Input: Besides the Boeing C-17, what other transport aircraft is the IAF considering for acquisition?

Context:
Transport Aircraft for IAF - Page 67 - Bharat Rakshak
Transport Aircraft for IAF
Re: Transport Aircraft for IAF
Postby abhik » 17 Nov 2014 05:55
+1, Air India recently sold their entire fleet of Boeing 777s.
afaik the A330 MRTT does not make any structural mods or add anything internally in cargo or passenger cabin. it just relies on the intrinsic 110 tons of fuel. external refueling pods are added and internally the control station and cameras for the operator i guess.
so its a easy conversion from a passenger layout to the AAR mode - mostly ripping out the passenger cabin of all extra stuff and retuning the FCS for any changes in COG.
this should have been pursued years ago
the IL78 adds a palletized drum tank system inside its cargo bay due to paucity of intrinsic fuel but it can be removed and a/c converted back to cargo hauling or send off to russia for Phalcon structural mods if we want it that way. they will however need to change engines to PS90 as they have the old engines
http://www.airplane-pictures.net/images ... 7/5616.jpg
the RAF is already gone that route in 2011
http://www.defensenews.com/article/2011 ... -Refuelers
LONDON - Airbus Military has delivered the first of 12 A330-200 airliners due to be converted into in-flight refueling planes for the British Royal Air Force by Cobham Aviation Services.
The aircraft, part of an order of 14 jets, will be modified with aerial refueling pods and other equipment at Cobham's newly refurbished facility in Bournemouth, England. The first two aircraft have already been converted by Airbus in Spain.
The multirole tanker aircraft are being provided to the RAF under a private finance initiative service deal led by Airbus parent EADS.
Seven of the planes will be operated full time by the RAF. The remainder will be available for lease in the third-party market, with the proviso that they can be returned to British military service to meet any surge in demand.
All of the aircraft, to be known as the Voyager in RAF service, will be fitted with two wing-mounted refueling pods, while half the fleet will also be fitted for, but not necessarily with, a center-line mounted unit. The refueling units are being supplied by Cobham.
The first aircraft will become operational in a passenger and freight transport role by the end of this year to start relieving pressure on the RAF's hard-pressed assets.
Despite the increasing fragility of current RAF in-flight refueling operations, the new capability is not contracted to start being used in this role until 2015.
All 14 Voyagers are scheduled to be available for RAF operations by the middle of the decade. The A330 will replace the increasingly ancient Tristar and VC-10 refuelers now in service.
Push the 6 Il-476 from refueler to AEW duty. Phalcon them up
Not sure if that is a good path to follow. For one they all should be sent to pasture in about 8 years. Then if the are to be phalconed up - the requires major structural changes. Not worth that cost.
Whatever happened ot the two new ones that were supposed ot be ordered?
the IL78 can be easily converted back to IL76 cargo hauling. only the fuel tank inside cargo bay needs removal...infact that was even mentioned in initial days as swing role fuel/cargo.
Postby Cybaru » 17 Nov 2014 07:55
I am talking about the new il78 that we ordered recently in refueling role. Sorry for the mix up. They are the same platform, that I why i used 476 or 76 to identify it.
777 carries more internal fuel than the A330. We suck!
From the KC-777 program.
http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/ ... kc-777.htm
"the KC-777 would be 209 feet long with a wingspan of 212 feet, 7 inches. That's the same size as the 777-200LR commercial jet. The KC-777 would be able to carry far more fuel, cargo and passengers than either the KC-767 or the Airbus A330 tanker. The KC-767 offers more operational flexibility, while the KC-777 would be better suited for long-range strategic missions in which more cargo needs to be delivered. The KC-777 would be able to carry more than 350,000 pounds (160,000 kilograms) of fuel and offload more than 220,000 pounds (100,000 kg) of it on a mission of 500 nautical miles (900 kilometers). On the other hand, the KC-767 can lift off with more than 200,000 pounds (90,000 kg) of fuel and offload more than 130,000 pounds (60,000 kg) in a similar mission. The KC-777 would be able to deliver 200 percent more fuel after flying 1,000 nautical miles than older Air Force KC-135s. The KC-777 could carry up to 37 pallets of cargo, compared to the 19 pallets for the KC-767."
Postby Cosmo_R » 18 Nov 2014 04:31
Viv S wrote: From Ajai Shukla's article -
HAL points out that, since each Avro flies barely 350 hours every year, most of them have a residual life of about 80,000 hours. In a request for information (RFI) released on August 15, HAL has proposed replacing the aircraft’s engines (Rolls Royce Dart) with “modern fuel efficient engines”.
So, the IAF's Avros have a residual life of 228 years at the current rate of usage. Ain't life grand?
At zero up time, it could reach infinity.
Relax Cy. Kc777 has no client. Usaf is going with kc767 and almost everyone else with a330.
We don't have the number of heavies and long missions of usaf else I would say convert an124.
KC777 will be extremely expensive given the demand/backlog for the 777 and the 777x. Any buyer would have to virtually pay for the increase in capacity.
I think the 767 production line is closed. so the proposed KC767 Boeing is supposed to deliver 18 by 2017..that can be managed from mothballed and cargo hauler airframes on the market.
but to meet the final order of around 180 will they not have to open the production line unless such a huge number were available on the market?
I do get the spider feel this program again will be cancelled in favour of a in-production plane like the 777X ?
I wasn't suggesting we get the KC777. All I was doing was comparing what possibly the 777 could offload compared to A330. It carries 171000 liters of fuel versus 130000 liters that the A330 carries. If we had older 777s in stock, we could have quite easily converted them to this config. The cost to us would be miniscule just the refurbishing cost vs acquiring a new type.
Singha wrote: I think the 767 production line is closed. so the proposed KC767 Boeing is supposed to deliver 18 by 2017..that can be managed from mothballed and cargo hauler airframes on the market.
The Line is open, they have a backlog of around 50 (All Fed ex), with Fed Ex placing a small order this year. The Pegasus order is for all new builds, and so will the follow on order. The only reason for any nation to buy the 767 tanker is going to be because of the ability to hard bargain with Boeing given that the commercial future of the 767 is dead. This also allows a potential buyer to purchase cheap spares from the open market, or club its logistical and inventory purchase with that of the USAF. Other than that and perhaps availability (which would be doubtful once USAF pushes through a larger order) there is really no technical reason to purchase the this tanker over the A330 which by all accounts is a superior tanker in addition to being a much much better airliner in general.
IAI is doing conversations for the 767 and its called the 767 MMTT
http://www.iai.co.il/sip_storage/FILES/1/38471.pdf
Cybaru wrote: I wasn't suggesting we get the KC777. All I was doing was comparing what possibly the 777 could offload compared to A330. It carries 171000 liters of fuel versus 130000 liters that the A330 carries. If we had older 777s in stock, we could have quite easily converted them to this config. The cost to us would be miniscule just the refurbishing cost vs acquiring a new type.
The cost of converting a commercial airliner to a tanker, certifying it and running a full fledged test program is by no means small. There is absolutely no justification for that sort of cost over and above the capability that that A330 provides. If it were a certified and tested conversion, that would be a different matter.
Postby Kartik » 21 Nov 2014 12:27
Cybaru wrote:
Why? If the airframe can handle more flight hours, why not?
because it is a very very old airframe as is. Maintenance spares won't be available easily even as of now, then imagine how it'll be 20-30 years from now.. and as things stood anyway, the HS-748 offered very little in terms of payload and range versus a C-295 class aircraft. The C-295 offers a very credible light transport, whereas the HS-748's role in the IAF was more akin to a transport trainer and for communication duties with little operational use. Having seen a dozen or so HS-748s parked at Vadodara airport all through my childhood, I never once saw one in the air. They just seemed to be stored out in the open. Upon asking an IAF transport pilot who was my friend's father, he remarked "zyaada kaam ke nahi hain yeh".
Why would you expend more capital on what is essentially an obsolete airframe, even if theoretically it had not yet reached its service life? You'd have to re-engine it, put new avionics on board and even that wouldn't suffice for para dropping requirements..it was operationally never suitable for para dropping, which is an important mission for transport aircraft and had deficiencies in hot and high climes as well.
Unfortunately, the 748 was never meant to be a military transport. At the request of IAF, its door was enlarged to enable larger cargo items to be loaded and to allow para dropping without hitting the tail plane. However, to load a jeep in it, a 30-ft long ramp was required. The jeep would drive in and insert its front wheels into the aircraft. Then it had to be manually lifted and turned to get it in. Unloading it was just as difficult. Para dropping of troops or cargo even from the aircraft with the enlarged door was considered too dangerous with the risk of hitting the tail plane. The aircraft's performance at hot and high airfields was hopelessly inadequate. Eventually IAF acquired the tail-loading An-32s which were powered specifically for IAF's need for operating in the Himalayas.
BRF article -Avro in IAF service
Now unless you want to overcome all these through a costly, time consuming engineering re-design program, that too without access to original documents since this airplane was designed in the 1960s, there is no question of keeping them going for another 40 years. By which time the original design would be over 80 years old and with no one on earth but the IAF as an operator and HAL as the agency supporting it. Hardly a situation anyone would want.
abhik wrote: +1, Air India recently sold their entire fleet of Boeing 777s.
Only 5 of the Boeing 777-200LR, to Etihad Airways, which IMO was a bad decision..they could have reconfigured the airplanes with just 2 classes and continued to fly them to the US, non-stop.
The remaining 3 777-200LR were offered for lease but are still a part of AI's fleet since they didn't find any takers. This particular model hardly sold much and was developed for ultra-long range flights..it was the least successful 777 model and clearly AI goofed up on the configuration by going for these in place of the 300ER. The economics however didn't make too much sense for AI eventually.
there are 13 777-300ER as a part of their fleet ahd their economics is much better.
Govt. to decide tomorrow on whether to go ahead and allow the IAF to verify the technical details of the C-295 bid by Tata-Airbus instead of scrapping the tender due to single vendor situation.
The government will decide on Saturday whether to press ahead with the Rs 13,000 crore mega project for the private sector to supply 56 medium transport aircraft to the IAF despite only a single bidder, the Tata-Airbus consortium, being in the fray.
Though the defence acquisitions council (DAC) chaired by Manohar Parrikar will take the final decision, MoD sources on Tuesday said the "emerging dominant view" is that green signal should be given to the crucial project designed to promote Indian private sector's entry into the domestic aerospace arena with foreign collaboration.
"The Tata-Airbus technical and commercial bid is a credible offer submitted in a competitive environment. The other seven contenders backed out for one reason or the other," said a source.
IAF has now sought the clearance of the DAC -- the first such meeting to be chaired by Parrikar after becoming defence minister on November 10 -- to begin technical evaluation of the C-295 aircraft offered by Airbus Defence & Space and Tata Advanced Systems.
Though it has become a single-vendor situation, the DAC can approve it if it wants as per existing procurement procedures. Of the eight foreign aviation majors that got the global tender, American Boeing and Lockheed-Martin as well as Brazilian Embraer said they did not manufacture the class of aircraft being sought by IAF.
Refusing to take part in the tender, Russian Rosoboronexport said it wanted a fresh design and development project. Antonov of Ukraine wanted yet another extension of the bid submission deadline due to the ongoing conflict in Crimea. Swedish Saab said it had shut down its assembly line for such aircraft.
Then, Alenia Aermacchi was linked to Italian conglomerate Finmeccanica, which has been slapped with "a partial ban" after the infamous VVIP helicopter scandal. "All this left only the European consortium Airbus. The DAC will have to take a call since re-tendering may lead to the same situation," said the source.
Incidentally, it was the Modi government's first DAC in July -- then headed by Arun Jaitley - which revived the Avro replacement project after it was put on hold by the UPA-2 regime last year due to strong opposition from the powerful PSU lobby and ministers like Praful Patel, as reported by TOI earlier.
Apart from the critical need to encourage the private sector to enter defence production in a big way, especially in the aerospace arena where Hindustan Aeronautics enjoys a monopoly, its felt the defence PSU's order books are already overflowing with projects.
Fingers crossed. Hopefully sense will prevail.
Why was lr got? Er is capable of Dubai to sfo nonstop.
Lr is overkill unless we want Delhi to Peru .
Singha wrote: Why was lr got? Er is capable of Dubai to sfo nonstop.
they wanted it for non-stop routes from India to the west coast of the US. But with fuel prices going higher and with the lower seat count on the 777-200LR, the seat mile costs grew too high. A 3 class configuration only made matters worse. A higher density configuration with more economy class seats and just 12-15 Business class seats would have been better perhaps, especially if they didn't have very high First Class load factors.
LR and ER is better if you want to have a better payload down below for long haul. Ultimately, the best bet is going to come form the 787's that take a fewer people (so you can do the longer routes) with still a competitive CASM, and the B and F class folks will pay good money for newer aircraft.
Postby Kartik » 04 Dec 2014 12:55
Lets see if there is any forward movement on the stalled MTA project once Putin arrives in New Delhi
Major defence deals to be signed during Putin-Modi summit
In this connection, it is expected that during the summit, Russia and India may ultimately resolve several long-delayed agreements on military-technical cooperation projects between the two countries and sign them finally for their implementation. These agreements, above all, include joint Fifth Generation Fighter Aircraft (FGFA) project and joint development of Multi-role Transport Aircraft (MTA).
A final deal on FGFA for production has been delayed because the Indian Air Force (IAF) did not approve the design and work-share. Now Russia has reportedly agreed that the jet would be a two-seat design, not a one-seater. India’s work-share would also be increased from18 percent to 25 percent, and even up to 40-50 percent in the near future, in view of the steady development of the Indian aviation industry.
Defence and SecurityAccording to the agreement, India’s stealth air-to-air missile “Astra” along with Indo-Russian BrahMos supersonic cruise missile will be mounted on the FGFA.
The preliminary design agreement on FGFA had been signed in 2010 between Indian HAL and Russian Sukhoi Design Bureau to build the jet for the use by both countries. The final design contract was to be signed in July-August 2012. But the deadline has already passed. According to the Indian media reports, under the programme, India is expected to build 200 fighter jets at the cost of $30 billion.
FGFA is not the only Indo-Russia joint project. The two countries also signed an agreement on the joint development of MTA in 2007, based on Il-214 Russian plane. The cost of the $600 million project is being equally shared by the two countries. The MTA, when developed, will have ready market for 205 aircraft - 45 for the Indian Air Force, 100 for the Russian Air Force, and 60 more for exporting to friendly countries. The international market for MTA is estimated at 390 planes. Under the agreement, thirty percent of the annual production of planes could be exported to third countries.
The MTA was expected to go in service with the Russian and Indian Air Forces in 2015. But the project faced a number of problems, delaying the development of the MTA. The project got into rough weather after India felt there was nothing much for Indian engineers and scientists to do in the design and development of the MTA.
However, all the issues related to the project were resolved with the Russians when the HAL undertook to carry out design and development of its work-share of MTA at Aircraft R&D Centre at Bangalore. Russian Ilyushin Design Bureau and the Irkut Corporation and HAL are participating in the project. The first flight is expected to take place in 2017-18.
The MTA would replace the AN- 32 aircraft being used by the IAF. It will be used for both cargo and troop transportation, para-drop and air drop of supplies, including low-altitude parachute extraction system.
BrahMos missile exports a challenging proposition
Another key deal expected to be signed during the summit, is for the development of “BrahMos mini missile” by the Indo-Russian joint venture BrahMos Aerospace which manufactures supersonic cruise missile. BrahMos’ new CEO Sudhir Mishra recently said he was hopeful that a deal to develop the mini version of the missile will be signed during Putin’s summit with Modi.
“We are hoping to sign a tripartite agreement between DRDO, NPOM lab and BrahMos Aerospace during the planned visit of Russian President in December,” Mishra said.
He said that the new missile will have a speed of 3.5 mach and carry a payload of 300 km up to a range of 290 km. In size, it will be about half of the present missile, which is around 10 metres long. The missile can be integrated with different platforms, including submarines and FGFA. It is planned to be inducted into service by 2017.
Modi-Abbott to upgrade defence ties
A new dimension:
In a first, India and Australia will also set up a mechanism to discuss “synergies in integrating defence system”, including research and development cooperation on integrating defence equipment that both countries currently purchase, for example, U.S’s C-17 Globemaster III, according to officials.
^^That report about MTA is fishy. First it says that India has nothing to learn from an existing design (duh) and then says the issue has been resolved. How? Next it says India's need is 45 planes to replace over 100 An-32s. It also speculates about the export potential which may be nonexistent unless we sell it for peanuts.
This is a scam which only aims to create screwdriver jobs at HAL, stall any attempt to introduce private players into the aviation market and continue the Russian gravy train. My fear is the Russkies have our testiments in a firm grip with key components of Brahmos, nuke subs, Su30mki etc and we may be jerked around.
(They need to be more definitive about "MTA" - Multirole vs. Medium)
The Indians had not selected an engine (among other things) for the MTA with the Russians. Perhaps that has been resolved now.
On export numbers, IIRC, it was the responsibility of Rosoboronexport. ?????
Kartik wrote: The MTA would replace the AN- 32 aircraft being used by the IAF. It will be used for both cargo and troop transportation, para-drop and air drop of supplies, including low-altitude parachute extraction system.
Pardon my ignorance. The Avro and An-32 have different upgrade paths. How are the replacements for these venerable aircraft different in terms of use cases in IAF. Cannot one platform replace both these types? (Either MTA or C-295)
In this case, I feel they should have just gone with screwdrivergiri (production tech) and got to market first. There is no jet-powered transporter in this range! Just license produce the IL-214 with the PD-14M, glass cockpit and a state-of-the-art COTS avionics computer.
In my view, it was a low hanging fruit, which they completely messed up! They could have learnt on how to adopt the plane for the 160-200 seater.
indranilroy wrote: They could have learnt on how to adopt the plane for the 160-200 seater.
Yes, the MTA project should fold the Avro, An-32 and the regional transport role and become a conversion project rather a development one. The driving numbers will come from the regional transport (thousands in India itself) rather than the Avro or medium transport roles (max 300 between them). This changes the ball game and introduces all kinds of possibilities. But I'm pretty sure that the Il-214/MTA is not the way to go because it will take a decade or more to arrive. A good possibility was another Antonov, the An-148 but it has some mechanical glitches apparently besides being bogged down in the Ukraine mess. Maybe the Russians can "relocate" the aircraft to Russia? The other possibility is the BAe-146 which is ironically another Avro. We should remember that both the HS-748 "Avro" and An-32 were regional airliners that were converted to military use, not the other way around. HAL or a private firm will pick up a lot of experience in the conversion process itself.
The Sukhoi Superjet is already in production/orders,with over 100+ for Russian and intl. customers. It is ideal for regional transport,perfect for flights to smaller Tier-2/3 cities from metros. If we really want a regional jet this is the fastest way toi go,we can set up a manufacturing unti here for the same at an HAL unit.
Postby shaun » 05 Dec 2014 15:24
Its an international projects, with components outsourced from different international vendors . Over 30 foreign partnership companies are involved in the project and partly financed by Italy.
Sukhoi is good for passenger use but wont be suitable for military, rough field use. The shoulder wing jets like the An-148 have slower speeds and better ground clearance. The Bae-146 was usedby Druk Air in Bhutan so it should do OK in the ALGs. If we don't fold our requirements then we should go with something like the Superjet which we will at least be able to make in India and also modify to stretched versions. Unless we have a clear path to operational clearance within 10 yrs for the RTA project vetted by our top industrial houses, it is pie-in-the-sky and should be dropped. The RTA will be big enough to keep 2-3 factories humming and leapfrog our capabilities. If we don't get our act together almost immediately, we will miss the boat, just like our trainer fiascos.
I don't think Superjet fits into our scheme of things. We should think as a country and see to it that our programs don't trample on each other.
First, the more certain ones:
1. Mahindras NM5 and Airvans can care of the low-cost but sturdy 5,8,10 and 18-seater section.
2. Saras had such great potential for being the high performance 14-18 seater. But I have almost given up on it. This section will most probably be taken up by the Tata-built Do-228 NG.
3. We should standardize the C-295 as the Avro/An-32 replacement and create a 70-80 seater variant out of it.
And then the more wishful ones:
1. If the RTA is going to be a jet, then make it a 100-130 seater. I don't expect the first prototype to take the sky before 2025. I feel it is too big of a jump where we don't even have a base. With LCA, at least we were at least license producing other fighters.
4. Building on the IL-214, the MTA was on a more sure footing. But, I can't see how the first prototype can to take to the sky before 2019(more than 10 years since MTAL was formed)! If the transport plane materializes, then one can imagine making a civilian 150-200 seater version of the same. But this program needs a push. Will Putin's visit be able to galvanize this into the next symbol of Indo-Russian cooperation. Probably not!
Postby GeorgeWelch » 12 Dec 2014 23:39
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/defence-de ... -1.2144472
The Defence Department intends to purchase a Boeing C-17 Globemaster III, a large military transport plane that comes with a price tag of just under $200 million, CTV News has learned
It's difficult to get a good count, but by some sources, if this and the 4 Australia planes go through, there will only be 5 left.
X-Posting from FGFA thread.
Despite Putin’s visit, two pacts on military aircraft still in doldrums
President Vladimir Putin may have come and gone but stalemate largely persists over two key long-pending India-Russian defence projects, the fifth-generation fighter aircraft (FGFA) and military multirole transport aircraft (MTA).
The deadlock over the MTA, which were initially envisaged to gradually replace IAF's ageing fleet of the medium-lift AN-32 aircraft, seems to be much more serious. India now wants to ascertain the cost viability of the twin-engine transport aircraft in comparison to similar planes available in the market.
There are also questions about the MTA's "predicted timelines for delivery" as well as its failure to meet the high-altitude requirements, which need to be answered before India even thinks of inking the full-scale contract for the project, said sources.
Postby Gyan » 13 Dec 2014 12:29
indranilroy wrote: I don't think Superjet fits into our scheme of things. We should think as a country and see to it that our programs don't trample on each other.
1. Mahindras NM5 and Airvans can care of the low-cost but sturdy 5,8,10 and 18-seater section. Righto
2. Saras had such great potential for being the high performance 14-18 seater. But I have almost given up on it. This section will most probably be taken up by the Tata-built Do-228 NG. We need future extended variants of presurrized aircraft like 30 seater Saras and say 30 seater unpressurized Do-328 NG.
3. We should standardize the C-295 as the Avro/An-32 replacement and create a Civilian turboprop pressurized cabin 70-80 seater variant out of it.
1. If the RTA is going to be a jet, then make it a 100-130 seater. Agreeeeeed I don't expect the first prototype to take the sky before 2025. I feel it is too big of a jump where we don't even have a base. With LCA, at least we were at least license producing other fighters. Though I think that we should participate in Russian MS-21 and also the wide body follow on.
4. Building on the IL-214, the MTA was on a more sure footing. But, I can't see how the first prototype can to take to the sky before 2019(more than 10 years since MTAL was formed)! If the transport plane materializes, then one can imagine making a civilian 150-200 seater version of the same. Though I think that we should participate in Russian MS-21 and also the wide body follow on. But this program needs a push. Will Putin's visit be able to galvanize this into the next symbol of Indo-Russian cooperation. Probably not!
Absence of any specifics on Sukhoi Superjet, MS-21, Wide body aircraft, Mi-38, MRTA, FGFA, even after Putin visit is very disappointing.
FlightGlobal- Boeing sitting on 8 unsold C-17s
By: Dan ParsonsWashington DCSource: Flightglobal.com
This story is sourced from Flightglobal.com 12 hours agoBoeing has sold two more C-17 transports to an undisclosed customer, but it will likely end the year with eight unsold white tails.
There are 10 Boeing C-17 airlifters in various stages of assembly at the company’s Long Beach, California, production facility.
Two of the aircraft are spoken for by an unnamed customer, Boeing says. Boeing is trying to sell off the other eight white tails, which will be the last produced before the factory is shuttered sometime in the summer of 2015.
The 279th – and final – C-17 fuselage will be mated to its wings in January or February, programme spokeswoman Tiffany Pitts tells Flightglobal. The operation is California’s last remaining aircraft production line and the lone widebody military aircraft production line in the USA, according to Boeing.
At least two countries – Australia and Canada – have publicly announced an intention to purchase a C-17, though neither factor into Boeing’s future planning, Pitts says. Until contracts are finalised, the number available remains eight, she says. The Royal Canadian Air Force already has four C-17As, according to Flightglobal’s World Air Forces 2014 directory.
Canadian news outlets reported earlier in December that the air force would buy one C-17 with money left over at the end of 2015.
Australia is further along with its bid to purchase C-17s. The US Defense Security Cooperation Agency in November announced Australia was approved to buy up to four C-17s and support equipment for $1.6 billion.
Boeing has plans to store any unsold C-17s following closure of its production line, Pitts says.
“I’m hoping they all will be sold before then, but we’ve had plans in place for a very long time to store and maintain the aircraft if that doesn’t happen,” she says.
the IAF will need to factor in the demand vs availability of C-17s and stock up with a follow-on order quickly. The initial plan to have 16 C-17s may not fructify, considering that there are just 8 left now, with Australia having announced plans to buy 4 more.
why are they closing the line if it has demands ???
Real estate sales tactics probably. Buy now last 8 3bhk flats Saar.
krishnan wrote: why are they closing the line if it has demands ???
It requires 3 years lead time to order raw materials/parts from all of its sub-vendors. All current firm orders have been fulfilled, and no new orders have come. Anticipating a need for a few more aircrafts, they produced 10 extra (self-funded) units before production winded down. Bottom line is they don't make money keeping an idle plant around with all its employees and infrastructure. At most what they will likely do is keep a limited infrastructure around for a few more years in case a bunch of new orders come. They can then see if it makes business sense to re-open the plant.
Postby Aditya_V » 17 Dec 2014 12:19
Wish this can be brought to the notice of Journos/ Poster when slamming LCA/ Arjun and other indigenous projects. If there are no orders there will be no efficiency.
Dec 10, 2014 :: Russia launches Il-76MDM upgrade programme
Russia's Ilyushin has started to upgrade a first Russian Air Force (VVS) Ilyushin Il-76MD 'Candid' military transport aircraft to Il-76MDM standard, company officials have told IHS Jane's . The main features of the upgrade include refurbished engines and upgraded avionics.
The modernisation is being conducted at the VVS's Military Transport Aviation (MTA) maintenance facility based at the Ilyushin division in Zhukovsky city near Moscow.
A senior Ilyushin official told IHS Jane's that the upgrade of the first aircraft will be finished in 18 months. Subsequent aircraft will take less time to complete the process, however. When the modernisation is finished the initial Il-76MDM will undergo state trials. The upgrade process for subsequent aircraft will begin when the trials programme is completed.
IHS Jane's was previously told by a VVS senior official that the modernisation of 41 MTA Il-76MDs is planned by 2020. While the Il-76MDM upgrade retains the old D-30KP engine (compared with the PS-90A engine equipping the new Il-76MD-90A/Il-476), the modernisation effort should match the aircraft's onboard electronics with those of the newbuild Il-76MD-90A. This and other efforts mean the cost of modernising the Il-76MD to Il-76MDM is only a third of that of a newbuild Il-76MD-90A.
The existing D-30KP engines are to be enhanced to increase their service life. The overall aircraft's service life will be extended by 15 years.
The upgrade works are planned to be conducted in an aviation repair factory or in the MTA's aircraft maintenance facility. As a result, the Ulyanovsk-based Aviastar-SP plant, which is building the Il-76MD-90A, is not involved in the Il-76MD to Il-76MDM modernisation programme.
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Answer: The IAF is considering the acquisition of the Airbus A330 MRTT (Multi-Role Tanker Transport) besides the Boeing C-17.


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Context:
'用户指南 * User Guide 02 CN 11 EN * 包装内含 使用前注意事项 快速引导 产品部件详情说明 操作说明 02 02 03 06 08 01
•本产品支持在系统设置中进行瞳距调节 , 调节时请务必注意，最小瞳距可能会碰触鼻梁。当您佩戴头盔后，您 “显示”中进行手动调节，请注意设置使用不合适的瞳距，可能会引起视觉重影或者眼睛疲劳。 可在“设置” ► •本产品“护眼模式”经德国 TÜV Rheinland 低蓝光认证，通过软件算法降低三色通道中的蓝光量，来达到保护 “护眼” “色彩调节” 眼睛的作用，该模式下画面颜色偏黄，您可根据个人喜好在“设置” 中激活或关闭此功能。 ““显示” ► ► ► 包装内含： VR 头盔 / 手柄 × 2 / 1.5V AA 碱性干电池 × 4/ 眼镜支架 / 遮光鼻托 / 手柄挂绳 × 2 / USB-C 电源适配器 / USB-Cto C 2.0 数据线 / 快速指南 / 用户指南 / 安全与质保指南使用前注意事项 •本产品在开阔的室內环境使用体验最佳，建议至少预留 2×2 米 的空间。使用前请确认身体没有不适且周围环 境安全，特别是佩戴头盔在室内行走移动时，要尽量避免发生意外。 •不建议 12 岁及以下儿童使用本产品，建议将头盔、手柄和配件置于儿童够不到的位置，13 岁以上青少年须在 成人监护下使用，以免发生意外。 •本产品无近视调节功能，近视用户请佩戴眼镜使用并尽量避免近视眼镜被头盔的光学镜片磨伤或刮伤。建议在 使用和收纳时注意防护光学镜片，避免尖锐物体划伤镜片，擦拭清洁时请使用柔软的眼镜布，否则可能划伤镜片， 影响视觉效果。 •长时间使用可能引发轻微的昡晕或者眼疲劳，建议使用 30 分钟后适当休息，可通过眼保健操或观看远处物体缓 解眼疲劳。如果您的身体感到任何不适，请立即停止使用。如果不适持续，请咨询医生。 •当头盔镜片被阳光或紫外线照射时（尤其在户外、阳台、窗台及汽车内存放时），可能导致屏幕出现永久性黄斑。 请尽量避免该情况发生，此种屏幕损坏不在产品的质保范围内。 *本产品最终外观及功能以实物为准，部分地区包装内含物品有所差异，本说明仅供参考。 02 CN
六自由度 VR 体验 本产品可以追踪头盔和手柄前、后、左、右、上、下和旋转的运动状态，您在现实中的肢体运动会实时反映在虚 拟世界中。 由于没有任何线缆的束缚，您在虚拟世界自由探索时请确保游玩区域的安全。 1. 建议准备一个整洁安全的体验空间：至少 2×2 米；保持房间明亮，避免在只有单色的墙或大面积玻璃、镜子类 反射物以及许多移动画面和物体的空间中使用。 2. 撕下 VR 头盔前端摄像头上的保护膜，并佩戴手柄挂绳。 3. 根据开机后的画面提示进行游玩区域的设定。 ❶ 安装电池 按箭头方向拔出电池盖侧边的绝缘纸 快速引导 提示：本产品虚拟的安全区提醒功能，不能完全保证您在设定好的游戏区域中的安全，请时刻注意周围的安全情况。 提示：建议使用 1.5V AA 碱性电池。 按照图示拨动电池盖拨钮打开电池盖更换电池。 03 CN
❷ 手柄开机 ❸ 头盔开机 ❹ 佩戴头盔，调节至清晰舒适的位置 首次开机：拔出绝缘纸，手柄自动开机（蓝灯闪烁） 非首次开机：短按手柄 Home 键开机（蓝灯闪烁） 长按头盔电源键 2 秒（蓝灯常亮） 调节旋钮转动绑带，使后脑垫套在头上，微调绑带长度及佩戴位置至视野清晰 04 提示：近视用户请佩戴眼镜或镜片插件使用，本产品不具备近视调节功能。 CN
❺ 微调顶绑带 微调顶绑带使其受力以减少额头压力 ❻ 瞳 距 调 节 在系统设置：“设置” ► “显示”界面中进行瞳距调节，点击“+”或“-”按钮可微调瞳距直至画面清晰 64mm 请勿 强行 掰动镜 筒，以 免造 成损坏 ！ 请注 意设 置使用 不合适 的瞳 距，可 能 会引起 视 觉重影 或 者眼睛 疲 劳。准 确 的瞳距 设 置有助 于 获得清 晰 的图像 并 减少眼睛 疲劳。 05 CN
产品部件详情说明 头盔状态指示灯 蓝灯常亮：开机进行中或工作状态 黄灯常亮：充电中，电量低于 98% 红灯常亮：充电中，电量低于 20% 绿灯常亮：充电完毕，电量大于 98% 或 充满 蓝灯闪烁：关机进行中 红灯闪烁：电量低于 20% 指示灯熄灭：休眠或关机 06 ① 电源键 开机：长按 2 秒 关机：长按 5 秒 复位：长按 10 秒 开机时，短按休眠 ② ③ ④ ⑤ 状态指示灯 贴脸泡棉 音量键 彩色透视摄像头 使用时请勿遮挡 ⑥ ⑦ ⑧ 顶部绑带 可拆卸 绑带旋钮 环境追踪摄像头 使用时请勿遮挡 ⑨ ⑩ ⑪ USB-C 接口 左 / 右喇叭 距离传感器 佩戴头盔后，系统自动唤醒 摘下头盔后，系统自动休眠 ⑫ ⑬ 眼球追踪摄像头 此功能仅 Pro 版支持 使用时请勿遮挡 面部追踪摄像头 此功能仅 Pro 版支持 使用时请勿遮挡 CN
手柄状态指示灯 熄灭：已连接或者关机 蓝灯常亮：固件升级模式 蓝灯闪烁：连接中 红蓝灯交替慢速闪烁：等待配对 ① ② 摇杆 菜单键 ③ Home 键 开机 : 短按关机 : 长按 6 秒退出应用 : 短按屏幕中心校正 : 长按 1 秒④ ⑤ ⑥ ⑦ 状态指示灯 抓握键 截屏键 扳机键 ⑧ ⑨ 电池盒 打开：拨动拨钮，电池盒弹出 安装：按压直至自动锁紧 追踪光环 使用时请勿遮挡 注：手柄挂绳可按图示将粗绳穿过细绳并锁紧在手柄尾端 07 CN
手柄硬件复位 如果手柄出现按 Home 键和任何按键均无反应或者头盔中虚拟手柄卡死不动的问题可拆装电池重新启动手柄。 近视用户配戴 本设备不具备近视调节功能，头盔可支持佩戴镜框宽度小于 150mm 的大多数标准眼镜。 操作说明 头控模式 未连接手柄的情况下，您可通过转动头部光标及点击头盔音量加减按键进行操作。 切换主控手柄射线 在主控菜单下，短按对应手柄的扳机键可以切换主控手柄的射线。 屏幕中心校正 戴着头盔直视前方，按住手柄 Home 键（或头控模式下头盔上的音量减键）1 秒以上，进行屏幕中心的校正将菜 单拉到当前视野朝向位置。 断开手柄 长按手柄 Home 键直至手柄状态指示灯红灯亮起并伴随振动产生时即可松手，此时手柄关机并断开与头盔的连接。 您无需刻意进行手柄关机操作，在以下状态下手柄会自动关机省电： •头盔进入深度休眠时（摘下头盔后一段时间） •头盔手柄管理界面解绑手柄时 •头盔关机时 添加新手柄 如需添加新手柄（头盔最多可同时连接一对手柄，即左右手柄各一只），或解绑手柄后再次连接 , 可进入“设置” “手 柄”，点击“配对”，同时按住手柄 Home 键和扳机键直至手柄状态指示灯红蓝交替闪烁时即可松开，然后根据 头盔画面提示操作。 ► 休眠 / 唤醒 方式一：摘下头盔一段时间后，系统自动休眠；戴上头盔时，系统自动唤醒。 方式二：短按头盔电源键也可以进行休眠或唤醒操作。 硬件复位 头盔硬件复位 如果头盔出现短按头盔电源键没有反应或头盔的画面卡死等问题，可以长按头盔电源键 10 秒以上重新启动头盔。 08 CN
安装眼镜支架 安装遮光鼻托 如您存在眼镜摩擦光学镜片或者压迫鼻梁的问题，请按照图示安装眼镜支架以增加间隔空间。 您可根据佩戴的舒适度选择是否安装。 如您感觉鼻子处漏光影响体验，请按照图示安装遮光鼻托配件。 由于眼睛空间密闭可能加剧起雾及出汗问题，您可根据喜好选择是否安装。 ❶ 摘下贴脸泡棉 ❷ 将眼镜支架按照图示安装在产品上 ❸ 将贴脸泡棉按照图示安装眼镜支架上 ❶ 摘下贴脸泡棉 ❸ 安装贴脸泡棉❷ 将遮光鼻托按照图示方式安装在贴脸泡棉上 注：按照图示拆卸眼镜支架 09 CN
更换贴脸泡棉 贴脸泡棉多次清洁和长时间使用后会变色和质地变软，您可酌情更换新泡棉。 更换顶绑带 摘下贴脸泡棉 ❸ 安装贴脸泡棉 按照图示捏住顶绑带金属扣，往下压到底然后抽出 ❷ •购买优质热门应用 •畅 聊 社 区， 与 众 多 PICO 玩 家 一起探索 VR 世界 •管理设备更便捷 •参与丰富互动活动 •更多精彩内容等你来发现 ❶ 微 信公 众 号：PICO VR抖音：PICO官 方 旗 舰 店哔 哩 哔 哩：PICO-VR官 方微 博：PICO-VR ❶ ❷ 10 CN
In The Box: VR Headset / 2 Controllers / 4 1.5V AA Alkaline Batteries / Glasses Spacer / Nose Pad / 2 Controller Lan- yards / USB-C Power Adapter / USB-C to C 2.0 Data Cable / Quick Guide / User Guide / Safety and WarrantyGuide Important Health & Safety Notes • This product is designed and intended to be used in an open and safe indoor area, free of anytripping or slipping hazards. To avoid accidents, remain conscious to the potential confines ofyour physical area and respect the boundary of your virtual area whenever you see it. Be sure towear the lanyards when using the Controllers. Make sure that there is enough space around yourhead and body (at least 2 meters by 2 meters) to stretch your arms to avoid damage or injury toyourself, others, and your surroundings. • This product is not recommended for children aged 12 and under. It is recommended to keep headsets,controllers and accessories out of the reach of children. Teenagers aged 13 and over must use it underadult supervision to avoid accidents. • This product is designed to accommodate most prescription glasses. Make sure to wear the VR Headsetin a manner in which the VR Headset lenses do not rub or impair your prescription lenses. • Prolonged use may cause dizziness or eye fatigue. It is recommended to take a break every 30 minutes.Try relieving your eyestrain by looking at distant objects. If you feel any discomfort, stop using the prod- uct immediately. If the discomfort persists, seek medical advice.• Do not expose the optical lenses to direct sunlight or other strong light sources. Exposure to direct sunlight may enhance the clarity and brightness of the display. Improvements in display clarity or brightness caused by sunlight exposure or other strong sources of light are not covered by the warranty. • This product supports interpupillary distance (IPD) adjustment in system settings. When adjusting,please be aware that with the minimum IPD, it may touch the bridge of the nose. You can adjust the IPDaccording to your actual interpupillary distance in "Settings"►"Display". Please note that using inap- propriate IPD may increase the risk of discomfort. • This product has an “Eye Protection Mode”, certified by TÜV Rheinland (Germany), which can protectyour eyes by reducing blue light in the three color channels using software algorithms. The screen ap- pears yellowish in this mode and you can turn this feature on/off in "Settings"►"Display"►"Color"►“- Eye Protection”. • Protect optical lenses during use and storage to prevent damage, such as scratches or exposure tostrong light or direct sunlight. * Product and packaging are updated regularly, and the functions and contents of the standalone headset may be upgraded in the future.Therefore, the content, appearance and functionality listed in this manual and product packaging are subject to change and may notreflect the final product. These instructions are for reference only. * Carefully read this user guide before using the product and share this information with any other users, as it contains important safetyinformation. Keep the user guide as reference for the future. 11 EN
6 Degrees of Freedom VR The device can track your translational and rotational movements in all directions (up/down, left/right,forward/backward, pitch, roll, and yaw). Your movements in the real world will be captured and translatedto what you see in the virtual world when using the appropriate content. Ensure a safe environment before you start your VR experience. 1. Clear a safe indoor area of at least 2 meters by 2 meters. Keep the room bright, avoid spaces with main- ly single-colored walls, glass, mirrors, moving pictures or other similar objects. 2. Remove the protective film that covers the headset front cameras. Wear the lanyards connected to theControllers. 3. Set up your environment by following instructions on the VR Headset screen. Install Batteries ❶Pull the tab to remove the insulating paper. Quick Guide 2 m 2m This product can not guarantee your safety with guardian system, you will need to always pay attention to the surrounding safety. * Note: 1.5V AA alkaline batteries should be used.Slide the toggle according to arrow direction toopen the battery case. 12 EN
Power on the Controller ❷ First Start: The Controller will start automaticallyafter removing the insulating paper. Others: Short press the Home button for 1second until the status indicator flashes blue.Power on the VR Headset ❸ Long press the Power button for 2 seconds untilthe status indicator turns blue.Wear Your Headset for a Comfortable Fit and View ❹ Adjust the strap dial to turn the strap so that the back of your head rests on the padding. Fine-tune thelength and position of the strap to give a clear view. * Note: You can use this product with prescription glasses or lenses insert. 13 EN
Fine-tune the Top Strap ❺ Fine-tune the head strap to reduce pressure on the forehead. Interpupillary Distance (IPD) Adjustment ❻ In System Setting, go to “Setting” ► “Display” to adjust IPD, tap “+” or “-” button to slightly adjust IPDuntil the picture is clear. 14 64mm Please note that inappropriate IPD setting may cause ghosting or eyestrain.Accurate IPD setting helps you get a clear imaging and ease eyestrain. EN
Product Details VR Headset Status Indicator Legend Blue: Powered on with battery over 20% Yellow: Charging: Battery is less than 98% Red: Charging: Battery is less than 20% Green: Charging: Battery is more than 98% or charge complete Blue flashing: Shutting down Red flashing: Battery is less than 20% Off: Sleeping or Powered off Power Power on: Long press for 2 seconds Power off: Long press for 5 seconds Hardware reset: Long press for 10 seconds Short press to enter sleep or wake up Status Indicator Face Cushion Volume ① ② ③ ④ ⑤ ⑥ ⑦ ⑧ RGB See Through Camera Do not block during use. Top Strap Removable Strap Dial Tracking Cameras Do not block during use. ⑨ ⑩ ⑪ USB-C Interface Left/Right Speaker Proximity Sensor The system wakes upwhen the VR headset isput on, sleeps when VRheadset is taken off. ⑫ ⑬ Eye Tracking Cameras Pro version only. Do not block during use. Face Tracking Camera Pro version only. Do not block during use. 15 EN
Controller Status Indicator Legend Off: Connected or Powered off Blue: Firmware updating in progress Blue flashing: Searching for connection Red and blue flashing alternately: Pairing in progress 16 Joystick Menu ③ ① ② Home Power on: Short pressPower off: Long press for 6 secondsReturn home screen: Short pressScreen recentering: Press for 1 secondStatus Indicator Grip Capture Trigger ④ ⑤ ⑥ ⑦ ⑧ ⑨ Battery Case Open: Slide down the toggle andpop up the battery case. Lock: Push the battery case to lock. Tracking Ring Do not block during use. * Note: Pass the Controller Lanyardthrough the string as shown andlock at the end of the Controller EN
Operating Instructions Headset Control Mode If the Controller is not connected, you can interact with the home screen by moving your head to directthe crosshairs over your intended selection and clicking the Volume Up/Down button on the VR Headset. Switch the pointer of the master Controller In the home screen, short press the Trigger of the corresponding Controller to switch the pointer of themaster Controller. Screen re-centering Wear the VR Headset and look straight ahead, press and hold the Home button of the Controller or VRHeadset ( or the Volume Down button of the VR Headset in head control mode) for more than 1 second tore-center the screen. Disconnect the Controller Press and hold the Home button until the status indicator turns red and the Controller vibrates.Controllers will automatically shut down to save power in the following cases:When the VR Headset enters deep sleep (a while after the VR Headset is taken off)When the Controller is unpairedWhen the VR Headset is powered off Add a new Controller If you need to add a new Controller (the VR Headset can only connect one left Controller and one rightController) or reconnect with an unpaired Controller. Go to “Settings” ► “Controller”, click on “Pair”.Press and hold the Home button and the Trigger of the Controller at the same time until the red and bluelights of the Controller flashing alternately, and then follow the instructions on the VR Headset screen. Sleep / Wake up Option 1 (Proximity Sensor) Take off VR Headset for automatic sleeping: wear the VR Headset for automat- ic waking up. Option 2 (POWER Button) Press the Power button of the VR Headset for manual sleeping or waking up. Hardware reset VR Headset reset If the visual in the VR Headset freezes, or the VR Headset does not respond after short press the Powerbutton, you can press the Power button of the VR Headset for more than 10 seconds to reboot the VRHeadset. Controller reset If the virtual Controller, the Home button or any buttons of the Controller doesn\'t respond, remove andreinstall the battery case to restart the Controller. The VR Headset Adjustment This device has no myopia adjustment function. The VR Headset allows wearing most standard glasseswith a frame width of less than 150mm. to install Glasses Spacer to increase the space. You can install or not according to your situation. 17 EN
Install Glasses Spacer Install Nose Pad If you have glasses collision with headset lens or pressure on the bridge of nose, please follow the pictureto install Glasses Spacer to increase the space. You can install or not according to your situation. If you feel light leaking from your nose, please follow the picture to install Nose Pad to block the light.You can consider having it installed at your own discretion. Disassemble the Face Cushion. Install the Glasses Spacer on the Headset. ❸ ❶ ❷ Install the Face Cushion on the Glasses Spacer. Disassemble the Face Cushion. Install the Nose Pad on the Face Cushion. ❶ ❷ Install the Face Cushion on the Headset. ❸ * Note: Disassemble the Glasses Spacer 18 EN
Replace Face Cushion The Face Cushion will have the following phenomena such as color change, surface fluff, soft texture afterlong-term use and repeated cleaning. You can replace a new Face Cushion as needed. Replace Top Strap ❶ ❷ Disassemble the Face Cushion. Pinch the metal buckle of the top strap asshown, press it down and pull it out.Install the Face Cushion on. ❸ ❷ ❶ • Purchase high-quality and trending apps • Join PICO Community and explore the VR worldwith other PICO players• Manage your device with ease • Engage in diverse and interactive activities • More exciting features waiting for you 19 EN
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Answer: The VR headset lenses may enhance the clarity and brightness of the display.


Input: Why does Craig want to find his own place?

Context:
My Aspergers Child: COMMENTS & QUESTIONS [for Feb., 2017]
I emailed you a while back and you mentioned that I could email when I needed to. Thank you. I last wrote you in December that my son became involved in a dispute involving the local police. We have had 3 court dates. It keeps delaying due to not being able to come to an agreement. But the attorney, even though he was just vaguely familiar with Aspergers, has been very good with Craig. He has the compassion and excellence that is needed here. What started out very bad is turning into a good thing. It will probably take another 90 days or more.
But Craig is working hard. Too hard sometimes. He goes to therapy 3 times a week. Doing excellent. He's more focused and can calm down easier. He's got a lot on his plate but has support from his family. From his attorney. From therapy. And from his work.
He has been renting a room from a lady who has a son with ADHD. It is good for him. I'm a little worried though because since she smokes he wants to find his own place. With all the costs he has to balance it out financially. That is good. I can't help him more than I am which is good. He is stepping up and taking responsibility. He is listening much better.
He is going to have an evaluation today to get an accurate diagnosis. I understand that is a little difficult since he is an adult. Also the PTSD may cover it over. The attorney stated it would help to have the diagnosis.
Aware this is a long update, but thanks for reading. I am fighting much guilt still but I have a lot of peace now. My daughter and her 4 year old son also have Aspergers symptoms. So my life chapters may not close for a while. :-)
My name is Mac. I'm sure you're quite busy, so I'll get right to it I just wanted to pass on compliments on My Aspergers Child and your post, How to Implement the GFCF Diet: Tips for Parents of Autistic Children.
Me and my wife absolutely loved it!
I got a facebook message from him today begging to be able to come home saying he misses home and he will change. He says he will follow rules now. I stated to him the simple rules he has to follow which were - No weed in my house, or smoked in my house, coming home at curfew, going to school, no skipping, no drugs at school, and to drop the attitude of I am 17 I can do whatever I want.
I have made it very clear that if I see any drugs in my home I will be calling the police, as well as if I see signs of it being sold by him I will report him. (He has never had selling amounts in my house, ... I believe it's being kept at his "friends" which of course I have no proof of....I just know it is not here.
I know my battle is not over by a long shot, I am sure we will have more consequences and possibly another being kicked out, but I am going to think positive and hope that he learned some form of a valuable lesson here.
Thank you so much for the guidance, never in a million years did I ever think I'd be on this side, (the one needing the help, as I am the one who helps.)
I am going to go back to the start of the program like I said earlier and keep notes close by for reference.
Thanks for all you do, helping us all with ODD children/teens
I have a small company providing educational support services to a few families who have children with various disabilities in Ohio. One of the families has multiple adopted children of whom several have significant attachment disorders including RAD. As an experienced teacher and foster parent I have some experience in working with children who have extensive trauma backgrounds. However, I could use additional training. Also working with these children are two staff members with minimal background in attachment disorders who would also benefit from training primarily in behavior management. The primary caregiver to the children does a wonderful job managing their needs. In order to further develop team cohesion, I'm hoping to include her in any training as well.
Is it possible to schedule such a training session with you? If so, please let us know what will work for you including time, place, and cost. Thank you for your assistance.
I just listed to your tapes on dealing with an out of control, defiant teen. I'd like to ask your advice on a particular situation we have. Our 15 year old daughter is smoking pot almost every day at school. Because we had no way to control the situation, we told her, fine, go ahead and smoke weed. However, you will no longer receive the same support from us. You will not have your phone, lunch money to go off campus (she has an account at the school for the cafeteria she can use), and you will be grounded until you can pass a drug test. We will not be testing you except for when you tell us you are ready to be tested. She is now saying she's suicidal because she feels so isolated, yet she continues to smoke weed. In fact, she tried to sneak out last night but was foiled by our alarm system. For the particular drug test we have, I read it takes about 10 days of not smoking to pass the test. What would you do? Please advise.
I am having a problem with my 18 year old son, Danny, with high functioning autism. We finally had him diagnosed when he was 16 years old. I always knew something was going on with him but the doctors misdiagnosed him as bipolar. It's been 2 years now and he will not accept his diagnosis. He won't talk about it and when I try to bring it up he gets very angry. I've tried telling him that it's not a bad thing, that there's been many, many very successful people with Aspergers. He won't tell anyone and refuses to learn about managing life with it. He once shared with me that the other kids at school use it as an insult, like saying someone is so autistic when they do something they don't approve of. So he doesn't want anyone to know. He's turned down services that could help him. He has a girlfriend, going on 8 months. He won't tell her and they're having problems arguing a lot and I wonder if it would help for her to know.
I'm sad that he thinks it's a life sentence to something horrible instead of accepting, embracing it and learning about it more so he maybe can understand why he's struggling. I told him that he doesn't need to shout it out to the whole world but he won't even accept it himself.
I don't know how to help him with it and because he's almost 19 I have limited control now. It's made my life easier knowing what we're dealing with and I think his life would be easier is he accepted it.
Please help me help him.
I am a clinical psychologist in NYC who now has several (!!) children I see who have RAD. In 20 years of practice, I’d seen only one case. Now, I have at least three children with this. I have no training, per se, in working with this children though I know about setting structure, consistency, etc. I do a lot of work with parents about parenting. I work primarily within the school setting in a charter school whose mission is to educate children on the autism spectrum in a mainstream setting. We use Michelle Garcia Winner’s social thinking program with our ASD kids. I also work with gen ed kids in the school who are at-risk; the school is in the inner city from where the majority of our non-ASD kids live.
It would have been so much easier to mention to my adult son that I think (I know he does, but want to ease into the subject)
he has Asperger's when we were living together two years ago. He has since moved to Tennessee working in his field of interest
which is 3-D printing and software development. I am so happy for him that he has found his way into a job that he truly enjoys
even though he's socially isolated.
He's not diagnosed and does not know he has it. How I know is his classic symptoms being sensory issues (fabric feeling like sandpaper)
communication difficulties, meltdowns and much more. Throughout his childhood I just felt he was a bit different. Nothing major stood out and time
just passes, misdiagnosis of ADHD, low frustration, etc. We've talked about his ADHD numerous times (which I now know he doesn't have).
It's so much easier to communicate with him now that I know he has Asperger's. I keep it "slow and low" in talking, with long moments
of silence and then we connect. It's really too bad that Asperger's got a diagnostic code back in the 90's, yet all the so called doctors,
physiologist's, etc, didn't know how to diagnose it. Too bad.
There seems to be no one answer to "should I tell my adult son he has Asperger's" from a few specialists I asked. He is typical Asperger,
complicated, highly intelligent (high IQ), anxiety at times, socially isolated, hard to make friends. Not knowing how he will react is the hard part.
How will he be better off knowing he has it? Do I wait to tell him in person, or ease into it with him over Skype? He likes direct, honest, concrete communication.
Why is this so hard for me? Maybe because no one know's if he is going to be better off knowing or not. Do you know if people are better off
knowing? I try to get up the courage to just let him know, then I back down.
I have been searching the web looking for advice and came upon your site. I am trying to read blogs, websites, books, and articles to help guide me. I was so happy when you said that I could ask you a question. My husband and I are struggling with my 27 year old son who lives with us.
Kyle is the youngest of 4 sons. He is a college graduate but never could find the "right" job. He has always been quiet and never had a lot of friends. Two years ago, his girlfriend broke up with him. Kyle had an online gambling addiction and was using pot all the time. After the breakup, Kyle was very depressed and started using heroin and finally told my husband he was using. He is now seeing a psychiatrist who has him on suboxone and antidepressants. He is also seeing a psychologist weekly for counseling but it does not seem to be helping.
Last October,, Kyle lost his job, got drunk, and was agitated and came home , fighting with us, damaging our home and being verbally abusive. My other son , age 32, who also lives with us called the police and Kyle got arrested. He is currently in the family court system. He went through an anger management course and now is in substance abuse classes. Kyle continues to verbally abusive to me and blame me for everything. He says he "hates me "and calls me terrible names. At times, he pushes my husband and intimidates me. My husband and I are so upset. We just hired an attorney for him because since he has been going to these classes, he is getting more depressed and not getting better. Kyle continues to drink while taking his meds prescribed by the psychiatrist and then he has his "moods." My husband and I have met once with the psychiatrist just to give him background information when Kyle started with him.
At this point, we do not know what to do. We never thought at this stage of our life, we would be supporting and spending our retirement money on adult children. I do not know why Kyle hates me, I could not have been a better mom. My husband and I have no life and just do not know what it the right path we should take. Kyle does not want anything to do with us. He spends all his time in his room playing football online.We have tried tough love versus caring and love and understanding. Do you have any advice for me?
This whole ODD and ADHD is killing me as a parent. I work in the field of adult psych and addictions so I am well educated. I have been dealing with my teen being like this for almost 3 years and I totally lost my cool today with my 17-year-old son to the point I told him he is out of the house. He can never simple rules, comes and goes as he pleases sometimes doesn't come home, just recently back in school from several suspension for drug related... I am just so exhausted. He has made me hate life, hate being a parent and sometimes I just feel like not even being here. I bought your program in hopes to it would help, I am at week three and I feel things are getting worse... what am I doing wrong??
My partner hasn't been diagnosed yet but I know he has aspergers ..day to day is a struggle . I feel I'm going crazy with how he makes me feel.Feel let down constantly. He lies alot but I've been told they can't but I know he does.I just feel trapped and unloved.We have a 4yr old daughter together and my main worry with how he is that it will effect our daughter ; (his skills as a parent are so weak.He can't disapline at all.Feel so alone .he hides it well too.I just wondered if things will get worse? He's angry so quick in arguments.Scares me etc.I can't leave as he's the main bread winner and our daughter loves him to bits.Don't know why I'm writing this..Sorry if I'm going on and not making sense :(
I wanted to let you know about a research opportunity for children, teens, and young adults with autism. I am studying the effects of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and psychotherapy on helping people with autism develop subjective awareness of others.
I am writing you to see if this might help someone in your practice, or to see if you might know of someone with autism who may benefit from participating in this study. The requirements of the study will be:
1. A participant should be between 7-21 years of age and have a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder.
2. The participant should enroll in an approved Jiu Jitsu Academy and attend at least two sessions a week for a period of six months.
3. The participant should enroll in social skills groups, provided by my office or be in a steady psychotherapeutic relationship in your office, at least once a week, or minimally two to three times a month.
4. The participant will be given a SRS (Social Responsiveness Scale) test at the beginning of the study, at three months, and again at six months.
If you know of anyone who might benefit from this novel approach to helping to develop social awareness in autism, please do not hesitate to contact me for further information.
I have a 10 year old daughter who has outbursts with prolonged crying almost like tantrums that 2 year olds have when they cannot express themselves.
I had her in therapy from age 6-8 years old for the same thing but I feel that the sessions didn't really help much.
She has severe sensitivities to light, sound, vibration, frequencies which trigger irritability and crying.
We changed her diet and tried getting her involved with activities but she is anti-social and prefers reading than being social. She is terrified of change even in daily routine (even that will trigger prolonged crying).
It frustrates me because I don't know what else to do with her behavior.
I've tried acupuncture (she refused at the first session); she refuses massage too.
She is an honor-roll student at school and has very minimal issues at school but if she has had a bad day it does result in a tantrum or crying and defiance.
How can I get her tested for Asperger's Syndrome?
Last night our 24 year old son with Aspergers told his dad and I that he is pulling out of the 4 college classes that he recetnly enrolled in because he has not been attending class or turning in his assignments. He paid $2800 (his own money) for tuition and I reminded him of this when he told us but it did not seem to bother him.
This is the 3rd time he has started college courses and has not completed them. (He also took some concurrent college classes while he was in high school that he failed). This is a son who basically had a 4.0 grade point average through 10th grade and got a 34 on the ACT the first time he took it.
With the news that he was once again not sticking with college courses I did not sleep well. When I got up this mornning I began looking online for help in how to deal with his situation. I found your "Launching Adult Children With Aspergers" and purchased it. Most of what is included are things we have done or did with our son throughout his life. I was hoping for more help so I am emailing you now in hopes of more specific ideas.
We noticed some things with our son, Taylor, as a yound child but as we had not heard of Aspergers at that time we just did what we thought would help him. As a toddler and a child at pre-school he generally went off on his own to play. When I talked to his pre-school teacher about my concerns (that I was worried he would end up a hermit) she said she did not see him being a loner and that he seemed to interact fine with others in many situations. We worked with him on making eye contact when talking with others. We explained different emotions in people's faces and mannerisms to help him know how to interact with others. We discussed the fact that people would say things that did not mean what they souneded like - such as "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse". As we did these things he worked hard to better understand communication with others.
During his 4th grade year I had a teacher from the gifted program ask me if I had ever heard of Aspergers. I told her that I had not heard of it. She proceeded to read me some of the charateristics and so many of them described my son. So we had him tested by the school district during the summer between 4th and 5th grade and they did find that he had Aspergers but that he was high functioning. We then set him up with and EIP which stayed with him until his sophomore year. We pulled him from it at that time because we had moved and the new district was requiring him to take one class a day that was a study class. This reduced the number of required classes he could take and he was doing fine with his studies at the time.
It was during the 2nd half of his Junior year that we noticed some of his grades going down. Then during his Senior year is when he started skipping classes and not doing assignments. We had not realized it before then but we soon became aware that he was addicted to gaming. He would go to the library or somewhere else on campus and play games on the computer rather than go to class. It was also at this time that he began lying about his actions (so as not to get in trouble).
Based on his grades and his ACT score he received offers from colleges for full tuition scholarships. He chose the college where he had taken concurrent classes during his high school years. But he proceeded to skip class and not turn in assignments so he lost his scholarship and quit attending college. During this time he was only able to find employment through an employment agency where he was mostly sent to manuel labor type jobs (which is not something he enjoys but he did it anyway). It was during this time that at one place had gone to on numerous occasions he was told if he came late one more time they would tell the emplyment agency they did not want him to come there anymore. (This seemed to make an impression on him because he has continued to be reliable and responsbile at his places of employment).
At 19 1/2 he left to serve a 2 year full-time mission for our church. He completed his mission successfully. (I don't think it was without some struggle, stress and depression, but he was able to pick himself up and move on from those times).
When he came home he started working for the employment agency again but began looking for employment elsewhere. He got a job at a local Chick Fil-A where he has worked for 3 years. He started college again shortly after he came home but as before it was short lived. He did finish out the semester but failed most of the classes due to his skipping class and not turning in assignments. When he skipped class he would usually sleep in his car.
Taylor's life consists of working (where to the best of our knowledge) he does well, he is reliable and his employer likes him. When he comes home from work he either sleeps or plays video games or other games - such as kakuro. He spendes most of his time in the basement where his bedroom is and this is where he games. Taylor owns his own car, bought his own laptop and very rarely spends money. He pays us $200 /month to still live at home, unloads the dishwasher on a regular basis and does the weekly garbage. However, his room is a mess and he only cleans his bathroom when I tell him he needs to clean it.
Taylor used to read quite a bit and loved to learn. It has just been in his adult years that he has not read as much - I think because of his gaming addiction. Taylor goes to church on a regular basis but sleeps through the main meeting. In Sunday class room settings he stays awake - I think because he is able to particpate in discussions.
Taylor has only had 2 real friends since entering Junior High school. And as of now he only keeps in contact with one of them who still lives in Georgia. We have lived in Utah since the summer of 2007 and he has never had a friend to do things with since we have lived here. He has two younger siblings, a brother 22 and a sister 20. They love Taylor and spend time with him when they are home. They are both at college and doing well.
Throughout Taylor's school years he has seen a counsleor on a fairly regular basis. One summer during junior high he attended a weekly class where he interacted with other kids with Aspergers. We did see a lot of change in him from this group. After he returned from his mission he went to see a counselor for a short period - this counselor tried to help him with some social skills. His dad and I went with him the first 3 or 4 times but we found out that after we quit going with him he only went a few more times and then scheduled appointments but did not show a couple of the times. We only found this out when a bill came for a "no show" appointment.
I don't know if this is too much information but were are in dire need of help for him. In the information that we purchased from you you mentioned that you do coaching for Aspergers adults. I don't know if you can help us but I thought I would check with you just in case.
Alas I think I have found your information too late to save my marriage but I am hoping to save myself.
I am currently going through a very very painful separation after a 27 year relationship with my husband whom I am convinced has aspergers syndrome. It is a long and painful story and I am desperately trying to process it all alongside dealing with a very conflictual separation. My partner is angry non communicative and totally dismissive of me and our long shared history.
He walked out last year after I discovered he had been visiting massage parlours and developed a relationship with an illegal Chinese escourt whom he subsequently moved in with. He had been seeing this woman behind my back for over 18 months. The pain of all this indescribable and his dismissal of my pain and very existence beyond belief.
Leading up to this I had been battling anxiety and depression which my husband found very hard to cope with.
Over the years of our relationship I knew something was off but I just could not put my finger on it. I often felt a complete lack of validation and empathy. Communication was also difficult as my husband was defensive and unwilling to look at issues in our marriage.
Please Mark could you help me validate some of this pain and try and make dense of 27 years of my life without drowning in fear guilt and despair about my future.
Thank you for listening and your site.
I have had problems with drunkenness, being late for school, not handing in school work, buying pot from a dealer etc. I chose to focus on the drinking and did the grounding then (grounding happened 3 times). I also stopped sleep overs at friends 100%. I have stopped handing out money for no reason or even buying treats like chocolate.
I did lose it one evening (and didn't do the poker face) when I was trying to unplug the internet at midnight on a school night (she’s always late for school so I am trying to get her to sleep at a reasonable hour). I was physically stopped and pushed around so I slapped my daughter (it was not hard). This ended up with her saying she didn’t want to come home (the next day after school). By this stage, I also had enough and didn’t go get her. I thought I am not begging. You will run out of money soon. It was quite a relief to have some peace. Daughter’s Dad was in town (from another country) and called a family meeting with the counsellor. To cut a long story short, daughter and her counsellor put it on the table that daughter wants to go live somewhere else (with her friends family) because of the stress at home with me (we live on our own) (i.e. stricter rules and her bucking up against it).
I didn’t really want this but made a compromise that daughter would go there Tues morning – Friday afternoon as the friend is an A student whereas my daughter is failing. They do the same subjects. I made the decision at the end of the day based on what is good for me – some time away from the daughter. I also thought of your book when the child went to live with the grandparents – daughter will dig her own hole over at the friend’s house. They have a week day no going out policy which made me think it is OK. I went and discussed with them the problems experienced (drinking, pot, late nights, not handing in work)
I am also trying to follow the let go of school thing per your book. I find it really difficult to remain calm when I can see daughter on her phone and watching series (when I have her on the weekends) when I know there are projects due. I hired her a private tutor once a week for help with a subject. The tutor has just fired my daughter for not handing in work and being not committed. It’s not the first time private tutoring has not been appreciated. The school give me a report back on a Friday as to whether everything is handed in. The deal is – if the work is not handed in – no pocket money and no Friday night out). Her school is a "progressive" school and there are no repercussions for her being late or not handing in work. I would change schools if I could but there are only 8 months left of school (she turns 18 in August).
We have just completed the first week and beginning week two of your material. We are agreeing with your take and see our son and ourselves in most of what you are saying. Prior to finding your material and starting your program we had been having extreme out of control behaviors and had to call the police because he was breaking things in our house and pushed my husband. This happened three weeks ago. After that incident we took away privileges ie. PS4, phone (which had already been taken for a few days), and friends. So, last week while doing your program he already didn’t have privileges and has continued with poor behavior – name calling, throwing things, slamming doors. We are not sure when to give privileges back. He has been given the privilege of playing with friends on occasion. His 13th birthday is tomorrow. This past weekend, for his birthday my husband and he went boar hunting. Of course we debated about it but decided to go ahead since it was his bday. We are cooking some of the meet on the grill tomorrow night for his bday and inviting a couple of his friends over for a cookout. No more gifts other than cards and balloons. We are wondering if we should go ahead and give him his privileges back and not sure how to do it. Last Friday morning we attempted to talk giving him a date to return privileges and that conversation ended with him getting angry but he gathered from our conversation that he is getting his stuff back on his bday. We are starting week 2 assignments today but not sure how to handle what was already in place. Of course, we aren’t seeing the respect and responsibility we are looking for but realize it has been a long time. We were wanting him to pay for his phone and thought it might be a good time to introduce that idea. Allowing him to earn his phone. We expect that he will be angry with this idea and not sure how to implement.
My son and myself are interested in a inpatient Aspergers program. We line in Calif which is preferable. My son is very high functioning and was diagnosed dry late. He was eight years old. He has never been in or attended a full day of class. Partially due to depression,anxiety, and trouble with his ADHD also his aversion and being bullied and of course his Aspergers. He will not attend his freshmen year due to surgery on both Achilles' tendons from walking on his toes. With physical therapy he should be ready by his sophomore year! We all feel he needs in patient therapy to give him the tools on how to work with his issues in a structured setting and a place that will give him tools for the rest of his life.
In my utter desperation to find a way to get some help for my daughter's increasingly challenging behaviour I trawled the internet to see if I could find some strategies that would provide specific methods on dealing with teenagers with Asperger's syndrome. When I came across your website, I couldn't believe that every statement you made was exactly what I have been going through with my daughter. She has just turned 14 last week, and was diagnosed with Asperger's/ Autism Spectrum Disorder 15 months ago. I have already been seeing a child psychologist for the past five months, however the methods she has been advising have not been very effective.
Our main difficulty with our daughter is her overwhelming obsession to use her cell phone (and to a lesser extent her laptop) constantly. Without any restriction, she will be on it every minute of the day, and will be awake until the early hours every day. We have tried to incorporate her input around rules as to when she has to give in her phone, but she is unwilling to compromise on a time that she should give it to us, believing that she should have unlimited use. I believe she is unable to do any adequate study or homework, as she is constantly having to look at the phone. We have tried to put rules in place that she has to give in her phone and laptop on school nights at 22:15. If she is able to do this then she is given rewards, and if she doesn't then she knows that there will be consequences. The consequence has been restricted use the following day. However, this is usually where we fail, because taking her phone away from her results in tantrums, screaming, and even threatening to harm herself. This behaviour is relentless to the point where the whole family becomes deeply distressed, and inevitably results in her getting the phone back.
This obsession is affecting her schoolwork, and more severely her eyesight. She has become very shortsighted, and her eyesight continues to deteriorate as a result of holding the phone or laptop very close, and mostly in the dark without any lights on. My husband and I have a constant battle on our hands daily, in all areas of discipline with our daughter, but our main concern is that we have been unable to find a way to minimise this obsessive behaviour centred around her phone and laptop. Please can you provide some strategies that can help us specifically with this problem.
First of all, I thank you for developing this program and I am only at the first stage of assignment 1. I have loads of books I have bought, attended psychiatrists for my son and myself, family therapy, occupational therapy, begged and prayed for change but have been dealing with behavioural issues for so long I am definitely exhausted and resentful.
I am a mum to a 15 yr old boy with ASD, dyslexia, OCD and ODD. Sorry to focus on the labels but just to give you an idea of what I am dealing with. I also have a 13 yr old son whom finds his brother’s behaviours difficult, embarassing and challenging. My husband whom is not in great health ( he had a cerebral aneurysm clamped two years ago and has two further aneurysms that are inoperable so endures fatigue, headaches and stress). We have however a pet cat that is very social and a calming influence in the home! I was fortunate enough to have loving parents but I lost both my mum and dad in 2008 and 2015. My inlaws are elderly and quite directly say they are too old to help us so it feels we are alone in dealing with the issues we have.
I am desperate for change as the household is one of stress and anger and I feel all the control lies in my son Patrick’s hands. I am hopeful your programme can make life better for all of us but I wonder if it is too early to ask you two questions?
The first lies with what to do when Patrick goes into my other son Brendan’s room and will either turn on a light when he is sleeping, yell when he is on his phone or create some disturbance. He will not leave the room when asked to do so and the situation always escalates into yelling and Brendan attempting to physically remove him. This happens regularly and always ends badly with doors slamming, my husband being woken and myself in tears feeling the lack of control and also I admit I seem to think “Why me?” which rationally I know is of no help.
The second problem is leaving the house for school. Patrick refuses personal hygiene (either morning or night) and any request to even brush his teeth is fraught with swearing and abuse. If I can get him to shower, he will watch the water roll down the drain and turn up the water really high temp (mu husband has had to turn down the thermostat on the hot water service) without so much as getting wet. My husband leaves for work at 6am but I leave at 745 to work as a nurse in a busy outpatients department in the Alfred Hospital (Melbourne). My work is my sanity as it is a paid break from home but most days I am late which is causing considerable stress and anxiety not to mention my responsibility to do my job. Patrick simply refuses to leave the house and as much as I am tempted to just walk out and leave I know the house would be left unlocked and wonder if Patrick would even attend school. The time I need to leave is not negotiable but Patrick uses this to his advantage and seems to delight in stressing me out and subsequently speeding to work in a frazzled mess.
The interesting and frustrating element in all of this is that although he is socially isolated at school (he has no friends) and academically challenged his behaviour at school is not a problem. He is quiet and his teachers report he does his best and is compliant and well mannered. It is like a Jekyll and Hyde situation where another side of him at home is so angry and abusive yet at school this behaviour does not happen.
I’m Jackie, I now work primarily as a freelance tech writer, after starting my career in software development and moving on to teach IT to young adults at a variety of colleges and schools.
My freelance work is pretty varied and looks at many aspects of the computer industry as a whole, and I’ve just recently completed a piece which gives help and advice to anyone wanting to become a game designer, which you can read here: http://www.gamedesigning.org/become-a-game-designer/. It highlights the hard work and effort it takes to get into such a role, and also how you can further your career and continue to learn and improve as you go. I hope you’ll agree it shows that starting work in the industry takes dedication and skill and that becoming a game designer isn’t just a fly-by-night job!
If you’d be interested in sharing a quick mention of my work on your blog that would be really wonderful and I’d appreciate the chance to get my work out there to a wider audience. Alternatively, I’d be happy to write a short blurb or paragraph or two (or a longer piece - just let me know) highlighting the key points because I think some of your readers might get a lot of value from it.
My son just turned 15 and is a freshman in high school. Although this is his first year in a general ed environment, he is struggling with behaviors in school. He has meltdowns and does not express why he would have them until much later. Once we all know what caused it, the school will accommodate him and try to "change up" things so as not to cause his meltdown. Once that is resolved, another issue comes up and causes him to melt down. He is a high functioning and academically does well, when he wants to do the work. We battle at home over homework. He does not care how it is done, as long as he hands it in. He thinks failing a test is ok, at least he took the test. Homework is never on his mind when he gets home from school. If I never prompt him, he would never open is backpack. He can be aggressive but is never intentionally trying to hurt anyone. He may push over a chair in school, but it is not directed at anyone. We know how that in itself could hurt someone who gets hit by it though. He is defiant in that he only wants to do what interests him. He does not go out by himself (still immature), or abuse alcohol or drugs and never curses. He is a very funny kid and very talented. His main problems are task avoidance and seeking attention. He can be disrespectful to adults in that he is "cheeky" with them, trying to be funny or cute. And he has no "filters".
I’ve just finished reading your Living with an Aspergers Partner ebook. I found it so informative, thank you.
You offered some personal advise, and i wanted to run a situation past you and seek your input as to a strategy for what to do next.
I’ve been seeing a guy for about 7 months now who I believe has Aspergers. I came to this conclusion months ago and I don’t think he realizes, (or acknowledges) although he is aware he has some traits.
He’s highly intelligent and successful, a pattern seeker, has a tendency to focus on the project to hand to the total exclusion of all else for as long sit takes (work or home) socially awkward (has learned coping strategies), sensitive to loud noise, high anxiety with control strategies, black and white thinking etc. He’s currently not working and I’ve seen a slow withdrawal over the last 6 weeks, including the need to ‘escape’ and leave a situation at least once.
He also has a bipolar ex overseas who has primary custody one daughter where there has been ongoing patterns of drama which has recently increased.
Over the past couple of months (since stopping work and drama increase) I’ve gone from being ‘wonderful’ in his eyes to him now being sorry and not having the ‘urge’ to spend close/intimate time with me and offering friendship. Since he shared that with me in a message he’s stonewalled and has retreated to the safety of minimal messages and talks about not knowing what best to say and not being able to find the right words somehow.
He’s a good kind man who I feel is struggling. I’m concerned about his anxiety and possibly the risk of depression. I’m fairly resilient and whilst i’m disappointed he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with me, i’m concerned for him and his well being. One of his very few close friends is also just leaving the country to live overseas.
The strategy I’ve used so far is simply to back off and give him space. I’ve asked to take him up on an original offer he made to talk but haven’t pushed it. I also haven’t been aggressive or accusatory in the few messages i’ve sent.
Any advise you could give would be greatly appreciated,
Carli who is 10 years old and has had behavioral issues her whole life. The other night she came home very upset after having a conflict with a friend. She was at her friend's house and her and her friend wanted to get on the computer and the older sister was using it. Carli made up a story that someone was at the door to get the older sister off the computer. Her friend didn't understand that she was making up a story to get the sister off the computer. She got excited that someone was at the door and ran downstairs to answer the door. In the process of getting the door, she fell and yelled at Carli. Carli became extremely upset. She was able to control her feelings at her friend's house, but when she came home, she proceeded to cry extremely loudly for over an hour. Her dad spent most of that time with her, talking to her and trying to calm her down. After an hour, I asked him if he could please tell her to be more quiet because the other members of the household were trying to go to sleep.
My question is....how do I as the girlfriend, handle this? He did not like that I asked her to be quiet. We have a rule that if she is having bad behavior, and can't calm down in 5 minutes, he takes her out of the house because her yelling doesn't stop for a long time and is very upsetting to everyone in the household. I would like to ask him to do this with this kind of situation as well. Is this a reasonable request? His thought was that she shouldn't be made to calm down, because everyone handles being upset in a different way. But, she was literally sobbing and wailing very loudly.
My other question is should she have been told that if she wouldn't have lied, this wouldn't have happened? She has a history of lying and of not accepting responsibility for her actions. My boyfriend became very upset with me when I brought this up. He was being very sympathetic and understanding to her. I feel like he was giving her negative attention, and being an over indulgent parent by not putting his foot gown and saying, "you can't carry on like this, even though you are upset". Please let me know how we can handle these situations better.
I am contacting you for help with adult AS. I am taking initiative to pre screen potential therapists to help my current boyfriend get therapy and help with Adult AS.
He has seen many therapists, but it seems like they aren’t really helping him with his problems. They don’t seem to understand how his (undiagnosed) AS would affect therapy approaches. For example, he may not share enough in therapy session and I’m assuming an AS therapist would recognize that is part of the AS and employ strategies to get information from him that helps with treatment. Sometime he tunes out when he is processing something heavy or that he doesn’t want to hear necessarily, or he gets distracted and I’m hoping an As therapist would recognize that and get that he may need repeated something for example, if this is happening.
He is currently suffering from depression that appears clinical in nature as well as reoccurring negative thoughts about something specific that has been worrying him about our relationship. Today he told me these reoccurring thoughts happen during all waking hours unless he watches TV, he never gets a break from them and they make him feel like he is going crazy. As his girlfriend, I am extremely concerned that he cannot get relief from these thoughts and that the therapists he is seeing are unable to help him with his problems. Therefore, I am taking initiative to try and help him find better therapy options, because I want to see him someone who can better help him get to the bottom of things and help him with the challenges he is facing. He really needs an advocate that will help him go deep to figure things out and not just assume therapies are working well, without seeing changes or getting supporting feedback from him in that regard.
Here are some questions I am trying to ask in advance to find the right people to help us with this. As you may know, insurance for these therapies are not often available. We don’t have a lot of money to go from therapist to therapist to find the right person and are hoping prescreening will help.
I recently downloaded your e-book and listened to your talks and your information is by far the most helpful I have been able to find to date. It's very accurately describes my situation as an NT wife married to a very probable AS husband. I think you for taking the time to write this and sharing your insights as well as the experiences of many of your clients. It has really helped me understand the last 32 years of our marriage and get a grasp on how to move forward.
One area that is of primary concern to me, that I did not see addressed, is stimming. I believe that is the behavior my husband is showing through constant vocal singing, repetition of words, shouting out, as well as slapping himself in the chest and general nervous activity. It is very loud and disruptive to our household and it is often a relief when he is not at home. I think there may be a level of Tourette's syndrome as well.
I did some searches on the Internet and could not find anything that really describes his behavior. Most of what I found was flapping or children's behavior. I understand that it is a release of nervous tension but I am really trying to find some strategies to help him stop this behavior as it is extremely frustrating and builds my resentment in dealing with it daily. A lot of it is embarrassing as well and sounds childish to me.
He usually does this when close family members are around and will reign himself in if he is around other people besides us. When we are home it is constant. He also has a lot of anger, mostly at himself, and blows up at unimportant things, it is as if he has a ton of negative energy inside him that need to get out and stimming is one outlet.
I will try to build my acceptance of it, but I also would just like him to stop especially the loudest and most annoying portions. Would you have any resources you could point me to?

Answer: Because his roommate smokes.