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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix J K Rowling - CHAPTER ONE - Dudley Demented The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. Cars that were usually gleaming stood dusty in their drives and lawns that were once emerald green la...	Potter and the Order of the Phoenix J K Rowling - CHAPTER ONE - Dudley Demented The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. Cars that were usually gleaming stood dusty in their drives and lawns that were once emerald green lay parc...
's stopped trying to butt in. Where is he, anyway?' 'I don't know,' said Aunt Petunia, unconcerned. 'Not in the house.' Uncle Vernon grunted. 'Watching the news...' he said scathingly. 'I'd like to know what he's really up to. As if a normal boy cares what's on the news - 'Dudley hasn't got a clue what's go...	s stopped trying to butt in. Where is he, anyway?' 'I don't know,' said Aunt Petunia, unconcerned. 'Not in the house.' Uncle Vernon grunted. 'Watching the news...' he said scathingly. 'I'd like to know what he's really up to. As if a normal boy cares what's on the news - 'Dudley hasn't got a clue what's goi...
news reached Harry's ears and his stomach turned over. Perhaps tonight - after a month of waiting - would be the night. 'Record numbers of stranded holidaymakers fill airports as the Spanish baggage-handlers' strike reaches its second week - ' 'Give 'em a lifelong siesta, I would,' snarled Uncle Vernon over the...	reached Harry's ears and his stomach turned over. Perhaps tonight - after a month of waiting - would be the night. 'Record numbers of stranded holidaymakers fill airports as the Spanish baggage-handlers' strike reaches its second week - ' 'Give 'em a lifelong siesta, I would,' snarled Uncle Vernon over the end ...
preparing to crawl out from under the window. He had moved about two inches when several things happened in very quick succession. A loud, echoing crack broke the sleepy silence like a gunshot; a cat streaked out from under a parked car and flew out of sight; a shriek, a bellowed oath and the sound of breaking ...	ing to crawl out from under the window. He had moved about two inches when several things happened in very quick succession. A loud, echoing crack broke the sleepy silence like a gunshot; a cat streaked out from under a parked car and flew out of sight; a shriek, a bellowed oath and the sound of breaking china ...
turn!' He continued to grin in a horrible, manic way until all the curious neighbours had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry back towards him. Harry moved a few steps closer, taking care to stop just short of the point at which Uncle Vernon's outs...	!' He continued to grin in a horrible, manic way until all the curious neighbours had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry back towards him. Harry moved a few steps closer, taking care to stop just short of the point at which Uncle Vernon's outstret...
triumphant whisper. 'Get out of that one, boy! As if we didn't know you get all your news from those pestilential birds!' Harry hesitated for a moment. It cost him something to tell the truth this time, even though his aunt and uncle could not possibly know how bad he felt at admitting it. 'The owls... aren't b...	ant whisper. 'Get out of that one, boy! As if we didn't know you get all your news from those pestilential birds!' Harry hesitated for a moment. It cost him something to tell the truth this time, even though his aunt and uncle could not possibly know how bad he felt at admitting it. 'The owls... aren't bringing...
magical sound after all. Perhaps he was so desperate for the tiniest sign of contact from the world to which he belonged that he was simply overreacting to perfectly ordinary noises. Could he be sure it hadn't been the sound of something breaking inside a neighbour's house? Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in h...	ical sound after all. Perhaps he was so desperate for the tiniest sign of contact from the world to which he belonged that he was simply overreacting to perfectly ordinary noises. Could he be sure it hadn't been the sound of something breaking inside a neighbour's house? Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in his ...
that graveyard and watched Cedric being murdered, and been tied to that tombstone and nearly killed? Don't think about that, Harry told himself sternly for the hundredth time that summer. It was bad enough that he kept revisiting the graveyard in his nightmares, without dwelling on it in his waking moments too. ...	graveyard and watched Cedric being murdered, and been tied to that tombstone and nearly killed? Don't think about that, Harry told himself sternly for the hundredth time that summer. It was bad enough that he kept revisiting the graveyard in his nightmares, without dwelling on it in his waking moments too. He t...
news. In the meantime, he had nothing to look forward to but another restless, disturbed night, because even when he escaped the nightmares about Cedric he had unsettling dreams about long dark corridors, all finishing in dead ends and locked doors, which he supposed had something to do with the trapped feeling he had ...	. In the meantime, he had nothing to look forward to but another restless, disturbed night, because even when he escaped the nightmares about Cedric he had unsettling dreams about long dark corridors, all finishing in dead ends and locked doors, which he supposed had something to do with the trapped feeling he had when...
ley was as vast as ever, but a year's hard dieting and the discovery of a new talent had wrought quite a change in his physique. As Uncle Vernon delightedly told anyone who would listen, Dudley had recently become the Junior Heavyweight Inter-school Boxing Champion of the Southeast. 'The noble sport', as Uncle Vernon c...	was as vast as ever, but a year's hard dieting and the discovery of a new talent had wrought quite a change in his physique. As Uncle Vernon delightedly told anyone who would listen, Dudley had recently become the Junior Heavyweight Inter-school Boxing Champion of the Southeast. 'The noble sport', as Uncle Vernon calle...
you go, Sirius, Harry thought dully. Nothing rash. Kept my nose clean. Exactly the opposite of what you'd have done. He got to his feet and stretched. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon seemed to feel that whenever Dudley turned up was the right time to be home, and any time after that was much too late. Uncle Vernon ha...	go, Sirius, Harry thought dully. Nothing rash. Kept my nose clean. Exactly the opposite of what you'd have done. He got to his feet and stretched. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon seemed to feel that whenever Dudley turned up was the right time to be home, and any time after that was much too late. Uncle Vernon had th...
led Dudley, turning away. 'Cool name,' said Harry, grinning and falling into step beside is cousin. 'But you'll always be "Ickle Diddykins" to me.' 'I said, SHUT IT!' said Dudley, whose ham-like hands had curled into fists. 'Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?' 'Shut your face.' 'You...	Dudley, turning away. 'Cool name,' said Harry, grinning and falling into step beside is cousin. 'But you'll always be "Ickle Diddykins" to me.' 'I said, SHUT IT!' said Dudley, whose ham-like hands had curled into fists. 'Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?' 'Shut your face.' 'You don...
Harry pulled out his wand. He saw Dudley look sideways at it. 'You're not allowed,' Dudley said at once. 'I know you're not. You'd get expelled from that freak school you go to.' 'How d'you know they haven't changed the rules, Big D?' They haven't,' said Dudley, though he didn't sound completely convinced. ...	pulled out his wand. He saw Dudley look sideways at it. 'You're not allowed,' Dudley said at once. 'I know you're not. You'd get expelled from that freak school you go to.' 'How d'you know they haven't changed the rules, Big D?' They haven't,' said Dudley, though he didn't sound completely convinced. Ha...
ed whimpering voice. '"Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric!" Who's Cedric - your boyfriend?' 'I - you're lying,' said Harry automatically. But his mouth had gone dry. He knew Dudley wasn't lying - how else would he know about Cedric? '"Dad! Help me, Dad! He's going to kill me, Dad! Boo hoo!'' ' 'Shut up,...	whimpering voice. '"Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric!" Who's Cedric - your boyfriend?' 'I - you're lying,' said Harry automatically. But his mouth had gone dry. He knew Dudley wasn't lying - how else would he know about Cedric? '"Dad! Help me, Dad! He's going to kill me, Dad! Boo hoo!'' ' 'Shut up,' s...
he'd been resisting as hard as he could - then his reason caught up with his senses - he didn't have the power to turn off the stars. He turned his head this way and that, trying to see something, but the darkness pressed on his eyes like a weightless veil. Dudley's terrified voice broke in Harry's ear. 'W-what...	'd been resisting as hard as he could - then his reason caught up with his senses - he didn't have the power to turn off the stars. He turned his head this way and that, trying to see something, but the darkness pressed on his eyes like a weightless veil. Dudley's terrified voice broke in Harry's ear. 'W-what a...
udley!' Harry yelled, his eyes watering with pain as he scrambled to his hands and knees, feeling around frantically n the blackness. He heard Dudley blundering away, hitting the alley fence, stumbling. 'DUDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!' There was a horrible squealing yell and Dudley's footsteps t...	ley!' Harry yelled, his eyes watering with pain as he scrambled to his hands and knees, feeling around frantically n the blackness. He heard Dudley blundering away, hitting the alley fence, stumbling. 'DUDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!' There was a horrible squealing yell and Dudley's footsteps top...
ter... he could smell the Dementor's putrid, death-cold breath filling his own lungs, drowning him - think... something happy... But there was no happiness in him... the Dementor's icy fingers were closing on his throat - the high-patched laughter was growing louder and louder, and a voice spoke inside his head: 'B...	... he could smell the Dementor's putrid, death-cold breath filling his own lungs, drowning him - think... something happy... But there was no happiness in him... the Dementor's icy fingers were closing on his throat - the high-patched laughter was growing louder and louder, and a voice spoke inside his head: 'Bow ...
in neighbouring gardens and the mundane rumble of cars in Magnolia Crescent filled the air again. Harry stood quite still, all his senses vibrating, taking in the abrupt return to normality. After a moment, he became aware that his T-shirt was sticking to him; he was drenched in sweat. He could not believe what...	neighbouring gardens and the mundane rumble of cars in Magnolia Crescent filled the air again. Harry stood quite still, all his senses vibrating, taking in the abrupt return to normality. After a moment, he became aware that his T-shirt was sticking to him; he was drenched in sweat. He could not believe what ha...
supposed to help you fight off Dementors? He left you completely without cover when I'd warned him - ' This Mundungus has been following me? Hang on - it was him! He Disapparated from the front of my house!' 'Yes, yes, yes, but luckily I'd stationed Mr Tibbles under a car just in case, and Mr Tibbles came and w...	to help you fight off Dementors? He left you completely without cover when I'd warned him - ' This Mundungus has been following me? Hang on - it was him! He Disapparated from the front of my house!' 'Yes, yes, yes, but luckily I'd stationed Mr Tibbles under a car just in case, and Mr Tibbles came and warned me,...
riction of Underage Sorcery... this was exactly what Dumbledore was afraid of - What's that at the end of the street? Oh, it's just Mr Prentice... don't put your wand away, boy, don't I keep telling you I'm no use?' It was not easy to hold a wand steady and haul Dudley along at the same time. Harry gave his cousin ...	of Underage Sorcery... this was exactly what Dumbledore was afraid of - What's that at the end of the street? Oh, it's just Mr Prentice... don't put your wand away, boy, don't I keep telling you I'm no use?' It was not easy to hold a wand steady and haul Dudley along at the same time. Harry gave his cousin an impat...
was a loud crack and a strong smell of drink mingled with stale tobacco filled the air as a squat, unshaven man in a tattered overcoat materialised right in front of them. He had short, bandy legs, long straggly ginger hair and bloodshot, baggy eyes that gave him the doleful look of a basset hound. He was also clutchin...	a loud crack and a strong smell of drink mingled with stale tobacco filled the air as a squat, unshaven man in a tattered overcoat materialised right in front of them. He had short, bandy legs, long straggly ginger hair and bloodshot, baggy eyes that gave him the doleful look of a basset hound. He was also clutching a ...
his head, cowering. 'I'm going, I'm going!' And with another loud crack, he vanished. 'I hope Dumbledore murders him!' said Mrs Figg furiously. 'Now come on, Harry, what are you waiting for?' Harry decided not to waste his remaining breath on pointing out that he could barely walk under Dudley's bulk. He ga...	head, cowering. 'I'm going, I'm going!' And with another loud crack, he vanished. 'I hope Dumbledore murders him!' said Mrs Figg furiously. 'Now come on, Harry, what are you waiting for?' Harry decided not to waste his remaining breath on pointing out that he could barely walk under Dudley's bulk. He gave t...
. Harry stuck his wand back inside the waistband of his jeans, rang the bell and watched Aunt Petunia's outline grow larger and larger, oddly distorted by the rippling glass in the front door. 'Diddy! About time too, I was getting quite - quite - Diddy, what's the matter?' Harry looked sideways at Dudley and du...	Harry stuck his wand back inside the waistband of his jeans, rang the bell and watched Aunt Petunia's outline grow larger and larger, oddly distorted by the rippling glass in the front door. 'Diddy! About time too, I was getting quite - quite - Diddy, what's the matter?' Harry looked sideways at Dudley and duck...
air, face screwed up, braced for the explosion. 'BOY! COME HERE!' With a feeling of mingled dread and anger, Harry removed his foot slowly from the stair and turned to follow the Dursleys. The scrupulously clean kitchen had an oddly unreal glitter after the darkness outside. Aunt Petunia was ushering Dudley...	, face screwed up, braced for the explosion. 'BOY! COME HERE!' With a feeling of mingled dread and anger, Harry removed his foot slowly from the stair and turned to follow the Dursleys. The scrupulously clean kitchen had an oddly unreal glitter after the darkness outside. Aunt Petunia was ushering Dudley in...
us Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle. The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives wi...	Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle. The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives will ...
' 'If you don't get out of the way I'm going to jinx you,' said Harry, raising the wand. 'You can't pull that one on me!' snarled Uncle Vernon. 'I know 'You're not allowed to use it outside that madhouse you call a school!' The madhouse has chucked me out,' said Harry. 'So I can do whatever I like. You'...	'If you don't get out of the way I'm going to jinx you,' said Harry, raising the wand. 'You can't pull that one on me!' snarled Uncle Vernon. 'I know 'You're not allowed to use it outside that madhouse you call a school!' The madhouse has chucked me out,' said Harry. 'So I can do whatever I like. You'v...
, or stay put and wait for them to find him here. He was much more tempted by the former course, but he mew Mr Weasley had his best interests at heart... and after all, Dumbledore had sorted out much worse than this before. 'Right,' Harry said, 'I've changed my mind, I'm staying.' He flung himself down at the k...	or stay put and wait for them to find him here. He was much more tempted by the former course, but he mew Mr Weasley had his best interests at heart... and after all, Dumbledore had sorted out much worse than this before. 'Right,' Harry said, 'I've changed my mind, I'm staying.' He flung himself down at the kit...
,' Dudley mumbled. 'Yeah, I did, but I didn't use -'Harry began angrily, but - ' 'SHUT UP!' roared Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia in unison. 'Go on, son,' repeated Uncle Vernon, moustache blowing about furiously. 'All went dark,' Dudley said hoarsely, shuddering 'Everything dark. And then I h-heard... th...	Dudley mumbled. 'Yeah, I did, but I didn't use -'Harry began angrily, but - ' 'SHUT UP!' roared Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia in unison. 'Go on, son,' repeated Uncle Vernon, moustache blowing about furiously. 'All went dark,' Dudley said hoarsely, shuddering 'Everything dark. And then I h-heard... thing...
As if you'd never be happy again,' Harry supplied dully. 'Yes,' Dudley whispered, still trembling. 'So!' said Uncle Vernon, voice restored to full and considerable volume as he straightened up. 'You put some crackpot spell on my on so he'd hear voices and believe he was - was doomed to misery, or something, did...	if you'd never be happy again,' Harry supplied dully. 'Yes,' Dudley whispered, still trembling. 'So!' said Uncle Vernon, voice restored to full and considerable volume as he straightened up. 'You put some crackpot spell on my on so he'd hear voices and believe he was - was doomed to misery, or something, did yo...
for a third time and croaked, 'So - so - they - er - they - er - they actually exist, do they - er - Dementy-whatsits?' Aunt Petunia nodded. Uncle Vernon looked from Aunt Petunia to Dudley to Harry as if hoping somebody was going to shout 'April Fool!' When nobody did, he opened his mouth yet again, but was spa...	a third time and croaked, 'So - so - they - er - they - er - they actually exist, do they - er - Dementy-whatsits?' Aunt Petunia nodded. Uncle Vernon looked from Aunt Petunia to Dudley to Harry as if hoping somebody was going to shout 'April Fool!' When nobody did, he opened his mouth yet again, but was spared ...
'And they'll sentence you there?' 'I suppose so.' 'I won't give up hope, then,' said Uncle Vernon nastily. 'Well, if that's all,' said Harry, getting to his feet. 'NO, IT RUDDY WELL IS NOT ALL!' bellowed Uncle Vernon. 'SIT BACK DOWN!' 'What now?' said Harry impatiently. 'DUDLEY!' roared Uncl...	'And they'll sentence you there?' 'I suppose so.' 'I won't give up hope, then,' said Uncle Vernon nastily. 'Well, if that's all,' said Harry, getting to his feet. 'NO, IT RUDDY WELL IS NOT ALL!' bellowed Uncle Vernon. 'SIT BACK DOWN!' 'What now?' said Harry impatiently. 'DUDLEY!' roared Uncle Ve...
-two,' said Harry through clenched teeth. 'Why's he all right, then?' blustered Uncle Vernon. 'Why isn't e all empty, then?' 'Because I used the Patronus - ' WHOOSH. With a clattering, a whirring of wings and a soft fall of dust, a fourth owl came shooting out of the kitchen fireplace. 'FOR GOD'S SAKE!'...	two,' said Harry through clenched teeth. 'Why's he all right, then?' blustered Uncle Vernon. 'Why isn't e all empty, then?' 'Because I used the Patronus - ' WHOOSH. With a clattering, a whirring of wings and a soft fall of dust, a fourth owl came shooting out of the kitchen fireplace. 'FOR GOD'S SAKE!' ...
'I want the truth about what happened tonight!' barked Uncle Vernon. 'If it was Demenders who hurt Dudley, how come you've been expelled? You did you-know-what, you've admitted, it!' Harry took a deep, steadying breath. His head was beginning to ache again. He wanted more than anything to get out of the kitchen, an...	I want the truth about what happened tonight!' barked Uncle Vernon. 'If it was Demenders who hurt Dudley, how come you've been expelled? You did you-know-what, you've admitted, it!' Harry took a deep, steadying breath. His head was beginning to ache again. He wanted more than anything to get out of the kitchen, and...
on, with the triumphant air of a man reaching an unassailable conclusion. That's it, isn't it, boy? You're on the run from the law!' 'Of course I'm not,' said Harry, shaking his head as though to scare off a fly, his mind racing now. Then why -?' 'He must have sent them,' said Harry quietly, more to himself...	, with the triumphant air of a man reaching an unassailable conclusion. That's it, isn't it, boy? You're on the run from the law!' 'Of course I'm not,' said Harry, shaking his head as though to scare off a fly, his mind racing now. Then why -?' 'He must have sent them,' said Harry quietly, more to himself t...
she had never looked at him before. And all of a sudden, for the very first time in his life, Harry fully appreciated that Aunt Petunia was his mother's sister. He could not have said why this hit him so very powerfully at this moment. All he knew was that he was not the only person in the room who had an inkling of wh...	had never looked at him before. And all of a sudden, for the very first time in his life, Harry fully appreciated that Aunt Petunia was his mother's sister. He could not have said why this hit him so very powerfully at this moment. All he knew was that he was not the only person in the room who had an inkling of what L...
around on the ceiling and that flying Ford Anglia - OUT! OUT! You've had it! You're history! You're not staying here if some loony's after you, you're not endangering my wife and son, you're not bringing trouble down on us. It you're going the same way as your useless parents, I've had it! OUT!' Harry stood rooted ...	on the ceiling and that flying Ford Anglia - OUT! OUT! You've had it! You're history! You're not staying here if some loony's after you, you're not endangering my wife and son, you're not bringing trouble down on us. It you're going the same way as your useless parents, I've had it! OUT!' Harry stood rooted to the ...
Petunia in a shaking voice. 'It's addressed to me, Vernon, look! Mrs Petunia Dursley, The Kitchen, Number Four, Privet Drive - ' She caught her breath, horrified. The red envelope had begun to smoke. 'Open it!' Harry urged her. 'Get it over with! It'll happen anyway.' 'No.' Aunt Petunia's hand was tremb...	unia in a shaking voice. 'It's addressed to me, Vernon, look! Mrs Petunia Dursley, The Kitchen, Number Four, Privet Drive - ' She caught her breath, horrified. The red envelope had begun to smoke. 'Open it!' Harry urged her. 'Get it over with! It'll happen anyway.' 'No.' Aunt Petunia's hand was tremblin...
Aunt Petunia ignored him. She turned to Harry. 'You're to stay in your room,' she said. 'You're not to leave the house. Now get to bed.' Harry didn't move. 'Who was that Howler from?' 'Don't ask questions,' Aunt Petunia snapped. 'Are you in touch with wizards?' 'I told you to get to bed!' 'W...	unt Petunia ignored him. She turned to Harry. 'You're to stay in your room,' she said. 'You're not to leave the house. Now get to bed.' Harry didn't move. 'Who was that Howler from?' 'Don't ask questions,' Aunt Petunia snapped. 'Are you in touch with wizards?' 'I told you to get to bed!' 'Wh...
relieving his anger he felt worse, as he now had a sharp pain in his toe to deal with in addition to the pain in the rest of his body Just as he limped past the window, Hedwig soared through it with a soft rustle of wings like a small ghost. 'About time!' Harry snarled, as she landed lightly on top of her cage....	ieving his anger he felt worse, as he now had a sharp pain in his toe to deal with in addition to the pain in the rest of his body Just as he limped past the window, Hedwig soared through it with a soft rustle of wings like a small ghost. 'About time!' Harry snarled, as she landed lightly on top of her cage. 'Y...
, the Dursleys kept well clear of his bedroom. Harry couldn't see the point of forcing his company on them; another row would achieve nothing except perhaps make him so angry he'd perform more illegal magic. So it went on for three whole days. Harry was alternately filled with restless energy that made him unable t...	the Dursleys kept well clear of his bedroom. Harry couldn't see the point of forcing his company on them; another row would achieve nothing except perhaps make him so angry he'd perform more illegal magic. So it went on for three whole days. Harry was alternately filled with restless energy that made him unable to ...