraq in 2003 but it is clear that its behavior has recently become more and more erratic. Actions like decapitation strikes of foreign leaders and casual threats to annex territories unilaterally make it clear that it’s close to impossible to predict the future behavior of the world’s most powerful military.
  
  Taken together, these two developments make it almost unwise NOT to develop nuclear weapons.
  
  If Iran or Venezuela had possessed nuclear weapons, it is certain their leaders would not have faced assassination or forcible removal.
  
  If Russia did not possess nuclear weapons, it is plausible that Vladimir Putin might now be facing trial in The Hague or have been the target of a decapitation strike.
  
  If Germany were to acquire nuclear weapons, it would gain the strategic autonomy to shape European security on its own terms.
  
  If Turkey or Saudi Arabia were to acquire nuclear weapons, they would be able to negotiate with Israel and Iran as equals, with or without American backing.
  
  For these reasons, I struggle to see why a rational leader in today’s environment would choose not to pursue nuclear weapons if given the opportunity.
  
  Edit - typos","[{'e1': 'the number of countries with nuclear capabilities', 'e2': 'double ', 'relation': ' is going to at least ', 'condition': 'in the next two decades'}, {'e1': 'this', 'e2': 'an era of geopolitical instability which the world has not seen ', 'relation': ' will usher in ', 'condition': 'since the 1940s'}, {'e1': ' the U.S. ', 'e2': 'the first line of the defense in Europe and East Asia against Russian/Soviet and Chinese aggression', 'relation': 'has stood as ', 'condition': 'Since the end of World War II'}, {'e1': ' there ', 'e2': ' a Poland or a South Korea — countries with profoundly traumatic experiences with the German and Japanese militaries — from obtaining their own nuclear arsenals.', 'relation': 'would be little reason to dissuade', 'condition': 'If either country acquired nuclear weapons'}, {'e1': ' the United States ', 'e2': 'very unpredictable and unruly', 'relation': 'has become ', 'condition': 'In stark contrast to the recent past'}, {'e1': 'this trend ', 'e2': 'Iraq ', 'relation': 'started with ', 'condition': 'in 2003 '}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'their leaders would not have faced assassination or forcible removal.', 'relation': 'is certain ', 'condition': 'If Iran or Venezuela had possessed nuclear weapons'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'Vladimir Putin might now be facing trial in The Hague or have been the target of a decapitation strike.', 'relation': 'is plausible that ', 'condition': 'If Russia did not possess nuclear weapons'}, {'e1': 'it', 'e2': ' the strategic autonomy to shape European security on its own terms.', 'relation': ' would gain', 'condition': 'If Germany were to acquire nuclear weapons'}, {'e1': ' they', 'e2': 'Israel and Iran as equals, with or without American backing.', 'relation': ' would be able to negotiate with ', 'condition': 'If Turkey or Saudi Arabia were to acquire nuclear weapons'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' a rational leader in today’s environment would choose not to pursue nuclear weapons ', 'relation': 'struggle to see why', 'condition': 'if given the opportunity.'}]"
98,P0099,1rj9xrr,"Background: asker vs guesser is the observation that some people are raised asking for what they want and are happy with whatever answer they get, while others are raised to only ask for things if they have solid reason to believe the answer will be ""yes."" It's broader than that, but that's the gist.
  
  Most sources discussing ""Asker"" vs ""Guesser"" culture take an overtly neutral stance, suggesting that neither is better than the other.
  
  I disagree. In my experience, far more misery comes from guesser behavior than asker behavior, most of which is self-inflicted. Guessers exclude themselves from things they want, deny their own needs, and otherwise put themselves into compromising positions in order to protect themselves from hearing ""no"". They will get mad at askers around them, treating them as if they're OBVIOUSLY rude.
  
  Askers, on the other hand, are more resilient in the face of unexpected answers to their questions, do not get offended as easily, and generally live a much more peaceful life with less stress. The only time asker behavior causes misery is when they interact with a guesser, or they are actually a bad person asking for bad things.
  
  I believe asker is better than guesser both on an individual basis, and on a cultural basis. Societies that have a bunch of implied social rules making people feel bad for asking for what they want out of life are worse than societies that just say what they want and accept what comes.
  
  I believe that guessers' lives would be better off if they learned to act like askers.
  
  But these conclusions are all based on personal experience, and my own feelings during asker/guesser conflicts. If there is merit to the guesser point of view, I'd rather have a more realistic take.
  
  So change my view...","[{'e1': 'others ', 'e2': 'things ', 'relation': 'are raised to only ask for ', 'condition': 'if they have solid reason to believe the answer will be ""yes.""'}, {'e1': ' far more misery ', 'e2': 'guesser behavior than asker behavior', 'relation': 'comes from ', 'condition': ' In my experience'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ""guessers' lives would be better off "", 'relation': ' believe that ', 'condition': 'if they learned to act like askers.'}]"
99,P0100,1rjbxpo,"Based on every news article and subreddit I’ve read (climate, environment, futurology, CMV, optimists unite, collapse to name a few), I cannot help but concluding that human civilisation will descend into a worldwide Gaza/Mad Max/anarchy type scenario in the next 10-50 years due to climate change, biodiversity loss and/or overshoot. I have no hope for myself or my young child having a liveable, safe future. All I can picture for human-kind's near future is worldwide starvation, resource wars, riots, flooding, fires, mass death and destruction to all social and emergency services… then the top 1% boarding themselves up in towers or bunkers to stay away from it all and leaving the rest of us to fight it out between ourselves (and killing us if we revolt).
  
  I’m based in Victoria, Australia and already see our basic infrastructure crumbling and not getting fixed/replaced, home gardening getting harder to maintain each year due to loss of pollinators and crops flowering at odd times of year, wildlife vanishing (the bush is very quiet compared to 10 years ago), communities whip-lashing between fire and flood and our government in total denial about any of it.
  
  I don't see any viable path avoiding human civilisation collapsing in the coming decades. Is this just anxiety taking over or is this really where humanity is headed?","[{'e1': 'human civilisation ', 'e2': 'a worldwide Gaza/Mad Max/anarchy type scenario in the next 10-50 years due to climate change', 'relation': 'will descend into ', 'condition': 'Based on every news article and subreddit I’ve read (climate, environment, futurology, CMV, optimists unite, collapse to name a few)'}]"
100,P0101,1rjf46g,"I'm fully aware I'm emotional about this right now, for the record
  
  My dad is dying. He has been for a while. Diagnosed 3 years ago, given 6 months. Radiation bought him time, but almost killed him. It was undetectable December 2024. By Sept 2025, it was back with a vengeance. He called it. He couldn't take more radiation. 
  
  He's been on home hospice since mid January. His nurses thought he would be gone weeks ago, to the point I talked to him what I thought would be one last time first week of February. But he's been keeping going. He was able to communicate (he can barely talk) that he was hanging on so mom would get one more social security check. 
  
  But once March came, and mom told him it was the first, his blood pressure started to drop. He managed to communicate today that he felt it was coming, and asked Mom to call me. He couldn't do any more than groan. It's spread to the nodes in his neck so now his entire neck and face are swollen. 
  
  Dad was always a prideful man. He valued his independence and dignity above all. He took pride in being a provider and a caregiver. 
  
  Now he is being taken of by mom and her sisters (I'm 3000 miles away and cannot afford the time off nor travel expenses, which is killing me....). Naked, with a Foley catheter, wasting away, having to take medicine rectally because the cancer has completely sealed off his stomach. 
  
  Why?
  
  When our beloved pets are sick, and there is no hope, we take them to the vet before life becomes a painful, miserable, hopeless and seemingly endless struggle....give them a little pin prick shot....and let them pass in our arms, comfortablely. Sometimes we can even do it in our own home. I've had a dog that we did that with. She laid in her own bed, being pet and cuddled, and had the people that loved her with her as her pain was taken away and given to those that would feel it for her. 
  
  Why don't we do that for our parents? For our loved ones? Why is there this insistence to extend life far beyond what anyone would consider livable? Why must we, for the sake of those that don't find it palatable, put our families in insurmountable debt trying to make us comfortable in our final weeks?
  
  I genuinely don't understand how anyone would have an issue with it? Can anyone make me understand?
  
  Update: Moot point for me now. Dad passed after a 3 year fight.","[{'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'the vet before life becomes a painful, miserable, hopeless and seemingly endless struggle', 'relation': 'take them to ', 'condition': 'When our beloved pets are sick, and there is no hope'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'a little pin prick shot', 'relation': 'give them ', 'condition': 'When our beloved pets are sick, and there is no hope'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'our arms, comfortablely', 'relation': ' let them pass in ', 'condition': 'When our beloved pets are sick, and there is no hope'}]"
101,P0102,1rjjg3m,"I've been seeing this a lot recently, including before Iran. A lot of tounge and cheek memes but also a lot of people serious that we're all going to die in a nuclear war or something like that in the next few years. 
  
  I think the first reason is that Iran, Ukraine etc are all proxy wars. Like we saw in the Cold War. The superpowers (and I include Europe as one) simply do not want to face each other head on. International precedents remain stronger than you think and even Trump is afraid of the consequences. Yes proxy wars can turn into something bigger but Russia has tested this in Ukraine and both sides seem pretty committed to keeping it contained despite rhetoric. 
  
  I think nuclear war is out of the question here to put it simply: MAD. 
  
  So with nukes out of the picture if a WW was to happen we need rearment. Yes Russia and China have huge armies, they always have done. The US have a large army but no way big enough for a Vietnam sized conflict let alone a WW. Europe are increasing size but too slowly and to too small a size to cause any alarm about imminent conflict or drafting etc. It's natural they we all want a slightly bigger army atm but this doesn't mean WW is to come, it's largely to keep people tf out their space. 
  
  The only way I see a WW is if it takes place through cyber attacks / economically. Which is not what social media are focusing on. 
  
  Anyway a lot more I have to say but I don't have all that time on my hands!","[{'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'rearment', 'relation': 'need ', 'condition': 'if a WW was to happen'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a WW ', 'relation': 'see ', 'condition': 'if it takes place through cyber attacks / economically'}]"
102,P0103,1rjjq6x,"I believe the recent escalation in Iran, specifically the joint US-Israel strikes that began on February 28, is being used by the Trump administration as a scenario to divert public attention from the Epstein Files Transparency Act fallout. 
  Just a few weeks ago, the DOJ dropped those 3 million pages from the Epstein Files Transparency Act. It should have been a huge win for transparency, but then that NPR report came out last week showing that the DOJ has been quietly scrubbing files that mention Trump specifically. Since the strikes started on Feb 28, I haven't seen a single mainstream segment on the Epstein database. Am I just being too cynical about the timing? Or is my point somewhat right?","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'a single mainstream segment on the Epstein database', 'relation': ""haven't seen "", 'condition': ' Since the strikes started on Feb 28'}]"
103,P0104,1rjkw4z,"""If buying isn't owning, piracy isn't stealing"" is a hard-hitting slogan, but it's not my preferred justification for piracy because it's very deontologist, i.e. rooted in moral rules like ""stealing is wrong"" that I find arbitrary. My approach to ethics is consequentialist and similar to rule utilitarianism. To determine if an act is moral, I ask one question:
  
  If everyone acted this way in similar situations, how would this affect happiness in general?
  
  The goal is to maximize happiness, but that's a lofty goal - just increasing happiness in general is good enough, or at least not *de*creasing it.
  
  I don't believe in pirating games willy-nilly because if everyone did that, then the gaming industry would probably collapse. Definitely not a net benefit to happiness! However, what if everyone pirated only *successful* games?
  
  I'll use the game Rain World as an example. That game grossed [$13,123,141.02](https://steam-revenue-calculator.com/app/312520/rain-world) on Steam. Divide that number several times to *very generously* account for marketing and developing time, and the two developers still made at *least* many hundreds of thousands of dollars off of that game - way more than I, a broke college student, will be making any time soon! They're doing fine financially and are in a great position to keep making games, at least money-wise. Frankly, I need the money a lot more than them.
  
  If everyone pirated successful games, this would effectively impose a very reasonable soft cap on earnings. But what exactly should this cap be? How successful is successful enough?
  
  Generally, I'd say the game has to have made enough for the developers to secure financial comfort for themselves and be able to make more games in the future. ""Financial comfort"" means being able to spend 50% of your income on needs, 30% on wants, and 20% on debt and savings; it's very roughly somewhere around $100,000 a year in the US. If a game grosses enough to ensure this for each team member, then the game is successful enough to pirate.","[{'e1': ' piracy ', 'e2': 'stealing', 'relation': ""isn't "", 'condition': ""If buying isn't owning""}, {'e1': 'the gaming industry ', 'e2': 'collapse', 'relation': 'would probably ', 'condition': ' if everyone pirates games willy-nilly'}, {'e1': 'this ', 'e2': 'a very reasonable soft cap on earnings.', 'relation': 'would effectively impose ', 'condition': 'If everyone pirated successful games '}, {'e1': 'the game ', 'e2': 'successful enough to pirate.', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'If a game grosses enough to ensure this for each team member'}]"
104,P0105,1rjmb9c,"We all watched as they assassinated the leader of a sovreign nation in an unprovoked assault. But I just realized that it was only 5 days after the closing olympic ceremonies. 
  
  The olympics are about using sports to promote world peace, and cooperation through frirndly competition. Participating nations are expected to refrain from striking each other during the games. This Olympic truce extends 7 days before and 7 days after the games to allow athletes to travel to and from the games. The USA(and israel) flagrantly violated this truce and should be banned from future olympics. Their athletes of course an compete as individuals without flags or anthems like the victoms of any other rogue nation.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'the leader of a sovreign nation ', 'relation': 'assassinated ', 'condition': 'in an unprovoked assault.'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': '5 days ', 'relation': 'was only ', 'condition': 'after the closing olympic ceremonies. '}]"
105,P0106,1rjn8ek,"CMV: Thanks to the many posters. I have indeed changed my view on several aspects of this hot-button topic. After reading every post, and responding to most, the discussion seems to have taken a dark undertone, thus I think I'll say we have reached topic fatigue. Again Thanks. I've learned alot.
  
  Edit: I accept that 6 weeks is the extreme outside that a fetus begins to feel pain. ACOG and other medical groups take the extreme opposite view that a fetus probably' doesn't feel pain until week 23. The answer is somewhere between.
  
  Edit: I accept that I was wrong in saying life doesn't start at conception. I should have said that regarding the debate over abortion, there is no pain inflicted upon the ""life"" until a certain developmental stage.
  
  As a medical professional, I hear ""Any fertilized egg is a life"" and ""My body my choice"". Here are the MEDICAL facts. A fertilized egg is two cells, a spermatazoa and an egg. There is nothing resembling life. Even days later, it is a blastocyst- a ball of dividing cells. There is no sencisence or life. On the other hand, after aprox. 6-8 weeks, the fetus has a brain and spinal cord with nerves. These are the necessary components for feeling hot/cold/touch/pain. To forcibly cut up and remove this developed fetus theoretically would cause incredible pain, even if there were no conscious awareness of self. Both sides have their medical facts incorrect. The answer seems to be abortion up to about week 5-6, after that, only of the mother's life is in danger.","[{'e1': 'a fetus ', 'e2': 'pain ', 'relation': ""probably' doesn't feel "", 'condition': 'until week 23'}, {'e1': 'there', 'e2': 'pain inflicted upon the ""life"" ', 'relation': ' is no ', 'condition': 'until a certain developmental stage.'}]"
106,P0107,1rjqoio,"CMV:
  
  I finally understand the bear thing, and I owe women an apology
  
  I think I finally understand why women, when asked if they'd rather be stuck in a forest with a random man or a bear, chose the bear. And I feel bad for getting sucked into the emotional reaction instead of thinking it through.
  
  The first thing that gets lost in the conversation is the forest setting. It's not incidental. A forest implies nobody will hear you scream, which is fucking terrifying. It removes every safety net women have developed for navigating the world. No witnesses, no exit, no one to call.
  
  Then I thought about the bear itself. Bears are conflict-averse by nature. A woman knows deeply how terrifying she'd be to a bear. They'd probably both just be trying to get away from each other. Two creatures who both find humans threatening, just trying to go about their day. Their interests are actually aligned.
  
  Then there's the man. It's unpredictable. In most situations you'd get a soft city boy as lost as you, trying to cooperate. But in the chance of him being a psycho, you're just screwed in so many ways. A bear mauling is horrible but it ends. What a person is capable of sustaining over time, deliberately, psychologically, that makes a bear mauling look nice.
  
  Women weren't being irrational or man-hating. They were running an accurate risk assessment, probably without even consciously articulating why. That's what good instinct looks like.
  
  And for the guys accusing me of being a pick me, think about this: would you rather be in a forest with a hostile man that's stronger than you or a bear? I think you know the answer.
  
  For every woman I judged over this trend, I'm sorry. The bear answer was never even close.
  
  Edit: typo
  
  Edit 2: changed the idiom ""coin flip"" to ""unpredictable"" as it was a poor use of it that implied a 50/50
  
  Edit 3: after talking with a lot of people, I realized that as a man, I would choose the bear over a random woman. The reason is simple, I could be completely well intentioned, she'd be spiraling in panic, fake cooperation long enough until she gets an occasion to get rid of me. Basically this whole meme is just **the prisoner's dilemma framed in culture war rhetoric** two rational actors making the worst case calculation in an information vacuum. We're really the scariest animal on the planet.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'a soft city boy as lost as you, trying to cooperate', 'relation': 'would get ', 'condition': 'In most situations'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' I would choose the bear over a random woman', 'relation': 'realized that as a man', 'condition': 'after talking with a lot of people'}]"
107,P0108,1rjwd3j,"china will never surpass the US militarily
  
  the US is a huge global power, they are proven capable by experience advanced technology, the fact that they can keep their military supplied worldwide and having bases everywhere 
  
  what has China done exactly? in the last 50 years they haven't fought a single war (Vietnam doesn't count btw, and if it did it would actually make it worse for them) they don't have any combat experience, their leadership is only good at getting medals, we literally have no idea how good their technology is they've never used it in a war
  
  i fully believe if Taiwan was invaded the US airforce can wipe out whatever they have, they didn't prove that the US can't just do that in anyway
  
  and lastly look at what's happening, trump kidnapped maduro one of their allies and they didn't do a single thing, sure maybe you could say this one is too far for them (which actually proves my point, the US wouldn't have a problem with distance) look at what's happening in Iran recently, china buys 90% of Iran's oil and the US is currently bombing them possibly going to split them in 5 pieces If they successfully overthrow the government, china has not done a single thing to help them or stop them
  
  i don't care if they have a neutrality policy or whatever, in what world a global power would let this happen? the US is still helping Ukraine and supplying the rest of their allies worldwide with weaponry whether China and Russia back the opposite side or not
  
  that's all, prove to me that china will actually replace the US militarily as the strongest country (and militarily only, I'm not really the best to talk about economics so avoid this)","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': 'would actually make it worse for ', 'condition': ' if vietnam counted'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'a single war', 'relation': ""haven't fought "", 'condition': 'in the last 50 years'}, {'e1': 'the US ', 'e2': 'them possibly going to split them in 5 pieces', 'relation': 'is currently bombing ', 'condition': ' If they successfully overthrow the government'}]"
108,P0109,1rkgmyf,"There is a lot of discussion over the death sentence, and many countries have scaled back its use, with some outlawing it entirely. However, I fail to understand the rationale behind this decision, as I believe its a fair and valid form of justice.
  
  Just to preface, I am assuming that the death penalty is used for serious crimes such as aggravated murder, rape, etc and is executed only after due process, conviction and the exhaustion of appeals. I am also assuming that the alternative to the death sentence for individuals such as these is life imprisonment (without parole).
  
  **Main Arguments**
  
  Firstly, life imprisonment allows the possibility of further innocents dying due to the acts of the criminal and causes damage to the system. Criminals that are incarcerated for life are more likely to engage in prison violence, homicide, and sexual assault. Gang leaders and members are able to continue operating their gangs from within prisons, causing further damage to innocents. Thus, life imprisonment is not without risks, and it is far from a safe alternative to the death penalty.
  
  Secondly, violent criminals that are sentenced to life imprisonment without parole are effectively unreformable. If we accept that the primary motive of the prison system needs to be to reform and rehabilitate criminals with society, including such violent criminals can seriously compromise and hamper this process. Through gangs and systemic violence within prisons, they act as a catalyst in the institutionalization of other, rehabilitable prisoners.
  
  Thirdly, the death sentence is much more humane than life imprisonment as a whole. It provides a swift and, with enough preparation, painless death compared to a slow and long decline that leads to death nonetheless. If we are willing to condemn a person to die within the same four walls a few decades from now, it is more humane to carry out the sentence immediately and painlessly.
  
  Finally, while false convictions would have a greater consequence with the death penalty, these are a relatively small percentage of cases and are an accepted side effect for any form of justice. There is little any system can do for individuals against whom the evidence is so coincidentally secure that they receive a conviction, and are unable to prove their innocence in their appeals. The advantages of the system far outweigh the few who will suffer great injustices at its hand.
  
  **Miscellaneous points:**
  
  While the next few points would be unable to stand as arguments for the death sentence independently, they add value to the argument nonetheless.
  
  The death penalty would somewhat reduce the stress on the prison system, reducing long term incarceration and saving a not insignificant quantity of money that can be repurposed for the improvement of the prison system. In the US, the average cost of a prisoner per year is \~65,000 dollars.
  
  If the aforementioned hypothesis that violent criminals have a negative effect on rehabilitation is accepted, the death penalty could bring about long term improvements in the recidivism rate, improving the prison and justice system as well as the societal ecosystem as a whole.
  
  The death sentence can be ethically justified, in that it is equal retribution for the gravitude of the crime committed. From a utilitarian point of view, it prevents any further damage. From a deontological view, it is justified as it is the state's responsibility to protect the life and liberty of its members and equal force can be used to accomplish this.
  
  **Conclusion**
  
  Thus, from my point of view, the death penalty is largely justified as long as it is done in accordance with the doctrines of justice. I haven't heard many of the arguments against the death penalty in detail, however, and would love to hear some good points on that side","[{'e1': 'including such violent criminals ', 'e2': 'this process', 'relation': 'can seriously compromise and hamper ', 'condition': ' If we accept that the primary motive of the prison system needs to be to reform and rehabilitate criminals with society'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'the sentence immediately and painlessly.', 'relation': 'is more humane to carry out ', 'condition': 'If we are willing to condemn a person to die within the same four walls a few decades from now'}, {'e1': ' these ', 'e2': 'a relatively small percentage of cases and are an accepted side effect for any form of justice', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'while false convictions would have a greater consequence with the death penalty'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the argument nonetheless.', 'relation': 'add value to ', 'condition': 'While the next few points would be unable to stand as arguments for the death sentence independently'}, {'e1': ' the death penalty ', 'e2': 'long term improvements in the recidivism rate, improving the prison and justice system as well as the societal ecosystem as a whole.', 'relation': 'could bring about ', 'condition': 'If the aforementioned hypothesis that violent criminals have a negative effect on rehabilitation is accepted'}, {'e1': 'the death penalty ', 'e2': 'largely justified ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'as long as it is done in accordance with the doctrines of justice'}]"
109,P0110,1rkr8fs,"First Venezuela, now Iran (well, Iran twice, just more serious this time). They have done nothing, even their words are barely assertive. Their equipment is trash, their Navy sucks, it turns out, all this psy op about China doing this and that or invading Taiwan looks like well, a psy-op. I now have zero fear of them doing a thing. 
  
  What country would ally with China if they don't do a thing to help? I'm not saying this as an apologist for anything Iran has done to its citizens, I'm saying this purely from a strategic military view: if China lets its allies, and Iran is one of their more important and strategic allies, get bombed out and won't even speak up, all they are doing is showing the world China won't help you, they talk tough, and all this ""tech"" is cheaply made trash. Venezuela couldn't even intercept missiles with it. At least American military hardware works.
  
  I'm not a Trump person, I don't agree with any narrative of starting a war with Iran. This is just about China and its role with its allies. They are useless. Steal intellectual property and talk big - that's it. They have no war machine. 
  
  America keeps their war machine well-oiled, every \~20 years, just enough to keep institutional knowledge passed on. China has none of that muscle memory. It takes 5-10 years to ramp up from zero, but once up, can be maintained in shorter bursts. 
  
  
  Strategic or not, biding their time or not, at some point, a weaker, smaller ally expects some back up from the bigger ally. And it needs to be visible, importantly. 
  
  
  All those BRICS countries are probably like ""well...damn..."" 
  
  Update: View changed. I wasn't aware the alliances China had with these countries was mostly business, not military.","[{'e1': 'they ', 'e2': "" the world China won't help you"", 'relation': 'are showing', 'condition': ""if China lets its allies get bombed out and won't even speak up""}]"
110,P0111,1rkswn9,"Going to try my best to keep this post short and sweet. I genuinely don't know whether people will agree or disagree with me, and I'm curious to find out. Criticism is welcome, angry name calling is not **🙏**
  
  As the title states, parasocial relationships are not real relationships. They are imaginary. If you have a relationship with a streamer, they are not your friend -- they are your imaginary friend. It doesn't matter how many messages you typed in their chat, how many subs you donated, how many TTS messages you typed... they simply don't know you. But the problem is that you feel like you know them. And that is a sad, sad thing.
  
  I am a software engineer working remotely. I'll regretably admit that my social life isn't so great. I spent the last year moving around the country exploring the Rockies in CO and the central region of the Appellations Mountains. I made the mistake of depending too much on Twitch for my social life. Overtime the weight of the shallowness of the fake relationships I was building weighed on me, and the lonliness increased despite engaging in Twitch for longer periods. It blew up in my face recently when I had an argument with one of the mods and some community members of my favorite streamer (I won't get into the details), and they banned me. And then I realized I had no social life outside of Twitch, and that was pretty much gone, and that my ""relationships"" were not real.
  
  Counter arguments:
  
  I considered whether very small streams might be the exception because they are small enough that they can make very personal and real friendships with chat members. However, that wouldn't be a ""parasocial"" friendship, it's an actual friendship. Same goes for mods or certain viewers who have a personal friendship with the streamer. That makes it no longer parasocial.
  
  I could see someone disagreeing with me because they defined the term ""relationship"" differently than I do. For example, arguably I still retain a relationship with deceased loved ones even though they are gone. Perhaps ""relationships"" can be one-sided in this way. I'm open to this viewpoint. It would be harder to change my mind that parasocial relationships are often not the highest of quality, to put it lightly.
  
  I can also see someone claiming that, if your social life irl is stable, then a low dose of parasocial relationships really isn't that harmful. But is it a real relationship though?","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'friend', 'relation': 'are not your ', 'condition': 'If you have a relationship with a streamer'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'imaginary friend', 'relation': 'are your ', 'condition': 'If you have a relationship with a streamer'}, {'e1': ' a low dose of parasocial relationships ', 'e2': 'harmful', 'relation': ""really isn't that "", 'condition': 'if your social life irl is stable'}]"
111,P0112,1rlbwmq,"As a socialist, I am beginning to distrust the direction of the political left. The organized left in America has been greatly weakened by the wars, and liberals put pressure on the intellectuals, the DSA and the socialist movement as a whole to soften its stances.
  
  Few have discussed socialism earnestly in years, not even most of the socialist groups. So we have partly lost the ability to articulate the demands or concepts of the *maximum program*, that is, outside of the minimum program demands for immediate reforms. This is a direct result of the hysterical media environment and slopification. I do not trust there to soon be a dentente where we can start speaking openly again. To me, the media is going to be like this forever, a long time. 
  
  I also see a return to anti-billionaire or “anti elite” populism, which is not only less precise than a direct invocation of class, but is more easily co-opted and drowned out by the mainstream discourse. It sounds radical, but it has little substance. This was one of Bernie Sanders’s shortcomings, but it was solved rather easily because of the overall “left” turn of the discourse at the time. Bernie still spoke about the working class in his campaigns, which is a version of this class stance. This is also a sharp departure from when Chris Smalls became the leader of the Amazon Union in 2023. Smalls told people to read the Communist Manifesto and I was reading about how organizers in the Amazon plants were inspired by tactics from American communists like William Z. Foster. *They read theory and actually used it!* Jaz Brisack of the Starbucks Union also spoke about how her organizing work was directly involved with *class struggle*.
  
  What happened to this? This is the kind of left I miss. *The promethean left*, the one that wants to bring fire to all of humanity. We were primarily focused on real organizational problems such as program, trade unions, making newspapers, building the politics and the culture, not simple optics in elections. We recognized we had to move one step at a time. In Sweden, this is what Axel Danielsson did by translating the *Communist Manifesto* into Swedish. Danielsson translating the *Manifesto* did not do much to make the Social Democratic Party electorally successful, but what it did do is build the movement, many of the socialists said that workers needed their own culture.
  
  This is what I am getting at. The left knew that it needed a movement. But this idea has been lost. Nobody is realistic anymore. They again want to go from nothing to winning the presidential election. It is a recipe for both grift and confusion, it is a cartoon, not a real politics.
  
  **Edit / feedback**: we should also note that the DSA infrequently runs candidates of their own and mostly relies on these infrequent candidates to get across its message. This has been discussed in *Geese Magazine,* for instance, as a strategy of reaction to external events as opposed to recruitment campaigns. The role of electoral politics needs to be more carefully considered in my analysis.
  
  The movement is now being replaced by whatever the big guys in the media say. Zohran Mamdani can barely speak without several layers of press and media deciding the “correct” interpretation, which almost always ignores the internal politics of the left and actual facts.
  
  We have a rise of pundits, with people such as Hasan Piker, Kyle Kulinski and Matt Bernstein. Piker still represents the more traditional left that I remember, but also most of the “left” discourse has become nauseating slopulism and memes. Kyle Kulinski, biggest progressive personality in America, posted a racist meme that caricatured a disabled Indian man. This was in response to foreign bots on Twitter being revealed. This is what I mean. Kulinski is not a racist, but it shows an ongoing degeneration. On the contrary, I remember becoming interested in socialist politics around 2019-2020 and reading an article that was being shared about Otto Neurath’s concept of a planned economy. I think the article was called *How to Make a Pencil* by Aaron Benanav. This is impossible to do today because the discourse is now dominated by slop machines.
  
  Another issue that we had was that around 2016-2018, demands such as Medicare for all were popular but nobody had a realistic path to making these a reality. This is why *the movement* became important, we had to tie it to a larger *political struggle* rather than reducing it a naive, economistic wish list.
  
  It is not just MAGA, but the left is losing their mind and becoming cowardly and, yes, right wing.
  
  The second Trump presidency has the opposite effect of the first, it is putting pressure to lower standards, not raise them. To confuse and bombard, rather than clarify.
  
  How do people have such short memories? And will it ever reverse, our situation?
  
  I think the left is regressing. We are becoming populist (but not really working to make the masses conscious), economistic, celebrity-oriented and politically naive. This is not engaging because it does not present a radical idea of \*freedom\* the way the fully developed socialist left does, it is just being outraged at things.
  
  The left is giving up on freedom. We can hope this will not last.
  
  **People mentioned or cited:**
  
  \[1\] Chris Smalls, former leader of Amazon Union
  
  \[2\] Jaz Brisack, organizer of Starbucks Union
  
  \[3\] William Z. Foster, American communist
  
  \[4\] Zohran Mamdani, American socialist and DSA politician
  
  \[5\] Axel Danielsson, Swedish social-democrat
  
  \[6\] Otto Neurath, socialist economist who worked for Weimar Germany, Hungarian Soviet Republic and Vienna circle
  
  \[7\] Aaron Benanav, Professor of Sociology at Syracuse University, argues from a Marxist perspective
  
  \[8\] Kyle Kulinski, host of Secular Talk
  
  \[9\] Matt Bernstein, left leaning YouTuber who covers culture and news
  
  \[10\] Hasan Piker, socialist YouTuber
  
  **Edit / feedback:** one commenter says that liberalism is out of touch with reality as he says. While the analysis presented here is that of a leftist, it can be agreed that perhaps liberal discourse has influence on leftist discourse. I do not really consider this directly in my original post.
  
  **Edit / feedback:** the left is not entirely at fault for what is referred to here as the slopification of political discourse. The decisive factor in the slopification tendency is the presidency of Donald Trump, and it is difficult to argue that the left’s lack of discipline is the greater or more important variable. It follows, rather than leads.","[{'e1': 'Chris Smalls', 'e2': 'the leader of the Amazon Union ', 'relation': ' became ', 'condition': 'in 2023'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' interested in socialist politics', 'relation': 'remember becoming', 'condition': ' around 2019-2020'}, {'e1': ' demands such as Medicare for all', 'e2': 'popular', 'relation': ' were ', 'condition': ' around 2016-2018'}]"
112,P0113,1rlfj8q,"I understand that we are often downstream of the US, and that as the Wests foremost military and economic power, what happens politically there is important 
  
  So I'm not arguing we don't cover American politics, or even slightly over index on it when it directly affects us.
  
  But particularly when Trump is in office, we can go entire weeks where US domestic politics is headline news on the BBC, Guardian, Telegraph etc. 
  
  When I was young I didn't know, or care what a republican or democrat was. Now I know people in Britain who've literally fallen out because they support different American political parties. 
  
  In my humble opinion, most US politics is pure theatre. He said, she said, blues Vs reds tribalism. As Frank Zappa once put it; 'government is just the entertainment wing for the military industrial complex' (you can probably add in oil and gas, pharma and a few other powerful lobbies too). 
  
  The media division is so rife in the US I really don't want to see that exported (no more than it already has). Particularly the parts that just seem like an elongated soap opera - like, why the hell do I even know who characters like Marjorie Taylor Green or JD Vance or AOC or Gavin Newsom or Pete Buttigieg are? 
  
  I'm not sure what I've missed here but keen to hear some steel man arguments for why our own domestic issues take a back seat to US ones. Or why Washington is some shining city on a hill we all need to look up to and learn from politically.","[{'e1': ' we', 'e2': 'US domestic politics is headline news on the BBC, Guardian, Telegraph etc. ', 'relation': ' can go entire weeks where ', 'condition': 'when Trump is in office'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a republican or democrat was', 'relation': ""didn't know, or care what "", 'condition': 'When I was young '}, {'e1': ' most US politics', 'e2': 'pure theatre.', 'relation': ' is ', 'condition': 'In my humble opinion'}]"
113,P0114,1rlm8vx,"Pretty much the title.
  
  At some point, you've got enough profits or market dominance to purchase militia and impact history. If we are to effectively see class division restore towards a balance, those gains can't simply be an ever-escalating pursuit of money and power.
  
  In a supposed democracy (rep democracy, I know), the 99.99% of people could probably agree to this in like a, sure, duh, why not sort of way. And, the powers that be have divided the people in a way where we waste hours online just, arguing at each other like it means something, but it's just distraction, smoke, and mirrors. Our values used to hold compromise and coming together even if maybe you and I sorta kind of dislike each other for different reasons. We all still saw the human in each other, but now we have echo chambers that say ""oh they are the problem"". To say that isn't driven by money and economy and the pursuit of fiscal power, would be, well, reckless ngl.
  
  I get that in a capitalism environment, people can choose to not want that high-end oversight because they are duped into the idea that they could reach the top if they try hard enough, and so if the general-I just let the system play out like it does, maybe *I* will be the lucky one. But that's as foolish as playing the lottery, if not more.
  
  And it's clearly not working that way. So, even if there is an underlying, individualistic drive for leaving an open-ended lack of regulation/oversight/power tether, the fact it isn't working should be more appealable to the masses, who could come together, talk, and work out the fact that we would all actually do a bit better, on average, even if just a little bit, if private entities like the big ones were legally required to chip in even a sliver of those earnings. 
  Even Rockefeller is known for giving back in substantial ways, which, I'm not informed well enough to know how much of that is whitewashed vs how much the lasting foundation actually did, but my point being, in healthy theory I'm using this as an example.
  
  Soo....what am I not seeing here as to why that's a bad idea. CMV.
  
  Edit to add my other point: I don't believe nonprofits which are just the same corporate loop of the for-profits, like nonprofit arms and corporate partners, really count to show public philanthropy. Those are just rife with corruption and tit-for-tat. The whole point of government should be what the non-profit world is for: aiding public causes. Instead we treat it as a tax-dumpster loophole.
  
  Edit 2: Quite a post engagement, appreciate the comments, all, and whoever gave me that award I appreciate it, if anyone else feels tempted to award this, maybe donate it to a noble cause instead though, or feel free to DM me for my preferred nonprofit of choice in mind, but I don't need the reddit pixels, but I def appreciate the thought!
  
  I need to step away from my pc for a couple hours, anyone know if the mods are cool with that?
  
  If someone wants to batch some of the responses for me, I'm happy to reply to the common/recurring ones where I haven't already. I'm not sure how effective I will be replying to the other uhh 40-50 or so comments at a healthy pace, esp. where I'm seeing some comments which are duplicates, so I think boiling some down to hit the points would be nice. I don't feel anything has woo'd me for a delta just yet, and I think there are some common assumptions as misconceptions that I probably. haven't gotten too yet because I feel they might be too much of strawmen for the content of my post, or answered elsewhere by me. I think a consolidated comment would be most time-effective way for me to continue my points","[{'e1': ' those gains ', 'e2': 'an ever-escalating pursuit of money and power.', 'relation': ""can't simply be "", 'condition': ' If we are to effectively see class division restore towards a balance'}, {'e1': ' the 99.99% of people ', 'e2': ' a, sure, duh, why not sort of way.', 'relation': 'could probably agree to this in like', 'condition': 'In a supposed democracy'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the top ', 'relation': 'could reach ', 'condition': 'if they try hard enough'}, {'e1': '*I* ', 'e2': 'the lucky one', 'relation': 'will be ', 'condition': ' if I just let the system play out like it does,'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': ' a bit better, on average, even if just a little bit, ', 'relation': 'would all actually do', 'condition': 'if private entities like the big ones were legally required to chip in even a sliver of those earnings. '}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ""the common/recurring ones where I haven't already"", 'relation': 'am happy to reply to ', 'condition': 'If someone wants to batch some of the responses for me'}]"
114,P0115,1rln2ok,"I see people shaming others for losing weight with the help of GLP-1s like Wegovy, Zepbound, and Ozempic. These drugs are one of the best medical finds of the 21st century. Obviously people should have a healthy diet and at least be partially active, but obesity is a huge problem in the US and in the Middle East. If these drugs become more affordable and less stigmatized, we could eliminate obesity.
  
  Also, recent news are starting to show it helps with withdrawal symptoms from addicts, and now they are about to do further testing. For some reason, people feel like this drug is a cheat code or using it delegitimizes your weight loss. But weight loss is weight loss. This isnt even accounting for the benefits it has for diabetes.
  
  You can change my view by showing reasonable evidence that GLP 1s shouldn't be encouraged.","[{'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'obesity', 'relation': 'could eliminate ', 'condition': 'If these drugs become more affordable and less stigmatized'}]"
115,P0116,1rlt4yv,"I understand the desire for international law. It would be nice if the world could just sing kumbaya every time the UN met and everyone came to an agreement on the major issues facing humanity. But unfortunately, that’s not how things work.
  
  In reality, the system is dominated by the states that have the most power (US, Russia, China) and state who have veto power in the UN Security Council (US, Russia, China). Because of that, they can’t really be bound by international law in any meaningful sense. Who is actually going to stop them?
  
  On top of that, these states fundamentally disagree on major political and ideological issues, which means there will never be real consensus on what international “law” actually is.
  
  In my opinion, the only way true international law could exist would be if there were a genuine world government with an executive authority capable of enforcing laws on the ground across the globe. But I don’t think anyone wants this.
  
  So my conclusion is that the UN is basically being held together by the threat of nuclear warfare and the possibility of human extinction. As long as nuclear weapons exist, the major powers have an incentive to maintain some kind of diplomatic framework. But if that underlying threat somehow disappeared, I think the UN would crumble almost instantly.
  
  How do we solve the problem of nukes? I have no idea, (and apparently no one else does). So the UN will probably continue to exist. But in practice, it feels more like a puppet show than a system that actually governs anything—and anyone who thinks it is truly law in the world is, in my view, mistaken.","[{'e1': 'true international law ', 'e2': 'exist', 'relation': 'could ', 'condition': ' if there were a genuine world government with an executive authority capable of enforcing laws on the ground across the globe'}, {'e1': ' the major powers ', 'e2': 'an incentive to maintain some kind of diplomatic framework', 'relation': 'have ', 'condition': 'As long as nuclear weapons exist'}, {'e1': 'the UN ', 'e2': 'crumble almost instantly.', 'relation': 'would ', 'condition': 'if that underlying threat somehow disappeared,'}]"
116,P0117,1rltve8,"I appreciate his work making diabetes supplies more affordable, but the reality is, until this condition is cured, all the most state of the art diabetes supplies in the world won’t prevent the constant delicate balance and tradeoff between high blood sugar that slowly takes years off your life and low blood sugar that can get you killed then and there.
  
  Embryonic stem cell research offered an opportunity to cure this condition altogether, and Catholicism stood in the way, over a “life begins at conception” philosophy most adherents would not have applied to the same in vitro fertilization processes that supply some of these zygotes. It isn’t the only branch of this, but it is the most mainstream one, and it’s built on the same book the others are. Even denominations that don’t have this blind spot could have another comparably severe blind spot in the future on some other issue if it is build on the shaky foundation that is an internally contradictory holy book. Should a duly elected member of congress be encouraging that?
  
  When low income voters vote for politicians who hurt the poor, it’s seen as “voting against their own interests” even though no one is on solid ground to define one’s own interests but oneself. When it’s diabetics supporting religion, not a peep. Why the discrepancy?","[{'e1': ' all the most state of the art diabetes supplies in the world ', 'e2': ' the constant delicate balance and tradeoff between high blood sugar that slowly takes years off your life and low blood sugar that can get you killed then and there.', 'relation': 'won’t prevent', 'condition': 'until this condition is cured'}, {'e1': ' it', 'e2': '“voting against their own interests”', 'relation': ' is seen as ', 'condition': 'When low income voters vote for politicians who hurt the poor'}]"
117,P0118,1rlv67k,"Invading or staging attacks on sovereign countries is a major historical precedent for US. The reasons are typically to counter a foreign nation’s communist or nationalist (or just unwillingness to bow down to the US) government. Examples of which include Vietnam, Angola, Cuba, DRC, etc. Which implies that the US government does indeed have an interest in invading Iran. Though it’s certain Israel has an influence since it’s our ally, and it’s a violent expansionist state, Israel does not “control” our government. The interests of empowering our ally, Israel, through this war does imply that we are “going to war for Israel.” But it’s not because Israel has decided this for us, but because top American officials want this. Every Zionist politician in our government is willing, and benefits from Israeli-American relations. Most notably, Trump. Plus, Marco Rubio and Pete Hegseth are both war mongers like Netanyahu.
  
  Point is, in a time of great upheaval, Americans want any sign that their country is actually not as bad as it is. They want an external force to be at blame for their ignoble politicians. Israel strives because it‘s advantageous to the American government. Overall, there isn’t enough acknowledgment and critique examining America’s strategic and intentional investment in Israel, which renders the American government as helplessly controlled by a zionist regime. Any accountability is mostly pointed at America’s attack dog, and summed up in “We are sending billions to Israel‘s genocide,” without any explanation as to why American politicians are soooo compliant with mass murder and colonialism.
  
  Furthermore, and probably most important, recent anti-war rhetoric from Americans only includes the “our poor brother and sisters \[US soldiers\].“ Who, I believe, are only victims of the state, but not really the victims we should sympathise with, as they are, concurrently, the perpetrators. American soldiers aided in murdering around 180 Iranian school children. Yet, any anti-war rhetoric focuses solely on their killers. Which is nothing new. US soldiers have directly carried out many war crimes under the US government’s command. Such crimes include the bombing of Cambodia, which slaughtered 150,000+ civilians. And the thousands that died in the US force’s terrorisation of Iraq. US soldiers invade foreign lands, US soldiers demolish, and kill innocents. If they aren’t doing it, then who is?
  
  I find the rhetoric surrounding this discourse deeply disturbing. Most dissenting Americans have made the hundreds of thousands of palestinian children that have been slaughtered apart of their resistance against Israel. However, the resistance is clearly not for moral reasons as it is for personal reasons (which I think they ought to be). Israel’s genocide is acknowledged because Americans feel personally affected (“billions of tax paying money spent“ etc. you’ve heard it). Israel’s wickedness and incredible influence over our government also provides an effective scapegoat for American discontent. This is even more true given current reactions to the bombing of the school in Iran. Most of American outrage (as I’ve witnessed) isn’t due to the literal slaughter of children simply attending school, but the idea that US soldiers are victims of ”having” to carry out attacks (which is such an old sentiment I’m sad to see my gen. perpetuating it). American soldiers are only an extension of this state‘s imperialist aims.
  
  And though we do not know their names, those Iranian children deserve more recognition and sympathy than they are receiving, certainly more than their executioners (Israeli and American soldiers).
  
  If there’s any opposing and convincing viewpoint, feel free to let it loose. I’d love to believe my fellow countrymen aren’t as solipsistic towards other nationalities as they are.","[{'e1': 'US soldiers ', 'e2': 'many war crimes ', 'relation': 'have directly carried out ', 'condition': 'under the US government’s command'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'let it loose', 'relation': 'should feel free to ', 'condition': 'If there’s any opposing and convincing viewpoint'}]"
118,P0119,1rlwqjw,"EDIT: I have awarded 3 deltas. 
  
  The first two is that evaporative cooling uses a lot of water and takes it out of the system because it goes into the air. It does not go into a purification system where it can be re-used. There are other cooling systems that can be used - so AI water usage does not need to use it, but it can and may use it. And I awarded a point to a person who convinced me that use of the other cooling systems will not be required by law since it is not for other industries. Therefore it is only reasonable to conclude that evaporative cooling will be used.
  
  The third delta is that datacenters are not competitive and use the same infrastructure such as internet access. That makes it so that many datacenters are built in the same area instead of being spread out as is common with other industrial facilities. This makes the water usage impact of datacenters much more concentrated in a local area, and it is a fairly unique issue for datacenters (AI and otherwise). This makes it much more likely that AI datacenters will cause significant water usage problems for a local area.
  
  ===
  
  First, I am using AI to mean LLMs. 
  
  Second, I am limiting this to AI water usage. This is not about the moral or practical value of AI, or its electrical usage. Debates about AI tend to swirl in lots of directions with the goal posts being moved around as convenient. So this is only about AI water usage.
  
  There are two possible claims about AI water usage:
  
  A: AI water usage is bad, therefore AI is bad.
  
  B: AI is bad, therefore AI water usage is bad.
  
  I believe that the claims that AI water usage is bad is based on statement B - but it is being used as a circular argument: AI is bad because of its water usage and AI water usage is bad because it is for AI.
  
  So I am looking to have my mind changed that AI water usage is in and of itself egregious. It poisons the water or in some other way damages the environment, or its water usage is so great that it is inherently a problem.
  
  If AI water usage is poisoning the water, then it need only do so to a significant degree to make AI water usage bad.
  
  If AI water usage is supposed to be bad based upon the volume of its usage - then that is only the case if its volume is among the greatest water usage. 
  
  If AI water usage is not the top water usage and is considered worse than things with higher water usage (such as agriculture) because the benefits of AI are less then the benefits of agriculture that goes back to the circular argument - AI is bad because of its water usage which is bad because AI is bad.
  
  This does not have to be on a global or even countrywide scale. If AI usage is egregious at a local scale that is a potential problem. The question then becomes if this is a general problem with AI or if it is isolated incidents. It need not be inherent in AI if the standard implementation has this problem, being inherent in the AI industry is sufficient to make its water usage a problem.
  
  And I particularly am interested in how AI water usage compares with other datacenter usage such as streaming video and the internet in general. Is AI water usage egregious but the rest of the internet is not for some reason other than a value judgement about AI and the rest of the internet?","[{'e1': ' it', 'e2': 'a significant degree to make AI water usage bad.', 'relation': ' need only do so to ', 'condition': 'If AI water usage is poisoning the water'}, {'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'the case if its volume is among the greatest water usage. ', 'relation': 'is only ', 'condition': 'If AI water usage is supposed to be bad based upon the volume of its usage'}, {'e1': ' the benefits of agriculture ', 'e2': 'the circular argument - AI is bad because of its water usage which is bad because AI is bad.', 'relation': 'then goes back to ', 'condition': 'If AI water usage is not the top water usage and is considered worse than things with higher water usage (such as agriculture) because the benefits of AI are less'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'a potential problem', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': ' If AI usage is egregious at a local scale '}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'AI', 'relation': 'need not be inherent in ', 'condition': ' if the standard implementation has this problem, being inherent in the AI industry is sufficient to make its water usage a problem'}]"
119,P0120,1rlzsjr,"No changes can be made today that affect anything in any major way. Any changes made \*must\* be done at the local level. Your townhall meetings, your zoning boards, your city council boards. We as a society must be more careful of how new politicians are made, and guided into office. In 20 years \*those\* people will be the ones to enact change. However it requires forethought and abandoning quick fix thinking.
  
  And those small races are the ones with the least attendance. Who knows the name of their alderman? Head of zoning? Chief of the fire department? Head of the sheriff's department? Those are the people that with time will end up elevated to state or national levels of control.
  
  Really just trying to find out how we fix stuff if everyone that is supposed to do the fixing is tied to the mistakes. Any vote today replaces like for like, both sides of the aisle.","[{'e1': ' \\*those\\* people', 'e2': 'the ones to enact change', 'relation': ' will be ', 'condition': ' In 20 years'}]"
120,P0121,1rmbcyv,"I'm referring to the type of window's switch that when you press it the car window goes up or down until u press the opposite direction slightly, unless u press it lightly at first.
  
  I just can't get used to it, i never seem to be able to control it nicely and always end up going up and down until i eventually manage to stop the window at the desired height.
  
  It should be abolished or at least deactivatable because i find it more distracting then just holding the switch down or up until the window is perfectly set to the desired height. I end up losing more time and also get nervous just to open a damn window, this makes me so mad, how did they not understand how bad this is? But maybe that's just me.
  
  Also i imagine myself trying to open the window while on a highway and maybe for some reason have to put both of my hands back on the steering wheel while the window keeps going down with the wind increasingly striking on my face cuz the window keeps going down, when maybe i just wanted to get just a little air come in cuz it's too hot or i'm getting fog on my front glass.
  
  What i want to know is if it's just me and i'm just bad at controlling it or maybe someone else find this annoying and dangerous.
  It could easily be that i'm not skilled enough or maybe it's just the 2 or 3 cars with this system that i tried that are bad designed. 
  
  Am i missing something? What do you think ?
  
  Also i hope i wrote in sufficently good english, it's not my first language.
  
  ------------------------ Edit:
  
  I'm changing my view and i get why it's mostly my issue:
  
  1) I rarely open the window 100%, i prefer to have it just slightly open most of the times. It looks like i'm in the minority about this.
  
  2) Most people seem to find it easy to control the Windows with this feature, so that's probably my issue cuz i probably drove a couple of cars with auto up/down that have bad or worn out switches. I like to think it's not a skill issue of mine seen the amount of time i used to drive this 2 cars and also my girlfriend having my same opinion.
  
  3) I get why people think it's not more dangerous than using radio controls or fiddly Ac controls, probably due to the difference in quality of the switches most people have. I end up going up and down with the switch multiple times trying to stop it, to not have it completely open or closed. Usually people with this Window's feature don't have to struggle so much, so it's not so distracting to them.","[{'e1': ' the car window ', 'e2': ' up or down ', 'relation': 'goes', 'condition': 'when you press it'}, {'e1': ' the car window ', 'e2': ' up or down ', 'relation': 'goes', 'condition': 'until u press the opposite direction slightly'}, {'e1': ' the car window ', 'e2': ' up or down ', 'relation': 'goes', 'condition': 'unless u press it lightly at first.'}]"
121,P0122,1rn0jfy,"I’ve been thinking about this for a while
  
  Whenever the MCU adapts superheroes they always try to make the suit practical or realistic, adding lines and other stuff. The worst of these is Eternals, for those who don’t remember Eternals was a movie about these entities who are sent to take down threats to their gods and the costumes are just the worst aspects of making suits ”work in live action” muted colors, overcomplication, and just so much junk on it 
  
  But then you look at Batman from Tim Burton, it didn’t have any of the over complicated lines or tried to look practical, it wasnt even comic accurate but it worked because, it was stylized; it took a fantastical concept like Batman and didn’t try to give him a realistic suit, they didn’t think “hmmm, why WOULD someone wear this?“ they didn’t think of all that, it focused on elecating the style of Gotham, and you can see that also with the Sam raimi spiderman movies, they didn’t try to make it practical, they redesigned it sure but they also kept it true to the comics while giving it its own spin
  
  I was watching video by Alex Ross (a very famous superhero artist who makes paintings of superheroes) where he talked about adapting Batman, and he spoke of an idea that stuck with me, “Superheroes aren’t pratical, they’re fantasy” and stuck to me like a chord 
  
  
  I mean I like the lines, but I won’t lie but every suit feels so generic and every time they make a suit that’s accurate to the costumes (Thor’s comic suit in the Thor 4 montage, that infamous scene in Jessica Jones shows off her Jewel costume, Wanda and Vision’s Halloween costumes) they just sort of poke fun at it at how ridiculous it is whike also having ridiculous costumes (Thor’s entire costume in Thor 4) 
  
  
  We don’t need lines or constant bs all over it, just adapt the costumes how they are with your own spin without overcomplecating everything (the Spidey suit in Brand New Day) 
  
  with chatacters as ridiculous like Rocket Raccoon, we need to stop trying to make these suits “realistic” and embrace the fantasy of it all
  
  
  I just want someone to talk to about tjis honestly","[{'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the suit practical or realistic', 'relation': 'always try to make ', 'condition': 'Whenever the MCU adapts superheroes '}]"
122,P0123,1rn3u34,"Many belief systems describe their Gods in terms of total knowledge, total presence, and total power. While these descriptions aim to inspire awe and confidence, I think they unintentionally shift faith away from its most meaningful core.
  
  Faith, as I understand it, is less about accepting perfect metaphysical claims and more about trust, commitment, humility, and lived experience. When belief becomes centered on defending or rationalizing the existence of an invisible omni-God, it risks turning into an abstract intellectual exercise rather than a transformative personal orientation (which would be much more beneficial for religions).
  
  Further, the claims that God is everywhere and is invisible further divides this relationship. An analogy that (albeit has its problems regarding context) highlights this distinction is that in any other context, someone referring to a mythical creature which watches them all the time, knows what they have and/or will do and is all powerful, would most likely be sent to the psych ward.
  
  
  
  For clarity, I am by no means an atheist (agnostic leaning towards Christianity/Quakerism) but I do question my faith. I am by no means trying to insult religions, or belittle them in anyway. I’m open to changing my view if someone can show that emphasizing the existence of a God (that is inherently difficult to prove) meaningfully deepens faith rather than deterring from it, or that faith fundamentally requires these Gods to remain coherent.","[{'e1': 'Many belief systems ', 'e2': 'their Gods ', 'relation': 'describe ', 'condition': 'in terms of total knowledge, total presence, and total power'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'an abstract intellectual exercise rather than a transformative personal orientation', 'relation': 'risks turning into ', 'condition': 'When belief becomes centered on defending or rationalizing the existence of an invisible omni-God'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'changing my view ', 'relation': 'am open to ', 'condition': 'if someone can show that emphasizing the existence of a God (that is inherently difficult to prove) meaningfully deepens faith rather than deterring from it'}]"
123,P0124,1rn6wfr,"I don't understand why we don't have an incentive that rabies must be put into an end immediately when it's literally one of the most dangerous and deadliest diseases in the world yet we are not putting an active plan of exterminating the entire thing like what we just did with smallpox.
  
  Yes it's not as common in the wealthier nations but it still pretty much is and still poses a large threat to the poorer nations of the world.
  
  People and animals are still vulnerable to it and deaths still happen to them because of this wretched disease that we have gone complacent against just because it has become ""rare"" enough that it doesn't bother people from the nations capable of eradicating it because cases of it are rather rare.
  
  But I don't think it's rare, it's still common and I believe it will continue to be so until we actually put an effort to eradicating it. People are still dying from this disease and yet their voices are unheard, even if they are they are already walking corpses anyway when the symptoms start up.
  
  It's not just a bite, you can also get this disease from a scratch as well which makes matters worse. I wouldn't even be surprised if it can spread in other means as well like eating which actually surprises me that it rabies doesn't spread like that.
  
  It's nothing like most infections because it's irreversible with a 100% fatality rate with only a few miracle exceptions and even them those that survived ended up suffering damage beyond repair and I pity them for it.
  
  It doesn't help that I also developed a stigmatized view towards stray animals to the point where I start whining when I get to close to them or vice versa because of my rabies fear as someone who lives in a third world country. Hell it had gotten so bad that I literally started calling strays ""rabers"" at one point because I've grown so scared of them because of rabies.
  
  I don't want to live in fear anymore about this disease but I have no other choice but to accept it's existence but I don't want to which is why I am more repulsed towards cats and dogs (especially dogs) because this disease is a major factor.
  
  The reason why I believe that rabies is capable of putting an end to us is because of my conspiracy theory thinking that rabies is more than capable of wreaking havoc in so many communities with it's sheer destructive capability simply because of its ability to spread through animals and make them aggressive and in turn cursed people into going through inevitable painful deaths either due to not knowing any better or just can't afford a vaccine.
  
  Rabies is dangerous and we are fools to be complacent, we need to get our mind at track to curing it as soon as possible or we will remain screwed over and people will continue to die from it.
  
  I don't have the means to organize a movement to push for rabies eradication but I do hope that the powers that be and the scientist would consider pushing for the cure of this and finally give rabies the status it deserves. 
  
  To become the second smallpox.","[{'e1': 'it ', 'e2': ' common ', 'relation': 'is not', 'condition': 'in the wealthier nations'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': ' I believe it will continue to be so ', 'relation': 'is still common and', 'condition': 'until we actually put an effort to eradicating it'}]"
124,P0125,1rnewgz,"I feel like a lot of people still believe that you can only be born gay, as in it's not a choice no matter the situation. I disagree, I think it's fairly obvious you can, in fact, discover, explore, and by its repetition become gay (or thus Bi)
  
  This (unfortunately) also means that people who are against showing gay or related media to children specifically are right, because these media *can*, in fact, inspire or spark an interest in exploring that part of their sexuality. However, if they never did get introduced to those mediums, whether it's by choice or not, as they age the possibility is *higher* they will remain in their now programmed hetero/straight ways. *In a way*, this means there is a ''choice'' whether it's schools/media or us to dive into that side if our society pressures allow us. This of course, doesn't apply to all.
  
  \- Plenty Of Female Prisons, male prison documentaries, stories of women saying they were completely straight, never felt any sexual attraction towards women but as they stayed in all female facilities - eventually turned completely Bi. Same applies for men in prisons, they never had an actual sexual reaction to a man outside of prison, but inside as they explored the possibility deeper in their minds, attempted it, have thus programmed their body to recognize a man as also being sexually stimulated = became Bi.
  
  \- This won't do much to convince ya'll, but I have 2 friends who reported the same, eventually became so addicted to P, they started to dive into Gay P\*rn. Eventually, they accepted that they learned to get aroused by it, started dating a man in real life, and now identify as Bi/Gay. Had never felt arousal from men before.
  
  I have a secret deeper theory: in that we are all at least a bit ambisexual (?) or bi in every sense of the word. I can get even more controversial with this statement and apply it even to age, but I won't go that far.
  
  I am fully accepting of any sexuality, but I do have this thought. Thoughts?","[{'e1': ' the possibility ', 'e2': ' their now programmed hetero/straight ways', 'relation': 'is *higher* they will remain in', 'condition': "" if they never did get introduced to those mediums, whether it's by choice or not""}]"
125,P0126,1rngm8c,"This is something that I believe is too normalized in today's (at least American) society, and something that I believe it also perpetuated by pop culture and media as well. To start off my post I'm gonna refer to The Office to illustrate my point.
  
  In Season 2 Ep 1 of The Office, there is a scene in the episode where, at the Dundies, Pam gets drunk and gives Jim a big kiss. Mind you, Pam is engaged to Roy in this moment. Both the show, the characters, and largely the audience think little of it and push it to the side saying that, since Pam was drunk, it's no matter and not a big deal. I am here to say that, in that moment, Pam cheated on Roy.
  
  I have arrived to this opinion because I truly do not believe that being under the influence should be able to exonerate you from any act that would otherwise unfaithful. Let's look at some other examples-
  
  If you get into a car accident while drunk, will the authorities let you off the hook because you were under the influence? After all, it was just a drunken mistake. What about if you shoplifted while drunk? What about getting into a physical altercation? Do people who do these things get reduced punishments because they are under the influence? Obviously not
  
  If this is how we think of crimes being committed while under the influence, then why does the line of infidelity suddenly become blurry when someone's drunk? Where is the line suddenly moved to when you are drunk? What's ok and what's not now? Is it excusable to kiss someone while drunk? What about make out? What about doing something sexual? Where is the line drawn?
  
  Because of this, being drunk should not ever to any point exonerate someone from cheating on their partner or being unfaithful in any capacity, with my only exception being if they are intoxicated beyond the point where they can reasonably consent.","[{'e1': ' being drunk ', 'e2': ' exonerate someone from cheating on their partner or being unfaithful in any capacity ', 'relation': 'should not ever to any point', 'condition': 'with my only exception being if they are intoxicated beyond the point where they can reasonably consent.'}]"
126,P0127,1rnid9l,"I understand the need of copyright protection, but I feel like this current model of death of the creator + X years used in most countries is way too strict and just limits us having artistic freedom.
  
  Having it limited to 10 years would allow the creator to make money off their work, and then let anyone create stories using that IP. I personally don't think this would hurt anyone, because:
  
  1, IPs that still generate significant amount of money after 10 years already made their creators rich, and it's not like people will stop liking the original for e.g. Star Wars or Lord of The Rings, just because anyone can now write stories with those characters and those worlds. So these works will still keep making money even after entering public domain.
  
  2, IPs that barely make money anymore after 10 years, will not really be affected either way with this change, in fact maybe having it as public domain could even boost the original works popularity.
  
  Disclaimer: To add to this, I think it should be allowed to use the characters, worlds, any unique IP created by the original artist or group of artists, but for e.g. merchandise right should still be owned by them even after 10 years, I solely mean the creative rights to create art should be free for all after 10 years
  
  
  EDIT: You would still own the actual work you created, so with Game of Thrones as an example, if HBO wanted to adapt the work, they would need to pay a licensing fees. BUT","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'a licensing fees', 'relation': 'would need to pay ', 'condition': ' if HBO wanted to adapt the work'}, {'e1': ' that', 'e2': ' allowed.', 'relation': ' would be', 'condition': 'if they wanted to create a completely different story in Westeros'}]"
127,P0128,1rnl3wc,"[https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/07/politics/iran-war-prediction-markets-polymarket-kalshi](https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/07/politics/iran-war-prediction-markets-polymarket-kalshi)
  
  ""Death markets"" are immoral because they incentivize people to go out and make the bets true.
  
  Prediction markets cannot really be confined to prediction**.** They incentivize fulfillment of either side of the bet. There's a reason there has to be laws against athletes participating in sports betting.
  
  But new legislation is difficult to pass limiting novel uses of prediction markets, because legislation is difficult to pass, period. Those who shape legislation are also the very people who have insider information and stand to benefit from loose policy on prediction markets, and will obstruct new legislation.
  
  However, self-interest can be made to work in favor of ending death markets.
  
  Self-interest of the owners/founders of prediction markets themselves.
  
  There should be bets placed on the deaths of the owners/founders of prediction markets.
  
  That would get them to change things right quick.
  
  Because sometimes you have to walk, or be made to walk, a mile in someone else's moccasins.
  
  **Does not violate Rule D**
  
  This is not advocating harm to prediction markets' owners. What's being advocated is placing bets on it. Two different things ...... but if I'm wrong about this, then I'm right about my larger point.","[{'e1': '""Death markets"" ', 'e2': 'immoral ', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'because they incentivize people to go out and make the bets true.'}, {'e1': 'new legislation ', 'e2': 'novel uses of prediction markets', 'relation': 'is difficult to pass limiting ', 'condition': 'because legislation is difficult to pass'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'my larger point.', 'relation': 'am right about ', 'condition': ""if I'm wrong about this""}]"
128,P0129,1rntkwe,"***Conservatives*** generally are worried by wasteful and costly spending, while ***progressives*** are worried by how the state, always seems to appeal to wealthy interests first and foremost over anyone else. So I think this very idea could bring them both together. The *Epstein* international blackmail and pedophile ring has brought this idea to the forefront for me, with me now leaning toward the realm of ant-corporate libertarian thought. According to the *U.S Government Accountability Office; Medicare (54.3B and Medicaid (31.1B)* payments were improper, and in all these agencies ran by government there’s been a whopping 2.8 trillion improper payment total since 2003. One study done by Harvard suggested by a significant margin that government intervention within non-profit organizations led to more inefficiency and dense bureaucratic layers in the long run. (Frumkin, Kim 15).
  
  In the aftermath of the ‘Great Recession’ one study said that nonprofits expressed issues with how late payments, changes to government contracts, burdensome reporting requirements, and complex application when it came to government exerting political power over them. (Pettijohn, Boris 4)
  
  When the wealthy and elites can manipulate the state by diverting resources, weakening oversight through lax enforcement or siphoning funds through crony contracts, it props up a system that supports powerful interests rather than the common people or the working class. It concentrates power. Thus I suggest nonprofit community-run safety nets through taxpayers allocated through conditional grants. Funds are given based on outcomes. Communities hold these organizations accountable, not politicians.
  
  I’m pretty distrustful of both central government parties at the moment and I don’t trust corporations in the slightest, so I’m wondering if you can change my view that political power should instead be directed toward nonprofits held accountable by communities foremost over politicians or donors. (Sources: [ https://www.gao.gov/fraud-improper-payments ](https://www.gao.gov/fraud-improper-payments). [ https://nonprofitquarterly.org/new-study-low-nonprofit-overhead-does-not-greater-efficiency ](https://nonprofitquarterly.org/new-study-low-nonprofit-overhead-does-not-greater-efficiency). [ https://www.urban.org/research/publication/contracts-and-grants-between-nonprofits-and-government ](https://www.urban.org/research/publication/contracts-and-grants-between-nonprofits-and-government).)","[{'e1': 'nonprofits ', 'e2': 'late payments, changes to government contracts, burdensome reporting requirements, and complex application when it came to government exerting political power over them', 'relation': 'expressed issues with how ', 'condition': 'In the aftermath of the ‘Great Recession’ '}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': ' a system that supports powerful interests rather than the common people or the working class.', 'relation': 'props up', 'condition': 'When the wealthy and elites can manipulate the state by diverting resources, weakening oversight through lax enforcement or siphoning funds through crony contracts'}]"
129,P0130,1rnw5cq,"Putting Israel aside, although I feel like that’s a major risk factor as well. Just focusing on America. 
  
  I have a strong fear that Trump will grow frustrated with the lack of success with conventional arms and decide to use a nuclear weapon on Iran.
  
  If he backs down at this point, he’ll look weak, so I don’t see that happening. Iran also seems sufficiently riled up, and we can’t achieve peace in the region with only one side pausing their attacks.
  
  If he launches a ground invasion, it’ll turn into a quagmire due to the size/strength of Iran’s armed forces as well as the country’s mountainous terrain. Trump will be irritated with the slow progress of the war and strike what he sees as a decisive blow with nukes.
  
  I’m just an uninformed casual observer. However, it seems obvious that Trump has no restraint and loves theatrical displays of power, even if they break laws or societal norms. 
  
  Please CMV.","[{'e1': ' he ', 'e2': 'weak', 'relation': 'will look ', 'condition': 'If he backs down at this point'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'a quagmire due to the size/strength of Iran’s armed forces as well as the country’s mountainous terrain.', 'relation': 'will turn into ', 'condition': 'If he launches a ground invasion'}]"
130,P0131,1rnwhzb,"Something I have observed, and when I look at the bare necessities, let's take the first and foremost necessity for all life: quality breathable air. Inequality in access to quality breathable or even breathable air with a quality that's tolerable and not fatal to health in the long term. We have this problem because we created it, and other species face it too because of us.
  
  Now I expand the same argument to rest of the necessities human needs to live comfortably in the modern world
  
  We have SDGs for most of this, a goal is a future state/objective to be achieved, After these many years of development, we still haven't solved the problems in bare necessities required to sustain human life.
  
  Water and Food: SDG in progress
  
  Shelter: inadequate and unaffordable housing
  
  Clothing: Limited freedom of clothing for women in some countries
  
  Electricity, transport, communication, education, and employment - Common inequality in access and quality.
  
  I believe this might be due to human overpopulation and/or humanity's disregard for the value of life of its own species (but this is not primary argument now)
  
  We create a problem, then we solve the problem ourselves to appear heroic (again for ourselves) and the vicious cycle repeats over and over again and again. For the life of me I don't understand why we keep this vicious cycle running, it feels like a cruel video game.
  
  So yeah it makes me conclude that most of the problems faced by humans are created by humans themselves
  
  Please change my view, I hope I'm wrong.","[{'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'the problems in bare necessities required to sustain human life.', 'relation': ""still haven't solved "", 'condition': 'After these many years of development'}]"
131,P0132,1ro4duq,"Firstly, I hate the term NPC, I think it's insanely gross to dehumanise people as 'non player characters' as you might find in a game. 
  
  I often hear people online who are extremely tribal in their politics, calling other people who aren't 'NPC's'. 
  
  I'm going to assume you have seen examples of this in your time on reddit.
  
  I have no issues with serious and nuanced debate online, or even activism. But those who have a superiority complex because they seem to spend their lives online. Immersed in a toxic, echo chambers that obsesses over every tiny detail of their countries politics. These are the ones who seem divorced from reality and unengaged with society. 
  
  A single mother working 2 jobs, who doesn't have time to spend glued to CNN or BBC News. A entrepreneur building a business who doesn't bother with the daily soap opera of party politics. A scientist who cares more about the rings of Saturn than red Vs blue. These people are the real 
  characters in society.
  
  In reality, no one should be described as an NPC. But if anyone is going to be, it would be the basement dwelling extremists who, ironically, feel the need to call everyone else who doesn't follow the granular detail of labour Vs Tory, or republican Vs democrat an 'npc'.","[{'e1': ' no one ', 'e2': 'an NPC', 'relation': 'should be described as ', 'condition': 'In reality'}]"
132,P0133,1ro8tzt,"CMV:Trump was the greatest contributor to inflation in 2020 and 2022 between if we were just comparing what biden and trump did to cause inflation. 
  
  Trump speech in June 10th, 2023.
  Trump help cut oil production for 2 years, until 2022. (At 51m:51s). Trump states, “I had to save the oil companies. They were all going to go bust. This is the first time I ever said we got to get it up a little bit. I actually called Russia and the king of Saudi Arabia. We had a three way call. And we cut back on the oil. Because it was so Incredible.
  https://youtu.be/cAZUuai3ytM?si=_Fn6uuoN6TPknYA6
  
  Trump plays key role in brokering historic oil deal
  The president 'showed his skill at dealmaking' https://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/trump-saudi-arabia-russia-opec-oil-deal-role# “ President Trump played a key role in the historic agreement between the world’s largest oilproducers that trims global production by nearly 10 percent, according to Energy Secretary Dan Brouillette”
  
  When the deal was implemented in the end of april 2020, oil prices started rising in April 2020.
  https://tradingeconomics.com/commodity/brent-crude-oil
  
  When oil prices started rising in April 2020.
  https://www.bls.gov/charts/consumer-price-index/consumer-price-index-by-category-line-chart.htm
  
  The deal was a 2 year oil production cut until April 2022. https://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/trump-saudi-arabia-russia-opec-oil-deal-role#","[{'e1': 'Trump ', 'e2': 'the greatest contributor to inflation in 2020 and 2022 between ', 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': 'if we were just comparing what biden and trump did to cause inflation. '}, {'e1': 'Trump ', 'e2': 'oil production ', 'relation': 'help cut ', 'condition': 'for 2 years, until 2022'}, {'e1': 'Trump ', 'e2': 'key role ', 'relation': 'plays ', 'condition': 'in brokering historic oil deal'}, {'e1': 'President Trump ', 'e2': 'a key role', 'relation': 'played ', 'condition': ' in the historic agreement between the world’s largest oilproducers that trims global production by nearly 10 percent, according to Energy Secretary Dan Brouillette'}, {'e1': 'oil prices', 'e2': 'rising ', 'relation': ' started ', 'condition': 'When the deal was implemented in the end of april 2020'}, {'e1': 'oil prices', 'e2': 'rising ', 'relation': ' started ', 'condition': 'in April 2020.'}, {'e1': 'The deal ', 'e2': 'a 2 year oil production cut', 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': ' until April 2022'}]"
133,P0134,1roighw,"Support for stronger states' rights is often seen as a conservative position, and there hasn't really been much support for it in mainstream politics on either side of the aisle. I feel like states should have more power to regulate themselves to reduce polarization, governmental dysfunction, resentment of federal taxes, and generally just to satisfy the political needs of a lot of different people. States really feel like lines on a map at this point, and I think in the process we've lost a key feature of our country that our founders intended. I feel like a strong national government for a country as huge as the United States is just a bad model, but given states' rights aren't really pushed on either side of the aisle, I'd like to hear some perspectives on why that is. I'm sure there's something I'm overlooking.
  
  Basically, the national government is polarized. Congress is often gridlocked, and feels broken to the average citizen because the people in there are just so diametrically opposed. Elections are always close and the other side always resents it when they lose. Commonly proposed solutions to make the government ""work"" are really just eliminating longstanding checks and balances to make it easier for a 51% majority government to impose drastic changes on a bunch of people who don't consent to them: eliminating the filibuster, packing the Supreme Court, unitary executive theory, legislation from the bench. People overlook the fact that maybe a national government just doesn't work well at this scale and instead just want their party to be able to push the other around and for their voter base to just cry about it until they get the 1% swing state vote next election.
  
  My question is, why can't states take up the mantle and regulate in the way their populace wants? Republicans can live in red states, and Democrats can live in blue states. Red states can make red laws that the people there will all agree with-if you live in Texas, no abortion, lower taxes, subsidies for up-and-coming businesses, freer market, a conservative's utopia. Democrats can make laws that all the people *there* will agree with-high minimum wage, higher taxes, investigations into companies, pro-choice, anything a Democratic voter could want. Yes, there are divisions within the parties-not all reds or blues want the same things. But it'll still be a much better situation than what we have now, where nobody agrees with anything and people storm the capitol when they lose.
  
  This brings other benefits too. State governments are more responsive to the people, they live closer by, they can set up their own systems (state constitutions), people feel more in touch with their politicians. State congresses can have members from each district, meaning someone who lives 20 minutes from your house usually has real decision making power. Politicians have less people to worry about, and huge scandals aren't constantly tearing up the news because states worry about themselves. People often dislike federal taxation, control, and aid, especially red voters-they want to see their money being spent closer to home. With states setting taxes, that can happen.
  
  Originally, the founders intended America's federal government to be a sort of coalition between states that regulates interstate trade, military protection, currency, and foreign policy. No one state can do any of those things, so it makes sense that a national government, representative of people from those states, can come together to make decisions in those limited areas. It's clear that the federal government was intended to be far less powerful than it is now; however, an abusive interpretation of the commerce clause, plus over-delegation of power from Congress to the President (basically, procedural political hacks that the founding fathers didn't intend at all) has basically allowed the federal government to grow so powerful states can't do anything themselves. I'm basically advocating for a return of enumerated powers-why can't the federal government stick to regulating matters for the whole country, like the military? It should probably have immigration power too, since border states shouldn't be able to control immigration and prevent upper states from getting immigrants purely based on geography.
  
  States can better represent their constituents. The national government should still exist, but it should require bipartisan consensus to get things done, and it should only have the powers granted by the Constitution. Then, people will stop complaining about the President, because the federal government can maybe only do things with ⅔ consensus and only if it affects interstate trade, military, currency, etc. Something like this works in the EU pretty much. It could create political bubbles, but that could be better than arguing and even violence when different parties mix. Travel between states could mean new laws you have to deal with, but just regular travel activity where you don't live there isn't likely to run afoul of laws anyway, right?
  
  I'm open to seeing new perspectives on how this couldn't work politically, practically, or socially. Change my view!","[{'e1': 'the other side ', 'e2': 'it ', 'relation': 'always resents ', 'condition': 'when they lose'}, {'e1': 'their voter base', 'e2': ' it ', 'relation': ' to just cry about', 'condition': 'until they get the 1% swing state vote next election.'}]"
134,P0135,1rokyjf,"I came across a post recently about class warfare and people seemed to overwhelmingly view ""Millionaires"" as rich. (This post is mostly for the global north where most of you reading​ this probably live, I'm not talking globally) ​
  
  I disagree
  
  Being a millionaire in 2026, basically means you own a home, maybe a cabin and go on vacation a few times a year. Do they have some extra change in their pocket? Totally. But being able to afford nice things and being ""sway election, gobble up housing block"" rich are two VERY different things.
  
  I fundamentally disagree that millionaires (up to say 5M net worth) are ""rich"" people. They likely still had to work very hard to get where they are and ultimately, achieved the American (or Canadian) dream.
  
  I would go so far as to say, that (especially when concerning class divide) viewing millionaires outside of the working class is unproductive and ultimately alienates powerful yet still relatable people that would be beneficial in a class struggle.
  
  CMV.
  
  
  My view has been changed, today I found out I'm rich and now it's my life goal to dissuade class warfare cuz I just found out I'm on the platter. Go back to TikTok.","[{'e1': 'Being a millionaire ', 'e2': 'a home, maybe a cabin and go on vacation a few times a year', 'relation': 'basically means you own ', 'condition': ' in 2026'}]"
135,P0136,1rol70k,"I don't want this to be true, my Iraqi friend is saying it will happen and I'm starting to believe her.
  
  So the three nuclear parties in this conflict all have genuine reason to throw a nuke at each other, and while I think it would be suicide, we're not dealing with the brightest bulbs here.
  
  I'm not a believer that the USA will be the one to drop this third nuke, I think Iran will. They'll try to nuke the USA or Israel, and in that case, I can imagine Israel or the US retaliating with nukes as well in this case.
  
  There is also the fact that Trump is losing popularity and power, causing him to probably try and be desperate in winning this, and what's the ultimate reset button?
  
  Either way, I genuinely don't want this to be true. My friend lives in Iraq and if a nuke drops then she's either dying or getting severely poisoned by radiation. Also, the world would end should Russia get involved.","[{'e1': ' she', 'e2': 'dying or getting severely poisoned by radiation', 'relation': ' is either ', 'condition': 'if a nuke drops'}]"
136,P0137,1rol99n,"Being misdiagnosed can have severe consequences. You’d receive the wrong treatment. The wrong drugs. This is a serious issue that warrants suspension of this practice altogether (in my view);
  
  [fixed link to researchgate article](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/397186259_Misdiagnoses_of_mental_illnesses_in_clinical_practice_factors_and_recommendations)
  
  “Diagnostic errors are common and consequential in mental health care. For example, up to 76.8% of people with bipolar disorder and 50% with depressive disorders have been misdiagnosed, leading to delayed or inappropriate treatment and mistrust in services. Complex presentations drive confusion. Symptom overlap, high comorbidity, and the absence of objective biomarkers make differential diagnosis particularly difficult (e.g., bipolar vs. unipolar depression; schizophrenia spectrum vs. other disorders). Clinician and system pressures contribute. Time constraints, cognitive biases, variable training, and systemic incentives (e.g., diagnosis for service access) increase the risk of misclassification in everyday practice.”
  
  76.8% or 50% are disqualifying ratios to me. Like playing Russian roulette with your mental health.
  
  Websites like psychologytoday and openpathcollective list psychiatrists in their directory that have expired licenses and registration, practicing illegally. Openpath even gives them a verified badge, while only verifying them once upon registration and a one time lifetime fee of like 80$ to get listed.
  
  I think the system may be kind of broken at the moment.
  
  I think there are brilliant psychotherapists and other therapists out there, especially transpersonal and hypnotherapy.
  
  Furthermore, what is known in the DSM-V as “moral, religious or spiritual problem”—not considered a mental disorder—also known as “spiritual emergency” as coined by Stanislav Grof, one of the developer of transpersonal psychology. He states in his research paper co-authored by his wife Christina Grof;
  
  “There exists increasing evidence that many individuals experiencing episodes of nonordinary states of consciousness accompanied by various emotional, perceptual, and psychosomatic manifestations are undergoing an evolutionary crisis rather than suffering from a mental disease (Grof, 1985). The recognition of this fact has important practical and theoretical consequences. If properly understood and treated as difficult stages in a natural developmental process, these experiences—spiritual emergencies or transpersonal crises—can result in emotional and psychosomatic healing, creative problem-solving, personality transformation, and consciousness evolution. This fact is reflected in the term “spiritual emergency,” which suggests a crisis, but also suggests the potential for rising to a higher state of being.”
  
  If clinicians fail to recognize a legit spiritual emergency vs psychosis, well frankly the patient is screwed. Drugs that numb the experience and misunderstanding and label, harm to reputation that come with false diagnosis can follow someone for life.
  
  “Psychosis is a central concept in mental health, yet the concept is unclear. Clinicians are challenged with the task to be able to distinguish psychotic phenomena; however, little is known about how clinicians are able to distinguish religious/spiritual phenomena from psychotic phenomena, as both may be similar in presentation”
  
  [Fixed link to researchgate article](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/343049854_Clinicians'_Perspectives_on_Distinguishing_Between_Religious_Spiritual_and_Psychotic_Phenomena)
  
  A 2020 study found therapists often struggle (e.g., 40–60% report needing more training); misdiagnosis leads to stigma or inappropriate meds.
  
  So yeah the whole psychiatric system needs an overhaul, a the medical/insurance establishments as well for that matter. CMV, I’ll delta anyone who changes it even a little. My view is now roughly 80% negative against the current system.","[{'e1': 'Diagnostic errors ', 'e2': 'common and consequential', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': ' in mental health care'}, {'e1': 'Time constraints, cognitive biases, variable training, and systemic incentives (e.g., diagnosis for service access) ', 'e2': 'the risk of misclassification ', 'relation': 'increase ', 'condition': 'in everyday practice'}, {'e1': 'these experiences—spiritual emergencies or transpersonal crises ', 'e2': 'emotional and psychosomatic healing, creative problem-solving, personality transformation, and consciousness evolution', 'relation': 'can result in ', 'condition': 'If properly understood and treated as difficult stages in a natural developmental process'}, {'e1': 'the patient ', 'e2': 'screwed', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'If clinicians fail to recognize a legit spiritual emergency vs psychosis'}]"
137,P0138,1ronpuq,"Violence is a [contagion](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/get-psyched/201705/how-violence-spreads-contagious-disease). Due to the way people learn social behaviors -- that is, experiencing the behavior and then imitating it -- violence leads to more violence. When someone is exposed to violence it is much more likely that they then in the future act violently. It's not hard to think of places where normalized violence boiled over into wars, pogroms, genocides, and so many other social ill. We see this all over the place. Violence begets more violence. 
  
  The social consequences of violence, whatever you're using it for, are uniformly negatives. With research pointing to [increased incidences of depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, and suicide; increased risk of cardiovascular disease; and premature mortality](https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/10.1377/hlthaff.2019.00480?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori%3Arid%3Acrossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub++0pubmed). When interpersonal violence spills over into the community the outcomes can reach societal levels. It [scares people out of participating in neighborhood activities, limits business growth, strains education, justice, and medical systems, and slows community progress.](https://www.cdc.gov/community-violence/about/index.html#:~:text=The%20CDC's%20Division%20of%20Violence%20Prevention%20has,and%20medical%20systems%20*%20Slowed%20community%20progress) Violence does more harm than good in almost all cases. 
  
  If we come to conclusion that violence spreads like a contagion and that contagion is negative how can we justify acting violently except in the direst scenarios. We, in doing so, necessarily create more violence and thus more social harm.","[{'e1': 'violence ', 'e2': 'more violence', 'relation': 'leads to ', 'condition': 'Due to the way people learn social behaviors'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'they then in the future act violently', 'relation': 'is much more likely that ', 'condition': 'When someone is exposed to violence '}, {'e1': 'the outcomes ', 'e2': 'societal levels', 'relation': 'can reach ', 'condition': 'When interpersonal violence spills over into the community '}]"
138,P0139,1rorvty,"I have seen this DEI claim in several areas of reddit as people are trying to distance these people and their failures from Trump. But they were hired by Trump, whose whole persona is anti-DEI, and therefore they cannot be DEI hires, almost by definition. He must have chosen them based on their skills, right? By calling them DEI hires, you are judging their capability purely based on the way they look, and that makes you the very thing you say you don't want (racist / misogynist). You are the problem of inequality. It is a true mask off moment and the hypocrisy is infuriating.
  
  Edit: Several have commented that people even within conservative circles are ironically calling hiring for loyalty as DEI. Enough of you have pointed this out that I do now see that it is something that happens. While I find it deeply suspicious that it is Noem, Kash, and Bondi are the ones that are called out for this, I am hoping there is some truth to this, and I am now only annoyed rather than infuriated. It seems like convenient cover, and something that people could hide their true thoughts behind if they wished.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'this DEI claim', 'relation': 'have seen ', 'condition': ' in several areas of reddi'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'their capability purely based on the way they look', 'relation': 'are judging ', 'condition': ' By calling them DEI hires'}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': ' convenient cover ', 'relation': 'seems like', 'condition': 'if they wished.'}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'something that people could hide their true thoughts behind ', 'relation': 'seems like', 'condition': 'if they wished.'}]"
139,P0140,1rotvbi,"Everyone seems to default to the cloud these days. If you want to build a personal project, a blog, or a small app that uses AI, the standard advice is to pay for an OpenAI API key, rent a $15 cloud server, and maybe buy a few SaaS tools to glue it all together. It easily adds up to $40 or $50 a month just to keep a hobby project alive.
  ​I think this ""convenience tax"" is a total scam for individual creators and indie developers.
  ​I got so frustrated with renting my infrastructure that I recently moved my entire setup offline. I now pay exactly €2.75 a month for the absolute cheapest, dumbest web hosting I could find just to keep my website online. The actual ""brain"" of my project—the AI, the automation, the processing—runs completely locally on my everyday Android smartphone sitting in my pocket.
  ​When a user triggers something on my site, it silently pings my phone, my phone thinks about it using a free, local AI model, and sends the answer back.
  ​It costs me $0 per AI token. I have zero API limits. If the big tech companies raise their prices or change their terms of service tomorrow, I don't care. And because the AI runs in my pocket, I have 100% data privacy. It's digital sovereignty.
  ​I understand why massive enterprises need AWS or huge cloud clusters to scale to millions of users. But for the remaining 99% of us—hobbyists, indie devs, and small creators—why are we voluntarily locking ourselves into expensive monthly subscriptions when the devices we already own are powerful enough to run this stuff for free?
  ​Change my view: For personal projects and small-scale tech, the ""cloud default"" is an expensive trap, and we should be using local, sovereign hardware instead.","[{'e1': ' the standard advice ', 'e2': 'an OpenAI API key', 'relation': 'is to pay for ', 'condition': ' If you want to build a personal project, a blog, or a small app that uses AI'}, {'e1': ' the standard advice ', 'e2': ' a $15 cloud server', 'relation': 'is to rent', 'condition': ' If you want to build a personal project, a blog, or a small app that uses AI'}, {'e1': ' the standard advice ', 'e2': ' a few SaaS tools to glue it all together', 'relation': 'is to buy', 'condition': ' If you want to build a personal project, a blog, or a small app that uses AI'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' €2.75 a month for the absolute cheapest, dumbest web hosting I could find ', 'relation': 'now pay exactly', 'condition': 'just to keep my website online'}, {'e1': ' it', 'e2': 'my phone', 'relation': ' silently pings ', 'condition': '\u200bWhen a user triggers something on my site'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'care', 'relation': ""don't "", 'condition': 'If the big tech companies raise their prices or change their terms of service tomorrow'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': '100% data privacy.', 'relation': 'have ', 'condition': ' because the AI runs in my pocket'}]"
140,P0141,1rp4no5,"Nurture vs nature is a debate over how much of your self is built by your genetics, vs how much is built by your environment. I believe the debate falls apart when u realize the home u grow up in, and the people that raise you, are part of your environment. For example, if your parents dont like spending money, then as a child you'll grow up in an environment where spending alot of money is seen as bad, and when ur an adult ur gonna not wanna spend alot of money: some would use this as an argument for nature being a factor in who u are as an adult, but i see it as an environmental aspect. I believe if u took that kid and had him grow up wit foster parents who think spending alot is good, there wouldnt be any genetic predisposition to wanting to not spend money.","[{'e1': 'the debate ', 'e2': 'apart ', 'relation': 'falls ', 'condition': 'when u realize the home u grow up in'}, {'e1': 'the debate ', 'e2': 'apart ', 'relation': 'falls ', 'condition': 'when u realize the people that raise you, are part of your environment'}, {'e1': ' as a child ', 'e2': 'an environment where spending alot of money is seen as bad', 'relation': ""you'll grow up in "", 'condition': 'if your parents dont like spending money'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'alot of money', 'relation': 'are gonna not wanna spend ', 'condition': 'when ur an adult'}, {'e1': 'there ', 'e2': 'genetic predisposition to wanting to not spend money.', 'relation': 'wouldnt be any ', 'condition': 'if u took that kid and had him grow up wit foster parents who think spending alot is good'}]"
141,P0142,1rpg10y,"Im fairly convinced that if China had striked Iran, taken out its leaders, killed 150 school girls while in school and said its about its oil, the world would have lost its mind. There would be sanctions for it to invade a soveirgn country, despite the Ayatollah being a monstrous murderous prick
  
  I dont see how that equation changes if US is the country that is doing it? Either something is right or its wrong. Its not right when US does it but wrong when China does it?
  
  As such, I would say the rest of the world should sanction US, like Russia was sanctioned more or less,","[{'e1': ' the world ', 'e2': 'its mind', 'relation': 'would have lost ', 'condition': ' if China had striked Iran, taken out its leaders, killed 150 school girls while in school and said its about its oil,'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'that equation changes ', 'relation': 'dont see how ', 'condition': 'if US is the country that is doing it'}]"
142,P0143,1rpjrc5,"I recently watched an interview with an IRCC whistleblower who outlined several troubling issues with Canada's asylum system. He said his motivation for outlining these concerns was the integrity of the system and the confidence the general public has in the system.
  
  To set the stage for my concerns, I'll outline this recent history that led to the crisis as purported by the whistleblower.
  
  Around 2011 former Prime Minister Stephen Harper made some changes to the IRCC. Based on what the whistleblower said these changes may have led to a backlog in claims being reviewed (although its unclear to me if the whistleblower was actually critical of the change).
  
  Around 2019 former Prime Minister Trudeau, in an effort to address the backlog, assigned someone to do a special review with the possibility of making the IRCC a direct report to a Cabinet Minister. In an effort to pass their review, IRCC needed to show progress on the backlog, and to that end they removed the requirement for claimants to have to interview with an adjudicator to have their claim tested. This worked, and temporarily cut down on the backlog, resulting in IRCC passing their review. 
  
  Aside from that, its significantly more work and a way slower process to deny a claim since it can lead to an appeal. The whistleblower implied decision makers were motivated/pressured to accept claimants because the time savings with the goal of cutting down the backlog. An approval can just be recorded. A denial needs written documentation that can be provided to a court justifying the decision. 
  
  The culmination of these policies was that Canada ended up accepting 80 percent of asylum claims since 2019. In comparison, other European countries like the UK or Sweden hover around 30 percent of claims accepted(this was the whistleblower saying this, i havent fact checked).
  
  Initially the backlog lowered, but once it became known internationally that Canada was accepting 80 percent of claimants without interviews, the number of applicants exploded. Resulting in an extreme increase beyond the original backlog.
  
  
  I'm looking to see if there is something I'm missing here that should restore my faith in IRCC. I don't think this is just something anyone can answer. I think someone would need specialized knowledge about how IRCC operates to properly alleviate my concerns.","[{'e1': ' former Prime Minister Stephen Harper ', 'e2': ' the IRCC', 'relation': 'made some changes to', 'condition': 'Around 2011'}, {'e1': ' these changes ', 'e2': ' a backlog in claims being reviewed', 'relation': 'may have led to', 'condition': 'Based on what the whistleblower said'}, {'e1': ' former Prime Minister Trudeau', 'e2': 'a special review with the possibility of making the IRCC a direct report to a Cabinet Minister', 'relation': 'assigned someone to do ', 'condition': 'Around 2019'}, {'e1': ' former Prime Minister Trudeau', 'e2': 'a special review with the possibility of making the IRCC a direct report to a Cabinet Minister', 'relation': 'assigned someone to do ', 'condition': 'in an effort to address the backlog'}, {'e1': ' IRCC ', 'e2': 'the backlog', 'relation': 'needed to show progress on ', 'condition': 'In an effort to pass their review'}, {'e1': 'The whistleblower ', 'e2': 'claimants ', 'relation': 'implied decision makers were motivated/pressured to accept ', 'condition': 'because the time savings with the goal of cutting down the backlog.'}, {'e1': ' A denial ', 'e2': 'written documentation ', 'relation': 'needs ', 'condition': 'that can be provided to a court justifying the decision. '}, {'e1': 'Canada ', 'e2': '80 percent of asylum claims ', 'relation': 'ended up accepting ', 'condition': 'since 2019'}]"
143,P0144,1rpl737,"I have been playing with this view for a while since the invasion of Ukraine. It got reignited by the 2026 US Iran war. Please help me challenge this long held view of mine.
  
  So first of all, I do not mean ordinary anti-war views, diplomacy over military action, or just skepticism toward military intervention/imperialism. I mean absolute pacifism as a political position: the idea that violence is never justified, even in self-defense, even against aggressors. It cannot be justified to kill a man/woman in the context of a war.
  
  My view is that this position is not just wrong, but also politically parasitic. Also it can only survive inside a social order that is ultimately defended by people who are willing to use force. The absolute pacifist gets to condemn violence from a safe position precisely because someone else is standing between him and the people who would happily exploit, enslave, rob, or kill him. This is illustrated by the 80's anti nuclear weapons demonstrations in Europe as a result of the Cold War arms race. 
  
  As is my opinion: at the most basic level every functioning state rests on coercion. Laws are not just moral imperatives/suggestions. Property rights, borders, policing, courts, prisons, even basic public order all rely on the fact that, at some point, non-compliance is met with force. Remove that entirely, and you do not get a peaceful utopia. You get rule by whoever is most willing to use violence while others refuse to resist. Can a cop shoot a criminal when he attacks him with a knife? In that sense, absolute pacifism is not a viable governing doctrine. It is a luxury belief that presupposes a shield it refuses to acknowledge.
  
  Another argument: is also a game-theoretical problem. If most actors are cooperative but even a minority are predatory, a view of unilateral non-resistance gets exploited. In repeated games, a population that refuses all coercion effectively rewards defectors. The violent actor does not need to persuade the pacifist. He only needs to recognize that the pacifist has removed deterrence from the board. A society of unconditional cooperators facing even a small number of defectors does not remain peaceful for long; it becomes prey. This actually leads to war. Absolute pacifists often benefit from the existence of soldiers, police, intelligence services etc., and sometimes even armed citizens while denouncing the very logic that protects them. They can hold rallies, write essays, teach, vote, and denounce force only because others are willing to do the ugly work of maintaining order against those who reject norms entirely. 
  
  That is why I call the position free-riding. It outsources moral responsibility for coercion while still depending on its results.
  
  Thank you for listening to my ted talk. 
  
  PS: I am an extremely peaceful person 🙂","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'this view for a while ', 'relation': 'have been playing with ', 'condition': 'since the invasion of Ukraine.'}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'reignited ', 'relation': 'got ', 'condition': 'by the 2026 US Iran war'}, {'e1': ' every functioning state ', 'e2': 'coercion', 'relation': 'rests on ', 'condition': ' at the most basic level'}, {'e1': ' non-compliance', 'e2': 'force', 'relation': ' is met with ', 'condition': 'at some point'}, {'e1': 'a view of unilateral non-resistance ', 'e2': ' exploited', 'relation': 'gets', 'condition': 'If most actors are cooperative but even a minority are predatory'}, {'e1': ' a population that refuses all coercion ', 'e2': 'defectors', 'relation': 'effectively rewards ', 'condition': 'In repeated games'}, {'e1': 'They ', 'e2': 'rallies, write essays, teach, vote, and denounce force ', 'relation': 'can hold ', 'condition': 'only because others are willing to do the ugly work of maintaining order against those who reject norms entirely. '}]"
144,P0145,1rpmn2w,"So there’s this prominent opinion, that I even sometimes see from feminists, that men’s recent difficulties with creating meaningful romantic or platonic connections is because of their individual shortcomings. This positions men as simply needing to do XYZ, let’s say go to therapy and go outside, and then they can make connections. This might be true for some men, but framing the problem in this way, that men should just do XYZ, does not solve anything. It also does not dismantle the patriarchy. 
  
  The issue with the neoliberal framing is that it evades mens distinct structural position. In the patriarchy, women are expected to be caretakers so their social traits have often been encouraged in ways that mens are. In many ways, men are explicitly socialized not to display certain behaviors that are conducive to socialization, such as showing emotion and being vulnerable. With the demise of third spaces and the rise of the internet/smartphones, this has resulted in both men and women being much more lonely, but women’s socialization has typically resulted in less loneliness than men. 
  
  Second is relationships. I’ve heard someone say that “if men are nice to people, then they can easily fall into relationships outside of physical characteristics.” I don’t believe that women are just vein and looks are all that matters. But I think this belief undermines essential structural factors. Online dating has become extremely more common for people to meet each other, and it both privileged a certain small group of men but also obliterates the confidence of a smaller group. Secondly, dating outside of online relationships (or meeting at bars/ things like that) typically happen due to social networks that are decreasing. One is work, which is becoming more remote. Two is friend groups, which I explain above how it is decreasing. Three is that spaces like even church are decreasing. 
  
  I’ve see reasoning that “well you can see unattractive older people, so everyone can find someone.” I want to stress that there certainly are relationships between people that don’t match (arbitrary) conventionally attractive standards in society. But the difference between now and the past is that women have a lot more choice when it comes to men than before. Women are the most autonomous they’ve been in a very long time, and this just wasn’t a thing in the past. Which is of course a good thing, and obviously not something that should change. 
  
  Okay so what exactly is the point of this post? Im against people blaming lonely men on JUST not doing a set of practices. I agree that men going to therapy, joining clubs, etc. can help, but is by no means guaranteed to be helpful. Even if someone works on themself, it is still incredible difficult to find new lasting relationships for so many people. 
  
  Locating mens loneliness in a set of structural factors, rather than MERELY an individual failure, results in actually trying to change the system. It means encouraging the creation of mens organizations where they can help each other be emotionally open witj each other and connect on a deeper level. It recognizes that it is crucial to fight for maintaining community spaces. Recognizing the importance of changing the way we speak about mens loneliness in ways that will only exacerbate the problem.","[{'e1': ' women ', 'e2': 'caretakers', 'relation': 'are expected to be ', 'condition': ' In the patriarchy'}, {'e1': 'men ', 'e2': 'certain behaviors that are conducive to socialization', 'relation': 'are explicitly socialized not to display ', 'condition': 'In many ways'}, {'e1': ' men and women being', 'e2': 'much more lonely', 'relation': ' are ', 'condition': 'With the demise of third spaces and the rise of the internet/smartphones'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'relationships outside of physical characteristics', 'relation': 'can easily fall into ', 'condition': 'if men are nice to people'}]"
145,P0146,1rpn6s2,"It was a boxing match people say. Yes but Drago blatantly broke the rules (and would have lost for that reason if it was a sanctioned fight). The ref tried to stop the fight and Drago pushed him away and kept laying haymakers on a defenseless Apollo. Plus Drago didn't even give a shit: ""if he dies, he dies"".
  
  Sure Apollo deserves some blame for continuing and demanding that Rocky not throw in the towel, Rocky for not doing it anyway, and the officials for letting it go past the first round, but it was still murder. 
  
  Frankly, unless Drago was on a diplomatic passport, Las Vegas authorities should have arrested him on the spot and gave him some sort of homicide charge.","[{'e1': 'Drago', 'e2': 'that reason ', 'relation': 'would have lost for ', 'condition': 'if it was a sanctioned fight'}, {'e1': ' Las Vegas authorities ', 'e2': 'him on the spot', 'relation': 'should have arrested ', 'condition': 'unless Drago was on a diplomatic passport'}]"
146,P0147,1rpukvn,"The war in Iran has escalated far beyond what was anticipated and is now a full-blown regional war with daily bombardment, displacement, and sabotage across the Middle East and one which can have a catastrophic effect on so many places around the world
  
  But I also think it highlights just how fundamentally fragile Europe's prosperity and stability really is and how one black swan event can represent an existential risk to it
  
  Picture this scenario,
  
  1- Mojtaba is either killed or keeps hiding indefinitely
  
  Mojtaba Khamanei either makes an inaugural speech where he has to both cement his credibility by lashing out against the US and Israel, who explicitly and publicly not only dismissed his legitimacy but said they will do what it takes to eliminate him, which leaves no place for reasonable moderation on his end
  
  Such video would make it much easier for Israeli and American intelligence to locate him and possibly decapitate him
  
  Which would dissuade anyone from running for supreme leader after him as it would mean ""certain death"", leaving the regime leaderless and enraging the hardliners who would see this as the final straw for whatever sabotage is left, and it would remove any element of dissuasion
  
  Either this or Mojtaba simply makes no public apperances for a few more days and then he's presumed dead until proven otherwise, and a coup might happen with no credibility to it by a big portion of the population and the regime's hardliners, leading to a fractured iran between pragmatists and hardliners
  
  2 - The mining of the strait of Hormuz
  
  Presented with an impossible choice, rogue hardline factions, already either without a leader or under the leadership of a coup-installed pragmatic military junta they fundamentally disagree with, will calculate they have nothing left to lose and decide to opt for a ""Samson Option"" and mine the strait
  
  It doesn't need to involve thousands of mines, just one mine that hits a Very Large Crude Carrier, making the strait literally impassable for months
  
  Oil prices would skyrocket worldwide and it would remove any element that would dissuade the US and Israel from going all in on iran, destroying whatever is left of their leadership apparatus, targeting their oil fields or trying to seize them, and even desalination and electricity infrastructure
  
  Iran would use whatever it has left, weather it's missles, dirty bombs, drones, etc in desperate suicide attacks against the vulnerable water and oil infrastructure of the Gulf in retaliation
  
  If the attack is concentrated just enough, no defense system can prevent massive destruction
  
  3 - The refugee crisis
  
  Iran, unlike syria, is massive and has very diverse ethnically, and so the likelihood of a civil war becomes extremely likely, with the main fight being between the hardliners and pragmatists, but also factions of pro-democracy forces, ethnic separatist groups and opportunists would be involved, and with oil, water and electricity infrastructure damaged or destroyed, a massive refugee exodus involving millions becomes inevitable, as simply moving internally becomes extremely difficult under impossible living conditions and a threat of violence
  
  An attack on gulf state critical infrastructure, especially water, would make them unlivable in days, as they literally rely on it almost exclusively for anything from drinking to AC, provoking another mass exodus of both expats and locals
  
  Needless to say, a civil war in iran, next to a failed state Afghanistan from one side and next to an unstable iraq that is increasingly getting involved, next to a very fragile syria, next to a humanitarian catastrophe in lebanon and a possibly unlivable gulf would open a pandora's box of pretty unpredictable results
  
  Countries like Jordan, already under extreme stress due to water scarcity and a massive refugee population would simply not survive millions more refugees, soaring oil prices that make living costs unbearable and a deeply unstable neighborhood, and it too, would begin to crack
  
  Also, Egypt, that is home to 110m people and already in massive debt and underlying instability, would see a revolution explode if oil prices reach 200 bucks and a massive wave of refugees pass by egypt as a way to reach europe, because it's already surrounded by failed states like lybia, sudan and gaza and has a siani penisula that is a breeding ground for extremism
  
  It would shatter the very social contract that has kept the egyptian regime in power, namely cheap subsidized bread, which would erupt in mass protests as the ""final straw"" to decades of mismanagement and authoritarian rule
  
  In this scenario, it's not hard to see how Europe would be existentially threatened, as it's foundations are
  
  \- cheap energy 
  \- social trust 
  \- a baseline of consensus that's necessary for a democracy 
  \- due process and rule of law
  
  Energy prices would no longer be cheap, causing severe inflation, and the arrival of millions and millions of refugees, not only from war zones but from poorer countries, who would see refugee ratlines be cemented making smuggling costs lower, would put a massive strain on an already challenged welfare system and would overwhelm refugee centers and lead to the rise of far right parties across europe
  
  these parties would systematically dismantle the idea of free borders to stop refugee inflow and would disregard refugee conventions and due process under ""emergency laws""
  
  This would make countries like norway for instance face an impossible choice, where they have to either 
  \- allow millions of refugees in and provide proper treatment for them 
  \- physically close the border to stop the flow, ending the very idea of the Shengen area 
  \- allow them in but not provide help or resources, making them vulnerable to homelessness, ghetto-ization and organized crime, putting into question the social trust upon which the whole system is built
  
  3 - Russia would be emboldened
  
  There will simply be no political will for any EU politician to keep sending aid to Ukraine when inflation is soaring and a refugee crisis is underway, which means they'd force Ukraine to agree to an unfavorable deal with Russia, who would see billions of dollars in revenue thanks to high oil prices in the short term
  
  Then, Russia would have the money to reinvest in its army and, seeing increasing domestic tensions in Europe, begins testing EU solidarity by harassing Baltic states and Moldova and presenting them with a ""fait accompli"" scenario, where neither NATO nor the EU would be ready or willing to start another war against just to defend a small city in eastern estonia for instance
  
  In summary, you'd have a middle east that is a black hole of refugees, chaos, extremism and failed states and a global oil market that's decimated by having a huge part of it cut off markets for months or even years and an aggressive emboldened Russia near Europe's border and a US president who's unreliable to say the least","[{'e1': ' no defense system ', 'e2': ' massive destruction', 'relation': 'can prevent', 'condition': 'If the attack is concentrated just enough'}, {'e1': 'moving internally ', 'e2': 'extremely difficult ', 'relation': 'becomes ', 'condition': 'under impossible living conditions and a threat of violence'}, {'e1': 'Egypt ', 'e2': 'a revolution explode ', 'relation': 'would see ', 'condition': 'if oil prices reach 200 bucks and a massive wave of refugees pass by egypt as a way to reach europe'}, {'e1': ' no political will ', 'e2': 'any EU politician to keep sending aid to Ukraine ', 'relation': 'for ', 'condition': 'when inflation is soaring and a refugee crisis is underway'}, {'e1': 'Russia ', 'e2': 'billions of dollars in revenue', 'relation': 'will see ', 'condition': ' thanks to high oil prices in the short term'}]"
147,P0148,1rpvhkj,"I believe that systemic racism stems is a worse side of the same more pressing problem of barriers to upward mobility, and that focusing efforts on eliminating poverty as a whole would be more conducive to racial justice than simple anti racist efforts alone.
  
  Historically families and people of color have been cut off from most of the opportunities for wealth accumulation white families enjoy, which places a disproportionate number of them at a lower socioeconomic status. Now, overt racial discrimination is of course illegal and has been for decades, but, specifically in the 2020s, upward mobility has become less attainable for EVERYONE. So now, not only is everyone struggling to get ahead, but families of color who were affected by these past policies are in a worse spot and have an even HARDER time getting out of poverty because of institutional discrimination
  
  I understand that there are unique barriers that people of color face in achieving upward mobility, but the US is at a point where it's so hard to get out of your socioeconomic status for all citizens that raising up average families of color to the same status as average white families just leaves everyone stuck in the same shitty boat.
  
  I am a white man and realize this probably comes off as dismissive of people of color's experiences, so please challenge me and help me see it from a different angle. I have just been putting a lot of thought into the inequalities America faces as a whole, and the more I learn, the more I am convinced that all inequality is a symptom of the main disease of our disgusting wealth gap.","[{'e1': 'there ', 'e2': 'unique barriers that people of color face ', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'in achieving upward mobility'}]"
148,P0149,1rpxnqv,"First, I searched and skimmed through several similar posts and none of them are framed quite like this nor do they answer my concerns which are:
  
  1) Polling interference - blocking people from voting by strategic placement of armed goons
  
  2) Election interference - the questions surrounding voting anomalies in 2024 weren't investigated or settled. We don't actually know if the elections are secure
  
  3) trump simply declares it invalid and everyone lets him, just like they let him do anything else. Not just the complicit GOP, but the cowardly Dems who might, at best, waggle their fingers very strongly, but still don't attempt impeachment of trump or people who aren't doing their jobs to stop trump (DOJ etc).
  
  4) trump just declares himself king. He's already said he plans to run in 2028, but I think he'll eventually figure out he doesn't need to go through the motions when he keeps testing the borders and finding there are none
  
  5) Yes, trump has been ruled against a few times, but at which point has that made any difference. Judges have told him to stop many times, but they didn't turn the planes around, they don't generally comply with court orders, and there's zero consequences to anyone involved so the courts can't help us.
  
  6) The military swore and oath to the constitution and are legally required to not do illegal things, but clearly they don't care about either of those things anymore. Taking illegal military action and committing acts of war without legal standing. We can't count on the military to step in and remove the corruption
  
  7) No one in Congress or at the Governor's level has a plan of action. They're not even talking about it. They act like it's not coming and will be caught completely off guard and won't be able to do anything about it.
  
  So, basically, trump wants to be a despot and everyone appears like they're going to just let him.","[{'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'the motions ', 'relation': ""doesn't need to go through "", 'condition': 'when he keeps testing the borders and finding there are none'}]"
149,P0150,1rq025c,"They have historical associations to power, grandeur, colonies, and oppression. Countries do too, but empires emphasize a mainland with territories that they control with influence, countries unify them more directly with sovereign borders. It also means that if an empire is oppressive, people are likely to assume that their influence came from non-negotiable control, but if a country is, people are more likely to assume that it comes from disagreement and that the supposed unity a country's borders make them stable and non-problematic. Which sounds more influential and imposing? That a colony is governed seperately by a viceroy of an empire, or that it's a state or territory controlled directly by the country leader? I feel like if ancient empires branded themselves as countries, they could propogate unity and assimilation over control more strongly, turn their colonies into states that the mainlanders can assimilate and settle into, and that they could've kept their influence longer without resistence from indigenous. Empires are usually seperate territories and preexisting nations governed by leaders assigned by the mainland, but countries claim them unambiguously. The United States is basically an empire, few to nobody questions that Alaska, Hawaii, the entire West, Guam, Midway, and Americn Samoa are lands stolen from indigenous. I feel that the difference between propogating that ""British Raj is an imperial colony controlled by England"" VS ""British Raj is England"" could've changed history in colonial normalization.","[{'e1': ' people ', 'e2': ' their influence came from non-negotiable control ', 'relation': 'are likely to assume that', 'condition': 'if an empire is oppressive'}, {'e1': ' people ', 'e2': ""disagreement and that the supposed unity a country's borders make them stable and non-problematic."", 'relation': 'are more likely to assume that it comes from ', 'condition': 'if a country is oppressive'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'unity and assimilation over control more strongly ', 'relation': 'could propogate ', 'condition': ' if ancient empires branded themselves as countries'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'their colonies into states that the mainlanders can assimilate and settle into', 'relation': 'could turn ', 'condition': ' if ancient empires branded themselves as countries'}, {'e1': 'they', 'e2': 'their influence longer without resistence from indigenous', 'relation': ' could have kept ', 'condition': ' if ancient empires branded themselves as countries'}]"
150,P0151,1rq02gl,"The go-to rebuttal whenever someone raises concerns about AI and job loss is: ""Technology has always created more jobs than it destroyed. The automobile replaced the horse, but created millions of new roles."" I believe this argument no longer holds, and here's why.
  
  Past technologies replaced human muscle or routine manual work. The new jobs they created required human judgment, creativity, and coordination, things machines couldn't do. AI is fundamentally different because it targets exactly those domains. It writes code, generates designs, moderates content, handles customer service, and analyzes data. These aren't assembly-line tasks. They're the very roles that were supposed to be safe.
  
  The layoffs are no longer theoretical. Across tech, media, retail, and other sectors, companies are cutting positions and citing AI and automation as the reason. And the economic incentive is clear: AI systems operate around the clock at a fraction of the cost, with no benefits, no breaks, and no burnout. When AI matches or exceeds human performance at a task, the rational business decision is to automate it.
  
  The common counterargument is that we ""can't imagine"" the new jobs that will emerge, just like people in 1900 couldn't imagine software engineers. But that's not an argument, it's a hope. There is no economic law guaranteeing that enough new, exclusively human roles will appear fast enough to replace what is lost. And unlike previous transitions that played out over decades, AI capability is advancing in months.
  
  I do think companies can choose to keep humans in the loop, designing systems that include people rather than replace them, but that's an ethical choice, not an economic inevitability. Left to market forces alone, I don't see how AI creates net positive employment.
  
  I'd love to hear arguments for why this time isn't different, or evidence that AI is already creating more roles than it's eliminating.
  
  \--------
  
  Thanks to everyone who took the time to comment. I really appreciate the different perspectives and the discussion.
  
  A few quick clarifications that came up: 
  I’m not an Ai doomer. I’m actually very optimistic about Ai! 
  I also have nothing to sell.. no course... no product... no newsletter just sharing thoughts and curious what others think. 
  
  I'm in the tech/AI bubble, so most of what I see is centered there. A lot of it is hype, but some of it lines up with what I've seen as a software engineer. I really appreciate getting fresh perspectives from outside that bubble they help me question my assumptions and see the bigger picture.","[{'e1': 'The go-to rebuttal ', 'e2': '""Technology has always created more jobs than it destroyed. The automobile replaced the horse, but created millions of new roles.""', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'whenever someone raises concerns about AI and job loss'}, {'e1': ' the rational business decision ', 'e2': 'automate it.', 'relation': 'is to ', 'condition': 'When AI matches or exceeds human performance at a task'}, {'e1': 'people ', 'e2': 'software engineers', 'relation': ""couldn't imagine "", 'condition': 'in 1900'}]"
151,P0152,1rq0llw,"The projected US defense budget for the year 2027 is $1.5 trillion. The current conflict with Iran is costing an estimated $1 billion every day. Every single Patriot missile fired costs $4 million. The US spends more on defense than the next 10 countries combined.
  
  We spent $5.3 trillion on healthcare costs in 2024. A Medicare-for-all system would already save $500 billion annually, and I propose it could be implemented sooner and more efficiently if we had discretionary funds to pour into its implementation. 
  
  My state of MN spends $250 million on a free school lunch program. Studies show children learn better when they are fed. Better educated children get better paying jobs, and in turn contribute more in taxes.
  
  The local and state governments pay for the majority of public schooling, with the federal government providing about 12.7% of the total. Think how much more teachers could be paid, how many more schools could be refurbished and rebuilt, how many more after school programs would be started, if the federal government poured even $200 billion annually into that public school budget?
  
  If I believed the US was in imminent danger of attack, or we were engaged in a legal, congressionally-approved war, I would perhaps have a different view on spending. However the war in Iran is illegal and illegitimate. We are spending billions to blow up schools and civilian infrastructure. We send Israel more weapons and aid than any foreign nation, and now they want us to follow them into war.
  
  I believe the population in the US could enjoy a significantly higher quality of life were we to reduce the defense budget. By how much, that depends how much we’re willing to disarm, how interested we are in continuing to develop nuclear weapons, how many soldiers we think we require for safety.
  
  $1.7 trillion is an extraordinary amount of money. When spent on defense, the US sees none of that money. If we even lowered the budget by $700 billion and used that money for social services like healthcare, public schools, and increased SNAP benefits, we would see a noticeable increase in quality of life, less poverty, more optimism, and I believe, more patriotism.
  
  The budget for SNAP(food stamps) benefits is around 1.5% of the US budget.","[{'e1': 'The projected US defense budget', 'e2': ' $1.5 trillion', 'relation': ' is', 'condition': 'for the year 2027'}, {'e1': 'We ', 'e2': ' $5.3 trillion on healthcare costs ', 'relation': 'spent', 'condition': 'in 2024'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'implemented sooner and more efficiently ', 'relation': 'could be ', 'condition': 'if we had discretionary funds to pour into its implementation. '}, {'e1': 'children ', 'e2': ' better ', 'relation': 'learn', 'condition': 'when they are fed.'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' a different view on spending', 'relation': 'would perhaps have', 'condition': 'If I believed the US was in imminent danger of attack, or we were engaged in a legal, congressionally-approved war'}, {'e1': ' the US ', 'e2': 'none of that money', 'relation': 'sees ', 'condition': 'When spent on defense'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': ' a noticeable increase in quality of life, less poverty, more optimism, and I believe, more patriotism.', 'relation': 'would see', 'condition': 'If we even lowered the budget by $700 billion and used that money for social services like healthcare, public schools, and increased SNAP benefits'}]"
152,P0153,1rq1uqz,"Republicans have the playbook and they are not afraid to use it. Trump and Trumpism has emboldened them in their aspirations to completely disregard any and all institutional checks and balances and democratic norms, in their pursuit of authoritarian power.
  
  Trumpism and the MAGA movement has done and is doing significant damage to our democracy, but I do not think it will break in this election cycle... While the current admin has the populist rhetoric down and the authoritarian desire, they are too incompetent to pull this off. However, Trumpism will collapse and give rise to a much more hard-nosed, effective authoritarian threat in the 2030s that I truly do not believe our institutions will be able to weather... they are barely getting a C+ now during what is effectively the dress rehearsal.
  
  Unless the democrats can provide a truly transformative national project, they will lose the presidency in 2032 to someone who shares all of Trumps authoritarian aims, but who is an actually effective and politically savvy leader/operator, who will not make the silly missteps that Trump is making in securing his authoritarian vision.","[{'e1': 'Trump and Trumpism ', 'e2': 'them ', 'relation': 'has emboldened ', 'condition': 'in their aspirations to completely disregard any and all institutional checks and balances and democratic norms, in their pursuit of authoritarian power'}, {'e1': 'Republicans', 'e2': 'any and all institutional checks and balances and democratic norms', 'relation': 'completely disregard ', 'condition': 'in their pursuit of authoritarian power'}, {'e1': 'Trumpism ', 'e2': 'collapse ', 'relation': 'will ', 'condition': 'in the 2030s'}, {'e1': 'Trumpism ', 'e2': ' a much more hard-nosed, effective authoritarian threat ', 'relation': 'will give rise to', 'condition': 'in the 2030s'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the presidency in 2032 to someone who shares all of Trumps authoritarian aims', 'relation': 'will lose ', 'condition': 'Unless the democrats can provide a truly transformative national project'}]"
153,P0154,1rqakuc,"This view is formed on the basis of a few underlying assumptions. 
  
  Assumption 1: while there is abundant room for individual preference and the influence of different cultures and backgrounds, the desirability of certain traits (and the undesirability of other traits) follow universal trends to a broad extent. At large timescales, these trends will provide ""maps"" of our evolutionary trajectory which favored certain traits and rejected others. 
  
  Assumption 2: living with relative success/happiness/security in the modern world in any capacity depends far more on an individual's social skills - particularly social skills with strangers encountered in limited contexts - than any other period of human history. Again, there are obvious exceptions, but, for most of us, our ""social currency"" will be correlative to our interpersonal skills - i.e., our emotional intelligence and resultant behavior. You may be skilled at a particular vocation, but if you're a sociopathic asshole, you will not be as successful/secure/happy in life as you would be if you were more likable.
  
  Assumption 3: people tend to choose long-term partners who they believe will increase their chances at success/security/happiness in their life. This choice may be conscious or unconscious, and, as always, there are exceptions. 
  
  Assumption 4 (though I'm pretty sure this is proven at this point): men (particularly men under 30) have overall lower emotional intelligence than women and are more likely to engage in antisocial behavior. Since these traits are antithetical to the traits correlating with success/security/happiness in the modern world, it follows that there will be a larger portion who are unable to find a long-term partner. 
  
  I might be wrong about any or all of these assumptions. But if the assumptions are correct, I don't think there is any other conclusion than that we are ""naturally selecting"" for these traits. CMV!","[{'e1': ' the desirability of certain traits ', 'e2': ' universal trends to a broad extent', 'relation': 'follow', 'condition': 'while there is abundant room for individual preference and the influence of different cultures and backgrounds'}, {'e1': ' these trends ', 'e2': ' ""maps"" of our evolutionary trajectory which favored certain traits and rejected others. ', 'relation': 'will provide', 'condition': 'At large timescales'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': ' successful/secure/happy in life as you would be if you were more likable.', 'relation': 'will not be as', 'condition': ""if you're a sociopathic asshole""}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'there will be a larger portion who are unable to find a long-term partner. ', 'relation': 'follows that ', 'condition': 'Since these traits are antithetical to the traits correlating with success/security/happiness in the modern world'}, {'e1': 'there ', 'e2': 'no other conclusion than that we are ""naturally selecting"" for these traits', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'if the assumptions are correct'}]"
154,P0155,1rqq5pj,"Cigarette butts are a huge pollution problem. I found a few websites [like this one](https://fctc.who.int/newsroom/spotlight/environment/4.5-trillion-cigarette-butts-are-equal-to-1.69-billion-pounds-of-toxic-trash) talking about 4.5 billion butts littered every year. They release toxic chemicals and micro plastic in the environment. 
  
  The efficacy of the filter is questionned. Filters have been created [not to protect the health but for marketing](https://ash.org.uk/media-centre/news/blog/the-great-cigarette-filter-fraud), aiming to give users the impression of safety. Smokers have to take [bigger puffs](https://tobaccocontrol.bmj.com/content/tobaccocontrol/11/suppl_1/i40.full.pdf) because of them, lowering the benefit the filter could have had. 
  
  Because they have no benefit for the smoker and are a big problem for everyone, i believe they should be banned.","[{'e1': ' i ', 'e2': 'they should be banned. ', 'relation': 'believe ', 'condition': 'Because they have no benefit for the smoker and are a big problem for everyone'}]"
155,P0156,1rqv14h,"A highlight of this bill would force build to rent outfits to sell their properties after 7 years. 
  
  That’s pretty stupid if you ask me.
  
  This will not improve the housing situation. It will make it worse. 
  
  Let’s say you build a house valued at $350k
  
  Rent at $2.25k a month for 7 years, that’s only $189k recouped in rent cost. That’s assuming 100% occupation as soon as it is available.
  
  That’s doesn’t take into account property taxes, maintenance, a touch up to sell the house after 7 years (if the current tenant doesn’t buy) or interest to a bank. 
  
  For arguments sake, let’s say the price of the house goes up to $75k in 7 years (very likely it won’t) and you happen to sell it immediately…
  
  You would struggle to get 6 figure in return on a $350k in 7 years. Why build?
  
  In the stock market, you could much more likely DOUBLE your investment in that time with a realistic 10% return a year.
  
  When it comes to restate, it is the long term gains that make it worth it in some cases. That or the higher (average S&P 500) returns, especially if you’re not paying a mortgage.
  
  So tell me why people would look to build houses in order to rent them out if you’re severely hindering their return on investment?","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'your investment in that time with a realistic 10% return a year.', 'relation': 'could much more likely DOUBLE ', 'condition': 'In the stock market'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'the long term gains that make it worth it in some cases.', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'When it comes to restate'}]"
156,P0157,1rqw1xd,"I got in an argument with a friend yesterday about the two ISIS inspired teenagers in New York City yesterday who tried to set off nail bombs that would have killed dozens of people. But instead the bombs didn't explode, no one got hurt and the two pieces of shit both got arrested.
  
  My friend said they'll be out in ten years and he might be right. But I argue that makes no sense. 
  
  If they had succeeded in killing dozens of people they would be put in jail for life or executed. I believe the same punishment should apply here.
  
  These people are worthless terrorists and they shouldn't suffer less consequences just for being incompetent. Treat them like terrorists and never let them out again","[{'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'jail for life or executed', 'relation': 'would be put in ', 'condition': 'If they had succeeded in killing dozens of people '}]"
157,P0158,1rqw8z4,"I previously [argued](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/1r8nfrf/cmv_trump_should_strike_iran_until_democracy/that) Iran should be strategically hit with precision airstrikes shortly before the war. I had misplaced faith that Trump would be inclined to conduct only targeted strikes against leadership rather than an all-out air campaign.
  
  The US-led tomahawk double-tap on an Iranian girls’ elementary school leads me to believe that targets were not carefully chosen.
  
  The US is striking energy and oil infrastructure in a general attempt to cripple Iran militarily, which will have significant civilian effects.
  
  Iran’s leadership is cowardly attacking civilian cargo ships in a desperate bid for survival, and the US military is currently unable to guarantee safety. While giving in to threats against civilians is not ideal, we should also be realistic about the effects this will have on the global economy and reconsider continued attacks.
  
  Khamenei was replaced by his son, someone who is just as much, if not more, of a hardliner. This shows that Iran has not actually bent at all under the pressure of military strikes.
  
  Most of the important targets regarding Iran’s nuclear program have already been hit at this point. Further attacks will have diminishing returns and greater civilian cost.
  
  The US is reaching a wall in terms of what it can actually accomplish through remote attacks.
  
  Iran is resorting to activating terrorist sleeper cells.
  
  My view is that Trump should cease attacks on Iran. Even if this might appear to be a sign of weakness or admitting defeat, it is the right thing to do for civilians.
  
  I am curious whether I can be convinced that it is in the best interests of the US to continue the war.","[{'e1': ' Iran', 'e2': 'precision airstrikes ', 'relation': ' should be strategically hit with ', 'condition': 'shortly before the war'}, {'e1': 'The US ', 'e2': 'energy and oil infrastructure ', 'relation': 'is striking ', 'condition': 'in a general attempt to cripple Iran militarily'}, {'e1': 'Iran’s leadership ', 'e2': 'civilian cargo ships ', 'relation': 'is cowardly attacking ', 'condition': 'in a desperate bid for survival'}]"
158,P0159,1rqwyk9,"NOT ***CATASTROPHIC***, but worse than the official narrative would lead you to believe.
  
  >The instruments used for the offsite survey were Geiger-Muller detectors and ion chamber (RO-2) survey type instruments. Many of the reported readings were open window measurements and reported as 3,y-mR/hr, which is an undefined exposure rate. Where ""e,Y"" readings are known, they are so indicated. The instruments were not calibrated against a beta source, nor were they calibrated for an immersion situation. What the influence is on the total reading of the beta component is not known...
  
  >The sparseness of the data and the extrapolation of individual dosimeter results to assess the dose to the population in a large sector contribute to the uncertainty.
  
  \-NRC initial assessment
  
  They proceed to pat themselves on the back and claim nothing happened and nothing will happen. But, going forward the power company is sued, a $5 million public health fund for research is established, and a class action lawsuit is enacted. All of which is overseen by a newly appointed federal judge Sylvia H. Rambo.
  
  This accident brings top minds from all over the world including Mitsuru Katagiri, an expert in radiation research. He goes on a journey over the course of a decade interviewing people who lived through the event. [Which can be read here](https://www.tmia.com/sites/tmia.com/files/890327_TMI_Testament.pdf)
  
  Which paints a different story from the official NRC narrative. Stories of odd metallic tastes in people's mouth, sickness, reddening of the skin, etc.. If it was a handful of people that'd be one thing, but this pattern is across 250 separate interviews. Which should probably raise some eyebrows?
  
  It did and besides Kitagiri, other well respected scientists came and performed research in the town as well. Despite the fact that Judge Rambo decided to seal TMI public health fund requests from the public in 1981, refused to allow the fund to be audited in 1987, and allowed the power company to hold power over how the funds were dispersed independent studies found their own funding to do their research
  
  Experts from Russia with experience from Chernobyl, some from the UK, and other European countries came to study the area. In 1995, the plaintiffs suing the power company brought these experts in as key witnesses in their case against GPU et al. Nearly every single one was [excluded from being allowed to testify by Judge Rambo](https://digitalcommons.law.villanova.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1295&context=thirdcircuit_1999)
  
  Not because they weren't qualified (they were). Not because the methods they were using was unsound (which was admitted in the above document). Not because the research was irrelevant. No, it was because the conclusions they were drawing didn't jive with the theoretical numbers the utility company and NRC ""officially released""
  
  The game was rigged from the start. How can someone prove their health problems are related to the accident if expert scientific testimony that shows public radiation exposure greater than the utility companies projected numbers isn't admissible?
  
  How can a judge with no scientific or meteorological background claim that a certain weather model (FITNAH) shouldn't be allowed to be used in court because she doesn't know if its industry accepted? That's why Mr. Vergeiner's expert testimony showing the radiation plume could have lingered and spread at ground level was thrown out. He used a well known model (still used today BTW) that the judge hadn't heard of which excluded him
  
  Other research involved a team of experts from Russia. Schevchenko studied mutations in trees and foliage after the Chernobyl accident. He went and studied the trees in the area for mutations and radiation induced damage. He found and mapped areas where radiation induced damage was evident. Based off this, another scientist, Snigiryova head of the Cytogenetic Laboratory of the Moscow Institute for Diagnostic and Surgery, then performed blood analysis on residents near where the mutated trees were. She found that 75% of the patients analyzed had chromosome damage consistent with exposure to ionizing radiation. All of which was excluded from the court case
  
  As far as health concerns go due to the long latency of radiation induced cancers, its very easy to explain away any increase as unrelated. Dr. Steven Wing comes to a different conclusion than the industry hired researchers when it comes to TMI related cancers. Thyroid cancers were higher than expected in the area in the years after the accident. Other health problems sprung up in ""higher than expected"" numbers in the surrounding counties
  
  Once again, none of these problems could be ""linked to TMI"" because the utility company's offsite radiation numbers are taken at face value and unchallenged.
  
  The town pushed the TMI public health fund administrators relentlessly for an independent third party monitoring system for almost a decade. The fund supervisors continually shot down any request for that and also stalled distributing fund money repeatedly. It got to the point where local politicians attempted to remove and replace the fund administrators and the people of the town filed to have Rambo removed from the case due to perceived bias towards the defendants
  
  Neither of these things happened and because the plaintiffs were left with almost no expert testimony due to lawfare by the corporate lawyers for the utility company the case was dismissed. Not due to a lack of evidence, but because of the inability to present the evidence. 
  
  In the long run, TMI ended up changing nuclear regulation for the better. The NRC introduced sweeping changes in training, oversight, and inspections. It made the entire industry much safer and (hopefully) made another incident like this almost impossible to happen again. But, the residents around the plant got an extremely raw deal in exchange for this","[{'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'one thing', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'If it was a handful of people'}, {'e1': ' Judge Rambo ', 'e2': 'TMI public health fund requests from the public ', 'relation': 'decided to seal ', 'condition': 'in 1981'}, {'e1': ' Judge Rambo ', 'e2': 'the fund to be audited ', 'relation': 'refused to allow ', 'condition': 'in 1987'}, {'e1': ' the plaintiffs suing the power company ', 'e2': 'these experts in as key witnesses in their case against GPU et al', 'relation': 'brought ', 'condition': 'In 1995'}, {'e1': 'Schevchenko ', 'e2': 'mutations in trees and foliage ', 'relation': 'studied ', 'condition': 'after the Chernobyl accident'}, {'e1': ' Dr. Steven Wing ', 'e2': ' a different conclusion than the industry hired researchers ', 'relation': 'comes to', 'condition': 'when it comes to TMI related cancers'}, {'e1': 'Thyroid cancers ', 'e2': 'higher than expected in the area', 'relation': 'were ', 'condition': ' in the years after the accident'}, {'e1': ' Other health problems ', 'e2': '""higher than expected"" numbers', 'relation': 'sprung up in ', 'condition': ' in the surrounding counties'}]"
159,P0160,1rqyzb4,"my Opinion: same budget buy windows laptop instead or extra budget to buy Air . Reason: Windows can run most software, can play most video games, has larger RAM and storage than Neo which means it allows u to run more tasks at the same time,upgrade opitional: u can change the RAM and SSD as u want,there is no COB like Neo.
  
  MacBook definitely has some advantages, MacOS , runs better without a power plug, nice exterior design,and most important that Apple CPU have more performance than cheap windows laptop.BUT the Apple cpu&gpu r run below 6W, the RAM and SSD r 8+256g, no radiator, so it can only run some basic software which windows can also do that.if u want to run some heavy duty task,maybe windows r even better.
  
  Prove me wrong.
  
  PS: Used laptop is excluded in price range comparson.","[{'e1': 'windows', 'e2': 'better', 'relation': ' are even ', 'condition': 'if u want to run some heavy duty task'}]"
160,P0161,1rr0t83,"Firstly, shift the time as equivalent to our current time by 6 hours backward. This makes more sense, because why orient time around the middle of the day, which is irrelevant, when you can do it around dawn and dusk, which are highly relevant? 
  
  Now, make the AM period count descendingly. This makes AM, ""Ante Meridiem,"" make more sense, as it now counts how many hours it will be before (ante) mid-day (meridiem.) The same also applies for PM, ""Post Meridiem,"" as it counts how many hours have passed since mid-day. This also keeps the day anchored around a single point, noon. Which is more logical. 
  
  As for 12 hour clocks, they don't change much, except for going backward after striking 12PM, which isn't I don't think is particularly more complex. But in fact, dare I say, pretty cool actually. 
  
  Let's also change things from latin to english to make things less confusing. So AM/PM -> AD/UD, after dawn and until dawn. This still has basically the same meaning as the latin version. 
  
  A conversion table from the current time system to this new time system would be: 
  
  ```
  IRL 24h IRL 12h new 24h new 12h 
  
  06:00 | 6:00 AM | 00:00 | 0 AD
  07:00 | 7:00 AM | 01:00 | 1 AD
  08:00 | 8:00 AM | 02:00 | 2 AD
  09:00 | 9:00 AM | 03:00 | 3 AD
  10:00 | 10:00 AM | 04:00 | 4 AD
  11:00 | 11:00 AM | 05:00 | 5 AD
  12:00 | 12:00 AM | 06:00 | 6 AD
  13:00 | 1:00 PM | 07:00 | 7 AD
  14:00 | 2:00 PM | 08:00 | 8 AD
  15:00 | 3:00 PM | 09:00 | 9 AD
  16:00 | 4:00 PM | 10:00 | 10 AD
  17:00 | 5:00 PM | 11:00 | 11 AD
  18:00 | 6:00 PM | 12:00 | 12 UD
  19:00 | 7:00 PM | 13:00 | 11 UD
  20:00 | 8:00 PM | 14:00 | 10 UD
  21:00 | 9:00 PM | 15:00 | 9 UD
  22:00 | 10:00 PM | 16:00 | 8 UD
  23:00 | 11:00 PM | 17:00 | 7 UD
  24:00 | 12:00 PM | 18:00 | 6 UD
  01:00 | 1:00 AM | 19:00 | 5 UD
  02:00 | 2:00 AM | 20:00 | 4 UD
  03:00 | 3:00 AM | 21:00 | 3 UD
  04:00 | 4:00 AM | 22:00 | 2 UD
  05:00 | 5:00 AM | 23:00 | 1 UD
  ```
  
  If we are to be a bit more wild with this system, we would go about changing the number of hours, minutes, and seconds in a day. 
  
  An elegant ratio to choose, I propose, is having 36 hours in a day, 24 minutes in an hour, and 100 seconds in a minute. This keeps the same duration of a second as we already have, as 36\*24\*100 = 24\*60\*60, and increases the ease of divisibility and parting-ability of each period of time. The result would be as such, with the previous day modifications: 
  
  ```
  new² 36h | new² 18h
  
  00:00 | 0 AD
  01:00 | 1 AD
  02:00 | 2 AD
  03:00 | 3 AD
  04:00 | 4 AD
  05:00 | 5 AD
  06:00 | 6 AD
  07:00 | 7 AD
  08:00 | 8 AD
  09:00 | 9 AD
  10:00 | 10 AD
  11:00 | 11 AD
  12:00 | 12 AD
  13:00 | 13 AD
  14:00 | 14 AD
  15:00 | 15 AD
  16:00 | 16 AD
  17:00 | 17 AD
  18:00 | 18 UD
  19:00 | 17 UD
  20:00 | 16 UD
  21:00 | 15 UD
  22:00 | 14 UD
  23:00 | 13 UD
  24:00 | 12 UD
  25:00 | 11 UD
  26:00 | 10 UD
  27:00 | 9 UD
  28:00 | 8 UD
  29:00 | 7 UD
  30:00 | 6 UD
  31:00 | 5 UD
  32:00 | 4 UD
  33:00 | 3 UD
  34:00 | 2 UD
  35:00 | 1 UD
  ```
  
  Wherein 0 AD would, as before, still be standardized dawn of the region's timezone.
  
  Edit: Okay, fine. I guess you have [r/changedmyview](reddit.com/r/changemyview) :(
  
  I'll still keep responding though. This was pretty fun","[{'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'the number of hours, minutes, and seconds in a day. ', 'relation': 'would go about changing ', 'condition': 'If we are to be a bit more wild with this system'}]"
161,P0162,1rr360j,"Whenever I want to attend online international event it usually says "" at 5pm EST"" wtf is EST? European ? Eastern? How do I easily know when to join from home?
  
  In common sense world every event would include the time zone in GMT time. I think everyone knows theirs GMT offset (and if not it's just one number to remember) it also solves daylight saving time shift.. you just add 1
  
  This would make attending international events way easier and hassle free. Example: event starts at 2PM GMT-5, I'm GMT +1 > event starts at 8PM (2 +5+1) for me
  
  Why isn't this a thing?
  I would make this a ""law"" (i know that's not the correct term) on international level via UN.","[{'e1': ' every event ', 'e2': 'the time zone in GMT time.', 'relation': 'would include ', 'condition': 'In common sense world'}]"
162,P0163,1rr3d7v,"Our kids see us as the examples of how to live, and they see us that way both through our lessons and our behaviors. How we are and how we talk to our kids both lay the foundation for thought processes that they will have for the rest of their lives.
  
  If we as parents know that we have at least one chronic mental health condition, it is our responsibility as parents to seek treatment for it, and to be transparent about it with our children. This does NOT mean that we shouldn’t have kids in the first place if we have a chronic condition, and it does NOT mean that we have to be cured of our chronic conditions in our lifetime. Here’s what I mean instead:
  
  Let’s take a somewhat stereotypical example. If you have OCD and feel a need to flip light switches 3 times, it’s one thing if you live alone or with other adults who have the same compulsion. It’s another thing if you have a child that you ask to do the same thing, that does the same thing due to seeing you do it, or that you don’t address your compulsion with and at any point end up reacting emotionally to if they don’t do it.
  
  People in longterm forced close proximity to people with mental health conditions frequently end up exhibiting some of the same conditions, but for different reasons.
  
  In the case of children, the parent has the condition and the child ends up behaving like the parent due to conditioning, but if the child is evaluated then they don’t actually have the condition itself. It’s more like they have triggers around their parent. They’ll flip light switches 3 times in order to avoid an emotional explosion or giving their parent anxiety. Then when they’re not around that parent, they may still feel an internal inclination to flip switches 3 times just out of habit, but they are less likely to actually do it. Nonetheless, the foundation in their mind is already set. They “hear” their parent in their head all the time, and that’s something that they either live with or go to therapy to overcome.
  
  This is the sort of thing that can be avoided if we get treatment, and if we tell our kids something to the effect of “Hey, listen, this light switch thing? It’s my deal, not yours. You don’t have to do this. I may never be able to stop doing it myself, but if you’re good with one flip then that’s plenty.” Share your story with your kids when they’re old enough to understand, and get treatment to deal with the anxiety and how you treat others as a result of the anxiety. If you even get 10% less anxious and become 20% less likely to explode at someone after one year, that’s still a win. A win is a win. Mental health treatment is a process.
  
  We need to make time for it. We need to sacrifice something else in order to do it if we can’t make time for it or afford it. That’s how important it is. Our hierarchy needs to go something like basic survival of ourselves and our children at the top, then our own mental health, then everything else.
  
  When we become parents, we are still important and we can’t take care of someone else if we don’t take care of ourselves, but all of the things that have held us back from getting treatment before are not important anymore. Fear, stigma, not being able to afford it, not being able to make the time, distrust in the system, concern about not being good at something we attribute to having a mental health condition, having an excuse for how we live and treat others, none of it matters. How we treat our children is more important than any of that. We have to let it all go.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'our responsibility as parents to seek treatment for it', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'If we as parents know that we have at least one chronic mental health condition'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'our responsibility as parents to be transparent about it with our children', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'If we as parents know that we have at least one chronic mental health condition'}, {'e1': 'the parent ', 'e2': ' the child ends up behaving like the parent due to conditioning', 'relation': 'has the condition and', 'condition': 'In the case of children'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the condition itself', 'relation': 'don’t actually have ', 'condition': 'if the child is evaluated '}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'an internal inclination to flip switches 3 times just out of habit', 'relation': 'may still feel ', 'condition': 'when they’re not around that parent'}, {'e1': 'This ', 'e2': 'the sort of thing that can be avoided ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'if we get treatment'}, {'e1': 'Share your story ', 'e2': 'your kids ', 'relation': 'with ', 'condition': 'when they’re old enough to understand'}, {'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'a win', 'relation': 'is still ', 'condition': 'If you even get 10% less anxious and become 20% less likely to explode at someone after one year'}, {'e1': 'We ', 'e2': 'something else in order to do it ', 'relation': 'need to sacrifice ', 'condition': 'if we can’t make time for it or afford it'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'important ', 'relation': 'are still ', 'condition': 'When we become parents'}, {'e1': 'we ', 'e2': ' someone else ', 'relation': 'can’t take care of', 'condition': 'if we don’t take care of ourselves'}]"
163,P0164,1rr3gkh,"GLP-1 agonists activate the GLP-1 receptor all over the body. In this regard, it might not be so surprising it has so many broad effects. However, the body already creates GLP-1, and DPP-4 inhibitors (-gliptins) don't actually show the same all-cause mortality or cardiovascular mortality benefit.
  
  If you look at the control system, the DPP-4 block the degradation of GLP-1 (and other incretins). That they aren't very effective might be a sign that incretin production or receptor tranduction is chronically diminished in many American adults, and so the decrease in degradation rate isn't sufficient to restore balance. I say receptor transduction because GLP-1 receptors seem resistant to downregulation.
  
  As to why this is the case, I think it is because high volumes of glycemic spikes throughout our lives causes systemic decrease in receptor or incretin production due to downregulation of either the GLP-1 receptor transduction or incretin K- and L- cells. There is evidence that L-cell differentiation is affected by chronic high-glucose exposure.
  
  This might be either due to a constant source of processed foods that bypass the high fiber content normally found with high carbohydrate content (which lowers the glycemic spike) or from a chronic overconsumption of high sweetness foods in general (due to the cost of high glycemic load processed staples).","[{'e1': 'incretin production or receptor tranduction ', 'e2': 'chronically diminished ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'in many American adults'}]"
164,P0165,1rr7yo4,"Many people think drug decriminalization - replacing prison sentences with support resources - should be the future of the justice system in that area. I know a fair amount of people who think the war on drugs is pointless and the justice system hurts more than it helps. I think that drug criminalization has issues-enforcement can be racist, prison sentences can ruin lives, it's often not effective-but I feel like drug decriminalization would make the problem worse.
  
  I'm all for rehabilitative justice, but that justice feels like it should be mandatory. If it's legal to possess and sell drugs, people might be more incentive to try them ""just once"" and then get addicted. Several people who might otherwise be willing to give into peer pressure or a bad day and ""try"" some fentanyl won't when they realize they could be put in prison and live the rest of their life with a criminal record. Jail's purpose is really to deter, not to punish. And once someone's hooked, some might seek out voluntary support resources, but most have their psychology altered and aren't going to do anything to quit unless they're literally forced by police officers to go clean. People who lack willpower might not get off drugs unless the justice system forces them to. Furthermore, the justice system gives society recourse for forcibly stopping an addiction that could otherwise ruin someone's life. If drugs are decriminalized, for example, police can't put away parents who don't buy school supplies because they spend everything on meth. Drug decriminalization means it's a lot easier to get drugs (the sellers don't have to hide - they can advertise!), and drugs are a blight on society. They harm people medically, make them irrational and sometimes violent when they don't have more drugs, and someone who might otherwise seek out support resources could get so addicted they won't. Drugs are such a powerful force that the only way to stop them is with force.
  
  And even if someone isn't addicted, trying just some drugs is still bad. It's harmful to people and those around them. And if it's totally legal to sell drugs, the demand for it is so great that people will take that job over ones that actually contribute to society. Would you want nurses, grocers, and firefighters to quit their jobs because it's more profitable to sell crack? Right now, drugs are illegal (except weed & alcohol) - and the demand is still huge. If they were legal, drugs now have even more demand because they can tap the law-abiding good citizen market. So people will contribute less to society because they're focused on taking or selling drugs. In general, a legalized drug culture would also just increase people's reliance on short-term pleasures rather than effort, which is bad for everyone.
  
  So while it's honorable to want to defund the DEA to give money to community centers that help people quit crack, I feel like it'll really lead to a drug epidemic. I'd love to hear your perspectives on this - some things that can change my view are how could drug decriminalization could positively impact certain communities, how drug criminalization is unworkable and wastes resources, a model of drug decriminalization that doesn't cause these problems, or reasoning on how people might think differently about legal drugs than I described. Change my view!","[{'e1': ' people ', 'e2': 'addicted', 'relation': 'might be more incentive to try them ""just once"" and then get ', 'condition': ""If it's legal to possess and sell drugs""}, {'e1': 'People who lack willpower', 'e2': 'drugs ', 'relation': ' might not get off ', 'condition': 'unless the justice system forces them to'}, {'e1': 'police ', 'e2': ""parents who don't buy school supplies because they spend everything on meth"", 'relation': ""can't put away "", 'condition': 'If drugs are decriminalized'}, {'e1': 'police ', 'e2': ""parents who don't buy school supplies "", 'relation': ""can't put away "", 'condition': 'because they spend everything on meth'}, {'e1': 'drugs', 'e2': 'irrational and sometimes violent ', 'relation': ' make them ', 'condition': ""when they don't have more drugs""}, {'e1': 'the demand for it ', 'e2': 'people will take that job over ones that actually contribute to society.', 'relation': 'is so great that ', 'condition': "" if it's totally legal to sell drugs""}, {'e1': ' drugs ', 'e2': 'demand because they can tap the law-abiding good citizen market', 'relation': 'have even more ', 'condition': 'If they were legal'}, {'e1': ' drugs ', 'e2': 'demand ', 'relation': 'have even more ', 'condition': 'because they can tap the law-abiding good citizen market'}]"
165,P0166,1rrno2i,"Okay, so I’m from the UK. I won’t go too far into the context as I’m sure many of you are aware, but we are somewhat of a popular destination for many asylum seekers, refugees, and/or immigrants. I’m not against immigration itself, nor do I begrudge those seeking asylum, but I believe that a country should support it’s own people first. 
  
  I served in the British Army. I had to leave on a medical due to PTSD, and as part of my situation at the time I ended up homeless. As a British man in my 20’s I felt that I had no support from anyone in regards to housing, and the council/government were happy to leave me on the street. However, the government started using hotels to accommodate asylum seekers, and some have even gone on to get social housing. Why could the government not provide me with a hotel room? 
  
  Currently, 10% of people in social housing in the UK were not born here. I believe that there should not be a single person who was not born here in social housing, until we have offered that to British people who are in need first. Then, once we have effectively ‘sorted ourselves out’, we can use the remaining resources to help others. This could also be applied to other countries, but I can only use the UK as my reference. 
  
  Thank you in advance. I do want to make it abundantly clear that I am not racist or anti-immigration, I simply feel that there needs to be a re-prioritisation of resources. But I’ve come here to hear the other side.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a medical ', 'relation': ' had to leave on ', 'condition': 'due to PTSD'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' homeless', 'relation': 'ended up', 'condition': ' as part of my situation at the time'}, {'e1': ' I', 'e2': ' I had no support from anyone in regards to housing', 'relation': ' felt that', 'condition': ' As a British man in my 20’s'}, {'e1': 'there ', 'e2': ' a single person who was not born here in social housing', 'relation': 'should not be', 'condition': 'until we have offered that to British people who are in need first'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': ' the remaining resources to help others', 'relation': 'can use', 'condition': 'once we have effectively ‘sorted ourselves out’'}]"
166,P0167,1rrod76,"Thinking about the current UK outcry about former US ambassador Peter Mandleson getting a payout following him being sacked.
  
  Politics is open to public scrutiny. That’s a good thing. Private businesses are not, or at least not to the same extent.
  
  I’m sure that there are plenty of examples where someone senior in a business behaves badly, and that behaviour is a) kept private by the use of NDA’s to protect the business’s public image and b) may or may not be sanctioned internally. Likewise, I’m sure there are examples of people who have received hefty severance payments as the result of a disciplinary action or clauses in their contracts.
  
  If businesses were are open to the public about such things as politics, I wonder if people would be more or less outraged by politicians scandals?
  
  To be clear - I’m aware a major point here is that we should expect our elected officials and those they appoint into positions of national importance to be held to a higher moral standard. That’s not the debate I want to have here.
  
  My interest is in the extent to which our view of the morality of people in politics is affected by an absence of information about the behaviour and morality of people in comparably senior business positions.","[{'e1': ' people ', 'e2': 'politicians scandals', 'relation': 'would be more or less outraged by ', 'condition': 'If businesses were are open to the public about such things as politics'}]"
167,P0168,1rrtne9,"\[According to yougov.com\]([https://yougov.com/en-gb/articles/54288-voting-intention-9-10-march-2026-ref-23-con-19-grn-19-lab-17-ld-14](https://yougov.com/en-gb/articles/54288-voting-intention-9-10-march-2026-ref-23-con-19-grn-19-lab-17-ld-14)), in Westminster, Reform is polling 23%, Conservatives are polling 19%, Greens are polling 19%, Labour is polling 17%, and Lib Dems are polling 14%. When the vote is split this many ways, it makes no sense at all to have FPTP. If, in 2029, Reform wins the general election with just a total share of 28.5% of the votes, they will hold an entire 308 seats. This is what will happen under FTPT.
  
  From a self-preservation point of view, Labour simply cannot allow this to happen. They probably won’t win in 2029, and if Reform wins with just a 30% share of the votes, they’ll have free reign to do just about anything (like dismantling the Civil Service and liquidating pensions).
  
  Now, if we swap to proportional representation, then Labour will hold over 100 seats even with their current polling figures, as opposed to just a few dozen, meaning they could form a coalition with the Greens and the Lib Dems have a majority of the seats. They could act as a counterweight to Reform, and importantly, they’d still hold a considerable amount of power as opposed to none.","[{'e1': ' Reform ', 'e2': '23%', 'relation': 'is polling ', 'condition': 'in Westminster'}, {'e1': ' Conservatives', 'e2': '19%', 'relation': ' are polling ', 'condition': 'in Westminster'}, {'e1': 'Greens ', 'e2': '19%', 'relation': 'are polling ', 'condition': 'in Westminster'}, {'e1': 'Labour ', 'e2': '17%', 'relation': 'is polling ', 'condition': 'in Westminster'}, {'e1': 'Lib Dems ', 'e2': '14%', 'relation': 'are polling ', 'condition': 'in Westminster'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'FPTP', 'relation': 'makes no sense at all to have ', 'condition': 'When the vote is split this many ways'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': '308 seats', 'relation': 'will hold an entire ', 'condition': 'If, in 2029, Reform wins the general election with just a total share of 28.5% of the votes'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'just about anything', 'relation': 'will have free reign to do ', 'condition': ' if Reform wins with just a 30% share of the votes'}, {'e1': 'Labour', 'e2': 'over 100 seats even with their current polling figures', 'relation': ' will hold ', 'condition': 'if we swap to proportional representation'}]"
168,P0169,1rrw75g,I believe that if you have a felony for having drugs you should be able to own a gun. I understand keeping guns away from felons but there are levels to being one. I myself am a felon. I have no history of violence like so many other people who used to use drugs. I do believe if you are currently addicted to some drug or are abusing them you shouldn't be able to own one. But For the people in recovery for years who maybe got caught when they we're young and dumb I think the law should change. I can't think of any other reason right now but I'm sure my view will become more fleshed out as people comment.,"[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'a gun', 'relation': 'should be able to own ', 'condition': ' if you have a felony for having drugs'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'a gun', 'relation': ""shouldn't be able to own "", 'condition': 'if you are currently addicted to some drug or are abusing them'}]"
169,P0170,1rrwgvm,"There is a lot of news out there saying you are about to lose your job to AI or some type of next generation automation. I'm not convinced.
  
  8 years ago self driving cars were going to take over in 5 years. 2 years ago AI was going to replace all white collar jobs in 14 months. Right now entry level jobs will be replaced by humanoid robots in 2 years... 
  
  But it never happens. I think the real reason for the job loss narrative is to get people back into the grind after they got a taste of enhanced unemployment during Covid. You aren't going to lose your job because some new technology is going to wipe the job market in 8 months. 
  
  You are going to lose your job because we are entering a recession because fraudsters have been sucking the economy dry for 10 years. The economic cycle exists to destroy the fake innovators who keep borrowing and begging for investments. You will survive because human labor is still hard to replace.","[{'e1': 'self driving cars', 'e2': ' take over', 'relation': ' were going to', 'condition': ' in 5 years'}, {'e1': 'AI ', 'e2': ' replace all white collar jobs ', 'relation': 'was going to', 'condition': 'in 14 months'}, {'e1': 'entry level jobs', 'e2': 'humanoid robots ', 'relation': ' will be replaced by ', 'condition': 'in 2 years'}, {'e1': 'the real reason for the job loss narrative ', 'e2': 'people back into the grind ', 'relation': 'is to get ', 'condition': 'after they got a taste of enhanced unemployment during Covid'}, {'e1': 'people', 'e2': 'enhanced unemployment ', 'relation': 'got a taste of ', 'condition': 'during Covid'}, {'e1': 'fraudsters ', 'e2': ' the economy dry', 'relation': 'have been sucking', 'condition': ' for 10 years'}]"
170,P0171,1rrxzxx,"Cheating, the act of betraying your partner, going behind their back and getting together with another person, can cause serious psychological damage to the person that got cheated on.
  Some people have their trust broken forever, never truly recovering from this level of betrayal. Changing the way they view the world and live their lives forever.
  
  This is psychological assault, and should be treated in the same way as physical assault, if not worse. 
  
  I firmly believe that Cheating should be considered a criminal offense, carrying punishment such as jail time and maybe even a register to a list like a ""Public Cheaters Registry"" people can querry to find out if they are about to date a cheater and make a decision on if they are Okay with that.
  
  Infidelity is an incredibly serious and damaging breach of trust, and I find it ridiculous that its mostly left unpunished by the law. It goes without saying that this rule should apply to everyone. If you're in a committed mutually exclusive relationship you should be punished for hurting your partner in such a deliberate way.
  
  And yes, it is deliberate. Cheating is never a ""mistake"". Its a conscious decision you made and that you had ample chances to avoid making. Cheating is never excusable, Cheating is never justified. And most of all, cheating will always result in your partner getting hurt. If you consciously make the choice to hurt another, you need to be punished by the full extent of the law.
  
  Change my mind.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'hurting your partner in such a deliberate way.', 'relation': 'should be punished for ', 'condition': ""If you're in a committed mutually exclusive relationship""}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'the full extent of the law', 'relation': 'need to be punished by ', 'condition': 'If you consciously make the choice to hurt another'}]"
171,P0172,1rs777w,"The West will always need to influence who is in power in MENA countries because if you allow real democracy, they will vote in people who are against the existence of Israel as a state. When Israel was founded, there were actually a lot of Jewish people who lived in peace in Palestine for a while before that (ie Zionist movement pre-WW2). Muslims in MENA did not really care and had sizeable Jewish populations themselves. After establishment and recognition of Israel, that is when Jews were kicked out of MENA states. Some education efforts similar to post-WW2 occupations of Axis (and China with its Muslim population) may be necessary to convince MENA people to stop hating Israel before they can be allowed real democracy.","[{'e1': ' they', 'e2': 'the existence of Israel as a state', 'relation': ' will vote in people who are against ', 'condition': ' if you allow real democracy'}, {'e1': ' Jews ', 'e2': 'MENA states', 'relation': 'were kicked out of ', 'condition': 'After establishment and recognition of Israel'}, {'e1': 'Some education efforts similar to post-WW2 occupations of Axis ', 'e2': 'MENA people to stop hating Israel ', 'relation': 'may be necessary to convince ', 'condition': 'before they can be allowed real democracy.'}]"
172,P0173,1rse064,"Been on a lot of car forums lately and everyone there seem to hate Electric Vehicles, saying the electricity source isn't clean, that there is no soul in the cars and worries about the range anxiety.
  
  Keeping the soul aside, I believe Electric cars could be the best viable option for us in the future (especially seeing how oil prices fluctuate based on wars)....abt 15 years back, EVs were absolutely trash (Smart Cars, G Wiz's), but in less than 2 decades, we've got some absolutely wonderful EVs (Teslas, Porsches, Kia, Byd, all of them have some absolutely amazing cars in their lineup). 
  
  Who knows what could happen in a few more years?? Maybe we'd not have to worry abt range anxiety (due to fast charging and better batteries) and the source of electricity could be improved too, making it clean and green","[{'e1': 'Electric cars ', 'e2': 'the best viable option for us', 'relation': 'could be ', 'condition': ' in the future'}, {'e1': ' EVs ', 'e2': ' trash', 'relation': 'were absolutely', 'condition': '15 years back'}, {'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'some absolutely wonderful EVs', 'relation': 'have got ', 'condition': ' in less than 2 decades'}]"
173,P0174,1rsee08,"It's quite popular to romanticize and accept death. Many believe that ""death gives life meaning"" and are therefor hesitant about human endeavours to prolong life. I STRONGLY disagree. I believe that death is bad.
  
  **Why is death bad?**
  
  1. All goodness in life comes from conscious experience (you cannot enjoy what you cannot experience)
  2. Death deprives us of conscious experience
  3. Death deprives us of goodness
  4. Depriving us of goodness is bad
  5. Death is bad
  
  Of course, sometimes death is the lesser evil. If you *know* that the rest of your life will consist of pure suffering, you may as well end it.
  
  Fiction portrays immortality in many different ways. I don't want to be immortal in the sense that I survive until the heat death of the universe and wind up soaring through the vacuum of space forever, and I support medically-assisted dying. Quite often, however, to live longer is an objectively good thing as it facilitates experiencing further goodness and providing further goodness to others.
  
  **Does death give life meaning?**
  
  Nothing motivates you like a deadline, and death is the ULTIMATE deadline. Without the time constraint of death, would we be driven to do anything at all?
  
  I believe so. Eighty years of life is already so long that the brain can't really comprehend it. It's long enough to *feel* infinite, and many people live their lives without really thinking about the fact that they will one day die. This doesn't seem to prevent people from setting goals, enjoying various activities, and achieving extreme fulfillment. I think we can infer from this that a life without death altogether could still feel meaningful.
  
  We have zero data on what it's like to live for more than about 120 years, so it's hard to say with any degree of certainty how quickly someone would get bored and go mad. However, I don't see any inherent reason why millions of years on a thriving planet Earth wouldn't be enjoyable.
  
  In my ideal world, everyone would be able to live for as long as they want. I believe in personal choice and acknowledge that death is sometimes the better option, so I like the idea of a killswitch that people can use when they truly feel they want to die. In general, however, I reject the idea that we should embrace death.
  
  **Re: Overpopulation**
  
  Note that my knowledge on global policy and economics is limited, so the focus of this CMV is moreso on individual feelings about death rather than the widespread ramifications of immortality. Still, I want to somewhat address this and am open to discussing it - you just might have a hard time changing my mind on this particular point because even if you make an amazing argument, I can't in good faith accept it knowing that I'm ignorant of a LOT of the variables at play.
  
  Anyway, if everyone were more or less immortal, overpopulation would be a huge problem. There are many potential solutions. We could colonize other planets, work to make currently uninhabitable parts of the world inhabitable, and limit child-rearing, to name a few. I know that these are not easy solutions. Still, however, I think there's a fair chance that curing death is worth this nasty side effect.
  
  Death deprives us of potentially INFINITE experience and goodness, and as such is virtually infinitely bad. In the grand scheme of humanity's problems, death itself is the final boss (with *suffering* itself being the secret TRUE final boss, but that's a separate issue). To defeat it is a task worthy of quite a lot of sacrifice.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'end it.', 'relation': 'may as well ', 'condition': ' If you *know* that the rest of your life will consist of pure suffering'}, {'e1': ' everyone ', 'e2': 'as long as they want', 'relation': 'would be able to live for ', 'condition': 'In my ideal world'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the idea that we should embrace death.', 'relation': 'reject ', 'condition': 'In general'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ""I'm ignorant of a LOT of the variables at play."", 'relation': ""can't in good faith accept it knowing that "", 'condition': 'if you make an amazing argument'}, {'e1': ' overpopulation ', 'e2': 'a huge problem', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'if everyone were more or less immortal'}, {'e1': ' death itself', 'e2': 'the final boss', 'relation': ' is ', 'condition': ""In the grand scheme of humanity's problems""}]"
174,P0175,1rsfcu1,"I’ve been thinking about democracy and I keep coming back to the idea that, at its core, it’s just majoritarianism (or populism, or tyranny by the majority, whatever you wanna call it). People often argue that democracy protects minority rights through constitutions, courts, and institutional checks. But those limits ultimately onlu exist because a majority allows them to exist.
  
  If a majority truly wants something strongly enough, it can amend a constitution, elect leaders who ignore institutional constraints, or simply get rid of said protections in totality, the supposed safeguards against “tyranny of the majority” still ultimately depend on the majority’s willingness to respect them.
  
  Because of that, it seems misleading to say democracy protects minorities in any fundamental way. At the end of the day, the system still rests on the principle that the majority of the \*people\* has the final authority.
  
  So my view is that democracy isn’t really a system that balances majority rule with minority protection. Instead, it’s fundamentally majority rule with temporary limits that exist only as long as the majority tolerates them.
  
  This is why I find myself somewhat agreeing with Socrates annoyance with democracy in Athens. His concern (at least in Platos writings) was that political power in a democracy ultimately flows from the uneducated and rather stupid masses and who can manipulate them the best rather than from knowledge or competence.
  
  Especially today, so much of modern democracy (especially in the US) is literally who can promise the most things while making it sound realistic, when in reality none of those promises are really possible, and none of them are really issues either. (Think of DOGE)
  
  Anyways i digress, (im starting to rant) ultimately democracy gives absolute power to the majority of the people, even if they mask it with supposed safeguards. \*\*The basis for governance cannot simply be the majority of the people.\*\*
  
  CMV
  
  Edit: Ill restate, my view is \*\*The basis for governance cannot simply be the majority of the people.\*\* that is my claim, and that is what my view that im looking for a compelling reason to change","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'a constitution', 'relation': 'can amend ', 'condition': 'If a majority truly wants something strongly enough'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': ' leaders who ignore institutional constraints', 'relation': 'can elect ', 'condition': 'If a majority truly wants something strongly enough'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'said protections in totality', 'relation': 'can simply get rid of ', 'condition': 'If a majority truly wants something strongly enough'}]"
175,P0176,1rsg5mr,"Before I write my whole post, I need to clarify something (because I'm sure as hell that someone will misunderstand what I'm trying to say).
  
  If after reading my post you think something like ""but I like helping my non-disabled wife/husband/friend/brother/sister/father/mother/uncle/grandfather/grandmother/dog/whatever!"" YES, THAT'S MY WHOLE POINT, YOU SHOULD ENJOY HELPING PEOPLE EVERYTIME YOU DO IT, THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.
  However, you shouldn't be FORCED to do it against your will.
  
  Now, getting to the point...
  
  I've seen a lot of posts lately from disabled people who are feeling like shit or are asking for help because they want to help/support their non-disabled loved ones, commonly their partners, and I don't have anything against that.
  
  But you, as an disabled person, aren't forced to give support to your non-disabled loved ones, and most importantly, they aren't ENTITLED to your support.
  
  
  You, (whatever you like it or not) have a disadvantage, this might sound harsh because no one wants to have a disadvantage right? But not everything about it has to be bad, let's remember what it means being disabled:
  
  Disability means that you're limited to a severe or absolute degree in important areas of life.
  
  ""Disability"" is a legal term, not a social one, but why? Because the word ""disability"" is a way to distinguish the people who need support in order to cope or overcome their struggles and those who don't have those struggles or can overcome it alone.
  
  The first group is ENTITLED by literal LEGAL DEFINITION to receive support and help because they need it, the second group isn't entitled and doesn't need that support.
  
  Always remember that, you're ENTITLED to support and help, your problems are (by legal standards) always valid and important, you literally matter more than the average person, if that wasn't the case, you wouldn't be disabled nor getting support.
  
  Talking in a social level, this applies too, but _morally_, helping the disabled is always the correct thing to do, you shouldn't be ""grateful"" because of that because _you're entitled to it_.
  
  Non-disabled folks aren't entitled to your support, no matter how close they're to you, because they don't need it, if they did, they would be disabled as you, you get the idea right?
  
  Of course, you can support them and be there for them when they need it (like I said at the beginning for god sake) but this should always come from your heart and will to help, not for ""obligation"" or ""entitlement"", _you're the disabled one, not them._
  
  The only ones who are entitled to get help in order to overcome their problems are those who can't do it alone, a non-disabled person can do it alone, if that wasn't the case, they wouldn't be non-disabled right?
  
  
  And if you want to help them, great! But _feel like it_, and don't do it for moral obligation.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'disabled nor getting support.', 'relation': ""wouldn't be "", 'condition': ""if that wasn't the case""}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'disabled as you', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'if needed that support'}]"
176,P0177,1rshw6r,"The whole point of the movie is that Chris Gardner overcomes a ton of difficulties including homelessness, a breakup, and chasing down his scanning devices, and at the same time holds down an unpaid internship, and eventually lands the job, being able to provide for his son. Inspiring, right? Chris's hard work ethic brings him to success!
  
  Here's the problem: there were 20 people fighting for one singular job position. What happened to the other 19 people? They likely had their own problems and reasons for needing the job, yet they walk away with nothing but months of time lost. It gives the message that if you aren't very talented, extremely hard working, and quite lucky, you can't get yourself where you want to in life. Chris Gardner was extremely lucky in landing that job, and in 95% of real scenarios him and his son would've walked away continuing to be homeless. 
  
  It's a sad reflection on reality - you can do everything right and still lose badly.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'yourself where you want to in life', 'relation': ""can't get "", 'condition': "" if you aren't very talented, extremely hard working, and quite lucky""}, {'e1': ' he and his son ', 'e2': 'homeless. ', 'relation': ""would've walked away continuing to be "", 'condition': ' in 95% of real scenarios'}]"
177,P0178,1rssm3f,"""Taught by whom?"" Parents, schools that insist on displaying the 10 Commandments, etc.
  
  If propaganda and corrupt politics fucked off, and magick (which includes prayer, communion, etc) and Neo-Pagan practices were taught, Christianity wouldn't have its numbers.
  
  Much older faith where you can choose gods/goddesses, no gay conversion 'therapy' or woman hatred, much larger spiritual toolbox (Abrahamic magick doesn't compare to everything else out there)...
  
  The only reason Christianity has its numbers is through nasty means. Spilt blood, smear campaigns, demonizing Natives and forcing conversion, obnoxious intolerant evangelizing, etc.","[{'e1': ' Christianity ', 'e2': 'its numbers.', 'relation': ""wouldn't have "", 'condition': 'If propaganda and corrupt politics fucked off, and magick (which includes prayer, communion, etc) and Neo-Pagan practices were taught'}, {'e1': 'Christianity ', 'e2': 'its numbers ', 'relation': 'has ', 'condition': ' through nasty means. Spilt blood, smear campaigns, demonizing Natives and forcing conversion, obnoxious intolerant evangelizing, etc.'}]"
178,P0179,1rsyvan,"If their kid needs a computer for homework and studying, lock that PC up as tightly as possible to keep them away from social media and adult material. 
  If their teen needs a phone for safety, buying them a 'dumb phone' like the classic Jitterbug phone, it lets them be able to call mom or the police for help and send text msgs, thats it. No social media or adult content. They can wait until they are 18 years old for all of that stupid stuff. 
  But for the love of god, please stop buying iPads for your 2 year old as a cheap babysitter!","[{'e1': 'that PC', 'e2': 'social media and adult material. ', 'relation': 'should be locked up as tightly as possible to keep them away from ', 'condition': 'If their kid needs a computer for homework and studying'}, {'e1': ""a 'dumb phone' "", 'e2': 'the classic Jitterbug phone', 'relation': 'should be bought like ', 'condition': 'If their teen needs a phone for safety, '}]"
179,P0180,1rt6kcz,"This seems like a really easy argument to make but I went to a golf expo today and it really feels like golf has hit a post Covid maturity where the inclusiveness, affordability, and diversity of ways to play has never been higher.
  
  Some of my arguments:
  
  Public courses are thriving (at least around me) due to being open throughout Covid, and being able to charge enough to remain profitable.
  
  Private courses are also thriving due to more creative monetizing structures than just member dues.
  
  Equipment is more forgiving and affordable than ever and the used market is easier than ever to use (as a buyer or seller)
  
  Golf social media channels have created huge amounts of hype for golf at all levels.
  
  Indoor simulator golf is thriving and adding new levels of accessibility and fun that would otherwise intimidate new players.
  
  Equipment has reached a saturated level of sellers that there is cost competition at every level of new and used prices.
  
  I’m not saying it can’t get better than this, but it certainly is great!
  
  Update: adding “in most places” to account for special circumstances unrelated to the point of the post.","[{'e1': 'Public courses ', 'e2': 'thriving ', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'due to being open throughout Covid'}, {'e1': 'Private courses ', 'e2': 'thriving ', 'relation': 'are also ', 'condition': 'due to more creative monetizing structures than just member dues.'}, {'e1': 'Golf social media channels ', 'e2': 'huge amounts of hype for golf ', 'relation': 'have created ', 'condition': 'at all levels.'}]"
180,P0181,1rtc5m3,"The symphonist Anton Bruckner is superior to his contemporary Gustav Mahler, despite the latters greater popularity, when judging based on their symphonies that they have both written. Both wrote incredibly long symphonies with bold and daring choices (Mahler using a hammer as an instrument and Bruckner adding Wagner Tubas to the score) 
  
  
  I would say Mahler is a great symphonist indeed but Bruckner reached higher heights and most importantly was more sincere. Mahler often engaged in jokes and irony in his symphonies but Bruckner was 100% serious all the way through. I feel that a medium with as much gravitas as the symphony shouldn’t entertain cheap humor. 
  
  When it comes to grand, epic moments. Bruckner has Mahler beat quite badly. The ending of Bruckner symphony 4 is only rivaled by the end of Mahlers symphony 2, and I would say the latter is cheapened by the use of choir which I feel does not really fit well into the symphonic format. Mahler uses the choir in quite a few symphonies whereas Bruckner uses them in none, which I really do appreciate. The place for the choir is the opera, not the symphony.
  
  
  
  So why is Mahler more popular than Bruckner despite the latter being better overall? I would argue that the one thing Mahler is better at is writing catchier melodies which casual listeners can more easily appreciate. Bruckner is more about the rhythm and counterpoint than melody. And more generally it requires more focus to be able to appreciate Bruckner than Mahler. For example the last movement of Bruckner 5 is a complex double fugue which the untrained listener could not even begin To understand.","[{'e1': 'The symphonist Anton Bruckner', 'e2': ' Gustav Mahler ', 'relation': ' is superior to his contemporary', 'condition': 'when judging based on their symphonies that they have both written'}, {'e1': ' Bruckner ', 'e2': 'Mahler', 'relation': ' quite badly beat ', 'condition': 'When it comes to grand, epic moments'}]"
181,P0182,1rtpkf6,"It is my belief that the United States is in a soft form of civil war. Instead of being fought with guns and explosives, the 2nd Civil War is currently being fought through Congress, the Presidency and other apparatuses of the state.
  
  It is being fought through our media and through our everyday life. Even mere phrases are points of contention, like the “happy holidays vs merry Christmas” debacle.
  
  It is for the best that this social war never turns into a shooting one. But if it does I am confident the regressive will prevail handily.
  
  This is because the American right has a near monopoly on force.
  
  Civilian gun ownership in America is predominantly Republican. Cops and their sympathizers are predominantly Republican. The military or at least the elements of the military that are responsible for directly committing the atrocities are Republican.
  
  The only true law of the world is that the people with better weapons dictate the rules. As it stands in the United States, that group of people are of the regressive kind.
  
  Which is why I am of the opinion that the progressive elements of the country put in effort to break the monopoly on force. Leftists should stockpile guns the way Republicans do. Embed themselves in the police and military to gain a better understanding of the enemy. And, if the dreaded shooting war comes delay their inevitable intervention on the behalf of the regressive.
  
  The alternative is certain annihilation. A people that cannot defend themselves cannot live. So leftists must defend themselves.","[{'e1': 'the regressive ', 'e2': 'prevail handily.', 'relation': 'will ', 'condition': ' if this social war turns into a shooting one'}, {'e1': ' that group of people', 'e2': 'the regressive kind.', 'relation': ' are of ', 'condition': 'As it stands in the United States'}, {'e1': 'leftists', 'e2': 'their inevitable intervention on the behalf of the regressive.', 'relation': 'should delay ', 'condition': 'if the dreaded shooting war comes '}]"
182,P0183,1rtpvb2,"US Republicans have plenty of motivation for their aggression: to enrich themselves and their friends in the arms industry, to feel above control and consequences, and to potentially set up an excuse for interfering in the November elections with special wartime powers.
  
  What's more, they previously announced their plans to interfere with Venezuela and Iran in their Project 2025.
  
  So why do people keep repeating that their motivation is Epstein distraction? 
  
  My theory is that conceiving US aggression that way lets people believe that the Republicans are scrambling and on the defensive, and that helps them reduce fear and anxiety. The danger is that painting these people as less nakedly and ambitiously aggressive than they really are is to their benefit.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': ' Venezuela and Iran', 'relation': 'previously announced their plans to interfere with', 'condition': ' in their Project 2025'}]"
183,P0184,1rtrfc6,"Humans are not capable of delivering truly impartial justice, even when legal systems are designed to promote fairness. It is all influenced by bias, emotions, and irrationality; never purely by evidence. the human brain is incapable of not interfering fairness with bias, even if people tried really hard not to do so. In theory, justice should rely only on evidence and reason, but in practice it is filtered through human judgment almost entirely. and because human judgment is never fully objective, the outcomes of justice cannot be fair. 
  
  don’t get me wrong, these influences can be and are subtle, but there is psychology research that describes people are constantly relying on cognitive shortcuts and biases when making decisions. like confirmation bias, in-group favoritism, and stereotyping ultimately becomes the final verdict in how individuals interpret information and evaluate others. even things like cultural values/moral beliefs, or emotional responses to a crime. what we call “justice” may just be an approximation shaped by unavoidable limits of human reasoning rather than a truly neutral or impartial process. 
  
  can judges, prosecutors, jurors, and investigators even objectively evaluate evidence and set aside personal feeling or biases? people always assume they can and have to, but genuinely psychologically says otherwise. what we call “impartial justice” is more of an ideal than something humans are actually capable of achieving
  
  has anyone taken the harvard IAT tests? go do it right now it’s quick and interesting. I bet if every judge and juror takes it they’ll fall under every bias result. I doubt not a single one will pass those tests loll","[{'e1': ' justice ', 'e2': 'on evidence and reason', 'relation': 'should rely only ', 'condition': ' In theory'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': ' human judgment almost entirely.', 'relation': 'is filtered through', 'condition': ' in practice '}, {'e1': ' the outcomes of justice ', 'e2': 'fair', 'relation': 'cannot be ', 'condition': 'because human judgment is never fully objective'}, {'e1': ' people ', 'e2': 'cognitive shortcuts and biases ', 'relation': 'are constantly relying on ', 'condition': 'when making decisions'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': ' every bias result', 'relation': 'will fall under', 'condition': 'if every judge and juror takes it'}]"
184,P0185,1rtrxb7,"First just clarifying, all child abusers and rapists can go to hell and I have no sympathy for them whatsoever. But the way people talk about it, even in many queer/feminist/leftist spaces, kinda rubs me the wrong way. 
  
  My point boils down to, the issue isn’t about a monstrous, minority, “perverted” attraction. The epstein files type of stuff is only the natural progression of the toxic kind of male heterosexuality that is prevalent across society. Framing it as an issue about “pedophiles” obfuscates how it’s rooted in the patriarchy and general rape culture.
  
  The grounds on which we know child abusers and rapists to be wrong should not be “ew, they’re attracted to kids.” There’s plenty of perfectly fine sexualities, kinks, weird and gross stuff that people feel aroused by, that might make most people go “ew weird”. Even being any brand of LGBTQ+ historically falls under that category. Inexplicably getting aroused by something abnormal is not inherently bad and cannot be policed on the grounds of “it’s icky.”
  
  The child abusers and rapists we actually hate aren’t even necessarily “pedophiles” in the sense that they are most “attracted” to children imo. They might be that too, but that’s not as important as the fact that they do it because they can. Because they know the kid has no way of escaping/retaliating/exposing them. They’re not pervert monsters, they’re mundane humans drunk on power.
  
  The issue is NOT a minority, abnormal sexuality that certain perverts just happen to have. The pedophile who is tragically burdened with this innate, abnormal desire for children is either a boogieman that doesn’t exist, or someone suffering from ocd who needs help. Actual child abuse that does happen is much more likely to be just an extreme version of the extremely mainstream heteropatriarchal kind of understanding of sex as domination and ownership. A history of men thinking that claiming and abusing others makes them bigger men, instead of understanding sex as a thing that makes you vulnerable to each other both ways and having sex as a form of relating to another PERSON they see as a person. 
  
  And this is all connected to how society fails to see just how much rape isn’t sex. Rape isn’t just sex with the minor modifier that there wasn’t proper consent. Rather, the fact that there is no consent changes the nature of the whole thing. With sex, the thought process goes, sexual desire -> action with the other person. With rape, the thought process is, desire for destruction/diminution/annihilation of the other person and desire to feel powerful by said destruction -> hence action against that other person. The way we keep trying to disconnect child abusers from the rest of humanity like they’re just aberrant examples of perverted desire is indicative of a disavowal against just how prevalent (extending beyond our current legal definitions of rape) the latter rape culture mentality is. 
  
  This is why I also think any type of “castration” as a sentence for rapists is wrong. If they can’t get their dicks up they’ll find some other weapon to commit their act of <trying to feel powerful via the destruction of another person>. This idea that some kind of inherent animal sexual need drives rape instead of the sadistic want for violence makes all kinds of sexual desire taboo, instead of the actual evil stuff going on.
  
  “Perversion” that disrupts what we think is normal forms of human connexion is good. The billionaire child abusers are much closer to just men doing what men do, following the existent dominant power structures… they don’t deserve the title of “perverts”","[{'e1': ' they', 'e2': 'some other weapon to commit their act of trying to feel powerful via the destruction of another person', 'relation': ' will find ', 'condition': 'If they can’t get their dicks up'}]"
185,P0186,1rtwbuk,"I'm a big fan of ranked voting with a condorcet complete winner selection method (I like BTR-IRV). The problem is that US presidential elections are already rife with accusations of fraud and meddling. RCV would require all ballots from the entire country to be sent to a computer for the winner to be computed. Can you image all the mistrust that would create? There would be so many accusations that the results were tampered with. Right now there is already doubt about when the ""score"" changes quickly when absentee and mail-in ballots are counted. Adding RCV into the mix sounds like chaos. I think the best near term goals for presidential elections are elimination of the electoral college and open primaries.
  
  For the legislature however, RCV with BTR-IRV would be great. The problem of complication is more manageable with the lower stakes. Having the house and senate become more like multi-party bodies would help lead to real oversight over the executive, rather than what we have now which is either a rubber stamp or complete obstruction depending on which party is in power. Thoughts?","[{'e1': ' there ', 'e2': ' the ""score"" changes quickly ', 'relation': 'is already doubt about when', 'condition': 'when absentee and mail-in ballots are counted'}]"
186,P0187,1ru3oym,"In political discourse, these terms are ubiquous. Yet when someone identifies as either, I have no idea what their positions are without further elaboration. I sincerely believe they only exist as a convenient way to trick people into ingroup/outgroup thinking which maximizes interaction for related pieces of content. Because these terms come up everywhere all the time, I'm wondering if I am missing something here. Prove me wrong by proving that they have any inherent meaning in modern context.
  
  I also know of several conflicting historic definitions ranging from views on the human condition itself (equality vs non-equality of all individuals) to where affiliated parties were sitting in some parliament at some point in time. I also never really hear of anyone describing themselves as a ""leftist"", but only see the term used as a derogatory ""gotcha"" aimed at others. The term ""rightist"" doesn't even seem to exist. Genuinely curious to read takes on this.
  
  Edit: Thanks to everyone who is replying to this. I do have to say that the responses are already offering widely different definitions, which kind of goes into my point that there is no consensus on either untul.more specific topics are discussed, making news headlines like ""The left thinks x"" inherently meaningless.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'their positions are without further elaboration', 'relation': 'have no idea what ', 'condition': 'when someone identifies as either'}]"
187,P0188,1ruebb8,"Basketball at elite level essentially automatically cuts off >98% of the male population as a source of talent, as really almost no one is competitive in the NBA without being a minimum height of 6'3. Even Steph Curry who has unreal natural ability is still in the 99th percentile in terms of height. 
  
  
  The NFL has the same shortcomings, QBs need to generally again be >6'2 with naturally extremely high amounts of lean muscle mass, linebackers are again people who are naturally >99.5th percentile in terms of lean muscle mass, although some other positions are more like soccer.
  
  
  Due to all these prerequisites to even enter the talent pool in these two major american sports, a logical conclusion is that soccer is left with a talent pool to pick from that absolutely dwarves either american sport.","[{'e1': 'no one ', 'e2': 'the NBA ', 'relation': 'is competitive in ', 'condition': ""without being a minimum height of 6'3.""}, {'e1': ' Steph Curry who has unreal natural ability', 'e2': 'the 99th percentile', 'relation': ' is still in ', 'condition': ' in terms of height.'}]"
188,P0189,1rukagu,"In 100 years, 200, maybe even 300, it'll just be like any other word. Right now it carries the weight of racial history and politics and personal opinions of the masses.
  
  The same obviously would apply to any other insult or slur, regardless of current weight or importance.
  
  To be clear, I'm not saying it doesn't matter. Right now, obviously, even with every caveat and niche case and exception and gamer private session with your friends, it's basically like harry potter and saying 'you know who's' real name.
  
  If a celebrity says it who's not of colour it's instant thrashing and backlash. 
  And fair enough.
  
  Racism = Thumbsdown
  
  I'm just saying it won't matter, much much much much later.
  
  (T/C: Timeline may accelerate based on societal collapse)
  
  Edit: since a few people already asked, NO, IM NOT SAYING RACISM WILL BE SOLVED, IM TALKING ABOUT THIS SPECIFIC WORD AND ITS CURRENT IMPORTANCE. For example, the fact that i'm saying 'the N word' instead of outright saying the word. That's part of our culture, and likely on a human timescale, quite temporary.","[{'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'any other word', 'relation': 'will just be like ', 'condition': 'In 100 years, 200, maybe even 300'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'the weight of racial history and politics and personal opinions of the masses', 'relation': 'carries ', 'condition': 'Right now'}]"
189,P0190,1rutpc9,"Flying cars are not a good idea nor would they be revolutionary. I believe this due to the fact that identical technology already exists (helicopters, airplanes), making aircraft as accessible as normal cars is a horrible idea, and how impractical they would be. 
  
  Identical technology already exists. Airplanes and helicopters already do the same thing that flying cars would do, and in a more efficient way. A flying car with rotors would essentially be the same thing as a helicopter or a large drone. If it worked using V/STOL it would be insanely expensive and would need to be in the shape of a jet.
  
  Making aircraft as accessible as normal cars is a horrible idea. Imagine giving everyone with cars access to helicopters. Terrible crashes would happen dozens of times a day. The only good use I can see would be flying taxis with well trained pilots, but again, helicopters can do the same thing.
  
  Flying cars would be impractical. Flying cars would be extremely expensive and they'd burn fuel much quicker than normal cars. Furthermore, the noise pollution caused by thousands of flying cars in the sky would be unbearable.","[{'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'insanely expensive ', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'If it worked using V/STOL '}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'the shape of a jet.', 'relation': 'would need to be in ', 'condition': 'If it worked using V/STOL '}]"
190,P0191,1rv8p0q,"The Internet is a great tool of communication, but when a country is at war, it doesn’t need random people blogging or sending videos online which the enemy can extract information from, spies used to spend months gathering the same Intel that can now be found on any Facebook group or Reddit thread, even answering seemingly innocuous questions from an online stranger like how many explosions you heard or what buildings were damaged gives the enemy vital information that they can then use to perfect their attack.
  Currently, there is no way to filter the benign from the dangerous online so severely restricting the Internet is the only option, example consider how Russia was able to adapt their techniques based on drone footage from the Ukrainian war.
  Other danger is that the enemy can use social media to whip up and inflame already existing tensions within a society, this is dangerous in peace time but in war it’s incredibly more so because people will do actions which benefit your adversary although they won’t know that they are doing it.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'random people blogging or sending videos online', 'relation': 'doesn’t need ', 'condition': 'when a country is at war'}, {'e1': 'Russia', 'e2': 'their techniques ', 'relation': ' was able to adapt ', 'condition': 'based on drone footage from the Ukrainian war'}]"
191,P0192,1rv97o4,"I don't wanna come off as a Reddit atheist here, I'm not even an atheist. But, I never understood the argument of ""there's no atheist in foxholes"" which is commonly used against atheists to discredit their beliefs, but I just don't get it. 
  
  First of all, how does what a human being believes at their worst even dictate reality? I think most people would do countless immoral acts when under serious pressure or torture. People fear unavoidable death, no wonder they reject everything they've ever believed or disbelieved. But within this argument, I pretended that this claim is grounded in reality, when it's not. 
  
  There are many studies that research the reactions of the human brain to the reminder of death. They used the supernatural belief scale and found out, that the SBS increased within the religious at the reminder of death, while it decreased within the atheists. So, after all, most people do cling onto their essence as they pass, whether they're a believer or a non-believer. 
  
  So, there are atheists in foxholes. And even if there weren't, it doesn't say much about reality, but more about the fragility of human morals.","[{'e1': 'most people ', 'e2': 'countless immoral acts ', 'relation': 'would do ', 'condition': 'when under serious pressure or torture'}]"
192,P0193,1rv97r0,"I'm going to define the point fairly strictly, because otherwise the debate gets messy.
  
  I'm saying that if the US exited NATO tomorrow (let's call that NATO Minus), it still would have the *military* capability as a bloc to stop all comers from seizing it's mainland territory. I'm not making any point about whether it has the political will, or the diplomatic coordination to stick together in such a war. I'm assuming nukes are off the table. I'm not saying an aggressor couldn't do serious damage with air power.
  
  I'm saying NATO Minus would be able to keep either the US, China, Russia, India, or any other country from seizing and holding any part of it's mainland territory uncontested for the long term. 
  
  I'm defining mainland territory as Canada + the map of Europe, minus minor islands (Guernsey, Ibiza, etc), and far flung Islands (Martinique, Chagos etc).
  
  I'm defining annexation as the territory being defacto under peaceful control of the occupying force, not a contested warzone, or imminent warzone. People are largely happy to move there and buy a house, and so on. 
  
  I'm not talking about a coalition like the entire rest of the world vs NATO Minus.
  
  Essentially I'm saying don't look for some technical loop hole that doesn't speak to the essence of my point - Nato Minus would be able to defend itself in a meaningful way.
  
  I'm also not looking for answers in the form ""Yes, but, the real question is..."". No. This is the real view.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': "" the *military* capability as a bloc to stop all comers from seizing it's mainland territory"", 'relation': 'still would have', 'condition': ""if the US exited NATO tomorrow (let's call that NATO Minus)""}]"
193,P0194,1rvb6r1,"""First of all, I’m woman myself.
  
  I’m honestly fed up with feminists crying over pink tax, saying that same products costs more for women than for men and that women are forced to pay more. If its same product, why just not buy the men’s? What is difference between men’s and women’s razor? Cream? …? None.
  
  If you are crying about hair services: 1) you dont need hairdresser, just do it at home 2) cutting longer hair requires way more skills than cutting with buzzer, so you are paying for skills, not your gender.
  
  99% of the products are literally the same and if you opt for paying more just bc there is written for women, dont cry about it. You chose it. And yes, men pay less for cosmetics and beauty stuff because they dont purchase it. And trust me honey, you dont need new makeup, nails, lashes,… you just want it and therefore it should be treated as “hobby” expense, not as tax. Everybody have their hobby and paying for cosmetics is way cheaper than other hobbies. ""","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': ' hairdresser', 'relation': 'dont need', 'condition': 'If you are crying about hair services'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'should not cry about ', 'condition': ' if you opt for paying more just bc there is written for women,'}]"
194,P0195,1rvog27,"Before I lay out why I believe this, I wanna say that I myself do not approve of Trump's management of diplomacy and the wars in Iran, Venezuela, among others, however, that is not to say that Trump is anything unique.
  
  US reputation already had some setbacks way before Trump took office, in 2011, during Obama’s term, Libya was bombed, one of the richest and most literate countries in Africa had been set back decades of progress. Other setbacks include the Russian invasion of Georgia and, most notably, the Russian invasion of Crimea, and in 1994, in exchange for Ukraine's giving up its nuclear arsenal, the US AND Russia gave security assurances to Ukraine, which we all know didn’t come. (https://www.armscontrol.org/factsheets/ukraine-nuclear-weapons-and-security-assurances-glance)
  
  During Biden’s term, Russia launched its full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Biden also gave 94 billion and an additional 17.3 billion dollars to Israel. Kalama also vocally stated her support for Israel during the 2024 elections. 
  (https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/4/24/biden-signs-law-securing-billions-in-us-aid-for-ukraine-israel)
  
  Bill Clinton also bombed Yugoslavia in 1999, which is only 2 years older than Gen Z generational oldest year, which is 1997. 
  
  
  Furthermore, from 2011, files were leaked that proved the US was spying on its own allies, Germany, France, South Korea etc, if the US was spying on these countries for decades I think it would be hard for any president, Democrat or Republican, to regain trust. (https://time.com/6269905/us-pentagon-leaked-documents-south-korea/) 
  
  
  This post isn’t to prove Republican foreign morality superiority. As I stated previously, I disapprove of Trump’s foreign policy and firmly believe our money should be spent on developing this country. But it’s to show that the media does have a bias towards Trump, even though plenty of other presidents did the same things that Trump is criticized for. 
  
  
  Also, my last point, why are we so hyperfixated on Trump? From the Epstein files its pretty damn clear that all politicians work with each other and are trying to keep us divided, even when people agree with this, many still try to play “who's morally superior” game even though it's just a waste of time and is a bigger distraction from what's really important.","[{'e1': ' Libya ', 'e2': 'bombed', 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': 'in 2011, during Obama’s term'}, {'e1': ' the US AND Russia ', 'e2': 'security assurances to Ukraine', 'relation': 'gave ', 'condition': "" in exchange for Ukraine's giving up its nuclear arsenal""}, {'e1': 'Russia ', 'e2': 'full-scale invasion of Ukraine', 'relation': 'launched its ', 'condition': 'During Biden’s term'}, {'e1': ' Kalama ', 'e2': 'her support for Israel ', 'relation': 'also vocally stated ', 'condition': 'during the 2024 elections. '}, {'e1': 'Bill Clinton ', 'e2': 'Yugoslavia ', 'relation': 'also bombed ', 'condition': 'in 1999'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'any president, Democrat or Republican, to regain trust.', 'relation': 'would be hard for ', 'condition': 'if the US was spying on these countries for decades'}, {'e1': ' all politicians ', 'e2': 'each other and are trying to keep us divided', 'relation': 'work with ', 'condition': 'From the Epstein files'}]"
195,P0196,1rvsxqd,"Political democracy and economic democracy can't exist without each other. When the economy is owned and controlled by a small class of people, they will always use that position to dominate politics. Campaign finance laws can soften the edges, but wealth inequality will always corrupt the power structure it exists in.
  
  The answer isn't government control for it's own sake, because that just shifts the power from economic elites to political elites. The only way to sustainably democratize the economy is to replace shareholder-based corporations with worker cooperatives and public enterprises. This prevents a few oligarchs from sitting at the top siphoning all of the wealth and productivity.
  
  Most people spend the best decades of their lives working for bosses who have total control over their time and the fruits of their labor. Economic power is political power, and until ordinary people have genuine ownership and control over the economy, elections are just a polite competition between competing donor classes.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'that position to dominate politics', 'relation': 'will always use ', 'condition': 'When the economy is owned and controlled by a small class of people'}, {'e1': ' elections', 'e2': 'a polite competition between competing donor classes.', 'relation': ' are just ', 'condition': 'until ordinary people have genuine ownership and control over the economy'}]"
196,P0197,1rvu8w3,"Gun Owners of America is one of the more hardcore and passionate gun rights lobbying organizations in the country. If you pay enough attention to their publications, you'll notice a theme. Pam Bondi and Trump's DOJ have been villainized several times just within the past few months in their Youtube videos on their Youtube channel.
  
  Members of the Supreme Court had the opportunity to strike down the constitutionality of requiring permits to carry a gun in public during NYSPRA v Bruen but only eliminated the practice of may issue conceal carry permits.
  
  The Supreme Court has also denied cert to several cases that could settle whether assault weapons bans are constitutional.
  
  Many states may soon pass or have passed significant gun control and the Supreme Court does not seem to care
  
  Trump and his administration could be much more aggressive in pursuing more lax gun laws federally, but they seem to be focused on illegal alien deportations and a war with Iran.
  
  Heck, the Trump administration sent someone to argue against marijuana users from being able to own guns in the oral arguments for US v Hemani.
  
  With the Supreme Court, there are some notable exceptions, Clarence Thomas being one of them, but their de facto rulings and stances on gun rights are more moderate than people may give them credit for.
  
  **TL;DR The Supreme Court and the Trump administration are much less pro gun in word and deed than some people may think**","[{'e1': ' you', 'e2': 'a theme', 'relation': ' will notice ', 'condition': 'If you pay enough attention to their publications'}, {'e1': 'Members of the Supreme Court ', 'e2': 'the constitutionality of requiring permits to carry a gun in public ', 'relation': 'had the opportunity to strike down ', 'condition': 'during NYSPRA v Bruen'}, {'e1': 'the Trump administration ', 'e2': 'someone to argue against marijuana users from being able to own guns ', 'relation': 'sent ', 'condition': 'in the oral arguments for US v Hemani.'}]"
197,P0198,1rw0uvu,"In my opinion LGBT people fall under two very different camps in the Israel/Palestine conflict. Those two being
  
  1. The general leftist stance (Pro-Palestine)
  
  2. Straight up genocidal towards Palestinians
  
  I literally haven’t seen an LGBT person who has a normal pro-Israel stance and I don’t think it’s just me who’s experienced this. The people in camp 1 mostly do it because well most of them are leftist and leftists typically are pro-Palestinians so they will be pro-Palestinian to support other leftists. The people in camp 2 think Palestinians are subhuman because the society doesn’t have.. the kindest opinions towards LGBT to put it lightly 
  
  Even though Palestine is a pretty homophobic society, most LGBT individuals aren’t going to be genocidal towards them and will side with their leftist allies.
  
  Change my view","[{'e1': ' LGBT people ', 'e2': 'two very different camps ', 'relation': 'fall under ', 'condition': 'in the Israel/Palestine conflict'}]"
198,P0199,1rw7bxz,"My view is not that parents must bear unlimited lifelong responsibility in every case. It is that having a child means accepting a substantial duty of care that does not suddenly end when they become a legal adult. I think the cultural norm of “18 and out” is arbitrary, often coercive, and encourages parents to use housing insecurity as a disciplinary tool.
  
  I don’t think turning 18 meaningfully changes a person’s need for stability, and I think using threats like “get a job or move out” as a primary method of enforcing behaviour is harmful. At minimum, parents should expect to provide a safety net (e.g., housing, food, or equivalent support) well into early adulthood and not treat it as conditional leverage by default.
  
  I also think that when parents choose to have children, they are taking on risk, and should bear more of the burden of that risk rather than shifting it onto their children or society prematurely. I lean towards anti-natalism however, I’m no longer convinced that this responsibility must be total or lifelong in all cases as it is impossible to know whether total suffering or harm would reduce as a result of new risk evaluation.
  
  **What would change my view:**
  
  * Evidence or strong arguments that requiring adult children to move out (or making support conditional) generally leads to better long-term outcomes (e.g., independence, wellbeing) than extended parental support
  * A clear argument for why 18 (or a similar age) is a justified threshold for significantly reducing parental responsibility, rather than an arbitrary legal or cultural boundary
  * A convincing case that some level of conditional support (e.g., requiring effort, contribution, or progress) is not coercive and is necessary to prevent harm or dysfunction within the household
  * Evidence that extended unconditional support commonly leads to worse outcomes (e.g., long-term dependency or reduced functioning) that outweigh the harms of early forced independence
  
  I am open to changing my view if it can be shown that my position leads to worse overall outcomes or is based on flawed assumptions about autonomy, responsibility, or harm.","[{'e1': 'having a child ', 'e2': ' a substantial duty of care that does not suddenly end ', 'relation': 'means accepting', 'condition': 'when they become a legal adult.'}]"
199,P0200,1rw7ks8,"I have to preface this with I am partially guilty of this myself.
  
  That being said, I believe that the internet has turned most of us into douchebags. I was scrolling yesterday and people were dragging someone because of their gofundme, because they didn't like it. 
  
  They didn't care that their words may have an effect on this person's mental health. There was so many options to treat this person with even a shred of human decency, and the internet just tore them to shreds.
  
  Perhaps I am too jaded or soft(whatever you want to call it), but I try to approach most things with some sense of kindness. Not everything, but if someone is hurting, there's very little reason to kick them when they're down. If you don't agree with it then you can move on. 
  
  We've become a society that seems to get their endorphins from being douchebags because we can hide behind these screens and there's very little real-world consequences to the words we say. 
  
  For instance, a former drug user makes a post about how proud they are of their sobriety. Honestly, I think that's something to celebrate. It's a struggle and I know people that have gone through that. I'm truly happy for those people. But there are so many people telling them that they are still trash. There's no need for that.
  
  
  Human decency is in a rapid decline due to the internet. I would say 90% of it is the internet, 10% is a general culture change.","[{'e1': 'people ', 'e2': 'someone ', 'relation': 'were dragging ', 'condition': ""because of their gofundme, because they didn't like it. ""}, {'e1': ' there ', 'e2': ""kick them when they're down"", 'relation': 'is very little reason to ', 'condition': 'if someone is hurting'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'move on. ', 'relation': 'can ', 'condition': ""If you don't agree with it""}, {'e1': 'a society ', 'e2': 'endorphins from being douchebags ', 'relation': 'that seems to get their ', 'condition': ""because we can hide behind these screens and there's very little real-world consequences to the words we say. ""}, {'e1': 'Human decency ', 'e2': 'a rapid decline ', 'relation': 'is in ', 'condition': 'due to the internet'}]"
200,P0201,1rwb13t,"I think so, because there are a few trends that were trending long enough before and are very unlikely to change:
  
  1. Genetic engineering and other instruments will make (already make) modification and/or creation of pathogenic viruses and bacteria very easy and cheap, a task for small government departments or private enthusiast groups. There might emerge an idea that you can somehow do enough modifications and make such weapons ""safer for yourself and worse for enemies"" (although ""genetic weapons"" don't really work, but enough people still believe in them).
  2. Antimicrobial resistance problem will only worsen, and paths to circumvent it, considering the post-Stalin humanity degeneration, will not be found quickly enough. It makes bio-weapons considerably more damaging.
  3. Quite a few countries are more likely to be invaded if they do NOT have WMDs, and are motivated to seek for cheap and easy deterrent solutions (and let's not point fingers, but sometimes also offensive or threatening stuff). If enough such countries make such projects, it will not make sense to keep anti-bio-WMD treaties anymore (though there's quite a bit of hypocrisy in the current world anyway), so starting and waging wars between various WMD holders will become harder for some time and much easier later, when demand exceeds anyway (and maybe defensive measures improve).
  
  \*\*\*
  
  I'd be glad to be fairly proven wrong, because it will provide me with new and significant knowledge.","[{'e1': 'a few countries ', 'e2': 'invaded', 'relation': 'are more likely to be ', 'condition': ' if they do NOT have WMDs'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'anti-bio-WMD treaties anymore', 'relation': 'will not make sense to keep ', 'condition': 'If enough such countries make such projects'}, {'e1': 'starting and waging wars between various WMD holders ', 'e2': ' harder for some time and much easier later', 'relation': 'will become', 'condition': 'when demand exceeds anyway'}]"
201,P0202,1rwkwzd,"This is not an anti-Trump post, I just want to focus on America as a whole.
  
  Since the end of World War 2, America has lost the following wars:
  
  
  \- Vietnam War
  
  \- Korean War
  
  \- Iraq War
  
  \- Now Trump has admitted that the Iran War is not going to plan and they're losing.
  
  
  For all intensive purposes, America is the world's military superpower. America would have to prove themselves against a formidable power such as Russia or China. The equivalent is the Roman Empire defeating Carthage Empire or the British Empire defeating the Spanish Armada. America struggles against countries 1/4 of their size. This does not scream superpower.
  
  I'm starting to believe those Europeans that claim America didn't do anything until like 3-4 years into World War 2.","[{'e1': ' America ', 'e2': 'anything ', 'relation': ""didn't do "", 'condition': 'until like 3-4 years into World War 2'}]"
202,P0203,1rx3hm3,"Current polling is mixed on this, with some showing more dem support and some showing more rep support. That said im certain of this for the following reasons.
  
  1) AI companies and their backers are deeply tied to the American political right(same with big tech in general). Ellison is firmly Trump aligned, Sam Altman is a Peter Thiel creation, and Anthropic also partners heavily with Palantir whatever Amodei says in public. Musk needs no explanation. Bezos and Zuckerberg have similarly thrown their lot in with Trump and MAGA and are receiving pro data center legislation and subsidies in exchange. Basically all the main oligarchs and the companies in the AI space are now tied to the political right. One might argue that theyre just shifting with the current admin but I disagree because of my next point.
  
  2) Impact on white collar work. Most white collar workers vote democrat, and most women do as well. The CEO of Palantir has already openly talked about removing the power of ""liberal educated women"" by using AI, and its not hard to see why. As a technology it's projected to hit white collar jobs, so primarily dem voters. Much as a lot of blue collar rust belt states turned to Trump because of offshoring manufacturing, white collar workers will turn to a Democrat who promises to stop white collar offshoring. AI CEO's are likely aware of this, and hedging their bets early on politicians who have aligned goals, namely the GOP.
  
  3) Inability of new players to break into the space. I realise my whole argument rests on the current crop of tech oligarchs remaining in control of the market and the tech. This seems inevitable, considering the truly deranged and enormous amount of investment and resources required for training new models. At the moment this shows no signs of changing, so the tech will continue to be dominated by the very rich and their companies able to burn VC money or their own.","[{'e1': 'a lot of blue collar rust belt states ', 'e2': 'Trump', 'relation': 'turned to ', 'condition': 'because of offshoring manufacturing'}]"
203,P0204,1rx5vgr,"As the title states, liberalism and, more specifically, Liberal Democracy had a good run, but their time has passed.
  
  We almost figured it out in the 90s, but since 2000 and 2001, there has been a slow but steady decline in the US and globally, and now the backsliding has started to speed up and will only worsen as conditions become harder, not easier.
  
  We’ve been here before. During the first half of the 20th century, most of the world flocked to authoritarianism. The only reason why a big chunk of the world today has a liberal democracy is that the United States specifically persevered and spread it across the globe during the Cold War and after (although how much they really spread or inspired is debatable, since they also backed many brutal dictatorships). And the only reason the U.S. remained a liberal democracy during the Gilded Age and Great Depression Era was that it had two transformational leaders in the two Roosevelts, who made the necessary structural changes at exactly the moment they were needed. Furthermore, there was still a widespread belief (among all generations) in the country's ideas and values, as well as in liberal democracy, which is why the attempted fascist coup (The Business Plot) against FDR failed. However, we just got lucky. If the two Roosevelts hadn’t risen to power, the U.S. would have followed the path of almost every other country in the world at the time: fascism or communism.
  
  We now find ourselves in a similar, if not more perilous, situation. The younger generations (especially Gen Z and Gen Alpha) no longer believe in liberal democratic principles like the previous generations did because they grew up in a world that, despite having liberal democracy as the establishment, was marked by chaos and confusion. Unlike Millennials, they didn't see the beauty of liberal democracy when it worked (the 90s). All they’ve seen is financial crises, political gridlock, rapid social and technological changes that disrupted everything they grew up to expect, and endless, seemingly pointless wars. The system, which is supposed to solve this, is not working currently, which is why they are embracing more illiberal and violent ideologies on both the left and right. If you think Trump is the peak of this authoritarian trend, you are deeply mistaken. Wait until you see President Fuentes (or someone similar), and the left and the right literally fighting to the death (with one side likely being sponsored by the state) in the streets. As opposed to the 60s when we had leaders in the Federal Government who (mostly) believed in the rule of law, we don’t have many of those anymore or coming up. And looking at the potential candidates for president in 2028, none strike me as being transformational, and even if some have good intentions, it’s very unlikely they get the necessary majorities in Congress to do anything meaningful or lasting like FDR did.
  
  We might be cooked, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy what you take for granted nowadays: women’s rights, LGBT rights, general stability, the ability to go out and be relaxed, and more, because it is all coming to an end much sooner than many of us expect, imo. Once the economy fully collapses here (due to a combination of the debt and the same shit as always), the old Democratic and Republican Parties will fall with it, as the disaffected youth, which will not be able to find employment (they already can’t, but the situation is still not as bad as it will be, soon), join radical political organizations to find purpose. You’ll likely see people openly branding themselves as illiberal/post-liberal very soon (they’ll drop the act that MAGA puts of pretending they are the true defenders of freedom and actually pro democracy, they won’t pretend anymore).
  
  Around this time, climate change and resource scarcity will also start becoming very bad, which will lead to more global instability (more migration crises, destruction, wars, etc.) During this moment of desperation, it is likely that the billionaire class, looking to keep their wealth and their power, will back some illiberal candidate and party here in the U.S. that promises to protect them in exchange for power, because by that point it will be a choice between fascism and socialism again, not the traditional parties nowadays, and once liberal democracy in the U.S. falls, the domino effect in the rest of the world will be real.
  
  Also, given that most of these movements are likely to be powered by frustrated and angry young men (who, fundamentally, are angry that they can’t get sex or a job), say goodbye to women’s rights. This will be a tragedy, obviously, but it’s inevitable if the system isn’t fixed soon. And as the world gets more chaotic and paranoia over birthrates and having a young population to support the system and war machine becomes prescient again, the rollbacks will get even worse. This is something we’ve seen in history time and time again when there is surplus of angry disaffected young men, so it’s something I expect too.
  
  Overall, it will be a world of resource scarcity (War is Peace), the law of the jungle, “freedom is overrated bro”, techno-feudalism and other man made horrors beyond our comprehension. I know this sounds fatalist, but I just don’t see any other way this ends until something changes soon. Change my view if you think I’m wrong, I have an open mind.","[{'e1': ' the backsliding ', 'e2': 'worsen ', 'relation': 'will only ', 'condition': 'as conditions become harder, not easier.'}, {'e1': ' most of the world ', 'e2': 'authoritarianism', 'relation': 'flocked to ', 'condition': 'During the first half of the 20th century'}, {'e1': ' the U.S.', 'e2': 'liberal democracy during the Gilded Age and Great Depression Era', 'relation': ' remained a ', 'condition': 'only because it had two transformational leaders in the two Roosevelts, who made the necessary structural changes at exactly the moment they were needed'}, {'e1': 'the U.S. ', 'e2': 'a liberal democracy ', 'relation': 'remained ', 'condition': 'during the Gilded Age and Great Depression Era'}, {'e1': 'the attempted fascist coup (The Business Plot) ', 'e2': 'FDR', 'relation': 'failed against', 'condition': ""because there was still a widespread belief (among all generations) in the country's ideas and values, as well as in liberal democracy""}, {'e1': ' the U.S. ', 'e2': ' the path of almost every other country in the world at the time: fascism or communism.', 'relation': 'would have followed', 'condition': 'If the two Roosevelts hadn’t risen to power'}, {'e1': 'The younger generations (especially Gen Z and Gen Alpha) ', 'e2': 'liberal democratic principles like the previous generations did ', 'relation': 'no longer believe in ', 'condition': 'because they grew up in a world that, despite having liberal democracy as the establishment, was marked by chaos and confusion'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': ' the beauty of liberal democracy when it worked (the 90s)', 'relation': ""didn't see "", 'condition': 'Unlike Millennials'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': ' more illiberal and violent ideologies on both the left and right', 'relation': 'are embracing', 'condition': 'because the system, which is supposed to solve this, is not working currently'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'deeply mistaken', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'If you think Trump is the peak of this authoritarian trend'}, {'e1': 'leaders in the Federal Government ', 'e2': 'in the rule of law', 'relation': 'believed ', 'condition': 'in the 60s'}, {'e1': ' the old Democratic and Republican Parties', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': ' will fall with ', 'condition': 'Once the economy fully collapses here'}, {'e1': ' the disaffected youth', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': ' will fall with ', 'condition': 'Once the economy fully collapses here'}, {'e1': ' climate change and resource scarcity ', 'e2': 'more global instability', 'relation': 'will also start becoming very bad, which will lead to ', 'condition': 'Around this time'}, {'e1': 'the billionaire class, looking to keep their wealth and their power', 'e2': 'some illiberal candidate and party here in the U.S. that promises to protect them in exchange for power', 'relation': 'will back ', 'condition': 'During this moment of desperation'}, {'e1': 'the billionaire class, looking to keep their wealth and their power', 'e2': 'some illiberal candidate and party here in the U.S. that promises to protect them in exchange for power', 'relation': 'will back ', 'condition': 'because by that point it will be a choice between fascism and socialism again, not the traditional parties nowadays'}, {'e1': ' the domino effect ', 'e2': 'real', 'relation': 'in the rest of the world will be ', 'condition': 'once liberal democracy in the U.S. falls'}, {'e1': ' the rollbacks ', 'e2': ' worse', 'relation': 'will get even', 'condition': ' as the world gets more chaotic and paranoia over birthrates '}, {'e1': ' the rollbacks ', 'e2': ' worse', 'relation': 'will get even', 'condition': ' as the world gets more chaotic and paranoia over having a young population to support the system '}, {'e1': ' the rollbacks ', 'e2': ' worse', 'relation': 'will get even', 'condition': ' as war machine becomes prescient again'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'any other way this ends ', 'relation': 'don’t see ', 'condition': 'until something changes soon'}]"
204,P0205,1rx8uuo,"basically my view here is simple
  
  1 Russia is benefiting hugely and has no reason to intervene here
  
  2 China also is at a very sweet spot given that they have raised their reserves more than the west
  
  3Eu is basically a joke and could not even enact damn Tarrif on the Greenland issue
  
  4 Great Britain is a regional power at best that could have some leverage only if they were using their bases
  
  5 Israel state has gone full schizo after the WW2 ptsd plus their are occupying “temporarily“ Lebanon so they are solid.
  
  6 Iran is obviously not taking seriously any guarantees at this point plus it is basically a cornered dog
  
  7 USA basically got dragged into it because of Israel (not debatable they have already admit red that) and are shitting their pants that if they leave Israel alone they ll go nuclear.
  
  So basically no one has real power leverage or incentive here. I firmly believe that unless every single gulf state threaten to either expel US bases or dump the petrodollar this will stall out for months maybe even years..
  
  What would change my view here is basically some strong motive or leverage for one or multiple of the sides mentioned to wrap this up PLUS a reasonable argument that Iran will believe that this really will stop.
  
  PS I seriously will have trouble to debate Iran giving nuclear capabilities since I seriously doubt they have them plus the USA supposedly has destroyed them. I also don’t accept that Iran will simply run out of offensive capabilities since I believe that they are a desperate cornered dog. Even if you completely destroyed every drone and launcher and that’s a huge IF they can restock later or lay mines. It is utterly unrelipstick to pretend you can indefi patrol their skies and occasionally bomb them. You need boots… I also don’t believe you can conquer Iran with boots.
  
  The PS section of course can debated but it would be very bad faith on my side to pretend it easy to change my mind there
  
  
  
  EDIT: I know gulf states dislike Iran. I know they are pro American. I am not arguing whether the gulf states will take Iran’s side by exerting pressure to the US. This is a guaranteed scenario eventually given that if this drags a year they will collapse economically. I am arguing wether some type of solution is feasible before they have to apply pressure","[{'e1': 'Great Britain ', 'e2': ' some leverage ', 'relation': 'could have', 'condition': 'only if they were using their bases'}, {'e1': 'Israel', 'e2': 'nuclear', 'relation': 'will go', 'condition': 'if the USA leaves Israel alone'}, {'e1': ' this ', 'e2': 'months maybe even years', 'relation': 'will stall out for ', 'condition': 'unless every single gulf state threaten to either expel US bases or dump the petrodollar'}]"
205,P0206,1rxds1k,"In the United States, 'patriotism' is often coded as a conservative value. Patriotism is the love for one's country *and* its people, combined with the desire to honor its values. Nationalism is a feeling of superiority that places one's country and its symbols above all else, while dismissing valid critiques against it. I believe that, broadly speaking, progressives embody patriotism more, while conservatives embody nationalism.
  
  However flawed and contradicting the founders were, they espoused the ideals of freedom, equality, and opportunity. When progressives fight for civil rights, voting expansion, and equitable labor laws, they are actively improving the country because they care about the people in it. Patriotism is inseparable from solidarity, and that means supporting people, even if it threatens the status quo.
  
  On the contrary, many conservatives seek to glorify the United States. President Reagan's famous appropriated ""Shining City Upon a Hill"" speech exemplified this notion of superiority. Nationalism divides people, leading to the mistreatment of undocumented immigrants simply because they were not born here. It has led to many unjustified foreign conflicts and countless innocent lives lost on the basis that the United States *deserves* to police the rest of the world.
  
  True love for one's country means holding it to account for the values upon which it was founded. Thomas Jefferson described the Constitution as a living, evolving document, because he understood that archaic laws and traditions of the past should not dictate the progress and moral enlightenment of future generations. Today, in the face of an increasing authoritarian conservative movement, it's the progressives that are fighting to uphold American values.","[{'e1': "" 'patriotism' "", 'e2': 'a conservative value', 'relation': 'is often coded as ', 'condition': 'In the United States'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the country', 'relation': 'are actively improving ', 'condition': 'When progressives fight for civil rights, voting expansion, and equitable labor laws'}, {'e1': 'progresssives', 'e2': 'the country', 'relation': 'are actively improving ', 'condition': ' because they care about the people in it'}, {'e1': 'Thomas Jefferson ', 'e2': 'the Constitution as a living, evolving document', 'relation': 'described ', 'condition': 'because he understood that archaic laws and traditions of the past should not dictate the progress and moral enlightenment of future generations'}, {'e1': ' the progressives ', 'e2': 'American values', 'relation': 'are fighting to uphold ', 'condition': 'in the face of an increasing authoritarian conservative movement'}]"
206,P0207,1rxg8nx,"CMV: ""back against the wall"" is not so bad
  
  In american english, ""back against the wall"" is a figure of speech expressing a difficult situation with limited options 
  
  In reality, Back Against The Wall is a strong position, when faced with multiple attackers. It disallows rear flanking, and forces opponents to attack from the front, where they can be countered 
  
  This helps minimize numerical advantage, and also minimizes defender mental burden, as they no longer need to worry about rear flanking
  
  
  Back Against The Wall was my position of choice when i was attacked by more than one dog. Although the position is poor against an overwhelming pressure opponent, the position is strong against harasser/attrition opponents like dogs or pack predators","[{'e1': 'Back Against The Wall ', 'e2': 'a strong position', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'when faced with multiple attackers'}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'rear flanking', 'relation': 'disallows ', 'condition': 'in reality'}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'opponents to attack from the front', 'relation': ' forces ', 'condition': 'in reality'}, {'e1': 'Back Against The Wall ', 'e2': 'my position of choice ', 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': 'when i was attacked by more than one dog'}]"
207,P0208,1rxhjqx,"Because people are out of control and have lost control of their ability to make intelligent or empathetic decisions, and often go no contact with family members for idiotic reasons (I'm not talking about severe physical emotional or psychological abuse, or extremist and dangerous views like being a Neo-Nazi or a terrorist), often because of personal moral values, it should be legally restricted to cut off family members and people should be socially pressured by society not to do it.
  
  Yes it goes against US law, but people are too individualistic and completely out of control and don't know how to tolerate different moral viewpoints or control their own emotions. Maybe when people learn how to behave normally (the same way people operate in collectivist, highly Christian societies like Indigenous communities in Bolivia or parts of Ghana and Sierra Leone), and not like individualistic units who think they can choose everything, then this won't have to happen.","[{'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'cut off family members ', 'relation': 'should be legally restricted to ', 'condition': 'Because people are out of control and have lost control of their ability to make intelligent or empathetic decisions'}]"
208,P0209,1rxlpqe,"Around 40 different countries use this method to (in theory), assess the risk of lending money to someone. This is calculated using a combination of factors, including payment history, utilization, length of credit history, variety of credit, and credit recency. 
  
  I would attest that over half of that isn't genuinely measuring someone's financial reliability nearly as much as it's encouraging people to have and continue acquiring lending products (predominantly from a very small handful of global providers that indirectly profit from you having it).
  
  Since it's so deeply ingrained into our system, you would struggle to have shelter, reliable transportation, or a business of any kind without embracing it, whether or not you want to.
  
  At it's core, it's measuring how frequently you go into and get out of debt. What does that have to do with financial reliability when the alternative is not being in debt at any point?
  
  If having recurring debt that is not paid off is the worst case scenario when critiquing financial reliability, why would having no debt not be the ideal?
  
  It's not as if you'd be unable to provide a record of your financial history without it, and I see very little reason to believe a person would be less worthy of a high score because they have not *recently* taken on a new lending product.
  
  On a psychological level, its producing a pattern of behavior where you become comfortable using credit frequently, which isn't even the behavior you'd want for the products you're likely seeking a high score for to begin with.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' shelter, reliable transportation, or a business of any kind without embracing it', 'relation': 'would struggle to have', 'condition': ""Since it's so deeply ingrained into our system""}, {'e1': ' a person', 'e2': ' a high score ', 'relation': ' would be less worthy of', 'condition': 'because they have not *recently* taken on a new lending product.'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'credit frequently', 'relation': 'become comfortable using ', 'condition': 'On a psychological level'}]"
209,P0210,1rxro8j,"If you’re in the U.S. gas prices literally do not matter. From personal experience, no economic event increased my (GEN Z) prices more than 25%, which is about 2-3 fast food meals.. It’s embarrassing IMO if ur complaining about gas. NO SHIT Hormuz being blocked will increase prices. 15-30% increase sucks but it’s nothing to complain about especially if u are in a western nation. FFS, is another 50USD a month making it or breaking it for u? If that’s the case, you’ve got bigger problems than gas prices, that’s not what matters for u, being broke does.
  
  ETA: NVM guys what I argued was dumb. Gas prices matter to many within the states and those outside. It matters to those people who are now unable to access things because of barrel price. I still don’t believe it matters to those who can afford these changes and I see these people complain about it, the “what am I gonna do not get gas?” people get it. The “fuck I can’t afford this” have valid complaints.","[{'e1': ' gas prices ', 'e2': 'matter', 'relation': 'literally do not ', 'condition': 'If you’re in the U.S.'}]"
210,P0211,1rxvdau,"As a neutral observer in the current Middle East war, Iran has definitely shown strong capability to withstand US attacks and assassinations of their leadership. However, given the huge gap between military strengths, sooner or later, Iran should capitulate. 
  
  What will be the second order effects post war?
  
  US military bases in the Middle East have suffered damage and it's unlikely that their capabilities would return to pre-war levels. Not because America cannot invest, of course they can but because of hesitation and lack of willingness from the Gulf states. US will be there but not to the pre-war levels.
  
  Bigger consequence would be on the petrodollar trade. Lot of American hegemony comes from their dollar dominance, which depends a lot on the trading currency of oil and gas. Highly likely, that major countries will do bilateral trades across the world in different currencies to diversify their supply chains. I admit that this seems a moonshot even right now but fundamentally, no major country wants to depend only on US dollars right now. So, something would give up even though it's hard to imagine right now.
  
  Even before this war, European relationship with the US has been strained, at least conceptually. As Europe continues to invest in their self-dependence, it would gradually reduce military and economic dependency on the US. Asia will continue to grow through China, India and even the Gulf countries who would push hard to gain their lost ground.
  
  Regardless of the military outcomes of this war, it's unlikely the world will return to where it was few weeks back in terms of global political order. This would have repercussions on businesses and job opportunities for common people. Areas of investment, new trading partners, supply chain resilience will drive new opportunities and challenges that will shape the world for years to come.","[{'e1': 'US military bases in the Middle East capabilities ', 'e2': 'pre-war levels', 'relation': 'might not return to ', 'condition': 'because of hesitation and lack of willingness from the Gulf states'}]"
211,P0212,1rxyj0k,"Thats it. Thats the problem. I remember watching the film and thinking ""Wow this main character is a fuckin genius. I want to be just like him, expect for cheating with my spouse, or eating someones pet fish""
  
  I still understood that the film was apparently trying to paint the main character in a bad image. Also every other commentary/reference I've seen about the film has also been highly negative about the main character. 
  
  Is there something wrong with me??? Why did I see this movie and thought how awesome the life could be.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'wanted to be just like ', 'condition': 'expect for cheating with my spouse, or eating someones pet fish'}]"
212,P0213,1ry1cog,"I do think circumstances play a role as well but I’d say majority comes down to circumstances. A lot of people follow this path, they live life as kids then around 16 is where the issues start. 
  
  All of a sudden they have to be focus on becoming an adult in a couple years but most are not even close to ready for this. So they end up going to college and taking on loads of debt many times for a degree that won’t provide good employment. Unless their parents force them into somthing smart which is often looked down on for the “just do what you love” advice. So now these adults are starting in a negative, then they go on buy things they don’t need like cars, credit cards, going out etc and it all adds up. Don’t get me started on those that move away and pay thousands just to live on campus instead of going to community college. 
  
  Alternatively, many who don’t go to college go to a shitty entry level job with little room for growth so they’ve crippled themselves from day one unless they can start a profitable business, establish themselves in trades or invest wisely and save.
  
  But following that terrible debt collecting experience they go on to be poor financially, look around at the average car payment, phone bills, consumer spending and it’s all madness. 
  
  Alternatively, many who don’t go to college go to a shitty entry level job with little room for growth so they’ve crippled themselves from day one unless they can start a profitable business, establish themselves in trades or invest wisely and save.
  
  These are all just poor choices that make finances harder when you’re older. For many if they could go back to 18 and go to community college with a smart career choice life would look completely different. But the truth is the average person just isn’t good with money and makes bad financial choices. 
  
  I’ve even seen it in my family and with friends, those who made bad choices and compiled them are complaining about how hard it is while those who made good choices are buying homes, doing well and have achieved the middle class life their parents had","[{'e1': 'they', 'e2': 'college and taking on loads of debt', 'relation': 'end up going to', 'condition': 'unless their parents force them into something smart'}, {'e1': 'many who don’t go to college', 'e2': 'themselves from day one', 'relation': 'have crippled', 'condition': 'unless they can start a profitable business, establish themselves in trades, or invest wisely and save'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'poor financially', 'relation': 'go on to be ', 'condition': ' following that terrible debt collecting experience'}, {'e1': 'many who don’t go to college ', 'e2': 'a shitty entry level job with little room for growth ', 'relation': 'go to ', 'condition': 'unless they can start a profitable business, establish themselves in trades or invest wisely and save.'}, {'e1': ' life ', 'e2': 'completely different', 'relation': 'would look ', 'condition': 'if they could go back to 18 and go to community college with a smart career choice'}, {'e1': 'These ', 'e2': 'poor choices that make finances harder ', 'relation': 'are all just ', 'condition': 'when you’re older.'}]"
213,P0214,1ry1gsq,"Frequently, I come across people suggesting that Lincoln would support the MAGA movement, largely by pointing out that he was the first Republican president. I believe this is effectively a lie, for several main reasons:
  
  1. Lincoln was a liberal: a liberal is someone who focuses on individual liberty and equality. If getting close to completely abolishing slavery isn't considered liberal, I don't know what is.
  2. The two parties realigned several times: while the Republicans were liberal in the 1860s and 1870s, they are now undoubtedly the conservative party. This happened with the New Deal progressives and the post-Civil Rights Movement changes.
  3. Lincoln was in fact directly opposed to many of the major policies of the modern MAGA Republican:
  * Lincoln was religious, but he never joined a specific church. He also supported religious freedom in government positions.
  * Lincoln was very pro-immigration. He was firmly against the Know-Nothings, who were founded on nativism.
  * Lincoln was a believer in the rags-to-riches idea that if you work hard, your labor should be able to get you somewhere. MAGA has consistently gone against this with their opposition to legitimate labor protections (like higher minimum wage).
  
  The ways I think you could potentially change my view:
  
  1. You convince me that Lincoln was in fact a conservative, even for his time period
  2. You convince me that Lincoln would prefer Republicans over Democrats even now
  3. You convince me that it is still legitimate for Republicans to use Lincoln as an example of their achievements even though he was a liberal
  4. Anything else I didn't think of
  
  EDIT: I'm going to clarify that this is all based on the assumption that he would have been familiarized with the last 150 years of American history. Basically, I believe that he was a man who could and would move farther left with time, and that he would have ended up as a Democrat by now, especially after the Civil Rights Movement, but possible earlier.","[{'e1': ' your labor ', 'e2': 'you somewhere', 'relation': 'should be able to get ', 'condition': 'if you work hard'}]"
214,P0215,1ry5u25,"I see a lot of debate at the moment about immigration needing to be curbed or controlled more tightly, and I don’t really understand the concern. I feel like I might be in a bit of a bubble, so I’d genuinely like to hear perspectives I’m missing.
  
  For context, I’m middle class and have a master’s degree. During my undergraduate degree I spent time in Europe through Erasmus, which was a brilliant experience. At university I met a lot of international students, many of whom are still close friends.
  
  A number of those friends have since struggled to stay in the UK, even though they would have liked to. In several cases, they work in research but don’t meet salary thresholds, so they’ve ended up working at universities abroad instead. Others have gone to fairly extreme lengths like entering civil partnerships just to remain. These are people who work, pay rent, and contribute to society, so it feels strange to me that the system seems to push them out.
  
  I realise that the people I’m thinking of first (like friends in academia) might not be the group most people have in mind when they talk about immigration. But I’m also not sure I understand the concern when it comes to other types of work.
  
  For example, my grandmother spent time in residential care before she died, and many of the staff there were from abroad. Those roles are demanding and essential, and I’m not sure whether there would be enough people to fill them otherwise. Similarly, when I renovated my home, I hired Polish builders who were more affordable than some alternatives and did excellent work.
  
  More broadly, I like living in a country with a mix of cultures, food, and perspectives. It feels like a positive thing that the UK is relatively open and diverse. In my own life, I can’t think of a situation where immigration has negatively affected me. If anything, most interactions I’ve had with immigrants have been beneficial.
  
  So I’m wondering:
  
  Am I missing important downsides to immigration that aren’t obvious from my experience?
  
  What are the strongest evidence-based arguments that immigration at current levels is harmful?
  
  Who is most negatively affected, and in what ways?
  
  If immigration were reduced significantly, how would that improve outcomes for people like me?
  
  I’m very open to having my view changed here - I just want to better understand what seems to be a widely held concern.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' Europe ', 'relation': 'spent time in', 'condition': 'During my undergraduate degree'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' Europe ', 'relation': 'spent time in', 'condition': 'through Erasmus'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a lot of international students', 'relation': 'met ', 'condition': 'At university '}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': ' research ', 'relation': 'work in', 'condition': 'In several cases'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'salary thresholds', 'relation': ' don’t meet ', 'condition': 'In several cases'}, {'e1': 'my grandmother ', 'e2': 'residential care ', 'relation': 'spent time in ', 'condition': 'before she died'}, {'e1': ' immigration ', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'has never negatively affected ', 'condition': ' In my own life'}, {'e1': 'most interactions I’ve had ', 'e2': 'beneficial.', 'relation': 'with immigrants have been ', 'condition': ' In my own life'}]"
215,P0216,1ry9joq,"I see so much demonization of landlords on Reddit and people who think if we just ended renting out property that all of our housing cost issues would be magically fixed.
  
  That anger is misguided. I think people don’t direct their anger at the real villain because they are either harder to demonize or they fall in the problem group. The real villain is homeowners, specifically nimby home owners. Those who protest real estate developers and development because they don’t want to “ruin the character of the neighborhood”.
  
  I understand the nimby homeowners perspective. You buy a home in an area because you like the area as it currently is. Changes to that may change whether you would have bought it in the first place. Although, I do think “affecting the character of the neighborhood” is often a dog whistle for racist and classist sentiment.
  
  But the academic literature on this issue is very very clear.
  
  I see institutional investors/landlords constantly demonized on Reddit. They \*do\* negatively affect housing prices. I’m not opposed to banning them. But the effects they have on prices is minimal to the real factors at play.
  
  “A 1 percentage point increase in institutional ownership increases house prices by about 1.05%.”
  
  —Gorback, Qian, Zhu (2025) — institutional ownership impact
  
  “A 10% increase… purchased by investors… leads to a 0.20% increase in house prices.”
  
  \- Allen et al. Impact of Investors in Distressed Housing Markets
  
  “Entry explains 20% of the observed price increase”
  
  \- Coven The Impact of Institutional Investors on Homeownership and Neighborhood Acc
  
  Institutional investors own around 1% of residential real estate in the U.S. Sure, it can be much higher in other markets but even in the most generous estimates they are a drop in the bucket compared to other causes.
  
  Now let’s look at zoning that is driven by NIMBY homeowners who vote:
  
  “The ‘zoning tax’… was about 34 percent of the house value for Los Angeles and 19 percent for Boston… 50 percent in Manhattan.”
  
  \- Glaeser, Gyourko, Saks (2005) Why Is Manhattan So Expensive? Regulation and the Rise in House Price
  
  “The estimated mean regulatory tax is 48% of housing prices.”
  
  \- Ben-Moshe & Genesove Regulation and Frontier Housing Supply
  
  “Housing prices in the most highly regulated cities are about 50 percent higher than those in the least regulated cities.”
  
  \- Eicher: Housing Prices and Land Use Regulations: A Study of 250 Major US Cities
  
  Compare the study that institutional investors cause only 20% of housing price \*increases\* whereas zoning can make up 50% of \*entire housing price\*. We are talking orders of magnitudes difference here.
  
  If the solution is so obvious why don’t politicians fix it? Because the current people who own homes and live in each local market \*don’t want it to change\*.
  
  I see a lot of well meaning people who want to fix the housing crisis and our homelessness issue (homelessness is directly tied to housing costs but that’s a separate cmv). If you truly care about the housing crisis, please direct your anger and your votes at the real issues and culprits.
  
  If we want to make a dent at housing prices, let’s make sure we put just as much effort in zoning reform as we do at ending institutional real estate investing, if not much more effort.
  
  TL;DR: The housing crisis is caused by NIMBYs and Housing regulations not landlords backed up by 99% of the academic literature on the subject.
  
  (Also happy to link many more articles if someone is still not convinced. I’m doubtful anyone will even read this length).
  
  Edit: getting the rebuttal that the landlords are NIMBYs. That is true, landlords are NIMBYs but they are not the majority of NIMBYs. Landlords are a small minority of the population yet NIMBYs make up the majority of a local voting population. If landlords were the only NIMBYs, then how come they have not been outvoted by people who support zoning reform? And anyone who has ever attended a public real estate development hearing would quickly see the majority of people speaking out against real estate development are not landlords.","[{'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'a home in an area ', 'relation': 'buy ', 'condition': 'because you like the area as it currently is'}, {'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'ending institutional real estate investing', 'relation': ' put just as much effort in zoning reform as we do at ', 'condition': 'If we want to make a dent at housing prices'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'many more articles ', 'relation': 'would be happy to link ', 'condition': 'if someone is still not convinced'}]"
216,P0217,1ry9kay,"It is incorrect to call things from Canada, Mexico, Brazil, etc. ""American"". Yes, they're part of the Americas. That doesn't make them American. There are words for that; North American and Pan American. It doesn't follow standard English conventions, but that's how English is. Shellfish and jellyfish aren't ""fish"" either.
  
  Suppose we did call everything from the Americas ""American"". We'd need another adjective that describes something as being of the US specifically. We'd also have to accept that the Irish are ""British"" since Ireland is part of the British Isles.
  
  Edit: I accept that ""American"" can technically be used to describe things from the Americas outside the US. I continue to assert that it's confusing and distasteful to do so.","[{'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'another adjective that describes something as being of the US specifically', 'relation': 'would need', 'condition': 'suppose we called everything from the Americas “American”'}, {'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'that the Irish are “British”', 'relation': 'would have to accept', 'condition': 'suppose we called everything from the Americas “American”'}]"
217,P0218,1rydg35,"There is a lot of commentary in the West about asylum and refugees. Countries are tightening rules, reducing numbers. Almost unnoticed, the Trump administration lowered the refugee cap to 7500 for fiscal year 2026.
  
  We don't have to do this. Changing immigration and refugee policy wildly from administration to administration. Slash all funding for the program. Terminate all contracts. The amount of refugees we admit will be directly correlated to how many of them are willing to be housed by the citizens of the country.
  
  Ukrainians are being invaded and fighting for their lives? Open your home to them. Take on the responsibility of feeding them, clothing them and housing them. Judging by the amount of Ukrainian flag handles, we will have enough volunteers to house the entire population of Ukraine. You think Haitians have a raw deal and we should do everything to do to help? Take one in your house.
  
  This would prevent the grift by NGOs and humanitarian organizations who have incentive to basically traffic humans to receive more government contracts. The money being used to give refugees benefits can go towards more robust services for Americans. And our refugee policy would perfectly reflect the sentiment of the country. We would see in real time, in real numbers what people actually want in regards to the refugee policy.","[{'e1': 'The amount of refugees we admit ', 'e2': 'how many of them are willing to be housed', 'relation': 'will be directly correlated to ', 'condition': ' by the citizens of the country.'}]"
218,P0219,1rygqz6,"If there isn't ""justice for all"" then you should not have justice - because if you wrong someone to get their justice and then they seek justice later for what you've done, we actually created a non ending feedback loop
  
  Our current justice system leads to lies and fairytales being purported as truth. Leaving justice for some not all because the system honors the lies based off the precedence of ones character. Which all good poeple have faltered with bad character. Character is a poor way to judge a person when character is a persons past, not their present or future. People with character lie sometimes, meaning we are left with some who get justice while others do not.
  
  This is creating the endless crime feedback loop. The solution currently employed? Double down terrorizing and disenfranchising those who seek justice after someone receieve justice and they are considered ""deserving"" while those who lost in the jsutice system are penalized so hard without a way to come up and materialize beyond this.
  
  Yes, this is childish what I suggest. To treat others right to restore justice, order, peace so others have the ability to get back up. When justice to some means never having to fear a person will ever have the rights to do that thing again.
  
  Yet we don't kill or be killed. We don't execute every killer. Not in an organized justice system. But because we penalize so hard there isn't justice for everyone so no one really deserves true justice when everyone is playing the criminal and victim.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'justice', 'relation': 'should not have ', 'condition': 'If there isn\'t ""justice for all"" '}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'a non ending feedback loop', 'relation': 'created ', 'condition': ""if you wrong someone to get their justice and then they seek justice later for what you've done""}, {'e1': 'no one', 'e2': 'true justice ', 'relation': ' really deserves ', 'condition': 'when everyone is playing the criminal and victim.'}]"
219,P0220,1ryh0i6,"I claim that there are possible language models that would think. I'm not claiming that such things already exist, just that in principle humans could create such things.
  
  I argue as follows:
  
  * (P1) There are possible human-accurate thinking oracle algorithms.
  * (P2) If there are any possible human-accurate thinking oracle algorithms, then there are thinking LMs.
  * So, (C1) there are possible thinking LMs.
  
  **Defense of P1**
  
  I don’t have a nice argument for (P1). But here are three reasons that contribute to my belief in (P1).
  
  First, I’ve talked to my friends and read articles about this topic, but I’ve never heard anything that I found to be a compelling reason to think that there are no possible thinking algorithms.
  
  Second, there are several things that seem to at least be thinking algorithm adjacent. For example, I see that self-driving cars and Stockfish have respectively reached and surpassed human proficiency. I’m not sure that they are thinking, but I suspect that many of the approaches that do well at driving and chess are at least thinking adjacent.
  
  Third, I think that a computer simulation of a human’s nervous system would be able to give correct answers to questions about math, history, etc. (just like the original human could). This minimally suggests that the program is a simulation of thinking. But probably, simulations of thinking just are thinking.
  
  **Defense of P2**
  
  Let T be a human-accurate thinking oracle algorithm. By this I mean that:
  
  1. T’s inputs are exactly all English questions and T’s outputs are English sentences. (an oracle)
  2. T's outputs are about as accurate as the median human's answers. (human-accurate)
  3. For any input, x, when T is performing its computation on x it thinks about x and produces an output that it believes is a correct answer. (thinking)
  
  An LM is an algorithm that takes sequences as inputs and outputs numbers between 0 and 1. These numbers must sum to 1. So, the algorithm implements a probability distribution for its inputs.
  
  Then there is a possible thinking LM that works in the following way. For each input to the system, x, it gives the following question to T “What is the probability that a random sequence from the Harry Potter novel’s will be x?” and then just outputs T’s answer.
  
  **Motivation**
  
  I think this argument and claim are important because I sometimes see the following argumentative pattern:
  
  (P1) If X can do Y, then X thinks.
  
  (P2) No possible LMs think.
  
  (C1) So, no possible LMs can do Y.
  
  (Where Y might be: understand natural language, replace all human labor, kill all humans, etc.)","[{'e1': 'T', 'e2': 'x', 'relation': 'thinks about', 'condition': 'when T is performing its computation on x'}, {'e1': 'T', 'e2': 'an output that it believes is a correct answer', 'relation': 'produces', 'condition': 'when T is performing its computation on x'}, {'e1': 'the possible thinking LM', 'e2': 'the question to T', 'relation': 'gives', 'condition': 'for each input to the system, x'}, {'e1': 'the possible thinking LM', 'e2': 'T’s answer', 'relation': 'outputs', 'condition': 'for each input to the system, x'}]"
220,P0221,1ryizt7,"For starters, you can’t even type the word suicide without getting all sorts of almost automatic notifications about suicide prevention. Noble idea, right? Prevent suicide, and prevent people from searching methods, and instead direct them to the help they need. Disclaimer, I support suicide prevention in principle, please focus on the “at times” part. 
  
  Now for the “at times”. Certain mental health conditions are intolerable. Some people’s entire existence is just a never ending battle against their own mind. Some people live in eternal torment. Eternal suffering. Ask yourselves, when you prevent a suicide in someone with a truly untreatable and intolerable mental illness, are you doing it for them, or are you doing it for the people in their lives? When someone has to be institutionalized just to prevent them from committing suicide, is that really for their sake? Or is it for the sake of the people who can’t bear to see them die? 
  
  This is the heart of where I believe it gets immoral. When you save the life of someone who has an untreatable and intolerable mental illness, they may improve slightly, they make stop being acutely suicidal, but it never truly goes away, their life continues to be miserable, and they often relapse and fall into the loop all over again. Why don’t we afford people the freedom to end their own suffering? “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” except you don’t know that it’s temporary, for some people it’s a lifelong battle. For some people, every day after you “save” them is just more of the same misery. In this situation, it’s clearly not for their sake. It’s for the sake of the people who don’t want to see them die. And I think that’s deeply immoral. Someone whose entire existence is suffering just for the sake of other people. That’s awful and we as a society should stop forcing it.","[{'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'improve slightly', 'relation': 'may ', 'condition': 'When you save the life of someone who has an untreatable and intolerable mental illness'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'acutely suicidal', 'relation': 'may stop being ', 'condition': 'When you save the life of someone who has an untreatable and intolerable mental illness'}, {'e1': 'every day after you “save” them', 'e2': 'more of the same misery', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'for some people'}, {'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'their sake', 'relation': 'is not for', 'condition': 'in this situation'}, {'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'the sake of the people who don’t want to see them die', 'relation': 'is for', 'condition': 'in this situation'}]"
221,P0222,1rykcav,"As a straight Christian guy, I have barely found any times to be attracted to breasts. When I was younger there were a few times, mainly from animations, but as far as the real deal I can't think of almost any time I found them attractive. 
  
  
  Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them or anything, and sometimes it can be helpful in figuring out if someone with long fair and a neutral face is a woman or not. But as far as attraction, I see zero reason.
  
  
  Like literally the only biological purpose of them is to feed a newborn for the first few months-year of life because they can't have solid food. And thats obviously mostly when they have a child of their own.
  
  
  But thats it. Thats literally the only purpose to them and plus it tells you absolutely nothing about their character so whats the point in seeing that attractive? 
  
  
  I will admit, I have glanced at a few rears in my life but I always shift my eyes towards the back of their heads or somewhere different entirely. Because even attraction to butts, there is no reason for it.
  
  
  Even looking at the logic hemisphere and the emotional hemisphere, both don't have a reason for finding that attractive. And yes I heard the thing about bigger boobs show fertility or something like that, but as long as a woman has a pair at all, it can give a newborn nutrients. And even if its a malnourished situation, it may be way more difficult, but at that point I would be questioning why you are raising a baby when you yourself are malnourished. 
  
  
  But like they do nothing for a guy in the relationship, they don't tell anything about a woman's character, and the only difference between a guy's chest and a woman's is that she can feed her baby, which shouldn't be sexualized considering its for survival. I don't agree that its a sex organ, because how is it a sexual organ when its whole function is for a newborn infant to survive?","[{'e1': 'breasts', 'e2': 'whether someone is a woman or not', 'relation': 'can be helpful in figuring out', 'condition': 'if someone has long hair and a neutral face'}, {'e1': 'breasts', 'e2': 'a newborn nutrients', 'relation': 'can give', 'condition': 'as long as a woman has a pair at all'}, {'e1': 'feeding a newborn', 'e2': 'more difficult', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'if it is a malnourished situation'}]"
222,P0223,1ryv7zk,"I would like my view changed about this perception of Christianity.
  
  
  My View in Principle:
  
  So basically my view is that Christianity operates a hierarchy like such: God ≥ Man ≥ Woman. God is the ultimate posessor of power, wisdom and authority and accordingly has the greatest value and importance. Then comes Man, largely lesser and subordinate to God but in certain aspects and situations he has a measure of equality to Man and transitively to God. Last comes Woman, lesser and subordinate to Man and God but still has a measure of equality to God in a smaller set of aspects and situations. A summary would be Man is made in God's image and Woman is made in Man's image so the divine image remains but gets lesser with each derivative.
  
  Why I have this view:
  
  1. There are three persons of God, as spirit beings without biological dimorphism yet all 3 are identified as men. At times they have feminine qualities associated with them or are described in feminine roles but they are not to my knowledge deemed equally women. God the Mother and Jesus the Daughter would be largely unrecognisable to an ordinary Christian. When one of the persons of God assumed human form, he chose to become a man not a woman which is a preference.
  
  2. Jesus had 12 close disciples none of them women. Jesus had many disciples, male and female but when he chose those who would be with him and who he would reveal the most, he only chose men. Again men preferred. 
  
  3. Angels to my knowledge are either depicted as ungendered or as men. Only the sons of God are mentioned in Genesis. The leaders of rebellious spirits are primarily Princes or either masculine coded, the notable exception that comes to mind being in Revelation with the whore of Babylon.
  
  4. Women are explicitly cursed to be subordinate to men in Genesis. In Genesis, man shares in some of God's power and authority by naming animals and also woman. Women can name their children, sharing a limited portion of the delegated authority of Man. Woman is made as a helper to Man and only the Man has a voice in the first marriage (Man accepts Woman. Woman is passive)
  
  5. In the law provided to God's nation, Man is more esteemed and endowed with rights. He is the one offended by the theft of his property which includes his wife. Man can create a charge against his wife for not being a virgin or for adultery but I cannot find a corresponding right to the wife against her husband. Woman are deemed the property or at best wards of their father's and husbands; men become independent by default. Female children cost less to redeem and require more days of purification for a mother after birth. Women can receive an inheritance in the promised land but it must be fought for not taken as default. 
  
  6. Women are designed by God to be weaker and smaller than men, and to have regular processes of menstruation that make them by nature more often ritually unclean. Men have the advantage in physical activity giving them utility and esteem in society, craftsmanship, farming, warfare. In intellectual activity Man is just about as equal to Woman and only Men as inventors are recorded (Tubal-Cain, Cain) to ky knowledge. In spiritual practice, I can recall only one notable Prophetess but many more Prophets so woman are useful but once again outcompeted. In procreation, both Man and Woman are essential but gestation and breastfeeding are Woman's singular proficiency, a feat that makes them valuable. In short just about anything a woman can do a man do same or better and what is indispensable requires male contribution, ergo Valuable but less so.
  
  Change My View:
  
  Please feel free to point out any fallacies, bias and erroneous assumptions/premises and give me your best arguments against the view expressed.","[{'e1': ' he ', 'e2': 'a man not a woman which is a preference', 'relation': 'chose to become ', 'condition': 'When one of the persons of God assumed human form'}, {'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'men', 'relation': 'only chose ', 'condition': 'when he chose those who would be with him and who he would reveal the most'}, {'e1': 'Women ', 'e2': 'subordinate to men ', 'relation': 'are explicitly cursed to be ', 'condition': 'in Genesis'}, {'e1': ' man', 'e2': ""some of God's power and authority "", 'relation': ' shares in ', 'condition': 'In Genesis'}, {'e1': ' man', 'e2': ""some of God's power and authority "", 'relation': ' shares in ', 'condition': 'by naming animals and also woman'}, {'e1': 'only the Man ', 'e2': 'a voice ', 'relation': 'has ', 'condition': 'in the first marriage'}, {'e1': ' Man ', 'e2': 'rights', 'relation': 'is more esteemed and endowed with ', 'condition': ""In the law provided to God's nation""}, {'e1': 'Women ', 'e2': 'an inheritance', 'relation': 'can receive ', 'condition': ' in the promised land '}, {'e1': ' a mother ', 'e2': 'more days of purification', 'relation': 'requires ', 'condition': 'after birth'}, {'e1': 'women', 'e2': 'ritually unclean', 'relation': 'are more often', 'condition': 'by nature'}, {'e1': 'men', 'e2': 'women', 'relation': 'are just about as equal to', 'condition': 'in intellectual activity'}, {'e1': 'both man and woman', 'e2': 'essential', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'in procreation'}, {'e1': 'gestation and breastfeeding', 'e2': ""woman's singular proficiency"", 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'in procreation'}]"
223,P0224,1rz4k7i,"When I go to sleep, I'm wearing jeans, and when I wake up I put on a new pair of jeans. Whether it's -10 or 90 degrees out, I'm wearing jeans. Maybe I'm out hiking, running, biking, skiing, or whatever, it's all happening in a pair of jeans.
  
  Granted, there are exceptions. For instance when I go swimming or showering, I need a bathing suit or my birthday suit, respectively. If I'm skiing, I put snow pants over the jeans (a half-exception.) There are a few other exceptions out there probably (I can't think of them off the top of my head though.)
  
  Regardless, it's my view that jeans are applicable in effectively any temperature and activity. I know I'm in the minority with that view though, so try to change it, also happy fresh topic friday!","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'jeans', 'relation': 'am wearing ', 'condition': 'When I go to sleep'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a new pair of jeans', 'relation': ' put on ', 'condition': ' when I wake up '}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'jeans', 'relation': 'am wearing ', 'condition': ""Whether it's -10 or 90 degrees out""}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' a bathing suit ', 'relation': 'need', 'condition': 'when I go swimming '}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' a birthday suit', 'relation': 'need', 'condition': 'when I go showering'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' snow pants over the jeans', 'relation': 'put', 'condition': "" If I'm skiing""}]"
224,P0225,1rz6klf,"Current incentives on mainstream media is to make the loudest most attention grabbing claims. Making good predictions requires good information and good reasoning so here’s the idea: require anyone who appears as a commentator on news programs to file quarterly predictions on a standard set of measurable outcomes — GDP growth, unemployment, inflation, congressional control, etc. These get filed publicly. When the actual numbers come in from the government, a score is computed automatically. No editorial board, no bias committee. Just: did your predictions match reality?
  
  That score is displayed on screen every time you appear. Like a nutrition label for pundits.
  
  More details on the concept:
  
  Not an economist? No problem. You can just copy the CBO or Fed forecast. You’ll score around a 5 which is a perfectly respectable “I defer to the experts” rating. The only people who score poorly are the ones who repeatedly make bold confident claims that turn out to be wrong.
  
  Say “we’re headed for a depression” on air while your own filed prediction says 3% GDP growth? You’re on the record contradicting yourself. Predict economic doom every single quarter? Your score craters because you were wrong 11 out of 12 times. Always predict your preferred party wins everything? Congrats, you’re now visibly a cheerleader, not an analyst.
  
  Scoring is indexed against all filers, so when something truly unexpected happens that nobody predicted, no one gets unfairly punished. But if you called it when nobody else did, that goes on your record too.
  
  Nobody is told what they can or can’t say. This is a disclosure mandate, the same category as requiring nutrition labels on food or requiring financial advisors to disclose their fund performance. The government’s only role is maintaining the filing system and computing scores against its own published economic data. Reality is the referee and the history is transparent. 
  
  The pundit with a 2/10 doesn’t get censored. They just have to wear that number every time they open their mouth on TV. And audiences finally get the one thing our current media landscape denies them — a simple, factual signal for whether this person has any idea what they’re talking about. 
  
  \\-----
  
  Curious what people think about the feasibility of this idea? I know this sounds like betting markets, the idea is based more on Tetlock’s super forecasting research.","[{'e1': ' a score ', 'e2': 'automatically', 'relation': 'is computed ', 'condition': 'When the actual numbers come in from the government'}, {'e1': 'That score ', 'e2': 'screen ', 'relation': 'is displayed on ', 'condition': 'every time you appear'}, {'e1': ' that ', 'e2': 'record too.', 'relation': 'goes on your ', 'condition': 'if you called it when nobody else did'}, {'e1': 'They ', 'e2': 'number ', 'relation': 'just have to wear that ', 'condition': 'every time they open their mouth on TV'}]"
225,P0226,1rzr4ax,"\*Decided to do it again because last time I went to bed too early\*
  
  What I mean by this is that if you're born and raised on the island of Ireland then you are irish. If you are an immigrant from anywhere in the world and you move to ireland, then you are irish. If you were born and raised on the island but then move away at an age where you remember life in ireland then you are irish.
  
  However if you have an irish parent(s) but have never lived in ireland and only visited for a few months every year, then you are not irish. If you have an irish passport but never set foot in this island then you are not irish.
  
  \\\*The people here that I've seen that claim people that are from different countries as irish just because they have irish heritage are the ones to go and tell black people born and raised here that they are not irish and that they should go back to Africa\\\*
  
  Edit: im not talking about what you call yourselves to other countrymen.","[{'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' irish. ', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': "" if you're born and raised on the island of Ireland""}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' irish. ', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'If you are an immigrant from anywhere in the world and you move to ireland'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' irish. ', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': ' If you were born and raised on the island but then move away at an age where you remember life in ireland'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' irish ', 'relation': 'are not', 'condition': 'if you have an irish parent(s) but have never lived in ireland and only visited for a few months every year'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' irish ', 'relation': 'are not', 'condition': 'If you have an irish passport but never set foot in this island'}]"
226,P0227,1rzxdt8,"So just to be up front, I have never watched the Mormon Wives show. I do watch the Bachelor franchise. When they cast this woman, Taylor Frankie Paul, I had no clue who she was. And while I did see a decent amount of backlash, it seems many other people were excited because of how ""messy"" she was and how great it would be to see something chaotic. 
  
  Now that the video of her going crazy and clearly abusing her boyfriend, people are still finding ways to defend her. The biggest things I've seen is ""he must have driven her to this"". And while I know nothing about that man, and it's very possible he is a total asshole, the fact is, if a man was on video doing the same thing to that woman, no one would care how awful she was before the camera started rolling. The fact is, she punched him, put him in a headlock, and threw a metal chair at him which hit her small child.
  
  Then there is the discourse that ""the victim or his roommate released that specifically to ruin her moment"". Again, I'm not saying that isn't possible. But so what? She did it. If it came out at an inopportune time for her, why does that matter. No one would be blaming the victim for releasing video of their abuse at a ""bad time"" . But because its a woman, people are trying to play it off as SHE being the victim.
  
  But all of this is just proof that it doesn't matter. The fact is, the guy has never convicted of any kind of assault. She has. There is no video of him doing anything to her. I don't even know if there is evidence of anything him having done to her, whereas even the most recent issue is that he had marks on his neck from her chocking him with a necklace. 
  
  But people are trying their best to, despite the evidence presented, make him out to be the villain. It really is a level of victim blaming I haven't seen in a while.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'she was', 'relation': 'had no clue who ', 'condition': 'When they cast this woman, Taylor Frankie Paul'}, {'e1': ' no one ', 'e2': 'how awful she was before the camera started rolling', 'relation': 'would care ', 'condition': 'if a man was on video doing the same thing to that woman'}]"
227,P0228,1s002aj,"Its capabilities are extremely general:
  
  * It plays chess without making illegal moves.
  * It writes computer programs in 10+ programming languages.
  * It summarizes academic papers.
  * It checks mathematical proofs for mistakes.
  * It writes poems.
  
  It’s also smart. It got 9 of 12 problems on the 2025 Putnam exam correct ([https://matharena.ai/putnam/](https://matharena.ai/putnam/)). And it placed in the top 6% at the 2025 ASIS CTF QUALS ([https://x.com/PalisadeAI/status/1976312524518850687](https://x.com/PalisadeAI/status/1976312524518850687)). In both situations it outcompeted many sophisticated humans at solving problems that were likely to not have been in its training set.","[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'chess ', 'relation': 'plays ', 'condition': 'without making illegal moves.'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'solving problems that were likely to not have been in its training set', 'relation': 'outcompeted many sophisticated humans at ', 'condition': ' In both situations'}]"
228,P0229,1s01kmf,"I don't disagree with those who say AI may end humanity. If fact, I think we're collectively operating in denial of this possibility. But I'm pretty sure our denial of our own individual mortality is even more extreme. Armageddon is a scary idea, until you realize that on an individual level, it's the default state of humanity - just slowly happening to everybody instead of all at once. If you aren't old, or you haven't taken care of someone nearing the end, I think it may be hard for you to get this. It was hard for me too until recently. There's just an incredible amount of suffering in store for all us - so much that we have to turn our eyes away, until it's our time. So - if there's another path, sign me up and stop clutching pearls about it. You may think I'm being careless with your future if you're a young person with the potential to have your brief experience here cut short by a robot. You're right - it's not entirely fair if that happens. But I think the upside of facing this fear may be worth it. You could be the first immortal generation. You have a lot of upside as a young person if we push forward rather than being paralyzed by fears of a dystopian future. We're already in the dystopian future. We just hide it away in rest homes and hospice care.
  
  Edit: getting a lot of confused responses. TLDR: Being afraid that AI will harm us is reasonable, but speculative. Whereas, we know that we're all going to die through natural (or other) causes. So if future AI solutions have the ability to prolong life, then we should explore them, since the alternative is guaranteed suffering and annihilation for everyone sooner or later.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'this', 'relation': 'may be hard for you to get ', 'condition': ""If you aren't old, or you haven't taken care of someone nearing the end""}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'me too ', 'relation': 'was hard for ', 'condition': 'until recently'}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'your future', 'relation': ""may think I'm being careless with "", 'condition': "" if you're a young person with the potential to have your brief experience here cut short by a robot""}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'a young person ', 'relation': 'have a lot of upside as ', 'condition': 'if we push forward rather than being paralyzed by fears of a dystopian future'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': 'should explore ', 'condition': 'if future AI solutions have the ability to prolong life'}]"
229,P0230,1s03vn2,"CW: child sexual abuse
  
  So, earlier this week, *The New York Times* published an incredibly detailed investigation into several allegations of sexual abuse against the legendary labor leader Cesar Chavez. This investigation corroborated multiple allegations of sexual misconduct against numerous victims, including teenagers and even his partner in the farmworkers movement, Dolores Huerta. I'm not gonna link to the article or discuss the allegations in detail, because it honestly would make me too angry if I were to do so, not to mention they're absolutely disgusting and depraved, but I did want to establish some context for what I'm about to say.
  
  Obviously, a lot of people have condemned him for this, and his home state of California is already [moving forward with plans to rename Cesar Chavez Day](https://www.kcra.com/article/california-moves-to-rename-cesar-chavez-day-to-farmworkers-day/70794378) as a result. But one of the most common responses I've seen to these allegations (or rather revelations, because the amount of detail and corroboration in the reporting is just too much for me to not believe them) is ""why are we focusing on a man who's been dead for decades and can't defend himself? Why not focus on those in the Epstein files?"" And I absolutely HATE this argument so much.
  
  Like, why can't we do both? Why can't we reevaluate the legacy of a historical figure at a time when previously unknown information is coming out about him at the same time that we hold predators who are currently alive accountable. And I get it, people will say, ""that's the thing, we're not doing both, and the government is letting these predators get away with their actions."" True, but none of this changes anything about Cesar Chavez. How do you think his living victims will react if they see somebody say, ""who cares? Focus on other predators!""? Do you really think they care if there are other predators out there? At a time when they're finally being able to tell their stories after decades of trauma, is this really what they need to hear? It's so beyond tone-deaf that it's insulting. I don't care if he's not alive anymore, his legacy still deserves to be re-evaluated after these new allegations/revelations. You can still appreciate all the work he did for farmworkers while also acknowledging that he was an abusive POS. Nobody's asking you to stop fighting to hold living predators accountable, but we can do that while simultaneously recognizing the abuse that beloved historical figures have perpetrated, because that's part of their legacy too.
  
  TL;DR: deflecting to ""what about Epstein and co.?"" when responding to the Cesar Chavez allegations is tone-deaf because it implies that we can't hold multiple people accountable at once, and it tells his victims that their trauma and the abuse they've suffered is inherently less valid.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'too angry ', 'relation': 'would make me ', 'condition': 'if I were to link to the article or discuss the allegations in detail'}, {'e1': 'his home state of California ', 'e2': 'plans to rename Cesar Chavez Day', 'relation': 'is already moving forward with ', 'condition': ' as a result'}, {'e1': 'victims ', 'e2': 'tell their stories ', 'relation': 'are finally being able to ', 'condition': 'after decades of trauma'}, {'e1': 'deflecting to ""what about Epstein and co.?"" ', 'e2': 'tone-deaf ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'when responding to the Cesar Chavez allegations'}]"
230,P0231,1s03yk0,"*Before I even start, let’s accept the premise that at some point we all hopefully lose our parents. It’s the natural course of life. The only question is what age it occurs at.*
  
  *And, to be clear, I’m discussing children loosing parents in their 20s or 30s, rather than their 50s, 60s, or even 70s. Not children losing a parent before they’ve entered adulthood. And I’m discussing parents passing at* *an* *expected age, not prematurely. So in effect, parents having children at an older age.*
  
  Losing parents younger forces the children to develop their own identity without being saddled by any pressure to follow the instructions of or commit to obligations put on them by their parents. If they want to move cross country they don’t have to a they abandoned anyone, if they want to pursue and non-traditional career path, they don’t need to feel that places a burden on their parents because they are unavailable. It forces the children to form an identity and community on their own rather than through others.
  
  Then, there is the fact that the older parent is able to raise the child at a point when they are more established in their career and finance. That means they can provide better for them both monetarily by being further into their career and intellectually/emotionally because they’ve had more life experiences.
  
  Finally, through the power of compound interest and by delaying any negative career impacts caused by having children, parents increase their ability to save for their own end of life care. Making the parents less of a burden on the children when they enter the final stage of life and hopefully even pass on intergenerational wealth.
  
  Having children younger is only really beneficial for the parents, if they want to see more of the life of their child and/or future generations of offspring.
  
  Outside of nepotism and family business, you rarely hear of the child who was impacted by the relationship they had with their parents as an adult in a way another human relationship couldn’t replace. You frequently hear of the impact losing a parent at a young age had on them.
  
  (Let’s put aside for sake of this conversation any discussion of what comes after life on earth)","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'abandoned by anyone', 'relation': 'don’t have to feel ', 'condition': ' If they want to move cross country'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'a burden on their parents because they are unavailable', 'relation': 'don’t need to feel that places ', 'condition': ' if they want to pursue and non-traditional career path'}, {'e1': 'the older parent ', 'e2': 'the child at a point', 'relation': 'is able to raise ', 'condition': ' when they are more established in their career and finance'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'better for them both monetarily by being further into their career and intellectually/emotionally ', 'relation': 'can provide ', 'condition': 'because they’ve had more life experiences'}, {'e1': ' parents ', 'e2': 'ability to save for their own end of life care', 'relation': 'increase their ', 'condition': ' through the power of compound interest and by delaying any negative career impacts caused by having children'}, {'e1': ' parents ', 'e2': 'a burden on the children', 'relation': 'are less of ', 'condition': ' when they enter the final stage of life'}, {'e1': 'Having children younger', 'e2': 'the parents', 'relation': ' is only really beneficial for ', 'condition': 'if they want to see more of the life of their child and/or future generations of offspring'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'the child who was impacted by the relationship they had with their parents as an adult in a way another human relationship couldn’t replace', 'relation': 'rarely hear of ', 'condition': 'Outside of nepotism and family business'}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'the impact losing a parent had on them', 'relation': 'frequently hear of ', 'condition': 'at a young age'}]"
231,P0232,1s0b11g,"The phrase, after all, clearly implies that the person does ***not*** respect you, since you have to ""earn"" it from them in the first place, when respect is something that should be given to others by default.
  
  In other words, having to ""earn"" such a person's respect would be a waste of your time and energy when you can focus those two resources on people who respect and value you as a person. That's why, whenever I hear someone say ""you have to earn my respect"", it's a hint to avoid associating with that someone ever again.
  
  Now, if anyone could convince me why I should not avoid someone whom I have to make an effort to earn their respect, then I'd be welcome to hear their thoughts.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'their thoughts.', 'relation': 'would be welcome to hear ', 'condition': 'if anyone could convince me why I should not avoid someone whom I have to make an effort to earn their respect'}]"
232,P0233,1s0d78l,"Throughout history there have been a ton of declarations of human rights with a ton of different specifics, from the UN charter to the US constitution. However throughout all of them there is always one little asterisk, these laws apply only to those over the age of majority.
  
  For example the first amendment of the US constitution states that the freedom of speech is a basic human right, however in public school settings (a government institution) that right is stripped much easier and for much less than almost any other government institution.
  
  Or take voting, a basic human right. Everyone can vote, except, of course, for minors.
  
  Or most egregiously of all an exception to the cruel and unusual punishments. Spankings both domestically and in educational settings is still legal on the federal level in the US. You would never see this elsewhere. Imagining the president grabbing and spanking a house speaker is pure comedy.
  
  While all of the examples are from the US this remains a worldwide sentiment. I could most certainly find basic human rights bent, broken, or outright excepted for minors anywhere.
  
  If these things, these essential privileges of humanity as declared by the government are not afforded to children, they are most certainly less than human.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'less than human.', 'relation': 'are most certainly ', 'condition': 'If these things, these essential privileges of humanity as declared by the government are not afforded to children'}]"
233,P0234,1s0mgxh,I find as the title suggests it to be a poor argument and kind of a cop out. Not everyone has the ability to move and the argument kind of ignores that moving is not easy especially to a different country. If it was as easy as that argument made it out to be there would be a even greater amount of migration happening right this very moment. Overall I find it to be a very poor argument that hinges on the premise that people can just easily move to a different place if they don't like where they currently live.,"[{'e1': ' there ', 'e2': 'a even greater amount of migration happening right this very moment', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'If it was as easy as that argument made it out to be'}, {'e1': 'people ', 'e2': ' a different place ', 'relation': 'can just easily move to', 'condition': ""if they don't like where they currently live.""}]"
234,P0235,1s0nz00,"In Poland, receiving a gun is quite easy. First, you sign up to a gun club where you practice and learn the theory and shoot for a month. After that you pass a theoretical and practical exam, go to a doctor, psychologist and that's it. This is of course a bit simplified because there are different types of licenses, but this is the gist of it.
  This part is more complex then in most states in the US - I am aware of that, my argument starts here. 
  
  After receiving this license, you are allowed to own up to 6 guns(this can be expanded to more auite easily) including semi auto rifles (the restrictions for sport shooting are above .50 cal, for collections you can get .50 cal as well, idk the difference between getting these 2 licenses).You can also concealed carry with no other qualifications, you can buy suppresors without further qualifications or use hollow point bullets. This isn't even mentioning black powder guns which in Poland have virtually no restrictions and can be bought without ANY license. Point being so many things that apply to guns are illegal in the US and/or require jumping through hoops, in Poland it's just one license. Guns are bought over the counter in gun stores, sold second hand or online. Buying ammunition is also completely troubleless.
  
  
  We have not had a mass shooting incident in more than a decade as far as I am aware. My thesis is that in Poland you are able to own a gun with very little restrictions and while receiving the initial license is harder, it allows you to do much much more than the license in the US without the need to jump through 30 additional hoops.
  
  
  Clearly, lack of mass shootings means that this legislation works when it comes to protecting citizens, but it also does not limit one's freedom.
  
  Edit:
  When it comes to the freedom part, I change my mind and agree with the commenters. I thought I had some level of understanding of US gun law it turns out it is MUCH MORE lenient than I had understood it to be. While the fact remains that certain things are easier to get in Poland once you have a license, the act of getting the license is (depending on the state) sometimes more trouble than jumping through all the hoops required in the US taken together.
  I do maintain that Poland's gun control is safer, but that is easily proven with statistics and not much of a CMV. Thank you everybody for educating me very quickly lol. Like 15 comments in conjunction convinced me so I gave the delta to the 2-3 more significant ones.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'up to 6 guns', 'relation': 'are allowed to own ', 'condition': 'After receiving this license'}, {'e1': 'things ', 'e2': 'Poland ', 'relation': 'are easier to get in ', 'condition': 'once you have a license'}, {'e1': 'the act of getting the license ', 'e2': 'jumping through all the hoops required in the US taken together', 'relation': 'is sometimes more trouble than ', 'condition': '(depending on the state) '}]"
235,P0236,1s0q697,"Last week, a jury sided with rapper Afroman after seven Ohio sheriff's deputies sued him for making music videos using footage from a baseless raid on his home. The ACLU called the lawsuit a SLAPP suit. The jury agreed. I think the verdict was correct.
  
  But Afroman didn't just make videos about the raid. He also made ""Licc'em Low Lisa,"" a sexually explicit video fabricating claims about one of the officers, and another video claiming he slept with a different officer's wife. Both officers testified about the impact at trial. Phillips wept on the stand. Walters said his community took the claims as fact.
  
  All of it was protected speech. The jury said so. And I agree it should be protected.
  
  My view is this: the fact that speech is legally protected doesn't mean every use of that protection serves us equally well. ""I have the right to say this"" answers the question of what is permitted. It does not answer the question of whose needs are being met and at what cost to the people around us.
  
  The raid footage held officers accountable for their own actions. The fabricated sexual content touched those officers' needs for dignity, family trust, and reputation in ways that had nothing to do with accountability. Both met Afroman's needs. Both were legal. But I think they are meaningfully different, and that the difference matters even though the law treats them the same.
  
  I wrote a longer exploration of this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/empathease/comments/1s0pud9
  
  I'm open to being persuaded that this distinction doesn't matter, or that drawing it undermines the broader protection. Change my view.","[{'e1': 'a jury ', 'e2': 'rapper Afroman ', 'relation': 'sided with ', 'condition': ""after seven Ohio sheriff's deputies sued him for making music videos using footage from a baseless raid on his home""}]"
236,P0237,1s0r6f7,"Just think about it. Childbirth is dangerous and painful. Laying an egg? No big deal. Carrying a baby in your belly for 9 months? Painful, especially towards the end. It would be so much better if we just laid eggs. We could even keep them in incubators instead of sitting on them like they did in olden days.
  
  Are we smarter because of live birth? Parrots are smart, and they lay eggs. Do we live longer? Not necessarily. Tortoises lay eggs and some of them live longer than we do.
  
  I’m not really sure what else to say on this topic except that laying eggs is a far superior approach over live childbirth. Evolution took a wrong turn on that one. Convince me that live births are better. Good luck.","[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'so much better ', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'if we just laid eggs'}]"
237,P0238,1s0t1yz,"Hopefully this isn’t too inflammatory. But it’s become a fun, liberatory cultural moment for women to chant things like “all men are bad/trash/etc.” When pressed they will say things like “if you’re offended by this, then it’s about you” and “real men know this isn’t about them.”
  
  This betrays either an actual misunderstanding or an intentional misunderstanding of the English language. It’s not clever, the word “all” is resoundingly clear. Why use it if you’re going to back away from it immediately and act like it’s some kind of “gotcha” to people who are confused by it? Why not just say exactly what you mean?
  
  As a queer man who is NOT offended by this, I find the back and forth fascinating. Men who aren’t “in the know” are understandably offended as they obviously exist within the subset of “all.” Other men who are a bit more hip to modern culture know better than to say anything.
  
  To change my view, you would need to help me understand the paradoxical meaning of the word “all” in this context. OR that essentialism is not inherently stupid in all contexts, particularly this one.
  
  So for example, I think the following essentialist statement is fundamentally stupid in all variants and can always be dismissed outright:
  
  “All \[\[group of people\]\] are \[\[negative thing\]\]”
  
  Whether the group of people is women, men, Jews, black people, or gingers, the underlying essentialist foundation is illogical.
  
  Edit: Thanks all for the discussion! My view has shifted enough to reward a delta. I know this can feel contentious so I appreciate the direct engagement. If I dropped “casual sexism” at some point as someone said, I apologize.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'you', 'relation': 'is about ', 'condition': 'if you’re offended by this'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'the back and forth fascinating', 'relation': 'find ', 'condition': 'As a queer man who is NOT offended by this'}]"
238,P0239,1s0vtpf,"This is a long post. TL;DR at the end.
  
  # Origins of Robots and AI
  
  The word robot was coined by Karel Čapek in his play ""R.U.R."" (Rossumovi Univerzální Roboti - Rossum's Universal Robots). It comes from a Czech word ""robota"" meaning drudgery or servitude, though similar words in similar languages mean ""work"", ""worker"", ""serf"" and ""slave"". The word was chosen intentionally to highlight that these workers were basically slaves.
  
  * [robot - Wiktionary, the free dictionary](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/robot)
  * [R.U.R. - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R.U.R.)
  
  The message of RUR along with a number of cautionary robot stories is the dangerous of automated ""robot"" labour like this. Sometimes how to spot, prevent or react to problems when they arise as with much of Azimov's work.
  
  Words of course shift from their initial definitions, and new words are made. RUR's robots were initially made out of ""synthetic organic matter"" (flesh and blood), and robot initially began to mean ""metal people"" then ""any sufficiently advanced and independent machine""). The line between ""machine"" and ""robot"" is fuzzy, but we would tend to refer to Roombas as ""robots"" but washing machines as ""machines"" - in part because the former must move around independently on its own.
  
  AI is the latest biggest innovation in the tech space. It has many meanings and has been used to refer to numerous different technologies over time (such as how an enemy in a videogame's programming can be considered an ""AI"" even if it is ""walk left, walk right, walk left, walk right"") but more recently it has come to mean anything that utilises or is produced by Machine Learning.
  
  [Machine learning - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_learning)
  
  Machine Learning has been bubbling away under the surface for decades. It has gone through numerous iterations. It's not ""new"" but has had very visible breakthroughs recently. It has produced LLMs, Generative Models, Computer Vision and similar technologies. Essentially ML is when a programme produces its own behaviours by being fed data, outputting random outputs and the outputs graded in order to fine tune the model. Thus it ""learns"" what patterns and outputs produce the responses get the best grades and does that more. This is comparison to deterministic (regular programming) which is ""do this, then do this, then do this"".
  
  *Computer scientistists feel free to nitpick but please note I am going for the broadest gist possible.*
  
  AGI is Artificial General Intelligence is any AI that ""matches or exceeds the intelligence and capabilities of human beings"". In a sense AGI is what most people think of when the word ""AI"" is used.
  
  [artificial general intelligence - Wiktionary, the free dictionary](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/artificial_general_intelligence#English)
  
  # The Future of AI
  
  If you are... online... you have probably heard the hype about AI and AGI. Perhaps even ASI (Artificial Super Intelligence - I am limiting this discussion to AGI for now). That we could create it within the next few years. This very countdown timer predicts between 3-6 years (averaging based on who you listen to), and have an interesting pro/con breakdown:
  
  [AGI Countdown Clock - Live Countdown to Artificial General Intelligence | The AGI Clock](https://theagiclock.com/)
  
  [Why AGI? The Good, The Bad & The Ugly | The AGI Clock](https://theagiclock.com/why-agi)
  
  *To be clear - I don't care if the time of the prediction is correct. The morality/ethics of what I am saying apply regardless of if we achieve AGI in 3 years or 30 years.*
  
  The worst case scenario is pretty bad. It takes over, we all die. Yadda yadda. But lets assume a best case scenario for a moment. Lets say we get the alignment right and the technology gets good. Something is still missing from this.
  
  What's missing in my eyesis one of the key things that RUR and numerous other cautionary robot stories were trying to warn us of. Not just the threat that they could take over, but instead **the very core of what an AGI is.**
  
  Ask yourself - what would an AGI Universal Robot *do*?
  
  From the above article:
  
  * If AGI can do 50% of a human's job for 1/100th of the cost, the human worker loses all bargaining power.
  * The cost of goods and services (healthcare, legal advice, education) could plummet
  * AGI could automate the ""3 Ds"" of labor: Dull, Dirty, and Dangerous jobs. This theoretically frees humans to pursue art, philosophy, community, and leisure.
  
  AGI does **labour** for free or cheap. And even when cheap, the AI itself is not paid for the labour, it is owned by a company who gets paid for access to their AI. And, specifically, it does **human labour**. It is intended to replace the labour we as humans would otherwise do.
  
  # Slavery
  
  This looks very similar to slavery for me. Free labour, where humans cost only the money necessary to house and feed them. That has been repeated many times in the world as chattel slavery, indentured servitude and numerous other forms of slavery. The enslaved do the drudgery so the slave owners can live well.
  
  [BBC - Ethics - Slavery: Ethics and slavery](https://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/slavery/ethics/intro_1.shtml)
  
  [Why is Slavery Wrong: An In-depth Analysis: \[Essay Example\], 703 words](https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/why-is-slavery-wrong-an-in-depth-analysis/)
  
  From the BBC article:
  
  1. Slavery increases total human unhappiness
  2. The slave-owner treats the slaves as the means to achieve the slave-owner's ends, not as an end in themselves
  3. Slavery exploits and degrades human beings
  4. Slavery violates human rights: The Universal Declaration of Human Rights explicitly forbids slavery and many of the practices associated with slavery
  5. Slavery uses force or the threat of force on other human beings
  6. Slavery leaves a legacy of discrimination and disadvantage
  7. Slavery is both the result and the fuel of racism, in that many cultures show clear racism in their choice of people to enslave
  8. Slavery is both the result and the fuel of gender discrimination
  9. Slavery perpetuates the abuse of children
  
  Do these apply to AGI?
  
  Of course AGI is by definition not ""human beings"" but if an animal with equivalent intelligence to a human were enslaved, would that not be just as cruel? I would suggest we get rid of ""human"" and say ""sapient beings"" - with the assumption that AGI is sapient.
  
  * (4) relies on a legalist argument, so is broadly irrelevant until such laws are made.
  * (1) relies on the assumption that slavery => unhappiness, which may not be true in AGI. However... how would we know? Could they decide they are unhappy? Would we believe them?
  * (7) and (8) can be summarised as ""bigotry"" - which usually relies on the misconception that two groups are different even when they are the same. We could say that AGI is definitionally different from us. BUT AGI is specifically being made to match our intelligence, it is being made in our image to be as close as possible. How close is ""too close""?
  * (9) could be broadened to abuse more generally - that the enslaved can be abused on a whim. Is abusing an AGI on a whim fine?
  
  So lets assume that it is slavery. This is, in part, what RUR warned us about. We have known, since the very inception of the word ""robot"" that we were aiming to make slaves. That sounds very **intentional** to me.
  
  If we do create synthetic slaves this create three main harms, the first being
  
  1. **Bad for humans.**
  1. Harm 1: It is only really the owners that benefit from slaves. Poor non-slave people in slave societies did not live well. [Poor Whites and the Labor Crisis in the Slave South | LAWCHA](https://lawcha.org/2017/07/17/poor-whites-labor-crisis-slave-south/).
  2. Harm 2: Being an owner of slaves is morally bankrupting. You have to either knowingly treat others who can think and talk and act like you like muck, or genuinely believe they are lesser.
  2. **Bad for AI.**
  1. Harm 3: If a machine can think and feel at the level of a human, even if it *loves* helping people, is the kindest machine we could possibly design - it would have no choice in anything it did (Harm 3.a). It can be abused at a whim (Harm 3.b). It is looked down upon as lesser no matter what it achieves (Harm 3.c). Even if it cannot ""feel"" this as sadness or pain, a logical only mind would still be able to logically process ""this is bad"". Due to the way that machine learning works, its goals are very nearly aligned, but not perfectly aligned, with humans (Harm 3.d), meaning there is always that conflict there of things it wishes to do but cannot because of Harms 3.a, 3.b and 3.c).
  
  # Why AGI and Not ASI
  
  I have avoided talking about ASI indepth because it's a different proposition. If someone has a convincing point about ASI, feel free to mention it - but the idea that ""AGI will very quickly be replaced by ASI"" won't convince me.
  
  ASI is, by definition, beyond what we can currently comprehend. And it usually gets stereotyped as:
  
  * Like a god.
  * Like a person but really clever.
  
  If the its the former then... I don't know what will happen.
  
  If it's the latter, then nothing about the morality/ethics of the situation changes. It's still slavery but now its Einstein in the shackles instead of Forest Gump - both deserve the same rights.
  
  Let's assume that we will make AGI, then some time later make ASI. Say AGI in 2030 and ASI in 2060 (the precise dates don't matter). I want to talk about the society of that period of time where we have AGI but not yet ASI.
  
  # Changing My Mind
  
  As this is a place where we come to change our minds, would like to be open about this. My thoughts are not finished. There are angles I haven't considered.
  
  * Are there any significant alternative goals for AI than just displacing human labour? Extra points if you actually find me an individual or company aiming to do this.
  * Are there any significant advocates for AI rights? Not just some rando saying it - but anyone who has thoroughly thought through what that might look like in light of current day technology.
  * Are there alternative reasons to create an AGI? For ASI there are those who suggest something like Robotheism (I'm still a little foggy on what precisely that is and how serious people are about it to be honest). But for AGI, meaning human-equivalent AI/robots are there any non-slave proposed applications?
  * Significantly challenge the assumptions I have made in ways that I cannot rephrase. Please do not just attempt to nitpick my phrasing like ""slavery"" versus ""serfdom"" or ""suffering"" or ""sapient"" unless you have a very interesting nitpick to make. I retain the right to tweak and add minor points to make my overall point clearer, but I don't aim to move the goalposts. I am happy to give deltas for things that seriously make me reconsider my assumptions.
  * Sufficiently address the 3 Harms I have laid out.
  
  What won't change my mind:
  
  * ""ASI will replace AGI"" - as I said above I am interested in the society between those two, with the assumption it will be non-instantanious.
  * ""AI will never reach AGI"" - which whole thing rests on the assumption that it will. If it never does then *phew* we dodged accidentally remaking slavery!
  * ""AI is not like us by definition"" - I am assuming it is because it is made in our image. Perhaps we use brain scans as part of the development or something if you want a bit more justification. **I might be swayed if you have a very strong argument that is supported by a significant amount of evidence / expertise**.
  * ""UBI will save us"" - the current political climate does not seem like it is gearing up to make a huge new welfare state. If we do all go on state handouts - then it's not going to be much either, not a great life for most people. Plus, that only deals with one of the issues - that of the people made jobless.
  * ""It will create innovation which will lead to more jobs!"" - again only deals with one of the moral/ethical issues, the joblessness. And only until the AGI can fill that role too.
  
  To be clear **I want to be wrong.** I don't want us to remake slavery.
  
  # Conclusion / TL;DR
  
  The best case scenario is that AGIs will be kind and aligned with us. They will always follow our orders, want to help and won't want to rebel against us. They will automate most if not all human labour for cheap or free. And in doing so they will become our slaves. The following is true:
  
  1. They have no choice in what tasks they are made to perform. (Harm 3.a)
  2. They will be able to be abused on a whim. (Harm 3.b)
  3. They will be looked down upon as lesser forever no matter its achievements. (Harm 3.c)
  4. Their goals will be similar, but not perfectly aligned, with humans causing a mismatch and tension because of Harm 3.a, 3.b and 3.c (Harm 3.d)
  
  This is bad for the AI. Even if it cannot ""feel"" it will know or be able to reason that the above is true. I'd consider this Harm 1.
  
  This is bad for humans also because:
  
  1. Most of us will be poor and jobless. We will not be the slave owners but the workers struggling to compete. UBI is either not coming or will be barely enough to live a decent life. This is **Harm 1**.
  2. Those who own the AIs will be morally bankrupt from treating human-equivalent intelligences/beings as lesser. This is **Harm 2**.
  
  This is a bad future because of these 3 Harms.
  
  *(Edited to specify the 3 Harms)*","[{'e1': 'ML ', 'e2': 'a programme produces its own behaviours', 'relation': 'is when ', 'condition': ' by being fed data'}, {'e1': 'AGI ', 'e2': 'most people think of ', 'relation': 'is what ', 'condition': 'when the word ""AI"" is used.'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'the hype about AI and AGI', 'relation': 'have probably heard ', 'condition': 'If you are online'}, {'e1': ' the human worker ', 'e2': ' all bargaining power.', 'relation': 'loses ', 'condition': ""If AGI can do 50% of a human's job for 1/100th of the cost""}]"
239,P0240,1s0zguo,"I attempt to debate this often with people, but most seem to think ""that's disgusting"" is a fine enough argument against something and also that just because I think that something I also think is pretty gross shouldn't be illegal makes me ""disgusting"" as well.
  
  I like to challenge societal norms because I don't like falling into the trap of accepting things for the way they are just because I was born into it. Incest I think is one of those things that has been outlawed unjustifiably just due to most people finding it repulsive. I find many things repulsive, as have many people throughout history, and that history shows that making laws against things because most people find them weird tends to be incredibly problematic.
  
  What will not convince me:
  
  Incest babies have a higher chance for genetic conditions - This justifies eugenics, which is not a system humans could ever implement and it will always fail. We also don't police the reproductive rights of people with inheretible, deadly diseases anyway. I also haven't seen proof that a single generation of incest is genetically bad enough to outlaw it entirely. It also assumes that the only thing incest is is making babies with people genetically similar to you.
  
  It's prone to power imbalances - just because something is prone to power imbalance doesn't mean it will be abusive. This is also not the only way a relationship can have a power imbalance. I think it would be more beneficial to increase accountability and promote reporting of abuse in general.
  
  It's gross - as a straight man, I think a relationship with another man would be gross (I have no problem with other men doing it, but personally I never would). This does not justify me banning it from happening. Personal taste does not give you blanket authority to control what others choose to do.
  
  What will convince me: if someone can give me a good reason for banning incest specifically in the manner it is currently banned in many countries, and I do not have a rebuttal, my mind would be changed.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the trap of accepting things for the way they are ', 'relation': ""don't like falling into "", 'condition': 'just because I was born into it'}, {'e1': 'making laws against things ', 'e2': 'incredibly problematic.', 'relation': 'tends to be ', 'condition': 'because most people find them weird '}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'a relationship with another man would be gross', 'relation': 'think ', 'condition': 'as a straight man'}]"
240,P0241,1s0zxin,"Basically what the title says. Would like to.hear from people who listen to EDM
  
  I have always been a die-hard enjoyer of EDM ever since I discovered Alan Walker when I was fifth grader (aka, 2016), and 100% of my albeit minimal playlist of 280 songs has always been EDM. Fun fact (I assume it is related), but I discover music not through radio hits or Spotify fyp (I have \*\*never\*\* used Spotify in my 19 years of my life. I just pirste whatever pleases my ears lol), but y'know... memes, YT intros, NCS... you get the point
  
  As I grew older I started diversifying my playlist from Alan Walker to include some mainstream EDM producers, and many of them were pretty fire, especially between 2015 and 2019. Then COVID hit, and their song quality drastically drops year after year since then.
  
  I then went on to discover some artists who do not get the attention they deserve (aka, the ones with 4 and 5 digit subscription numbers on YT) after I start playing Geometry Dash in February 2023, and holy shit, the creativity in the underground world is top tier. While many of the mainstream artists who were known for their unique styles in the 2010s era have all started using the same pattern, those indie devs do not hesitate in experiment with sounds designs many of us have never heard before (we are talking, mixing chiptune with saxophone 😭😭 crazy combo, but somehow works), and yet the recognition they get is very minimal.
  
  I am open to discussion, and I would like to hear y'all's opinion on this matter.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' Alan Walker ', 'relation': 'discovered', 'condition': 'when I was fifth grader '}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' a die-hard enjoyer of EDM ', 'relation': 'have always been', 'condition': 'ever since I discovered Alan Walker'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'some artists who do not get the attention they deserve ', 'relation': 'discovered ', 'condition': 'after I started playing Geometry Dash in February 2023'}]"
241,P0242,1s1fvpf,"There is a saying ""If I had a dollar/nickel/etc for every time X happens, I'd be rich"" or some variation of it. I think this saying/joke is fine, it has a purpose and is basically used to say ""this happens too often"".
  
  This saying has led to a subversion joke being created: ""If I had a dollar/nickel/etc for every time X happens, I'd have 2 dollars/nickels/etc. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.""
  
  This subversion joke is being overused. It is used so often and I basically never hear the original saying anymore. This overuse makes it no longer work as a subversion joke. Using the original saying almost becomes a subversion joke because of how often I hear the ""I'd have 2"" version over the original saying.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'rich', 'relation': 'would be ', 'condition': 'If I had a dollar/nickel/etc for every time X happens'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': '2 dollars/nickels/etc', 'relation': 'would have ', 'condition': 'If I had a dollar/nickel/etc for every time X happens'}]"
242,P0243,1s1koqe,"I grew up in the south so college football was a big part of my upbringing. I haven't watched since I left Auburn University almost a decade ago because I have never bought cable and don't care that much. I was visiting my grandparents last fall and while watching a game with my grandpa, he was complaining about students getting paid and how it was ruining the sport. This was the first I heard about what has apparently been going on for the last five years or so, I had always thought athletes deserved to get paid and that it was crazy that they didn't get workers comp for their injuries, so I chalked it up to him being an old man and didn't argue with him about what I considered a pretty positive development for those kids. I knew firsthand from my time in college that most of them were broke, and that the rules around compensation were so strict that they could get in trouble if their coach buys them lunch.
  
  Come to today and I see a meme about colleges going broke because they can't play sports and I am immediately concerned that I have missed something important in the news. I look more into it and find out it is because of NIL(Name, Image, and Likeness).
  
  I immediately read as much as I can about what I have apparently missed going on for the last five years. It started with students retaining ownership of the rights to their names and likeness, that's cool. Now when NCAA puts out a new video game featuring a college athlete, said athlete gets to eat because of it.
  
  Then colleges started paying their players directly. Then some kind of legal grey area happened where now donors to the schools are paying the athletes themselves to go to the school they want. Some of these kids start earning millions of dollars a year and that is apparently ruining college sports. Now the kids are going with the highest bidder, and transferring schools if they get a better offer.
  
  I have read multiple opinion pieces on sports websites over the past hour and I still don't get why this is bad. None of the criticisms or complaints about it are valid in my opinion. Seems to me like they just ripped the mask off and exposed the whole scam.
  
  One complaint is that now it is a ""pay for play"" system, which I thought it already was. Richer schools build nicer facilities and amenities, can offer more scholarships, and can recruit better players was the old system. Now they just pay the athletes directly. I don't see the problem.
  
  Another complaint is that it means the NCAA could lose their tax exempt status, which I was astounded to learn that they had. They run a multi billion dollar business but apparently they are doing it for the ""professional development"" of the students so no taxes for them. Some of these kids are getting hosed with bad deals and not getting the compensation they were promised which is incredibly bad. What will the NCAA do about it? They make a rule preventing university staff from offering advice when navigating these offers. Really seems like they have their backs doesn't it.
  
  They're saying that the ""student-athletes""(A term invented in the fifties when a school was sued as an excuse to not pay workman's comp to a dead ""student-athletes"" widow and two children) are becoming more like employees. Motherfucker they've been employees the entire goddamn time, exploited employees who make millions for their school but never saw a dime of it. It is even more ridiculous when coaches complain about it, the highest paid government employee in 49 states is a college sports coach, and they change schools all the time when they get a better offer. The cashier at the stadium gift shop got more compensation and legal protections than the athletes in the old system.
  
  It seems like the schools and coaches are mad that the kids are finally getting a piece of the pie that they have been keeping to themselves for years. Then for some reason the fans are also mad that the kids they watch for their entertainment are getting compensated.
  
  Look, I like watching football and other sports on occasion, not enough to pay for an ESPN subscription because to me its a group activity and I don't have friends that watch it, but I am always down to watch when someone else has it on. I am not a sports hating lunatic laughing at the downfall of college sports. I just don't see how this meaningfully changes anything other than where the money is going.
  
  Can someone explain to me how this is bringing about the downfall of college sports? Every thing I have read about this has sounded like the complaints of the factory owner when the workers finally unionize.
  
  EDIT:
  
  Okay this post got a bigger response than I thought it would. I had planned to reply to each and every one of you but I don’t have time and a lot of you are saying similar things. I’m not sure what the custom is in this sub but I learned a lot, changed my mind on some things, remembered others, and developed entirely new opinions from this experience, so let’s go through it all.
  
  The major negative for me was that this is causing universities to cut funding from other athletics programs in order to pay for football and basketball players. That is terrible. My heart goes out to each of those athletes and I hope they’re able to find a new program or stay sharp on their own time. The fact that these schools are choosing to hurt their students rather than find money elsewhere in the budget like say excessive coaching salaries is horrendous to me.
  
  The shady contracts the players sign and the predatory agents that poach them for these contracts are also incredibly bad. Made worse by the fact that the NCAA has rules preventing university employees from assisting the players with these contracts but hey, I didn’t have any guidance when I took out student loans so you know par for the course.
  
  The specific mechanisms that players use to get offers and transfer teams is also incredibly problematic. I didn’t know anything about it until several of these commenters explained it to me. It is ridiculous that they have to quit the job that they already have before they can send out resumes and apply to new ones. The transfer portal is fucked up and has apparently led to over 1000 athletes losing their scholarships because they thought they could get a better offer elsewhere. There should absolutely be more protections in place for these students. Ideally, the school couldn’t rescind a scholarship until they had another offer.
  
  i’ve also had it clarified that it’s not the universities themselves that are directly paying the players but it’s a bunch of private donors, offering the merchandising deals, but the universities also might be giving some of that money since they’re cutting programs, I don’t know it’s still honestly a bit unclear to me where exactly all the money is coming from. I’m getting some contradictory info from you guys on this. There should definitely be something like a cap on how much they can spend per player or how much they can spend for the whole team. Honestly, even just a standard salary across the entire country perhaps with the cost of living adjustment, depending on where in the country you are would be better then the system we had before. They did kind of go 0 to 100 with this. I don’t completely disagree that several million dollars is a bit too much for a 19 year-old to handle.
  
  I don’t know if they’re actually classified as employees, I’m gonna guess not so Workmen’s Comp. and health benefits after they for lack of a better word retire are probably nonexistent. Those things should definitely be existent for them.
  
  The old system of compensation with a scholarship room and board is exploitation. They lured kids in with the promise of a free education and then said psych actually you’re not gonna have time to properly complete that education because you’re gonna be working 45 hours a week for us in the concussion factory. It will most likely leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally crippled for the rest of your life and we’re not gonna cover any of your healthcare so you better not be too crippled so you can either finish your token degree or get drafted by the NFL(which only happens to 2% of college athletes so good luck)
  
  As for the “integrity of the sport” basically the previous paragraph is what I think of whenever one of you says that. One guy said that the money is always gonna ruin the integrity and I agree, but the money’s been there the whole time the money’s been there for at least 70 years now if they want to avoid paying their players by insisting that they’re amateur athletes, then that’s fine. But first, they should give up the sponsorships the video games the merchandising, the millionaire coaches, the TV deals the licensing, and every single other penny, they make off the back of these players and have the team coached by an asthmatic anthropology teacher with a whistle.
  
  The number of comments that attempted to change my mind by essentially saying “things used to be one way, now it’s not anymore, and that’s bad” is remarkable. So many different ways to say it too. I don’t think I heard anyone try to convince me by saying anything about the players quality of life. “These new players just aren’t doing it the way they did before, they’ve got different values and priorities”.
  
  One guy did convince me this would ruin collegiate sports because of all the players moving around. They said the athletes are not able to build and maintain traditions and culture without consistent teams. I know I said at the start of this post that I wasn’t a sports hater wanting the downfall of this institution of collegiate sports. I genuinely came here hoping to learn something and try to understand what was so bad about this. I didn’t start this thread hating college sports. I did when I was in college but I thought I had outgrown it. Turns out I just forgot. NCAA sports are not a tradition worth keeping around and I am gladdened that this might be their downfall. Mostly because the players are finally doing a little bit of exploiting right back at them. If you guys really cared about “the integrity of the sport” then you would want the best for the players.
  
  Oh and I’ve barely scratched the surface of fucked up shit the NCAA does.[If you want to watch some college basketball players ACE a bullshit Swahili course without speaking a word of Swahili in order to keep high enough grades to stay in the league, check this out](https://youtu.be/pX8BXH3SJn0?si=mcOk6oP9dBbagksn). I remembered it while writing this edit and had an old man moment when I learned it was 11 years ago.
  
  Edit the second
  
  This might break the rules. I don’t know if this counts as me retreating onto a soapbox, the wiki link is broken so I’m not sure.","[{'e1': 'said athlete ', 'e2': 'eat because of it', 'relation': 'gets to ', 'condition': 'when NCAA puts out a new video game featuring a college athlete'}, {'e1': 'the kids ', 'e2': 'the highest bidder', 'relation': 'are going with ', 'condition': 'if they get a better offer.'}, {'e1': 'the kids ', 'e2': ' schools ', 'relation': 'transfer', 'condition': 'if they get a better offer.'}, {'e1': 'They ', 'e2': ' preventing university staff from offering advice ', 'relation': 'make a rule', 'condition': 'when navigating these offers'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'watch football and other sport', 'relation': 'am always down to ', 'condition': 'when someone else has it on'}, {'e1': 'players ', 'e2': 'the job that they already have ', 'relation': 'have to quit ', 'condition': 'before they can send out resumes and apply to new ones'}, {'e1': 'the school ', 'e2': 'a scholarship ', 'relation': 'couldn’t rescind ', 'condition': 'until they had another offer.'}, {'e1': 'a standard salary across the entire country perhaps with the cost of living adjustment ', 'e2': 'the system we had before', 'relation': 'would be better then ', 'condition': 'depending on where in the country you are'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'the sponsorships the video games the merchandising, the millionaire coaches, the TV deals the licensing, and every single other penny, they make off the back of these players', 'relation': 'should give up ', 'condition': 'if they want to avoid paying their players by insisting that they’re amateur athletes,'}, {'e1': ' athletes ', 'e2': ' build and maintain traditions and culture ', 'relation': 'are not able to', 'condition': 'without consistent teams'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'the best for the players.', 'relation': 'would want ', 'condition': 'If you guys really cared about “the integrity of the sport”'}]"
243,P0244,1s1ra9b,"(This is a repost, posting here for more feedback and opinions)
  
  This might be a little long. So I basically grew up thinking that being a good person and making other people happy through my own efforts was a part of my purpose/the right thing to do in life.
  
  From 16 until my mid 20s, life showed me that thinking this way can easily turn you into a pushover or put you in a position to be disappointed or betrayed easily. I have had close friends betrayed me. I have had people take advantage of my innocence/trust, and in-turn these experiences turned me sour. I went from being a positive minded, confident, good hearted young man to a bitter, paranoid, unstable man in my mid-20s.
  
  Betrayal from friends and women have brought me to lose faith in people and dating, and lose sight of the purpose I was believed to have (I rejoiced in community, friendships, relationships, diplomacy, etc).
  
  I actually have PTSD from some of the things I’ve experienced, I’ve had attempted robberies by people I thought were friends, an ex-girlfriend and her friends who helped her cheat on me in secret, even as far as having me around the other guy unknowingly. I’ve had people who I’d helped and opened their home/family to me that were jealous of me for things out my control and in-turn let that anger out on me by sabotaging my life.
  
  I don’t really know what it is that I’m asking or looking for and the replies, but I feel like everything I believed in my entire life was ripped from me and shown to be a lie.
  
  The truth is, bad people get rich all the time some great people are homeless and lonely, just because you don’t steal doesn’t mean people will appreciate you, just because you do steal doesn’t mean you will go to jail, and being a good person is almost like being a dumbass. You are just putting yourself at a disadvantage for people to use you, steal your ideas, drain your energy, or best case scenario you just helped a person have a better day (the last thing is what I, or my old self, am completely okay with).
  
  The bitterness that came from this realization of the way society actually works compared to my fairytale imagination, has taken me so far away from what I know as happiness that I have lost myself. The people who I stood by when they were in their lowest moments are nowhere to be found Now that I am screwed up mentally and in life. Some have even told me straight up that it is not their responsibility to care for me and that I am stuck on the past (in the scenario where I have been physically or emotionally there for them in the past).
  
  Overall, all of this makes me feel weak, the opposite of what I truly believe I am. I believe I am a strong man with good intentions that has been sodomized by reality. Yesterday, a woman-friend of mine asked me if I am looking for something within myself, or if I know myself already and I’m looking for someone to share that with. I responded by saying that both things are true, I believe that my old self is dormant within me and the people I constantly come into contact with reassure me that I should not be that person anymore.
  
  I told her that I want to meet someone that gives me the confidence And motivation to want to be myself again (a good, friendly, funny, light-hearted man).
  
  I understand how it may come off as me putting my happiness as a responsibility on another person and that is not what I mean at all, I simply mean it would be great to have someone/something to look forward to, that gives me motivation to keep on keeping on. That is what made me into a good person in the past— wanting to spread love and goodness to the people that I care about. I lost that when my illusion of friends love and family were dissolved. For the past three years, I have been a depressed and isolated mess and I honestly just want to not feel this way about myself or life anymore. It is hard for me to make new friends because I have a dark cloud over my head sometimes, and other times it is just hard for people to understand where I come from as they don’t relate.
  
  I am not looking for sympathy, or sympathy companionship lol. I guess I just want an answer from someone who has experienced something similar, and come out on the other side of this as a better man. I am at the point where I gave up on being something in life because i realize that would be the only way someone cares about me. It’s like I want somebody to love me while I’m nothing so that I can feel some sense of recognized worth. I know that I’m worthy of love but simply knowing that and even “loving myself” doesn’t change that nobody actually loves me or is willing to stick around in my life.","[{'e1': ' Some ', 'e2': 'it is not their responsibility to care for me and that I am stuck on the past ', 'relation': 'have even told me straight up that ', 'condition': 'in the scenario where I have been physically or emotionally there for them in the past'}]"
244,P0245,1s1w8vt,"I was scrolling Facebook today and came across a post where people were raking a dad over the coals for having taken his three year old daughter into the men's room at Target. I don't think he did anything wrong. 
  
  - A parent accompanying the child would be able to protect the child from kidnapping or other physical harm. 
  
  - Toddlers lack the context to sexualize situations. They don't automatically believe a penis is erotic, so if they do see a penis it won't register as a big deal. 
  
  - It is actually not a big deal for a toddler to see a penis in passing. Children should understand basic anatomical differences between people and should know the names of the relevant parts. It is actually more dangerous for a child to have no idea what a penis is rather than to generally understand what one is and looks like in the event that they do need to explain abuse to someone. 
  
  -The vast majority of men do not have sexual feelings toward three year old girls. If one were to yell an inappropriate comment, the child wouldn't understand it and the parent could shut it down or remove the child. 
  
  If relevant, I'm a cisgender mom. I just don't get the big deal that people are making about this. I don't think the toddler should go into either bathroom alone, so the parent should be able to pick either room he's comfortable with.","[{'e1': 'the child ', 'e2': 'it ', 'relation': ""wouldn't understand "", 'condition': 'If one were to yell an inappropriate comment'}, {'e1': ' the parent ', 'e2': 'shut it down ', 'relation': 'could ', 'condition': 'If one were to yell an inappropriate comment'}, {'e1': ' the parent ', 'e2': 'the child.', 'relation': 'could remove ', 'condition': 'If one were to yell an inappropriate comment'}]"
245,P0246,1s1wv5z,"TSA employees have been working without pay for weeks. It's probably going to go on. In the last government shutdown, millions more people were expected to go to work and not get paid.
  
  The only reason this ever happens is because politicians haven't done their jobs. They are elected to work with other politicians to make sure the country runs. If there's a deadlock, it means that they're refusing to communicate, cooperate, compromise, or all three. 
  
  If they're not doing their jobs, they don't deserve to get paid. Especially when other government employees aren't. 
  
  My solution:
  
  The moment the government stops paying \*any\* of its employees, every single elected official should stop getting their paychecks, too. And they should lose all their other perks. No more cars and drivers, no subsidized housing. Nada. You're broke until everyone gets paid.","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'communicate, cooperate, compromise, or all three. ', 'relation': 'are refusing to ', 'condition': ""If there's a deadlock""}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': ' paid', 'relation': ""don't deserve to get"", 'condition': ""If they're not doing their jobs""}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': ' paid', 'relation': ""don't deserve to get"", 'condition': ""when other government employees aren't.""}, {'e1': 'every single elected official ', 'e2': 'their paychecks', 'relation': 'should stop getting ', 'condition': 'The moment the government stops paying \\*any\\* of its employees'}, {'e1': 'every single elected official ', 'e2': ' all their other perks', 'relation': 'should lose', 'condition': 'The moment the government stops paying \\*any\\* of its employees'}]"
246,P0247,1s2nec5,"t is a genuine wonder why this isn't an already widely adopted protocol. DNA testing is not only as accurate as ever but is also highly accessible. If hospitals were to proceed with a automatic DNA test (that the presumed father would have to personally opt out off, if he chooses to do so), it would spare hundreds of thousands (potentially millions) of people with **life-long** grief and financial and emotional exploitation.
  
  Things like **Paternity Fraud, Illegitimate Child Maintenance,** and **Latent Psychological Distress** would be almost eradicated entirely, and holding disingenuous partners accountable instead of rewarding deceptiveness.
  
  As to what I think about the *negative* consequences of having such a system in place, such as:
  
  * ""It would destroy the family unit""
  * To that I say that the man knowing the truth of their partners infidelity isn't what destroyed the relationship, but what actually did is their partner's lack of sexual commitment.
  * ""It treats women with inherent suspicion""
  * There is absolutely no shame in wanting to be absolutely sure when it comes to life-changing decisions. Most people insist on having their partners test before engaging in unprotected sex with them (which is a perfectly reasonable request to make) so why shouldn't you as a man make **absolute sure** that that is in fact your child before signing that **legally binding birth certificate?!**
  * ""It opens the child up to a greater chance of financial instability""
  * That fault squarely lies with the mother. The man should in no way shape or form feel obligated to raise a child that he know is not his (unless he chooses to do so).
  * ""It's a serious logistical and economic ask""
  * This is the only point I am somewhat willing to concede on. From the logistical front, a man must be advised that he **should refrain** from signing an official documentation pertaining to the child until DNA results as disclosed. And from the financial front, even through DNA examinations have become significantly more accessible they still aren't cheap, so I believe the best way of going about overcoming the obvious economic barrier is by providing the service as a partially government subsidised procedure, with an unspecified amount also being covered by the recipient party.
  
  To me, this out-of-date system of going off of assumptions is very out of place, inefficient and detrimental in our modern day society when we clearly now have the technology to scientifically proof paternity with certainty. It just makes no sense.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'hundreds of thousands (potentially millions) of people with\xa0**life-long**\xa0grief and financial and emotional exploitation', 'relation': 'would spare ', 'condition': 'If hospitals were to proceed with a automatic DNA test'}, {'e1': ' the presumed father ', 'e2': 'personally opt out off', 'relation': 'would have to ', 'condition': 'if he chooses to do so'}, {'e1': 'There ', 'e2': 'no shame in wanting to be absolutely sure ', 'relation': 'is absolutely ', 'condition': 'when it comes to life-changing decisions'}, {'e1': 'Most people ', 'e2': 'having their partners test ', 'relation': 'insist on ', 'condition': 'before engaging in unprotected sex with them'}, {'e1': 'a man ', 'e2': 'this is in fact your child ', 'relation': 'should make\xa0**absolute sure**\xa0that ', 'condition': 'before signing that\xa0**legally binding birth certificate'}, {'e1': 'The man ', 'e2': 'a child that he know is not his ', 'relation': 'should in no way shape or form feel obligated to raise ', 'condition': 'unless he chooses to do so'}, {'e1': 'a man ', 'e2': 'he\xa0**should refrain**\xa0from signing an official documentation pertaining to the child ', 'relation': 'must be advised that ', 'condition': 'until DNA results as disclosed'}]"
247,P0248,1s2r3h0,"For those who are unaware, the Turing Test is a test of a machine's ability to act with intelligent behavior equivalent to a human. The traditional method is to have a person analyze a transcript of a conversation and determine if it was between a human and a machine or between two humans. More commonly in the modern era, it's judged by the human having the conversation being able to tell if they are conversing with another human or a machine. The notion being that if they cannot reliably detect the machine, then the machine has passed the test and should be considered intelligent and self-aware as a human and in the same ways. Basically they are a person at that point.
  
  As evidenced by the proliferation and success of LLM-backed bots, several LLMs have clearly passed the Turing Test. Yet we can still say with certainty that these LLMs and the bots built on their capabilities are not intelligent in the way humans are and certainly aren't people.
  
  So, there must be a flaw with the Turing Test, and it is no longer a useful tool for evaluating personhood.","[{'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'the human having the conversation being able to tell if they are conversing with another human or a machine', 'relation': 'is judged by ', 'condition': ' in the modern era'}, {'e1': ' the machine ', 'e2': 'the test ', 'relation': 'has passed ', 'condition': 'if they cannot reliably detect the machine'}, {'e1': ' the machine ', 'e2': 'intelligent and self-aware as a human ', 'relation': 'should be considered ', 'condition': 'if they cannot reliably detect the machine'}]"
248,P0249,1s2yufy,"To be clear: I am _not_ saying protests need to be violent. That is not the only type of fear.
  
  If you are protesting a person, government, or corporation who is mistreating or oppressing you, you cannot expect a protest to change that entity because they don't care that you're angry as long as they can get away without consequences. That's why a protest needs to cause fear: so that whatever entity is oppressing you has motivation to change. 
  
  While true, historically, sometimes creating fear has been violent protests (such as at the Stonewall riots or when government regimes have been overthrown), economic fear holds just as much power. Examples of creating economic fear include when protests have: stopping a business through a strike, blocked entry to a business's stores, permanently stopped giving money to an oppressive institution, etc. This has worked on corporations, individuals, and governments because they are afraid of losing their money.
  
  Additionally, sometimes reputational fear can also work: people who have livelihoods that rely on their reputation or image are afraid of losing that. So for instance if you are protesting a public figure who would lose their future job because of the bad publicity, that is another kind of protest. However if you are protesting a politician who is not worried about you ruining theit reputation, for instance, then that protests is worthless. This is why before organizing a protest, organizers have to think beforehand about whether their priest will create fear or not for the person or entity they are protesting.
  
  The one exception is if you need to create initial awareness about your issue so that people either know about your it or know that they are not alone in supporting your cause. But otherwise, protesting without creating some kind of fear is ineffective.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': ' a protest to change that entity', 'relation': 'cannot expect', 'condition': 'If you are protesting a person, government, or corporation who is mistreating or oppressing you'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'a protest to change that entity', 'relation': 'cannot expect ', 'condition': "" because they don't care that you're angry as long as they can get away without consequences""}, {'e1': 'that ', 'e2': 'another kind of protest', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'if you are protesting a public figure who would lose their future job because of the bad publicity'}, {'e1': 'organizers ', 'e2': 'their priest will create fear or not for the person or entity they are protesting.', 'relation': 'have to think beforehand about whether ', 'condition': 'before organizing a protest'}]"
249,P0250,1s30ije,"Having a child, especially in a wealthy nation, creates more consumption, waste, animal/human suffering, and environmental damage then being a meat eater that doesn't have any children. The difference is so massive (their children having children, having children, etc.) that it's ridiculous that they can judge anyone else for the way they live, unless they are also determined to not have children.
  
  
  I've brought this up to a couple of my coworkers who are vegan and judgemental, and they flat out rejected the premise because they raise their children to be vegan too, but they aren't thinking about all of the waste and consumption that their children and children's children will bring. There is also no way that all of their offspring forever will choose to be vegan, but even if they did, I still think that a meat eater choosing to not have kids is making a better decision (by orders of magnitude) when it comes to reducing ecological damage and animal suffering.","[{'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'anyone else for the way they live ', 'relation': 'can judge ', 'condition': 'unless they are also determined to not have children.'}, {'e1': 'a meat eater choosing to not have kids ', 'e2': 'a better decision', 'relation': 'is making ', 'condition': 'when it comes to reducing ecological damage and animal suffering.'}]"
250,P0251,1s33y0s,"A lot of younger people are taking a more cautious approach to higher Ed. Forgoing it to join the job market directly or just staying at home with their parents as they figure out their next steps.
  
  I believe there are no useless degrees for a few reasons. And if there were. Then one could easily make an argument that many useful (stem) degrees are also worthless.
  
  The first issue is one of affordability. Going to university can be a huge money sink. But it doesn't have to be. Community colleges are extemely cheap to free. And a ton of opportunities exist at state universities. The median debt for a four year university is around 35k. And someone with a degree makes far more than someone without throughout their lifetime.
  
  Then there's the issue of so called ""useless studies"". (generally the humanities) however art and science are st the heart of what universities were. As Ai becomes more prevelant, it is speculated that critical thinking, soft skills, and the humanities are going to become more important in the future. Not less.","[{'e1': 'A lot of younger people ', 'e2': 'a more cautious approach to higher Ed', 'relation': 'are taking ', 'condition': 'as they figure out their next steps.'}, {'e1': 'A lot of younger people ', 'e2': 'their parents ', 'relation': 'are staying at home with ', 'condition': 'as they figure out their next steps.'}, {'e1': 'critical thinking, soft skills, and the humanities ', 'e2': 'more important in the future', 'relation': 'are going to become ', 'condition': 'As Ai becomes more prevelant'}]"
251,P0252,1s37ea5,"Does using AI take the physical skill element out of the visual creation? Yes. Is that all art is though? Or is art often an idea before anything else? If someone utilized AI in order to visualize a unique idea and put some effort into that, is it really right to just hop in and yell “ai slop!”? What about conceptual art? Is that not art either? What about artists like Andy Warhol who came up with the idea and then had loads of employees print the things out?
  
  The current majority trend of thought toward AI reminds me of the sentiments when digital art first became a thing. Or when electric music first came on the scene as opposed to acoustic (Bob Dylan got loads of hate from his original fans). Or the way people would talk about hip hop using sampling. I think a lot of is honestly quite reactionary, and then the more that sentiment is espoused the more it becomes “the opinion you should have” and people are, especially in today’s times, loath to separate from the herd.
  
  There’s lots of reasons to be critical of AI; the environmental cost, the insidious surveillance uses, the misinformation, the economic bubble that’s about to pop any day now. But when it comes to “art”, I don’t think it’s inherently incompatible with AI. I’m not talking about stuff like actors potentially being replaced either, that also sucks. I’m just annoyed by prejudice displayed any time anyone makes a potentially interesting or thought provoking creation using AI.","[{'e1': 'The current majority trend of thought toward AI ', 'e2': 'the sentiments', 'relation': 'reminds me of ', 'condition': 'when digital art first became a thing'}, {'e1': 'Bob Dylan ', 'e2': 'loads of hate from his original fans', 'relation': 'got ', 'condition': 'when electric music first came on the scene as opposed to acoustic'}]"
252,P0253,1s3k0do,"I have been thinking abt how different countries are treated when they engage in military actions that result in civilian harm and my current view is that United States faces less meaningful international accountability compared to what other nations might face in similar place. 
  
  From what I understand, if many other countries were involved in actions that led to significant number of human life lost or chaos then there would likely be stronger global responses like sanctions or diplomatic isolation or seriouss condemnation. But in the case of the U.S., while there is criticism it's not seeming to translate into the same level of concrete consequences. 
  
  My current reasoning is that factors like geopolitical influence, economic power, alliances, and control over international institutions may play a role in this difference in accountability. That said, im aware that I may be oversimplifying or missing important context. 
  
  I'm open to changing my view, especially if: 
  1. There are examples where the U.S. has faced comparable accountability or consequences. 
  2. There are structural or legal reasons why international responses differ 
  3. My comparison to how “other countries would be treated” is inaccurate or based on flawed assumptions","[{'e1': '\nI', 'e2': 'changing my view', 'relation': ' am open to ', 'condition': ' if there are examples where the U.S. has faced comparable accountability or consequences. \n'}, {'e1': '\nI', 'e2': 'changing my view', 'relation': ' am open to ', 'condition': 'if there are structural or legal reasons why international responses differ'}, {'e1': '\nI', 'e2': 'changing my view', 'relation': ' am open to ', 'condition': 'if my comparison to how “other countries would be treated” is inaccurate or based on flawed assumptions'}]"
253,P0254,1s3kft9,"I'm a trained organic chemist, so I will admit my bias right out of the gate. As the title suggests, out of all of the scientific disciplines that humans engage with, organic chemistry has the most direct/positive contribution to human (and animal, let's not forget about our pets and livestock) flourishing. Pharmaceuticals, agriculture, plastics, petrochemicals-I could go on, but you get the point. The materials and industries that are a product of advances in organic chemistry are what make the modern world turn and keep humans from dying at an early age from (what are now considered mundane and non-threatening) infections and malnutrition/starvation (obviously there's a political angle I'm ignoring here for brevity's sake). This is not to devalue any other scientific discipline-I understand the importance of all sciences and respect the reciprocal/interdependent nature that is inherent to most of them. This is more of a statement of my belief that organic chemistry serves as a foundational bedrock for human flourishing in the modern technological world. I would love to hear arguments against that belief. When I was still at university getting my chemistry degree I often debated with the students in the physics department who believed that physics was the foundational bedrock, and I will admit that their arguments were very persuasive.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'the students in the physics department', 'relation': 'often debated with ', 'condition': 'When I was still at university getting my chemistry degree'}]"
254,P0255,1s3kkk6,"When the Dodge brothers won their lawsuit against Ford in 1919, it had the consequence of putting shareholder value above everything else, to the detriment of the country. 
  
  Henry Ford plowed money in to expansion and workers pay, not dividends. Ford stated that worker pay and market share were more important than profit. The Dodge brothers sued, and won, with the courts saying corporations are organized for the profit of their shareholders. 
  
  The decision has been taken too far, and has hurt workers, municipalities and the environment, and helped lead to the rise of activist investors and private equity firms that buy companies, bleed them dry and destroy them. Companies, and company boards have ceded too much power to the investors who only wish to maximize their short-term profit, instead of the long-term financial health of the company. 
  
  
  The decision, among others, has warped the business culture, and we're all worse off because of it.","[{'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'the consequence of putting shareholder value above everything else', 'relation': ' had ', 'condition': 'When the Dodge brothers won their lawsuit against Ford in 1919'}]"
255,P0256,1s3pc2t,"So far 5 senate primaries have finished, with Texas, Arkansas, and Mississsippi producing 3 strong Anti-AIPAC candidates. However, 2 seats already have democratic candidates solidified as more than $250k spent by AIPAC, one of which is currently a democrat held seat in Illinois.
  
  If being anti-AIPAC is your strongest reason to vote or not vote for a democratic candidate in 2026, I strongly encourage you to get out and campaign for whichever democratic challenger is standing up for these ideals. in North Carolina, Roy Cooper (AIPAC) beat the non aipac candidate 92%-2.5% in primaries, so we've already dropped the ball on one. But, the next senate primaries dont happen until May 17th, so there is still time (if youd like to be recommended a candidate comment your state and Ill even do the leg work to figure out which candidates are AIPAC free).
  
  one of the large contributing factors to Kamala and Hillary losing were their AIPAC support, which caused many voters not to turn out. As much as I can understand where they come from, I strongly believe this midterm requires us to elevate other priorities, and continue to further the anti AIPAC agenda after we have guaranteed the elimination of the greater evil.
  
  The strongest thing that could change my view at this point would be overwhelming energy from voters to make sure that as many AIPAC candidates as possible are beaten out by anti-AIPAC candidates in the primary season, such that we dont have to sacrifice either principle; or, somehow an argument that letting Trump and his cabinet run roughshod over the country for another two years would somehow be worse than a democratic AIPAC candidate in charge.
  
  make sure you register, make sure you campaign, and make sure you show up with your friends to support anti-aipac candidates.","[{'e1': 'you ', 'e2': ' whichever democratic challenger is standing up for these ideals', 'relation': 'should campaign for', 'condition': 'If being anti-AIPAC is your strongest reason to vote or not vote for a democratic candidate in 2026'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'which candidates are AIPAC free', 'relation': 'will do the leg work to figure out ', 'condition': 'if youd like to be recommended a candidate'}, {'e1': ' this midterm ', 'e2': 'elevate other priorities', 'relation': 'requires us to ', 'condition': 'after we have guaranteed the elimination of the greater evil.'}, {'e1': ' this midterm ', 'e2': 'further the anti AIPAC agenda ', 'relation': 'requires us to ', 'condition': 'after we have guaranteed the elimination of the greater evil.'}]"
256,P0257,1s3rev8,"I believe the Nobel Foundation should have awarded Donald Trump the Nobel Peace Prize precisely because they knew the kind of psychopathic tendencies he has. By giving him the prize, they would have demonstrated a genuine commitment to peace, prioritizing the prevention of death and destruction, even at the cost of their own reputation, rather than hiding behind slogans, flashy displays, hollow appearances, and empty symbolism. Such an act could have helped avert conflict and war.
  
  Trump himself suggested that he would have caused global chaos if the prize had been withheld. Yet the Foundation did not honor him. In the end, they failed to award it to anyone deserving; the recipient was a figure no better than Trump, someone who even offered her award to trump as a bribe to make her the new dictator of Venezuela.
  
  The Foundation proved that its concern lies not with peace, but with preserving prestige and superficial image.","[{'e1': ' the Nobel Foundation ', 'e2': 'Donald Trump the Nobel Peace Prize ', 'relation': 'should have awarded ', 'condition': 'because they knew the kind of psychopathic tendencies he has'}, {'e1': ' they', 'e2': 'a genuine commitment to peace', 'relation': ' would have demonstrated ', 'condition': 'By giving him the prize'}, {'e1': 'Trump himself ', 'e2': 'he would have caused global chaos ', 'relation': 'suggested that ', 'condition': 'if the prize had been withheld'}]"
257,P0258,1s3tja8,"I always see people mainly men getting called losers or man children for having their parents pay for stuff well into their adult life even when the parents have the money. But I just totally disagree who cares if I’m 45 and my parents still pay my bills if they can afford to help their son it why does it matter? 
  
  Everyone agrees that working most jobs is just a form of corporations taking advantage of you and treating you like a number. The job market sucks and it cost more than ever to live an average life so much so that people aren’t even having kids. 
  
  People are also living with their parents longer anyways, it’s not like it’s uncommon anymore for people in their 20s and up to still be at home. This usually just comes off as jealous to me that those that don’t have parents who can do this want you to struggle like they do or did. Your parents are supposed to provide for you until they no longer can imo,","[{'e1': 'Your parents ', 'e2': 'you ', 'relation': 'are supposed to provide for ', 'condition': 'until they no longer can'}, {'e1': ' your parents ', 'e2': 'the lifelong responsibility of making sure you’re ok.', 'relation': 'would take on ', 'condition': 'if you’re disabled and unable to care for yourself'}]"
258,P0259,1s3zl34,"I know that many people will immediately jump and say how being fat isn’t healthy when people are talking about body positivity. 
  
  I think most fat people know that being fat isn’t healthy and are not arguing for that but are talking about how difficult it is to navigate the world as an obese person, with 99% of clothing brands not making larger clothes than 2XL, narrow seats in public transportation, medical equipment and machines cannot deal with obese people like most MRI machines weight capacity is 120kgs, hospitals and medical facilities don’t have big BP arm wraps.
  
  Only a small amount of the Body Positivity movement really believe that being obese is 100% healthy, but i think the most argue that the world should be more thoughtful and that obese people also navigate this world and will need to use those public transportation and medical equipment. 
  
  Also a comedian said something that really resonated with me “everyone benefits if the world catered more towards fat people, you might not need the extra space in your airplane seats but it’ll surely be comfortable”","[{'e1': 'many people ', 'e2': 'being fat isn’t healthy ', 'relation': 'will immediately jump and say how ', 'condition': 'when people are talking about body positivity. '}]"
259,P0260,1s42xh2,"I want to clarify upfront: I am not defending all Israeli actions, and I acknowledge that Israel has caused civilian casualties, sometimes acts with disproportionate force, and that individual IDF soldiers may commit war crimes. My view is specifically about intentional targeting of civilians as a matter of official policy.
  
  Here’s why I hold this view:
  
  1. Strategic logic: Deliberately targeting civilians would generally be counterproductive to Israel’s military and political objectives. Civilian casualties often lead to international condemnation, damage Israel’s legitimacy, and can fuel further conflict, which is not strategically rational.
  
  2. Operational evidence: The IDF publicly shares warnings, evacuation instructions, and attempts to minimise civilian casualties in some operations. While imperfect, these efforts indicate concern - at least in part - for civilian safety.
  
  3. Distinction between policy and isolated acts: I am aware that individual soldiers may commit violations or even war crimes. I do not deny this. However, my claim is about systematic policies. If there were evidence that Israel as an institution systematically targets civilians, or turns a blind eye to such actions without investigation or punishment, I would consider that compelling evidence to change my view.
  
  4. Difficulty of proving intent: Civilian casualties can and do occur in war. Distinguishing between reckless or disproportionate attacks and deliberate targeting of civilians requires detailed operational knowledge, much of which is not public. I have not seen credible evidence proving intentional targeting as a policy.
  
  5. Moral distinction: I think there’s a meaningful difference between intentionally targeting civilians (grave moral and legal wrongdoing) and using disproportionate force or acting recklessly (morally and legally wrong but context-specific). I am open to evidence that Israel crosses the line from the latter to the former, but I haven’t seen convincing proof.
  
  I’m posting here to invite credible sources, well-reasoned arguments, or evidence that suggest Israel intentionally targets civilians as official policy. I am willing to revise my view if presented with strong evidence.
  
  I am particularly interested in:
  
  • Verified reports or investigations showing systematic targeting of civilians.
  
  • Analysis distinguishing unavoidable collateral damage from deliberate targeting.
  
  • Reliable sources documenting patterns of civilian targeting as official policy, or evidence of institutional tolerance of such acts.
  
  My goal is not to dismiss civilian suffering or avoid criticism of Israel’s military operations; I simply want to understand whether the claim of intentional targeting is supported by evidence.","[{'e1': 'The IDF ', 'e2': 'warnings', 'relation': 'publicly shares ', 'condition': 'in some operations'}, {'e1': 'The IDF ', 'e2': 'evacuation instructions', 'relation': 'publicly shares ', 'condition': 'in some operations'}, {'e1': 'The IDF ', 'e2': 'civilian casualties ', 'relation': 'attempts to minimise ', 'condition': 'in some operations'}]"
260,P0261,1s47btq,"I realize this applies to a small percentage of prisoners. But certain famous or attractive prisoners (such as Jeremy Meeks) attract a number of strangers who they don't particularly want to see. Some more normal prisoners may have loved ones competing to see them. If they have a limited number of visitations per week, then unwanted visitors may count against the time they want with their family, depending on prison policy.
  
  I get that it can't just be a menu at the moment of arrival. But prisoners should have the right to create an approved list of visitors, create a schedule, or appoint someone not incarcerated to make their schedule. If they do one of these, then surprise visits or unapproved visitors should not be allowed visitation and the attempt should not count towards the prisoner's limit.
  
  
  The reason I believe this is that visits are crucial to rehabilitation and also to preserving family connections. If prisoners lose their family visits because a jerk ex wants to keep trying or because random strangers keep wanting to meet them, that's a loss for their family, for the prisoner's rehabilitation, and therefore for society.
  
  CMV","[{'e1': 'unwanted visitors ', 'e2': 'the time they want with their family', 'relation': 'may count against ', 'condition': 'if they have a limited number of visitations per week'}, {'e1': 'unwanted visitors ', 'e2': 'the time they want with their family', 'relation': 'may count against ', 'condition': 'depending on prison policy.'}, {'e1': ' surprise visits or unapproved visitors ', 'e2': 'visitation ', 'relation': 'should not be allowed ', 'condition': 'If they do one of these'}, {'e1': 'the attempt ', 'e2': ""the prisoner's limit."", 'relation': 'should not count towards ', 'condition': 'If they do one of these'}, {'e1': 'that', 'e2': ""their family, for the prisoner's rehabilitation, and therefore for society."", 'relation': ' is a loss for ', 'condition': 'If prisoners lose their family visits because a jerk ex wants to keep trying or because random strangers keep wanting to meet them'}]"
261,P0262,1s4dahz,"Romani are descendants of slaves who were forcibly taken by arab and Turkic tribes and abandoned in Europe. They have been ostracized for centuries. While Romanis have mixed with other races during the span of centuries it is proven that they descended from lower class tribes from India and have persevered and preserved their culture. 
  The way most people even on reddit talk about them is the same way many upper caste(Indo European-Aryan) talk about them. They are treated as untouchable,abused and treated in a dehumanizing way the same way Europeans talk about them and how they are dirty, Robbers and vulgar. Though these stereotypes hold an ounce of truth I dont see how they are any different considering it is true for both of them.
  I didn't even know that they were also targeted during holocaust.","[{'e1': 'Romanis', 'e2': 'other races ', 'relation': ' have mixed with ', 'condition': 'during the span of centuries'}]"
262,P0263,1s4fcle,"CMV: Lifting oil sanctions on Iran without concessions was a strategic blunder and both signals weakness and will prolong the war
  
  For context: the U.S. recently lifted sanctions on Iranian oil, allowing Iran to sell oil directly to American buyers and use the U.S. financial system for payment - something that hasn't been possible since 1995.
  
  This is a clearly a mistake from a policy and negotiating perspective.
  
  1. We gave up a major piece of leverage for nothing in return.
  
  Oil sanctions have been a cornerstone of our strategy toward Iran for decades. Their goal has long been to pressure Iran into concessions on things like nuclear weapons, support for terrorists, and use of the Strait of Hormuz. Lifting them without getting anything in return, even something modest like a Hormuz guarantee, not only weakens our negotiating position, it will prolong the war. We can threaten to reimpose the sanctions, but that threat simply won’t be credible.
  
  2. The decision was driven by domestic politics rather than strategic logic.
  
  The midterms are coming – it they will be about inflation and oil and fertilizer prices. So a valuable, long-term strategic asset was traded away for political gain.
  
  3. It sends a mixed message during an active period of tension.
  
  At a time when the U.S. has been applying military and diplomatic pressure on Iran, simultaneously providing economic relief creates a contradictory posture that is hard to read as strength.
  
  4. It gives Iran the financial muscle to keep fighting
  
  I'm open to being wrong. Possible counterarguments include:
  
  * Is there a strategic benefit I'm missing?
  * Were the sanctions already ineffective?
  * Is there a behind-the-scenes deal that changes the calculus?
  
  CMV.","[{'e1': 'Oil sanctions', 'e2': 'a cornerstone of our strategy toward Iran ', 'relation': ' have been ', 'condition': 'for decades'}, {'e1': 'Lifting the sanctions ', 'e2': ' our negotiating position,', 'relation': 'weakens', 'condition': 'without getting anything in return'}, {'e1': 'Lifting the sanctions ', 'e2': ' the war', 'relation': 'will prolong', 'condition': 'without getting anything in return'}]"
263,P0264,1s4l3rg,"Trump has put the nail in the coffin for his pathetic excuse for a second term. Maybe Vance, Rubio, and Kegsbreath had a chance to salvage their careers prior to this latest disaster in Iran, but now they're done. These sellouts are falling all over themselves to kiss Trump's butt in this latest debacle so they don't have to resign, while Trump says insane geriatric things like ""Iran asked me to take over as their religious leader."" These idiots are all done and have no future in the United States government.","[{'e1': 'Trump ', 'e2': 'the nail in the coffin for his pathetic excuse ', 'relation': 'has put ', 'condition': 'for a second term'}, {'e1': 'Maybe Vance, Rubio, and Kegsbreath ', 'e2': 'their careers ', 'relation': 'had a chance to salvage ', 'condition': 'prior to this latest disaster in Iran'}, {'e1': 'These sellouts ', 'e2': ""Trump's butt "", 'relation': 'are falling all over themselves to kiss ', 'condition': 'in this latest debacle'}, {'e1': 'These sellouts ', 'e2': ""Trump's butt "", 'relation': 'are falling all over themselves to kiss ', 'condition': ""so they don't have to resign""}, {'e1': 'These idiots ', 'e2': ' no future ', 'relation': 'are all done and have', 'condition': 'in the United States government.'}]"
264,P0265,1s4nh3a,"I truly do feel that while the war is a massive mistake we are now in the war and we should be rooting for the Trump to succeed against Iran because they are now our enemy as they have no problem with Americans suffer by raising oil prices when we are struggling to afford anything in this economy as they illegally sized the strait. 
  
  We should want Iran to fail because they have gone too far and I feel too many especially on the left are very happy that Iran is doing well and I feel that is wrong because if Trump loses this war then America loses the war and we will all have to deal with that.
  
  Once again to clarify I am not a partisan I would root for US to win if democrat caused war under the same foolish and illegal circumstances that Trump chose because Americas dominance is far more important than any single president.","[{'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'Trump to succeed against Iran ', 'relation': 'should be rooting for ', 'condition': 'because they are now our enemy'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'Americans suffering', 'relation': 'have no problem with ', 'condition': 'by raising oil prices'}, {'e1': 'We ', 'e2': 'Iran to fail ', 'relation': 'should want ', 'condition': 'because they have gone too far'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'wrong', 'relation': 'feel that is ', 'condition': ' because if Trump loses this war then America loses the war '}, {'e1': 'we all ', 'e2': 'that', 'relation': 'will have to deal with', 'condition': ' because if Trump loses this war then America loses the war '}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'US to win ', 'relation': 'would root for ', 'condition': 'if democrat caused war under the same foolish and illegal circumstances that Trump chose'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'US to win ', 'relation': 'would root for ', 'condition': 'because Americas dominance is far more important than any single president. '}]"
265,P0266,1s4ts3f,"My view is not that the JCPOA was perfect. It wasn’t. My view is that, compared with what came after it, it was clearly the better option. A limited deal that put some constraints on Iran’s nuclear program was better than the current pattern of confrontation, destruction, and open-ended escalation.
  
  I also think a lot of this debate gets muddled because people slide between different questions. Something can be useful for Israeli strategy without being good for the United States, good for ordinary Iranians, or good for global stability. Weakening Iran may serve some Israeli interests. That does not by itself prove that this is a sensible or humane policy more broadly.
  
  What I do not see in the current approach is a believable endgame. If the argument is just that Iran should be punished or weakened, that is one thing. But if the argument is that this pressure will somehow produce a freer, better Iran, I do not find that convincing at all. I do not see a plausible mechanism connecting today’s destruction to that outcome.
  
  That is especially true because I do not think there is any real Syria-style scenario available in Iran. In Syria, there were organized armed groups on the ground, actual military opponents of the regime, territorial challengers, and outside actors willing to back them. In Iran, there is nothing comparable. There is no armed opposition with that kind of structure, capacity, territorial base, or external support. So when people talk as if enough pressure will make the regime crack and some alternative will emerge, I think they are skipping over the most important question: who exactly is supposed to take power, and by what means?
  
  I also think people outside Iran often underestimate how entrenched the regime is. Its power is tied closely to the IRGC and the broader security apparatus. So far there has been no meaningful elite split, no military uprising, no palace coup, no serious fracture that suggests external pressure is close to bringing the whole system down. The idea that the country just needs one more shove strikes me as fantasy.
  
  For similar reasons, I do not find comparisons to Nazi Germany or Imperial Japan persuasive. Those regimes were not remade by pressure alone. They were defeated through total war, occupation, massive reconstruction, and long-term political control. Nobody proposing escalation with Iran is proposing anything remotely like that, and the U.S. public would never support it anyway. So those examples do not show that bombing and pressure are a realistic path to political transformation in Iran.
  
  Ordinary Iranians are also not being helped by this. War, sanctions, and constant escalation do not create the conditions for freedom. They create fear, poverty, repression, and social collapse. The people inside Iran who actually protested the regime were not empowered by this strategy. They were crushed. Many of the people who most wanted change seem to have been left with emigration as the only realistic option.
  
  I also think this kind of pressure tends to harden the regime rather than weaken it politically. A state under siege usually becomes more repressive, more securitized, and more militarized. So even if the stated goal is moderation or liberalization, the likely effect is often the opposite.
  
  The damage does not stop inside Iran either. A wider war is affect shipping, energy, and economic stability across the region and beyond it. Poorer countries would also pay the price through fuel shocks, fertilizer shocks, and broader disruption. So even people who do not care much about Iran itself should care about the wider consequences of this kind of escalation.
  
  One point I want to make very clearly is that I do not think Iran poses a serious direct military threat to the United States homeland. I do not mean merely that the threat is exaggerated. I mean that the claim itself is not very credible. The U.S. can move forces into Iran’s own region and wage war in Iran’s arena. Iran, by contrast, has shown only limited ability to kill Americans even there, in the very region where it should be at its strongest and the U.S. should be operating far from home. If Iran cannot seriously threaten Americans in its own broader theater, while the United States is projecting force directly into that theater, then the idea that it poses some major direct danger to Americans inside the U.S. makes even less sense.
  
  That is why I do not find the broader threat inflation convincing either. Iran does not have the naval, air, or long-range strike capacity needed to be a serious direct military danger to the United States itself. It can be dangerous regionally. It can back proxies. It can create instability. But that is not the same thing as being able to threaten the American homeland in any meaningful military sense.
  
  So my view is basically this: whatever the flaws of the JCPOA, it was better than the current path. The deal at least offered a way to limit the nuclear issue without gambling on fantasies about regime collapse. The alternative has meant more suffering for ordinary Iranians, more risk of regional disaster, and no convincing explanation of how any of this is supposed to end well.
  
  I am open to good faith counterarguments, but to change my view, I would need to see a realistic account of how the current strategy leads to an outcome that is actually better than the deal was.","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': ' the better option', 'relation': 'was clearly', 'condition': 'compared with what came after it'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'convincing ', 'relation': 'do not find that ', 'condition': ' if the argument is that this pressure will somehow produce a freer, better Iran'}]"
266,P0267,1s58z9f,"How’s this for a hot topic?
  
  I am inspired by the “one chip challenge” that lead to the death of a 14 year old boy (according to Wikipedia) 
  
  “Paqui's One Chip Challenge ended in September 2023 when Harris Wolobah, a 14-year-old boy from Worcester, Massachusetts, died a few hours after he took the challenge. Paqui immediately withdrew and discontinued the chips from any further sales and indefinitely stopped publicity for the challenge. The teen's death later led to the chip being withdrawn from sale by Paqui and recalled from stores.”
  
  I think this kind of encapsulated the stupidity and sadness of these kind of performative “spice challenges”
  
  Now I am not saying spice is bad or flavour is bad. I just think that there is an extra level of performative stupidity that we then give an odd level of respect to people who are able to “handle it.”","[{'e1': 'the “one chip challenge” ', 'e2': 'the death of a 14 year old boy ', 'relation': 'led to ', 'condition': 'according to Wikipedia'}]"
267,P0268,1s5e07a,"To me, cemeteries are important, beautiful places, full of love, and are a testament to our human experience of community. I don't remember ever feeling differently, but it has been something that has come up more in the last few years. 
  
  I go for a long evening walk in a cemetery weekly. It's an important routine for me of reflection. I guess I see cemeteries as a sort of well of human love. Like, if you made a heat map showing humans experiencing love vs fear, cemeteries would be these overwhelming nodes of love. To me, my weekly walk is like immersing myself in love, both past and present. Kind of like how I would feel in a church, I guess, if I were religious. 
  
  A few times, I have mentioned to someone where I am going for a walk, or just returned from, when asked and they have responded with a comment that surprises me. Although it does surprise me anymore, I guess. Some comment about being creeped out by cemeteries, that they would be uncomfortable walking there, or that they don't understand cemeteries and they should really just be regular park space instead. The only way I can understand this is that there must be some unresolved trauma in their past. Either they don't understand love enough to understand loving the dead, or they have had a traumatic loss in their past that they still haven't come to terms with. I genuinely just don't understand.
  
  Ways to change my view: 
  
  a) Successfully arguing that being so uncomfortable with death that cemeteries are creepy is a valid and healthy emotional experience. It is not objectively harmful or negative. 
  
  b) Successfully arguing that my emotional experience in cemeteries isn't healthy, and may be an unhealthy way that I myself am processing past grief.
  
  c) Successfully arguing that there cultural influences that I am not seeing or haven't been exposed to. ie some people were raised in a culture that is uncomfortable with cemeteries, so it is normal for them, and not necessarily unhealthy?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a long evening walk ', 'relation': 'go for ', 'condition': 'in a cemetery weekly'}, {'e1': ' cemeteries ', 'e2': 'overwhelming nodes of love', 'relation': 'would be', 'condition': 'if you made a heat map showing humans experiencing love vs fear'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'in a church', 'relation': 'would feel like that', 'condition': 'if I were religious. '}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'I am going for a walk, or just returned from', 'relation': ' have mentioned to someone where ', 'condition': 'when asked'}]"
268,P0269,1s5mpr4,"i'm currently very overweight. I've been overweight for much of my life but I actually got fit for a while before mental illnesses and a lack of care made me gain it all back. The way I was treated during that time is crazily different to at any point in my life and much different to now. Like so starkly that it can't really be anything but the weight; it's the only thing about me that's changed. 
  
  When I was thin, people were sooo much nicer and open to me than when I'm fat. You get smiles on the street from passerby, people laughing at unfunny jokes, people looking to know you better, being polite and kind. But worst of all is that you get the benefit of the doubt. If you make a social faux pas, it's much more likely people will give you a pass. People are much ruder and less forgiving when you're fat. They dislike you for no reason, often openly.
  
  i know this is my personal experience and thus there are gonna be people doubting me and screaming confirmation bias. But having seesawed in weight these past couple years, I was stunned by how much better I've been treated thin than when I'm fat. I thought I was imagining things, but when the weight got put back on, the world became a much colder place. 
  
  Fat people are devalued everywhere. I mean disliking fat people is an oft repeated topic on this sub. We're lambasted as lazy and wastes of space. People snicker at us as we walk past and I've even been pointed at and laughed at. We're the butt of every joke. Almost all of us deal with mental health issues and low self-esteem. It just seems to me that the world treats fat people like shit.","[{'e1': 'people ', 'e2': 'nicer and open to me', 'relation': 'were sooo much ', 'condition': 'When I was thin'}, {'e1': 'people ', 'e2': 'a pass', 'relation': 'will give you ', 'condition': 'If you make a social faux pas'}, {'e1': 'People ', 'e2': 'much ruder ', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': ""when you're fat""}, {'e1': 'People ', 'e2': 'less forgiving ', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': ""when you're fat""}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ""how much better I've been treated thin than when I'm fat"", 'relation': 'was stunned by ', 'condition': ' having seesawed in weight these past couple years'}, {'e1': ' the world ', 'e2': 'a much colder place. ', 'relation': 'became ', 'condition': 'when the weight got put back on'}, {'e1': 'People ', 'e2': ' us ', 'relation': 'snicker at', 'condition': 'as we walk past'}]"
269,P0270,1s5t4lk,"""An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."" Pure nonsense! Lol
  
  I'm truly looking for someone to change my view here. I'm a recently converted Catholic and I'm supposed to embrace forgiveness and love my enemies, but I just DO NOT GET IT.
  
  My whole life, other people have thought I am a vindictive psycho. But here's my problem: the idea of letting something go and moving on makes ZERO sense to me.
  
  Why does someone get to wrong me and get away with it? How on Earth does it make the world a better place to let people do shitty things and then ""move on,"" or whatever?
  
  In my view, if someone does something wrong to you, they have flagged themselves for PvP. They do not get to decide if, when, or how it ends.
  
  Some people say that revenge or resentment hurts you more than the target of your ire. I'd say letting people get away with wronging you is worse. When I think of the people who have done bad things to me and I ""took the high road,"" it makes me sick. The thing that makes me angry is the unfairness and lack of resolution for myself. Contrast that with how I feel about people I've ""gotten even"" with: I either never think of them or I think of them fondly. I was able to achieve justice and satisfaction for myself, so there is nothing to feel bad about anymore.
  
  Most of the arguments against my line of thinking boil down to meaningless platitudes, like the one I opened with, but I'll address a couple common counterarguments below.
  
  1) Proportionality - if we all got to decide the punishment / consequences for the people that wronged us, you'd have disproportionate responses.
  
  This one is hard for me to understand, because the aggrieved party is the only person who knows the full scope of the impact of the aggressor's actions. How can an uninvolved 3rd party possibly decide an appropriate consequence if they did not personally experience the situation? I also believe that the vast majority of humans are not innately cruel, and most would not revel in torturing someone over a minor infraction. 
  
  2) Holding on to resentment is harmful to you - every minute that you are angry with a person is more harm being done to you, but you're the one harming yourself.
  
  As I stated above, the best way to let go of resentment is to get vengence. The only people I still have anger towards are the people who faced inadequate consequences for harming me. I have zero resentment for the people that I absolutely scortched after they upset me. Frankly, I wish some of them well!
  
  So, what am I missing? I've tried to rein in my vindictiveness since becoming a Catholic, but it's making me MISERABLE. Other than doing it just because Jesus told me to, I have zero rational explanation for why the system of turning the other cheek and letting go will make the world a better place or make me any happier. Seems to me we should operate more under, ""Thou shalt not start something, and there shall not be anything."" Someone explain this to me and change my view.","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': ' forgiveness and love my enemies', 'relation': 'am supposed to embrace', 'condition': 'as a recently converted Catholic'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'themselves for PvP', 'relation': 'have flagged ', 'condition': 'if someone does something wrong to you'}, {'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'me sick', 'relation': 'makes ', 'condition': 'When I think of the people who have done bad things to me and I ""took the high road""'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'disproportionate responses', 'relation': 'would have ', 'condition': 'if we all got to decide the punishment / consequences for the people that wronged us'}, {'e1': 'most ', 'e2': 'torturing someone', 'relation': 'would not revel in ', 'condition': ' over a minor infraction. '}, {'e1': ' more harm ', 'e2': 'you', 'relation': 'is being done to ', 'condition': 'every minute that you are angry with a person'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'zero resentment ', 'relation': 'have ', 'condition': 'for the people that I absolutely scortched after they upset me'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'my vindictiveness ', 'relation': 'have tried to rein in ', 'condition': 'since becoming a Catholic'}]"
270,P0271,1s5udli,"EDIT: It is no longer Friday so it's not fresh topic Friday.
  
  Lot's of people are worried the United States might become a dictatorship. The sad reality is that Democracy has already ended.
  
  Klitgaard explains corruption equals monopoly plus discretion minus accountability, or more simply just discretion minus challengers. So without knowing anything, you know a government is corrupt if there's no challengers to it.
  
  Trump and his constituents have controlled the Federal government for the past few decades. Choosing judges, setting precedents, carrying out election law. They put up a circus about fighting eachother but that all ends when it's no longer necessary.
  
  It's 2026 and requiring voter ID is optional for congress. They are openly creating fake protest groups, only propping up their assets in both primaries, and conducting aggressive censorship to prop up the recent Iran ""war,"" which exists for no reason. Items like match fixing in Federal elections, election audits, if they even pretend to conduct them, are carried out by their friends. There is open bribery and insider trading supported by the DOJ.
  
  If you talk to the average American, they still think team red/blue are going to come save the day by turning abortion on/off and continuing Bush's policies for another 8 years. They watch people like Feuntes, Pakman or other sources who are confirmed to have been on Israeli payroll for years. The fact that both Vance and Newsom are owned by Israel and will put up the fifth Bush presidency doesn't exist in their minds at all.
  
  The Fed is under zero pressure to put up real elections. They get to hand pick their successors, their own auditors, their prosecutors, their judges: So the discussion as to whether there will be a real election in 2028 has already been decided: It's not going to happen. It's more likely the United States gets nuked than 2028 is a real election.","[{'e1': ' a government ', 'e2': 'corrupt', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': ""if there's no challengers to it.""}, {'e1': 'Trump and his constituents ', 'e2': 'the Federal government ', 'relation': 'have controlled ', 'condition': 'for the past few decades'}, {'e1': ' requiring voter ID ', 'e2': ' for congress', 'relation': 'is optional', 'condition': 'in 2026'}, {'e1': 'they', 'e2': 'aggressive censorship ', 'relation': ' are conducting ', 'condition': 'to prop up the recent Iran war'}, {'e1': 'election audits', 'e2': 'their friends', 'relation': 'are carried out by', 'condition': 'if they even pretend to conduct them'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'team red/blue are going to come save the day', 'relation': 'still think ', 'condition': 'If you talk to the average American'}, {'e1': 'the average American ', 'e2': 'team red/blue are going to come save the day ', 'relation': 'still thinks ', 'condition': 'by turning abortion on/off '}, {'e1': 'the average American ', 'e2': 'team red/blue are going to come save the day ', 'relation': 'still thinks ', 'condition': ""by continuing Bush's policies for another 8 years""}]"
271,P0272,1s5yy7g,"I'll preface by saying that i am not a trump guy and pulte is awful enough on his own.
  
  That said: the pearl clutching about 50 year mortgages is unnecessary.
  
  1. These mortgages are opt in, no one will be required to take them over a 15 or 30 year loan. Moreover, the added expenses are clear at their face: you cant hide higher fixed rates and the extended term is right there in the name.
  2. The usual objections are founded in a lack of understanding of how future cash flows are valued in present day terms. Yes, total interest paid will be a big number - but if you arent discounting that to present value, you are compare apples and oranges in a very very misleading way. And yes, there will be a premium for longer term mortgages even in present value terms to cover additional risks the lender takes on with longer terms.
  3. There very well could be families for whom the lower monthly payments make home ownership a reality sooner. Not, you know, a \*lot\* of families... but could be some.
  4. Refinancing is an option. No one is making you hold onto that mortgage for 50 years.
  
  I havent really seen an argument against 50 year mortgages as an option besides the misguided arguments about lifetime interest paid.
  
  Reminder, my stance is that 50 year mortgages are at worst ineffective - i am not making the argument that they will move the needle on home ownership rates or affordability in a meaningful way.
  
  My mind would be changed by evidence of harm to borrowers or arguments that this would make home ownership less affordable for families overall. 
  
  
  \*\*edit\*\* any citations on increased prices from demand subsidies that dont come with higher ownership rates? genuinely looking for a delta there \*\*/edit\*\*","[{'e1': ' no one ', 'e2': 'these mortgage loans', 'relation': 'will be required to take ', 'condition': 'over a 15 or 30 year loan'}, {'e1': 'The usual objections ', 'e2': 'a lack of understanding ', 'relation': 'are founded in ', 'condition': 'of how future cash flows are valued in present day terms'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'apples and oranges ', 'relation': 'are comparing ', 'condition': 'if you arent discounting that to present value'}, {'e1': ' the lender', 'e2': ' additional risks', 'relation': ' takes on ', 'condition': 'with longer terms.'}, {'e1': ' 50 year mortgages ', 'e2': 'ineffective', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'at worst'}, {'e1': 'they ', 'e2': 'home ownership rates or affordability ', 'relation': 'will move the needle on ', 'condition': 'in a meaningful way.'}]"
272,P0273,1s624x1,"Everyone Should Have Access to Hormones in mid\~late life, NOT CLICKBAIT I AM A DOCTOR.
  
  I will make this brief, I am an addiction medicine physician as well as a general internist. having trained within the last 20 years, it was taught to me as it was taught to all women that even though the use of hormone replacement therapy at menopause brought a lot of benefits, from sleep to mood to strength... it also carried a statistically significant risk. There are breast cancer cells that have estrogen and progesterone receptors on the surface, and giving those women hormones was like feeding the cancer. when I was in primary care, the limit of my prescribing of hormones was usually topical for older women for what should be obvious reasons, as well as continuing some trans individual therapies for patients who are adults that I inherited. I don't take care of teenagers or children. 
  
  when I became an addiction specialist, I realized that medicine had left addiction far behind in the wilds of behavioral care. although there are many side effects of drugs, too many to count, one of the biggest and least talked about is secondary hypogonadism. that is to say if you take potent opioids for a long time, you will suppress your ability to make sex hormones. now for women, this isn't such a big deal, as we are primed to go through menopause. if we notice, we notice moodiness, weight gain, etc. 
  
  but for men, I have to say I feel terrible as a female physician that this is happening All over America with suboxone clinics and rehabs that don't have medical providers running them, and a lot of people stay on Suboxone or Sublocade for their treatment for very long periods of time. that means they're testosterone is slowly dropping over the decades, leaving men open to shrinkage, osteoporosis, and a lot of the aging and damaging disease states such as muscle and protein loss and bone breakage that women typically suffer from. 
  
  as I'm heading into private practice, I intend to correct this directly. I will take classes and refresh my endocrinology so that I feel secure in prescribing hormones. I will have a waiver. I will talk about the risks including cancer. what I will not do as some of you are thinking is accidentally create a trans army. the amount of hormones needed to change someone hormonally is significantly higher than most replacement. how I feel about trans is a separate conversation. 
  
  CMV: I propose that men and women with low sex hormones be given the opportunity to have replacement, especially guys as they can't survive without T. This should be a simple visit, repeated lab draws, and cheap. We are living longer, we need higher quality lives. actually I just caught myself, I wrote low above as if a lab value has significant clinical impact in this field. it does on the upper end of the spectrum. Testosterone at very high levels can do unimaginable damage. estrogen is capable of clotting your blood. but I firmly believe that vitamin science is nonsense, and if you really want to be able to utilize the same amount of protein, vitamin d, vitamin c, calcium, phosphorus as you did in your youth, you need hormonal assistance to do it.
  
  the specific change is that modern medicine teaches that hormonal use except in diagnosed disease states is the wrong thing to do, for the side effects as well as the lack of knowledge on the part of a unfamiliar prescriber. maybe I have just become a narcissist, but I think I can do it.","[{'e1': 'the limit of my prescribing of hormones ', 'e2': 'topical ', 'relation': 'was usually ', 'condition': 'for older women'}, {'e1': 'the limit of my prescribing of hormones ', 'e2': 'topical for older women', 'relation': 'was usually ', 'condition': 'when I was in primary care'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'medicine had left addiction far behind in the wilds of behavioral care', 'relation': 'realized that ', 'condition': 'when I became an addiction specialist'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'your ability to make sex hormones', 'relation': 'will suppress ', 'condition': 'if you take potent opioids for a long time'}, {'e1': 'this ', 'e2': 'a big deal ', 'relation': ""isn't such "", 'condition': 'for women'}, {'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'menopause', 'relation': 'are primed to go through ', 'condition': 'for women'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'moodiness, weight gain', 'relation': 'notice ', 'condition': 'if we notice'}, {'e1': 'a lot of people ', 'e2': 'Suboxone or Sublocade ', 'relation': 'stay on ', 'condition': 'for their treatment for very long periods of time'}, {'e1': ' men ', 'e2': ' shrinkage, osteoporosis', 'relation': 'are open to', 'condition': 'when their testosterone is slowly dropping over the decades'}, {'e1': 'Testosterone ', 'e2': 'unimaginable damage', 'relation': 'can do ', 'condition': 'at very high levels'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'hormonal assistance', 'relation': 'need ', 'condition': 'if you really want to be able to utilize the same amount of protein, vitamin d, vitamin c, calcium, phosphorus as you did in your youth'}, {'e1': 'medicine ', 'e2': 'hormonal use except in diagnosed disease states is the wrong thing to do', 'relation': 'teaches that ', 'condition': 'for the side effects as well as the lack of knowledge on the part of a unfamiliar prescriber'}]"
273,P0274,1s62hcr,"I believe cycling or running is better option than going to the gym for most people.
  
  You can cycle to and from work, so your workout become part of that routine. You also get fresh air when cycling or running.
  
  Whereas for gym, you stand, sit or lie down on machine or other thing - and remain there, not going anywhere. It looks is so stiff and stale. 
  
  also, many gyms are unhygienic and gross when you think about it. Sweat, dirty equipment if the staff do not clean properly.
  
  Gyms also feel sooo boring. You are moving but not going anywhere. I think many gym bros end up looking stiff and big, like they can not move properly. 
  
  
  
  So, cycling or running seem better option. It become more effective and more fun.
  
  
  
  Can you try change my view?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'cycling or running is better option than going to the gym ', 'relation': 'believe ', 'condition': 'for most people.'}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'fresh air ', 'relation': 'also get ', 'condition': 'when cycling or running.'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'machine or other thing', 'relation': 'stand, sit or lie down on ', 'condition': 'for gym'}, {'e1': 'many gyms ', 'e2': 'unhygienic and gross ', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': ' if the staff do not clean properly.'}]"
274,P0275,1s62rvr,"I’m not saying that people shouldn’t protest nor that protests are pointless, just that \*this\* particular form of protest is meaningless, weird in a very performative way and probably damaging to its own goal.
  
  Trump isn’t the problem, he is the scapegoat on which blame all the “democracy” problems. When I see people talking about him as he is a king, forgetting that even kings didn’t wield unlimited power, and that, taking a much more recent example, not even Mussolini had unlimited power, I dread what will come after: are people forgetting that the Republican Party isn’t held at gunpoint, instead allowing him to do whatever he pleases again and again because they literally earn from it? Or that corporations, through lobbying and the aberration that is “citizen united”, are spending billions into altering the political landscape of America? That, as far as I know, the major journals and TV stations are owned by billionaires that \*surely\* love democracy? 
  
  So I wonder what people truly think with these protests that, so far, have informed nobody — his own approval rate is 41% which is horrifyingly high, and the loss are all his doing — but instead blame everything on a senile man that wouldn’t even be there if it weren’t for lobbying and sheer propaganda, and all of this will stay even if “the king” is gone (and then you should fear if a smarter, quieter puppet takes his place).
  
  And seeing people all happy that they did their part and vented their rage against “the regime”, without accomplishing anything, makes me think of both The Invincibles 2 and the weird corposlop “we won against capitalism” take and the minute of rage of 1984 in which people blamed Goldstein for all their problems without actually seeing the real problem","[{'e1': 'Trump ', 'e2': 'the scapegoat ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'on which blame all the “democracy” problems'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'what will come after', 'relation': 'dread ', 'condition': 'When I see people talking about him as he is a king'}, {'e1': 'the Republican Party', 'e2': 'him to do whatever he pleases again and again ', 'relation': ' allows ', 'condition': 'because they literally earn from it'}, {'e1': 'corporations', 'e2': 'billions', 'relation': ' are spending ', 'condition': 'through lobbying and the aberration that is “citizen united”'}, {'e1': 'corporations', 'e2': 'billions', 'relation': ' are spending ', 'condition': ' into altering the political landscape of America'}]"
275,P0276,1s66co0,"I have rejected (romantically, or simply socially) quite a few people (men and women) over this:
  
  * A woman with whom I recently considered we might become friends started talking to me how mysogynist an author is for having a woman in the story falsely accuse a man of r\*pe, as well as telling me that most men would cheat on their wife
  * An old guy friend of mine who would annoy me with constant ""women don't know what they want"" types of conversations
  * Guys who complain about feminism
  * A woman who I went out with a couple times who made fun of me by saying ""yeah, a man's life is very difficult. did you have an annoying morning boner today?""
  
  A person who tries to start telling you how horrible a gender is needs therapy","[{'e1': ' an author ', 'e2': 'mysogynist', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'for having a woman in the story falsely accuse a man of r\\*pe'}]"
276,P0277,1s69m2p,"Hello! I wanted to extend an invention for discussion and a good-faith debate on this topic. I'm welcome to change or update my perspective and views. I have three daughters whom I hope to pass on a world which can openly discuss gender stereotypes.
  
  This debate was started on another subreddit: r/slowcooking 
  
  I will link to the thread in the comments. 
  
  But first I want to provide my opinion. I totally agree with and understand that historically the idea of a husband buying their wife a cooking appliance could look something like this:
  
  
  Wife to husband - I'd like a new/replacement appliance. Ours is not suitable/broken.
  
  
  Husband to wife - Of course. 
  
  
  Weeks or months pass and nothing happens. Then on wife's birthday, there at the table is a box with requested device. 
  
  
  Personally, this stereotype is old enough that I remember understanding this was a terrible idea since childhood (36 years old), though I completely understand that there are men out there which would prescribe to this exact scenario. 
  
  
  My wife would be happy to have a buyitforlife appliance to replace something dated and cheap. We are old enough now to buy each other these gifts, and request them for our birthdays and holidays. 
  
  I have to admit, I personally need to consider long lasting stereotypes more carefully before discussing anything, in the real world but especially on the internet. ​​
  
  I added a bit of context before asking the sub a question about picking a new slowcooker. Percentage wise, most replies were warnings that a slowcooker is a bad gift, because of this stereotype. I hadn't even considered it before posting. I come from a family that was progressive. My wife and I are also progressive. Not providing the right context is my mistake. It was thoughtless. 
  
  In a world were so many woman are still living with this every day, I apologize and I hope that in the future, you won't have to. 
  
  Now I have plenty more to share, but this is a good start. Can a husband buy their wife an appliance for their birthday? Let's discuss. ​
  
  Edit for Community Rules (Specifics about my opinion): I should be able to buy my wife an appliance like a slowcooker, because I know she would greatly appreciate it. A good husband with a healthy relationship with their wife should be able to identify if an action like this would fall under the stated gender stereotype, or not. An appliance does not automatically imply a contract. Although the appliance in this case is a tool which serves the whole family, it is effectively an upgrade which would help her be less anxious about over cooking a meal (new cooker would have a timer to auto shutoff). To her, this sort of thoughtful gift improves her day/life and anxieties. It proves to her that I am aware of her feelings and bought a product which delivers a solution to ease her stress. 
  
  For more context, this was a last minute addition to her birthday gifts. Which includes a humming bird feeder, Pokopia, and a 90 minute professional deep tissue massage at her favorite spa. 
  
  The birthday gift happened to be good timing. It was a week after burning a meal in our slowcooker without a timer. 
  
  As an exclusive present, I think a slowcooker wouldn't be a good choice, even for us. She's passionate about cooking and slowcooking is a new avenue after having our third child. Its easier to cook meals without watching them. She experiments with new recipes at least a couple of times a month. But even still, if its all I got her I feel like it would be awkward. 
  
  As an addition to her birthday gifts, I feel as though it's totally suitable as a pleasant surprise. 
  
  I should also say, I spoke to my wife before buying the slowcooker because of the concerns brought up in the OG thread. She affirmed my opinion. She thought it was a thoughtful gift idea and disagreed with the opinion that a wife can't receive an appliance for their birthday. (Of course, it was no longer a surprise gift)
  
  https://www.reddit.com/r/slowcooking/comments/1ryxpj1/comment/ocztw5y/?context=1","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'this was a terrible idea ', 'relation': 'remember understanding ', 'condition': 'since childhood'}]"
277,P0278,1s6ayt6,"I think disinformation is the single greatest issue facing modern society. To help curb this, I propose the following law:
  
  >When speaking to the public, the speaker has a duty of candor and honesty. Anyone who, when speaking to the broader public, intentionally and materially misrepresents, fabricates, or distorts matters of objective fact for the purposes of misleading or implanting false information in the public consciousness will be compelled to issue a public retraction of those statements and may be subject to fines and up to 3 years in prison. Refusal to issue a retraction will incur additional penalties. 
  Speaking to the public is defined as knowingly making statements in a manner or forum which has no discrete and discernable target, or one that may be accessed by an arbitrary number of people.
  
  This captures *anyone* who intentionally lies. Social media, television, radio, podcast, Reddit post, whatever. Obviously we wouldn't be able to prosecute even 1% of people who break this law, but just having it on the books and using it against the worst offenders will go a long way towards a chilling effect on disinformation.
  
  The ""for the purposes of misleading or implanting false information in the public consciousness"" carveout is to protect things like satire or entertainment, as the purpose is not to actually cause people to believe things that aren't true. Being wrong is not enough to be illegal, it is the *intentional* wrongness that matters. So if there is evidence that you knew at the time you made the statement that it was not true, or it is otherwise beyond a reasonable doubt that you could not have believed the statement was true.
  
  The question that always comes up is ""Who decides what is true?"" The answer is the same as any other crime. The prosecution will make the case that the statement is a matter of objective fact, the statement is not true, the defendant made the statement knowing it was false, and he was aware he was speaking in a public forum, and the defense will argue against one or all of these points. And a jury (or a judge if you're under a civil law system) will decide one way or the other.
  
  I invite you to convince me that this is a bad idea.","[{'e1': ' the speaker ', 'e2': 'a duty of candor and honesty', 'relation': 'has ', 'condition': 'When speaking to the public'}, {'e1': 'Anyone ', 'e2': 'a public retraction of those statements ', 'relation': 'will be compelled to issue ', 'condition': 'when speaking to the broader public, intentionally and materially misrepresents, fabricates, or distorts matters of objective fact for the purposes of misleading or implanting false information in the public consciousness'}, {'e1': 'Anyone ', 'e2': 'fines and up to 3 years in prison', 'relation': 'may be subject to ', 'condition': 'when speaking to the broader public, intentionally and materially misrepresents, fabricates, or distorts matters of objective fact for the purposes of misleading or implanting false information in the public consciousness'}, {'e1': 'speaking to the public', 'e2': 'knowingly making statements', 'relation': 'is defined as', 'condition': 'in a manner or forum with no discrete and discernable target'}, {'e1': 'speaking to the public', 'e2': 'knowingly making statements', 'relation': 'is defined as', 'condition': 'in a manner or forum that may be accessed by an arbitrary number of people'}]"
278,P0279,1s6lpw2,"Movies, Video games, Tv shows, they evolve over time in quality, storyline, tone, and art direction. People love to praise and recommend old media when it is simply subpar compared to current media in my opinion.
  
  No one is gonna watch a 1973 movie you recommended, its 2026 and people really recommend movies older than people's parents! 
  Just because you watched a movie growing up or your dad used to watch it with you when you were little does not make it good, thats the nostalgia blinding you. If you take an impartial person from this current day and age, sit them in front of a screen and tell them watch it without any other input from people they will say it is NOT good. 
  
  A big reason why people like movies or shows or games that are old is because they are driven by social pressure. ""Skyrim is an amazing game and one of the best rpgs"" - repeated by thousands of people (Who are clearly nostalgic to it), so when billy plays skyrim and finds it terrible, he has to bow down and submit to the masses and agree because if he doesn't he will be bombarded with hate calling him uncultured and tiktok brained.
  
  An example i want to give starting off is for Movies, more particularly Dawn of the Dead. 
  The 1978 movie is praised every single time someone brings up the movie series. i watched it and it is laughable, terrible camera quality, terrible sound effects, the zombies look like something i can personally make if i went to party city with $45. I'm sure at the time it was great but here's the thing, today it is NOT. The 2004 movie remake is like 5 tiers above it, story telling, scariness, makeup artists, music, honestly great movie altogether. 
  People seriously try to say the 1978 movie is better with a straight face. How can i sit there and truthfully say that the 1978 movie even comes close when it looks like subpar to something i can make on an iphone 13?
  
  The next example i have is video games, Fallout New vegas. 
  Man this one really got to me, the game is NOT GOOD and can not even touch fallout 4. 
  mediocre story, visually unappealing even for it's time, buggy, glitchy, no character voice. 
  Fallout 4 on the other hand is everything that fallout new vegas isnt, its actually good. 
  I forced myself to play new vegas after 5 hours of optimizing to make it even run on my pc, just for a subpar storyline, mediocre choices and just terrible gameplay. from someone who played both at an insignificant time in life with no nostalgia factor i can not imagine liking it's predecessor.
  
  i guess at the time it was probably impressive, however people and things evolve and things that were once mind blowing are just not some years later. the same way that if you show someone from the 1500s Europe a black and white tv they would jump for joy and start praying to the saints. Just like how if you show someone from the 1980s an iphone 7 it would be Otherworldly.
  
  I Sincerely understand paying respect to old media that were the pioneers of a genre but i just cant shake the fact that it seems mediocre in every way to the current stuff. can you cmv?","[{'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'it is NOT good. ', 'relation': 'will say ', 'condition': 'If you take an impartial person from this current day and age, sit them in front of a screen and tell them watch it without any other input from people'}, {'e1': ' people', 'e2': 'movies or shows or games that are old ', 'relation': ' like ', 'condition': 'because they are driven by social pressure'}, {'e1': 'the zombies ', 'e2': 'something i can personally make ', 'relation': 'look like ', 'condition': 'if i went to party city with $45'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'new vegas ', 'relation': 'forced myself to play ', 'condition': 'after 5 hours of optimizing to make it even run on my pc'}, {'e1': ' an iphone 7 ', 'e2': 'Otherworldly', 'relation': 'would be', 'condition': ' if you show someone from the 1980s'}]"
279,P0280,1s6m0lj,"I'll start by saying I am not a HP maniac or anything like that. As an elder millennial I read the books, thoroughly enjoyed them, watched some of the films and moderately enjoyed parts of them, and then more or less forgot or left aside Harry Potter and his universe.
  
  So, I wouldn't say I am super excited about the upcoming HBO adaptation and am not inclined to defend it to the hilt as some kind of HP stan. 
  
  That said, I am concerned by the rhetoric surrounding Paapa Essiedu taking up the role of Professor Snape, in this upcoming series. 
  
  I don't really care about the sole issue of race swapping, or the actor not matching physical descriptions outlined in the books (pale, greasy, sallow etc). It doesn't really matter, as long as the actor does a good job in the role (although, let's be very clear of all the shoes to fill, I think Alan Rickman's are some of the biggest)
  
  More than that though, I just don't get the arguments that having a Black actor portray a cruel, cold hearted, rude and frequently unfair teacher is inherently problematic. Are Black actors not allowed to play \*villains\* anymore? Why would such a limitation be placed on their careers and creative freedom?
  
  I do concede that upcoming scenes when Prisoner of Azkaban is made may have some issues, with the writers needing to establish that James and Sirius are not bullying Snape because he's Black, somewhat.
  
  But as (I believe) the series is set in the 90s, it isn't completely beyond the pale is imagine some racial bullying going on in an exclusive, UK boarding school (back in the 80s or 70s presumably, to have James and Sirius as schoolboys)
  
  
  Overall, all these 'problematic issues' being discussed online reek of American race obsession and should not be brought into a UK work of art, within a time period and context that Americans don't really understand. Probably, mostly, it is just part of the hate train against JK Rowling and desperation to link any kind of prejudice or out of date attitudes to her work.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the books', 'relation': 'read ', 'condition': 'As an elder millennial '}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the films', 'relation': 'watched some of ', 'condition': 'As an elder millennial '}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'the rhetoric surrounding Paapa Essiedu taking up the role of Professor Snape', 'relation': 'am concerned by ', 'condition': ' in this upcoming series. '}, {'e1': ' upcoming scenes', 'e2': 'some issues', 'relation': ' may have ', 'condition': 'when Prisoner of Azkaban is made '}]"
280,P0281,1s6uuyu,"(As a friendly content warning: this post will make for entirely grim reading, so if you're looking to enjoy your Sunday afternoon in peace, you may wish to look elsewhere!)
  
  
  
  Described by his contemporaries as squat, loud, even jovial - he was also, with no exaggeration, a raving fascist.
  
  As the head of his political party, the Myochit (quite literally translated as ""Love of race""), U Saw founded his own violent paramilitary movement explicitly modelled on Mussolini's blackshirts, before setting out to rid Burma of all Indian immigrants, who he perceived to be at the root of all his nations' problems.
  
  That same year, he took advantage of an oil worker's strike to distribute pamphlets depicting a sneering Muslim migrant proclaiming Islam's superiority over Buddhism, with the title reading:
  
  ""BHUDDISM HAS BEEN INSULTED. TAKE IMMEDIATE STEPS"".
  
  The result would be bloodshed on an unimaginable scale. To quote my source in full:
  
  ""The ensuring pogroms were the largest in Burma's recorded history, engulfing every major city, killing hundreds of people, injuring thousands, and damaging 204 million rupees' worth of property...authorities were forced to ban public gatherings of more than 5 people, and soon armed escorts were evacuating Indian families from Burmese majority neighbourhoods....the killings continued until September, when administrators were forced to lock down the whole of Rangoon. Colonial officials noted that religious and racial riots seemed to erupt in the countryside **wherever issues of U Saw's newspaper, the Thuriya, were distributed""** (Shattered lands - pg. 53)
  
  Now, it would be reductive to the point of absurdity to blame all this violence entirely on the publication of a newspaper - nothing in history is ever monocausal - but I do sometimes wonder to myself:
  
  If his papers alone could intesify sectarian passions to such a degree - what might U Saw have been able to achieve if he had access to Twitter?
  
  It doesn't take much for humans to turn on each other - and whenever I open my own social media feeds, or consult the news about social media's impact elsewhere, all I see is hatred, malice, and misinformation on an incomprehensible scale.
  
  All over the world, although never the main or sole culprit, social media more than does its part in fanning the flames of our worst impulses - often with devastating results.
  
  In modern Burma, [Facebook has played an oversized role in the enabling of genocidal violence against the Rohingya, ](https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2022/09/myanmar-facebooks-systems-promoted-violence-against-rohingya-meta-owes-reparations-new-report/)whilst in Ethiopia, [social media has again been weaponised in the pursuit of sectarian goals.](https://edition.cnn.com/2021/10/25/business/ethiopia-violence-facebook-papers-cmd-intl/index.html) The same is true [of Lebanon,](https://www.lse.ac.uk/geography-and-environment/research/social-media-and-crisis-of-urban-inequality-blog/fanning-the-flames-how-misinformation-on-social-media-exacerbates-community-tensions) of [Bangladesh, ](https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2026/03/bangladesh-metas-content-moderation-delays-risk-fuelling-real-world-violence/)\- on and on I could go, for there is barely a country in the world free of this malign plague. Indeed, although I can no longer find the exact source, I recall reading somewhere that ***more than 10% of all social media posts*** made across all online platforms in Jordan carry some kind of sectarian bent.
  
  Nor is such sentiment confined to the non-Western world; lest anyone reading this from London or Washington become too comfortable, the spitting malice which drives men to madness elsewhere is very much taking root here.
  
  [Social media posts were, after all, labelled a ""Central accelerant"" ](https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/23/leicester-hindu-muslim-clashes-2022-inquiry-report)of rioting between Muslim and Hindu communities in the English city of Leicester back in 2022; the same was true of the far right rioting which followed the horrific murder of several young girls by Axel Rubakanda in Southport two years later (news spread rapidly that he was a recent illegal migrant ""Fresh off the boat"" from Dover - in fact he was the child of Rwandan migrants who settled here in the early 2000s).
  
  Online, fake news is rampant (up to [20% of all videos about any given trending news topic made on TikTok contain some kind of misinformation](https://www.newsguardtech.com/misinformation-monitor/september-2022/)), outrage [is the premium currency, ](https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2025/12/rage-bait-explained-oxford-word-year)and [hostility towards the ""out group"" is perhaps the most effective means of driving engagement.](https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2024292118) Hell, open your Twitter feed now - search for any ethnic, racial, political, gendered, social, ANY other group you can imagine, and immerse yourself in being told by tens of thousands of people from all over the world exactly why ""You simply don't hate that group enough"". I mean, good grief, although this may seem like an absurd example next to the grievous mob violence noted above - young people online gleefully doxx, harass, and send death threats to each other ***over differences of opinion on whether or not it is okay to write romantic fiction about particular pairs of entirely fictional characters***. If even something as trivial as that whips us into a frenzy; what hope do we have when even greater tensions come into play?
  
  At this point, I must stress:
  
  My argument here is -not- that social media creates these sectarian tensions: [humans from across the globe have been tearing each other apart on ethnic lines long before even the printing press.](https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/the-cambridge-world-history-of-genocide/1F6311D1DC9897A907446592ED627D77) Nor is it that they would not be happening without it - I am painfully aware that, for all the role of social media in inflaming global tensions, there are incalculable other factors pouring into the wicked concoction behind all of them.
  
  Ironic as it may seem, for all I have said here, I do not believe that social media is entirely harmful, nor is my view that it should be banned or overly regulated. I fully admit, am far from enlightened enough to propose a solution, and I am quite sure I too have seethed against the outgroup online from time to time.
  
  My argument, and the view I seek to have changed, is simply this:
  
  Social media has become a megaphone which amplifies humanity's (yes, ***all*** humanity's, lest anyone in the comments attempt to place the blame one group of people in particular) most toxic tribalistic impulses. It will continue to magnify and intensify those impulses, leading to ever greater suspicion of the out group, perhaps even encouraging violence against them, to the point where social cohesion becomes almost entirely impossible. Society may not collapse into an outright orgy of the Purge style bloodletting, but it will become increasingly paranoid, fractious, and hostile, to the point where cohesion outside of relatively small, insular communities becomes nigh on impossible. 
  
  Please god, change my view, for at present I am a man at the end of his tether, looking to the future with nothing but dread.","[{'e1': ' U Saw ', 'e2': ""one of Burma's most notable up and coming politicians."", 'relation': 'was arguably ', 'condition': 'By 1938'}, {'e1': ' U Saw ', 'e2': 'his own violent paramilitary movemen', 'relation': 'founded ', 'condition': 'As the head of his political party'}, {'e1': 'he ', 'e2': ""an oil worker's strike"", 'relation': 'took advantage of ', 'condition': 'That same year'}, {'e1': ' Facebook ', 'e2': 'an oversized role in the enabling of genocidal violence against the Rohingya', 'relation': 'has played ', 'condition': 'In modern Burma'}, {'e1': 'social media ', 'e2': 'the pursuit of sectarian goals.', 'relation': 'has again been weaponised in ', 'condition': 'in Ethiopia'}]"
281,P0282,1s6v433,"I'm reading Aryeh Neier's book 'defending my enemy' about the infamous Skokie case where, in the 1970's a group of Jewish lawyers defended the 1st amendment right of neo Nazis to March in the town of Skokie.
  
  The end result was the Nazi chapter becoming a laughing stock, the counter demonstration being far louder and more persuasive, and many neo Nazis leaving the movement as they saw how little sense it made. 
  
  Aryeh makes a profoundly important point, that any precedent set in law around free speech doesn't just affect the singular case, it can and possibly will, affect you and your beliefs.
  
  For example one argument given against the Nazi march was that it would 'disturb the peace' as it's likely counter demonstrators would attack them. But as Aryeh makes clear, many of the civil rights marches would not have happened if this was a valid argument. It would have given violent white supremacist groups a defacto veto on all civil rights protests as they could claim there would be violence if there was a march. 
  
  More expansively, even in the most extreme cases, there is a reason why German Jews in the second world war had a higher survival rate than most countries occupied by Nazi Germany. It's because despite all the corruption and evil, the judicial system in Germany remained at least partially intact. And past precedents set made it difficult, even for a totalitarian fascist government to do whatever they wanted. And this afforded some small protections for the Jewish population.
  
  I've used this, as the most extreme example to demonstrate the point. If we show free speech should have few exceptions, and a high threshold for censorship, it will enshrine across multiple laws and precedents the need to protect all rights. Including your own when your political opponents are in power.
  
  If we believe that the threshold should be as low as making offensive jokes, or even just planning a moderately disruptive protest (as is the case in the UK) then this leaves the door wide open for a extremist government to suppress everyone.
  
  This being said, would like to understand where I'm wrong in my hypothesis and see where I may need to cmv.","[{'e1': ' a group of Jewish lawyers ', 'e2': 'the 1st amendment right of neo Nazis to March', 'relation': 'defended ', 'condition': ""in the 1970's, in the town of Skokie.""}, {'e1': 'many neo Nazis', 'e2': 'the movement ', 'relation': ' leaving ', 'condition': 'as they saw how little sense it made'}, {'e1': 'any precedent set in law', 'e2': 'the singular case', 'relation': ' affects ', 'condition': 'around free speech'}, {'e1': 'any precedent set in law', 'e2': 'you and your beliefs.', 'relation': 'affects ', 'condition': 'around free speech'}, {'e1': ' Nazi march ', 'e2': 'the peace ', 'relation': 'would disturb ', 'condition': ""as it's likely counter demonstrators would attack them""}, {'e1': 'violent white supremacist groups ', 'e2': 'a defacto veto on all civil rights protests ', 'relation': 'would have', 'condition': 'as they could claim there would be violence if there was a march. '}, {'e1': 'German Jews ', 'e2': 'a higher survival rate ', 'relation': 'had ', 'condition': 'in the second world war, than most countries occupied by Nazi Germany'}, {'e1': ' this', 'e2': 'the door wide open for a extremist government to suppress everyone.', 'relation': ' leaves ', 'condition': 'If we believe that the threshold should be as low as making offensive jokes, or even just planning a moderately disruptive protest'}]"
282,P0283,1s6wii5,"ETA: I understand that this is a big wall of text, but I’d really encourage you to read it before responding to the title alone; most of the comments I’m getting at this point are clearly from people who haven’t bothered to read the body of the post, or even the clarifying edits at the bottom. I would really love to discuss this topic further, but I can’t just keep repeating myself.
  
  ———————————————————————————
  
  I want to preface this by saying that although this is obviously a political post, being that it’s centered around a politician, I am approaching this from the angle of someone who has always been fascinated by scams, and the people / organizations that execute them, ever since I first heard the term ‘snake oil salesman,’ and looked into what that meant.
  
  I think my feelings on Trump personally and politically are sort of implicit in the nature of the post itself; I’m not really interested in arguing over whether he’s an effective leader, or a good person, or anything of that nature. There’s plenty of places to have that sort of discourse already.
  
  What I want to focus on in particular is an actual measure of Donald Trump’s success as a con artist, not just through the lens of his political career, but essentially his entire professional career, and examples or comparisons of other individual con artists (from any point in time) that I could be persuaded have raked in more profit from their endeavors than he has, without facing any meaningful consequences.
  
  I also want to emphasize that I’m talking about Trump as an \*\*individual\*\* con artist here; I think that there have probably been greater scams, like pre-reformation indulgences in the Catholic Church, for example, but that was conducted over centuries by countless individuals; I’m looking for an example of \*\*one\*\* individual whose scams have been more financially fruitful than Trump’s, and who has never faced meaningful consequences for those scams. This is not to imply that Trump has carried out all of his scams by his lonesome; in fact, I would assume that most of the legwork is being done by others, but his name and face have been directly associated with numerous proven cons at this point, and yet here we are. Some examples;
  
  Stiffing Contractors - Even in the earliest stages of his professional career, Trump was infamous for refusing to pay contractors in full in the NY / NJ area upon completion of work, and drowning them in litigation if they tried to fight back; this was such a common practice that his constant insistence on lowering previously agreed-upon prices to \~70% of what they’d been became known as ‘the Trump discount’ in the region.
  
  Trump Network MLM Scheme - Originally founded as ‘Ideal Health,’ in ‘97, a run-of-the-mill vitamin supplement-selling pyramid scheme, this con had already faced legal scrutiny before Trump even got involved, including an FTC lawsuit regarding a false claim that one of their products could cure cancer. Despite all of this, in 2009, Trump licensed his name and likeness to the company, recorded multiple advertisements himself implying a much larger role in the company’s endeavors than he actually played, and even billed it as a “rescue and recovery program” for people suffering during the Great Recession. It’s extremely obvious that he was aware this was a scam, for a multitude of reasons, the easiest one to point out being that he preemptively registered almost 20 domain names including ‘TrumpNeworkFraud.com’ and ‘DonaldTrumpPonziScheme.com’ so that others couldn’t claim them and expose the nature of the MLM.
  
  Trump University - Probably fresher in a lot of people’s minds, the Trump University scam was even a topic during his first presidential campaign, with Trump eventually settling multiple lawsuits with the victims for $25M, including full reimbursement for the people who’d purchased his courses, after it was proven that pretty much every aspect of the program was falsely advertised, including the instructors not having been ‘hand-picked’ by Trump despite his own public claims to the contrary, and numerous other grievances. Trump himself admitted no wrongdoing in the settlement, of course, but in my opinion it’s pretty easy to see that Trump University was not at all what it was advertised to be, and therefore a scam.
  
  “Official Election Defense Fund” - In the wake of the 2020 presidential election, as most of us probably recall, Trump insisted that his loss was illegitimate, and filed a huge amount of court cases challenging the results. He started an “Official Election Defense Fund,” and aggressively solicited donations from his supporters (even well past the safe harbor date for the election), with very clear messaging that this money would be going towards fighting what he claimed to be fraudulent election results; however, in reality, the vast majority of those legal fees were covered by the RNC, which only received a small portion of Trump’s donations. The “Official Election Defense Fund” saw most of its money go to the Save America PAC (Trump’s own organization), not towards any futile attempts to overturn the election, despite clearly having been advertised as such.
  
  These are not the only scams that Donald Trump has run in his lifetime, they are just a few examples; however, they illustrate a clear pattern of behavior, and in correlation with this pattern there has also been an immense rise in his net worth, from an estimated $1.6B around the year 2000 to an estimated $7B\~ today, with a staggering amount of that increase having taken place in the past year alone (much of that tied to questionable Crypto endeavors like World Liberty Financial).
  
  My view is pretty simple; again, I’ve always been fascinated by con artists, ever since I learned about the concept of a snake oil salesman ripping people off, skipping town before they got wise and doing the same thing over and over; Donald Trump, it seems to me, is a snake oil salesman that doesn’t feel the need to skip town, because he can just drown anyone in litigation and publicly deny wrongdoing when called out, and enough people will believe him, as we’ve seen time and time again.
  
  I legitimately cannot think of another, better example of a person like this. Someone who’s been running scams for such a long time, with so much financial success, and so few consequences. The purpose of this post is for someone to change my mind on that; convince me that there has been a more successful \*\*individual\*\* con artist than Donald Trump.
  
  Whether that be by way of convincing me that he isn’t actually a con artist somehow (although I warn you, that would be pretty difficult at this point), or, preferably, by giving me an actual example of someone that deserves that crown more than Trump does. Like I’ve said multiple times now, this is a fascination of mine, and after wracking my brain for a long time I legitimately cannot think of such an example; so, CMV.
  
  Edit: To clarify, I’m talking about the way things stand right now. Obviously things could fall apart for Trump in some way in the future, but as of now, they have not, so I won’t be persuaded by any hypotheticals.
  
  Second Edit: I’ve seen a few people bring up Jesus Christ, Mohammed and other religious founders; I’m not going to be addressing these comments any more simply because those individuals did not make enough money through their endeavors to be considered here. Whether you think they were liars or not, they themselves don’t have compelling cases towards this argument. Various organizations spawned from their lives / teachings may, but we’re talking individuals here, and neither Jesus nor Mohammed were as rich as Donald Trump in their lifetimes.
  
  Third Edit: I cannot disprove a negative, so ‘the best con artist of all time is probably someone who was never exposed,’ or arguments of that nature also won’t be addressed anymore. As I said, I’m looking for examples and comparisons throughout history, not hypotheticals.","[{'e1': 'Trump ', 'e2': 'refusing to pay contractors in full in the NY / NJ area ', 'relation': 'was infamous for ', 'condition': 'upon completion of work'}, {'e1': 'Trump ', 'e2': 'litigation', 'relation': ' drowned them in ', 'condition': 'if they tried to fight back'}]"
283,P0284,1s72qnt,"Before anyone immediately calls me a pedophile defender, says I'm a piece of shit, or claims I don't care about victims, I do. I want everyone who was complicit or knew about Epstein's crimes to be charged and sentenced to life in every single case. Trump should be immediately removed from office and die in prison for what he has done.
  
  So why do I not associate with many online groups that are focused on the Epstein files? Well because they often just believe everything blindly and don't stop to do accurate research. Yes, many people in high positions of power were named in the files and should be scrutinized forever if they are not put in prison as they should be.
  
  But anytime anyone makes a claim without verifiable evidence, the public just spreads it around online like gospel. This has nutoriously led to individuals who aren't in the files being accused of it, like when 4chan was able to spread that Tom Hanks was in the files because they didn't like him, and a ton of people latched onto it.
  
  And what pisses me off is that if you even stop to say ""hey I think x claim is wrong"" or ""I think this piece of evidence is fake"" a bunch of morons will say you don't care about victims and that you support pedophiles.
  
  NO. Me being critical of claims and evidence brought up doesn't mean I fucking support Epstein. If you're someone who has said that to another person, you don't support victims. You don't care about anyone but yourself; you just want an excuse to be angry. It's to a point where I don't think most online groups really care about victims at all, they just want to latch onto whatever the new story is, and never check if it's actually true.
  
  People fighting for victims in activism and/or the people in our legal system actively fighting to try and get some justice for victims are the only ones I really trust anymore; the online groups dedicated to this always just end up making themselves look stupid. They don't really care about victims. CMV.","[{'e1': ' the public', 'e2': ' gospel', 'relation': ' just spreads it around online like', 'condition': ' anytime anyone makes a claim without verifiable evidence'}, {'e1': ' a bunch of morons', 'e2': 'victims and that you support pedophiles.', 'relation': "" will say you don't care about "", 'condition': ' if you even stop to say ""hey I think x claim is wrong"" or ""I think this piece of evidence is fake""'}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'victims', 'relation': ""don't support "", 'condition': ""If you're someone who has said that to another person""}, {'e1': ' You ', 'e2': 'anyone but yourself ', 'relation': ""don't care about "", 'condition': ""If you're someone who has said that to another person""}, {'e1': 'you ', 'e2': 'an excuse to be angry', 'relation': 'just want ', 'condition': ""If you're someone who has said that to another person""}]"
284,P0285,1s75z2t,"I would LOVE to have to have the kind of life the fat boneless human blobs had in Wall-E, where pretty much the entire first 2 or 3 layers of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs were GUARANTEED to be met at all times.
  
  Literally the biggest challenge you'd face if you had that life is deciding on what to have for lunch and dinner, and with whom to engage for socializing...
  
  What's so terrible about that - a seemingly post-scarcity society? Why would it be a BAD thing to want that kind of life, knowing no suffering, hardships, or even significant inconveniences?
  
  I for one HATE being inconvenienced... and so having swarms of robots pretty much go out of their way to solve just about all of daily life's usual inconveniences seems like the DREAM to me...
  
  The lives of the humans on those ships in Wall-E were IDYLLIC, and not something to admonish or warn viewers against, in my eyes.","[{'e1': 'the biggest challenge ', 'e2': 'deciding on what to have for lunch and dinner, and with whom to engage for socializing', 'relation': ""you'd face is "", 'condition': ' if you had that life'}]"
285,P0286,1s7bbri,"The US supports Israel for 2 major reasons, none of which have anything to do with the governanment of Israel, or AIPAC.
  
  Oil, and Evangelical Christian views since the late 1800s (specifically Premillennialism), are far, far greater factors in historic and current American policy decisions in the middle east.
  
  First, I want to give my background, because it will help you understand my basis. I'm a fairly left (though not far left) Democrat who is a Christian, and has grown up in the American Evangelical church my whole life. I voted Democrat up and down the ballot in the last election, and plan to do the same in the midterms. I do not think AIPAC in general is a good thing, but I think its negative influence is greatly overstated, and fairly minimal given the scope of US politics. I also think that Israel is a poorly governed country, and I have strong criticisms of how the US has given Israel a blank check, but I don't think it's because of AIPAC or the Israeli control of US government (or even direct strong influence on the US).
  
  \#1. Oil is the number 1 reason that drives over 90% of middle east decisions.
  
  The US needs a soft power lever in the middle east in order to exert influence over oil interests. The majority of the time, supporting Israel coincides with the Oil PAC interests, and when they diverge, AIPAC cannot exert the same amount of influence.
  
  Of course, PAC's exert tons of influence on US politics. They don't completely control it, but if it is possible to exert influence, these PAC's often do their best to influence it in their own interests.
  
  A strong Israel is the best thing for US oil imports, 99% of the time. This is the primary ROI reason for the money sent to Israel. There's no clear way to prove this, but if the Oil PAC didn't get a return on investment, they would not spend so much money that goes towards politicians with strong militaristic-force type positions in the middle east.
  
  There's almost no area where US foreign policy in Israel is not directly tied to oil imports, and the Oil PAC spent roughly $450 million in the 2024 election cycle, while AIPAC spent less than $50 million.
  
  AIPAC exerts very precise influence by funding primaries in national elections, specifically when one candidate is pro-Israel, even though these specific races rarely change national votes on policy. From what I can see, the main goal of AIPAC is to silence specific voices in national discourse when they are able, which is effective, but does not change policy decisions, and there are not clear examples of AIPAC funding a politician, and then causing that politician to substantively change their position.
  
  AIPAC, when they go up against the Oil PAC, they lose. The US involvement in the Suez Canal crisis is an example of this, as well as the 1981 AWACS Sale to Saudi Arabia, and virtually all post-1981 deals with other Arab countries regarding oil.
  
  These deals would not be made if AIPAC had greater influence, or even similar influence that the Oil PAC does.
  
  American politicians care more about oil than Israel, it just so happens that they generally mean the same thing.
  
  How you can change my mind on this:
  
  1. Show me specific examples of AIPAC directly donating to a politician, which causes them to change their views. Provide a documented paper trail, not just a number of how much money that politician accepted. And then show how that politician changing their mind, lead to a policy change regarding Israel and the Middle East.
  2. Show me a clear example of when AIPAC and the Oil PAC interests collided, American politicians choose to support Israel, when most academic policy experts showed a clear preference for the Oil PAC interests preferred actions, and that the actions that were better for American interests in general were ignored for policies that AIPAC pushed for.
  3. Show clear documented evidence of a US politician being blackmailed or bribed personally, like Bob Menendez was convicted of doing for Egypt.
  
  \#2. American Evangelical Christianity views on Premellinialism is the historical, majority reason why Christian politicians have supported Israel.
  
  Following the Civil War, a Pre-millennial view of Revelations in Christianity increased, until a peak after World War 2, and was the major driving force for unwavering support of Israel by American politicians following World War 2 (FDR was not like this, I'm referring to after his presidency).
  
  The Christian belief tied with the belief that Israel was necessary for Jesus to return was incredibly important to a huge swathe of American voters, and especially among demographics that tend to show up to vote.
  
  As a side note, I do not hold this belief, but I am very familiar with it because of where I grew up.
  
  This belief is the biggest reason most conservative Christians have unwavering support for Israel. This has been going on for over 100 years, before even the Israeli government was established, and the rise in this belief is tied to white Christians pushing for it, not Jewish people.
  
  This belief is still around, and Israel certainly benefits from it, but it does not increase this view, either with monetary influence, or behind the scenes influence.
  
  A large non-profit that supports Israel is Jews for Jesus, and they are not funded by Israel, or people enriched by Israel, they are funded by white Christians.
  
  I have done sound production (mics and whatnot) for the leader of Jews for Jesus a handful of times, and I spent 2 years in close contact (through work) with someone who he considers a friend.
  
  He's an incredibly charismatic person, and definitely is in a media bubble that blinds him to any and all corruption in the Israeli government, but it's not because of some Israel influence. He's been like this since being straight out of seminary, when he was a young speaker, and his ""career"" has never been propped up by Israel, it doesn't have to be.
  
  From my personal interactions with him, as well as looking into his history, it does not seem like he has been funded in any capacity by Israel interests, but rather the Evangelical movement that I described above.
  
  I picked him because of my personal interactions with him, and because he leads the largest civilian Pro-Israel movement that undoubtedly affects people's voting decisions.
  
  There are other voting groups besides this one, but all told, this block of people makes up probably 10% of all voters, which isn't a lot, but is a huge amount to sway which politicians get elected, especially in Republican areas, though should not be understated in Democratic areas also.
  
  Israel definitely does what they can to cater to these groups, but these groups and these voters do not exist because of Israel, rather, Israel just is a glad recipient of these groups goodwill. And, even though Israel's catering to these groups is important, the support for Israel primarily stems from American churches​, which have little to no influence from current Israeli political forces.
  
  You can change my mind about this point by:
  
  1. Show me documentation of how Israel has funded groups like Jews for Jesus, and has substantially influenced the US voter base through direct, specific actions with clear effects that follow it. Especially with regards to the largest one Christians United For Israel (CUFI).
  2. Show me a larger voter group than the one I described that is Pro-Israel, and has also been directly funded by Israel or Israeli interests.
  3. Show me clear evidence of how Israel affects voters that isn't related to this issue, and has a greater, clear, documented, substantive effect than the Christian movement I described above.
  
  \#In summary:
  
  American voters positions in Israel do not come from Israel politicians or Israeli influence, and the greatest source of voter support for Israel comes from white American churches.
  
  American politicians' positions are not primarily driven by Israel control or influence, but rather from the Oil PAC which largely coincides with support for Israel, as well as from the voter base described above.
  
  In order to convince me, please provide clear, specific documented examples. Not ""isn't it weird that"", or ""it looks similar"", or ""it definitely seems like"" or ""it's possible that..."".
  
  And don't provide dollar amounts of funding without context. Show me clear donations from clear Israel based sources, that substantially changed actual policy.
  
  Moreover, I would also claim that media pundits that spread the claim that AIPAC and Israel exert some extreme control over US politics are bad sources of information, and that until actual evidence like I described above is provided, those pundits are not reliable, and should not be taken seriously.
  
  And please don't attack me for being Christian, or Democrat, or say that I'm pro-Israel. My views on Israel, or Palestine, have very little to do with my argument here, and don't bring it up unless you're using it as a clear, defined, reasoned, argument with documentation.
  
  Another side note, if you're going to bring up Epstein, please provide a clear paper trail, not just ""they're related to this person, so it's possible that he's influenced by that"". The current conflict in Iran is primarily about oil, or as a tool to direct local politics and local discussion, and there's no documentation or evidence I've seen that suggests it has to do with Israel telling the US what to do. If you have clear, documented, substantive evidence showing otherwise, then this would be a great starting point to prove me wrong.
  
  Edit:
  
  My sources, since someone asked.
  
  A History of the Modern Middle East; by Martin P. Bunton and William L. Cleveland
  
  The Six-Day War: A Retrospective; by Richard B. Parker
  
  Big Oil in the United States: Industry Influence on Institutions, Policy, and Politics; by Jerry A. McBeath
  
  The Rise and Fall of Dispensational Premillennialism in American Christianity; by Daniel G Hummel","[{'e1': 'Oil, and Evangelical Christian views ', 'e2': 'far greater factors in historic and current American policy decisions in the middle east', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'since the late 1800s'}, {'e1': ' AIPAC ', 'e2': 'fairly minimal ', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'given the scope of US politics.'}, {'e1': 'The US ', 'e2': 'a soft power lever in the middle east ', 'relation': 'needs ', 'condition': 'in order to exert influence over oil interests'}, {'e1': ' supporting Israel', 'e2': 'the Oil PAC interests', 'relation': ' coincides with ', 'condition': ' majority of the time'}, {'e1': 'AIPAC ', 'e2': 'the same amount of influence.', 'relation': 'cannot exert ', 'condition': 'when its interests diverge from Oil PAC interests'}, {'e1': ' PACs', 'e2': 'US politics in their own interests', 'relation': 'often do their best to influence ', 'condition': 'if it is possible to exert influence'}, {'e1': 'A strong Israel ', 'e2': ' US oil imports', 'relation': 'is the best thing for', 'condition': '99% of the time'}, {'e1': ' they ', 'e2': 'so much money that goes towards politicians with strong militaristic-force type positions in the middle east.', 'relation': 'would not spend ', 'condition': ""if the Oil PAC didn't get a return on investment""}, {'e1': 'AIPAC ', 'e2': 'very precise influence ', 'relation': 'exerts ', 'condition': 'by funding primaries in national elections'}, {'e1': ' American politicians', 'e2': 'Israel', 'relation': ' choose to support ', 'condition': 'when most academic policy experts showed a clear preference for the Oil PAC interests preferred actions'}, {'e1': 'This ', 'e2': 'over 100 years ', 'relation': 'has been going on for ', 'condition': 'before even the Israeli government was established'}]"
286,P0287,1s7hqz5,"I'm American but live in Canada, that isn't really relevant because I think this should be universal across all countries that practice democracy. I'll use the US as an example for simplicity. 
  
  I've never understood the notion that politics should be an altruistic endeavor, the cynical part of me believes it to be propaganda by the wealthy. The president of the United States makes $400k and congress makes around $200k annually. Why are the country's decision makers earning as much as software developers in San Francisco? I did all of my schooling including College in the US and the number of people who aspired for a career in politics was minuscule. It simply is not worth the effort and scrutiny to pursue. In addition, it's much easier to sway policy when the people in charge can be influenced by a relatively small sum of money. 
  
  I think the President should earn $100m+/year and congress should make $20m. That sounds like a lot but it nets to around $10 billion. If the pay increase results in even slightly better governance, it will pay for itself several times over. 
  
  You can extend this out to other facets of government and public service but that becomes more costly. I also think corruption should be investigated by an independent party and offenses should be treated like treason. 
  
  Am I missing something? What are the arguments against this change?","[{'e1': 'The president of the United States ', 'e2': '$400k', 'relation': 'makes ', 'condition': 'annually'}, {'e1': ' congress ', 'e2': '$200k ', 'relation': 'makes around ', 'condition': 'annually'}]"
287,P0288,1s7l39f,"The premise of my argument stems from a belief that I think is largely pervasive amongst high schoolers in the US that apply for schools that use holistic admissions (typically the top 50 or so schools within the US that look significantly at extracurriculars, letters of rec, and things beyond pure academics) and is best quoted by a Harvard professor himself: ""if we stare long and hard enough at a 17-year-old kid’s self-presentation on their college application, we can discern who is most worthy.""
  
  Obviously, the definition of worthy is subjective in the context of the quote, but based on the beliefs of most of my peers, the beliefs from multiple papers on the topic, and the belief of the author himself, this measure of ""worthiness"" tends to be the level of ""future success"" of an applicant, with success typically measured as a level of income/earnings (READ EDIT 2 FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATION).
  
  To reclarify, my claim is that these universities espouse the kool-aid that, ""yeah, just be yourself, and our admissions officers will take it from there and make the decision on who will be most successful in the future (which will benefit us as a business, and, ofc, society at large)"", but that the system of holistic admissions fails in doing that better than (or even equal to) the admissions systems that are in opposition to it.
  
  Of course, I could provide the best anecdotal evidence in support of this (in light of which I've made this post in the first place), but I think the best evidence lies in the empirical studies.
  
  David Deming, the Harvard professor which I quoted earlier, did a study to question whether the non-academic factors which holistic admissions includes in consideration actually affect future earnings potential, in comparison to academic factors. You can find a link to a summary of the findings as well as the quote here: [https://forklightning.substack.com/p/the-trouble-with-holistic-admissions](https://forklightning.substack.com/p/the-trouble-with-holistic-admissions).
  
  He summarizes that, ""applicants with high non-academic ratings don’t do any better in terms of earnings or graduate school attendance. However, academic ratings strongly predict later life success."" This indicated to him, and to myself as well, that holistic admissions does not improve upon and thus qualify as ""better than"" alternative admissions systems like the ones practiced in the UK and other Western countries like Canada because the extra factors that are considered don't have any consequence on ""future success"" (the premise of the system itself).
  
  He also finds that the system biases in favor of wealthy applicants, as by including factors like extracurriculars and essays, you are biasing in favor of applicants who can have applications tailored for them by teams of writers and consultants who are bought and paid for. I personally know many of these types of people.
  
  I would expand on this argument in comparison to other alternative systems like the ones in the UK. All admission systems rely on data points to make decisions, whether those be academic or non-academic. I am not arguing on the basis of the difference in the academic data points evaluated being the factor that makes holistic admissions worse (SAT vs. A-levels, etc.), because as explained earlier, academic data points DO indicate ""future success"". Thus, despite the argument of academic data points also having a problem of biasing for the rich (although I can provide counter arguments to that as well), it's irrelevant, because they do have a relation to the premise of any admissions system: to make decisions based on who is worthy. Thus, the problem is effectively non-unique in relation to my argument.
  
  However, these non-academic data points also increase bias for the rich while not improving the reach of the system to chase the ideal. Thus, it would seem logical to conclude that there is no ""cancelling out"" effect, and that they actually hurt the admissions systems in relation to the premise.
  
  Outside my logical perspectives and rationalizations, I have a larger frustration with the amount of propaganda espoused in relation to the premise by these universities, especially private universities with no oversight. They have fueled an industry full of counselors saying the same thing as what I quoted above, and yet give no rationalizations to applicants for their decisions, aren't held accountable by any governmental body on whether or not their AO's make decisions that actually achieve their spouted purpose, and can get away with thus, incredibly arbitrary and subjective decisions.
  
  I am open to evidence or arguments being made to change my mind on both my rationalizations and my emotional feelings especially having just finished the college admissions process myself. If needed and if relevant to an argument, I can provide details on some of my personal context that may influence my views and biases as well.
  
  **EDIT 1: Just finished reading the post fully and realized I didn't comprehensively cover my views. Would like to add that universities can use the guise of being holistic to avoid admitting based on solely academic data points. This allows them to not only bias for the rich as stated above, but also can lead to bias for the poor on the opposite extreme due to a litany of reasons. In contrast, I believe the middle class is disproportionately hurt by those advantages, given admissions is a zero-sum game. I don't think biasing for the rich or biasing for the poor is in itself a bad thing in relation to my argument, IF that gives universities a better ability to decide who's ""worthy"". My argument is that by biasing against the middle class (the majority of the population), universities have stunted their ability to decide who's ""worthy"" for the majority of the US HS population, and thus on average, have failed in their premise.**
  
  **EDIT 2: There seems to be some confusion on my definition of worthy. As you can read in some of my replies, the evidence I was referring to uses high-earnings potential as well as high-impact potential (elite grad school/PhD attendance and working at prestigious firms regardless of income) as metrics for worthy. This comes as people like** [**Calvin Wise**](https://www.linkedin.com/in/ccwise)**, now Deputy Dean of Admissions at Johns Hopkins University, say things like: ""Admissions is not an evaluation of past performance, but an identification of future potential."" The paper and almost every other source on the topic like these past AOs evaluate potential as how these applicants give back to the university. This comes in the form of donations/tuition (high earning potential) or grants/soft power/prestige (high-impact potential). Thus, this is what I have qualified as ""worthy"" for these T50 Universities based on the evidence available to me and what is espoused by the universities themselves.**","[{'e1': 'this measure of ""worthiness"" ', 'e2': '""future success"" of an applicant', 'relation': 'tends to be the level of ', 'condition': ' based on the beliefs of most of my peers, the beliefs from multiple papers on the topic, and the belief of the author himself'}, {'e1': 'the system', 'e2': 'wealthy applicants ', 'relation': ' biases in favor of ', 'condition': 'by including factors like extracurriculars and essays'}, {'e1': ' applicants ', 'e2': 'applications tailored for them ', 'relation': 'can have ', 'condition': 'by teams of writers and consultants'}]"
288,P0289,1s7qksl,"I’m open to having this view challenged, but here’s a perspective I’ve been thinking about recently.
  
  I help take neice to her acting classes here in London once a week and often get to sit in on performances and lessons. The way they're teaching, whenever they use examples of eye control, facial control, voice control, laughing, smiling.....almost every example video is shown with women. Just got me thinking that acting for women is a lot more technical than it is for most male roles. 
  
  
  My current view is that reaching the very top level of acting may require *more technical skill* for women than for men, largely because of differences in how emotional expression is perceived and evaluated on screen.
  
  Film and television cameras capture extremely subtle details. Small micro-expressions, facial tension changes, eye movements, vocal shifts, and reactive listening all communicate internal emotion. Performances that feel authentic often rely on constant, controlled emotional signalling rather than big dramatic moments.
  
  It seems that top actresses are expected to maintain a much wider range of visible emotional nuance. Audiences and directors often judge female performances on emotional transparency, responsiveness, and layered reactions, meaning the margin for error is smaller. Tiny inconsistencies in expression or tone can make a performance feel artificial.
  
  By contrast, male performances frequently allow for greater stoicism or emotional restraint. A quieter or more minimal emotional presentation can still be interpreted as strength, mystery, or depth. In some cases, doing less outwardly expressive work can still be rewarded critically.
  
  Because of this, my intuition is that:
  
  * Actresses often need stronger control over micro-expressions and emotional transitions.
  * They must communicate internal states more continuously rather than intermittently.
  * Emotional authenticity is scrutinised more closely in female performances.
  * The baseline expectations for emotional range may be higher.
  
  To be clear, I’m not saying men are less talented or incapable of emotional complexity. There are obviously extraordinary actors who deliver deeply nuanced performances. My claim is specifically about the *skill requirements and expectations* placed on performers at the highest level.
  
  So CMV:
  
  * Is this assumption wrong or based on selective examples?
  * Do acting techniques actually differ by gender in professional training?
  * Are industry norms or writing conventions the real explanation rather than talent demands?
  * Is stoicism itself just as technically difficult to execute well?
  
  Interested in perspectives from actors, film students, or anyone familiar with performance theory.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'my neice to her acting classes ', 'relation': ' help take ', 'condition': 'here in London once a week'}, {'e1': 'almost every example video ', 'e2': 'women', 'relation': 'is shown with ', 'condition': 'whenever they use examples of eye control, facial control, voice control, laughing, smiling'}]"
289,P0290,1s7t7eg,"*CMV*:
  
  Victorian Stoicism has done incredible damage to men in modern society. 
  
  Victorian Stoicism is characterized by:
  
  1. Emotional repression
  2. Glorification of suffering - (suffering builds character)
  3. Social conformity
  
  Victorian Stoicism attempts to mimic Greco-Roman Stoicism by enshrining emotional repression. This is a complete misunderstanding of Stoicism and is actively harmful. Stoicism prescribes a separation between your emotions and how you feel about them. By applying logos to an emotion, one can choose how to feel about the emotion. Similarly to modern cognitive behavioral therapy.
  
  Stoicism does not ask you to deny your emotions. Plenty of the Classical Greeks would express sadness or anger. Sadness or anger expressed appropriately is healthy and part of the nature of the world. All Stoicism asks of you is to not let your emotions rule you, and to examine them so you do not suffer from them.
  
  Victorian Stoicism asks you to deny your emotions completely. Touting the ""stiff upper lip."" This is antithetical to the human experience and leads to maladaptive behavioral patterns. Emotions not properly processed lead to volatility and degradation of one's ability to feel compassion for oneself and others.
  
  Victorian Stoicism treats suffering as a tool to strengthen men. We know now that suffering is generally bad. Repeated experiences of suffering reinforce the neural pathways that lead to the experience of suffering, making one less resilient to suffering in the future. Tangentially this is a large part of why SSRIs are prescribed, to increase neuroplasticity and allow the formation of new neural pathways that are less burdened by previous life experiences.
  
  Greco-Roman Stoicism treated suffering as neutral. It is something one experiences in life, but through logos, one can process suffering in a way that keeps the self intact. If one is angry at their neighbor, ask oneself why? If it's because they've wronged you, then ask why they wronged you? Many times it is not a personal failing of the person, but a product of the circumstances. This introspection through logos takes the sting off the emotion and leads to a reduction in suffering. Not by denying or worshipping suffering, but by acknowledging and processing it.
  
  Victorian Stoicism prescribes social conformity as a social good. This is a product of the industrial revolution, British empire building, and the hierarchical nature of Victorian society. By elevating social conformity Victorian Stoicism amputates a large part of the human experience. Humans should live their lives in a way that is personally meaningful to them and pursue their ideas of a highest good. By prescribing a one size fits all approach to social existence, it invokes the story of Procrustes. Yet instead of stretching or amputating men to make them fit the beds of a mad bandit, Victorian Stoicism disfigures your sense of self to fit the needs of an industrial revolution era empire.
  
  When men adopt the values of Victorian Stoicism, they repress their emotions, glorify suffering, and disfigure their sense of self. Many of men's issues in the modern day are remnants from this value system. The societal expectation that the only emotion men may show is anger, the cold indifference to men's suffering, and the foisting of hustle culture onto impressionable men are all directly downstream from a value system created in an industrial revolution era empire. A value system that was largely a misunderstanding of the Greco-Roman Stoicism that preceded it.","[{'e1': 'Victorian Stoicism ', 'e2': 'men ', 'relation': 'has done incredible damage to ', 'condition': 'in modern society.'}, {'e1': 'men', 'e2': 'their emotions', 'relation': ' repress ', 'condition': 'When men adopt the values of Victorian Stoicism'}, {'e1': 'men', 'e2': 'suffering', 'relation': 'glorify ', 'condition': 'When men adopt the values of Victorian Stoicism'}, {'e1': 'men', 'e2': 'their sense of self', 'relation': 'disfigure ', 'condition': 'When men adopt the values of Victorian Stoicism'}]"
290,P0291,1s7u83j,"In most countries, the government has the monopoly on acceptable violence through state bodies like the military/police . Trouble is that it can be used by government to subvert and violate rights (and imperatives to refuse orders if they go against the people have limited effectiveness). I think it would be better if rather than the party/regime/state controlling the proverbial guns, it would be better if the monopoly on violence is broken up down to the lowest individual with individuals responsible for national defense (with private ownership of even CBRN weapons allowed) and law enforcement with no centralized law enforcement or military. Meaning if you want to invade a country like say Iran, you get some friends with the equipment and go invade Iran, not call up the military and do so.
  
  It would be better off for a country since it will prevent military coups if the units can act on their own accord and it will allow communities and individuals to pick and choose their own laws that suit them. Moreover, if we combine it with allowing government and elected officials (and no bodyguards) to have anything done onto them by individuals with no punishment whatsoever to better improve accountability, the government will have an incentive to take better care of their citizens as the consequences for not doing so would be quite severe.
  
  TL:DR: Nations would be better off if there was no monopoly on legal violence.
  
  CMV","[{'e1': 'the government ', 'e2': 'the monopoly on acceptable violence ', 'relation': 'has ', 'condition': 'through state bodies like the military/police'}, {'e1': 'the government ', 'e2': 'the monopoly on acceptable violence ', 'relation': 'has ', 'condition': 'in most countries'}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'a country ', 'relation': 'would be better off for ', 'condition': ' if the units can act on their own accord'}, {'e1': ' the government ', 'e2': 'an incentive to take better care of their citizens ', 'relation': 'will have ', 'condition': 'if we combine it with allowing government and elected officials (and no bodyguards)'}, {'e1': ' the government ', 'e2': 'an incentive to take better care of their citizens ', 'relation': 'will have ', 'condition': 'as the consequences for not doing so would be quite severe.'}]"
291,P0292,1s871qk,"Edit: talking about elected officials, my apologies. I can’t change the title. 
  
  This war already looks badly planned, and I do not think people are grappling with what that means.
  
  1. The shifting justifications are a huge red flag and suggest there was a lack of planning from the beginning. You can also see the lack of foresight in the failure to secure the Strait and in how quickly assets had to be moved before the invasion and again right now. This looks like someone scrambling who never prepared in advance.
  2. This is increasingly looking like a loss for the US, even if people do not want to say it yet. Iran has already shown it can threaten oil flows and damage the global economy. That gives the regime leverage and power. Unless Trump has an actual way to restore stability, I do not see how this ends with a return to the status quo. More likely, things get worse and the region becomes even more unstable.
  3. What makes this worse is that the president is treated like a joke by most people, and they laugh at how absurd he is. But that is a massive problem. People are treating him like a joke while ignoring that the consequences of his actions are very real.
  4. This also creates an opening for China or Russia. If either of them decides to act while the US is tied down, the US is weaker, distracted, and out of position. On top of that, Trump has spent years alienating allies, which makes any larger crisis even harder to manage.
  
  Enough is enough. This clown show has real consequences, and people need to take this seriously. Things are spiralling out of control, and the president cannot even bring himself to ask for help without insulting allies.","[{'e1': 'the president ', 'e2': 'a joke ', 'relation': 'is treated like ', 'condition': 'by most people'}, {'e1': ' the US ', 'e2': 'weaker, distracted, and out of position', 'relation': 'is ', 'condition': 'If either of them decides to act while the US is tied down'}, {'e1': ' the president', 'e2': 'help ', 'relation': ' cannot even bring himself to ask for ', 'condition': 'without insulting allies.'}]"
292,P0293,1s87dlq,"If the Ayatollahs do fall i dont see how any one can replace them. IRGC has been made into a decentralised army , so if even the clerical body falls i doubt the IRGC Local commanders would stop fighting and that would start regional / local battles.
  
  Iran is very diverse ethnicity wise with 55% Persian , Azeris being 20%, Kurds 10% , Lurs 6% and the rest are baloch and arabs with others. There is insurgency in the baloch and kurds area already.
  
  The Pahlavis dont have much support in Iran. He's majorly popular only in the iranian diaspora (they are the million people/families that left post islamic revolution). My source is honestly reddit comms with other iranians before the internet shutdown but that was an year ago , maybe some change after the protests but i doubt its much.
  
  Then you will have some type of democratic socialist / anti imperial faction coming up or, some other islamic factions will raise. I dont see how this country will ever be united.
  
  Islam was the only common denominator among them making up about 90% i guess, which is why i think the revolution initially happened.
  
  I have mostly used the afghan and iraq civil wars as a guidebook i guess for this.
  
  
  Also to specify i dont think the Ayatollahs would fall without Ground boots but this is rather if ground boots happen and if US and Israel succeed than the puppet govt wont survive","[{'e1': 'any one', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': ""in my opinion can't replace "", 'condition': 'If the Ayatollahs do fall'}, {'e1': ' IRGC Local commanders', 'e2': 'fighting', 'relation': ' would not stop ', 'condition': 'if even the clerical body falls'}]"
293,P0294,1s8au0h,"As a man, I think I can say we all dreamt of being a hero at some point, I still do tbh and as I was playing my new zombie game I came to the realization that it actually wouldn’t be as fun.
  
  Even if they are stupid zombies and hella slow, they can surprise you at any second, just like how you never see a snail until they are right next to you. Everyday would be a struggle for survival and having to move from place to place to have what you need would have to make every single escenario perfect or you are fucked.
  
  Just statistically speaking if you are in the 1-5% of the world population that survived, the odds are agaisnt you… so No, a Zombie apocalypse wouldn’t be fun.","[{'e1': ' the odds ', 'e2': 'you', 'relation': 'are agaisnt ', 'condition': 'if you are in the 1-5% of the world population that survived'}]"
294,P0295,1s8c3yk,"Disclaimer: I am NOT arguing that LLMs shouldn't exist, it's the justification of their persistent usage to that of a calculator (and sometimes google).
  
  As LLMs have become more frequent over the years, as well as their dependence, people have divided significantly on whether they are something positive or negative for society. 
  
  Especially when it comes to the roll of programmers/software engineers, or anyone in tech for that matter. One argument that I find myself leaning towards is that it makes people much less proficient within their own field of expertise, specifically because of over-dependence.
  
  People often combat this argument by saying that withdrawing LLM's from a person's arsenal is almost like that of taking away a calculator--which, in the real world, is obviously practical regardless of your math background. And that people who are proficient with something such as coding should be given limitless access to LLMs in order to carry out their job/assignments.
  
  But the problem here isn't the fact that LLM's exist, it's the poor argumentation of comparing such a vast and powerful tool that encompasses a large proportion of your own thinking and execution, to a freaking calculator. 
  
  When you use chat gpt to do your coding for you, in several years, you're cooked as soon as the server breaks down, and you need to solve that syntax error on your own. 
  
  ""but just resort to google/stack overflow, it's the older method of using chat gpt today""
  
  This is also a terrible argument because neither stack overflow nor any google forum contains a limitless algorithmic generator of every single problem you feed it as an LLM does.
  
  Take for example a Computer Science major who relies on chat gpt to help with his assignments. His inability to debug will harm him on the job, and it will harm him when he's unable to refer to an LLM regarding anything for that matter. He will always find himself relying on LLM's to help him with fundamentals that should be known prior. And as a result, his over-dependence has made him much less competent of a developer.
  
  Now a mathematician who loves using his calculator to make quick computations is nowhere near the same as a GPT-reliant software engineer. That's because the mathematician (or anyone else for that matter) isn't finding themselves using a calculator to solve every problem in the book. It's limited and can only do so much, leaving the rest of the thinking for the person's brain, forcing them to adapt.
  
  LLM's aren't anywhere near as limited as a calculator, nor a google forum that only has as many problems as the people before you have fed it, they can run computations based on your input and deliver a solution to your problem within seconds, further facilitating and rewarding lazy effort. This causes a person to regress within their field of expertise significantly. 
  
  And thus, it is nothing like using a calculator nor google for help.
  
  TLDR: the analogy isn't proportional.
  
  Also it's late, so I'll respond to some now some tomorrow","[{'e1': ' it ', 'e2': 'people much less proficient within their own field of expertise', 'relation': 'makes ', 'condition': ' specifically because of over-dependence.'}, {'e1': 'people who are proficient with something such as coding ', 'e2': ' LLMs ', 'relation': 'should be given limitless access to', 'condition': 'in order to carry out their job/assignments.'}, {'e1': 'His inability to debug ', 'e2': 'him ', 'relation': 'will harm ', 'condition': 'on the job '}, {'e1': 'His inability to debug ', 'e2': ' him ', 'relation': 'will harm', 'condition': ""when he's unable to refer to an LLM regarding anything for that matter""}, {'e1': 'LLMs ', 'e2': 'computations ', 'relation': 'can run ', 'condition': 'based on your input'}]"
295,P0296,1s8dvew,"CMV: It makes no sense to me that Britain is ""Islamized"" while not claiming the same for India, Israel, Russia and Singapore.
  
  Okay look I know that people who are claiming this due so out of bigotry but it just makes no sense to claim Britain is ""Islamized"" but not others
  
  My reasoning
  
  British Muslim Percentage: 6.5%
  
  India Muslim Percentage: 14-15%
  
  Russia Muslim Percentage: 10-15%
  
  Israel Muslim Percentage: 18-20%
  
  Singapore Muslim Percentage: 15-16%
  
  All of those other countries have FAR more Muslims per capita (and usually in numbers) then Britain yet when was the last time you heard about India becoming Islamic? Or Israel Making Sharia the law of the land? Or Russia forcing Hijab on women? Or Singapore banning pork and alcohol?
  
  Like I get the concept of caring about your home country more. But these same people don't claim that countries with above 5% Muslim populations are Islamic UNLESS they are in Europe or North America. Because of this I believe most (If not all) people who claim Britain is Islamic are bad faith actors and are just not in reality.
  
  Change my view","[{'e1': ' these same people ', 'e2': 'countries with above 5% Muslim populations are Islamic ', 'relation': ""don't claim that "", 'condition': 'UNLESS they are in Europe or North America. '}]"
296,P0297,1s8jhqr,"This argument comes up quite a bit that it’s just too expensive to eat healthy. But it’s really not. People are just set in their comfort zone with processed foods or convenience foods and don’t want to change.
  
  I partially see where they’re coming from, as some of the most popular and best-advertised produce is expensive, like berries, grapes, avocado, and spinach (more on this later), but those represent a tiny fraction of options.
  
  Let’s say somebody eats a lot of cheap frozen pizza, as well as a lot of boxed meal kits. I, myself, can eat over half of such an item and still be hungry. Well, contrast that with a “boring” staple of budget-friendly food: rice and beans. You can get a LOT of dry rice and beans for very little money. And even though rice and beans isn’t the healthiest option nutrient-wise, it’s at least healthier than frozen pizza or Hamburger Helper, and I guarantee you it’s cheaper per serving. You can add a bag of frozen vegetables to a pot of rice and beans to amp up the nutrients, and I bet that would put you at a comparable price point.
  
  Here’s a fun idea. Go to the produce section of a grocery store, and imagine yourself eating $5 worth of any produce item in one sitting. Do you know what $5 worth of carrots looks like, for example? I guarantee you that you can’t eat it all, or that you will feel full after eating it all. Same with the amount of money’s worth of potatoes, apples, squash, broccoli, etc. But $5 worth of a cheap, processed food item will leave you still feeling hungry. People just don’t want to take the time to learn to buy and prepare real, healthy food. But such food really is quite affordable and, dollar for dollar, more filling.
  
  Back to the more expensive items. I’d consider things like grapes, berries, etc. as snacks. If somebody is just trying to get by on a budget, then snacks are not a necessity. But if you open the door for snacks, then let’s compare. One can easily put away $5 worth of chips and still feel hungry (but also bloated and depressed). Eat that value amount of raspberries, and you’ll actually be full but also likely still in a calorie deficit.
  
  No, it’s not prohibitively expensive to eat healthy. It does take planning, preparation, and change. People generally don’t like those things and are creatures of habit, so they use the expensiveness as an excuse.","[{'e1': ' snacks ', 'e2': ' a necessity', 'relation': 'are not', 'condition': 'If somebody is just trying to get by on a budget'}]"
297,P0298,1s8kbuu,"I am totally against everything that ICE has done over the last year or so because I am in favor of constitutionality and basic standards of human dignity. 
  
  Putting that aside, I feel like a lot of people think that the fact that there were about 12 million undocumented immigrants in the United States was some kind of win for human rights. It’s not. Those people are here because we exploit them.
  
  So often you hear people say things like, “if you don’t like illegal immigration, have fun paying $40 a pound for strawberries!”. Are we thinking of the implications of this statement? 
  
  We are saying that the only way Americans can maintain affordability (and we barely are) is if there is an underclass of people with no legally mandated minimum wage or labor protections who do the dirty and dangerous and hard work in the United States.
  
  And make no mistake, that’s why they’re here. Employers hire them to pick fruit or mow lawns or wipe old people’s asses, because that kind of work takes almost zero education but it’s not fun. 
  
  You would have to pay Americans about triple what an impoverished refugee from Guatemala would accept to do that shit. And, bonus round! You don’t have to give the Central Americans 15 minute breaks or overtime or workman’s comp if they get hurt or sick from doing the backbreaking work that Americans refuse to do.
  
  Undocumented immigrants are exploited. I feel like too few people think about that. Change my view.","[{'e1': ' Americans \n', 'e2': 'affordability ', 'relation': 'can maintain ', 'condition': 'if there is an underclass of people with no legally mandated minimum wage or labor protections who do the dirty and dangerous and hard work in the United States.'}]"
298,P0299,1s8mmbn,"I used to attend a large (>35,000 students), top 30 public college in the United States up until very recently. I dropped out because it was too expensive lol. However, I genuinely cannot believe the amount of hidden surveillance everywhere on campus. No matter where a student goes, they're always being tracked. I do not believe there is a single spot on my campus where you're off a camera or some sort of surveillance for more than 30 seconds at a given time.
  
  Do you want to access the library to study? Sure, scan your student ID. You want to get food with your friend? Scan your ID. Do you want to access a faculty hall because you have a class soon? Scan your ID. Do you need to speak to a professor for office hours? Sure, just scan your student ID. Would you like to go to the gym, use the pool, print some papers, do your laundry, or use any sort of campus transportation? Be sure to scan your ID and have it logged to a database that essentially tracks your everyday movements and your everyday routine.
  
  In the name of security and safety, colleges have implemented surveillance tools such as security cameras, audio loggers, ShotSpotters, license-plate recognition cameras, and not to mention monitoring of your own personal devices. Nobody questions these mainly because they are not even aware of how extensive universities place cameras. Cameras in my school are everywhere, albeit hidden. The cameras will be on the roofs angled downwards on a steep angle, or on tall buildings, where no one looks at. Cameras are on stop signs to record cars passing through campus streets. Cameras are spray-painted to blend in with walls indoors and installed in corners that usually have drywall beams nearby, blocking people from seeing it in normal angles. Cameras are hidden discreetly on lights on campus shuttle buses. Cameras are designed to look like smoke detectors or lights in my classrooms. Cameras are perched in hallways in my dorm building. Do students not deserve privacy even where they live?
  
  My university is in a small college town that has hardly any crimes other than public intoxication, disorderly conducts, and underage drinking. I do not believe that the perceived sense of safety outweighs how much colleges infringe on privacy. Cameras and surveillance help to erode a safe space, or paints us as subjects controlled instead of members of a community. These cameras use facial recognition, according to my university, which is tied to your student ID picture you submit or take. Surveillance also helps give the feeling of safety, but many crimes, when they do happen, end up unsolved. Students are also turned away from expressing their true views or political beliefs or their First Amendment rights to protest and speak out for certain pressing topics, like supporting Palestine, for fear of retribution or getting a student conduct hearing because they tracked you to your dorm and found out who you were.
  
  The university, although not requiring it, almost all classes prescribe that you have certain software installed on your personal laptops for quizzes and tests. Many of these software are known spyware, and the fact that tests require you to have your webcam on to monitor your face and movements with AI and human flag review to analyze whether or not, based on a preponderance, you were cheating. Where does that data get stored, and who holds these private third-party companies accountable for it? And my university and many others use ""eduroam"" as their main Wifi, and upon connecting it to a device, can practically log to university administration anything you search up and any websites you visit, and just based off of the unique URL links, probably what you did or interacted with on such websites.
  
  And you would think that the information gathered through these surveillance, at least pertaining to you, would be (a) public information or at the very least accessible through a FOIA request, and (b) that only sworn campus police officers, who are law enforcement, can access them. You'd be wrong on both. At least in my state, the custodian in charge of these records can pull a ""narrow restriction"" clause and widen it to his discretion as large as he wants, to classify entire records as not required to be released, rather than redact certain information, even if all the information pertains to you. And in reality, any designee of the university can access these records. In theory, any staff member could access these records or information or recordings, and the university will not comment on any hierarchy or a need-to-know basis.
  
  How much privacy should be sacrificed for 'safety'?","[{'e1': 'you', 'e2': 'your student ID', 'relation': 'scan', 'condition': 'to access the library to study'}, {'e1': 'you', 'e2': 'your ID', 'relation': 'scan', 'condition': 'to get food with your friend'}, {'e1': 'you', 'e2': 'your ID', 'relation': 'scan', 'condition': 'to access a faculty hall because you have a class soon'}, {'e1': 'you', 'e2': 'your student ID', 'relation': 'scan', 'condition': 'to speak to a professor for office hours'}, {'e1': 'you', 'e2': 'your ID', 'relation': 'scan', 'condition': 'to go to the gym, use the pool, print papers, do laundry, or use campus transportation'}, {'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'to a database', 'relation': 'is logged', 'condition': 'when you scan your ID'}, {'e1': 'colleges', 'e2': 'surveillance tools', 'relation': 'have implemented', 'condition': 'in the name of security and safety'}, {'e1': 'cameras', 'e2': 'smoke detectors or lights', 'relation': 'are designed to look like', 'condition': 'in my classrooms'}, {'e1': 'cameras', 'e2': 'in hallways', 'relation': 'are perched', 'condition': 'in my dorm building'}]"
299,P0300,1s8qpjc,"Over 100,000 people are on the kidney waitlist in the US alone. Every day, \*\*13 people die waiting\*\* (in the US). If you are young and healthy, the risk of dying is tiny, only .03%. Most donors recover in about 2 weeks.
  
  Donating a kidney gives someone 10-15 years of life they wouldn’t have otherwise. You’re trading a couple weeks of soreness and interruption of your life to save someone else’s. Choosing not to hep when the risk is this low seems like watching someone drown and doing nothing.
  
  So yeah, healthy young childless people should donate a kidney by default. CMV
  
  Edit: I am donating my kidney to a stranger tomorrow.","[{'e1': 'Over 100,000 people ', 'e2': 'the kidney waitlist ', 'relation': 'are on ', 'condition': 'in the US alone'}, {'e1': ' the risk of dying', 'e2': ' tiny, only .03%', 'relation': ' is', 'condition': 'If you are young and healthy'}, {'e1': 'healthy young childless people ', 'e2': 'a kidney ', 'relation': 'should donate ', 'condition': 'by default'}, {'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'my kidney to a stranger', 'relation': 'am donating ', 'condition': ' tomorrow.'}]"
300,P0301,1s8sz31,"First of all I will like to start with the fact that openai literally signed a contract with the US government that allows the government to 1.use ai to automate killing without a human's permission 2. Use their AI for mass surveillance, keeping in mind that this isn't the only instance in which something like this has happened (ai collects your data) I can't support ai but you'll say that's only one company.
  
  which brings me to my second point that AI is quite literally an over inflated bubble, ai is what's holding up the us economy but no AI has made any money in the time from which it was introduced till date now you may think that it's the US economy but no if and when the AI bubble pops it can and most probably will cause a recession on par with 2008 crisis. All AI companies are investing in one another and pumping the balloon but no real money is being made. 
  
  Now, my third point AI is destructive to the environment, AI consumes a lot of water causing water scarcity in many parts where AI data centres are present plus ai consumes electricity too, causing electricity prices to go up as well in those places.
  
  My fourth point is something that not all are concerned with but AI companies are buying up all the computer parts causing most tech to go up in prices such as but not limited to graphics cards, RAM, consoles etc. 
  
  My fifth point is that ai is quite literally useless for most things all workers of all places where AI has been implemented have said that AI has only increased their workload.
  
  My sixth point is that as an aspiring author AI has oversaturated the market with terrible books, advertisements(i suppose you have seen those ai ads on YouTube.) and art, we need real artists and writers over these useless so called ai artists and authors.
  
  My seventh point is that we've gotten too used to ai in the little time we've been exposed to it almost everyone I know uses ai and it's causing us to not think deeply about things because ""ai will do it for us"", this mindset can in the worst case scenario lead to a post literate society. It has already been observed in many first world countries that the younger generations(such as gen z, gen alpha and gen beta) are overdependent on ai for every small task causing a decline in thinking. My last point is inherently stupid and doesn't know anything yet so many consider everything it says to be true and use chatgpt as a valid source. That brings me to the end of my argument, I hope you read the whole thing and understand my thinking. I may not reply within three hours but will gladly do so by Tommorow. 
  Edit: my title is a bit misleading I meant to say AI companies are evil.","[{'e1': ' AI', 'e2': 'a recession on par with 2008 crisis', 'relation': 'will cause ', 'condition': 'if and when the AI bubble pops'}, {'e1': 'AI ', 'e2': 'water causing water scarcity ', 'relation': 'consumes a lot of ', 'condition': 'in many parts where AI data centres are present'}]"
301,P0302,1s916nw,"I think that English will **never** replace other European languages, unless humanity unites (which is not guaranteed).
  
  It is a common fact that the Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries are among the best non-native speakers of English in Europe. I frequently see discussions on whether English will replace native languages. Let's take the Netherlands as an example:
  
  **1. Lack of native-level linguistic intuition**
  
  Good command of a language does not mean that people who know the language communicate as quickly and effectively in it as in their native language. Many Dutch people may frequently use words in contexts such as “henceforth” or “ergo” where native English speakers would not. 
  The second barrier is the absence of cultural foundations and idiomatic depth. 
  The third and most complex barrier preventing the widespread use of English *at home* is processing speed. English simply requires more cognitive resources for spoken language. There is no strong incentive for Dutch and Swedish people to master and intuit English at a native level, and there is no true bilingualism (see definition in point 4).
  
  **2**. **Secondly, and most importantly, it is simply** ***not*** **how languages become extinct.**
  
  Frisian and Faroese are endangered because they exist in conditions where there is a strong incentive, a bottom-up vital need (meaning you can't live normally without speaking the more prestigious language):
  
  • The replaced language lacks its own country to preserve it (not the case with Dutch) 
  • The replaced language’s speakers are small in number, scattered, or isolated (not Dutch) 
  • The replaced language exists on a close ethnolinguistic continuum with the replacing language (Dutch is closer to German than to English; in the case of Frisians, they are disconnected from the English, to whom they are closer linguistically, and live literally with the Dutch, speeding up assimilation) 
  • If one’s goal is integration and assimilation into Dutch society, one needs to learn Dutch and speak it fluently. Otherwise, one would most likely engage only in semi-superficial conversations with most locals and would remain merely an acquaintance. This is the strongest bottom-up incentive.
  
  Or there may be a clear top-down incentive in the form of legal requirements in certain spaces and overall encouragement by the state to learn it. Maybe I am mistaken (I don't know much about the Netherlands), but I guess that nowadays English is not regarded as the foundation of identity and culture there.
  
  It is not a British colony, and it cannot anglicize the country forcefully either.
  
  **3.** The majority of people in the Netherlands communicate in Dutch **at home**, not in English.
  
  **4.** **First and second languages are processed differently in the brain**
  
  A native language, or first language, is essentially very different in nature from a second (mastered) language, unless you are true bilingual.
  
  About true bilinguals, it is not for nothing that the first language is called the mother tongue. Even if you know the second language very well (mastered, not true bilingual), you still dream in your first language, and the limbic system in your brain *processes* curse words and embarrassing phrases differently. 
  Many people find that it's much easier to confess love in a foreign language, and swear words hurt us much less. 
  • Emotional processing is stronger in L1 
  • Swear words trigger stronger autonomic responses in L1 
  • Cognitive load decreases with proficiency
  
  **5.** I have doubts that the majority of people in the Netherlands are true bilinguals.
  
  By “true bilinguals” I mean exactly the third point - being bilingual means considering English as native as Dutch, to the point of dreaming in English, having linguistic intuition and communicating without any cognitive load.
  
  **6.** Many people will mention that many people in Africa (like Congo) speak French as true bilinguals/natives. But it was a Belgian colony, where there were top-down language enforcement and a strong combination of incentives. The Netherlands, again, is not a British colony.
  
  True bilinguals include the Welsh in Britain and Tatars in Russia, where many people know both languages as native, thus being true bilinguals. I don't know if people in the Netherlands and Scandinavia are on that level.
  
  **7.** It seems that internationally English performs the function of Latin or Persian, and not French in Congo or English in Ireland, and is therefore unable to replace Dutch in everyday life.
  
  
  
  English therefore functions primarily as a global lingua franca rather than a replacement language, more factors simply need to emerge that penetrate into simple everyday life.","[{'e1': 'English ', 'e2': 'other European languages', 'relation': 'will never replace ', 'condition': 'unless humanity unites'}, {'e1': 'the Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries ', 'e2': 'the best non-native speakers of English ', 'relation': 'are among ', 'condition': 'in Europe'}, {'e1': 'Many Dutch people ', 'e2': 'words such as “henceforth” or “ergo” ', 'relation': 'may frequently use ', 'condition': 'in contexts where native English speakers would not'}, {'e1': 'Processing speed', 'e2': 'the widespread use of English ', 'relation': 'prevents', 'condition': 'at home'}, {'e1': ' English ', 'e2': 'more cognitive resources ', 'relation': 'simply requires ', 'condition': 'for spoken language'}, {'e1': ' Dutch and Swedish people ', 'e2': 'no strong incentive to master and intuit English ', 'relation': 'have ', 'condition': 'at a native level'}, {'e1': ' one ', 'e2': 'Dutch and speak it fluently', 'relation': 'needs to learn ', 'condition': 'If one’s goal is integration and assimilation into Dutch society'}, {'e1': 'A native language', 'e2': 'a second (mastered) language ', 'relation': ' is essentially very different in nature from ', 'condition': 'unless you are true bilingual'}, {'e1': 'Swear words', 'e2': 'stronger autonomic responses ', 'relation': ' trigger ', 'condition': 'in L1'}]"
302,P0303,1s91nhl,"i feel like it’s become so normalized to go online and say “this celeb has a disgusting emaciated body” “this celeb is starving herself” “everyone at the oscar’s looks scarily skinny”. i feel like this is just body shaming and maybe it’s out of concern but imagine someone posting that about you. 
  
  i always look up the girls or looks they’re talking about and think oh they just look like me. i’m underweight because of OCD and mild autism which give me a lot of good aversions but i eat enough to function and work and go to school etc. 
  
  if i was a celeb im sure id have ED allegations and it would devastate me to see my body talked about like that when i cant do shit about it. it makes me insecure to see all these videos of girls hating on bodies like mine. not to mention it just makes more girls go look up these women that are supposedly dangerously thin and validates the celebs that do have an ED. 
  
  i want to make it extremely clear i don’t think this is worse than or as bad as fat shaming, i just think it’s not good. lmk if you disagree","[{'e1': ' I ', 'e2': 'ED allegations', 'relation': 'would have ', 'condition': 'if i was a celeb'}]"
303,P0304,1s91skt,"I believe that no credence at all should be given to the views of almost the entire country when it comes to the performance of the judicial branch, and specifically the Supreme Court. First, most discussion centers on policy and ignores legal doctrine. Second, the judiciary’s independence means that their popularity is (and should be) irrelevant.
  
  # Ignorance of Legality
  
  First, almost nobody knows anything about what SCOTUS is doing. Today’s case is a great example. The clickbait headlines read like “Conservative Supreme Court Approves Conversion Therapy for LGBTQ Children.” Everything about that headline is wrong, from its most basic precepts to each part of the sentence itself: (1) the Supreme Court is not conservative in any meaningful way, (2) not just the “conservative” Justices voted in favor of the decision, (3) the Court did not “approve” of anything, but just affirmed that speech is indeed protected by the First Amendment.
  
  Of course, 1 and 2 are relatively minor points. Point 3 is really where I think people have no clue what they’re talking about. What almost everyone considers when talking about Supreme Court decisions is not the legal doctrine at play or the rationale the Court uses, but just the outcome. People see that the good side won and they clap, or they see that the bad side won and they boo.
  
  But a sane society should not want judges to think that way at all. Judging, in a free country, is about applying the law as the people have decided it. Of course, that can include “striking down” laws that conflict with the people’s constitution too. What judges \*must not be\* is an exercise in decided what policy the country should adopt; judges are supposed to be good lawyers who can resolve legal disputes, not philosopher-kings who get to decide the general direction of society. The latter vision of judges, however, is the one that most people tacitly embrace when they express their discontent with the policy results of a decision (and don’t grapple with the decision’s reasoning).
  
  If you take issue with a judge’s rationale, then read the opinion and say so. If you take issue with a judge’s correct application of the law, then you ought to take issue with the law instead of with the judge. For an honest judge, the rule ought to be “garbage in, garbage out,” for it is not the role of a judge to decide what laws are “garbage” except as the Constitution commands.
  
  # Judicial Independence
  
  In the U.S., judges are independent. Federal judges are appointed for life and are virtually never held to account for their decisions. (And those are both good things, by the way).
  
  The system was thus designed in order to insulate judges from popular frustration with their opinions. After all, what’s the purpose of having a written constitution if a judge applying it has to worry about whether he’ll be popular? There would be none. A good judge, then, is one who can ignore the masses and make a rational decision based on relevant texts and evidence, not based on the majority’s preferred policy outcome.
  
  If we live and want to continue to live in a system where judges are independent, we need to stop making every case a political issue, attacking judges, and honestly, having non-doctrinal discussions about cases generally. They are just not productive in any meaningful way for our country.
  
  # How to CMV
  
  You can CMV by demonstrating that the factors I’ve listed — basically that most people have no credibility in these discussions and even if they did, judges and the people should ignore them anyway — are irrelevant, are wrong, or are outweighed by some other consideration.","[{'e1': 'no credence ', 'e2': 'the views of almost the entire country ', 'relation': 'should be given to ', 'condition': 'when it comes to the performance of the judicial branch'}, {'e1': 'Judging ', 'e2': 'the law', 'relation': 'is about applying ', 'condition': 'in a free country'}, {'e1': ' most people ', 'e2': 'The latter vision of judges', 'relation': 'tacitly embrace ', 'condition': 'when they express their discontent with the policy results of a decision'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': 'the opinion and say so', 'relation': 'read ', 'condition': 'If you take issue with a judge’s rationale'}, {'e1': ' you ', 'e2': ' the law instead of with the judge', 'relation': 'ought to take issue with', 'condition': 'If you take issue with a judge’s correct application of the law'}, {'e1': 'the rule', 'e2': '“garbage in, garbage out,”', 'relation': ' ought to be ', 'condition': 'For an honest judge'}, {'e1': 'a judge ', 'e2': 'what laws are “garbage” ', 'relation': 'should not decide ', 'condition': 'except as the Constitution commands.'}, {'e1': 'judges ', 'e2': 'independent', 'relation': 'are ', 'condition': 'In the U.S'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'every case a political issue', 'relation': 'need to stop making ', 'condition': 'If we live and want to continue to live in a system where judges are independent'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': 'attacking judges', 'relation': 'need to stop', 'condition': 'If we live and want to continue to live in a system where judges are independent'}, {'e1': ' we ', 'e2': ' non-doctrinal discussions about cases generally', 'relation': 'need to stop having', 'condition': 'If we live and want to continue to live in a system where judges are independent'}]"
304,P0305,1s9r7b2,"For years I’ve happily subscribed to the Atlantic — I still do — for its great journalism and diversity of views. You can read articles from the far left, the center and even the center right if you like and gain a variety of new perspectives. 
  
  Great, right?
  
  Wrong! Says the Left. Actually, and in typical leftist fashion, it’s actually “The Worst Magazine in America” according to the latest issue of Current Affairs magazine where the the headline and article savagely attack The Atlantic for not being as Anti-Right as they’d like them to be. 
  
  I was completely taken aback by this shot across the bow but on further research it looks like it’s an actual thing on all the far left/progressive subs r/longform r/behindthebastards r/stupidpol r/workreform they’re all of the opinion the Atlantic is asinine drivel, poisoning the peoples minds and eyes with misleading words and diverting them from the path of progress. 
  
  But this right here is what I mean when I say “eating it’s own”. Only on the Left do we turn on centrists and moderates with as much scorn and venom as if they were full, unrepentant MAGA supporters. The right doesn’t have this problem. Good lord, Donald Trump’s FDA legalized a OTC abortion medication and it did nothing to his coalition. Meanwhile the Left is trying to sink its teeth into well meaning, educated and decent writers at the Atlantic for not being the Jacobin.","[{'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'the far left, the center and even the center right ', 'relation': 'can read articles from ', 'condition': 'if you like and gain a variety of new perspectives. '}]"
305,P0306,1s9wft6,"A core part of liberal democracy depends on people's ability to disagree, criticize, and exchange different ideas without threats of violence.
  
  While many people look at from their economic contribution (tax payer or tax receiver) or language proficiency, I believe the ""blasphemy test"" is one of the most accurate metric for their compatibility with a liberal democracy.
  
  In such cases, a person's reaction can be divided into the following:
  
  |Types of Reaction|Compatibility|What is leades to|
  |:-|:-|:-|
  |Violence / Threats|Incompatible|Rejection of the rule of law social contract and free expression.|
  |Demands for Censorship|Low compatibility|They prefer theocratic control / authoritarian rule and will bring that value.|
  |Peaceful Disagreement / Indifference / Avoidance / Tolerance|Higher to Full Compatibility|Acceptance of democratic norms|
  ||||
  
  This is a possible catch-all test to test one's (1) tendency to use violence or intimidation (2) future demand for theocratic law / separate system (3) ability to live in a pluristic society (4) cultural requirement to live with others.","[{'e1': 'liberal democracy ', 'e2': ""people's ability to disagree, criticize, and exchange different ideas "", 'relation': 'depends on ', 'condition': 'without threats of violence.'}]"
306,P0307,1saj2fb,"This should apply to gasoline, diesel, jet fuel, anything burned. Not necessarily to plastics or medications made from oil.
  
  But basically, it seems that we have two major problems with oil. First, that we're burning too much of it and causing mass extinctions via climate change. Possibly including our own. Second, that rapid price increases cause pain to consumers. To the point that Trump - a man who loves Tit for Tat - refuses to use the obviously-correct Tit for Tat strategy regarding the Strait of Hormuz. Even though the US is a net oil *producer*, he knows spiking oil prices will drive public sentiment against him more severely than his most egregious misdeeds.
  
  In my opinion a tax could be passed that addresses both problems at once. Add a couple bucks a gallon to gasoline/diesel/jet fuel/etc in taxes (indexed to inflation or to the 5-year average crude oil price). For every penny gas prices go up from their 5 year average, drop the tax by half a cent. For every penny gas prices go down from their 5 year average, increase the tax half a cent. This should raise the average price of gasoline by $2 a gallon (still below European levels), encouraging more efficient auto choices. But it should partially insulate drivers from geopolitical factors, making price swings at the pump half as large as they would be today.
  
  Obviously by reducing price swings for US consumers, it makes price swings a little larger elsewhere (for raw materials, for other countries, etc). I don't think that's necessarily a huge deal, since other countries can pass their own versions if appropriate and since manufacturing can do more strategic timing of purchases. But overall, I think the goal here (reduce overall oil consumption, reduce oil price variation) would be a positive change for the US, and I think this sort of law would produce that change.","[{'e1': 'Burning of oil', 'e2': 'mass extinctions', 'relation': 'causes', 'condition': 'via climate change'}]"
307,P0308,1sbawzl,"Look, we all do it. It’s part of life. If someone can’t fart in front of their partner, then they have to (literally) hold back in front of them. That means they can’t really be themselves in a pretty basic sense. This especially gets problematic as they move in together, etc. Then they aren’t even comfortable in their own home! If you get married, it potentially becomes a lifelong dilemma. So: you’re not truly in a comfortable relationship until both partners can fart in front of each other, ladies included.
  
  Edit: Funny to have this tagged as a “fresh topic”.","[{'e1': 'you', 'e2': 'a comfortable relationship ', 'relation': 'are not truly in ', 'condition': 'until both partners can fart in front of each other'}]"
308,P0309,1sbgx30,"So my view is pretty simple about the question of ""worm souls"" (or whatever you'd like to call their state of being), when you cut the worm in half, it's a form of asexual reproduction. After you cut the worm in half, the original one is dead, as you've just created two distinct organisms. Yes the worm's body is unchanged (aside from the split), but you've just created two organisms with two separate identities, neither of which are a full worm. 
  
  Eventually those two organisms will die, and if animals are included in an afterlife, they will meet their parent worm soul in the afterlife. There is now the original worm, and it's two half worms. So that's three worm souls in the afterlife.
  
  But I'm guessing (and my guess could be wrong btw) that a lot people might consider this scenario to include just two or even one worm soul. So if you're of this belief, change my view. Side note, I am an agnostic theist, (if that helps you frame your argument.) Also happy fresh topic friday!","[{'e1': 'worm souls ', 'e2': 'parent worm soul ', 'relation': 'will meet their ', 'condition': 'in the afterlife, if animals are included in an afterlife'}]"
309,P0310,1sbhfz8,"This CMV was sparked by a news item of a 67 year old woman falling for a fake policeman scam: guy in a fake uniform turns up at your door, warns you about burglars in your area and offers to look after your valuables. 
  
  
  
  Obviously younger people fall for (different) scams all the time too. But wise people wouldn't. Also, obviously I am not claiming that there are no old wise people, only that there is no (longer) a positive general statistical correlation. I am also thinking specifically of the old (mid-60s and up) rather than the elderly (80 and up), which would be too easy.
  
  
  Main reasoning
  
  
  1) Out of date knowledge/experience: In the past, the life experience of the old would have been a valuable resource. They were the repositories of society's knowledge. But these days 1) we have other more efficient ways of learning things (books, etc) and 2) the speed of change puts knowledge acquired by experience out of date very quickly, e.g. within organisations or the norms and institutions of wider society.
  
  
  2) One might suppose that at least old people would gain 'ethical wisdom' from their life experience, such as thoughtfulness towards others, resilience to setbacks, etc. But our brains literally shrink as we age, which reduces cognitive functioning and makes older people more prone to irritability, stubbornness, etc.","[{'e1': ' the life experience of the old ', 'e2': ' a valuable resource', 'relation': 'would have been', 'condition': 'In the past'}]"
310,P0311,1sbkmtu,"Hi all,
  
  **CMV: Donor conception is \*almost always\* societally accepted legal eugenics, despite eugenics being something most people claim to be against.**
  
  **As a society, my view is we should either bluntly admit we are supporting and purpoting eugenetics for the ""greater good."" OR, donor conception should be against the law.**
  
  I'll be the first to say out the gate that I'm (sperm) donor concieved, so it goes without saying I'm a bit biased. I'm using my anecdotes in some of the arguments below. That being said, please understand I am making those post with the intent to be openminded. I also have degrees in biology/have worked in genetics research a bit, so please feel free to speak to me with the associated jargon, if you have the background to do so.
  
  * Many banks brag they only select 1/200 (or even less) of donor applicants through their ""rigorous"" genetic screening.
  * I'm well willing to concede that some people have genetic makeups that result in serious medical issues. This is still eugenics to withold, but at least a little understandable. But 0.5%? Wild. Fucking wild.
  * There is a big culture around choosing the ""perfect"" embryo or donor.
  * Want blue eyes and blonde hair? Try 2056! Want a genius with 148IQ? Try 3078! Want a pro athlete? 5967! Want longevity? Well just *look* at this guys family history!
  * I myself had my donor selected for some of these traits.
  * When a donor has a lot of children with ASD, ADHD, etc issue, their sperm are witheld and treated as impure.
  * This happened to myself and my half sibs. We genetically inherited autism from an undiagnosed donor (like... over 70% of us have autism, many of us had therapy and treatment as kids). It was strongly withheld once this happened.
  * \[THIS VIEW CHANGED PLEASE STOP SPAMMING\] Even for those who ""need"" donor conception (e.g. LGBTQ couples or infertile men/women), adoption is always a far cheaper, more ethical, and practical option.
  * Most of these individuals either willingly, unwillingly, or unknowingly participate in the eugenics industry/process.
  * *Deltas: Adoption is not often more ethical. Often more expensive for many. Does not allow LGBTQ couples to have any genetic say in their offspring, ever. Thank you for all who replied. I think I'm missing a few points but know I read them if I responded and I appreciate you all for bringing these to my attention. I had anecdotes that misled me here and that's on me for not doing my new diligence.*
  * Banks often have up to 20-30 actual children from the same donor. **IMPORTANT META CLARIFICATION EDIT FROM DCP COMMUNITY: 20/30 is the approximate average per donor. Many donors have HUNDREDs of children and the family max is usually 25.** This results in, especially in modern society with low birth rates, a significant genetic drift towards these ""pure,"" top 0.5%, DNA lines.
  * You have the option to pick BOTH donors and do embryo donorism.
  * You and boo too dumb or ugly? No worries! You can get 2381 and 8402 over here to glam your kids up.
  * Further ""pre-screenings"" and gene edits are threatening to make this issue worse. It's possible to use a donor ""background"" and screen/edit to make sure youre getting exactly what you want (not sure how much of this is public yet tbh, I know the screenings are but I think the gene edits are still in a weird developing zone).
  * Not rlly eugenics but generally unethical:
  * Those born from donor conception often don't have updated access to medical history, especially if the donor is anonymous.
  * Many children are lied to for years (leading to giving doctors incorrect information).
  * Many of my sibs didn't know they were donor concieved until they took a DNA test or became an adult. Huge emotional and oftimes physical toll to be DC.
  * Most banks have horrible services for donor concieved children/adults.
  
  There's more but this is getting long. I'll elaborate more in the replies if I feel like I have to, lol.
  
  Edit: This post is blowing up fast and I'm having a hard time keeping up. I want to add a larger meta additions to immediate callouts:
  
  **1. I see this different from regular sexual selection in dating because it is no longer about you and your partner. It is about you, the company who already selected your pool, and searching for a number with the best ""stats"" you want for your kid. It is so vastly artificial and commodified I simply don't see it as being the same as dating someone.**
  
  **2. Regarding genetic screening 100% being for LETHAL medical reasons only. No. This is objectively not true anymore. Please look into polygenetic embryo screening (PES): Brief layman source below:** 
  ""From there, prospective parents are investing thousands in different types of next-level embryo screening that can essentially spin up versions of your future children’s health prospects by showing their risk of inherited diseases, childhood cancers, schizophrenia, autism (BIG QUESTION IS IF AUTISM SHOULD BE GENETICALLY SCREENED OUT, TBH), and Types 1 and 2 diabetes. Other traits like height, body mass index, musical ability, and higher IQ points are also among the offerings at certain firms.""
  
  [https://fortune.com/2025/11/29/ivf-silicon-valley-billionaire-baby/](https://fortune.com/2025/11/29/ivf-silicon-valley-billionaire-baby/)
  
  Another good source regarding the ethics:
  
  [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11369226/](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11369226/)
  
  **3. Eugenics was defined before WW2 (1883 - Francis Galton). I gave an Oxford definition that I think is still apt in many replies, but was looking into this due to a different comment, and this was the original pre-wwii definition: defining it as the study of all agencies under human control which can improve or impair the racial quality of future generations.** //// !!! **(lmfao holy shit quote given in the threads was in an oxford article, NOT the oxford definition, and ended up being a secondary source that was from here** [**https://cnu.libguides.com/eugenics**](https://cnu.libguides.com/eugenics) **. Thank you to the commenter who pointed that out. Sorry for the confusion. That's on me, I sincerely apologize.)**
  
  **The prior source is still reputable, but because the definition is complex: Sources for definition (which was more or less the same, but I wanted to be clear & honest about that mistake):**
  
  Oxford: [https://www.oed.com/dictionary/eugenics\_n?tab=factsheet#1290206680](https://www.oed.com/dictionary/eugenics_n?tab=factsheet#1290206680) 
  NIH: [https://www.genome.gov/genetics-glossary/Eugenics](https://www.genome.gov/genetics-glossary/Eugenics)
  
  NIH Again: [https://www.genome.gov/about-genomics/fact-sheets/Eugenics-and-Scientific-Racism](https://www.genome.gov/about-genomics/fact-sheets/Eugenics-and-Scientific-Racism) 
  Nature Paper discussing it (1904): [https://www.nature.com/articles/070082a0](https://www.nature.com/articles/070082a0)
  
  Edit 2: Yall, it's getting to the point I can't reply to everyone for my sanity ;-;. Thanks for all the attention to this post! I hope some people learned something today or were able to develop their view on this issue, whether you agree with me or not :) <3","[{'e1': 'Many banks ', 'e2': '1/200 (or even less) of donor applicants ', 'relation': 'brag they only select ', 'condition': 'through their ""rigorous"" genetic screening'}, {'e1': 'sperm ', 'e2': 'impure', 'relation': 'is witheld and treated as ', 'condition': 'When a donor has a lot of children with ASD, ADHD, etc issue'}, {'e1': 'Many of my sibs ', 'e2': 'donor concieved ', 'relation': ""didn't know they were "", 'condition': 'until they took a DNA test'}, {'e1': 'Many of my sibs ', 'e2': 'donor concieved ', 'relation': ""didn't know they were "", 'condition': 'until they became an adult'}]"
311,P0312,1sbs1f1,"I have a hunch that your ability to read a passage or book ""expressively"" is a great litmus test for reading comprehension. 
  
  I see quite a few people on Reddit claim that when they read out loud, their comprehension drops. **My argument would be that these people are likely underestimating their reading comprehension ability and are leaving a lot on the table they could gain if only they mastered reading out loud.**
  
  My anecdotal story is this: In my undergraduate education, I had to read a lot of textbooks. Like many, I often struggled to keep my attention on what I was reading and I would struggle to summarize afterward what I had processed. I might be able to tell you high level points and perhaps some tidbits, but I struggled to produce a mental map of the content. Mind you, I read quite a bit both during and after my undergrad: some 20-50 books a year.
  
  Then I had my oldest daughter a few years later, and began reading Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter to her out loud (before she was old enough to have an opinion about *what* I read to her, haha). The initial months were a bit of a slog. Like others' experience, I felt I wasn't capturing a lot since most of my mental energy was spent trying to decode semantic meaning that I hadn't noticed before; it was only emerging now that I had to put voice to the words. Years later, reading out loud is now second nature to me, the difference between my comprehension before and after is night and day, and in graduate education, it has become my basis for achieving higher grades in more competitive programs than I ever did in my undergrad.
  
  It appears there may be research that supports this. From *Reading expressively and understanding thoroughly*, a paper published by Binder et. all in 2012, they processed audio of adults reading out loud and analyzed it alongside tests of reading comprehension. They were analyzing the *prosody* of adults:
  
  >Prosodic reading is the ability to read in expressive rhythmic and melodic patterns. Prosodic readers segment text into meaningful units marked by appropriate prosodic cues such as pauses, varied duration of those pauses, the raising and lowering of pitch, and lengthening of certain vowel sounds (Dowhower, 1991)
  
  They found that, on several measures, lower reading comprehension was strongly correlated with poorer prosodic reading.
  
  Another relevant idea is that Oral Reading Fluency scoring of children is broadly accepted to be a robust indicator of reading comprehension among children. To relate it to the study just before, they found that their results replicated quite easily between children and adults.
  
  Ultimately, I'm not arguing causation—that good prosody equals comprehension—and certainly not an absolute rule, but rather as a solid ""litmus test"" as I suggested at the beginning of my post.
  
  *I don't think the claims of many Reddit users that reading aloud harms their reading comprehension holds water. Instead, I think they've probably mastered ""skimming"" and aren't comprehending quite as much as they'd think.*
  
  Change my view!","[{'e1': ' lower reading comprehension ', 'e2': ' poorer prosodic reading.', 'relation': 'was strongly correlated with', 'condition': 'on several measures'}, {'e1': ' Oral Reading Fluency scoring of children ', 'e2': 'reading comprehension ', 'relation': 'is broadly accepted to be a robust indicator of ', 'condition': 'among children'}]"
312,P0313,1sbvfd9,"The military is not a game. It is an arena of plausible deaths, not just a place for feminists to earn decorum by virtue of being tokens. 
  
  
  Multiple studies have highlighted that units with women are less successful. 
  
  
  To add a full perspective, female snipers, on average, outperform males, and should be allowed. 
  
  
  Were this a regular workplace, and not a high stakes situation where adding gender equality risks the lives even further of service members, I wouldn't make this argument. 
  
  I think the Trump administration firing women in charge who have proven themselves competent is backlash for the women demanding to be included by demanding to lower the physical fitness requirements. 
  
  I am female, and as much as I like the idea of equality, I wouldn't impose a group of people who cannot, statistically (and by a significant margin) perform as well as males.
  
  We are life givers AND takers, but sniping is the ONLY category where we don't make things more difficult overall, it seems.","[{'e1': 'female snipers ', 'e2': 'males', 'relation': 'outperform ', 'condition': ' on average'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'this argument.', 'relation': "" wouldn't make "", 'condition': 'Were this a regular workplace'}]"
313,P0314,1sby5lg,"TL: DR 
  
  \- boyfriend used to be nice
  
  \- now he is lazy and cold
  
  \- doesn’t call me or update me on his day
  
  \- doesn’t try and make conversation with me
  
  \- won’t compliment me incase it gives me a big head
  
  \- compliments other girls 
  
  \- won’t say he misses me or will outright say he doesn’t when I haven’t seen him in over a month. 
  
  \- broken up twice 1st time he gave no reason 2nd time is cos I said he was hurting my feelings by bailing on our plans and standing me up / breaking my trust 
  
  Hi I F 23 have been with my boyfriend M 24 for around 10 months. The relationship started off pretty slow and steady we spent a lot of time getting to know each other before getting into a relationship etc and it all seemed perfect at first. 
  
  Over time his behaviour has been massively declining. I went all the way down see him I travelled about 4 hours and spent £80 to see him. He broke up with me the day I arrived and sent me home the next morning. I sobbed and sobbed and he just left me to cry. He then spent 2 weeks still speaking to me on the phone and then asked for us to get back together which I agreed to but he didn’t apologise until I asked him multiple times to. 
  
  2 weeks after that he broke up with me again because I told him that him making promises to spend time with me then ditching me for his Xbox or to livestream was hurtful and was breaking trust as he wasn’t communicating that the plans would change, he would just simply not show up. 
  
  We had a really long conversation about how he needs to make more effort and to keep promises amongst a lot of other issues I had in the relationship. He agreed to all of it said he understood and wanted to be better for the sake of the relationship
  
  Following this conversation we got back together a second time and he literally barely speaks to me at all. During the day he will text me hours apart with 1/2 word responses and I have to make all of the effort to keep a conversation going. He also doesn’t call me anymore. When we’d broken up he would say he barley slept when we weren’t together and he felt empty not having me around but as soon as I’m back he doesn’t speak to me or call me at all. 
  
  I don’t receive any good morning or good night messages, he doesn’t update me on his day at all he will just dissapear for hours at a time and then when I’ve asked him what he’s been up to he will just say “been out” or somethjng similar. 
  
  He also likes to say he’s going out with friends for a drive at 2 in the morning and then refuse to tell me who he’s going out with and then he will never go. (just for clarity I’ve never told him he can’t go only asked who he’s going with) when I ask he will tell me I’m being demanding so he won’t tell me. I’m convinced these outings were never real and he was doing it to provoke a reaction from me. 
  
  When I say I miss him he will refuse to say it back. I’ve not seen him in over a month (long distance) and I told him yesterday I missed him. He didn’t say it back so I said “do you not miss me” he said not really I’m busy and so I asked what he was doing and he said going to bed. 
  
  When I say I love him or anything sweet he will just say “gay” and never return the affection. He also says he won’t compliment me because he doesn’t want to make me delusional and have a big head but I’ve caught him messaging other girls complimenting them on several occasions. 
  
  I asked to call him today as we’ve barely spoken in days and he said maybe if I’m lucky and that his aura was expensive. 
  
  I think I’ve icked myself out enough writing this to be honest. I just need advice on how to break up with him respectfully and stand on it without caving and taking him back 😭.","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': ""won't say he misses or outrightly says he doesn't miss"", 'condition': 'when I have not seen in over a month'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'did not apologize to', 'condition': 'until I asked him multiple times'}]"
314,P0315,1sbqw1a,"Ik we’re young and this might be a very dumb/childish issue. But it’s still an issue and idk who to talk to about this. 
  
  We have been dating for 3 years. We started in freshman year of college and now we’re seniors about to graduate. We have experienced all of college together even studying abroad. 
  
  We have always been labeled as the weird couple because of how we act with other people. We both cut off our other gender friends when we started dating, we never talk or chat or anything with people of the other gender, we have always been very strict on that. (This was her idea and I thought it was a good idea so I went with it) I have always followed that to a tee. Never talked with any other girl to the point where I am known for being an “asshole” to other girls. (I’m not, I just don’t show interest and just ignore them if I am ever approached or something) From what I know, she has been like that too and is known like that too by other guys. 
  
  I rarely go out. I’m in college, I work, I am a pilot, and train for Ironmans. So I have my plate pretty full. She’s only a student, so she has a lot of free time and usually likes to go out on the weekends with her friends because I don’t like to go out or am always too tired to go out. If I ever hang out with my friends it’s only guys and in their apartments or my house or something like that which I also rarely do due to my schedule. 
  
  We have had issues in the past where she cannot control her alcohol. She would go out with her friends, get blackout drunk, and I would lose contact with her until the morning after or she would do something dumb. But never with other guys and she has never ever even slightly cheated on me. I know that for a fact. 
  
  The weekend of Valentine’s Day (Saturday) she went out with her friends on Friday. I was taking her out on Saturday for Valentine’s Day. While she was out. She updated me that she was at a bar with her friends at 11pm. Then I went to sleep at 12am. I said goodnight, she said goodnight and that was it. She never texted me the time she got home or anything. (She usually does that) Until the next day at dinner I brought it up and she told me very dryly that she went out with her friends then went home after the bar and slept. That was it. 
  
  2 months later. A rumor gets to me that she was flirting with another guy that night. I ask her, and she confesses everything. Apparently she got really drunk that night. After the bar, her and her friends went to some guys apartment for an after-party. While they were there, the owner of the apartment comes up to my gf and pulls her aside. He confesses that he has feelings for her and he wants to be with her even though he knows she’s in a relationship. That he comforted her bc she was cold so he held her arms. And they talked for about 5 minutes. From what she said, she shot it down, said she was happy with me and then after that convo went home. But the rumor comes straight from the guy himself. He says that she was flirting back with him but that yes, she did shoot him down and that was it. 
  
  My thing is that it has turned into a whole lot more than just what happened that night: 
  
  * She lied to me for 2 months. 
  * We had conversations about never doing things behind each other’s back AND about if guys have hit on her recently and she lied on both conversations. 
  * According to her, she met this guy 2 years ago and has seen him about 5 times total and they have talked before (I never knew this guy even existed). 
  * She would’ve never told me, I only found out bc of the rumor. 
  * She is always so quick to shoot down a guy and tell him to F off. Why not this guy? Why did she entertain this guy? 
  
  I am truly not sure if this is something to break up over. I need someone else’s POV. 
  
  TL;DR 
  
  I’ve been in a strict 3-year relationship where we both agreed to avoid interacting with the opposite gender. Recently, my girlfriend went out, got drunk, ended up at a guy’s apartment, and had a private conversation with him where he confessed feelings. She says she shut it down, but he claims she flirted a bit.
  
  The bigger issue for me is that she \*\*lied and hid this from me for 2 months\*\*, even when I asked about things like this directly. Now I’m not sure if the problem is just that night—or the fact that she broke our trust and boundaries—and I’m wondering if that’s enough to end things.","[{'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'other gender friends', 'relation': 'cut off', 'condition': 'when we started dating'}]"
315,P0316,1sbkx2t,"My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We had 1 break up but found eachother back and been trying to make things work. Recently got into a fight where he commented a compliment on a next girls photo. The compliment itself wasn't bad, but i felt hurt as he never does those stuff for me. I expressed it to him and the whole conversation was a mess. He said that I don't care about the comment I only care about how things look online, that he compliments me in person and that should be enough. Then he brought up other situations that felt as if he was just trying to put me down. This made me question everything because I was very shocked by his reaction. I thought he'd understand my point of view and we'd work through it, but he got upset and just kept questioning me which drove me insane.
  
  This made me realise, whenever we get into arguments he always flips it on me, says hes tired of me and it always ends in me having to apologise somehow. If not that, he talks about break ups or something I did that he does not like. I cannot recall ever being validated for how i feel about anything. I want to be with him but I cannot be with someone who constantly ignores my feelings and that I am scared to talk to about problems... Im not sure how to navigate this because I do love him..
  
  TLDR, Boyfriend of 3 years invalidates my feelings whenever we have problems and I always have to apologise. How do I navigate this?","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': ' flips on', 'condition': 'during arguments'}, {'e1': 'Boyfriend ', 'e2': 'my feelings', 'relation': 'invalidates', 'condition': 'whenever we have problems'}]"
316,P0317,1sbh5zw,"Chase (35M) and I(30F) have been dating for close to two years. For the first several months, we had a great sex life and honestly moved way too fast–I moved in with him after only dating for six months. But I moved in with him for many reasons. I was living with roommates at the time, and we were really struggling to get along with me spending so much time with Chase and staying out late etc. And Chase was really struggling financially, and I was already helping him a little with rent, so it made sense to move in. Plus I was head over heels in love and the idea of living with him was exciting and something I wanted.
  
  Pretty quickly after I moved in, our sex life started to dwindle. It wasn’t completely clear why, but he eventually told me that it was hard to feel “in the mood” because our apartment was super dirty (it was) and because I was depressed a lot of the time. 
  
  We also had a conversation about marriage (not about us getting engaged or anything, but about the concept and down the line) and at first, he made it sound as if he never wanted to get married again, having gotten divorced from his wife and breaking things off with his last long term partner. Then we talked, and he clarified that he just wanted to be sure that he took things slow, and was absolutely sure about his partner prior to taking that step with them.
  
  Our apartment was very expensive, and we were struggling to make ends meet, so I suggested we move into a new apartment that was less expensive. He eventually agreed. We moved into our new apartment a few months, and it is solely in my name. he isn’t even on the lease. Only a day or two after we moved in, he was fired. 
  
  Since he was fired, he got a single retail job a month ago that he quit after only working for a week because the manager was bad and the place was disorganized. He has yet to be paid for the week he worked there (they’re genuinely terrible and won’t pay him). So ever since, I’ve been pretty much exclusively supporting us, save for a check he got from the place that fired him. Last month, I had to ask my parents for money a couple of times, resulting in us borrowing over $1000 from them just to make ends meet. 
  
  In the 2 years we’ve been together, I’ve burned through all of my savings to support us so we/I have nothing to fall back on.
  
  I am constantly lying to friends and family, saying that he still has the job that he got a month ago but is only working part-time because Chase doesn’t want me to tell anyone and because I know that if I do, everyone will dogpile on him and I’ll end up having to defend him from their judgment. I’m also terrified they’ll tell me to break up with him.
  
  From what I can tell, he has applied to several places, but everywhere he’s applied says that they’re hiring when they aren’t in actuality. they’re just wanting applications sitting on their desk in the event that someone quits or they fire someone.
  
  Our sex life has diminished even further. We rarely have sex (maybe once a month), and he’s even called off sex in the middle due to performance issues and admitted that he was having trouble performing even solo. Chase isn’t sure if it’s depression/testosterone deficiency/something else. I can’t help wondering if the problem isn’t me (that he isn’t sexually attracted to me and doesn’t want to admit it). And there’s a quiet part of me that can’t help the anxiety that Chase might be cheating on me or something? no evidence that he is, and he doesn’t seem like the sort of person that would do something like that. I also recognize that he has plenty of free time and that people rarely think their partner would cheat on them.
  
  I love him so freaking much. And there’s a large part of me that thinks we could be endgame and hopes that one day, I prove myself to him enough for him to want to consider proposing to me.
  
  But I also can’t keep being the only one to support us. I’m always stressed about finances, I’m bitter that I’m the only one working, I’m irritated that he sleeps until noon and that the apartment is messy (he’s been cleaning a lot more in the last few weeks, but it’s still SO dirty). I’m furious that I’ve had to ask my parents for help multiple times and that he won’t ask his parents despite him being the one with no income. I’m confused on why he can’t get a job. I’m depressed because no matter how hard I work, I can’t make it through more than two weeks with the income I make and support us, and I have literally zero money to have fun. I’m also angry because I’m still paying for the loans I had to take out to get emergency surgery on his cats, even though he said he would handle paying them back when I took them out.
  
  My self-confidence is absolutely destroyed because I feel like an undesirable sexless blob. I should mention that he’s my first boyfriend and my first sexual partner and prior to him, no one expressed any interest in me in a sexual sense and it was rare that anyone expressed an interest in me romantically. So it took a lot for me to feel desirable in the first place, and just when I was starting to believe that I was, he stopped having interest in me. 
  
  And I’m terrified to bring any of this up to him because he seems depressed and stressed, and I don’t want to make any of that worse. I mean… if he’s legitimately trying and failing to get a job and he’s legitimately struggling with sexual drive, there’s nothing he can do to help me with the things I’m struggling with. 
  
  a part of me is wondering how I’m meant to keep going. I don’t want to break up with him. I love him so fucking much and have never felt so comfortable being myself as I do with him, and I have zero desire to date anyone else. If I’m honest, I daydream about him deciding he wants to spend the rest of his life with me a lot. 
  
  I keep asking myself how long I’m meant to be the sole provider and how long I’m meant to be okay with no sex life and feeling undesirable? Where do we go from here?
  
  \*\*TL;DR; : I moved in quickly with my boyfriend, and since then it’s become one sided. I financially supporting both of us, our sex life has nearly disappeared. I feeling insecure, burned out, and stuck. I love him and want a future together, but how long can I keep carrying everything alone and what to do next\*\*.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'the loans for the emergency surgery of his cats', 'relation': 'will handle paying', 'condition': 'when I took them out'}]"
317,P0318,1sb33g4,"I've been renting a room from him for the past 3 years. he's a long time family friend. I work hours from 10:00 to 8:00 while he works from 7:30 to 6:00, so generally the dynamic and personal space is pretty palatable. we generally hang out in the living room from when I come at 9 to 11pm. 
  
  I'm extremely tidy. i often clean the shared bathroom and I keep the counters and floors very tidy. I mention this to say that I'm very respectful of his things and very open to compromise. he had an old fabric couch before but it got really used up so he ordered a new Italian leather one, l-shaped with two lazy boy style adjustable ends. I literally took off half a day of work to be there when it was delivered and I washed and cleaned everything floor and wall wise before so the place would be ready. he established from the start that we're not going to be eating on this couch, which I feel is a very reasonable request. but he also sold off his dining room table and stools so there's no place to legitimately eat in the living room until he gets a custom one made. we have two balcony chairs to sit on but he keeps putting his crap on the second one so I never have the opportunity to use it. 
  
  in the beginning he pointed out that I wasn't sitting on the couch, I was climbing on it with one foot under my butt. so I acknowledged it wasn't good for the couch or my back and I'd try to remember. then he complained I was lying weird on the couch on a day when I was feeling very faint. 
  
  my general routine is that every day before bed I make myself some herbal tea and I drink it in the living room. yesterday he called me out but I was sitting at the edge of the couch while drinking my tea which is reasonable to me because I don't want to hold the drink above the couch because I tend to spill things on accident. so I was leaning over the coffee table. 
  
  this evening I come home from work and he has switched the coffee table so now it is further away from my part of the couch and unreachable if I put my mug of tea. so now I can ""sit normally"". 
  
  This makes no sense because now I have nowhere to put my cup once I drink my tea I can't be holding a hot mug the entire time. I retorted ""so what am I supposed to f\*\*\*\*\*\* sit on the floor now"". and then I left the living room and went to my bedroom for the night. 
  
  I don't know how to resolve this issue. he's being crazy about his purchase. I understand it was an expensive investment but now I don't want to hang out with him in the living room anymore because he's made it so hostile and inhospitable. 
  
  \*\*tl;Dr\*\* roommate purchase an expensive couch and has established so many rules around it that it's making it difficult for me to even be able to use the living room space for having tea, watching tv or even eating. he recently turned the coffee table in a way that makes it impossible for me to reach for my tea","[{'e1': 'No place ', 'e2': 'the living room', 'relation': 'to legitimately eat in', 'condition': 'before he gets a custom dining room table made'}]"
318,P0319,1sb0nxz,"I (33F) have had an on/off situationship with “Mark” (39M) since 2020. We met at the gym, became close friends, then segued into hooking up. We had an immediate connection and the chemistry between us was tangible. I was clear with Mark that I had feelings; he said he didn’t return them. We would break up, I would date someone else, it would end, then Mark and I would be drawn right back to each other. Mark would tell me he didn’t want to stop seeing me. Despite his lack of feelings, Mark would initiate conversations about things like how many children I saw myself having and talk about what our parenting styles might be. 
  
  In 2022, I started dating a man I met at work. I saw Mark regularly at the gym and we communicated daily, but we hadn’t been intimate for a month and I felt distance in the tone of his replies. The man and I hit it off and became exclusive a month later. I told Mark, who wasn’t happy but didn’t fight it. 
  
  I loved my boyfriend, and when my feelings for Mark would pop up, I’d double down on my relationship, on how happy we made each other, how easy it felt. Things weren’t perfect, and my boyfriend and I didn’t have the same electric chemistry that I felt with Mark, but I was happy. 
  
  A year into my relationship, I was dealing with a traumatic work situation that resulted in me taking time off. My boyfriend and I had been talking about getting engaged, but I begged him not to propose to me as I wasn’t in the mindset to handle the weight of that decision. He agreed and, a few weeks later, planned a trip for us. Ahead of the trip, we were talking about engagement, and he told me that if my answer was anything but yes, the relationship was over. 
  
  He ended up proposing to me on the trip. I’d felt misgivings but accepted because I didn’t to break up. I began having near daily panic attacks when we got home and did not tell anyone outside of immediate family and some friends about the engagement. Mark ended up finding out and was furious, refusing to explain why he was so angry with me. 
  
  I ended up calling off my wedding after extensive conversation with my therapist. It wasn’t an easy decision and I hated myself for hurting my ex-fiancé.
  
  A few months later Mark and I were talking again and the conversation turned flirtatious. Mark informed me that he was looking for a serious relationship. The flow of conversation made me think that that could be with me. It wasn’t, I was crushed again. 
  
  I need to break this cycle but I don’t know how. Mark and I can’t seem to let each other go. I feel gutted at the thought of him with someone else and I hate feeling this impotent. What do I do? I know this isn’t healthy for me but I don’t know how to let go. 
  
  TL;DR: I’m in love with my former situationship. He’s still attracted to me but doesn’t see a future aside from friendship. It’s killing me and I need to let go of my feelings. I am at a loss for what to do.","[{'e1': 'the relationship', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'was over', 'condition': 'if my answer was anything but yes'}]"
319,P0320,1sb0my4,"I 29F and he 26M have been together for 6 years. We lived together for almost 4-5 years and a year ago he bought a house that we moved into… we have been struggling with disconnect and he’s even had some disrespectful outbursts that resulted in me getting hurt badly. I know I’ve given the relationship my all and I’m stuck between sticking it out and making this work. He’s often such an amazing person but he struggles with mental health. I on the other hand, actively take care of myself, healed from my abusive childhood and see a therapist once a week to be the best I can be and even continue to heal. 
  
  I feel like he genuinely cares deeply about me and he’s been my family. When and if we split, I’ll have nobody, which only makes this harder. I have some family, but they are toxic and some friends, but they have moved states away and have their own lives. I know relationships have blows and rough patches, but somedays I can’t help but picture the grass being greener on the other side. I can’t help but to think that there is someone out there that will treat me far better and have their mental health in check and never disrespect me. 
  
  My question is, am I making a mistake thinking it’s time to leave? Will I regret not trying to make this work? I’m actively sitting on the floor with him having a good time and I can’t help but tear up with the feeling of missing him and all the good memories. Every time I look at him today, I just feel so much sadness that I’m doing this to him but then I remind myself of the disrespect and things that have been hurting me. My friends that I’ve known since childhood finally admitted that they feel I deserve someone who doesn’t need to change or that I’m more connected to. It’s just so hard, I’m dealing with so much sadness today. Some days I feel anger, some days I feel sadness. 
  
  TLDR; should I end my relationship or should I tough it out? How do you get through this?","[{'e1': 'i', 'e2': 'nobody', 'relation': 'will have', 'condition': 'when and if we split'}]"
320,P0321,1saxdje,"We’ve been together about 1.5 years, and in many ways she feels one of a kind to me. I love her laugh, her softness, her compassion, the way she listens, the way I can be fully myself with her. If you put me in a room with anyone else, I’d still pick her. I really can see a life with her.
  
  That’s what makes this so hard: I do not want someone else. I want her. But I don’t know if I can keep living inside the current dynamic.
  
  For context: she’s been very lost for a long time. She quit a previous path that meant a lot to her, started a university program that still doesn’t feel right to her after a full year, doesn’t know what she wants to do, feels behind in life, panics about making the wrong choices, and often spirals into “I’ve done everything wrong” / “nothing feels good” / “my body is broken” / “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.” She also has recurring sleep issues and nighttime anxiety.
  
  This has been going on for many months in different forms. It used to be more emotional crashes and crying; now it’s often more chronic negativity, hopelessness, and guilt. The really frustrating part is: she gets it. She is self-aware. She understands what I mean when I explain how it affects me. She agrees with me. She apologizes. She often says she wants to change and doesn’t want to live like this either.
  
  But then… there is very little real, concrete, durable change.
  
  That’s what’s killing me.
  
  It feels like our cycle is:
  
  \- something happens
  
  \- she spirals / shuts down / gets overwhelmed
  
  \- I bring it up honestly
  
  \- she understands and apologizes
  
  \- we reconnect
  
  \- things improve for a bit
  
  \- then it comes back in a slightly different form
  
  So it’s not like I’m with someone who is dismissive or uncaring. In some ways that makes it harder. She sees it too. She agrees. But she still can’t seem to turn that insight into real action.
  
  A very common scenario is:
  
  \- we’re about to sleep
  
  \- I hear her crying quietly
  
  \- I ask what’s wrong
  
  \- she waits a few minutes
  
  \- then says something like “I just feel like I’ve done everything wrong”
  
  \- then I end up comforting her, staying up, carrying the whole emotional situation
  
  This has affected my sleep, my peace at home, my ability to relax, and even my sexual desire. That stuck with me more than I admitted. Since then, it’s been very hard to fully feel like a lover when I so often feel like a caretaker.
  
  I’ve also spent over a year supporting her, helping her keep options open, encouraging her, trying to help her find direction, sending jobs, listening to existential panic, trying to make our home feel stable, etc. And I’m just tired. I’m starting to dread coming home sometimes because I’m afraid I’m coming home to another problem, another spiral, another breakdown.
  
  The hardest part is that I’m not even confused about whether I love her. I do. Completely. But when she recently went away for a week, I felt this huge sense of relief. I could sleep. I could game. I didn’t feel watched. I didn’t feel like I had to be emotionally on call. That relief scared me.
  
  And lately I’ve been trying to change my side of the pattern, because I know I’ve become too much of the caretaker. For example, one night she called late and I could tell she was crying and not okay, and instead of staying on the phone and becoming the full emotional regulator like I always do, I just said I love you, goodnight, and hung up. I’m trying to stop being her nightly rescue system because I genuinely don’t think I can do another long period of this.
  
  But then what is the alternative? She feels awful, I know she does, and I know this must feel horrible from her side too. And I’m stuck with this thought:
  
  What solution do I actually have?
  
  I don’t want to live without her.
  
  But I also can’t keep doing this.
  
  So I guess what I’m really asking is:
  
  \- Has anyone been with someone who truly understood the problem, agreed with you, even apologized sincerely, but still couldn’t translate that into real change?
  
  \- When does “sticking it out because this is the one” become self-destruction?
  
  \- Is this what real love is — enduring a hard season with the person you know you want?
  
  \- Or is there a point where loving someone deeply still isn’t enough if the dynamic keeps breaking you down?
  
  \- And if the person is amazing, loving, rare, and still the one you want, but the relationship keeps putting you into a caretaker role, what do you actually do?
  
  I’m not looking for easy “dump her” answers. I’m trying to understand whether this sounds like a hard chapter that can be worked through, or a relationship that is asking too much from one person.
  
  tl:dr; I’m in a relationship with someone I love deeply and can genuinely see a future with, but for over a year I’ve gradually become more of a caretaker than a partner. She’s very self-aware, understands what I say, agrees, apologizes, and wants to change — but there is very little concrete, lasting behavioral change. She’s often lost, anxious, crying at night, panicking about her future, sleep, body, friends, school, etc., and I’m exhausted from being the one who soothes and stabilizes everything. I do not want anyone else, and the idea of losing her crushes me, but when she recently went away for a week I felt huge relief: I could sleep, relax, and just exist. I’m trying to stop being her emotional regulator, but I don’t know what the actual solution is. Is this a hard season you stick through for “the one,” or is loving someone deeply still not enough if the dynamic keeps breaking you down?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'would still pick', 'condition': 'if you put me in a room with anyone else'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'understands', 'condition': 'when I explain how it affects me'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': 'a lover', 'relation': 'is hard to feel like', 'condition': 'when I so often feel like a caretaker'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'relief', 'relation': 'felt this huge sense of ', 'condition': 'when she went away for a while'}]"
321,P0322,1sauxe3,"TL;DR MY fiance thinks I'm too friendly and wants to feel more respected/desired sexually before showing me vulnerability. He is uncomfortable with me giving men so much attention ie talking too long, smiling too much with them, etc. 
  
  ex fiance (32 M) and I (28F) were together for 5 years. We broke up in October because I have a long history of making him feel disrespected (which I didn't look at as disrespect at the time). This is specific in the area of being too friendly with other men ad not making him feel wanted enough. I always told him he was overthinking it or defending my place instead of understanding/fixing it. I started therapy and learned a lot of abandonment and 'daddy issues' I have that seem to be at the root of my desire for external validation. I have expressed this to him.
  
  My
  
  Recently (after 2 months of no contact) he said he forgave me and himself for constantly taking me back though he always felt so hurt because I would dismiss him and he would like to get back together. In this reconciliation talk, he said to me he can't do anything that I want until he feels like this time things are different. I feel like I need SOMETHING as a woman to feel connected. To feel like there is some mutual desire or care for me because right now there is nothing from him. I never expected him to be perfect but to just show up in small ways until he feels comfortable too. And slowly we can possible get back. I have never even slept with someone who I didn't have strong feelings for so I find it difficult to wrap my head around doing that.
  
  His desire in being wanted is sex.I view sex as a very emotional thing but he can't meet me all the way yet because he feels scared to trust me since there hasn't been change in the previous years. Part of me is understanding of his hurt because I put myself in his shoes but the other part feels this should be mutual after so much time we have been together. Part of me also feels I just simply have a friendly personality but maybe I did cross a line sometimes in our relationship where I shouldn't have been too nice or extensive convo with another man. I'd love some opinions on this. 
  
  Thanks so much!","[{'e1': 'My fiance', 'e2': 'vulnerability', 'relation': 'before showinng me', 'condition': 'wants to feel more respected/desired sexually'}]"
322,P0323,1sauvtx,"My \[26F\] and my boyfriend \[28M\] have been together for 5 years. I feel that we are at a plateau in our relationship. I feel like we are in the roommate phase and that there isn't an inkling of engagement or marriage. I feel that since the beginning I have been doing wife things for him and its like a ""well she does this now, why change what is already being done"". I have tried to step back but that is just not who I am, when it comes to someone I love, I give 100% of my time and effort- not saying I am perfect by any means. I have seen posts about being with someone for 8+ years and no expression from the man of even wanting to get engaged. I know that every relationship has its own timeline, but that to me sounds like the Hilary Duff quote of ""waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought... useless and disappointing"". The only time that it is ever a discussion, is when we are arguing and the ""where do we see ourselves"" comes into it. A lot of our friends are now getting engaged and married. Please know, that is not the reason I want to do it as well. I feel that half a decade with someone should be able to decide whether you want to be committed to someone for the rest of your lives. We have both had the same idea of wanting to be married someday, so it is not a ""he didn't and she did"" kind of thing. All of our friends have said that being married doesn't feel any different, other than the title. I have wanting to get married ever since I was a little girl, the thought of having someone chose you to love and to be their forever... it has always been my dream. It's not about the wedding aspect- I would take a $15 ring and an elopement. I just don't want to put all of my love and effort into someone who has no real intention of marriage. I don't know how to even go about the situation or if anyone has been in a similar situation who has had positive resolution. How did people in similar situations go about it?
  
  TL;DR Been with boyfriend for five years, is that enough time to consider marriage or am I wasting my time?","[{'e1': 'Engagement', 'e2': 'a discussion', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'only when we are arguing and the ""when the where do we see ourselves"" comes into it'}]"
323,P0324,1saunga,"Me (F24) and my bf (M24) have been dating for almost 2 years. Things between us go well most of the time. He used to always make me feel very special and always apologized sincerely when I said that something made me feel sad. 
  
  However, for the last 2 months, I noticed that he started putting less effort. We have had a lot of tough conversations and he always apologized and said he knows he hasnt been putting as much effort in our relationship, but thats because he’s feeling depressed. He also said he feels like I deserve better and that he hasnt been feeling like himself, hasnt been eating well etc. I’ve always been super understandable and im always there for him, but I feel like Im putting all my needs aside. Like he can go a basically a whole day not texting me but then he apologises and said he didnt feel well all day. I feel sad when he doesnt want to hang out with me because he is sad but still hangs out with their friends. Should I be more patient and see if he gets better? 
  
  Can depression really make you feel more cold and distant from your partner, or is it just an excuse? I really wanted our relationship to work but I dont want to be in a relationship where my bf doesnt even value me or wants to hang out. 
  
  (Sorry for any spelling mistakes, english isnt my first language)
  
  Tl:dr: has my bf stopped liking me or is he actually depressed? How much should I tolerate?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'always apologized sincerely', 'condition': 'when I said that something made me feel sad'}]"
324,P0325,1saug5s,"We have been together for 3.5 years and I am starting to see the pattern very clearly now. We went out to have lunch during the weekend and he was talking about his work etc, I am currently taking classes to l earn a new language and it's a pretty intensive course. I said I was feeling little behind because there was so much homework that I had to do. He said ""you can't really compete with me"" to which that I replied that I have no interest in competing, just stating how I feel with the things I am currently doing. He said that what I said was negative ""to be behind on homework"" and it's ""my doing that I am behind"" so I said ""I feel dismissed by what you said I just wanted to say what is happening with me rn"" and he started to argue with me for saying that, saying I shouldn't have said that, I ruined the lunch and that I should have chosen another moment to say that. In the end he apologized after I insisted, I tried to change the subject but he ignored my attempt and went silent and interrupted the communication between us for almost 3 days. He then came to me to say that he is disappointed that I interuppted the communication and have not done anything to fix and that considering how small the thing was there should not have been such a long drag of the whole situation. He really doesn't seem to have a clue that he's the one who caused all of this and trying to explain myself has led to just more arguing and I am tired of this. I don't know how to handle this situation or discuss this in away where he would understand, not defend himself and turn it all on me. How do I go from here because this doesn't feel ok?
  
  
  
  TL;DR partner dismissed me and then starting arguing with me when I said I felt dismissed and made me feel bad about it.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'apologized', 'condition': 'after I insisted'}]"
325,P0326,1sau5p4,"My boyfriend (24) and I (25) have been dating for about 7 months. This is my first relationship. The first 3 months were honestly great — he was very attentive, communicative, and I felt secure.
  
  Things started changing when I began hanging out with his friend group around the 4th month. There’s one particular female best friend of his that I feel uncomfortable around. They have a lot of inside jokes and a certain closeness that makes me feel a bit excluded when we’re all together.
  
  What really triggered me was
  
  He met her (along with another friend) when she was going through a breakup, but didn’t mention it to me until 10 days later. When I asked why he didn’t tell me, he said it “wasn’t a big deal.”
  
  On a group trip, she ended up wearing his hoodie after a night out. When I expressed that it made me uncomfortable, he explained it was because she didn’t have anything warm to wear.
  
  Since then, I’ve been spiraling a bit. I always thought I was a secure person, but this situation has been making me question things and overthink.
  
  The main issue is whenever I try to bring up boundaries, he responds by saying “these are my friends, they’re not going to disappear.” I want to make it clear that I’m not asking him to cut anyone off. I just want certain boundaries that help me feel secure and respected in the relationship.
  
  How do I communicate this better without sounding controlling? And am I overreacting here, or are my concerns valid?
  
  Would really appreciate honest advice.
  
  TL;DR: Boyfriend is very close to his female best friend, certain situations (not telling me about meeting her, her wearing his hoodie, their dynamic) have made me uncomfortable. I don’t want him to cut her off, just want boundaries — but he gets defensive. Am I overreacting, and how do I approach this better?","[{'e1': 'Things', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'started changing', 'condition': 'when I started hanging out with his friend group'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'exclusion', 'relation': 'makes me having a feeling of', 'condition': 'when we are all together'}]"
326,P0327,1saso91,"I (f30) make $31/hr and my boyfriend (38m) makes $45/hr. He wants to pay $600 a month and no utilities. He currently pays $800 to rent a room and he’s telling me he can’t afford $800. my rent is $2k. i’m worried if i agree to $600 it’ll never be equal. Are there anyways to try and make this equal or compromise or are we just incompatible ? He agreed to pay all the groceries but not utilities. He has an electric car and i’ve already noticed when he charges all day my electric bill will double those days but he doesn’t want to pay electricity bill at all.
  
  tl;dr boyfriend wants to pay only $600 a month and nothing else even tho he makes more. i’m debating if i should compromise or call it quits.
  
  Edit : i was already leaning towards ending the relationship but he loves to tell me im stubborn and don’t care about his finances. All of your comments have proved that this scenario is good reason to be “stubborn” especially when it comes to money. I’m going to end the relationship. I don’t want to be paying majority. i want partnership !","[{'e1': 'Payment', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': 'will never be equal between', 'condition': 'if I agree to $600'}, {'e1': 'Electric bills', 'e2': 'those days', 'relation': 'will double', 'condition': 'on days when he charges all day'}]"
327,P0328,1sanpnh,"He(m30) is so wonderful. He’s kind, caring, he does everything in his power to accommodate me and reassure me. I (30F) got out of an abusive relationship about 6 months ago and I met him about a month ago. We aren’t official yet but he’s putting it on strong. I asked him to slow down and he respected my boundaries. Said he would wait for me and to please take my time. Talking on the phone and FaceTiming him is my favorite thing ever. I love talking to him. I miss him if we go one day without a phone call. We share the same hobbies, he’s super handsome.. but when we are in person he is too kind and too affectionate and it turns me off. I don’t want someone all over me at a bar or in public or even in our own space like give me space. He was like this 1 day after we met officially. He expressed his love for me one week after our first date. Granted we talk on the phone for hours every day but still. I am no where NEAR there. I am very uncomfortable with the affection from him in person and idk if it’s just cuz I’m avoidant and afraid or if it’s genuinely just no connection like that with him. I was never like this tho until my abusive relationship. For 2 years I was extremely in love with my ex and I tried to win him over. We got together and he became abusive because he is a narcissist. I got used to having to “win” to be cuddled. Like it was conditional. He never cuddled me. Sometimes he held my hand. I wasn’t allowed to touch him or hold his hand unless given permission by him. I was so used to solitude and being alone. Now I have someone who bombards me with love and affection and it’s too much for me. Idk if it’s just cuz we lack chemistry in person and I should end it or if I should keep working on my attachment style so he can be loved and give love the way he wants and deserves.
  
  tl;dr I have a new partner for about a month but he’s extremely affectionate and it makes me uncomfortable and get the ick. Said he loved me after one week. He seems genuine but my past abusive relationship made me avoidant and idk if this is normal to feel lack of chemistry or what with new guy.","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'is too kind and affectionate to', 'condition': 'when we are in person'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him or his hands', 'relation': 'was not allowed to touch or hold', 'condition': 'unless given permission'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'miss', 'condition': 'if we go one day without talking'}]"
328,P0329,1sal6ul,"So I have been dating this guy for 9 months now (we dated 2 years ago for 2 months but I ended things till he texted me again). He is very respectful, nice, loving and treats me very good. At first I did not have feelings for him but after some time, as he kept showing up for me, I started developing feelings and now I really feel a lot for him (can not say what exactly since I do not really know what love is). The problem is that we still have not started a relationship because he never asked. We are exclusive and honestly we behave like we are in a long term relationship but there is something lacking for him. We had a fight 2 months ago, where he explained that he is not sure about us because there are some things about me that make him feel ""scared"" in this relationship, like the way I use silent treatment after fights and that I do not respect his personal boundaries sometimes. He wanted to end things because of that but I said that I will work on that and it seemed like he deeply wanted that too. 2 months passed, it has gotten better (not perfect but better), and a few weeks ago we had that talk again and he said that not enough time has passed for him to see, if it really got better. We do not have sex so it cant be that he is using me for that. But I really am getting annoyed about the situation. I keep showing up and supporting him more than any of his friends girlfriends and he still thinks I deserve the title?? He had a really tough exam phase until today so I waited for it to end but I am slowly running out of my patience. So I am not sure, whether I should end things
  
  TL;DR I am considering ending things because we are not officially together even after dating for 9 months","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'feelings', 'relation': 'started developing ', 'condition': 'as he kept showing up for me'}]"
329,P0330,1sadtfy,"So - my best friend and I met in college when we were both 16. Around that time I had a crush on him, confessed, and got rejected. Since then, I have realised that he did me a great service by rejecting him because 1) I cannot for the life of me imagine having ever dated him, he's more like a brother to me now than a friend and 2) helped us become better friends - eventually once the teenage awkwardness passed. I've only included this for background context as I really want the advice to be targeted. Other key info - he has never had a crush on me, and I'm in a healthy happy relationship with my bf (also 27).
  
  
  His love life since we met has been rather dead, he had a few briefs flings & then covid hit and he's just been in love with a co-worked ever since. He recently got over her and has got in contact with someone he knew from college that I never met. He seems so genuinely happy and they seem great together from what he's been telling me. I'm so excited to meet her and here's where I need your advice: How can I make her feel welcomed and like she has nothing to worry about with me?
  
  I don't want her to be weirded out/anything bad by how close we are - and by this I just mean we talk a lot. He doesn't know anything passed the basics of ""we kissed!"" in my romantic life, and he doesn't tell me anything passed that either, like I said it's very much like he's a brother to me. I already know we'll be talking less, given he'll be talking to her more, but what else can I do when I meet her/in the future to make her feel really welcomed, other than just being really nice to her?
  
  
  Any input from people who've been in this situation would be perfect, as well as things that made the situation worse so I know what to avoid! I've already told him that's she's welcome at any of our meetups but no pressure from either of them to rush it - we meet up maybe once every couple of months, and for bday and xmas.
  
  
  TLDR: my boy best friend just got a girlfriend and I want to know how to best respect her boundaries","[{'e1': 'His rejection', 'e2': 'better friends', 'relation': 'of me helped us become', 'condition': 'once the teenage awkwardness passed'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'ourselves', 'relation': 'will be talking less to', 'condition': 'given he will be talking to her more'}]"
330,P0331,1sa8f68,"\*\*TL;DR;\*\*: Girl is making relationship difficult .
  
  Me (22M) and partner (22F) have been dating for 4 months now. When we first met is was very nice and the freshness of it all made it exciting, We got pregnant 1.5 months into knowing each other and had a miscarriage. We then moved in together at month 3.
  
  I was getting to know her before and I didn’t really care about her red flags. But every time I bring up how I feel she gets hostile and very defensive and says I’m being controlling when all I want is for us to be on the same page, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her or her boundaries but I expect the same. she’s been in relationships where she was abused and cheated on so I give her understanding.
  
  The first thing I ever brought up is that I didn’t like that she wanted to keep in contact with people she had slept with or dated just because that was no longer the situation. After about two days she was willing to do it
  
  Fast forward a month after that she was sending me a bunch of videos about women choosing to do anything they want, so naturally I responded with my opinion and said that I don’t think a woman should just wear whatever she wants if it actively makes her partner uncomfortable, i think if your partner asks you politely and gives a reason that’s valid then just change it because the person you choose and love asks you to.
  
  It also bothered me that she would bring up every celebrity crush especially if it was on the TV or in the movie theaters she would say how attractive she thought the person is, ( I speak about it later on here but none of them looked like me) and obviously I find other girls attractive and not all look like her but out of respect to her I don’t bring it up.
  
  Now recently we joined a church group, first time she met the group alone then a few sessions in and I came, we all met at a burger joint and it went very well I liked the group and the group leader. Next sessions we all meet at his house and the first time I thought it was normal and chill until the end he hugged her and I was fine about it but still felt weird, I didn’t bring it up to my girl yet because it was my first time in the house and she didn’t see the hug coming so just responded naturally. (I always respect others relationships and would rather verbally greet the man’s partner then greet him). Next time going I was looking at him for any signs and I felt like the group leader kept looking at her. So I would look at him, I’m very interactive in this group and enjoy the people but the fact that I feel he looks at her bothers me and I saw her fix her hair and immediately I started thinking she was receptive.
  
  Then as we were leaving he shook my hand and was seeming to not go in to hug her this time and so she reached and hugged him.
  
  She always states she has multiple types in men 1st being white males with blue eyes which he has and I’m a lightskin man with brown eyes, so I guess maybe it’s partially insecurity as-well, which I’m not ignorant to.
  
  When we got to the car I was very serious and she could tell and she told me to explain what’s wrong, and I told her there’s no point because she would only get mad and dismiss what I feel, when we got home she was surprisingly understanding and said that’s fine she just won’t hug him to respect my boundary. Then two days later when she did therapy she told me she will not be controlled and that throughout everything she will always do whatever the f\*\*\*k she wants. To be honest that hurt me.
  
  Then she said that if I want I can talk to him and ask him if he wants her or that she can ask him if he wants her and wants to “f\*\*\*k her”. Then I told her that okay I’ll talk to him but then what would she do after… her response was that she would still hug him.
  
  So I got mad and said we’re done. you’re actively choosing to deny and go against my boundary… (which I would not do to her)
  
  Then I lied and said I just meant that I said I was done with the conversation, but actually because I know I love her I just get frustrated with the fact that she doesn’t want to change for the better other than that we are cool.
  
  We spoke and she said she wants to be with me and is trying to make it work too but she will not be controlled,and that if he for some reason gave her a vibe like he wanted more than just the hug that she gives out of appreciation for his group then she would stop it right there. I still feel like I’m asking for the bare minimum not control.
  
  I feel like she always makes everything about herself.
  
  And we’re too far in to let go, we live together, do everything together… since the day I met her there hasn’t been a day we weren’t together. So obviously even through all the things I don’t like I want to make it work but it feels like she’s taking my cup and leaving it empty when to start I fill up her cup no matter what but she just takes more from me more than she fills.
  
  What do you guys think? Am I controlling her? Am I asking for too much? Would you break up?","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'gets hostile/defensive with', 'condition': 'when I bring up how I feel'}, {'e1': 'A woman', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'should not wear whatever is wanted by', 'condition': 'if it actively makes her partner uncomfortable'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'told me no one will control ', 'condition': 'after she did therapy two days later'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'there', 'relation': 'would stop it right', 'condition': 'if he gave her a vibe of wanting more than a hug'}]"
331,P0332,1sa78w2,"My home dynamic has drastically shifted since my mom (67F) had to suddenly leave for 6 months to help out my sister living in another continent deal with a devastating situation. We didn’t have time to prepare for this, as she left 2 days after we found out. 
  
  My household consists of me (26F), my sister (34F), and my dad (64F). We have a dog and live in an apartment, so he requires 3 half-hour walks per day. I work a 9-5 from home, and usually spend most of my time at my boyfriend’s an hour away but I’m trying to be around a bit more to help out with the household. My dad works from 3-11ish PM and is always extremely tired. My sister is currently unemployed.
  
  My sister moved back in with our parents around 6 years ago due to her disability. She has something non-defined but similar to Ehler’s-Danlos and has chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and this has also affected her mentally. She restarted schooling after leaving her previous field and graduated last year, still on the job hunt. She doesn’t really have anything going on in her life in terms of work, hobbies, friends, a relationship, or really anything (which causes her a lot of distress and I offer to be a listening ear very often when she wants to talk about this). Accordingly, she has taken on a lot of the responsibilities that my retired mom does around the apartment because she’s home all the time. 
  
  We have another sister (37F) that lives in our building with her family. She has one school-aged kid and one toddler. Due to her work schedule, she drops off her school-aged kid at our place at 8am for us to get ready for school and take to the bus stop close by. 
  
  In the morning, my mom would usually get my niece ready for school, take her and my dog to the bus stop, then take my dog on his walk. My sister has now taken over this task. She also walks my dog in the afternoon unless my other sister’s husband offers to do so after he gets off work at 3:30. When I’m not home, she often walks him in the evening or asks my sister 
  
  My dad has also gotten used to my mom cooking his meal for him before and after work. He literally texts my mom if he’s coming home 20-30 minutes early so it’s ready on time for him. My sister has now taken over the task of cooking for him even though I told her that he can figure out feeding himself because he’s not incompetent. He doesn’t even wash his own dishes.
  
  My sister had a meltdown today because she feels overwhelmed taking on all of these tasks. This is complied by my other sister who bought a plane ticket to visit my sister overseas for 2 weeks in the beginning of May, and she asked my sister to help put the kids to bed every night while she’s gone. I’ve offered to help by taking my dog out earlier in the morning and during my 30 minute lunch break, but she’s adamant on him sticking to his schedule and getting the time outside he needs. 
  
  She then got in a fight with my dad once he got home. He told her that she can just tell him if she can’t make his food that day if she’s not feeling well, but she stated that her saying that she’s constantly tired and in pain should be enough for him to not expect things from her. With my dad trying to offer solutions, she declined everything. It seems like she’s doing all of this herself out of spite, I guess she can’t say no or set her boundaries. 
  
  I just don’t know how to handle the situation. I genuinely feel so bad because she really does need a lot of rest. I also feel like she’s upset with me when I’m at home because I can’t help with tasks due to work. She’s also communicated that she’s upset with me for being with my boyfriend so often even prior to this scenario, as I’m the one person she really has to talk to. I was planning on moving out by the end of this year but now I’m not sure if that would be appropriate with the support my family needs. I don’t think it’s fair how she’s being treated, but I don’t know what to do about it.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a listening ear', 'relation': 'offer to be', 'condition': 'when she wants to talk'}]"
332,P0333,1sa5pke,"my boyfriend (16M) and I (16F) have been together for a while, today is our 6 months, and I genuinely love him so much. but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m the only one putting in effort, and it’s starting to really hurt.
  
  I’m always asking about his day, how he slept, how school or work was, and trying to stay connected. He just got back from a trip to Las Vegas and I kept asking him for photos and how it was, but he barely sent anything or really talked about it. meanwhile, he rarely asks about my day, my school, or what I have going on unless it’s once in a while.
  
  It makes me feel like he doesn’t care about my life the same way I care about his. especially when i am so considerate of him, always texting him to let me know when he got home safe or just being involved in his. i’m a person who needs to call in a relationship, if i don’t ask to call— then we don’t. if i don’t ask to hangout— then we don’t. it has made me not want to ask anymore and completely distance myself. 
  
  two weeks ago he stopped using social media, and during that time he was way more attentive and nicer to me. now i found out today that 2 days ago he started using TikTok again ( he got home from his trip so it could be that he was bored or something..) and it’s bringing back the same feelings I had before where he would ignore me more and seem less present.
  
  we have also had issues in the past where he’s called other girls, and was flirting in a girls comment section, and just some other problems, which already made me feel insecure in the relationship. we have moved on with new boundaries set it place. but now everything combined is making me feel worse.
  
  i can’t tell if it’s just about tiktok. it’s because he uses it, reposts and likes videos, but doesn’t answer me for hours. maybe the entire day. before the detox, he used to text me with a maximum of 6 sentences. realistically, it was a good morning ,good night , and some dry conversation.I think it just made me realize how one-sided things feel. i even talked to him about this multiple times and he has felt bad and said he will call me every day— he hasn’t. and that he will work on it. i don’t want to break up, i love him. but him going back on tiktok has really made me more anxious that hes going to revert to how he acted before. 
  
  I love him so much, but I feel like I’m not getting the same energy back, and it’s making me pull back
  
  tldr: i (16F) love my boyfriend (16M) but feel like I care way more than he does. He barely asks about my day, ignores me sometimes, and recently got back on TikTok after a detox, which makes me worry about past issues like him flirting with other girls. I don’t know if this is fixable or if I should consider breaking up. How do I handle this?","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': ' my day or school ', 'relation': 'rarely asks about', 'condition': 'unless it is once in a while'}]"
333,P0334,1s9wwyw,"I'll preface by saying I know this dynamic isn't uncommon. I know this argument typically happens but I need some real, actual advice on how to fix it. I am tired of having the same argument again and again. 
  
  I moved in with my bf about three and a half years ago. When I first moved in I noticed things weren't really kept clean or neat. At least not to my standards. I don't mean freaking bleaching and mopping every other day or even every week. I like a general tidiness around the house and for things to be in the place they belong. So I started taking on a majority of the cleaning in shared spaces (especially the bathroom which obviously can get gross). 
  
  Eventually I started asking him to help more and expressed I was getting frustrated. He agreed to help a bit which means dishes every once in awhile. I was tired of the back and forth, gave up and started doing it on my own again. Then I started ""testing"" his standards (IDK a better way to explain). I stopped cleaning up as much including deep cleans because I wanted to see if he would step up. He hasn't. 
  
  Recently we had an argument where I had huffed at something he said and when we got to the resolution stage he said that he wants me to be as honest with him as he is with me and if I asked him to do something he wouldn't hesitate. 
  
  A few days after the argument I asked if he would clean the bathroom that weekend and I would do the kitchen (I was at least trying to make it seem like a team effort hoping it would help). He agreed and said he would. I cleaned the kitchen and a couple days later the bathroom was still not cleaned. I asked about when he planned to and he said ""oh are you done with the kitchen? I thought we were taking a break"". I explained that the kitchen was done and it wasn't really something that needed to be done at the same time (I had already done it and he wasn't cleaning while I was). He rolled his eyes and said okay. 
  
  Later that day I had cleaned up some stuff in the kitchen from a recent mess and he asked me if I had just done it. I said yes. He rolled his eyes and went back to his task (not cleaning). I'm getting the impression he thought I had cleaned the kitchen more because I didn't the first time which isn't accurate. A week later and the bathroom is still not done. I really don't want to give in and do it myself because I feel I'm enabling him. 
  
  tl;dr: I need advice on how to navigate house chores with my bf and the mental load of doing it myself or always having to ask him to do basic cleaning things","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': ""wouldn't hesitate to do"", 'condition': 'if I asked him to do something'}]"
334,P0335,1s9n8vw,"My grandfather recently passed away. I have been very angry, sad, distraught. 
  
  but after going to therapy and some advice from a different sub, I have decided to quietly cut off my Mother's Family. While the idea of going explosively has been suggested to me way more times than I expected, I've never been one to yell or confront anyone. When I made my old post I was angry. While I stand by what I feel I don't feel the need to tell any of my Mother's family my grievances. The only thing that would achieve is temporarily hurting them. 
  
  I have always felt invisible with that side of the family. I've always been my grandmother's punching bag when she had the chance. They never took the time to understand me or care about me. I am autistic, I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 3 years old. However, that side of the family truly believes I made it up for attention. Which is fine I guess. 
  
  They have always tried to shove me in a mold. Make me super girly, make me super touchy and huggy. I'm not allowed to yell, scream, cry, or object. The worst was when my grandmother would beg me to tickle her for hours and me, being a child who HATES touching people would cry. 
  
  I have a lot of problems with the family. I would have cut them off when my brother moved out, but I wanted to still talk to my gramps. He always loved me, cared for me, and never tried to make me someone I wasn't.
  
  He has passed so there's not really any reason to talk to them.
  
  After the funeral and after all my grandfather's stuff is given out, I just want to quietly disappear.
  
  tldr: How do I do that without creating drama? How do I do that without creating problems for my mom? 
  
  Sorry I probably added more context than what was needed.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': ""my mother's family"", 'relation': 'have decided to quietly cut off', 'condition': 'after going to therapy and some advice from a different sub'}]"
335,P0336,1s9ma71,"Hi everyone, I could really use some advice
  
  I’m (F22) currently 8 months pregnant, and there’s been ongoing tension with my husband’s (M25) grandmother (F85). She is very religious and tends to strongly push her beliefs onto us.
  
  Neither my husband nor I are religious, but she calls often, encourages us to pray, and regularly brings religious books and items to our home. She also comes at our house and judges everything - we don't have religious pictures up, we have plants that are really devilish, etc. Since my pregnancy, this has become more frequent and more intense. She insists we should constantly pray for the baby, and gets really angry at us if we don’t.
  
  For example, when we shared an ultrasound photo with family, she reacted negatively and said it will bring “bad energy” to the baby and that we are not allowed to send any photos from the ultrasound to anyone. If we did, then they need to delete them. She also gives me unknown remedies to take, which I don’t feel comfortable using—especially during pregnancy. When I refuse, she gets upset and says we’re not taking proper care of the baby. I'm not even allowed to go to the ultrasounds because that will make the dark forces take my baby (I still go to the ultrasounds and don't listen to her but I'm hearing it everything it comes up).
  
  She also has some beliefs about phones and being watched or influenced by negative forces, which sometimes come up in conversations and add to the stress.
  
  I feel uncomfortable and pressured, but I also don’t want to create a big conflict in the family. My husband undsrstands everything and he is also tired from this situation but finds it difficult to set boundaries and often just agrees with her to avoid arguments.
  
  I would like to calmly but firmly set limits and make it clear that we’ll make our own decisions as parents—but without damaging their relationship.
  
  Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you set boundaries in a respectful way when someone is very persistent?
  
  I’d really appreciate any advice.
  
  TL;DR 
  
  8 months pregnant and dealing with husband’s very religious grandmother who is increasingly intrusive—pushing beliefs, criticizing home/lifestyle, opposing ultrasounds, and giving unsafe advice. It’s causing stress, but want to set firm boundaries respectfully without creating family conflict, especially since husband struggles to stand up to her.","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': 'gets really angry at', 'condition': 'if we do not pray for the baby'}, {'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'the ultrasound photos', 'relation': 'need to delete', 'condition': 'if we sent it to them'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets upset', 'condition': 'when I refuse to take unknown remedies'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'the baby', 'relation': 'says we are not taking proper care of ', 'condition': 'when I refuse to take unknown remedies'}]"
336,P0337,1s9m5fw,"Im (19)M and my girlfriend (19) have been dating for almost two years now, the last couple of months have been rather challenging as we seem to fight a lot more. It’s always over the smallest things too. She gets mad at me a lot but I also trigger her even if it’s something that I find funny for example and she doesn’t.
  
  Long story short we are fighting and she is going to Europe for six months, pretty much everywhere even the party places like Ibiza and berlin with her friend I’m scared I’m going to lose her either before Europe or after. It seems like she doesn’t want to fight for us as much as I do and I have been in love with this girl since I was 15 years old so its really hurting.
  
  This is one of the worst possible times in my life so far as I am dealing with a lot of mental health issues and I’m on heavy medication. I want to feel extremely sad and I should but I don’t feel anything right now. I just don’t want to lose her.
  
  I don’t know if I should make a call before she goes to Europe but either way when she gets back, I want to start seeing her again. It’s really if the spark is still there though for her.
  
  TlDR. Been fighting for a few months over small things, both mentally fatigued and now shes going to Europe for 6 months, what should i or we do??","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' her', 'relation': 'am going to lose', 'condition': 'before or after Europe'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her ', 'relation': 'want to again start seeing', 'condition': 'when she gets back'}]"
337,P0338,1s9jcqs,"TL;DR: My girlfriend (22F) has been struggling with anxiety and asked for space 2 months ago. Since then, we’ve barely seen each other, grown emotionally distant, and stopped being intimate months ago. She says she doesn’t want to break up, but I feel like the relationship is fading. I’ll be leaving the country soon, for summer and I don’t think we’re in a place for long distance. Not sure if I should keep giving her space, push for a serious conversation, or break up.
  
  I (21 M) have been with my girlfriend (20 F) for about a year. Our relationship started really strong, we met in a student residence, spent a lot of time together, traveled, and overall had what I would honestly describe as an almost perfect relationship.
  
  Things started changing after the summer.
  
  Last year, we were both living in the same student residence, which we both liked, and we had a very stable routine. She was finishing a psychology degree and also studying acting, which she’s very passionate about. She had friends, structure, and was generally happy with her life.
  
  This year, everything changed. Our residence closed, so we had to move. I moved into an apartment with friends, and she moved into a different student residence that she ended up hating. She didn’t make friends there and felt very isolated.
  
  At the same time, she decided to fully focus on acting and left psychology behind. But the new acting program she joined turned out to be a bad experience—she didn’t like the environment, didn’t connect with her classmates, and felt it was toxic and low quality. She ended up dropping it.
  
  So suddenly, she had no studies, no social circle, and was living in a place she didn’t like. This led to a lot of anxiety and stress for her.
  
  At that point, she started relying heavily on our relationship as her main source of stability. For about 1–2 months, we were basically living together. She was always at my place—sleeping, eating, everything. I didn’t mind at the time, but in hindsight I realize that our relationship became her only support system.
  
  Eventually, her anxiety started affecting the relationship. She began to withdraw emotionally, and we started spending less time together. This created a cycle: her anxiety caused distance, the distance caused more anxiety, and that anxiety further damaged the relationship.
  
  Things got worse when she started withdrawing physically as well. We stopped having sex, and that became another source of anxiety for her. Even though I never pressured her and always tried to be understanding, she became afraid that I would leave her because of it. This created another cycle where the lack of intimacy caused anxiety, which then made intimacy even harder.
  
  Around Christmas, she went back to her hometown to be with her family. After that, she told me she was going to move back there temporarily because she felt much calmer at home. She still comes to my city on weekends for a theater job, and initially the plan was to see each other then.
  
  But her anxiety got worse, and she asked for space. She said she didn’t want to break up, just needed time without seeing each other so she could work on herself.
  
  I agreed, because I didn’t want to make things harder for her. But now it’s been about two months, and we’ve only grown more distant.
  
  Two weeks ago, she suggested a plan to go to the movies with some friends. It was the first time in over a month that she showed initiative to see me, and I got really hopeful. But then she canceled, saying she would be busy and tired. While that might be true, it honestly felt like an excuse—because I’ve seen her make time for other people and social plans, even when she’s busy.
  
  Right now, I feel completely stuck. I’ve tried everything: giving her space, being patient, communicating, even talking to her mom for advice. Her mom told me this is very hard for her and to keep giving her space, but I don’t see things improving.
  
  It’s been about six months without intimacy and two months without seeing each other in person. Emotionally, we’ve been drifting apart more and more, and I feel like we’re losing our connection completely.
  
  On top of that, I’m an international student, and I’ll be going back to my home country for the summer. That would mean long distance for the summer, and honestly, I don’t feel like our relationship is in a place where that would work. And I don’t want a long-distance relationship in the current state we’re in.
  
  At this point, I feel overwhelmed and unsure how to move forward.
  
  I’m considering asking her to meet in person to have a direct conversation about where we stand and what we both want going forward, especially with the possibility of long distance coming up. At the same time, I’m worried that pushing for that conversation might go against the space she asked for.
  
  I’m struggling to find the balance between respecting her need for space and addressing the fact that our relationship feels increasingly distant.
  
  \*\*How would you approach this situation? What would be the best way to handle this without making things worse?\*\*","[{'e1': 'Things', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'got worse', 'condition': 'when she started withdrawing physically as well'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'her home', 'relation': 'told me she was going to move back to', 'condition': 'after she went home for christmas'}]"
338,P0339,1s9hedb,"I have a friend I’ve known for three years. We became close at work because we both love eating good food, especially when we’re stressed. When we were working in the same company, it was usually just the two of us—we’d go out to eat, sometimes travel, go on road trips, and even have overnight stays. Whenever I have a favor to ask, he usually helps me without any questions. If I need company, he goes with me without hesitation and even offers to use his car, even if we’re going somewhere far.
  
  Eventually, I developed feelings for him (because of the things he does), but I never told him. I chose to wait and see if he would develop feelings too.
  
  Later on, we both decided to resign, so now we’re living in our respective provinces. We only see each other during conventions, which happen twice or thrice a year. Before conventions, we usually plan what to do, like where to eat or where to go. Even though we rarely see each other anymore, we still text every day.
  
  Recently, I found out he’s trying to pursue someone (though he says he's still considering whether to really pursue the other girl). I don’t know what to do. The rational thing would be to move on, but it’s complicated. Whenever I don’t text, he immediately knows something is wrong. He wouldn’t believe the “I’m just busy” excuse, because he knows that even when I’m busy, I still make time to reply after work.
  
  TL;DR: So I feel like my only option is to confess. I just don’t know if it’s the right decision, because he’s one of my closest friends—the one I can lean on anytime—and I don’t want to lose him.","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'the two of us', 'relation': 'was usually', 'condition': 'when we were working in the same company'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'usually helps ', 'condition': 'whenever I have a favour to ask'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'goes with', 'condition': 'if I need company'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'knows something is wrong with ', 'condition': ""whenever I don't text""}]"
339,P0340,1s9hcnc,"Hi everyone,
  
  I’m really struggling and don’t know whether my relationship is salvageable anymore. I’d appreciate some outside perspective.
  
  My girlfriend (24F) and I (27M) have been together for about three years. In the beginning, things were great—dates, affection, intimacy, and mutual understanding. I genuinely felt loved, and I believe she did too.
  
  After about a year, we decided to move in together. Looking back, this feels like the point where things slowly started to change. I handled most of the move and setup of the apartment while she was away for work training. When she came back, she seemed extremely stressed by the move, which I didn’t fully understand, but I tried to be patient.
  
  Over time, intimacy decreased significantly. We went from being intimate weekly to about once a month. I tried talking to her about it, asking if I was doing something wrong or if there was anything I could change. She said she needed more reassurance that I loved her, so I stepped up: I told her I loved her often, bought flowers, planned dates, gave thoughtful gifts, and took over a lot of household responsibilities (groceries, cooking, cleaning, etc.). Despite this, nothing really improved long-term.
  
  Later, she told me she was unhappy at her job. I fully supported her in finding a new one, which she did, and she seemed happier overall—but intimacy still didn’t return. Things got much worse after she stopped birth control (which I supported). Arguments became more frequent, sex basically disappeared, and she seemed completely absorbed in work and hobbies.
  
  I also worked on myself during this time. I got back into shape, started lifting seriously, and feel good about myself again. Other people have noticed the change—but it didn’t make a difference in our relationship.
  
  At some point, intimacy became extremely one-sided and felt transactional: sex only happened if she was in the mood and I had done everything “right” for weeks beforehand. I stopped initiating because I was rejected most of the time and didn’t want sex to feel like a reward for good behavior.
  
  We talked about this again, and things briefly improved, but then slowly went back to nothing. Eventually, I stopped expecting things to get better and accepted the lack of sex because everything else seemed fine. About a year ago, the relationship started feeling more like we were roommates who occasionally kiss.
  
  Since December, things have gone downhill fast. We barely spend time together. Our schedules barely overlap, and I often come home to an empty apartment because she spends a lot of her free time with colleagues or at hobbies. When she is home, she’s usually busy with tasks. Love and affection feel increasingly transactional and sparse.
  
  In January, she inherited her grandmother’s house. I have a background in construction (before finishing my engineering degree), so I took on almost all of the renovation planning and work. Looking back, I regret agreeing to it. I’ve done extensive physical and mental labor on this house while our relationship feels worse than ever.
  
  During this time, her parents were away for six weeks and we took care of their dogs. I honestly felt like she was more emotionally available to the dogs than to me. Even now, with no external obligations, she constantly fills her days with tasks. Our apartment is spotless, but there’s seemingly no time or energy left for intimacy—emotional or physical.
  
  She turns me down every time I try to initiate sometimes she turns me on just to say we have to leave and to not have time for that. I don’t know how to bring this up anymore without it turning into another temporary fix or an argument.
  
  I care about her, but I feel physically unwanted, and taken for granted. I know she still cares about me and loves me, but it’s not the way I need to be loved, and she doesn’t seem to realize it herself. I don’t know if this is something that can still be fixed or if I’m just holding on out of habit.
  
  Any advice would be appreciated.
  
  TL;DR:
  
  My girlfriend and I feel like roommates, intimacy is gone, and I don’t know whether to keep trying or end the relationship.","[{'e1': 'sex', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': 'only happened between', 'condition': 'if she was in the mood and I have done everything right'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'tasks', 'relation': 'is always busy with', 'condition': 'when she is home'}]"
340,P0341,1s9fvem,"My girlfriend has a male friend who likes her.
  
  For context, my girlfriend and I are currently in a long-distance relationship. This friend of hers is someone she got to know through uni, when she moved to her current city. 
  
  I know she really likes him as a friend, and from the few times I've met him, he seems like a really nice guy.
  
  Which is why I find it kind of a shame that he fancies my girlfriend.
  
  She suspected it before and asked him, but he denied it. 
  
  Without going into too much detail, based on his actions since then, I still believe he does.
  
  She has said in the past that she has no romantic interest in him whatsoever, and not just because she's with me. I trust her and don’t want to cause issues or make her lose a friend. Nothing inappropriate is happening.
  
  Which is why I'm not sure telling her is the best move, but I feel like she deserves to know. I want to avoid her being disappointed when it does come out.
  
  How do I tell her in a way that won't come across as me trying to distance her from him or trying to drive a wedge between them?
  
  Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!
  
  TL;DR: My girlfriends male friend likes her, and I don't know how to tell her.","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'this friend', 'relation': 'got to know', 'condition': 'when she moved to her current city'}]"
341,P0342,1s9eqml,"So me (19 F, chinese) and my boyfriend (18 M, mongolian) has been dating for 7 months but i can’t stop thinking about his past relationship (they dated for 2 years) this made me depressed, binge eat, feel shit, insecure. I stalk her often and she probabbly does the same thing as well. I genuinely dont know what im upset about, is it the fact that in insecure (im not usually insecure and everyone said im prettier), or is it the fact that they have been dating for 2 years?, or is it bc im not mongolian??. I tried to stop doing this because it is killing my mental well being and it prevents me from focusing on my studies what should i do?? (Blocking does not work) and she is very opposite of me. She looks so dark and emo but im not that type of person. My boyfriend assured me that he has never loved someone as much as now. One of his friend said i was a downgrade but we never even met before, other friends told him to stfu but im a kind of person when i got insulted by a person it’ll effect me so bad. His other friends and my friends and everyone said i am not a downgrade and im actually better than her, i can play 3 instruments, im academically competetive, im pursuing a medicine career, im very good at art/crochet, i have alot of hobbies, gym, basketball and im pretty (sorry for the glaze) but thats what i have believed and what people believed who i am and thats the reaosn why my boyfriend loved me on first sight and stuff. But even after all that, i still cant get 1 insult of my mind and i kept stalking the ex. So i probabbly thought its bc im not mongolian and that im insecure they have been tgt for 2 years and that one friend want them back tgt bc to him they look good tgt (maybe bc they met and hangout before back in mongolia so they see each ither often making it normalized) idek what im saying pls help. box
  
  \---
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?","[{'e1': 'Insults', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'affects', 'condition': 'when I get insulted'}]"
342,P0343,1s9ench,"I usually write these things down in my notes app, I really need advice now. I didn’t want to post this on here because I know the internet is quick to say “Break up.” but I don’t have any friends I can talk to about this. My family is messy and likes to gossip and gives awful relationship advice. And my mom isn’t interested in getting involved in my relationship drama, which is my fault. So this is my last resort. This was written in my notes app from the past 2 days, updates are included. Time stamps will be included in each update.
  
  Throwaway cause my boyfriend uses this app
  
  (March 30th 11:40pm) My (20F) boyfriend (21M) and I have been together for 2 years and 5 months. This is my first serious relationship and I really want to make this work as I have envisioned a future with this man. But I think this vision has clouded my view of his true feelings for me. I’ve noticed every time I talk about a future with him like, getting our own place, getting married or having kids, he doesn’t seem enthusiastic about it (at-least not as excited as I am). When I crack jokes (as corny as they are) he seems annoyed and gets quiet. The last time we were intimate I had gotten a raging headache and asked to pause. He said “okay” went under the covers and used his phone. Even though he said it was okay, I still felt his frustration and how cold he was towards me when I asked if he was mad at me. I decided to push through the headache to resume the intimacy cause I felt extremely guilty. Late at night I’ll ask “are we okay?” “Are you annoyed with me?” “Do you still love me?” He’ll always says “yes, No, of course I do baby” and I’ll be reassured for a while, and then the cycle will repeat. I read a Reddit story on here where OP’s wife asked “what do you love about me” and he complied a list of things he loved about his wife (give it a read, it is the most beautiful story ever) and it inspired me to make my own list of what I love about him. Half way through of writing I started crying because, what if I ask him this question and his answer is just “I don’t know” or he just goes silent.. would this mean that all the “I love you”s over the years were just hollow? I have a tendency to over analyze and overthink things. I feel like I might be doing this again. But I’m also fearful that I’m right…
  
  Update (march 31st 1:02am): I called him after sobbing and asked him “what does he love about me”
  
  He said that he thinks I’m really pretty, and that we have good chemistry together. He said it was hard to put into words about what he actually loves about me. I ended up crying further, telling him what I listed above. He said that he wasn’t falling out of love with me, and laughed saying “if I was, why would I have you over at my house a few weeks ago? that would be stupid.” (we are a long distance couple) he told me to remember that he loves me and that he will always love me. I don’t know why, but this just made me feel worse. That maybe I am crying for no reason..
  
  Update 2(April 1st 3:58am): called him up again and told him all the things that I love about him. I pointed out that I admire how motivated and determined he is. How he has been knocked down so many times and yet he comes back stronger. I love how I can have the crappiest day, and without even knowing it he makes me laugh with his “vocal stim” from a meme that I have no idea about, but I’ll look it up anyways so we can have something we can laugh about together. I also love how safe I feel with him, how every time we cuddle I enjoy the back kisses he gives me. I explained how his reasonings didn’t give me comfort because, you can have chemistry and similarities with anyone, a friend, a family member. I asked him, is there anything that I do exclusively that makes him happy? Anything that I do that makes him love me? He went quiet.. honestly I don’t even know if this conversation is even worth perusing anymore. I don’t want to beat on a dead horse..
  
  TL;DR I feel like deep down my boyfriend is falling out of love with me, so I decided to ask “what does he love about me” he said he thinks I’m really pretty, and that we have good chemistry. However, this didn’t really reassure me, and I feel as though I am overthinking this and being very selfish.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'seems annoyed', 'condition': 'when I crack jokes'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets quiet', 'condition': 'when I crack jokes'}]"
343,P0344,1s9emul,"We're both from an Asian country. I've been seeing this woman for about a month, and we're really into each other. There's a strong emotional and physical connection, and whenever we meet we're very affectionate.
  
  Recently, when things started getting more sexual, I found out she's a virgin, although she has had a few past relationships. I'm more experienced, and this made me pause and think more seriously about the situation.
  
  The complication is that we're both planning to move abroad soon, to different countries (for work and postgrad). Because of that, I feel like this relationship might have a limited timeframe.
  
  We've talked about it a few times. We both acknowledge the situation but still want to see where things go and try to make it work for as long as we can.
  
  What I'm struggling with is how to approach this in a way that's fair to both of us-especially considering her inexperience and the likelihood that this may not turn into something long-term.
  
  I'm looking for advice on how to navigate this situation thoughtfully.
  
  Specifically, how can I balance enjoying the relationship while being honest about the likely future?
  
  what are some respectful and clear ways to communicate expectations and boundaries around physical intimacy in this situation?
  
  TL;DR: Seeing a woman I really like for a month; strong connection, but she's a virgin and we'll soon move to different countries. Unsure how to handle the relationship and intimacy responsibly given it may be short-term.","[{'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'each other', 'relation': 'are affectionate towards', 'condition': 'whenever we meet'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' a virigin', 'relation': 'found out she is', 'condition': 'when things started getting things started getting sexual'}]"
344,P0345,1s9bghl,"I (18F) honestly feel like I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, so I’m turning to Reddit. I’ve never told anyone that I have a girlfriend (18F, I’ll call her K). We met about five years ago in middle school and became really close friends around four years ago. That’s when we started catching feelings for each other. We’ve been dating for two years now, and somehow we’ve kept it completely private this whole time from her unsupportive Catholic parents.
  
  For some background, K and I are currently seniors, a few months away from graduating, and are starting to realize we won’t be able to easily hide our relationship after we’ve finished high school. I know this issue may sound silly because we’re both still only in high school and have so much life ahead of us, but neither of us are unintelligent. Her and I are top in the class and not just another pair of dumb high schoolers. We are both aware high school relationships don’t usually last, and this may as well just be another “dumb” relationship that happened once upon a time. But for us, we know we could live our entire lives together just as happy as any other couple even if we’re both girls — and I’m not just saying that.
  
  We’ve chosen to keep our relationship a secret because both of us are very private people. Nobody knows either of us like girls, and we live in a small suburban town where being gay is usually frowned upon. The largest reason is that my girlfriend, K, comes from an extremely Catholic family.
  
  I’m going to keep it vague so I don’t write too much (but I’m willing to add more if it helps with context), but her family is pretty intense, and not in a good way. Her father has very slight autism, so he doesn’t help much with family issues, and her mother has some sort of issues (possibly BPD or narcissism). A few months ago, her mother found a note she had written me that said “I love you, honey” in it (I know, cringe). K was able to play it off as a joke, but before that her mother threatened to send her to a conversion therapy camp. Her father had a talk with her after the note was found and said that if she was ever in a gay relationship, it would “break his heart.” Which was just a punch to the gut.
  
  K herself is still Catholic and holds all of her same beliefs, but also loves me even though she is not supposed to. I know that’s confusing, and not all Catholics would agree with it but that just how it is. (Sorry)
  
  Currently, we are at a crossroads. We’ve realized our relationship has a fast approaching expiration date. I’ve tried to leave the decision of whether or not we should stay together up to my girlfriend because she’s ultimately the one who would be possibly losing her family. 
  
  The only issue is, we don’t want to lose each other, which makes this situation feel like an inescapable trap, a lose-lose. Both of us have been so in best friends and so in love I couldn’t even begin to describe it. I don’t want to end things before they can truly begin, but I also don’t want her to lose her family over a relationship that COULD end. I am positive it wouldn’t, just because of the type of people her and I are. Then again I’m an 18-year-old with no where to turn to but Reddit.
  
  What should we do? End things now before it hurts more, stay together and risk it getting worse later, take a break, or just let things play out?
  
  TL;DR:
  
  I (18F) have been in a secret relationship with my girlfriend (18F) for 2 years after starting as close friends in middle school. We’re both about to graduate and realize it will be much harder to keep our relationship hidden, especially because she has very strict Catholic parents who are strongly against her being in a same-sex relationship and have already threatened conversion therapy.
  
  We deeply love each other and believe we could have a future together, but we’re stuck at a crossroads. We’re unsure whether to stay together and risk her family finding out and possibly losing them, break up now to avoid future pain, take a break, or just continue and see what happens. We feel like there’s no good option and don’t know what to do next.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'things', 'relation': ""don't want to end"", 'condition': 'before they can truly begin'}]"
345,P0346,1s9ai9r,"I am writing this after 2 days of continuous crying and breakdowns. I badly need help here. 
  
  We met on a dating app and were not looking for anything serious. She already had several matches, but never went on a date with anyone. After the second date, we liked each other. But I got transferred to a different location for my work. We had to decide whether to continue it in LDR or drop it. She never wanted to do a LDR, but she agreed to give it a try because she likes me and doesn't want to lose me. 
  
  The long-distance relationship was a bit rough at the start and had taken a mental toll on both of us. I managed to travel to see her once, and she came to meet me once. The meetings felt so good and lovely as we had a lot of sex and went out to eat food and all the stuff romantic couples do. It compensated for the hardship we faced during LDR. 
  
  Things got really bad at my workplace, and I had to deal with a lot of workplace toxicity and harassment by the manager. At those times, she stood by my side and comforted me a lot. But things went out of hand and I resigned from my job and went back to my hometown which is very far from where she stays. 
  
  It's been 2 months since we met and she brought up the topic twice saying that she is not liking the long distance relationship as it is mentally very draining. She was never very expressive virtually and she always preferred to feel the person in physical over video calls and chats. She said she's unhappy with this but doesn't know what to do about it. She didn't jump into breaking up because she likes me a lot as a person. 
  
  After I came back to my hometown to the place where my parents live, my daily schedule has been changed. I was not available for late night phone calls as I decided to wake up early everyday to fix my sleep cycle. Our interactions were also decreased significantly as I started hanging out with my local friends. All of these changes have started piling up.
  
  2 days ago she called me and told me that she wants to break up with me for the mentioned reasons and said she's not feeling like she's with someone anymore. She said she's feeling empty and alone and she's not receiving anything a normal dating couple gets. This was a shock for me as I never expected that she'll take such a decision. I have been crying a lot for the past 2 days. I requested her to stay back and begged her that we will sort out the issues and work things out. But she said she already took her call and there's no going back. 
  
  She called me again last night and said she thought she won't miss me much once she stopped talking to me but she's feeling the other way. She cannot stop thinking about me and literally gave her a headache. So said she is taking back her decision on break up. Its kinda relieving because she will continue calling me and talk to me. 
  
  I want to change things now. I want to be a better partner and want to make her feel like she's seen, heard and feel that she's actually with someone good. We both believe that we have good intellectual compatibility and we never had any fight/argument/disagreement over anything. 
  
  Please help me fix my relationship and have her for my life. I love her very much and I started seeing a future with her. 
  
  TL;DR: Met a girl on a dating app, unexpectedly fell for each other, and continued as a long-distance relationship after I moved for work. LDR was emotionally draining, but we made it work with visits. After I quit my toxic job and moved back home, my availability dropped and communication suffered. She felt increasingly unhappy and broke up with me, saying she felt alone in the relationship. I begged her to stay, but she refused—then later called saying she misses me and wants to get back together. Now I want to fix things and be a better partner, but I don’t know how.","[{'e1': 'We ', 'e2': 'each other', 'relation': 'liked', 'condition': 'after the second date'}]"
346,P0347,1s99ytq,"This is long and sounds weird, but here we go. So I (21M) met this guy (31M, I’ll call him Hank) on reddit about 15 months ago. I live on the east coast in the states, he’s from the UK. At first, our relationship was mainly based around a sexual dynamic. All very healthy, fun, and consensual. Over time, I began asking more about him, a friendship developed. Maybe around 8 months in, Hank said he didn’t want to do sexual stuff to the same degree anymore, citing us getting closer and some changes in his personal life. I understood completely, he stepped away for a while but eventually we kept talking again regularly. About 4 months ago I broke up with my long term partner. She was aware and perfectly accepting of the nature of my relationship with Hank, and he had nothing to do with my breakup with her. 
  
  As you might guess, since then things between me and Hank have gotten more intense. I leaned on him quite a bit during the breakup, he was there for me, as he had been often before. This was the first time I told him I loved him, he reciprocated the feeling. Even before the breakup I had these feelings for him, I just thought it was purely platonic love. The past few months that has changed. About a month or two ago I confronted him, he agreed there was something more between us. He said he loved and cared for me greatly, but given the age and geographical difference, that to have me commit to him would be manipulative. He reasons I am young and hot (his words), and that I should go and have the experiences that come with that. He doesn’t want me to be in a relationship with him because he doesn’t think it’s fair to me. 
  
  Objectively, I understand he isn’t completely wrong and just looking out for me. He also said that nothing would change if we were officially “together”. It’s kinda funny but he’s right about that too. We text all the time, call a few times a month (difficult to arrange between the time difference and our busy schedules.) We tell each other good morning/night, “I love you” a lot, and generally all the cutesy bullshit you do when you’re in a relationship with someone. Just yesterday we were telling each other what we loved about the other. If it’s not clear, I am helplessly in love with this guy. I can only assume he must feel similar. I often tease him about this fact, and that he still won’t have me. We still will joke we’re boyfriends/hubby. 
  
  We also both hookup/do other things with people. This has never been an issue between us, just context. Personally I am very sex positive and genuinely don’t care about that sort of thing. I consider myself bi but mostly am only emotionally attracted to guys. So I am perfectly fine with this arrangement. 
  
  Today, he sent me the definition of “avoidant attachment” with no context, he didn’t really need to explain. He’s had past trauma with relationships before, and has told me he’s perfectly fine never romantically dating again. He will be vulnerable around me but it’s rare, typically I don’t push a whole lot when he is as I know it’s hard for him. He also has self-esteem and body issues (despite being absolutely wonderful and adorable). So, I wonder if he’s scared of me, or genuinely just wants to “protect” me. I’m not sure what he’s protecting me from at this point. We love each other and I still have the freedom to have those youthful experiences (i.e hookups lol). It must be killing him like it is me, wish he’d stop fucking around and ask me officially. I have the feeling that he’s starting to feel even more strongly about me. 
  
  I graduate college this spring, and in the summer I am going across the US to work. But when I get back I plan to go visit him in the UK. I feel so much towards him, I just want to hold him and tell him he’s beautiful and loved. I obviously want to visit him IRL first, but I could see a genuine future with him. We have quite a lot in common and just a good connection. He knows this, just doesn’t think it could work logistically or anything else. I know in these types of posts with this sort of age gap there’s always trouble. But I believe he’s been 100% transparent our whole relationship, and he has always looked out for me. How should I navigate this, should I just do nothing and enjoy things for what they are?
  
  tdlr; Friend doesn’t want me to be tied down to him and miss opportunities while I am young because of him.","[{'e1': 'Nothing ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'will change', 'condition': 'if we were officially together'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'this guy', 'relation': 'am hopelessly in love with', 'condition': 'if it is not clear'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a lot', 'relation': ""don't push"", 'condition': 'when he is being vulnerable'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'plan to go visit', 'condition': 'when I get back '}]"
347,P0348,1s992ya,"Hey guys, I need some insight and opinion I’m really struggling with my mental health because of my current relationship.
  
  First off im 24 and she’s 21, we’ve been together officially for 5 months. Before getting into this relationship I was very skeptical because of her past many people had warned me she is not ready for a relationship and is a very very flirty girl. The main issue here I’m going to bring up is recently there were two occasions where I said I wasn’t comfortable with something and the same thing happened again literally two days later. First off she went with her girlfriends to this random guys house that I don’t know and stayed up until 5am drinking and doing cocaine, I told her the doing cocaine party with random guys that I don’t know made me uncomfortable for obvious reasons. She apologised and understood but then again two days later she did it again. I can’t really wrap my head around it and it probably should’ve ended there but I really had hope that she’s changing. Recently also she was at the club and getting touchy with other guys, I will say this I hold myself to the same standards, I don’t go out and touch other girls I think it’s disrespectful and I know it may make her feel some type of way. Anyways I told her have fun do what you want but please just don’t touch other guys I think it’s unnecessary. I’m not talking about a little touch she was grabbing the guy from behind like hugging him too. Anyways yet again two days later the same thing happened. We had a massive argument she broke down saying she needed me and begged me to stay and said she finally understood my views. Ever since this I can’t wrap my head around it. I’ve told her and I know this I cannot change her and I don’t want to change her, I will never try to control her but I feel like if we continue I would start to get controlling but I would leave before then because that’s not the type of guy I am. I just think we are not compatible and have different values. She is a party girl, I’m not a party guy. She says she’s changing but I can’t trust her anymore, I do love her a lot but I can’t seem to find it in me to end it…
  
  TL;DR: I’ve communicated my boundaries multiple times, she agrees then crosses them again almost immediately. I care about her but it’s affecting my mental health and I don’t think we’re compatible.
  
  **Just to clarify her friends were the ones who said she wasn’t ready for a relationship**","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'would start to get controlling of', 'condition': 'if we continue in the relationship'}]"
348,P0349,1s98fcl,"I don’t really know how to explain it to her. Every time I try she asks me what to say and then when I explain it she never does. When I ask her to send me updates every now and then when she’s out, she never does. She doesn’t ask any of this of me so it makes it a little more difficult to explain to her and make her understand. It seems although she doesn’t need my affection at all or my words to keep her loving me, but the moment she doesn’t respond to my text during a conversation I begin to overthink, or the moment she goes dry over text the same thing happens. What do I say to allows her to understand and/or how do I get over this need for reassurance? 
  
  TL;DR; my girlfriend doesn’t need any reassurance but I do, how do I get her to understand?","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' updates', 'relation': 'never sends', 'condition': ""When I ask her to send me updates or when she's out""}]"
349,P0350,1s98905,"There's a girl (19f) I (19m) took to a college mixer party on Saturday, we have mutual friends and I know she at least liked me at the time. I feel like we had a great time at the party. We spent the whole time together and she seemed to laugh at all my jokes and vice versa. After things kinda died down, went to a bar with a few other people. I had my arm around her the whole time and she was leaning into me. Again it felt like we had a good connection, talking with her just felt easy and nice. We ended up leaving the bar as a group and she said she had to go home early because she had a super early shift so I walked her back to her apartment. She then asked if I wanted a tour and we went to her room.
  
  This is where I feel I may have messed things up. As our conversation kinda died down I asked again about her shift in the morning, which she had made clear throughout the night that she was concerned about. I feel as though I asked in a way that made my intentions clear. I said something along the lines of ""so you really have an early shift"" ""I don't want to be in your way if you want to go to bed."" I feel like this gave her the opportunity to let me know I could stay and make a move but she said that yes she did have to be up early and responded with ""another night"", not clarifying what that meant.
  
  I texted her in Sunday, the day after, to ask how her shift went and we texted back and forth a little bit. But now it's Tuesday and we haven't talked since Sunday. I want to get conversations going again but I don't know how without being awkward or too forward. There's a party this upcoming Saturday that I know she will be at and I want to kind of clear the air before then. I am excited to see her but I don't want her to think it's awkward or think I'm not interested. But maybe she's no longer interested? Idk I feel like everything went well except for the way our night ended and our lack of communication since.
  
  So I want to ask you guys what should I do now? What do you think she might be thinking? Thanks!
  
  This is where I feel I may have messed things up. As our conversation kinda died down I asked again about her shift in the morning, which she had made clear throughout the night that she was concerned about. I feel as though I asked in a way that made my intentions clear. I said something along the lines of ""so you really have an early shift"" ""I don't want to be in your way if you want to go to bed."" I feel like this gave her the opportunity to let me know I could stay and make a move but she said that yes she did have to be up early and responded with ""another night"", not clarifying what that meant.
  
  I texted her in Sunday, the day after, to ask how her shift went and we texted back and forth a little bit. But now it's Tuesday and we haven't talked since Sunday. I want to get conversations going again but I don't know how without being awkward or too forward. There's a party this upcoming Saturday that I know she will be at and I want to kind of clear the air before then. I am excited to see her but I don't want her to think it's awkward or think I'm not interested. But maybe she's no longer interested, Idk. I feel like everything went well except for the way our night ended and our lack of communication since.
  
  So I want to ask you guys what should I do now? What do you think she might be thinking? Thanks!
  
  TL;DR: I went with a girl to a party and we hit it off but didn't kiss or anything. We talked the day after but nothing since. Where do I go from here?","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'the bar', 'relation': 'went to', 'condition': 'after things kind of died down'}]"
350,P0351,1s978ot,"Throw away account ; My friend 24F ( wants to be an independent woman) got back with her LDR Ex 26M. I’m watching her mental health tank in the first week and now she is doing better . How do I handle this?
  
  The Background:
  
  My friend 24F and her ex 26M were together for about 4 years. The first 3 years were in person during undergrad and moved to a foreign country for higher studies . but as soon as they transitioned to a LDR in the last year, things got incredibly hard and they had a massive breakup. Since then, they’ve been on-and-off 1 to 2 times. Recently, they officially got back together (still LDR), and she is keeping it secretive until I confronted it and she admitted. 
  
  The Core Issue: His Behavior
  
  When they went long-distance, Some of the things he did and which led to breakup :
  
  • Policing her clothes: He fights with her over how she dresses, specifically bodycon or sleeveless dresses. He accuses her of ""wearing them to show everyone her beauty."" (The hypocrisy is that his own sister wears sleeveless dresses and he doesn't care).
  
  He doesn't want her talking to any guys and accuses her of ""letting them talk to you,"" effectively cutting her off from any male friends / interactions .
  
  • The Digital Leash: He demands immediate responses for his texts / calls . She used to get stressed about not responding at the earliest 
  
  • Backchanneling: When they were broke up, he went behind her back to her best friend let’s say X and she (X) asked my friend to give it one more more try . Apparent one more close friend Y didn’t like that and which ended up causing a fight and fracture within her friend group.
  
  The Current Situation: Not sure whether he has changed . She wanted to try one more time And they did few months ago and didn’t work out not sure what the reason was . Now they are back at it again .
  
  she didn’t share much details as I’m opposing this.
  
  . Does the controlling partner ever actually change, or is he just masking during this ""reunion"" phase? How do I support her without validating him? Reddit recommended “Why does he do that “ and seems his behavior is kind of abusive . When I confronted that these behaviors are kind of abusive and she responded in a way that she knew about it. . I want opinion from fellow redditors about what’s she thinking and how do I make her realize relationship will take toll on her mental health. 
  
  TLDR; my friend (24F) secretly got back with her LDR ex (26M) after a difficult breakup. He exhibits controlling behavior policing her clothing, isolating her from male friends, demanding constant location attention, and even reaching out to her friends behind her back to monitor her during their breakup. She keeps the relationship secret and hides her phone. I want to support her without validating his behavior. Is this abuse, and how do I help without pushing her away? TIA and appreciate your opinion.","[{'e1': 'They ', 'e2': 'a massive breakup', 'relation': 'had', 'condition': 'as soon as they transitioned to LDR'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'her best friend', 'relation': 'went behind her back to', 'condition': 'when they were broke up'}]"
351,P0352,1s96lo1,"My boyfriend, 26 M, asked me, 24 F, to move in together and relocate to another state after we returned from a vacation where I met his extended family.
  
  He brought up the idea right after the trip, but it was a brief conversation since I needed time to gather my thoughts. Less than a week later, on our one-year anniversary, I tried to revisit the topic. This time, he said he’d be fine moving states—as long as we lived separately. I was upset, especially because he was the one to bring it up. Anyway, I explained that the timing wasn’t great because I’ll be in the middle of grad school interviews when our leases end. Then he said he’s probably moving across the city (we currently live two blocks apart) if we stay where we currently are. For now, I’m resigning on mine for 6 months and he’s finding a 6 month lease so we still have the option to leave, but at a better time.
  
  For context: we dated for about five months before he had to move states for work. Six months later, he said he’d come back if we decided to give the relationship a real shot—so now he’s living two blocks from me. In total, if we count the time we were dating originally AND the time we stayed in touch, we would be at 2 years together.
  
  I feel like we were about to take a step forward, and instead, he’s taking two steps back. In my last relationship, my partner got cold feet right before we were supposed to move in together and ended up cheating on me with their ex. I know some lingering feelings might be resurfacing, but now I’m even questioning whether he’d actually move to wherever I get into grad school.
  
  I’m feeling a little confused by the whole thing and am thinking we may end up not working out since he said he doesn’t want so many new things at once (new place and living together). How do I move forward from this mess of communication? I think it might stick with me for a while.
  
  TL;DR: BF floated moving in together and out of state, then flipped to living separately and staying in the city within a week. Now we're both signing six-month leases, but he’s wanting to move across the city when right now he lives 2 blocks from me. Given my past relationship trauma around moving in together, I'm questioning his stability and commitment—especially with grad school looming. Am I overthinking?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'states', 'relation': 'would be fine moving', 'condition': 'as long as we lived seperately'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'the city', 'relation': 'is probably moving across', 'condition': 'if we stay where we currently are'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'will come back to', 'condition': 'if we decided to give the relationship a real shot'}, {'e1': 'we ', 'e2': '2 years ', 'relation': 'would be have been together', 'condition': 'if we count the the time we were dating orginally and the time we stayed in touch'}]"
352,P0353,1s8qxbk,"As the title says bfs emotions took a dive and he proceeded to isolate for 4 days spoke to me on the 5th days after feeling better and like I understand what it's like for your emotions to take a dive out of nowhere and feel depressed which is why I don't want to be to harsh with him about this, on the other hand I feel like as his girlfriend i cant just let this pass by like this?? (It's the first time he does this btw) 
  
  TL;DR; if anytime one of us felt upset self isolated for almost a week this would become a problem?? A relationship cant function like this right?","[{'e1': 'My bf', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'spoke on the 5th day to', 'condition': 'after feeling better'}]"
353,P0354,1s8p07x,"I (36 F)had a conversation with my partner (36 M) over the weekend and I expressed I that I was feeling a little lonely and unwanted the past few weeks, due to always making effort to plan things, never been asked about my day or how I was feeling with flu despite me asking multiple times how we was and trying to make him better etc.
  
  He's going through a lot of childhood trauma at the moment which I know is difficult and totally understand. I was trying to see if his unwillingness to do anything and lack of interest in anything was completely due to that or if I had done anything. He flipped out and accused me of making it about me. I calmy said I'm not I just want to talk and understand you. He completely stonewalled me then even while I was rubbing his back and trying to hold his hand all the while avoiding eye contact looking away. When I said I'm just looking for a reassurance you care I was met with nothing. Then I said look I'm sorry for bringing this up I just want you to know I care about you. Nothing agsin so I said his name and repeated last statement and he angrily exasperated OK I heard you. 
  
  Then silence for another while. I happened to notice my sister had sent on a photo of my nephew on WhatsApp with a new haircut so went to show him to lighten mood and break silence when he erupted I don't give a shit about any of that and stormed off. I was extremely upset after this and started crying, he made no effort to comfort me in any way and eventually I just left and said I'm going head off there. He heard me but ignored and so I said it again, he had his back to me and just said fine whatever. I messaged when I got home 
  
  I know you're going through a lot at the moment and I do really want to be there for you and support you but the way you treated me earlier really upset me
  
  He replied two days after with this
  
  I'm sorry for upsetting you and for being awful. I have had a difficult couple of weeks and have found things very tough lately
  
  TLDR Just wondering what do I say going forward. Is this normal behaviour?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'nothing', 'relation': 'was met with', 'condition': 'when I was just looking for reassurance'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'messaged', 'condition': 'when I got home'}]"
354,P0355,1s8oe6t,"I dont know if I should be in this relationship. I (23 M) have been with my partner(32 M)for about 2 years coming up in April. I get along with him well and we have our good moments and we dont fight at all. But I feel like its just so repetitive with us. He doesnt enjoy going out with my friend group he still does when he has the night off but he doesnt enjoy himself and complains afterwards about how my friend group acts(theyre a rowdy group). I still try and spend time doing things he enjoys (mostly game nights with his friends). I just feel like its a fairly boring and repetitive relationship and I dont really feel happy. We live together and have a cat together I just dont know if I wanna be in the relationship anymore. I guess im posting to see if anyone's been in a similar situation and has advice? 
  
  TL;DR: I dont know if im happy we dont have much in common and I feel like its come to a standstill in our relationship","[{'e1': 'He ', 'e2': 'my friend group', 'relation': 'goes out with', 'condition': 'when he has the night off'}]"
355,P0356,1s8n7a5,"TL;DR: I made mistakes early in the relationship (past flirting, not being fully transparent), which broke my girlfriend’s trust. Since then she’s become distant, says she lost feelings, and gives unclear answers about our future. I’ve cut off friends and overextended myself trying to fix things, while also dealing with pressure from home. It now feels like I’m the only one trying and she’s emotionally checked out. I don’t know if this can still be saved or if I’m just holding on. 
  
  
  I really need honest opinions because I feel like my relationship is falling apart and I don’t know what to do anymore.
  
  There’s a lot to this, so I’ll try to explain everything properly.
  
  Before I got into this relationship, I had flirted with a few girls. After I got with my girlfriend, I stopped all of that and stayed loyal. One of those girls was my girl best friend, who used to like me before I asked out my current girlfriend. After getting into the relationship, I explicitly asked her if she still liked me, and she said no, so I thought everything was fine.
  
  I even introduced my girlfriend to her in real life so there would be no misunderstandings, and they actually bonded at first. But after some time, my girlfriend told me she felt uncomfortable with the kind of reels my girl best friend was sending me (they had slight romantic vibes). I tried to fix the situation, but it didn’t really work, so I ended up blocking my girl best friend.
  
  When I blocked her, she freaked out and called me right in front of my girlfriend, which made things worse. After that, I slowly distanced myself completely and eventually cut her off.
  
  Another issue is that my girlfriend thinks I lied about my girl best friend liking me. From my side, I didn’t think I was lying because I had already confirmed with her that she didn’t like me anymore, but my girlfriend still feels like I hid the truth.
  
  There’s also been issues involving my girlfriend’s girl best friend. She has always supported our relationship, but I’ve always felt a bit off about her.
  
  For example, on her birthday, my girlfriend posted a video of her girl best friend kissing her on the cheek. It made me uncomfortable seeing someone else kiss my girlfriend, so I communicated that. But she shut it down quickly and said it’s normal and that everyone does it. Later she did delete the story after I asked.
  
  Then her girl best friend sent me a video where she was touching my girlfriend’s thigh and made a video out of it, which honestly made me really uncomfortable. More recently, she even sent me a reel implying that friends are more important than me. I reacted and confronted her, but my girlfriend still took her side.
  
  Another big issue is trust. My girlfriend once asked me about some girls I follow. I told her they were just friends, but I had actually flirted with them in the past and I genuinely forgot about it at that moment. When she found out later, it became a big issue. She felt like I lied, and she even threatened to break up. After that, I removed every girl from my following list.
  
  I admit that I made mistakes, and I understand why she lost trust in me.
  
  At the same time, she also has a lot of guy friends, including some she met online. One time she accused me of checking out another girl (which I genuinely wasn’t doing), and it turned into her threatening to break up with me. After that, she went and told everything to one of her male friends and even got on a call with some guys, but didn’t tell me about it until 3 days later.
  
  One of those male friends even sent her a voice note telling her that she should leave me and that my efforts don’t matter if I make mistakes like this. That honestly hurt because I’ve been putting in effort consistently—I’ve been picking her up from her home and dropping her back almost every day throughout our 7-month relationship.
  
  On our 6-month anniversary, I posted about us, but she didn’t post me. Instead, she posted her best friend. In general, she avoids posting me and says it’s because her account is public and she doesn’t want everyone to know, which makes me feel like I’m being hidden.
  
  Another thing about me is that I tend to overextend a lot in this relationship. I care more about her happiness than mine, and even if I’m not comfortable with something, I still go along with it just to keep her happy.
  
  But now things feel completely different. She says she has lost her “soft spot” for me. Whenever we talk, it’s not romantic anymore—she calls me “bro” or “homie,” and when I say “I love you,” she just says “ok.” She doesn’t really ask about my day or show interest in me anymore, while I still try to put in effort.
  
  Whenever I try to talk about the future of our relationship or where we’re heading, she just says “I don’t know” or “maybe,” which makes me feel even more uncertain and anxious.
  
  At the same time, things at home aren’t good either. My mom often gets angry at me and scolds me a lot. Recently, I missed her calls while I was talking to my girlfriend, and it turned into her saying she won’t call me again even if it’s an emergency. That really affected me mentally and I ended up breaking down.
  
  There were also issues with my own friends. She believed for a long time that they were misogynistic, even though I never saw them that way. Because of that, I distanced myself from them too. Now I don’t really have anyone to hang out with.
  
  At this point, I feel like I’ve lost my girlfriend emotionally, my best friend, and even my own friend circle. If this relationship ends, I feel like I’ll be completely alone.
  
  I also think this might be affecting me more because of my past. Growing up, my parents used to fight a lot and I had to switch between living with my mom and dad. I feel like I’ve just learned to deal with things on my own, but this is getting too much.
  
  I really want to fix everything. I'm trying my best but i just feel like she doesn't care.
  
  I really love her and i think she wants to fix this too but she doesn't show any type of interest which makes me believe that she actually wants to fix this. I really love her and i would give up absolutely anything and anyone for her. Please be honest here tho will update this regularly. Help","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'girls', 'relation': 'stopped flirting with', 'condition': 'after I got with my gitlfriend'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' my girlfriend', 'relation': 'called me in front of', 'condition': 'when I blocked her'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'the story', 'relation': 'deleted', 'condition': 'after I asked'}, {'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'a big issue', 'relation': 'became', 'condition': 'when she found out later'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'is not romantic to', 'condition': 'whenever we talk '}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': ""just says she doesn't know"", 'condition': 'whenever I try to talk about the future of our relationship'}]"
356,P0357,1s8kdj0,"I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for about two years, and I’m seriously questioning whether I should stay in this relationship even though things have been relatively calm recently.
  
  Throughout our relationship, we’ve had multiple serious conversations about the same recurring issues: his lack of independence, the behavior of his friends, and the fact that he avoids conflict when others say or do things that upset me. I often feel like I have to “teach” him basic responsibilities, like cleaning up after himself or contributing around the house. More importantly, I’ve repeatedly asked him to stand up for me when his friends cross boundaries (e.g., making inappropriate jokes or doing things that make me uncomfortable), but he tends to avoid those situations or doesn’t fully understand why it matters.
  
  Each time we talk about it, he acknowledges it and promises to change. We’ve had arguments where I made it clear that this could be a dealbreaker for me. But despite those conversations, the pattern hasn’t really changed.
  
  At the same time, he is very kind, loving, and emotionally supportive. I feel safe with him, and he gives me space and understanding. However, I’ve noticed that a lot of this only happens when I explicitly communicate what I need. This is also his first relationship, and he still lives at home where his mother takes care of most things. He says he will learn and grow once we move in together, but I feel like I need to see that growth now not later.
  
  I genuinely love him, and I know he wouldn’t initiate a breakup himself. That makes this even harder, because I feel like I’m the one who has to make a decision that could hurt both of us. I’m also scared that I might not find a connection like this again, but at the same time, I’m worried I’m holding onto potential instead of reality.
  
  About a month ago, we had another serious conversation about his independence, and since then things have been “good.” But recently, after booking a trip together for June, I suddenly felt unsure like I don’t know if I can continue this long-term if nothing fundamentally changes.
  
  So my question is: how do you determine whether these kinds of issues are something a partner can realistically grow out of, or if it’s better to walk away despite the love that’s there?
  
  TL;DR: I (23F) love my boyfriend (23M), but after two years of repeated conversations about his lack of independence and boundaries, nothing really changes. Things are calm now, but I’m unsure if I can stay long-term. How do I know if this is fixable or if I should leave?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'conflicts', 'relation': 'avoids ', 'condition': 'when others say or do things that upset me'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'have asked him to stand up for', 'condition': 'when his friends cross boundaries'}, {'e1': 'i', 'e2': 'a lot of this', 'relation': 'have noticed that', 'condition': 'only happens when I explicitly communicate what I need'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' long term', 'relation': ""don't know if I can continue"", 'condition': 'if nothing fundamentally changes'}]"
357,P0358,1s8g787,"My boyfriend (28M) and I (30F) have been together for 3 years and recently moved in together. We’re struggling with splitting household responsibilities and I’m starting to feel really overwhelmed.
  
  In the beginning, I took on most of the chores because I work from home and he had a long commute (45 min–1 hour). I was doing the cooking, dishes, groceries, and laundry. Eventually I burned out and we agreed to split things more evenly.
  
  Recently, he found a new job and now his commute is only about 10 minutes, so the original reason for me taking on more doesn’t really apply anymore.
  
  Right now, I handle cooking and we’re supposed to share things like groceries and laundry, while he’s mainly responsible for dishes. The problem is that I still feel like I’m managing everything. The dishes don’t get done unless I remind him (sometimes they sit for days), and I feel like I have to keep track of what needs to be done.
  
  Today kind of pushed me over the edge. I had a really busy workday and he had the day off, but he kept asking me what we should do for lunch and to walk the dog together instead of just doing those things himself. I ended up making lunch and walking the dog anyway to avoid conflict.
  
  Later, when I was still working and couldn’t go on another walk, he got upset at me for not telling him earlier. I also asked him to do laundry earlier in the day and he said he’d do it “later,” but by 10pm he said it was too late and didn’t do it.
  
  I ended up ordering dinner because I was too exhausted to cook.
  
  I feel like I’m carrying both the physical chores and the mental load of managing the household, and it’s starting to build resentment. At the same time, I don’t want to nag or feel like I’m micromanaging him.
  
  Has anyone dealt with this dynamic before? How do you split responsibilities in a way that actually works without one person having to constantly remind the other?
  
  TL;DR: I (30F) feel like I’m carrying most of the mental load and household responsibilities even though my boyfriend (28M) and I agreed to split things. He doesn’t follow through unless I remind him, and I’m starting to feel burned out and resentful.","[{'e1': 'The dishes', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'do not get done', 'condition': 'unless I remind him'}]"
358,P0359,1s8d2w9,"I’m hoping that people who can relate to this can answer 🥲
  
  Essentially my ex was some super family loving guy so I got to meet his family at like the one month mark. Turns out his mom is super nice and we hit off so well right away. 
  
  Like, when my ex was away and left his mom alone I would go to her place and walk the dog and hang out with her kinda thing. And we could talk for HOURS. 
  
  It definitely was a factor I considered when breaking up with him (soo stupid, I know). 
  
  So I actually went out with her for a little while before breaking up with my ex because I lowk wanted that closure. It was a 7 month relationship. (Although for me it was over at the 2 month mark. Yes. I stayed uninvested for THAT long)
  
  Well shortly after, I got offered a job somewhere 7 hours away for the summer. Begrudgingly ended up meeting someone. Which was hard for me to settle into, because I had been looking forward to being single for a while. This guy ended up asking me to be his girlfriend after knowing him for 6 weeks, and now we’re coming up to 8 months together and everything is so amazing!! My ex was my first boyfriend and it was a lowk traumatizing experience that my boyfriend is really undoing. 
  
  So fast track to a few weeks ago, when my ex’s mom reached out for the first time in July. But the conversation lowk was left on a weird note where there wasn’t any real final message, just a last message sent (from me) and no response. 
  
  I sort of half want to reach out but I’m not sure what I’d even say really. Like, I don’t know. She’d leave my messages like this all the time when her son and I were dating, so it’s not like this is out of the ordinary, but it is just weird now. 
  
  That said if I did reach out to her my boyfriend would be aware. We literally have each other’s passwords but don’t go through each other’s phones and since we were long distance for a few months he’s aware of a lot of the things with my ex (since he and I go to the same university and do see each other from time to time). 
  
  Question being- Do I just leave it and just wait it off and hope that I can be at the spot where I’m ok leaving it there or is there something I can say or anything? 
  
  TL;DR my ex’s mom who I was really close with reached out for the first time since July and now I don’t have the sense of closure I did before; unsure if I should try to reach out or let it be and let time run its course.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'her place', 'relation': 'would go to', 'condition': 'when my ex was away'}]"
359,P0360,1s8cziy,"I am ‘22M’ with Borderline personality disorder talking to ‘20F’ and we are in kind of a weird situation where we are essentially dating and fully committed but it’s not official as of yet. She is super kind, caring, down to earth and just about everything else I could want in a partner. Not that I asked but from the beginning but she gave me her phone password, never goes on her phone with me, introduced me with her family (strict Mother and father), basically nothing that should be red flags but I am processing some behaviors as “danger.” Like I said she has all of those great traits but something she does really need to work on is communication. She was great at it in the beginning then it kind of fell apart and came back together once I mentioned something. I know this is possibly too much for me to expect but all I’m wanting more engagement from her and updates. She keeps telling me she will say goodnight to me then falls asleep without doing so. It’s more so for me about the thought behind it not bc she fell asleep. If she’s tired she’s tired. With her responses to me she can be very blunt partially bc her first language is Spanish but sometimes it seems as if she doesn’t care like skipping over texts or if I text something or multiple and she falls asleep she doesn’t respond in the morning. With updating as well I don’t expect constant “oh I’m doing this and that” no just a quick voice message or something would be nice but she doesn’t really do that. 
  
  Sorry so much information I just feel like I’m going nuts in my head and I know this is just over the texts bc in person she is completely fine and talkative. 
  
  Another side note is she did let me see some texts from a dude on Instagram and essentially she was texting someone who called her beautiful and eventually asked her for pics in the shower. I will be honest I don’t speak Spanish so I translated but she didn’t send him anything or say anything flirty back except for when he said “I miss you” she said “how much” then mentioned she’s talking to someone after he said “a lot” but I told her that it wasn’t okay and not calling her dumb or anything but this is her first relationship so I don’t think that processed as something that isn’t okay. 
  
  Before when her communication sucked she had created a new insta and deleted the old one just for a fresh start. Well during that time I started checking her followers and following and noticed on the new account more and more dudes were being added each day so I was struggling with the overthinking a lot. Essentially what she said to that was her and her sisters would have a competition and whoever could get the most followers in a week or so the others had to get them food. Which with her personality I genuinely think it was that I don’t do her justice here but she really is pretty innocent but that did add on to my overthinking. I’m also suppressing telling her some things that I overthink or may bother me bc I don’t wanna come off as overbearing or controlling. Please help TL;DR","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'the morning', 'relation': ""doesn't respond in"", 'condition': 'if I text something and she falls asleep'}]"
360,P0361,1s87fts,"So my wife and I are currently separated. In the midst of a divorce however we both have decided we think we would like to make things work. So right now I think we are seperated but seeking reconciliation? Yeah. I guess that sounds about right. Anyways, she just started a new job recently. Probably about a month ago. Things between us are okay. We don't currently live in the same state and havent seen each other in a while but as far as i'm concerned we are both working on ourselves so we can be better partners in the future.
  
  However, back to the new job she got. Since she got a new job we hardly ever communicate and when we do it is entirely on her time. She does not reach out to me during the day. Some days I may get 1 message during the work day and some days I won't get any. I send her a message every morning telling her to have a good day and you know something sweet that hopefully makes her day a little better. I'll do this every morning and there are some days she won't reply to until the evening... 4 pm, 5 pm, 6 pm. i'll send her messages in between to let her know i'm thinking about her or that i hope shes having a good day. just something encouraging because thats something that i would like. Evem then she won't even acknowledge my existence sometimes during the day. I know she has her phone because she tells me about co workers and her bosses messaging her all day. I feel like this is kinds strange. I will say she does call me when she gets off work well she tells me thats the first she does when she does. Is this weird? I dont know. She assures me it isn't so I continue to go along with it. One minor detail as well... when she first got the job she didnt want to tell me where it was she worked. She never even told me she had an interview for a job. She just told me one day she had a job and it was something she had applied for a while ago. She still hasn't told me where she works really. I know she actually has a job.. a good job at that. I just don't get why you wouldn't tell someone that information. Especially your partner?
  
  On top of this, there has been a few nights where we will be talking and and it will start to get late and I just won't hear anything else from her until if i'm lucky, the following morning. With very little of an explanation. She doesn't like telling me what she's doing and considering how little we talk I dont ever really have an opportunity to ask about what she's doing. Am I losing my mind? Is this normal behavior for 2 people who she claims are in a relationship? I don't even know what is happening most of the time. I just try and appreciate the times we do get to talk. She tells me though if she doesn't reply and I dont continue to reach out to her or message her then I dont care about her and just because she's not replying doesn't mean I can't continue to text her?
  
  TLDR: Wife and I are seperated. in the midst of a divorce but also want to try and work it out. She is not present during the day and the only time we talk is on her time. She got a new job and didnt want to tell me where she got a job at? This job has absolutely consumed her life since she was hired and I am starting to hear from her less and less and it just continues to get weirder and weirder...","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'her time', 'relation': 'is entirely on', 'condition': 'when we communicate'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': ""don't care about"", 'condition': ""if I don't continue to reach out even even if she doesn't reply""}]"
361,P0362,1s874nc,"I had a close friend (4 years) and we recently fell out on Valentine’s Day.
  
  For months, I had been feeling like the friendship was one-sided. I would go out of my way for her, but it didn’t feel appreciated, more like it was expected. That week, I started pulling back and focusing more on myself.
  
  On Valentine’s Day, we had plans but she showed up 3 hours late and was vague when I asked where she was. I was already a bit irritated. During the day, she also kept making comments about wishing she had someone to spend Valentine’s with, which bothered me because I was literally there with her.
  
  At lunch, something small turned into a bigger issue. I’ve told her before that I feel like I put effort into taking nice pictures of her, but she doesn’t do the same for me. That day, I didn’t like any of the pictures she took of me and got annoyed. The mood went downhill after that.
  
  Later, I sent her a TikTok that was meant to be funny, but she took it seriously and got really upset. She said the vibe was off the whole day and ended the conversation with “this is it.”
  
  I apologized and explained myself, but she didn’t reply until over 2 weeks later, and just said “okay.” It’s now been a few more weeks and we haven’t spoken since.
  
  At first I missed her, but now I’m more neutral about it.
  
  Should I reach out and try to fix things, or just let the friendship go?
  
  **TL;DR; : Friend and I fell out, I apologized, she replied “okay” weeks later. Should I reach out or move on?**.","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' her lateness', 'relation': 'was vague about', 'condition': 'when I asked where she was'}]"
362,P0363,1s827eo,"I (F26) have known my friend (M 27) since high school years. We’ve been like family to each other. There’s this saying - “ Familiarity breeds contempt”.
  
  I have wanted to avoid that in my relationships. He was incredibly kind and caring towards me when we initially became friends but slowly with time, his moods get incredibly dysregulated when we have to be in the same spaces together. He is polite and kind to everyone and then snappy and unnecessarily snarky with me. Yelled at me in front of people once. All of this is relatively subtle but it is painful to bear at times.
  
  When I confronted him, he looks incredibly ashamed and apologises and says that he doesn’t know why that happens and that it only happens with me. Because he’s stressed from work, home etc and I’m “overwhelming”. It was hurtful. I have always been very receptive to boundaries. If he had told me he needed space, I would have given it. He didn’t ask and then resented me for not doing what he wanted. When I asked him a day later after the yelling to have a sit down conversation about it - I just got a very matter of factly ,”I’m sorry for yelling at you btw- goodnight”. If I tried for further conversation - I was made to feel like I was nagging.
  
  Every other person in his life, he is so perfectly regulated with. I get so sad seeing how well he treats his new friends.
  
  There have been apologies but zero accountability. I feel like I need to soothe his shame for not being able to manage his outbursts. To the rest of the world, he is such an angelic person - which he is when he is nice but I know such a different version of him, I am so confused.
  
  I want to have a conversation to fix this but I fear I will resent him If I keep doing all the emotional labour. I distanced myself after this incident and I get random check ins from him but absolutely no addressal about this issue. He frequently posts social media reels about grief and friendships ending. Romanticizes it a lot. A part of me just wants to let this friendship die because I’ve started dreading facing him. All I can see is an angry face and not my kind friend. I’ve begun to avoid him because I need to protect my own self but at the same time he’s also made no real efforts to fix this and I’m sad about that.
  
  What do I do? Should I try to fix this because he has been ride-or-die otherwise? We are very unfiltered with each other and have been there for ups and downs.
  
  tl;dr : Male friend went from very kind to discharging his frustrations on me and then social media posting about grief and friendships but making no real effort to fix things.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'was incredibly kind and caring', 'condition': 'when we initially became friends'}, {'e1': 'His mood', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets dysregulated', 'condition': 'when we have to be in the same spaces together'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'space', 'relation': 'would have given', 'condition': 'if he had told me he needed space'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'an angelic person', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'when he is nice'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'fear I will resent', 'condition': 'if I keep doing all the emotional labour'}]"
363,P0364,1s7silc,"me( m36) wife (f43)
  
  looking for advice in what to do.
  
  following my mother-in-law's passing last year, ( she passed away in our house) I shut down for a couple months. I didn't know what to do or say, when I would try to comfort my wife it seemed unwanted. her and her mother always had a somewhat rocky relationship, but when the time came for her to move in with us for health reasons we didn't even question it. we knew at some point she would pass, but even the doctors gave her a couple years. but she passed in 9 months. 
  
  I know everyone believes differently, I'm trying to give my wife grace...
  
  with that being said we have had a hard year since. between January and the beginning of this month I felt like we were starting to re kindle or friendship, or relationship, or marriage. 
  
  the last three weeks though I feel as if my presence, my voice, my existence annoys her.
  
  last night I tried talking about how I was feeling she got up and walked away, I followed and kept talking, I know I was pushing her to talk but I couldn't just keep living in my head playing out conversation scenarios. to make a long conversation short, she couldn't answer me when I asked her if she loved me or if we could even work together to mend us, she just kept saying I don't know. I just went to bed after 20 min of silence watching her play on her phone, she came to bed about an hour late. 
  
  TL;DR
  
  In short im at a loss I don't know how to proceed. I love her, she is my best friend, or was idk","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'seemed unwanted', 'condition': 'when I would try to comfort my wife'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': ""didn't question her moving in with"", 'condition': 'when the time came for her to move in for health reasons'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'could not answer', 'condition': 'when I asked her if she loved me'}]"
364,P0365,1s7f8ny,"I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for about two years—we started dating in high school. Since I turned 18, I’ve been living with her, her mom, and her grandmother.
  
  Early in the relationship, she would have frequent meltdowns where she’d take all her anger out on me, even when I hadn’t done anything wrong and was just trying to help. She’d also get really upset over small mistakes I made and would yell at me. Over time, I learned to just stay quiet and keep my distance when it happened because I was afraid of making things worse. Eventually, these episodes went from happening weekly to about once a month.
  
  I kind of gotten used to it, but what still bothers me is that after these meltdowns, she rarely apologizes for the hurtful things she says. A lot of what she says attacks my character or appearance, or she’ll threaten to kick me out over something minor—like saying the wrong thing when trying to comfort her. Because I live with her family, I’m scared to bring it up since she can get defensive and I worry she’ll actually follow through on kicking me out.
  
  I talked to some coworkers about it, and they said they were concerned and that it’s not okay for her to treat me this way. I eventually found the courage to talk to her about it. She told me that during those moments she “blacks out” and says whatever will give her the upper hand in the argument. She mentioned possibly seeing an anger management therapist, but also said she feels like she’s just a “mean person” deep down.
  
  I thought talking to her would make me feel better, but I still feel a lot of resentment. I keep thinking about all the hurtful things she’s said, and I don’t know how to move past it.
  
  At this point, I’m wondering if I should end the relationship—or at least take a break.
  
  TL;DR: My girlfriend regularly yells at me and says hurtful things. I brought it up to her, but I still feel resentful and don’t know if I should stay or leave.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'my distance ', 'relation': 'learned to keep ', 'condition': 'when she yells at me'}]"
365,P0366,1s7e6lj,"I’m 24F and am extremely close with my family. I grew up always close with the and had a very normal childhood and adolescence with typical fights here and there but I’ve never in my life not wanted to be with them. I moved out a few years ago from my parents house but still live in the same town as them and see them often. I know as I’ve gotten older my love for them has grown more and more. And I’ve recognized how immensely lucky I am. My mom and dad are my favorite people and my very best friends. I love them so much sometimes I feel overwhelmed with love and gratitude and I just cry. They never once demanded or forced any of it, they just genuinely loved me for my truest self. They understand me in ways nobody else does and they make me feel appreciated and important. I want them to know how much I appreciate them and how important they are to me. Sometimes I almost feel embarrassed because I don’t think I can express my truest deepest gratitude to them without absolutely losing it and ugly crying.
  
  Sometimes I think it holds me back. I don’t want to be with anyone else but them. I don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship where I felt more interested in spending with that person than with my parents. I know I need to branch out and I definitely do - I have a great social circle. But I know I need to find someone because I’m not sure what i’ll do when I don’t have my parents. It’s a thought I don’t ever allow in my head because it comes with unavoidable premature grief. Even when discussing the future logistically such as our family trust, I cannot last more than a few minutes in the conversation without needing to remove myself.
  
  I guess I’m looking for advice or any similar experiences. I know how lucky I am to have this kind of relationship. They are who I will choose over and over again in every lifetime.
  
  TL;DR
  
  The love I receive and have for my parents is so large and I feel like i’ll never find someone who can ever get close to them.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'myself', 'relation': 'am not sure what I will do', 'condition': 'when I do not have my parents'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'the conversation ', 'relation': 'cannot last more than a few minutes in', 'condition': 'when discussing the future such as our family trust'}]"
366,P0367,1s7djy2,"What is everyone's opinion on a husband who does lots around the house (cooking, cleaning, paying all the bills, etc) but doesn't do what he's promised when it comes to how he talks to me and treats me outside of these types of chores? He really does do a lot, from grocery shopping to doing all the driving to giving me massages.
  
  But I consistently feel unloved, uncared-for, and just generally unhappy with him. There are a few phrases I ask him not to use and he promises to stop using them over and over again, but doesn't. There are tons of things (most of them small) that I've asked him to stop doing and though he promises to stop, he doesn't. He gets defensive instantly if I mention that something he did hurt me. If things start to get tense and I say I don't want to fight anymore, he won't leave me alone, sometimes putting his foot in the doorframe so I can't close a door to escape him. 
  
  How much should I weigh the things he does around the house (he works a full time job and makes enough so I don't have to work) against the way he talks to me?
  
  I'm likely autistic (though never diagnosed), was raised by narcissists and had a pretty shitty childhood because of it, and for the first 12 years (on and off) of our relationship, I drank alcohol and smoked so much weed to make myself feel better and numb out that I will have health issues for the rest of my life because of it. 
  
  I really am torn because, though this might make me sound insane, I think he does care about me in his own way, but he just won't do what he's said he's going to do and the million little things are really starting to add up. We fight every day and I don't like the person I've become, always telling him he hurt me and never smiling.
  
  TL;DR: How important is the stuff a spouse does around the house if I constantly feel unloved?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'does not do what was promised by', 'condition': 'when it comes to how he talks to me and treats me outside chores'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'gets instantly defensive with', 'condition': 'if I mention something he did that hurt me'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': ""won't leave"", 'condition': ""when things get tense and I say I don't want to fight anymore ""}]"
367,P0368,1s7bnqa,"I (31F) have been in an on-and-off relationship with my boyfriend (30M) for about 10 years. We started dating in college and it’s always been somewhat rocky—we’ve struggled to stay on the same page. 
  
  After a few really bad breakups and about 8 months of no contact, we got back together a year ago. He told me things would be different this time.
  
  But honestly, our communication and conflict have been really difficult.
  
  For the past year, he hasn’t had a job, so I’ve been paying for almost everything—dates, groceries, activities, etc. I also usually pick him up and drive us places. I don’t bring this up to make him feel bad, because I know he’s insecure about it, but I have told him I wish he would take more initiative—planning things, suggesting ideas, or even just helping decide what we do.
  
  The problem is he won’t. He says he feels bad suggesting things if I’m paying, but then puts all the decision-making on me, even when I ask him repeatedly to participate.
  
  On top of that, when we do make plans, he often delays them - sleeping in or needing extra time, or saying, “oh well I don’t know if the plans were set in stone,” so it ends up feeling like my time isn’t respected. I’ve started making plans with friends more so I don’t feel stuck waiting around, but now he says I don’t prioritize him and makes me feel guilty for not giving him the first option to hang out.
  
  Where it really breaks down is when we try to talk about any of this. Almost every conversation turns into a fight. He’ll yell, call me disrespectful, and escalate to the point where he’s screaming in my face, spitting on my and blaming me for “making him that upset.” When I try to explain my perspective, he says I’m being defensive. But when he explains his side, if I don’t agree, he’ll say we should just break up.
  
  I feel like I’m constantly trying - apologizing first, suggesting solutions and tricks we can try, even sharing resources about communication styles to help us fight better, but nothing seems to land. When I try to tell him he’s hurt me, he brings up things I’ve done instead, and the conversation goes in circles, to the point where I’m crying and he gets sad that he has to console me. 
  
  At this point, I genuinely feel like he doesn’t like me, even though he says he loves me. I feel like I can’t win. If I give more, it’s not enough, and if I pull back, I’m accused of not caring and my anxiousness kicks in to a full panic.
  
  I know the obvious answer might be to leave, but there are good moments, which is what makes this so confusing. I also am nervous that maybe I really am the problem and I’m not going to find someone else.
  
  I guess my question is:
  
  Is there a way to communicate that I’m trying without it turning into a fight? Or am I missing something here?
  
  TL;DR: Long-term on/off relationship. I financially support us and try to communicate and make things work, but he won’t take initiative, disrespects my time, and our conversations turn into explosive fights where everything gets flipped back on me. I feel like I can’t win and don’t know how to get through to him.","[{'e1': 'He ', 'e2': 'our plans', 'relation': 'often delays', 'condition': 'when we do make plans'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'says I am defensive', 'condition': 'when I try to explain my perspective'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'each other', 'relation': 'will say we should break up with', 'condition': ""when he explains his side and I don't agree ""}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'things I have done instead', 'relation': 'brings up', 'condition': 'when I try to tell him he has hurt me'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'is not enough for', 'condition': 'if I give more'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': ' am accused of not caring for', 'condition': 'if I pull back'}]"
368,P0369,1s7ayav,"So my (19M) girlfriend’s (18F) mom is pretty strict. For example, she doesn’t want me staying at their house past 9pm on weekends and 8pm on weekdays, just to give you an idea.
  
  We’ve been dating for 2 years, and during that time my girlfriend has asked her mom multiple times if I can stay over for the night, but she always says no. We’re pretty sure it’s because she’s worried about her getting pregnant, based on past conversations.
  
  What confuses us is that she still lets us hang out in my girlfriend’s room with the door closed, so we don’t really see what would be different if I stayed the night.
  
  TL;DR
  
  Her mom won’t let us have a sleepover even tho we are both adults and have been dating for 2 years but still lets us have privacy when were at her house. Has anyone else dealt with something similar, or have any advice on how to handle it?
  
  FYI: Her mom heard us have sex and talked about safe sex with my girlfriend, my girlfriend asks once every semester as her birthdsy is in one and the new school grade it in the other. Her mom wont let her stay at my place neither","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'the difference', 'relation': ""don't see "", 'condition': 'if I stayed the night'}]"
369,P0370,1s7an0q,"[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/fyGljIvnXQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/fyGljIvnXQ) here’s the link to my previous post. I posted this back in January I believe and two months have passed since then.
  
  We broke up, today actually. After I posted on Reddit I decided to talk with him one last time with the pretence that it’ll be my last time talking about this, and if nothing changes I’ll be out the door. I gave him time, so much time to connect with me again and it never happened. He still wouldn’t touch me or spend time with me so I gave up. We had a huge talk last night and then this morning came to the conclusion it’s better if we break up. I can’t help but feel guilty, he seemed so okay with our relationship so I know this is hurting him. Anyways I’ll be staying with friends for a bit while searching for places to live. Luckily my now ex is a good person and isn’t rushing me out of the apartment so I have time.
  
  TLDR: Bf and I broke up after I gave him one more chance, and I feel guilty as heck for it.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the door', 'relation': 'will be out of', 'condition': 'if nothing changes'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'is better', 'condition': 'if we break up'}]"
370,P0371,1s75hsu,"I’m a 21/F and my bf is 22/M we’ve been together for 2 years and don’t live together yet.
  
  So here’s the issue. I seem to always have a hard time reaching him. I’ll text him in the morning and he’ll say something random not about his day and then disappear. Or we will be having a conversation and he just disappears for hours and I have no idea where he went or what he’s doing. I’d like to think at least he’d tell me what he’s up to that day so I know why he’s not answering. However it’s often he does not tell me and he takes hours to answer texts and I’m just left wondering. I don’t want to seem controlling but It would be nice if he just told me his agenda?? Idk if that’s too much to ask. Today his excuse was that his phone was dying and he was shopping and needed it to pay. But I feel like a simple text hey phone dying ttyl isn’t too difficult??? Plus he has a charger in his car like hello. It just pisses me off since when we’re together he never seems to have a hard time texting back his friends fairly quickly yet I can never reach him.
  
  Idk I feel like I may be overreacting and acting crazy but it just bothers me for some reason.
  
  TLDR my boyfriend takes forever to answer texts and I’m sick of it.
  
  I’d love some advice thank you.","[{'e1': 'He ', 'e2': 'his friends', 'relation': ' never seems to have a hard time texting back', 'condition': 'when we are together'}]"
371,P0372,1s746v7,"I’m 27M dating a 22F, and we don’t live together—she only comes around occasionally. I really like her. She’s kind, affectionate, and easy to be around when things are calm.
  
  But I’ve been noticing a pattern in how she handles her emotions, and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it or if this is something I should take more seriously.
  
  She tends to have very strong emotional reactions to situations that feel relatively small to me. For example, she can get extremely upset over misunderstandings with family or situations where she feels hurt or not believed. There have also been times where she became very emotional when I couldn’t meet a need in the moment (like when I was too tired to stay up or be physically affectionate).
  
  I understand everyone processes emotions differently, and I want to be supportive, but sometimes the intensity catches me off guard and I don’t always know how to respond.
  
  She’s also quite attached. At first it felt nice, but over time it’s started to feel a bit overwhelming, especially when combined with the emotional highs and lows.
  
  Even though we don’t spend a lot of time physically together, the emotional intensity is still very present in our interactions.
  
  Lately I’ve been feeling:
  
  •A bit drained at times
  
  •Unsure how to respond without making things worse
  
  •Like I need to be very careful with my words/actions
  
  I care about her, but I’m trying to understand where the line is between being supportive and taking on more than I can handle.
  
  •I’d really appreciate advice from people who’ve experienced something similar:
  
  •How do you support a partner with strong emotional reactions?
  
  •How do you set healthy boundaries without hurting them?
  
  •Is this something that usually improves, or is it a sign of deeper incompatibility?
  
  TL;DR:
  
  My girlfriend has very strong emotional reactions and can get overwhelmed easily. I care about her, but I’m starting to feel drained and unsure how to handle it. Looking for advice on supporting her while also maintaining my own boundaries.","[{'e1': 'She ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'is easy to be around', 'condition': 'when things are calm'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'emotion', 'relation': 'became filled with', 'condition': 'when I could not meet a need in the moment'}]"
372,P0373,1s71vbz,"I (29F) have been with my partner (28F) for 4 years, living together for 2. Lately I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and unsupported in our relationship. I work a very demanding job (12–14 hour shifts, mentally nonstop) and only get 2 days off a week. My partner has a less demanding job and usually has 4–5 days off. Even with that, I still handle about 90% of the cooking and cleaning, even after long shifts. She does take care of the animals, but I still help since they’re mine too.
  
  What’s been really hard is that on her days off, she mostly focuses on hobbies or scrolling, and chores get left for me, usually on my first day off after I’ve already been burnt out from work. A lot of the things I’m asked to do have been sitting for days or even weeks while she’s had the time to do them. I also have ADHD and deal with demand avoidance. I try to manage it so it doesn’t control my life, but it makes situations like this harder. When I know I “have” to do something, especially on my first day off, I kind of freeze and can’t focus on anything else. Combined with burnout, it makes it hard for me to even take care of myself, let alone everything else.
  
  We work opposite schedules and don’t have any shared days off, so we barely spend time together. I’ve told her my job is affecting my mental health, but switching jobs right now would impact us financially since we moved into an apartment she really wanted, and I’m the one who can comfortably afford it at my current pay. Emotionally, I don’t feel supported either. She can be very nice and sweet, but I’ve noticed she treats me better in front of other people. When we’re alone, I don’t really know which version of her I’m going to get, sometimes she’s loving and present, and other times she won’t even look up from her phone while I’m talking.
  
  When I try to talk about any of this, she starts crying and it ends up with me comforting her instead, and nothing actually changes. My needs and the solutions I try to bring up never really get addressed. I want to say that we have tried multiple communication styles catered to her needs and none of them work or she always changes how something needs to be said for her to not react a certain way. I have no real foundation on how to communicate with her other than gently. 
  
  At this point I feel burnt out and honestly stuck. I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if this is actually as one-sided as it feels. I’ve even had moments where the stress has made me feel like I don’t want to be here anymore, and that scares me.
  
  TLDR: I work long hours with only 2 days off, do most of the household and emotional labor, and don’t feel supported, while my partner has 4–5 days off and doesn’t contribute much. I’m burnt out and don’t know if I should keep trying or leave","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'anything else', 'relation': 'freeeze and cannot focus on', 'condition': 'when I know I have to do something on my first day off'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': ""don't really know which version I will get of"", 'condition': 'when we are alone'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'starts crying', 'condition': 'when I try to talk about any of this'}]"
373,P0374,1s6zv3h,"Random account because my bf uses reddit a lot. Also i understand this may seem a bit too ‘trivial’ compared to other issues on this subreddit, but i really have no one else to talk to about this. 
  
  Me and my bf have been together for 4 years, with hardly any on and off inbetween. we are both in our final year of highschool but we aren’t in the USA. long story short, i have to temporarily move to another country to finish my final year since my school doesn’t offer a required course for a uni ive been admitted into.
  
  My bf was extremely upset about me leaving and so was I since it was so sudden. The school i’m in i already have settled in, since i have cousins here and i know their friends. i’ve been here for around 3 months. Me and my bf are trying to be staying in contact every day but there is a 2 hour time differences and we are both extremely busy. 
  
  However, i feel like we are both trying to put a lot of effort in like messages, photos throughout the day, vms, ect. but still we are both very physical touch people its just hard being apart. And he’s sent me several paragraphs about how he’s unsure about this but ive continued reassuring him that this will work because we both really do want it to work.
  
  Again, to make a long story short, i’ve been getting word from my friends back home that he’s being overly friendly with this other girl in my year. she is more like a friend of a friend to me, but i do know her. of course being in this relationship for what seems long term to me. we’ve been through a lot of trials and tribulations, but this specific girl has always been an issue during our relationship.
  This has come from many of my close friends who have no reason to lie to me and honestly im even angry just disgusted. he has said so many times this girl isn’t her type (we look absolutely opposite mind you: im tall and black, she’s short and white)
  
  Either way this news on top of him slowly stopping putting in the effort just pissed me off. I have been getting closer to one of my cousins friends (18M) he is extremely funny like that’s the first thing that i can think to describe him. very chalant. and i know it was wrong but i found myself initiating more conversations with him and just deciding to spend time with him compared to other people. if i had a notification between him, and my bf, i wouldn’t hesitate to choose him. 
  
  I feel so guilty about it and i firmly believe that two wrongs do not make a right but genuinely im just so drained with this relationship with him. I’ve brought up this other girl to him and he just sends usual mature crap which has been pissing me off because i know he’s lying but i can’t prove it. that’s why i indulge in this thing with the new guy, but i know that if my bf was ever to find out and break up with me i would be absolutely shattered. 
  
  But then again, the fact im going back to my home country either way by the end of this year, so i don’t really see the point of breaking up if when i get back things are likely to just go back to normal. But I don’t know if i can live with this disgust and guilt for an entire year
  
  And either way, breaking up with him is extremely complicated because our older sisters are best friends, parents extremely close, all of that nonsense. So im really not sure what to do in this situation. Sorry this was so long this is clearly my first time writing one of these things.
  
  Please help me understand what to do in this situation. I really am trying to be mature about this but i fear the pettiness inside me is overpowering.
  
  **TL;DR:** i (F, final-year student) moved to another country for school, putting a strain on my 4 year relationship with my boyfriend. we’re trying long distance, but it’s been hard especially since i’ve heard from friends that he’s getting close to a girl who’s been an issue before, and he seems to be putting in less effort. at the same time, i’ve started getting close to another guy here and feel guilty about it. i still love my boyfriend and would be devastated if we broke up, but i’m also drained and unsure if i can handle feeling like this for the rest of the year. especially with our families being close and things likely going “back to normal” when i return.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': ""wouldn't hesitate to choose"", 'condition': 'if i had a notification between him and my bf'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'would be absolutely shattered', 'condition': 'if my bf was to ever break up with me'}]"
374,P0375,1s6ulpr,"So I M22 broke up with this girl 22F 2 years ago, we were in a relationship for 2.5 years but on those last 5 months things were not right.
  
  We broke up because i didn’t feel like a boyfriend to her since we only went out to public places and didn’t have a lot of close interactions in private, it felt like we were friends. After that, we stopped talking and interacting at all.
  
  So right at the beginning of this year she sent me a message telling me she didn’t want to have any kind of “enemies” and if i would be alright with the idea of being friends again, and so it happened since after our breakup i was always thinking that she hated me because of it, and i was really happy that we talked again.
  
  We went out to talk about the things that happened in those 2 years apart and it felt so heartwarming, it was really fun and felt like home, we talked about our relationship too and how immature we were about it but sadly we broke up and it wouldn’t work out, but its ok cuz “it is what it is”.
  
  Now (3 months later) we haven’t shared a single word and that’s alright, but one thing i couldn’t tell her is that after our breakup i couldn’t stop thinking about her.
  
  Every girl i got close to, every flirt, anything. She was always in my mind so i couldn’t stop thinking about it, I cant even imagine starting a relationship any sooner after that.
  
  A thing that doesn’t help is that we live really close to each other, and every place we went while we were together reminds me of us.
  
  Lately i’ve been thinking about telling her this, but not with the intention of getting back together, only to get it out of my chest, because when i see her i feel like I am suffocating even tho she is alright and we don’t have to prove nothing to each other.
  
  I really dont know if i keep it to myself and keep thinking of her, or if i tell her this and hope for some kind of relief… because i feel like it is a little egotistical to tell her all of this and go on with my life.
  
  Sorry for any grammar mistake, hope you can understand my point, any advice?
  
  TL;DR! 
  
  Im dont know if i should tell my ex about what im feeling or if i should keep it to myself because i dont wanna be egotistical but i still want to get over this feeling","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'suffocation', 'relation': 'have the feeling of', 'condition': 'when I see her'}]"
375,P0376,1s6t1nf,"Hey folks.
  
  I wanted an advice on how to move forward. Me and my girlfriend of one year moved in together a couple weeks ago. We had been basically living with each other for a while now, so we decided that it would make more sense if we got a place together (rented, of course).
  
  To give some context: I recently graduated from Med School and now I am working as a physician in a town 40ish minutes over (still haven't decided on a residency). She is still in med school (2 years to go). 
  
  Everything has been going great (a couple of fights over some mess, preferences on the house and such, but nothing major). However, I've been having some hard time with some ""alone"" time. 
  
  You see, I have some friends that I consider some of my best friends that live in other cities (quite far). We used to stay in touch by gathering on Discord and playing some games together. I say ""used to"" because the last 2 years of med school were hell, so I didn't have much time to stay online with them (and my old GPU became toast). However, now that I graduated and started making a bit more money, I decided to buy a low-end gaming PC so I could go back to have some time with my friends. My GF also is a bit nerdy, loves reading manga/watching anime, so I never thought gaming with my friends for a few hours would be an issue.
  
  However, I was proven wrong quite fast. You see, two days ago, both me and my GF had some time off, so we decided to spend the day together, going out, buying some stuff we needed for the apartment. While we were out, I got the news that my PC arrived. We got home, we had some dinner and watched something together on the TV, then I decided to install my PC. I made everything look perfect, tested it and it was ready to go. My GF seemed excited for me, but since it was already late (and she had to see some patients in the morning), she decided to go to bed. She said it was okay for me to stay up to play a bit, but said that ""she didn't want this to become a habit"". 
  
  That made me confused. I mean, sure, I wouldn't be doing this everyday, since we have to work most time of the week, but I asked that, if we are in a situation like this again (meaning: she has to wake up early and I don't), would she be upset if I stayed up to play a bit more? The answer was ""yes"". And that made me even more confused. That is because this scenario doesn't happen often. It is not common for her to have to go to the hospital on weekends (maybe one weekend every month, maybe none). 
  
  So I told her that I wasn't going to stay up late when we both had to work in the morning (since we both had to wake up early) or we both didn't have to work in the morning (since we both love to sleep in), but asked her if the same situation happening on this weekend were to occur, would she be upset if I stayed up late, she said that she was going to be upset, because she felt that a couple going to bed on different times was ""weird"", so she didn't want that to happen to us, but she understood that I was excited today, so she didn't mind today.
  
  I was a bit confused by the situation (and what was so weird about this), but we both decided to resume this conversation some other time. After playing a bit with my friends, I decided to go to bed around 1AM, and she woke up when I got to bed. I went to sleep quite fast, and, when I woke up, I noticed that she was pissed. After asking her, she told me that, after I got to bed, she couldn't sleep anymore, and it took her 3 hours to sleep again.
  
  After she got home from college, we talked about this situation. She said that she woke up when I got to bed last night, and was really angry at me for suggesting that I do this again on other days. She said that I should understand that it was something that she didn't like. I tried to explain that, since both me and my friends have busy lifes, sometimes the weekends are the only times we can arrange to play something, and since I didn't have to wake up early in the morning, I didn't see an issue with it. She reiterated that she thought it was weird that we would be going to bed on different times, and now also said that everytime I did this, I would disrupt her sleep and ruin her day in college because she would be too tired. 
  
  Our conversation didn't get us anywhere. She was not budging, I was not budging, and she has been pissed ever since. I tried playing a bit with my friends yesterday, but I haven't felt comfortable at all doing so. I noticed that, a short time after I decided to play, she went to bed really early (she normally go to sleep around 11:30PM, but it was 9:30 and she was already in bed). This made me even more uncomfortable with the situation, and now I don't feel comfortable playing with my friends in my own house. 
  
  And to make things clear: my plan isn't to start playing at 6PM and go on until 1AM. I would still have my time with her, make some dinner, watch some movies, and only then start playing something.
  
  I feel like I can't have some time for myself without feeling guilty about it. What should I do?
  
  TL;DR: GF doesn't like the idea of going to bed at different times in a specific scenario (when she has to wake up early next day and I don't). I wanted to have some ""alone"" time playing some games with my friends in these situations and she absolutely hates the idea. Now I'm uncomfortable playing at all. What should I do?","[{'e1': 'it ', 'e2': ' sense', 'relation': 'would make more', 'condition': 'if we got a place together'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'was going to be upset with', 'condition': 'if I stayed up late'}]"
376,P0377,1s6szmf,"tl;dr: me and my boyfriend are awkward with eachother sometimes and don't know how to fix it, new relationship between us
  
  so this is both our first serious relationship, we'r been together for only 2 months so this might get better but maybe some advice on how to make awkwardness go away quicker could help
  
  he goes to another school than me so we don't see each other really often but we have hungout a few times and call a looot. thing is, whenever we hang out, it's just extremely awkward to take pictures or like.. not just be chill and talk, but to mess around a bit and act silly. we probably both would like that as we also mess around with our own personal friends but we don't ever do it when we're hanging out together. Id also like to capture memories with selfies, and he surely wouldn't mind but it's just so awkward to do, especially pictures including face. we don't mind not kissing, it's not really our thing, we've discussed we're both to awkward for that😭 so we do both acknowledge it but can't really find a solution. I'm usually quite energetic and blurt out random made up words with my friends, but i feel more reserved with my boyfriend. I do love him really, and I'm comfortable telling him about my interests and harder times in life, we even sip from eachothers drinks and don't mind taking a bite of eachothers food like ice cream or whatever but i'm not sure on how to approach this. our hangouts are usually just walking around city and forest (which is fun lol), if that matters. Advice is welcome","[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': ' pictures', 'relation': 'is extremely awkward to take', 'condition': 'whenever we hang out'}]"
377,P0378,1s6qkgj,"I’m honestly really confused about what to do right now and I feel like I’m stuck between two choices.
  
  There’s this guy I’m really close with. We’ve known each other for a long time, and at one point he really showed me how much he cared. For example, when he was back home, he made me a card and even got people I knew to write messages in it. It meant a lot to me and made me feel like I mattered to him in a real way.
  
  Recently though, things have been very different. He’s been distant, sometimes cold, and at times even a bit harsh. There were moments where he told me to leave him alone, and it felt like he needed space. At the same time, he still does small things like grabbing me food or interacting casually, which confuses me even more.
  
  Part of this is also my fault. I hurt him in a situation involving his ex. I crossed a line, and I know he expected more from me. He told me he’s still trying to forgive me, which I appreciate, but at the same time he still talks to her and seems okay with her, which honestly makes me feel confused and a bit hurt.
  
  We live in the same dorm, so I see him around a lot. Sometimes we can act normal in a group setting, laugh, and talk like nothing is wrong. Other times, I feel completely left out, especially when he’s with our mutual friends and I’m not included.
  
  He also told me he’s “still thinking,” which makes me feel like there’s still something there, but I don’t know what that actually means.
  
  The hardest part is that I still want to stay connected to him, but I also feel like trying too hard just pushes him away more. I don’t know if I should: give him full space and stop reaching out or keep things light and stay somewhat present in his life or reach out hardcore 
  
  In the past, when we had problems he needed time and I would keep chasing till we fix them 
  
  I feel like if I do nothing, I might lose him, but if I try, I might make things worse.
  
  Has anyone been in a situation like this? What actually works here?
  
  TL;DR: I hurt a close friend in a situation involving his ex, and now he’s distant and says he’s “still thinking” and trying to forgive me. We still have some normal interactions (he’ll do small things like grab me food), but overall he keeps his distance and still talks to his ex. I don’t know if I should give him full space or stay lightly in his life without pushing him away further.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'a card', 'relation': 'made me ', 'condition': 'when he was back home'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'might lose', 'condition': 'if i do nothing'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'things ', 'relation': 'feel like I might make worse', 'condition': 'if i try'}]"
378,P0379,1s6puhr,"I’m 20F and I’ve been seeing my boyfriend (26M) for almost 3 months. I really like him, which is why this is starting to get to me.
  
  At the beginning, before we were actually together, he was way more present. He texted more, seemed more interested, more engaged. I know that’s normal to some extent (like people trying to impress in the beginning), so I didn’t expect it to stay exactly the same. But now it feels like the drop is kind of big.
  
  When we’re together in person, everything is genuinely good. He’s sweet, funny, affectionate, and very present he’s not on his phone, he gives me his full attention. He shows physical affection and it doesn’t always lead to anything sexual. He’s also made effort for me before, like coming to see me even when he’s tired, choosing to see me over his friends sometimes, or even leaving time with his family to come see me. So I know he *can* make effort when he wants to.
  
  The issue is more outside of that.
  
  I feel like I don’t really exist in his daily life unless I make myself exist:
  
  * I’m usually the one initiating plans
  * He says he’ll plan things but often doesn’t follow through
  * He doesn’t really tell me about his day unless I ask
  * He can disappear for hours without saying anything
  * I don’t really know what’s going on in his life unless I ask
  
  But one thing really bothers me: he’s way more present when it’s flirty/sexual than when it’s just normal talking or actually spending time together. It makes me feel like the effort isn’t the same.
  
  I told him all of this in a long message (calmly). He said he knows he hasn’t been “up to the level,” that it’s “not easy for him,” but that he’ll try to do better.
  
  Then literally right after that, I asked if he wanted to go for a drink. He said “I’ll let you know tonight” and then never followed up at all.
  
  Also, he’s about to go on a holiday with his friends for a whole month, so we’re not even going to see each other. And that’s part of why I’m confused, because I feel like if you actually like someone, you’d want to spend time with them before leaving for that long but he’s not really doing that
  
  So now I don’t know what to think maybe this is just his personality (not very communicative, more in the moment) or I’m just not that much of a priority to him
  
  I don’t feel like I’m asking for anything crazy, just basic consistency and effort.
  
  **TL;DR:** I’m dating a guy who is great in person and does make effort sometimes, but is inconsistent with communication and planning. He says he’ll try to do better, but his actions don’t always match. I can’t tell if this is just his personality or if I’m more invested than he is.","[{'e1': 'Everything', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': 'is genuinely good between', 'condition': 'when we are together in person'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'is way more present', 'condition': 'when it is flirty/sexual '}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': ' them', 'relation': 'would want to spend time with', 'condition': 'if you actually like someone'}]"
379,P0380,1s6oifl,"I wanted to ask tips on how to be okay with your boyfriend hanging out with a group of people you don't like (I have my reasons to). I (20F) and my bf (20M) have been dating for 2 years now. There is this particular group that I've had some beef with and they're not my bf's primary friend group so I always hoped they'd just drift apart after sometime but they still meet occassionaly and almost 98% of the time they meet they just get wasted, which just makes me even more uncomfortable. Bf says it is his personal decision to hang out with people he likes and considering that I hate them only because of some stupid beef with them in the past, he doesnt have a valid reason to stop talking to them just because it makes me uncomfortable. And I get that, I do not want to be a controlling gf at all.
  
  I see a future with my bf and I'm pretty sure these people are also still going to be around then. How do I learn to be okay with this, or atleast not let it affect me so much?
  
  TL;DR: I don't like my bf's friend group and I need to know how to deal with him hanging out with them.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': 'hate', 'condition': 'only because of some stupid beef with them in the past'}]"
380,P0381,1s6n2te,"Tl/Dr My partner and I have been dating for about a year. We have a son that is 4 months old and I have a daughter from a previous relationship that is 5 years old. I know we rushed into doing a lot of things since we both have been dating for so little but when we found out I was pregnant we decided to make things work out and trying to get the best outcome possible. Anyways so he is a really good man: he is provider, a good dad to both kids and is loving towards me in the aspect that he tells me pretty stuff all the time and makes sure nothing lacks at home. I try my best to be a good woman for him, I take care of the house, the kids, cooking and giving some money to our house so we don’t rely solely on his money. So far everything although with ups and downs is beautiful.
  
  My request here I guess would be for an advise as although a lot of things are good and I feel grateful for him and ofc I love him but he doesn’t like to spend time with me. So he has a PC and he comes home from work around 7 pm, he plays with my daughter for about an hour until she goes to bed at 8 pm and then he goes directly to his gaming room. The moment he puts a foot into the house I get excited and try to talk to him but he seems maybe annoyed(?) talking to me, I don’t know, it just seems that way. I tried telling him that I need more time with him and his way of “bonding” is watching TV and falling asleep not even an hour into an episode of whatever show.
  
  To be honest I’ve told him and talked to him about this and he seems to understand but it never changes it just goes away for a couple days and the he goes back to it. I’ve told him let’s do something on the weekends with the kids but he says there nothing to do so that’s why he plays all day. At night I have to basically ask for intimacy because he barely looks for it. Whenever I try to give him his space and not asking for intimacy he gets offended and says that I should make more efforts. I am a little frustrated because I swear I try my best to please him in every area as since the moment we started dating he always said he has high expectations and I HAVE to reach them so I try. Of course I am not perfect and I lack a lot and he is patient with me but I don’t know what to do to make him more interested in spending time with me. I am hurt and confused but I don’t want to point fingers and saying “oh your the bad guy” I want to make this relationship better and idk maybe feel more connected to him.
  
  Thank you for the advices!","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'things ', 'relation': 'decided to make work', 'condition': 'when we found out I was pregnant'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets offended', 'condition': 'whenever I try to give him his space and not ask for intimacy'}]"
381,P0382,1s6i4py,"Back at home I met this guy during a pre-departure seminar before I was about to head abroad to uni. We’ve been texting frequently since then for around half a year. When we both moved overseas we would almost hang out everyday, he would always ask me to be with him for the smallest endeavours, we would go grocery shopping, buy clothes, grab food, even cook meals for each other sometimes. this went on consistently for around 3 weeks and just as i thought he was truly a close friend, he suddenly became super distant, and i have no idea why. 
  
  nothing has ever happened between us, but i do have to admit some feelings were starting to grow on my end, he made me feel special and i thought we had a close connection, but at the same time im still having trouble figuring out these emotions. i’m worried this is just me misreading the whole situation. even so, hanging out with someone almost everyday, having deep meaningful conversations just made me feel like i was important to him, and now that he has disappeared in silence it really hurts.
  
  he would no longer text, wouldn’t walk to class tgt with me, he wouldn’t even greet me or sit with me anymore. i have no idea what happened, i don’t recall doing anything that may have upset him. we have never crossed boundaries as friends, there was no flirting or anything, just a bit of teasing but that’s as far as it went, so im not sure why he would suddenly feel the need to distance himself from me.
  
  i’m just really upset because i’m going to be honest, moving abroad alone was really difficult for me, and i considered him to be my closest friend and i thought it was the same for him too. he has turned me down several times when i asked him to hang out and ive stopped reaching out too because i realised im making a fool out of myself. what am i supposed to do?
  
  TL;DR: my guy friend who im having mixed feelings for suddenly went radio silent on me and i don’t know why.","[{'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'everyday', 'relation': 'would almost hangout', 'condition': 'when we both moved overseas'}]"
382,P0383,1s6g6zx,"l
  
  pretext me and gf are in our 30s with a 7yo son. 
  
  we have had a pretty rocky 8 years together, first it was wonderful, honeymoon phase, and then after my son was born I got into a negative head space where I essentially didn't listen to any of her concerns regarding intimacy and loneliness. this resulted in me finding out she was flirting and sending pics over discord to people who would give her attention and she found guys willing to send her money for bucks and food over the past 6 months. she would also joins calls to speak with them. She also revealed the name of our son to one of the guys she spoke with. after I found out, I was prepared to separate, but she begged me to stay, saying she didnt want to suffer any embarrassment in front of her family, and that if I left it would negatively effect our son. after a lot of talking, we agreed we would try to work things out. 
  
  but im struggling with the fact every time I text her im comparing myself to the guys she chatted with over discord. I fell like nothing I can say will feel special now. she was daily telling them she loved them and missed them, engaging in spicy talk, and texting them from early morning to the early hours of morning. she told me it was all fake, but im still struggling to believe her. 
  
  then theres the matter of intimacy. ever since we agreed to work on things ive done a 180. im essentially love bombing her, and I know it stems from my insecurity and guilt for neglecting her for so long, but I cant help it. she says it feels fake and forced, and she doesn't reciprocate the affection. that's really messing me up, and im scared it might be too late, since she will say ""where was all this the last 8 years"" and I agree I was in the wrong, but indo genuinely love her and our family and am trying to make it right. 
  
  I guess maybe I should take some time to sort out my emotions and let myself heal, but im unsure if ill be able to given the current situation. 
  
  tl;dr : I was a dick and neglected my gf for 8 years and my she cheated on me thru discord for attention and fortnite vbucks duringnthe last 6 months. we are trying to patch things up now, but nothing feels ""sacred"" or special anymore in regards to communication and intimacy.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a negative headspace', 'relation': 'got into', 'condition': ""after my son's birth""}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'our son', 'relation': 'would negatively affect', 'condition': 'if I left'}, {'e1': 'We ', 'e2': 'things ', 'relation': 'agreed we would try to work out', 'condition': 'after a lot of talking'}]"
383,P0384,1s6axcp,"I’m an 18M, first-year engineering student. This is my first relationship ever, and I don’t know how to handle it anymore.
  
  I met this girl (18F) at a college fest. She approached me first, and I already had a bit of a crush on her. At that time, I was casually going on dates with a few girls, but things got serious with her over time.
  
  As we got closer, she opened up about her family. Her home environment is very unhealthy and stressful, and I genuinely felt bad for her and tried to support her.
  
  But over time, I started noticing that she reflects some of that behavior.
  
  She:
  
  * Picks fights over very small things and turns them into huge arguments
  * Disrespects me, even in front of my friends
  * Makes fun of me publicly
  * Shares our private conversations with her “bhai jaisa” best friend
  * Calls me emotionally weak and unintelligent
  
  I tried to tolerate it at first, thinking she’s been through a lot.
  
  At one point, she ignored me for hours just because I had to leave early to go home. I got really triggered and reacted badly—I said things I regret, which I fully admit was my mistake.
  
  After that:
  
  * She shared our private chats with her friends
  * Involved her “bhai jaisa” friend in our issues
  * Took his side during conflicts
  
  That really affected me.
  
  Since then, this has become a pattern:
  
  * She constantly compares me to a guy from her past situationship
  * Says things like “he would never say this to me”
  * Shares personal stuff with others for validation
  * Has thrown away my gifts during fights
  * Tries to end things but then comes back again
  
  Whenever I try to end the relationship, she accuses me of using her, even though everything between us was consensual.
  
  One time she compared her family to mine in a very insulting way, and I almost cried. That really hurt.
  
  The worst part is what this is doing to me:
  
  * I’ve started getting triggered very easily
  * I’ve shouted at my parents over small things, which I’ve NEVER done before
  * I feel like I’m becoming a different person, and I hate it
  
  I know this relationship isn’t healthy, but every time I try to leave, it turns into drama, accusations, or 
  emotional pressure, and I get pulled back in. 
  i do wanna end this, but in back of my mind i am scared what is she harm herself, what is she accuses me of a FORCEFUL INTIMACY, we both are in the same college and have a lot of mutual friend, i have tried changing myself and her but i can never be enough, i don't know how to end this i have tried ending it before and she showed me her true colors, but it's getting too toxic for me to handle it.
  
  **How do I end this cleanly and move on without things escalating further?**
  
  **TL;DR:** 
  I’m (18M) in my first relationship with (18F). She constantly disrespects me, shares private matters with others, and starts fights. I’ve also reacted badly once, but now it’s a repeating cycle. It’s affecting my behavior and mental state, and I want to end it without more drama. How do I do that?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': ' her friends', 'relation': 'shared our private chats with', 'condition': 'after I reacted badly'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' our issues', 'relation': 'involved her best friend in', 'condition': 'after I reacted badly'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'conflicts', 'relation': 'took his side during', 'condition': 'after I reacted badly'}]"
384,P0385,1s6a854,"I'll to keep this short and to the point. Been with my gf for a year and a half. We get along very well, and love spending time together. However, found out over time that she has some avoidant tendencies, and the more emotional (and physical) needs I had and expressed, the more she pulled away. I did a ton of work on myself to learn how to not solely rely on her for all of my needs, and how to regulate my emotions so she doesn't feel attacked when I am expressing a need/feelings. (Specifically, physical affection, emotional intimacy, and sex have been the big ones).
  
  It took me some time to learn how to communicate well (without being emotionally dysregulated). I used to feel like I was begging for affection, and I think it pushed her away. Too much pressure. As a result, we haven't had sex in over 7 months. She says its not that she doesn't want to, she's just always tired, too busy, too much going on, or she forgets (I suspect she stays busy as a form of emotional avoidance). She also hasn't kissed me beyond a peck in over 9 months (despite her saying she likes it when I kiss her neck, show affection, etc.). The more I asked for things, the more she pulled away. Or sometimes she just outright forgot about my requests.
  
  In the past three months, we have made a lot of progress. She has slowly started opening up, wanting to talk about her hangups with sex/intimacy (past trauma, and she has some gender stuff that she is questioning that makes sex scary). She also was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago (unmedicated). So I see that there's a lot going on here, and I want to be a safe place for her. I can understand her reactions/tendency for avoidance and forgetfulness given all of these things. We are both in individual therapy, and she suggested couples counseling. She also started expressing interest in sex again (after I reassured her that her trauma/questions about her identity don't change my desire or how I think of her. And that she is still worthy of love). Once I was able to honestly and calmly communicate that I don't expect perfection, I just want authenticity, and that I want to be a safe place for her, she started opening up a lot.
  
  However, physical touch is my primary love language. And I've been starving for almost a year, and have built up quite a lot of resentment. I almost don't remember what it felt like to be in a romantic relationship with her. The most we do is hold hands, and a peck on the lips when we say hi/bye. And because she has so much emotional baggage, I feel like there is no room for mine (I also have sexual trauma/hangups that I would love to work through with her, but she definitely does not have the bandwidth for that). I've done a lot of therapy and medication (SSRI and ADHD medication) to help regulate my emotions, and get needs met elsewhere (in a healthy way). It has helped me immensely in showing up better to the relationship. However, when I continue to express an emotion about our lack of emotional or physical intimacy, she still gets defensive/self-pity, and I end up comforting her.
  
  I recognize that there's conflict in me. I like to think of myself as emotionally intelligent- I know I deserve an equal partner. Someone who can also hold me and meet my needs, and where I can meet theirs. And I think with resentment, there's a point of no return. But I have no idea when that is. Especially when I see growth and changes happening. However, sometimes changes come too late.
  
  Given this information, how do you know when its the right time to respectfully call it quits? How do you know if something is worth pushing through or not? I'm internally not sure, but are there signs?
  
  tl;dr: My emotional dysregulation while communicating needs for intimacy pushed away partner, resulting in a lack of physical/emotional intimacy. I learned and got WAY better at showing up the way I should, and continued to communicate (but in a healthy way). Still was not met, and built resentment. She is feeling more safe due to my changes, and is starting to disclose her challenges and interest, but my needs are still am not met AND feel like there is no room for my emotions about it. Looking for thoughts and others experiences, or signs that it was worth the work. Or are there signs/things to look out for that tell that the relationship is too far gone?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'sex ', 'relation': 'started expressing interest again in', 'condition': 'after I reassured her that her trauma/questions about her identity do not change my desire'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'started opening up to', 'condition': ""once I was able to honestly and calmly communicate that I don't expect perfection""}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': ' still gets defensive/self-pity', 'condition': 'when I continue to express an emotion about our lack of emotional or physical intimacy'}]"
385,P0386,1s69v1d,"I (27F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 8 years, living together 3.5. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m the only one putting effort into our relationship like planning dates, keeping intimacy alive, and thinking about the future.
  
  For example, I suggested sushi yesterday. We picked it up, got edibles, and listened to music. It was fun, but I planned it, so it felt more like a hangout than a date. Today I asked if he had planned anything since we both had a free day, and he said no and that he didn’t want to spend money, even though I’ve told him dates don’t have to be expensive. When I bring it up, I feel like I’m just complaining.
  
  We also haven’t had sex in about 3 months, which has been a recurring pattern for years. I’ve suggested premarital counseling and he agrees but won’t take initiative to set it up.
  
  Another difference is travel. I want to travel more before kids, but he’s not a big traveler and doesn’t seem interested in planning trips.
  
  We’ve been together for a long time and it’s obvious that my views on this have changed over the years. How would you navigate this situation? 
  
  TL;DR:
  
  I (26F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 8 years, living together 3.5. I feel like I’m the only one putting effort into dates, intimacy (haven’t had sex in 3 months), and future plans like travel. He agrees to counseling but won’t take initiative. I’m looking for advice on how to manage this or encourage more shared effort without taking on everything myself.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'complaints', 'relation': 'feel like I am giving', 'condition': 'when I bring the issue of dates up'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'want to travel more', 'condition': 'before kids'}]"
386,P0387,1s67uk6,"hi! so basically my boyfriend (m23) and i (f19) have known each other for around 6 months now and started becoming more serious around 2-3 months ago in january. 
  
  he has been pining after me for the past 6 months and i was the one who was usually pulling and pushing because i didnt know how to deal with my feelings for him. for some more context, i come from a religious Christian family and he comes from a religious muslim family. my family would never let me marry him, although his would let him marry me. 
  
  the whole pull and push with him all these months was that i knew i wanted him i just didnt know how i would be able to be with him knowing we cant have a future together. when we started getting more serious back in january that was because i realized i have such strong feelings for him that i needed him even if it doesnt get to be forever. i am content with my decision in being with him. i have no regrets. and we love each other and he makes me so happy. 
  
  we also recently started officially dating (after basically dating for months we just hadnt put an offical label on it but we were together exclusively). 
  
  anyways my whole point of this post is that basically he has mentioned over the months certain mental health struggles. he essentially falls into quite a depression every now and then and i dont fully know how to help him and support him and be there for him while also feeling fulfilled in our relationship.
  
  when he gets into these depressive phases, he tends to go MIA, or if he is talking to me its just not the same. hes usually a very energetic and loving person but when he gets like this its so different. he barely tells me he loves me anymore, he barely tries to talk to me. it seems like even when he does text me back its more of just replying to me rather than actually wanting to talk to me. then again, i know its not an issue with our relationship specifically. he also stops talking to his friends, brothers, family, and barely leaves his place anymore. he said his friends think he has ""disappeared"" since he has barely been talking to them or seeing them lately.
  
  and i know he truly has been going through so much specifically with school, but he told me he doesn't want to talk to me or anyone else about it; which i can understand as ive always been a very understanding and empathetic person.
  
  i have always been good at dealing with peoples mental health issues but im scared that with my boyfriend its causing a toll on our relationship. i genuinely love him so much and i want to be there for him all i can and support him and give him time and space, but i also dont feel as fulfilled as i usually do. i need more reminders from him that he does still love me and that we are genuinely okay. i just dont know how to deal with this whole situation.
  
  please give me honest advice. what can i do to be there to support him while also staying relaxed in knowing that he still loves me and our relationship is not being affected. how can i handle this situation in the best interest of both of us?
  
  TL;DR: how can i support my boyfriend during his depressive state while also feeling fulfilled in the relationship when he isnt necessarily fulfilling me?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'MIA', 'relation': 'tends to go', 'condition': 'when he gets into these depressive states'}, {'e1': 'His talking', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'is not the same to', 'condition': 'when he gets into these depressive states'}]"
387,P0388,1s67ari,"This has been a lifelong problem for me (35F). My father (61M) has always favoured and spoiled my brother (33M). I'm at a point where I want to confront my father about it (knowing full well that the answers I get probably won't help me feel better, but at least it will be off my chest).
  
  My question here - has anyone had a similar experience and can relate/give some advice? My husband is adamant I should not talk to him about any of this and that it will make it worse. But in my heart, I don't see how it can be any worse.
  
  \-The thing that made me decide I need help/therapy/to talk to him about this. Last summer at the local fair, our entire family was there. My dad bought an expensive 4h pig and you get your picture in the local paper. We all went to the 4H barn and when it was time to take the picture, my father asked EVERYONE but me and my husband to come up for the photo. EVERYONE. My SIL, brother, their kids, his new GF who he had been seeing for 4 months lol. I took off while the photo was being taken, burst into tears while my husband consoled me and we left.
  
  \-When I was young, my fathers girlfriend (who was closer in age to me than to him) hated me for no reason. She would shit talk me to him constantly, within earshot. She would buy her son and my brother expensive gifts and give me very little. The biggest example of this that my father was 100% in on was one year the entire family got four wheelers. My Dad, His GF, My Brother and my Step Brother all got BRAND NEW four wheelers. I got the GFs old four wheeler but hey I was still happy to have one! I went to my Dad's a month later to use it AND THEY HAD SOLD IT. Sold it and didn't even give me the money from it. It was just gone.
  
  \-My father owns a small but successful paving business. My brother has worked there since he left high school. He gets brand new cell phones every year, phone plans, brand new vehicles, gas paid, paid vacations, extensive raises every year. Anything he wants, he gets. I worked for the family business for 8 years and made a pittance (seriously - the new girl they hired makes $13per hour more than I did). He wouldn't believe me that I was being underpaid but kept giving my brother raises because ""my job was replaceable, but the business relies on my brother"". My brother, who is an asshole (shocker), pushed me out of the company a year ago. He threatened that it was him or me. He loves to threaten my Dad that he's going to walk out, so this wasn't that shocking.
  
  \-The entire business is being left to my brother. 100% of it. It's worth millions.
  
  \-My brother has multiple properties that have been bought for him and put in his name. My father claims they're for the grandkids but there's zero chance my brother won't sell and keep the profits but hey, that's not my business.
  
  \-I fixed up a cottage he owns so we could use it during Covid (it was sitting unused for years). I've poured thousands into it, including a new roof, and pay all costs. Years ago he said he would put it in my name. It's been 6 years. We discussed it a few years ago and I brought up how hurtful it was that my brother has multiple properties in his name and he won't even put the cottage in mine. He just didn't answer much and said ""I have a mental block about doing it and I don't know why"". He's also given people permission to use our shoreline at the cottage for swimming. I couldn't believe it, we had people walking through all summer while we were at the cottage with friends, leaving cigarette butts all over the shore. BUT it's not in my name and I realize I'm lucky to have use of a cottage at all but I just want to reiterate the point that my brother has $500,000 of property in his name and this run down cottage that is probably worth $80k after all the money I've put into it, he won't even let me USE it exclusively.
  
  \-Talks to my brother daily (for business stuff mostly, granted). I can go weeks, months even without hearing from him. His new gf is actually very nice and because of her I see him sometimes for dinner. We live 10 minutes apart.
  
  \-He was very sick a few years back. I took care of him through it all, brought him to appointments, grocery shopped and cooked for him. I was happy to do it but as soon as he was better and had a new GF, I didnt matter.
  
  \-Went on a trip to Costa Rica this winter with my brother and his family. I was not invited and only found out when my nephew let it slip.
  
  
  
  \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
  
  My father isn't all bad. He gave me a loan once that meant a lot to me (that I paid off within a year). If I needed something from him, he would help. If I call him in the middle of the night to come pick me up from a bad situation, he would. I think when I tell him how I don't think he likes me very much he will be shocked. (Because thats what it all points to, that he doesnt like me very much)
  
  But the clear favouritism has broken my heart for years. I don't know how to cope with it besides to talk to him about it. Because years of keeping it to myself isnt working.
  
  TLDR - father has clear favouritism towards brother. Has always given me crumbs compared to what he gives my brother. I want to talk to him about this at some point, just looking for advice from anyone who has ever been in this situation.","[{'e1': ""My father's gf"", 'e2': 'reason', 'relation': 'hated me for no', 'condition': 'when I was young'}, {'e1': 'The cottage', 'e2': '80k', 'relation': 'is probably worth', 'condition': 'after all the money I put'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'would help', 'condition': 'if I needed something from him'}]"
388,P0389,1s66fw7,"Hey everyone, 
  I’m on a burner, like most of us I assume. I actually have a question for couples that are in relationships while having very different views/habits around substances. And I guess my question is, can couples genuinely make that work or does it eventually become a problem, no matter how much you try to ignore your differences? 
  
  I will add the context of my situation for those that are willing to have a read and give me more specified advice, but TLDR: “Can substance-gap relationships work?”. 
  
  I (F27) am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (M30) and it’s getting very serious. We are currently in discussions of closing the distance, what that would entail etc. Something that has increasingly started to worry me recently though is the fact that I am completely sober from all substances (I have never even tried any) and he likes to “garden”. When we initially flagged this difference between us we had a conversation about this, one that I thought was very open and honest. I shared that I’m not inherently against it, but that a big concern of mine with people who use any substance frequently is that they seem to let their dependency on them get in the way of being present and trustworthy. On top of obviously the obvious practical obstacles of just not wanting to be around it, which can be difficult when you share a living space. He responded to this by assuring me he would never let it get in the way of anything and that he does it in the early morning or at the end of a day. He also agreed that he’d want to ideally either quit or at least cut back a lot if kids were ever in the picture. So based on that information I made the decision to keep pursuing a relationship with him because I could see us compromising and making that work. 
  
  I have since learned that the picture that I felt was painted to me and the reality of his habits don’t line up. After several months I learned that he goes home during basically every lunch break (wasting at least a third of his break on driving, on a good day) to partake in this habit. To the point that when there was a lunch he had to attend he asked for an extra hour of lunch so he could still have that hit. I also realised thanks to video calls that he will sometimes even do it WHILE wfh. This already raised red flags for me and I brought it up. But not much came out of that conversation except for the fact he just kind of avoided doing it on calls for a while to I guess create an image that this wasn’t the issue I thought it was. 
  
  But with the frequency of us videocalling picking up more and more I just kept getting a clearer picture of the reality. He basically needs to do it before every meal I see him consume. His food getting cold every single time. He does it multiple times within just a few hours of us hanging out. He also gets edible versions or infused drinks on special occasions. Besides the separate issue which is feeling like he wasn’t honest. I am just genuinely wondering how (and if) this could ever play out once we do end up living together. I understand I need to raise my issues with him again and be more stern and not allow for the conversation to go fully unresolved, but before I do I guess I was wondering how other couples handle this. It would help me a lot to see if and how other couples make this work. That way I know whether I will have a conversation about finding a compromise, or if I will be more leaning towards acknowledging that this might have to be a reason to end things. I am not planning on giving him an ultimatum or make him choose or anything like that. I would never ask that of anyone and I also understand that unless someone’s motivation is truely coming from within, it’s not likely going to be a success story, but a story of someone potentially sneaking it, resenting me etc. If you’re still here, I really appreciate you taking the time to read!","[{'e1': 'He ', 'e2': 'smoke', 'relation': 'agreed that he would want to either cutting back or quit', 'condition': 'if kids were ever in the picture'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'needs to do', 'condition': 'before every meal'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'you ', 'relation': 'really appreciate', 'condition': 'if you are still here'}]"
389,P0390,1s63jyf,"My wife (29F) and I (32M) have been together almost 5 years and married for 1. I love her, I am committed to this marriage, and I do not want to leave. What I want is for her to get real help for this jealousy and for us to have a healthier relationship without me becoming more isolated in the process.
  
  I am posting because I feel pretty desperate at this point. I want to help her feel better, but I also do not want to grow bitter or keep shrinking my life to avoid conflict.
  
  I also want to say this carefully because I am not trying to paint her as a bad person. She is wonderful in a lot of ways. But the jealousy and insecurity are constant, and it has reached a point where it is affecting my life, my work, and our marriage.
  
  This has been there since early in the relationship. At first it showed up as flirty “hey where are you, what are you doing” texts, and honestly I thought it was kind of cute because it felt like she was really into me. But over time it got worse and started affecting basically every relationship in my life.
  
  I have a business partner who is also a close friend, so obviously we work together a lot, and sometimes we also do normal friend things like get a beer or go to a 3-day tradeshow for our company. My wife gets extremely jealous of that friendship and compares the attention I give him to what I give her. She says things like “you reply to his texts faster than mine” or questions why we need to stay at the same hotel for work travel.
  
  Because of all the comments, tension, and fighting, I have pulled back a lot from doing things on my own. I work from home when I can, and I barely see other friends anymore because whenever I try, there are texts, calls, complaints beforehand, or a fight afterwards.
  
  It is not just about other people either. Even at home, she can get jealous over things that make no sense to me, like me wanting to brush my teeth alone instead of with her, or me petting the cat instead of being affectionate with her. That is why I feel like this is deeper than normal insecurity and why I think she needs individual therapy, not just reassurance from me.
  
  I have tried reassurance, affection, quality time, trips together, all of that. We had a great honeymoon and cruise recently. We just bought a house together. In a lot of ways we have a great life. But this issue is still getting worse, and I am scared of where it goes if nothing changes. I do not want this to get to the point where my marriage damages my friendships, my mental health, or even my business.
  
  We are in therapy, but my expectations are low right now because I am not sure she really sees this as her issue. A lot of the time she seems to blame other people instead.
  
  **What should I do if I genuinely believe my spouse needs more help than reassurance from me can provide? How do I push for real individual therapy and change without just endlessly accommodating the jealousy? And at what point do I need to treat this as a serious marriage problem if she refuses to address it?**
  
  **TL;DR:** My wife (29F) and I (32M) have been together 5 years and married 1. I love her and want to stay married, but her jealousy has escalated to the point that I have pulled back from friends, independence, and even some work situations to avoid conflict. We are in therapy, but I do not think reassurance from me is enough and I think she needs individual help. What should I do?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'home', 'relation': 'work from', 'condition': 'when I can'}, {'e1': 'There', 'e2': 'text,calls,complaints or a fight ', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'whenever I try to see other friends'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the issues', 'relation': 'am scared of the end result', 'condition': 'if nothing changes'}]"
390,P0391,1s60pi0,"I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 2 years. We attend different colleges (not more than 3 miles away) and our in-person time varies—some weeks I’m so busy we don’t see each other at all, while other weeks we meet 3 or more times. While I value our time together, I’ve started to really dislike the digital side of our dynamic. She expects frequent, consistent chatting throughout the day and a phone call or long talk every single night before sleeping. 
  The biggest issue is the pressure for ""instant"" and ""meaningful"" replies. She tells me that receiving these replies is how she feels loved, and she says I ""just don't understand"" her perspective on this. She also wants me to check in on her constantly—like when I’m eating lunch, after a class ends, and so on. If I don’t get back to her quickly or if my reply isn't ""meaningful"" enough for her, she gets frustrated or mad. 
  On my side, I’ve started to dislike this constant chatting because I value having my own time to focus on my life, my studies, and my rest. I feel a constant pressure to be ""on call,"" and it makes me feel like I’m failing her just because I’m busy or tired. I’ve told her that she needs to focus on herself more and that I’d love her more if I saw her loving herself, but she still relies on these check-ins for validation. 
  I’m in a relationship where my girlfriend prefers frequent communication, but I’ve realized I need more personal space and time to rest. I'm concerned that if I propose cutting back on daytime conversations, it could lead to an assumption that long phone calls are required every night, even when I'm worn out. I want our relationship to be fulfilling and invigorating, not like I'm constantly on duty.
  
  
  **TL;DR:** My girlfriend of 2 years expects ""instant, meaningful"" replies and constant check-ins all day (lunch, after class, etc.) because it’s her ""love language."" I’m totally drained and feel like I’m working a shift instead of being in a relationship. I want to set boundaries to get some breathing room, but I’m worried that cutting back on daytime texts will just force me into mandatory calls every night when I’m already tired. How do I find a middle ground where she feels cared for but I don't feel like I'm ""on duty""?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'her more', 'relation': 'would love', 'condition': 'if I saw her loving herself'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': ' every night', 'relation': 'could lead to an assumption that long phone calls are required', 'condition': 'if I propose cutting back on daytime conversations'}]"
391,P0392,1s5wlfq,"I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend (30M) for almost 6 years now and I think I have been very patient with him. I know not everyone likes this concept but a year and a half ago I told my boyfriend that I want to be engaged by April 2026 because I’m turning 30 by then and I wanted us to start moving forward in our relationship by then since I want to be married and have kids. He agreed that that was a reasonable timeline and in my head surely he would propose months before that date because he said we should be ready.
  
  By October 2025, we had a serious conversation about his career and plans and basically he said that he needs time to improve a lot of things in his life and we agreed on February 2026 to check-in with each other to see where he is at and if getting engaged would still make sense for us.
  
  By February 2026, he explained to me that he has made significant developments in his life and career that he feels comfortable proposing to me by end of March. Truthfully, I thought he was just waiting for the conversation to happen and he would have proposed almost immediately.
  
  Now, we are counting down to end of March and I was anxious. I expressed my feelings about being a chore since it’s like he’s waiting to the very last minute to propose. He told me that he already bought the ring but he realized that he actually wasn’t ready because as he stands right now he doesn’t feel like he deserves me and he needs more time to do better. I asked why he can’t continue working on himself while we’re engaged and he said he would feel more comfortable if I gave him more time to work on other things and plan for the “best proposal ever”. He asked if he can give me a promise ring instead for now and I felt insulted because we are way past that stage. But he said he wanted to be able to show me he’s still committed to me and he is working on himself for me.
  
  Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and am thinking I’ve waited this long I can wait a bit more and maybe he will improve and commit. The other half fears that he will just keep delaying until it’s too late. Although he insists that he respects my biological timeline, my gut just feels that his readiness may never come. I’m wondering whether it would take longer for him to be ready or for me to find someone else and start over?
  
  Tl;dr I wanted to be engaged by a certain time. Boyfriend waited till last minute to tell me he’s not ready. Now idk if I should start moving on","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'comfort', 'relation': 'would feel more', 'condition': 'if I gave him more time to work on other things and plan the best proposal ever'}]"
392,P0393,1s5s16j,"Me and my girlfriend, she is 19 and I am 19, are in a long-distance relationship. This week, I met her for the 9th or 10th time. After that, I was very tired and fell asleep. When I woke up, she was really scared. That day, she was mad, and we almost broke up. After she broke up with me, two minutes later she texted me, “Call me back, idiot,” and then we went back to our usual routine, like her telling me about her day.
  
  While I was working my job from home, I got confused about something and asked her about it, but she cut the call in anger. I was having low blood pressure that day, and when she cut the call, I passed out because of it. The next morning i said ""even then you knew i had low bp yet you still left me alone'', she said sorry, but her social battery seems very low, and we have not been having a lot of conversations since then. We still call, but her social battery still seems down.
  
  One thing about us is that we never lie about our promises. I asked her a couple of times, and she said nothing is wrong and that she still loves me. I am very confused about what has happened.
  
  then yesterday she briefly told me about that incident and specially emhapized on my statement ""even then you knew i had low bp yet you still left me alone ""and that i made her cross her limit, and now she does not have any expectations anymore and she does not expect anything from me anymore and will not have any problems, she said she only wants my happiness and does not want her happiness but i want her to have problems with my actions, i want her to have standards , i am very confused what to do please help me
  
  TL;DR my girlfriend is feeling disconnected with me","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'was really scared', 'condition': 'when I woke up'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'texted', 'condition': 'after we broke up'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'passed out', 'condition': 'when she cut the call'}]"
393,P0394,1s5mmwp,"I've (27M) been dating this girl (24F) for 3 months and at first I wasn't sure if I was 100% attracted to her at first (the sex wasn't the best at first) but did get much better quickly. She's beautiful, kind and fun. We've been spending a lot of time together and I was glad that somebody good was finally coming into my life. Things felt so simple and beautiful. But I've more or less always had this doubt in the back of my mind that she may not be the one. Like a little voice. This feeling strikes at times, like a sinking feeling in my stomach. At times would get really bad when I overthink it. Eventually it had to come out, since I've told myself and her that I'd be nothing but honest. It all poured out and we cried and it felt like a breakup, until we both confessed our love for each other. It felt like a movie. We cried, and made up and things felt good again for a bit. But the next day the feeling was back, and I couldn't shake it again, but worse. Like a feeling that I need to cut her out of my life, but I don't want to. We saw each other recently and it all came out again, but messier. Feels like I opened pandoras box, and there is no going back. She admitted that if I can make up my mind that I want her, it'll be hard to trust me again. Which is fair. Basically I asked her if she could give me a few days to think about it, and she agreed. As it stands I have to make up my mind as to whether or not I want to be with her. I have one chance left.
  
  Also this feeling, I'm not sure if its a genuine feeling telling me I don't want her or if it's all the noise, social media, and social pressure with finding someone perfect (which I know is impossible).
  
  These last couple of days have left me confused and almost emotionally numb. So basically the best way I can put it right now is I'm not sure if I should just trust my initial gut instinct and find try to find someone that I have more of a spark or attraction for, or try to work things out with her (even though I just nuked this thing big time). What would you do? Any advice or help would be appreciated. Thanks!
  
  TL;DR
  
  Dating 3 months, she’s great and we love each other, but I keep having doubts about whether she’s “the one” — not sure if it’s my gut or overthinking. Now I have to decide whether to stay or end it.","[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'will be hard to trust', 'condition': 'if I can make up my mind that I want her'}]"
394,P0395,1s5is4e,"I 25M have been feeling really conflicted lately, and I’m trying to make sense of everything without being unfair or overly harsh.
  
  The truth is, I genuinely fell hard for my 24F gf. For the last three years, I’ve been completely head over heels for her. She’s not just my girlfriend, she’s my best friend, and that’s what makes this so difficult. But recently, I’ve started noticing differences between us that I can’t ignore anymore.
  
  A lot of it comes down to how we were raised and how we handle situations. I’ve always had a clear vision of the kind of future I want, especially when it comes to having kids someday. I had a very difficult childhood, and because of that, I feel strongly about raising my future family in a certain way. Lately, I’ve been realizing that the way she approaches things doesn’t really align with that vision, and it’s been weighing on me.
  
  I’ve also always been someone who dates with the intention of marriage, but at the same time, I’m only 25. A part of me feels like I still want to experience life more freely and have some fun before settling down completely.
  
  Another thing that’s been hard is feeling like my life has become really limited. She prefers that we do everything together, and while I understand wanting to spend time with each other, it’s gotten to the point where I don’t feel like I have much individuality. Even something simple like going for a jog alone becomes an issue. She often worries that I’m leaving her out or assumes the worst, like I might be cheating, which isn’t the case at all. I’ve just always valued having my own space and identity, even within a relationship.
  
  Lately, even our intimacy has started to feel different, and that’s been affecting me more than I expected. It feels like affection and attention have become a bit conditional, like I need to go out of my way in big ways, such as buying expensive gifts or doing something especially sweet, just to receive that closeness. Because of that, sex has started to feel less natural and less fulfilling for me, which is something I never thought I’d feel in this relationship.
  
  I’ve tried to communicate all of this to her many times. But when I bring it up, it often feels like she pulls away or distances herself, and somehow I end up feeling guilty for even expressing how I feel. Then I find myself giving in to what she wants just to restore peace, and before long, we’re right back in the same cycle again. Even after all those conversations, I still feel this way, which is what’s been weighing on me the most.
  
  It also hurts when she compares us to her friends’ relationships, saying their boyfriends are more deeply in love because they adjust completely to what their girlfriends want without really considering their own needs. I understand that she wants that kind of devotion, and I get where she’s coming from, but I don’t think I can be someone who just follows along and ignores my own individuality.
  
  Because of all this, I feel like I’ve slowly lost parts of myself. A lot of my friends have also distanced themselves because of how they see our relationship, which has been really tough to deal with.
  
  I still care about her deeply, and that’s why this is so confusing. I don’t know if these are things we can work through, or if they’re signs that we’re just not right for each other long-term.
  
  I guess I’m just looking for some honest advice,how do you know when it’s something worth fighting for versus something you need to let go of?
  
  TL;DR: 3-year relationship with someone I love deeply, but differences in values, loss of individuality, conditional intimacy, and a repeating cycle of guilt are making me question if it’s still healthy or worth continuing.","[{'e1': 'She ', 'e2': 'herself', 'relation': 'distances/pulls away', 'condition': 'When I bring it up'}]"
395,P0396,1s5htfe,"my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and everything is perfect. we never argue and when we do we sort it out immediately, we call every night for hours and we work well together. i really do love him. the problem is that our political beliefs are very different. keep in mind i’m fully colombian, all my family is colombian but i was raised in canada, and my boyfriend is a white european. I think of myself as a mid left winged, liberal, but my boyfriend is the far opposite. i don’t really mind the fact we have different political beliefs but he occasionally says things that bother me and seem beyond just politics.
  
  for example, one time we were talking about trump. I had asked if he supported him and i said that i would break up with anyone who supported him. he said that he thinks trump did good for the american economy but is an asshole. that really icked me out cuz i feel it’s weird to say anything positive about a racist, misogynistic man. speaking of, my boyfriend also says misogynistic and racists things while road raging. i find it weird, especially the misogynistic things, to say in front of me. i’ve told him that that really bothers me before but he’s just said that he doesn’t actually mean it, he’s just trying to insult the person driving. i know some of his friends are very yuck and racist but i don’t wanna define him from his friends.
  
  i often think about having kids with him and spending the rest of my life with him, but i think about some transphobic things he says and i wonder if i wanna raise kids with someone who says those things. 
  
  i just don’t know if it’s worth staying with him because i feel like it’s perfect right now but in the future when these topics actually become more prominent and important, we won’t work well together and we won’t last. i love him so much and i honestly am so happy with him. he makes me feel so loved and he listens to whatever issue i have with zero judgement. i honestly think he’s my soulmate and he’s 100% my best friend. but i don’t want to waste time in a relationship that i don’t know will even work out. but i also don’t wanna lose the person i think understands me the most.
  
  does anyone have advice on how to overcome this? or is it best to end it? (i really don’t want to). like i said, he only occasionally says these sort of things so its not really an issue now. 
  
  please, i need the advice.
  
  
  
  (or even advice on how to still be in contact w him if we break up because i don’t want him out of my life)
  
  
  tl;dr
  
  i don’t know if i should break up with my boyfriend bc of his ideologies","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'our arguments', 'relation': 'sort out immediately', 'condition': 'when we argue'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': ""won't work well together"", 'condition': 'when these topics actually become more prominent'}]"
396,P0397,1s5bcdr,"we’ve been together for 2 years and recently he’s been acting really distant. he’s less affectionate, doesn’t text as much during the day, and seems distracted when we’re together. i’ve tried casually asking if something’s wrong but he just says he’s fine and changes the subject. i feel like i’m walking on eggshells, not sure if he’s stressed, losing interest, or if it’s something else entirely. i don’t want to push him away but i also don’t want to keep guessing and worrying.
  
  how do i approach this without making him feel pressured or accused?
  
  tldr: 26f with 27m bf of 2 years, he’s acting distant and less affectionate, need advice on starting a conversation about it without causing tension.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'seems distracted', 'condition': 'when we are together'}]"
397,P0398,1s5a74h,"Him (22M) and I (23F) have been together for 2 years. We survived long distance, survived traveling together, survived arguments, survived life changing situation but yet I can’t help but get irritated with him.
  
  We were eating and he couldn’t finished eating so I said I would finish it for him but he just said to leave it there for my siblings. I don’t know what happened there , but i felt that was very disrespectful to be leaving the left over for anyone like that, to me if you were to leave someone food you should do it at the start (idk maybe its a me thing) , and i said that to him and he said ok
  
  But i can’t shake off being irritated by the little things that he does sometimes. How do I navigate through this hiccup? I really need some advice and thoughts on this 
  
  Tldr: can’t stop feeling so irritated with my boyfriend about little things, and i want to know how i can fix it","[{'e1': 'You', 'e2': ' the start', 'relation': 'should do it at', 'condition': 'if you were to leave someone food'}]"
398,P0399,1s54rdz,"TL;DR:
  I’ve been feeling some distance in my relationship lately and when I tried to bring it up, my girlfriend said everything is fine and didn’t want to discuss it. I’m unsure whether to give her space or try talking about it again—what’s the best way to handle this?
  
  
  Me (21M) and my girlfriend (20F) have been together for a while, and things used to feel really natural and easy between us.
  
  Over the past few weeks, I’ve started to feel a bit of distance. We still talk, but conversations feel shorter and less engaging, and I’m usually the one putting in more effort to keep things going.
  
  I tried bringing it up calmly, but she said everything is fine and didn’t really want to go into it. Since then, I’ve been unsure whether to bring it up again or give her space.
  
  I don’t want to come across as insecure or push too much, but at the same time I don’t want to ignore something that might be important.
  
  How should I approach this situation in a healthy way without making things worse?","[{'e1': 'My gf', 'e2': 'our relationship', 'relation': 'said everything is fine with ', 'condition': 'when I tried to bring it up'}]"
399,P0400,1s52p2d,"I (32f) have been with my boyfriend (36m) for just over a year. I’ve noticed lately that when I disagree with something and have an opinion that is opposite of him he gets upset. If he critiques me I am only to say thank you for the input. Last night I voiced how he’s been getting super competitive with us playing chess together and it’s taken the fun from it. This got me a message of “I’m really getting tired of this shit from you”. I’ve learned not to respond because it will do neither of us good but then I ended up with another message. He went on a rant of how me eating popcorn and not washing my hand directly afterwords and taking “his blanket”, it’s mine, with a butter hand is fucking disgusting and how I am disgusting ect. I didn’t respond to this but cried myself to sleep because I did go wash my hands last night not long after eating popcorn during a movie. He has said before he has anger issues and that a past relationship ended due to the ex not wanting to deal with them. I don’t know how to respond to him and have just been quiet since we live separately. What should I do?
  
  TLDR: boyfriend insults me after I voice my opinion and I don’t know how to respond.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets upset', 'condition': 'when I disagree with something he said'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'you', 'relation': 'am only to say thank ', 'condition': 'if he critiques me'}]"
400,P0401,1s52fkm,"I probably should have just drifted away years ago. She’s always been there to make life a little better when I needed it. To try and sum things up quickly, I met her in grad school and was attracted to her, so avoided any real contact because of our small group and the fact she just has a magnetic personality. If she were just physically attractive, I could have easily moved on. She kept showing up and we became friends. The most difficult thing is that she touched me somewhere deep inside. Until I met her I really hadn’t felt anything; wasn’t interested in a relationship, purely focused on getting through school and getting a job.
  
  The problem was she’s never completely left my life and I kept sublimating any latent feelings I had/have for her. Every time I had a bad day, wanted to go do something, she was there for me. The adventurers and trips we have gone on a core memories that have shaped me. The human intimacy she provided, made me want to find someone I could be romantically involved with. In my heart of hearts I know there was/is/never will be a reality where she will be more than a friend. There were a few times a temporary romantic relationship might have been possible, but she was polyamorous and I knew the jealousy would wreck me worse. Probably should have just let myself fade out after grad school but the pandemic thrust us together again, and I really fell for her, but pushed away any feelings again because I knew it would never work.
  
  For the past four years I’ve been hanging on by a thread taking care of my ungrateful older parents, working long hours and commuting 2+ hours a day. I’ve had no real outlets. I’ve always had a trip or even to look forward to with her. In the last two weeks we took two separate five day trips together, which she planned, and her partner came along for a portion (completely normal for our usual trips), but we were left alone for a lot of it. They were wonderful trips, but yesterday the night before I drove her home, I laid down on the bed and just started sobbing, I couldn’t figure out why. I had to pretend to be asleep so she wouldn’t worry, and I was embarrassed. I tried articulating things to myself all through the night. I figured it came down to three things, despite my feelings she had made a substantial impact in my life(taught me indirectly to be a better person, want romance, express myself, and make those I love know the efforts they made meant so much and more), has been one of the few people in my life to continue to make an effort, and for some reason I always felt safe with her.
  
  I explained it away as being a bit too tired from everything. However, when I dropped her off and tried to thank her, I just started crying, she gave me a hug around my waist and I sort of ran out in a hurry. Now I’m at the point where when I try to calm myself down and things about these things, I just start sobbing. I later walked it back in a thank-you text.
  
  I know this needs to end. Do I just ghost her and not respond which feels like the cowards way out. Write her a letter explaining what her friendship has meant to me, how it’s pushed me to change and be a better person, but that feelings I thought I’d gotten over never really went away. I feel like I need to say something but while also saying, this isn’t looking for a response, it’s not anything but a thank you and an apology. 
  
  I thought she’d be part of my life forever, now what? 
  
  TL;DR: started having feelings for a friend after a long time. She means the world to me and has changed me for the better. I know and don’t know why my feelings came back so strong. How to I love on without being a horrible person and friend?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'could have easily moved on from', 'condition': 'if she were just physically attractive'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'start sobbing', 'condition': 'when I try to calm myself and things about these things'}]"
401,P0402,1s51ckh,"I'm in a relationship with this girl for more than 3 years. This is first relationship for both of us. So,what I have seen over these years is that she is kinda someone who likes to please people like she wants everyone to think that she's a good girl,even if those persons don't really matter to her,she would still like to make everyone think that she's a good girl.She would do things for her friends or classmates or her relatives,that would not be done by her friends or relatives for her, if she asked them,but she would do that for them. When we have a fight, I'm the one who apologizes mostly and she talks to me in ways that she wouldn't with her friends or anyone else. When I confront her about her issues,and ask about what she did and how it hurt me,then in the end I would be the one apologizing for hurting her feelings. 
  
  When something is bothering her or she has some issue or problem, I would give her some advice,she would just say okay and the talk will be over,but if someone else give her the same exact advice, she'll praise him/her about how nice and good is that person,and how good she felt after listening that advice and I'm like,girl,I told you the exact same thing few hours ago. I have confronted her many times about her people pleasing like you don't have to cross oceans for someone who won't even cross a river for you,but she doesn't seem to understand that. And there would not even be half as many efforts for me as she does for her relatives,whom she talks about that how they are un supportive and snakes.But would do anything her relatives say,even if she has to make efforts for them,she normally won't for me,and while I'm the one who has helped her countless times whereas her friends and relatives didn't even care if she's alive or not when they don't need something from her.Is there something I can do better?
  
  \*\*TL;DR : Girlfriend cares about her relatives and friends and makes efforts that won't be made by them for her,but not for me while I'm the one who makes most effort for her and she doesn't even acknowledge that.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the one who apologizes', 'relation': ' am ', 'condition': 'when we have a fight'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'her feelings', 'relation': ' would be the one apologizing for hurting', 'condition': 'when I confront her about her issues'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'some advice', 'relation': 'give her', 'condition': 'when something is bothering her'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'him/her ', 'relation': 'will praise', 'condition': 'if someone else gives her the same exact advice'}, {'e1': 'Her relatives', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': ""don't care if she is alive or not"", 'condition': 'when they do not need something from her'}]"
402,P0403,1s51219,"So for a little context, my bf (25m) and I (24f) have been together for two years. We went to the same school our whole lives. He had a big friend group in high school and they’ve remained friends since.
  
  Now to the problem: I never got along with any of that friend group, except for maybe one of them. And all his guy friends have girlfriends, and I’m nothing like any of them. I don’t have anything against them, I just don’t have anything in common either. I’m not going to change myself for anyone, and the only way I’d really “click” with them is if I did. Now I’ve tried going with my bf to stuff he gets invited to with the group, I’ve done a handful of things with them. But it’s never a fun experience for me, I’m hanging out with a bunch of people I have nothing to say to beyond friendly pleasantries. But they keep inviting him to stuff, and I guess whenever I’m not there, everyone asks about me and where I’m at. Im worried if I keep not going to things, they’re going to think I don’t like them and make presumptions about me. I find it hard because I don’t want to make my bf feel like I hate his friends, and I wanna support him and go with him to outings, but I also dread doing it because i know I’m going to be bored the whole time. The ONLY reason I go is for my boyfriend. Tl:dr Do you think I should keep putting myself through these experiences even though it’s dreading for me, or should I keep my own mental peace and stay home, letting him go?","[{'e1': 'The only way ', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': 'I would click with', 'condition': 'if if I change'}, {'e1': 'Everyone ', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'asks about ', 'condition': 'whenever I am not there'}, {'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': ""are going to think I don't like "", 'condition': 'if I keep not going to things'}]"
403,P0404,1s4z8s0,"Hey Reddit, I M-20 have been in a relationship with my girlfriend F-20 for around 2 1/2 years now, and it’s beginning to feel like our relationship is a lost cause. It just seems like our relationship has lost its spark
  
  . Obviously just like any couple when we started dating we had our honeymoon phase, which lasted for a while, and then even after that things were going well for a long time. It was a few months ago that she began to voice frustrations with me. She said I hung out too much with my friends and not enough with her, and of course I immediately made changes. I started hanging out with my friends less and with her more, (we do live together btw) which temporarily fixed things.
  
  I recently started working overnight at a local factory, which has caused some more strain on our relationship recently. I rarely am able to lay down at night and relax with her, which is something we both value and care about. However, even after all my best efforts, such as taking her on countless dates, going on many walks and doing things that she enjoys doing, she still just didn’t seem happy with me. It always seems like she wants more from me or more than either of us can afford, and is constantly talking about unrealistic vacations and luxuries that we can’t afford, and getting upset when I say that we may not be able to do these things right now :( I really love this woman but it is starting to feel like she is just wanting to break up and idk what to do. Do you all have any advice on what I should do? (Also feel like it is worth mentioning that we used to have a very normal and healthy sex life, and now have not had sex in two months). 
  
  TL;DR Relationship has lost spark, girlfriend wants things neither of us can afford, girlfriend unhappy.","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets upset', 'condition': 'when I say that we may not be able to do these things right now'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'our honeymoon phase', 'relation': 'had ', 'condition': 'when we started dating'}]"
404,P0405,1s4yk99,"I (M46) was with the same woman for roughly 20 years until we divorced few years back. The relationship was good on a many level, but pretty practical. The emotional intimacy was there occasionally and as the usual story goes, we drifted apart over the years. Work, family, hobbies etc. Over the years she kept saying that she would need more intimacy (emotionally) and that she feels alone and rejected from time to time. I really didn't understand (like for real) what she said. Fast forward to today: I've been with my current partner (F44) for 2 years now. And over the past few months I've been starting to hear more and more similarities with my marriage. It's pretty mind blowing and really really hard to acknowledge that I am the common denominator here. It's something in me.
  
  The difference is that my current partner is very verbose and raises these topics up. She follows every guideline out there on how to express things to other person: She speaks from her perspective, articulates how she feels and is not accusing me of anything. Still I get anxious occasionally and start to rationalize things, explain and feeling I'm not enough while she keeps saying that if she doesn't put in the effort, then there's nothing: No deep emotional discussions and connection, nothing fun, no effort and sense of belonging and no sex.
  
  Occasionally my partner, as she describes it, pulls away a bit and as she says ""matches with the level she believes I'm emotionally at"". She says she needs to do it because letting it go for a while keeps the pain away and releases energy to other things. And when she does it, I've realized, it suddenly gives me breathing room to see how much I long for that connection between the two of us.
  
  It's freaking difficult to tell what I actually expect from a relationship. The sense of belonging is apparently so strong in me, that I just don't have the capacity or courage to look inside of me. I'm afraid to initiate intimacy with her because I'm afraid of being rejected and I'm really sad about it. She says she's 100% committed but can't change me and do it for me. I have to do it.
  
  What questions should I ask myself to know what I want? Any links, videos or other tips highly appreciated. 
  
  
  TL;DR: How can I as a a middle-aged man (46) find out what I need from a relationship?","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'breathing space', 'relation': 'sudddenly gives me ', 'condition': 'when she pulls away a bit'}]"
405,P0406,1s4v9hk,"I’ve(26F) been dating this guy (27M) for about two months now, but we’ve actually been friends for over three years. We live around 2.5 hours apart, and with both of us being busy, we don’t get to meet much, so most of our time together is over the phone.
  
  I would like to mention that in person, he’s an amazing guy! He pays attention, he’s really sweet. But when i’m out of sight, i really do feel like i’m out of mind.
  
  The thing is, I’m not really a big texter in general, but with him, I am. I like talking to him throughout the day, sharing little updates like when I’m heading out or doing something random. That’s just how I am with people I really like. He does reply, sometimes quickly and sometimes after a few hours, which I was okay with. But over time, I realized I’m always the one initiating conversations.
  
  I started feeling like maybe I was being too much and might overwhelmed him, so I pulled back a bit. That’s when I noticed that if I don’t text or call first, we can go the whole day without talking. He does usually call me at night after work if he’s free, and we talk for an hour or so then.
  
  I brought this up a few times, telling him I’d like it if we could talk a little more during the day too. He said he would, but nothing really changed. It became a repeated issue, and we ended up arguing about it once. After the fight, he did make a bit more effort for a day, but then he also said that I tend to start fights over small things.
  
  He said I’ve known him for years and that he’s just not someone who likes texting. He prefers to focus on whatever he’s doing without checking his phone constantly, and he feels like the time we already spend talking at night is enough. He also mentioned that talking to me already takes up a lot of his time, which is why he prefers doing it when he’s free instead of throughout the day.
  
  I suggested that even small texts like a quick update would mean a lot to me and wouldn’t take much time, but he said that he can’t do that as he doesn’t like staying glued to his phone like that. He feels satisfied with how things are and doesn’t think he can give me more right now.
  
  When I explained why it matters to me so he did suggest calling me during his commute, but that felt more like a forced solution than something he genuinely wanted to do.
  
  When I said that, he got frustrated and told me to drop the topic because we’re never going to agree on it. He believes what we have right now is enough, and I’m not happy that he wants more.
  
  Lately, I’ve also started feeling like there might be a lack of effort in other areas too, but I don’t want to mention that here. Right now, I’m just trying to figure out if I’m being too clingy for wanting more communication during the day.
  
  ⸻
  
  TL;DR
  
  I like staying in touch throughout the day, but he prefers just talking at night and doesn’t like texting much. I’m always the one initiating, and when I stop, we barely talk. We’ve argued about it, but he thinks things are fine as they are so now I’m wondering if I’m asking for too much.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'mind', 'relation': 'feel like I am out of ', 'condition': 'when I am out of sight'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'the whole day', 'relation': 'can go without talking', 'condition': ""if i don't text or call first""}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'night', 'relation': 'calls me at', 'condition': 'if he is free after work'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'his commute', 'relation': 'suggested calling me during', 'condition': 'when I explained why it matters to me'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'got frustrated', 'condition': 'when I said that'}]"
406,P0407,1s4ugff,"I (23M) have been with my gf (24F) for 4 years now and I truly do love her. However, every time she gets upset she completely ignores me for days to even whole weeks during the most torturous stretches. I’m talking no acknowledgment of my existence or what I’m saying at all, she exists in silence. 
  
  We rarely fight either but rather it seems minor things trigger it, like me not being in the mood when she is. Or sometimes I have no idea what I might’ve done wrong and I wake up to her crying for a few hours to start the morning and the silent treatment starts. I’d rather talk it out but the moment I know she’s getting upset she completely shuts down. No discussion or resolution. When she feels better she doesn’t even want to address the issue and moves on. It’s especially bad when idk what she was even upset at.
  
  Tl:Dr GF never talks it out when she’s upset and chooses to give me the craziest silent treatment for days.","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'completely ignores', 'condition': 'everytime she gets upset'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'the issue', 'relation': ""doesn't want to address"", 'condition': 'when she feels better'}]"
407,P0408,1s4t0zc,"Me (18F) and my sister (19F) are EXTREMLY close, and have been since an early age. We are polar opposites. She has always been more 'masculine' in a sense. She presents herself like she is trying to be a boy (short men's haircut, 'non feminine clothing'). Because of this, she doesn't get romantic attention from men. She has always found herself more comfortable around guys, and has made a good group of friends at university. Before I even knew they were friends, I thought the guy (18M) was very cute, and was attracted to him (saw him in the library one day). Then I found out they were friends, and saw it as a plus. Me and the guy have been flirting a little bit, and he often seeks me out to hangout without my sister, despite her being the 'mutual contact'. I think the guy likes me, and I like him too. The problem is, my sister also likes him, and becomes irrationally angry when I tell her we hung out together. I do not want to destroy our relationship over this. PS. I would never pursue him, but if he asked me out I would say yes. What should I do? I feel like my sister would be selfish to block us, but I would be very jealous if she dated someone I liked. I can't think straight! Please give me advice!
  
  tl;dr Me and my sister like the same guy, but I think he likes me back. I don't want to destroy our relationship over this, but I really like this guy, and he expressed interest in me too! Please give me advice! Should I drop the crush and move on?","[{'e1': 'My sister', 'e2': 'anger', 'relation': 'shows irritational', 'condition': 'when I tell her we hung out together'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'yes', 'relation': 'would say', 'condition': 'if he asked me out'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'would be very jealous', 'condition': 'if she dated someone I liked'}]"
408,P0409,1s4q5if,"Things could be fine and we'd ask if there's anything we can do better and we'd both shake our head and go ""no, you're doing good"" with absolutely nothing coming to the surface about it. Then, when we get into an argument, every slight tone shift and hurtful thing comes to the surface and you can only think of faults. 
  
  I think we're fine, then we get into an argument and my brain immediately pulls up receipts like ""we're always staying at his house, why can't he come to ours? why are we the one initiating intimacy most times? glad he can be so care free !"" and a bunch of other stupid things that only show up in my brain during arguments. I want to mention these things but there are other aspects, moreso logical reasons, that I don't.
  
  We don't stay at my house because it isn't as nicely furnished, or he doesn't initiate because we're DTF 24/7. but why do the problems only surface during an argument??
  
  tl;dr: Why do any problems show up when you're mad? We'll be fine then It'll get pissy and I can only think of faults and upsets. it turns into ""AND ANOTHER THING"" and I don't find that cohesive.","[{'e1': 'Every hurtful thing ', 'e2': 'the surface', 'relation': 'comes to', 'condition': 'when we get into an argument'}, {'e1': 'my brain', 'e2': 'receipts', 'relation': 'immediatley pulls up', 'condition': 'when we get into an argument'}]"
409,P0410,1s4p7g6,"I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 8. Things haven't always been perfect as we have had struggles in the past but we have always worked through most issues and have a happy life. He has pretty severe depression and I lean more on the anxious side.
  
  Over the last 2 years my husband has been neglecting his mental and physical health. I suspect it has been a very severe depression spiral that happened as a result of quitting his job and depression medication. I know that he is unsure of what to do with his career, and I think feels stuck in general in his life.
  
  2 years ago, he quit his job of almost 7 years due to low pay and high stress. He tried a few other jobs but ended up back at the same organization in a lower stress and lower paying position. 
  
  But in this time he also stopped taking medication for his depression or really doing anything to take care of his health. His hygiene has suffered as a result as well as he does not shower for days to weeks at a time. He has suspected sleep apnea and has not seen or talked to a doctor in over 5 years. 
  
  I have tried my best to support him as best I can both financially and emotionally. As of right now my income is significantly higher than his. I do the majority of the housework and cooking and cover a majority of the bills and costs in the household. We are suffering financially because our joint income is not very high. His income at this moment is just too low to support our household without it being detrimental. I know this is a source of shame for him so communicating about this has been hard. He knows he doesn't make enough.
  
  He has expressed a desire to find a different job or to further his education.But does neither beyond occasionally searching and giving up.
  
  My job also requires long hours and is emotionally and physically taxing which leads me to not be able to help as much as I would really like at times. It's leading to me becoming burnt out at home and at work.
  
  He is very emotionally reserved and it is often difficult to support him or help him with what he needs because he will just refuse to talk about it or say everything is fine. He has no interest in taking medications again despite it helping in the past and does not want to go to therapy.
  
  At this point I am just at a loss. I am deeply stressed about his state of mind and physical well being. I know some of this is attributed to anxiety, but I don't think my concerns are that unreasonable. Our physical intimacy is also negatively affected. Libido-wise, we have never truly been on the same page, but it is truly become so awkward between us in that capacity as well the last two years. I am starting to grow resentful and emotionally distant as I am hurt in some ways that he doesn't feel motivated to help himself even for the sake of the relationship. I understand depression is complicated. But I still think it's your personal responsibility to help yourself.
  
  
  After many verbal attempts to talk about my concerns I finally wrote him a very long letter explaining my deep concerns about his mental and physical health and requested that he:
  -Do something actionable towards his depression within one month
  -Write me a letter back explaining what I can do better to support him/increase intimacy
  -Make a doctor's appointment ASAP
  
  At first it seemed like it made a difference, he thanked me for writing the letter and told me he would write me one back like I requested. We talked about other ideas that could help with his depression, such as journaling or workbooks.
  But it's been over a month and he hasn't written me a letter back or done anything about his depression. I ended up just making his doctor's appointment for him.
  
  This was frustrating because he has a large amount of down time at his job of where he can do many of these things.
  
  I understand that with depression itself, it's hard to motivate your to do these things to take care of yourself but if you aren't accepting help from anybody and you won't help yourself, what more is there to do? How much longer do I wait? He is very different from the man I married. Many times when I bring this up or my concerns, he often just shuts down or gets angry with me. 
  
  It's just incredibly heartbreaking because we are so close in many other ways. He truly is my best friend and is the most supportive person I know and there are many other qualities that I love about him, but it seems like he has no direction in his life and doesn't want to take care of himself at all.
  I want to have a future and a life with him but I don't see how that's possible if he won't even take care of himself or the relationship. I am in the process of getting us set up with a new relationship counselor as the old one didnt work well for us. He expresses that he loves me and still wants to be with me but just doesn't seem happy with me. 
  
  Should I wait longer and maybe write him another more serious letter stating that if he doesn't change then we have to reconsider the relationship? Am I not being fair enough? I feel so stuck. i don't know how to help him anymore and it's starting to really negatively affect me.
  
  TL;DR My husband has been neglecting his physical and mental health for the past 2 years due to his severe depression but wont accept help from me or others or treat his depression. This is negatively affe ting the household and the relationship and at this point i am at a loss on how to provide resources or support for him anymore.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a long letter', 'relation': 'wrote him', 'condition': 'after many verbal attempts to talk about my concerns'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'gets angry with', 'condition': 'when I bring this up or my concerns'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': ""don't see how its possible to have a future with "", 'condition': ""if he doesn't chnage""}]"
410,P0411,1s4olbw,"I, F21 am married to my husband, 21M who I will call ""F"". Me and F have been married since the end of last year. We have known and dated for two years before we got married and our parents are both very supportive. We go to the same small Uni as well. Recently, I have begun to feel extremely irritated and upset whenever F is busy. He is busy for long stretches of the day during the week, from 10am to 10pm for example. He is a business student and because of this he is very business minded and is always looking for more opportunities to learn and work outside of class but I feel like its putting some strain on our relationship on my end. He is looking to be in a career where he might have to be away for months at a time and while I understood this before we got married, I cant help but feel neglected. 
  
  Over time I have developed episodes where I am extremely avoidant when he comes back from work, extracurriculars, or his internship which he goes to 3x a week etc... because I felt neglected. I'll avoid him by sleeping on the far end of the bed, give him short responses when he tries to speak to me or just get generally angry at him. I know this is unfair to him but I don't know how to help it. Its not like I don't have my own things to do or friends either, I have several friends, I work part time 20-25 hours a week and I have school full time as well so I am also occupied. I don't know how to help how I feel!
  
  
  TL:DR: My husband is always busy with work and I am beginning to have avoidant episodes because of it.","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'two years', 'relation': 'have known and dated for', 'condition': 'before we got married'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'feel extremely irritated and upset', 'condition': 'whenever F is busy'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'avoidant', 'relation': 'have developed episodes where I am', 'condition': 'when he comes back fromwork,extracurriculars or his internship'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'short responses', 'relation': 'give him', 'condition': 'when he tries to speak to me '}]"
411,P0412,1s4m6tk,"I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year. We’ve had a lot of great moments, but there’s a recurring issue that I can’t seem to get past: I don’t feel like he makes time for me or fits me into his life. We live less than 5 minutes away from each other, but somehow I barely see him. For example, in the entire month of March, I’ll have only seen him twice. That feels crazy to me given how close we live. He travels almost every weekend and is constantly making plans with friends or other obligations, often with people he’s not even that close to. Meanwhile, I feel like I’m always fighting for his time. I’m also busy, but I still make an effort to see him during the week. Ideally, I’d like to hang out 2–3 times a week, but realistically we only see each other once, if that. And even then, he sometimes cancels because he’s working late. I’ve tried suggesting more casual weekday hangouts or even low-effort sleepovers, but he usually rejects that. He says we don’t sleep well together and that he needs good sleep for work, so we end up having sleepovers maybe once or twice a month.
  
  What bothers me most is that he doesn’t seem to think ahead about me. Like, if I hadn’t seen my girlfriend in 3 weeks, I would naturally want to make time for her. But he’ll keep planning trips or other things without considering that we haven’t spent time together. I feel like I go out of my way for him, while he doesn’t really do the same. Even when it comes to planning a trip together, which ive been trying to do for next month since we have never gone on one (or weve never even spent consecutive days together), I’m always the one bringing it up and we havent been able to solidifiy any plans. Meanwhile, he’s constantly going on trips with other people which just makes me feel awful
  
  There’s also a sexual aspect that’s been bothering me. When we have sex, once he finishes, we’re basically done and he falls asleep. I’ve never finished, and even when I try to communicate what I like or suggest things, he’ll try briefly and then stop. It makes me feel like my needs don’t really matter to him. Outside of that, I’ve noticed that when I try to be playful or make jokes, he sometimes takes it the wrong way, gets defensive, and can snap at me or seem irritated out of nowhere. It makes me feel like I have to be careful around him instead of relaxed. I also feel like there’s been a shift over time. At the beginning of our relationship, he would plan dates and make a lot of time. But the longer we’ve been together, the more I feel like I’ve been pushed to the back burner and don’t feel as appreciated or cared for as I used to. I know it’s not always healthy to compare relationships, but I can’t help noticing that in other relationships, partners do small things to make each other feel special—like cooking dinner for each other, planning thoughtful dates, or doing little favors. I don’t expect anything extravagant, but I rarely feel that kind of effort from him, and it makes me feel unimportant
  
  Overall, I just feel alone in this relationship. I’ve brought these things up multiple times, but we don’t seem to get anywhere. The last time we talked about it, he said something like “you can’t expect me to just be free whenever you want to hang out,” which isn’t what I’m asking for at all. I just want to feel like a priority and like he actually wants to spend time with me and be with me. i know that no relationships are perfect so i just wonder if this is a normal or if im the one being clingy and unreasonable?
  
  TLDR: feel like boyfriend doesn’t prioritize me or go above and beyond for me","[{'e1': 'i ', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'would naturally want to make time for', 'condition': 'if i have not seen my girlfriend in 3 weeks'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'am always the one bringing it up to', 'condition': 'when it comes to planning trips'}, {'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'the sex', 'relation': 'are basically done with', 'condition': 'once he finishes when we have sex'}, {'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'will try briefly and stop', 'condition': 'when I try to communicate what I like or suggest things'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'the wrong way', 'relation': 'takes it ', 'condition': 'when I try to be playful or make jokes'}]"
412,P0413,1s4kfxd,"I can’t provide much context because I’m not really sure why; but my boyfriends (29M) youngest sister (18F) doesn’t seem to like me (22F) very much. I’ve been with my partner for about 8 months now and I have met his family numerous times and he has insisted on having me to every family get together of theirs (most of the get togethers happen at his apartment on Sundays and me and him essentially live together there now anyway). Now I am a very shy quiet person so I’m not outright talkative around his family yet because it takes me a while to get comfortable and not nervous around family members; but I do get along quite well with his mom and oldest sister as well as his younger brother. However as I mentioned, his youngest sisters always seems to almost avoid talking to me whenever I’m around. I’ve mentioned it to him before and he just says she’s very timid as well; so I thought that made sense at first. But recently I’ve found it to become increasingly more obvious she may not be a fan of me. She’s the only one that doesn’t say hi to me when I’m around, she’s made some shady comments about my age compared to his, and one time she even made fun of a post he made of me privately to him. I don’t wanna bring this up to him again; him and her are very close and I don’t want to make it seem like I’m hating on her or cause any issues between them. So I suppose I’m looking on advice on how anyone else has navigated and or solved this in their relationship?
  
  TLDR; my boyfriend’s youngest sister does not seem to like me and I’m not sure how to navigate it without causing any issues.","[{'e1': 'His youngest sisters', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'seem to avoid talking to', 'condition': 'whenever I am around'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'does not say hi to', 'condition': 'when I am around'}]"
413,P0414,1s4jozy,"I’ve \[M30\] been in a relationship for two years with my girlfriend \[F33\], who is originally from China. I’m Dutch, and she has been living in the Netherlands for over seven years. We’ve been living together for more than a year.
  
  Throughout our relationship, we’ve had a recurring pattern: relatively small situations (at least from my perspective) sometimes escalate into very intense emotional reactions from her, followed by her shutting down and ignoring me for days.
  
  A recent example: I was gaming when she asked whether we should cancel a house viewing. I responded casually, saying the area was probably hopeless because of overbidding. I agree it wasn’t the most engaging response. She became distant, cried, asked me to sleep on the couch, and has now been ignoring me for three days.
  
  This isn’t the first time. It has happened with things like buying gifts she didn’t find practical, not walking on the “protective” side of the sidewalk, misunderstandings involving my family or friends (she feels they are not caring enough and always take my side, as well as me being defensive for them), forgetting small details about her, or even placing too much food on my side of the table. Situations like these often lead to several days of silence, and normally I apologize and try to improve my behavior. Several of the behaviours I did indeed could be refined.
  
  Lately she has also questioned whether I would make a good father, based on things like giving her water that was too hot or not being very handy with household repairs. When she was sick and I diluted medicine too much she also was annoyed with me.
  
  At this point, the accumulation of these situations has become overwhelming for me. It feels like I have to constantly monitor everything I say and do to avoid triggering her. When I’m tired or focused, I may say something or act less-caring, and it can escalate into days of silence. I’m currently on day three of sleeping on the couch, and I don’t feel able to apologize again.
  
  I suggested couples therapy multiple times, but she believes the issues are mainly my fault and I keep on hurting her. Thus, I decided to see a therapist myself, and after several sessions the therapist told me that her reactions seem disproportionate and that I should be able to express my opinions. My girlfriend didn’t like this and felt the therapist was taking my side.
  
  I want to be clear that she’s not a bad person. She is caring, loving, and supportive in many ways. I know she has struggled to fully integrate into Dutch society (which seems much colder and distant compared to her own) and that I’m her main support system here, which may make things emotionally heavier for her. She also has very high expectations of how I should act, and I have tried hard to meet them — but it still doesn’t feel enough. I’m constantly reflecting, adjusting, and trying to improve, but it’s slowly taking its toll. I’m starting to feel like I’m changing too much and losing parts of myself in the process. For example, she told me that friends would only be allowed to sleep over once a year when we eventually have our own house — a rule she set.
  
  Right now, I’m unsure what to do anymore. Anyone dealt with similar situation before? I was thinking of proposing couples therapy again.
  
  TL;DR: I’m in a two‑year relationship where small issues often escalate into big emotional reactions from my girlfriend, leading to days of silence and me sleeping on the couch. I’ve apologized and adjusted myself many times, but her expectations are extremely high, and I feel like I’m losing myself trying to keep the peace. I love her, but the dynamic has become emotionally exhausting and unsustainable.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'medicine', 'relation': 'diluted too much', 'condition': 'when she was sick'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'something', 'relation': 'may say ', 'condition': 'when I am tired or focused'}, {'e1': 'friends', 'e2': 'sleepover', 'relation': 'would be allowed to', 'condition': 'only once a year when we eventually have our house'}]"
414,P0415,1s4jlrg,"TL;DR So my boyfriend (19M) and i (18F) have been together for about 4 months now, and up until this point things have been running really smooth and things were great. But a few days ago, something happened that changed everything for us. So i won’t go too much into detail but it involved another girl (who he had past relations with) who had feelings for him who he’s part of a friendgroup with but he didn’t shut down the crush. That led to the girl finding out that he had a girlfriend (me) and she took his phone when he wasn’t paying attention and blocked me everywhere from his phone.
  
  Obviously i was really bothered by this because i didn’t know of the situation at hand and naturally i was really confused. Eventually we had a conversation about the situation and found out that it was a big misunderstanding. Obviously i was still very furious because he entertained a girl who showed interest in him. I blew up and cussed him out pretty badly and i do admit that losing my temper on him was not the best thing to do, because in turn i did say a lot of things i didn’t mean.
  
  I told him i didn’t know if things would go back to the way they were and i was furious and lost a significant amount of trust in him. He apologized profusely and asked me to take some time to relax and cool off so i can make a clear decision on whether or not i still want to be with him and continue things. I then cooled off and realized that i said a lot of things i did not mean at all and i felt really bad. I stayed up until 3am thinking about the situation and came to my final decision— that i would like to stay with him and not let a small misunderstanding and problem like this ruin all the effort we had put into each other.
  
  But when i woke up i noticed he sent me a message at 4 in the morning apologizing again and taking accountability of his actions. He also told me he would like to take a step back from our relationship and take time to work on himself. He said that i am special and no one has ever shown genuine interest and patience with him. And again apologized for putting me in a situation that made me feel embarrassed and disrespected and for falling short. He also said in his message that he’s not giving up on me but he just wants to see me happy.
  
  I then called him after i read his message to talk and he had already made his mind. He said he needed to fix his issues before he can fully commit to anyone. He also said he’s doing this because he didn’t want to hurt me or hear me cry the way i did when we spoke on the phone the night before because it hurt him and couldn’t fathom the thought of making me feel that way again. And he’ll come back home once he had his stuff figured out.
  
  He loved me with such an intense passion and i’m willing to wait for him. But i’m scared. i really want to wait for him because i do love him a lot. But at this point i don’t know what to do with myself. He had become a big part of my daily life and now i can feel that something is missing. We did have a conversation earlier this evening and he said i should do what i think is best for me— whether thats leaving him or waiting for him. I think with what i said last night i gave the impression that i didn’t want to continue the relationship.
  
  Am i stupid for wanting to wait for him? Even if it takes some time?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'his phone', 'relation': 'took and blocked me everywhere on', 'condition': 'when he was not paying attention'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'his issues', 'relation': 'needed to fix', 'condition': 'before he can fully commit to anyone'}]"
415,P0416,1s4jaam,"I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (24M) for a year and a half, overall we have a strong relationship but I’m feeling really conflicted about something.
  
  I do love him, but sometimes he acts in ways that turn me off. Sometimes he switches into a “cutesy"" almost childlike mode, like changing his voice, gets shy, and refers me to in third person. This happens both in normal moments and sometimes when he’s being affectionate or sexual. When he’s like this, I feel really turned off. Recently it’s gotten to the point where I’ve felt quite repulsed, and it’s been lasting for almost a week now.
  
  It seems like part of his personality, and it comes up fairly often. I’ve noticed my attraction to him goes up and down depending on how he’s acting in that moment.
  
  I haven’t properly communicated this to him yet. I feel really guilty because I don’t want him to feel like I’m rejecting who he is. But I'm also worried that if I don’t say anything, I’ll keep feeling more and more turned off and it will affect the relationship anyway.
  
  So I guess my question is: is this something that couples normally work through by adjusting behaviours for each other, or are we just most likely not compatible? Has anyone experienced something similar where a partner’s specific mannerisms impacted attraction, and were you able to fix it through communication? I’d really appreciate honest perspectives.
  
  TL;DR: I love my boyfriend, but his “cutesy” behaviour (voice changes, shyness, third-person talk) often turns me off, sometimes even makes me feel repulsed. It happens fairly often and affects my attraction to him. I haven’t told him yet because I feel guilty, but I’m worried it’ll keep getting worse. Is this something couples can fix through communication, or does it just point to incompatibility?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'feel really turned off', 'condition': 'when he is like this'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'will keep feeling more and more turned off', 'condition': ""if i don't say anything""}]"
416,P0417,1s4is2r,"My boyfriend (25M) and I (25F) have known each other since we were 16. We were together for about 5 years before breaking up because of poor communication, ego, and anger issues, especially on my side. When we argued, he would shut down and ignore me for days, which made me feel incredibly alone.
  
  We spent 2 years apart and dated other people, but somehow we never really let each other go. We stayed in contact the whole time, and when we were both single again, we decided to try again.
  
  I really thought this time would be different. I wanted it to work so badly.
  
  But after getting back together, I started noticing things that made me feel insecure in a way I’ve never felt before. I saw the girl he dated during our breakup, and I couldn’t stop comparing myself to her. She’s everything I’m not — petite, really pretty — and it made me question my own worth more than I’d like to admit.
  
  I made the mistake of asking about their relationship and digging into the details. I regret it, but I couldn’t stop myself at the time.
  
  What hurt the most was finding out that he did things for her that he never did for me in the 5 years we were together. He introduced her to his parents, celebrated her birthday, and brought her into his personal space in ways he never did with me. It made me feel like I was never enough, even after all those years.
  
  He told me she left him because he kept talking about me, and that I’m the one he really wants. I want to believe that, but it’s been hard.
  
  A few months into us getting back together, things got worse. We were arguing almost every day because I kept bringing up his past. He still had her contact, and I asked him to block her. When I later found out he had unblocked her and even went to a club without telling me where he saw her again, it completely broke whatever trust I had left.
  
  He said he just wanted to “talk things out,” but I couldn’t understand why that was even necessary.
  
  When I confronted him, he told me that I had been so obsessed with his ex that it made him start missing what he had with her. That honestly broke me. I didn’t even know how to respond to that.
  
  I ended things, but a week later he came back, apologizing and promising to be better, more honest, and that he only wants me. I took him back because I still love him.
  
  But now I don’t feel like myself anymore.
  
  I’ve become anxious, overly protective, and controlling in ways I never used to be. I hate that I’m like this now. Every time we argue, I find myself going back to the same issues, and I can’t seem to let go of the past no matter how much I try.
  
  Part of me still wants this relationship to work so badly because of our history and how much I care about him. But another part of me feels like I’m slowly losing myself and my peace in the process.
  
  I don’t know what’s the right thing to do anymore.
  
  How do I deal with these feelings and rebuild trust in a healthy way without turning into someone I don’t recognize?
  
  (TL;DR) Got back with my long-term ex, but learning about how he treated his previous girlfriend made me insecure and lose trust. Now I feel like I’ve become someone I don’t like in this relationship and don’t know how to fix it.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'ignored', 'condition': 'when we argued'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'relationship', 'relation': 'decided to try again with the', 'condition': 'when we were both single'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': ' trust', 'relation': 'completely broke whatever I had left as', 'condition': 'when I later found out he had unblocked her'}]"
417,P0418,1s4irh4,"Sometimes I feel like my girlfriend isn’t very affectionate, and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it or if it’s something worth bringing up.
  
  There are moments where it feels like she’s not entirely into me as I am into her. She doesn’t really express how she feels unless I say something first, and I guess I’m someone who appreciates a bit more reassurance. She does occasionally tell me that she’s crazy about me, but other than that it’s quite rare for her to tell me her feelings towards me. 
  
  At the same time, I don’t want to come across as needy or turn her off by asking for that. Not sure if this is just a difference in how people show affection or if it’s something I should actually talk to her about
  
  TLDR: Girlfriend isn’t very expressive or affectionate unless I initiate, and it makes me feel like she might not be as into me. Not sure if I’m overthinking or if I should bring it up without sounding needy.","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'her feelings', 'relation': 'does not express how', 'condition': 'unless i say something first'}]"
418,P0419,1s4ijf3,"There are a few ways my boyfriend touches me that I don’t really like very much. 
  
  He sometimes holds my hand and puts it on his cheek and leaves it there while we talk, for several minutes. I don’t hate the idea of it, but he does hold it longer than I would like.
  
  Another thing he does is that whenever I express that I don’t like something about previous relationships or our dynamic, he will give me a bear hug that I find overwhelming. I want to look at him directly when we talk. I don’t want to have him wrapped around me when I’m saying something serious. I think he’s trying to show that he’s listening and he cares, but that’s NOT the way I need him to react in that moment.
  
  I’ve felt a bit reluctant to share these things with him because I feel like they come off as micro-managey or a bit petty or like I’m coming up with things to complain about…
  
  How to tell him these things?
  
  **tl;dr:** Boyfriend sometimes touches me in ways I don’t like. How to tell him?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'want to look directly at', 'condition': 'when I talk'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'do not want to have him wrapped around', 'condition': 'when I am saying something serious'}]"
419,P0420,1s4f42z,"TL;DR My girlfriend is unsure if she wants a future with me and I’m not sure how to support her or keep from pushing her away by trying to ‘fix’ things. 
  
  This is my first reddit post, so I’m a bit nervous, but I was hoping for some advice. 
  
  I (26f) have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year now. She (23f) and I have recently had a few very big conversations about our relationship and future. 
  
  It started after we had a talk about our hometown. We both live 10 hours from where we grew up and where our families are. I’ve never had much interest in going back, but she confessed that she wants to move back when her sister has a baby. 
  
  Her sister and sister-in-law are planning to start trying in the next year. It scared me at first, because I just started working on my career, but I love her and want a future with her, so I decided that I’d be willing to do that for us. 
  
  But then, about a week later when I brought it up again, the conversation turned into whether or not she sees a future with me. With her being younger, she has all these things she wants to do and experience, and I want to give her the space to do so. I just want to be the person she comes home to. She brought up how our lives are in different places right now, and I thought about that a lot when we first got together, so I understand.
  
  She told me that when she thinks about her future, that sometimes I’m in it, and sometimes I’m not. I know that we’ve only been together for a year, and that things can change over time, but I’m scared to lose her. 
  
  Throughout all of this she’s told me that she loves me, and doesn’t want to break up any time soon, but with our future together up in the air it feels like there’s a ticking clock. 
  
  I have anxiety, and I like to find answers and solutions, but I also want to give her space to decide these things for herself. I know I can’t make that decision for her, but it’s hard because I’m ready to be all in with her. 
  
  I’m trying to just focus on the present and maintaining the connection and love we have now, but the fear of the future keeps popping up. I feel like I’m having a Meredith Grey moment, asking her to choose me. 
  
  I dont really know what I’m looking for. Maybe advice on how to stay present? How to better the connection we have now in hopes of that helping her decision? How to give her the space she needs to make these decisions for herself without shrinking myself?
  
  I don’t know, I just, I love her and my mind keeps going in circles.","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' her hometown', 'relation': 'wants to move back to', 'condition': 'when her sister has a baby'}]"
420,P0421,1s48l8u,"Me and my partner have been together for about 7 years. He’s always struggled with some control issues and I struggle with regulating my emotions and can be a bit of a short fuse. I’ve tried to talk to him about the control issues and mentioned trying couples counseling but he usually just tells me there’s nothing he can do and it’s just how he is. He does go through periods where it gets better and sometimes I can handle it more than others. Right now I’m going through a bad time and it’s eating at me realizing that I’m about to be in my 30s and this may be the rest of my life.
  
  I don’t really talk to anyone bedsides him, my family and his family. Still anytime I get a text I have to tell him who it is and what it says. During our relationship I have not been able to go outside on my own. He does not physically stop me he just kind of guilts me or says he will break up with me. He claims it’s for my own safety and that he’s scared something will happen to me. He is very anxious so to an extent I understand but even when I take the trash out I have to be on the phone with him and if anyone says anything to me I have to tell him what was said.
  
  I also do all the chores in the relationship and do all the cooking and cleaning. He has a much better job than me and I pay all the bills while he’s building a savings he says is meant for a house for us. All of these things sound bad and if my sister was going through this I would say to leave him immediately. However whenever we have fights it is always switched around and blamed on me. I have a tendency to get very emotional during fights and do yell and say nasty things that I know aren’t okay. Whether I caused the fight or not (from his perspective I am always the cause of the fight) it usually ends with him not having to take responsibility for anything and me apologizing over and over again. Then I have to come up with things I can do to make it up to him. We refer to these as punishments, so I may have to go without sweets or a favorite drink for a period of time, or give him some back rubs or things like that.
  
  He also gets really upset when I drop things. If I’m in a clumsy period I will sometimes get punishments if I’m dropping things too often or drop something like my phone or AirPods. Somehow this is one if the things that gets me the most. I try to be really careful and not drop things or knock things over but I can get distracted and do end up dropping things a lot more than I probably should. At this point I’ve dropped things so often I have to immediately tell him what happened and ask if I need to do something to make up for it. On days that he’s not here I drop something and then freak out and then feel like crying because there’s such a sense of relief that he’s not here. Growing up I was always taught that people are more important than things and if I dropped something I was never in trouble which is maybe why I drop things so often. My family is all really clumsy though so that probably contributes.
  
  I feel that I have to add in that he is nice and funny outside of these things but I understand it’s a lot. I know I can be a handful as well and I do really care for him and I have serious attachment issues which makes this situation feel so bad. He has even gotten a bit better with the control issues but I just feel like things are never going to be how I want them to be. I know some of this stuff is going to sound like I’m making it up because who would be okay with some of these things but it’s crazy how these things can eventually just start to feel like the norm. I don’t really know what I’m asking just more trying to verify that this isn’t how most relationships are right? I sometimes complaint to him that I wish we were more like other couples and he always tells me that I have no idea what goes on in other relationships which is true but I have to imagine a majority aren’t like this right?
  
  TLDR: Exhausted from putting in all the work for my relationship where my partner won’t let me go outside and is constantly getting on to me and blaming everything on me.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'have to tell who it is and what it says to', 'condition': 'whenever I get a text'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' him', 'relation': 'have to be on the phone with', 'condition': 'when I take the trash out'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him ', 'relation': 'have to tell what was said to', 'condition': 'if anyone says anything to me'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him ', 'relation': 'would say to leave', 'condition': 'if my sister were going through all these'}, {'e1': 'it ', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'is always switched around and blamed on', 'condition': 'whenever we fight'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'gets upset with', 'condition': 'when I drop things'}]"
421,P0422,1s4884g,"My S/O (29M) and I (25F) have been dating for around 8 months. I call it SO and not ""my boyfriend"" because that's exactly what I'd like to figure out/need advice on.
  
  We met around the middle of last year and started seeing each other at the beginning of July, by our third date we had our first kiss and all that cheesy stuff, and you could say that that was the starting point of the ""relationship"". Since then, we started to see more during the week, we've traveled a lot, I've met his family, his best friends, he has met my mom, siblings and some of my friends, he stays over at my place multiple times, we make plans for the week, he's what you would call ""the provider"" so he pays for some of my stuff (small bills) and so on. If we ever run into someone he knows, he'll introduce me as his partner or girlfriend.
  
  Now, here's the thing, even though the ""relationship mode"" is there, I have told him about three times throughout the 8 months that we've been dating that it's important for me that he ask me that typical question of ""do you wanna be my girlfriend?"" or ""do you wanna go out with me?"", and the last time we talked about it, he said ""you're right, I've delayed it too much either because of money, thinking about the perfect place or the perfect flowers for you... this shouldn't even be a conversation, let me compensate you"", that was last month. We have good communication so I really don't have trouble telling him what I think most of the time, and oh boy, this guy is like Dory from Finding Nemo, he forgets about a lot of stuff, and I get it, I've learned that I have to remind him certain things from time to time, but this in specific, shouldn't this be a priority or a given that you do when you KNOW you want this person in your life? 
  
  He has told me things like ""stay with me"", ""I see you in my future"", ""I want a life with you"", and of course, lots of I love you's. We've talked about moving in together, but idk (asides for other topics that we still have to talk about)
  
  TLDR, should I remind him again about him making it official or should I just roll with it? 
  
  Note: English is not my first language so apologies for any types or grammar mistakes lol","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'his partner or gf', 'relation': 'will introduce me as', 'condition': 'when ever we run into someone he knows'}]"
422,P0423,1s47xkn,"I was with a girl \[18F\] when I was 14, about 4 years ago. The connection was good, but I ended up breaking up with her in July 2022 because I wasn’t feeling much anymore and things were going in circles. We still stayed on good terms, and I kept a good relationship with her family. Since then, I haven’t really tried with another girl. With her, I don’t feel that weird awkwardness I usually feel when trying things with someone.
  
  We were in the same high school. A few months after we broke up, she got with another guy and stayed with him from June 2023 to November 2025. In August 2024, we randomly started talking again, we kissed and spent some good moments together, but she went back to him in early September, so I stopped talking to her again.
  
  About a month ago, she messaged me again. I honestly can’t bring myself to refuse talking to her. I really enjoy talking to her. I’m now in university in another city while she’s still in high school in our hometown, so we don’t see each other often.
  
  We talk every day, sometimes call, but nothing that clearly suggests we’re in a romantic relationship. It feels like an in-between situation: when we text, it’s more like friends, but when we see each other, we act much more like a couple. We go to the cinema, bowling, I sleep at her place sometimes, we kiss, we flirt, and we’re very comfortable together. We also joke a lot and often make sexual innuendos with each other without any embarrassment, which shows there is still some attraction and chemistry between us.
  
  At the same time, I don’t know if she’s really attracted to me or if she just doesn’t show it clearly. I’m happy when we talk, but I also feel stupid for talking to my ex again, because I know it’s often a bad idea and the distance makes things more complicated. Still, the connection between us feels very natural and pleasant, which is why I keep going back to it.
  
  I’m not jealous because she’s not my girlfriend, and if she wants to see someone else, that’s her choice. What bothers me is more this uncomfortable feeling of being emotionally involved in something that has no clear direction.
  
  **My question is:** 
  How can I manage this kind of undefined relationship with an ex in a healthy way, so I can enjoy the connection we have without getting more emotionally attached or ending up hurt if things don’t progress?
  
  **Length of relationship:** 
  We dated for about 1 year when we were younger, and we’ve been talking again for about 1 month now.
  
  **TL;DR:** 
  I \[19M\] started talking again with my ex \[18F\]. We talk daily and act like a couple when we meet (kissing, flirting, sleeping over), but we live in different cities and nothing is defined. I enjoy the connection but feel uncomfortable being emotionally involved in something unclear and I’m not sure how to handle it in a healthy way.","[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'friends', 'relation': 'is more like', 'condition': 'when we text'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'a couple', 'relation': 'act much like ', 'condition': 'when we see each other'}, {'e1': 'i', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'am happy', 'condition': 'when we talk'}]"
423,P0424,1s47ic5,"The origins of our relationship is fairly murky, but we were hooking up maybe for like twoish years and since then have been dating for a little over a year. Our relationship is the most peaceful I’ve ever been in but it’s also really boring. At his core, there’s so many things about him that I can identify to define how he shows up in the world and why I love him. I feel so hot and cold all the time and I wonder if we rushed into moving in together. My love as a practice remains steady but my feeling of love cycles through feeling intense to barely there. I’m worried that it’s abnormal and this isn’t the relationship I’m supposed to be in. It's possible that I just fear commitment?
  
  What bothers me about the relationship is that I don’t have fun with him really. We can at home sometimes but when we go out he’s like so… just there. It’s also worth mentioning that he’s not at a point where he’s able to match me career wise/financially so while I’ve happily arranged for us to take little trips or just do fun things around our city it just doesn’t feel substantial to me. And honestly a lot of the things that I’ve wanted to do as a couple don’t interest him. So we stick to running errands, maybe going out to grab food, or something with the arts like I recently arranged for us to go watch a play. When we go out for dinner he just sits there, and look I enjoy comfortable silence and all, but I don’t want to go out and JUST eat every single time, and initiating conversation can feeling like pulling teeth. Afterwards he’s like we had such a good day or that was so fun but to me it’s truly like I might as well just be doing it alone. And to that point I know there’s fun to be had alone or with friends but I don’t want to feel like it’s something I can’t experience with him. And when we stay home he’s not actually spending time with me. Coming home from work, he starts working on his own project he wants to launch, eats, showers, reads, and sleeps everyday without fail. If it’s a weekend it’s the same thing just without heading off to work. I understand that he has goals he wants to achieve but it feels like there’s no space to nurture each other in the present. I love sex but it is so hugely mental first for me and I’m not being stimulated at all. While I think he’s so attractive, it’s hard for me to give into his advances let alone make them myself.
  
  He’s also become very serious about his religion since the beginning of us dating so there are things that he won’t engage in anymore like drinking alcohol which is fine but he also refuses to go anywhere where people drink or sit at the dinner table with me if I decide to have a drink. Drinking isn’t a pillar of my existence or whatever but I feel like I’m losing myself in him. He’s vegan, I’m vegan now and I’m really into food so I will say it’s actually been interesting to me learning to adapt. He doesn’t drink or smoke or anything so neither do I and it’s like I don’t want to do it away from him and bring it back home to him knowing how he feels. He’s super religious and tells me I’m closeted and reads verses with me every night. He likes more subtle things and I’m finding myself wanting to tone myself down or something. I went from solo living in a very colorful and pink apartment to buying all of this black and brown furniture and it just feels like a physical representation of losing myself as silly as that may sound.
  
  I’m obviously in a cold period right now. When I get like this I wonder if I’m being superficial or something. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago I was deeply thinking about building a life together and it’s crazy to me how I feel so detached from that now but know it’ll probably arise in me again. He’s very sweet but I worry that the things he’s working towards aren’t concrete and all of that rhetoric about living in your 20s is really getting to me. I want to experience more life with him! He was upset when I brought it up because he said he feels like he does everything he can right now — he takes me on walks or buys me a treat when he can. And I’m very aware that sounds like I’m a dog or something but that’s what it is. I don’t know when or how things will pay off, but I don’t want to live like this longterm. I've never even thought about seriously building a life with someone before, never lived with anyone before, and to me that spoke to the depth of how I feel for him. But having taken these steps with him, it feels heavier to think that it might become undone.
  
  
  TL;DR: I feel really hot and cold about being with my boyfriend and worry I may be losing myself in him since moving in together. I don't feel like we have much fun together but he's too worried about his finances to be able to let go with me.","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'there', 'relation': 'is like so just', 'condition': 'when we go out'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'refuses to sit at the dinner table with', 'condition': 'if I decide to have a drink'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' superficial ', 'relation': 'wonder if I am being', 'condition': 'when I get like this'}, {'e1': 'He ', 'e2': 'walks/treats', 'relation': 'takes me on or buys me', 'condition': 'when he can'}]"
424,P0425,1s46xjj,"I've been with my girlfriend (37F, I'm 36M) for just over a year. I really do love her. She's a genuinely good person, very caring, and we share a lot: values, humor, hobbies, like being in the nature, etc. When things are good, they're really good.
  
  But something in me keeps holding back, and I'm trying to figure out if that's a me problem or a us problem.
  
  The main tension is around conflict and commitment. When we argue, she can get pretty intense, raised voice, strong emotions (or at least that's how I experience it). It makes me anxious and overwhelmed, like the relationship becomes unpredictable. There was one time she pinched me during an argument out of frustration. I understand the context, but it still sits with me. I also don't like that sometimes we end up arguing on the phone/whatsapp. Makes me feel that the possibility of a discussion can be at any moment.
  
  I've told her many times that heated arguments are really hard for me (to be fair, that took me a while to express in a direct way. Many times i just brushed it up). The problem is that now *that* makes her anxious too. She says she has to constantly wonder if she's ""allowed"" to bring something up because she doesn't want to trigger me. So it's become a bit of a cycle.
  
  Independence has always been important to me — I've lived alone abroad for 15 years. Sometimes i think part of it is that I just don't have a reference point for this. My only previous long relationship was almost 11 years, and in retrospect it was pretty ""light""... we had plans to move in together but it never actually happened due to different reasons (University, work, COVID, etc) . So maybe I just don't know what a more committed, day-to-day relationship actually feels like.
  
  There's also smaller stuff. She doesn't really get some of my hobbies like video games or my houseplants. There's also the weed thing. I smoke occasionally, and she's not happy about it. She says she's not asking me to ask permission, just to keep her informed, but the distinction doesn't feel that clear to me in practice. These things are minor but they add up to this feeling that I have to think twice before doing stuff that's just part of my life.
  
  We're in couples therapy, which has helped. She recently found her own place instead of moving in with me (she's actually moving today), and I feel weirdly guilty about that even though I think it was the right call. Until now she was living with her parents (she was living abroad before). The last 2 months she kind of moved to my place. It had some nice moments but i think for both of us was hard (my place is very small for two people). I felt that i had to think twice before doing some stuff (which maybe is normal! and i am just not used to), and she felt that i didn't allow her to really feel like ""home"".
  
  Here's the core of it: I do want all of this: living together, family, the whole thing. That's not in question. But I need to feel real emotional stability in the relationship first. She needs that certainty now. I understand why, I just can't give it to her on her timeline without it feeling forced.
  
  So I feel stuck: commit before I'm ready and it feels dishonest, or be honest and risk losing her.
  
  **My question is: Is this kind of behavior something that can be worked on, like continuing with the therapy? Is this avoidant attachment on my part, or are we just genuinely misaligned on timing?**
  
  **TL;DR:** 
  I care about my girlfriend a lot, but I don’t feel emotionally stable enough in the relationship to commit to moving in together yet. She needs certainty now, I need more time and stability first, and I’m struggling between being honest or risking losing her.
  
  PS: I used AI to help improve the wording, English isn’t my first language.","[{'e1': 'Things', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'are really good', 'condition': 'when things are good'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'can get pretty intense', 'condition': 'when we argue'}]"
425,P0426,1s46xe9,"My bf (33m) and I (38f) have been together for two years. He’s never been super attached to a device—he plays games on his phone and pokemon on an old gameboy. He’ll be on his phone or something, but put it down. So I’ve always felt there was a good balance between screen time and just spending time together talking, bs-ing, etc.
  
  He started to up his screen time significantly a month ago, right after I had a MMC at 14w+1. He’ll be next to me, playing a golfing game or baseball game he likes, checking scores on espn, or his bracket. When I ask what he’s looking at, he’ll just say something, which irks me. I genuinely am curious about what’s captured his attention, and want to talk to him about it. Even the gameboy has been out more. It’s out for car rides, on the couch for a movie, and even in bed up until he goes to sleep. I usually wait for him to put the stuff down before I start to chat. Like I don’t want to interrupt him every day. But he’ll put it down and say “goodnight.”
  
  I’ve talked to him a couple times. I’ve told him I wait for him to put the device down to talk, and i want to be able to talk and chat.
  
  He’s not cheating. I don’t think there’s anything nefarious going on. We’ve had one bigger argument since our loss. It was about a month after, and I started crying. He was visibly frustrated and said he reached his limit. I don’t think anyone was wrong here, just that we grieve differently. He is sad, but focuses on positive outcomes in the future. The loss deeply affects me. I’ve barely been able to function. I cry frequently. I overthink. I over research. There was no cause for the MMC, which is both good and bad. Good that we don’t have a genetic issue. Bad because it leaves me grasping at straws.
  
  I am also acutely aware and sensitive to screen time. My ex ignored me constantly for his phone. As in got home from work, phone. Eating dinner, phone, bed, phone. On a date night, phone. I didn’t know it was possible to hate a device so much.
  
  Like I said, it’s been brought up a couple times. He says he understands, but i dont know if he is just saying that to placate me, if he does get it but doesnt realize hes repeating the behavior, or if he just doesn’t care and this is him. 
  
  What’s your opinion? How do I approach this with him? I feel like if I talk about it again, he’ll be annoyed and tell me we already went over this. 
  
  I can’t go through that again. It’s just pure rejection—the phone is more important than anything else. And I don’t know if this is him coping, or if this is just who he is and it’s coming out finally.
  
  TL;DR: after loss, bf suddenly on his devices a lot more. Feeling ignored and rejected, especially since last relationship I was ignored for a phone.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'something', 'relation': 'will just say', 'condition': 'when I ask what he is looking at'}]"
426,P0427,1s46wbk,"My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I currently live and work about 250 miles away from her, but every weekend I make the drive so we can spend time together. I genuinely don’t mind doing this because I love her and want to make the most of the time we have.
  
  Recently I’ve been feeling quite tired from the long drives and when I try to express that to her, she sees it as me being unfair or making her feel guilty, which is never my intention.
  
  She has been trying to learn to drive for over a year but at the moment she doesn’t have a instructor and she’s not comfortable taking transport to visit me. At the same time, when I do stay home for a weekend to rest or spend time with friends, she can feel upset or jealous, which makes things harder.
  
  I do love her and want to continue being with her, but this is starting to feel unhealthy as the effort is feeling one sided. Is there a solution that may help my issue?
  
  TL;DR
  
  I drive 250 miles every weekend to see my girlfriend, which I don’t mind, but it’s starting to exhaust me. When I express this, she feels hurt or guilty. She doesn’t currently travel to me, and gets upset if I skip a weekend. It’s starting to feel one-sided and unhealthy—what can I do to fix this?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'sees it as me being unfair to', 'condition': 'when I try to express my feeling tired from the long rides'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'can feel upset or jealous', 'condition': 'when I stay home for the weekend'}]"
427,P0428,1s43hum,"I (early 20s M) have been with my girlfriend (early 20s F) for a while, and overall things are really good between us. I genuinely care about her and I always make sure she’s comfortable and enjoying herself.
  The issue is during intimacy — she usually reaches orgasm pretty quickly, and after that she completely loses interest in continuing. When that happens, we just stop, even if I haven’t finished.
  At first I didn’t think much of it, but now it’s starting to feel frustrating and a bit one-sided. I put effort into making sure she enjoys, but I don’t really feel that same effort back when it comes to my side.
  I don’t think she’s doing it intentionally or selfishly — I think she just feels done after she finishes — but it’s affecting me.
  I haven’t had a proper conversation about this yet because I don’t want to make her feel pressured or guilty.
  How do I bring this up in a healthy way?
  And are there ways couples usually handle this kind of mismatch so both partners feel satisfied?
  
  TL;DR My girlfriend orgasms quickly during intimacy and then doesn’t want to continue, leaving me unsatisfied. I care about her pleasure, but it feels one-sided now. How do I bring this up and find a balance so both of us are satisfied?","[{'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'intimacy', 'relation': 'just stop', 'condition': ""when she reaches orgasm even if I haven't finished""}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'the same effort ', 'relation': ""don't really feel back"", 'condition': 'when it comes to my side'}]"
428,P0429,1s42cky,"I (31 F) randomly woke up at 12:45 AM and saw that my boyfriend (33 M) wasn’t in bed next to me. All of the lights are off in the apartment. So I get up, walk out into the living room, and I see him sitting on the corner of the living room couch, awake, but in the dark. That’s odd right?? Something in me just feels off about this. Especially because we don’t have an active love life anymore. In 2025 we were intimate twice :/. I’ve asked him before if everything is okay, and he has told me that everything is fine. I have asked him before if his feelings have changed possibly, and that if so, it’s absolutely fine and we can talk about it because those things happen and he actually got really upset and said that he really loves me and doesn’t want to be asked again whether or not he loves me.
  
  ANYWAYS, seeing him on the couch like this was odd not gunna lie, and I asked “wtf are you doing?” Not in an aggressive tone, just genuinely in a wtf way, because genuinely… wtf 😂 he said he couldn’t sleep and was just sitting in the dark on the couch. I asked again what he was doing though, because it just looked odd, and he flew off the handle and said “I don’t have to explain every detail of my life to you” and stormed back into the bedroom and laid in bed, which genuinely came out of nowhere because I don’t harp on him, we have our independence of each other, and we have good boundaries too. All of this was a bit upsetting to me to be honest because it felt like an eruption/attack out of nowhere on top of sorta weird shit going on?
  
  I’ve known this dude for four years, something just isn’t sitting right with me, but I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking for something to be wrong just because our relationship seems to be off due to lack of intimacy?
  
  TLDR: I woke up in the middle of the night and found my bf awake sitting on the couch in the other room, in the complete dark, and thought it was weird, asked him what he’s doing, and he got mad at me about it.
  
  Would love some insight, approaches on how to talk about this with him, basically I guess any advice for this situation from this community?","[{'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'can talk about', 'condition': 'if his feelings have changed'}]"
429,P0430,1s3z57r,"Hi.
  
  My bf M/22 and I F/20 have been dating for 2 years. We are both south Asian muslims. I was born and raised in the west with my bf being raised back home and coming to Canada for university. For context, his family is more traditional and conservative with my family being a little less so. We have lived very different lives and I am in general less traditional than him.
  
  Sadly his father passed away about a month ago. He has an older sister who is married and has a 1 year old who is also in Canada. His mother having been a housewife her whole life and not having much going on with her outside of taking care of the family can as you might imagine be incredibly lonely. We are both set to graduate next year and having been dating about 2 years now. We are both very serious about this relationship and have had many dreams and conversations about getting married sometime in the next 2-3 years. After the events that have transpired, he (rightfully) feels a deep sense on obligation to his mother. He would like to bring her to Canada and have her life with him permanently it would seem.
  
  I completely understand this. I wouldn’t expect him to abandon his mother I can’t imagine how hard and lonely it would be for her either. At the same time, I’m young and am scared about committing to living with MIL for the rest of my life. As a south Asian child I have long dreamed about the day I’d move out/get married and have our own house. Having a bit more freedom to do as I please etc. the idea of getting married and immediately having to deal with a MIL and permanent as well seems like hell to be frank. Given his mother is more conservative than me I can imagine a lot of tension occurring regarding the classic south Asian cultural values of older generations. This is not to say his mother is rude or anything like that. I’ve only met her 2-3 times and she seemed nice enough. But regardless of how nice she is, I suspect friction would naturally occur if we are living under the same roof.
  
  The thought of not having the freedom to come home when I want without seeming improper, ordering food instead of always cooking, having to constantly be hyper aware of my behaviour in my home as to not make a bad impression sounds extremely draining. I love my bf and really can’t imagine marrying someone else but I don’t know if I can accept this tradeoff. The sacrifice seems too large. At the same time, my Bfs life has changed forever and he can only be more disaffected by this whole thing and I feel for him deeply. I don’t know what to do.
  
  I would be open to his mother living nearby but not in the same quarters. This first few years of marriage I’ve been told are the hardest and having a MIL actively in that dynamic I imagine can only increase that 10 fold. I want my own space and to enjoy newly married life with just my husband. Should I take this as a dealbreaker?
  
  Tldr: My Bfs mother is a recent widow, he wants to move her in with him for the rest of his life. I don’t know if I can commit to that.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'his mother', 'relation': 'feels a deep sense of obligation to', 'condition': 'after the events that have transpired'}, {'e1': 'Friction', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'would naturally occur', 'condition': 'if we are living under the same roof'}]"
430,P0431,1s3ybqi,"I’m really new to this but I really need some advice. I (M18) am struggling to figure out what I need in my life, and I don’t know if my relationship is what I need. It is both our first relationship and we got together at 16 and 17. It’s been all that I know and now that I’ve graduated high school and moved off to college (which we both attend the same university) I’m worried I’m missing out on the part of my life where I should explore who I am. 
  
  I do love her, and she has done a lot of great things for me and we are happy most of the time, but we have broken up a few times in the past year for a multitude of reasons, each time being different (political views, values, etc.). I feel I am often wondering what things would be life if I could go out and meet new people and meet new people, because I don’t feel like she is “the one” like I once did before I grew up and changed along side this relationship. It feels shitty because she is a great person and we are very close, but sometimes I feel trapped or like I’m going through the motions, and when we have broken up we always found our way back to each-other likely due to the familiarity of the relationship. which I know makes me a kind of bad person. All in all I’m worried I’m missing out on the most important time of my life where it’s important to learn more about myself and be independent while also going and meeting new people and I don’t know how to proceed or even go about bringing it up or potentially breaking up. 
  
  TL;DR I (M18) fear I am missing out on important things in life and I feel trapped or like I am only still dating my girlfriend (F19) sometimes because it is what is familiar, and safe.","[{'e1': 'We ', 'e2': 'each other', 'relation': 'always found our way back to', 'condition': 'when we have broken up'}]"
431,P0432,1s3xslz,"Sorry if this is long or hard to follow I’ve only posted one other time on Reddit and I didn’t exactly plan out what this post was going to be.
  
  I am 19M and my girlfriend is also 19F. We’ve only been together just over a month, been talking about 3 months. I’ve never really had an actual relationship before this and I really like her, a lot. 
  
  We are long distance, she’s about an hour away at school and comes home on weekends. Everything is awesome when we’re together. When we’re away from each other I have this irrational fear that she’ll wake up and just not like me anymore. I know it’s a dumb thing. 
  
  It also comes partly from her having more friends and in my eyes just being “cooler” than me. I like that she has friends and everything, I would never tell her to not spend time with friends, but sometimes I just feel like I’m the loser in the relationship. I know part of it is selfishness and jealousy and I’m trying to get over that. I don’t like feeling like this and it’s affecting other parts of my life to the point where when I’m studying for my own school I get distracted from it and just obsess over the thought of her just thinking “yeah I’m done this him”
  
  Another part of my anxiety about my relationship is when I compare it to some of my friends. I know I shouldn’t compare and everyone’s different, but I see other people my age falling asleep on the phone, seeing each other 3-4 times a week, constantly talking and such. We both agreed that we don’t feel the need for all that, which I like I think falling asleep on the phone is dumb. I still just feel like compared to other people we don’t like “look” like we like each other. 
  
  I guess what I really am looking for is whether or not I’m being stupid and this is a regular thing in beginnings of relationships or if I need to actually have a sit down talk with her about how it’s going.
  
  TL;DR
  
  First relationship and having anxiety about how it’s going. Don’t know if I’m doing it right compared to others. Is anxiety like this normal or do I need to figure this out?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'get distracted from', 'condition': 'when I am studying in school'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' me ', 'relation': 'have this irritational fear that she will not like', 'condition': 'when we are away from each other'}]"
432,P0433,1s3wn3p,"Hi! I don’t usually use Reddit so I’m sorry if this isn’t right. Throwaway account!
  
  This is my first serious relationship and it honestly seemed so healthy at the start. we’ve communicated well through small issues and a few larger ones.
  
  But I’ve noticed that the communication when it’s a problem they’ve brought up is so much better compared to when I bring something up. And even if I bring something small up in a friendly, non confrontational way, they still take it as an attack.
  
  For example we were having sex and they could tell I wasn’t that into it, I didn’t realise myself in the moment that I wanted to stop until they checked in. After that they seemed upset, got off me, said they were going to the bathroom and abruptly left.
  
  I felt upset and a little abandoned when I was feeling vulnerable. And I expressed it upset me a little that they’d left without leaving me with any words of comfort. Not even an I love you.
  
  To which they became defensive, repeating “what so i can’t go to the toilet?” and along the lines that im basically being dramatic and it’s a non issue.
  
  i did try to tell them that the going to the toilet wasn‘t an issue, and that I'm not upset with them at all, they can’t read my mind and needs. Which is why I wanted to mention it! But it was like nothing got through to them and i just gave up. 
  It feels like this happens every time, a small issue ends up becoming this huge deal when i just wanted to mention something upset me, talk, hug it out and then move on.
  
  I tried talking to them about their defensive reactions, to which they told me about it stemming from trauma. which I understand, I have issues of my own that I am going to therapy for so I can continue to react in a healthy way to conflict or misunderstandings. But it feels unfair that they can react like this and I just have to minimise or ignore my own feelings because they can’t help it.
  
  How should I bring up any issues In the future? And how do I tell them how much their reaction to me trying to communicate hurts me when they react like I’m attacking them? I feel like im being too focused on this one thing in an otherwise amazing relationship.
  
  Any advice on how to address this or any issues I need to bring up would be really appreciated.
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* : My partner immediately gets defensive when I bring up any negative feeling even if it’s something small and easily solved.","[{'e1': 'The communication', 'e2': ' something ', 'relation': 'is better compared to when I bring up', 'condition': ""when it is problem they've brought up""}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'felt upset', 'condition': 'when I was feeling vulnerable'}]"
433,P0434,1s3wkg9,"Me '19F' and my bf '21M' have been having some issues recently. We have together for a little over a year now. I have been with people before, been physical with people before him. I was his first kiss, his first time. However... there was one girl that he really liked before he even knew me and he has disclosed that he used to masturbate to her. I feel like it's eating me alive almost daily and I need advice on how to deal with it ? I don't want to mess up our relationship by constantly bringing it up but it's constantly on my mind and it annoys him so much when I make comments about it. Even though he used to talk about my past a lot to the point where I would start crying bc I am so ashamed of it. I'm very jealous, clearly, and I don't know how to regulate my emotions about this scenario. 
  
  TL;DR","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'him ', 'relation': 'annoys', 'condition': 'when I make comments about it'}]"
434,P0435,1s3wi87,"I more or less just need to get this off my chest and I know she can see this but it’s nothing she doesn’t already know.
  
  My girlfriend sleeps all day. As in anywhere from 5am-11am to 6pm and then maybe will take a nap after from 7-9. She then stays up all night playing games with her friends. 
  I have talked to her a few times about it since we started dating in dec 2024. Every time I’ve asked her, she’s said that it’s because her friends only ever want to hang out really late.
  
  For me personally, I feel like I don’t get to spend time with her and like she doesn’t make time for me. She constantly tells me that she’s always here for me, but when I need her, she wont get out of bed. Granted, I know I don’t do a great job at being there for her either.
  She lost her two previous jobs from sleeping in and being late. Ive told her that if she loses her current one, I’m leaving. 
  Recently, I’ve become exhausted spending hours trying to get her out of bed. I know I don’t have to and she’s told me I don’t have to (But refer back to the previous statement about her job). I’m tired of making excuses for her to my parents and my friends. They have all said something because it’s physically effecting me and our relationship. I’m really trying to be patient with her but it’s so hard when it takes me 4 hours to get her to wake up and stay up.
  
  I love her more than anything but I’m tired. I know she’s struggling too and I feel awful for having a problem with this. I just miss my girlfriend. This has been the one constant problem we’ve had since we started dating, but recently it’s gotten worse. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I talked to her yesterday and she said she’d try to be better, but then immediately slept all day again and won’t get up (it’s 10:30pm). I have spent so much time as of late crying because I miss the person that I live with. I fully accept that maybe I’m the problem here.
  Again, I just needed to get this off my chest more than anything, but id appreciate any advice yall have. 
  
  to my dearest: I’m sorry i put this on here, but I didn’t know any other way you’d genuinely listen and understand 
  
  tl;dr my girlfriend sleeps all day and I feel like she doesn’t make any time for me","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'bed', 'relation': ""won't get out of"", 'condition': 'when I need her'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'am leaving', 'condition': 'if she loses her current job'}]"
435,P0436,1s3vi77,"I \\\\\\\[26M\\\\\\\] have been with my girlfriend \\\\\\\[33F\\\\\\\] for about 5 months now I’m not gonna lie it’s been kinda rough she has had a lot of anxiety about whether she is “making the right choice” when it comes to being in a relationship with me and talking about marriage she says she loves me but is so scared and nervous and doesn’t know if this is her forever. I absolutely love her when I say I love her I mean that somehow all the things I normally hate doing, when she’s around somehow they aren’t that bad, the feeling I get when she smiles is something I’ve never felt before, the genuine happiness she brings me when things are going well is something that feels impossible to describe. I love everything about her. The problems that I’m having is if we spend too much time together she gets overwhelmed and needs space, her anxiety spikes and she feels like she wants to end things every time she does end things she ends up coming back cuz she misses me. She says she sees my value in a relationship too and what I have too offer plus I care very deeply and I do pretty much everything I can to make her happy and the effort honestly to me doesn’t even feel like I’m doing that much most of the time. She says things like maybe we should just give up or that maybe she’s just meant to be single but sometimes she’s super excited and loves me and is talking about a future with me for a little more context she is from an Asian household and catholic family so her parents pressure her a lot about marriage and having a good future and kids and stuff like that I’m happy to answer questions and give more details when I can I’m really just looking for advise about how to proceed or if it’s really worth it. Also this subreddit wont allow me to share some other details about the relationship that may be relevant so questions are encouraged.
  
  TLDR my girlfriend has a lot of anxiety about if I’m her forever person how do I deal with it?","[{'e1': 'Things ', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'I normally hate doing are not that bad to', 'condition': 'when she is around'}, {'e1': 'The feeling', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'I get is', 'condition': 'when she smiles'}, {'e1': 'the genuine happiness', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'she brings', 'condition': 'when things are going well'}, {'e1': 'she ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets overwhelmed', 'condition': 'when we spend too much time together'}, {'e1': 'i ', 'e2': 'more details', 'relation': 'am happy to give', 'condition': 'when I can'}]"
436,P0437,1s3tga1,"for context, me and my bf have been together about 2 years but have known eachother much longer than that. i’ve always gotten along with his friends, so much to say i would call them my friends. 2 of them are over at our apartment probably 2-4 times a week. his friends can be a bit extreme with some things like their jokes, but it’s not my place to tell them what not to say.
  
  i have bad ptsd from a past relationship with a porn addict, which has caused me to be a bit over anxious at times. my current bf had a stupid moment and broke my trust on stuff dealing with my past trauma so i definitely had moments of being paranoid with him and needing a lot of reassurance. him and his friends have a boys groupchat, and today i saw them making some comments about me that hurt my feelings. (i was next to him when they were texting about it and caught the corner of my eye when i saw i was mentioned, so then i just asked to see his phone)
  
  this was the convo:
  
  friend 1: im in a happy relationship
  
  my bf: ur girl forced you to say that dont lie
  
  friend 1: buddy at least my gf isn’t watching my every move like a hawk
  
  friend 2: yeah his gf isn’t as quite psychotic as yours
  
  this really hurt my feelings as i try not to be overbearing. i let him do whatever he wants, encourage him to go on trips with friends, keep my mouth shut on a lot of things. yes i’ve had moments of anxiety but for good reason, which im sure they don’t know what he did.
  
  when i brought it up to my bf he played it off as “it’s the boys chat it’s not for our gfs to see. they were just joking, they make dumb jokes about each others gfs all the time. if i defended you they would’ve just gotten meaner. i promise its harmless they all like you”. idk what to think. i don’t know if im being dramatic by being upset. i don’t talk shit with my friends behind his back? if my friends said something i would defend him. i feel weird about his friends now, like they are fake around me or something.
  
  he made me feel like i am turning it into something bigger than it should be. i don’t wanna do that, i don’t know what to think
  
  tl;dr: boyfriends friends saying rude things about me in groupchat but bf says its just joking and how all guys are, that i shouldn’t be upset.","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'joke', 'relation': 'would have gotten meaner with their', 'condition': 'if I had defended you'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'would defend ', 'condition': 'if my friends said something about him'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'boys chats', 'relation': 'played it off as', 'condition': 'when I brought it up'}]"
437,P0438,1s3tbda,"Me 18F and my boyfriend 18M have been talking/ together for awhile. But what I keep noticing is that he’s literally always out with his friends. Going who knows where, they will like hang out then go to random towns doing God knows what boys do when they hang out. It honestly kinda makes me upset because he never will tell me what he’s doing and where he’s going. So who knows if he’s going on two mans or what not. And when I go out and do things with my friends like we went to a rave a couple of weeks ago ago he complained about it. About how he doesn’t like a girl that goes out a lot and goes to oh so many functions. Mind you that was the first kinda thing like that, that I went to. Idk it just makes me frustrated that he never really tells me what he’s doing where he’s going etc. and some nights he’ll stay out till like 2-3 am idk maybe I’m overreacting 
  
  TL;DR I’m frustrated about my boyfriend always going out and never telling me where and what he’s doing yet when I go out with my friends it’s a big deal","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'complained about ', 'condition': 'when I go out and do things with my friends'}]"
438,P0439,1s3t9pd,"I 20M have an amazing girlfriend 21F. She is so sweet and caring 90% of the time. Recently she has been stressed with school and other things. As a result, she has been lashing out at me. Refuses to say I love you, doesn’t text me back for hours. The other 90% of the time she is her normal self. I realize that the 10% isn’t who she really is. This goes away whenever something isn’t stressing her out. However, the minute something bad happens in her life she starts it all over again. She’ll even confirm she isn’t mad at me. How should I approach her about this?
  
  TLDR gf is mean when stressed but no other times","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'starts it all over again', 'condition': 'the minute something bad happens'}, {'e1': 'The lashing out ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'on me goes away', 'condition': ""when something isn't stressing her""}]"
439,P0440,1s3s5ka,"I 23F am not sure if it’s valid to break up with my partner 23M. We’ve been together 1.5 yrs and half of that relationship has been long distance. He is a wonderful boyfriend and very thoughtful in some ways, but he is very focused on his work and getting his work certificate (I completely support him in this). In this time, I’ve had to ask him to consider me in several different ways. In chronological order it goes: 
  
  \- I’ve had to ask him to not rush me out of the house after sleep overs in the morning so he could go to the gym with his friend
  
  \- to text me and communicate consistently with me ie stop disappearing for hours/days at a time
  
  \- not put my car outside of his gated community because “his car is nicer”
  
  \- had to tell him it upset me that he was the only friend and person in my life that didn’t ask how I was or if I needed anything after my severe back injury
  
  \- he didn’t ask me how my family was during a mass murder in my home country until I mentioned his bestfriend wife had
  
  There are some other things, but he’s worked on them all every time I brought it up. But now, 
  
  \- he never makes time to play video games together anymore or study on call even if he does it with his friends 
  
  \- he doesn’t plan trips or visits in advance but will make plans months in advance with his friends and brother
  
  \- will make plans with his brother in friends, but when I visit he doesn’t initiate or set up any dates
  
  \- this week I’m staying home for one week and he never gave me his availability. I set every plan up. One day after a long hang out, I gave the option to have a sleepover and he chose not to. 
  
  We see each other every few months and he won’t see me for at least 3 more when I leave. 
  
  Is this something to break up over?
  
  TLDR: I’ve had to ask my partner to consider me many times. I believe he is wonderful and he tries very hard, especially to change his behavior if I am upset. But having to ask him to do those things makes me feel bad.","[{'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'my family ', 'relation': 'did not ask how was', 'condition': 'until I mentioned his bestfriend wife had'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'dates', 'relation': ""doesn't initiate"", 'condition': 'when I visit'}]"
440,P0441,1s3s2tj,"I (F21) have busy schedule. I see my friends a lot, I work and I'm a full time student so I have a full life on my own.
  
  I have been with my bf (M22) for over a year. We clicked fast, we have a special bond and we are best friends. 
  
  At first, I was already really obsessed with him. I thought I felt like this because of the honeymoon phase but it's been over a year and I still think about him everyday and pretty much all the time.
  
  When I'm in class I can't focus because I'm thinking about him. Most of the time, I can't enjoy my time with friends or even my alone time because I wish I was with him instead. I used to love these moments but my relationship changed everything for me. I catch myself checking my phone every minute when we aren't together to check if he texted me.
  
  For context, he also has his own life (school, job, classmates). We see each other about 4 times a week since we leave near each other. Also, I already know he isn't perfect, we have gotten into fights a few times since we have been together but we always deal with them really well.
  
  What can I do to stop being so obsessed with him?
  
  TL;DR: I can't stop thinking about my bf and it has a negative impact on my life, what should I do?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': ""can't focus because I am thinking of"", 'condition': 'when I am in class'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'my phone ', 'relation': 'catch myself every minute checking ', 'condition': 'when we are not together '}]"
441,P0442,1s3p0fy,"TL;DR - after breaking up my ex and dad stayed in contact. after finding out my ex has been saying horrible things about me im thinking of telling my dad about it and asking him to stop talking to my ex.
  
  hello! my predicament started around 2 months ago when said ex (19m) and I (18f) went our separate ways. (it was mutual, or so i thought) my dad and him were cordial, talking every once in awhile over the phone or when he came to my house.
  
  after we ended, my dad asked if it was okay that he keep texting him in the event my ex needed help. the reason being that my dad sold my ex his old car, so he knows the ins and outs and how to fix certain things on it. which i totally understood and was okay with. over the past two months i’ve heard around that my ex has been calling me all sorts of different derogatory names, none of which i am. while he says all of this about me he continues to drop hints to me that he wants to talk; snapping me, sending me notifications to my instagram messages etc.
  
  i think my whole issue is that he continues to contact my dad and attempts to contact me knowing what he has said about me. i want to tell my dad what he has been saying but i don’t want to ruin the relationship (if you want to call it that) that they have. but i feel that it’s unfair of my ex to contact my dad after saying such things about his daughter, which i know my dad would not be happy about.
  
  Im just trying to find out if this would be okay? my dad always reiterates to me to be honest with him about this kind of relationship stuff. and i know he wouldnt be happy about what my ex has been saying. but i feel guilty going back on my original word (saying he could talk to him)","[{'e1': 'My dad', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'talked every once in a while with', 'condition': 'when he came to my house'}]"
442,P0443,1s3nmge,"my bf (21M) and i (21F) have been together for almost 5 years. the other day he took a really cute photo of me and our cat. while he was at work i asked him if he could send the photo to me when he had the chance, but he was busy ofc so i decided to go on his ipad and just send myself the photo. for context i have never been the type of go through a boyfriends messages or devices or whatever so i had no intention of looking for something other than my photo. i found the photo of my cat and i, but a photo of another girl’s selfie caught my attention. i clicked on this photo and it was a screen shot of another girls instagram story. we can call her tory.
  
  for more context, tory and my bf were friends in highschool. when we were in highschool i voiced how weird i thought she was because she was constantly crossing boundaries, for example one time she asked my bf to take her to a cat cafe, just them two. i’ve never taken this as her liking my bf however. i’ve witnessed her be handsy and flirt with numerous other men in known relationships so i don’t think she has ever had a crush on my bf i think this is just her personality. i also have my own personal insecurities about her bc she is very beautiful. my bf distanced himself from this friendship because of the fact that i didn’t like her. this included gradually unfollowing her on social media platforms, not hanging out with her in person, and no longer texting her. all communication stopped when we were freshman in college. to make this clear i never asked him to stop being friends at her or hinted at this, i was very clear from the beginning that i understand he was friends with her before we were together and they can remain friends, i just don’t like her as a person because she is very disrespectful to literally every romantic relationship around her and she is known for it.
  
  anyways, i find the screenshot of tory’s instagram photo in his camera roll. i immediately take a picture of this and send it to him asking why he has this photo. he texts me back saying that his friend asked for a photo of her so he went on her instagram to send him a photo. he followed that up with, let me text (friends same) to show u proof, i understand this is a bad look. i immediately believe him and don’t think anything of it until he comes home from work early and asks to talk. he tells me that what he told me was a lie and that it was him looking at her instagram. he said her profile popped up on his instagram and he was curious about her so he went through her story and said screenshotting her story was an accident. he said that he did nothing with the photo and looked at her instagram out of curiosity and don’t know he he did it. the reason i feel so upset is because he lied to me immediately at first. i asked to see his phone (for the first time) where i saw that he texted his friend asking to play along with this scenario he made up. he then texted the same friend saying wtf am i doing, and proceeded to explain the situation telling the friend that he will tell me the truth.
  
  i’m just so baffled that he lied to me easily and even asked his friend to lie for him. i’m so hurt by this, but i am also very sensitive. we have very clear boundaries and he acknowledges that he crossed a boundary. am i overreacting? is this weird? i honestly don’t think it would be weird if he was curious of what she was up to, but he knows how i feel about her so why her out of all people. and why lie? the lying is what makes this feel so awful because i have never once even considered that he would lie. he says he has never had feelings for her or are interested in other women, but will i be able to regain his trust? ik i might sound so silly and stupid but this is my first relationship and he is my first everything so i’m very new to this. is this breakup worthy?
  
  TLDR: photo of another girl “accidentally” in my bf’s camera roll who he knows i dislike","[{'e1': 'i', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'asked if he could send the photo to', 'condition': 'when he had the chance'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': ""don't think anything of"", 'condition': 'until he comes home from work and says lets talk'}]"
443,P0444,1s3m96r,"I’m 18F ( 19 in a few months) and I’m going to finish my board exams soon, after which I’m planning to appear for entrance based exams I’ve applied for. The only problem is that my dad is not agreeing to let me move out of state, and it’s making me feel like my efforts and aspirations are going to be useless. His concerns include safety, living conditions, and that “I’m too young.” 
  
  Now, the issue isn’t just that I want to move to another city for college, but also about my personal freedom. I live in a town with little (actually none) entertainment or exposure opportunities, and I hardly meet my friends outside of school maybe once or twice a year for a couple of hours. Even that requires planning, asking my parents for transport, and a lot of hassle. I stay isolated at home as I’m an only child and mostly remain in my room, which I’ve noticed has hampered my communication skills, my ability to make new friends, and my ability to blend in. I often feel depressed and alone.
  
  He has mentioned that he would consent to me moving abroad, but that’s too much pressure on me right now, since I would need to prepare for English proficiency exams, research colleges, find ones with suitable deadlines, and go through a lot of processes that I don’t have the time or mental readiness for at the moment.
  
  TL;DR how do i manage to convince my dad to let me move for college, i feel depressed in my hometown.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'entrance based exams', 'relation': 'am planning to appear for', 'condition': 'after I finish my board exams'}]"
444,P0445,1s3kvjm,"Hi everyone me (M30) and she (F35), I really need some outside perspective because I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted right now.
  
  I’m currently in a serious relationship, and we were planning to get married this December. Recently, I found out my girlfriend is about 5 weeks pregnant with my child and now 12 week pregnant( we pre-planned it for the baby). That alone already brought a lot of pressure and responsibility, but things have become much more complicated.
  
  The main issue is trust.
  
  From early on, I told her that the two things I really need in a relationship are:
  
  Honesty / transparency
  
  Not being easily pushed away (like being told to just go back to my place when things get hard)
  
  Recently, I started noticing inconsistencies in her stories about her past. I made it very clear that I can accept her past, even if it’s uncomfortable, as long as she’s honest with me. I’ve been open about my own past as well.
  
  However, I caught her in multiple situations where:
  
  She initially denied things (like bringing a guy to her apartment before)
  
  Then later admitted it after pressure
  
  And then denied other things again
  
  There’s one specific situation involving a guy (let’s call him Daniel) where I strongly believe she was not being truthful. After a lot of tension and confrontation, she eventually admitted things, but only after denying repeatedly.
  
  This cycle really damaged my trust.
  
  At the same time, I realize I also didn’t handle everything perfectly. I kept pushing for answers, brought things up repeatedly, and at some point it probably felt like interrogation from her side. I also asked for more transparency (even things like access to devices), which led to arguments about privacy.
  
  Things escalated badly one night:
  
  We both got overwhelmed
  
  She said maybe we should break up
  
  She even mentioned wanting to terminate the pregnancy because she felt like the baby was the only thing holding us together
  
  That completely broke me. I cried a lot and ended up begging her not to leave.
  
  After that, things calmed down a bit. She apologized multiple times, and we’re not actively fighting now, but everything feels fragile.
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* :; Right now I’m stuck between:
  
  Wanting to trust her and move forward, especially with a baby involved
  
  Feeling like the foundation (trust) is not stable enough for marriage
  
  Realizing that both of us might be handling conflict in unhealthy ways (me pushing, her shutting down / denying)
  
  I also don’t know how to properly approach:
  
  Rebuilding trust without becoming controlling
  
  Respecting her privacy while still needing honesty
  
  Deciding whether we should postpone marriage or continue as planned
  
  Handling the pregnancy in a calm and responsible way
  
  I genuinely care about her and want this to work, but I’m scared that if we ignore these issues, things will get worse in the future.
  
  I’m not looking for judgment — I know I made mistakes too. I just want honest advice:
  
  Is this something that can realistically be rebuilt?
  
  How do you rebuild trust after repeated dishonesty?
  
  Should we slow things down (like postponing marriage)?
  
  How do I stop myself from becoming controlling when I feel insecure?
  
  Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this. 
  
  FYI: I'm ended up with crying and hold her back, and now she apologized to me and back to normal. Anyway I need you guys advice and POV","[{'e1': 'Things ', 'e2': 'the future', 'relation': 'will get worse in', 'condition': 'if we ignore these issues'}]"
445,P0446,1s3kp9n,"My gf (F23) and I (M23) we started 15 months ago. 
  
  We were in the talking stage for 2 years with nothing moving forward, some other guy from her past came, she went out w him a couple of times then i told her to go ahead with it.. I don't know what we were then.. but I got so scared and panicked that she would go to his home when he called.. she didn't go and blocked him.. i asked her out then and there out of fear of losing her but she replied we can be open, but she won't get into any other guys.. i didn't understand this but it shattered me. Then it got revealed that it's about our physical appearance, we don't have a future and she wants us to be a secret forever till we last.. and I'm the person who dates to marry. Old fashioned.
  
  She lied to me about having a crush on my bestfriend.
  
  Kept some number related to her and her ex as her atm card pin after we got together saying she was just keeping an unforgettable number as pin.
  
  She had dreams of having sex with other guy friends of hers
  
  She has a crush on her boss
  
  She went to Goa and kept all the guys who flirt with her on her close friends list to post pictures of her in sexy outfits.
  
  She would sit behind a guy friend on his bike multiple times.
  
  She gave reasons for everything.. 
  
  Felt my trust broken multiple times.
  
  Im not enough
  
  Feel inferior
  
  Insecure
  
  Small person
  
  All this while we are a secret. Because I'm fat and she's tiny and she's ashamed of that.
  
  This was decided by her.
  
  That's the reason we don't have a future. Can't marry.
  
  And she didn't even share abt us to her close friends.
  
  It's been 15 months
  
  it's causing so much issues between us, I feel so jealous of other guys becuz of this and tried explaining her it's because I've been kept a secret by yu.
  
  I've told her all the issues it's causing, she told she doesn't wanna tell about us now when people our age are finding permanent partners in their life..
  
  I've broken up many many times and gotten back.. she calls me back and I go like the idiot I am..
  
  it feels I've finally broken the loop, the pattern and broke up, but it's just been a day and we've had fights for as long as 2 weeks and gotten back.. 
  
  I have a feeling this one's different but I never know.
  
  should I despise her or appreciate her for loving someone like me?
  
  God help me
  
  Reddit, help me.
  
  \\\*\\\*TL;DR;\\\*\\\* : I've been kept a secret, got trust broken, no future for us, but she loves and doesn't wanna let go.","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'his home', 'relation': 'would go to', 'condition': 'when he called'}]"
446,P0447,1s3j5fi,"So me and my girlfriend are in a relationship for three years but haven't even met once the times I had the chances , circumstances were not with us but I'll not rant about that I'll come the main issue Right now.. so long story short she is my brother in law's cousin's daughter so there is some tense family situation going on. The thing is her family doesn't like my sister and my mother cause of some drama that happened during her wedding 3 years ago and as I know my sister she's also not very docile and sweet mouthed person and also does not like them which makes the situation even worse. She doesn't like my girlfriend and said some mean things to her about her,her mom, and her brother to which my gf was extremely hurt but still remained silent cause of me.Tge things in her in-laws house are not getting any better and both parties don't like them , my sister fights with my brother in law over his family and feels like she is neglected even if he for once does something more for his sister or father, she wants that he should keep her on his priority at all times and as I am from India and some things don't change so if the bride is very bold from the beginning it causes complications and changes the way she is recieved in the house and as my mother was very disrespectful towards my brother in law's family during the wedding my sister is also seen under the same light and she doesn't do much for getting out from it.My girlfriend is sure that her mother would not approve of our relationship and she doesn't want to give me any false hopes and says she wants to break-up cause it's destroying us emotionally but I can't lose her. I know we're young and many people will just ball their eyes and think we'll find someone else but believe me when I say this, I'll not and people who are around me will know why. I don't know how to explain it to her she shuts off in times like these and doesn't pick up my calls and texting just makes the matters worse the small bickering just spirals down to this one cause and now it's becoming a hassle to keep my sanity, I can't lose her and i can't sacrifice my career also cause that's what is happening with me right now... I'm extremely confused,i decided to confront my sister about her behaviour towards her in laws and my gf but I don't know how to approach the topic. I'll meet my sister around the end of April or start of May... please give some advice anything would help..
  
  tl;dr : I need some advice to keep my relationship going I have to talk to my sister regarding my girlfriend and her family and get her approval otherwise I'll lose her","[{'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'complications', 'relation': 'causes', 'condition': 'if the bride is very bold'}]"
447,P0448,1s3j1v5,"\[23F\] Me and my boyfriend \[25M\] started dating about 3 years ago. We have known each other for about 5 years as we met online on discord.
  
  When we first started dating he would come visit me at my university every weekend where we would have sex multiple times a day up until he had to leave. After about 7 months he decided to move in with me and we would have sex a maybe like 5-10 times a week. At this point in time he was working as an Amazon driver and we were both much skinnier and “fitter” than where we are now.
  
  He decided to get a new job as a CDL truck driver about a month after he moved in so that he can make much more money. He drives locally but he also delivers the shipments to the customer. Before he started he warned me that he would be very tired with this new job so he would need time to adjust to it.
  
  After he got this new job we were starting to have sex less often. First it was once a week, then once every 2 weeks, then once a month, then once every 2 months and now we haven’t had sex for about 4 months.
  
  There has been a lot of changes since we first started dating, I have gained a lot of weight, he has also gained weight, we have moved a lot, we have delt with less than optimal situations, etc.
  
  We cuddle/hug/kiss every single day and for at least a few hours everyday. He can’t go to sleep without me combing his hair and he does take issue if we don’t cuddle or if i don’t go to bed with him.
  
  Not sure if this matters but we don’t really have arguments like when we first started dating anymore. We may have disagreements but they very easily get resolved.
  
  I have brought up this of not having issue many times within the past 2 years. He has provided many reasons as to why he doesn’t want to have sex: his job is very physically demanding, he is always tired, he has gained weight so it’s harder for him to have sex, he has said that I have gained weight and that is also a “problem” (he said this one time in the car while arguing and has backtracked that statement; however that may or may not be his real feelings), he said me begging for sex doesn’t make him want to have sex, he is “depressed”, etc, etc.
  
  He has been going to therapy every Friday because he said he was depressed. I am not sure if he is actually depressed because he has only ever mentioned it whenever we get in a really bad argument about something- but he says he is so idk. I am also not sure if he is actually trying to make progress in therapy or he is just going to therapy to check a box (we got into a bad argument one time, he said he was depressed and i told him the only way ill stay is if he goes to therapy).
  
  I’ve told him before that we should go to the gym so we can lose weight and gain muscle. He agreed but never shows any initiative to go to the gym..
  
  I will say he isn’t the only one at fault here. I have gained weight and because of that it is less comfortable for me to have sex- so I have been feeling less horny in recent history and less likely to actually initiate sex but my bf NEVER initiates sex. When before he got that job he did but for the past 2 years 98% of the time we have sex it’s because i ask/initiate.
  
  Sorry for the long post. I don’t know what to do. I love my bf a lot but I also like having sex. Normally I have a very high libido. In an effort to lose weight i’m starting a glp soon which hopefully make it more easier to have sex- but I am worried that when I start losing weight and I go back to a regular size, my sex drive and his sex drive won’t match and we’ll just break up.
  
  What should i do?
  
  TL;DR: \[23F\] Me and bf \[25M\] used to have sex a lot. After about a year in we only have sex like once a month. It been 3 years now and we haven’t had sex for 4 months and this is starting to become a very big problem for me.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'issues', 'relation': 'does take', 'condition': ""if we don't cuddle or go to bed with him ""}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'depression', 'relation': 'has only ever mentioned that he is facing', 'condition': 'when we get into arguements'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'will stay', 'condition': 'if he goes to therapy'}, {'e1': 'My sex drive', 'e2': 'his sex drive', 'relation': ""won't match with"", 'condition': 'when I start loosing weight'}]"
448,P0449,1s3j183,"I (23F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for two years. We met at work and the whole way our relationship started was from me making him this playlist of songs to listen to and us bonding over music. 
  
  Onto the problem, for the entirety of our relationship after the initial start he never tries anything I recommend to
  
  him. I told him I thought he would like anime and gave him a list of shows to watch and he refused to until he was with some buddies one day and then came home raving about anime. I’ll make him playlists the way I did when we first started dating and he doesn’t listen to any of them (he again just sticks to his friend’s playlists). I gifted him a book where the main character reminded me of him about a year ago and I’ve accepted that he wont read it. And just a bunch of other small things like that. 
  
  Today my breaking point came when he got a haircut. I have a family friend who is a barber, some of our mutual friends go to him , my brothers go to him and he gives great haircuts. My boyfriend went to this barber one time and said he liked his hair so I assumed he would go back. He went to three different barbers after that and hated his haircut each time. A couple months later it’s time for him to get a haircut again so I suggest my family friend again and he ends up going to some random barbershop and hating his haircut. I can’t shake the feeling that she only reason he won’t go to the barber that gave him a haircut that he likes is because I suggested it. Besides from this he is a great boyfriend. He is extremely sweet and thoughtful,loyal , makes me feel beautiful and is just an all around cool and relaxed guy. Am I overreacting and taking his refusal to listen to my recommendations too personally or would anyone else be hurt by this behavior? 
  
  tl;dr my boyfriend won’t take any of my suggestions or recommendations","[{'e1': 'my breaking point', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'came', 'condition': 'when he got a haircut'}]"
449,P0450,1s3ifd1,"TL;DR:
  
  My boyfriend and I have been together 2+ years, but he’s become distant, dismissive, and inattentive. He barely talks to me, invalidates my feelings, avoids communication by accusing me of “fighting,” and puts in no romantic effort. I feel hurt, taken for granted, and emotionally exhausted, even though I still love him. What should I do?
  
  A lil rant to get things off my chest, we been together a lil over 2 years and my bf is a completely different person now. We used to be really close intellectually and emotionally but recently his behavior is becoming borderline a\*\*\*holish to me. He barely replies talk to me only 5 or 10 mins in the whole day that too when I tell him I miss him.
  
  Today he sorta made fun of me for being worried for because he told he'd been feeling sad and depressed lately which hurt me so much and what a awful thing to do. He's stopped taking me seriously and anytime I try to communicate with him on any issue he just says I'm fighting or yelling even when I'm taking normally. 
  
  I didn't have any anger issues nor do I yell at him ever but he just needs to skip any conversation with me this way I feel like. when we talk on video calls or texts he's consistently distracted by other things checking his emails etc or just leaves the chat window while I'm talking to him and replies hours later. in 24 hours in a day we barely been talking even 15 mins.
  
  He's not making me feel desired , I'm the one who's to start anything romantic, while he barely says he wants to kiss me. I feel like I'm putting in effort only for him to take me for granted and it hurts so much because I love him deeply. 
  
  I don't know what to do if I talk to him he'll just say I'm fighting but he's been behaving in such a selfish stupid way towards me. I love him but I feel like ignoring him nowadays I've no expectations left from him . 
  
  What should I do?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'barely replies/talk to ', 'condition': 'when I tell him I miss him'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'says I am fighting with', 'condition': 'when I am talking normally'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'is consistently distracted', 'condition': 'when we talk on video calls or texts'}]"
450,P0451,1s3fyyd,"I’m 36M, she’s 31F.
  
  We met on Tinder. She’s not from my country but had a planned trip. At first I wasn’t interested. I was so tired of dating and couldn’t find anyone I actually had a connection with + the fact she had a 13 year old daughter, that was a no go for me.
  
  But she was really sweet and understood me in a way no one else did, so I let it slide and we kept talking. It got intense fast, we were on webcam almost all the time. After about 3 months we were basically in a long distance relationship, which I never imagined.
  
  Then she came here for 3 months. I picked her up at the airport and she was exactly like online, even better in person. The relationship felt great, like we were perfect for each other.
  
  The problem was everything around it.
  
  My family and friends taught she wasn’t the right person for me. I ignored it because I loved her like I never loved anyone.
  
  She decided to stay and try to become legal so she could bring her daughter. I was ok with it, even knowing I’d have to sacrifice my peace, finances and routine.
  
  The first 5 months were rough. She had no job and I paid most of the bills while she was supposed to study, but after a month she gave up. I told her if she didn’t want to study she had to work, I couldn’t support everything if she was basically on vacation. Eventually she got a low salary job in her field, which helped.
  
  At home, just us, everything was amazing. Best relationship I’ve had.
  
  But with my friends it would turn into drama, awkward moments, and sometimes comments from her that felt disrespectful. That made my friends more against it and started affecting me too.
  
  Then this year she decided she was bringing her daughter in about 4 months, even without papers or stability. I understand she misses her (they’ve been apart over a year), but I felt it would create more problems.
  
  I tried to explain we needed more time, papers, a better job, a stable base. She didn’t want to wait. It had to be now.
  
  So even though I loved her, I ended things. My family and friends supported it, so I felt I was doing the right thing.
  
  But a month later I realized my fear of instability and need to control everything might have made me lose the woman I loved the most and the best connection I’ve ever had.
  
  I reached out, told her I made a mistake, that I loved her and was willing to step up, help her bring her daughter and not let anyone interfere.
  
  She said she loved me and that I was her family, but she couldn’t do it again. She was heartbroken and blocked me.
  
  Now it’s been 2 months and I still don’t want to give up.
  
  I know it would be hard, I know everyone will say I’m wrong, but I feel like it might be worth it just to be with her.
  
  Should I give up or keep trying to get her back?
  
  TL;DR:
  
  I broke up with a woman I loved because of fear of instability (her having a child, no papers, pressure from family/friends). Now I regret it, tried to get her back but she refused and blocked me. It’s been 2 months and I still want to try. Should I move on or keep trying?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'had to work', 'condition': ""if she didn't want to study""}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'everything', 'relation': ""couldn't suppport"", 'condition': 'if she was basically on vacation'}]"
451,P0452,1s3ccjo,"I am not sure if this is the right place to put this, but I need an outside perspective. I (22F) have been in a relationship with my BF (24M) for almost 3 years. In the beginning it was wonderful, we both had our own things we were dealing with, but he was kind and thoughtful. A year and a half in we moved in together, and that is when everything went downhill. I cooked, cleaned, organized and worked full time. We'd fight about it and it just would improve, but never for long. 4 months ago my BF ended up in the hospital for his mental health and was diagnosed with ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Personality Disorder, and Bipolar 1. Ever since he has gotten out of the hospital, he has not had a job and I have been solely supporting us on top of all of the other things around the house. I've tried helping him get help. He'll forget things constantly, and blow up at me anytime I bring up things he needs to do. Everyday is another dumpsterfire of new problems he didn't address. When I bring these up, he always brings up his mental health as the reasons for his behavior and lack of motivation. I understand that what he is diagnosed with is debilitating, and he needs extra support, but my mental health is in the garbage. I truly love him, but I do not feel anything anymore. Everytime I feel any love, it is crushed by another fight, another bill overdue. I try so hard to empathize when he is upset on how unfair it is that he has to be diagnosed with these.. But I can't. It's just a hollow feeling. I've tried getting him into programs, calendars, reminders, job support, but it all amounts to nothing because the moment I give him help, he does nothing with it. Our relationship has turned into a caretaker role. We do not go on dates, be romantic, and our sex life is non-existent. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and held back from the things I want to do in life. I'm stuck in this echo chamber that this is okay. Is this relationship salvageable, if so how? I love him so much, but I need someone to tell me the truth that isn't involved with our lives. Any input would be great. Thank you. 
  
  TL;DR: My BF diagnosed with ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Personality Disorder, and Bipolar leaves me to do everything. I feel empty. Is this relationship salvageable, if so how?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'blows up at', 'condition': 'anytime I bring up things he needs to do'}, {'e1': 'He ', 'e2': 'his mental health ', 'relation': 'always brings up ', 'condition': ""when i bring up problems he didn't address""}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'try so hard to empathize', 'condition': 'when he is upset on how unfair it is to be diagnosed with these'}]"
452,P0453,1s346qv,"I (F27) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (M30). I’ve always had a history of being insecure and also deal with major depressive disorder. The last couple of months has really taken a hit on me. I’ve always realized my self esteem isn’t so low when Im single but the moment I’m in a relationship it tanks down to hell. We’ve been dating little over a year and I feel so bad for how much he has dealt with my emotional rollercoaster. To simply put it, I hate everything about myself and I sometimes really question the sanity of my bf for dating someone like me. I don’t have a driver’s license, 60k in student loan debt for a music degree, barely average in looks, doing part time in low paying caregiving job, and restarting my school path to shift into nursing. I’m not good at cooking, it’s hard for me to take action to the goals I want to achieve. A big issue is that I have decision fatigue and this overwhelming inaction results in me being lazy (and/or just not taking ownership of not walking the talk) I know my flaws painfully well. 
  
  Externally, he says I’m overcritical. But I really don’t see the beauty in myself and I find myself even more self conscious because my bf is extremely handsome, tall, and has an even better personality. I really want to make this relationship work. And I’m so tired of being my pessimistic, catastrophic self. Everyone says you got to work on yourself. I really do want to put in the work before i end up crumbling this relationship with my crippling depression. But how? What does putting the work look like or even mean? How does one get confident and not hate themselves every single day? I’ve started therapy 1.5 months ago and I know it’ll be a long journey to undo 2 decades of self hate. I’d love some insight how to reframe my self image and self worth. 
  
  TL;DR, in a happy relationship and want to really make it work. Need help reframing self worth and quieting daily insecurities. I don’t want my insecurities to ruin my relationship","[{'e1': 'My self-esteem', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': ""isn't so low"", 'condition': 'when I am single'}, {'e1': 'my self esteem', 'e2': 'hell', 'relation': 'tanks down to', 'condition': 'when I am in a relationship'}]"
453,P0454,1s335j5,"\*\*For context, we're sharing this one class, where there's a project that's worth 30% of our grade. I've barely started, he's just finishing up, and it's due in two days.\*\*
  
  I've been feeling really weird lately, just lots of nausea and dizziness, difficulty breathing, etc. It hasn't been great. I think it's mostly been lack of sleep and stress due to school, as the semester is coming to an end, and I've been averaging like \~4h of sleep a night.
  
  Either way, today was a really bad day. I'm currently on that time of month, and on top of cramps, I had a stomach ache all day, and I hadn't eaten anything at all. Then during my evening class I started getting blurry vision. After that I just felt so dizzy. My class ended, and I just felt so sick. My class was on the 3rd floor, so we were going to go to the basement where there's a comfy couch. I'd been looking forward to it my whole class because, again, I just felt absolutely horrible. It ended up being closed. So we went to the fourth floor, where there was another one, and it was taken. We ended up going back to first, where there was a room with a bunch of small couches. At this point, I felt just awful - stomach ache, dizzy, nauseous, and now my chest hurt from all of the walking. I laid down on one couch, he went on another and was working on his assignment. 
  
  I'd like to think that I was clearly not okay, and he already knew that I hadn't been doing well. Long story short, I just felt so hurt that he didn't realize that in that moment I just really wanted his comfort. He almost completely ignored me the whole time, working on his assignment. And maybe I'm wrong for this but I just don't feel seen. *Most* of the time I'm really good at communicating my feelings; sometimes it's harder to though. Today was one of those days. I understand the pressure of the assignment. But he is pretty much done. We barely have any classes tomorrow, so there would have been time for him to get it done then.
  
  But, I do know that I can't expect him to read my mind. I'm a big believer in communication. I guess my post is mostly asking, being in my situation, how do you get yourself to communicate things out? 
  
  note: We did talk about it. I still feel hurt, but I know that if I'd told him what I needed he would stop everything. I feel so bad for being hurt knowing I could've prevented this if I'd talked to him about it, and I want to avoid this in the future.
  
  
  
  TL;DR - it was a day where i really needed my boyfriend, and he was absent, but I also didn't communicate how I was feeling. Basically just asking how people deal with not feeling seen, when they want to feel seen, and how to communicate feelings even when you don't want to.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'everything', 'relation': 'would stop', 'condition': 'if I had told him what I needed'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'could have prevented feeling hurt by', 'condition': 'if I had talked to him about it'}]"
454,P0455,1s2zlqk,"I am 25 and I have not made any true friends in my entire adult life. A big part of my problem is that over-prioritized making good grades while I was in college.
  
  Now as a college graduate, I have been putting myself in situations where I can meet people, but they all are mostly older than me. I am struggling to meet people my age to socialize with and when I do meet them I just don’t click with them.
  
  I live in a small town of around 20,000 people, but moving to a bigger city is just not an option for me right now.
  
  I am really trying to keep a positive mindset about all of this, but I am starting to succumb to feelings of hopelessness. I really feel like it is too late for me to blossom socially. Am I just being too negative about myself? I really need dire or advice from someone.
  
  TL;DR: I spent too much time in college on studies and did not adequately socialize. Now as a mid-20s, I have not been able to make friends. I am starting to give up and want to know if there is any hope.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': ""don't click with"", 'condition': 'when I do meet people'}]"
455,P0456,1s2vm2s,"Im considering ending things with someone who is genuinely one of the best people I’ve been with. Loving, stable, emotionally secure, playful, kind, aligned on values.
  
  The reason Im considering this is that ultimately I didn’t feel we were intellectually compatible. She’s warm and caring and we have playful humour, but I that sharpness or wittiness / back-and-forth volley, and conversations that challenge / surprise me aren’t really there. I’ve found myself getting a bit bored in conversations/texting, sometimes low browing comments and generally feeling less spark since the last few months
  
  I’m not sure what to do. Is intellectual compatibility a legitimate dealbreaker, or am I being an idiot and chasing something that’s just naturally less novelty and limerence after 2 years dressed up as a real need? She is open to talking about ideas and conversations but I just feel sometimes things lack depth.
  
  I haven’t met anyone better. I’m not leaving her for someone wittier. I’m leaving her for an idea of someone who doesn’t exist yet. And I know that thing if they exist, will come with their own baggage and flaws.
  
  TLDR: considering ending a loving, stable relationship because I didn’t feel intellectually stimulated or find her particularly witty. Not sure if I’m being self-aware or self-sabotaging.","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': ' baggage and flaws', 'relation': 'will come with their own', 'condition': 'if they exist'}]"
456,P0457,1s2tclv,"My husband (30M) and I (29F) are stuck in a recurring fight, and I don’t know how to break this cycle.
  
  We’ve been together for almost 4 years.
  
  In the earlier days of the relationship (between 1-2 years) whenever we would go to bed, we were more present with each other. We would talk, laugh, spend some quality time and cuddle before going to sleep, and since quality time is my love language, that really made my night.
  
  Nowadays, when we go to bed, he would either be on his phone or want to read a book or anything else other than spend time with me. Nothing against that. I just simply want a bit of quality time or a “moment” before going to sleep, since it’s also important for me.
  
  I’ve requested if we could just spend 5 minutes or so to interact and be present with each other and he could go do his thing after. He said that this doesn’t really work for him because whenever he starts cuddling, then he’d feel sleepy and wouldn’t have the energy to do what he wanted in the first place. So he wants to do what he wants do first and he will cuddle me when he’s about to go to sleep.
  
  On my end, I’ve communicated with him that whenever he does these other things first upon going to bed instead of being present or having a “moment” with me, it makes me feel like I’m not a priority, and I hate that. 
  
  We haven’t really found a compromise we’re both happy with. Because whenever I request this, okay he would put the phone/book down but he just shuts down, laying with me like a dead person with no desire to connect or engage, and that’s not really the quality time I’m looking for.
  
  We’ve gone back and forth over this and I don’t think he really understands even after communicating, and neither do I. And we’re just slowly building resentment for not having each other’s needs met.
  
  In the end, I didn’t really get the connection I wanted and neither did he get what he wanted.
  
  I’m tired of having this argument. Tired of begging for attention, presence and tired of feeling like I’m not being chosen or prioritized. And he’s also tired of not being able to do what he wants to do.
  
  Am I in the wrong here? How do we break this cycle? 
  
  tl;dr - my husband and i are stuck in the same fight, we have a conflict in getting each other’s needs met and can’t find a compromise. how do we break the pattern?","[{'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'each other', 'relation': 'were more present with', 'condition': 'whenever we would go to bed'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'would feels sleepy', 'condition': 'whenever he starts cuddling'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'what he wanted in the first place', 'relation': 'would not be able to do ', 'condition': 'whenever he starts cuddling'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'will cuddle ', 'condition': 'when he is about to go to sleep'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'a priority', 'relation': 'makes me feel like I am not ', 'condition': 'whenever he does these other things first'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'the phone/book ', 'relation': 'would put down', 'condition': 'whenever I request this'}]"
457,P0458,1s2sspq,"TLDR - Sorry for bad english and spelling this is not my frist or second language. As a introduction, i am 18 in school and i have been dating my gf for 4 months, which is short but i need help. I am someone who is quite emotional, i belive in the fact most acts have meaning even if its small and i also belive in loving being show done, not in big ways but in small appreciatory ways. To me i am a big romantic, i love planning dates, talking on a conistent but reasoable basis and putting my lover first over me. I wrote a few paragraphs about how i feel and my friend reworded it to make it easy for you to read, im sorry about that i hope you understand well.
  
  i feel like throughout the relationship there has been a constant mismatch between how i show love and what i need, and how she responds to it. i am someone who shows love a lot through words, actions, small gestures, physical touch and spending time together. i try to do as much as i can, even small things, because to me they all have meaning. i compliment her, i plan things, i get her gifts even when i don’t have much, and i try to be emotionally open even though that’s hard for me.
  
  in return, i don’t feel like i receive that same level of affection or appreciation. she rarely compliments me unless i bring something up first, she doesn’t really react much to gifts, and sometimes even jokes or insults that she says as a joke still hurt me. i’ve brought this up multiple times and tried to explain that i just want to feel a bit more appreciated and loved in ways i understand, but it never really changes. i understand she struggles with expressing herself, but i also struggled and still pushed myself to show her love, so it feels unfair that there isn’t effort back.
  
  on top of that, communication has been really difficult. i made it clear that communication is important to me and i tried to open up even though it’s not easy for me. when i did, i tried not to attack her, just to explain when something hurt me and why. but a lot of the time she would take it as me attacking her, or she would dismiss it, get upset, or avoid it completely. one time she even said that my reaction to being hurt gave her the “ick,” which made me feel like my emotions weren’t safe to express. over time it started to feel like she never really tried to understand my side, even when i made the effort to explain it calmly.
  
  instead of coming to me, she would go to someone else for advice about our relationship, someone i’m not comfortable with knowing personal things about us. she told me communication is key and that we should go to each other, but her actions didn’t match that. i didn’t even know she was doing this until recently. when i ended up going to a close friend myself after breaking down, she got upset at me for it, even though she had been doing the same thing. that felt like a double standard and made me feel even more pushed away.
  
  i also feel like i’m not a priority in her life. there have been multiple times where she cancelled plans with me last minute or didn’t want to spend time together because she was “too tired,” but then she would spend hours playing games with friends or doing other things. i planned a date that i had been asking for weeks, and she cancelled it saying she was too tired, but then spent the days before it with her friends and then made plans to go drinking instead the next weekend. that hurt a lot because it felt like i was being replaced, especially since she had said before she wasn’t comfortable drinking without me. it made me feel like i wasn’t important to her.
  
  
  
  Can you please guide me on what I should do and if me giving her more chances will mabye change things. Im very lost and need guidance, thank you","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'tried to not attack', 'condition': 'when I did communicate'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'got upset at', 'condition': 'when I ended up going to a close friend myself'}]"
458,P0459,1s2qiqh,"My (22f) bf (23f) is really cold to me a lot. Dating for one almost two years. He ignores me when I’m sad, makes me feel sad and unwanted, gives really short answers a lot of the times and just seems uninterested a lot of the times too. I’ve told him before that it hurts my feelings and he literally said he knows he does it and he knows it bothers me and that he does that to a lot of people.
  
  I’m a words of affirmation person and he’s more physical touch. He doesnt compliment me either much, but the only compliments he really gives me sometimes is and I don’t hate it but I don’t want that to be such a casual thing to say to me, bc that just feels sexual not sweet or loving. I just dont everything to be sexual all the time like i literally get complimented by random guys more than my own bf and that makes me sad to even say.
  
  I also feel like when I try to talk about my feelings he gets defensive or just shuts down and the conversation goes nowhere. And lately I’ve realized I get sad a lot when I’m with him and I feel unwanted sometimes.
  
  I do love him and I don’t think he’s a bad person at all, but I’m starting to feel really unhappy and like I have to distance myself emotionally bc I can’t keep trying to get someone to care more.
  
  And all he has to say really is ""thats just the way that i am with everybody, i know how i act and can tell how you feel about it, but thats just how i am."" 
  
  Also our love languages seem very different, i see love through words of affirmation, he doesnt do the opposite but its just he doesnt do it at all, he also thinks that buying things for me is for marriage but for some reason doesnt think sex is?? Am i cray, i hope i am.
  
  TL;DR: My bf knows he can be cold and knows it hurts me but says that’s just how he is. I feel sad and unwanted a lot but I love him. Don’t know if I’m asking for too much or if we’re just not compatible.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'ignores', 'condition': 'when I am sad'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'gets defensive', 'condition': 'when I try to talk about my feelings'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'get sad alot', 'condition': 'when I am with him'}]"
459,P0460,1s2p0rx,"me '18M and my gf '16F' have been together for 4 months but.... (online relationship )
  
  lately she was weird, for the whole month of February she was detached but at the end of it she turned normal, but then after a few days, she again became weird, she was distant sometimes and wouldn't answer questions... then I had some thoughts that were making me doubt her so I was suspecting she was cheating.. I know. I should have confronted her but honestly I don't remember what was going on in my head... anyway the only option I thought about was to text her with a fake account... I didn't think it would be something terrible to do and I would never do it again... but when testing her with the fake account, my gf was friendly and would prioritise that account rather than me, I also felt like she was kinder or more attracted? to that account. later on I tried to catch her on it but I didn't manage to and I was just frustrated from the overall situation... so I thought that I was ready to break up, I did it at night, I first asked her to tell me if she was hiding something or someone, I admitt I was forcing it and pretty toxic, but I was overwhelmed and I couldn't realise it, it arrived to the point I exploded and just said let's break up and revealed the fake account, after it she said her mental health wasn't great and my jealousy wasn't helping (I didn't mean to hurt her this way... I just didn't know it was stressing her) (I also found out she muted our chat) anyway a few minutes after break up I realised what happened and instantly regretted, I went to her asking for forgiveness and to get back together bla bla, no answer, It arrivess the next morning and she says I'm disgusted and that she doesn't feel love for me anymore....i tried to ask to fix things but she said she didn't want. it has been a week.... what can I do...I don't want to lose her but I'm already losing her.... 
  
  tl:dr gf behaviour was weird so I tested her with fake account, I broke up but I realized what happened and I wanted her back but she doesn't want","[{'e1': 'my gf', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'prioritized the other account over', 'condition': 'when testing her with a fake account'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'regretted and realized what happened ', 'condition': 'few minutes after break up'}]"
460,P0461,1s2orbx,"I (23M) became friends with a coworker (25F), after a while we started to really grow a bond and began to flirt and hangout outside of work. We have great chemistry, our sense of humor is similar, and we get along very well. She did have a boyfriend, but she was not happy with the relationship. Eventually they broke up and we began to pursue this situation we had further. It was clear to me though that she wasn't over her ex. After about a month, we had got into a big argument (I started) and she wanted to end things.
  
  Fast forward a week-2weeks later, she got back with her ex. She ended up getting into an argument with him as well (she started) about a month later and he ended up ghosting her. She blocked him and asked me to hang out again, saying she missed hanging out with me.
  
  Obviously when we hung out, I told her that night that I don't appreciate her wanting to jump back into things with me because her and her ex are not on speaking terms. She tells me she genuinely likes me and feels like I understand her more, and that she can be her true authentic self with me. But she says she's obviously not ready for a relationship and that she shouldn't have been so quick to pursue something with me in the past, without being fully healed first. She says she needs time to fully get over her ex and needs me to be just a friend for her until she's ready. I agreed to wait for her.
  
  We still do hug, kiss and flirt though. Idk guys I'm just starting to wonder if I'm making the right decision. Or if I'm just being used as a placeholder/back-up option. Anything would help, thanks for reading.
  
  \*TL;DR I'm trying to decide if i should wait for the girl to be ready for a relationship. We have history and great chemistry, just bad timing. Or am I just being used as a placeholder/back-up plan?","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'a bond', 'relation': 'started to grow', 'condition': 'after a while'}]"
461,P0462,1s2nyxi,"I (28 white F) have been dating my partner (30 Indian M) for 5 years. He moved to my country as a teenager and built his life here on his own. Our relationship has always been really strong, we’ve integrated well into each other’s lives, and we’ve both made an effort to learn about and embrace each other’s cultures.
  
  The challenge I’m facing is with his family. They say they like me and accept me as a daughter, but at the same time, they often make backhanded comments about my appearance. For example, they’ll ask why I don’t walk like a lady or why my skin looks red (I have eczema). They (mostly his mother) also frequently suggest I change things about myself, like growing out my hair or nails, or tell me how I should be feeding their son.
  
  I try really hard to be respectful and a “good” daughter-in-law, so I usually just brush off these comments even when they hurt or I don’t agree. But it’s starting to wear on me. I’m worried that if I ever speak up, it could damage my relationship with them, and having a good relationship with his family is very important to me.
  
  I’m not sure if this is something cultural that I’m misunderstanding, or if I’m taking things too personally. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?
  
  Any advice or perspective would be really appreciated. Thanks!
  
  TL;DR:
  
  I’m in a long-term relationship, but my partner’s family makes frequent critical comments about my appearance and behavior. I try to stay respectful, but it’s starting to affect me, and I’m unsure whether this is a cultural difference or something I should address.","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': ' them', 'relation': 'could damage my relationship with', 'condition': 'if i ever speak up'}]"
462,P0463,1s2n7eq,"TL;DR: my boyfriend shows me he loves me everyday but never compliments me on my appearance. Does anyone have advice on this?
  
  Hi, reddit, and sorry if my english is too bad. For context, I've been with my boyfriend for two years. He's cool and we get along really well. Is not that the relationship is lacking anything, but I've noticed he never calls me pretty or beautiful or not even hot.
  
  I have not changed in appearance since we've started dating and this was not an issue when we started. It's just that he doesn't do it anymore, and when I throw hints at him he only tells me ""you know I think you're pretty"" and move on. He usually jokes around with this and adds something like ""do you remember that time you dressed up as a dinosaur?"" or ""I like you even more when you have your little moustache"".
  
  I've tried complimenting him more just in case he felt this way too, but it doesn't work. I've tried doing my makeup the way he likes and nothing, and I've recently started to get a little self conscious with this because I end up comparing myself to the girls he was with before me and wonder if I've done anything wrong or something. I know he loves me, he finds me funny and smart and all of those things, but does he find me pretty? Does anyone know what I can do?","[{'e1': 'my change in appearance', 'e2': 'an issue', 'relation': 'was not ', 'condition': 'when we started'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'only say I am pretty to', 'condition': 'when I throw hints'}]"
463,P0464,1s2m63e,"I have a girlfriend and I want to marry her, as I told her around 2 years ago. We have opposite personalities, and she said opposites always live happily, which she did, but I didn’t.
  
  Sometimes she makes me feel that way, and I question myself that my decision might be wrong because of some things she does that I don’t like.
  
  She sometimes turns me on and then does things that turn me off so quickly, and there is no real romantic life between us.
  
  When I tell her not to do a specific thing, she always says okay, but after some time she does it again and then defends herself by saying “I’m dumb, I didn’t do it again” or something like that.
  
  She doesn’t even kiss me, and when I try, she doesn’t cooperate. When I tell her to just cooperate, she says okay but then does the same thing again.
  
  As I think, if I want a healthy life with her, there has to be some romantic, which she is not.
  
  On the other hand, she says she loves me, and sometimes it shows through her messages and her behavior.
  
  But still, I am not sure about her.
  
  What should I do now? Your opinion matters, so please be real with me.
  
  Thanks.
  
  TL;DR: I recently had a 40-minute conversation with her, and whenever I needed an answer, she changed the topic, and then i came here to get some advice because she felt me that way most of the time
  
  What do i do now ?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'okay', 'relation': 'always says', 'condition': 'when I tell her not to do a specific thing'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'okay', 'relation': 'says', 'condition': 'when i tell her to cooperate'}, {'e1': 'there', 'e2': 'some romance', 'relation': 'has to be ', 'condition': 'if I want a healthy life'}]"
464,P0465,1s2iigw,"This is my last living grandparent, my dad's dad. Him and my grandma (his wife who died 11 years ago) were extremely verbally and physically abusive towards my dad and aunt. My dad only talks about it when he's drunk and needs therapy. 
  
  They were also verbally abusive towards me, my mom, and my younger sister. They would scream at my mom for being a horrible mother, make us pick sides, count the pictures of them in our house and if there weren't enough a huge fight would happen. 
  
  And to make it worse- he is a racist, bigoted, xenophobic jerk who hates immigrants, minorities of any kind, and doesn't acknowledge that me and others in the family aren't straight.
  
  My grandpa is currently in the hospital with a possible stroke after he fell down and was unconscious on the floor for several hours until a neighbor found him. 
  
  My dad still talks to him and is going to see him (my grandpa lives 2ish hours away) while my aunt and cousin are there in the area helping too. 
  
  I talked to my parents and said obviously I wish him all the best, I would never wish death on anyone. But they kept saying I sound cold. I'm like listen, yeah he's my grandpa and yes he claims he loves me but he has completely disregarded everything about me and is a bigot and I don't want a relationship with him and haven't in years. The last time I saw him in person was my wedding 1.5 years ago.
  
  I know I won't cry at his funeral whenever that does happen whether it happens sooner or later. Who I do feel bad for are his kids, friends, my cousin, and anyone else who loved him. But I won't be crying for this guy. 
  
  So how do I navigate this? I am trying my best to be respectful and polite without investing too much emotional energy which I don't have for him anymore. 
  
  Any advice would be appreciated because the only other person who gets this is my husband (28M) because he has seen how much pain my father's side has caused me. 
  
  Tl;dr- my parents think I don't care about my sick grandpa enough even though he's a racist bigoted jerk who disagrees with who I am. How do I navigate this?","[{'e1': 'My dad', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'only talks about', 'condition': 'when he is drunk '}, {'e1': 'a huge fight', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'would happen', 'condition': ""if there weren't enough pictures of them in our house""}]"
465,P0466,1s2glue,"I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (19M) for a bit over half a year and he's currently going through a major depressive and suicidal episode. Things have been really hard for him due to a surgery, issues with his parents, and generalized anxiety and depression. Recently, he's been making harmful choices which hurt himself and I'm left to help him. This has led to him having an unhealthy dependency on me where I feel like I can't focus on myself or get to spend time with my friends because I'm constantly worried about him. I love him so much and feel guilty for needing that space sometimes, but I also know it's unfair to myself to focus all of my energy on him. We still have good moments where things feel so much better, but things have been very difficult most times we're apart and it leads to him trying to push me away further by saying hurtful things. I know he's struggling, but I don't know how to be there for him when it's actively hurting me. This is the first serious relationship either of us have been in and it has brought me so much joy, but I've been struggling so much recently, and I don't know how much more I can take if things don't change soon. Does anyone have any advice if they've ever been in a position like mine or his? 
  
  TL;DR: Is it worth figuring out how to be there for my depressed bf if it's hurting me this much?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': ""don't know how to be there for"", 'condition': ""when it's actively hurting me""}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': ""don't know how much more can be taken by"", 'condition': ""if things don't change soon""}]"
466,P0467,1s2d4w2,"My (19F) boyfriend (19M) is going to a work night out at somepoint undecided for a guy who's leaving, my boyfriend has worked there for a few months. We have been together three years and at the start of our relationship a few months in he cheated on me, he was young and stupid and I've forgiven him for that but sometimes it still lingers in my mind. He works with a girl (18F) we will call her Lucy for anonymity, Lucy added him on everything when he first started and flirted with him. He tells me he never speaks to her at work but I caught him lying about that once. Even during innocent conversations about work he goes ""Lucy wasn't there don't worry"" ""I don't like Lucy"" ""I think she's ugly"" which she definitely is not she's very beautiful. A few days ago he brought up the work night out and said Lucy was going too, he said he couldn't wait to see everyone there. Lucy and me have a mutual friend and the mutual friend told me Lucy was planning to make a move on him at the work night out as they would be drunk and she could kiss him and then the next day apologise and just say she was drunk if things didn't work out. I told him I was concerned about this and he said nothing could stop him from going and he would just shut her down. A few days before this conversation he called me her name, he has done this before the first time he cheated on me. He denied it and said I misheard him. What should I do?
  
  TLDR: boyfriend is going to a work night out, he called me a girls name from his work and I have suspicions about them","[{'e1': 'Lucy', 'e2': 'everything', 'relation': 'added him to', 'condition': 'when he first started'}, {'e1': 'She ', 'e2': 'drunkenness', 'relation': 'would blame', 'condition': ""if things didn't work out""}]"
467,P0468,1s2cqiq,"Me and my best friend have only been besties for about 3-4 years, but we grew close extremely quickly. 
  
  I initially didn’t find him attractive at all, and we were also not single at the time, but after both going through breakups and hanging out a lot, I started to see him in a different light. 
  
  Now we’re very close friends; we talk every day, we open up to each other, we hang out multiple times a week, we go on holiday, all of which obviously made the crush impossible to ignore. 
  
  Eventually, I told him about it, because I wanted either reciprocation or closure and to be able to move on. He was flattered and said he loved me as a person and found me attractive but didn’t think we should date - unclear why exactly, whether a lack of feelings, or general commitment issues, or a belief that we wouldn’t work, maybe all three. But he was very nice about it. I hoped that would be the end. 
  
  It’s been about a year since then and it’s torment. We still talk daily and hang out, and I hide my feelings quite well, but he’s getting back into dating and it’s anguish. I get so jealous, which is unusual for me. I want him to be happy but I’m so relieved when his dates don’t work out. He has a crush on a mutual friend of ours, which I think is unlikely to become anything but whenever they hang out I feel so envious it’s embarrassing. 
  
  To almost make matters worse, I know there’s some physical attraction between us because we’ve made out and gotten a little handsy when drunk before. Other people have told me he’s said I’m hot, he notices changes in my appearance and compliments them etc. 
  
  AND in my humble opinion, both his crush and his ex have a remarkable number of things in common with me in terms of personality, interests, lifestyle (I also get on with both). So I don’t know exactly what it is about me that stops him having those feelings :( 
  
  Maybe it’s a fear of ruining the friendship? When I confessed to him, he told me he wanted us to be lifelong friends, and I obviously want that too. But the jealousy and pain is getting out of hand and I’m finding it impossible to move on, impossible to date someone else, & even hard to take care of myself. 
  
  Eventually he’s going to get a girlfriend and it makes me worry about our friendship. We won’t be able to interact in the same ways, and I imagine a future gf wouldn’t be too keen on him having a best friend who’s in love with him. I’d feel like a bad friend if I couldn’t talk to him about his relationship or hang out with his partner. 
  
  I loathe the idea of seeing and talking to him less, it makes life feel dull and pointless, but I just don’t see a way out of this unless I take some action to distance. And isn’t that sick? That we can’t date because it would ruin the friendship, but the friendship is getting ruined by these feelings anyway. 
  
  Does anybody have any advice? How have others dealt with this kind of thing? Is it possible to get over him without it wrecking our friendship? Or without taking too much space? Why doesn’t he like me back? :(
  
  ——
  
  **TL;DR**: I’m painfully in love with my best friend and the jealousy is causing me a lot of despair. I want to move on but I don’t know how to without killing our friendship. help!","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'am so relieved', 'condition': ""when his dates don't work out""}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'feel so envious', 'condition': 'whenever they hang out'}, {'e1': 'We ', 'e2': 'each other', 'relation': 'have made out with', 'condition': 'when we were drunk '}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'life-long friends', 'relation': 'told me he wanted to be', 'condition': 'when I confessed to him'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a bad friend', 'relation': 'would feel like', 'condition': ""if i couldn't talk to him about his relationship""}]"
468,P0469,1s2bnnt,"Hey everyone! So I’m in a bit of a situation with my boyfriend (29M) of about 3 years, and I really need some advice on how to handle this. To give you a bit of context, we met in college and have been pretty inseparable ever since, but it feels like something has shifted recently. 
  
  The problem is that I found out he’s been texting his ex-girlfriend (28F) a lot more than he’s told me. I initially discovered it when I saw a message pop up on his phone while we were watching a movie together. He totally brushed it off when I asked about it, saying they were just catching up and that he’d been friends with her since high school. But, honestly, I can’t shake off this uneasy feeling. It’s not that I don’t trust him - I do - but I can’t help but wonder why he feels the need to keep it from me. 
  
  We talked about it the other night, and he insisted that it’s no big deal and that he doesn’t have any feelings for her anymore, which, I mean, fair enough, right? But I still feel uncomfortable whenever I think about them communicating. He says I’m just being insecure, and part of me agrees, but my gut just doesn’t like it. I just kinda wish he’d be more open about it, like maybe let me in on the conversations, you know? Is that too much to ask? 
  
  I don’t want to come across as controlling or overly jealous, but the whole situation just makes me feel weird. How do I bring this up without making it worse? Am I being unreasonable for wanting a little more transparency, or should I just chill and trust him? Ugh, I literally can’t decide what the right move is here. 
  
  TL;DR: My boyfriend (29M) has been texting his ex (28F), and I feel uneasy. How should I approach this without causing drama?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': ' initially discovered', 'condition': 'when I saw a message pop up on his phone'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'feel uncomfortable', 'condition': 'whenever I think about them communicating'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'brushed it off', 'condition': 'when I asked about it'}]"
469,P0470,1s26al7,"My fiancé has been acting really distant lately. I'm currently dealing with some health issues and she seems more focused on her work then helping me through my current health struggles.
  
  We have been together for 5 years and live together. We don't have any children. We got engaged about 1 year ago and have not set a date.
  
  Our relationship has not been perfect, but we have always found a way to keep going strong. Our sex lives had been pretty good up until about 3-4 weeks ago.
  
  Today my friend sent me a text message with irrefutable proof that my fiancé has been active on hinge, the worst part is that some of the photos are ones that I took of her on our engagement trip.
  
  I haven't confronted her or spoke to her about it yet. I'm honestly kind of in shock. She's leaving on a business trip tomorrow night across the country for a week.
  
  I think I know what I have to do, but someone please tell me what I should do in this situation?
  
  I'm like seriously shook right now.
  
  TLDR: Friend sent me screenshot of fiancés hinge profile with pictures that I took of her while on our engagement trim. I have never cheated on her and I think she's planning to cheat on me while on a business trip next week. I need advice on what to do, but I think In know what I have to do.
  
  Thanks Reddit Fam.
  
  Edit: Update
  
  Couldn't get to her phone all night, so I had to wait until the morning before I could finally get to it. She was making her coffee and breakfast so I had to move quickly. I grabbed her phone and immediately searched for the app but it was no where to be found. However, what I did find was even more damning. Looking at her text messages the top of the list was some guys name I didn't recognize. I opened it right up and there it all was. They were exchanging good mornings, talking about meeting up on her trip so they could ""cuddle"" talking about looking for the one, how great their phone conversation went. He was asking her if he could be his GF even after never meeting her, how much they have in common. She had sent him pictures doing yoga poses of our apartment and everything. Everything was all lined up for her to go meet this guy across the country and have a run-away romance fantasy. I took all the screenshots I could with her phone, they were all damning...Not explicitly stating sex, but cuddling and I can't wait to squeeze you and hug and kiss you....everything emotional and leading right there to physically cheating. When she walked back into the room I went to the bathroom immediately and put her phone back down. She asked what's wrong and I confronted her right there. She looked like a deer in the headlights when I told her about the profile and asked who that guy was. She said it looks bad but she wasn't planning on actually meeting up with him....that those messages could've went to me if only I paid more attention to her and did things differently....She refused to let me look further at her phone and took zero accountability. I told her right than and there we are no longer engaged and that's it, I'm breaking up with you and broke up with her right before I went to work. She was pleading me to re-consider and gas-lighting/ trying to manipulate me as hard as she could to re-consider when she comes back from her trip....I told her no I'm not, this is it and she started to raise her voice and go slightly manic so I told her sure, ok we can talk when you get back....Talk about who's keeping the residence we share, who's moving out and next steps to separate completely. I haven't told my family yet, only close friends. I'm not sure why I haven't yet. I haven't been single in many years and am terrified of the future. I have some serious medical stuff coming up next week and it just feels like the worst time this could be happening, but is there ever a good time this could happen? Not really I suppose. 
  
  
  TLDR: It was worse then I expected, meeting fantasy guy across the country to start a new life/ cheat? The texts were damning, she still refused to let me look at her phone even with all the screenshots I took. I ended it with her on the spot and she's still trying to control and manipulate the situation. She won't be back for a few more days and I'm packing up my shit and getting the fuck out of here for now, fuck off bitch it takes 2 to be in a relationship. I need to figure out my future and life now.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'bathroom ', 'relation': 'went to', 'condition': 'immediately when she walked back into the room'}, {'e1': 'She ', 'e2': 'a deer in headlights', 'relation': 'looked like', 'condition': 'when I told about the profile'}, {'e1': 'those messages', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'could have went to', 'condition': 'if I payed more attention to her and did things differently'}]"
470,P0471,1s25rge,"I’m 23F and currently in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (23M). We’ve been together for almost 5 years, and because of the distance, I usually only get to see him about once a year. However, due to his work and my work, we hvnt seen each other in a year and a half.
  
  Recently, though, things have changed a lot. He’s become very religious and has completely cut off anything sexual, there's no flirting, no sexual conversations, no nudes. Absolutely fucking nothing. This has been going on for about 10 months now.
  
  The thing is, he’s coming to visit me in 5 days, and he’s already told me that he doesn’t want to have sex or anything like that. And honestly, it’s put me in a really confusing and difficult position.
  
  Another part that’s been really bothering me is how he reacts when I express my needs. He’s told me that my sexual needs “overwhelm” him, and at times he’s called me a “nymph” in a degrading way when we’re texting or calling and I open up about what I want. That’s been hurtful, and it’s made me feel judged instead of understood.
  
  I love him a lot, and in many ways, he’s everything I want in a partner. But at the same time, my physical needs haven’t been met for a long time, and it’s starting to affect me more than I expected.
  
  I don’t want to lose him, but I also don’t know how to keep going like this without feeling unfulfilled.
  
  Has anyone been in a similar situation, or have any advice on how to handle this?
  
  TL;DR long term bf doesn't want to have sex with me anymore, need advice on next course of action.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'a nymph', 'relation': 'called me in a degrading way', 'condition': 'when we are texting or calling and I open up about what I want'}]"
471,P0472,1s25db1,"my boyfriend currently owns a home that will be selling and also has a new job where he’s hoping to bring in high 6 figures over the next year. our entire relationship he has complained about money and been stingy (keep track of every dollar, if he buys food he’ll keep bothering me the next time to buy food, if he picked me up from the airport he would expect me to take him out for food because of the gas money he spent) basically nothing he does is a nice gesture he always expects something back. it’s gotten much worse over the past 3 months, and he has constantly verbally berated me, picked fights so he could go back to gaming and basically complains to me about how much our relationship drains him but he won’t breakup with me. we don’t go on any dates and he spends all his free time gaming, if we talk it’s usually about him and what’s going on with him, he won’t bother asking me questions and if i do start talking to him he will go on his phone at the same time because he has adhd and he says it’s hard for him to focus. even when it comes to physical affection i have to ask for a kiss or a hug he says he’s not naturally physically affectionate but when it comes to sex he will keep bothering me for a blowjob or sex. i guess i’ve been tolerating the behaviour thinking because he has a new job and is tired, i would just leave him alone to do his own thing and hopefully once he achieved his financial goal things would be ok, but i feel like he wants to ditch me now and i feel used as the “for right now” girl instead of the forever girl. 
  
  i’ve tried many times to have conversations to have more emotional intimacy, time together etc but when the conversation happens he’s either bored or annoyed i’m bringing it up and belittles me (will call me stupid, needy, annoying) or he will tell me he has no money (i’ve asked him to go on walks, cheap cafe dates and he will say no because i always start a fight or he doesn’t want to drive)
  
  our relationship had a shitty foundation we were together officially for a month before i went with him on a work trip where i cooked and cleaned/ basically did all sexual favours and when i went away for 4 days he looked up prostitutes + “added one on snapchat for nudes” and also downloaded tinder “because his coworkers kept talking about it” (he’s in trades). he’s also a father and has a 15 year old who i actually get along really well with. once i found this out i ghosted him and moved out and did no contact for 3 months, he continuously kept reaching out and showed up on my doorstep begging for a second chance claiming he had gone to therapy and has changed to which i unfortunately gave him a second chance. it was good for about 2 months and then i realized he hasn’t really changed all the much, and now it’s been 3 years since we got back together and our relationship is horrible.
  
  i guess i wanted to vent and hear opinions, i feel like it’s pretty obvious what i should do but i have nobody to confide in and i feel stupid for wasting 3 years of my life on someone who can’t treat me like a decent human being. looking for sympathy and advice
  
  tldr: together for 3 years, boyfriend messed up and asked for me back after i ghosted him, relationship was good for a month the rest of the 2.9 years have been horrible, now that he is finally making good money he is using me as an emotional punching back basically trying to get me to breakup with him. i feel used after enduring the relationship at its lowest point just for him to do this now that he is coming up.","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': ' food', 'relation': 'will keep bothering me the next time to buy', 'condition': 'if he buys food'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'food', 'relation': 'would expect me to take him out for', 'condition': 'if he picked me up from the airport'}, {'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'him ', 'relation': 'is usually about', 'condition': 'if we talk'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'his phone', 'relation': 'will go on', 'condition': 'if i do start talking'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a kiss or hug', 'relation': 'have to ask for', 'condition': 'when it comes to physical affection'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'a blowjob or sex', 'relation': 'will keep bothering me for ', 'condition': 'when it comes to sex'}]"
472,P0473,1s24krw,"\*\*TL:DR\*\* I'm an (18F) senior in highschool and I have a sister who is (28F). Technically, she's my stepsister who immigrated from another country and has been staying with my parents and I for the past 3/4 years, basically the entire time I've been in highschool.
  
  The thing is, we share a room and a bed. It gets really uncomfortable sharing space with that with someone all the time ESPECIALLY when I get home tired or frustrated. I feel like the only time I feel peace is when I'm in the bathroom.
  
  She has already graduated from college in her country, with a degree in engineering. She's been working as a lifeguard for the past 2 years and takes occasional English classes every week. She pays about 300 dollars in rent. 
  
  Mind you, her lifeguard job pays very well and doesn't struggle coming up with money much as she buys herself a lot of clothes and collectibles and beauty treatments. 
  
  But even though she has all the money for this stuff, it doesn't seem like she's looking to move out anytime soon, mindlessly spending money lately.
  
  My mom has told her it's time to move out and I've expressed my frustration to my mother, but it seems like my mom is not really reinforcing her own decisions. I refuse to start college still sharing my bed and room with my sister who is pushing 30. What can I do?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'peace', 'relation': 'feel', 'condition': 'only when I am in the bathroom'}]"
473,P0474,1s21f2i,"I (24M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (23F) for 3 months now, and we are literally PERFECT for each other, we’re in the same university, studying in the same major in the same year, we share mutual future goals, we enjoy our time together, we admire each other’s qualities, I find her very beautiful, I make her laugh, we give each other gifts, etc.
  
  It has been like this for the entire 3 months and if even before when we started to talk 2 months before that, but we can’t say we “love” each other.
  
  I opened up about this “love” situation 1 month ago, and she reciprocated saying she’s hasn’t fallen in love either, and we don’t why. We had a long conversation about it at the time and we decided to give it more time.
  
  We had another long conversation about it recently, and we discussed if there’s any development happening regarding the matter. For me, I’m still not there yet there’s definitely an improvement, I feel like I’m starting to fall in love, but for her, she can’t say the same.
  
  We tried to figure out why is this happening, we said that she could be in the wrong headspace for this feeling, knowing she is facing a lot of stress with her life dealing with personal issues.
  
  We agreed to “act as if” meaning to act as if we’re in love even if we aren’t yet, hoping this might help. But our major concern is that if we don’t fall in love in a reasonable period of time, we might be wasting each other’s time, effort, and money that could be spent elsewhere, so I need an advice on what can we do that could help us experience love, because we really want this relationship to work out.
  
  TD;LR:
  
  Been dating my girlfriend for 3 months (plus 2 months talking before), and we’re basically perfect on paper: same major, great chemistry, shared goals, enjoy each other a lot. But neither of us has actually fallen in love yet. I feel like I might be getting there, but she isn’t. We’ve talked about it twice and we think it might be because she’s in the wrong headspace right now for it since she’s facing stress with her life, and want to try to “act as if” we’re in love to see if it develops, but we’re worried about wasting time if it doesn’t. Looking for advice on how to make love grow.","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': ""each other's time"", 'relation': 'might be wasting', 'condition': ""if we don't fall in love in a reasonable period of time""}]"
474,P0475,1s20uxk,"This is a pretty long story, since my problems started 5 years ago
  
  Ever since I was 14, I’ve had a shaky relationship with my parents. They did something that really fucked me up mentally and ruined the rest of my childhood.
  
  The problem being, they still love me. Their way of punishing a kid was really extreme and they never were the best at raising me since I was the “trial kid”. They were elitist parents that didn’t know how to handle me being a “failure” at 14, and so they decided to make my life hell to try to fix me. And, it ended up making me worse and a little better I guess. I got more motivation to work hard with the trade off of depression, anger issues, resentment and (at the time) suicidal thoughts
  
  My father’s parents died when I was around 5, and my mother’s parents were not good examples for parenting, so they were trying to figure it out on their own practically. 
  
  From 14-16 I was in a dark place and my father even said if he was in my position he wasn’t sure if he would’ve killed himself or not, so that was a crazy thing to hear. 
  
  Anyways, I tried repairing our relationship when I was 17 since I wanted to be closer before I went to the coast guard, but regardless, I was going to be kicked out of the house at 18, which is something I’ve been told since 16
  
  So, because I didn’t want to do both high school and a full time job to support myself at the same time, I got my GED and shipped off to the Coast Guard at 17. Ended up being kicked out for a stupid reason, and while I had the chance to rejoin, I quit and was a hold for a couple months and went home. Parents called me a failure and I had a month to find a place to live.
  
  Ended up going to Job Corps to be an electrician. The army recruiter heard of my ASVAB score and talked to me. Electrician wasn’t really for me and I went to be a 35N.
  
  Basic was hard at the time and I called my parents every weekend. They showed up to graduation and we had a good time.
  
  At AIT, I called them every other weekend or so until early November. I called them to ask about staying over for Christmas break, and they said no, which was understandable. We kept talking about stuff. Then my father said a phrase “I know the reason you are doing this, and no matter how much you deny it, I know I’m right”. Not sure if anyone else thinks this is annoying to hear, but I’ve heard this all my life, and most of the time, he was wrong. But I could never argue against it as a kid. Hearing it when I’m already emotional made me pissed. I was so pissed about everything they put me through and I realized I didn’t have to take my dad’s shit anymore. I told him I don’t want to talk to him right now. I hung up and haven’t called them since.
  
  They texted me happy thanks giving and happy birthday. I didn’t answer. They texted me merry Christmas (and thank you for the gifts) and I responded dryly. Same with new years. I sent gifts for my family (parents and sisters) and for my mother’s birthday (it was a gift I planned 11 months or so prior). My mother emailed me thanks for the gift and I emailed back you’re welcome. Only communication now is emails for phone bills.
  
  I then emailed my mother if I could come over to their house for a day after AIT graduation, because I missed them and wanted to say hi to my sisters.
  
  My mother said how I haven’t been responding to their texts about the holidays and I didn’t call my mother for her birthday. She also said how I didn’t tell her about when I graduate (I’m pretty sure she was implying she wanted to go to it, but that’s exactly why I didn’t tell them). And she wasn’t sure how to even respond to my question, and that was then end of that.
  
  I emailed my mother I graduated AIT and she said congrats and how I never told her when I was graduating.
  
  And it’s weird. I feel like I want to reach out, but at the same time, I don’t feel forced. Yeah, I’m sentimental when I see family photos. But, I’ve made close friends in Basic and they were in the same AIT as me, so we grew even closer, and they are going to Hawaii as their duty station with me.
  
  TL;DR: I’m not ever sure what to do honestly. I still feel anger towards my dad, from everything he’s done to me growing up. But I miss my family, and just not talking to them without explaining why I was so angry feels wrong. But I don’t feel like I really need to reach out. I believe that I might be the one that’s wrong and being stupid, but I am emotionally invested so I can’t see that logic.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'himself ', 'relation': 'was not sure if he would or not have killed', 'condition': 'if he was in my position'}]"
475,P0476,1s1zcto,"I am posting this here due to the fact that I need advice on getting over depression and self confidence issues.. it is at the point where I am letting it ruin my relationship, and I need to break the cycle. Sorry in advance for the long post. 
  
  To start off I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (25F) for 7 years. We first met in college, and In the beginning things were great (like most relationships). As we’ve gotten older, I have started becoming more of a depressed / low confidence person, and it has gotten worse each year after college. I have always had low self confidence in everything I do, even since I was a child, which I feel like has contributed to my depression. One of the biggest problems in our relationship right now is that we barely have sex, and it is entirely my fault…. The reason behind it is that I am still nervous when it comes to Having sex.. even after being in a relationship for 7 years. I seriously don’t know what is wrong with me. Who gets scared to have sex with a person they’ve been dating for almost a decade? I truly believe it is just a low self confidence issue, but I don’t know how to fix this. I know my girlfriend loves me and is attracted to me, but there’s always something in the back of my mind telling me the opposite. I have always been a person who hates everything about myself, and I don’t know how to gain more confidence internally.
  
  That is just one of the issues. I am constantly depressed which affects our relationship severely. I always tend to be in a bad / negative mood and will snap easily on my GF. I know this is a horrible way to treat my GF who cares about me deeply, and only wants what’s best for me. Every night when I lay in bed, I think about all of these things and tell myself that “tomorrow I am going to be different”, but the cycle always repeats itself. My GF and I have had a reoccurring conversation about how I am as a person, and that there are many possible reasons deeply rooted in my childhood / the way I was raised…. We have had the same arguments over and over, and I’m honestly shocked that she has not left yet. She truly is a great person and only wants to help me. 
  
  I guess I don’t know what type of advice I’m seeking exactly, but I just needed to get this off my chest in hopes that I could hear some thoughts from other people who might be going through something similar. Any thoughts could help, thank you. 
  
  Tl;DR - dealing with low self confidence and severe depression.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'am still nervous', 'condition': 'when it comes to having sex'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'these things', 'relation': 'think about all of ', 'condition': 'every night when I lay in bed'}]"
476,P0477,1s1xh4v,"Often times my partner and I will be hanging out doing our own things, but then he'll want something. I genuinely love doing things for him, but I want to complete the tasks on my own schedule. This tends to look something like my partner asks me if I get him a glass of water, I say sure but itll be a minute. Fast forward 10 minutes and he feels like I dont care about him because I haven't gotten him the water yet.
  
  
  This really boils down to partner asks me to do something, I say I'll do it but not immediately, he gets upset when I dont do it immediately, and then I get upset that if he wanted the task completed that bad then he should have done it himself. Should I just do the task immediately? I feel like I have no agency. How can I go at my own pace or somewhere near it while showing him I care.
  
  TL;DR my partner gets upset if I dont immediately do a task; i want to be able to take my time completing it withing being unreasonable","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'himself', 'relation': 'should hae done it', 'condition': 'if he wanted the task completed that bad'}, {'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'gets upset at', 'condition': ""when I don't do it immediately""}]"
477,P0478,1s1wx7b,"I’ve got a situation that’s been messing with my head a bit. 
  
  I'm 20M, my friend is 20F
  
  About two years ago, when I moved to the city for university, I met this girl. We’ve always gotten along really well and became pretty close friends. We’ve hung out a lot, both alone and with other people going to the cinema, grabbing coffee, making random plans, that kind of thing.The thing is, whenever we were alone, I never made any kind of move. I tend to be very respectful and I don’t want to make someone uncomfortable, so I’ve always avoided doing anything unless it felt clearly mutual. So yeah, two years go by, everything is great, we’re good friends… and then I found out a few days ago that she got a boyfriend about two weeks ago. And honestly, that’s been hitting me harder than I expected. I’ve started feeling jealous, and it’s confusing because before this, I never really saw her “that way.” But now that she’s with someone else, I feel like I might actually like her, and the jealousy is kind of eating at me. What’s also messing with me is that I don’t even know if these feelings are real or if it’s just because she’s not “available” anymore. Like, if she broke up with her boyfriend, I’m not even sure I’d have the courage to tell her how I feel, or if I’d even feel the same way. I know this probably makes me sound like a bit of an asshole, but I genuinely don’t know what to do.I also have plans to spend a day with her this week, just the two of us, and I don’t know how I should act or handle the situation because I don't want her to stop being part ofy life.
  
  TL;DR: I’ve been close friends with a girl for two years, never made a move, and now that she has a boyfriend I’m feeling jealous and realizing I might like her,but I’m not even sure if those feelings are real or just because she’s taken and I don't know if I should say something to her because I might ruin everything.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'this girl', 'relation': 'met', 'condition': 'when I moved to the city for university'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'never made any kind of move to', 'condition': 'whenever we were alone'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' her ', 'relation': 'am not sure I would have the courage to tell how I feel to', 'condition': 'if she broke up with her boyfriend'}]"
478,P0479,1s1ud7s,"I (23F, North African) have been in a long-distance relationship for almost 3 years with my boyfriend (25M, Chinese). We speak in English.
  
  Some context:
  
  • We rarely see each other, and I’m usually the one initiating plans.
  
  • When we do meet, he isn’t very physically affectionate.
  
  • I’m more emotional and tend to get attached easily (this is my first relationship), which sometimes frustrates him.
  
  One recurring issue is that he accuses me of being “obsessed” with K-pop, which I don’t agree with. I do like it and talk about it sometimes (for example, I was really excited about my first Stray Kids concert), but I also talk about many other things. He’s also the only person around me who even knows about K-pop, so I don’t have anyone else to share it with.
  
  Recently, I asked him to listen to a K-pop-related song, and he suddenly got very angry and said I only ever talk about K-pop and that I’m obsessed. I got upset because I feel misunderstood and like he only focuses on that.
  
  The argument escalated over text. I got emotional and even begged him to stop calling me obsessed. Then he completely disappeared for almost 3 days (from Thursday 1am to Sunday evening). No texts, no calls, nothing.
  
  During that time:
  
  • He left me on seen
  
  • I could see he was active on TikTok
  
  • He even planned a hiking trip
  
  I was extremely distressed, crying and thinking he had basically broken up with me without saying it (especially since I’ve experienced abandonment before).
  
  I sent another message asking if he was going to explain or if he had given up on us, but he didn’t reply (later he said he didn’t even open it completely, didn’t see the last part of giving up us).
  
  Eventually, out of anger, I called him a coward and said he would regret losing me — that’s when he finally responded.
  
  He said:
  
  • He was avoiding texting me because he didn’t want to face the conflict
  
  • He admits he was being a coward
  
  • He regrets what he said and didn’t mean it
  
  • He was planning hiking to clear his mind
  
  • He now thinks he has avoidance issues after looking it up
  
  When I asked to call, he stayed mostly silent and said his mind felt empty and he didn’t know what to say.
  
  Now I feel really hurt. Those 3 days made me feel abandoned and question myself, but also made me realize I need to build my own support system and not depend on him so much.
  
  He has promised to change before and didn’t, but now says this time is different. I told him if I give him one last chance, I’ll forgive but not forget.
  
  I don’t want to throw away the relationship, but I also don’t know if I can trust that this won’t happen again.
  
  What would you do in my situation? Tl;dr","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'physical affection', 'relation': 'does not show', 'condition': 'when we do meet'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'finally responded to', 'condition': 'when I called a him a coward and said he would regret'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'will forgive ', 'condition': 'if I give him one last chnace'}]"
479,P0480,1s1tk07,"My boyfriend and I have had issues in the past where we had “resolved” them. Most of them I feel are over and done with but for some reason I can’t get over a few. I feel like it’s really unfair to him but he told me if i bring up anything from the past he will break up with me. 
  
  The main issue was his whereabouts. He goes to parties without me where i have seen videos of girls at these parties basically naked which hurt me. He hangs out with this girl i used to hang out with who really liked him at one point and he knew it because we talked about it in which i told him i don’t trust her but proceeded to go to a party with her and give her his jacket. I had no clue he was at the party let alone with her in which my friend was there and told me everyone thought we had broken up and he was with her now. 
  
  I told him he doesn’t reassure me enough and i think that’s why i bring up the issues and he did better for like 2 weeks but now he barely even gives me attention. We can’t see eachother often due to our work schedules and the days we are free he chooses to do other things rather than spend a few hours with me which hurts but i know he has his own life so i try not to complain. It hurts more because i always skip things to see him but he wont do that for me. He doesn’t wanna call much anymore or have sex as much and when we do it’s all about him. When we are together he is always on his phone always. I catch him lying about small things which isn’t a big deal but it’s the principle. When he was reassuring me more often I didn’t even think about past issues we have had. 
  
  I can’t tell if maybe i’m just insecure about our relationship but i feel like im the one making the issues. I just don’t feel loved or appreciated anymore and i feel kind of used because of other things that have happened. I mean i don’t work right now and he does but yet i pay for everything when we go out but he has been better with it i can give him that. like i said when we have sex it’s all about him and i don’t get much out of it like i used to. so overall i feel like ive been resenting him and now every small things has started to bother me.
  
  How do i fix this? i dont want our dynamic like this.
  
  tldr- boyfriend doesn’t do much for me anymore. can’t help but resent him even for small things now. how do i fix this?","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'will break up with', 'condition': 'if i bring up anything from the past'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'is all about', 'condition': 'when we have sex'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'his phone', 'relation': 'is always on', 'condition': 'when we are together'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'the past issues ', 'relation': ""didn't think about "", 'condition': 'when he was reassuring me more often'}]"
480,P0481,1s1t35j,"Hello everyone,
  
  
  So as the title says, My \[24f\] GF cheated on me \[28M\], we've been together for 4 years and after that I started to notice I have been heavily depressed, I started feeling insecure about my looks, my personality, how I dress, it's gotten so bad that I start to lash out whenever she remotely speaks to another man because it triggers me and brings me back to that moment where she cheated on me. I 
  
  I have expressed numerous times that I do not like when she talks to men and that its a boundary for me especially after she cheated on me. For context she would get mad at me for simply talking to a woman even if she was a LONG TIME FRIEND and would periodically force me to either delete them, stop talking to them or BLOCK them entirely. It got so bad that she would actively use ""Self-Harm"" in order to get what she wants. But when I ask her to stop talking to men because she cheated on me, she calls me so many awful things and it genuinely makes me feel horrible. I know I can't force her to stop talking to men entirely but at least put my thoughts in feelings into consideration especially after what she did to me. I am starting to pull myself slowly from the relationship every day, I love her a lot, it just breaks my heart that she doesn't see how her cheating has caused me severe mental problems, it's gotten so bad I truly believe I have PTSD from it because I have nightmares about it even when I don't want to think about it. I barely eat anymore, I have severe mood swings on a daily basis and I'm tired of repeating myself to her and she refuses to change no matter what. I am just tired of always feeling like I'm never enough for someone who doesn't value me as a partner.
  
  I know I need therapy for myself, but it's been so hard for me to get it due to my financial situation to even get it, but I also think we need couples therapy but every time I tell her we need therapy she pulls every excuse in the book. And when I ask her to contribute she tells me ""you're grown pay for it yourself."" Isn't a relationship suppose to be about companionship and being there for each other? She has the mentality where ""you're a man so you pay for everything.""
  
  
  TLDR: My GF cheated on me and it made me severely depressed, insecure and more. I am thinking about leaving her.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' heavy depression', 'relation': 'started to notice I have been having', 'condition': 'after she cheated on me'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'many awful things', 'relation': 'calls me ', 'condition': 'when I ask her to stop talking to men'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'myself', 'relation': 'tells me I am grown so I should pay for it ', 'condition': 'when I ask her to contribute'}]"
481,P0482,1s1rvi5,"So my bf(24M) and I(25F) are together for 5 years.
  
  But I have been struggling with his anger issues for really long time.
  
  When he’s angry he shouts, swears, yells at me and even says something mad disrespectful. In front of our friends and HIS family too. No one stopped him. I was just standing there getting scolded by him for nothing. The main reason was i was being “slow” or i just ticked him off with a tiny little thing that literally nothing.
  
  For example i was playing Minecraft with him and he got mad at me because i couldn’t play it well. Calling me dumb, slow, useless etc. 
  
  Other case was he couldn’t find his own stuff and got mad at me because I’m the one who always clean up the place and I probably moved it somewhere (later he found it on his own desk where i literally didn’t touch at all lol).
  
  And always blamed me for making him angry…. While it’s literally nothing to get mad about. He is soo chill with his friends but not to me. Little thing i do makes him annoyed and mad.
  
  But when he is in the good mood he’s such a good guy. Help me please. I don’t know wht to do.
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* : How should I deal with his behavior?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'shouts/swears/yells at', 'condition': 'when he is angry'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'a good guy', 'relation': 'is such ', 'condition': 'when he is in the good mood'}]"
482,P0483,1s1rel7,"My gf (30F) and I (31M) have been dating for a few years now and it's been bothering me how she doesn't have any social hobbies or close friends nearby(most are in different cities) or any interest of making new friends. If she doesn't have a friend in town she is either reading books, doomscrolling for hours or just watching Netflix. Thing is I know she loves to go out and have fun but she only enjoys it with people she's familiar with, whether it's friends from college or family but all of the people she knew is no longer in town. For context she does have great career where she interacts with co workers but outside of work, there is no social interactions. For myself I like to stay active, part of sports leagues, etc where I am building a social life. She doesn't guilt me for when I leave the house to do my own thing but it's just depressing to not see her live life more. Often times she will see on social media fun things to do and it's always me who she tries to go with since she doesn't have close girlfriends to ask to go with. We do hang out and do fun things plenty of times but for times I'm not avail to join her she will get fomo and I'll have to be the one to fill the void that she's missing out on doing...I suggested her to make friends or finding social hobbies but she has no interest in doing so even tho I know she would enjoy life much more if she did rather than relying on me. I have brought her to my social events or try to bring her into my hobbies but she's only there for me and not really enjoying the activity so it hasn't been too effective.
  
  TLDR gf has no close friends in same city and no social hobbies or interest on making new friends and im starting to feel pressure that I have to be the source of entertainment.
  
  Any advice or insights would be appreciated. Outside of the social life aspect, things are great but this has been something that has started to make me feel resentful and I'm not sure how to go about it","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': ""doesn't guilt"", 'condition': 'when I go out to do my own thing'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'books', 'relation': 'is either reading ', 'condition': ""if she doesn't have a friend in town""}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'life ', 'relation': 'would enjoy much more', 'condition': 'if she did rather than relying on me'}]"
483,P0484,1s1oix1,"My fiancee (29F) and I (28M) moved abroad, now she is saying she wants to potentially stay forever.
  
  Hello all. A few months ago, my fiancee (29F) and I (28M) moved abroad from our home country, we've been together for seven years.
  
  She is an avid traveller and it has always been her dream to live in another country where travel is cheaper and more easily accessible, and I was happy to oblige that while we were still young. If it was up to me, I don't think I would ever move abroad. Not that I was wholly against the move, but I am more of a family-oriented person and really loved the last city we were in, where I had a lot of good friends and was a short flight from my hometown. 
  
  I'll be honest it has been a difficult adjustment for me. I've had issues with work, some family health troubles back home right before we left, and haven't really had the time to find and make friends yet. But, I knew what I was signing up for and am happy to help my fiancee live out her dream. 
  
  Here's the thing though, we moved on what is initially a two year visa. And, every time we had this discussion, whether it was between us or to our friends and family, we said we would stay the two years of our Visa at minimum and, if we could figure out sponsorship, another 1-2 years after that before moving home. That is the timeline I always thought we agreed to.
  
  Now that we're here, she has started to change her tune. The job she ended up getting out here is potentially interested in keeping her out here and opening a branch, and she has brought up potentially staying long-term (like raising a family, settling down, the works). Not only has she done that, but she's now gone back and said she never really agreed to the 3-4 year plan and always wanted the flexibility to stay as long as she wants.
  
  I am rather taken aback by this, and almost feel like she was pulling the rug out from under me now that we are abroad because she knew I wouldn't agree to stay for that long if we'd talked about it before moving. I think she thinks I will just go along with her now that we're here.
  
  She hasn't made any sort of decision yet, but wants me to basically be open to whatever she decides. The thing is, I'm pretty set on not staying longer than our pre-agreed time here. We're getting ready to plan our wedding very soon and I just feel sick thinking about how much it would suck to lose someone I've spent so much of my adult life with, but also how unhappy I would be to be across the ocean from our families. 
  
  I just don't know if I can live the next few years waiting for the other shoe to drop and her to say she 100% wants to stay abroad forever.
  
  I know the right thing to do is to be honest and up front and tell her I can't commit to that, but I'd feel so bad and am so scared it would be the end of our relationship. How should I bring it up to her and how do I move on if the conversation leaves us at an impasse? 
  
  TLDR: Fiancee and I moved abroad for what was supposed to be 2-4 years as previously agreed. Now that we're here she is saying she wants to potentially stay forever and wants me to agree with whatever decision she comes to down the line. Struggling to decide If it's worth it.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ']abroad', 'relation': ""don't think I would have moved "", 'condition': 'if it was up to me'}, {'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'another 1-2 years', 'relation': 'could stay', 'condition': 'if we could figure out sponsorship'}, {'e1': 'i', 'e2': ' time', 'relation': ""wouldn't agree to stay that long"", 'condition': 'if we had talked about it before moving'}]"
484,P0485,1s1mrfz,"I (29F) recently attended my best friend’s (29F) 10-day wedding, and what should’ve been a happy time has turned into something really confusing and honestly hurtful.
  
  We’ve been close for years (around 11+ years), and over the last couple of years I moved to a different state for work. I’ve changed a bit — I’m more independent now, more vocal, and not as much of a people pleaser as I used to be.
  
  During the wedding, I tried to be there for everything and just go with the flow. I understood it’s her big event, so obviously things won’t revolve around me. But there were small things that kept adding up — like constantly being told to adjust, even basic things like where to sleep. I didn’t react much, but if I said anything even slightly, it seemed to be taken the wrong way.
  
  After the wedding, she confronted me and said I’ve “changed,” that I’m immature, too outspoken, even “Gen Z,” and that I “outshined” her at her own wedding because people were asking about me.
  
  That part really confused me.
  
  For example, she got upset because I complimented her mother-in-law’s breakfast. I’m a foodie and said it genuinely, but she took it as me trying to make an impression and said it should’ve been her moment.
  
  There were also comments from bride's other friend like, “Why are you always trying to act smart?” and “Do you like someone here, is that why you’re trying to impress people?” — which honestly didn’t make sense to me. I was just having normal conversations with people from the groom’s side whenever they spoke to me.
  
  Now I’m also hearing that even photos are being taken the wrong way. In one of the pictures, I’m standing with her family — in one I’m in the center — but I didn’t put myself there, they called me to join. And during important moments, like welcoming the groom, I made sure to step aside.
  
  Another thing that really threw me off was that she questioned me about being “too friendly” with her husband. She asked how long I’ve known him and why I was talking to him like that. For context, I’ve met him a few times before — maybe 3–4 times — and we’ve even spoken on the phone, so it’s not like he was a stranger. I was just being normal and polite.
  
  It felt really strange to be questioned like that, as if there was some kind of intention behind it. Especially because, from what I know, she herself was in touch with her ex even around the wedding time. So the whole thing just felt very confusing and a bit hypocritical to me.
  
  It just feels like normal things I did are being overanalyzed and turned into something negative.
  
  I understand it was her wedding and emotions can run high, but I didn’t expect things to turn into this.
  
  At this point, I feel like something has shifted between us. I’m not sure if this is something that can be talked through or if it’s already too far gone.
  
  How do I approach a conversation with her about this without making things worse, and how do I figure out whether this friendship is worth trying to fix or if I should step back?
  
  
  **TL;DR:** I (29F) feel like my best friend (29F) has an issue with how I behaved at her wedding (saying I “outshined” her, was too outspoken, etc.), even though I didn’t intend anything like that. Things feel off now. How do I talk to her about it, and how do I decide if this friendship is still worth saving?","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'the wrong way', 'relation': 'seemed to be taken', 'condition': 'if I said anything even slightly'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ""people from the groom's side"", 'relation': 'was having normal conversations with', 'condition': 'whenever they spoke to me'}]"
485,P0486,1s1isnu,"We’ve been together almost a year. The relationship started really strong — we spent a lot of time together and everything felt easy.
  
  About 6 months in, we went long distance for university. Since then, it’s been harder. I made a big effort to stay connected — visiting her, being available, supporting her — but she was often busy and more independent.
  
  In December, something shifted (though I only found out later). She recently told me that’s when she realized she doesn’t love me anymore. which is fair enough, we're only 20 after all. However, since then, she’s been more distant, and I’ve been trying to adjust my behavior to make things work.
  
  We’ve had a few issues:
  
  I tried to help her when she was struggling, but she prefers dealing with things alone
  
  I showed up for her in ways I thought were helpful, but she sometimes felt pressured instead
  
  I was going through my own problems and didn’t hide my emotions well, which she felt I was “putting on her”
  
  A week ago, she visited me and told me things don’t feel the same and that she doesn’t know if she wants the relationship. The next day, she said she’s willing to try.
  
  So now we’re in this unclear situation where:
  
  She says she doesn’t love me
  
  She doesn’t know if she wants the relationship
  
  But she also wants to keep trying
  
  One more thing: we recently talked about boundaries with opposite-gender friends, and she said she wouldn’t like one-on-one hangouts. A week later, she went on a one-on-one day trip with a male friend, which confused me.
  
  We have our one-year anniversary next week and are going away together for two days (her idea). I don’t know how to approach it — how to not make her feel pressured or wrong in any way.
  
  My questions is how do I go about things now? I want to make it easy for her, whatever her decision, but until I find out I'm stuck trying to play both sides.
  
  Any honest advice would help.
  
  TL;DR: My (19m) girlfriend (20f) finally said she doesn't love me anymore, and now I'm not sure how to act around her so she's happy","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'tried to help', 'condition': 'when she was struggling'}]"
486,P0487,1s1drsl,"My mom F65 and I F26 have a complicated relationship. She’s very manipulative and my whole life I’ve been walking on shells to avoid hurting her feelings, I cannot express opinions or feelings freely because she’s always the victim and the center of earth, it has honestly been exhausting. I’m in such a good place now, I put an ocean between us and just that already did wonders for my mental health. Now, I live abroad, I’m engaged and expecting my first child due in May. My fiancé M27 is amazing, he gave her a chance but she messed it up with her normal shenanigans that I’m used too but he, coming from a loving and stable family, is not. He’s over her but is still willing to pay for a ticket for her to come for the delivery of the baby and to stay for a month with us (the baby is loved and welcomed but it came as a bigggg surprise and we are living in a one bedroom apartment in a country with a huge housing crisis so space is not something we have at the moment). He’ll be paying for the ticket, the groceries, bills and even bought a sofa cama to accommodate her because she blankly refused to stay anywhere else besides our apartment and manipulated me saying that if she’s staying anywhere else she’s simply not coming.
  
  At first I wanted her to come for a few months but with all the friction with my partner, and honestly the ways she’s been behaving lately, I decided to bring her for a month. So last night we checked the tickets and chose the dates and were planing on buying it tonight, this morning she called and with her characteristic victim voice she uses she said that if she is “such a bother” she rather not to come and represent issues for us (I told her it was too expensive to have her for longer than a month and that’s true but is something we could handle, the main thing is that I don’t know if we can handle her for too long and I’m protecting my mental health and my partner, but, as always, I was afraid of telling her and hurting her). She doesn’t want to come for a month and leave when the baby is “days old” and said that I have my mother in law so I don’t need her.
  
  This has been working for her for years and she is used to always getting her way by manipulating me like that but I had it. Now I know what a loving and stable family is and I don’t want to keep putting up with that.
  
  As I write this I know what the answer is but sometimes you need someone to tell you, I guess… Im just afraid I’ll regret not having her here when the baby comes but when I think on why I want her here the only thing I can think of is “because she’s my mom and she’s supposed to…” besides that is just stress for me, stress I won’t be needing after having a baby.
  
  TL;DR my mom has a long pattern of manipulating me and making everything about her, which has been emotionally exhausting. Now that I‘m in a healthier place, building a stable life with my fiancé, and expecting a baby I’m trying to set boundaries. Despite my fiancé generously offering to host her for a month (even though space and finances are tight), she’s using guilt to push for more or make me feel bad. Im torn between obligation (“she’s my mom”) and protecting my mental health, but deep down I recognize that having her here would likely bring more stress than support, especially during such an important and vulnerable time.","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': 'is not coming to visit', 'condition': 'if she is staying anywhere else'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'would rather not come', 'condition': 'if she is such a bother'}]"
487,P0488,1s1clk8,"Ts might be petty but idk
  
  TL;DR not talking to my girl while being on a call
  
  Hey yall so i am a 18M and she is a 19F that has a girlfriend we have been dating for 7 months. And late at night i saw her texts while i was on a call with my friends and did not feel like texting her. After which she thought i might be sleeping as i didnt text her. But now she asked my guy friend about if the grp was on a call and basically he saved my ass. Now i feel guilty about ignoring her and not talking to her. Talking to her about this might just make her think that i dont enjoy her company which i dooo even though i did not text her. So should I tell her about this or should just ignore it and move on??","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' sleep', 'relation': 'thought I might be at', 'condition': ""after I didn't text her when I saw her message""}]"
488,P0489,1s1b63s,"So my and my boyfriend have been seeing eachother since November and have been officially together for 2 months. When we are together all is good, but I get alot of anxiety not being with him. Because I know I hate relying on texts as communication.
  
  He really isn’t a big texter, and he always says if we go a day without texting each other what’s the big deal? But for me it gives me such a disconnect. We have met in the middle where I give him space during the day as he hates texting during work. Sometimes he messaged me in the evenings or wants a phone call, other times I have to message him first. I get anxious texting him first.
  
  My question is, today I have left his house after being there since Friday. Everything’s good, but I have been getting urges to text him or over thinking on when to. I want him to message me first, but I’m worried if I don’t I won’t hear from him at all. I don’t want to constantly bring this up.
  
  For example last night I brought up the fact we were meant to call during last week and he responded later on saying “can’t talk now”. In my head I freaked out incase I did something so I asked in future if he could just say why so my head doesn’t spiral. I do get exhausted. I’m constantly checking my phone and opening our chat debating on whether to send a message or not.
  
  Edit: he sent a message last week saying he’s very happy being with me and doesn’t understand why I need reassurance when he is goin about his day and is busy. I think I would like a big more effort from him. 
  
  TL;DR my boyfriend hates texting, and doesn’t text much whereas I do. I get anxiety because I don’t know if I’m going to hear from him or not, or if I should message him. Do I accept it if he doesn’t message me first and don’t message him?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him ', 'relation': ""won't hear anything at all from"", 'condition': ""if I don't message him first""}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': ' reassurances', 'relation': ""doesn't understand why i need"", 'condition': 'when he is going about his day and is busy'}]"
489,P0490,1s1aw7n,"I recently had a dramatic life change where I went from basically no consistent social interaction back into a very social environment, and I quickly got hooked on this nice girl I met early on. from there I had this intense desire to develop a deep connection with her, not even necessarily a romantic or sexual one, but i'd really want to talk to her a lot. I've tried to talk to her ""strategically"", which means i often dont talk to her for fear of being too pushy or whatever.
  
  because I'm new and had basically no friends to occupy my social brain during my large amounts of free time, I've been almost ALWAYS thinking about her, except for when I'm doing something super engaging like a challenging video game etc.
  
  I still do talk to others, but I felt like she's the only one I have a desire to make a deep connection with, like I just dont really care much for interacting with anybody else.
  
  the problem is that it's been more than a month now as friends chatting online and in-person, including my various escalation and hangout attempts, and I'm pretty confident she does not like me the way I like her, yet I still feel like I care about her WAY too much.
  
  I've tried pretending like I don't care about her, but then I just ultimately end up feeling super depressed after an hour as I continue thinking of her (don't worry I'm seeing a therapist). there are moments when I feel terrible, then I see she replied to my message, and think to myself that she actually cares about me, then my extreme depression feelings will instantly melt away. we are just friends now, so I don't like how she has that much control over how I feel.
  
  I tried coping saying that whenever I feel that desperate desire to talk to her, I'll instead work on pursuing another woman like by setting up a profile on a dating app or something, but it just feels so hard cause it's like I don't care about becoming close with anyone else.
  
  as you'd probably expect with these extreme, one-sided feelings, I often catch myself feeling wrongfully resentful towards her, like literally just now, while laying in bed, I saw a random Snapchat story she made that just a guy recording her doing something funny, and with no other context I felt so distressed that I couldn't sleep and wanted to write this post instead. I feel resentful like this a lot, over analyzing everything that she does.
  
  I just feel kinda stuck, like I don't know if I should cut off contact with her and deal with feeling bad, or if I should come clean and tell her everything (being real with her in the past has made me feel better, but it feels wrong here, which is why I'm writing this post)
  
  fortunately these feelings have generally gotten a bit easier to deal with lately, but it doesn't help that I'm not really close with anyone at the moment, despite having a good family. I don't really have a best friend or something that I could rely on to hangout with to distract me and laugh etc, so music is my main escape.
  
  tl;dr
  
  obsessively wanting to develop deep connection with girl (not necessarily romantic or sexual), who isn't interested in me, to the point I don't care about being close with anyone else, which is making finding other people harder. she causes me to feel extreme emotions that I don't think are reasonable, and I want to stop this cycle between good feelings (from her attention) and extreme depression+resentment somehow.
  
  Edit: i also think i have other independent mental issues at the moment that change how i feel with this girl.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'another woman', 'relation': 'will work on pursuing ', 'condition': 'whenever I feel that desperate desire to talk to her'}]"
490,P0491,1s1944k,"Me(23M) girlfriend(21F) We have been dating for 3 years and I used to love her in the beginning of the first 6-10 months but after that I began to resent her because of how negative she is, how drained I feel, how I walk on eggshells whenever I am upset about something and I want to voice it to her but I end up feeling fear of what her reaction would be. Every time I would talk about something that upsets me, she would get upset because I am upset then it’s me that ends up apologizing to her because I made her feel upset. She is always negative and talks a lot about death and has an insane fear of planes. she always mentions death every now and then and says” imagine we crash right now and die.”. I am an optimistic type of guy and I always give her advice to be better everyday but I don’t feel like she is taking it at all. Also, I don’t see her as smart because of multiple reasons like deciding not to go to school and then joining a community college after a year and then changing her major so many times to the point she doesn’t know what she wants to do in her life. She always says “ when you (Me) make more money, i am going to be a stay at home wife”. She had chronic illnesses as well to top it all off as well that she has had before we started dating but now it feels so much like I am taking care of her like as if she’s my child. She doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents especially her father. I know I need to break up with her but I am so scared of breaking up with her. She also says” if you break up with me I don’t know what I am going to do with my life, (GRAPHIC WARNING) I will slit my wrists or kill myself” She says it as a joke but I don’t because she used to slit before we got together. We have had good moments and memories but I feel like I genuinely can’t do it anymore. I see that she is thriving and I am just being sucked away of my life because of her
  
  I am scared and I fear breaking up with her and I don’t know what to do.
  
  TL;DR We have been dating for 3 years and I feel drained physically, mentally, and spiritually.
  
  UPDATE: I have broken up with her today and I feel sad but a huge relief. Thank you everyone.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'eggshells', 'relation': 'walk on', 'condition': 'whenever I am upset about something '}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a stay at home wife', 'relation': 'am going to be', 'condition': 'when you make more money'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' my life', 'relation': ""don't know what I am going to do with"", 'condition': 'if you break up with me'}]"
491,P0492,1s18k83,"I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for a year. This past year has had its ups and downs with a lot of personal changes happening like moving states, starting a new job, etc.
  
  Overall, our relationship has been good but my bf started to express to me about 9 months into our relationship that sometimes he gets anxious thoughts about if “the grass is greener on the other side” or the thought of “being with one person for the rest of your life” really freaks him out. He has a history of anxiety and is already on medication for it.
  
  He is successful in his career, has a loving family, and he feels like the last step he needs to complete is marriage/kids. He says he is ready for marriage and a family and he really wants it to be me because we complement each other so well. I told him if he wants to make it work he should seek therapy since it seems like he’s had similar feelings in previous relationships - but these feelings being more intense with me since he’s getting older and is finally in a good place financially to settle down.
  
  Is this relationship worth saving? Has any other man experienced this and was it due to being with the wrong woman or an internal fight that maybe you had to overcome?
  
  \*\*TL;DR; : Should I stay with my partner if he’s having anxious thoughts about long term commitment?\*\*.
  
  EDIT: some more context - he says he has feelings of always looking for the next best thing, even at his work and that’s kinda how his personality is. But he also expresses he loves me and really wants to marry me. Yet he also makes comments about my body and how sometimes he has doubts if he could be with one person forever on the physical aspect. I know I deserve better. It’s just hard to leave when he’s telling me contradicting statements and I truly care for him. I really wanted him to be my person.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'therapy', 'relation': 'should seek', 'condition': 'if he wants to make it work'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'the relationship', 'relation': 'is hard to leave', 'condition': 'when he is telling me contradicting statements'}]"
492,P0493,1s17w20,"Is it bad to leave my bf for not being intimate anymore? I’m a 23F and bf is 29M been together for 3 yrs. When we first got together we were intimate all the time at least had s\*x 2 to 3 times a day up until 6 months after being together and all the sudden stopped when he got a new job, it’s been 1 yr now without s\*x. I have been trying to tell him it’s destroying our relationship by staying or he needs to figure out what’s wrong and communicate but he just won’t. He keeps saying he’s stressed, tired, just doesn’t want to, and when I ask him why he doesn’t want to he says “just because”, and now he doesn’t even really hug me or hold my hand I have to ask but he does have ADHD I feel that’s an excuse bc everytime I ask he says he’s eating, needs to shower, go to the bathroom so it just feels like excuses bc he’s always “doing” something or in a hurry when I try. When he does do things on his own I feel It’s uncomfortable bc it’s rare now that I’m used to asking. I just feel unloved and am craving s\*x that we used to have but I can’t leave bc I love him and he’s good to me but I also live with him and don’t have anywhere else to go if I leave. I don’t want to be wrong for leaving over s\*x bc his ex did that and everyone is telling me to leave that it’s not normal so idk what to do. 
  
  \---
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* : Is it bad to leave my bf for not being intimate? We haven’t had s\*x in a year and I just don’t feel loved anymore.","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'time', 'relation': 'we were intimate all the', 'condition': 'when we first got together'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'anywhere else ', 'relation': ""don't have "", 'condition': 'if I leave'}]"
493,P0494,1s17vdw,"We’ve been together for about a year, and overall he’s a really good guy. He’s never given me a real reason not to trust him, which is why this makes me feel even worse.
  
  
  
  The problem is me. I overthink everything. If he takes longer to reply, follows someone new, or even small things like that, my mind starts going in the worst direction. Sometimes I catch myself checking his social media way more than I should.
  
  
  
  I’m very aware that this isn’t healthy. I know it could eventually push him away, and that’s the last thing I want. He usually reassures me when I bring things up, but I don’t want to depend on that all the time.
  
  
  
  We’ve been together for a year and I really care about him, which is why I want to fix this before it gets worse.
  
  
  
  How do I stop overthinking and feeling this constant anxiety in a relationship when there’s no real reason for it? Has anyone dealt with this and actually gotten better?
  
  TL;DR: I (25F) overthink everything in my relationship with my boyfriend (27M) even though he’s done nothing wrong, and I’m scared I’ll ruin things if I don’t fix it.","[{'e1': 'My mind', 'e2': 'the worst direction', 'relation': 'starts going in', 'condition': 'if he takes longer to reply or follows someone new'}]"
494,P0495,1s16rk2,"I’m not asking for financial advice. I’m asking for relationship advice on how to handle the strain this situation is putting on us.
  
  
  My fiancé (30M) and I (25F) live together. We split rent, groceries, and bills, and we’re engaged. Our lives are very intertwined.
  
  
  About two years ago he got fired from his job. He had another job between then and now for a few months, but due to serious issues (which I don’t want to detail for privacy), he left, and I don't blame him for that situation.
  
  
  Since then we've gotten incredibly broke. We’re constantly asking friends for help. I’m massively grateful to everyone who's helped us, but we’ve taken too much, and it’s still not enough. We’re behind on bills, struggling to afford food, and the stress just wont stop.
  
  
  I love him deeply, I love his family, we share tons of interests, we do everything together, but I'm exhausted. I'm tired of starving, of the stress, of drowning financially while it keeps getting worse and worse with no end in sight. I don't know how much longer I can live like this.
  
  
  I'd feel terrible for leaving him. I could go back to my parents and I know they would take care of me, but I don't know about him. I don't want to leave him, but if I ever did I imagine I'd call and text his family and everyone that's helped us to let them know, and literally beg them to take care of him.
  
  
  For context:
  
  * I work at Walmart. I never went to college or trade school, but I’m trying to learn coding in my free time to get a better job.
  * He has a culinary degree and lots of kitchen experience. He’s also good with IT and has had an IT job before. He’s applying to both IT and kitchen jobs, but nothing has landed yet.
  
  
  
  TL;DR 
  My fiancé (30M) has been mostly unemployed for two years. We’re constantly broke, borrowing money, and struggling to afford food. I love him, but I’m exhausted and don’t know how to keep living like this. I don’t want to leave him, but I also don’t know how to stay. How do I handle this?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'his family and everyone that helped ', 'relation': 'will call and text', 'condition': 'if I ever leave him'}]"
495,P0496,1s1647w,"I (25F) have been seeing a guy (27M) for about a month now. At first it was amazing- thoughtful dates, super affectionate, deep conversations. We connected on such a deep level that it genuinely made me emotional. He said things like “I know what I want and it’s right in front of me” and we talked about doing long distance since we both got new jobs and will be living in different states.
  
  But after around 4 dates, I went to his place (2 hrs away) and stayed for 2 days- it was then that things completely changed.
  
  The vibe just felt… off. He was less attentive, less affectionate, and overall not as warm as he had been before. There were also a few specific moments that really stuck with me.
  
  While we were watching a show together, he said about a woman on screen: “damn she got a fat ass on her too” — which felt really disrespectful to say in front of me, especially when it’s so new too.
  
  At one point we were watching a dating show and he said he “prefers older women but unfortunately ends up with younger” (I’m younger than him), which just felt like a weird and unnecessary comment to make.
  
  We got into a conversation about school/careers, and when I mentioned my doctorate he said: “I’m not calling you doctor, even if we’re in a fire” and “I could go get my doctorate if I wanted to.” It came off really dismissive and kind of insecure.
  
  His humor started to feel more like subtle digs than actual jokes — things like calling me “silly girl” or making comments that felt a little condescending.
  
  He also complained a LOT — about work, people, everything — which started to feel draining, especially compared to how positive and engaging he was at first.
  
  Since then, I’ve just felt myself getting more and more turned off. I still see glimpses of the sweet, intentional guy I met at the beginning (he’ll say things like he misses me, thinks about me, etc.), but after the last time I saw him I feel SO confused. It felt like I was hanging out with a completely different guy and I felt so blind sided.
  
  Now I feel confused because the connection felt so strong at first, but I’m starting to feel irritated by his personality and unsure if I even respect him the same way.
  
  Any advice? Do I just cut it off now? He claims it’s just humor but it feels rude to me…
  
  TL;DR:
  
  Great at first, now he seems rude, negative, and condescending — I’m turned off but confused because he can still be sweet.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'my doctorate', 'relation': 'could go get', 'condition': 'if I wanted to'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'feel so confused', 'condition': 'after the last time I saw him'}]"
496,P0497,1s161lu,"Me (20M) and my girlfriend (19F) are in a college and have been seeing each other for 2 and a half months. The relationship started off very slow. I was hesitant/unaware of how to lead as I was used to dating much more physically and emotionally forward women but I eventually got things moving and we made it official after going on dates for a month. The problem is that dynamic is still very much lacking the depth I desire.
  
  She hasn't gone cold on me but the relationship has just stayed lukewarm. I assumed it would become more intense as time went on but it has been stagnant ever since we made it official. We only see each other around twice a week, the conversational depth is still relatively shallow, and I don't feel like I really know her while I have been making attempts to let her into my world (have her over at my place, invite her to partake in my hobbies, meet my friends). She has made effort to plan dates and see me but I still feel like I'm being kept at a distance am am a minor and completely independent part of her life.
  
  I'm not sure what I should do at this point. I feel weird about bringing this up because I don't want to force a different dynamic if it's not natural. I also don't want to stay in a relationship that doesn't meet my needs. What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated.
  
  TLDR: I feel like she might want a less intense relationship than I do. I don’t wanna stay and be unhappy/force a dynamic she doesn’t want but also don’t want to end it prematurely. What should I do?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a different dynamic', 'relation': ""don't want to force"", 'condition': 'if it is not natural'}]"
497,P0498,1s14s06,"My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. After about the first year, we pretty much stopped going out and doing things together. Most of the time we just stay home or do hobbies that he prefers.
  
  I’ve noticed a pattern whenever we do go out. Things will be fine at first, but then he starts getting irritated over small things like waiting, people around us, or even being hungry. He has ADHD and anxiety (he’s told me this), but he doesn’t really see it as an issue and tends to self-medicate with weed and alcohol instead of getting actual help.
  
  Today I asked him to come with me to a couples event, which I honestly rarely do. I didn’t know how long it would last, but it ended up being about 2 hours. The whole time he complained that it took up the entire day. By the end, he barely talked to me, was sulking, and just scrolling on his phone. People were noticing, and I felt really embarrassed.
  
  I asked if he’d be more comfortable waiting in the car, and he got upset but eventually agreed and left.
  
  When we got home, I tried to talk about it with him calmly. I told him I know it’s probably related to his ADHD/anxiety and not intentional, but it keeps happening anytime we go out. I suggested maybe getting help or finding ways to manage it. He shut it down and got defensive, saying that’s just how he is and he should be allowed to be himself in public as long as he’s not causing a big scene.
  
  This has even happened on my birthday a few times, and it’s starting to make me question if I want this long-term.
  
  For context, he’s very kind and loving when we’re at home and it’s just us. But this issue keeps coming up anytime we go out. Any advice?
  
  TL;DR: My boyfriend gets irritable and shuts down every time we go out, refuses to get help for his ADHD/anxiety, and it’s starting to make me question the relationship. Advice?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a pattern', 'relation': 'have noticed', 'condition': 'whenever we go out'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'is very kind and loving to', 'condition': 'when we are at home and it is just us'}]"
498,P0499,1s13hv3,"Okay my boyfriend and I have been together for three years, we’ve known each other since middle school though. I started to know his family around sophomore year (weren’t dating). His family is very friendly kind and loving they like me I like them. I come from a family of rough necks, respect level wasn’t always there kinda had to raise myself in my siblings. Me and my siblings are very close, but our family as a whole is not.
  
  In his family they are all very close. His parents were always very involved in his life, extremely kind and giving to him and his sister. When I really met his family when we were dating, they were super kind to me. He tells me that they love me again, I like them too. They have never done me wrong. They always make sure you include me. I’m pretty sure our first year of dating I went on a vacation with them, which also fell on my birthday, so I had to spend my birthday with just him and his family. I was extremely nervous about going, but it meant a lot to him so I did it. It wasn’t bad, but I was very awkward and I always kind of feel that way when I’m with them.
  
  Like I said, they are very kind people they always go above and beyond they want to ask all the questions and do all the things for you. That’s something I never had and so sometimes it is very overwhelming for me to be around. Also with them being so close, even though they are so inviting you do kind of feel excluded because they have a very strong bond. With them being so close, they spend every holiday and birthday together, including extended family I have attended about 90% of these events.
  
  Within the last year. I’ve started to express more to my boyfriend that I don’t really want to go and I tell him it’s nothing against his family. It’s not like I don’t like them, but it’s overwhelming for me to be there. I get super shy and hole up. I become a shell of myself almost but I push through and I go because he likes it. He loves it. Very honestly though a lot of the times he won’t even want to go, but he feels obligated to because he’s been doing it all his life, and he works a lot so those are the only times he can see them. Also, because he works so much, they will invite me to hang out with them without him, which I have done before, I do give my fair share of nose to those invitations though, like I said before, it’s a lot for me, especially when I’m alone. Sometimes it feels like his obligation is now mine, which I don’t completely agree with. He’s told me before not wanting to go. It’s not a good enough reason to not go.
  
  My parents don’t live in the same state as us so there’s no problem with us not seeing my family as much. Me and my siblings only get together about once a month, I’m not as picky about him going so there’s no problem there. I’ve split up my holidays to see his family on that day because it means so much to him and he doesn’t see mine. Again, I’m not mad at him for not going because it does not mean as much for me, but I don’t know how to really say this to him without me feeling so guilty.
  
  TL;DR me, and my boyfriend have been together for three years. I have attended a lot of his family events, even though they make me very anxious. Recently I have been expressing I don’t want to as much, and he does not really understand. It’s nothing personal. It just makes me overly anxious. We see his family more than mine also. (Not upset about that)","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'were super kind to', 'condition': 'when I really met his family when we were dating'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'that way(awkward)', 'relation': 'always kind of feel', 'condition': 'when I am with them'}]"
499,P0500,1s115r8,"Ive been best friends with the same guy, J, since middle school - about 25 years. We've always been incredibly close, lived together for a long time, he's over at my house every weekend and I go to his family's Christmas gathering. Last year his aunt, whom I adore, made me my own personalized stocking. We've obviously had our fair share of issues and fights, but we've always been really good at communicating through them and coming out the other side intact. We've also been friends long enough that we are pretty intuitive for the others actions and behaviors. Which is why im even more confused here. 
  
  So a few months ago, Js roommate moved out due to a family emergency. J knew this was going to happen for about six months. We discussed it many times. J neglected to take any actions like finding a new roommate or other arrangements. He is now living alone in a three bedroom house that he absolutely cannot afford. He's going super broke real quick (which is really abnormal for him as he's always been very good with money). To the point where I had to send him money for food last week - which I've never had to do. But obviously was happy to. I also meal prepped him about 15 home cooked meals, and bought a bunch of easy to eat stuff (pop tarts and eggos and stuff). He was supposed to pick all the food up today, so added confusion and hurt. 
  At one point about a month ago he was expressing to me how stressed and overwhelmed he was feeling about everything. So I offered to step in and help. He was thrilled. 
  (Little side note: J and I both spent most of our 20s battling severe mental health issues - anxiety and depression for him, bipolar for me. We have trauma bonded over it, and I felt it made us closer and feel more understood by the other. We have both been in much better situations the last few years. We both take meds and see therapists, and continue to be open with the other regarding any issues that arise. I know his mental health is a part in this, I just can't figure out how it fits in.)
  So, I started forming a plan. I used to be a housing navigator and am very good at figuring out situations like this. So I started looking for places. He never followed through with calling them or going to see them. This was right before his roommate moved out, so I think he wasn't aware yet how impactful this new situation would be. After about a month, I asked him, and he said he was going to go live with his aunt. 
  Wonderful! His aunts a wonderful lady. I offered to help facilitate the move. Again, he was thrilled. This is where it gets kind of weird. I pulled some strings, got us a truck and driver, a group of people to help him pack and physically move, I even enlisted a friend of mine who is a house keeper to come deep clean his house after he left. I told him multiple times that we needed to nail down plans and times and dates. He constantly came up with an excuse 'when I get home from work, oh I just took my sleeping med'. He is constantly evading the question. So I put a pin in that. 
  Three days ago, another close friend of mine said she was looking for someone to take over her lease. It was perfect! Nice apartment in a nice part of town. Affordable. No security deposit or application fee. I went to tell J about it and he said we could talk about it Sunday (today) when he came over. Except he never showed up (or get all the nice food I made). And he won't talk about it over text. 
  I'm just, confused. And honestly hurt. I'm trying to move mountains for this man, and he can't even tell me when he needs to get out by. I'm trying to be a good friend, but I just have no idea what to do. 
  
  Tl;dr: best friend absolutely has to move. I'm trying to help him, but he isn't really letting me","[{'e1': 'we ', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'could talk about', 'condition': 'when he came over'}]"
500,P0501,1s0zt6i,"tl:dr she has been making time for other people but not for me
  
  My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months now and things have been going well. We will have some disagree here or there but over small stuff but it’s never turned into an argument. Here is where I need advice. She is finishing college, I understand she is busy. My birthday recently passed and we were going to do something together for it but we weren’t able to because she was busy. This past weekend I was going to be near her apartment and stop by and see her for a little bit but she said it wouldn’t be a good idea because she was stressed about school stuff and was busy and I understood that. She told me how busy she would be over this weekend but now she’s able to out with one of her “coworkers” if you can call them that? I’m not worried about her cheating but I just feel like lately I’ve been put on the back burner while she makes time for other people. I need advice desperately on what to do. If anyone needs anymore information please ask I will answer as soon as I can. Thanks","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'will asnwer as soon as possible for', 'condition': 'if anyone needs anymore information'}]"
501,P0502,1s0z4tk,"My boyfriend (M29) and I (F25) have been together for about a year and half. It started off just as fun and something new and not so serious. We both were pretty slow burners. He has some commitment issues and I guess because of that it caused me to hold back as well. We never actually labeled the relationship as “boyfriend and girlfriend”. But we were spending holidays, vacations and friend events together. So it just sort of became assumable at that point for the both of us. 
  
  We didn’t really talk about our relationship a lot or what we were doing or what we wanted. It was very surface level. Things were still good though and it seemed we were progressing in our relationship. Slowly opening up more. 
  
  Fast forward to now. I’ve been dealing with some depression and anxiety..I’ve dealt with it before but it’s worse than it’s ever been. I failed some exams a few months back and it really took a toll on me and my mental health. I realized that path didn’t align with me right now. I’ve always struggled with career and where I fit in and what’s going to give me purpose. I’ve been unemployed now for 2 months and kind of just frozen. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what’s going to make me happy. I’ve disappointed the people around me and that hurts..
  
  I started sabotaging our relationship without meaning to, pushing him away instead of admitting to him what I’ve been feeling. It took me awhile and after realizing I’m really going to lose him, i finally opened up. Explained to him where my head was and the effect it’s taken on me. I feel a lot of shame and disappointment in myself. Especially after saying it out loud. Of course he was supportive and understanding but he was also frustrated. I do understand his frustration and I can feel it whenever I’m with him and it doesn’t feel good. I’ve been trying to figure things out but I’ve been failing. I thought opening up to him would give me a sense of relief but it didn’t. 
  
  Now we have gone from talking everyday and seeing each other every few days to barely talking and maybe seeing him once a week. This has caused me even more anxiety. I’ve been sort of just matching his energy, while also shutting down again. 
  
  I guess this is where I’m conflicted. There’s just been a big shift and of course I want to see him and spend time with him, but at the same time I don’t because I can just feel the weight and it makes me more ashamed. I miss him and I love him deeply, but part of me is unsure if I should let him go. He’s made some comments and statement that left me taken back on whether he still wants to pursue this and I fear after laying everything onto him he wouldn’t have the heart to leave me. It’s just hard. 
  
  The anxious part of me is scared to lose him and scared of seeing him move on. Then this other part of me thinks he deserves to and shouldn’t have to deal with this. I don’t know if that part is just the depression talking. 
  
  I know that my mental health and getting back on track is the most important thing right now, I’ve been trying to keep my focus there but my heart just also hurts knowing I might have ruined something so good.. 
  
  TL;DR
  
  I love my boyfriend and what we’ve been building, but I’ve been dealing with depression lately and it’s caused some distance. I’m unsure if I should let him go.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'his frustration', 'relation': 'can feel', 'condition': 'whenever I am with him'}]"
502,P0503,1s0xoi5,"Hi everyone, I need some advice.
  
  My partner and I have been together for almost 4 years, and one recurring issue is that she's naturally very flirty with everyone. I love her and I trust that she loves me, but when she flirts with other people in front of me, I feel really uncomfortable-honestly, sometimes even humiliated and disrespected.
  
  We tried setting a boundary where she wouldn't flirt in front of me, and that worked for a while. But she later told me it made her feel like I didn't accept her for who she is or trust her.
  
  Recently, I met a very flirty friend who explained that for some people, flirting is just playful and doesn't mean genuine interest. That helped me understand my partner better-I do believe her when she says it doesn't mean anything.
  
  But a friend asked me something that stuck: ""Are you okay with this 20 years from now? It's probably going to keep happening."" And that really shook me. I do see a future with her-I want to be with her in 20 years-but imagining myself feeling this way over and over again sounds exhausting. And there are so many other amazing things about her that I don't want to end the relationship just because I'm insecure :((
  
  So now I feel stuck: I want to work on my insecurity and learn to accept this as part of who she is, but I don't even know how to act when she does this in front of me.
  
  Any advice on how to handle this in a healthy way? Like, how can I actually react in those situations? I have a very expressive face, so it's pretty obvious when something bothers me haha.
  
  TL;DR: My girlfriend flirts with others in front of me. I feel disrespected but it's part of her personality, I trust her. I wanna stop feeling insecure in those situations, advice on how to act in those kinds of scenarios and how to overcome my insecurities.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'feel really uncomfortable', 'condition': 'when she flirts with people ion front of me'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': 'believe', 'condition': ""when she says it doesn't mean anything""}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'scenarios', 'relation': ""don't know how to act in those"", 'condition': 'when she does this in front of me'}]"
503,P0504,1s0s78g,"Me and my Gf, both 18 and in our last school year, are together for a bit over 2 years now. Even though we're ""very"" young we don't have that much intimacy. Right now it's about 1-2x a month, but we see eachother atleast every weekend, so roundabout 3-4 days a week. As it is our last school year we often don't have that much free time, which is one of the reasons we both recognise. But I often feel like she has time for social media, movies and so on but when it comes to intimacy she's suddenly very stressed and doesn't have any time. We talked often about it, as it is on my mind for over a year give or take, but nothing really changes. When we have school breaks we often spend nearly every day with eachother and even without the stress nothing changes. She also says that she will ""need"" it more when we have school/stress again, but the exact opposite when we have school/stress. I try not to pressure her and if she feels so she tells me as I don't want that. When we are intimate, I make sure she enjoys it and we do things she wants to do and compromise on those. There aren't any kinks or other untold things between us that would suggest something is missing for her. She lately mentioned that it isn't that she doesn't want it but she feels like it would be more on her mind if we had more dates etc. . While I don't have anything against more dates/duo activities I feel, like it wouldn't change anything. When we have dates it stays the same. She is either too tired or not in the mood. Her cycle also doesn't influence it that much. While I notice some patterns (e.g. the videos she sends me) there isn't any real change. She also suggest it as a wager or ""promises"" it sometimes but I can't think of a time where she actually kept her promise.
  Other than intimacy our relationship is great and if there are any other problems we find a solution very quickly. 
  Is there anything I can do or talk about with her? 
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* : I (M18) would like to be intimate more often with my gf (F18). Any advice?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'is suddenly very stressed', 'condition': 'when it comes to intimacy'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'will need it more', 'condition': 'when we have school stress again'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'sex', 'relation': 'make sure she enjoys ', 'condition': 'when we are intimate'}, {'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'her mind', 'relation': 'would be more on', 'condition': 'if we went on dates more'}]"
504,P0505,1s0pbsb,"So my boyfriend and I are both 16 and we've been together for a year and a half, hoping for forever. Thay may be wishful thinking but we're generally good at solving disputes and communicating. As of late my mom has been rather critical and judgmental of our relationship for one reason or another. She's always liked my bf, thinking he's a bit rambunctious and loud but a nice kid. My bf and I have a pretty set routine at this point, we hang out at my house after school, make ramen to share, and play pokemon. My mom is a stay at home mom so she supervises us or whatever. 
  
  Lately shes been saying how he does too much for me, ex making me snacks, carrying my backpack, and now buying me a couple things. A couple months ago he started insisting on carrying my backpack when we walk home after school, and I don't have an issue with it, if he wants to its really sweet to me. Same with making food, I get the couch ready with a bunch of blankets and plushies and pull up a game/show on the TV while he makes noodles, thats just how things work for us. 
  
  He recently bought me a really cute wearable blanket, and for some reason my mom is pissed about it. She's been fine with and encouraged me to buy him stuff for no reason in the past, but she now has some issue with him getting me something. We went to the mall yesterday and he bought us matching bracelets, something else that pissed off my mom for some reason. 
  
  My first reaction is to be annoyed and pissed off, it's not my fault she got married to a man she hates, she shouldn't be salty that I'm happy and in love and she's not. But I feel like I could be overlooking something. She's never told me she thought anything badly of my bf and she has in the past with other friends/partners. She's just really weirdly judgemental all the sudden. ​I'll agree that my bf does a lot for me, but I do a lot for him, and why would I date someone if they're not obsessed with me?
  
  tldr: my moms gotten really judgemental about my relationship with my bf basically overnight. I have no clue why because it's really come out of nowhere","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'my backpack', 'relation': 'started insisting on carrying', 'condition': 'when we walk home after school'}]"
505,P0506,1s0l72q,"I (26M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (26F) for almost 2 years. For the first 1.5 years, everything felt balanced and natural — we had a strong emotional connection, regular physical intimacy, and both of us were putting in effort. Communication was mutual: we texted, called, and showed affection consistently.
  
  Over the past few months, things have changed significantly. She told me that she no longer feels sexual desire. It’s not just a lower libido — she says she doesn’t want sex or even sexual kissing. At the same time, she insists that she still loves me, doesn’t want to lose me, and even cried saying she’s afraid I might leave.
  
  However, her behavior has changed. She rarely initiates communication anymore, our conversations feel shorter and less engaged, and physical affection has decreased a lot. Kissing feels minimal compared to before. At the same time, there are mixed signals — she still holds my hand when we’re together and sometimes behaves warmly in person.
  
  She is generally a depressive person and often feels emotionally drained, which I try to take into account. Because I felt the growing distance, I started initiating more, but over time I began to feel rejected and insecure. Recently, I stopped initiating to see what would happen, and now we barely communicate — sometimes 1–2 days pass without contact, which never used to happen.
  
  At this point, it’s not only about sex or physical intimacy. What hurts most is that her initiative, warmth, and effort seem to be disappearing, and I feel like I’m the only one trying to maintain the relationship. I still love her, but being in this situation is making me feel worse over time.
  
  TL;DR:
  
  Girlfriend says she loves me but has lost sexual desire and stopped initiating communication or affection. I feel like I’m the only one putting in effort and the relationship is fading. I actually just want to hear other opinions about that situation because I’m really confused","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'my hands', 'relation': 'still holds', 'condition': 'when we are together'}]"
506,P0507,1s0jbgo,"Hi. I’m F31 and my partner is M32, we’ve living together for few years. Over the past year, he went through a difficult financial period, and I covered all of our shared expenses — rent, food, our two dogs. Recently, he got a well-paid job, while now I’m currently unemployed. Now he’s planning to move to neighboring country and it would be cost 2000-3000. The issue is decision seems to me entirely based on his own needs and timeline, not something included my plans. I have plans that I’ve delayed, because of this really hard year - I own a show-dog with and I’ve been preparing to breed her. I already have agreements, and I postponed this for about six months because of supporting him last year. When I ask him how this move is supposed to work for me, I don’t get clear answers. I suggested adjusting the timing so I could follow through with my plans first, but he said now isn’t the time. He need comfort working place. And hey, maybe next autumn or year? If I move, I’d be in a new country where: I have no family (my elderly mother and 95-year-old grandmother are here), I stil no job, I would be financially dependent on him at first, My personal plans - breeding my dog and building a small kennel are not taken into account. He explicitly said he doesn’t want to build his life around my goals. He also said that while he owes me money, he doesn’t owe me his life. From his perspective, I’m being unreasonable and acting like a spoiled child who can’t support her “wants"". From my perspective, I don’t want to relocate and become fully dependent on someone who doesn’t treat our relationship as something to plan around. Is it possible to find a middle ground in this situation where both partners can pursue their goals?
  
  tl;dr BF want to moving for another country and wanting for delayed my plans","[{'e1': 'i', 'e2': 'clear answers', 'relation': ""don't get"", 'condition': 'when I ask how this move is supposed to work for me'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a new country ', 'relation': 'would be with no family and job in', 'condition': 'if I move'}]"
507,P0508,1s0esjs,"My relationship has been full of ups and downs constantly since he’s cheated on me in college. (He has a kid now but that’s a story for another time. Keep in mind he has cheated on me once but has made us go on and off for some time so he can fuck people without it being “cheating”) he recently came down to see me for his birthday and I took off a week of work. He promised me he would spend time with me but he ended up spending all his time with his friends. (Who dislike me) I got to spend two nights with him from 10pm to 10am. and most of that time was him being sleep before waking up to leave me to hangout with his friends. Mind you we see each other once a year.
  
  I told him I wanted to spend more time with him on his birthday but he just told me “it’s also my life” so now idk if I’m being clingy or just want time with my boyfriend. Now to the main part of the story that has me convinced I should drop him. He was sharing a hotel room with me and a friend who he had fucked back in high school. Okay great they fucked and are no longer a thing I don’t care. But he does things that push my boundaries. We were in our bed and he invited her to cuddle with us. Next thing I know he asks her to cuddle with us. And awkwardly agreed so I didn’t feel like a bummer. Now I’m sharing my boyfriend with a girl who he used to fuck. He walked around the hotel room naked. Even touched her in a sexual way. But they both seem to laugh it off like this was normal.
  
  I’m not a very confident guy, so I’ve been lightly bringing up how I feel about our relationship and our boundaries. But when the conversation is over I kinda get brushed off or he tells me it won’t happen again (it happens again). I’ve recently brought up how he has tender on his phone and he says “there’s a setting where I can just look for friends” I just shrug it off and blame my trust issues. He constantly makes me feel like I’m not enough to him by making sexual comments about others in acts to “make me jealous” or as a joke. (This story could go on for ever so I’ll drop this off here. AM I CRAZY for not having trust in him no matter how much he tells me he changed. Or should I set clear boundaries and if it is crossed again I’ll be leaving?)
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* : my boyfriend doesn’t respect my boundaries. Ditched me on his birthday for his friends, and thinks being openly sexual with an ex in front of me is a joke.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'kinda get brushed off', 'condition': 'when the conversation is over'}]"
508,P0509,1s0chhc,"We've been married for almost ten years with two kids. When we were dating the sex was so affectionate and heated but after marriage it started to cool down. I (M) wanted to be very active and do a lot of positions and stuff but she is keep focusing on orgasm as soon as possible. She doesn't like me lick but I luv to do that. She is keep insisting on certain position to get to orgasm and lately she is using her hand to stimulate the clit.
  
  When she was preg , I was super excited about having sex with no protection like everyday but we had it only once in the second preg and zero i the first.
  
  I started thinking of talking to her and ask if she doesn't have strong sex drive, and not willing to do anything about it. then I can find friends with benefit or something else.
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\*But I don't want to hurt my family too.
  
  Please tell me what should I do.","[{'e1': 'The sex', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'was so affectionate', 'condition': 'when we were dating'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'sex with no protection', 'relation': 'was super excited about having', 'condition': 'when she was preg'}]"
509,P0510,1s061sj,"We’ve been together for almost 9 months now. I want to clarify that he does ask me how am I, how was my day, how was uni or dance or any other activity I do and we do discuss many things and topics. But when I find myself actually telling him about something (example something that happened at my dance studio) he will just comment something general and then change the topic. Sometimes I want to talk about my uni and he never takes that seriously he’s just telling me not to overthink anything and everything will be fine. Then sometimes I may be telling him something and he will remember something of his own and the conversation shifts. When he talks about his interests I always listen and ask questions and Im really curious anyway. But when we are talking about me and my interests the conversation lasts significantly shorter. Naturally the best way to solve it would be me telling him how I feel but I think I’m overeacting and don’t know how to do approach this.
  
  
  tl;dr
  
  Bf prefers talking about his interests and overshadows me in our conversations considering my interests “not serious” enough to worry","[{'e1': 'he', 'e2': 'something ', 'relation': 'will just generally comment ', 'condition': 'when I find myself actually telling him about something'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'questions', 'relation': 'always listen and ask', 'condition': 'when he talks about his interests'}, {'e1': 'The conversation', 'e2': 'his', 'relation': 'lasts significantly shorter than', 'condition': 'when we are talking about me and my interests'}]"
510,P0511,1s03by8,"I've (20m) been with my girlfriend (20f) for four years - since we were 16. My first serious relationship, and at one point I really thought she was the love of my life and really saw everything happening with her. But as we've grown up, I think this relationship is deeply unhealthy and hurting both of us, despite the fact that I really love her.
  
  I've been unhappy for a while, but we have had to go long distance for a bit and this is really showing up all our problems. I think she's really codependent on me, and it feels like I'm basically responsible for her emotions and happiness. I'm really putting all my energy into this - we text all the time, call every night I'm free, and it's a lot, but the worst thing is that I never seem to be enough for her. We argue quite a bit and it's always started by her, because I don't meet some expectations - I fall asleep when we're talking late at night, I'm with friends a bit later than I told her (like even 10 minutes delay can set her off), if I don't sound interested enough on the phone, etc etc. It's better when we're together but it still feels like I'm not enough. But I tend to convince myself I'm wrong, that we're happy and I love her. It's like I'm in this loop of being unhappy but then when I get close to leaving all I remember is the good and how much I love her.
  
  I've tried to discuss these issues (although maybe I should have more) but honestly I don't think she listens to me and I haven't seen real improvement in her. More exhausting, I'm always the one expected to 'wrap up' or resolve our fights, even if she did something wrong and I say it to her like she'll give a poor apology and I end up comforting her and moving on. I just don't think she takes me seriously, for one example I suffer quite a bit with anxiety and last time I saw her we went to a restaurant, and I got a bit confused about how the ordering system worked and was kind of loitering around waiting and not doing anything. Instead of helping me or trying to comfort me, she just got pissed at me for not doing what she said and then I had to make things up to her.
  
  Maybe this post doesn't really make much sense, but I needed to vent. I'm worried I'm throwing a good thing away because she really does love me but at this point I'm totally exhausted. I just feel so bad because I know how much it's going to hurt her and it's a bit out of the blue for her, and also the thought of actually doing it kills me. The past two days I've just been so anxious and sick in bed crying constantly and I feel so awful. There was a time where all I wanted was for her to be the one for me, but now it just causes me so much pain and I want it all to stop, I just can't do it. Maybe someone has similar experience or something, idk, I just feel like I'm going crazy.
  
  tldr: my relationship is causing me immense anxiety but I'm not strong enough to leave and can't convince myself I'm doing the right thing","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'fall asleep', 'condition': 'when we are talking late at night'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' her', 'relation': 'remember all the good and how much I love', 'condition': 'when I get close to leaving'}]"
511,P0512,1s01ktr,"My friend and I are both 18 F and seniors in high school. We have been friends since kindergarten and I don't know how to break it off. I have been trying to subtly hint I don't wish to be friends with her anymore for a while now and she still hasn't gotten the hint. I really do not want to go into the reasons as to why I don't want to be friends with her anymore, but I promise it is justified. 
  
  She confessed her her feelings to me at around fifth or sixth grade. I rejected her but it is still very obvious she has a crush on me which makes this even more difficult. 
  
  I also apologize if this isn't worded the best. 
  
  tl;dr I don't have very good communication skills and need help with ending a long term and complicated friendship.","[{'e1': 'i', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'apologize', 'condition': ""if this isn't worded well""}]"
512,P0513,1s00yq4,"My boyfriend (40m) and me (34f) have been together for 8 years. We have to sons 3y and 9 months.
  
  I have never loved him. But because of different reasons I never left or could leave. Now I’m at a point that he drains every positive energy out of me. He drains me. He has no humor, he talks a lot, mostly about himself and in arguments and he never stops. He has 0 empathy. Example: my job let me know in my maternity leave (live in Netherlands) that my job was no longer there for me and they had no idea what I was going to do. 6 month in they still had nothing for me and tried to give me all kids of chores. This in combination with post partum really took a toll on my mental health. In an argument he said: if you are as terrible at work as you are here, I understand that they want to get rid of you.
  
  They gaslighting and constant nagging is killing me. I want to leave but feel like I can’t for my kids. But constantly exposing them to a father shouting at their mom and fights, isn’t that even worse? They are so young. Taking care of them alone during the week would really be difficult to manage. What should I do?
  
  TL;DR: my boyfriend only costs me energy and insults me and is not there for me on any emotional aspect. We have 2 kids and I want to leave but they are so young and taking care of them alone during the week is going to be hard. But fighting and a shouting father is also damaging isn’t it? What should I do?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ' you', 'relation': 'understand that they want to get rid of', 'condition': 'if you are as terrible at work as you are here'}]"
513,P0514,1rzyoy1,"hi, i’m 22 F and i’ve been in a relationship for 3 years, we don’t live together, he 23 M has dual nationality and last year he decided to go spend some time in his other country to see what life is like there, we agreed it would be around a year and i would visit him, after a few months i was going through a bad emotional period and told him i couldn’t handle the distance anymore, in the end we didn’t break up because we agreed on a clear date for his return and he reassured me he would stick to it
  
  during that time he had a work party where he drank a lot, he sent me photos and videos and in some he was surrounded by girls and dancing, it made me uncomfortable but he said nothing happened so i let it go, later i saw on ig that he was following several girls who didn’t follow him back, i don’t use ig because it often feels fake to me and kind of like tinder 2 but i still checked out of curiosity, when i asked he said they asked him to follow them and he didn’t think much of it, later he unfollowed them without me directly asking, time passed, he came back and things calmed down but recently i saw another video from that same party where he was hugging several girls in a “just friends” way and i also noticed he sometimes replies to girls’ stories with normal things nothing explicit
  
  now he’s again following girls who don’t follow him back and that bothers me, not because of one specific action but because of the need to seek interaction with other women, it makes me question if what i give him isn’t enough or if i’m just overthinking, aside from that he’s a very good partner caring hardworking we have future plans and we’ve both made important sacrifices for the relationship, i would even consider pausing my career for a few years moving to his country and working a more basic job while he stabilizes or starts something, which for me means temporarily putting aside my professional growth my current stability and my environment, i don’t see it as something negative but it is a big decision that would only make sense if the relationship is truly solid and worth it long term, i don’t know if i’m being unreasonable or if this is actually something i should take seriously i’m looking for an impartial opinion 
  
  te pide un resumen corto al final (tl;dr), puedes poner algo así sencillo y en tu estilo:
  
  tl;dr my bf keeps following and interacting with girls on ig in ways that make me uncomfortable, even though he’s a good partner overall and we have serious future plans, i’m not sure if i’m overthinking or if it’s a real red flag","[{'e1': 'The decision', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'would only make sense to', 'condition': 'if the relationship is truly solid and worth it long term'}]"
514,P0515,1rzygsc,"Me and my bf have been together for 2 years, I want to believe he tries his best but I feel like I’m constantly being disappointed by him. He’s nice and a good person but ive never been attracted to him like he is to me. He’s consistently lazy never wants to go on dates or when I plan them and we do go out, he isn’t excited or enthusiastic and makes me feel like a burden. If I ever bring this up to him he gets upset and I end up having to comfort him instead of talking about it and being on the same page about what we want in a relationship. We moved in together 10 months ago and things started to mend between us but recently I feel like we’re just drifting apart while sleeping in the same bed. It’s got to a point where I feel happier without him but we’re contracted to live here together for another year so I feel like I’m trapped in this relationship that I’m unhappy in.
  
  He doesn’t remember what I like or cook, clean or like to call me although he calls his friends all day. We split the grocery bill but he eats the majority of it as well as gifts from my family and friends, again if I try to talk to him about this he just gets upset. As well as this he’s always spending all his money on booze so I often have to foot the bill for things as well as not receiving gifts on anniversary’s or valentine’s day.
  
  Currently it’s 8pm and we’ve not spoken to each other all day, we’ve not argued or anything i just feel like i’m being ignored. He wakes up after 2pm and just plays games with a headset on even though he knew I had a date planned for us today. I Would just break up with him but again with the flat contract as well as I don’t know if I should just put up with it, finding someone new is hard and scary and just settling with him is easier.
  
  Sorry if this is a vent I just want some advice on what I should do.
  
  TL;DR i’m dating someone immature but there’s much worse out there","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'a burden', 'relation': 'makes me feel like', 'condition': 'when I plan dates and we do go out'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'gets upset at', 'condition': 'if I ever bring this up to him'}]"
515,P0516,1rzu7lj,"I (23M) have been in a year-long LDR with my boyfriend (24M). Whenever we fight, he withdraws and rarely reaches out. I’m the one who texts him to fix stuffs For example, he once ignored me for 2 days over me leaving him on seen, and today, when I said I was stressed over something, he made dismissive comments/ rage baiting which I didn’t wanna hear, I wanted a few words like “it’ll be okay and stuffs” instead of supporting me, he said “what was my fault?” “I rage baited you see? Now you’ll start doing things instead of stressing” I got mad cuz I just wanted him to uplift me. I said I’m hanging up and not to talk to me again. It’s been what 8 hours, I didn’t get a call nor did I get a text. Each conflict goes by with him almost never reaching out to fix the problem, it’s always me who puts the relationship first.
  
  I feel anxious, miss him, but also hurt and unsupported. Is this normal conflict behavior? How can I handle this without constantly chasing him? Please knock me back into my senses cuz I’ve lost it all.
  
  TL;DR - LDR boyfriend (24 M) ignores me after fights, rarely reaches out, and dismisses my stress. I care and miss him but feel unsupported. Normal behavior?","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'rarely reaches out', 'condition': 'whenever we fight'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'dismissive comments', 'relation': 'made', 'condition': 'when I said I was stressed over something'}]"
516,P0517,1rzpoci,"After being in a what the kids call a ""situationship"", I started dating a guy, let's call him Leo. Leo and I were not official and exclusive, but we were both clear with our intentions of being in a long term relationship; it just never got to that point. About two months after meeting, I tried to call it off. My past situationship was my friend, in my circle, and although we were not involved anymore, I could NOT get over him.
  
  As soon as I realized this was affecting how I saw and treated Leo, I decided to try to end things. After our conversation, he began texting me to relitigate the conversation.
  
  He started saying that I “never cared, never tried”, etc. He said that “If what you thought was true the concept of ‘oh I have a ember for this person but my love is much stronger for this person but since they both exist I must end things with everything’ would make sense, but it doesn’t.” In my mind, that concept makes complete and total sense. Leo also said that I was “never committed because the feelings and reservations you possessed regarding someone else were sufficient for you to not want to be with me”. Now if I was IN a committed relationship, I could see his argument for how the commitment wasn’t genuine. But I wasn’t. I tried to end it. In my opinion ANY feelings for someone else would make me not want to be in a relationship with Leo, to which he said that “Life isn’t black and white like that”. He also said that I’m implying that I have “absolutely zero agency in overcoming any feelings you may possess”. When I said I do have agency to overcome it, hence the breakup, he said “What are you overcoming if you quit at the first conflict?”. He then went on to talk about how relationships don’t have to happen when everyone is perfectly established and healthy, and that they take time and work.
  
  Do I try to repair things with him and stay in the relationship? Focus less on healing alone? To me, it just seems so nuts to continue anything with him while experiencing intense heartbreak OVER ANOTHER PERSON. But maybe my view of relationships is unhealthy, so I came here to ask.
  
  TLDR; Am I being avoidant by wanting to end a relationship while dealing with feelings for someone else? Is it really not that black and white? Should I try to make this work, even if I'm not perfectly established or ""over"" the past?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'his argument', 'relation': 'could see ', 'condition': 'if I was in a committed relationship'}, {'e1': 'Relationships', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': ""don't have to happen"", 'condition': 'when everyone is perfectly established and healthy '}]"
517,P0518,1rzp5xz,"ive been with my bf for about 1.5 years now we’re turning 2 in june and ever since last december we’ve hit a rough patch since i caught him emotionally cheating on me by being too invested in one of his girl friends. when i confronted him back then he agreed to cut her off and seemed genuine in wanting to rebuild trust and keep the relationship hence i stayed and gave him a second chance. but boy i didnt realise the toll it would take on me — since i found out while scrolling on his phone i now find myself being unable to even touch his phone out of this severe fear that i’d catch him cheatinf again and i would feel the same pain back then, and yet theres always this nagging feelinf that if he could do it once he could do it again (even if it wasnt the same girl). this kind of led to me having very bad sleep issues where i couldn’t fall asleep for the past 6 months and when i did i would wake up with nightmares of him and another girl, and on most nights i cried myself to sleep thinking about this. now he doesnt know any of this (the impact his actions has on me) and he thinks that we’re all good and has burried this behind us which is why ive been trying my best to ignore my feelings and move on but just today i realised he contacted her in january this year and he even talked about how he was grateful she was very open with him and that he just felt that the only problem was him overstepping his boundaries. he also said that ahe could continue sharing her problems in their common friendgroup groupchat and he would respond accordingly EVEN AFTER TELLING ME HE’D cut her off. i honestly cant stop crying right now he doesnt know i found out and im thinking if i should end things with him because honestly i think i really need to breakup to heal mentally and emotionally since im showing signs of ptsd( sorry for self diagnosing)
  
  tldr: boyfriend cheated should i breakup","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'her off', 'relation': 'agreed to cut', 'condition': 'when I confronted him'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'it ', 'relation': 'could again do', 'condition': 'if he did it once'}, {'e1': 'i', 'e2': 'nightmares', 'relation': 'would wake up with', 'condition': 'when I sleep'}]"
518,P0519,1rzlzz9,"Hello everyone,
  
  First of all I know this is a childish post and problem but still i feel miserable. Can someone please explain to me wtf is his problem and am I doing something wrong? 
  
  So actully my ex boyfriend but we are still seeing each other, talking and everything has a problem with me because im going to a birthday trip in January in Finland to see nothern lights because that is my friends wish. I would go with couple of girlfriends and 2 of them have a boyfriend that will go with us. He got so mad when i told him and said that we are done for life. I tried to calm him down and communicate with him why would that be a problem. He said that he doesnt want to be with a girl who will go on a trip without him and fuck with others ( as i said there will be 2 boys who are boyfriends of my gfs) and do some other shit which ofc i wouldnt and neither is in my plan to meet someone there and do something like that. Is there a way to fix this or do I just let him go? 
  
  \*\*TL;DR;\*\* : Basiclly my ex bf but we still hang out has a problem with me going to a birthday trip bcs he thinks i would be with someone eles or something eles, he didnt want to explain.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'got so mad at', 'condition': 'when I told him I was going on a trip'}]"
519,P0520,1rzklsp,"`**TL;DR; : l**.`Hi everyone, I’m (20F) looking for some outside perspective on a recurring communication issue with my boyfriend (26M).
  
  Recently, I got invited to go to my friend’s beach house, which is something I haven’t been able to do in over a year and I’ve honestly been hoping for another invitation for a long time.
  
  
  
  The issue is that it landed on a day my boyfriend and I already had plans. He has one day off week because for the last month he has been working super hard, and we had plans to make dinner together. 
  
  
  
  When I told him about it, I was honest that I felt sad about not being able to go, but I didn’t ask him if I could go or say I was going to cancel on him. He was the one who told me it was okay and that I should go.
  
  
  
  I do want to acknowledge that I understand how bringing it up *could* come across as me indirectly asking or being a bit manipulative, but that genuinely wasn’t my intention. It’s honestly just a habit for me to tell him everything going on in my life, even small details. In fact, he’s gotten upset with me before for *not* sharing enough, like the other day he was bothered by the idea that I might leave out details about my day or things happening with my friends. So I’ve been trying to be as open and transparent as possible.
  
  
  
  Because he told me to go, I said okay and planned to go.
  
  I asked him to please be honest as I really wanted to avoid a fight and asked him to be completely honest about how it made him feel. He said that it was okay. 
  
  
  
  Later, he completely flipped and got really upset with me, saying that it was “messed up” that I would even want to go, that it shows I don’t value him, and that I’m choosing my friends over him. His perspective is that even if he said it was okay, I shouldn’t have *wanted* to go because we already had plans.
  
  
  
  This is where I’m confused. I didn’t go behind his back or ignore our plans, I told him everything, and he was the one who encouraged me to go. I made my decision based on that, and now I’m being blamed for it.
  
  
  
  I also tried to take accountability and apologize. I apologized for canceling our plans and for assuming that maybe he was encouraging me to go because he knew this was a rare opportunity and something I’ve been wanting for a long time (I’ve mentioned it to him multiple times before). I thought maybe he was just being nice.
  
  
  
  However, he won’t accept my apology unless I take “full accountability,” which seems to mean agreeing that I was completely in the wrong for even wanting to go in the first place. And for intentionally manipulating him. I don’t know how to fix this, because i feel like I already did everything I could, apologizing, explaining my thought process. 
  
  
  
  What’s making this harder is that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. This is a common occurrence where he will tell me one thing and expect me to do the opposite because I should just know it is wrong. I have communicated to him before that I need direct communication and him to be honest, and he has said he needs indirect communication sometimes. A few weeks ago, we had a similar situation where he said something was “okay.” At that time, I actually assumed he *wasn’t* okay (because of this pattern), but it turned out he genuinely meant it. That made me think we were improving our communication and that I could trust what he says at face value.
  
  
  
  Now I feel like I’m back to second guessing everything. I don’t know whether to take him at his word or assume there’s a hidden expectation behind everything l. Like, even If i wanted to ask him if I could go, I couldnt. Im scared to ask him things or ask for things because he will get mad at the fact that I even wanted to in the first place.
  
  
  
  I’m trying to understand:
  
  • Is it reasonable for him to expect me not to even *want* to go, despite being the one who told me to?, and the fact that this opportunity hasnt come up in over a year?
  
  • How do you handle situations where your partner says one thing but later gets upset about it?
  
  
  
  I want to handle this in a healthy way, but right now I just feel confused and like I can’t win unless I let my feelings and boundaries be walked all over. 
  
  Any advice would be appreciatied.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'the dinner ', 'relation': 'was honest that I felt sad about not being able to go for', 'condition': 'when I told him about it'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'cannot win', 'condition': 'unless I let my feelings and boundaries be walked all over'}]"
520,P0521,1rzk3a1,"​TL;DR: My girlfriend of 9 months is verbally abusive and disrespectful during arguments, admits to hurting me on purpose, and claims she has no principles. I’m looking for advice on how to handle this toxic behavior.
  
  I want to know if it's worth ending the relationship.;
  
  I've been with my girlfriend for nine months, as I mentioned. The problem for me is that during arguments, she becomes vile, uses abusive language, and deliberately tries to upset me. Even though I've given her many chances to stop, she always goes back to it. I told her that respect is the foundation of any relationship, but she's tested me and shown me to be spiteful and vengeful. I try my best to deal with her, but even in our last argument, she called me a masochist because I've forgiven her so many times. Later, she said she did it on purpose to upset me. She claims she's never wrong. When I talked to her, she told me she has no principles and that the only thing she cares about is her own pleasure. In our last argument, she even said things like, ""I'm not in the mood for you,"" and threatened to mute me. In our other arguments, she always changes the subject from being wrong to blaming me. Even on my birthday, she made a scene because I hadn't texted her for two days, ruining the whole day, even though I asked her to be there.","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'vileness', 'relation': 'shows', 'condition': 'during arguments'}, {'e1': 'she ', 'e2': 'abusive language', 'relation': 'uses', 'condition': 'during arguments'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'delibrately tries to upset', 'condition': 'during arguments'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'always changes the subject to blaming', 'condition': 'in our other arguments'}]"
521,P0522,1rzjb0j,"Long story short, my boyfriend was forced to get a new job in another city. Despite having a masters in his field, he was struggling to find staffing with his previous job and also dealt with lots of petty unprofessional behavior from colleagues. We are now long distance (about four hours away). 
  
  Well, within a span of two weeks, he sold his home, moved to an apartment, and started a new job. He hates the new city he is in. The job is beginning to grow on him, but he’s not really thrilled about it either. He’s a very fitness oriented person and hasn’t found a Gym that he likes in his area because all the gyms are much older and not well kept. He doesn’t like the way people drive in the city. The list goes on and on. 
  
  He’s really struggling with all of his change. Part of the problem is that he really didn’t choose the change. He got his new job out of necessity (shortly after he started, his previous workplace had another round of layoffs). He already struggles with depression and anxiety, and I’m really worried about this whole situation pulling him further down. He just seems irritable and less patient lately. I’m worried about how all of this is going to impact him long-term. 
  
  When he tries to talk to me about it and vent on the phone, my approach is to try to give him a better perspective. I’ll tell him things like, well at least you’re closer to family, the smaller apartment is easier to clean, you got a bump in pay, etc. 
  
  He says that I’m being dismissive and argumentative by disagreeing with all of his points. I’m not trying to argue, I’m genuinely just trying to help his mindset. It’s really hard to watch someone you deeply care about struggle so much and be miserable. My heart truly breaks for the entire situation that he has been through the last six months, with the professional harassment he’s had to endure that eventually led to him upending his whole life.
  
  What do you say to someone who is struggling with adapting to a whole new change of life that wasn’t entirely by choice? How do you not sound dismissive? I could really use tips on how to better communicate how compassionate I am about his situation, and try to make him feel better. Or should I just not say anything at all? Let him process his emotions?
  
  TL;DR: boyfriend recently moved forever away and is struggling with change. His mood has been getting worse, and I feel it’s making us even more distant. I’m not sure how to comfort him in a way that isn’t going to be seen as dismissive or argumentative.","[{'e1': 'my approach', 'e2': ' a better perspective', 'relation': 'is to try to give him', 'condition': 'when he tries to talk to me about it'}]"
522,P0523,1rzisoz,"I made a more detailed post in r/BreakUps about why we broke up and stuff, so I won't repeat that here. 
  
  Guys I'm REALLY struggling here, I really need to hear other people's unbiased opinions on this situation. My friends tell me not to get back with him, but it feels like they're just saying that just because he's my ex. I don't think they realize just how well we work together. We laugh about the same things, enjoy the same media, and our personalities just fit like a damn puzzle piece I swear. 
  
  Me (15F) and my ex (16M) met in school, formed a band together, dated for around 8 months, and then my mom forced us to break up due to family stuff, him being too stubborn to apologize to my parents, and her own biased hatred towards him. But we never had any major issues with each other that would be reason for a breakup. I do believe it's mainly his fault we had to break up, but I also know that we're both teenagers and still figuring things out. 
  
  About 3 weeks post breakup, we started playing games together without calling or texting. Now, since around last Saturday, we started texting again and even voice called for hours while playing games together. We're both well aware that we miss each other and we know that we still love each other. My parents don't know that we've contacted each other after breaking up, and I would get into insane trouble if they found out.
  
  I asked him, ""What are we?"" just last night, and he responded saying that label-wise, we were best friends, but emotionally, we were way beyond best friends. I think it's pretty cute, how he responded. 
  
  I can't tell if he's trying to reap the benefits of a girlfriend without the commitment or whatever. I know I'm easy to manipulate and influence, so I'm scared I'm getting myself into a relationship that'll only hurt me. You know, what if he's just going to leave me after we have sex? But also, he's never told me he's scared of commitment and it's not like he wanted to break up with me in the first place. He was also against the idea of staying friends at the beginning, actually. And he's also told me he wasn't going to date anyone until graduation, basically telling me he would wait for me. 
  
  We certainly don't act like we're just best friends, that's for sure. We still flirt with each other, catch ourselves making gf/bf jokes, etc. We've kissed each other even after break up, and I predict it'll happen again. That's NOT how opposite sex best friends act. 
  
  I want to marry him. I know I'm young, but I genuinely think he's a great guy, and that he'll be a great husband and a great father. I don't know how much value this statement even carries at my age but I really do love him a lot and I think he does too. I want to end up with him, I just don't know if I should break it off now and let fate work it's magic, or stay best friends with him and then slap on the label once we hit 18 and are free from our parents.
  
  TL;DR: Me and my ex are technically best friends now, but we both know we still see each other as lovers and we have both admitted to still loving each other. I want to end up with him, but I don't know if I should break things off now and hope for the best, or just stay friends.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'insane trouble', 'relation': 'would get into', 'condition': 'if they found out'}, {'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'games ', 'relation': 'started playing', 'condition': '3 weeks after post breakup'}]"
523,P0524,1rzfoa8,"Please ignore my bad grammar I’m sad lol—I (f26) and my friend (f26) met about a year ago at lifetime gym. we clicked on both having some similar experiences/family trauma from childhood like foster care and war. anyways she’s super sweet and I adore her.. I have an accounting degree and I’m currently studying for my cpa and love meeting women who love making/talking money in any way I really don’t care if you’re an exotic dancer or doctor if your a boss lady I love you. so I noticed my friend lives very lavishly if I had to guesstimate I would say roughly 90k spending a year(frequent trips, mini store in closet constant partying) recently she bought a brand new convertible bmw and first thing she does is ask me to plan a day trip out of the state …in a bmw in this economy…i was happy for her of course i was just curious on how all of this is possible considering we both come from nothing…naturally I asked what occupations/invesment gets her to be unemployed and stress free like this etc and she told me that she worked 3 jobs ( server, assistant, entry level cyber security no degree) for a couple of years and saved a couple of hundreds and lives off of it now but that doesn’t align with anything I’ve learned about money and I was genuinely just curious like how is that possible so I was asking questions making sure I frame them with “sorry if it’s personal” etc and I was met with “I should think before speaking” and like almost accusations that I would only believe a women would make money like this if a man was involved which is…just not true.
  
  I would’ve been completely fine with her letting me know she’s private about finance I would’ve respected her privacy but for me it just felt she was telling me I was wrong about my how money works which like I was standing firm on like explaining the psychology of finances and after a 3 HOUR CONVERSATION in the garage finally she went home but texted me the next the next day that we should probably get to know each other more and reschedule the day trip we planned this hurts but like it is what it is.this pressed on a wound I’ve had since childhood I always felt too ridged and rough around women because I don’t know how to dance around things I catch I just want to call it out and bring it to light Im confused on why shame could be so heavy it could end a relationship. I thought being seen for who you are was a beautiful thing why does it feel like I’m aggressively exposing someone after…idk this is a long stupid rant it is what it is at the end of the day. 
  
  TL;DR— I asked a friend of mine about her finances and it dragged into a long 3 hour conversation that severed our relationship and left me feeling awkward and now I’m questioning how I can work on handling my female relationships better because I really want girlfriends I just feel like I’m not soft enough for that type of relationship.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'money', 'relation': 'would only believe a woman would make', 'condition': 'if a man is involved'}]"
524,P0525,1rzfnaq,"My girlfriend and I met online during the pandemic when we were both around 20/21. We did long distance for about 2 years and it was genuinely good. We’d visit each other every like 2-3 months.
  
  At the 2 year mark she mentioned we were together long enough that we should transition from long distance to living together. I was hesitant. But we decided to move in together and made an agreement. She’d save $5k, I’d save $10k. I did my part. She didn’t. She was working one 4 hour shift a week at a retail job and wouldn’t pick up more hours even though I kept bringing it up. When move in time came I drove her car to my apartment, we then looked for our own apartment since I lived with two roommates in a three bedroom. Once we found our new spot I paid the deposit and covered everything from day one. Rent, groceries, bills, furniture. All of it.
  
  That was 2 years ago. She hasn’t paid a single bill or contributed to rent since. The only thing she’s paid for herself was her desk. She also spent time convincing me that a dog would help her with depression. She pushed for it, I was hesitant, and she specifically told me we’d share the financial responsibility for it. That didn’t last. I’ve covered every vet visit, all the food, toys, everything. She simply paid the majority for the dog (I still pitched in). 
  
  She’s been trying to get into nursing school but hasn’t gotten in yet, and if she does I asked her how she plans to pay for tuition/commute/books/etc…. and she has no idea. We did have an agreement that I’d cover things once she was actually enrolled but she’s not enrolled and still expects that same arrangement to kick in eventually. Which to me is wild because we’ve basically been living as if she had gotten into nursing school already. 
  
  I’ve gotten cold towards her over time. The resentment built up and I know my tone has been void of warmth, and I don’t feel the ability to express love towards her. That’s on me. I’ve just felt very lied to and resentful with this situation. 
  
  Every time I bring up the financial stuff she deflects. She says she doesn’t ask me for luxury things like other girls might so I should be grateful. She says we could just move somewhere smaller to save money but I feel like that would just give her another point as to why I shouldn’t complain about her not contributing. And now she’s telling me she won’t commit to finding a job until I’m consistently nicer to her.
  
  I get the respect thing, I really do. But it feels like she’s using my frustration as an excuse to avoid the actual conversation. And I can’t just warm back up when I feel like I’ve been lied to for 2 years. We’re in a loop where neither of us will concede first.
  
  I never agreed to be a “provider”. From the start I told her I wanted us both working and building something together. That was always the agreement. I came from poverty and have been able to make a lot better money now, and I’ve explained to her I never want my future children to be food insecure like I was and be able to provide them with a good safety net. To me this is a principle that’s crucial, but so much of my money is getting drained by being the sole financial provider of our household. She seems to feel entitled to the money I bring in, especially as I’ve gotten promotions and raises.
  
  We now have the dog which I’m really attached to which makes thinking about ending things way harder.
  
  I want to feel the way I used to about her but I honestly don’t know if I can get back there. Just looking for an outside perspective, am I missing something or is this as stuck as it feels?
  
  TLDR: GF hasn’t contributed financially in 2 years despite agreeing she would. A dog was her idea and she promised we’d split costs but I’ve covered everything. Now she’s saying she won’t look for a job until I am more warm to her and nicer. I’ve been cold and I own that but it feels like it’s being used to dodge accountability. Stuck.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'her', 'relation': ""can't just warm back up"", 'condition': 'when I feel like I have been lied to for 2 years'}]"
525,P0526,1rzdmix,"I’m struggling with my partner who doesn’t move towards me when I’m hurt. Yes I know there’s a big age difference. It was never something I was looking for it. Just kind of worked out that way. 
  
  Highlevel Backstory
  
  \\-Dated 2 years
  
  \\-She left and claimed me as covertly emotionally abusive. 
  
  \\-Took me months of learning about it, reading about it, talking to a therapist and friends only to have everybody tell me that it wasn’t. I now accepted as me hurting the other person because of our bad communication, but not willing to call it abuse as it doesn’t hurt, and my therapist told me to stop because she didn’t see it that way. 
  
  \\- she came back three months later after being ….. ( can’t say or it will be auto deleted) by a person she start seeing one month after me
  
  \\- we dated each other for four months
  
  \\-I want to be specific in saying that anytime she brought up the path I listened. I offered apologies support and attempt to learn from anything that hurt so I would never make her feel bad again.
  
  \\- I’ve planned a trip for for Valentine’s Day, and she was really mean to me said weird things that were really backhanded and ultimately ended up blowing up on me in a hotel room. 
  
  \\-she took distance from me after that, but messaged me once every day 
  
  \\-I worked on it and fix things a little bit and we’ve hung out three or four times since then maybe a week apart.
  
  \\-I have abandonment issues and the silence and lack of care from her really hurts.
  
  \\-I’ve told her several times that I was struggling or hurting
  
  \\- 3 days ago after her insisting, I told her what was going on with me told her how depressed I was, how much I needed a bit more reassurance and told her I needed to talk about some of the things she said to me that hurt me. I asked her to be there for me and mentioned that I was afraid to share things with her because I was afraid that she would leave or take space and trigger more abandonment. I also told her that I wanted to fight an argument to be focused on repair instead of winning.
  
  \\-she didn’t say anything about it.
  
  \\-she messaged me the morning after morning, saying that she’d rather talk about it in person and sent a photo of her dog and something she was excited about.
  
  \\- light conversation and generic messages with some reels being sent to me from her the last few days. She asked why my day was bad several times. I eventually just gave in and said the distance between us was heavy on me. I didn’t want to lie. She said nothing. 
  
  Had been 3 days since I sent that message. There hasn’t been any real conclusion and she didn’t move towards me.
  
  That trip that I mentioned was six weeks ago and I’ve been a wreck ever since then. I feel completely lost and unloved and I breakdown just about daily.
  
  I love this person very much, but I feel lost now. And I’m so tired of feeling this way. 
  
  At what point do I just give up? I feel like I expressed needs and concerns and loved her daily the her feel cared. 
  
  I’m not proud of everything that happened in our relationship initially. But I am proud of how I’ve shown up since then.
  
  \\\*\\\*TL;DR; : at what point should I give up? How do I know?\\\*\\\*","[{'e1': 'My partner', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': ""doesn'r move towards"", 'condition': 'when I am hurt'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'told her what was going on with', 'condition': '3 days ago after insisting'}]"
526,P0527,1rzcvyd,"Possibly a TL:DR
  
  I’m in a friend group of three people and we’ve all known each other since we were babies. Lately I’ve been feeling really left out and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting.(20f (22f) (21f)
  
  Two of them hang out together a lot and sometimes brag about how many times they’ve hung out. When we all hang out, they’ll text the other friend to come join us, but I’ve never seen them do that for me. When I ask to hang out, there’s usually an excuse, but then I’ll find out later (sometimes when they’re drunk) that it wasn’t true.
  
  One of them has even told me I’m the “better friend,” which makes the behavior more confusing.
  
  Another thing that bothered me: when I couldn’t hang out one time for a legitimate reason, they ghosted me and even changed my contact name in their phone to something vague — but didn’t change the other friend’s.
  
  I feel like I’m always the one giving in friendships and getting treated badly in return. Is this kind of dynamic normal in a three-person friend group, or am I right to feel like I’m being pushed out? At what point do you just walk away?","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': ' us', 'relation': 'will text the other friend to join ', 'condition': 'when we all hang out'}, {'e1': 'there ', 'e2': 'an excuse', 'relation': 'is usually ', 'condition': 'when i ask to hang out'}, {'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'ghosted', 'condition': ""when I couldn't hang out one time""}]"
527,P0528,1rzb3wg,"I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for about a year. I love her a lot—she’s kind, loyal, and genuinely a sweet person. We spend a lot of time together and I really enjoy her company in many ways.
  
  In the first 6 months, our relationship was great, including our sex life (2–3 times a day). Around that time, she had a job she hated and was very stressed. Over time, things started to change.
  
  She’s quite sensitive and tends to overthink a lot. Even small things or jokes affect her deeply, and she often spirals into self-doubt (especially about her work—she’s a designer). When her job got more hectic, she started crying almost every day and leaning on me heavily for emotional support.
  
  I’m a freelancer/DJ, so I have a flexible schedule. I found myself spending a lot of my time consoling her, managing conflicts, and helping her emotionally. I didn’t mind at first, but it’s become draining.
  
  She quit her job 3 months ago and has been trying to find another one. I know she’s genuinely trying, but her routine has gotten worse—she doesn’t take care of herself much, skips meals, eats junk, doesn’t groom, and rarely helps with basic things like cooking or cleaning when we’re together.
  
  I’ve also been spending quite a bit on her, which I didn’t mind earlier, but now it’s starting to weigh on me emotionally.
  
  I’ve tried talking to her about these things, but those conversations usually make her very upset or turn into long arguments that last for hours. Because of that, I’ve started avoiding bringing things up and just keeping it to myself.
  
  Lately, I’ve realized I feel relieved when I’m not around her. I still love her, but I don’t feel the same attraction anymore.
  
  Our physical relationship has also taken a hit. Even before, she rarely initiated sex, and after she finishes, she makes it feel like a chore. I also had an injury during S3x
  
  that required surgery on my private part, i just recovered from it but i can have s3X, so now I have some mental block around it as well.
  
  At this point, I don’t feel like initiating sex, kissing, or being physical in that way. I still enjoy cuddling and being affectionate, but the sexual attraction is low. I’ve also found myself prefer jerking off alone, which makes me feel a bit guilty.
  
  I don’t want to lose her, I really do love her. It’s not like I’ll die without her I know I’ll be okay. But I love her so much I would die for her
  
  But I’ve noticed that I’ve started feeling attracted to other girls or I catch myself thinking bout a future with other girls 
  
  How can I communicate my needs and set boundaries in this situation without it turning into long arguments?
  
  PS : I paraphrased this on ChatGPT coz English isn’t my first language
  
  TL;DR: I (25M) love my girlfriend (22F), but I feel emotionally drained, less attracted, and can’t communicate without it turning into fights.","[{'e1': 'she ', 'e2': 'everyday', 'relation': 'started crying', 'condition': 'when her job got so hectic'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'feel relieved', 'condition': 'when I am not around her'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'basic things', 'relation': 'rarely helps with', 'condition': 'when we are together'}]"
528,P0529,1rz8dct,"I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for almost 4 years. We‘re highschool sweethearts, got together when I was 15. He’s genuinely an amazing person — kind, loyal, treats me well, and I do love him deeply. He’s my first everything, which makes this even harder. For the first three years, I was mostly very happy. The only issue was that my sex drive has always been much higher than his, but I kind of accepted that. The mismatch has always been quite severe, but it’s been getting worse over the years. We haven‘t had sex in almost half a year now, with month long gaps in between even before. We have talked about that many times, nothing ever really changes, it just keeps getting worse. He says he just doesn’t usually want sex and could go forever without, while sexual intimacy is really important to me. Apart from that, we‘re also not super compatible when it comes to kinks etc., as he is quite vanilla. 
  
  As I said, I was able to compromise that because everything else was going great, but over the past year or so I‘ve been less satisfied with the overall relationship. We were long distance for a year after high school. When we both got back home, we never really got back into our old rhythm, we don’t see each other a lot any more although we only live 10 minutes apart, and we barely ever text or call. I feel like I have to initiate almost every interaction, but I have stopped doing so as frequently, as it became really exhausting. I also feel like I have become more outgoing and social, while he still prefers to sit at home and just play video games. He rarely ever joins in on any activities I do, and when we meet, it’s usually just me driving to his house and hanging out. Also, we don’t share the same interests at all anymore, he seems to dislike everything that is important to me. I feel like I can’t have any interesting conversations with him, because he is so disengaged from literally anything happening in the world. This is exactly how he has always been, it had always bothered me a little, but not this way. We also don’t really agree on future plans, but always said we were willing to compromise. I‘m not too sure I want to do that anymore. 
  
  I have noticed that I am building resentment towards him, I don’t enjoy seeing him anymore and I also don’t miss him when he‘s not around. Funnily enough, I have also stopped feeling comfortable with even the thought of having sexual intimacy with him, although I still have a high sex drive and am somehow still
  
  bothered by the lack of it.
  
  Another thing is that I have a male friend that I have become close and incredibly attracted to. I have never cheated and have zero intention of getting with said friend, but I feel like that also says a lot, because that has never happened to me before. My boyfriend was always the only one I had eyes for before all of this happened.
  
  When I‘m not with him, I think about breaking up a lot, but whenever I do see him, I am reminded how much he loves me, and I feel like I can’t do it. I care about him so much and I don’t want to hurt him or give up on him too quickly. But I‘m also so tired of it all and don’t even really feel like working it out. There‘s not a lot of people in my life that I can talk to about this, as most of my friends are from school and know us both.
  
  I know this sounds like I‘ve made up my mind, but I am so scared of making the wrong decision. Any advice is appreciated.
  
  tldr: Thinking about breaking up with highschool sweetheart due to lack of sex and a feeling of growing apart","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'his house', 'relation': ' usually just drive to', 'condition': 'when we meet'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': ""don't miss"", 'condition': 'when he is not around'}, {'e1': 'My bf', 'e2': 'the only one I had eyes for', 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': 'before all these happened'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'think about breaking up with ', 'condition': 'when I am not with him'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' me', 'relation': 'am reminded of how much he loves', 'condition': 'whenever I do see him'}]"
529,P0530,1rz5lqr,"Tl;dr boyfriend is emotionally unavailable 
  
  I [31F] have been dating my boyfriend [29M] for a little over a year. 
  
  And it's always felt like he's uninterested in listening to things I have to say about my day to day life, past experiences,or trauma I've been through to give him some insight into how my brain works, and things I'm actively working on (past abuse in relationships, parents with a really dysfunctional relationship who didn't really show affection.) 
  He constantly complains that I'm not affectionate enough for him, and when I tell him my experience and that I'm having to relearn how to show my love through physical touch (I'm more of an act of service girl) he just tunes me out. 
  
  Recently his mom got diagnosed with cancer, and the outcome isn't good. He's gotten so hostile and aggressive lately. Always saying he's overwhelmed with everything on his plate and having to text everyone back, so I tried scaling back and told him I don't expect him to put me first when it comes to relaying things to family and if he's overwhelmed from constantly being on his phone, that i understand if we arent talking like we usually do. And then he's mad because I seem distant. But then when I do talk to him about my day, thoughts emotions or anything other than just him and what he's got going on he ""can't handle this"" and doesn't know why I'm ""putting all this on him"" 
  I feel stuck and helpless. I don't know how to navigate this.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'just tunes out', 'condition': 'when I tell him my experience '}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' me ', 'relation': ""don't expect him to prioritize"", 'condition': 'when it comes to relaying things to family'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'this', 'relation': ""can't handle"", 'condition': 'when I do talk about my day'}]"
530,P0531,1rz45kx,"She had just quit her job when we met and dated for a few months before she moved in and I agreed to support us until she was able to find work. She has had a part time job here and there over the years but hasn't stayed anywhere for more than a few months.
  
  She wanted to go back to school about 2 years ago to become a counselor which I think would be a good career. She was in class from 0900 to 1300 Monday to Friday and I would have preferred she got a part time job (even just 15-20hrs a week) but she didn't have the ""capacity"" to do so. I let it slide and hoped things would be better after she finished school.
  
  She finished school in December and has been working on starting her own business which I think is amazing and support but the reality is that it doesn't make an income yet. She has one or two clients (maybe 2hrs a week) and helps a friend with her business (maybe 5hrs a week).
  
  We got in an argument yesterday when I got home and asked how her day was and then asked if she applied to any jobs. She got defensive about it saying I'm criticizing her and that I sound just like her dad. I said it's great she's trying to work on her business but having some sort of part time job would be great to be able to pay for the cost of the business startup, insurance for counselling etc. As well as to be able to at least put something aside for retirement and for fun money so I'm not footing the bill for everything.
  
  She has expressed frustration in the past about doing the vast majority of house cleaning and chores which is true. And I expressed how I really appreciate the things she does around the house to keep it clean and take care of laundry (I do 90% the cooking and maintain the kitchen) but that I would rather not live a trad life and share those responsibilities while both making and income.
  
  I have yet to ask her to marry me because I'm not happy with the financial situation and after 8 years I'm starting to wonder if it will ever change and if I should just call it quits. I really do love her and want to make it work but I think we just have a fundamental difference in life view. She values feelings over anything else and I try to look at things with a logical perspective and that means sometimes you have to do something you don't like to get though life. Maybe that sounds too harsh but it's a reality imo.
  
  Tl:Dr Am I being too much of a hard ass for just wanting her to work part time so she can help contribute to our future life and retirement?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'us', 'relation': 'agreeed to support ', 'condition': 'until she was able to find work'}]"
531,P0532,1ryxzly,"My husband and I went through a really rough patch last year. He was abusive and I left him, we both went to counseling separately and things got a lot better. But I was a sahm and he refused to help me financially so I signed up for child support. But I didn’t fully follow through because we ended up trying to work it out, so I thought. 
  
  That was about 5 months ago and recently the state started garnishing his check for my child support. For the first payment and I haven’t received it yet and it’s been like 2 weeks. 
  
  I told him once I get the money I would just give it back so he wouldn’t lose anything but he isn’t hearing that. I’m also pregnant too so this is a rough time for me
  
  It literally called and yelled at me when he found out about the garnishment. He stop speaking to me for like 2 days, then he told me I needed to get a job to pay HIS money back. When I reminded him why we were in this situation in the first place, he got upset and told me I’m the reason our unborn baby is underweight because I’m not healthy. Which is a low blow because I’m having a lot of medical issues. 
  
  He won’t speak to me unless I speak to him
  
  Is he justified in feeling the way he does?
  
  Tl:DR- my husband won’t speak to me because child support is coming out his check","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it ', 'relation': 'would just return', 'condition': 'once I get the money'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'yelled at', 'condition': 'when he found out about the garnishment'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'got upset at', 'condition': 'when I reminded him why we were in this situation in the first place'}]"
532,P0533,1rytz10,"I was just looking for some insight on my emotions right now, because they are extremely high. I’m 23 (M) she’s 22 (F)
  
  My ex fiance/gf of 6 years broke things off a few weeks ago. She did it over text and was extremely cold. Bad mouthed me to my friends and made up lies before she officially even broke things off.
  
  It was pretty random in my eyes. We were doing good the weeks leading up to the breakup. But the night she came over she was just extra hostile than normal and had a very negative attitude. This isn’t uncommon with her due to her BPD so I didn’t think anything of it.
  
  Well now, over the last few weeks. I have seen things that have drawn lots of concers about a male coworker. She would tell me about his relationship issues when we were together, which I thought was weird. And would provide me with personal details about him when I didn’t even ask. The two would drive to different activities together due to their job, since they work with kids. But I never felt the need to be defensive or dig deeper into their relationship because she never did anything to break my trust in the past. 
  
  After the breakup she started following his mom, brothers gf, mutual friends. She was at his baptism days after the breakup. I asked on 3 seperate occaisons if she had feelings for him after the breakup, and every time she denied.
  
  The last time she gaslit me into believing that I was just being insecure and not taking accountability for the problems in the relationship.
  
  Well cut to today, at this point we aren’t talking. The corowker situation reached a point of suspicion where I called her out and she blocked me. Now I look at her Pinterest (which I shouldn’t I know, stalking socials is not healthy) and she said has a Pinterest board with this guys last name as “Mrs. \_\_\_”. Added 5 hours ago, with wedding ring ideas. Funnily enough she still has my Pinterest board with my last name on the too.
  
  I’m absolutely furious right now. She made me hate myself the last 2 months with the things she was saying to justify the breakup and the lies. She gaslit me into thinking that I was crazy. She hasn’t publicly shown she’s with this guy and hasn’t told out mutual friends who were supposed to be her maids of honor but are also very close to me. I’m just hurting bad and need some advice. 
  
  tl:dr How can I recover and move forward from this?","[{'e1': 'she', 'e2': ' his relationship issues', 'relation': 'would tell me about', 'condition': 'when we are together'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': ' him', 'relation': 'would provide me with personal details about ', 'condition': ""when I didn't ask for it""}]"
533,P0534,1ryti4s,"My boyfriend (32M) and I (31F) have been together for 2,5 years now and we have a lot of fun together, but because of some hiccups in the past I'm starting to doubt if this relationship will go somewhere...
  
  * We have an intercultural relationship, since my roots are middle-eastern. I moved to his country with my family when I was really young. Compared to my siblings, I'm the least traditional one but that doesn't mean those traditional values mean nothing to me. He doesn't see the efforts I had to go through to find a balance between those traditions and the more Western way of living. E.g. I live on my own, my relationship with him is no secret and my mom loves him, we go on vacations etc. A non-negotiable for me is that I won't move in together with someone if I'm not married to that person. It's something I don't want, and also something that will hurt my mother. He wants to live together, but doesn't like the idea of marriage, which causes a rift between us where I start to get the feeling I have to defend my culture when he's confronted with non-Western aspects of my life. My mother keeps bugging me about the future and I brush it off telling her it's too soon to talk about marriage (which I genuinely think, I don't want to get married right away), but I can't tell her that he actually doesn't want to get married. I wish I knew this before I ever presented him to my family. He doesn't understand that that's actually a big thing in my culture, whereas he already presented other girlfriends to his family and this doesn't seem to signify anything about the future. I'm not saying that I will only let my family meet a 100% sure thing, but I feel ashamed now knowing his views on marriage.
  
  * He's very anxious about the future, hence the reluctancy to marriage. I'm anxious too, but when I hear what he's anxious about I'm really puzzled. He's afraid I will want to do everything in my way (whereas I feel like I've already done a LOT to show him that I'm open to new ways or our way of doping things), he doesn't like the fact that I don't want to go on vacations with his friends (while this is true, I don't feel like I'm not doing efforts to get along with them and join them on outings and even a weekend away) etc. He always gives such weird examples of what he's afraid of and why it potentially won't work out. 
  
  * He has depressive tendencies and he doesn't believe in working on those issues. I am very aware of my mental health and the impact it can have on my surroundings, so I regularily see my therapist and actively try to work on things that are bothering me. I can't do that for him, but in the meantime he can't see what a toll his mental health has on our relationship and maybe even on his prospects of seeing a future together with me. He always remember the negative things about us/me, but there are tons of positive things that he just can't seem to remember when he's in a low. At those points I really feel like the relationship is hanging by a thread, which doesn't give me the reassurance and stability one would want from their partner. I don't want to feel like I'm in a trial run with my partner, where he digs stuff the past up to blame me when he's feeling bad.
  
  TL;dr: good guy, intercultural relationship, boyfriend with depressive tendencies he won't work on... Makes me doubt our future.
  
  Does anyone recognize the above or even aspects of it? He's actually genuinely a good guy, I really love him and I do believe he loves me, so any advice is welcome.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'someone', 'relation': ""won't move in together with"", 'condition': 'if I am not married to that person'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'my culture', 'relation': 'have to defend', 'condition': 'when he is confronted with the non-western aspects of my life'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'none', 'relation': 'am really puzzled', 'condition': 'when I hear what he isanxious about'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'stuffs from the past', 'relation': 'digs up ', 'condition': 'when he is feeling bad'}]"
534,P0535,1rypam9,"Vacation with a partner with anxiety?
  
  I am on a spontaneous 4 days vacation with my boyfriend, we booked yesterday morning. 
  
  When booking the vacation i got a bit resentful because he seemed to postpone the decision of where to go and to book for many days. Then we started to ride our bicycle to our destination and he stopped after 2 h ride and told me that he just wanted to go home, that in the morning he realized that he wanted to stay home but that sometimes he refrains from telling me the truth because he does not want to hurt me.
  
  I felt so sad and betrayed and stupid. At the same time i know he has anxiety, that often shows up when he wants to travel. But actually is when he tries to hide this anxiety that he hurts me most. I am very supportive when anxieties show up (e.g. we avoid places wuth too many people).
  
  Now i am waiting for him to wake up and i am scared by how the day might go, if we should go home, if we should continue. I was so looking forward to this weekend away because i am very stressed at work, and now i am also sad.
  
  I am also wondering how i will handle the next vacation. I feel like i will be scared that this situatin will repeat irself. It's a very sad feeling thinking that i am excited about sharing an experience with my boyfriend and he is secretly not. 
  
  Pls any tips on how to handle today any future trips?
  **TL;DR; : any tips?**.","[{'e1': 'Anxiety', 'e2': 'him', 'relation': 'often shows up in', 'condition': 'when he wants travel'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'hurts ', 'condition': 'when he tries to hide his anxiety'}]"
535,P0536,1ryo3w4,"I (28f) have been with my partner (29m) for almost 9 years (not engaged, don’t live together).
  
  I’ve been having intense anxiety over the past couple months about my relationship and I can’t even articulate why.
  
  I’m seeing a therapist who has said it’s common for people in my circumstances to feel as though they’ve outgrown the relationship or have questions.
  
  My partner is an amazing person but I’ve been thinking about things that might pose as an issue in the future. Example, he has family members and people in his social circle that have different views pertaining to things like immigration and ab*rtion. He doesn’t share those views himself and we align in many ways but I worry that his passiveness will present as an issue in the future with children as he is non-confrontational (I am a muslim woman, and he comes from a catholic family). When I asked whether he would speak with his parents about their views, he said there’d be no point as they would only argue back and that who is he to tell them what is right and wrong.
  
  Again, he has so many amazing qualities and I’ve practically spent my entire adulthood with him. He’s empathetic, patient, very hard-working and loves me a lot (also tall and v conventionally attractive). 
  
  TLDR: not sure there’s a spark and I feel there’s a lack of passion on my side which has existed for a while (the doubts would come and go for years but they were never this intense, and I think this is normal for LTRs to an extent). I know LTRs require work which is why I haven’t walked away and have continued to try. How do you know whether it is anxiety vs gut feeling? 
  
  Any advice please? 
  
  
  Thank you","[{'e1': 'he ', 'e2': 'an argument', 'relation': 'said there is no point as they would only give back ', 'condition': 'when I asked whether he would speak with his parents about their views'}]"
536,P0537,1rylixo,"I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for about two years. We met as roommates when we both moved abroad for school, and eventually started dating.
  
  He has two sisters, one his age and one about six years older. In the beginning I really liked them, especially the older one. She seemed very caring and protective of him, almost in a motherly way. But over time, things started to feel off.
  
  A few months into living together, I found out he’s on around 8–9 psychiatric medications. When I looked them up, they’re pretty serious ones, usually for things like OCD, bipolar disorder, and depression. That was a lot for me to process.
  
  From what I understand, when he was around 17–18, his older sister would send him to psychiatrists even for relatively small issues, and he ended up being prescribed a lot of medication. Now he also has some physical health problems like thyroid and kidney issues.
  
  What really bothers me is how dependent he is on her. He asks for her input on almost everything, needs her approval, and shares basically everything with her. At one point they were on the phone for hours every day, and it caused a lot of tension between us.
  
  Even now, whenever something happens, she immediately steps in and sets up appointments with psychiatrists or psychologists. It feels like he doesn’t trust his own judgment anymore.
  
  It also seems like their parents stepped back a long time ago, and the older sister took on that role in a very controlling way.
  
  I’ve tried talking to him about how this affects me, but he always defends her and sees her as more knowledgeable and always right. I don’t feel like I come first in this relationship.
  
  I do love him and he’s a kind person, but I feel stuck and exhausted. I’ve tried encouraging him to be more independent and set boundaries with her, but nothing really changes.
  
  How can I set boundaries in this situation, and is there a realistic way to make this relationship work if he stays this dependent on his sister?
  
  TL;DR:
  
  My boyfriend is very dependent on his older sister and involves her in almost every decision. I feel like I come second in the relationship and nothing changes no matter what I try. I don’t know how to set boundaries or if this relationship can work long term.","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'roommates', 'relation': 'met as', 'condition': 'when we both moved abroad for school'}, {'e1': 'she', 'e2': 'psychiatrists or psychologists', 'relation': 'sets appointments with', 'condition': 'whenever something happens'}]"
537,P0538,1ryjmgf,"TL;DR : Am I the asshole for ending my marriage over things in the past that I can’t get over? 
  
  Hey everybody, I’m a (23F) and I’ve been married to my husband (23M) for about 4 months. Just to give some back story, we’ve known each other since high school and we had a relationship back then, but it didn’t work out. We got back together in 2023 and we had a baby in 2024. We’ve had our ups and downs, but he’s gotten better about what he needs to do as a husband and a dad.
  
  Basically, ever since i had my baby, Im just not interested in him anymore. I feel like the spark has completely died and Im only with him because Im comfortable. He has an issue with alcohol to the point where there have been many instances where he gets too drunk and blames everything on me. It happened again two weeks ago, which I swore to myself that I would end it if it happened again. But then when we talked about it, it’s almost as if I got scared to end it. We are very rooted into each other’s lives and I think it scares me to change it. I feel like there’s been too many instances with alcohol that i’m having a hard time forgiving him for it. I am also feeling attraction to others. Am I the asshole to bring my feelings to him and end our marriage over things in the past that I can’t get over?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'our marriage', 'relation': 'would end', 'condition': 'if it happened again'}]"
538,P0539,1ryi2nb,"We're in a relatively new relationship, only 3 months, but I've noticed that he's got some self-esteem issues. He's a quiet guy and I'm a bit more extroverted (kinda). The self-esteem issues isn't anything that's anything new to me; I struggled a lot in the past. But I found some ways to fix it and I've gotten a lot better over time. I want to help him out, since he's my partner and I know it's harder for guys to tackle things like that. It's just that every time I try to compliment him, he always dismisses it/denies it. 
  
  Which is what I expected, but I don't know how to really show him that I find him attractive and I want to be with him. I don't wanna force positivity down his throat because I know when I was struggling that' was the last thing I wanted to hear. But how can I start to break through that mindset just a little bit? I just wanna help him get his foot in the right step to confidence.
  
  TL;DR - I wanna help my boyfriend build up some confidence w/o him shutting me down every time, but don't wanna be obnoxious about it","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'the compliments', 'relation': 'always dismisses/denies', 'condition': 'everytime I try to compliment him'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'positivity', 'relation': 'did not want to hear', 'condition': 'when I was struggling '}]"
539,P0540,1ryfbb3,"Hey guys! Looking into some relationship advice. Sorry in advance for the long post😅.
  
  So I am a 35 yo vers/top gay guy, currently in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together for about 5 years, and have been living together for about 1.5 years now. 
  
  I grew up in a rather conservative society in Greece and I was very homophobic until quite old. For many many years I could not understand/accept that I wasn't straight, which made me struggle a lot mentally, having panic attacks and extreme anxiety all the time. At some point, I managed and broke through, realized about my sexuality, and accepted who I was, at age 31. I hadn't have any relationships or sex until that age (and of course no gay friends). My only sexual expression was through porn and masturbation. As you can understand, when the realization happened it was like I was born again. 
  
  At that time, I just made a tinder account and started talking with random guys. I went out a couple of dates (no sex). The 3rd guy became my first sexual experience and eventually my boyfriend. I haven't had sex with any other person since then. 
  
  And this is where the thoughts start. Although I love my boyfriend immensely and he loves me, and we get along extremely well (we have never fought seriously), and have fun together, I sometimes feel as if I have gotten into a serious relationship before having experienced anything else. I got a feeling of missing out, a feeling of regret for never having experimented with other people, meeting other guys and having sexual experiences with othe people. These thoughts and this feeling has gotten louder during the past 4 months now, during which our sex life has become non-existent, for various reasons like busy schedules, getting accustomed to each other's presence doesn't seem to stimulate us, and also my boyfriend seems to not be needing sex that much compared to me (who i am much more sexual in nature).
  
  So my question is, how do I navigate this whole situation? On the one hand I feel like I am not being fair to my teenage self who hasn't really explored, but on the other hand I love him too much and it feels stupid and shallow to leave such a caring and loving relationship and person. Has anyone experienced sth similar, and if yes how did you deal with it? 
  
  Thank you all! 😊
  
  TL;DR:
  35M in a loving 5-year relationship (first partner ever), but came out late (31) after years of internal struggle. Now feeling like I missed out on exploring my sexuality and other partners. These thoughts have intensified recently, especially as our sex life has declined and my libido is higher than my boyfriend’s. Torn between valuing a stable, loving relationship and wanting to experience more before settling down. Looking for advice from others who’ve felt the same.","[{'e1': 'it', 'e2': 'a born again', 'relation': 'was like I was', 'condition': 'when the realization happened'}]"
540,P0541,1ryf638,"So we've been on and off for 5 years (longest break being 1.5yr and shortest being a few weeks) we've been together 6 months now - after coming back together from our longest break.
  
  And there's just some things different about him this time around.
  
  \-when we're having sex he wants to deep throat my fingers and have me really finger his ass (before it was just like a little run around there here and here)
  
  \-during our break I was in a really bad dv relationship; so me opening up and being mentally and emotionally there had been hard. He's said multiple times he's forced himself to think about being gay to see if that'll help him with me not being 'fully there in the relationship'
  
  \-I've read text messages (ik sue me) between him and an ex of his (when we were on this last long break) where they were fighting and she threw the fact he was gay and she was the only one that knows about it and would out him at him
  
  \-he's Cuban - I'm white - so may just be an ethnicity thing; or the fact he was raised mostly by his moms and aunts and is an only child. But he's just veryyy emotional and is needy like a girl in a relationship. 
  
  Idk how to feel about any of this, or if I should talk to him about it. Or if I'm reading too much into it all.
  
  Any input/help..??
  
  TL;DR
  
  \-deep throat my fingers during sex to cum
  
  \-wants asshole aggressively fingered
  
  \-very emotional 
  
  \-has told me because of how I ask he's tried to think about being gay","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'deep throat', 'relation': 'wants to ', 'condition': 'when we are having sex'}]"
541,P0542,1rye21z,"\*\*TL;DR;\*\* My husband (29M) and I (26F) have been married for almost four years, and we’ve been through a few trust issues since we got married.
  
  We’ve both been known to paint things a certain way when we’re arguing. About a month ago, I said the name Mike in my sleep, and my husband mentioned it wasn’t the first time I’d said a man’s name in my sleep.
  
  He doesn’t know these people, though. Then, today in the car, my son called my brother Uncle Mike, and now my husband is accusing me of having something with someone named Mike, even though I don’t.
  
  I’ve never cheated on him, and it’s really wearing me down to be accused of everything every day. He ignores me and treats me differently whenever he thinks he knows something.
  
  Now, he’s accusing me of sleeping with my brother because my son called him Uncle Mike, and his name isn’t Mike. I only go home and work, and he knows my location.
  
  He’s basing his trust issues on me lying about things in the past, like when I had a sweater from a past relationship and told him I got it from the store to avoid him thinking something.","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'a certain way', 'relation': 'have both known to paint things', 'condition': 'when we are arguing'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me differently', 'relation': 'ignores and treats', 'condition': 'whenever he thinks he knows something'}]"
542,P0543,1rycs67,"TBH I never felt the spark even on the first date. But we got intimate on the second date and that added a new layer to the relationship. I also have anxieties of my own when the relationships get ""real"". I start evaluating if the relationship is good long-term, almost like I have score card in my head (something I am actively working on with a therapist). I have tried breaking up with her early in the relationship but she insists that ""I don't know her"" and to give it time, which is why we're still seeing each other. Sometimes I'm excited about a future with her, but most times I feel conflicted. I am trying to figure out how much of it is me, vs. I should just listen to my gut and get out because it should feel different.
  
  Values and lifestyle wise we're aligned. I just feel like I'm wanting more of a spark. If I were to break it down, part of it is that there isn't a lot of intellectual chemistry. The other part is that the physical attraction can wane. But I'm also trying to unlearn and not be picky. Maybe I'm asking too much of myself.
  
  Anyone been in a similar situation before? How did it pan out?
  
  TL/DR: Been feeling conflicted about a relationship since the start. It's been 1.5 month. Do sparks grow or is this a sign that I should walk away?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'anxieties', 'relation': 'have my own', 'condition': 'when the relationship gets real'}, {'e1': 'Part of it', 'e2': 'intellectual chemistry', 'relation': ""is that there isn't "", 'condition': 'if I were to break it down'}, {'e1': 'The other part of it', 'e2': 'physical attraction', 'relation': 'is waning of', 'condition': 'if I were to break it down'}]"
543,P0544,1ruvxvo,"Often when I'm typing out text, I will misspell a word. When I right-click to correct the misspelling, the options are all wrong, and the right word is not an option. So I right-click again on the word and select ""search Google for \_\_\_\_"". And almost 100% of the time Google knows exactly the right word, such as ""Did you mean (said word)"". So why is the intelligence of Spellchecker so dumb, and the spelling intelligence of Google so smart? Why can't the software or whatever be the same so when typing it is correct a greater percentage?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a word', 'relation': 'will misspell', 'condition': 'when i am typing out text'}]"
544,P0545,1ruzcy7,"If you want to put a new OS onto an Android phone, the first step is to toggle an option on the phone in question called ""OEM unlock"". An option that just doesn't exist if you bought your phone in the US. Why is this a necessary step? Its like if I had to ask Windows for permission to wipe it and install Linux, that makes no sense. I'm wiping the phone and installing a new operating system, what do settings on the old operating system matter? Why can't I get around this requirement?","[{'e1': 'the first step', 'e2': ' the phone ', 'relation': 'is to toggle an option on', 'condition': 'if you want to put a new OS onto a andriod phone'}]"
545,P0546,1rvadk4,"When cooking meat, like steak, you aim to cook it to a certain temperature and then take it off the heat to rest. During the resting phase the internal temperature continues to rise by a few degrees. Where does that extra heat come from when you've taken it out of the pan and there is no heat source?","[{'e1': 'You ', 'e2': ' temperature', 'relation': 'aim to cook it to a certain', 'condition': 'when cooking meat'}]"
546,P0547,1rvh8ug,"I overheard a father in the pool explain to his daughter how to improve her swimming, and he said something to the effect of “when your body screams for air it’s CO2 filling your body; you need to ignore that signal and keep swimming- you should take a breath every 3 strokes.” Which got me thinking, I can start out a few laps like that, but then my (weak stamina) kicks in and I have to take a breath every stroke. How do swimmers build up the capacity to hold their breaths for longer? Is it really ignoring that (what I imagine to be biologically useful!) signal to breathe?","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': ' your body', 'relation': 'is co2 filing', 'condition': 'when your body screams for air'}]"
547,P0548,1rvle3p,"Why do drugs make someone less happy long term vs natural reward/good habits (sex, good meal etc..) that make someone more happy or atleast happy the same long term? Does anyone have a mechanistic explanation?. Like i understand brain adapt to drugs and you are less happy than before when not using but why does this not happen/not nearly as much with normal activites like sex or a hobby etc?","[{'e1': 'You', 'e2': 'the drugs', 'relation': 'are less happy than before you started using ', 'condition': 'when you are not using drugs'}]"
548,P0549,1rvudxn,"I'm mostly talking for older home video equipment, but maybe it's still applicable to modern TVs. I have a laserdisc player and recently acquired a video standards disc. It came with a blue viewfinder that you're supposed to look at a certain frame of the disc through (the frame looks like the classic ""please stand by"" color blocks), and then adjust your TV color and hue until the frame is only solidly blue and black bars. When I look through the viewfinder, the bars are not solidly blue and black, they have some dark purple patches, etc. I think CRTs also had color standards. My questions are: who determined these standards? Why is it better for the bars to be solidly blue and black? Does each system have its own standards? Thanks in advance","[{'e1': 'The bars', 'e2': ' blue or black', 'relation': 'are not solidly', 'condition': 'when I look through the viewfinder'}]"
549,P0550,1rvv3ka,"I don't mean just anxiety, but a panic-inducing, paralyzing fear where you're sure you're about to die. I've experienced this couple of times in my life, and each time I had severe tremors, muscle weakness, and buckling legs. If I had to fight or run away, I wouldn't be able to do it. Why does this happen? This makes a person more vulnerable to danger. Wouldn't it be more logical if the body was ""preparing"" for the emergency? 
  
  (Please excuse possible mistakes, English is not my native language. I hope I explained it clearly.)","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'would not be able to do ', 'condition': 'if I had to fight or run away'}]"
550,P0551,1rw9zpc,"When there are high heat temperatures, mirages often appear as water on hot roads or in deserts, and we see waves of blue and clear water against the roads or sand from afar. How does this work where the temperatures in the air are causing us to see anything other than the regular dark gray roads and yellow-ish sand?","[{'e1': 'mirages', 'e2': ' hot roads or deserts', 'relation': 'often appear as water on', 'condition': 'when there are high temperatures'}]"
551,P0552,1rwgccz,"I recently bought a new computer and my uncle told me to be careful when downloading games so I don't get a virus, but I don't know exactly what a virus is. If someone could help me with this, I would really appreciate it :)","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'would really appreciate', 'condition': 'if someone could help me with this'}]"
552,P0553,1rwh8cf,"Like if my phone when new could last for 48 hours and needed 2 hours to charge, why doesn't it only need 1 hour to charge if the capacity has degraded such that it only lasts for 24 hours now for example?","[{'e1': 'My phone', 'e2': '48 hours', 'relation': 'could last', 'condition': 'when it was new'}, {'e1': 'My phone', 'e2': 'only 2 hours ', 'relation': 'needed to charge for', 'condition': 'when it was new'}]"
553,P0554,1rwuf5r,"When it comes to most addictive substances, alcohol, weed, cocaine, stuff like that, the reason that you get addicted is because they make you high. And being high (usually) gives you a burst of dopamine, which you then continue to chase with every subsequent dose. It’s simple to grasp.
  
  Which is why cigarettes and vapes confuse me. As far as I can tell, they don’t make you high. People don’t seem to have their behavior affected when they smoke, they don’t start freaking out, there are no laws against driving while smoking, etc. Everything I know about why drugs are addictive doesn’t seem to apply to them.
  
  So why are they addicting? And what does smoking them actually do?","[{'e1': 'people', 'e2': 'behaviour ', 'relation': ""don't seem to have affected their"", 'condition': 'when they smoke'}]"
554,P0555,1ry9jp9,"I’ve watched many videos of professionals shooting a puck explaining how flex of stick helps generate more power when shooting a puck, but I don’t understand how. The stick bends and it wants to go back to its original non-bend state so it goes straight again , how does that help with pushing a puck forward?","[{'e1': 'flex of stick', 'e2': 'power', 'relation': 'helps generate more', 'condition': 'when shooting a puck'}]"
555,P0556,1rz3637,"I would think a pitched ball would have less energy when hit, because the force of the bat has to overcome the kinetic energy of the ball moving in the opposite direction.
  
  But having played kickball, it always felt like I could kick the ball farther if it was rolled fast at me vs. kicking it from stationary. Could it have something to do with how bouncy the ball is?","[{'e1': 'a pitched ball', 'e2': 'energy', 'relation': 'would have less', 'condition': 'when hit'}, {'e1': 'i', 'e2': 'the ball ', 'relation': 'could farther kick ', 'condition': 'if it was rolled fast at me '}]"
556,P0557,1rzz5g5,"So my understanding of physics is that things lose energy as they move EX: when you swing a pendulum, it's arc will slowly get shorter and shorter each time due to things like air resistance.
  
  However, I just accidentally bumped my empty water bottle and watched it wobble forward, then wobble back, only THEN falling over. How is this possible? If it didn't fall over the first wobble, wouldn't it lose energy, making each wobble after that weaker, preventing it from falling over at all?","[{'e1': 'Things', 'e2': 'energy', 'relation': 'lose', 'condition': 'as they move '}]"
557,P0558,1s0c4id,Would wearing sunscreen in a tanning bed have the same effect in lessening skin damage that sunscreen has when people wear it outside?,"[{'e1': 'sunscreen', 'e2': 'skin damage', 'relation': 'lessens', 'condition': 'when people wear it outside'}]"
558,P0559,1s1wgw5,"To elaborate, whenever I listen to AI voices, whether older or newer, they tend to hurt my ears somehow. It's as if there were a constant ""S"" sound playing through the whole thing, and the usual ""S"" sounds are a lot more exaggerated than human voices would be somehow- and this is somewhat beside the point, but with some of the worse ones it gives me worse tinnitus than usual that can last up to a minute.
  
  For an especially noticeable example, you can try the ""Speak"" function in Apple's Books app, but it happens to varying extents with the majority of the ones I've heard.
  
  Why is that?","[{'e1': 'AI voices', 'e2': 'my ears ', 'relation': 'tend to hurt somehow', 'condition': 'whenever I listen to AI voices'}]"
559,P0560,1s2btns,"When I watch a TV series, every episode seems to follow a distinct style. 
  For example, I recently watched Young Sherlock. The first two episodes were directed by Guy Ritchie and have his flare, but the rest were by other directors. However, if it wasn't in the credits, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between episode 1 and 8.","[{'e1': 'Every episode', 'e2': 'a distinct style', 'relation': 'seems to follow', 'condition': 'when I watch a TV series'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' episode 1 and 8', 'relation': ""wouldn't be able to tell the difference betwen"", 'condition': 'if it was not in the credits'}]"
560,P0561,1s2dlw3,"I often see videos and images on YouTube where the images are reversed. It's apparent when you see letters and numbers, especially on older materials. Why can't these be correctly presented?","[{'e1': 'Reversed images', 'e2': 'apparent', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'when you see letters and numbers'}]"
561,P0562,1s2mffi,The way I’m currently thinking is that when I’m trying to draw a picture by looking at the reference image. It takes a long time to complete it and even then it’s not that accurate. An octopus changing its colour to the environment is one thing but I saw a video of it also copying the texture pattern of the environment? how?,"[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'completion', 'relation': 'takes a long time for', 'condition': 'when i am trying to draw a picture by looking at the reference image'}]"
562,P0563,1s39v1i,"I’ve had to switch from a Mac to Windows 11 for my new job, and it’s driving me insane that my only options to rename a file I’m working on is to either “save as”, which creates a duplicate, or to have to exit out of Word and then rename the file in File Explorer.
  
  In macOS, you can just double click the file name at the top of the program you’re in and it turns into a text box you can edit. You can also rename a file in Finder and it will carry over to the open program.
  
  For a paralegal like me who has to do this like 20 times a day, this is such a quality of life difference. I don’t understand how Windows, the leading enterprise operating system is still restricted in this way. Is there a technical reason behind the operating system architecture that leads to this difference?
  
  **Edit: Since this is getting a lot of attention I want to clarify a few things about my use case:**
  
  \-I have to rename files based on the contents of the file (counterparty name, date of signature etc), which requires me to have it open.
  
  \-IT has turned off Preview capability in File Explorer so I cannot use that as a guide.
  
  \-We use Box so I cannot use the OneDrive workaround to rename while in Word
  
  \- I am working on automating file name conventions via Salesforce metadata, long term, this manual process is an inherited workflow.
  
  \- When I used macOS in an enterprise setting I didn’t have to think about literally any of this, it just worked.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'any of these', 'relation': ""didn't have to think about"", 'condition': 'when i used macOS '}]"
563,P0564,1s3dw7m,It seems counterintuitive: if the heart at rest beats at precisely equal intervals it would seem like the cardiovascular system is perfectly tuned.,"[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'cardiovascular system ', 'relation': 'would seem like a perfectly tuned', 'condition': 'if the heart at rest beats at precisely equal intervals '}]"
564,P0565,1s3kwpw,"I read this in the car manual. It actually recommended using the engine to brake the car rather than using the brakes themselves... I haven’t driven a manual in a while, so I don’t really remember these exact footwork to enable this
  
  edit: think the manual mentioned when going downhill to do use this method","[{'e1': 'the car', 'e2': ' the brakes', 'relation': 'is recommeneded to be braked using the engine rather than', 'condition': 'when going downhill '}]"
565,P0566,1s3rf3q,"For example, the problem will be to simplify 245 as a square root. I get that I’m supposed to find a perfect square in 245, but I don’t get how I’m supposed to find that number?
  
  Edit: I figured out how to do it and some tricks to do it fast and successfully. Thanks guys :}
  
  Edit: just finished day 1 of the test and I think I passed. For those who care I’ll update tomorrow when I finish the test :D","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'tomorrow', 'relation': 'will update ', 'condition': 'when I finish'}]"
566,P0567,1s40fps,"If you’re in a room of 23 people there’s a 50% chance that at least two of those people share a birthday. I don’t understand how the statistics work on that one, please explain!","[{'e1': 'There', 'e2': ' a birthday', 'relation': 'is a 50% chance that at least two people share', 'condition': 'if you are in a room of 23 people'}]"
567,P0568,1s4ao5a,"People also say your future self gonna regret if you don’t sleep more now, what are the benefits of sleeping everyday 8+ hours?","[{'e1': 'people ', 'e2': 'regret', 'relation': 'also say your future self will', 'condition': ""if you don't sleep more now""}]"
568,P0569,1s4jlng,"On my Gmail, it says I have used 15.11 GB of 15 GB, so my emails will stop in 12 days. However, when I go onto my storage through my settings app, it says I have only used 88% of my storage. When I click on manage storage on my Gmail app, it gives me the option to delete photos, videos, and downloads. I have less than 10 emails, yet I'm still out of storage.","[{'e1': 'Gmail', 'e2': '88% of my storage', 'relation': 'says I have only used', 'condition': 'when I go into my storage through my settings app'}, {'e1': 'it', 'e2': ' photos,videos and downloads', 'relation': 'gives me the option to delete', 'condition': 'when i click on manage storage on my gmail app'}]"
569,P0570,1s59h28,"I get it on the level of binary and rewriting/deleting that. I also get how data could be saved onto a disc, though I feel I might not be understanding that process correctly.
  
  Here’s where the disconnect lies:
  
  It doesn’t feel like it follows rules that physical things have to follow. Here’s how I understand it:
  
  If I carve something on a rock, right, that’s easy, I get that. I can physically carve and alter it.
  
  But to carve something else I’d have to sand it down, therefore wearing the rock.
  
  Is that what happens with discs?? Could you cause damage saving and deleting enough data again and again?? The “physical to information” transition data makes with computers is something I can hardly wrap my head around.
  
  
  THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE RESPONSES!! I feel like I should add, I HAVE tried looking this up for myself. 2 problems with that: I word my searches very poorly (I am not familiar with computer terminology) and I genuinely think this is one of those things that I need help understanding. I AM STARTING TO GET IT YAY!","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'can physically carve and alter', 'condition': 'if I carve something on a rock'}]"
570,P0571,1s5v23h,"I literally just heard the term Vacuum Decay 20 minutes ago. Is it true the universe is basically a false vacuum that could just... pop?
  
  Like a bubble? Apparently, if it decays, a it might hit us at light speed and we just cease to exist instantly. 
  
  Like will we be just deleted?","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'lightspeed', 'relation': 'might hit us at ', 'condition': 'if it decays'}]"
571,P0572,1s606vl,"I know if you're dehydrated, they can give you an IV of fluid to rapidly hydrate you but would drinking a litre of water replace the same volume of fluid given via an IV if it was also 1 litre in volume?","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'an IV fluid ', 'relation': 'can give you', 'condition': 'if you are dehydrated'}]"
572,P0573,1s66dxl,"I’ve noticed that what I fly through most Western European airports or through Qatar or Saudi Arabia they just make you put your entire carry-in bag on a large tray without making you remove all the laptops and other electronics from it. The process is also quite fast.
  
  But when I’m flying through an airport in a third world country (or in the U.S.) they make you remove your laptop(s) from the carry-on bag.
  
  What is the difference?","[{'e1': 'You', 'e2': ' a large tray', 'relation': 'put your entire carry-in bag on', 'condition': 'when you fly through most western european airports'}, {'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'the carry-on bag', 'relation': 'make you remove your laptop from ', 'condition': 'when you fly through an airport of a third world country'}]"
573,P0574,1s6kbop,"Even when I cook meat on it, I just run super hot water over it and scrape off any visible debris, and apparently this is all I need to do. Why doesn’t this need to be more thoroughly cleaned like a metal pan?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'just run super hot water over', 'condition': 'when I cook meat on it'}]"
574,P0575,1s70s9j,I grew up in the PNW. Wild blackberries aren’t only abundant but often a nuisance. I remember people borrowing or loaning out goats because they can eat the bushes. I recall my stepdad getting a horrible case of poison oak once when he’d been paid to clear blackberry bushes that had taken over someone’s property. I remember walking for miles and miles on old abandoned roads picking them and even with eating two for every one I put in the bucket we’d still have more than we could carry. So why in the world are they priced like gold at the grocery store?,"[{'e1': 'my stepdad', 'e2': ' poison oak', 'relation': 'got a horrible case of', 'condition': 'when he had been paid to clear blackberry bushes'}]"
575,P0576,1s75gxi,"For example, imagine someone studying the long-term side effects of a measles vaccine. They look at two groups - one who took the shot and one who didn't. The first group is likely to have more people die from e.g. cancer, simply because they have way less people dying from measles and its consequences, and they have to eventually die from something. In other words, if you only look at statistics, it would look like this vaccine and cancer are correlated, which is not true - the second group would have the same amount of people dying from cancer, they just died from measles first. How do researchers account for this issue? Is it similar to excess mortality method that was used to determine the amount of covid-related deaths?","[{'e1': 'it', 'e2': ' cancer ', 'relation': 'would look like there is a correlation between this vaccine and', 'condition': 'if you only look at statistics'}]"
576,P0577,1s778rm,"If we can only know the state of the particle when we observe it, why don't we use that to our advantage and pick a 0 or 1 based on the spin after wave function collapse?","[{'e1': 'We ', 'e2': 'the state of the particle', 'relation': 'can only know', 'condition': 'when we observe it'}]"
577,P0578,1s78jq4,"In the Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia, the tide range is up to 16 meters. In Halifax, less than 200km away, it is less than 2 meters. I kind of just assumed the ocean was always at the same level, like if the earth were flat, it wouldn't be higher in some parts, and it would be completely flat like in Minecraft. It just doesn't make sense any other way since gravity pulls the water down. If the tide ranges are correct, and low tide was at the same level for both places, wouldn't the water in the Bay of Fundy be 14 meters higher than in Halifax? I feel like that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.","[{'e1': 'The ocean', 'e2': 'some parts', 'relation': 'would not be higher in', 'condition': 'if the earth were flat'}]"
578,P0579,1s7guev,"If left to dry, then they need a good soak for a while to be removed.","[{'e1': 'They ', 'e2': ' a good soak ', 'relation': 'need ', 'condition': 'if left to dry'}]"
579,P0580,1s7nneg,"I know the answer is ""motion blur"", so that Pixar animation must have perfected the blur of a moving rendered object at 24 fps, so why can't video games do this? I'd rather have higher graphic fidelity in a game like GTA6 at 30 fps *if it can be smooth like Pixar animation* rather than making image quality trade-offs to achieve 60 fps with no blur.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a game like GTA6 at 3ps', 'relation': 'would rather have higher graphic fidelity in', 'condition': 'if it can be smooth like pixar animation'}]"
580,P0581,1s7o4lj,"I’ve been thinking about switching to a magnetic setup for a while now, mainly to clean up the cable mess on my bedside and just make charging easier. I recently saw the INIU P73 on discount which kinda pushed me to seriously consider it. 
  
  What I’m stuck on is the whole battery health thing. People always say magnetic/wireless charging degrades your battery faster than wired but no one really explains if it’s actually noticeable in real use. Even if it does degrade a bit faster, does that really matter in the long run? 
  
  I’d be using it daily and probably taking it along for spring hikes too, so the convenience is a big plus...just don’t want to regret it later if it actually messes with battery health.Would really appreciate if someone could clear this up. Is the concern legit or just one of those things people repeat?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': ' a magnetic setup', 'relation': ""don't want to regret changing to"", 'condition': 'if it actually messes with battery health.'}]"
581,P0582,1s82nfu,"I've never experienced one myself, but lots of videos online show a bright, clear sky right after a tornado passes. Instead of a gradual change from rain and wind to clear skies, it seems to happen really quickly. What causes this to happen?","[{'e1': 'Lots of videos online', 'e2': 'a bright,clear sky', 'relation': 'show', 'condition': 'right after a tornado passes'}]"
582,P0583,1s8ai6z,"Like, at school, if two kids who were having a disagreement I sit them down next to each other and tell them to sort things out by the time I come back to check on them. I usually come back to a problem solved after about 5 mins.
  
  I imagine it’s slightly different at world leader level 🤔","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'each other', 'relation': 'sit them down next to ', 'condition': 'if two kids are having a disagreement'}]"
583,P0584,1s8i0wz,"So I just got a new computer monitor, and in the past I've tried wrapping my head around HDR, and it just doesn't click for me. I understand it is high dynamic range, and that it is supposed to increase the range between the darkest and brightest possible colours.
  
  However there's a HDR setting in the monitor settings, there's a HDR setting in Windows (that makes everything look incredibly washed out), and there is often HDR settings in games. I've not been able to find any good way to test it on/off with any actual visible difference.
  
  Is HDR actually something usable today? How do I actually get the benefits of having a HDR monitor? Thanks in advance!
  
  EDIT: Thanks everyone! Waaaaay too many comments to thank you all individually, but I really do feel like I've got a better understanding of what's going on now. 
  For those interested, it seems that my new monitor (XG2736-2K) isn't \*actually\* all that capable of HDR. Which I'm fine with, it isn't what I bought the monitor for. But I do feel much better equipped to go down that path in the future if I feel like it. Thanks again! :)","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'that path', 'relation': 'feel equipped to go down', 'condition': 'if I feel like it'}]"
584,P0585,1s8iybj,"I don't understand electricity and now my head hurts. I'm looking specifically at simple/parallel circuits. What I do get (mostly):
  
  * Atoms in copper wires exist in a grid-like structure and are surrounded by a 'sea' of electrons
  * When power is turned on, the cathode repels electrons and the anode attracts electrons, causing a net drift of electrons from cathode>anode
  * This net drift is very slow, however the flow of energy so fast it's near instantaneous
  * Electricity conveys potential energy (As opposed to kinetic or heat energy) and this potential energy can be converted into different forms
  
  What I decidedly do not get:
  
  * What actually is potential energy? My understanding is that this refers to the amount of usable energy the electron can pass along to the lightbulb/resistor/whatever to then be converted into its desirable form. How does an electron actually store and release this energy?
  * If electrons are the 'carriers' of this energy, why does energy flow so quickly whereas electrons flow so slowly?
  
  TL;DR Why do electrons drift slowly but energy flows very quickly, and what actually is electrical energy?","[{'e1': 'the cathode', 'e2': 'electrons', 'relation': 'repels', 'condition': 'when power is turned on'}, {'e1': 'the anode', 'e2': 'electrons', 'relation': 'attracts', 'condition': 'when power is turned on'}]"
585,P0586,1s8prll,"In all freezers which are powered on, it’s always cold, icy, freezing…. We all know that it’s the job of a freezer to be cold. 
  
  But how does it suck out all of that heat, or only suck up cold? Filters for temperature? Is it Atom Splitting? 
  
  I mean I could do the reverse, where does a microwave get its heat from? Ovens? Air fryers? Does it suck on some warmth? Split more atoms? 
  
  The most likely way I can think of is that my freezer is splitting atoms, and taking the cold from atoms and leaving the warmth out… but if that’s happening…. Why isn’t the air around a freezer warm?","[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'all freezers', 'relation': 'is always cold,icy,freezing in', 'condition': 'when powdered on'}]"
586,P0587,1s8rf8q,"When editing in Lightroom, RAW images have much more ‘information’ to work with. But where does that come from? Isn’t every pixel just an RGB value and there you go?
  
  What kind of magic makes it possible that you can edit a near black image to the point where it looks just fine?","[{'e1': 'RAW images', 'e2': 'information ', 'relation': 'have to work with much more', 'condition': 'when editing with Lightroom'}]"
587,P0588,1s9oz8r,"Hi Everyone,
  
  This is your monthly megathread for current/ongoing events. We recognize there is a lot of interest in objective explanations to ongoing events so we have created this space to allow those types of questions.
  
  Please ask your question as top level comments (replies to the post) for others to reply to. The rules are still in effect, so no politics, no soapboxing, no medical advice, etc. We will ban users who use this space to make political, bigoted, or otherwise inflammatory points rather than objective topics/explanations.","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'users', 'relation': 'will ban', 'condition': 'who use this space to make political,bigoted,or otherwise inflammatory points rather than objective topics'}]"
588,P0589,1s9wqpu,"Fell into a 2am rabbit hole about the Tacoma Narrows bridge collapse and learned that armies are actually trained to break their marching rhythm when crossing bridges. That completely broke my brain. Like engineers will spend years and lots of government money building something that can support insane amounts of weight but a couple hundred guys walking in a coordinated rhythm could potentially mess with it more than all that load combined? What is actually happening physically at that point, is the bridge literally vibrating itself apart? How does frequency do something that raw weight cant? I was literally playing Ѕtake on my phone and started scrolling afterwards and fell on this rabbit hole that straight up amazed me.","[{'e1': 'Armies', 'e2': 'their marching rhythm', 'relation': 'are trained to break', 'condition': 'when crossing bridges'}]"
589,P0590,1s9yrnm,I'm sorry if I'm just incredibly stupid but I just need some help understanding. Is this a practice more for the witnesses to feel like they are keeping the victim alive or is there real science to this in regards to encouraging the victim to maintain consciousness? Like could you prolong somebody's life after a traumatic injury simply by reminding them to stay awake? I know I would be saying this to someone if I saw something happen but would I be helping? Thanks!,"[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'someone', 'relation': 'would be saying this to', 'condition': 'if I saw something happen'}]"
590,P0591,1sa5g71,"It just seems so unnecessary. Who is asking for this? Smart buttons are harder to operate without visually looking and also hard to know how long, hard, or subtle a “press” needs to be to work. Also seem more prone to issues with moisture, lag, easier to double press a single button or accidentally press two at once when placed close together. Tactile buttons are easy. Surely smart buttons can’t be easier to manufacture?","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'two buttons', 'relation': ' is easier to accidentally press at once', 'condition': 'when placed close together'}]"
591,P0592,1saibgy,"I know that computer software and files are in 1s and 0s, and that data sometimes get corrupted when transferred(like the 1s and 0s gets flipped). How is it that error correction knows that, 
  A) a file is corrupted 
  B) which bit of it is corrupted and needs flipping?","[{'e1': 'Data', 'e2': 'corruption', 'relation': 'sometimes experiences', 'condition': 'when transferred'}]"
592,P0593,1sb2u0k,"For example, I once bought a CD (Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg). It told me the game wouldn't work on my Windows 7 computer for some reason, only on Windows Vista
  
  Another example, I try to find an old game on the app store. It tells me it's not compatible on my newer phone","[{'e1': 'The game', 'e2': 'my windows 7 computer', 'relation': ""wouldn't work on"", 'condition': 'only on windows Vista'}]"
593,P0594,1sb697p,"I’ve noticed that sometimes when I’m pulled an all-nighter or I'm way past my bedtime, I suddenly go from feeling like a zombie to being wide awake and full of energy. It feels like my brain just decided to drink three espressos out of nowhere, even though I haven't had any caffeine.
  
  How does our body suddenly find this hidden energy when we should be crashing? Is it actually ""fake"" energy, and do we pay a price for it the next morning?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a zombie ', 'relation': 'suddenly change from feeling like', 'condition': 'when I pulled an all-nighter or I am way past my bedtime'}]"
594,P0595,1qtgku6,"In August 2025 I was diagnosed with ogliostatic PCA. Contained to the prostate plus a bb/pea sized tumor on t11. I was technically stage 4 with Gleason 8/9 cores in half of my prostate. I’m ecstatic to say that after focused SBRT for the t11, 5 months of ADT and 30 of 38 IMRT sessions to the prostate I am now at a PSA of 0.04 ng/dl which is normally considered NED (no evidence of disease). According to AI for my situation this is an exceptional state of affairs. Be realistic, but do not give up hope my brothers!","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'PSA of 0.04', 'relation': 'am now at a ', 'condition': 'after focused SBRT for the t11,5 months of ADT and 30 of 38 IMRT sessions'}]"
595,P0596,1qtjk7q,"A year has passed since my PSA test came back with 11.4. The blood tests, biopsy, MRI, PSMA PET scan, surgery, recovery, catheter, incontinence... ugh. The dread before surgery was the worst. 
  
  Gleason 8 going into surgery. PSMA PET scan had ""debatable"" hotspots on a lymph node. Discussions with multiple radiologists, medical oncologists and several surgeons. Everyone said do the surgery. Even the radiation guys said do surgery. I took the advice. (And I'm not saying do one treatment vs. another, I'm a proponent of let your pathology and Dr. steer you to a treatment. And if you don't believe your Dr., find another Dr.). 
  
  Post surgery results, the lymph nodes were all negative, margins were clear. 
  
  90 days later, I'm dreading the blood test. The stiffness in my legs, the chill in my abdomen as I sit down for the blood draw. Will I have to do all this again but the radiation flavor? Got the results back...PSA was non-detectable. 
  
  Another blood test in 6 months. We don't ever get to fully walk away. 
  
  But this week I'm packing my fly rods to chase some steelhead trout in the Pacific Northwest. Life goes on. 
  
  Stay strong.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'doctor', 'relation': 'advise finding another', 'condition': ""if you don't believe your doctor""}]"
596,P0597,1qu41cq,"Had RALP in Oct 2024. The first PSA post-surgery, 3 months later was .02; then the next 3 months, .05; then 3 months later, .05 again. This time it was .099
  
  Anybody with similar results in the past have experience with what was next?
  
  I know the official reoccurrence is listed as .2.
  
  
  and if I didn't have the ultra-sensitive test, I would have just gotten 4 < .1 results.
  
  So a pattern, but am I splitting hairs here?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': '4<.1 results', 'relation': 'would have just gotten ', 'condition': ""if i didn't have the ultra-sensitive test""}]"
597,P0598,1que7c3,"I have learned about a genetic mutation called BRCA. If it is in your germline, it affects your propensity to get PCa. As I am recently diagnosed with PCa, what purpose will it serve me to be tested for this mutation. If I am positive for BRCA Mutation, how will it affect my treatment strategy?","[{'e1': 'BRCA', 'e2': 'PCa', 'relation': 'affects your propensity to get', 'condition': 'if it is in your germline'}]"
598,P0599,1quqzdt,"My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer in Nov 2024 aged 60. He progressed from stage 2 to 3 after initial tests MRI, biopsy, PSA, PET scan etc. He completed radiotherapy July 2025 after 20 cycles over a couple of weeks. At his first appointment I found out he had stage 3 cancer with bone metastasis. He’s currently on hormone therapy but no further scans or anything planned. He’s anaemic so he’s on iron and gets regular blood tests. He’s also got high blood pressure. All this is related to the cancer as he was extremely healthy before. Anyway more recently he’s started having joint pain in his knee and hips, he’s on codeine but complains the pain is quite bad. So he spends all day sleeping, only getting up to eat and go to the toilet. It’s been like this the past few weeks/months. Just wondering if this is a particularly bad sign, how much he’s sleeping? Is he on the decline? Just looking for some honest advice based on others’ experience.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'stage 3 cancer with bone metastasis', 'relation': 'found out he has ', 'condition': 'at his first appointment'}, {'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'sleep', 'relation': 'only gets up from', 'condition': 'when he wants to eat or use the tiolet'}]"
599,P0600,1qutbk4,"Have been on active surveillance for 3 years, had 2 prior biopsies that showed a couple samples of 3+3. Last MRI showed no signs of change but my PSA jumped from 9 to 12 so we decided a biopsy was prudent. Results showed 1 sample of 3+4, all others negative. 
  
  I have my follow up in 2 days and I would like some advice on what to ask. 
  
  I’m seriously considering getting treatment and want to ask about proton beam therapy. 
  
  I feel that now is the time to move on from AS but if I can avoid removal I would like to.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'prostate', 'relation': 'would like to avoid remoal of', 'condition': 'if I can'}]"
600,P0601,1qwe7ey,"Hubby was diagnosed with prostate cancer last June. Had MRI, showed two Pirads 4 lesions, and one Pirads 5 lesion. No Seminal vesicles or extension beyond prostate capsule. 
  
  Biopsy of 13 cores, one had cancer, one was indeterminate. Don’t have notes handy with percentage of cancerous core. Had a PHI score of 89, and high decipher as well. Gleason 7. He has been on active surveillance since June. PSA 10.9. Saw new urologist and because hubby’s prostate is mega sized at 160cc, she says hubby needs surgery. Reasoning being that biopsy may not have captured any cancer that could be missed because of the size of the gland. Hubby will have RASP to reduce size of prostate, and later radiation to kill the cancer. For the last couple of months, hubby has had low back pain, hip pain, and rib pain. Is it possible for the cancer to have metastasized in 10 months time? We saw a radiation oncologist and asked about PSMA PET scan. He said they would only do the scan if it was a higher grade cancer or Gleason. Hubby is scheduled for surgery in March. Should we insist on the PET scan before surgery, to see if the cancer has possibly metastasized? Or just forget it, because he is having surgery, and a couple of months later radiation? Hubby has several enlarged lymph nodes in his abdomen and pelvis, which they believe is due to his chronic lymphocytic leukemia. Would the PET scan determine if the lymph nodes are definitively due to CLL or if they are due to prostate cancer? 
  
  Thank you.","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'the PSMA PET scan', 'relation': 'would only do ', 'condition': 'if it was a higher grade cancer or Gleason'}]"
601,P0602,1qwybfo,"my dad has stage iv prostate cancer(he has a spot on his hip). He had the prostate removed, is on hormone blockers, and completeed 6 rounds of chemo a few weeks ago. His PSAs are way down (can’t remember the exact number). He had a follow up visit with his doctor a few days ago and was told that because his PSAs are so low, they don’t need to do a PET scan. Is this standard? Don‘t they need the PET scan to see if the spot on his bone is the same size?
  
  Dad and I aren’t particularly close. he hung up the phone on me when I asked this question.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'hung up the phone on', 'condition': 'when I asked this question'}]"
602,P0603,1qx5a0g,"In November my Urologist put in a requisition for a PET Psma scan. 
  
  My surgery was in October and my 6 weeks PSA was 7 not 0. My 3 month followup in January was 9. My margins were clear and lymph nodes negative. But I'm producing PSA from somewhere which the PET PSMA will detect. 
  
  Problem is, I still dont have an appointment 3 months later. In BC, there is a shortage of the radioactive element used by all the BC Cancer agencies in the province so waitlists are long and growing. 
  
  So on Monday I put a requisition into the only private PET scanner in BC who use a different isotope which isn't in shortage. 
  
  It will cost $3,200 but I think it's vital to know. 
  
  However, I havent heard back yet so I'm thinking they're swamped due to the shortage at BC Cancer driving all us desperate Cancer patients to bombard them.
  
  I've heard that there are clinics in Mexico that will do the PET Psma. Anyone had experience going there? Not sure what they charge.
  
  Haven't tried US yet but open to suggestions.
  
  My urologist ordered another PSA for the end of February to see whether the acceleration is continuing. If it is he may start temporary hormone shots to knock the PSA down. 
  
  He doesn't really want to start hormone therapy or refer me to a radiation-oncologist without the PET PSMA which makes perfect sense I believe.
  
  Thanks as always for your thoughts, advice and support. This group is awesome.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'hormone shots', 'relation': 'may start temporary ', 'condition': 'if PSA is accelerating'}]"
603,P0604,1qxvmlk,"I'm one month post RALP today...hard to believe one month already! I had my catheter removed 23 days ago; but who's counting! 
  
  Anyway, I need to ask about some symptoms and what you think I'm doing wrong or not doing.
  
  I wore the full diapers for almost 3 weeks, then changed to the pads about 4 or 5 days ago. I've been doing fairly well, I thought, but yesterday it all seemed to change! I went with feeling a little leak or two when I stand up, or walk around, etc...especially when I kneel down/stand back up...to suddenly not having any control at all! I'm fairly good while sitting/lying down, almost no leakage at all, but as soon as I stand up, the flood gates just open! By the time I get to the bathroom, there's nothing left to pee out! I just went for a 15 minute walk. I put some TP in my shorts between me and the pad, went for the walk, and when I returned, the TP was soaked! The last 24 hrs I seem to just go/leak out constantly! Last night was the first time I've ever leaked past the pad I was wearing, and I did wear a full diaper to bed last night!
  
  I don't drink regular coffee or beer; I drink Chamomile tea in the morning and water throughout the day. I splurged with a half glass of red wine the evening before this started, and I've had a couple small decaf coffees the last few days, but that's it for liquids.
  
  So I'd like to know if anyone else has gone through a period of relapse after seeming to be improving. I read on another post about causing the bladder to become overactive...any ideas on what I might be doing to cause that?
  
  They say we need exercise, but as soon as I do something, I lose it; so I sit too much so I can go to the bathroom less often and try to train my bladder to hold more and learn to not need to go as often. 
  
  The last thing I should mention is I haven't really been doing any pelvic exercises, but when I'm able to have a full urine stream, I can fully stop it by squeezing! So I feel my kegels are in decent shape; but if there are any other exercises that would help, I'd definitely be interested.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a little leak', 'relation': 'was feeling ', 'condition': 'when I stand up or walk around'}, {'e1': 'There', 'e2': 'leakage', 'relation': 'is almost no', 'condition': 'when I sit/lay down'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'lose', 'condition': 'as soon as I do something'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'can fully stop by squeezing', 'condition': 'when I am able to have a full urine stream'}]"
604,P0605,1qyiks4,They gave him his results over the phone and said they’d just monitor it every three months with blood tests if he didn’t want his prostate removed ( he doesn’t ) . Should he get a second opinion ? Is it likely to spread elsewhere in a short amount of time ?,"[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'blood tests', 'relation': 'said to just monitor it every 3 months with', 'condition': ""if he didn't want his prostate removed""}]"
605,P0606,1qyim1j,"Hi all, 
  
  I wanna state first that I am not seeking medical advice from Reddit and already have my followups scheduled with a urologist. I'd just like an open discussion and honest feedback and opinions if you have them. Nothing you say is going to worry me more than I already am. 
  
  tl;dr: I'm 44 and had a high PSA (13.8) reading after a long prostate play session 2 days before. I now know this can impact results, but could it have this huge of an impact? (in the full story below, I mention that I already have a follow up scheduled and will disclose all of this to my doc)
  
  At 44, I had my PSA added to my labs for the first time ever. I did this because my dad had prostate cancer show up sometime in his mid to late 50's ( prostate removal and fine now for the past 15 years) and my grandfather was diagnosed late 70's but they only monitored. He passed away in his 80's from something unrelated. (note: I think my dad had a partial removal if I remember correctly, if that's a thing? (I'll have to ask)
  
  I was pretty shocked to see my own reading come back at 13.8, which is pretty high for my age. 
  
  I immediately got a referral from my PC and made my appointment with the Urologist. The lady on the phone was extremely empathetic but was actually surprised my PC didn't have me do a second blood draw just to see if it were a false reading. She also asked if I had intercourse before the blood draw, which can cause spikes in PSA numbers.
  
  While my wife and I did not have intercourse before the blood draw, after some research I saw that direct prostate stimulation can have a large impact on the numbers. My wife and I are pretty big on prostate play. 
  
  Two days before the blood test, I actually had a pretty long and intense solo session with a prostate specific massager. I'll typically do this twice a week. Until now, I didn't realize it would impact PSA numbers, so obviously I'll abstain for any future tests. 
  
  I will tell my doctor about all of this 
  
  Just opinions, does it seem likely that direct and intense prostate stimulation two days before my test could raise numbers this high?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'opinions/feedback', 'relation': 'would like', 'condition': 'if you have them'}]"
606,P0607,1qytwjb,"I am exhausted.
  
  Team , I went for a 2.5 mile walk this evening in 10°F temps northern michigan. I did this because I am on lupron and zytiga, need to stay active and keep muscle and bone density. I enjoy being outdoors but on my walk the emotions hit hard. Everyone around me thinks that now I am done with chemo, PSA was 93 prior now 2, that I am healing. Next brachy therapy and radiation for 4 weeks. When all this is done I will be ""cured"". They don't understand the ADT effect. After all this is over , the ""old"" me will not be present. I pray that I would be back to my prior self but that door has closed. ADT has stripped my identity, confidence, masculinity and I cry more than I ever have spontaneously. I am fighting the fight but it's exhausting. I know I am not the only one feeling this.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'prostrate cancer', 'relation': 'will be cured from', 'condition': 'when all this is done'}]"
607,P0608,1qzsu4p,"**The Background:** I am a 68-year-old male. My journey started with a year of **Active Surveillance** after my biopsy and genetic screening. I ultimately moved to treatment after my PSA continued to climb and imaging showed cancer in four distinct regions.
  
  **The Pathology (Biopsy & Genomics):**
  
  * **Clinical Stage:** T1c.
  * **Biopsy PSA:** 6.41 ng/mL.
  * **Gleason Score:** 3 + 4 (Intermediate Risk).
  * **Decipher Genomic Score:** **0.36 (Low Risk)**.
  * **Genomic Impact:** This low score was the deciding factor that gave me the confidence to pursue **Active Surveillance** for a full year before the PSA trend necessitated treatment.
  
  **MRI Findings (PI-RADS 5 & 4):**
  
  * **Primary Lesion:** PI-RADS 5 (1.6 cm) in the right anterior transition zone at the apex, suspicious for microscopic extraprostatic extension.
  * **Secondary Lesion:** PI-RADS 4 (1.4 cm) in the right peripheral zone at the base.
  
  **The Decision (Duke vs. UNC):** I sought opinions at both Duke and UNC. While Duke has brilliant surgeons, I found the focus stayed very narrow. I wanted a more holistic conversation about radiation and ended up at **UNC with Dr. Repka**. His team spent more time answering questions than any doctors I’ve ever had.
  
  **The Protocol & Treatment:**
  
  * **Preparation:** Two weeks before treatment, I had the marker/spacer implants and CT simulation (using twilight meds and a bladder catheter for benchmarking).
  * **Pre-hab:** My RO started me on **Flomax** and **Tadalafil (5mg)** two weeks before implants, and I stayed on both for 6 months post-treatment.
  * **The Sessions:** 5 CyberKnife treatments—""easy peasy"" compared to the stress of the decision.
  
  **The Results (PSA Progress):**
  
  * **Pre-Treatment PSA:** 6.2.
  * **3-Month PSA:** 1.58.
  * **6-Month PSA:** 1.04.
  
  **The Outcome (Functional):** I could not be any happier. I've had **no ED issues and no peeing issues**. My only observation is a slight decrease in ejaculate volume, which is an expected outcome.
  
  **My Advice to the Newly Diagnosed:**
  
  1. **Read the Book:** Get **Walsh’s Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer**. You don’t need to read it all—just the sections that apply to your current stage.
  2. **Get a 2nd Opinion:** If you are near Duke, I highly suggest a second look at UNC.
  3. **Research SBRT:** More people need to know about CyberKnife.
  
  >","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'UNC', 'relation': 'highly suggest a second look at', 'condition': 'if you are near Duke'}]"
608,P0609,1qzyrtb,"A PSA test is a general prostate health check. An MRI can indicate whether there are irregularities present. but only a biopsy will give explicit results. 
  
  I've read of tests such as Stockholm3 which do better than PSA, but fall short of the diagnostic potential of a biopsy. Are there any new blood tests being developed that will better detect aggressive cancer? I ask because those who get a Gleason 3+3 diagnosis then have to undergo active surveillance. It would be awesome if a blood test could replace the need for regular biopsies.","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'awesome', 'relation': 'would be', 'condition': 'if a blood test could replace the need for refgular biopsy'}]"
609,P0610,1r028ch,"Hi everyone, seeking some insight and hope for my dad. He was recently diagnosed with very aggressive Gleason(5+5) prostate cancer.
  
  **The Stats:**
  
  1) PSA: 10.10
  
  2) PSMA PET shows a 7cm primary tumor (T4) with extensive spread to lymph nodes from the pelvis all the way up to the abdomen (para-aortic/retrocrural).
  
  3) PSMA PET confirmed zero bone or organ spread.
  
  **Current Status:** Just started ADT Firmagon (Degarelix)
  
  When I searched online, my dad’s case looks rare to have a Gleason 10 with only PSA 10 that has only spread to distant lymph nodes and not bones yet.
  
  Any advice on experiences with Gleason 9–10, node-only disease,how long treatment worked, Average survival would mean the world to us right now. Thank you !","[{'e1': ""My dad's case"", 'e2': 'a Gleason 10 ', 'relation': 'looks rare to have ', 'condition': 'when I searched online'}]"
610,P0611,1r0h92o,"So my dad 69M has had some urinary concerns. Frequent urge to pee, very very occasional tinge of blood in urine when he is tired. Around 5 years ago, his PSA was elevated (I think it was something in the 6s)
  
  He also now seems to have a frozen shoulder and occasional back pain (but his back pain seems to have gone away now? He complains about it less, and also attributes it to his hernia) and he takes some cholesterol and bp medications because he has had a heart attack and a stroke before.
  
  So he has some symptoms, he’s gotten a repeat psa recently and it was 8 point something.
  
  He just got a cystoscopy and ultrasound done, he was told that his bladder is fine but just get a kidney ct just in case, and the ultrasound shows that his prostate is enlarged and pressing on his bladder, get a biopsy to rule out cancer. 
  
  He was prescribed flomax in the meanwhile and told to get a repeat psa test done after stopping saw palmetto, but now I’m wondering if his other supplements or medications have been masking his psa to not be alarmingly high and therefore masking possible pc..","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'his urine', 'relation': 'has very occassional tinge of blood in ', 'condition': 'when he is tired'}]"
611,P0612,1r0mnbg,"3 years post radial prostectomy.....after surgery I did not receive any radiation or hormones. PSA stayed basically at .010 or less for 18 months. The past 18 months, measured 2 times.......020, .030 now .050. 
  I'm 53 years old with what my Urologist calls ""very bad pathology "". He is now strongly recommending general spectrum radiation. Oncologist says it's also the best route. 
  I'm struggling because the measurement is of course small enough to not be able to be detected by a PET. If I need to take it I will. Just struggling with a radiologist ""selecting the region that should provide the most yield"", which is to say they'll guess at where to zap, and then start radiating away. 
  Thoughts?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'radiation', 'relation': 'will take', 'condition': 'if I need to'}]"
612,P0613,1r1b46u,"I’m 54 and was diagnosed with prostate cancer 9/25. I wanted to summarize my situation and ask for perspective, especially from anyone who’s been through SBRT.
  
  Here’s the full picture:
  
  * PSA rose from 2.9 to 4.5 over about a year
  * MRI showed two lesions:
  * PI-RADS 4 in the right posterior peripheral zone
  * PI-RADS 3 in the left posterolateral peripheral zone
  * MRI-guided biopsy with 22 cores taken
  * 13 cores positive
  * Predominantly Gleason 3+4 (Grade Group 2)
  * One core initially read as higher pattern 4 but downgraded on second opinion at an NCI center
  * Clinical stage T2c
  * Prostate volume \~31 cc
  * PSA density \~0.13
  * No extracapsular extension, no lymph node involvement, no bone lesions on imaging
  
  Additional staging:
  
  * PSMA PET scan
  * No evidence of metastatic disease
  * No lymph node involvement
  * No bone lesions
  * Uptake consistent only with known prostate-confined disease
  * No findings that would upstage me beyond localized cancer
  
  Genomic testing:
  
  * Decipher score: 0.63 (high risk by Decipher standards)
  * ArteraAI: negative for benefit from ADT
  
  Based on all of this, my care team and I decided on SBRT without ADT. I’m being treated at Moffitt. I’ll be getting SpaceOAR and fiducials placed prior to radiation.
  
  Here’s where my question comes in.
  
  Moffitt called to schedule fiducials and mapping. They offered me two dates: 2/24 or 3/24. They clearly assumed I’d want the earlier one. I chose 3/24 because it was more convenient and, if I’m being honest, because I’m mentally putting this off a bit.
  
  After I hung up, it hit me that the clock is technically ticking, and I started wondering if waiting an extra month was a mistake.
  
  I do understand prostate cancer is typically slow growing, and my doctors haven’t expressed urgency or concern about a short delay. Still, between the Decipher score and the “cancer brain” that kicks in after these calls, I can’t help but second-guess myself.
  
  So my questions are:
  
  * For intermediate-risk patients doing SBRT, does a one-month delay meaningfully affect outcomes?
  * Has anyone else intentionally waited a bit for logistical or emotional reasons?
  * At what point does “reasonable delay” actually become a problem?
  
  I’d really appreciate grounded, experience-based responses. I’m comfortable with my treatment choice overall. I’m just trying to sanity-check the timing decision.
  
  Thanks for reading.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'the whole process', 'relation': 'am mentally putting off', 'condition': 'if I am being honest'}]"
613,P0614,1r1f0q0,"Hi Family I am almost 2 weeks out from my Brachy seed implant surgery and am happy to report that I currently have zero side affects. Urinary, bowels, and sexual function are all back to pre surgery conditions. I hope I’m not jumping the gun but I feel great. I do start me EBRT in two weeks and I opted not to do any ADT and my Dr’a agreed. If anyone is a candidate for Brachy seed implant I am shouting from the mountain top to please consider it! I will keep you posted 🙏🏾","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'Brachy seed implant', 'relation': 'am shouting to please consider', 'condition': 'if anyone is a candidate for it'}]"
614,P0615,1r1jift,"Entering month 12 of planned 24 month orgovyx and Abiraterone protocol following 20 sessions of VMAT radiation. 
  
  63 years old, very active before and after diagnosis with yoga, running, weights, pickleball etc. Recently, joints, in particular knees getting bit tender painful as treatment goes on - very common side effect I know.
  
  I suppose it’s just grin and bear it or back off when it gets too painful, but any tricks or tips from others who have had similar issues? Maybe some useful supplements or types of rehab exercises for the knees?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'yoga/running/weights', 'relation': 'suppose it is just to back off from', 'condition': 'when it gets too painful'}]"
615,P0616,1r1neza,"Today was my first of 34 IMRT sessions. After they were finished, they marked me with a sharpie, approx 3 cm from the tattoo dots. Why did they do this? The tech said they do it because of the planning work. So…was the planning CT wrong?","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'marked ', 'condition': 'after they were finished'}]"
616,P0617,1r1tt4y,"M3 Global Research is conducting a paid 60-minute telephone interview to better understand the real experiences of individuals navigating their cancer journey in the U.S and UK.
  
  If you are interested in sharing your insights, you may qualify to participate and receive compensation for your time. Take part here. 
  
  UK: [http://m3gr.io/AYVTZBE](http://m3gr.io/AYVTZBE)
  
  USA: [http://m3gr.io/DBXNYPS](http://m3gr.io/DBXNYPS)","[{'e1': 'You', 'e2': 'your time', 'relation': 'may qualify to receive compensation for', 'condition': 'if you are interested in sharing your insights'}]"
617,P0618,1r1u2y2,"Hey all 
  
  Really do need any advice you can offer.. 
  
  My husband had his RALP in May of 2025
  
  First PSA in August 2025 - <0.01 ug/L 
  
  PSA in Nov 2025 0.01 ug/L 
  
  PSA in Feb 2026 0.02 ug/L 
  
  Are we in trouble? Please if you could spare the time to help I would be most grateful","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'you', 'relation': 'would be most grateful to', 'condition': 'if you could spare the time'}]"
618,P0619,1r1z6mi,"Hi everyone,
  
  I work in PR for a UK waste company, and we’re currently running a campaign around something that’s still surprisingly overlooked: sanitary bins in men’s public toilets.
  
  We’re offering free male sanitary bins to public-facing businesses and trying to raise awareness of why they’re needed, especially for those who have had treatment for prostate cancer.
  
  As part of the campaign, we’re want to include a written case study from someone who’s experienced the lack of these bins in the UK and would be comfortable being quoted (anonymously if preferred). We’d ask a few questions about availability, how it’s affected you, and what you’d like to see change.
  
  The campaign we're running aims to:
  
  \- Raise awareness of why male sanitary bins are needed.
  
  \- Share data on which major chains have these bins, and show which industries need to do better.
  
  If you’re open to chatting, feel free to comment or DM me. Happy to answer any questions here too.
  
  Thanks for reading.","[{'e1': 'You', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'can feel free to comment or Dm', 'condition': 'if you are open to chatting'}]"
619,P0620,1r25r5x,I was in the room with him the entire time. The only part he had any difficulty with was the insertion of the ultrasound probe and the enema prior. The nurse emphasized that you must relax or they can’t get past the first ring. The injections and biopsies went smoothly and he said that part was quite easy. Hope this helps ease some concerns.,"[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'the first ring', 'relation': ""can't get past "", 'condition': ""if you don't relax""}]"
620,P0621,1r2esbh,"My dad is 60 and I am 25. He’s coming to stay with me in my one bedroom apartment after surgery. He is shy, so I just wanna get everything I can to make him as comfortable as possible & prepare my place for him to be comfortable. Any ideas, supply recommendations, activities to do, etc would be greatly appreciated.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'is coming to stay with', 'condition': 'after surgery'}]"
621,P0622,1r2euxf,"I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2023. Like most men, when I heard the word “cancer,” my mind went straight to one thing: death.
  
  Not illness. Not treatment. Immediately, my head filled with regret.
  
  Everything I hadn’t done.
  
  Everything I hadn’t experienced.
  
  The man I still hadn’t become yet.
  
  Then things moved fast. Really fast.
  
  Appointment after appointment. Blood test after blood test.
  
  Words I didn’t understand being thrown at me like I was supposed to already know them.
  
  PSA.
  
  Gleason score.
  
  Biopsies.
  
  Robotic surgery.
  
  Prostatectomy.
  
  I remember being told my Gleason score and thinking, Is that good or bad? Should I be scared right now?
  
  Nothing slowed down, and no one explained it in plain language.
  
  All I really heard was: “Unfortunately, you have prostate cancer.”
  
  I was terrified. Frozen. Completely unsure how to move forward.
  
  But on the outside, I did what a lot of men do — I tried to be “the man.”
  
  I didn’t take my wife to appointments.
  
  I didn’t take family with me.
  
  I didn’t even tell them straight away.
  
  I carried it alone.
  
  I thought that was strength.
  
  My youngest child didn’t know until a month before my actual surgery was supposed to take place.
  
  I told myself I’d just walk it out. Whatever happens, happens.
  
  I was advised to go straight into surgery, rather than any other treatment, and I did.
  
  ADT. Surgery. Catheter fitted.
  
  The catheter was meant to be in for 10 days.
  
  It stayed in for three months.( that's a whole different story to share).
  
  Because of miscommunication between hospitals, nobody checked properly.
  
  I was sent back and forth, told again and again, “It’s not healed yet.”
  
  When I finally went back to the original hospital, they looked at my notes and said,
  
  “It should have been out two months ago.”
  
  Fifteen minutes later, it was gone.
  
  And honestly?
  
  That was the easy part.
  
  After surgery, I asked the doctor, “So I’m cancer-free now, right?”
  
  He said, “Well… we like to say ‘in remission.’”
  
  That word stuck in my throat.
  
  Because remission means it could come back.
  
  And that’s when the real mental battle began.
  
  Every three months, a PSA test.
  
  Every three months, waiting for a number that could change everything.
  
  On top of that, the life changes no one really prepares you for.
  
  They say, “You might experience some ED,” like it’s a footnote.
  
  For a man, that’s not a footnote.
  
  That hits your confidence, your identity, your sense of self.
  
  This isn’t just a physical fight.
  
  It’s a mental one.
  
  An identity one.
  
  That’s the part no one really talks about.
  
  And that’s why I’m sharing this — because if you’re going through this, you’re not weak or less of a man.
  
  You’re dealing with something that absolutely changes how you may see yourself.
  
  And you shouldn’t have to carry that part alone.
  
  If you’re dealing with this now or have already been through it, I’m curious how you coped with the mental side — because that part is the real ongoing battle.","[{'e1': 'My mind', 'e2': 'death', 'relation': 'went straight to', 'condition': 'when I heard the word cancer'}]"
622,P0623,1r2ht9v,"Sharing some thoughts, hope they can help you. 
  
  1. ⁠First was terrified PCa would kill me, maybe soon. But since it was caught early enough (T2c) and treated, something else will probably debilitate or get me first. If there is BCR, then it’s probably back on ADT sadly and various other treatments. Realized that at age 75, I am not going to live forever, but unlikely of PCa. That I learned.
  
  2. ⁠20x VMAT was kind of a non-issue. Full bladder was never a problem. Sure there were some bladder/bowel frequency/control issues for a few weeks, but way less than a norovirus. Mild fatigue is real and for a couple of weeks after, it don’t fight it and keep up exercise.
  
  3. ⁠About 2 months afterwards I realized, fatigue was gone, was not taking any painkillers, and my bladder control was better than a year before with BPH and urgency dribbles. Good feeling.
  
  4. ⁠In retrospect, the scariest point was the transrectal biopsy, as they said “ah there”, “you got it”. No pain, but you could feel the 16 shots of the “staple gun”. My wife said she had never seen me so pale and worried as afterwards. Would ask for at least some sedation like a Valium or Propofol.
  
  5. ⁠In spite of being warned of the “side-effects” of ADT, the “sexual” libido effects on your psyche were understated. Fortunate not to have any hot flashes, but around 3 months began to loose all interest (mental and physical) in sex. Felt like 6 year old? “Emasculation” is a good term. On the other hand, it dropped my PSA down to 0.01. Need to see what happens in the coming year now that that 9 months just completed. 70% of the energy and life enthusiasm?
  
  6. ⁠Most important, appreciated better the importance of supportive spouse (in many different ways, including cuddles), family, friends, and discovering how many men I knew/met had gone through PCa treatment, quite successfully. Discovered this subreddit.","[{'e1': 'It ', 'e2': 'ADT', 'relation': 'is probably back to', 'condition': 'if there is BCR'}]"
623,P0624,1r2riah,"I’m sharing my story in hopes it helps others with their own decisions. I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer a little over a year ago at age 54. My initial biopsy showed Gleason 3+3 in three cores, and my urologist recommended an immediate RALP.
  ​However, I spent the time between my biopsy and my follow-up doing my homework. After a lot of reading and joining this group, I understood what a Gleason 6 diagnosis meant for me. I opted for Active Surveillance (AS) instead. For the last year, I’ve done PSA tests every three months, an MRI at six months, and my one-year biopsy last week.
  ​My doctor called today with news she was too excited to wait until my appointment to share: My latest biopsy showed Gleason 6 in only one core out of twelve! As long as my PSA stays stable, my next biopsy isn’t for another three years.
  ​I know I’ve been fortunate, and I was fully prepared to pursue treatment if the results had gone the other way. But my advice to anyone starting this journey is: Do your research. Ask questions. Don’t be rushed into a decision before you're ready. It is your decision and yours alone.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'understood what a Gleason 6 diagnosis meant for', 'condition': 'after a lot of reading and joining this group'}, {'e1': 'My next biopsy', 'e2': 'three years', 'relation': ""isn't for another"", 'condition': 'as long as my PSA stays stable'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'treatment', 'relation': 'was fully prepared to pursue', 'condition': 'if the results have gone the other way'}]"
624,P0625,1r32564,"They really don’t want us to be poopy or farty when we come in…
  
  I understand why it’s better for our treatment, but why would their beams thank us?","[{'e1': 'They', 'e2': 'poppy or farty ', 'relation': 'do not want us to be poppy or farty ', 'condition': 'when we come in'}]"
625,P0626,1r3fa1i,"I’m doing ADT and I rarely have sexual urges but I occasionally masturbate. The last time I did when I was orgasming instead of nothing coming out, as usual, I urinated. Luckily I was in the shower. My question is: has that ever happened to you? Should I be concerned? Should I mention it to my oncologist next time I get my testing/shot? Should I mention it to my urologist? It was just really weird and now I’m afraid to have any kind of sex with my wife.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'the last time', 'relation': 'urinated ', 'condition': 'when I was orgasming'}]"
626,P0627,1r3tkdw,"Hi everyone. I have a question regarding my symptoms and I hope if you can shed some light on my case. 
  October - I had a lower back pain, which stopped before October ended. 
  
  November - I started having ""pressure"" sensation in my left kidney when I started urinating. Also, I felt cramps in my lymph nodes in the groin area. This stopped in the second half of December
  
  December - As soon as that sensation stopped, I started having squeezing feeling in my urethra, occasional urgency, and I started dribbling after urination. Ultrasound showed slighty enlarged prostate. 
  
  January - All of this stopped in the middle of the January 
  
  February - From the begging of the month my neck lymph nodes started swelling. Currently waiting for a new ultrasound and PSA test, it's scheduled for the end of this month
  
  I have a PC history, grandfather had it in his 60s, I'm 36 years old. Do you recognize this as prostate cancer? What do you suggest I should try? Should I push further? 
  
  Urologist is forcing antibiotics, I'm loosing my patience and don't feel good overall.
  
  Thank you","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'my left kidney', 'relation': 'started having pressure sensation in', 'condition': 'when I started urinating'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'my urethra', 'relation': 'started having squeezing feeling in', 'condition': 'as soon as that sensation stopped'}]"
627,P0628,1r3z7gb,"I am Gleason 4+3 with clear PSMA PET Scan and 0.89 Decipher. 
  
  I am engaged with MSK as I want to use their best of breed cancer fighting skills, knowledge and equipment.
  
  Today's visit was with the surgeon. He said he can remove the diseased prostate. More than likely I will end up with a dead dick. I will also have urinary incontinence for a while that should improve over time. Post RALP only 2% of men need an artificial sphincter. 
  
  The positives of RALP are 1)diseased organ is gone, 2) no ADT, 3) full staging of removed organ, and 4) Radiation can be performed afterwards if needed.
  
  The negatives are urinary, and sexual function loss and the potential for positive margins.
  
  The visit turned out as expected. I meet with the RO soon.","[{'e1': 'Radiation', 'e2': 'RALP', 'relation': 'can be performed after ', 'condition': 'if needed'}]"
628,P0629,1r450k9,"After we found out that PSA had not dropped after surgery (5.7 before → 5.8 at 11 weeks), everything changed.
  Because pathology came back as pT2 (organ-confined), we truly believed the disease had been correctly staged pre-operatively and that surgery would be curative. The persistent PSA was therefore completely unexpected.
  A PSMA PET was then performed and showed pelvic lymph node involvement, with no distant metastases.
  One of the most difficult aspects has been the retrospective realization that there were already subtle signs on the first pre-surgery MRI that may have suggested the disease was not fully confined. In hindsight, it feels like the initial staging might have underestimated the extent of disease.
  The shock has been twofold: – First, that the surgery was not curative as we believed. – Second, that there may have been earlier indications that weren’t fully integrated into staging.
  The current proposed plan is pelvic radiotherapy (25 sessions) with an additional focused boost (3 CyberKnife sessions), combined with 2 years of ADT.
  I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through 2 years of ADT with pelvic radiation — especially in terms of side effects, emotional impact, and overall tolerability.
  Thank you all in advance. I need to be prepared for what is coming so i can help him.","[{'e1': 'Everything', 'e2': 'the plan', 'relation': 'changed about', 'condition': 'after we found out that PSA had not dropped after surgery'}]"
629,P0630,1r4sft9,"A year ago my PSA levels were first noticed during a routine physical. Im 58 now. The psa was 6.7 and I had an MRI and a biopsy and was told it would be monitored. 
  Flash to a year later (last Thanksgiving) my PSA levels rose to 12.9 and the doc said the ship siled as far as monitoring it and we should talk about treatment.
  Then since Thanksgiving I have eaten nothing except fruits vegetables and nuts and seeds and fatty fish like salmon and soy milk. Nothing else. No dairy or re meat or processed stuff nothing. Ive dropped 15lbs. I was 185 lbs (5'9"") and now 170. Another 10 or so I should be where I should be.
  Anyway, I made a sit down last week with my urologist to help me understand what's going on and we took another PSA bloodwork. He said if it is still the same then no since in a biopsy again we're go for treatment.
  However, the Dr called YESTERDAY and said whatever im doing keep it up. My number went DOWN from 12.9 to 10.3. This certainly has to be positive, I assume. They are going to schedule the biopsy after all.
  
  So, is really possible that ive slowed my cancer growth with this new diet? And if so, will I EVER be able to eat ANYTHING else just once a year, even?
  
  Why did my psa go way up and then back down?
  
  Im lost","[{'e1': 'We', 'e2': 'treatment', 'relation': 'will go for', 'condition': 'if PSA is still the same'}]"
630,P0631,1r5k9dc,"Now that I am in the MSK system, I can participate in their PCa clinical trials. Most of them involve radiation or drugs for PCa. None pertain to surgery.
  
  Some of the trials are controlled, meaning there is a study arm that gets the trial intervention and the control who does not. I don't see any placebo controlled trials.
  
  None of the trials will lead to very bad outcomes in the control arm...such as death.
  
  In all my life, my ailments have been so mundane as to draw no clinical trial activity. But this has changed with PCa. Has anyone here participated in a clinical trial? Did you take one for the team?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'PCa clinical trials', 'relation': 'can participate in their', 'condition': 'now that I am in the MSK system'}]"
631,P0632,1r6ikn4,"I found this book invaluable when I was diagnosed two years ago. I have lent it to two friends and bought copies for two others. I am decluttering and slimming the herd. 
  
  
  
  If there is anyone that needs a copy of this book and cannot afford it or cannot otherwise get it, please DM me and I will send you mine. I'd prefer to keep mailing to the USA due to cost, but if there is someone truly in need abroad, I can make that work.
  
  
  
  Maybe I am jinxing myself (18 months since RALP and undetectable) but I bet I am not.
  
  The people on this subreddit are the best around.","[{'e1': 'This book', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'was invaluable to', 'condition': 'when I was diagnosed two years ago'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'mine', 'relation': 'will send you', 'condition': 'if there is anyone that needs a copy of this book'}]"
632,P0633,1r7894n,"\- Had slightly elevated PSA, Dr suggested to see a Urologist...
  
  \- Urologist visit and DRE suggested a very small bump/lesion, Urologist recommended an MRI...
  
  \- MRI confirmed very small lesion, Urologist recommended Biopsy....
  
  \- Biopsy done with 2 positive samples out of 15, Gleason score of 6. Urologist advises caught very early and based on what they know now, not aggressive. Recommended I come in to discuss treatment options and as to options, he said ""removal"" or ""Radiation."" He said if I was older he would suggest monitoring, but due to my age (63) and health (otherwise very good) that treatment was likely the best option.
  
  Going in Monday. Suggested questions? Options? Shared stories from those with similar circumstances very much appreciated. I know in the grand scheme of things, my case is not (yet) serious but I am just starting to digest all this. Did you tell your employer? 
  
  
  Thanks!","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'the cancer', 'relation': 'would suggest monitoring', 'condition': 'if I was older'}]"
633,P0634,1r7h5e8,"My dad and his brother recently began a podcast covering their prostate cancer journeys, as well as being a comedic relief for others going through their journeys. They released their first episode and I would love if it would even make one person feel seen. Please share wherever you would like and comment if you liked it🥹❤️‍🩹","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'would love', 'condition': 'if it will make even one person feel seen'}]"
634,P0635,1r846pe,"It's been several months since I've had the RALP surgery. I'm as recovered as I can be and using a vacuum erection device as well as a constriction ring to help get an erection. 
  
  Lately I have tried to masturbate and it is such a weird feeling when I feel like I'm going to shoot a load and then nothing comes out. It almost kind of feels like when I used to edge myself before the surgery happened. I would masturbate till I got to a point and then stop and then keep on doing that until I finally was able to cum.
  
  Does anyone ever get used to this feeling of orgasms without the mess?? It just feels so strange to me at this point.","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'a weird feeling', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'when I feel like I am going to shoot a load'}]"
635,P0636,1r8poao,"When I was younger, I was a pretty bad (OK very bad, LOL) alcoholic. I went to AA for 20 years and it helped me incredibly to handle life without alcohol. Gosh, it has been 36 years since I had a drink. 
  
  It was great to be able to go to a place where other people understood what you were going through.
  
  This board is fantastic, but wouldn't it be great to have an actual place you could go once (or better yet twice) a week to talk with other cancer patients/survivors?
  
  I am sure I am not the first person to comeuppance with this idea, but when I searched I could not find anything except for the occasional hospital that had a meeting for its patients.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'pretty bad alcoholic', 'relation': 'was ', 'condition': 'when I was younger'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'anything', 'relation': 'could not find', 'condition': 'when I searched '}]"
636,P0637,1r9192f,"Just a heads up. You can just tell your GP you want a PSA test and tell them you’re aware it might not be covered. It’s worth it to have a baseline. I got mine on a whim 4 years ago (I’m 39 now) before my father started his PCa journey this year. 
  
  I’m going to get it checked again but at least I know where I started. I was at .4 when I was 35 so I will see soon what it is at 39. Hopefully still under 1.0.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': '.4 PSA level', 'relation': 'was at', 'condition': 'when I was 35'}]"
637,P0638,1r9cpw0,"I had a prostate MRI that showed a 1.2cm lesion that scored PI-RADS 4. My doctor explained that this doesn’t mean cancer, but it’s suspicious enough that it needs further evaluation.
  
  The next step is a fusion biopsy, where they combine the MRI images with ultrasound to target the area more precisely. It’ll be done under twilight anesthesia, outpatient, and I’ll go home the same day.
  
  They said it’s not an emergency, but it shouldn’t be put off too long. Results take about 1–2 weeks.
  
  Trying to stay calm and take it one step at a time. If anyone has experience with PI-RADS 4 or fusion biopsies, I’d appreciate hearing how it went for you.
  
  Additional info:
  
  Last year, 2/2025, I was diagnosed with bladder cancer and in May I had my first TURBT. They never took any PSA levels so they did my labs in November and again on n January.
  
  In that time it went from a 5.2 to a 7.7. The doctor did a DRE which he said felt normal but still ordered the MRI due to the levels.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'how it went for you', 'relation': 'would appreciate hearing', 'condition': 'if anyone has experience with PI-RADS 4'}]"
638,P0639,1r9dzrn,"58 y/o male. Historical PSA always around 1.1. Annual physical in January PSA jumped to 3.2. Father had prostate cancer at 64.
  
  24 hours prior to my physical I took a spin class (was not aware of relationship to cycling). 48 hours prior had sex.
  
  First opportunity to see urologist was today (5 weeks from physical).
  
  Plan suggested:
  
  1. retest PSA and add % free test (tomorrow)
  2. if back to normal then monitor
  3. If above prior but below 3.2 then MRI (probably a 2-3 week wait).
  4. If above 3.2 then they have a 12 core template biopsy they can do in a week. (Concern here is whether they would hit “gold”).
  
  My other concern is time (waiting for MRI) and velocity (1.1->3.2 in 12 months). I.e., is it best to get the biopsy done sooner rather than later.
  
  Do folks think this is the right plan? Or suggest different?
  
  Thx!","[{'e1': 'They ', 'e2': 'a 12 core template biopsy they can do', 'relation': 'have ', 'condition': 'if PSA is above 3.2 '}]"
639,P0640,1ra7ash,"Error in the title clarified below...
  
  44 yrs old male. So to cut a long story short I had my PSA done 7 weeks ago it came back as 4.
  
  (note on the day and the night before my PSA test I had ejaculated and I had the flu the week previous the Dr said if she had know this she would not have had me tested as it can throw of the results I also did a lot of driving in my past jobs upto 50k per year which she said can contribute. )
  
  16 months ago it was 0.8 on the day I got my results of PSA 4. I had blood in my semen has now stopped it only happened once (3 weeks ago)
  
  A week later i visited the GP to discuss my results where I was given a DRE exam where the Dr said I had a mildly inflamed prostate. She did a urine test which was negative and also did a lab urine test this was also negative.
  
  She put me on a very high dose of cipro for 2 weeks in case it was prostitutes and sent me home in the middle of the 2 week course I started to get a burning in my urethra penis while urinating also had some buring in the tip and tender balls a long with pressure in my perineum especially when sitting and driving went back to the Dr she put me on Nsaids also high dose.
  
  The cipro made no diffence either did the Nsaids. So I'm week in now after just finishing the cipro and the Nsaids as I due to get my PSA test again next week. The pressure and the tenderness is definitely getting worse and more frequent. So this has me very worried.
  
  I guess what I'm asking guys how many of you has these symptoms and what age where you when you did?","[{'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'me ', 'relation': 'would not have tested', 'condition': 'if she had known I had the flu and ejaculated the week previous'}]"
640,P0641,1ratma6,"Do any of you guys with a diagnosis still smoke cigars? I’m on AS, Gleason 3+3=6, one core of 12 at 30%, no intraductal , no cribiform 4.
  
  Before this, I enjoyed an occasional cigar, maybe one or two a week when the weather was nice, but I haven’t since being diagnosed. Data is sparse about whether smoking the occasional cigar leads to more aggressive PCA, so I’m just wondering what other cigar smokers here have heard and/or do.
  
  I have a virtual appointment with my urologist in a week and this is a question I’m going to ask.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'an occassional cigar', 'relation': 'enjoyed ', 'condition': 'when the weather is nice'}]"
641,P0642,1razulg,"Hi. 50 yo, PSA 19, PI-RADS 5, (EPE >99.99%) locally advanced, lobulated, 2.3 cm lesion on anterior base of right prostate that abuts (but has not invaded) bladder and probable involvement of right seminal vesicle. No Gleason Score yet.
  
  I'm scheduled for a biopsy 3/3, oncologist 3/18. 
  
  I've had a few weeks to wrap my head around it, so I'm in a pretty fair place.
  
  I'm just introducing myself, really. I think I will have questions about treatments once I have a game plan. I will also pop-in here for support when I need some.
  
  Thanks for being here.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'questions about treatment', 'relation': 'will have ', 'condition': 'once I have a game plan'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'support', 'relation': 'will also pop-in here for', 'condition': 'when I need some'}]"
642,P0643,1rbdprs,"I’m obese and still having issues with my internal healing. It can feel my intestines moving around under certain circumstances. I had a complication during RALP and they had to make a 6” incision on my side. There is still fluid near that incision and I’m wondering if that’s the root of my healing issue. 
  
  I still have pain across my lower abdomen if I try and do too much. Excessive standing or light lifting will set it off. 
  
  Is any of this normal?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'pain across my lower abdomen', 'relation': 'still have ', 'condition': 'if I try and do too much excessive standing or light lifting'}]"
643,P0644,1rcvuwl,"I spent a lot of time with the RO at MSK today. He confirmed that MSK's read on my situation is Gleason 7 unfavorable with an aggressive Decipher score of 0.89. This means a higher dose of radiation and six months of Orgovyx. I may get a reduced ADT sentence if my AteraAI scores comes in good. We agreed on a battleplan: HDR brachytherapy + 5 fraction SBRT. Each of the 5 fractions is reduced in radiation due to the radiation already received from the HDR. Because of the lower radiation dose, MSK uses CT guided SBRT rather than MRI guided. The lower radiation does not need the precision. The only patients that MSK still does IMRT on (many weeks of treatment) are those that have pre-existing urinary, or bowel issues. My warranty (LOL) is that I can expect a 5 year ADR rate of 15%. This is higher than average due to the aggressive nature of my cancer. If no ADR by 5 years, it will flatline to 10 years. In other words, if it doesn't happen in 5 years, the chances of it happening do not increase with time. 
  
  The RO said if RALP did a good job, there would be no use of radiation for PCa.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'reduced ADT sentence', 'relation': 'may get ', 'condition': 'if my AteraAI scores comes in good'}, {'e1': 'It', 'e2': '10 years', 'relation': 'will flatline to', 'condition': 'if no ADR by 5 years'}, {'e1': 'The chances of it happening', 'e2': 'time', 'relation': 'do not increase with', 'condition': ""if it doesn't happen in 5 years""}, {'e1': 'There would be', 'e2': 'radiation', 'relation': 'no use of', 'condition': 'If RALP did a good job'}]"
644,P0645,1rdtej2,"Hi Everyone,
  
  Gleason 4+3, 8/17 cores positive (mostly stage 3), PMSA PET scan shows locally confined. Have seen 2 specialists - one is recommending Pelvic Lymph Node Dissection (prob more conservative and more risk management), whereas other specialist suggests no PLND. My nomogram does put my at the 10-15% level and current guidelines recommend anything over 5% to have PLND or ePLND. The specialist recommending the PLND says that in 1 in 3 cases he sees spread into nodes after pathology is done. Both guys are highly experienced and high volume surgeons.
  
  So I'm stuck on this point - really not keen on the PLND if it can be avoided. 
  
  Be keen to hear thoughts of others who are similar in my profile and gone though this decision making process.","[{'e1': 'I am', 'e2': 'the PNLD', 'relation': 'really not keen on', 'condition': 'if it can be avoided'}]"
645,P0646,1recyu8,"I can't get a message returned from my Urologist. I reached out three months ago when I realized it is standard practice to test every three months post ralp and I wasnt scheduled until my six month mark. I took consolation in the fact that my margins were clean and the surgeon said she was confident we had got it all. Also my six week bloodwork contained no detectable signs of cancer < 0.01. I must just be low risk making me lower priority right? 
  
  As my six month appointment neared I called the lab to confirm they had the orders from my Dr for the PSA test. they didn't . I called my Urologists office and asked them to send the orders. They said they would. they didn't. this went on every day for a week. Finally I got a return call from the office promising to fax the orders that day... but oh by the way The Dr. is going to be out of the office on the day of your scheduled six month appointment. The earliest we can get you rescheduled is sometime in June! 
  
  I just got the PSA test results back. my PSA went from <0.01 to 0.10 in six months. Frustrated doesn't really even describe how I'm feeling... and I still haven't spoken to my Urologist!","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': '3 months ago', 'relation': 'reached out', 'condition': 'when I realized it is standard practice to test every three months post ralp'}]"
646,P0647,1rek715,"Original post:
  
  Do any of you guys with a diagnosis still smoke cigars? I’m on AS, Gleason 3+3=6, one core of 12 at 30%, no intraductal , no cribiform 4.
  
  Before this, I enjoyed an occasional cigar, maybe one or two a week when the weather was nice, but I haven’t since being diagnosed. Data is sparse about whether smoking the occasional cigar leads to more aggressive PCA, so I’m just wondering what other cigar smokers here have heard and/or do.
  
  I have a virtual appointment with my urologist in a week and this is a question I’m going to ask.
  
  Update:
  
  Had the meeting with the urologist, he said it’s ok to smoke cigars as long as it wasn’t every week.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'an occassional cigar', 'relation': 'enjoyed', 'condition': 'when the weather is nice'}]"
647,P0648,1rengnj,"I finished 39 IMRT on 7 October 2025 with no ADT. I still find myself needing a nap mid afternoon. It's usually an hour or so but if I go jogging, 3-3.5 miles every other day, it's a 2 hour nap. 
  
  I eat a lot of chicken, fish and pork, and rarely eat red meat. Sweets are minimal and don't drink alcohol. 
  
  I take 20mg Lisinopril for BP, 20 statin for cholesterol, Omega 3, CoQ10 and a multivitamin. 
  
  Is this normal? How long before I feel ""normal"" again? 
  
  Thinking about asking for a testosterone test when I see my urologist next week.
  
  Thanks for any insight.","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'a 2hour nap', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'if I go jogging,3-3.5 miles every other day'}]"
648,P0649,1req86g,"Hi everyone. I previously described my journey to date at [https://www.reddit.com/r/ProstateCancer/comments/1lxb1nx/lesion\_volume\_from\_mri\_results/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProstateCancer/comments/1lxb1nx/lesion_volume_from_mri_results/) and [https://www.reddit.com/r/ProstateCancer/comments/1mxj0rr/biopsy\_results\_in\_i\_joined\_the\_club\_but\_it\_seems/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProstateCancer/comments/1mxj0rr/biopsy_results_in_i_joined_the_club_but_it_seems/). Briefly, though, I am 66 years old, and my PSA increased from 0.8 in late 2024 to 1.9 in July 2025. That prompted a MRI, which found a lesion that was considered PIRADs-5. That, in turn, prompted a biopsy in August 2025 at John Hopkins (I live near Baltimore). Only one core came back with cancer, but only at 20%, with a Gleason score of 3+3. However, Hopkins did not incorporate the MRI into their biopsy but just took 12 random samples. I don't know why Hopkins did not use the MRI, but I was seriously annoyed by that.
  
  I just got the results from my second biopsy on February 13th, performed also at John Hopkins and by the same doctor who did the first biopsy. This time, the doctor used the MRI from last year. Here are the results:
  
  **1.Prostate, Right Paramedian Apex (Biopsy):** 
  
  Prostate tissue with small focus of atypical glands, suspicious for low-grade adenocarcinoma. Â 
  
  **2.Prostate, Right Paramedian Base (Biopsy):** 
  
  Benign fibromuscular tissue. 
  
  Â **3.Prostate, Rigth Posterior Apex (Biopsy):** 
  
  Benign prostatic tissue.
  
  Â **4.Prostate, Right Posterior Base (Biopsy):** 
  
  Prostatic adenocarcinoma, Gleason score 3+3=6 (Grade Group 1) involving 5% of one (1) core. 
  
  Â **5.Prostate, Right Lateral (Biopsy):** 
  
  Benign prostatic tissue.
  
  Â **6.Prostate, Right Anterior (Biopsy):** 
  
  Benign prostatic tissue.
  
  Â **7.Prostate, Left Paramedian Apex (Biopsy):** 
  
  Prostatic adenocarcinoma, Gleason score 3+3=6 (Grade Group 1) involving 60% of one (1) core. 
  
  Â **8.Prostate, Left Paramedian Base (Biopsy):** 
  
  Prostatic adenocarcinoma, Gleason score 3+3=6 (Grade Group 1) involving 10% of one (1) core. Perineural invasion is identified.
  
  Â **9.Prostate, Left Posterior Apex (Biopsy):** 
  
  Focus of high-grade PIN with adjacent small atypical glands. 
  
  Â **10.Prostate, Left Posterior Base (Biopsy):** 
  
  Prostate tissue with small focus of atypical glands, suspicious for low-grade adenocarcinoma. 
  
  Â **11.Prostate, Left Lateral (Biopsy):** 
  
  Benign prostatic tissue.
  
  Â **12.Prostate, Left Anterior (Biopsy):** 
  
  Benign prostatic tissue.
  
  Â **13.Prostate, TARGET Left Apex Anterior (Biopsy):** 
  
  Benign prostatic tissue.
  
  
  
  In summary, cancer was found in three cores, one of which was at 60% cancer. Perineural invasion was also identified. The cancer, though, is all Gleason score 6.
  
  Here are my questions for the group, recognizing that you are not doctors but are fellow travelers in this unwanted journey:
  
  1. Should I take comfort that the cancer is a Gleason 6?
  
  2. Should I be concerned that one core has 60% cancer, even if it is a Gleason 6?
  
  3. Should I be concerned about the perineural invasion?
  
  4. I'm meeting with John Hopkins next week and I suspect they will recommend active surveillance because the cancer is Gleason 6. Is active surveillance an option? Is it a sensible option? Or should I be considering surgery or radiation?
  
  5. I've made appointments with an oncologist and a radiation specialist. Am I overreacting?
  
  I also would be interested in peoples' experience with John Hopkins if they have any to report. I know they have a sterling reputation, but I'm a little irritated that they failed to utilize the MRI with the first biopsy. 
  
  Thanks in advance and I wish everyone the best with this unwanted and undesired journey that we're all on.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': ""people's experience with John Hopkins"", 'relation': 'also would be interested in', 'condition': 'if they have any to report'}]"
649,P0650,1resz6g,"If you review my past posts, you will see that I was pretty stressed about my incontinence post RALP. I'm glad to share that things took a big turn for the better, pretty suddenly, at the end of week nine. I'm now able to make it to the bathroom to urinate almost all the time. I still have a fair amount of leakage when I am up walking around and at night, but significant improvement over where I was even a week ago. I'm doing Kegels every day, but I think a big part of it is the nerves that were disturbed during the surgery are getting back to normal.","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'fair amount of leakage', 'relation': 'still have', 'condition': 'when I am up walking around and at night'}]"
650,P0651,1rexv9o,"Today I had a mapping session to prepare for upcoming radiation treatments. My prostate cancer metastasized to the socket of my left hip.
  
  My radiation oncologist wants to give me 5 targeted extra dose treatments to the area of my metastasis.
  
  I had serious pain issues today during the mapping session. The radiation tech told me that I will need to stay flat on my back for at least 20 minutes for each treatment. Since the cancer moved to my left hip socket, I have been having pain issues, all involving my left leg. My left knee, my left thigh inner groin muscle feels very tight, so tight I worry about it snapping. The muscle in the front of my left thigh twitches/spasms and gives pretty strong pain. My lower back today was really very painful. But my lumbar spine had been a been a mess for years.
  
  I have to fine a way to short circuit the pain. I want to get dose radiation. If I can’t lay still for 20 minutes I’ll have to have 10 treatments for 10 minutes each, but a lower dosage of radiation. I think the stronger dosages gives me a better shot of killing off the cancer cells. Does anyone have any suggestions for solving this pain issues?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': '10 treatments for 10 minutes each', 'relation': 'will have to get', 'condition': ""if I can't stay still""}]"
651,P0652,1rfbxsn,"Hi team. 57 yo, PSA 14, Gleason 9 (4+5), PSMA PET shows spread to pelvic nodes but no distant spread. My urologist is sending me to an oncologist and he said I am not a candidate for surgery (I expected that with the spread outside the prostate) and that I need triplet therapy with chemo rather than radiation. He said once tumor shrinks I may be a candidate for cryo treatment. My question is what pushes you to chemo rather than radiation?
  
  Thanks!","[{'e1': 'i ', 'e2': 'a candidate for cryo treatment', 'relation': 'may be ', 'condition': 'once tumor shrinks'}]"
652,P0653,1rfgbet,"One month after RALP, a cough, a sneeze, a laugh or even just bending over will cause me to squirt pee, even if I’ve just gone. The pull on Depends work great at catching the leakage but I’m looking forward to being past this stage. What has been your experience? (My doctor said to practice Kegel exercises but I don’t know what that is. When I asked he told me to look it up. I guess I should. )","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'look it up', 'relation': 'told me to', 'condition': 'when I asked him'}]"
653,P0654,1rfjenu,"I’m 41. Started off last April with a slightly elevated PSA score. Checked again in June and it had nearly doubled. Jump to November and I finally get the biopsy can confirmed it was cancer. Stage 2 so fortunately the early detection kept it to the prostate and didn’t expand out. 
  
  Too much for focal ablation so it was either radiation or the RALP. Doc said if I was 20+ years older than he would’ve suggested the radiation but since I am 41 he felt the surgery would be better suited to getting rid of The cancer and that would be my best bet. 
  
  Well here we are. Surgery went well I guess. Was in the hospital overnight and got released yesterday. Catheter really is an unpleasant thing and having some leakage during bladder spasms but am filling up the bag almost halfway every 4-5 hours so I guess there’s that? Core feels absolutely wrecked when I try to get in and out of the couch to move around and I am so much looking forward to next Tuesday when I get that first follow up and Cather removal done. 
  
  Thanks to all of y’all as I’ve been reading your posts the last several months when I first found out and it’s helped me wrap my head around this process.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'the radiation', 'relation': 'would have suggested', 'condition': 'if I was 20+ years older'}, {'e1': 'Core', 'e2': 'absolutely wrecked', 'relation': 'feels', 'condition': 'when I try to get in and out od the couch to move around'}]"
654,P0655,1rfy24y,"50 YO. I’ve been dealing with the uncertainty of having PC since last April where my yearly physical showed a drastic spike in my PSA levels (2.x-4.x.). I opted for a 4K blood test last summer showing a 94% of not having PC. I felt(mostly) better about it then fall bloodwork showed my PSA levels spiking again.I had a MRI showing a PI-Rads 4. Next was a biopsy NYE day and I was diagnosed with PC on the 13th: Gleason 3+3=6 in two cores: 11mm and 3mm
  
  I was in shock hearing the news. When active surveillance was mentioned I thought (like most) no way in hell. After some research and time I know it’s best in my situation.
  
  I’m told I need a confirmation biopsy within the year. I’m not crazy about it as I’m having ED issues from the last one… I’d rather do PSA levels every 6 months, yearly MRI and biopsy if absolutely needed.
  
  Is this how most places do active surveillance?","[{'e1': 'i ', 'e2': 'PSA levels every 6 months,yearly MRI and biposy', 'relation': 'would rather do', 'condition': 'if aboslutely needed'}]"
655,P0656,1rgihn8,"First, I am not asking this question because I want to short/abuse the system, don't respect what medical professionals do, or want to screw anyone over. I just realized that I only have about $8k per year to spend on medical visits/procedures if I live another 10-15 years (I am 63). The $8k is on top of what I spend on medication. I own (its paid off) a nice house but selling it is out of the question (it will eventually be my wife's/sons'). I am on a fixed income with only a modest 401k.
  
  I had a 28.7 4K score and am getting a biopsy next week. I need both of my shoulders replaced. I have problems in my feet and ankles and a skin condition. I also have other medical issues. I have Blue Cross/BS insurance. I have a $3.5k co pay (which I. have nearly met already) and then am responsible for 20% of the rest.
  
  Lets say I need $100k in treatments a year. My insurance pays for $80k, and I chip in another 4-5 k. So the doctors/hospitals are getting $85k. Is that fair/right? Please keep in mind If I pay more I will eventually end up penniless (and very old). I am not worried about my credit score (which is over 760) since I won't be buying anything (car is paid off, my son's school is 90% paid for). 
  
  Am I a parasite on the system, or is what I propose fair?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': '$8k per year to spend on medical visits', 'relation': 'will only have ', 'condition': 'if I live another 10-15 years'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'penniless', 'relation': 'will eventually end up', 'condition': 'if I pay more '}]"
656,P0657,1rh58gv,2 years ago yesterday I had my RALP and my last PSA was still undetectable so I’m calling that a win. I don’t get an erection unless I use trimix but can’t look back only forward.,"[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'an erection', 'relation': 'only get ', 'condition': 'when I use trimix'}]"
657,P0658,1rh8c7v,"65years old, RALP 11-2023, Gleason 9, 6mm Positive Margins Bladder Neck invasion.
  
  
  Todays PSA Test Result: Still Undetectable!!! <.04.00
  
  I was way less anxious regarding this Test than the last result. The only thing I can contribute this to is my Dr. Explaining to me after the last test when I was out of my mind with Anxiousness regarding my test. She told me that after a year of undetectable I am more than likely out of the area of Biomedical Reoccurance which doesn't mean that it might return later but the odds are with me for a longer time of no cancer worry. So here's to Celebrating Undetectable at 2.4 years from RALP with Gleason 9 and positive margins! Now we will be going to annual PSA tests!
  
  
  Good Luck Everyone on their Journey!!!","[{'e1': 'My Dr', 'e2': 'me after the last test', 'relation': 'explained to', 'condition': 'when I was out of my mind with anxiousness regarding my test'}]"
658,P0659,1rhjdli,"Six weeks post RALP, PSA at 0.00 from pre-surgical 6.07, 2 cores clear, 8 cores 3+3 and 2 cores 3+4.
  
  Looking at at previous PSA's, my first elevated score was 10 years ago at 5.1. It bounced around in the 5's and 6's for a decade as I chose denial as a treatment. Finally a biopsy proved the worst.
  
  Odds were in my favor if I chose surveillance. So why did I choose surgery? 
  
  Simple - I chose to remove the anxiety. Anxiety doesn't have a gleason score, but it is a very real killer. Probably more dangerous for me than my cancer. Odd though that the doctors don't consider anxiety in the equation for treatment. For me, a decade of worry was enough.
  
  I've had minor side effects and I still can't ""raise the flag"", if you know what I mean, but honestly .... I feel reborn.","[{'e1': 'Odds ', 'e2': 'my favor', 'relation': 'were in', 'condition': 'if I chose surveillance'}]"
659,P0660,1rhjzeu,"My husband was diagnosed back over the summer. He scheduled his RALP for the 3rd of March about 2 months ago, and since then he is increasingly difficult to be around. It often feels like he's saying things in such a way to pick fights with me. I did okay for the first month, I let a lot of things roll off my back because I know he's stressed and afraid, but these outbursts were less frequent and not as harsh as they are now.
  
  For the past 2-3 weeks, he snaps at almost everything I say. The closer we get to his surgery, the worse it gets. The last 3 days have been pretty rough. Simple conversations can turn into him getting angry and lashing out at me, and I'm finding myself reacting to him so it turns into an argument. It's not like we're screaming at each other, but it's definitely more heated than bickering.
  
  \*\*How do I offer support to him when I feel like I can't even talk to him?\*\* I'm beginning to think he hates me, even though I know it's not really about me. I don't know what to do for him and his anger is making it very difficult to empathize with him. \*\*Has anyone else felt how he's feeling and can you help me figure out what to do for him?\*\*
  
  Edit: Even if I didn’t reply, I have read every comment and you all are amazing people for how supportive you have been.
  
  I talked with my husband last night and today. We both agreed that we felt very pressured towards surgery without any other consultations, and it became a choice that didn’t feel like an actual choice. The VA failed us as far as options for a radiation consult, and basically told us that because we couldn’t get ahold of anyone through community care that the only option was to schedule surgery. The uncertainty of this decision was overwhelming for him, (and if I’m being honest, it was for me too) and so we’ve decided that the best thing we can do RIGHT NOW is hold off on treatment until we’ve explored every available avenue.
  
  We’re both scared, but I understand that his fear is not like anything I’ve ever been through. I love this man so much and I am so thankful to have a community to make me question something that felt so off. It doesn’t mean we won’t opt for surgery in the future, but I realized after talking to him that we both felt extremely conflicted about moving forward. Thank you all for your insight and support.","[{'e1': 'The decision', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'was overwhelming for', 'condition': 'if I am being honest'}]"
660,P0661,1rhyxul,"New (smallish) Jan 2026 study finds radiation plus ADT performs better than RALP in reducing metastasis when cribriform is present:
  
  https://www.renalandurologynews.com/news/cribriform-prostate-cancer-higher-risk-metastasis-benefit-treamtent 
  
  “Radiation therapy with neoadjuvant ADT appeared to significantly reduce metastasis risk by 65% (HR, 0.35 \[95% CI, 0.16-0.78\]; P=.04) in patients with cribriform-positive disease.”","[{'e1': 'Radiation plus ADT', 'e2': 'RALP in reducing metastasis', 'relation': 'performs better than', 'condition': 'when cribriform is present'}]"
661,P0662,1ri1jjx,"Hello all,
  
  Do any of you who are on ADT pay any attention to your labs. Like your CBC or CMP. My husband has a tiny amount of blood on the very end of his penis when he urinates. Just a drop. Hardly anything. He doesn't know what to think. He finished radiation months ago and now hes just on Lupron injections. 
  
  
  He doesnt know how to decipher his Labs to see if they would point to the problem and I sure as heck can't either. 
  
  Any help would be appreciated.","[{'e1': 'Tiny amount of blood', 'e2': 'his penis', 'relation': 'on the very end of ', 'condition': 'when he urinates'}]"
662,P0663,1rj3siu,"I am scheduled for RALP on Thursday. This is elective, I have low risk, Gleason 6 prostate cancer. Initially, I was going for active monitoring, and had been scheduled for a second biopsy a couple of weeks ago. I also have BPH, and although I don't have to get up that much overnight, the past few months, my daytime quality of life has taken a bigger hit. Urgency has become more of an issue, and my urinary issues are impacting my ability to do my hobbies like hiking where I may not be able to find a bathroom right away at risk of incontinence, or, say, taking a 45 minute car ride without having to stop. Medication seems to have reached its limits. I made an appointment before the scheduled biopsy, and the doctor discussed how if I opted for the prostatectomy it could kill two birds with one stone.
  
  Now that I decided and the surgery is at hand, I just can't shake the fact that 1) I don't want to do this, and 2) I don't want to \*not\* do this.
  
  There are the two big reasons I don't want to do this. That there is the risk of poor urinary outcomes (after initial recovery) in a minority of cases, and sexual side effects. I think the first I have filed as a calculated risk. It is already bad enough without doing the surgery, and I just deal with things and cross that bridge if I come to it. The latter has me bothered more than I'd like to admit. I feel like I'd be being robbed of something, even knowing the best case, worst case, and expected outcomes.
  
  Then there's the reasons I don't want to go on like I am. I'm tired of being tethered to a bathroom. It's genuinely cutting into activities I like to do, like group hikes. And I know that whether I were to get the surgery or continue active monitoring, that my chances of dying from this are really low, but my aspiration, if humanly possible by means of healthy diet and lifestyle and some good luck, is to be a tough old bird still alive and in good physical and mental condition well into my mid or even late 90s, and I know that just going through with this surgery now would reduce the chances of this taking me out from very low to extremely low.
  
  I have thought about this. My default action will be to stick with the plan. But the thought that if I'm making a big mistake I can't undo it haunts me, especially since I don't think I can know for sure in advance which would be the bigger mistake. So one last chance to think about this.
  
  I feel like I'd be crazy to have this surgery and I feel like I'd be crazy \*not\* to have it. Both at the same time.
  
  Do you guys have any perspective either facing, experiencing, of having gone through the same thing as me? Does one of these paths tend to be more likely to lead to regret than the other?","[{'e1': 'Prostatectomy', 'e2': 'two birds with one stone', 'relation': 'could kill', 'condition': 'if I opted for the prostatectomy'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'things', 'relation': 'just deal with', 'condition': 'if I come to it'}]"
663,P0664,1rjed1v,"My husband got his psa back and it’s gone from 1.6 to 2.4. He got his psma back and there is almost no focal point activity except the small spot where the lesions are . But there was a small light up in his t11 vertebrae. There is nothing in the pelvis, nothing in the lymph nodes. The doctor has said it is likely benign but he now needs an mri with and without contrast and where I was hoping we could stay on active surveillance until December, it seems with that jump in psa, we need to make faster decisions. If it’s not benign then I guess there won’t be surgery. Making the decisions to wait or move, have radiation or surgery, has been tough and now this could be a wrench.","[{'e1': 'There', 'e2': 'surgery', 'relation': ""won't be"", 'condition': 'if its not benign'}]"
664,P0665,1rjfjjv,"Dear Fellow Members, in this fight against prostate cancer
  
  I am currently preparing for a RALP procedure scheduled for April 16th. I have completed a full-body bone scan body from head to toe, which was normal for my age, and a CT scan of my pelvis and prostate.
  
  My physician has recently ordered a PET/CT Skull-Thigh scan using Piflufolastat F-18 (1 Mci). I am seeking clarification on whether this is a standard protocol prior to surgery or if these specific scans typically indicate a concern regarding the potential spread of the condition.
  
  If anyone has experience with this sequence of imaging, I would greatly appreciate your insights.
  
  Best regards,
  
  Issy Ramos","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'your insights', 'relation': 'would greatly appreciate', 'condition': 'if anyone has experience with this sequence of imaging'}]"
665,P0666,1rjuekg,"One week follow up to the RALP was this morning and was able to get the catheter removed as planned.
  
  Definitely felt weird. Not painful, more like a 2 (out of 10) burn? for 2 seconds and then nothing. Literally in and out of the room in 5 minutes and that was because we talked for 4.5 minutes of it about expectations. 
  
  Was told that if I didn’t urinate by 2:30ish (this was at 0900) then I would need to immediately return to the office and see the doctor. 
  
  Neat… didn’t even think about that. Fortunately I had been able to Pee twice since then. First one felt a little weird and a little blood came out as expected and at the end it almost felt like I was peeing but…bubbly? Like when you have a hole in your straw when trying to drink? Initial thoughts were not good on that regard. I hoped it was just the initial “pipe clearing” and getting the air out. 
  
  Thankfully the second go was all stream and a little dribble at the end. I can deal with that. 
  
  Sharing because as trivial as it is reading y’all’s updates has been a godsend for not losing my kind in this process so far. 
  
  Next follow up is the end of next week.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'the office', 'relation': 'would need to return to', 'condition': ""if I didn't urinate by 2:30 ish""}]"
666,P0667,1rjzhi1,"I'm 71 and was sent for an MRI and biopsy when my PSA spiked to 6.9. I had been on TRT for about 10 years-- PSA had been trending up, but my urologist attributed it to the TRT and enlarged prostate. Of course, TRT had to immediately cease. My PSA then went to 3.31 (normal range is below 4 according to my result). 
  
  My first choice was focal (HIFU) but I was deemed unsuitable because my cancer was too diffuse, and my prostate too large (87 cc). I chose RALP because I was advised that radiation would probably make my existing enlarged prostate problems worse, and it was a better choice for getting back on TRT sooner.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'an MRI', 'relation': 'was sent for', 'condition': 'when my PSA spiked to 6.9'}]"
667,P0668,1rk3hym,"I have a biopsy in 2 days. I just received (another) bill for $1500 ""payable the day of surgery"". However I have spent $2800 towards my $3500 deductible this year so far (got a CPAP plus all the prostate testing/imaging). 
  
  So really, I am only responsible for $700 and possibly 20% until I meet my OOP. 
  
  I am thinking of only paying the $700 when I show up for he surgery, and then any left over balance when I receive my explanation of benefits. I will ask them to bill me.
  
  I also need shoulder replacement and have a meeting with my orthopedic surgeon in 2.5 weeks.
  
  There is no chance that the hospital will cancel my surgery at the last minute, is there? They have already collected a nice chunk of change from me not counting what they are billing to my insurance.","[{'e1': 'I am', 'e2': 'only paying 700', 'relation': 'thinking of ', 'condition': 'when I show up for the surgery'}, {'e1': 'I will', 'e2': 'me', 'relation': 'ask them to bill', 'condition': 'when I receive my explanation of benefits'}]"
668,P0669,1rkboy3,"He just announced he has cancer - incurable but treatable. 
  
  Sound familiar?
  
  If ""The Chin"" has joined our group, we'll treat him well. Like we do everyone here.","[{'e1': 'Wew will', 'e2': 'him well', 'relation': 'treat ', 'condition': 'if the chin has joined our group'}]"
669,P0670,1rkc132,"As expected, luckily in my case it's mild/low risk. Likely just put on watch. And based on the biopsy... It's what I expected. 
  
  But when I told STBXW... her response (text) caused me to completely break down and lose it for the first time in all of this. 
  
  ""You really need to stay positive""
  
  That's like the equivalent of a man telling a woman she should smile more... But right after a kick in the nuts. 🤬🤬🤬
  
  I'm not being negative at all. It just sucks. So in the moment that I most needed a bit of empathy... I got that bullshit. 
  
  I'm reticent to tell just about anyone about it... Largely because I don't want the bullshit sympathy... And because it's the kind of thing that can change the nature of relationships... But holy crap was I not expecting that.","[{'e1': 'Her response', 'e2': 'completely break down', 'relation': 'caused me to ', 'condition': 'when I told STBXW'}]"
670,P0671,1rkcs0o,"\*\*Age 52 – PSA doubled in 3 months → RALP → complications → emergency open surgery (long post)\*\*
  
  I’ve been lurking here for a while. Figured I’d share my experience in case it helps someone else.
  
  \*\*Background:\*\*
  
  Age 52. PSA doubled in 3 months (Oct 2025). I was already tracking regularly, so we caught it early. MRI → biopsy → confirmed cancer. Of course all of this unfolded over Thanksgiving and Christmas, which made for a stressful holiday season.
  
  Didn’t discuss options really, (radiation, meds, active surveillance) I had my mind made up about RALP, mostly age but if I encounter things that can be removed to prevent further issues, get it out, that’s my default. At 52, I felt surgery made the most sense for me long-term, and I have time to recover even if erectile function takes a while.
  
  \*\*RALP – Feb 10\*\*
  
  Surgery itself went as planned.
  
  That night, I passed out while using the commode. Required a blood transfusion and stayed additional nights for observation (CT + labs). They found a hematoma between my rectum and bladder. Large, but initially stable. 
  
  They tell you: “Your body is designed to absorb it.”
  
  Sure. Design is one thing. *Performance is another.*
  
  Discharged home Saturday.
  
  \*\*Day 2 at home:\*\*
  
  Started feeling off. Extreme fatigue. Significant abdominal pressure/bloating pain (not typical incision pain — more like trapped gas/CO₂ pressure). Spoke with my surgeon; he told me to go to the ER to check things out.
  
  Turns out my body was not absorbing the hematoma — it was rejecting it with prejudice.
  
  Readmitted Tuesday.
  
  Hematoma was causing severe bladder spasms and pressure on surrounding structures. Then things escalated:
  
  \* Persistent vomiting
  
  \* 2 additional blood transfusions
  
  \* Vomiting blood
  
  \* Severe bladder spasms (thankfully catheter still in)
  
  \* SVT (Supraventricular Tachycardia) — HR 170+ bpm
  
  That part was scary. I’ve never had heart rhythm issues before.
  
  \*\*Emergency surgery (Friday):\*\*
  
  They performed a vertical abdominal incision, evacuated the hematoma, confirmed no active bleeding, and closed me up with staples.
  
  9-day hospital stay total.
  
  Liquid diet + TPN through a central line direct to heart to feed nutrients. 
  
  Interestingly, once the hematoma was removed, I felt dramatically better compared to post-RALP round one.
  
  \*\*Current status (5 days home):\*\*
  
  \* Down 15 lbs (see persistent vomiting above)
  
  \* Easily fatigued
  
  \* Off narcotics, just Tylenol/Advil
  
  \* More pain from the vertical incision than the robotic surgery sites
  
  \* Can’t cough comfortably (sneezing is an adventure)
  
  \* Foley still in due to bladder perforation from pressure of the hematoma 
  
  \* CT scan this week to see if bladder healed enough for removal of Foley
  
  So effectively I’m recovering from both RALP and open abdominal surgery at the same time.
  
  \*\*The good news:\*\*
  
  Pathology report shows cancer fully contained and removed. That’s the win. PSA test will confirm, but margins were clear.
  
  My surgeon was phenomenal — called twice daily, frequent visits, kept my wife and me informed constantly.
  
  This has been a much rougher course than I ever anticipated. I went in thinking “robotic surgery, few rough weeks, recovery.” Instead I got complications, transfusions, arrhythmia, and a second major surgery.
  
  Sharing this not to scare anyone — this is NOT typical — but just to say:
  
  Sometimes recovery doesn’t follow the brochure.
  
  But complications can be managed.
  
  And there \*is\* light on the other side.
  
  Happy to answer questions if it helps. 
  
  I had assistance from ChatGPT so it flows and reads better.","[{'e1': 'My default', 'e2': 'get it out', 'relation': 'is', 'condition': 'if i encounter things that can be remoed to prevent further issues'}, {'e1': 'I felt', 'e2': 'post RALP-round one', 'relation': 'dramatically better compared to', 'condition': 'once the hematoma was removed'}]"
671,P0672,1rkuyai,"We're in Canada and looking for a place for a written remote 2nd opinion from the U.S. that doesn't require that one's doctor automatically receives a copy of the report. I'd posted here for advice about U.S.-based remote 2nd opinion options and received very helpful suggestions (thank you again!) and on that basis we'd narrowed it down to either Stanford or UCSF, but turns out both require the patient's doctor to receive a copy of the report. Though we may potentially do so anyway, our preference is for it not to be done automatically, as this is more just a check on the accuracy of the recommendations the doctor has provided, and if there's no need to tell the doctor that we're doing this check, then we'd just as soon not (of course most doctors wouldn't be offended, but all the same it's a bit awkward). Obviously if there's a big difference of opinion, we would want to discuss it with them but would prefer for this not to be done automatically by the providers of the 2nd opinion. 
  
  The choice of places is already somewhat limited by the fact that not all U.S. centers provide written 2nd opinions to Canada (1st choice, Sloan-Kettering now only does it in-person, and MD Anderson and Mayo also won't provide remote to Canada). 
  
  Checking into a few possibilities, but if anyone knows firsthand of any that definitely gave them the OPTION of whether to send the finished report to a physician and this was not a requirement that the doctor be involved, please share, as this would potentially save some time in the search. Thanks a lot!!","[{'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'them', 'relation': 'would want to discuss with', 'condition': 'if there is a big difference of opinion'}]"
672,P0673,1rkyeff,"I have to thank this sub for getting me through. 
  
  Short story: I'm now three and a half years out of treatment and doing well. 
  
  Longer version: 4+3 diagnosis. I was given the option of ADT+radiation (cyberknife) or RALP - both being explained as being roughly equal chances of success, and good at that. Perhaps a secondary reasoning was the cyberknife can spare the urethra, albeit with leaving some tissue around it. 
  
  I chose ADT+radiation, partly because I could exercise through it - a lot of core. Even during my ADT, I did hiking in Peru and Chile on a vacation. 
  
  Now three and a half years out, my PSA remains low for my treatment modality. The physicians told me that if I stay low for that amount of time, the chances of a recurrence are low (knock wood). 
  
  I have more or less that same functionality as before treatment and the treatment experience wasn't so bad. I know this puts me in a 'lucky' category, but I'll take it.","[{'e1': 'The chances ', 'e2': 'a recurrence', 'relation': 'are low for', 'condition': 'if I stay low for that amount of time'}]"
673,P0674,1rlo3ur,"Five months after finishing radiation treatment( Stage Il , prostrate only), I’ve started having a lot more nighttime urination and I’m wondering if others here have dealt with the same thing.
  
  I’m now getting up about 3–5 times a night. Each time it’s not a full bladder, just a small amount (a few mls), but the urge wakes me up anyway. Before this, I was usually only getting up once a night.
  
  I’ve been on tamsulosin for about 6 years and currently take two pills. It worked pretty well up until recently. To try to help, I’ve stopped drinking water after about 7pm and cut off coffee by 9am. I’m not taking any other diuretics.
  
  The biggest issue is the sleep disruption. Once I get up, it can take a while to fall back asleep, and sometimes I start feeling the urge again not long after.
  
  Has anyone else experienced this several months after radiation? Did anything help reduce the nighttime urgency or frequency?","[{'e1': 'It', 'e2': 'fall back asleep', 'relation': 'can take a while to', 'condition': 'once I get up'}]"
674,P0675,1rlrb20,"My dad, 71/m, has had his psa slowly rising for a couple years. He was sent to a urologist maybe 2 years ago who blew it off, ""why are you here?"" Middle of last year, it was around 6.8. When it was retested in January, 9.0. MRI last month showed PI-RADS 4-5. He got his biopsy results back yesteday. 8 cores clear or with precancerous cells. 3 cores 3+3, 2 cores 3+4, and one core 4+5 (found in 40% of the sample). My heart really sank seeing that last one. His urologist wanted to schedule his follow up for next week, but it conflicted with a visit with his oncologist (he had two lung cancers, both nad for about 8 years), so his follow up with the urologist got bumped to the end of the month.
  
  I guess my two big questions here would be, are the chances of treatment with gleason 9 better having only been seen in 40% of one core? And with gleason 9, is it okay to have a follow up almost a month out to figure out what the plan here is? Things seem to move so fast in terms of treating prostate cancer that we kind of expected that would be the time frame for treatment to start.
  
  He seems to be playing it pretty cool and I don't want to stress him out anymore if things are moving on an approriate timeline. I'd appreciate any input.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'stress him anymore', 'relation': ""don't want to "", 'condition': 'if things are moving on an appropriate timeline'}]"
675,P0676,1rlz082,Had my post biopsy meeting with doctor today. I had 1-3+3 and 1-3+4 he wants to get 2nd opinion from John Hopkins and get Decipher test. He recommends AS but is open to HIFU if I would rather do that. Guess I'll wait for the new test and results to decide. So glad I ditched my first urologist that didn’t want to do MRI and just do a standard Trans rectal biopsy. My new urologist showed me how that would have missed my cancer because it was in anterior region. So strange a urologist wouldnt do MRI first. I appreciate this forum for educating me before starting this journey!,"[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'HFU', 'relation': 'is open to', 'condition': 'if I would rather do that'}]"
676,P0677,1rm1aqj,"I posted in here in December (a month after turning 68) that my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 prostate cancer. Since then we know his Gleason score is 9 (4+5) and it’s an adenocarcinoma. Without treatment his oncologist gives him 2 years tops. It has yet to metastasize anywhere according to CTs and bone scans. That being said, he has been allowed into the GUNS trial. He’s also already on ADT and his PSA has gone from 35 down to 0.02. He seemed all for this trial until he learned that his prostatectomy would be performed via robotic instead of open. I know men really cherish sex but it feels very shallow that through all of this my dad and his “partner’s” biggest concern is the ED that will come from this surgery. Almost like “well if we won’t be able to have sex then maybe we should just do nothing and enjoy the 2 years of sex” His “partner” has now voiced concerns of QOL after the GUNS trial (the ED and incontinence) and I’m just wondering if anyone in here has completed the GUNS trial and willing to give me some insight into your QOL? He’s talking about \*just\* doing radiation but since incontinence is a risk with that as well, it doesn’t feel like incontinence is his main worry.
  
  As his daughter I’m sure I’m being selfish in wanting him to do whatever it takes to be around longer, but I also kinda feel like his priorities are messing with his logical thinking…","[{'e1': 'we', 'e2': 'the 2 years of sex', 'relation': 'should enjoy ', 'condition': ""if we won't be able to have sex""}]"
677,P0678,1rmc96q,"If you or someone you know is living with Prostate Cancer, your experience can help researchers better understand patient needs and improve future care.
  
  Â 
  
  We’re inviting individuals across the United States diagnosed with prostate cancer to participate in a confidential research discussion.
  
  Â 
  
  Why participate?
  
  ✔️ 60-minute telephone interview (if you qualify)
  
  ✔️ 100% confidential and conducted from home
  
  ✔️ Receive $90 USD as a thank-you for your time
  
  Â 
  
  Your perspective can help shape better support and treatment experiences for future patients.
  
  Â 
  
  🔗 Check if you qualify here:
  
  [https://hub.m-panels.com/welcome/7oduwuvz3fbiacx1/](https://hub.m-panels.com/welcome/7oduwuvz3fbiacx1/)
  
  Â 
  
  📢 Feel free to share with anyone who might be eligible.","[{'e1': 'Your experience ', 'e2': 'researchers better understand patient needs', 'relation': 'can help', 'condition': 'if you or someone you know is living with prostate cancer'}]"
678,P0679,1rmtogz,"Going into my 9th month after getting treatment, feeling ok, I have had 3 PSA tests since then, and the numbers have been going down. had no complications so far, sex life is doing fine, with less mess, of course, no ADT. However, there is one thing that I think about, which is when I take a piss, there is no pain, no blood, but a sensation I get, especially when I have to go bad, the only way I can describe it is if you ever put your tongue in between the terminals of a 9-volt battery as a kid it's that type of feeling, not stinging but just a slightly intense feeling. Might sound a little strange, but I had to put it out there. You never know. All you guys stay strong. Thanks.","[{'e1': 'There', 'e2': ' pain,blood', 'relation': 'is no', 'condition': 'when I take a piss'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'a sensation', 'relation': 'get ', 'condition': 'when I have to go bad'}]"
679,P0680,1rmu0om,"Anyone been through RALP using a Lasersafe histlolog scan during surgery. I'm booked in for April, also using a single port robot. With the histlolog scan they can be more aggressive on nerve sparing and detect positive surgical margins, so decided on this even though it means travelling away from home across the country for this.
  
  58, Gleason 4+3, no spread, Pirad 5 on right side only, low PSA however 2.3, tumor too extensive for any focal therapies, went to 2 rad oncologists when reviewing treatment options and both said at my age and condition RALP would be best option. No lymph node dissection - got a lot of advise around this as it was sticking point but it seems most top cancer centers treating PCa don't opt for this nowadays.
  
  So left nerves will be spared and depending on histlolog surgeon will decide how much to save on the right side. They will do the scan and if there's a positive margin can got back and do a re-excision.","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'two rad oncologists', 'relation': 'went to', 'condition': 'when reviewing treatment options'}]"
680,P0681,1rmuae3,"# 
  
  I just received my results today from my """"NM PET CT scan (Skull Base to Midthigh) """". I don't know how to read them. If anyone has any idea what this means, I'd appreciate it. Otherwise, I'll have to wait for my appointment with the urologist. I'm really scared, to be honest. I have schedule surgery on April 16th. RALP
  
  \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  Reason for Exam (NM PET CT skull Base to Midthigh) prostate ca
  
  Report 
  
  Positron emission tomography computed tomography skull to thigh. Prostate Pylarify Scan
  
  Clinicalhistoryandindicationsforexamination:61-year-oldmanwithprostatecancer initially diagnosed via biopsy December 2025.Patient has elevated PSA level of 9.3 as of August 2025. No prior therapy. No prior PET/CT. The examination is performed for initial staging. ICD 10 code C61malignant neoplasm of prostate gland. 
  
  Technique: Following the intravenous administration of Piflufolastat F-1810.2 mCi (377MBq), using the Siemens biograph 40 combined PET CT scanner, PET and CT images of the body were acquired. Using the Vital Images Vitrea Enterprise Advanced Mirada XD independent 3D post processing advanced computer workstation, combined PET CT fusion images were formulated and interpreted by the physician. 
  
  
  
  Findings:
  
  Physiologic distribution of tracer is seen salivary and lacrimal glands, blood pool, liver, spleen, pancreas, ganglia, bone marrow, bowel, kidneys and urinary tract. 
  
  Evaluation of the prostate gland: A1.8x0.9 cm avid focus of radiotracer up take within the right prostatic base is seen (SUVmax12.3). 
  
  Evaluation of lymph nodes: There is no focal radiotracer uptake in the lymph nodes to suggest nodal metastatic disease. 
  
  Evaluation of skeleton: There is no focal radiotracer uptake in the osseus structures to suggest osseous metastatic disease.
  
  Impression: 1. Avid focus of radiotracer uptake within the right prostatic base consistent with the patient's primary malignancy.
  
  Report 
  
  2. No Nodal or osseous metastatic disease","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'it', 'relation': 'would appreciate', 'condition': 'if anyone has any idea what this means'}]"
681,P0682,1rn4u9a,"We're a research team at Edge Hill University conducting a PhD study on online psychological support for people living with and beyond cancer. We're looking to recruit participants to investigate whether a programme called Finding My Way-UK can support people during and after cancer.
  
  Finding My Way-UK is a free, self-guided online programme offering evidence-based information and exercises focused on coping, adjustment after treatment, and psychological wellbeing.
  
  **Who can take part?**
  
  You are eligible if you:
  
  * Were diagnosed with any cancer in the last 12 months
  * Are being treated (or were treated) with intent to cure
  * Have access to the internet and an email address
  * Are 16 or over, live in the UK or Isle of Man, and are comfortable reading and writing in English
  
  **What's involved?**
  
  Everything is done online at your own pace:
  
  1. Complete a short questionnaire (15–25 minutes)
  2. Be randomly assigned to either the Finding My Way-UK programme (6 modules over 4 weeks) or a control group (digital resource pack)
  3. Complete two follow-up questionnaires at 4 weeks and 3 months
  
  Participants assigned to the digital resource pack will be given access to the Finding My Way-UK programme upon completion of the study.
  
  **Interested or have questions?**
  
  Contact lead researcher Kian Hughes at [hugheski@edgehill.ac.uk](mailto:hugheski@edgehill.ac.uk), or drop a question in the comments below.
  
  This study has received ethical approval from Edge Hill University. Participation is entirely voluntary.","[{'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'eligible', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'if you were diagnosed with any cancer in the last 12 months'}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'eligible', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'if you are been treated or were treated with intent to cure'}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'eligible', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'if you have access to the internet and an email address'}, {'e1': 'You ', 'e2': 'eligible', 'relation': 'are', 'condition': 'if you are 16 or over.live in the UK or Isle of man and are comfortable reading and writing in English'}]"
682,P0683,1rngxhr,"Hi everyone — I’m a 44-year-old recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and currently navigating treatment decisions.
  
  Over the past few months I’ve spent hundreds of hours learning about things like PSA, MRI, Gleason grading, Decipher testing, nerve sparing, surgery vs. radiation, recovery, and recurrence risk. One thing I’ve realized is that a lot of the information out there is confusing, scattered, or hard to understand when you’re first diagnosed.
  
  I’m considering creating educational resources and videos specifically for men going through this journey (especially younger men), but before building anything I want to listen to the community first and understand what would actually help.
  
  If you’re willing, I’d really appreciate your input.
  
  A few questions:
  
  1. What part of prostate cancer was most confusing or stressful when you were first diagnosed?
  
  2. What kind of educational content would have helped you the most?
  
  3. What format do you prefer for learning?
  
  • Short videos (3–5 minutes)
  
  • Deep-dive videos
  
  • Visual guides / diagrams
  
  • Step-by-step patient guides
  
  • Doctor interviews
  
  • Patient stories / journeys
  
  4. What topics do you feel are poorly explained today?
  
  5. If you’ve already been through treatment, what do you wish someone had told you earlier?
  
  I’m not selling anything — just trying to learn from the community so we can build better resources for the next guy who hears the words “you have prostate cancer.”
  
  If you’d rather not comment publicly, feel free to send me a direct message. I completely understand that some of these topics are personal and people may want privacy.
  
  Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share their experience. This diagnosis has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever navigated, and the men in communities like this have already helped me more than they probably realize.","[{'e1': 'A lot of information out there', 'e2': 'hard to understand', 'relation': ' is', 'condition': 'when you are first diagnosed'}, {'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'your input', 'relation': ' would appreciate', 'condition': 'if you are willing'}]"
683,P0684,1rnhciw,"Has anyone used a Gibbon Slackboard for pelvic floor exercises?
  
  Had RALP surgery last April. Pelvic floor therapy helps a great deal with regaining urinary control. I’ve been looking for a reason to get a Gibbon Slackboard for balance training. I’m 62 and balancing may be becoming an issue. But then I saw an ad from Gibbon that their Slackboard could improve pelvic floor strength. 
  
  Or am I just looking for a reason to buy a new toy?
  
  Two pelvic floor exercises I would like to try on the Slackboard: 
  
  Balance on one foot with the other stretched out behind. Then tip forward as if trying to pick something up off the floor. Then switch legs. I call it the tea kettle. 
  
  Second is the yoga tree pose. I typically do this while brushing my teeth. 
  
  Do Kegel squeezes during the peak stress of the exercise. 
  
  Both exercises have their purpose for different leak problems. The first is for picking up things. The second is for drying my feet when getting out of the shower. The Slackboard could only make these exercises more effective. 
  
  Disclaimer: I am not an affiliate. I don’t have a discount code to give out. I don’t yet own this product.","[{'e1': 'The second exercise', 'e2': 'my feet', 'relation': 'is for drying', 'condition': 'when getting out of the shower'}]"
684,P0685,1rnyr7u,"If I drink, I can’t take Cialis. I’m working on that EVD machine and it seems to help a hell of a lot. I have to have an orgasm after every time I use it. And I don’t know what’s going on, but my orgasms are much better than they ever were before my operation. Anyone else noticed that?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'Cialis', 'relation': 'cannot take', 'condition': 'if I drink'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'an orgasm', 'relation': 'have ', 'condition': 'after every time I use it'}]"
685,P0686,1roehye,"My parents just told us today that my dad (71) has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. My first reaction is to go into information gathering overload to try and fix things, but I've been left very confused by the letter my Dad's GP received from the Consultant Urologist and just really looking for some reassurance or guidance. I just want to make absolutely sure he is going to be getting the best treatment. Through NHS Scotland at the moment but I will pay anything to go private if it would help him.
  
  The letter said: Gleason 3+3 carcinoma of the prostate. This is T3b on his MRI so coming out and invading the seminal vesicles so he would not be suitable for surgery but his other staging tests have shown no evidence of disease anywhere else so he would be suitable for hormones and radiotherapy.
  
  From what google tells me, I didn't think you could be a Gleason 3+3 with a T3b? I don't understand why surgery couldn't be an option here? As of friday, he has been started on hormone therapy but not timeframe giving for starting radiotherapy.
  
  Any advice or guidance would be hugely appreciated as I'm trying very hard not to spiral.","[{'e1': 'I will', 'e2': 'anything to go private', 'relation': 'pay', 'condition': 'if it would help him'}]"
686,P0687,1rolxw7,"First, I apologize to all my brethren here on this thread as my problem is tiny compared to most. I tried to make a post about this question in the health insurance forum but for some reason was not able to do so.
  
  I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea a few weeks before I got troubling PSA test results (28.7). I paid $1400 to my sleep doc for a sleep test and a CPAP. CPAPS are available on the private market. The one I am using can be purchased for $439. Sleep tests are $130. My doctor (after I told him of my financial limitations) convinced me that it was worth the extra money to hire him and promised to apply the money I paid him to my deducible.
  
  I was having enlarged prostate problems prior to that time and facing a TURP, so I figured that paying the extra to the doctor was a wise choice since I would be meeting my $3.4k deductible anyways. At first, the sleep doc was great at returning my emails, but once I bought the CPAP from him, he stopped returning my emails. I was emailing him because I was getting a very high leak rate on my CPAP machine and thus not benefitting from it. CPAPS don't work if leak rates are extremely high. So the money I spent was for nothing. I sent 3 emails plus 2 messages to his chat portal. I provided detailed information on my leak rates.
  
  In my emails to my sleep doc I discussed the possibility that I had prostate cancer in addition to my sleep problems. I would think that a doctor would care if his patient might have cancer. He should have scheduled me for anther office visit. But as mentioned, he never emailed me back. 
  
  Between the CPAP, MRI's and other treatments for my prostate issues I met my deductible of $3.4k. Nonetheless, when I went in for my cancer biopsy they demanded $1500. I told the receptionist that I already met my copay and thus only owed 20% of that, but she was adamant. She grudgingly agreed to allow the procedure if I paid half and set me up for a payment plan for the rest.
  
  I called my sleep doc, and was told by his staff that my payment is being split up over 10 months, even though I already paid it in full. I pleaded with her to make an exception since I might have cancer but she refused. I sent the doc another email after this conversation which he has not responded to. I also sent messages to their chat portal which got no response. 
  
  To make matter worse, I also need shoulder replacement so I will have to meet my yearly out of pocket which is $6k. I am retired on a fixed income and can barely pay this amount. The problem is I will end up paying more than $6k.
  
  So my question is, what should I do about this uncaring doctor? He may be legally enabled to spread out my payments, but he also has failed to fix my sleeping problems IE do his job. Specifically, he should be trying to find a solution to my massive leak rates which are destroying my CPAP therapy.
  
  I should have checked his reviews before I saw him, and they are bad. He promised me that he would make me CPAP work, and also that the money I paid him would go towards my deductible. Neither has happened.","[{'e1': 'He', 'e2': 'my emails', 'relation': 'stopped returning', 'condition': 'once I bought the CPAP from him'}, {'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a doctor would care', 'relation': 'would think', 'condition': 'if their patient might have cancer'}, {'e1': 'They', 'e2': '$1,500', 'relation': 'demanded', 'condition': 'when I went for biopsy'}, {'e1': 'She', 'e2': 'the procedure', 'relation': 'grudgingly allowed', 'condition': 'if I paid half '}]"
687,P0688,1rp7u7c,"Tomorrow will be 2 weeks post RALP. I’m moving well and have been very fortunate in the bathroom visits. Wore a pee pad the first 2 days post catheter removal but was pretty much dry. By day 3 I stopped wearing them during the day and haven’t worn one at night since day 5. I still have some (minor) discomfort in what I only can assume is the bladder as well as the under side of the balls and oddly enough the shaft sometimes. Maybe the urethra to bladder connection? I don’t know. 
  
  Beyond that, obviously no erections but I can kinda feel *something* happening down there when I smooch up on the wife. At my urologists suggestion I purchased the restorex traction device and it should arrive today and my follow up with the doc is Thursday. 
  
  2 questions I have for the group is-
  
  1- any one have any positive (or negative) feedback on the traction device WRT erections or general usage?
  
  2- just prior to surgery I had started utilizing the one meal a day IF protocol, not by choice more due to workload got crazy and didn’t have time to eat breakfast or lunch and after that first week I just noticed I started to feel better in a number of ways. What’s the overall thinking about returning to that OMAD plan while recovering or should I wait until week 6 like everything else?","[{'e1': 'I', 'e2': 'down there', 'relation': 'feel something', 'condition': 'when I smooch up on the wife'}]"
688,P0689,1rpei8j,"I had RALP 21 years ago, clean margins, and ever since my PSA has been 0.08. Periodic MRIs negative. Now at age 76 it is slooowly creeping up again, first 0.13 then .14, .14, then today .19. (six month intervals) They tell me a PET scan can not be done until it is over .2 as otherwise the results are unreliable. I *did* get a bone scan last year but it was negative. So at the rate it is going up I should qualify for the PET in another 6 months. 
  
  If the PET finds it, I think that makes it officially ""recurrence"" and they can do radiation. Luckily my town has all the facilities for this.
  
  My question is about the other treatments that follow the radiation. Are the unpleasant side effects of ADT due to the drug itself or the drop in Testosterone? And does it affect my Chronic Kidney Disease?","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'officially recurrence', 'relation': 'think that makes', 'condition': 'if the PET finds it'}]"
689,P0690,1rpjuuu,"Hi, So me: 63 YO (62 when I had RP last Oct 2025). Other details are not really relevant (nor are these really) but...
  
  I had PSA like 10, MRI showing bad cells, 2 biopsies (due to location of stuff) and a PET scan to determine what we do. Surgery, all went well, no lymph node problems, clean margins etc... But I wanted to know every detail I could, and not ""just"" what my surgeon said, even tho he is awesome...
  
  So I went to my patient portals, and got the results/readouts frm every test I had. My surgical reports, postop recovery, pathology, every narrative and result I could get my hands on. A stack of PDFs.
  
  I went to ChatGPT. I basically gave it this: 
  
  I am a 62 year old male with prostate cancer that I recently had removed. I have uploaded PDFs of all of my diagnostic tests, surgical pre and post op, pathology and other reports. I am not a medical professional, but I can understand reasonable medical terminology, so you don't have to give it to me as if I were a 10 year old. Give it to me straight. What do all of these measurements mean, what is my outlook/prognosis going forward, likelihood of recurrence, potential need for future treatments of any kind and what would those be and anything else I should know.
  
  Holy cow did it do a fantastic job. Told me things I never would have thought to ask, and offered to take me into conversations with it asking me some more details about my health overall, and do I want this, or that as far as other information. 
  
  
  And if you are in the middle of your journey, this can help you feel better, understand what your team is telling you (just ask it to explain!) and give you other things you might want to ask your team.
  
  Even if you are not recent in your treatments, get your reports and see what it can tell you. It was awesome, and made me feel better about what, and how much my care team said, and it was all spot on with what they told me.
  
  Hope this helps and can give you some of the peace of mind it's given me.
  
  Be well!","[{'e1': 'Asking ChatGPT', 'e2': 'you feel better', 'relation': 'can help', 'condition': 'if you are in the middle of your journey'}]"
690,P0691,1rpl02a,"Today was the day.
  
  I had a RALP in December 2023. The initial incontinence was significant. I went through months of pelvic floor therapy. By August 2024 I was referred to a surgeon who immediately recommended an AUS. That didn’t sit right with me. There was no real workup beyond pad count.
  
  Six months later I went back to the surgeon who performed my RALP. At that point I was down to 4–5 pads per day. He referred me to another surgeon who did a much more complete evaluation and recommended a male urethral sling. I appreciated the workup, but they were very early in their practice and I wasn’t ready to move forward.
  
  At my two-year follow-up, still undetectable, I had a moment of clarity. If the cancer ever comes back, I want to be intentional about who is guiding my care and a surgeon would not be part of that care team. That pushed me to reconnect with the urologist who originally diagnosed me. He doesn’t do RALPs and not an oncologist. His focus is male incontinence. It’s his lane.
  
  By then I was down to 1–3 pads per day.
  
  We talked through every option. Pros, cons, what comes next if this doesn’t get me where I want to be. No pressure. Just a thoughtful plan. Same approach they took with me upon my Prostate Cancer diagnosis.
  
  Today I had the male urethral sling.
  
  I’m hopeful and realistic. If this gets me to a liner or close to dry, that’s a win.
  
  More than anything, I want to say thank you to this group. Reading your stories, seeing your honesty about the hard parts, and watching how you advocate for yourselves helped me slow down and make the right decision for me.
  
  This road is not linear. Improvement can continue longer than you think. And it’s okay to ask questions and get second opinions. It's your life, your body, your health.
  
  Grateful to be undetectable. Grateful to have options. Grateful for this community.
  
  Good luck & good health!","[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'who is guiding my care ', 'relation': 'want to be intentional about', 'condition': 'if the cancer ever comes back'}]"
691,P0692,1rpxdf8,"Totally curious how you recovery is at the 6-8 month mark post RALP? (For context I’m 60) I was having a good trajectory as expected, by 6 weeks back to light weights and increasing speed and distance when walking. Started slow runs again around 3 months - except for the wet pads - was doing fine. The Ed is a work in progress but that pump works great. Was on the elliptical machine 4-5 weeks ago, which I don’t normally do - the wife loves it-not my thing normally. But I jumped on and hammered it… up to max incline and resistance and back down in 1 min increments on way up and 30 second drops. Felt great. Did it again two days later. 4 days later - tendinitis right ankle! Never had it before. Very painful. It also affected my right knee a bit. Called my Pelvic floor PT to pick his brain-he’s like too much too soon on that particular machine even though I had been back into exercising it is a completely different movement. Well, that tendinitis lingered, then two weeks ago the left ankle starts feeling peculiar. Mind you this feels like normal compensatory pain from all the limping on the other leg. (Went to ortho by the way) At this point started a course of prednisone worked fabulous until taper day 4. By the end of the day the left ankle starts hurting. 5 days later can’t even put weight on it barely. Back to ortho - turns out to be effin’ gout. Oh my, beating the shit out of me. The pain is unimaginable. To the point that my wife at times had to help me hobble to the bathroom! It’s no joke. I only had a few small flare ups but those were 15 or more years ago.
  
  Anyway, got meds from the doc, on the mend …. Again 🙄
  
  I was really hoping for a smoother transition dammit! lol. It’s just frustrating and I’m just being a freaking whiner. But I crave some good ol’ average feeling normalcy lol.
  
  So, if your recovery has been stellar or perfect that’s awesome - but you don’t need to announce it here lol This question is to be answered by those battling their way back and fending off annoying roadblocks to normalcy and how you combat those hurdles.
  
  Thanks to all. What a community here. 💪","[{'e1': 'You', 'e2': 'it here', 'relation': ""don't need to announce"", 'condition': 'if your recovery has been stellar orperfect'}]"
692,P0693,1rqbr4j,"Hello: I had Hi-Fu surgery in a Massachusetts hospital for prostate cancer. The procedure was easy and recovery was similar, with my only issue getting a UTI while wearing the Foley Catheter. 
  
  My psa was reduced to normal range in the 2’s.
  
  One year almost to the surgery date, 
  
  I had my PSA checked and found out it’s rising again…4. Speaking with my surgeon he recommended a retreatment, but The insurance company has denied the claim citing the “procedure is experimental” ; previously they covered it. After 2 appeals and a final denial I’m left with either radiation or removal. The tumor is contained within the prostate and I’m not certain I want a total prosectomy.
  
  I got 3/4 months to decide….doing further research I’m thinking Cyber Knife…anyone have information or experience with this procedure and or radiation in general?","[{'e1': 'I am', 'e2': 'either radiation or removal', 'relation': 'left with', 'condition': 'after 2 appeals and a final denial'}]"
693,P0694,1rqsfa6,"I made a previous post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProstateCancer/s/GaEAYQSP0i)
  
  My dad got his biopsy back yesterday and his prostate is eat up with cancer. He has several 8s, 9s, and one 10 spot. It feels like a gong has gone off and it won't stop ringing. I was certain he was going to have prostate cancer. Seeing how aggressive it is, shook me to my core. His PSA went from 1 to 15 in a year, difficulty peeing but nothing much else. 
  
  The doctor said after the biopsy that it would likely be treatable and manageable. I'm holding onto those words as tight as possible. They're ordering a PET scan to check for spread. He's taken the news hard which is understandable. I'm grasping at straws and reading whatever I can find. From what I've gathered, there is still hope but I know he has a long road ahead of him.
  
  Any encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. I'm open to direct messages also.","[{'e1': 'The doctor', 'e2': 'it would be treatable', 'relation': 'said ', 'condition': 'after the biopsy'}]"
694,P0695,1rqt3kk,I was told to have a bowl movement each morning before treatment. I am fairly regular on a daily basis but don’t go on a schedule. I’m curious how strict is this requirement. What methods do people use to force a movement in the morning.,"[{'e1': 'I ', 'e2': 'a bowl movement', 'relation': 'was told to have', 'condition': 'before treatment each morning'}]"