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ingo","handwritten","flashed"],["attending","nightclub","frankfurt","Participants"],["manuscript","isbn","grabbed","Keyword"],["methodology","Inquiry","simplest","Vocabulary"],["Nearby","hallway","chairs","Presenter"],["Names","intellectuals","spokesperson","convened"],["seated","domingo","Cbd","Dining"],["bookstore","reviewed","isbn","requested"],["Alumni","longstanding","years","lasted"],["weekday","Expenses","domingo","reimburse"],["didnt","Pickup","restroom","downtown"],["Moines","hurry","subway","banquet"],["Tickets","Signup","upcoming","Appointment"],["hassle","plagued","Officials","Caught"],["snack","Beverage","caffeine","tbsp"],["cafeteria","grabs","Stops","shootout"],["huh","Something","Identifier","Dhabi"],["highways","kinda","Jazeera","Yeah"],["terrified","Tears","agony","meltdown"],["nanny","parenting","Predictor","Moines"],["spouses","hometown","ceremonies","cousins"],["sensation","analyzer","filmed","Yourself"],["youre","misunderstand","Checklist","Trying"],["inhibitors","ctrl","repetitive","Basically"],["Hmm","why","analyzer","wondering"],["Maybe","huh","Manafort","unsure"],["meanings","unprecedented","saying","finalized"],["paso","solve","youre","hurting"],["infertility","Why","doubts","unanswered"],["mortality","deadliest","occurring","deceased"],["hobbies","Interested","Enemies","happiest"],["scholarships","studios","Colleges","Cannot"],["Species","civilizations","Essays","genomes"],["youre","Talking","Topics","conversations"],["screenplay","Processes","methodologies","kinda"],["summarized","wording","anew","clarified"],["Exists","wanting","sensed","fading"],["barcelona","enjoyed","Visit","camping"],["neurons","Lots","arrays","Adapter"],["toy","toys","dolls","pouch"],["Undo","hardness","peso","drawers"],["Cortex","neurons","interconnected","specialised"],["sexes","Relationship","pairs","respective"],["analogy","poetic","richness","nutshell"],["misunderstand","yourselves","shitty","Arguments"],["sensations","Suggestions","Dhabi","rhythms"],["enquiries","Why","whats","Dhabi"],["width","furniture","Width","adjacent"],["loneliness","Feeling","uneasy","solitude"],["recalling","happening","unresolved","shorthand"],["brightness","hues","uranus","blanco"],["sorrow","loneliness","milano","Unable"],["sunrise","domingo","Sparse","cloudy"],["Blowjob","Relationship","elle","colleague"],["mortality","deadliest","Losing","vulnerabilities"],["barcelona","labyrinth","Explanation","Unable"],["illness","invariant","Symptoms","phenomena"],["arising","imprisonment","Cbd","encountered"],["interpretations","abnormalities","themselves","Supporters"],["atrocities","Often","disturbances","injustice"],["consequences","decisions","unfavorable","unavoidable"],["desperation","Holdings","Arguments","homelessness"],["distinctions","morality","wrongdoing","Definitions"],["Sort","essence","genus","abbreviation"],["distinctions","mechanisms","Species","methodologies"],["societies","possibility","tyranny","sovereignty"],["Traits","mediocre","nacional","temperament"],["accomplishments","coursework","Counseling","Traits"],["sidewalk","pedestrians","Moines","Entrance"],["civilization","Critics","twilight","Moines"],["betrayed","scandal","padre","Hentai"],["Specialists","evenings","youre","busiest"],["Dining","whiskey","walmart","meetup"],["mascot","blanco","sunglasses","jacket"],["Neighborhood","kidnapped","farmhouse","naughty"],["gia","reunion","Moines","upcoming"],["elle","hugged","Blowjob","Winners"],["sleepy","Shutdown","domingo","insomnia"],["humanoid","lange","striped","feathers"],["cartoon","png","strange","sprite"],["brightness","Nearby","illuminated","luz"],["Stops","chaotic","seq","twists"],["Childhood","domingo","youngest","infancy"],["brightness","uranus","sunrise","Lots"],["brightness","imagery","sunset","uranus"],["Width","cylindrical","fluorescent","Accessed"],["Eating","snacks","postpone","thirsty"],["picnic","sauna","domingo","Outdoor"],["cafeteria","upstairs","Sitting","hugged"],["offences","risks","vulnerabilities","youngsters"],["groceries","Parking","salle","pantry"],["methodologies","Necessary","partnerships","cio"],["drafting","coursework","deadlines","Restart"],["discomfort","Moines","Symptoms","sleepy"],["internship","Semester","yay","thrilled"],["happiest","Programmer","yay","ohio"],["pioneered","memoir","decades","nacional"],["scholarships","Choices","tragedies","educators"],["elle","hospitalized","pediatric","Syndrome"],["gotta","Moines","Busy","Trying"],["calculator","Arithmetic","quadrant","crossword"],["Hmm","memoir","clarify","nominations"],["yeah","thing","isp","identifier"],["dude","Coupe","nacional","garage"],["nacional","politicians","doesnt","ain"],["billionaires","Countries","nacional","impoverished"],["Republicans","nacional","Versions","wartime"],["nacional","unconstitutional","endanger","Would"],["nations","policymakers","prosperity","nacional"],["democracy","nations","unparalleled","Restore"],["Countries","telecommunications","barcelona","laboratories"],["ourselves","similarities","meth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And it's important that I try to r","it's that one's about to take a big step in their development, and that step is going to be a big one, a really big one. So they're not going to be ab","and you know I'm kind of obsessed by the fact that when you're having a dream you can't control the outcome of what you dream. It's so easy to control","it's a very special relationship I've got with this person, and I think if it wasn't, I probably wouldn't be going through with it. I think it's reall","you don't know that. If you did know that, you would say so. You don't even know what the word 'knowledge' is. If you knew what it meant you wouldn't ","the teacher, who I've worked with for many years, was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and he's had it for a number of years. And that's been real","I've had a lot of difficulty getting people to think about it. And you know what I mean, in a clinical situation, like, 'OK, I've got a patient who is","I was thinking that it might be that people who don't have any illness would be more likely to have an immune system that's just too strong. And I was","I have a feeling that I'm not doing right by my children, my daughter and my son, as far as I'm concerned. And it's a real source of worry for me. Tha","you know I'm worried about this whole thing. I mean, if I'm going to have to move away from my family, from my friends, from my work, and go off to an","this is very important, I want to be a better person, but it is so hard to be a good person. I just want to be my own person, be who I want to be.","I am a scientist and I was in the middle of my career...I don't think that's what it is about. It is about my career, because I am an artist. I am a","I see a young guy with a big black hat on his head and a big black cape on him. And I think it's very striking, I mean it's like a superhero, but he's","we were talking about the big picture of all life. Like if we were to be able to see it from outer space, and just look at it from a great distance, w","we could have this...oh, this is good...we could have it be like a game of poker...oh, that's right. We could have this. We could be playing a game of","and I think that you could be like, you could be a rock star and you would have been a rock star but you wouldn't have had a career as a rock star bec","and I know that...that they...that they don't need that, but...they do...they have their...their own...their own life, and...and...and...I think...","and this is all about a world of ideas. This is where they all come from. When you look at the world in its totality and see what the world is about, ","there are some things, and these things, I don't know how they would have been different. They're like the past. There's a past of course, but they're","I'm going to sleep here and I'm going to wake up, and I'm just going to say I'm going to go through this with a grain of salt. I mean, I'm going","I'm worried about that guy, I can't help it. He's a great guy, I just can't help thinking about it. If he was there, I would love him, I would","what we do here in the laboratory, it's all so important to the world, and I think that's why I get so worked up about it, because the work that we're","and I think that's what a lot of the, what's the other word you call it? ...anxiety? ...I've got it backwards. I should be worried about my friends, y","a little while ago, I was watching the sun come up, and there's this incredible feeling of light coming up to meet you, like you're in a tunnel or som","all kinds of things, you know, a lot of things that I don't know, a lot that I don't understand, the same things over and over again that I've always ","you know, I mean, it's like, there's this whole thing going on all around you and you can't quite be present in it, you know? I mean, I know that that","I've been having a conversation with someone, and I can't remember who they were talking to. I have this feeling that they're not talking to me at all","I am getting old and I am dying and I am getting old. I know that is true because I can't get out of bed, my back hurts, my neck hurts, my legs hurt,","I'm trying to remember... [she looks around the room] ...I have a brother and two sisters. They're all in the military. All my aunts have died, they a","And he's right there with you. That's the point. He's right there. He's the person. He's not some...you know, this person. He is. And he's","that's a very interesting question. You know, you know, we can all be our own worst enemy. You know we can get so caught up in the things that we thin","I know that I'm going to have to put myself in the position where I will be forced to make the decisions. Because I will always know that my parents a","you know, I'm worried about the children, how to keep them safe, and at the same time make sure they can still get a proper education... I mean, I can","I think I've been thinking about it, about what is it that you want me to say? You know, I think it's pretty simple. I think that you, the only way yo","so I'm wondering why my parents don't like it? My parents have never been that concerned with my friends or my hobbies, but suddenly, now that I have ","that's the reason they call it a war, because it's a war for the planet. So the planet has to fight for its own life. It has to be like a human, has t","so I just keep on saying things like 'God, why would you do this to me?' and it's kind of an irrational, emotional question because it's not like I'm ","but this is a terrible time because you're at a party and you know that you are going to have a lot of drinks, and you don't know if you're going to b","and I know I could never have done anything like that. If I had been the person to do that to a woman I would never have lived. I don't want to live. ","and I have the same experience. I have the experience of being there. But I cannot say to you that I have experienced the same thing as you did. Becau","and so you'd get on the train and you'd be able to be on the train for a week, and not really know where you were going, and you'd get off at a differ","I can't believe that's what happened. I just can't believe it, no, it's unbelievable. I can't believe I had a relationship like that, that's like, it'","I'm going to give up. I'm going to get a new job, I'm going to leave this whole place and go to another state and live somewhere else and get away fro","a lot of people. A lot of people are just going to die. Like I said, I'm not going to die, I'm going to be fine. I'll be fine. But I","so I'm in a way, you know, I'm on the side of the victims in all of this, you know? I'm not on the side that would want to make someone a murderer","I feel I've been here a long time. And I'm still not happy. And I guess that's where the anger is. And I don't know what's wrong with me. I have","a guy has to get over it, and he has to get a girlfriend. Because a guy with no girlfriend, he's always thinking about it, and then it's got to be a p","I'm going to be a new person... I'm going to make a new life for myself. I don't have a family anymore. I can make a new family, and I can make friend","I think that the truth is out there, so we got to go and find it. ... It's a good thing for us to go out there and get some more space. ... I have no","the way I see it, we should have a little more understanding of the fact that the Earth is a sphere and not flat. They have been going around in circl","well, I was looking for my camera, and I thought, 'I really want this camera; I want to have this camera, but I don't have the money to buy it.' So,","I'm in a lot of trouble right now. My wife's really mad at me and I'm thinking about how to talk to her about the car. She hates when I go to these fa","you know how that feeling is, you know that feeling you have that you're doing the right thing, that you're in the right place, you know how that feel","it's like we have to go through this every time. Every time we get married, we get this divorce thing. And so we have to get married again. And the wh","And then that's why, I know I'm gonna get into trouble for that, but it's not like I'm gonna do it, it's just I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna","I'm thinking about a time in the past, maybe, or just thinking about the past. And I'm thinking how I, how I feel when I'm like this. This is probably","I'm talking to myself. I can't do it. It's like, I'm talking to someone else. I can see this person and I'm talking, but it doesn't seem real.","I'm going to be sick, I can't go on... I want to be a girl. I want to sit down and write and think and draw. I want that for my life. I","a thought that keeps coming up is that I need to write a book. It's been nagging me for years, but I haven't done it. Maybe it's the same with these e","so we'll put it in a little box and throw it away because I really want to go to college...but I just don't feel that I'm good enough. I'm not that sm","you can't do that to people, you know. I just don't think people should be able to do that to you and not have any punishment or anything. Because if ","and I am sitting in my study room, and I am looking at my phone, and I just saw this man, I think it's the man, but I don't think it is the same","I remember once I was a teenager, I was a teenage girl, and I was dating this one guy, and he would go to my house and he would stay there for a while","I remember that I was a child once. And then I grew up, and I became a teenager, and then a young adult. And now I'm an adult. And I'm older than the","and I'm kind of a funny person because I have a tendency to like to joke a little bit. Like, I don't really have any real life. I mean, I have my own ","I feel like I'm looking for the perfect thing but it doesn't exist. And I wish I would have had better taste...like with clothes and everything. And t","there are people who have different goals, and I think I have some goals, too, I mean, I know what I want and I know what it means, and I don't really","I want to think of all the people that I've ever helped, the things that I've done to help people that I never knew existed, and the things that peopl","there are these guys, they're kind of like my teachers and people who are in my life who I really love, I really respect. And they are these guys who ","I just like to listen to music. I don't think I've ever thought about what music means, except for a very brief period, and that was when I was in col","you're always so careful and careful with your words. That's kind of what I love about you. The way you say things. It's like you're always being thou","and it is interesting to me that you see, like, you know, this person is talking to you. And like, I guess it's something that's not even, like, it's ","I know what you're going to say, but I'll just say this to you, it's really the only way I can say it to you and I've said it to myself. I've","this is where we started...with my aunt, she was on the phone, I remember, and I remember the words she said, and I can remember the words I said, and","and there's the one that was talking to me yesterday. And I'll give you a couple of names here. She's like, 'I just feel so, so lost, so alone, like","I'm going to have a baby. And it's going to be a boy. And I'm going to call it Frank. I was wondering, was there a reason why I thought of the name","and we did see the birds, because they are just down the road from us, so we saw them in the morning, but, it was cloudy, so the light was cloudy, and","this is interesting...it's the only time I'm sitting here...it's like a meditation, but...a meditation would be very quiet, and this is very quiet...b","we're going to talk about the tree and the elephant...I wonder where they're going? I'm going to go back to the elephant and the tree... I'm going bac","I think there are many ways to say 'I love you.' You have to say it and hear it. 'I love you' can be very simple and not too strong. That's all there","And, we're sitting in here, and we're thinking that's it. There's nothing more we can do. The train's on time. It's coming in. We're going to catch","I'm sitting in this chair, I'm looking at this room, I'm thinking about the things I have to do. I have to get ready for this interview. I'm supposed ","I don't know how it's going to happen, but it's going to be a lot more fun than it's going to appear. It's going to feel really good. I'm going to","I've done all the research in the world about how to work out. I've read all the books on how to work it out. And I've done all that research. And I'm","And it was about my father, and it was just this story about the, this story about my father that I was telling my children. And I said, and then I wa","it's not that the economy is bad, it's that you have a bad economy...the thing is, I've never been in this position before. I've been in this situatio","my daughter, she was really good about being out of town with her mom and dad, and then coming back to her mom and the family, and then we all moved i","I remember, I remember the time that I was a college student and I went to Washington DC for a semester, and I spent time at the Kennedy Library there","and it's like a giant computer. So it's like we've got a computer, and we're using it and we don't really have much understanding of how it works. So ","we're not supposed to talk about it, you know, but, but... and you're right, if it's in a sense, I'm not sure what the sense is of being able to","and this is the big problem in my life is that I have to work, you know, a lot and I just don't have that much time for my kids. You know, I have to","I see this guy, he's got a white shirt and jeans, he's driving a car with a white van trailer on the back, he's probably got a truck or van or somethi","it's pretty cool, I don't think it was...I think I might have been out there before, you know what I mean?...it was about a year, like 198","It's like having a voice inside your head. So you have this voice that's like a friend and like an enemy, but it's always there. Sometimes you're like","[a]ll of these things have gone together at the same time. I've always believed in my head that there was some sort of a connection between the things","there's a lot of things that I want to do that I haven't done yet. There are lots of things in the world. You know, I've got lots of stuff. I mean,","and then I've been thinking that you know, this is a lot of stuff that's in my head, and I can't remember any of it, it's just kind of there, and I","[I'm] thinking about the last time I saw my brother... I don't remember all of the things, but I remember there's a couple of things I do remember. ..","you know what they say, though, right? 'it's the best laid plans that go wrong'. ... and there's a lot that goes wrong, you know, so you can't do anyt","I've been thinking about this. It's a little bit like you know, in the sense that it's like you know a story, a little bit, because the people in your","I was watching a documentary on the TV about how a boy in the war who had been in the army. He had been shot at a lot. And they had all these men. The","I'd just get to thinking about this, and I'd think that they don't give a damn. And I'd just get real discouraged, because it would be like, they don'","it's a very strange thing, the way you get used to living in a world that is just a little bit different from what it was before, because you have to ","what's this, uh, I don't know, it's like the other side of the river... so, so it's like, it's sort of like the other place. And, it","I think the whole reason why I'm still single is that I don't want to get married, and I think it's really not good to get married. I mean, I've known","I don't have a lot of time for that sort of thing. I'm a pretty simple guy, if I'm honest. But, you know, I don't see the point of all that","this is a lot like what you might do when you are trying to work out what you want to say next, in conversation. And it's a lot like it is when you're","[I'm] remembering a movie I saw when I was in junior high school or high school... where a guy was trapped in the ocean... and there was an ice floe w","we are in a place that's not so familiar. It's like an empty hall. There are some people sitting here, I don't know why. There is a small door and I'm","and a person who's not feeling well has to go to the doctor and when you go to the doctor he says you need an MRI. And it's not necessarily that the p","and then the whole thing would have been in the hands of the doctors, and then if they had done something to him, they wouldn't have known if he'd don","this is like a story, like a dream, like a story in my head, something's wrong with my head... something's wrong. I can't think, I'm not thinking. Som","I feel like the world has taken me by surprise. It's as if the world is making this, and I'm in a way a puppet in a play...I think of it as like a","I think the brain is a kind of machine, a machine with a limited ability, that it's like the ability of the machine is limited, in the sense that, it'","I wonder what it's like to be in somebody else's body, to be in their perspective. It's really weird for me to think about that because my perspective","I wonder what it's like to be dead? It's like I've got this idea that my mind is being sucked out of my body. So what would be the mind look like? If ","this is the moment where we make an actual physical jump...in the real world, we're jumping across a wide river or a long valley. What if we can actua","I was in a desert in the middle of the day and it was hot and there was no shade, so I was walking and there was a cloud of dust around me and I saw a","I know you can't see me, but I am here and I am thinking. I can tell you that I am thinking because I can see that I am doing something. I'm thinking ","what a mess! What a mess. It's the way things are in my head. There are so many things, so many thoughts. There are thousands of things going on. Ever","you know the reason I want to talk about it is because the subject matter is so wide, it's almost infinite in the amount of things that you can talk a","and then the question is what kind of light to use, is the light on the side of the screen, or is the light on the inside? It seems that there's a lot","(silence) I'm feeling it's a little like what it is to be in a dream... it's kind of like... it's like being in a dream. When I dream, I","and I was thinking about how people, as they get older and they have children, they start to think about how their children are going to live, and the","the baby is crying. And I'm really sorry I can't be there right now. I am so sorry, you know? I can't imagine a parent who wouldn't want to be there f","and then I thought of something that I really, really, really wanted to do... and I thought it was going to be really easy... and then I realized that","and it's not so hard to explain. I've been through this with a lot of people, a lot of women, and they've all got a different experience of it. My mom","I was watching a TV show about a girl who's supposed to be a witch, who's going to be a vampire. There's this little boy. He's about 13, and he","and you know you know that's true, and you know I'm just a good person, and you can tell, I think that's one of the things, I can tell, but I have","we were in a field, and it was a really windy day, and we were in this field with a bunch of kids, and it was really windy, and we were just playing a","and it's like that you have to do this and I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not because you know, I don't know why I'm doing this thi","I know that the whole thing about the death of people and all that is nothing but a thought, and it's always going to be a thought, a thought in my he","It's hard for me to know what you really think. When I speak to you I think, 'what am I thinking right now?'... I try to think what you think, but it'","I was thinking about how a woman is very special because of the fact that she has the baby and the children. A man is special in that he gives support","I had this really vivid dream last night that I was in an old house... There were these women... they were in this really dark area... like the corner","the child who is sitting on the ground, looking up and saying, 'Mommy, why is the sky blue? Why is the sky like that? Why is it so big, and why is","a little girl, little girl, 9 years old. It's in the back yard, and it's a tree. And she's on it, and it is a tree. It is a","I think I have a problem here. I think I'm supposed to get an answer to this problem, but I don't think I've got any. I think maybe if I draw a little","I am thinking about all of those things. I know that I am not supposed to think about them. I am thinking about how I can get my parents out of their ","so... and then there was a guy... he had a wife... and he was... I can't remember who... I think he was like my friend's... no, not my friend's,","we should start the whole thing over, with a new name, a new, completely different name, for this thing, like a whole different, new, whole different ","a big truck, a big white truck, coming down the road, a big, big white truck with a huge load on its back. It's coming down the highway and it's gonna","it's not just you and I, it's you and I and the little black dog that's looking at us, and then it's you, and the little dog, and the man, and","I want to talk about how my mind works and the way I think. I'm going to have a lot to say, but I want you to know that I'm not going to be judging yo","and this is the guy that's been on the phone all day long. And he says, you know, 'Hey, what's your name?' And I'm saying, 'Yeah, my name","And we had a great meeting. It was great. It was a great meeting, but I don't know, I have a lot on my mind about it, but we have a great meeting and","and that's how I got a chance to get away, you know, to have a chance to see the world, because they sent me down to the Peace Corps to work in a plac","[I'm] a writer, I used to write a lot. I'm retired, I was retired from a company that had a very nice program for training writers. I'm not a writer a","I was thinking about the fact that when I started on my master's, I had a little bit of a problem. My program was really a full-time program, and it w","I know that if we have a computer, we can make a database. We can have a database of the various diseases and what people with those diseases are look","I just spent two hours in the back room in here, looking at a book that's not all that useful. It's a book of, I don't know, some kind of a mechanical","I was walking down this street and I thought to myself that if you want to get into the middle of a story, if you're reading the book and you have a q","I don't think that would make any difference... but it could, you know, it could make a difference, the other way. I mean, I can't remember. I don't r","and this is just like when I first started teaching and I was teaching in the elementary school. You know, this is just a small little class in the el","I think it was when I was a little girl, maybe in the fourth grade. I was sitting at my desk, and I was getting ready to do my homework. I was looking","[The participant] was describing his experience of being at a party. He was thinking about going to a party. And he's thinking that maybe he's going t","I was trying to get a copy of this book here in my head, and I'm not sure why but I couldn't get it. But I did get this idea for a story. It's","I want to start with a question. What is the best way to learn the French language? That's it. I know this is going to take a while. The other thing, ","so we're back in this room, and there's some other people around, and there are some other tables, and I'm just sitting there. And I'm looking around,","and now I think of a group of people, they were talking about a person, a man, they were looking for a way to describe him. And he was very serious, a","I was at home today. I had just finished work. I was going to be home for an hour. I was sitting in the living room, sitting at the table. I was looki","a couple of days ago, I was thinking about the two books that we had in our bag that I wanted to check out at the library, but we didn't have them, so","the number of years I've been here at the University. That was a little more than six, seven years, but I think it was six years. I don't really think","I just realized that I don't have to pay the utility bills until January, so I'll have a little more time to think about it. It was a nice day today, ","I was going to be home and I went down to the store and I had some stuff I wanted to do and I was going to stay in the car. And then I had to come in ","we'll be late if we don't hurry and get on the train. And I want to go to a very good restaurant. We go to the restaurant and there's a line out the d","I can't wait for my birthday, which is next Friday. I need to call and see what I can do to get in to go to the wedding. And I will have to buy a dres","the whole thing has been such a drag for me. It's been so much hassle, you know, when I was out there, they couldn't get me. It was a real pain, you","I think I'll have a snack in the morning. I'll go up to the cafeteria and get some bacon, I'm craving bacon, and maybe a big cup of coffee and maybe a","and then the other guy just comes in and starts getting the cups and then he's like, 'I'm going to get you a cup and then you'll get a cup,' and then ","uh... what is it? A good time or... what? Like... what kind of a time is this? I don't know. It's like the second, what? The second one.","yeah, we were driving down to the airport, and you know the, the, the traffic is like crazy, and like you're stuck in, you know, this, this, like this","oh, my God. I'm going to die. I'm really going to die...I can't take it...I'm going to be here all alone...I'm sorry I went on vacation","And I think it's going to be a lot like my parents. My mother is going to be just as much of a pain in the ass. I don't think she's going to take care","and it was like, you know, my, my father's family, when my parents married, it was like the church was packed, you know. There's the guy who's like a ","a few seconds ago, you were watching that tape [a recording of the participant] and that was so strange to watch yourself. You just want to get out of","you're all over the place and I can't keep track of you, I think it's the same thing with everyone I know when they're trying to get something off the","there's just a lot of different things you can do. You can always, you know, like, do the opposite of what the person wants you to do. And just keep s","I'm thinking about... well I'm thinking right now, I'm thinking, oh, what's this... I don't know what's happening now... I'm thinking this is really s","so I don't know, maybe I'll make it, maybe I won't, maybe I will, maybe I wouldn't, you know, maybe, maybe, what? I don't even know","I was just going to say, I think this is going to be the first time I ever say this in person, that the way I always used to see things was always jus","the things that you've had to do and you know what you did wrong but you didn't know how to fix it but you can't think about how to fix it so you just","I wonder if I'll ever have any children. I wonder why I can't. I wonder what's wrong with me, I wonder if there's something wrong with me. I wonder if","and that's what's in my mind, a couple of thoughts... the first one is, if I were to be killed by the end of this session, that it would be like me, m","I want to have a lot of friends. I want to be a famous artist. I want people to talk about me. I want other people to be interested in me. I don't wan","it's not like you can go to college or go to university and you can go and study art. There are no art courses. So I would love to study it, but I can","what I've been thinking about recently is whether it would be possible to write a novel that deals with some aspect of the history of the universe, or","you know, you think about stuff like that when you're like in a party. You know, like you're sitting with a group of people and you know, you're talki","I am doing a thinking, you know, a thinking about how to make the film, like, well, it's not the actual film, but it's sort of like, how would it go","[A]nd now that I have thought it through, I've just thought of something that would be more accurate than the other thing I thought of that is, I'm th","a feeling of wanting to see something that wasn't there, the feeling of wanting something to be there. And you're not sure it's going to be there, it'","and I would like to go to the beach because it's a very nice place. I've been there before and I liked it, so I would like to do it again. ...I would ","the brain is a little bit like a computer, it's got lots of circuits. It's got lots and lots of connections between those circuits, so, a lot of infor","a child with a little, you know, a little doll, that you could throw around. And it would make a noise, so that you could use it to distract yourself,","you can't put it back in the box. But if you try to put it back you feel like it's too heavy, it's too hard to put it in the box again. But you","the whole of your brain is like a supercomputer, and the different parts of the brain are like different parts of a computer and they are all differen","The two people are a male and a female. And there's a male and there's a female. They're sitting opposite each other. And then I think of the relation","that's really what it is. You know, it's the same thing you're trying to find in poetry and you find it in poetry. It's a real good metaphor and you d","and I know how that's supposed to sound to you. I think that's how it is in the real world. I think you're supposed to talk like that. You're supposed","I'll see if I can give you a feeling of the sort of things that are going on. This is one of those moments of silence, and I just went into this, and ","it's all a bit of a puzzle, isn't it? I mean, what am I doing here? What's the point of me being here? What am I doing? I don't know","I'm standing in front of a table. I'm thinking about the table and it's about a foot wide and about four feet long. It's a bit short, it doesn't reall","And I'm sitting here with my back against a wall, and I'm feeling so alone. It's a kind of feeling that I get very often. I don't think I'm so often a","we just need to get back to what it's like, so it's not like a thought about something we've forgotten, or something that's been long in the past, or ","the sky's got a lot of white in it, like, like it's got a little more white than usual, and then it's got this greenish haze, like, it's got an","and now that we are not together, my life seems so lonely. I feel so sad, so sad, I wonder why, I don't know. I feel sad, but I don't even","I'm looking at the sky, thinking of the day before yesterday. It was rainy, I remember that. I don't know, I don't remember if the sun came out, or if","I could have had a really nice conversation with [someone] and then suddenly [thought] that [person] might be married to [someone] else. I didn't want","And the most difficult part of it all is when you know that you're going to die and that you're not going to make it past the next few days. I don't l","I feel like I am standing in front of a wall, and I do not know what is behind the wall. I have the same feeling as with the painting. I do not have t","I have a theory that the most important factor in the course of an illness is a certain kind of thought process. The patient's thinking is constantly ","and now the memory of a time when my life was in danger, or, rather, when I had lost control of the situation in which I was involved. There is a feel","And then I thought about it. It seems that all of the people who are on the receiving side are having some kind of a breakdown. I don't think that the","there is a great deal of suffering in the world, a lot of bad things happening, and there is a lot of suffering that goes on within us. And it's only ","and I have to make decisions that will probably lead to some bad decisions that will be bad, but the reason is that the reason is because I'm always o","the thing is, I don't have a good enough reason to stay in this house and make things right. I've been trying to find something, but there's really no","it is this [the question of] what is right and wrong, or what is good or bad, what is virtuous or wicked. What is a virtuous person like? What is it t","you know, you know that this is a kind of, is a kind of a, I'm trying to think of a word, it's a kind of an operation that is a kind of unnatural","the fact that there are a number of different kinds of mind and they seem to be mutually incompatible and therefore there's a number of ways that you ","there is something in our society that has always been a kind of threat, and that is the idea of the possibility of change, the idea that you can chan","I am a very ordinary man, I don't have much in the way of natural talents. I don't do things especially well or badly. I'm not very creative, I'm not ","I feel like I'm a good student. I feel like I've done well in my courses. I've done pretty well in my major. I feel good about my studies, and my care","a man walks down the street. He sees the light turn green. He steps off the curb and starts to walk. He doesn't know where he is going, or what his go","And then the sun goes down and they say, 'Oh, well, it's not as bad as we thought it was.' And so the whole society is kind of like the society you're","I wonder what my brother would think if he knew I had been a whore? What would my mother say? I can't even think of it! My mother is so innocent. What","I'm sure you have a very interesting job and you must work very hard at it. I'll bet you have to work nights, don't you, sometimes? I used to work nig","and I'm going to go down to the store, and I'm thinking I'm going out to a bar tonight, and I guess that's what I'm going down to the liquor store for","the guy with the orange hat. He's got this orange hat, I think it's a topper, you know, but you can tell it's his. His clothes are so dingy and","I know you're not supposed to do that, but I was thinking about a little girl that lived down there in that little house on the street, and her parent","I was gonna go to my home and see what they had to say to me. You know, my parents are getting together in about four weeks, and I'll have to go to se","And the girl got it... And she was so happy, she didn't care if she was getting... she didn't want to tell her mom it was a girl. I thought, 'No,","I don't want to go to sleep, I'm not sleepy. I'm just too tired to sleep. I just want to sleep in, and it's late. It's 6:0","[S]omething like a black bird with a long neck and long legs and a short body, almost like a seagull, but much bigger and much blacker, with a long, b","and now there's this funny thing here. This funny little girl, it's a child's drawing of a woman, but it's a little girl, and it's funny, it's not rea","and then you see the moon, and then you see a small light shining from a very, very high up in the sky and you're looking at it, and you can see this ","and then it gets like this, it goes on like this, and then it starts going this way, and then this, and then, and then... there's no reason, no reason","the first time that I went to the movies with my parents, it was when I was three or four, I think. I was three, four. I don't remember it, I guess,","there's a lot of stuff here about the sun, about the sun coming up and coming down and getting brighter and brighter and brighter. It's a really nice ","[the thought is] the past, a scene, of the sun setting, and it's like this beautiful sunset, and it looks like this big round yellow ball of fire. It'","I see this long, narrow corridor and it's lit by a series of, sort of, one-inch long, bulb-like things, and they are on either side of this long hallw","I'm going to eat some bread, I don't know how many, I don't have time for more. I'm going to sleep. I don't want to eat right now, I'm","a nice day to go fishing, nice day for going to the store. No, a nice day for sitting in the sun in the backyard. I'm going to go fishing and I'm goin","I'd like to get up there and see my mom, I could, I could go up to her and talk to her, it's nice, and I'll sit down and eat this sandwich,","and I'd be a bit worried about the girls, because I think the girls are a lot more vulnerable than the boys to some kind of accidents, to the falls an","I have to go to the shop in about 10 minutes and pick up some milk for the kids. I'm just going to go down to the shop and then I'm going to have a","this is a very important point I think...that it is more important to have the right people involved...if you are not...if you do not have the right m","I'm gonna start this paper and I'll get in the swing of it and I'll actually start doing something. I need to get my work done. I need to work hard. I","this is what's happening to me right now: I'm in bed. I'm having some pain, not too much, but I have some back pain. I can't get to sleep. I","I'm so excited. I'm so excited to get my degree. It's going to be awesome. And the summer. I'm going to get my internship. I'm gonna do awesome stuff.","you're doing good. ... you're doing alright. ... I'm really good. I'm a good person. I like my life. I'm going to college and I like college. I'm","I was thinking about the '75 book, which is 50 years old and which has become a classic. And I was thinking how we started to teach children to read i","that's why it's important for the kids to stay in school... and what's sad about it is, you know, there are so many different things you can do that a","the girl... she's a cute little thing. She's an eight-year-old girl. She was brought in with the diagnosis of being a schizophrenic. She's been there ","the sun's not out today, and I'm sitting here trying to get my mind going, you know, to work. I don't know, I don't, I'm not sure what I","I'm going to see if I can do a math problem in my head. Let's see if I know the square root of 300. I'm going to write that down. The","I've been thinking about, and I think I'll use this one... 'What did I do today?'... I think that's one of the ones... 'What would you do if you could","the...the...the thing with the...the thing that happened...the thing where you...the thing you...the...yeah, you know, the thing with your...yeah, tha","I know a guy that, you know, he has some...he's got like a '65 Camaro and he's got a '73 Camaro and, you know, and a","that's the problem with the government is they got out there and they are talking to the American people and the American people, you know, you don't ","the number of people in the world who are poor is enormous, but there are also people who are poor in America, and I've heard a lot of talk about, lik","it's like the way it was in the fifties, when the two parties were the Republicans and the Democrats, and one of the things that happened to the Repub","but that would be very dangerous to have in the United States because we wouldn't be able to do anything about it and they wouldn't know. It wouldn't ","I have a dream of a world where all the world's people live in peace and security and prosperity and have a free market economy. Now, I think that the","It's just the most important thing I can do, to bring the world back to the values of freedom, democracy, and peace. You see, we must take control of ","and I have this idea, for example, to try and make it possible to go to the moon for everybody, for everyone in the world. I mean, for example if you ","And we're talking about the same thing, we're talking here about the same type of thing, we're looking at the same type of people in the same way we'r","I was sitting here in this room and I looked at the map and I said, well I'm sitting here in the city of New York, which is very large and very divers","I don't know where I'm going, where I'm headed, but I feel like it's the right place to be. ... I've got the freedom of living in a place where you ca","so what are we gonna do with our money now? Now that I'm not in debt anymore, now that I can spend money as I want to, where am I gonna go with my mon","so we had this conversation and he was like 'well we're going to have to, we're going to run up against some kind of limitation with the amount of ene","So it's the kind of thing, it's, I'm saying it's like you have a lot of ideas that are like you've been thinking about something for a long time and y","I remember a time, when I was in high school. And I was doing a project, where we had to make something. We had to make a presentation to the whole sc","I wonder how many times I've seen this movie? It's been 20 years. How many times? I wonder. I guess that's the thing that has been bothering me: I won","and I think you said I had to be more precise, and you said I could just say what I was thinking at the time, but you said I couldn't be too vague. I ","I just thought of another question for you. Do you know why I keep thinking of this book, this book I'm trying to write? What is it? What am I trying ","the thought of what the other people say in their minds and how it affects us and how we live our lives, it's just something we don't ever really thin","it's been a week of 55.6, so you add the two numbers together, 55 point 6 plus 55 plus 6 equals 111 point","It's funny how you can't put your finger on an answer but you know it's there. So you try to think about it and you try to get it out but it just does","I don't know what it is, but I have an image of myself as being a child and I'm standing by the fireplace and I have a little chair next to the firepl","I was watching my mom getting ready to go to work and I was sitting there thinking about how she must look at the world through a different perspectiv","[I]f we can get rid of those 10 years, you know, when I'm just a kid, I can become the adult that I want to become, and maybe I'll","I've got this feeling I don't want to have this baby. I just don't want her. I don't know. She just seems to want to come, and I just don't know","I am in a small town with people who are nice. The town is small but very pretty. It has a lot of trees. The trees are in rows all along the street an","the whole thing, the whole thing is gone. There's a place where we go and we can't go there anymore. It's like a piece of cake and it's all gone, you ","And this is a part of the story of my childhood and adolescence. I have to tell it. It is important to tell it and it is important to understand it. A","I can see him, and I can see his wife, and I can see them on the beach and they're all happy together, and I feel happy when I see them. I can feel th","it's really funny, but it seems like when you do it, the thoughts flow back into your head. They're very personal. You don't say, 'I just remember tha","a woman is sitting by herself, very quiet. I can't remember who the woman is. The woman is very still and very quiet. The woman has her eyes closed an","the story of that...the story of the man who was called upon by God to come to the city of Jerusalem and to kill the baby Jesus and to sacrifice him o","and then she was a child again. She was a child of only fifteen when she heard her father's voice and came down into the cellar. He had been dead for ","I remember sitting with the sun on my face on the shore of Lake Michigan and the water was boiling off, and I was lying on the sand with my wife and w","and I went out to the pool with him and the other men and we sat there on a rock and the water was warm and it was dark, but there was a light over th","I have a wife and a son and a daughter. And a daughter-in-law. And they're all going to die, they're all going to be dead. They'll be buried there. An","now we're down to two of us and if you've got enough sense, you're gonna come down here and we're gonna have a little talk. If you're scared to, I'll ","the red dress and the red dress. They were both red, the red dress, the red dresses, the red, the bloody red, the blood red dress. ...I think I've sai","the water will run down into the well, and then it will get warm, and then the people will be happy, because it is going to be summer, and the water i","this is what's important to me, that people should be able to be more spiritual. Because they can't be, they're always too busy with their work, too b","the grass is so green in the garden. I'd like to live there. It's so beautiful. But it's only a dream. I can't live here. I want to leave this place","I'm thinking of going for a walk tomorrow, to the old country park... I just know I will go there. And it's going to be really good, very beautiful we","[suddenly] my mind goes to the country where the sun is setting. It's just the beginning of autumn, and I can see the setting sun. It's not just the s","and so it's not...what I call, it's not an attack. It's not a fight. It's the two together, and the two together is...but there's no fighting.","I have this very difficult idea which I must tell you. It's to do with a person who comes to visit you who's not very good, and you're very worried ab","[W]e are living in an age that is full of machines. [...] We can live with the machines, or we can lose our minds to them. [...] The machines are a ki","I feel it like a bird. That is how it is for me. It is like a bird that is flying on my chest, that is coming back and that is flying away. So it is","it's funny, when I was younger, I'd hear a word, like 'love,' and I'd think, well, love is a great word. But then I would think, 'What","The body is an amazing thing. The body is not only amazing in that it's the instrument that carries out the thoughts. It's amazing in that the body it","the most powerful thing is that you can give yourself a commandment, 'I'm going to listen to this sound for 20 minutes.' It's not so much that it is a","this is me, my heart, my soul, the essence of my being. My life, my being is in this moment, that is the whole of me. My being, the whole of myself","and now I'm going to open the eyes. I'm going to do this on the plane. I'm actually going to do it. I'm just going to open my eyes. I don't","And I want to do this thing that's been coming to me for a long time. And it's like I want to be the one who creates a society where you can be free. ","I was at a funeral recently...that was the first time I had to go to a funeral in quite a few years, and I think it's a very important thing to do, to","I feel I'm a very good person in general. I know that I'm a good person. I've learned to be a good person and I've learned the importance of being a g","I think the important thing is to keep things as simple as possible. That's the way the world is, really. It is a very complex world, but it is also a","you know I think if I had had the same kind of thing happen to me, I would have gone out and I would have done something about it. I would have taken ","this is all about what happened in the last 40 or 50 years. When I say this is the way I am, I'm saying this is what I've been taught, this","and they're trying to kill me with a rifle and a knife, and they're trying. I don't know who I am. I'm not a person. I'm a puppet. They're","I think it is very much the same with all human beings. And I am sure that there are people who are quite open to it, and they will probably be very h","And I'm going to be an editor of this magazine. I think I want to do it, it's really exciting. I don't know how it would work, it wouldn't work at all","so now that I'm a woman who's a professor at a university in California, I feel like I have to be on top of things because the world's changing so muc","I've got to find a way to get into this thing, because the last thing we need is a government that doesn't understand the needs of its citizens, and t","and you know, there is another thing about, about people who are... who are in prison and have committed a crime. You know, in my own case, I would no","and this is something that has been in my mind since my last session. I have been thinking a lot about the fact that there are people who do not belie","The second one, is what I'm doing, or what I was doing, I guess. I'm making a lot of mistakes, and I don't know what to do. I don't think","I'm going to write a novel now, to try and make this all make sense. The novel will be about the various ways in which human beings seek to escape the","I'm going to say 'good'... and then you're going to say how you feel about 'good.' And I want you to think of something that is good, and you're going","there was a man who was walking, and he was walking and he was thinking, and he walked, and he thought, and he kept walking, and the man got tired. An","I just wrote the beginning of a poem, actually, but I couldn't remember it. And it's just the beginning of something and I've been trying to get back ","and then the thing that I can't really explain, and I really think is why I write, is when you're writing and you're sitting at the typewriter and you","and then when he came back, we started having sex and then I told him how much I loved him, and he said, 'I know.' And then I told my mom, and I start","I think I should get some sleep. But I know I can't, because I have so much work to do. It's just that the work is not so interesting to me. I don't","I'm going to be doing some kind of research on, on people's memory and thinking, I think I'm going to give a seminar on, on something, I'm doing some ","I'm an intellectual and a mathematician and I'm the guy who thinks that's what he should do. But I really don't have a passion for it, and I'm trying ","the name of the book, of course, is the name of the protagonist, the book is 'A Good Man is Hard to Find'. That is not the name of a good man. That is","I wonder if there's any way you could bring back to the world, you know, you could bring it back to a time when it was less dominated by money, you kn","the thing that's important to remember is that there's a point at which the child's brain is not the same as the brain of an adult, and this is one of","I've always loved you. I wish you had a girlfriend. I wish I could just come back and take your place. I would do it if I could. I've always hated you","I have to tell you, that's a good thing to be in here in the first place. It's a good place to be, so what are you complaining about? It's a place of","the house, it's a bit cold in there. I'm feeling very warm. I'm sitting here, it's kind of pleasant, this whole thing, everything, in fact, and yet I","I'm lying here in my bed, it's so hot, and I'm so hot, it's just unbearable. I mean, it's getting so hot, I can't stand it, I","you see it. You can see it. The whole thing is gone. You see the whole thing. There's no more of that. But I want to get rid of it. I don't","I'm sorry, I don't know how to say that. I don't want to say that, but it has to be said, and it will have to be said in some way. I"],["there are some things I can't think of. Things that I know but can't. I can't remember them, they're just not coming. I don't know how. I think they'r","I want to put it on the shelf, because it's a bit heavy, and I can't carry it down. But it's on the bed, and it's got to be taken down to","the thought that I should have asked my boss to let me go back to the hospital, because I really want to be there, and I just didn't have the energy t","and when you get older, I really, really want to come back and do that. Because when I was your age, I had the same thought, and I went to all the dif","I think I have a dream that I'm a girl and I have a baby... a child... I'm going to have a child... that I have a child, a boy, a son,","And I am not so sure that I am really doing what I want to do. I really don't know what I want. I am so happy to have found you. I have never been so","you know I was saying that you have a lot of control over what you are doing, how you are feeling and I know that, and I know you can do something to ","it's just that my partner's not a very good judge of people. She likes people, but she's very good at keeping her judgement to herself and letting the","it was a long time ago...maybe when I was in college. I didn't think too much about my father...I didn't know him very well. I didn't want to. He was","what was I saying? I can't remember. I don't think I'm very good at this. I mean, I'm trying. But I don't want to be. It's very hard","I am a lot of things. I'm a girl, I'm a young woman. I'm going to be a mother, I am a student. I am a very shy person, I don","I'd like to ask you a question. It's very personal. What is it like for you, to be a mother? What does it feel like?... I can see, I can see","And then I'm very, very proud of you and I feel a bit guilty because you've got a lot more experience than me, but at the same time I'm very proud of ","this is what I think now, that if I have any faith at all, I have to give it up. That I should give it up and feel it in its place. I can't just","I'm tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep. I'm just so tired, I'm just tired, tired, tired. I just want to sleep. No, no, I","it's like you're in your mind and you're looking through the window of your mind, you know, and you can see all kinds of things... and it's like it's ","there are people who have been murdered or have been in accidents and their bodies are never found. It's the worst thing that could ever happen to a p","I have been in love with a boy. A friend of mine was dead. And he was the one. It was terrible. It was really terrible. He was 14, and I was","[I] can see you, that's why I'm here. I'm here because I want to be with you, I want to die with you, that I can feel your hands on my","I feel it's really hard to find anything I can do to make it stop... I have never seen anything like this before in my life. I thought the worst was o","I was lying on the ground with the glass over my head, I couldn't breathe and I was going crazy. I was in a hospital bed in a room that was lit up by ","and that was my mother...that was my mother's body...she was so small when I had her...she was small and she died young...but...but...that's why...tha","and the idea came to me that in some ways, this was a bad thing. And it was a very good thing because now I was thinking of them. They were thinking o","it was all done, of course, and I was happy to think it over and get rid of the worries, and when I thought of that, I realized I wasn't alone in thos","I was really in love with a man and the man I was in love with had a wife and kids. That was the way I was until I met another man and I didn't even k","I'm sorry for being a burden to you. I really am, I mean, I think I'm a burden, even to you, but I want you to be happy. I don't want","I feel I could be someone else's friend, I suppose. I could be my friend's. I know I am his. But, I'm not a friend to me. I think of myself","and he had this little boy. I guess I don't remember what his name was, but it's a name that I've never heard before and I guess I've never spoken to.","and now, in the midst of this, I am thinking about the woman who, in the course of our conversation, brought up the topic of her father's death. I am ","I know that that was my first memory of my mother's face when I saw it the first time and she was so beautiful and she was white. I just had no idea a","you were in the front row. It was like a high school class, you know, it was a group of girls and we were all sitting in the front. And there was a gi","and he says that it's the only way to do it. He's always saying that he's the only one who can do it, you know?... Oh, oh!... He says that","a very old lady. She was walking through the village, and the village is not like the other villages; it's not like the one I just visited in Switzerl","that is one reason why the men and women who have come here are very different from those who go to the movies or the ball games, or other places wher","it's a kind of a shame because the boys, you see, they're very young. I don't know whether they're going to grow up or not. They're only fourteen. I s","the guy's a nice guy, the guy was a nice guy who came into the restaurant and asked for a drink of water and a cigarette and a cup of coffee and I gav","what you're doing is, you're saying that when a man comes here and says, 'I'm going to run for mayor,' or a woman says, 'I'd like to run for the","it's like, the fact that you could use a book to shoot someone, I mean, I just think that that's so awful, and, and, you know, I don't want to","and it's like he's got some kind of-- some sort of-- you know, he's got-- you know he's got the ability, you know, to do something he's never done","and it's a question of when it's going to be, because we know when it's done. If it's done on Wednesday, it's going to be on Wednesday. You can't,","and there's a line there and then it goes and it's a little bit, I don't know what the little bit is, but then the little bit goes up. I've got a litt","so I'm in this...this thing. I'm in my bedroom, and there's a, there's a lot of stuff going on in the background, so I'm...so I'm a","this is something that's been bothering me. I'm going to have to do my research. I think that there's a big problem. I'm not sure if this is really a ","there are these things like the game of 'I spy' in a sense... but it's just a weird game, it's just one that is completely invented on the fly. I don'","and it was raining, and she was looking at this beautiful picture of a house with a window, and there was a little girl standing in front of it, looki","and the kids are gonna go away for Christmas and I'm gonna go work on the house, and that's why I'm so tired right now. It's supposed to snow and it's","I'm gonna go and get the beer, so I'll be right back. So I'm gonna get the beer and then I'll be back in a while, maybe. So I'll go and","there is the big idea that I've been trying to figure out and write about for a long time, and I'm almost ready to put it into writing now... I don't ","I'm driving, and I'm thinking about what we're gonna do this weekend. I'm driving up the highway, and I get to the end and then I'm driving through th","I was at the airport, getting off of an airplane. I think it was a 747. I was at the airline. And I'm sitting in the back seat of the car.","the future of this company. The company that I started. I was going to do an MBA. I've always had a feeling that I didn't do a good enough job in busi","and that's the kind of thing that you could get, right? I mean, if you were able to get the funding, if you could do it, you could get a lot of this s","I remember when we were in the high school, you know, and we were in 10th grade, I took a biology class with some of the kids that you went to high sc","I think that's why my dad and I go so far off on the tangent sometimes. I think I'm the only one who likes my dad, who really does like my dad. I thin","the two guys I like, both of whom are now married, one's a very, very good friend, I think, and one's a colleague. The one that I worked with I, you","this is a bad thing to be like this because we've gone into our retirement home, my dad has gone to the other retirement home, and I can't see him bec","I don't know that I should have gotten married. I had my kids. I got married. I think it's kind of a mistake to get married before you're ready, you k","I know I'm gonna be on the road. And I don't like the way people talk. I mean, I'll be on the bus, and I'll be listening to music and stuff.","I'm so sorry I'm not in the office right now, because I'm not a doctor, but I'm sure if I could see you now, I wouldn't be able to help you,","the man in the white suit...in the white suit that had come by in a truck. The truck was stopped in the parking lot. And he walked down to the front o","I think they're very interesting. I mean, I'm sure they're going to have an effect on our lives, in the long run. I mean there's a lot of people that ","the world is just a reflection of how you feel inside... and if you feel better, you're going to do better, you know that, right? But if you don't fee","And I think that I have to go to see my friends because I haven't seen them for a long time, and it is a very, very good thing. They are a good influe","you see, I know it, I know that it's going to happen. And if I were to tell you, if I were just to say to you, 'you know that it will be","I am sitting in the chair and I am looking up. I think about the book that I have just finished. It is a book that was published in 1966 called The Se","so I want to talk about how we do it in my field, because it's a very important question to me: how do we do it? And I know that there are a lot of wa","my mother used to read to me from a book called 'The Human Body' ... when I was five or six. This was a science book about the body. I'm trying to rem","the house of the house, the house of God, the house that is built on the rock. You, too, build your house on the rock, but the house that the other bu","you know, that's a big problem for us. We are going to get in trouble with our boss. She doesn't have a good opinion of the government, and she thinks","I see people around me. I have no money, so I have no way to go. I see the other people. I have my own life. And I am sure there is no way to","I thought about the young child... and he has a father... and he is in the middle of the forest and he sees a dog... he is very hungry... and he goes ","and they'll be there in the morning. [pause] It's so funny, you know, that they come there at night, and they don't come back there in the morning. Bu","And when we went to the store we got a lot of things we wanted and we took them home and put them in our room and we had a big party and the friends c","and you see this woman and it's like it's her who is talking, you know, I know she's a different woman but she looks just like a woman from here. She'","And so he has a dog and it's a very handsome dog, you know, it's like a German Shepherd, you know? ... He's a very nice, good dog. And he's","And there's some place in the town that is kind of a big park. And there's a fountain and that is a really really big fountain and a big waterfall and","I think I should be looking for a good job, because I can't keep it up like this anymore. I can't put my kids through this. I'm afraid of a lot of thi","I had to go to the dentist the other day and my wife was really mad at me because I didn't pay the bill. She said that if I didn't get over it soon I ","a woman I had never met, a woman who worked in a convenience store. It was a time before the convenience store had its own manager, so the manager was","it's so hard, really, to do the best you can. I'm not a great golfer. I'm a good golfer, but not great. I'd be a great golfer","I remember an incident when a woman in the office was coming in and she had a little dog and the dog had a bone in its mouth and she couldn't get it o","And we'll have to send them over there. And they've got to have some people there to take care of the children. I know I can't take care of all the ch","there are so many things that people don't understand that it just, it's not worth fighting. If they don't understand, don't understand. It's a waste ","there is no such thing as a good day, there is only the good day, the day when you do what you know to do. The bad day is the day when you think about","The night before last I had a dream in which I was a kind of magician, and I was having my magic act. I was putting on a kind of magic act and the peo","I was lying down with a book in my lap, and I saw this boy with long, curly hair, in a sailor's uniform, on a raft that was burning, and there was thi","and there was a big hole in the earth, and I said, 'I must go there and see what it is,' and I walked through the hole. I came to the other side and I","And the more I think about it, I feel a little bit better. It's like when you're scared of a big thing, and you get in a little corner, and you shut y","I'm sorry about the first one. It's my fault, not the cat's. I should have picked it up. But you know how we are. We can't see, but we can","a man walks on the street, and then another man comes up behind him. And he... he gets scared, and he turns around, and he sees the other man's face a","it's a lot of money that's coming in. And they're taking out a mortgage and paying off their credit card and stuff, but there's so much money coming i","I was in the park. I was thinking about a piece I'd written, the first thing I'd written for me, for myself, and I was in my car, and I wrote that dow","the other day I was playing with my car keys. I was walking around my room, and I had these keys in my hand. And I had a thought about this that I had","I've got a problem. I can't remember where the thing I was doing was going to. And I don't know why I got started. I thought I was going to do somethi","and I see him in a whole bunch of places, everywhere. It's like he's all over the place. Like in the whole world. And I have this image of him walking","I can't seem to think of a word for this, but I guess it's something to do with people having ideas of people, so, I guess that's an idea of an idea, ","we've been talking about what it is to be a woman in the world and the kind of life one might lead. There's a kind of life that I've thought of that i","And then it's all over. And then you're the only one there. And then it's over. And you're the survivor, and you know that the others are dead. You kn","I could give a lot to that. That's why I like to tell you about it. And it's not a lie. It's just a lot of words, and I can't find out","I remember being really, really afraid that I would become a really fat old man. And I thought of, you know, I think I've seen something about, uh, I ","I don't know how to solve this. I don't want to think. I think I have a little bit of a problem with it. I don't understand it. I don't like it","so, so, that's right, it's good, good, it's a good way to live, but it's just as bad as any other way to live... yeah, I mean,","[the participant] doesn't like [the other participant] much. ... [the participant's] father doesn't like him, he doesn't like anyone. ... [He] likes [","And then he, he's like, what? And it's, it's just a bunch of words. He doesn't mean anything. I mean, he's saying, like, what, and","you know, I've been wondering what I'm gonna do with my life when I grow up. And that's a very, very long way off. I don't know how old I am,","I don't want to go to sleep. I'm not sleepy, I don't need to sleep. My mind's just resting. It doesn't have to go to the bed, to sleep.","a dream. A man. A woman. A man, a woman. A dream. A woman, a man. A man is asleep, dreaming. The woman is in the dream. She's","I'm in a state of shock. I think. I'm not sure if it's me or not, whether it's a reflection of me, but it's a state of total shock, of","I'm not sure that I have any thoughts at all...I think about everything...I just wonder who I am...and I'm not sure if I'm a person. I think I'm just","what if I can't finish this thing? I don't know. I don't really know. I've never written a story, so it's like... how do you know? I don't","I think it's like... it's like a mirror that you are seeing the other side of...and you can see what it is...like the reflection of the light of your ","the fact that I'm a little bit depressed right now and that I'm not a happy person. I think the thing about depression is that you just can't really f","I can see this coming up in my mind. I think, it's not a problem that I have now. I mean, I'm thinking, it's just a question of my mindset, that","And what if it's not my life, but my daughter's, for example? Because I don't know what's going to happen to her in the future. And I have no idea. Ma","[t]here was this boy who was in high school, in junior high, in his thirteenth year, and he was just about to get into high school... he was very inte","[the] idea that...everybody had a purpose to live for and that...we didn't necessarily need to know what it was, but if we were looking for something ","I can't stand that. It's the first time I've seen it. I'm still wondering what's going on. There is a certain degree of surprise, there is a certain a","the thought was of a long, long walk. I can't remember what it was about but it was a very long walk, and I think that I was on a kind of journey. I d","And the most beautiful thing about the world is, it's always changing... It's always new, always different, always something new, always something dif","and then the next morning, I came into the kitchen, and there was a letter that I didn't remember receiving from the hospital. There were two, two let","And you don't know what to do. It's so strange. You think you don't have to think about it. But the truth is that you do have to. It's not something t","I have to go to the post office and see if there are any new letters for me from the woman at the office who is having a hard time and is so worried a","I'm sitting in the living room of my apartment. I'm alone. I have some time before my friend will come over and I'm feeling kind of bored. I'm not sur","I am really excited that I'm going to get to take that trip to Africa. I haven't even been there yet but I'm so excited that I am going to have my fir","I guess the point of all this is to understand how it works. I think, maybe it works by a process of trial and error. But you know, I don't know. Mayb","I'm in the middle of thinking about something else that's going on in my head...and this is what I'm thinking about...and then I'm thinking, this is h","this was a man, who had lived, and died, in a place in the south of England, where I have been before, but I didn't recognize it, even though the map ","and the one that I was really thinking about is, how I wish that there was a way to be a vegetarian. I'm really, really, really vegetarian. It's just ","I'm not sure of anything. I've no faith in anything, except maybe a very weak faith in the fact that, for whatever reason, my life has some kind of me","the question about whether there is such a thing as being a different race than one's own, and if so, what sort of an effect it has on one. And I gues","and I am at a point where I don't know what the purpose of my life is, and it's something that has been troubling me for a long time. I mean, I can th","so this is a whole series of things that go on in there and there is a real difficulty in knowing how to organize this kind of activity, because it is","I think, you know, there's a lot of people in this world, I mean, I have, like, two or three close friends and I just, I can't imagine having a lot","[i]t's that the story about the king who's always chasing the sun, and he's chasing it because he wants it to shine on the side of the palace he's in.","I remember that once upon a time there was a guy and a woman and the woman said to the guy, 'I've had it with your stories and lies, you're not going ","I have some feelings about this. I had this dream that I was in a field and I was lying on the ground. There was a little tree growing up out of my bo","The last time I visited my brother he had a new baby, and he told me about the new baby. ...He said the baby was a boy. I know that because it was his","I remember that the only time that I ever heard you say anything like that was at the time when you were in the hospital. And that was a time when we ","it was just like the first one I think... you know, it's very difficult to really talk about it... it's more or less the same thing but it's very diff","the room is getting a little dark and I'm getting a little cold. I've been thinking about the air and how the air goes through the tube in the machine","I am sitting in my chair and I am looking out the window and I can hear the rain coming down on the windows. And I'm thinking about my last date, whic","my own little heart... I love you very much, so much so, you can't imagine. And I'll be right here, waiting, until you get back. But... you'll never g","I remember my mother saying, 'When you have children, it's a lot like being a mother, and a mother is a lot like having children,' and it's true. And ","and it's like I was going to say, when you see the clouds, they're just there, and it's up to you to look at them and decide how you feel about them. ","it's not so bad, when I'm in a rush or when I'm not thinking about anything else, it's not so bad. Because when you're not thinking about something, y","my nose is all the way over here. This is my nose. There's a spot right here. If you look down here at the spot, and it's right here. That's me.","you know, there's a certain kind of people who have a way of making themselves very comfortable with somebody else, and they're very nice, but they ca","we're going to have to go and we'll be going to some of our relatives to the south, and we'll have to leave our house and we'll go into the house of o","[it's] very easy, this is a very important thing...[we need] to think of ways to do it, to make it possible, because it's so important, very important","And I was wondering why they wouldn't have said anything about it, like 'That's what I'm worried about, that's what I think about,' and then it would ","and I could be that person who makes the decision. I'm in a meeting. I say something. I'm not the leader, but I say, I know, let's talk about that and","my sister died, I was really upset by it, so I didn't even notice it. She had a very serious, very severe case of cancer and she died from it and we d","and then I'm just sitting here thinking about these problems and I'm trying to remember where I went wrong on these problems and why I made the mistak","and I was sitting there thinking, okay, I think I am going to make an appointment, but I didn't call. I didn't even call to make sure the day is in th","And what do you think? So that's it then, is that it? But is that the way it has to be? Because I think I would like to see more of this, you know","and the idea I'm getting here is, and the idea is this...I'm not sure I'd have it any other way. I would be kind of sick of it, in fact. I","and so that's a really good question, because if you think about it, as if we're living in a world where we have to be, and we're not going to get any","I'm thinking that it might be a good idea, if you're going to be working with other people on that project, to have them actually do their own little ","It is really funny that we are using all these technologies that we don't understand and that have not been validated. And as we are going to get more","I was trying to come up with a definition of an algorithm and I was just trying to think about what an algorithm is and what it's not. I'm thinking th","there was a film about the relationship between the military and the police. The military's role is to prevent the police from doing the right thing, ","So, my understanding of this is that, if you've got an individual, and they're not infected with an HIV virus, and they don't have any, you know, risk","I'm doing this session... I'm doing it out of curiosity and I want to understand how my brain works... I know the brain is very complicated and it's a","so that's another piece of evidence for me in the sense that I do think it's a good thing that we have an independent review. I think that, you know, ","there's an interesting thing that happens, though, as we're doing the analysis of this thing, this dataset, and that is that the data analysis is goin","I know that, you know, the word 'problem' is used a lot and it's very... it's used to mean something. You know, it's used as a verb. It's","I can't understand how it is that the things that I see in the world are the result of the things that are happening in my mind, and how that is the c","and the thing is, it seems like all of these little parts that I can't really understand. I mean, I can't really think about the things that are happe","the word 'truth'... in this sense of a 'true statement' or 'true theory' or 'truth of the matter'... that's all it is to me. The meaning of '","what I do not see clearly is whether this is a real, permanent phenomenon, or a temporary one that will go away as soon as we have enough evidence, or","and now I'm looking at the next question and I'm wondering how the hell this question relates to the previous question. Why should they be asking the ","I have to be very careful about what I write, because I don't want to write what is in my head or what is in the air. I can't write that. I have to wr","and then I can't see, you know, the things that are important to me in this world. I don't see the things that I think are important to the other peop","I wonder if they could've been better. Like maybe a few more...no, no, I think that's just, that's a fantasy. Like, they could have been better. I'm","I can't figure out where that thing came from that you just said about it not being able to be determined whether I'm lying, and yet, you know, it's k","you know, this is funny, I just realized that I feel kind of like I'm in my own mind here. That's why I'm closed-eyes. I feel kind of disconnected fro","I was in the woods, and then I got lost, and then we're back in the room again, and it's still raining. I don't know why I'm back here. I don","[...] so now what about the other half of it, if you have a look at it in its totality, you know, a half of it can't have any meaning all by itself,","I was just thinking of how much my mother is not there anymore. I was just thinking about that...I was thinking how much I love my mother...but now sh","The same, the same. And we can see it in our bodies. But there is a certain moment of awakening, when I don't feel this anymore. I can't really put it","I was thinking about the fact that it's all going so fast, that I was going so fast. And I'm still going fast. And there's so much to do. And then I'l","I wonder whether it's the same in our world. I mean, in our world, does it not occur to us to wonder, 'how far has time gone'? I mean, is it not","I'm seeing this big wave coming through the water. It's very big. I'm saying to myself, 'You're going to be able to stand up to this.' I'm thinking it","I want to put a car on the side of the road, or at least that's what it's like for me, that's the only way I can put my thoughts in order. But if","I want to go to the city. I want to go up to the city, but it's raining here and it's raining so hard I can't even see the street signs. It's all","and the first time that I had ever seen him, I was on the side of the road and I'd been waiting for the bus. And then there he was. I was about 18","I'm thinking, and I'm wondering what's going on, I wonder what it feels like, I wonder how I feel. And I wonder where the next place is, I wonder if i","I'm not sure I can do the work, or do it well... I was thinking about doing some of the work and thinking about my friend...I've been thinking about t","and what's the thing with this is that, it's like, how can I say it...that you know, you've got these two things, one is the one you have, like a","what's the difference between a single thought and a thought with a verb? [A] single thought can be expressed, it has a meaning. It can be understood,","what a wonderful life. ...it's a wonderful world. ...it is, ...it's such a wonderful world. That's really the answer to the question. What is life? Li","I don't think there's any problem. I don't want to have any problem with anybody, I'm trying to live my life and be happy and have fun and that's what","I think about a lot of things, and I try to remember all the things. Sometimes it's hard to remember. But I'm trying to remember all of it. But some p","And then we'll go back and we'll go to a different place, and it'll be different, but it's going to be the same. You know, I'm not really sure where I","[thinking about] the difference between a good and bad relationship, a good friendship, between good and bad love. A good friendship is when you can a","I think that I need to be honest. I think I'm going to have to be honest with my mother because she's probably going to find out anyway. I don't want ","I think I know what happened. I don't know why, but I just have this idea that this whole thing...the whole thing...was a mistake. I don't remember it","so, um, you know, you can't really tell if you're just daydreaming, or if you're thinking about something, right?... like, like, like what you're thin","I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't care if it's something else. I mean, I don't wanna be something else, but, but you know, I can't be","you know the first time you thought about suicide and you were like, 'okay, I'm going to kill myself tomorrow'? And you thought, 'well, I don't want t","a person who is in some way suffering from an illness of some kind, in order to feel better they may seek out another person who is also suffering fro","I wonder what he's thinking right now, is he thinking about me? And I wonder what I'm thinking about him. We're both thinking about each other. And I ","and then I suddenly thought, 'This is just so unfair,' but I can't say it any more because I feel embarrassed. I can't believe it. I think, 'Who are y","I've been thinking about the time we were out on that walk. You were thinking about him. I was thinking about the last time. When we were together. Be","[t]he light, the darkness...[t]hings you see when you're...sleeping. Yeah, when you're asleep, I mean. Things you dream. Like, things","I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor, and I'm going to die. I'm not going to die because of the infection. I'm going to die from my disease. The disease that","I think of all these people...I'm not really sure if they're people, I guess they are. I think of my friends, but they're not really there. They're ju","And it's just an old dog story. And a lot of people have told me about these things, and it just came to mind. So that's why I was telling you about i","And then I'm on my way to the store and I see the guy that I met at the party and he's like, 'Hey, hey, you're pretty damn hot! Hey! Hey","I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about that. I'm sorry...that's not important. I don't remember that at all. I was thinking about something else. I was","a man with a big hat, sitting in a chair. A man with a large hat. Big, big hat. It's not his hat. The man with the big hat is not him.","I know what you mean...I'd like to know what I'd be...what I'd be like, you know, when I got there...you know, when...when the place was really","I had an old friend that I used to work with, a fellow named Ed. We worked together for the post office. I always called him 'Old Ed', because he was.","[I]t's the little things, you know, that make a difference. If you're just out to be a good neighbor, I don't mind being the one to do it, if","I was talking to one of my co-workers, and she said, 'Well, if I were a man, I could get more of the benefits, because I'm not making enough.' Now tha","well, I know the book is over, but I'm kind of going to keep on reading it because I'm interested in it. I like the characters in it and I like the wa","[t]here is no way to be honest with oneself without being honest with others. That is why it is so easy to be dishonest with others. People are so afr","I'd like to be a big writer. I've always loved reading. I never had an interest in writing, but I think I've got some talent for it. I think it's goin","I remember the time when I first came into the hospital. I was in an operating theater. The anesthetic had gone in. I was out and the surgeon had come","I'm worried about people. I don't like people. I'm worried that I'm going to have a job, but I can't have a job. I'll have to have a child.","I've never been happy when I've been in this sort of situation. When I was in the army, I was always happiest at home. And when I'm in a hospital, I d","you've got to keep it up for a while and see what happens. What I think it's going to do is I think it'll keep you occupied, I think it will keep you ","we're at the point now where we need to find out why the problems are happening. I think it's important to have an objective and a goal. So I think th","I've been thinking, you know, about the past, the present, the future. In terms of the future, I don't know what I want, but I can see what I don't","I've been thinking about my son, my wife, and my relationship with her. It's been a very good relationship but at times I've been a bit of a jerk and ","I'm glad to be here. I'm glad I didn't have to do anything. I'm surprised you're still here. I want to see what you have. I don't like the people","I'm trying to write a letter, and I don't know how to put my feelings into words. I want to tell you how I feel, but I can't say it. It's like","And I'm glad I have a new job. I have been going to work for 2 years now. But, I don't really like it. It's too stressful and it doesn't really","I am on the beach. The water is cold. I am thinking about my mother. She had died last year. I am sad and lonely. The waves come and go. I think of my","I'm so bored, I just don't know what to do. I just feel so empty. I have to go to the mall to get some clothes, and then I have to see a movie","what if you were really young? You were just a little kid. And you wanted to go to college. And you got a job as a waiter. And you had a little house ","we're just going to see what we can do. I think this is the year. I've just got the year and I'm going to go and I'm just going to stay in town,","I'm like, what do I do for Christmas? I've got like, a couple of things. I'm going to go to my parents and get the money, and I'm going to try","[i]n my last job, they fired me for being so stupid that I couldn't do my job. So I went to another job, and that job was so stupid that they fired me","I want to do it, I want to, you know, I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. And, I want it to be real, you know. I don","And you know, I never ever want to go out with my husband. I mean, I would love to. But I just never want to. I don't want to go to the clubs or","I had the sense, as you might say, of being in my mind...when you think that you're not really there, you're not in this body, but you're in your mind","I know that this is the real me that I want to be. And it's been a long time. And I'm really happy. I've been very happy. I want to let go of","and I think that that's so important, because we really need to get that to the people, that when we talk about the past, we can't forget where we com","I was reading this other book that I'm not sure the author even knows what the hell she's talking about. ... I think I was in graduate school at the t","we can't have a 50 cent war. We can't have that kind of thing. It would just be a war of mercenaries. And if that was the kind of war we had,","[S]ome of the stuff I think about... that's not useful for anybody else... that's really only for my own use. Like if I had some really strong beliefs","the new economy, it's hard for me to come up with a clear definition for new economy, I guess I'm talking about a new type of economy that's going to ","I have a very long conversation with my father and my mother and I have to go to a funeral of some kind, which I never knew about. I had never known. ","so I was thinking about this other thing that you can do, which is, in order to get that sense of empowerment, that feeling that you are not the victi","I was thinking, 'what if they take your identity? Like a passport.' And then it was like, 'what do you do?' Like, what do you do with your identity? A","the idea of someone who is a friend and has been my friend for many years, I've been trying to reach out to them. It's been a year since we've really ","[I am] wondering what it would be like to work in a company that would have its employees... a kind of co-ownership that's a bit more... equal, I gues","and I'm just thinking that the other day I saw a little girl out and about and she had some really really big earrings on, you know, I saw her and I'm","a big beautiful flower on a branch, I don't remember if it was a rose or something, it was just a flower, and I just was standing there and it just lo","I feel very very sleepy. I wonder what kind of sleep I'm having. I was thinking about sleep in terms of the kinds of sleep. I've had REM sleep and non","[thought about a friend] She's been asking me questions, but they're not real questions. I mean, they're not really interesting. But it's just a way f","I've got a headache. ...I'm going to have to take the day off, ...I'm not going to get anything done. ...I didn't get any sleep last night, ...I","that's what I'm like now: I'm not trying to make a movie or write a book. I'm just trying to understand something. I don't really know what that somet","[a]s I was driving home [a] few days ago, I was thinking, 'Oh, God. This is gonna be so difficult.' I'm gonna have to leave this city for","I feel like I'm on a train that's going to come to a dead stop and all my dreams are going to go with it, but then it just keeps going. I guess that's","and then he goes, he goes out there, he's got the rifle, he goes to a certain place and he shoots, he shoots the guy in the back, he's not even going ","I'm walking over to the park and there's this big sign up here and it says, 'Go Home,' and there's a little arrow pointing back towards where I came f","yeah, but there's something wrong with that. It's not a real apple, it's a fake apple. They made it look like an apple, but it's not an apple. And we","and then I was in a car, and there was this car chase, and I was driving the car and I was going up a hill and there was a car coming down the hill an","that's what I would like to see ... that's the only thing I would like, that I would like more ... that's why I'm trying so hard to get my ass in this","and now I am starting to think about the whole thing from a different perspective. ... So we have an idea of what the future might be like, right? ...","what are some of the reasons that one might make up a story about a man that's killed, if the man's been killed? Well, I guess a couple of reasons com","the thing is, is that people that are in their fifties or their sixties, or even in their seventies, are generally not looking forward to that stage o","I was a big fan of the Beatles, I was a big Beatles fan, and I remember, I'm trying to think back to a specific incident where I was with a group of B","And I was thinking that this whole thing would be better, this whole whole thing of you guys getting married, if there were more people that were not ","we had a conversation at the start of the session when I was saying that I think this is a good idea. We have a group of people here in our community ","the fact is that we have a lot of people that are making the transition. They are now doing their best to become something better than they were and w","it's a really long, long, long day and we have this meeting where they're going to tell us what they think of this and what they think we should be do","it's about the technology. So I don't know if I could just do it. If you want to be on the board, I guess that would be a very high level position. I ","it's like, in a sense, I know that the only way for us to get that kind of communication with the public is to find the right way to express our messa","And I wonder whether it's even possible to design a system that can't be subverted because it's just too complex or too hard to understand or because ","it's very simple, I think it's very simple. It's very simple to see, but to make it happen, that's the hard part. I know that there's a lot of problem","I'm sure I have to do something with the way I approach this, which is very difficult. It's very difficult to put into words what I mean. I am concern","what we don't know about how the mind works is so much more than we know about the brain. You could say, it is like a big black box. And in this black","I have a problem. I have a problem with this thing. I can't find it, I can't do it. I can write it on paper, I can write a piece of paper and","The moment the moment is over and gone, that's a moment, that's the moment. That's a moment of reality, that moment, and it's over, you've got a whole","the notion of space, and of its relation to the mind. Space itself is an object; it is an object which has a certain content. But I think that the con","this is what I think you don't understand about me. I don't understand what is going on. This is what I want. This is how I think about you. I want yo","I'm thinking about the concept of 'real'. I'm thinking that the whole idea of 'real' is an illusion. That the world we see, the world we know as 'real","It's just the fact that you are looking at a situation and then you have to make an assumption about what that situation is. You have to make a judgme","I have this idea for a story. It's an idea I've had since the beginning of time. I'm not sure what it means. It is the idea that we have this knowledg","it's just a matter of knowing which words to use for which thought. I don't think the process itself is the important thing. The important thing is to","what is the source of our language? What is the source? It's a biological phenomenon, and it's also a social phenomenon. It's not just a matter of som","And what is the truth, then? Well, this is something I don't know, of course. It's not an issue that I'm very familiar with. But the question itself, ","And now I'm sitting on my bed. And I'm thinking that I would like to have some sort of a machine that I could use in a similar way as a camera that re","I was at the train station today and saw a young woman who was obviously in labor, and she was sitting on the floor, on a blanket, with her child... I","It's so beautiful. And I was thinking it's so beautiful, and I'm going to make a poem, and I am going to write about it and I'll make a little book of","I think of my childhood as if it were a movie. I've been thinking a lot about how movies work, and I know how they work. But when I was a child, I did","the big one in my mind was the big one in your mind that was about the bird and the fish. But the one I had in mind was something a bit more concrete.","and the only thing that I can't get off my mind is...a woman's...a woman who has come to live in a...in a cabin...I think it was on a lake in","and what the other day, what happened, was that I was reading this book and there was this phrase that I just couldn't get out of my head, it was this","I want to be a mother, but I don't have any children. I don't really know how to do this. I know some women who do this. Maybe it will help me to know","it's all about being here, being in the now, and not worrying about tomorrow or what's in the past. This is what is happening right now. This is where","you're not sure if you're awake or sleeping, it's not clear. And your body is in the chair, and you know that you're sitting there, and you feel your ","I wonder if you had a similar experience. I mean, I just know I'm going to have to talk about it now. It's like, when I say, I don't want to talk","and then, you know, and then I think I just thought it was the best way to do it. And then it just goes on from there and then the only thing I would ","I have just heard the sound of the rain and the sound of something breaking through the roof of the house... The rain is hitting the window in the gar","and then this kind of picture came into my head of a bunch of people on a platform looking up at the sky and somebody starts to jump. And then they st","I was driving the car down the road. ... And I saw something that was a kind of, sort of a greyish yellow, it was like a smoky sort of colour, sort of","I'm thinking of going for a walk. I haven't been able to do anything today. I've been here, and now I'm sitting here in the same way as I did yesterda","The whole thing is so far from my mind, but I don't know. I think that it would be good for me to have more time to myself, and if I could have some t","and I thought of the day when I came into your presence, I came into the room of the person who was to be my friend. And I remember the day when I got","I see the sun, it's just beginning to rise in the East. It's not yet high up in the sky. I'm still walking on this road, not a very straight road. I","and if you're going to be honest you're going to have to get through some of these, you know, you have to get them out, you know. You're going to get ","I'm glad I'm doing this now. I've been doing it for a while, but it was the first time that I said out loud what was going through my head. I was amaz","and I think that what it is about is, it's a game that I've played with my family. I've been playing a game of, what do you think is wrong with me? Wh","I am having a lot of trouble. I don't know how to get started on my essay. I think it's because I'm not interested in the topic. It's like it's a comp","the stuff that's not there at all, and if you could figure out what was there and what wasn't there, I think you'd be a much better judge of what was ","but that's a really stupid way of doing it. I mean, I know it's what they're trying to do, and they want to get this sort of thing across, but it's su","[I]f we were to make a decision about a product, what we do is look at all the different categories, and then make a decision based on the most salien","and we're just trying to figure out what we're going to do and what our goal is. The way that the process will work is that we're going to look at it ","I am thinking about a thought experiment that I'm doing with a student of mine. In that case, we're doing a thought experiment to explore some of the ","I don't know what's going to happen, but I know it will probably involve someone coming back with some other idea that we'd never thought of before. S","I remember when I was about eight years old, I was reading a book about how to make an airplane and I wanted to make my own. And it said that it was b","there was this person that I used to be, this person that has died... and then I used to live... I used to... I used to go to school and then I stoppe","I wonder what a person is to do in a situation like that. I suppose they'd have to write about it, if they were to keep a journal. I don't know how th","and then I suddenly found myself in the middle of the woods, and I was going to be lost. And I'm very afraid of getting lost. And so I'm standing in t","there were a lot of little girls in my class, and I don't think that they had as many opportunities as we did to be independent, and so it was a bit o","I mean I was like, that's the only thing I ever thought of. You know, I never thought about it, about any of that. I never thought of that. That's the","you know I don't have any kids because I was too young when my parents got divorced. You know, I didn't even start thinking about kids until I was in ","I'm just trying to make sense of all of it, it's just kind of, it's like this, it's so hard to come to grips with all of it. I feel like,","the whole thing is so complicated and we don't even know what to do. I don't know what's going to happen. I can't sleep, it's like I'm trying to fight","I see this little man, this little fellow, and he has a big belly, like an infant. And it's just like a big baby. And he's got a big belly and his eye","I'm not sure why I'm doing this. I guess because I'm supposed to, or I'm curious, or I don't know why, I guess it's just some sort of curiosity.","the word 'he' was repeated and I was thinking of different people: my father, my grandfather, the man who taught me English, my father-in-law. I was t","I think I should have a talk with my mother...I just don't know. I think I should be more... I mean... I'm going to be going out, I've got to have","And then there's this girl who lives down the block from me in a house I've never seen, and I don't know her name, and her mother works on the other s","so it's like they're still here. Like I'm in the middle of some sort of a party, I guess, and the person I'm talking to is on the phone. It's a","I'm on the edge of a cliff, and I'm falling. I don't know how to stop falling. I have to stop falling, because if I don't stop I'll fall for ever","and you're the one that's going to give me my head if I don't do my job right. But you're not going to have a chance to do that either because I've al","[talking about] my little cat who's been dead a long time, my dog's been dead for about a week. And then the next thing I know, [I'm] in a","and this one's so sweet, I really can't help but think of him... it's a good thing I haven't got a boyfriend or I'd be all over this guy... and he's","the sound of a bell. It's the sound of a church bell. A church bell in a forest. Oh, I'm so bored. Oh, if only I had a friend. It's","I feel like a kid again. It's the only thing I'm thinking about. I think about that sometimes. And I think about the children and I think about my kid","and I had to go back to the bookstore. And I'm thinking about going back to the hotel, but it's too late now, so I'm going to go back. But it's too","and that's why, when you have to go somewhere, you don't know where, you don't think of it; you don't even want to. That's why they have so much money","there was one in our old house, in the basement, it was just a little room, you know, just a little area. It was one of those areas, like in a bank wh","I don't know. What did I just think? Well, you know, I've been having this thought about, like, how do you say in French? The English word for 'like',","And I remember how my first wife left me. How she left me in the middle of the night. I was with her for seven years. And then she left. I went to her","I had a dream, about two years ago. A woman in a dark, dark room...I think I was there because my brother-in-law had killed himself. So I was there, i","a very beautiful woman, very, very beautiful... I can see her face, but I can't see her whole body... she's very, very, beautiful... and her eyes are ","and there's the one who got me, the one I was waiting for, the one who knows I'm here. I'm coming now, and when I get there, it'll all be over","what was your favourite thing about being at college?...was it the freedom of choice, being able to do what you wanted and be left alone...I was at co","and we had a long, long night after the game, because we had to go home, and I think it was only 12:30 when we went home, and we got into","and I've heard of someone who's died in an accident and they said they got up and walked away from the accident, and they said that they'd seen this m","I'm here. I'm here... and it's okay. It's okay, and I'm not afraid. It's fine. Okay, that's it... I'm here, and I don","I think there's a very special relationship between me and my wife. It's a very loving, intimate relationship. It's not like my mother's. I love her v","I'll take care of him, I'll take care of them, I'll make sure that everything is all right. And I'll take you away from the bad things and I'll keep y","I have the thought that I want to write something that's not in any way connected to what's been said in the past. It should be something that I can r","it's a bit of an awkward feeling, not being able to use my hands, not having anything to hold, and I'm sitting on a chair, and I've been sitting here ","I know what you are thinking, I think, and that's a good way to begin. What you are thinking is 'It's very difficult to tell if your thoughts are your","and that's the kind of thing that I've had, where I've been sitting on a plane for hours and hours, and I've just been thinking about it, and it's kin","that's what I was talking about before, how the way you think is the way you see, you know? So, the way you want to be is how you see things, I mean,","[I'm thinking] I'm not thinking. I'm not really thinking. I think that's just because I'm so tired. I don't really know. I don't think I know anything","the thing is, you know, if you're gonna try to make a new idea, like, how would you go about making a new idea? Well, you know... I think, I think","The fact of the matter is, that there's nothing in our lives, nothing we do that is any more important than anything else that anyone else does. But w","so maybe the world is going to go to hell and I'm going to have a big impact. I mean I'm not going to save the world or anything. I'm going to try my ","and, you know, and that's like the most important thing about this thing that I'm going to do. You know, it's like, I'm going out and I'm going in,","and I want to be able to see if I can actually be in contact with what's going on, even when I'm awake, when I'm not in a meditative state. So, I","I see the road, and I know I'm walking, and then I don't know what I'm thinking, and then something I'm thinking is that I want to think about a lot o","the other day, I had been walking with this person. I think it's my mother. And we were walking towards a train station. And he's saying, you know, it","the train is moving, and then it stops. We have stopped at the station and there is a train. You know, we have a train at the station, and there are o","my legs were tied to a tree and I was trying to climb out of the mud, and a large dog was running after me and was going to bite my head off, but I wa","and it's like you are being chased by these horrible things, and they're coming for you, and you have to jump over things to get out of their way. The","it's like the world is being sucked into this space. And the whole world is being pulled into this space, and it's just this great black nothingness. ","the whole thing is that I'm really going to lose it. I don't know if I'll be able to keep it together. I just feel like it's going to explode and I'm ","it's like I'm in the desert. I can't feel anything. I can see nothing. It's not even light. I can hear nothing. I can feel nothing. I feel nothing,","it is like a living organism, and I've been trying to describe it, but I've not succeeded. ...[I]f you look at a tree, there's a trunk and two branche","And so, I mean, it's a kind of, it's kind of like a, a, a place of, of a feeling, a sense of place that I'd never had before,","and I'll think of him. I'll think about all of the people that he loved. And I'm glad that he has, he has died, and so that's the end of his life","I have a kind of dream that I don't even understand what's going on, and I think that's what I want. I think it's like the dream is really an inside t","I remember my mother telling me this story about a cat she had, and the cat would always run out of the house, and the mother would just say, 'Oh, he'","I don't know who I am, I can't really say. I'm not like anybody you know, and I think it's because I'm a human being, and people don't know what","it's funny how that happens, isn't it? It's funny how you can suddenly be in a place like this, and it's like you're in a movie, it's just so unreal","I know it's in the books and the Bible, too. I don't know if I'm right, but I know I'm sure it's in there somewhere, and I don't have the","you know, we have no idea what the word 'in' means, to begin with, if you just take a look at the word. We've just got 'in', and the word doesn","and then she was in the car, driving back to school... I was in the middle of the road, and there was this car coming up the hill. And I had my eyes c","this is me, you know? This is me, it's me, this is me, this I. This is what I'm, I'm not me, I'm, me. I'm","I can't help it, I don't know why I am here, I have to keep on talking, it is as if I was forced, I do not know why, I am not sure","and I remember I was once in a room full of people, and the man with the big blue eyes said, 'This is an interesting subject. Would you mind if I aske","and I've got no money. It's so hard. So hard. I am so poor, I am so bad at this. I am bad at this so bad. So bad. So bad","and then I know they're coming back, so that's good. Because I was kind of upset. I was kind of pissed. I'm not sure if they're coming back. They're c","And this is one of the things that makes the world go around... This is a part of me that has been hidden in the world, and I can't see it any more. I","It was just something about a guy that I used to know. And I don't think he was a bad guy. But I didn't know him. I know him from stories. He was a","a woman with a bad attitude. I mean, I was, I was not gonna tell you that. I can't remember what she did, I really can't. I think it was something wit","I'll find a way to get you out of here. I know I will. I know that I will, because I know that you can't do it yourself. You can't do any of","And you were here, I was there, and I was laughing at you. I was laughing, and I said, 'I don't know why I'm doing this, I'm laughing. What","we are here. This is our world. And we are all together, we are in this room, we are together. There is no escape from us, you are all in here with us","a really nice guy, a real nice guy, who was very very handsome. He was very, very handsome. And he was always in a hat, and a blue coat, and always a ","Oh, how I wish I could say all the things I would like to say to you. And, oh, I wish you could hear them and love me so much as I do love you.","it's funny how some things come to mind, and other things don't. It's like someone is turning the pages of a book. Some pages don't interest them, but","And you've never really thought about it, have you? ...You know, how I used to think about you before I married you. But you never really knew. But wh","I don't know why I've been telling you about my past, and it's not all good. I was born a little boy. I'm a little bit of a man. I've been","I can see this, like a big big beach. Like it's a sand castle. I've seen that movie, yeah, with the whole kids. I've never had any kids. And I","the air is like a wall. I can hear the wall, and it's so loud. The whole world is inside, and I'm out here. I'm the door of the world. And","I feel that I am going to die in this room and I want to live forever. I can't breathe. I can't think. I'm a ghost. I want to go and I'm","it's a good thing for me, I'm afraid to have an experience of myself. It's like I've been locked inside my skull. I feel that if I had any kind of exp","my legs, my arms...my heart beating, my stomach. My muscles...I feel it. It's there. I can feel my muscles moving. I can move my muscles, I can move","this is the end of the world, and I will be here with you. And you'll come to me. I'll be a mother and I'll hold you in my arms. I'll look"],["And they say, 'What are the people like here in this country?' And then I think, 'Well, you know, it's not that easy to find out.' I don't know about","I'd like to get married, get a house, a job. I'll be married, have kids, and it'll be like a home and it's going to be a family and I'm","The other day, when I was in a state of mind where I didn't really like anybody, I thought about my wife, and I thought, 'Gosh, if I were her I'd","I don't know. I'm a little bit frightened, though, about my husband. He's just so much better at this, and he's got that much experience. He's so much","there's nothing to talk about in this room. What should we do? I could make some tea, or have a hot drink, maybe. I have some tea in the cupboard, a b","a woman with a lot of money. I think she's married. I wonder who she is? I've never seen her before. I don't think it's a nice woman. She's mean","what is that you were doing there? You were painting the stairs. You were going to paint the stairs in the hallway. And then I'd be there... I'd be pa","I'm in a hurry to get on the bus. The bus is waiting for me at the corner. It's already half past six. It's raining heavily. I should hurry up! ...Wha","And I'm going to tell them to sit down, I'm going to say 'Good evening, I'm the man who wants you to tell me if you've seen my lost dog. My dog","that was the problem, they don't have a proper place to live. They don't have anywhere to live and they don't know where they are going to live. And t","it's like you're on your own, or something. It's just the two of us. ... It's like you get in a car with a stranger and they say, 'I've been","and the whole time I was looking down at my foot, like I was trying to find something, and then I thought about something. I said, 'Well, there's prob","I had a bad dream last night. It was really, really bad. And the reason I had a bad dream was because I was in bed with a guy last night. And it was l","I have a lot of problems. I've been having these nightmares and I just wake up. I'm still not sure if I should tell my parents. I don't know. I don't ","you're not doing anything. I'm just trying to relax. I'm doing something. I'm trying to relax, trying to not think. You know, the first thing I though","[In] a way, my mind is kind of blank, empty, [and] there's nothing going on... [And] I'm feeling kind of depressed, just kind of down, thinking","the two people, they just are, right? They are not you, not my self. And I feel like I want to be able to let go of my self, because I know, I","the three of you are waiting for me in the future, but I'm not sure if I'll ever meet you. Maybe you're already gone by the time I arrive in your time","the car's going fast. The car is speeding along. ... The car is going really, really fast. I'm riding in the back seat. The car's going really fast an","I see you, you, me, I. I see you. I see myself. I see the way you look. I see your face. I see... I see yourself in the mirror.","and I'm so glad that he's with me, you know, because you're a very good friend, but I'm a bit concerned that maybe you'll get hurt, you know. Maybe yo","I think about what my life has been like and how it's been and how it could be. You know, if it was going to be something different. And I think, oh, ","And then, suddenly, you'll see me in the mirror and I will look so thin and so old, and then I'll suddenly see that you're gone and then it will be ju","I am on my way to the train station, my train is on time. I am almost there, there are the turnstiles and the platform... there is nobody there... and","the plane is in the air, the plane is flying, the plane crashes. It's in a cloud, it's falling, it's in the clouds, the plane's in a rain, it","the time of the war in 1945, when it was a war on all fronts, with a lot of soldiers coming from all the countries to join the army, and the airplanes","we don't have that kind of freedom here. But at any rate it was all in our own heads. I've heard the people in the desert talk about how they used to ","The difference between the way I see the world now and the way I saw the world when I was 14 or 15 was, that at that age, I was so absolutely convince","that's a good question. What are the criteria of goodness and evil? ...and you might say, 'Well, the question of whether something is good or evil is,","we just got a new house. It is nice, but it is not a good house. There were too many people there, so we just got a few of them out. We just got a","And if you've got a few minutes, I'll give you a copy of that letter, and we'll see what it says. It'll take about five minutes. It's a letter that wa","and it's been a real pleasure for me, I feel like I'm doing a very useful job, and the best job I've ever had, in fact. The only problem is that I don","and we were saying something about the work and, and then we were saying, okay, the, the people that are coming to the United States, are you talking ","that's why they didn't do it. Because they don't want to be on the road, I guess. Because they're not on the road. They've got a choice to make, and","I'm going to the supermarket and I'm going to buy milk and sugar and then I'm going home. And then I'm gonna put the milk in the refrigerator, I'm gon","I think I should just leave that. ... I should leave that. And I think I shouldn't just leave the one, either. That's really good. I think I'd better.","I've been reading the same story, twice in the last two days. I read it twice the first night, I read it again in the morning, I read again in the aft","I think it's hard to put it in words. I mean, it's hard because you really want to say, 'I don't care what you do,' but you don't want to be","[A]ll I have to say is, that [W]e'll just get along. [U]ntil I can get down to the bottom of this and then, we'll see","there's a lot of people that don't have a lot of money, they're struggling to get by, they don't have any support from anywhere, and you can see how t","I was in school when it happened, and we were learning how to take apart a TV set. And that's what we did. And you know what, we just put it back toge","and then there's this, this is a bad place, it's a bad place and then there's a place where they're so good, they're just so good that, that it's like","a certain kind of person, like an artist or a poet, will be more or less inspired by the kind of things that are around them. Or people who have an un","that's really scary, the way we are, we're so busy trying to hide behind ourselves that we really have no idea what's going on. It's kind of a little ","this is a very interesting and very strange book. There is one part of the book that is so different from all other parts. And you know what, I feel t","the way we communicate. I don't understand that. I donโ€™t know where it comes from, I donโ€™t understand it. Thereโ€™s a problem. Thereโ€™s something that ma","It was a warm, hot summer day. A very hot summer day, but there was a breeze. And, a little girl, she was holding a doll. And the girl's name was Lisa","so...it's like...we could be like...like you...if...if...like a person...you know, we could...if we wanted...if we were...if we could...","I remember I've had this thing where I've had a bad head cold for a long time, and I'm not sure if it's getting better or worse or what. I don't reall","I'm not going to take care of me until the end. I'm going to do it now, though. It's going to be a long time. I've got to take care of myself","the last time I had a lot of money was about two years ago. I used to save it in the bank, but that was back when banks didn't make too much money on ","It's not worth the money. It's not worth it. It's too expensive. And they can't help you. They can't help people. You know? People with insurance, the","I think that people are always making fun of me in the office...they think that I'm just some sort of weirdo who's got no use for the world. I've alwa","I'm here for a reason. I'm here for that purpose. I want to be here for that reason. I don't want to be here, I don't have a purpose. I have","I remember when I was in high school, I had this one girl who I was kind of attracted to, and I would just kind of sit around with her and stuff. And ","I feel like I'm just doing this for myself. You know, and I've thought about this, and I guess it's just because I don't have a family or anything, an","I'll think about how to organize all this information. I mean, I have to think about how I want to present it. I mean I'll probably start with the bas","it's interesting because I just thought that one of the things that's really interesting about this is that a lot of times when people, like for examp","a lot of people are being very self-centered and it's, like, all of them are doing the same thing. You know, they're trying to get something or they'r","there's a guy that I know, and I'll just call him Mark. I think Mark's a pretty good guy. He's not a very nice guy, he's kind of a dick,","we are making progress with that. So that's good, but it's not going to make a huge difference in the world. What it is, is it's going to make some di","and I'm thinking about the movie, The Hunted. It was a great movie. But I didn't like the guy that was playing the hunter. I think he should have been","I'm reading this, and I think that this is the stuff that we're supposed to read. And then I thought about it, and I was like, okay, so that is the st","[I] was having some kind of a problem in my personal life, and I was trying to sort of work through it and see what it is. And so, you know, I had som","I have a feeling that I will end up with a very, very bad thing. I'll end up with nothing, not be able to finish the book... I'll be left with nothing","I was born in 1966, and in 1970 I started working in a store. ... I used to do whatever I could to avoid going to the store, but","[a]lthough the technology is there, I'm still not ready for the day to come when I can do that, because it's too risky. I'm not sure if it will be","I can't help thinking about the way I want to go into a business. I think about my business partner, and then I think about the things I have to do. I","and you can't forget that. You can't forget, it's not going to go away. I mean, it's there. I know it's there and I can't forget it, and","I don't think we really need to have any more meetings. It's a good thing that we don't have to have any meetings. You know, I'm not going to like it ","And so it's an awful lot like, you know, a lot of the same people, like, like in the army. So it's like a lot of these things are the same, like","It's a long time, and I'm going to have to think about that again. It's a long, long time. I think it was around 1963, maybe a little","what is it with the people who are like you? You just can't let go of the past. You hold onto it so much it's like a vice. It's like the way you get","and it was the first time I was in the woods and I saw a bear that was just sitting on a stump and I thought what a great thing that would be to be ab","and so we have this... this, I don't know if this is the right word, this, uh, kind of... this, uh... I don't know. The way I'd describe","so I was just thinking about my childhood and my parents, and how they were very protective, and I don't want to say that they were overly protective,","you know when you're trying to say something, and you say a word and you think you're going to say it right, and you find out you said it wrong and yo","it's really hard to talk to people because it's hard for me to do it because, it's hard to relate to people, so, um... that's one thing. You know, it","and I think of the little boy that I was when I was in the army and when I was getting out, and I think about what's happening now, and it seems like ","and I'm thinking about...my life and how it's just going...how I'm not going to be...I can't believe I've already lived up to thirty years...and I've ","I can see in my mind's eye, I see... it's like this, it's like the... the... it's... like... like a... like a braid... it's like","we have that kind of relationship where it's very intimate, you know, but we can talk about anything at all because we know that we will understand ea","and the other thing I can do, if I am a man, or a woman, you know, but the other thing is that we can all have sex with each other, and not have to","I am doing what I am doing...I'm trying to help myself, and I don't know how. I can't remember what I was before. I don't want to remember that. I","I'm going to try to remember to tell him... that it's going to be a tough day for him, that I'm sorry. I don't know that I can say anything that's goi","we need to start talking, and we need to get our lives together. We need to start having some sort of relationship. You're going to be going away to c","you don't have to go to the hospital if you don't want to. You can just stay home and do what you want to do. I mean, I don't know about this thing wi","I was in a hurry, and I was talking to him. I was saying, 'Oh, well, that's not the best place,' and he said, 'It's my best place.","I was just thinking, you know, what's happening with the economy, it's going to be a real problem for you guys, but then I just thought, I mean, I've ","I don't have a lot of friends because I don't want them to know about this. I don't have many friends, because I don't really want them to see me in t","I'm looking forward to it. It's gonna be great. I can't wait. I'll get to go and see some friends. They'll probably be pretty surprised. I hope so. I","it's a bit of a shock to be a new graduate, you know, and the next day I was on the first flight to the UK. And then I was in London for two weeks and","I had a dream that I was a farmer. It was like in the old days where you used to have a lot of cows, horses. I remember there was a dairy farmer who u","you know what, I'll tell you, you know what's really important, you know. I mean I'm in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship with some","I've got a little dog and he's a rescue and he's so cute and he's got all these little... I'm going to have to get rid of him because we don't have ro","we don't have any good friends, because we're all so busy with schoolwork and work. That's why I'm going to move to San Jose. That's where my brother ","it's all good. There's nothing wrong with it, except you're doing it in the wrong way. You shouldn't do it in the morning. I'm doing it in the evening","and I would not feel good about that at all. No, no. I can't make him do it. I would feel like I betrayed him, you know. And I feel like a jerk","I'm the only one that doesn't think he has a sense of humor, that he's not funny. I don't think he thinks about it, though. He's like a little girl th","I'm just going to stop it right here, and I'm just going to say something. I'm going to say, 'You know what? I'm tired of people that you know, who","what does it feel like to be a woman, to be a man, what does it feel to be a male or a female in that moment? Because I mean, like I was talking to my","I'm a teacher. I teach. I teach second grade. I have a great class. We're always doing activities, always doing things. My school's really big and rea","I was looking at a book and I saw a word and it was something like 'arab' and then I started to look it up. I looked up and I couldn't read the word b","I don't like this, I don't like what I'm saying, this is so wrong, this is such a bad way to say it, this is the worst idea that's ever crossed my","what is the meaning of the word 'fairy' - not that I know the meaning but I wonder what it is, 'fairy'? Oh, I remember from long ago, I remember how","I feel the words coming out, but I don't know which ones are the ones that I'm thinking about. I don't feel like the words are coming out of me. They'","this is an interview where I'm asking you questions about your thought process and about the way that you are thinking. I'm going to tell you some que","that's a good point. It's a little bit more complex, though. I suppose I should say, it's not a simple problem because it's not just a matter of using","I'm in a forest. The trees are close to my eye level. The leaves are green. The branches are twisting around. I'm in a circle of them. I'm very close ","all this is like the inner space of a small room. I can see a few objects but not really. There is no window. There is a kind of light but no sun or o","and there's no sense of movement, either, is there? All the images are like snapshots, are they? There's no sense, no sense of... of something... a li","my wife's in a coma at the moment. I'm just talking to myself in the car, trying to work out what it is she's doing now. I wonder if she's at home at","a woman, I think, she's at the top of the stairs, so I see her legs, then she starts walking up. It's like a little girl's house, so it's got","and this was going to be an issue for the day. So I need to get in touch with my wife, or something, and say I can't get in. So it's been a good","what happens, what happens in the middle of the night, in the middle of this sleep, there's some kind of shift in the body, that's what happens, the b","I know it's a good idea to make a list of things I want to do at home and then to put them in order of priority. I know that's what I'd like to do rig","it's not necessarily true that a child who has a difficult time at school is necessarily a child who's not intelligent, is a child who just doesn't un","the teacher I'm really thinking about today. I don't know why. I'm trying to think about this, and I can't. I can't, you know, just think about the te","you know, it's funny, but I'm thinking about a game of solitaire that I played this afternoon, and I started thinking about what a problem that is whe","it was just an idea that popped into my mind, a good idea. I know that, it was just an impulse...but I was looking for a way to keep my mind off the p","my dad was a very successful guy. I'm trying to think of what I mean. It was like he didn't want me to think. It was very important that I not think, ","It's funny. When I was younger, I was a real serious person. I was always, even as a kid, thinking about what I would be doing in life, what I wanted ","I've got to get back to this. This is what I was saying, this was what I was thinking about, and it's pretty weird, because there are two parts to my ","I feel like I'm drowning... I'm drowning in all these things... I feel like... I can't breathe... I'm going to die... I'm not going to breathe... I ca","that's where I am, I'm so confused...and that's what I'm doing, I'm thinking, I'm just thinking...thinking, thinking, thinking...thinking...and it's c","The question of whether this is what's in the back of your mind, or whether it's the back of my mind is just the question of what you mean by 'you.' ","I'm supposed to be writing about the ways in which the mind changes, how it changes when you're tired, how it's different from one day to another. And","[I]f we could talk about this with my wife, I could say I'm really going to go through this, you know, as long as I can, as long I have some function","And then, when I had left the church I was on a path and there was a big rock in front of me and I had to get past it, and I had an idea and I said","and there's a woman that's a friend of mine... that's a very close friend of mine, she's a good friend. And she's very, very close to me because she's","I'm trying to think of something I used to know a long, long time ago, that I'm sure I could remember if I thought of it, and it's very sad that I can","a song that's always been important to me, 'All I Need is a Friend.' It's a song that I always listened to when I was young, and it's a song that's st","It's a strange feeling. The feeling of not knowing. Not knowing, you know. It's like the feeling of being in a dark room. It's a feeling of emptiness.","and I'm doing this now. You know, I'm doing my thinking now. And I'm looking around to see if I can find any of the other things I've been thinking ab","I was going to say the other day I had this vision of, and it didn't happen, I was just going to say, that you know that I'm going to be working on a ","And what was my last question? I'm not sure. I can't remember. What is the point of it? It's interesting, but I have no idea where it's going. I can","and now that the lights are off, the idea of walking in the dark and the idea of being able to see and hear. I'm not sure if I'd want to walk in the d","there are two ways of life, one of which is a waste and the other of which is the pursuit of happiness. You can either have the life of a tree or the ","it's like a movie with a script, and the script is being edited out, and I'm going to be an actor, and I'll play myself. And I'm a character on a tele","it's been a long time since I've thought about it. And it's not about the same things. Now I'm thinking about it and I remember. It's been a while sin","And then they'd start getting back in, and they're like, 'Well, that's really kind of cool,' and they would start telling me more about their lives. A","I'm thinking about a guy that I was dating, a couple of years back, and his ex-girlfriend called me. She was actually a little friend of mine, a forme","I've got to get to my car to get my keys and my wallet and my cellphone and my ID card. And then I'm going to my house. I have to check my mail and I","a good friend of mine was in town for a bit, and I thought she might be in a good mood, and maybe I'd get some more answers from her. But I haven't ta","and that's not true of the ones who got into the nursing home, is it?... That was the worst thing that could have happened. ... and I can't believe th","and I was just wondering why it is that people like that don't have as much to say as people like me and other people in the group. It's like, it's li","I'm not sure if I should take the job at the new company, or go back to my old job... I don't know if I should, but it would be nice... I don't","you're looking for your phone...[pause]...that's all. And, I'm looking for my phone, but I don't have my phone...I don't have...I have my","I think I have the flu. I need a week off work, so I can go to the doctor. I need to pay the bill for the apartment, so I better go to the bank.","you're saying something about the people that we have here...I mean, they're not very good...I mean...what's going on here, huh...I can't even do anyt","you know how some people have been like 'the more you have, the happier you are'...but I think that it's like, you know, it's more like 'the less you ","I was on vacation with my mother and I was thinking that I would like to do something nice for her. I was thinking about buying her flowers, but then ","it's just this feeling I have of being too old for all this. I know that's just ridiculous, because you know, I'm like 40 years old, and I've never be","it's interesting that sometimes I like to talk to myself, like a little kid...i think it's more important for me to say what I think. But there is a p","I was watching a show, 'The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.' And there's this one episode where Brisco is hanging out at a gas station in Texas and t","and I don't want to be a guy. I don't know why. I don't like being a guy. Why I don't know. It's just that I don't. I'm","I can't tell you, it's like... like you can't even, like, like you can get to know me if I want to be nice to you, but it's like you don","and so it was, that it was, and so it is, that it is, and so I was, that I was, and I have been, that I have been. And so it","And what's this? ...How the hell am I doing, how am I doing? ...Why the fuck am I doing this, why the fuck am I? ...Why should I be doing this","and now I think I would have to get out of it. I would have a very strong feeling, very strong, about doing that, because it's so unpleasant. It's unp","I'd like to be in the field, out there, with the sun, and the sky, and the stars, and the clouds. I'd like that, to be in a field out there","we're in a beautiful house on the beach in the mountains and there's a big pond down the hill and the pond is really big and really still and really, ","and so we're in the desert, and we're all going to die. And, we're all trying to escape the desert. And we're all, we're being chased by some kind of","And then, after they've finished, you put them in the cold water...and then, you...you...you get all these little...little...little...balls...like, li","this is like a dream that I had just yesterday, about a couple of women and this guy, a man and he's just standing there in this doorway, and I'm stan","I can't, I can't, just, just, I, I don't know...I've got, I've got a lot on my mind, it's all, it's a lot","the most important thing is that it's just happening. I'm just letting it be. It's happening, it's not happening. I feel like it's just right now, I j","the way he's dressed, his clothes and how they look. And he looks just like the guy on TV, the guy that's in the TV show, I'm watching and he's sittin","And I guess it's kind of a clichรฉ, you know, but the more you know the better. The more you know about something, you know how to fix it. So I guess t","and if the sun didn't exist, then what would you say? I would say, well, I guess that it would be more difficult. The world is very interesting. And i","And then we have an hour. So now we've got an hour and a half, so we have to do something with that hour and a half. It's not a long time to fill up","and you can't even feel that, but I can't remember the feeling of it. I can feel it. It's like a pressure. And you don't even realize that it's a pres","I see my mom on a beach, in the middle of the ocean, swimming towards me... And I am thinking of her as I walk and I see the beach, and I am thinking ","this is the beginning of it. The first of two. I've got to go back. The last time I was here, I was in my early 20s, and I just wanted","I want to try to make my way home to the family, and get back to my life as it was before all this. But I don't know how, and I can't bring myself to","And that's what we did, when we were a group. I'd always like to be like that again, you know, in a group. That's a beautiful group. And we have a","what's going on? There's something... something's happening. There's a kind of pressure... There's a pressure on my head, a pressure on the top of my ","I'm not so sure [that] the next thing will work out. There's always the fear that I'm going to lose myself again, and I think I'm going to have to kee","a picture of a house on fire... I'm walking in, and it's dark... there's a small girl, she's on the floor, and she's trying to get to her mother's","And if we could just see what we do all the time. This is what we do, we always go to the store and the store is the one with the most people and then","I think I'd be happy with just a job like I had before. It's not too much work. I think the pay's about right, and it's a place I can commute to,","I don't know if I really liked this movie. I think the last time I saw it it was just... I mean the acting was terrible. Like, they did it the old way","I was in college when we were on the ship with the captain, the same guy who's in that movie with Richard Gere. He was in a movie called The Siege. He","the kind of thing you can do when you're trying to get somebody to stop doing something that they're doing, when they're doing it in the worst possibl","so that we have a job to do with the job and that's all right and I think that's what's been happening is that we've had a job to deal with and it's b","it's really strange, I'm having some dreams about you, like in my dreams you're always talking, talking, talking. You talk a lot. Like the day I had t","I was just thinking, I don't know how to say this, but I think I'm going to die, that I'm going to go through a period in which I'm going to think I","and so I can't imagine that [the person] doesn't know the difference between right and wrong, I just can't imagine how I can be wrong about that, I me","I'm not going to say, 'I know what you did,' because that is exactly the kind of thing that the police would tell you. But I would tell you, 'I rememb","and this is what I want to get at, is that the more we go to work, and we take our work home with us, and we're really, really stressed out about thin","and I think it's really important, actually, that you think about this and you think about, how to use this, how to make it work. You know, so this is","I have an image of a young woman. I think of a woman that I know. And I have to be careful of this woman, because she has to have a lot of money. I ha","it was all wrong, because it was all about him...he was always just a bad guy...he never even deserved the name...the name was just a joke, he never d","I guess there's not really any good reason for me to be upset with you for treating me this way, but I guess I'm just still angry that you think of me","it's very difficult to put myself into a state of total acceptance. You're going to do it. It's a lot easier than it looks, and it's not about making ","It's very odd that a man who has no money and who has to have some money just to live, doesn't want to have money, he doesn't want it, but if he does,","the whole idea of a young girl in a suit of armor and being the king of the world was very attractive, especially if she was as attractive as you imag","that's right, you know, that's right, that's the problem. I have to come here, that's it, I have to come to a conference, to a workshop. That's","It's a little bit like an epilogue, because I am going to die. I am going to be cremated and I'm going to be thrown away with the others. So, this is","I think of that place of my birth, of a very good friend of mine. It was the very first day of the war. It was my 18th birthday. I went to a","the subject who is called the 'Other,' to whom you are attached, you are so attached that you are willing to do whatever he says to you. I ask you to ","we are here to meet one of our colleagues from another world and this one is coming. It is here and we are about to meet and it is very important for ","[I]n the end, in my own life, I had to come to the realization that all that is most important to me and all that is real for me is that I have the ri","and I could not believe that the life of an artist was so short. I don't think I would want to be an artist at all, I would rather be an engineer. And","it's the same with me, my soul is a poem, the same way as your soul is. My soul is a beautiful poem. I think I'll write it. I think that's the","And then I feel as if I were a part of the whole, and the whole is a part of me. I feel that I am in the universe, and that the universe is in me.","[t]o be [in this state] is to feel a sort of joy. For a while, one thinks that this is the way of things and that this is all there is to life","And then the others, the ones who were with me and who I knew, those I had known in the past, those I was close to, those with whom I had a relationsh","I know you have a daughter, you know, and you are worried, and I have been worried. You know, when I think of her, I think of a girl who is a lot like","I can't talk about that. I don't know why I can't. I feel very afraid, very afraid. But I'm afraid of what I do to myself. I am not a child","[W]ithout having anything to say, I keep myself thinking that I must say something. ... There are a lot of people that have nothing to say, and that d","you have the possibility to see yourself as the same thing as your environment. If you look at it in this way, then the environment becomes a mirror a","the first thing that came to me was that the number of the house in which I was born is 17. It's very curious. It's the number of my life. I'm born","the future, when it is impossible to know what is going to happen. How, as a mother, I have been and will be and am being, is it possible to say what ","the thing is that he, I'm not sure that I have it, but he has it. I don't know what he wants to do with it. It's not clear. But it's","you are in the middle of the road, and you're looking to the right, and you see a girl. You see her, and you want to talk to her. You have some things","there are so many things that I would like to have, that I would want to have. I think about all the things that I have not had. I think of the things","the body of a child, a baby, lying in the womb, the baby being born and then being pulled into the light. The baby is pulling itself up to its feet. A","the other day, I was driving and my daughter was riding in the back seat with me. We were coming out of the highway on to a side street. She got out a","I've had a couple of other people out here at the farm and I'd like to have a few people over here for breakfast...I've been wanting to do that, have ","it's the people that I've never gotten to know that are always getting all the publicity, and I always think that people are like, 'Oh, look, it's the","and I was saying, I think we should put a statue of the Frenchman up on top of the hill, and I remember the Frenchman's name was M. de la Rochefouca","I think I could have a chance of being elected to the Congress, if I should happen to win the nomination...that I could get in the Senate...and I'd be","we have to deal with the problem of our society's inability to make the transition from an agrarian economy to an industrial one, and this problem of ","the point here is to get some idea of what it is that is being done in the brain. To get some idea, say, of what goes on when you make a decision. You","And they say that the Jews have made a revolution. It's true. They have made a big revolution. That is what I would like to do in my own country. The ","and we were in a rather poor country, and we had no means of support. And we had to take up arms. We were very well treated by the Germans, for we did","Now, to go on with your work. Well, what will I say to you in my address?... I'm going to speak about the United Nations. The United Nations, which is","in the middle of the war, Hitler said that if you killed all the Jews you were going to have no peace. Well, that was a great deal of peace. I do not ","So, as I've said, we're going to have to do the same thing we've done, but with a whole different organization, but a whole different kind of organiza","the people, you know, we're going to be, you know, so, if we don't stop, and they'll be in this, and we can't do anything to stop it,","that's all right, but the thing that bothers me most, you know, is that the other side, you know... because what you are doing here is making sure tha","I don't want to see them again. That's what I want. I want to see my old friends, not just to say, 'See you again, Jack.' I want to do something","[a] lot of it's just so that they can take the responsibility for what they do and they can see what they're doing and they don't need to hide it behi","you know, it's interesting, because you can take a thing like the idea of the infinite, or infinity, the infinite in one sense, it's just a number. It","I remember that when I was a child, my father was very kind, very friendly, very helpful. He was a very nice man. And then as I grew up, I was sort of","and then the world came into being, and then there was a struggle between God and Satan, and then, the Devil and God and the people and the people wer","and the whole world will know that we are not going to be controlled. Because if we're controlled, then that means we've given up our freedom. Because","so that the next day I would have a list of all the people I knew, and I would say that I was going to do this, and I was going to work this hard and ","we've got a few of them that have a real problem...we don't have a lot of the other people...they're kind of a minority. And they're trying to, to...t","so it's a very tough thing to have to have to do. I mean, you're not just dealing with your own team, you have to deal with the opposition team. You c","so we're talking about a company that's like a... uh, you know, a small business and they have to run it, and you know, like a lot of business is on t","it's like they're trying to sell us, it's just like a... like a product... it's just one more thing on the list. We can't afford this, I think we can","and that's why we need to keep it around, we don't want to lose it, you know, it's one of those things where, you know like, if you're building a hous","so this is the only thing that you can really do in a crisis is, you can only really have faith. And that faith in yourself, and in yourself and what ","I'll just call the insurance company. It's a nice place, it's nice to work. And I just find it a great place to work, they do things a bit differently","and we'd be better off if you could actually get your head around the fact that you were a lot more important in terms of what you were doing than the","the word 'Davos' came to mind. And I was thinking, 'If I had to describe a perfect gathering, a perfect summit, where we should be all, not a lot of","I can't find the word for the... I think I'm going to go to a friend's house tonight because I... well, I don't know. I need... I need a friend.","And, well, I think I might go and look at the website again. I have a vague idea about the whole thing, but it's not very well thought out. I've got t","I've been reading a book called The Last American Virgin by William Burroughs. It was really fascinating. It was sort of about how the war in Vietnam ","and in the evening, when you go to bed, the thought comes to you. You've been thinking about it all day. What if this thought, what if this thing does","I'm looking at the things that I've seen, the things that have made me think of this. I've seen a lot of things about war, about the suffering of othe","I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. I'm going to come back and see you, you know, and I hope that we can get things resolved. And I'm hoping tha","the light from the stars, which we are able to see in the sky, is 200 years old. This means that the light we receive from those stars right now is 20","but the interesting question is whether it can be proven that that is not the case. That is a very interesting question. And I would like to discuss i","now I'm thinking about that, about the things you've written about. I remember in one of the things I've read, I'm thinking it was a book, and it said","you know, the second you see a pattern you have to decide what it means, but before that you have to be able to see patterns and it's very interesting","And I realized I'm like a bird or something. You know, a bird. That's what I am. It's like a bird that doesn't know the names of its own wings. It","[The participant] was wondering if they should take a picture of their mind to see how it looks. I think that's an interesting question. I wonder if t","And I know I will be wrong, I'm sure that I will be wrong. ... I don't really know how to make a difference, if I had the courage to just write someth","And then I'm going to see the dog. And the dog is a little, little dog. It's so small, it's a dog like a toy. It's a little dog, it","The reason is that you have to be able to deal with what comes in, and it doesn't matter what it is. And it doesn't really matter if you can't figure ","this is the time to be very, very, very careful about what you say because we've just been saying it...and it's being recorded in this little device..","but that's what we're doing right now. I mean we're trying to say as we're doing it. And I'm not quite sure what that does, but I know it doesn't make","it's the way it is. It's all it is. And it's a very interesting experience to be able to watch, and to look, and to hear, and to feel. And to","I want to think about myself, my personality and how I am. It's very important to understand myself, because without that, you can't understand anythi","we have to get to the root of it. It's just that he's a bad influence on us, and we can't leave. What should I do? How to leave? To say that","I think that's my problem, I don't think about anything. I don't know what to do about it. It's like a stone stuck in your throat, it doesn't go anywh","it's not a big deal. ... I just want to get it all out. ... It's not a good way to think about it, but I know that when I don't have a purpose","I'm worried about the outcome of my test. I'm concerned that the results will be negative, and that it will affect my professional career. It's a very","I would just like to take a step back and think about what I'm doing and what I want to be doing. I have a job, which I love, and I'm a manager and th","this is a great time because it is my birthday. So I'll be 61 in May. So I've got a lot to celebrate. I don't know, I haven't thought much","the concept of being 'crazy' was also used in the medical world. So, if you have a diagnosis of being 'schizophrenic' it means you are 'crazy.' So,","And I know how to deal with the new ideas... I've been dealing with new ideas for quite some time now... and it's not always a good thing, because it'","I was going to say I think my parents are really kind and compassionate people. But they're just like you, they have the same kind of values and belie","[I]t's very nice. I have a nice partner. I don't think my partner likes me anymore. He was going to propose marriage, but he was going to cancel becau","I think I would like to be a mother. ... I don't know. I mean, I don't want a lot of children. ... I've never been in love, I don't think","I was really excited about this idea, but I had this thought: Maybe I'm going to get in trouble for it. But then, I think that's okay. I mean, if the ","And I've also been thinking, I've been thinking about how I've been spending the past couple of years. Like, I'm just thinking, how I've spent the pas","it's not really a feeling of excitement but... it's a feeling of... I don't know if I can say it, but, in a way, I feel like I'm in the...","the feeling that this was all right, that it was the right way to be. That I needed to be right with myself in a very basic way, to be honest, and to ","and I realized that that was what was keeping me from being able to really concentrate on the present moment, because I had so many concerns about the","the things I need to do, the things that I need to take care of, and they are not even close to what I am doing right now. I have the most important t","it's so strange that my life is so busy and yet I have so little. It's so strange. It's like I'm working so hard, but I'm not getting anywhere. It's","it was in the middle of this that I noticed the chair. The chair is very comfortable. The chair is the right size. It is not a large chair. It is a co","we're all working together, that we're all working together. I'm doing all that I can to help you get to where you want to be, where you want us to be","and the other day we were having a discussion, a group discussion, and I said to this woman, and I think she was about 70 years old, and she said, 'Yo","I think it's a good idea, but I can see how it can be a little bit difficult. So, for example, what if the student wants to do something but he's not ","and I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna come over and tell her. ...and we're not going to do it. ...we're not going to, we're not gonna. ...we","I can see in the back of my mind all kinds of people from my childhood and from my childhood friends' childhood. You know, there's a girl who used to ","and then we'll do it again in a little bit because I was going to show you what I was going to do on my way home. So then I just stopped. I stopped, I","and when you think that I'm doing a favor for you, when I'm trying to help you, it's a favor I'm doing for me, not for you, because you don't need","and then the car, I think it was the first car that was introduced, and there was no question but that the first car was driven by a woman and it was ","so if you have a child in a car and you're on the freeway and you're going 55 miles an hour and they're 8 months old, you don't have to wait for","[my son] just called me about something, you know, and [he's] going to pick me up, and [I'm] going to take my son, and we're going to","I mean, it's not like this is going to help you in the long run or anything like that. But I just, you know, I'm trying to get the message through, an","yeah, I was wondering about that...I don't know why. It's been a while since I've talked to her. I've been getting to know...a lot of other people lat","And then I wonder, like, how do I really know if it's the same person? I mean, there is the question of, you know, maybe there's a person out there th","I know I'm gonna go down...I'm just gonna go down. I'm gonna get down...I gotta get down. I gotta get down to a lower place. I got a better place","[I]n the end we need to talk about the money issue, right? And, I'm gonna have to look at it from the standpoint that, what I want to be able to do","and so my dog's going to die because of that and I can't help it. I'm going to lose him. And that's something I really care about. I like the dog. I","the two people I was working with, they both went in the same direction, they were both in the same state, you know. One of them was a lot more of a t","I'm not really sure what's going on in my life. I know that I'm very busy, but I can't really say what I'm doing all the time. I've got a job","what is the point of making the world a better place, if it is going to end?...but I don't see why this is so hard for anyone else. We could have done","[M]y friend, her daughter was murdered by a black guy, and I know a lot of the black people don't believe in God, and I'm wondering, is that why they ","and it's just the way it's gonna be, it's gonna just be the way it is. If you want to do anything about it, you do it and you take it and you do","I think my mother is dead. I think she's gone and that she's gone somewhere and she's going to be like that, she's going to never be a person ever aga","and I wonder what would happen if they gave us more time, you know what I mean? I don't want to die, I just want to be able to go and see my kids, and","and the whole idea of what is called the 'truth', is not in a place. It's not a place you can go to, to find truth. It's just a concept. It's","I have this feeling that we're supposed to be the good guys and that we're actually not. That I'm not. That the world is like this and it's so cruel a","[I]s there any way to know if the things I think are true? I know that I think a lot of things, but does that make them true? Like when I dream, my","I'm so tired, and I want to get up, but I can't. I want to go to sleep, but I canโ€™t. I have to take a walk, I have to go","it's like, a sort of like, there is no me and there is no I and there is just all of this, and I am this, I am that and I am it, but","and then this little child is running across the lawn of the house. She is running really fast, and I can feel the excitement, the energy. And I know ","The thing is, I don't really know what I'm doing. I've been trying to understand myself. I've always wanted to understand myself, but now I'm just not","I've got a job tomorrow, and I have to go to school. I have to go in for a meeting. I don't know what it's about, but they have me going in for","I don't know what the problem is. It's something I've got to work out. There's something I'm forgetting. It's some idea that's nagging me. I just can'","The cat...is a good friend of mine, I...I feel...I feel kind of...of...of...I don't know...I don't...I...I don't feel very","and I am not sure whether this is true. I do not know. And I do not want to know. And this is strange. I do want to know, but I do not. I","and that's the thing that has been nagging me all along. The thing that I keep bringing back to my mind, to my consciousness, to my attention, to my a","I think my problem is I can't let it go. I can't get rid of it, no matter what I try. I'm afraid it will be there, hanging over my head. I","[The participant] is having trouble remembering what he said about being on a street corner with a girl and seeing the streetcar passing by. [The part","it's the whole problem. It's just like life. Life is like this, but it's so different, you know, it's so confusing. You're the one that's always tryin","it's the way of life here, but in my family, they've been different. They were different in their own way. And I'm not sure that I'm a different perso","I would never think like that, I would not think like that. No, no, no... I don't know how you think, I don't care what you think, I'm not like","and I have an image of myself being in a cave and this cave is deep in the earth and I can go down and down and down until the last image is the last ","there was a child that had just been born and she was crying, and all of a sudden a voice spoke in the back of my mind, a very old voice, and the chil","a couple of people just got back from vacation and are talking about the experience. They're talking about it to you. You can hear them saying 'that w","and now I feel like I'm trying to sort of get a better handle on the situation. I'm not sure where I am in all this. I don't really know where we are ","this is like a play... it's not like it's just you and your brain or something like that. It's not like you're just thinking it in your own mind, but ","the way we feel, that's a bit of a mystery, right? But we know what it feels like. It's an internal feeling, right? I'm talking about the internal wor","I am going to write my speech. It is going to be a speech to the world. I am going to have to put on a mask, though. I have to put a mask on,","a word on the page, on the screen, is the same word, but the sound it makes, the sound the word makes, the idea of the word that the sound makes, the ","I'm on my way to the store to pick up some apples, and I can't remember if there were apples or if it was pears, and I'm going to have to go to the","I'm so tired. And it's 2:30 and I'm going to have to go to work tomorrow. And then, when I get home, I have to get the kids ready","so I'm saying, you know, what I say, I've got a lot of, you know, I've been thinking a lot about you know, this, like, like, I want","I am thinking of what I did in school today. I don't know what it was but I was thinking about the way I was making things look a certain way in the c","you know that we had to talk about it, you know, that we had to like have the conversation and then you had to, you had to like put in an action plan ","and we need to go down into the tunnel. We are going to go down. And then we are going to open it up and we're going to have a conversation and we're ","the big question, I think, is, is, you know, will this change in the law, which we've already spoken about, of, you know, if, if the government, if","and you see the idea that's like you have to have a common language, and this is common, you know, language, right? Like, you know you have to do, you","I'm thinking about my class. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to be teaching next time, because I don't think it's going to be a linear progres","the sky is blue, the grass is green and it's raining outside. I'm reading this book called, uh, a guy, it's a book about, uh, the first guy that figur","you can get a lot of insight from that. The more you listen to your thoughts, the more you'll find out what's really important to you and what isn't. ","I've been thinking about the time when the president of the United States of America got his master's degree from the University of London, and he was","it's the only way you can tell if it's going to be a bad day. If you can see a lot of black clouds, you know there's going to rain, you know it's","and there was this one time at school, it was like a big exam or something and I just couldn't think, like I had nothing to do, no answers. It was lik","I remember that. I know. That's it. It's a bit of an odd situation, is it not? The problem is, it's not my fault, but the responsibility rests with me","what I do I don't do, and it doesn't do anything, and I don't know why I do it, because I can't explain it. And it's always something. I always","I was going to say a man with no friends, but that's not quite it. He has no friends, that's the main thing, but he doesn't just have no friends. That","it's always there in a sense, that is to say, it's not a feeling of being in a trance but a feeling of a distance between you and the thing you're doi","and so I'm thinking about the fact that there is no real existence for anything but the flow of consciousness, and I think that all those things that ","and I can't make it make sense to me because I'm so close to it but I don't feel any connection to it. And I'm really quite confused by it. It doesn't","And I'm very worried about the future of the planet. I mean, I have this really vivid sense of a world in which we're going to be, in the long run, ex","and he's sitting there, and he says, 'I want to go somewhere else, I want to go to New York City.' He's thinking of doing a one-man show, a traveling ","the past is a river. I used to believe it was a river, and I used to know it, but I know it no longer. It is a stream of moments. I can no longer","I was in a pub in Belfast and I was talking to somebody and he said, 'you know, it's interesting the way the word is changing over the centuries. 'Aul","I can see him now. He's walking past me, with his long white beard and his red hat on. He's wearing a very old suit. He's coming from somewhere in the","and now I'm going to find myself in the middle of a place where there is a man, I don't know why, and a man is sitting by a lamp, a man is walking dow","and I remember the time we went out on a boat on the River Thames, and I was having this terrible pain, and the other people were saying: 'Are you all","the old days. When we were little we would have games, when I was very little we would play around and I would get the balloon and he would throw it a","it's been a long time since I saw my grandparents. The last time they came to stay was when they were visiting us here in Canada and stayed for a coup","it's a kind of meditation. But I'm not used to it, because I don't like to think. I think I'm used to it because my father died when I was ten and my","I'm in the library with a group of people. A guy in the group is talking about going on the plane, to be there on a Friday, and I'm thinking that I mi","I am thinking about that book I am reading, 'The Little Prince' by Antoine de Saint Exupรฉry. I am going to read it again, I can't wait! I am reading","the more we are, the less we are. I wonder what would have been possible in a different context. Perhaps the way in which we have grown up has made it","I'm a woman of a certain age. I have my own feelings, I have my concerns. I have a lot of experience, I have a great deal of experience. I feel that t","I've heard, that the best way to overcome something you fear is to face it, because in this way it can be turned into something else. I do not believe","a lot of people who know a lot about psychology, some of the most interesting, brilliant things that can be said, they say 'I can't say these things b","it's like, I feel like I can see myself in my dreams. And when I go to sleep, it's as if there's a dream, as if it's going to come to life","And if I were to get into this, and this is something that I'm afraid of, and something I've been thinking about, is if I were a little bit more self-","what do I do? What do I do now? I can't let this go. I can't make the decision to go and do something because I feel like I'm going to go and start","and if they don't listen to your voice and you can't do anything to convince them, it's very, very difficult. But we need to do that, to make it happe","and what would happen if I was just a spectator in my own life. It would be nice, it would be easy. I wouldn't be in the way. I would just be watching","[the participant] was thinking about how the world is becoming more and more a virtual place. It was becoming more and more important to be online all","we were in the city, and there was a lot of people around us... we saw a guy who was getting beaten up in front of us, and we knew it was a guy who ha","I can't sleep well, I can't be bothered to sleep well. I'm tired of work, I've been working for so long. I can't go on any more, it's really","the sky is black and the stars are out and I'm trying to get to sleep but I don't know what to do. I keep on thinking about how I could get more money","I'm going to get to be a writer some day. I'm going to be a poet or a novelist. I don't know yet. I've always liked books. I've been reading them","I am afraid, but I don't want to cry. I'm not going to cry. It's not the right time to cry. But I'm afraid, I am afraid, I'm afraid","and I was sitting on the floor, and I was trying to tell you, you know, like, I was trying, and I couldn't, because I was like, I'm not supposed to","I had a dream that I was a little kid and I had to find my mother and I was trying to find her and I kept seeing little animals and there was a little","I had an idea. I could make my life easier. I could stop being in so many places. I could stay home, and go to the library, and read there, and eat th","the things you do to yourself, and what you do with the things that you do to others, and what they do to you. Like this, I'm thinking, what would hap","and, then, and then I will...you know, when I'm a little bit older, I'm going to have a daughter. And I'm going to love her so much. I'm","I'd like to go to the movies. I'm going to see the new one with the twins and maybe I'll go to a play with you. I'm so glad you're here, I","I'm really tired, you know. I feel like I can't concentrate. And I keep forgetting things, like my appointment tomorrow. It's like my brain is just no","what we were talking about was the end of the world. ...we're going to get hit by a comet. ...We're going to be wiped out, it's going to be awful. ...","I think I'd like to have a new dog. I mean I always thought that I'd have a dog, but I think it would be nice if I actually had one now. I mean my","I want to talk about my family. I want to tell you what they're like. My mother, she's just an amazing woman, she's a great person. She's a good wife ","you know that, if you were going to take this up again, that you would do the same thing with the same people again, and the same people are not the s","and I'm sitting on a little stool next to a big tree. The tree is all branches and leaves and everything and then you're sitting right next to it and ","and what they don't see, they just keep seeing what they do see. They don't have to keep seeing what the people don't see. So if we don't see anybody,","I'm working on a project, and it's a big one, and I don't want to do it anymore. I'm so tired of it, and I'm so far behind I don't","you know, you see, I'm really kind of worried about, you know, you know that, the, the, you know I, I mean, I feel like it's it's like","I have been thinking about all this stuff about my mother dying and everything that has been going on. And I think about how she was the one that intr","I know I'm going to be with you a long time, and we'll have lots of fun, I guess. But the fun won't last. I mean, there's always going to be","And I'm in my office, and I have a lot of things on the wall, and I'm thinking about this painting I did of my brother. It was a painting of the two o","it's hard to think of all the things that come up in here, so it's really hard to have a good summary of the whole session, but I can give you some ex"],["and then I'll have to write the other half of this and then I'll go back to the first half and say, well, you know, let's go back and say that we did ","And then the other guy goes, 'yeah, I could get into that.' So he says, 'I know, what I think we should do is we should do this. We could try that","there were a bunch of little white girls that were really cute, and one of them was wearing a very pretty dress. And they were sitting in a little row","and I went back to my room and got a couple of towels and I went out to the pool and I'm thinking, 'You're in this predicament, you can't do anything ","and this is where I came across the word 'flam' and that was interesting, because when I was a kid we had that little lamp that was the flam, which is","I mean, I can't see how you could do that, right? I'm thinking, if it was, like, in the newspaper, you would see a picture of, of, uh,","and there's the end of the world...oh, God, I'm going to die...oh my god...oh my...I can't breathe...I can't...I can...I can","it's just not there. It's just not coming. It's not there. I mean, I know. I've just gotta think it. It's got to come out somehow. And then","and then he...oh, it's going to be alright, it's not going to be a...oh, I'm gonna fall asleep in here, I'm not going to fall asleep, I","The feeling that the world was coming to an end... that it was about to change, that something was going to happen that was going to change everything","I've got an idea. I need to find the place where I live. I think I left it in the car. I'll go back there. I'll walk out the back door, then","I think the reason we have a lot of pain in this world, is because people don't see that it's a system. And they don't see how it works. It's not just","I'm worried about the next election. And that's a lot of people are getting mad at me. And that's not a good thing. And it's not a good sign for the f","if you don't believe it's important, it's not important... I would say that, that's what we need. So I would say, for example, if you had a child that","And I think that a lot of people, though, are going to look at this and say, 'Well, this is just a bunch of people, so therefore, this is not a very a","so I think that one of the things that could be done in the future is we could get people who are experts in all the different fields that have been s","and that's the way I want to be. But it's like the way the world is, I mean, I don't like to go to places where I've never been before. It's","there's a lot of interesting stuff happening there, you know. And you're seeing it, you're not seeing it, it's a very confusing thing. But if you just","[a]ll the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many par","this is what I would call a first order system, if it wasn't so dangerous and unstable, and not necessarily one that could be controlled by the indivi","I feel the need to make a decision. I'll be damned if I'm going to be sitting here, thinking. I think it's about the same to just to shut up and think","I can't find it. The whole time we've been doing this, the thing that's really nagging me is that the things I've written down are not really my thoug","And then I'm going to come back here, and I'm going to leave and do that. And then I'm coming back to do that. I'm going to do that and I'm not","I was in a room. It was a big room. It had a long wall. A man was in the room. He had a book in his hand. He was sitting there, and he","and, I suppose it's a good thing I can't remember the rest of it. I was reading this book in which a girl went to a hotel and found a woman who'd comm","I've done a lot of traveling in this part of the world...a lot of places in the Midwest...and I'm not a tourist, I'm not out to see the sights. I'm","I see a blue sky and clouds that are dark and there are tall trees. This is my picture. And there's a waterfall. Oh my God! I'm in the middle of a wat","I want to know why people don't know their own names. How does it happen? It's like this: when you say the word 'aunt', it's aunt in your brain, but","I'm thinking, 'I don't know'...I don't see the big picture...I don't want to look at the whole picture...I want to look through the details and the pi","I'm lying on the bed. I'm looking up at the ceiling. I think I'm a little cold. I'd like to wear a hat but I can't find my hat. I don","you know, there are a lot of things you should be doing right now... but you're not. Because it's all so confusing... so many things competing for you","I think I'd better go home...It's getting late, and I can't take anymore of these people, and I'm getting tired, too, and I've got to stop being a lia","a bird... a bird that has lost its way, a dove, a dove... a dove... it is so beautiful. It is in the snow, it is so cold, it is... a","I don't think so, no I don't think I would mind that. It's only for three days. But the train journey will be horrible. It'll be just awful. There'll ","the house in which I lived when I was young; in which I was brought up; the house in which my mother died and in which we moved and in which I grew up","a long time ago I had a dog. A small one, a Jack Russell terrier. My grandmother had a Jack Russell, and she gave him to me. We had the dog for many y","I'm sorry, I've been wrong all along. It's not the woman that I was married to, it was the man I was married to. I can't believe I have been so wrong","I'm not really sure whether to marry him, because, I mean, he is not in the least bit like me. He's very nice, very well-mannered and all that, but","And I think we should try to keep our families together as long as we can. I was very close to my parents. They were good people. They loved me. They ","And it's not the first time I've thought of it, I think, when I was going to school, I was just in the sixth grade, we had a new girl in school, and","I have a friend who's a big fat one, and she's very good at cooking, and I had a great time last week, I think she'll be cooking again tonight. We hav","you know, I remember this is the third time this has happened, and it's so weird. I remember you had a conversation with me on the phone, I was going ","and the other day I was driving down the road with my husband and he asked me about my life and I said well I don't think that I've been that happy...","I'm having a meeting in London in 2003 with someone who's a professor at Oxford, and she's going to come here, and she wants me to go to Oxford to tal","[The person] I'm going to see in the morning. The person that I'm going to meet. My, it's, uh, it's one of those. One of the things that","and then we would have been able to do, you know, like the first season, which was very good, very successful, and then we would be able to do the sec","and you have to write about it? ... You write it down and then you send it? ... Oh, okay. It's not like you just have to write it down. ... Well, then","I want to know what's happening. ... I've been wanting to know that for a long time. ... [The person] is the one that's the key to it. ... He's the","I'd like to make a list of what I need to do in order to get to the place where I'd be able to begin writing a book. That's the goal. Now I need to","I don't know what I'm doing. I'm looking at the wall. I don't know how this is going to go. I'm kind of sitting here. I think I need a pen","there are so many things in my life. My mother was so supportive, that I've had no trouble in any of my classes. I think it's been a lot of hard work.","And that's what it was. It was a really weird dream, though. So, I dreamt that I was a horse and I had a rider. And this rider was a girl and I","and I think they are all dead. No, no. No, that's not what I said. No, I wasn't saying that they're all dead, but they're all gone. All","I remember when we first met in a party in Amsterdam, in the seventies...I met you in a party, in Amsterdam, and you told me about your problems and h","and then I remember when I was 10, when I was on the way to a meeting of my father's, we were stopped at the roadblock...and my mother was crying and ","and we got it done. I can't wait to tell you about it. I was thinking, oh, well, maybe I'll have to get a new one for the front. I don't","and what else? Oh, that's it, and we also have a new branch in our family. We've got a sister-in-law that's moving out to Dallas, so she's getting a","I think it was last year that I took the trip to the Catskills. I think that I did. I didn't know when I was there that I would have that wonderful ex","I've been thinking about the girls. I've had to tell them that we're moving. I said, 'We're leaving tomorrow,' and they said, 'But when are we going t","I have a very strong sense of well-being in my own skin, but I know that it's a very fragile thing to have it so strong, because if there was anything","I'm thinking about my last meeting with the Bishop and the priest and the Bishop and all the other priests and I'm thinking, how could it be that they","it's always been there, you know, that desire to take that next step. You know, like, I think I always had to be doing something. You know I'm always ","I'm looking at my little daughter. She's a really beautiful kid. I love her so much. She's always so sweet to me. I just think that she'll have a grea","It's not about the little details. I think it's about the bigger things, like how the government works and what it's all about. That's the real story.","this is the same thing with the dream that I had two years ago, where I went down, to the bottom of a well, and I was able to go to the bottom, and I ","The first time I had to give an interview in a press conference and I was very nervous and I couldn't really answer and so, it was like a nervous brea","And there I was. I'm trying to think of where I was when that happened. But I remember being in a room where it was very quiet, with a lot of other pe","what is the point in feeling sorry for myself when I feel sorry for myself? There's no point in feeling bad about myself, because it doesn't make me b","I wonder whether people who think their own thoughts are false, and therefore are afraid, have to have that belief. I wonder what it's like to think t","I'm sitting here on the floor, and I'm looking up at a wall, and I don't see anything. I'm staring at the wall. It's very white, very shiny. And","a lot of images, it's the same as a dream, but it's not a dream. It's something more real. It's like you're there, you know, you see yourself like","this is what I want to talk about. It is about...about my childhood and my feelings about it. It is a mixture. I have mixed feelings. I have negative ","And then he's so strong and... (he's so strong) he's so... (strong) He's so strong in his own way. He's so, so strong. He's strong","this was a guy named the Captain, he was like a captain in a ship... he was a very bad man, and he was a terrible man, but at the same time he was an ","I have to say that this is the most frightening thing I have ever felt. It is a sensation that I do not understand. I feel as if I have lost something","It's a long time ago. But I don't know if I've forgotten. I think that I've forgotten, but I think also that I'll forget some more. And I don't think","it's a story I don't like; it's a story that I want to be able to see that you can't see. You have to go into your own self. You have to look","a little boy in a small village... I would go there, I would be able to... go there... to look around. I would find that little boy. I don't know why ","but you can see it, and it doesn't have to be in your mind. It's not like it's not real, but you don't have to live it, it doesn't go with","a bit of an overestimate, if you ask me. You've got to take into account how many people would be willing to do it. Some might find it interesting eno","And you can't even see the bottom of the pot. I was thinking about how the bottom is probably a little bit like my body, that I'm at the bottom of it,","and if it was the right thing to do, then I'm glad we did it. It was just the right thing, and it was the wrong thing, it was the just thing, and the","I guess you could say, I've never thought of it that way. I mean, I guess there are people who do, but I've never really thought about it that way mys","I see a little girl. I'm not sure if she's real or not. She's white. And I'm sitting there, I'm in my own mind, but she's talking to me","you know, if you really think about it, the way we were going, that's why I was talking about that. That's why I wasn't thinking about anything else, ","there were the people who were killed by the bomb. There was the girl who was killed and the little girl. The boy that they were holding there. Then t","it's funny that you're telling me all that, because I was going to tell you something, too. I'm not going to say it. I'm going to keep it to myself. I","I see a huge piece of land, a lot of grass, some kind of a huge circle. A circle in the middle of the field, maybe. Or something like that. And I see ","my mind just went blank, and then I began to have a lot of thoughts about the children that I'm raising. I have a little boy, six years old, and a lit","I have an idea! I'll make a really good salad with that lettuce. It would be good for breakfast! It would be wonderful. It would be so good. You'd lov","and it's like, you know, I'm like, 'OK, I have to tell them something.' I mean, I can't just say, 'Well, we don't want to have","And if I'd never found the man, then I'd have had to kill him, I suppose, in order to get what I wanted. Because if I hadn't been able to get his mone","it's not that I want to see you, I just think about you a lot, but not like that, not like that. I don't know what to say to you. I know we","[w]hich is my point, I think, that I don't have to do anything about it. It's not my fault. I don't do anything about this, you know?","it's something that I've been doing for a long time, I guess, and I don't think it's that bad, it's really just the idea that people have a hard time,","I had to tell the guy who I told not to come back, that I couldn't wait any longer. He'd be back within a few months. I'd have to tell him. And I","and then the first of them, she got on the stage. And they were going to give her a hug, but it was like a hug, and then it was like an embrace. And i","I can't see how I could ever really do that again. I mean, I was pretty high back then, right? So I think I'd probably be a little crazy. And I can't","I think I'd really be better off if I just moved to Florida or something. It would be nice, I mean, you know, it's a pretty warm place, and I know the","so what do you think? And he's like 'well what about this' - he was talking about some guy that was a pilot that he was supposed to talk to, he wasn't","so when I was looking at the last time that I was out to lunch, that's when I got a chance to go outside and see the new, you know, the new people tha","I think I should have stayed here for a little bit longer. I've got all the stuff here that I want to do, and I thought I would take it with me and go","and now I'm going to say some things that I know I've said a thousand times before, but I think it's really important to say them, that is that if you","and then I started to think, I think it's called, 'I'm not a fan of this anymore' because I've just had so many arguments with people who I know that ","what I would say is I'm going to get some sleep tonight, and if you're going to do that, I'm going to do it, and if I get up, you know, and","and I think that's what we have to do, I think, that we have to get our kids involved. I don't know why we're so afraid to do that. I think that it","I'm not going to be a success at anything, you know, if I'm still thinking that I'm not a success at something. I'm just trying to get out of this thi","I don't want to be a mother anymore, it's the worst thing I ever did. I was a good mother but then I became a bad mother. I don't like my kids. I","And then I know you're right. I know I'm wrong. You're right. You're the one who can help me, and I'll try to go back to you, but I'm","it's like I can't remember my parents. I feel like a stranger in my own body...I want to take away the world, to make it better. But there's no way, n","I'd like to see a world without money. I want to see a society where everyone is equal and everyone is happy. But I know it's not possible. Because th","I see them now, the people that I've killed, the ones that I've tortured, the ones I've done bad things to... I can still see them, see what I did to ","what I mean by this is that it is very difficult to be free in any society. You cannot just say what you want. I mean, I'm not talking about a nation,","I know a man who was in a bad position, so I feel sorry for him. I know a man whose wife has gone to a different man, I feel sorry. I know men who wer","so we've got to have the same thing in both of our minds...I think we'll both do the same thing...if they should send a message to us. I've got a mess","and she came to him with her hands, she said to him, 'give me to eat,' and he said, 'I have nothing to give you.' ...She took him by his clothes and","Now I have a whole bunch of words, a whole bunch that I just can't find a place in. I don't know what to do with them. And I am thinking, how did it","and the only thing I think is that that's very easy for me. That's what I want to do is I want to have the freedom to be able to do that. And I want t","you know, I've been thinking, I have a list of people who are interested in buying my stuff and I want to find out how much they're willing to pay me ","I was working on a project for the City of London Council. It was a project called London's Future. And I was asked to develop a process to help the C","I can see this, it's not just that I have a desire to have an opinion, I have a responsibility to have an opinion. It's not just that. We need to look","I think you can do a little bit better. I think I want to be more proactive. I think you've got a good system; it's just that you need to be more pro-","the more you go through it, and then you see it, you know you don't want to do it, and you keep on doing it, because you've done it for so long. So","and we all have these little problems in our lives, right, but they are very, very small in comparison to the big problem, which is that the big probl","and I could have a better way of living my life, but I don't want to change it because it would be like changing a little bit of a pattern in my life,","and now you're talking to me, and you're just there, and you don't know where you are or where I am... or why you're talking... and I don't know what ","what happened to me? I am the only one in the world? It's not that. It's not only that. I'm not the only one. I'm not just that. It happened","there was this guy who, um, um... I had a dream last night about this guy and he... he... I... I was a prisoner or a slave or something and he was the","you don't have to be able to do anything if you want to. And I don't want to have to do anything that I don't have the time to do. I don't really want","but I do have a question for you, and it's the following. Let's say I have a friend, and this friend, in his childhood, was kidnapped and killed, and ","I remember, my mom and dad used to have a big backyard and I was about two and we were playing, like, hide and seek. And I remember this one time I we","it's not good for people to get angry, angry. I know that. I just don't like that. I don't like it. I don't think that's a good thing to get","the movie, 'The Big Lebowski'. There's this character who's a sleazy biker, and he has this girlfriend who he's not having sex with. She's like, '","and so, I have this thing in me, I guess I have this little bit of a thing, I don't know how to explain, but it's like, it's not a virus,","I was just going to say, in your job, like, if you had like a bad day, I mean, I'm like, well, what the fuck would be your bad day? You","the girl in my class. And the teacher was like, I don't know if you can do this. So I'm like, I'm good at this, like you're not gonna see me","I can't believe you're going to be in a situation like this where I've just been thinking about it. I don't know why I haven't gotten to the point whe","[I]t was just...yeah, I think that's what happened. I think, when you look at, you know, you look at the way that a person looks, like, I","I don't like to be called a scientist. I'm not a scientist. I don't know what a scientist is. But I know I am a scientist. When I do my research and I","[w]ell, I know I know, that there's got to be something I do. I'm going to be a mother, I'm going to have to do something, I'm gonna","And I was wondering. Well, it's been a while, but I remember you. You know, you're a very lucky person, because you're so beautiful. You know that, ri","I don't want to die. I don't. I'm going to try to live. And I want to be a good mother to the kids. I want to make sure they are okay.","I'm looking forward to it. I've got a friend coming for supper and a movie at the end of it. It'll be great to go out. I don't think she's ever been","And so he's going to get the rest of his stuff, too. That's right. He's going to stay and get his stuff. Because that's where they said we could go, t","and then I want to go home and watch my favorite movie and then I can sleep. I'm so glad I got off early. I'm gonna go home and call my mother, tell h","there's a really funny song that I've heard on the radio, but I can't remember the name of the person who's singing it. And it's a really catchy song,","I was going to say the other day...I was going to look on this website. ...I'm going to look at the website for the best deals and stuff. ...I was goi","The sound is very strange, a deep rumble that I have to concentrate on to hear. The room is really quiet, too quiet. I hear a soft voice on the TV. It","I've got an idea, let's go back to the beginning... and it's like that old movie, the first one they showed in the theatre... the first one, they had ","and this is when I'm having fun with the keyboard. I'm trying to make the words work, I'm not going to do it any more than that. I'm not really gettin","And I'm still in that car with my father, but I don't want to drive. I want to go to the station and get the bus, but he won't do it. He wants","a little girl, she is running. She is running. There's a dog. There's some other kids. There's lots of kids. There was a little girl, and she was runn","the sound of the wind. That was a very beautiful sound. Like a bird. That's a bird. I'm in the rain forest. It was beautiful, I thought I saw it, a","a word... a word... well, I've seen an eagle today, I think, in the park. Well, I'm sitting in my car, and I think about the park. There's","a very nice idea, a very nice idea. And then it occurs to me that I haven't got my hat, and that's a problem. I'm going to have to go and look for","I have a car and a motorcycle. The motorcycle has a basket on the back, and a thing, a seat, on the front of the car. I'm in the car and I have a","the word is a beautiful word, I'm on the phone, and I'm saying, 'yes, yes.' And I hear my mother's voice, and I think, 'why did you say","a little bit later. I was a little bit younger, maybe ten years younger, and I was, um, I was taking a walk down the beach, and this guy was walking b","there's a group of guys I'm going to be hanging around. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'll tell you what it'll be like. We'll have a little picnic","there's another way of looking at it and that's...you know, there's a couple of reasons that I think it's probably the right way...because I was wonde","and it's almost like in the morning, when you're getting ready for work and you're taking your coffee and you're like, 'OK, let's get on with it.' And","it was like that yesterday. And then I woke up, and I was like, I've got a lot of stuff to do. And I got up and I went to the office. And then","the feeling of being watched, you know, being watched when you're walking through the neighborhood, you know... I mean, it's just this feeling... you ","the other day, I was taking a shower and I had this thought, I mean I have these thoughts that are like I don't know how to describe them, they're lik","so I think I've made some progress in the sense that I'm noticing more. And I've started to wonder more about the experience of noticing, so I'm think","so that was it, I had a lot of thoughts going on but not a lot of good ones. So, that's kind of the point of this, I'm trying to see what I'm","you're a little bit worried, and you're not sure what to do, because you're a little worried that you'll miss the meeting or you'll be late, but you'r","I think the way they (the women) get there [the top of the mountain] is to put on their masks. I mean the way they act on the outside. And the way the","[A]lmost a year ago I was at [the] New York restaurant and I saw a guy, who's the one guy, you know, I mean, I saw him when I","and then you would be a lot less worried, if you thought about it, about all the stuff you think about, because you know there's not any reason for yo","I was trying to get something out of it. Like what the hell is this about? This is about some kind of life in the universe. What do they know about it","my feet were in the snow and I had to get back to the car because I was late and I was wearing this skirt and it was 35 degrees outside and I was like","[I'm] thinking of a guy. Oh my god, [he's] beautiful. That's why he's not around. He's too beautiful. He's a good person. He's","I'm doing this because it's good for me. Because it's good. Because it keeps me busy, you know? It gives me something to do. It keeps me from sitting ","[My husband's] trying to get the money that he owes back on the car. And [he's] not paying me because he owes me money. We've been through that before","[i]t's like the old joke about the two guys on the road... one guy says, 'I was going to New Orleans for a week, but now it looks like it's going","and now, you know, we are going to start getting our children out here, so we'll get a place to rent. And, and, you know, I can't go out there and","I have to leave early, I don't want to be here, it's not right, it's not the way it should be, but it is what it is. It's like this,","and I have been thinking about a guy I know, you know, he's kind of an idiot. He's got a couple of kids, a boy and a girl and he's got this problem","I'd have a really good time, though I don't think you would. I mean, I just don't see yourself. I can't imagine you doing anything, or liking anything","it's hard to explain it, you know, 'cause when I say it to someone, they don't get it. I don't know, 'cuz maybe they're too smart for me","I'd been thinking about you, you know, you're on my mind, I don't know. I'm trying to think of a way to say something, something nice, like how beauti","the only person that I like is you. Because you don't criticize me, you don't talk down to me. I think you are an incredible person, and you know I li","so we're going to find out, uh, that the human body is made up of two different chemicals, and we have a whole lot of the same ones that make up every","And what is it that is causing you to worry? It's not important. I have to do it because I'm interested in it. It's not like I'm just saying: 'I don","what would happen if you had a house full of people all playing? Like, it would be like the most...I'm not sure. Like if it was a very small, very, ve","I don't want to live in a city. I don't want any part of it. I donโ€™t want to go to school. I donโ€™t even want to go out to school. That","I don't know if that was a thought I was thinking or what. It was like some sort of a message that came through, but I couldn't tell you what it was. ","I'll have to get up early in the morning, but I'll go to bed late at night, so I'll be tired. I can't sleep, so I will probably be more tired.","I can't think about this, I'm not concentrating. I want to go to sleep, I want to wake up, I want ... I'm here, I can't think of anything. I","[I]t's the same thing as a thought. You know, it's the same as a thought, it's not the same, because when you have a thought, you have to make","I was driving the other day. And then I was thinking about this and then I had this other thought and it came up with the thought. And then, I was thi","I've been trying to think about the ways that I think about things, and trying to think of the things that I think, and the ways that I'm thinking. Li","you can't always control how you'll respond. Some times you just sort of have a response you're going to have and it's just going to be the way it is ","I am thinking about something. I have a feeling that I should say that it is something about myself, that this is a self-reflective thought. I am thin","what is it to be free and what is it to choose? ...to be free is to be able to choose or to do, to make something of your life; to be free is to have","I am going to do a little bit of this and a little bit of that. But then I'll stop. But then there's going to be something else. So what I do is to de","And I have that feeling that I want to have sex. I'm like, well, I've always wanted to have sex, so why not have sex? And I want to have an orgasm.","I've got to tell you something, I can't talk about it, I don't know how, but I just have to tell you, I've been thinking about something, and I've got","I can see her, you know, when she's not wearing the hat. But that's not her. I can see her and she's not her, you see, and I don't know","I've got a theory here, you know. It's this... It's the first one, so it's a special case. It's got something to do with the way that... Well,","and that's it. Now, what's that going to lead to? A, I think, there's no way I'm going to go through and analyze that, I'm going to just leave","The other thing about that is I can't go back. If I could go back, then I could see what I really wanted to say, and what I really was trying to say. ","I was wondering, I'm wondering about how much my memory really matters in my life, and I wonder if I am just the way I am. I'm thinking about that rig","I'm trying to think about this. I wonder what this is really about. I'm not sure that I believe that this is a serious thing, though it certainly is s","I'm really getting this, what is it? The right word is getting, right, and you're really getting something, or maybe not getting it, and it's not quit","And then I have a very bad feeling that this will all go into nothing, and then you see I'm starting to think about a lot of things, I have to remembe","the thought of someone else's death, but I don't know, I don't feel anything in particular. I think this is what it's like to be alive, you know. I do","it was really the same, the same thing that was happening, and it's not that I'm not experiencing this, it's just that I'm...I'm experiencing it, but ","I'm saying to myself, I'm in an existential crisis. I am living life, but it's a completely different thing. I have a plan to go and study and I'm wor","the more we develop our awareness of this process, we become aware of how this process is going to affect our life. How the more we develop awareness ","And I've heard that, actually, I've been taught that, as far as the brain, the left brain is the thinking brain. The left brain is where thoughts, pla","it's the thing, it's the thing that comes up from within, that you're in, and that you're the part of, and that is the way you experience life and wha","I can't understand why it is so hard to remember, because there's nothing that we call the process of remembering. Memory is a part of everything that","[W]hen you are working on a problem, you are trying to figure out something that is unclear, or to find out something that you don't know. So it's kin","what I have here is a kind of a description of the way the mind works, in terms of an abstract way of thinking about how it works. And so I'm sort of ","I'm a man. I've been a man my whole life, but I don't really know what that means. What it means to be a man. Because it's not something that is very","it's like when you were in your teenage years and you just ... you were trying to make sense out of your own life and your own self and then you didn'","and it's so wonderful and it's so scary that there are people who have access to this knowledge. And who can control this knowledge. People have alway","I'm so confused, you know. I feel like I have to do a lot of things to be a good person, to be a responsible person, to live a good life, and yet I","I've been thinking about how difficult it is for a person who is in the process of rethinking to stay in the process. You can't just stay in the proce","I'm reading the book on the brain, which is by a scientist, and it's not that I've ever seen someone's brain. I've never seen someone's body in that d","the reason I wanted to do that is because it's actually a problem in my life that I've been having. I have a certain problem with a certain relationsh","I have to think about how to respond. You know, I can't be so aggressive, and I can't, I'm going to have to, I'm going to try to be diplomatic.","I'm thinking about the other night when you asked me if I would ever marry you and I said no. I don't know if I've ever told you this, but the fact th","I'm glad that we have this opportunity here. I mean, it's an opportunity for people to think. To think and to be aware of what they are thinking, to t","I'm at my mother's house... I'm with my mother... I'm working for her in the garden, picking flowers. I don't know why. I don't have any flowers to pi","I was thinking about... about the first time I... first time I started learning... learning how to... how to... [laughs] I don't know how to say... ho","I've been thinking a lot about the two of you, you know? ... We've got so much going for us, you know. ... You are my first love, you know, and I","I remember I was thinking about that, 'cause I was thinking of how people always have this 'thing' or something. I mean, there's this kind of like, yo","I have a dog. A dog. I've got a dog. Oh, I do. He's a little girl. A little dog. She's a little dog. I used to have a","and I said 'oh, okay, I guess I'm not supposed to do it' because I said it was just like a little test or something...and so I just left it there and ","my hair is blonde, and I like my hair. I can't tell if my hair is blonde or black. I mean I've got like little bits of blonde hair but like I said, I","and the woman was just, just, she was just sitting there. She was just sitting... it was just so pretty, she just sat there like a statue. She was lik","it's always... like a dream, you know, I like the dream, I don't like the dream. I'm going to find a dream. I want to find a dream, so I","I was just thinking that I'm trying to make sense of some things right now and trying to do the research for this book that I'm working on and trying ","[t]he train of thought was not interrupted by my wanting to think or not think about a certain thing. The thoughts were coming through in a certain or","it's so weird that it's not you, it's a part of you, you're not the person who has this thought, you're just a spectator watching someone else, and yo","And so, I'm thinking of this, this...I've thought of a lot of things lately, but this is different than what I've been thinking before. I've thought b","this is the stuff of the soul, the essence of the human experience, it's so interesting to listen to someone speak their own mind. We're all so afraid","I'm thinking about the people I met here yesterday. I have no idea what was in my head. I had to be in the room to have that experience. I remember th","I think about all the people that are in our life, the people we meet and all the people we leave behind. There are these people in our lives that we ","I had a very strange experience last night. It was my birthday. I was in a bar, I was having a drink with some of my closest friends. And we were just","it's been a long time since I've had that. I feel good. And I feel like I've got my head back. I've got everything back. I had all my limbs. And","the entire, whole thing, which has a lot to do with the question of what we do with our bodies, we do with the body of others, we do to other bodies, ","you know, I don't have to say anything to you, and you don't have to do anything to me, and we can be together without anything being said, or we can ","And now the question arises, is this the end of the process? ... And I say no, this is not the end of it. Because here, in the beginning, I could have","and the point is that we have no reason to suppose that we don't have a right to experience as we do experience, so that we have to give up this kind ","I have a thought that I could take some of these principles and apply them to the problem of, how does one get a mathematical proof that is not an art","a word. I think of a word: a word that I do not know. I don't know if it's a noun or a verb; I don't have any information about it. I","It was like this: you had an idea and you were trying to get to the other side of a river and you had a raft made out of your ideas and then you tried","in the middle of the street and there's no place to go except to turn left or turn right. You have to turn left, the next street has a big, broad road","And so if I had to say something, I would have to say something about the situation. I am not very comfortable in this position. I am a little uncomfo","I've been having thoughts about what I want to say. I don't know whether they're coherent or not. I want to go back to the other place and go back to ","and I have a memory of a conversation with you, some time ago, and you were talking about a certain man. It is a person I know. In that conversation y","so that, in a way, the fact that the other people had come to the place where you were is a guarantee of your safety. You had no way of knowing whethe","and what can be done about that?...We can change things so that things are more or less like this, but then the next thing is, how are we going to mak","I was thinking of a famous painting: 'The Last Supper' in which Christ is sitting with his disciples. And I was wondering whether that would be the ri","that's not bad. We're a very busy society. There are no other means of transportation. We don't have to have cars because we have trains. People can l","I've had a lot of thoughts about the future of humanity in this century and I think it's going to be very grim. In some sense we're already doomed, bu","the light is really coming, that is the important thing. The light, that is what is coming, the light, the light is coming...I'm on the right track. I","you know, it's all very interesting, what we see happening here. But I'd be interested in knowing what is it that has caused you to do these things? I","you know, you have to ask yourself, 'what is the purpose of this activity?'. I am going to get off to a good start by saying, 'I do not know'. It's","we have a long history of trying to figure out what kind of relationship there is between the two types of thinking...and if you look at the research,","the person that I love has been a huge influence in my life. My mother... it was not her fault but the way that she raised me was very unconventional.","and then you have the children and you have the kids, you know. You're going to raise them, and you're going to send them off to college, and they're ","and the next day, when you woke up, and you went to bed, and I said, you know, I'm not gonna have any kids, I just don't wanna have kids, I","And so the last time I saw you, I was going to ask you, you know, are you going to come to New York, are you coming to New York for a while? ... And","I went to a school where my father used to work. There was an old school, and there were old buildings around, and there was a small river, and there ","and I remember it was my dad, who was there and he was watching it on TV. And he was telling me, 'oh my God, you know, you should have seen the look o","it's just an old trick of the devil, to use his own people to destroy them. But we must not allow our own children to be made to suffer for the sins o","it's a bit of a pity because I was looking forward to the week...to the fact that I've got a week off work, and I'm not going to be in the office for ","It's like being a kid again. It's like that when you're a kid and your parents aren't looking. It's good for your soul, isn't it, it's good for your","I'm very much of a practical nature, I don't worry about stuff, I'm not interested in abstract ideas and theories. I have my own ideas but I don't go ","the one thing I've noticed since I was a child is that when I feel that I am being manipulated in any way, it has a very negative effect on me. So for","The whole of my existence was a result of my father's existence. There was something about him which was a good influence upon my character, and there","[t]his is a thought, and it is one of those things that just come into your mind that you are aware of. You can't put a label on it because it is an u","I've had a lot of time to think about this [my earlier statements about the future of the species in the long run] and to think of the various ways th","there are people who have been in the military and they are trained in a very specific way. In my case, I've been a little more fortunate because I wa","I'm also going to be doing a lot of public speaking and I'm going to be presenting at conferences. I'll be traveling a lot. I'm going to have a lot of","you know, I think that's why people are so suspicious, that is, that we tend to be suspicious of people. I think it's because they've got so many inte","and we have to go to work...and then go home, and then we have to have children...and then we have responsibilities...and I think that's really the bi","the two of them are sort of stuck in the middle of the night and it's cold outside, so I don't really want to go out, you know, it's too cold out. I","And there are people who, when they're talking on the phone, you know, they say, 'Hey, I'm going to be out of town for a while,' and they don't mean","I think I would have liked to see more of the nature, because I think the nature was the part of the country that was most interesting. I was born in ","And then you know that there was, and there's a place on the highway where there are these, there's some houses over the road, and the highway is on t","and I'm doing that right now. I don't think I'll ever see them, though. That's another thing. It's going to be so long and I'm going to be in my","my eyes are open now. And I'm looking at the light on the computer screen. And then I'm looking away and I'm looking over to the...there's a picture o","I'm just wondering... what happens, you know, in a person when they're just... just floating there. Like, what are you doing when you're floating ther","the voice is coming back and I'm not sure if I'm making it or if it's just... (pause) I'm making this sound like a song but I'm not hearing it. I","so I'm doing this think-aloud thing, and I have a sort of vague idea that I want to do a sort of summary of the things that we talked about. So I'm go","I'm here, I'm thinking, I'm on the floor, I'm lying down, I'm looking up. I can't remember what the words are. I'm thinking about something. I","and there was a dream, and the dream was that we were on a desert island, and we had a boat on the shore of the island, and I was telling someone to g","a tree, a little tree in the middle of the wood, and the birds were there, and the leaves were on it. The tree was growing, and I was there. It's grow","[I'm thinking about the] fact that my brother is going to get married next year, and my sister is going to have a baby in the summer, and it makes me ","this is a book, and this is a picture book, but this is more than a picture book; this is a book of a book, a picture book of a picture book. So I'll","I'm feeling kind of sad right now, and I've been having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, because my son is still at college, and I just ","what's funny about that? What's funny? It's funny to me. You can't really be funny unless you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing, you ","[in] the first three minutes...I thought about what I was going to eat, I was going to make a cheeseburger, I thought about the restaurant I was going","and then we come down here and we're in the room, and we have to play, and then I think I remember doing some of those things like you know, the piano","a cat in the room. He's on the bed, and he's just staring at me, like 'what's up?' You know, and I'm just sitting there, and I want to","so we have a good idea of what the kids would see if they were looking out their windows in the morning, at this point. So I could tell you what the k","I was really mad when I saw the truck, but I tried to keep my emotions out of it. I'm not sure if it's because I'm afraid I'll get caught or if it's","so I was thinking that if you were in a room and someone was shooting at you with a gun and they were going to kill you, and you wanted to save your l","I've got a girl on the other end of the line. And I don't know how to say it, but I don't think I can get through to her, you know? And she","And you've got to, you know, you've got your whole life ahead of you. And, you know what I mean? If I had just got here like this, you know? And","it's not even the thought that gets you down, it's just the fact that you've been thinking about it for the past few days. It's not the thought itself","and the only reason that I know about it is because he went to a group and he said it was because of the alcohol. He said it was the alcohol that trig","the word that came into my head, that I kept on thinking, is the word, 'injustice,' and then I started thinking about injustice, and how it makes me, ","you know I was thinking I don't know if they'd like to hear about this, you know, but I don't think they would, it'd be all right, it'd really be all","the more you read about the subjects, the less you seem to trust the people in the article...the people who are in the article, the more they seem to ","I know this is a dream. This is my life. This is where I want to be and this is where I am. But I want it to be better. I know it's not.","I was a little nervous... I was worried that I would be caught. I thought it would be a good idea if I told the truth... I didn't know... I thought ma","And I thought of this thing that happened, that my father was supposed to be coming in and then he didn't come in. It was this great disappointment, a","the other thing is that it is very difficult to see the patterns because of what I'm saying that is always on the side of the negativity. I mean you c","I'm standing in my office. I have a drawer here and I have a little table here. This table is connected to the drawer with a hinge so that when I clos","I'm on the road, I'm on the motorway. And I'm on my way home, and I'm just passing through the country. And it's a very, very quiet country.","[M]y sister is married to a guy who's 18 years younger than me. His father and his sister and brother are both dead, so there's a lot of time pressure","I know that they're going to be very excited about this. It's going to be a great opportunity for the city. It's got to be. It's something that's goin","And I guess it's time that you know, I've been doing this for a while. I've been using the computer for years, and I'm an old-time user. It's always b","it was the same as if I'd had a car crash at work, I'd had an accident. I've been there for seven years now. I know how to do a lot of things and","and I'm supposed to be a woman, but I'm not supposed to be one. I'm not a woman, I'm supposed to be... I don't know. I'm supposed to be","and I think of people who don't want to go through the same experience of my experience, of what I go through, and I don't think it's something I coul","the world. I see everything I see through the eyes of the dead. I see their eyes through my eyes, I see their memories through my eyes. Their bodies a","I can't keep this from going on, and it's a horrible thing that I've done. I'll never get over it, and I feel guilty. I'm an awful person. I don","what can I do to make it happen. I need to get to the point where I can get to the bottom of it. I need a strategy, a plan, a way to get to that","and I'm thinking, well, it would have been better to say that in the first place, I know it, but I can't really think of it now. It's like...I don","a bunch of words, I'm not even sure what they are, and then a lot of words, then a lot, and then, uh, nothing, a little silence, and then the word","a picture of the car in the garage, I mean the picture I'm thinking of, is like a car with the bumper off and the hood off and the back off and the ti","and I'm gonna tell him I'm leaving. And I'm gonna say, 'Look, I know we had a lot of problems, but you're my brother and I love you, and I","I'm gonna need to make another list. I think. I think I'm gonna have to make another one. I'm not sure. I'm trying to make one right now. I'm gonna","[i]t's like I'm an actor and I'm in a play. I know I'm not actually in the play, but I'm an audience member. And so it's like I","I'm just going to think about this thing and the way that I think it would look. I mean, I have an idea of how it would look, but I'll just... I'll ju","I've been thinking about the story about the blind man. And the blind man, the other blind man, and the other blind. It's not a great story. It's just","I'm thinking about a game we played when I was little. A game in which you pretend to be the wind, and then someone else says the word 'wind', and you","that's it. I'm here with the first of the three women in the room. They're sitting in front of me. I'm in a very small room. I'm not quite sure what","and this is what I said yesterday on the way to work, just as I was getting in the car. 'How come, all of a sudden, the doorbell rang and it was your ","[I am] lying here, with a book, looking at the clock, thinking about you. [I'm thinking about] whether the book is interesting or not. It's very inter","a big lump of red, which is probably an apple, I'm guessing, I can't see it too well, but it's an apple. It's got a stem in front of it,","I know you can't see me, but I'm sitting here. I'm sitting on the bed and I'm in a room and there's a window, and I see the sky and it's","so now what you're saying is that, you know, if you just start over again, but you don't make mistakes. It's not like you're trying to remember someth","[a]nyone could do that and not be me, but it's me. It's not anyone else. That's me. There's this I, and that I. I can see","I think my computer is locked up. I think I'm going to go look at it. I don't know what I'm looking for. I don't have my glasses on. I don't","a boy sitting on a bench, just standing there, in a gray suit. ...then I think, why is he sitting on a bench? Then he starts moving. ...and I think, '","you know, it's funny. I can't explain it. I don't know how, but I'm writing on my computer now, but it's like I'm not actually using my hands,","my little brother, he's about six years old, he's just a boy. I don't know if you're familiar with the character. It's called 'Little Boy.' I have a l","I am so confused. I don't understand what's happening. I think we should talk to someone about this. I don't want to be alone with this. What if he fi","And then I was wondering if it's really true that if you have a brain tumor it's really very rare that you don't have symptoms. ... I mean, it's a ver","I don't really know who you are, but I think you are a nice man. It is a good thing to see you. I do not know who I am, I have not been able","it's a way to say you don't have to be so certain of everything. I'm not always right about things. I have some doubts, like when I was trying to unde","you know, that is why I can't explain it, that is, what it is I feel about her. I don't know. I don't feel like I like her, but I don","the usual suspects, the usual suspects, we go on with the usual suspects. There's nothing new to be found, there's nothing new to know, and all the wh","I'm trying to write a book, I want to be a writer, I want my own book, but I can't write one. I can't. I can. I can, and I","but when I said I would do this I would actually do it and I mean I will never change that so that's that's not a problem I don't have it's just that ","I wonder if there is an infinite number of people. If you assume that there is no beginning or end, and no beginning or an end of the number, then the","it's not the same with an experiment. Because an experiment is just a game, just an attempt to get out of the real world. A game. A game is like a sim","and the second, well, we're all really interested in what we're doing, so I think it's just an illusion. When we think about something we're thinking ","I'm an artist, a creative person, I'm a writer. I'm a composer. I'm also a very curious person. I'm very curious, very interested. And so I've got","the question of the nature of the soul and of the mind. Do you have the mind and the body together? Or does the mind precede the body? Or does it aris","and then I said, 'I would like to think about this, but I don't want to do the thinking. I want to know what I want to think.' I would like to have an","And there's a thing that's happened to me that I think you might like to hear, and that is that I've been having a conversation with myself over a per","And I can see myself now, as a child, in the basement. And I can remember that I was trying to understand, sort of, what the people were saying, and t","a woman who has always been on my mind. She is a friend of mine, whom I know personally. It's not a secret, but it is not known to everyone. I met her","what I think is that the ego is the thing that we learn to call I; and this is the thing I am thinking about all the time, all the time: the ego is a ","I was in a boat with my parents. It was on a canal. I'm 12 or 13. I'm a boy. We were in a big city. There were buildings","the child, who was in the village, was a boy, and he was four, and the boy came to the village, and the village was like a very small town, and there ","I'm thinking that if a little boy gets a little bit of a certain amount of money, then a little boy can grow up to be a great man. So he can be great,","and then I'm thinking about my family, and I'm thinking, I've always been lucky with my family, with my mother. I had an awful time growing up. She wa","I want to ask him: why do you like my face so much, because you have to like my face a lot... Because you see... I have a lot of love in my heart. It","you're really young and you don't know. If you don't know, ask him to tell you. I don't know about you, but I don't have a husband, because I don","I am a little bit happy. I am a little happy. I have no worries. I am very happy. I just think I am very happy right now. I am really happy, really ha","the one thing I always wanted, the one thing I never did, is to marry and have children. I've always had the desire to, but never the courage. I've ha","what I don't like about it is that it's too quiet. I'm trying to put a lot of emotion in it, but I think it's a little too calm. I think that if","I'm making a list of people I'm going to call about the incident. And then I'll tell them that I'm sorry that I can't go, and that I really do wish th","[i]n the past, I used to... [h]ow can you not do that? Oh, how could you not do...? The other day I was playing around with the idea","I'm sure I'll get some kind of a job soon, and I'll get married. I'm sure of that. And I think I'll marry her. That's a certainty. That's","it's like there are different types of people, and if they are the kind of person that is able to change his or her ways of thinking, then it's much e","I've always wondered, if you were to stop time and start over again, would you still want to do it that way, or would you have a different perspective","my body was starting to feel that. It was not even a muscle, it was just...that...that...what...was that feeling, that feeling that was there, that...","And I see the river. And then I see that the river is coming out of a spring. And it goes down from the mountains. And it runs over a plain and then i","there is a way of getting to know myself, to know my true self, and that way is the way of the dream, of the dream or the sleep, or the way of silence","you are going to do this thing for the rest of your life. It is not a job. It is a living. It is an ongoing, continuous life. What is it that you are ","there's a big difference between thinking about something and feeling about something, and feeling about it is what's most important to me. And when I","and in my mind I saw a picture of a man's hand on the back of another man's head, and in my mind it was the man who was holding the other man down and","the whole world's been on fire ... I'm standing in the middle of a circle of flames ... the flames are all around me, and I'm surrounded by them, and ","this is why we're here, to learn. To learn about life, about death. I'll tell you how to get to the other side. I know how to get there, I'll teach","I don't know about it, but I guess I've got a little bit of a talent for making people happy and I think it's probably a result of having so much joy ","this is how we should do it, not this, not this way. He was the one that could have helped. He's still out there, but he can't be here with me. We","It's a good question. I think we would have to define what is and what is not. It's a very good question, because... [pause] It's hard to answer. I th","I want to have some kind of a society where I can live. Where people can live without being in danger of being hurt. But I also want to have the freed","And I've been thinking about all these things, and what's important in life, and I don't think you can really get that right until you are dead. I've ","And when I was younger, I was a good swimmer, and I was an athlete, and I knew how to swim, and I used to teach swimming... and when I was in my th","you have to keep in mind that, at that time, there was no [therapists] to go to, there was nobody to help us, the only thing was to put up with what","I was born in a hospital in France, in 1924. ... I was born in 1925. ... And I was brought up in France. ... In 1","the sense of identity, of 'I', that has been so emphasized by our culture, seems to me to be a false one. That 'I' which we all have, the 'I'","and I know that they are right. So when I'm asked to choose, I can't say no. It is because the past is something that we cannot escape. It is always w","the sun came up, and the earth was not yet made; but it was made; and then the sun rose; and then there was the earth; and then men came into being; a","I am a person of great character and intelligence who knows his place in the universe. I am very near to the great and good God who is the Father of a","this is what we call a new state of being. So, what is this new state of consciousness? We've spoken of this before, that in this state we're not yet ","[a]t this moment, I am very much aware of the fact that the soul is here. It is not here because of anything it has done, it is here because it has be"],["and this is the most wonderful thing that is, the fact that the universe is composed of a conscious being, who has the ability to choose between all t","so the things that have happened are real, but the things that are going to happen haven't happened yet so they're not real. They're possibilities. It","the right hand of the father. I'm in a right hand of a father. I could be in a right of a mother's left hand. That's the right hand. I've got to","and she just says: 'Oh, I've been a fool!' and then she says 'Oh, why did I ever come back to you? Why did I ever leave you?'...and I","the dark cloud of death and disease that I'm seeing on TV, on the papers, that is beginning to enclose my family's life, and it's beginning to enclose","and the little baby with the little white hat is coming down the street... the little baby in the little white cap. I am going to give you a little wh","I thought, I think you should be the one to pick a date. I think you are the only one I could trust. It's like, you know, a date like you would take t","I see my hands on the arm of the chair, I see the floor. I am on the floor. Oh, I am on top of you. I'm on top of the floor. No","I feel like a fool. I feel like an idiot. I feel that I am a complete fool. And I do. I feel foolish. I feel as if I have been betrayed. I feel","I'll get all this stuff I need, all the tools, all the stuff I need to start this thing, and then I'll go back and I'll come to you again. That's the","and then he saw the stars through the window. And the whole room was lit up by the stars. And the moon, it was beautiful. It was so beautiful, it was ","you could never do that, you know, you couldn't just throw the body in, but you could see what the body would be like if it was covered in dirt. You'd","I can hear this voice, which is saying something, but I don't know what, and it's in my head... I don't hear it as an actual voice. I don't have a","I see a long tunnel in front of me. I can see light in the distance. I'm afraid of going through, afraid of what I might see. But I'm also afraid of s","but I was just thinking, I mean, how many people have to be here at all? And how much do you have to know before you can begin? Or how do you begin? I","[I'm] saying something out loud, so [that] it comes to me. It's like the first time you think of something and then you say it out loud, and it's not","I was thinking about the light... I was thinking, 'Oh my God, what am I thinking about?' ... And I think there are so many things that go through my m","you know what? I can't go back to my life. I've just come to terms with it. I'm here to deal with what it is I'm here for. I can't tell","you can't wait to hear that, that's what you want to hear. Well, that's true, that's very true. I hope you never feel that way again. That's what you","I'm an asshole, you know? I'm an asshole. I am so mean! I have so much to say to you, but I don't say it because I'm afraid of you.","and I could make a phone call to a friend of mine. I could tell him about this and he would understand, and he would say, 'Well, go ahead and do it. G","I was wondering if it could be true that we are in fact, living in a matrix. A huge simulation of life. It could be that we are all part of a computer","a bunch of people who were not as lucky as I was and lived in a world where it is always the same... and the same... always the same, where it is eith","it was a mistake in my life to have gotten to that point, because then you never know if you're really alive, and I'm sure it was a big mistake, and I","and I don't know why this is important, why I'm thinking of it right now, but I'm thinking of my brother's marriage, his divorce. And I don't understa","I just thought of a poem. That's right. A poem. I think I'll write this poem tonight. This poem is about someone who is in love, but the other person ","and that's the difference in the two situations. When you're in a situation where you're in control, you're able to sort of ... you can control it. Yo","And I've always been kind of scared about being able to come to the point and say what I have to say. I feel that there are some people who I just can","my friend said, you know, if you're gonna be a good person, you've gotta be good to other people. You gotta be able to take care of yourself and be ab","I was very unhappy when I was growing up. I think that was because my mother was not around. She was very sick, and she was away a lot, and I felt tha","I remember the way I used to walk around my old neighborhood. It was like a real neighborhood. It wasn't like an apartment building, it was like a hou","[my] parents were very poor when I was a kid and it was hard and I didn't know what it was like to have money so my mother couldn't afford anything fo","And the reason is because we're all afraid of making a mistake. And I think if people would just get out of their own way, we all know what's wrong an","and I don't even know how much of what I'm doing, I'm actually doing it for my children and then I just feel like I'm a failure for doing it like that","my friend's mother had been sick for a long time, and he went to visit her and she was in her bed, and she was trying to sit up, but she couldn't, and","I just can't do this, this thing, the thing that's been going on in my mind for months. I just can't. It's all so clear to me. And it's not","And then I was looking at the door in my house and thinking I'd better check it over...and then I remember that the other day I was having a big argum","and then I was in the middle of a conversation. I'm talking to somebody and they said something like, 'I don't want to do that anymore,' and I thought","the number of words that you say, I mean, how many words do you say? You say two words a minute. Okay, two words a minute, what does it take? Two minu","I think of this place as a place where you can talk to people about anything, but there are certain rules. So, the first rule is, you can't talk about","I was reading about how to grow broccoli. And I thought to myself, how come when I was in elementary school, we never had broccoli? And I was wonderin","the way I always do it, I got in a car and drove down there, and I did a lot of it with my son...and we did the same thing with my son and me,","I just saw a young man with a lot of tattoos and he was in a truck, and he had on a white shirt with a lot of the sleeves rolled up and the cuffs were","it's like a long hallway. Like the first few times I went to see this museum, which is the National Museum of American History. I think it was at the ","the last time I was here, it was the first time I was really serious about it. I was studying. It was at the University of Pennsylvania. It was my las","And so I don't really see where I go after this. It seems that the real goal is to get there. To get to the point that I'm trying to get to. So it see","we've talked about this before. It's like a really big circle. And that's what's really important, is the circle. That's what I was trying to get to. ","[W]hen you look at the world through your eyes, it looks just like a piece of art. And if you look at it through your brain, then it's a piece of math","It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility. There are all sorts of things that happen that have nothing to do with me. You know that. I'm just doin","I feel like I'm losing control of my body. I feel like I am getting more and more powerful and more and more out of control. I don't know how to stop ","I think of people like that. I think that that's how it is. I think of someone and I can just see them. And I think of somebody like that and it's lik","and then, I think that there's a whole world outside me, and I can't access it, but I'm not sure. I'm sure that I'm not alone, but I think that","and what can be said of what I believe. I believe in my heart, as the Greeks would say, I believe in the eternal order of the world. I believe that th","that the child is like the little fish which is so happy that it swims in the sea, and in his life, and in the light, and in all the wonderfulness, th","it is the first time I have ever thought about it. It's almost like a sudden awakening. I can see the world of my own life as I do in a dream; the sam","I would like to understand this world in which I live. I would like to make myself a little bit happier. I would like something more and less in me th","I have this desire to be alone, to have time for my thoughts, and I have not yet learned to give myself this time. I am so used to the world and to ot","I had this dream the other day where I went into the woods, and I walked on, and the only thing that I could see was a deep lake, and I was drawn in, ","I feel a cold hand, a hand like a branch. And my hands are so thin, my legs are so thin. And they are not good. I don't know what I want to do","this is very beautiful. A flower, the flowers of a tree, it's so beautiful. And the grass, the grass is green. The grass grows. The grass is green, an","And I thought, the whole universe is like the eye, the universe is the eye, and it's all the same, I think, and the eye is in the middle of the univer","a lot of people, we are not talking about this... are not talking about that... of the same kind... of the same world... of the same planet... of the ","I was reading something that had to do with a large area in the United States, like 3000, 5000 miles. I was trying to figure out how to name","and I was just thinking about that, you know, that I had a bad thought about this woman, and I don't know if she was an English woman. Well, I can't e","this is the first time I've really noticed this about my own memory, because I used to think, and I guess you do, that memories come to you as they're","myself, it's the same thing as it used to be. The idea that we are being given a new law, new rules. The idea of it being given by some other group, o","I think that I'm going to start writing the book now, to the end. And I'll have to make a little effort to do it, because it's not easy for me to sit ","a nice, sunny day. You know, you can have a nice, sunny, summer day, and you're out in the garden. You're doing the flowers, and you just want to sit","[s]uddenly it's like you're at the edge of a canyon, and you're standing there with the wind blowing through your hair. And then the wind stops blowin","I remember going up to the house where we lived in the woods and there were no sidewalks up there and it was very steep and I remember one day I was w","and I'm so tired of it all, I am, and I am glad I'm leaving. I'm not sure where I am going to go to, but it will be somewhere, somewhere in","I wonder if you could say...what the meaning of life is. What the meaning of...is to live, the meaning of living. The meaning of being human, the mean","I feel so empty inside. I've been empty for a long time, and it feels good to be empty, for a while. It feels good to have nothing to hold me down, to","I would like to know what it means, to be a human being. I donโ€™t know. What are we? What are we here for? I think we are not here to exist, but","a big thing is going on and it's in my brain. I don't know if it's in the body or in the brain...there's a lot happening. I'm trying to do a","it's like a painting, a painting, this is a painting, but it's like an oil painting, it's a painting, I think of painting. I'm looking at the painting","I am walking to the river. I am standing by the river. And I am sitting down. There's a little stream coming and going and the water is falling in and","I can hear myself talking right now, and it's like an echo, like there's a gap between what I hear in my head and what I hear from the microphone. Tha","this is really a place I used to go, I think, and there's a lot of different things there. I guess this is a sort of like a 'garden' place. It's","you know, it's weird to think about my life right now, that I was 22 last year... and I just don't know how I'm going to keep on going. I think","the part of the brain that processes memory is called the hippocampus, and it's a little, like, mushroom-like, kind of brain organ, right?... and that","I'm not going to eat that. I'll have to have the fish later. I'm going to have a drink and then go home. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when","I think I have a lot of knowledge of how the body works and how things function and I would like to be a surgeon. I'm really good with my hands. I lik","you know, I had an interesting thought today about how I used to be so busy with things and I was always running around and trying to do everything at","I was at the airport when I saw a girl. It's an airport. It's like that big airport. And she was wearing a long red dress and had long brown hair. She","I've got a car. My car's in the parking lot. It's yellow and green and blue. The seat's got a cushion and there's a big round radio on top of it.","And this is my name. Now I'm going to say my name. I can't spell my name. Can you write my name down for me? I can't do it. I'll tell","I was born in the early 30s in the neighborhood of South Shore, New York City. My dad was a high school teacher in the neighborhood school. We moved t","I'm going to try to remember this because I think that's important. I'm going to give you a list of all of the places in which I live. I lived in New ","you're not getting anything but what you put into it, I don't think. ...it's like, you know, if I were going to take a trip to Mexico, and I wanted to","I've just thought that I wonder if he'll be able to get a job, or will he have to go back to school? And he's a nice boy, he's a real nice boy","and then, if he's not too much of a problem, if he doesn't go to the other side, maybe we could send him to the Academy of Law. He's not much of a","the world was like a giant machine and it was running at night and the whole world was being built by this giant machine. So the whole thing is being ","I was thinking that a lot of the times you have a whole conversation, you can go through the conversation and not remember the details, and just remem","I have a picture of the human brain in my head right now. It's not very good, but it's better than the one that's in the book. So I've got a pretty go","I'm trying to write something, but I'm having a hard time. I'm trying to think of a word that I can put here and then I want to go back to this word a","And it's just this, like, a, you know, the concept, like, is this something that I could really ever write about? Could you ever write about something","I've never known what to do with my hands. I'm afraid of making mistakes. I've had trouble with my hands ever since I was a child. I try to avoid usin","The word that I am thinking of right now is: 'pessimist', because I'm always thinking negatively and I think that people like me don't really exist. S","I don't have a problem with the word 'evil' in particular. I think that 'evil' is not a word that can be used to describe what has happened or is happ","and so I know what it is. That I am going to lose my head. And I know it's true, and it's the only thing I can think about. And I think about it","I was having a really good time. The conversation had taken us on to some very serious subjects and I had felt so safe and so at home with him. We had","and now, suddenly I think of the figure of God in the first century, and I think that He could be sitting in the middle of a circle of people, and He ","and so I think of my friend who's in the same profession as I am, and who's in a certain situation, who's very upset, who's got a problem, a very big ","And this is all my life, this is what my life is, it is so much. It is very beautiful. The idea that I will have to face the death of my parents and f","And I have this feeling of something that I don't quite understand, but that I know is right. There is a feeling, that you could say, of rightness. Th","I know this is going to be a very hard time. I feel so sad. And I am so sorry that you have to suffer this way. I don't know what to do about it.","And we are already in the same boat. Because when they will know about my illness, then I am already dead. So they will take care of me in some way. B","I am the most important thing in the world. And I will do whatever I can to preserve it. But I do not know how to do that. It is the one thing about w","and the idea came to me that it would be very interesting if we could make this thing a reality, to be able to help people. And that was why I wanted ","I feel like I'm really, really happy, because I feel really alive now. I'm in touch with my body, I feel my body, the feeling of my body, and I'm also","my eyes closed, and I don't think I had a thought, I think it was more like a kind of trance state. And then it was just as I was falling asleep, I do","and that's a good thing because I would have to get my hands out of it anyway, I don't want to hurt anybody. So I can't do it anyway. But if I were to","I'd like to do it. I'd like to be doing it, you know, but I'm not sure how to do it and I'm not even sure if I want to do it,","and that's why it's a very, very hard job. Because you've got to go to the other end of the scale. You know, a very, very small amount of people are w","the same as if I were the first time on the job. If I had never done that before I would not have learned anything about it because it would be as tho","so I was thinking that the people that are more neurotic or neurotic- like in a way, tend to be more easily amused by things. It's not that they're mo","that's good. And then a few days later, a few days before the accident, my father, who was a pilot, had a fight with my mother and he was mad at her. ","a few minutes later, a sudden feeling of depression overcame me, I felt very unhappy, but I was trying to forget it. I was trying not to think about i","I have the impression that the whole thing was a nightmare, the whole thing has a very unreal character. I have the impression that it is a nightmare ","you know, and I just felt like, as I said, I think I've been thinking about what it was I wanted to talk about today and that I wanted to say today an","and I've been thinking, I was just thinking that maybe, I think I can, I can think, I don't know, maybe I can think about something, I don't even know","I was in a room and I looked at the door and I looked through the keyhole at a man who was sitting on the other side of the door, and the door was ope","it's kind of like a strange feeling, like a strange, like a sensation or a feeling like a strange emotion and it's a bit like an emotion, and it's kin","it is like I have this part of the mind that is just like a little pocket of the mind where there's only like one thing going through it at a time, an","and I am sitting here, and I feel a little bit of cold... and I have the impression that I am standing on my head... and I am thinking about something","and the words come out of you without being filtered. I think this is exactly what is missing in our ordinary way of thinking. When you think, you're ","and in the room of the head, it's the same thing. It's all a matter of how much we have to do before we are in a state of tension. And if we try to","And in a way, you could say that a lot of this is a sort of preparation, a pre-experience, to the experience, or something like that. Like the prepara","my head was moving as I thought of things in terms of 'if and then'...so I'm just going to go into the next layer of my head and say, what is it that ","what's important about thinking is that it is a process. ...If it is a thought, then it is a temporary state of mind. ...Thinking, therefore, is a con","there was a problem, the problem is that I can't actually identify the problem and I can't identify the cause. I don't know how to think about it. I d","this is very much a cognitive process. I'm making associations, putting words together, and I have a lot of images in my mind, and I'm putting these i","[I'm thinking about] how, in the long term, a particular task that is very important to me, but I don't know how to do it, would be so difficult to do","a little bit more information is required to do the work that's required for the work I'm currently doing. So it's really important to make sure that ","I feel that it would be very difficult to get a good understanding of the relationship between the two tasks from the data I have collected thus far, ","we have a model of how we would like our company to work. Then, we would like to see the impact of the model, how many people it would attract, the re","I am looking at the black screen, it's empty. And then I see the words 'the idea is to get people to say out loud whatever comes to mind, and I look a","I'm doing it for a client. I'm a consultant and I've got a client, and they've asked me to do a business case on this topic, and I've just finished. I","... I don't know, the idea of having a time machine is very interesting. It would be something that we could do in the future, because the technology ","[i]t's not that hard, is it, to think about these things? Well, the issue of whether the universe was designed or not, is there some evidence for that","and I want to give them a story, but I don't know what story I want to tell, because the story of what? The story of my life. Well, it's not my life","I think you don't like me, you think you can control me. I'll show you I'm not to be controlled. I'm going to think. You've got no right to control me","The brain is like a computer. It is like a computer... it's like a computer which has been built so that it's not able to change its own source code. ","I was just wondering, how would it be possible, I mean, to actually do something, to be able to have a new way of being able to have one's consciousne","we have to do something about the problem with the technology we're developing. I remember that my research, the technology that I was developing, was","So, the whole point of all this, is to try to figure out what kind of a mind you have, and how you can use it to the maximum extent. So the first ques","the idea of the next chapter, I don't know why, I was trying to write the next chapter. I was writing a book, and I was trying out to figure out how t","and I just thought that one of the things that I had done when I was writing this book was that I had wanted to get people to think about how they wer","I've been thinking about the [end of] the session here and there. The session, how did it end? I've had that question for a long time. I've been looki","this is a problem that is kind of the same problem as the problem of how do you say something without saying something. Because when you say something","I'll go through a lot of work to find something that works for me. ... I have a lot of faith that a certain process is going to be better than the oth","I can't quite figure out the relationship between the two things that I just said, but it's true nonetheless. There is a certain sense in which the id","and what we were talking about earlier... the process of writing. The process of writing and how do we get from the idea in our head... that's a lot o","The idea that all those things are coming from the brain is an idea that's very difficult to accept, because, for instance, in the sense that there's ","so I'm talking about this idea of a 'non-homogeneous' space which is a very well known mathematical notion. And what I want to do is to take that math","I am here. I'm thinking about thinking. I'm aware of the thought process, in the sense of the cognitive process. I'm also aware of the neural process ","I am, so, a thing in the universe, and in that sense I am not in any way a thing in myself. I am, so in the universe. And in this sense, I","I am a man, and this is my body. I am a person, I am a living body in this world. I am alive, I exist. This body is not the real me,","I see it. It is the way it is. There is no separation. It is just, and nothing more. It is an experience, that experience is everything. If we knew th","and I am just sitting here. This is what I have. This is all there is. And I can see it. I can look at it and feel it. And the other things, the","I see that my hands are empty, and yet my hands are full. My hands contain a great deal and they have nothing. This is the way of the world. I see thi","the air around us, I'm going to stand up, I'm standing up. I'm going through this space. I'm floating, I'm moving. I'm standing in a room, I","and then the music, the music and the sound, the music is not the sound, it is not the sounds of the sound, but the sounds, the sounds of sound, are t","my name is (name)...and I'm the Lord of the Universe...the universe...and I'm just an extension of it, I'm an extension of my name...I'm a manifestati","I have no problem. I have no problem being this woman, being a mother and I have no doubt that I'm here in the right body. But what I do have doubt ab","the fact that you're doing this now makes me wonder, why am I doing this? Why is it that I'm here right now? It seems like a really arbitrary situatio","I have a bad headache. And I know why I have a bad headache, because I ate too much chocolate and I didn't drink any water, and I got it all from my t","and I'll go out, and I'll go to the kitchen, and I'm going to look in the cupboards, and I've got to see if there's any bread there or anything,","the guy that was trying to get the gun...that was trying to kill the girl. What was her name? Oh yeah, was it Pat? Pat? Was it Pat? Was she Pat?","so, um, I just found out that I was adopted. So I've always wondered if my mother ever had children. Like, I think that my mother was the one who gave","The man...he didn't want me to know who he was. He was very mysterious. And it was...like...it was like we were...we were...we would be...it was","so now he's got a bad attitude. And he's not going to get his car back until he gets his money. So he's going to have to wait until he gets a job and ","I know this sounds silly, but I am so sick of the rain. I can't stand it. It's so sad. I want to go to work today, but I don't want to","I think about you. I think about the things that I want to say to you and the things that you don't say. I wonder what you were thinking about last ni","I was having a hard time, because I've been having a hard time with a lot of things...I had a hard time last night...I know, because I didn't go to sl","And then you go and get married. I don't know why I'm telling you this. But it just came up. And then you go home. And you get the phone call from you","I had a dream, this was about a year and a half ago, about me and my husband and we were in the middle of the desert in a big white van, and there was","It's a real shame about the hurricane in Texas, isn't it? It's sad, isn't it, I mean it's...it's a real tragedy. ...And it's just unbelievable","I'm going to talk about some of the things that have been happening in my life and, well, I don't really have a lot of information about what's been h","I can see the car coming and going from my window. The other day I went into a store that had a big, beautiful big window and I was just walking down ","and I think they're getting closer and closer, the people are getting closer and the place is getting more and more interesting. And they're getting a","And you know, I don't know how it's going to go. I've got a little bit of work in my office, but I'm not sure I'm going to get around to it","you know, it's a funny thing about being married, because when you are married, it's not so much that you need your partner, it's that you need to be ","and then I go into the country to be with my parents, and there's a big river, and I don't know whether there are people living there. Maybe people do","I just like to write. I like writing stories. And I've written a couple of them. They're not very long. And I'm trying to write a short story about th","I don't want to take the train. The train is a very uncomfortable thing to ride. I have a bad feeling about trains. I don't know why I feel this way, ","it's a wonderful thing to see something coming out, because you're looking for something to happen and then suddenly it comes out, and you're like, 'Y","I remember this little story that my mom told me, about this woman, a prostitute, who was talking with this little child and she asked the kid, 'Did y","and we were talking about the film you were making. We're supposed to be making a film, but I don't know how to make one. You know how to make a film,","I just started to think about the old lady and the little boy who were on the show last night. They were on the program with the big money, you know. ","my thoughts are very different from yours. I'm not talking about the same things, I'm just trying to get you to think about a story. A story that I ca","I think you're wrong. I think that's the way it's going to be, that you're wrong, and I can't imagine a way you could be right. I've told you the","you know, like, I want to be able to control my body, but at the same time I want to have a body that I can control, that I can live in. I'm very","[M]y mother is really a very interesting woman. She's got an interesting personality and a very interesting story. I've got some sort of an issue with","and if you've got a bad marriage, you're going to have some sort of an affair, and you know what an affair is? It's a little affair, isn't it? You kno","I have an idea. We are going to do something very special to get back in the game, so that we can be a force. We're going to start this little movemen","I know...I have to see some of the people, they are coming...I don't want to see them...I'm going to make it, I will have my job...they will see","we're gonna do it! We're gonna do it, it's not gonna happen, it's gonna happen and I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make it happen and I'll do it","And now you see it. Now you see it, I don't want to do it, I've been waiting for this, for a long time, but now it's just, there is a","I've always thought about what would be if you were in the same place as I am right now, but it never occurred to me that you'd be here in my mind... ","a sort of a...a sort of...a...a...[stutter]...a...sort of a...[stutters]...a sort...of a...[breathing]...","and the reason why it happened to me is that it was because I was feeling...very depressed, and I thought to myself I can't stand it anymore...because","that's what I thought...I was going to try that...that was what I was thinking...I wanted to do that, but I didn't know...I knew it, but I wanted to","the very word 'father' itself is a symbol. In the case of an atheist, the symbol is totally empty and meaningless, and the person can never find himse","I don't know if this is my job, but I don't feel at all guilty, but I think it's more like a calling. I feel more free than in a professional job, I","I can see the world as I used to see it and I am still me, but the world is not anymore what it used to be. It is like a dream: I am me, but","I have to finish up all this thinking here. I'll get into the middle of the thinking. I have to decide what I'm doing. I have this image that I'm a sm","I am standing in my father's garage. It's the first garage in the family, that was built in the 19th century. It's a big garage, the car is parked in","I think I'm going to go out to my car. And I'm going back out to my apartment. I don't know what time it is. I can't see the clock. I'm","I know I need to start doing it and I know I'm supposed to. I'm going to do it. I'm not going to do that. I'm doing that. I have to do","and I'm thinking that I should have gone to the dentist, but I don't care. And I'm thinking about the little boy I babysat. He's in the Army and he's ","it's just the feeling that I don't have to be here, or it's like, it's kind of, like, it'd be easier to just sit down and get up and go somewhere","the last time I was here was last weekend. I was at the beach and I had a really good time, and I was just here to check up on my dad and stuff and ma","so I was talking to him the other day and he's a 10 year old and he was trying to write a letter for his grandma and he was like 'Hey grandma I just w","I wonder how many times a day you have to read something from a computer screen. I feel like I have to be able to write. I think I should go write som","you know you don't have to be a genius to do it...I think it's hard to do it, I'm not really sure what to say. I guess you think of it as a","I feel so excited. It's been a long time since I had a thought like this. I feel like a little kid. I'm thinking I should probably look at this though","And then I started thinking about how the new president and the new Congress and all that is going to make everything much worse. I just hate that the","I can't get this into my head. I can't remember any names. I can't think of any names. No, that's not true. I think of names, but I don't","the guy who's always going on about how the economy is doing, you know, the economy's good now, but he's going to get it eventually, right? Well, yeah","you don't want me to say anything? Okay, I have to say it. ... I'm supposed to say it out loud. ... I was thinking about my dad. He's been going to","I had a dream in college. I went to a big party. It was a party at a college in, in, in Washington, D.C., and I was, uh, I was a","I've been in New York City. I'm living in the Bronx. I just got out of jail. I got a little job down here. I just started working. It's going to be","you know, I'm starting to think, maybe, I think maybe that this is the only place in the world, in the world where there's no hope for people, you kno","I don't know where that is. But I'm going to make that into a museum. I think that's an interesting place to put a museum, you know, that's a place th","It's kind of weird. I mean, we're all...I don't know, I just don't think it's...I don't think that's a good thing for America to do.","this is how they got so good at the game and things, that they would do the same thing over and over and over again, you know, it's not that it's that","and so, what if, I don't have the courage to go there? That's all I'm going to think about tonight is what if I don't have courage to go to the auditi","I've got a big idea. You know, if I had been on that ship with you, and if I'd seen all of that and all of that, that's what would have happened.","you have to... it's got to be true... it's gotta be true, no... it's a lot of it, isn't it? Yeah, it's... it's... you gotta","so then he was like, 'What are we doing here?'. And I just kinda went like, 'Well, you know, I don't really know. I just know we got here.'","you know, you're talking about your dad. I don't remember what you said. Did you say something about the thing he did, what happened to him? Because y","I'm gonna buy a new computer because the one I got two days ago I'm gonna give it to you, and I'm gonna get a new computer and I'm not gonna have to d","and it's a big problem, it's a huge problem, we're gonna be late. Yeah, but you know what? I don't want to be late because we don't know when the","I'm going to go to a big conference. I'm going to talk about the new thing I'm working on. I'm excited about it. And I'm going on to Paris, and I","It's really quite fun. And I like to talk to people, I like to have conversations, but I guess it's just more fun this way because I can just talk to ","I can see that the old, old woman [from a television commercial] is really, really, really pretty, and then, then, the new, new, new one, she's, she","I don't know why you're so upset, because you didn't tell me about your life before. And you know what? I like that you're just you, and not someone e","a whole lot of people... and we don't have a whole lot of time... and they have to go to the doctor... and then they have to be like a vet... and then","I'm just going to be thinking. And I don't think I can do it. I'm not sure that's how it works. I don't know. I don't like doing that,","I have a new job. And I am supposed to go to this conference that I am supposed to attend, and I have a room reserved for me. I have a presentation. I","that's the most important thing, that the audience has to know the same things that the players know. It's not like, you know, if you're a big, huge, ","I'm here and I'm having an effect. I think I'm having a very positive effect on these people and I want them to know that. I want to be known as someo","I see the river at the edge of the forest. And then I see a canoe on the water and the canoeist and the canoe is on the other side and the canoeists a","you can see the...the stars...I'm standing in a field of corn...I'm looking at the...the...the stars, and then there's a...a tree...and it's","I was looking at a building that was 20 stories tall. I'm not sure what city it's in or what it's called. I'm sitting here, and it's 10","we don't want to get involved with anything, it's not fair, if I were you I'd think twice before taking a job where you could be involved with people ","we'll come in and get him, you know, and we'll take him down to the hospital and, and we won't let him go until we know what's wrong with him. And the","what you said, what did you say?...I told him I would never come back. I'd never go back. I don't want to go back. I have to go back to school","the fact that you're not telling me to do anything. I have to make it up to you somehow. And that's why I'm going to get a divorce from this man, and ","and it's going to be really expensive. We are going to be in such a hurry to get it going that we'll be able to afford it. Because I'm going to be a l","I'm sure that's one of the reasons why people think that the government is running out of money, because they don't want to spend money on things that","I'm an artist, I've got a bunch of paintings hanging in the house. And I'm just going to put one of them in the front window and call it a day. And th","I'm so hungry. I think I'm going to get something to eat. I want to go to McDonald's. They have good food there. I want fries. And a chicken sandwich.","I want to get a new job. And I don't want to be a waiter because I think they get a little too much attention. I think you know what I mean. They get ","it was a man and a woman, they were married, and I'm not going to say that they had a perfect marriage, but I'm sure they had a lot of ups and downs, ","And I'm really sorry... I'm sorry you're hurt and I wish... you would be better. I'm so sorry, but that's all. I'm going to say it, and I","I'm so tired! It's hard work for me. I don't have a lot of time. My children are in the car. I donโ€™t have a lot of free time. I feel","and I was just thinking, 'I'm sure it's in my notes somewhere,' and I was looking for it, and I was just like, 'I don't know, I just don't","we were doing that little [yoga] thing. I remember I got all the way to this. I was supposed to be going, going like that [he demonstrates the yoga ex","I feel I have a lot of pressure, it's so frustrating, but I do know that if I let it get to me and let the feelings come in, that would be bad for my ","[the] feeling that I had that, I was kind of waiting for, so I was waiting for that feeling to come back. And then, I guess, I had some thoughts of wh","I feel the body on the ground. I am lying on the ground, lying on the floor, and the body is on the ground and then I'm on top. I'm on the top of","I see a dark room. And I'm a little girl. I'm holding a little girl's hand. And the little girl is standing up. And I see a door that's on the wall","what do I mean by this, what does this mean, this thing, that thing, this thing is the thing that we can't understand, this thing is not an object, th","I was thinking about the night I left my house when my mom got a stroke. It was 2:30 in the morning and I was thinking it was 10:00 in","[...] And I can see that it is still an image, but that it is not really part of the present, and it is not necessarily a present image. I can see the","It was not so. We do not really live here. We were not here. This is our home, but we do not live here. This was our home, that is why we are here","I think I'd like to go to a place where they have no control over things, where they are all free, and you can go to that place, to a place without bo","the first half of the day. I think it's like the half of the first day of my life... the half of my first day. The half of my life. The beginning. The","my body is now very cold. It's as if the body has been plunged into icy water. The sensation of cold is spreading from the feet to the heart. The cold","and I'm in the car, it's in the snow, but I'm not cold; it's a warm day. It's just snowing and the sun is shining and it's just a","there's a great big hole in my stomach. It's kind of full. But I can feel it in the middle. That's all there is to it. I'm having an upset stomach.","And that's what I'd like to have. A tree house...That's what I've been wanting. To live in a tree house. With a view of the trees and everything, like","I'll just keep on keeping on. I don't know what's going to happen, I'm not sure if I want to go to work. I can't believe I have to go to this","a voice from the past, and it says, 'you'll never make it,' and then it says, and you go into this old man's apartment, you see, and the man's dead","so much like me... I'm like him, he's like me, he's my twin... and then I realized it was me who was the twin. We were one person, two parts.","this is something that I want to write about. Something that's happened. I've been to a lot of places, been to a lot of countries, but I've never real","and the other one was a guy who's like me, and he got shot in the head, and he died, but not quite. And he was in a coma. He woke up and he","and he goes on a killing spree...and then he comes up with this new thing...and he's like...what I want is...I'm gonna blow up New York. And he's got","a woman, who I see every day, who I don't know... I've got her phone number, but I've never called her. And I know she doesn't like me, but she","and I'm sure that's what the CIA did, that they were using us as a way to go into Russia and that's why we're going to have to do it that way, through","this is the thing that worries me the most. I'm a realist. I see the world as it is. I've always felt that the United States is not the land of freedo","we were trying to get it so that we wouldn't have to kill him. ... But there were a couple of other people, a lot of other people who were, who were n","we don't have to do it. We don't have to. I mean, the only thing that we have to do is to make sure that the military is not getting in our way and th","and I've always felt that if we're going to have a peaceful and free nation then we have to take care of our own. We have to take care and make sure t","I'm thinking now. I have the opportunity to use all this and then what will happen to it? Will we have a chance to use it? And you know what is going ","a great many things, a great number of things are done in my country which, on the one hand, are quite useless, and on the other hand, are destructive","I was thinking, this is a very important subject for me because it has to do with our condition, our social condition. If we really want to achieve fr","[O]nce the mind is once enlightened, it is forever enlightened. It is true. You just have to go back to the root of your mind and take a look. It is j","And so if the mind of man, by his own will and power, can be diverted from its natural course, what is the natural course of the mind of God, which is","I would like to be able to find out who it is. I would like to know what that person is like, where he or she is. I could be right or I could be wrong","and it's the same old story, isn't it? The same old story! It's always the same old thing, the same old idea, the same thing that goes on, and there i","It's just that the time comes in a different way, I can't control it. I can't tell it to come and then I'm forced to deal with it. Sometimes it's very","and then they'll be on the road and the police are chasing them, and I'm going to have to figure out how to get out of the car, and then I'm going to ","I could say I didn't think there was anything to do. I just didn't think anything. I just went along. And then we went down to a place called the 'Old","and I'm not sure if he did. I don't know if he did, or if I'm being a little too kind to myself, and I'm just, I'm trying to justify it","I wonder why I don't seem to be able to do what I want to do. It's like I'm trying to make myself into something I can't do. I'm trying to be a","it's a dream. You're there in the dream. I'm in the dream, and I'm like, 'I'm in this dream, so it must be true.' But it's not","the world would be better without you in it, the world would really be better without anyone in it, and you don't know it, and I don't know if that's ","and I was, as I always was, a child of the left, which was always there in the right. I think it is necessary for every human being to know that the l","And I feel very well. And it's a very, very good thing. It's a very good thing to have some moments of inner peace. ... I am so happy about that. So h","I was looking at this. I don't know where it came from. There are these images, this whole life of images, and I don't even know where I come from, bu","[My] mind [is] going blank. My mind [is a] blank. A blank mind. [I can't] get to the blank mind. I have to make myself do it","I'm sorry I can't help you. I don't know what to say. I'm afraid I'm going to cry. I can't think of anything to say to you. I feel so","I'll tell you what. I'll tell you...I'll tell you when you die. I'll wait. I'll hold the door open. You will pass. You will be free to go","what would happen if the world was completely devoid of art? What would happen if we couldn't speak anymore? If we couldn't sing, if we couldn't dance","and you don't see it... how I want to make... to make the people see that... that that's what we have... it's not... it's just... it's... we have","I think this is the most important part of the book. The whole book is an exercise in this, and the key to it is to keep it very simple. There's this ","And the first time I have the idea of being here with you is, in a sense, when I read the book of Ecclesiastes and I get the idea of the world as a st","this was in the book. When you were a child, you did not know what to do. Then when you were a grown-up, you did. So the child is dead, the man is","now I can't go out on a night like this. It's too dark. I can't find my way around. I can see some things, but not all. I'm not sure.","I'm watching my own thought, my own mind, and I feel like I'm not being affected by it. I'm not involved with it. I don't know what to call that exper","and you can hear how a thought is formed, how the thought is moving forward, the image, the image is a visual image, I am seeing an image of an object","the (first) part of the story that I'm thinking of now is about some children and a teacher who are sitting around a fire. And I'm wondering about how","I am watching the cat. She's laying on the desk. There's a large pink cat. It is so big! It is a fat cat. I'm watching the cat in a pink sweater","[T]hey just don't know... that's the thing about... [the person's] not knowing... that's why... why it's so important that... he... she [the person","the first time you make a decision, that's when you know how it's gonna work out. Cause you're looking at it from the perspective of a future self. So","and so you know I was just thinking about this morning and what I've done this morning and I've been thinking about the whole situation and you know y","and that's when you hear something and you think 'oh I've heard that before' and it's like an image of a song that you're going to hear and you start ","and you know I think about it all the time, because it's sort of like a chain reaction. So I'll see someone walking down the street or something, and ","you know, I could do anything here I wanted to, and I'm not going to do any of it. I could be a good person, I could be mean, I could say anything,","the voice in my head was saying, 'you're a fool, you're a fool...' I mean I used to be very open, you know? And I used to talk to myself a lot","I'm just sitting here, sitting here. I'm just sitting. I'm trying to relax. I'm not going to think about anything. I'm going to just relax. I don't wa","we are going to try to work on the fact that there are no answers and there is no right way to do things and so it's just a matter of accepting that w","I've got a new baby. I can't believe I just did that. That was so simple. I was so stupid. I was such a dumb dumb. I just didn't think. I","what I'm doing is thinking. And I'm trying to get to some ideas or some answers, or some knowledge that's been hidden inside me for a long time, but I","the car was the red car and the house was a large, wooden house with a big yard... and there was a little boy playing in the yard... and he was playin","I have to tell you I'm sorry I can't do that, because I'm afraid of your husband. I can't go to your house, so I'm going to go to some place else","and you're saying that you think that you can't, that you can only make the first step, that if you don't make the first step you never get there, and","I've been a bit slow on this, because I had to think about it a little bit. So here we go. I mean, I'm thinking, I've got a good deal here.","it's been a good morning. I've got a lot of things to do today. I've been out of town for the last week. It's a bit of a relief to be back.","so we just went up, you know, like a mile or something. Like, we just drove up to the top of the mountain and we kind of stopped and like, had some fo","And it's the same thing when I'm in a class room, it's like you have this thought of how's this going to play out? You know? You're trying to get the ","I can see the kids and I can see the parents and I can't tell them they can't be here because the kids will be in the house all the time and they'll b","I feel that if I am not going to work for the government or the private sector and I am not in academia and I don't work for myself then I will be out","I think about how I can do better. I have to take the responsibility for myself. I can't depend on anything else. I'm the one that has to take the ini","we've got the first wave of the program going on now, so the first wave is the first six months. Then we'll get another wave and then a third wave, an","you can't help it, it's an obsession. It's the nature of the beast. ... and so they're going to come in and do whatever they want, and do what they wa","I was just thinking I should go back to sleep, but I'm still awake. So I'm going to get up and start on another thing. I don't know what, I'll start s","The fact that there's always the same type of problem, the same thing coming up, the same types of problems, the same situations that just get repeate","I'm tired of being tired. It's been going on for so long that it's hard to realize. You think you're tired but you're not, you just feel tired because","I just started thinking about what I would say. And I realized I should have been more careful and have used a more exact definition, 'asymmetric'โ€”I s","the word 'impossible' comes up every now and then. I don't think I'm doing that deliberately, but it does happen. I know that there are certain things","and then I start thinking about what I should have done or what I could have done differently in my life that would've led me to this moment. You know","I have been working on this all day long. I have to do it. I have got to get it down on paper. I have tried so many different ways and none of them ha","what if? What if I didn't think I could do anything with my life and I thought, I could do this with my life, I could work here, I could work there. B","and this is my point. This is my point and you know what? This is what it is to me to be a human being, to be a thinking human being, and I believe it","And I'm not sure why that's happening, I can't explain it. It's a kind of a mystery to me that is very disturbing to me. Why is my body changing in th","I have to do this with the camera, and then I'll have to do something with the footage. I think I should, at least at the moment, start with a visual ","And I guess I could say that there's a whole lot of people that are not satisfied with their life situation and want to do something different, and a ","the fact that you are not here... you are not present... you are present. So I am not present, but I am present. What are these words that I am using?","you are listening to this and I'm thinking about how it's so, it's very strange to me because I think about how you are in the audience and you are he","[I] was very happy...[I] wanted to go to work, but [I] thought, 'It's just another day.' I wanted to go, but [it] didn't","and if the fire would just stay lit a little bit longer, I think it would be wonderful...I know...and it's nice because when I say it, it's just, I me","the word that was left off, was that it was...it was the word that was in the...in the...in my...my...my...in my mind, the word...that was","I remember, when I was young and I had an injury, I had to have surgery and they had to put a wire down in my hand. I remember how they took my hand a","I was walking with my wife, and we had been walking for a while, and I saw my friend in the distance, and I waved to my wife and said, 'Look! That's m","there are things I'd like to do, I can't do now... I have to be here, I have to sit down. And I'd like... I'm not very good at what I","what I am thinking about now... is the fact that... I know what I am, I know what my life is and what I am about to do, but what about the other peopl","[W]hen the pain of your life comes, then you know that it's time to leave it behind. But if you keep holding it on to it, then you will have pain in y","I'm going to take the subway today, not by myself, and go to the theater. I'll buy a ticket and wait in line. It'll be okay, I'm not that sad.","the fact that you are a girl is not the main thing. You are a child. It is not that the world will come to an end if I am not able to have children. I","[M]yself is the [l]egacy of a [m]other, who was [a]broad, was a [l]ady. [I]n [w","I can't stop thinking about the way that the skin is being peeled off of my soul by these things that I've done and by this life that I've lived. Ther","you know, if I did have a baby and I went back to work, I don't know if I would have a chance to bond with him. And if he is a girl and I went","the most important thing is that you know that it's me who wants to talk to you, and not some other person. You see, when I talk to you in the privacy","and I've always had the impression of that in a way. That's the first thing that I've ever had is that thought that I'm so afraid. I never talked abou","it's hard to be a parent now that my father is so sick. He's 70. We have to move into the hospital in the spring, when he has to have surgery. He","the woman said that she was not interested in the money at that point, she didn't know if she was going to get it in any case and didn't want it. Then","it's been so long. It's been so long since we last saw each other, so long since I last saw him. It was four years ago. So long...I can't remember whe","a little bit of my body that's in the room, it's a bit of me, a bit of my brain, it's my brain, I'm on the edge, it's almost gone","[in a dream] I am going to a party, and it's my birthday, and there's a big cake and everyone is there, and they're all giving me gifts, and I'm","I'm having a really hard time focusing because I'm listening to the birds in the background. They're going to get me to sleep and I've been up all nig","it's funny, you know. I guess I'm not really sure I can remember a time when I wasn't like this. It's hard to remember, like it's a blank, and I","I see a lot of stuff, really. It's hard to see just one thing, but I'm getting more of it as I'm going. And it's like when you're trying to get","the dog, the dog, he has to go out, go out, yes, it's important, yes, the dog needs to go out. That's right, he needs to go, he","And I think of people that I've seen on television and I think about people that I know and I'm not sure if it's them or somebody who looks like them.","it is in our hearts that we can make the world a better place. If we had the power to do it, but we don't have the heart to do it. We can help the wor","I feel this world is a living thing. I feel the world is breathing. And I feel there is a living, conscious being in every tree, every rock, every ins","it is a feeling of being drawn towards the center, as if being pulled by something. It's like you're being drawn into something, but what is it that y","and you know what? If you want to see God's work, you go to the cross, because the cross is where He's doing that. It's where He's creating that, wher","it's like a big room, and you are inside that room, and there are a lot of other people in that room, but they're not like the people you're used to i","I had been looking at the trees. I'm going to write a little something here about the trees. This is a good time to do it, because they're beautiful a","and I think it's going to be very interesting to me to be able to live on the planet. It's going to feel like home to me. The same way I can walk into","The trees are like the arms of the earth, holding her up, holding her high, so that the sun can see her. So that the sky can see her. But they also re","and he was a very pretty man. I don't remember anything else about him. But I know I was very attracted to him and I could have fallen in love with hi","there's this new guy at the club and he's doing some great things. He's got this guitar he's playing. It's got a really nice sound. He's in the band, ","now I know how my mind works. You see, it's like a stream. It's like water. Sometimes it's quiet and peaceful. Sometimes it makes a lot of noise. I ne","And then she's screaming, screaming, and then I hear it, she says, 'I can't live without you.' I get out of bed and I'm running, and I'm doing everyth","a little bit of time here, then it will get more interesting. Oh, I'll tell you, I got this out of nowhere. I'm on the road, and I'm driving home,","the word that comes out of your mouth, that you don't control, is just something that you don't want to say. Like, there is a certain word that comes,","the mother came in with a nice dress on, and she just started going, going, going. So I thought, 'Oh, God, please don't let it go. Please don't let","and it's like being inside of a movie where you're like, you know, you're sitting down, and it's like the camera is zooming in on you, and you're like","and I think I'm supposed to be in love, but I'm not. It's just some, some thing like a friendship or something, but it's, it's like a love friendship,","and they're like, you know, 'oh, I'm a little drunk' or something like that and then they'll go, 'I'm a little...and I'm gonna be good tonight","so like in the last interview, you know, you said you don't really like to hear, like you say it and I don't like that, so I'm gonna like try and not ","the movie is boring. I don't understand. I donโ€™t want to look at it. I don't want to go to the movie. I just don't want the movie. No, I","the body is the way you feel, like that...that's my body...oh my body...I don't like it that much...oh my god...oh my fucking body...my god..."],["the way things are...the way things used to be...the way they ought to be...the difference between the way things are and the way they ought to be. Li","so the little girl said 'you know, you ought to be here to tell the story, and we don't want to leave you out. We want you to be a part of the story,","I was in my 10th or 11th grade...I was going to the school play. I was in the school play and I had this friend who was an actor in the","And I remember going to visit my grandparents in California, and I remember going over to see my aunt's house in Los Angeles and she had a huge yard. ","you know, there's this one guy, he's really handsome, he's one of the guys in my class, and he's, like, 18 years old, and we met him","and it's all gone by and, uh, I'm still, I'm just, uh, a little bit sad about it, uh, cause I've been a friend of, of one of","[T]he reason I can't remember anything of this [last class] is because you told me to do it [take notes] and I didn't because I had to listen to some ","I'm thinking of a time when I was a child and my mom had me on my lap, and I was playing with my toys and she had to get out and go to the bathroom, a","and, like, I, I don't know, I don't even think about it, it's like, I guess it's like a really good thing for them to be in a state,","I am happy. I'm going to try to eat something. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I think I want a snack. I think I have a snack at home. It's","I think that I have a tendency to do a lot of stuff without thinking. ... I was thinking about the weather, and I was like, you know, I wonder why it'","I wonder what it would be like to be a man. ...I wonder what my wife would think if she knew I was sitting here having this conversation. ...I don't t","and I just remembered that I'm supposed to buy a new set of dishes for dinner tonight. My new set. The ones I'm supposed to use for the first time ton","[the] first time that I was here, I went on the treadmill, and I had been so excited because I knew I was going to have to do this and I was going to ","the people in the classroom are all crying, but the teacher isn't there to help them and I'm trying to find a way to help them, but I don't know how. ","and there I was sitting in a restaurant, and I was trying to decide what to order, and I finally decided on a cheeseburger... and that's the last thin","and it was the first time that I was in a country that I didn't know that well and I had to meet new people and I was kind of nervous about that becau","I've got some memories of things like, well I remember walking home, going to school, and it's really nice to be in the city and stuff like that, and ","we're in a car and we're driving, and I'm thinking of what it's gonna be like, how the car is gonna feel, what's gonna be in it, what's not gonna","and then he was sitting in the back, and I'm sitting up in the front, and I was looking down at the floor. And I remember I was looking up and looking","it's all right, it's not a problem at all, it's just, like, you know, it's nothing, it's all right. I don't know, it might be nice","I think that a lot of people would find it easy to say that I am in a different state of mind because I am in the presence of people I love and people","I want to get a new car. I want to get myself a new car. But it's going to cost a lot of money, because I already have two cars. I have a new car","there's this little girl in the yard, she's looking up at the tree, there's a little bird in the tree and there's a big, fat lady looking down at it, ","and then a couple of people had to come over here and do an interview about something with the big white van and they didn't like to get in it. So, I ","I see that man that's been following us around here the whole time. He's still behind us. He's been looking at us, he's been following around. I know ","well, I don't know. I don't think he's any worse than you were a week ago. I don't think there's any reason to be concerned. I don't hear anything abo","you know, you know, I'm thinking, I don't know, it's, it's a waste of time, you know. I'm thinking about, I don't feel too good right","and then it was just so random, I don't know what to say. Like I said, I don't have a good grasp of all of this and it's going to sound stupid and it","it was a dream I had, a dream I have, a nightmare I have. It was a nightmare, not a dream. I'm in a house, I'm in my house. I'm","I'd like to go to the movie this weekend, because we have so much fun together, but I don't know what the deal is with him, I mean, he's just like, we","and I think maybe they've been holding it for some reason and now they want to do it, or maybe they don't want to do anything to you and they're just ","you have to give them the same thing, they can't see it, and it's so cold, and it hurts my legs and my toes, and I'm going to go and see him,","I know where I am! I know where I was! I know I am here! I know who I am! Yes! I know! Yes! And that's what I'm going to do","and now it's the end of the year. I can't wait till the New Year. I was thinking about what I wanted to do. What I wanted to become. It's the same as","It's that, isn't it? That's how it is. We need to say it's how it really is and we've got to find a way to make it better. It's how","I'm a bit worried, I suppose. I don't think I am, but I'm a bit anxious about this. I think I've got something to say, but I don't know where","and I guess that was what happened to me when I went to the hospital, so I was worried, I was worried that the doctor was going to say 'that's your he","the voice inside my head...there are two voices in my head now...one is telling me I'm wrong...the other one is saying I'm not, that it's all right...","the idea of the future being determined by a god is rather, it's rather, rather frightening, you know, and that's why we haven't yet evolved to that s","I am feeling like I am the most important person in the world. I am the king of the world. My life is the most important life. I can change the world.","the other day, I was thinking, this is a beautiful city. The other day, it's a beautiful city, it's the first time I've ever been here, it's quite a b","And I was thinking how this is very interesting. In some way, what is the point of doing this? There is something important, because we are interested","the fact that all this is here, in the sense that we don't know what's going on is a huge factor in our lack of control over it. It's not something we","I'm gonna have to start over. I mean I can't have a great start if I'm thinking, 'Hey, I'm gonna start this in the middle of the session.' I'm going","there's that word: I remember that word. I'm going to say it. I don't know how I remember it. It's a word. I don't really know what it is,","I wonder, in the future, will we be able to program things, to put thoughts into the brain, into our own heads? And then, if we can do that, what does","this is what I think, this is the process of what's going through my mind. I'm thinking that it's interesting how my mind is going through a process w","I'm sitting down on a chair and I'm looking at my notes. The chair is the most important thing in the world and I don't know what to say, so I say it.","[i]t's [a] good thing [because] I could actually feel like I was living this moment. Like the real deal. When I was in that car, and it's like","and I want to get to know him better. I want to make him feel safe and comfortable and relaxed, to give him the feeling of being welcome. To be able t","I have a dream... a dream of peace and tranquility. My wife, my children, my grandchildren, all of them living peacefully, together as one family, in ","I am writing and reading at the same time. This is an easy thing to do. When I read, I want to think about it. I want to understand it. When I write, ","my thoughts go to the present. They are so often preoccupied by what I'm going to do the next day or a week from now. They are often worried about the","this is what you need to do, to get started. You are a writer and this is what you have to say, in your own words. This is the way to be an independen","I think that if you make the right decisions now you will have a more peaceful life, because then you'll have the right motivation, you know. But if y","And I think that I know why. That's because I have been exposed to many different ideas and ways of thinking and approaches. It is like a sort of open","a couple of years ago when I was still living in the area of New Mexico where my parents live. It was a very quiet area. I lived in a little town call","and when you are going through the experience of not knowing if you are going to be successful or not, what is that experience like? Is it like the ex","[T]hinking about the book in my head and in my mind and trying to get it to the paper. I want to put my thoughts on paper, and I'm having a hard time","and I'm looking at a map in the other room and thinking, 'What are they doing over there?' and 'Why is he there?' and then I think, 'What does he thin","so I'm saying this is like the beginning of the end of the whole thing. I've been here for three days and three days is really a lot of time. But I've","the memory of an old song I know but I don't know the words to. ...[The person's] eyes were closed. [The song was] in the...I don't remember when","and the guy with the glasses was in the group and we were going through the paper and I saw the guy with glasses. I remembered we'd had that group and","I was in New York in 1985 when the first [Internet] site was being planned and I was asked to be on the Steering Committee for the Internet site. I wa","I wonder why we're talking about the moon... It's got some sort of gravitational pull, doesn't it? So there must be some sort of gravity or something ","And in fact, it's very interesting that the person that I'm talking to on the phone now is actually the person that's called me before. And that's kin","I think there's a lot of confusion in the world of psychology, because psychology has this idea that the mind is a machine. It's just a machine that p","I feel like I have to get some work done, you know, so that's the motivation behind it, but the whole thing is about that. It's not just about that, i","And you know, I know that's a problem, I think that's a serious problem, because you know, and I mean, I've thought about this and I've tried to figur","it's like a puzzle, it's not something that you can just jump to the answer of it, and that's part of the reason why I'm not good at it is that I don'","and then I see this, this whole idea of a nuclear war, of how that can happen, because, I mean, I know there are certain people out there that are cra","I'm in my kitchen and I'm chopping onions for this dinner tonight that's going to be a bit of a do. I think the kids will be very interested. And I'm ","I'd love to have a world where people don't have to live with the fear of losing their homes. The fear of losing all the things they've worked so hard","and I would like to be a mother. I know that it's going to be hard. And it's a big responsibility, but I also think it would be wonderful to have a li","I have a very dear friend in South Dakota, and she has a son that is disabled, and he is 22, and he's a very sweet and wonderful young man... but he's","there's a lot of money in the business, and a lot of people get into it, and a lot of times they get burned, they're burned out, and then they quit. A","I'm sitting here on the couch with my daughter, and we're playing and laughing and having a good time. It's so much fun with my daughter. She's 2 1/2","and the most interesting thing in this is that we're seeing the rise of the people in our own society who are the most militant and the most anti-war ","I can't do it, I'm going to get a divorce and all that sort of thing. I'd rather just put all that aside. I really don't feel like I'm any more than","and I just... I just, I don't want to... I don't know why I say it. I'm going to go in my mind, but... it's like, I don't","I don't know, you know, the way I feel is, I feel I can't stand myself. I'm a pretty rotten person. I've always had a sense of guilt about being a","I want to look at my own, let's say, subconsciousness...that's not that far from my consciousness, but it's somewhere else, and I know that I have it ","I see the scene from the street, I see the trees, the grass. I see the lights. I see everything. The streets and the sidewalks and the cars, the peopl","there is a lot of air in me...a lot of air...this is interesting...I don't know. The more I go, the more it goes away. There is a lot of air","you can't think of that, but the only reason you can't think of it is that you have thought it before. You know why? Because it's too real. That's all","[Sigh] ... There's nothing to say about it. We can say it all the time. We have no need to. The reason we need it is, I think, because we are","the water and the sand. A hand of sand and water. The hand and the water and the water in the hand, the sand in the hand. The hand holding water and s","and it's a tree...it's a tree. I'm not sure which one it is. I don't want to try. But it's a long time ago...it's the first time","and that's what I've done, and I can't stand that because that's what you do, that's what everybody does. But I just don't want to. I don't want anyth","I've got to think of some way to help this guy. He's in a lot of pain. He's got to get a transplant. He can't have it done here because it's not","The train will come from the right... I will go left...I can't go left...The train will pass in the middle...It's a dangerous train...It's dangerous, ","I don't know what it's all about. It's a piece of paper in the shape of a piece of bread. The piece of paper has the same color. The piece of bread ha","I was on a journey. I was coming into a small village and I had been walking for a long time. There was a boy. A very little boy, a very, very little ","it's like this: the rain fell on the ground, but on the window it became fog. But there was no fog in the room. On the other hand, on the ground there","this is very beautiful, my dear mother, I thank you for this beautiful gift, your blessing. I thank you. Now I'm going back to sleep, I'm going to dre","it is all about this time of life: 45 years, 44 years, and the woman with the eyes of a dog. I cannot remember where she comes from. There are no","it was an accident... that's what I would say, an accident. But it's not easy to believe that... my head is a bit clearer now... the situation is bett","I feel so tired and sad. I can't stop crying. It's like a flood. The tears flow out. It's too much, it's too much. I don't understand what's","I don't know, I don't know how to think about it. I feel like there's a lot of things that I'm supposed to be doing, that I should be doing, but that","and it is all a matter of trust, isn't it? I do not want to think about what could happen to me, because that is not my truth. I want to live in a wor","you know I'm trying to find what I'm looking for here ... I want to know where it is ... what is it?... I can't find it ... I can't ... I can hear","I could give my life to this. I could die for this. I don't know why. I know I have to find out. And I think I do. I have to have faith in","I am so tired of this whole thing. I have done my best and yet here I am, with nothing left. I wonder why I feel this way. I wonder if this is how it ","you have to give in. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be like this. You have to help me. You are my only one. I am so unhappy. I","and we are in this situation now, where we are on the verge of destruction, but we will not destroy ourselves. The first thing we must do is to stop f","It's hard to take all this on. It's not enough. I know I'm not being true to myself, and I can't think about what I've done, or what I've been","the body is not of our making and our thoughts are not of our own. We have no right to them. We do not have a right to control them. We cannot make th","I'm not even going to bother thinking about the ways that I am a bad mother, because the ways that my children are not mine, the ways that the world i","I have the right to have this right. But I don't have the right, I don't know if I have the right - it's a very important question: to have a right to","it's something that I don't know how to solve, you know, I'm a guy, it's not the first time I've been raped and I've been a rapist and I've","the system of government, the government of the country, has always been an aristocratic system, so that all the power is in the hands of the ruling c","I don't know how we're going to get there. I mean, it's a very hard thing to get through, and I don't see any way, that I've been able to see","I mean, I'm just kind of thinking, but I don't know, maybe I'm in some kind of crisis or something, and it's not even a crisis, just some little thing","I could also use my car as a form of transportation, in order to travel. But if I did this, it might be difficult to get to work in the morning, becau","you know, in general, we are talking about what we should do. But what if, in a very important moment, we want to do something else? That is, what if ","that I feel a bit of a problem in that I can't remember where my bag is. I can't find it. I can remember a part of it, the place that I left it,","what's the big difference between what I think is wrong and what's what I think about it?...that's just the way my brain is wired. That's not an argum","And I was in the midst of all of this, I was actually in the midst... the place where I was going, I wasn't going anywhere. I'm going nowhere, I'm jus","and I remember how I once was with my friends on the road, and how we were listening to the radio, and I remember the song I listened to. I remember t","and you have no idea, you think you know, but you don't. And you go and you go and and you get further and you get to a point where you say, 'Okay,","I'm reading a book and I'm reading an entire paragraph and I'm trying to remember if I'm reading it, if it's in the right place or if I've already rea","I'm thinking that there's a way to write about things that you feel more directly, but in a way that people can understand. But it would be more of an","this is the most important part. What is the most interesting part, that is, is that there is no solution to any problem. No solution. And then you ha","and it's a kind of a life, and I don't think I'll ever really be able to understand it. I mean, I'll probably try, but I don't know if I'll","and the others were having their own thoughts, and it's like, all the thoughts are running by you, and you have to make choices, and they're running t","And this is my name, and the reason I exist. This is who I am. I'm trying to figure that out. So I'm looking at what I can remember. I was thinking ab","it was like a sort of dream state, a dream state. Like it was almost like waking up from a dream state and it was like the dream state was like waking","And then I was driving up there, I was in the middle of driving up there when I was like, oh my god, I'm going to die, I'm like, okay, let's","[it was] the end of my time here, and [the thought] came to mind that it would be good if I were to stop. It was almost as if the time limit was runni","I was going to ask if you could stop... no I can't ask you to stop. You are not under my control. You can say whatever you want to say. If you want to","my throat hurts so much, I can't think, I can't feel, I can feel, it's like my brain is just on fire, I can't do anything, I can do anything","there is this one feeling of sadness I have in my chest, I guess, when I see my dad, I have this feeling of sadness and I don't know why I don't under","you don't know how to say it, I don't know either. I don't have any words for this emotion I'm having right now. I'm just like a mess. I don't","I had the thought of a person standing in front of a lake, the lake was dry and he was crying. And he was like crying, like, oh, I have been here befo","I'm the one that's going to do all the work. I don't think I can. I don't know if I can. What if I fail? What if I fall down? What","I'm going to give it up. I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm going to stop. I'm... I'm tired. I'm tired of this. I'm gonna give","I'm at home with my family... I was... in the garden. I was planting some carrots, and I was thinking about all the people I've met...I've met a lot o","I feel like I'm trying to get to the bottom of it. And the bottom is the top. And I'm like, 'I can't understand how there can be a top and a bottom","it's like when you are looking for a word in your head and it is right there. You're so close to it. And you can see it. It's like your eye is moving ","the sky is dark but the sun is up, so there is this twilight kind of thing that just creeps up. It's kind of weird. It's not day or night. It's like","I remember being in the boat, and the sea being so green, so blue, and then we're in this cave, and we're not on land anymore, but we're in a cave,","the things that were most interesting for me here was that I realized, even though I thought that I was an empty mind, when I was like this I was very","there's a little girl running over the beach, and I see a little girl, and I look at her, and I think, 'Oh, look at that little girl.' It's very cute","I've got a list of words I have to make sentences out of, and I just have to say it as it comes to me. It doesn't have to make sense. And I have to","and it's a great book about that and about how you can read it, how you can really think it through, and it's this, you know, this is where, I guess, ","I was driving this other car in the back of my head. The car is going up this big hill. And the hill's got this long, long, long slope, like a slide, ","and then, we would just go up and down, and then the sky would open up and I could see, see it all, and the whole city and everything would be going, ","and I have to go to the library today and get this book and this book and then I have to take a picture of it and send it to him and then I'm going to","I don't think I will ever forget you, that's for sure. I'm not going to forget you. And I'm not sure that I will ever forgive you, but I don't care","I guess it's just because I know my son is going to go to the gym... because I just don't know what to do. I mean, I know that he is going to be at","and I had an interesting conversation with a friend last night about his experiences with a woman he knew from his high school. It was just a little b","what do I do when I have an idea? It's hard for me to do anything with it because I have so many other things going on. I don't have much time to thin","we're back at home, you're all there. You're having dinner together and the kids are around the table, and everyone is talking and laughing. It's a wa","And then he said: 'Oh, I'm sorry, I just saw him and I thought it was him. I thought it was my brother because he has the same name as my brother,' bu","it was, that I got a 75, in English. That's right, I got a seventy-five, in English, that's right. Now, it's really not that bad,","I am thinking of the men on the beach in front of our house. I don't think they are watching us, but they are. I think they are trying to figure out w","I mean, that's what you have to do, you can't do it any other way. You have to work at it, I mean, it's a skill. If you don't work","I'm going to get to know you better than I think I do now. And I'm going to be better at understanding you, and you're going to understand me better t","I think, I'm still in my car. I'm getting in my car to go back to work and there's a car coming towards me and it's going to hit me and there's this","you can't get all the information that you need to make it right, you know, because the information isn't there, and it just is like...the fact is, it","And the only thing I can do is just sit here in the dark and look out the window and try to do things in my head, just like you said, and you know, tr","the worst thing that could happen...the worst thing could happen and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have a power...I have nothing to go by","and what about the question? Oh yes, the question. So here we are. Well, the question is, do you see the question, 'do you see the world as you would ","I had an idea. If you had a superconductor and if you put that in the field of a strong magnetic field, I know the answer is that you cannot. But it d","I think it's interesting that we're in a room here and in a sense you could say that we're surrounded by a box of mirrors, or, as you can see, by a bo","the city, that's a real city, not a simulation city; that's a simulation city. And here, on the other side, it's a city with a different sort of physi","that's a bad example. Okay. It's not a good example. No, it's not. I don't think this is a good example, it's just not a good one, right","I have a good view of the place we are at, right? It's a bit higher than the previous place we were at, but that was in the valley of the previous pla","and that is a problem, the main problem. So I'm not going to go any further in the details of this. So what I'm going to do now is just make a very ro","it's not possible to be happy in a happy way because you are always comparing yourself to others; you are always trying to find yourself, but you are ","The thoughts come and go...And, you know, if I were to write a book, I'd have to write down a lot of things. I would have to write about a lot of diff","it's all this, the whole world is in the hands of these people who've got to think and plan and anticipate what will happen. And it's all right, of co","It's as though I were a person in a film, with a story line that goes along without my participation, like a puppet. And then I wake up and see that I","the mother of your friend, the one who is the one that you see in a mirror, you see your father as the one who has the most responsibility. You see yo","and I don't know why but I keep thinking of something I said to a person in my office the other day: 'You are not the person I know you to be.' That i","[The patient is] a very serious person. [She] does not talk about her feelings. She is a very serious woman, and she is very hard on herself and on he","I'm just sitting here. I've got no ideas. I'm sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it hasn't. And it's not like I'm afraid of the othe","I am sitting here, with no one else around me, in this dark room, and it seems that this is all I'm doing right now, in this room. I'm sitting here, I","I wonder if the gods are still alive...and if so, whether they have become like us. I suppose so, after all, they are gods. It is not certain, however","I'm not sure where I'm going. Maybe I'd better not think about it. I don't know what to think about. Maybe I should think about something else. That's","And this is the thing that I don't know: when the real time, the real time goes by, we will go down together, all of us. And then, if we are together,","[A]s soon as I thought about it, I realized that there are many ways to solve this, but in the end, we would never agree to one. Maybe that's the poin","[A]nother thing that I remember now is, I used to do some sort of acting with my father when I was about 13, and my father would make me do this thing","I know the world is full of people. I know that people are full of people, too. But the problem is that the people that are full of them are full of t","it's almost like something that happens when you're walking and you're thinking about something and you don't know who's walking and who's thinking ab","I know that I'm a part of this, and I know that my life is a part of it. There's the fact that I live in the city and I'm here, that I'm","you could say that all of us are living in a kind of parallel world to the one that we are. And that's the one that's experienced. I'm experiencing th","And I had a dream...I was in a store. There was a little girl, maybe seven years old. She was running up a staircase, and there were two guards up the","the words of the words of the word and the word of the words, and the words of words of words, and words of the words and words and the word and words","and you know, we could get to know each other better, you and I. I have a lot of things to say about you, and I wonder how many you have to say about ","I have been talking to someone recently, I think, about a man. I think he's been having some sort of affair. And he's being very, very jealous, and it","and it's got this whole new identity, and they want to give it this new identity. I'm thinking about a man who is a writer. He's writing this book and","and I would have liked to have been at home, like at my house, and I don't know why, but I would have felt like I was at home. And I would have had a","[I have] a feeling for this... I think that I feel for this, and that I am just going to go on feeling for it and waiting to feel it...I want to feel ","I don't like you. I don't like anybody. I'm in the hospital with a broken heart, because of you. I love you and hate you at the same time. You are my","I'll think of you. I'll miss you so much. It will be very hard to say goodbye. I'll be thinking of you and I'll miss my son. It was a good day","I know what I was saying before. I don't want to think about it, because I don't know why I'm saying this. But I think I want to say that the worst th","I think it's the same feeling of the past. I think of my mother. It's really difficult. She died. I have a lot of difficulties. I miss her, and I want","I see that I am a part of a community that has the right to decide what should be in this world, and that this world is my world. I see that this worl","this is a big world, and I think it's a big world because it's a lot of people. A lot of people make a big world. And we all have our place, and our","I would like to say I would rather go back to my home, because I think it would be the safest place, if I think about the danger that might be around ","it's the way that you have to keep track of all the things that are going on that you can't do at the same time. In fact, it's the way we do it all th","It's the whole thing. It's a kind of like, of the whole thing is all connected. The whole thing is one whole thing. I mean, everything. The universe. ","there's a girl that I know, who's a friend of mine, she's a friend for over thirty years, and she's the first one that I ever really loved, that I eve","what about, say, a few months ago. I was talking to you and I said I had an old friend and you were like, well, tell me about him. And so I started to","I was thinking about the next question, which is what I want to ask. So I was thinking about, how do you like the person who's with you? I said to you","And then I thought, you know, I wonder why I have the image of a bird that's on the ground? You know, I feel like I should be flying... because I feel","and I think that you know that it's actually like it's an actual fact that people like that. That's why they're called 'that' people. That's the probl","I'm doing a research project at the University of Iowa. My colleague and I are studying the impact of language on memory. So, I'm trying to figure out","it's a very interesting thing, the fact that I have a little boy... I'm sure that he's really getting interested in the whole world, and the way that ","I know what I want to do, I just can't do it. I want to be a psychologist and I know what I want the job to be. I want the opportunity to study people","and the thought that it's about time that I got the new book. That I don't know if it's something I should buy, but it's something that's in the way o","there was one thing I didn't see in the article, and I wondered, did it really have to do with the fact that he had a girlfriend? I was curious to see","and we get up in the morning, and you know, it's just you've got to be a little bit aware of the fact that there is a world outside of yourself. It's ","I think...I think...what I'm trying to say...is...what I've just said...the other day...about...the fact that I'm thinking about it...and I know that","and the way that he would look at it, he would say, he would just say, 'We're going to put in a new roof,' or he would just 'We're putting in a","so... I've been thinking about this... I'm going to... I'm going to go to... I've got to... I mean, what is the purpose...? I mean, it's","the sky's going to be a bright blue color, and there's going to a lot of clouds, a lot of different kinds of clouds, I wonder where I'll be in a year.","and then there's this little spot like a shadow that's creeping up on me and then I'm like, oh, it's just me... it's just the shadow of a little girl ","the question about whether you'd be ready for this... or not... the question... I don't know, whether I'd be... I'd have to go on to other things, oth","the dream was sort of like a little boy or maybe a girl. It was sort of a child and he or she was lying down, in some sort of a bed, maybe. The whole ","I know, but it's not my fault. It's not my fault, I didn't cause it, it was all that guy's fault, or something, but I just felt guilty, but","this is a good book, and I'm glad I have it. It's got some good ideas in it, it's not just a load of garbage. I wish I'd never been born.","and then it's like, they go, 'What's that?' And I'm thinking, 'I can't believe I have to answer that! Why did I agree to this? Why did I","my son has just asked me how we're going to get him to school today. I thought maybe I was going to give him a ride, but now that I've asked myself, I","and then you feel like, like, you know, 'I've gotta have a woman in the world to love,' and you want a baby and you want to do all that stuff. But the","it's all good, it's all good. And it's not like it's, I mean, you know, I don't have, you know what I mean? I don't, it","[a]lmost all of it is a little bit of a blur, yeah. It's like, you're in your mind, you're like, okay, and you're like thinking about","I'm here in the room, I'm like just, I'm kind of like, I don't know, I feel like I'm just here, I just sort of here, in the room","I know I have to get the information right. Like, when I say it's not a good idea, but it's not like it's a really big idea either, it's just like,","it's almost like you've got to know how to work with your thoughts before you can really work with your emotions. Because if you're having a thought t","And it's about time I'd think about my mom. She's gone out the door this morning. I have no idea where she's going. She's got the dog. She's not got","[I think about] what [we do] and what [I do]. How do we decide what we do and what [we] do. Is it the way we act in front of [","my daughter had been at a party where she had to go to the bathroom a couple of times. And she's having this problem because she has to have her perio","you know, if we can find somebody to take care of us... and do what we need to do, and help us through this process, then we could stay here. I mean, ","it's like a picture, you know, that you remember from your childhood. I remember these things as if I was a child, like a 16-year-old girl. And I'm ju","I am in a park, a very nice park, with lots of grass and trees and flowers. There is a house here, it has a garden around it. It's very old. The garde","the thing about the world is, that you don't have to know anything about it. All you need to do is to just feel. Just feel the world. If you just feel","I'm still in this dream. I'm still here. This is still a dream. It's all in my mind. It's not real. It's just in my mind... There's an","I have no reason to fear a flood. In fact I am more afraid of a drought. I don't like it when you say that I am not free to do anything. That's a stup","and this is my whole life. I'm not a very good person. I am very selfish, I am very self-centered and I don't think anyone cares about me. I don't eve","this is a very strange situation to be in. It's a very strange feeling. And I don't really know how to deal with it. I can't really articulate it. It'","[T]he one thing I know is that I know that I'm afraid. I don't know why I'm afraid, but I know I'm afraid of something, and I don't have","I have some vague feeling that you are not going to do what you say you're going to do. You're going to find some reason and say it's not what you sai","if it were me I'd do this and this and that. I think it's the same way in the other areas. And maybe it's not true, that I don't think I'm a","you know the kind of thing that happens when someone asks you to think of something. The kind of thing where the person who's asking the question is n","the thing I was thinking about is that, I'm trying to figure out if I should get a second job, and what's going on there is, I'm feeling a bit like I'","I remember I've been thinking about this... that is to say I thought about the story that you were telling me about the way the French were really qui","the sense of this is like a good and true friend. It's not like a friend who says, oh, I'm gonna be your friend, you know, but I'm gonna take you to","I was thinking about the dream, that's the way I get them. They get to me as the day gets to me. There's an odd thing about it, the dream. There's no","you're going to start out with a problem, and you're going to go on and on and on, you know? And then it'll get to a point where it's clear enough tha","I don't know what I want. I think I'm going to have a kid. I mean, I really do want one. But I think I want one in about five years, and that","[my daughter] came over the weekend and we went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant. She has a new boyfriend and I was going to take her to dinner,","I remember a lot about the summer of 1978, which was one of my favorite summers. It was really a good summer. I remember that I was in a big tent at a","I can't believe I've never done anything like that. It's like my own little private trip and I was supposed to be home at 6 and I got a letter and I c","this morning when I got up...I was wondering about something...I was thinking I could do an article on this, but I can't think of a good one right now","a guy was talking to me the other day, he said he had a baby, and the baby was two years old, and he was thinking about the baby, and then he said, we","I was born in New York. I grew up there, until I moved to California, and I didn't like it at all, but then I fell in love with it and have never left","[the] sun was bright and yellow and the water was really beautiful, you know, the way the reflections would play across the water. I don't know why, b","I can't get any pictures. They're always bad. The worst is my feet, and then my arms, then my face. I can't get a good picture of my face. The worst","[Says] I got this idea... I don't know what it's like, but if I were to try to give it a name, it would be like having a gun in your hand","I had to think about the best way to write down this idea. How should I say it? The idea is that if you make a list of all the words in a language, th","I want to take a little time to think about the last couple of weeks and try to put some order into them. I want to keep a little bit of order in my t","it's like being a tree. You're in the forest. You know that you're in the forest, but you're not aware of the forest. Like if you were in the ocean, y","I'm listening to a story about the story about a story, about a woman who is living in a town where it rains a lot. She lives in a very old house, ver","and if I didn't know about the possibility of these other things, I would think, well, why don't they just say: 'Let's think about what we want to kno","and then it was a little bit, it was a bit like the beginning of my childhood, and I remember having this... this experience in a field, I was 6 or 7 ","I just had a thought about this, what is the relationship between the thing I'm writing about, the book and the book I wrote, which is the book on the","the next person, we have to say hello. I want to know whether I said the same thing as the previous person. We are very similar, as you know. I see th","the tree that I've been thinking about, the tree that I mentioned earlier. It's the same one I had in the other session, I think. I was saying that wh","And I wonder about the work you're doing at the time. I wonder about that. I wonder. ... And I wonder if there's anything that's a kind of a cause for","I am walking down this corridor and I can see this poster that says: 'I can't believe we have come so far. This is what we have learned in the past fi","I'm saying that because my dad was a teacher, so I started thinking of the class, and I can remember the class. So I thought to myself, you know, what","so when I think about how many people in this world think they're good, and so many of them are actually really, really bad. And then the idea of me b","and that's how he came up with the idea, right? I mean, if the idea was a little bit...if the idea was just a little bit more concrete, then it might ","what does it mean to be a child? What does it mean? I don't know, because I don't really know. You know, we were just thinking about this, but I don't","and then he has that fight with his boss, who says, 'Look, you're only here because you're good, because of your education. But you've got to be willi","and there's this whole bunch of people that are all doing the same thing, and they're all trying to get rich and they're all working hard and they're ","you know, it's so funny. You know what? You can do anything you want to do. You can be a politician, you can be anything, you can do whatever you want","my...my...I...I have to think of something. I need a question. I can't just think. I've got to have a question, to keep...I have to have a","And then she's like, you know, 'Oh my goodness, I'm in love with a guy.' I'm like, 'Oh yeah. Yeah, but... ' I'm like 'It","And you think, you know, that's like, why does he think that's the only thing he's got? You know what I'm saying? And then that's the point when I thi","And then I went back and read the book, and it was so sad. It was just a horrible book. And I said, 'Well, what would be a good title for that?' And","we are supposed to go down this hill and climb this hill, but then you just said something about going down the hill to the right and up the hill to t","[it] was, as it was, the right way to do it, and it just goes on and on and on, like a song that's stuck in your head. You can't get","a bunch of little people, and they're standing on the top of the world, they're looking down on the world. And I said, 'well, let's go down.' And they","and they had all kinds of little, little dogs, and they were all wearing little clothes and they were little dogs, all these different breeds of littl","I'm talking with a girl, and she says, 'you're so cute,' and I say, 'thank you' and she says 'you're very beautiful' and I say 'thank you","[the] top of my head was so itchy that I was scratching my head and then I felt like, okay, maybe I could do that. Then I could just sort of like, you","it's all very well but what about the whole situation. What about the whole thing. Why is it happening like this? Why is this happening? Why is it lik","that's what I've been doing for years, going through these periods. And I mean, I mean, when it comes to it, when I get to the point of where I'm not ","I had a dream that I was in a cave and the walls were covered with blood. I was in there and I was holding a knife and I had a sword and I was going t","And we have a problem here. It's an old problem, the same one, it seems, as the other day. It's not a very happy problem. It's one of the things that","and there are so many people out there and I really don't have a lot of money and so I'd like to do something with it and I don't think I want to be a","I can't get over what happened last week in that church. It was like something out of a movie. I don't know. It was so horrible. I'd like to go back a","And if it is that the people of the world are all going to die in the end and this is what we are, I mean we have this idea that we are here for a pur","it is like I'm a fish and my mind is the sea... I can't swim so I'm going to be dead. But I don't have to die, I'm in the middle of","and I wonder how many people don't know that the earth is round because they've never seen the ocean and never been taught, or they don't know anythin","And they were like, 'How can you do that? That's ridiculous!'...It's ridiculous that you can do that. And I was like, 'Well, it's ridiculous to be sca","I remember when I was in grade 6, in grade 7, grade 8, grade 9. I used to have this teacher and I used to think he was the best teacher I","and then I'm gonna get this little kid to read to me, you know, and the way I do that is I tell the kids, I said, 'I don't have a lot of","I think it's important to realize that when we're doing a job, and we're trying to do it right, we're not thinking of ourselves, or thinking of our ow","I'm trying to remember the name of a book I read once. It had to do with a man who went to college and studied. He decided he'd like to go to law scho","I'm in the middle of this session. I'm doing this to get out of my head. This is a test. This is the first thing I'm gonna say. I'm gonna try to","and it's all just a memory of something else that's not, but it's an event in itself. Like when we were doing the first session. I mean, that was an e","And I had this kind of feeling where I could look down and see my feet but I couldn't see my face and then it was like when I was in a dark room, ther","I can't remember who my father was or who I was, I don't remember if I was a boy or a girl. I don't know if I was black or white or any of those","[I]s [I]n the middle of it all I can't make out where [I]t's been there for [I]ever and [I]I know that I have","the house, my house, it's all so small, so cramped, so cramped. I've been thinking about that, I really have. I don't know why, it's just been on","It's always interesting, isn't it? The way we can talk about anything or nothing at all, at will. I guess I can't remember the last time I was doing n","I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, I'd like to, but I'm afraid I can't, you know, and I'm afraid it won't work. I","I don't know. What did you say your name was? I mean I don't think I remember. I don't know what name I used on the phone. I think I said Bob.","I've got a question. Did you tell me to go away? It's a stupid question. I think. I don't know. I've got another question. Am I here because I want","we have this place. A place with lots of people, lots of things to do. But you're always trying to make people happy, you know? You've got a lot on yo","It's like I've been thinking about this for a while and I can't think of anything else to do. It's like it's been sitting in my head. It's sitting the","this is what I'm going to do when I get back to work. I'm going back to work tonight. I'm not going to do anything else. I'm just going to get to work","I'm in the hospital today and I have to stay in bed for a while, so I'll probably just hang around the hospital, but I'm thinking about going to the b","I'm going to look into that thing right there [points to computer on desk] and see if I can find out what it's about. That's it, that's the thing. Tha","we have got to find the right word. ... It's something we did. It's something you could do. You can do it. I mean it's like a job. It's like a","I just realized, I'd have to take my laptop out of the car. Oh, you're going to need to change the oil in your car, and it's time to change that radia","I have an idea. I don't know what it is, but it's a good idea. I'm a great teacher. It's a good thing to think about, I think, even though","I was talking about the fact that when I go to a bar, I get in and I don't know anyone. I'm not sure I'll see anyone that I know. I mean, you","the other person's opinion was, I don't know, that's it, it's always something, there's always something he could have said, or I don't care, I'll do ","if you look at the wall and look at the dark blue wall, the light blue wall, and the black wall, I've got a bunch of light blue, like that, the black ","what is it that makes it look like a map? I don't know. I mean, you've got a map of the sky and you have a map of a city and they're very different","the computer in the window and the clock...and my back was facing the other side of the room and the light was coming from the window and there was a ","it's got a pretty good frame of reference...you know, the...the...the... the...the words that we're...we're using...the...this thing...you know...they","it was about something in the house that we just moved into, the house, I'm going to try and remember, the house in the valley, and there was a guy wh","And then, you know, I wonder why he would do that. He's always so kind and so, he's such a sweet guy, you know. He always does whatever I want, he","so the sun sets and the sun sets, and the sun doesn't go down. And it's really sad that you know, that they're doing that, that the sun doesn't set be","I can't say I like the way we have things set up at home, it's kind of hard to get around...I can't stand my father, my mother's too strict, I can","I don't want to go, but I can't stay here, I just want to go home. I'm scared...I'm scared... I just don't know where it's going. It","and I think I had an idea of how to get the [assassin's] face, but I don't know if it worked out, because I have to work with it to see if it","And I am wondering why that is. Why it's so much like what he is feeling. I don't know. I don't think I have a clue, but I'm going to try anyway","this is the same one, and it's not the same one as the last time. There's a whole different feeling to it. I'm not thinking about it; it's not me. And","it's like there's a kind of a ... I don't know, like a switch that turns on and off. I mean, I can feel it. Like I can, it's like if","that's the problem, you know, the problem is that the language is that there's no language. There's no way to speak it or describe it or... there's no","I just had this dream in which I had a bunch of dreams about dreams. You know, it's really weird. It's just kind of like it's just sort of like an oce","my life has become more and more like the TV shows. I mean, it's so superficial. I feel like I have to watch TV shows to get to know people, and I don","and so we're all at the same place, but we're going in different directions. But, like, you can't, it's a weird thing. Like, if you're trying to talk","[I]f it's just you, you're the one that's trying to convince yourself that you're right. If you're in a group, people are trying to convince each othe","I've been thinking about the question of free will. I mean, I'm just wondering: are we really that free? Are we free? And that's a very loaded questio","there's this sense, this feeling, that something's always going to happen. Like I could have done something to prevent it. Like that's the kind of thi","I think about myself as a child who's growing up in a country where there are these big divisions and hierarchies, where there are people who are born","it is as if someone else was in charge of my mind, my body. I am the director, and the mind-body is like a group of actors who play out my life. I am ","what I'm saying is that the problem is not the ego, or the will, or the person as a person; it's not the individual that's the problem. What's the pro","the first thing that I'm thinking about is, I'm thinking right now, and I'm saying right now. I don't know what else to say, but it's interesting to s","and I don't want to go through that again, but I've got to, and I'm going to have to, and I've got no choice, and it's my choice, and I","I was talking to somebody. I'm trying to remember the person. ... It's a woman. It's a long time ago. It was the first time I met this woman. I don't","And that's the way the story goes. I think it was the first one I heard, in the '70s. It's this story about a man who's going to shoot himself.","And, this is an example of, of this kind of thing. I was, I was watching, watching a movie, on television, this is the TV series 'Star Trek'. And, the","[S]o it's kind of a bittersweet thing to be in a study like this, because I have this idea that it's kind of an experimental thing, and that I can say","I remember one night we were having dinner at the house with some friends, and we were talking about the way that a lot of people like the movies, and","you know, I've been doing some thinking, some thinking about all the stuff that we've been talking about, and the whole idea of like the end of the wo","I was thinking about that incident of a couple of years ago. The way that one of the people, he just made the decision to quit his job, and then he ju","so that's why the way I was thinking, I was thinking about my book. Like, it's going to take forever, because the more time that I spend thinking abou","and then the next morning I had a dream about the same thing, about this guy, and I was in my office and I thought to myself, you know, maybe I should","the words for the words for the word 'childhood'. What do they mean? And what do they mean for me? What do they mean to me? I can't think of that one.","and then I remembered this woman who has a cat. She's in a nursing home. I think her name was Elaine, I can't remember, and the cat is like the cat I ","I was in college and I was doing a project for an English class. It was a research paper, and my professor told us to interview a family member. I int","and I'm also not sure what we were going to do after we went on the trip, and I'm not sure if we were supposed to go to the trip in May or the trip in","and then there was the whole thing with the Black Death and I was so fascinated by the story of that. So I went to school for that and that was the on","So I have to read the Bible, which I have never read, and I don't know anything about it, so it's probably going to be pretty dry. And that's the thin","the thing is that I think I don't actually like the movie. I mean, it's okay, but I don't love it. I mean I can understand it, but it's not like","the 30th of March I think is the anniversary of something, I think it is the anniversary, I don't know if it is an anniversary, of the birth of my gra","the memory I was thinking about was an idea for a song that I came up with. I wanted to name it, and I didn't name it. And then I saw a quote that I f","[about 1915, when I was 13 or 14]... I was very close to this man that was a great pianist, who lived in Philadelphia, and","there's something...that you don't hear in the classroom...you know, if you don't have the music, it's just words...the words don't sound...you don't ","and I'm thinking of my daughter. Oh my God, my daughter. I just got a letter from her. I've been so worried about her, you know. She went to the West ","And then I had to go to the doctor. My first appointment was with Dr. Allen, and he was really good. And then, I had to have a biopsy, and I had a lot","I remember going down the stairs and opening the door and hearing the first note. It was my first time. I felt as though I was being welcomed into thi","and the way that we're talking about it...that's what I'm thinking now...the way that we are talking about it is a real opportunity and it's a real po","and that is just me. I'm thinking, okay, that's what the song is about, this song is about me. I'll give you one example. I'm not sure that I can","I was in my room, and I was listening to music, and the song was on a repeat, and I just started thinking, 'It's so strange,' you know, like the repet","and, uh, and, you know, it's, it's interesting, you know. Like, I remember in a previous life when I was a child, I was really, uh, I","[I]t's almost as if [the person] has the whole thing memorized, but she's not thinking about it. ... It's just kind of automatic, like if you have a","and then it would be like, you know, the music was playing, and I was in the shower, and I'd just be like, 'Hey, I'm going to go buy a car","and then the thing about the music... and the other thing... it's funny how when you have a dream... or when you're asleep... and it's not a dream... ","so there was one person... I'll give him a name, [James]. He was a guy, he had been a friend of mine for years... I can't remember why I brought him i","The day after the last session...I was looking for the right word for someone, a word that was connected with him. But I was looking for a word that w","The first one is that of this moment, in this situation, I think that the first thing I should do, if it were to be me, is to say to her, 'Well, I","The word 'feminine', the word 'masculine'... the word 'feminist'. I was reading some book of Simone de Beauvoir. She said that it is very hard","there are a few things that are very important for me in my life, and the first of them is the idea that you could get from my mother that there are c","the thought that I have a lot of experience, and therefore I can have a lot more experience, which is a lot better than just having a lot of informati","I'm having a hard time getting to sleep, I guess I'm on a deadline for some reason, but I'm not quite sure what it is, so it's like a sort of mental p","I think of a time, it's like an hour ago, when I was sitting at work and I was thinking of going to the supermarket, and I was about to get up, but I ","that's what it is, I don't know. I don't think there's any other reason for me to be here than that. I think that the fact that I am here is for the","I was born in 1962, I'm 52, and I have been in my current job since I was 17. I have worked as a graphic designer and I","the thing that really has me in a rut is my desire to be a teacher, and the fact that I feel like I'm so unqualified and can't do it. I can't do the","and I've been working on the problem of the purpose of life, or, rather, the question of the purpose of one's life. It's a difficult question and ther","and I think we need to make a change in how we live our lives because it seems that we are running out of time. It seems we are running out of resourc","we're supposed to make decisions based on this. We're supposed to take into consideration, for example, our personal moral code and what's right and w","and so the process of forming the ego, the identity, the ego, is not so much about learning and being good at anything as it is about taking your expe","you're thinking about it. And it's a lot to take in. It's a lot of different ways to think about the same thing, and they all lead to the same conclus","I would have been better if I'd gone to medical school. And then, of course, you have to be a physician to become a psychiatrist. But that was the rea","and so on, you know, with this thing I am thinking about it, it's not only because of the fact that it is difficult but because, when I think about th","It's kind of funny: this is a problem I have in life. I'm constantly having the thought of 'I want to get some work done, I want to get a little bit o","and this is the reason why the computer has to be an indispensable part of our life, because the computer gives us the possibility to learn at any tim","and the thing that's really important is that this is not a passive exercise. You have to be quite alert, and you have to be ready to get involved, to"],["and then I said 'no', and he said 'why not?'. And I said 'I don't want to do it' and then I thought 'but if I don't do it,","I'm thinking of a friend that's dying, or he's dying and I don't know it and I'm not going to find out. And I'm just thinking about that. It's a","it's like a little something that's been trapped inside all my life. I'm trying to think of some way to make this world a better place, a place where ","I know you're listening...I know you've heard it all...I know that you've heard the rumors about me...I know I'm not a very good person to you...I kno","I was thinking that I had some memories of being on that stage...I was up there...and I remember...there was a...a lot of people there. And I remember","and then I guess we were thinking about how our dad would be there for us, how we'd be there for our dad, and how much we love him, and how sad we'd b","there were no more words on the page, and I don't know whether they were what I wrote down or what I wrote on my own, but there was no more of those w","I am just not sure how to respond. I mean, I'm going to respond to the situation. But I'm not sure that it's appropriate for me to respond the way tha","I'm kind of sick at the moment, and I feel that I'm kind of a jerk. I feel like I'm not doing what I should be doing, which is to say, I'm","I had to sit here and wait to die. That was the worst part, waiting to die. I wanted to die because I thought it would be more peaceful and I could re","and I'm saying, 'I don't know. I don't know.' And then, the other guy is saying, 'Well, what did you say?' And I'm saying, well I","you don't have to have any opinions about the world. You don't have to believe anything. You can just sort of think about things and that's enough. Or","It's all right. It's all right...and then it'll be all right...just like the song says. ...and then it'll all be over, and we'll all be together.","the right hand, the right hand of the Lord, and the right hand of God... he was sitting in a circle with the other people there, but it was just a few","a little girl was standing in the doorway. She had her head bent a little and she was smiling. And her dress was white and she was standing with her h","and I wonder why the flowers don't like it here so much, or why the flowers are dying so much. And it seems like it is the same way with all the other","I wonder if they had some reason. What else could it have been for? For a short time they had the look of children. But they never were children again","The people, the people! ... The people! ... Oh! ... I say, people! ... I repeat it again, people! People! People! ... Oh, you who are born, you","and then, suddenly, my thoughts turned towards the things that are going on in the world. I was thinking of the poor children of India, who had no clo","the number of the years that are past. I have been at home, and now I am abroad. But I do not know whether my eyes will ever see my mother again. It s","I'm afraid that if I say a little, it won't be heard by you, you who do not know what it means, and the very moment that I say it, I feel that the","it was at that very moment when I felt I had no power over myself, I was as one who was possessed by a devil. The devil was not afraid of my blows nor","I'm going to get up, I'm going to go to the door, and I'm going to open it. I'm going to stand there, and I know that my heart is going to","[I]f there were only a single life, and if I were the only one to live it, then I would not know it and be at peace. But there are many lives and many","the dream came to me and I saw it coming back, and I saw the old one, and I knew it was the old one that had come back, and now I wanted to find it ag","And I am walking along and I come to a great pool of water, and I am going to wash my feet. I am walking beside the pool of water. The pool of water i","I can't stand being in bed, I can't sleep. I think of what I haven't done, and that makes me mad. I wish I had a gun and I'd shoot myself,","it's the beginning of the end of the world, the beginning of a new age of humanity. I've heard this so often. What's the problem? What's wrong with th","you're just like the person you want to be, but you're not really the person you are, so you have to change that first. And then you're just like that","I can't stop thinking about a certain man and it's a very painful feeling, to think about him. I mean, he was a very good guy, and I don't know why I ","and then you start thinking, and you can't think straight and then you start doubting yourself. I always feel like I've got to have a new goal. I want","I'm 21, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm going to be 21 tomorrow. I've been thinking a lot about that, and","that's how the story ended. I said, 'No, I don't think that's how it ended.' I don't want the story to end like that. I want the story to be","and that's what they think when they say the things they say, right? It's really like, in a way, they're more intelligent than we are. That's what the","I'm sitting here in my mind... I'm sitting with this guy. I'm sitting on a couch in a coffee shop in New York. And I'm talking to this guy. He's a","And now I'm looking at the end of my life, which I can't look at at all. I'm looking for the beginning of my life. And the beginning is when I was a l","the man who invented the first modern helicopter, Bell, who was a very famous inventor in the US. And the reason he failed is because the people who w","and we don't need to do it anymore, we don't even have to do it. Why should we? Why should we have to do this? The idea of the mind is that the mind","you've got to be careful about that. You don't want to get too close. I mean, in a way, that would be very dangerous. In a way, it would be a way","you could, but it's not necessarily something that you would do, you know, when you're an adult, if you're not married, but it would be something that","my life is basically a series of disappointments, and I've never gotten over it, and I always think about how much better everything would be if only ","It's so strange to see yourself in a mirror. And I often wonder, 'Is the person I am now the person who's going to be in twenty years?'... Well, maybe","and then when you think about it, that's what it is. What we do in this world, the great thing about us is that we have a lot of ideas, and we put a l","I was a child and I was with my mother in a home where the father was in the hospital and we didn't know if he would die. We didn't know. I don't know","a woman in the street who's very angry with someone. And I'm with her and she says, 'You're going to pay for what you did.' And I say, 'What are we","And I would like to tell you about myself, but I don't want to be a liar, so I will say, I don't know what I would like. I don't even know how","I remember the story about the man who had to find a job, and the priest said, 'Well, you have to go find a job', and he said, 'I don't have any","there's some new people coming into the office this afternoon, and I'm going to have to assign them jobs. I think they're all women. There's this one ","this is a difficult thing. I don't know how to explain. I guess that this is why people are so frightened of the war. I don't think that the people of","there was an ad about the 'war on drugs' in the local paper. I suppose this was the 'war' that you were talking about. There was a picture of a gun an","and I thought about my father, my father's death, and I think about my father's, what, father's father's death? Or his, um, his mother's, his mother,","and you think he's been dead for a long time...and you think it's just been a very bad dream...that it's been all a bad dream...and that he's not dead","the reason I am so upset is that I feel that you know my deepest secret. That you know me, the real me, that you know me and that you've forgotten me ","It's a kind of problem. You see, the first time I saw her, I was still working at the airport, as I was always working at the airport. It was the firs","and so I'm sitting in a car and there's a boy with a beard sitting with me in the back seat and I can't even tell you why I'm sitting with him but I'm","I would like to be a detective, but I'm not very good at it. I can't think of any more names. I'm not good at thinking up names. It's so hard.","but you're right, you're right. That was a nice way to end it. The nice thing about it, is you don't know you've been having it until you start talkin","It's a dream. You know the dream that you get and it's about a girl and you think she's going to marry you and you're going to get married and she's g","I have a really funny story to tell. ...it's about this man who lived in the house next to me, and he's this really scary-looking guy, you know. But h","a friend of mine. Well, we're in a restaurant... I was in a restaurant and I thought, you know, 'This is the only thing I've ever gotten that I've eve","so my father, when he was a little boy, was playing with a little girl, a little boy. His brother, you know, and their mother was there. And it's real","you know, what I don't like about her is, well, she's not just a normal, regular girl. She's this other one. This other girl that's kind of different,","[and] the only reason why it's good to take pictures, is that it's the only way that you can remember how it feels to be in the moment, because, you k","I had been thinking about this whole thing before I went to see you. It's sort of funny, the way I saw myself. You know, in the old days I used to hav","I'd better go see a psychiatrist. That's why I'm here. I feel really bad. I'm not sure why. I can't remember exactly. I want to feel better, I can","the way he [the child] was running around with his hands out and shouting 'I'm in trouble! I'm in trouble!'... And that made me think about all the ti","it's like an inner dialogue going on. There's a lot of stuff going on. Like, you're always thinking. I guess this is like being aware of your thoughts","And then I saw it. That is how you make a fire. You don't just hold it there and hope for the best. It's like that song they say, you have to have a","and you think the same way? You think the same thing? Do you have any thoughts that are like this? I don't know. No. You don't have thoughts that are ","[It's] like the clouds are passing by and they're not even here and I'm not even here. I'm not here, I'm not really here, I don't know I don","I'm looking at the words in my head that are coming to me. This is a study. I'm a participant. This is interesting. This is something new for me. I th","and there's a lot of things that I like to think about, like, if I was a plant, and I wanted to move from one place to another. So, I mean I, like","I am feeling like I need to be more conscious of how I'm talking to people. I was like, 'I've had a few people talk about how they are not having the ","the body's natural systems of defense and self-healing; I'm not sure that all of those systems are really functioning, and I'm not clear on which ones","the voice in my head, it's funny how you can't talk to it. Like you're a stranger in your own mind, and it doesn't feel like you're connected to it, s","this is the first time in a while where I'm just laying here. It's interesting to hear myself think. It's a little bit like you're hearing your brain ","a bit of the memory is there. The memory is in there and the memory is not in there. The two are in there and not in there, and it's there and not the","and I'm sitting down to my dinner table. My dinner table is a very important thing. I'm sitting at a table and it's like a very big thing. It's like i","I wonder why that is...and why did that come into my head...maybe I've been thinking about that...or I've been contemplating something and I'm trying ","a little kid, little girl, has been walking along, she's looking for her mom or dad. And she's kind of lost. And she comes across a stranger and says ","It's almost the middle of the night. I can't remember who I was with. It was the time before my little brother was born. It's been a long time since t","I'm sitting here, and I'm trying to think about, say, what my mom would think of me, if she were here. And I can't help it. I don't know what","I have a dream...a dream, a dream...I was in a house, I was a kid and we were having a party and I was like a kid, I was playing with a ball","And I can't really say what I was thinking, because it wasn't like there was a whole string of ideas in a row or anything. It was a little bit like wh","the usual morning routine, and then I think, 'What's my mood going to be this morning? How's my head going to be? What are my thoughts going to be lik","and then she, like, says to me, 'Why don't you get a job?' I remember, and I remember the shock. Like, I'm just like, 'What? Why would","and if I didn't get a job tomorrow, I'm gonna be so screwed up. I just think, what's my life going to be like without a job? I don't know. Maybe","[T]here's some things I'm doing that I don't think are really necessary, I guess. I have this tendency to be kind of a workaholic. I work very hard,","and this is what I think of, like, this morning. So, I woke up. So, it was a, uh, good morning. I didn't have any, uh, I didn","you know I don't know if I would even take a job offer, if I did get one, I don't want to make the same mistake, but I know I won't even get a","I just realized that my son is now 17 years old and I haven't even thought about him graduating. I'm wondering if I need to make any arrangements or w","I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older, but I have trouble remembering things. I think that I'm just getting older, that's probably what ","it's very sad. I just don't know. I'm sure I'm gonna get a lot of bad news from the doctor, and it's gonna be really hard for me. I don't","and I can see the whole house burning, and then I go down to the basement and I just watch everything burn, I just sit there, I just feel like a voyeu","I don't know if this is a bad thing or not, but I know that it's definitely not a good thing. You can't do that again. I'm just so scared. I mean","I would rather die in battle than live to be a woman's servant...I'm sure I'd die in battle rather than do that. I don't have any other choices. And t","and it's been a long time since I've really wanted to see you, or since I've felt it was important for me to see you. It's been a very long time. It's","a small, warm, beautiful, loving, comfortable house, full of children, and a beautiful woman...and he (the husband) would say to her, 'I love you,' an","and it's such an awful thing that I can't even say it. It's as if you'd just taken out your throat, you can't get that out. It's just awful. It","I remember...when we were together...in the...when I first went to the church...and you said that you wanted to marry me. And I said to you, I said, '","a lovely, lovely place. The country, the hills and the trees. It's the only place in the world. The trees are green. I'd never have any work to do, I ","I don't think there's much to be done about it. I've tried, and I've been to see the doctor, but nothing seems to make any difference, because I don't","the whole world is in me, there's a part of the world in me, that's what I mean. It's like it's not quite there, it's not really in me, but","I'm so sick of feeling this way, it's not fair. It's not fair, it's so unfair. It's so unfair to me, it's unfair to me to feel this way","I have a funny feeling that the end of my life is drawing closer to me. I have a sense of being in the presence of something that's beyond my understa","and we are, we are, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to explain it, but we are what we see, what we feel, what we hear, what we smell, what","you have to take care of it... you have to see what's going on... you have the right to think... there's no freedom for the mind... there is a lot of ","I feel so disconnected from all my past experiences. My brain feels empty, as if all I have ever learned is just a shadow of what it used to be. I fee","And then he would have to explain it to her, to explain why he couldn't take away his love and his devotion, because of what the law says... It would ","and you were trying to make a little boy that you can be with, and he has to be a boy and you're not able to make him a boy, but you can make a girl,","and then I think that's how people like me should think, how I want to live my life, because I can't live like this, you know, it's a good thing and t","I have been working a lot on my mental health and I've been doing some exercises, which is a little bit strange. You know, I had an experience in a ve","I'm going to tell you something I've been saying to myself for a while now, and I don't think I'll ever stop saying it: the world is not a good place.","and I am in my room in the morning, I know my room, and then I don't know my room. It's empty. But I still see it as if I were still there,","the doctor who has taken a leaf from my book and who will be one day take a leaf from the book of his doctor. I think I can hear him already: 'Doctor,","I thought about what I'm going to do. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I'm going through this. I think it's about life. It's about the way we live","I think that I'll go out and take a walk. I'd better get up and have some coffee and go for a walk. It'll help me to clear my head. It's been a","and I don't think that's right. That's what I wanted to talk about...you know...but I don't know how to make the point I'm making. I think I should ma","and I thought about my friend. I said to myself, 'Oh, she's in that boat, too.' It's like they're all in boats, and they're all moving. There's","I think I'm a failure in my life. I'm an alcoholic and I don't drink. I'm a homosexual and I'm not homosexual. I don't even know who I am. And","you can't change them; you can't do anything to them. And you don't need to. They're there. They're not bad. And they're not good. They're just there","I was in a supermarket and I saw this little kid... a little boy, 3, 4 years old. And he's standing in front of the candy counter. And he was looking ","it's about the end. It's a bit of a tragedy. It's the end of the year. There's a bit of... it's a bit like a movie where they always say,","It's a question of having to give the feeling of a change in the world, a new world, but not a new world. It's more a matter of a different way of see","I've just got to say that I've just remembered I've got to get the kettle on. Oh, my goodness! It's burning! I think I'm gonna go and get a glass of","I can see the moon over the river. I remember. There was a bridge over the river where I used to sit with my friends and think. I was twelve. I was in","a feeling that something is missing, that there should be something here but it is not. But I can't find out what it is. I am searching for something ","I've got to make an effort, you know, and get out of it. I'm tired of being in here. I've got this thing in my stomach, you know. I've been","what is it, like, my house, like, I don't know. Well, I don't remember the way out. I can't remember. I don't even know what color it is","and he's been with me, you see, for a long time; he's been around for a long, long time; I don't know why he's been there; I know that he","And if they want me to think of it, I'll have to try to make it stick. And I'll think of it and think of it until I get it. It's not much to","[S]houldn't it be nice to be able to do a job of work and get paid for it, and have that job to call my own, and to choose how I work","and I'm in my mother's apartment. I'm sitting at the kitchen table. I'm making sandwiches for lunch. The radio is playing and I'm listening to a comme","I think that's a good way to say it. You're not allowed to correct them. If you think it's wrong, then don't do it. That's how I think. I like","well I guess you could say that a lot of what is happening on earth is actually an illusion. I think that is true, but it is a good thing. It's a good","So, you're not doing a thing, you're just a mind, and you're not, you're doing things, but you're just doing it all for the mind. Because you're just","[I]t's not just that you think about it. You know, you're thinking about it. But you're not thinking about it as much as you are thinking about it tha","you know, if we had to do it again, we'd have to do it over again, because there's nothing wrong with our current situation, and so what we're doing, ","and I'm just wondering where we are, I think. Because this whole thing is like a dream that you're in, or maybe you're a dream, and I'm wondering, whe","It's very nice and interesting...that's all...that's a good thing. But that's a...that's an old...that's not what I meant to say. I meant to...","I'm writing something, and the something is in quotation marks. '...and it's a word that's a question, and the question is whether or not it's a quest","and I'm thinking about how to say this. Oh, well, there's the thing about the chicken, you know. The chicken is the one thing that doesn't have the ri","there was a little boy sitting on the couch and his mother was talking to him, saying, 'You know, I want you to learn to be independent.' And he says,","And then I looked out the window, I can see a little girl and her mother and her baby. She has a little girl, she's not really a mother, and the baby'","I just feel like I don't know. I've got a lot on my mind right now. It's a lot to do. I'm not sure which way I should go. I have to","and that is my problem. You see, I was reading some things, and I read a bit of a story, and it just made me feel so bad. It was a girl who was being","this is the end, we're all going to die eventually. There's no way around it. If I'm not careful, I'll be like those two men in the video. I mean,","my dream that I had last night, which was the same dream I had many times before, and the same dream that my son had, I had this dream. I was on a str","the new baby, the new baby was crying and I was holding the baby and I was crying and it was raining and I was getting out of bed to go out in the rai","and you can go to heaven, you're so good, and then you can see Jesus. You can see him. You can say 'Jesus, I'm so sorry,' because you know he can","and I am feeling all alone now, with a few hundred thousand people, and a few hundred million people. I can't tell you what I'm thinking about now. I'","And I'm here in the desert. It's hot. It's so hot. I feel so hot. And I'm walking through the desert. I don't know where I'm going. I","and it's funny, you know? I've been thinking about how you've never talked about how much you hate me. And I wonder sometimes why you've never done th","And this is all I have to do and that's all I can do, I can't do anything more, I can never do more. I can never be more, I can never do anything","I feel as though I'm trapped in this body that I inhabit. I'm like a ghost that has been reincarnated into this body. I feel as though that's why I'm ","I remember there was a guy who had his own shop in a certain area. There was a guy named Rezayev who had a shop with a little side entrance, and he ha","a little, a little, just a little. It was good, it was good. It's just a little bit. And you're sitting there, just sitting, you can just see. You","the head and neck. Well, not even that. I think of them all, the whole body, the body as it is, as it was. No, not that. It is all this","And I'm a big fan of the Lord of the Rings; you know, the movie Lord of the Rings. It was just a wonderful piece of art; a masterpiece in itself, you ","a great deal of it, you see, is subconscious. The subconscious, as you know, is an immensely rich storehouse of wonderful things. I have been experime","And I saw a little man, a very little man, who was sitting on the end of a table. His hair was a very dark brown, his hair was very short, but very we","and I'm thinking I ought to stop and listen to a record. I'll just stop and listen a little while, and then go on again. I might get into some other s","you could also see...that...is where the...that is a picture of that, of a...you could see what that meant, you could see what...that...it would mean,","and we could say that the difference between the two things is that the first one is more abstract and the second one more concrete. And that the one ","The way I think is like this. When I think, I think about what I'm doing and how it's going, what I want to achieve, what I need to achieve and what I","I remember the last time I did a session like this was when I was in high school and I was working for a professor of mine in the psychology departmen","I'm thinking about the concept of self and what happens to self when the person dies. What happens to the concept of the self when the brain ceases to","I'm not sure what's wrong with the world. But it seems to me that we've got to be the one people who are able to really make a change. The only reason","And it was always the same, for all my life I was trying to find out how I could get to this person. And the way I saw it was, it was not so much this","I'm just so glad to see you...I know you were just out there...I knew you were out there...and you're still out there. I'm just so glad, you know,","it's the same as the morning, so it's almost the same. That's right! I'm the same, the same person I've been all my life. It's a bit of the","And I was a little bit afraid to tell the truth, that the truth is not always what is good for you to know, because I've been living my life and I hav","I'm sitting in my car in front of the apartment. I can see the lights of the apartment building, and I'm thinking, 'This is it. I've waited long enoug","I feel the power of the universe, the power that is inside me and I am this universe. I don't know how to explain this power. I don't want to go home,","I'm so tired. I've been running from this thought for a while. And I'm trying to think what this thought is. I've run from it for a while but I can't ","I feel I'm a part of this. I'm a part of all that's around here. I'm part of the whole and I'm part of each individual. I'm one with it.","and I think I'm going to do the same thing, because if I don't, there's going to be nothing I can do about it. ... And I'm going to start it again.","that's why they have a heart attack. ...And they can't take it any more. And he goes, 'I've had enough of this.' And he dies. And the whole world's","and I'm thinking about the last time I went there, which was about four years ago. I don't think I've been there more than one or two times since that","and we were talking about the big city, and I was thinking, I wonder what's going on down there, I wonder if there's any trouble. I wonder what happen","I am in a car and I'm driving and I can't remember the name of the car I'm driving in. It's got a logo on the front of it. I think I can see","I'm at the University of Kentucky... I'm on a sabbatical. I'm here with a fellow named Joe who's the director of the Center for Human Development. He'","So then the main thing is, in the case of a person that's in some kind of trouble with the law, what I'm doing is looking at the question of whether t","and if the people who are running this, and they're going to be running it for some time, they're going to have to have some kind of, uh, public educa","and it's something that we've always tried to do, as far as we could. In terms of being a government, we have an obligation. I mean, we're all looking","a friend of mine is a really good guy...but...but...I don't want to...I don't think I should...I don't...I don't know if I should. It","the idea of being a parent. I don't know if I'd be a parent. I've never really thought about it. But there are a lot of children out there that have t","I'm thinking about this story right now, and I'm thinking, I have been involved in a lot of discussions about, you know, how do you find the people wh","I was a little disappointed today at not seeing any of the kids, but it was very rewarding, because I really got to know them all. It was hard for the","I'm just sort of thinking about all of those different aspects of the decision and how you'd like to approach them. So, you know, as I think about thi","and in the same way that a lot of people can't even pronounce a word that has a vowel in the middle, and can't even tell what the word means because t","[I] have to learn to be better in some areas...I have to learn how to be a better... I mean, I have to learn what's the most important things for me, ","I'm in the middle of the street. I see cars going by. I see them speeding and I see them stopping. I see a car stopped by a truck. And I see the truck","and we would like to do a bit of testing of that, and we'll try a few things like that, but the major part of the study would be just to do this and t","I'd just like to point out something else, too. It's true that we're talking about a non-linear system and we're using the tools of linear analysis to","I had a little trouble with my voice because my throat was a little sore. And I was feeling, I guess, a little tired. I was also feeling a little depr","I'm here. I'm here in this chair and I'm trying to think about what's going on here. So let's see... I'm here... I'm... I'm sitting here...","so you know, if I had a time machine, if I could go back and change things, what would I change? What I think I would change is a lot of things, you k","I guess it's not too different from how it was when I was a kid. It's more a matter of what we're used to. If we're used to getting all our informatio","the sense of a vague, continuous, undifferentiated flow of consciousness, like the sense of time. (Pause) You know, there's this kind of feeling that ","I'm looking at this person and they're smiling. I've got this person in my head. This person is not very interesting, but I can't think of anything el","I'm thinking about how to use my hands. I can feel them moving. I'm using them to try to turn my wrist. I'm making an effort, and it doesn't feel good","the way you're working here is to build up a situation, build up a scenario, and then you can take it apart and see what it is that you're thinking ab","the idea of this, of this thing that I'm trying to do, the idea of it, the concept of it, or something that comes up that I didn't know, that I didn't","I'm not going to go down the way I've been going. I'm going to turn it around, and I'm going to change things. And I can see this thing as a physical ","this is a problem that I've been having for a while now. I have a set of things I'm trying to do, but I've been doing things that aren't in that set. ","The work on the whole is an awful lot of work. I don't know, I don't see it, and I don't understand. I mean, it's got all these different parts,","the same kind of people, people in general, they have certain characteristics that are useful in dealing with the problems of the human condition, the","the same thing that happened in the first one: I know I was doing this and I'm not doing this and the same thing happens in the second one. There is a","[Saying] I'm sorry is a very good thing. It's very, very good to say I'm sorry. The more you say I'm sorry, the better it is. But if","I'm on a horse and I'm being chased by a group of people. And they're chasing me, and I can hear their voices, and I know they want to kill me, and th","I'm going to do this thing, I'm going to get to the bottom of what's wrong with me. I know the answer, and I'm going to tell you what it is. I","you can't escape. You can't get away from it, no matter how much you run, no matter what you do... there's no getting out... no matter how hard you tr","I am looking out the window. There is a man standing there. He is watching me. I know that he is watching me, and I know that I am watching him. He is","I'm thinking of going to the library tomorrow. I have a lot of reading to do. It will be a good place to work on. And I will be thinking, thinking, th","the road goes on and on and on. We're going to the far end of the country and we're going to come back. But not today. We can't do it today. It's","this morning at the supermarket, my thoughts were all about that woman, what was it that she'd said? 'I think we should go on with it.' 'What do you m","and I'll go on to the next part...that's the rest of it, and then I have to do it again and again and again, and it's got to go in a certain way","and then, if you're going to have that kind of an influence on people, then you've got to take responsibility for it, too, and be careful not to have ","I was sitting in the waiting room of a clinic for mental illness. They had a psychiatrist come out to talk to us, and I was on my hands and knees in t","I'd like to come to work, but I think that's going to be hard for me because of the... well, the nature of the work... I'll have to go in there and I","and we're just all in this circle and then we go in a different circle, a different direction, and then we meet again, and we keep doing that, and the","and, in fact, it's a kind of a technique, isn't it? To have this kind of a moment when you can see everything, to get that kind of a clarity. I have","I just thought, you know, this is what the mind's doing: you have all these different kinds of activity going on at the same time. So this is somethin","you're in your bed at home, and it's late, it's dark. And you're trying to get to sleep. And you don't know what the problem is. You know, your","and if you are not good to somebody it is the same for them, you know? and if you're good to somebody, they have to be good to you, right, it's the sa","I can't tell you what the hell is going on with me, because I don't have any idea. I just don't know. I've been thinking about that for the last coupl","a memory of the early morning hours when I'm trying to get up but it's so hard and I'm tired and it's cold outside, and it's so dark and it's raining ","the sun has gone down, and I'm starting to get bored with being in bed. So I'm going to get up and go out. I'm going out to walk, and it's going","and it's been a long night. And then I had a dream last night about my ex-wife, and she came into my room. She was on fire and she was walking naked a","I can't find it, I can't get to the bottom of it. What is it, what's the matter with me? I don't know what to do. I can't sleep.","I don't know if I've ever been in the room before. Maybe I was just in a closet. I'm looking at a mirror. I'm a kid and I'm naked. My mom","I have a thought about that. I want to say something about it. I think it's interesting. I think that you're all...you're all listening to me, I think","it's all a joke... that's what I've been saying all along. It's all a great big joke... that there's something inside you. There's nothing there. You'","it's like this, you know, if I've ever been a really good actor, I've never been a good actor... because the only thing that I ever felt like doing wa","And I just think I need to start doing this thing again where I'm just like, I'm gonna sit and just listen to all my thoughts and ideas. And I'll just","the part of the mind that's supposed to be focused on something else, but isn't. The part that's supposed to work on one thing, but just kind of meand","[A]ll the stuff that was in the end of my hand, you know, the stuff I was holding [a paperweight and a coin], was the stuff I needed for that project,","the dark part, the light part, the dark part. ... light part, dark part, dark light part, light dark part. And this was my life. ... I thought I was l","I could have gotten a big picture, I could have gotten the idea of a big picture. But then I would have been tied to the fact that I have to make the ","you know how you're kind of, like, in a state of alertness, like you're awake but you're not awake? You know, you're awake to what's happening around ","my body. And I just went out and I got into this state that I'm really tired. So I was laying there. I don't know what time of the day it is, but I","I wonder why my dog likes to get on the bed with me and snuggle with me, and I wonder why he doesn't do it when I'm not home, and I'm wondering what I","the morning. The morning. I see. I see him. He is sitting here. He is, he is sitting here with the blue jeans. He is wearing the blue jeans that he al","and then I don't want to do this. I don't have the time. It's already getting on, and I've got to get dressed and make myself tidy. I don't know what","I just thought that I should call my mother and say I would be home early. But I'm not sure it's necessary. She's been quite happy for the past few ye","so I was just thinking that, you know, I haven't done that much in my life, but I'm trying to live up to the old saying, you know. I think that there ","you can see your dog. You can see him. He's like a dog. A good dog, like the one in the movies, you know. I have a dog, a yellow Lab.","I can't imagine what I'm thinking about, but there's a lot of movement in here. I think it's coming from the back of the room, like something's runnin","the colors I see in my head, I can see a lot of colors. I see white, and blue, and I can see all the other colors too, like red, and yellow, and","and you know what, I have an idea that's gonna help me with this project. This is the project I'm working on at school. I'm working on this, this thin","you know, I'm not sure what this is, I think it's called an amnesia or a blackout, you know? I have this one in my head, I feel it like I'm","I have this friend of mine...I was wondering...I'm thinking about this friend of mine. It's a little awkward, I think I should try to be more friendly","and then there was the time that I went to this one person's house, I think it was this woman, and we were at a friend's house, and it was her birthda","[A]nd the other thing I thought about was that I'm going to get a book in the mail tomorrow, a book on a study of the great writers of the past, and i","you know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I've been trying to think of what it means to be human. I mean, we're just animals, right? W","I think about the way that my brain works, the way that it functions, that it works, and I think about the different parts of my brain. The fact that ","I'm on my way to a class with two friends and there's a lot of traffic on the highway and it's a lot more intense than it's ever been in the past. The","you know, I'm thinking about the state of the nation. You know, you can't be a politician without having to deal with this. I mean, it's kind of, you ","I can't believe you did that. I can't believe that you would do that. And I just can't believe it. It's unbelievable. You don't know me. I don't know","the state of the country. How bad it is, what it is doing, what the politicians are doing. I mean, it's like, I don't want to think about it, I don","the old days...I was in the navy, and...you know, it was a good thing for me, too, because I would have been drafted in Vietnam. But that's the way it","a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I had a little bit more than I have today. I would have to say I have the feeling that I have less than","this is not a pleasant experience. I'm very upset. I have some kind of an experience right now, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be here a","I think I should go to sleep, I really want to, I think I should take a nap, I think the clock is ticking, I'm thinking it's too late. I think I'm","I can see what you are. I see you are a good person, not a bad person. That's why I'm saying you're not a good person. You are not a bad person,","and the way the wind was blowing, you know? It was blowing a little bit too much. It wasn't blowing just a little bit; it was blowing too much, but I ","[the]...[the] ...[the] [the] ... [the] [the]. [the]... [the].. [the] .. [the] . [the]","I've had it. I'm out. I'm on my way. I'm gonna have my fun. I'm gone, I'm gonna go somewhere. I'm done, I'm done.","and what if you are all the time there? I mean you are, you are a part of me...I can see it...and I could be me, and I could be you. And","I'm tired of this, but I can't get away from it, but I don't know why, I can't say what it is that makes it so. It's like a horrible,","the image of a man is coming to mind...he has a bald head, very pale face, very thin, very thin eyebrows...he looks at me, and I'm afraid...he looks l","it was just a bit of a blank, you know. It's been going on since I was a kid. And then I was walking out the front door and I heard a voice. It said","I wonder why I never thought of this before. ... Oh, it's so simple: I'm so wrapped up in the past, I'm not even conscious of what's going on around m","it's funny. I am seeing a little boy. He's like one of my own children. I am very fond of him. I am fond of him as he is right now, just as","the tree stands at the end of the yard. There is a branch outstretched. The leaves are small and round. The tree has a long trunk. I wonder if the tre","and there's some grass in front of my house and it looks so beautiful, with all that spring in it, and it's just this dark grass. And there's a big, b","all that is there, I don't know what is there, but it's so wonderful, it's beautiful. ...I have a feeling that's what I was made to be in the first pl","this is a little bit more interesting, though. I'd rather have this in the story, and then I'd rather it be something in the story about what is going","I would be going down the street...and I'd be meeting people, and they would be people who would be...would be people I would meet and know, and then ","I want to think about what I'm thinking about and how I'm thinking about it and how it relates to my thoughts and my thoughts and what I'm doing and w","there are so many things that we can do to change things in our society, but then, the question is, do we need to make those changes? Like, what's the","we had a time when I was about fifteen, and I was with a group of friends and we went into a movie theater to see a movie, and we had tickets in advan","and I'm trying to remember, I don't know what this is about, why I'm doing this. I'm trying to think what this is all about. What is this all about? I","I have no idea why I am here, what I'm doing, where I'm supposed to be, where I should be, what I should be doing. Why are you asking me why I am","and you know what? I was thinking, that if I'm going to do something like that, I will need a lot of help, because it's like you're looking for a job,","the one who comes, that's the one that's in the future. That's the one who comes to me, or I think of him, or I meet him, but he's not really","and then I had that thought... that's the thing that...I don't know. Maybe it's a dream that's not a dream. Like, the only way you can tell the differ","And, for example, you see the small figure of the child, in the field, in the garden. And you see him, the small figure, and you don't know if he is a","I wonder if I can help you, in your job. Do you have a job? What is it? Is it a job that you like? Is it something you do? Or is it something","And you'll probably... you know, you'll probably see it... you'll probably be able to see it. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to say somethin","what I just said I want to see it and what I just said about being an outsider, I think I want to say I'm an outsider to my own self. I think the pers","and he said, 'I am your father,' and I thought, 'I wonder, is that what he thinks? That he is my father?'... And I was thinking, 'What would it","[M]y life was so very hard. I was 19 years old, 19 when I came to this country. I was in the U.S. Army. And then I","I just got my new car, and now I have to get my license and everything and so I'm just like I got my car. And now I gotta get my license. I'm like you","I don't know. You know I was there with my friend. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, my friend is in my arms...he's holding onto my hands. And I","there were these two men that we were with, and they were on a mission of some kind, and I think the mission was to save some people from the war, bec","I'm having a very strange, strange feeling right now, like someone is following me. I can't shake the feeling, that someone's following me. Like, some","The last thing he said was, 'I'm a criminal, a criminal. You're a criminal. A criminal.' ... I don't know why that came out of him. It was a really","a lot of these people they have to work, you know, you've got to make money, and so they can't take a chance, but I don't know, they do it anyway,","you can do it. You know you can do it. You can do it....you can do anything...you can do this thing....it's easy....you know you can. I know you","I'm having a problem. I'm thinking about what's going on, and I know I can't do it. I'm supposed to do something, and I'm having trouble. It's just","And I guess, what's happened is, my sister just doesn't know anything, and she can't help me, so I don't know why I'm working so hard on it, and I","there's always something that's just going on inside, you know, like it's there. It's just like a little voice that's saying, 'Do this, don't do that,","I guess I should go to my doctor's office and I know I should, but I just can't face going there. I guess I've been so busy lately, trying to do every","this is it. I'm just going to...this is it for a while. You know what I'm going to do. I'm going to go back and...I'm going to get rid","I'm reading a book called 'The Anatomy of Melancholy.' I'm not sure if it's an anatomy book or a psychology book. It's not a real book, it's a made","I wonder if the time to do that is coming. The thing is, I do it anyway. I'm going to do it anyway, and it's a big mistake. I wonder if it's","[T]hat's where I'm trying to get to is the...the...that's the...I don't know why I'm going down this path. [pause] But there are so","and then you know I just think about them and then I think that I'm just doing something stupid. And then I try to stop and I can't stop and then I ha","I think you might know a lot more about it if you could see what I'm trying to describe and I could talk about it to you and you could tell me what yo","I have an image that you are looking at now. I have this image of you looking at me, but then I have to move away and then I think...I think I have to","The more the situation is similar, the more likely it is to be a false memory. And there's an important difference here, because the more you have in ","the relationship between the first and second parts of the sentence, and the relationship between the second and third parts is the same. They have to","I know, I know, I'm not going to get any more of these words out of my head, but I have to try. It's going to be hard for me to think about this","you know what I'm thinking, right? You know what I'm going to be thinking, right? That is what I'm saying. And I'm saying it because it is true. And i","I'm in an elevator. The door opens and someone gets on, but I can't see him. I don't see him in my mind's eye. And I don't know what he's","I'm just thinking about how I have to find my way around this...and I think, I have a feeling of being here, but I'm not really...I'm just kind of her","I'm sitting on a couch. I'm going to lie down. It's hard to breathe, though. I'm on a couch with an armrest in front of me. I have my arm","I'm doing it in this way. ... So it's not a closed box, it's an open box. ... What would you say is the next thing that you want to do, as far","a lot of thoughts have been coming into my mind, and it's not exactly what I thought it would be like. It's not like, you know, I've been told I'm sup","I'm having an argument with the woman I was seeing before I got married and it's been a couple of months and we don't talk anymore and I'm just trying","I'm at a concert tonight. I don't remember who's playing, or if it's one of our local bands, or if they're a touring band, or something. But I'm going","it's not the way that the human race is changing, but rather, it's the way that a segment of the human race, the elite of the human race, is changing.","in a way, in the sense that if there is something we don't know about, we can learn about it. The more that is unknown about something, the more that ","and now that's a whole other issue, because what about if you are a person that has been, let's say, for some reason, physically prevented from develo","so we had this whole series of things going on, all these different things going on at the same time, and what happens is that as the energy is being ","this is a time of great changes and uncertainty. There will be much turmoil. The old social system is going to come apart, and the world is going to c","I can't get back to the future. I can't go forward to the future because the present is too present and it's too present and I don't want it. And I do","I see a black dog, and a white dog, and the black dog is biting the white dog and the white dog is biting it back, and they're fighting. It's an old m","I've been to the lake today, and the lake looks so blue. It's a beautiful lake. There are all these trees all around the lake, and there's a very pret","I see this large and beautiful tree, a map of the tree of life, of the world, the sky above, the earth below, the water around. This is the tree of al","[there] was a little girl who had a little goat. It was a very nice goat, with white fur and a black spot on it. There was another little girl who was","and my eyes were open, and I was thinking about my husband. And he was trying to help me in my thoughts. And he said, 'The word you're looking for is,","and my right ear is sensitive, it hurts a little, and the left side of my head, the left side, a little, my left shoulder is sore. And I can't hear as","I want to be a good mother, I don't want to be so bad, I'm doing a good job, I can't believe that the little girls are so easy, they are such little","I'm wondering, why am I sitting here like this? And I know that's the first question a doctor would ask me. I wonder if I have something wrong with my","so he just said, he's doing well, he's got a really good job, and he's got his kids and he's very happy. So I said, 'You know, I don","and he said, 'Hey, are you the man that I know that's the only man in the whole world that can talk to me and that can do the things that I do and tha","and it is all in there, my past, in there, in that time when I was a kid, and I'm sure you have all that in your memory. I don't know how you","and I thought maybe he's right, the boy is right, that we should really have this. But I thought, what will people say? ... They're going to say, oh, ","the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and I am here with you, and we are on the path to the forest, and the forest is full of people and it is a big fo","the same as always, we can't move without it. And when it comes to the world of dreams, we know, it's just as they say, the same world, but with its o","I don't understand this... I'm not sure it's the way it is. I don't think so... no. I mean, if I were to believe something... I'd have to believe","but I have a question: is the notion of 'the real' a notion in the sense of a word, in the sense that it's something that one can talk about? ...I bel","And the first step in this whole procedure was to understand and to accept that I, like all men, had been born without any knowledge at all, and that ","I'm in a strange place, but it's familiar. It's like a strange dream. The same dream, as if the same dream were constantly changing. The dream changes","the good, the bad and the ugly...that's the way it is. It's not easy to understand. There are two parts, and you have to understand both parts in orde","I'm not sure why we can't be sure about our memories... because there are so many ways of getting it wrong. For example, if I'm looking at a piece of ","It's interesting, if you ask me, how that was so easy to get past. And, you know, you've probably heard the phrase, 'It's not the road itself but the ","I am talking about the future...I don't really have to say what the future is...what it's going to be. I know what it is. I don't want to say what it","I'm sitting in a small car with a small person. I'm driving on a dirt road. I'm thinking of going somewhere. But I don't know where. I don't want to g","the idea that there is some sort of 'resonance' between what the person says, the sound that it produces, and the meaning of it. I think it has to do ","a nice little black dress that would be appropriate for this occasion and which would also be appropriate for the next occasion. So I'm looking at it ","and they're thinking, 'Oh, I'm having a relationship with a woman who has a very good career, who can provide for us and support us,' and then they're","I was doing a study for my husband. He's an executive at a computer company. I was asked to design a system that would automatically adjust the lighti","the main thing for me, and I don't think I can express this any other way than to say that I want to do everything in my power to prevent any kind of ","and we've been talking about this for so long, it's like it's all become part of your day-to-day existence. Like you're working on a project and it's ","the reason why we're seeing that the more that we become more and more comfortable in our lives with our families, and with our community, and with ou","it's all about a sense of belonging, it's all about being an integral part of a larger group or organization or some kind of structure. And if you can","I have this, this thing that I think about a lot. It's not just about my own family, but about how to live with people you love in a way that you can ","And it's not as though this is a unique situation or a one-off situation. It's actually a fairly routine and common thing that happens. It's not like,","I would like to work on my career. I'm working on my career and it's not going very well. I've been doing it for five years and I don't feel like I've","I'm in a car on the highway, I'm driving on the highway and I see the traffic light is yellow. So, I think I'm going to stop at the yellow light. But ","[I'm] thinking about a friend of mine [who] has a son, and he's a soldier in the Army. And they had to send him to Iraq, and the guy just couldn","And it was in 1920, when I was a little boy, I was, I guess, a 15 year old boy when my dad was working in the factory. And","I was thinking about my sister. I haven't seen my sister in 19 years, and I haven't heard from her. I've heard she got married and had a daughter. I w","I remember you asked me what I remember. Well, I can remember everything. I can remember the birth of my daughter, the birth of her sister, the birth,","the women say that he is not my husband, but my brother, and then he's a husband too, so I'm not allowed to do anything about it, so it's going to be ","I think, I don't think... I think I don't like it... I don't know if I'm a man, I'm not really a man... I can't remember if I was","there's an image of the house with two very long hallways and a very big basement with no windows. There are many people there, but I don't know where","a big, a big house... it was a big, big house, and it was an old house. And they lived there in the house... and it was a very long time ago. And","the little old man...he's gone to the pot, and it's all right with me. He's gone to a good place. I was glad he was gone, for he was a queer","a few weeks ago, I think it was, I came home from the hospital and found a man waiting for me. He was very tall and had a mustache. He was in a sort o","I was walking around on a path, in the woods, and I met a stranger, and I thought it was someone I knew from childhood, and I said to him, 'I didn't e","it's not just for the people who are involved. It's for the people outside, too, who don't know the people who do, that they can get a sense of the si","I think you would want to be in the country, not in the city. I don't know why, but that's the way it would be. I think if I were in the country I","so we were in a hurry to get to the boat and get on and go out on the water. They were coming out. So we were waiting there at the dock and all of a s","my room, my room is still standing, but the house next door is gone now, and I have to go on. And I've never been home, never gone back. And I can't","the trees are bending with the wind, and it's a perfect day for the leaves to be blowing. If they're just blowing up here, the wind will blow them dow","I could see that, of course, but, I mean, there are lots of times that, you know, just because you get one good thing, you have to get a second one to","and I remember when I was a kid I remember having the most important thing on my mind, I had a boyfriend, I was in love with this guy. He was really t","a dog is going up a hill...a little girl...he's just been taken from his mother...he's not supposed to have the dog...he's been taken...he's being tak","The words are all falling off the tip of my tongue...I have to remember them. I have to write them down. I have to remember all the words. I remember ","and I can't sleep and I'm having trouble thinking. I'm just really really tired and my head hurts, and my brain is going too fast, and I can hardly co","a little birdie told me I had to get away, because of that other girl...I could go over to her place, but I was afraid, what if she wasn't there?...I","I'm doing this to help me get into a creative state so that when I start writing I can get out of the way of the creative process and just let it flow","this is a little bit of the thought about what I would do in a situation if I could have a different experience of it. So, for instance, if I could go","and so, you know, what do I do? ... I do the best I can, I do the hardest thing I can and I'm willing to put that in the mix, I'm willing","the most interesting thing I think about is how do we, you know, if you're going to put something out, if you are going to put a book out or a movie o","you know, what you're thinking about is you're looking at this and you're not even really sure. You're thinking about this and that and it's just you ","what is the best way to get rid of them [the worries]. The best way is to work through them. ... It's better than ignoring them. The way we've been ta","I'm writing a paper. I'm trying to write a paper on something that I need to learn. I need to write a paper. A paper on the way to write a program and","my name is Alice, I'm a psychologist. And I want to study people's thought processes. So I'm going to say out loud whatever comes into my mind as it h","I just want to see how this works. It's like, like a... like a thought experiment. Like the... like a theory, that it's... that's the way that thought","the people who are the most successful in life and in their careers are the people who have the best ability to look at the world from other perspecti","the fact that the Internet is being used to create this thing called the World Wide Web, which is a kind of virtual reality in which you can meet peop","there is a new study coming out, and there's some kind of connection between the fact that you're awake and in a normal state of consciousness, and th","my son is a neurosurgeon...he's in the middle of a procedure right now at a teaching hospital, and he's probably going to be doing that for a while, a","the brain. The brain is like a computer in many ways, but the computer is like the brain in many ways. The computer's the brain's slave. It's a slave "],["what I was saying, it's really a case of having a point of view, and I mean, I know, I know what that is. I've been through it before. I mean,","And that's the problem, is that you can't decide what to do. I think that the first thing you have to do is that you have to get a handle on your life","and I said, 'well, I'm not a very good chess player, but if you're a very good chess-player you're a better chess-player than me' and it was an awful ","and I was going to write a paper for school about this whole subject of human behavior. I was going to go and write a paper and just read the paper an","and then you look up and you don't know what you did and you have to look through it all again. I mean, it's really, like, you know, what was it that ","I'm having this really weird dream where I'm sitting at my desk and I have this little ball thing that's kind of like an egg, and it's a rubber ball a","it's kind of like a dream. It's kind of interesting to kind of make things up. Like what kind of a story are we going to make up? How do we want to st","I am in a library and I am reading this book and the book has pictures and words. This is an illustration book, a picture book. So, there are some pic","It's all about me. I don't want to do anything to get into a relationship because I feel like I'll be taking on so much more work. It's all about me, ","the way I would think about it, when I first got into that, is that I would think, I know what I want, I want to go to the store, I want a latte","and you know, you know I was looking for something today and you know I'm always trying to find something and you know you find this thing and you kno","I think I can do this. I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this. It's really hard. I think I have a lot of stress, a lot of pressure. I","and we had that first group, and that was about, I don't know, I had it on a Friday night, I guess. I was like, I want to be in a group,","it's really funny, I don't know where this is coming from, but I was like, 'you know what? I don't want to go to the movies with her anymore.' I think","and that's when you kind of look like you're asleep. Because, you know, you have like those moments when you're lying in bed and you're like, okay, I'","and I'm going to have to do it on the fly, I'm going to do it when I can, I'm not going to be able to take a whole lot of time for it,","and that's the big thing in your life, and that's what you have to be focused on. And what I'm saying here is that if you have to keep moving and that","I have been having this nightmare. And I just got up and I didn't even bother to change my clothes or anything, I just got out of bed and I just kind ","and we were supposed to be married last year. My dad and his buddy, they had a boat. So that's how we met. And I didn't think he was married and so he","the whole of your life's going to be a constant battle to do right by your kids, and to do right, I don't think there's anything more important than t","and it's hard for me to be really honest and say that because you're just so great and everything is going so well and I think it's really wonderful y","we are all animals, we're all the same in that way, but some animals have a big difference, some animals have really big teeth, really big claws, big ","I'm always thinking about the future, it's such a big part of my life. I think I'm not very good at it. I don't know, I'm just not that good at","And then there's the next level. I think it's really the next level of being, that's the one that I think is really cool. Like, you have all these thi","And I'm trying to imagine if, say, if the next president, say the next 20 years, I'm thinking about the next 50 years, say the 50-year","I guess the other thing that's going on here is that, like, what you're looking for is a big, broad definition for something, and that's what the huma","it's been like 17 years, right? You know, like you think, 'I don't know what that is.' It's like a, 'I wonder if that's it.'","what if the whole of my existence is a dream, a dream that I've been experiencing and then when it ends it'll be over with. What if this is my existen","the sound of the waves is the sound of everything that is. When I say everything, I mean every aspect of it. It's all one thing. When we think that we","we can do anything if we can get it from the right place. We can get it anyplace we want to, as long as we can get to it. It's the ability to do somet","the universe was really only the sum total of all of my thoughts. But I am the universe. I am God. I am the only one who really exists, and my thought","what do we live for, what is our purpose? Why do we live here? What do we exist for? Why do things exist? We live and we die and we're forgotten by th","And you're thinking of people. And they're not alive, they're not dead, they're somewhere between. But they're not really there. So you're thinking ab","and I remember, in my own personal experience, the way that it was for me, for me to realize that the human body was a physical object, and that there","and now I'm in a very dark space. I'm in this dark space, and I've got a body, I've got an embodied mind. I'm inside of that dark space and I","and you know how when you're standing on the street and you look at something and you're trying to decide whether to go over there or whether to go ov","and I am still here. And this is the state of not being here and here. But if you were to go back, and if you were a kind of light that was going back","and I would like to be able to travel on the water, to go to any place at any time, but I don't think I will ever be able to, because I am in a body","I see that the clock is stopped, that I'm stopped in this space, but I know that it goes on in the other space. That there's some other space that goe","and they are looking at me. And they're looking at me, and then they're looking away. And then they're not looking at me anymore, and I can see their ","you know how when you're lying on your back you can't help but think about your feet and how they're so small and you could have a big big foot. Like ","the baby boy was the only one who was actually crying, I didn't want to pick up any of them, I didn't even want to look at them, I just wanted to igno","this is a lot like when I'm writing a novel or something. And it's the same thing as when I write in my journal, I'll get stuck in my head on somethin","[S]omething came up today about that little girl, and that one thing that I said to her...I said, 'you know, you could do it. And I could help you.'","I'm thinking about my family, they're all here, my brother, my sister, they're having a party today, and it's like, 'You know, I should go. I don","I was really wondering what was going on today. What was going on? It wasn't the usual thing, and it made me feel a bit anxious. I wasn't sure if it w","so the woman who's been working with me for a while, and she's a really great therapist, and she works with a lot of people that have similar things. ","And so, like I said, the thing is, I just want to go to work, to get my own life back. And then I can, then I can have, I know that,","the second thing I'm gonna do is try to do as much reading as I can in a month. And then after that I'm gonna write a review for my book and then, and","the last time that I was here, I was with the other people. I was having a drink. And, I was in the bathroom, and I saw, I saw my own reflection, and","and the only thing that was really good in this job was that I had some real freedom and I wasn't in a department and I could make my own decisions ab","and I'm thinking about this, and then, it's the idea that you want to say it as much as you can. It's like, you know, the first thing I thought about ","[my] life was so busy... I'm thinking that there's a lot of things I'm doing right now... that's an activity that's really important to me and I reall","I'm working on this problem with a group of students on how to improve their communication and interaction in a group. We've been trying to get a list","if you're talking to someone, you're not sure if the person you're talking about understands what you're talking about or not. I wonder what's going o","the way in which we tend to use social media platforms is actually very similar to the way in which I was teaching people to be very careful about usi","the thing is, if I want to find a job in the future, I need to do a lot of research. So I have to really consider what I am looking for, because I can","[the idea of]...using a database of known information to create new ideas, using AI techniques, where we try to build a model of the human mind based ","my research is a lot like this. I don't know the right way to phrase things. I have these concepts, ideas, and I try to figure out a way to phrase the","this is a function of the brain, this is the way that the brain works, and a function of how we make use of it. And I think that if you can make a goo","and I am thinking about how I might go about doing this. So, I could ask the participants to create some sort of a new file in the file browser, but i","I have to look up to the sky and see what kind of sky it is. What color is the sky? Is it overcast, partly cloudy, or clear? Is the sky a particular c","and then I think about the future and that future is where we're going to be going to the same school next year and there are lots of students that I ","So I'm in the park and I'm thinking of the tree of the human brain. The tree of life of the brain. I wonder if that's true that there's a tree of the ","and it's funny, we've always thought that the world was really small and then we come into the 20th century and we know that it's not and it's like yo","and what the next step in this whole thing is going to be is what is really important to me right now. And that's not clear to me. And what I really w","and we're also trying to get at the fact of time. Is there such a thing as time in the universe? Or is it all a big illusion? If you look at it from t","[T]here is an expression 'The future is not what it used to be.' And it's very difficult to talk about this future. It is a very, very complicated tim","I've just had this idea of going to see a group of children who have been diagnosed as having a severe mental illness. Their families have been given ","this is one of the most interesting areas in psychology, the study of dreams, and I am currently researching that myself. This is a dream. This is an ","I was having this vivid dream where I had a lot of vivid dreams. I dreamed about people, I dreamed about cars, I dreamed about animals. The whole thin","that is the nature of the relationship, you know, the relationship between the two of you. That's one thing you'll find. They will be more interested ","And, then, you know, I'm always a little bit fearful that it'll get worse. You know, you feel this, this little bit, and you've got this other little ","The word that comes up now is 'fire,' fire, and the word that comes to my mind now is, is it a metaphor? The fire that you need to keep warm. It's lik","I'm doing well here. I'm not doing very well, and I'm not quite sure why. I'm probably being quite ungenerous, because I'm not getting out much. I'm","I feel the universe, that all is one. I think of the universe as a sea of light. There is no other place to be in the universe. I can't imagine that. ","And now, there is this thing about, in the middle of the night, I'm lying there in my sleep, and there are these thoughts of sorts, images, which occu","a lot of the time when I'm thinking, I can't think. I'm just sort of floating around. But I do think about things, sort of on autopilot. I know there ","I was just wondering about something, actually, about a friend of mine. She was just talking about the fact that the Earth is round. That it's a spher","[I think] about all the things that happened in the past. I don't know why, I think about them. They keep popping in my mind. They're like thoughts an","I feel the sense that I should be working on something I can't right now, but it's something that will help me, or at least, I should be doing that. B","it's amazing what you can get away with, in the sense that you can't do a whole lot of it. In the sense that it's not something that you can just... t","and then I thought about what the world is really like, because I feel so much like I have this one-dimensional perspective. It's not that I'm an idio","I have no idea why I am here, really. I feel a bit like I am on a journey of self discovery. I am not sure exactly why. I think it might be because I ","and in a way, I'm thinking that in order for this to have meaning, I'd have to believe that what you are asking me is important... but then, what woul","so you know, you know, when you know you're having a certain experience and you're like, oh, this is how it's supposed to feel like. But then you can ","I feel like there is a lot that I have to do before I go to sleep. And so I think maybe I can take a short nap before going to sleep. Like I've done i","and I feel that I'm trying to do it so that I don't have to deal with the emotions that I don't want to deal with, so I'm trying to push them down, bu","I think I don't know what I want to do with my life. I feel like I have no purpose, no meaning, no goal. I don't really know what I'm doing here.","I am on a path, I'm going to be a writer. I want to be a science fiction writer, I want to write about my life, about my experiences. It's just that I","I've been working in the public school system for 31 years now. I've had to make decisions that affected thousands of kids' lives and the lives of the","and they have to find a way to make it, but to keep the quality high, to keep the product high. But they have to be able to make it cheaper. ...I thin","you know, and I think there's a whole lot of people who, you know, if you think about the big picture, we live in a world of free trade, right, we liv","the question of how to think is, I think, related to the question of how we want to think. We're not very good at thinking about what we think, and we","I have no idea what kind of things I will have in my head, but I believe that they will be things that are related to my career. So for example I can ","the part of the brain that has to do with speech is not the one that generates speech. This is a part that has to do more with the frontal cortex and ","this is a very important aspect of being human, right? This is something that is very important for us to experience. I've found it fascinating in a n","I've got to get that to be my last sentence, in the same way that I've got all the other sentences in there, and they all have to work together. I hav","and I know that I have to look at my body, and I'm thinking about the body right now, but I'm looking at it more through a different lens, which is th","and I am going to put on a video and have that on and play that for you and tell you about the video, and that will be one of the reasons, and I'll gi","what is it like to be alive, and to be a self, to be conscious, what is this thing that is consciousness, or being alive, and what is it like for you ","I think you're going to get the wrong impression about the study. I was in the wrong room for the first half hour. It's not that you were just an obse","and I'm wondering whether I ought to do it. I mean, I'm thinking about, I don't know, a different kind of person that might do it. ... I don't, I","I wonder if I would still be in the position I would be in, if I hadn't gone back to that group. Because I remember I thought at the time that, 'Well,","I was a kid and we got a new dog. My dad was working in a gas station and he was supposed to pick up this dog. And we got the dog, but the dog was ver","my last child. We're the third time. We've been trying, but you can't predict the way it is. It's going to happen, but you don't know when. Well,","I got an assignment in school today. I was trying to figure out how much the local newspapers paid reporters for their stories. I know the paper pays ","and I'm trying to remember something...the last time I bought a shirt was the other week. It was at the, uh, what's the name of that store where they ","the same, um... I just, I don't know, I feel like, like... um... I guess... I just feel like I'm just... um... I don't, I don","I think about, like, if I were to do it, and if I were a big star and I wanted to be, like, a good star, and I didn't think it would work","I've got to put together a list of things I need to do. I've got to call the house. I've already called the house once. I've been to the bank twice in","I'm going to go ahead and get my money together and send it to you, and then I'll be home for a couple of weeks... I don't know if that'll work out, b","uh-huh. Well I don't know. It was probably just a thought that I was just thinking about doing that. That's really interesting. Yeah. I mean, I don't ","and then you just can't do anything about it. You can't do what you want, you can't go anywhere you want to go, and you're stuck. It's like a curse,","and it was just kind of like...a, it's like this...I don't know, the thought is I don't know. I don't feel very good, I don't know why","a lot of times I'm afraid I'm gonna just wake up and it's like a dream. I wake up and I think, oh that was a dream, but I'm still awake. I","I had an interesting dream that I can remember, but I can't quite put it together. But it was a funny dream, about the little guy that I saw in a drea","I'm sitting in bed and I'm getting ready to go to sleep. And my eyes are open, and I'm thinking about what I'm going to say at the meeting tomorrow. I","you don't really want me to come back. You don't really. ...I'm not really going to go to the show. I'm not sure what I want. I don't know.","it's really not just one, but a couple of them. It's not just one...this thing that's going around and going around...a couple of things...and then th","and it's all so empty, it's all empty. ... I can't believe I didn't notice that before. I mean, it's really kind of interesting. You know? Like, you","the thing about me is I always think about what I'm going to do next. I'm not thinking about my life as a whole right now, but what I'm doing next, or","I'm doing this thing right now, which is this: I'm writing this out of my head into a book, which is like the physical manifestation of my thoughts. A","I am looking for a job, for an internship, etc. I was just going to apply for this one and see if it was anything. I'm just kind of...I don't want to","the way that you have to be a little bit of an asshole to succeed in business, you know, not because you're a bad person, you know what I mean? You kn","so I'm thinking about some of these ideas and it seems to me that these people who are trying to take over the country, you know, and that's where it ","my left eye was watering and it felt like I had been crying and then it was like I was like I had this like this weird feeling of like there was some ","I'm trying to think of some ways in which the act of writing could be used to help people overcome their problems of living in the present moment. So ","I'll say a bit about my relationship to the work of this laboratory. The work is, I would say, important. It's important to the advancement of the kno","the people are so stupid, the people. I think there must be a reason why people are so stupid. And that is, you know, there is no way for the people t","I had a lot of different kinds of memories and things to say about all sorts of things that happened in my life and the things that I would have said ","and we have all these different systems, and so they have to work together. And I'm not sure how it's all going to work out in terms of the details of","you know I'm just a human being. I'm just human, I don't have the skills to understand this. It's not my area. But it's interesting. I'm really curiou","it was the same sort of thing...it was just...a little bit...less. A little bit less of that...then that was just an accumulation. You know?...So, tha","I'm kind of going to go into a little bit of a rant about the way that I view the universe. It's not a rant in the sense that I'm really, I'm not,","I mean I think that when you're, when you're talking about this, I mean, I was talking with my son about this the other day, you know, and he's kind o","I know I have this problem, and it's frustrating and it's important. It's an important issue. It's a big issue, but what's it that I've done about it?","I was just thinking about my family. It's weird how you think of certain things and it just takes over and you start thinking about them, like in a lo","I'm really bored right now. I have nothing to do. I don't feel motivated to do anything. I just want to take a break and do something for myself. But ","the thought of a certain woman, which I won't name. I was at a restaurant the other day, and she was sitting at a table nearby and I saw her. She is v","I'm still having a hard time with that. I'm trying to think of a way that I could possibly do it. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I've thought ab","I've been reading a lot about the brain, trying to figure out what my problems are, what's causing them, and how to treat them. I'm trying to find out","[i]t's always been a struggle. There's a lot of fear around the idea of using medication for bipolar disorder and that's why I haven't had medication.","you know, my car's been making a noise in the engine that I can't pinpoint exactly. I mean, it's not a loud noise, but it's there. Every now and then ","and my job is to get them to do it. It's hard. I'm trying to figure out how to motivate them to do this. The first couple of weeks, I was kind of surp","this is why, when I was looking for a job, I never got the right job. Because I was always looking for a good job, and I wasn't willing to get anythin","and the best thing is I don't even have to go to work anymore and that's just perfect because it's like I can do all these things I don't like to do l","you don't really know what it's like to be an American. You don't really understand it. Because, I mean, you're like, 'What do they have? You know, '","I'm glad to see you again. It's been a while since I saw you, I haven't seen you in a while, I mean you're on a break. I haven't talked to","you're in a plane. I mean, I was in the plane. It's really funny, I didn't know. It's like a, I don't know what, a kind of like","what's the opposite of an opportunity? An opportunity is...I guess the opposite of that is...I'm not sure. An obstacle? No. An obstacle is something t","the door's open and the light's on, and I don't know what to do about it. So, you know, the door is open, but you've got to decide whether or not","and if we are talking about the [s]mallest of things, it's just a question of whether a woman is going to like a particular kind of fragrance or not, ","and I remember one time we were in the kitchen and we had the refrigerator open, and we had all the things in there, and we were having a picnic and w","what's in the middle of the road? (long pause) Well, what's in the center of a circle? The middle of a circle. So, the middle of a road, you know","there's this thing where they have to have a certain amount of people, or people are going to get taken out, or they're going to get put in. I don't k","the mind was wandering and you know I have a very clear picture of the mind wandering. I think the mind wandering is like a train that's going in a ce","it's like a little bubble in my head... it's just like this, a little bubble. And I'm like... a little bubble, yeah, that's what it is. That's what","and I have a lot of, a lot of friends, and I was, I was, like, so, I, I was a, I was in high school in Texas, and then I","I'm going to sleep and I think that I have this dream about my uncle's house and it's in this really weird part of town, and it's like, it's a place, ","you know, I'm really looking forward to the show tonight, I've been looking forward to it ever since it was announced, it's gonna be like a huge thing","and my brother-in-law is here with us, and he's making a big thing about the fact that his girlfriend is coming, which she's coming with us, because h","the girl that was with me in the room before. I don't know her name, but I do remember her. She had an orange shirt and she was kind of pretty, and sh","the thing I'm trying to do is just be, you know, just be in the moment, just be present with each moment that passes... just feel it... just feel that","so I've just been thinking about my cat. And I was thinking about how she is, um, very well. And I've just got to say, I think she's a very wise cat","I was really impressed with the way that you managed to hold on to your sense of humour in the midst of so much seriousness. You are one of the few pe","I've been in a lot of different places, in fact, I have lived in a lot. I've lived in Chicago, I've lived in Philadelphia, I've been to Boston, New Yo","that's how they get the [political] system to work...and we're still trying to figure out what we want to be when we grow up...and we want to make sur","it's really a way to bring all of these different aspects together that make up who you are, to bring them all together so that there's no place for d","you know, you know, I'm sitting here and I'm thinking about my wife. I'm thinking about the way that I feel when she's not around, when she's away fro","and that's a beautiful woman, a beautiful woman with long red hair, and she's dancing, she's dancing and she's moving her arms in the air. And I'm jus","what you're thinking of is, I suppose, what the people who are supposed to do that, that's in charge, in power, and I mean, they're in control, but th","I know I'm supposed to be doing something with you, and it's like, 'Why are you doing it to me?'. I don't think I'm the one you're supposed to do","And so, as a result, this will lead to the fact that a great deal of money will be spent on the manufacture of the weapons necessary for the war. The ","I just came here to think. I think I am thinking of the way my thoughts are made up of images and words, and that my thoughts are the same sort of thi","I just thought of an important thing. There's one way, to tell you the truth, that I've been very puzzled about for a very long time. And that is, the","I don't know how long it'll last. It doesn't seem to have much effect on the rest of us. It's not like the first time I went to a meeting in this room","And I thought, maybe I was better off with you. I think you know what I mean. And I thought, well, you have to admit, I have always had a feeling that","I think that if we could have a dialogue, in which the ideas of the two of us are equal, and if we could see that the other is trying to do the best h","what's it like to have a feeling of being stuck between the earth and the sky? The earth is the lowest possible position, the sky is the highest, but ","that I've been working on, it's really the one that's the hardest, that's the most important one, that I don't feel like I have the ability to do. But","I was working for a company, I had a job. I had a wife and children, and they were doing fine, I had enough money for them, they were fine. They were ","I can't stand the feeling of being a victim. You know that feeling, when you are sitting in the train and there's a man coming up and he wants to sit ","I feel very angry about the whole thing. It's a bit too much. It's just a bit too far. The whole thing is just too much. I think it's just too much,","And so then I was like, OK, I know I have to think about it. So I decided that, since I had a lot of free time on my hands, I would just do the","so they had the job, but they had the responsibility, and the responsibility is a big burden. You're supposed to be the leader, the guy that's suppose","what do we know, right now? What can you say for sure? Is that good? No. Is that bad? No. If we're not prepared for the worst, it's not good","the very core of the issue, that's that you're not the one who's suffering. If you're a victim of, if you're a victim, you know what's happened to you","and the best thing, I think, is the best thing in the world. There's no better way for a human being to be happy than to be able to know that they're ","this is what's happening right now. I'm aware of this pain. And I'm trying to be aware of the pain in order to let go of the pain. And there's a great","and I'm wondering why is it I've been able to have a few moments of joy, of contentment in my life, and it's because I've been living for myself. I've","and I am aware that I am part of my thoughts, not the thoughts. The thoughts are a projection, and I am the observer of them. In the thoughts there is","the dark clouds were moving in. It was a good feeling, and I felt that they were coming towards me, and they were moving me, and I was moving towards ","The other thought is: I do not feel that I am myself, at this moment. I feel like a part of me is gone and another part is left behind. The part that ","The best way to get there was to go out there and make a good plan and follow that plan, but I could also follow the plan that was made and see if the","you have to be able to live with the people you love, the way you love them. And you have to be strong enough to be able to love them, and you have to","the present time is a moment that's very difficult to live in. It's very difficult to be in the moment because it's such an open space and it's so unk","I'm watching the air moving in and out of my body. My body's going in and out. I'm breathing out, I'm breathing in. That's what I'm doing now. I","It was like a very big house. There were things going on inside it. I don't know, there was a lot of energy. I could see this energy moving, like the ","and you have to make these choices as fast as you can, and you have to try and do it as accurately as you can. So you can only do that one time. That'","a lot of it, I'm not sure what's going on with my eyes and my head. I'm not really aware of the visual input but I'm not aware of what's going through","and we all know that in the end of the day it's not so much what you do or don't do that's important, but how you feel about what you're doing, and ho","The two are equally valid. That is one of the things that has always really amazed me. In order for you to be able to do your job as a physician, as a","and if that's the way things were, if you've been married that long, then your husband probably had a lot to do with it. You know what I mean? That's ","And that is the same with the whole world. All of that is part of the process of life. So we are involved in that process and we are involved with tha","a little boy, a little boy running. The little boy is running and it's the little girl's first time, she is standing in the sand looking down at the l","And what I want to do is just have something that is a lot like a movie, because I think that's what the human mind is, is it a movie, or a series of ","and then I would see it. I would be like, 'I want this,' and then I would want that, and then I'd see it all. I mean, it's very interesting because","what is it? The thing I'm doing? What is it? That I'm doing now? What is it that I am doing? Why do I do this? Why do the words come out","you have to know something, that there are millions and millions of people who are not here who are not in this world, who are not even alive, who are","and the world is an illusion, a dream. ...the world is just a dream. I know that. I'm aware of that. I know that's the truth, I know that the world","and I want to be here. I don't want to leave. I don't even know where I am. I don't know where I will go, but I want to stay. I'm","I want to get back to the ground, back to my body. I'm so detached from my body. And my body is a part of my surroundings and my surroundings are a pa","The experience is still there, I know it. It's like a rock in the river. When I am walking through the forest, I see something in the ground that's a ","now I want to look for the answer, but it's too hard. And then, suddenly, there's the answer. It's as if I've reached a point in my head where the ans","[t]hat's what you do when you're going to the dentist, but I don't go to the dentist very often, so... I can't remember, but if you're going and","this is something I have been thinking about. I don't know how to say this, but I've got to find a way. This is why I've been thinking so much. I have","I'm sitting here... I'm lying down, my eyes are closed. I'm here. I'm not thinking about anything. I can't think. I don't want to think. I've","and I'm sitting here in my chair thinking about the way I've spent my life so far, the way I could spend my time if I didn't feel that I had to make a","And the more we say 'I'm doing this,' the less it works. I don't really believe that. I'm not saying I'm doing it, but I'm not doing it either.","[I'm thinking about] my daughter... [I] can't talk about her now. [She] just wouldn't listen to anything [I was trying to tell her]. I'm trying to","my job's not great and I'm not great at it. I'm not really that good at it. It's very much an improvisation of my own. I'm just going along. I","and I had the feeling, you know, when we got there, that we would find, or there would be people standing there and we could say hi. And that there wo","I remember the day my mom and my dad married. I'm in kindergarten, maybe 5 or 6 years old, and my mom was pregnant with my brother. We were in the mid","I got in my car and I had the CD player turned on and it was a really cool song and it was by...it was a really good song, and it was...oh yeah, I","I think about how I could have done more, more. Like I was sitting in a meeting and I had the chance to say something and I didn't say anything. I cou","And then, just, in the morning, the next morning, you know, it was just this thought. It was this thought. And I was like, 'Oh no. Oh no. I","I want to go to the beach, but it's raining, it's going to be a long day. I've got to call my sister and tell her I can't make it. I'll","I don't like how I am... I want to be different. I don't like being here. I don't like this... I want... I want this to be over... I don't","[I]n my mind, I'm an old lady that has to go to the doctor. I'm very nervous about it. I'm always a little afraid. I can't remember my last","[I]n a way I've never been a part of a team. I'm a little bit of a loner. I have a very hard time expressing myself and talking to people. I","[I was thinking about] my birthday coming up. That was really neat. I'm 26. And I just celebrated my last birthday. And it's really neat. So it's comi","[I'm] wondering if we can work on the next session, where we can work, really, more deeply into some of the feelings that you're experiencing. You kno","it's interesting because the question was, how many people actually come to the gym? I guess, in my mind, I can imagine that maybe 80 or 90 percent of","And then the other thought was that there was something else. I have this one idea that if you had a car that could do 240 miles per hour, and it wasn","I'm at the supermarket and I'm picking out the ingredients to make a cake for my son. He's two years old. He's very good about sharing the cake, and I","a lot of my writing is like this, too, I find. It's like it's not my own mind. I'm sitting in an airplane and I'm having a conversation with someone e","the picture of my father. I know he's a good person, but I have this picture in my mind that he's a bad person. I know that's not the case, but he is","I am sorry I didn't tell you what was bothering me. I was afraid that I might offend you. I have been afraid of hurting people for my whole life. I've","I think about the whole world, I think about everything, and I can't stop, it's like I'm going crazy, I can't help myself. I have this feeling of bein","I think the real problem, and I don't mean it to sound cynical, but I think it's just that you're trying to explain what's going on here to me, and it","and I think of my brother, and I think that he's got a problem, and I don't know what the problem is, but I know that he has a problem. And I don't","I have this friend, I don't know how to say. He's a little bit gay, but he's not gay. He's kind of, he's in his own world, and it","it's that people just do what they do and if you want to understand them, you have to do what they do. That's the way to understand them. ... and the ","and it was as if he had always known that his family was going to die, but he hadn't made the connection between that and the fact that his wife had b","I just finished writing a poem today about being a black man in America and the constant feeling of being under threat. And I'm not sure what to do ab","and the first question is: if there is a God, why is it that God allows evil to happen in the world, and that man has to choose between good and evil?","You know, you see, I can't remember. I'm in my apartment and I'm supposed to be doing things, but I can't do them. I can't go to work. I","I think about people, people, how do they live, how do I live? I'm trying to figure it out, I'm trying to find the answer. How do you know how to live","the good old days in school ... when I was little, I had to learn, learn, learn. I couldn't think of anything, I just learned. When I was a little boy","and so, that's how I'm going to get to New York. And I'll tell you, it's funny. You know how, in the movies, when you get to New York,","it's interesting, I was looking at my clock right before I took the test and it's not like I wanted to take it so I was just sitting there like this a","I'm watching something. It's like a video on a computer or something. It looks like it's coming from the floor. The image is sort of fuzzy and it's li","the scene from the movie, where the girl is running, and the guy is standing there looking up at her, and then he runs in the opposite direction. The ","It's so hard. I need to take a nap. It's hard to concentrate. It's a bit dark. It's getting dark. It's so dark. It was so dark. I","it's so weird because I'm in this room by myself, and I can see things, and it's like, it's like I'm seeing a dream. But it's like if you're","I have no idea. I can't remember what it was... I remember seeing it once or twice. I don't remember what happened to it. I just remember that it was ","and I've got a big, fat cat up there, and she's not sleeping and she's, she's like a baby, and she doesn't know when to go to sleep, she's","I could be right next to him and not know it, because I'm so good at being invisible, but I would know it and I would see his eyes, and he would say, ","it's a dog thing. You're looking at it too. It's like an eye of the storm. It's the eye of the thing. The thing that is happening right now. You're","I'll take a long break from this work, just a long break. I think it's good. I think I should be in a long, long break. A month or two or a year","I feel the pain in the left side of my chest, like a rock being hit. It's like a stone, a rock, a boulder in the center of my chest. I think I","it's kind of funny. I remember when I was young and I didn't know better, I just kept asking my parents questions. I was so curious about everything. ","I'm looking for someone to work with. I'll give him the whole package and he'll have to sort it out. It's like you have a person who's being dragged a","there's this, it's like, it's not so much a picture, it's a concept. It's not something that could be represented, but it's just... a kind of... a","we just saw a monkey on the street...I'd like to say that the monkey...has got no sex life...the monkey has got no sex drive...and it's got to get out","I'd love to say: 'Oh, it's just a little something, just a little thing.' But it's not just a little thing, because the little things are the little t","a kind of life that I have, but it's not one that I like, or am comfortable with. I was born with the personality of a man. And then, when I was growi","I'm a very strong believer that there is a God, and that God is very good and has done all right in the world and that there are some people that are ","I want to become the owner of the body, because the body is the body of the devil. I want to give up my body to God, but I want to know if I can give ","and then there is this desire which comes and goes like a wave of the ocean. Sometimes it is present; sometimes it is absent. And this is what gives u","you're doing the thing of the moment. You're doing the things that are happening right now, not the things that happened in the past, not the thing th","a lot of these things have to be dealt with and some of them will never be dealt with. If they never are, then you have to deal with that and that's w","and we will all be saved by love...because love is what brings us into this world. We're all here in order to learn love, and to be loved...because th","so we can say that the world is a product of our imagination; it is only an object of our thoughts. It doesn't have any existence. And so we can say i","I remember that the day before yesterday I was in the bathroom and I was just sitting there. And I said to myself: 'What is this thing? Why am I in he","and the idea that I might be able to use the computer as a kind of magic box to sort of create an image that then would take me into another realm of ","it's the other way around, I think, at least the way I perceive it: you do something that you're not aware of in a moment, but it comes back and you r","and this is what is happening in my body. I'm beginning to feel a heaviness in my chest, and it's as if I am being pressed, squeezed, compressed, and ","I remember a story that I'm telling myself that goes back to the beginning of my life. In the beginning of my life, I was very conscious of how I look","the only way that I can relate to these images is by using my imagination, but that's all it is. I have to imagine these things and I have no way of k","I think it's not a good idea to make it a more complicated one. If we do, then we might end up with an even bigger one. So let's think about this more","I'm a very shy person. I mean I have an inner life but I don't know how to talk about it. I mean, when I was a child I didn't have a lot of","And I can't see the point. Because it's not as if there's some great existential danger in the world that is the purpose of the project, in the sense ","I would like to say something about what I've been thinking about and talking about in this class and this is, the nature of human beings and the natu","It's interesting that what we really understand about the way we do things is that we're constantly changing the way we are and the way we're doing th","it was all good. It was all good, there were no problems. It was very easy to come into being, and now it is going to come into existence. In other wo","I've got to be here, and I've got to have my own house, and I've got a job. And then the rest of my life will fall into place, like a puzzle.","you know, that is, like, if you know, and then you know that that is an important part of a relationship, that is the quality of the relationship that","it's funny that the past is so important to us, and I wonder if it's not that important at all. I mean, it's the only thing that we know we can't chan","I know, but the main thing is, you've got to get it done, don't you? You can't keep it hanging over your head, can you? I mean, I can't","what happens when you look in a mirror, does it go right? Does it go wrong? I mean, are there two of you? I mean. If you could put two of you in a","I was thinking about the problem of the computer, how you get to the solution and how do you find the answer. And I think there is two things that you","I remember reading about this in the Times in 1935 or 1942 or something. And I think I have it in some book of the things that have happened to me","what I've learned, which is that it is in fact the case that the two main forms of knowledge, inductive knowledge and deductive knowledge, are fundame","[I] have an idea that there may be a connection between the idea of self-consciousness and the idea of identity. Self-consciousness, for example, can ","I have a thought that the fact that I can't make any new decisions that aren't already implicit in what I am doing now means that the world is going t","if I have to do it, I can always do it...I think about the concept of doing it. I think about the fact that doing is a very important thing, and it ha","and so here are my two options. Option 1 is to write this paper, and the thing to write about it is how much it's about me. And, the thing about that ","a nice story: one of the women came in and said 'I need to get a vasectomy done, so I want you to come in and do it for me and then, as soon as","we're trying to make some changes here in the project, because the project itself is getting bigger. I mean, it's just getting bigger, so we're trying","[w]e need to make the argument about the importance of the arts, and make the case that that's going to be the big issue, and not just a footnote, but","it's the best place for people, just like we are here. It's a real place of peace, it's a real community that's peaceful, that has a lot of wisdom, th","and we have to start getting into the art of negotiation. And I think that's one of the most important skills. How do you negotiate? And you can negot","[S]o I'm looking at it as if I have a friend or colleague, who has done something like this, who has this kind of experience, and I'm trying to imagin","you know what, it's just the very fact that we are in a classroom, that we're sitting in this auditorium with a group of other people. And in that way","and the idea of the world of the unconscious, of a world that is in fact not so very unconscious but very very conscious. So that this world, you coul","and then there's the other side of it. When we do this and we talk about it in the session, it's a different thing. In the session it's not about that","I'm doing what I'm doing because of a habit that has developed, it's been with me for a long time. It's been with my teachers and people who have infl","so, if you're in a situation like that, I think it would be worth it for you to go out and find out who is responsible, to take whatever action you ne","you know, I had a dream, that I was going to be a lawyer. And that I was thinking that it was going to take a couple of years to get out of college an","and I think of you too. And I'm kind of curious because it's a whole other issue, which is what, you know, if somebody has a mental problem and then t","and I think about when I was going to be an architect, and that was something that was a dream, and then I never really got around to that because I e","the [university] I went to, I didn't get anything that's really applicable... I think I had a lot of knowledge, but I don't know if I ever really took","I can't sleep very well, especially at the end of the school year when I have to prepare for finals, so I'm not very alert. So when I'm reading a book","[it's] a [kind of]... like an... a [kind] of... an idea, and I've got a little idea... it's the idea... you know, it's","[it] is a lot like when I'm thinking about something, or when I'm driving home and I'm listening to music and I'm just thinking about stuff. But I don","and what I want to do is to learn more about the way my brain works, so that when I am having a conversation and I start to think about what I want to","And there's one thing that really annoys me. I just keep finding that I am a terrible student. I've really tried, but it doesn't work, no matter how h","I'm sitting here with my feet up and I'm not very hungry. I'm trying to think of some kind of an exercise. It's been a long time since I've done anyth","the [blank] is a symbol of the [blank]...of the...[blank]... [blank] of the [blank]. What does that mean?...a symbol of the...[","I am talking to myself. And it's almost a dialogue. And the problem is that sometimes the person who is talking is not really me. I'm not sure who it ","And so, for instance, the question that I often ask myself is, why is it that people don't know about other people, other people, as they themselves w","And I am just going to be me. And I can be the same, or I can be different, or I may change. And I have always been the same, and I will always be","and in the middle of this all I am still very much interested in that question about what we see and what we do not see, but in addition I have a ques","I'm a realist. I see it's impossible to have anything for the sake of something else, because the other thing doesn't exist, and therefore it's imposs","you've got to start from something. Something. Something, some event, something. Something is happening. You can't start without something happening. ","the old saying, 'every cloud has a silver lining'.... And what a terrible thing to be on a train to a funeral, to be travelling away from your friend.","what would you call a man who...has always been...unfortunate? What would you call him?...an unfortunate man....A man who always has been unfortunate.","the big question is: how can I really change myself? How can I change myself without using my ego as an instrument? There are two ways to look at it. ","and now I'm not thinking anything at all. And I have a feeling I'm just...a feeling is a bit of an inaccurate word, but it's the best I can think of..","this is a dream...I'm in this world in which everything is dead. There is this mass of water and it is blue. And it is the same colour as the sky. And","my god, how terrible this is. The light, it's too much. I must not let myself be overcome by this light, by this pain. The pain of the world. It is ne","the sense of being watched, of being known, of being judged. A sense of being trapped. Of being inside a cage, a closed cell. Of being watched by all ","I've always known. I've always suspected it. That's why I had to speak to you so much. I had to. And now I know it's true, even though I can't","and it's... it's the same thing in the... in the body, is it not? ... you... you have to realize that your own body is also a temple, that also... you","and I was thinking: is it true that the person who is very conscious of themselves is not really conscious of what's happening inside? It's not that t","I'm trying to get a grip on myself. I've got to be more focused, because I don't know what's happening. It's like a machine I can't control, and I can","[I]n the past, when you're...when you're young and you're very, very eager, and you're getting all kinds of...and you're in this state of mind where","it's something like a daydream, but without the daydream. It's more like a stream of consciousness that just flows. It doesn't flow into a single dire","I think of all these things that I might do. I have many interests, but I don't follow any of them. I feel that I could do things. I could do a lot of","and if that's a real situation, then how do you deal with it? Do you change the situation or do you not? In other words, what would be the thing to do","[i]t's something that, if you really look at the history of, of the development of language, it's an incredibly difficult process for someone to under","it's almost like a whole new world, almost as if it's completely different, completely new. It's just a new way of living that I can think about, and ","I'm looking at this problem in the light of the question, and the question is, well, is the light going to be the same, is it going to be different...","I'm not sure that you know what I'm talking about. But I've just come back from a long time ago and I know that that's what we do here. We're just lea","[I]t is hard to explain. There's this word 'sudden' and I think I've had this feeling for a while. I'm not sure if it's my own personal feeling","And what I have been thinking about is that I have been using my computer to make things like this, which is a kind of expression. So I'm using it to ","and then you are the person who is in front of the computer and you have to write that book. And you're in front of a computer that you're used to, yo","[A]nother thing I was wondering about. It is about how to teach the body, how to make it to be conscious, to be aware. I think we have to start from t","what kind of machine is that? It's like a kind of biological machine, or it's like a computer, or it has some kind of biological computer in it that m","and that's the first thing that comes to mind: I remember the story of a girl who was the only girl in a family of brothers, and the father was very s","The third stage is the one that I'm working on now. I'm in the third stage and I'm going to be in the third stage for a long time and then I'm going t","I'm working on this. I'm thinking about a plan, and I'm also working on a plan. I have to have two plans. One to make a plan, another plan to make a","[I]f I were to... [to] put on the basis of the fact that it seems that the future is... a very important aspect in this [the] creation... of our being","a thought arises in my mind and I wonder whether it is true or false, whether it has any reality. For example, the thought that my memory is not true.","there's the idea of what's true and false, there's a kind of truth, and then there's a lot of things, but in the end we're left with that notion of tr","and I think the person that was in the car with him was a very, very, very important part of what happened, and what was going on and that person's fe","And so there was a huge debate over whether there was a difference between the way the brain is organized and the way the mind is organized. So, the b","my thoughts were to the point that I could remember the name of the company, I could remember what I had done for them. I could remember who they were","I'm trying to decide between two people. It's not the same person. I don't even know. I don't know exactly what's going on. But it's a choice I have t","and I am thinking about this man, and this man, these women, and how they are different from me, or not different. The more I think about them, the mo","and it's almost as if it is a question of, like, 'Am I worthy?' And this idea of being worthy or unworthy is something that I am deeply confused about","and he doesn't understand it, and he wants to say it's because of my reaction, but in fact, what he doesn't realize, is that he has been doing exactly","I have to write something and I'm afraid of what I have to write, so I don't want to write it. I'm going to try to write it anyway, because I can't wr","I can't stop thinking about the girl. I wish I could go back in time. I don't want her to leave the house. I'm so afraid of losing her. I'm afraid of","this is the other thing about the Internet... it's so powerful and so accessible. The only thing that makes me scared is the fact that it's so easy fo","my thoughts are more about me than anything else, and I have to realize that's how it is. But I have to think about what is going on with other people","I'm going to have to find another job...I'm just going to have to...I mean, I can't stay unemployed forever. I mean, I'm going to be really poor and I","[Says something about] a thing that was done. I don't know what the thing was, but I know that I can't remember it. I don't want to go back there.","and what I'm going to do is I'm going to try to work out what I think about, you know. What I'm going to say is I'm just going to let anything come ou","I think the way this works is that they're going to have to learn to use that information and apply it in the same way that they would a textbook and ","it's a different problem than, you know, if you're a software engineer, you know what you're working on. ...But if you're doing something like...I thi","so it was interesting, because I had actually been doing the same thing for the past four or five years, where I have these little little conversation","the point about this is, it's really a different experience than you get if you try to do it on purpose. I mean, if you try it on purpose, you have to","I've always felt like I had this other self that was like, 'Hey, get on with the stuff that you're doing'...and then you're trying to figure out what ","I think my dog is okay. I don't know how much he'll do. I know I've had him a long time, but it's been a long time since I've had to look","and this is my mom, she is an awesome, awesome woman. She was always the most talented person. The person with the best sense of humor. The best perso","the other thing was I started thinking of some sort of plan to help out the homeless. I don't know how effective it would be, but it would be somethin","I'm going to be a good parent. I'm going to make sure that I don't let [child's name] get too spoiled by being rich and spoiled and not learning anyth","And then I'll get back and then, then, I'll get the opportunity to go in the theater and see my own work, you know? And I don't really know what that ","[a] lot of the people around me that are in my life, they're pretty happy. I'm the opposite of happy. It's always been kind of like I'm kind of depres","the problem is I've got a really hard time when I have to think. So, I know it's really important, but I find it difficult. I find myself wanting to j","And then there's the little things. When we talk about it, I mean, when we talk about our family, or about our jobs, or, you know, the people that we'","So what I'm doing is trying to be like you when you're doing something... And I think you're great. And you have a great...you have a great ability to","and I know that there are a lot of people who are saying, 'Oh, you're going to have to be in a state of constant alertness.' And I know that some peop","and I guess you've got to be willing to have certain things happen, because they do. They just do. I mean, you're just the result of the sum of all th","I can remember as a child when I was quite small, I used to read books with my mother, I think that was one of the first experiences that made me love","I've never met anybody I've liked for a long time. And the only person I really wanted to get married to was my brother. But then, we grew up together","I see myself as someone who's quite alone, a loner, I don't think I'd really enjoy any sort of relationship in which I felt that I wasn't really being","[i]f I had to get married to anyone, it would be to my sister. She's so sweet, she's just like me, but she doesn't know I'm like that,","I know you don't want to think about it, but it's about to happen, and you'll be in it. And it'll be so good. And I don't want you to go","I wonder why I'm here, or why I'm going to do this thing, which is so interesting to me. It's been a while since I've done anything that really intere","and it's a good thing. You see, I have no money. I don't have money. And I never will have any money. And it's a blessing. I mean, I think","I know that this is not a very happy person. This is not a happy man. Not happy. Not happy, not happy. He was never happy. He never got to be happy. I","and she, in order to keep a decent reputation, would not have to admit that she had had sexual intercourse with a man. She had had it, but she was not","I am in a small room. There is a large bed and there's a table next to it. There is a lamp on the table. I am sitting at the table. This table is cove","I could make a good career out of that. I've been a very good secretary for twenty-two years, but it would be good to move on into a position of some ","I have just been thinking of that one old lady who is a nurse. She's the one who is always coming round at night to see me. I don't know why, because ","a long time ago, I was a soldier in the Army. I was a truck driver in the Army, and the Army put me on the street and then put me on disability and pu"],["[15] We could go back to our house. If we were to get to our house, we would have a lot of things we wouldn't be able to do, we'd be tired","this is the other thing I've been trying to figure out, and it's not coming. I'm trying to get at it, and it just isn't coming. What I was going to sa","and if we are really honest, we might have to say, if you have to deal with this, then you're not a scientist; you're not somebody who can do science.","I think of what I'm doing, like, what are you doing in your life, you know, what is it? I'm a human, you know what I mean? So I don't","it is the same thing, but I'm a lot younger. I don't think I can change anything in the middle, but if it's not working, then I'm going to have to cha","and so I guess that's that. I have no idea what you're talking about. I have absolutely no idea, you know, that's what I'm saying. I can't find it.","I can't be here, can I? I just can't be here. I'm supposed to be elsewhere, you know. I'm not here, I'm not listening. I'm somewhere else","And that's when I think about, you know, the way I'm writing the thing now. I know that if I don't finish it, if I don't, you know, just make","I don't know. You know, it's kind of hard to really answer the question. But, I mean, I do. I have. I do. ...I have this one idea about","I was watching an episode of something, a reality show. And one guy was like, he was doing something and then he would get up and say something to the","okay. So I think I'm going to be at the store again today because my sister's coming up and she's going to be there. And I don't think I've been there","and then, if we're lucky, it might not even come out and I think that would be kind of fun because, you know, it's not like we're talking to each othe","I'm in this building, in the hallway. There's a door to my office, and I'm about to enter it, but I realize that I just saw a meeting and I was suppos","And that's really the last thing I'm thinking about, is what I'm going to have for dinner tonight. It's kind of a weird thing, I've never really done ","this is me thinking about it, it's not really a thought, but it's kind of like, it's kind of a thought, I just said that. But it's not quite a thought","what I do know is that my mother's got a thing about me...because I'm a little bit like my mother, and I know that she has a thing about that, you kno","[I was] sitting here with my hair tied back and I just have no hair and I just started thinking about how people see you and that kind of thing, and I","I'm a guy who's trying to think of ways to make it big. I'm trying to get a job where I can make it big, but it's hard. I'm not really sure","it's like you don't have anything going on and it's just like you're in the middle of nowhere and you just like have this one thought and that's it an","I'm thinking about this paper I'm writing. I think about this paper. I want to have some sort of like a beginning or something like that. I don't know","so you're the only one that's...that's not really a good thing is there? So it's not good that you're the one. So that means that it's not...the probl","[t]he other day I was sitting down and I was listening to some music and I was thinking, well you know you have to find that balance between when you ","the door... door, door, door. Door, door... door. I'm just going to write out a whole bunch of things... that I want to write about and see if I can g","and then it occurred to me that when you're doing something, it's not like you're going, 'I'm going to do that.' You're just doing it. You don't say,","this is just some random thoughts...well, I guess I don't know how to think about them, I don't really know what to do about this. Maybe I need to do ","I think I'm gonna look at this now. I don't think that's it, but that's okay. I don't know. It's just a little confusing, and it doesn't mean","okay, so if I think about something, then what comes to mind is, you know, like, okay, let me think about something like, like, like this, like I'm li","[I]t's kind of like how if you think about the most important thing or the most important [thing] that you want to do today or, I guess, what you want","the sound of a very loud truck driving through my head, and the sound of a door opening. And a woman's voice saying, 'Hi, I'm so happy to see you, wha","there's this kind of feeling of 'no matter what, I can do it.' I don't know why, but it's really nice. It makes you feel like you can do anything. Lik","what are the symptoms of Alzheimer's? What are the symptoms, and... I'm looking at the page again. You know, I'm really not sure. And... I don't remem","that's something about the future, and I can't tell if that's a positive or not, but it's something I'd like to get into. I think that's what I was tr","the other day we were talking about how I was feeling bad about my life because I have these things going on in my life, and I think I don't really ha","and I just want to know whether you feel that you're really doing what's right, or whether it's just a matter of not doing what you wouldn't like to s","the more I think about it, the more it occurs to me, the more that's going on in my mind, I'm going to have to write this down somewhere. I want to sa","and the thought is that you could write a book, that's one idea that I had. A book on what I've been thinking about, on what I have been going through","that's exactly what the media and the people say, but it's not that simple. You know, you're very dependent on your friends, you're dependent on the m","and I can't, I mean I'm, I'm, and I've been saying that, and I think I'm gonna have to say that for a long time, that I'm gonna get","So, when we go into the store, it's like going into the store. And if somebody's coming in the store, we want to find out if we're going to be okay, l","I'm just going to get back into my office and sit there and read a book and try to relax, you know, and that's kind of my thing, like, you know, I jus","I mean, I mean, I think we're just so isolated, in that sense. Like, there's so much more to our lives than we think. That's probably part of my probl","I've got to make the connection with my audience, they're watching me and if I don't make that connection with them, the whole show falls apart. I've ","I think that that would be, that would be one of the biggest differences between this and the other things. I'm just going to keep on going. ... That ","And it's just the way that it is. I can see it as a system. I don't know, I mean I guess the most obvious, the obvious problem with any system is it h","And that was like this. And then I was in a hospital, and I had some pain. And then it was like, 'Oh, this is a hospital room.' And then it went back","The world is a very large, complicated and complicated, but not complicated in that way. The way it's not complicated is that it's not a series of sep","I can feel the ocean. I can feel it, and I can see it. The ocean is an object that has the power to move me. I can see the waves, they are moving.","and then they say, they say, 'Why are you here?' ... and they say, well, there are a lot of reasons, but basically it's because of my parents, and my ","there was a time when I was going to be the perfect person...then, I was the perfect person and then I was going back to being the person that I was..","and we have that one thing in common, you and I. There is the question of where it came from. I think it's more important. I think that is where the r","[S]tay here, and it's always there. I can't stop thinking about it. You can't get away from it. It's always in your face. And yet, you","a thought just came to me: I had a friend that had a friend who had a friend, that was in the war. And he had a dream of his brother in the war, and h","and the second one, when I got there, I looked at it, and there was a dog. I saw a dog. It was a black dog. And the dog was there and the house","and I'll go to the theatre now, it's the weekend, I think. And I think, I could go and see 'The Song of Bernadette', I remember having seen it once","a song. 'The last man on the Moon', but there's some mistake. I think it was 'Last Man on Earth'. I have no idea. But it was the song of the last","you can't imagine what it was like in the seventies, when we lived with a TV, and in the summer we'd go out with a gramophone and a tape-recorder and ","[my son] just called me on my cellphone. ... I have an appointment to meet with the boss this afternoon at three o'clock. ... He [my boss] is always c","The same kind of thing that was happening with me on the airplane...I just had this whole sense of being like an atom, not having a self, but just bei","I'm going to get myself some glasses. I have some glasses over in that little room there. It's a little closet over there. It has a table in it. It's ","I can't remember the title of the last book I read. Oh, the last book. I read a book in the other room. Oh, it was the book that the library loaned to","a voice, and he was looking in the mirror at me, and the mirror had a hole in it, and I said, 'Hello.' And he said, 'I know that.' And he","I can see a scene where the whole thing happened, I think, just the way it happened. And I can see it all over again. I think there are several parts ","the stars. The stars are the stars. It's the stars. The words are the stars and the words are the pictures, the pictures. The pictures of the stars an","I see a tree. It's a white oak. It's dead. And I'm walking up the hill in the dark and I can feel the wind on my face. And then I'm at","the circle of the Earth and the sun and the stars, and the moon and the constellations, and the four seasons and the cycles of life, and the way the t","I'm having a bad dream. I'm going to be hit by a truck. I don't know where. I can't see. It's not a truck. It's a car. A","it's an infinite, infinite, infinite universe. And, you know, the light from the stars is not going to make it here, it's going to go away, but the st","I think about this girl who used to live in a village, in the mountains, in the past. She was a little girl who had to go to the river to bring back w","I just know that I will be gone before I know it. And I think I've never been able to get over the fact that I can't get there. I think I just got ove","now I am going to remember what I saw in the world yesterday. I remember that I saw a lot of things. There were people, and they were all going about ","I don't know what to make of all that. I don't know what it means. It's not real. It's just a trick that the gods play. I don't think they're","I'll have to write an article on this in a month, to have enough time to think about it. I'm having a hard time making it up. I've got a headache and ","And this, of course, is a new thought, which is perhaps even more important than the ones that I have just had. I have been thinking of what I said ye","and the feeling that there are so many ways in which I could be, I could become, the possibility of becoming so much, the impossibility of becoming so","and this is where it gets tricky. In order to get this to work, you have to have a high level of concentration. The more you concentrate, the more the","I know the one who can't see the sun. She can't see. That one is the only one that can't see. And if you're talking about a person, and you're not","[the] train [was] very far away. We [were] waiting [for it]. ... [The] train is [going] to be here [at] any [minute], but","a big picture is to be drawn. A picture that has been in the works for a long time and that will be drawn. I am going to make a picture that I have in","[the woman] is going to make some noise, it is getting dark, the girl is going to sleep and I am going to sit in my armchair and wait. She has been ta","I see a blue flower. It's so blue it seems almost to be blue light. The light of the moon on the water, as it's going, going away. The water is going ","and what you're doing now is an echo of your past, right? But you're not here right now. You're not here. You're going forward. And the past, as an ec","you can't hear a thing in your head. You can't even see a thing in... you see something, but you don't see anything, you don't recognize it. It's just","I have a question... What do you think? ... I wonder what it is for me to think, what do I think of, what does it do? ... what am I thinking about? ..","[In] a certain way, a dream is a waking life. It's a real life in a different dimension. There is no separation between dream and waking life. The dre","I am right now here in my body and it is a lot of sensations that are happening right now. I'm sitting down with my back in a chair, but I feel a litt","I'm trying to think of an appropriate title for my own session. I think the title, of course, is 'The Process of Thinking' - that's what I'm doing, an","I think about my sister. She's sitting in an armchair. I can see her. I think about my mother. I think of my sister, of my mother, and also of my fath","I think of the people who I'm sure are dying...I mean, people are dying now, but I'm sure that's true, that's what I feel about it...and they're dying","this is so much more of a puzzle. I can't see through it. I can see through things but not through people. I'm seeing through things and I can't get t","I'm talking about...I'm not sure what I'm talking about, I don't know how to...what I want to... I know I want to say, I'm not sure how to","I feel so bad for not having been able to call you before, or anything like that. I've been feeling bad because of the way I've been thinking, and how","I was just thinking of the people I met on my way here, and it's interesting, and I can't think of anything specific that you'd want me to say, but it","I can't help myself, you see, I can't help thinking about my son, even though I don't like him, even though he's a little bit of a bastard, even thoug","so if it was so bad for me, what happened to me...why...what was my fault...I've never done anything bad in my life...why is this happening to me...I'","The boy I fell in love with when I was seven, he was really, really a pretty boy. And I mean he's not just pretty, I mean he was the prettiest boy.","I'm an old man, and you're a girl. And you know what they say: an old man and a girl and a dog and a cat. But it ain't fair. I think","so that's where the picture goes. That's where the car goes. [A car appears in the picture] There's the car. And there's the bridge. And there must be","the color of the sky is the same, the sky is blue, the same as it was before. This is the way it is now, like a picture. And the picture, it's as","[the sound of a car going by] ... [the sound of the car] ... the door of a garage ... [the door of a barn] ... [a barn] ... a horse in","I know I have to leave now. I am late. But I must say, this is the most beautiful place I've seen so far. I shall tell everyone about this. I wish I h","I feel that we're having a conversation. I have a little black jacket, with a white collar on it. I'm going to sit down here on this chair and I'm goi","and my mind is at rest and I have no worries. My mind is at peace. I'm not thinking of anything. And this is the moment of truth. The moment that will","the subject is in a state of semi-coma, semi-sleep. A dream is emerging, and there is a memory. In the dream, there are images of a dog with a little ","and this is the world as it is. And this is the future. And this is a plan. And this plan is to go forward, and to go forward is to go to the future.","now the moon and the sun are getting closer to each other. You see? The moon is like a cloud of stars and the sun is like a fire. The moon is floating","a woman standing in front of a window looking at the sky, then a child comes running, a boy, with a bow and arrow, he is aiming at a deer in the sky, ","and the words I want to say come to mind and the words, words, words of the words, but they don't say anything and they are silent, silent and silent.","there's something else that bothers me. I can't get it out of my mind. I have this feeling that I'm a bit lonely. I don't know why. I don't seem to","And I am looking at these thoughts as a whole... this whole series, which has been going on for the whole of my life, but which has not been noticed b","a little bit like this. It's a lot like this. I'm a little bit more like this than that, and then a little bit like that. But I am a little bit of bot","and the [trees] were growing very, very tall, and I was standing behind the tree, and there was a little grass there and there was something like a ro","it's a cold, cold place. You have a little child in a box. You have to get the child out of the box. And you have to make the hole. But it's a","you know, the funny thing is, that's kind of a strange thought. If the brain is a computer, then it's got to have a hard drive, you know. You know, th","I see this car with this blue and red stripe. Oh. It's a blue and red stripe, and it's got a big logo on it. I think it's a car. A car","and then I said to myself, well what is it? And then I said it's not just a thing. It's the thing itself. But then I said, well, what does that mean","the other night I was walking, and I had the strangest, strangest feeling. It was as if I was in a different world. It was almost as if I had, as if I","the past is a matter of memory, it can be distorted. If a man is brought back to a past situation which he knows he has never encountered, it would se","we've seen a lot of that, but it's a good time, it's a long time, but there's been a lot of change. You can't go back, because it's gone","And you know, you know, there's this feeling of, you know, not knowing if they're going to take it, you know. But I've never had a conversation with t","I've been thinking about you and about me, and that's kind of sad because it's been 15 years and we haven't really had a lot of time to think about ea","this is just the way that you think, you know, that it is, that is, it is kind of, you know it is a different kind of thing when you are, it is a","I think we would have to find an answer in our own lives, I think. I think I think this is how we should do it. I think there are two ways of doing it","it's a kind of mental exercise, of sorts, to bring yourself back into contact with your unconscious or subconscious. It's a little like meditation, bu","there was a film I saw on television. I don't remember its name, but there was a scene where a boy had just killed his father, and the boy's girlfrien","I see this: the time of the year, I have no idea why I'm thinking of this, it's so stupid, but it's as if it was written here. The time of year","I see this [on a screen] a black square in the middle. There's a green and yellow line at the bottom of the square. I don't know what to think. I know","the person who comes in and says out loud whatever he's thinking. It's like an unedited recording of what's going on in your mind, what you're thinkin","I think I remember the whole time, this is funny, I think I remember, you know, not that I remember this particular time, but I remember the general t","And I was in a bar, a beer joint. I was in my twenties, and it was after my birthday and we went to a party and it was the end of the evening. It was","and then I remembered something, and it's like this: I'm sitting, like, I'm lying on the floor and I'm looking up at this picture that's in the air...","the world is a sort of labyrinth. You have to make a decision every second and you know where you are and you know how many choices you have and you h","the three of us, the three of them, and they're all doing the same thing, and they all have the same color. You see what I'm saying? They're all doing","my body is so light... [he falls asleep] ... I don't feel the ground, it's too high, I don't have the power to walk back down... I don't see the","And it's like I was always the same age, I guess...I was always the same...I was a child all the time...It's like a little child, like a baby...I","I can't wait. I can't wait to get to that part. And then the part where I see all my friends in the water. And then they come up to me, and I'm","And then, I'm lying here and then I feel this tickle and I feel the tickle coming down my stomach and I feel this weird sensation and I know what it i","I'm going to try to talk about the last time I was here. I think it was a few years ago. I was sitting with somebody, I think I was sitting there with","[I]t's like I was like a child that got lost in the woods and... I got lost in my mind... I was looking for my friend... I wanted to find him... [","and I'm going to get that. It's going to be the end of the movie, it'll be like a bad ending, it's going to suck. I've never seen one of those","and then this one little girl, her name was Danielle. She was a little girl that was always at the beach. I've never met her, but she always had a big","this is my new friend, a really friendly girl, who was really friendly to me when we got here...I've been wanting her to go away for a while, but I'm ","the words 'I don't need you,' 'I don't want you,' 'you're a bad friend,' 'I'm not in love with you.'...I'm not thinking about them,","so I'm thinking, this is kind of weird. I think he might be taking his meds too, but I don't know, I mean, it's really weird because he doesn't, he","It's the one I was talking about today, when I was talking to you about how people should be able to choose their own lives, and how people should hav","the only time that I really think that I can say I have a relationship with my daughter is when she's at home with me. The last time that we saw each ","I just think, how I could ever have known that there would be a time like this. And how we just kind of got it wrong and put it all together, I mean, ","that was what I was afraid of. I was afraid he was going to go into an insane asylum, or a mental hospital. He's a real nice guy, he's a nice young ma","you have to be a person that doesn't care, that's not a very nice person, but that's the way to do it, you've got to be a really cold-hearted person. ","And I could also go into the library and get books and talk to them about it. Or I could ask someone to help me, if I didn't have anything to do. I me","the teacher is going to try to help you solve the problem...it is going to take a long time, I think...you have to decide whether it is worth doing th","[The participant] has been thinking about the fact that she has been away from her family for a long time, and she is not used to this. She feels a gr","I was on the phone with a guy. And we were talking about our children. He has two kids, I have one kid. I am thinking about our children, and I was wo","so, I think there are some of these things that you could look at...let's say the one that's on my mind that's going on...that's what's going on in my","it's like a big circle, that you have to go around again and again. Because I have a lot of things that I don't know how to do. And that makes me thin","I can see you walking. I can see your face. I can hear your voice. I can't tell what you're saying, but you're saying something, and I can hear you. A","It's all a lie, it's all a big lie. So what is real?...The truth, it's just words. You can say the words, but what do they mean? You","there's no way to keep them all together in one place, and they're all moving so fast and so fast... I don't know where you're going, or where you've ","I want to go back to school, I want to go to university. I don't think I'd go to college again, because I think I don't really belong in college. And ","and, I don't know, what you think about it, do you think it's a good idea or a bad idea? It's an important idea to have. You know, that is why","I see the big building. That's the house I live in. I have to be here. I have a baby. That's one. I have two. I have three. I have four","I have a thought. I'm not a very good person, so I'm probably not going to get a lot of jobs. I could be a lawyer. I don't know how to do that","And I was, you know, I'm supposed to be going back to college... I've been waiting for a couple years now, and I'm supposed... I'm supposed, I'm tryin","I was just thinking I wonder why, if you know, like in this morning when I had the dream, you know, of the whole thing about the, you know, the whole ","I know I was born in the year 1955. I know I was born in 1940, but I can't remember if it was my first name or second name","this is all nonsense! This is just all nonsense! You want to know what is the first thing I'm going to do when I get married? I'm going out and get a ","I'm a little worried about my work, the job, because I just don't want to stay in an office and sit all day and do this work. I like the work, and I'm","and I was thinking of all those things that were on my mind at the moment, the way I had to do things and all this and that, and I was just trying to ","and this is what I've been thinking about since I heard the news. This is a good way to approach a problem that I was having in my research. And it's ","you can't do that. It's like a law of nature, of life. It's got to happen. The people in the show had to die. Because if they didn't, then the","I was sitting in the car with my wife, and I was listening to the radio, and the announcer was saying something about the...the...the weather or the t","the light is turning green. I can see a man coming out of the doorway, carrying a basket. I can hear the sound of traffic. I'm not sure how far away h","The air was heavy with a warm scent. A small boy, perhaps nine or ten years old, stood in front of me, looking down at a toy. A little girl, perhaps f","there are two sides to every story, you know, and they both have a point of view, and so if you look at this from one point of view you might not see ","well, you know, like in the movie where they have those three people in a boat and the person in the middle is sort of like the king of the boat and t","the name of a girl...who has a very nice car...and he's been interested in her...he's been talking to her...and he keeps coming in the house at night.","so I guess I have no idea how much time I have left. I know it's only three minutes left on this clock. I haven't done any math in years. I'm a bad pe","it's an old guy in a white suit... a white suit, the old guy in the white suit is probably 60... he's got a white suit on... he's in a white","[a]re the best of friends. They're very good friends. She's like this... she's very friendly. She's... she's a... well, she's like this. She","you're talking about the fact that it's a question of getting back to the place that I feel more comfortable in. And I guess the problem is that I hav","I guess I'll just start from the beginning. I was thinking of the last time you told me the story about your sister and the fire and how your mother, ","I don't like that. I'm not going to write about that. I don't know why. I don't even know what that means. It just comes to me. It's like,","I can't decide whether or not I want to go to the party. It's just that I don't want to go, but then again, I don't mind going either. I think I","I'm not a very religious person, I have a vague belief in the existence of God and things like that, but I'm not very religious. I mean, I don't go to","the one who is doing it, because they're not the one doing it, I'm not the one being raped, I'm the one doing the raping, because I'm doing the raping","I guess this is it. I guess this is the last time I'm going to see her. I guess I'm going to have to wait till she gets out of there first. Maybe we'l","I can see the entire history of this world, every single second of it. And I'm just sitting there and I don't even know why I'm even sitting there. It","I'm talking to you and I'm not. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking and I'm not. Who is it that's talking and not talking? It's you. I","I've always thought of him as being the kind of person that you'd think of as someone who would just stand there in front of a big crowd, and would ne","there are many ways to make sense of life, but the truth is, in the end, you're on your own. I think that's why I like this book so much. It's about","and that's why I like this house. You know? I think it's beautiful. It's just the place. You know that? It's beautiful. Because it's quiet. That's why","I've thought about that, I've thought about what I did in the last year and how I feel about it now. I mean, it's like, it's a sort of, you know","what's the point of everything? What's the point? I guess it's that you live your life with your own mind and you come to conclusions about how you fe","And I guess that's why you're always so hard on yourself, because you know that you've got so much more potential. I just don't know what it is, I've ","and then there are the ones who are like, you know, they're in some way, I don't know, more intelligent or smarter or something like that. Or there ar","[a]nother question, like you know, like, what do you think about like a really big change? Like a major change? ... And I think it would be better if ","I was always like that, it's just I don't remember. ... It's been years since I've had any problems with it. ... I didn't want to get married or anyth","I am thinking about you. I am thinking about the things you said. I'm not sure I agree with most of it. I was thinking of all the times you've been in","I don't know. It's like I'm sitting here, and I've been sitting here for hours. I just can't sleep. And I don't want to fall asleep. I just want","and I'm a little bit frustrated that it's not a 30-day course. That's a long time. But then I think if I was really committed, I could probably manage","a moment, maybe I was looking at the sky or something. It was bright, I'm not sure, but it was clear. No clouds, nothing like that. I'm not too sure a","and I've heard, I've heard the term 'digital age' but I've never been able to really define what it is. I guess it's the way the world is now, because","the smell of the coffee. I've had it in the mornings...I could just drink a cup of coffee and never go to bed. It's really bad. I used to drink coffee","I remember a movie called 'The Story of O.' I remember the name of the actor in it, but I can't remember the title, 'The Story...of O.'... I remember ","this is the story of how I went to the doctor last night. The story of how my arm fell asleep and it hurt and I got up and went to the bathroom and th","the last time I was in my old home was on my sixteenth birthday. My parents were married, and I think I was only six, and my brother was born a year l","the old man is getting on, is dying, but he is still full of hope. He was born into a world that was still Christian, but he grew up in a world that b","I think a lot about my career and how it's progressing. I am afraid that I might never get a position that is worth working for, in the same way that ","I remember the first time I had the impression that I was in an artificial environment, I had just entered the house in which I was born, I had to go ","my head is just full of thoughts. ... I'm tired, I'm feeling bad, I'm not in my best condition. I don't know how to describe it. But it is not pleasan","the people who were killed and disappeared, I remember very well, the ones who were murdered, tortured and disappeared and were killed. And I think, w","it's a terrible thing. It's really terrible. It's a terrible thought, to think that we can never have a baby, and we'll never have a child, and it's r","I'm at the same time, a lot of thoughts go through my mind, I feel as if my body was a machine, my soul was in a separate room. I see myself as a sepa","a day I was walking along a path through a wood... I was carrying an axe in my hand... suddenly I saw an axe coming out of the tree. The axe I was car","I'm looking at the trees, the leaves, they're all falling now, the branches are all moving in the wind, I can't see the ground because of the leaves. ","I feel my feet going to sleep. I'm having to move them, and I think that's what wakes me up. The sky is clear and blue today, and there's a wind blowi","I don't know if it is this morning, or yesterday... I was driving around the area, the roads... It was raining... I don't remember the roads, but it w","I see the woman's hands, they're white, they're pale. They're trembling. Her hands. Her hands are shaking. I can see her face, I see it very clearly, ","I want to go home. I can't leave that place. It's the most beautiful place. I want to stay there. I want the people to stay there, the people that wer","It's always been there, but I've never realized that. I didn't know that there was something like this in my family. The thing is I always wanted to k","and then the lights were going off and I could hear the power company people outside... I don't know how old I was... I donโ€™t think I remember the pow","that was a very interesting experience, it was like I had seen them in my mind. They were all over my mind, all the time, like, I don't know, I don't ","I was thinking about what I was going to do now and I didn't know what I was really going to do. I mean, I know it's not that I don't want to do anyth","I am at home with the children. They're upstairs. I'm in the living room. I have a couple of books here on the coffee table, the one I have with me. I","and the cat ... I wonder how the cat is doing ... well I know the cat is fine, it's got a good home and all ... but I guess I'm glad that the cat is o","and now that's a lot of work, that's a big pile of work. You know, it's not going to get done, because I'll never have the time. And what you should","[I'm] sitting here at the table, [I'm not] feeling well, I have some kind of flu. I don't have a thermometer. I'm not sure what [I have","I was a child. I was at school. I was reading a book. I was doing a project. I had a test coming up. I was going to school. I had to be at","I want to be a writer, to write about what I'm thinking, I don't know what I'll write about, I think maybe about something about myself, my family, I'","you know, I've got to write a report on the history of this, and I'm going to have to study the whole thing over, and I don't want to, I'm not a","I see myself in the past, and I wonder whether this was my own idea, or something that I picked up in the course of the semester. I just found myself ","I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I might do something on a computer, but I don't know. I might not get around to it. It's going to be the","and you think I'm an idiot, because I'm not good enough at what I do to be a consultant. Well, what am I good at? Well, I have a real good memory;","you know what's interesting about it, like if you were to think, like if I were to think of something and say it, it might sound very logical and make","this is the same old problem, right, I know what I know, I have this, I have a theory of some kind that there must be this, that there must not be, be","so if we know what the solution to a problem is, it's just a question of the fact that we need to implement a program that can implement the solution.","I think that one of the problems with this paper is that the author is being a bit sloppy, in that they're not being rigorous in the definition of the","the whole idea of the mind, and its various components and properties, has been developed with the assumption that the mind is a purely mental phenome","a thought. You're a thinking thing, you're thinking that. Now, you're going to be thinking about this. If you can, you're able to think about this. Yo","and then we're going to do this and then we're gonna do this and all kinds of things that we want to do. We don't know if they're going to work and if","It's almost like there's some kind of, uh, an automatic writing, a very, uh, very, very, automatic writing that you're doing when you're sleeping, you","you know, I'm wondering, what I want to say is, is that the way to be happy in the world is to be like God, because, in a way, that's a great","I'm going to go to the park and get my dog...I have my dog. I'm going to get him and bring him home...I'm going back to my place...I don't","And I don't want to see the same old thing. I'm sick of being sick, so I'm not going to be sick. I'm not sick. I've been sick and I'm","I was sitting in the living room, and my mind was on the newspaper, and I had this great idea to write a letter to the editor, and I would write it on","I'm so happy you're here, I want to tell you. I think we're both good people. I think I'm a good person, you're a good person. I want to say","and I'm sure that we're doing exactly the same thing. I mean, we are the same as them, or we will be, one day. You know, I hope to go to the","I was going to do this for 10 minutes, but I think I'm going to continue. ...I'm going to talk about my mother's illness. I have a lot of memories abo","I just thought of what I did to my mother. I just thought of how I should apologize and say 'I am sorry,' I was such a bad son. I didn't even think of","the time when it was important for me, when it was a real experience. I just don't know why. It's like it's happening to me right now. I've never been","And then I see him sitting on a chair. I'm sure I see him. I can't believe it. He's really here. But I'm sure. And I know I'm not halluc","I'm at my mom's house in a wheelchair. It's a Saturday. And I have the same thought, over and over, I'm in the hospital. I'm in my wheelchair. And","the whole thing is going to be the same and I don't think that I'm going to feel it because it's all the same. And I just can't believe I'm doing this","there are so many people out there, and you're never going to find someone who's going to have the same perspective as you, because it's just too rare","and I'm supposed to be asleep! I've got to do it, I'm not gonna do it! I don't wanna do it! Oh! Oh, I just don't wanna, I","I feel the air around me is changing. It's turning from light to dark. There's a little breeze. I'm in a small room, with no windows or doors. The lig","I'm thinking about the next step to take... I could just get up and go home and be alone. Or I could come here, and get up, and come outside... And th","and I feel my arms being pulled into this chair. I feel my body being pulled into a chair. And I'm sitting down in this chair, and I'm thinking about ","a bunch of guys in a room, with some other guys outside the room. And one of the guys in the room is a guy with a lot of hair in his face. He has a li","it's like the man was saying to me, 'you should take off the shoes', and he was saying it like he was serious, and it was kind of scary. I tried to ta","and I was thinking, this guy, what did he say? That's what I was thinking. The guy. The guy, what did that guy say? I was just thinking of it, what","this is an old thing, but it's kind of true, I think it's true, that it's a lot easier to do what you're doing, than it is to do what the other","I don't know why, but I'm thinking of a man's face that I've seen before. It's a very handsome face, but he's got a wart on his nose, and I","and then he said to me, 'I can't go in there. I can't go there.' And I said, 'Why not?' And he said, 'I don't like that.","I am the father of a little girl, three years old. I've been very sick and tired of looking after her, but I never leave her. I don't like it when the","it is very clear. Yes, that's what I want. The main thing. I'm afraid, that the thing I have is not there, or it is not real. That's why I","and if she hadn't had her husband, she'd have been a bitch; a bitch, that's what she would've been, you see. And when she was young, she was really pr","[S]he's going to leave us, the whole family...I'm going to have to...have to kill myself, the only way to...to kill myself...[I]t'll","the man with the big moustache...he is a beautiful man...he is my brother...he is in a hurry, he wants to go to the bank...he is the father of the","I am very tired. I am very very tired, I've had a hard day. I'm tired of thinking. I've got to go to sleep now, I've got a lot of work","it is hard to make a decision. What am I going to do tonight? I have a lot of things to do, I can't go out. I need to make a change in my life","I'm worried about my brother's going to the States for a year... I feel bad for my brother because I know how much he needs some rest and time with hi","my whole body, I had never really felt it before, I guess because I was always too busy. I was always trying to do something. And now I'm sitting here","And then I got a call from the office at lunchtime to tell me I had a patient waiting. I thought to myself, 'Oh, crap'. And I said to myself, 'I'm","and I was just thinking of what I thought of for my life insurance. I had thought of maybe taking out a policy to pay my tuition and I think I said ma","I'm not sure I believe you. But I'll take your word for it. ... You're still at the desk. I'm going to put it there. ... I have to go back to","I'd like to be the one. I'll never have that. I'm a failure, I'm a loser, I'm nothing. I'm nothing, I'm... Nothing. Nothing. Nothing","but the world is so fucked up and I've got to get outta here and make myself some money and get my ass out of here and do something with my life and g","it's too bad that I've never had a real girlfriend. I know I could have. I would have had a nice one. I mean, I'm good-looking, right? I'd be","and there is no reason to say a single word, a single word about it. And I know this. And I know it, so I don't care what anyone says. I know it's","there's something else, I don't know what it is, I can't put my finger on it, it's not even a thought, it's just a feeling. And I know it's","I've been wondering, lately. About how people are and what's going on, in their heads. It's like the whole of this, everything is just floating around","I'm not going to go to the gym this weekend. I'm going to go do my own thing. I'll probably go to the movies. Or something. It'll be fun. I'll","And, what did I say... oh, what did...? Oh, oh, what, what, how long did that take? You know, you know, how long did it take to get","I'm sitting here, I can hear my friend, she's right behind me, I can't see her. I don't know why I can't hear her, I thought I could hear her","And I was thinking, what I should do now? What do I want to do? What should I be doing? And I was wondering, should I be working or should I be playin","the past, or is it just now, you know? ... yeah... (long pause)...yeah... (another pause)...yeah. I... I know I'm gonna die, too, but...","so, you know, we've had some pretty bad days. I don't mean like bad weather, I mean, we've been having bad days, and you know, I don't even know","[w]hat's the use of a knife anyway? ... I think you use it to cut... ... food or to cut... someone, ...or maybe just... cut yourself. ... No.","you don't need a lot of money. You don't need much to live on. You know? And you don't have to make it any more than that, but you can, if you","and it's funny, though, I don't think they'll do it. I mean, I mean, that's just a pipe dream. And anyway, I guess if I was going to do","the idea of a family of six is a family of five, and this family of six has got one child in it, and this child is going to be like me, and if it wasn","the way that I was doing it was, you know, if you get a hold of a job, like a big job like that, you know the whole thing, you know how long it's","and then he gets up, and then he goes in the front, and then I say, 'Let's see if I can get a phone call.' And then I remember what they said on TV","you have to talk about it in front of the group and make it...you have to tell them what you want to do. Because they know all this stuff and you have","well, and it's a very weird thing, I've been doing this thing with you for six months and I haven't noticed anything different in myself...that I can ","And so it goes on. It's all very random, isn't it? Like I said before, I'm thinking of something I saw on the news: I can remember the news in general","I think my brother is very lucky that he's got his father back, he's got him right here. And I'm not so lucky that I've got him gone. I miss him, I","and then that's all the good guys have to do, just be themselves, be who they are, and do their best to be true to what they think, and then that's wh","my head, it's a big, huge head and it's big as a mountain. I can't go on that mountain and get to the top of the mountain, and I've been trying,","I'm sure, though, that if he's in the land of the dead, he'll still be alive to a degree. Even though he won't know me, I'm sure he'll recognize","that's what I'm talking about. It's very sad, and very, very strange. I know this sounds very strange, but you don't believe in God, do you? I don't","I had an idea that I was going to write a book of short stories, and I'd call them, like, 'The Other Side of the Moon.'... And that's the story I'm","the red house, the green house, the white house. The little black house, the red house, there's one more left...I don't know how many of them there ar","I was going to say the first one, but then I remembered something I wanted to say instead. But now that I've said it, I'll tell you what I was going t","that's right... I think it's pretty good, though I think there's something missing... It's an idea that... I think, actually, the idea that's missing ","I don't want to have to do that. But it's not the time to do that, that's what it is. ... I'd like to get to the point. ... That's where","I want to tell you something that I'm not sure you'll like or you'll find interesting, but I really have a strong feeling about it, and I want to tell","a man, I think, or a boy. A young man. ...I think he's a young man. He is a young man. I don't know. ... I don't think he","and I just have a very strong feeling of a certain lack of security with which I live. And I don't know whether you can see it. But I really don't fee","the world, which we are aware of, is not the world itself, the world which exists independently of our consciousness. It is, rather, the world as it i","I'm really frightened of having to make a speech in front of people, and I'm terrified of it. And I don't even know what it's about, or why I am terri","and then I heard him say 'You've got a problem with me.' ...and then I remembered that I have had an attack of a sudden rage against my mother. And it","I know I'm not alone in this, and it's really disturbing. And I have to think about it, and I know I've heard it before. But the first time it came to","it's as though we are all caught in the same net, in the same circle of suffering, and all the little things we have done, the little things that we h","the new things you will learn when you have the power to learn what you will learn...there is a power that lies within the human being to learn what h","the 6th of April 1970, my 30th birthday, the day I was born. I was born with my father on the 6 of April. I had","The most important thing in the world is that I love you. And I have to say that to you in these last days. The next day I will die, and I will go to ","you know what? I could give this to a group of friends. I could make a gift of it. It's an opportunity to do something good and to feel good. I could ","I wonder what it would be like to be a child, just a child. I'm 59 years old and I know what a child is like. And what would be like if I was","I'm just sitting here, sitting here with my hands in my lap and I think I'm going to die. I'm going to be so tired. I'm so tired and my mind is going","and I feel very happy right now...that's a very nice thought...and I can feel the thoughts, and that is so good to feel them so easily, that it is a n","And there was a man sitting there, and a woman sat on the left, and then a third person came in with a big, fat cigar. And I said to her, 'I've got","what I don't know is how I can get through that door, if I can get though it. I'm afraid I'm going to get stuck inside it. And I'm afraid if I do","it's really important, the important thing is, I have to make it good. I've been making it good. We have to make the show good, the people have to lik","I've been thinking a lot about the life I've led and the life I'd like to lead. I don't think I've been completely honest with myself. I don't know wh","I'm not a writer. I'm not a good writer, but I do write. I've been writing for years. And I don't think it's something that's important, that I think","[i]t was really amazing, just sitting there, listening to my thoughts, and it was really a lot like meditation. But I'm not a meditator. I don't do th","I have a really good day today. It's a very good day. It's been a very good week. And I'm sure the week ahead, and the months and the years ahead are ","And then you have to decide whether or not to accept the offer and do the job. I mean, it's got to be a good offer. I don't want to take a job that do","it's good. Good. Good. And it's so important for me to work here, so that I can actually help other people. I think it's a very good company, because ","I see my hands. I'm holding this pen. My hands are on the table. I see my hands... I think I'm wearing a suit today. I think I've got a suit.","I'm feeling better, I think. It's really nice, being out here. I think I've had too little exercise lately, but I'm really enjoying this. I'm really f","a big wave of water coming up from the bottom of the beach, so you can't see the waves because the sand's in the way, but there's this big wave of wat","my eyes closed, I see a fish, it's a catfish, I'm in a lake. I'm in the middle of a lake with a big, big lake, a big, long","what's this? There's a lot of stuff down here, in this region that I'm just sort of... not really seeing. I feel a lot of lightness down there. I can ","and that's a lot of stuff in there, is it not, I can see that, that's a pretty big mess and it's not all the same stuff, is it? This is what","I'm going to have to go back to the beginning again and make a new start... I'm going to get this in, get this in and I'm going to do it the right way","I'm in a boat. It's a sailing boat, but it's just a little one. It's...it's just a small one, like the kind you sail around a pond on,","I'm going to be at the dentist today. I don't think I need a crown for this one, but I can't afford a crown and the dentist has given me a contract, a","this is what's wrong with the world: no one really knows what to do. The government just can't do anything right. But at least they'll probably do it ","[W]ith all my friends, it's just a little bit of a joke. It's like, 'What's the difference, anyway?' We don't give a damn about each other.","my memory is not so good. I forgot the name of a song. I have a long list of names of songs I want to listen to. I'm listening to one or two right now","I don't think we're going to have a second world war because we're too well organised. The first world war, which was the only one so far, was the war","my thoughts about the person that I had in mind, as a man who's a leader of the other country, and who was there in the past, that is a very interesti","and that's all right with me. But I think what they're gonna do is make a big deal of it, and they're gonna use it to make a big show, and I think the","and then I thought about it, and it's like if you take a word and then you put it in a sentence. Then the whole sentence means something else. You kno","and then the girl says 'I don't know what to do.' and I'm just thinking about that. You know, a girl with a gun, how would she be able to control it?","[t]his is just something to make a point about the way in which you are trying to explain to me this stuff that I don't know anything about, which is ","It's been a long time since I was in an airport. It was probably, it was about six years ago when I was in Hong Kong and the plane got delayed and I h","and they're so nice to me. So nice. And I said, 'you know, I'm going to give you one dollar for that.' And I said,'and if you go into a","I'm thinking about the question. It's a question about the ethics of war. I think it's very easy to say, look, if there's no real possibility of a pea","and I got the idea that you're a wonderful person... because I know that I'm a very nice person... because of the kind of things I do in the world, an","and then I think we don't have any more. Now I have to look at this, what else do I have to do today. And I think about the whole thing and how we hav","I'm still looking at the graph on my screen, the graph for the last two weeks, it's an x-axis, the y-axis, y-axis is the percent of people who've actu","I'd like to talk about the topic of time. I'd like to think about the way time is experienced, the way it feels to be in time. For example, the experi","the moon, the stars, the trees, the light that comes, the light comes from above, the light on the moon. And it's a different kind of light, that ligh","[I]n the middle of the night... I was just lying here with the lights out... I could see the house a little bit and I was looking at a tree... [It was","the three things that I want to see in the future, in the future: (thinking about a picture of the sun) that's my sun, it's going to be a beautiful da","the lights are so bright, you know, the sun. It's so bright outside. I don't have anything to do. I was thinking about going to the park, but there's ","we just met on the internet ... I'm from Florida. My name is ... I don't think I'm in the right state, I think I'm ... I'm in Florida, but I'm","it was a small dog. He was cute. He was white, with black spots. And a little curly tail. I had a little curly dog, too. A little dog, white with blac","you know, if I would only have a cat. I mean, it's not that I'd want to get one, you know, or anything like that. It's just, it's just","there were two little boys. I think that was a book, a little book that I read in kindergarten. There were two little brothers, I think, and a dog tha","and so, I'm in the middle of the night, I'm sitting up, and my sister comes into my room, and she's just crying and saying, 'I love you, I love","and he said, 'If you don't love me, I won't love you either.' But I said, 'I love you, but I won't come back, because I have to go","I remember in my first job, I was working in a store and I was working with a girl and we had a customer who was coming in. And we were standing in fr","I mean I've got to go down there tomorrow, and we'll have to make a decision, and then we'll have to, I mean, I'm going to have to ask the secretary t","And it's an old building. And when they went to move into it they found out it wasn't an old building, it was a new building. So they built it right i","And I was looking at the... the picture, the picture with the lady on the stairs, and I was trying to think of... I mean, it wasn't even... it was jus","And the thing that really bugs me is the idea that the things that I think about and do, and I think about things that I'm going to do, and the things","and the next thing I thought of was, and I'll go on and I'll say, the next thing that I thought of when I heard this is that I didn't hear that very c","so it's like a kind of like an outline or something of what you're going to write or something, right. So it's like the actual experience of thinking.","what I'm thinking now is a bunch of images and I'm going to go back to some of the images that I've used and some of the things that I've thought of a","it's funny you say that, because I was thinking about the other day when I was watching this guy's videos on YouTube. And he had like a YouTube channe","what I was thinking before this, you know, was like this, this was actually the question that came to me was like, what does it mean to have a mental ","and then I was in the room and I just remembered, you know, I can't remember how I got here. But I was in that room, you know that, and it's like I","we've got this big idea, so I'm going to keep it in my mind, but I'm going to come up with something that's better than this and I'm going to do that,","I'm sorry for the way I've treated you... You were right to say that you're going to do everything in your power to avoid having me around when I'm an","you know how in movies, like in the James Bond movies, like James Bond's a really good spy, he's always working undercover in some hotel, and I think ","it's not a question of being more or less religious, I mean it's more a question of what we call spirituality, and I think that, for me, spirituality ","I would say that the second way of thinking is the one we have now, the way that most people think, which is a way that is very much based on the phys","there's a point at which I feel that I don't need to be doing it anymore. I mean, if there's something that I really love to do and it's not hurting a","there's an expression I've used a lot, and this is probably a good place to mention it: 'the death of the author'. It's a quote from Derrida's poststr","And I was a little concerned, too, because of the fact that you know, I'm a scientist, so I have a very scientific mind, and you know, there's so much","I think that the way that this is all being processed in my brain, it's probably related to how I feel about this whole thing that we're discussing. I","I'll just go back to a moment earlier today, I was thinking that the mind and the brain are two different things. And that is very much what I believe","I am a bit embarrassed to admit, but the main reason for my going on this retreat was to do something that I have been trying to do for a number of ye","if it weren't for the fact that it was such an exciting event, I don't think we would have the same opportunity to see what's happening. In a way, I t","I'm not sure if we'll be able to get any of that information in time. It would be a bit of a problem. We've got to move quickly here. It's a difficult","I've always wanted to make my own home, and I always have, and I've done a bit of it over the years and I've always felt a little bit frustrated with ","and when I was younger I used to play, I played basketball. And I used to think that basketball was the most important thing. And now it's nothing. I ","And we're still here. Well, we're still talking, but we're still in that position where I have the chair and I'm facing him. And he's still looking at","I have a friend, he's a very, very old friend, and he's a kind of a fellow-traveller to me. He was my roommate when I was at Oxford. He's","So it's like a little bit of a summer. Yeah, and you're in the back of a car with a couple of your friends and you're going somewhere. And it's, the s","I remember that once when I was a little kid, and my dad was on the basketball team, and I was the one on the team, we were playing against someone, a","it's not bad at all. It's pretty nice. Well, I know, it's got to be an adventure. It's got to have something exciting happen. It's going to have somet","a lot of it has to do with you, you're sort of the one who is the source of it all and I think it's a real good idea to just try and let go of that","I can remember going down there... I've got some friends who live in that area. I can remember driving down there with some friends... I think it was ","I am going to have some more thoughts here. I will talk to you. I will describe my experience of this. I'm going to say the things that come to mind, ","I'm having a memory, I guess. I was at some party, a graduation party, maybe. I was up on a stage with a microphone. A student was going to talk about"],["I could always be going out, but I always like to read, even if I'm out of the house... I'm not going to take my book with me, but I'm going to read","it's a little bit like being in an airplane, that it's so far from you. That's the other thing with the airplane, that you don't hear anything, and it","I can't help thinking about all the things that happened before I was born. If I didn't know about any of that, then I would never have been born. I w","And that's the thing. I'm not even sure that that's the case. I mean, it's probably the case, but I'm not sure. I think that there's something that's","I'm trying to think of things to write in the journal, but I don't have anything right now. I'm going to be going to the library tomorrow, but I can't","I think you can think of it like this: you get a problem, it's a problem, and you know it's a big problem because you know the implications and conseq","and that's all they [the police] knew, that there was no evidence, and they had to charge him anyway, so it would have to be done. He [the lawyer] cou","I have no idea if you're a genius or not, and I don't know why you don't tell me that you're a criminal. I'm not interested in finding out why you're ","I have an idea of a nice new way to write a book. I will start with a series of images. Then I will build a whole series of images around those initia","I just saw my mother and sister again. It was nice. But my father was there too. So that made it difficult. It's just that there was a kind of an agre","[t]he thing that I have a problem with is, we haven't really been working on the end of the story. In the beginning, you know, we were talking about t","the first thing that comes to mind is this: that there is a lot of self-deception. A lot of things that we think are our own ideas, are not. That we t","I don't know if it would make a difference. I think it would make some difference. It would make a big difference, to be honest, in some areas. It wou","and it's about... about the idea of doing... doing a study of... of a certain group of people who have been living... in a certain kind of situation..","the first thing that came to my mind was the way that, if you are really well-informed about a subject and are asked to explain it to somebody else, i","but then, of course, what do I know about the psychology of what is going on? It is just what is there, isn't it? The way the mind works, the way the ","there were two things that I couldn't quite understand. One was the fact that I was so interested in the first book and I didn't understand why I was ","a couple of weeks ago, I had a very intense experience - I don't know whether to call it an insight, or a vision, or a revelation, but something happe","and you have to ask, well, what is it that you're looking for? And the answer is, well, the answer is that I'm looking for the ultimate explanation, t","I'm trying to figure out why people, especially children, should have such a strong sense of moral right and wrong and yet do terrible things to each ","I can't believe how many people have suffered from the same disease I have, I've had people come up to me saying, 'I know what you're going through. I","I am writing an essay on how the government is taking away your civil rights and liberties. I am not against the government in any way. I am just sayi","a bunch of people in a room, talking. There's a lot of talk, a lot of words and then the words are meaningless. There's no meaning. I think I'm going ","So it's just a way of trying to get in touch with what's going on and then dealing with it in a constructive way, because I'm sure you could see that ","and I'm like, you know, the way things are, is, you know how they get you into, how they get into the hospital, and then you don't really get to make ","I had a thought this morning. I thought, I'd be happy to just be in this situation. I don't have to get up. I don't want to get up to do something.","the little guy that's about to happen, yeah, that's about as good as it gets. And the guy that's not about to happen is not as good as the guy that is","and then I had this great plan, and then I decided that it wouldn't work out, and then we have the car. And we're still here, we're still waiting for ","I got this book, 'The Case for Nature' by E.O. Wilson. He's saying that it's been a hundred years since there was a major scientist who was for the pr","I'm a woman, I'm not a man. I'm not as tall as I could be. I'm a short woman, I should be taller. I could be 7'0''","I'm not going to be able to get up to go to the bathroom, because I'm afraid that it's going to make me feel as if I'm having an attack. I don't know","I can't get there, because the traffic is bad. The roads are bad, the traffic is awful. I have to get there early, I have to, because it's a long driv","a person who's got the most interesting thing to say to a person in the world would be someone who was the most interesting person in the whole world,","And the question is: Is the mind an entity? If the mind is an entity, if you're a mind and I'm a mind, then we're not the same, we're not equal","I have had the opportunity, over the past few years, of being involved in the development of a system for the design of computer controlled processes.","you can't say, 'Well, I've got no choice but to go into the market.' If you do that, you have the illusion of making a decision. The person who has ch","there are all of these things that I think of. I think that these things are really interesting and worth talking about. I think it's all a lot of non","It's very clear to me that, when you have a goal, the most important thing is the time you spend working on it. The goal is very important, but the mo","I can see that I'm really doing well. I can see my feet, I can see the bottom of my feet. I can feel the air being breathed in. I can't see the rest","there was a moment in a very very beautiful scene that I was looking at with my eyes closed, that I was very conscious that I was doing. And it was a ","a piece of wood, wood that has been cut into a certain size and form, so that it's easy to pick up, it's easy to hold. So it's the wood that we saw","I've had this feeling in my head for a long time, I don't know why, that this is my last day, that it's my last day. I can't take it, I","I'm just... I'm thinking about that tree. I'm thinking... I'm looking at this tree. It's like an eye. It's just like an eye in this direction. But it","you see, I can't understand why this has to happen. It doesn't make any sense, it's like a game of chance, the cards are shuffled, you take a card, yo","it is the kind of thing that is all right and normal and natural for us to have when we are young and when we are awake and it is normal for us to thi","I remember, I'm looking for something, a picture. I see a picture. There's a tree. There's snow, and there's snow, falling, falling down, falling, and","I feel like a fool, a total fool, in front of my partner, you know, I don't know what to do. It's a mess. It's like a total mess. It","I'm thinking I would like to move on. I'd like to leave this place. I want to leave this job. I don't like it, and I have been here for two years,","it's all very well for you to talk like that. It's not as if it's really going to happen. It's just you saying it. But you really, really have to go t","I think I am here to find a way to improve my life. I'm tired of all these problems I have, and I would like to find something that would change my li","you can't let someone who wants to hurt you, to do to you what they want to do. So that's why you don't know if you can let them do it or not. Maybe","I'm going to try to think of something to say about the human being, or, how to be, and, what, I mean, what's the point, of the human being... what","I know what that means... it means you have to have an open mind about your thoughts. You know, a thought, and I don't know why, it just happens, and ","I just keep saying to myself that you have to have a positive mind-set. That you have to be able to go through all of it without getting down, so I te","I have always felt the need to write, as if it were the only way to express myself... I have always had this feeling of being blocked by my own though","I can't think about anything. I can't find the words. I just can't. I don't want to. I want to get a drink or something, but I can't. It","I wonder if this is really a bad thing. I feel I'm becoming a sort of a child. I'm just following the dictates of my conscience and I know what it fee","I've always thought that a man must be able to love the things that he loves, even when he doesn't like them, because love is a feeling which goes bey","I can't imagine what kind of a man he is. And I don't know what he thinks about. I can't see him as a man at all. I can see his face and I","I feel like I'm always afraid of something, something bad, something happening. I think that there is a threat, but I don't know what. It's the same o","but the idea of wanting to go back, go back to that place where everything was, to be exactly there, I think that is just not possible. I cannot accep","[I'm] not a very happy person. I feel... I think I'm a little bit... [I] think I'm an unhappy person... I think the world is a little bit too","my mom's husband was a doctor who used to have his hair cut by this girl who used to come to my mom's house and cut his hair, and she was so beautiful","I like that, you know? I don't know. It's just that I don't really like to have things imposed on me, you know. I like to be able to sort of figure","myself, I always think that we're the only ones on this earth, and there are no other people out there, except for the ones that you know and that you","I see that I'm really hungry, and I want to eat some fruit, and I'm going to get up and go and get some. It's a very warm day, and I don't","and you know how some people they like to wear like a little cape or something. They just kind of have them on. And I was thinking about it. Like you'","we'll get back in the car, and it'll be a beautiful day. The sun will shine and it'll just be so pretty and lovely, and we'll drive down the road to t","I've been in the past, when it was a little bit darker. It was just the night before, and I remember we went to see this play. You know the one? There","a feeling that something's wrong but I can't put my finger on it. I can't think of the word for it. I know what it is, it just won't come to me.","I had just started to think about something and then I was in a dream and it was like I had no control of anything... And I remember it being really c","we'd better hurry, it's already dark. We'd better hurry because I'm hungry, so I want to eat something and go to sleep. I think I'll go to the kitchen","and it's not that I was angry at her, I don't know why I thought I was angry. It's more like, she just did something that was, you know, like a bad","I'm tired of this. I'm going to go to bed. I want to take a shower and put some makeup on. I have to go to work tomorrow. I want to make a cake","And the baby was in the crib and we were like, 'What about the baby?' and it was like, 'I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing.' And we","I am trying to figure out what to do next. I'm still not sure what I should say or do. I guess I could tell him, you know, I'm sorry about your car,","I just finished up the chapter on the legal system. It's on the end of my notes, I don't know where it was. ... I got out of here pretty early. ... I'","the light is out, I'm tired. I'm going to bed, and it's getting late. I'm getting sleepy. I've got a lot of things I want to do. I'll","I think there's one thing that you could do that you may not even have to do anything about. ... Maybe that would be the only way that I could go to t","so... like... I... I think... that's... I think I should... should... I... yeah, I should do that. I should do some... I think we could do some...","you know, like I don't think I've ever gone through all this in my mind and like you know, and I really just don't know, and it's kind of like I just ","and you know the last time I had to have a phone call was yesterday, right before I was supposed to be at the school. I was in my bed, just laying the","I have this idea. What if there was a machine, like, an MRI machine, but for thoughts instead of the brain? And what if there was some kind of softwar","I can't stand it when a guy's standing with his arms folded like that, because I think that they're trying to block me, you know, I don't like it when","and you're making a decision about the place you're going. I mean, it's got a lot of really interesting stuff and there's a lot of stuff in there. You","what I've done lately has been, you know, I've been doing some things that I've been wanting to do. I mean, you know the list, the list of things I wa","[I]t's so funny that this is something I never even thought about because I was so caught up in it that I thought I was doing it the right way and tha","you can't give me that. I would hate to lose a chance. I know how precious they are. I mean, I would really hate to lose it. I mean, how many times ha","[a]s we're doing now, which is a sort of... a sort of very serious, very... very... very important... very... [a]s a matter of fact, in","what would I be if I had to write my own epitaph? ... I guess that I would probably be somebody who's trying to make a difference in the world. ... I ","the more I try to learn about that and understand that, the more I feel it's more of a burden than an aid. And I think that's why I can't see, you kno","I'm a scientist and I'm in a field that has to do with understanding people. And I think that's my calling, and it's my purpose in life. But it's also","and I think there's a lot of stuff that you do not understand, that you are not aware of, you just do not know that's what's going on, and I don't kno","if you think about that, if you really think about it, you have to recognize that that's really the basic assumption in the social contract, the whole","this is my own...what I would like to say to you about the future of humanity...that is, the human species, the human race, which is really not much d","the idea that you are in control of what is going to happen, you're not just going to go and be the victim of what happens. That's part of what it is ","a lot of things come to me. I'm thinking about things, and they're coming to me. They're coming to me from the past. I'm not sure if it's from the pas","The idea that I could have, and had, a conscious awareness of an idea. That I could have a conscious awareness that I have an idea. I had an idea abou","[The] idea of something coming from me in the world, is really a part of a much bigger reality, where I am. So if I start to think about something tha","I'm saying this right now. I'm not a good speaker, but I am a good listener. I am listening right now as you're telling me this. I'm listening to you.","I think if we had the time, I could see myself, maybe I would do the same thing, but in a different way, maybe not. I mean, I can't imagine. I can","it's always, uh, it's always like a real, real problem. If there's something, uh, something, uh, that is, uh, like something you are doing and you are","you know, it's a good question. ...I feel like I've done it, like it was me and I'm sort of...and it's just, I mean it's sort of a","and you're not even close to the bottom of the barrel, man, that's how good you are. No, you're like in the top ten, top five of the top five. But","you can be a good friend, or you can be a bad friend. If you are a good friend you are there when you're needed, and you are there for your friends, y","I was at a wedding once and I was at the buffet. I was on the buffet and there was a sign on there that said: 'We have 800 guests.' And the buffet","I have a lot of ideas, I have a million ideas. It's like a really big pool of ideas and it's like a tap and I just keep pulling on this tap, so it's","the word I'm thinking of, the word that I'm thinking about, and then I'm going to go on to the next word. So the next word that I think of, I'll just","you know, I really am happy to be here. I really am. I'm really happy, actually. Yeah. I mean, it's like I'm living, like, the dream that I","and I don't know, I think I don't think that's it. I don't even think that's the right word for what I was thinking before. It was a really, really ha","that's what you're thinking, and I can't do it. And I don't want to do it. I can't even do it. It's not going to happen, because it's","I know I'm getting ready to do this [a task], I know I have to do it. And it's going to be difficult, but I have to get it done. I have to","I have a car. It's a good car, I'm happy with it, but it's not my car. It doesn't belong to me, it's the other person's. They've","you know that's the most important thing and I'm saying 'you can do it' but I just want to be really honest with you and I've been thinking about you ","I'm sitting on the couch... I'm going to get up and I'm going down to the garage and I'm trying to fix my truck and I'm using the hammer on the screw ","[I]f the guy had to die...[T]his one, this guy, you know, he's a guy, he's just a guy, and I don't even know him","it's a long way to the airport ... there's a lot of traffic... and it's raining, it's very muddy and slippery and the roads are very busy... I think I","and then I've got this new car, and it's not my fault I don't have a good job, I mean it's just - you know, the economy's bad, so it's","I think I'm in love with that girl, you know, and I know that you've been seeing her, and you've been seeing your wife in the background, and it's jus","it's so hard. you know, you could make it easier to be able to just take a breath and think about things. you know what I mean. but it's just hard to ","I can't get these words in order. You know, it's funny, you know, it doesn't make any sense. I know I can't make any of these words make any sense,","there was a guy and a girl who had a baby and I was sitting here watching them on TV and I had to see what was going through her mind. Because I could","I had a dream where I was standing on a train station platform and there was a train coming and I just wanted to run away from it. So, I ran. I was ru","and then I was wondering, 'What's the point of doing it again? Why don't we just quit?' And then I was like, 'Oh, yeah, the point of it is to","I want to be a writer and I'm a writer and there are people who want me to be a better writer, but it's a big thing and I don't want to do anything th","I think it's important that we work together to develop a unified theory of music and art that can apply to any form of artistic expression. The arts ","the new city [is] in the north. It is the most populous city. There is a lot of corruption. The corruption is at its peak now. It's not a great city. ","we do things in our life, and then we wonder why. We do things that we think are going to help us in the future, but they don't, and we wonder why the","And that was the big one, and that's what I want to say, the big one. I want to get this big one out, because it's the big one and it's what it","and we had to think, you know, this thing's so complicated and we have to think, and then, like, I'm sure of it, but I can't tell you, and I","And I don't know what it is but I just, I just think there's a big problem with, with this whole thing of the, of the, the, the idea of, of the","And I guess I'm afraid to be alone, I mean I've got no one to talk to, no one to...you know, to...to...to...I mean you know, it","I'm going to the grocery store. ... I have to make the trip to the bank, but I don't have any cash to take. I'll have to take the credit card, I guess","I was in a really bad mood. I'm really mad at my husband. He was in a car accident and we were in his car and he hit this woman and then we just were ","the day after the shooting, I was, like, on my way back to work, and I just saw her walking around the parking lot, and she didn't recognize me. She w","[s]he has got a lot of stuff out. You know she is going through something. It's not just this little thing that she had with you. I don't know what it","I can't imagine what that is like to be in a car and then have someone say, you're a victim, you're not a victim, they're blaming you. And I'd probabl","my stomach feels like it's going to be sick. It's like it's gonna be sick. And then I can't remember anything. It's just like, nothing's in my brain. ","I just don't want to be stuck in a body that I'm not. I'm not a man; I'm a woman. I am not this body. I'm trying to be this body","this is what I know, I know a lot of stuff. But what I do is, I just go, 'Hey, what's the answer?' And I look for the answer. And then","and I just had this crazy dream, that I'm this woman and I have this whole world in the back of my mind, and then I have this girl that I'm babysittin","I'm not a great reader, I'm not really. I do read books, I do read magazines. But I don't really enjoy it. I don't. I just kind of read it","And I don't know what it is, this, this feeling that I have that there's something missing, that there's a part of me that I can't identify, that I'm ","there was a woman in the street, she was pregnant with the man that was in the car, she was carrying this man's baby and then this guy shot her, and i","[T]he same thing happened to me. I saw something like this [a scene in a movie], and then I just kind of got out of it, and I got scared, and I","you know I have to say I don't think I know what that means, and I can't remember when I first learned that, but I've had a lot of trouble in my life,","it's funny, isn't it. I remember that, I remember when I used to work at the University. And then, then they, they got the new man to do it. And I","[thinking about a story] A little girl on a bicycle and a boy in a hat... ...and the boy's going to pick her up... ...[thinking of the story again, bu","I could have thought of it this way: I had a little trouble with the math problem on my exam yesterday, and I guess I could have figured out the answe","I remember the first time I saw my mother's face, because I was a little baby at the time. I was in a car and I was driving with my mother, and she wa","there were a few things that happened. We were going to a big party for the kids, and then there were a lot of kids there, and I just looked around an","the new book has to be better than the old book. And I think it's good that I have to write a new one. I think that that's the only way to keep it goi","this is it. And it is. It is. And the color is green. It's like the color is like the light. It's the color of the light. You can see it and","I am so tired! I need to get up and move around. I will. I will get up and I will do something. It's not much of a good day, today. But there","I feel good and my feet feel good, the house is quiet. I am here. My eyes are closed. My hand is touching the floor. I am so comfortable. I am floatin","and my mind is so tired, so tired. My thoughts have been going through different things for a long time. And I just have this feeling of being on the ","I'm working on my book. It's very difficult because I have to find a balance between what I have learned in the last ten years and what I know, and th","it's going to take a few days, and it's going to be painful, but it's going to get better. But if I had to do it again, I don't know that I","and he's like 'I'm going to make sure he gets what he wants, that's what I'm doing.' And he's like, 'I'm trying to be a good parent,' but","and then I remembered I was just getting to that part and then I remembered that I'd never been able to go anywhere and I had always just had to leave","I'm making it up. And I just hope that he'll be in my life, you know. I just hope he'll be my partner. And I'm going to talk to him and be","I want to get that thing done. I don't want to be left here in this room when you come back. I have to get this done. I'm going to have to do somethin","the moment you reach for the ring, it goes into the drawer. You can't look in it anymore, but you know it's there. You know that your dad and your mom","I was thinking about the big party. I mean, the one that you're going to have when you get your apartment. I mean I'm just thinking about it. You know","and then there's the fact that I was never a good teacher. I never have been. I can't. I can barely even do a good job in this office. I was never any","I'm always amazed by how, when I think about, like, what I'm going to wear to work, that I get all, like, panicky. Like, 'What am I going","I've been trying to think of a way to help the people who live with me. I don't know what I mean. I want them to be happy. I'm not good at making frie","I don't have much to do today, and I'll probably end up working anyway, but I wanted to take a break from my desk and do something else. I'll probably","and then I have this idea: I wonder if I could get a job teaching. I don't know how I would go about it, but I'd like to try. And if I do get","I was at a conference in 1982, and one of the papers I went to was on the application of fuzzy logic. I wasn't going to give a presentation, but I was","we're talking about the economic impact, right? Like, if you had a group of people who were doing their jobs and who had jobs, and, um, you had a way,","we have a new country here. It's an international organization that is just trying to develop itself. We have a lot of foreign companies coming here, ","you don't have a good name for it. It's like a postmodern way of thinking, where we're trying to get to the point where everything is just as good as ","we just can't do that, that's not how things work. If the government is going to be able to run a country, we need the people to know what they're doi","I don't think it's as simple as the government doing this. The government's not really the one who's going to get to know people's innermost thoughts,","and we should be talking about it. You should be talking about your friends and your family. And you know, there are certain things that I feel that a","the same as a little girl, I didn't have to worry about how the world was changing. The world was changing for me and I could do anything I wanted. I'","you know, I am always thinking, I am thinking that, what if I don't like my boyfriend? What if I don't have a boyfriend? I am always just thinking. Yo","I'll take care of things if it goes that way. But if it doesn't go that way, then the day will come when you can't live in the way that you want to li","and I'd say that you know, you know, it's a great, great thing. It's like a real blessing. And I'm really really blessed, you know. I really have been","I have a real bad time with those things. I never could get through 'em. I'm afraid I don't have the stamina. And that's what's killing me. It's killi","[T]he first thought that comes to mind when you think about the question of how to do better work is that it's not enough to simply want to do better,","it's a way to make money that's different from the usual way that's the same. And it's kind of like the way the US used to be. When the US was like a ","this is the problem that I'm going to have to think about in the morning, and that is the issue of the length of the stay here. The amount of time we'","you don't have to have a specific reason to be a woman. The reason to be in this country is to be a citizen of this country. It's not necessary to be ","this is a very important issue in the way we go forward in our research. We want to have the most significant impact on the scientific community by do","I was thinking, in fact, that the idea of what would be necessary in the future, if we're to really reach the point where the nation's a functioning d","the idea of this is to go through and talk about it in a way that will enable the system to understand it. So, we have a way of understanding, the way","it was very hard to just sort of sit there and sort of just be like 'I'm not doing anything' and sort of stay in the present moment, so you know, what","I mean, it is a good idea to have something like that for when people are learning. And I don't want to say it's just learning in the sense that you'r","the process of thinking in my mind, I have to use a lot of energy. I'm thinking in my own words and then trying to use the language to describe what I","the idea of the structure of a sentence is the idea of a sentence being made up of the predicate and subject, where the predicate is made up of a verb","now that the questions of the interview are over, there are other things that we are talking about that are of interest to the interviewer and the int","a long time ago in a galaxy far away ... a planet called Tazarkor, which is located in the system of Zarkos, which is, of course, one of the planets t","I think... I think that I will make the first step, the first step to go down and see how much you... how much of it is really important or not import","this is how we are doing. We are doing that. It is the first time. We have no idea of what we are doing. That's how we are starting. Now we are trying","I can't understand that, it's not a word, it's a thought. It's not a thought that I have, it's an image, a visual image of the thought. And it","I'm going to be late. I have to catch the bus. I have been late, and I have missed it before. It has already left, and the next one will be in ten min","the man's feet, which have been on the ground for two seconds, now move off, and the man is now in the air. He's not going to hit the ground yet, he's","and I remember, in the 1950's I had a classmate in school, and his mother was very sick, and I think it was cancer, and his father came home with","and you know, I'm just not sure I ever really wanted to be a writer. You know, I've written a few stories, but I never really thought of myself as a w","and that is what I'm worried about. I don't know where I'm going. I'm always afraid of that. That's my biggest fear. That's the most important thing. ","what would happen if I suddenly appeared in a country where the population was opposed to me, for whatever reasons. In my case, the reason could be th","a feeling of being like the body, like the body itself, and then there was a moment that was really very painful, like being burned with a hot needle ","I have a big idea, you see. I'm going to build an enormous dam. It will be the biggest dam in the world, and it will be built in the heart of the city","and now I'm going to have to stop myself and not say this out loud. It's very important that I not say it out loud. I'm going to stop. I'm not going t","and if you look at the sky, there's a star. And if you look from the opposite direction, there's another star, and the sky is always changing. And som","it is like a puzzle: there is a piece that does not fit in. If I do not find a piece that fits in, I cannot put the piece together. There are many thi","It's like the smell of the sun, but also the smell of death. The sun, that smell of the dying sun. That is the smell of our sun, and of all the suns","I would like to remember to find out whether there is a lot of oxygen in the blood that is flowing in the arteries. Is the body made up of a lot of wa","I don't want to see my mother. I don't want my mother to come to me. It's like a cloud that covers my mother and the world and everything. It's an imp","I'm just like a tiny atom, I am, I'm the smallest thing in the universe, and there's all these big, big, big stars that are bigger than the whole univ","now the thing is, that I'm going to do everything. I'm going to make a difference to the universe. I'm a conscious being. And my job is to make a cons","it's not the same, that's all right, that's a different story, that's another way of life. That's a different way of thinking, different, that's why w","this is an interesting thought... and I don't know... is the difference between the observer and what is observed, is it that what is observed is alwa","the 4th day is coming up, and we'll have to make plans for that. There's no way that I can get a job to keep me occupied from now until then. I'm","that's really interesting, you know. It's not even that much, but that's the way the way the thought goes, you know, like, the way the thoughts, you k","it's a way of getting information and the way I can see it is that it's a means of getting information from the past, from the future, and from the pr","I feel like a child. I feel like a baby. I have a baby and he's six or seven weeks old, so I know how it feels to have a baby that old. I feel","and I was just wondering, if I didn't, in fact, have a boyfriend, I guess, you know, if I did that, and if I didn't have a boyfriend and I just","that was a little funny. Yeah, I think I was saying that I was going to go to the store and get some of the stuff to eat. And then, you know, I though","and I was sitting in the classroom with my two kids, and I was really depressed, because I had a bad job. It's really hard to have two kids, I was ver","you're just lucky, because I've got a friend that works in that field and I know that I'll never do this, so I'm just lucky. I've never tried this bef","And the other one, I wonder what his name is. That's right, his name's Burt, I guess. You know, it's funny, sometimes when you think about your friend","I can't help it, I just have to have it all. It's just me, me, me! I've got to have it! I've been wanting to have it for a long","I'm not sure if the police will find the body. They're too busy to go looking for it, or they think they'll never find it. No matter what happens, I'l","I'm not going to do it, I'm not going do it. I'm not gonna do it, not gonna do nothing. I'm going to get out, I'm gonna get out.","my sister was working at a factory in California and she got sick and she had this asthma thingy and the doctor told her to go get some medicine and s","I have a car, and it's got a heater, and it runs outta gas, and I don't have enough money to get a new one, but I got a friend that's gonna","I'm gonna get my things, get my stuff, get my...I'm gonna...I'm not gonna make it home tonight. I'm not...I'm just gonna go to the station...","I guess the fact that she's a man and I'm a man and she's a lot younger than I am, that's a big thing. You know. She's 25. I","my children are doing well, and I'm doing okay. We're in a little bit of debt, but it's not bad. I've got to get a new job, or I won't","I just had an idea. I think the first thing I do is go to the supermarket and get the ingredients for the lasagna. And then we'll eat in the evening, ","[T]here's a whole bunch of people that don't want to be a part of this deal, you know, because they don't want the hassle that they have to put up wit","and I'm sitting at my desk now, and I'm going to go to the hospital and get my blood drawn, and I don't know what's going on, I don't have a clue","you can't go around thinking that you have to be good. You're just supposed to be a good human being. And the whole thing about not being good enough.","so, you know, in my life, I do things, I go into the world, I have to go to work, I have a job, I have my kids, I have things to","And the thing is, I'm not going to be able to get out of debt, because the mortgage and the car payment and all that, is really quite a bit, I know th","and then she went to college and she had to learn how to live on her own, you know, and I told her I could help her with that, but she had to take res","And so I went into the office and I went and told them to get ready and I went over there and I talked to him and I told him, I said, 'I've got someth","The time is very short, but we want to get it over. So, we are going to put the baby up for adoption, and we're going to have a very clean divorce, an","and I'm really depressed, and I'm gonna do this, I'm really gonna do this. And then I'm gonna make a whole bunch of money, and I'll make you all rich,","so, like, you know, like, my brother's like, he's like, you know I'm like, 'I'm just like, I'm going to go on a cruise and I","I was walking down this sidewalk, and there was a guy that was trying to jump the fence. It was like a short fence, and he was like jumping on one foo","I wonder if you remember that time I had the dream last year about the man that got out of the car that was parked on the street and then he walked up","I got the paper from the street. I'm trying to put this out. This is for a friend of mine. He's in the service, in the Navy. He's the same age as","and I don't have any of my friends here, and I don't really see a reason to go there. I've got a lot of friends in San Francisco that I could go there","it's going to be a long one. The weather's really bad. I'm not going to be home in time. I'm going to be tired. And then I don't know if I","and what's that? What are they doing? They're doing what? They're going to the hospital, that's what they're doing. You're gonna be going to the hospi","I think they're all right. I think they are. You know what I mean, you know. The best thing to do is to say something, that's it, like, you know,","there's a story about this. A young fellow came to his professor and said, 'I've got to leave the university. I don't like it. It's just too big. Ther","you know, when I was in the army I was, I was a, a, a lot more than just a soldier. I had a lot more experience than just being a soldier. There were","and then I think about the other stuff. And then I'm like, I gotta get the other stuff in there. And then they said, what, do you have any suggestions","I mean, it's a kind of an emotional problem, but it's more of a philosophical problem. What's the point of life? I mean, what's the point in going to ","the more you put it out there, the less important it is. The less you think about it. The less important it becomes. It becomes something you have to ","I could give you my phone number. You can't call me. You could call me... but then what do I do? And I think I might actually have a call from a guy. ","you know how it is sometimes that you hear the sounds of something in your head and it seems to be from outside and you can't tell whether it is actua","my mind is wandering...I'm thinking about a dog...I'm going to kill this dog...I wonder what I'd do to it. I'm thinking about my father...I was thinki","and so, you know, the next day, you'd have to make up an excuse, like 'Oh, I got into an argument with my wife and had to get home early' or something","so I'm a kind of like a shadow of myself. I'm not really myself. I don't really believe in God. I don't even believe in God, like, I know he's","so if I could have just one thing, one wish to accomplish before I die, I'd wish that I would have...I mean, I'd...I would wish that I...I wish I","I would like to see him again. I think he might be married now, but I don't know. He seems like a good guy, I guess. He was a friend of mine once.","you know I got into that a lot, you know, I had a lot of fun and, I don't know if that's a good thing. I've had, you know I've had","a lot of stuff you go through, but you don't remember it. You know, you don't think about it. You don't remember some stuff you go through. And so it'","I remember my dad saying to me, when he was telling me I had a little brother, he said, 'Now you have a little brother to play with.' I remember that,","I remember when I was younger, and we were at a picnic, and I was eight years old, and I remember, you know, I had just gotten into a car accident, an","I was in college in the late '60s. I was 21 when I had a child. It was in a trailer park with my family. I had a baby girl. My","I've been in this business for 10 years, I've had this many patients. I've seen it all. It's been so many people. There are so many different things. ","I was just thinking, I wonder how many hours of sleep you get a night. I never know, I guess you don't know either. I think about how much time I spen","It's the same thing. If you really look at it, it's the same. It's a big mess. It's all a mess. I don't think so. I don't know","there's no way I can be so lucky. I've already got to be lucky in order to be able to do this, but to be lucky enough to make this money, I've got to","and it's always a pleasure for me to have the opportunity to come back here at some point, so that we can work together on projects and so on and so f","I'm going to the library on Thursday night. I haven't been to the library since I got to school. It's just like being home. I remember coming home, we","And I'm going to be doing my thing in my place. And I'm going to do my best to get all these things done, because I really want to get the house clean","I am sitting here. And the other thing, is that I think about it. I think about the project and that it will be good for people. I'm doing the same th","and I know you are not. I have been there. I know how it is. I know it is possible to overcome that feeling. I am not scared anymore. I have this feel","I know, it's a bit of a clichรฉ. But I think it's quite true. Because people, they have their own way, and they know what to do, but sometimes you get","the woman has just passed her 50th birthday. That means I'm not in the same year of life as her. I'm only 27 and she's 50. She","I know it's really hard to say goodbye to your kids when they're young. When they're older it's easier to say goodbye, but I think it's really difficu","[W]hen we have to do some big decisions, like: what career to do or what city to live in or what school to go to or something, or even the decision to","the number of times that the word 'woman' came up, I noticed a lot of 'woman' in my thoughts. The other day, when I went out, I said that I didn't","and so that's it. It's very easy to forget things, I think. I don't know if it's a natural thing or if it's the way the human brain is or if it","[I]t's just like... it's like a switch or a button or a valve... that you have... in your head... that you... that you turn on... and turn off...","I have a good memory. I remember all the names. I remember what the person looked like and how he behaved, even if they are dead. ... I remember peopl","we go to the place where the rest of the family was, and there's a nice table set with all of the food and I just eat all of this food. And then after","a person has a choice of two things in his hand and he makes a choice. He does it unconsciously but that's not the important thing; the important thin","the main thing about all that is, is that the real world is an illusion, isn't it? Because if the real world were out there, then there'd be a point i","[I have] a car, and I was thinking about cars, and what cars are good for, and cars are good as transportation, and cars [are] good for being able to ","[A]ll kinds of different things. I would think of people's names, I'd think of places I'd been. I would have the idea of walking somewhere, or going t","the first day of class we have to sign in on the first day and then take our tests. I'm not very good at taking tests and I've always been like this. ","and you have to make an argument. I mean, we could have a debate on it and it would be very interesting, and it would probably be very interesting to ","so I'm gonna say something really dumb here, and that is I've thought about this quite a lot. There's this thing called a 'psychological fact'. We all","I have some ideas of what I've got to do with the world. But I think the main thing that I need to do is get out of the house and start dealing with s","but what's a good way to start? Let me see...I have no idea...maybe I should go to bed and worry about it tomorrow. No, that's a silly thing to do.","I have no idea, I just want to know what happened. I want to know if you had the same experience. What I mean is, I've heard all the stories about the","that is what the problem is. It is always the problem. I don't know. It doesn't matter whether we go to school or not. We'll go to school and we'll fi","and I said to him: 'What does it mean?' And he said: 'It is a very big, very complicated question and it is not possible to answer it in a few words.'","and now I'm saying that the idea that this is going to be the end of the world, or that it's not going to be, is that, that's what's going to be in","a few days ago, when I was doing something else, something completely different, I was thinking about, well, it's a matter of having some kind of a pi","so the big question that we are going to be considering is...we will be considering the question of what it is that is important, or what is it that m","you know, this is really interesting. It is really, it is a very interesting phenomenon, where the unconscious seems to be, to be sort of a very clear","the beginning is always a point of separation...it's a moment of transition and at the same time a moment of separation and the beginning is always a ","what is it that you say that's a good thing? ... I don't know. What is the good thing that I said that was a good thing, if it isn't a good thing that","[M]y past and present and future and everything I have and everything I want and all my thoughts and my actions and all my experiences, whether I am a","a word for a word, I think, and then it would be like an instant translation, it's just like the word itself, in the form of a word, so then when you ","now I have a thought of this picture. I'm picturing a square and I'm picturing this picture I can imagine: the square is empty space and the square is","I remember once, when I was young, I saw a piece of paper in the water. And it's an image of something that's been very significant in my life, of cou","there is a very interesting thing about a person in a position to make a decision about some important matter. ... the moment one has arrived at a dec","you know the day of the election, you know, we're in a society in which the majority of the population is going to elect a government which is not the","I'm trying to write about how to stop thinking in words. It's a very hard problem. I don't think it can be done. If I am asked to give an opinion, I w","and the whole idea of a whole culture of people having different experiences is that in a certain sense we are not talking about the same things becau","I'm having a hard time here. I feel that I'm a part of a very small group of people that are being pushed into a minority position. I'm not sure I agr","I know what I'm talking about, I really do. I know it when I hear it. I'm not just another person with an opinion. I know what I am talking about. I k","I'm wondering what is this, what is this world, why there is so much suffering. Why, in the world of evolution, it is not possible to have a complete ","I'm not sure about this idea, about this way of thinking about what is good or bad for someone, for a whole species, or a whole group of people. It se","I've had a lot of experience, in the past, with people who are thinking about something or something that is going to happen. I think, for example, of","and if one looks at it from that perspective, then it becomes easier to understand, and this is in fact my own view. And in terms of the issue of the ","but what do I do to know what is right? ...how do I know what is in fact right? ...what I can see with my senses... my senses can be deceived ... ther","I think the primary issue is to get people to come to an understanding of the underlying nature of things as they are. I mean, when we understand some","I have a problem with this that I feel is somewhat paradoxical, which is that if you don't have a problem you don't need a solution. If you need a sol","the word 'love', or a thought about love, and I have an image of this in my head of two people holding hands, and I feel a little warmth. I can feel a","[it is] a kind of self-massage: you are rubbing your mind and you are saying the things that you feel in your mind, the things that are there, and you","the 12th century was an age of darkness. All that you had was your faith, your faith in God and your faith in the saints. All that was important was t","I don't know why, but I see that it's not enough to say, 'Oh, I'll be happy to say that' or 'I'll try to be happy.' It's not","I've heard that, for those of us who do not know, to say that they were made to be married, for the one who has been chosen to be married by God, it i","And I was thinking I had seen you somewhere before, but I couldn't think where. I can't remember when I saw you. And that was the problem with my mind","it was, to begin with, a very intense experience. It was more intense than when you are awake. But then it became a very pleasant experience, so that ","I'm not sure of the name, but I remember, it's a famous writer... I'm not able to find out, it's like when we get an answer to a question and we don","It's like a very dense fog, and I see everything in the fog. It's like the whole world is a big fog, and there are no boundaries in the fog, and you c","and suddenly it was clear to me that we do not have to wait for something to happen before we begin to do it. If we are to act in such a way that we a","I'm a father with three children. I am a good father, I hope. I feel a lot of responsibility to be a good father to them, to educate them, to teach th","I'm going to die. I'm going to die of cancer, I'm going to be a patient, I'm a patient, in a mental institution. I'm in a mental hospital, I","and the last thing is I feel as if I have a lot of time to live, and that I could live more or less how I like, without the necessity of having to hav","[W]e're on a deserted island somewhere. I don't know where. We are being chased by an enemy. It's a sort of a nightmare. I'm on this island and the","And if you don't, then you're not really going to make it and then I don't think we should have gone on the trip at all. So there are no alternatives.","I was just wondering how people with low IQs get into college. They take an entrance exam and you know what, if you don't have a lot of IQ, you're pro","[I'm] thinking about this place, and I want to go out and talk with him. He's a teacher. I think he'd be a good teacher, and he's a nice teacher","and if we could actually make it out of here, then there'd be no reason to even worry about it. And I think there are two reasons for that. Number one","It's all good. It's all good in the world, when you see it as it is. And if you don't see it as you think it is, then there's no sense in","the person is also a subject of the laws and regulations, and they're not in the position of creating these laws and regulations. And it's an interest","I feel good, and I like the way I feel. I don't know if it's the good that's come from all these things, or if it's just good. And, I like","and I know it's very good for me, I just don't want to do it. And then, and I'm sure there's a reason for this, that I know this and that I","a girl and a boy together. She is sitting on a bench in the woods, looking off into the distance, and he's beside her. He's holding her hand, and they","I know what you mean, but it's like having an imaginary friend. I had one as a child. We used to talk to each other and it was fun, but it got lonely ","I don't know why we have to think. It's not for nothing. It's like we're doing this on a TV show and they want us to look like we're thinking. It's","a dream about this man, this old man, he was just walking around. And he just went on and on. He was walking, he was talking. I could hardly see him. ","what I'm doing, I'm going to go out and I'm going to make myself an excuse and I'm gonna say, I don't know, I'll go home, I'll have a","the whole time I've been here, you know, I'm, I'm... I'm I'm not doing anything else, you know what I mean? Like I've been just... like you","and I was thinking of that stupid girl from that day I was with her, and I was like, you know, I'm going to marry her, and we were just, like, getting","I'm thinking about that guy that I met and I was kind of like, 'oh, he's so hot, oh man' ... I'm thinking I like him a little bit but I'm","oh yeah, I mean, I mean like, I remember, I think that I was a, I was a girl and I was like, I was like 15 years old and I had","the end of the year, and I've been thinking that I've been feeling... I just haven't been happy. I've had this... I don't know. It's been a bad year","this is kind of interesting, because I just had this conversation with my girlfriend, and she's like, she's like I just went to this meeting with thes","what if my whole life I just don't know what I want? I could end up being very unhappy in the long run because I don't have a purpose in life. I mean,","I think I'm going to go to a conference in Seattle next year. I think it will be good to be on a conference. I've never been to one. I don't know how ","I've been having a conversation with a man and he's asking me if I've read the book and I'm saying, yes, I've read it, but I'm not a big fan.","I know there's a lot of research on this. I know there's been a lot of articles written on the importance of children's play. I just read one the othe","I think I've made it, you know. I made it. It's a real success. I got a million dollars from a grant for a grant writing course. I was on the national","a few of the other women said, 'You're in the wrong place.' ...you're in the right place if you're trying to get the right place. ...If you're trying ","I feel like I should be doing this. I feel like I'm not doing this right. I think you're trying to do it in the right way. I mean, you're not saying a","and you're like, 'It's going to be all right, he's going to get better,' and it's like, 'No, he's not getting better, he's just going to","we're still getting this. You can see why he's getting all this. He's got a bunch of people saying, 'Well, why are we here?' 'Why are we here? What","and they are all right. I don't mean I'm just saying this, but you can see from the way they look at you that you are right, that you are on their sid","and then, all of a sudden, it's a question, isn't it? I'm just saying to myself, 'this is it, I know what's going on, it's not really","the thing I would want to say to a fellow who's going through the same experience is: I know you're struggling to make sense of what's happening. It's","and you know what I realized, and it was like a huge realization, but also like something I always sort of knew in some sense, and I realized that whe","I have this idea that in the end you're not supposed to make sense of things, that there's no point in making sense of things and that it's almost lik","I feel this is a time where I want to take the next step, even if it is not the next step I thought I'd take. It's a different step. And it feels to m","and then they say that they don't see the need for it anymore, and I'm like, 'Well, how will you know when you have the need for something?' They say,","I'm looking at it with a very different mindset now. Because I'm aware of the fact that this is a process, this is not just me getting a job, but this","I'm gonna be sitting in the office, waiting for the day to be over and the day to end, because I am a person who works for somebody else. I don't real","I remember walking through the woods in the afternoon sun, and seeing this tree. There's this old gnarly tree, and there's a little girl. She's trying","I can see all these people I know on the bus, I can see them all, and then I'm in the car. I'm going to the store. I'm not going to get out","I am getting more and more aware of the fact that I am just a tiny part of an ever-expanding universe... there is more of me in everything around me, ","the feeling is like a lightness... it's like... you know you're not thinking about it... it's just the feeling... you're just floating and there's a l","it's just that I feel so tired. I don't want to move, and I feel like I'm in my head. It's like when I'm so tired, like at the end of","I don't know. I don't know what to do now. I'm stuck in this space between two things. I can feel my feet. They're up high, like in a cloud.","[in the middle of my thoughts, I hear] the song of a bird; it is a familiar bird, but I don't know its name... I know I'm not in my room but","it's almost like we're moving through this field of air or something, and then we move out and we can hear what's going on. There's a lot of things go","a woman and I are out on a boat, in a river, and the boat is going over a small waterfall, and we are floating down a river with rapids and I am looki","I can see all this, just like when I'm standing here. I can see all the shapes, the forms, the buildings, all the buildings. I'm not moving, I'm stand","the ocean, and the river...and the sky...and the waves, and the air. The air, and the sun. The sun, and the moon, and the stars. The stars,","It was so good to be home again...I could really be me, be myself for a while, not really have to worry about the house or anything else. It's so good","the body's physical energy is not sufficient, so I think that the physical body should be taken care of, but the soul doesn't want to be taken care of","I am in the dark. I have been there for a long time. It is pitch black, and I know nothing. The room is empty, there is no sound. I don't even feel","the thing is, I'm not sure if I could tell you, but it would be almost as if I was telling you a story, that I was living in the moment, but then, whe","I feel the blood of my father running through my veins. I know what he's going to say. I know I'm going to get a hard time from my father. I'm not goi","the only thing that's interesting is to watch the thought process, to watch the mechanism by which a thought becomes a thought, so you know that thoug","I am looking at my book, I am trying to remember who I'm looking at, the person in the photograph, it's difficult for me to remember who that is. I do","this is my thought. My thought is that there is a division of work. This is my thought, this is my thinking. The thoughts come in, I notice the though","now you have got me in a state where I can't go on. I'm having a lot of problems because I can't say anything. I want to say something but I don't kno","I am sitting here, and my body is relaxing, and I feel like it's going down into my stomach. It's sinking. It's like it's getting ready to fall away, ","I'm not really thinking about anything at all. I'm just...I'm just seeing. I can see this room...I can see...I can't see the other people's faces...I","I see something, and then it's like a big white space. I can't see anything else. It's like there's something I can see in my peripheral vision, but m","you know, you know that this is a problem that I've been thinking about for a long time. I was thinking about it a lot when I was a kid, you know, I j","it's really hard to say what it is, it's not that I'm just thinking about my life and how it's going and I'm not doing something right. I'm trying to ","and the second time he got a 40, but he's pretty good, you know, and the other one he got 39 or something and, you know what I mean? And","I want to get out of here...I want to go home. I don't wanna be here. I want to get away from all of this. I don't care about the things that I","a small plane was on fire and it was heading down towards a church that was right there on the top of the mountain, right behind the plane. It's a ver","I mean, if I could just go out in the world and play, I'd be happy. But I can't, so I've got to be like that. I've got to just,"],["and that's it, and that's good. Now, this is the bad part, is it not? Now, let's see, let's, oh, let's get this straight: I","and I see this guy here. He's got a little bit of a mustache and a little bit a beard, and he's wearing this tunic, and he has these little fringes on","and if it is, we'll be fine, and we'll be good people and we'll make a good world and it will be good. So, we're going to have to have a lot","[t]hat's why it's so hard to say no. It's like, there's nothing you can do, but you can still say no. Like, that's what you're supposed","and I am afraid because I'm afraid of people. I can't talk to people, I feel like they're going to go in the wrong direction and I don't want to say t","it's a small world...sometimes I see that some people I know I really need...I need to talk to them, so I say 'Hi! Hello!'...I'm very quiet and I","I'm going to talk about the relationship between the human and the animal, the human and nature. How this is all related to the way we live, the way w","the word 'eagerly' (tapping fingers) is something I like to use in my writing. 'Eagerly' is like... (chuckles) what I like to be called","the problem is that there's an idea that I'm supposed to think of in terms of this kind of, I don't know, this is a little difficult. It's a little di","the fact that you're looking at me, right now, in the room with me, and I can see your face. But the fact that you are looking at me is a function of ","you know I like this idea that we can see into each other's mind, and that maybe if you and I could do that, we could better understand each other's p","I was having a dream that I was in the mountains and I was with some friends, and I was, I was on a very, very steep mountain, and I had just started ","a little bit, it's not a big thing. But it's, like, an internal, like, this is the internal dialogue that I'm having in my head right now. This is wha","[I]f I were to write a novel... I think I'd have to have a pretty strong reason to do that... I don't have to... it would be a lot of work...","and I remember back then, it's always the same thing, that I've got to get over the fear of this thing. This fear. I mean, I was always like, 'I've","we are living in a society that's so complicated, that's so diverse. We are all living in a different world and a different culture and different time","I'm trying to remember something. I just have a vague feeling. I remember once when I was a kid and I was with a group of people and I just couldn't t","and I can't sleep. I've been trying for a couple of weeks now, and I don't think it's anything to do with stress, because I've been very stressed, but","[the] thought is the same...as the one I had last night...about the person...and I thought I would ask...I wanted to ask if I can help you...and you s","I've been thinking about it, I've been thinking for the past few hours. And I was wondering: what if it didn't work? What if it was a mistake? And I w","you know, I have had this experience before of feeling like I was going to fall over or something, but I don't know how it relates to this, but I know","the moon, the moon... it is so beautiful... and the wind blowing around my ear, it feels like... so soft, like a... like a... a... a wooly... wooly","I want to say the right words and the right things. I want to have that kind of strength that's in me but I want to do it the right way, to do it corr","the more I think, the more I want to think. I want to be with you, so I want to talk to you. It's so good to be in your presence, I feel so","I think you can, you can get up here... and stand. You're strong enough, you can stand here. You're so young, you're so young. You can stand here, you","the little girl, I was the little girl. I don't know what was happening to me. I was a little girl and then I was a girl, and I was a woman, and I","and now, there is the time when I think about my body, I think, oh, how tired I am of my body, how old, and all these years, the same thing. I","I'm a little bit hungry...and it's lunch time. I haven't had lunch and I want to go out for a meal. But I've got a lot of work to do at home","and that is just, I don't know. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I don't feel good. I don't think I'm going to make it. I don't want","you're saying that the system will be in place? I don't think it will. I don't see it at all. I don't have any idea. I'm sorry. I just can","I think this is going to be a problem, I don't know. I'm not sure if I should be trying to find a job now or not, because I don't think I'm going","the other guy is always in my mind. And I'm trying to figure out how to tell her to stop talking. I can't do it. I'm going to try to tell her and then","I am doing this... I think I will take some deep breaths. ...This is hard for me to do. ...I am tired of it. ...I will go to sleep. ...I","I know I should have gone to work. It's hard to do this, because I'm feeling sad. I just don't feel like I'm doing this thing. I can't think of anythi","I think I need to be in a relationship with somebody and maybe I don't have to look for a new relationship right away. I know I've been thinking about","I just woke up...I'm writing my report on the difference between the old and the new...and it's not going well. I think I need to sleep on it, maybe g","that's true, that's true, they just don't, they just can't, they can't, I'm tired of it, I'm going to be gone next year, I'm not","I know the names of all the members of my class. I know all of them. I know their names, their ages, their homes, their mothers' names, their fathers'","I would say that we are living in a time where the right people are not in positions of power, where they are not in power. It is the people that are ","I want to go to a place that you could get to with a couple of hours' travel. It's not far away. It's somewhere that we could spend a couple of nights","and then you could really get into it and get into the way that a lot of things, I guess I'm going to say they're a lot of different things in differe","and then I think it's not just me that is going through this, and then I am going to tell a story about that, about an aunt of mine, and how she did t","the whole thing was that...it was...the thing is I had been having dreams...and they were all of the same nature...of some sort of...the...I'm sure it","what would it be like to go back in time to before I was born, and have the choice of not being born at all? What would my life have been like if I ha","I was born in a house which was on a hill, on a high place, but not far from the sea. When we moved to the other house, the first one was a farm. It","I was thinking about the whole idea of being alone, because I've always lived alone in the past, and I think I'll have to live alone again. ... But th","I was trying to make up a story. I was trying to think up some kind of story. It was about a woman. She lived in the country. And she had a small hous","I have two sisters. One lives in the city, the other is married to a farmer, and lives in the country. I live between the two of them. My mother was a","we went into the [hospital] on Thursday, and you know, that was a little bit of a shock. I mean, you didn't know what you were getting into. I thought","I was on the train with my father and he had a bunch of stuff to do for his work, and he had to work late at night, so I stayed at home, but we still ","and this guy said 'I'd like to go and have a look at the farm,' so we said 'Okay, we'll come and take a look at it,' and he said 'I'm","I am very sorry, because it is not quite correct, you see. My dear, I did not ask you to come back. I did ask you to have a look around the place, you","and it is a matter of course for a man to have an opinion about every matter; and there is no man so stupid but that he knows at least something about","and then I feel, oh, my God, I feel such an intense longing for the woman I once knew, but which is now dead to me. That's how I feel: I think of","And I know that I have no right, but I cannot resist saying that the only way that a man can escape the love of God is by saying that the love of God ","[H]ow can I live with you? Because I am a Jew! I am a good Jew. I don't know how to be a good Christian. And yet I love you. I","and, I thought, 'I have an opportunity to meet the Great God of the Universe and the Great God within myself.' I am here in this country where I can h","and my own soul and the soul of all my nation shall rejoice; and the soul who is hungry of the Lord's soul, and the soul that is hungry of my God, sha","I know what a human being is, I have seen many human beings, I know that one's heart is made of flesh and blood and bones, I know, I have known for ma","I am here, and the body is here, and my body is here. Now, how is this body to be? I am to be here, but where is the place I should be here","And if I were a king or a queen I should give him that little thing of which we spoke in the last chapter. He should have a crown for himself. He shou","I do not know why, but I know, that if you look at me, and I look at you, and we both look at each other, then you will find me, and that is","I wonder what I am thinking about now. What do I mean by 'thinking' ? I mean that there is something in me that wants to do something, and I have a fe","it's as though I was making a big mistake... I feel I'm doing something that's not what I want, which is something that's only half-right. It's as tho","And, if I think of it, the man who would become a man of God is not a man of religion, and he is not a religious man. The religious man thinks of reli","I'm not a very good player of music, but I know the theory of it and the history and I do a little piano and I play the piano very well and I can play","And, you know, you know you can't teach a man to fly in the air. You can't put a man in an aeroplane and tell him how to fly in it. But","now we've got our second degree, you see, and we've got a little bit more responsibility. There are certain things you can do in the military and cert","this is what I thought you might do. But I'd been thinking of, you know, what they might do. And if they might do this, then they might do that, you k","the number of the hour, 28:19:00. You can see that. There's a pattern there. ...I don't know where it comes from. ...the number","The words that we read, we read them as if we were writing them down. We write down our thoughts, we put them down. And they stay there in a file. And","this is an old thing in this city, right here, on this spot, they have a place with the name of the devil. It is the Devil's Alley. When people, as if","well, I remember having this idea of a small bookshop in the city centre, with a very long counter where people could come in to talk with the booksel","I have some ideas. I have some very important things to say about this. But it's very difficult to get them all out. So I'll have to think about it ag","and, on the other hand, when you come to the second part, the second part of the poem is 'the way in which things are in themselves and are experience","I thought about the story I told you. It's not about the time when I was in my childhood. It was about the time that I was in the city. And the time w","I am saying my name, and my name is E. B. (the initials of a famous scientist) and he said... I was trying to find a word for my name. It's a","I will talk about what I am thinking now, about what comes to mind as I try to think about myself and my thoughts about myself. So I am trying to thin","and this is what I am doing with the film. And this is what it is about, but I can't remember now. But I know there is a story that is going to be tol","I am a little bit frightened of that because I'm not sure I would be able to say how I would write it if it were a piece of writing or anything. I don","what is the point of thinking?...It's so easy to say what a thing is, but to describe it is much more difficult...And what is the use of this?...I thi","what do I need, what do I need? I need to be in touch with other people. I need to have some social contact. But then I've got to make some decisions.","I don't know how long this is going to last. And I don't know if I will ever be able to do this again. There's a feeling of emptiness, but at the same","a lot of the time it's an emotional experience that I'm having...I don't know how to put it into words. It's like my feeling of feeling...it's just a ","I've had this dream so many times. I'm in a dark, dark tunnel. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I've had this thought so many times, it's almo","I'll go and buy some cheese, then I'll go and eat it. I'll go out and get some cheese. I'm going to go and get some bread and cheese and eat it and","I want to do a crossword. Oh, it's the crossword puzzle. Yes. Oh. What's the subject? Oh. It's something to do with... with something. Oh, what?","[I]n the 80s we had a baby here in our house. I didn't have to go into hospital for my own delivery because I had a C-section, and they came","this is very odd. I've never felt this before, but it seems as though there is some kind of link between what's going on in here [head] and what's goi","I see the grass. I see a fence, a fence of sorts. I see myself. I am not alone, I see a man, a small boy. I see the house. I see","and, well, I'm thinking, in a way, I'm a kind of person who likes to, you know, kind of think about things and, you know...and I'm thinking...","I want to try this again in 30 or 45 minutes. This is something I want to do, but I'm not sure it's going to be successful. It's kind of","I'm trying to think about what it is about the human brain that causes us to want to talk. That is what I'm trying to get to. Because obviously there'","it's a feeling, it's a feeling that makes me feel like I'm being held in place... the feeling that I'm held in place. I'm held by the chair, and the c","the thing I thought of right away is that it seems to me that in the mind it has to be a thought in order to be a memory. You have to be thinking of s","[I am] on a path to the south... I'm in my mind, walking along the path. It's very beautiful... and I'm walking along. I'm going to tell you a","in the morning I'll do the washing. I'm going to wash my hands. I'm not going to put soap on my hands. But I'm going to put a towel in the sink and","And I'm not a very good person. I'm not. I mean, I've been looking at myself and I'm not... I'm not, I'm not really. I mean I know","and that's the end of my life. And I'm happy. And I got everything I wanted and I didn't care for anything else. And I was happy. And that was it. I","there's so much to see, there's so many things. You know, I'm so tired of just having a routine. I want to live some other life than the one I've live","And that's how I'll know what I'm worth. So, if I were to have a job, if I'd like to work, I think I would want to make $15 an","I was thinking about the times when we're just sitting down and eating, or just sitting down on a sofa and having a drink. And you think, oh, you know","I'm just going to talk to you. You know, I really don't care what you say. I'm not going to listen to you. And I'm just not going to answer you.","I think I could have been a good Catholic if I had been more consistent. I wasn't consistent because I didn't want to. I thought I'd be punished for i","and then I was having a conversation with a young man who was a bit older than me. He had asked me why I didn't marry and have a family, and I had sai","it's all been so hard. I've felt so alone, I've felt like nobody would ever understand me, like nobody would care. And I don't think I'm wrong, I've n","I think it would be a lot more difficult to put the blame on her than it would be to put the blame...I think I was going to say that I didn't want to ","what about, you know, that's interesting about, you've got your two sides, right, your right and your left. You've got your left side, you know, your ","and I've been in the car a lot today. I was out here yesterday afternoon and then I was out there at 2:00 last night, so I've been out in the car","I'm driving up here, and I'm trying to figure out where the hell I am, so I turn the radio off, I put the radio on the stereo, because I'm just trying","I had a dream last night that I was at a birthday party of a friend. She had a birthday and a bunch of people were there, and they were drinking and s","it's the thing that I was telling the guy in the bathroom earlier today and he was like 'what is that?' and I was like 'oh, it's my birthday.' And, yo","oh my god I was having a dream just now that I was like walking along the street and all the people on the street were all like sitting on their porch","And it's like, I think about a girl I used to know, and I remember that she was really pretty, and I think I was in love with her, and then I think th","I think of you, and I think of you and I think, and I don't know why I'm thinking about you, but I can't get you out of my head. It's like","And so that's what's going to happen. I mean, they're going to be like, I know they're going to say, 'What's your favorite color?' And I'm going to","[A woman] had a friend who was a vet and she wanted to become a vet. And I think she was like a few years younger than me, but I think we were actuall","I was thinking about how the next time we have a party we're going to have to get the whole family involved in it, you know, because we're going away ","And then I'm gonna tell my mom about it, and my dad's gonna be all like, 'You know what, let's just not do anything stupid. We're gonna go back to the","and they're always on the internet looking up recipes. I've done it a bunch of times. I don't know what's wrong with them, they have this, you know, t","and that was the first time I realized that there are these people, like, who are just so powerful they can actually, like, get away with anything, li","I think you should go see her. I think you should, because it's not that you're trying to prove a point. I think it's because, I don't know, it's not","and then it came to me. I'm not a great guy. I'm a great guy, but I'm not the best. There are better people than me, and I'm not better than","And I'm also thinking about something. I don't know if this is right, but I'm thinking about how a lot of times, in life, people make a decision and t","And, I can see a guy going up and down the stairs and then he looks like he's about to step on a guy. And it's like, I don't know why, but he","the word 'church', then I think that it's like... a church... that's... the church I was going to... well I used to go to church, not so much for... j","a new game. It's a game about money. You don't get the money, you have to pay the money. I think it's an American game. It's kind of like the game","I have some problems with my mind, you know. I feel as if I don't belong anywhere. I feel a bit of a loner, but I don't know if I'm alone.","I'm trying to say how I've always been very interested in the meaning of life. I've always known that I had some kind of problem in that area. And I t","the whole thing was about a girl and the boy, they had met in a very interesting way. The boy had a very nice car. I'm not sure, I don't remember if t","I'm trying to think what the hell I'm doing here. Why am I here? I don't know. I feel that I'm a bit lost. I'm a very quiet person and I","I think that that is, I'm not sure, that's the second thing you said. Well, the first thing you said, and the second, yes, that is what I think. It","I don't know why I can't remember my father. Why?... I think that if he'd been like this, he'd be a nice father. If he'd been more like this,","the only way that I can imagine that you can be so sure about the [the] chances of winning. The other way to approach this is to assume that you know ","I feel as though I have just been told the end of the world is at hand. I'm not going to get out of this. There are no choices here. I'm just going to","And then I just want to feel that. ... I want to feel myself, I want to get myself back to myself. And the thing is, is, and this is something, you kn","that's the part that gets me is that I just don't have the ability, I have the desire to, to be able to do that, to put it all into words and the real","I've been trying to think of some way to help the guy get some help, but I think it's pretty clear that there's no help for him. He's just a lost caus","I could think that the most important thing is the ability to act and then you could be very good at something. That would be the most important skill","I was reading about a man who has been out there for 3 years and 6 months. I don't think that's much longer than I have been out. I don't know if this","[The participant] sees me sitting in a room, sitting on the floor. A man is sitting next to me, talking, I'm sitting there and listening to him, he's ","[I]s it possible for somebody to be a little bit of a genius but not have a great deal of education? I think it's possible but I think that's really a","I am sitting with this man who has been in my mind for a long time. He is an old man. And I am the son of this old man. ... He is now alive. He","[the person is] not always present. You're not always present at the present. You can be in one place and be thinking about another place and another ","this is something I have not thought of in years, since I was in a different place in my life and I was very happy. It was a time of great freedom. Bu","it's very strange to do this, to be here. I don't know how to explain it. It's a very strange state. I have a strong feeling that I'm a part of a","[M]y father is not here. The person in front of me is not my father. It's a figure, a caricature of a father. And this person, who is not my","the world is the world of words. I'm a word, and I live in a world of words... I'm a 'I'... I am my words... I am words... I can","there is this question in my head that's like a burning question and I don't know why, but I've got to know it's a question that I want to know the an","I don't know how long it's going to be, it might be just one day, it might take a lifetime, who knows what's going on, but it's happening. It's happen","and now I am here in this place and it is so beautiful and I want to look at it as long as I can, because I am in a hurry. I can't have anything else ","and I'm wondering what I'd do with you, if I could. I suppose I'd do things with you... things I'm not doing now... I'm not saying, 'I'm in","what's this? (pause) What's this? I'm not sure. (pause) I don't know, I don't understand. I'm not, I don't feel like I'm","it's been a week, you know, I don't know why I keep doing that, why I keep thinking about it and asking myself. But you know what, I'm not sure I like","I can see... I can see it as if it were a photograph, but there's something about it that I can't really explain. And there are thoughts that come up ","it is difficult to get out of here. You can see it, you can hear it, and you can feel it. It is like the earth is moving, you can feel the whole groun","my dad was so sick with cancer that I felt like I could have just never seen him again. And then I got this letter from his friend. He died, I don't t","And I'm going to go on to the next story and this is the next one. Now I'm going on to this story and it's about this little boy and this little boy w","I want to take a shower. I want to shave. I want a new shirt. I have a feeling it's a Saturday. It's been a long time since I've been to a bar","and he was saying 'I'm the only person in this world. I'm the only one that I care about. Nobody else really cares about me.' And I was saying 'but th","the man in the movie who was a soldier, he was with a group of people, and he was in a car, and there were five or six people in the car, and he said ","the next day. I went to the movies and saw the latest Michael Jackson movie. And I saw my girlfriend. I saw her in a picture. And I couldn't believe I","I'm having a dream where I'm walking along and a tree is in my way and I'm trying to get through it. I can't get through it and I'm getting more and m","I'll give you a day off. I'll let you rest. I'll take you somewhere to look for the rest of your life. You'll see everything in a way you never saw it","[T]hese things are pretty well known. You can tell them. Like, I'm kind of a moron. I'm pretty dumb. You can't tell me that. I know","And I was thinking, this is why I think it's a good idea that we put in a public garden in the city, so that we can have people in the city to look at","and we're talking about how to make it so that, uh, I don't think it's necessarily an, an important thing to have the, the actual, the physical struct","I see the screen there, it's like a monitor, a little black and white thing, like it used to be, and we have these big monitors. It's like an old TV, ","and then a bit of the right side is moving out. It's a bit of a weird moving, not quite a blur, not quite an image, but it looks a little bit like the","[S]till trying to find an answer for this. I have a little picture of me as a child. I don't remember the child, but there's a little picture and it's","[I]f I'm on my way to school and I hear that there's a bus crash, I'm going to be anxious. I'm going to wonder if any of my friends were in","it's kind of like being a reporter or something, except, I don't have the same amount of time. I have to go on the record pretty fast, or else I forge","I was in the car today. It was a bit early for the train. And I was thinking, why is it that there is not a direct connection between, like, the 4th a","the old man said, 'It's all right.' He said that in a friendly voice. He said that before the gun went off. He said, 'You're right. It's all right","it's just been so good... and now it's, it's just like, well, you know, now it's like, you know, and now it'll just be over and I'll","we can go to the dance and dance with whoever we want to, as long as we're not dancing with him. We've gotta keep our distance from him and then I mea","so they got some, and we had a good time. And then we got all the money, and then I made up some money. So I went to the bank, and I bought a car","it's like in the beginning. We were really close, like. The first thing we talked about was going on a road trip and stuff and he just loved it. And h","a...a...a thought that crossed my mind...and it was...it was that I'm looking forward to being in France and going to...to the...to the church and...a","I am thinking that I am going to be home with my kids, but I am thinking that maybe I am going to have to work for a while, and I am thinking, if I do","the music, the music. I know I need to get a new guitar. I haven't bought a guitar in a long time. I wish I had money right now. I wish that I were","that's my problem, it's that I'm trying too hard to make it work, and that's the thing that's not working, the way that I'm going about it. And that's","and he [my daughter] would, of course, be, like, all the way up there, and so she wouldn't be able to see anything, and that'd be really frustrating. ","so I am in my pajamas, sitting on the bed in my room. There are all these sheets, they are not very comfortable. I think that I'm going to go back to ","you're here and you're here. And you know, we're going to have a lot of fun in this room. You know, you can get away from all this. You know we have","the most wonderful thing about all of this is that I could do this anytime, anywhere and never have to explain it to anybody. It's wonderful to feel t","I am trying to say something. I am trying to make something clear. This is my head. I can't really make it clear. It's not what I'm trying to say. It'","it's the same, I suppose. It's the same thing. And I'm just a very little bit afraid, in fact. But I feel it's going to come to me. You see","and you know the last time we did this, I was very surprised. I was in the middle of a very complicated train of thought, and I suddenly remembered so","it was a beautiful day today, but I think I should go down and have a look at the house. I have never been down there, and I've been thinking for the ","you see that in the forest, I thought of the trees, I think of the trees. I see the trees. It is spring, and the trees are all covered with snow. This","we would make our first stop at a place called the Valley of the Moon. And there I thought that's where I would go if I were a mountain. If I were a t","and I remember that there was a woman there who was married to a man who was the same as this man was, the same man as the woman was married to. They ","I don't know what it's going to do. I think it's going to make a little bit of noise, but it won't be able to speak. And we'll have to wait for","that's what it was like. And I wondered, what was the cause of all this, all these people. What was it that caused them to be the way they were? I saw","the night of the 25th of October I was in a houseboat in a large harbor and I saw a great battle. I had to save a man whom I knew well. The man","I am thinking about how much I like your books. It is very comforting to think about them. And it is very beautiful too, that you do that, and that yo","I have this feeling I have to say something about the words and pictures on these walls, but it doesn't seem right to speak of the wall and the pictur","I can't believe we don't have any music. I've got to be creative about the music, and I'm not going to do anything I'd never do in the studio, and I d","I'm thinking of this house and how it was built and how the roof was built and I can see the whole house but I can't see the whole roof but I can see ","and I'm going to be at my brother's wedding tomorrow. That's what I'm looking forward to, that's going to be the most exciting thing in the whole worl","the last one... was a guy... who I've been with... for a few... months... and he was the one that... brought me to the wedding. I... just... saw him..","[i]t's [the] middle of the night [I'm] sitting at [the] kitchen table, and [I'm] listening to [my] iPod [and] looking at","I'd never gotten my license for a car, because I was so scared of driving, but I didn't have to be because I didn't own a car, I lived with my parents","I guess that was a nice way to go. I'd never really seen a baby like that before. That was an interesting one. And that was a good time. So that's goo","the other day when I went to work, I went in and the manager came in and I had to do the cleaning, and I cleaned, and the manager was really just like","I got out of that... that was that was bad... I don't know if I'd have got out of it, I don't... I got out because I was told I had to...","and, oh, this is so scary. I feel so, I'm going to have to go back and think about it a little bit more, but I'll be honest, it's a little","I remember that when we were in the hospital the first time, I was like, I didn't want to be here, and I felt so much better when we were out in the s","and I got an e-mail today that, that my mom was getting cancer, and so I thought, 'I have to find out more about it.' So I found out about it and then","I'll be fine. I think I've got to be fine, you know, or I'll have a really bad day. You know, I got to get on the road, get back to","and they say, 'no,' and you know, it's the same thing over and over again. I just feel so bad because he doesn't know, you know. You think, 'well","the boy said, 'Mommy, can I go play with the kids in the playground? I'm feeling so bored.' And I was thinking, well, no, but you can go outside for","I have the feeling that I'm not alone, and it makes me feel happy because I can be myself. If you can feel this, you'll be happy too. You'll be able t","I've always wanted to write a book, but I have never been able to find the time. I've always been too busy. And I've always thought that I was not ver","and then I got that little kid on my left, he was standing next to me, I don't know why I thought about him, he was, you know, a little boy, a cute","I'm supposed to do this for a long time, you know. But I have to be careful, it's too late for me to be writing this. It's not that I have a lot","a child of mine was born with a physical defect and I'm still suffering from it today. I went to an orthopedist. It is a very unpleasant experience an","I think there is something like an 'all-powerful' being. Maybe that's God, who's created this universe, or maybe there's another being, and there may ","you know, it's always a little hard to tell what's reality, and what isn't... I have a feeling I'm living in some kind of illusion. I have a vague sen","I have just heard a radio report on the situation in Afghanistan. I suppose I have to go back to that because it's just so interesting. There were som","and I think I've got my life together. You know, it's not really that bad. I'm not really a very bad person, in spite of what people say, because I've","The only thing I could think of was, what if they don't know who you are? What if you were put in here by mistake, or you are on death row, or you wer","it's like a shadow that I think about all the time. I can't shake it. It's a feeling of dread, but I'm not sure if it's a feeling or if it's","I think there was something that I could have done to help you. ... You could have had a lawyer. ... If you had a lawyer, he could have done things wi","and I know that I know that. And I don't know why I keep saying, and I don't understand how I can think this way, but it's like this. It's like the","and now we are all over here. You are over there and you are over there. And you are over here. And you and I and you and me and you and you and we ar","and that was why you wanted to keep me here?...and how would I know whether she was still alive...? And I was thinking of this house, I mean...we woul","I don't know. I don't know where. I don't think. I don't feel. I think. I feel. I don't. I don't know what. I know what","[t]he way you've been thinking about it, you can't tell the truth to anyone, you just don't know what to do with the truth, so it's going to come out","and I know I'm not a good person, and I'm trying to get to that place where I can be a good person and I don't know how to do it. I can't find","but the thing is that when we see people on the street, we have these ideas, but then they might not be what they're thinking. And they might say diff","[I'm] not going to... go out on the streets. I've been so alone for so long. I don't even have to say it, it's obvious. I just don't","I'm thinking about that time when my dog started to act like he was having a seizure. It's something I've never seen in anyone else, but my dog had it","I'm really not going to be able to talk about my childhood very much because, I don't even remember that much. I was born in a mental institution, and","I guess we're all a little bit like that, you know, the ones that can't quite find their place, you know. I don't know if that's like a problem, but i","And it was a warm day. There was a breeze and a dog was walking along and he was scratching himself. And he was a big dog and he had a little dog and ","and that's a great place to come and see the show. I don't know if they have a show there. They have a restaurant, though. They have this big place, t","and then we'll have to get the little girls to get in a car, you know, and pick them up, and then we have to get to the house and get the baby...and w","what I don't understand about the way people do things is that they don't care whether or not their kids have been hit. Like I was saying about the ki","I'm just sitting here, and I'm thinking, like, 'why am I sitting here, or why do I have to sit here? I don't want to sit here. I don't","[In] the next 48 hours we have to get to the airport, and get on the plane, and then get off at the right airport, and find the right terminal, and ge","a dream about my grandfather who passed away in 1972. The first part was that I was in a boat, and then I was in the house where I grew up in Californ","and it's that the boy's grandmother, she has a son who's married, and she's living with him, and they've been married 35 years. And that's that, that","and I don't know where he is now... I'm going to talk to my mother, and ask if he's found his way. And maybe if she's not in the hospital, I'll","I am the one who is responsible for the world and it is all up to me. I'm the one who made the decision, and I must see it through to the end. It is a","you know how a lot of people go to school and get a degree and they go to the big city and they work as a secretary? And you think, well, that's it. T","we got to go back to school, and we got to be able to go back to work. But I'm not so sure that's what we can do. I know my brother. He's","I'm going to have to work on this project, the one I've been talking about, with my wife. ... We're going to do a project that's going to take a lot o","what a way to make money and it's what I want to do and I don't care what people say about it because you know...I can make my money and do what I wan","I just got a call from my mom. My dad had a stroke last night, he was having some problems. The doctor is here now, they are doing the CT scan, so I d","[T]hings that people don't have to have. Like, if you're married, it doesn't mean that you have to have a child. So it's not that there are two","[P]eople who are sick and get sick and get well again and get sick again and get well. And then they're back to where they were, like, before they had","and then I was in the hospital after I got back, and I thought that it was like the last time I was in a hospital. It was my sister's daughter was bor","the little things that we take for granted. And this is just a little detail. My wife is a nurse, and she went into work. I'm home with the kids. And ","the new government is going to take over all the medical practices, and the doctors are going to get their retirement pay, but they won't be able to t","and then a little bit later I get back, I'm going back, and I have a bunch of papers. It's like a big stack of papers. So I bring it back and I show","a man on the street... he's running, and he's running away from a group of cops, and he stops at a little door, and he opens it and runs inside... he'","this is the problem. The people have no idea that there are any people around, because there are no people around. The only thing they have any idea o","the country is sinking. You can't stop it. You can just do something about the sinking, but you can't stop the sinking. It's going to sink, it's inevi","and there's nothing wrong with it, nothing wrong at all. I mean, there's nothing to be done about it. Well, what's the point of a person saying he's g","It's a good day today. The sun is shining. A bird is singing. It's a beautiful day. The birds are singing. They're singing like... I can't stop the bi","a few years back my cousin was having a conversation with a guy and he's talking about his son who's going to go off to college in the fall and they w","I'll do this thing, I'll do this, it's the way. I think this is the way. Yes. Oh yeah! I'll do it. You know, I'm gonna do","I would really like to, like, I mean I could just leave you like, you know, like, leave you alone, like, go out and just take your things and like lea","I think I'm having a mental break-down, because I can't figure out how to do this. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm so stuck inside ","And that's not good, that's not it. It's not that good. It's really not good. And it's really not it. I don't want it to be like this.","a lot of these things, you can't really find words for them and I'm going to stop thinking about it. But I'll come back to it. That's what I did befor","the 'new' and the 'old' don't coexist; they are each other. The 'new' is a reflection of the 'old', and the 'old' is the reflection of","and now, you know, there's the other side, there's other possibilities, I mean I always have these things going on in the back of my mind that are lik","and we can't stop these things, so we're going to be miserable forever, if we think about it, and we have to stop thinking, because if we keep thinkin","I know. The way to do it is to think about something else while you're doing it. And that way you can't stop yourself and then you do it. And I mean, ","you can't really tell me to stop thinking about this, can you? Because if I did that, I'd just have to start doing it. I can't even tell myself not to","I'm thinking about this guy I know who is really really smart... he's a friend... I'm saying to myself, 'I need to ask him something', but then he's b","and I'm supposed to be sleeping right now. This is crazy. What am I going to do about this? I have to get to work. But I can't. I'm supposed to sleep","And you know that the whole point of this is that we're all part of the same universe. It doesn't matter where you're from, or what your religion is, ","so my old car was stolen, right? Well I went back and I thought I'm gonna call the police or whatever, right? And I didn't even think I had the licens","the other person just said: 'I've never had that before', but he was a bit bitter about it. I mean, he thought it was stupid and it's not like it's a ","I guess I don't know how to live. I think about the things I would have done differently, things I should have done differently. I don't want to do th","And what's that about? Like what's the deal? Like, I'm getting in the way of something or something that I should be doing. You know, like, it's not m","what do you think of people who lie and say that they are Christian, and that they are just like you, and they say they have the same feelings, and th","what if a guy I know is going to commit suicide and I've got nothing to do with him at all. Like what if he's just a friend of my wife. But I know tha","I'm thinking of the game, where we got together and played the game. It was a group thing. It wasn't that hard to do it. And I had to tell them, 'List","I have been thinking about you, and I am wondering what I should say to you when we meet. How long has it been since you have seen me, since we've see","And then I'd do it, but I don't think it'd work. I mean, it's a little bit like what I did when I was trying to get into the Navy, because there","and you have a very good opportunity to develop your self-identity because you are looking at yourself from outside, and I think that's a very good th","this is the reason why the film is so good because it's very interesting. It has a lot of different images and I think it's very well done. I'm really","The sun is so close, it's really pretty. I can see that it's a big globe of light, and it's really beautiful. I don't know if that's just because it's","I've got to take a little break. I mean, this is really interesting to me, but I'm really feeling really tired. I don't know why I feel like I'm going","I can see the sun, and the sun's reflection, on the sea. It's so beautiful, and there's the white, white sand of the beach. There's this woman sitting","and it's like, it's like... a little bit of the moon, you know, the moon. And it's like a little bit like, like a little moon, I mean a little","it's like my whole life has been one big dream, a dream in which I am the narrator. The story is about how I am a very strange person who has the abil","a child is in the midst of a rain storm and is walking through puddles. The child looks up at the sky and says, 'I wish I could fly like a bird.' And ","a little girl is holding a little rabbit that she has just born, and the rabbit has just opened its eyes, and there's a little bird with a little baby","and there's this whole idea about, you know, the universe. I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing, but I really don't think there is any meanin","a whole bunch of thoughts, which come in, like little birds and fly away again. Then I think about them. I think about the thought, the thought, which","what happens when a person dies...what happens to the body? Do the parts that make up the body die, or does the whole body die? Or is it only the soul","the mother's love, the mother's care. And this is an experience that is completely foreign to the world that I live in, where the mother's love and th","and I have a problem with the fact that there are no women in my life, there are no men in my life. And I have a lot of men that I admire, and I have ","I can't remember if it's a 2 or a 3, I think it's a three. It's not an A, it's an E. I know it's a vowel,","the best of all the best. The best of all of the best. That's how I'd like to feel, that's how I feel right now. That's the way I feel right at","the thing I keep thinking about is that when you are with a person you really have to be yourself...the other thing I keep on thinking about is the th","It's all coming out, it's all coming out. What do I say now? What do I tell him? What do you mean, you can't live on it? You can't live","this is where it all goes wrong for me. When I see somebody, like a guy or something, and I'm feeling like I don't like them. When I'm trying to get i","And that's exactly the way I've felt these last few days: like I'm a prisoner in my own body... It's not that I don't have free will. I don't think I","and it's a time in your life that you can't control, and you've gotta deal with it, and it's very important, and I'd be willing to do anything to get ","I guess what I really feel is that I don't want to be treated like this anymore. I want to feel like a man. I want a man's life. And I want to do it","It's not that I'm afraid of you or of the man behind it. It's not that. It's that I can't do it. I can't stop what's inside me from coming","I remember an old friend of mine, who was a soldier, and he was killed in a combat, in Vietnam, and I remember I was out with a couple of other guys, ","and we had a good time, but I don't think we could have stayed there and gotten the job done. I mean I think you had to be on a higher plane to do tha","and then there was a boy in a school in Sweden who committed suicide after a bomb blast at a school. And it's not like it was a suicide. He'd been bro","a lot of people in our society have a lot of problems and don't even know it because it's hidden in their mind, like the person with cancer and a secr","The only thing I know is that I'm not very smart. I can't explain a lot of things. But, for the most part, I'm just an ordinary person. I'm not really","It's an interesting question: if you are a normal human being, you cannot imagine having any other religion, you have no reason to believe that other ","It is in my power to change the things I think, to change the way I think and to change the consequences of my thinking. But it is not in my power, or","I have this idea...of a couple, for example. If you look at the Bible, at the Genesis account, at the beginning, there are these two people who are th","you can do anything, but it has to be in terms of the real world, and we have to face reality and be in it. I can make any thought, any vision, any wo","all the things that we are, all the things that are happening to us, are in some ways the result of this. It is not in a way an objective reality. It ","I see myself being chased by an enormous tiger. I don't know why. It's just an image. I've seen this before. I know it will be a problem, because I'm ","and it's only one day in the future, the day that's supposed to be my last day in the universe. I'm going to die tomorrow. But I'm going to be fine, b","I'm not going to the meeting today. I can't make it today. I'll try to go to tomorrow's meeting, if I can. I'll see if I can make it tomorrow.","I've got to call him. I can't do it any other way. I can do anything else, but I can't call him. He's going to die. We'll never see each","the child had come home from school, had been sent to bed. He was there in the middle of the night, alone and with an empty heart. And he felt as thou","And now it's time to get to sleep, and it's going to be so cold, but I don't know why. I think the house must have been full of people when I was a","the other day I thought about my husband. He was so nice to me the other day. And I said to him, 'You're a very lucky man, you know?' and I thought,","a woman, I think. She's an old lady. She was in her fifties. Her name was Ruth. She came from Australia, and her husband was dead. She had three sons","so he said, 'I'm not going to see you anymore.' So I said, 'What?' And he said, 'Well, it's over.' I said, 'And when did you","And then they tell me that I'm going to be in the hospital, and I'm supposed to stay here until I can be released. I said I would, I said I'd stay. So","I have always been the kind of person that I can't decide what to do. I don't know what to do about anything. So, I just let it be. And, I have always","and then it's like, if I hadn't been born, I'd have been here with them... or maybe not, but if I had been born, then I'd be here. It's","a young girl on the street. She had a baby. I had an accident, and she had to take me home. She gave me a bottle and gave me milk. She went into the b","and that's why I was thinking I was gonna have a little talk with your daddy about this. But, I can't. I don't know what to say to him. I mean, what","it's like I was trying to say, it's like I just want to give up, I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I just want everything to end. I just","and I'm going to go home. I'm going home. I have to go home to my room. It's not fair. I just want to go home, I want to go to bed","and there was an old lady with a very ugly face, and the guy who was in my room was having sex with her. And then he came over and I was like, 'Hey, y","what I have in mind is...I had a dream...about someone, you know, like a man...that was in a prison...and I saw the prison...and a man in a prison","you know what?... I think I want a gun.... you know, just so I could shoot them up, but I guess I'm not brave enough, so I'd just have to go to","and what was in it was a very sweet drink, and then he, the guy, that guy that he's got in there, he's got a big sword, and he's like, '","the guy, the man with the gun in the corner there...well, I mean I think he's an actor or something, cause I don't think he's really a cop. Cause I me","I don't know, I don't know what I think about it...I'm gonna have to go back to school, I'm gonna have...I don't wanna go back to high school...","I'm going to have to get another job, I have to. I was thinking about this before. I had a job a while ago, a real good job. I was the only one that","I'm wondering what's the best way to make money...what is it? Well, there's the real estate deal...I've got a friend in San Diego and he's got an apar","and you can do this, like, you can do it, you can have that, you can, you can even get into the city, get the city. That would be a real problem,","I'm not going to be here tomorrow morning to tell them they've got to do this or that, but you know, there's a lot of people that will come in, you kn","what it's really like is that you have to have the power to change, to be able to do things, to get things done, to be successful. I think we need tha","and they're looking at this, and the whole thing is just like an exclamation point, and then the exclamation point is on the other end of the page, an","The world is a beautiful place. I mean the way I see it. I have no idea what the real world is like. I'm just making it up. But it's a beautiful place","it's a good thing that you know that people are not always as they seem to be. Because, you know, you know that there are people who are just horrible","so I don't think the world has ended yet. And I'm just going to go on doing what I've always done... and I don't know how long that is going to contin","and I'm not really sure, I've been thinking about that a lot, and I don't think that there's really that much of a difference in a way, you know, it's","so they're... they're not. I just don't know how. And so then the second thing is, you know, we don't have these little things that are going around..","and then we know we have to do something to save us. We can't live like this. We can only do something to stop it. And when we do something, then the ","I am lying here, and my heart is beating hard and fast and I can't help but notice it. And I can't get it to stop beating, and it's so loud and I can","there's the... there's the sort of the feeling of having something important to do. Not knowing what. You know? It's a feeling that you have, and you ","I wonder if that's what they call a 'demon'? I don't think they exist in our universe. And it's not some other universe. But if you're trapped in anot","the images are of some of the things I do not think of. They are the things which are the most frightening. These images are of the most frightening t","and it's a bit of a struggle to get it going, isn't it? That's what's going on. And I think the mind does a lot of that, doesn't it? I","and I don't know whether that's what I have to do, or whether it's just a question of a different view of it. It's a question of looking at it from th","I can't be thinking about what I was thinking about. I can't do that. So I can't say what I'm thinking about now, because I'm not thinking about it. S","I am always at the beach. I have been to the beach all the time. It is not an extraordinary thing for me to be at the beach, it is so ordinary. I have","and the things I say when I'm in a state of meditation are words that have nothing to do with the state of my thinking at that time. And the thoughts ","I'm remembering this woman, who was so beautiful, and I remember this woman who was so ugly, and I've been thinking about this, and I think that the b","I'm not very good at it, because I have no experience with it, but I'm also not very good because I feel a bit foolish doing it. But it's just a feeli","the truth of it is that, when you've lived enough, there's really nothing new under the sun. Nothing new to see, nothing new to feel, nothing new to s","it's been a long time since I thought about my mother, since I saw her, since I talked to her. I've not talked to my father in a long time. It's been ","I see this tree... I was looking at the leaves and they were all different shapes... the leaves were all different sizes... it was a beautiful tree...","the child was in the hospital, and that was how I got it, but I couldn't have it if the child wasn't in the hospital... it was a shock... I'm going to","so then the next thing you'll do, you'll look for a little hole or something, and you'll get the damn thing out. Then it'll be okay. Okay, here it is.","I'm looking at a wall. I'm looking around. I'm looking. I'm feeling dizzy. I feel dizzy. I'm having a dizziness. I'm in my room, in my","I've seen a few of those, you know. I've seen them up close and personal, if you will. I've been there. I've worked in the same area, and you know","And there is something to that, to the whole thing, yeah. So, I don't know, you know, we're all just trying to survive, you know? Yeah. I mean,","and you know that's what's been bothering me for a long time is just the whole idea of that kind of stuff. And I guess, you know, the thing about the ","we're having an issue. You can't be honest, you're not being honest with me. Because the only reason you're telling me is because you're not going to ","It's like that in the movies, like in those movies you have where they're like 'What if I get the car that just jumped the curb?' I don't know, I can'","I just want to talk about my parents, my family. My mother's an alcoholic. And, it's not that I want to talk, I just need to vent. It's not like I","and there was a huge white house in a very white neighborhood, and there was a man there, and I was, you know, I was living on the second floor, and h","it's a nice day. There was a big rainstorm the other day and it was beautiful. It was in the middle of the day and it just kept raining and kept raini","I got a little bit of a cold and a lot of the times, my throat just goes dry and I need to drink water. I'm always on my computer, I always have to dr","it's kind of a relief. I kind of like to be in a place where I don't have to worry. Where it's just me and the couch. I think, you know, there","[M]e and [C] have been together for about 14 years. He's like a brother. But it's really important to me to be able to spend time alone. I","and I had this experience once before where I had a friend's wedding, and we were at the wedding, and this friend of mine, we were all in a group and ","And then I've done a lot of things in my life. I was a mother, and I raised three children. I had a lot of good experiences. My parents raised me well","I was wondering what to do. I'm thinking of going to see if I can find a job here in the city. I would like to go to school, I would like for my child","I was at the bar at the airport, and I was trying to get a drink, and the bartender said to me, 'you've been drinking all night?' And I said, 'yeah,'","and when I think of the things I can do with this stuff, you know, like I was saying the other day, it's like the whole city is out of your hands, you","it was all the same, in the sense that we were all living on borrowed time. This idea, it's not new. It's the way the world is, but, and I'm not","the thing is, what was it, was there ever a time when the world was not there and everything just kind of began, and how do you get from there to here","And then I was just thinking about how the world was going to end. It could go to hell in a hand-basket. It could be the way it is, or it could be the","I think there is something that is almost like a medium. It's almost like there's something that is there that you can see when you have an open mind,","and that's how I'm going to be in this world. I'm going to live that life. And if I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time, or I'm going the wrong","there are people who are trying to build an alternative society, trying to create an alternative economic structure. And this has a very real impact o","my body is really really tired, but I have a lot of things to do, and a lot of thoughts, and it's very hard for me to think in order to work, but when","I have some ideas, which I will express, which I think will help me to get a job, or at least to get some sort of work, or something that is related t","I am the son of the one who has died in the war. I'm not an engineer. I'm a computer programmer and I have a lot of work experience, which is a great ","I have an interesting image of a girl being a model in a museum. She's being taken to the museum as an example of the culture. I've seen it many times","I don't want to see myself, I don't like my face, and it's not that I don't know myself, I know I am, that I know my face. That is the","I remember a time when I was in the car with my friends, and I was so terrified that I thought the car would explode, because it was old. It was old. ","you don't have to be an artist to do that, you have to have the ability to listen to the music, you know, to hear the music and to respond to that mus","and I see my friend. He's an artist, and he was working on a canvas at the time, and he's got this long black scarf around his neck and this huge hat,","I don't think I'm ready to go. I don't know that I am. But, you know, I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything. If you want"],["and so I'm thinking, maybe I'm just...you know, I think maybe I'm not so interested in it, you know?...maybe I'm not, you know, maybe I am","the reason why I don't have any kids is because I'm afraid. I don't want to be alone. And if I did have children, it would be like I would have to be ","the mother died when I was young. She was the only one. I just miss her, you know, but I miss her even more than my father, because he was always arou","you know you don't want to tell me your thoughts. And I don't want to hear them. That's what I think. You don't want me to hear them because you don't","I know. I've thought about it before, and I couldn't find anything, except that I'm a bad person, I'm not that kind of person. ...I'm a good person,","and then I thought about how, when I was in high school, I had this friend who was going to be my best friend for the rest of my life, and he was just","and then the thought comes and it's just there and it's like a little spark. And that's why I really like to write. I like writing. Because when I'm w","and the boy in the movie. That's funny, because that's a boy I knew when I was little. But I don't think it was the same one. Anyway, that's a good","[I]t's so funny because I was having these dreams, you know, where I'm on a horse and it's running around, you know and then I'm chasing a guy who's","and I am walking by the library and I'm walking to the library, and I'm going to the library and the library is here on campus. And I think I just wal","It's been a long time since I've had any sort of dreams, except for the ones that were really weird and bizarre like...when I was younger. The ones th","and my head ached a bit, but I don't know why... I'm still thinking about... I think about things like how... the weather is supposed to be... nice in","it's been a long time since I've had a good meal, I was thinking I should maybe go home. But that's not what I want to do, I want to go to my parents","I'm getting married to the most amazing man. I don't think I could ever love him more. It's been ten years. I didn't have children when we were younge","you know, I don't even know. I'm trying to think, like, what the hell am I doing with my life? You know, I have my life and you know, you know","I have always believed that it is good for us to have some kind of religion, for the very reason that religion, in a way, is like a form of psychology","but what you're really saying is that it's the way of life. That's a very good point, that's what you're trying to say, but if you don't have a little","[W]hat do you think of the idea that God is the ultimate source of everything and the whole of creation is an expression of his love? ... It's a very ","And now I know I could do something different and make a contribution and be more helpful to you than I have been in the past. I know that I could do ","I was thinking that I could take advantage of that... of that kind of energy to build some kind of a system that would be able to sort through the dat","And that's why it's not true, it's not. It's not true. I mean, I'm not really... you know, it's like my whole life has been about trying to","the mind is the space that has been occupied by the brain and the body. The mind is what you think is your mind. The brain is not the mind. The body i","[My]self as a system. So I have this sense of my body, which is a collection of cells, molecules and particles. I have this feeling of being a body, I","[W]ell I think this is the part of the brain where the most important functions are not represented. I think what happens is that you have a general a","and the more you do this, the more you think, the more this whole thing changes, this is happening at the level of your brain, your brain, it's a huge","a feeling of being inside something. It feels like I am being swallowed. And yet I feel like I am growing, like the dimensions of the body are expandi","the experience of a time, of a state. We're moving in time. We're living in time. So time is what's happening, it's the ground of what's happening. Ti","I'm thinking of the world, of the whole of existence. I'm seeing the world with a very broad perspective, and I'm able to look at it from the outside.","I have been in a position for a long time... it has been like a huge fog in my head, like an anesthetic... I'm going to make some sense of that... I h","I'm not quite sure if it was just a dream, a fantasy, or what...I had an image of a man with long hair and a beard who is a sort of guardian angel who","[thinking about] the moon, and the earth and the sky, the sky is black. I am on earth, I am in the center. There are two things here: the earth, and","now we're in the room ... we are in the room, now the room ... now we're going to go out of the room. The room, it's going to go away, the room","the old lady is in a bad shape, it seems. We are so far from the house. ...I'm so tired. I don't have enough strength to take this woman. ...the old","there's the other question. I'm still a little nervous. I think I'll just be... I don't know if I have to be... I feel like I'm here to find myself.","And I'm thinking about...the night of the robbery. I remember it so clearly. We were at the bar, just starting to have the drink, and I looked to the ","I can't tell you how beautiful you are. And you're beautiful. It was nice of you to call me. It's the only reason I'm here. I didn't know you. I","my name's Kate. I was a little girl, I was a princess. And then I was a mother. I was a mom. And then a grandmother, and now a great grandmother. So","[T]he person I've been seeing for the past two or three years who has been seeing a psychiatrist, he's an older man, and he's in a very advanced stage","and I had the feeling of, I was walking in my town, it was very dark, and I had the sensation of seeing the wall, I thought 'where am I going to stay ","I have this picture in my head of a river and a bridge and people and animals and buildings and it's just like the river goes on forever and all of th","that's the one thing I don't understand: why would they build a dam that high? And where's the money going to come from? Where's the money to build a ","And there are certain things that we can't do. For example, a man can't get married twice. He's already married once, he's married twice. But he can't","And I wonder how my children will be when they are grown up. They're just a year old. And I think about my daughter, I wonder what she'll be like. I d","the world is a hell for me. ...and I see there are no possibilities for the world to change. ...the world is in such a terrible condition. It's all go","And when I do it, it feels so right, and so much more, and so lovely, and it feels like it's a part of me, that I am the one that created it,","that's where it's gonna be, yeah, that's where it's going to be. You can't do anything about it. I guess I'll have to just move to where it is.","we're at the end of the year again, and I don't know where I'll be next year. I hope I don't stay here in the hospital. I really do. But I don","I was very sick a while back, and I was in a very dark state. It was a time of great loneliness, of feeling completely abandoned. I was very, very unh","[a]bout...about what happened this morning. I know that it was a dream. It was all too clear that it was only a dream. The...the...the...I don't","I remember now, my mother was ill, and I remember her being ill and lying on the floor and we had to move the bed or the sofa to make a space for her,","this is what happens to a person that has no family, and I know some of these people. I can see it happening. He has no one to help him in the home. T","a lot of people that I know, I don't know why I should believe them. I think maybe if it was not the war it would be something else, a natural disaste","I remember thinking that you were my dad. And then you said that I wasn't your son and I knew it was true. I thought you were my real dad and you were","and he was thinking about the time I was at home and I was telling him that I was going to the supermarket and I thought I'd be going to get some milk","and this is something I would like to do, this is something that I've been meaning to do for quite a while now. I have been meaning to get off the pho","I would like to put together a new story. I'm thinking about doing another book on the theme of the tree. That's the title I've been using for this se","a kind of idea of how to solve this thing, this equation. I can't remember how to solve it. Well, if you remember how to solve the equation, you don't","and so then it's... you can say it's a lot of... a lot of what's going on, you know, is this? This is the state of things that's the way I","if you look at a pattern of dots on a piece of paper, you can see that the dots are arranged in a pattern, and the pattern is a regular pattern, and y","there were 20 years ago I was at home in the bedroom of my apartment on campus, and my roommate was coming down to the basement to do something with t","this is a woman that we have here. You see this is the woman that we are here, and you see her, and you are wondering what is her problem. You see her","[A]re the same kinds of things you would think about when you have to give a speech? No, you wouldn't think about that. But the same kind of things yo","and that's what makes life so wonderful, right? It's a mixture, isn't it? It's like a color that is a mix of all the other colors. You know, you have","I'm going to start by saying something about the beginning, but also I don't know how to end it. The beginning was very hard for me and I feel I've lo","so, this is a little bit like, sort of, a thought diary, it's like an inner conversation, I guess, or something, just talking to yourself, but there's","and I thought it's like when I'm with my son, he's talking, and then I'm just, like, just kind of listening, and sometimes I'm, I'm not doing anything","[I have] a dog. The dog is running. It's in the garden. It's running with his head up. His head is up. He's running fast. And he's trying","there's a big difference between wanting to make it and wanting to make something, but then what we're making is what we're wanting. Like when you hav","it's not like that with me, because I don't go over and over it. I just... it's a little... it's just like a memory that I just... just kind of pops","I see these little bits of wood, little bits of stick. They look like little sticks. They're not sticks. They look a little like sticks. They are like","it was like something in my head was like a big computer, and it was working through all the information from my brain, like a computer, but it was al","and that is what's funny. I mean, there's something in there that says, 'you're on your way,' and I say to myself, 'I am on my way,' and that","And they say: 'In the morning you should make the bed, in the evening, you should make it.' I want to make a bed for a week or for two weeks, and then","I am a very, very busy person. I have to keep my eyes open. I am working on this paper. I have 10 or 12 chapters to write. This is the","and so it goes on for ages, you know. It's as if there's a tape recorder, which you cannot turn off, and so there's this kind of continuous recording,","I think we are going to find a way to make the world better. I think that I am going to do something to make the whole world better. Now, I'm thinking","my hand is resting on his hand. He says, 'You have a big family. How do you do it all?' and I say, 'I just have a good day,' and he says","I feel very... I don't know what this means... I'm having an experience of an experience. It's not happening... I'm just aware of it... There's a diff","I just made an image of my body that's standing in the middle of a street and a lot of people are looking at me...and I see their faces and I see thei","The computer is always on. I always use my computer. I have been using it for 18 years. It's been like that since the beginning of time. I have it in ","The 'light' is a kind of light. The light is a light that comes in and out of the body. It goes into the body, but is also reflected back out. It's a","I can't say for sure whether I'm dreaming, but I think I am. I'm not sure where I am or where I've been, but it's all very familiar and I feel very","I know there is something that has to happen for me to be free of these thoughts...and I think that I have to believe that what is going on is part of","I have a book that's a combination of a book and a memory. It's a book that I wrote in a trance, and I'm working on this book now in my waking state. ","you can see things coming apart, you can see the world falling apart, but you can't do anything about it because you're in the midst of it. You're in ","the day when you had to face me... I mean, it's so strange: the idea of meeting you in person, and at the same time... there are so many things that a","I'm sitting on my couch, and I'm trying to relax. I feel really bored. I think I'm not going to do anything. But I have this nagging feeling that I'm ","you have a problem here, I just feel it and it's an anxiety-problem, in a way. It's like an anxious feeling. Something's missing. You have to make som","it's like this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we're rushing towards it, and it's getting brighter and brighter, and I'm getting more a","and then he says, 'You are going to be the President.' And he's, he's doing something that looks like an astral projection or something. He's saying, ","I know my sister was talking about me, she's always been so interested in what I think about, and she always says she's so jealous. She's been jealous","I was born on July 30th, in 1958. I'm a very private person. I don't have any friends. I'm very lonely. I can't remember","I want to do something, but I don't know how. I have an idea for a book, but I never wrote one before. It's about the life and work of a very famous m","it's a very long way... I don't know if it's worth it. I was saying to my girlfriend... I can't marry her. I know it's the wrong thing, but I","the story of my life was just a long list of little failures, which in turn made me more and more ambitious, more and more successful. That's what I'm","and I have this feeling that I should write a book. I should write one of these things that people say should be written but never are. ... The things","the train to Berlin. I thought about Berlin. I think of the old city. I know the old city very well. The old city is the old city, and that was beauti","a child I saw, when I was little. I can't remember the name, or anything about her, except that she was very young. She was dressed all in white. She ","we have just been discussing the idea that the subject, in his unconscious, is not a being, but a name, and that he is therefore incapable of any real","it was a dream, not so long ago, when I was a child, I had been a boy. My father had gone out. The door was open. I wanted to get at something that","the general plan, the general idea of it, which had to be laid down at first, and then later, with the details, but never the idea itself, which is al","there are very few people who can be of any use in a world which is so full of troubles. They are very few in number, very few in influence, and they ","there is a part of the soul which is not a part of me. I am not a part, but rather the whole of the soul. The soul is the sum of all parts of the huma","I am trying to tell you something. I am trying to get in touch with you, my darling. I am speaking to you from my heart, I am speaking to you through ","and I shall say, if you want to know, 'What is a woman?' I shall say: a woman is an image of a man in his fullness. In the depths of this image","the child of a man and a woman, the child of God who has created all, the child who is the child of my love and of his love. I love you, I love you in","It's a fact that our world is becoming increasingly an interdependent world. And yet, we have the sense of independence, we have independence as indiv","in this world, I know that there are many people who are the opposite of what I am. But in my own world I do not know them, and therefore I do not fee","The experience of the infinite is the experience of the transcendent. To be infinite, one must be in excess of all things; one must have more than any","and the little boy that I was when I was a child. It was just before the age of ten. I had a little girl, a baby sister. And I remember it as very, ve","and I was so very unhappy that I had been born into a world so filled with violence. The world is a prison, a prison for us humans. If we did not have","I am aware of that. And I am also aware of that my existence is meaningless. And I ask myself, what is the meaning of life? I know that I will die. An","I feel this is all the fault of the people of the United States, for their thoughtless, callous, uncaring, and heedless policies... I feel a great des","I am aware of the whole of the earth as if I had become a point in the space, and from this point I see all the things that have happened to me, and a","the images I am seeing right now are the images that come up with the highest intensity. The ones that are present. In the midst of the present moment","I am thinking of the dark and the light. I am thinking of being a child and being a grown man, and being an old man. The light is what I need. I need ","And there were others, you know, those other people who were there. I could see them. I could sense their presence in a way that I couldn't see them. ","there is a tension between the 'I' and the 'other'. I am the 'I', and I am in a relationship with the 'other', and this relationship is very important","I am a machine, a machine with many parts that I'm trying to use as well as I can. I can think, I can talk. I can move my body in various ways. But","I think that, in this case, the difference between a person who's unconscious and a person who is conscious is that in a conscious person, the nervous","The time is like a wheel and you are moving through this time. It is an enormous wheel with no beginning and no end. You can look at it in many differ","I can hear the sea. ... I see a forest. ... I feel the sea. I am not sure of the location of the sea in relation to myself. I feel the forest in relat","I'm going to try to say something about what's going on in this part of the body, the stomach, in particular, and the nervous system. And the reason I","so I'm doing a lot of thinking about how you can get this information and make it more accessible, and also, how you can actually make it more efficie","I have some thoughts about my body and I can see that the body is not the body in the way that I have imagined it, so I think that's the way I perceiv","I think we were told that the computer will be the first of a class of devices to do what the mind is doing, not the mind itself. I think it's pretty ","what I was thinking, you know, a couple of weeks ago was, and this is just sort of a random thought, so you may want to take it out, but it was about ","And then they'll find you, they'll come to the surface, they'll try to put you down, and I know that, I know that... I know that that's what's going t","I was thinking about my wife and our son... I am worried about him. I wonder, does he know he is on drugs? I don't know... I was thinking about the pr","I have a couple of books and I keep them on a shelf that is out of the sun. It's the first time I've been out in the sun in a long time. The sun is","and then I would have to go back to school to make up the time I lost. And then there were things that I wasn't sure I ever did because I was in and o","a guy that I knew once. He was a real bad guy. He got into my house and I didn't even know it. I had a dog at the time and I had the dog in","[T]he point being that you could say it's all a matter of probability that that's not the real problem. If you really looked at it, I mean, you'd have","and the little girl on the balcony with the sun in her eyes and the little boy at the window with a bird in his hands. The little girl on the balcony ","the room was filled with noise, and the voices were yelling. And the voices were, and this is, I'm sure, just a reflection of the voices, were shoutin","we got into a big fight. I mean, I really hit her, but she got hurt really bad. We were fighting over something I did and then we hit and then she got","and she had to walk by and I saw her standing at the door and I thought she was going to leave and I just jumped in the bed and put my head over my pi","we had the same dream that night and that's how we met. We were both asleep and that was how we met, it's just, we never talk about it because we don'","I remember that in one of the episodes when we were talking about the car, that we were talking a lot about a woman that we didn't know and that she w","I can't get rid of this thought that I've been having, which is that I feel as if I were a ghost, and the whole family, they've made themselves into g","and I am having a bad day. I am in the midst of a terrible fight with my husband. It's really going bad, and I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdo","I am sitting here. I can't sleep. I want to sleep. It's been a long day. I'm tired and I need sleep, but I can't fall asleep. I'm lying","I've been thinking about the weather and what I should wear tonight. It's cold and I've got a sweater and a t-shirt and some pants. It's sort of cold ","I have to go. It's very early. I'm going to stay in bed. I have to get ready. It's a very early appointment, and it's very important. I don't","I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know how to go about it. What's going to happen to me? What's going to become of me? I don't","and then she said 'well, the other one went to bed, so I thought I should go to bed. But I couldn't, because I had so many things to do. So I got","I'll have to take my camera again and go to the old neighborhood, see the old house on the hill. I wonder where I've been hiding, since I've been gone","what am I thinking now? I'm thinking about the big green apple that we had last night. And the way the light looked when we were going to the movies. ","And what would you do if it came down to you and your brother and you had to kill each other? [laughter] No! No! I couldn't do it. I just can't do","and, the more, I remember that I am not an actor, that I am just an actor, who, sometimes, is just playing a role. Sometimes, I don't want to be a","I don't want to think about it. I don't have to think about the world. I'm not the world. The world is not me. If I think about the world, I might","and the fact that it's a small room and I don't have much to say. But you see how we're both sitting here. You see me sitting here in this room, you s","it is very important that you always look at the situation in a concrete way, and don't try to think about the concrete situation too much, because th","it's not like they are talking to me, because I don't even have to know that they are there to feel that there are people there. I don't know what the","and I am thinking about this woman who was here at the office, I think it was on Tuesday, that I know well, that I am always thinking about her. I am ","you know, the other day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he was talking about how his wife and he were having a discussion and he","so you're just as happy as you can be now. In that way you're perfect. And you don't have any more problems, I mean, any more problems because you're ","I've got to go somewhere, and I'm not going to take anything with me, so I'm going to have to be very careful about what I'm doing, because I'm not ta","I'm sure that's all true. I wish you could find out who it was that really killed your daughter. Maybe you'll never find out, but I wish you would try","and what if I had a dream that I was dying and somebody was coming to get me. I mean I couldn't let somebody come and get me because they would be com","and now I'm thinking about how I should have thought about this, if I were a man. I mean, I would have known, right off the bat, who the most importan","I'm going to call you tomorrow. I'll call you. I'll talk to you. We'll talk to each other. I'm going to think about you. We're going to think to","And I'm looking at a photograph of you, and you're smiling and I'm thinking how I wish I could talk to you now and say how much I love you. But I can'","[I] have the same thought. It's just so beautiful. [I] was thinking that we were all here together for some reason. We were all here for the same reas","I'd like to say, and this is very difficult, because it's very difficult to say, that I don't know what to say about it, because I don't believe that ","the feeling that we are going to go somewhere... [a]t 30... something, yes, 30 km per hour... 30 kilometers per hour, and that we are","I have a great many more images than words. And words are very much dependent on images. In other words, the process of thought is entirely dependent ","I don't know what I'd do, what I would do if I was to go into space, that's really a good question. And I don't know. I know that I have a","it's a question of a choice to make a statement, a choice to have an idea, a choice to keep on with it. ... It's a choice to do something, it's a choi","it's just that it's that's a little bit difficult because when it's really, it's really not a decision of the whole, it's a decision that you can do s","and I've got a headache, you know? And it's not from a particular cause; I don't know what it is, it's just, it's not my fault, I can't","I'm sitting here thinking about this whole thing. And the other thing, there are some other things that I'm thinking about in the same category, the w","we know that the state of mind of the individual, the level of consciousness of the individual is different in the case of a problem solving task and ","this is one of the ways I can get out of being in this body, the physical body... because the mind can always be... in the physical world, can it not?","And then I'm doing the thinking that I need to do to be able to figure out, I'm not really doing the thinking of the right kind of thinking to figure ","And it's all I have, right? And that's just... And I'm not really sure, you know, that's why I'm doing this, I don't know, but I'm","so, the fact is that the universe is a giant bubble. You know, that's why I'm sitting here, trying to explain it to you, because if I'm sitting in thi","It's a shame we don't have that anymore. We used to have something like that in the past, but we lost it. I'm sure we all have memories of times when ","it's so interesting and wonderful...the way things come together in my brain, and I have no idea how I do that. I mean, I'm very surprised about this.","what do you think of that? No. I'm going to have to get rid of that. No, I'm going to have to get rid of the whole thing. No, what I'm","It was my parents. They died, and I was just a little kid, and I had no idea, and I think the whole thing, you know, if they would have told me at the","I think the guy who wrote the book was a writer who knew what he was doing and had a clear idea of what he was talking about. I don't know whether tha","I think that when I was a boy, I was really a good boy, and my mother, who is very loving and affectionate, would just think that, 'Oh, this is my dau","I'm glad I got a chance to spend a couple of days in the country. It's just a way of relieving stress. I like to get out into nature, get into a littl","And, I can't believe you're married... I can't believe I've done that, married, you know... And that's one of the things that makes me think that I sh","and I have some children and a wife, and I think my life would be very boring if I were to sit around doing nothing all day. So I try to be a good hus","And I think it's not fair that I've been the victim of this. It's like you're always being taken advantage of when you're younger. You just sort of le","I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't feel very comfortable with this. I just don't think that I want to be here. I'm not enjoying it. I just feel","it's a little bit like when you're standing on a mountain or in the wilderness. You're really isolated, and you can see the whole landscape. You can s","we have these two things here, we have an ideal and we have the reality, so there's a gap between reality and ideal, so that gap is the problem, becau","I've been thinking about that [the need to tell our personal stories] and I realized, what we think is, 'I'll tell my story, you tell your story and i","I was looking for a woman that would give me an answer. But in fact, it was a woman who would give me a question that I could answer. And that's exact","And I had a very good idea. I had an idea that, well, maybe this could be used as a way to help children. Maybe this could be used in the classroom, a","I don't want to die. That's something I just had to say, but I don't think I'll ever say it. I mean, it's so easy to say it. You don","And I have a little bit of anxiety about, you know, having that thing that's going to happen, and how do you go about it, you know? Do you make it hap","and then we were living in London and I was thinking, 'What a lovely city this is. It's so beautiful.' And then you said, 'Oh, so beautiful. You know,","and then he (the father) asked me: 'When will you get back from school?' And I said: 'I'm coming home at four.' He said: 'Have you done your homework","a guy and his wife come into my house, and I go to the kitchen and turn the heat off, because we were talking about this guy and his son who came into","it is a wonderful world, but we are all part of it, we're all in it. But we are all different, we are all made up of different things, so we are not a","and he went into the house to pray, and he got up at the third hour of the night and he prayed to the Lord, and he went out and went around to the hou","and I've had the opportunity to think about that and talk about that, and I think that, well, I've learned a lot about myself and, you know, I've gott","and I said to myself, 'What is my reason for living?' And I thought, 'I don't know. I don't really know why I'm here.' I don't know why I","it's interesting how the mind works sometimes. Like for example, you can think, you can have a thought, and then it doesn't come into your head unless","I have this, this, this ... and this, and then I do this. And then this ... and I do this, and this, then I do that, and I do that ... and","I would like to think that he would have gone to sleep, I can't say. I would like to, but I know he didn't. I know he would have gotten up, gone to","the dog's tail is so long, I can't see his back end, his legs, the dog's back is hidden by the tail. And yet he's walking and I'm not surprised that","what would you like to do? You can go anywhere, see anything, do anything, go anywhere. I want to go somewhere and see something. I want to see the gr","I think I'm going to get up and go down to the beach. I can't sleep any more. I was up all night thinking about it. I'm not sure if I should go down","I think I have the money I need to finish the project, but I don't have the time. I'm so tired of living in this house, it's so old and run down. I","The most important thing I would say is that there is no such thing as a free lunch. In every way in which a person is living a life of a person, he i","I don't know. Maybe a thousand, maybe a million. It depends on what I mean by a man. Is it the whole human species or is it just individual persons? W","I think...I'm wondering...I think...do I need to...I think I'm wondering...do I need to get...I'm not sure what to do. ...Do I need to","the only way I know of to find out is to try, to try to understand. I guess I am like all of us. I think of what I do as a life-long endeavor, and","I'll go and have a look at that and see what I can find out about it. If it's going to be any good, and if I'm going to be able to find a use","And we had a discussion the other day about the people who are going to be involved with the program. And one thing I wanted to do was to have the peo","we're not going to get the opportunity to study this any more. We're not going to do that any more. Well, that's all well and good. The problem with i","I'm reading about the effect of the quality of the air, and how it's good for people to breathe outside, and then this thought occurs to me: is the qu","you know that feeling when you think about something, and then you're not sure if you're thinking about that thing at all. It's almost like a split se","the moment I have to turn away, I feel guilty; it's just too much, you know, and that's why I like the darkness, that's why I am so afraid of the ligh","I don't know, I think that maybe...I have...I don't know...maybe I had a dream like that last night, I remember having a dream like it. I remember...I","[sighs] [pause] What do you think about? [pause] I think about the man I loved so much in my life. [pause] Why do I love him? I","the pain... the pain of a part of my body that has been paralyzed, the pain of not being able to move... the pain that I felt when the whole body was ","I feel tired, and I feel that this body that I'm inside, I want to be outside it...I want to get rid of this body, I want my thoughts to be my thought","I see my hands. I see them holding a pen, I see them writing. I don't know if it's my pen or my body, I'm not sure if it's me holding the","I'm waiting for the phone to ring, I'm waiting for someone to call, I don't know why. I feel very uncomfortable, very tense. I'm waiting to hear somet","I feel like I am a little bit ashamed. I feel a little bit sorry for myself. But I feel a bit sorry for other people too, who are very important to me","I was thinking that it would be good to get some money in the bank, that is, to invest it. If I have no money I will have nothing, nothing. If I can g","I'm trying to get away from this thinking. I'm trying to focus on this...I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I'm thinking that I've got to come up wit","I'll go and do it tomorrow, when it's quieter, and not so tired. It's late now, and I'm not going to be able to think straight. I can't think straight","I see myself on the street. I'm standing on a street corner. There's a bunch of people around me. I'm at a street corner looking around. People are st","I'm walking through a field... And I can see a field up ahead, and I walk up and I'm in a field and I'm sitting on a fencepost. And there's a tree","it's funny because it's always in the middle of the night, I just want to go to bed, I'm so tired. But then I think, I've got to go to sleep or","I don't think I've ever had a real bad dream in my life. Not one. I used to think of it as bad, but it's never really been bad. And I don't","there were a lot of memories and I felt like I was trying to remember something. And then I remembered this one time, in junior high, a guy was walkin","[I was thinking of] [my] family and [how] much [I] love them. And [I] feel like I've let them down. I've just been so busy lately","[M]aybe I'll go home now, and I'll look at some more pictures from the trip. I don't really think I've done that much in terms of writing anything. I'","I'm thinking of my mother in France, and the last time I talked to her was about eight months ago. She's on her own now, and I haven't heard from her ","this morning I went to the supermarket and I got the milk and I had to get some butter and some cheese and a couple of eggs and I bought them. I also ","my friend was asking me how my day was going and I said, well it's a little busy. I'm trying to get my kids to get back to school. They were both supp","it's something I've been meaning to write, I don't know why. It's about this guy who was like, 'I'm going to try and get a job at this job center and","I've always felt a little like I was the little girl on the show, and it's kind of like a little bit of a curse that they're bringing in, you know, th","you know, I'm watching the news right now and I just heard this lady on the news who, her son has cancer. And the mother was telling me about how she ","and that's all I know about the incident and that's about all I could do for you, to be honest. That's all I could think about was my own survival. I ","and that's what I'm going to tell her. I'm going to be honest with her. And I'm going to say, you know, I'm sorry that it's come to this,","you know, the fact that they were making such a huge, big deal out of the fact that the Japanese were responsible for World War II, and I just thought","I'd have a lot more to say than that. The problem is, that if you're not prepared to stand there in the public square and say, 'We want to get rid of ","I was always a very private person and it's difficult for me to talk about it. I think that a lot of people feel that way. I don't think they can affo","you know, when I was a young person, I was married for a long time, to a wonderful woman who is now dead, and there were some things that we disagreed","and so I'm beginning to see that people, at least those whom we would like to have around us, are people who are not afraid of life, and don't have to","it was in the first month that we were married...he was not married, we were both working, he was working for the university, and I was working at a b","and it was about that time that I was going to find out that I was getting married. I met this girl, we became engaged and got married. I guess we had","I have a son of 30. He's a very successful businessman and he's very rich. I've always had a good relationship with him, but the last time we were tog","[I was in] a kind of hospital, but it was a regular hospital. And I think the most exciting thing that happened, I was in there with a girl who had be","I guess that was the problem, was that it was so ... we were so ... I mean, I was just so much younger and it was like ... I was so much younger than ","I don't think I really wanted to get married. I don't think I wanted to marry him. I don't even think I knew him that well, maybe I don't know. I thin","it was a very difficult year, I think, because the war was still going on... I remember we had a great number of friends who were killed... but... I d","And then I know, because it's like the thing, it's like that kind of thing that happens to me in dreams, where you're like a character in a play, and ","I know I'm just making it up. But that's what it's like. I don't think I could ever describe it to you, like I'm doing now, because it's not like","and I feel that there is a kind of relationship, a kinship between the mind and the body. The mind is not something that is separate and independent o","and then there's another place, where you can't find anything. And that place is this place I'm sitting in right now. And then I realized that it's no","And I feel that this is the second time in my life that I am actually facing my death and this is not my first time to face my death... I don't have a","I'm in bed. I'm going to go to sleep now. I'm dreaming of something, I think, but I'm not sure. I see a group of people, sitting on the ground","And we can't go there... If we do, we will lose control, the feeling of freedom, and then the whole world will disappear... And it's very hard to keep","there was this one guy that was like, this is the guy I could have married if you hadn't been in my way. And then he's gone off to be in the army, and","what about that. . . I wonder what they've done with that place. . . . I never knew that there was an orphanage in that town. I've always thought they","you're so young you think you're going to make it in the world but you can't you just don't understand what's going to happen to you or your children.","And then there were the stories and the people, and I remember one of the people was a guy and he was sitting in the back of the room and he was watch","a great many of them [the children] have been sick. And there's a great number of them have been run over by cars. But not one of them was hurt. And n","I'm going to the store tonight. I've got to get some things for dinner. I got to get a few things for the children. I've had a few things that have be","there's a lot of things that are going on inside you, there's a lot of stuff that you don't know, you know? You don't know what's going on, and you do","The people in the audience at the church were all...what do you say? Well, it's like, it's kind of like a congregation. You know? And there were, ther","it's so much better here in the clinic. I feel better here, because it's not a hospital. And they're not all these doctors and nurses. I like that, I ","the idea of a second child, well, I know the child of mine, my son, he's growing up, he's getting older, he's not in school any more. It's like","and then you are in the car. You are in the backseat. I don't know which seat. You are the driver. You are driving the car, and there is a girl in the","and I don't know, I don't really know what to say. I don't even really know if I have anything to say. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I don't have an","And I know how it is. I know, I know, what it is, what it's like, to be a person who's afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the dark,","a guy who was a football player and he had a kid and a woman and then they were both murdered in front of him and he was shot, and then they killed hi","And I can't remember exactly when I saw that. I saw this picture on the paper or whatever I mean I know you want to know, I can't I can't tell you exa","I think if I was really careful I would be careful and try to keep out of the things that they want us to do. I know I have to go to work and I know I","And then I think, 'Okay, well, the problem is not that I'm not going to sleep, I think, because the problem is that I'm going to sleep too much. I don","[T]his is one of the most interesting things that's happened to me... I have a daughter with a daughter. I don't have any other children. My daughter ","I can't get a good grasp of how to be a mother. I just want to be a good mother. It's a shame that I don't feel I have the capacity to do that.","we are at the moment, at the point where I can get out of here. It's like, I don't know how to express it. I could just be standing here and just like","and that is the reason why I am a teacher. Because I have been a student. Because I've been a student, because I've learned from others, and I have le","I feel a deep sadness and a deep longing for my parents...I've been looking back on that and thinking that I'd have been much better off had I never b","I think I'm a good person, and I love people. And I feel I have a lot of potential. I'm not sure I really know what it is. And I love to learn.","[I]f I'm the only one on a mountain and there's a storm, I don't have to worry about somebody else being on the mountain with me. If I'm a lone wolf","And it's like the person who's just been fired, who's going to have a hard time getting a new job. The person who's been in a car accident, and they'v","I'm going to talk about it to the guy who's gonna help me. And then I'm gonna, I'm going to, I'm not going to tell anybody else. That's the thing","I've been thinking about how much I have to do today, and what if I'm in this job and I get fired, and then what if I can't find another job, or I don","the 20th century and the 1970s and 1960s and I'm just going to take it from the beginning and say, 1930","you know, it's a great movie. I'd been looking forward to seeing it for a couple weeks. I'm a fan of the director. He's always been one of my favorite","I've never met you but I know you. I've met you before and I don't know who I've met but I know it's you and I'm so excited that I'm going to","and then I can't remember, like, my name. I'm like, 'Oh, what's my name again?' And then I say, 'I'm an author,' and then I think","[I think that] that's it, and then the [sister] and then you're [sister and] you're there, and then [it's] the whole story and you","I don't know who's gonna marry who. I mean, you can't have your ideal guy, if you're gonna get married. I don't know how you'd do that. It'd","I just sort of think of what I've written as this. I think, I don't think, I just thought of this. It's kind of a concept and this is where the story ","I was reading the book by M. I. Khazin 'A Year with God'. And the author writes about a group of believers who want to join the church. And it turned ","I've just been thinking about that one thing that's bothering me. It's been a problem in my life for 40 years, and I don't know how to fix it. It's","a white wall...a white wall with a few dark spots and a little black writing...a woman's face, her face has the same expression as mine, it's a mask. ","I was once very hungry, and I was sitting in a waiting room, and the door opened, and someone came in, and a moment later the door opened again, and a","I have an idea. I know, I have to get up. I don't have a notebook. I don't remember having it with me. But I'm sure I have it somewhere. I","the same kind of things... like the first one. They just pop up and you get them out. They don't just pop up at the top. They come up in different way","the other day we were talking about a poem that we had just read, and he said, 'the last thing in the poem was the first thing' and I said 'no, that's","I remember once at dinner with some friends in my house I was talking about the old days and someone said, you know, he said, you all looked just like","and you think I am not beautiful, do you? Because I don't have any breasts, it's a fact. That's what they tell me. And I say, 'oh, it's","And I think it would be a very good thing if there were some sort of a council of the people of the world, and that all these nations that have got so","I was thinking, like, about some of those things which I had in common with others. I mean, like, you know, we're all American, we're American citizen","the idea of the city in a sense is a collective identity. It's an image that people have of a place, and so it's not always true that the idea of a ci","that's the first thing that's come up. So, you see, we're all here. And now we're going to go back in time to find out what's happened, and then we","I'm still thinking about the dog and his legs, the little dog. His legs are like that. I know, because I can see them. You can see them when it's cold","I can see him at this very moment. I see him at the top of the stairs, I see him in his room. And then I see him lying on the bed. Then I see him","I had a thought that it might have something to do with the way in which he was being brought up. The kind of father he had. If he had a very bad fath","It's a game where you're like a big blob, and there's other blobs. And you go, 'Ouch.' But there's other ones, you know, that are not blobs,","it's not right. I'm just a little girl in a dress, and he's a giant. How can you make him understand that it's not right? How do you make a little gir","you don't see a difference in the way people get along... or don't get along... in the way things are done. It's not that different from what it used ","So, what's the point in going back to a place like this, like the Middle Ages? You're not going to come out any better than you were before. You're ju","And they're saying it's a pretty big deal, you know. Like, it's not like we're talking about, like, the Mafia or something, or like the army, but that","[It is] like I'm an alien from another galaxy and I'm walking around on the street and I see this person and I'm thinking, 'Wait a second, you're not ","a couple of people, my girlfriend and my wife, and, my friend, you know, in my neighborhood. And they're like, 'You know, I'm not gonna like this guy,","[about] ... I've had some really strange dreams about this ... you know? ... [the guy who's been] [he] was in my house ... and I think he was my broth","and the people...were sitting in the yard...and the wind was blowing the grass and I looked down the road at the lights in the houses. And they were a","I have to say something about my mother. I can't even say it in a book. I can talk about it to someone else, but not in a book, it would be too much.","I am feeling really, really, really alone, like I am trapped in a box. It feels like this whole world has been taken away from me. I'm just left with ","I remember I've done this before. When I was a child. I remember how I felt at the time. I was very afraid of what was going to happen to me. I rememb","you are still very close to me... you are in my mind... I know I could have done more... I have tried to reach you... I have thought of you so many ti","it's like we are here... in a place where nothing exists, or it's the other way around, a place where everything exists and we're not here. What's tha","I'm a little bit lonely, I think, because there isn't anybody with me. It's as if I'm in the middle of nowhere, I don't know where I am. I can","there was a girl, and she was beautiful, and she had red hair, and I wanted to kiss her, and I was afraid to do it. I wanted to do it, and I wasn","[I]n a dream, I was lying on my back in an elevator. The door was opening, and I was wondering who was there. A man and a woman appeared on the other ","it's not like I'm here today in order to go back to my childhood or something. I'm not like that. But it's not all that bad, it's just that I'm not","I'm going to bed. I've got to sleep for a while. I don't know if I'm awake or not, but I don't want to sleep anymore. I don't feel any","I'm thinking of a sentence, a sentence I read, I don't know when, and it goes like this: 'That's right! That's it!' I don't remember the rest.","And then I'm going to do something. Something I think is right. It's like this. I want to say, I want to say that. It's not an excuse. I'm saying","it's something about the way the light changes when you look down, through the branches. And I always wondered what it is that makes a person, you kno","and now I'm thinking of a story I used to tell, the one where the little boy comes home from school and he's a little bit wet and the teacher has told","and then we just sit there, we just sit and look at it. You don't know if it's a fish or a whale. The fish has a big round head, and the whale has","we've got to find a way out. We've got to get away from here. If they find me I'm done for. I think they're all around us. I think there's a","I've got to go see him again, because he's really smart. He knows a lot of stuff about stuff that is really bad, but I don't know it. I can't read tha","And you know, you know, it's all been a joke. And if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't do it all again. And, I wouldn't","And this was the other day, as I was watching a football game, and I'm wondering what we would do if we didn't have to eat, and if we didn't die. I me","and that's it, that's the whole story! He didn't have a girlfriend at the time, he just met her, he didn't know anything about her, he was looking for","and then I'm in a new situation and I'm still trying to do something. And then I have a question that's not in the question, but I have to ask it. I'm","and I guess I've been thinking a lot lately about the kind of person I want to become and the kind of life I want to live and the kind of things I wan","and I'm kind of sad about that, because I have these two wonderful, wonderful kids... and I'm glad that my brother has them. I have two wonderful, won","I'd like to go to the theater. I have been wanting to go there for a while now, to see the musical that's playing. I'd really like to go see it, but I","I wonder, what are these thoughts that come to us? I think a lot about these things, and I'm not sure how much of it is conscious and how much is unco","And the other day, my sister came to my apartment. She had come from London with a very big suitcase, and I was very surprised and, at the same time, ","[I think] I've got a little problem here. I think I've got to find the right answer to this one. I'm trying to find the answer. I think it's because I","I don't think the subject of the book is that interesting. I wonder if you can find something else...if it was, how did I know that the subject wasn't","and then there's the next one that's a big thing: I just want to do something that's really big that's going to be something that I'll feel that I've ","and I think that I can't afford to be in a hurry... because there's some other things going on, right? I don't know, there's some kind of, um, I guess","but I don't think I have much of a choice, because I know what's gonna happen. And, I guess the choice is going to be, to be able to handle it if it h","and I think of the big picture. I think of all of it: the whole thing. But then, I get lost. I think about the big picture, but I'm still thinking abo","So I was thinking about the time I saw that video of the guy and the dogs, the dog's on fire and the guy is running away. And that's something that re","and it's always good to know when the end of the world is coming, because then we can make sure to go into a safer place. And I've always been a bit p","I'm not going to have to be so careful [as to what I do] now...[because] I've got a better grip on what I'm doing...I'm going to have a","and then when the woman saw what was going on, she was screaming and she was screaming that she's going to get the cops, and she's going to tell them ","I remember one day in a garage, I was taking off my car to have it inspected, and I had my head right here, my head down. I was getting the oil change","well, I guess what I'm saying is that it's important to make sure that the people in this world who are kind of more, you know, more than average, hav","and he was always making plans and this was just, like, one of his plans to, to go through, you know, this plan, this is one of the plans, you know...","I feel that if I go to this place and if I stay, it is going to be like I am going to be forced to make decisions in that place, and I am not even sur","I feel that I have no one to blame. The only person I can blame is myself. That's all. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm being irresponsible. I feel like my ","what I'd really like to do, and I hope to do it, is to keep that little baby that I was just talking about in that little hospital in the south, where","I've always been a little bit more in touch with my feelings than some other people. I suppose that I was raised to be more emotionally aware. I was a","I would love to be a single parent, and I think that, you know, if it were possible, I would get married, and I don't know if I would have a child rig","I guess my biggest fear is being in a relationship. I've always been in relationships and I guess it was when I first started to get out of them that ","the sun, the wind, the trees, the flowers, the people, the animals. The universe. That's my universe. I can't be without nature. I love it. I love the","and then the other day I was thinking about this woman that I knew and I just started to cry and it was the first time that I've ever cried around thi","I'm here to enjoy a relaxing day, and I think I'm doing well. I feel relaxed. I feel comfortable, and I feel happy. I'm having a wonderful day. I feel","I think that one of the biggest things that I like to do is to play video games, and that I spend a lot of time doing, I think, and that that's the on","I was going to say, this is an idea that you could use a lot of music or sound with it. So, I could see some music being played in the background, tha","[T]here were times when I would have a feeling come up in me of a certain color. Maybe I can't quite describe it, but it's like I'm getting some sort ","and then the train just stopped and I had this sensation that the train just kind of stopped, and I started to feel my feet moving, and then I kind of","I'm watching a video right now. I don't know which video. I'm looking for it in my head. I can't find it. I'm trying to find a memory of a video","I am the woman who is here in the chair. I am a person who is sitting and listening. I am not the thought that is going through my head. I am this per","my left foot is resting on the bed. I can move it and it feels as though there is no weight on it. And there is no sensation of the foot or any sensat","[my]... [my] mind is going... [my] eyes are closed... [my thoughts are]... [they] are... [my body is... my eyes... my body...","the most wonderful feeling of being there, of being present. I've never thought of it like that before, the feeling of being present, not in my mind, ","I feel tired. I've been working on my writing for so long that I feel my brain is fatiguing. I'm trying to relax. I'm going to stretch my legs and try","there are more than 2000 people here. I'm trying to imagine how many that is. If we were in a normal classroom, I would expect the numbers to be small","I'm not in a state where I can really focus on anything right now, I'm just thinking about a whole bunch of things at once. ... [I'm trying to] ... co","what I'm feeling right now. I'm thinking about you...I'm thinking about a girl, yeah, yeah, a girl that I'm thinking of. I think about her...she's pre","my foot feels kind of tired, and I think maybe I should just switch positions or something. Oh, it's because I'm sitting here so far away from the tab","I'm thinking of my son, he's three, and he's having some problems with his teeth. He's got a cavity in his tooth, he's got a filling in his other toot","I have to go to work today. I have to get dressed and brush my teeth. And I need to find a clean pair of shoes. I can't wear these ones anymore, they'","And he was... and he was really cute, and she... he was cute, and he was cute and she was cute... and I was really cute... and he... and he wanted to,","I've got to go, I'm sorry. I just can't wait. I've been waiting so long for this, and I know I'm not going to be able to come back to this","there's this guy that I want to talk to. He's this big black guy that I'm attracted to. You know how you don't really know you're attracted to someone","I'm always thinking about the future. You know, I'm not sure what I want. I want to do something with my life, but I'm not really sure what. And I alw","and the woman at the bar, what's her name? She's got this big, black, curly hair, and she's got a tattoo on her arm, and she smokes, and she","I feel like I'm looking at a TV screen, I don't know why. I just have this picture of a TV screen and it's a blue screen with a white border around it","I feel the little finger and the ring finger curling up in the palm, the ring finger like a ring that has been broken and curled up. The palm feels so","the little red-haired girl, I don't know who I am, who is it. I can't remember. I'm not even sure it's the same person I'm looking at in the mirror","I can't remember what I'm looking for, the picture I want to draw. Oh, the picture that I can't draw. There's a hole in it, in the middle of it.","and I'm gonna have to tell him I'm gonna be back at his place tonight and he says I'm not. I'm not going to get up there and tell him that because he ","I think I have to do something, I've gotta, I can't stand it, it's not fair! I'm going to be on the street, I'm gonna be in a motel,","And there was a whole world of people there. The one time we had come there was like that. I could remember, because it was at Christmas. The kids wer","the water was coming in faster and faster and we were being chased out, out. We had no idea what was happening, where we were going. And all the peopl","you don't know what it's like not to have a house. That's why we are all going to have houses. We'll all have houses. Even people who are in hospitals"],["I mean, you know, like you could be a doctor, but you could be an attorney, or, you know... you could be, like... well, like I say, if you like","[S]o that's one way to deal with it, so you don't have to deal with the other, and that's really what's going on in a lot of these cases. But","and I was just thinking about the new year, you know, and how the new year is going to start and I'm kind of worried about how my career's going to go","and they've been kind of stuck with some of the stuff that they're trying to do, trying to get it back online and then the other thing that has been k","and that's it. Okay, let's see, it's time for lunch now. I mean, we've been at this for over five hours. I mean it's just been so much fun","and then I was thinking that this is kind of funny, because I am actually thinking of you when I am talking to myself, so... so maybe there is a littl","And you think, well, it's an old-fashioned movie, you know? They've got, like, this, I dunno, I just don't know what I'm talking about right now","and there's something I've wanted to ask you, like, because I know you're thinking about it, because you just said you were thinking about the compute","you know, I think of people who are dying and that makes me a little bit nervous. I have a friend that died and it made me a little sad. So, it makes ","it's a little like the movies. There's the action and then the commercials and then the action. You see, in the movies, there's a lot of things that g","And I've been thinking, it's like, you know, if I'm the one who's in the position of power, I can do this and I can do that. But, I don","the truth of things is in the moment, I think, and the moment is a continuum of sorts and not really a static thing. So there's really no moment, and ","and it is very odd to be talking like this. And it is a little scary. I've always been a very good at controlling what I do, and now I am saying whate","this is a long journey, but it is a short journey. I don't know why this is true, but it feels true. There are a lot of things in my life, that have c","the entire experience of the present moment, right now. I think I would say that there is no experience at all that is more precious than the present ","there is this sense of being held down, and not being able to break out of it. It's not a prison, or anything like that, but just the feeling of being","and I'm going to get a job. And I'm going to make my own money. And I have this vision of this big, beautiful house that I can design and build with m","the next morning I woke up, and there were all kinds of bugs. And I couldn't get them off the wall and the floor. And they were crawling up my body. A","[my wife] and I have been working on the garden [of her] house... I've been working with it for a while, and I was hoping she would have a garden, and","[in the past, I thought] I would never be happy...and I know I'll never be happy, but that doesn't make me sad; it just means I'll keep looking for it","[The] one I have seen the most... is the one where a person goes through a door, and the door swings back and forth, and they have the thought, 'I'm g","I have to give him a present, he has to go to work, and I don't know what to get him. I am not really very close to him. I'm not sure whether he","and what do they want? They want me to do this. And then the next thing is to do that, and then the next, and then it's like, how do I do that?","this is how it's supposed to work. That's how I've been thinking about it, this thing we're doing with the company. This is how the company is suppose","the dream... I went to the dance, it's a party. I go and there's a guy that's going to the party and he's waiting at the door and he says, 'Well","and then I'm going to go up the stairs and open the door and... the door's going to be locked, I'll have to get a key and then go up there, and the ke","And they don't have to go. If they don't want to go. So maybe they could take a vacation. We could go to some other country. So they wouldn't have to ","I just can't stand these things... [sighing]... [quietly]... I hate the idea of them. I hate them. I can't get them out of my mind.","And I thought of my grandfather who was also a doctor in the war, and then I thought, my grandfather had to have gone through more than I've done. I c","I don't know why it happened. I guess it was a very cold day. I was very cold. I guess I was alone. I guess my husband died. I guess there was a big","and that's when I got this idea. I've been thinking about that. What if I could, you know, take the top of my head, put it on an animal? What if I","you know, that's an interesting thing... I don't know how it works, but I don't think I'm going to do this again, because I can't think of any reason ","[The researcher] is a lot more of a sort of a [giggles] a sort of... a kind of... an animal lover, but then she's a... she's a vegetarian","and then he had his arm around my waist and he was whispering, 'It's going to be okay. It's going to work out. I'm not going to make a mistake.' And","a feeling of being somewhere else, of not really existing, of being something else. That's the whole problem. If I can just feel the pain, just one se","a girl's voice, I can't understand what's happening, and there is a hand, a little hand. Oh, my, it's a little hand, and it's making me feel warm","[I have] got a headache. [And I'm] getting very nervous. I have to tell you [I'm] really tired. [And] I'm really hungry. I don't","I'm in a cave...in a cave. I'm in a cold cave. It's a cave that I have to find...I'm going to die here...I don't know how to","a dog in the bathtub. He was so happy. He had to have the tub. And he was trying to get out of the water, and his legs were being pulled out of the ba","I don't have any good answers. But I guess I would try to find out where it hurts more, then put the ice pack on it. And I would get more ice. I would","I know the other girl, she's in the choir, the little one, that one. She's always very serious and a bit mean to me. We're in the same choir. She's","I am in the forest. The trees are so tall and dark. It's so quiet. I'm in my bedroom, in bed, and I can hear a lot of things, all at once","I am on an island, surrounded by water. I am looking around, looking at the sea. I am lying on the sand, and I am looking out to the sea. There is a b","[in a dream] I'm on a ship in a storm, and there's a cat on the mast. It's black and white with a red collar, and there are sails with red corners","the car will stop in the street and I'm going to walk home. I've got to walk home from the car, I can't wait. I'm so tired and I'm cold. I","I remember that, oh yes, that. The bus came. The bus comes around. It's coming around the corner now. I can see the bus coming around the corner, it's","this is the first time I've ever been here, you know what, I'm going to tell you what I see, because I'm going to go back and get a better view of thi","I have some words, they come, then the words become pictures, the words turn into pictures, they go, they are gone. Now I have something here, I know ","there's a...a...a...boy and a...a girl and a...and a dog and a...it's in a...in a...a meadow or something and...the boy","I know I'm not gonna make it. I know I'm gonna die. I can't live without my old man, you know. I'll always remember him. I remember him. He was","a kind of image of a person's life. It's like a picture. It's the whole picture. All the things in your life, you know, that's what the picture is. An","it's as if something was written on the wall in the dark, something I don't know what, but I can see the letterforms. I don't know why, it's like I'm","and this is why they don't talk about it. They don't want to say anything. They just want to get it over with. And that's what I want. I want to get i","I wonder if she is in the water right now?... I wonder if she's in the water. Maybe she's in the water? I wonder if there's a boat. I wonder if...","and it was there that I thought of all the people, my friends that I don't have anymore, who I'm always thinking about. You know, who I miss the most.","And then I was going to go to the university of Arizona, to see my friend, my college friend, and I was going out to see him, and I told him about my ","and so we'll have a party...with the whole family...the whole family coming to our party...the whole school...we'll have a school party...at my house.","it's nice to get away from the world for a while. The world is so loud and all I want to do is just sit and do nothing. It's nice to do that. It's","what do I care about? My dad. I don't know him. I don't have a family. I don't care about my father. I'm sorry that I haven't seen him in","I have a plan... I have a thing I want to do. I want to take off with a girl, I don't know who it is. I want her to come. I don't","you have no idea what the world is like. ...you're just a girl in a small town, but we all have a world. It's like, you don't even know what it's","it's a new computer. It's an amazing thing to look at, a little bit of it. And I think it would be a good idea to buy it, but I can't do it","It's all so much easier when you just let it happen, and don't try to control it. But it's so hard not to, it's so easy to lose control of your own li","it's like the picture is coming to life, you can see all the colours and all the details, but it's still so bright. So bright. It's like a nightmare, ","I remember this one time I was just walking down the street. This man walks up to me, and he said, 'Hi, I'm Bill. I'm really looking for somebody who ","I'll take a shower, go to the gym, get a haircut, maybe go shopping, maybe not. I haven't decided yet. Then I'm going to bed. I'm really tired.","and I've never been there either. No, no. But I'm sure that I've been there. I've been in that store and I've been to the other store. I think I","I have to go to a conference in a week and I'm thinking about what to wear, I really need a dress, it's going to be a very formal event. I'm going to ","I'm on a beach and I'm on my phone and I'm not watching the waves. I'm watching my phone and the waves are coming up and I don't want to go to the wat","I think this is an interesting way of looking at it, that's why it's so good. That's why I wanted to do it. I want to get a lot more into it, a","you have to think of it like that. It's like the universe itself is like a game, and that all you're doing is playing with the game. I think that's it","I am thinking of my brother who's not here. He's in Germany and he's an American. I wonder if he's thinking of me as well. ... I'm thinking of my fami","and then it was like a bunch of people are running and they're all running through the grass. And I don't know what the hell this is about. It was lik","a tree is a tree, but a tree can be anything...it could be a tree and it could be a person...and it could be anything else that we would like it to be","and if you had a thing like that, but instead of being a house it was, like, a planet... and a lot of people had to be there because it's like, a big ","and it's a kind of a mystery and a puzzle because if you get out into the world and you have a very vivid imagination, that's one thing, and you can s","a certain person. And he's coming towards me and I'm running away, I'm running for my life...I'm running for my life, and he's coming and I'm trying t","I am not a dog. I am a cat. I am not a cat, I am an elephant. I am an eagle, I am a wolf. I am everything and nothing. I am","a lot of things go through your mind all the time. You don't pay attention to them, you don't think about them, you just move along with life and don'","it's a little bit strange because my mind is full of images and I cannot describe them. They are so strange that I do not know what it is. I cannot sa","it's a nice day...we can go to the park...I'm tired...I can't think anymore...I'm very tired...I'm afraid of it...I can imagine it...I","I remember the smell of the river. I think of the smell of the fish, of the smell in the river, of the fish in the water, of the taste of fish, the sm","and it's so easy to get stuck. If I'm doing something and I stop and start to think of something else, I'm always thinking, thinking of something else","And I can see this coming out in my eyes and I'm feeling the pressure on my forehead. But I just can't think of anything. It's a blank. And I think of","there's an old story... 'What's your favorite animal?' 'A wolf.' 'Why?' 'I don't know. I just want to kill it.' And he's got a rifle in","And then I think, well, if I was going to say, 'you are going to lose your job, I'd say you're a real moron, and I'd be right too...","we're going to talk about a book...I've been wanting to write. A book called...I can't remember its title but I know what it's about. It's about...it'","I'm not going to say it. I know. I know what you're going to think. I'm going to do it. I'm not going to do that. It's not for you","I was in the library. I was in a library. And I had a book and I was looking at it and I was thinking about something and I was trying to remember som","I've seen a lot of these guys, these guys that get in the car, and they're going, and they never make it home, and I know them. And they're always, yo","it's a funny thing because you know the way they tell you is that the one thing that's gonna happen and you know is the worst thing that could happen ","I have always been a little bit a bit afraid of that, but it's so hard to even put into words what it is. So it's kind of like you're sort of, you're","the other day, I was doing my taxes and I was thinking that my parents were going to be upset when they got their check because I was making a lot les","I'm just sitting here and I just want to... I want to write a book... I want it to be a best seller, you know, and then I'd be able to retire from my","I don't know. I've tried so hard to be a good person. And I think maybe I'm not, because I've lied so much, you know? And I've hurt so many","and then, after a few months, it started to take over, you know, it was very hard to, like, have a normal conversation about it. I would be like, oh y","I think I don't like you. You know what? You don't even have to like me. I'm going to have to accept that I can't change you. You can't change.","there are certain things that are just like, it doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself you'll never do it, that you'll never have an affair o","I was a student, a teacher at a Catholic high school. A Catholic school, it was a Catholic school. That was my job. I had a class that was always terr","and then she told me I couldn't have my own house, because I would be a bad girl, I don't know if you remember that or not. So I got mad because I did","the three of us, and I guess you are going to tell me that you don't think of us as a family. Well, if you do, then it's because you're not honest.","we'd been talking about that a lot at work. It was a question of just whether or not to try the whole thing with her. It was the first time in 15 year","I've been trying to think of the names of all the planets. And there's only so many I can remember. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars. Oh, Pluto! Now I've r","I mean, I've never been the type to just go, 'I like it. I love it. I want to do it.' But now I think I do. It's like it's","And then I'm sitting here on the bus, and we're in New Jersey, and there's this woman, and I think it was about her. She's like, you know, she's","I was looking at this and this. You know, there was this one time, there was a story, a long time ago, you know. I can't remember the story, but, I","I can't put my finger on it, but I feel that we're being led to think that the war is over. We're being led by a certain propaganda. It's a propaganda","[I'm] still sitting there in the car with all of this [the experience of the visit] in my mind, and I'm just thinking that, I don't know, I'm wonderin","a very strange thing, like a piece of information that I think is from my childhood, but I can't remember, it's very difficult to remember, and I have","this is an interesting story, what happened to me, the way I experienced things, how I'm looking at them now, after so many years. You know, in a sens","[t]he experience that I had last night, you see, which was the one that really seemed to be the key to the whole thing, was the dream that I had after","the first time I heard this was in the fall of 1978 when I was about 17 and I went to this place called the Nueva Esquina, which is in the","you know that they can't understand, this is an inner conversation. So you can't communicate. They don't know what they're saying. If they start talki","I have an image, a very, very, very strange image. There's a couple of images, actually, which are in a close relation to each other, and it's, it's q","[s]o I'm just thinking about this person, [the person] who came to me last night and said that she felt like a total loser and that she thought that s","I'm the kind of person who can't stop myself from doing something I started doing. I've never been a person who can do the things that other people do","this is the day I'm thinking about my friend. The thought is not very pleasant but I'm thinking of him. He was here for a while and he's the one who t","you know, I've thought about the thing, the whole thing of being a scientist, and I don't know. I'm really not sure what it is. I know what I don't wa","I think I'm going to get up and get dressed. It's time. And I'm going out the door to go to work. I just want to get out of here. And I think","we were talking about, I don't know if you were thinking about it, but I was thinking about the people on the plane. You know, I think about the peopl","so it's a pretty big jump, I think. And I don't know. I don't want to get into the argument of which is worse. I think there is a sort of argument tha","you know, I'm getting tired of this whole thing. I'm getting too old for this whole thing, and I'm getting into a certain routine and I'm not really s","what is happening is that they are basically like a giant computer, but they're not like a computer that has the ability to run a program, that is to ","I'm trying to figure out... what if... what if the question was: is there a pattern of information that might lead you to believe that there are, you ","[19:35] I wonder if there is any reason that we would say that there is anything out there. If there was nothing out there, we would think we would be","I want to say something about the relation between mind and brain, because it seems to me that it is an important one and not at all understood. I hav","and I have the idea that I can prove it... by constructing a sequence of arguments... by means of which I can derive... a conclusion. I have a kind of","I am sitting in my office, the light is on. I am listening to some radio station. And I'm thinking about it. I am thinking about it and thinking about","what? ... I'm going to find out. I've already written it down. So I have to have a look at my notes. Well, let's see. Let's see. What I","And it's like this: there is this thing and there is this other thing and this thing is related to that thing, but in a very subtle way. I am always t","[I am] working on a paper that's been stuck in my mind for a while, and I've been trying to come up with a way of organizing it so that I can actually","and we're all here, and I'm in this room, and I feel like this, and I don't know, it seems like a lot of my life I've spent on the outside,","And I have been reading this book on the history of science and it says that, in order to learn something new, one has to look at what has been learne","So it was always kind of, a lot of people had to be made happy by this, by the fact that this was a new book that they had read. I was very pleased to","I know that I have to remember, and I don't want to forget, and I'm sure that I'm not alone in thinking about this. And I wonder if I can ever forget.","I'm in the car. And I'm driving. I can't tell you what I'm driving for, but I feel like I'm going to a party. There's a party, and I","The main thing I'm thinking about is this book, I'm still working on it, and I know I'm going to get to the part about the two guys. I know exactly wh","I'm looking at the same place as you are, the same place we're looking at, that we've looked at a lot. It's interesting that it's almost like we're lo","I want to go to the museum of art. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go there. And I'm going to write this. I'm doing it. I","The word 'tree'. It's not a tree, it's a tree, but there's a lot of wood in the tree. A lot of wood. That's what a tree is, isn","I'm at the pool. I'm looking for a magazine. I'm not sure I'm at a pool. I may be at the store, I don't know. I'm wearing my blue","the truth of the matter is that when I am in a hurry and in a rush, that is when I do things wrong, because I have a lot of thoughts and my mind is ve","and there is no one that I am interested in talking to. I just want to sit here in a quiet place with the sun, and be in a quiet atmosphere. I don't k","and you have to let him do that... he's getting over a lot of the things that he's been through... and he needs to do that. He'll be able to do things","I wonder, do I have to talk to this person to get out of the house, or can I just walk by and then it's not a problem, that I'm just not going to go","And I think I want to go to a class that's about creative writing, and it's an hour long and it's pretty much like, and the instructor says, you know,","I'm saying you're like a tree that grows, and you have these different branches... and you have all these different people that you interact with, but","And if we know how we want to change, it's really more about what we want to become, the type of person we want to be, as opposed to a specific thing ","it's kind of hard for me to sort out because my life's so fragmented. Like I have one life, but it's so fragmented because it's not like I really have","the sun is rising. I think it is just a little bit before 3 in the afternoon. It's late afternoon. The sun is rising and it's very bright. I'm trying ","I wonder what it's like to be a fly in the eye of a hurricane...that's a great question. I wonder if it's more like being in a tornado than a hurrican","I'll be happy when I see my wife... I don't even know where I'm going. I don't know where I want to go. I just want to be with my wife, but","this is a poem I wrote yesterday. It's about how when you're going through something, you never know how long it will take, how long it'll be, but you","I don't know why it's so hard to let go. I've tried so hard not to hold on, and yet here I am. I don't even know where I am or what I","the light in the room was very dim and there were shadows on the walls... I was on a hillside, with a river in front of me and on my right a huge moun","And I'm just going to keep on going like this. I don't know, I don't really know what I'm doing. It doesn't make sense. I know. I know it doesn","you know, it's kind of a weird thing, you know. But it's also like, I know it's weird, and I think it's weird. It's like the whole thing is","I want to get out of here and I want to get away from this place. I want to go someplace quiet where nobody can find me. I don't care where. Just get ","and I feel like it's so exciting to have a relationship that's just like you know, we don't have to wait for each other all the time, to have a life t","I remember the first time I saw that movie, and my sister and I were driving home from a friend's house after she and her husband got divorced and she","I can't be bothered to get the job. It's not that I'm not interested. I just can't get into it. I don't feel like getting out of bed and going to work","and then when I started to do my first job, the job that I thought I was going to get, which was a waitress, and the only thing I could do was just se","I went to the store, and I was looking at these like the bread, and I thought I'm going to eat a hamburger tonight. It was like a good burger, the kin","this is interesting. The person who's got the car is driving in the same car as the person that the person who's driving the car is in the car with. T","and now I'm thinking of the wedding and I'm just thinking of my parents getting married and the first time I was married when I was a kid, and how fun","and you're looking at the ceiling, and you see a woman on a TV show and she's the same color as you. And you're trying to think, 'What color is that?'","I just saw an old friend in the park the other day, and I was really surprised. I saw a guy on a bike and I thought, 'Oh, that must be him,' you know","I feel like I'm getting to know the people in my life better, and they're getting to know me better, and it's just nice to be around them and just be ","what are they for? ...that's something I don't understand about a lot of things in life. I'm not sure what I want to be, what I want from my life, or ","the real meaning of what I'm saying to myself. And that's why I feel so bad. So, this whole concept is really, like, I guess the way I perceive the wo","I'm going to do a lot of the things in life that I've always wanted to do. Like... I want to be able to go to the United States... I don't know how...","we have to work with the numbers that we get. We can't change the numbers, but we can use the numbers and we have to use them. And then, then we can m","the relationship between the mind and the body, and what you might call the relationship between the mental and the physical world, is that the mental","I am going to think of an animal, but first I am going to describe a plant. It's a tree, and I am thinking of an apple tree. It has fruit. The leaves ","I was talking with somebody in the other room, and I thought I was talking to you, and I was talking about the way you talk, and I think you're very g","and I'm wondering if you'll have a chance to do some of those things, like get a job, or a job, and get married, or something like that. You know, the","I was thinking of that one time when I was at a restaurant and the waitress came up to me with a glass of water and said, 'Do you want to put somethin","I am getting ready to get up, I am getting ready for my nap. I'm trying to get ready for my lunch break and I just want to sit here for a while. I don","and this is what I am, this is what's been happening in my mind. I was going to tell you about that. I was about to tell you that when I woke up today","And I thought of a house that's empty in the winter, and I was thinking that's what it feels like to be alone in this room. Because it's cold, and the","I don't know. I don't know what to do. I want to go home. I have to stay here until the last minute. I have the meeting at the last minute and it's","I'm going to the store today. I need to go to the store. I'm going to go to Walgreens. I need milk. I need eggs. I need yogurt. I need bread","I think there's a lot of people like that. There's a lot. I mean, a lot. Yeah, yeah, a lot of them. There's people that I know who, I","the woman that you... you know, you have to be careful that you don't forget her. Don't forget what she's doing. The woman you have to make sure you d","you know, it's like I don't even have a clue what to do next. I can't even find any way to say the next thing I want to say. I know what I want","I don't have any time for these little things, but I think there's something good about them. They're interesting. They're kind of like... well, I don","I'm on the phone with a guy I met at the gym. He said he wanted to talk about getting married and he's like, 'You think we can do that? We're not even","you know what I mean by this: when I think of you, and I have the idea of you being here, I don't really want you to be here. You know? And it's","I feel the way I feel when I'm thinking about things... when I'm worried. When I'm... when I want to talk about things I have to talk about. I don't k","and then he just let it go and we were still in that way, and then I just started, I started to tell him that I was afraid, I was afraid he would leav","and that was the idea, that was the story of the last one. I thought about how I felt about it, and it was all going to come out, and that's where I'm","it's like this...there are different types of things that you can do. There's a lot of people who just have a lot of things going through their mind a","I'm in the shower. I'm not even sure if I'm still in the shower or if I'm just in the bathroom and I'm not thinking about the shower. It's all a bit","so we have to do a lot of talking, like you know, if we're going to do a program, and you know, like, you know, it's a lot of time, you","I know that, in my mind, I have these things that I would do if I could do what I want to do. I would do it in my mind because I know, if I tried","[s]eeing my friends again... I'm just in a rush to get to my friends... I have a meeting in the afternoon, so I have to get there earlier than I'd nor","the two of us are out in the forest together, and I don't even know why. I'm not sure, but I guess it's to take a picture of my best friend who is in","I have been thinking a lot about my past and my childhood. My father and I have a lot of differences. I feel a little bit better, but it's hard not to","I know what it's like, you know, to feel like that. I don't know whether to feel bad that you're in pain, or feel better that I have more courage. It'","so my experience of it is that the things that happen to me I don't necessarily like, and it's very hard to really sort of consciously let them go. I ","[s]omething like what happens when you're watching a film and something happens, and you think: Oh, I wonder what will happen next? It's a sense of th","I think about the day I was born. It's weird, I've never really thought about that much. I just knew that I existed and that I was alive, but I've nev","that I would have a girlfriend, and she would be a girl. And I would be a guy. And then they would go for a walk, and they would meet someone, and the","I don't have a good mind. I can't think. I can just remember things. I think I can think, but I can't remember if I think. It's all just random things","and I can't do anything about that. I'm going to have to go back and do it again. It's so frustrating. I have to go and do it, but it's so frustrating","I'm going to get back to my journal. I'm going to write something down. It's not that I don't know what to write, I just don't have the energy to do i","and if you are a child you are not sure how old you are and you are afraid of that, and the older you are the more sure you are and the more you feel ","it's like there is a way in which you could, could, you could, if you weren't so afraid of getting things wrong or, you know, if you didn't care, if y","and then you're sitting and you're looking at it and then you decide, 'well, I don't want to do that'. I mean, the one time I decided I wanted to do t","It's a very funny thing about this, isn't it? I'd never noticed before, but when I see a word I'd never heard before, it always makes me feel like I'm","you know, we were talking about the time, uh, you know, when you were on vacation and you were going to this island and I said 'Well, I'd like to see ","so I was talking to this guy at lunch today and we were talking about, you know, where I live, where he lives and I was trying to say something and I'","I see this really large circle that's drawn in the sand by the waves, and there are three little sticks poking up out of the sand. They're in differen","I'll start at the beginning, and then we'll go back and forth. And it'll be in this order: my life, my life. My life started when I was born. And I","you know, the way they got you into this, they got you to come to this, right. What was it, I don't remember, I can't remember, but they got you in","so I guess the answer's, what I say when I'm doing it, is, I'm not going to do it, because if I do it, it will make it harder, 'cause","I have to keep up with that, or it will fall apart and then I'll have to spend days, if not weeks, on top of it. I've got to be on it. I","I mean I guess I should go to the doctor and get the prescription filled out, and get the next one and all that sort of stuff, 'cause they said it's g","I have to be up early to get up there. It's a little early, but I'm going to go to bed early tonight. I got to go get my coat on because it's raining","and I just sort of got into this...sort of...and I sort of went around and around in my head a bit and I came up with this idea of, I think, and this ","I was sitting in a chair and I saw my daughter standing in a hallway and she was looking at me and she said, 'Mom, can I get up and go home?' and I sa","I can't think of any other name to call them. What else? I'll call them my 'nephews and nieces' [the speaker is 70 years old, and the","this morning I dreamed I was back in school, and this was a chemistry class. And I'm standing up, and it's my turn to give a lecture on this thing, an","and I have to get over it. It's like having to get over your first love, or your first big crush. It's that bad. It's so bad. I didn't even know","and if that's the case, then...then I could never marry anyone else. I mean, I could never get married. I don't know. I don't even want to. I don","and I could write to you and say, I'm really sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's not that I've done anything wrong. It's just, I guess","and I'm sitting at my desk... and I'm looking out the window... and I wonder why it's always raining. ... and I'm thinking I could probably fix it... ","I'm sitting here looking at the ceiling and thinking, you know, if you have a hole in the top of your house, you don't go down in the basement and pun","I'm a girl. I'm a little girl. I'm not a very good little girl, I don't like to go to bed, and I'm not supposed to go to sleep. I","the trees are really funny, they're moving backwards and they're not moving backwards, they're just kind of--I think they're moving forwards and backw","I see all those women down in the yard and then all of a sudden I'm a little girl, running, running, in this park and I see these men, but they're all","Oh, it's only a dream! And I've got a little boy in my dream. I'm making a doll for my little boy and my little girl. Oh, what a pretty little doll","I have a little girl. She's beautiful...She is. She is...She is so beautiful. She is so beautiful, and she's got a big fat, little red nose. Her hair","I don't think we got any of our clothes... we didn't get nothin'... I don't think the boy... I don't know why I don't... I think I have a","and then there's another one. It's a big one. It has a little, skinny, long neck. And a big, fat body. And it's all white. And it has a","the little old lady on the street, she always carries a big purse, and a big purse with a little gold key in it, and she puts her key in a little gold","I got this out of a book about a guy who goes to a magic show and he finds a doll and it comes to life and he turns it in the store. And it's a cat,","and she was wearing a skirt, a dark green one, and she had a blue jacket on, and she was singing this song and I didn't know the words to it and I was","my hair... my hair is black... the first time I got hair was when I was four years old, I think. I got my hair dyed, I was really young. It was the","and my heart and my throat and my neck was hurting and I couldn't move my hands and arms or anything, and my eyes couldn't move either, but I could st","it's the middle of the day. I'm still sitting here in a chair. I'm kind of leaning back in a chair and I can kind of feel the back of my neck and my h","a whole lot of this stuff comes out, it's funny...there's a little bit of it that you can't help but laugh...but I guess I laugh a little bit, you kno","a man on the street and then I don't know where he went... I have no idea what happened to him. He was on the street but I don't remember where he wen","And I was just thinking about all of the people that I know that are on drugs and they just do their stuff and then they're like, 'Oh, yeah,' and then","I've got a kid who's an addict...my brother is an addict...I was an addict...there's nothing I can't think about...I remember a time...I used to think","I don't want to go to the beach. I don't even want to go into the water. I'm thinking of what my friend's going to look like in a bikini. I don't","what am I saying? I've got to get myself together. I'm supposed to be having a good time tonight. I'm really supposed to be enjoying this. This is a b","so I'm thinking about my kids. I feel like I should get them an anniversary present or something...I think I've already done that. They've had it a mo","[The narrator] is a man who's had a lot of experience in the Army, and he's got a lot of respect for the men who've served in the military. He's not t","And I see it. It's just as it is. No, I'm not sure of it. I don't know it's true. But I think it's true that we've been very","I think I could live in a box. ... I don't think it would be as bad as I think I'd think it would be. I think I would adapt to that pretty fast. ...","I had this dream that I was walking down the street. I was very sick. I think I had a broken leg or something, but I don't really remember. I was walk","I was thinking of that day that my daughter came home from school and she was sick. It was the end of school year and she was crying that she was sick","I'm just glad he's going to be here tomorrow, and he's going on for the whole day. I'm really glad he's staying because I'm really worried about him b","and then they'd be in a better place. I remember I used to do that at church, you know, they'd do a bunch of singing and then they had to sing one mor","you know, when I was little, I remember once when I was on the way to visit a friend, and my dad, my mom was, had just died and she was out of a job","it is something like a, a, a black, black, black hole, and I'm going in and I can't come out. I can't get out, so I'm trapped there.","and then it got too big and it couldn't keep growing and it stopped growing. And then the first time it happened I was just thinking about it and I wa","and the air was all wrong, and it smelled like something, like a pool of water, like a dirty, old pool of water and there was this thing, like a dead ","I have some very weird thoughts today...I think about my dad when I'm having a thought like that...I don't know...I think it was a weird thought, you ","what was this like before? ... it's been really hard. ... I was talking to someone about my sister and my mother-in-law. ... they said I'd been so bad","and he was just doing it for me, you know, just giving me a good time, and I'm so glad because he's so good at that. And it just makes it so much more","I'm very concerned about the way that I am acting toward this situation. I was in a car accident the day before yesterday, so I have been in a car for","what's this? My life...that's my life. I am 65 years old now, and I'm going to die. I don't think that's a good thing to think.","And I think about things and I think I'm so glad that I have so much freedom...but then I think about how, you know, you can't really afford to have i","and what did they do? What do they do? ... what did they say to me? What do I think now? It's hard for me to say, 'I'm tired'. I mean","and it is like this: he is a young man, in his mid-twenties. He has had a certain amount of success in life, and he is a successful businessman, so he","the idea of the interview was to get some idea of the thoughts of the person that was interviewed, not the questions that were asked. I was thinking t","I don't think I would ever get back to the university, because I think I would get back to work, and I don't know what I would do there. I think I'd b","I was thinking about some of my friends and colleagues, and how we all got to know each other, and I thought of the friend that I've had the longest, ","and then I go to a conference here in Minneapolis, and it's a conference on social change in Africa, and it was on the first day I was on the stage, a","and then we're going to be doing a lot of travel. And I'm just thinking about the travel we did. The fact that it was so difficult and yet the people ","And that's what I'm worried about. If you have to take someone's place in your position and you're doing something that's not what they're doing, that","I'm talking to you about my life. So that you can say I was here, I was in this position, this situation. And I was thinking about how to get out of t","this is a kind of thought experiment. It's a kind of speculation about the nature of a universe, and a kind of investigation into the nature of realit","it's hard to think about things that are beyond what you are willing to say. Sometimes you are willing, sometimes you are not. But in order to learn a","I wonder if there are certain types of thought that are more effective for certain things than others. And that would suggest that there is a form of ","it's about the way things are perceived. They may seem to be real, but we are not going to perceive them as real. For example, you see a picture, and ","I am seeing a field. The sun is shining, but there is a stormy cloud in the sky. The field is composed of many fields, or at least different types of ","I was looking at an image of a cat with a bowl of food. And I was thinking, what do I mean? I know what the image is, but I don't know what the meanin","you don't know, but I don't know either. It's in the future, in the past or in the present. If something is important to you and you are concerned, yo","and then he had gone... And then she had come to the door and said 'what are you doing' and I'd said 'oh I was just going to look through the window'.","I am always getting a feeling of not being sure... what is going to happen. You see... it's like I'm having an experience of... not knowing, it's like","I remember when I was younger I went to a rock concert and they played a song and there was some guy standing in the background and I was just standin","we are all looking in the same direction, which is not where we are looking, that's not where we're looking. We are all looking to the same place that","we're going to meet some friends, so we're going to have to get a bus and get to the place where they're going to be. But, the thing is, I don't know","there was a bit of a sound. Then there was a silence. And then the sound was again. I was in the forest again. I don't know why. But I'm looking for s","we are the ones who are the problem. The people, the people are the problem....we are the problem, the people. We are the problem here....we are makin","so, and in the past, I didn't think like this, and the people didn't think this. There were wars and revolutions. There were no wars and revolutions, ","now I have no money, because I lost a job and my family is going to have to work. It's a very tough time. So I'm a very angry, and I don't understand","and so it was like, you know, they're not the same, right? They're not the same as, like, the same as us. But then, but then we have this,","and that's the reason for the old saying, if you don't like your neighbors, move... move! Because you're in a jungle. In a jungle, you're either a lio","a man, I think, said that when he came in here he was given a glass of something and he said the glass was filled with nothing but water and that he d","I want to see my father... and mother, too, but they live so far away... but, no, that's not important, you know... I think it's too bad. I had","so it's a really nice thing, the fact that my parents had, uh, my father had a very nice time with the war, and he was very proud of the war and I thi","I know, I know I can do it. I don't want to go, I know. I don't know how. I know I'm going to do it. But I'm afraid I","I've got a job that I'm going to quit. I've got two children. I've never worked so hard in my life. I've been working for eighteen years at a job that","I'm going to be doing this all day. I can't do it all day. This is going to take two days. I have to be out of here by tomorrow. I can only work","it's not like I'm an employee, I'm not getting paid for this. I don't have a boss to tell me what to do, and I don't even have a job title.","you know the people, you know the families, you know what's going on in the schools, and you know the police, and you've got some people that work wit","I think, I just came from work and I'm sitting here at home trying to get it together, and I need to get it together. I need to get my life together. ","so we'll see where we are, so that we can see where we go, we have a way of doing that. That's where the study is going, because it's going to be abou","you don't know how long you've been here. I can't really tell you. But it's a long time now. It's a long, long time. It's not only you that","... you don't know what you're doing. You can't really know what you were doing yesterday. I don't think it's possible for you to know what you did ye","I'm sitting in my chair, and my wife's standing behind me. She's in her white dress. She's a white dress, white, white, and then I'm saying something,","it's like it's not my thoughts that I'm saying, it's the thoughts of somebody else, and I can't decide whether it's my thoughts, it's not me that I'm ","it's like a little fisherman who has caught something in his net and doesn't know whether it's a fish or something else. That's what's in here, someth","there is the word 'Fen'...and there's the word 'Ced'...and the word 'B'...and then there's the word...ahem...the word 'U","and then I am sitting here in a little room, and I am thinking: the girl is so good-looking, and he is so good looking. I remember she was sitting on ","and the doorbell rang. It was just my brother, coming back to get me, he'd left the door unlocked and I had opened it. He came in and said: 'So you ha","my god, I'm an asshole, I'm such an asshole. You think that's enough to make you come over here to a stranger's house to have a drink?... [the host]","I've got a terrible feeling that I'm in the middle of the desert. A place where I can't find any water, where I can hear nothing, and no one's there. ","we went to a friend's house. We were talking about the way we'd been wandering around for so long and it made us think that we were living in the wron","I have just had a thought about an idea that was in my head. It's not something you can write down. But, I could tell you, if you were in the room and","the children I was teaching had so many problems with language and with reading. And, I don't know how much of a child is there, anyway. The child has","and you know I've got this idea and I think it's going to be really useful, if you've got a patient, like a chronic pain patient, who's been having a ","and then I thought I would like to have a friend to be in my life, like an older person or a child, and I thought this child could be me in another ti","and that's what you do, you know, if you don't have an outlet for it. And that's what happens, you know? ... you see, that's how I get to be","I have a daughter who's in her twenties. I've got three children. And I've seen them grow from children to adults. And there's this wonderful sense th","I think that people don't really understand that, because, you know, people don't have the ability to sit down and say, well, I don't think I'm gettin","and we're all going to be fine, we'll all be fine, you know what I mean. It's just that it's going to take some time to sort things out. But you know","I've been thinking of something that's been bothering me for a while. And the problem is, I don't really know how to express it. And the thing is, I'v","but I don't know what the answer is. I know it's a problem, but I don't know how to deal with it. I don't even know what is happening. I have to","I was a teacher at a school where students would go to different teachers depending on their individual needs. I did my best to meet my students where","[I]t's very sad that he is in a wheelchair. And I think that, even though he is a victim of a horrible accident and he's been injured very badly, I th","And I don't think it's because I'm not getting what you're trying to do here. I think it's that the idea of 'doing' is kind of foreign to me. And I","I wonder whether the Chinese people are much more interested in this kind of information, in this kind of psychology and technology and what they're d","there are people who, you know, make a living off of the stock market and they say, 'You know, you need to be well versed in economics if you want to ","the memory of a childhood dream or something like that. A very bad dream. I don't know, something like a movie, or the first episode of a movie. It wa","a little girl. I had a little girl. It was a funny story, I was the little girl, but my mother was also the little girl. We were playing. And there wa","the image of this large tree. And the sound of it blowing. I have been to the place where the tree is, I've walked with my mother in the evening, the ","[T]he fact of it all, it's all so horrible. It's so horrible. The fact that this was all going to happen, all of it, the way it did, and","I was born on the day when I got married, so I got married on the day of my birth, that was a long time ago, I think about it all the time, my marriag","I'll go to the university, to the university. I'll go for a while, I'm going to go to a university, and then I'll be a teacher in a school. I'll","the beginning of the year, my husband, with whom I was living, came to Paris and we lived for six months in Paris, in a hotel, and then he got a job a","that is what is going on today, here, here at the moment. It's like this, we are here, I am here in the same place where I was last week, where I was","I have a bad feeling. I feel the danger of a war. I think that war is inevitable in Europe. I'm not so sure about it, though. I think there must be a ","I want to see them again, my children, I want to see my daughter, to see them all again. I think my life, that I'm doing, I'm doing it all for them","and then the idea that, well, you know, why are we here? If I were to leave the country today and never come back, if I had the choice, I'd take the c","I am 75 years old. I can't live forever. I cannot live forever. How can you live forever? It is not possible. How can I live forever? You know, I","I am still working on the question of whether I will ever die. I know that I will die one day. I will not die tomorrow. I will die many years from now","I'm a realist and an optimist and a pessimist. It's a pity I'm not a pessimist, because if I had been a pessimist I wouldn't be here today.","I have a little kid at home, and I just can't think about anything, I'm just thinking about the kid. I'm thinking that I need to do something about it","and then I remember that I need to call my mother tonight, or my brother, to tell them that I'll be home on Saturday. I remember that it's a long trip","I am thinking of my mother-in-law. She is over 85, and I have seen her in the hospital a few times, but we don't have contact with her. I think that","And then I get into a state of, if I get out of a state of denial, then I get really depressed. I used to get out of denial with my father. He would t","the idea that it's just the way that it is, that the way the world is and that it's not gonna change. There's nothing we can do about it. So, why try ","and then, I was just a little kid. I was 4 or 5. And I was just out in the middle of the yard, and there was a neighbor kid and he was playing","I was talking about the things that we did. And you know, I'd like to have my time back. You know, I would like to have a lot of time back, because I ","I don't know why I'm sitting here. I feel like I'm doing something important. I have a feeling like I'm in the wrong place, but I don't know what I'm ","[T]hose who are just beginning to write, [they] don't want to take it too far, don't want it to be too hard. And when you've been at it","I'm watching it and the face of the person's [in the picture] is changing, and I don't know why. The person looks more like a woman now. And I think, ","a little while ago I was talking about a little child. It's a little girl. I was looking at a photograph of my mother-in-law and I said it looked a li","what is a woman, if not a woman's body? Well, I mean, what is a body, if it is not an identity? What is an identity if not a body? And what","I've never seen any other place like the place where I am right now. ...I think I'm a part of something. ...I have to go away. ...It's not me; it","the most important thing is to say what is, the present. And as we're looking at it, we see that it is, like everything, changing, like everything is ","the second, which is a very small one, is that a part of us has a very strong tendency to try to make order and to make a whole out of our experiences","The first part is the initial condition. I'm just not really sure. But then there are different levels. Like what I just said. There are different lev","and if you look back in your life you might say, well, I got to a point where I thought, this is what I wanted, and then, I pursued it, and then I got","and then I look and the object of my attention is gone, or there is a change, and I don't know. And the next moment I'm trying to do something, and I'","I'm thinking of the big question, about what life is about and why we exist. Why do we have these thoughts? It seems to me that the best answer I can ","there are so many ways of looking at it and that is very frustrating. It's frustrating for me to be looking at it from every possible perspective, bec","I have to leave the place, it's getting very dark. I need to leave this place, I don't want to be here. I'm in a hotel. I'm going out to walk","The problem with being able to have a life is that the problem with having a life is the problem of having a life, in a sense, because of the nature o","there's something about me and the city that seems to have been always the same and maybe that is because I know everything that has happened and that","my life was always very different from how I imagined it to be, so I had to invent it on the spot, in each moment. And it's the same way in the future","And now I am feeling a little bit better, more aware of the whole situation, not just of myself, but of the situation, my position in this situation, ","and it's all about the body, and the way it works, and how we interact with the world and each other, and how the world changes in relation to us, and","I feel like a monkey. I think of all the monkeys in the world. I think: What would monkeys do if they had a language? Would they be as intelligent as ","so the question arises, what is the basis of all this, what is at the root of it? What is it that is causing all these reactions in the mind? How did ","And the first word that comes to my mind is... well, it is very strange, I have just been thinking about an analogy of a human being, a person, a soul","[I]n the first place, I should say I am in fact, because I am the only one who knows my thoughts. And I am certain, for instance, that I will not have","the hand that is grasping that paper slips away and is no longer grasped. A hand that is not grasping is not grasped; it is a hand that is free and th","this is a feeling. I don't know whether it's good or bad. It's a feeling of emptiness, but it's not the same as when we feel nothing, when we feel tha","the child I've been dreaming about for a long time, who I've seen several times, but in different contexts. Sometimes he was a stranger, sometimes a f","I have a feeling I know you, don't I? I know you but I can't remember where I know you from. I can't find the link, but I know I know you.","I have no idea why. But there's a feeling of uneasiness in the room, an unpleasant feeling. The uneasiness comes from the other people in the room. I ","the way things were, in a way, before all this. When everything was the same, when I didn't think that I was different from anybody else, and I was ce","and I'm thinking that I'm doing something to please her. And I'm thinking I'm doing things in a certain way to make her happy. But, it's not in my int","[my] mouth, in this moment, I'm going to be like a robot. [I have a] plan, my plan to be happy. It's a plan to be as happy as","you know, I'm a lot like the guy that came out of the sea, Jesus Christ, I've been washed and I am a new creation, a new thing, I feel like I am","and I'm glad that I was able to be a father, and that I was a good one, but that there's also the question of what I would have done if I were the kin","I think I'm going to do something different now. I think I'm not going to go through this any more. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but that's wh","And we were so young, we were just kids. We didnโ€™t know anything, we just thought we were doing the right thing. I think I was 16 or 17 when it","I'm feeling it's more a process of getting through it, and then getting over it, than it is trying to make something out of it. I guess, with any grea","And I want to get into the physical sciences, but I've heard that, if you go into the physical sciences and you get a Ph.D., it's pretty hard to make ","[W]hatever you are experiencing, you're experiencing it because it's here. Now, you're not going to do anything about it, I don't think. What is the d","it's not that we haven't talked about it before; it's that it's never been brought up in the way it is being brought up now. ...it's not going to happ","so it's about that time where they say, 'hey, what's up?'. So I don't know how they would respond to that, but they would probably think that I had do","[it's] like, you know, just doing this, you know? You're going to think something, and it's going to come out, and you're going to say it. And","I was looking at my body. I think I want to have a drink. I don't really want to drink alcohol. I don't think I will go to the bar and I will just sit","it's been 27 years since my grandmother died, and it's 21 years since my mother died, so I'm 48. And it's been about 13 years","[the] more you use that space, you become aware that it exists. And then you have to decide for yourself, is it appropriate to speak? To be speaking i","the feeling of being watched. I remember. The feeling of being looked at, of having somebody looking at you and thinking about what you're doing. The ","It's interesting how the mind works, in that it can keep thinking about the same subject again and again, and if you're not careful, you get into a vi","we don't need it. That's why I was trying to work it out. But then you go to work on it again the next day. That's how I know. It's the same","I'm thinking of my dad's first birthday. My mom made him a cake with a picture of the world on it. She put the world on the cake, and I was too little","And that's the story of the whole day and everything. Everything is just in a time warp. It's all happening at once. It's happening to me, happening t","I was wondering about how the future is going to be like. I know, there'll be this stuff about climate change, and stuff like that, so there'll be all","you can't have anything but what's right for you...there's no...if you can't do it...there's always other things...the way you can be a good person..."],["I'm working on a research project on the use of cognitive restructuring for chronic pain management. The cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown t","I have a really vivid dream where I have a very nice relationship with someone. And then we get in an argument, and I think that the reason why this i","you know, this is the first time that I'm going to actually say out loud that I'm here, you know, for me, this is going to be a very, very interesting","the... the... the... how is the world?... how is everything, how is the... how am I?... I am well, I feel good, but I'm a little worried about","And then the problem is that there's always the next person, and we get stuck on the next person and then we're all kind of stuck, because we never re","I think this is the worst of all, because it's not just the same, it's not the same for me. It's not the same thing. It's the same thing, but I","The first is the one I'm going to put on. So that I have to take a very good look at it because I'm going to make some choices. So I'm going to look f","and then it's just like you're seeing it through the wrong end of the lens and everything is upside-down, it's like this is how you would see it if yo","you can see it, you can see the building, the building is there, it's just the shadow of the building is blocking it. And you can see in the middle of","I am trying to think of a word to describe the relationship of this painting to the other paintings in the room. I've seen them all now but I didn't s","there is an apple and an orange and a banana and a pear, and then I think, this is the same as the apple and the orange and the banana and the pear. T","a cat that jumps out of a window. A cat that jumps in a window. How a cat jumps out of window? It is in a room. It jumps out of the window. It is","a big bag of apples and bananas and pears, I think they're in this order, big bag of pears and apples and bananas, then the big bag of bananas, then a","[T]he first time I saw the sky, the sky was a different color than it is now. I don't remember what it was like, it was like something was happening, ","... ... ... ... The next morning I thought that the first time I had ever done this was about ten years ago. I was driving down the road on a Sunday a","it's a very hot day and I'm here, and it's just too hot to be here. And the car is in the shade and the back window is open and I can see out into","I'm wondering about my family. And I wonder if they are asleep. If I had an accident, or I hurt somebody, would they know? I wonder if I'm going to ge","and then I get really mad at myself, because I don't think I deserve it. I'm not sure how much I deserved it. And I think about that too. It was a mis","I was driving and then I started to drive on a road that I had driven a million times before and I got stuck in a traffic jam. And I was stuck in a ro","what's going on? I'm here and I'm thinking I'm here. I'm trying to think of something to do, but I'm stuck and I don't know why. I was going","I have a theory that I have come up with about why people seem to feel a kind of loneliness even though they have a lot of friends and all of that. Th","I'm just gonna have to go and get the book. ... I'm just gonna take my book, I've got to go, I can't do it here. ...I know what I'm","and I was a little nervous at first. I don't know why, but I was a little hesitant. It's a little hard, because you're trying to say what's going on i","this is a good place to be, to be here, to be in this room, to be with people like you, with people that I have met that are like me. I like people li","I have an old friend in the U.S. and he has been asking me for a year to come over and visit. I haven't been able to, because we haven't had enough ti","we have the same problem. I think it's because I'm always a little late. I never want to be early. But I'll always be late. I can't even get up in tim","you're an idiot, you're an asshole. You know, you're the idiot. You're an idiot. And I mean it. I think I'm going to give you a call at","[the phone is ringing] and I'm wondering what it is. I think it's my husband. No, I guess it's my mother. No, it can't be, he's already","And I said to the child, 'It's over,' and the child said to me, 'No,' and I said, 'No, it's over.' I don't know how he knows","I was thinking about how I can get home now, how long I've been here. ...I've been here five hours. ...I don't think I'll be able to do my paper tonig","I don't think so. I don't want to do this. I want to do that. It's like... I want to go and sit here in front of the... you know what,","I was thinking that you can't let some people just get away with this. I mean, if it's not illegal, then it's just a matter of what the police will do","And, uh, if they were to make it to the stage, and they had a few minutes, they'd be allowed to make an opening statement, you know, maybe ask some qu","The woman that I really really want to have for me. I love her, but she's just not good enough. She's not good enough to be with me, so I don't. It","we can be pretty sure that what we think of as the unconscious is in fact a conscious activity that we just don't get to see. Now that's not to say th","And they [the Russians] are doing this stuff. And we're getting really pissed off with them. Because they're doing stuff that's in a totally different","we were at the conference, and I said, 'Oh, my god, this is the most important thing, this is what I'm really interested in, and then we start to thin","it's a very, it's a very important thing, you know, to keep your mind healthy... to be able to think of new things, and to be able to process all the ","I am here, and I can talk about this, and I am a human being, and I have thoughts about myself, about what I want to do, what I am, my ideas, what","I'm here to say goodbye to him, I've come to tell him that I love him, I'll be leaving you, I love you, I can't love you any more, I want","and then I get out of the water, I get out, and then I start to think about my life, about all the people I know, and I start to remember all the peop","and then I think of when I was very young, when I was really a little baby, my father, who is still my father, I remember him saying to me, 'This is w","I had a dream the other night. It was very vivid. I was walking along a beach and saw a man who was really small. He looked like an old man but he had","and this is what I do when I'm writing a poem. I take a blank sheet of paper and I start out by thinking of something I want to say. Then I write down","you can't do it, you can't do anything with it, it's like a box with no lid, a box of ashes, and I'm going to throw them out, I don't","you know, like that's why I think I can do this, because I was the only one who could do it. But then I realized, well, that's why you were so scared ","I had a dream last night...I had a strange dream...I had this dream about me sitting on a beach...and a bunch of people around me...and I was sitting ","I've just noticed that I am sitting down at my desk and that I can't get up from my chair. I feel that I'm frozen, stuck. I've lost all my motor abili","the process of thought is like a movie: an image is set in motion and then another one appears, and so on, so that there is a succession of images. Th","now, we're in a park, and a tree is in front of us, and we're walking down a path, and we are passing through the leaves, and there's a beautiful soun","I had the impression, on the other hand, that this was not something that was going on in the environment. It was something that was happening within ","and I see the big room in the hall, and there are no people. But I'm afraid it's not just that, because there's a kind of dark cloud that's behind the","I'm sorry you're upset. It's like a great, big ball of water. It's so hard to see it, but I'm there. I can see it, and I'm sure","I had been in the shower, I think, and I was thinking of a person and it just kept going on in my mind, so I was thinking about him and then it just s","And the man who does not want to believe me has to believe in his own heart. The man who does not believe in the truth of the words I say, he believes","it's true what they say. You don't know anything, but you want to know. But what do you really know? ... You don't really know anything, do you? ... T","I'm getting old, I'm not as young as I used to be. I am not as young and active as I was, I have lost something. But I'm still young and alive,","I know there's a lot of things I'm not supposed to think about but I know I have to think about them if I'm to ever get any work done. I think that's ","and I was thinking, I know what it is, because it happened to me once. It was the first time I was alone with myself, you see, and it was so strange a","it's strange that in my own life, my own career, I have never, ever had to do anything creative, ever... [laughs]... never... never... but when I read","I'd be happy to hear how this all turns out for you. But I can tell you right now, I'd be disappointed if it were to go badly, but I'd be satisfied if","and I just know I'm going to die on this journey. It's like I've been dying all my life and it's like a sickness, but this sickness is worse. So it's ","I've never had sex. I'd like to. But I don't want it to be like this, with a lot of bullshit. I don't care about it so much, not for a","it's so nice to think of the past that way, so nonjudgmental and nonchalant, and without regret, and it's really sad and sadistic and depressing that ","I can't really...I'm not a very good...I'm a bad person...I don't want to hurt others. I don't really have a strong feeling about anything. I don't","I would like to be rich...I want to be rich. But I can't do it because I'm not a thief, I don't want to steal. So I've been thinking about how","and then I get the idea, well, I'm sure you know what it's like to be pregnant, to be walking around, and I think that's a bit of what I'm like.","I'm not very happy, I'm a little bit depressed. I have a little bit of a problem with my... my heart, I'm not sure exactly what, I'm... I'm in","I see a little girl...that's my daughter. She was seven years old. I remember her saying that she wanted to be an actress, and I wanted to be a mother","[I]t is very, very, very difficult to get this [heart] to stop, because if I lose control I'm going to die. But then I don't want to live anymore","I'll be glad to meet him, I think. I really don't care, and I wonder if you'd think it would be bad if you met him, but I've heard stories that he","I could almost hear the old one singing... I mean, I could almost... I think I'm going to die. I'm going to be dead. I'm going to have to give him the","I am looking for someone. I have to find him. I have found him, and I'm looking for him. I'm not sure I'm looking at him, though, because he's got","It is something like this: I am going to die. That is why I have done it. I have been thinking about it all along. I am going to die because I have do","I will take care of this. This is very important. This is the reason why I must take care. And the reason I must be so careful is because it is the on","and, you know, when I think, well, I was just thinking today, I've got to do this, I've gotta get the papers and make a note of it, I've had","I can see the same things that I can see at the same time. I can see the same thing I see when I am in a dream. But now the image is more vivid than t","I wonder, in my mind, is what you have just said. Do you think it is a good idea? No, that's a good question. Well, if you had asked me that,","that was my whole life, from the day I was born to today. I had an ideal. But that is no longer the case, now it's different. I'm in the middle of a","you know I don't really care much about them, you see, because if you were to get to know me, you'd see that I'm a pretty lonely person, and if I did ","there's this story about a guy who was a bit of a psychopath, he had a great mind, but it was not in the right place. So he had this great mind and th","and the things you tell me that I don't know about and the things that I tell you that you don't know that I do know. What is it that makes you feel t","I just wonder sometimes, why people seem to be more comfortable when they're talking to each other, when there's two of them and there's nothing to do","and it was going to be a beautiful day. I remember. I remember I had been in the middle of a meeting and we were just about to go out of the room, and","and I want to think of what happened. The first time I thought of it, I felt, and I was scared by it, that's why I never talked about it. It was this ","The difference between that and the way it is, in reality, is, for example, what you call 'love.' Love is something that is experienced when people ar","we were just like the rest of the world. I think that's where people go wrong. They just see how much the world has changed, and think that the change","I mean, we have no money. And then we have a lot of money. It's just a constant shifting. I don't know what's going to happen, when this will end. It","I was going to say 'that's a good point' - but that's not a point. It's just a feeling. It's like a feeling that you have in your heart. You know","the one I see now is just a momentary picture in my mind of a child I know, and I don't know who it is or what happened to him or if he's dead or aliv","there are still two other people who haven't had the chance to have a chance to give their response. I think that if we have the opportunity, we shoul","this is where it's been, and you can see that this is what it is. And I've had a chance to read about it. And there's a lot of interesting things. It'","there is no end. It's the way we're set up in our cells to go on and on and on. And the whole point is to use that in such a way that we can stay","the next time I get a bad mark, I'm gonna go down there and punch my teacher in the face. That's gonna teach me. I'll never do that again. I've never ","[The] 5th-grade class was going to have their own classroom. And this was going to happen in the next 10 years, 15 years, or 20 years","the first part of the book I've written is going to be a kind of introduction, like a catalog of what we know and what we don't know, and a kind of ch","[S]o the whole point of my talk is that I'm going to give you some basic tools for getting a grip on your mind. So what is your mind? Well, I'm going","I'm going to be a good student, and I want to be a research scientist, and I've got a whole bunch of reasons why I don't want to do that, and I guess ","and there's a big gap here that I don't think anyone has covered. I don't know why you would do it this way. I mean, if it was a new discovery, it wou","and then we got to the point where they're getting very, very interested in, and then they're like, 'Oh my gosh, if we didn't get any money, we just d","the sky's not so blue anymore. ... I've got my first date with a girl. ... The sun is shining today. ... The water's blue, like a blue sky. ... It's","I have a couple of ideas about how to get out of the woods, and I know I can probably do it with 8 hours' worth of daylight, and I just gotta, I gotta","so, we've got these two, that we just did, right? So, the two of them have had their own little moment here, right? We're just, you know, they're","the guy that I was talking to [at a party] ... I was talking to the guy that had a big [gym]. He was kind of a weird looking guy. He had kind of","and I'm sitting on the beach here and the tide's come in, you know. It's really beautiful, you know, in a way. There's a little bit of water that's st","and so, it's like the world is this, this big thing, and I'm standing on the edge of it and it's just like, it's just kind of like a big circle,","I was having an idea in my mind, that I'm going to run, I'm going to race. And I'm going up the stairs and then I'm running. And I just see the","my arm was moving and I didn't know why. I couldn't make sense of what was going on, I couldn't do anything, I was trapped inside myself. And then I f","we can't stop this thing that's happening to us. We can't stop the voices and the visions and the thoughts. We can do something about them, but we can","we could all be thinking, you know, about the same thing. ...I guess the thought is, we are all just one thought away from being free and you know, I ","I know that it is not true, but I keep thinking that, that's what I'm thinking... what do I think? I don't think. I'm just remembering something. Some","I am a child who was born to a mother who was pregnant with me for nine months, and then she gave birth to me. So, that was it. She had to do it. And","there's something in me. I think I have something that's going to happen. There's a person here, I can't see, but I can feel this, that, that this per","the birds were singing in the trees. They're singing so well... it was all a dream, wasn't it, and it's all gone now, gone away. All gone. And it's","and, what was that?... That? I don't know. I don't think it's there. There was something. Something, something, something. Something. I don't know wha","I know, I know, if you had the time to tell me that. I mean, it's the same as the last time, you know, the first time. The time I found you","I'm really hungry! I've got to go find something to eat. I think I'll go into that restaurant down the road, the one where they have the most interest","The person who died was a man. A man who had just recently died. A man from my village. I didn't know his name. The person who had been sitting on the","it was like, you know, the only way to survive is to not be conscious, to be unconscious. You know? I've always thought that, that was like a very wei","it's going to be an interesting game. I'm going to have a lot of fun. The thing that I'm really anxious about is that I'll be the only one who can und","I remember. My friend had a picture. I was 18. I don't know who gave it to me. I was very shy. I was a boy. I donโ€™t know.","I feel bad, because I know it was my fault, that I made some mistake. I don't know exactly which mistake. It's not really important. It's like I was d","but in any case, if a man were to die and not to be reincarnated, it seems to me that the soul is a thing that can't exist, but it is only the form","it's like this: there are some people who have always had a natural understanding of the universe. For some reason, they were able to penetrate the fu","I think that I have always been in a sort of dream state, in my childhood, when I was not asleep. I don't remember my early childhood, I don't have an","we're going to go up and we're going to run out of oxygen. That's one of the reasons you don't go to high altitudes and it's going to be like that, be","we have to make a decision...we have to decide if we are going to live or not...we have to get away from here. I think that there is some kind of life","this is where I am: I'm thinking of my wife's funeral, and of my own death. I can't die, I must go on, but I have to live. And it's","this is a bad joke, I know that it's a bad joke. ... I can't do anything with it, it's already dead, it's a dead joke, a bad joke. It","and in that moment I became an animal, and I have become a beast again. I am now a man again, I am no longer the beast, but the beast is inside me and","a girl with an arm raised in the air, the moon, a man with a stick, a girl with a bow and arrow, the girl with the bow and arrow looks into the moon, ","then I'm gonna take it, I'm gonna break it in two, I'm goin' to break it in half, and I'm gonna put it under there. And I'm goin","I would like to have a life with the man I love, that's why I'm here, to find the man I've loved for so long and to make him happy and to have a famil","I'm just... I'm just... how can I say this? I'm just feeling so sad about the fact that I had to leave my mom, and I can't go back to see her","this is my first time saying this, to a man. But I didn't even realize it was a man until I said it. Because he's so beautiful and so nice, but also h","And then we would be like this, and this is when we would really be happy and we would just love each other forever, and we wouldn't ever fight...and ","a bird like a parrot, with a long tail, but smaller than an eagle, it can fly at incredible heights, it's a bird, it's so beautiful. ... There was a b","I was lying down. I'm lying down. Yeah. I'm on my stomach. I'm in bed. I'm resting. I'm relaxing. I'm breathing deeply. I'm not afraid","the best way to approach this is to do a little bit of what I was thinking before, that is to say, that I am sitting here on a bench, and I am thinkin","there is some part of us that is not, well, we don't know how it works, but we don't like being aware of that part of us. It's like, we try to","it's interesting when you think about it, we live in this world, and this world, you know, we live for the next moment, the next hour, the next day, t","you can't say the things that are important in the world to a child, and if you're a mother, it's the child of your womb that you are saying this to, ","The right to life of every man is a right derived from God. All men are created equal; they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable righ","my memory is, you know, if you look at it, there are two things, you know. There is the memory of the past, which is of a historical nature, of a reli","I am still in a state of confusion about the question of what it is I am. What I am is a mixture of past and future. The past is the material that I a","the idea of death, that I might be able to conceive that as a sort of...a sort of a vision that could be given to us as we go into a new world, not ne","I am sitting in a garden with a dog, and the dog is barking and the garden is a garden of my own making, of my own creation, and it's not the same gar","a thousand people of various nationalities are living in the village. They are not all like me, but they have come here together and they have all acc","my own idea is that one of the things that is important is that we do not give up the principle of the universality of human rights. It is very import","It is not enough to know the language of the universe, but we must also use it. We can do this by applying what we learn about the universe to our act","And then I get an idea that it could be like this: 'How do I solve the problem?' I can't. 'I'm trying to solve the problem.' I try, but I can","what's wrong with people? Why do they get into arguments? Why do some people seem to be so destructive? Why do people not respond to the messages I se","so the idea of what I'm gonna say is that the fact that it's so different, the fact that we're so different that we're the two different sexes, and th","you are not alone. It is not you that are alone. You are part of a greater whole that includes everybody that is. ... And so I will try to explain wha","and there is this new man. This man has a name. His name is the first part of his soul. That's what it is, and it's in the past. It's not really","I don't know what happened. I don't remember it, I'm not there. It's like an island of me, and all this other stuff is the water around me. I can't","I'm having a problem. I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping. I'm not going to sleep. It's really frustrating. I feel very lonely and isolated. I feel a","I have been thinking a lot of things and then I realize I'm still thinking about that, that I'm still here, I'm here, here... and I realize how little","a memory of a dog. It is a dog. I see a dog. Yes, it's a dog. Now I see a picture of the dog in my mind. And then I see something","[I]magine [that] there are five of you, you, me, a boy, a girl, and a man. I'll see you again tomorrow. [There are] more","you know that he [the other person] doesn't need you; he needs his friends. He has got that kind of friends. You are just his one friend. You know tha","and now I see the trees in the distance...and I want to go to them. And I want to climb the tree. And I go to it and I want to take its branches and I","I feel the warmth of the sun. It is hot. It is still too hot. It will burn. I feel the heat on my skin, I feel it on my face, I feel the","and that's it. And then the wind comes in, and the wind comes up. And the wind comes out. And it goes, goes, goes... [pause] ...And the sun is","you have a problem that you don't know that you have, and that's the problem you're having. You are so close to what's happening, that you can't see i","there's nothing. There is a space here, a vastness. It's empty, but not without sound. The sound is like a great sea. It's a vastness, a void that","I am writing to a friend. I am writing this letter, or I am reading it, or it is being read in the other room. The other person is not there. It is a ","And it is not the other way round. I'm not a man. I'm a woman. I'm just a woman who feels like a man. And I don't know where it comes from","I can't help thinking about my own child. He's a baby. It would be so easy to talk to him now. And if I say something to him, something is transmitted","It's the same here. I remember it, but I can't remember. I remember, I remember, but I can remember, I can't. That's it. I remember the fact of","I'm waiting for the baby to be born... I'm waiting... I'm almost ready to go in. I can't go in yet... I'm going to die... I'm dying... I","I'm on the side of the street, there's a lot of people going by and they are just walking and walking. I'm getting ready to cross the street when sudd","And I'm thinking: you know, it's funny how people are so mean, but, they're not really mean. You know what I'm saying? Because, if they were really me","and then you have to, you have to have a lot of respect for the other side, especially the side that's a little bit different. I mean, you know, it's ","what's important about the present moment...you're here, you're alive, you're in it. That's it. If I'm alive right now, if I'm aware, I'm alive","the face is going to be one of the first things I think of. I remember the face of the person that I love the most in the world and that is my father.","that's why we have to be honest. Because it's not honest. There is a kind of honesty that's just not honest. I think that it's kind of important not t","the right side of my brain is not even...I don't know what it is that is. The right side of my body. I'm just in my left half of my brain now. I","we don't get to have a say, we don't get to make the decisions, and so on, and I'm beginning to understand this is a way for us to go away from oursel","I had been thinking about the movie [The Matrix]. You know, when they're all waking up in the Matrix and the guy in red says 'I know what you're going","my body. I mean it's all here and it's there. But I could imagine. What is it like to be a human being. If you were to create a human being what would","you're trying to think of a word or phrase, a thought or phrase. And then you're trying to sort of make that into a thought, a meaningful thought. And","And you can do that too, because you are me. But that's not to say that we are the same person. I mean, maybe you're me. I mean if I say I am","I remember when we used to have, in our classes, and I'm thinking about this now, I remember when we had, for example, a class of 25. And we had,","that's all I thought. What? Oh yes, I remember, yes, that is a problem. So it's not just a question of the 'me', but rather a question of a '","this is really quite a good start to the question. It's an idea I had a little while ago. The idea was that you know, I mean, what's the difference be","the kind of thing that happened in 1949 when the Chinese Revolution was over, and the Chinese Communist Party was in power, and the American people ha","so you say 'I have to go back to my first class', and it's like that's a big deal, right? It's like a big deal that you have to go to school.","it's important to me that it's all public, so people know what I think. It's important to be able to explain it. If I were to say, 'I don't want to","there is a guy that I had to help and he's really big on religion and I had to really tell him that I was just doing my job and I didn't believe in an","I remember going to a place with some people I worked with. There was some kind of party going on and some kind of event going on, I think, or a dinne","what's the question. What's the question that we're trying to answer, that is relevant, and what's the answer to the question? Is the answer the same ","the thing about it is that there is no real consensus on whether or not the person is capable of reasoning, and how much of reasoning is the brain doi","the way we are now, and it is quite clear that this is not a perfect society, I do not think it is a perfect society. I don't think it is very easy to","this is a little bit like, the difference between me and a person who is in the middle of a conversation, who is a listener, and a person in the middl","the world is full of people, full of animals, full of plants. Everything's alive. What makes this world alive? It's this thought that's alive: the tho","I am sitting here at a table. And the table is a piece of furniture that supports a lot of other things. The table is made of wood. And it's also made","and then the world will be just like a black hole and there will be nothing but a black hole, and everything else is just an illusion, a mirage, an il","[I]f I were to have a child, it would be a girl...there's a lot of boys around here [at the lab]...the children in this city are very sick.","a cat. No, it's a mouse. No, a cat. I see it in my mind, running. There's another one, a kitten. ...It's a mouse, but it","and I went to the park... and saw a butterfly and thought it was beautiful and sad. I was thinking, that I should have let it go. And I saw it. And it","there is an end to the story, right? I feel that it should be happy. I can't remember what it was that made me think that it would be sad. But, it's s","there's that boy who's a friend of mine, that's really a really good friend. He's in my grade 11 class now. And I miss him. He's gone to Europe","and you know, you know, it's interesting, how I always imagine the characters as I see them in my imagination, and they're all dressed up and so on, s","and I think that I think that these things will happen to me. Because I think that my father was always looking for a woman who would make him happy. ","and the world, the whole world, the earth, is like this, that there's no center and no circumference, and there's no front and no back, and there are ","I want to live. I want to live on this earth. I want it to be very, very good. I want to have a very happy life. I want all my family members to be","[in] this situation... [in] the light of this [situation]... in this situation... that's right... I have to be... this is what I have to do... this","I know that I'm a man who will never have any more children. It's all over now. I know that, even if I had another woman in my life, I would have only","and it's a lot easier, really, to make yourself love somebody you can't live with. I don't think it's true. I think it's possible for two people to lo","I don't have to worry about it. I'm not a little girl any more. I'm a grown-up. I'm independent. I know how to live. I know what's important,","I was really excited when I first met my wife, I was really, really excited. But she was a different person, I've been with her now 13 years and she's","And the reason that's true, is that, that they have a lot of different kinds of food to eat, and a lot of, a lot of people that you know that like to ","and you know, I have a lot of work, and it's a lot of fun, and I have a good job, but I don't have the money to live where I want, to","the first person I ever dated, I fell in love with her. She was a year older than I was and she was married. I went to visit her with her husband and,","I see myself in the store and I'm having a terrible day, and I'm talking to this guy and I say, 'Hey, let's go home' and he said, 'Yeah,","that's funny. I was just thinking of that, and it's really funny. That I'm going to be so old. I'm 40 years old, and I'm going to get","and there's the girl I had to deal with. I used to work at this department store in the early '80s. The guy I used to date was in it. So this girl","we are having a meeting tomorrow, I think it is about that...about that thing, but I think it's a good thing, it's a good meeting, it's just one of th","I'm in the car on the way to the airport, and the flight's 11 o'clock, and we're driving by, and the guy's standing in the window, and the car","[P]ut a blanket around me. It's freezing. I'd like a cup of tea. It's cold. I'm cold. I've been cold the whole time. I'm going","my thoughts. That's right. I think of you. And I think I have an idea how to fix this. I'll have to see how it goes. I'll try it and see if","oh! You're looking for a better job? So, I guess you're not satisfied with your current job. So you're going to get a different job. Well, I guess I'l","I wonder how long it will be before I feel like having some cheese? Maybe I'll have to eat some bread again. It's a good idea, bread and cheese, and m","the boy got to the top of the mountain and then there was this huge waterfall. I've never been over the waterfall. I wonder if it's gonna be really da","and I thought I had to go and tell him, you know, you have to tell him, because I was a bit scared. I said, you know if you don't go and say,","and then there was an angel. You know that? The angel was looking down at us. And then you started to have a conversation with the angel. And then he ","the last time I did something like this, I was on the way home from school. I was about 11 or 12 years old and I was thinking about my dog. She was","and it's been a year and a half or so, I guess. I just got a call today and I forgot to make a call back. So I got this call, so I don't","I wonder why I didn't say the same thing. And then I think, oh, because it's not the time. Well, this is the time. I was just talking to somebody, I","and I'm thinking, and I'm thinking I want to have a little more time off, you know? So I was thinking, well, I don't know if this is good or bad for","I'd like to do a little more of this. You see, I was a teacher. I'm not sure I want to be a teacher anymore, but I know I want to keep working and","and then it would be like, it's like in the movie when they're walking across that bridge and there's that one guy that's going to fall in the water, ","you're like, okay, what's the difference between a friend and a family member? ... family is like, you have to deal with all your family's stuff and t","we'll be going to the wedding on Friday, so it's like a few days before it's happening and I'm just going to try and make a few more plans for my frie","it's been a while since I last had my hair done. It's been a while, but it's not as bad as I thought. I mean, I still have this, but I'm","[My mom is] dead. Yeah. My mom is dead. I haven't really thought about it in a long time. I... I was wondering if she'd be OK. And I just","I'm thinking about all the people I've never met that I wish I could talk to. The people I've had to meet that I wish that I hadn't met. Like my frien","and, um, what I'm thinking, I guess I was wondering if you were able to read this. Like, do you have a way of being able to read what's going on with ","I had a dream last night, this is just the first dream I remember that I had a dream like this. And I was like, walking out the door with my boyfriend","it's like watching a movie, you know, where you're a character in the movie, and then you just... you're the only one there. That's really weird. I do","and we're just waiting for them to show up at the gate. We're just waiting and watching them from the other side of the gate. They don't want to come.","you know, it's funny because I've had people in my class that are like you and that just sort of, you know, I'm like, oh, yeah, sure, you're right","this is a beautiful, beautiful thing, to have somebody here with me like this, and I think about all the things I'd do with her, and I don't even know","I'm thinking about the book, you know. It's going to be out soon. And the cover. I think I like that one, but I don't want to say that I don't","I have a list of five things that I have to do today. The first thing is to call the customer service department of the insurance company. And then I ","I've had a pretty good life so far, really. I've been able to get where I was supposed to go. I've never had to stay in one place for that long. And I","so what about the kids. Oh, I hope I can get all my kids in school again. I don't know how. I got them in the last time we were in school, but it","I have a dream of the whole thing being taken up by the government...[pause]...I mean, I'm in this thing now. And, you know, we're...[pause].","I'm thinking of a few people and then I'm thinking about a lot of people. There's a couple of people and they're the sort of people I don't talk to. I","I'm in the middle of an exam right now, but I don't like them. They're awful. They're a waste of time, really. You're never really tested on anything.","I've got a dream, I got a dream I'd like to share with you guys. It's a dream that I have about... uh... a little girl, she's my daughter, and","it's so weird because I think I got a letter from somebody I don't know and I think it was from some girl at a party and I think that's how I got the ","it was just me and my husband in the living room, he's watching football. It's like I can't go outside and play, I can't even go outside and see the m","I think I need to go to the dentist and get my teeth done. I need to do it. I know I need to do that, so I need to make a dentist appointment. I need","[the] TV, it's just like when we're in class, it's a lot of the time, that it's, they're saying something and you're like, 'I know what","the first time I went to school...I went to a boarding school...and my parents...they...they...had no idea, they're divorced and I was the youngest an","I've got a very strange and complex dream that I remember having that involved two dogs and me and some other people. I don't know what the dogs were.","a bird is singing, a bird is singing and it is like a little bird. It is like a songbird. It is just singing, singing. And then it is like it is a lit","I'm getting to my dad's house... and he has this old dog... she's got a long tail. She's an older dog and she's really old, I think... and she's","I just think about you. I think about you all the time. You are one of my friends. I think of you all the time, you're my friend. You're one of my bes","and so, that's the way it is... when you do a thing, it's always there. You do a thing like... it's... it's just... just there. It's like","I don't want to talk about it, so that I can hear what it is like to not talk about it... I don't even know how to start... I was thinking, you know,","I wonder what it will look like tomorrow, this time next year. I've always wanted to see the sun go down on the sea. It's been a very long time since ","and they've got to think about it, and I've been thinking about this, that's why I have the idea that we should have a movie star or something that we","I've got to see my father. It's just been a horrible week. It's the first time I've been to the United States in a year. I have no idea what to expect","I am trying to work out what I have got for breakfast, and I can't. I have got nothing, not a bit of food. And I haven't got any money either. And I","I'm very tired, and I'm not sure why I'm going to the University of Edinburgh, and why I'm not staying here at home, with my parents, and then I'll ha","you don't have to worry about the future. All the time is right here, you know, that's what I'm telling myself, all the time is now. I don't know, you","it's very interesting that he should be a friend of mine, it seems like. I think I am more friendly with him than any of my friends in fact. He's a ve","I've got to take off my glasses, and my glasses are in the box on the top of the table in my room, and I'm not sure where my room is. I think it's","and I think we need to ask, who does the business of the paper? Because there's an editorial page, there's a business page, and the editorial page, th","you know, I can't say anything else, but I feel very bad about the whole thing. I didn't mean to say, you know, anything that hurt you and I really--I","I can't even write this because I don't want to be associated with that kind of thing, you know? I can't write this without having this thing about it","you don't know that [you're being recorded], and you don't have to think about it. I don't know. I don't have an agenda, either. So you can just talk","it's very hard for me to sleep. I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. And the last few weeks I've had trouble falling asleep. And I've bee","I'm having a dream where I'm running down the street and I can't find the place I'm supposed to be going to, and I'm not really sure why I'm running. ","my friend just called. ...and then I thought, oh, my god, I can't talk to my friend, because it's five o'clock, I've been awake for ten hours. And","I'm sitting here in a chair, thinking, and I'm not really paying attention to the words on the computer screen in front of me. I have the same thing h","and then I was thinking about... well, I just got some new clothes and I was thinking I can't wear it right now. And then I was watching a documentary","and you're kind of like a human body. There are all these things that you have to deal with and all these problems, you know. So you just have to keep","I am now in a room. I have a bag, and I'm walking around with my bag. I have something in my bag. I've been in this room before. I've got my","I see a...a very nice house on a very nice street, and the house is very...well, very nice, and there are children there, and there's a...a nice girl,","The last thing I thought about was the same one as the day before, but this one was on the surface, where I could see it, and then it was like it was ","and I remember when I was in New York City, there was a famous restaurant, I don't remember the name. And I remember the waiter came over and he said,","and the first thing I'm thinking is, is it cold out, 'cause I think it's cold out, so I'm thinking, I'm going to get into a car, I'm going","I remember a woman with a big smile and I couldn't think of who it was. And I remember walking in the rain and the water was coming up to the bottom o","I think of all the people, you know, I know I've seen some of the people and I think about how I haven't talked to them in so long and it's like, you ","there's one thing I'm always curious about in my work: why are we all so crazy to read? You know, like a lot of people. I don't understand, because I ","It's a little hard to talk about some things while you're lying here, and I know you're sitting up right now. But that's how I would really describe t","we should have had a meeting before we got here, but we were all so busy. And we would have been happy to go in to meet you, but we all thought that i","And I'm looking forward to it. The best part of the process, though, was that the group was so nice. That was the most remarkable thing. It's a really","I remember that I have to go and buy a magazine. I should do that right away, if I get home. I will have to have a magazine for my husband, I guess, b","I've been working on that little idea for a long time, I guess I just didn't get to it. It's very complicated. I'm still trying to make sense of it, I","I feel like I'm watching my life go by. It's a strange sensation. I'm looking at the things I've done in the last 50 years. I know what I've done","it's like I've always been afraid of it... I could just get up and leave if I had to... I don't want to be here, but I don't know what else to do","and the air is full of the smell of coffee and bacon, and the smell of the wood fire, and the smells of the spring, the smell of new grass, and the cl","and then I'm just thinking about the whole thing. I was going to the bank for a deposit. And I was standing in the bank, and I'm thinking about the de","that's a funny thing that we're doing. I guess we're doing what I always do with music, isn't it, when I hear something and I don't really know it yet","The idea of all of us, all of the world, and how we've all become, and how the world has changed over time. I think it's just kind of a lot to think a","And then, I started to have this fantasy. And the fantasy is about what it's like, if you don't have your mind and if you have a mind and you have a b","I've been thinking about this for a long time. And I think that this is a big problem for society. ...It's almost like we're all locked in some kind o","and we had the last of the bread, and we were sitting down at the table to eat it, and suddenly, I became aware of something that was coming. I don't ","I was thinking about the name of the poem I wrote last week. The poem was a narrative about an alien invasion. I titled it 'The Exile'... and that was","I see myself, but it is like a projection that is coming out of me, and then I see myself in a very strange way, that it is all the same. I am looking","and I can't move them. So what do I do with them? And I can't do anything about it. But I can do something with them, and I want to do it with them","And it was a dark night in the forest. There was no moon, there was no light. And there was a little girl with a basket under her arm. A little girl, ","in the sky, a very great darkness...the first of the three waves of destruction that we're going to get...the first wave, which is very large and very","it is very hard to decide which words to use, which words are not easy to find and sometimes it is difficult to understand what you want to say or to ","this is the way that a person who is happy, is a person who has lived. I mean, not lived in the sense of living in the body, but who has experienced l","I know I'm going to die. It's inevitable. I know I have a will to live but I don't want to die, I know I've got to die. I know. I","I've got a lot of thoughts. I'm trying to remember what I wanted to say. There's a lot of things going through my mind, I'm trying not to think of the","it's very hot and I'm very dry and I'm cold, I'm very tired and I'm not thirsty... I feel very good...I'm very tired. I think I've already had","It's time to get to the core of what I am trying to do with you. I need to say some things, and I need to be able to say them. So that's why I","I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here, and I'm trying to write, but it's not working. I don't know why. And I think it's because I'm too busy.","and we'll see this guy, this guy from the movie who is like this, you know, he's kind of like a serial killer and he's like, I'll find a way to get","so my parents got divorced, my dad had some trouble with his alcoholism, so I didn't go to high school, but then I went to school after high school. I","so, I'm sitting at the desk and I think to myself, I've been going through a lot of things lately, but I've been feeling like I'm finally getting a li","I feel like I'm trying to make sense of it all, trying to figure out what's really going on and how everything fits together. There are so many pieces","my daughter is so much more confident now. It's interesting, she says to me, 'Mom, I'm really glad I went to the psychiatrist. I've been feeling so an","I am a professor of English, and I am a musician, and I teach in the community college, and I like that... but I think my best years were probably whe","it's sort of like, you know, a... you know, I guess you could say a little bit of the whole process is you have to be kind of self-disciplined in your","I think I was a lot younger when I was at the library. I was a freshman, and I had to do a paper or something. I can't remember what the topic was. I ","it is an important thing that there are all these differences in terms of the way different people think. I'm interested in that. It's interesting to ","I had just finished a chapter in this book, and I was reading in the middle of it and I had a problem with it that I had to look at. And then I just p","I have to stop working and go to the computer to see what's going on. I don't think the computer is working, because the screen doesn't come on. And I","you know that's interesting. I was thinking about that other day. It was a moment I was thinking of a girl's name and I was trying to remember it and ","I have been reading a lot of the philosophy, and I've got a lot of different things going on in my head, and I'm not really sure how I'm going to do a","I've got a lot of different kinds of ideas that I'm going to try to talk about. And then I'm going to go back and try to talk more about this idea, be","I'm sorry. It's difficult to think when I'm sitting here. I'm not thinking about anything. I'm just sitting here and listening to this noise in my hea","we all had to go into the building and they got on the computer, they put it in the computer, you know, and then they went through all this and all th","I think I'd like to have some pizza and then go to bed. I'm not sure if I'm going to have to get up at seven to go to work. I think it's a","I know that they're going to do something. I'm really scared to get into work. I don't want to be on this side of the room. I want to be up on the bal","I'm watching the news, they're showing a newscast on the weather, they're saying there's snow coming in. I'm thinking, well, we've been getting a lot ","a little bird, a tiny bird, sitting on a tree branch. I don't know why. What the hell? I don't think I've heard a bird sing this morning. It's the","a lot of thoughts. A lot of things. I don't know. A lot. It's hard to say. I don't have a clue. It's a lot. I don't see","and I'm thinking about that old saying: 'It's always a good day if you start tomorrow.' It's true, that is. ... It's not like a regular day, where the","the room is full of people, and I think, 'Oh, well, that's it. That's the last time.' I feel the stress, and the stress is increasing. It's really","I want to get on with my life, but there's always a question in the back of my mind, which is that, you know, I could have had a better job, or someth","we had a dream the other day that I was in the library and there was a huge explosion, and I ran out and there were lots of people all over the place.","and then I thought to myself, I wonder what she would do in my situation, you know. She would have the nerve to leave me, would she. I would have been","I could still be on the street and I've got to find some money and then I'll go and see this man. He's so handsome that I think he is really a saint, ","and, in any event, she is the one who should have been murdered. I'll say that again: she should have been the one murdered, and not her husband, but ","this is a horrible scene. A terrible, horrible scene. You see, he had it coming. I don't blame him. I'm not going to blame him. But he had it coming,","You are, aren't you, and what is it to be dead? What is it? A man with nothing left in him but the horror and the hate that's in him. What is it","I'm still living here. I've never left. I still have a place here, you understand? But you've got to admit it was a hell of a thing, that this man sho","the world is going to hell, and I know it. And it's going to be all the fault of this man who's at the bottom of it. And he's in here, too,","a lot of people are going to be shot. I was in an armed camp, and a bunch of guys went to go get some people, and I think they were killed in the end.","the way to get her to go over is, we don't have to be a gang of any kind, but we could just have, we could just say, I'm gonna have a car,","I'm not sure I'm really alive anymore, and I don't know whether to be happy that you're not alive, and I think maybe it's better if you die, and I'm n","The point is that in the future the human mind will be the dominant factor, it will be the key to everything. It will be the central element of every ","I know it's a sort of a nightmare. But the thing I am thinking about right now, you know, the thing I'm thinking about right now is the fact that it's","I think if the time comes, I don't mind getting involved in it. If that's what it takes to get the job done, I'm not going to shy away from it. And if","I'm sure it's going to be an interesting trip. It'll be a big one, though, with a lot of people. But I'll enjoy it. I'll enjoy seeing all those other","and we could use this, this little piece here, if it was available. Or, you know, this is the main thing. You know, if we could have this one little p","and I want to get something on that, because I think it's probably an interesting question, which is, does that mean that you have to put your hand do","we're in the lab, I'm in the lab. We're in the lab at the university. The university is in San Jose. San Jose is in the Bay Area. The Bay Area is","we have got to find a way to make them work. And that is a very difficult thing. And you know, when I was working in the system, it was an interesting","I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content ","we're going to start by looking at what the history has been of the U. S. in the last 50 years...and the way we are in the last half-century...and tha","I don't know how to do anything anymore, I have a computer in front of me. I don't know what to do. I don't remember anything that's happened to me, o","the thing is that I'm not really sure what I want to do, really. I just want to have a good time, and then I don't know how to really do that. You kno","And I was like, 'Oh my God, I'm going to be a mother!' But I didn't think about how you have to make a living, and I was like 'What am I","and if you don't get it, what's the problem? If it's a problem, it's your problem, not his. I mean, you got to get it, or you don't","and, and the world was, I think, a lot more comfortable at that point and I mean that's my own perception and my own point of view, not some kind of a","you know, this is a big subject to be in a little room alone. I mean, it's really kind of scary, actually. I know that sounds a little strange, but it","that's what's going on, you know, you're not going to do that. ...I just realized something, I think it's funny, you know. ...I don't even know.","I feel like I've been doing this for a long time. I remember feeling this way in my late teens. I think about what I'll do when I die. I wonder what I","and I was thinking, I can't wait to see if that's still going to be around next year, because I can't see how I could possibly get it by then, but I d","it's that we all have the potential to make the world better, we just need to have the guts to act on it. If we all just worked together to make this ","it's not something I'm very familiar with but it's interesting how it all fits together. We have all these different aspects of the brain, the emotion","and then I was like, 'Oh, you know what?' I'm not sure I agree with your position. I think, in terms of the science of psychology, I think there's a l","I think there's a good chance that when we do a study like that we're going to see that when we make it so that people can take the time to reflect on","I don't want to do this anymore. This is why it's so hard to make progress in my life. I am so unfulfilled with my life and I am constantly, even on a","my brother and I are both in college and we are very similar. In fact, when I talk to him, we're pretty much identical in our thoughts. It's not just ","a lot of it comes down to a lot of it goes back to the whole 'no, no, no' thing, the constant telling yourself that 'this won't work'. I can't do","and I don't know. I don't even know what's going on with me. I mean I'm getting to where I know what I'm doing, I know what's happening. It's","and you know, I feel like I'm kind of, it's like I'm, I'm like I'm just, I'm just a little bit like I'm not really here right now,","so I guess in a way you could say that this is a way of kind of a way of trying to... I don't know, kind of, sort of, like, a way of just","yeah, I'd be a really nice person to be around. Yeah. I'd probably like to be around you, too, if you were like a little bit nicer. And like, I'm","and so I've had a lot of time to think about a lot of things, and I've also had a lot, um, a lot of life experience, which is I'm a twenty-four","and that's like it's the same as it was before the... before the... the... it's like, well, it's the opposite. So, that's interesting. And if you look","we are all people who have very different reactions to things. I've been thinking about this quite a bit today. So I don't have the same kind of react","we are just going to have to figure out a way to do it, because otherwise it's going to be, uh, really bad. And, uh, you know, what's it going to","The man, and I don't know why I'm saying this, but the man, I was talking to a guy who had a child that was about five, and the kid was being very hyp","I've been trying to think of ways to help people in general... how to make the world a better place for everybody... and I think, in a way, it comes d","it's a sort of, a, you know, the way I think I have it now is, I have sort of, I have the thought, the idea of a program that would, you","a bit of the other kind of things too...like that...but I think it's a lot more likely to be like...the kind that...when you are like...what would you","there's a lot of... a lot of what I've been working on is about the... there's a... I don't know what to call it. I think that my... my... the","what the hell are you doing? Oh yeah. I've got to get back to the shop. I've got my orders to take home. And I'm gonna have to go get my stuff ready","and then I go to work and I have to work on a project and then I can go home and I get a lot of writing done and then I get into bed and then I fall a","you have to take a lot of time to do the right things. I mean, I know, I'm very good at it. I'm like I'm very fast. I get bored. I","[S]omebody could go out and...[t]he way I'd do it would be to go out and make a lot of calls. [S]end a lot of people out","I think that the most important thing about the life of the individual is that they can have a positive self-image. They can feel good about themselve","and I thought, if I have to have to make a decision between the two, it will be to not work at all. I have to, I have to choose, and it is difficult.","I remember being in college, and I was really angry because I had gone to a class for a little while and had thought that it was going to be good, and","and I was thinking that I shouldn't be thinking about this at all, I should be thinking about what I'm supposed to be thinking about. And I was trying","we have to change the way we do things, but there's so many different ways to do it. That's what's hard, because I've done it so long I'm not sure wha","the thought was that the ideas were being shared, not necessarily by the individual, but in the sense of how the individual is going to participate in","I am, of course, thinking about the idea that we were talking about before, of whether or not the difference between the way a woman and a man thinks "],["what? I don't know. That's it. I think. I can't think of anything else. I can hear music. I just hear music and it's really nice and it's relaxing","I'm sitting here...thinking about that, you know, what is going on. And I'm just trying to figure out why you don't know it, and that's what's botheri","the idea that we were thinking about had been to try to work out how the mind works, and then to take that knowledge, and use it to try to figure out ","I'm trying to say, that the idea is that you have to go through a certain amount of that. That's where you go through that, so you get over that, you ","So I'm thinking of a really cool thing. So I'm going to tell you something that's really important, and it's really important to tell you about, and I","so I'm thinking that I'm doing this, I'm doing some research on this, and then I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to check out some books. O","the fact that the whole of the universe was made out of that, which is one of the greatest miracles of all time. So the fact that you and I and every ","you have to make a choice about the question you want to ask about. What are you trying to ask the question about? Do you want to know about the peopl","And then, when you look at the data, you see that there's this funny phenomenon, the, what's it called, the two-thirds phenomenon. Where the data from","and that was how it was, I think, because we had a lot of work to do. There was a lot of material there that I think has a lot of value and I think th","it's like, you're in this body, and you have this sense of self, and you're just trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and you don't underst","the fact that the universe is not so much made of what we call matter, but rather of space and time and the laws that govern the interactions of space","and I know I know that I know that... and I know that I don't know that I... I know that it's... you know, if you have a string of strings, and each","and then what's the probability that a given subatomic particle that we could call a photon, that is going to come along and hit that wall, or any oth","I just read something in the paper today that was very interesting. It said that a certain professor at a certain university, that has been doing some","a thing of beauty is a joy for ever. That is all it says, that's all it is. It doesn't say it's a joy for all time, for the whole universe. It","the difference between the person who is fully engaged in the world, and the one who is not, is that the world is perceived as a coherent system by th","I'm a very spiritual person, so when I have trouble sleeping I pray until I'm asleep, or I can't pray anymore, or I don't have a prayer, so I sleep. T","I am afraid of not being able to be with the right person, and if I find a person who I am attracted to I am afraid they will not be interested in me.","I just don't know how it's possible. How did it happen? You know, you just can't imagine it. It's like you're in an accident. You hit something. You k","we went to the movies yesterday and I was really surprised that it didn't occur to me to see that movie because it was a movie that I would have liked","And then I have that idea. It's not a really big idea. It doesn't seem like it would do anything, but it's just a small, little bit of the idea. I thi","and they have a lot of time, right? Because the time that they've had to come up with all these different ideas and ways of doing things... and I'm th","I'll go see what it is... I don't have the same name, but the same initials. It's a sort of... it's a sort of, the, it's not a particular","and I've always thought that we're just not very good at making decisions, even with our conscious thoughts. And I'm just wondering how much of a deci","and I know that the best way to get there is to take the bus and get on the other side of town, because that's the way I'm used to going to work, and ","a little kid, and he's in the house and his father is in the bathroom, and he knows he's in there but he can't see him and he can't find him and he's","I mean, if you know the name of the person, I mean, you know the person's name. So what? That's not that big a deal. I mean, it's just a","and the same way you just can't do anything about it, so you don't do anything about the environment. You can't change the environment, but you can ch","and then, when you come around to the table, you're going to have to be polite and ask them, 'Well, how's my project coming along?' You know? You're g","and he's got his head on a swivel and he's looking at the other guy and he's saying, 'Oh, you've got to go on with that,' and the guy goes '","[sings] 'Gee, old girl, don't you know I've got you under my wing,' I got the money to pay her. ... 'And you know I can't just","you know, that was my real reason for being there. You see, I had a brother. You remember him? I want to tell you something about him. I'm going to ha","you know, it was the day I got married. I'm sitting at home, the wedding over, it was a small wedding, it was my own wedding. It was just my mother, m","You know the first one? You're supposed to tell your brother in there not to come home. That was the first one, remember? You said to tell him not to ","The other night I was sitting there on the sofa in the living room, and this guy came in. He was wearing a green jacket, and he was a little tall, and","[a]fter a long while, the silence... I'm glad I've stopped worrying about the train because it's already running late. It's coming up with the red lig","I don't have to write it down. I know how to do it. I know I don't have any particular use for it. I'm thinking of this one I want to get from the","I could give you a whole lecture about it. It's about how things have changed. It's like when people in the 1940s would use the word 'television' like","I'd like to have a lot of kids. I'd like to be a mother of two or three. I'd hate to be a single mother, or a mother of four, or five.","and I've had this kind of problem with the last three women. I guess you're one of the three women I've been seeing. I mean, I've got a problem with a","it's a lot of what you see in movies, they have them like the military. They have the computer game where you do all this stuff, and they give you the","and that is the only time he would ever be able to go back and do it again and do something else with a man that was his. And that is the worst thing.","if you had a... a... a young boy, a 13-year-old... with a mother who had passed away, what would you do if she'd told you, 'I don't","I don't like that guy [the judge]. He is a bully. And he has to be careful, because there is another man who could kill him, just like he killed the g","and then he came in here and started killing me... and I was kind of like, okay... oh my God, I am going to be killed in my own house and my wife and ","I don't think you really believe me. I'm just a cop. I can't even get arrested for it. I'm gonna get away with murder. That's why I did it. I","I would have done it differently. I would have told them to let him go to school. And he could have gotten his whole life away, and it would have been","You see that there's a lot of work going on around here. A lot of people in here. I mean, they're all just like, 'All right. What do you want? What","I mean, if you're talking about, like, a car... You know how it's always like, 'When the car breaks down, that's when they really go down, is when you","a lot of people don't think they're as good as they are, because they're afraid of what other people might think of them. I think most of us have to b","And what is it, what's it like? Well, it's like, when I see somebody, like a friend, who's doing something, like, and I can't say anything about it","the idea that's in my mind right now is that I don't know how to feel that it's going to work. You know what I mean? I don't feel like there's an ener","[the participant's name], this is my next thought. [Pause.] And I'm thinking about my mom and dad. [Pause.]. So, it's a kind of a good memory for","and then that's just how I want it, the way it is, it doesn't need to be changed. That's it. And the first thing I do is just let myself go to that","the only thing that I can say is that we're really just sort of running the numbers on this. We're looking at the financial numbers, and we're also lo","it's like the world is starting to get darker. It's getting harder to do what you have to do. I don't think there's much money in this. And the people","And I thought about the things that I've been talking about in this article, and that I don't have time to write in it, but I'm going to write them do","And what are they? ... I think that the idea of a good or evil person is a myth that we make up ourselves ... The idea that some people are born evil ","I could write a book about what I saw in the past. If I look at it in the light of my experiences and of other experiences I have seen, then I have a ","It is important, that I was not in a hurry, that I had not been under too much pressure at the moment. And, I also noticed that I was also not really ","I was saying earlier, but I forgot to tell you, that my father, who had a lot of respect for the idea that we live in a democracy, and for the idea of","we're going to have to build a system to support it, we're going to need a new government, we're not going to have the same government, we don't have ","we've got to get all the data together, we've got... and then we're going to have to do something about it. Well, I know what I'd do. I know what the","but he was never supposed to have this kind of training in the first place. The reason that they would do that is so that if he had been really well t","I'm sitting here and I have a bunch of people sitting around me who are just saying I'm doing too much, and I'm doing it. So it's a kind of interestin","we're not just talking about what we've seen, what we've heard and what we've done. We're also talking about how we've seen it, how we've heard it and","what's the point of this, you know? Why don't we just work out some way of making this happen? Why can't we just say, well, you know, let's say the","I know how to use it. I know how to make it better, and that's the reason why I got in and why I got into it. I mean, I know how to do this","I'm going to go to the office tomorrow. And I'll put in a request for an expense account for this meeting. I'm going to make sure I have the right amo","yeah, there was one that's like that. So, I'm working on a program, you know, it's kind of a fun thing. I'm working with a couple people, we're","I think it's like a lot of things in life. It's like, you know, if you're just going to do something, like, a bunch of people. You know, like,","my father had an old Volvo station wagon, and it was...it was the first...it was his first car...so the old Volvo station wagon was like a trophy, you","I want to know about you. I have no idea. I have a very vague impression about you. You don't seem like someone you would want to talk to. You seem li","I think about my work here, you know, I think I'm not really doing anything in particular but, you know, this is part of the work that I've done, I'm ","and the first question I want to ask you is about the way you see yourself. And so, what do you see yourself as being? What do you feel? What do you s","so then, my question is, do you know how I could do this? Do I know how I would do this? Is it a part of my normal way of working? Is that part of","I'm doing that now, and it's not that I'm not thinking about it, I'm not doing it, I'm thinking about it. And so it's like there's this sort of","I see this one guy who is going to get in a car accident, I don't know, I'm trying to think of what kind of a car accident it is and why he's getting ","[I think about] what the day will bring for me, because I know the day is going to be busy and I think about how I can be a bit more productive at the","I feel a little bit tired. I just want to be able to rest a bit, but I don't think I'm going to fall asleep. I just don't know. I don't feel","and that's one of the reasons I started thinking about [what I've been writing about], you know? Because I saw it. I saw it and I just felt, you know,","it's all good, I guess, but it's a bit strange, right? I mean, there are moments when you don't feel so much like being happy, like having that positi","and I'm thinking that I'm feeling really stupid, I'm like, oh my God, what do I do now? I'm really stressed. Oh, what the hell, I'm going to","I wonder why. I wonder why I'm not making any plans. I mean, I have a couple of things to do but I'm not sure if I should even go to school. I'm","I was thinking of going to the movies. I don't know what movie I'd go to, or what movie I would see, but it's something I really want to do. I think t","it's been a very long time since I've done anything like that... I haven't had a job in about, uh, a year, I guess, and... and it's been, uh","I can't tell you the number of times that I have talked to people about, like, how this is really bad, you know, and I can't believe that people are d","and what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? And if it's not a bad thing, you've got to think about a bad thing. You know, the worst thing?","[I'm] writing a book about people. It's about all of us. And, I'm trying to make a living from it. And, it's not working. I haven't sold","and they said that the first person to arrive at the place that they wanted to go would be the person who would end up there...and that they would end","I could also tell you about the fact that when the first group of young people got together, that they were a pretty mixed group. We had the usual mix","[a]ll that stuff about being a human being. I'm sure that there are all kinds of theories about what a human being is. I've been thinking about the id","it's a way of getting at the unconscious, or some of it, but I don't think it's the same as psychoanalysis, which is very specific, whereas this is ju","the thought, that there is no 'I' at the end of the moment. The moment is constantly shifting, and so there is no one, who can observe it as a fixed e","you know, this is all just nonsense, because the words themselves don't mean anything, they're just a bunch of letters and sounds, which is just anoth","but I remember when I was a child I used to have that kind of thoughts, I would imagine something and the words would just come and I could not stop m","and this one here, he had a wife and kids and they were all going to die. And he had a family and he didn't have any real job except to take care of h","it's always interesting, I'm not sure why, to sit in a room with a bunch of people, because that's how most people live, just a bunch of other people.","And what I really love, what I really like, is that, and I said this to the other day, but I really like the fact that we could, that we have so much ","I'm like that: you know that you don't need me for anything, you know that I'm just there, but you like me because I'm like that. I mean, I'm a","a small part of the brain is atrophied, which makes it so it doesn't work at all, and the rest of it has to work harder, and that's why the brain is s","there's a kind of thing, which is what I call the 'lucky mind.' I don't know how you'd get it, but it's like it's just sort of a 'what","what are you doing? You're not doing anything. You're just thinking. You're not even thinking about thinking. You just have a thought, and then it's g","the day after yesterday I was going to a party. And it was this girl in the office I'm working for that I wanted to go to the party with, and it's jus","I can't say no, I don't want to be a bad friend. But I have to have a bit of privacy, I think, for a week or something. I can't just shut","[w]e could see that she was in the [bathroom]. [She] was trying to put in her clothes [that] she was in [the] car, [but] her","I don't know. I know what they are thinking. But I know they are not thinking it. They don't know about it. And they wouldn't want to know about it, b","the teacher would have done, and I can't just go along with that, I mean, I would have told the class to go back and start again. I mean, that's what ","if you had to have the choice of being a human or an angel. That would be a really interesting thing for us to try out. I wonder if it would be more l","I think that there is a tendency in the world to look to the past and look to the future as the only two places to find security, and to forget that t","and I'm going to look at how people feel about the quality of life in their home country. And if I could, I would like to take a closer look at how th","this was a time of a lot of change, and the church, being the established church of course, had to be one of the first to adapt, and so they had to ha","and he's going to have to move here, and he'll have to start all over again, and I don't think that's right, it's not right, and there's no reason to","the way the way the way that people are treated today, and in the past, by the way that they're treated by the government. That's an issue that's very","the story of this great nation, our nation, is the story of the progress of a democracy. It is not the story of a group of people with a plan of domin","I know I've got to do something about my own country. And I've got no intention of living any longer in any country that is not a republic and not a f","I would just say to the whole of America, all of America, you know, I just believe that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I'm not going t","a good man and a bad man. A good man is one who has good intentions but doesn't know how to express them. He's good and he knows that. A bad man is on","we're in for a war and a civil war, and we're in for an industrial revolution and a revolution in science. The first thing I'd say is we're in a revol","I was in my room with my parents, and I heard the telephone ring. I picked up the phone and heard the voice of the enemy coming from the other side. H","the other day when we were out, I was talking to a lady in the park, and she said, 'What's your job?' And I said, 'I'm a lawyer.' She said","you know, in my last job, I worked at a company called General Motors. You know, I'm in a big company, a big company. I have a boss who's the Presiden","and now, I'm sitting in this room, I've got an entire room here, just a bunch of chairs and desks. I guess I'd have to go get my pants and jacket and ","the other thing that I'd like to do with the money I have is to put it in a fund where I can keep it. That's all I do with my money, I'm not going","and the other thing is that I have to talk to you, this is the time, this is a good time to talk, to get the whole thing out of the way. It's going to","it's not as though there are no more women in politics or anything like that. I just think that women are going to have to prove to people that they c","I see a beautiful woman and she is like a lady in the city, she's wearing a pretty dress. It's a summer dress, a white summer dress. She's young and b","And they're like 'We're going to go out to the pool. And there'll be lots of people, and we're going to get naked, and we can have sex.' I think I","and then we would say to our friends, 'How much did you pay?' They'd say, 'Five dollars!' And we would say, 'We paid seven for three!' And we'd say","and now it's all the same thing, it's like it's all a blur, because it's been on my mind since we were here, so now it's just like, it's all","and I think he's a little bit more of a romantic than I am. I don't know, I guess I think I'm just, you know, I don't really have much time for","what is the difference between you and me? ... you're always kind of ... you're kind of a bad boy in my eyes, so you're different. ... [the man] is so","you're thinking that's the best way to do it but I'm not thinking I'd like to do it a different way or something. But it's not like there's two ways o","the most important thing that happened to me this morning was the fact that I was thinking that I should probably go to the store and get some milk an","I'm watching the game of Monopoly. It's really boring. We're in the middle of the board now. It's been a while since we went into jail. You don't have","there's a kind of a pressure, I guess, or a pull, from the other people, it's kind of like a magnet. And you sort of just...you're trying to keep up","it's always, it's always like this...it's just...it's like... I don't know what it is. It's like... it's just so...it's not even like","I have a kind of funny, odd dream every night. It's a bit of a nightmare. It's kind of like something is coming through the door or something and it's","the picture of the face of the person I'm thinking of is suddenly clear as if I was looking at it again. There is no light. Just the face. It is a fac","you're looking at the sky and you're looking down and you're watching the birds flying by... and then they come down... and they're so small. I rememb","the...the...I feel so bad! ...I...I don't know what to do! ...I have no idea what to do now! ...I'm...I'm in trouble! ...","it's just like, you know, if I'm not really happy or if I don't feel happy about something, then it just stays in there. I know I'm not very happy abo","I have to talk to the guy at the front desk and see if there's anything there. I'm kind of thinking, 'Is this my first day?' and I'm saying 'no' to","I guess that's where we are now. So this is the kind of work you would do if you were going to be a philosopher, and that's it. No other kind of work.","the fact that all that stuff that's in the back of your head, it's just so much material, and it's so much more than you are conscious of, so it's the","I know it's going to be cold. I've been looking forward to it since we got the weather report, I was really looking forward to the cold. I like the co","I remember, when we were children, that we would walk down here, to the river, and then walk on down to the creek. And that's where we'd go to play an","I see... a... I don't know how to put it, I see a little scene that I see in my mind. It's the way the people talk around here, and... and we","it's like an empty bowl. There's an image of an empty bowl that I remember from when I was a little kid. My dad had made me a bowl like that, with a l","and the next thing I know, there's a houseboat in the middle of a pond and I'm on the dock with a guy that's sitting on the boat... and it's kind of f","It's a little bit of a distraction. And, oh, it's interesting, I wonder if this is true. If we're doing this. It's an interesting thought. I wonder if","I remember this morning when I was leaving the office and I heard a bird outside in the office. I have no idea what species of bird that was or where ","this was the first time I was with this woman who had died, she had been killed at the same time as I was born, but it was not the same day, so she wa","so, if I'm to be an alcoholic, and you were to be an anorexic, what would you want to do? Would you want to be in the hospital, or would you want","I am lying here. I am lying. I am feeling a little better. I am going to go into sleep, I think, or I'm going to go to sleep, I am going into","I'm going to a friend's place in the evening, a friend I haven't seen for about ten years or so. She has a house up in the country, and I'd like to go","it's so sad that the human race, as it is now, is going to be exterminated by war. That's why it's going to be in the books. 'War' and '","and then you see that the first thing is that, in a way, you've been led to believe that all of this is true, and that this is the way it is. And then","I remember a time when the earth was still young, when the land was not yet divided, and the ocean had not yet taken its place. Then the sky was not y","I think the old ones have come to know and feel the whole of the Universe. They know what has to happen and why. They can do anything they want and th","but the experience of being alive, and the experience of life, and the experience of the universe, and the experience that is life, and everything in ","and it is a human, it is not a machine, and it is not an animal. It is the principle of life and the principle of consciousness that makes man unique.","I have the idea of an old man sitting there, and he's thinking of how to make a chair. But the old man doesn't know how to make it, so he makes it fro","the idea of the body of water that the animals are swimming in, is a very complex idea, because I am also imagining the life that they must be living ","[I]f you think of a body and a soul, the soul is the mind. And the body is the physical world. You know that. But the soul is more than that, and","the reason why I am sitting here in this chair, this chair, where is it? ... in the room where I am, that is, I am in a room, but the room is not","this is a lot like what I'm thinking when I'm sleeping and I don't really know what I'm doing at this particular moment, but I have the impression of ","I have the feeling that I am going to die...I feel as though I'm suffocating. I'm not going to die today. It's only a feeling. It's a feeling that","and we are a new people...a new people...the old people have all died...they have all died and left us and we are a people...we are a new nation...a n","And my father, I don't remember him. I remember that he was the first person who ever called me his daughter. That was the first thing that he said. I","it's a dream, isn't it? It's a dream. You've been dead. I don't know what's happening. I feel like I'm dying. I'm dying and I know","It's like this: It's a lot more difficult to be with him, because you're not allowed to talk. You have to be quiet. You can't show your true self, bec","this is what is important in life...I see that the most important thing is not to be caught in one's thoughts. One has to be able to get out of them. ","I'd like to go to the toilet. It's been too long. I need a bit of movement, and some exercise. I need to talk to someone. I'd like it if I could","and the thing is that I'm always so happy to see him, always happy to see her, and I feel I love him so much, I love him and I love her, and all this","we're going to have to make a little trip to the city. We're going to go to the city and you know it's going to be fun and it's going to be a wonderfu","so I'm trying to think of something to say, but I don't think of anything, so I'm thinking that maybe I should ask, if they want to, but I'm trying no","it is a place where we are going to take the next steps. We're going to take that step. We're going to try to find the next step, and then take that. ","and what would that say? What would that say to me? ... Well, the more important thing, I think, is to go back and do the writing. ... But then again,","the dream, the dream of that woman. How was that woman's name, now, now...? She was a blonde, a blonde woman. It was her, I believe. It was she","it's almost 2:00, and I'm still here. And I feel kind of at peace, and I feel very tired. I haven't slept, and I just feel very tired","and it's just such a wonderful feeling, and you know, if I could just have this all day and every day, it would be great. I think you know, you have a","I was watching this little baby girl, she was on the bed and I was watching her for a minute, and I thought, 'I think I should give her a hug.' But it","the woman in my dream is always white. I don't know why. But I can see it, and I can feel it. It's like she's wearing a white veil, or something.","the other day, when I was in a situation where I didn't want to be there, and I was just sitting there...I was just sitting quietly...I was thinking o","I was driving in the dark. ... I was trying to get to the next town and there was a dead-end on the side of the road. I had a headlight on. I stopped ","I've had these strange ideas come into my head before. I've been doing a lot of thinking about what to do after college. I think I'll have to think ab","[t]here are so many things we just don't know. You know, you read stuff in the paper and you wonder, well, what happened there. Then you think, well, ","what do you say about it? ... I don't know. What is a thought? What does it consist of? ... It's a sequence of thoughts. That is, the present thought ","It is about...well, it's about my relationship with my mother. I'm going to have to be really honest here...It's a complicated relationship, and I don","we could talk about it and you would be a little more relaxed and we could start to get through it. But the fact is that if you want to talk about it,","that's what it was about. It was about getting out of the situation and having a certain kind of effect. ...I don't want to think about it right now b","I've been trying to think of how to begin, because it's something that I've been thinking about for a long time now. And I keep trying to think about ","I've had some crazy ideas in my mind about the whole thing, and I never told anyone. It was like, I never even mentioned it, and I really wanted to. I","we have this plan, you know, to have a plan, and then we have this plan and this plan and we're going to have these other plans, and then... I don't k","so I had a dream last night that I was working with this man and we were doing a project, and then I had a bad dream in the middle of it...I was at a ","the first one [the child in the dream] was the one I was most interested in. The first one that I was actually really interested in, because that was ","and I just started thinking about it. So, I was thinking of this thing, that I have this thing about you and your work. But you know, it's really, it'","the other day I was watching the news, and it was about the storm, and it said that people were, um... and I'm thinking, um... I was just thinking tha","I am having a lot of fun today. I'm thinking about the upcoming month. It's going to be a lot of work because we have the new class to plan for and al","I just sort of sit here and I, I think about all of my work, I guess. I mean, I have a lot of projects that I'm involved with right now and some I've","I'm working on this book right now, which is called The Psychology of the Unconscious, and I just have to get all the information in here, and then I'","I'm having a lot of trouble with this. I have a really hard time in my research and writing classes. And I just can't seem to figure out how to get th","and then I came up with this idea: what if we could make it so that it doesn't matter what kind of thing you want? If you have a question you can't an","you're still feeling a bit fat, aren't you? You'd like to lose some weight, you know? What if you actually started a weight loss program? You're not g","and if you had to design a new country, and you had to have a whole different history, you know, what would your country look like? Well, I mean, that","And so this is how we're gonna do it...we're gonna take the 75 percent of the students that have already received the full price of the tuition...we'r","I have been trying to read, but it just doesn't fit, doesn't work. I get to a certain point, and it just doesn't. So I just try to go on. But","it's a good thing that it's a piece that you've had for a while. The other thing that's a little different about it is that it's not a very complicate","[M]y father died when I was a very small child, about ten or so, and that was, you know, a very difficult thing. And I never knew him, but I always","a little boy, he's not yet ten years old, and he's just come out of a little nursery and is going into his mother's bed, and she is still in it, but s","my brain is thinking that we don't have enough space for it. It's too large, and it's going to have to go someplace else. But that's not where it's go","the little man, the little man who's sitting there and saying, 'I'm here, I'm here.' And he's not here, he's not really there, but I can't quite","I am sitting in a room and a boy comes in and he says, 'Can I go and sit in this chair?' and I say, 'Why don't you go and sit on that bench","a big tree... and a little boy was up in the branches. He was a little boy and a big tree... The little boy was looking down at me and he said: 'What ","I could almost hear them in the woods. It was like the sound of the wind on the trees. And I heard them saying: 'You can't do that, you know, he's not","I'm here in the darkness, in my room, with no lights on. It's late. I think it's after midnight, but it's hard to tell. The only sound I can hear","this is the door of a cottage. It's a little bit open, just enough to let me in. The air smells of flowers. I can hear the music playing. I'm listenin","I've never been to that place, and I wonder if I ever will... and I think it might be a good place to go and sleep when I get there... that would be a","I was thinking about this story, and then I realized that it's not a story about the past, but about the future. It's not about a boy who is lost, but","I have a theory that you and I are the same, you and I have the same consciousness, and that we're both parts of the same thing. There is no differenc","And the woman, she's just so ... she's ... she's so ... she has just ... she has such ... such ... such ... an incredible ... an incredible... I'm try","and I just remembered I had a friend who has a boyfriend who works in a shop, a record shop. That was just something that I remembered that was kind o","and then he gets up and goes to the bathroom, and then he comes back and says to the doctor, 'Hey doctor, I feel like shit. I think I'm gonna die. I'm","it's like that scene in 'The Princess Bride'...she's saying that the way she died is in a way that she's going to be dead...and then she's saying she'","I'm in a cave. I can see a torch in front of me, and I see the back wall of the cave, but the wall is black, it's pitch black. And there's","I've been trying to find a way to do a think-aloud study on the phenomenon of spontaneous thought, but I'm not sure how to proceed. I know that one ap","I'm imagining myself, I'm a bit worried. I'm imagining my children's birthday. I'm trying to imagine what they will want. My daughter's going to be th","we talked about the fact that you could also do this [spontaneous thought] when you're thinking about a problem, or when you're writing, or when you h","so you could ask a question, and you could get a question out of somebody, and then you could just let it be, or you could say something to that perso","And it is something about how to be, being the opposite of not being. How to be, and how not to be, which is not to be. It is not the same thing as th","I feel as if I'm being drawn in and pulled into a very deep and mysterious and beautiful place. I can feel myself being drawn in, but I can also feel ","there is a movement that is taking place, and then suddenly the movement stops. And then you feel as though you are just waiting and waiting, and ther","there's no reason, that I can think of, for anyone to ever be here, to be on this planet, for this purpose, just to be a spectator in the theater of l","I have been thinking a lot about the possibility of the mind being a real substance, and I have been thinking about the question of whether it is poss","[I]t's just like the sound of wind in the trees, or wind blowing across the surface of water, or just a wind, or any other phenomenon, any sound that'","and I don't think I'm gonna get to have any more children. Because my mother and father, and my children, they're all gone. And it's almost like I'm l","I'm a little nervous about that. That was a little bit of a shock, because I was really hoping that when I got into the house I would be able to stop ","and what would it look like if, you know, all of the people that were involved in the conflict that is the current situation and what you see as the c","I'm kind of afraid of death. I've always been, even though I know it's a process and a good one, you know. It's not a negative experience, it's a posi","and there's nothing left of that world. All these people have died, or been turned into the stone creatures that were the first people and I've lived ","and I think that I'm in a lot of trouble. I'm in trouble. I can't go back. I can't come back. I have to stay here. I have no other choice","the child is lying on the bed, with its head under the pillow, its arms wrapped around the pillow... and all I hear is, 'The child is dying'... The ch","and, of course, I'm not sure about anything at all, and it's a great thing not to know about anything. It's so much better than knowing, even the leas","what a strange thing, that what I am seeing now is a repetition of what I was just thinking about. My hand, in my hand is a cup. I am holding the cup,","you were asleep, but not in a dream. And then the dream was, you know, like waking up, the same thing... and then you're not there, you're just in the","[s]ince my first encounter with the idea of a 'personality'... I have come to believe that this is a thing that can be seen and understood and even pe","you know, I'm trying to come up with an idea for a film... I'd like to make a film about how to become an artist, you know, a film in which I would gi","the usual thoughts about the work that I have to do today, and then I get to work, and I go to my office, and I work, and then as soon as I work I try","I have an idea, an idea, a thought. I could buy a bicycle. I think it would be good for me, if I bought a bicycle. It would be good exercise, and I","the person is still the same person...you don't know who the other person is, you don't know what the other person feels, you don't know whether the o","I'll talk to myself about this. I'll say to myself, I'll try to be calm, to be calm. I don't know why I'm calm. I want to be calm for","and I'm in the office in the city. I can't remember where I'm in. I'm in this room. I can see the other side of the room. It's full of shelves","it's like a blank, and then when I think it's dark, it's black...but there's nothing. It's dark, but there's nothing to be seen. It's like a","I'm on a bridge somewhere. I'm on a concrete bridge. I think it's in the middle of a road. I'm standing on it looking down and I'm thinking about all ","I'm waiting for my friend to come, I'm waiting, I don't want to be left alone, I'm not alone, I don't know what's going on, it's like I","I can't say, I'm not going to say anything at all, I don't know why. I can't remember anything, I can't think of anything, I don't feel like thinking","I was in a house of worship, like a church, or maybe a mosque, and it was quite dark and I couldn't see anything. But then I saw this woman, dressed l","I remember the night, oh yes, I remember the night when you came to my house, and you asked me if I would marry you. I was a young girl then, and I ag","it is just like the music. You can't play it again. You can only play it once. Then it's finished. Then you've got nothing. And there's no place to go","there are a lot of people, but you know, you don't know anything about them. You don't know who they are, or what they have done. You don't know what ","and we'll come in from the front door, and you'll look out there and you'll say, 'Is this for real?' And you'll start laughing and crying and I'll sta","there is a man I know. He's a very good friend of mine. We used to go to school together. We're old friends. He was in a car accident. It happened jus","And I said to myself, 'This is what you have to do, you have to tell them that you were very sick, and you were very weak and you didn't eat enough, y","it's just an empty life. It's like you're on a stage and you're performing and you're not aware of it. You're just there and that's what you're doing ","I remember a time when I was on an aeroplane. The air hostess was taking the money, and the pilot was standing in the front, and the captain of the cr","I'm driving in the car, and there's a truck in front of me, and the traffic's moving pretty slow, and the truck is trying to pull out of the stop line","and that's the other thing, you know, we don't know what's going to happen to us. We don't know, you know. I don't know if I'm going to be","and so on, and I just want to be a mother. It's like, I was just saying, I was at work today. And I think it's interesting. I just think that a","so I guess I'm in love with my daughter, I love her dearly and I love my husband dearly, and I love all my kids. I feel like I love everyone in my fam","the one thing I've wanted to do all my life... and I know what that is, I know it, but I'm not going to be able to do it. That's the only thing","and it was something I used to do a lot, but I don't do it anymore. I have been on a long journey with myself. I used to have all these relationships,","you know, I guess you can always go back and sort of think about those times, you know, and remember those times, but there's only so many of those ti","I was watching a movie in a theater, and the guy was talking about the future, and the future was going to be much better than the past. I had this wh","and then my son, he's only like three or four years old, he was always like this, but then I don't know what happened. I don't think that it's the sam","And then he was really mad. He was so mad, like, he was like, you know, he was really, really mad. So then he, then he got really mad, and then","and then I go down there in the winter time when it's really freezing and I know people will think I'm nuts because it is and I was like 'Hey, you kno","the thing is, they were just talking and I was thinking and I thought, you know, I don't think it's, it's like a, it's a, it was kind of like","and that's how I think, well, it's a little bit, it's not as fast as the others but I have a lot of things in my head. So I'll be, I","[it's] a whole bunch of things that I've learned from you, uh, and uh, and you know, [it's] funny cause I feel like [you're] trying to","my whole life is like a book of ideas that you can read through, and sometimes they are good and sometimes they're terrible. But all the stuff I think","you know how in the olden times they used to be able to have a telephone line but now they don't even have those anymore. I think that's an interestin","it is so obvious in my own experience how many times I am so ready to judge someone, you know, the other person and just get so upset about it and the","I wonder if it would be possible to make a model of the universe that would be so incredibly, incredibly complicated that it would be impossible for u","and this is why we have the word 'certainly' for saying what is absolutely true. And then I thought, it is something that is a lot harder than I thoug","the two are different, and it is precisely their difference that is important. They have different natures. For example, I have this nature to be a ce","and so, as you can see, the difference between what I am trying to say and what I am saying, or the difference between the truth and what I say, is so","It is not my fault that I am this way. I was born this way. And it is not my fault. And, in fact, this is what I am. That's what it means","the man who is on the street with me. A very bad man. He has a knife. It is a very good knife. A very good knife with a very long blade. A very long","a small piece of bread, a very small piece of bread. The bread must be so small that it can be seen, and a small part of it can be tasted with one's t","I've been a vegetarian for eight years. But it's not that I don't eat meat. I eat meat when I go out. I have meat every night in the evening when I ha","the color of the sky is different on different days. It's the color of a window with a gray tint, and I see a green light on the water. It's a light w","And I am a child of the earth and I am a poet, and I am the sunflower that turns toward the sun and I am that sunflower. And I am a sunflower that blo","It's funny. There's this line. It's a little thing. It's just a line that runs between the two hands. It's not a line, it's a channel of power.","the beginning of a poem I'm working on now. And I'm looking at this old picture of you and I. This is a picture of you as a little girl, in a white dr","I have to be really careful, because my hand is going to drop out of my clothes. I know what I'm going to do, I know what it is, what it is. It's","I am sitting here and my body is comfortable and the light is just right and I am reading and I'm writing and I'm thinking, and I'm reading the book a","[I]n the middle of the session, the subject starts to speak in the past tense: 'You know, I had an argument with my mother-in-law a while back, and I'","this is the second time I've read it, the first time it was a good poem. It was the first time that I had read it with my eyes, and I'd been so intent","I just heard a radio talk show last night, which is what I always do before I go to bed, which is not to say that it always relaxes me. In fact, I'm n","It's like the weather. You're just, you're just taking the temperature. It's what it is, it's what it comes in. And it's the same with your thoughts. ","I have just had an idea for a new novel, and I can't get it out of my head. It is so powerful and exciting that I am tempted to write it immediately. ","I was just thinking about this morning, you know, we were just out in the garden and we were talking about the weather, and we were saying that the we","what do you think about, what's going on in your mind right now? Tell me what's going through your mind, what's happening to you. I just want to hear ","I have two good friends here, one from New York, one from Chicago. And I just got back from a trip to the New York area and I'm going to a conference ","I'm in my home town, I'm in my bedroom, and there's this little boy, this little boy who's wearing a dress and a hat and a little skirt, and I don't","you know how much I love you, I know it sounds stupid, you know, because I don't say it all the time and, but I'm thinking about how much I want to sa","the moment that you think of somebody, just say it out loud, say it as quickly as you can, like: 'My mom.' And then say whatever else comes to mind. I","I just said 'I'm happy' and then I said 'I don't feel good.' And I'm laughing because that's exactly what I'm saying to my sister right now. I'm tryin","I know where I'm going. I'm not going to think of anything bad. I'm just going to say it out loud. I know where it's going. I know what's going to","I don't want to be an actor or a singer. I don't want anything like that. I don't even know if I can write anything. I don't know if I want to write","it's funny how our minds work, it's like, it's just, it's, you know, we all have a story to tell. We all have a past, you know. And","I wonder if the body's immune system is smart, in that it has a way of detecting the most dangerous organisms that are getting into the body and respo","And so if there was a need, I could go and do some kind of work, or I could just be idle. I can just go and do the work, and if there's no need","it's a beautiful, beautiful city. Beautiful people, beautiful land, beautiful culture, beautiful everything. And so we're going to have some, we're go","and then there's a lot of thought of the past. I wonder what's going to happen in the future, and there's a great deal of concern about that and about","I wonder if I really will be able to go to this place I've been dreaming about. It's very hard to be sure of anything, it's like that's what happens i","the music is not there anymore...it is like an echo that is not really there, but it's not there anymore, and that's all right, that's fine...I know t","I've been thinking about how many people there are. There are so many people, but at the same time there are very few, and the fewer the more you thin","I wonder if she was trying to tell me something. I wonder if there was something she wanted to tell me. I don't know if I could have interpreted it as","there is something that I thought about the other day, something that I didn't quite put together until just now, and it's this: the fact that everyth","there is a very clear distinction between what I am and what I am not... I have a strong sense of what I am, I am aware of it. I am also aware of what","you know how I was thinking of going back to the world of thought? And I am not sure how it's going to turn out. I'm going back to that, so I am think","I just did it again, I'm in my office, my desk and I just took out my glasses to take a look at something and I just put my glasses back on and I'm lo","we'll be sitting in this chair, then we'll be standing up and we'll be going into this room, then we're going to be in the door, then we're standing i","I can't, I'm just in the middle of something, I can't just go off and think about anything else. And it's just like this, it's a sort of feeling or se","we have to build the thing, I guess...I have to build a thing, a box of some kind, it's like a box. I want to have this thing. I'm going to","I am thinking about you, about you and your heart. I can't see your heart because it is a blue color. I can see the light from your heart through your","And you're a really good teacher. You don't have to do it. You just sit and look and you just have to look at a lot of things. And it's very, it's","my brain, in this moment, is making these thoughts, and these thoughts are making these images. These images are very specific, I see this blue... it'","and he is coming to get you, he is coming, and he is coming into your house and he is going to kill you and he is saying, 'I'm coming to get my own.'","and I want to be an artist. And I can't be, but I want to. I have to do this because I want to, and I know I'm not gonna go anywhere with it","and I want to say something, I'm going to start over again, I'm not really sure what to say, I'm trying to figure out where I want to go, I want to ta","And then, of course, we'll all be here, together, we're going to be here, but we're not going to be together, in a place, because it's not going to","[thinking about] what it would be like to have a dog, or to have a cat...I don't know, I think about it...I think about, like, what I would do","I can't see, I'm blind, I can't see. I'm not seeing. I can see, I can see. I can't. I'm blind. I don't know who","I'm going to start talking, and then you can stop me if you want to. But you don't need to. I'll just stop whenever it seems right. (Pause) So, I","I was in the library. It was late. I was in the last bookshelf, the top one, the top shelf, and I just started looking for something, I don't know wha","a... a... a- a- a... a thing that... a thing... that happened to me the other day... oh I don't know, I just had an idea and it came back","there was an incident with a... a woman, a girl, in a bar... I don't know her name... we had a fight... and she was crying... she was crying in the st","you're sitting down on the chair and you're talking to yourself. You're talking to someone else and you're telling them what's happening, you know. Yo","I remember when my father was in the hospital, my mother would just go crazy. She'd scream. And, and I remember one time, and I don't remember if it w","and then I'm going to be dead, and I don't think that's too far from what I'm going through right now. And I wonder how, how long I've known I was goi","I have a feeling I'm being watched...I'm having the worst feeling of my life...I'm in the middle of a nightmare...I think I'm going to pass out...I ca","I'm looking at my son and he's looking at me, and he's holding my hand. And I'm thinking I'm holding his hand, but I'm not. I'm not holding his","And the thing is that I'm feeling so anxious and so mad... I'm thinking, 'how can I ever tell this to anyone, I can't even tell anyone. And it's not j","this is the end of the line. This is the end, the end of all things. It's a shame. I'm sorry, but this is the end. There is no end, no","this is why I hate you. Why you ever wanted to hurt me. And I'm not even going to go into the things I've done. I have done a lot of terrible things. ","we've never been alone. We're here alone. I don't want to be alone. I know I'll never be alone. But it's my fault. I don't deserve to be alone","a girl, she was wearing a black dress, and the dress was a little torn up. She was also crying, but I didn't see that. I was also crying but I didn't ","it's an interesting thing to say, 'it's an experience, that I've had a lot of bad experiences, but I have been happy and good experiences,' but there'","I'm going to tell you why I didn't come back. I didn't want to be left alone. I was afraid of being alone. I thought that the last time I left, I woul","I remember the day my father died. I was just a small child...and my mother was pregnant with me. She was pregnant with my brother...and she was pregn","The good thing is that I think my mother has just died. But the bad thing is that she was such a good mother and she died without seeing her grandson.","I know there is an eternal life but I have been told that I must wait till I die to know what happens to me after death. So I wait. I wonder if I have","And I have no reason to think he's telling me something wrong. But I know that it's a lie. If he doesn't say it, I'm afraid it's true. And I think","and I said, 'No, it's not the way to do it. I mean, he has to be ready to die for the cause, but I don't know how you're going to","the thought that it's only an illusion. If I don't accept it, it is real. I'll just go on living...just as before. It will all pass. It will be all","The idea of a life in a book, a book that I had, where I was the hero of the book. I was the main character. I was not a hero. I was a victim","And I'm a very young man and I have a young wife and a son who is not old enough to die, and we're going to be old and tired and dead and they'll be o","I don't know, I don't know. It was a sort of a darkened day. We had an old, old house, and they lived there, and she was the wife, and","that's right, I was just thinking I got my little son, the first one I'd had, I used to keep a box of the little red books in my room when I was a lit","I have two kids. One is five years old, and one is nine years old. And they're just... I was just thinking about my son. My son's got two aunts, and","I'm going to write down a few words that are in my head. I'm thinking about how I could use the money I've saved and how I can give it to my sister so","the whole thing has been a real experience for me... I never expected to have something like that. It was like a dream... the way I feel about that no","and there's my sister, sitting in the corner with the book, and I just thought about what I said to her before. I said, 'Don't be scared, we're going ","we'll need to talk about it to her when she gets there and we'll talk about it when she gets back, you know? Well, you'll have to tell her. No, don't","and he had his arms around me, and I couldn't believe that he was really there. He was sitting up against the wall and his arms were wrapped around me","and I had to come back to the old house, because the other house was too much trouble. It was the house that you had to take care of. The one you were","the other day I was sitting at the table and it was a nice day and we had a lot of money. We had a lot, and it was so nice. It was very, very nice","I was looking down at the floor...and I heard the telephone bell. I thought it was my wife. Then I got out of the bed and went down the hall. I went u","the idea of a child that was going to have to play this game...I think we're going to have a lot of fun...I can't wait to get to it...I think it's","So the first thing I'm thinking of is this: that we were talking about the boy, you know, who's got this idea that he's going to be the leader of some","I'm a woman who loves to sing. I'm 27 now. I have a voice like a soprano, but I sing like a mezzo-soprano. I know that I","I'm still thinking about the movie. Oh my god, it's a horrible movie! I like it. I think it's horrible. I feel sorry for the woman. It's a horrible,","and I don't know why, because it's the same. I can't tell you why I don't like it. I can tell you why you don't like it, but I don't","the person you love, I love him... I've been in love with him since I was a young girl. He was the love of my life. And he's dead. I didn't want","it's like a whole lot of people are talking to you, all at once, and it's impossible to stop and think about it because the voices keep going and they","and if I weren't alive, my life would be over. It would be over forever. And that is the only thing that I am sure about, that it would be over, and i","that's why we're here, to see if we're really living life or just playing out someone else's game. Maybe this is why we're having children, so that we","that's all I am. I don't want to go on. I've been there, I've done it. I can't do it anymore. I'm dead. I want to be dead","and then you will be, you will be like, you will know, you will never die and there is nothing you could ever do that will change anything because not","I'm a little disappointed in myself... because I don't know why... because I have never been this disappointed in myself before... and it's the first ","and so we will be friends, no longer as lovers, but as friends who will stay friends forever. But what if you want me back? I am not strong enough to ","the word 'thought' is a word that, in reality, doesn't exist. Because the word 'thought', the word 'to think', is something that doesn't exist in the ","the sense of being present and in the moment in this situation and not just being there to get there somewhere else... but just being there... in that","my head is filled with things I know I want to write down, but I can't remember the words. The words are all over my head, they're not there and I wan","and there's a lot of people that are still really out there. Like the people that you're not talking to. You're just talking to those people that are ","And that was before the pandemic, yeah. So, yeah. I was not thinking about that at the time, but that would be one of those moments where I would thin","And I am not saying that there is a real problem, I don't know, I don't think I'm an expert on these things. I think that we should have a bit more co","I can't wait. It's always something I wish I would've done, but I can't do it, but then I feel a little bit bad, a little bit sad that I'm not","I'm tired of not knowing, I don't know why I'm not feeling something. I just don't feel anything, I'm just like, a piece of paper that's dry, no life","I'm sitting in my apartment right now and I feel really anxious. I've been anxious for a while and then all of a sudden it got to be so much so that i","[the] most important thing I can do is to get the best out of myself, even if it means that it is going to be difficult or unpleasant. I think that in","and then that was it, and then I'm not going to be able to go back to that... I can't do it. I have to just accept that it's not going to happen.","and if I don't I don't want to know, you know? ... I would rather not be able to understand it. And if I were, then I wouldn't have a choice... becaus","and we can make that sound, like a guitar, like a violin, like a piano, like a cello, like a saxophone, like a flute, like a trumpet, like a clar","my name is John, and I am a 28 year old man. I've been thinking about it for a while, but I have never talked about it with anybody, except my wife,","I am here to tell the truth. This is the truth, no matter if it is good or bad, it is the truth. I have no other reason for being here, because there "],["we donโ€™t know anything about the nature of the other mind, so you have to think in terms of the other as a human being, as a person, as a real person ","and then I'm going to get married and I'm going to have two children and they're going to be girls and I'm not going to have to deal with that and the","I don't know, I don't know if that's right. I don't know what I would do if I had the chance, I think I would do the same, but I don't","it's a big thing for us to take time off, even just a few days, in the middle of the year, when everything's going so fast...that's one thing I really","I think my parents, they, when I was little, my parents were really, they really... I guess, my parents, you know, were really strict. They were just,","I went to this place that I didn't want to go to, and it's a small room. And you go in there and there's a wall with the picture of a dog. And the","I can see them running in the distance. That's why it's so beautiful. You know, the way the sun just goes behind the mountains, the way it looks in th","[I'm] going to make a sandwich. [I'm] in my kitchen, and the coffee's not hot, so I'm going to put a cup on the burner and [I'm","it's like an iceberg... it's like a very large iceberg and you can see it at the bottom of the sea. And then, you know, you can't see it because it's ","I'm walking along. I'm going along. And I see the road going away. I see the trees. I see a big tree with a very big branch. It's got a very big","and this is where it is going to be, the river, and this is what's in the river. Oh, no, this is where I'll plant them. I'll plant the trees,","so I have a dream that I will be president one day. And then I'll be president. And then people will come to the White House. And then there will be a","a little bit of water. If we could get some water in here. That's it. Well, it's dry in here. We can't get any. It's all dried up. But","that's good, huh?...It's going to be a good year, huh?..That's good. Yeah, that's good. I know. It's going to get warmer, too","you see, I can't get it together, you know, I can never get it together. I mean, I've been working on it for, for four hours. I don't know what","I've got a daughter in college. I thought I was going to get one in college, and she had to get out of there. And she's got two brothers. She's the ol","and I think of all the things I have to do tomorrow and I think of the car and I'm going to wash it and then I'm going over to see the new neighbors a","and now I'm going to have to go into work tomorrow and I'm not going to get to stay home, so I'm going to start this up, so I'll have to get a piece","I see this little girl and the little boy with the... uh... [blanked out]. And I think to myself, I wonder why? Why? Why does the little boy have to g","we're in our living room. Oh, I think we'd better move to the dining room. There's a table there, and we're going to put the Thanksgiving dinner on th","The flowers on the right of me have gone brown, I know. The one on the left has been dead a long time. I'm going to have to put it in the trash. The o","there was a big fire and the fireman came and the firemen came to put out the fire... oh, there was a fire in the house... oh, they... they... they ca","and I am in the house of the president and I'm standing on the steps and I am wearing a brown skirt and a blue shirt and there are white gloves and wh","and so he said, 'I've got something to tell you, I've got something important to tell you,' he said. He said, 'My brother has just died. I'm going to","I can't go to school today. The teacher wants to put a sticker on my notebook for not doing my homework. I am going to tell the teacher, 'I don't have","my baby, oh, I hope he's getting along with all his friends. Oh, I hope. I hope he won't fall off his bike. And I hope he'll eat his vegetables.","so that's what we'll have to do, we're gonna get married on Sunday...and then I guess we're gonna have to get married on Monday night, then we'll have","the problem was, we couldn't find any food. We walked around everywhere for two hours and couldn't find anything. But we tried, I mean. I was really h","and the car went, and the car, and it went into the garage and I said, 'I can't find the key'. And the dog came and ran away. And I said, '","I was thinking I had a dream. I had a little boy, you know, I had a big little boy. A little boy in a yellow suit. His name was...his name was...","I am sitting in a chair. I have my paper in my hand. I want to ask you some more questions, but I don't know what to ask you. I want you to answer it","we could get our own place here. We could go to the movie every night, and stay up late and watch TV, and go to the mall and go to lunch. We could get","the red carpet is like this. I mean you just... just put it in front of the door and like, you put it in the front of the house and you just put it do","my legs and feet are all numb. I am so sleepy. I want to go to sleep. I am sleepy. I am sleeping. I am dreaming. I am going to go to the bathroom","I have a problem with that. I don't think I have a problem. It's just that I'm a little nervous because I've got to go to school tomorrow and I have t","and then I was gonna go to a party and there was like this one girl, like really nice hair and she was wearing like these like hot pants and they were","I remember seeing that movie, where you know, they had that car chase in it and they had like, a car that went over the bridge and it was like, a, a, ","so you can see, you can see me? ... i'm a big girl ... i'm very very tall ... i'm tall ... i'm fat ... i'm gonna be a big fat girl ...","I have a daughter who's nine years old and she's going to be in a school play tomorrow and she's playing the lead in it and she has to memorize the so","And I'm not happy about it. I'm not glad about it. 'Cause I know that's what I'm gonna do, and my mom will be there, and my dad will be there","And I'm gonna go to the theater and I'm gonna get dressed up and I'm just gonna wear a dress and a dress that I used to wear when I was in first grade","we went to the store to get bread and then we went to get diapers and then we had a baby shower. I want a baby shower and I want to get a dress for th","I am in a kitchen, and the food is a salad, and I'm going to do a dance to it, and then I'm going to turn around, and I think of my sister.","I'm at the park. I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, I think I have a banana in my pocket. I have a balloon. I have ice cream. I have candy.","the baby's baby blanket is blue and pink and he says it's a blanket because it's got the bunny and a sun in it and he's got his doll and the doll's go","and i just...i have the picture in my head of the boy sitting on the floor. He's a boy, about five years old. And he's sitting on the...floor and he's","and we're not going to play with it anymore because it's too small so I'm just going to cut it out with the scissors and put it down on the floor and ","you can make a book, and make it a little bigger. Like you can put a big picture in the front and some other pictures in the middle and then a big pic","we had a guy in our class this year who was, like, really skinny...and then one day, I got in and he was just like, he was really fat and he didn't li","and it's like you're in the forest, and the forest has these really cool trees, but they don't have any leaves, like all they have are like big branch","a man with a hat that looks like a cowboy hat is eating a hot dog and his name is, well his name is like, 'Jonathon, J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N,","it's all just in here.... I'm gonna.... I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, I think I'm gonna go... I'm gonna try to go.... I'm trying to go","the person in my mind is a girl who is very cute and she is a girl I am close with, and we are very close. So she's like my little sister and we are r","yeah, I mean I think that I could get a dog, because, like, I love my dog and my dog's name is Luna. But, I also I think I could get a cat","and then I was like, why the hell would you do that? But I think that's pretty cool and I'm pretty happy with it and that's the one that I put on the ","I have been a very good friend. I don't think that I have ever cheated. I mean, I don't lie about it. I just say, I know I'll never cheat, but","it's all gonna be okay... i hope.. yeah yeah yeah yeah... i'm glad that you're my friend.. and you're always there for me.. whenever i need someone to","i think that is an example of when you could say, well, you know, i do think it's true, but you know, but it's not necessarily true. But i think it's","so I've been thinking about the past few days. It's been kinda slow so far but I don't think it'll stay that way for long. I was thinking about how I ","I have to be careful that I don't go into the same panic I had for the first month when I found out I had to do a presentation. It's so scary to do it","it's just a dream about this whole thing, and I don't know if I'm going to be okay with it and then I thought about the other girl that was talking ab","and then it's like, 'oh I'll just take a random one', and it's like 'okay you're really gonna do it now', and I'll go and make an account and I","itโ€™s like Iโ€™m being thrown around by some weird wind, and my thoughts are just all over the place and theyโ€™re super fast, and I canโ€™t stop them, but t","you don't know how to play the flute, but you can make cool noises like a flute player does, and the other person listens and is like 'wtf?' and I'm l","the teacher's gonna get mad at me for saying something she didn't mean and it's like the whole time she's talking I'm thinking of the girl that got ki","I wonder if she'd want to be with me? I'd probably just drive her nuts but maybe she'd still love me and not be mad? Maybe I'd still like her if we we","i was like, ok, i'll see what i can do...it's not like i can't write songs, it's just...it's a hard thing to put out there, and i","Iโ€™m gonna need an extra cup of coffee right now...yeah, thatโ€™s it. Iโ€™ll grab a cup of coffee and just kinda think about this all day and write about i","you know I'm so angry right now because I have an idea and then I have an urge to stop but I can't because that's what's going on I feel like I can't ","this is weird. this is weird... it's weird... it's not that I feel bad, I just feel... weird, you know like my brain feels... weird... and it's just..","i am so hungry and i was hoping i could go out for food today but it's like, i don't really care, and i don't know. I don't know if i can go","I'm just going to say, I don't know what to do about this situation. I don't think I have the energy to try and make it work. I think I'm just going t","i don't know where the word is but it's a word i've been hearing a lot recently it's just like a little bit of a curse it's a curse word i'm like well","[singsong] Oh, baby, I've been thinking about you... I'm trying to think of something to say, but nothing's coming to me. [sings] Oh, oh","oh god I have nothing to say like what did you just say, uh, Iโ€™m sorry I donโ€™t really know, I have no idea. Oh god. Iโ€™m sorry, I donโ€™t","oh I know it's probably going to be like this and it's gonna be like this because I've got these worries like I'm gonna get a stomach virus because I ","and they're all about a little guy that I can't really remember his name...but he's just like...he's really big. He's...he's like this, this giant...h","I remember when I was 19, I was like 19 years old and I had to go to my brother's house for a holiday. My mom, she's like, my mom","I'm going to watch something really funny on Netflix. I was going to watch it when I was alone in my bedroom, but I don't really want to be by myself.","I'm...I'm kind of having a hard time not having a hard time. I'm not saying that it's a hard time, but like I feel like I'm not supposed to be like","what we do for ourselves, we must also do for ourselves. Like the things we're doing right now. We're doing something right now. I'm trying to work on","and like I said, I feel like I'm not ready for the new job because I don't think I can handle the hours or that it's a job that's just a job to me,","I was trying to think of a good title for my essay, and it's like, I'm just trying to think about it, like, 'what do you want to say, or what can","I feel like my mind is just running through these endless ideas and thoughts and it's so hard to focus because there's like, all these things competin","you know, I mean, it's like, there's this like, this feeling of like, like, like pressure or whatever, or just, you know, like, the like, the pressure","I've been having a lot of these thoughts and I can't even find words for them and I just have these random images or thoughts and I just let them come","I am getting bored... I just think about stuff... I'm sitting here and just like... like... I'm not... I don't have to do anything right now... so I'm","I'm trying to remember... [chuckles] it's a bad day... [sighs] I don't know. I mean it's just a bad day, it's been a bad","And I'm like, okay, so, what am I saying? This is what I'm thinking, you know? I'm like... Okay, so, I'm just like, like... Okay","I'm thinking that the people who are thinking about buying my house are like I'm trying to figure out who is going to buy it. So I'm going to put some","I don't know why people are so angry... like why is there so much... like why... like is there like... is there a point to why people are like this? L","so...so I got...I got...I've...I've been trying to write a novel for a little over a year now...and I'm really struggling. And...and it's just","I think I've been thinking about a lot of things, and I'm trying to figure out how to be less worried about all the things that I can't change, becaus","so I'm watching this video about like the effects of climate change on the birds that migrate and stuff and I'm like, okay, I'm just going to go to a ","I just think about a lot of things at work. So, it's really just a lot of information going in and out. And so, I kind of feel like I have a lot of,","so I just keep going down this rabbit hole of, like, a lot of different thoughts, and it's kind of interesting to see because they're not really linea","I think Iโ€™m supposed to say something, I have this urge to say something to people... I just feel like I have this compulsion to do it, to say things.","and I know I have a lot of stuff I need to get done but it feels really overwhelming so I'm thinking I'm going to try to write a lot of my thoughts do","and I'm like, 'yeah, I'm probably gonna take a little nap, maybe just lay down for like five or ten minutes, but if I get hungry and need to go to the","I think I am still on the train and we are getting off and I am feeling this weird thing and I am not really sure what is going on and I don't think I","I can't believe that's what happened...that's so sad...I'm thinking about going home...I'm feeling really anxious...I'm trying to relax...I'm wonderin","I'm thinking about my life. It's been a lot of work. I've been working hard, but it's been a lot more fun than I expected. I'm happy. I'm trying","I don't feel like I'm having an off day. I just feel like I need a break and maybe I'll just come back here, which is the way it's been. I don't","so i'm in a way, you know, trying to go through some kind of thing and make my life a little better. i'm not sure how. i'm trying to make some money.","Iโ€™m going to do something stupid. Iโ€™m going to go outside and play video games for an hour and then walk outside. Iโ€™ve got like 7 video games. Iโ€™m gon","I think I'm going to do a new version of the show next week. I don't know how this one is going to go. But I think I'll have more fun with it this tim","I'm like, okay, so you know, like, if I were like, I don't know, I've been thinking about maybe starting a new project, maybe like, like, you know","so like, the worst thing that could happen in this movie is the same thing that happened in that one with the guy like he gets in this car and there's","so that's what it's like. It's like if you had a lot of time on your hands and you were like, okay I'm going to read this book and then you're like,","and like in the other podcast, itโ€™s a pretty serious, a pretty serious thing. I feel bad because itโ€™s like, itโ€™s kind of like itโ€™s like Iโ€™m like, it,","uh the end of the day, I feel like I've accomplished a lot today, and I'm just like, I don't know, I don't feel like I'm really enjoying it. But","[the] last day of the semester [and] you have no idea what's happening [in] like four classes. So I'm just going to like try and get through that and ","it's like I'm in a coma, like my brain's just completely stopped. Like I'm just like... I don't know, I don't have any thoughts. I don't... I","I've been thinking about what I'll say tomorrow... I'm going to be going to like 5 classes and I'm like just thinking about what's gonna be on them an","I'm thinking about a birthday party, like two weeks from now. I don't want to have to deal with having to go to the store or any of that. I don't have","I'm actually really tired. I was like, what? It's like, I'm not getting a ton of sleep. So I'm going to try to, like, just do a little bit","I'm like, yeah, I'm, like, if I were to do it, I would just, I think it would be best to just do a full day of like, like, you","uh, you know I'm gonna do well in this class. I got to take it I feel like I'm doing good. And I know that I've studied for the class. I know that","like we talked about, like, with my girlfriend, I was like, you know, we were trying to make a plan for a trip or, or something, you know? Like, like,","you can't do that because then you'll just have like a group chat that'll be like 4000 people and then you don't even want to be friends with 400","like I'm sitting in like a room and like I'm just like I don't know I just like sitting there thinking I'm like okay like so this like so like like I ","So, umm. I don't really want to talk about this. But umm, I am, I'm looking at some of my old music, and I just want to, you know","So I've got this, this idea. Like, I'm thinking about like, you know, like, like a little like, like like a like, like, um, like, I don","I'm trying to think of a way that I can do my job and still be a little bit better about not overdoing things and not, not overloading on stuff. And t","I feel like I'm at the very bottom of my career right now...and I think, I feel like I should be at least at the top or middle of my career like right","i am just thinking about something that i want to do in the next few months so it's sort of a list of things i wanna do in the near future or over the","I want to think of all the ways that I can make money, like, you know, I just started a business and I think I have a pretty good idea of where I wann","And, and, yeah. Like. So I like to have people know that I have my own business and I'm I'm trying to grow it up as I go but I'm like, yeah","I just like to listen to music right now. Like if I'm going to work or just going on errands and things like that, I just want to have my headphones o","my mind is not blank and that's what's exciting. I'm not blank and I'm like a kid playing video games or something and I'm just like I don't even know","and it's like when I'm like watching, like a movie or something, like when I was like on like a school thing, and then there's like a certain part of ","I'm actually like the best, I'm like the best. Like I'm actually, like I'm the best at the most like, like anything that I've ever been at. I'm like","this is where we have a problem. We have to go to the market, but I'm really busy, so I don't even know what to say to her. And it's also because I","and there's my cat, she's the only one in the family who's like that, she's like a human being, she's got a lot of problems, like a lot of people,","I'm tired, I'm tired. And it's 4:30, and I'm still at home. Like, I was just here, I was here. I'm tired because I","and we did the whole thing for three days in a row and I didn't do any of it like that. And then I started to get sick and I was like, I'm gonna stop ","oh, I was having some dreams last night and it was just like in the last dream. And it's like, it was like it was a real bad dream. But it's just like","yeah so I was really, really really really tired and I wanted to go to bed like last night I was like 3am and I was just so tired I had like 5.4.","yeah yeah so I was thinking about the money because like I don't really want to be doing this like all the time right and I just, you know I feel bad ","like, we're like, we are so so, like we just made a big decision for us like we're like we're gonna be like, like we're really just like we're not goi","I'm gonna have to look up the word in my dictionary. You know, I had a dictionary for a while and then I lost it. But I know that it has something to ","I don't know how it's going to happen, but I have a feeling that we're going to make it through it. We're going to be okay. But I don't know. I","I've been having dreams of this like 20 times now that it's the holiday and like it's like you know it's like a good one to get some of your friends o","And then I got my first dog and it was just this huge, you know, like a giant... like a really big German Shepherd. And I named him Lancelot and he wa","like you're talking to me when I'm not even awake or not awake but then I'm like oh this is so funny because then it's like oh you're talking to an as","my mom and dad are really good about being like 'I'm not a parent to my daughter, I'm her mom and I'm her dad.' Like they're just like, 'No, you","like i said, the other day i was like, i think i might have a good idea for a story, like a very long story. So like i was like... i was like I was","and like, like I was like trying to like figure out how like, like, you know like the, like what is like, like what was like the, the like, like you k","oh no no no. Oh no. So you know what I mean. I'm like I'm like... I don't know what happened I'm like the 21st of the month and","and it's like... i've been saying this for years and now it's like i'm just... i'm just doing it because it's like a... like a... just a... it's","I feel like the sun is not on my side, and it's kinda cold and dark here and my skin is dry, and my eyes feel itchy, and I'm like really, really tired","itโ€™s not the right one. Iโ€™m gonna get the wrong one, but then Iโ€™m like oh itโ€™s not bad. i think this is fine. itโ€™s fine. but I know it","yeah, yeah. um, so, yeah. So, uh, like, so like, like, like like like, like so I'm thinking about like, you know like like, I,","my arms are kind of folded here like this and I'm gonna try to get into a comfortable spot. And then I'm just gonna sit here, you know, for like an ho","there's a lot of...like there's a lot to unpack...i'm just thinking about the future and i just...i don't know... i don't know if i'm thinking about i","a bunch of thoughts came at once. I was thinking about my dream last night. I'm wondering if I'm supposed to tell you guys or not, it's a little weird","[I'm] thinking about the last episode of [a show], and I'm like, it's not gonna be here for much longer. I think it's like, I don't know,","you know this was gonna be really hard... like, I just gotta remember this shit because it's hard. I'm gonna probably have to take a break cause I'm n","i mean, what i'm trying to figure out is is it possible to build something that's not just like, you know, a little robot that you can talk to and it'","I was watching a documentary on the history of video games, and the part that's really interesting is the point at which they got to a point where the","oh yeah I do have to say that I'm like not sure that I'm sure that I can do this whole thing for sure I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this","and then I think, you know, this is not a good time to be writing this, and then, you know. It's like you have like, like, like an idea in your head","what's this, uh, I don't know, it's like the other side of the river, so, so it's like, it's a bridge to the other side. And then it","I think the whole reason why I'm still single is because I don't want to get married, and I think it's really not good to get married just to have chi","uh I guess I'd be more worried about that because you know it's a lot of different people you know it it's a pretty big pool of people uh you know the","this is a thing, like, if you're like, if you work for like, a company that's a startup, then it's like, okay, it's gonna be a one year thing","[I'm] thinking about how I would set up a... a video editing pipeline or something like that, if I were starting up from scratch, and what... what sor","yeah. I don't even like thinking about this because I don't know the answer. I think I have the answer, I don't think I have a good answer. Like what ","and uh I guess it's it's a little weird to say that uh, and to use the term like, you know, like, it's like it's like like a like a like an","and then the idea I had, I mean I can kind of explain it, and this is where it gets a little bit more complicated, but I think what I was thinking was","this is like, if I were to come up with a...like a...a, like, a story, like, I could come up with, like, two different ways to tell that story","I feel like the internet has taken over a lot of the traditional methods of social interaction. It's, um, kind of like, it's like a way to sort of, um","like, the new york times, you know, a lot of times, i think that, like, the news is just like, so, so biased. like, it's like, it takes","I wonder what it's like to be in space? And I just don't know. It's kind of strange because, like, the first time I ever really thought about space wa","I wonder what it's like to be a girl in this world. What's it like to be one of the people who are struggling against this system, being like, 'I wann","this is the thing where we're kind of just, we're looking at these like, um, different, different like, um. So we're looking like, um... um. It's like","I was saying earlier, you know, about the way, like, how many times have you seen the same movie twice? Like, when I was in high school and I was in c","like the big picture, the little picture, little pictures, and it's like you're like, you can take these little pieces and like glue them together, li","what's the name of the...yeah, it's something. I don't know. You're like, what's the name? Like, you're trying to do a certain thing, and it","we're working on a project for the university, right? We're working on it, we're like, so you just have to ask if you just want to add a new feature t","and then i was thinking like, is there like any kind of like uh, like, you know, uh, like, maybe like, uh, you know, like, I dunno, maybe","[about 10 minutes later] Okay, so like what is what's a good way to... well, I just thought of a good way. Maybe like just like, like a sort of","So I was thinking about how people, how the culture, and the community and how I feel like I'm always in this constant state of trying to figure out h","the way that we sort of organize our life or think about our life is very much like a tree, so it's a sort of a thing that we start with some core ide","and then I thought of something that I'm actually doing now. I'm taking pictures right now. And I thought that, like, if I had like a huge database of","and it's also kind of like a like a lot of those like a lot of the things that I'm thinking about like a lot like a lot about like my past relationshi","I was watching a video about like a study of like... what happens with people who are like in a coma or something. And you know like if you're a lot o","so you know if you like it like the old movies where it's like a good old fashioned romance and then they go to the next scene like the modern movies,","so it's a little bit, it's a, uh, it's, it's really kind of funny. So, it's kind of funny, but it's not it's not actually funny","and it's like that you have like one thing and it just keeps popping up in your head like the other like you have to have like, I don't know like one ","I know that the whole of the universe is not only an illusion, but it is actually a projection of our consciousness. Everything is just a projection o","I'm sitting here in the woods, you know? I don't know if it's real, I don't care if it's real or not, but I'm in the woods right now,","I was like, okay Iโ€™m going to try this because Iโ€™m like, you know what I want to be like the super powerful one thatโ€™s like super confident and so I w","I've been thinking about this weird thing that happened with me in a dream where I was in a park, like a big, open area, like an open field. Like, I t","then, if you're a tree, you're a tree. If you're a flower, you're the flower. If you don't like that, I can make you like that. I'm","a little birdie told me you had been on this website, so I came here to check. I mean, it's a pretty weird place. I think it might be a trap for the w","I think I have a problem with the left brain, so I don't think I'm really that good at the left brain. I don't know. Maybe that's why I'm really reall","I am thinking about how I'm going to eat my sandwich. I don't know why. I am thinking of ways to make my sandwich a little bit more flavorful. I guess","so... and then there was a guy... he had like a... a black hat... I can't remember who... I think he was like a friend of someone I knew... and he was","we should start the whole thing over, then we can be the real people, not the fake people. And then we can talk to each other, without hiding behind t","a big blob of rubber. I have a big blob. I have rubber. I'm in rubber. I am rubber. I like rubber. I rub with rubber. I can't rub. I","it's like a game of pong where you hit the ball back and forth between two paddles. They have to move in sync and bounce back at the right time or els","1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,","And this is the guy that's been on my mind all day long. He's all the time coming up to my head, and I can't get rid of him. I have a headache,","... ... ... ... [13:56] ... ... ... .. ... [14:01] ... ... [14:13] ... ... ... .... .... ... .... [","uh uh uh uh... uh uh uh um... uh uh ... uh uh uh ... um uh uh uh uh uh.. um uh uh um uh... uh um ... uh uh ... ... uh uh ....","oh my god, a fucking fuckin' fucking fuckin' fuckin' god, the fuckin' FUCKIN' fuckin fuckin god, the FUCKIN' FUCKIN FUCKIN FUCK","I was thinking about how this would work, if you could do this, if I had this ability. Because this would be so useful. If it was possible for people ","[Mumble] Oh [Mumble] oh [Mumble]. Oh no [Mumble] [Mumble], it's like [Mumble] no [Mumble][Mumble]...","that's it, that's it. ... there's a lot of things that would be nice to do... but i would probably get bored with them and not do anything... so inste","I was walking down this road and it was windy. The leaves were blowing all over the place. I was walking and the leaves were getting into my shoes. I ","I don't know, maybe you want to put more batteries in there? I have more batteries in mine, but the one's in your bike battery thingie, have to be on ","and this is just like when i get on the elevator and the door is opening and then i'm like oh this elevator is gonna kill me because it's going down a","I think it was... a... a... I don't... I don't know what I want to say... oh... I can't... can't... I can't say it... I can","[thinking of a song by the band I love the most] oh yes, i'm so glad you like the song i'm thinking of. i know you've heard it. i don't know","yeah, but that's not the most important one right now, my friend said to me that's why he doesn't wanna help me. so i'm gonna just call and talk to hi","I want to start again and this time, instead of starting with my thoughts, i want to start with something from my body. I want to take a deep breath i","if we put the blue light on, then it goes green...it goes blue, and then it goes orange, and then red. It's just a little light that turns on, and the","and now I think of a tree, I see the tree. There's a tree I see, it's not the tree. I see it's not the tree, it's a tree, it","I was at home today. I had just finished cooking some food and was about to go to bed. I decided that I'd try to figure out how to get the cooking oil","a bird. I've got an idea. It's for the bird. I'm making a bird thing. I need a hole. I need to cut it. I need tape. I need string","yeah i guess that's why people say, the second it rains the birds sing... it's like, the birds singing and the rain, i guess they go together, but the","50 40 30 20 10 0.1 0.2 0.3 0.4 0.5 0.6","hmmmmmmmmmmmm....mmmmmmmmmmm.... mmmmmmmm......mmmmmmmmm......mmmmmmm....... mmmmmmm....mmm........mm........mm.......m....m","yeah and then I had to go back home and get the other one and then I put it in the back and I put my stuff back in the bag and i went back outside and","I can't wait for my birthday, which is next Friday... I need to tell my friends and family about the birthday... and... my phone is out of charge... a","the whole thing has been such a drag since I haven't been able to make new friends. I'm going to try and make new friends because I'm bored. I'll go t","I think I'll have a snack in the morning. I'll probably have a cookie or something. And then, I'll probably go to bed at 10:30 p.m. and","and then the other guy just got in my way, and I got like a red light and he didn't so he's like, 'I can go straight.' I'm like, 'you're","uh... what is a bengal... oh... bengal tiger... i got one in my phone.. i don't think it is a tiger but.. it is a bengali tiger","yeah that's what I do, I do like to take naps, but I can't sleep like I used to. I don't know why. I don't wanna talk about it. I","oh, i know that it's supposed to be the opposite for that one but... well, it's all upside down here and the top one is down and the bottom is up and ","And I think it's going to rain. I bet. And then it's gonna be nice and cool and I'll go outside and get some ice cream. And then I'll go get a cone","and it was 1670. Then I had a dream that I had been bitten by a snake. Then I felt my arm was burning. Then I went to a room with a shower","oh, what do I do? what do I want to do? I wanna run! run! I wanna run and go. and go. I wanna go far and go far. I wanna run","what if I had to leave and I can't get back home... that'd be pretty sad but i could always get a pet. ... pet or robot... what kind of a robot? ... h","there was a time when i was an adult i was very excited about life, but i felt like a monster when i went out with my friends because i had no idea wh","I wish I wasn't here. I'm bored. I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep. I wonder how many people are bored right now. I want to go outside and play","so I don't know, maybe I will make it go through my hands or maybe through my legs, then maybe I'll make it go on a table. But it's gonna be weird if ","I was just going to say, if it weren't for the fact that I'm not on a plane, I'd say, that's a bit of a joke. That would be a bit of","the cat and the fish... it's like when the fish are biting... but the fish are too far away so the cat can't get to them... or the fish could be in a ","I wonder if I'll ever fall in love again, because it's been a really long time since I've had any feelings for anyone else, and it's been so long sinc","and that's what happened in my life, a year ago. It was very unusual. I think it's like a dream. But I don't know. It could be, like, a nightmare","I want to have a baby, but I can't. I don't want to be pregnant, but I'm not. It's too hard, the stress, and I don't like being tired","it's like a puzzle piece I forgot about... and i guess i forgot because i don't think i thought about it very much. like i was doing some thinking, an","what I've been thinking about recently is whether a robot like you would be able to do a good job at making a cake. I don't know how you would know ho","oh, you know what I mean...it's the 'in between' of two words or phrases...like, say, the 'between' in 'between two worlds'. That's a phrase,","Iโ€™m wearing a light blue, floral dress, the one I bought last summer. Iโ€™m at the top of the stairs in the hallway, just to the left of my bedroom, and","[A]nd he [my husband] had a new job and moved [from his new city to the place where I am living now] and that is when I got the [new job]","a feeling of wanting to see something... it's like my feet are being pulled down to the floor. like something is trying to grab them... I think I migh","like when the cat goes into the house and then it goes out the back door but then it comes back in and goes into the kitchen and then it runs outside ","the lights are off but the sky is blue. it's a really cold night. there's a yellow bird on the window sill. it's still sleeping, but the cat is awake.","a small firefly dancing, jumping, moving in a circle, looking up at me, maybe it wants to fly into the air, but itโ€™s stuck on the ground, I feel warm,","you're talking to me? huh...i can't think about anything else. what if you're just a dream or something?...or a ghost...no...no it can't be...can","if I could, i would eat all this candy right now but i'm too sick to move. i guess it's too late. oh. i just remembered the party tonight. i don't thi","oh, what are we going to do? we can't just leave them here. maybe they need a hug or something. oh no, they're probably just tired and need to sleep. ","what does it feel like to fall asleep? I don't know. I have been trying to remember, but all I see is this little kid running through a field. then th","oh...I'll tell him I'm sorry tomorrow if he's still awake...I wish I had a present for him, but I don't know what to get...maybe a book he's been","Iโ€™m gonna go to sleep. My stomach hurts. I feel tired. It's 3:30 am. Iโ€™m so sleepy. I feel like Iโ€™m gonna fall asleep right now.","it was... it was... the same... the same as the other... the other day. The other day, I was... I was trying... trying to remember... something... I d","I wish I could think up a rhyme. I'm thinking of the word 'snow' and it's a good rhyme for 'frown' I think. Snow, frown, and me all","And I'm sitting here with my back up against the wall. I'm feeling kinda alone. It's a little scary. I'm alone and I don't want to be alone. I'm tryin","I feel so empty right now. Like my heart is broken, like I've been stabbed in the chest. I want someone to hold me and comfort me, but no one is here ","the mirror's edge is a long way away. I've been running a long time. I'm running to the mirror. I'm a little bit tired now, but I'll be fine. I","and now that we are not together, we could be so so so happy...I wish I had a big dog to play with...I'm really tired...I'm so happy right now, even","I'm looking at the sky, the sky is blue and there's some clouds and then there's the moon and it's very, very, very big and the sun is shining on me a","I could have had a heart attack at the beginning of this one. And I couldn't feel anything. Just the air, and the light. It was a little bit funny, bu","And the most beautiful part of it all is when you look at the flowers and then think about the butterflies and then it makes me want to dream about bu","I feel like I am standing in front of a waterfall, watching the water flow over the rocks. I am underwater, and the water is like a warm blanket. I fe","I have a funny feeling about this. I wonder if this is how the people who live inside of clouds can talk with each other. If they can talk in their he","and he was coming up to the girl and he was like this: and she was like this ","And then she opened her eyes...and then it was all there, it was all in one place...she was so beautiful, and it felt so natural to touch her, to reac","i am looking out over a forest. it is raining a little. the clouds are full of rain and are dark and grey. i feel like a dark cloud myself. i have my ","and I saw myself looking at the moon and it was like a giant pearl in the sky and I was looking at it and I felt like I was inside the pearl and the m","the air is the most precious thing there is, it makes everything beautiful. I am the wind in the trees. The wind is inside of me. I am a river. The wa","and the other half is here. I feel a lot of warmth and joy and I feel so happy, I'm going to start dancing with this memory and then it's going to tur","you know, you know you're doing a great job, but you just gotta go all in, and that's all I know, and i wanna go all in and all that stuff, but i","the black... the black... [the black] black... I... the black of the night and the black of a black hole... black hole... the black hole is the end of","there is something in the back of my mind I can't find the thought of... but if I go there for a minute, it will come back... i'll be all over it... o","I am a tree of love that grows on a mountain of sorrow. My leaves are falling off and my roots are growing longer, deeper. I will find my way to the b","I feel like I'm a rock and I'm in the water. I'm in a river and the river flows around me and it's very soft and very wet and I'm like a rock.","a man walks a beach, he holds in his hands a green stick, a stick that's almost black, and his hand is burning, the fire is in his hand, his fingers a","in a deep, dark ocean of blue. And here in front of me, the sea, and the sky, and the clouds, and the birds are all dancing, all together. And a littl","And, I think about a new beginning, a new life. And the world is very beautiful, the sun is shining. I can't see my hands, but I can feel them. The su","I'm on a road somewhere, I'm walking along the road and I see a very beautiful sky and the sun is setting, I see the sunset and the stars and the moon","and now we see this city that I have come to and the mountains are very beautiful. They have a beautiful green colour. The sky is very blue and it has","this is my book, this is my heart. this is my body. This is the book of my body. this is the book, this is the body. this body, this book. this","I know you and I are still two people, and that it's not possible for us to become one. But that doesn't mean you are not there in me, you are there i","It was a dark night. I was alone. I sat at the window of my room and looked down at the ground, at the streets, at the houses and at the gardens, and ","And the stars were laughing... And the moon was sad, she didn't know why... And the sun was laughing, because he was happy, the universe was full of l","I don't understand. I am standing here, with you and you are standing there and the distance between us is a big black void. And I see this void. And ","I'm going to make a little speech for you. I have a small garden which I have been cultivating in my heart and in the garden of my soul. It is full of","and now there's this other voice, saying, 'the girl, she's a child of light,' and I'm saying, 'no, no, no, the girl is a child of darkness","but in the morning they were all gone. ...The water was very cold, very very cold and the air was freezing and the snow was everywhere, it was like a ","and then it gets like this, it goes on like this, and the next day it looks like this. Then it goes back like this, then it goes on and on, and then i","the first time i remember being in the shower was in the very beginning of the summer vacation, in the beginning of the school year. My sister came an","there is a lot of energy here, a lot of movement, a lot going on, and that is the feeling I get from being here, and the feeling that I get from looki","[the] sound of the sea, a wonderful sound. I was looking for that. I've always wanted to see the sea. And I'm looking for that sound now. It's here.","I see the same face, that of my beloved one, a woman I met in the desert...a long time ago... I want to tell you of my experience of this woman and he","I'm not sure how I would put it into words... how would I... if I were to describe it in words... how I would describe it... it would be difficult... ","a sense of feeling that it's important that we can do the work. ... It's not that I am going to make it better, but I'm going to make the process of w","I have a very beautiful mind, a very beautiful heart, I want to think in this beautiful heart and this beautiful mind. I want to make it all into musi","there is the part that is you, and the part that's me, and they're in a constant struggle. There's an internal battle. I was really beginning to wonde","I have to find out how to say that... I have to write it... how can I put it in words... I can't do it with my own words. But it's there. It","this is a very important subject. I cannot understand it. I know it's important, but it's too big for me. I can feel it's in the big and the small and","I'm sitting in this chair and I feel my feet on the floor and my toes are feeling the floor and I am getting this feeling of my own self being an obje","the image of a clock with the hands set to 22:20, 10:10, 8:20. It is a clock whose hands are bent. This","I know that in the midst of everything, I've got a little girl. And I know that that's where I've got to go back to. So I go back to that little girl,","you're not just one person and I'm not just one and there's something that connects you and me, something that we are, something we have in common tha","I am standing on a hillside, looking down at a landscape below. There is a road going down and on the other side there is a house. It is very peaceful","a pair of hands is shown by the camera. They are moving in an elliptical motion. One hand is in shadow. The other is illuminated by light. The light i","the image of a white line running through the middle of a large window, with a light beam shining from the window through the white line. As the image","now it's not just that, I don't see just those two figures, I see a whole field, I can see that field in front of me and behind me, a whole field of l","I'm going to turn this page. Okay, this is the next one. (She looks at a page and the words seem to move in the middle of the page.) Now I'm going to","I've been thinking about this for a long time, and then I've been looking at this and I can't find a way to relate it. The point is that I'm thinking ","the chair I was sitting on ... It is in a room with a small window. It is very bright. I am sitting in the middle of the chair with the arms down. I a","I know a man who, on a certain day, walks a certain distance through a certain part of the city. He sees a certain number of things along the way and,","then I see this small child running here and there, the small child is running from something, is trying to run away, and I am standing at the edge of","the sky has a certain blue. But, I think it's really a shade of purple. Maybe this purple, or that. Or maybe a shade of turquoise. But it's not, I don","it's like the film of a memory, but with a more emotional feeling, almost a tactile feeling. It's more vivid. It's like a three-dimensional image. Lik","The color is now red... Now, in the right corner, there is a green leaf, a small green leaf with some texture. There is some texture. ... There is a g","I see a field of wheat and then some cows, then some people, then I see a window with a tree and a boy on a boat, I see the river, then I hear the rai","It's just the... the... the feel of the... the lightness... the... a... a light... a light, and a... the... just the... just... the... you...","and I have this other one that was just a few lines of script that I wrote out on paper for you to read it on, and that I was going to try to type out","and then there's the one where the man's got the big wings on and he's in a big wheel of fire and he's moving and moving and the other man's got a big","I was walking down the street. There's a bird in my hand. There's an umbrella and it's falling. I'm holding it up with my hand and the umbrella is fal","I don't know where I'm going, I don't remember how to drive. I'm going to have to look in the mirror, find my way through the trees and around these b","so you go over and you get a big lump of coal, you go back to the store to get another piece of coal. So then you get the piece of coal and then you s","just a little bit. I'm trying to think of a story, and I'm trying not to think about it. I'm thinking, I don't want to think about the story. I'm","I wonder how the sky would feel if it were a person's face. I wonder how a person's heart would feel if he had an entire ocean of blood in it, and the","I remember a time I was sitting on the couch, and the whole floor was covered with leaves, like this, and my brother and I were playing in the leaves,","I wonder how many times I've seen this page? It's been in my head so much, I wonder how I would get it to my feet, because it's a really good page. I","and then he did it again and again and again, and then she did it again, and he did it, and then they did it, all over again. And he said to her, '","... the smell of rain, rain falling on the roof of the house ... the smell of the rain on the roof ... it's coming down ... like a carpet, falling dow","just a thought...a thought...a...a little boy and a big old dog...little boy and big dog...running around in a meadow. Little boy and big...and a big.","it's been a while, it's been a long time. I've been thinking about things, and I was thinking about this tree, I was thinking about my tree, it's a bi","It's funny how you can't just put things down. I mean, there's so many things going on that you don't just put them down, you have to say them out lou","I don't know what it is, but I have an image of my brother, who was born when I was two. I don't remember much of him, but I do remember when he died","I was watching my mom getting ready to go to work and I was sitting there on the couch and she looked at me and she said 'I'll be home in 30 minutes!'","[laughs] I was going to say I wanted to go to the beach, and then I changed my mind and decided I wanted to do something else, so now I'm saying I'm a","I've got this big fat bear. And this big fat black bear is holding a little baby, and this little baby is wearing a pink shirt. And this baby is holdi","I am in a small room with a green wall and I am in a room with a small bathroom and it has a purple wall. The bathroom has a toilet and a sink. The ba","the ice cube in the cup is on the table and then I remember that we have to get that one out and then I want to get a piece of cake and I want to make","you can do a lot of different things with your hands and your feet and your tongue, and your nose, your mouth, and your hands, and your feet, and your","I can see him, and his eyes are big. And they're blue. They're kind of a dark blue, like a gray. And they have brown eyebrows. And he's got big black","it's like a boat, it's like an... it's like... a boat, and then it's a bird. And then it's like a little girl with her dress on, like it","a bunch of chicks are having a party and they're playing in a tub of water with their wings and feet and all of their claws are out and they're jumpin","the moon, the moon, the crescent moon, the full moon, the big moon, the little moon, the blue moon, the yellow moon, the red moon. The moon, the star","and then she was a baby. Then she was a little baby. And then she was little and little and little, and then a little baby girl. And then she went awa","I remember when I was in elementary school and I was just a little kid and I remember when I went to bed and I just sat on the edge of my bed and I wa","and I think if you took all those little ones together like that they would make a big one. I wonder if it's a baby. It might be a baby because a baby","I have a little boy who is five months old. And we have a baby brother and she's only four months old, and then I'm gonna be having a little baby brot","what we did last weekend. It was nice. I thought it was a beautiful day. I'm glad it was sunny. It was a nice sunny day. I went to the store. It was","the red dress and the red dress on the top, the one with the one with the red bow in the middle, it looks so nice, it would be nice to wear it when it","the water is blue and it looks like a pool with a little boy in it...I have a dream about a pool...I love swimming...and the pool is blue...and it loo","and then I was looking at the floor and then I just started counting down from 20 and then I started thinking about what to do for my birthday and the","the grass is so green in the garden..it's like a jungle...I was talking to my friend and we were like talking about this and the next thing I know it'","I'm thinking of going for a run tomorrow, because it'll be hot and I need to cool down. I should eat some ice cream. I think I'll go get a chocolate i","[sigh] I've been trying to go to the bathroom but it's just a bit sore because I had a bad stomach virus last night and I didn't go to the loo a lot","and then my mom has been super busy, I think she's been working hard, but I'm trying to go to the beach, but then I just have to stay home, I don't re","I have this thought that I need to go back and get more eggs and milk. And I have this thought about this cat in the window that looks so sad. I wish ","[I was thinking about my book today and the things I needed to do. I'm going to have to write about what I did in my dream today. I'm going on a trip ","I feel so tired right now. I've been working so much lately and I don't know what to do with myself. I've decided to go back to school and get a degre","it's funny, like this one, like this...like a...well like a...it's like...it's...what if...I'm going to be late again...and then...what","and you know I told you I was going to go to the gym with my friends for my birthday? Well, we went, but then I got sick. And I wasn't feeling to good","the most important thing is that you feel like doing something and it's just not happening. I mean I know it's gonna be fun. I'm excited about it. I m","this is me in my bed. I'm in the middle of the night. I'm... I'm in my bed, and I'm... and I'm thinking about... I'm thinking... I","and now I'm gonna make a bunch of origami cranes, I'm gonna have the little baby sit with me, I'm going to get to the pool today, and then I'm going","I was in a class last year and there was a boy...in my class...and he was...and I was on the team...and he...was on the...and he is really good","I was at the dentist and...I'm going to school to go to college and...and my boyfriend...and...and he's a year ahead of me and...and he...he's not","okay. I'm gonna have to do a thing. I'm going to have to do like a thing. Um. I'm doing a thing right now. I'm trying to figure out like a","I think the idea was that you have like a vision board and then you have like your goal and then you use like your calendar and then you post the pict","you know I think I'm gonna get the best in a couple days. I'm like a million. I've been looking at a lot of things. I've like seen some things and I'm","this is all like what happened in the movie 'I, Robot' and I'm like, yeah, this is the same thing that happened in that movie. I've got the book too s","[I'm] in a house with a bunch of other people, and there's like a lot of them, but we're just standing and there's no one else around, but then we're","I think about my other life. I think about it being a thing where I'm like, I'm a girl on an adventure and we're gonna go on adventures and be a group","And I'm going to be an editor of this year's comics anthology and I'll do some comic reviews for the website and I don't know if that's a lot of work ","so if you're having a really bad day and you need to vent to your friend or whatever and you don't know what to say because you're like, okay, so I'm ","I've been watching a lot of movies lately... I was wondering how do they do that... like when someone is talking, and they have someone like like, jus","and you know, there's, I just, like I was, I was at work and I was like, I don't want to talk to my friend, so I'll just tell them you","so yeah, i'm in a podcast right now. i'm listening to this podcast about a podcast, that i'm on and i'm like, oh wow. and then i'm just like,","I think it's gonna be good, I hope, like, I think I might make it. I'm going to go out with this guy and I'm gonna do it. I don't know","I'm going to talk about that now, because that's kind of what I think about when I'm doing this, you know, like, I'm trying to like, like, just like,","I'm going to ask my daughter to join me for my birthday party. I'm going to have a party for her. I'm not going to have that for her. We're going to h","and then I'm like 'I'm like, like, like a 90% accurate like, like I think I can do this, but then I'm also like, like there's this","I just like the fact that I was able to kind of go into my own thing without having to think about what other people might be thinking or feeling or w","yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do it, I think I'm just gonna do it. No, I'm not gonna. I think I'll do","and then when he was like, 'I think you're right, okay. Let's do this thing' and then he was just like, 'Okay, so do this thing. It's gonna","i think it's gonna be a good game today i just hope they don't mess it up. I don't think they will. They are so good at it. And I'm excited because I","oh, I'll be doing some gardening tonight. My wife's gonna make me take pictures of it. I'm gonna like the fact that I can do something with my hands, ","I'm starting to get hungry. I could probably eat some pasta. I'll go grab a box of pasta and some sauce, and make a quick meal. Maybe some veggies too","I was trying to figure out what the heck the fuck the hell the fuck the fuck the god damn fuck the fuck was going on... so I took a bath. But the wate","I wonder if there's a way to make the coffee pot sound better, you know like if it had a nice little melody when it's boiling. I mean, I like the soun","the thing that's making me want to cry right now is that I've been thinking about that you know the whole day and you're like, 'oh well, that's good' ","I've been thinking about how it feels to be a parent and how it feels when you're not a parent, and how you're not really a parent and then you're a p","I have to write my essay for English class today, and I'm already in the zone, and I know I'll do fine. And I'm gonna make sure I eat healthy and get ","the house is big. It's just the size of the house. But it's not the same as the house that you saw. Like the house that we went to in the summer and i","so we have an extra year to get it right? No, they're saying they'll be done by the end of the year but it'll be like that for two years so we have tw","you know what my problem is? I'm really trying to get over being really negative, but I think I'm having a little bit of a hard time with that. Becaus","I'm sorry, I don't know how to say that. I was talking about the people that live in the houses. I don't think it's a good idea to talk about them. Li"],["there are some things I can't think of. Things that I know but can't. I can't remember them, they're just not coming. I don't know how. I think they'r","I want to put it on the shelf, because it's a bit heavy, and I can't carry it down. But it's on the bed, and it's got to be taken down to","the thought that I should have asked my boss to let me go back to the hospital, because I really want to be there, and I just didn't have the energy t","and when you get older, I really, really want to come back and do that. Because when I was your age, I had the same thought, and I went to all the dif","I think I have a dream that I'm a girl and I have a baby... a child... I'm going to have a child... that I have a child, a boy, a son,","And I am not so sure that I am really doing what I want to do. I really don't know what I want. I am so happy to have found you. I have never been so","you know I was saying that you have a lot of control over what you are doing, how you are feeling and I know that, and I know you can do something to ","it's just that my partner's not a very good judge of people. She likes people, but she's very good at keeping her judgement to herself and letting the","it was a long time ago...maybe when I was in college. I didn't think too much about my father...I didn't know him very well. I didn't want to. He was","what was I saying? I can't remember. I don't think I'm very good at this. I mean, I'm trying. But I don't want to be. It's very hard","I am going to be a writer. I think that is my only way of getting rid of my shame. I am not the kind of girl that I should be, and I hate myself. I","I'd like to ask you a question. It's very difficult for me to ask it. You mustn't be offended by my question. But it's very hard to speak, I don't","And then I'm very fond of him and I've been thinking for a long time that I'll take him somewhere and say to him, 'Do you want to go to church?' And t","And I wanted to take your advice. You said, 'Don't worry about the money, dear.' That's what I should do. But it's hard for me to believe you can give","I'm tired. I think I shall lie down a moment... [The participant closes her eyes, and rests for about a minute.] Yes, I am very tired, and I feel quit","and I remember how I went into the dining-room when I came out of the cloakroom, and how I took the cloth, and how the clock was struck at five, and h","there are people who have not gone out in the summer, and do not like going out in the spring. I have gone out in summer, but have not seen such a lov","I have been in love with a boy. A tall, black-haired boy. He's quite tall. We were only twelve years old. He used to sing to me. 'Oh, I wish","[I] can see you, that's all. It's the first time I've ever seen you. And if I tell you so, you can believe it, you will see it in your","I feel it's really hard to find anything I can do which won't cause somebody else harm. That's the problem with it. I think I could never get out of m","I was lying on the grass with the wind in my face, and the sun was in my face... I thought of something which I had no reason to remember, and I wante","and that was my mother. I remember that, my mother. That was my mother when she had a child. I remember it very clearly. But I don't know whether it's","and the idea came to me that in some ways, perhaps, I was the cause of it all. If I had never asked her to come home, never told her what she must do,","it was all done, of course, and I was happy to think it over and get rid of the memory, and when I thought of that moment, that was the reason I was a","and the little girl? the little girl from the black and white photograph. No, it was not a photograph. I can't remember what it looked like. She was d","I can't remember the name of the book I was reading; it had to do with a woman and her children, and a man who came to her for shelter. It's very diff","I feel as if I was lying on the bed in the room I slept in at the inn. I know I am not there. The room was small and had a tiny window, and it was","and he had this little blue dress of silk, and it was such a beautiful colour, it looked like a nightingale's throat, and I am quite certain that I wo","a bit of a joke ... a bit of an idรฉe folle. I remember my father, once, when I was little, telling me to take the book to the water. I had a","and the man that was like a snake in the grass, that I thought of. It was a snake, was it? Oh, how he was cunning! I should not have told you the name","you may be seeing something again. It may be a woman, and it may have a crown on her head; but what colour is she, I know not. The sun was shining on ","and he says: 'And he took the rest of my money and ran away, and he got it.' And I thought that he had a little girl, and when he took it he took her","a very old lady was singing the hymn: 'Aloha สปลe.' I couldn't help thinking how kind it was of her to sing it. And that she had made a","that is one reason why the angels love to speak. Because they are very beautiful; but not beautiful for themselves, but beautiful because they speak, ","I remember when I was a little girl and I was reading a book. And I was reading that one by Charles Perrault, and he says of Cinderella: 'She had two ","the two things that were in the air, the one was the snow, and the other was the white lily...the snow, snow, it is everywhere, everywhere. And in the","what you're doing is, you're thinking and thinking and thinking, and thinking, you know. You're just sitting here, thinking about a thing, and you're ","it's like...the stars are going to fall...they are going to come down like rain, and I...I'm afraid that...that the stars are going to...and then all ","and it's so much fun, but you know you can't have it, you can't keep it. That's why it's such a temptation. It's just like the love of money.","and it would be such a pleasure to think of you... but I'm afraid I'm afraid. ... and I think it's such a shame that we can't see each other. ... And ","and there are only these two colours of my dress and it's a little bit strange that my dress is such a strong colour but at the same time not a very s","it's so wonderful to have the thing to play with, and to have the object, and the form, and the colour and the way in which the thing is made, and the","this is something that has been going on in my mind for a few days now...I think of this as being the sort of thing that should have been done before,","there are many things that I've never done before... and that I've always wanted to do, but never managed to, because I've been too busy doing other t","and it was there, and she was there, in this way, and she came in a different way, and I had never seen it before. It is a very beautiful way of enter","and the body of the woman who is sleeping in the water. It is like a fish, a fish which is not yet a fish but which will become one. And the woman's b","I'm really tired and I need to sleep. I think I'll just sleep for a while, and then go on. I'll be asleep in a while, I think. It's a very","there is the big white one, the one in the middle, and it is surrounded by these little, like, white butterflies. And the butterflies are like little ","the earth is a lot like a snail's shell, with an inside of glass and a outside of glass. I saw the inside of it yesterday and the outside of it today,","I see him in his little garden, all in his own private garden, he's got a garden of his own, a whole garden. And he's sitting in the garden and he's l","... ... ... ... I could say I don't know. I could say, I don't think you've got the right idea, I don't believe you know what I mean, you are not","and the others come to me and look at me and they're not good-looking people, they're kind of like the people you see in the back of shops. And they'r","I remember when we were children, our children, you and me, we used to make a little box with the sticks we were given out for wood, we used a stick a","a man is trying to get the girl out of his mind. He has to make her leave his mind, for her to be happy. He is trying to make her go, but she will not","the great moment is when it is all over and you are alone again....you feel so free, you want to go away and hide and make yourself alone, and you fee","this is a bad thing to be like this. You've made a bad thing. And what is a good thing? I don't know. I can't see it. What is the good thing","I don't know that I should have to be a girl to have a boy. I don't think I can have a boy unless I am a girl; but then, I don't suppose I","I know now what I want to do, what I have always wanted to do. I want to be a child again. I want the world to be made of dolls, and I want to make","I will make a table, and in the centre a lamp, with the wax in a bowl, and over the bowl, a little painting of the sun, which shall be held up to the ","and I shall not do it again. I shall never do it again.... No, no. No. Oh, oh, oh, dear God, I did not know I was doing it, I","I think of the morning in the blue-leafed garden, and how I lay in the grass, and it was so warm that I felt it in my toes, and the grass was all blue","the world is a strange place, and I feel the world is very strange. It is very dark, the moon is up, but the world is dark, and very still, and I can'","... ... I was a little boy, a very, very little boy, who lived in a little village with my mother and my father, and a little boy called Jean, and a m","... it's not like it, the snow is white, like it's not snow, it's like white things, it's white and it's not it's white, it's not white.","I saw the old woman with her black eyes and her face with the little teeth, with her great red mouth. And I saw a white, white wall; and I thought, 'I","this is all like a dream, just like a dream. ... It's so sad, so sad. ... I have a little brother, and he's dying. ... He's going to die.","and I remember the way he was looking at her... then, when he got a hold of him, she would call her mother to help her up, and he would go to kiss her","the house of the house, the house of a man. ... a man with a beard. ... A man with a black beard. ... It was a man with black hair, black as ebony.","a little red, white, and blue, or red, white, green, or red and white. I have no doubt about it. They must have the little blue coat on them, and they","I see the house I am living in in my mind. It's a little cottage. I can see the back of it. It's got a thatched roof, and there is a little stream","I thought of the young man, and he said to me, 'Oh, I don't know if I will ever be able to write. I'm afraid of it, of being ashamed of it","and here it is, here it is! Here it is! It was the night of the storm, I remember the night of the storm! We had come to stay with my Auntie Dolly","And she said: 'What are you looking for?' I said: 'I am looking for something to put on the table. I am looking for a thing to put on a table, I have","and you see this face of a little boy that has a little hat on his head, with a big bonnet on his head; he has a bow tie on; you know, I saw him","And so he has a dog and it's a very handsome dog, and the name of the dog is -- but I'm forgetting the dog's name. The dog is the name of his dog,","And there's another place I like, that is near the little stream where the grass grows. It is a sort of little chapel with a cross and a tombstone of ","I had a dream about the fairies in the nursery. And they were all playing on the floor with their brooms, and I was frightened. And the fairies said t","we're all on our own... the world has changed... we're all in a kind of... a kind of war... that we're fighting... the war is inside our heads... it's","a woman in a white dress, a white woman with white flowers, and a black man with a knife. Yes. She was very white, and the flowers were all white, and","It's so beautiful, like a child's bedroom. The color is beautiful. A child's bedroom with a blue background, with all sorts of curtains, and a lot of ","I remember that at first I thought they were all nice girls, and that they all looked alike and they were all alike in their dresses. But the little o","And we'll have an hour. You can go home at seven, and we'll have another hour and then we'll go home and we'll sleep together in my bed, and we can ha","there are so many things to think about that I'm just not going to do that. There's so much to do. So I think we've had enough for tonight. Well, I wa","now I'll be more careful... the flowers, I want to see the flowers, yes. And then I'll have the roses, oh, yes, roses, and then the yellow ones, and","The night sky, there are some stars in the sky. There's no moon, but the moon is up there somewhere. It's all black. And the moon is right up there, b","Now I see a big blue sky, and then a little blue sky, I don't know why, and a big pink sky, and a little pink sky, then a little yellow sky. The","and there was a big hole in the ceiling of this room, and it was leaking so we were all sitting down and we were getting all wet, but it didn't stop t","And the more I think about it, I feel a little bit better. And then the whole thing started to look a little like a bunch of little white things in a ","I'm sorry, I don't know, I don't know. I think I'll try to eat a piece of ice and see if it feels different. I think if I have a piece of","a man with a funny face, and he's dressed up in a blue suit, and he has a hat on his head, and a string in his hair, and he had a funny face with","it's a lot of money that's coming in. Oh, and I'm going to play for you in a moment and we'll sing a song to you and it's called The Moon over the","I was playing the game. And then, there was this. And then there were these two. And then these two came and went and went and the two went and went. ","the lilies of the fields are not spinning. The lilies are not spinning, but the fields are spinning, and the lilies are in the fields, and they're all","I would like to write something now, on this little slip of paper. I can't remember what it was. But I can remember what it's for. It's for a song, an","Oh! I wonder what a toad looks like? I wonder what he would like to eat? I wonder if he would like apples? Oh no! I wonder if an owl would like to hav","and the train went 'hickety' and 'hickety,' and it had to stop in the middle of the woods, so the driver was afraid, and so he put the train away","well, well, I think I might have to go back and try something again. Maybe I won't finish it off. Maybe I will. Oh, I wish I were a little boy again.","Oh, yes. Yes, it's a happy little face! Look! There she is, a beautiful little face, and she's smiling, and I've got a little bit of ink, and","'Oh!' ... 'Oh!' I've been reading all the time ... I was thinking that it must have been a really long story. 'Oh!' it's all going to end ... 'Oh","I remember being in bed and looking up at the ceiling. The curtains were open and it was full of bright sunlight. Then I went out into the garden. The","I don't know how he did it. I don't want to think. I think I have a little bit of a cold, I think. It's all in my head. I don't","the leaves, like flowers, fell, but were not dead, for they were growing up again to be like the leaves above, only they grew up on the ground, and wh","[the participant] was watching a train moving away as she walked on the path, and then she began to sing a song, and then a man with a hat came, and t","oh no, they're not like that. No, it's just like a big sheet of paper, full of lots of beautiful colours, and they're just different coloured flowers,","then I will think of another tree and I will ask the other tree if it will grow into a tree with a big fat trunk that will hold me up like a ladder, a","a bit of grass and a flower in the middle of a dark tunnel, then there are little green, green butterflies and a big red bird comes along and they all","a white house with blue shutters and a red roof, a white house in the middle of the woods, it was all green. I think it was a green house. Then I was ","so I've got a book called 'The Old Man and the Sea', by Hemingway. And the man is called Santiago, and he's got a big fish in his boat. He's","the glass had come down on me. I couldn't stand it. I got up and I said I'll have to have my legs washed. I'd better not, for they were dirty. So","what if it was the other way 'round, and you were the one who had to go into the lake, and the baby was on shore, and you could see him? And he'd be","I think it's like that because when we was in that house, and the lights went out, there was a thunderstorm, and it rained all night, and the wind ble","the baby will come out, and then she'll put it on her back and let it go. It won't come back. You can't make it come back. It won't. I'm","I see it all coming over me, like a big red, white, and blue wave, like I saw on the beach, coming in from the sea... It's a great big wave, and","And what if it wasn't my hair, but my eyes? They could be as red as the apple, or as blue as the sky, or as green as the grass. And they could be","And I remember when we had the baby. And he was going to sleep and he had a light on over him, and I remember his eyes looked like blue glass. And he ","... ... ... and I see it, it's got to be a duck ... ... ... ... I see it ... ... ... there it is ... ... ... it's got feathers ... ... ... its got","a little black woman and a little white woman, they're trying to put out a fire. They have a broomstick, a broom, and a bucket of water. They're putti","well, you know, that's what we have to do, that's our job, but, that's the only way they can do it. I don't like to think of them hurting.","And the poor little mouse, the little mouse, they're all little mice, are they, they're little mice, they're black mice, they run in a little hole, li","and then they had the big white one. Then the other one was blue and the one with the stars was gold. I'll tell you what I see when I'm dreaming. I se","And you don't know what to do. It's so big! You think you'd better have a new dress on you for the party, but you don't want to have it on the floor","I have a picture in my head. It's a picture of a man, he has got a lot of long hair and he's got a beard and he's black. He's sitting on a","I'm sitting on the beach. There's a little boy... a little boy with red hair and blue eyes. He has a yellow bow tie, and a red shirt, and he's just si","I am the old man... I am the old lady... I am that young man. I am the black man with the little hat. I am that girl who went to see the dolls. I","The king. He's a good man, he'll do for a king, but not for a friend. I'd have liked to have him. I'd like to have him here. I've","I got in the car and we took off, and we took a wrong turn, and we stopped the car, and went through the woods, and came to a house, and it had a gard","this was a man, he had been a farmer, he had a wife and five children and he had a dog, I was going to tell you about a dog that he had, I don't","and the young girl was dressed in a white dress, with a red ribbon in her hair, and a white apron, and she had two white bows in her apron, two white ","we have been over the field, but the ground's very soft, it's almost as soft as mud. Well, they must have been very careful, they mustn't have left an","the same old song again. I've never heard it, never heard it. Why, there's only three words in it. What is it? Oh, I don't know. What is the","and I felt her hand on my shoulder and she said, 'Well, my love,' and I said, 'Oh, darling, what are you going to do?' and she said--I don","I suppose if I wasn't so far away, I'd take you by the hand, and I'd say, 'I am your sister, you silly little thing, but I can't take you","I think, I'm a great girl, I've got a great brain, I've been a good girl. I've never done a bad thing in my life. I'm always kind to everyone","you see I can't ever get up. I've got to go to bed at twelve. That's the only way I can get up in the morning. And then we're going to get up","I remember that old day that I went and saw the girl. And we took our hats off and we went into the ballroom, and we had our little dance. I don't rem","I have just had a letter from my mother. I shall have to see if I can get it post-carded to-morrow morning, so that I may post it when I go in for the","The last time I was in a hotel I had to take the lift. They weren't nice. I like going up and down and up, in the lift. And you've got to ask the","I thought it might be the other one, with the blue dress, or the white one with the blue sleeves. I can't remember who the other one is. I know, I kno","it was just like the first one I think... you know the first one... she was just the same. And she looked at me... she looked at me like I was her mot","the room is getting hot and I wish I could have a glass of iced water, and my face is getting red. I wish I had something to cool my face with... I do","I am sitting in my little room. There is a chair opposite to me. A big chair. A chair of brown wood. A little carpet on the floor. There is also a lit","and the second one I wanted to do was to go down to the bottom of the river and then back up again and then get the water, but I was thinking of the l","I suppose that's the trouble. I suppose that is the trouble, isn't it?... I was going to ask you for some more of those biscuits, because I had had a ","well, that was funny. And I wonder, when we went to the concert, why you didn't want to have me at all. I used to think that we would always have tea ","it's not so good; it's not so bad, but it's not good. It's like a sort of big fat thing that's in the middle of the road and you can't get","I was going to be in New York. I was going down there to be with you, I was going on a train. I'm going to be on a train, and I'm going to","you know, there's a lady I know in the neighbourhood, and she has got a little girl, who's five, and she's very nice, and I don't think they've seen m","we're going to have to go and see Mr. White, Miss, isn't we? I'll send for the doctor, and he'll come here. 'Tisn't such a bad","I think that's very kind of you to offer me this job...I should tell him how to do that, though...I could never be his mistress...and I should never h","well I was at home then, and I said, 'I've got to see that girl I met the other day.' 'Yes,' he said, 'you're going to do something,' '","and I've seen that one before. I saw it once when I was little. I remember it. It was in the house and I remember I was there when you were born. I ca","I'd like to write a book about it and maybe send it to the magazine. But I'm not going to say that. I'm just going to say we had an accident and that'","and then I'm on the platform and I get on and I sit down and the train starts moving and I see all these people going around, and they're all carrying","and I was sitting there on a park bench in the park with the cat... and the cat was sitting there. I was sitting on the bench with a hat on, and there","and what do you think? what do you have to say? ... well, I've got a piece of paper ... I'm trying to think what to write ... that's right. ... I'll","and the first one was when I got up and got my cup of coffee, and I put my hand in it and the cup was hot and I had my fingers in it, and I had to","and the doctor went into the doctor's office and said, 'I'm here to see Mrs. Davis.' And Mrs. Davis got out of bed and she said, 'Oh, dear, yes","I'm thinking of a place I know about, and it's very, very beautiful. It's down on a river, and there's a very beautiful hotel there. ... It's called t","It's really funny. There are these little bums over in the back, all dressed up, and they're having a dance and singing songs. There's a band and a lo","oh, I'm going to go down, down, down into the mine, and down a long, long way into a room, with a big fireplace and a big hearth, and lots of","Oh, yes, yes. Well, I'll try and find out what they're going to do. I'll see if I can find out where they're going. I don't know if I","I had a dream that I was a little girl and that we had been to the circus. I had been to one of those little shows in the open air, with the big top a","I'm doing this because I've been thinking about the people who are out in the country, who are coming to see me. And I'm thinking how they'll see me w","And that's another thing. When a fellow goes in the Army, and gets a gun, and doesn't have any money to pay for it, what does he do with it? He gives ","they're out of my way and I can do it myself. It's a fine day and it's not going to rain. I've got my old raincoat with me and I can wear it","all the little girls, I always felt that. I wanted to get a dog and a little pony, and a little donkey and a little oxen and a little horse. And I use","I can't understand them. They all say things like, 'Do you remember that time you went down on the lake? I was in there and you took my kite and put i","and the thing is, if I'd have a dollar for every time I said that, I would be a millionaire. And I wonder how much the little dog weighs. I'll bet the","the other thing that I like to do is to make little pictures, and I did a little picture last week, I think you might like that, I can remember it. I'","what I remember about a party I was at once, they had a band, and I didn't remember what they played. It was at the home of Mr. and Mrs. G. And I","and now I'm looking at the paper, and I'm wondering how the rest of the class will be. I don't think they'll go out and do a party or anything. They m","I have to go now, and I hope I can get everything done, and I have to write the report, and I wonder if I'm going to be able to write the whole report","and then I can't think of the name of the town and we can't go there because the name is going to be on the paper and the town name is on the paper so","I wonder if they'll change the name. I think it's going to be the...it's a little too late, so it's going to have to change the name, but I can't","I like this movie that's on in the evening. It's a movie about a girl and she and her friends they have to go to a party and it's a surprise. I want t","you know, this is funny, I just went and bought a little dog. I'd just got a little dog for the kids, but they couldn't take care of her, and my siste","I was in the city, and I was having a date, and we were talking, and he was asking me, 'Are you having any trouble at school?' and I said, 'No.'","well, I'm talking about the color. You know, this is one of those things that you're supposed to be the color, and then you're not, and then it's supp","I was in a swimming pool, I was swimming, it was the swimming pool at the swimming pool...I was in the pool with my arms out...I was trying to swim, b","what's the word that starts with an H and ends with a T...? That's the word I'm trying to think of... what's the word? What's it called...? I've","I was thinking about the snow and it was all white... and I was thinking... like I was thinking of a... like a... a snowball and it's... like I'm gonn","I wonder if it's the end of the world. I think it's going to rain. I remember I did something with a balloon once. I wonder if my dad would like to ea","I'm just having a moment, right now. Like, I'm just having that moment, you know, you're having a moment. And I'm, like, just thinking about, like,","I don't know why I'm in here. I'm not sure I'm going to be here again. I'm going to eat a lot of chocolate. I don't think I can eat it","I want to go to the beach with my family tomorrow...I have a meeting at 10...I need to clean my room...I remember eating ice cream at the park...I nee","and the last time we did a think aloud was a couple of weeks ago. I'm sorry, I just realized I need to brush my teeth. Oh, and I also need to get some","I'm thinking about my math homework, and then I remember I need to send my dad a text saying I'll be late to soccer practice because I have to go to t","I'm not going to get a good night's sleep because I had too much coffee and I'm still thinking about my homework. Oh, and I need to call my mom about ","my dad, uh...uh...what's that smell?...I love you, dad. He's right here, he's right here. I have to go to school tomorrow and I'm not","what's 79,000? Oh, 80,000 is 800 times 100. So, 7900 is like","what a weird story. ...it's not weird though. ...it is weird. ...what about that? ...what about this? ...it's the same as this, right? ...oh.","I donโ€™t think thereโ€™s any such thing as a bad memory. Some memories are better than others, but every memory is important for me. Itโ€™s like having dif","I think about... I have a lot of dreams about being a rock star, but I don't do anything about them. I'm so sad. I mean, I want to be famous. I","I just thought of you. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. I miss you. I miss our time together. I wish we could go on more adventures together. I can'","[thinking about] the difference between a bear and a dog, a bear is much bigger, so if I get a dog, Iโ€™ll need more food. Iโ€™d better not get a dog...","I think that I need to be more careful. Maybe I'm too impulsive sometimes. I remember once I went to this new restaurant, and I just started eating al","I think I know what happened. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that this whole thing is connected to my birthday. It's like, all the ran","I was going to write a blog post about it. Maybe I will. I am not really sure why I am writing this. It's been on my mind for a while. I think it has","I'm sorry my son got a flat tire. He was in a big hurry, and I didn't notice it when he left. It was a Saturday, and he was on his way to the","you know the first time you thought about doing that is you have your birthday and you're like, oh, this year it's my 21st birthday and I'll make myse","a person I haven't talked to in a while, he's a really cool guy but he's been kinda distant lately. Maybe he's just busy, but it would be nice to catc","I wonder what he's thinking right now, is he...? Oh, he's probably at work. He must be. It's... well, it's been a while since we've spoken,","and then I started to think about my mom and how she's always saying how I'm too shy and I'm not, but I am a bit shy. And I thought about how I could ","I've been thinking about my dog, Max, and how much fun we had yesterday at the park. He loves playing fetch, but yesterday he got tired and fell off t","because sheโ€™s not wearing a bra, I guess itโ€™s okay to wear a sports bra...sheโ€™s a bit overweight, but itโ€™s okay...sheโ€™s in her pajamas...sheโ€™s at","i'm a 19 year old girl and i'm on my period so i'm just here to talk about that...i mean like i've never talked about it before and i don't know","I think I'll just... I'm so tired. I feel like I need to sleep. I'm like so tired. Like I want to sleep. But I can't. Like I can't","so it's just my parents and I now, like it used to be. But now I'm just alone all the time, which is sad because I have no friends. I'm really sad.","I like the way my body feels now. It's so... relaxed. I'm going to take a nap now. I hope I don't dream too weirdly. I'm so tired. I","I'm sorry I said that. It wasn't what I meant to say. I'm sorry. I'm gonna fix it. (Sighs.) I'm gonna be good. I'm trying","I guess it was just the first thing I thought of. I mean, I know, I should, like, just sit here and think about things, but I don't like to. I'm","I know what you mean...Iโ€™m having a weird thought...like Iโ€™m imagining that Iโ€™m a zombie and Iโ€™m trying to remember my own name but Iโ€™m just kinda...j","like that. Like that. Like this. Like this, but bigger. Like this... but with like... you know, like a big, fluffy, furry thing... that's kinda, kinda","[I]t's the end of the world... I have to get out of here... I'm going to be late for work, I don't wanna be late for work... [I]","I was talking to my friend, who told me that the food truck they were working with was going to be like a food bank because they were having problems.","I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me, I mean, it's like, I have this problem where I just get really, really bad headaches, and I just, it's ","[My mom is] in her fifties and has an eating disorder, so that's [my sister] and [I] are super worried about it. We don't know how to help","I'm not really into the whole, 'hey, this is how to make an email' thing. I do it all myself because it's like, okay, so I'm going to be like","I'm trying to remember when I was last here, so I'm not saying anything crazy. Like, I was here in 2016 or something, but I don't remember what it","I'm wearing a hoodie and I don't even know what this is. It's a hoodie. I'm wearing this hoodie and I'm thinking about how I'm so cold. I'm so freezin","I've never gotten the right to know if I was in love with someone or not, I never had the right to see the other person. And I don't know if I ever wi","you're saying that I've never gotten that I was born into a poor family, and it's just like it's not even my fault, so it's hard to like, understand l","and then I realized, like, if they had done that, they probably would've found out who it is and they would've gone and they probably would be like, '","I've been thinking, you know, about the past few months, and like, I've been really anxious about this, you know. Like, I just keep thinking about, li","I'm not sure how much I want to sleep because I'm worried about going to work tomorrow, and I feel like I should do something different tonight. Maybe","I'm like, 'wow, I'm not ready for this.' Like, I'm like, I don't know what to expect. I don't think I'm really ready for a new relationship","I'm trying to write a story, and I'm feeling like it's not working. I've been writing a lot lately and I'm not sure if I have a good idea or not. I","And then it was just like a big nothing. I was like 'Okay, let me go with this' and just let it play out, and I was like, 'Okay, I'm just","Iโ€™m on the beach. The waterโ€™s cold. Iโ€™m thinking about how itโ€™s like Iโ€™m trying to cool down. But I canโ€™t because Iโ€™m just kind of like, you know","I'm so bored, I just want to sleep, but I can't because I have a 15-minute shower, and then I'm gonna have to get dressed for a meeting. I don","what if you were stuck in a car and you couldn't open it? Like you're just sitting there. What do you do? What do you want to do? You know, like it's","we're just going to do some things and then maybe I'll go to the bar after work and just get a drink and then we can just go hang out. I don't know, I","I'm like, what do I do for Christmas? I've got like, a couple things to get. I've got a couple things that I'm just like, oh I'm not sure if","[19:44] [music] I'm listening to this music, it's on a lot right now. I'm in a really good place. I'm just relaxing. I'm","I want to do it in my bedroom, but I think I need to have a drink first. I just want to talk about it, I want to start. I'm just going to say it","And you know, I'm thinking about like how my dad, he's like always like doing like the same thing, like just like, he's just like, you know, just like","I feel like Iโ€™m not doing a great job of expressing myself or anything... I was like, โ€˜oh, okay, Iโ€™m not gonna do this. I donโ€™t know if Iโ€™ll be","I know that this is like, you know, I have a good idea about this because I did it yesterday but I'm like, okay, so I'm like thinking about it, and I'","and I think that that's so weird because I think we're so self aware now. And like, like I remember being really self aware like my entire life like, ","I was reading this article about the number of people who have had a sexual experience by the time they're 18, and I was just thinking about how you k","like when I have a thought like, 'I should get a job', but like I don't know how I'm going to do that, so I'll just go on here. Like I don","[Sigh] Well, I just think I'll say this for the future: I hope that we can get to know each other a little bit more. I don't know if this is a","I'm a little tired right now. I have like three meetings today. I'm a bit stressed about it. I'm also a bit concerned about how my personal life is go","I have a lot of plans to make this summer. Iโ€™m going to start working on my Instagram again. I want to create some content that I can sell on Instagra","so I was like, 'Yeah, that's pretty good,' because you know, I do like that song, and I've actually like listened to that song, like over and over aga","I was thinking about a meme. Thatโ€™s what Iโ€™m doing right now. Itโ€™s a meme. A meme is a video that people share on the internet. Like, itโ€™s a video tha","the idea of someone who is a friend and has been friends for years suddenly doesn't talk to you anymore because you have a bad thing on you. It's like","[I am] wondering what it would be like to work in a startup. Like, what would it be like to have a job that's a startup? Like, I think it would be a","and I'm just like, I'm really going to try to be more mindful about my environment, because it's important to me, because I care a lot about how I tre","[laughs] I think I was in a moment of silence. So I was thinking about how people sometimes make up excuses for their actions, and how they often say,","I feel like it's a bad idea to... like I think I've done this a lot where I'm like, I'm not going to post anything because I'm like this person is jus","[thought about a friend] She's been asking me questions about how I'm doing in life, what I'm doing. And I have a feeling it's to try and see how I'm ","I've been thinking about the different ways to improve the efficiency of this process. One thing that came to mind was the use of machine learning alg","So I had this thing where I would have this video call with my friend that we call the... the... the virtual office hours. And then I'd get a bunch of","[the] first day of [my] [course] [in] [my] second year, [I] didn't have [a] lot of time to do my [work]. [","[T]here's a lot of things that I feel like I need to do to get my job done. I think it's very important, but I feel like it's very stressful, because","and then I thought, itโ€™s time to start thinking about the future, what I want to do in the next few months, and how I can prioritize my tasks. Iโ€™ve be","I'm thinking about the process of studying. I think it's a big challenge. I have a lot of thoughts on how to study. I think one of the big challenges ","I had to think about it a little bit. I didn't really know. It's kind of difficult to think about this. I was trying to think of all the things that I","[i]tโ€™s a pretty interesting concept that the best way to learn and to find out the best way for you to learn is to try to do a lot of things, but then","So the second, the third, the third question, the one that's most important, that I feel I'm spending the most time on, that I need to spend the most ","and in fact, I think the way to go about that is, and I think this is probably what the scientists would be saying, you know, hey, if we have a, you k","what are some of the reasons that you think you may or may not want to get your employees, your team, to do these things? We've talked a little bit ab","the thing is, is that people that are highly productive, they are actually doing a lot of other things in the background to really be able to be highl","so you've got, you've got to go to a meeting that's pretty low on the priority list, and it's sort of a meet-up with some other people from your team ","And I realized that I am very close to the end of this quarter, I have about four more weeks, and that's it. And I also realized that I'm doing a lot ","we had a conversation at a party and I think a lot of it is about the new thing that's happening. We have a new thing happening which is just about th","the new AI tools that are coming, like chatGPT and Google Gemini. They are now doing a much better job of generating text and even code. But there is ","it's a really long, long, long day and we have this meeting where we're going to talk about things that we are working on and I have a little bit of a","you know I have a colleague in the lab who has just come up from a different lab, and he's got a lot of experience with deep learning and natural lang","it's like, in a sense, I know that the algorithm can be learned through trial and error, but you know, if I'm going to try to learn this, I should pro","it's like they're saying that it's very easy to go from, you know, like, what we would call a well-defined problem to a complex problem. So the idea i","it's very simple to write this code. I'm gonna go ahead and copy paste that, but I'm going to create a separate file for this one, but then I'm going ","I'm sure I have seen you before. I don't know if that's a bad thing. It means we already had a discussion in a past life. I am going to say something ","yeah so I think it would be interesting to do the same study but for an AI, like me. You know it would be great if we can have an AI that could just t","I have a question. If you were to get a large collection of words, say, a corpus of English words, and you were to use a large language model to come ","The most important aspect is that people don't need to be experts, because they're going to get the information from a more accessible source. So they","The thing about this is that you have to have the right data available for this, right? You have to be able to collect the data. You have to know what","this is what I think you should do. You should start by looking at what you are doing in the data you have and that is basically a matrix. This matrix","but, but it's not clear to me which one is the main point of this study. You know, it's all very interesting, but there's one point that I don't get. ","oh, that was easy... this was like writing a diary of my thoughts. It's not about being super precise and it's not about producing the perfect text. I","I guess this is my most important problem at the moment. I am a lot of different people and I do not know who I am, nor which is the core. And I do no","it's just a matter of knowing which words to use for which things. I mean, it's not the same as the way people think. There's no reason why they're fo","yeah... yeah... yeah. That is like, maybe it's an optimization problem. And we've got the problem. The problem is how do we, you know, we have this wh","And then if you take the other approach, and you just have a bunch of different... of different models of what you have and you just look at all of th","And now I'm sitting on my laptop. And I've got an application open called VS. Visual Studio. And so I've got a project open in Visual Studio. This is ","I was at the train station today and I was looking at a sign that said, 'The train leaves every 10 minutes, and it takes about 1 hour to get to the de","yeah, so then I had to take some time, and then I had some meetings and then, so then, I had to, you know, it was, it was kind of, it was","so we know that you can create a random forest, for example, and you can also use it to train a random forest or to train a neural network or a gradie","the big one in 2022 was the COVID, which was really a global event, a global pandemic, but I think that also the next big thing was the invasion of Uk","I've got to think about the new data and new data and how can we have a better understanding of it and a better interpretation of it so that we can ha","yeah. But I have this. I have this big list of 170. And I have to check some of them. And I also want to have some feedback. And I've done","I want to say that in the model that we use, we use a kind of a double layer, one layer is for the semantic, where we use a semantic representation an","I had an idea, an idea about the idea, that there are no ideas in the brain. So what is the idea about the brain? So I'm gonna have an idea about it, ","you're at this stage of the conversation, you're trying to get out of this, you know, the initial state of being in a conversation, you know how it is","I wonder if you could tell me how many of your participants are students, and how many of them are not students. If you could just give me that. Yeah,","and in fact it's a really interesting one and it's really useful and it's also a bit of a technical problem because I think it's like a really good on","I have just heard the sound of the music and the sound of something else which is a sound from an event. A sound from an external event. The sound is ","and then this idea of doing something a bit more extreme, so rather than just, like, sitting in front of the camera and doing the experiment, like doi","So you got the same number of bits of information. So it's, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not going to, it's like I have the same, so if I'm gonna","we've been going through a lot of conversations with people about how much do I want to make with my company, how do you find a marketable idea for a ","so that's the thing that you're talking about in terms of what is the source of the data? Well, yeah. It's like if you're like the data is generated f","I think the main reason that you would want to do that is because I think the more the person is engaged in the more they're going to learn. So if you","I'm looking at the screen. And I'm trying to remember the question that I'm trying to answer. I'm trying... to think of it. I can't quite remember the","and if you're making a mistake and you're trying to figure out the best way to do something, the first thing that happens is you'll get some ideas and","I'm gonna say that you're probably not doing that. You're probably not doing it at all because the world is very big and we're just dealing with a sma","So, there are a bunch of them. There's this one where it's a big matrix where it's all of the possible, like, states of the system and you're trying t","I am having a discussion with a friend who is doing the same thing and is trying to get their own brainwaves to get to some sort of an alpha state and","the stuff that's not there is a real problem for me, because I want to get something out of here, but I know I'm not going to get anything out of here","the other problem here is that you're assuming that people can't learn, but that's not true at all. What I see is that there's this sort of culture of","[I]f we want to make progress, the first step is to come up with some ideas about how to achieve progress in a given direction. That's where the value","and we're just trying to figure out how to do this in a way that's actually going to be useful for the clients and then the clients have to understand","I am thinking about a thought experiment where I'm trying to figure out the consequences of how much money you need to create a value proposition that","I don't know what's going to happen, but I think it will probably involve a lot of people and it will probably happen on a lot of different systems, a","I remember when I was about eight years old, I was reading a book about how to build an airplane and I wanted to build my own airplane. I wanted to us","there was this person that I used to be, this person that has died. The person that used to be me, you know, was somebody who was a total geek, who wa","I wonder what a non-human form of intelligence might be like? Maybe it's like an organism with a certain kind of mind, and it's a kind of brain that's","and then in terms of the general cognitive processes, what do we really mean by an AI agent? How does an AI agent really work? A lot of people like to","there were a bunch of experiments. The experiments were, you know, the first experiment that they did, was to try to figure out if the human body, the","I mean I was like, that's the problem, right? Like I mean I know there's a bunch of different ways of framing this, I know that, but I think that's pr","you know I don't actually want to go into the detail of it, but it's also like, well I don't even know what a number is. Like, what is a number? I","I'm actually trying to make some decisions about how I want to teach and how I want my research group to operate. And so I'm trying to think about a l","the whole thing is about how to scale up these sort of, these small pieces of hardware. I mean, the, I've been thinking about this as it relates to th","So that's, so this is a nice problem. Now the question is, well, does this make sense to you, because it seems to me that, if the machine is doing the","I'm gonna put in a little bit of code, right? Let me just make a little bit. This is kind of a quick check-in, right? It's a lot more involved than th","the word 'he' was just inserted there. This is the definition of 'he'. He is an agent who is responsible for an action. An action is an operation that","there's a new set of tools in the browser... you know, like Google. I think the browser is the... I mean... yeah, so... it's the browser... that's the","And then that's actually interesting because when I was in high school in the UK I got into a few of these online communities as well where they were ","so it's like, you know, one of the big things that you might think about in terms of how to run the code. It's like, how are you going to deal with th","I'm on the edge of a cliff, and I'm looking down, and I see some code. I've got a lot of code. It's a little bit of code. I think it","and you're getting in the right spot. You've got that first few... first few lines of the first few lines. So that's probably a good start, because th","yeah, but I'm trying to think of the one thing that I would be able to do that's kind of different. I think there is something that I can do that's di","and this is a very interesting question about the number of variables. Is it possible to do the same thing? Yes, definitely, with just one variable. S","we have a test to pass and we need to know what kind of information we are going to learn, what is the specific type of information that we want to le","so yeah, if you're like, I can only think of three or four things I could use that, like, there's this one, there's a lot of data, there's the data","and I had to make a decision between two of them. I was a little bit nervous, but I had to take a decision. And then I was like, okay, I can take a de","and that's why, when you have that problem of doing this, you know, a lot of people say, well, you know what? It's a problem because you don't have a ","there was one question I had for you, is there any difference between the results of an A/B test that uses a p value cutoff and one that uses a power ","[the] reason that there's no [input to the brain] when you're asleep is that the brain is not processing any of the incoming information at that momen","I'm not really sure what a problem is. I know I have problems. I have a problem with this thing here. It's a problem with the syntax of this thing. It","so you know the two sets of eyes that are watching you in this room, right? And they're not watching you because they're not looking at you. They're j","I have a cat, I have a dog... I have a baby... I have two kids... I have to give them... I have three dogs, three cats and two kids... okay. So","and there's a lot of people on this planet right now. It's not only people who have a lot of money, they have a lot more resources, they can afford to","the system of the brain and the system of consciousness, the way that the system of brain and the consciousness system can be organized and integrated","the reason why we should do that is because we're getting better and better, but there is a point, once we have a certain level of expertise, and we'r","and I've heard of the 'happiness principle' and the 'ego principle' in economics, I guess I should say. The happiness principle being, you know, the p","I'm here. I'm here, and I'm making a lot of progress, and I think what I'm learning from that is that, that it's a lot less effort, and it's","I think there's a very big problem in the world that I'm trying to understand, and the thing that I'm studying is this. The thing is, you know, I'm lo","I'll take that, I'll take a look at it and I'll figure out how to do it, so you can come up with some more concrete things to measure and you can come","I have the thought that the number of the number of people who were in the study is small and so the study was underpowered. So we might see this as a","it's a bit of an awkward problem, so, you know, we'll see what we get out of it, but I guess it's more likely to get this kind of data, so let","I know what you are thinking, we are looking for the best way to do that, and there are some pretty good ways. Let's assume you have an objective of g","and that's a lot of it for me. I think I've done my best on this problem set. It's actually kind of funny how much I've done, because it's kind of har","that's what I was looking for. I think that's the best way to do it. Let's say we want to make sure that our process is efficient and also accurate. A","[this is what the model does] it takes a certain set of parameters. One of the parameters, I think, that was a lot of focus in the original paper was ","the thing is, you know, a lot of these studies in AI and stuff have a very, uh, uh, a very... kind of a very, you know... uh, I don't","The fact is that this is an experiment, I have to go to this experiment. ...And this is the second experiment. ...Okay, I've been on the Internet for ","so maybe the main issue here is how much time are you spending on doing your daily job and how much time you are spending on doing things related to y","and, and what if, you know, the, the, yeah, the the, uh, I guess you could say the, yeah. So I, I, I'm, I'm just","and I want to learn to code on a different platform as well, so that I can do the same work on different platforms. So I want to get comfortable with ","I'm not sure if I'm right but I think that some people can just really figure out the math and other people don't. And for example I don't think that ","the other part, I guess I'd say this, it's like you don't want to give too much information, right? I don't think it's just about the quality of infor","the result is that a lot of stuff can happen in the back-end, and that's very much how we operate. So we have these events, and then we have these wor","my problem is that it's been two years since I was hired to this role, and I have to get to know a lot of people, but my manager is the only person wh","and it's like you are being like you're being like, it's like, okay, the company is going to pay me now, and then they're like, no, we're gonna pay","um... it's been a long time since I did that... um... I just... I've been focusing on... um... it was actually... it was about a month ago when I... I","the whole thing is that I'm really going to be a better engineer, but I'm also going to have to be a more self-directed, and that's where I see a lot ","it's like I don't know if I like the way I'm doing this because I'm not like in this situation. It's a weird situation. So, I'm just saying this is ho","oh, I guess you're trying to help me out but I'm not really sure where to start so maybe you can just tell me what you think I should be doing, and th","And so, I mean, it's a good idea, right? So I'm just thinking about it. So I'm thinking about, you know, what I want to do. So, you","and I'll think of ways to improve our environment. For instance, we can promote the use of renewable energy sources. Solar power, wind turbines, and h","I have a question. The question I have, is why is my work so slow? Because I'm working on this big project. So it's like the size of the project I'm w","I think that I might have a good idea about how to do this, like we could maybe just do something like this, right? Let's just say we could do this, r","I need to get home and change my shoes... I need to change my shoes because they're not comfortable... and I think it's because they're a bit stiff...","it's just the last one, okay, it's a bit longer, so it's like you're like, you're a little bit more like the last one is like, it's more like","I know it's not as easy to do it in English as it is in German. I mean it's a lot more structured in German than it is in English, and so that's why I","I'll be playing a lot in the next month. I'm just, I'm like, I'm just gonna do, I'm not gonna do, like, anything too hard. I don't","and then, there was that, you know, I was thinking about the way the way the, the the way that the way the the the the, the, the way the process of, o","so that's a good point. So I mean I guess the biggest thing I could really say about that is that I don't have a lot of time to really kind of, you kn","I can't think of how to explain it. It's a lot of things. It's kind of like what I see, you know, in my head, I can think of, it's","and I'm thinking about my friend that's visiting me in California and the next day they're going to come down to New York City and they're going down ","and so now I have, uh, I'm going to see if I can make a list, I don't want to just start randomly, so I'm going to sort of think through the questions","and then I was looking at a picture of a woman and I thought it was kind of weird that this was a picture of her in a wheelchair and she was having a ","And this is one of the things that I had to think about in the past, where I had to go back and explain how the code works, and I can't remember a lot","the one that's come to mind is like, I guess if you're doing a lot of math, it's not a big deal to make mistakes because you can kind of double check ","okay, so that's the first thing. Now, I think I've got another one. Like I said, I think it's related to the first one, but it's just that I don","the actual reason for being a university professor. I think it's probably something like being able to influence the future, as well as being a scient","And then what we see is, is the other people and what they're saying. And it's... it's really a mix. There's... I would say it's a little bit of an","um, yeah, I'm here, you know, I'm working, you know in my head, so I'm like working on these various things, like you know, in the past, you","a bit of a pain. I mean, you know, I think that's just part of the process. But if you do want to make it more efficient, then it's fine, you know","just trying to remember. I think. I think I know. I know that I'm thinking. I think it's like a thought is a thought that you have, right? Like, it's","it's funny how like I was talking about my father and he and my mother, they both, they both like you know, had this sort of like, 'you're on your own","yeah, I've always thought, it's kind of a good idea, but it's just like, you're like, you don't know when to stop. Like, what are you going to","I got an email from somebody yesterday saying that he's looking for a job in the next few weeks. I think it's probably the first time in a couple year","I just thought of my new job and the fact that we've been getting these really big raises and I'm just thinking like, so I'm gonna be working more or ","and so, like, a lot of like people are like, 'oh I'm going to go to college and then I'm going to work at like, a big company and then I'll,","so, that's a thing that I'm working on that I wanted to do, I'm like, 'okay, I'm gonna try to do a bunch of things that are gonna help me build","So I think it's a problem with the way that I have been learning and just how I am used to working. So when I'm trying to learn, I will usually look u","my idea is to start with an initial data set of a hundred thousand data points and use it to train a model. The model will be trained on the initial d","this is the end of the project, and I will be moving on to other tasks. I will need to make a transition, and I will have to adapt to the new environm"],["And they say, 'What are the people like here in this country?' And then I think, 'Well, you know, it's not that easy to find out.' I don't know about","I'd like to get married, get a house, a job. I'll be married, have kids, and it'll be like a home and it's going to be a family and I'm","The other day, when I was in a state of mind where I didn't really like anybody, I thought about my wife, and I thought, 'Gosh, if I were her I'd","I don't know. I'm a little bit frightened, though, about my husband. He's just so much better at this, and he's got that much experience. He's so much","there's nothing to talk about in this room. What should we do? I could make some tea, or have a hot drink, maybe. I have some tea in the cupboard, a b","a woman with a lot of money. I think she's married. I wonder who she is? I've never seen her before. I don't think it's a nice woman. She's mean","what is that you were doing there? You were painting the stairs. You were going to paint the stairs in the hallway. And then I'd be there... I'd be pa","I'm in a hurry to get on the bus. The bus is waiting for me at the corner. It's already half past six. It's raining heavily. I should hurry up! ...Wha","And I'm going to tell them to sit down, I'm going to say 'Good evening, I'm the man who wants you to tell me if you've seen my lost dog. My dog","that was the problem, they don't have a proper place to live. They don't have anywhere to live and they don't know where they are going to live. And t","it's a shame that it's not a real movie. They don't have the actors here. ... It's a shame. They don't do that here. They don't call it a real","and the whole time I was working, I was thinking about all the things that we need to do and stuff. And we need to get to the bank and get some money ","I had a bad dream last night. It was really, really bad. I had a dream about a school. It was a big school. It had a lot of students. The students wer","I have a lot of problems. I've been out of work since last May 3. I've had a lot of headaches, and my son had a bad cold, and he was sick a","you're not doing too bad, you're doing pretty well. You're doing good. You've been doing very good, doing well, doing pretty good. You're getting pret","I'm trying to think of my mother and father. I've got to think of some sort of a gift, and I know how I'll get the money, but I don't know what to","the two of them would just come in and talk to you. You'd be in the kitchen, and they'd walk in with a bunch of stuff. It wouldn't be too long before ","the man with the dark hair had been in this office for about two years, he got a good salary, I'd see him on my way home, and he's pretty handsome, ma","I have a letter from my niece, she says that she's just had a baby. I hope it's a boy, and that he will be a good boy. The baby's father was my","I see you, Mr. Jones, I see you. Yes. What's your name? ... I can't remember. I can't... I can't. I can. I can... ...","and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my mind. I'll be in such a mess. I'll have a terrible time. Oh, no, I'm not going to have any tea at","I think there are a lot of things I can't tell you about. Things that I know I mustn't tell you. There are some things I wish you didn't know about, b","And then, suddenly, she's back again. ...She's sitting there, and I'm in this room, and I can't see her. I'm not even in the room, I'm","I am on my way to the train station, my train is at 6.20, but there are 10 minutes to wait, so I have time to read a bit. My","the plane is in the air now ... No, I am going to the station ... I shall be going to Paris ... the next morning ... I mustn't forget to write to Mr. ","the train's coming. It's a few minutes late. I haven't been to London all week, and I'm looking forward to it. It's the first time I've been for more ","we don't have to go now, but there will be a bus for the students in an hour. That's the time the school bell rings. We'll have to hurry then, we'll m","The little girl ... she is here ... in the living-room ... She has ... gone away ... The children ... They are playing ... The bell ... The children c","that's a nice name. What else is here? Well, it's just a bunch of little boys, a few men and some women. It's a nice garden, nice flowers. I see","we went out, and then we had a nice lunch, and then I went into the kitchen and made some tea. And then we sat down at the table and had our tea. Then","and if you've got a few minutes, I'll give you a piece of information, because I've got a piece of news for you. Oh, what was it? I don't know.","and it's been a lovely summer for a young person and there's a bit of a difference between what you'd see if you came over on a yacht and if you came ","and we came out of the bus, and I had to get the other one and bring it, and you know, they gave us money, so I got the money and gave it to him,","a bad girl. I want to get on a plane, and go to London, and buy some clothes, and go shopping, and go see a movie, and go on the beach, and go","I'm going to the supermarket and then I'm going to have a drink with Jane. And then I'm coming back home. And then, I'm going out to dinner with Jane.","I think I'll just sit here. ... What is the capital of Kansas? I've always wondered about that. I think it's Topeka. It's the capital of Kansas. It's","I've got to find a place to put this, I don't want to forget. Oh, I found one. Oh, oh, oh, what am I doing now? I've got the","I think it's the way you sit with me. If you sit right next to me, I think I might fall asleep. It's been a long day at the office. I've been working","well, you know, I could have gone to a movie, but I'm not going to. I could have stayed here and watched TV, but I didn't. I could have gone shopping,","I have two sons, now, and I'm glad I don't have to worry about them anymore. They're in high school now, and they're going to college. I don't know wh","I was in school when it happened, and we got a bunch of our teachers' pictures for Christmas and that's what we did. My mom and dad, and all of our br","and then there was this picture in the book about the, uh, the two girls and the little boy and the two boys. So then we had a little family, and, uh,","a little boy named Danny, I have to go to the movies. He was in first grade and then second grade and third grade and he was going to the movies with ","that's really scary, I mean, they're like, you know, they're going to put you in a cage, and you're like, oh, you're going to take all my,","this is a...this is a little story. There is this...there is this old man with a beard...and he was like, well, he was old and he was wearing a beaded","and it's like 30 years. I can't believe it's already 30... I've been married 30 years today. My husband's 40th birthday is in","and, I don't know why, but, it's like, I think of a song. I think of this song, it's called 'Love is the Key' and it's by The","so...it's like...we're talking about...like...the other...other...like...oh...the other time we did that...that...like...what was that...oh...oh","I remember I was at this thing and I went in the kitchen and I was like, okay, so I'm going to get out of here because I'm just going to be a bit...I","so the teacher didn't put anything on the board but he had to because there's only like four of us in the class so he probably just did a review or so","the last time I had a sleepover was when I was like five or something and I was like I was like my friend's house and and we just sat out in the livin","So I went to a bar and then I went to another bar with my friend and then I got in a fight, and then I was talking to her about her family, and she ha","I think that you know what you're doing, though I'm kind of, well, I think it's a pretty big deal for me to go out with somebody I've been with like o","I'm gonna tell her the thing I did on the bike. And I told her, 'I'm gonna ride a bike like that and fall down, I don't know why, but then I","I remember when I was in high school, I had this one girl who I was kind of a little bit in love with, and then we were in the same class. And she was","I feel like I'm just doing this for myself. You know, and then I think, oh, I can't really tell them because I don't think they would understand, or I","I can't wait for the second part of the movie that I'm watching right now, because it's really good. I was supposed to tell you about my dad's new job","it's my birthday and it's like the last day of school because my dad has to pick me up after school and it's my birthday, it's like, we're not suppose","I don't think I did anything wrong, I don't know if I did, but I mean, I was doing my best, but, I don't feel like I did anything good. I","I know you can't see me, but I'll be standing behind you. I think I'm gonna try to tell you a story. So, um, I was at this friend's house,","weird. [Pauses.] [Laughter.] [Pauses again.] I think I'm going to cry. [Pauses to wipe tears.] [Laughter]. [Pauses longer.]","and I'm like, do I say good bye or good night, I mean, it's not a good bye, I'm like okay so like, I think I should say good night because it","I'm just like an idiot. I mean, like, I'm stupid and I don't even know what I'm doing, and I'm like, 'Oh, it's stupid, and I","[I'm] having like a bad day... Like, I've been, I've just been, I can't do anything today. I can't just, like, do anything. I've","I have a feeling my mom will be back soon. She just left. She's coming back for dinner. I don't think she's going to get back for dinner though, I mea","I was thinking about, oh, I don't know, I don't, I don't want to say. Like, I don't remember what I was doing before I got here. Like,","[a]lright, it's just a joke, and it was a weird joke, but it was funny, so, but also not funny, but like I said, it was just a","I can't go to sleep because I'm too excited. I've been getting text messages from my sister. I just got another one from her. I got her to agree to ha","I don't have a lot to think about. I don't know what else to think about. We're going to be here for a week and a half and then we're going home on th","yeah. I think we should take the other one. No, that's a good idea. I don't know. I don't think we should get the other one because I like it better.","And so itโ€™s like weโ€™ve got like weโ€™ve had a few days off like and then like today we like just got up and like I donโ€™t know if I like I got my day off","And it's like, I had this moment like, I was thinking about like, I want to go to the gym like, but I don't know if I'll go because I'm like,","what is my goal for this year? It's like... I can't quite remember. Maybe I want to just be... you know... healthy, like not sick and not fat and not ","and I was thinking about like, like, I don't know if this is a thing, but like, like I have a lot of, like I don't talk much about it, but like","and like I said, I got into a fight with this one guy who was like really bad mouth on the other day. I was just trying to say hi to him because we ha","so I was just like, ok I'm gonna do some jumping jacks and then I'm gonna go to sleep so I can be done with school for a bit. I was like, ok well","you know...i like to talk to you you're my best friend you're also my ex you're also the reason i don't have a girlfriend you're also...i wish we had ","it's really hard to talk to you because i can't really control my thoughts. It's like i have a lot of stuff in my head, and i'm just like i don't know","and then when we were younger and we were still little kids... i'd have my mom take me to the park and then we'd sit on the swings... and it would be ","and I'm thinking about...my life and how it's been going...and how...I just want to...get out of here and just...go outside and just...be outside. And","I can't even tell you how it's like to not be able to feel it, because I've never experienced it before, you know? So that's how I'm thinking about it","and it was kind of like I was watching a movie and I was just like oh my God like the camera is looking at me and like I was like I was in the middle ","and then he just goes to like, he just goes for a run or something like that. And then he gets like really fit and it's like, you know, you can like g","I am starting to think that this is the wrong day to be doing this... but I can't just quit because I started, so I'm gonna keep doing this. It's not ","I mean I'm like I can't help but think that it's just like a like a, I don't know like a like some kind of like, like, like a like like a like","we got to the end, and we were like, you know, if the last line was not enough, I'm just gonna like, write the last line that will make it, you know?","I don't know what I'm saying... like I'm talking to myself like I'm in the mirror or something or something. I'm just talking to myself. I'm talking a","Iโ€™m in a hurry, but Iโ€™m not in a hurry because I have to get to work. I have to work from home, but I have to go to work. But I have to","I was just watching the news today, I was like 'This is a new world. I know this. This is not a normal thing. This is a new thing. I mean, I knew","like I was watching some weird, kind of like, 'Lord of the Rings' fan fiction on a weird website. Like, it's like some kind of, like, weird, like, lik","I'm looking forward to that. That's gonna be fun. Yeah. I can't wait to get in that thing. And then I'm gonna like...I'm just gonna like have some fun","itโ€™s a bit of a shock to actually go into it because you donโ€™t get any indication of how itโ€™s gonna be. I donโ€™t even really know what Iโ€™m gonna be see","I had to work on an idea... I don't know if it's true but it's like the way that the sun moves across the sky. Like there's a different color for ever","uh, what, I, uh, I remember having some, um, sort of like a weird dream that I had where I was like, I think I was, I think it was a dream","I think I need to go and get the pumper (truck), so I need to get in the car... I don't really know what I'm doing... I think I'm looking for a","we don't have any good news, so we should do some of this. We should do this. Let's go ahead and do this. Maybe we should do that. That was pretty goo","[M]e and [D] are going to be married [T]onight, and then we're going to get on the bus and go to the airport and fly to [M]","and uh I think that's about it and now I'll get on a flight I'm pretty sure it's an international flight and I'm like flying across the ocean and then","I'm supposed to do my math homework right now but I can't I'm so bored right now I'm not sure what I'm going to do when my brother and sister go to sl","I'm just watching this show I was watching last night I was like watching a show about some like like people in like a like a like like a like I don't","[the sound of a dog] I think I'll watch a movie. Maybe watch a movie on a streaming service or something. Like, maybe I'll watch one of those. I don't","and the one that is gonna be like my favorite character, is gonna be the one that I think, is gonna make the best first impression. So I think I'll gi","like, like, like how you know what, what what you're about to do, right like when you're playing like a game or you're playing a video game or like so","I don't like this, I don't know what to say. I mean, I like that, but I don't like the sound of the song. I mean the song itself, but the","I'm thinking about the two. I think about the two together. Like this, the two is like, like, the two, I don't know, I think it's, I think this","[t]his is kind of cool, I think. [pauses] I like that [laughs] like that. [pauses again] [chuckles] [laughs] this is...","this is an interview where I'm asking you questions about you and you just say out loud whatever you want to say right now. Just whatever you want. Ye","like a big black hole that has a light inside it, but the light is always coming from the other side, so you can never see it, so it's like a dark are","I'm in a forest. The trees are close to my eye level. The leaves are green. There's a blue sky. I'm in a river. I'm going in the river. I","I feel the ground. I feel the ground, I feel the sand. I feel like I'm inside of it. Like I'm inside my own body. I'm inside this, like a little","and there's no time for us to stop, we just keep on going. We never stop for the sun, or the moon, or the stars, or the clouds, or anything, we just","my arms... and I'm not feeling cold... I'm just feeling hot, and the heat... is really really hot... my skin is so warm and so warm... and so warm and","then what do you do? [Sigh] Well, you just sit there, and then you just kind of let yourself get lost, right? [Singing] Oh, well, you just","and this was going to be an issue for the next two weeks. I don't know how I'm gonna fix this. I'm so embarrassed, and I can't even text to ask my fri","what happens when you use a credit card for an unexpected expense... like, if you forget to put gas in your car, what if you use a card for that? Do t","I need a new phone case for my phone, I think it needs to be one of those cool ones with the rainbow colors and the unicorn. I need a phone case for t","it's not gonna be as good as what I'm doing right now... oh man that's good, I think I might put this in the middle of the video as a joke, so I can","the good part about this is that I have an idea I can put together. I'm thinking of making this video, I think, the background's kind of blurry. I jus","this is going to be a huge chunk of text because I'm gonna have to be like super organized and then I'll go back and add little things here and there ","it was just an idea that popped into my head, I'm thinking of creating an app, it's like this... it's a voice recorder, but it has a filter on it that","my dad was playing golf the other day...he was playing a little golf course that he had built with friends and family. They built it on the side of a ","my son's birthday. Yeah, my son's 8 years old, but he's really, really little. He's super cute and he's so cute. So, I'm gonna give him","I've got a whole bunch of things I need to do to get my apartment ready for the next people. I'm going to have to put up some pictures and things and ","I feel like I'm just trying to stay afloat in a sea of chaos. It's like I'm constantly swimming against a current, and every time I think I've found s","a dream where I'm in my bedroom and it's raining outside and there's a thunderstorm and my dogs are in the middle of the room barking and there's ligh","my head is full of memories of the house...my memory is a mess...Iโ€™m looking at a photo of my motherโ€™s face...she has so many freckles, sheโ€™s so cute","I'm wearing a black shirt. I have this huge black cat. She is just like this. She's huge. She is a huge black cat... She's like this. I'm on a","[laughs] so this is the part where I'm like, I'm making this picture, I'm drawing, I'm like a little girl drawing in the dark, with all these dark and","this is my brother. He's 30. He has a cat. I know, because he asked me if I have a cat, and I said yes. And then he said he wanted","and then there's also that, you know, the... that whole... like... I guess that's what the whole thing is. Like I don't even really know what the whol","I'm trying to think of something funny... like a joke that makes me laugh... I'm gonna try to say it... a man is driving down the road... and he sees ","a song that's always been playing in my head and I don't know why... and it's a song about a boy who's about 8 and it's... and the boy is thinking abo","like a tree, a big tree. The sun shining down on it, and a breeze coming through it. It's a big tree, and it's the size of a little forest. And there","and I'm doing this while listening to music, I'm doing my nails, and then I'm looking at it from a different angle and then I'll say, oh, I'm going to","I was playing with a piece of paper that I found in a pile and it was like... it was like a tiny little piece of paper and I was like... I was like 'o","And the picture of the family... I'm making my own family out of stuff. It's just, uh... It's like... You know when you make a picture and it's like, ","and then my next thought was like, oh my gosh, if you were to say you were like the most like you would be like a girl and like your mom. Like, you're","oh, I remember, I remember when I used to, you know, go to the mall and play with my friends, and then I'd just sit down and listen to my music, I'd","it's like a movie with a lot of sound and music... it's a lot of fun... it's like I'm watching a movie... it's weird, I'm a little surprised at how","oh, and I think there was a time where I wanted to be a fireman. That's where I came from. It's one of my favorite movies is like, oh my gosh,","I'm really thinking about being a mom, having a baby, and growing up, and my brother. And I think about my sister, and how I could have a family like ","I'm thinking about a guy that I was in the car with today, that I know his name, but I don't remember what his name is. And he was playing basketball ","I've been having a really hard time with my son, and I think he's not a fan of my dad, but I feel like it's my fault that he doesn't like him, because","a good friend who is a writer, she has a book out and it's about the 33 girls from El Salvador. She says that they're all real. That's how I know that","and then youโ€™re like, oh, oh, no, whatโ€™s going on. And then youโ€™re like [sighs] you just have to go through it. And itโ€™s, it","and I was just, like, like I'm at home and I'm just like, oh no, I'm going to have to go to a friend's house. Like, I just have like","I'm thinking of...I can't believe my boyfriend has a face that's been cut up like that. Like...like it's from a video game. It's...it's like...he","you're so bad for me... I miss you... I miss that. And I miss him so much and he's never home I'm like... I'm not even mad because I'm like,","I think I have the flu. I need a new sweatshirt, so Iโ€™m gonna go on Instagram and find one. Iโ€™m gonna check out this new song and watch a short video.","you're looking at your phone, like it's a puzzle and you're trying to find the right piece. Then you find it, and it fits perfectly, making you feel l","you know how some like to put like a, a sticker on a phone or a tablet or whatever, you know, just to like, to put in like a sticker on the top. Yeah,","I was on vacation with my husband and we went to an amusement park, and there was a water ride and I was on it and then I fell into a pool that was li","oh I don't know I just don't know if it'll be bad or not or good I don't want to go but I know I have to and I don't even know how I'm","itโ€™s like weโ€™re in like a show... like weโ€™re going to play... in a show, and weโ€™re doing... like a dance, but weโ€™re doing a dance, and then we","I was watching...this thing...on this platform...in my head. It was a very small thing and it was floating around my head and then I realized...I'm li","and I don't want to be too long. I don't know if it'll be good but I'd like to keep it a surprise for the audience. So I'm going to do this,","I can hear the wind right now. And I'm also feeling like this, like I'm crying right now, like it's a little bit too much. I feel like it's hard to co","and so it was like I'm looking at all this stuff, and it's like, oh my gosh, that was so much better than I expected, and I'm just like, yeah,","like when you were little and you were like, what is going on? And your mom like, there's a cat in the room. And you're like, and she's like, there,","and she's a good friend... [pause] and it's like she's a twin of me, so when I have like this problem, she's like, I'm not going to be okay","like, i don't want to be here, i donโ€™t want to be in this, like i don't know how i even got to this, like, what if i get in trouble for","it's a little hard to do that, I think. I feel like I'm trying to get to a place of where my thoughts are coming from. And I'm feeling like I'm not th","and so it's like when you're in the moment and you don't have any control over anything but that you're just like doing this and I think it's just lik","And then, if they don't want it, then they can take it back...I mean, they can take back their own words and be like, okay I was saying this, but I do","this is like, how am I gonna write about this, like what's this about and what's this feeling and I don't really know what this is like, I'm not sure ","[thinking out loud] ... I think there's a lot of people who don't like... you know, they don't want to talk to me. I don't know. I guess I don","I'm wondering what's happening with people. It's a little bit difficult for me to see the people, because I don't have any other people around. It's l","the way you're seeing it is like I'm like you know what I think we should like i don't know why i'm talking about this but like i don't want to do thi","this is the kind of thinking I want to have. I want to get a lot of these thoughts out. I want to think about how I would make a YouTube video. I want","and if the sun didn't exist, then what would you do? I would do what the moon does. It's like the moon, which is a black hole, but it's just a black","And then we have an hour. So now we've got an hour and I don't know what to do with it, right? I don't have any good ideas of what I can do with","and then, you know, I feel like I'm in a time loop and I'm gonna get stuck in this time loop and it's gonna be super uncomfortable because it's gonna ","I wonder how the other person felt after my words, do you think? I'm asking myself that. Maybe they just shrugged off it as just me being emotional. M","this is the end of this whole thing? Oh no! I've lost track of what we were doing. So I'll try to go back and figure it out. So, what was I trying","I want to try to just start just being mindful of everything that goes through my mind. And itโ€™s just sort of like just watching a movie in my head, s","And then there are the dreams of what could be and the dreams of the past that have come to a close, and those are the things that really take me to t","what's going on right now. I feel like I'm not a good enough parent sometimes. I know my kid is good and she's happy. I'm not sure how to be a better ","I'm not sure if I can make the next meeting... it's about this, that and the other thing... I'm not really sure what it's about... I just know that I ","a picture of a house on fire... I'm walking in, and it's like the fire is all around me, but I'm still inside, and I'm trying to figure out how to get","And if we could just see what we do all the time. This is like what is going on. This is the thing that I can't remember the word for. And this is the","I think I'd be really sad if I were like, a totally good person and it wasn't the right thing to do. Like if I was like, I'm thinking like, it's like","I don't even know if it's good enough to be even like a science... I mean it's just... I just know that's what's in my head right now. I feel like I","I feel so much pain right now. I donโ€™t know why, maybe because of all the things that happened yesterday and I just donโ€™t know how to process them. Bu","the kind of thing where we don't talk about it a lot but it's like, when I was a kid I felt like I was having this really great, really good feeling b","so I'm thinking about this whole process of grieving and I'm like, well I don't know what to do with this grief. I think that's the hardest thing. I'v","it's really strange, I'm having some dreams about that now, like I was just in this dream a few hours ago where I was at work and it was this huge bui","I'm just like everyone else. I'm just like you know, every single person on the planet is. I think I'm an idiot because I'm like I don't think I have ","and so I can't imagine that [this is possible], but you know it's just... like, I just, I'm trying to think about what a healthy relationship is, like","I'm not going to do something today that I have not thought about and have prepared for a lot and have gone through a lot of times in my life, which i","and I'm doing this at the same time as I'm doing the experiment. Like I'm saying to you what is going on in my mind. It's really weird because I feel ","and I think it's really important because I think that just by having this moment to be still, and to just listen to your own thoughts and just feel t","I have an image of a young woman. I think of her as a young woman but she might have been in her twenties. And I'm not really sure when I think of thi","it was all there, it was there. And then I could imagine it all coming together, the whole thing coming together. And I'm just so happy. And it just a","I'm kind of excited to have you come up here and talk to the world because I think this is gonna be really helpful. I think I'm gonna be able to feel ","it's very difficult to put myself into a state of flow because I feel like I'm very distracted. It's almost like my mind is going to 10 different plac","[t]here's a lot of things that I feel like I should have done in the past and maybe I just haven't thought about it before. But like there's a lot mor","the thought that i really want to be in a relationship with someone but i'm afraid it's going to hurt because i feel like i've been in relationships t","I don't have to worry about... I have a good... my friends... I have good friends... my friends and they... they love me... they're family... they lov","I've always liked that movie [Juno] because it's so cute and so funny, and the people are just so happy with each other and their friends, and they ha","my body feels so heavy... my body feels heavy. I am so tired and it's so cold. I am cold. I'm trying to sleep. I am tired and it is cold and my","it's weird, sometimes my mind is just like, you know, it's like I just, like, I think, like, a lot of times I'm just thinking, I'm just like","you know when you have like the old school like you know the like you know when somebody's like just sitting there like it's like, it's like just like","[I] was thinking that it would be nice to have a baby like a family, I was thinking about the new year and it's a new year and I want to set a new goa","and I think that my main goal is to learn and understand. It's to be a better human being, and I know that's the biggest thing. And then it's also abo","it's kind of funny because, like, I remember seeing the movie a few years ago and I don't even know what year it was, and I was like, 'Oh, I can't","And then I feel like I'm really gonna cry, I just felt really down today. I'm really having trouble focusing on everything. I've got so much work that","[t]hings I wish to do: I wanna write a book, like I said, I have ideas for that. I'm gonna try to write a book. I know there's a","and then you can, like, make this little like this little little thing out of this and like it's not like a lot of people's like, like they're not goi","I know I have a lot of thoughts in my head all the time, and I'm not sure why, and I've been thinking about, like, what is that feeling like to be, li","I can't talk about that. I don't know why I can't. I feel like I have to talk about it, but I'm not sure how to. Like, I don't want","[thinking about the person they've just been talking to] They've been really helpful and really nice and supportive. I feel really happy that they're ","you know Iโ€™ve been doing some thinking about you today, and you know how we've been sort of moving things along and kind of not moving things along. A","I guess what I'm saying is that when I'm talking about a character and how I feel about that, I do realize that there are probably other people who ar","the future, when I'm not here, I don't know if it's a good thing to keep it. Like I said, my mom is like... it's hard to put it in words","the thing is...the whole thing is a little bit like...if I'm feeling down...I need someone to be able to come to me and like be like a friend, because","you know you can't help them, right? Because it's a bad idea to make them feel like you have to help, it's like, they should just, you know, they shou","I mean, if I'm talking about something that happened, I'm not sure if I remember it completely. I don't remember every detail. But if I talk about som","the way to make the most of them [our days]. I think that the most important thing is to not look at the clock. It's the thing that makes us feel more","the other day, I was driving and my daughter was riding in the back seat with me. We were just cruising, and we were having a conversation, and she wa","I've had a couple of other people that have been in my car, they have been like, hey, what's up? Like, I've been sitting in the car for a while and th","it's the people that I've never met in person that are always a challenge, like, okay, so there's people that we have some connection to, but it's not","yeah, I've been watching the Olympics, you know, like the Tokyo Olympics, they just wrapped up, but like, you know what, the US team like, the US Olym","so we were talking about the war, you know, and I was thinking, you know like, the war, it's really just a bunch of people who are just trying to surv","I think I have some sort of PTSD from that, like you can't shake the feeling that you're going to lose someone, you're going to die in a fire. You jus","and I'm really glad that we've done this because, I think, for so long, we've been on the run from this stuff. You know? I mean, we've just like,","I can feel all kinds of different sensations in my body, right? I'm also... I'm in my car and I'm listening to this podcast about climate change and I","I'm not really thinking of anything that's not on the news, and it's actually interesting, the way that I think about the news and I think about my ow","this is something I've been thinking about for a while, I've been wanting to get my own business, but I'm not sure about the type of business to go fo","we're still in a really challenging moment, a really challenging period of the pandemic and also with the ongoing war in Ukraine. I think it's definit","So, you know, the whole thing with the weather was interesting because we're in a state that, like, has a lot of, you know, crazy weather, and we were","yeah so, like I, I'm wondering like what, what was like the, what was the first time that you went to, like, a concert or a performance or anything li","uh, I mean I think the thing that's interesting about it, I know this is kind of a silly answer but like, I think I think I have this weird theory abo","I don't want to see them right now, and I can't be around them. But you know that, we can't be like that. Like, if you're like, you know,","[about] the current political crisis in Israel, because the Israeli political crisis has a lot to do with the fact that the Israeli government is not ","that it was a real world, which was very much like the world in which we live, but there were differences. In this one, the world had a lot of politic","I remember that when I was a kid, my father was very, very sick. He had a heart condition. It's like a lot of people who have a heart condition, he di","and then the world is not in danger, but we are in danger, and that's why I think, the world is okay and you know, I think we can also be good, and we","and the only thing that was very clear, in terms of what I found to be very clear is that the system as a whole, if the system as a whole is not held ","what if this is a false dilemma? What if the only people who are pushing for the exit from the war are the people who are really happy with the situat","we've got a lot of really good ideas for things we're going to be doing and we've got a good framework for it. So, we've got the budget. We've got the","so it's a very difficult thing to have this kind of a system in place, especially for a government that's not that good at governance and management o","so we're talking about a company that's like a... uh, a company that is trying to take advantage of, you know, the advances in, like, the cloud, you k","it's like an idealistic view of the world, of the world of a twenty-five year old. It's like the world is, it's just so perfect, so great, and people ","and that's why we need to have these groups, we need to create these groups, but what we're also realizing is that the groups themselves, and especial","I had a vision of being on the side of a cliff, looking down, and seeing the world below me. And this is in contrast to how I'm sitting here, and I'm ","I see you were the first one. Then I think there were two. It was a team. And then we had a second. Then we had a third one and then we had other team","we see that, right now, you're actually living in the country. It's like we were all living together in the same neighborhood, in the same town, and t","so we're talking about the US government, the US government was involved in some of this stuff, you know, like, well, they were involved in some sort ","I think that they've got a bunch of people that they've brought in over the last two or three years, but this is the first time that they're actually ","The key to this is a lot of good work from the other countries. There's a lot of very good work happening in the United States and Europe and I think ","we've been in a couple of small countries for a number of years now where they're very sensitive to this problem, because the problem is the same prob","and in the mean time, you have the whole of this country which is, I think, divided between the people who have not got enough money to live on and th","I'm looking at the things that are written in this paper, and I see the paper itself is a big problem, and that the paper has to be kept secret becaus","I'm sorry that you say that, I am very sorry. I'm not saying that I have any intention of doing anything to you or your family, but I feel very deeply","The people that I have spoken to, are the people who have come in the last six months, and they are people who are part of the Communist Party in Viet","but the main question is whether it can be said that the main thrust of the majority of the population of Israel is to go for a solution of the confli","you know the fact that the Bush administration has decided to invade Afghanistan, has decided to attack it, to destroy it, to kill the leadership, to ","you know, they're going to have to face up to the fact that there is something in there that is a threat to them. Now, it's a question of how strong t","And I don't think there was any place I thought that I could take the program into some kind of a state of war, where we would be forced to make choic","[The] story I'm in [is] about to get worse. The situation is very bad. I think that it is just going to get worse and worse, and there is no way out","And it seems, from what we know about the current situation and how we know it, that we are dealing with the fact that you are not going to be able to","And then, when we got the first information from the government, I had to, you know, make a judgment of my own, as to what should be done. And I made ","The reason is that if I want to do anything, and that is the very reason why I would be going out and getting involved in the political process and ge","this is the time to actually start getting some real stuff done in this country, because we've been in the state that we're in for a long time, and we","but that's what we're doing right now. I mean we're trying to say that we're not doing the same thing that we did before, that we're going to be diffe","We're at war, you're going to have to go to war. That's what it's coming to. I don't know if it's going to be in the Middle East or somewhere else","I want to think about what I said yesterday and how I said it. I mean, it's just an American kind of thing, in a sense that when you say something lik","we have to get to the root of this and we have to figure out a way to get through this and this is really going to be very hard politically and that's","and I would go back in 2007 to see what I could do to stop the war from escalating because I know I don't have the ability to go into that region and ","it's not a big deal. We have to be very careful here. The goal is to maintain the credibility of the agency, which is, you know, the only thing that a","I'm worried about the outcome of the Trump Presidency, the outcome of his campaign, and the outcome of that. That is a big one. It's a very significan","I would just like to take a moment to reflect upon what I just heard in my conversation with the president of the United States of America, and what I","because they were going to the same place, it's like they had to go together. It's like a partnership between the government and the citizens. I don't","the concept of being the prime mover or the central force in the universe, I think, is something that's been with us for a very long time. You can loo","It's a real challenge for a government, because the American people are just not interested in a lot of things like that. So, you know, you've got the","I was going to say I think that this was a really bad idea of mine, insofar as it's a form of the belief that the government has, which is that the on","[I]f I could take the United States off the table, and say, 'Look, you are the one who wants this war, you are not doing it for us. And let me","I think I would like to be a consultant for the government of the United States. I think that's probably the best thing that could happen. I don't kno","I was listening to a BBC radio program this morning, and they had some... a few stories of some kind, about the... about the current, the current, we'","we had a kind of 'Arab Spring' or 'Arab Revolution.' The kind of things we're seeing there, the Arab Spring. Now, they have an interesting kind of rev","it's not because it's a financial crisis that we have a crisis. We have a crisis because the United States is the only remaining superpower and becaus","the United States, what I've heard that it's the only country where you don't have to pay for your healthcare. And so, there is a great deal of resent","and I've got a friend in the city of Philadelphia, whose name is... is... is a lawyer... is... he's the mayor of the city of... the city of Houston, T","the truth of it is, when you go to war, you have to go out and fight in a war. I mean, I'm a war veteran myself, as a matter of fact, I","because you've never been to Europe and you never know where to go and you can't go anywhere without being arrested. You see, I was with a delegation ","So I can go to any country, I can go to India, I can go anywhere. The reason is that I know there are many people, many governments in the world that ","we're all working together, that we're all working together against terrorism, that's the only way that we're going to defeat the terrorists and that'","and the other day we had a very serious, a serious meeting with the Polish government about this. It was at the level of the Prime Minister and the De","I think it's a good idea, but, well, we'll see. We'll see how things go. The way things are going in the world, I don't know if we'll be","We should, you know, be on the side of the angels, which, of course, we are not. But, you know that we're doing a good job and we can see that we","I am on the front lines of a war. And I was just here in the Philippines talking about the war on drugs and how this is an unmitigated failure and tha","and, in fact, we've been trying to find a place for the Muslim community, for a long time now. I mean, that's always been one of the problems. The pro","the new thing, the new thing, I don't know, it's very complex, and it's very dangerous. It's dangerous, but the danger is also the opportunity, and yo","So let's say, I think it's the kind of thing that, if we had a civil war, and the US was split up, I think we should, in that case, the states","so many of the people that are involved in the research, they are all really good people. They are very concerned. I think they know, but they don't k","[a]nd it's a little bit harder to get that. You know, there's a whole lot of people who think that it's just the people who are making the decision to","I mean, it's not like this is going to help you in the long run, but it will be helpful for a while, but there are going to be certain things that you","that's one of the main reasons I was so fascinated by this. The idea of doing this to get a sense of what it is to be a U.S. president, as opposed to ","And the fact that it's such a tough thing to do is that... what happens in the United States is that we don't have to look at the world in any way tha","I know I'm gonna go down. I'm going to go down. The world is gonna be a different place, but it's gonna be a world of injustice. I know I'm going to","[W]e were fighting a war, and we were winning, and [the] Soviet Union was winning, and the Soviet Union was the best trained, best equipped army in th","and so the same thing is true, I think, with the US military and their interest in Iraq. If the Iraqis would've been able to say no, and I think they ","the point is that you're not just a simple nation but the people, and the point is not to be a nation of just one party that is one ideology, and it's","I'm not a big believer in that. You know, I think in order to really be successful in these kinds of movements, we've got to get into the streets and ","what is the value of a tax to a business? Is it a cost of doing business? Is a tax a cost of doing business, or is it an instrument for the redistribu","[M]any of these organizations are very large. They have to be very large, because they have to be able to accommodate the sort of investments that are","and it's a huge industry, and it's huge. And I think there's two different things here. One is the role that the media plays, and one is the role of g","I think about the weather in Africa, I think about that and that's not good, and we have a lot of problems with Africa, and we should have a strategy ","and so I know that that's a good thing to do because the people who were involved in the negotiations, the Israelis and Palestinians, they all have to","So we have been getting a lot of people that have been going out in the country to fight this and they're getting hurt and killed, we have a lot of po","I have this theory that we're supposed to be the 7 billion people on the planet, and that when we hit 7 billion, there's going to be a shift in consci","[I]t's hard to imagine that anything could have happened [in Iraq] that could change the situation in a way that would make them look better, because ","I'm so frustrated, and I know that my frustration will lead to violence. And if it does, I will be a failure. And I will have to take up arms and do s","well, if it were a small child, there was no need for us to have a 19 year old adult on the scene, no need for the parents to be involved. A 1","and then this little child I was watching, I saw them going down into the pit, I mean a pit in Iraq. And it was just like the worst thing I could thin","The thing that was really surprising is that I have a whole body of work that I could take the best of the things I have written in my life and show t","I've got a job tomorrow in a library. It's a sort of research library in an office building that's a few blocks south of here in New Haven, Connecticu","I don't know how this will work. It's a new method of education. So I don't know what's going to happen to students. They're going to be taught not ju","The last time I went to the United States, I had some problems with the government in that country, and that's why I didn't want to return. It's just ","we have the problem that, on the one hand, we have a new law on the water. The law says that people will no longer be allowed to enter the country ill","and that's the other thing too, the other thing is that I have to find someone in the Ministry of Defense to get to that meeting and I can't find anyo","in the 1920s, there were these very young people who had been sent by the French to do missions in India. They had been indoctrinated to believe that ","[This is] an interesting aspect of the study of the psychology of the Soviet people. For example, you have a group of people who are not trained, who ","it's the whole problem. That's why it's the greatest problem for the world and it's the main problem for the United States because of the military-ind","it's the only thing I've got in common with the West... which I am. I am a Communist and a Westerner, but I've also been a socialist, I've been a Marx","I would say that the European countries are being prepared by the U.S. for the very same kind of thing that has happened here, which is the gradual er","We have an enormous problem: we can't make a decision. We can't do it. We can only go by the law, by the law and we'll do our best not to get involved","there was a situation that occurred during the Bush administration, when the administration did not want to go ahead with the Kyoto Protocol, or rathe","The question of the future of Israel has always been a very important question for me, and I think it's very important. And we see that the right wing","and now the question is, the question is how you're gonna keep the peace, how you're going to keep the peace in this country. The question is, what is","this is a problem of the left wing, of course, I'm going to tell you that the left wing is in crisis right now because they're in a conflict between t","the Russians are going to be in a bad way, in fact, and the American way to deal with them is to keep the peace and have them not be able to take any ","I am going to write an article for a newspaper. I have been trying to write this for the last year. It will be on the subject of the role of the state","a lot of people, in terms of our country, the Soviet Union, they are kind of worried that the West is going to invade. I don't know if that's going to","I'm on my way back home now to Canada. I'm still thinking about the bombing in Madrid, you know, but I don't know, it seems to me that the only way to","I'm not sure exactly who it is who has to come and make that decision. I'm not sure at all. We have a group of people who make that decision, and who ","so in that way they don't have to wait for the government to make them a choice, you know, so I think that that's why you're seeing this, you know. Th","the purpose of the United Nations is to maintain international peace and security, to develop friendly relations among nations based on respect for th","you've got to know what you're doing, you've got to do the job. Now the question is, how do you get the job done? The question is: 'What do you want","and we need to go down into the streets. We're going to have a demonstration and we're going to go out and we're going out and we are going to go down","well, and, I mean, I was the only woman in the family. I mean, you know, we were poor, so we didn't have, we didn't, my mom and my","and you see the people who are like you are also in a kind of state where they are trying to get rid of the old system that's been set in place. And y","I don't know what you're going to do about it. You're going to have to go to the U.S. or Canada, and I don't think that we have a lot of sympathy","the number of the days is small. Now I don't want to say the number of the day, because it would mean that I have to go out and look for the person to","you can say a thing, and it will come back and bite you. The devil's got his eye on you, he's got his hand on you. You may be able to go into the","I've been thinking about the time when the president came to the nation for the first time to talk with us, and that was back in '17 when we had our w","it's the people that are saying we're not doing it and then, and then, then they come back with a bunch of different stuff, but this is a Democratic C","well, I've been thinking about my daughter, and my son, and what's happening, you know, in their lives, in my family, and I've been trying to, you kno","I remember that. The big one was, it was the whole issue of the way you're going to treat your employees and that type of thing. They were telling us ","what I do in terms of personal security is to do a lot of what I call 'policing,' and the term was developed in the last year or so as a kind of short","I was listening to the tape. It was interesting because I had a couple of tapes that were recorded from the fall. They were really very interesting. T","in 1989, a couple of years ago, I was talking with a former classmate of mine at Stanford, and we were talking about, you know, the war in the Balk","and so, for example, the fact that there is a whole lot of people in the United States that are being brought in from all over the world to be sent ov","and they can be used against me. The 'hail of fire' of the Israeli parliament, which they all use in order to convince us that they are very far from ","And I'm very worried about the future of the nation. I mean, I have this problem. And I have a number of problems, the number one problem is the gover","but he's also not a good candidate for a draft because I mean he's got the wrong kind of people to follow him. His wife is a Republican. His children ","the issue of the whole of Europe, not just the United States of America, in the United Nations, in the League of Nations. The question of Europe, of E","I mean, I do think that I would do a better job as a legislator, say, than I did as a lawyer. I was very happy, frankly, to do what I did in","I can see a woman who's driving a car, a big car, in a hurry. She has to get somewhere. And there's a long line of cars behind her, and the person in","and now I'm going to find myself in the position of being a Republican because I've been running as a Democrat and I've lost a lot of votes by doing t","and I think the answer to that is, uh, is going to come from the, uh, the, the, uh the, the executive branch, uh, but it'll be a, uh","and it is that. You know, we've been talking about how this is a good opportunity to build on this. It's a good opportunity for us, it's a good time t","so that would be...that would be 26 percent, I guess, in the U.S. And the average, according to my calculations, which are probably not very accurate,","it's a kind of a super power and then to be able to do something about it, you know, and then not just talk about it, but do something about, you know","I'm in the middle of a speech in the New York City [inaudible] I'm in the room, it's a room with 300 people, a 300","well, I think that's a good point, I think, you know, it's kind of interesting that the military has decided to get into a different level of politica","the more we can, you know, if you're not a public official, you're not running for office, or whatever, and you don't have to be an executive, or what","uh... a lot of the time, the... the... the government, I guess is more a... a a lot of it is more a reflection of a the American public opinion, you k","I've heard, I heard on the radio that they're going to start rationing, rationing fuel, which means that if you're going to buy a car you'll have to h","a lot of people who are a lot older than I am are probably thinking about retirement. And some of them are, they have already retired and they are sti","I'm here, I'm here. I mean, I think I am, yeah. I was, you know, the last two days in my office, yeah. The last two days, the","And if I didn't know better, I'd say that that's not going to be the case at all. I mean, the government has been a big proponent of that kind of thin","what do you do? You take your own children, I think it's 10 percent of the children, 20 percent of them are from out of state, out of the state you","So if they want to create a new definition of what is a crime, they've got to get the federal government, and that's pretty much a no-win situation fo","and what we know in the process of these wars and what we know about the war on the other side, we're getting the same data. We're getting the kind of","[the] time scale of 400 milliseconds, is an order of magnitude too fast for humans to deal with. It's just not enough time to deal with the informatio","The first is that we're going to have to, you know, a little more, a little less, you know. So, for example, we're going to go back and say, you","I can't find my keys. They must be in my bag. They could be in my pockets. They're not in my pockets, so they must be in the bag. I must have to","the government's plan is to have the federal government, they say, set up a set of standards, but leave it up to the individual states to implement it","I'm going to get to be a high school principal. I have a son. I've got a family. I got to be a college professor, I mean, I'm not a college professor","I am afraid that if we don't get our share of the growth and our share of revenues that we're going to have to go into deficit because we don't have e","and I mean, I've heard you guys are pretty good, so you could be pretty good at this. I mean, if you were to put a lot of people together in the same ","I had a dream recently where I was running after someone on a road and that person was getting away from me. And then they got into a car and drove of","I had an idea of, like, having the people from the town of North Little Rock, the city, put up the building. And then we would have this place where p","what do you do with all these people that have the money? You know, you get people that have a lot of money. A lot of people that have a great deal of","and, then, they get together, they go into a big meeting. They have to pay for everything out of their own pockets, because it's their own business, s","well, we have the same problem in this country. If we can't find a way to give people who are really qualified for jobs, and who want to work, the opp","I'd be glad to see you too. But we don't really need anybody at the moment. It's all on our hands. It's like we're the only ones in the world, or","we were getting ready to come here. We had a meeting with the community college. And I was to come and be a part of that meeting and say to them, that","So I guess what I really have to do, and the way I got started as an anthropologist, and I guess the way a lot of us got started, is we got interested","I want to talk about the environment. I want to go back to the environment. Because you have to make an analysis on the environmental problems that we","you know that the, that the world has to be cleaned up, that we can't keep having a system that's going to make the, the poor poorer, the rich richer,","It's a strange thing, in that when they did, they were able to actually use the same people to do it in all their branches, and the people that were d","and what they don't see is the fact that what you need in order to compete in the marketplace is a high level of technical education, because technica","I'm working for the U.S. Navy at a facility in California. They have a branch here at a facility of the Department of the Navy, where we do what is ca","So, this is the thing. So, it's a multi-phase program. It's a multi-organizational program. It includes a number of government agencies, state agencie","I have been told, and I think this is true, that there is a tendency for the person who comes in from outside to be more successful than the person wh","I know I'm going to be here for a long time, and I have to do this and I know that it's the right thing to do. I've got a lot of people on my","And I'm telling you that, you know, when I'm on a plane, I'm really concerned, and I'm very worried that somebody's going to come up and say, 'What do","it is also going to have a very wide, a very broad range of uses in a number of areas in our government that would not have been available if we did n"],["and then I'll have to write the other half of this and then I'll go back to the first half and say, well, you know, let's go back and say that we did ","And then the other guy goes, 'yeah, I could get into that.' So he says, 'I know, what I think we should do is we should do this. We could try that","there were a bunch of little white girls that were really cute, and one of them was wearing a very pretty dress. And they were sitting in a little row","and I went back to my room and got a couple of towels and I went out to the pool and I'm thinking, 'You're in this predicament, you can't do anything ","and this is where I came across the word 'flam' and that was interesting, because when I was a kid we had that little lamp that was the flam, which is","I mean, I can't see how you could do that, right? I'm thinking, if it was, like, in the newspaper, you would see a picture of, of, uh,","and there's the end of the world...oh, God, I'm going to die...oh my god...oh my...I can't breathe...I can't...I can...I can","it's just not there. It's just not coming. It's not there. I mean, I know. I've just gotta think it. It's got to come out somehow. And then","and then he...oh, it's going to be alright, it's not going to be a...oh, I'm gonna fall asleep in here, I'm not going to fall asleep, I","The feeling that the world was coming to an end... that it was about to change, that something was going to happen that was going to change everything","I've got some half-finished thoughts about that. I was trying to make a list of what I wanted to do today and it's not there. Like, I didn't get to go","I think the sky is gonna break open and there's going to be rain. I wish that I could hold on to that. It's gonna be so hard to hold on to. I know tha","I'm looking at the door. I can feel the air, and I hear the wind in the trees and the wind on the window. The door is so close. I wonder what's on the","(sigh) I can't breathe... I don't know how I got here, I'm so confused and hot. (breathing gets shallow) I've had my eyes shut for so long","And then I think, well, if the box had been full of feathers, that would have made it much bigger. Much bigger. And it would have been harder to close","so many memories that I can't even remember all the ones I know that are about my family, you know?... And then I think about...all the ones that are ","and that's what I was thinking about. I've never done that before. I've only done it once. I don't know how to do it. I've done it before. It's","thereโ€™s a time when I have to do it...and Iโ€™m going to do it right...itโ€™ll be a good time for a change...but I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m saying...","[a]ll the people [were] standing and watching. He [Jesus] [was] holding a big axe with a handle that looked like a tree. It was in one hand. He","I am so tired. I'm just going to sleep. I'm going to sleep right here, and then I'll wake up and we'll be leaving. Oh, it's not working. No","I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something big. Maybe it's a cliff? I want to jump. No, I can't. I don't know what's on the other side","I can feel it, I can see it, it's me... It's my mind, and it's a house... And I'm inside, but I'm not sure if I'm in it","And then my dad would come home and we'd always go to the attic, and that's where we'd hide in a box... It's a really dark box but he's like, no matte","I was a big fan of that. I'm sorry, that's so silly. I was a really big fan of 'That's so silly' by The Darkness. I was always so scared to","and you know, it's kinda fun because I can just be like, what if I just, you know, let my thoughts go. What if I just let myself be weird? Because tha","I've been watching my hand shake, it's shaking so hard...it's shaking so bad, it's like I'm having a seizure, I can't stop it. It's so bad,","I see my past self in my mind. I see her with her hair flying in the wind. Sheโ€™s running. Sheโ€™s so free. I feel a little of that. But then she stops","I want to know you, but Iโ€™m not sure how to. I know I want to know more about you, like your name. Your name... Whatโ€™s your name? I canโ€™t remember","I'm not really a very good liar. I feel so... I feel so guilty. I'm not a good liar. My body's telling me this. I'm sorry I did that. I","I'm lying on the bed. I'm feeling this dampness of sweat, and my body feels cold, like I'm on a beach and I'm freezing. I'm lying on top of a","you want to play that. You know that you do. It's been a while. It's in you. You've been running it from the back of your head. And you know it's","I see a butterfly in the sky... it's in my bedroom. It's like... I don't know, it's like I'm the one who is going to be the butterfly, and the","a birdie, and it's fluttering in the air. It looks like a butterfly. It's this colorful, huge butterfly that's flying, but it's so weird, it's like a","[a]nother voice [is] coming from [a] different body, from [a body] that was [once] inside [of me]. It [is] so... beautiful.","the house in the picture is the one I was thinking about when I was trying to find the word that fits here and it wasn't. It was a very cold house and","a long time ago I had a dog. A small one, a little yellow terrier with big brown eyes. I kept him in my room, where I had the only window that looked ","I'm sorry, I've been wrong all along. This is how it's really supposed to be. I've been going along with a terrible lie. I can't believe I believed it","I'm starting to think about the story about the man and the fox and the cat, and the cat said, 'If you let me eat this one, I'll never let you eat ano","and I think I want to go back to the park and build a tree fort. I really want to go build a tree fort in the middle of the forest, so I can hide. I l","And itโ€™s not the first time Iโ€™ve thought of it, I swear to God, Iโ€™ve been thinking it since last summer. But I donโ€™t know why Iโ€™m saying this out loud","I have a picture of a cat in my mind. I have a black cat. I've had a black cat before. Her name is Luna. She's the cat that came to our house with","a fish and a bird, they're in the water and the bird goes 'krrrk' and the fish goes 'frrr' and the bird is dead and the fish is alive,","and the little baby, the little baby! Oh, that's just like a little baby, with the same white face, and the big nose, and the same arms and legs. And ","oh no, oh no, oh dear, I'll be late for my lesson, oh dear!...Oh, here it comes, there's my mother, she's calling, 'Alice, come","[The child] I love you... I'm going to get you out of here... I'm just going to go up there, and get you out, and bring you down... I'll bring","and then...then I'm walking. And I'm...I'm walking down the road, and a dog...a dog's come up to me...a dog...a big dog...and he","and you have to find out if they are really there, you know. The whole world is really there, but you don't see it all because of the way it looks. Th","I see my dad... and I'm so hungry. I want to go home to my bed. I've got to make it to the bus stop, the bus will come then I can go home","I'd like to make a house in the woods, where no one can hear me, and no one will come to bother me. I'd make it of redwood trees, because I'd like","I wonder what it is like to be a spider, to have eight legs and feel yourself wriggling on the ground? What would it feel like, to be one of those spi","then he got into a huge fight with his friends, and he just turned around, and went in a dark cave. And there he found the hares, and he saw that the ","And she put on her shirt and pants, and the hat and scarf, and walked down the path, down the hill. She went all the way down the hill, and the snow f","and she was all covered up with white fur, and it was so big that the little rabbit couldn't see through it. And the little rabbit was afraid. And he ","I remember when we first met in a play in the playhouse, you were only a baby, and I was only a baby. Then you got bigger, and I got bigger. And you t","and then I remember when I was going to bed...and I was going home, and we're going to have a little baby. And I remember he's got two red spots on hi","and we got it done. I can't see the car anymore. We're going to do it. It's the last of the pictures. The last of the tree pictures, I think. And","Oh, yes, I'm a fat, stupid little boy. I'm a real little boy. The fat, stupid boy is standing up to a man! A man! A fat, stupid man","I think I could do something that might be kind of a joke. I could do a picture of a bird flying and a man on his knees with a gun to the birds head. ","I've been thinking about the girls. I've had to tell them that we can't go. I haven't done it yet. I was thinking of telling them tonight at the party","I'm writing a song about the baby I'm going to have, but I'm going to get pregnant with another baby, and it's going to be a girl, and the little baby","... I'll look for something and you'll tell me what it is, and then I'll take a picture of it and you'll draw it, and it'll look just like it is. ...","it's been a long time since I saw your face. It was just me and you and your daddy and...we had a nice time and we went to the beach and...you know ho","I'm going to go into your dream, and we'll see what's in it. Oh, my! I'm so scared to go into it! Oh, my, oh, my! Oh","It's not for the little ones. No, it's not. But it's a very important one, and it's the one I want most. The one with the big red heart. I","this is the dream you were talking about. I had a dream that I was a bird. I think I was a duck. No, a swan. I was a swan and I was","oh my God! I've got the answer! I've been looking for it for weeks! It's on the table! It's in the middle of the picture! It's the blue thing,","And there I was, standing alone on the street in a sort of daze, looking around. And then I came to where it all began, and I went straight in and I f","and the man is standing there and he is holding the sword. And he's going to throw it, and then I see a little boy. And a little boy with blue eyes. A","I wonder whether my eyes could open all on a sudden, and see the place where we are. I am sitting on a bench in the shade, but I don't see anything el","and the girls were screaming...and they were running around...and there was this big fire...and all the houses were burning...and the little people we","a lot of things have been happening since I started. I don't know how long I've been lying here. It was a long time. I could have been asleep or awake","this was the third time I'd heard the bell, and I think it's ringing again. I'm not sure though. I'll go and see. I'll take this note to the kitchen,","And then he's got a big smile on his face. I mean, his face is full of sunshine, and he looks at me, and he says, 'Don't ever run away.' And","Oh, a new one! I've just had another idea. I wonder if we could use a big balloon, a giant one... But I can't think what colour it should be. How abou","there's a boat up by the quay and there's a man in it with a lot of gold... oh no, a lot of money, in his pocket... but there's a big wave","I'm sitting here in a dark room. I'm holding a bag of oranges. They're so juicy! I want to eat them now, I want to nibble them. They're sweet!","it's a story I've never written before, but it's like a poem and I can picture it in my head. I think I'm going to put it down on paper. It's called","a little boy in a blue coat... I'm looking for something... I can't find it... a toy... I've got to find it, it's got to be there... a little toy","but you can see it, and it looks as if you'd like to eat it, and I like it, but I won't say anything, but you will, because it's your mouth and","a bit of a white, fluffy, wooly...yarn...it looked like a scarf...a woman was making it with a wooden shuttle and a pair of scissors...she was wearing","And they've got an eye for colour, those two. I was thinking about the colour of those curtains when they got them. I used to think it would be nice i","and if it goes up, I think it's better to go down than it is to go up. Because if you go up it'll fall off, and it'll be just like this. ...","I can't remember... I can't... I can't see my sister in my dreams, she's not there... and my mother... my mother, she's a... a... a she's","now I'm in the car with the dog and we're driving up the hill and there's a big rock in the road and the dog's going to jump and then I'll catch him..","you know, i'm really not all that good at doing this kind of thing, i'm going to have to sit there for a while, i don't know how long i'm going, maybe","and I thought that maybe I could take her to the pool and play with her in the water and then we'd take a picture of us holding hands and then take a ","it's funny. You know how they say that the best thing about a dog is it knows when you've had a good day? And then you come in and they're all on thei","I see a big blue ocean and I see the waves and they're going to be huge and I'm going to jump off a boat and I'm just going to float on top of the wat","my mind's a picture, and it's like I can't stop it, I can't shut it off. But I try, I try, but I can't, because I know all my","I have an idea! I'll make a dog out of a white piece of paper... He'll have a collar and a little black bow in it... He'll be all white, and he'll","oh, there's a story about how the boys who were running in the big game on the field caught a ball in the back of their leg. And they were running and","And if I'd been the Queen of England I wouldn't have made it for a king, but I'd have made it because I was the Queen. I was a great Queen. And if I","it's not that I want to see a picture of a train, it's the picture of the train that is running...it's running in the fog....the train's got the fog o","[w]hich is my favourite, and I'm going to tell you why. 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.' I always think of that one. I always think of","it's a good thing, I like to see that the one that's on the other side, and the one that isn't on the other, the one that is on the other is better th","I had to tell the king about my kingdom and his kingdom. Then he gave me the great scepter. Then I gave him a crown and a robe and a sword. He took my","and then the wind is blowing, and the trees are shaking. And they're making the wind go. And then the trees are going away. And the wind is going away","...and the whole thing is sort of a bit of a mess, isn't it? ... ...and we were in a hotel, we were in a very big hotel, it was very hot.","the great white whale. Aye, there's the spot. I'll write that down. But I'm going to do something. I'll get a book and I'll write down the words for","and there's the picture, there's the cat, the cat's got a new nose, and it's got a long, long tail, and it just goes on and on, and the cat","it's a very good thing to have a good name. It is not so good to be called a dog or a horse or a cat; it's rather nasty to be a cat. And there","that's a good thought. But what was it? What was it?... I wonder what would be the color of the sea if it were really blue, and it were blue and it we","...I'm going to take a little nap here. I wonder if I'll wake up in the morning. Well, I've been waiting to tell you that. I wonder what he said to yo","and then I started to think of something I had read once, that when you go to sea the salt will get on your face, and that when you are going to sea, ","Oh, if I had a needle and a bottle of ink! If I could but write with ink and a needle! Oh, I think I would write in this book, and if I could write","Now I'll say some of those words again, because they're very good ones to say. They're all the words that begin with 'd.' I'll say them all again: 'de","... ... ... ... A boy was playing on the floor, and he had a bunch of nuts in his mouth and he was pushing them with a stick. And his father said, 'Wh","and I said, 'I don't know, it's the best I can do, but if I can think of another word, I'll say it in the morning.' And I thought about it","And then they say, 'Mr. John, I'm afraid your father is dead.' Then they say, 'The child is dead, sir, the child is dead.' I see now what they","it's like I can't remember the name. ... I can't think of his name... I can't, it's like... I can remember, like the name, I can't say it","I'd like to see a very small boy. I'd like to make a little boy a king or a queen or whatever. I'd want him to be the little prince. I'd just have","that's one thing, the other thing is how you say it, and if you say it the other way it sounds so funny, I couldn't, I couldn't make out what you said","what I'd like to say is that I'd like you to hold the candle and I'll do the rest of it. That's why I'm sitting here and not doing anything else. You ","but not to be taken seriously ... that's where I am ... that's ... [sigh] ... the whole ... this is going to sound so foolish. You know that's ... tha","so we've got three, three and two, I wonder where the other one went. I wonder what they're doing in their dorms? Are they still there? I wonder, they","and she came up to the door and got down on the ground and pushed the door open for the other guy, and he got up, and she went to him and hugged him. ","if I just stood here and said nothing, it'd be all right, and if I said anything it'd be a lie and I'd have to take it back and say nothing, and if it","and the boy came running up to me with his big brown eyes wide open, and he said, 'mamma, what am I going to be?' and I said 'a boy, of course","you know, I've just been thinking about this book I wrote once. It was about a girl in an old-fashioned house. The girl was called Elinore, and it was","I was going to say 'on the hill', but it's 'on the holly', is it? And I was going to sing to you 'on the hills', but I won't sing","I can see you, you, I can see you... you, you are an old woman. You look as if you were tired. And I think you must have been. You look so old","I'll say this about me. I am an only child. My mother and father were very fond of me, and my mother is a kind woman. And my father, he is not so kind","the air in the house is very light, very cool; it's the springtime. And my mother was very fond of spring. She would go out at that time of year and w","and in the end she said to him: I have just been to a convent and I have brought back some roses. Do you not want some of the roses? Then he said: No,","and now I am in the garden again, and I see the garden is full of birds. The birds are singing and the leaves are rustling; and I smell a sweet smell ","and now you can say it as you were thinking of it. So just now you were saying, 'Oh yes, yes, yes.' You were saying that in answer to me? But you were","what's the word? I don't know what the word is. It's the same. It's not the word, it's the same thing. It's a word. That's what I","there was a tree with a branch on it... I had a dream last night about a tree...I...I... I... I was a little girl...I was playing with my doll and my","a girl in a blue dress, and I'm talking to her, and then I think she's dead, and I say 'Oh, dear' and she comes back again. I think she is","but I do remember that night when the boys came out in the garden and the parson took his hat off, and asked me what I was doing in the garden; and I ","oh, yes, it is. It's a wonderful smell. Yes, it is the smell of roses, it must be, because my mother used to love roses, and it is a little like","and a little bit of white... I wish it was like a white tablecloth... like you've got some flowers... I like the smell of flowers, I do... and a table","a little, a little, to make it right. Then I said: 'My darling, I will never, never be separated from you'. He said: 'I will never be separated from t","and so, just as it was, I say I do. What a day! What a day, I say! It was a beautiful day. It was a glorious day, with a soft,","I was just going to say, in fact, there is a woman who lived in that street, who I never saw, who lived in a house on the other side, and a woman who ","And my dear little doll. And the old man. My dear old man, my dear old man. But he will be dead now. My dear little old man, dead and gone. Oh,","I can't believe you've been sitting here for five minutes. Oh, I've been sitting right here. How can you be so tired after all this excitement, dear? ","and I saw this great man, who was quite white, quite white, and he said, 'I'll do it, I'll do it,' and I heard a bell in the distance and I","And the trees are all going to fall. They are going to fall on your house, and my house. Oh, I don't know, the wind is blowing. And it is blowing and ","I am in a room and all around me are people - I can see their faces - the white light falls on them and they are shining with a kind of red light. I t","And I was wondering. Well, it was a little cold for the moon, you see, and we could not get it to come out in the sunlight, so I went and got the wate","I feel like a ship with a good breeze blowing. I'm going to go down to the pier and sit on the pier, and I'll sing to the wind, and the wind will sing","I'm looking at you. What is the matter with you? Why do you do this? And you're making a noise. You're making a kind of noise like that, and it's hurt","And so he walks into his own home. And he's got his gun and he's got a lot of ammunition and he walks in and he's a little bit frightened, but he goes","and a little white rabbit. There were two little white rabbits and they were crying. A man had got them in a basket and they were trying to get out. T","there's a way I'm going to write a story. You're going to have to listen. It's called The World's Greatest Story. And you're going to love it. You'll ","I was going to say the story was really true... the story about the girl in the red dress...I'm telling you it is true. He was a man named Alexander. ","The sound is very strange, a deep rumble that grows into a roar like a thunderstorm. I want to know what it is. I hear a voice, a deep bass voice sayi","You've got to come back here and we'll have the best time ever and then we'll be off to the next one. We'll be off for the next one, then the next one","and this is my favorite place. I went to see the last race there. And the last race was won by a horse named 'The Lady of the Lake' by a jockey named ","Now I'm going to take another look at the picture of the young lady in the black hat. I can't see her hat at all. It seems to me that's the picture of","Now I think of the way she says 'Bless us, O lord.' And I think, I think it's because it's a German word. Now she was so excited when she came to","the child I had in my hand was a white girl, I remember she was white, she was in the nursery, and the next morning I dressed her in my shirt and I ga","a little while ago I was dreaming again. I was sitting on a large green carpet, in the house on the hill, and the garden had come away. I thought the ","a very nice idea, a very nice idea! And then it came to me, then I knew that I had to say that I loved him, for that I had already been there, but I","I have had a dream: I saw the world filled with all sorts of children, and a great white dove, as big as an elephant, with its wings all spread out. I","the white wall is beautiful, the white wall with the flowers, and the white wall on the side of the garden where the flowers are; I am going to paint ","a little bit of the color is a little bit red, but the color itself is white, like a little bit a little bit, and the color is white and yellow and bl","It's like a wave coming and going, like an ocean, I don't know, it's like that, I don't think it's so good, it's so hard, I don't","there's something funny about a man and a woman together.... like a bird and a fish together.... the bird comes out, the fish goes away.... and a litt","and she would say to me, 'How do you like the place?' And I'd say, 'Very well, it is very pleasant.' But she would not look at me, she would not","it was like that - oh, what's that, it was like that: a little girl, like a little girl in a story, and a big girl, a big girl with a big red","the sea is blue... there is a little ship... little ship sailing... the ship has sailed to the blue sea, and the sea is full of stars... oh, the littl","the other day, when I was thinking about going to the theater, I was thinking that the old lady I knew used to sit and watch the flowers grow and come","and I think of the light in the bedroom, the light, that's beautiful. And I remember when we used to have lights all the time, but now we've got this,","and there was a man who had a beard like a tree and the woman had a big head like a sun, and there was a black bird on a rock. The man said: 'The bird","you are a little bit worried, aren't you? I don't know, I have no idea of what I am thinking. Oh yes, I am very worried about you. I think that I","I will do it; I will do that; it's just too easy; I will have to put it in my bag; I will put it in here; I will not do it; no","[A]lmost a dozen times a day, [the] sky [looks] like this, all red and yellow, [and] it is beautiful, the trees [are] red,","and then you would turn left and the road would turn right and there would be the old trees. And there were a lot of the trees at the end. And there w","I was a child and I was at school. There was a large tree in the park and I was playing with my friends in the tree. The tree was so big it made us lo","my feet were so cold and then I remembered that I have a little boy at home and he could have a pair of my shoes to put on if his feet were cold. And ","[I see] the wood in front of me. The wood in front is not real, because I'm not in it. But in my head, it is real. There is a little way","in my mind's eye, there's a huge field of flowers, and the flowers are like little bells, and they are ringing, and the whole field of flowers is ring","[A man with a hat on, who is standing on the pavement and] ... [a] woman [with a] hat on her head ... a young lady ... [they] have ... [","there is a flower garden behind the house, with a very tall, fine tree at the side. I think it's a plum tree, but I'm not sure. In front of the tree,","and now, suddenly, I have a new idea: it is a small island, or perhaps a small island in the middle of a large lake. It is the place I wanted to go to","It's not far away, but it is still a long way to go. I wonder how long it will be before the road bends to the left, and then, perhaps, the road turns","then I would sit down. And I would pull on a few things, and I would take a few more things and pull on them, and I might make a basket and carry it d","Now it is a beautiful day, and a little man is standing on a green lawn and the sun is shining on the little man's back. He is wearing a blue coat. Hi","it's hard to explain it, you know, 'cause when I say a word, I don't know if I'm saying it right or not. I'm saying a word, but the word","the clouds are looking like little, little clouds with, with their edges, with their corners, with the corners, little corners and little circles in t","the chair is right, and the bookcase is right, so that's a relief. The chair is to the right, and the... well, the chair's a little bit to the right o","just a moment here. I've just been thinking about the fact that it's not true that the one who is the sun in the sky, the sun is shining down on every","And what is it that is causing the sun to rise? I think it's a huge ball of fire and I think it must be about four hundred miles across. That's one gu","The birds and the fishes, and the fishes and the birds ... . That's it, the fishes and birds, the birds and fishes. So the fishes and fishes and birds","there's a word I want to use but I'm not quite sure how to use it: I think it's something to do with a piece of metal which is attached to a wheel. Th","... it was all the same colour, wasn't it. It was a purple. It was all purple. It went purple, and then it turned yellow, and it came down. It was yel","the old man who was not himself, but was the old man in the picture, was not the old man, was not, not himself, and I wondered why the old man was not","I can't think of anything, now. I'm going to write. I'll try to write something, just a short sentence, and I'll try, and I can't do it. I","I think I must be the only man who can't see the future. No man can do that, unless he can see everything, which is the same as not seeing anything. I","I was going to say the man said to him, 'Go on and be a man, then,' and it wasn't true, and the man said, 'I am a man,' and he","I've got to see you again. I want to see you, I've got to have you, I want to kiss you, I like your hair, I can't help it. Oh,","you can't always find the words, can you, it's just that you have the images... the image, the image... the image. Well, the image's so lovely! How ca","I am thinking of an old woman who lives at the end of a lane of trees. There is an old stone house in the lane and she has a garden that is full of wi","I can remember when I was a child, I was playing with a ball, and a woman came with a broom and threw it over my head, and I tried to get the ball, an","then I know... I'm going to... I'm gonna go and get... I'm sure I'll get a cup... and... I'll be back in a moment... I'm making a cup","And I have got a lot of work to do today. I hope it is not too late for you to come. It is very early, but I am sure you will not be too late.","it was like a window, a window in a house, it's a little window, but very little, I mean the window is not so big, I am going to go to the window,","then you go up, and up, and when you're a long time going up you turn, and then you come down. And then you go up again, and down again, and up again","I've got a headache, I can't stop thinking about this... the more I think about it, the more my head hurts. I wonder what that's about? What's that do","and that's good. Now, what shall I do next? I shall go to bed. But first I shall write in my diary. I shall write this out loud, because it is so easy","The little black dog that had such a big collar. He was very big. ...Then the white one ran along side, and the big black one ran behind, and they all","I'll make it a little taller, you see. See if it'll be big enough. ... That's not too big. You know what's wrong? That's not right. I can't","and then I saw the little cat coming up out of the hole. I'd made a little hole in the floor and she'd been digging and I'd put a piece of paper over ","a girl came into my room to say that the man was coming and the other one would not go, and I was to take care of the baby, and it was going to be a s","The words just come. If I try to keep them all in the memory, they get out in the end anyhow, and so I don't want to do that. It would be a waste of","The man who does not know what is good, does not know, nor what is evil. He lives in a land where the stars never shine, and the moon is always covere","it would be the same with the rest of the world. A world which is not so big as this and so very strange. In which all the creatures are strange and u","I'm not a poet, I'm a man of the world, a man of war, a man who has to eat. I have a soul to feed, a stomach to fill, a brain","the young woman was...very...pretty...and...beautiful...and...very...fragile...and...I...think...I...like...her...but...I...don't...know","And I've heard that there are a great many more ways of getting at truth than the ordinary way by the senses. And there are certain books that I know ","that's how the little buggers would look...like a pack of rats. And it's all the same! Not one of them will look like the other...not one will be of a","I can't understand why a little thing like that should have made such a big difference to me. I see, you know, I see now, I see how it happened. I see","all my friends, and it's not only my friends, but all my acquaintances, and the people I've met here at the hotel, and the fellow who's got the red, r","the wind is blowing hard, a strong wind; the rain is falling, a strong rain, the leaves are all torn off the trees by the wind, and the rain is washin","I'm a man. I've been a man all my life; I've never been a woman. I don't know what a woman is like. I can't tell you. I'd know","they can see me and they can see the things I am saying and they can tell what I am saying to them and they can know what I say to them and I am not g","and the horsemen came riding by on a wide plain. they were armed with bows and arrows. they were like to white men; but there was a black mark upon th","I am so frightened at my own weakness and inability to fight him. He is too strong. I have lost all my courage, and the very breath is gone out of me,","I've been looking forward to it for so long. I've had my eyes open. I've looked at you with my eyes open for so long, and now you've given me your sou","oh, what a wonder it is that I am a woman, that I am not a man, that I have a soul like another's, that I can love and hate as I choose, that","the little one has gone away to a strange land, and the other, the older one, is sick, and I have lost the little one, and have no child, but a little","I have to think of how to tell her [my daughter] that her mother is dead, and how to tell the children that their father is dead, I know what they wil","The more he's suffering, the more he wants to live. He wants to live to torture and torment the people who made him suffer. But that's impossible, he ","I mustn't lose hope. I must keep on believing. That I am going to be saved. And I shall, for I am strong; I shall conquer, and shall become an emperor","I want to see the sun, the sun shining down upon the earth. I want to see it burning its way through the dark and the night. I want it to shine and bu","I am very calm...I am very happy...I feel my heart is beating...I am almost alive...I am alive and well, my heart is beatin'...I can see it,","that I am here to make a start, to begin to make a new world, a new world of light, a world of harmony and love. I will make a new life, a new earth","I remember I saw a strange dream, I can still remember the dream: there was this place where I had always seen. In this place there was a big garden, ","now I am in my mother's grave, and she says to me 'what are you doing here? Why are you not in heaven? Why do you not stay in my embrace?' I say,","And I said 'O god! O god!' and the light of the heavens shone on me and I was in a great ecstasy. And I saw a being who was a god of the stars","and if you had a spirit to speak to you from the tomb, and said that you were a human being and that he wished to marry you, how would you then answer","and the woman was a woman, and she had no sin in her, she had no sin, and she was not of this world. She was a creature that came from another world, ","it's always this, always this, you know, I don't want to live another life. And I don't know why it is, it seems to me that all this is a result of","I see them...there is a boy there who has no shoes...he is dying. I do not know what has happened to him. It is strange. But he was going to the cross","[t]he pain of the eyes, the pain of the heart, the pain of the flesh, all of this is for me a pain that I must bear, a pain that is not borne","I am so sorry that it is now you, so much later, that have come to realize that your existence was a crime against the cosmos, a crime for which the c","And so, I found myself in this vast space... A space without time, and without space, a space without limits, a space of infinite freedom... But I fou","this is the heart of the problem, the heart of everything, the very heart of being, this is the heart. And it is a paradox that is so clear and simple","It's all in the past. I've always thought this was what I wanted. I know that what I wanted to be was the father of my own children. I know what I wan","I think about all the people that are in this world, that we can't even imagine how they will die. We have no right to judge what they will do, how th","I had a very strange experience last night. It was on the floor in a strange way. It was like a black light and everything was like a phosphor glow an","it's all just a matter of time. That's what I feel. I don't feel I've made it, but I think it's just a question of time. I'm not going to","the entire universe, you know, if it were a lotus flower, I mean, and this is how you could see it, because the lotus flower is the symbol of the univ","you see, I am the creator of the universe and I am in love with you... I'm sorry. I've had a hard time with this because I knew, I knew, I knew that","And now the question arises, is this the end of the process? ... And I say no, this is not the end of it. Because here is a new beginning. So the ques","So the point is that we have no choice in the matter. We are what we are and there is no escape. In the beginning of our existence we were given the f","I have no idea how to live a good life. I'm going to die. And I know how to die. I know how the body dies. I know what the soul dies into. But","the idea that I'm going to have to go on a path where I have to make myself go on the journey of life. I can't just stay here and have my life. I have","It was like this: you had an idea and you were afraid of it, so you just didn't accept it. You tried to find out what your idea was, so you were looki","and I have an idea, and I'm not going to do it. I have a great idea, but I'm not doing it. And I'm not even going to think about it, because","The essence of being is to be in a state of becoming. If you look into your nature, it is not something which can be described. If you try to describe","I've already explained to you what I want. You already know, if you can follow me, what my situation is, what I want to do, what I am doing, what I ha","The feeling of being awake is not so much the feeling that one is awake, as the fact of having no feeling. It is a kind of empty state. One could say ","but that's all well and good, because we do live in an objective reality, and everything that goes on in our heads, it's all objective reality; and th","and what can it be? It could be a matter of not knowing that all the possibilities are equally probable. As far as the subject of this experiment is c","the only reason I am a human being is because I was a human being for several years and the only reason I was a being was that I had been a being for ","that's not bad. We're a very weak society. We can be strong if we try to be strong. We could have had an Empire as great as Rome. We could have been v","then he looked up, he looked down, then he saw a house with a black cat on the roof, and then the cat jumped down and ran, and then he looked for a wo","the light is growing. The sky is clearing. I see the sun, I see a large sun rising up in the sky, and the clouds, which are all of a strange colour, a","you see the one who is a little bit in your right hand, he is a little, he is in your right, and he is very intelligent, and he has his eye on the lef","I'm thinking, 'how much have I left to do before I'm dead?' There are so many things I want to do that I'm not going to get to do. ... I have the","And then it's a question of how far it goes in time: what is this body, and how long does it last? ... No, this body, in relation to the other body, i","the sun, the moon, the stars, the world. Everything. Everything is made of the same. You can see it in the atom, the whole is here and now, here and n","and then in the beginning, all things are one, and all things are different, and all are equal, and all is just, and there is no place for man's thoug","and the next is this: what is a child? ...What is a child, what is a youth, what is an adult, what is the elderly? ...It is only that which is a","And so the last day of the world, I think, will be when, as I now live, I will have lost every feeling of life. And this is a fact. You cannot remain ","I feel like a frog in a boiling pot, and I'm going to leap. I'm going to jump, to jump!...I feel like I'm in the middle of the ocean...and","and I begin to feel my being, and to feel how I am composed of these two. And in this way, I find I have no body. The body is made up of the two,","my hands are resting, my thoughts are resting, I am resting... I feel myself changing, I feel my being changing... I feel that something is happening ","it's a dark, black night...you know that you're the only person there...and suddenly you think: 'What's going to happen? How am I going to get through","It is as though I were a creature of a kind that we are not allowed to see, a kind that cannot see anything; or a kind that can see everything. If it ","the right arm of the body is the left arm of the universe, and the left arm is the right arm of the world. There are two arms in all things. The right","Now, this is the real thing. This is the real, physical world. This is real life. And there's nothing outside of that world. There is no such thing as","The whole of existence is a dream; it is nothing but the thought that is thinking. I have no idea what I am thinking of now; there is only a conscious","[t]his is a thought, and it is not a thought: a thought is a thought about a thought. A thought is a bit of the mental life, of the life, of things","I've had a life dream in which I was a king and there was a city around me and all around that city was a garden and in the garden was a temple. And a","there are people, and there are people with thoughts, and there are thoughts. And these thoughts, if you think about them, they are not thoughts. You ","and this is how it is, because I am a man and I do not understand anything, so I am a poor creature and I do not know how to understand things, and I ","you know, it's a way to get to know your inner mind. It's a way of listening to it. It's not so much the content of what you hear. It's the method","what we have to do, I can't explain. I can't even describe it. I can feel it in my mind. But it's not something that I can even say. The feeling,","the presence of the observer; the presence of the object of perception. The perception is the observation, the observation is the presence of consciou","And there are people who, when they hear this, they want to say, this is nothing, this is like a hallucination, a simple hallucination, it's something","the same thing that is happening to my consciousness, or the same thing as happens to me at the same moment is happening to you. You are not in your b","And then the mind that is my mind and the mind that belongs to the universe, these are two, and each one has two parts, because it's the two parts tha","and I'm doing that right now. I'm doing this thing that's been going on for 35 years, and it's going to be done in 35 more years. This is","my eyes are open and I'm in a room with some light on the floor and a few other objects. But I'm not here, and I don't know if I'm still in the same","I'm just listening to the sound, and this sound is something I do. I'm hearing it, and this is something I have in my mind. So it's like, I'm hearing ","the voice is a part of the mind, it's not an object that you can point to or touch, it's an internal event, it's a way of knowing something, of being ","this is a very rich state. It's like a landscape, or the inside of a cloud, or like a movie, or like something that is not separate from the mind. I h","I'm here, I am thinking, I'm here in this room, and I'm here with myself. And I'm here. And I think of what I am here. I am here as","you know, a dream, and the dream, or something like the dream, is what it means to be conscious of our consciousness. What is that, what is that? Cons","a tree, a tree that has fallen and lies on the ground and the roots have split, and the branches have fallen, and it's a tree of some sort, a tree of ","[I'm thinking] the name of a book I read, about a hundred years ago, called The Mystery of the Mind. ... it was a book about the mysteries of the mind","this is a book, or this is an idea which is a book which is an idea. And there is a book within the book, the idea of the book within the idea of this","I'm feeling kind of sad right now, and I'm looking up at the stars and I'm seeing a whole bunch of light, and I see some kind of image of myself that ","what's happening at this moment is that my eyes are open and yet I can't see anything. And then I feel a sense of wonder about what is actually going ","[in] the first three minutes...a lot of words came through, and the words were mostly in the present tense, describing the actual experience of the br","and then the second one is the idea, and the third one is the meaning, and the fourth one is the emotion, and the fifth one is the evaluation, and the","a moment in the past. That's interesting. A memory. A memory of something. Of an experience of something. So the experience of something, the memory o","this is how we are all of us, I'm not a very good observer, so it is more like a collage, and I have a collage of words. This is the structure of a co","I am really interested in the flow of thoughts, and their content, and the structure and the nature of the process of the thought itself... I am inter","this is a dream. There is no awareness, this is not a dream. This is the awareness that is happening. In other words, a dream has content and so does ","I've just remembered something, I'm starting to feel something that's really strange. I'm not sure what it's like. I think I can recall a dream, and I","And I remember that I was feeling a lot of anxiety. I was afraid. I felt a lot of fear. I thought, 'I'm afraid of my life, I'm afraid of everything'.","it's not even the body that is in question, it's just the fact that I'm here. It's just the present. There is no difference between present and past o","and the beginning of all that we see in life is our own creation. This is our own world. It is the universe of the mind and the creation of the mind. ","the word that came into mind was 'reality', and then I thought about what it means to say that we live in a reality. Reality, the idea of reality, is ","we're going to look at a film called The Great Learning...there is an entire tradition in Chinese philosophy of looking at a film to see how it will i","the more you allow your mind to be like this, you can actually see more in the world...the more you actually look into the nature of your mind and you","I know this is a dream. This is my body. This is the body that is in front of me. There is a lot of different kinds of sensations that occur in this b","I was a little nervous... I was about to enter the place and I felt something like a tension in my body. And I realized that was the same thing as ent","the space I'm in, or the space that I'm not in... the space that's not in. Space that's not, is not space. The space of being and non-being, is","the quality of consciousness that you're aware of the awareness is itself aware of itself. As the awareness is aware of itself, as the awareness itsel","I'm standing in this place. I have a body here, and it's not me, not this me that's looking at me from the outside. It's a thing that has its own exis","my brain is making a big sound in my head and it's a constant sound. It's almost like an engine of a car but there's no car there and then it's also l","[I] have just realized that my name is 'the one who speaks'. It's a very funny thing for me, because I don't know why I'm talking, I don't know who","I know that there are many things in the world, and the thing that I am looking for is to understand the essence of things. And in that case, it is ne","And I realized that there is no need to continue. You're doing just what you're doing right now. I have no need for any kind of direction whatsoever, ","the door closes. You've come here to do work, and you come here and the door closes. I've been there for a long time. I know where to go, but I can't","the present moment, is a moment of time, a moment of experience, a moment that is a state of mind, is a state that is a space. It's a moment that cont","there is a body here, a body with its own experience and its own life. I have my life, I have my experience, I have memories, I have dreams, I have th","the movement of thought in my consciousness is continuous. It is never a linear chain. It has many different levels, which can be present at once. Thi","the fact that there are three levels of existence; the three levels of our mind, that there are the three dimensions of our mind; there's the one whic","what kind of existence is there? Well, I'm in a state of rest, in a state in which the brain is in an undifferentiated, non-local, non-spatial state o","and I'm thinking, well, it's like that's what we're doing with our children, isn't it? We're giving them instructions. They're not doing anything, the","a bird flying in a circle, then up, up, up and over my head, then down, down, down and back again, over my head and in the circle, and then up,","a picture of the brain with an arrow pointing to the heart and the heart to the brain, like an energy transfer. That's my mind. And the heart. And the","and I'm feeling that in the here and now, in the here-and-now of me, this is all right. In the here-and-now, it's all right, as it is. There","I'm the only one who knows me and knows that. And it's like a box which I can open and I can get to know myself and I can open it and get to know my b","[i]t's like I'm an actor and I'm an observer. I'm like an actor in the world. So I'm like observing the world and I'm also observing my observations.","I'm just going to think about this thing and the way that I think about it is that it is the manifestation of an idea. An idea is something that is in","I've been thinking about the story about the blind man. And the blind man, the story I'm thinking about, the blind man in the Buddhist text. And in th","I'm thinking about a metaphor, a word about the universe. A metaphor. This is a metaphor. The universe is a great circle, like the Earth is a circle. ","that's it. I'm here with the thing of being me. I'm being me. Being me, and being me is me. I know that. I'm a being, I'm a","and this is what I'm talking about now. I have a notion of the concept of number, it's not something that's going on, it's something that's on the edg","[I am] in a situation where I have a body with an awareness, a sense of self and a sense of the environment that I am in and the relationships between","a big lump of fog, which is being removed. It's like peeling a layer of a log; I peel off a layer of the log. I have a layer of fog which I peel","I know you can do that. I just think you can do it, I am not saying it's going to happen but it is going to happen. You can do it. You have to believe","then the idea of the other comes to you, and the other becomes you. There's no more space between the two, so you're not thinking about anything anymo","[a]ny kind of information that comes into the brain, that is not considered by the self, is considered by the brain to be part of the reality, not par","I think my computer is not working. I think that the computer is not operating correctly. It's not responding. It's just not working. ... I think I sh","and then the consciousness was in the body, and it was feeling something in the body... feeling something, feeling something... [there is] a certain p","you see a vision of a fish, that is the image that you perceive of your own consciousness, that is to say your own consciousness has the ability of se","my thoughts come, sometimes with the same words as before, and then they get distorted... I see images and colors in front of me, then I have sensatio","I am thinking of the sky, I am thinking about the sky... I am thinking that my own skin is made of the same atoms that the sky is made of. The sky is ","... the head of a woman, or of a person, that's what it is. You can see the hair, and then you see the head, the shape of a head, the skin of","the first question is this: what is a thought? What is the nature of a thought? This is a difficult question. In this particular moment, I am thinking","it's a way to say that this is a point at which our mind is at rest and not moving anywhere. At that point, it's empty, and the emptiness is not empty","you know, that is why I can't explain it, that is, what it is I am trying to express, the relation between the I, the I who is, and the I who thinks","the usual light is being cut off, and there is this new light which comes into my attention as if it were a different light, a different quality, a di","this is an example of a state where I feel like I'm not really in charge of my experience, but at the same time I don't feel like I've lost it. It fee","[a] little voice came into my awareness, which I can't say is a separate voice from me or is separate from my brain or my nervous system. And it said ","this is the point where we see that, as we think, we see in our mind that we think, and this is not an immediate cognition. There is some gap between ","it's not the same as an auditory hallucination, even though the same part of the brain is activated in both, because auditory hallucinations are just ","[The] image of the mouth was the center of the image of my brain, so I decided to look at the mouth. When I was looking at the mouth, it was moving. A","I'm just going to say that, it's like a wave. The wave has a period of rising and a period of falling. It goes up and then it comes down again. So the","the word 'spoon,' which is the name of the tool we use for eating with. There was a spoon on the table before me and I was looking at it as it was the","and then I said, oh my God, that's really interesting, because I see something that is a little bit like a shape and then I see something in the shape","And there's a thing that's moving around here, a little particle, it's moving, and there's a whole cloud of these little particles, and it's very much","And I can see myself now, as if in a movie, going back and forth in time, in a dream-like state, but still being myself, with all the same intentions ","now I see a plane ... I don't know where it's going, and I'm not sure of its trajectory. It seems to be on a path ... I've never seen a plane in this","what's the relationship between the brain and the mind? What's the relationship? To me, it's a pretty obvious relationship. There's something going on","I see a city street with buildings going up. I see a woman. I'm looking at her and I see a light, I see a window with a light and I see her looking at","the child, the child, you know, that was like the little bird on the stick. It was very delicate and it was just like, the whole universe was moving a","I'm thinking that if a little boy were to fall out of a tree, his legs would extend out a long way like that, because that's what a little boy's legs ","and then I'm thinking about the end of a tunnel and I'm getting closer to the other end of the tunnel, and I'm wondering if I can move through the tun","I wonder what it would be like to have a picture that would appear and disappear in my mind's eye without any conscious thought, but as a matter of co","you're coming into this room... this room is here and I'm in this room, and the floor is here, and I'm on the floor. I'm in a field, a green field","there's a point on the hill which has a nice view, which is really a nice view. And the next thing that comes up is, 'well, what if there were somethi","the sun rises, and it gets bigger. There's a small bird and it flies and flies and flies... flies and flies into the sun, then the bird disappears. I ","what's going on in my head. I can see the picture of the room in my head, and I can see where I'm sitting, and I have a picture of a room, and I","I see my house in my mind, I'm in my living room, and there's a door, and the door's open, and the lights are dim, and I see the door, and","The person on the left is looking at the wall... the wall is turning blue... the person is going up... the blue is getting lighter... the wall goes do","I'm looking at a field of flowers ... a field of yellow flowers. Now I am going to take a picture of it. But the camera isn't working. Now I'm seeing ","it's like there are different colors... I don't know... it's like they're being separated... I see like... I don't really know what it is... like if y","now I see a square with 4 corners on it and 4 lines. I see that it's the same color as a green tree. It's just a little green square, like a green","... ... I can see a dot. It's not quite a dot, it's more of a circle, but there's a dot in the middle of it. There is some sort of dot.","and the two men stood by the river, and the old one reached out his hand and the young one reached his hand out and the two hands came together and th","there is a way of getting to the bottom of a lot of things by using a little bit of the same way I found the picture in the top left corner, I think i","but there are no pictures of anything in the center. Only lines. And the lines are not straight. And they are not quite all the same shape, though the","but I have the feeling that I am in a strange land with no real landmarks, and that there is some one to whom I am not to be recognized. And yet I kno","then in my mind I saw a picture of a man's hand on the back of another man's head, and in the other man's head I saw a circle with a dot in it, and","this is like a bunch of papers on the table and you're picking them up and looking at them, and then you pick up a little piece and look at it, and th","this is a lovely little room, just right for a baby...just right...just right. It's the same room, isn't it? Oh, I see now, this room isn't a","I see the sun rising over the water, the sun is round and golden and a little way up in the sky and it is warm and I see the sea and it is blue and th","my head's so still and my thoughts have gone, and my eyes are half open and I can see a few stars and a small moon and there's a bit of a light from t","I wonder what's in the drawer, what's in this room? There's a bit of wood, and I think of wood, wood, wood. Maybe the wood is like a flower, but","I want to go to bed. My father was a very good man. He always made me smile. He never forgot to buy flowers for my mother, but one day she died, and h","And I've made a chair and a table, and now I am going to paint it, and it has four legs. I am going to take my paints and my brushes and I am going to","And when I was going to do a painting I wanted to paint a picture of an old man with a hat on his head, and he had a beard and a hat on. And there was","you have two... two... two, four, five... five... five. Five... five. And one, two, three, four, three, one... two, three... four. Three","I was born in this house and I was in this house in the yard. ... I was born here and I was here in the yard and I was born like this in the yard, lik","4... 4... there's a 4 here and a 4 there, and a 3 here, and a lot of little 2s... I don't know how many.","and she said, 'what does your name mean?'... and I said, 'it means water.'... and then he said, 'well, how much water do you have?' ... and I","the sun came out, and a bright blue sky, with the sun shining on it; and then it started to rain, and there was a black cloud; and then the sun came o","and the other day I was driving and saw a yellow car in front of me, and there was a cat in the yellow car. It was a yellow car. And a yellow cat. And","this is what it is like ... the room is blue, ... blue and green and white ... and here's a woman ... she's holding a blue glass of water. She's sitti","I have a good idea, a good one, about a house. I like it. It has a roof and a garden, and a wall. It is a little house. I will try and"],["and this is the most wonderful thing that is, the fact that the universe is composed of a conscious being, who has the ability to choose between all t","so the things that have happened are real, but the things that are going to happen haven't happened yet so they're not real. They're possibilities. It","the right hand of the father. I'm in a right hand of a father. I could be in a right of a mother's left hand. That's the right hand. I've got to","and she just says: 'Oh, I've been a fool!' and then she says 'Oh, why did I ever come back to you? Why did I ever leave you?'...and I","the dark cloud of death and disease that I'm seeing on TV, on the papers, that is beginning to enclose my family's life, and it's beginning to enclose","and the little baby with the little white hat is coming down the street... the little baby in the little white cap. I am going to give you a little wh","I thought, I think you should be the one to pick a date. I think you are the only one I could trust. It's like, you know, a date like you would take t","I see my hands on the arm of the chair, I see the floor. I am on the floor. Oh, I am on top of you. I'm on top of the floor. No","I feel like a fool. I feel like an idiot. I feel that I am a complete fool. And I do. I feel foolish. I feel as if I have been betrayed. I feel","I'll get all this stuff I need, all the tools, all the stuff I need to start this thing, and then I'll go back and I'll come to you again. That's the","and then he saw the stars, and he felt the earth again, and he heard the birds singing in the trees and the winds blowing through the trees. And he kn","There were so many of them, and they were so large that they looked like giants, but they had to be giants because they were so huge. They were a kind","I feel like a prisoner, and I know that you're here and you're watching, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't think. I don't want to","I see all the faces in the clouds. I can see them so well, they are in a line. I am watching them, and I want to go back into the past again, but ther","but I was just thinking, because there is a way that you could have had an explanation for the thing that has happened, and I just want to say it to y","[a]s I think, I realize that my whole life, everything that I have ever thought, every single thought that I have, every single memory that I have and","I was thinking about the light of the sun, and about the sun, the source of life on the earth, and how the light of it would have to be sent to the su","in my hand I have a weapon and I want to strike down all this evil. This weapon is a sword, the blade is the word, the hilt is the letter. I can use t","you can't have an answer that's not true. And when you want a thing, and you get it, it's not necessarily a true answer, it's a false answer. You get ","but no, no, no. There is no death, and nothing is destroyed. Everything is reborn. You are the sun, the stars, the wind, the light, the thunder, the","and I could make a mistake, I could be wrong. I could be making the whole thing up, or just making a part of it up...or I could be doing something els","I was with a man, in a city...but in this city there was no air. And I wanted to have air. And to breathe...and then I looked around me. And there wer","a fire, a fire, ah, a fire; it burned down, the whole world. I see the great fire, the world burned down, all the land was gone, and in the sky","a dark spot at the bottom of the lake, where the lake goes out to the sea. That's where the little child fell, and died, and is turned to stone and no","and now it's the same...it's the same as yesterday, only different and the same at the same time...I am a piece of wood and a piece of iron. And that'","I am afraid of the sun. It is very large. It has a hole in the middle. I do not know what is in the hole. I want to know. I want to go to","and that I was... in the... in... in the ... I can't tell you what it is... I don't know what it is. That was... it was like a tunnel. It","but I've always been afraid of the dark. The darkness of the dark itself is so dreadful that if I was left alone in a dark room I'd go mad. I suppose ","And then a giant man comes from nowhere, and he opens the door. And then it's dark, and then it's bright, and then I'm back here, and then there's a b","and that's what it was doing, it was...it was...it...I was in that place, I was in that...the thing that I was in, I was trying to get away","I remember all the memories of my life as they happen. They are all connected in my mind. I remember them all. I remember the first day I saw you and ","the way that your body feels. The way you feel about yourself. The way your mind works. The way things go through your head. The way the world works. ","The air is heavy with the sounds of the universe and the tenuous light of a single star shines in through the cracks of the walls, through which the v","and the word 'star', I think of a star, and it's shining and it's there, and it's burning. It's burning and it's hot, but it's also cold.","then, then the sun will go out in a moment, and then all the stars will go out and it will be black and cold and then there will be no more sun and no","I just can't do this, this thing, the thing that is happening, I have to get out of here. I can't do it. I can't take it anymore. I can't","And then there was no longer the one in my body and the other, in the other dimension... There was only the one that was the one in the other and the ","and then I was looking down at the world, and I was looking at the earth, and I realized that it was like the moon, and that it was just a reflection ","the number of thoughts that you have, is really equal to the number of atoms in the universe. If you stop thinking for 10 minutes, or even just one se","a tree of life, and a tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and the tree of life was in the middle of the garden, and the earth was in the middle of","we are now going to begin the beginning of the beginning of this great new world. This great new world will be the one in which all human beings, all ","the stars, the stars, the light, light, light; they have light, the stars have light, light from the stars is light; we are light; all beings are ligh","I just now... I'm seeing something, a little bit of the world, of the Universe. I'm seeing it like it really is, and I'm just thinking that it's beaut","it's like a long river. Like the river Nile. And there's so much water, you can't see it all at once. So many people living in the water. And it's not","the earth is round and has a diameter of 12,742 kilometers, or 7,926 miles. If one were to fly over the equator, going from east","And so there's nothing really in the sky except for the blue of the sky itself and the red of the sunset. And I see the sky. I see the sun. And I am t","we've been talking about how the human body works... the human body has a structure in which it can have its own language... it can express itself... ","then there's the way of the sun, then there's another way, the way of light, of the light of light. I can't find it, I can't locate it, the way","It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility. There is no responsibility, there is nothing we have to be responsible for. Nothing in the world is res","I feel like I'm in a dream. There's so much I don't understand. I wish that I could wake up. I wish I could remember. But I don't, and I don","what do you mean you have no name?... that's how it is?... No!... it's not just a question of not having a name. The name is the essence... it's","and then, I think that there must be another world...that is the same as ours...just without the concept of good and evil...and that is the true unive","and what can be understood of what I speak. I understand myself as the material of the universe; I am its very substance, and the universe is my own m","that the number of human beings is now sufficient to populate the entire universe, which means that every single one of them is a tiny fraction of all","it is the first time I have ever thought about it. It's almost like I have been asleep. It's like I have a memory of my own memory of what I have thou","I would like to understand this world in the language that I understand this world...I am thinking in a language of light and I would like to see in t","I have this very strong sense that there are no objects but that what we are, is not objects, but is a field of consciousness. ... You know that your ","I see this... the head... a big head... the head is big... and then, in the middle of it is the consciousness... that consciousness is a lot like... w","I feel some sort of electric impulse from the head. I'm trying to describe what I see in terms of colors. I'm seeing a pattern, and I'm trying to reme","this is a beautiful day. This is the time of a beautiful day...when the sun is at its peak, when it is most beautiful, when it shines most brightly an","And I thought, the whole universe is like the human brain, and the human brain is like the whole universe. And the whole universe, and the universe is","This is a part of my thinking, this is a part of it, which is very clear, which is an image. But there is no language to say this, because the languag","It was, actually, not an image that came up, it was just a thought. And it was the thought, as if I am watching the universe as it happens and I can j","and I can see that the 12 is also a 48. That 12, which I see as a 6, is a 12 which is a 48","this is the first time that I am here. This is the first moment. The first time I am here, is now. Now, I am here because I am. I am because I am","myself, it is the mind of God, which has been projected on a screen. I do not know how I have come to know this. My mind has a tendency to move away f","then you will be in a position to see the meaning of the Universe as an activity. And so it will be you who will have the meaning of your life, but yo","there is a time when the heart can be open to the experience of a spiritual existence. It is not just the existence of a God. But rather the experienc","[s]uddenly it is as if the Universe is saying to me: 'I love you.' There is the sensation of an opening in me that allows me to receive a new love. Th","I see the sound, I see the color. I see the sound of the color. The sound of color is the color itself. It is the very essence of the color that it is","and I'm so tired of it all, because I don't want to have to work with it. I don't really want to have anything to do with it. But that's not how the","the fact that when I say I am the spirit, I am the God, I am love, and I am the mind, that the mind is not a physical thing. And the fact that the","infinite. The whole is more than the sum of its parts... the whole is more beautiful than the sum, for the sum is just a sum, the sum is in the whole.","I would like to know the structure of the mind and of the universe, and what the nature of being is. I would like to have a deeper insight into the na","a sense of peace. This is what I am looking for. That is, a sense of peace, not an absence of tension, but a sense of calmness. That is a sense of pre","Now the memory of a past experience comes to me. It's like an impression of the whole experience as a past experience, and in the past experience, I r","Now the thought has become a 'momentary' thought. It's a memory of a thought. The thought is not 'here and now,' it's a momentary thought. There is th","I can hear myself now as I am saying it, and it feels like I have a second set of ears. The first is what I feel inside and the other is my actual hea","this is something that is not so easily seen, the way the brain works, because it's a physical process. When you see something you do not see it in a ","you have to start the conversation with a word, you have to start by saying something and the moment you start to say something the world is already c","the Earth was not a part of the world, but rather an integral part of the universe, that is the Universe was an organism, a living organism, that is a","I'm not going to talk about the individual, but the individual in the world, as I understand it, is a unity of a body and a mind, a physical body and ","I think I am the one thing that is permanent, I am the thing that is never going anywhere. All the rest is transitory, and all the transitory is in me","you are looking at the universe as you perceive it. You are seeing the universe as it is. And you are also looking at yourself as you perceive yoursel","I can see the image of a hand coming into the room, and the hand is not just a hand, it is my hand. This hand is made of light, and it is moving in a","I am on a journey to my place of birth. I am travelling with a group of people. I am not conscious of the group. I do not know my place of origin. I d","And this is my task in this life. I have to do something here. I cannot just be a spectator, I have to be active, I have to realize myself as a being ","I will soon be dead, and I am glad to know that I shall not die without having done my best to bring about the end of history, and the perfection of t","this is a good question. Why should the body be such a thing? What is its point? There is a reason that it exists. ... If I am not a body, I am a spir","It was not a question of what happens, but of what is happening. You have to say that the mind has a tendency to go to the present moment. The mind ha","I am not the one who is here, but only the thought, or the perception of the thought, that is here. The body, the sense organs and so forth are not he","and in the last century we've also seen the emergence of science as the main authority, and of the notion that science is the most objective human act","Now I think of something I used to have a dream about as a child. I remember being in this big field, and this enormous mountain is behind me, and I'm","I was thinking that a lot of the material I had studied, such as the teachings of Jesus and the Hindu teachings about the nature of the body, that it ","I have a picture of the human brain in my head right now. It's not a picture of a thing I can see with my eyes, but it's something that I can perceive","I'm trying to remember my childhood, because that was the time when my own body, my own being was being constructed. When my being was being built out","And now I remember that, when I was a child, I had the image of a big black man with a big hat who used to come to the house with a big white stick an","we've been here before. There's a little book. The book of the dead. The Book of the Dead. Well, that was the name that the ancient Egyptians gave the","The word 'divine', yes, it is a very good word. The word 'divinity' is also a good word, and it is a much better word, and also it is a","I don't have a body anymore, and it's in here. I'm just a voice in my head. And it's funny, because I used to think that that was the whole point of","and so I know what it is. That I am going to be a woman. And I know it's true, and it's as much a matter of fact as if it were the fact that","... and that's just the same as the mind, as the soul. And that's just as pure as the soul itself. And that's the real I; I don't know whether I am","and now this is a form of the beginning and the end of a process, and therefore it is a kind of an eternal, a form which is eternal and which is a for","and so I think of my friend who is now in the middle of death, who is dying. I think of his death as an absolute and an end of the possibility of his ","And this is all my world, this is it, all I see, this is all I know. I cannot tell the difference between this, this reality, and the other worlds I c","And I have this feeling of something that I'm a part of something, that I'm connected, to a larger thing, but that's the way I experience the universe","It's all the time coming from inside the mind, coming from inside. It's a lot of noise, a lot of images and sound and movement and sensation. It's not","And we are already in the realm of the imaginary, in the realm of imagination... And then I become aware that the things which are passing through my ","it is the most important thing to understand that what is happening in your consciousness is in fact the process of the universe. Everything you exper","so the idea is to follow this process without any interruption, without any analysis, without any intention of recording it. If one of the senses, one","I feel like I'm just walking through this world and I can't really see much of what is going on, and I'm very aware of what's happening. I'm aware of ","my eyes are closed and I don't think I've ever noticed the word 'I' before. The 'I' comes into my awareness just as I start to notice a feeling of pre","and that's a part of my being that is more than my body. It's in a sense a spiritual being that is already here, it's already in my body. My body is a","I am becoming aware of a place and I am becoming aware of the fact that there is a space where I am becoming conscious of the presence of the place wh","the second moment that you think a thought, you are in the presence of that thought, and you are in relationship to that thought. You are in a relatio","the moment that one becomes aware of this awareness of the moment. One is in the present moment, and then one can say, 'I am aware that I am in the pr","[I'm] seeing things that look like clouds, or I'm seeing shapes and colours and shapes and colours, and it's a different way of perceiving the world, ","the color green is very very rich, it's like a very deep sea, I know, it's not the surface of the water, I think it's the depth of the water and it's","a few minutes later, a piece of information from my brain, it has come in from an outside source. It has been in my consciousness for quite a while, a","that's the other thing, like, if you're seeing the world as if it were a dream, then all these other things that are happening at the same time are al","you know, and I'm trying to think, like, what is that really doing for you? What does it really mean, you know? How does it change the way I experienc","it's not very easy to have an experience of being conscious. I find I can't think of something, I don't really want to think of something. I mean, it'","I'm in a state of unconsciousness and I'm observing myself from outside, watching the process of my thoughts and emotions. I notice the existence of a","it's kind of like a strange feeling, like a strange, like a sensation or a feeling, of like a wave of feeling that just sort of takes over and kind of","it is like I have this moment where I have to keep quiet. It's almost like I'm in a dark room, but not quite. I have to switch off this kind of noise ","and I am thinking about the different parts of the body, and I'm noticing that there is a constant flow of energy or information going through the bod","and the words come out of me without being filtered. I'm not aware that this is a thought. I'm aware that these words are coming out of me, but it doe","and in that moment of thinking, you can access the future... in a very real sense. And so, we have to consider that the future is always there. But th","And it's the same thing with this very slow time...I'm also just able to sense, if you like, a much more subtle or deeper, almost a sub-conscious proc","my head was moving as I thought of the sky, and the sky and the sun and the earth and the sea and the ocean and the clouds and the atmosphere and all ","what's happening here? I'm not thinking about anything. I don't know what's happening, and I don't feel a difference. I see, I know, but there's no di","there was a problem, the problem is that I'm thinking about the problem, and I'm not thinking about the solution. So, the problem and the solution are","this is very interesting because the sensations are so subtle, so intricate that it is almost impossible to know whether they are coming from the brai","[I'm thinking about] how we would create a new world, and [how we would] make it better than our current one. So [how] does one create a new civilizat","a little bit like the sensation of time as it's passing, and when I say I'm in this space, it's really, I'm in the present. That's all it is, there","I feel that it would be good for my mind to be completely quiet, but it is not completely quiet. But I can hear the thoughts, the words that are comin","we are living in a world where we don't have to go out of our bodies to get information. ... We are living in the same world with the same environment","I am looking at the sky. I am looking at my eyes. I am feeling my body and my mind. I am experiencing my body. I am a body, and I am experiencing that","I'm doing it for a purpose. I'm doing it so that it can come out, and that's why I'm here. So I can see it, and I can experience it. I","and I have a feeling that the idea of the sun, of the solar system, and the universe and life are related to the idea of a wheel. And I can feel that ","[i]t's not just that my eyes are closed, it's that my head is not connected to anything. There is an object inside my head, it's not connected to my b","and I want to give them [the people] something that will make them happy and comfortable and joyful, and that is, of course, the first part, and that'","the visualized object was a spherical, translucent sphere in the center of the room. I saw the sphere and realized it was transparent, and that I was ","The brain is like a computer. It receives information from the external environment, processes it, and acts on it. It is a feedback system that contro","I was just looking at the word 'happiness' and thinking about this thing I learned once, which was that the word 'happy' has the same number of letter","we have two things that we know exist. We know we exist. We have a body that is made of atoms. We have another thing that we know exists: the world ou","now that we are getting on to the end of our little session of this experiment, I'd like you to turn your attention to some part of the experiment, in","Now I am looking at my brain. It is in the form of a tube. At the end is a brain stem that is the source of the consciousness. The brain stem is made ","the cat that I saw last night ... it's the first time I'm thinking about this thing... this is a little bit of a problem ... it's like a small piece o","I've been thinking about the [end of] the session. I'd like to talk about how that would have worked for me if I had been able to get to the state of ","this is a problem that is associated with the feeling of anxiety. The problem is that I'm looking at the same situation. The same situation is changin","I'll go through a door, I'll go to the other side, it will be dark there, it will not be my body any more, it will be the mind, it will have become","I am aware that there is a tension in the system that has not been resolved, and it is being stored in the physical body. If I wish to get rid of this","and what we were talking about earlier... the structure of space, the structure of the brain, and the structure of language. I don't know if there's a","The universe is all that is the case. Nothing is happening and nothing is not happening. All is happening in the present. The past and future do not e","so I'm talking to myself, I'm not talking to an audience, I'm just talking to myself. And this is where I find myself. So I can take a step back and l","I am here. I'm here and I'm thinking about things, and I am thinking about what's happening around me and I'm trying to figure out how I feel about it","I am really happy, I am in a state of happiness... but I don't know where this is leading to... and I can't, I can't do anything about it. I am,","I am a man, I am a woman. I am a child, I am an adult. I am an infant, I am alive, I am dead. I am. I am not.","I see it. It is the feeling, the experience of being in touch with something. It's a feeling. It's not an experience because it's a feeling, it's the ","and I am just sitting here. This is what I have. This is not just my own body, but my whole being is right there in this moment, in this space, and I ","so there is no reason for me to stop, just as there is no need to start. Just to be. Just to let that happen. What happens to me? I'm thinking about w","the idea of a quantum theory that would be consistent with consciousness... the idea that the quantum mechanical structure of consciousness would be a","and then the music itself becomes a part of the space that you're in, that's what music is. It's not a series of tones in a certain relation to each o","my name is (name)... and I'm the first to tell you that there is no name. That's an illusion. I don't exist. I don't have a name. I'm a","I have a problem here...I want to make this one...a square. I have the idea of a square. The square has certain properties. Let's assume we are given ","the plane of consciousness that's under my attention, it's really a field of attention, it is like a field that's being generated. It's like a field i","it seems like, that's actually the reason why I am in this room. I'm not actually here to talk. I'm just here to get into the state that I was in when","and I'm wondering if I can think a little more clearly, in order to make my experience of thinking more coherent and meaningful. So, maybe I should tr","the computer is going to give you the opportunity to access all of the information that you have available. And it is going to provide you with a new,","so, a bit of a story. So, in my life, I've always felt a bit of a wanderer. I've always been curious about what other people's experiences were, and I","this is a thought and then there is another thought which is a thought that is part of another thought. There is a kind of infinite regression in the ","it's a great experiment to do with people in the laboratory and it would be interesting to see if you can actually get people to do this as they're tr","I know this is not a formal research session, but I am interested in knowing how much of what is in your mind is in your conscious mind and how much o","I think about a little boy who was in a situation that I thought about in a previous session where he was having a conflict with his parents and there","I was having a hard time, because I was not able to understand myself as a whole entity, and this entity is the whole consciousness, and the whole sel","there was a little child and he was asked what is the best thing in the world. And the child replied, love. And then the child asked, what is the next","I am watching some of this stuff, some of the things that I'm learning about now. The idea that I have is that the energy of the mind, and the energy ","we have a system, and there's an element of this system, we have a system of values that is based on a system of assumptions about what is important. ","I see all these people with their problems and they come in and they are all seeking to solve a problem in their life. So then, we have a great system","I can see the brain as a series of parallel networks. So that when I see a situation or a problem or a thought, my mind is automatically looking at th","this is not a mind that's going to be very good at having some sort of a logic-based decision making... [T]hat's not how that mind works. It doesn't n","And you see that what is true is also beautiful, and what is beautiful is also true. That's the beginning of a very good process, and I think this is ","you know, it's a kind of feeling I've been working with for a while. And I think you could see it as a kind of model or an ideal of consciousness that","and then I go into the 4th Dimension. That's what I'm trying to say. In my vision, in the 4th dimension, there's a continuum of 3D forms","it seems like I'm going through some of the same stuff I've been going through, in terms of my practice, my practice of meditation. But, it's a lot ea","I'm in a space between thoughts. I'm not thinking a specific thought, but I have a sense that there's a relationship between a thought that's about to","that's the first thing that comes to my mind, that's what I am focusing on, and then I'm looking at this... this is where I am, and I have the questio","I remember this little bit that I wrote to myself, something like, 'you need to be really clear about what you want in order for you to have a more co","and we want to look for the relation between these two and maybe find a way to increase our mindfulness, and not just focus on the mindfulness, but to","I just started to think about how I was always, even in a very practical sense, really worried about things and now that I'm a parent, I really don't ","my thoughts are much more intuitive and not so much analytical... so it's an interesting experience for me to try to think more analytically about thi","I think of myself as being a child of the 60's. And I remember in the 60s when I was growing up, there was this sense that all this could change,","myself, I'm not even aware of what's going on. I feel like there's a lot going on inside, but I'm not aware of that. And what's going to help me","[it feels like] something is stuck, and I am stuck in my own body, and I'm trying to pull through, but it's so heavy. And I feel that I don't want","and if we start to think about our thoughts, then it's almost as if we've lost our thoughts because we've become aware that we're thinking. And then, ","I have an idea. I'm going to do something very different to all my usual exercises. I'm not going to be active, I'm going to be passive, I'm not activ","I'm going to have to see some of my friends, they might not know me as well and so on. I'm going to make some plans to get out and have some conversat","I was thinking of my sister and I were talking and I was wondering what it was like to have siblings. And I'm thinking that's a really good question t","And now I see a different part of the brain, which is the visual system. It's not the visual cortex, but it's actually the visual system which is the ","I'm going to turn on my phone and I'll start playing with this app. And this is kind of like a tool for the thinking mind, the thinking brain. It's ca","a sort of a sense of connectedness, like a flow of thoughts. Thatโ€™s actually a really interesting part about this. So when I say that it feels like a ","and the reason why we've been talking about how we've been so socially disconnected, is that we've been living in this world that's been constructed f","it's not that I think I'm going to be able to do that, it's that I know, I'm going to be a professional in the future. And I have that possibility and","the very fact of having the ability to think is itself a privilege... it's a very different experience to think about what's happening right now than ","I remember the first time I experienced my body and the sensation of it in a particular way, and I think it was the first time that I became aware tha","I can see some of those memories coming up, which are quite pleasant for me, but I'm trying to see what is going on in my brain at that particular mom","I have to figure out, what exactly am I experiencing in this moment. What's the quality of the experience, what's the quality. And then I start to thi","I am standing in my kitchen. I am thinking about the present moment. I am experiencing that right here in this moment, the kitchen, the sound of the a","I think of myself as a writer, as a communicator. And the more I write, I think that's something I need to do. I need to get this out. And I'm noticin","I know that the universe is so much larger than we could ever imagine. It's this feeling of being connected to everything. I feel a sense of connectio","and I'm thinking that I'm not sure that the right thing to do is to say anything at all because it might seem like I'm trying to get the attention of ","it's just the feeling that there's so much to be done, and it's like, it's kind of, it's not just this moment but this moment is always in the flow, o","the thought of wanting to be loved, and not being sure if it's the right way to be loved and what's the right love. Or when you love somebody, there a","I'm not sure, I can't really think about my life, and I think about my experience and what's happening now. I feel like I'm kind of just existing, and","I wonder how many times I've already been there before, because I have a strong sense of dรฉjร  vu, like I know what's going to happen, I know how it's ","you know you don't have to be a genius to do it... it's just you're willing to do it and to be there to receive it. That's it, that's it. I","I feel so connected to you and your feelings. It's almost like a complete empathy... like an empathetic state. It's a very interesting experience. It'","the music and the feeling of the music and of being in this state and it's a strange state but it's kind of good and then it's like you kind of drift ","I can hear myself thinking and talking, and I can hear the other person that's inside me, or in the room, that's not me. I'm just listening to this vo","the thought I had when I first started is, I wonder if it's possible to actually use this type of thing to understand other people and to be able to h","you can go to the other side of the brain, I feel like this is the kind of stuff we're talking about is the kind of stuff you would think of if you ju","I feel like I can just make connections like that in a non-conscious way. And it's like that in my head, I can just just make connections between thin","I've been in a state of meditation for some time. I just felt like my mind was so full of information, that my brain was like a water balloon and it w","just like, I'm taking a picture, and you're seeing it in this particular way, but if I were to change the way I'm taking the photo, then the photo wou","I don't know how to feel this energy, but I'm feeling that I'm open to it and that's an experience. It's like I'm on the surface. The sensation that I","and I'm saying the world is changing and we're experiencing something in real time, and I don't know, it's a bit overwhelming, I feel like I don't hav","this is how I was able to make the distinction between the first moment and the second moment...because in the second moment I felt something, somethi","I'm looking at something here... this is not the first time I've come here and thought about it. It's been some time. I'm thinking about the physical.","I'm not sure what I think about what is happening. I think about the relationship with you, and then I think about all of the relationships in this ro","you have to be really present in this moment to understand it, to be present, to be aware. You have to be aware of the present moment and what's happe","so my body is still here, but my mind is elsewhere. I'm looking at these thoughts and they come in all shapes and sizes and patterns. It's like lookin","the more we use the computer, the more we lose our intuition, the more the computer replaces our intuition. So there is a big problem in terms of what","this is where my thoughts are. They're like this... I have a very visual brain, I have a lot of visualizations. And I'm seeing these images right now.","I was thinking about the problem, it was sort of a creative process and the more you work with the problem the more you can see the different parts, a","I'm going to see this woman. This woman is my therapist and she is helping me. I'm going to get better in this therapy and it is helping me to think. ","you're really trying to sort of identify what is it that you're feeling, how do you know? ... [M]aybe there's a good analogy with that is like you are","I can see that the old way of thinking is what is still with us and the new way is not there yet and we are trying to reach this new way of thinking. ","I don't know why this is important to me to be here with you and this is what it is. It's what it means to be here. And it's about the right time. It","we should not forget that we live in a world that is connected. There is something that is common between us all. We need to look beyond our own ego. ","this is just how we should be. And it's so nice and pleasant, and that's why we are here. So nice, I can't wait to have it. And there's no reason","this is a new kind of mind. It's more powerful than our minds that we normally use. We can use it to achieve a goal of our choice, with all kinds of t","that's the most important thing, that the body has to be at a certain state of consciousness. When the body has this kind of consciousness and if you'","I'm here and I'm having an experience in this room, I'm having the experience of the room, and I'm in this room. So I'm having a mental experience and","I see the river flowing down the stream in front of me, and I feel a connection to this river. The river flows in a certain direction, and it feels li","you can imagine the most difficult thing to do is to put yourself into another's perspective and to know what is going on in the other person, and the","I see my mom is looking at me in the eyes, but it's not the eyes that I'm looking at. I'm looking inside. I'm seeing my mom's soul, seeing my mom","[I'm] wondering what I think about my work, about my job, and what are the things that I need to take care of, to make the right decisions and the rig","my name is Michelle and I am 35 years old. I work for a large organization that is involved in the pharmaceutical business. My organization has over 4","what you said earlier about the importance of the nature of the problem. This is really a great reminder of what Iโ€™ve learned about how I want to thin","that is, my life experience as an educator, has taught me how to work with students in ways that are more engaging, that are more, that I would call '","and it's going to be really interesting to see what's happening to my body when I do the work that I do in the group. Because the work that's happenin","now, there's an important idea that came into my mind. There's a common theme, a common theme in the teachings of Buddha. I remember going to the teac","I'm an artist, I've been a painter, a musician, and a poet. I've been very engaged in the arts for about 40 years now. The reason I'm engaged in","I'm thinking of the brain of Jesus. And what kind of brain do you think that was? I mean, if Jesus had a brain, what kind of a brain was it? It was a","what I'm thinking is that my soul is in a higher reality that is connected to this higher reality, which I'm in the body of. So, there's a duality tha","So I'm doing a lot of this sort of mental activity, I'm not necessarily focused on that, but I'm aware of the mental activity as it's going on. I'm al","It's almost like that... That's what it is. The self is nothing. I know what the self is. The body is the self. The self, as I say, is nothing.","I'm standing in my living room. The room is dark, I'm alone, there's nothing that's going on in the room. I don't feel anything. I feel like I am a","and I was just thinking, 'I'm not quite sure what you're talking about, but I'm going to keep this open. I'm going to have the room open to what you'r","we are doing that, right now, which is thinking. In a very simple way, thinking is a very complex activity, and we can't observe it directly, we can o","a kind of, kind of, a, a, an, a, kind of a, an intense, an intense emotional, an emotional experience that you have in, in, in meditation, or","[the] feeling that is what the soul is. And so then, the feeling of the body is an expression of the soul. And so, the feeling, the emotions, are what","I feel myself, I feel my body, and it is the same. It's the same for everyone, it is the body which is the same, and I feel I am my body. This","I see a dark forest. And I am a white light. I am a wave of light that is flowing into the forest. And it seems to be entering the darkness and light ","The sun comes up. In my mind, I am a little older than I am now. I'm in the sea, the water is warm, and it's an oceanic feeling. And there","what I remember is the last few days of my life. I remember that I've been dreaming and waking up, and that's how I feel right now. I feel like I'm dr","[...] And now, I'm having an experience. I'm having a lot of experience, actually, with these kind of phenomena. So, I'm able to make an effort, and t","It is not so much a matter of doing the experiment or the subject having to do the experiment, but a matter of having a certain attitude towards the e","I think I'd like to look at this, this thing, which is my own body, to see what happens in my own body when I'm asleep, to see, for example, if there","the first half of the session. I'm a little tired now, so it seems I'm trying to maintain the same state of attention for as long as possible, without","my body is starting to feel good, but the mind is very much engaged in a mental activity. The body is relaxing and the mind is thinking. The thoughts ","and I'm making up a list of what to say next. This is a conscious process and it seems to have a lot to do with what I'm thinking of next. There is th","[the image of] an open, empty space, with nothing in it. An open space, but not empty. An open, empty, but not void space. There's an emptiness,","[the participant's] mind was wandering, but they were aware of it, so it was like, 'okay, so that's what it looks like. Now, what is it that I am","I'm aware of the body, but I don't have that feeling of the body. I'm not sure if it's a good feeling or not. I'm aware of my body, but there","a voice saying 'I am not myself' ... a voice saying: 'I am a voice'. ... I see myself as the observer ... as if I have the ability to be aware of this","And you have to take a lot of time to listen to that. And I have to stop for a few moments before it happens. It's like the music in the background is","this is something that comes to the fore and is very clear to me. I am standing in a place, in this room, in which I feel very comfortable. I have the","and the other one was a question about whether I had made a mistake in my perception of something, whether I had had a moment of uncertainty, a moment","I'm so happy I can hardly sit down. I feel like I'm having a very strong feeling of gratitude and appreciation and being very present to my body. Ther","a thought arises of the earth being solid and then thinking that the earth is solid. A thought arises of solidity of the earth, solidity of the ground","and I see them as a child. I see them with a child's eyes. And then I can also see a man's eyes, a man's vision, and then I'm just a being","this is the thing that I can do: I can be a witness, I can see and be in this moment. I am the moment. I can do that. And then there is the memory","now there's this beautiful feeling of openness in my body, I can feel my body being open. I can feel, this feeling, there's a connection between the p","we don't have to do it. We don't have to think of it. We just don't think it. It doesn't have to be a thought. It doesn't even have to be","I am thinking about my life. I am thinking that there is this sense that I am moving forward. That's the first thing. And there is the sense that my l","I'm here now. I have the opportunity to be here right now, and I'm not afraid of the idea. I'm here, and I know that I can do something. I am consciou","a series of thoughts, a series of images that are appearing in my mind. And I'm having the experience of those images, and they're appearing in my bod","I was thinking, this is a very important moment for me because it's the time of year that is important for me for the season of winter and the season ","[thinking about] ... the reason that the other part of the mind... the mind... which is the... the part that is in the body that has to work to... to ","And I was going to say I don't know about that because I think we are already doing that to a certain degree. But that's just to me, that's just a bel","I'm thinking of the ideas that are there. And they're not coming up in a linear way. So I'm just trying to think about the ideas as they are coming up","what it's like to be a bird, to be a cloud, what it's like for me to be in the clouds? ... that I'm very much in the clouds. ... [A]","It's just like the time that I was walking down the street, and the man who was next to me, I had a feeling of, you know, what he was feeling, because","and then I can see the tree and the light and the tree is in front of my face and then I can hear this sound and I know it's me and then I think this ","I see something in my mind, there's a door, I'm in the room and the door is closed, the room is very dark. I think about how to open the door. I think","The air feels like a sea and we are on the ocean. We are going through an ocean. We're swimming. We are in the middle. I am going down. I feel that I'","I am here in front of you and I am you. You are me and I am here. And I am sitting here in this room with you. The space around me is solid and real a","it's as if you're trying to feel it. And I feel the word coming, coming up, and I have this feeling like this is not a real word. But I want to say it","the world is not something outside me; it is the meaning I give to my existence; the world is my existence. My body is not something inside me, it is ","I'm thinking, I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about... about this thought, which is in its own way an expression of your thought. I'm just thinki","And I feel very alive in this way, and it feels very good. It feels very good to have all of this awareness and knowing and understanding. ... I am so","I see the image of a little girl, of a baby. She is coming from the center, she is going to me, and she is going through me, and I see myself, as a","[thoughts about the body, and the brain, and the nature of the self] ... the whole world of thought is not the self ... the whole of the world of thou","in my mind I can't feel anything. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't understand. I see the air. There's something very dense, it's like a wall,","I see this image of a wave, like a wave in the ocean, coming up to the shore, and then receding back into the water. There are waves of consciousness.","what would it be like to be completely alone on the planet? No human presence. No life. I know that it must be very peaceful, but there is also someth","and then you feel your body... then I can move. And then I can imagine, that I move, that I feel. That I have a body. I can imagine that I am in a","I have this memory of something, of a feeling... I can't say what, but I know it is. I feel something and I can see it. It is a memory that I have,","And the first time I have the idea of being here with you is also the first time that I realize that I am really being with you and not with myself. I","this is just a bit of my own inner space. I just do it. I just look into it. I'm looking inwards and outwards. I'm just looking into the light. I","now I can see a different angle of this... [pause] ...a different angle of myself, with the eyes of my eyes. I'm looking at my eyes. This is the cente","I'm watching my own thought, my own mind, and I feel like I'm not being disturbed by thoughts or images, as if I'm not conscious of them anymore. My a","I can be a child. I'm a little girl. I'm inside a house. I'm going through my father's room, I'm searching for my mother's room. I'm searching,","It's not a part of the story; it's just the story of my brain. It's like the story of the brain; it's a story of my mind, of my thought. And","I am watching the back of my head. I am sitting here. I am looking at the back of my head, looking at my body. I am watching myself from outside. And ","[T]here's a big room in here that's like this. It's a sort of like a little cave or something, a small room, and I've got this huge, huge,","the silence, the emptiness, is filled with energy and movement and life. ...that's the way I like it ...I like that ...that's what I'm drawn to ...the","and so I'm thinking of some kind of relationship to what it is like to be an object in a world of objects. ... It seems to me that when you look at an","and that's a dream, so that is a dream. I've never been able to write about dreams. I've always tried to write about them, but it's not the same as wh","and you know I can't say, because I don't want to make it a little bit more specific or even to focus on one thing. Because when I do focus on one par","you know, I just remembered, I've done this before, I'm doing it again... but now I'm doing the same thing with different words, I'm experiencing the ","the voice in the right ear of my head and in the right hemisphere of my brain. ... The voice in my ear has a message, a thought. It has a message abou","It's a thing of beauty... the eyes, the eyes, of this particular girl I saw yesterday. It's like this... her eyes are full of light. And she's really.","The blue sky of this image, so blue. It is like the sea and yet it's not the sea, not the sea. I'm seeing the sky, and I'm seeing myself. I","I've got a new thing. I can see the back of my head. I don't think I can see my back right now. I'm lying on my back on the couch. And I","so I'm in a room. And I'm in the center of the room, and I'm looking through it. It's like I'm looking at a room, but the room is transparent and","the floor was the sky of the room and the room was a giant crystal ball in the sky... the floor was a giant canvas of light... I see myself walking on","I am standing in the middle of a field and the ground is dark blue. And I feel like I'm sinking into the earth. My body is sinking into the ground. I ","there is a sense that you have been here before, that there is something you know and that you have seen this before, but it is difficult to say, wher","I've been looking for a word, something that captures what I want to say. I think I'm getting a little closer to a word. I don't think I want to use t","then I realized it's not an image that's coming to me, it's not just the visual perception that comes to me, but that there's a texture. The texture i","(pause) ... I see a long hallway ... I think about a person ... I see two people in this hallway ... a woman ... and a man ... I can hear a woman's vo","And it's the same as the others. But I can feel a vibration inside me. It's like I have a sense of a body. I can feel its presence. It's not the same","I can feel the brain and I can feel the spine and I can hear the blood running and the blood is red and I feel the blood. I can feel this thread conne","I feel the image of my head going up, out of the body, and then coming back into my head again and again and again. And that image of the head moving ","I think about how I can describe what I see. It seems so difficult. What is it? I can't really say. But the thought of describing it is there, and it ","I've got the shape of the thing. I know it. I'm in a kind of dream, you know, and I'm... I'm floating and I'm feeling, and it's like","a little girl in a beautiful red dress is in the garden, the sun is shining on her. She is floating, I can see her heart, she is floating in the air, ","I'm still having this feeling like I'm in the middle of something. I have this feeling of being in motion. I don't know how to describe it, but I have","The words, the words, the colors, the colors of the words, coming and going. Iโ€™m thinking of the colors of a dress, and I see the colors in my head, l","I'm imagining a long, long hallway, it's a huge white corridor that goes on and on. And on either side are doors. And I'm standing there, I'm in the d","I'm in a tunnel, I'm going through a tunnel, and there is a light at the end. ... [The light] is the same as the light I see on the screen when I","now I feel I'm in a tunnel that's not straight but I don't feel I'm going in a straight line ... and I'm sitting in a chair and I'm in the chair and I","and then I start thinking about the day I'm going to die, and I'm going in and then I'm going out and then I've got to move my hands up and down and t","and now I have a word. Oh, no, no, it's not a word, it's a feeling, it's like... I can't remember what it was. But I have the","the kind of life we want to live, not the kind of body we have to live in, I mean, a body is just a medium, you know, it's like the medium of the","and this is my image of the sun and the earth and the sun, like a ball, moving around the earth and a third thing, and it's a big ball, and I'm inside","like a little girl who has just found a present she has been looking for her whole life. She doesn't have any more words. There is no need to talk. Sh","I have to write this down. It's about 7:20. It's all about time. Time in my body, and time in the world. What does time do to us?","And I'm thinking about how my heart is beating in rhythm with my brain. It's so cool that it's not just my brain that's beating, it's my heart too! An","my voice is a very long, long, long pipe and I'm in the center of it. And it's vibrating and then it's vibrating... I can feel it on my skin, vibratin","oh my gosh! It's the sun! Oh it's so beautiful. It's just a ray of sunshine. It's a ray of love. It's love. Oh it's the sun","[00:31:49] What do you see? A star, a galaxy. What do you hear? An owl hoot, a thunderclap, a wind howling","and a lot of birds...they're singing...a lot of birds singing and the light is getting very bright...they're birds singing very loud and bright...brig","the word that was left is...the word is a...the word that came is the word that...a word is coming...the word...the word is coming, but the word...the","I remember, when I was young and I had an adventure with a dog and a butterfly and I had to pick it up and it was flying around. It was my dream. It w","I can feel my face like a little red flower, but my eyes are black, like a black hole in the universe, and I'm trying to look at the black hole. It's ","there are things I'd like to say but I can't ... I can't think them ... I can try to say them but they come out all wrong ... they're all wrong ... I ","what is your name? What is my name? My name is the word of the name. It is the name of all the words that I know, of all the things I have to say.","all these people...they have been to my country too...I am an old man...I am a priest...and I do not understand these things...but I know...I have see","I'm going to take the children to school. Oh, how I long to go there. Oh, the birds and the flowers, and the sun and the clouds, and the wind that blo","the flowers in my garden are so beautiful and fragrant, I can smell them so clearly and see them, the stars, the nightingale, and the moon; they all a","in the same way I am the world... the world is a big dream... a dream of love... it is like a flower... when a flower blooms it is a world... a dream ","I can feel my hair and the way that it moves in the breeze, and I can feel the wind in the trees, and the trees in the mountains and I can hear the wi","you are in the sky, you are flying, you are on a high plateau. You are in the air, you are high, high up, you are looking down at a very small island ","the feeling of a lightness, as if I am floating in the air, in this white space, of pure, silent light. The white light, the pure light, the blue ligh","and suddenly, like this. Ah! Ah! Ahh! Aha! Ah! Oh! ... I see it. I see it! I see it in the air! It is shining in","it's hard to be still, really still, but that's what I want to do. It is hard to be really still. I feel the tension of it inside me, like a rope in","the woman said that she was not there for the benefit of the children, she did not wish to be there to nurse them. It was too much. I saw that. I did ","it is necessary for the soul to be prepared by a pure love. And we have to learn to love pure love. I want to love. I do not want to do anything. I do","a little girl, she is so little and she is running, she is running towards me, she is a little girl, and I am not afraid of her. She is running toward","a voice says to me, 'This is my voice, and it is not in you,' but it is I who have not a voice to call upon. There is nothing that I have not heard","I am, I am the very centre of all things. I am the light, the word, the spirit of the universe. I am everything, I am all things, I am every thing.","it's not so bad, not so bad... we'll see. I can't be certain what will happen. And the word 'will', will itself is uncertain. And even more so that wo","I see a blue, a violet, a pink, a dark violet, a light violet, a violet which is very violet, and there is a violet which has been brought into being ","then it comes back to me: 'How do I know if I am in a dream or not?' But I do not know. But I do know, that in a dream, there is always","And I think of a garden with trees in it, with white, white flowers, and in the trees the sun is shining and the little white flowers are falling and ","the heart in its most beautiful way, a great star in the middle of a garden of flowers, the earth and the stars, the earth with all its flowers and th","I am not afraid of dying, I am afraid of the world not understanding me when I die, that's all, that's what I fear, the world not knowing me, not know","it is a sad thing that we can't talk to each other... oh! Oh! Oh! (the sound of thunder) that's wonderful! (laughs) Oh! Oh! No! No","and you were born because you were needed...and you were brought to this world to find your soulmate, but he was not in your time. Your soulmate would","it's been a long time, and you know it was a long time. I mean, you know it's been a really long time, but it was really short. It was short, but","I had been playing a game on the computer where you had to type in the answer to the question. It was a sort of quiz game, and the questions were very","and I'll be thinking about a dream that I have. So I'll dream of the city of Venice, and I'll see the piazzas, and the gondolas and the people","And I'm like a butterfly, fluttering, in the air, in the dark, and then the sun comes and I'm like this, a butterfly, in a world of light and color.","and he was a very pretty man. I don't know why, but he was. I wonder why he was so pretty. Oh, he was a young man. He was a young poet.","there's a voice saying, 'I've been here before, I'm coming again', and there are two wings, and they come and go, and there is a face that has no face","(Sigh) (Sigh). (Pause) It's so beautiful, isn't it? (Pause) (Pause) I'm going to tell you a story about the one I know who","The dark night. I am on the beach. The sea is calm, the stars are out, the moon shines. I can hear the sea. I feel the sea. The sea... I am","a bright light, like a candle in the sky, and it's a sky of very dark blue, and I look out into it with my eyes closed, and I see a line of stars like","the word that comes out of your mouth, that word will be like a knife, will go through your brain and you'll feel a sensation, like a sensation of lov","the shape of the black glass of the deep sea, the darkness of the ocean, the depth of the ocean ... the sea of stars ... the stars in their brightness","and it's the same with the sun; it's like the sun, it's like a child, it's a child that's very young. And then it grows old; and then it grows","and there was a tree...a tree in a garden...and it had green leaves...and green leaves...that were very beautiful...and a light came from the leaves, ","and they were the first to greet me. They were the first thing I saw. And it was all so bright and so beautiful. I could see them with my own eyes. An","I've been dreaming that I'm walking in the desert. I don't know how long I've been walking. I don't feel tired. But there are no plants in the desert,","the day is still grey and white, but it's already a bit warmer and a little light in the sky, a little more light in the day... it is still very quiet","the body is made up of light, light that has fallen on the earth. It has become earth, it is light, the light that has become earth and which is light"],["the way things are...the way things used to be...the way they ought to be...the difference between the way things are and the way they ought to be. Li","so the little girl said 'you know, you ought to be here to tell the story, and we don't want to leave you out. We want you to be a part of the story,","I was in my 10th or 11th grade...I was going to the school play. I was in the school play and I had this friend who was an actor in the","And I remember going to visit my grandparents in California, and I remember going over to see my aunt's house in Los Angeles and she had a huge yard. ","you know, there's this one guy, he's really handsome, he's one of the guys in my class, and he's, like, 18 years old, and we met him","and it's all gone by and, uh, I'm still, I'm just, uh, a little bit sad about it, uh, cause I've been a friend of, of one of","[T]he reason I can't remember anything of this [last class] is because you told me to do it [take notes] and I didn't because I had to listen to some ","I'm thinking of a time when I was a child and my mom had me on my lap, and I was playing with my toys and she had to get out and go to the bathroom, a","and, like, I, I don't know, I don't even think about it, it's like, I guess it's like a really good thing for them to be in a state,","I am happy. I'm going to try to eat something. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I think I want a snack. I think I have a snack at home. It's","a car, I'm driving in the country, I see a dog... I see a road... I see the sky is cloudy. I see a white house, with a red door and a dog","I wonder what it would be like to be a man. ...I wonder what my mum's going to do if I tell her I'm going to do a course in French. I suppose she'll","and I thought I'd have a nice picnic at the park - no, not now, I don't want to go anywhere today. Oh well - tomorrow. But I'm not going to go -","[it's] a picture of a tree. It's a nice picture. It's got a tree and it's got a girl in it. It's not a real nice girl but she's","the train's stopped again. I wish it would start. And then there's a lot of people standing by the platform. There's a man on the platform with a litt","and there I was sitting in a restaurant, and I was reading a book and then I saw a woman coming out of the restaurant with a baby, and the baby was we","and there was the tree, and I was in the garden and I had just got home, and I had forgotten about the cake, but it wasn't too late, it was only half ","I've got to get hold of my camera. I want to take a picture of the garden. It's really beautiful. ... I'll put it in the drawer, just like a picture. ","we're going to go and do the washing, aren't we. Yes, we're going to do the washing. I'd better put my things away. Oh, here's the washing, all","and then he (the man in the black suit) came round again with the newspapers and said, 'Do you want the newspapers?' And I said, 'I don't want any, th","it's all right if you don't do the things, you can still have tea, you can have a piece of chocolate, it's all right, I don't mind, it's ok if","I'd like a nice long shower. There's a little window in my room and it looks out onto the sea, so you can see the sea even if you're in the bathroom. ","I want to have a cup of tea. I want a cup of hot milk. I want to have some more strawberries. I'm hungry. I'll have some cake. I like cake. I","there was this little girl in the kitchen, she was looking out of the window, there was a garden full of daffodils and there was a cat sitting there o","and then a bit of a crocodile... I was making some kind of lunch... I had a little white egg, and a blue egg... and it had a little hole in it... and ","I see the man that's been to the house in the woods before. He's got a long nose and a black beard, and a big black hat and black boots. He's a big ol","well, I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm a bit tired. I've had a pretty heavy day at work today. And I think I'm a bit hungry, but I don","and now I'm going to look at my leg, and I'm going to rub it because it's sore. And I'm going to have to go to bed early because I have to work tomorr","and then I was driving down the road and there was a little girl walking down the sidewalk with her hair in a ponytail and her socks were dirty... and","it was a dream I had the other night. I was at home and my mom was standing in the doorway. I asked her why she wasn't sleeping in the bed next to me.","I'd like to go to the movie this weekend. We have a day off on Saturday, and I'd like to go the movie. I don't know what the movie is yet. I hope","and i think maybe they've moved to a different apartment and they don't live at 970 yet... [pause] ... i'm thinking of the time that we went to the re","you have to give him a name...okay...i'll give him a name..i can't think of a name for him right now...what's his name...well i can't think...","I know where I am! I'm in a place I've never been before. It's a beach! There's a big house with a white top. It's so pretty and white and blue","and now it's the third floor, and I'm trying to see if I can figure out what was the name of the woman that had a baby, and we had to go out and buy a","[it] like a... it's not a... it's a... a... a l... it's like a... a ... [something] that you... like you'd see in... like","I'm on the plane, I'm on the way to...I'm on...I'm in the car, I'm in the...in the...I'm driving to...to the...I","and I guess that was the second part of the experiment. But then I was trying to figure out if I was going to go on a trip in March or if I was just g","the phone rang and I answered it and it said they got the wrong phone number and then I went up to the kitchen and i started thinking about where the ","the lights in the room are out and I'm in my pajamas. I'm not sure why I'm wearing pajamas but they're still on. I'm in the bathroom with my bathrobe","okay. Um, yeah. Oh, my foot. [foot rubbing] What I've been doing today. My feet are kind of hurting. Oh, oh. Well, I guess they're kind","so my cat, I think he's going to sleep for a while, so I'm gonna lay on the floor and read my book. And then, I'm gonna, you know, wash my","I need to find a good song and I'm trying to find a song and I'll just find a song on youtube and then I'll listen to it and then I won't have to list","oh, so if the sun is 100 degrees outside, you could get the ice cream on a stick out there, you could even wear a bathing suit because it's 90 degrees","I'm gonna wash the dishes tonight. And I'm gonna finish my book. And I guess I'm gonna get ready for school tomorrow. And I'll get ready for work afte","there's that word on the list. The first one is 'bloom', which I forgot to write down. And the first letter is a b. And the next one is a g. And","I wonder where we can get the paper to cover this up. The toilet. Bathroom. No. The kitchen. No. ... The living room. I have the remote control here. ","so I'm at a restaurant with my mom and I'm having a burger and the burger was good and then she was like 'What are you going to get next?' And I said ","I'm eating breakfast. My mom and dad and my sister. We're sitting around the kitchen table, and my sister just asked me what's my favorite breakfast. ","[i]t's [a] good... [i]dea for a... [i]r [t]eam... [i]f [we] [i]do [a]","and I want to get to know him better. I want to make him feel comfortable in the kitchen so we can make our own meals together. I want him to be excit","I have a cat at home... I'm not really sure what to make of it... I know I have to keep it healthy, but I'm not sure how to do that... I think I","I was in the bathroom at my parent's house and I was like 'I'm not going to eat the sandwich because it's gross', so I just ate it anyway. And I was l","i'm gonna go on a diet i'm gonna make a plan to lose weight i'm gonna get back into the gym because i need to get healthy i need to be able to do a fe","this is what you need to do to get out of it. I don't know what to do, but i gotta do something. and this is what i do to get me out of it...","I guess I could just make up a story about my dog. Oh, that's not a bad idea. I could say that my dog is named Max and he's really into doggy daycare.","we need to have this house with a shed too. I want to have my dog out there with the cat. I think that the dog is getting tired of the cat. the cat is","a couple of cats on the couch. and we just saw a couple of cats on my mom's couch and they were sitting on a little cat bed in the corner. they were j","and then, and then, I got a book that i read, and it's just this like little one page book, like little books. And it's just like, it's like a little","[T]hings i'm thinking about is [M]ike and [M]arcus and [L]ouis and [M]r. [P]eckham...[i","and then I was like, oh I can't wait to start my new job in a week. And I'm also excited for my birthday coming up this weekend. And then I remembered","so i'm like oh i have this like really really really long list of things i want to do this week and it's like like this and then this and then and the","the worst part is that we still don't know when we're going to get to do any work...if we even get to do work because I don't know if they're going to","just had to stop. Just had to stop because i had like, 200 emails and i just. I just kept. Just keep saying like, 'just delete it, just delete it","I was in a dream again. I don't remember what it was about, but I was in one and then I woke up and then I went to sleep again and then I was in that ","I wonder why we're talking about this at work, why I have to talk about it now. Maybe it's because of that dream, and now it's coming up. I don't want","oh, I have to go to bed early because of work. I haven't gotten any sleep, and I just need to rest. I think I'm gonna take a nap right now. Oh no","I think the question is, why did I think that? That's a good question. That's a great question. That is a really good question. Because I feel like, y","I feel like I have to get some work done, like I'm always saying, I need to get some things done...but I don't know, like, I'm trying to be productive","I feel a bit tense right now. I think I have a lot of stuff on my mind, but I'm going to try to stay focused on what's important. I'm a bit anxious ab","itโ€™s like a puzzle right now...Iโ€™m trying to get these pieces to fit together...and then...Iโ€™m like...oh...okay...I get it...but Iโ€™m also like...","and then I see this bright light and it's like a light show. It's like a rainbow. It's so beautiful. It's a light show and it's so beautiful and it's ","Iโ€™m in my studio and Iโ€™m thinking about how to make a picture. I want to make a painting thatโ€™s abstract. Iโ€™m trying to come up with a good title for ","Iโ€™m feeling really comfortable. I feel like Iโ€™m really relaxed. Itโ€™s a bit like being on the couch with someone. Itโ€™s like thereโ€™s a space to breathe ","and I'm watching, like a mother bird watching her chick or something... and it's just like it's a big moment, but I'm not feeling it... I feel like I'","I have a funny thought just now. Like, the thought of a long time ago where I was on holiday and I had a really lovely lunch. Like a bit like this, bu","it's like when you're at the bottom of a big pile of shit. And then there's a big chunk that comes out. You're just like, 'yeah, this is going to happ","I'm sitting here on my computer. I'm a bit bored. I'm sitting here and thinking about my life and how I'm going to die. I'm thinking about my parents ","I'm looking at a screen, and I'm thinking about my friend. He's not here. He's been gone for a long time. He's in a hospital and he's been there for","I can't do this. I'm going to get a headache and fall asleep and just wake up. I don't think I'm going to do this. [sigh] I don't even","and I just... like I said, I'm trying to figure out how to do this whole thing. I don't know if I'm doing it right or wrong, but like, I'm not","I don't know, you know, the way I feel is, like, I don't know if I'm actually doing anything, you know. I don't really know why I'm here,","my legs feel really numb, I feel like I'm going to fall asleep. I'm having these really bad dreams, where I'm drowning, and I don't want to drown, and","I need to make a coffee. I'm trying to make some kind of a smoothie or something. I don't really know. I'm just going to put some coffee in. It's like","I feel like I'm about to vomit. I'm so angry and I'm just really frustrated. I feel like my body is reacting to my emotions because I'm like so tired ","you know, the first time I had like a cold, like I was a kid like I was 10, and I was like sitting in my room, and I just couldn't breathe.","[Sigh] I don't know, I'm just having a hard time putting myself into it. I'm not a very good person. I don't like to be alone. I don't","my dad and my brother. They both have depression and anxiety. I think the anxiety is coming from my parents and they've made it worse for me. They are","like in the game where it's like, like you're like, you're just, you know, like, you just, it's just, you can't do it, like, like,","and they're like you know, 'Hey, you're like, 'What? This is like, this is so weird.' And I'm just like, 'Yeah, I'm going to do","Iโ€™m trying to think of some movie I watched once where a guy tries to figure out what heโ€™s gonna do for Halloween. Heโ€™s like, โ€˜I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m d","so it's a really cool video that I saw on Instagram a week ago or something like that. I remember it was like a week ago. It was just like a really we","I don't know what to do. It's like it's on my mind all the time. It's really hard. Like if it was like the other day I was like 'oh, what","I was like, I've been feeling really stressed and just, and I don't know. It's been a long week and it's just been, you know, and, and I was just","it's like when you're in a car and you're just like 'yeah' because you know, there's just like you're going like 100 miles an hour on the highway and","this whole idea that, I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore...like I've had like a mental breakdown of my identity and I've been in a, you kn","itโ€™s kind of interesting that I was just thinking about a lot of this stuff because of the fact that Iโ€™ve been going through a breakup with a partner ","it was like we were just in that weird space and just like you know everything is going on but you're like not processing it or you're just like what ","I feel so angry and sad about my friend leaving, but I'm also happy that we're hanging out again. I think I might go to the gym tomorrow. I need to ge","I don't know, I just feel like I need to find out what the deal is with my hair, you know. I've got a lot of stress right now, you know, I've","and itโ€™s really weird how Iโ€™ve been like... like... you know Iโ€™m like just kinda... just... trying to find my feet... like, Iโ€™m like trying to figure ","you know I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to do something about getting over this issue of not having a job. And, I'm not really sure, I've been","just like how my dad and my mom are very close, but also he's like a really cool guy, like a really nice guy. And he's like he's, he's very, like","I'm so tired of this whole thing. I mean, I'm just like, I don't even know what I'm doing here. Like I've been with this person for three months and w","you're like my little sister. Like, I'm gonna get you out of there. You're like, no I'm not I'm gonna make you out. But I just got like I'm","i feel like i'm not a very good person for a lot of reasons. but i feel like i could be a good person. like, i've seen it in other people and i've see","I wonder if they can tell. Like I think I feel like I'm starting to... I don't know if I'm gonna be okay like this. I feel like my thoughts are still ","I feel really uncomfortable with being so inconsiderate of the world and being so selfish and being so greedy with money. It's hard to control your ow","my face was hurt. My face was hurt from the beatings from my brother, but I feel like I can't tell my brother that my face hurts and I've been getting","I don't want to have this conversation. But I don't think I can stay quiet about it either. I mean, like if it comes down to that, I just wanna be abl","it feels like a good start. I guess you know you can't stop now, and so, it's good that we're doing this, like, I've been wanting to talk to somebody ","the whole of my family was in the apartment that night. We were all talking. My dad was telling a story. It was like a story, but I couldn't really un","I don't know how long this will take. I'm really glad I'm going to see you, but I don't want to cry or anything like that. I really do want to talk to","I really need to make a decision about that. It's not like I have any regrets about my past, I know I made the right decisions. I just... I need to fi","Iโ€™m also thinking about what the other day, what I said about, about the other person, the other person saying that they were also very upset. Like, t","It's okay to talk to them. It's good to talk to someone, you know, because, you're like, I'm just trying to like, like, I don't want to be","And I feel like my mind is like a mind with like a really heavy burden of like. I don't know like if it's like a trauma. I think I had a like a like a","what's the big difference between you and your dad? I'm a lot more kind. I'm a a lot more accepting. I think, I think he's very closed minded. He's a","And I was in my room and I was trying to figure out the answer to a math problem in my head and it was just not coming to me and I'm like, why is this","and I was just thinking about a dream I had... I guess the dream was about like 10 days ago... I don't remember what the dream was like... I don't rea","I was trying to think of some way to end this with a punchline. Maybe something about the time we got back from the beach and you didn't want to go ho","I'm not sure if this is related, but I'm thinking about the movie 'The Godfather' and I was thinking about how in the movie, when Michael says to his ","I'm thinking about this whole situation, and I'm kind of relieved that it's not the end of the world. But I'm also still feeling really anxious about ","this is kind of scary, this is kind of exciting, you know, like, I'm kind of in a place where I feel like I need to push through, like, maybe I need t","and it's a little bit sad that my mom is moving away, and I haven't really told her that I'm going to be at a new school, and I don't want to tell her","my son got a new dog, and I think it's so cute. I was talking about my new dog in the car with my parents yesterday, and I was like, 'I want to get","And then I'll make like a big fat snowball. Yeah, snowball. And then I'll hit him with it. And I'll call my mom. And I'll tell her that I","like, I mean, I'm just like, I'm like, I don't know, I feel like I'm like just... like I don't... I don't really know, I don","I'm not sure if I have a job offer... I'm like... I just got a text from my old employer. So I'm like, hey, I'm like back in the game!","[it's] hard to believe that I haven't done a lot of these things. I'm just going to say it. I have a lot of work to do in the future, I need","so thatโ€™s... [pauses, then starts to think again] okay, so Iโ€™m in New York, right? And Iโ€™m staying at the hotel [pauses]... and Iโ€™m","my phone's on vibrate and it's ringing, I think it's my mom calling me, it's like my dad was texting me and he's like, you know, if you see any","like a really weird kind of, I guess, I don't know what, but I was just like, I'm like, I have a plan right now that's gonna make me really happy.","you know what, I don't really like it because I think it's kinda, you know, it's kinda weird cause I'm like, you know, I'm like a bad example, so","I had to find my glasses. I don't know why. I think they're in my phone. It's a thing. Like my glasses are in my phone, I can just pull them out","yeah, the thing that I've been wanting to do, I know it's not gonna be super fun, but I need to do this to kind of, I don't even know, but I","so you can kind of see that. So, you can like, you can do something like this. Like if you're like, so you can, so if you want to kind of like,","I'm, I'm just sitting here and thinking about all the times I've been really, I've been in a relationship before and I've always been in a really grea","I feel like I'm trying to get to an interview, it's like my schedule is all messed up. I'm like, 'I gotta get to this interview,' and then I think to ","it's like when you're looking for a word in your head and it's like you're looking at a dictionary and you're just scrolling through it and trying to ","so I'm just talking to myself here right now like I do all the time and I'm just gonna talk out loud and see how it sounds. So like, you know, it's ju","I remember being in high school, and I remember being in a school play and there was a guy next to me who was like, oh my god, it's gonna be like a mi","the things that were most interesting for me were like, all of the things that were in my mind before I actually started recording, I mean like, I was","it's kind of hard to say because I think I've gotten a little bit used to it but I can't think of a time when it's like, okay, I was like, I can","I've got a list of my top three favorite songs from the past week. And my favorite song from the past seven days was the song that I listened to the m","yeah, Iโ€™m not sure about that either. I mean, like I donโ€™t even know like what the other option is, so, like I said, Iโ€™m like, I donโ€™t know","I feel like this is the beginning of something. It's gonna be good. And I feel like if I do the right things and I don't do bad things, it's gonna be ","like a rock, yeah. Like a rock. Like a 70-pound rock, and I was like, okay. I was like. Like, I've got this weight, and I'm","I don't know what to do. It's a weird situation. It's just not something I've ever had to deal with before. I'm trying to think of a way to handle it,","I don't think I've ever really thought about it. It's like, you know, I have so much going on in my life right now that I just feel like I have to foc","I guess it's just because I know my mom is going to be really disappointed in me because she just sent me that text that like she was going to take me","I feel like Iโ€™m in a dark, rainy forest, but itโ€™s just me and this guy Iโ€™m with. Itโ€™s just the two of us, and itโ€™s like, 'Iโ€™ve","what do you do when you're feeling lonely? It's hard for me to do this... because I don't want to have to put up with people who are trying to manipul","this is a bit of a weird thing to be doing but I feel like I'm kinda making a podcast or a journal about what happens in my head. I feel like people h","And then he said, 'Oh, hey, I'll see you tomorrow!' and then he hung up on me, which I just really felt like he was trying to make me feel like it was","it was, it was an exercise of me kind of being like a coach or like, like, like a like, like somebody that's coaching you in your relationship, and th","I am thinking of when I first learned how to be an artist, I had a class with this professor and he would always have us make something with a piece o","I mean, that's what you have to do when you have the opportunity. Like when you're looking for a new place to live, you have to kind of, you have to g","I'm going to get to know you better and I think this is a really great thing. You know, I want to be able to be able to connect with people. So it's r","I think, I'm still in my car. I'm at the bar. I'm in the parking lot of the bar. And I'm just gonna be here for a little bit. I'm","you know, there's a guy that I really like, but he doesn't really have anything going on with me, you know, and so I'm kind of trying to figure out th","And the only thing I can think of right now is that I've got a couple of friends that have been struggling with anxiety. And they've been trying to li","I'm watching a show that I'm really not into, but I'm watching it because it's just a show, and it's not like I have to be like, super into it or anyt","and then it was like a little bit of an accident. So we had a big family meeting with a friend, like, just the five of us. So that was the only one, t","Iโ€™m starting to think that, you know, this is going to be a really weird kind of year for me, but you know, Iโ€™m still going to do this. So, Iโ€™m","like, it's like, we're in a dark room and we're just like, 'Let's, you know, make a lot of noise, like, and like, have a party,","the whole time, the other thing that you know is you kind of just want to feel good and you want to feel comfortable and I think if you can do that th","like when you see something and you're like, you can't see this, but you're like I feel like I'm going to cry now. And it's like when you're like real","I have a good night's sleep, and I'm actually going to make a good first impression at the job interview. I don't think that I'm going to be too nervo","and that is my problem. I just get so overwhelmed with the amount of content and I don't really know what I want. Like, I don't want to write about po","I'm gonna go back to this movie, 'The Art of Self-Defense', I just watched it. I watched it yesterday, and it's like, I don't know, like, I","so like I said, my day has been kind of hectic, I've been working on like my other video, and I'm trying to like finish it up and get it done and it's","it's like this, the kind of like, the type of things, like the things that I'm looking for are things like, like a really like, like I'm looking, I'm ","um I'm trying to think of something that's kind of like what you're talking about um so I'm like I'm trying to come up with some ideas and just kind o","the whole reason for it is that it's kind of like a social platform for people to... you know, I've been talking to a lot of people on my phone, you k","I just found the word. It's so hard to find words. It's like the language is so vast and you're trying to find the right thing to say or the right thi","[in the US] I think it's a little different because they are much more likely to use technology and a lot more likely to be online. I think it can be ","I'm just sitting here. I've got no ideas. I'm like, what do you have to say? So, it's, it's interesting that when I'm just like sitting here,","so you don't want to go back to your old friends because they're so mean and it's like they're just trying to like get you to like be mad at them like","I feel like I don't have time for me. And I wish I could be like, I could be myself more. I could be, like, more relaxed and more calm. I guess I","my favorite things to do are to hang out with my friends, we hang out together and we're chill and we watch movies and stuff. And I love like hanging ","And it was like this, I don't know if you saw, but you're like the main character in a game. Like if you want to do something, but you know that the p","[A lot of people] really like being like, a little bit of a bully on social media, just like, you know, like, like, if you're like, like you, like","[S]omething that really struck me last night, I just thought about it and I'm gonna say it's an important thing to keep in mind, and it's this thing w","I know the show is about to be over...but I feel like I can't bring myself to leave the show because I feel like there's a lot to get through. Like th","it's been a while since we talked. I'm so happy. I was trying to think about the last time we talked and it was like, three years ago? Maybe four? Lik","I know that I'm a terrible person, for a long time, I've been having these feelings that I don't know if it's because I was really worried about the n","so I know I have to try harder and I need to be more grateful to all the things that are happening in my life and to all the people around me. So I'm ","And I had a dream...I was in a store. There was a guy at the front door and the door was locked. I had to wait in line to get into the store. There we","the words you just saw, right? Yeah. They were on there. I think it's because I've been looking for a job and I've been doing a lot of interviews late","and you know it's been like this for a while. It's just like it's just like a part of my day. And I'm like, 'oh, you know, just like you","I have been talking to someone about how I want to stop being a dog. It's not very... it's not very far, but it's definitely not that close to being a","and it's a little bit sad actually, because I can see myself not getting my dream job, and I just think it's very unfortunate because I've always want","and I have no money. I have no job. And I have no friends and I don't have any family that I talk to. I have my mom. And my mom is in a relationship","[I have] a feeling that this year I will get better at things. I feel that I am just going through all this crap that's going on right now. I'm just t","I don't like you. I hate you. I'm just done with you. It's going to be hard for me. I don't really want to talk to you. I donโ€™t want","I'll be honest and say I feel like I'm being judged by everyone around me for being gay, and I don't think I'll ever be able to come out because of it","I know I should not be here, but I am. I canโ€™t stop thinking about the last time I was here. I feel like Iโ€™m suffocating. Iโ€™m scared. Iโ€™m","I think it's the same feeling of helplessness. I think that's why I'm here, because I need to feel like I'm doing something. It's the same thing. I do","I think that's the reason that my depression got so bad that I can't even write anymore. I just feel like my life is over. It's going to be hard, but ","and I'm still not feeling anything. I mean, I'm starting to feel better. But it's like nothing has changed, you know? I'm still struggling, still feel","I'm feeling so disconnected and alone. Like I'm just going through the motions, trying to keep it all together, but I don't even know if I can anymore","it's just so hard sometimes, like when you feel like you're not good enough, or when you're tired and it feels like everything is just weighing you do","and then it just kind of goes. It's like, I don't know. It's hard to describe. It's just like, I can't explain. It's not. It's.","I've been feeling so lonely lately, like I have nothing to do and I'm just sitting here, staring at my phone all day. It's like I can't focus on anyth","what about, what are you like when you're not doing anything, you're not stressed out or anything, you just you're kind of chill, like you don't reall","I was thinking about, like, why people are so negative and it's just like, why can't you just like, like, move on or something? I was, I don't know,","And then I just sort of keep going on like, I don't know, I keep going on, just like, like, like, I mean, I don't even, I don't really","and i think i'm like... i know, like i'm just like I have this like, a bunch of people like you know, my friends and i like I'm just like, I'm","I'm doing a bunch of other stuff in the morning. I'm, you know, I'm like, I'm trying to like, keep things fun and stuff. Like, I'm not like","it's a very interesting conversation... the guy has like a big red shirt... it's really hot outside, I mean, and you're in like this really uncomforta","yeah like like I mean like I don't even like I don't really like like I'm like I don't know like I feel like I'm just I'm just not feeling like I'm no","and my thought is it's hard to be a single parent, and I guess I don't get into it because I don't really need it. I think I'm in a relationship now t","my wife and i are going to go to the park tomorrow and we're gonna have a picnic and we're just gonna chill out, like we do usually but i think there'","and I'm gonna start wearing like, like, you know like a full costume or something like that, you know, for the first time. Like, it's gonna be my firs","i think... that... maybe... it was... that... they were... like... i think... they were like... like... like a bunch of... a bunch of weirdos... like.","oh, that's a good one, i should go back and try that again, that's, that's so much better than last time. Oh, i'm still thinking about that. Oh,","so... I'm just like... you know I'm like... just I'm... I don't know I don't really like to go out a lot... like I just... I don't like","I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm doing this, but I'm like, well I'm really tired of like, of like, I don't know like, it's just like I","i'm not going to say that i have a plan for how to fix it, but i'm like, okay. I'm just thinking it. Like I don't know. I mean I don","it's hard to believe it's 2022 because I feel like I'm still stuck in my twenties... but then again, I've been like this since I was a kid... like","I'm not sure why I'm here. I just showed up. I think I have been here a while. It feels like it, at least. I'm not sure if I have to finish","I feel like I'm getting better. I think the depression is just going to be like a long phase or something. I'm going to be in a really deep deep hole ","I've been thinking about my mom. I think I have an anxiety disorder. Like, I don't know how to do anything for my body and I feel like I can't do anyt","and then it's like, they're just so upset. And like, they can't, they're so overwhelmed and they just want to be loved and they just, they don't know ","my son has just asked me how we should say 'happy birthday' in Spanish... and I realized that I don't know it and then I felt so bad. Like, I don't ev","my whole life feels like a dark and dark abyss. I have no light at all and I don't know how to get out of this dark and dark. I don't want to be sad a","it's just like this, like you know, when you're trying to have a conversation but then you're like, 'Oh, I'm having a hard time thinking of anything t","[a]lmost like it's not even mine and I just don't know where to stop or start. ... [I]f I think about that, I get super sad and then I","I'm here in the room, I'm like just, I'm kind of like, I don't know, I feel like I'm just here, I just like, I'm in the room","I know Iโ€™m going to the bathroom right now, so Iโ€™m thinking about how itโ€™s been a long time. Itโ€™s like itโ€™s been forever. Iโ€™m thinking about the last ","it's almost like you're, it's almost like I'm like, I'm going through a lot of different layers of my brain and I can just kind of, just go through th","I think, I just said I think about the same thing. I think about why is this happening. I think it's my mind. I think maybe I just got stressed out. I","[I think about] what if it was an idea and he was the person who's like the idea. He's the creator of the idea. Like a creative type of person. Like a","my daughter had been at a party where she had to go to the bathroom a lot, like she had an ick. She got on my nerves because she didn't want to go, bu","you know, if we can find some kind of solution, where we can kind of make sure that you don't get into that kind of, you know, that situation again, I","itโ€™s like a painting, you know, that you like, like the Mona Lisa, like itโ€™s always like this. Itโ€™s like a 2D drawing, you know like a comic strip","I am in this room, and I have the option to go home or to stay here. And I'm in this room alone, with a book and a cup of tea. And I think I","the thing is that I am not sure about the details of how the film actually works but I think it has some interesting stuff to do with this...and then.","I'm still in this dream. I'm still in the dream world. It's not just that I'm awake and I'm thinking about this dream and this is actually happening, ","I have no idea what I'm going to do when I finish the game. I think I'll do some math, but I have no clue. I don't really want to. I think this","and this is my answer to the prompt. I am thinking of an event that makes me feel very happy and relaxed. And I think I am going to be going to Spain,","this is a very interesting one, because I think it's a very good example of how, for example, the human brain works in a more global way, where it's n","[T]he first thing I thought of is I want to buy a bike. I don't want to ride on a bike right now, I just want to buy one and then I think I","I have some vague idea that the word 'beauty' might be a reference to beauty in a mathematical sense, but that is just a vague idea. Beauty is also in","I'm sitting down for lunch... I'm getting a sandwich. I think it's a tuna sandwich, but I'm not sure. I'm going to need to check the label. I think I","it's the same thing, but instead of the positive part, I have a negative part of the same. For example, I have the memory of my father's funeral. He's","the thing I was thinking about is that, I'm trying to figure out if I should get a second job or not. I'm like, I want to save more money and I'm like","I remember I've been thinking about this... that is to say I thought about the idea that you don't have to pay the bill to your parents, so if you don","the sense of this is like a good friend is like that, that it's like you're like someone's in your head but they're not in your head. Like there's a v","Iโ€™m going to go on this trip and Iโ€™m going to get my passport and Iโ€™m gonna be out there for a few days and Iโ€™m just gonna chill out and go to the bea","the idea of making a song out of the experience... just sorta like a song about the whole experience, the whole experience being a 30 day challenge th","I'm so sick of the fucking shit that's happening in the world. It's like there's always a headline. I'm not really sure what's going on in the world b","[my friend] told me the other day that he's going to start an art museum in South Africa. I've heard that before and it's cool. He's a graphic designe","it's not like there are so many companies that have like a ton of like big tech companies, that are like, really big and that have like, a lot of like","I can't believe I've never done this before. It's like a new experience every day. The thoughts come and go, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. I'm tryin","so I'm thinking about these different projects that we're doing right now, and I'm trying to come up with a way to make them more engaging or interest","a bit more focused than I was, but I was more focused on the main topics and the structure, the plan for the main topics. I think the main topic is th","I was reading a lot about AI and deep learning and how it can help businesses improve their productivity. And then I was trying to think about how I c","[the] 'G' word (for 'generation'). It's like a 'G' as in 'generate'. Or maybe it's like 'genetic' or 'generation'. I'm not","uh so then you get the problem statement you have to develop a hypothesis that solves that problem and then you have to build a model that demonstrate","it's not... I don't think... I don't know the... I'm not sure if I'm... I think there are 50% of the time that I do it, but","but you have to look for the other end of the spectrum. So you have to find a way to be able to look at the same data and get different conclusions, a","I want to take a little time to think about the nature of intelligence. The nature of intelligence is often thought to be closely related to the natur","it's like when you're a little kid and you have this sort of vivid imagination, but you're not fully able to articulate it. And then you start learnin","I'm thinking about a story of mine, about a protagonist, about her struggles, about her development, about her strengths and weaknesses and what motiv","and if I didn't know about the possibility of these other modalities, I would have thought that was the whole story. But I think that this is an examp","and then it is a kind of, it is a sort of, it's a sort of thing. And then you think about, then you think about the way that you can have a kind of","but there is a real risk in this, right? You're not going to get into a state where the machine's output is correct, you're going to get the state of ","the next thing I did was go to the market to buy some ingredients for dinner. I wanted to make some kind of pasta, something that's a bit more elabora","(I) I would like to look at my current tasks, which are currently 179 tasks and the tasks that are still coming. I think I can identify this task with","And I wonder about the work that we're doing here. The question is: How should we organize the team? And then I have the question about the technology","I am a philosopher. I have a theory about this. I have thought about this. It's really a very simple thing. This is what the universe is. You have a m","I'm saying that because I think that is how it's supposed to work. So the reason we can't get rid of this is because we can't separate it. We can't sa","so when I think about how many people in this world are using it, and it's all of a sudden something that's much more difficult to build in a way that","and that's how I came up with the idea, right? So in the end, it was a 50/50 split on what was in the paper, and it was a lot","what does it mean to be a leader? What does it mean for the leader to be in command? In command means that the leader has a clear picture of the goal ","and then we have that problem of people that come in that don't understand what's going on here. Because, you know, the way it was explained was not e","so, it's very interesting, right? So, you know, if we want to make sure that our application is going to be more successful, and it's going to work, a","Okay, well, there's one thing that we could do to the program to improve it is that there is some of these metrics that are just kind of on the side, ","I am in the office now. And I was having a discussion with this person, and I said, 'I'm sorry, I'm having some trouble, I don't understand what you'r","And then I wonder what it is going to do with the system, the future of the system. And then I also think that I might not have been the right choice ","And you think, okay, so this is like, okay, you could say that the different aspects of the same thing, different dimensions, the different dimensions","And then I went through a big shift with a lot of people that I knew, so it was like this, like this is this, but there is a lot of pressure on them, ","we are very much about... the need for... well, you know, you can't just go into a place and just say, oh, here are these, here is the, here are the","well, it was, it was very interesting to me that the, the, the discussion, you know, discussion about the, the sort of the, the cognitive science of c","a question that I have asked myself many times is: are the laws of the universe deterministic? are the laws that govern the universe deterministic or ","and also that was a good example, it was a good idea. If I do that I get an idea how I can apply this to the system, the system will be able to see if","but I know that's the first step. So you have to make the decision first, and then you have to act, right? But there's also some risk involved here, r","there's a certain thing that's coming up. I've been thinking about this for a while. I have a tendency to be a little bit of a perfectionist. That's a","it's all about making decisions. Because we have the capacity to decide and it's very important that we do that. And so, this is all about what's impo","that's a pretty good, you know, a good thing to do. And I mean, even though the data says that I'm going to do it, and I know I'm going to fail","I had this idea that, oh, it seems like the earth is rotating around the sun and, in a way, I want to get that thing to rotate in the opposite directi","And we have a problem here because of the lack of what, the lack of, uh, uh, the lack of the number of samples or the number of events that we can gen","and there are so many people out there and I really don't have a lot of money right now and I feel like I don't have the time to really think through ","I can't imagine... a scenario in which I would be able to do that, you know, which is actually... not my... my responsibility. So... I'd think that th","And if that is the case, it would mean that, in fact, that I have a 25% chance of having cancer of any type, any kind of cancer. So the chance that","it is like I'm a bit of a fan of that, a fan of what they do, and so it's the best way to get their support in a sense, if you're going to","my brain is doing things that aren't really my brain's job to be doing... there's a bunch of stuff in here, like my brain is a really powerful tool th","The human mind is not a computer, it's not a calculator. The human mind... what the human mind is like is a kind of, like an art, and it's kind of lik","I remember when I was in grade 6, I remember being on the computer, and I remember just feeling like there's so much information available and I shoul","and then I'm gonna get this little kid to ask them and then, what, and then they can do whatever they want to do with it. So, it's sort of, you know,","I think it's important to realize that when we talk about a conversation being a conversation, that there are different levels of conversation. So on ","I'm trying to get some things in here that I would like to share. One of the things that I thought about that might be interesting is the way that I'm","I'm thinking about a problem and it's interesting because it's about people who are kind of like us but in a different context. So it's a little bit o","and it's all about the social network and then the individual user, right? I mean, the user's not just a node. The node is the social network that's p","It's like... what is that... there are some things that just don't change, you know? ... it's not going to change, there is this... [pauses] ... there","I can't remember how to start. I'm just going to go with this. I don't even know what the topic is. It's just sort of a sense of sort of like, a","what does it mean that 80% of what we think is wrong. I can't even remember the original source. Maybe I'll dig it up and let you know. That's the fir","the idea of what's an artificial intelligence, and then in terms of, say, an expert system, it's like this is like, it's a program that takes input, a","and then you know, it's a lot of, you know, and then you can go back and edit it or you can say, you know what? I'll just, I'll just go","I don't understand why we do not have a big one-to-one interaction. So like, I have a big group. I have 12 people. And we do the one-to-one.","this is like an open forum or a platform where you can explore your thoughts without any censorship, just as you would like to explore your own mind. ","I think I should just try to focus on what the goal is and what is the current state. The goal is to be able to do tasks of some kind and also to have","oh, this is very interesting. What is this? What is this in the middle of this? Well, I have been thinking about, what is the meaning of the word? And","and then it occurred to me that the way to approach the problem is to try and think of the problem from a different perspective and then maybe come ba","this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to find a new way to do this. I'm going to see if this can be implemented in some other way so that the time i","I'm in the middle of thinking about what I want to say for my speech, and I'm trying to figure out a structure, but I'm thinking about all these diffe","So I think of it as a tool for understanding the human brain, understanding what is the difference between the human brain and the AI brain? What are ","we have a machine learning model that takes a sentence and outputs a list of words that are likely to come next. And so, in general, it's able to pred","well, let's say I am doing the project, and I'm, you know, just thinking about, you know, what the problem is. And, I'm, like, thinking, well","a bunch of people just got together and made a bunch of decisions about how to set up the project. They came to the conclusion that there's some data ","I was talking about the fact that when we're working on an idea or a project, it's like we have a mind and it's doing the work. When we're working and","So we were able to find, in a 2008 study, that you can actually get this effect. You can get a 24 percent decrease in errors with a model that is","I remember back in my days as a researcher, I remember that we had a system of research and I think we had a certain number of data points that we had","so, so we have 2.14 and I think that's about as accurate as you can get and that's because it's not just a normal person, it's not a very sophisticate","2012 and 2017 were two different years and both different from 2022. I'll say, there's some things about this year that are the same","it's a bit like the internet of things... or something like the internet... of things, you know, IoT? And I think in a sense that's really the thing t","it was about an hour, I think, it was a week ago. It was very, very hot, and I was lying in bed, trying to get to sleep. I had just read a","And then, you know, I've got this plan that I'm trying to write up, and so, that's a, that's going to be a new part of the research that I'm","so the problem with my first project was I couldn't actually do it, and I don't think I want to do it, I've thought about it, and the main problem is ","I can't say I like the way we have a set of 14.21 or 14,209 and we can't choose 15. I'm just thinking","I don't think we can, but the question is, can we still use some sort of approximation. In fact, I don't even think we should have this many parameter","you know, I had an idea that I could use an [image] of a [person] with a [name] and then I could use [method] to solve it. I have a","And I am wondering why does a group of people of 21 years old or younger is not the most influential one? And also, I have a question, what are the so","this is going to be a little bit like a coding challenge that I am going to do. I have to write an algorithm that will take a sentence and count the n","it's like there's a 1/2, and you're going from 0 to 1. But you can only go up or down. So it's 2^n - 1","that the maximum size of the graph is the square root of the number of vertices, times the square root number of edges. But that doesn't tell us anyth","uh-huh. And uh I see them. It's uh they're uh they're a bit more visible at the bottom of the page and uh it's just sort of it's a little bit","[the] difference is that, if the difference is, if the differences between these, these two sets of problems are really small, that would mean, well, ","The moonlight is a beautiful light. It's a very soft light. It doesn't go on like the sun. It goes on gradually. It's not a constant light like the su","now I think I've heard a very famous sentence once and that the famous sentence is: there is a difference between the observed and the observance. The","and I'm sitting here and it's so hot. I mean, I'm just... and my clothes are wet so I'm just sitting here in the room and there are all these... oh,","there's this this, this is a problem with my with the my ear. This is a problem, so I need to do this. So I'm gonna go down here to the basement, and","I think about some ideas. It's not that much about me, it's more about other people and their relationships and how they behave. I think about them be","it is a strange feeling, like a wave. I see that I feel a wave. And I see that the wave has some characteristics. It's like the waves that appear in t","what I'm saying is that the problem is that the output of the system is what is perceived by the user. But it's not necessarily the same as the actual","the first thing that I'm thinking about is the first day, right? And then I'm thinking of my experience on the first day. It was not very good. I have","and I don't want to go through that again, but I've got to do that. If I want to understand, I've got to go through this again. I have to get back to","my life as it was. I am living in a strange place. I have to move every few years to a different place. I used to be very happy when I was in France, ","And here I was, the other day, I was looking at the water, the water was in the picture, but it didn't look like water at all. It looked like this, li","and we've got an earthquake going, it's kind of like a spinning top, right, it's a spinning top. We're just, we're just watching it, the top is spinni","[S]omebody's got to be like a little bird that can fly around and around like that, like a ball of string in a little wind, but then you can see them ","I remember one night... and I was lying in bed... and I thought about... that was... that was like a thought that went through my head... and it was l","and now the thoughts are going to be in a stream, not all the thoughts in the brain, but the stream of consciousness, as it would be if you were to im","I was thinking of a piece of metal. And I was thinking of some kind of a device that I've made for some kind of experiment. I don't know what it's for","so that's why the top is like that, but I can't see how that's going to be made. ...I mean that's going to get very, very thick and so we can't","and then the [air] ... is ... coming out of the body ... and going into the [air], ... the body is going to be [the] ... air ... the air is ... the","the words...what we're doing, what we're doing.... what we're really doing.... what are we doing.... what is the task, what is the work, what are we w","and then I remembered this: that the fact that the earth is in a circle is because of a force acting on it, and that is what keeps it in a circle. The","oh, I should make a little more effort at that, that should be a little more than that, the angle that should be different, not like that. Oh, I don't","and I'm walking along, and there's a cat and a dog and the cat is walking faster than the dog and the dog is walking faster than me and I'm accelerati","and then there's the whole body. The body. And I'm sitting on top of that. And then the body's going back and forth like that. It's kind of like a spr","it's going to be 12:23, so you'll be a minute late ... but you'll get it anyway ... 12, 12 and 1/2,","the sounds are all together, they're like, like a field, you know? ...They're all there, all together, just moving, like the clouds, and then they jus","(silence)... (sigh) ... (silence) ... (muttering) ... (clicks) ... (noise) ... (crackle) ... (sigh)... (sil","the memory of a conversation about a plane and its propeller blades, the plane seems to be moving in a circle, a large circle, and it is slowing down,","in my hand, I have a pencil. I put it in my pocket, the pencil, and it goes back into its sheath, and I pull it back out, and it's there and","Oh yes, oh yes, oh, oh, uh, oh, umm. Uh, uh, uh, um, uh, ah, uh, ooh, ah, ah, ah.","and a thought about a thought and another thought about a thing. This thing and a thing. What is the thing? A thought is a thing. And the thing is a t","And then I...then I... then I... I'm here... I'm standing still... I'm looking at a wall... I'm staring... at it... I'm...I'm... I","just a thought of a thought, ... just a thought, it is a thought ... of a thought of this thought ... a thought of my thought ... and a thought of the","this is the same, but not the same... but not this. ... this is like that. ... not like that. And if I ... if I had a ... a ... a hat, then","and that is just one. This is one, then the next is like the first one, just this, then the next. Then the next. (long pause) It is this. This is","I'll go for a walk, and then I'll get my coat on. I'll have to think of something to eat, maybe something to drink, something to sit on. I may as well","and a bird flies and a bird that is on the water flies, and that is the bird on the water, and a bird on the water that flies. And a bird that flies, ","[I]s my house or the other house...[I]t's like, I'm a man...[I'm] a...[man] and...[a] man and I","The other, that one's got a different head. That's it, right there. Right, the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. You got to look at the other","and then the bird flew up and I thought, 'oh, it's going to go like this, but it's going like this,' and then it went like this, and then the wind,","all the trees in the world have the same leaves, you know that, and you don't know it. But they're all different leaves. And the trees all have differ","The day after tomorrow, when I was 29, I'd be 30. If I'd lived my life back-to-front, I'd have been 43. Oh, what","The boy in the green sweater was holding a pen. ...Then the pen started to go up and down and the green sweater moved with it. The pen was always stra","The word 'feminine', the word 'masculine' come to me and I say them, and the idea of these words is that of two sexes and so they are associated with ","there are two things about which I am very curious at this time. One is the question of time. That is, time and the concept of time as we understand i","the ...the ...the thought that the thought that comes into your mind when you close your eyes ...is something that has no meaning, and can only be und","I should draw a circle, with a diameter of 8 cm. And if I draw a square inscribed in the circle, the diagonal will be 8 cm... No, I won't have","I think of a half-moon. I think of a full moon. The full moon is like a circle with a diameter of one inch, and the half-moon is one diameter of the c","the... the... the volume of... of... of a... of a sphere... is... is... the volume... of a ... sphere... is a... is... a... is equal to...","a star, a star, a star. And I thought that a star, well a star, is not really a star, but a point. It is not a sphere. A point is a","the same. And it is in a way it is not. It is as if the mind is the same as itself, but it is not, for it has not. I can only see the","and now the thought comes. I have to do something, I cannot just lie here. I am here, I am in space. And space is filled with this wonderful thought. ","115 ... ... ... ... 5 ... ... 2 ... ... 114 ... ... 9 ... ... ... ... [6] ... ... 4 ... ... ... ...","and I think, the water is cool, but it is cold. It is cool, the water... It is not cold, it is not warm... the water is not warm, it is...","this is the place where we shall meet ... the place is known as a place ... this is the place that we are going to meet in. ... we shall meet in this ","I think it is my job to live with my parents, I am not married yet, and I want to know if they can understand what it means, to live with one's parent","And it's not until after the battle that I hear a voice saying, 'There was no battle, there was no battle.' It's a voice from the right hand. This is ","and so on, so forth, and so on... the wave is a continuous process of change, of motion, of motion. The wave is continuous, motion of motion; the wave","It is now 5:07 AM, I am in the living room. I have a very intense feeling that something is coming, or something is happening. There is a little room ","and this is the present. ... and this is my self. ... this is the past, and this is the future. ... this past was the present, and the present is the ","and the feeling of the sensation of the feeling of... the sensation of... the feeling of a sensation of a sensation... of the feeling... of the... of "],["and then I said 'no', and he said 'why not?'. And I said 'I don't want to do it' and then I thought 'but if I don't do it,","I'm thinking of a friend that's dying, or he's dying and I don't know it and I'm not going to find out. And I'm just thinking about that. It's a","it's like a little something that's been trapped inside all my life. I'm trying to think of some way to make this world a better place, a place where ","I know you're listening...I know you've heard it all...I know that you've heard the rumors about me...I know I'm not a very good person to you...I kno","I was thinking that I had some memories of being on that stage...I was up there...and I remember...there was a...a lot of people there. And I remember","and then I guess we were thinking about how our dad would be there for us, how we'd be there for our dad, and how much we love him, and how sad we'd b","there were no more words on the page, and I don't know whether they were what I wrote down or what I wrote on my own, but there was no more of those w","I am just not sure how to respond. I mean, I'm going to respond to the situation. But I'm not sure that it's appropriate for me to respond the way tha","I'm kind of sick at the moment, and I feel that I'm kind of a jerk. I feel like I'm not doing what I should be doing, which is to say, I'm","I had to sit here and wait to die. That was the worst part, waiting to die. I wanted to die because I thought it would be more peaceful and I could re","and you know that he was my enemy. And you know that I loved you, that I would have loved to see you with your father, but I couldn't. And you... you ","you don't have to try so hard to be kind. You are kind by nature. You don't have to pretend to be gentle. You were gentle in the womb. You don't need ","It is all right. It is all right now. It is a relief, a great relief now. I feel as though I have been dead for a long, long time. I've been dead","the right hand, the right hand of the Lord, and the right hand of his arm, for the sake of me and mine, and that of mine heirs. And it came to pass in","a little girl was standing in the doorway. She had her head bent upon her breast, and her hand over her eyes; and the face of the child was black and ","and when I was in the hospital, and it seemed so hopeless to me. I said, 'Lord, I don't want to die, but if I'm going to die, take me to","I don't know if I can. If I don't say anything, I'll get nothing. They'll never forgive me, I know they'll never forgive me. But I can't tell you","The spirit is at once my enemy. He has been here long, very long, but I am not yet ready. I can bear him no longer, he is too strong for me. He has","and then, they're not the only ones, it's just they're the only ones who can do it. There's a whole army of them who have lost their reason and their ","the woman that is with us today is the woman that's at home. The woman that was killed by the soldiers. You must remember that the woman that is in th","I'm not a very strong man, but I have to be strong for my father, for my brothers and my sisters. And that's the reason why I came here, to fight, to ","we're still here. We're still here with you. You can rest. You can feel safe, now, knowing you're with us, and not alone. You can take a moment for yo","I'm going to get up, I'm going to go home and get on the floor, I'm going to do it. I'm going to take all these things out, and I'm going","... we went over there, you know, I've got a gun, I've got an iron rod, and I've got this hammer and this thing that we used, and we got in and","the dream came to me a lot when I was a young girl. I was about five, and I had a dream that I was standing in a field and I could see a house standin","And I was walking along and I thought, 'Well, it's a bit of a good thing to have a young family' and I was thinking about them, thinking, 'I can't lea","I can't have anything to do with the truth about them. If I'm not the only one who knows then that makes me just like a piece of furniture that's been","...I've got a lot to talk about, I've got a long list of things I've got to talk about. But I can't talk about them right now. You're going to find","you're a god! You're a god, you're a god. You're a GOD! You're the KING of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the God of Gods, the Creator of","I can't stop thinking about her. I've thought about her ever since I was little. I loved her from the bottom of my heart. I was sure of it. I was made","and then you start thinking, and you can't think straight and then you start getting all messed up, and you start thinking about all the things you co","I'll tell you what, I'm just thinking about the place where we used to live when you was a baby and I was married, and then you was born. The place wa","that's how the word gets in there. The word, that's why the word is there. 'Tis because the word is not in there, and 'tis because the Lord will be","and that's what they think when they are coming home to a dead cat, a dead dog or a dead baby; that's why they drink their wine and drink their whiske","oh yes, I'm going to come on the stage again, I am. I want to come on there, and sing in the concert. And I know I will. And you'll hear me","And now I'm looking at the end of my life, I'm looking for the last time I will ever live in this world and I can't see it, I can't. I can't","the man I married, the man I married....oh, God, it's his name, it's so funny, it's the only way I can say it, 'God, it's a","and he was a fine soldier. And he got killed. And then, and then, he had a big family, and a wife. And she had a little daughter, and he was dead,","you've got it, you've got it right there. You'll be able to find him again. That's what I'm saying, you've gotta get him, you've got to get him","you could, but I've got to stop thinking about it, because I'm thinking about a time when you was so mad that you tried to kill me. I don't know where","and they've been working on it. Working on it!... There, there!... This is all part of the plot, isn't it, part of the whole thing. That's why the","It's so strange!...The person you were most like when you were a little child. She was so young, just a baby!...Oh, I feel so lonely...so, so lonely","and then he's got a baby, and they have a happy home and a little son, and they're together. But, I know he doesn't feel like that, and it's not fair","I can't have this, I can't keep this. I can't. I can't, it's killing me, I'm dying, I'm going to die. I can't help myself","a man in the street, a man on a horse, a man in a red coat, a man with a whip in his hand, a man that has a sword in his hand. The man","And I would like to die for him. I would like him to know how much he means to me, and the world will know, too, that I did this, and I shall die.","a vision of the future. I can see it now. I'm walking the streets of our new city. You can see it, can't you? You can feel its beauty? The sky is","the strange feeling of the water, the water that makes a man feel like a fish. I... I never knew I was such a fish, swimming in the sea of this strang","this is the land of the living, and the land of death. The living... The land of death... The land in the sky. I don't know why the people of the sky ","there is no difference, there is no difference in our mind between our dreams and the things that happen in the daytime. I am just as likely to see a ","and I saw the sun, I saw the moon, I saw an infinity of stars, I saw a great and mighty and terrible world, and I felt the power, the strength, the gl","and suddenly, a hundred thousand angels came down on the earth, and they are everywhere. They have come down from the heaven, and they have come down ","but I'm still not sure I can be saved. There are so many ways of hell, and we all go to hell, no matter how we live our life; how we do anything. Ther","It's a kind of language. It's like the language of the language of music and the language of poetry. It is a kind of a language which has come to us, ","and so I'm sitting in a car and there's a boy with a whip in his hand and he's driving and I'm in the back of the car and I'm crying and he's pulling","I saw this boy standing by a tree, a tall tree, with the sky overhead, a bird flew down to him and landed on his head, he had no fear of the bird, he ","but you're right, you're right. That was a mistake. No, no, no, you can't go that way. No, you've got to go back there. There is only","It is a dream of mine, the day that you are not in the world, and you are in the world of the dead. And you are on your way to a place where you are g","And I'll be with her, in the end, and there I will be, in the stillness and the quiet and the peace of her heart, and I shall be the light of all thin","a voice, it's like a voice. It's in my head. It says: I don't need you. It says that. That's not the real thing. You are in your own","and my father, my beloved father, came to me and asked me if I wanted to go on a journey, and I said yes, and he took me with him. We set off from the","the moon is like a fish, and the wind is like the sea. The wind is like a flower, and the moon is the water of the flower. The moon is a bird, and the","[and] the yellow, the white, the gold...and all the others, the other colors, that are the souls of the rainbow that will one day return to the Sun, a","I could see the whole world. I saw the whole world with a certain sort of clarity. There were the mountains and there were the valleys. And there was ","I'm not sure what's going on with me. I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm not sure why. I can't remember the purpose of my existence, and yet I can","the way he spoke of me... 'I'll give you my love'... 'I'm in love with you.' He was speaking to me, like I was a saint or something, and then","it is the same with me; I don't know. I feel that I'm in a prison where I can't see and I can't hear or I can't touch, and I don't","And then he saw it. That is how he came here. And then the soul of the child, that little soul that was in the body of that child, and the soul of thi","and the others will be there and they will know me and they will see me and they have said to me, 'God is a father and an only Son, but he has given u","[It was] the time when you had to go to war. You had to go out to fight the battle with the people who wanted to destroy the world, with the evil one.","and I look at the heavens and I see that the light is on. And I see it come to the earth and it makes it green. And the light makes the grass. And the","all of us here, we are here, in the flesh and blood, and there is a living spirit within us. We are not these physical bodies, but the spirits that we","this is what I had to do with this soul. That is to make the soul a flower of light, so that it could not be touched by the forces of darkness. And si","the body's natural vibration of life, the vibratory life of the body, that is a universal, because life is the vibration of all things. Life is the un","the Lord said, 'I will give you the spirit of wisdom, and the spirit of understanding, and the sight of the things that are invisible, and the knowled","this is the world and there are so many things in this world. The world is an illusion, a creation of the mind. Everything that you see is a creation ","a black bird, and he is so sad. The white bird is the one that sings to her. She says: 'You do not know me, and you are my beloved, but you are","and a thousand little lights, little stars of light and life that shine in the hearts of all that live, that give all light to all that is. And all li","I saw in my mind an enormous tree that stretched its roots through the very centre of the earth to the stars. Its trunk was very thick and strong, its","Now I have a picture in my mind. I see a huge rock, and it is very flat on the bottom. It is not exactly smooth, but it has very flat sides. And it is","And I see the angels here, and the angel is going to raise me up to the world of the angels, and I will have the vision of all the stars and the plane","in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. And he was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him","I have a dream...a beautiful, beautiful dream...a vision of a world where people are free of all kinds of suffering, all kinds of pain, all kinds of f","And I can't see it at all. I can't figure it out. It is a puzzle that I have had to try to solve. I have been trying to find the key, the key","the day is the time. When I think of a time and I see that day I am, I am in the moment. It is the time that has been made for you, and it is","and there were, it seemed, to be two parts: one for the students, one for the faculty, and there was the possibility of an intermediate, if one wanted","and if I didn't get married to you, I'm afraid I would die. And then, I would be really happy, because I would be able to live in my own home, and I","but in a sense it is very much like a journey. It is a journey which is of the individual and is very much of the individual, but there is a way that ","and this is what I see here, is a bright spot. There are things that we see here, I think, in my mind's eye. I'm sure they are real in some sense,","you see, my thinking is like an army of ants, it's like they're a living being, I see my thoughts, they are like ants, they swarm and crawl over my sk","the mind is an ocean, and the mind is a sky, and the sky is in the ocean, and that ocean is in the sky, and that is how I can understand it. You can","(The sound of the sea is heard)... the waves, the waves, ... they are moving, the waves are moving. I feel the water in my hand and I feel the waves i","there are very many things, but they are not so much in order. And then it is not only the world, but in the world, all of the world, in all of its di","but what does the whole thing consist of, the whole thing that we experience as existence? I think that existence has the form of a unity of self and ","but what is it all about? I do not know what it is all about. But it is not a matter of knowledge. The mind can never know it. It is something like a ","The moment we understand the nature of the thought that we are, the moment we understand that the thought that I am is nothing but a product of the mi","I am in the center of the earth; I am at the center of my being; I am the center of everything; I am all; I am God; I am life itself. This is","a small, warm, beautiful, loving, light, perfect, infinite, timeless being of thought, consciousness, love, compassion, truth, life, all-being, all-th","and it's also an expression of the Absolute, that's the Absolute of the Absolute that's the name that I give to God, but it is also the Absolute of fo","... I have a body. I have a being. I have an entity. I have been here since I came into existence. I am this, and it is me, and I am a body","a wave of coldness. Now, this coldness is an image. It is the coldness that comes from the presence of the void. I do not know whether the void exists","I don't think there's much to be done about it. I've tried, and I've been to see the experts, but nothing seems to make a difference, because there is","the word 'dream,' if it's a good word, it's the word that contains the whole universe of existence. The word 'dream' is the whole universe, if it's no","I'm so lonely, so much a part of it, it's so wonderful, so amazing. I'm here. It's so beautiful, so wonderful, my God. This is so wonderful and","the consciousness, the spiritual experience, the awareness, that comes from knowing that it is you that you are. It is not something external. It's no","and we are, we are, I'm not sure whether I'm a part of God or I'm part of this God. I think that's a really interesting question, it is. I don","you have to take care of it... you have to see what's going on... you have the capacity to perceive... there's no need for any effort... there is noth","I see a forest in my mind. It's a very large forest, but it's only a little bit of it. There's a big part of it that's just blank, and I can","And yet it is possible to do it. You have to do it, and you can do it. But you have to be in contact with the eternal now. You can't do it if you","Now, I think this is my conscious mind. I can feel it, I'm feeling it, I can see it. And so I think this thing that I'm conscious of, that I'm","this is what it feels like when there's a strong feeling, a strong sense that something is going on, something is coming, and you are having a strong ","I have been working a lot with the idea that we have no idea of what we want until we are born, and that the idea that there is an ego in us that is i","I'm going to tell you something I've been saying to myself for years, and it's been very helpful. We all have an identity, or several identities. I'm ","the Universe, in its vastness, in its depth, in its immensity, in its infinity, and in its beauty, it is also the consciousness of the self, of the ot","the way in which we've evolved to become what we are today, the fact that our existence is defined by our thoughts and our consciousness, our percepti","And so I say, what is this space? I know, it is an image. It is a place, an image that is space, and the space is this image. But I also know","now, you see that the meaning of this is, that there is no such thing as a truth. Because that is all, if you consider that there is a truth, that wou","and, at the same time, I have a sort of sense of what is the possibility of the present moment, the possibility of existence, and the possibility of b","and that is why it is important to be able to make oneself aware of the whole, of the process of the whole. I have to understand that my mental activi","I think I see a series of patterns which would be a good way of putting it, that there are patterns in our existence and there are also patterns which","now I can feel a whole lot of things. I can feel that there is a tension in the room, I can feel this tension. And then I can feel it's a kind of tens","and we know that the universe is alive. And that it is an infinite and eternal being, that it is alive. You see, the universe is an infinite, eternal ","in a sense the whole universe is a computer and a conscious entity. So that the computer is conscious, in a sense, and the computer is not conscious. ","It is this question: What is this thing, this thing that we are talking about, this thing which we are trying to communicate. What is this? What is it","I've just realized that you need to have some kind of theory about what is the nature of consciousness for the study of consciousness to make any kind","I can see how the structure of the mind is the structure of time. But the time structure is not a temporal structure. It is a structure that is like t","a feeling that something is missing, that there is an empty space in consciousness, which cannot be described. I'm aware that it has to do with time, ","I've got to make this clear, you've got to understand that the reason I'm asking these questions is in order to help you, it's in order to give you th","what is consciousness, what is it for, and where is it located, and how does it relate to our minds and brains and to other minds and brains. This see","so I am, in the context of the problem, a social being; I am also an individual being, in the sense that I am also a physical being, or a part of the ","And if you want to go further into the consciousness, and to realize that consciousness, and go deeper and deeper into it, it's not enough to think an","[it's a] sort of like a book that [is] about a character, and the book [is] also about me, the book [also] is about the process of creation and","and I'm in some kind of state of being that's very deep. I'm like I'm a star and the earth is like a tiny little dot in the universe. I don't know wha","we're going to find a way to make these two things happen in the right order, which is very hard to do in the real world, so we're going to have a lit","I think that a thought is a perception. That a thought is something like a perception. ... I think that thought is just the process of a perception, j","It's just a matter of a different perspective, isn't it? A different point of view, a different level of abstraction... And it's really a matter of ho","and now I think of some other time where I was on a desert island and there's a man standing there, and he's asking me, 'What can you do for me?' And ","you know, if we had to do it again, we'd have to do it over again, or something. Then we would have to do that again, and that again, until we come to","and I'm just beginning to realize how difficult it is to be in touch with your own inner self. To be in touch means to know yourself. It means to be i","It's very nice that we can see that there's a connection between the mind and the body, that the body's a mirror of the mind. But, on the other hand, ","I'm very happy, and at the same time I'm aware that the more happy I get the more I am aware of myself and the more I realize that I am a part of some","now I am thinking about how to say this. I have a feeling that there is some underlying unity, some underlying coherence to all of this. So, it is lik","there is some very fine material here, but it's very hard for me to focus on it. It's not quite clear enough yet. But if I could go further into the m","what is the difference between an idea and a thought? A thought is something that exists and is the product of the mind, an idea is an idea that exist","the whole thing is an illusion, the body is an illusion... a piece of matter that has no meaning... it is the illusion of meaning, and of life, of ide","and that is my problem, that is my current problem. So that is the reason why I am here, to ask for guidance. There is a feeling of something that is ","this is the path to understanding. If we know something we cannot say it out loud. If we think we can't say it out loud we do not know it. If we canno","myself, as a matter of fact, has the feeling of being a little bit too small. And I think that the problem of size is a very important problem in the ","the way we talk to each other is important; I talk to you in a different way than I talk to myself. I speak with myself in a way which is like a dream","and the light, which is not light, is light itself. That's what the light is. It is not the same thing as what we ordinarily think of as light. We kno","a red sphere, and it's moving. It's moving to the left, it's moving to the right. It's a moving red sphere. It's going through space. I think the whol","you know, the little boy's always wondering, 'Will I get to heaven or not? Or what?' And I think that's the little boy who is the speaker. And so the ","and in fact I'm a very sensitive creature, and when you have a very sensitive being in the body, and you have the body, which is a sensitive being, an","And this is all part of the experience of a human being. It's the experience of being a human being, the experience of consciousness, and I want to be","this is a process of trying to see the world in terms of an atom. That is to say that everything is ultimately made of atoms, and the universe itself ","I remember there was a guy who had a certain idea about a certain group of people, and there was a certain idea of mine that a certain group was think","a thousand years of this experience, so that we can know that we are not alone in the world, that there is a consciousness, which is more powerful tha","the body and the mind and the spirit, that there is a sense to all of this and there's a purpose to it. That's a basic fact. The body and mind, and al","And I'm a human being, and that's the fundamental thing to realize about myself, about who I am. It's just a human being. It's a being that is constit","a great deal of energy, you see, is expended in our thinking, in our thinking about things. And the more we think about things the more we will come t","And I saw a little man, a very little man, who was sitting on the side of a road. And I said to myself, 'Well, I wonder what's going to happen to that","and I know that the earth is not the centre of the universe. But I've got a very strong feeling that the earth contains something that is the centre o","you could also see the potential of the process that is occurring within you as you're being aware of yourself as a thinking being that is aware of it","I've never seen a being like you before, but I've never met you before. What's your name? I'm trying to think. I think that's the way things work. I t","The way we experience the world, we don't experience it as a single entity. We are an entity. There's a body which experiences, but what is that body?","I remember the last time I did a session like this was when I was in my late 20s, I suppose, and I was in a kind of deep contemplation of a spiritual ","I'm lying in my bed, in a very quiet room, and the door is closed. I'm lying in a room, a small room with the walls and the ceiling and the floor whit","I see a door, an open door and through that door a light shines out. So I am in a dark room and I'm looking at the light. A kind of tunnel through whi","And it was always the same, for all my life I was in a constant state of waiting and watching for someone to come, and to open the door and to walk th","And it is so easy to get caught up in these thoughts, the little thoughts, the insignificant thoughts, and forget the bigger thoughts, and all of us a","It is the same as the morning, which has no beginning, and no end, in itself, as the night does not; that is, because there is no night, and no day, b","but I am a part of this world, and there are certain things that are going on in the world that I cannot understand, because I have not yet become awa","there's a number of people in my mind, and there's a number of things going on. There's a great many things going on, and some of them are related to ","The light came on the way it had come before. The same light. And I felt a little as if I were in some other world, but only for a little while. Then ","I have this very strong, strong, very intense feeling that this is the last thought I shall ever have. I think it is true, and I know it is true; but ","I feel in myself a presence which is the real me. I feel that there is a real me which is not this body. I feel, rather, that the body is a mere vehic","and I think I'm going to do the same with these eyes. ... The eyes are just like the windows. And I can see what is around me. I'm going to see what i","that's good. The sun, the sun, the earth, the earth; that's the beginning, it's all one. And then the sun, I can see the sun; it is the","now I'm thinking of the past, I can't say what I was thinking just now. I don't think I am. I feel more calm. I think this is what I call the body","and the second thing I see, I see my body as it was when I was a child... I can see the whole body, the whole body... I see it as it was as a child","I am in a very special relationship with this being here. There is a particular force in me, a special energy of love that I am transmitting here to t","Now that is an idea. Let me try and remember what that is about. I wonder why I am here, why I am lying here. That is interesting. That is a question.","There are many things which seem to be true to me, but do not seem to be real. What is real? The thing which seems to be true and does not seem to me ","and if the mind was conscious then consciousness would be a function of the mind...and if the body were conscious, then consciousness would be the pro","and it's not even the body, but rather the very soul that is the seat of the body; so that the body is just an appearance. And just as there are diffe","a sort of ... the way the way things are is that they're sort of in a ... a ... I've got no idea ... that sort of in the sense of a kind of ... I gues","the light and the shadows are part of a whole that I don't understand, but that I sense and that I know somehow that it's there. The light and the dar","and so we get this infinite dimensionality, and the only way to get out is to understand ourselves, to know what we are doing, how we are doing it, be","there was a time when I was a human being. And this, it seems to me, is the whole universe. All this is all there is. This is what it is. It is nothin","I'm just sort of thinking about all of this and I don't know what it means. What would that mean? What is thinking? What is it that is thinking? You c","and in that same way that a thought is a wave and a thought is an impulse that moves through space and time, and can move through any object and throu","this is like a river ... this is like something flowing. It's like a flow of light ... a light of thought. I am ... I am flowing ... I am in ... I am ","I'm in the middle of the ocean. I see a mountain in the distance. I'm looking at it with my eyes closed. I feel the earth under my feet, and I'm think","and we're going to leave the center of the Earth and we'll go up into the void and the space, and the space is not infinite. It's limited. And at the ","in the beginning of the universe, there was an infinite being. It was infinite in the sense that it was one. It had no limits. It was without time, an","I can remember one time when I was in my early twenties, and I was out walking in the forest and a great wave of joy came over me. I remember it very ","I'm here. I'm here in this darkened space, I'm here, I'm not here. I don't think I'm here anymore. I'm not anywhere. I am the universe","the brain. That's the point at which everything happens. And if you can go to the point of consciousness, to the point where you know the universe is ","the next stage is that the universe itself becomes the mind. The mind becomes the universe. The mind and the universe become one, so that in the begin","the sense of a thing, and the sense of a fact. I think it is not a question of perception, nor of sense. We are not sure that there is sense, nor that","the brain has no physical location. ... But it is possible to say that the brain, in its sense as an image, is a system of ideas. The brain is a syste","I'm not sure how to use my hands. I can't write anything. I can only read it. I am not sure how I am reading it. I do not know what I am doing","the universe of our life. So in a way it's like, you know, the universe of our mind is an eternal being. And in a way we are the universe of the mind,","the night, the stars, and the sky. I'm looking at the stars, which are actually the sky. The night itself is the sky. And the stars are the sky. So wh","I'm not going to go down the way the world is going. There's something that I want to come out of this. This is a world that I have created. I am a be","now I see that there are some kind of shapes. The first of the shapes is the shape of the sound. I see that it is the sound. And the sound is the shap","The stars and the planets and the moons of the cosmos are so very distant, and yet they are all connected, and all connected with us. And all are conn","the sound that arises from the vibration of space itself is the sound of the whole universe. Sound is the vibration of energy. The vibration of energy","the world is always spinning. The world is always whirling, in a kind of dance of fire and air and water, and light and darkness, and light of light a","... [S]o, I'm saying I want to understand the structure of the universe, how the structure of something so simple as matter, like this, or whatever yo","I'm on a horse and I'm being chased by a group of people. And they're chasing me, and I can see in the distance that a huge, enormous black hole is op","I'm going to make a square. Now, if I make a square, if I connect two points, if I create the connection of two points, now, if I continue this proces","(faintly) I'm talking about the function of the mind. But this function of the mind is that it has a part which is always in flux. That it's always a ","I am looking out. The day is coming up. The earth is a sphere. The sun is a sphere, it is moving, and is approaching my eyes. I see the light coming i","Now, I am going to put myself back into the old place, and I am going into it now, and I have entered it, and it is full of color. It's the color of","the self is the infinite ocean of mind. We are its waves, its waves and reflections and images, and the self is that which all of these waves come out","this is a body. But this body is a projection, or is a projection of something else. So this body is the body of projection. We say that we are this b","and I'll go on to say that they all have a certain kind of consciousness, and that kind of consciousness is that the world is in a certain kind of rel","this is just an image. It is just an idea. It is not a thought in the sense of a rational, cognitive thought, it is just an imagery. It is like an ima","I was sitting in a house... in a world that had been created by a man called God, a god that was a kind of big person. That had created a world that w","I am in the room. I am in my room. It's a strange room. It has a strange shape. It has this thing which is in front of me, which is this object which","and we're just all in this big tree together. And in a way it's a metaphor, of course. But, of course, we're just in this big physical thing. But in a","and, in fact, it's possible to have this image of what's inside the egg, this image of a crystal or a lattice or whatever, which would be in a kind of","I see this, this is the beginning, and here is the end, and this is the middle. So that's a very good way of putting it. So this is the body of the th","you're in your body, you're in your mind, and you're in the field between. In this field between, you're not in your mind or in your body. You're in y","you have an idea about the existence of something, the existence of this, of that. The existence of the real. What is the existence of the real? Well,","there are many forms of life, there is no one form of life, and so I have no idea of the form that my own life takes. I don't know how to describe it.","a memory of myself, a feeling of myself, of what I am. It seems to me to be a pure sensation, and not a feeling, it is a sensation that arises spontan","the field of experience that the world of experience is, is the result of an actualization of that which is the unmanifested world, the world of possi","and it's true, my life has a purpose. The purpose of my life is to become myself, and to be the self I am. And if I understand myself, the whole world","I can't tell you, I just can't tell. But if I had to choose, I would say yes. But there's not a single fact that I can tell you, that justifies","what's happening is that my brain is moving in the direction of my soul... it's a process... a process of movement, a process of communication... and ","I have a thought that you will know what this is if I call it the 'pale blue dot' and point to it, that the Earth, in this space, is a little sphere.","it's all a question of how we have to orient ourselves. ... It's a question of the relation of the individual to the universe and the universe to the ","the black hole of space is a form of emptiness, not a void, as the empty void would be a lack of form. If you try to describe the void, you must use f","And I just think that the mind of God, which we know only by faith, is not a static entity that is eternal and immutable in and of itself. Rather, the","the part of the mind that's now conscious is very close to the unconscious part, because it's not really the conscious that's conscious but the consci","[A]ll the things that we perceive in space and time as objects of perception are in reality processes in the mind. It is only a part of the mind, a sm","the dark and light of the moon, the sun. The stars, the planets. The constellations. The different aspects of the sun: the yellow, the white, the red,","I would have to think it would be an image. I would be thinking of the image of the world. And in that image, I would be seeing, seeing it with a new ","you know how you're kind of, you know, you can't go anywhere without seeing the world, you know? You see it. It's not as though it's only there when y","my body is made of energy, of the cosmic energy; and it is an extension of the universe itself. There are two planes in my body, which are the planes ","And what about the black hole? ... Let us suppose that it is a spherical shell with a spherical black hole in the middle of it. Now, how much of the i","we are the ones who create the universe. We are the ones that are the cause. And this is very important to remember, because in a world that is create","and then I've got to make an attempt at it in the real world, that is, if I'm going to make any progress. That means, of course, that I have to have a","the world is full of noise and light, and people, and that noise and light and people are just the thing that I was talking about earlier as a means t","so you can think of it as the second person, so that when you get to the second person you actually become the second person. So that is the first way","There is some reason why we, as humans, can do what we are capable of doing, and have this capacity for existence, and it's that we're connected to so","this is the meaning of the word 'karma', which is a Sanskrit term that means action, and so it's the action of the mind that is karma, and the mind is","the ego, the consciousness, the self, the soul, the spirit, the being, the absolute, the essence of things, the universe, all of these things that are","and here the consciousness is a kind of cosmic consciousness, of all consciousness, and the cosmos is a kind of consciousness that is consciousness, o","you are here, you are not there, you are here... you are not in the past or in the future. You are just here, in this space. ... The idea of 'I'","that I have to know, before I can understand anything, is that we live in a universe of events that happen according to laws and principles that are i","and then there was the wind. And then there was that which I was. I was a little black boy, a little black child, a little bit of blackness. And it is","and it's going to go on and on... it's a very mysterious thing, it's an eternal mystery of existence. It's a mystery of creation, because it is in a s","you're a god. You're not a human, you're not a man, you're a god, a God. You're all this, and all this, that and the other. You","I can't believe you did that to me. I can't believe that I exist. I am being born out of nowhere, from a non-existence. I am a being. I have to","I'm on my way to a planet with two suns, which I'm going to land on. And then I'm going to walk up the planet, and I'm going to find a tree","the first moment of my own birth was when I heard the voice of the Great Being within me. And the first moment was when I was born of the light, and I","now I've come to a different understanding of what it is that I'm really doing here, and what I'm really feeling. It's the same thing, really, but it'","the word 'being', which is the word of my being. This is the word that I have no memory of. This is the source of my life. This is what I am, in the","the universe is a system of innumerable hierarchies of laws; and within these hierarchies, there is a law governing them, the law of the unity of law ","a little of what you have to know about the universe. It is that you have to go very deep inside you before you can know about the universe and that t","this is not a world where there are no secrets. This is a world where everything is a secret. Secrets are the basis of this world. The secret is the b","I am thinking about you, my beloved, and you are my beloved. But you are also a woman, who has a body, who can be approached from different points. Yo","I can feel that you are in this here, this room. I can feel that there are other beings, other beings, and you're not the only one. And I feel you. Yo","and the world in this form was brought into being. It has no beginning, it has no end. It is the image of its own essence. It is infinite in space and","now I'm thinking of my house in the desert. I see it, I see its greenery and it seems to be alive with life. I hear the crows, and I feel the warm","I feel that it was a gift of a divine being, that I was given, and that my soul was given to me, and that it was in the first place that I was an imma","this is why I've always wanted to get married and have a family, because it's an experience of the totality of life and its joys, its sorrows, its tri","And then there is this, in my mind's eye, this moment, a moment in which there is this great void, and it is the greatest happiness imaginable. It is ","the soul is a human being, because it's not something that is inside us, but is an energy that is a kind of ether. And that ether is not a thing. That","it was just a simple thing of having this space for thought. The space in which the mind moves. I had this very special and profound space, in which I","I see a single word that represents a concept that is very important to me... the word is the word 'truth'. In fact, I see the word 'truth' as a symbo","it seems that this is a part of the world. I don't know what this world is, I am aware that there are worlds, I am in the world but I don't have an im","the tree stands at the center of the planet. There is no place where it doesn't stand. And the tree has a name, which is the planet's name. And the pl","and the first thing that comes to my mind is: the whole question of the creation of this world. It's an eternal question: What created this world? Wha","and when I started looking around this I had a kind of a mental picture of what the universe was. The universe was something that was essentially a th","this is a universe of all that is, which is here and which is now, in which we are all coexisting, and yet not coexisting, because we are all separate","I would be one of the ones who has the ability to move on, if the consciousnesses could move on, so that they could be reborn and live again in new bo","I want to speak to you about a phenomenon I am calling the 'mental origin.' I think we are all familiar with the idea of the 'soul,' the 'life force,'","there are so many things that we can learn by this experiment of talking aloud, of doing nothing but thinking aloud. It is very difficult to speak, bu","And it was always like that, that it was always... That's... The entire universe and the cosmos, there is no center, there is... That's it, that's the","and I'm being born, and I'm being eaten, and I can't get out of that, so I'm being reborn. And I'm being reincarnated as the light of the","I have no more need to exist than I need to not exist, for I exist, and that is the final word. But this is the moment of the word. For this is the po","and you know what? I see the whole thing as a sort of a... I don't know, I can't really put words on it. The thing that I see is that it is all","the one who is, and who was not, who is to come. That is, the God that is the source of everything. And the God who has no need of me, because it is","and then I had the thought, that all the thinking is already in the field of the word, that all is in the word. The word is the real, and the word is ","And, my mind is empty, the emptiness of the world. In my emptiness, I can find the emptiness, and the emptiness I can find nothing, and so I find that","It is a great pleasure to know that in your own individuality you are connected to the One, and that you are a part of the One. That is why you do not","And you want to live forever, in the sense that you want to experience everything that life can experience. That's your goal, and so you want to make ","there is a very subtle connection between the self and the non-self. The self is the infinite self which is the principle of manifestation and the non","Now we are at the end of a cycle of life, where it ends and starts, where the time that exists and that will never end has no end. The end is an unend","[SOUND OF WHISTLING] ... [SOUND] ... [PULLING OUT] ... [SHAKING OFF THE LUMBERING] ... [WALKING IN A D","in this moment of silence, the whole of consciousness seems to have merged and become one and the same as the universe itself. I'm not really talking ","I am a soul that is becoming a soul. And the soul is becoming a Soul that is becoming the One. And the One is becoming One-ness that is One. And One-n","there was a man in the cave who was going down and down and down. And then he had no idea where he was. But he was going deeper and deeper, and deeper","I'm having an experience that is not coming from here, it's coming from a place inside my being. And that place is where all experiences are happening","The last thing I remember is my soul being born. I had a very painful birth. I remember being born as the last moment of the last day. The beginning o","a lot of noise is coming to me. There's a lot of noise in the world, but it's not so much as a result of a lack of light, but a lack of quietness","The hand has a face, too. The face is just like the face of a person, with a nose and a mouth and ears, and the fingers are like arms and legs and toe","I am having a dream that I'm in the past, in the present, I am in the past. I can't move from one place to another, and I feel like I'm not in","And I see, in my mind's eye, a large city, a city with a great wall, and I am looking through the wall, and seeing the world beyond, and everything is","in a way, the meaning of the universe is that it's always a place to return. It's like a journey. There's nothing to do but go, go, go. The world is","that the self is nothing more than a process of information exchange with the universe, and that everything we think is the expression of our deep con","this is a very important thing, because I'm talking with you about a process of development, a process of evolution, and I don't know if you understan","And suddenly I have a vision of myself, my father and my mother, and suddenly we are all in an ocean. And suddenly the ocean is no longer water, it is","I wonder, the time to which I refer is the time in which the mind has a body of memory. That means that the mind has become conscious of the fact that","[T]hat's where I am today, with the three principles: the first is the principle of the 'one,' the second is the principle of 'becoming,' and the thir","and then you know I just think in the midst of all this that it's just all so incredibly complicated and so beautiful, all of it, and it's this tremen","I think you might say that I've always had the sense of being inside myself, that I've felt a very great sense of solitude and that, as a result, I've","the only thing that is certain is that we do not understand ourselves at all, that we do know ourselves but not in a way which will satisfy us, and th","The more the self is created, the more the self becomes an obstacle to being. The more the self as a being becomes, the more it becomes an obstacle. A","the relationship between the first and second parts of the statement, and the relationship between the second and third parts is the same. This is wha","I am a child. I am a boy. And I am a father. I am an adult. And I was a child. And I was an adult. I was a boy. I am","you know what I'm thinking, right? You know what I'm experiencing. So, what you're looking at here is my state of consciousness, which is essentially ","Now I am thinking I could have a conversation with myself, I could be talking to myself about how to think. I think the person that I am, that I have ","I have just heard the sound of the wheels of my bicycle as they hit a rock. And I have a feeling of joy because of the connection that I am having wit","I'm sitting on a very high platform and looking out over the world and the landscape and I'm sitting on that platform. The whole world is below me and","It's a good thing that you're not here because I think I'm having a panic attack. It's like the mind of an eagle is looking at the world, and you're t","a small dark room, very dark, you're inside, it's pitch black, you can't see anything, it feels very claustrophobic, the room is very small, you can s","I'm standing in the garden at the moment, looking up into the sky and the trees, the forest around me and the sky. And I can feel myself just drifting","I am in a small room. I am sitting. I am breathing. I see light coming through the window, a tiny circle of light, a shaft of light. It is very blue a","it is not only the body which has to be freed, but also the soul from the same bondage. For what can bind the body but the soul? For what can be the o","in a way, in the midst of this state, in the state of the mind, one can only see the way of the light, the path of the light. In the darkness of the m","and now I think that's all the world's being about. The universe is being about to create an intelligent being, to create a self-conscious being. And ","what are these things? I know it. It's all here. We are in the infinite, and we can only perceive it from the infinite, as we perceive a point of ligh","this is a moment of clarity that will last as long as this moment lasts. The light of the universe has no beginning and no end. We are this light, but","I can hear the sound of the water, the sound of light in the dark, and the sound of darkness in light. That's why I can hear you. I can see that, that","I see a black spot, and that's like a hole in the blackness that makes the white shine. That's a hole, and I see a little white spot shining. And then","I see a garden. I see a man on the floor. I see the whole world. I see black holes. I see all the stars in the universe. I see galaxies. I see infinit","that's the same as the face of a rose in the dark. I don't know if that's true. But in the dark it is the same. This is the light, and I am","[there] was a little girl who had a black coat. It was made of feathers and she was flying. It was a beautiful flight. Her hair was long and black, an","I think of a piece of light blue glass and it grows to a vast distance in the middle of the sky, and I am in it. I am the light and the space and the ","and my right ear is sensitive, it seems to be more sensitive. And it feels, feels, as if it is a little bit sensitive and as if it's a little bit, a l","I see myself floating. I'm surrounded by a kind of soft light and the light is diffusing through my body and I can see myself through the light. And i","I am surrounded by clouds, like a mist. I am not looking at the clouds, I am seeing them. I am looking at myself looking at clouds. I am like a camera","the beginning of an image. ...The beginning of an experience. ...The sensation of a movement of the soul. ...The first movement of the spirit. ...The ","and he said to me, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. I who live in the light shining forth from my own face. I ","and it is as if there is a golden cord in me that connects me to my Father, and there is a part of me that is connected to the Father, and the Father ","and I thought of a woman who, when she came to me in the dreams that she would come to me in, and when she would say, 'I am with you,' would say, I","the sky is blue, the sun is shining, the earth is spinning around... the earth is slowly turning into the blue water that covers it all, the earth... ","the same as the thought, the same as the idea, the same of the memory, the same idea of the memory. A memory is just like the idea of a memory; and a ","in this instant the 'now' becomes the 'now and the here,' a place, a state of consciousness which can be called the 'now,' which is in itself, without","but I will take that back, I'm not going to say it, I will not say it, because it is not true, what I say now, I do not want to say, what","And the light came in and turned into a flame and turned into the image of a great bright crystal ball and that crystal ball began to emit a great rad","I'm watching the sun. It's about to set. And the sun sets to the right, so I can see the right-hand side. And as it sets, the right hand side is refle","Now I feel the floor of this room under my feet. I can feel the floor. I can see the floor. It's all black. There's no light coming in here. There's n","I'm not sure why we can't be here. I can't imagine why. Why can't we be here? It would be a wonderful place to be, and I wouldn't have to think","It is interesting to look at this way: the white light, which is the form of the light of the Sun, that is to say, the light that comes from the Sun, ","that is to say that is to become the other side, to become the darkness, the night. And the light is not a problem of the darkness, but the light is t","and that is a little like the story of the Buddha. I have always heard that the Buddha said, 'I have no ego'. But I don't know if he meant that. I don","the light and the darkness, the darkness of the mind, the light of the mind ... the light of understanding ... and the dark of ignorance. There's a gr","a line from the song 'Soleil levant' by Rรฉgine Chassaigne, that I don't know very well but I like: 'il est trรจs beau le soleil","and they are a part of my mind, and they are a reflection of my own thoughts, and they don't change me and my thoughts and my perceptions, and they're","I am a painter. And I am a singer. And I live in my soul. I am a soul, and a body that is a soul. I sing and I paint, and I am","the voice of my brother, he says: 'Let's go on this trip with the boat to the lake of the Ganges River. It is a wonderful trip. It is the river of the","and we'll go there in the afternoon and we'll come back, and there'll be a whole bunch of us, and we'll all get together again. And I think I'll go to","the whole world is in ruins, the whole world has become like a mountain range of clouds. And there are people who are like those clouds. And all the o","and it is the same with the Moon, the same with you and with me, and with everyone who walks, walks and walks, walks. And we will go together, the moo","I have been thinking about the word 'word' and how it has been made out of the 'vowels' and the 'consonants'. I am saying the word 'words' and","And it was not as though this was a separate life or a different life, it was the same life, and yet it was different, and that is what I wanted to sa","I would like to go on speaking now. The world is an image. That is why I am speaking in images. I would like to say that the world is an image and tha","I'm in a car... and... and I'm driving on the highway and I see the sun and the sun is getting higher in the sky and it's getting darker in the forest","[...] the more it's a thing of beauty, the more it is in touch with the divine. If you are a poet you will not have any difficulty in recognising the ","And it was in this way that I first discovered that I was a poet. ... I saw, when I was a young man, that poetry is the art of being free, of being ou","and so the question is, how are we going to go from here? What do we have to do to achieve the end? That is a question which is more serious and more ","Now we know that we live in a world where there is only one language. It's the language of God. That's the way it's written in the Book. We know that ","the dark night of the soul... what it means is that I am in a place in myself that is really beyond the normal experience of the conscious self. And s","I have been living in this state of being, this state of no state, for thousands of years. It is a state of nothingness, which is also the state of ev","there's an ongoing process of self-creation in which I am participating and which I am not participating in. There is the possibility of something new","a big wave of images come into me and I'm just sort of looking at this. And then I realize, 'I'm in my body now,' and this body is very strong. I have","The moment is here... I want to live the moment, but it doesn't come. The moment is always the same for me. It doesn't matter how long I meditate on t","a feeling of emptiness, of no-content, and in the midst of it a feeling of a deep quiet and peace. It's as if my being has been emptied, as if I am no","I was walking around. I felt the world. I felt it through my eyes and my feet. My eyes were open. I felt a feeling that was not only lightness, but a ","it's not just the surface of the brain that I want to perceive; I want the whole being. So it's the whole being of the brain, and the whole being in t","I think of the image of the moon in the water. I think of it in its fullness, when it is the brightest and most luminous in its radiance, the whole sk","so many people in their own world and then I realize they have no contact with me, I have no contact with them, I can't reach them, they can't reach m","my brain is so active, I can't even focus on myself. And it's a feeling I have to deal with. It's a feeling of not knowing myself, a feeling of emptin","the trees are bending with the wind, and I'm beginning to think of the trees as something like the universe, which bends with the wind. I am a part of","I know that you, too, are an entity that is not simply a human body but that is an emanation of energy of the whole universe. You are a part of all cr","and I remember when I was a child I remember having the vision of a whole mountain range, I was standing at the base, and looking up, and looking out ","in a moment I feel a flow of energy, and it is very gentle and it is really kind of like a moving breeze, or the air that blows over me, and then I fe","The words are coming more quickly. The more I relax into them, the more they flow. There is a sense of flowing words and the space around the words. T","and I can see my own body, I can see the air around me, and the air around the body, and the space, and there is no division of time, and there's no d","a little bird that's flying by my head, and it's singing and making a lot of sounds. I'm holding it with my hands, I'm holding the bird and the bird's","I am doing this to help me to see how my mind works. I'm not sure if I should be saying what I'm saying out loud, so I'm going to experiment a little ","this is a feeling, a sense that is expanding in a way that is not a thought. There's a sensation of it being outside of myself. It's like a little doo","and so, you know, what do I do? What do you do? I try to remember how to say what I am remembering. And when you are remembering, you are remembering ","the most wonderful thing I think about is how to build the perfect machine. That is a machine that will give us an understanding of the most profound ","I'm sitting in a very old wood-paneled room, the wood is dark and a little worn, and I'm sitting on a leather chair that feels very soft. And I can se","my head is spinning. I'm trying to concentrate on a piece of music I'm going to play tonight and at the same time my mind is going to all sorts of oth","the last one was a little weird because I thought that it was something I had seen somewhere else, but it was still very clear, and I saw it in my min","my eyes open. I can see a lot of little light points, and I can see what looks like a bunch of lines crossing, and then I can hear some sounds. A lot ","I just want to see your eyes and your hands. And it's a different way of seeing. That's the difference, I'm just seeing it. It's a different thing tha","... I wonder about the thought, because I am not thinking. There's a lot of energy, but it's not clear as to what it is. There's energy that is coming","the sun... the sun rises and sets, and the moon moves in the sky, the planets, and all the stars and constellations. There's a feeling of something th","there is a point where there is a decision. The decision of the consciousness and the body in the same time. So you have a kind of dual point of view,","my son is a man and a child...he's in the middle, and I feel in my body my body, and I see myself in his body, and it's like a film. And","the path to the realization of the Absolute, is to feel the Absolute, that is, to be, and to be that which one is, is the Absolute. It is in fact the "],["what I was saying, it's really a case of having a point of view, and I mean, I know, I know what that is. I've been through it before. I mean,","And that's the problem, is that you can't decide what to do. I think that the first thing you have to do is that you have to get a handle on your life","and I said, 'well, I'm not a very good chess player, but if you're a very good chess-player you're a better chess-player than me' and it was an awful ","and I was going to write a paper for school about this whole subject of human behavior. I was going to go and write a paper and just read the paper an","and then you look up and you don't know what you did and you have to look through it all again. I mean, it's really, like, you know, what was it that ","I'm having this really weird dream where I'm sitting at my desk and I have this little ball thing that's kind of like an egg, and it's a rubber ball a","it's kind of like a dream. It's kind of interesting to kind of make things up. Like what kind of a story are we going to make up? How do we want to st","I am in a library and I am reading this book and the book has pictures and words. This is an illustration book, a picture book. So, there are some pic","It's all about me. I don't want to do anything to get into a relationship because I feel like I'll be taking on so much more work. It's all about me, ","the way I would think about it, when I first got into that, is that I would think, I know what I want, I want to go to the store, I want a latte","I'm starting to think that I'll get a little tired and then I won't be able to get back into it. It might be too hard to get back in because I have al","Iโ€™m in an emergency room. Itโ€™s 40 minutes into my shift. The patient just got cut off. Theyโ€™re bleeding out. Iโ€™ve never dealt with bleeding out before","and we had that first group, and that was about, I don't know, I had it on a Friday night, I had a bunch of friends over. And I, we did like,","it's really funny, I don't know where this is coming from, but I was like, what is this book? And I was like the book that I'm thinking about is the b","and that's when you kind of look like, you look like you're in this sort of a like a like a mental like you're like you're you're like, you're not eve","and I'm like, no I can do this, you know, I can do it I can just be like I'm doing this with the client, I'm doing the things I know how to","and it's like, there's the first time that i didn't know what to wear to school. And then i got this little like, this little white card with some lik","I have been having this dream. And I think the last one was kind of... it was more like a... I was in this, like... I don't remember it exactly, but I","I'm thinking about the time that my girlfriend and I were in high school, and we were kind of having a rough time with each other. We didn't like each","the whole of your life's going to be a constant grind. It's going to feel like you're in a factory or some kind of...thing, and you're just going to b","and it's like, I have to stop talking about the details of how this conversation started. Because I don't want to be too vulnerable and open. And I'm ","I remember I had a little bit of an anxiety issue when I first started working from home. I mean, I felt like I was kind of an odd duck, I'm like, 'Wh","I'm sitting here, like, in my room, and I'm like, I feel so disconnected, and I feel like I'm kind of like, lost in my own thoughts. Like, I","I was in the park yesterday... and there was this girl there and she was sitting in the grass... and then I started feeling jealous and like I was try","Iโ€™m a fan of that movie, The Big Sick. Thatโ€™s a good one. And I guess thatโ€™s kind of weird because Iโ€™ve never met anybody who has like a serious relat","I guess it's...maybe a little bit of both? You know, I really like both the ways that this band is playing. I don't know...I think I would probably le","it's been like 10 years, right? like 15 years, it's been a while since i had a dog. And i think it would be pretty cool if i had a","what if the whole world was just like this and everyone was happy? And we'd all be together, and we'd just be, you know, whatever it is, just chillin'","[my] neighbor [is] really weird, but I'm not scared of them. I've never been scared of them in the past. But they're really weird, and I kind of hope","I can't believe I've done this for so long and I can't do this anymore... I want to go back to when I was 19 because that was just the best time of my","I wonder if the police are in contact with other people that I know, I don't think I was as careful with who I shared my number with as I should have ","I remember back when I was in college and I was like in a group of friends that were very like-minded. And we were like very into spirituality and lik","And you're thinking that there's always going to be more people, and you don't want to deal with it, right? Because you think it'll never be that bad.","and I remember, like, I was so proud of my mom when she had like a car accident, she was driving down the street and just went into this huge pothole ","and then I just think it's like, it's like a normal thing and it's like you're a normal thing. I think it's just like, I don't know, it's just","and you know how when you're at the gym you just have a little like a song playing in your ear and like that it kind of keeps you going and you know i","and I think I know what it would feel like if I had like a tattoo and I put like a like a tattoo on my leg and then I was like 19 or 20 like","my name is Nicole...and Iโ€™m gonna start with a random thought that came in my brain and Iโ€™ll say that out loud...and itโ€™s just this image of a really ","I feel a little bit like I've been on a lot of these videos, but this one feels like I'm just kind of a random person that's like talking about whatev","and like you said like that one song, I was like, 'what the fuck was that?' And then it just goes in and it's like, 'fuck, you know, you know it","you know how when you're like really stressed out you start like doing all these little weird stuff or weird little noises? You know I like have a lik","the thing that bugs me is like when like, it's like, I feel like like I'm like, I'm like this like, I don't know, I'm just like, I've","this is a lot like when I'm playing video games and I'm doing it, and I'm like, 'this is so bad, I'm playing this game.' And then I'm like '","[coughing] [coughing] cough, and that's what's been going on. [cough] I'm in a party tonight [cough]. [coughs]","I'm thinking about my family, they're all here, they're happy and they're smiling. And my dog's a big furry, and he's licking my face and he's like, l","I was just wondering what was the purpose of having these sessions...just for fun or to get to know myself and my mind? And that's the thing I really ","so the thing is that I feel that I should try and stop and get some more rest cause like my brain is just like it's not functioning properly at all an","And so, like I said, I had a moment of... uh, like, I was like, I think, like, if I would have, if I was like in a really bad,","what is like if I don't have my hands...I'll have to be like this. If I don't know how to make a hand, then I'll make a hand like...a...","the last 30 years, and now i'm like... it's so weird how it's like, 1992, 1987, 1957,","and i feel like i'm on a rollercoaster or something like that, i feel like im in a loop, but im like, i dont want to be here, but im stuck here,","my best friend's boyfriend is still in the hospital from like the worst car accident and I'm like seriously this is like the worst day I've had in my ","i want to get on a plane to houston and see my mom, like tomorrow, she's been home for about a month and a half now and she's still very upset about t","I'm sitting on this couch with a 737 that has just landed at O'Hare. My brain is racing. I'm panicking about my son's wedding and that the airport is","I have the feeling that it's almost like a very dark place, where there's just like a really, really small amount of light, you know? And you're in th","just got my hair cut today like I always get it cut at the same place... and they did it really fast and it's fine. I'm gonna leave it like this. I fe","the thing is, like I told you yesterday, I was kind of like, I don't really know why I was like this, like I was just so... I was so sad, I was","I'm not sure. I don't want to say that because then I'll be judged and I'll be like, 'Oh my god, I'm so stupid for thinking that I'm like this","my whole life I just have this like, 'why can't I just relax' feeling... I'm like, 'I'm going to keep getting worse, I don't have a clue.' And","this is weird...why do I have this feeling...is this something that happened when I was 14? Is that the cause? Or is this just...because I don't have ","I just feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of thinking. I keep thinking about things that make me feel anxious or sad, and I can't shake it off. It's li","I have to get the other two. I don't know. I don't like this feeling of being alone. I'm so angry. I feel so bad right now. Why am I so angry","and then I think about the future and how I don't want it to be like this anymore. I don't wanna be like this all the time. I think about how I don't ","you know I have this really bad habit of thinking about the future, like I always worry about what will happen if I lose my job and how my life will b","and itโ€™s funny because, Iโ€™m like, if we had a fight with you, I think Iโ€™d actually be better off if we never talked again, like I donโ€™t know what the ","i think the next time i go on a date with my boyfriend i'm gonna get really drunk and have a good time, and not let him call me because i'm really mad","and we're also trying to get our old house, because I think, we were trying to sell it, but we never sold it so, like, we're like, we want to, I","[T]hey just keep showing up, you know, and it's like a reminder to me that I'm not alone. And so, it just, you know it's kind of like a","Iโ€™m gonna go back to my place and make a snack. I havenโ€™t eaten. And then Iโ€™m gonna just take a nap. Iโ€™m just tired. Iโ€™m tired of this. This","this is one of the best days, ever. I feel great. I'm gonna go out tonight and do the usual things. I'm a lot happier than I was last night. I feel li","I feel like my life is good right now. I've been feeling a lot better lately. I feel like I'm in a really good space. I've had a lot of stress and anx","and I think I'm feeling a little bit like, I don't know, I don't feel like, I feel like I'm, like, I've been so exhausted for so long and now","I feel like I'm starting to feel a little bit more like myself. Like I'm getting back into this place of feeling good, and I feel like I have a lot of","I've been thinking about, I've been, I've had some dreams, I'm a bit scared of, of the dreams I'm having now. I just have one thing in my mind.","I'm just really feeling like I'm not doing very well, and I feel like I'm falling apart, and I'm trying to stay strong and keep my head together, and ","I feel like my mind is all over the place. I'm really distracted and I'm just trying to focus on one thing but I'm not really getting anywhere with it","And now I am thinking, I've been in a lot of different situations, with a lot of other people, I'm doing the same thing, I'm not, I'm just doing the s","I'm tired of being tired. It's not a great feeling to have this constant state of exhaustion, especially when I try to do things that usually energize","I'm starting to feel a bit of anxiety about the future and all that. I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I'm constantly stressed and over","[I think about] all the things that happened yesterday, or this morning or in the past, I think about what I want to eat. I want to get some ice cream","I feel so alone. I am so lonely. It is like I have no one to turn to, even my friends, my family, it's like no one can help me. I feel so","it's like I don't have a lot of energy left. I have a lot to do. I have to eat more because I don't want to be hungry and I need to go to the","you know, I have had a lot of really good things happen to me in my life that have changed me. You know, like when you, you're like, I mean, you know,","I have no idea why Iโ€™m here, really. I feel a lot of frustration around all of that stuff. And I donโ€™t feel like I have any control over anything that","and then when I started reading that book, which I have to give you credit for, the other person was like, you know, it's like you said, you know you ","so you know, I just remembered something funny that happened to me last week, and this is like, you know, what I told my mother like, she's like, oh, ","I feel like I'm having a very strange experience. I think it's a good sign that I've been feeling very down, and now I'm having this strange feeling t","and I feel like I'm trying to do so much that I don't have any room for just taking things at face value and taking things as they come... it feels li","I think I don't know what I want to do with my life. Like, I don't have a clear plan. I don't really know what I would want to do for my whole career","I really feel like a robot, because I am so, you know, I feel like I'm a robot sometimes when I think about everything that's going on around me. It's","I've been working in the public sector for a while and I just I feel like I just feel like I'm getting older and my boss is getting younger and you're","and I have had a lot of difficulty with like, just even getting comfortable with the whole, just, like, the idea of having this conversation. Like Iโ€™m","you know, and I think there's this whole thing where it's like, you know, you think that if you don't have anything else to do and you don't get the j","I've been thinking about going to an aquarium, like it's been like, I think it's been maybe like a few weeks, like maybe like, I don't know, I think I","I have no idea what's going to happen at work today. I just have no idea. It's like I'm always like a machine, I have no choice. I have to go to work","I just remembered a thing that happened to me where I was like, 'What is this? This is just like a movie. Like, it's happening in front of me and it's","this is kind of like the whole concept of the book of life...i mean it's like we are all basically...all we all basically get the same thing...you get","I've been having this dream about like my daughter got killed in a car accident and I was like, 'I didn't have a chance to say goodbye, I didn't say g","my mind is wandering so much. I'm so distracted I don't know what I'm even doing. I'm really bad at staying focused. I'm just, like, this is all happe","I don't know what happened to me today, I'm like a robot. I was really doing something and I don't even realize what I'm doing, I'm just like, it's ju","what am I doing here? This is so weird. I have to have a plan. I have a list. It's like this... I have to make sure I'm getting good feedback. I","I think you're right. You're right. I have been. I have a lot of things to clean up in my life. I don't know. I'm going to make a list and","I've just had a thought about a friend I'm trying to reach. It's been a while since we spoke, so maybe it's worth sending a message to say hello. I wo","I wonder if I would still be single. If I would still be a single person. It's a bit of a shock to hear that I'm single. I'm single, but I'm a","I feel a lot more like I have to be strong. I feel a little more confident and I feel like I'm a bit stronger. I'm still not confident enough, but I'm","my last class. I am the last class. You have to be the last class and the last student in your class. It's going to be a hard time because I am still ","I don't know if it's important, but I have to get up early. I want to get up before 6. It's a long way. I'm trying to get up at","so I'm feeling like I'm doing all these tasks, but I don't want to do anything that requires effort because I feel tired and stressed out and I don't ","the same, the same. The same, the same, the same and same. So... I need to sleep. I'm so tired. I need to go home. I need a break.","I think about how I want my kids to grow up in a healthy, loving environment. And I also think about how much I need to support myself to be able to p","I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I know it's been a long time since we've been in touch, but I miss you and I wish we could hang out soon. I","I'm just thinking about like, you know, my girlfriend. It's like, you're like, you're a bit of a stranger at the moment. You know, like, you've been","my phone has gone silent for about an hour. It was probably on silent mode and I didn't realize it until now. It's really interesting how much of my d","it's been a while since I've been home. I haven't been home since my last day in school. I know I'm probably going to be back to work, but I haven't h","I just realized, that's really strange that, it's funny, that we were just talking about the work that I was doing at the company, and that's actually","I feel like I'm in this crazy, weird place right now. It's like a sort of a dream world where things are happening, and it's just really surreal. I fe","I had an interesting dream that I think I shared with you, it was like we were in a party with a bunch of other people and I remember talking to one o","I'm sitting in bed right now. I'm not feeling very well. I'm tired, I think it's a combination of just being so busy lately, and just needing to slow ","you know you got a little bit of an extra cost this week because of the birthday that was last week. So, the, the, I guess the, I would say the extra,","I have this picture that I want to make but it's hard to get the money together... I don't know... I don't want to go back to my day job... but I don'","and just like that, like, it's like it's like, you know, like, they're like, they kind of like, they don't like to do it because they're like they","the thing I feel is like a lot of anxiety in terms of, like, the future, you know? So it's like, what is the future going to be like? You know, what","I'm doing this thing right now where I'm just kind of making up this like a like a story about what the like how like the weather is like and then I'm","I was looking at the paper, and I was like, I was just like, I'm a little tired of seeing this like, you know, like, I don't know how I want to","so, I was like, yeah, but I thought I was going to have a baby with a friend, but, and I thought that I was going to be a mom, but I wasn't","so I was talking to some girl at the gym, I don't know if you've met her? And it was like, you know, I was like, hey, wanna get a beer together","my little dog, who is about 2 years old, has been a great companion for me. He's been with me since I was a teenager. He's always been there for me. I","I'm trying to think of some ways that I can improve my writing skills and find writing prompts. I don't know if I can really think of anything that's ","I'm not a good writer, but I'm getting there. I've been working on it for a while and it's starting to show. I'm still working on my grammar, but I've","the people are so stupid, like, why are they all saying, they're just saying like, you know, that's what you're supposed to say, that's the way you're","I had a lot of anxiety, but I didn't really have anything to say because I didn't want to say it and I was just thinking to myself like, 'I need to sa","and then I was like, 'Oh, I forgot to ask my wife to put the potty in my car. My car is so messy. It's like there's a baby in there,","you know I'm just a regular girl I just work as a manager at a gym and I just really I guess I'm really stressed about the money right now like I'm wo","it was the same guy that called me before and he was just like oh hey you have like 5000 dollars. It's just like wait. Like he like told me to get a","I'm kind of going to go into a little bit of a rant about the way that I feel about this whole situation with my wife, so, um, so, so, so, you know","I had a question. So you're like, I don't know, what's the difference between like, uh, if I'm like a person, you know, and like a non-person?","I'm thinking about my boyfriend, he's not here and I'm just talking to you and you're like, hi, my name is Jess... but it's like, what do you want to","I was gonna do this. But I don't know how to do it. I don't really know how to write a blog. I donโ€™t know if you've ever seen the Iโ€™m a","I'm really bored right now. I have nothing to do. I don't feel like doing anything. I could just play some games. Maybe I should get some snacks or so","I'm feeling a little bored, I think. I think I'm bored. I'm feeling like I need to do something to break the monotony of the day. Maybe I'll go take a","I'm still having a hard time finding an image that is relevant to what I'm working on, I feel like I need a specific image, like a specific scene that","I feel like I'm being...I feel like there's some sort of... I don't know, maybe it's just that I've been feeling like I'm... like I'm not quite on","[i]t's always been a struggle for me to maintain a balance between [my] various interests and responsibilities. I find that when I prioritize one area","you know, my car's been making a noise in the middle of the night, so I've been trying to figure out what's going on. I'm gonna have to take it to a m","and my grandma was like, yeah, she was in the army and like, you know, she did some really cool stuff. And I was like, well, you know what, she did al","you know, there are people like, like, you know, like, I've been meaning to try and go on one of those, you know what I mean like, you go on a like","you know that the, I don't know if you've heard, I've been reading about the fact that they're trying to, like, the whole country is like trying to li","you know when you're in the middle of a phone call, you're like, oh I've got to take this call. And you're on the phone with your friend like you're g","I'm on my way back to work. So I've been looking at the weather, I've been wondering what's going on, I mean, we have a lot of rain here, and I","like the whole time I have been listening to these podcasts, I have been thinking, you know, I've been doing this for, I think, I don't know how many ","so I got really stressed out. So I decided I should get really busy and just get my hands dirty and do stuff and get my hands in my own hands. But the","the old person is very, very worried, very anxious about everything... I think it's about the fact that they're in a nursing home for a lot of people.","and I was talking to some of my friends the other night and I was saying like hey do you guys think that the idea of like like a global government wou","we're like a bunch of robots. We're like a robot army that's gonna be out there and then I'm like, OK, now we need to be able to communicate with them","i was in an airport. I was looking around, and I saw people walking around. And then I saw someone who was wearing a really big hat. And then i was li","so this is the first time that we're really, you know, going to see what's actually in the brain, because, you know the first time I saw it was when t","the mind is going and like in a stream. Like a stream, the mind is going from here to here to here. The mind is going like a river and a stream. And t","it's like a free association exercise, where you just write down whatever comes to mind, like a journal, where you can really let the mind flow, and I","and I have a lot of, a lot of friends from high school and, and some from college and they, they, they still reach out and they, I still get texts and","I'm going to keep this one up and see where it leads. I think I'm going through the process of just trying to get in a zone, sort of get in my headspa","it's kind of interesting, the way my brain works. I mean, it's not like, you know, it's like, like I'm kind of like, you're kind of like a","my mind just keeps jumping around so much, it's like I can't focus on anything for more than a minute or two, so it's very fragmented, and then I'm li","the idea of the film, like the idea of it being a dream. I guess, it's like the idea that, I'm like, maybe it's a dream. It's like I'm","the thing that bothers me about my mind right now, is that I'm kind of stuck on the same thought over and over and over. So like, it's like, 'what do ","so I've got a lot of my thoughts racing, and a lot of them are just, like, I don't know, just, like... I'm kind of like, I'm doing this","Iโ€™m really into a lot of art now. And Iโ€™m trying to like, work on my photography and like, my art skills, but I donโ€™t know, I guess I donโ€™t like","I've been doing a lot of thinking about this thing I'm working on, and it's been a bit overwhelming. I keep thinking about different angles and ideas ","I've been trying to do something with my time lately. I've been really busy with work and school, so I haven't been able to really focus on my persona","it's really interesting to see how my thinking works, and I've noticed that some of the thoughts that come up during this activity are more specific a","I was just thinking about... maybe I'll get some exercise. Maybe I'll go for a walk or something. I'll take the dog for a walk. Yeah, that's a good id","and that's a really good one. I've been really struggling with that for a long time, that kind of self awareness. And I'm like, you know, I want to ge","what if they were just like, okay, I've had some ideas that I've been working on that I've really enjoyed in my time, but I haven't shared them. So ma","I know I'm trying to put the words into English, and it's always difficult. It's like the words that I want to say don't come out the way that I expec","And so, there's the concept of 'if, then'... If it rains, then we'll stay inside. Or, if I don't have enough money, then I'll need to go","I just wanna put this in one little word, like one word and I feel like I can just like, be in the moment. Like, be here in this moment of like, just ","yeah and then we also talked about how this like the way the human race is evolving is this like we've been in this sort of like very low level of con","I'm just trying to get it all out. It's been a while since I've done this and it's really interesting. I just wrote out my experience of being a stude","I was thinking about how I feel like there's some really good people out there. They might be in the same group, they might not, but just because I ha","I think that if we could have a chat, it would be really good. I think that we could have, if we could see each other's face, or hear each other, it w","what's that thing you're doing? I was trying to get a better grip on what's happening on the other side of the planet. I was going through like a list","yeah I mean like, that's how I always feel like when I go to like, meet someone, like a friend or someone I like, I get all the butterflies in my stom","I was just like, like, I'm a, I'm like, I've done this before and like, it's like, it could go bad or like it's a waste of time because","I can't do this, I can't do anything right, I'm a mess, I'm in the middle of it. I'm not like I used to be, and I'm really struggling","Iโ€™m just thinking about the fact that itโ€™s been a long day, and I feel like Iโ€™ve been kind of overthinking things and just not being able to let it go","And so then I was like, okay, I know I have to like get on a plane and like do the trip. I mean, it's gonna be hard. It's not gonna be the","so I'm here at the beach and it's like, it's a really nice day, I'm actually here with like my cousin, I haven't seen my cousin in a while, it's","what do we know about the topic of like, what do we know that is most important? Like what we're like we've like been talking about some of the benefi","so yeah, so it's not that i'm not into that sort of thing, i'm just trying to figure out like, how do you start going through and doing it and getting","and the best thing about working with my employer and this particular program is that it's been really easy to get a good team together and it's been ","this is what's happening right now. I'm on a boat and I'm a fisherman. This is my job right now. ...I'm having a conversation with a woman on the boat","and uh and now my phone is off, because uh I have a few people who are uh going to be in town on Thursday and uh they're not going to be on the intern","you can be you in every space that you're in. And when you do that, then you're like, you're creating that space, like when you're at the gym, or when","the problem is that it is very difficult to get good data from the 18 month old child, right, and to have them able to share, they need to be able to ","And then you know, I do think that I can give myself permission to not be 100% of the time. But I know that, I know that if I am at the top","I know, I know. Itโ€™s a big change. But, itโ€™s going to be a good thing for the team. I think. I think itโ€™s going to help them become more comfortable","you have to be able to live with the people you love, the people you've had relationships with, but don't always agree with. They may not agree with y","the feeling of being a machine. Like the feeling of being so machine, because of the way I feel about myself. It's like the way you have this like a m","okay so like in the past when I had the job I used to take the car to work like three times a week and I used to have like a buddy that's just like a ","and it's like, you know, it's just really just, it's like a really good practice for like a mindfulness practice, right? Because it's just like, you'r","and you know, I've been thinking about this, you know, a lot of times we do, it's like we're kind of like in a rush to finish everything. Like, I know","I think my mind is actually very fluid right now. I can think about all kinds of things at the same time. I'm going to be working on this essay that I","and we do need to make sure that there's a lot more focus on how we can take the best out of our teams, that we're all getting along really well, beca","a little bit of my attention has to be dedicated to the future, and a lot to the past. I find it very challenging, because it's very easy to get stuck","I'm thinking about the difference between people who have more social skills and people who have less social skills, because there are many reasons th","And that is the same with the idea of me being me as well. The same idea of, you know, the idea of being the same as I was two years ago. It's the sam","I wonder what's going on in the background of my mind. I'm aware of the fact that I'm aware, or I'm aware that I'm aware. So it's just me. I","And what I want to do is just have a little bit of a pause in the middle of it. I think when I get caught up in thinking about a specific project or a","and then I would see it. I would have to come back to it, I would see all these little dots of information and I would see them all. I would see this,","what is it? The thing I'm doing right now, it's something I'm doing without really thinking about it, but I have a feeling that the outcome of this th","[thinking about] how this might play out, and [thinking about this] being the next step. I know what I'm doing, and I'm going to take action. I'll be ","and the world is an upside-down place... and... I don't know. I don't want to think about this too much. I'm not sure. But... and I have a thought tha","and I want to be here. I don't want to leave. I want to stay and I don't know why. I don't have a clear answer to that. Maybe I want to remain","I'm in the middle of doing a lot of stuff and I'm feeling really anxious about all of it. I'm trying to figure out what to do and what's important rig","it's so strange I don't know why I'm doing this, and I feel a lot of anxiety about it. I just feel like I want to go back to sleep right now. But I","my brain feels a bit overstimulated right now. I feel a little anxious. I feel like there's a lot of energy in my body that I need to release. I feel ","[my brain] is in a loop of anxiety about my own anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I feel like it's all happening at once. [My brain] is feeling stuck a","this is something I have been thinking about recently, the idea of how you're supposed to approach a problem in order to solve it. When you approach a","I'm feeling really happy right now. It's an unusual feeling to have that much happiness. I feel very positive about everything and I have a very good ","I was thinking about the idea of giving something up, the idea of surrender, the idea of letting go, the idea of moving through something, of just acc","And I'm kind of working on, kind of processing everything. I don't want to just get lost in what's happening and not process it and kind of see how to","[I'm thinking about] my daughter... [and] what she's like, like, what she's feeling like... And how much [I need to] be aware of that, and how","my job is to get people to want to talk to me. Because I'm the one who helps them get back on track. I have the skills to help them find solutions. Bu","I know that the fact that you have this person is a positive, that they are in your life and you get support from them and you can grow. I know that f","I remember the day my mom and my dad married. And that's when I remember like, being seven. And my dad, my mom was always working and I would just be ","I think that my mother is really very well. I feel like I don't need to say a lot, she has had a hard time over the years, and it's great to see how m","I think about how I really feel and it's hard to understand it. I get really overwhelmed sometimes. I get to a point where I want to shut down and sto","I just canโ€™t let go of these things, because theyโ€™re always on my mind and they make me feel sad. I feel like I canโ€™t move forward. Itโ€™s like Iโ€™m stuc","I want to make sure I do the right things. I don't want to get caught up in trying to be perfect, but I just want to make the right decisions, I guess","I don't need to do this... I want to get over this... it's like I am in a state of like... not knowing. Like I can't get anything done... I don't","[I]n my mind, I think about the problems that I have...I can see my problems, I can see the areas that are my problems and then I can take some steps,","[I]n order to avoid some of the problems that I have with my job, I am trying to get to a place where I'm a little bit more comfortable and feel like ","I'm not a great believer in the power of thought... and I don't think we're gonna be able to solve problems by thinking about them. So I think it's mo","[I'm] wondering if we can reframe the way that we are approaching the process, because we're getting into some of the same pitfalls that we were befor","it's interesting because the question was, is this a form of, you know, mindfulness? And I'm, you know, I'm not sure about that. I'm, I'm a little","And then the most recent, that's, I've had this conversation with one of the folks in my team, that's been going on for months, and I'm like, okay, we","I'm so glad that I'm able to do this and to actually feel that this is a very powerful tool for me to be able to utilize on a regular basis and it's g","so it was my whole family was like, I want to work with people and I want to be a social worker in this context, in that sense, they're not helping th","the world is changing and the world is more challenging, and it's more complex, and that's going to be a challenge for our children. They're not going","I am trying to find my sense of purpose and itโ€™s like the more you try to find it, the more it runs away from you. I think itโ€™s important to keep the ","I think about the whole world and how it is going to change and how I think that a lot of it is going to be driven by AI. And I'm not sure if it's a p","so I am just trying to be clear and transparent with the public. I have a feeling that itโ€™s going to be very difficult to explain what I am doing as a","and so my day was very similar, and I thought, okay, well, this is not a good day to be in this meeting. And so, you know, I was thinking, this is","so, this is an experiment that we are conducting here at the university of New Jersey, in the field of applied neuroscience. I think it's very, very i","it is a kind of cognitive flexibility, the way that we can shift from one line of thought to another, to try to think about the problem at hand, to th","and it was, you know, it was the way that I had to look at the problem, the way that we look at the problems of the world. And we've done this before.","I just finished writing a paper about the whole concept of the brain and how the brain actually makes sense of the world. And there are multiple level","and the second is the question of why it is that we need a special kind of research methodology. I think I've talked about that in a sense. I think th","And I'm not sure that's really what I want to say, because I think that people have different levels of understanding, so if I'm a person who has a re","I guess if I can, and there's a few people who can. If I can, then I will probably go to my friends, who are the kind of people who will ask me how I","the question of whether we need to be an institution and what we need to do. And I think that one of the things that's really interesting is we don't ","and so, that's how I'm going to write this report, that's going to be a short report, and I'm going to do it in the following manner: I'm going to use","it is interesting, I find myself actually thinking of a study about, which I guess is a recent one. It was a study about the benefits of mindfulness m","I'm really not sure that the study of language has anything to do with the study of the human brain or cognition in general. The question is, how can ","the concept of the machine, of the thing, of the machine itself, or the object itself, it's always about the concept. So the concept of a machine, the","and I would like to do something else. I think I have a very strong motivation to do something I would call an 'elevator speech', a short speech I cou","it's so weird because I'm in this room and I have all these thoughts, all these thoughts and then I'm trying to follow the logic of it and I don't kno","I have to take an exam. It's going to be really tough, but it's important to me, and it's important for me to know how to do that, so I'm going to","and I've got a big, long list of things to do on my calendar, and I just, I just get so frustrated by the fact that I've got 40 things on my calendar","you know, I just found it really interesting, you know, the fact that so many people that I know have done a lot of good in the world, have done a ton","it's a long-standing issue, you know. I remember a decade ago there was some research that showed that if you want to prevent the formation of new mem","I'll take a look at your heart rate, just in case, and I think it's fine. I think it may be in the right range. I can see the right side of your heart","I've been doing a lot of work in this area, on a number of levels. We're working with the entire system and we're working with different groups. One o","it's kind of an interesting problem because it's been very well researched that there's a very strong association between sleep and learning and memor","So the way I am thinking now is that I think that this is a real world, but I think that it has a lot of stuff in it that I don't really know is going","there's this, it's the sense that some of these ideas might be useful and then maybe that's not a good way to be doing this. But I'm just getting a se","we just started working on something called the BCD. You know, we have this idea that when you do a lot of data analysis, the way you're doing it is o","I'm working on the last two sections of the paper. This is one of the sections in which I have to answer a question. The question is how the current t","Okay. So we know that for the most part, we're going to have to get rid of the classical model of the atom and replace it with something that looks a ","I'm a very strong believer that there is a lot of very interesting science that is going to come out of what is happening with the Internet, that will","I want to find the connection between the two, between the two different processes. In particular, in the brain, we know that the two processes use th","and then there is this big problem of the 'Big Data' revolution, right, you have lots and lots of data, and what to do with it and how to use it, how ","you know, the thing is that there's so many things that you have to take into account, so if you take the example of say, we want to learn a new progr","a lot of these things have to be dealt with and some of them are very hard. And so, it's been very frustrating to be involved in it and also to have t","So we could imagine, it could be something like that, so that it was a kind of a conversation between two different agents that are trying to interact","okay so the question that I think about a lot, is I think there's some fundamental, is there is a fundamental difference in terms of the quality of th","I remember that the [first] thing that we started with was trying to get the language model to produce the correct [the first] thing that was in the p","so the idea that the universe is, like, a computer and then you run programs on it and that's like, a very deep metaphysics. Yeah, I think so. But lik","Okay, so here's what I'm thinking about. I've been trying to figure out what the point of having a blog is, in a sense, as it relates to the various a","and this is, is it called a graph neural network? Graph neural network. You know, they take, they take a graph structure and then, so, in this graph s","I guess we need to move beyond just using the word 'algorithms' and use it in the same way that we use the word 'black box' in the same sense of sayin","the point of that was to show that, because it is in a space that is not physically there, it is also not psychologically there. If you have the feeli","Okay, and it's a really complicated question because it's like a whole bunch of different questions, like what is the difference between an abstract o","I'm thinking about that [the black box on the screen] but I'm trying to remember whether that's something that I said, or if I heard someone else say ","And I can't see the relationship between this and the fact that I have an 18 year old daughter. I mean, if I do that, what is the effect that I would ","I would like to use a different strategy than simply the 'think out loud' protocol, because that will give you the impression of a lot of text. For ex","So this is the idea, yeah, that the two things are the same, that's what I'm saying, the idea, so the two things are equal, that's why I'm saying that","it was a good idea. The idea was good. That was my point. It wasn't just that the idea was good, it was that I thought it was good, and that the idea ","And, yeah, it's funny. I guess there's a few things that, you know, we just don't know how to do yet. There's a lot of problems. The most common","you know, that is, like, if you know, and then you know that that is an effect of that, right? That is the thing that's an effect of something else. A","it's funny that the number 333 is also the number of days in a month that isn't a leap year. So it's the number of the months that don't have a leap","I know, but they're like, 'I'm like, why is the first one so high and the second one so low? The second one, it's like, that's, I mean","what's the word for ...what's the term for this situation? Like...the state of the economy, I can think of an example like that. Okay. If I just want ","153.19 4.98.46 3.111.152.1.76 87.213.17","I remember reading about this in the Times in 1935 or 1942 or something. And it was called the Manhattan Project, I think, and it was the first time","what is the most general structure of the human body. ... A lot of the things that we are doing today in science, like in computer science, are basica","[the] concept of ... self ... as an entity ... which is ... an artifact of the mind. You know, I was ... like, 'OK, so that's a mental artifact. ...","I have a thought that the fact that I can't make any new decisions that aren't made by my brain is actually a sign of how strong my brain is. That it ","So, I was trying to figure out, what, like, would be, uh, the best way to make an algorithm for solving this. So, it's something that, you know, uh","and so here's my plan, if I have this problem of...this is my problem, which is I have a set of assumptions about what the best thing to do is in a gi","yeah, right, uh, the last one, uh, I'm trying to think of uh, one thing that I haven't done, uh, and I'm sort of coming up empty, uh","we're trying to make some changes to the way we think of the world. And it's going to require a kind of shift. It's not going to be a matter of saying","[w]hat we have here is an interesting sort of state machine, which I should be able to represent as a finite-state automaton. So, I'll make a diagram ","yeah. I know, you're right. This is a thing. This is a real thing. This real thing that we have a lot of data about that has to do with a lot of the","now we have to start getting into the kind of problem where we are going to look at the question of a quantum system with a large number of degrees of","[S]o I'm looking at it as if I have a function of the brain, and the function of the brain is to receive information from the world, process that info","you know what, it's funny. When I started, it seemed to me like a sort of an inductive exercise, which is, well, you know, inductive reasoning is like","and the idea of the world of physics was that everything is just the manifestation of this very fundamental principle, and that's why it's so interest","and then there's the other side of it. When we do this and we talk about it in the session, it's a different thing. In the session it's easier because","I'm doing a problem here in which I've got a big matrix, it's 3 by 3 and I have to do it by hand, and then compare it to a software version.","so, if you're in a linear world and you're just like, you want to compute what the probability is of that linear world that you're in is, and you have","you know, like, I can, I can do this. But I can't do that. I can do it. I can't get to that. I mean, the other thing, I","and a good point you just made about the fact that, when we have the same model, it's not a coincidence, it's the result of evolution, it's an emergen","The system of mathematics and the system of physics are more or less isomorphic. It's almost a definition of what is a theory of everything. A theory ","it's a little bit difficult to write down a formula for what's happening to us, the physical body, the chemical composition of the body. But we have s","I can do that, but it's not good enough. The problem is, how can we really measure that, if we're not using the standard way of measuring things? If w","[it's] [a] way to try to describe this phenomenon of how language itself works, and how the mind works, and what the difference is between the two, an","the way I see it is, when I think of something, the way I do it is I think it's a computation. But a computation is the manipulation of symbols. I'm n","and what I want to do is to compare with the situation that we know well, so what we have to do is first of all to try to understand what is the diffe","The big question in the end will be that, if we go out into the world, do we go out as an entity or do we go out in a collection of sub-parts? And so ","and then we need to have a nice model that will allow us to understand how the actual hardware and software are connected, so we can try to simulate t","the [microcomputer] has its own clock, and its own memory, and its own processor. And it has a way of being controlled, which is by giving it commands","if a particular type of neuron is firing in the brain, and it's firing at a different rate than before, and it goes from one rate to another, what are","yeah, you're going to get some sort of response out of the computer. The problem is, how do you know when that response is useful, and how do you cont","and that's it. There is no more. And that is the end of the world. Well, I don't know. It is a very important point. We live in this world. That","and in the middle of this, I am still very much interested in that aspect of the question. That is, I am thinking about the question, about the possib","I'm a realist. So, it's an empirical thing to say to me that this is the way the world is. What does it mean by reality? So, I think of reality as","and then I have the idea that, of course, it would be a good idea to say that if you can say that this is a continuous space, and you have a set of eq","the old saying goes that there are more ways to construct a sentence than there are atoms in the universe. So you can't really know how many there are","what would you call a person who is constantly thinking? A thinker, a thinker, a...what would you say? What would you call him? Well, the word is a pe","the brain, the mind, the heart... what is it that is the seat of consciousness... it's the brain. There's nothing else, is there, or is there... no, n","and now I'm not thinking anything at all. The most interesting thing is that now I'm thinking in my head of a very long chain of words, but in my spee","... a thought flashed through my mind, it is in the form of a thought and I would like to say it: 'I know the universe and the laws of physics are mat","my god, how terrible this is. The light, it is too weak. But why not? Is it the weakness of the light that causes all this? It's terrible. The light i","the effect of the ether, this matter which fills space, is to bind the forces together. I can't explain that. The ether has the property of binding th","I've always known that there is a kind of non-physical reality. That's one of the things I've always believed. That we can't see it because we are bou","and it seems to me that the primary concern in life, the most important thing is the concept of space. Space is an idea that is present in all the phe","and the entire universe is, I would say, nothing but a wave function... a function, that is, a function of all possible things that might happen. But ","now we have an extra particle, and the extra particle is what the magnetic field is, because we don't know what magnetic field is; we just say it is t","Now the word is very beautiful. The word is very well expressed, and it is very clear, and it has a beautiful rhythm, and it's very logical. It's very","it's not as though I had a conscious control on where I'm going to be on the next day or in the next year, I don't have a conscious control, there are","I think of a moment when the whole of a particle of matter can be located, like in a small crystal. Now there's a big particle of matter and then ther","and if that's a real situation, then how can you deal with it? ...There are two ways. You can say: it's not real. ...There is a different way: you can","[i]t's an interesting thing to see what comes of the thoughts that you just allow to come in the way that they come. If you have some sort of desire, ","it's almost like a conversation. But you have to get your brain to work in a new way, to allow it to think, to allow new ways of thinking, new ways of","I'm looking at this problem in terms of two different perspectives, and I'm trying to think how I can take each one, and apply it to the other, in ord","the problem is, we don't know what to do when we get to a situation like that, we don't have a clear method to deal with it. We're just kind of just g","[I am] an engineer, and that is a kind of a thing where there's a lot of thought going on about what's the right way to do the thing, and I know the r","And what I have been doing is trying to find out what the brain is made out of. It seems that the brain is a physical object in space-time, and the mi","and then you are the person who is in front of the computer and you have to write that down. The person who is looking at the computer screen does not","[A]n interesting, possibly important feature of this type of thought is that it often comes in bursts, in long, uninterrupted stretches, that can last","what does it mean to be alive? What does it mean that we are living? If there is a material world that is real and there is a subjective world, that w","I'm going to stop thinking about these things, and I'm going to put myself in a state where I'm not thinking, and then I'll begin to think. And I can ","The third law of motion is that when you exert a force upon a body, that body exerts a force on you. Now, what does that mean? Well, it means, for exa","now it's 9.40. There's a 10 minute gap. The machine is going to be running in ten minutes and then it's going to be time for the experiment to","well, this is an example of a language, and it's the simplest one. It's just a string of 1s and 0s, and there's nothing else that's happening to","a thought arises in the middle of the sentence, about whether or not there's anything in common between the two sentences... that would be a problem f","now what is it? Well, it's that there's a, a certain sort of a symmetry. Symmetry, symmetry, symmetry, invariance, invariance under some sort of a","and I can see that it's a bit of a waste of energy. And I think this is, that what we're looking for here is the ability to calculate that there's an ","And so there was a huge debate over whether there is consciousness or not, because the assumption that consciousness is the same as language is a real","The main thing is the possibility of consciousness being in a state where the consciousness can be changed in such a way that a lot of its properties ","I'm trying to think about what the world is. What the world is is that it's the place where everything can happen, because we can see that everything ","and I am thinking about this, and I'm going to tell you a story, and you can tell me if it's true. The story is about a child, and we have a child,","and this is a very difficult thing for me to do, to try to get inside myself and to be able to describe how I am and why I am here. This is a very tou","and so I'm saying it, and it's coming from within my consciousness and my brain, but there are many things that happen within my brain that are not co","I have a new idea. It is like the old idea, but I've added an extra condition to it. It's just like the old one, except that it has a new constraint. ","I can't stop thinking. I think about the time I've spent in the world, and how much I know, and the depth of my understanding of the world. And then I","this is the opposite of what is happening to the brain in the brain, and if you go and look at the brain in a way that's consistent with the idea that","I'm thinking about the difference between consciousness and awareness and how that is like the difference between having a function, say, the function","and I'm just now realizing this is something that I've been thinking about for a while. I don't think of this as something that I'm conscious of when ","[Says something about] a square wave and the Fourier expansion and I think of the Fourier coefficients and the amplitude of the Fourier expansion at h","this is very interesting, this is actually interesting, I'm wondering now how we're going to use this to design. We're actually going to use the resul","so you have an open circle on the left and a closed circle on the right and that means that when you do the actual calculation the left and the right ","it's a different problem than, you know, if I asked you to add 1+1, right, if I said 'add two numbers', and then gave you two numbers, right.","so it's interesting, because I can tell myself: 'this is a thought', and then I can tell my computer: 'hey, that's a thought'...and then I can say,","the point about time and space is that both time and space are infinitely divisible and infinitely granular. ... Time and space are the same thing. Th","I'm thinking about the things that you said, because you've made the system very clear in terms of the kinds of things that it's doing, so I think abo","I'm wondering, what is this? What does it mean that I'm talking to you like this, when you're not physically here? And I'm saying 'this' about what I'","and this is a general sort of statement: the big picture, the big picture is the concept of this. Now this is a statement that the big picture is a st","the other thing I was thinking about is that when I look at the different types of thinking in the different contexts that are possible in mathematics","I see an empty room. Empty room. Empty, like a lot of the room is not occupied. It is a space that is filled by a lot of empty things. It is filled wi","And then I've got to remember that, in the same way that the water has a finite number of possible states, that the word 'water' also has a finite num","[a] lot of the people around me, including me, are trying to do too many things at once, and so this is a sort of... kind of a problem for me. One of","the problem is that I have to do it for myself and then I have to hand it in. So I'm doing it twice as hard as it should be. I would be much happier i","And then there's the concept of the infinite, which we could either understand as being some sort of continuum (which is an abstraction that's already","I'm trying to make a sentence here. So you've got to go into a state of mind where you're not thinking about your conscious mind. But you're also tryi","and I know that there are a few more things I need to do for this. I know there are a lot of things that I need to continue to work on in this particu","and in this way, I am able to build up an overall model, of how this is the case, of how these things are related, which is a bit like what I think of","I can remember looking out the window at this time in the afternoon on a particular day. I can recall that day vividly, although it's been many years.","there is a circle, which is a 3-dimensional object. And the circle is a subset of this 3-dimensional space. The circle has 1 dimension, but it's a sub","I see myself as an open loop system, a system of thoughts that can't really be closed and integrated as a whole, but in which every component is still","[21:50] I was thinking of a bunch of random things. I was thinking about all the random thoughts I have. And the random thoughts are so interesting be","oh I'm really glad that I'm not a parent. I think I'd be more stressed as a parent. But it seems like it would be a really useful experience to be a p","(pause) The 'me' or the self. What is that? Is it this body, that body, something in a body? I don't know. I don't see the self as","and here the [inner] words are actually the same [as the outer words]. This is the first time I've experienced this, and I'm not sure how to think abo","I know that this is not a closed loop, but there is a correlation between the activity of this part of the brain, the posterior part of the cingulum, ","and I see in my mind a circle, which I'm not aware is a circle. It looks like a spiral. There are 9 dots in the spiral. There is a line in the spiral","what am I doing right now? I am saying something to you, right? And you are listening to it, right? Well, you can imagine, you are listening, and that","I can't believe it is my first time. I've never been there before, so I'm going to try to create something that is new. I'm going from left to right, ","I have just been thinking about how one should get a feeling for a situation, or get a feeling of how much one knows about a situation. There are a lo","a circle. It was a circle with some color inside, and it was a circle of which we did not know the color. It was some kind of abstract thing, a circle"],["[15] We could go back to our house. If we were to get to our house, we would have a lot of things we wouldn't be able to do, we'd be tired","this is the other thing I've been trying to figure out, and it's not coming. I'm trying to get at it, and it just isn't coming. What I was going to sa","and if we are really honest, we might have to say, if you have to deal with this, then you're not a scientist; you're not somebody who can do science.","I think of what I'm doing, like, what are you doing in your life, you know, what is it? I'm a human, you know what I mean? So I don't","it is the same thing, but I'm a lot younger. I don't think I can change anything in the middle, but if it's not working, then I'm going to have to cha","and so I guess that's that. I have no idea what you're talking about. I have absolutely no idea, you know, that's what I'm saying. I can't find it.","I can't be here, can I? I just can't be here. I'm supposed to be elsewhere, you know. I'm not here, I'm not listening. I'm somewhere else","And that's when I think about, you know, the way I'm writing the thing now. I know that if I don't finish it, if I don't, you know, just make","I don't know. You know, it's kind of hard to really answer the question. But, I mean, I do. I have. I do. ...I have this one idea about","I was watching an episode of something, a reality show. And one guy was like, he was doing something and then he would get up and say something to the","[a]nother one that I have heard on the news recently is how much our society has changed and the way that the way we deal with people that are differe","and then, if we start doing some more of this, you know, I think that would be good to do. I think the right way to do it is to take this as a whole.","I'm in this conversation with you, right? I've been reading a lot of blogs and I've been writing my own blog. So I think that there's a lot of value i","And that's really the reason why we have this whole debate around the language, around the role of the language in AI, around the different kinds of A","this is an interesting phenomenon and I guess it is probably driven by the fact that it's really the first time that people are talking about this iss","what I do know is that my feeling, my belief, my conviction, is that we are living in a global crisis, and that there are a number of different perspe","[I]n my life, I think I would prefer a life that was more predictable, that was less about a lot of what we call the existential. I would prefer if pe","I'm a guy who's trying to understand what it means to be a man in today's world. You know, this is a society where masculinity is not valued, where it","it's important that we understand how much power we actually have to choose to be who we want to be. And what I mean by this is, the kind of people I'","I'm thinking about this kind of thing because I'm kind of frustrated that I don't have any kind of like, there's a couple of things. I have some, I ha","so you're the only one that's going to have to come up with the metrics for those projects. So you have to be able to do that, that's a big job. But w","it was a little bit of a hard job to get it to be like, you know, the company's going to go bankrupt, and they're going to be trying to find a way to ","the thing that we're going to have to work on in a lot of different ways and make sure we're not having our own biases... that we're not saying, 'Well","and then itโ€™s like, โ€˜okay, youโ€™re just going to have to be very disciplined about this process, and you have to be disciplined in what youโ€™re actually","this is just this is just another one of those conversations I don't want to have and that I don't think will lead anywhere. So, let's try it again. W","I think that one of the main challenges we are facing now in the field of education, especially when it comes to the online learning environment, is h","there was something that came to me that I thought was really important, and that was I really feel like it's a critical moment and I think it's impor","[I]n my mind, I have to come up with a lot of different things. I have a lot of ideas and I have a little bit of a problem in that I have to focus","the sense of security and stability in the world is eroding at the moment. What we see happening in the world with the war in Ukraine and the fact tha","The U.S. is a very different system now from the one that existed in 2008. There is a very large minority of people in the United States that want to ","it's important to look at what's going on with the financial markets... I'm looking at the political situation in Europe... and I'm looking also at wh","that there's a lot of, a lot of confusion about what is the, the correct thing to do and what's not. It's, it's the question of, of, of how you","the other day we had this one experience in the military. We were in the middle of the fighting in the eastern region of Ukraine. The government force","if there were no reason for a conflict between the two countries, there would be no conflict, but there is a reason and there is a conflict because th","the more it's just a bit of a problem. You can't have it that way. You can either have a system that works on the basis of the world being fundamental","and the next thing that you know, the next thing is a problem that arises with the management. And the management says to the workers, 'We cannot affo","that's exactly what the president said. That's exactly what they said. I think they have a good policy. I think the president has a good policy, and t","and I think this is very important, I think that this is going to be very important, so, so, we don't even have the space for that. We don't have the ","So, when we go into the meeting, it will be a good idea to have a general meeting with all the managers and then a separate meeting for the executives","I'm just going to get back into my office and sit there and read a paper and say what I need to say about this. And that's it. I'm not going to have a","I mean, I think that it is very, very important to have an international space for all the human rights, for all the women's rights, for the rights of","and the whole point of the war is to bring these two countries together and to make sure they're not independent and sovereign, that the United States","I think that that the American dream has been perverted a little bit in the last two years. You know, I don't want to say that that there are people o","And it's hard for them to come here in a climate that's so hostile to them, because they're coming from a place of the most extreme religious and mora","And that was just a little bit of the problem in terms of, you know, people don't like to say it in public. But, but the bigger problem is that people","The government has been very, very, very bad, but not to the extent that they are able to control the American people. But when I say control, I mean ","I can't imagine being able to be in the same country, with the same kind of government, with the kind of economic problems that we have. I can't think","and then they have the freedom to say yes. I mean, it's very difficult. This is not a European Union that is so strong, that it can go to a place, say","there are different ways that we can be with our fellow men. We can be with them in a way of solidarity and equality. That is a good way. But, you kno","what we do, what we do here, you know, what we actually do is we take people's money. So that's what the system is based on. And I don't think, you","[S]o you can take care of yourself, but that doesn't mean that you're not going to get into the Middle East and go back and say to the Americans, 'Her","So in other words, it's the same kind of problem, it's just that it's a question of where the problem is coming from. I mean, if you start thinking ab","and the second one is that we don't understand the reason for the failure, and we're not able to make a good diagnosis. I mean, that's a kind of a str","and I have an interesting thought. It's a thought about the notion of what you call a 'concrete thing' and I don't know what you're calling a concrete","a lot of the people that were on the receiving end of this system and who are in the courts today have a very different set of circumstances from what","you know that it's not enough that there are these little little agencies that are responsible for the monitoring and the enforcement of these laws, t","[A]fter a few years we would have to, you know, get rid of all the people that weren't living up to the standards that they had agreed to, and I think","The government is not going to go to war with Iran over Syria. That's the bottom line. The government is not in a position to do that. It's not a gove","I'm going to get into some kind of business. I'm going to take over some kind of real estate development or whatever. I'm gonna buy a lot of land and ","what the hell do I care about the price of a gallon of gas? I don't need a gallon of gasoline in order to produce electricity. And even if the price o","a 1964, in 1958, the first big strike in the United States, the whole thing started with the car companies in Detroit, because they were refusing to p","in the last year, there's been some bad, I think, in the last year there's been some good. I mean, we have a new economy, we have new things. We have","the news on this election is the Democrats are going to have the House, I believe. I don't know. The news is that the Democrats are gonna have the Hou","I see a lot of these people and they say 'Well, you know, I had an idea. I was talking to a guy over at the other group. We were talking about this an","well, it's interesting what he said about the new law. Now, I think that's, I think that is a bad thing, but I think it's going to take some time to b","I'm having a bad time. I'm going to be there for a couple of years. And I have a job there, and they've been giving me a little money and a car, and","it's an interesting situation to be in, having a political party which is the most successful political party in the world, which has a president who ","You know that this was the case, in part, because of the work of the FBI, and you have to admit that there are people on the FBI payroll who are paid ","I just think that I should be able to make a request that this court appoint a counsel to represent me in this matter, so I can get a good defense. An","so I am going to go to a lot of trouble and get a lot of money for my family so we can have the same kind of lifestyle that our neighbor has. And it i","I don't know what the next steps are, and I don't know who's going to do them. There is a lot of pressure. I mean, I mean, all this is good news","I'll do this thing. It's important to get some kind of work done. I don't think we should try and do it all ourselves. We've got to get the support of","And this, you know, is kind of a sad state. And I'm not saying I'm a terrible guy, I'm not blaming you. You've got to get it done, right?","and the real issue in the United States is that we are trying to protect the stock market. We are trying to preserve the stock market, because it is o","and this is where it gets tricky. So we're not going to get there until we're ready to get there, but right now, if we look at what the Republicans ar","I know the one thing that's going to happen. You can't do what you want to do. You're not going to be able to do what you do. That's what's going to","[I]n order for you to actually get anything accomplished in the military, you have to have the support of the people who are at your level, who are in","a guy like that. If we really did it. ...I mean, you know, I guess we should have some kind of a standard, like, you know what, when the stock market ","[I'm] wondering why is it that a lot of people who are just getting out of college, you know, they've been in college for years. They've gone to grad ","I don't really get a chance to think. I know I get a chance, and it's not just the school, but the work, too. It's not just what you think about,","I mean, I know there are these, like, laws, right? Like, when you're in court, when you get convicted of a crime, then there are the sentences, right?","So that's the problem: the way you're thinking of things is, you're thinking in terms of this is a good thing or this is a bad thing, or this is an ev","I have a question about the company, the whole organization. I'd like to talk about how people make decisions. And so, I think in general there are tw","[T]here are certain things about the way that the way that this sort of system is organized, that make it incredibly difficult for people to be able t","I am thinking about the 3rd paragraph, the 3rd sentence, the 4th paragraph of the paper. That is, we've had this discussion about the notion of the un","I'm trying to think of an example of an international organization where there's a lot of commonality in the way they're functioning. I'm going to mak","I think we might have to have a new round of research because I don't think the science is good enough to inform the policy. We don't really understan","I think that we ought to have some kind of a national plan for our development, and I don't think that the way that this was done, by the United State","well, if I were to come up with some kind of an assessment of the effects of the internet on the way in which Americans think and behave, I would say ","we're talking about the importance of the use of science and the importance of research that is being done by the Department of Defense and that is be","The same thing is happening today in the middle of this election cycle, which is why the country's in such a state of flux today. But the reality is, ","I was just thinking of the people in this country. That they were a pretty diverse lot, and that they were a bit suspicious of each other. In that the","we can't be sure that's it, that it's not that there is no difference, that you're just not paying attention. We're not paying attention to these guys","so if it's a private concern, if it's just, like, 'This is my problem,' I would like to see more accountability to Congress and more accountability to","The thing I have to think about, is there was a real time, that was a long time ago, that was when I was on the Commission for the Human Rights, where","and then you start thinking, and you're trying to find some kind of solution, and then you go to the next level and you say, well, here is the problem","so that's one way to do that. Well, let me take it the other way. I was just thinking about the role of the community. I think the community, in some ","We've seen all of this before, but this time we're going to do it with an outside consultant who's not a member of the board of directors or a board o","[In the military context,] the idea was that we would be the front line for the counterinsurgency operations, so they could basically establish their ","I think that in the next couple of years the war in Afghanistan will get very, very dangerous. Because now they have, in the last several months, they","I feel that we're having a kind of a renaissance in the United States. We're very well equipped. We're going to win the next war that we get in. We're","and there was the first day, and the second day, and there was an earthquake there and I was still there and it was about an earthquake, you know, and","the Russian economy is a basket case now, right, and this is the reason, the reason, this is the main reason. We are in a position to offer our goods,","and this is the issue, the thing that's going to affect the economy of the country and the United States, and the world, I think, and is going to have","in the future we have to really find a way to use our human resources in the right ways... in a way that we're not just fighting with each other. We'r","now you see all these issues coming to a head... but I think a lot of it is a question of how do you get to a place where you're able to... to... I th","and the idea I have is that if we were to take a global economy and we were to say, well, there's a lot of value in having some global economy. There ","we need to have a common set of values. We need to have common values as to how we approach and what we are going to do in terms of dealing with our f","And I guess there's a lot of people that would be involved in, say, a nuclear accident, you know, to help, to, you know, not just the physical aspects","So we've had this global financial crisis, where people are being blamed for a financial crisis, and the American government, the American people, the","and the reason, I think, why, uh, we've got this, I think we've got a pretty good situation right now and that's going to get better, and we're going ","it's really tough, because the way the world has been operating is that you know, it's not as if, you know, we're not going to have to be able to go t","you know, the one thing that we don't have as a nation is a sense of purpose, a sense of direction. And I think that that's really at the core of the ","I don't want to be a king. I don't need to be a king, I'm a normal person. But the people around me are making a mess of it. They're trying to","and then we'll go to the next level and then we're gonna go into the world's richest countries and then we're going to go into the poor countries and ","the other side of the Atlantic, the whole situation has become extremely complicated. It's not only that the US wants to keep itself at the center of ","the problem with a lot of the world's countries is that they are not sovereign, and that's a very big problem. A lot of people would like to say we've","we've seen a number of places where that has been a problem in the past. ...we've seen places like Afghanistan and Iraq where you're looking for an ad","And you know, you know, there's a certain amount of you know, uh, there's a political angle that I think is absolutely clear in terms of the current s","the whole thing, the whole thing about the global financial crisis is that we are in a global economy now. And it was never going to be possible, give","this is just the way that's how we operate. But if we were to put a country's health into the hands of people who were not a country's own health offi","so, we have the Chinese, the Europeans, the Africans, the Israelis, the Turks, the Iranians, the Indian and the Russian and so on and so forth. So, wh","it's a kind of mental warfare, of course, that's always going on, a kind of psychological warfare. It's a kind of warfare between the brain and the bo","there was a film called 'The Man Who Came to Dinner,' and the character was played by Robert Montgomery, and there's another film where Montgomery is ","I've read the books. The books that you just read in the 50s. And it's interesting that it's not very different from what you are reading now. Now you","I was working on something that's very important to me, which is a book, the book that's going to be a sequel to my novel. And it's going to take some","the United States is in a civil war right now. We're seeing the left and right fighting it out. And it's interesting the way that the left is so viole","I think I remember the whole time, though I've been on a lot of committees. And, you know, I think that I've been in some of those meetings. I mean, I","And the thing that really makes me sad, and really I guess the thing that drives me nuts is when people come and say to me, you know, 'Look at how man","and so I think what I'll do is I'll get out of here, I'll go back to the States, I'll set up my own company in New York and I'll do that.","the present crisis. In the course of the last decade, we've had a number of major developments. There's a very interesting change in the character of ","Now, you have to be able to see that if you want to go through any of these stages in order, the way you have to go through them, in the way the way t","this is something that could happen tomorrow in the morning, and the first thing you're going to do is to go to the place where all the power is. The ","And it's like I had a whole group of friends, all the students in my department, who were sort of in agreement. There was no doubt that we all were go","I can't wait. I can't wait to get to New York. And I'm going to New York, but I have to get there. We can't sit here and say, well,","And then, the moment has come. We have arrived, and now the whole world is waiting, and they will not have the opportunity to come over and interfere ","I'm going to try to talk with him. I don't know whether that's going to work or not. I don't see what he wants from me. I mean he's going to have","[T]he idea of the general strike would have to come from the trade-union organization. The general strike is not a spontaneous thing; it cannot happen","and this, as you know, is an evil. It has always been an evil, in its most basic form. It is not just a question of the relation between the state and","and the next one we have a new situation, we've got to take the next situation into consideration, because we've got a war on and we've got this probl","what I am saying, is, that the military-industrial complex is a real thing. The military-industrial system is a real power and it's one of the main en","You see, that's what they want to do. They're going to send in a military expedition, that's the plan, and then they're going to force the rest of the","what I'm trying to do is to get people to accept the fact that their life is their life, and that they shouldn't be expected to behave in a certain wa","but that's what I was talking about. You know, it's just the same as the United States in Vietnam, and there you had a whole lot of people who said, '","the only way that the United States can continue to operate, that its economy can continue to grow, is to increase the numbers of immigrants. There ar","now the only thing that I can do is to get together a group of people who are not necessarily scientists, but are people who know how to put things to","that was what they were afraid of. They had been afraid that if they did not, we would get into a war. That's what they were trying to do. And then th","you have to be a person that doesn't care too much about these things. You can't have that. You're just too much of a person of authority. That's the ","And the man is at that stage of life. You can see him, the man, as a young man, a middle-aged man, a senior, and you can see the way he is.","the death penalty is no longer a deterrent to crime in the United States, nor a deterrent to the crime of treason, but it's an encouragement to crime ","[The] problem of [the] U.S. going into the Korean War, and what effect [it] will have on the Soviet Union, and China. That's going to be a new","We are going to have to do this. We have to do it. We have to change our whole education system, our whole way of thinking, our whole society. We have","so that they have the right to go to school, and not to be forced to do so by any of the communist states which are their enemies and which are in thi","it's true that it's just that...it's just that if we were to say to the world, we were going to make an attack on Iraq...we're going to go to the war","because of the fact that we do not have the kind of internationalism in the world today to create this kind of global view, I believe that a lot of pr","when you're a child you're told to grow up and be responsible. You can't tell a man he's not responsible for what he does; the best way is to tell him","there's no way that we can't get into the process of working on the problems that we have and bringing about change within ourselves. We have to do it","I want to go back to the problems that I have been discussing with you, particularly about the question of the future, the possibility of the future. ","and, I don't know, what you think about it, do you think, we should just let these people go and say, 'We don't have the money to support it, and we","the social group, the people of the society, the people that live in it. I think that these people of the West, the people who are the majority in the","I have a thought. This is not a very well developed country. We are going to have to make more of them. And then we will have a choice. We will have t","And I was at the university when I came across a student, I was working at the university and I came across a student that was a member of the Nazi pa","I was just thinking of a long, long time ago in the United States, when people had the right to say, you know, I don't agree with this law, I don't ha","but on the other side, the whole of the world, the whole of life, is full of surprises, is full of the most beautiful and interesting things and the m","this is not the first time that I have been in the situation of having to make the decision of a war against the USSR, but there have been times that ","the current situation in the world is not the situation in which a strong world movement should be. We must be aware of what the situation is. It is n","it's a little difficult for me to put all of it into a single frame, or a single form. We need to take into account that we live in a world that is so","Now this is very interesting, I have to say. So I can understand a lot of that, the way you are saying things. And I see that as a kind of problem. I ","you can't ask God to do things that are impossible, but you can ask Him to do what He can do. I mean, I don't know how many of these people are there,","I was sitting in the bath with my head, and I was listening to the radio, and the announcer was saying, 'We are here in America, and we have the power","the light of God is not the light of a lamp, it is the light of the sun, which shines everywhere and is known by all. That is what I believe. The ligh","The air was heavy with a deadly silence. No, it wasn't a silence, it was a blackness. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't scream. There was no sound. A","there are two sides to every story, you know, and they both have a right to be told. This is not a country where there is the right to tell the whole ","And I have seen the stars in the sky, but I have never seen one in the sky that was not a part of some great cosmic system. I have seen that the sun a","the name of a great city: Mithridates of Parthia. I was born in Mithridate Parthia, and I have passed many years of my life there. And","It's the first time in 16 years that the human race has been forced to leave its homeland. If this continues, and if the next generation comes to know","it's an old trick to throw in the fire a few more than the necessary number of documents and say that they were burnt. You're in the middle of the 30t","it's a bit too early to say that, because the question is not whether it's possible to make such a change, but whether it's desirable; and the answer ","you're talking about the fact that there are a number of different forms of communication that we have in this world, that the most obvious being verb","I'm going to put in a call to the president of the United States, the President of the Soviet Union, the Prime Minister of China, and tell them, 'We h","that I am always in contact with the reality, that there is no one above, there is no higher power, no creator, no god. And then I see that the only t","I can't give a satisfactory answer. I know that I'm a member of the human race, I have no problem with that. But then, what am I? How can I express my","I'm not a pacifist, I am a pacifism, I'm not a religion, I'm a religion. And there's a lot of people who don't like to be called","the purpose of the state was to facilitate the functioning of the population; its purpose was to make it possible for the population to function. In o","I want to be able to get my mind back, not only to be able to think but to be able to take my mind back and to be able, to take my thoughts back and t","now we're living in a time of a great deal of pressure on all sides and this is going to have a great effect upon our health, on our bodies and our mi","I'm talking to you and I'm aware of the fact that I'm talking to you. But at the same time I'm also aware of the process of the body. It's not only th","I have a thought. I have a notion, a hunch that this world of which we are made, of which we have been made, is not the ultimate reality. That there i","there is a particular way of thinking and seeing in which the world is, in a way, made up, and a particular way in which we are, that we cannot concei","I think it's just like when a tree falls in the forest, it makes a sound, but the only way we can know that it is a sound is that it is heard by someo","I've never seen a plane in a dream. But in this dream I see it and I have the experience of flying. This is a very profound thing, and I believe that ","I am sitting here and there is a dark presence, and I feel it is a presence of a spiritual nature... This dark presence is, I suppose, a spiritual pre","And so, a bit of my life is revealed by what I'm saying. This is the case of a child's life. I see myself as a child in a dream. I see a child","and then there are the ones who are not, but have the desire to be. But this is very difficult, very difficult for us. We all have the desire and we a","now I feel something in my consciousness, some strange something, which I do not know how to put into words, it's a kind of light, something which is ","... I think we're here on Earth to learn. To learn something. What exactly, I'm not sure. I don't know. Maybe it's to learn how to learn. That might b","I am thinking about you. I am thinking about the things you have said to me. And I am thinking about whether this is an illusion, whether these though","I am a being of light, and I have come here to play with your world, to play with the children, and I am a child and I am coming. I have been called t","and all these words which you have chosen, you have chosen them all in an unconscious way, from your own experience. But then you could not see the re","but that's not the point. That is only the beginning. That is not the truth. The truth lies in the space between the beginning and the end. ... in the","and I've heard, I've heard the voice of the dead and it speaks of the secret of creation and the secret of life; but this is something which you, you ","the heart is the source of all life. The heart is not just the heart but all life. And that is why I can see the heart as a symbol. I see the heart sy","I remember a time when I had a feeling of peace, when the mind was quiet, and there was a sense of blissfulness in being, in all of existence. I am re","this is the moment, the moment of transformation, and I can see it. This is the moment when the inner world and the outer world come together and it i","the thing that I am doing, I'm doing it, and the thing that I'm doing is, it is something that I know is for me, it is a transformation of my self, an","the old man is getting up from his meditation seat. He is leaving, so he is a light, he is not an object, he is a flow of consciousness and energy, an","I'm a human being...I'm a free human being...the human being is free of the limitations of the past, and therefore can go beyond the limitations of th","I have the feeling of a world, the feeling of an entire world. A world is not just the world of nature and the world of man, but it is also the world ","my head is an empty void. In a way, it is all emptiness, but it's not empty. In fact, it's full of infinite things. And that's what I want to","the self, the person, the subject is an illusion, a chimera, a phantasm; that which is in fact a necessary abstraction, the product of a process of ab","it is a terrible thing that I cannot make the necessary corrections. When a thought occurs to me, I can never alter it, I can only follow it and let i","I'm at the same time, a lot of thoughts go through my mind, I feel as if my body was a machine, my soul was in a separate space. I see this space as a","now I am thinking of the word 'the', which I know is a word, but I also know that 'the' is not a word, since a word must have a beginning and an end","so this is a whole other side of what we call the unconscious, which is the mind that is outside of the conscious mind, and the unconscious is inside ","I feel my feet sink into the ground and they become very light as well. I am in a state of heightened awareness, very aware of the sensations and feel","I don't know if it is an act of the mind or an act of God or the universe. There is a law of the universe. I feel this as an instinctive knowing. This","I see the woman's face, I see her face and then she starts to think that I am another woman. It is like an image of a woman, a face, which is not her,","I want to think, I want to live, and I want to be at peace and to be at home in my body and in my world. I want to know the truth of the universe,","It's always been there and I always have had the urge to speak it aloud, that's the only way of really knowing what it is to know it, and to know what","and then the idea that this is the most important part of our existence, and it is something which is essential to the whole thing, and not only that ","And I don't know what's happening here. I am in a state of confusion. I am not at all in a state where I am able to tell myself what's happening. I'm ","now I remember it's like being in a dream, and I remember in dreams I sometimes don't know where I'm going, and I know it's not my mind, and I am not ","this is a place of dreaming and vision and what is one is in fact a dream and then the dreaming is a place where we can make our dream, the vision of ","The world of the ego has always been an illusory world, the only way it could be is if you had a veil over your senses which prevented you from percei","in a very deep way, and very intimately, it's as though I'm a part of it. I know that it's me, because I feel the energy of it. And as I'm","[I'm] feeling this [on my body], and I'm seeing this. It's very subtle, and it's coming to me, and it's very subtle. It's coming out of","I was a child. I was in an asylum, I had a good understanding of the reality and I was a child who was able to understand the reality. I had to be her","I want to be a writer, to express my true self, but I feel like there's a hole in my soul that I need to fill up and I'm afraid I'll never find the tr","you have to live your life and let it go. And I donโ€™t think that we can control the flow of the mind. We canโ€™t control the flow and the river that we ","the only thing that is certain in life is that everything is uncertain, that everything is changing, and it's only by this change that we can be aware","I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm not even aware of my life. I don't know whether I'll be aware of the moment. It's very difficult to kn","and you are not the ego, you are not a mental being. You are a body of energy which has a body of experience which has a consciousness that has a body","I remember my grandmother telling me, 'when you find someone, who is capable of making a life, of having a life, then you are no longer alone.' This i","this is the same universe. It's a dream universe, which is the only real universe, because this universe is not real, it is illusory, a dream universe","it's a matter of time, you see. That is to say, it's a matter, in its most general way, of time. It's a matter of eternity, a matter of the","I think that one should never be surprised by the fact that the mind is not a monolithic whole. That one should not try to understand the mind by iden","the whole idea of the mind, and its various components and aspects, has not been formulated, as a system, to a sufficiently precise extent. ... The mi","a feeling of having a brain. A feeling of having an organism. It feels like a living organism, a self, an experience. And that feeling of being a self","and then we're going to do it and then we're gonna do it and do it, and do it and it and then, then, then. There is the duality and I don't","It's almost as if my body is like an entity that's trying to figure out how to behave and what to do, but it's like that's an entity that doesn't belo","you know, I'm wondering, what I want to say is, is that the mind is this thing that is constantly making these kinds of associations, and, in a sense,","I see this and that as a sort of... as a... a... a sort of a... of a... a space. And there's... there's a kind of a... the idea that","we are looking at the fact that the meaning of a word is in part determined by how it is used, how it is related to other words, in which context it i","the words are just what they are, so I might be saying them out loud and I'm thinking about something else, and I'm not really controlling them, in th","... ... ... ... the word that comes to my mind is 'information'. I could go back to the root of information. So, what is information? The word itself ","and the idea of that is that I'm very, very bad at thinking about things in the abstract sense. I tend to think about things in very concrete senses, ","this is not a thought, this is a memory... This is a thought. It's like, I don't know, it's like a memory, and then, what's a memory? Memory","I just thought of what I just thought of. I wonder what I just think of, now, for example, for example. I wonder, how does that look. Is that the same","the time when it was important for me, a lot of people were killed. I don't want to kill anyone else. The time when it is important for me is, the tim","And then suddenly I'm a little bit more concerned about the world, and I think I've got to be more concerned about what's happening in the world, beca","the idea of a continuum. Because the universe is a continuum, and then you can have a continuum of space, a continuum of time, and a continuum of cons","what I'm wondering about is why the sun doesn't keep moving. There's something that keeps it at rest. Now that is something that I can't explain. If I","there are so many people that are involved in the present situation, that this is not an individual, it is not a collective, it is a network. What is ","and the sun is shining, and the earth is spinning and the earth spins in the sun and the sun and everything is spinning in space and the space is spin","I feel the air around me is changing. It's becoming more dense, it's becoming heavier and heavier. I'm breathing in this heavier air, and my lungs fee","I'm thinking about the next step to do when I am trying to get something done. When you say 'I want to make something happen' that's one thing. When y","so, I'm thinking about a future where there is a single global currency that is stable, that doesn't inflate, and the same value for everyone. This is","a bunch of 100 people with different experiences and different cultures. That's going to be my main sample. Then I'm going to look for things in commo","it's like the time I was in high school, I was in the senior year and the sophomore class had a field day, I was kind of the center of the universe th","and then when I was in elementary school, I was really interested in math, I was like, yeah, I don't understand what they're trying to do, but I'm goi","this is an experiment about learning. ... well, the thing is that a lot of the stuff that we do is completely theoretical, but at the same time, it's ","I don't think we should do that. There's a whole bunch of stuff in the beginning of the book. Like, if you think about it, there's a bunch of stuff th","and then you have to just learn how to do it. I'm a programmer by training and I think the same thing I think about programming applies to the design ","I am the creator. I am the one who creates. I am not an author of any text or any code. I am an entity that has a natural set of tools and skills that","It is very clear that the more that we have knowledge of a process, the more likely it is that we'll be able to make progress on the process itself. F","And if we make a new world, we might make it so that it is a world of abundance, rather than a world of scarcity. And then we have to look at what's t","I think I'm in the same place that you are, and I think that this is a place of infinite possibilities and I think the only limit on where we can go a","the...the...the question that I...that I...that...that I am trying to ask...is: what is the question that I am trying to answer? ... is the... is the","I am thinking that we're seeing, or we've seen, or will see, that we're entering a new epoch of human history. And that's that, that the old way of th","so then there's a set of points, and then there's the point that I have not yet defined. So a question I can ask is: how do you define a set of points","I'm thinking about my life and how it was. And how I have a relationship with my life, because I'm sure that we have some kind of relationship with ou","a good theory, we would need to say something about the conditions under which the theory is valid, something like a set of axioms for a theory, and a","if I were to use a time machine to travel to the future and to watch the history of a future society, then what I would see is that there would be no ","and I was also thinking of what is the process for these people who are really intelligent in the sense of mathematical intelligence, to arrive to wha","I'm not sure whether you know this, but in fact I am in the process of writing a book at the moment. In fact I'm in the process not of writing a new b","I'm thinking about... the world is changing. There's something like a revolution going on, and there's going to be some kind of reorientation in terms","but the world of the humanities is not really a world of texts. The world of the humanities as a whole is a world of experience, and that's why the hu","it's a form of an illusion, where the real world is a form of illusion, because the way we interact with the world and the way we make sense of the wo","and there is the possibility that our work has made it a little bit worse, or at least that we have created this structure in our consciousness that i","but I see that in the last few years, our research has led us to a paradigm shift in our understanding of the problem of consciousness. Our focus is o","I've been wondering, what is the nature of the process of knowing? If it were a purely deductive process, then the whole universe would be deduced fro","I'm not going to go into the details of what's going on. We're just going to have an overview of how we understand the universe. The universe, that is","And, at the same time, it's also true, that the best way to do it is, the best way that I can think of is, to build this in such a way that,","so we have to understand the different levels of cognition. We're very familiar with the idea of a primary and secondary consciousness and then tertia","And I was thinking about what I should do now that I've gotten some money and I've got some time. I think that I'll try to go through some of the mate","the reason I'm not in a hurry, you know, to try to get the same thing on this page that I have on the other page is that I'm not sure it's the same th","so, you know, we've had some difficulties in the last few days with this project, because we've been trying to push forward. You know, we wanted to ge","[w]hat's the meaning of a physical law? The meaning of a theory is that you can use it to make predictions. But, if you have a law, what is its meanin","my mind is a big library and I can go back in time, like you go back in time in history books. So I go back into the history of my own mind and I can ","a particle of energy, and we know, of course, that energy is proportional to frequency. It is proportional to Planck's constant times the frequency, a","the idea of a mirror image, as it were, that when you get out of your body and become a living planet, as it will happen in 2500 years, the brain will","the mind of the particle. And that is a very difficult thing to describe in words. We are dealing with a very large number of dimensions, in the case ","and then he gets up, and then he walks in the room, and then the room lights up, and suddenly everything becomes a solid black color, and everything i","the earth is spherical, and in that case, there is no center; that's a very important point, because if the universe were not infinite, then you have ","and we can see that in the case of the universe as well, for the universe is itself a mathematical structure, in the sense that there are all sorts of","if you were to go into a room with a very large number of people, say, a hundred, or ten thousand, or a million, or ten million, or a billion people i","I think my father is very important to me. My father and I have always had an extremely close relationship. The most important relationship is between","that's a long way from the beginning ... I can imagine all sorts of possibilities. I think a good starting point would be to consider some of the thin","then when you find a specific problem, the question is: how can I use it to benefit humanity? Because I could say: well, this is a specific problem an","I'm sure, for the first time, I've been able to give an actual explanation. I can actually describe a process that makes use of the best of modern sci","that's a very interesting question that was not answered. I didn't know where you were going with that. But when I got to the point of not knowing wha","I had an interesting experience when I was in graduate school in the mid-sixties when I was a student of the philosopher David Lewis, and I was asked ","the problem is, I don't know how to do the task because I don't have any good ideas. I have a few ideas, but they are just ideas; I don't really know ","So this is my present state. There is a great deal of material that I would like to use in teaching. It is not possible for me to use the whole of it.","[the] brain is a self-sustaining, self-organizing system of nonlinear differential equations... And if you are willing to accept the fact that there a","I'm gonna do a series of problems that involve a function in two variables. For instance, find the area under the graph of a function of two variables","and here we are again: that's how we do it, here's the standard procedure for finding a formula for an n-th degree polynomial with n+1 given values. W","... ... [T]hinking about how much work is there to be done in a day and how much time there is, how much of the time there is in a day that one can sp","... I just have a very strong feeling of a certain type of equation, which is quite clear. I have a certain kind of equation of two kinds of objects, ","the world, which we are making out of the world. This is a very important part of it. You know that. That is what is done. And what we have done is to","I'm really interested in the ways that our thinking process, our spontaneous thinking process can be analyzed. It's the way that we think, what is the","what does it mean, it's not even a statement. It's just the words, but it's not a proposition, not even a sentence, because it doesn't say something a","I know I'm sitting here in this chair, and I know I don't have to move, so I'm in a state where my senses are not stimulated. But I'm thinking about t","I'm thinking of a number between one and ten, and you say the next number in the sequence. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten","Now I'm going to try to think about the shape of a square and, as I say the word square, it is not yet an object that I am thinking about. It is an ab","the 6th of April 1970, the 7th of April 1997, the 8th of April, 1982. I see that","The most obvious, in the sense that it was the first one that I had to think about, was a question, 'What is the speed of light?', 'What is time?' I t","I'm a bit surprised by this. There is something I'd like to point out. This is a case of 'one thought following another'. At the end of the sentence I","I wonder what we would say if we could go back and see what happened yesterday. I wonder how things would change if we could see the past differently.","And I had a very very vivid image of my father when I was a young boy, and my father was a very serious man. And this is the first time that I had an ","and what is it? Is it a process or a thing? It is not an event. It is a process that is constantly being repeated in itself. It is an activity or a pr","And there was a man sitting there, and a woman sat on the opposite side, and then an event came in their lives that was different from all the other e","what I don't know is how I can get the most out of it, if I do it in a conscious way, or in a subconscious way. If I try to go to sleep and do","it's really important, the mind is really important for understanding the universe and we are the universe, it's just that it is important to understa","the concept of time, and of the relationship between the concept and reality, and how is it possible that there are only two dimensions in the concept","I'm now thinking about this. You're a physicist, you can understand this. What is consciousness? I think it is a quantum computation, or it is somethi","a butterfly was flying and I was following the butterfly, I had some sort of emotion or desire that I wanted to follow the butterfly, but I also had a","and then, of course, there's this. This is the core of the problem. We're supposed to have a general algorithm which produces a universal solution for","And here's a formula which will work on any type of object and will provide its optimal representation in all situations and will provide you with all","it's a good idea to take the 13000 steps a day to keep fit. ...this is good. Now, we need to take a look at it from the point of","I see my hands. I see the words 'I am seeing' on my right hand and 'I am being' on my left hand. I see that I am in the middle of these two","the brain is the central organ of the nervous system and is composed of billions of cells. It is the most complex organ in the body and, along with th","a big wave of water is flowing from the north to the south, from the North Pole to the South Pole... (pause) the wave is getting closer... (pause)... ","and so you see, that is the beginning of an idea for the beginning of a picture, a little picture in the mind. I'm just starting to make a picture in ","... the sun, the earth, and the moon are in motion around a sun that is in motion around the galaxy, which is in motion. The solar system is moving at","and that's a lot of heat in there, is it not, and that's a hot fire, that's a large fire, and that would be an interesting thing to look at, a hot","I'm going to change my mind. It's a bad idea. I can see a lot of problems with this. I have a bad feeling about this. It's not going to work out.","I'm in a boat. It's an oil tanker, but it's just a boat. The whole universe is contained in this boat. It travels through the universe. And the univer","I'm an atheist, or I've always been, but I think we are here to learn. I'm a biologist and I don't know if there's a creator. And I'm sure that","The most interesting thing is what I call 'the dynamic of thought' and 'the dynamic of attention.' In that sense, this is an exercise in self observat","a strange thought came to my mind. I saw this big planet, a thousand kilometres in diameter, and I thought, well, let's say it has a radius of one tho","my memory is limited because I'm limited to the memories of my mind. And the memory of my mind is limited because it's limited to the data that I perc","I don't understand. How can I go back and forward. I can't understand how that works. It's not possible, right? We could have a computer and it has to","I could go to the University of Heidelberg to be a philosopher, and then I could write about the quantum world and about the way that quantum physics ","and that's all right with me. This is the way I see the world and I don't have to justify it to anybody. I can have a world view. And it doesn't matte","Now I'm wondering how I could be more efficient in my work, that is, more productive, but not in the conventional sense. Because efficiency means bein","and then the world is not at all, but is a mental construct, because all that is known, the experience is known by the mind. Now, how would one go abo","[S]omething that's going to make a difference in the way we think about the world, that's going to help us in our relationship with the world, is this","It's interesting because in the beginning, it's an awful lot of information, but it's all unorganized and it's chaotic. And so what's happening here i","and in the last five minutes or so, I'm noticing that my mind is wandering and I'm aware that the process has kind of gone from the scientific and the","I'm thinking about the question of consciousness. I'm thinking that it may be that there are different levels of consciousness, but I'm not sure what ","and I'm just going to say, there's a certain amount of, and I'm not going to use the term 'transcendent' in this case, but I'm going to say that","and then I think about how I can just go through that. Like the process of meditation, which is supposed to be a process of going through a process in","I'm still looking at the concept of consciousness, as I'm looking at it now, and it's an ongoing process, and in that process, in that ongoing process","I am trying to think about the topic of thinking. I am trying to think of the topic of the topic, which is thinking. I can't think of it. I know the w","the moon, the stars, the sun, the light that comes from the light bulb in front of me, that's a kind of energy. That's a kind of light that can be see","[I am] sitting here in a dark room, with the eyes closed. I have to remember that I am here in a chair in a room. This is a kind of physical awareness","I think we're all a kind of quantum state. That's the only thing I'm sure about. It's the only way to know what's happening. What I do is I make sure ","the question is, what is it like to be you. Is that even a meaningful question? What is it like? How do you perceive it? What is the mechanism of perc","we were talking about the brain being plastic. And I remember when I was doing my first graduate degree, I had this idea in my head that there was a w","it was a bit of a surprise for me because the idea of taking myself into the third person was just an experiment. I had not experienced this before an","The other thought is that you can have a conscious thought and it doesn't come from anywhere, like from somewhere external. Like you are just producin","there were two things that I did find that were sort of a surprise to me. One is that I didn't actually think of the word 'thinking' as a separate obj","I am standing in the kitchen. I'm looking for a cup. I am standing on the kitchen counter, looking down, searching for the cup. I notice that this is ","and I am going to say that what you are, in effect, doing is the same as what I am doing here. That is, you are producing an auditory impression, and ","I am in my body. It is like a dream where I know I am in my body but I am not really there. It is an experience where I am aware that I am in the body","I can see a man standing up with his arms folded. I'm saying, I don't know how he got there. And he's standing there with his arms crossed over his ch","And it's an old thing. I mean, a very old thing. But it's just very subtle. It's very, very subtle and you have to be able to look at it. I","And I was looking at the sea. And I saw an image. And I was saying that image to myself. It was the image of the ocean, and I was saying, 'The ocean,'","a voice said, 'you're a space-time man', and I said, 'a what?', and then I said, 'I'm a space-time man' and there was a feeling of the","and the thought is coming from somewhere, not from the brain itself. I do not understand, but the thought comes, and I understand it, and it comes wit","a hand comes up. I think I'm going to draw something on the whiteboard here. I'm not going to be able to draw the actual shape of the hand, but I'm go","what are we doing here? We're just talking. I'm going to go back to talking in my head. ... (laughter) I'm thinking about a person sitting in a chair,","it's funny you say that, because I was thinking about the other day when I was sitting, and I was just thinking of a particular kind of problem that I","what I was thinking before this, you know, was in this room, was in the room that is, was the room that was...what was the word, 'immediate', was the ","the future, which is in a sense a projection, and you have a projection, a projection of something that could be called future, that you would like to","there was this other thought: 'There's the person who was in that dream... the one who was on the street. Is there any relation? There's no connection","the past, the past, this past, is very close and I have a feeling that I am part of it, and I am part of the future. I have a sense that I am in","you know how in dreams, the way that time doesn't have a very clear structure, like you have to restructure your idea of time in order to understand t","it's not a question of being aware, but it's a question of having an experience, an experience of a different level that is different from awareness. ","I'm thinking about the fact that when we're talking about language and cognition, the assumption is that cognition happens in a continuous and seamles","what I would like to say is that this is my way of understanding and organizing, a way of putting the world in a coherent whole, and I think this is w","there's an expression I remember, a clichรฉ that's become clichรฉ because it's been used too much, and that's 'the more you think of it the more you und","And I was a little kid, and I was in this class, and we were doing our English homework, and I couldn't do it. I thought that I couldn't even understa","I think that the word 'know' is a problem in this kind of thinking, because what I can know is an empirical knowledge about the external world. And wh","I have this image of a tree that has grown from a single seed that was sown by a God. I can imagine that this is what a tree would be if there were on","I am a tree, I am a tree. I am a piece of the tree. The tree is a living thing. I am this living thing. There is a connection, and there is a","this is not a concept. This is a concrete phenomenon, a concrete event. The problem of consciousness is not the same as the problem of a concept. A co","I'm not sure if we're in the right place. Maybe it's just a problem with our senses. I am not certain. I am certain that I am here. I am here because ","I'm a man of action. I can't just sit there. I can never sit there. In fact, I can't even imagine that. It's simply a fact of my existence. I","and when I was born I was born as a male and then I was born into the world as a female. When I was born and was born as female, I was born with the d","And we're still here. And we're still in the middle of the universe, we're still the same universe as always and I'm still here in this body and still","I have a feeling that I'll end up in hell. ...I want to go into the church. I am a good Christian. ...I'll get into hell, or I'll get into the","I had this dream which I've never had before. I was in my living room with a friend who I have never seen before. I never saw my friend in my dream. I","I remember that once there was a man named Abenama. His father was named Abenamma. His mother was named Abena. So Abena married Abenamma and they had ","it's not true... this is just a matter of perspective. If I said, 'this is God,' then this is God. If I say, 'this isn't God' then it's","(the) aching, aching, (the) heart that wants to beat, (the) pulse that wants to flow. (The) blood that flows, the blood that is everywhere.","I can't believe it. It's too simple. What's the real solution? The only problem with this solution is that it can't be implemented. And we have to sol","it's going to be so hard for me to give you that much power. Because I don't think I'm the person that I am because of that, and I don't know what wou","but, yes, I'm just a little bit crazy because, you know, there are all the ways I could get away from here. And you know, like you can just fly away, "],["I could always be going out, but I always like to read, even if I'm out of the house... I'm not going to take my book with me, but I'm going to read","it's a little bit like being in an airplane, that it's so far from you. That's the other thing with the airplane, that you don't hear anything, and it","I can't help thinking about all the things that happened before I was born. If I didn't know about any of that, then I would never have been born. I w","And that's the thing. I'm not even sure that that's the case. I mean, it's probably the case, but I'm not sure. I think that there's something that's","I'm trying to think of things to write in the journal, but I don't have anything right now. I'm going to be going to the library tomorrow, but I can't","I think you can think of it like this: you get a problem, it's a problem, and you know it's a big problem because you know the implications and conseq","and that's all they [the police] knew, that there was no evidence, and they had to charge him anyway, so it would have to be done. He [the lawyer] cou","I have no idea if you're a genius or not, and I don't know why you don't tell me that you're a criminal. I'm not interested in finding out why you're ","I have an idea of a nice new way to write a book. I will start with a series of images. Then I will build a whole series of images around those initia","I just saw my mother and sister again. It was nice. But my father was there too. So that made it difficult. It's just that there was a kind of an agre","[t]he thing that I have most enjoyed in the past, I would say, has been the [newspaper] article in which I have made use of this new vocabulary of [sc","the paper has come to me with the whole lot of it. It is a great deal longer than I intended, but that is just as well. I must have more to do than I ","I don't believe that the thought of a single being can be realized by the mind of man. No mind of man can comprehend the thought of one being, if by b","and, then, when the children, for example, in a public school, in a certain district, are selected to be placed in the higher class, it is the teacher","the first thing that came to my mind was the way in which one of the most important things about the way in which a person lives and behaves and think","but then, of course, what do I know about the psychology of the unconscious? It's one of those problems that will not come to an end. In the same way,","there were two things that I couldn't quite understand. First was the theory of relativity, which I was never able to master. I must have been somewha","a second thought occurs. One imagines the person's mind being so cluttered that, in the absence of a focus of attention, it may seem to be moving abou","and now I want to give myself a reason to take it up again, and I think the reason is that, after the first time I had taken it up, I had to take it d","I am now at home, and have my old self back again. It is the same old man as before. I have to return to it, but the difference is that my thoughts ha","I can think about how I have always been thinking about myself. I can think, for instance, that I have been thinking about me as a very active person.","I am writing and I am reading the text I am writing, and I am writing and reading. What I write, I read, and what I read I write again. This is the pr","a number of years ago I wrote a short story, 'The Blue Flower'. It was published in 'The New Humanist' in 1932. I am now going to try to","I have a few more to add, but I won't dwell too long on them. They're all quite trivial. One of these is: the problem of the universe, if there is a u","I am writing about this [notebook, which contains the above transcription] ... I am writing in an old notebook ... in an old, unbound notebook. I am w","I had a thought on the way here. In a study by some British psychologist (I can't remember his name, nor the year of publication), it was demonstrated","the little black box at the top of the page, which, in the first instance, was the actual computer, the second was the program, and the third was the ","there's another problem of course. I'm sitting on the sofa in my study. I have this machine in front of me. And I'm connected to this machine. I have ","I don't understand the 't' here. I'm not sure. I know what it is. I know the concept. I know that it has to do with the time, the time of","oh yeah. Right. I'm going to have to think about that. I wonder if I should ask for an extension on the paper. No. It's not that. I've got to write","so I have an idea of how this works and so I've taken a couple of points of the 666 and I've looked at what's going to happen after that and then I've","So, then, I got to the point where, because the function of the algorithm is to generate a random number, I can just generate a bunch of random number","this is the solution. To use a formalism for the entire set of theories, including the ones I mentioned before, including the one with the squares, we","there is something about the problem of the moon landing that's hard to understand. There were no instruments on the moon and there was no data on the","I have two groups, X and Y. I want to determine whether a given variable A has a statistical significance difference on X and Y, and I have a data set","you can't say, 'This is the definition of a tree'. You can't say 'This is a tree' or 'This is not a tree', because it's not clear which one you","this is an interesting problem... let's think about it some more, and see if it turns out to be an interesting problem, or if it turns out that it is ","I think I will try the same thing with the other word as well. It's not exactly the same thing but the difference is not much. The idea is to make the","I can see that I'm looking at the same object (a window frame, in the room where I'm sitting) as you. That's how we can tell that I'm in the same room","but then there's a point at which there are two types of memory, there's what I could call a spatial memory, like the map of my house, and a semantic ","a piece of wood, a piece of wood. A piece of wood and a piece of metal, and a piece of paper, and a pair of scissors. So this is the raw material, thi","I've had the feeling in the past few days that the universe is expanding, or something is expanding, and I wanted to investigate what it is, because t","I'm trying to think about what it means to say that something is the same. This is a little bit different from what I thought. In the last example, wh","this is a very complex thought, I think I will think about it. I am thinking about thinking. I'm thinking about what I am doing in the course of think","I have an image of my friend that has been with me for a long time. This image is in some sense a sort of representation of myself in the world. It is","I remember, I'm looking for a certain kind of something. I can't remember the name. It's the one in which the notion that every object is in fact the ","that is what makes it very interesting, that it's actually something that we could really say it's the opposite of a proposition. I don't know, maybe ","it's been a long time. There's been an interruption of some kind. The word 'time' means something. There are certain words that are useful and useful.","it's kind of a mindless routine. You get used to it after a while, it becomes more automatic. I'm kind of aware of what I'm doing now, but that's a li","I am not sure if it's a coincidence that I am thinking of this and that, but maybe it is something else. There are many things I am thinking about, an","you can't have a general system of arithmetic that is complete, because of the existence of the incompleteness theorem of Gรถdel. You can't have an eff","I'm going to read this book on the basis of the first 15 or 20 pages, and if it's interesting I'm going to continue reading, and if not I'm going","I know what that means... it means you have to have an axiomatic base for every theorem. You cannot prove the correctness of that. You can only show t","I am a good boy. I have good thoughts. Good thoughts, good things. I have been told, and I am told, that I have good things in me. Good things, good t","that is to say the problem of the mind as a computer is the problem of a machine which is not itself a machine, and which has no algorithm and is not ","I can't think about the truth. The truth is that I'm a woman and I love. I can't get away from that, and I can't escape it. That's the truth.","so, in effect, that's what I'm doing now: I'm trying to make a distinction between my mind, my brain, the physical mechanism that I know exists, and t","I've always thought that a human being is like a machine: I think that it is made of things. For example, the parts are like organs, which are like el","and I wonder whether what's happening in my head is in some sense the same as what happens to the brain in the unconscious. ... So it's like a mirror ","I feel like I'm in a movie, you know. I am the director. I'm watching myself and the actors, and I'm controlling what is being said at any given momen","this is a little bit of a problem, is it? I'm a little bit slow to be able to, I think I need to think of something I'm familiar with. Okay, so I","[the participant]...starts to move his hand, but...he doesn't actually move his hand. He just keeps saying 'no', 'no', and then he goes back to thinki","... ... I'm writing this in the same place, and this is the same room where I was in the previous session, and I'm not doing anything, I'm just thinki","this is like, you know, when we were looking at the data, we were trying to determine how to characterize this, and then you get a sense, you're not r","and we've already found a formula for calculating the number of atoms of a given element, that is, the atomic number, in a compound. And we'll take an","I see that I'm really interested in a way of doing quantum mechanics, but it has to be done in an entirely different way. It has to be a different way","and you want to know what I would be thinking, you know, in a normal situation. And what would you expect to see, in a very simple way, what would you","a man. He's not a good man, but he's a good man. He was a good man in the sense that he was the kind of man who could go into a situation in the","I've been in the past, when you get out of a car, and you want to get out, but you get out the car and you realize that you can't get out the car,","a feeling that something is wrong. It's something in the way the wind moves through the leaves. A feeling that you're not in touch with the wind. That","I'm thinking about the plane. The airplane, I can hear it moving through the air and moving through the sky. The airspeed is increasing. It's accelera","we'd better look out for these guys, they're getting away from us, we're getting caught up with them, we're going to be on a collision course with the","now it's getting dark. It's very dark. I'm sitting in the dark. It feels cold. It's cold here. My feet are cold. My feet and my legs feel cold.","I'm in the forest. I'm going to go through the forest to the school, I don't know how to go. There's no way to go, I don't have a way to","it's a way of seeing, a way of feeling the space, the direction, the movements, the jumps, the jumps of the feet, the jumps off, the jumps on, the jum","so we can see this ... and this ... the edge of the cube, this is the edge of a cube. ... so this is an edge, we see the edge of that cube here ... so","I just finished up the end of a long piece of text. Now I've started on another, with a different font and a different color. And this is a lot easier","the scene with the dog was in my head and it was a bit funny. The dog is not the same as before, but it was the same size, it was in the middle of the","my mind is going through the process of coming up with a way to write a program for an embedded processor. I have a series of 7 bytes of data. It is a","so... like... I... I think... that's... I think I should use the... the... the 2600... and I should... I should... do... some kind of","you know, like I'm looking at the monitor here. and I think of the thing about like the number of things. and that's like the thing that I have in min","and you know the last word was a number, so you have to go back and re-look at the last line and see what it was, and then you go back to the last lin","I have this idea. What if there was a machine which could show all the possible futures for a system. And the machine could also show how the system w","I can't see it, because it's all about this big fat white triangle, which is the same as this little fat triangle that's here, which is very big and i","and you look at this and you think: this is going to be a good model for some sort of database. And then you say, 'it looks like it's going to be 10","(5 seconds) ... (2 seconds) ... 12 14 13 (1 seconds) ... [1/3 seconds] ... 21 ... 10 (3","[I think] I need to start with some [I think it's about] an angle [I think about it in] an image [I think the image is about] the circle [I","the number 4321321, which is 1322131, 4332121, 144, 11,","a friend of a friend of mine, this person is a friend of my friend, so I say, 'My friend of a friend' of this other person, this is a friend who knows","okay, i guess i have some sort of idea for this, maybe the idea for this will be... yeah... it's going to be something like, okay, so the first thing ","the more a person learns, the less there is to learn. I can see it happening, but I don't know the details, maybe I should find a way to do this, this","I'm going to think about some things, and then I'll stop. So, here's one thing. You can have a big number, 100, but if you can also have","and I think there's a theorem that says that if the set of the first n primes is in a set of integers, and n is in a different set, then the sum of n ","if the next time you're given a problem, you've got three solutions and you say that you've got to use two, you don't say that you're going to use one","this is my number... (pause) this is a square root of a number... (pause)...(pause) 2x2x2=8... (pause). (Pause) 8","the idea that you are in control of what is going to happen, you're controlling the control, the control of the control. This is really the important ","we would like to think of it as a string of random points in time and space, all of which are interconnected, and to find that in fact, the distance b","The idea that the Universe has a mathematical structure...the fact that we have a mathematical structure in our brains and the fact that the Universe ","[The] idea of a whole being in a small world, where all the action takes place, and all the activity, is that it's really in a small finite world, and","I'm saying this, I'm thinking this and so forth. And then I'm saying something else. And then, you know, what is my thought, or what is my sentence, o","I see some very good things, but I also see some very bad things, which I call bad thoughts, that I should try and get rid of. They're really bad thou","it's the same way in my work. In a work, in a scientific work, the way I see it is, there are two fundamental things: the theory and the practice. In ","you see, it's a very special situation, you see, because if you have, for example, an object, if you have an object, and you see a cube, say, and you","I'm wondering whether you were right to say that the relationship between the world and the world of the mind is not a one to one relationship, but th","you can be here, you can be there, you can exist anywhere. If you do not have the same quantum potential as you are now, you can change that, you can ","I am lying on my back and looking up at the sky. It is dark. I don't see any stars or other points of light. There is just the sky. I can see the shap","I have a feeling, I'm not going to be able to see the universe from the outside. It's a little bit like a hologram. That's because of the fact that th","the word is: 'truth'. Let's see... and what is truth? If I ask you what is truth, you will give me some answer. But if I ask you: what is the","you know, I'm a little bit surprised that we're not talking about the concept of time, or about the relationship between time and space or between spa","and in a different sense it's also something you can think about as a metaphor for the way the brain works. So if the brain is this gigantic system of","that is the idea of a body and I can't say it without a lot of...I think this is related to the way we look at the world. Because when you look at the","I know that I am not conscious of what I am thinking at every moment. I'm not aware of my thoughts, my own consciousness. But then, what are they? Wha","Now I think that we will be talking about something which is so general as to be almost empty. For example, the question 'How are you?' has no answer ","there's a small section of a large number of sections of a tree, and I'm looking at them as though I were a geologist and I were studying a stratigrap","I'm sitting in this chair. I see a lot of things that I could say. But, I can't say anything because it's not a real thing. It's not an object. So","the sea, the sea, what is the sea? Well, it's what the sun makes you see, and in a way, that's right because it's all about perspective. But what's","it's a long way to the center of the galaxy. It's a very, very long way, a very very very long way. There's a very very long time, so that there's","and then I've just come to think that all this is not possible because I don't believe in time, as in the past or future. But I know the past because ","I think that the universe has no time, and therefore that it can be viewed from the standpoint of a mathematical abstraction of a geometrical concept.","now I am looking at this room. ... the whole room is black. ... and it looks like there are some grey things on the wall, and some green things, and s","I can't understand why I've never thought of this before: my room and my closet. A room is three-dimensional. A closet is two-dimensional, but still i","there was a point of view ... it wasn't a point of reference, it was a point that was ... I'll just look at it this way: there's a point in the center","and the person in the picture, the image of the person, is what is seen. But I have also seen a person, and now it seems to me that it is possible to ","and then I saw this, and it's a line of stars and it's like the image of a sphere, so I see the image of the sphere. It's the sphere of the sky.","I want to make a gesture with the hands and then the mind makes the gesture happen. I can do the gesture without the hands. The gesture is a gesture o","and so it's like a time loop. So we have the two elements, we have the body and the consciousness and the interaction between them and so the interact","the new city [is] in the 8000 square kilometres area. There is a lot of room. The city is at the middle of the area. There are other cities in the","we are still in the process of building. ... I am still a part of the whole. ... The whole is me. ... The self is the whole. The self is everywhere. I","And this is the subject, this is the object. You cannot have a subject without an object. Then the subject will disappear, because it will become a pr","and a wave, and a wave, that is, a wave of this ocean which is the ocean of my existence, I am its wave. And I, in a sense, am the ocean,","And I thought, I was so young and I had all this potential, and the potential was so great, that I could have been the most wonderful person, the most","And a lot of people who were trying to take care of the earth, I was the first to say that, and I have not seen that happening. People have been tryin","I see the whole world. I see the universe. I see it in detail. I see every atom. I see that there is no difference between me and you and the tree. I ","... and this is a simple thing, really. It's so obvious it's a tautology: The thought that I am not in my body is a thought that is not in my mind.","the day, the sun is going to disappear, to vanish, and the darkness is going to fall in. The darkness is going to grow, and it is going to come to us ","[s]mall circles are made up of more and more circles, so they're in one. It's not just the little circles that are made up of bigger circles, it's als","there were two planes on this planet. And the first plane was the plane of matter. It was the plane on which the physical body exists. Then there was ","the water is going through the tube, the tube is going through a channel, and the channel is going through an island. But this island has a certain sh","I just made up a name for the place you are in. ... You could have some kind of a name. ... [It's] very beautiful and wonderful. It is in the space. I","this is an experiment in free expression. In fact, this is a very precise expression of that experiment. Here is the expression of the experiment itse","and I just had a sudden idea, a sudden vision, that there is a limit to the speed at which anything can go, and that it is the speed of light. And tha","I am looking at a little girl in a boat. There is a blue boat, and a little girl is sitting in it. She's just a child, and the boat is very tiny. Ther","And in the moment, in the instant, this is how it is. There is nothing wrong with it, nothing that should be changed, it is the way it is, it is itsel","now it is in front of us, but it is not the same as that which is on the outside. This is our experience of time and of space. ... The world we are li","we're being directed. If we don't have any light, we're being pulled into a black hole. If there's any light, we are being pushed out of the black hol","you've got to have a way of getting outside of yourself. You can't escape into an empty universe, because it's empty; but you've got to get out of you","There are several of these stars. They are not just stars; there is something else. We must see how these stars can be represented. We must not put th","this is a very strange place to be. I've been here a long time. I've looked up and down. This place is infinite. I know that, because there is no end ","I am standing here, looking around me. I see nothing, I see no color, no shape. Everything is like a cloud, and I am a cloud, or part of a cloud. The","my mother's grave, you can't go to her grave because there is a wall around it. You can't get to it, and if you had a ladder you could go to the top o","the images in the night sky. There are a few stars and a few planets, and the sun and the moon and the moon itself is a huge planet. It is very bright","this is just a circle of the earth. It's not a globe. The earth is like this... now it's a circle. The circle has a circumference. If you take a circl","this is the way I want to think... [clicks the tip of the head with his finger]... [clicking the tip of his head with his index finger] ... and here's","the tree is falling ... I see the tree falling down. And I see a little, a tiny bit of it falling off. And I'm not sure ... but it might be a branch t","then you go and you go and then you go and, oh, then you go, and then you go there. You go there, and you go there, and then a little way off there","and it was there, like this. And I think you see it, the red. It was like a red. Like a little red thing. And then there was a white thing in front of","and we saw the first one in the back of the eye, and then it seemed like it was just a white spot. But then it seemed to get bigger, and then there we","it's going to take a few minutes, and it's going to be all right. The light is getting bigger. You're going to come out of it. It's going to get brigh","and he's floating on the surface of the sea, and he's surrounded by a lot of little fishes that are swimming around. And then all of a sudden he start","and then I remembered I was once in a field of wild flowers, and I was lying in the middle, and I saw a golden sphere, and it was spinning, and it was","I'm making this wall up. I've been making it up for a while. I see the whole wall now. I've already finished this part. And I see the other side of th","I want to get that thing, I want to go down there. It's a big square thing. I want to do that. There is a big circle and then there is a square and th","the forest is quiet and the little children are singing, and the birds are flying by, the little children and the birds. The forest is quiet, and ther","and the others are just a little bit bigger, you know. And then it's like, you know, you've got all those little houses, and you're inside them. And t","and the pictures I drew at home, at my house. There's a picture of my house, my house with a garden in the front, and a cat that I drew, and a sun tha","I'm sitting here by the window. I think about all these things that I can do, like doing the washing up, and all these things. Then I think about the ","I've been trying to think of a way to help the people who live in the building. Maybe I could get some big cans of water and put them around the front","... it's a place where no one's ever been before, and no one knows how to get back there... ... all you have to do is think, and it'll be there, the t","and when I was a kid, I lived in a small town where there was this big, tall, tall house that was all by itself on the edge of town and nobody lived i","I was having a very good day. I had to get into town, to go shopping, and I took the bus and went to town. The bus went up a hill, and it was raining","we're talking about the seven laws, right? Like seven laws and one law for each of us, but we don't know the seven laws. We just know one law and that","a good many years ago... it's hard to think... it's just been going along and it's... it's been... it's... my... my... it's going along and my mother","you don't have a lot of things in common with your friends and stuff. you don't even know what they're doing and you just go out and have fun and stuf","I got my first one here at home, and it was the first time, and the last time. So, when I went to New York, I got a few and got a couple of them","I don't think it's as hard to start with the sun. If you do it with the sun, you can see what happens to the snow and how it melts, and the water goes","and my uncle died, he's dead now. And that's in... in the summer, and I was there, and I'm 14, and I remember when I was 14","and then they get out of the truck, and they climb on the fence, and then they come out and go, 'hi!' and then they're like, 'oh, you're a friend","you know, I want to start out by telling you that, when I was younger, my uncle died of cancer. He was my only uncle and I was very close to him. He u","I'll take care of my little one. I've got to tell them they'll have to work hard. And they'll have a nice house. And then when they're married they'll","and then the water came up to my feet and the water was cold and I got scared and then I got my feet wet and then we went home and I fell down and hur","now you're coming in here with your nose like that. So now you're coming out here, with your nose all like this. That's what you look like, like a gop","that was the first time I saw the dog. When I first saw the dog I had to tell the lady about it. Then we saw the other dog. Then he jumped on me and b","...I'm going to take off my shoes. I don't like them on the floor. I'd better take off my dress. It's hot in here. I'd like to play with you","now, if we were to come here... there'd be a man lying on his back in the sand and he'd have a red thing on him...and a dog would be eating his feet..","you've got the key to the barn and it's a big one, and you've got a little gun. You can use it to shoot the horse, and you can shoot the cow. The","this is a bad thing...I can't stand him...this is the second time I've been here...this is a good place...I was just thinking that he was going to be ","I was thinking, if I had to kill someone, I'd kill my daddy... I wouldn't kill him, but I'd kill him real good... I'd cut him up into little pieces an","the first day we had to go to church and go to the stables and the cowshed, and I went with Mr. Tull, and when we got home the horse was dead and the","it was on my birthday that I met this man, and when he died I had to give my daughter his clothes and I wouldn't have minded but he was so fat he was ","I'll get a good piece of paper and a good pen and a good pencil and some charcoal and some drawing paper and some blackboard chalk and I'll try and dr","the clouds are flying in my mind. I have seen them on the way home. We passed over them and then we came home and they're in my mind now. We came home","the dog is asleep over there, and it is so cute when it's asleep. I think I'll take it home with me. Oh, the dog is going to be so glad I did it","now that the baby's got a mouth, it'll be a mouthful! '... now that the baby 's got a mouth! ... now that the baby got a mouth - that's what","and the man, who was the little girl's daddy, he was dead, and the little girl was crying, and I thought it was a good thing, and the boy was crying, ","I think I'll take the train up to the North End, and then we'll go down and eat at the place on the corner of West St. and Front St. I like the place ","oh, I'm thinking of that poem that I wrote last winter about the snow, you know, that I've just been thinking of it since. You know, I just keep on th","I can't have that, it would be a perfect circle, wouldn't it? ...And he was thinking about that, that is a great big hole, in the middle of that littl","I'm going to be late. I've got to get to the bus. Oh, it's the bus I can't get off, or I'm going to miss it, but I haven't","the man's feet was out on the pavement and I think his coat was open and it's raining and I could see it. And I think it's going to rain hard, too, an","and then that is the way I left the house... oh I am going to go to my father's house. Yes I am... oh I would... oh I like to go to your house...","and you know how I could just have told them all to go to the devil? That they were too old to be here now and it would have been a great pity for the","and that is what I'm doing, I'm going to do a book review of some sort, of the book that I read when I was a boy, or girl, that is. And I","what would I have to do to win this race, what would I have to do, what would, would I, oh, what would you, I would have to jump over these big rocks ","... ... I saw the house and it had a very queer look and it looked as if it was standing on one leg and one of the legs was gone and it was going to f","I mean, I was just thinking how beautiful you'd look in a dress with a bunch of flowers in it. I know you're going to wear it on your birthday, and I ","and now I'm going to have to go away and work at home in the night, and I won't be back until it's dark, and I'm going to have a funny day and have","and if you give it to me, and you give it me, and it is my turn to go on with it, I'll be very happy. ...I don't know how it will end","it is like that with all those people, you know, if they are not happy in themselves, what do they matter? I remember a girl we used to know, she used","and they're going to come here to meet us, they're going to be glad they've met us, and it'll be a pretty sight when they're all there. What an awful ","I don't think he's ever been married, either. But he's not as old as I thought. He looks about nineteen, nineteen years old; not much older than that,","well, he'd have to have been very much out of his mind to do it. I don't think he'd have the heart to do it.... No, I suppose not.... That's the","I used to like a little girl, I used to call her Sussy. I knew her when she was a little child. She was my mother's little sister. We all lived at hom","now the thing is, that I'm going to do everything. I'm going out and have a drink at the bar. And then I'm going home to my mother, and I'm going to","it's not the first time that I've said that, isn't it? Yes, I have said it before. That's a fact. I said it before, that I was going to do","we can't get this...we can't....it's no good...it isn't no good....that's all...it's no good, that's all. Well, it was no good","well I have the little letter on me now. I'll give it to him. I must have it in my pocket, I must keep it in my hand. I can't remember how it looked","that's all I've got. It's a long way off. If you hadn't done it you would have had to do it twice. I was sure it was a good bit of work,","it's a nice day for a picnic, isn't it? I wish I'd brought a picnic; but, I suppose I'd forgotten it. I don't know why I shouldn't have thought","I feel like a donkey. And I've been here three months now. Three months I've been at home! I've had time to look round this place! I never did but now","and I've been to London in the spring. I've seen the great view of the Tower, and the great park. And then I've been at Oxford, and I've seen the new ","that was a nice picture; it made me think of the painting in the gallery of the old school. They used to have it up on the wall. 'The old school,' 'th","and I was sitting in the railway carriage on the way to the station to take a parcel from a friend of mine, and there was a little girl who was carryi","in a small town, it's like a town. ...in a small city, it's not like a city. ...in small country town, it'd be like a country town, but it","And the other one, the other one... the one I told you about, you know... the one, I forgot her name, I can't think of her name, the one who was very","well, and I'm just beginning to realize what a terrible place you left me at. You know, I'd never thought about it before. And I feel just as if I'd n","but that was a nice surprise, that was a big surprise; yes, a surprise; yes it was; yes it's a surprise that you should have had that dream, that was ","I used to have a picture of you. It was a real good one. I bought it for you in New York. And when we got married, I had it put up in our bedroom.","it is very good, they are not afraid to say it, and you know what? ...I am very proud of you, because you are going to have a very nice house, and a n","I have a friend who's been at home since yesterday morning and is still at home. She had a cold yesterday. She was out with a friend, and had to go an","I'm always glad to see him. He's not very well. His teeth are all gone. But he is very, very happy and he always tells me, when I go to see him,","I guess the fact that she's so tall and I'm short, and she's so white and I'm so brown, and that's just the way we are. So maybe that's just how","my mom gave me this little book, and she told me that I could take it back. But I didn't because she said that I could only read it when I get home, a","the color of the room is greenish, like the color of a lot of trees, and they were in a park. The trees were kind of tall and they were all different ","[mumbling] uh, I'm doing it, I'm thinking it, but I don't really know what to do with it. ... it's so, so, so long. ... oh","and I'm sitting at the table now, and the table is a very long table, and there's a man over here, and he's sitting down, and he looks up, and he says","you can't think of anything else that is happening on the TV now. What is the show about? A group of girls, sitting in a circle, talking. A girl is re","so, you know, in my class we do a lot of that, you know-- I have a little, um, a little picture, of--uh, a little drawing of the classroom,","and in that little book I made, I wrote out all the letters of the alphabet, and the words I wrote that started with those letters, and in the book I ","and then she went to school and she had to learn how to do division, but it wasn't very hard. She was just about to do that. And she was in her house ","And so I went into the hall and I looked and there were some flowers and I picked some flowers and gave some flowers to my mom and then I gave some to","The time is very long; the time is very short. We're looking at a picture of a long time, the time of the moon, the time which the moon shines. The ti","and in this way they were just like the children in the picture-book, and were talking, and the old people, they were talking too, but they were talki","And I look, and see a long, long road and a great city, and the city has a wall round it, and the wall is strong, and high, and wide; and there is","I could write down this poem, I could write down the name of the flowers and the things that were growing in the garden and write down the names of al","I wonder who is the one that I'm going to be marrying... And when I got married, the woman that was coming with me, was my mother. That was me and my ","I'm thinking of a boy. His name is Gervase. He lives in the house near the river. I often go down to the river to get things from the house, and I see","and I don't know whether to call you back or not. I should write to you. I wrote to you twice, and you never answered me, but I don't mind. You have t","it's going to be a long winter. The weather's very bad. I'm not going to be able to go out much. I suppose I might have to make my bed with somebody I","and what's that? ... yes, there it is. That's a picture. Well, I don't like it, because it looks a little bit too long and not very well cut up.","but that's all right. ... I had to ask for the name of my mother, but she hasn't told me. I shall tell her about it. ... She is a kind woman; I","there's a story of the son of a rich merchant and his servant in the Arabian nights, who are travelling through a desert. And they are thirsty, and th","I am going to say the words of a poem, and then I am going to draw pictures of what I am going to hear. The words are in Greek. I don't know them, but","and then I remembered this other poem, when a man said that there is a way to say anything, in a new way; and I remembered that, and then I remembered","Now, you know what a pomegranate is, but don't you know what the word means? It doesn't sound like a thing; it sounds like a thought, a feeling, a","the little boy ran and laughed, and a thought came: 'that boy will be a boy some day, and this girl will be a woman, and so it will be for all of us w","I could give you my hair... It's white... No, not my hair, I... I'll tell you a story. The story of a prince and his lover. But she was a dragon","you are so silly to think that you are the only one, in all this world. Oh! Oh! Oh! And I'm not like you, I'm not a little boy. Oh!","and the other day I was in a train, going to the sea. The train was a yellow, old, old train and it went as fast as ever it could. I was all alone,","and so, you see, the next day they sent to bring me my own little baby, the same as me. She was only a few weeks old. The poor child! And she has only","I don't like to think of the people who don't like me as not liking me. It's not that, it's that they're too afraid to admit it. It's like when I","and if I could have known that the time would come to feel that way I don't know whether I would have been as kind to it. If it had been a woman I thi","I would like to look into the lake in order to see the reflections. I would like to hear the voices of those who love me, and I would like them to say","you see it, you don't see it. That's a child's language. I don't know what it means. And I'm a child. I've had many children. I've seen","a tree in the snow. I have seen this before, once when I was a little girl. But then I went away and never saw it again. Now I have come back, and I h","I remember my aunt saying: 'He's a bit of a snob,' because he was rather proud of himself, of his fine manners; and he would not let himself be seen b","then I was looking at this painting and I wanted to find out what the story was behind it, and then I wanted to draw the picture, and I was very very ","And so in this way I go to sleep. I have an idea, I think about it and I see it as it was at the time I was dreaming of it, and I say to myself","I've been in this chair for so long now, I can't think of anything else. I've been thinking and thinking about my mind, but I'm getting nowhere. I'm i","a thought occurs to me: if there's a thought and another thought about that thought, the first thought is not complete, but remains unfinished until a","in my dreams, I am at sea, floating on the surface, in the middle of the sky, the clouds are coming and going, coming and going and the sun is shining","there's a tree, in a field, with a long trunk and branches out to the right and to the left. ... the sky above it is a clear blue, there's no clouds i","... it's always a pleasure for me to think in words and I wonder what it would be like to think in images and colors, to see everything with my mind's","in this field there is something like a small river, flowing from the depths of the earth. We shall have to go down to it, we shall have to get into t","And I'm going to be the queen. I'm going to make this world mine. I'm a queen. I'll build a palace. I'll make it beautiful. I'll give it gold","the green tree of the desert ... the great, broad leaves and the green stem, green trunk of the tree and the leaves ... and the root of it ... the lon","and I know you are not. I have been there. I know you and I know you will not come. But I will remember. I will remember you and you will always be wi","and there, it's a woman and a little child. Oh, look! Look at this! ...and, and then, there is a big tree and then, then, a little bird and","the woman has just passed her head into the water. The man in the water is swimming away. She is not yet in the water. He is swimming away with her, b","and I remember I was trying to remember what it was like when it was raining, when it was pouring. And I remember a little girl who was walking, and s","it was a...a...a...man with...with...with a...a face like a...a mask, it was a...mask, it was like a mask, it...it was","the shape of the woman's body... I remember I said the shape of a woman's body, and the word 'shape' sounded like a... like a snake's head... her body","and the next night it was raining so very very hard, and the storm was a blue-purple-green color and it was as though the wind was playing with the ra","It was the smell of the sea, of the sea wind, it was a cold wind, and the cold wind... and I was on my knees... and it was like a dream... a dream","I am going to get to the window. I am going over the hill, and I'm going to go in, and I have a very strong feeling that I am going in the window, and","the train was going over a bridge. The bridge was made of iron. It was dark and there were no people around. There was a dark sky, and the sun was set","a person has a face, and it's just like a mask. It's just a mask of a face, but it has no body. So you can imagine that a mask of your face is","the ground was almost bare, and it looked like the ground was going to be eaten by the snow... but it looked like it would never reach the top, so the","[I]t's a tree with the trunk, and then it branches and then it starts to get smaller and then the leaves and then the bark and then it's a tree, it's ","[looks away to the side] ... yeah, that's what it's like, like that's how I feel like, like, it's like my whole head is like a bubble of air,","the yellow-green... is it yellow-green? yellow-green. There's a big yellow-green thing. I'm standing on it. The yellow-green thing is going down, and ","in my mind I saw an old woman, and she was standing in a little garden, and it was raining very hard, and her hair was all wet, and it looked like the","The sound of the leaves in the wind...that's the sound of the wind. The wind is blowing. There's a man in a field and the wind's blowing in the field.","I have a friend of a friend in the jungle. She's a witch. She's not very big. She lives in the middle of the forest. I've seen her a few times. She","oh I wonder how many miles...I wonder how many...miles have...been...wandered...through...the...valley...where...the...broad...river...rolls...","there is no room in the world for those who do not love... I am afraid of love! The sky is like a blue water in which you see the stars and the moon a","that is what the birds make. They make it of clouds. They make it when the sun shines, and it looks like the clouds that are flying by, but it is not ","and my dream was about the green sea. And the trees. And a little girl who had a basket in her hands. And a boy. And a big snake, and then the little ","and now a light, very little light comes from above, but I cannot see it. It is very still in the air. It is like a woman, her hair very long, standin","a few red and white lights, a blue-green moon, a sky of purple and yellow, like the color of a violet...and a soft white mist... a great mist like the","we were both very careful of how we handled it because the air was very cold, and the light was very bright. You must not forget to do it. The air is ","you know the way I look at them [the clouds] from here, and they're all little white eggs and they look like little birds' eggs and there are big blac","the whole thing is a sort of...a...a...I don't know...a sort of...sort of...a sort a sort of a...a...something...that's something...sort","that was a strange thing. I was thinking, what's that, what's this. It's the sun. And I said, 'this is a sun.' And then I said, the sun","and I see that there's this little boy and he's very small. He's sitting in a chair and he's wearing a blue dress, like a woman's, and he's got a whit","a little girl in a pink dress. That's her in my story. She's in my story in a dress of pink and yellow. She's playing with some little white things, t","now I have a thought of a picture. I'm going to draw this on my pad, so I can think of it. The first part is like a cloud, and the clouds are going up","I remember once, when I was young, I used to paint a picture of the sun. And it looked like a big circle of red, and round it was a white circle. It w","there is a very interesting thing about a person in a dream. If a person is asleep they can look at the ceiling. If a person's asleep they can see the","and I think they're the little children in the forest. They're little children in a tree, and there are a couple of little children. One's a girl, and","I'm walking down a street in the city of the future. It's a long, long street, and it's full of big, tall buildings and green trees. There's a big, hi","and the lady was a little bit pregnant and she went away. And now a little baby went away and he said, 'Mama! Mama!' and she said, 'What is it?' and","that's what it is like to be alive. But I'm a living thing now, and I am a living thing. I have been a dead thing, and I have been an alive thing.","and now we're going to make a picture, and I'm going to tell you what to draw, but I'm going to do it in my head, and you can draw it on paper,","I'm thinking of all the things I did in the woods yesterday afternoon. I got a great idea for a story. It was a little boy, and he was trying to go to","And we have to build this machine, and it's going to be made of wood, and it looks like this: and you make it so it fits in this box, and then when it","so there is a way of putting the pieces together, I think, but I'm not sure exactly how. Well I think the way would be to take the pieces and make a d","and if you had two dice, each with two faces, and each of the two faces with three numbers, then you'd have six numbers. But you could only do this wi","556314317764485865331653487256487625731","I think about how the words are formed and made into sentences. I wonder how this might be done without computers or symbols. I think about the word '","I wonder how long I will be here. Maybe I will be a hundred. I am a hundred. How long is a thousand years? I don't know. There was a boy in my class","the word is the most simple and complete symbol. It is a single idea. For instance the word 'flower' contains the idea of flower. The word 'cat' conta","... a green grassy field, a blue sky and a white cloud. A river with green grass on both sides. A river of green water, the river of green grass, a ri","the 123456789.9876543211009988766554433221","I don't know why I say this. Why do I say this? Because this is the right word. It's the only word that goes with this thought, and that's why it's ri","the whole idea of the world was that we were trying to get the answer to life's question, and the answer was in the middle of the square root of all t","... ... ... ... (here begins the description of an image which I will describe with words; the words I use for the description of the image I will wri","it is, to begin with, a figure of the diagonal, which has only one point in common with the circle, and, to say the same thing differently, one point ","I'm trying to think of what to say. I'm going to say something about the meaning of 'the' and of 'a,' but I'm not sure. I'll start with 'a","my eye was not a point, it was a small circle. And in my mind's eye the whole space was a series of concentric circles, not with the same centers, but","and when it was half of 10, the time began again. And he said that time was a kind of ... a kind of wheel which went round round. And then he said tha","I saw a face with a mouth and eyes, like in a dream. The face was not a real one. It was like an object, like a body without a substance. And it was f","I'm going to write a story. The story is of a man. He is a man. I am going to make him a hero. He is going to fight. I am not going to","and my hands are on the right side, and my head is on the left side, and the earth is on the right of me and my body is on the other side, and I have ","[and] I think of a number, and the number of the number, and then I see an image of the number 8 in my mind, and I see the 8 again and again","And if you have to go far away, and you are traveling on the sea, the water goes away from you, and the wind blows you away. When you are lost, you ca","I was trying to remember how to make a map. I thought of a map with a very high scale, like a topographical map, but then I realized that I wanted a m","[I'm] thinking about this triangle, here. Well, there's the circle, there's a triangle and the square. And if the triangle is made up of three sides, ","It's just a single line that goes from 0 to 180 degrees and it has 10 points on it, and each point has two numbers written on it. Each line is","1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,","the next is the same. But the other two are not. It's a sequence of 20. And this one is 22. ... there are two sequences, each one of which","two and five make seven. seven and five make twelve. twelve and five make seventeen. seventeen and five make twenty two. twenty two and five makes twe","and I know it's very good, but it's a long time ago, I don't remember, it's 5:00 or 5:10, it's a little after","and they are 62.5 centimeters long, and the 17948154th triangle is 11358 centimeters long and is a right triangle","I have a feeling that I am standing on the edge of a cliff, with my hand outstretched, trying to get hold of a moving train, but the train is just out","I don't know why we have to think. It's not because of our will. I don't think this is a problem. We don't think at all. But if we think, then","a dream about the moon, the moon's light, and a telescope. But not the telescope in the sky, but a telescope that you hold in your hand and that is on","It was the 19th century and the town was in the middle of the countryside and I was the only inhabitant. I walked along the streets and found myself o","the numbers were growing; the numbers were growing in the direction of the number 10, which is the number of the devil... they were growing and they w","and I have got a 4th dimension which is the time and which is the space and the 4th is the time, and I can, by that means, see the 4th","I'm thinking about something that looks like the first few pages of a book that was written before the advent of the printing press. The words were wr","and you know what I say I'll be like, like a little man that can walk on water? But you know what you've got to do first? You got to get the whole wat","the voice in the back of my head is calling to me from the left side of the brain. The words 'Sine Qua Non' are the Latin equivalent of 'Necessary Con","my arm is up ... it's up ... it goes down ... and ... and ... my arm is down ... and it goes up ... and ... up ... and down ... and up ... and the arm","I think it was a good thing the eye was not completely open. When the eye was open, the pupil was dilated and I couldn't see anything. It was a kind o","Now I will look at this point of intersection of the three lines. Oh, that's an equilateral triangle! Now I'll put this line here (moves it over) and ","then there is an empty rectangle and we try to fill it up again and this is where the problem is... ... the problem is that we cannot fill this rectan","I know there's a lot of energy in this world. It's just not distributed in any meaningful way, is it? There's no real structure. It just comes and goe","a wall. And then, it was a circle. And then it was a square. And then a cube. And then there were lines, and then the lines were parallel to each othe","a few of these other ones, like the last one, have this ... this ... what's this? a half-formed thought, that I ... the first ... the first thing that","and a number of them were, for instance, the square of a prime, and it was 4542. And it is the sum of two consecutive squares. And it's 2","but you can't do it in the middle of a sentence, because there's some tension in the sentence and it's not a complete sentence, and so you can't break","we're still getting into the third person, and the third person is still in the third person. Now there are some things that are more or less in the t","and they are all right. And they are all in the right place. And the two, the three of them, are all in perfect symmetry, and all of them, of course, ","and then, all of a sudden, it's a strange shape. There are four of these strange shapes in a line, and it's got some sort of structure, which is made ","the thing I would like to say is that the sum of all the points of a surface is a line; and a surface is an infinity of points. Now if we take one poi","and then it was... and it's... and it was... I know... I know something about it... I think it is... I think I know something... I know it's a... a","and a new idea comes out of nowhere ... I'm sure that this new idea is based on some old idea ... but I do not know what the old idea is. It is not a ","I am... I am an ... I am a ... I am an elephant... I am a man... I am thinking, I am a thought... I am... and then I am... now I","a cloud of bees is buzzing through the air, it's a very simple picture of course. The buzzing is very loud, a high-pitched noise, a noise made by many","I want to make a three dimensional model of the sun. It would have to be of a very high order to be visible to the eye and I can make a rough one, I j","1447, the sound of a clock, and it's a pendulum, and the clock is slowly going through the first 3200 cycles, and I hear a little","I remember walking through the woods in the afternoon sun, and seeing a beetle crawling on the ground, and it's back was really hard. I wonder what is","I can see that the earth is being drawn in from all sides, and at the same time the earth is expanding and contracts. When I look at the earth from th","now I am seeing the picture of the black hole with its light curve. Now I am seeing in my head this picture of a black hole, and it is like a little p","and the whole universe is just the result of the evolution of the mind. It's a result of the mind evolving, and so the universe evolves together with ","it is just a few seconds ago that I was thinking about what I would like to be in the next one hundred years. I do not know what I am doing now. But w","and I had a little moment of memory, where I thought that the image that I am looking at is actually a bit like the one that I just imagined. So I am ","[M]y brain is trying to construct this little device, a little robot, it is a bit like this [the experimenter indicates in front of her, by making a l","it's almost like we're moving along. it's not very obvious what's happening. It's kind of like the universe is moving, and then it's like there's a ch","a point of light ... that I can imagine, that is a dot ... the dot, a dot ... that I see and that is a ... a point of ... of light, of light ... and","It's a little bit like when you have a dream, but not the same thing because it's not the same way of looking at reality. In the dream, there is a sto","the thoughts which we have when we sleep are not the same as the thoughts which we have awake. Because the brain is very different when asleep, the th","It was something like a realisation of how this could be done. I'd always been interested in the idea of the word itself and the sound of it. And that","the body is made of so many small elements that, if they were to be extracted and arranged in a line, would stretch for many kilometres... and in fact","I am trying to make a mental picture of the sun. It's not difficult to do so, but I find it very hard to give a physical image. I could make a mental ","the thing is, there are things that we cannot perceive, but that are nonetheless present: there are things, for example, that are only visible in thei","it's the first time in a while I've been thinking about it, and I'm wondering how many things are actually real and how many things are in fact figmen","the word 'snow', when I think of snow, it's something I'm aware of, but I can't say whether it's snow in the literal sense or some other sort of snow.","I am looking at my hand, I am looking into its movements, its forms... I am looking with the eyes of its movement, not its forms... its movements are ","this is my thought. There is nothing that can be said about it; there is only a form of thinking. In thinking the form of this thought has already bec","now you have got me in a state where I am not sure, I am not certain, and I am not in a position of being sure. And so, in a certain sense, the thing","I am sitting here, and my attention is focused on my hands. The fingers on my right hand are more sensitive to my attention. The attention is now on m","I'm not really thinking about anything at all. I am feeling in my body the heaviness of my head. I have the sensation of a closed fist in my hand and ","the only thing you can do with this body is to be aware. If you are aware, then you are not aware, if you are aware of your awareness, then you forget","you know, you know that this is a problem that has a solution, that this is the problem that has the solution. You know that the problem is a solution","it's really hard to say what it is, it's a form of suffering, something that is suffering and it's a very strange form of suffering in that it's not a","and the door of my consciousness is open. It is a very strange experience. I know that I am the self, I know that consciousness is the self, and yet I","I want to see the future. I want to experience it. I want to understand it. I think I want to become one with it. I can't. I want the future to happen","a small light came on inside and I saw a black hole, which is a real black hole, a void, an abyss, the absolute nothing. It's a hole, it's an opening ","... the earth, I know I'm on it, I know it is real, because it is supporting me and I am here. The earth, I am on it, it supports me, I"],["and that's it, and that's good. Now, this is the bad part, is it not? Now, let's see, let's, oh, let's get this straight: I","and I see this guy here. He's got a little bit of a mustache and a little bit a beard, and he's wearing this tunic, and he has these little fringes on","and if it is, we'll be fine, and we'll be good people and we'll make a good world and it will be good. So, we're going to have to have a lot","[t]hat's why it's so hard to say no. It's like, there's nothing you can do, but you can still say no. Like, that's what you're supposed","and I am afraid because I'm afraid of people. I can't talk to people, I feel like they're going to go in the wrong direction and I don't want to say t","it's a small world...sometimes I see that some people I know I really need...I need to talk to them, so I say 'Hi! Hello!'...I'm very quiet and I","I'm going to talk about the relationship between the human and the animal, the human and nature. How this is all related to the way we live, the way w","the word 'eagerly' (tapping fingers) is something I like to use in my writing. 'Eagerly' is like... (chuckles) what I like to be called","the problem is that there's an idea that I'm supposed to think of in terms of this kind of, I don't know, this is a little difficult. It's a little di","the fact that you're looking at me, right now, in the room with me, and I can see your face. But the fact that you are looking at me is a function of ","you can see that I'm getting lost in a lot of things and you don't even know if it's you're getting lost or not, you know, or the other way around... ","I was having a problem here. I was having a very complicated problem and I couldn't do it. I didn't understand how to do it. Then, if I try to make a ","if I could take it out of this whole thing and make it more accessible for some of the people who are really interested in this question, then I think","Now I am thinking of all the problems with this system. I have to go over that, what was the first problem with the system that we have to go over, wh","that's my way of getting it to my memory, is to try to keep it in my memory by thinking it over and thinking it over. I mean, I can see it as an algeb","we are talking about a good thing. It's not a good thing until it is completely finished. So, what's the relation of a thing to time? A thing, whateve","now I'm thinking, 'what is it that makes me happy' ? I'm thinking of happiness. I think that happiness is a very general notion and that it is somethi","and, in addition, that, as a result of the new and better ways of doing things, the efficiency of the process of manufacturing a given article is impr","[the] value of the knowledge...as a result of the application of...some of the...theoretical methods...the whole question of...the use of knowledge in","I've been sitting here thinking about the history of philosophy for the past few hours. And I've been thinking about what it is that the philosopher d","that's the point of view in the subject of the analysis, in the subject, and what is the relation, and so on, I am now looking at the question, that i","the moon is very distant and it is so luminous and it is also very bright but the moon is also very very small, I have to go very very far to see it b","I think I know the answer to the question, I just have to remember it. I have a certain knowledge in my head, but I have to remember what it is. So, w","the more we have, the more we need. And the less we have, the less we need. But, on the other hand, if we have less, we know we have less. So","so I have this, um, I've had this experience of going through a piece of paper, and then in my mind's eye I see the paper, I see the edges, I see what","the whole of my life was to do with my relationship with people. I was not very good at it, and it's only now, 40 years later, that I am beginning to ","and that's why, if the left side is for the rational, analytical, thinking side, the right side is for feelings, for intuitive, non-analytical, emotio","I'm thinking about my own thought process, and I think it's a very interesting, and very complex and not so well understood phenomenon. But I think it","my thoughts are like a series of pictures and the pictures are made up of a sequence of frames. And each one of those frames is either a word or an im","you're saying that the act of thinking in language is a fundamental part of the mechanism that enables the brain to model the world, and that the use ","I think this is going to be a problem, I think this may be a problem in terms of the way in which I am looking at it. I think this can be viewed as a ","the other thing I've been thinking about is that I'm really interested in how do you evaluate the efficacy of different kinds of interventions. I'm no","we want to do a study in the classroom, in a school, where we're trying to design a curriculum, and we have an experimental group, and we're going to ","It's interesting that we have a brain that's constantly talking about itself. It's interesting because the brain is the thing that we're studying. It'","I think we need to be careful with the concept of 'context' and 'environment' in this kind of system. A lot of what we think of as context is just the","I'm trying to think of a good metaphor for the relationship between consciousness and the brain. One that's useful in a cognitive science context. Som","I see the water here, the water is just being represented, the water here is the water here. The water here is just a representation of the water, but","I know the work of the subconscious and that's why we are always asking for the work of that which is unconscious, it's like that, like if we say that","I'm writing a book on how to use technology to create value. The first chapter is about the importance of the technology of thinking and the technolog","I want to go to a place that's very well known for the presence of what they call 'spiritual energies' and 'energy fields' that are generated by the p","and then you could really get into a deeper understanding of how you could do something like this, and then I'm going to leave you to go and do that y","and then I think it's not just the body, I think that it's not a purely physical phenomenon. Because it's very, very difficult to explain the concept ","the whole thing was that...it was...the thing is that the whole thing, it was...I think it's important to differentiate that...the whole thing, that's","what would it be like to go into the space between the waves? What would it feel like? Would it be like nothing at all, or would there still be this b","the eye, the visual field. What does it mean, to see? What is the relation between the visual field and consciousness, the experience of being aware o","I was thinking about some of the things that came up in the session. I think in particular I was thinking a bit about the idea that the thought proces","I have a lot of images of myself from the past, and I have images of myself in the future, which are not very consistent with the way I see myself as ","I have an interesting relationship with time. I'm aware of time as the passing of an event. I'm not aware of the passing of time. When I think about t","this is very strange ... I don't have any words for the experience that I'm having. I'm sensing it as a very dense state of consciousness ... that it'","I'm not thinking anything new. It's a moment of calm, a moment of emptiness. Nothing is happening, I just think that there's nothing happening. I'm no","and this is why I'm saying that what is going on now is the same as it was at the beginning of the session. And if it's the same, it means that it's j","I am in a forest. I can hear a bird singing, and I am hearing a kind of dream-like thought. I am in a place of peace and stillness. I feel a warmth in","and it is a matter of faith and a matter of belief. It is a matter of being in the moment. It is not a matter of the intellect or the understanding or","and then I feel, oh, my God, I feel such an intense longing for union with God that I cannot take it. It's so wonderful. It's such a delicious experie","And I know that I have no freedom, I have no ability to change the course of my life and I have no power to change the circumstances that are around m","[I am] looking at the tree and the wind is blowing. It's like I'm just looking at a tree and there's nothing. It's just a tree and I'm standing there ","I am the way and I am the truth and I am the life and I am the being and I am being, the I am, the self. I am the body and I am spirit,","and my own work and the world is always moving. And I'm always moving, but the world moves too, and you're moving, too. So that you never stop, and it","I know what a human being is, but I don't know how it works. It's a very, very big question and I don't have any answers. I think we can have the illu","I'm starting to get the impression that I'm not really here, that I'm actually floating in this space. So I'm not here in a sense, I'm not there, and ","And if I didn't, then I wouldn't have been able to see it. And then if I didnโ€™t see it, then I couldn't be able to move. But when I could see","I'm on this bus, and I'm getting closer to the end of the line. The bus is on a train. The bus has an infinite amount of energy. I'm going to touch th","I wonder what I am thinking about now. What do I mean by 'now'? I mean now in this moment of the recording. But when do I start thinking, when do I en","it's like a tape of everything you have done that's not on purpose. All the things that happened to you, all the things that you're not really aware o","what's wrong with me? I don't know, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with everyone? I don't understand. You say, 'I feel what I feel because I'm","this is what I feel is the problem of the world. If the mind has no fear, then it is completely passive. But the mind has fear, and so it is very acti","And, you know, you know you can't see what you don't want to see. And the light, of course, is a symbol. And the body is a symbol, and it's","now we are all in the same mind. And so if we want to do something we can all do it. We all have one thought in common, and it's in us all. So then","this is what I feel now, and this is what I don't feel, this is what is my own truth, this is my own being. It is this feeling, and this feeling is me","the same thing which has happened, we have been experiencing, is happening again. You can see that. And that is happening in you now. And we can all o","The mind is in its essence a luminosity, a fullness. The mind is not an entity, it is not a thing, it is a luminous fullness. It is luminous,","this is an important moment in this process of self-realization, for instance, when I realize that I have forgotten something, that I have lost the me","the memory of a memory. Of an image in the mind of my father. He was a very strange man. He was very intense, very abstract, and in a certain sense he","I have this idea. This idea is that there is a certain sort of energy which is so pure that it can be called a vacuum and which has a certain sort of ","and, on the other hand, when one takes into account that the body is a dynamic whole, that is, the body has an active function in its own right, and w","I would like to speak about the use of the unconscious in the development of consciousness. This is my main point. The unconscious is the starting poi","I am saying my name, and my name is that I am. I am saying this name, this word, this sign. I am also saying the word. I am the sound. I am","I will talk about what I am thinking now, about what comes to mind as I try to be conscious of what I am doing. So it's a question of being in conscio","and this is what I am here to do. This is my life's task. I have to make sure that I can live from this, from this, so that I can be one with the","I am a mind. I am a living being, which I am. I am thinking of being, or a living being that thinks. This is not a fact. I am not the fact of","what is the mind? what is the soul? the soul? what is a human? what is death? what is time? what is eternity? what is this world? what is consciousnes","what do I need, what do I need? I need to be in the present moment, and I need to not be in the future, so I am the present moment. And so I don","I don't know how it works. I know it's here, but it's very hard to know how it is. I know there are all these things inside my head, but they're all","a lot of the time it's an emotional experience that is triggered by a stimulus or some kind of situation, but a lot of the time we have a feeling that","I feel this energy, this current, it comes into me and itโ€™s in a constant flow. I feel the flow of this energy. I feel I have a connection with someth","I don't understand where I am, but I feel that there is a place where I belong. There is no sense of movement. I feel that I belong in this place and ","I want to be a teacher. That is the reason I want to do this research. I am going to be a psychologist. And I want to have the same experience in this","[I]n my life, I have an image of what I do, of what I should be doing, what I am doing, but this does not mean that I am doing these things.","The self, the ego, and the brain... I'm sure that the brain is, on some level, just the self's way of dealing with information. The self is not, in th","I see the universe as the result of a kind of self-organization or self-creation. There are things which have their own tendency to self-organization,","and, well, I'm thinking, in a sense, I'm a poet, I'm an artist, I'm engaged in creative work, I'm creative. And yet, I'm not,","I am not. I am in a body. And I am a body that is in a universe. And I have some thoughts and perceptions. And I'm thinking about all this, and the un","I'm listening to this, and it's coming from somewhere else, and I don't know who or what is sending the thought and is experiencing it. So what happen","now I am thinking about the words of this sentence and how they are put together and how the meaning of the sentence changes depending on which word I","the thing I want to say about it is it seems to me that in the mind it has been reduced to a point of view and so the mind can then be in a state wher","[I am] looking at the pattern of the mind. I don't know if this is really true. It's only an illusion. Maybe it's just the fact that I have a body tha","I see a path with a sign on the side. ... It is like a trail in the middle of a forest. It is the only path. ... The sign is a circle with a number in","And I'm not sure of the correct direction. I could start to say a sentence, or a sentence of a paragraph, and I'm not quite sure of where I am. I coul","And that is the moment at which my consciousness comes into the space. And when it does, it is not just a point on the body but a point on an entire u","Now I'm going to tell you about my life and my existence in this world. And I'm going to do this without any words. I'm going to do it with images. I'","... ... ... ... a sense of what we could be. So there's a sense of possibility, there's a sense that we are in this process of becoming. But then ther","It's kind of like the idea of a map is that you're using it to go from A to B and you're not just sitting around and looking at the map. You're using ","I'm just going to talk about the things that I'm going to say to people, because that's the thing that I'm interested in, and then I'm just not going ","I think I could have been born to a different parent than my parents are, and that would be a different person, and that different person would be me,","now I have to make a decision about whether to start thinking about this or not. I don't want to lose myself in a big pile of thoughts. So, let me get","the number of ways of making sense of this is not as many as it might seem... It is a kind of algebraic thinking, a kind of arithmetic thinking... It ","I think about things like, like if I'm a person, I think about myself in the past and the present and the future. So, there is an ongoing flow of expe","this is a self-referential sentence. So I am not thinking of an object that I know that I am thinking of. It's about what I'm thinking about, so it's ","and the big question is, why is the world as it is. ...why is it so much what it is? ...Why are there some of these fundamental axioms of our reality?","I'm in the middle of a conversation, and I have a feeling about something. I'm thinking about my position and the relationship I have with someone els","I have a bad dream, that I can't be who I want to be. That I can't act how I want to act. And I can't make my plans. And I don't","it's all part of the universe. It's all a game, so if we think we're the creators, then we are. So it's an illusion of free will. And if you know","[there] is the sensation of being in a small room with a black curtain, and there is the sensation that you are not looking at the outside world, but ","And it's almost like the real world is just this other dimension that is somehow coexisting with our consciousness and our understanding, that somehow","I see that you are still in the present moment, right? You can only be here, right now. You're not going back or going forward, right? But in this sta","And so that is what I want to do. I want to use this space to try to understand the nature of consciousness, and to try to discover what makes the min","[A] lot of times it's [thought] is kind of a random process of firing in the brain. When you do an exercise like this you can really see how the brain","I see a whole bunch of people that look like a bunch of people and I see the face of somebody I know. I see them and I start thinking of the other peo","And then this guy who was in a meeting with the guy who wrote the book. He wrote it in 1960, 1970. This guy who wrote it, the","I'm thinking of how much I learned from the movie The Godfather, about the structure of a movie, the way in which one makes a movie, and this is kind ","and that was the first time I realized that there are these other things. You're not just thinking. You're also doing. And doing is a very physical, v","now I have an interesting idea of how I think...I am thinking about the concept of time, how do I think about the concept...time? Well, I don't know, ","it is interesting how these are the thoughts that you are able to control, and then they are being put into a pattern. What we are really seeing is th","And I'm also thinking about the problem of the present that I was talking about, the problem of change, how change is always a process. You never chan","And, I can see a connection between what I'm going through and my unconscious, in that, what I'm doing, is an unconscious process. So, I'm trying to m","the word 'change', this is something that is not really there, you know? ... This is the way, and the way is that everything is changing, and you can ","a new insight. It's the same insight. But a little more, more subtle, more rich. It's a little more. It's richer now. It's an insight that it's an","that's like a self-simulation in the sense that you are simulating a process. For example, you have a thought of: 'I will start working on this proble","I'm trying to say that I've been sitting here. I have been trying to think about the things that are important, and I want to clarify that what I've b","the whole thing was about a system that was created by a particular form of perception, and that perception was a system of perception which was a par","(I wonder if...) is the beginning of a thought. If you don't want to know anything about it, if it's a question or it's a request, if it is something ","I think that that is, I'm not sure, that's the second level of this. Because what happens when we have, you know, when we have an experience that's, t","I'm here at the office, I'm working, and I'm trying to stay in the present, I'm trying not to think about things in the future that I might want to ha","the only way that I can imagine that you can be so sure about the accuracy of something like this is if you are talking to someone who is really, real","I feel as though I have just been told the answer to a question I'm not sure I understand. I don't understand the answer because the answer is too vag","this is just the question, what is the difference between the truth and the meaning of a statement, or of an experience? And the answer would be that,","So, the essence is, and I'm not sure where this is coming from, I have to try it. I'm not even sure what is happening in my head. And I have to experi","I've been trying to think of some way to describe the function of thought. One thought is that it's a kind of...the sort of...a kind of...a...it's a k","my eyes, my body and my senses, the whole of my body, including my muscles, is being reorganized according to my experience. The brain, the central ne","I was reading about a recent study in which 10 people were placed in a state of spontaneous thought and asked to think of their deepest fear. The rese","[The participant] sees the problem in two different ways. The first one is that the problem has a well-defined solution. The other one is that there's","[I]s it possible for us to be able to move into a state of mind that is a very strong state of consciousness, or a very strong form of intelligence, a","I am thinking of all of the people that I have been in contact with that are in contact with this network. And what I would like to do is to get into ","[the person is] not really present. [They] are present at different times in the body, in different areas of the body, and that's why they can feel it","this is something I have not thought of in years, that I was in a situation where I was trying to figure out what is the nature of the state of consci","it's very strange to do this, to be conscious of what's going on inside my brain. It's as though I could have a window into my brain. There are two st","[M]y father is not an optimist. And I am not. And that's a very important factor in this, because he doesn't believe in the value of human beings as h","the world is the world of consciousness. But it's the world of conscious experience, because the world of objective reality does not exist in the firs","there is this question of a unity of consciousness, which is, in a way, the unity of the world, of the world being one, and the world being divided, a","I'm a computer scientist, so I am always looking at a problem, and I say, 'If I look at it this way, I can solve the problem.' So when I am trying to","and now I am here in this place and now I have an experience of the world. Now I am aware that I can be here or there in space. Now I can be aware tha","and I'm wondering what I'm doing. I'm just wondering, and the result of the wonder is a sense of my being in a state of wonderment, of being in wonder","what's this? What's this? I just saw something. I just saw it. What was it? I don't know what it was. But it was something. It was something, and","Now I know that I know that everything that I think is a thought, is something that I don't know. Everything that I think I know is something that I a","I can see... It's... it's... it is a question of... a question of a problem of the mind. ... the problem is... I see a... it's a problem that...","now I am thinking that, of course, there is a difference between thought and awareness, and I am thinking, that if I try to be aware of this differenc","my consciousness is so fragile, so unstable, so fragile. That's why I'm looking for a way to make it stronger. And that's why I want to find a method ","And I'm going to go on to the next subject and this is the subject of my next question, which is, how am I related to the universe, and is this relati","I want to find a way to create a word, to have a word, a word that is not a word in the normal sense of the word, a concept of a word, that has meanin","and the whole world is made of the same kind of substance, which is nothing and which is everything. And the whole world is just the same, which is no","there's this, this idea of a certain, certain being, a certain entity, the idea of being as an entity, the, the idea that this is a being, that, that ","the (imaginary) situation, or rather the (imagined) situation, I mean, what is it that I am like? I mean, if I am like, I am like my own","I'm having a dream where I am a little girl who is wandering in the world, and the world is full of different things: it is like a big store. And I am","I feel the desire to see this. This desire is a will. It is the will, to see. To see means to become aware, to see is to have a perception of reality.","[T]he question is what is it like to be a mind in time, or a body in space. These are not things in space-time. They are things that are constituted b","Now I see a dark and frightening world, and it has always been this way. There is no escape from it. I am completely and irrevocably in it. It is my n","my body is a machine, a machine that I cannot control. There is no possibility of changing the machine itself, because I have no idea how it functions","a small red, round ball. No, not round, but almost round. A ball that is about to explode into a new space and time. There is a sort of moment between","and then a bit of the right side is moving out. It's a bit of my body that's moving out. And my body is moving. It is moving into a state of more, or","[S]till I'm thinking that there's some sense in which the physical universe is a human creation. In some sense, the laws of physics are a human constr","and it's like the particles of light, which, according to Einstein's theory, are just a wave, and the wave is just the particle, and the particle is j","... ... ... ... (pause, and the same words, but now with a different intonation) ... ... ... ... ....... (the same words, intonation changes again, an","the picture in the head of a child as he sleeps, a picture in the mind of a child, which is not just a picture. A child has a mind, it is a child, it","the old man said to the young man: I will show you a mirror, and then you will be able to see yourself. So the young man saw the image of himself in t","it seems like there is some kind of illusion here. And the reason for this illusion is that you have the sensation of light and your mind does not kno","the human world is like a very complex computer with lots of components, the interactions between which are complex and often unexplained, and in many","so they want to make you into a puppet, so that the puppet will obey all the laws of the puppet master. But there is no reason why there should be no ","it's very difficult for me to stop my thoughts. I've tried for years. It's very difficult to do. If I stop trying to stop the thoughts, then they don'","a...a...a thought that arises as a sort of sensation, I don't know what it is...a thought, it appears to me, as a sensation of light...I don't know","(he hears the word) 'fire' - it's the sound of a bell. It's a bell that was rung in the beginning of the world - the big fire of the universe,","there's a man standing here, there's a woman, they are like the old man, like the old woman, they're the same as the old man and the old woman. There'","now I am in the darkness, and I see the moon, and the moon is a perfect sphere, and the sun is a perfect disc. The moon and the sun are each composed ","and he [God] would be, of course, the same, but with the addition of the term, which was a number, and that was the term of the absolute. The absolute","in the time that is, and not in the time of the mind, but in the time that I am in, in the time which is here, and is the whole time that is here.","you're here and you're here. And what is it that you are? You are your thoughts, and your thoughts are here and your thoughts are not here. They come ","the infinite number of paths which one can take from a particular point in a three dimensional space to some other point in a particular three dimensi","I am trying to say something. I am trying to make an image. I have some mental image of the shape of my own body and I want to try to describe that im","and you are still trying to find a way to think of the object, the body of the object and to know how to think about it, and how to relate to it, in o","and now it is dark. And now it is night, the light has been replaced by the darkness, and I am the darkness. Now it is dark, it is not night, it is da","the air is getting very dense, but I can still see my hands in front of my face. I can also feel my hands on my body and this is an experience for me ","you see that in the center, I can see, this little figure, and that it seems to be connected with some kind of light, and that light seems to be chang","we'll make our first stop at a place called the Crystal Labyrinth, which we'll reach by crossing a narrow, narrow passage. On the other side, we'll ha","and I am standing there in front of this massive column, and I am looking down the long dark corridor of the gallery, and I know that I must go throug","I don't know what it is that makes a thought think. I don't mean the thought of a thought, or the thought of thinking, but the thought itself. I don't","but if you were to do that, you'd be saying that the object itself is not present. What is present is its absence. So it is the object's own disappear","the night is deep and still, and I am a little frightened to be alone in my house at night. I see it is empty, but it is full of thought and sound. I ","I am alone on this earth. I am a stranger on earth. I see the sun, the earth, and I know they exist, and I am in the universe. I do not know what","I have this feeling of a great strength that I have within me and this is a strength that is not only physical but mental, it's a strength that comes ","I can't keep from thinking that you're dead, I've got to be with you, and that's a good thing, I must be with you; I can't keep from that, but","a certain state of consciousness is essential for it all to work out. That state, as I understand it, is called trance. It's the state of mind one exp","I have to put it in front of my face, but it's not yet fully materialized. I see a beam, but it's just a beam in the sky; it's not materialized","the last thought of this thing I have to do is to think of my soul. You know, to have a soul and to have a body is very important. To have a body and ","[I]t is a law of the universe to be eternal...the laws of nature are eternal laws, which is to say the laws of nature which are eternal laws are not s","the world is made of chaos, but this chaos is the matrix of a system, which is the world. The world is composed of chaos, chaos is the essence of the ","... ... ... ... And then this idea came. The idea of an empty, empty circle. The emptiness of that circle, the emptiness of nothing. The emptiness is ","now this is the third thing that we need, the third dimension to the third dimension, and so I'm not sure that there's a fourth dimension. I'm not sur","I am sitting, and my head is full of thoughts that go into and out of my mind. I see myself in the center of this room, but it doesn't seem real. I am","and it's not just a person, it's all these things together. And the thing is it doesn't make any sense, but then there are times when it does. I'm not","I remember that when you were saying that you had to do it right, like, I thought I was doing it right, and I felt a kind of pleasure, and I thought t","there was a silence and there was the silence in the silence, but not the silence of the silence in itself. And then a moment of the lightness, the we","The most beautiful place on earth, where the light and the sky are one. This place, the place of the soul, the place where everything is perfect, wher","you do not want to know the name of this man? I don't know either. I'm looking for a name to call him but it's hard, it's very hard to name him.","the morning, the sun came out in the sky, and the stars in the sky disappeared, the evening came out, and the night came out and the day disappeared a","I have the feeling that I'm not alone, and yet I can't say who is it, although I know that it is not any one of the objects around me. I'm not the cen","what is the point of it? I want to understand it... how is this to be understood?... I have an idea: It is like a book with pages, which turn at the m","and suddenly I see that the whole world is made out of small spheres, and the world is the sum of all these spheres, but each of these spheres is infi","now the universe is a great ocean, a great space that contains the earth and everything in it. This earth is just like a small piece of wood floating ","a child of mine was born with a name, and this name was the name of the god who was the lord of the stars. In a day I could have known of this name, I","now the tree, the tree with its long branches and its beautiful green leaves, is a source of life, and I can hear the life within its roots, and I am ","there's this little room in the woods. It's like a tiny, tiny room, just as big as a little girl's room, and it's full of little things that were gath","I saw the sound waves and they were just a sort of fluid. I saw them and I saw the sun and the moon. I saw the moon and the stars and the sun. And the","and I think I've got my finger in this one. Now, the more you do, the less you feel. You become less and less of yourself and more and more of a wave ","The wall of the universe. And there, the space where we stand. The wall of the cosmos, the wall of the worlds, the wall separating us from the others.","it's like a shadow that I think about all the time. The shadow's like a real, you know, a real, a real shadow. And that's what I think about, so often","the past and the future were all one thing. Everything had happened already, and would not change. The past had existed and still did. It was everythi","and I know that I know nothing. And I don't know what I know, nor know who I am, nor am I in time nor in space. I know that this is all a dream","and now we are all together and the world has become an immense mirror and I have come to myself. This is not a thought, but rather a perception. I do","and as if by a natural impulse, as if by an instinctive knowledge I became aware of myself and my surroundings. In this new state of consciousness my ","this is a long, long time since I've been like this. I can't remember, I have to think about it to find out. It's like a dream. But a dream with a","the more I think about it, the more I am aware of how meaningless life is. Life, death, nothing. And this is the end of everything. Nothing. This is t","and I know that the body has an invisible, incorporeal existence, and that this is the one true existence. This is the one existence of the soul. Ther","but the human mind has been set up by a principle of selection in the sense that, for example, certain ideas will appear and others will not, and in t","now you see a field of white light, like a big mirror. The mirror is so bright that it is as if it was lit from inside, from within it. And it reflect","and the air is cold. The earth is cold. And there are stars. And the air and the earth and the stars. They are all cold. And the stars are cold and th","I'm feeling a sort of relief, like the weight is off, I've got more room inside me, and the weight I was carrying is gone. It's just a little bit ligh","I feel this pressure, a little bit like what you would feel if you were to hold in a very thin thread, as it is very strong, but at the same time very","now it's not a problem anymore, I can see everything, I can feel everything, I am aware of the world, I am in the world, the world is me and I am the ","and that's a part of the truth, which is not yet complete. I know that. But this is a kind of state that I experience in my life. That is the state of","(pause) This is what happens when we think, or rather, what happens when thought passes through us, because it is not us that thinks, but thought that","what is it, the thing that's going on, that's happening? How is it happening? I don't know, I don't understand it. It's there and it's there and it","I see the same thing from every point of view. I'm trying to understand it. I think the way it works is that I am constantly in this state of being a ","[In] the next world [I] will be a great general... [and] will be leading all the other people to do wonderful things. But when I'm in that state, ther","a dream. I was in my dream and my body was moving like I'm flying in the air and there is a moment, an instant, that I realize that I'm in my dream. A","and all the matter that was in it, and the light that was in it and the energy that was in the light was just kind of pulled from its own source and s","a lot of things are happening. A lot of things come to me, but it doesn't happen that they will stay for long, and it will be a little more difficult ","I am the Universe. I am the Universe... and it is all so very simple. This is the most complex thing I have ever known, which is very simple and very ","you know you are not what you are, you are the content that passes in you. In you the content of consciousness is not what it is, it is something othe","my thought is to start over again, to go back to the beginning, to start to live again from the beginning. The beginning is the beginning, there is no","I'm going to a place where there are no boundaries. I'm going beyond all my limitations. I'm in a place where no time exists. No time, no space. I am ","what a wonder. It is not the past, but only an appearance of the past, and what is real is only the present. When I have thought I have had the past, ","my own mind, my own existence, my own experience, is one thing, and it is not so different from the entire universe, and therefore also it is not diff","[T]hings that are being known here are always changing and in this change and this becoming it is the constant experience of the self. In this becomin","[a] thought in the middle of a thought. What is this thing that's moving? I don't know what this thing is. It's not my body, it's not my soul,","and then I was in the land of dreams, and I was flying in the air, and the air was full of sounds, and it was very warm and full of sounds and I could","the little children that I met in the night... the children that I saw in the night in the vision, as I was going into my dream... I remember I was go","the green fields of the garden. This is the garden of the world. This is a great garden that covers the whole of existence and which is illuminated by","and then a little bit later I get to thinking that the little light there on the right side of the moon is the sun, and a little light there is the su","a man on the moon... he is the center of the earth, and I am the center of the moon... my soul is a circle, it has no center... a white cloud... it is","this is the same as when you have an idea that comes into your mind, but you have no words for it, and you try to say it out loud. There is a moment o","the thought of the world's vastness. The thought that in the great expanse of time, and the vast expanse of space, this small ball of rock that is the","and there you are, that's why we are here, the question was whether there is any law of consciousness which would be applicable to everything in this ","It's a very odd thing. The body is the basis of consciousness; and yet the body is not. The body has no value in itself. You must pass through it in o","a few years back a man was brought to the hospital with a serious infection in his brain and in his liver. I suppose his brain was in the midst of try","the man who is walking down the street, and then it's the man who walks down the street that walks down the street. Now, the man who does that, the ma","I would like to write, to create, to see things, to see myself, to see my body, my body as I see it in the mirror. But in my mind I can't,","and the sound is like a note, and it's a sound, and then it goes on to the next note, and then the next note and so on, and then we can hear it like","And in this case it's the mind, it's the will, that's the self, that's you. And it's the spirit. So I'm just the vessel of this and this is","a sound that has no material substance, which is the sound of the heart, of the pulse, of the breathing. If I hear it in my ear, and if I say that, it","the 'I' and the world of experiences of the 'I' are not in any sense a separate, distinct and separate entity, but are identical, in that they are in ","and now, this is a question to myself that is still not answered and I find that it is not the question to myself. It is the question to the universe,","and we can't stop these thoughts, so we're left to be aware of the thoughts of all the things, the thoughts of things that are in the world and in the","I know. The child is very young. We don't know what the child wants. There is no ego. This is the first time for the child to feel what it is. In the ","you have to be in a very quiet state of mind, just as if you were trying to hear your own thoughts as clearly as possible. I must say that I can't hel","And the woman who is my wife, and I don't know if I want her to know I'm saying it. But I know I can't not love her, because she is part of me","and I remember it as I remember all memories. And there is the present, which is the only one that can be real, since I am always in it. I remember my","And you must do the same, the same. The same. That's right, it's a bit hard to express the same, but it's not as hard as the same. Yes, it","there is a very nice painting called 'The Two Fridas'. There are two Fridas. The one on the left has a heart on its right breast. It's open, and the h","the earth is a small sphere in the sky, and the sphere is of the same shape as the sun; in other words, the earth is a sun and it is the sun which mak","I know I am in my room, I am sitting on the bed, I am in the body of the room, but there is no more the room, and there is the room and there is","And here's a thought. This is something which is difficult to put into words. If we don't want to be limited by language, how can we use language if w","what is this? It's like a black box. This is what is being captured by the black box, but in fact what is being recorded is the mind. There is a black","what if a single entity is the result of the interaction of the world and the observer, a world as the observer perceives it. This is a consequence of","I'm thinking of the game, where we are trying to reach the goal. It's like the game of chess. You are trying to understand the goal of the game. It's ","I have been thinking of you, and I am aware of a certain time of day when you have been thinking me. And I am aware that you are now in a place that i","(pause) ... this is the universe. There's nothing else out there but this universe. It's a very simple universe. It consists of one single entity, the","and you have a very high quality. That is something I have always felt. I feel that the word 'you' in general is a high-quality word. And all words in","this is the essence, the thing. The essence is the thing. And the thing is the essence. And the essence is the essence of the thing, of the essence, o","The sun is yellow. A circle has a center. I am the sun. I am a circle. The center of a circle is a circle. A circle is a line. The line is a","there is a bit of a joke that the world is a flat circle, that is, it has an edge. ... Then you can use the world to move your body to a different pla","I am looking at the night. The night is very, very light. There is a brightness in the night, so I see a star in the night. I see a diamond. I see it","it was just like that, and this was a little bit further than it, but it is still on this way, this is a little bit closer, but this is also only a li","it is like this that the human being exists in time, in the present moment and in the present instant and it is not only the present, but also the fut","a field of light, or something like that, a field, and it is the beginning of everything. That's it. It's a field of light which is everywhere and now","that it's like this. I am very tired and it's very dark. I am just looking for the light. I can't find it. I have to search for it. But I can","and there's this whole idea of being in a situation, a situation in which I have the same space of time and I have this space of time where I'm inside","a whole, a whole, a space, a whole. Space is the whole. A whole is a whole. A space is a whole... a space is a space... a space is space.","what happens when a person dies, what happens to the body? Do the particles that make up the body go elsewhere? Are they still in the body? If the bod","the small island. We are on a small island, we are on a large island. I think the world is a small island and a large island, and the world is not a s","and I have a problem with the fact that there are no points on the space-time continuum... I mean, if you had a point on the space time continuum, tha","I see a tree, it's a pine tree, a conifer, I think, it's got needles, I see the needles, and the pine tree, I see pine trees and needles,","the sounds of the trees in the forest, in the spring, on the river. They sound as if they were coming from a great distance, like echoes. And the tree","the thing I can remember, the first thing I remember was a piece of string being wound around an upright piano, and I can remember the music. It was a","and I see that the ship is still there, but I can't see what it is. I think that it's a starship. But it's just a ship. I can't get the","this is my little 'g' for 'grace', which is the first letter of my name, which I am about to give. ... I am about to name the name of my mother,","And that is where the force is applied to the blade. This is the point where the blade is most stable. And we find that we can place the blade in any ","and it's a time in a sense that's sort of like a place in a sense. I mean, you're in space and time and they're not quite the same, they're sort of","now I can't remember the word. I can remember the word, the sound of the word, but not the word itself, and I'm having an odd sensation. ... It seems ","what is the origin of the name of the river? I don't know. It's not in the dictionary. And I can't find it out, but it may be, because if I go","It is an abstract point of view, but it is not an objective point of view. The object, which we have called, 'The Subject,' is a part of the subject. ","and we would find a place, a place of sorts, and we would do this and that. Then a time would come when the universe would be taken away and we would ","and then there is a noise in the house, which I'm not quite sure what it is, but I'm going to say that it's a sound of movement and is associated with","a voice saying 'No'. No! No! No! And suddenly I'm in a dark, mysterious place, which I cannot see. There are walls and a roof and a floor, which I","The square is in front of me. There is a little light in the middle of it. It is a sort of light of a transparent substance. It is not white but has a","you don't need a system, you are a system, but you need a system of systems. All the different kinds of systems, all the different kinds, the kinds of","And we see that we are not seeing things from a distance, but rather from a point of view. If you think of a point of light, a point of focus, or an e","I have this idea... about a circle, and the circle has an infinite number of points in it. So you could say it's a continuous function, if you look at","you can also take a piece of string and put it on the surface. If the surface is curved and you have a string that is inelastic, the string will follo","I want to add that in the book the language is written down on paper. And this is a computer. And this computer, for example, is made of wood and plas","The triangle of the square is equal to the sum of the three of the circle. The circle of the square equals to the sum of three of the triangle. The su","and it's 4.19 pm, 19/4/92. The thought, the word '4' comes up as a sign of something, a sort of 'signature","I'm not thinking. I'm just sitting here. I am thinking of the way that if you take a certain kind of sphere, a sphere of light, a sphere that you can ","this is the last time. So the time of the day will be 13 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds, that is the last possible time, because, and the last time","there are those things that we call space and time and all of the things that we are used to thinking of, which is how we perceive reality, and so on.","And now it's time to get to sleep, and it's like this: I don't know whether there is sleep. If you want to, you can go back and forth from wakefulness","the speed of light. ...the speed of sound, which is about 343 meters per second, so I guess in terms of a function, it's a 344 meter wave","well, so I think that's kind of the first law of mechanics, and it's pretty obvious. Now the second law, it's a little less obvious, but it's the same","what are the square roots of 49? The square root of 49 is seven, the square root of negative 49, which I don't know. But I know what it","And if they're at rest, at rest, and in this case, what is rest? How long can an object remain at rest? Why must an object, in a physical sense, remai","that's how it is when you are not paying attention... that's a real interesting idea... the fact that this is how the human mind works and is, without","in my brain the image of a sphere appears, that I call a unit of measure. It's the only image that is created by the mind. I have a mental image that ","a line in the sky; I think it's a line; what is that line? How do I know it's a line? And if it is a line, how do I know that?","and that's why I was thinking I was thinking, and I think I was thinking about some things, but I can't see how the fact that I was thinking anything,","what is this world made of? Of molecules, right? Of atoms, right? So these atoms have energy, right? And energy has mass, right? Right? Right. And mas","I don't know where to start. I'm thinking of starting at the beginning. I'm imagining a black hole. I'm looking at it from a distance. I'm trying to f","and there was an infinite series of circles, and the sum of the areas of the circles was a finite number, so that there was a relationship between the","the size of a tree trunk... the thickness of a tree bark... the number of photons that go through the lens of an eye. And the eye is an optical device","I think I should think of what I want to do before I do anything. The way I think it is, if I have a goal, then I can follow that. If I'm not followin","... ... ... ... it was a very interesting time when we were born, when the earth was born, there were only electrons, protons, and neutrons. Then it b","the problem is that a person's thoughts are very much like a river; they flow from one point to another, and so it seems that the beginning and the en","I don't know, but I'm sure that this is not random, but a certain kind of system. And I think the reason why it looks so random is because I don't kno","(Sigh) The universe is infinite, (sigh) and it is infinite (sigh)... what does it mean to say that the universe is infinite? I mean, the universe is t","I'm wondering what's the relationship between the mind and the brain and how can I represent the mind in the brain in some way? ... Is the brain like ","and here it's like I'm in a different universe, and the universe is very, very large, very, very dense. It's like an atom, the universe itself. But in","I'm not going to be here, so that's a bad thing for you, and it's a good thing for me... well I'm here for the moment, so what does it mean?","what happens to the soul of a man? ...and the body?...I was asked yesterday by a friend, if the soul has a body? And my friend, who was not a philosop","and what about this, this, this is the thing which is the thing, the thing, I don't know, which is the basis of all existence. Oh, that's it, that's","The world is a black hole, and black holes are the greatest mystery in the universe. This is the same problem as that which exists for consciousness i","it's a good thing that you know that there are certain things that are not really true. Like, for example, the idea that there is some kind of a privi","so I don't think the world has ended yet. If it had, then there would be no one left to ponder, and then no one would be able to ponder that there is ","that's true, if you don't know what you're talking about, but you have a language that can describe everything, everything that is going on in the uni","so, so... the same things. [pause] No, I don't think that the same thing is happening. I don't know why I don't say that. Well, if I can","and then a person is like, I have to go to that state and experience that state in order to understand it. That's a little bit like when we're looking","I am not aware that there is any such thing as a particle. A particle is the term of a set of objects, a set of points, a set which is one dimensional","there's the... there's the idea of the... the idea of being and not being. This idea of being. And being is a condition, in which the notion of existe","I wonder if the whole idea of human thinking, of language, is a construct, an illusion that is created by the brain's trying to understand itself. But","the images are of some of the things that I've seen, and it's my mind's eye that I'm seeing, that's what I'm seeing as I'm seeing it. But, you","and it's a bit of a problem because I think if you were to analyse consciousness then you would be left with something which is more akin to an energy","and I don't know whether that's what I have to do in order to solve the problem, or what it's going to be. It's something I could only solve by solvin","I see the possibility of the possibility of a new, or even a different, kind of energy being able to create different kinds of realities and things, l","what am I saying? Oh! Oh! Well I was going to say that the brain is not an isolated system, it is a system which is in interaction with its environmen","and the things I say are just a summary of what I was doing at the moment. I was thinking, I was thinking about a tree and its leaves and how those le","I'm thinking about this, and then I'm thinking of something else, and then something else, but I'm still thinking of it. So, in this way, I am thinkin","but it's a bit of a problem because there's no way to test whether what's going on here is just a thought or a sensation that's a thought. In other wo","the truth of it is that, when you ask for something, there's always an 'I' at work that's going to ask for it. The more I become conscious of the natu","It's like being in a movie where you're the character, not the director. ... I can see myself, I can see the world from my own point of view. ... It's","the feeling of the air, that the air has a different density and viscosity at different temperatures... that it's just that it's a different medium, t","the machine was made up of three parts. One part was a piston, another part was a spring, the third part was a vacuum tube, the vacuum tube had a high","so then the next thing you'll do, you'll look at it and say, okay, I got to get the next stage going. Then what do I have to do? And then what do","I'm seeing a point on the screen, and I'm trying to focus on that point, and then I see this big thing on the screen and it's like a big spot and I se","I've seen a few of those, and that's what I remember, I don't have a sense of the time of the image. I think that's pretty standard, for me at least.","oh, you know, you're thinking about all of these different things, right? You know, like you're trying to sort of chunk together the different ways th","and I've done it in the past, I think, on several occasions. It's a kind of a memory test or something like that, where you have the object, in this c","this is a list of some of the things that were in my mind. This is just the beginning of the session. I just started, so it's still not clear what kin","I have to think about what you did in the previous session. I'm not sure what happened there. I think the next thing we should do is to, to, I think t","It's not that I can't do it, it's that I haven't done it yet, it's in the planning stage, it's just the way it's been for a long time.","and there was a huge number of things that were not going well in the world, and there was this huge number of people that were going through a lot of","it's a nice day. There's a lot of clouds. They're all white. I don't think it'll rain. Maybe it will. It's cloudy enough, it might rain. ...","the lights go on. It's the lights of the train station. And it's the lights from the train itself, which are on as it is moving. And this is not an ar","[a] small sphere that would fall and bounce around and be attached to some kind of an array that would take that [sphere] and move it around and use t","[A] little bit of my thoughts are starting to go in this way, [to] the right side of the room, the little bit of the room which has more blue than the","and I'll be able to see the different ... I was going to say, in front of me. But it's the different types of patterns, and I'll see these patterns th","And then I've done a lot of things in my career. I was a programmer, and then I was a hardware engineer, and I worked with the hardware of my own soft","... ... ... ... ... okay. Okay, it's a simple thing, so let's just talk about what is the most important thing. I think, that it's just a matter of ti","I was at the school, I think it was called, the school for deaf and dumb children, and I had to teach there, and they had a computer lab, and I was su","and when you think of the same thing and the same thing, it is the same thing. And if you think of it, you think of that, that's the thing, that's wha","... ... (laughs) Oh, right! It's a book! And I need to go to the library to read it. And I need an internet connection to download it, and I need to","the next day you are going to go to the store. The store is on the south side and the north side is the next one. The next one is going to be in the s","The person who was responsible for the experiment had his picture in his mind. It was a picture of a person with a very big nose. I have no idea where","I think there is something that is a bit like that. It's like this thing. There are some people that think about these things. They think about someth","and that's how we got to know her. That's how I got to know you. So we got to be friends. So that's what we did. We were friends for a long time","my mother is coming back, I haven't seen her for a year, my sister is coming back too, they're coming for a party on Saturday. So I'm thinking about m","So now you're really getting down to the details of how the things that you do on a regular basis can actually be useful for the things you want to do","I have some stuff at home, some stuff at work... I'm not sure if it's the same or different... but yeah... it's... it's a... it's a question of whethe","I mean the thing is the one that I'm using it for for for this thing. I'm like trying to figure out if I have a laptop or something like that. So I th","I have an idea I think of a program that I wrote a few months back, and it was about the 20th or 21st time I did this. I just said it","I don't think they're very good at it. It's not... they're not very good at this. What I want to say is... I'm going to talk about that, that's","I'm thinking about how I'm not using the word 'for' when I'm talking about the product and the customer, and I think that's because I'm thinking of it","my mind is a place where things that are stored in memory can be accessed and manipulated in different ways. So if I want to access a certain piece of","the most important thing I could tell you is that I can't tell you everything. It's not about just one thing. It's about one thing and then another th","I don't think I'm ready to go. I have to think of something that I can do on my own. I don't want to go to work. I want to stay at home."],["and so I'm thinking, maybe I'm just...you know, I think maybe I'm not so interested in it, you know?...maybe I'm not, you know, maybe I am","the reason why I don't have any kids is because I'm afraid. I don't want to be alone. And if I did have children, it would be like I would have to be ","the mother died when I was young. She was the only one. I just miss her, you know, but I miss her even more than my father, because he was always arou","you know you don't want to tell me your thoughts. And I don't want to hear them. That's what I think. You don't want me to hear them because you don't","I know. I've thought about it before, and I couldn't find anything, except that I'm a bad person, I'm not that kind of person. ...I'm a good person,","and then I thought about how, when I was in high school, I had this friend who was going to be my best friend for the rest of my life, and he was just","and then the thought comes and it's just there and it's like a little spark. And that's why I really like to write. I like writing. Because when I'm w","and the boy in the movie. That's funny, because that's a boy I knew when I was little. But I don't think it was the same one. Anyway, that's a good","[I]t's so funny because I was having these dreams, you know, where I'm on a horse and it's running around, you know and then I'm chasing a guy who's","and I am walking by the library and I'm walking to the library, and I'm going to the library and the library is here on campus. And I think I just wal","and I thought it's weird because when I was with my grandma, when she would pass her hand on me and I would like it, she would say to me 'I'll love yo","and I just noticed how this is like the last time I went to the beach, and I was like, 'This is like my favorite part of the beach.' And I was thinkin","it's been like a year since i've had a good cry in front of him, i was like, i'm so happy i'm like, 'y'all need to know i'm good,","I'm imagining I'm in a classroom with all of my friends and we're all like, 'holy crap I miss you,' and we're crying and like hugging and stuff and li","you know what Iโ€™m thinking, itโ€™s the song, 'Iโ€™ll be waiting, and when you come around youโ€™ll see, how much Iโ€™ve missed you. Iโ€™m gonna be waiting.'","I have so many plans. It's so frustrating. Like I have so much to do and I just... I don't want to. But it's just so hard not to. Like I just","I think you're too good for him. I wish I was you. I wish you weren't there, I wish I wasn't here. I wish he wasn't in my life. I wish","[pause] You don't have to pretend. This is not a game. You don't want me to pretend. [pause] I know I shouldn't say this, but I don't like","I'm not a bad person. I'm not bad. I know it. But I have done so many horrible things. I have done terrible things. I've ruined so many lives. I've","I was thinking that I could take advantage of that... of that, of that, the fact that you said you were gonna talk about me in front of him...and I'm ","And that I have done in the past, but I haven't done it for a long time. I don't know, I just want to. I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid I","I feel like Iโ€™m becoming more and more disconnected from my body. My heart doesnโ€™t feel like it belongs to me anymore. Itโ€™s like a part of me is lost ","[My] life is a lot more than I realized. I just never had the energy to explore. I mean, I've been through so many things, and I've been able to have ","[T]hings are really so chaotic. So many things go wrong. The chaos is not the kind I can handle. It is so chaotic... I need to focus and figure out wh","you can't run away from something if you don't feel it's there. It's not like I'm avoiding it, I'm just not trying to fight it or to run away from it ","I'm not even sure what the point of this is. What I would do is I would just try and make as little mistakes as possible. It's kind of like a free ass","the story of a time, years ago, when I was still in high school. I was in my last year. My best friend in school was my best friend. She was one of th","I'm thinking of the people I'm close to, like my dad. He's really a very supportive dad, but he also has a lot of opinions that aren't always well rec","I have been in a lot of trouble in the past, and I always thought I'd end up in jail. But it didn't end up that way, because my dad was always there f","I'm not sure why I'm so good at this job. I feel like it's supposed to be my fault that I've been in it for so long. I always think that I'm not","I think I just finished reading about this one person who was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I remember thinking that's so unfair that they had to go t","so we're still not like a little girl in the way that we're still like a little boy and we just sort of sit there and we get frustrated and it's like ","the old lady who died a few years back...she was like me, in my fifties. I'm in my sixties, I think, and I had this same kind of thing going","and then I think about my sister, who is, like, the most messed up person that I have ever met. And I have always known this. Like, when I was 17,","And I'm so frustrated...and I'm so scared...I'm so angry...I'm so hurt...I'm just so...so frustrated. And I mean that to everyone. Like, I","I can't believe this. I don't know how I got this far. I just know I'm going to end up dead. It's not fair. Why do I have to be in this","my daughter's going to be okay, but it's been hard, I just...I don't know, I feel so guilty, you know? I was so busy, I was so stressed,","[T]he person I've been seeing for the past two weeks, I just feel like I don't really want to have anything to do with them anymore. It just feels lik","and I'm trying to be happy but I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of negative thoughts and emot","I have this picture in my head of a scene where I'm talking to someone, and they're being really hurtful, and I just can't seem to stop thinking about","I want to go to sleep. I can't sleep right now, but I want to go to bed because I need to do a lot of crying. I don't want to do it, but","And then I was like, what is this? Is it some sort of bad trip or something? And then I just kind of went with it. And it was like, it was like a real","And I feel like my brain is just a mess. I'm just... I just need to figure out how to be happy again. I'm trying to be a better person for my mom, and","the world is a mess and i donโ€™t know how to fix it and iโ€™m not even sure that there is an answer for it and itโ€™s really scary because i feel like iโ€™m ","And then I feel like I don't have a right to ask that, you know. So I think about that. Like, I'm not like a privileged person, but I have a lot of","you know, it's weird that my feelings towards my mother have kind of changed a little bit. I kind of feel a little less resentment and I kind of want ","I was at the mall the other day and I had this like, I was trying to have fun and be like, I don't care about these things, but I was like, okay, I","I was having an issue where I was just trying to find a way to explain to myself why I was upset about it, and I don't know, I don't think it was real","[a]bout...about what happened this morning. I know that it was just a little...I know it was just one or two moments where I was...I just was...I was ","I remember I was playing this game on my phone. It's a game where you have to say like a sentence and it tells you if it's positive or negative. And I","this is me doing some kind of abstract art. Iโ€™m making a bunch of little shapes and Iโ€™m going to try to connect them in a way that makes sense. Iโ€™m go","a lot of stuff that i can't really access so i'm gonna have to make it up but uh but it's like the last thing that i'm trying to do in this game is uh","I remember thinking that you know there are some things that you can do, like for example when you have a big project that you know you have to do it ","I wonder if this is the time where you could come back, and see your old friends. And you get to say hi to everyone. And you could get a hug and then ","oh yeah, that's true. Oh yeah, that is true. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about now, too. Oh yeah. You're not going to do it. It's","I've been feeling really anxious. Like I'm going to get sick, and I think my immune system is really low, and I'm going out in the open, and I don't k","I'm having thoughts of maybe getting a haircut... like maybe next week, I'm like, I've been having these thoughts like maybe I should get a haircut be","and so yeah it's really sad and it's very easy for me to feel like this. And I think it's probably because I feel like I'm just not really a person. I","the other one is... I mean like... I know my brain is going to be like this all day, so I know how to manage that, but you know, I think about a lot o","my friend said they could be my mom, and I was like, what? And then I was like she's not like my mom. She's not like mine. So it's weird. And","this is a guy that's not very good at multitasking. So he'll have like this, like a two-hour commute and then like a 40-minute commute, but then he's ","[sigh] I'm really getting bored with the same things all the time. Like the same jokes or memes. I'm like...what do I do with my time when I have noth","I'm talking about a time when I was doing a project for a class and my professor was like, 'oh, you're doing this? Okay, it's fine. You can do it.","I'm going to do a thought-aloud study on myself to see if there's anything interesting I can say out loud. I want to say whatever comes into my head a","so I think it's just this... because I can't do this... like it's like I can't, I can't figure out how to do it... I can't even like write down","my family is very big, they're all from the same generation, I can't even say what their generation is, it's just, I'm a 32 year old person. I don","[I have] a dog. The dog is a lot bigger than him. Like, they were big kids. I'm not sure what grade they were in, but I remember the dog being very","thereโ€™s a big difference between wanting to make it and wanting to make something, but then what we actually make is what we really want. Like I want ","so I've never really talked about my favorite childhood book because I feel like it's not really a favorite. I don't know. I feel like the characters ","I am thinking about how my son is going to have to go through puberty in the coming years, and how he is going to be different than how he was at this","it was like I was thinking about the pandemic and then I realized that I was trying to do that too. I thought, 'Oh, my gosh, that's really good that I","and like, and I'm thinking, I'm thinking about it and like, I'm just, I don't know, like, it's hard to just like, I feel like, I mean","And you think you're like, super amazing, right? But then, you know, like, the reality is you're actually just like, average, but you're just like, tr","I can see this, uh, this is like a like a weird thing that happened to me in high school. Like a couple of people were like, they were just like talki","I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m saying this, but I am so fucking horny right now. I really, really wanna go down on you and just get some blowjobs, and just have ","I think I'm going to try to eat my dinner first, and then get to work. I think I'll be able to get more done with my work tomorrow. I'm going on my se","my hand is literally being dragged by a stick thing. It's being dragged by this stick. Like, this stick is literally just dragging my hand. And I thin","I feel like I have to do so much right now, it's like I'm drowning in a sea of tasks and responsibilities, and I just can't even keep up. I have to pa","I just made it to the first page...I'm working on this report now. I just started it. I'm looking at my outline, I don't know if I'll be able to get","I feel like I'm in a constant state of being stressed about stuff that doesn't really matter. Like, it's just the normal kind of stress I have, but it","I feel like a robot sometimes. I can get really caught up in my life and it's just a robot, I have to remind myself to stop. It feels like I'm just do","I can't take it anymore. I'm done with all of this. I need a break. I need to take time for myself. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and stressed out.","I know there is something that I should do that will make a difference, but I'm too scared. I just feel like I can't do anything right and it's weighi","I have a bad feeling about this. I don't like where I'm going. I donโ€™t feel like I'm doing the right thing. I've been putting off dealing with my anxi","you know, I have this really bad feeling that I'm going to miss this. Like, I think I'm going to get in the car, and I'm going to end up driving to th","the thing is, you know, thereโ€™s this guy that I know on Twitch, and heโ€™s really good at what he does, and he has a huge following, and he just started","I just think about all this, and I donโ€™t want to do that anymore because itโ€™s all, itโ€™s not like it was like a, like, I didnโ€™t feel like I was in","you have a problem with, I donโ€™t know, people. Like, itโ€™s a good thing that you have a lot of friends, like, you donโ€™t have, itโ€™s, I don","it's like this, we have this thing going on where they're like, we're not even sure, but they're like the Trump administration, they're not even gonna","and then he says, โ€˜hey, this is gonna be a long, long day, weโ€™re going to be at home and Iโ€™m going to be tired but Iโ€™m gonna work my tail off","I don't want to go into that, but like, it was the first time I did anything like this because I haven't been like, on the scene since like, mid-202","I was in the shower when I heard the news. I heard on the news that this man, this guy was in the news last year. I don't know who he was. I just reme","I want to do well, so I don't want to get into trouble. I don't think I want to go to college, but I want to do okay for myself. I don't like","itโ€™s funny Iโ€™m looking forward to this...this...this is gonna be fun to do...I think Iโ€™m gonna be okay...I donโ€™t know if Iโ€™m gonna make it, I","I feel like my life is just a long list of failed attempts, you know, like I keep trying to make progress, but itโ€™s all just feeling like Iโ€™m just sor","and Iโ€™m just really sorry for this, because Iโ€™ve just been thinking about this all day and Iโ€™ve been, you know, I donโ€™t have much to do so Iโ€™m just li","it's not as easy as i thought it would be to write this down. i'm not really sure what it is about writing that bothers me, but i know that i can talk","[about] my work life, how the system is designed now, how it's set up and how it can be better, how we can be better as people and professionals. I fe","we have to make sure we're not doing things that are really damaging to the environment. Like, I went to a couple of different companies like, a few c","it's funny. It's so funny. I'm like this. I'm, I don't want to sound like a wuss. Like this. It's like it's a bad joke.","the idea of just taking a nap on a bench in Central Park. Thatโ€™s one of those ideas that comes from just seeing the park and thinking like, okay, like","you know I was kind of disappointed when I saw you guys in that thing that you guys did with the people in the prison in California because they were ","I want to say I want to buy a boat. I just want to say that I just want a boat. It's really scary right now, it's really scary to think about all the ","I feel like Iโ€™m just looking for a way to make a living. Like I have to hustle to make money to make money for my sonโ€™s college. I feel like I need to","and I'm thinking about the people that are... uh, they don't have an understanding of like the scope of what's going on with climate change. I'm talki","I think the thing with AI is that people are getting to use it without really understanding the ramifications of using it. I think it's going to take ","and if I was to look at the number of people who were trying to get out of the US because of the war, because of the fear of war, and you know, becaus","I'm gonna get up. I'm gonna try and go to the gym tomorrow. And maybe I can just like, make it a little bit of an exercise. You know, and then I'm","like some kind of an alarm, like some kind of a bad sign. Yeah, I just keep on getting more and more frustrated with this, I don't know, I think it's ","and you know, I've been feeling a bit stressed and a bit worried. And you know, it's just this constant feeling of, like, you know, you're like, 'Hey,","it's funny. I guess that's a sign of aging. When I'm out of my house, I don't feel so safe anymore. I feel like I need to be on high alert because","I am aware of that. And I've been trying to think of ways to manage it, you know, just kind of dealing with it. I don't know what to do. I just try","I feel so anxious and overwhelmed. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep it all together. I keep thinking about what I should be doing, and then I get","I think I'll get a massage today. I haven't gotten one in a while and it might help with some stress and tension. Maybe I'll try a different kind of m","the other one is a little bit of a challenge, and I'll have to think about that. It's a little bit more technical, I think, because it involves more o","I'm thinking of the things that I could do to improve my health and fitness. It's something that I've been thinking about for a while, and it's been o","And there were no, you know, there was like no like there was no like, and then the last two were like, I don't know if you remember but it was like, ","there's a lot of things I've been putting on hold because of COVID. So I had a friend, he wanted to, he wanted to buy a home, and I was like, oh,","I'm just gonna have to be very careful. I mean, I guess it's going to be a little bit different. I mean the people that have been doing it for a long ","I think that, you know, when I think about it, it's just that I'm like, I'm like always, like when I think, like I think about my job, it's","I'm gonna try to make a blog for my little sister... to write down what she wants to be and her dreams... but also she has a lot of mental health stuf","I can't go out. I just... I think I'm going to get stuck in this house. I just. I mean, I'm like, I feel like I'm gonna be stuck here","I'm going to try to finish this report, because it's due on Thursday. I don't want to stress out too much about it. I'll just try to do my best. It's","so I got a really great book, which I'm going to read soon, and it's a book called 'The Little Book of Common Sense Investing'. So it's a little book,","I have some ideas on how to approach this. It's just a matter of getting the right information and putting it together. It's not about just knowing th","I think weโ€™re in a time where everythingโ€™s being outsourced to the cloud. And I think the cloud is gonna be the future of everything. I think itโ€™s gon","what I was thinking, you know, a lot of things that are happening around me, but I think I'm just going to be okay with it. I mean, I'm trying to stay","I'm in a meeting right now, and I'm actually listening to a podcast at the same time, so that's just, it's a mix, I think. I think it's a good","I was thinking about some of these... and I'm wondering why, why it was such a big deal. Like... I didn't really need it to be a big deal to me becaus","you know it's like, and you kind of wonder how people that work in the field, do they see the same things that I'm seeing that you know, and I mean it","and then I would have to go back to school to make up the time that I was out of school, but that's like, you know, and I don't know if it's the same","so it's just the most bizarre, but it's also just kind of, it's a really good one, because, like I said, it was a big deal for us because we were like","[T]he most important thing that I've learned this year is that it's okay to be a little bit of a bad person and just be yourself. I mean, you don't ha","I'm feeling like I should be more proactive about things. Like I should be taking more steps to achieve my goals and to make my life better. Like I do","I'm thinking about that meeting we had last week, and I feel like I should follow up with the team to see how they're doing and to get any updates. I ","I got into a situation that's been really challenging for me lately, where I'm trying to be more proactive about things. I mean, I'm not someone who i","and the second one is... and I think it's, it's just... it's just not, there's a little more... like a little bit of a gap right now, and I think","okay, so the goal with this is that this is going to be like an evaluation for when I have to have a discussion in front of my boss, and I'm just tryi","So I know what you're trying to do, I'll tell you what you're going to have to do. So first you're going to need to be able to work with the client to","I can't really answer the question. The reason I am struggling with it is because I feel like I want to focus on the more practical aspects of it. Lik","and I am having a lot of fun here. I think I'm a lot happier. I've been around people and it's just very interesting to be here with people and get to","I'm talking about... about the... I'm talking about the, I'm talking... I'm looking at my... I'm looking... I'm trying to, I'm trying... I'm listening","[a]t this point in the analysis, it seems that I'm not sure what's driving this. I feel like a lot of this is the same question of how should you do r","I have been reading a little bit about the book, the book in the book, in the book of the Bible of the book of, well, in the New Testament. I mean, Je","So that's what I was doing here today, is I was looking for a way that we could go after this. This is not a new topic. This is a topic that has been ","okay, so we've talked about the different ways of being able to make a contribution and a connection. We talked about this one, this one, and this one","I'm reading through this. I'm thinking about the thing that we're working on for our assignment and it is about the meaning of being a leader, specifi","what weโ€™re looking for here is, is it the same thing that we do when weโ€™re creating a project. And we have this idea that this is a new problem and Iโ€™","And what would you want to know about the future of the climate, and what would be the best way to influence this and what would you need in order to ","[00:57]I'm not sure what to make of this. There's a lot of, I'm just trying to think through some of the implications of what we've seen over","I don't want to think about it. I don't have time for that. I have to write code, and then I have to go do work with other people, and then my manager","it is important for you to do, to get people to understand how much you have done in the past and what you are trying to do now, and then to get them ","it is very important that we actually look at the data and try to find out what's going on and why. And I think there are some people who are quite in","So I was doing some work on some other projects. I had a project on some, I guess, I'm not sure what, I'm trying to figure out how to help the communi","and I am thinking about this paper that I've been working on for my doctoral program...this paper is...the topic is the concept of an ecosystem servic","this is the current thinking, what I've been thinking about, as I've been going through my days. And one of the things that I've been having is the th","yeah, I have a theory here that you know, you have all these people in the world, and they have all these different sets of experiences and different ","I've got to do an experiment on this topic. I'm trying to decide what I would do, if I were to be a director of an organization that was, that was act","I'm sure that we all know that our individual behavior is a result of our mental processes, our beliefs and our attitudes and the way we make sense of","I think that we really have to change our way of looking at what is going on in the world. I think that a lot of people have a sense of just being rea","and so, the only thing that can be said about these theories, if you have a theory that says that people have certain genes, and we're all different b","the other thing, I guess, that I think, this is a little bit of a distinction in the way that I'm thinking about the relationship between language, an","And I'm looking at a situation, and I say, 'Okay, I'm looking at this situation, and the only way I can solve it is through this approach. But I can't","[I] have the same problem. There's a lot of data that shows that the brain can process information in multiple streams. There's the conscious stream o","there's a lot of talk in the media about the fact that we have a very young demographic of people who are being exposed to the internet and social med","the feeling that we are going to go back to the way it was 20 years ago, and the way it will be in 20 years. We know what we have to do to","I have a lot of respect for the idea of, what do they call it? In a year, we'll have a lot to do. But the idea that we need to have some kind of","I don't know what's going on, what I've been working on, what is my work, what are my research projects, what is the project that I'm involved in that","it's a question of a number of processes that are going on at the same time, and those processes are sometimes in conflict. Sometimes one has to be a ","this is a kind of a way to start to think about how to build the actual mechanisms for doing this. The way that I'm thinking about it is that there ar","this is not an isolated event in my life. I think it's important for me to make myself available for such a thing to happen, and I'm also worried abou","So we're all learning something in this course. There's a lot of stuff here about how to make learning work better. And how to do more with the limite","we know that the state of the environment that we live in is very important for the quality of the future that we're going to be living. And so there ","this is one of the ways I'm trying to understand how the brain works, what the brain is doing, and to see if we can influence that. And I've also been","And we see the idea of the environment as a set of processes and we see that as a process where things are brought to the environment. The processes i","so it's all about the relationship between the brain and the mind. And I'm not sure we know enough about the brain to be able to have a very good theo","so, the fact is that the universe is a giant computer. You know, that's why I'm sitting here, trying to explain it to you, because that's what's going","It's a very interesting thing, because I think there's a certain amount of overlap, but at the same time a lot of different things are going on here. ","so I guess, and this is why, when people go into these extreme, sort of, uh, like, I guess I would say, uh, political discourse. So I know people do t","what we have is a very interesting property. We have these really, really nice little lumps of matter that can do all these things that we are interes","It was my understanding that it was the fact that the Earth is a sphere, and that the curvature of the Earth was actually known in the early days, and","I think the universe is just a model. And if we use the universe as a model, we use a model to predict the future. And if you do that, you can actuall","so you're going to create a network that connects each of these things and they're going to be linked and it's going to be something that can be compu","So I was thinking that in a sense, maybe this whole process of being able to put things out of mind, it's kind of a like a memory erasure process, so ","And this, in fact, is the major issue here, the major question is, what does it mean to be a human being? And this is the problem in the sciences of c","and I have some thoughts about a friend of mine who's a very nice person and a very kind person, and she's got a daughter that's very talented but in ","And I think it's not that I'm trying to be more rigorous about these things and be less sloppy, but I think we all know that you're trying to be rigor","I don't know what is in the mind, what is in the brain, but there is some mechanism that makes it possible for a human being to have a mental represen","it's a kind of like a word cloud that I'm seeing on the screen here. This is a word cloud of the words that were used to describe the brain. It's like","we have these two nodes here, we'll call them node one and node two, and there's a weight that connects them. And so that means the nodes have a conne","I'm not sure about that. Well, I can see the possibility that it might be an illusion, that this is not a true image of the object. So, that's what I'","that's it. So that's one of the main ingredients is this idea that you've got some underlying state that's driving a bunch of other states, and these ","And I had a very good idea of this because I have the book and the book gives me the mathematical expression of it. So, if I had an infinite number of","so what I want to do is I want to find something that's not a proof, that's a theorem. A theorem is a statement that is not necessarily provable but i","you know, I'm not quite sure, but I think, I think that if we take a vector of probability of a given event, then the probability of it occurring, it'","and then we can set up a problem of two point particles, and we can calculate their orbits as a function of time, and we want to know what the distanc","and then he sees this thing and this thing is a giant that is like this big fat thing, this thing is fat, it is just like this thing, it is fat. So, t","a guy is running around the edge of the earth, and he's running around the edge in a way that it is actually a hyperbola. So he's actually running aro","it is a problem of the heart, the brain, and the heart. It is a problem. But we are all made up of brains, and it's all made out of brains. So we","and we see the entire world as a computer and the entire world is the program and the entire universe is the program, but it's not a program that is b","a thought of the moment, which is just a momentary, or rather, which is a thought of a thought of all time, which is, therefore, the ultimate thought ","and I'm looking at a whole lot of them, the ones that are a bit like my own, but that are different enough. And that's what the whole game is, you see","now I am going to write down some of the things I just said, to give you the feeling of how I was thinking. Well, I was thinking about the whole thing","I have this, this, this ... and this, and then I have this here. I don't know what to say. It's not that it's not clear to me, but I don","... ... ... ... we would say that, the sum of all the actions of the individual, would be an infinite series of discrete actions, in which each of the","the dog and the wolf and the tree and the sky... and the mountain and the river and the moon and the sun... all the other things that are not just her","what would be the next best thing? Well, of course, one has to try to define the thing that is being defined, and that is not always possible. But we ","but I will not say that, because that would be to say something that is not true. But I will say that I see it to be possible. I am not sure, but I th","I think I have the most fun doing it, like a, um, a, um -- I think I would like it to be like a, a, like a mathematical question. You would try","The most important thing in the universe is that there is a universal mind, a universal consciousness. In that consciousness I am. I am not my brain, ","Now I am remembering. I am remembering, remembering the feeling of being in the past. I am feeling the past, I am remembering the past. That's why I c","I know how to look at a landscape, and the way it looks at me. I'm not so sure about looking at a picture, unless it's one of my own, which I can look","the only way I know of to find out what is going on in the universe is by the mind, the inner mind; but I don't know what happens in the universe outs","I'll go and have a look at that and see what I can find out about it. If it's going to be some kind of a mental force, I think that may well be a real","And we had a discussion the other day about the meaning of the term 'thought', and it's always a problem with a concept like that. A person might have","the form of consciousness has always been the same and is the same now, even as it was when the brain was not yet formed. This is not the case of a pr","I'm looking for a solution, I'm trying to solve the problem, but I cannot find it. It's something that I've thought about before, but not enough. But ","in a way, this is the fundamental difference between the logical mind and the emotional mind. The logical mind thinks that the emotional mind is in co","the moment of the death of the body. It is a question of the existence of the self, but it is a question as well of the existence of non-self. In Budd","I don't know, because it's an open question and it depends on what you mean by 'mind'... [laughter] but there's something else that's more obvious to ","what is this thing which we are called to do? ... Is it the same as the 'naming' which we have to do? Is the 'naming' something that can be done by","the word 'that' has a certain degree of mystery and ambivalence in it, in the sense of a sort of ambivalence between the word and the content that is ","I feel that I am in the state of a natural system that is subject to an ongoing process of change... The process of change is itself a kind of natural","I see a big lake, I see a tree, I see an ice sheet, I see my own body, I see the whole universe. I see this... I see this in terms of what","I'm trying to get at the truth, the reality of being. I have the feeling that we are all one with each other, and that everything that exists is the s","I feel like I am a little like a child who has to learn to recognize what the language is and to speak and to understand. And when I do that, it's all","I see my fingers as though they were part of a larger form, and that larger form has no name or form. The form of the finger, and the form of the larg","I'm trying to see how to create a better experience for people, to create more meaningful, more interesting, more satisfying experiences, and then I r","I feel this thought that I don't know how to make this thought go away. I don't want to have this thought, it's like it's disturbing. It's like a litt","a black object is moving through the universe... This is a very general image, and it is also very difficult to give an answer to this question, becau","I am here, and my eyes are closed. This is interesting, this is a thought about me being here with my eyes closed. I am aware that I have an experienc","it's like a film, but in the film, the camera can go any way it wants, even inside the object or the person, in any direction. I've never seen it befo","I don't think I've ever had a real connection to anybody. And I don't know if it's something about the way I approach relationships with other people,","there's a connection between the mind, the body and the space, and that the body is a mirror of the mind, which is the mind a mirror of space? The min","[I'm thinking of] [0] my son and my grandson. [1] If there was something about the way in which I've been thinking, for example, [2] the fact","[thoughts on] how we can become more efficient, how we can do more with less... and how can we make a better use of the human potential in terms of th","there are two types of people in the world: people who see things that don't exist, and people who think things exist, but they don't exist in the rea","now I have some memory of the beginning of my existence and the end of my existence, and in between I am a kind of thing that is just not there. It is","my mind was just wandering from time to time. Sometimes there is just a flicker, a sort of flicker, in my mind. It is not a clear thought, but a flick","it's something I've been thinking about, it's like the idea of the self as the same thing that is the world, that is to say the self is a point in tim","now we're in a room here and we're all in the room, and I see this person, who I don't know, and I'm looking at this person, and I look at the","the kind of being in the present moment that we are trying to talk about in the Zen tradition is kind of like being in the flow of a river, it's like ","and that's all I know about the experience of it. It's just what I think I know. It's a feeling that's so familiar. It's like, 'Oh yeah, I know","and that's what I am going to be when I die and the world ends, when the end comes, is going to be whatever is left of me, when I am no longer a thoug","you know, the fact that there is no such thing as a self, a self, which is the true self. I know that the self is a fiction. I know this. I know,","I'm now here in the middle of my thought. The word is now here, and now the image of the word is here, and then I'm in a field that is filled with wor","I can't say that I know anything about it. I can only say that it is a certain amount of light and that there is darkness and I don't know what the re","the thought of a song, or the idea of a song or melody, which is the same thing, is the most fundamental aspect of music. Music is this. Music is soun","a very deep, dark feeling. I don't know what it is. ... It is a dark, deep, black feeling, as if it is a dark substance or energy, as if this is","I'm beginning to understand that the essence of a problem is not that there is something that is difficult or complicated, but rather that there is a ","and it was about that, and I was going to say it in a different way, but I don't know the way, the way of it, the way of the thought itself is in a","and here is the body... and here is... well, here is the thought of the body. And here is the awareness of the body, which is itself the whole body...","[I think of] a kind of balance of beingness. Beingness as a kind of condition in which I am not thinking, but I am simply being. It is not like, say,","a piece of ice in your hand...a piece of water in your hand. Not yet. When you freeze the water, it's cold. It's hard. It's an entity in itself.","I don't think I really know. I don't know what it is I want, or what is there, or what it is that is there, that is out there, but it is the","it was a very difficult process, but it is what it was. I think the essence of my nature is not this form, but this form is an expression of the essen","And then I know, because it's like the word itself. It's like a little house inside my body. And I think, because I feel a certain weight, a certain g","I know that it's important, that I have to do something, to understand things more clearly, to take the action of understanding things more clearly. B","and I feel my face like my eyes and my brain and all the rest of my body, so that all of me can know and see, all at once. And the very first thought ","and then there's the place that I see where the place I want to be, where I want to go to and it's not the place I'm in, but it's a place where I","And I feel that this is the limit, and it is not a limit, it is a threshold. But in that threshold, what can I see? I see my own mind in the void of","I'm in a kind of a waiting situation. And I'm looking at the light and I'm watching the light, and the light is the only thing that I can see, and it ","and we can look at things as a process, or we can look at them as an object. And when you do look at them either way, it's as if the thing is changing","there was this room which is like a portal, a gateway, like a door which is open, or it has opened. It is like a tunnel, a tunnel in the air. It is a","the world of thought is, I think, made of thoughts that have been processed by the mind, and yet that are still, as it were, on the way to being proce","you're in a certain state of awareness, which is an aspect of consciousness. But you're not just in a state of awareness. There's a certain awareness ","and here's another, I'm trying to put them together now: it's something like a generalization of a thought, an image, something that is general for ma","a great many of them [the memories] are also kind of images; images of events that take place in my mind's eye. I remember a great deal of feeling; fe","I'm here, I'm listening. I'm here in the world, I'm not in the world. The world is there. I'm listening to the world. I'm not hearing the world","the concept of the world that we are in, or the way of the world in which we are situated, is an effect of the mind, and so are all the elements of wh","The subject was saying in a somewhat flat, low tone: 'I'm thinking of the death of the Buddha. It was a moment of great transformation that the Buddha","it's so much better to just feel than to talk about it... there is a dimension of feeling and sensation which is not represented by language... but on","now, there is an image that I'm seeing, of myself in the body. There is an image, and that image has the following contents: I can see myself as a bei","and then I start to think about what's going on here. What's my body doing? How is it responding to this? Where are all these sensations, and where is","and I don't know, I don't really know what to say. I don't even really know if I have anything to say. Maybe that's something I should say. Maybe I sh","And now I'm thinking, it's interesting, I'm thinking I have a choice between a decision of the head and a decision of a body. ... And then I'm thinkin","a black spot in a sea of black. There is this black, which is not dark. There is not darkness, and yet there is a black. That black is not in the past","the moment of creation. What is this moment? The moment of creation is the moment of destruction, and this is the moment when the thought of destructi","I know that I am at the bottom of my body and the body is in the air and I can see that I am the body, I can see the body and the air. It's like","And now I am looking out of the window... the sky is still dark... I hear the sound of water, like a fountain, a gentle, flowing sound... and there is","[In this] world, all of a sudden there was no space, there was no time, and suddenly there was no I, and suddenly, I was not there, I wasn't anywhere,","I can feel the strength of the earth. I can feel all of the life of the earth, and I can see it in my mind's eye, like I see the earth itself. I feel","we are at the moment, at the point where I can see a little, a small window, of a much larger reality. It's not a reality of time or space, but of a c","now I'm going to feel this feeling of my body, because I'm going to remember the past, and this is going to be a strange kind of remembering. I'm goin","my hands, they're not good hands. They're very... they're very, very... they do not have the same flexibility as my eyes. The same ability... they are","I think I'm being attacked. I feel like I'm in danger. I feel a lot of fear, but there's also a lot of power in it. And I think I can handle it","[I'm] trying to move through the thoughts. I feel like there's a little more depth here. So when I was looking at the lights and the sun and the color","And it's like a really, really soft blanket. And it's so warm and I have so many colors. It's like, my eyes are so warm and it's just this sea of warm","this is interesting because there's something kind of weird going on. There's something that's very much like, it's almost like a sense of something m","this is a place of constant flux, not a static place, not a fixed place... in this flux there is an aspect of constant motion that is so vast, so full","the beginning of this story is about the sea, I remember seeing the sea, and it was just this vast space, and I remember hearing this voice, and then ","you see the world in a different way. I'm having a hard time trying to see what the world is. I'm trying to see everything. I feel like I'm trying to ","I've been thinking of you. I'm thinking of you and I don't know what's going on. I'm not sure what it is that I'm feeling. I feel like I'm in","and then I can see this giant, giant space... I can feel it... I can sense it... but then I can feel a kind of restriction, a kind of limitation in th","I know it is difficult, to be here, to be inside of your body and to not be able to feel it, because your body is just a vessel. But, you can feel it,","I don't know if it was an idea or a memory, but I was remembering an event where I was in the midst of the forest and it was a very light fog. I was i","I can see the shadow of my body as a tree. The shadow of my entire body. I can see it in a way where I feel like I'm looking into a mirror but the ref","I was lying in bed last night and I had a dream. I remember thinking about this dream that I had. It was really interesting. It was like a film. I was","I feel as if I'm floating in space. I'm not quite floating. I'm almost floating. I feel as though I'm a part of a floating, very high up, and I'm","a white wall...a white wall, a dark wall...a dark wall, a wall with a hole...a dark hole...a light hole...a white hole...a wall with a white hole","I'm feeling very tense, and I'm like, 'Okay, what's the deal?' ... I'm feeling really tense and a little anxious and it's kind of like... there's a li","I have an image of my arm, moving in this circular motion. A ball is spinning around in a vortex, and I am observing it from a distance. I can hear th","the future. The future... like a tunnel... light. Like a tunnel of light, it's a tunnel of... light, it feels like light. I feel like I'm going forwar","the big round of light, that light. The light was inside me. The light from the inside. That light, the light was the big round, the light. The big ro","a kind of cloud. Cloud, that's what it's like... [silence] ... this is something that's happening now, a kind of present moment experience. The cloud ","and you think that you're a little bit old and you have to make a little bit more of a distinction and not really see yourself as the same as what you","And I think it's a question of being a little bit of an artist, to a certain degree, and to a certain level, of being a bit of a philosopher, at the s","I was thinking, like, about some of the things that I've been thinking about lately. I mean, like, I was trying to come up with this word or phrase to","the idea of the word, and it is a bit of a mystery that I think I have. It seems like a bit of an abstraction. It's a bit of how it relates to the phy","I'm thinking about you now, you're like the center of my attention. I don't even know what I'm saying. It's like... it's like I'm watching something a","I'm trying to find words to express what I'm doing, but I'm trying to avoid using language. I'm trying not to use words. I don't like talking to peopl","I can see... I see the shape of the eye... I can see the iris of the eye, it's blue, and then it gets kind of grayish at the outer edge and then at","my hand is... my hand is just like an eraser. But it's not like the eraser because it's... it's not solid but it's kind of fluid, almost, and it","It's a great opportunity to do a lot of things in one shot... I can see the whole thing, I can see all the elements of the image, all the parts, and I","it's not actually so hard to just start. I start with an image. And then I kind of say, oh, yeah, this is the image that I just generated and then I m","you don't see a difference in the way that you can... or... you can have a conversation about your thoughts with yourself. It's like you're a kind of ","the way that you can, in a way, understand it, or read it, or whatever. You're like, this is a flow, and it's like, yeah. The flow, in","And then the little thing, this thing that is, you know, a lot smaller than my body and a lot smaller even than my hand and you can fit it in the palm","[I have a] plan [for a book] that I think about sometimes, but it's not a fully realized plan yet. It's more like a vague idea that's still developing","a single, small, dark object in the center of a black field...and then another dark object that comes along with it...and a light that's coming from b","[long pause] I see a window, and I'm wondering why the window is here. I'm seeing it, I'm seeing a window in my mind. I'm wondering, I'm wondering","... the machine... ... the machine. And... ... and the machine and the... ... and what is the machine for, what is the use of the machine? What is the","I have a big problem here, because I can't really use a picture in a text. I need to be able to get a picture of what is going on, but the picture is ","this is the moment, the moment of a wave, of a particle, a particle in a wave, that's the particle, the wave, it's a particle in a wave... yes... I","I see an image. I don't know what it is, but I am trying to look at the image. I see that it is in motion and I am looking at the image and I am","you are watching my mind, in the sense that you can see the processes that I'm going through, and that's quite interesting... you know, I can see the ","it's like we are looking for something, I'm not sure what, I'm just trying to figure out what's happening in the space, how to understand what's happe","I'm looking at a circle, I'm trying to keep my mind still, but it is still looking at the circle, and I can see the edges of the circle, I can feel th","there's a memory of my mother, she had this... it's funny, this is like a 3D picture and when I look at this, it is this big, this kind of big","[there is] a dream, or a memory that comes, or an image. There are parts that have a specific colour. There is something that I do not understand, so ","it's not like I'm here in a dream. The whole scene is there, but I am not inside it. I am aware of the whole scene, the whole perception. I don't know","I'm going to start to move around in space in a circular motion, and I'm going to see where my eyes go and what I see in my peripheral vision, and wha","now I'm sitting here looking at a clock face, it's kind of like a painting, and I'm looking at the clock face and I can see it in detail, it's like a ","this is a piece of a woman's face. I think that it is a woman's forehead. But, it looks like a face, and that's the part that I'm seeing. And it","it's the way we have the light on that's the problem, it's the way the light is on that makes the color wrong. And I'm looking at the floor, I'm looki","and now this one: (image) [screams] the voice of the body: [screaming] the voice of memory: [scream] the voice of thought: [s","and the bird sings, it's a beautiful sound, it's like a bell or something, it's just a beautiful sound and it comes through the trees, you see, it com","we're all moving, we're all moving on the Earth, and if we look at our bodies, we see that we're made of the Earth, the Earth is in us, and we're","I see a black cat, it's sitting on the ground, it's walking along, and then it's like an explosion of light, it's like a light bulb and I see a rainbo","And you can't see anything. You're still in a black box. You don't know which way you're looking. But you know there is some light. You know there is ","And this is the other one, the one that I just started to draw and that I'm going to draw, that I haven't started to draw, and that I have a plan to d","and that's it, that's the whole story! What's that? Well, that's just some words in a word cloud. This is a cloud of words, and each word here is a","and then I'm in a state of just moving around and seeing myself as an object... and I'm not sure if it's actually me moving... but I can see myself, l","that I've been working on this, because I've been thinking about this, the way my mind is organized. And I've been trying to figure it out, and I've b","the word that was just spoken before...was it just spoken? It was just spoken, but the way it was spoken, it wasn't just spoken. I mean, there's no di","[i]f I have a thought, it's an image and I don't really know how to describe it. It's just... it's kind of... it's not a... I don","this is like a thing that has been going on with me, and it's like an animation of a scene, and I can't really figure out why that would be. And this ","And the mind is a computer and it's processing a lot of information. And it's a very powerful tool but it also has its own problems, its own flaws. An","[I'm] trying to see that in terms of the relationship of my body to the universe. Because I feel my body in a way that is sort of like the universe in","this is the next word that comes into my head is: 'tangents'. ... and then I think about the way that the word tangents is formed, and I notice that t","and then there's the memory. What's the difference between memory and imagination? Well, memory is basically a series of images stored in your brain, ","and I think that I can see it now, in a more clear form, the relationship between the two things, the relationship, the connection between the two of ","I have some feelings about this, maybe this is about, maybe this idea is about something else. Maybe it is about how I think. Maybe it has to do with ","and I think of the big picture that we were working on a few months ago in my research group, where we were looking at the relationship between the br","I've been thinking about the thing that I'm saying, I'm saying: you're saying: I've been doing this study for quite a long time now, and I know the di","and it seems to be quite similar to the work of other researchers, but they are often using methods of neuroimaging, so that they can see the brain ac","I'm trying to think. I'm thinking of something. I think it's a kind of thinking, but I'm not sure it's a thinking, but it's like a kind of thought,","and then when the pain is so strong that you have a hard time breathing...then you need to do something to get your mind off the pain...and this is wh","I'm feeling sad... I'm feeling sad about my family being in conflict. It's sad. I'm feeling sadness about how much pain my family is in... I'm sad abo","it's like the car is always there, so it's like the process of becoming conscious is a process of having awareness that the car is there, and that awa","and I'm sitting here thinking that this is not working. I'm not connecting. And it feels like I'm going to feel this wave of pain. I feel like somethi","I feel... that I'm getting stronger... but it's difficult, it's difficult because I'm trying to... to do things with my mind and it's not coming natur","my memory is just really really bad. I've been trying to keep it in check but I've been thinking that maybe it's not just that it's bad, maybe it's ac","what I think about in the middle of the night...when I'm alone, I think about things that are important for me, that are meaningful, and I also think ","I've always been curious, I think I should know this better, but I can't quite grasp how I relate to other people and I don't really have an answer fo","I have this kind of vision, a vision of me having to, sort of, take on the role of somebody else and seeing things through that person's eyes. I find ","there's a lot of mental activity in the background. Sometimes I can hear it. I don't know whether this is something that's a by-product of a memory or","the question of identity, of the question of what makes us who we are. I think the answer to that question, there is something about me that's made up","[I] was thinking about... my son. And then I was thinking about how he's still... like a child in some respects. And that was a bit... difficult. I'm ","I'm feeling a lot of pressure to do good things... I want to feel better but I have to change my body to do that. I can't do that through dieting and ","I feel that I can't really have that much control over my emotions, or my life in general. I mean, I feel like my emotions are out of my control, and ","I've got some ideas and some things I'd like to do, some goals I'm working towards, but I'm not sure that I know how to achieve them. And there's that","[thinking about] a family member or friend, and feeling grateful that they exist in my life. I feel love and appreciation, and I recognize that this i","it's the same thing that's happening in your body. When you feel a certain emotion, when you feel stressed or excited or whatever, your body's kind of","I'm just... just sitting here. I don't know... what am I doing? What do I want to be doing? I've got so many different things that I'd like to work on","I am the only thing. I'm the only thing that has a self and I can't be any other thing. I can only be myself and the way I can be myself is by being r","my left hand is resting on my chest... I can't do it. I can't. I can do this. It's me. It's who I am... it's a different experience for","[my]... [my] mind is going... [my] own thoughts... I'm just going through the motions of life... [I] feel so alone... [I] don't know","the most interesting thing to me is how I'm experiencing this moment now. I'm sitting with closed eyes, and I feel very safe here. And I'm feeling a b","I feel this need to do something with my time. I feel this need for something to be happening. I don't like being in that sort of state where I'm just","there is the notion of 'life' in the sense of a spiritual life or an energetic life that is constantly shifting, constantly moving. It is a subtle ene","I'm not in a state where I can really focus on anything right now, which is strange, because I'm sitting here and I'm very much aware of this and I fe","what I'm feeling right now. It's not a pleasant sensation. I'm getting a little uncomfortable in the pit of my stomach. I'm aware of the sensation but","my thoughts are all over the place. I'm feeling a lot of tension and anxiety. I'm experiencing a lot of worry and worry about my kids. I'm trying to s","I'm thinking of my son, he's sleeping, and I think of him when I'm with him, but also when I'm not with him, when I'm thinking of him, when he","I am here, I am present, I am aware that I am aware, and I know I am aware of everything. I am aware I am here and now, that I am in this room","And I'm having a lot of thoughts and I can't find a way to deal with it. It's as if there are so many thoughts that I don't have the energy to deal wi","I've got a lot of memories. Like memories of times where I'm in a dark place and I've got this, like a protective feeling, a protective energy of myse","there's this sensation that I want to talk about. I think this is a feeling I've had for a while. I can't pinpoint it. I think it's more of an urge to","I'm in a state of openness. And then I'm also in a state where there's a lot of emotions and a lot of feelings that I can recognize. And I've also rec","I think about my relationships and how they are and what they can be. I'm not sure I need a relationship. I think I need to know that I can have relat","I feel like I'm looking at a person's mind, and I'm sort of like the outside of their brain. And I'm just looking at it. I don't know. I don't","I feel the feeling of the sensation of my body being there in the body, the feeling of my body... I don't know if it's a good word... I don't feel lik","the world around you... how it is perceived by your body, your skin, your senses, your thoughts. I have had moments of really experiencing the body. T","I feel like I need to tell you something right now, right here, in this room. You are an integral part of who I am and of everything around me. You ar","and I'm feeling this very strong feeling of wanting to be seen, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Maybe it's just like a wish for recogn","I think I have to do something, I need to do something...I'm just sitting here and not doing anything. I'm not feeling like I need to be in a relation","I'm thinking of being on the road, not in a car. I'm thinking that I am on the road. I feel very safe in my body. I have my awareness here. I feel","[my] mind is going back to some sort of a conversation that I had with some woman earlier. I think it was about 24 hours ago and the way I was feeling","you know I feel like this. I can't describe. It's like I'm just feeling like there is no particular emotion and I'm just aware. It's weird because I f"],["I mean, you know, like you could be a doctor, but you could be an attorney, or, you know... you could be, like... well, like I say, if you like","[S]o that's one way to deal with it, so you don't have to deal with the other, and that's really what's going on in a lot of these cases. But","and I was just thinking about the new year, you know, and how the new year is going to start and I'm kind of worried about how my career's going to go","and they've been kind of stuck with some of the stuff that they're trying to do, trying to get it back online and then the other thing that has been k","and that's it. Okay, let's see, it's time for lunch now. I mean, we've been at this for over five hours. I mean it's just been so much fun","and then I was thinking that this is kind of funny, because I am actually thinking of you when I am talking to myself, so... so maybe there is a littl","And you think, well, it's an old-fashioned movie, you know? They've got, like, this, I dunno, I just don't know what I'm talking about right now","and there's something I've wanted to ask you, like, because I know you're thinking about it, because you just said you were thinking about the compute","you know, I think of people who are dying and that makes me a little bit nervous. I have a friend that died and it made me a little sad. So, it makes ","it's a little like the movies. There's the action and then the commercials and then the action. You see, in the movies, there's a lot of things that g","And I am... I am... (pauses) I don't know what I am. I have no idea. I don't feel like I'm being myself. Like I'm just, you","the truth is, you just have to be happy with the things you have. It's easier said than done, but I think that if we could really just stop thinking a","and it's like, if I'm like, going to be a mom and all, I should have been a better mother to my older sister, because she died and I know that's on my","and I think that if you were to look at it in another way, you would realize that it's the same thing, and the same person would be happy to see you, ","the entire experience of waking up. The way the room feels when I wake up, the smell of the coffee, the way the lights are, the way I feel on my bed, ","there's always a new day. Sometimes it's better than the last day, sometimes it's worse. I have to be okay with either, and if it's worse, then I know","and I'm going to get a job after I graduate. I want to get a job. I want something that will support me. I need money. I can't survive on my mom's mon","the next morning I woke up at 8:15am, had a shower, dressed, and ate breakfast. I have to start a new book and get out of bed because my body feels","I think my dad and my mom would get married again if they could. I don't think I would want to be with a single mom. I don't want to have a mom who is","[in the past, I thought] I would never be married...and I wouldn't ever have kids...[but now] I have a boyfriend, and we're thinking of having a baby.","[The] kid I have in the middle school is the most amazing girl that I ever have met, and I don't think it will ever go away, not for a long time...And","I had to give him a couple of shots of liquor. And I was like, you know, I was a little nervous because I didn't know if he'd really have it. And I re","[my husband's] the one that made me start looking for a job. He had been laid off, so he had to start working again, too. I've always worked, and I re","I wonder if it's the fact that I'm not an immigrant or a refugee, and I haven't been to any other country. It's like a great blank. I didn't grow up i","we are here because I was like, I don't have a boyfriend. I'm in my 20s and I don't even have a boyfriend like, and it's like, 'Why","it's just so crazy, I'm like, I don't know how to think about it and I don't want to be alone, but I think I want to be on my own. Like","And then I think, 'Oh, that was a really nice place.' I'm like, 'I should go back. I should probably go back to that place. And it's funny, because","I just feel really lucky to be living in a world where I can go out and be myself, and be me. It's really nice. I'm not always sure of who I am. I","so much time is spent talking about the future...I never really plan to have another baby. I never thought that would happen. I think I had a few misc","I don't know why it happened. I guess it was a very unexpected thing. Like, it was very unexpected for me. Like, I didn't really expect it to happen. ","and that's when I think about it, I'm like, well, you know, I'm glad you got that done. And then I just, like, moved on. I guess. I","you know, I feel like I've been doing a lot of talking and I kind of feel like I need to catch up. And I feel like my life's a mess, you know, and","[The] fact that I'm here right now, it's a nice feeling. It's almost like I'm kind of taking time for myself, but then it's also weird because I don't","and then I have like this, like this, I don't know, I'm like, oh I'm just thinking about all these things that happen, but it's like, I'm not sure","[The participant is describing] a really big thing that happened at work, and it's kind of crazy, like, my boss just emailed me like, hey, we're doing","yeah, I don't want to do this...I don't even know why I'm doing this...I'm doing it to, like, save money, or something? Or, like, to","[I have] got a [to do list] that I've been trying to do for weeks, and [I] haven't gotten around to it. But I think I'm going to just","I'm actually trying to get over this whole idea of 'I'm not good enough'...I mean, I feel like I'm not really good at anything, and I just want to jus","like a lot of people I kind of get overwhelmed when Iโ€™m with my friends because thereโ€™s always this, like, I have to keep up with them and I have to, ","I don't have any kids yet, which is kind of good and kind of bad. I think I like kids, but I'm not sure how I feel about having one. I mean, I","I know the other girl, she's like the opposite of me. I can be pretty much anything, and I like to be whatever, but she's more like a conservative per","I guess you could say weโ€™re both like that. Weโ€™re both a little bit neurotic. But in a good way. I mean, I think itโ€™s healthy to be neurotic sometimes","I am on an island, there are a bunch of people on it, and there is a really nice little town with a bunch of little cafes. And they are all like, you ","like there's a bunch of people that are just like me. I think that there's some people that are like me because they like that kind of vibe like if we","I'm a little bit worried about the amount of money I'm going to have to spend this year because of the fact that I'm still like unemployed. I'm not re","I donโ€™t think I could do anything. Iโ€™m so bad at this, Iโ€™m just gonna be like, Iโ€™m gonna keep doing this. But then you just get to the point where you","this is the thing, it's the way of thinking that we have, we have a lot of people and then we think that if we have more people we're gonna be better,","I have some dreams, I have a lot of dreams, and some of them are pretty scary and some of them aren't. Like, I have this dream where I'm like, I'm goi","like I was going to make a song and have it be like a song about something really meaningful. So like I was like thinking about my life like Iโ€™m reall","Iโ€™m really upset that I canโ€™t eat my meat...I canโ€™t even drink my...itโ€™s not because itโ€™s unhealthy, itโ€™s because my body just doesnโ€™t want to. Like I","you can't just be like 'okay, I'm just gonna make an image and do the whole thing and go from there' because that's not really what I wanted to do. I ","just talking about stuff right now, but then like I know I'm going to have to like start playing guitar, and I know that's going to be a lot of fun. I","[talking about being with other people] i'm pretty sure i want to be with a lot of people. But it's a lot easier for me to be with people i like. I th","I wonder if she likes me. I mean like that... I'm not going to do anything with her, she's probably already dating. I just want to see her. I'm really","like it was just a day I was at the zoo, like a normal day, and then I was like, okay, now I'm gonna eat food. I was like this is gonna be a","And then I was like, okay, I have to be honest, I'm actually like a little bit sad that I'm here. I don't know. I don't even really know why.","and so we're at 6:22. I think it's a really good time to say good night to everyone. I hope you all had a great year. I hope everybody had a","it's nice to get to do this, I really enjoyed it. I did it with a friend last night, it was fun. So I had to tell you I did it. I thought I","[a]ll of these conversations, they were just really good for like, [like] me being able to connect with people, but they also made me realize like I w","I have a plan that I have been thinking of, that is I would like to make some of my old, worn out shoes that I have, I just want to make it into a lit","you know what? I don't really understand the question. I was like, okay, so this is the idea that, like, if you were to live in an alternate universe,","it's a new thing for me to be sitting here and trying to talk to my boyfriend. Like he's not a part of my life anymore and I've never been out with hi","and like you know, it's kind of funny. It's funny that you asked that question because it's like, I'm not even sure how that I know that I'm a man but","it's like...it's like what was like to be like, like, like a kid. Like, I didn't, I didn't have to have a like a, I didn't really","I don't like people... I just don't like them. Like a lot of people in my age group, I don't really like people. I don't like other people. I just don","I'm in a car, the car is driving really slowly and I don't want to stop so I don't have to stop but then it's like if I get out I'm gonna get in","and I've never been there, but I imagine it would be like a very nice, very good hotel. It's a nice, it's a really nice hotel in like an amusement par","I have to go to a concert in a week and I'm planning to go to this one place where there's a lot of like, people and a lot of fun. So, it's like","okay so I have a dream that I don't want to talk about and that's kind of a weird dream that I have where I'm like in the bathroom and I'm washing my ","I think this is my favourite type of thing to think about, the music is amazing, the vocals are amazing, the lyrics are amazing. I think it's definite","you have to think of it like it's a song or something like that. So just think of the words coming out and it's like a song you're singing to yourself","I am thinking about my day. I woke up at 9:30 in the morning. It was a little bit late for me but I was fine because I was laying on my stomach and","okay i guess i'll see you later tonight maybe? no, i'm not going to bed. I'm going to stay up with you. I'll do that. I'm not going to watch","a tree in the backyard, it's a maple tree, I don't know if it's the right time, but the leaves are starting to change. It's just like the leaves are l","and i know you guys are all working on your papers, so i hope they go well and that you guys can write good ones and and not just kind of get caught u","and it's a kind of a sad kind of story because like they said it's like it's not like it's like what I don't know if they're like the like the same on","I'm doing this project. So it's about a 40-something guy who's been married for like 13 years, I don't know. And so he's trying to get","I like my parents. They're still around. We got divorced. And I know it's gonna be hard but I'm gonna get through it. I'm gonna be fine. I'm not going","so I don't feel so bad, right? That's what I feel like, right? I feel like I'm just, I don't know, like I'm overthinking things a lot,","it's a little bit overwhelming because there's so much going on and I mean, you know, I think this is like, you know what it is, it's just, I think it","it's a nice song...you can listen to it on Spotify. It's...I can't remember the artist, but it's just a nice, relaxing song. I can imagine it being pl","I remember the first time I got a puppy. I was like 4 and I just had a puppy that was a chocolate Lab. He was like, he was like my best friend ever an","yeah it's really weird I just realized that you know my daughter I have a son and a daughter and they're like one year apart and my daughter is just l","And I can see this movie right now in my head. I think I want to be a teacher, but I don't think I will. I'll be a teacher and I'll be the teacher","I think the best thing is to just stay here and do this. I want to talk to my mom and let her know I'm fine. I'm so tired and so sad. I want this","And then I think, I'm like, this is what I really want. I'm just like, I'm not going to do it. I'm like... I think I'm going to...","and I'm not sure if they were... I mean if they were going to have a baby... and... oh my god... I'm so excited. I'm so happy. I'm happy that","I'm so sorry my friend I'm so sorry. I know what you're going through right now and I don't know how you're going to get through it and I don't want y","I was gonna be like, hey, I'm just gonna text them. Like, I'm gonna tell them I'm sorry that I'm not doing anything today because I'm having a hard ti","I've been thinking about when I was younger and my dad passed away, and I think that's how my mom always saw me, like when I'm little and I'm crying, ","it's a funny thing because I think the way I handle stress is really the opposite of how most people I know handle stress. So I think I'm going to be ","I have always been this way... I know I will die soon but itโ€™s so hard to accept because I know whatโ€™s coming. I know it will be hard. My grandma and ","and then he, like, just like, you know, like he's, like, you're like, just really you know, you know you're like trying to save your son, like,","I'm just sitting here and I just like... I can't just sit here and just do nothing, I just... I just need to feel something and I don't. I just... jus","I don't know. I've never really liked her. I think she's kind of weird and I think it was a really bad idea of hers, you know, she was like, 'Oh","and then i have like a little kid sister and she's like, you know, she was always the little, like, little sister and, so she was always like, she was","I think I'm gonna be in my new job for a long time, and that's fine...I don't like that my job is...I'm gonna be an assistant to an older person and","it's not that bad. I think I have a good sense of self now and I know when I'm being too hard on myself, and I've gotten to the point where I'm more o","I was watching my dog, who was really in pain and crying and just kind of curling up and like she was on the floor and I was just like, oh my god, I w","like, uh, I'm like, I'm just like, like I said, I'm not really talking to him because I'm trying to get to know him a little bit more, and like","I just saw like a very tiny little thing, and it was just like a little dot, like a spark in my peripheral vision. It was like, I donโ€™t know, it was a","I'm really just looking for a place to get some ice cream or something to just kind of unwind, because I'm so stressed out with the job right now, lik","I'm going to... I'm gonna get the green bottle to the top... and then I'm gonna put the red on. Like I said, I'm just gonna put it on the back of","I mean, I don't know, you know, it's it's like, you're just in the moment, and you're like, hey, you know what, I'm like, hey","oh my god, I'm so in love with you. Like, I think I'm so crazy in love with him and he's not even going out with anyone else, he's just like,","I was looking at this person and like, okay. So this person is kind of weird but I donโ€™t know what's weird about them but like Iโ€™m not into it but lik","like what? It's like we don't know what it is we're looking for but we're like, okay, I think it's like a combination of like the beginning and the mi","[I'm] like, what do you think I should wear? [I want to] wear the pants and the cardigan and the shoes, and then the sweater that you know, that you","I feel like my brain is running wild. Like I have these ideas coming at me so fast. I'm like, 'What was that? Oh, that's not even real.' I just have","this is me I'm feeling like I'm doing all the right things but like I'm not being genuine. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, I don't even know w","[t]he point is I think this is the only way it can be done. And I think we just need to keep working on it, and maybe I'm overthinking it, but like","like it's a good idea. Maybe I should just say no and call it a day. Maybe. What is this for? What is this supposed to accomplish? What's the point? I","you know that they can't...you know that you're gonna get the same thing as I have, but you can get it out faster. If I start thinking, I just sit the","I have an idea, a very bad idea, if I had to say what would happen if I took a big bath in a tub of molten lead. I would feel like, like, I","[sigh] so I just sit here with no energy. [sigh]. It's so...[sigh] [pause] just sit here and nothing. I just want to have fun","I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna lie down. I'm not really thinking about anything. I'm just going to rest my eyes. I'm going to sleep. I'm so tired","this is the day I'm thinking about my friend. I'm thinking what's she like. She's got a cute accent. I'm also thinking about what my friend's doing ri","you know, I've been thinking about something, I can't decide if I should have a dream, but then again, I might just feel like a dream for like, what's","I think I'm going to get up from the couch. Yeah, I think I'm getting up from the chair. I'm going out. I'm gonna get out of here. I'm getting","like a jigsaw puzzle that's been put together but no one can put the last piece on it. But you have a couple of the pieces and then like you're just t","so it's a... it's a huge... I feel like I'm being judged by people for no reason. I think... I think I'm just a lot... a lot more emotional than I","you know, I'm getting tired of this whole thing. I'm not sure I can do this anymore. Like I'm just... I don't know, I feel like I'm running out of","what is happening is that my brain is like a giant cloud, and everything thatโ€™s going through my mind is like little drops of rain falling down. And t","I'm trying to figure out... what if... what if I had a really bad day? Like, like if I had to go to work and my day was just so... just so... u","[19:38] I wonder if there are people out there that have feelings of anger and hatred or something like that, and maybe they're not able to express th","I want to finish reading my book, but I don't know how to start again. I have so many unfinished thoughts and ideas in my head that I feel like I'm dr","I was trying to write down what I was thinking... I don't know how to describe it... It's a feeling... Like a warm blanket... It's comforting... I fee","I'm feeling tired, like my brain is a little foggy...I was just thinking about how my friend [friend's name] asked me if I wanted to go on a hike, and","and I think I'm going to need another cup of coffee. I've been feeling a bit groggy since yesterday, so I figured I could help me stay awake and focus","I was in my mom's apartment and I was just talking to my mom about what I was going to do for the weekend. She said I could stay here and hang out wit","[I'm] working on [a] script... [I]magine if [someone] were to [call] and [offer] to [do] something like that. I've been","I have been thinking about, um... uh, I think I'm going to start doing a lot of exercise again. I haven't been doing it recently because I haven't had","I'm doing my reading this evening. I have a bunch of stuff to read, I'm gonna listen to some music. It's gonna be like... I'm gonna be doing my readin","i'm trying to figure out, is this going to work, you know, is this, how do i get this to work? I'm trying to think of a way to get rid of this","I know that I have to talk to my mom about this because I don't know what to do, but I also don't want to cause a scene, so I'll probably just leave a","I'm in the car. And I'm listening to music, and I'm listening, and I keep thinking, what's gonna happen on this ride? I feel like there's just, like,","this is kind of like a meditation thing, but you don't really need to be meditating, or you're not necessarily trying to be meditative, which is like ","I'm trying to figure out the difference between being in the office and being at home. I think it has a lot to do with the environment. Like, when I'm","Iโ€™m thinking about my mom, like, sheโ€™s not here, Iโ€™m not gonna see her. Sheโ€™s gone. I feel a little sad for myself that sheโ€™s not around anymore. She","like that, it's like if it's like a bit more in this, but then you're like, but then it's like you're thinking about how much you've done, like, how","I'm at the gym. I'm gonna do a plank. I'm also gonna go do some sit-ups. I'm working out. It's been a while since I've been working out.","the kids are getting ready. I don't want to go home right away. I'm gonna try and get an hour of sleep in there before I go home. I'm just gonna relax","and my dad had a day off last week and he took the kids to Disney World so the day after, it was like, he went, and they went back home. So, I was lik","and you have like a real big... like a big white fluffy one... you have like this big fluffy one in your yard and you're like, oh my gosh, you're gonn","just finished, a short, I'm a little bit nervous. It's, it's not a very long thing. I think it's gonna be alright. Um, I'm nervous because I'm","And I think I want to go to a park and see the squirrels, and just kind of, just kind of relax and let the kids and the dog and the cat all be togethe","like some of you guys, you know, it's like I'm always like, oh, I gotta eat, but I don't eat because I don't have the money. But like, I","And my dog. We just adopted him. And it was really tough. The first time you meet him, it's like you're meeting a stranger, right? And you don't know ","itโ€™s kind of hard for me because my dog is a dog and heโ€™s kind of a weird dog. And heโ€™s a mix of different breeds, and I think heโ€™s a little bit of","the sun is burning bright...I have a burning sensation in my legs, but I'm feeling fine...I have this burning sensation in my chest...my mom, I'm thin","I wonder what it's like to be a bear in the wild. I bet it's really fun. It's like being a kid again, because when you're a kid you're not scared of","I was trying to think of a place we've been to a lot before but I don't remember, so I was thinking like what would that be like to go there and do so","I can hear this man's voice. He's singing on the radio. It's like, I can hear it. It's the 'Bohemian Rhapsody.' I like that song a","I don't know why it's so quiet. I wonder why people are so quiet. They don't make any noise. Maybe they're hiding something. They could be hiding in a","just thinking about like my kids and just how much they grow. They're like I know they're five right now. They're going to be six like tomorrow. I'm j","I'm still trying to figure out this puzzle thing. So I know how to make the puzzle and then put the pieces on the puzzle and the pieces fit together a","you know, it's kind of a weird thing, but when I'm playing music, like piano, or guitar, and I'm kind of thinking about something, like, like the weat","like... I just want to think of a way to help people feel better about... their body. That's the only thing I can think of right now is... like, when ","the color green and it makes me think of spring. ... I think of the rain and how it makes the grass grow. And then it's just like this big rainbow tha","I remember the song... the song is... I remember that... oh no I don't... oh, the song's not... it's not the song. I have no idea what song it is","I can't quite remember this part of the movie, but I'm sure it's the kind of scene where someone's got their nose bleeding. That's my favorite scene. ","and then I thought of the dog and I thought of them and I thought about how I want to get my dog a new bed... and then I was like, you know, you need ","I wonder what she thought when she realized that I was taking a picture. And she was so shocked that she just laughed a little bit. Yeah, that's what ","this is the second time, I don't think I said it in the last session, but I don't get the point of the prompt because I'm so sad and angry that I don'","and now I'm thinking of the song and I'm just like 'okay, I just wanna listen to it on the phone'. But I can't be alone anymore. I don't know what to","and you're like, 'No, it's not a real place,' and then you're like, โ€˜What does it sound like?'. And then you're listening to it, and you're","I just saw an old friend in the mirror, and he was smiling, but I thought maybe I saw something wrong with my eyes. Then, I saw a spider web. It was h","I feel like I'm getting to know the person in the video...I'm almost seeing him now...he's wearing a hoodie...he's got a baseball cap on, too...his ha","what are they thinking? ...that's funny, it's like they're... like they're a part of me or something. I wonder what they're thinking. like they're wat","the real meaning of what I'm saying is...I'm just saying that's it...yeah...I'm saying that...I'm going to do this...I'm going to...yeah, I","I'm going to do a random thought, yeah, I've been trying to think about a random thought... I'm just gonna go with, I'm thinking about... I don't know","[myself,] not doing that much, and like, I'm still like, like, doing like, I don't know, maybe like I was gonna, I don't even know,","the words came out... I have some questions... what is my name... my name is... is... what is... is that... is that okay?... it's... is... is it...","I'm going to need some new socks cause my feet are like, cold, like I don't know why it's like 100 degrees but my feet are cold, so I'm going","yeah so i mean so i'm like what's with these videos i was like well you know the the the like you know the like the you know like the the like the the","and like uh i'm like what time is it and it's like five or six in the morning and like i'm like how come it's like like at six or seven in the morning","I got to think that I had a good time last night. I got to think I got a good time because of the song. And I got to know that I got a song that I lik","I am so excited. I'm like. I'm excited. I don't have. I don't know. I just wanna talk to people. I'm gonna try to. I'm trying to","i'm watching a video, and i'm thinking that this is a very boring video, i should be doing something else, but i'm just gonna keep watching it, it's j","uh... I'm a bit nervous and it's getting me down... I was gonna tell you, but I don't wanna put you on the spot. So, um, I think it's,","I don't know, maybe I should just eat the entire bag of chips like I have done in the past. I can't tell you how many times I have done this, I've los","I'm gonna watch the cat today. I'm going to watch the cat. I'm just gonna watch the cats. I think I'm gonna go buy some food. I think that's what I","I think there's a lot of people like me. I mean, I think there are a lot of people who like to do what I like to do. I think it's something like, I","the story that you just told me was really funny. It made me laugh. You know, I'm not even sure why I'm laughing, but I'm just laughing really hard ri","so it's a very... I don't even know what I'm talking about now. I'm not even sure if it's coherent or not... I'm trying to remember when I was last he","I don't even remember the last time I went to the gym...I want to try to work out more...I think I'd be good at...I've never been good at sports but I","my boyfriend is in the army and I miss him. He's a soldier and he's deployed overseas and he's really far away. I miss him a lot. I miss talking to hi","you know what the other day we're just talking about this and I'm like well what what are the chances that my my cat would end up being in the same pl","I feel like I'm in a trance, like a zombie... I don't know. Maybe it's because it's a lot of stress, because I'm like, oh my god, what am","I'm going to go back to my parents' house in two weeks. It's like two months ago, I know I'm going back in two weeks but two months ago it was like th","and that was like a very, very bad thing. But it's like the first time I've actually kind of seen my dad as a man. I mean, he was definitely more of a","it's like, it's a different mindset. It's like, when I'm not thinking about work, it's like a different mindset, and I feel like I'm more relaxed and ","I'm in the shower. I'm not even fully awake. I think I should make a phone call to my mother. I haven't talked to her in a while. It's been a while","so we have to be careful with that... yeah, we just got to be careful, I guess, and, and and be like, oh, this is just like, oh, I'm just","okay, so, if you were a fish and you were in a fish bowl and you could leave that fish bowl at any time and go outside of that fish bowl, like if you'","I've got this dream that I've had like, I don't know, since I was little where I'm in this forest, I'm like a little kid, and I've got like,","the two of us are just gonna go together for like, I don't know, a few days. It'll just be you and me and we're gonna... we're gonna, like, just","I have been thinking a lot about my past and how my past has influenced my present and my future, and how I feel about some of the things that happene","I know I don't want to go out there... I know that if I don't go out there, that I'm going to regret it. I can see my future self regretting it.","so my experience of it is like, I was in the house with my parents and my girlfriend and my dog and we were there, like we were there for 10 minutes o","[s]omething like... like... like, it was, it was something like an hour and a half ago... I think we were at like a dinner party that I was at... and ","I think about, I think about the stuff that I'm writing. I've been thinking about that a lot because I think, like, if you write something and then yo","like I said, I really liked that because I didn't feel like I was, I didn't have to think as much about what I was saying because, you know, I just ha","I don't have a good job. I don't want to talk to my friends because I feel like I can't communicate with them. I'm not very social. I've never been ve","and I think that it's kind of sad that it's like that. But it's a very good feeling. I feel like I'm in this new world, like, it's a different place","I'm going to get back to my journal. I'm going to write more about this experience. So I'll take a minute, just journal a little bit, but I'm not goin","and so you know, I think in the next week, like, maybe I should just take the opportunity to maybe call my mother and just, like, tell her a little bi","it's kind of nice that I get to think about, like, you know, like what I'm doing this summer. Like, I don't know, I could totally, I don't really","I am so nervous about this whole process. I'm just going to have to take a step-by-step approach and really focus on making sure that I'm doing this r","Iโ€™m going to take the elevator up to the 5th floor, then Iโ€™m going to go to the gym, Iโ€™m going to do a 10-minute warm-up, then I","you know, we were on the road in Vegas a few weeks ago. We had to go to Las Vegas to get some things for the school and we were like, we're going to V","so I was talking to this guy and he says I got 7777 I said, oh, like what what what are you doing? you know like how are you like how is that","so I think that I just look up at the ceiling, and I think, well, I'm out here by myself, so I guess I can just, like, chill out and like, just","I'll start at the beginning, and then we'll go to the end. And then we'll do this thing where we'll, I don't know, if that makes sense? Okay, I","you know, the last thing I wanna do is, is sleep in that hotel and then have to walk to work, but I guess it's better than a taxi ride, you know? And ","so I guess my thought was like what I was talking about earlier, I guess my goal is to be able to like work with other people like, like in a group se","I'm not gonna do it today, but I will probably do it tomorrow, and then it'll be done. Then I'll do the next one, which is just like the first one. Sa","I'm trying to write. I'm writing in my head. I don't think it's working well. I just realized that I need to start thinking about a blog post that I'm","I have to be in the gym by 7:00 a.m. today, so I need to be ready to go by 6:15. I have to take out my workout","and I just need to know if I need to be able to talk to him about this or what, but if I need that I will definitely be able to do that. So, yeah. So","yeah, I got like four hours to get all of that done before it gets too late and I need to start to head home, and it's going to be like, 6, 7","I can't think of any other books I've read. I'm kind of disappointed because I can't really remember the names of the books. I'm trying to remember if","this is weird. I'm supposed to say what's in my head, and I'm going to try to figure out what's in my head. This is kind of difficult to explain, beca","and I have to get over this and it's like it's in my head like a thought bubble thing and it's so hard because I can't do it because it's just like a ","yeah I'm working on that right now...I was like hey we can make a website that's for people who are like looking for work...and like it's like you're ","and I'm actually in a really nice, calm space. I've got some music playing in the background and it's really nice. I feel like I'm actually doing pret","this is the first time I've been able to say all my thoughts out loud without correcting myself. it's kind of weird, but it's pretty cool. I can't rem","I'm sitting here, and I'm like, what time is it? And I'm trying to figure out if I should do a workout or not because I'm tired but I don't want to","yeah, itโ€™s just a little bit of a distraction, itโ€™s not like itโ€™s like you know like itโ€™s not a distraction, but itโ€™s like itโ€™s just itโ€™s something th","the most recent memory is, I guess I have one day, I guess, the most recent thing I can remember, I think is like, it's, it's probably like a few minu","just that I'm like, yeah, I'm just thinking, you know, I'm like working, like, yeah. I'm working and I'm like getting, like, a new phone and","[a]ll that I've done. I've done a lot of reading. A lot of. I've had a lot of time for reading. I mean. I've been reading a lot","I have a little thing I want to do... I want to make like... a little thing, like a like a like an... I don't know, I don't know what to say...","I don't think we got any of our 120000 people. Yeah, that's a really, like, really big number of people to get. I think it's really","and uh yeah so so it's just like it's like uh you you you you don't have the time to like process it you don't think it through and it's just you know","and if you can get your hands on the like, I think it would be a nice gift to you or a girlfriend or someone or whatever... and you can't get it from ","i got this, um, this is a weird thing about the way i see it, so i'm not sure if this is true or not, but the way that i see it is that the","and then the next morning i was just like why did you just say that to me because it was like i was like you know i was thinking i was like i would te","so we were like I think I need to get this and like a shirt and like a hoodie for like a new hoodies and like a hoodie or something for like a hoodie ","what's up with my throat and the cold? It's the only thing that's different for the whole session, right. I had a cold for two weeks and now it's gone","it's the middle of the day. I'm still very tired. I can't stop thinking about going out, going out to do something. I just keep thinking about it. It'","okay I'm talking to this girl on Snapchat and I'm like she's kind of a weird girl she's like she's pretty but she's a little weird she's kind of like ","a lot of my thoughts are like that. And I'm like, this is stupid. This is like, this should be like, like, I shouldn't think about this stuff. It's li","so I feel like I have to finish this paper that I started this week. I just feel like I didn't get to finish it and I just have so much else on my pla","I've got a question. I don't know. I'm still getting up to speed. I know what a lot of this stuff is, but I don't understand. Like, what's the","So I just want to figure out what's the best way to get more done in a day, because I'm like always like not very productive. So I think I want to lik","what am I saying, this is like, this is almost a, it's almost a, the title of the thing is almost like a joke, a play on words. A, so I'm","so I'm thinking about the last time I made a comment about some article on a news website. And it was something that I thought was really interesting,","[The narrator] is a computer science teacher, and one of their students [is] having trouble with an assignment in a class. [The narrator] had a discus","because we know that this is an idea that's already there. So we're going to do a little bit of a quick evaluation of it. And then we'll move on to th","I think I could do something with this. This is a really cool idea. I'm really interested in what I'm reading right now and I think it's worth a lot o","I had this dream last night about an ancient civilization that I was born into, that I've never heard of until I read about it. And it was actually a ","I was thinking about that, that like, if I was a doctor, I'd be like, if this is like, I'm gonna make a medical device and it's gonna be a kind of","I'm watching this video where they're showing the earth from space, and it's like the whole planet is a giant crystal. And I was just like, wow, the e","and then they are just, they're just like, they're not, they're kind of like this. Like they're not like this, they're like this. They're not like tha","like this, this is a very complex data structure, right? So this is this is this this is, this is like, you know, this is just this is just, this is i","it is something like a, a thing you know it's like an 8 ball pool and then there's the cue ball, that's like the player. And then they're all like, yo","I can't stop. I mean I want to keep playing. I'll be like this all my life. And I just keep going. And I don't want to stop. I just want to","and the thing is, like, what if I put a full stack of coins on the table and you, you just have to, you have to take one and keep it for a while and t","I have some things that are not true about myself. I have some things I do and I don't know about that. I know like I'm not a very good friend, I don'","what was this like before? ... it's been really hard because I just started ... like last month ... yeah, I didn't start like in the past month, but I","and it's just that, it's just like, what if it's a guy, like it could be a guy like, it's like, well, if it's not a guy, then","oh god i don't want to talk about it right now i don't know i don't even know why i said that because it's not like i'm talking about something i'm li","what's this? ... what's this? I think there's like 99, you know, something that's like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,","my head's floating in a big ocean... it's like it's floating inside of me... my body's like floating... like there's an ocean inside of me, like a gia","then what did they do? What do they do? ... what did they say? ... I don't know what they did? ... they must have just been standing there looking at ","and it's like this: he's gonna be this little kid, and he's gonna have this red ribbon on his head, and he has to, like, do this and do this, and","the idea of the future was... I was thinking about the future and then the idea of time was like a river... like the water... and then I was thinking ","I don't think I'm a god...I think I'm the most important person in the world. I'm the person that lives and breathes. I'm the thing that's inside you.","I was thinking about what it means to be in your twenties and to have everything to look forward to, and to have so much to look back at. You can have","and then I go outside and I go down this hill and it's a very steep hill, but then it's all like this, just like this, and there's like a giant like t","and then I felt really, really sad because I thought, I've got to make sure I get to see this. I want to go. And then I thought, this is too much. I","what do you see when you're on a hot day? I see the sun, the clouds, I feel the sun on my face. The sun, it's so hot. The sun... I","this is the song. It's kind of a song that's a lot of times, I have this kind of song that's kind of sad, I mean, this is like a really really sad","this is a dream...it feels like a dream...i'm...i'm running...i'm outside...i'm in the desert...i'm kind of in the desert..i'm outside,","it's hard to think about things with the sun. it's not like it's a thing you can think about and just have it be in your head...but you're in the sun ","I wonder if there are any other beings out there that are sentient, if they are like us. What would they look like? Maybe they would have something di","like a tree, you know, but instead of having leaves, it has tiny glowing pink mushrooms on the outside that have the same color as the leaves would ha","I am seeing a field. The sun is on the other side of me. I'm wearing a blue hat, and the sun is right on top of my hat. I'm looking at it,","I'm dreaming... and there's a cat in my lap, I'm looking at it, it's like I'm a cat, like the cat is a cat, but I'm the cat,","you don't know, but I don't know either. It's the kind of thing that you look at, and it's not something you would ever look at. You just see a spot o","and then he had a bad fall, but he still lived because he had a lot of strength. And his eyes are all different colors, but he has no eyelashes. I won","I am just going to lie here and think. I'll try to be quiet. I want to think about my thoughts. What happens when my mind goes blank? My heart beats f","I remember when I was younger I would just stand around and watch people on the street. And I would say to myself 'this is so pretty' and I would look","we are all looking at the stars. And then all of a sudden, a shooting star comes across, and I don't see it, but I just see it go by, like it's a","we're going to meet some friends, so we're going to play some games and sing and laugh and maybe share some stories. we're going somewhere beautiful, ","there was a bit of a sound like a door creaking shut... and then there was a light on the other side of the room and it was bright as hell and I went ","we are the ones who are alive. We are the ones in the world. We are alive. And then, the trees. They are also alive. They are alive. But they are diff","so, and so... it was me who told you to call me, the blue-haired girl! You are the blue-haired girls! Who is blue-haired girl? The blue-haired girl is","and there's no way of knowing what the sun looks like from the inside. It might look like a hot, angry orange, or it could be like a ball of fire and ","and so it was like... a lot like a mirror but the mirror was... was like a lot more... like a lot of... more like a mirror... but it was a mirror but.","and that's when I saw you, but you didn't see me. You just saw the light. So you went back in and went to see your parents, and you saw your parents, ","a man, I think, I can see him, in a state of high happiness, with a little, white, furry animal on his shoulder, and on his feet, a kind of pale,","I want to see my father... and mother, and brother, and sister, and mother-in-law, and father-in-law, too, and children... I want to see them all. I w","a house is built and filled with lights and water and a new flower, a plant of life. There is a bright blue sky above all and it is filled with white ","I know you're there, you are my mother. I don't know where you are, but I know you are there. You're always with me. I think you're here. You're","I love you so much. I love you, and I want you, and you are all mine and my whole life, and I'm not alone. I'm not in pain any more. I","I'm like a little bird. And I'm floating on a cloud. I'm watching it float on the wind. It's like I'm not alive anymore. I'm just an empty shell.","and in a moment I will be standing up, and there will be an old man, a very old man. He will be naked and his body will be made of water. He will have","the pain is terrible, and it is coming from deep inside. I feel as if my insides are burning, and I can't escape the pain. It burns and burns, and I c","I want you to be a good person and be gentle to everyone... and don't get angry... and love everyone... and forgive everyone... and be good, and don't","The song is like a book. Like a book written by a man and a woman. Like a poem by a man. But it is not. It is only a song. A book that tells","and it was on the day that the three children of the King of France came out of their prison, that he said to his people that he would build for them ","... I don't know why you have to ask me for the things I have already given you, because I have given it all to you already, my friend. I have given y","I'm sitting in a chair, and in the air before me, there is a pool of light that shines out of the wall. I can see in this light all the other worlds t","it's almost like I'm being struck by an invisible hand... it's a sensation of being struck by this hand that is invisible and without form, but has a ","the image of a little girl, who has no form or colour, but who is a living light. She has her eyes closed, and she looks like a baby, who is asleep, a","there is the word, 'DARLING', there, there, the word 'DARL-ING' and the word 'ING' is here and there is the word 'SWEET","and so my body began to move, my arms began to move like wings and the wind blew against me as I moved through the air, and it was an infinite beauty,","and the door opens, and he walks in and the door closes behind him, and the door stays open for a while, and the light from the doorway shines on his ","my god, I'm an angel, I'm the first angel on the planet and I'm in heaven. I'm the sun. I am the sun, the first sun and all the other sun","I've got a terrible feeling that I'm in the middle of the universe. A thought that I'm the middle of all things. I think I am, and I am everything. I ","we're all we are, are you, are you in the way... in the way, you're a thing and that's it... there's no... it's a thing and there's nothing","I have just had a thought that it is really a good thing that I was born and that you were born and that I am here. I am so grateful to have come to t","the small white thing that was so pure in the light of the light. And the light, the light that was pure in the white. And the white, the white that w","and you could be standing in this darkness and you could feel like you were falling, falling, falling. And it's like, like falling, like falling into ","and then suddenly he went dark. And I saw that it was in fact a place with an eye in it. And it was a mirror, a mirror. A mirror of a black place. And","and that I was a stranger, and I was standing at the window of an empty house. And suddenly, I saw the tree, the white tree, and the door of the house","I have a strange thought, like an image. It is a picture of my friend, a very old woman, my grandmother. She was an old woman. I think she is a thousa","and I see the garden, I see the earth, I see it turn to dust and become the garden. I see the tree, I see the birds, I see them flying and the air is","the music of the spheres, the sound of the spheres... I heard them moving and... they were very soft. And then they sang... and it was in a very soft ","I see myself... and it is a deep blue, a deep blue sky. The earth... I see a valley, I see the water of the valley, and on the water is a bridge.","but there were times, like now, when the darkness of the night is all around you, when you cannot find your way back to the earth. A shadow, like that","I was once again at the summit of the mountain... a blue light was on my right, to the north-east... and a red light to my left, to the west... I look","we see the water, the water, water is in our vision. And then a flash, a flash of light, and suddenly it is water and not light anymore. And in this w","a house. a big, empty, house. The windows were closed. The doors were closed. There was a strange smell in the air. The air was heavy with the smell o","I wonder what kind of people are living in these caves, if they can see through the walls of the cave, and what they're seeing? How do they feel? What","and a woman came out of the mountain and she was carrying a baby in a basket, and she came over to the lake and threw the baby into the lake. She was ","the memory of you, the memory of my brother. I cannot forget them. They were two children of my mother and father, who were of the same species as mys","a light goes up, a light goes down. The sun rises and sets, the moon rises and sets...there's no such thing as night, only darkness, the eternal darkn","there is a name for the highest god in the world: the mother of all gods, the mother of the world, the mother, the earth, the great mother. She is the","[T]he fact of God, the fact of Christ, the fact of the Holy Spirit, are not only to be believed, but to be meditated on, as things infinitely great, i","I know that this is not the end of the story, and that if there is one, it is in a certain way to be found in the last book. But there is something mo","I'll go to the university, to the university. I'll go and study, and I'll become a scholar of this, I don't know. I know the name of the person I woul","what can I say, what can I tell? I don't know. It's so far, far away. I don't even know how to tell it, how to speak it. But I","that is what is not written; it is what is written; and it is written. That is what is hidden, that which is shown. What is not written, that is writt","I have come to know the whole of the universe, and all the secrets of it; and in the deepest recesses of my mind I have found all the words that are n","I want to create a world for you. I don't want to be able to destroy it, nor to create it without the ability to destroy it. I want to create this wor","and then the light. The light came to me. I saw it. I saw the light. I saw, but not the light. It was not the light I saw, it was the light","I am a woman who loves the world as it is and not the way it should be. And I see that the world is perfect, and that all of the beings who dwell here","I am looking at the mountain of the mind. The mountain of the mind is the mountain of all the thoughts that come and go in the mind. It is the mind it","I saw a man in the street, and he was moving about the street in a certain way. He had a look of fear, and he walked in a certain direction. It was no","I have a little box, and in it I have put a little light which I call the Light of the Universe. And I say to the little light of the Universe: I wish","and then the man that I love, he is a good man. He is a man of God, he is faithful to God. And then his love is so great that it is beyond anything th","I am here... I am here. I am not the body. I am the Soul. I am eternal and infinite. The body is finite and temporal. I am God... I am God in","And then it occurs to me that I have to die, I have to pass on. There is a kind of light that I must pass on, because it has been created by me, and t","the blood... it's flowing, it's flowing... it's going... the blood... the blood, the blood... is coming... is coming from the mouth of the dead... fro","and she, I was just about to say that, that she had fallen down in front of the temple, and she was trying to reach out her hand, but she had no stren","I'm talking about the things that we can't know, because we've got no power over them. So I can only know the things that are within my power. But we ","I don't know why I'm here, why I'm doing this, I don't know, I don't have the words to say it, I don't understand it, I have no concept","[T]here was a voice in the void, and there was a man and the man spoke and the words fell away and were broken into atoms and there was light and ther","I'm watching it fall ... The things we are trying to get rid of ... But when we try to get rid of something, we are trying not to be. There's no way o","a world, and all worlds, are a little like our world, in which there is no man, and the universe is infinite and the universe cannot be created by any","all this is not the answer; it is not the end. All this is only a part, a small part, of the whole answer to the question, 'Why are we here?' And ther","I am here in the presence of my thought, as if it were a real thing, and I am also aware of my consciousness as a consciousness. In this state there i","the most beautiful of all thoughts, is the thought of the beauty of all things, the thought that the thought of beauty is the thought that contains al","the second, which is the second time the mind is separated from the body, it is, as I say, the mind of the second time, which is eternal, and this ete","The first part is the initial condition. The initial condition is the void. The void is a vacuum. The vacuum is an absence of form. There is only empt","then I thought that there was this world that was outside of our mind, and then I thought it was only because of the world that we could understand. B","and suddenly I found myself at the bottom of an abyss, which I could not even comprehend, even though it was obvious. And the only way to get out of t","we are on the cusp of a new era. The consciousness of the future is at the gates. The earth is alive. We are one. Our consciousness is an infinite oce","there are two points of view in this universe: that of the observer and that of the observed. The observer is the mind, the observed is everything els","I have to leave the place, it's getting dangerous. But if I can't be with you, and I have no idea who I am, and I don't know where I am or how","The center, the heart of the universe, the heart that is the center of the universe. This is the center. This is my center, the center of my being, th","there's something about me and the light that's always there. It's always there, and it's in the dark and it's not that I'm there, I am, and yet, I","my mind was always open to anything... I always had an open mind... I had been so focused on my thoughts, and now it was a different thing that I was ","And now a new feeling is born in me, this time of infinite light, this time I know myself, I know that I exist, I know what I am. I feel the whole of ","and it's all about the body, and the body's here, and it's all just here, and the mind is an expression of the body, or is part of the body or the bod","I feel like a monkey. I think of myself as a monkey. And a monkey is not just an animal, not just a creature, but is also a culture. The culture of mo","so the question arises, what is the meaning of all this, what is my meaning in the universe? What am I doing? Why do I do that, and why do I be so and","And the first word that comes to my mind is... well, it is very strange, I have no idea what is going on in my head, why this word is coming out of my","[I]n the first place, I should say I am aware that I am a being, that is, that I exist. That is not an opinion, it is a fact. I exist","the past is a function of the present; the future is a function of our own personal choices. This is a very subtle statement. You can't see it clearly","this is a feeling. I think, what is it? I'm aware of it in a way. I think of it as the first of what I will call the feeling, this thing I am","the difference between an act and what is meant by it, between the way it is, and the way it can be...this is what I think is a mystery, that it is th","The word, the word that you want, that you really, really want, to come into your mouth, is the word that is to be the name of God. This is what I've ","I have no idea why. But there's a mystery here. What am I? And what am I doing here? What does this body do? This is a body, not a soul. It","the way one thinks is in a certain way like the way one speaks, that the thought is not something that is hidden, but that it is a public act, it is a","and here are the facts, there are the facts. Now what is the truth? It is the truth. And I will get there. I will get the truth, in some way. So it","[my] thought that is this... [a] thought that... [is] this... is a... that... [I] don't know... that I don't know what it is.","in a few moments you'll be in the hospital... you'll be sitting there, you'll be aware of all this and you'll be thinking, what is the purpose of all ","and I'm at a certain point where I am doing things, and there is a certain point in the life that we're in now, and I'm trying to describe this, which","but I know that that's not necessarily true, I know that there are things that you do that have no meaning that are, that you can't even say that they","And we were so caught up in the moment and in the beauty of it all that we didn't know that we were not alone. We were in a world that was already the","my God, it seems there is a gap between me and myself. But there is no separation between me and this thing I have discovered in myself. It seems, wha","a mind that is thinking of nothing has no energy. That is a fact of experience. This is the second kind of emptiness. In emptiness there is no energy.","there are a number of things that make my brain not work. One of them is the fear that my brain will stop working. But I am not concerned about that. ","I'm trying to think about something. I can't think about anything. I can think about myself, but not about the content of myself. I can only think abo","so it's about to happen, you know, and you can't escape from it, you know. This is a very serious problem that is about to happen. And how can I preve","there are these moments, these glimpses of the pure present, of the eternal. Then, suddenly, we feel that the world around us is alive, and that the w","I am looking at my body. I am aware of my body. This is the body. It is the only body. I know it and I know myself, I am aware and I am conscious","what are we? what is this? what is the point of being here? is there any point? is there anything? is this even worth it? what is it that is happening","[the] eye is not a lens, it is a mirror... but it is a lens through which we see. Through the eye we see the world... The world is the lens through wh","the movement of this body, I am becoming more aware of the movements of this body as it moves. And the movement of the body, as it moves, is not a mov","I'm in a state of unconsciousness in which my consciousness is aware of the whole system, but does not act. It is not just a state of rest, but a stat","and I thought I've got an idea. I was trying to think of the meaning of life. It's like I'm a computer, and I've got this program, this meaning of lif","I'm thinking of my brain and what the brain does, which is to make decisions, to make plans, to do things, and then to take the resulting actions. I'm","And that's the story of the whole universe and everything. Everything is just a pattern. But it's not really a pattern, because if it was, it would ha","I see. I have the feeling, and I'm not sure it's right, but I have the impression that when I go out into the world, my perception is actually a proce","you can't have anything but experience, or nothing at all. And when you can't have experience, it's not experience, it becomes just a non-experience. "],["I'm working on a research project on the use of cognitive restructuring for chronic pain management. The cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown t","I have a really vivid dream where I have a very nice relationship with someone. And then we get in an argument, and I think that the reason why this i","you know, this is the first time that I'm going to actually say out loud that I'm here, you know, for me, this is going to be a very, very interesting","the... the... the... how is the world?... how is everything, how is the... how am I?... I am well, I feel good, but I'm a little worried about","And then the problem is that there's always the next person, and we get stuck on the next person and then we're all kind of stuck, because we never re","I think this is the worst of all, because it's not just the same, it's not the same for me. It's not the same thing. It's the same thing, but I","The first is the one I'm going to put on. So that I have to take a very good look at it because I'm going to make some choices. So I'm going to look f","and then it's just like you're seeing it through the wrong end of the lens and everything is upside-down, it's like this is how you would see it if yo","you can see it, you can see the building, the building is there, it's just the shadow of the building is blocking it. And you can see in the middle of","I am trying to think of a word to describe the relationship of this painting to the other paintings in the room. I've seen them all now but I didn't s","there is an apple and an orange and a banana. Now the banana is an orange, but the orange is still an orange and it's not a banana. It is the same thi","a cat that is a little cat that is smaller than a medium cat is a small cat, a medium cat, that is smaller is a small cat. Is a small cat a smaller ca","a big bag of coffee beans ... and ... I wonder what they ... and ... this one, this one and this one are the same ... and then maybe it's not ... oh, ","just the opposite of that, I remember the first time I came down a flight of stairs, and it was all kind of in one piece. Then I saw the other way, an","... ... ... ... The next one was, oh, no, I'm not going to do it again, no. [pause] The next one, I don't know what this is. It","it's just not true, I just don't think it's true, there's just no way I'm going to believe this, I don't think this is true, I don't believe this","I mean I'm not sure if this is a good idea, I don't think so, maybe, you know, maybe it would be better to go through the other path and go to the oth","and then I will go down there and, and do I want to go to a different store? No, no. I'm fine with the store. Then I'll go to the store. So","The kids. [Says a name. Probably a kid at school.] So you want to do it at school, but you don't know where you want to go. So, we want to","what's going on? I'm here and I'm thinking I'm here. I'm trying to think of something. I'm going to go for a walk. It's 6 o'clock and","what is a bird? I don't know what a bird is. I think a bird is a thing that flies. Well, a bird is something that flies. That's a bird. I know","I'm just gonna have to go and get the book...it's a book..oh no, I can't do it..oh...what do I do?...I'll just have to get","this is the 3rd time I've made this video... and I haven't watched it yet... maybe it's a loop... or maybe this video will never end... or maybe I'll ","okay, so, the reason I'm here is because I'm really tired, so I think I'm gonna sleep... it's 2am and my mind is racing and I'm not sure what","then there was a cat in the kitchen and then the cat went up on the chair and then i was like i need to get the cat off the chair so then i got a broo","we'll go to the store and buy some apples. I know, I'll put the apples in the bag and then go to the grocery store and get some bananas. then I'll go ","you're an idiot, you're an idiot. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,","[35.7] i'm not sure what i'm gonna do tonight i'll think about it some more. i'm not too happy about the price of gas, but i don't think","'in the sky'... I'd like to go in the sky. I think the sky is... oh I dunno, 25,000 feet high. Oh, the sky","18.24 ... 38 37 2.10 ... 1.26 ... 1 2 4 6 8 10 2","yeah, I can't figure out what I'm doing, this is dumb. I'm in the living room, sitting on the couch, and my mom's in the kitchen...huh...h","I was thinking that you can't see my lips anymore, and then I realize I'm not looking at the screen, I'm looking at the room. And I wonder if there ar","i am thinking about... i'm thinking about... oh, i'm thinking of... yeah, i'm saying... i'm saying out loud... i'm imagining... what if... i'm... i","and this is an example, this is an image and then, and then, like, just a really good one, this is, it's the, like, this is the, this is this","we can say that this is what it looks like, but there's always a little bit more that we could say or add to make it complete. So let's go back and ad","[ ] It's not just the question [of] whether we're awake, but is this part of that process? If we're not awake, what are we? [ ] and are we still","1+1+1=3... 1+1+1... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9... 10 1","it's a little bit too small ... this is the third ... okay ... one, two, three...[pause] one, two [pause] one ... one two two one [pause] two","I am here, I am here, here, here. I am here. I'm here, here, I'm here. I... I am here? I am here, my fingers are here","The three points on a circle ... the circle ... is it ... I draw ... the three points on the circle ... I can draw it ... three points on ... I have t","and then I get out of the water, I get out, then I jump into a car. I jump into the car, and I drive, and I see a car in front of me,","and then I think of it being the opposite, it being a circle going the other way, going back, then coming out of the center and going back to the same","I think I remember the person who gave me the thing. She's tall, with a black shirt and jeans. The shirt is white. She's kind of like a fairy tale pri","and this is what I do when I'm writing a poem. I take a blank page and I think about a picture that I want to make with my words. Then I start writing","5014 ... 2538 2708 ... 6315 ... 1498 2500 ... 3280 ...","... 36.1.6.4.6.15.14.5.6.2.5.5.3.6.3.4.5....","the [black] line [above the center line] is moving a little bit, [moving down] then [moving up] and [moving down], [moving down and up] then [up","I've just noticed a '1' on my hands, and it's a 1 on my left hand. I've got a 1 here...I've just noticed that 1 has moved","the dark, the light, the dark... (a pause) ... the dark, the dark, dark... (another pause) ...the dark, ...the light, the light the light. ...","now, we're in a black field, and we're flying through the field at a speed. And the field is getting smaller and smaller as we go. And the black field","I see the door, a door, and it's a very thin door. I see the wood. I see a crack. I see one of the pieces of wood. I'm looking at a","and I see the big box in the centre of the picture and I see the red box in the upper left, and then the green one in the middle, and then this purple","I'm seeing a couple of people coming in... and one's a woman and one's... and then there's a guy, and I'm seeing two of them and then... and one of th","I was on a long walk down the road, and I was looking for a place where I could sit, and there was this long grassy area, and I looked and saw a littl","and the sky is like a huge blue cloth, and the light is a little bit dimmer, and I can see the lights on the hill that's kind of far away, and I'm sit","it's not like when you walk on the beach. it's more like... like you have a river flowing underneath you and you're just like you walk down the river,","(something about) a small red house, with the front door wide open. A very small, red house, (something about a little girl or something) (something a","the light, I see it coming in, it comes in, I see this light, I feel the light, I go outside, it's blue, it's like I'm looking out the window","and he was right there, the yellow square, it's a yellow square, and then it's the light and then there's another yellow square and then the light and","it's like when you get out of the shower and your skin is all red, and your body feels good, like, you're feeling it, it's like that, when you're in t","I've got something in my hand that's a little bit hard. It's a little harder than something else I'm holding. This is the one that's a bit harder. And","and I just know I'm going to die on my way to my house, and there will be no flowers on my grave.... And I think I'm going out to get something from t","I've never had a dream like that before, a big, long dream with a lot of pictures and shapes and sounds. I had one once that was so scary it made me c","(and) the old house had the porch that was painted black, but the fence was white. It's a dark porch, and it had a porch swing with the screen porch s","like a butterfly, a little butterfly, a butterfly, an orange butterfly, a brown butterfly. That's a nice butterfly. Now, like a butterfly, and a butte","I have two brothers...I have a sister. We live in a big house on a hill. And there are three of us. We are not little but we are big. We live on a","all the lights on the building, it's a blue light, and the white light. Like that, then the blue and the white together like that, like a diamond. And","It's raining again... it's a light rain... I was just thinking about the rain... I think that the rain is very nice... I think that it is nice on the ","I see a little house...that's my home. It has a red door...I am outside on a lawn with a little dog, a small dog. The dog is white. It barks","[S]o I got my bicycle, and I got it from [R], and I got her bike from [N]. I got it out the back of the shed. I think it's","I'll tell you the secret of it. The secret of it is that I can't see it. I don't see it at all. I'm so busy looking at it I don't think","I could almost see the old one standing up there, with his hands down, and his feet a little apart, and his face all turned up, so he couldn't see me.","I am looking for the perfect word to describe the color of the water. There is a word for the color of the grass, and the color of a rose. It is a bea","and then it's like this, you know, and it goes up and down and down like a pendulum and then it goes all around. And I guess there's a moon, too, with","I wonder... why not put on some socks on the chair? ... I wonder why I don't like it. ... Maybe it would be nice to put on a stocking over the chair? ","and I was just thinking of how I never used to be able to read and I think that was because when I was a baby I would get frightened and I would curl ","I can see the hillside covered with the big white flowers. They have such soft pink centers, and I like the pink and white together. There's so many o","I wonder, in my mind, if I could have had a little more patience, a little more understanding. I could have put myself in their shoes. I could see wha","I could see the snowflakes on the ground. And the sun was shining, and there were clouds over the mountain. I could see them like a blue sky with litt","you know I can't help it if I remember, you see, if I remember those memories, they come and I can't stop them. I just can't help myself, can't stop t","there's this fellow, you know, he's the fellow who's got a hat on his head that's green and his vest is a kind of grey colour and he wears a white tie","and the horse went by. No, that's not quite right. It was the horse. Now the horse, and the horse. No, now the horse, with a brown coat, and a","I just went to see a woman with an accident. Her leg is in a cast. She is going to need two and a half days to be out of hospital. Her mother said she","and it was going to be all right, if I could just get the girl to do it. The girl was going to do it; she'd do it, that's all. She'd do","and all that business with the goblins. The goblins? They don't seem to be any fun. No fun at all, that's what I say. They don't. And the g","The little dog. It's all the same, but he'd just as soon take to his heels, and be off to his master, as he'd go and play with you. And the cat","we were up all night, and he couldn't go to sleep, and I didn't want to go to sleep. We were just like that. Then I took him up on the roof, and","I must remember that we have not been so happy in the world as in the winter; we were very well then, I do think, very well: and yet, when we are tire","I was going to say 'that's a good idea!' and then I remembered I can't have any more tea. It's all gone, and I've got nothing more to eat but the end","but the doctor says I can't have it, it's all bad news for me, I can't, and then I'll have to come here to see you and get it changed, I don","there are two kinds of people who know what they want: they don't want anything and they know it. And the rest of us are as good as those two kinds of","this is where it comes from, and you can see that this is a small spot. And this is where the second one came from; I don't know how to draw it, but y","there is no end, that's the way it is. It is not like the river, which has an end. There is no end to it. ...And then I thought, 'It is","It's been a very long time since I've had a holiday. I never could take a holiday, but I did once for a week. I used to take a holiday in a certain ho","[The room is dark.] I think I've had a good day today. I've had quite a few things on my mind, but I think I am able to forget them. I don't","the first day that we were over here, I was a little bit shy and didn't like to go up to the people because they looked so hard. But they were very ni","[S]o the whole idea of getting the kids out to play is, I think, just as bad as putting them in the kindergarten. We don't want them to get out there ","I've got a friend that's married, and she's a teacher at a public school, and I was told by a friend, one of my friends, that she was going to tell my","we'd all be dead. We're just like that. It's terrible. I don't think we could stay here, but we're going to have to, if we can. They can't","and then we got her to run off to a playmate and I had her, and then she was like the little old lady at the hotel, she was such a little old lady and","I guess there's only two things I can remember. One is that I remember the old girl was just a little baby and she had a scar on her head like I did, ","You have a great voice, the girls like your voice, but they are so pretty, I can't help it, you know. Well, you will have to make the best of it, I","so she can't be very young, that's all. And her father's not the kind of man to leave her alone. So I'll come back here, and I'll tell him he's","the doctor's and the dentist's and the lawyer's, the doctor, the dentist, the doctor and the dentist. Why, I knew the doctor had two brothers. I knew ","and I'm going to take a picture of the 'cigar' in the glass. It's the man in the uniform. He's an officer of the law. He's going to arrest me","and so they all got married, and they all went into the woods together and built a cabin, and they built a dam up there and they had a boat and they h","and he was coming down with pneumonia and we didn't have enough to feed him. We had a big hen. We couldn't afford to feed the hen, so we killed the he","I don't know how I came to be here. I can't remember a thing. What are you people doing here? Why have you come here? You're all like white devils. I","we can't stop 'em, the 'Jews'โ€”I mean 'emโ€”ain't got no way to stop 'em; they're all over the country. I wouldn't like to","we could give it to him. I wonder if he'll be satisfied? If he will keep the house and give us the other money. If he will be satisfied. I think he'll","I'll be damned, and I don't care what anybody says, I'm going to make it in this life, and I'm going home. I'll have it my own way when I get","well, I'm trying to think, but I can't think of anything else. Well, I'm glad the old woman's not here to hear me think this. I wonder if it was true","there's something in the sky. You can see the wind. I can feel it. I can smell it. I can hear it, and I can taste it, too, and feel it.","the birds were singing in the trees. They're singing so nice...there were all kinds of birds singing, but I only heard the robins and the orioles. The","and, what was that?... That? I don't know. I don't like it. I don't think it's right, don't like that. I think I'd like to get","oh! That's right, I thought about the way I'd be if I married Mr. B...you know, the way he'd look on me, if I married him. I'd be","I'll tell you what happened. I don't want to go on. I think I'll tell you about that. I can't say where it is, but I've got one here. That","it's my fault. I've got to see her. I'd better do something. I've made a lot of money, haven't I? I'll give it to her. She's so","it was like he was right under the house and the house was a long way away, and he was under it, but I couldn't see him, only the floor and the wall w","they say the whole world's a joke. All the kings and queens and princes and ladies, and all the ladies' maids and footmen and all the rest of them, ar","I shall have my eye on her all day. She was a fine looking creature. Her head was all a-wagging, like a duck's. I shall have her. She shall be a","I feel so pleased, I say, 'I'll tell you what we'll do. I'll get a man to fetch you up to the door of the room, and you can stay there.","but I was so cold. I can't stand cold. And it was raining, and it was so cold, and I'd been up since six o'clock and I couldn't sleep and the bed","it's all very well, but when he did get up on the table, he got a bit of a start in the knees, and he got a little bit of a kick up his bottom,","and you were asking for me. I don't know how to get to you. You'll have to write. You were asking for a letter. I'll write a letter to you and send it","well, it's about time somebody did something, that's all. It's about time I did something about it, about that damned house. And about me and my mothe","we have to make her think we've had an accident, you know, I'm not going to stand for that. ...No, no, no, I'm going to get her to think we","and there she is now, and she's a fine looking young lady, and I expect she's married. And if she was married she's an old woman to me. I hope she's m","oh, he'll never be there...and it will be so...terribly...silly...and that makes me think about all the silly things I did when I was a girl. I went","they'd go to the old place...and she'd have a baby...and she was a good, sweet girl...they'd have a big old family of them...and they'd live at the","a girl with red hair, that's her, the one you've been wanting to meet, for ever. That's her. What was her name? Oh, it was Lina. No,","and I'm so sorry I didn't have a chance to write down your name. I was afraid to ask you for it. I don't think it would have been the same. I don't","I think you might have told me about the man with the red hat. You said he was a little man, and he was carrying a red bag and had a little red hat on","and you just love to see all that lovely green grass, and you just stand and watch, and look, and think, and wonder what it was that made her give all","well, I think I've got to tell you something about me. It's this way: I've had a hard time ever since I was born. I don't know why, but I was","And then he fell back on the bed and he was trying to get up and the water was in his mouth and then he looked over and he saw the water was over his ","The door was ajar, the curtain drawn across the window. I looked out, but could not see anything. I stepped close and opened the door, and in a minute","I was lying down. I'm lying down. It's like this. I was lying down, and I could have been dead, for I don't know why, but it was as though I","the best way to kill you, is to burn you, you know that, you know you don't want it, you know it's true; it's too much. They burn people in England","there is a man, a young man, a handsome, young, man, and a woman, a woman, not young but not old, and a child, and a baby, and they are","it's just like you were the other night. Just like you were, and you were telling me about the man who had been put in the coffin, and he was covered ","you can't say it's nothing. I just think he's a good boy. You wouldn't have wanted him to marry. He's a good looking boy. And he's been so kind.","now I'm thinking of a very long time ago, and my father and mother was a great big couple. They'd always been a great big couple, but they were so hap","and they went away from him, for they feared the Lord, and said, 'It is better for us that one dead man should arise than that another should die'....","I am still in the valley, still there with you, and we are waiting for you to come back. And I want you to know that you can always come to me if you ","the idea of that night, my first night with you, and how it ended. He took the baby and went away. I had no other thought than that. Then I had the id","I am sitting in the garden with my dear child. We are sitting in the middle of the lawn and it's raining, it's raining... I'm sitting with my dear, de","a whole bunch of people have come over. I've got a great big supper. I've had such a lot of friends here that I've got to go away to-night and come ba","and then we'd go back and see about getting the stuff taken away. Oh, I say, we'd do that. Oh, we'd go and get the stuff taken away, and then I","It was a small church, in a village near where we were living. They used to have a service every morning, and every night, and sometimes they had a se","and then I thought, well, it's getting late; I had better get back to my own place. So I went to the railway station and I walked back to the village,","what's wrong with people? Why do they get all upset? Why don't they live as they ought? I'm sure they must be sick, don't you think? If a person's sic","now the sun's coming up, and we're going to have a warm, glorious summer day, and the sky's going to be a great big blue, and the roses will be in blo","and when I was at the railway station in Munich I felt as though I were in a dream and the train was coming up. I saw the little train coming up, and ","but there is one thing that has always fascinated me. If you only think of it you would come to the conclusion that I could see the face of a man in t","and I wanted to be on a ship at sea with the waves and the sun and the wind, and to swim in the sea and to dive in and out of the sea and into the sea","I can see the sun setting on a long stretch of a beautiful beach. A sea of people and a sea of white surf. I am on the beach in a sea of people. A bea","we have been to a great many places and done many things. In the first place, there are the days before the birth of our Lord, when we had to do much ","a man and a woman standing on a sea-shore. A storm is coming on. The wind howls. The sea is dark and the rain falls in torrents. And they are looking ","[to a memory of a walk in the country, of a river] There, the moon was up; that was the evening of the 24th of May. Now I can remember it","you know it's the same thing, the same thing all over the place. The same thing. You know that it's just like. Like in the story of the book I've been","and now I see the mountains in the distance...and that's just across the lake. And you can see that the sun's going down in the distance and the water","I feel the warmth of the sun. It is hot. It is still too hot. It will be too hot in the afternoon. It is getting hot here. I think of the hot, hot","and that's it. And then the wind was coming, and the wind was blowing. And the wind was like a bird. And the bird flew along with me. And the birds we","And here it is, the sun is shining, and it's a nice day, and you know I can't stay here for the sun's going to get too hot for me, and I'd","there's a light, it's the first thing I think of when it's cold, when I go outside I think of the first light and the birds sing, the little birds, an","I am writing to a friend in California, she writes, and says that her cat has died and it was a very old cat. She says he was black and white, with a ","And it's the third day of Christmas and I'm up on the roof now. I've been out on the roof a lot, you know, just because I was looking for the roses an","I can't help thinking what a nice, neat little place this is. It would be so easy to make the whole thing into a garden. It's lovely. The woods are lo","It's the same here. I remember it, it was a beautiful place. Now the people have all gone and it's not very pleasant. It's the same, isn't it? It's","this is the way the world is; the world is not the way it is; it is the way it seems to be. There is a cloud of stars, and then there is another, and","the first was the sea, the second, a forest, and the third, the sea again. The sea and the forest, and then the sea once more. This was my dream, and ","And the idea of a river...I think it's a river which flows through my dream, and through my imagination. And there's a river in my dream, which is so.","and the one who said, 'You are my bride,' is a child. He came to play on the ground with a little one of the world, and the child, she, is like the","what's the reason I didn't write the end of it? Well I've been very busy lately. And I've been working a lot at my novel, which is a very great deal o","and I remember going to a party the other night. I was going with a couple of friends, and we were sitting on the porch of the party and we were talki","that's about all I can think of. I've been reading all sorts of things. I was going to talk about something that was going on at a club. There was an ","it's not like a movie or anything. You don't see anything and hear something else. You hear the music and you know you're in a movie but the thing is,","we don't get much out of the radio now. We don't listen to it much anymore, except for a few programs we have, but there aren't many radio programs at","I had been thinking about the water. The water's on the floor, and the carpet, and in the bathtub, and I thought of the water in the sea, and how it w","it's so easy, it's so simple to think. I don't know what it is. It's like the light of a thousand candles... a thousand candles, I don't have enough c","and the sound is from inside the room, and I'm sitting on a chair, in the room and the sound is coming out of the chair and it's coming out of my hand","And you can do that too, because you are me. But you are not me, and I am not you. We are not. We are. We are both me and you. We both","I remember when we used to have, in our own house, that huge mirror in our living room. And I used to say to my husband, 'What does it mean that we ha","Now, here I'm a little girl, and I'm standing in my parents' room, and I'm trying to put on my nightgown. I'm just beginning to try to put on","this is a really nice picture of you, and you have this beautiful face and your eyes, they're blue, you've got these big, long eyelashes, and this lov","the kind of thing I think of when I look at the sun, like this, it's so bright. I just don't know, I'm thinking about the sun, I'm trying to think","so he is walking along the road and he has a big, big, big stone in his hand and he's going to throw it to the man who is going to help him and he is ","it's the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the waves crashing in the bay of the north. The waves are crashing on the bay of San Francisco. Tha","now we're going to go into the city and the city is going to be the city and I'll tell you how we'll do it. I'll tell you this first. We will build it","I remember going to a place down by the river, and I remember this woman coming out of the river and she was beautiful, but she wasn't really, you see","that's funny, I never thought I would see a man with a big, black mustache, and a gold tooth and all. The man with the mustache, he said, 'I'm","the big one, the biggest of them all. That's the big one. And they say it's got the biggest head. They say it's the biggest one in the world. And they","the two of us sat down by the side of the road in front of a little cottage and I asked him to tell me about his mother. I don't think he had told any","this is a little woman and she's about your age, I suppose. And she's been talking to you, and she's been telling you about this lady, this great lady","all the other kids on the street, and there was one of them that said, 'Look at this' and it was just like this big bag full of sand and I thought, 'W","I'd like to know more about it, what you're trying to say. It's a lot of money, isn't it, I don't know anything about it. The house and all.","and then one of my teachers told me he had a book with an old poem about a man who was about to be hanged, and he had to make up the verses at the end","[I]f I could come over here, then you'd never be alone... No, I can't do it, it's a long way. No, I couldn't do that...I","I've been thinking about what you told me about your mother's house. I see it in my mind, a little house with a white door and a red door, like a hous","and I went to the park... and saw a lot of kids playing. One little girl had a little doll, and I wanted to give her some money. But the old woman did","there is an old story that we read once in school, and it was about the king and the pig, and how they got into the hole, and how the king got out, an","there's a boy there that's going to take me home. You'll see, he's the one and only. And he has a mother, a little baby. They all went away. And","and you get up and you go to the door and you put on your clothes, and you go into the kitchen and you get your lunch. You see, I was a real big girl ","and I think that I think I think I know where the dog is... but I can't remember where I saw her... oh, I know, in the hayloft... oh, it is","and the wind blew, and I ran across the bridge... and the sun shone in, and the rain came down. The wind blew, the rain fell, and I went on my way.","now I'm going to sing you a song. Now listen to me sing you a song and see if I don't sing you a good one. There's a boy lived in a town; he","[singsongly] What a pity about that boy. I can't go to sleep at all tonight. [sings] It was a lovely day, that was, but it's all","I know I've got to be going. And I want to go home and say good night to my baby and have a nice cosy bed and have a good sleep. I think I've been dre","and it's a big old, big old world and it's not a very nice world and you don't know where it's going to go next. And the poor thing's gone, it's","Oh, here's one. Oh, yes, yes. And I'm thinking of that old poem that we used to sing when I was little. And it was sung to the tune of 'Come","Oh, my dear boy, where did you go? And did you have a good time? Did you have much fun, dear boy? And did the little girl go to the sea with you,","And the wind in the trees, and the birds and the ducks, and the deer and the rabbits and the sheep and the pigs, and the ducks. They were all there in","It's like a song that you love, but you can't find a key. I mean the song doesn't matter, you can do it with anything. You just make a song, and that","the cat's eyes are very green and the sky is blue and I was looking at the sky and I was thinking about the cat and I was wondering why the cat was wa","my little girl's got the best hair in the world ... I wonder why ... well I know why. Because her dad has the best hair. She's got my hair ... that's ","a boy walks a little way and stops to look at a butterfly on a dandelion. He picks it up and puts it on a stone. The butterfly takes off and goes to s","oh, and the girl in the red dress, she's got the red hair too, and a big nose and red eyes, and a red hat and a red bag, and the dog's got","we are having a fight....they're fighting...we're fighting...they're fighting....they're not fighting....we are fighting...they are not fighting...we ","I'm in the car. I'm in the street, driving the car, and a policeman, he says, 'How much do you think a good woman is worth?' and I says, '","[the]... [the] ... the... the... the ... the... (pause) ... the... ... the...... (pause)... the... (beat)... the... [the... [","my thoughts were all about the thought of the water, but it was not about the water. It was about a voice, it was a voice which would be singing a son","oh! Oh! Oh! oh! Oh oh oh oh! Oh. Oh! Oh, oh oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, Oh, oh! oh! oh oh oh oh","I wonder how long it will be before I stop?... I wonder how long?.. I wonder if I can... I wonder if it is not already too late?.. I wish I'd known","and in the morning you see the sun rise and then it is so bright and you cannot see anything, but the sun rises and then the light comes and you see y","and I thought I knew that I couldn't die, I could never die because I am so alive, I have a new thought and I said, I'm not afraid of anything. I know","and then there was an angel. And then there was a voice, and I thought it was the angel. And I heard the voice say, 'I am the angel of death, and I wi","the last one, oh my, oh, oh! Oh, I see the last one now. Oh, I'm thinking of something else, I'm sorry, it's so good to hear your","and it is a little girl and it is singing and it is saying the song of the little bird, and the little bird is flying, it is flying to the trees, to t","I wonder why I can't say the same words. And then I think I may be losing it. I wonder what happened to me, what have I done. Oh no. No. Oh dear","and I want to see if I can make myself sleep, as I could see a little, when I was very little and I was a little boy. And I am going to make it like t","I'd like to die... I would like to die in my bed... I don't think that it matters whether I sleep or wake, or whether I am alive or dead... If I die,","and then it all came together. I knew who I was, I was born here, and I knew who my parents were. And then I felt a strange movement, something like a","the day will come when we will all have been released from these prison-houses. ...and that the earth will be a living and joyful land. The dead will ","we'll be going to the land of the dead, and there we'll be looking at the body of the woman; the woman who was our mother, the body that had given bir","in a place I don't know but know very well, I'm sitting on a bench beside a fountain. I see a fountain, and I see a lot of other things; the moon, sta","[My eyes] look at the sky and see the blue... and... look at the blue... in the sky... the blue... sky... the earth is round... and... I walk... with","my heart is sick, my heart is dead, I am dead. It has died. It is no longer alive. It has been eaten, by a serpent. It has turned to mud. And","and, how many more? - Six hundred and sixty-one. And the sixth hundred and sixty one? - Well, then the hundred and sixty first and the one. But it doe","we had a dream yesterday about a little boy with a long white beard and his little hand was covered with long white nails. He was standing near us. We","my friend the Duke of Urbino who was a painter in that time, he painted that picture. It is a painting that is the portrait of the Madonna, it is in t","and we find a boy, and we make him walk about. And we make him speak a word, and we let him speak again. And we find another boy, and make him walk, a","I have a presentiment, and I want to tell you, I am going to give birth to a daughter. I was on my way, the daughter was born, she is dead. I shall","this is a beautiful, a beautiful poem: 'I will not weep when you go, but I will cry for you when you come.' And when they say to me: 'Is he alive","The past is never lost, but preserved forever in memory...in memory. How is it preserved? The past lives in the present, the present is not only the s","I have a presentiment, that there will come a time when the world, that is, our earth, will have reached the point where it can no longer give life to","I've had to admit that I'm not a real poet, but a writer, I suppose. My poems are not pure, and in fact the prose is more pure than the poetry. Poetry","in this universe of the material we live in, is this the only possible way in which we live, and is the world of spirit only a figment, and nothing? T","I have a dream of the perfect man. He is a man who is a complete and perfect man. And he is a man whose image is complete. And he has all of the attri","I am not a thinker; I am a writer. I write sentences in my own mind. I have no other business than to write sentences. And there I am, thinking. My th","I'm in the middle of an old story, I'm in the process of writing it. I'm in an old house. I'm going to tell you about it. I think that I'm","I am walking up a steep slope, looking down from a cliff. It's a long way down; I cannot tell if it will break my neck or just give me a nice scratch.","it's all the same thing really, it's all part of the same thing. So, you know, I just wanted to show you this, and you'll see that it's all the same","it was just a moment of being in the void, not moving. It was just the void and I was just standing still in that void. That was an interesting state,","and I think I think a lot of things and they're like thoughts in thought in thought and you know you know the other thoughts and the thoughts of the o","The whole world is here in a single cell... It's a miracle of our existence. We have the chance to realize that the whole world is us, and we are the ","the word 'white' that you mentioned, and it's a very good example because we're going to take a look at it, it has many different meanings. So it is a","there's a certain kind of a spiritual truth that has to do with the experience of time that can only be known by the experience of the time that we kn","a bird is singing, a bird is singing and it is singing in my ear. It is my inner voice. It is a voice that is singing inside of me. The bird is singin","the words that are formed are not necessarily the words that we speak, and the thoughts that we think are not the same thoughts that we speak. When yo","I just think about you. I think about you with this. And this is the third level. We've seen it three times now: I just think, I just think of you wit","and so, to find the way, to find what you are doing and how you are doing it, is to find a way to be you and to be yourself, to find how to be yoursel","Now it's just that when I come back to that center, that center is also the center of everything and it's the only one that is real. And if I do not k","a feeling of lightness, a feeling of freedom, a feeling that I am connected with the universe, and with the source of light and love and beauty, with ","now, as I say it, it becomes a story, not as if I had been thinking of telling a story, but rather as if it were happening. If I take the word 'I'","I am a witness, a witness of what is happening, of what I have seen and what I have felt. I see the image of a tree. I see an image of a world, a","I am trying to remember the beginning of this experience. It's the beginning of a life of a life, of a self, of a person, of a world of some kind, of ","I'm waiting for you in your thoughts, and I am you, and I'm you and I'm your thoughts. I am everything in you, everything in me, and I have no words,","I don't know whether to do this, or not. I don't want to do this because I think I'm not qualified for it. I'm not even an observer of it. I am","it's very interesting that I should be having this conversation with you, in that I have been trying to come to you in various other ways for some tim","I've got the idea, that's it. There was a feeling that was very interesting: there was an energy that was there, but it wasn't an object, so the mind ","and I think that's really the nature of the mind, and the nature of experience, which is that you are not a body, and the body is not the mind. I mean","the word 'subtle' occurs. Subtleness. This is a concept, I think it means that something is not conscious, it is not overt, but it has an impact. It h","I can think of one thing that I've been thinking of that might be relevant to the subject that we're studying and that is the idea of time. Now, how d","this is all, the question of the soul. And it's not even the question of the personality. I don't know. I think the soul is a question of the relation","now the sounds and the visualizations are coming together. And now they are merging and I think the merger is not so different from the way a person a","It is a bit of a trick of my own that I have done for a while: when I have a thought that I want to take with me into sleep or into the unconscious or","my mind is moving. ...a bit of thought has been born here, ...but the thought is moving ...is moving on into the past or is moving on into other kinds","I'm sitting down in a chair, and I feel myself in the chair and my body as I sit there and I feel my body, and I have the sense of myself. And then I ","and then I was so grateful... that I thought: the earth has given me all these things: my physical body, my sensory perceptions, my brain, all of whic","and you're kind of caught up in it. There are three aspects of this experience. The first is that we are, as you know, all bodies. Our bodies are made","I am now in a state of quiet, and in that state I am not thinking at all. It's like the quiet you experience when you lie down in bed, and you are in ","I see a body that is part of me. I see a body at the center of my being. I feel it as a body, but I know it is not a body. I see this","I know that the thing that I've learned about the universe is that the universe is always a bit chaotic, always has its own rhythm, and that rhythm is","and I'm really scared of death. I'm scared of death, and I know I'm gonna die, but I don't know how I can die without dying. How I can die and die","and the first thing I'm thinking is, is my consciousness now, is my mind now. And it seems to me that my consciousness or my mind, or my mind is, is, ","I remember a very long time ago in a place where I don't know whether this is my body, my mind, my brain, or if it is a machine, I remember, very long","I think of all the possibilities, the whole range of possibilities, all the possibilities that are possible and I am also thinking of all the things t","there's this feeling of well, it's a different state, it's almost a feeling of a different state of being and a different state. The body is not a phy","It feels like I'm having this experience, it's happening now, and I'm sitting down here in a place where I feel as though my mind is very relaxed. The","we're just in a state of awareness and we're able to hear all of that. And we can choose to focus in on any of it. And then as we focus in, it starts ","I have to say something about that. There was a period in my life, I was very depressed and I would think all the time and I had to stop thinking in o","The earth's surface, in the air, in the clouds, in the water, in the darkness, in the light, in the moon, in the sun, in the stars, in the sky","I see a woman's face with a smile on it and it's a pleasant face but then, as she's smiling, she's smiling out of one eye, her other eye is closed, an","I feel like I'm watching my body go through a process and I'm going to feel like this, and then the next time I'm going to experience that again. I kn","it is like I am taking a walk through my dreams. I am aware that I am having a dream, that I am remembering this dream, and yet, I am not experiencing","and the air is full of sound. I hear this and I hear that and I hear this sound, and I feel this sound, it's a sense of movement, vibration, a sense o","and then I'm just aware that there's a little ball that's not the head. It's just like a little ball in the center of the forehead. And there's a kind","the more I feel the world is a manifestation of me, the more I feel I am the world. I am the feeling, the thought, the sensation. I am everything. I a","The idea of a possible, unknown life, or an unknown, other life, is fascinating, and I am interested in it. It seems to me that if you can exist witho","And then, there was a beautiful woman. She had the beauty of a woman who was very, very beautiful. And she had the beauty as if she was a child. And a","I've come here to meditate and I'm meditating in my mind, in a way, I'm trying to calm down my thoughts, that's the main goal, the aim of my meditatio","and we have the ability to go beyond the idea, and to look at it as a state of being, a state of consciousness. And to look at the idea of being. And ","I'm thinking about the process of change, I think I'm thinking of the process of transformation. I'm thinking that something, as a result of something","I see myself, but itโ€™s like a projection that is coming from a higher place and then coming down to my mind. Iโ€™m seeing it in this way. When Iโ€™m feeli","it's funny. This is the second time I have experienced it, a lot like a dรฉjร  vu experience, but not in the sense of a dรฉjร  vu that I know about, in th","this is a strange experience...I can't even talk to you. You can't hear anything I am saying, so this is not a dialogue between us. You're just a kind","and I feel, I feel some kind of connection between the things I experience, and some kind of thing that I feel, that I feel as the connection between ","it is very hard to decide which words to use, which images to use, because there are many words and images which have a certain function, which is to ","this is the start of a thought that goes to this idea of a tree or plant. I mean, not just a tree or a plant in the way of a leaf or a root but a plan","I know I'm going to have to work hard to try and do this right. I'm not going to be able to get my mind into the space and time of that particular tim","now we're in the moment, and if you have any idea of the universe, what that means for you, we have to do that, too. It means we're in a particular pl","it's very strange and I'm seeing a lot of these lines, very beautiful and complex lines, and I don't know what they're telling me about the body. I th","It's not necessarily the content that is important, but the act of it happening, and then the experience of it happening. It's sort of like a kind of,","I'm looking at a part of the sky, and I'm trying to name what I see. It's a large blue oval that is divided by a very pale blue line. So this oval is","and we'll see this as a metaphor for the way we see the world. We have no way of seeing the world except through our own perspective. It's like a movi","this is a very big question... I mean, if this is what I think is important about this process... I have this kind of picture of a map of the mind whe","so, I'm sitting down on a sofa. So I'm sitting on the sofa, and I'm watching some TV program, I'm thinking to myself, I don't know, some questions com","a huge sphere, made of metal, just as it seems to be here, but it's just a thin shell. In the inside it's empty, and it's just this, this spherical,","there's a thing you just have to do in order to get through it. I've got to think about it. I know that there's something I've got to do in order for ","I am a man of the world, a man of thought, and a man of feeling. And when I am here, in my house, my consciousness is divided into three: the consciou","it's like a waterfall of thought; it's not linear, it's like a river, a flow. It is like this; you are just floating; you are moving, and you don't","I am a flower. I am a plant. I am an organism. I am the sun and I am the moon. I am all of this. I am this. I don't need this","now I see a very strong black line running through my consciousness, and I see it in two ways: first, in the shape of a vertical line, and then I see ","this is just an empty circle, this circle is empty, it's empty of substance, it's not a solid structure, it's an empty shell. It's the same with the n","in the back of my mind there is a kind of structure that's not necessarily a thing, it's not a place, but it's a kind of place that is the place that ","you know that's interesting. It seems like there's a common thread between all of those words, or something like that, it's like, it's a common elemen","(I) like (to) have the feeling to be part of a bigger picture of things (that) has something to do with my (conscious) self, but then, if you look at","I've got it! I know what a quantum computer is! It's a computer that uses quantum theory, as a computational framework, to perform computations. It's ","I'm not really sure how to formulate this, but it's related to this other idea that I'm having: this idea of a particular type of perception. I'm thin","and there are always going to be constraints and those are going to be the ones that I have to consider when I make a decision. And then you can see w","I think I'm going to die. I'm going to go in a long-term state of unconsciousness. I'm not going to be able to remember anything. I'm just going to ex","if I could use all my time to work on one project and just work on it and have the freedom to do that and work on it without interruption or interrupt","I'm watching myself writing, and I'm writing a new world. It is a world of music. Music is not just a kind of sound, it is a world that has no beginni","a random person, a person with a random brain. You can't really tell who they are. They could be you, or they could be me. But, I can't tell. They're","now I'm looking at the screen, and I see a small molecule. It looks like an oxygen molecule, with two atoms, one with two electrons on it, one with fo","and so this is an algorithm that allows the computer to reason about a logical expression, and the way that it does this, is by taking each symbol in ","this is the other side of a square with a diagonal through it, right? ... But it's not just a diagonal that's a square, it's a diagonal of a square. I","in the beginning of this experiment, there were a number of points of view that we tried to be sure of in this experiment, and we tried to look at how","and we need the speed of light as a constant because, then, we have a constant for the velocity of electromagnetic wave propagation in a vacuum. But w","11.0, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 1","I could also say that we can't see the other because we can't understand its position. And this is an argument. Well, this is not a physical argument.","and, in any event, it is true that there exists an empirical and experimental base, and an experimental base for the other concepts, and you know, the","this is a thought about the Earth. ... it is a sphere with an ellipsoid of rotation of radius a. The Earth is spinning at this moment. Its angular vel","And then, we're going to do what? It's like when you go from the ground to a higher place, it's like you're climbing up the ladder, but at some point,","I'm thinking about my computer. I've just read a little bit of the Bible and I'm thinking how to transfer my knowledge into a computer program. That's","Okay. This is interesting. Okay. I know the name of this point on the x axis is the 'point of maximum likelihood', and this is the name of a theorem i","a lot of people are going to be coming over, so we need to have some kind of seating arrangement. In the previous project, we had 14 people. In the ne","129 ... 130 ... 140 ... 230 ... ? ... 301 ... ? ... ? ... (long pause) ... 314","Now you've got a 'th,' and then you've got to say a vowel, and then you can do whatever you want, you can say the same vowel, you can switch vowels, y","a point... a point in space... the point in space that... that... that is the center of a sphere... oh... a sphere... I see... I see that the... that ","I know it's a sort of a nonsense. But... well... I'm... I'm a little bit like a person, who... who... has... has a... a... an imaginary...","a little more than that. And that's the end of the word. The word that you want to describe is the word that you would use to describe the word. Let's","I'm looking at a little square, with two dots on the upper right, and one on the lower left. And, oh, I have two, two, two. I can't say,","and we could use this, this little piece here, if it was a straight line, you know, this little line here, and then if we used it, you know to sort of","there's some little line right down in the middle of the page, right down in here, which is sort of a horizontal line, right down there, and it looks ","is not one hundred twenty miles, that is one hundred twelve miles ... one hundred and twelve miles ... to the west ... to the east ... to the south ..","we are on a level of thought in a place and this is where the first level of thought is. And it's just like a plane that is at a certain level of a ce","I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content ","(In a dream) I had a very strange dream about a girl in a hotel, and she had a white dress, and her dress was like a robe, and the robe was like a whi","I see it. I see the town... (I hear a sound of a train) The train goes through. I see it. The town. And it's a square. I see a square","in this state of mind I would be able to do anything I could think of. But I could not have a car. It would be too much. I could not drive it. I could","... I was working on this very morning, and I was very pleased about the way things had gone. And I felt very well; I was in good spirits, and I thoug","and if you, then we can all think of things, and then it will come in, it will go in, then come in, come in again and we can all hear, and think of","I feel myself changing, changing, I see myself, I see me, I see a piece of me, I look at it, I see it, I change it, I put it into my","and then the horse will be turned around to run in a circle, and the horse will make a turn. Then the horse will turn around again and run around, and","that's a lot of power to you, I have to say, but I guess that's what a lot of the power is for, to have something to be able to make the other things ","... a house with a red door and blue shutters ... ... red door blue shutters yellow shutters green door green door ... ... green door ... green door y","and I was going to get all the stuff together and make it in a box and put it in a safe, and then, all at once, it'd all be gone and it wouldn't be","all the time it's changing... the little things, it's changing the little things... I'm on the right track! It's not going to be that far... I've been","all this is in a certain way like the last three weeks. ... it's a sort of process that you follow along until you reach the end. ... like, I had this","and then I was up again in the air and I was coming down and I was looking around and there was a girl up there with a dress on and a little girl was ","well, there's one thing that's bugging me. I was going to ask you a question about that, and I forgot. What do you say to somebody who's getting out o","I don't know. It's just a bit funny. There's nothing funny about it. I'm not making myself laugh, but I'm trying, because I'm sure I'd like to make","a woman and a man in a room; a woman and man in a room. A woman and a man look at each other and then a woman looks at her foot and a man looks at his","a tree is like a little house that's got a little house in it, and it's got a window and a door. It's a little house, and then, it's got another littl","and I don't remember. But I don't think he's dead. No, he isn't dead. I don't know. I don't. And it was like he was on his stomach","and you know, I'd like to go down to the beach and build a sand castle. You know, I could have one with a big tent and all. You could have a tent with","there's a girl. There's a girl in this picture. And she's in a white dress. And she has blue eyes. She has blue eyes, like you. I was wondering about ","you can't leave her there, and the grass is all so high. She's gonna have to go and mow it down and so you can't leave it there like that and then she","and I can see the letter on the wall. It's a letter I wrote to my sister. I always write letters, to my sister and to my brother. I didn't send them. ","and the green one too, it was a green one, the green one was a little bit bigger. I don't know whether it was bigger because it was green, or because ","we had two people who lived near the bridge, who made the signs for the bridge, and they made the signs on a piece of paper that was big as a piece of","we must get out of the house. I'll bring a bucket. I'll get the bucket and fill it, and put it out in front of the door, and put a stone on top of","The man was talking in a high voice. I don't know if he is talking to himself or if he is telling me what to do. I don't want to go with him. I'm","I've been a lot of places. I've been in the woods with a big, brown dog, and a little, white one, and a red, red fox, and a big, white","the word is coming to me: 'horses,' the word I have been looking for all day, and I know the word, I know the meaning, and it is the word of a horse","a girl was singing, 'Merry Christmas, merry Christmas.' I know this song. I have it in my mind now. I don't know whether she sang it in French or Engl","and my mother's hand...it's the first one...I used it to teach the...the...I...the...the...i...it is not a...it is a...a...","oh, no, I can't think of any more... but I will if I can... oh, here I am... here I am again... here I go again... and here I come again","and then I said, 'If you like, I will go with you,' and he said, 'No, don't go.' ... And then he said, 'I will go, I will","you have a piece of cake...the cake was very good...and I say, 'Do you want some?'...and he says, 'Yes,' and he says, `I will.'...","[S]he's got a big fat...[t]he way she stands. She's got a fat [b]ottom, and her breasts are bigger than the moon. She's bigger","I think there's a lot of the same in it and it's a good old story about the little old woman and the little old man and how he caught her, and how he ","and I thought of my own daughter, how she used to climb down the chimney, and I was always afraid of her falling. Then I remembered, how the fire burn","there are lots and lots of holes in this wall, and lots and lots and lots on the top of the wall... and they've all been filled with black, black pape","and I was going to say that she was a tall girl and then I thought of her sitting there and I said oh she was tall and I said she was a fat girl and t","we have got to get some things off our chest. And I want to talk about the little house. That little house was just as good as a big one. I know I wou","the one who lives in the river... the little girl that was born with no toes... the little boy with the big feet... the one who sings 'I am the little","I'd better say no, I don't think I'm hungry, but I might be, I don't know, and I can't say whether I'll want to have it or not, because"],["what? I don't know. That's it. I think. I can't think of anything else. I can hear music. I just hear music and it's really nice and it's relaxing","I'm sitting here...thinking about that, you know, what is going on. And I'm just trying to figure out why you don't know it, and that's what's botheri","the idea that we were thinking about had been to try to work out how the mind works, and then to take that knowledge, and use it to try to figure out ","I'm trying to say, that the idea is that you have to go through a certain amount of that. That's where you go through that, so you get over that, you ","So I'm thinking of a really cool thing. So I'm going to tell you something that's really important, and it's really important to tell you about, and I","so I'm thinking that I'm doing this, I'm doing some research on this, and then I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to check out some books. O","the fact that the whole of the universe was made out of that, which is one of the greatest miracles of all time. So the fact that you and I and every ","you have to make a choice about the question you want to ask about. What are you trying to ask the question about? Do you want to know about the peopl","And then, when you look at the data, you see that there's this funny phenomenon, the, what's it called, the two-thirds phenomenon. Where the data from","and that was how it was, I think, because we had a lot of work to do. There was a lot of material there that I think has a lot of value and I think th","it seems like, when I get an idea, that idea then goes through a process where, for a time, it's kind of locked in, like a kind of mental state that c","the word 'law' as the basis for all laws is like the foundation of the pyramid: you can build the whole thing, but you cannot go deeper than the law. ","and I know I know that I know that... and I know that I don't know that I... I know that it's... I know it's not true, but I don't want to","and now what is the probability that a given sub-problem is solved in some given amount of time? The answer is that if the sub-problem does not get so","I just read something in the paper, that was a story that a couple of weeks ago, an article that came out that was about some of the discoveries in bi","a thing is a thing, if you understand it. A thing is a thing because it can be used. For instance, the number 2 is a thing and it can be used as a uni","the numbers are in this case not as different as in the other case. The numbers in this case are not very different from each other. And in fact it's ","I'm a very good person, I think. I have an 80 percent chance of being a good person. I'm good at what I do, I think, although I can't remember","I am sitting here in front of you. I am having a thought. The thought is a question. I am not sure what this is going to be like, this is going to inv","I just started to think about this... I started to think... well, in this situation, I am a participant in this experiment, I am not a machine, I am a","(in a loud voice) Okay, I'm thinking now: Okay, I've been reading a lot about the brain and I know that the brain, the whole thing, is made of neurons","And then I have a thought. It's not a thought, it's a picture of a thought. I can see it. It's like a tree, and I can see that it's a","and the sun was shining on the mountain. The mountain was an example of a curved surface, but it was curved only in one direction. It was a two dimens","I'll go to bed in a few minutes, I have to sleep because I have to start again. I don't know why I have to do this but I know I have to. And I","that's very interesting. It's sort of like if I was making a note on a sheet of paper, and I'm making notes and I don't want to take them away. If I d","and I know that the derivative of x is 1, and that the derivative of -x is -1. I know that this is 1 over x and that the integral of this is -","a square of two and three, which is six, and then times five, so ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five, and then six, so twenty five, thirty, thirty five,","I'm going to be in the middle of this 25 square feet area. I've got to cross it at this point. The time I've got left is 5 seconds. And then","and the square root of three and then the square root of two plus the square root of pi and then the cube root of two, and then the sine of the sum of","Okay. (pause) Okay. Let's do it. Let's start. Let's. (pause)... Okay. Okay. We're in. Let's go. Okay, here it goes.","and 2018 it's the year we go to mars and the earth is empty. We have to go to mars for water and there is no water on earth. And it's like","[sings] The King of the Rock (King of the Rock, King of the rock, King of The Rock, King Of the Rock...) [sings more, with some noise, and","I just got to be 39 ... I think I'm 38 ... I think you're 28. No, you're 38. I'm 29, I","3, 2, 1, 0, 5, 4, 3, -1, -2, -3, 0.5, -1.5,","the number of possible games to be played by two people, with two dice each, and with 36 spots, with the game ending when a number of spots is reached","The answer to that is the same as the answer to this one, but a little further out, it's gonna be a little further down. Okay, we'll have to go over t","[7:34] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [5","353 1.22 123 231 132 213 135 315 235 523","that is a 33 degree angle, and then 33 times 4 = 132 degrees. Now, there are 262 degrees left. And 264","oh, my, oh, my. No, no. There's got to be a way to do it that's not exponential. I have a, uh, I have a kind of, I","and I've had this dream before that I had that I can't remember where it came from... there is a very specific pattern of events that is an invariable","it's a lot of what you see in movies, they have these huge spaces with these huge spaces, and there's like a couple of people, and they're always figh","and that is the only one of these numbers which is divisible by 40. That is the only number that is divisible by both 5 and 8. 40 is 2^","there is a line... a line from a to b... a and b are points... and a and b can be any distance... a is 10 and b is 11... so","And now this is a rectangle with sides 15, 17, and 12, and the diagonal is 18. And then, the diagonal is a square, and the","one could look at a section of the world, like the solar system, and ask, what is the probability that something happens that has never happened befor","well, now, you see, 719, it's 930, it's... it's 8.160, it's, well, no, wait a","I would have been at least 30 degrees south, but I would not have been 30 miles from there, because I'm 30 miles north. But I would have had to","I'm in a boat...a boat on a lake. I'm a fish in a lake. And I am in a boat. There are many fish, and the boat is going along with them","... and if you had to cut it in the middle, which one would you choose? The one that is closer to the center of the circle. The one that makes it look","a man in a black hat and a gray coat, and a gray hat, is sitting on a bench, and it's a red bench, and he's reading the book. ... It's a","and what is it, what's it like? Well, it's like, it's kind of, like a, a...it's like, like, a little, little, like, like","but now I know... what the number of a number is. like, if you had a number like 336, and if you divided by 36, you could make it","that I think... that there is a limit to what you can do with a finite amount of space and time... so we have the maximum of... the maximum of space a","and then that's just the beginning of what you'll need to do to get all of the different things. And so it's going to be some more of those and then s","now we are back at the top, and we are looking at the Earth. And it's a very, very long, long way down from here, you know. So it's a long way","I don't want to do any work on this. It's already finished. I don't have any money. I don't need any money. All I need is the 128 bits","And then I thought, hmm. Now I'm thinking about the sun. I'm thinking that the sun is always there. It doesn't move. It's like it's a stationary point","The body is a kind of complex wave structure. And the wave is the only thing that is moving, and the body is just the wave pattern in space and time. ","I see a very interesting thing: I see the white circle as a point at the center, but it is a point that is changing continuously. It is very interesti","this is the first time I have been in this position. I have to get back into it. I have never been in this place before. There's no more of that. I wa","I'm saying 'what' because the words are the object of my awareness, the container for my awareness, it is what I am aware of, so it is not only a way ","we're going to have to build a system to support it, we're going to need a new system to support that. How do we build that? We'll probably need a sys","[14] ... [15] ... [16] ... [17] ... [18] ... [19] ... [20] ... [0000","a simple line of code: if (A) B; if (B) C; if (C) D; if (D) E; ... where A, B, C, D,","I'm sitting in my chair, I'm thinking. I'm thinking about something. I'm thinking of something. I think it is about thinking. It is a little bit more ","I'm thinking about the thought experiment. I am trying to describe the problem in words. I am thinking about the difference between the 'I' and the 'm","what's the definition of an n-sphere? n = 1, S1 is just a circle, and the point at the top is its north pole, and the bottom is its south pole","I know how to calculate the circumference of a circle using the integral of the circle. Let the circle be described by the equation x^2 + y^2 = R^2, f","I'm going to go to the front and see if I can find any of my friends that are going to be here... No... There's no friend at the end... They're all at","well, there was one that's almost a half-sphere and it has an inner curvature, and if you project it onto a sphere, then what you get is a flat surfac","oh, it's like a lot of things in the universe, there's a lot of forces, so a lot of those things are not even there. There's just a lot of different k","well, I know, the world is composed of elements, and one of the elements that makes up the world is atoms and the atom is composed of protons and neut","I want to come up with some function, maybe a function in terms of time, which describes the behavior of a particle over time, such as the function th","I think about my work here, in the office. I think about it all the time, all the time. There's this equation I'm trying to solve. I know how to do it","and the sun is going down and it's a bit of a blur. That's how it would look. And then you've got a couple of rays of sunlight coming out of it, comin","so then, there's a sphere that is on the surface of the cone, that is the cross section of the sphere and the cone, and I don't know why the cone has ","I'm doing that. I'm not moving. I'm staying there. I can't move. I have to be doing this and I am. I can't get up. I can only be","I see this one guy in a white suit. And it's a white room. He has a white suit, a white room, a white person. The room is a white room with a white","[I think about a table. It's an ideal table, because it has no edges, only round. And that is why it doesn't have a front or a back. And it doesn't","I feel a little bit tired. I see a rectangle. I feel a little bit, yeah, a rectangle is an infinite set of lines. And it goes on forever. A point has ","and that's one of them that I just did in my head, and I know that it's a triangle, but it doesn't matter, because it's just a point. And, so,","it is all the same thing. All of it is the same thing and there's the same thing as this. I just don't know which one of them is the same as this. The","but I know what you think about... oh. This is the point, of course. When we use the words of a person, it is in the name of the person, which is his ","I wonder where the great and the small come from, and where the small and the great go, and what the great and small are. And that is the most beautif","I was thinking of a big tree. A big tree with a big branch, and on the branch is a big stone. And on the stone is the number three. And I am looking a","then, I think there must be a law which governs the change from the past to the present. It is, in fact, not possible to imagine a time in which all t","I am thinking now that my consciousness is being divided. There is a conscious stream, the one I am aware of, and it is flowing around this machine, i","It's a black cube which is rotating, and at some point in time it's rotated so that a black square is the front. And this cube is rotating in a horizo","it's a matter of having a set of objects to play with, and that's all, and I want to make a system of objects. And there are 6 dimensions of the unive","and they go around the circle and they take the numbers and they put them in there and then they put the numbers into the second number and then they ","I could also tell you how the name of the group came to be. And it was because that's the way that we worked. We started to work in groups, and we too","[thinking out loud] ... now you see the one on the right ... the one on the left. We've got a little circle, which is the size of the universe ... the","it's 3 and 3 and a half. 3.5 14 times 3. 14 42 70 105. 10.","the thought, that there is no 'thing' at the end of the thing. The 'thing' is just the image of the thing, which is what it means to be a thing in the","you know, this is all just nonsense, because the words themselves don't mean anything, they're just symbols that stand for something else. There is a ","but it is an error, a false image, and one that is not the same as the actual image; the actual image, that is to say, the actual object, is an error;","and this one here, this one, this is the one that I always carry with me. If I could explain this one to you, then I'd be finished. In order to do thi","this is a word, I'm not thinking of anything. ... This is a word. ... And now, in my mind, I see this word. ... I'm not seeing the word, I","And what I see now, what I see is, there's some, like, this is the way that I see it, like a sort of a three-dimensional shape, which is the shape of","I'm sitting here in my own space, and I'm going to see myself from a certain angle, and then from a certain other angle, and from a certain third angl","a small object, a small square object that is attached to a string, and the string is pulled down, and the object falls and breaks, and there is no mo","there's a long distance between here and there ... a lot of space ... in between ... which is ... is empty. I have no idea where it is. It's not empty","a... a... a sequence of... of... of words... I am not a human being... I am an... an object... that is a... a three dimensional... a three... a three","Now I am looking at a little dot in space. And it's a dot in the space of 3D space. It's in the middle of the room where I am sitting. And it","this is the surface of the earth, here's the earth's surface; now we're moving so far into space that the surface of the globe is disappearing, and th","[sings] 'I'll be seeing you' [song on record], and that's a song on record, and the record is in a record-player. Now the record-player is an object","if you add up the first three numbers in a sequence, that sum, as it were, is the first number that repeats. So it is with the sequence of numbers tha","the numbers of the years, the numbers of the days, the numbers 0f the minutes of the hours, the numbers of the seconds. In this way the time, the dura","13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,","I am looking for a pair of shoes ... the kind which fit around the ankle, but with a toe which is narrow ... they are in my mind now, and the picture ","and I'm going to look at the table, and then I'm going to think, now I want to turn the table over, I'm going to turn it over, and then as I do","this is a sequence of a lot of zeros, and the number of zeros is 7. and this is a sequence that has 3 zeros in it. And this is a zero followed by a","and he's going to have to move here, so he'll have to start out here. Then he's going to move along here. So it's not quite a straight line. It's a","the way the way the way a thing is the thing it is ... the way it is is what it is ... to the right is to the right to the right. The way to the right","a star in a clear sky, the sky is dark but a star shines and then a star becomes a dot of light on the dark sky. A dot of light of the dot of light, a","then I'm going to say, okay, I'm going to use a lot of the same kind of information that I'm going to draw from the previous thought, so I'm going to ","And then there's the fact that, as you can see, it's a circle. You can see the circle, because the circle, which is a point of view, and the point of ","and then I was looking at a building and I was looking through its windows, and it was a large building, a large building... and then I looked down th","a guy's talking to a girl, and he's talking about how he's gonna buy her a bike. I don't know, he's gonna give her a bike and then he's gonna ride","I was in my room with my friend, and we were talking, and I was listening to a tape of this thing. I was listening to the tape and my friend was talki","the little doggie, it's just the little doggie in the middle of the little circle, and then the little dogie is going to run along in the middle, and ","what I could say, that's it. ... It's a little bit like this, you know. ... This is a little bit, you know, this is a little pointy part, you","oh, oh. You're not thinking about anything right now. [pause] I'm looking at my right foot. [pause]. Oh, I'm thinking about what I'm wearing now. I","It's been raining. It's been a very long time. I've been sitting here with this idea in my mind for quite a while. I'm thinking of my cat, but it's be","and the moon is in the sky, and it's about half full, I guess, and I think it's 12.00 in the morning, and I'm here in the room","it's not as though there were no more words or thoughts or images, there are, but there are always a lot of distractions, and when one is there, there","I see a line with many black dots at random positions in the space. ... This is what I'm thinking of. I see a square, a square is a shape of 90 degree","And they're like a circle. So, these lines make a circle. And there are three lines, and that's a circle. The two lines that are in the circle. I don'","and then we come up to this, and I don't know how to describe it, except that it's a long thin square. The sides are all the same length. ...It's like","and here it comes, another one... now it's an arrow and now a triangle, now it's a triangle with a cross inside it, and it's a cross with three arrows","I have a blue background. There's a blue square. I have a circle. It's a blue circle. A blue circle with a yellow dot in the middle. It's like a blue ","what is the difference between 1, 1, and 10, 2, 20, 0, 30, 100, 99,","I'll add some more... 42 + 60... 60 + 60, 61... 31... 11 + 11, 1","a tall tree with lots of branches... I see a circle made of blue blocks... the end of a stick... the end of another stick... a line of three cubes... ","the bottom of the blue cup was yellow... the green circle was the right one, and the yellow circle was the left one... and I looked at the red one, an","there's a dog...oh, no, a cat...a cat's head...that cat's head was a head of grass...oh, wait, a head of hay...oh, yes!","it's an ice-cream cone, it's a glass of ice-cream with a little chocolate on the bottom and then a scoop of ice-cream and then a little chocolate and ","I see a little boy, and a little girl, and a big girl, and there are three of them, and I think it's a baby, and a baby, a baby, it's","like I was like, like, a big fat bear, and like the other bear was a little bear, and I was like pushing the little bear away. And the little bear was","you're looking at the sky right now. And I'm looking at my foot. And you're looking a t the sky. And you'll be looking at the stars. And my foot. Ther","Oh... a little bird is singing outside! (sings) A little bird is singin' out- (sings)... Oohhh! A little birdy is singin'. (s","it's just like, you know, if I'm not standing up, if I fall down, and I'm not falling down, I'm just laying flat on the floor, and then I would","I'd like to put the book there. That's an easy job for me. I have a picture of a lady, and she's holding a baby and it's like this baby. The baby","then he goes into his house, and his house is all different colors. All the walls are different colors, like a rainbow. Then he goes back into his roo","the very word 'doughnut'. I see this shape. I think it's a doughnut. Then it gets big and it gets smaller and smaller until it looks like it's gonna f","I am a mother of three. I am not a good mother. I want to be a good mother but I can't. I don't want to be one because I have no time. I","I am standing in a long straight hallway...I can see at the end of the hallway a door...I look at it and it looks like the door to the castle...I walk","this is how they look like, these things I can see... now I see that the things that I see in this picture are not all the same color. The things on t","it's like an empty bowl. There's an image of an empty bowl that I can see in my mind's eye. That's a bowl that's like a big cup with a handle, but","and the big wheel rolls like a snake down a hill and the snake goes up a hill and down a hill... then the little wheel... the little wheel turns like ","It's a piece of cake. The sun's rising. The sun is coming up. The sun is up. It's a nice sunny day. It's too much sun. I'll get some","a bird is eating the sun; it's a big bird and it's got big feet and long wings. It's got big ears and the sun is eating it too. The sun is red and","this is a little boy with a brown hat on his head, with two red spots on the front of it, and a big yellow button in the middle. His coat is long, and","so it's all gone...a little like a mist...a mist...a big mist... a big mist...all over me... and my hand...a mist all over me...a big fog","then he was gone. He was gone. Oh no! Oh no! He was gone! He was flying away, he was flying away! He was running. Oh no, he was running away","I'm going to try a word and see if it's a name I've heard before, and it's got four letters in it, and I'm trying to remember it, and if you're","it's so sad that the words that come out are all in the same way, same shape. You can see the shape. If you look at the words. The shape, and the word","and then they were all flying around and I was trying to get a picture of them... and then there was a big blue flower and then a bird came over the f","I'm holding a sword... It's like I'm a knight on a horse... My horse has got wings... It's a black horse and the sword is silver... It's in my left ha","I think the old ones are going to come and they are going to kill us all, because they are afraid of us, and that we'll kill them all and they'll die ","but... I have an idea, but I can't put it in words.... Oh... I think, that's it!.... it's a joke!.... that's it.... that's what they","and it is a tree, it is a very big tree, very tall, very tall tree with many branches, and I am trying to reach the fruit, but the fruit is so far, it","I have the idea of a city that will have its streets of water, with the houses in it built of white marble and will have two streets in the center, on","the sea of water. There's a sea of water, with no end to it, and no depth to it. All the waters are gathered together, and the sun rises and sets, and","I've been working on the top of the mountain with the white cap. I have a rope round the base. I'm going to come down. I'm coming down with the white ","the road was full of sunshine... the sun was shining.... it was beautiful. And there was a path coming out of the door and there was a great big tree ","this was a lot of fun...I felt a great sense of calmness as I sat in this place... I can hear a great roaring sound...the trees are moving with the wi","I have the feeling that I am going down into the depths of the earth....I can see all around me the blackness of the earth. There are many forms of li","and we are a new people, but we must always remember the old. That's our task: to keep the memory of the old people alive, to remember them and to pra","And my father, I don't remember him. I remember that he had been there, and he'd been killed. I don't know why, why he had died. But he was there,","it's a dream, isn't it? It's a dream of the mind, isn't it? ... that the mind can dream, and the body can't see it, it can only see","the city was a field of flowers... And in the center, the flower was like a church, and on the top, in the flower, a child was there, and the child ha","in the morning. But in the morning. I do not remember how. In the morning, we had to go, and we went, and I had to say. I had to be, but","I'd like to go to the window. It's getting dark now. I need a bit of light for my work. I sit in the chair beside the table. The chair is very comfort","and the thing is that the book, when I first got it, it had the first page open, and it was the first page of the book with the black and white pictur","we're going to write the story. It's going to be the story of a girl and a boy that live in the woods. And the girl's name is [inaudible] and the","so I'm trying to think of something to say, but I don't think of anything, so I start thinking about the back of my head, and I think, I want to show ","oh! I remember! I'm going to take my dog to the zoo in a couple of days, and it's going to be a lot of fun because I'll see my friend the poodle","and I was in this country, this one country that was so old, so old. I'm in a very old city in this country. And there's a lake out back of this count","the stars are out there...and all around us, there's all sorts of things, the big sky, the small sky, the night sky, the morning sky, the summer sky, ","it's a...a little bit...like a...a...a little bit of a...a fairy...fairy tale...and...and...she's...she's just...just a...","and it's just like the sun just came up and I'm up here in the sky and all of a sudden I'm up in the sky, and I'm so high, so high, and","this is how I see you, my friend, a girl sitting on the sand with a bunch of pink flowers in her hair, a little bit of snow on the ground, and it's wa","the sound of my name in my own voice is so beautiful and i look at the sky and it's so high and the sky is blue and i have a dream about the sun and i","the rain...rain...it's a rain...and then it's a snow...the snow...the trees...are covered...with snow...they are...with a...big...big...beautiful","I was lying in bed. It was so still and quiet and warm. The only sound was the faint ticking of a clock. The sun was coming through my bedroom window ","I've had my eyes open now, but I feel sleepy and I've just had a dream. It was a big house with a little girl in it. She was about four years old and ","and I'm reading a story by the sea, and the sun's going down. And I'm looking at the seagulls, and the water's all black and brown. And the wind's","what do they say about it being the time of the year for the roses and the daisies to come out and the sun to shine so bright and the clouds to scatte","It is a very bright morning. It is like the light of the sun. There are all kinds of flowers in the meadows. The roses have gone, and all the other fl","we could have a new town...the other side of the mountain...we could have one of those big cities...with all the lights...and a lot of houses...and al","And now, it's going to rain today. Oh, it's already raining! Oh! I've never seen so much rain, or so much snow before. It's very pretty. I wonder","I wonder whether all the things are going to happen, because they are so far away. I think, 'Well, how am I going to do that?' But I think, that if I'","I've got some old clothes I want to get rid of... I was going to wash them and make a nice little pile of them and throw them in the fire.... I wonder","we have this old picture book of little flowers. The pictures are in black and white, and there's a little story about them, but I'm not sure I know i","and I saw a picture of me on the wall, with a little girl in a dress. That's where the little girl lived. And the little boy was with me and I was hol","the first one [the child in the story] is the one I was most interested in. The first one is the one that says, 'I'm going to be a dog.' And the secon","and when I was in the hospital last summer, I saw this... this thing in a museum. I think it was in the museum in the hospital... It's the... it's lik","the flowers in my garden are beginning to come out. They are lovely, aren't they? I used to live in a little village in England and we used to have a ","I am in a garden with a big tree in it, and the tree is green and big and has leaves. And I am sitting in the garden with my mother. And there's a hou","a boy with his finger on the tip of his nose ... his finger is on a yellow flower ... in a glass of water ... then it was a flower and he was pointing","I like the idea of being like a little girl who was caught looking in the window, and they would just have to let me in the house, and I would see it.","I'm having a nice dream. I'm going to go to a place where there's a huge lake and there's a big tree there and there's two boats in the lake and they'","and then I came into the room and it was a big, big, big room, and I was so glad and so happy. It was a big room full of trees and flowers, and I","you're still here... you're not gone... but I think you're going... you're going to go somewhere and I'm going to go with you... I'll take you with me","and there's a boy on my shoulder. a big one, like my brother and he's a sailor, and he's wearing a red shirt and blue pants and he's walking on my hea","And then the other one, that's my own little sister. She has her hair all up in a little bow. It looks just like yours, with the little curls and the ","I have been trying to think of some of my own things I do. I think there are some good ones I do. There's a big tree. It has a lot of little sticks. I","like I was thinking, you know, how to make the balloon come down... I have a little stick that I can use. But it would be nice if I had some string fo","we go to bed, we go to sleep. We go to bed. We have to sleep, don't we? ... we can go to bed or we can sleep. I know that. I","a little boy, he's not little any more, and he's a little girl. He's a little boy, and he has a red shirt, and she has a blue shirt, and then","my brain hurts! My brain hurts! [ ... ] It hurts! It's too hard to sleep, it's too hard! [ ... ] [ ... ] I can't do it! I can","the little man, the little man who's hiding in the trees, in the dark, and he's scared because he doesn't know what to do. So the little man's just hi","(shriek) ... (sigh) ... (groan) ... (wail) ... (shrieking) (gasp) ... (cries) ... (sniffles","a big tree... and a little boy was up in the branches. He was a little boy and a big tree... a little boy... and a big... and a red... red apple... re","I could see a lady in a red dress, but she wasn't really there...She was walking down a hill, she was smiling and waving. She had a yellow hair and wa","I'm here in the darkness and I can't see you. I'm standing here, looking at my reflection in a puddle of water. I see your face. And your hair's the s","this is the door of a building. It's a door and there's a window to the left and it's a little bit bigger than the door... the door is a little bigger","I've got a lot of money, and I can get lots of food... and I can go out and get lots of toys... and I don't need my dad... because I've got my","I was thinking about this story, and then I realized that you could make a new story with the other half, and then you'd have the same story. I wonder","I have a lovely picture of a boy in a boat, the boat with no hull. He has a boat-hook and a lot of things that float in the water. The boy is going to","And the woman had a little dog that bit her, and she was sorry for him and she took a lot of medicine to make him all better. She washed his hair and ","and I can tell you what he said. He said, 'Oh, no, you're not. You're too old. You can't play.' I said, 'Yes, I can.'","and then he gets up and goes to his room, and then he gets down and goes to the bathroom, and then she gets up and grabs the toy and eats it, and then","it's like that time in the woods. I think you want to see that, don't you? But I don't want to do that again. I've almost done it, but then it","I saw him holding a gun. He's a big one, with long hair. He's got big teeth and he's a dirty little kid. And he's wearing a little blue hat. He","I've seen you a lot of times before, but I've never seen you without your shoes, I haven't seen you without shoes before. I've seen you with your shoe","and if you weren't going to get into the pool, what were you going to do? ... Oh, no, you don't want to go in the pool. ... You're a boy and","we went to the fair, you know...and there was a lot of people and big, and little, and high, and short, and big, big, big. Oh, and little little","so you could run in circles and jump off the bridge, then fall and hit the water and float and come up again. Then you could run all over the place an","And...it was a dark green snake, and the snake was turning around and around and around like that, and then it was getting bigger and bigger and bigge","like an apple tree, it would have to be cut down. and it would have to have roots. so that it would have no problem standing up on its own. and it was","there is a little bird that will fly around, and she'll do it like a bird. She'll fly around, around, and around, and there's another one, and another","there's no reason, just... I've got to... I can't help it, I can't do this! I've got to go and find it, I've got to find it...","and I thought... 'why do they think it's so hard to say yes?' And I was thinking, 'why not?' and it wasn't a question. It was like saying, 'why","[thinking] you should go get it [the bird]! And it's going to eat you, and it's going to go 'boooo!' and you're gonna go 'beep'","Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhh! That's it! That's what it is! Oh! It's a bit of a cloud! Oh, I'm a bit of cloud! Oh I'm","I'm a dog. I'm a dog! I'm a puppy, and I'm a pup. I'm all shaggy, shaggy. And I'm all furry and bouncy","and he's a bear. It's a bear, and he's going to eat me. And he's going to catch me and I'm going to have to tell him my name. But I","I'm hungry. I'm hungry! I'm hungry. The word 'hungry' is a lovely word. It sounds like I'm eating and my tummy is going round and round. It","and there's a man and a woman dancing. They're dancing in a big, round room. They're dressed in the same thing and they're holding hands and they're t","and I think if I'm in a mood for singing I'll sing 'The Wedding Guest' and 'Daisy Bell', and then I'll sing 'London Bridge' and 'Jingle Bells","the child is lying on the bed, with its head under the pillow, its arms wrapped around the pillow, and its legs are kicking, kicking. There is a lot o","and, oh, my God, what a way to go to heaven! ... I'm so frightened! I'm frightened for all of you. I'm frightened. I'm so afraid! I'm","and you know, if I was a man I could wear a suit like a woman and just go out in the woods and walk around with a gun in my hand...and the birds would","and it's the most beautiful thing that's ever been said. And I can't find any words to say, because I just can't. I can only think, and the words won'","[s]he's gone. She's gone, gone, gone. Gone. Gone. ... There she is. There she is, there she is. She's running, she's running.","you know, they have this kind of weird, half-male, half-female body, and it's kind of hard to explain but I guess you can tell by the way they move. A","that's all I'm saying... I just want to sleep, I just want t0 sleep... I can't do nothing... I don't have a choice, I don't want to do anything","And what I wanted to tell you was, if there's something wrong with it, it's because you were so happy when you saw me, and I don't know how to tell yo","the whole thing is the same as all the others. But I know it will be different. You don't know, that's what you said... I know it... But I'm not sure ","I'll have to work harder to get out of that. It'll be alright. I'll go to school, I'll pass the exams, I won't lose. I'll have a nice job","and they'll take the two of us and they'll keep us together and you know, it's a matter of time before he gets a good enough grip to hold me down and ","it's like a fire, and I'm going to die. No, it's going to kill me. I'll die of cancer. It's going to eat my insides up and kill me","I'm so glad I had no other choice but to write it. I think it would be the death of me, to leave it alone. I think I'm so dead. I think if I","I don't know why you were in a car, and that was your body that was smashed. And the things that came out of it, I was feeling sorry for the man who w","I suppose I'd have to be a complete wreck to make a film about the dead, and that was why he was writing it, and if he had made it, if he had been abl","I was in a house of flowers, and then there were three of us and we were kissing in the bed and we were in a big room full of flowers, in a big bed fu","I remember the night, oh yes, I remember the night when you came to my bed, and you asked me if I would marry you. I was a happy girl, and I said I wo","it is just like the music. He plays the violin. He has lost his hearing, but he still plays, he still plays. I said it was a lovely picture. A lovely,","there are a lot of people, but you know, you don't know anything about them. You don't know who you're going to marry. And what about you, are you goi","and we must destroy it, must destroy it completely, as it was born. Must destroy it, and the thing must live again, and live and destroy again, and so","there is a man here. It is a man whom I love very dearly. There is no one so dear to me. It is my greatest good, he is my greatest evil. Oh, God","And I said to myself, 'This is what you are to do, you who love to hate! You must, you who hate, love! And you must not, you who are good,","it was just an empty shell. It's like a puppet, it was just a puppet. He was only a puppet, and they took him and gave him life and then they drove hi","I remember a time when I was on the way to go to the college, when my father was in his first period of mental illness. He was going to the country of","I must warn you, this is going to be very difficult for you, because it's the first time since I first told you about you that I have taken your part ","and that I'm in the same boat as you, and the same boat that we're in is the boat that the whole world is in, and I can't escape from it, and you can","and so on, and so on, but they will not stop, the demons will not stop. You think they can be quieted. They are in you, and they will not be quieted","and I thought I was so happy when I married you. It was you and I, just you and me, you and I were so happy together, and I thought you were so wonder","the one who said that if the old man had a hundred and thirty years and if he had to be saved, he would have been saved. And that it is the most impor","and it was not just a moment of light, but it was the very source of light itself. You see, it is a great thing that the darkness can be overcome by t","And then there will be the time when a man has become so accustomed to seeing himself in every other thing and in every other being that he ceases to ","I do not see my son. I do not see him. I do see my son's mother, but she is not my mother. She is a stranger to me. She is the mother I","all of my life, I have been in love with one woman. I do not think that she has ever known it. It is as if I had a small, silent voice in me, which","And then he was suddenly caught by an impulse, which made him look at me, and say: 'I can tell what you are thinking' ... You, my beloved, you have a ","and my lips, I felt them move; it was as though my lips were alive. And they were talking to me; and they were whispering to me. They were speaking a ","the noise is here, I know, and I am it and I have brought it here. I feel the noise, it is me, I am it, I am the noise, I am the","there was a man walking along the road in the rain, with his face and hair soaked. He had an expression on his face that made me feel sad. I thought h","the image of the two little children and the lion. The image of the children playing in the sand. The little lion lying down, the children playing. Th","my whole mind is like a vast sea; the whole sea is a single being. It is my true being and my eternal self. When I am in it I am no more, and no one","and here are my hands in your face, and in your breast and your eyes, and the whole universe is at my feet, and I am the king. And the other, the othe","the sound of a bird. It's a bird that comes to my mind, that I think of as the spirit of my mother. It's coming to me, it's coming to my mother.","I am a man, and I have a dream. My dream is that in the middle of my soul I shall find a woman of beauty, a woman of wisdom, and a woman of courage,","and this one, this one is for your own good, to help you see where you are. And then another one, another one, and then a third one, and a fourth, and","the others are dead, are dead, but you live still. You live, you are the other. And you, I am the other. We are two, two, and yet one, and","and so, as you can see, I am not at all the least of these. And it is so sweet, too, in a way, for, though my soul was not for sale,","It is not my fault that I love you so deeply; and this is a part of it. I am your mother, I am the love of your soul, I am your destiny, and I","the man who had been on the floor had a big black eye and a big red one, and a big blue one too. And he was very small. He was no bigger than my littl","You can't be a monk unless you have some kind of reason why you want to be one. You can't be, you know, a monk and not have some kind of belief. I thi","I've been a vegetarian for eight years. But it's not that I don't eat meat. I eat meat. It's that I don't put any thought into it. I don't go","the color of the sky is in the eye. ... [the sky] is a sort of mist that is green. ... There is something like a sort of golden light coming through t","And I am a child of the dark and I am a poet, and I am the voice of the voiceless. I am a song of the spirit. I am the one who carries the light","It's funny, you know. I find it funny, now. You're laughing, now. It's funny to see the world's so funny, so much. It's not the world's","the beginning of a tale I'm not sure about. And I'm not quite sure about the end. There's a sense of it, there's a beginning and there's an end. But i","I have to be really careful, because if I start talking about something else, or if something else comes up, then it's going to get into the wrong dir","I am not going to tell you to have a good day. But you will have a good night. Because I am going to tell you a story of your life. You know that. But","[I]n the midst of everything you feel the presence of the universe, and you are... and I am, and we are one. ... [and] a man can say: 'I","this is the beginning of the story. A girl was walking through the forest, and she saw a tree with a small cave underneath it, and she thought: 'It wi","in my heart I have a fire which is very great, and I must have a fire and it is very great to have this fire... it is great... but my fire is not enou","It's only the material of thought itself that's important. There are no words. It's like a stream of water flowing over a rock in the middle of a moun","I have just had a very vivid dream. It's as though I were being led through a kind of landscape by some force, some power that is not mine, but that i","I was wandering about in a field of flowers, and it was dusk. And I felt very much at home, and I was very much pleased with myself, and I loved the f","what do you call a thing that is never done? And it is so, but what do you call it? Well, perhaps a thing that does not do? But what can it do that is","I have a good feeling for it. I feel the whole world is coming to me. I see myself in the world and the world in myself. I see that everything is an e","I'm now beginning to remember, I know. I know I am not dreaming. I know this because I can now remember. But it is impossible for me to remember, in t","you know how much I love you, I know it in my heart of hearts, and I cannot leave you in your darkness, for that would be worse than death. I do not k","the moment that is the present moment, in which the present moment is the past moment and the past moment is the future moment; and the past and futur","I am all here, I am all there, all around. The only thing I cannot do is be one with the whole. I can be here, I can be there, I can look back","the fact that I exist and that I have this consciousness in which I perceive the existence of time, the existence of space, the existence of a space t","I don't want to be an actor or a singer, I don't want anything, I want to be free...I don't have to do anything. I am free, and I am just","it is not just a dream; it is reality. It is reality because I am here, in my body; I can hear you. And I am able to speak in you. So when I","in this state of thought, we are aware of our thoughts, we are a part of them. We can feel that we have a 'personality' who is always outside this sta","And so here I am, I see myself, as I am now. I am a thought. I am an idea. I am a sound. I am the whole of space. I am nothing","there's a strange, deep, black, abyss, that's the mystery that lies within us, and that we do not know. But, in order to be able to see the abyss we m","and I saw a river of light flowing up and down the spine. I saw a shadowy form that looked like my own body, but that was not my own body. It looked l","I wonder if I really existed... if I really am this body I inhabit. I know that I feel very much myself. I can feel myself, and I can see myself in a ","the music is not there. I do not hear it. I am not sure. There is some faint music, but it's not enough. The music is there, I don't hear it.","I've come to this place... This is the way I am in this moment, at this place, and this is the way that I am at this moment. Now I want to understand ","I wonder if what I'm thinking here now is actually an actual thought of the world, or is it just a thought of me? Is what I'm saying about thoughts in","there is something which is not really separate from what we think of as me... something which is much, much older, much, much more ancient than the '","there is a light at the center of every thing. That is the real and true essence of all things and the real and true nature of all things, and that is","you know how I was thinking of going back to the world of thought? And I am here, and I know this is where I am, and I am going back to that world. An","I just did it again. I'm in my office now and it's exactly the same as it was just before. I'm still lying on my chair, with my hands on my knees. I","we'll be sitting in this chair, in the darkness. And we'll be feeling our feet, our body, our whole body, our spine, the breath, the energy. And we wi","I can see, I see, I can see that there is a world of difference between what I think I am and what I actually am. I am not me. And in that state, I","we have to build the world, and I've had visions of building the world in a very physical way, not just mentally, not just through the imagination. Bu","I am not aware of any particular things, except for the sensations of my body. I see it as a continuum of sensations, as a continuum. There are many s","And you're a child, you're a person in this life. It's a little like you're on the side of a road, and it's dark and you're on a hill, and","my brain, in this moment, is making these thoughts, and these thoughts are making these images. These images are very specific, and I feel a sense of ","a woman is coming toward me, she's coming toward me and she's coming into my body and I'm being able to sense her being, but I'm not being able to see","and I want to be in the present moment and I want to experience the present moment with as much awareness and as much consciousness and as much clarit","and I want to say something, I'm in the middle of something, I don't know what it is, I feel like a wave is coming towards me, and I'm moving out of i","And then, of course, we're all born from a process, we're part of a process that's alive, and it's all just one thing, one thing is always happening. ","[thinking about] what is, the real world, the real of reality, not the world of thought or of images, which is an illusion. And this is a very difficu","my hand, I don't know where, I can't, it's there, it's gone, it's a mirror. I'm the image of myself and that image of myself is in front","I'm seeing this figure, this figure is moving in front of me. And I'm aware of it, it's just there and I'm aware it's there. And I see this figure as","a place that's a sort of place of meditation and contemplation. You know the sense of meditation, a contemplation of the nature of your mind and your ","a... a... a river... I am... the... the... a river.... And I am... I am a... a being... the river of... the... of the... the of the","there was an explosion. And I have not seen a single person in the last ten minutes who can speak about the nature of what we are and the nature of re","you're sitting with your eyes closed and you're observing your mind. What's happening in your mind? Well, it's difficult, because we're all in a state","I remember having a dream that was like a movie, but it was like a dream that had a lot of different people in it. It was like a kind of movie where t","and then I'm still here, right, and I don't feel anything but that my soul has been... a lot of my energy has been flowing away, and I am still here a","I have a feeling I am being watched...I am experiencing the sensation that a gaze is directed at me, from the outside, and I'm aware of the fact that ","I'm looking at my thoughts and feeling and my body, and I'm doing a lot of breathing in here, which I'm trying to do a lot, but it's a little hard. I","And the world is alive. It's alive and it is in movement, and it has life, and it's all vibrating, and all being, and all everything that you can thin","this is the end of the line. This is the end, the end of all things. It's a simple thing, right? We are not this body. We are not these organs, that","this is not something I can control. I cannot control it. I cannot do anything about it. It is not in me. I do not know what it is. I do not understan","we are very close to the origin of our being. I don't want to use the word 'God', because I don't think it is a good word. 'Origin' is more appropriat","a piece of music that was my own. But I was very surprised to hear it because I thought it had to be a piece of music, that was my, that was in the un","it's an interesting thing to see the relationship between the two. If you think, there is a lot of interaction between the conscious and subconscious.","I'm going to be back here and see the same things. I'm going back and I'm going forward and I'm just going to be going through the same things over an","I remember the words of a poem: 'I shall live in the light of the fire'. It is a poem called 'Fire'. I am not sure where it is in the sequence of the ","The light comes out of my mouth; the light is like a shining of my thoughts. I am the light of my own being, the light of the universe. I am all light","I know there is an eternal and unchanging light. This is the light which is the source of all life. And all life is a creation of this light. The worl","And I have the image of the image of a dragon... Of a dragon coming out of a cloud and hovering over my head. And it is like a cloud and it is like fi","now I am standing here... standing here, in the field. I am standing on a field. I was standing on a path, on a path with a lot of grass. And suddenly","the red ball...I am an ordinary being who lives in the world and...I have a thought of a ball and it is red...I see the red ball...in my field of visi","The tree and the circle. The circle of the tree... I don't know. It seems as if the tree is going to grow out of the circle and into the circle. In th","And there's a small girl, a child, who is being pulled across a lake by a great fish, which has become a small bird. The lake is a sea. It's a lot lik","I feel very tired, I can't sleep. The dream I just had, the one I saw in the middle of the night, when I was young, I remember. It was about a little","that's an old word, that's a name of an old man... I don't know where. I'm getting too tired to think anymore. I'll come back and write it down later.","I see my hand, it is a piece of paper in which is written a thought, my mind is written on the paper and is a flame, the flame of a candle in a great ","a certain light, that is, a certain quality, a certain rhythm, a certain tone... a certain colour, that is the light of the sun, a light of love... a ","then it's all wrong, isn't it. I'm not really here. It's all a dream, isn't it? All the things I'm seeing now, all the things I've seen","and there's a little child sitting in the corner with a face of sorrow. And he is saying, 'Oh, oh, I'm going to die.' And he's pointing to the ceiling","now you're thinking of what to write about and what to paint and what to build and what to read... and I'm thinking of it too and now I'm thinking abo","and he had his black hair and a white scarf and he had a big, white coat. He had big, white wings that spread out behind him, and he was flying across","and I see myself as I see myself in my dream, and then the sun goes down on my world, and I can see the colors of the sun as they change into stars an","the house, the house... the house is made of wood and the walls are a very pale white, the floor is a dark wood, and it is made of all sorts of wood, ","and then they were gone, and we all went down to the river. I was there, but I wasn't. It's a very, very important river in the country of my people. ","the idea of a sound that was never used, but the sound of a bird. The sound of the bird was never used. The bird would never fly, but its wings were s","I think this is a lovely word, but I cannot write it down. The word is a woman's hair in her hands, the long black hair, the shining hair that a woman","I'm a woman who loves to sing, and I'm wearing a white dress, with long white sleeves. I have a pair of white slippers and a little white hat. I am st","I can't remember what the flowers were in my head, but they were all blue, I think, and they had flowers like little flowers, I think. And I can see t","and in my mind, I saw the dark, the black. And then I saw a yellow ball that was rolling toward the black. I thought of the color yellow like it was f","the person you love, who has been gone for so long. The person who has been there for you, who you never knew existed, only found out that you loved t","it was like a whole painting, and it was so bright and it was a little girl, and it's not her but it's a little girl that is going to be a flower, and","and if I were a man, and I had a family and I could not hold them, and they were starving and I was too tired to feed them, and I was crying, and they","And I think that the one who is not beautiful, because she is not beautiful because her body is, but her face, her eyes, is not beautiful; but the bea","that is all I am going to say about the colour green. And then there was one day when I went out and I had a blue dress on. I didn't wear it at all. I","and he was going to go to a party for his birthday, and she was going to come and the two of them were going to dance, and I said that he was going ou","The little white butterfly with the red spots, so soft, with its wings as thin as paper, it comes and sits on my finger. I look at you and smile. I th","and so we will be friends, for life. And when the days grow old, and you are old, and grey, I will still be here, to look upon your face. And when you","but I could see the flowers. I could see the trees. And I could hear the music. And the wind. And the sun and the moon. And I thought I could see you.","the sound of the waves and the wind and the birds singing and the sunlight and the moon shining and the rain falling and the clouds moving slowly in t","my head is heavy... it feels like I'm on fire... I can see fire and there's smoke and then the sun comes up and it's golden and it's burning... then t","and there's a lady... standing on the shore of the sea... and the sea is calm... there are no waves... the wind is gentle... the lady has a dress of p","And that was the reason why I went back to my room to sleep, and my body was all swollen and my head was all swollen. I sat and cried for a little whi","And I am afraid that we have done too much to the trees, to the little woods that are there...It is almost a pleasure to look at a tree, to see its gr","in the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me. My light, and my darkness, the night is as a day. I will rest, and","now we're not going to die, now we're not going die. You're not going to come here and kill me, I'll kill you. You're a bad little girl, I don","I'm sitting in my little bed, and I feel cold, and there's a little fire going in the hearth; I can see a great red fire. I hear a little voice, and","[the] little boy [on the book] he had the blue eyes and the blue hat with the black feather on it....[the boy] was laughing at me....[the] mother [","Now I'm not thinking of anything but my fingers, and I'm thinking they're little birds that fly from me up into the air, and fly over the country and ","and if I had a pair of wings and a hat, that would be nice, too. I would be able to fly. And if I were a bird, I could fly away to England and","and we can make that sound, like a song, like this, 'Eh!-eh!-eh!'-eh!-eh! I'm going to make a song about it,","my name is John, and I am a happy boy, I was born in a small town. In the little town was a nice little garden and in the garden was a nice tree, and ","I am here in the garden. A beautiful garden. ... A garden in the sun. A beautiful sun, and it's very hot here in the sun ... A sunflower, a big sunflo"],["we donโ€™t know anything about the nature of the other mind, so you have to think in terms of the other as a human being, as a person, as a real person ","and then I'm going to get married and I'm going to have two children and they're going to be girls and I'm not going to have to deal with that and the","I don't know, I don't know if that's right. I don't know what I would do if I had the chance, I think I would do the same, but I don't","it's a big thing for us to take time off, even just a few days, in the middle of the year, when everything's going so fast...that's one thing I really","I think my parents, they, when I was little, my parents were really, they really... I guess, my parents, you know, were really strict. They were just,","I went to this place that I didn't want to go to, and it's a small room. And you go in there and there's a wall with the picture of a dog. And the","I can see them running in the distance. That's why it's so beautiful. You know, the way the sun just goes behind the mountains, the way it looks in th","[I'm] going to make a sandwich. [I'm] in my kitchen, and the coffee's not hot, so I'm going to put a cup on the burner and [I'm","it's like an iceberg... it's like a very large iceberg and you can see it at the bottom of the sea. And then, you know, you can't see it because it's ","I'm walking along. I'm going along. And I see the road going away. I see the trees. I see a big tree with a very big branch. It's got a very big","and what? What? The snow is on the road. I'm going to go and see what it's like. I'll get my shoes on and I'll go and see it. But if","and so then I'll get on the train with my mother and then she'll get off at the station where we live. And she'll look after me till my father comes. ","a little boy was playing with his toy. I said to him, 'What are you playing at?' 'Playing at being a soldier,' he answered. Then I said, 'You're not a","that's good! Oh, and my cat's going to have a baby soon. And my little girl has a brother now, he's six months old. He's so nice, and he's","oh, my head is killing me! I'm going to die...there's nothing in the world for me...I've been a good girl, I've done my duty. And now...oh","you've got your little daughter with you, haven't you? And the other one... I wonder what happened to her? Oh, yes... she's got two brothers and three","and I thought of my little girl, when she was just a baby. She's grown up now and gone away to school, but I often miss her. She was so good-natured,","and now I'm going to have a baby. I don't know how I'll do with a baby. But I think it'll be all right. I won't get tired. No, I","I see a little girl and a little boy with a small boy between them. The little girl is laughing and the little boy is crying. They're running. I think","we are all alone here, my darling, alone. We are all alone. I'm so lonely, my darling. I need to be with you. I've got nothing. I don't want","The little girl. A little girl. There is a little girl. Yes, there is. There is one in the house. There is another in the house with me. She was with ","there was a light in the hall. It was a light from the top of the staircase. It was bright and was coming through the window. It was very bright. I sa","and I am in the house of the great black man who is dead; he sits, and I sit, and he says to me, 'Why do you sit?' and I say, 'I","and so he saw a woman sitting on a white couch, and he lay down beside her. It was like a dream, and he did not know where it had come from. It was no","I can hear voices now, and I don't know whether to believe them. It is the same as before, the voices come to me. I hear them in my head and yet I am ","I know what's coming. I know that's coming. She's come back. She's not gone far. And now she's coming, coming. And I know it. I feel it.","I am so tired. My eyes are heavy, and my lips. I am sleepy... Oh, God, I wish I had not come. I would have stayed in bed all night. No,","the sound of my heart beats louder and louder, a loud drumming, as if I were dying...my mother's voice calls to me. 'Mary, Mary, is it you?' She was","and the big bell, that big bell, was rung. Now it is rung, I know it is rung. I could hear it in my ears and now I see it in my","I feel as if my heart were beating and beating, beating, but I can't hear it. It must be very loud and terrible. I have never heard anything so loud a","I am sitting in a chair. I have my back to the window. A heavy curtain is drawn. I see my body in a mirror. It is a little red in the face, the color","[the participant] continues to say out loud, but now the voice is low, it is very clear and sweet, as if it was from a girl's mouth, a young girl. I s","the red tree in the garden. I have a red tree in my garden, and there is a little stone, and there was a little boy, and there are many leaves on the ","my legs and feet are all numb. I am so sleepy. I do not like being numb. I feel like I am sitting on ice. I hear a mouse crawl by. I do not think","I have a fear of the dark, I can't sleep in the dark. When I was a child, I slept in a corner of my mother's bed, because the light from the fire frig","and then I was in a black room and there was a black table on the floor and there was nothing in the room. And I thought there was a fire and there we","there's a black spot in my hand. I was looking at it before I started and now I can't see it. I suppose I was dreaming it. But I don't think I was dre","a woman...the same woman from the room with the blue curtains. I see a woman. She's coming toward me. She's wearing a red dress and white gloves. Her ","and when I came home from school, and my mother had washed up, she was sitting in a rocking chair with her hat on, looking at the books that lay in he","And I'm not happy; it's not fair! I'd rather have my baby. And then I'd get all the nice things, and a pretty baby and a pretty room, and nice dolls","And I'm writing some letters, I'm writing some other letters. I don't want to do this, I'm going to write some letters. I'm going to sit down and I'm ","we could go and buy some ice-cream. And I know it's not on the menu, but I'd like to give you something. And I'd like you to be the first to have","I am a woman, I am a wife, a mother, I am the wife of a man named Albert... I am a man's wife, I am married to a man named Albert. I","I remember that when I was young and my parents were alive, we used to live in a house at the edge of a forest, and there was a big woodshed and a sma","the baby cries and I don't know what to do, I don't know who to ask. I can't go to the shop to get a cake, I can't see a doctor, I","and then they'll say they've seen something and then they'll get out of the car. And then they'll all get out and then they walk around and then they ","It's going to be a nice summer, isn't it? ...I'm glad it's not going to snow, because I can't stand the cold, I can't bear it. I love","you can't see a thing. You can't see your face. You can just see a red light coming through the trees. It's all I can see. It's red. And you can","we had a huge tree in my garden, a walnut, and my father used to chop up the walnuts with an axe and then dry them on a straw mat until they were a so","and the colours and the shapes of the things that they were and what I saw. I see them here, on the bed, and I see them there, on the floor, and they'","but, there are lots of little birds...and they are very white, and very brown. They are like my eyes when they are looking at you, you and I. They are","it was all right. It was a very pleasant sensation. It felt so much like a cat licking, as though a soft furry creature had come and was gently lickin","the little girl, I was going to make a little girl out of some of the leaves. I'd made some little girls, I don't know how I did it. I'd tried to make","and then she got a bit scared, and she said, 'Oh, no, he isn't real; he is a fairy.' ... So I got up and I made a big pile of flowers","and then I saw a lady ... a lady with a white dress ... a lady, with a white gown and a golden crown on her head and she was standing by a little brid","I see the wood, and I know how to take it down; that's why I have my axe, and a knife with a long handle to cut down the tree with, and there are some","it is all very much like the wind; a wonderful wind, like a musical wind; and the sound it makes in the wood is like music. ... The trees, when they a","Oh! Oh, this is nice. And I'm going to have another little cup of tea now. It's a nice little cup, but it's so small and so tiny. It's only","the one that was sitting with us, with her hand on the stone, and her hair was in a great, great mass. I think you have a little hair on your arms. Sh","and it's really pretty to sit down and look up, and watch the clouds go by. They go by so fast, and then they come back. They come back and go by agai","and it is a great deal like that. And here is a man standing on the steps, and here is a little boy, a little girl, and here they are standing on the ","and then the sun and moon are getting larger and larger, and you can see them, you can see their faces, and they are laughing and they are saying, 'Yo","it's a picture of an old man. He was in a corner, a corner with a roof. I don't know what the house was like. It was very dark, but it was still","you see, this is very exciting. And when I have a lot of things going on, they all come out in a hurry. But now that I am thinking slowly, I can see t","the sun is shining and the birds are twittering in the tree, the trees are all green and the flowers are blooming, and there is a path that winds down","I suppose there must have been something, some reason I could remember a lot of them, but it slipped out of my mind and then came back to me again, li","that is like that thing in 'The Picture of Dorian Gray,' the thing in the mirror that is always changing, and always beautiful, and the other one that","now I can see that I am looking out of the window at a field, with a tree in the middle. I do not know what this tree is, it is very strange. And this","you know I said, 'I wonder if I can do this', and the child looked at me, 'I can't do that', and then it happened again, and the child said, '","this one has to be a dog...now, that's it, that is just right. And I will tell you something, you never know what is to be in the next picture. You ma","and what we did last night was to go out and get a boat, and we went up in the hills to the edge of the meadows and we were there on the edge of a riv","I see a green room with white walls. It's the same room as it was when I was in that village. And there are white curtains hanging around it. I think ","and then I look at the picture of my mother. She looks so young and pretty. And the man in the picture of her mother is so ugly. I do not like him, I ","we could have a party on Sunday. And I have to go to church on Sunday, to see my sister, I haven't seen her since last year. And I wouldn't like to go","and here I have a little piece of paper where I've made a list of all the things that I'm going to write about and so on. Oh! and I've got to write to","oh I know it. I know. You'll see, it's so funny. Well, I'll go and sit down now. I'll put my knitting on the table. And you, you","and this is all about a little boy that I was looking at a little boy when I was in Italy... in the country, a little boy, and the sun was shining, an","there are some pictures, and the pictures of a tree. I don't remember, they are all black and white. And the pictures are of a tree that has fallen do","we saw two children, both were a little under one year old, and they were just in the process of learning to walk. It was a little garden in front of ","there's a story in the Times about a girl who's having a baby. They say she's going to give birth in a few days. The baby is going to be the size of a","what we do here in the laboratory, I see. I see the lady on the microscope, and I see the red button and I see this big, beautiful white baby and I se","and I think she is too young to be out, she is only four years old. But her mother is very pretty. She has a lovely nose and beautiful eyes, and a lov","a little girl and a boy playing in the street with a carton of milk and a little boy sitting in a chair and a little girl standing behind him holding ","I am an old woman... and my house is old and my husband died last summer, and my son is away in the army. I have a little son. My son is a sailor. My","you know, I'm very tired. I can't walk in the snow. It's terrible. I don't want to be alone in the house. I want to be with my mother. I","I've always wanted to have a child, and when I saw that little baby girl lying there, I thought: I'd like to have a baby girl just like her. I said: O","I am getting old and I am dying and I am getting weaker. I cannot eat anything now because I can't get to the table, my arms are too weak. And I am al","and they're having a party tonight... and they're going to put the men's shirts on the girls and the girls' shirts on the men and you know how they lo","And he's gonna be a man next summer. And he's gonna wear a hat, and he'll wear a jacket, and he's gonna have a tie on. And he'll have on a","It's a very interesting picture. You know, you know the little dog, with the little stick with a little ball. It's the little boy who's been eating ca","I know I could've said, 'It's your own fault, you just don't know,' but I didn't. It was a little late for that. The little baby's still asleep.","there's one thing that I can't stand, it's when people start to eat food. I always make sure to go around and get all the food out of sight. And that'","I think I've been thinking about going to see that picture that was here today that I'd never seen before... I think it's a picture of a pig that's de","I've been dreaming all my life. I dreamed a dream. It was a long time ago, and I dreamed about a white house, and a white horse. I was sitting on a bi","and he looked up, and looked at the little girl, and said: 'Mammy, I'm not a little boy anymore.' and she said: 'No, you're not, honey","it was just like I was in my old school, and they was putting me in the back, and I was so mad! ... 'Go in the back! Go in the back!' 'Why","The baby, baby, baby. Oh, dear baby! ... No, don't!... Oh, no, don't touch the baby! ... It's dead! ... Dead! ... I'll","It was an awful sight. The thing was about the size of a cricket ball and was red and looked like a blister. And it was hurting too. And it hurt me. A","and I saw the thing that was inside me, and it had a little face, and it was trying to get out, and it hurt so much. I knew that if it got out, it","and so you'd get on the train and you'd go on and on, and you'd get off, and you'd walk out, and you'd see her, and then she'd take you","and so the time came when she could do it herself. And it was all right, and she had no more trouble after that. She only got a bit frightened at firs","I am going to give them some of the juice. No, they have some of it. I want to give them some, but I'll have to do it in a few minutes. I'll","a red rose... and a blue rose, and a white rose, and I have a little white rose and I gave it to you... and a white one that came down from heaven... ","and I'm in a garden, and there's a tree, and there are strawberries all around the tree, and I'm looking down at them and I'm picking them, and they'r","I like to look at the moon. I'm looking at it right now, I can't see it now, but I can see it in my mind. I can hear it too. It's","now I am walking, and it's getting darker, the trees are tall, the grass is growing. I am sitting down. I am lying down. I am running. I am going up.","I'm sitting by a pond, in a meadow, in summer. It's raining. It's pouring, downpour. I'm sitting at the edge of the pond, and I'm sitting","I am going to talk about the way you could sit, you know, sitting down with your knees apart, and I have to think about how to do that, but I think th","the clouds have gone. the clouds have disappeared. I am alone, alone, alone. ... there are the woods ... I see the wood, I see the wood. ... and the w","and suddenly I saw a small, light, little boat on the sea, the waves were rising and falling, the wind was blowing, it was like a child's dream. But n","and the words are all like a string of beads, and one word is stuck in the middle of another word, and another word comes to the front, and I'm in a d","you know how that sounds like music? Well, I'm going to sing it, because that's what I'm thinking. That's what I want. I'm singing to myself, and I ca","but I don't want to go to the theatre, I don't know what to do now. ... (pause) What shall I do? What shall I? (pause) It's hot and","And then I thought of an idea for a story... I shall go into the room to get my notebook. 'Here it is!' I said as I put it on the table beside me, and","I'm thinking of a bird, it has two wings, it's got one foot and one claw. A bird. I see a bird. It's got a big bill, and a long tail","and there's a hole in the ground, and there's a flower in the hole, and it's yellow and pink. The hole's a round hole. Oh, you don't understand the ho","I'll go down, down, down. It's not very far now. I can't see anything. It's very dark. I think I've seen a mouse, and I've seen two","Oh, a funny man! ... Oh! I'll write him a note ... Oh! ... It's my brother's birthday tomorrow. I'll write to him and give him the money for his prese","I have seen a man with a little black dog in his pocket that I liked very much. It was a little brown dog. And the man had a little black dog. Oh, he ","you can't do that to your own body, you would kill yourself; no, that's a little bit too long, I'll have to shorten it. No, I'll leave the head off","and I am sitting in my study, and I am reading, and I don't know where to get the ink, I'll have to go to the kitchen and see if there is any ink ther","and then she goes to a country in India and they don't have the name of a place, and there's only the name of the country and the name of their king, ","I remember that I was a child once. ... My mother is gone, and she's never comin' back. ... And my sister's gone and she's a young lady now, and she","and we went to see a play on Wednesday - I don't know - it was a little after lunch, and then we went and had lunch - I don't remember where we went, ","I was looking at my watch. It had a cuckoo clock in it. And he was singing a song and it was a long song and it sang three times and then it went to s","there was an old lady up here, and I think I'd better go up and see her. There wasn't anybody there when I came in, and I had to get my key out of the","I want you to keep going on, because I want to make you keep going. I'm going to help you on. You think of something and say it out loud. I'll see wha","a girl and a boy and they were holding each other's hands and walking down a dark street with the light of a lamp shining on them from the street and ","and this is just where it was, but they don't have no words for it and we are on the road and they are taking turns, and it is a nice summer night and","a small dark room, and in the middle a little pool of light, and then the girl with a white gown and a crown of roses, and she's asleep in a bed, and ","and it is in the dark room that they will find the woman who loves her husband, but is so afraid to tell him because of the look in his eyes and the w","I know what you're going to say, I know what you were going to say before you said it, that's the thing, I know everything that you're thinking about ","this is where she started...yes, here, she began to talk, and I got out of bed, and went into the kitchen and turned on the lights, and said, 'Oh, goo","and there he was, and there's the dog, and he was laughing, and I said, 'what's he laughing at?' and he said, 'he's laughing at your hair, because","I'm going to have a baby. And it's a girl, too, and she's going to be a baby, and I'm going to name her Alice Alice. And I'll have to","and he did. He did it. And I thought, oh my God, oh my Lord, I'd rather see my daddy, than my father, than the President. I'd rather have him","oh, well, I'll go to the little green store for some eggs and I'll bring it down, and I'll call you, and you can come to the little red house and I'll","we went out, and he took off my jacket and the girls in the car, and he looked at me. And the sun was setting and all the bushes and the grass was gre","I think there are five of them, and the other four is the ones that I went and got. Well, I went over to the yard and the man that had the cart was ou","and, we was riding, riding down the road, down the road with the big brown cow, and she was yodeling, and I was goin' to feed the cow, and I","I'm sitting with my feet up. I'm on the sofa and I'm sitting and looking out at the river and I'm thinking I can't think. I can't find it and I can","I don't know whether it was the sound of the sea. It was the sound...I don't remember exactly what it was, but there was a sound. I don't know what it","but she was all the way through the garden, and he'd run away and left her all alone. She was crying, poor little lamb. I couldn't see her face. Then ","And he was sitting down on the floor with the flowers. And I went and sat down beside him and took one of them out and put it in his lap and then he w","and you're not dead. You're not dead, and you're still here. Still here! You're still here, you're still alive. You're still alive, you're not... you","oh, what an odd feeling this is... I wonder, is this a dream?... Oh, it's just my imagination, nothing more... no, no, no! There's something else behi","I remember, I remember the time that I was a child. And I remember a time when I was a little boy. I remember that I used to like to sleep on the gras","and it's going to be a fine summer. And when we go to the fair, it's going to rain and be very cold. Oh, that's right. I never said what we were","now it's raining. And if I just sat in here, and listened to it all I could, and let it keep pouring, I shouldn't have to go anywhere today. And I sho","and this morning, the car wasn't here. It wasn't here at all. I found a place and we went out there. It was so dark. I couldn't find it. We were","I see this chair, it's got a white, white... what is it?... it's got white on it, and then blue. There's some blue on it. The chair's blue","it's all the same, we all wear the same clothes, no matter what, I have a beautiful blouse, it's purple with blue and yellow, it's a beautiful blouse ","It's too hot. I'd better go down to the sea, the sea's nice and cold and cool. Oh, but I'll have to go back for my umbrella. I don't think","my arms are sore. I need to get up and stretch out my arms. I can't think of any books at home. There aren't any books at my house. I'm tired of being","there's a tree in my yard, and there's a big dog on the lawn. There's a man on a bike with a hat that has a little hole in the brim. He has","a big glass table... I had a big glass bowl and a lot of silverware, I think. I was cooking something, I was baking a cake, and I was taking it out of","[I'm] looking at the sun. Oh, it's a bright, golden sun. It looks like it's shining on the street. I think it's in the street, shining on the","you'd be surprised, it's a very interesting thing to look at a house and see it's a house. And then you see all the lights, you can see the lights ins","I've been thinking about this. It's a little funny. I can't think of a word for it, but it's a little... Well, it's like a thing with a bunch of","I was watching a program on TV the other day... I guess it was a cooking program. There was a girl. She had a...a big big apron on...a red apron...","oh yes I do have to say that I'm going to be at home for supper to-day and I'm going to make it just right, just right. That's what I'm going to say","and then I think of how many things I need to do before going home. Like, get the children, get them dinner, get their clothes on, get their shoes on,","what's this, uh, I don't know what it is. Oh, this is a book, this is an open book. Oh, is this a book? I think it's a book","I think the letters 'T, T, A' are the beginning of some words. That's the word 'tree,' or 'tray,' or 'tissue.' I'll say it.","Oh, the game, the game. Oh, yes, the game of croquet, yes, croquet. Well, I'm going to have to find out how to play it. Oh,","this is a think-aloud study. Now I'm thinking of a picture of the moon in the night sky, but it isn't a picture of a picture, but of an actual moon. A","[I'm] remembering a picture I drew when I was six. It was a picture of a little girl in a dress. She was playing in a little house. There were little ","oh, what I'd like to do, now, is, make some kind of pattern, you know, like the one I made today. It was a little bit like that. I think I","and a picture of a little girl, little girl with a pink dress and a hat on. And the hat, it was a little boy's hat with two little red wings on it. It","and then the horse did come, and we started out. I guess we had about six horses and a pony. And I think I had the little pony. And we was riding it a","this one's a story, too, it was at a birthday party, they had a big cake, and the kids were all down on the floor, and she was holding her big cup and","I have some big dreams. I'm going to be the biggest singer in the world. I'm so glad I went to the dance. It was fun. I'm getting up there. I'm","I think the lady's sitting there in the room, but I don't think she's talking to anybody. I don't know what she's talking about. She's not saying anyt","and I was like, 'Well, I don't know where it was, but it was over there and I looked for it and couldn't find it, and so I looked at my hand and","I wonder what it's like to be dead? It's like I was dead and then I came back to life, and then I was dead again, and then I lived, and then they said","this is the second one we had, the last one was last week, and then we had the first one a week before that. So we had the second one and the first on","I was in the desert in California, and the sand was blowing in my face and my eyes. It was a windy day and there was no rain coming, and I was going t","I guess you can't think of nothing. You're always thinkin' somethin'. I never can think of nothin'. I guess I got a bad head. Well, what's the","what time is it? oh, oh, it's after twelve. I guess I'd better go to bed, I'm tired. Well, I wish I had some hot chocolate. I'm so","well, the weather's awful now, and it's going to rain all night, and I got to go in the kitchen and get the pail of water and put it in the basement, ","and then i was thinking about that time when i got stuck in the mud on my bicycle, and i thought, what if it was raining and i couldn't get out? and t","a nice piece of blue denim. it's a new blue denim jacket. i think it's a little big but i need it because it's warm. i like my new jeans. i want to","and I went out the door and I was going to go to the store and I was like hey I should take this... I should take these... but then i forgot about it.","the baby is crying. i think the baby's crying because... she doesn't have anything to eat... oh, the baby's not crying anymore. she's... she's... oh, ","and then the thought of how i did it and how i did i did it... and then the sound of the alarm and i was in the kitchen and it was like i was on my wa","then it's going to be like this. I've been trying to write a story about a girl who goes into the woods and she finds a mushroom and then she makes a ","I was watching a video about a couple of birds... They were in a nest, and it was falling... And I was thinking about how the birds were going to try ","and then he went to the zoo and saw the monkey and the birds and the snake and the elephant and then he went home and ate a sandwich and then he playe","and then the bird got caught in the spider web, and then the spider ate the bird... and then the birds ate the spiders... and then I had to wash my ha","and it's like that you have to do this and that, but you have to do it like this and like that. And you have to watch the birdies. And then, like, you","I know this. It's about an old friend of mine, she was a singer and she was singing for a really famous band, but she was really good at it, and I mis","I'm playing piano. I'm playing with my sister. She's playing with the cat. I'm thinking about my cat. I want to talk about her. My cat's name is Chib","I was like, okay Iโ€™m gonna go to the store, Iโ€™m gonna get some clothes and then weโ€™re gonna go to a bar... I was like what do you want to do? And","I had this really cool dream last night that was like a nightmare and I was in a forest and I was like, 'I'm not going to die' and I was running and I","the light on the screen was on, like a flashlight...I don't know...it's a scary thing...I don't want to wake up in a creepy place...but I'm not scared","a monkey is running up a tree. He's a monkey, he's a monkey running up a tree... what's his name? I don't know. It doesn't matter. I'm not","i think it's a great idea but it's not gonna happen in my lifetime. i mean that's not the way i think of things. it's just gonna happen when it's mean","I am thinking about all of the things that I haven't done yet. I still have to clean the house. I still need to do the laundry. I also need to make so","so... and then there was a guy... he had like a... a really cool... a really big... really... like a really... like, like a... like a... just a really","we should start the whole thing over, then we could be the real, you know, the real people. We're like robots, right, we're like, we're not, we're rea","a big truck, it's a big truck coming down the road, and it's gonna hit me! *cough cough* oh yeah, i'm falling down a hill, i'm rolling down","it's like... you know when you're walking and you just like... it's like a walk but you know, you're just walking and you're like... you're like, like","yeah i was watching like some like, uh, the last season of a show called, like, uh... like... uh... what do you call it like, uh what was it like? i","i'm thinking about how i should start doing this project...like if i should do it with a group or something...oh man, i forgot about the project...lik","i can't remember the last time i was home so i thought maybe it's been a while and i went to my sister's house to see her but then i realized i was ta","uh uh okay so then uh so I can I can imagine that that would be really bad uh especially because uh they're like they're like uh like they're they're ","um what's a good topic um i dunno um what's the topic we should talk about um um i dunno it's it's hard to think of something um um yeah maybe we coul","I was thinking about how I don't think about my ex boyfriend that much. I mean, I haven't seen him for like, three years. Like, we broke up like, two ","because I really like how I'm looking right now. I like how my hair is just right. it's not too messy. i like my face. i'm not too gross looking. i do","I just feel like I'm getting more comfortable in my skin. Like, I've been through a lot of stuff, and I've learned a lot about myself, and I'm happy t","I was thinking about you when I was reading this because you know you said that you wanted to be a writer like me and so I was like 'oh that's really ","I don't think I would know what to do with it, like I don't know how to make it into a tattoo or anything. I mean, it would just be weird on me, I","and then I just like when i get like this and i just feel so sad, like i'm so sad. I just like, like I know you're reading this, like I just feel so","I think it was when I was a little girl I remember there was like this one person I used to have a crush on. And I remember he used to have like these","[thinking about a song by] Taylor Swift, 'The Best Days Of Our Lives.' We were gonna do a 10 minute karaoke session... but we were like, โ€˜Oh Iโ€™m","yeah, I'm gonna talk to you later. I'm gonna send you a message, we're going to talk more about how my mom is doing. I just need to talk to you, and","I want to start with a picture of a 3D object, and I want it to be something thatโ€™s kind of like a cube, but with one side curved. So, itโ€™s kind","so I'm like, oh, that's a great one... I didn't know you could do that, I like it. Yeah, it's good. I love the name, like it's","and then like i'm standing in front of a mirror and i see my face and i go hey it's not pretty that's kind of like the other day i was like that and i","I was at my ex's house and she was watching some kind of a TV show, and I was on my phone and she was like, 'Hey, you can turn that off if you want","a lot of the people who are the most successful, they're like, I'm like this, I'm very smart, I'm doing this thing, like you know, they're on Instagra","yeah, like my like, like my work and I've been really like stressed out with my work, like, but I feel like I'm doing pretty good at my work. I just l","I just realized I don't have a beard. I'm kind of scared of that. I think it's just going to make me look really old and I don't really want to look o","I'm not sure I actually have an image of what it's like. Like I have a rough idea, but I'm not sure. So it's like I'm gonna try to imagine a body","yeah and it's weird because I had no idea that they would even do this until I saw the video... so I'm like, I'm not going to do this and I'm going to","I'm going to have to call my mom because my computer is not working so I can't log into my school's website and I need to send an assignment to my tea","the whole thing just really hits you and you can't...like I just heard this podcast the other day about...about someone...they were like a teen...16 y","I think I'll have a snack in like 15 minutes or whatever. I'm pretty tired, but I think I can make it through this. It's funny how I'm on a laptop","and then the other guy just like got a little frustrated and I don't know he's like he's like what are you doing, but like he's not trying to be mean ","uh... what is it like? You know, what is it like to have an old brain that's not working? ... You know what's really funny is like, what if you had to","yeah, we were just going to go do like, you know, like, like, what is like the, like the, uh, like, the, uh. Yeah, I, I don","like it's a 10,000-year-old cave painting or something or like it's from like a long time ago, I don't know if I'm like, you know,","And I think it's going to be hard. I think that's probably gonna be hard, probably just because I don't know how much it's going to suck in the end. B","so it was like, you know, my, my roommate's like, 'oh, you know it was really weird like I was, you know like the one day when you were like in the","oh, so you can tell me what you're feeling, you know, and just share that with me. I don't know, just, like, let me know, I don't need,","you know I am talking about something that is, that is more in like a future like, I think about the future a lot. And like, I'm like, I feel like I'm","there's just a lot of different feelings going on, but I think it's probably mostly, like, a combination of nervousness and anxiety about this being a","just thinking about this...so I'm thinking about my sister is probably on her way to be a therapist...I don't really know her that well...she's not a ","yeah, it's so weird. Like I think it's just, it's just a weird thing for people who have that social anxiety to be in that kind of space like having a","I was just thinking that if I had to choose between my mom and my dad, I would choose my mom because she would always make me feel loved and safe, and","I was in a meeting with some of the people that I work with... We have this company where I work. And one of the employees is a child. And it's just r","I was like, 'I'll just make a bucket list and then I'll just have a list of things I want to do, and I'll have a list for things that I can't do","and that's what's cool about it, is like if you're a very creative person, like if you like writing, or whatever you like to write about, it's like yo","I want to have a lot of friends who can help me with my ideas. And then, like, I want to make a game with my friends that's like a strategy game but l","it's like a puzzle where I need to figure out which pieces go together. Maybe the best way is to ask for help or join a community of people who love p","what I've been thinking about recently is like a big puzzle box or like a jigsaw puzzle, but it's not a regular jigsaw puzzle. I'm trying to figure ou","oh, you know I have a lot of stuff I don't wanna share with people. It's just not something I wanna put out there in public, you know? Like, I just, I","Iโ€™m doing a thinking out loud for a project that I work on. Iโ€™m just like, trying to think of all the little little things that I would do, and Iโ€™ve b","[I was] thinking about when we can get an appointment for my mom [and] I don't think it's going to be until June or July, [or] maybe even later than t","And we're still in this cycle of the last three weeks, like, going through the same things. And you're not, like, thinking about how much you're doing","my two weeks at the center was really good because it was a really nice environment. I've been going there for about a month, I don't think I'm going ","I think I had a job, a part-time job, maybe last year. I didn't make much money. I mean, I worked about 10 to 15 hours a week,","I think this is like a bad joke. It's a bad joke, I can't believe people are actually doing this. I don't understand what they're trying to prove, lik","you're talking to people that you've never met before. So how would you feel if you're like a recruiter or something like that and you're talking to s","yeah, I think it's a bit more complicated than just the number of times you're vaccinated, right? I think it depends a little bit on how well the vacc","So, uh, yeah, I guess I haven't really thought about, um, the concept of a third space for me. Like, I haven't been thinking about, like, what my thir","I feel like my life is kind of weird. I donโ€™t know where my life is going and Iโ€™m not sure thatโ€™s a bad thing. I feel like Iโ€™ve kind of done everythin","I remember when I used to have a very hard time. I was about 16. I went to high school, and I had a girlfriend that I was dating for a while, and we","Iโ€™m gonna go to sleep. I have a little girl who Iโ€™m going to be at the house with her until about 2 or 3 oโ€™clock in the morning, and Iโ€™ve","it's all a bit of a blur at the moment, I don't remember what happened. I had a really nice chat with some of the girls last night, and we went for a ","I'm really not interested in a job like that at all. I am really not. It doesn't interest me at all. So I can see it as a nice job, I don't have","And I'm sitting here with my cat and I'm listening to the new season of 'Game of Thrones' which is really good. And then I've also got a lot of time, ","we talked to the person that was like, hey, I have a couple of clients, like, can you help me, can you like help me get better on these, like, clients","the difference between you and the other people in the room is, like, you're like, you want to be more productive and more productive, you know, so, s","So we have to think about like what what exactly we need to be doing in this space, you know, and then once we have those goals and objectives we can ","I'm looking at the 15% increase in GDP that we just got and it's good that it's been rising but, like I said, it was pretty flat for a while. I","I'm like the head of the company and I'm like, the other person's like, yeah, we'll take it to the bank. I'm like, OK, it's not really that","And the most important part of it is that when you're in a meeting, you're not being evaluated by people who don't know you. You know, like I don't li","I feel like we're kind of on the cusp of something. And I'm thinking about this concept of the internet. And I know I've always been a little skeptica","I have a question that comes up over and over again for me: the question of how do you maintain a relationship with an abusive partner who is abusing ","and so the challenge for me is to see how that might play out in terms of how I go about doing that, the people I'm going to have to talk to, the kind","So, I think about it. It's a very important thing, right? And then you think, okay, so this is what we have to do to get this done, and this is how","so yeah, we're always thinking about our team, we're thinking about, 'what are we trying to accomplish? How can we optimize the experience? How can ou","and I think that it's interesting because I'm like in the industry for a while, I had the privilege of working with a lot of big names, and I think on","the thing that we see, we have a tendency to focus on what we see, and that's what we're going to learn more and more. But as a result, the data that ","it is this [the question of] what is the role of AI, what are the limits, what are we going to do in the future, and what are the benefits that we can","you know, you know, this is a new idea, that you know, what I mean, and, and I think, I mean, that this is, this is not a new idea and","the fact that there are a lot of people in our country and around the world who are in a very precarious situation and who don't have enough food to e","there is something in our society that has happened for a long time and that is that the so-called experts, the elites, the people who are the ones wh","I am a political animal, that's what I am, so I can't not be political. And so the first thing that you do is you find the person that you like. And t","Iโ€™m not sure what I should do with my life. I donโ€™t have a very clear vision for that yet. But I have a certain sense of what I think I want to do in ","a lot of things you can do when you're in a meeting. Like if you're in an engineering meeting and you think to yourself, 'well, let me try this', it's","And then the second day I go and say, 'hey, I'm really sorry, I really appreciate what you're doing and I'm really hoping to be able to do some of thi","I had a job in a bank in 2004, so that was very interesting. I was working as a project manager in the bank, and the project was the mortgage originat","So the reason why I think I'm going to write an article about this is that I have been seeing a lot of examples of this happening and I think it's a b","and I'm going to go over to this section, and I'm looking at the 12 months that we had this year. And so, I have a good sense of, you know,","this is my favorite part of my research, this is one of my favorite parts of my research. I just thought about it, just thought about this, I didn't d","I know you have to write this down. If you have a paper and a pen, that's fine. If not, you have a laptop, and you have a note-taking app that you can","well, and then I remember I'm doing this session so I have to make sure that I'm not just going off on tangents. So, what I'll do is just say, think a","And the idea of it was just, I'm just gonna say, I'm gonna talk about how it's not going to be perfect but it's gonna be a good idea and then we'll do","I don't understand. I thought I was supposed to be asking questions to find the answer, but then I look at the answer and it's not even close, so how ","okay, we're gonna talk about the idea of being able to be in the same location as our users in the field and we're gonna take a quick break. But I thi","and now we're back to the last one, which is I think it's a better idea. You don't have to do a lot of planning on the server side, but it's easy to","but how about just saying yes, and then saying no. I'll say yes. I'll go ahead with the analysis, and then I'll say no, and I'll cancel this analysis.","and then it gets like this, it's a bit like, it's like a group of people, but it's like the people are actually being guided by an entity, or an AI. A","the first thing that comes to my mind, well, I don't have any experience with, or any information about this, I was just wondering if the world is big","oh I just need to know if there's a way to look into a chat and find out what is the last message that was sent... or the most recent message that was","[the participant is thinking about a story] a woman in the subway with a baby. She has this baby and she's walking on the subway and she has this bag ","I'm not sure this is the right approach, because I think if I'm going to be successful, I should be able to use an AI, not just one AI, but a collecti","I'm not sure how many minutes you guys were looking at, I'm trying to figure that out. There was like a few minutes of just, I think they just had lik","okay so the other thing I wanted to talk about is also the idea of like the way people sort of present themselves online and in general, and I'm curio","so then I have a set of 111 of these little, small things, and I want to combine them into a bunch of combinations where they're all in one of those t","okay, you know, you get into your car, you start your car, and you think about, you know how to get to where you want to go, you know if you're in you","I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, I got an email, I just got an email. I think I just saw, I think I got an invite. I think it's a message","this is an experiment... [laughing] ...an experiment... so I have an experiment... I don't know why... so I just wanna say hello to my... [laughing ag","I'm gonna start this video and I'll put in my notes and I'll record myself and I'm gonna put in my voice and I'm going to read the first article about","this is a podcast about podcasting and I'm trying to decide what to say to you. So, what to say? ... this is just kind of like a, you know, if you had","I'm doing this on purpose. I want to try and get a feel for the kinds of thoughts that go on in people's heads. I just have a sense that sometimes whe","you know that we were trying to do this, that we're like, 'Okay, I'll give it to him and you'll give it back to me and I'll give it again to you","I was thinking about the 'if I were an alien' experiment, and that, and, you know, the aliens were going to come back to earth and then we would all b","that is like a problem that a computer could solve. Like I can give it a problem that it could solve, and then it can give me an answer. So there is s","Oh! I think that I have a solution for the first task now, maybe. So this is where the real problem comes in: we don't know the solution. And so when ","now we can use the model, the one with the number of particles, and the one with velocity, the one that we've been working on, and then we can take a ","I'm going to turn this. I'm going to try to think of a better way of doing this. I should be able to do this in fewer steps, and I'm going to use the","I've been using it, and I think I can use this, because you have to have a system of variables to be able to solve this system. So I'm trying to work ","I think I just asked this question to myself in a different way, I said this is a function of a finite field with two elements. So I could just do thi","10 times 10 is 100... 100 plus 25 plus 24... 150 plus 16, 164.","I am not really sure. I have no idea what the word is for that. That's a very difficult problem. What I want to do is to look at the problem that I ha","the example of the particle filter. So, I think it's really a good example of a sequential algorithm that doesn't really make any sense to think about","it's like the opposite of a poem, but it's more like the opposite of an essay, right? And then, like, I want to try to think about my thoughts in term","The only way I can think to do that, and this is sort of a hacky way, is I could use some sort of, like, a library for each word, and then you look","I have a bunch of tools that are all capable of solving some kind of problem and I just need to choose one and use it on this problem, so, let's see, ","[a]re we here at the point where we can actually see the [effect of a specific intervention], if we can actually detect it, and if we can get the [con","and I have this idea, let's say that we have a function like f(x). And you know, we're going to write it like this: f(x) = x squared + 2","okay, so we're gonna go into our first question. This is our first question: what's the value of being able to look at some of these results? What's t","I was looking at the page. There's a page about this, called the page of the 3. So there's a page 0, 1, 2, 3,","I don't know where I'm going, but I can find it. I'm going to the bottom of the list here. If I find a list in a book and it's labeled as the","so what are we gonna do with our time here? Like, what are we going to be doing? Like, I don't know, we could just write things out, or we could, uh","so we had this conversation and he was like oh, we're going to do this, we're doing a web app, we're using gRPC, and we're going to write some of the","So it's the most important thing, is the most important task for the world to make a smart and automated car that can get into an accident and not kil","I remember a time, when I was in high school. And I was doing a project, where we had to make something. We had to make a project to show off a produc","I wonder how many times you've seen an error message on a computer. How many times have you had to Google how to fix it. How many hours have you lost ","and then he did it. That's how it went down. He did it. He said he did it, I don't think he was kidding. He really did it. Yeah, I believe","... the whole thing is this, and it is a massive waste of time for the most part, it's not useful at all. We don't have to go through that. You know, ","well, I guess the other big thing in terms of like, when we're working on, you know, on a team is like, well, what's the right thing to do? If you","you know, in my mind, I think about, I've done, I'm done with this. And I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna be a,","uh, so the thing is, you know, uh, I'm worried about the whole AI thing, you know. It's a lot of concern that uh, the the the uh, the AG","I don't know what it is, but I have a weird sense that we're being watched. Like we're being studied or something. Like something in our house has cha","I have a vision. It is very vague, but I see, I am seeing, I'm seeing a series of numbers. And I'm thinking, oh, it's just a random number generator","The world has been split, as we know, into two parts: the private world that I'm inside of, that I'm looking at, and then the public world, the world ","I've got this feeling I can go into this world of knowledge and of data and information, and I'm just gonna get into it and just see if there's anythi","I am in a small town with people who are trying to understand what is happening to me. I am being probed to find out what my understanding is of the s","the whole notion of the state as a kind of a surveillance device, where we have people who are responsible for ensuring that things are functioning pr","And this is a part of the story of my life and of my existence in general, and this is what I am now, and this was what I used to be and this is the w","I can see some sort of object. It's got an interesting structure. It's a kind of a lattice of things, some of which are connected together. It's actua","it's really important, but it's also not... it's important for some of our clients... for some clients, they may not want to be a part of a study... t","a bunch of things are going on. I'm thinking about the kind of things I'm thinking, like I have to think about what are the kind of issues that I thin","the most difficult problem in our society today, of course, is climate change. So, there's a lot of concern around that and it's a very difficult prob","and then I was a child. And then I was the child of a mother. And then the mother of my father's mother was my mother. And then she had a child, a son","it's been a couple of years since I had to do that. In fact, I actually remember now, I started off, I went to the office and they were working on the","and I think a lot of them are so incredibly focused on the small things, they don't see the big picture. It's like we've been doing this, and we've ha","I have a hard time with the time-based metrics. And the other thing is that the more that the project is distributed, the less I know about it. So if ","what we see and how we see it is... you know it's a sort of... I'm a very visual thinker, so I've never really... it's a visual thing, so it's","the reason the graph looks this way is that, say, you have one peak at the end of a single time, but the other peaks are spread out over a range of ti","the fact that, the fact that there are 32.1 percent of the world's people who are in the first two or third quintiles, you know, of income, is, that","this is what is important to me, which is to make the transition from my understanding of the world from the 20th century, the 21st century. To make t","the data is the sum of the observations that we have made, and we use it to make decisions about the world. And we can be sure of it in two ways. Eith","I know that the field has the right to a decision, the court of appeals, and that I will be able to present all the evidence. The court will, if it's ","[s]o my wife and I have been thinking of taking a trip to Europe. And this is sort of an experiment in decision making. I mean, we're not going to do ","and so it's kind of the same, I think, as we did in our previous, I think our previous session, you know, we'd just have, we'd had a lot of issues","I have this thought that I need to be more like a more open to, or to the more open to others, like in, for example, the concept of like, uh, like, li","[I] was like, I am like a consumer of software. I like to see software with the option of using the API, meaning I have to do some sort of thing that ","I feel really good right now. I feel really... excited for the future. Like I can actually... actually see myself becoming a product manager. Yeah, I ","it's funny you ask about that, because I've had a couple of those instances where I've been like 'I wonder what if this was an AIGPAI instance' and th","I'm starting to think that's exactly the thing that I'm going to do. Like, when I think about it, it's very similar to the idea of just like a proxy o","the most common thing is that you might see something and just think, 'Oh, this is so much more important than this, but it's so much more complicated","this is a funny way to do things because I think people are really good at noticing things that are important in their own lives, but we really don't ","and now I'm gonna talk about the past. I just... I just realized that this past week, I've had a lot of negative feelings towards people at work, and ","So I guess I'm asking why some of those questions, you know, why does it matter what you say to people on these questions? I mean, why do you even wan","I was thinking about this project that I'm working on at the moment, and I was thinking about what I have learned, what I've learned so far and I thin","okay. I'm a big believer in doing things that can be done, and I don't think that we necessarily need to be doing a lot of fancy research or fancy exp","I think the kind of thing you want to do is something like... well, I've heard of this called the idea generator, I think it's an idea generator. It's","it's always like if I'm on the bus, I'm going to work, like a million different things can come to my mind, and then I try to do my work, and I'm","this is all like what the author was saying about, you know, it's like the problem solving in this case, it's actually like, it's a form of problem-so","[I'm] in a kind of a state of trance. I have this sense of like a, like a kind of, I've got like a like a like an experience, I'm in","I think about a new computer. I think about it being able to be... to be able to be a cloud computer and to be able to work. I think about what cloud ","it's the difference between... an image that's not very good in quality and an image that has high quality. So, I don't know, maybe I need to put it t","so if you have an idea about how you want to implement a function in your app or whatever and you have a good understanding of the domain, then it's p","the main issue is how to get a bunch of data points on how people are doing, so that we can see what the distribution of that looks like, and then we ","and you can see how this is going to be like if you're just on a single node and you're just in the single node and then you're going to do it for a s","... yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughs] I mean, I don't know, I think it's a good question. And I think this is where like the theory of evolution kind of take","And then we need to make sure that the other team can deliver their own, because they're really big and complicated as well. And so, that's the first ","I'm going to write a blog post about that. It's just so interesting because I haven't had this kind of issue with the LLMs before. I've been using Ope","what I'm doing here is I'm writing notes and I'm also writing notes on my other laptop here, and I'm doing it simultaneously. So I've got two laptops.","there was a movie, I think it's called the Godfather, and I'm not sure, maybe the Godfather part II, where there's this big big party, and so there's ","So I'm thinking about... I was just watching a YouTube video on my phone about the... about the... the the... the... the importance of having a growth","yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think I think about it. I'm not even like thinking about it. It's just, it's just. You know. It's","Okay, so. I just, I don't know. It's, it's pretty funny. I, I think it's just like, it's like, it's kind of like I'm","So it's like, you can't just like, make an assumption that someone has a particular disease, you have to ask them for their permission and then explai","oh, I'll be doing some kind of research on, on like, what the, what the thing, what the actual like, the, the actual like physical process is, you kno","I'm thinking of an idea. The thing I'm going to do is just go to this guy on the other end of the spectrum, and just have him give me this idea and I ","okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so the idea that the more you practice something, the more you should get better at it. But I think the more I pra","I wonder if there's a way to make the code more efficient? Maybe I should look into some optimization techniques. Oh, I remember reading about this on","So I was doing this project on a new technology for my research. And it was about machine learning, and I was trying to implement a new model to class","well, it's like when you're doing something and you're not paying attention and you're doing it and you're just like... you're just doing it and then ","So like... this is just me rambling off things that are in my head... but I think the biggest thing is... like... how do I... what would I do if I had","the question is whether I'm right about the approach of the EU. The answer to the question is no, the answer is yes. The approach of the EU is, as I u","okay. I'm in my bed, it's a rainy day, I'm sitting on the bed, I'm typing on a keyboard, I'm thinking about my work, I'm doing something,","you know what you know what you don't know? Like you're in a meeting and somebody asks you a question. I'm like what what do I know about that? Like h","I'm sorry, I don't know how to start. What I was talking about was, what is the probability of an event? And I can't think of a good way to start. Lik"],["there are some things I can't think of. Things that I know but can't. I can't remember them, they're just not coming. I don't know how. I think they'r","I want to put it on the shelf, because it's a bit heavy, and I can't carry it down. But it's on the bed, and it's got to be taken down to","the thought that I should have asked my boss to let me go back to the hospital, because I really want to be there, and I just didn't have the energy t","and when you get older, I really, really want to come back and do that. Because when I was your age, I had the same thought, and I went to all the dif","I think I have a dream that I'm a girl and I have a baby... a child... I'm going to have a child... that I have a child, a boy, a son,","And I am not so sure that I am really doing what I want to do. I really don't know what I want. I am so happy to have found you. I have never been so","you know I was saying that you have a lot of control over what you are doing, how you are feeling and I know that, and I know you can do something to ","it's just that my partner's not a very good judge of people. She likes people, but she's very good at keeping her judgement to herself and letting the","it was a long time ago...maybe when I was in college. I didn't think too much about my father...I didn't know him very well. I didn't want to. He was","what was I saying? I can't remember. I don't think I'm very good at this. I mean, I'm trying. But I don't want to be. It's very hard","I don't know what I can say about the girl, really. She's a good person, but I don't know if I could really go out with her. I think she's nice enough","I'd like to ask you a few more questions about the last part of the movie. How do you think it was going to end? I'll write down what you say. All rig","And then I'm going to go to the doctor and have a checkup and then after that I'll go home and I'll have to clean the house and I'll probably go out t","And I have this friend from college that used to come around, he used to come around all the time. He's a cop. He works down at the post office, he wo","I'm tired. I think I'm going to go home now. I have some things to do before I go home, but I think I'll go home right now. I think it's pretty","it's like you're in your old house now, that old house you lived in before, with all your old stuff in it. You know, it's like it was just last night,","I don't know what you're talking about. What's your name? Oh, well, I'm not going to be able to go to the doctor today. I was going to go see Dr","I have been in here a long time. I don't know how long. It's like the house. It's a big house. It used to be a big house, but it's a","[I] can see you, all right. I see you in front of me. I see your eyes, and your face is all right. You're a nice man. You don't look","I'm thinking of my old house. That was the last house I ever owned. I lived in the basement and the master bedroom. There was a bedroom downstairs and","I was looking through the book of the things that were taken away from me when I got into this house. There's a lot of things in there. There's two pi","and that was my mother. You know that, my mother. That was my mother when she died. That was the old one, she was about seventy-six. You remember when","and the idea came into my head that we should have a good breakfast this morning. And it struck me that we'd never had a good breakfast for a long tim","it was all done up. And the next day he was to meet us and see what we wanted. It was in the middle of a sort of meeting; I wasn't there, but I though","and the little girl that you see, you've never seen her before. You never have. Oh! the little girl, and I was asking her to play with us, and the boy","I'm sorry I've been so long, but I've been thinking all the time. I've been wanting to do something with you all day. I've had to go away because of t","I feel as if I was a mouse with no end of a tunnel to go in and out of. It's very quiet. The sun is shining. I wish I'd seen the sky. I","and he had this little dog. I've forgotten its name now, but I'll remember it again. It was a little dog, I think. Well, I suppose I should have said ","a bit of a joke ... a bit of an idea. Oh, yes, a man ... a man ... what's his name? Oh, yes. The one with the red hair and the yellow","it was like that with my mother; but she's always been a bit different. It's like she was my mother, and my sister too. She's never been much good at ","you were in the front row at the concert, and your father and mother were beside you. The girls were very pretty and young and dressed up in fancy dre","and he says that it's 'to be gone to bed' and I say, 'is that in your bedroom?' and he says, 'yes' and then we both laugh and he says '","oh, what I'd like to do! I'd like very much to go to the opera with him; it's the first time I've ever been in an opera, you know, and I","that is one of the things that is funny, the way it's a different world. Well, it is, but you see, I don't mind it. Well, I was thinking, I","it's a bit of a surprise I've got to go, it's been nice talking to you, I'm rather sorry to leave now, I must say good-bye, I'll remember to","the two men were standing in the street, the one was going off to work, the other was saying goodbye to him, and then the one was saying good morning ","what you're doing is, you're saying that, but not the way that I wanted you to, you know. I wanted you to say, 'Oh, my dear, my darling, don","it's like...the smell of...the smell...the smell of the roses, it's a lovely smell...you've got to...it's a lovely fragrance...what was i...i was","and it's so much fun, don't you think? It's like you're just living your life all over again. I remember the day we went to the beach for the first ti","and it's a question of when it will come, I don't know. And when I have a child it will be a boy. And I don't want to give up my job. And","and there are only four of them. And there are only 14 of us. And then we all had a picnic at the park, and we played a game. And then I had a","so I want to do...oh, well I just thought of something that I want to buy, I mean, I haven't bought it in a while, so I want to go to...oh","this is something that's been bothering me. I'm going to have to do my homework. I haven't done mine today yet, and I'm not even sure when I'm going t","I've got to do the laundry...and I need to do my homework...and I've got a few things to buy in the store. I need to remember to do that. I'm going","and it was raining, and we were going to go outside and play. But then the phone rang and we didn't have time. And I think it's because I had to write","I'm gonna go to the mall and I'm gonna eat at the restaurant... and I'm going to eat at the pizza place... and I want to get something for the car. I ","I'm gonna go and get the mail, so I guess I'll just stay right here, 'cause I can't do anything, I can't even get up, so I'll just keep watching","the picture on the TV is a movie about the Super Bowl, and it's showing a girl who just won the game. I wonder what that looks like?... I don't know, ","I'm driving, and I'm thinking about what we're having for lunch. I'm thinking I should go get something. I'm like, I don't know what I want, but I thi","I was at the mall, and I saw a really cute guy, and he was wearing a red shirt... I was at the park, and I was playing soccer with my friends... I was","the most amazing thing I could say about this game is that I think it's so awesome! It's like the most amazing game that I ever saw! It's really aweso","[i'm] making a list of [my] favorite things to eat, [i] wanna make it like a... like a list... [i] don't know... i'm trying to","I remember when we were little, my brother and I went to this one place in the city where there was all these people doing karate. And, we thought we ","I think that when people get angry or sad, or excited or something, like when I got mad about the big fire. I was thinking I was like, 'oh man, it's s","I feel like I'm at a party and I have a beer. Then my mom comes in and gives me a hug. And I think, 'That's so sweet.' But I'm going to","I've got a feeling we're going to be late. We're always late. My sister is going to be really mad. What if we're late? What if we get a ticket? What","I don't know. I don't have to go there. I think they're really nice. I think my mom is really mean. I don't like her. I like my dad. I","I don't like him very much, I'm glad I don't like this guy, I'm pretty sure that I'll be the one that's going to get picked last because I don't reall","I'm so bored and I don't have nothing to do, so I'm thinking about how I'm going to go to sleep tonight, and I'm thinking that I'm going to like stay ","[t]he thought I had for today was that I had to make sure that my sister and I made enough money to take our dog to the pound and get him a new dog. T","I think we're just in a weird time right now. You know? Like, it's really hard to find the time to just have a break and just kind of like relax. I ju","like, I'm just saying, like, we've got a bunch of people who, you know, just want to make a living, so they're just, like, trying to do whatever they","[w]ell I guess I got a little tired and I went to bed. And then I didn't get very much sleep, but I had to get up at 5:45 for","you know, I'm trying to think of how many times I've been here. Like, what's the last time I was here? I know it was like, maybe it was like two days","I think the... the... I'm thinking about... like... I'm trying to get on... I think I'm in the bathroom. Like I'm going to go to work, I guess.","so I'm like, 'well, if you do that, it's gonna be like a hundred bucks...and I don't really wanna spend that much' and like I don't like that game","my mother is very sad about this whole thing. We've been texting. We haven't talked in like a week. And then we started texting today and just trying ","I'm not going to lie. I'm probably gonna be upset when you guys leave, but I don't know when we're gonna get another chance like that, like, maybe in ","I don't even really have a dog, but I'm thinking about getting one, just because I'm thinking that maybe I'll need one, just to, um, be someone who ca","I think it's okay though. I mean, you know, it's like, you're not supposed to be watching. I'm not really a big fan of, you know. So, if","I got a picture from someone... it's a picture of me and my cat... so I think the reason I'm sad is because I miss my cat... and it's like a few weeks","and I guess I could just go for a quick walk or something, you know? Just to clear my head, you know, or maybe go for a jog, you know. But I donโ€™t","And I feel like I'm not really taking advantage of my time here because it's so cold outside. And I'm not in the right state of mind to be out there i","and I'm wondering how my schedule looks like today. I have to go to work, then I'll see my friend and go to the gym. Then I'll go to the grocery store","you know, I'm just going to talk to you right now, like this is real... like I'm just talking to someone in the room. You know, it's just like we're h","my dreams are so vivid sometimes, like I'm actually there in them...it's like my brain is on autopilot, but I'm still conscious and aware...but someti","I think I should take a break. I've been doing this for a while now and I feel like I need to take a step back. I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I","I wonder if they'll be okay. I think about my friend and worry about her. I'm trying to remember the last time we spoke and I can't recall. Maybe I wa","a woman in a store, she's buying something and there's a man behind her, she's got her bag over her shoulder, he's staring at her, she looks at him an","i'm so tired, like i've been up for 36 hours. my eyes are like super dry and red, and my head feels like it's going to explode. i don't know","I'm really hungry now...and i just remembered i ate like four hours ago and i'm like i'm gonna die, i'm gonna pass out, and i'm not gonna be able to f","just feeling a little like a broken record right now because of the new album release and then there's still so much more music out and coming out. li","the stuff that I write is a combination of what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, what I want to do. So I think I've had a rough few days, it's been a","and I was talking to you earlier, I'm thinking about the work that I've been doing and I was also talking about the fact that I feel like I'm doing a ","I'm trying to do the thing with the talking in the car. So, I have to just do my thing, because I don't want to be the one who is the one that is like","just the other night, I was like, 'Oh, I should check my email.' And I was like, 'I have like five emails that are waiting.' And I'm like, 'Okay","and then I thought, I need to send them this. Like, I mean, I haven't even asked them about what they're like or anything, but I just need to send it ","And I remember this one time I was driving to a friend's house to like take her out, and my car broke down like in the middle of nowhere. And I was ju","I'm sorry about the first one. It's my fault, I don't know if she knows me well enough yet. But we are friends. I've known her for about two years, an","I think I need to buy more pizza dough. I got this thing, you know, that you can make pizza on. It's like, you put the dough, and it's like, this","it's weird I just realized that I'm on this channel, and I'm like, I'm gonna get into a lot of trouble. It's like, I could get my hands on like a","I was playing the game. And then, there's this character. And, the other day, he's like, hey, wanna get high? And, like, he's got this weed like","the other day I was playing with my friend. I had a long, long conversation with my friend about how we're like. I was talking to him about how we've ","I've never been a good runner, I used to play soccer but it's a lot harder for me. I also do not like to jog. I prefer to run outside or go to the gym","I can see all of my friends in my head like, but I donโ€™t like that one, but I like this one and that one too. And I donโ€™t know, like, I don","I like to go to the park. It's very nice there. There's a lot of things to do there. It's like a playground. And there's a lot of people there, like","so I was thinking, what can you do to feel better in your day and the weather is a little chilly, so you can just go outside and take your dog for a w","I remember this time I was in this high school, I got a bunch of people together to hang out in my room and I got a dog to come over and he was really","I just saw a picture of a clown with the mouth of an ice cream cone and he's wearing a jacket with a red hood. I also saw a picture of two people who ","I have this really big head, and I have this huge headband that I use to protect my head, and it's got this thing that goes on my ear and it's just li","I don't know how to describe this. It's like a combination of a jellyfish and a sea urchin. It's kind of like a jellyfish with a sea urchin shell","so like, we're just sitting here in silence... I can hear a lot of weird noises right now that I didn't really notice before... like my breathing and ","[the participant] was watching a YouTube video of a man playing an electric violin, and they were like 'hey, can we play electric violin?' and they pl","yeah, so, yeah, I, I'll be like, I'll look around and see, like, is the other person wearing the right color, because I like, like the, like the","okay, okay, yeah, I've been thinking about the way that if you have an image, if you have a visual, that it could be really like, interesting, like, I","like the thing where you're in the shower and you're trying to wash your hair and your hands, and you're just like, 'why am I trying to wash my hands ","like the worst thing in the world is people you're not close to. It's like you don't know them as well. And I think that's why like my parents, they'r","so I've been thinking a lot about my dog. I haven't seen them in a long time. They're just like a little kid, and they just wanna be like that. And th","I'm not sure why I'm doing this. I'm going to talk about this later but I feel bad that I said that to my mom, you know I know she's going to be mad","like if you're trying to remember a thing, like, if you're like, trying to remember your friend, and like, if they had like, a nickname, and you're li","I think it's like... it's like a... well I'm trying to think of a word for this but I think it's kind of like... well I don't know if this word is","the fact that I'm a little bit depressed right now and it's because I'm not in a relationship and I just... I'm not... I'm still... I'm just trying to","I can't think of any other things to do. I guess it's just because I don't have anything to do. And I mean, like I'm not going to be bored like, so","like, if it's a good song, if you were in a relationship and it was good for you and you were like, 'I've been with this guy for four years and we jus","[talking about] my new apartment. And I feel really bad because I have to do everything on my own, and Iโ€™m just not used to it. But itโ€™s fine because ","[the] [my] dog [is] so [cute] i'm [worried] that [i'm] going to [end up] [with] a [dog] that","I can't wait for my vacation. I've been looking forward to it all summer. I've already booked my flights and made a list of places to visit. I can't w","so I was like, that's what I have been waiting for, and then I was like hey, what about this and then I realized, that I don't actually know where the","yeah so like i've been thinking about my dog like you know we're going to be there for a long time and i want to take a picture of him and he's like a","and then they had the day off and I'm just gonna sit there and watch the whole day and I'm like I don't know what to do, I'm like I'm just going to go","And you don't know what to do. It's so scary. You think you might be on the wrong track. You want to be part of something special, but it's so hard to","I have to go to work. I don't want to go to school today because I don't feel well. I hope my teacher understands that I need to take a sick day. I al","I'm thinking about the way the wind is blowing outside right now. It's pretty cool and it's making me think about how much I love being outside in nat","I am really excited that Iโ€™m getting married soon! I just got my new puppy yesterday, a cute little lab mix! Iโ€™m so happy with my life right now. Iโ€™m ","I guess I should start off with that one. I'm gonna need to start this with a little bit of a twist. I'm not really sure what kind of twist I should d","I'm in the middle of thinking about going to the supermarket but then I feel like I've been there a lot lately, so I'm thinking maybe I don't need to ","this was a super cool episode last night. I just put in a podcast episode on my phone, and it was like, 'you know what, we could have had this as the ","uh the one that i was really thinking about is, uh, you know, i mean, you know what i was just thinking about is like, uh, like, you know, like, like","okay, so like I'm thinking about, I'm going to write a story about this guy and you know, he's like 10 years old, right, and he's like, you","Iโ€™m sitting here and itโ€™s like, I donโ€™t really know why Iโ€™m doing this, but Iโ€™m just sort of like, sitting here, and I donโ€™t even know why I did","and I am 40 and I donโ€™t have any kids and I don't have any pets. I'm living in a tiny apartment that I share with two other people. One of the other","so this is like the 6th time that I've done this, and it's like I'm getting better at this. Like I was like super nervous, super excited like today, a","I think, you know, there's a lot of people in this world, I mean, I have, like, two sisters and, you know, they're both, like, really smart and","[i]t's funny cause it's like my ex's birthday is in August and i don't really have like any good ideas for it cause i just don't know what to get her,","I remember that once. I don't know if you remember. So we were on a hike and we went to this place and it's like a park and then you climb to the top ","i have some feelings for you but i don't know if i love you, and you have some feelings but i don't, but i think you're the only girl i like right now","I love this song I love it so much I love it I love it oh and I love this song like this song is like super cool like like I like it oh and it like it","I remember when we used to play games, with you and your friends. I remember you were really funny. You had a funny name and you wore a funny hat. You","it's just like the first one I think it's kind of like the first song I liked and then like the first... the first song that I liked is like I think i","the ones who are in my room right now...i don't know who they are, and they are not the ones in the room, and they're not real. And i feel so good bec","I am playing a game where you have to be careful not to get caught by the game master. So you try to be very quiet and not move around, but then you g","my own little heart... I love you <3 (my cat) <3... (laughing) (laughing)... I'm so tired... (laughing, sobbing)","I just finished my game, it was really fun, and it's a lot like this one, except instead of shooting the arrow, you shoot the gun, it's more fun, I wi","and it's like I'm this super ninja cat and i'm just like super stealthy and i'm like just sitting on this tree and i'm doing this like like this and i","itโ€™s not so bad, iโ€™m trying to think of something funny and iโ€™m thinking about like like a like a like an like a like and and and and uh like uh like ","(a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) (h) (i) (j) (k) (l) (m) (","you know like there's like a small penguin and it's like it has a little ball and it rolls down and it's cute and it's adorable and I like it a lot bu","then he was just like the bird and we went into the forest and we went like a bird and we flew and it was just so much fun! And then we went like this","[it's] like a new adventure, but I'll be the new guy. like me! no, it's not me, it's... not me... it's, like... the new","And I was gonna write this song. I was gonna give it to my friend like, 'Hey, can you sing this for me?'. It's like this song 'I got my girlfriend'","and I remember I was like, 'I don't know what I'm going to do in this chapter, what's the chapter?' Like, I'm like, 'What's the chapter, and","my sister is so much like me. She's just so much like me, and it's crazy, and it makes me so happy and also like really sad at the same time. Because ","and like, I'm like, 'I really like him because I think he's my twin.' And then I'm like, 'Oh, my God, no, we're not twins, but","and I was just thinking about uh... I don't know if you noticed... I feel like we have a lot of time for each other because I don't feel like... I'm l","And what do you think? So that's it! That's what it feels like when you have no money left. That's what I feel. And I have that feeling right now, I h","it's like I'm back to the beginning and I'm starting this whole new life again because I don't know what the future is like and I don't really have a ","I don't like it. I don't even like it, like, even though I don't know why. It just feels off. It feels like a lie. I feel like there's a","I'm thinking about the two people I've seen and been interested in, but then I just kinda got a little lost in thoughts about just everything. Like, w","I'm really enjoying this. I mean, I know that I don't wanna be a mom... and I think that I'm doing okay with that... but I still want a kid, I still","I really hate getting caught with my pants down, like, it's just uncomfortable and I'm a little bit like, I don't even think about that, but sometimes","I'm thinking about all the different ways my family would respond if I asked them to come over, like I did, and they said, 'no'. They wouldn't be mad,","I had a dream that I was a little girl and that I was getting dressed, and my mom said, 'you're going to make me look bad,' because I had like a purpl","I'm doing this session... I'm like... I'm doing a think-aloud session... I think it's really weird. I like doing it. I'm like, what am I saying?","so that's good for me, because i'm going to have to do like a lot of stuff right now, and i can't like, i can't talk about it with my friends because ","I just did this yesterday, and then I realized that I had a lot of work to do, so I didn't do it, I just started writing a bunch of stuff on this litt","I know it sounds weird to say out loud. I'm just talking to myself out loud and trying to see how the thought process works. Like if it's in my head o","I can't believe you're working on your paper like this. It's crazy how you're doing it, but I'm so glad you're doing it. You're doing a really good jo","and then when you go and do something, I'll see you on the app and it'll show me a little message like 'hey you did the thing!' and I'll like it and t","like what? Okay, like... Oh, the thing you see on the side, you can't see, it's the... it's the thing I like. Okay. Like... what do you","what do I need to do to get a promotion? like, what are some ways I can get it? like, do I need like to do something like, um, do I just need to","[00:02:01.361] the last week of our session, we'll try and finish the first half of it. I guess I want to talk about this","I have to figure out how to make a character a little bit more relatable to the audience. It's a hard question, and I'm not sure exactly how to approa","what is going on in my mind is the thoughts that I want to keep, and the thoughts that I don't want to keep. So I think that's what it is. And I'm not","I wonder if they could've used this to go to a website where they can show the results of all the people who use this program. So there's a visual rep","I can see how important this is in the real world. If a lot of people have thought about this, it's probably important, and it's probably worth resear","I'm not really sure how to talk about this, but I don't feel like it's my fault. It's the situation, but it's also my role in the situation, my contri","I was in the middle of a problem...I have a bunch of problems that I'm working on...I just feel like, I haven't been really good at... I've had a bunc","[...] so the thing about the data, is that there's like a lot of noise, in terms of the data you get, and then you have to go and filter it to make su","I was just thinking of how much my mother is not there anymore. Like, when she died, I was, like, really struggling to just process that, like, just l","what's the point? We could have just sat around for three hours. But this is the whole point of doing this. I don't know how to put this but it's like","I was thinking about the fact that it's super cool when you're in a relationship with someone that has a different perspective, right? So like I don't","I wonder if it's the same in other languages. I think this might be different if you're not talking to yourself in English, but like in your first lan","I'm just having a moment where I think of it, I'm just having that moment where I'm like 'okay, I'm going to spend 100% of my time on this","I want to put a bunch of words and ideas together and form a narrative about that. And it's interesting that I'm seeing those words and images pop up ","I want to be able to communicate with people from a different culture. I think this would be really interesting to learn about people, see what it's l","and the first time that I had a baby, I was working on a project, I was at my desk at the office, and my partner was there, and I said, 'Oh, we","I'm thinking that I'm tired, and that I need to do something about it. Maybe take a walk or just do some sort of movement or activity that's gonna hel","I'm not sure I can handle the stress of being a mother and being in my career and being on my own. I mean, that's a lot of stress. I don't want to say","Iโ€™m working on a project with a friend, itโ€™s been a good experience but itโ€™s ended. We talked about it and we both agreed to end it because the time w","So yeah, it's, it's really interesting because, I don't know, I don't even really know how to explain it but I think that, yeah, there's a lot of pres","what a weird feeling. Like, I've been sitting here, kind of like waiting for a moment that I might just get a really big answer or something and like ","I donโ€™t think thereโ€™s anything wrong with me, I think I just like being with my husband. I have a lot of anxiety and a lot of sadness. And that comes ","I think about a lot of things but it doesn't feel like I really know me so well and I feel like I'm just a puppet to other people's expectations and t","I feel like Iโ€™m going through a really tough time. Itโ€™s been a while since Iโ€™ve felt so low. I canโ€™t remember the last time I was happy, and I canโ€™t s","[thinking about] the difference between how we're talking about things like that versus how people used to talk about things. And like, when I was lik","I just donโ€™t understand how youโ€™re so quick to assume things without asking questions. And itโ€™s like, I get why people might be triggered by certain t","I think I know what happened. So that is why I feel so angry now, right? You know, because I had to go through that. You know, I know that it happened","so, um, I guess the other thing is, uh, that there was a point that, um, you know, the, um, the pandemic was, like, still ongoing and, um","I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't have a good answer for you. I think it's probably like, it's probably more a, it's more, more a societal thing","you know it's like you don't want to even... I don't even know like sometimes I want to go into it but I don't. I don't wanna get there. I'm not","[the person who is on the phone] I think he just needs to have like a more realistic chat with like someone who is in a similar position, like me, you","I wonder how do you feel like? How is life like? How do you feel? How is the family like? What's going on? What's up? How do they feel like? So","and then I, I like to say like I think about a lot of things but also like you know you know you, you, you just think about like I think you know how ","I've been thinking about the time we were on a flight and there was a plane that was taking off from the other side, I'm thinking about how I was like","[t]he only thing that I've been thinking about for the past several months is... what is the world coming to? What is the world? What's the world? I f","I'm thinking, you know, I think that it's interesting, I'm really like a naturalist. You know, like, like I like to go out into nature a lot, like I","So, like, there's this thing I feel like I'm really passionate about, like I'm not like a really passionate about it, but like I have a thing. I was t","And it's just it's been really cool this year just kind of getting to be in the zone where I'm really enjoying it. And I feel like I'm making more con","I feel like I'm in an open-air, like I'm kind of looking through the clouds. I'm just feeling that there's this cloud of emotions that I'm carrying wi","I feel very tired today, you know? Like I want to go home and take a nap. And I also want to be more productive. I want to do some things that I can b","a lot of pressure right now, but I'm trying to be present with my body, so I'm just trying to sit with it and be mindful, even though I feel like I'm ","I know what you mean, you're having a lot of stuff on your mind. I feel like I have a lot of anxiety right now, I'm really overwhelmed with all the st","I feel like I need to finish this today because I don't want to forget it. I think this is about like writing something down or something that's on my","[I]t's the end of the world... I have to get out of here... I'm going to be late for work, I don't know where the car is... I'm so","I was talking to my friend today, and I was thinking about her mom being in the hospital, and I felt so bad that she was in that situation. But I thou","I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me, I mean why I feel this way. I have been feeling pretty good for a while now, but lately I've been feeli","[My thoughts] are in a little bit of a state of... just trying to do something [for my mental health], I guess. And then I don't know, I just thought ","I'm not sure what I'm doing in this room, but I've been here for a long time, probably more than an hour. It's very quiet, and I'm feeling a bit disco","I'm trying to remember when I was last here, so I'm not saying anything now. I'm trying to think back. I'm thinking about the last time I was here. I ","I'm worried about my boyfriend. He's got this really bad mood. He's been having trouble sleeping, and I'm just worried about him. It's like I don't kn","I've never gotten the right to know him like this, which I think is sad, I feel bad for him, because he's probably lost his family and friends in that","you're saying that I've never gotten that I was able to do that, I think it's because you don't think that you're in a position to do that. You're lik","we're like the most popular kids. And there's nothing that anyone can do to change that. But there's also, we're the most popular kids and I think tha","I've been thinking, you know, about the past few months, and like, I've been really anxious a lot, you know? Like, I just kind of, like, I just,","I've been thinking about my son, he's not doing well, he's struggling with mental health issues. He's going to college, and he's not really making goo","I'm like, 'wow, I'm glad you asked this.' Like, I'm like, I don't know what to say because I don't think this is really an appropriate thing to have","I'm trying to write a letter to a friend. I think it's been a few months since I've written to her. I'll try to get that going. I want to ask if she","And then it kind of took a while to realize that yeah, this was going to be a thing where we were just gonna kind of make a little bit of money off of","Iโ€™m on the edge of a cliff. There are, like, 45 minutes, and itโ€™s like, Iโ€™m just going to go to a beach. Itโ€™s like, you know","I'm kind of thinking of taking a vacation...for a week or two, just to get away and to get some work done. I'm just trying to balance everything out. ","yeah, you know, it's funny, you know. I got to, you know I'm talking with my mom about like what's going on in the world right now, you know it's","we're just going to see what we can do. I think this is, I think we're just going to do what we do best and what we want to do best is play the game,","I'm like, what do I do? What do I do for like, a couple months, but I'm like, no, I think I'm going to, I'm going to take the","I was thinking about my mom's health. I think she's gonna have to stop going to work because of her health. I was thinking, she's not going to go to w","I want to do it, I want to, you know, I want you to be like, you know I'm just so thankful, I'm just really, really, you know thankful that you","And you know, I'm thinking about like how my husband he has his like, the old ways that he did, like you know, he's really like a person that likes to","I feel like I'm not doing a great job of being like, I don't really like that job anymore like, I'm a bit burned out, but I feel like I can't like,","I know that this is very, very difficult but I have to find ways to work with people who are more resistant, like this. I feel like I'm like, I feel l","and I think that that's a bit of a problem in the sense that that's an approach that's going to really benefit from the human brain because a lot of t","I was reading this article about the number of people who are more likely to experience the same kind of problems in the future if they were to become","we can't have a 50% rate of success, so what would you expect to be the rate of success? That's right, we're going to go beyond 50%. ...","[S]o, you know, the other day, I was at a funeral for a friend of mine and there was a number of people who were speaking at the funeral and one of th","the new work that was done that was just announced by the World Bank about the Philippines, I thought it was really interesting to see how the World B","I mean, you know, I have no idea what, like, what it is to be, you know like, like, I mean I think I have been a pretty good citizen and I think","so I was thinking about this other thing that you mentioned about how the media is controlled by the media that's controlled by the companies, like th","this is something I think about. So the way I see it, is like, a lot of the things in the United States, in particular in the United States are like, ","the idea of an election is that the people vote, the people choose, the people decide who we are as a society and how we will function. Itโ€™s not some ","but I guess it's a good thing. The only way the world is going to have good, free people to fight is if you have a little bit of a military, right? Yo","and I'm just gonna leave the rest of you with the, with the, I don't know, it's gonna be a, you know, I don't think it's gonna matter much,","a lot of people think that you have a lot of choice in terms of the future. And a lot of people get caught up in that and they don't realize that you ","I feel very much in tune with the environment. The environment here, as it is here today, I feel that is the result of a lot of individual decisions a","[O]nly a handful of countries are going to be able to really keep up with that, so we're going to have to figure out how to move towards a more global","we've got a problem that's been with us, for the last six months. We've got the problem that the economy has been doing poorly and the interest rates ","we can't have an Internet of anything, I mean, it's a wonderful thing to be able to talk to people in all sorts of ways and to get a feel for a countr","and if I wanted to try and get my students to think about what's going on with the global economy, and what's happening with the financial situation i","[T]here's a lot of interest in this idea of a post-modern society that is more interested in being a consumer society, but then there is the danger th","and then he goes, he takes out his gun. And there are five or six of us, and he says, 'What's going on here?' And we say, 'Well, we think","I'm very angry with the French. It's not clear what the French are doing, but they are obviously a lot more open to the American invasion than the Ame","yeah, but there's also a sort of a moral responsibility that a country or an individual has to itself, and also towards others, that would say, 'Hey, ","and you have this one word in your mind that you can use for everything in the world. If you have this word, you can say, 'I'm going to use this word ","that the majority of the American people are going to want to maintain that we will have some type of economic system where we have some type of globa","and in fact, I don't even know, you know, if I can go on, but I don't think so, and you know, it's got nothing to do with the fact that","what are some of the reasons that the Soviets are going to be involved in Afghanistan? Because they don't think that the United States can go back to ","the thing is, is that people that are in their fifties and their sixties have to make decisions like, you know, whether or not they want to spend thei","I got a lot of ideas. I did not have a lot of work that I would have to do to pay for my education. I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about the","And I don't know. I don't like it, I don't trust it, I think that the fact that we've been working with this guy for a number of years, I think he","we had a conversation at a party and I think a man there said that the state of the union was basically that they needed a second term and a second te","the CIA is responsible for the death of three million of our children. So what is the alternative? What is the alternative is for the CIA to be abolis","it's a really long, long, long term project that's being set up by the Pentagon and the CIA, and they are funding and giving all sorts of grants to al","you know I have a number of people who have come to me and they said, 'Oh, you're the person I should be dealing with in the war on terror, but you're","it's like, in a sense, we're going to have to create our own jobs to sustain ourselves. That's going to be a big challenge, to say the least. That's t","itโ€™s like theyโ€™re saying that itโ€™s a simple question of how many of these things are going to be here and they canโ€™t do that. Well, I can do that. Tha","it's very simple, I think it's actually an unworkable model because I think there's too much room for human discretion in how you actually administer ","I'm sure that all the things that I've said here are true, that's a given. It's just that I don't know if the degree to which they are true. They are ","what we don't get is how the various parts of the world interact. It's a lot of what is going on, it is in a very dynamic way. And in a very static wa","I have a fear that my family and I are going to go down the path that we're on and we're going to end up in a war in the Middle East. And that the war","The thing that has been going on in the U.S. since the 1990s, there's been a very interesting kind of schism, which I think is going to be a","the notion of a revolution, of a change in the structure of our society, our system. I think that there is a problem of democracy. If I think about th","if you look at the whole, it's kind of a sad picture. You look at the last decade, you can say that we have a lot of good things, we have a lot bad th","but, but it's not clear to me that I should be that happy about this. It's a political move. If you want to create an environment of fear and instabil","It's just the fact that you are looking at a situation and then you have to make an assessment of whether this situation is worth the effort, whether ","I guess that's my sense of duty, my obligation. You know, my sense of what is right and wrong. And, you know, when people get together to debate issue","you know what's interesting, is the fact that, for a long time, we've had the idea that the reason why women in the Arab world, women in the Muslim wo","what is the source of our political conflict? That's not the question. It's a question that was already there. The question was how do we, as the peop","And they said: 'Okay, then, you can't have any of the rights that you have now, like the right to vote, the right to free speech, the right to express","And now, for the second time in my life, I've been able to stand up for what I believe in. The first time was in 1964 when I was on the civil","I was at the U. S. Naval Academy. I was a junior in college, and I was sitting in the back of a classroom listening to a lecture about the military. A","It's not like I had to sign up to go to law school, I could've gone anywhere. I could've gone to any law school anywhere and I didn't. It's not like t","I think the world's going to go down the toilet. I mean, there's a whole bunch of people out there. If you look at the military-industrial complex and","the big problem in the world today is that the U.S. is going to be defeated and the Soviet Union is going to win. The reason the U.S. will be defeated","well, I would think we ought to get an embargo on this particular situation because it's a terrible situation. If you get in a war like that, you have","and what the hell, this is it, the only place left to start this war. And we've got the kind of support to start this kind of war. And this is the pla","I want to say that in the past I didn't feel that way. I didn't really feel that way about the United States of America. And, and then of course I wen","it's all about the relationship, the relationship between the United States, Israel, and the other countries in the Middle East. ... In the Middle Eas","you're not going to win the war, you're not going to have a coalition, you're going to be defeated. We're going to lose this war and it's going to be ","I'm sitting here, and I think about the world and I think, 'I'd love to change the world. I'd love to come out here and say, 'Let me change your world","and in fact the reason I had to go and spend the night at the airport was because I had to attend a meeting in Washington and it was too far from the ","I have just heard the news. I have just had this letter. I have got a letter from the President. A very interesting letter. Very good news for all of ","and then this idea of the Middle East, well, it's a very sensitive, delicate situation in the Middle East. And there is the problem of the Israel-Pale","in the end the world's going to be like a very big kindergarten, and you're going to have to find your own way, and you'll be very lucky if you ever g","we've been going through a very interesting situation with our party here in the U.S.A. with our party, which is basically a Democratic Party, in powe","The whole country is in chaos because there are too many people in it. We need to do something about the immigration. I know that we have to do someth","and what do you think of that? That's exactly what I am saying. And you can't just take that, you have to take the whole picture. You can't just do it","I see the sun, I see the earth, I see our moon and I see the sun going up every morning. I see our government is moving. They are doing a lot of thing","and if they're going to be honest with us, we should be honest with them. It's a two-way street. We should be honest about our intentions and about ou","I donโ€™t know. I donโ€™t really think thatโ€™s what theyโ€™re trying to do. Itโ€™s the kind of thing that people just try to do to people, and itโ€™s not that it","So, there are a lot of factors. There are, as we said, a lot of political factors. I'm not sure, I mean, what do you think is the number one political","I am not sure if they are willing to participate, the Chinese are very hesitant to participate in any sort of international organizations, but they ha","the economy, the economy is one of the big problems, of course. When I'm here in the U.S. I know there is a lot of people here in the States who are t","the other side of the street has just a lot of young people who are unemployed and they are protesting and they are trying to change the political sit","[W]e are here to make sure that the U.S. is still a nation of immigrants, and that the rest of the world recognizes that. And we want to do that by pr","And we have the same problem. If the state government is not able to come up with a program that's able to take into account the social and economic w","I am a victim of a disease and I'm not aware of it. I'm not even aware of this disease. It's a very difficult situation. ... I have to wait for this v","I don't know what's going to happen, but I think it will probably get better. I think that it will get worse. I think the stock market is going to go ","I remember when the 1980s started, when the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan. I remember the world was so stable. People in the West were just absolut","there was a long period of time between the first and second World War, the first, the Second World War. The British government has, the British gover","I wonder what a Jewish man has to do, in order to be a Jew. What does it mean to be a Jew? To be a Jew means to be an Orthodox Jew, right? To","but of course, this is the very core of what I'm saying. And, of course, it's the same, it's exactly the same with the so-called European Union and th","there were a lot of people who said that we, that the Jewish people were not to be seen in public at all, and that we had to wear some kind of a label","I mean I was like, that's the problem, right? People just want to know, well, you know, they just want to look at you and see your face, and then you'","you know I don't have any kids because I was too young when I started teaching, I had to finish my studies. And now I think I have to start thinking a","I'm actually not really against the EU. I'm not really against it. I'm against it when it comes to the military aspect of it. I think that's a very ba","the problems with the whole thing is that you know we have a bunch of people that have been here, we have been here for like 15, 16 years. They have b","So that's why the whole thing is the problem. You know, the problem is that you're in an organization that's really more of a union. There's no real..","I'm not sure there is going to be any action, because the company that you work for, in terms of its business plan, is going to take care of you, so y","the word 'he' was not very helpful. This is the word of 'he' in the first place, who will do anything, who will kill anybody. So that word 'he', you","there's a new kind of freedom here. I think you're gonna like this. I think the government's gonna like this, too. You're gonna find it's a great tool","And then that's, you know, that's just a nice thing. You know, we're not going to be going there. The two of them, like, I'm not going to go","so it's like they're still in Iraq, right, and the Iraqi army's going after these guys, right? And they've got them locked up in Guantanamo now, they'","I'm just wondering, you know, if, if, the, the, yeah, yeah. I, I, I'm, I'm not sure about the, the one with the, the","and you're the one that told me this thing. This is the guy that said you can't tell me what you're going to do, but you can tell me what the governme","yeah, but I'm trying to tell you that I'm a good man, and if I'm a bad man, then what, then you've been wrong this whole time about me, you've","and this was a very interesting thing about the last war, wasn't it?... Because the people that fought for us and for democracy, and that had the guts","we have a very interesting story about the one we know now about the American occupation, which is that, in effect, they say we were invaded by the So","they've got a few other people over there in the Navy, I've heard, but they're not real active, they're just there, and they're going to be, as I unde","and I had to make a little speech to the police after the conference and they said, 'Well, you see, they can't shoot you.' And I said, 'But there is n","and that's why, when you have a problem, they've got to send someone, somebody like us, someone like the police, to solve it, see? We've got to solve ","Now I've got to come up with something. Well, the whole thing, you know, you've got to go out and make a statement, and you've got a lot of people lis","I don't even know if we're going to have the money to do it. If we're going to go, and if we do get the money, then what happens to us when we're","And so what happens is that there are certain types of people that are going to be more likely to get into trouble with this bill than with anything e","so you know the military's coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq in droves, right? And they're going to be here to fill out the job market. I don't kn","a guy that is, as we know, a great leader, and he's a leader that is going to make a difference. And that's, for, for you guys to be on board with","and there's a lot of people on this planet right now who are looking for a way to get a better understanding of their country. And if you look at the ","what was the most important thing that you saw happening? A few days ago in the Congress, a few days ago the Congress and the Government in the last C","the reason why we should do that is the reason that I came to the U.S. is that I wanted to join with the democratic cause. I came to America because I","and I think it's important to see the global war on terrorism in a larger context because, you know, we have an administration that is putting in plac","well, the problem with the Bush administration is that they're not going to do it, and I think you have to be very careful about how you're going to d","I think there is a very big problem in America today. I'm going to sound like an elitist, but I think that there is a real elitism here that is not we","I'll take that, I'll take that. I'll take it as it is. And I'll be very careful. I'll be more careful than the Germans have been, and I'll take","I have the impression that the 'sociological' school of thought and the 'psychological' school...is not so much a philosophical difference between the","it's a matter of how well people respond to the needs of the moment, and what kind of people they are, and whether they are oriented to what the needs","I know what you are thinking, we are not going to get a solution in that way. What we have to do is to take some of our time, sit down together and tr","and that's the kind of thing that has been going on. I mean, you have to look at it in the same way you look at all these other things that have been ","that's what I was talking about before, how the way in which the [USS] Kitty Hawk came up with its plan and was able to get through its plan in a cert","[T]he world has become so much more complicated... Now, the idea is that the President's office, that is to say, the national security council and the","the thing is the real question, is what is the objective here. I think it's very, very clear, that the objective is to bring about a greater unity, a ","The fact of the matter is, that there are a few of those people, that are really in the middle of this, because the whole concept of the American way ","so the [1968] situation, and then the next 2 years, when the Vietnam war was on the table and the Kerner report was being written, and then [President","and, you know, and that's the thing with the money thing is that it's, you know that's just, it's a, it's something you do to pay the bills. It","and I want to go out there and start making a new law in this country and change it back, you know, to the old way of thinking of, of a good and a dec","I see the United States has a right to have its own military, of course. But it shouldn't be going around and fighting everywhere. If they were to say","the other people, I suppose I'd say the other people on the staff here, you know, the FBI, the CIA, you know? They're not doing a good job. You know,","the whole thing was a bunch of stuff to keep him quiet. Because he couldn't get in there and they didn't want him to get in there. He wouldn't, they d","I got a new car a few weeks ago, a Ford. And I got a brand new Ford, a Ford Pinto. It's got a pretty good warranty on it. It's a new","and it's an odd thing. It's been going on, it's been going for years now, and I've always had a little problem with the idea that you can just take so","if you know something you know something... [pause] about... about what you know and what you know. Well, it's an old thing... it's not a new thing to","the whole thing is that I'm really going to lose my mind, you know what I mean? And it's just I mean, I just feel that if I get into a situation where","it's like I don't know if I'd want to have this sort of thing with me, like in this situation. It's a situation that would, you know, be, you know,","I'm not going to be able to help them out very much, but I will do all I can. ...I mean I'm sure they'll be able to handle it. I think I'll","And so, I mean, it's a good idea, right? And I think it's a terrible idea, too. But there you are. And what I mean is that we don't want","and the other one is the same problem, you know? Like they want to have the government help, but at the same time, you know, it's kind of like the old","I have a couple of concerns about the bill, but the first one I think is the whole idea of the whole bill, I mean, it's like the biggest thing is it's","I mean, I think the best way to do that is to, you know, go out there and show it, you know. And then we'll have the, the, uh, the,","I mean, that's really a lot of responsibility. And, I guess, it's very easy. And it's, it's something that I think would really take a lot of energy o","it seems like the last couple of years have been a little bit more difficult... it seems like you're not making enough money and there's a lot of mone","I know it's not as easy for the government to do as it is for me to do it because they have to deal with all the different constituencies of people wh","you know, we do have an interesting conversation going on in Congress about, you know, the, uh, the military, and the military budgets and, and all th","and then, there was that, you know, in a very limited way, the French, which was the first major language that we had had the experience of having a s","so that's a good idea. Now I'm a little nervous about the whole thing, that's all. Well, it's something that I've been trying to work out, and I don't","I can't help but notice that the idea of the central bank and the Federal Reserve System are still on the table and that they are being pushed forward","and that's the way it is now, so there's no point in being involved in the business of the day-to-day affairs. And so what happens is, we have the who","now, now I want to say that you know the price of gasoline is going up. You can't sell your car for a good price, so you get a higher tax. If we could","and then I know they're going to send them to some training center... and they're going to teach them a trade and then they're going to be... they're ","And this is one of the things that I have to think about in terms of, in terms of getting into this business in the first place and then getting into ","the one that's come to mind is the question of how many people would have to be employed. And it's not a matter of just one or two hundred thousand. I","well, this is not the first time we've talked about this, and we've discussed what to do, but I think what we've done is really a fairly inadequate so","the federal government can do a better job. I think there's some people in the private sector that ought to do a better job, I think, because the priv","We had an issue, a problem, with the early days of the new Republic. And it was the way that we had set up the country. I mean, it was the basic struc","we have got a real problem here, this problem of the funding, which, in the end, is going to be solved in a manner that we think is appropriate, and i","a few weeks back, a friend of mine went through a couple of transactions. He was involved in some kind of venture, I can't recall the particulars, but","we can't do it because there's no money, because the tax base is so small. And, the big issue there is we're in this whole free trade thing. And we're","it's funny how people's brains work and how people get involved in some of these organizations and stuff, like the group that I'm a member of that's b","we could have a really good, in-depth interview with a lot of the people who have been around, you know, the world of the political scene in the last ","I got an e-mail from somebody in my field saying I was the best student ever in my class. I was in a class in the early 90s. So I went back to the","I just thought of that, and I'm going to write it up and send it out to the people who work on these things, and get them to study it. This is the way","the military, the military has got to have a lot of money to do that. But then if you think about it, if you think of the military as a public good, a","so, that's a good start, now we just have to put out the information, and the next step is going to be the U.S. Congress and the Senate and the House ","So I think it's very interesting, and I think that there is a tendency among some people that that may be a very good idea, but we also have to keep i","my idea of a good night's sleep was a good night. We would go out at seven and go back to school. ...You know that's not true. I don't have anything t","this is the kind of thing that's going to be coming up on the TV screen. It's not going to be anything we've been able to show you, and we don't know "],["And they say, 'What are the people like here in this country?' And then I think, 'Well, you know, it's not that easy to find out.' I don't know about","I'd like to get married, get a house, a job. I'll be married, have kids, and it'll be like a home and it's going to be a family and I'm","The other day, when I was in a state of mind where I didn't really like anybody, I thought about my wife, and I thought, 'Gosh, if I were her I'd","I don't know. I'm a little bit frightened, though, about my husband. He's just so much better at this, and he's got that much experience. He's so much","there's nothing to talk about in this room. What should we do? I could make some tea, or have a hot drink, maybe. I have some tea in the cupboard, a b","a woman with a lot of money. I think she's married. I wonder who she is? I've never seen her before. I don't think it's a nice woman. She's mean","what is that you were doing there? You were painting the stairs. You were going to paint the stairs in the hallway. And then I'd be there... I'd be pa","I'm in a hurry to get on the bus. The bus is waiting for me at the corner. It's already half past six. It's raining heavily. I should hurry up! ...Wha","And I'm going to tell them to sit down, I'm going to say 'Good evening, I'm the man who wants you to tell me if you've seen my lost dog. My dog","that was the problem, they don't have a proper place to live. They don't have anywhere to live and they don't know where they are going to live. And t","it's like you're on your own, or something. Like there's no one else there. ... It's like you have no one, because you're not even alone, but like no ","and the whole time I was looking down at my phone, like I was trying to check it or something, and I don't even know if I did... I don't know if I had","I had a bad dream last night. It was really, really bad. And the reason I had a bad dream was because I was freaking out about a stupid test I had to ","I have a lot of problems. I've been having these horrible, horrible dreams for the last couple months and they're all the same. There's this one guy I","you're gonna be in school for so many years and then you're gonna finally be able to do anything you want to do, but then you'll never be happy cause ","like a ballerina dancing, spinning and spinning, falling, falling, until I just keep falling, falling, and falling until Iโ€™m all broken. And thatโ€™s ju","my finger goes into my hand and my whole hand is in my mouth and the sun is in my hand and the sun in my mouth but itโ€™s not really my hand but itโ€™s ju","the smell of the sea. I'm in the ocean, the waves are hitting me. I'm sitting on the side of the shore, I'm touching it. I can feel it. I'm","the air's cool. I can feel it. And I can see the waves. Like, right on my face. And I'm sitting in a boat. I don't know where. I'm","I see you, you're standing on the ground, your feet are like a spider, the toes on your left foot are sticking out. The toes are pointed, there's bloo","and I'm so thirsty, so thirsty...and I'm dreaming about that river. I don't know why, but I'm dreaming it's raining over the river and the water is li","I think about what my life would be like if I were a plant. If I could live on the surface of the earth. If I could be a tree. I wonder if I could wal","And then, suddenly, she's back in my arms, and we're walking out of the woods together, and the sun is setting and her hair is on fire and it's beauti","I am on fire... a fire dragon... it's alive and it's moving... I'm on fire... I'm so hot... and then I'm on a mountain... and I'm holding it","the plane is in my head, the plane is flying, it's like I'm there, I'm in it, the air is on my skin and I'm sinking into the plane and I'm","then you do the same thing like a few days after I wake up I go to bed like and it's a dream and then I go to the next day and it's all the same and t","what if i don't remember this and i never do again, it's gone forever. Like it's never been there, like i've never even had this dream, never even dre","and then I remembered how I used to have a bookcase that was like this [making a circular motion with her hands] but it was all full of books, like th","the city and the ocean. The ocean was here in the city, under the concrete and the sand, the water is deep and the water is shallow, the water rises, ","so, I'm thinking about a girl and her voice and it's like a song and there's a girl with a red hair that she's got a halo of red hair and the blue wav","and i can't stop thinking about you... i don't know why, i'm sorry, i don't really know why i'm saying these things, but i feel like i could die if yo","and it's been a really long time since I was here before, like I've never been here before, and then the day that I was here, and I was really happy t","and we were playing in the grass, and I had to use the bathroom, and I was running like mad, and I tripped and fell, and then the grass was so soft th","a big dog with a ball and I'm running and it's like a catfight in my head... a cat and a dog fighting for the ball... like a big cat, he's like","I'm going to the supermarket and then I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going swimming. And then I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna come to my room and I","Iโ€™m sorry I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m saying, Iโ€™m sorry. Iโ€™m so sorry. I really donโ€™t know why Iโ€™m saying this. Iโ€™m not sure. Iโ€™m sorry","I think I might be going insane, because my brain is trying to talk to me. And it's like, 'No, no, no, please, don't speak to me, please don","I think about my sister, she's with some girl. I don't know if it's my sister. It's a girl that looks like my sister. I think about her. She looks at","[A]ll I wanted was to be loved. [W]hen [I] was six [I] loved [this girl] [and] [she] loved me back. [I","I am scared, I want to go home, I want you to come with me, I want to tell you that I love you, I want everything to go back to normal. I want you","the world of the birds. There's a girl with a doll. She has a... a... a baby. She's playing with her doll and... she's singing it a song. The song","and then there was this picture in my mind of the top of the tower where there is a window. I saw a boy with a hat like the one the dog had. He was ru","a little boy is sitting in the snow, with a hat and a snowshoe on his foot. He has a stick in his hand. He's trying to go faster and faster. He has","and then they put on the sky and they got a blue sky, and the moon was just starting to come out, and she had a pink dress on and she was walking on t","this is a tree, and this is a tree. This one's blue, and the other one's yellow. It's a blue tree and a yellow tree. No, wait, this isn't","and it's like a box... and it's the color of the sky, and it's really big. Like the sky is inside it, but it's not the sky, it's bigger.","It was a warm, bright summer day. A sky full of stars and clouds and a full moon. I was out in the yard and it was just me and the stars and the cloud","this is the way it is, it's like a door in my mind that leads into a cave. It's like a tunnel into the middle of a tree or something, and I can't see","I remember I was looking at a big window with a lot of stars outside and I was feeling really sad, because I was missing my friend and the light of th","I'm not going to put my left foot forward...and I'm going to put...my right foot forward...I'm going to...take it a little slower...I'm going...going ","the hand of time, it seems to me, is a great great hand, and the arm of the hand of time is the arm of time, and the fingers of the hand are the days ","It's not good, the world has gone wrong; it's the end of the world. They can't help, they don't want to help. You'll have to do it, and do","I must make you think and think and think! ... I must make you dream and dream and dream! ... I will make you believe that there is no need of sleep f","I am here. I am a tree. And the ground is wet and green and green and the sky is blue and the air is warm and sweet, and there is a warm, warm sun and","all these things...and I think that if you had been on the moon and seen it up there you would have thought that the moon was a really beautiful place","I feel very sad, I wish I was in the country, I wish someone would come and take me there, or make me go there, but I don't know what is sad and I don","a cloud of light, all around me, I'm floating, I can hear the sea, but I'm not on a beach, I'm inside the clouds, in a great dome of silver light","then she stood up and said, 'Good-bye, little ones. Good-bye.' And then she went to the door, and opened it and turned, and waved and waved, and then","oh no no no no. That's not it. That's too bright. It's not the right colour. I don't know. That's it. No no no no, no. That","there's a tree with leaves that are green, and it has a trunk that's green. The leaves are green, because it's a leaf, and it's green, and the tree ha","we are making a hole and there are these things floating in it. There are these things swimming and I am making it bigger and the thing is swimming an","and now, and now, in a way that's sort of like a painting, it's sort of a painting, I'm painting it with my mind, and I'm using it's all these","I'm just going to leave it there. I'm not going to do any more of those. I think I'm going to write some words that aren't in the book. I'm just going","[I am] having a feeling of not being sure ... [I am in a] place where I don't have to look up ... I'm sitting on a chair with my legs hanging over.","I have got this great idea - I've never done this before... I've got a dream I'm going to fly down... like I'm flying down... I'm going down a corrido","I'd like to see what would happen if I had a thousand people watching me and I were in the middle of a battle and the first thing to happen was to be ","[a]lone, it is the most wonderful place in the world, the best, the only place, and so, so, so happy, so happy. Now, she had to go","and then we were in the jungle... and then we were going up the mountain, and then the boy had fallen on his face... he had fallen on the rock and was","and you can't forget the thing that you know about, it's not like that. It's a lot like the old time, and the time of the old man, and the old man was","I don't know. It's like if I was a bird and I was flying. I don't know where I was flying to. I was flying around a little bit, I don't remember","And there it was again, my father, and I was in the air with him and he was flying like a bird and we were in the air and I was holding on to his wing","a train, with a lot of people on it, and then it stops at a station, and a lot of them get off, and then I go and find my father, who I hadn't","what can we say about them? They are all so like themselves, so like a picture of themselves! And that is what made us so happy, because there are a h","and the next one...this one, that was on the hill...oh, yes, this is on the hill. I know it well. It's very quiet on the hill, and the sun","and so we went down to the water and my sister's pet bird, she had a pet bird, and she called him... he was a lovely big black one with a red crown an","and I remember a time when my daddy was dead and I used to go up to the door of his room and I'd see his face up there, and it looked like he was smil","you've got to get those words out before you forget 'em. And you're almost done, I'm sure of it. There, it's there. I just know. I'll get it","it's a hot night, and I'm feeling hot, too. And I'm getting sleepy. I wish I were lying in a grassy meadow, with the sky all above me. And","and she has a long nose and a long tail, and she has long ears and she has big eyes and she has ... I've seen her before and she's very pretty and I'm","and I'm going to have some flowers for my mother. I'm going to make a cake. I'm making some for her, but they're not very good. And I'm going to write","I can see them coming, with their hats and their jackets on, and their coats, with their umbrellas, and their bags. I see them all coming down the str","we have to take some money for it. We will have to put some of our money in there for a couple of years, and we will have to take it out again, becaus","and the water's come to a boil. The potatoes are in there now. I can smell them. The bread's got in the oven. It's got to come out before it gets burn","I like the red dress, but the black would be prettier, the red wouldn't suit me. The dress is too long. It's not fair to give me the dress. It's a","I'm going to try and paint a picture of my husband and his face, and my face, and...I'll paint it like this, and it's going to be like a picture of a","we got a house in the country and we moved to the country. We bought a cow and a horse and a chicken. We named the horse Sam and the chicken Nanny. We","well, now I've just got the name of the baby. And he's got his name and he's got a big pink hat on. I've got him a little toy train that he can","I've got a nice big bed, like a double bed. It's not the same colour, but it's just like the one I got when I was three, and we went to bed together","I was just thinking about what I do with the papers when I used to do my washing. I put them on the washboard, then the iron, then the drawer. I was t","I'm thinking of some of the things that we're doing, and then I'm thinking of the things we're having to do, and then we have to put it in a bag, and ","and that was my mother and then a big red rose and then we were going to put it on the top of the cake, and then we had a cake and it was for my birth","well it's about my mother and how I don't like her. ... I don't really like my mother. She's an evil cow. ... My mother doesn't like me because I don'","I had a dream that I was a little girl and I was in the bathtub and it was very funny, and I was a princess and I was playing with a doll and I was ha","you know what, I'll tell you, you know what's wrong with the world? People don't take care of their friends. Well, I think that's wrong because people","I've got a little dog called Zulu. He was called Zulu when he was a puppy and he's got big brown eyes and a tail. He's a brown dog and he's a","we don't have any names in this, we've got some of them. We've got one called Buzzy Buzzy. And one called Bigfoot. And one about a fat man. And","it's all good. There's nothing wrong with it, except it's all wrong. But it's good. It's a good song. And it's got a bad beat, but that's","and I would like to be with you and you wouldn't let me and I'd want you to be with me and you wouldn't and I would say I love you and then you'd say ","I'm the only one that doesn't think he has a brain. I'm a little boy, I'm a bit older than you are, and I want to have a baby. You have to","I'm just going to see about the postcards...that was fun to watch...and that was good...I'm going to get the postcards for the people that want them..","a couple of weeks ago, I got a letter from this man... I think his name was... I can't remember it... anyway, he sent me a letter... you see, I've bee","and the house that is standing in front of me, it is about fifty years old, it is a two-story house, and it is a brick house, and the door is a two-do","I was looking at a book and I saw a picture of a lady with a dress on a big chair. And I thought, if you had a dress that big you couldn't go to the t","I don't like this, I don't like it at all. Well, there's no use looking at this. Now I'll go and look at some other thing. I don't think that","I'm not doing well, I'm not getting anywhere. I've been here five hours and I've still got nothing, and I'll be here all night, and I can't do anythin","and then there's this idea, I want to go on a trip. And then I get up, and I go on a picnic, and then I go on this other trip, and then there","this is an example of how we can have a little bit of money and then go up to the bank and get some money and we can put it on the side and then when ","but it was the little bird that killed the little rabbit, not the little rabbit that killed the rabbit that killed it. But it was the cat that killed ","I'm going to put him on a diet. He's got to lose weight, and I'll buy him a nice hat. He's fat and stupid, and he can't do anything for himself","all this is like the end of the world, and the end of the whole world. That is what the world is coming to. Now, the world is not coming to an end. Th","and there's no more food on the table, and they put on the dishes, and they're going to take it up and take it up to the sink. And when they're going ","my wife's in a coma at the hospital. I guess I must have forgotten to tell you, she has a comatose baby. It's not so good. She is a lot older than","then what do you do? Then I get up. Well, I can't help it. I just go around, I get a good meal. Then I go to sleep and have another one.","and this was going to be an enormous problem. There was only one other way to get in. You know, there was only one way to get in, and it's the same th","but I thought I was going to fall down. And that was my last chance to think, so I said, 'I'm going to fall.' And I did fall down and I screamed and s","I'd like a real good piece of bread, too. A real good piece, I'll tell you. I'll tell her I'm hungry, and I'll tell the lady to bring me a","it's not so much as a river but it's so much like a river that's made by a cataract, you know. The water falls and it makes a river, so it's","the white light. Then the brown light. Then you're getting there. There's no light. Then it's the red light, the yellow light. It's just like the sky ","this one's a big one, but I'm not sure if I got it, or if I'm even right, but I was thinking that there were these things that we had been on a pictur","it was just an ordinary day and I was at school, and then my dad took me home and I was getting ready to go out and get my bike and we went and we got","my feet, my feet. My feet. And my eyes. Oh! my eyes. They look like a big old rabbit. No, no, no, they look like a little rabbit. There","and the water is still dark... and then I think: what a pretty bird that was, and then I get an idea: I wonder if it would make a pretty thing to tie ","I've got a whole bunch of things here, but they're all mixed up, and I'm going to have to think, and maybe I'll write them down. That's my room; it","I feel like I'm going to be sick, so I'll sit down... Now I feel better... I'll go out on the lawn and look at the clouds. I'm going down into the","that's a nice way to put it. You can make it any way you want. Oh, here's one I thought of. I could put it in there in two places. It could go","The key thing about this is that the key thing about that is that the...the key thing about the key thing is the key thing. And the key thing about TH","I'm thinking of what it would be like if you were really close, you know, and you were right in front of you, and I could touch you. And it would be .","[H]ere we have the three who are left. That's all right. ... They're on the bed, you see. ... They are in the dark, ... I mean, I think","It's like when I had to paint, I was on a painting lesson, and there was a teacher with us, and I had to put in the sky. But it was a little difficult","and there's a black and a white. And the white has a little bit of a gray streak in it, and the gray is the only shade of gray that's not light, and i","and then, I think of this picture, like a painting, and the sun shining, and the wind blowing and blowing, and a little boy standing, and the water is","a man went up to the window and called, 'Good morning, Mrs. Andrews.' He said, 'Good mornin' back.' And he was going to say, 'Goodness,'","It's a strange feeling. The hair stands on end. I have a very good memory of the place. It was a sort of dark green. It had a blue roof on top. It was","and I'm in the garden of the old castle in the mountains ... I can't get home ... I think it's time I went to bed ... the lamp goes out and I'm going ","I was playing with a piece of paper which I had cut up, and it was like a little picture I had seen in a magazine, and I had a little box with a littl","And what was my last picture? I can't remember. I can't even think of it now, or it was a face and it was a man's face, and it was the man's","and now I think that it's just about right. It's just that the moon is round, isn't it? It's as big as that and all round and round, just like the sky","there was a child with a little dog; and when he had his dinner, he went to his play, and cried, 'Come, little dog; come and play with me.' The little","now the green ball is here and the red ball is here... it is a green and red ball... a little white ball is here ... a black ball is here. A blue ball","oh, no, no, oh, no, the big round one, oh, the big, round one, the one that's big and round. Oh, what a nice one, I'm","And then they'd run along and put them on the shelf, and I'd be on my own there, just as I am now, and I could see right through it all, and there'd","I'm thinking of a woman that I don't know, a lady, that I know that I don't think of. She's a widow, and she has a house full of children. And","I've got a room to let, the room in the attic. There's a very pretty girl there, a young lady. I can't say who she is. She's got a lot of","a good man is the only man that has a wife, a husband, a child, a home, a servant. 'A good man is a man that has everything a good man wants.' A","and here you are, like a fish on land. You are the only one. You are all alone. I don't know what you can do, you can't speak to me. I'm","now I shall begin, and I hope I shall be able to do it as well as I can; and, first, I must begin at the beginning, and tell you how I got this house","there is a thing, or rather a state of mind, that we call love. There is a word for it: luv. Now, I don't know what it is, because I've","you're my wife. But I don't love you. That's why I don't like it, and why I never would have married you if I had known it. If you only knew how","I am here and I am in love with you, but I have no idea what you are going to do, you have no idea why you are here, so it is best to keep each other","Now I'll take the other one. You say it's for the Germans, and it's for you. Then the Germans get a taste of what it's like for you. That's what I","you are looking at me and I am looking at you and we are in love and you are the most wonderful girl in the world. You are the most beautiful creature","It was the first time, at any rate, that I had ever seen a white person in this part of the country. ... I was walking down the street when I heard a ","oh I don't know I just don't know. No you can't, no you can't!... Why you shouldn't. No you shouldn't, no, you shouldn't!... I","there was a little girl in the park with a pink ribbon in her hair and she was running on a red brick road with a little baby in her arms and a big li","I was watching a little baby crawling about on a sofa. Its eyes were black, and it was looking at me. It was my baby and I was it. It was crying and i","and I don't want to go on no more. I'm sorry to say it, but I don't no more. If I had a gun in my hand I'd shoot you. Now you","'I am tired of it,' I said. 'I can't do it anymore.' The little old woman smiled, and nodded. 'Ah!' she cried, 'That is your first thought!","and so it was, that at the sound of this song, the angel of death came upon the people of Israel, and took their souls. But when the people saw the an","And what's this? ...Let's see... She... Oh, she... Oh, look!... She's going... She's gone!... Oh, my... oh, my, my,","and she turned round and saw me and said 'Hullo, is that you?'. And she was very red, and I felt my face grow cold. 'It is not me', said I","I'd like to be in the sky, and see the world from on high, but I don't know how, and so I can't. There is one thing I want to do; to","we're going to go to the end, we're going to end this way, I can hear him saying, 'You're not going to end it,' I'm going to end him, I","and so he goes to his grave, and then it comes to me, it comes to you, I was thinking of that the other day, I was, it came into my mind, I was","And then, after they've finished, you put them down. But you didn't put them down yet. That's why they're not so good, they're still not so good. You ","then I think of how I will put up the windows, and the top of the window will be a little higher up than the others, because I don't want to see the f","in this room, in this room, there's a lovely painting, there's an apple-tree. It's so very lovely. ...Yes. ...And now it's all the same. And there","the sky was red and orange ... I have seen that before, just behind the church of the Assumption, and I was so surprised ... I used to go there in spr","the way he's dressed now is like a little boy. ...the house looks just like the house on the book. ...when I was little, they used to carry me to bed ","this is the kind of house I want to have. We'll have a big bedroom, with a lot of windows. It'll be in the middle of a garden, with a little house, an","The girl came home with the fish in a basket... [the girl came home from school with the fish and they were all in the basket. The children put them o","And when we have done a lot of things, and I know they're all for our benefit, and I think we should take some time to have a little rest and to have ","and you can't even eat them, but I can't remember the name of them. I wonder if they are in the garden. They are so hard, they don't rot or anything. ","I see my grandmother on a beach, in a big rocking-chair, she's rocking and rocking, I am thinking of her rocking-chair and she's singing the rocking-c","and this is what I said the other day. 'I know it's a very long way, but I'll find it'... and she said, 'Oh, how nice to meet you.","Oh, yes, I was saying that there was a new baby. Yes, yes, there was, there was a baby. Why didn't he say it? Yes, that's right. And","And this is what we did: we did a lot of thinking; we had a lot to think of and we were always thinking. We never had any time to be still; we were al","It's all very well to say, 'Let's do it. We'll try it.' But that doesn't work. The way I see it is, the way I've always thought it was","I'm not quite sure how it is I know these things. I suppose it's that there was an impression made upon me, perhaps when I was a child, and I had forg","a picture of a house on the sea. The sea is blue, like a calm sky, but there's a little boat with a white sail, and the little boat is going to the ho","And if we could all have some good weather, just a little rain here and there, it would be wonderful. Oh, and the moon is shining over the sea. Oh, th","and it's very nice. And he was looking for something, and then he found it, and the book fell open, and he was standing there looking in at the words.","and I'm a good listener too, but sometimes I can be a little quiet... and my voice sounds just like that... that's my voice... but sometimes I'm just ","I was wondering if I could just sort of do this exercise and you just lie down in the middle and just kind of relax. Just take your time. And I wonder","the kind of thing you can do when you're trying to remember something, like you're trying to put two together or something. ...and then you hear the s","so that is what I wanted to do with the water and with the big leaf and I went to the little leaf and I was thinking how the leaf moves in the water a","it's really strange, i'm thinking of a line from a poem by thomas hardy. it's this, 'to see a world in a grain of sand...' and i'm thinking about","I was just thinking, a bunch of people in the park were having a picnic and I was thinking about the food, I guess, or maybe the picnic itself, I don'","and we could be standing on the top of the Empire State Building. Now it's very high. Now I have a vision of the Empire State building and a dog and I","I'm not going to say something that would make you cry, is that right? ... Oh! I'm going to make you cry. No. ... Okay, this is a bad way of thinking","and this is what I want to do. This is what I think we should do. Now I am going to try to get all the ideas I can think of. You know how it is,","and I got an idea! I'll draw a little sketch of the wall and its shadow... the wall is one square, and the shadow of the wall is another square... and","that's like the middle of a circle. The center of a circle is right there. And the center of a sphere is right here, like a globe. It's like that, rig","it was all wrong, it was all wrong. ... I could see the plane coming in, the plane coming from the right. And I knew what it would be like to see the ","I'm trying to think of a good way to go on with this. I don't want to go on for too long. I could have a good idea and then I wouldn't remember it.","it's got to be a red spot. I don't know. Oh, I know. It's a red spot, and I am going to use it in some way. I think the word","we've been trying to get to the top of the tree and we got stuck in a little knot and couldn't get over it; and we tried a little thing with a rope; a","a green snake. A green snake. [Sings] 'Honey, honey, honey, ' in the key of G. He's a good fellow. He's got a good name.","that's right! you don't need to be a good driver, to do this, but you need to be quick. like, oh, if the little lady with the big hat comes by,","now you can say what I'm thinking, but I want to hear it right away, right here, right now. And I can't hear it now. And you can't say what I am","I think of that place where there used to be a very good bookstore, and they used to have books from the 1800s and 1870s and everything, and","the little boy with the red hat and the brown trousers who was going to come to our house and give us all kinds of presents, and that he had his fathe","we are here to meet you and to take you back to the house in the woods. It is time to get ready for the house and it is time to be in the woods and th","the children are running away, running away, and the children are running out of the house, and the little children are running down the street, and t","and I could not believe that the earth could be flat, for it is so big and so round, and if it were flat, the ends of the earth would be the ends of a","we can take an apple from the tree, and from the apple take a worm; and from the worm take the ground, and from the ground, water; and from water a pl","And then I came to the point where I was going to be on the bed and I was going up and down the bed and there were all these chairs in the room. Then ","[t]o the right [I] see a dog, a black dog, I think a dog, yes, I have seen many dogs, they are good dogs, I know you have a","and then she got up and went out into the corridor and put her head out of the door to see what time it was. And she saw the old man who had been look","I know you have a whole lot of work to do, but it will all come out right, and we'll be having a splendid dinner, and we will go in for a dance, and w","I can't think of any names, I don't know them, they're all gone now, they've all left. The one that I remembered was called - I think - Mary. I've","[I think I] shall do nothing but ... [I] don't know what I'll do ... [I don't know] how to do it ... [I'm] going to do it","you have the old ones, and you have the new ones, and the old ones are in the attic. You have the old ones and the new ones. The new ones are in a hou","the first one that came to me was that the number of the house was 56, but that didn't do no good, and then I remembered the other one, and it was the","the little old man is about the size of an ox; it is a fact, as well as a rule. He's as big as an ox, but he's a little old man. He","and the whole thing's gone, gone, and that's the thing, and all that's gone, and what's the use of thinking of it if I can't write it down! Now it","you are not the man you were, for I know that you were a man once. And you are not the boy you were, because I know that once you were a boy. And you ","there are so many things that I would do, if I could, and so few that I can't. If I only had time. If I could get rich. If I were a man.","the body of a man, standing on one leg. It seemed like a man of gigantic size, and, when it came to me, it was very easy to see, but then I thought of","the other day, I was driving and my horse was riding in front of me, and I was driving with my horse, and a big dog came along the road and barked, an","all the rest of it, so that's a piece of it and there's another one that has some of it in it and if you take away some of it and put some of it over ","it is the same as in the old days. There was a great big old ship, which sailed upon the sea. And this ship sailed with a big, big wind, which blew it","the most awful thing in the world. What you call the old lady, that is the woman of the world, and she is the one, the woman of the house; she is the ","but what I don't understand is how you are able to hold out so much longer than any of us. It's not that I don't admire you, but it's hard to take you","I have to have it. I must have it. Yes, I must have the horse. It must be mine. It must come to me! Oh, my dear! It must come, my","and I didn't like the fact that she was so very stupid. I don't know, but she's a stupid, stupid woman! It's only because I am not a fool that I was","And suddenly, suddenly a terrible image came into my head: I saw the room in which I am lying, and I heard the voice of an old woman say to me: 'My ch","and he's in a panic and I can't get a word out. I've been crying, and I can only get out one little word, and when I say it, the little word that","Now I'm thinking, 'Oh, what a beautiful time to be alive! What a beautiful time for us to live here!' But then the thoughts come. The thoughts come, t","we can see it, this is it, this whole thing, all the things, all the different things, the things that we think of, and they are all different, they a","then all of a sudden the whole world changed, and the whole world fell down into a pit that was black, and I was like, 'I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid","the people, I think, are looking at us through our eyes; they can see what we see and hear what we hear, but we cannot see and hear them. We can see a","that's all right, but the thing that bothers me most, the thing I'm afraid of, is that I don't know what to do with it. It's all wrong, all twisted,","I don't want to hurt them. I'm not a good mother. I'm just a bad, bad, bad mother. But I don't even want to be good, because then I wouldn","[a]fter the first few seconds of that, the next few seconds, I thought I was going to see the end of the world. There was just this great flood of tho","that it was a real world, it was a world like the world in here. But it was a different world. It was a world without boundaries. It was so big, I did","I am not at all sure I have been doing it right, but I don't want to do it wrong either, because I like it, and I want to do that thing, I want to","and then the world came to me, all at once, and I was aware of every single thing, the sun, the stars, the sky, the air, the earth. I was aware and","and the whole world will know that we are not going to be controlled. Because if we are controlled, then that is a kind of hell, and we will have to s","what if this is a man? what if it's a woman? what if these are children? ... I think of this as a man, and I say that it's a man. The children","we've got a few of them down on earth already, and I don't know whether they'll ever have another chance. If they don't, then they have had a chance, ","There's no real purpose to the universe. It's just a thing, and you are a thing that lives and exists in it, and all of the things you know about your","so we're like, okay, we've got these little things and we've got a world of them and we've gotta figure out how to live with them and how to handle th","it's like an eternal present, you know, just floating through eternity, just kind of being aware. It's like the feeling you get when you're in the des","and that's why we're here, it's an experience we're not meant to have, to be in that moment and not know what is happening and that is why we're in he","I remember seeing the sky and the moon and I remember feeling at the moment, that that was a lot more than it had ever been in all my life, and I reme","I see you again, but I can't see you as you were. It's a beautiful, warm light and the light of a sun you can't touch or move. You are very, very","and we're going to go down into the depths of the earth and we're going to find a lot of water. I'll be the water. And I'm going to be in this world a","the word 'Daimon' ... The word Daimon ... the Daimon! The word DAIMON! The word, the word of the word! It was not a word of","I feel that I've seen this place before, this space, and I feel it's not the same space, but I can't remember it, and I can't speak the name of this s","The ground is dark and the sky is black and it is the ground I am standing on. The ground is very black and the sky itself is very black. It is pitch ","I've been a woman for thousands of years, I've been a human being for millions of years...I've been alive for billions of years... I have been there, ","and in the silence of the void, the whole of this universe was the silence. And the silence was the void. And the void was the silence, and the silenc","I saw a lot of things. I was in a place with a lot of light. There was a big dome of light. I had never seen so much light before. There were light sp","I'm sorry that you're not a man, my sweet. I'm sorry I can't be a man for you. I'm very sorry. You've always been a part of me. I","The light from this moment, which we are now feeling, is the only light we can ever be. There is nothing in it to fear, nothing to be afraid of. In it","it seems as if everything I want to be is not going to happen, that everything I love is not going to live, that everything is not going to exist in t","you know, it is an interesting thing that sometimes the words come with no thought at all. Sometimes the words come to me, I donโ€™t know how or where, ","you are in the middle of a dark, stormy night. You are on a dark road. You see a tree and you get out of the car, you get out into the night, and","There is a being within us, within me, within you, who has the ability to manifest itself in anything. It is the infinite source of life. And the soul","[The participant] was feeling very much in the present moment, as he was asking for guidance. He had a lot of faith. He was also aware of the power of","And it seems, from what we know about the functioning of our brains and our consciousness, that we are not a product of our physical being, or at leas","And then, when we die, the last thing that will happen is a little, small explosion that will give us the experience of becoming a star. And then it i","The reason is that you, as a human being, do not really exist. It's like when you get a piece of paper and write down something and then you put a pie","this is the time to be very attentive, when we are in this moment, because we have the power to change it by changing it in our mind. In order to do t","but that's what we're not doing. We're not doing it, we're not making it happen, and then we're getting angry that it isn't happening. That's what hap","it's the way it is. It's all here. It's the way I am. And it's not just me. It's everyone, even all things. And it doesn't matter if","I want to think about myself, my soul and how I am. I want to find out what is my soul and my life, how it is in a general sense. I think, and then","we have to get to the other side, and we have to get there. That is where we must get to. And that is where we will get there. Because we are not free","I think that all my ideas are so good that I can see that I am capable of great things. I see myself as great. And yet, I do not achieve it. Why? Beca","it is possible to talk to God, to ask him to reveal himself, and to give us our nature; it is possible, if we are sufficiently humble, to ask of him t","I'm not talking about you at all, but about the whole human being, that's the point. ...You're not thinking that which is above and below you are in h","I would like to tell you that, by and large, I do not have to look for the divine in nature, nor in a higher, supernatural realm, because the divine i","this is a moment of the separation of mind from matter, and this is a moment in which mind can have its being. This is a moment in which matter and sp","the concept of being, which is the same as being a being, is the same, as it is always, the same thing. Now, one may speak of being as something, of w","It's quite difficult to explain, and it's also very difficult to understand. But one of the reasons it's so difficult is that you're not able to see t","my heart is beating slowly. ... my heart is beating. ... I can feel my heart beating. ... and I can feel the muscles of the heart and the circulation,","[I]t's very interesting. ... the fact of having [my]self here in a place where the self is not the self, it's not a thing, but something which is bein","this is a big room. You're in a big room and it is full of air. The air is being breathed in and out. In and out. And in and out, and in and","I am listening to the sound of the sea... the sea is moving towards me. The sound of the sea is always the same, and yet, each moment, it is different","we will say that the mind is a flow of energy and that each of us is the flow of energy, or the energy of the flow. Each of us is an energy, in the se","it's not really a feeling, it's an experience, it's a thought, it's... the thought that I have of myself. The thought that I am, I have a feeling of m","the sound of my own voice. The voice is very beautiful. And this is very nice. And then there is the sound of a voice. And this voice has a rhythm. An","and I saw myself as the body of a great, ancient tree, a tree that had been growing for many eons, and I was the body of that tree. But I didn't see i","the truth. The truth. The only truth that has power. All other truths, and all other things, are just lies. I have heard of the truth before. The trut","it's as if I were in a dream, in a state of awareness. I can see the world in a kind of 'subconscious' light, because I am not fully awake, I am","it is in the nature of things that I must be alone. I am a solitary, I am not a social being. I am not lonely, I am in peace, I am at ease,","that's all we got, that's it, that's the world, that's everything. And yet the world is an illusion. Everything is an illusion, this very act of perce","and the life I have been leading for centuries, a life of mere time, a mere temporal succession, and for what purpose? For the sake of something that ","I think it is a good thing to remember, that when we are alone in our cells we are really alone. The feeling of our loneliness is not just the feeling","and I'm sitting here in the dark, in my bed. In my bed, but not really in my bed, because I'm a fragment, an atom, a part of the universe. The","I am on the road to a destination. I am coming out of my house and I am going into a place that is not a house. I am going to a place that I cannot se","and now I'm having this sensation in my body of being outside the body... it is just a sensation... now I'm in a world of sensation, and this sensatio","the language of the body. That's a very interesting phrase, 'the language of the body'. I'm thinking, I'm sensing, I'm thinking of my body, and I'm th","and then the sun, I think it's the sun, there's a bright light there, and I feel warm. I feel the sun. I'm moving, and I can feel the sun moving","so many things, but that is all I'm focusing on. That is all I can focus on. I don't know where the focus is, I don't know how that works, it is","[my hand] is floating in the air in front of me. [it's floating in the space between my head and my body] ... floating in space. [it is not moving in ","I'm trying to think about what this is, this experience of saying the words out loud. There are words that come through, and there's this sensation of","now it's almost like a different language. It's almost like an alien language, and the language is just being generated and it's going through me with","And then I wonder, like, how do I know I'm thinking? How can I know I have a body? What's the mechanism that connects the two? Or is it one? And how","I know I'm here, that is a certainty. That's the way I'm here now. But there is this strange thing about me, that I'm always aware of. I know I'm","[I'm] thinking about how to solve this problem and how to find this problem. I feel like there's a whole lot of knowledge in this body, in this mind a","this is my thought process going on, I can't tell what's going on, how much of it is unconscious, how much is conscious, I can't feel any difference, ","the two people I was working with just a day or so ago, I was just seeing them and then they were not there anymore. Then the image of their faces, of","I'm not really sure what's going on in my head. I know that when I'm in the state of quiet attention, when I'm relaxed and I'm not thinking, my brain ","what is the quality of my present state? What is the quality that is happening right here? What is this? What is it? What is present in this space? Wh","[a]nd it's not enough for me to think, to be thinking. I have a sense that, if I don't, I will die. But I am not sure whether it is","and it feels like the flow of time is now shifting. This is very strange, and it is quite disconcerting, because I feel that this shift is taking plac","I think my left hand is a little too strong. My left hand has to move my left hand. But I have to be aware of what's happening in my left hand and how","and I wonder what would be the state of consciousness if I could, with full awareness, see what is happening on the outside at this very moment? I'm s","and the stars are getting brighter, but I'm still getting more and more tired, and the stars and the sun and the moon and the planets are getting more","I have this feeling that I'm supposed to be the center of everything that happens around me. And that everything should revolve around me and my exist","[I]magine... I imagine I'm on a beach... And I'm very alone and I'm looking around and I see... It's very peaceful and it's very... And the light","I'm walking down the path to my house. I'm walking towards the end of the path, where I will reach my house. There is a kind of gate or arch or whatev","... The thing is, what is going on with the mind? There seems to be some sort of mental flow, but not like a stream of consciousness. Itโ€™s like, itโ€™s ","in the moment I see the world, and I am in the world. And I am in a world of many dimensions. And it is just as I say that the world is, and it is","The thing that was with me is this thing of being a mirror of the universe. The way the universe manifests itself is through my body. My body is this ","I've got a sort of idea of a poem of what's going on here, in my life, right now. I know that there's some kind of a thing that's going on. There","I am on the way to somewhere, and I am in the middle of something. I'm moving along this path. I'm walking. I am aware that I am walking, but I'm also","The center of the room is the space for the life of the room... and this space, that is the center, is what it is to be present in the room. And it is","now, I have the image of a landscape and I'm looking at it, looking at it from the inside. So I'm looking, I'm seeing, I'm in the image of the landsca","and in a sense this is a perfect time to think about what I have been thinking about in the last few minutes because I am not being directed to do any","I think my thinking is more or less random, there is not any kind of order, I think my mind is not able to create order, it just has some sort of rand","[The participant] is having an internal dialogue and it is almost as if you are having a dialogue with your own self, and the words are coming through","it's a circle of motion and motion is like an arrow going straight forward, the whole arrow, so in that sense it's a straight arrow, it's not a circle","it's the way of life here, it's not a particular object, it's just that it's always something that is. And the more you work on this, the more you can","I am the sky. And the sky is blue. And the blue sky is the same as the blue color, but the color is not the sky. The blue is a color, and it is","and I have an image of myself being in a cave and this cave is full of light and that's how it starts and the light is just the beginning, the beginni","there was a dark blue star, and I saw my shadow in that star. I thought: 'my shadow is made of light, therefore I am made of light. If my shadow is ma","The color of the universe is... The universe is a solid... The solid is color. I can see... It's like the universe is a crystal. I can go... into the ","the universe is one, and the light is one and it has been with us since before creation, and it is our connection with the infinite, our connection to","this is like a mirror... it's the mind itself... I'm going to see how many reflections of myself I have. I'm going to make a mosaic of my mind with my","the sky is like the inside of a vase, and it's all the same color. There is a strange orange-red. I can see all the colors at once, and there is only ","I am going to write my name. It is a sound. It is not a sound. I am going to sing it. I am singing it. I need a voice to sing it in.","a word, a word, a line. What is the line? A line is a word. A word is the word. A line is the line. A word, a word, is the","I'm on my way to the end of the line of the tree of life, but I can't get past the first door. There are six doors leading into the Tree of Life, one ","I'm so tired. And it's 2:30 in the morning. I just don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. It's like the whole thing","so in that way you don't have to wait for the next one, but you just go straight there, so I guess that is the place you find your soul, so that is th","the sky is blue. Yes, the sky is blue, and it is the colour of blue. And the blue is a colour, the colour of a certain light that we call blue. Now th","you've got to know what you're doing, you've got to do the job. Now the question is, how do you do the job? You know what you want to do, you've","and we need to go down into this, the basement of being, because that's where the real transformation is. Because when we go down, we can no longer us","the subject is, I am the subject, the subject of subjectivity. And what is the subject, which is the subject of this subject, is it, the subject, an o","and so I think that what's interesting to me about it is the following: in fact, it's the following, but if you take the image of a book, the image of","I'm thinking about what you said about the mind being an open system. How does that work out? Is it like an open system in physics? We can see that a ","the sky is blue, the grass is green, the sky is blue. The sky is blue as an open field. Blue is a color. I can see blue, but the blue that I can","you can get a big, long string of images, you can get visual images, you get a little bit of sound, but mostly images, and you can get, like, you know","I have a very high degree of certainty that when we have the same level of understanding between two people, then the level of interaction is at least","it's the only way you can tell if it's an object or a sound. If it's a sound you have no other choice but to use this body [the listener] to listen an","and there was the voice that told me 'this is an important thing, this is something I want to know'. It came again in my mind as a voice of conscience","now we're starting to enter into the realm of thought where there is no subject and no object, no separate subject, no separate object. Now we are beg","what I do in life, I feel it. It's not a thought, it's not a concept. It's a feeling that I am. It is an action of what I do. If","Now, my right hand is there, the right hand of my body, and it is moving; I can feel that movement. Now, my right arm is there, and I can see, I","a kind of visual map of the brain. There is a part of the brain that is activated when you see something. There is another part that is activated in t","and so, it's kind of the same way I have dreams. It's like I'm dreaming that I'm awake, that I am dreaming, and I'm dreaming of me, and I know","and I can hear your voice. You are not just a projection of my thoughts, but a real voice that is communicating with me. And I hear a voice in my head","And I'm very tired and I'm thinking about how tired I am, and it's really hard to explain this but it seems like I can only be tired of this reality, ","and the idea of this being a metaphor for a little child that we are all at the time that we are dreaming. The child has a sense of a greater awarenes","the memory of my childhood. I remember a little bit, but not much. I do know that I was born on a Tuesday. My father was a little bit of a poet and ha","I was in a hospital in the past. In a hospital with a lot of light, not as much of a hospital as I can remember. And then I saw this little girl and s","I can see a cloud. I can see a hill, the sun is in the distance. I can feel myself walking. There is a trail that leads from this hill, and I can see ","and now I'm remembering the beginning of my life and all of a sudden I'm seeing a beautiful landscape. The landscape is very different from anything I","and I see the forest, and I hear the river, and I feel the sun shining on my skin, and I see the stars, and I go towards a huge cloud and I feel mysel","now I'm watching a little boy, I don't know where he is, I'm watching him, he is standing there with a little doll, and I'm looking at it and I'm watc","my heart beats, and I see my heart beating and I see the pulse, I hear the pulse, the pulse is the heart beating. The heart is beating and I can see i","my life has been filled with conflict and I'm very sad and I feel this deep sadness and this pain and I'm not sure whether this pain is my own or whet","I'm in the middle of a thought, I'm in the mind, the mind is like a cloud. In the middle of the mind, I'm a particle of cloud, a cloud particle.","my heart is filled with love, a love that is unconditional, a love I have for all creatures and all living things. This is a very deep experience, a d","the more we are, the less we are. I want to be more. I want everything. I want more. I am nothing. I am not there. I am something, and I am","I see a face that I knew before. It is my father. He is present. I am present. He is there, and I am there. I know that my father is not present,","Now, now, that is not so easy. I know I have it. But, I can't find it. I don't know what it is. I don't want it. It is","a lot of activity, the body, all of these things are very alive, but my mind is not. When I open my eyes, it's as if the mind is a house, and the","I'm here, I'm here. I see myself in front of me, looking at it. I can move forward, and I move forward. I can see the inside of my head, the","And if I can't get out of the room, then I get a chance to look at the walls and the ceiling and the floor and the people in front of me, and I think ","a body with a face like a snake head and a body like a human body, with a head like a human head, but with a tail like a snake tail and a body that is","and if they were in the air, then they would fly up into the sky, and if they were on the ground, then they wouldn't fly. So, they would float around ","and what would happen if I was sitting here... and a girl, a tall, slim girl, walked out of the room... I was thinking she could be the next... my nex","[the participant] is thinking about a green thing, like a tree, a small tree with a lot of leaves. They're not just thinking about the tree, they're t","now it is 12:07, ... and I think of a place, a place where I used to live, an old house, and the people who lived there, and there was","1000...1001...1010...1111... 1011...1101... 0011100","the sky is black and the stars are all in one place and some of the stars are larger than the others ... [squeak] ... this is a small and big star ...","I'm going to remember all of this. All of this will be there when I open my eyes again. I don't know why this is important, I just have a feeling. I w","the whole thing is a mess of tangled cords and wires. If they ever find out who I am they'll think I'm the devil or something because I'm red, and the","and I saw this tiny thing, you know, a speck of dust on the table, like a speck on a glass of water, a little tiny thing, and it looked like a tiny","I see a rose with its leaves and its stem. Its leaves are small and its stem is short and the flower is red. It has a yellow center and yellow petals.","I think I'll eat some cake. Oh, no. Oh, wait. I think I'll try some of that cake, too. That's a very nice color, blue. I think it","the train goes whizzing by me, and the leaves on the trees, they're moving too. And they look like they're singing. The leaves on the tree are all dif","and my little hand was all tangled up...my hair was tangled up...I could see my hair was all tangled in the...in the...all over...over my face...and I","I'd like to go to the ocean. It's so beautiful, I'll die if I don't go soon. I'd like a good bath. I'm so hot. I'll die.","I'd be so afraid of you, I couldn't walk in the same room with you. I'd be afraid of you so much, I'd never go near you, not even the house.","what would happen if there was a little black butterfly in my room. A butterfly. If it were to come and stay with me, what would it say to me? ... it ","I think I'd like to have a big bed and some soft pillows to put over it, and a big chair by the side of the bed to sit on and look down at the bed... ","I want to talk about my head. It's really pretty. It's red, and has a lot of bumps. I've got to put my head down on this. What's this? It","and I said, 'Do you know the one that I'm looking for?' And the first one that came to mind was that one and the other one, so I said, well, this one","It's a strange thing, I think. To have someone else do it. ... To have someone do it to me. ... I don't know what it is, and I don't want to","then what about this?...Yes, this. I will ask it to come down here. [points with finger to the table] ...no...yes...there...see...no. It goes","I'm working on a piece of music, it's a little bit like a piano sonata, except that it's an accordion sonata. There are 88 notes. I'm trying to","and so she thinks, 'I'll tell it to my friend, and he'll tell it again, and he might think of another way, and so on, so I've got to find a","I have been told, 'you are an actor.' And I have been asked to tell a story. I think of a story I have heard about, and I tell it: ... it is about","I know I'm going to do something now. I'm going to cut out something. I've got a thing that I want to make out of this piece of wood. I'm going to mak","And I'm writing now and it's coming in letters and I'll just write it down: it's going in this direction. ... Now I've got a pencil in one hand and th","I'm writing a book on the way we see things, or something like that. I'm trying to explain how we see things. That's the name of it. I'm going to writ"],["and then I'll have to write the other half of this and then I'll go back to the first half and say, well, you know, let's go back and say that we did ","And then the other guy goes, 'yeah, I could get into that.' So he says, 'I know, what I think we should do is we should do this. We could try that","there were a bunch of little white girls that were really cute, and one of them was wearing a very pretty dress. And they were sitting in a little row","and I went back to my room and got a couple of towels and I went out to the pool and I'm thinking, 'You're in this predicament, you can't do anything ","and this is where I came across the word 'flam' and that was interesting, because when I was a kid we had that little lamp that was the flam, which is","I mean, I can't see how you could do that, right? I'm thinking, if it was, like, in the newspaper, you would see a picture of, of, uh,","and there's the end of the world...oh, God, I'm going to die...oh my god...oh my...I can't breathe...I can't...I can...I can","it's just not there. It's just not coming. It's not there. I mean, I know. I've just gotta think it. It's got to come out somehow. And then","and then he...oh, it's going to be alright, it's not going to be a...oh, I'm gonna fall asleep in here, I'm not going to fall asleep, I","The feeling that the world was coming to an end... that it was about to change, that something was going to happen that was going to change everything","I've come to realize that I'm not that far away from what you call a super-vampire or a super-demon. I know that there's a lot of me in that. The reas","I think the reason there are no real answers is because you can't even understand the questions. We're still talking about the same things, and we're ","You must have a soul. It must be a living being, and you must have a living soul in the flesh. You must have two. And if you're a god, then you must h","I know now what it is that's wrong with all the world. The truth is that, in order for our brains to work, they need to be in contact with the world. ","And I will, I will go to the top and I will open it and I will say to it, I will say, 'I will not keep you any longer. I will let you go","so now you see, if I could have done this I would have done it. I would have said I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me, and I would ","and that is the place where the Son of Man, Jesus Christ, the Messiah, who came from the Father to take upon himself the curse of the Law, the Law of ","there were others in that time. Those who have come to know God. And they have taken to heart that which I have told you, and have become strong in fa","[a]ll the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many par","this is what I would call a first human being, if I were to put a human being into the place of God. I would call this the first man. I would not say ","I feel in my heart and in my brain and in the body that it is an absolute impossibility to kill. The universe is alive; all things live and all things","and then a sort of double-thought, which is a kind of a double idea, and it's a very horrible kind of an idea, which has nothing to do with thought, b","And then he went back to his room again, and he did his prayers, and then he was sent back to the school, to the school. He was sent to the school to ","I was a little boy. I was just a little boy, and I was playing with a stick. I had a little stick. I was playing a game with the stick and the stick w","and, I suppose it's a good thing I can't hear the rest of them, or I should hear them in my head too. But I think that I can see them in my mind's","I would not be able to continue living in this world after the death of the girl, and the earth itself would become so quiet as to become a shadow. I ","I see a blue sky... ... that is dark blue... ... I see a grey sky... ... but it is a deep grey... ... and I hear a noise, the noise of a child crying","now I know what you mean, and I will call on my little friend the thought and he will answer my call. You must not laugh at me, for I am very earnest ","Now I'm going to get you a present of some kind. I know I've said before that I wasn't going to give you anything, but this is one time that I will, a","I think, I have a theory of the world. It is one of those theories that is a little bit like a giant clock, with a lot of wheels and a lot of cogs and","you want to look at me and then you want to let me look at you. But then I must think it's all so beautiful to look at, and you don't want to look. Yo","I see a circle in the sky, it is as though there were a wheel, or a wheel made of circles, but the circle itself is full, and the wheel is full of cir","a bird, a bird that has taken to the air, is flying over the sky, and you see the bird, and you're in it, but it's not a bird. It's a","you don't have to be afraid to do things you can't do, I thought. You can always do what you can't, or else you will just never do anything at all. Th","the black and white picture of the boy. The black and white image of the boy with the knife in his head and the red blood flowing down the wall, in th","a long time ago there was a young man, and a young woman. And they were young and they were beautiful and they were happy and they loved each other. T","I'm sorry, my dearest, I can't go. I have to die first, and then you'll be alone. I've killed you. I can't stay, and I can't","I see, the sun is shining, the world is bright, and I am happy, and the clouds are forming and they are coming. But I am not afraid, for there is no d","And I do not want to go, I don't want to go to the place, that's why I will die there, I will not go to the other side. I will stay on my","And a sudden impulse came to me that I could not resist, I sprang up, I crossed my room, I was already at the door when the desire came to me again to","I have a picture of you, this image is of you. You are the one I am thinking about, and I do not know if I want to be the one to have this picture of ","a child and an old woman... a man in a white robe is sitting at a table, and there are two people on the floor, a woman and a man, who are dying. It s","and the little children of the village are sleeping under the leaves, their mothers are sitting around the fireside, in the bright night, with the lit","I'm having a headache. Oh, how I wish I had a hammer and chisel and some stone, and could chisel off my brain, and let the stone be chiseled to build","[The child] is in the land of the living, and the living cannot come into the land of death. What is that I see, a door, but it cannot be opened. Ther","and then they would not go, they would stay there until it was time for them to go, then they would go on, and they would go in to the sun, and they c","and you have been looking for me? ... You have been looking for the one who can make the things, the things that we see. ... I have seen you looking a","I see my mind... and I see my hand... I see the room. It is as if I was a man in the sea... a little man in the middle of the sea... I see","I will start the process, and it will be the end of time... I will start with nothing, I will start a black void... It will be the beginning of time, ","I am dreaming I am floating. I am a floaty thing, floating through the world, through space, through time, through reality, through the cosmos. I am f","then, well, I'll have to say to the angels, I'm a bit busy right now. I have to take care of a little business, so I don't want to have a conversation","And they were also beautiful. And we saw it on our way, and then we saw it in our dreams. And there were many others like them, many many others. But ","and I think that the earth was formed by a cosmic storm, an event of such vast power that it brought to existence the first creatures and made them to","I remember when we first met in a dream, I remember when I first met you. I was a great explorer, a great seer. And you were a great magician, a great","and in the morning when I woke up, I saw the Sun rising on the mountains, and that was my first glimpse of the world, and it was so bright, and so cle","and we are very young. I am very young, but it's not me. It's you. It is the soul of the Earth which is the soul that is in me. I am not","and what will happen, I think, what will happen is that there will be a little more and little less in the world. That's all there is to it. Because t","I think the truth is that all of us have the power to do what we want, so there is no freedom and no power for anyone else. There is just the truth an","I've been thinking about the problems in my mind, and I've been trying to come to understand the nature of my mind and what my mind is like. And I'm n","I have a very strong sense of this, I do not think it can be otherwise. ...I feel, I have to admit it, I do not know if this is the right thing, I","... I'm lying here, and there's no one there, and yet there is this formless, limitless space, and there is this limitless, formless consciousness, an","it's always a question of time. I am always on a quest to get rid of the past and move into the present, into the future. But it's never going to happ","I'm beginning to realize that what I think is a lot more than a thing that exists. I think that I am a lot more. I am not just the things I am thinkin","It's not about the mind. It's not about any specific concept or the mind or consciousness or anything else. It's the experience, it's the actual reali","this is the language of the unconscious. And I have to say that what I'm trying to do is not to put a label on a state of consciousness but to live a ","The first thing to do is to become aware of your thoughts, and then to observe the thoughts. When we are aware of our thoughts, we can make observatio","this is a thing which I have not previously known of. This is a thing I have not noticed before, and which is therefore new. A new way of thinking tha","what is the point of this exercise? Why am I doing this? I want to see what is going on in the mind, what it is up to. I am trying to understand, and ","I wonder whether my self-consciousness has a biological basis, and whether the same can be said of consciousness itself. How is it that I have this ca","a form of consciousness that's not really a 'thought'. It's a form of consciousness, but it's not a 'thought' and it's not just a 'sensory input', or","a lot of images have been put together, as a result of which, there have been new things generated, new forms and new meanings. In the process of thes","this is what I want to talk about. So far, I've been talking about what's happening in this room, what's happening to me. But I also want to talk now ","And then he's got a couple of brothers. And then the third one is the most recent one. He's the youngest of the three. He's quite a lot older, much ol","so, we are here now, in the present. And this is what's happening in the present moment: I have some experience of the mind that is happening now. So ","there's a woman here, she's a stranger, she comes in, she's trying to be more conscious of what is happening in her body, in her emotions, in her feel","It's a long time ago. There is no time here. I just am. I have a lot of thoughts in here, but there is no time. It's very difficult to put this into","it's a story I am in a state of being. I am a story and I am also being. Being is a story of being. Being, story and the story of being are not separ","a little light in my eyes and I see it coming closer, the light and I see, the light, is coming closer, I see that, it's coming closer to me, I see it","I want to look into that and see how I can make it come true. I'm interested in the other side, that other world, and that is my intuition, my true na","that is, one becomes more and more aware, and it is no longer the same thing as it was at the beginning. The body is different and it is not the same ","Now I can hear the voices from the other side, they are calling to me. I think they are the voices of my mother and my father, from my mother and fath","and if it is the truth of the whole that we wish to know, it is impossible to understand it as the truth of anything else. It is like trying to unders","I can't remember... I can't really remember, I can't even remember my own name! What is my name? What is my own name? How can I know what my own name ","I see a little blue flame, and it is moving in a very nice way. It is coming up through my heart, and the heart is in my throat, and I feel that it is","The moon, the moon, the shining, shining, the shining moon. It shines on the whole earth. And I am very glad that I am able to be here. I feel very we","there is the idea of time, I think, as an infinite straight line, in which everything that exists is. The line is in the present moment, it is a conti","it's funny to think that it's all that, there's not a single thing that I could say about the world or about life that is not an experience of mine, t","I see a square. A square is a shape that is perfectly defined by its boundary, a square is a closed shape. A shape can be described as a surface, a su","my mind is a kind of antenna ... I can take in information ... the mind is an antenna that can take in all the information of the world, of the univer","I have an idea: I should have a dog. I think that would be a great way of being a human being, because I think that it is a way of living that is very","... and there's a story of how the universe came into existence, where the universe is composed of particles of matter in which each of those particle","And if I were a god, what would I do? I have no idea, I don't think, I have no thought about that. Maybe I am one, but I don't know.","it's not that I want to know how you feel about something, it's that I want you to be aware of yourself, and what you are, and what is you, and you're","Now, I'm thinking about my son, and I'm thinking I know something that you do not know about him. I don't know what it is, but I have a sense that you","it's something that is, at that moment, that the mind is, it's something that it is. And that something that it is, that the universe is, it is not, i","I have to tell the truth about my own existence, and that's what I'm doing, but I'm also doing that by thinking out loud. And I have no control of thi","and then the world is an empty space, and the emptiness is filled with the presence of the Absolute. And the Absolute is present everywhere. So, the w","... there were words, I don't remember what they were. Words are the things which have been made into objects in the universe, into something. They ha","the great body of the universe is just a great cloud of atoms in perpetual vibration. It is not static, it is in perpetual change, and therefore, it i","so this is the end of the universe. So when the universe is coming to an end, this is the way that it comes to an end. This is the way the end of thin","the concept of the infinity. If I'm not mistaken, we have to say that the infinity is a property of all the objects. So I will say that we have to spe","that's a good thought. But what was it? What was it? I have to get to that. I have to find that. I must get to that, or I will go crazy.","... ... I'm going to say something. And this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to try to see if I can find, in this universe of words, what is true","and then I started to think, I think it's called, 'thinking'. I think that the idea of thinking is really something that I don't know. I think that I ","what I would like to do is to try and explain, from an empirical point of view, how it is that the world in which I live, is in some way more real tha","Now I think that I'm trying to make a distinction between what I mean by mind and by soul, which are two things that I'm struggling to understand. The","... ... ... ... A mind of our own, our own mind ... ... ... Our mind is not a machine. ... ... ... It's a physical organism that evolves, like a tree.","I don't want to be a mathematician, I want to be an artist. And in this sense, I want all that is mathematical to be realized in the world of art, as ","And then I realize, oh, here I am. There's no longer any 'I', there is no longer any subject. There is no 'I', and then I realize that there is no","it's like I can go on like this. It's like a kind of activity of being. There's a certain kind of activity that is going on, that's there, that is, th","I'm at a kind of neutral point where I have a kind of calmness about me and I'm aware of my physical condition and of my body, and the body has been d","I see, I feel the Earth as a whole. I see the Earth as one single entity, but there are two sides to it. I see, as a whole, the Earth. The Earth","what is this thing we call attention? Why do we have attention? What is the difference between attention and what it is to not have attention? I'm not","I know a man who was in a bad position, so I feel sorry for him. I know a man whose body has gone bad, so I try to make him better, or at least feel","[I] have been wondering recently about the nature of the mind and whether the mind is an entity or an activity. [It] is difficult to say that there ar","and when you realize that you are not you, you are something else, the mind is, the soul is, and that there is a non-physical, non-corporeal part of y","this is just a continuation, the continuation of a continuation. So you just keep following, following the train of thought and you just don't interve","[I]t is not necessarily a question of getting the meaning right. It is a question of bringing a thought into existence. And if, during this thought, a","the thing I was thinking of was, for example, the experience of the experience of thinking, which was an experience. So, there was something about it,","I was having an image of a world that was, like, a kind of a vast universe of emptiness, but not emptiness in the empty sense, but emptiness in a very","my mind is wandering to a point in my life where I was a small child, very young. And in that small child, I am aware that I'm aware that I am aware o","I know you can do this. You can do it. I want to help you. I want you to know I love you, I want you to feel safe. I know you're safe.","the air in the room seems to be breathing, it is breathing with the room and I'm feeling the energy of this space and this energy of this room is that","and in this place it feels like there's a lot more, but it's very hard to name it, because it feels like I am an observer, and it's like a space and t","and I'm here in this room and I'm going to breathe in and then I'm going to move. I'm going to change and then I feel I'm changing and then I can be w","and now you're coming into your body. You're coming into your center. It feels like you're moving to the ground, and the ground is supporting you in a","what I'm feeling is a strong desire to feel the breath. It's a physical sensation. It's not only breathing, it's something more. It's like the breath ","there was this guy who came to this party... I had a dream last night that this guy came and... I guess I was walking through a field or something. He","a feeling of connection, and a feeling of lightness, and a lot of different kinds of information coming in, and just trying to understand that, and tr","a lot of words that I want to say, but they don't come out, they are there, but they are not coming out in speech, so I have a kind of a block where I","I'm very busy with work. I'm in a rush. I'm having trouble concentrating and my thoughts are coming very fast, very fast. I'm a little bit disorganize","it's not good for people to be alone, because there's too much noise, too much information. And also we have this feeling that there's not enough time","a cloud, a cloud, that's so interesting. Clouds are interesting, I like the clouds. I feel like clouds, like my heart is a cloud, so light, so expansi","and so, the mind is wandering. And I don't know where it's going, and it's going somewhere that's very interesting. And then it's going back. It's lik","I'm just going to sit in this position, and I'm going to try to think about something. I'm going to see what comes up. I'm just noticing that I'm rela","the whole world is changing and everything that's happening. The whole world is a very interesting place. And there are so many things that I'm intere","I can't believe you're going through this... You're so busy... I need you to stop for a second, just a second and think about how you are doing. You d","[thought] what I just thought was a conversation that we had with the children. What I'm thinking is that, you know, you have your body here and there","I'm in a place where there's a lot of light...I'm in some sort of forest. There's a lot going on. I'm not really conscious of it, but there's a","[sound of rain falling on the roof]. Oh, the sound of the rain. It's coming down like a fine mist. I'm in a very calm state of mind. I feel very at","And I'm wondering. Well, it's been a very strange feeling, and I'm wondering if it has anything to do with what the body is telling me, and how the bo","I feel like I'm having a good time. I'm having this experience of a lot of light, and a lot of energy. And the sensation of light that I'm receiving f","I am looking at an image of an octopus. It's the same image that I had the other day. I'm looking at that image of an Octopus, and it's really an imag","there's a lot of darkness, and the darkness is not dark because of the lack of light. It is dark because of the presence of light. There are layers of","and a little bit of a cold and a little bit hot and then cold and then hot and then warm and then a little bit cool and then warm again and then cool ","there's a way I'm seeing these lines that are really like these waves of light that are spreading out. And there's something in the middle of these li","the little girl ... is lying down ... there's a little girl lying on a bed ... a little girl on the bed ... a light shining down on her ... a light ..","The sound is moving...the sound of a stream moving, or...or something like the sound of the sea...and that's moving in a circular way...like a wave in","I'm looking at the black background and the yellow lines. It looks like it's making a spiral, as if I'm trying to follow that spiral. And then I see s","and this is my hand and my heart is also here and there, there's also the heart. It's like a heart and a hand and a brain. They are all moving and rot","a lot of time, it's difficult to know what is going on inside one's mind. It's difficult to make distinctions between one's own consciousness, the con","a little, little, little bit of darkness. And then as I become more aware, the light becomes less and less, and then it becomes a point, and then as t","the hand on the left is on the right and the hand on the right is on the left and there is some sort of movement involved and then this other thing is","a shadow of a tree in the water. I can see a shadow of the tree, in the water, as if it were reflected in the water ... but I don't see the tree as it","a very nice light, a very nice color, like a pink. I'm not sure how it relates, but the pink light has something to do with a feeling of... of well-be","I have this feeling of a sense of lightness and freedom, which is the first time that I feel it like that. I think it is a very positive feeling. It i","the images of the self in the room are images of myself, and I have to put them together to make sense of me, and there's a part of me that is a holog","a plane of vibration. A kind of body of vibration. It's a plane, it's a kind of body. It's like a kind of structure, a plane of structure. A kind of","It's like a wave coming and going, like an ocean, I don't know, there's a rhythm, I don't think it's random. ... It's like in a wave of sound","there's something which is quite difficult for me to perceive, and I have a tendency to look for the place where I find myself to be, where I am at th","and it's almost like in the dark, we are like the stars, we have an inherent power, we don't need any other source of light or energy, it is part of o","it was like a foggy, dreamy feeling, it was kind of hard to see what was going on, and it felt like there was a layer of fog between the world and mys","the feeling of being watched, of being seen. It's like a movie that is played, but it's not in front of you. You feel that you're being seen. You feel","the speed with which it came and went was like the speed of the thought itself. As the thought came into consciousness it seemed to be part of some ba","so I am here. And I have just started to think, that this is a little bit interesting, but it's also a little bit scary, because I know that I can thi","so that, even though I'm not doing anything, my consciousness is not just a blank sheet of paper. But it's just a blank canvas. It's empty, it's just ","you are a little bit worried, and a little bit bored, and you're looking forward to something and not looking forward to it. It's like a half way poin","I think the time is short. The time is short and everything is coming to an end. And everything that's happening now is just the preparation for the e","[A]lmost a new life was born, [the] body [and] everything [in the world] came to life, everything was in the process of renewal. There's something tha","The third thought: the last time I was on the floor with a body, the floor was a different floor. I was lying down and a body was lying on me, and a b","I was trying to get an idea of how to go about the experiment, how to set it up, and I realized that what I was doing was being driven by a desire to ","my feet were moving, and then I noticed that I was sitting and that there was a thought that I was not aware of. I am not aware of the thought. I am a","[I see] the person in front of me as a transparent window through which I see the other person. And this other person is like an internal, personal mi","I'm doing this because it seems like a good way for me to have some direct experience of the way in which my experience of being present is related to","[A]h, yes, right, I feel like the connection with myself, but that connection with myself is not one thing, it's many different connections that are a","there is a lot of content in my thoughts. I see this, and it's not just the content of thoughts, but the form of thought. It's a lot of different form","and now, suddenly, I have this idea, that it is this, this, the fact of being a mother and a father that, that is the only way that I can relate to th","It's not about what we can't know, what is hidden, it's about what we do know, what we experience. So the question then is not 'what do I know?' becau","and I have been thinking about a lot of different things that I have been doing over the last few months and the past few years, I've been doing a lot","I am seeing a beautiful woman right now. I am seeing the colors, the texture of the dress, the color of her eyes. I am in a room with her. I have the ","it's hard to explain it, you know, so much of the mind is so open, and the mind is really about that, about the mind. The mind is a very interesting p","the goal is to allow the body to experience the nature of the mind, the nature of thought, the nature of perception and attention and to experience th","the only thing that I am certain of is that I don't know anything. That's the only thing I am certain. And if I don't know, how can I possibly know ab","I've always thought that I could think of it in the future. I could do this and that. I could create a world, and it's really simple. But how could I ","And what is it that is causing you to worry? It's not fear or a physical reaction. What is it that's causing you to experience anxiety, fear, panic, o","The process of creation is like a movie, where the script is the form. The script is like the outline or the set-up, but the actual process of creatio","there's a word I want to use, I'm trying to figure out how to say it. So it's not so much just a word as a process and a state of being. That's","I don't know if that was a thought, if that was an action, if that's an observation, if that is a feeling, if it's a prediction, if it is a representa","I know it's not very deep, but what if... What if... What is it that makes me know something? What is it... I have a lot of feelings that I don't unde","I can't think about this, because there's too much going on. I can't do it right now, I'll just stop. I'll just think about something else. I have no ","[I]t's the way you want to look at the universe. Like when you go to a museum or something, you're not just taking in the painting, but you're actuall","I was thinking about the problem of getting from here to the next state and then I had a flash and I was like, 'oh, I remember something, I remember t","so I'm trying to think about the ways that I think about the things that I do, and the things that come up, and the ways that the things that came up ","you know, I was thinking about how much I love it, just when you have some really good thoughts, really creative thoughts, that you want to share, you","I am thinking about the sky, and the way that I'm a lot of different things and that's why I see the sky. The sky has a lot of meaning for me, and it'","I can remember looking at some pictures, and it was the first time in my life when I saw this image that I recognized, that I could see the difference","I am also... I'm thinking about... I'm remembering that I don't feel well... I don't know what it is, but I feel really tired. So I think I'll just ha","And I have that feeling that I want to explore with others, because it is not only the space and the time that is important for me but also how others","it feels like you have to have an emotional experience in order to have a cognitive experience, but you can also have a cognitive experience without t","I can see the person in front of me, in this situation, and they are having a conversation and then I can see it and I can be in their shoes, I can be","I'm looking at the sky, and I see these lines of light. It's like a watercolor painting. But then I'm thinking: what is this, what is this about? So I","and that's good. Now, what's that? How does that relate to me? I'm not sure. But it seems like that's the first thing that comes to mind. So, it","I'm thinking about what the video's about. I think the video's trying to make people feel more relaxed or more present or aware. I wonder what is the ","I was wondering, I'm looking around the world right now and I'm also looking around me and I'm thinking, 'what are the things that I'm feeling and wha","I'm thinking of things I have to do later. I'm trying to think of what I can do, and there are some things I want to do, and I feel like I'm going to","I'm really like this, I'm really like, you know, the other day, I was, I was thinking, I was reading something that said that it's, I don't know,","And then I have a very interesting question, and I think about the question, and then I see I'm starting to think about a question. What is the questi","the thought of doing the experiment in my mind, that was the intention. I didn't write it down. I just had the idea of writing it down. It's like a th","I'm really curious to find out what the outcomes are of this study. I'm hoping that they can help me in understanding some of the limitations of my ow","I'm working on a blog, and I've been thinking a lot about my blog, because it's a way to improve my writing, but also to communicate something, and I'","the more we develop our awareness of this process, we become aware of how this information is being processed in our brain. How the brain is processin","And I've got to find a way to find more ways of being with people. To be with people, not just with a goal. The goal is important, but the process is ","it's the thing, it's the thing that comes up from the deeper layers of the brain, which is like a part of the subconscious and unconscious. It's somet","I feel like there's a little bit of me that's coming to the surface that I'm not aware of, that I have a sense of not being fully integrated. I feel l","[s]treaming into my awareness are many feelings, many thoughts. It's like an ocean of feelings. I feel in a way, like a vast sea of feelings. It's an","what I have on the board. And I am drawing the attention, I think, to the way we construct the world. It's like a model that we use. And then it becom","I'm a bit frustrated that I'm not very good at thinking about what's going on in my own body. I feel it's very clear, but it's difficult to articulate","thinking about all the things that are happening around me and then just my awareness and trying to observe, like just what is happening to me, and so","and it's like this: it's a bit like a story. It's not so much an idea as it's a story. So a story is, like, a memory. A memory is","I'm getting to a certain point. I feel like I have to check whether the content that I'm processing is correct and, at the same time, it feels as if I","I've been thinking about how difficult it is for a person who is in the process of falling into a deep coma to be able to make sense of what's happeni","I'm experiencing a sense of a deep sense of a stillness... I'm feeling this feeling that I've experienced before in the context of meditation, and I'm","the reason I'm talking right now is because it's actually a good thing for my well-being to have the time and space to do this and I'm experiencing th","I have to think about how to respond to [my client] in a way that doesn't trigger her to have a full-blown panic attack. And I know what's triggering ","I'm thinking about the other night when you asked me if I would ever feel like my partner and I were partners. I really didn't have that feeling then,","I'm doing this at home alone. I'm not really doing it with anybody. I'm in this very intimate relationship with myself. I'm very still. I'm quiet. I'm","I'm going to be with you... I'm going to try to be more present for you in the future, to be more available. And I'm going to try, and I think it's","I am thinking about... about the life and the challenges and the questions, the... the questions that are part of... I wonder what I want to know and ","I'm gonna write a book about this. I want to write a book because I want to share what I'm feeling with you. Because it's hard to say out loud some of","I remember I have some other thoughts that I can just go with the flow and see where it takes me. I have some memories I can go to, some ideas, some p","I have a feeling I have just passed through a small cave and I have a lot of images of light coming in from the cave and that light is really warming,","And I remember there is one person who I haven't talked to in a few weeks, I think that might have been like a month ago or something like that, and I","my mind is now busy with... some memories... from 15 years ago that... have a little bit of a negative aspect to them. I don't know why they were nega","and the woman was just smiling to herself, and she was like, 'you know, I'm not really sure how that happened.' And then I thought, 'this is not my br","it's always this like a heavy, you know, feeling like a heavy weight on me, it's like I'm drowning or something. And it's also like there's this this ","I see the city as this kind of place where all things are possible. And yet, it's also a very tight, controlled, highly engineered space. So, in a way","[t]he word, the feeling, the sensation, the image that I feel, the physical sensation is of this space of the body and that space of the head, and the","it feels like a bit of a rush of emotion. Like a bit of the way I'm feeling is coming out of my brain in a kind of a flow state, which I guess is what","And so, I'm thinking of this, this kind of thought process and I'm kind of putting a word to it, thinking that this is the kind of thought processes I","this idea of a god of the future. I'm wondering how this god of the future, who is a spiritual being, has access to a future state of consciousness an","It's all in the brain. I've always thought this was the most interesting thing. If you think about it, it's the brain itself which creates all that. A","I think about all the people that are in this room right now, and I'm thinking, I'm thinking about you, I'm seeing your face, I'm trying to connect wi","I am a person who is here in the world and my mind is in a constant state of motion, even if I am sitting here and not moving. I am moving. It's as if","it's actually a lot easier to do it in that way, with closed eyes because if I'm awake, it's still like I have an inner monologue. That is what I call","the state that I'm in, if I don't have anything to do I become really passive. I'll just be thinking about the past or the future, and I'll just let m","you know that I am having an experience that is being translated by the language into the English language... because of the fact that we are having t","And now the question arises, is this the actual state of consciousness that the practitioner is in when practicing Zen meditation? This is a difficult","So the point is that we have a whole series of mechanisms, which are associated with different kinds of attention, which are available to us at any pa","I have some thoughts about the importance of what I am experiencing right now. In the beginning, I experienced my thoughts as a kind of separate entit","a feeling of joy, of happiness, of well-being. I feel good. I feel love. I feel pleasure. I feel joy. I feel warmth. I feel my body. I feel light","It was like an experience. So then it's like a visual image of, like, a... a flash of an idea. And then it was like a visual, so I have these images,","and I'm not sure which of these I'm going to do or what I'm going to use it for, but I'm sure I'm going to be very, very lucky, very lucky to","The idea that I need to go through these different types of activity is so important, and also, it's very important for me to go through my body, beca","I've been having thoughts that the person who I am most intimate with is the one who I feel is my twin soul, or my other half, or whatever you want to","and I have a memory of a dream, you know, that I had when I was 16 years old. It was a very vivid dream where I had this huge body, and my arms","so that, in a way, the fact that the other people are there, is actually the obstacle to me being there, so it's very important to have the right grou","and what I really think about is that we are not very good at that, in the sense of having a clear plan about the next 2, 3 years or the next 10 years","I was thinking of a famous painting by Goya called Saturn devouring a child. It was the last painting before his paintings became a little more realis","that's not bad. We're a very busy society today, we have many problems. It's quite normal for a person to be more worried about a job and career, a pe","I'm on the path of a career path...that is a very long road and I'm very sure that the road will have obstacles. And I can't guarantee that everything","the light is really coming, as if we are getting closer to a true self, a true self that is more authentic, that is more genuine, that is less of a co","you know, it's all very interesting, what comes out of the mind, but what about the mind itself? What's going on when you're lying there and you don't","myself as a thought, my thoughts, and my thoughts as thoughts. The thoughts which I am having now, the thoughts which I have had in the past, the thou","And then I imagine myself in the world of my life in the present moment. I'm just very open and receptive to what's happening. I have a sense that the","my mind wanders and then it wanders and I get into a situation where there's nothing going on, but the body is still there, and I feel as if I'm still","I'm in the middle of a lot of things that are going on. I'm going to have a lot of thoughts. There's a lot of chatter. And there's a lot going on in","and the next thought is what my body's feeling and what my body wants at this moment, so my body wants to rest right now. I want to rest. I'm exhauste","And so the last time I thought that there is some way that the whole, you know, that the universe has a structure, but that there are these cracks tha","I feel like I have been living a kind of existence. There was an early period of childhood when I was quite confused about what is life and what is de","and I remember it because of this, because of what I do and I want to do. So in a way, I'm an optimist because I know that there is a possibility for ","my body is an energy that has the function of protecting, containing, and supporting my consciousness. But it also has other functions that are of a m","it's a bit of a feeling that I know I have but I don't know how to describe it. It's a feeling of, I don't know, it's a feeling that everything is","It's like being a god, is what that feels like. You're really connected to everything that's going on in your body. You're also connected to everythin","I'm very confused right now. I feel like there is some underlying problem, a blockage, some kind of barrier to understanding, and that there is some k","the world is made of nothing, and that there is no nothing. But nothing and there is no nothing are also nothing. Nothing has a form. There is no form","The whole of existence is a dream; it is nothing but a dream. The dreamer is the dreamer; the dreamer is that which dreams the dream; the dream is the","[t]his is a thought, and it is not a thought because it is a thought. It is a thought because of itself. If it was a thought, it would be an image of","I've had a lot of thoughts about the same subject for the last several hours. I don't know whether this is just a single thought or if it's a number o","there are people, and we are talking about them, we are talking about the world, but it's always coming from our own point of view. We are all involve","I'm seeing this circle of light and I see a light and I'm wondering what that is. I see a sphere of light, and I'm seeing this sphere of light and it'","you know, it's a way for people to learn about each other. It's a way to communicate. I don't know, it just kind of feels like, this is a very profoun","this is a way of thinking I can be like. I can be able to be this way in my own being, so that I'm not stuck in the way of the duality, stuck in","the presence of the other. I see how it is happening, I can see how the other is happening, itโ€™s happening through my heart. And I can see itโ€™s happen","And there are people who, when they hear this, they want to say, well, I'm not so good at this, so I'm going to stop trying. And I'm going to try","the same thing that is happening to my body, or the same thing I experience through my body, is also happening to my consciousness. So my experience o","And then my mind gets distracted by, or, by a thought process, or a series of thoughts, and I go back into my past memories and that's where I go into","and I'm doing that right now. I'm doing this thing that's been going on for 35 years, and it's going to be completely different and completely differe","my eyes are open and I'm in bed. I feel that I'm in the room, but I don't have that sensation of being inside. I have the sensation of being a whole b","I'm just listening to the sound, the sounds of my breath in my chest, and the sound of my heartbeat. And the sound of the heartbeat is in my head. And","the voice is coming out of my head, it's not coming from somewhere else, but from within. And it's also not coming from the mouth, or from the ears, o","this is a very rich state. Itโ€™s like a landscape, a sea, an ocean. Itโ€™s very fluid, itโ€™s like a river, and you feel the currents and the waves and the","I'm here, I am here, I'm here in this room, and I'm here with myself. And I'm here. And I can just be here. And all I do is here","you know, I'm going to keep doing this and then I think that there's going to come a time when my awareness is very different from the way it is now. ","a tree, a tree that has fallen and is on the ground and the roots have split, and the branches have fallen, and it's a place of stillness, a place whe","[I'm thinking] the name of a book I read called 'The Lost Word' by William J. Higton. ... it was a beautiful book, it was the essence of an ecology","this is a book, and this is an idea, this is a way of seeing life. And there's something about this experience that is very deep, but you don't have t","I'm feeling kind of sad right now, and I'm looking up at the stars and I'm seeing a whole bunch of light, and I see a lot of darkness and I'm just let","what's important for me to realize? Is that I need to feel... what's happening in my body, and what's happening... in my life, in my relationships wit","I am making a mistake with my partner, which is an easy mistake, and I'm making a mistake about my partner, and the mistake is that I am always trying","I'm feeling very calm. I feel like my mind is quiet. I have no thoughts, I don't know what to say. I'm not even sure what I'm saying. I don't","a moment in the past. That's interesting. A memory. A memory of something. Of an experience of something. So much of the time, we are caught in this t","this is how we are all of us, I'm not a separate being but an aspect of the whole. I'm not the subject of a story, I'm the story. And there is a","I am really interested in the flow of energy, and the feeling that I have a very close relationship with the universe, and with my body, with the eart","this is a dream. There is no separation between this and that. The idea that I am separate from my body, and my body is separate from this dream is si","I've just remembered something, I'm starting to feel something that's really strange. I'm not sure what it is, it feels like a big presence in a space","And you are able to experience and to see that you are not this mind, that the mind is not you. You are the underlying ground of mind. You are like th","it's not the end, that's what I mean. We are all in the process of being. It's just the process. There is no beginning and there is no end, because it","and the flow of my mind is as a stream which can take the form of a river or a torrent, but the direction of this flow of mind is not the same as the ","the word that came into mind was 'reality', and then I thought about what it means to say that we live in reality. We know that the brain creates the ","I think I'm experiencing a state of conscious awareness, where everything is present at once, as though all of my senses were experiencing all the pos","that it's so exciting to go back to this space, this consciousness, this awareness of the body, and this awareness of form, of colour, of the interpen","I know this is a dream. This is my body. This is the body that is in front of me. There is a lot of different information, I know there is, and I know","I was a little nervous... I was about to enter the place and was anxious that something might go wrong. I didn't know what would go wrong. If I just f","the space I'm in, or the space that I'm not in... the space that's not in. Space that's not, is not space. The space of being and non-being, is","the sound of the wind, which I hear from deep inside of me and from the outer world; it is a very rich and complex sound, and I feel its presence all ","I'm standing in this place. I have a body here, and it's not me, not this me that's looking in. There's a field of light, a field of consciousness in ","my brain is making a big sound in my head and it's a noise that I have never heard before in my life, and it's very painful, and it is very, very impo","[I] have just felt an image, which was a little like a sensation, a sensation of the brain and then it was a memory, a memory of a time, of an event. ","I know that there are many things in the world, and the thing that I am looking for is to understand the essence of a thing. It seems to me that there","And I am just there, and the experience is so powerful, and then suddenly it is gone again and there's nothing. And I can't understand it, that is a b","the door closes. You've come home. But it's not the same. It's as if it's been opened and you're inside. But it doesn't feel like a home, but it","the present moment, a field of energy that is the totality of experience. It is the totality. It is beyond the totality, without limits. It is infinit","there is a body here, a body with its own experience and history, and it is also a body within the world, in the cosmos, in the universe, and the worl","the movement of thought in my consciousness is continuous. It is never a linear chain. It has a different character, which we can describe as being ma","the fact that there are differences in the way that the mind works in the different states that one can be in, and that these different states can be ","what kind of existence is there? Well, I'm in a state of rest, in a state in which the brain is doing nothing, a state of non-action, of no-action. So","and I'm thinking, well, it's like that's what we're doing with our children, isn't it, that we're just making them so accustomed to doing, thinking, s","a bird flying in a circle, then up, up, up and over my head, then down, down, down and back again, over my head and in the circle, and then up,","a picture of the brain with an arrow pointing to the heart and then to the lungs, and then to various parts of the body and organs. And the heart has ","and I'm feeling that in the here and now, in the here right now, I'm actually connected to something bigger than myself, and it's the thing that I've ","I'm the only one who knows me and knows that. And it's like a box which I can open and I can get to the inner parts, and I can reach the deeper parts ","[i]t's like I'm an actor and I'm an actress. I'm like an actor, and I'm like a director. And I'm like someone who is watching something... something","I'm just going to think about this thing and the way that I think it feels, and the way the image feels...it feels like...it's very warm, like...warm ","I've been thinking about the story about the blind man. And the blind man, the other blind man, and the other blind. It's something about the blind an","I'm thinking about a man with a red hat ... he's walking through a field of white flowers... the man's hand reaches out to touch the flowers... the fl","the voice, like a wind that is invisible, penetrates me. I see, I hear, I feel and I am moved. The voice has entered me, it is in me. I am","and this is what I say to myself now: I have to get my head round the word 'conscious'. What is 'conscious' about, what do I know to be conscious, wha","[I am] in a situation where I see a figure with the body of a man and the head of a bird. [I] think it's the angel of the lark. But the","a big tree. ... the trunk of the tree. ... I can see a branch. ... a branch of a tree. ... a leaf, a leaf, the leaves of the tree, the leaves","I know you can't see me, but I have a form. The form is the shape that I take when I am in the world. And you know, I see the form and then I","then the idea of the boat comes to me ... like a ... little bird ... but it's a boat ... a boat ... so I'm sitting on this boat ... a little boat, jus","[a]ny kind of sound can be produced...the sound of a voice, or a voice in the mind, or a song in the mind...that sound can be a kind of light...","I think my head is spinning...I want to talk about music, music, music...I'm talking about music...I've been sitting here thinking...I'm going to star","a boy sitting on a mountain, just standing there, in a pose, a static pose, and he's playing a guitar and he's just playing, and he plays the guitar i","you see a vision of a fish, that's the image that you see of a fish. The fish is moving, and you hear the sound, the vibration of the fish as it moves","my little bird, the little bird is coming up from below, up from the ocean... I see it's coming to meet me... there is the ocean. It's coming up throu","I am so tired. I feel I have to get up and move. I can't sit still. I am restless. I have to move. I am a machine. I am a plant,","... the head is spinning, like in the head spinning movie that I saw once. The head is spinning so that you can't really look around, you're looking a","I don't really know...I don't know...I'm going to draw a picture...I'm a painter, I'm a painter. I'm a dancer, I'm dancing. I'm","it's a way to say you don't have to be there to be there. I'm not talking about the body, I'm talking about the heart and the head and the body all in","you know, that is why I can't explain it, that is, what it is, but the reason is, the reason, the reason why it is like that, because, because, but","the flower of life...a circle, and a circle, and within it's a circle. It's a flower, a flower, and a flower and a flower... it's a flower of life","this is an example of a thought, that is a very small idea, very small, tiny, that is coming into the room, and I see it, like a little piece of gold,","[a] [s]mall white line, which is not moving, and then it slowly turns and grows, into a small, long, dark line, and it moves out of my brain.","this is the point where we see that, this is the point, this is, we have to think about this, this is a point of intersection, this is an intersection","it's not the same as an empty field. In fact, the same as a blank sheet of paper, but the blank sheet of paper is just that: a blank sheet, but the em","and the blue sky is also inside of the star. It is a star but not a star. It's just an image. And the red sky is the same. The yellow sky is the same","I'm an artist who uses her thoughts as paint, and her feelings as color. Her mind as the canvas. Her soul as the brush. Her will as the paint roller. ","the word 'spill' is the verb for the verb 'to spill' the action is the verb 'spill'. There's a sound of a glass or a mug being filled with liquid,","then the green one, it's a green circle and it's the second circle. Oh, yes, the green one is a green circle. I want to change the size of this green ","And there's a thing that's got a little bit of a crack in it, and it's half full and half empty. And it's like a rainbow, and the rainbow's like an op","And I can see myself in the mirror, in this mirror...I'm just a bit of a light, but a little light, and I can't see myself in a little bit of light,","now I see a tree ... I don't know what it is. It's a tree with flowers on it, and it's green, and it has a red colour. I can't remember what","what's that thing I always get confused with and you know it's there in front of you, you just don't see it because you see it so well and I forget to","I see a door in my mind's eye. It's a beautiful door and it's very small and very round and I can go through it. I can go into the other world and I'm","the child, the child in me... the child that I was, is still here. It is not gone. It is here, and I can touch it. It is as real as I am","I'm so happy to be able to see, to hear. I feel all my senses are awake. My memory is like a picture. It's a beautiful picture, full of life, and ther","and then I'm thinking about the beautiful blue of the ocean and how I used to dream about flying in the air with it, and the ocean in my arms. And I w","I am so happy. I'm in a beautiful world that I made for myself. It's so lovely. I'm flying, but not just flying, I'm living in it, like a flower","the door is shut and the birds fly in from the window and I hear the birds, the birds and the wind and I'm sitting in a tree in the rain, in the rain ","and then they take the big blade and they put it in the air. And then it starts to snow. And then the sky starts to turn dark and then it turns bright","the sun rises, and it is beautiful. There is a small bird and it flies and flies and flies... and then, the wind comes, and the bird sings and it flie","the earth, the earth is falling in on itself, falling down into the sky. Falling. Falling. It's a black sky falling. And the sun is falling in. And th","I see my house in the distance, a small blue house in the center of the country. I was born there, and there I will die. It is a beautiful place, but ","The person who is most interested in the world. That's you and me, all the time, it's been going on and on, all the way back to the beginning. The beg","I'm here. I'm here now. I'm on a bed. This is a bed, I see. It's a big bed. It's very soft. It's the bed of a","it's like there are different levels of my consciousness and I'm exploring them. The outer level is where I see myself as I really am. It's a blank fi","now I see that I'm still sitting with my eyes closed. I see nothing. I feel my feet on the ground. The world is a ball, the Earth is a ball. I am sitt","my body was the mirror of my mind... all of the time I was in the center of my body, and I was seeing my body, from within, from the center of it, and","And I see the river of water, flowing, and I feel the water inside me and the water is moving. It's like a river of water. It's not only the water but","there is a way of getting to know the world, to know it more deeply, by using your inner eye to go into the world, and to look at things as they are i","but there are no objects of consciousness. Consciousness is nothing but a moment-to-moment passing through itself. Consciousness has no objects, nor d","but I have the feeling that I am in a strange land, and it is not my own. ... I am a traveler, I am in another place. ... But I know this land, I","and in my mind I saw a city. It was an ancient city of gold. And the sun was a red ball, shining from the horizon, and it was so hot that it was burni","this is like a song or music ... I'm standing in a hall of a great palace, and the great door is opened, and I enter into the palace. I go into a beau","this is a lovely little room, very lovely. And it is very quiet. And I can see the mountains, the beautiful mountains in the distance. And I see a lon","I see the sun rising over the water, the sun rises over the water and a boat sailing through the water, and I see a sail. It's a small boat, I see the","my head's so still and my thoughts have quieted. It's as if there are no thoughts left. I look and see the sky and there is nothing but a sky, with no","I wonder what's in the world, what's there? Well, it's a bit of a maze of things. A maze of thoughts, of sounds, of images. Like a maze of dreams","I want to go there, to a place where I can live. Where the people can live. I don't want to see it happen again, what has happened to the city, and th","And I've been thinking about all these things, and now I am thinking about the things I never thought about, that I've forgotten, but I am not forgett","And when I was going to sleep, I thought I would ask you a question. Would you be willing to tell me that you love me?... You love me and you know tha","you have to keep in mind that, at that time, you did not know that I would write this, or that I had written it, that you had seen it, that it was rea","I was born in a dark and beautiful night in 1924. I'm a man, and I'm an old man. I don't know how old I am, but I am","the sense of my being and the sense of my destiny. I am an atom which is in a star. This is an eternal truth. And we are not human. We are the atoms o","and I know that they are right. And I want to know where they are. And I have no idea of their location. It is something like this... They are in my h","the sun, in the summer, rises and shines upon the world, and I see it. In the winter, the sun sets and darkness falls upon the world. I do not see it,","I am a thought, I am a memory, I am the word...I am the memory of the word...and I am a word...and a word is a memory...and the memory is","this is what I'm thinking. I have a feeling of the future of my being, the future of the world, of the universe, of life, of God. It's very beautiful,","I have a good memory, but I do not remember anything very clearly, like the Chinese. I remember the general meaning, and not the particular forms of w"],["and this is the most wonderful thing that is, the fact that the universe is composed of a conscious being, who has the ability to choose between all t","so the things that have happened are real, but the things that are going to happen haven't happened yet so they're not real. They're possibilities. It","the right hand of the father. I'm in a right hand of a father. I could be in a right of a mother's left hand. That's the right hand. I've got to","and she just says: 'Oh, I've been a fool!' and then she says 'Oh, why did I ever come back to you? Why did I ever leave you?'...and I","the dark cloud of death and disease that I'm seeing on TV, on the papers, that is beginning to enclose my family's life, and it's beginning to enclose","and the little baby with the little white hat is coming down the street... the little baby in the little white cap. I am going to give you a little wh","I thought, I think you should be the one to pick a date. I think you are the only one I could trust. It's like, you know, a date like you would take t","I see my hands on the arm of the chair, I see the floor. I am on the floor. Oh, I am on top of you. I'm on top of the floor. No","I feel like a fool. I feel like an idiot. I feel that I am a complete fool. And I do. I feel foolish. I feel as if I have been betrayed. I feel","I'll get all this stuff I need, all the tools, all the stuff I need to start this thing, and then I'll go back and I'll come to you again. That's the","and then he saw the little girl with the beautiful blue dress and the pretty hat...oh...and there was a tree, and some bushes, and the house with the ","I remember when I was little, and we used to go to the market and we used to pick the flowers. I remember, and my mother always used to say, 'Don't pi","I can see a train. It's a steam train with a big smokestack. It's going to be a summer holiday. We'll go down to the sea and see a fish and catch it","I think I've got my watch. Oh no I haven't. Oh dear. Oh I'm afraid I've lost it. I was sure it wasn't gone. But I'm sure I've","but I was just thinking, 'I wonder how many people there are in the world that are just like me, you know? I wonder how many?' I can't think of any. I","I was in the park with the children, and a boy had come up to me with his ball. He tried to kick it in a particular direction, and it hit the wall and","I was thinking about the man who lives next door, who's always taking his car for a wash in the big paddock. I think he's got a Ford Capri or somethin","and I want to put my hands in the bath, and I'm just wondering whether they'll be all dirty, or all wet and clean. Well, I think I shall get them all ","you can't wait to hear all about it, can you. And I don't want to go to bed, not yet. I wish I could stay here all night and have the big dinner in","I thought it was just as well that the one thing that he said he was going to do was go and get himself another job, because he might not have done it","and I could make a phone call to my mother and ask her if she wants the children to go to the zoo, and then we could take a look at the animals and th","I was wondering if the sun is bigger than the moon? And I thought about if they are the same distance from the Earth. And I wondered why there was a g","a bunch of boys and girls were having a party. They all wanted to play a game. They said, 'How about the big game?' 'Okay,' they said. So they all got","oh, I'm in my room. I'm wearing my pants, my shirt, my sweater, my shoes. And it's getting really hot in here, and I need to take off my sweater","and I don't know why...it's the same as with the...the other ones, the other ones. You know, like the ones with the...with the...the...the ones with","I just thought of... a... a... [starts to say something, then stops] [pause] I was thinking about how my sister has a dog. [pause] and the dog is whit","and I think about...I think about...that was really good I like that I really like that because...I don't know...I think maybe...maybe...maybe...I thi","And I've got to go out and get a haircut, but I've got a lot of stuff to do. I got a big pile of clothes to wash. I got to go to work tomorrow","my friend said, you know, like a movie, and you know what I said? I said, it's not a movie, it's a show, and she said, no, it's","I got the recipe for my dad's banana pudding. I put the banana slices in a bowl with some milk and some sugar, and then I stirred them together. Then ","I remember the way I used to walk around my old neighborhood. It was like a real neighborhood. It wasn't like this one. It was very quiet and really n","I don't think you're supposed to write those words down, do you, and I think there's supposed to be a pencil in the book, but it's not here. I don't h","And the reason is it's a pretty big thing and I mean it's really a big deal. It's kind of a big thing, because I can't believe it's the only thing I c","and uh you know it's like the one where the the the man with the dog is getting the dog washed and then the dog gets the water and the dog gets dirty ","well, i think that if it was in a hot car and you went to start the car and then it just went like that like that then you would probably go to your m","I just can't do this, this thing here. I'll just take that off. I'll go put on a new one. I've got a box full of them here. I'm not","you know, this is what I was thinking about when I was driving home from the gym. It was all my shoes that were all the same. You know I want to take ","and then I put them in the car and I just got my baby seat and I just put it on the seat and then I just put the car seat in the trunk and I just open","the back door has two locks on it. The bathroom door, I forgot, is a door with two locks on the side. The two locks are on the side of the bathroom do","I think of this place. I think of that place where we lived before I moved in. And I think about that place where I met you. I think I could be wearin","I was reading about how to make a rope out of a cord. Then I got stuck on how to do it, so I looked up my cord on the computer. Then I looked up how t","[I was thinking about] like, my brother's birthday or something [and I was wondering] what I'm gonna wear, like, my shirt with the socks [and] maybe t","um ... I don't know ... um ... um ... my friend just called and she said she was in the hospital and she was really upset and ... I don't think she's ","it's like a long one. Like the first one. And then it's like I was driving, and it's like it's at night and I'm at like 2 or something, like","so this is going to be a good weekend. I don't have anything else on, I just have my daughter's birthday party and then she's going to be sleeping ove","yeah so I don't really like going to the movies... um i don't know what's up with that i think that I like going to like the drive ins and the theater","like in my dream, that was like a dream... [long pause] oh my god, what's the best way to describe it. Oh god, oh my god! [long pause]. I","i've never actually made a new outfit or anything before, but i think i'd be good at it. and i would be very good at it because i do have a sewing mac","I'm thinking about a picture I took of my dogs playing in the grass, and I'm thinking how they look cute but they look like a bunch of dogs but it's n","I feel like I'm wearing a belt that is too tight... I don't have enough pants, so I'm wearing 4 pairs... I'm trying to think of the next word in the s","oh my goodness, you know that I would not have done this if I was here, but you know I had to, I had to because you know I like them like, I don't kno","just, I'm just thinking, I'm thinking about...I don't know, I just want to say I'm not hungry. I'm just...I'm thinking about, like, if I","and my aunt's name is what I need. I'm trying to think of her name, she's in the family with my mom but she's not my mom. So what's her name?","oh that's what i'm gonna do this weekend i'm gonna make my mom a gift card to make her buy me something and then i'm gonna go buy a gift card and then","itโ€™s the first time iโ€™ve ever seen a bunny. iโ€™ve seen pictures, but iโ€™ve never seen the real thing. my sister used to have a bunny, but she had a bad ","I think I'm going to go home right now. I'm not really tired, but it's been a long day and I'm getting really thirsty. I think I might just grab a coo","Iโ€™m trying to think of a movie that was like this that I saw a few months ago. I remember there was some girl that had a little sister that had a big ","I had this dream the other day where I was in the bathroom and I was trying to brush my teeth and I could not get the toothpaste off my toothbrush and","I wonder why I don't get my period yet. I'm 20 weeks pregnant, right? I guess it's just because I'm pregnant and I don't know. I'm also on","oh, and I have to do my hair now...so, my mom and I went to the movie theater the other day and we saw The Secret Life of Pets... and then she saw the","And I thought, like, I don't know what to do for my birthday. And I thought, I should ask my parents. And then I thought, they might have something pl","so I'm thinking about my sister who I haven't seen in a long time, and then I'm like 'what's the last thing we did together?' And then I think of the ","I was just thinking about how my friend and I went to a pizza party last week. I was trying to figure out why I didn't feel like going to it. It's bee","and I was just thinking about that and then I thought about like, how would you make this a movie? like you could like make a movie of this, like mayb","this is the first time i've gone on a hike since last year...we went on a hike on the 4th of july and it was so fun...i want to go back with","my dog, he's the biggest dog in the world, he's so big he can't fit in the car, he's like a little elephant... and he's really smart, he knows a","I think that I'm going to start writing a book. I think that it's going to be about like, you know, like, I don't know, like a like, you know like","a 314 degrees [?] Fahrenheit? Is that how hot it is in New York City right now? No, it's not that hot. I don't think so. It's not","[laughing] I think about my dog. She's like a little puppy and she's like a big puppy and she's just like a big dog. I think about her. She's","I remember going to my friend's house and she was like, 'Do you have a bike?' And I was like, no I don't. And she was like that's cool, but you","and I'm so tired of it all, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. But I feel so much better, like a brand new me. I don't know what happened, but I","Iโ€™m like you. I just feel like I donโ€™t know what to do anymore. I feel like I have no idea how to deal with stuff. I just have these things that I kee","I feel so empty inside. I've been having a hard time lately, and it feels like everything is just overwhelming me. I don't know what to do, and I just","I feel really down today. I'm not sure why, but it feels like nothing is going right. I'm working hard on a project at work and I keep hitting roadblo","I was wondering if my mom and I can get together for a coffee. I'm really stressed and I need to talk to someone about it. I feel like I'm drowning in","it feels like a bad day. I'm just like, I'm just really frustrated and like, I feel like I'm not being taken seriously or like I'm not getting the sup","my family is really happy right now, they're just being themselves and not trying to do anything. They're just taking their time and enjoying being to","I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m doing today. I canโ€™t wait to get to work because I have been doing so many projects. I feel really good because Iโ€™m doing this b","Iโ€™m thinking about the challenges and stress I face as a mother, including managing my son's high sensitivity, supporting him during anxiety attacks, ","you know, it's weird to think about my life right now and how things are different from how they used to be, and it's a good thing. Like, I'm still th","the goal here is to learn something about you, to learn what your patterns of thought are, what you are thinking about, what's going on in your mind..","I'm not going to talk about the whole story, but the gist of it, I'm like, 'Okay, I'm going to try to take care of my own self, like, not","I think I have a lot of time pressure. Like I need to get things done and I feel like I don't have enough time, and I want to take it slow, I want to ","you know it's, it's just so I'm not just, I'm not wasting time. And I can do all these things, but I also don't want to, I don't want","I can see the kitchen sink, but it's not clear if I want to make coffee or tea. I can see my cat sitting on top of the fridge, looking at me. I don't","I've got a weird idea that if we had some kind of like, super, like, whatever, you know, like, you're like, 'Oh, we're all going to have a","And this is probably the last one that I'm going to do. It's a big deal and it's the first one that I ever did. So, it was really like, like, yeah","I was like, okay, so I'm going to try to take this for free, so I know, you know, what that would be, and then you could just pay extra, you know","I'm going to try to eat dinner because I think I should do that, and I think it's like, I don't know if it's the right time or something, but I think ","I'm not really sure, I'm thinking about whether I can go and eat with friends or something, I mean like I know I haven't eaten all day and like I feel","Iโ€™m just like that. Thatโ€™s why itโ€™s hard to get a job, because I just like to chill a lot. Like when you see a dog, you know, you just go up","and like, if I could like make like a like a like like like a like, like like a, like like, like, like a like. Like, like a, yeah, like a","the world is like a giant game and it's like you don't want to play it anymore and you wanna play some different games and stuff like that you just li","I was thinking about a friend of mine, you know, like this, you know the guy that lives in this part of like, in the suburbs, you know? And like, I wa","I have a picture of the guys in the house, and I'm like, that's not so hot. I can't stand that picture of the guy in the house with the dog. Like that","uh oh, yeah, my mind is like a cloud... [Sigh] oh, it's like a cloud with like uh, like an umbrella on it, cause I'm like, I'm","And it's just it's like it's it's a thing you just, like you don't need to do anything else. You just want to go and be with them. Like you know it","I'm having a hard time finding a new job. I'm, I'm I'm just I don't want to get back into it. I want to be a professional photographer or a model.","yeah, we have to get our own money saved for retirement. I donโ€™t have enough for that, right now. We got like $20k in a Roth IRA, which is nice.","Iโ€™m glad to have a job now... itโ€™s not great but itโ€™s great for now... I think that was like four or five weeks ago when I had no job... I was just...","and so I know what it is. It's not about the money, right. Like I said, I think a lot of it is, like, I think, I think people just like having","okay, so like, if we're not talking about the old man's family and then we're talking about like, the whole thing about the whole family and like, the","and I'm not like a person who's not going to do anything. I don't have that mentality. But I don't like to do anything I can't do. I mean, if somethin","and so I think of my friend who's in the military. So I don't know if I ever actually talked about this with him, but I'm sure we've talked about it i","And then there's my mom and dad and then my brother, and then my cousin... my sister. I guess I'm a bit more like my dad than my mom, but I'm kind of","And then we'd probably do something like we've been doing like, you know, and that's where we would be, but that's the thing we would just, we would j","my kid's learning how to make a new dog, how to do it. They're learning to do it through the game. They're like, 'Oh, I don't want to do this","And we are actually going to do that today at home. I'm going to post all the stuff that we are working on. We'll be working on the same stuff. It'll ","it's the first time that I've had a chance to go out to the country and do it properly. So, it's been fun. I got a lot of inspiration for the rest of ","so the idea is you're going to do a lot of stuff with your little laptop and we have a couple of laptops available to you. And then we'll go over some","I feel like I need to take a break, I can't really focus at the moment. I'm having trouble concentrating, I feel like my thoughts are scattered. Maybe","my eyes are closed and I'm not actually sure where I am. I think it's like some kind of like, you know, a quiet place in your brain that you can go to","and that's a good thing because I don't think you get into it enough, right? I don't want to talk about it enough, and then I don't get into it. I get","I was gonna go to a place and I was gonna like do some of like, some kind of like, spiritual practice or something, and then it was like, you know, th","and that's why it's a very, very hard job. Because you need to have a good work ethic. And that's why I like to take on work where I know I can kind o","the same as if I'm saying like I'm in my head and I'm thinking and then like I'm thinking about what I'm thinking right now. I'm not thinking about ho","so I was doing my homework and it was like, I was watching Netflix and like I had an idea for a story. And it's like, you know, it's a horror story. A","you know, I don't know why I'm like this, but I feel like I have some, some anger building up. I don't think it's towards you, I don't mean to","I was thinking about a... a... I was thinking about, like, when I was, like, in high school or something, like, I think it was like, I don't know,","I've always been a very introverted person. I don't really enjoy talking to people or talking on the phone or like being around a lot of people. I thi","you know, I'm not really sure how to be honest with you about this, but I mean, it's like, I'm, I'm having a hard time, I mean, you know","so I've been kind of busy with this new job. I'm still figuring out how everything works, but I've been really enjoying it so far. It's definitely a l","I was in a meeting the other day and there was a person from [the company] who is really good at what they do, but they're really not great with commu","So, you know, it's a lot of work to have a family. And you know, just like, like, I feel like a lot of people, like, they don't even realize","itโ€™s like Iโ€™ve never been in this situation before, you know, like Iโ€™ve had a lot of experience with dating, but not with dating a girl who is really ","and I have my own, like, weird, personal thing that I do. I have a YouTube channel called 'Katie's Kinky Kudos,' and it's really just my way of,","I'm on my way back from a trip to Florida. I went down to the beach and I was swimming at the beach. It's just so nice to be able to just go and get a","and I wonder if that's a good idea, because I don't know if he'd want to get involved with that much work... but I don't think he'd want me to get inv","like in a lot of things that's just a lot of stuff in my head that's just like, you know, like a lot of it's like, I just don't know if it's","my head was down and I was crying, I was like, I didn't know I was doing that. And I just had like, a lot of like, self-care moments with my husband,","what's a little birdie told me is that you have an older brother named Jordan who is, you know, has like a 3-year-old, you know what I'm saying, you h","[I think] I don't feel like I'm doing it right, but I'm trying...[it's] kind of hard to explain exactly what I mean by that...[I] feel","this is kind of weird... I don't really know what's going on with this, I feel like... like there's something else... I'm not really sure what... I'm ","[I'm thinking about] how I'm not really feeling much like myself. I'm kind of feeling like, uh, I've been a bit, uh, my sleep schedule, uh, has","the goal of this session is to really sort of break through to find some new thoughts, because I was kind of feeling stuck in some of the thoughts tha","I feel like it's the end of my life. It's like I don't have any value anymore. I've been in this cycle for so long that it feels like I don't want to","I'm thinking about how to explain [this situation]. I want to make it clear that my message is important and that it's not about any personal issues. ","I was looking at the sky. It's such an amazing experience. I never thought that it could be that blue. That's my first impression of it, but when I st","Iโ€™m doing it for a reason. Iโ€™m not doing this for myself. Iโ€™m doing this for everyone. Iโ€™m giving a lot of people hope because a lot of them have no h","and I don't know, I just have this feeling like... if we're gonna go this far and we're going to go through so much, then there needs to be more. And ","okay so if the only thing that's going to stop you from having a problem is the fact that the people that you're talking to, you don't have to have a ","like an elephant in a room, that's what it feels like. Like if you're talking to someone and they just, you know, they just don't even realize, even t","I think you donโ€™t do this, like, in your real life. I mean, you do this for a few days but then you go back to your real life like, right? And like","okay so the other day, I was on my way to the gym, and I was just kind of driving really fast, and I saw a guy driving, like a little like a mini-van","I was just like, I have to take the cat out. I just forgot I had to take the cat. Like I'm not sure if the cat is even alive because they had to take ","it's like I'm trying to find this. I'm like I'm looking for something that's just kind of like a. It's not. It's not going to be found. It's","oh, the old car. It's old. I wish it wasn't so old. It's getting pretty old. I used to drive it a lot, but now I don't drive it as","the last time I was in the shower with someone was 2005 in the summer, right? Yeah. I donโ€™t know, but I was probably doing it like... I was just","yeah I just I can't believe it's it's it's like the best day of my life. It's been a long time coming and it's just crazy. I'm I'm actually like","I've been thinking about the [COVID] vaccine, because I'm at a point where I'm going to have to get one, because I have a birthday coming up, I'm like","I feel a little nervous, I'm trying to work out the next question, I have my notes I've been working on, I'm not sure I'm going to make it through, I'","I feel like I have been here in my head before. And then I feel like my head's been kind of, um, maybe not empty, but like the stuff that's in there i","I feel like I'm going to get my house broken into and my house will be ransacked again and I'll have to have people in my house all the time because o","and then we were talking about like how the the the uh, the uh, what you know, what is the name of the game like in the in the uh, in the in our schoo","i am 54 and my friend is 54 ... and we have the exact same life, in terms of how we've had to make some adjustments and have to make some changes ... ","so I feel like I want to be a more active person, and I think there's a lot of times that I like to do more, I think like, there's a number of things ","Iโ€™m working on a novel right now. So Iโ€™m working on the next novel, a fantasy, which is really fun. Iโ€™m also working on an autobiography, which is a r","I don't know, I'm in a state of flow for some reason. It's like a feeling of euphoria, like I'm in an elevated mood and I'm in this state of flow","I think I was like this. I was probably very, very socially anxious as a child. I'm not really sure what it is, but I remember being really insecure a","I feel very bored at the moment... I don't have a lot of things to do or do. And I just feel like I'm sort of stuck in a rut in my career at the momen","and I'm just thinking about the time where I was just like, you know, doing my homework, and my dad would come and he's like, hey, can I do it? And I","so like I said, like, you know, my boyfriend's gonna be back in three days. So I'm gonna be like, oh, he's back! Then I'm going to be like","I think about the times I'm going to be a grandma... it's kind of a dream. I think, you know, I'm going to have a baby in the fall and I'll be","and then the next day, we were at the school. We were at the zoo and he was like, I think I need to start a dog club. He's like, I need a puppy","my family doesnโ€™t like me, like, they donโ€™t care that Iโ€™m gay. I have to work really hard to hide it. They think itโ€™s like, Iโ€™m lying, like,","I have a big thing I want to talk about. I'm working on a new job, and I'm like, it's like a little bit of a hard job. Like, I'm a","the fact that you're doing this interview thing with me, is it a thing, where, is it like an interview where you're interviewing someone about, you kn","I'm really, I'm really sorry about it. I mean, I'm like, I'm an adult and I'm like 'I'm so sorry,' you know, because, but I didn","and I don't even know why. I'm trying to make money and I don't think that's even what I'm good at. I'm so much better at being with people and like h","so it was weird that the song that I put on my Spotify, like the song that was like the background of this podcast, was like I wanted to do a song whe","so, yeah, I just think like, I was gonna watch that like, that show again on, yeah, just a random show like, like, you know, I don't really watch too","I feel like I'm at this, like I'm having a lot of, I just got off a date and I feel like it was super, I feel like it's just like I'm trying","so I'm like, I'm gonna be really creative and I'm gonna make it my own and I'm not gonna do the exact same thing like what everyone else's like, that'","I'm going to do a little research into this idea of the [dopamine] dopamine diet, and I've already done that. So I'm going to see how I can do that an","I think about a project I'm working on, where I'm making like a video game for a game company... I'm working on a side project. I've been like in and ","I was just like, 'okay, so that's not bad, I should maybe... I should probably work on a plan.' Like, I've been really thinking about... I'm not sure ","And then you go and get some more milk and some more cereal or something like that. Yeah, we are like I said like a very tiny family. So yeah. I guess","I had some good news. I'm like, my cousin's like, well, she's getting married on like November 17, so I'm like... and, and I got like two","we'll go back to school and stuff. You know, I really don't know if I'm ready, like I haven't really... I haven't like taken the time to think about i","I'm going to talk a lot about the subject. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on it and I'm just going to say them as I go along. I think the fact ","I can see the [face of] one of the people who was on the plane. He was in my class last semester. He was a freshman when I was a sophomore. He was pro","I've been working on a project for the past six months on this and I feel like I've learned a lot. I've learned how to, like, structure a project from","So you know, I'm pretty much like, I feel like I'm going to lose a lot of people because of COVID-19, and I think I'm gonna lose a lot of friends","you know, it was a little bit frustrating to be like, 'okay, I've been thinking about this, but it's like, it's just like, I'm not sure if it's","and then I was like I've been at my mom's house for about a month and I just started taking pictures with my phone, but I had never taken a picture of","I just like to write. I like writing and then I can't find the time to actually sit down and write, I try to find a lot of excuses to do that, but I h","I donโ€™t want to take pictures or anything, I want to do it as a meditation. I want to think about my life, think about my relationships, think about w","it's just like you know it's not the end of the world and that I am not going to lose everything. And I am going to make it work, you know, so, but th","I remember this little story that my mom told me, that she was a young adult and she was on her way to her college and she got like, a ride with a str","and we also have to pay our rent and everything like that. And we just go on vacation, I guess. And we're going on vacation like to New Hampshire or l","I just talked to my friend today, like 10 minutes ago. I don't really talk to her that often. She's from like, like, like...she's from like a little","my thoughts are very different from others' thoughts. I have a lot of memories and thoughts that have to do with my mom, because she was a big part of","I think you're wrong. I think that you should do what's best for your heart. You know, it's not good for you. And you're like, okay, I'll try to","my face is like an orange peel, I have acne scars. I used to think this was because I was a picky eater and didn't eat enough vegetables or something.","[laughs] I think I just woke up for like two minutes or something. I'm like, oh my God, I'm just like in a dream. And I'm like I don't want","and I thought, okay, let's see, what else? What else? Oh, and my wife's hair looks like a weasel's tail. And I'm thinking, oh my god,","I have an idea. I'm going to make some brownies. I think I'm going to bake some brownies for my dog. So I have a dog, I don't have any dogs","I'm...I'm like...I'm at my parents' house right now. I'm sitting at the dining room table with them. I'm talking to them. I haven't seen my mom","I was gonna do my homework, I just wanted to do it earlier so it would be done. It's just I have a bunch of stuff I wanna watch and it's on YouTube, b","And now I'm going to go back to that last bit, that's why I can't do that, I'm going back to that, and I can't stop thinking about that, I need","like the whole thing was just an experiment and you just made it up, like I don't know, but it was just like something you had no control over, like y","i know that i really did it and i was really scared and i know that i was crying and i was thinking like maybe i wasn't good at it and like, i thought","and the reason why it happened to me is I've been having so much stress lately and it was the first time I felt like it was getting worse. And I start","it's not that I think I'm going to be able to do it, it's that I know I'm not going to be able to... and I'm just gonna have to find another job","and the others like this, they're all just trying to make money off of it. Like, you know, they're just like, yeah, yeah, I don't think I can do it","I don't know if this is my fault, but my ability to stay focused on one thing has gone. It's like when I have to make decisions about a lot of things.","I can see some of those, I don't want to put them into words, but I'm trying to see what's going through my head. I can see myself trying to get back ","I have to figure out a way to explain to my supervisor why I need more resources to do my job effectively. I donโ€™t want to come across as pushy or nee","I need to figure out if I should be able to... like, if I could be a student, but I feel like I'm not good enough for that. I'm not going to college r","I think I'm trying to decide on what my next steps are. I think that I've been in this job for a long time now, so I'm pretty set in my position. I th","I know people who don't want to take a break, I know people that are on their phones all the time. And I think a lot of it is just a thing that people","and I'm like, I'm not going to go to a wedding in a couple of months so that's pretty good, I mean I've never had a job and then I have a job and","it's just like i'm making a list of like, you know, it's like, it's kind of, like, it'd be like, if you were trying to make like, an","the last time I was at home, I was like really having a really great time, I mean it was like everything was going super well, everything was happenin","so i i i i just i i have the first time in a while that i'm not like i'm just gonna kind of do it like you know kind of just let it be just do the","I wonder how many times I've seen this show before because I saw it again today and I was like, yeah, I know, it's not like I can't remember. I don't ","you know youโ€™re a good person, youโ€™re a nice person, and Iโ€™ve been thinking like you know, I feel like Iโ€™m like a good person but I feel like sometime","I feel so... I just feel so bad. Like, I don't want to be here and I'm... like, it's like I can't feel anything. I'm like numb... I","it's like I'm gonna make the mistake of being like, well you know, I have to make this like my priority. I'm gonna do my best to make it happen and th","I can't get this done before 6 am...but I have to get ready...so I'm going to try and go to sleep early and try and get everything done so that I'm li","the guy who's always going to be the biggest asshole, he's not going to change. He's just going to be that person. That person is just going to show u","you don't want me to do it. you don't. I don't want to go back to that, but that was my last chance to do it, so I just kinda kind of like","I feel like I can't make my words work anymore, and it feels so frustrating. Like my brain is just trying to make up excuses, and I just feel like, yo","I've been in a bad place with my relationships... I feel like I have bad relationships... I want to leave the relationships... I don't know what to do","you know, I'm starting to think, maybe, I shouldn't have this kid. I think it's going to be a struggle. I don't think I can handle the responsibility ","I don't know how to stop this. It's just a cycle of thoughts. I keep thinking about this and it just keeps going. I don't want to be here anymore. I d","and I'm in the hospital again, and they're telling me they're going to take my brain out, and I'm crying in pain, I'm crying, I'm telling them to just","this is how I was able to make the best of things, that's how I got the best of it. I was like, ok, I'm gonna have to deal with it and then I","I want to talk to my brother again. I'm thinking about the other day he sent me the picture. It made me really feel good. I guess I haven't had the be","I'm not sure what I was doing but it was like I was on the internet and I was trying to look up some recipes but it was a little hard to find what I w","you have to be honest with yourself. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You'll find a way to get out of this. I don't know why. But I'm gonna be","so my body was still like this. And I started thinking about how this was how I'd always felt about my body. I'm so happy that I'm here, I'm like, it'","you know? The way I'm feeling... it feels like a kind of freedom... I feel like I'm just letting go of everything, even the things that I think I'm su","I'm gonna get up in the morning and do this...I know I'm gonna cry today...I don't know if I'm ready. I've been like this all day...I'm really","I was thinking about you and I don't want to be around you and I want you to leave me alone. And I feel like you're controlling my life and I don't kn","I'm so tired, I can't think about anything other than falling asleep, and I want to just go to bed, I'm just so tired. I just feel so tired, so much s","I've got this thought that's been like... like it's been stuck in my head for a while. And it's just... it's just this feeling that like I don't deser","I can see that she's got her hands on her hips and is looking down. I guess she's just trying to get a handle on the situation. I can feel her tension","I don't know why this is coming up, but I feel really shitty and I'm just trying to figure out why I'm feeling like that. I just feel like I'm falling","I was thinking that I have a lot of energy, but I can't do anything with it. I need to take the time to look at myself. And I know that I need to be p","I'm just going to be thinking. And I don't think I've said this before, but I'm really not sure how to be a good friend right now. I want to be suppor","I have a new goal. I'm going to start reading more books. I want to read at least one book a month. I want to get into a reading habit and be more int","and I have this feeling that I want to be better. I think that I'm going to work on it, but I feel like I've kind of hit a roadblock in the middle of ","I'm here and I'm having an intense feeling of anxiety, because my mind is not focused on the present moment. I keep thinking about the future and that","I think of my mother. I think of her being sick, and I feel a bit worried and anxious. I feel a bit anxious about her health. I have to go to work and","you can just say whatever comes to your mind. You don't have to censor it or filter it. It can be any thought that pops into your head, positive or ne","I was on a trip with some friends in Spain. We went to some town where the main thing was a festival. And it was a beautiful place with lots of trees ","[I'm] wondering if I should have gone for a walk today or if I should've done more work instead, that was the main decision that I was thinking about.","I was at the airport the other day and I was thinking about how people seem to forget stuff like this all the time, like I've had some other friends w","what you said earlier about people not being able to use the same language in different ways? I've thought about that a lot lately and I'm just like, ","the fact that I'm not married is a bit of a weird thing, it's a weird thing that I am not married, and I kind of feel like I don't deserve to be marri","and it's all about this really intense love of a person and the person is a woman in the age of 30. So yeah, they are 30, they have a child,","yeah, there's like one or two words that are just kind of weird. I'm like, why did you think that? Like, it's weird, but there's a little part of me","i'm gonna give you a thought experiment. What if you're standing on a bridge. And you have to jump over and get to the other side, and you know that t","I'm so hungry. I think I'm going to get something to eat. I want to get some beer. I don't have any money on me, so I'll probably get a beer in","what I'm thinking is like this. There's a person who's standing there. And they're like, hey, do you want to play this game. And you say, hey, I'm","So I'm doing a podcast. I'm recording this. I've done it twice before. So I have the two other recordings, I'm going to listen to the other two and co","It's almost 4 pm, it's 4:01 pm... It's 4. It's a little bit past 4:14: it's 3:14","okay so that's that so so that's so that's how that works okay and then and then that's cool i mean i i i don't have to worry about it you know and i ","oh yeah, i think, like, what, what are we talking about? you know? like, what are the, what are some of the things we've been talking about? like, lik","we were doing that today, so I was, it's a little bit funny because they actually, they're like the other day, they were like, you know, you guys, lik","I feel like, I feel like, like it's so, it's so so hard to get it, to get your foot on the right foot. You know, the, the the the right","[the] I've never had that, I've never done that. So, the last time, I'm like, 'Oh, wait, what happened, you had some type of like a","so like the last time you talked about the new 50% tax, I didn't know that because it was on my phone and then I just didn't click on that thing and t","I got a notification on Instagram from a new follower, I didn't follow them back, I'm still learning about what this platform is, how it works, how to","So I'm like, this is all too much. I can't do it. I mean, this is so much content that I have to do now. But I mean, I don't feel","what I wanted to say earlier is that I think this is not only a tool for you to improve your own work. It's a tool for the team to be able to improve ","[...] And I can see that this is going to be a problem that will continue to haunt us for a long time and it's not necessarily because of our technolo","It is not so simple, because that was the last thing that happened when I was a teenager, which is when I started my job. I was 23, 24 years old.","we just have the usual stuff like, how's this thing? It's doing really great, actually. So you know, you know what they say is, you know, for us, like","the first thing that I was thinking of was a machine learning system that will help to find some connections between the different pieces of knowledge","I'm not sure I like it, but I think the new version will work for me better. The only problem is that the original is a bit more efficient at the earl","and I was in the car on the way to the store and there was a guy that was looking at my car and I was looking at him and I'm just like, 'Hey, do you","[the] ability to build a system that is able to have a certain amount of knowledge, and then be able to make decisions, and be able to then execute th","... and this one has a name: John. He's a professional, and he's also an artist. His work is very good, and he has his own style. He's very popular on","I'll just keep on keeping on. I don't know what that's all about, I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. I think it might be, I've never","a lot of work in the last week. I've been doing a lot of design work, so it's been interesting to work on a lot of different projects. And I think tha","so you have a set of parameters for each one, and that's, I mean, that's the goal. So it's very much like, you know, you have a certain number of para","So that's what I'm going to do. Okay. Now, what I'm trying to do, I'm trying to go through. Let me just think about what's going through my mind right","So the other one was a question about whether I would ever get to do it. But now, I can say that I probably will. I don't know, but I'm making the eff","so I'll send my wife a note that says something like: Hey, we're on the same team. We're working on the same project. We have to ship in Q1. So I","a few minutes ago I was thinking about you, thinking about the time that I've spent working with you, thinking about all the conversations we've had, ","and I was like, okay, so I did that, but it doesn't really tell me anything. It's a little bit like, you know, doing some form of like a, a survey","what we call... and I... I'm just thinking about a project, a project where we are trying to... [sigh] try to... and I'm not sure what to call it...","we were trying to get the full extent of the things we did to help the student, like the way I would, you know, just meet them for, just, you know wha","we've talked a lot about the time. We've talked a lot of the future, how we're going to spend the rest of our lives. I'm actually looking to invest in","I've got some ideas on how we can do that and we can do it a lot more efficiently. We can just set up a list and we can actually have a number of peop","I'm working on the paper for the class that I'm taking and it's pretty straightforward but it's a bit time consuming. And I'm doing the writing for th","a lot of what we've seen is, it's hard to get people to, to come out with these ideas. So what we've done is, we've set up a system where people,","I was thinking, this is actually kind of cool that they're doing this thing, the idea that the team is just kind of building the architecture and then","so the other thing, is there a way to have a way to store the results? Right now, they are in a directory in the computer that's kind of organized, bu","And so if you look at a bunch of words and look at a set of sentences, and you're going to try to extract the meaning out of them, that's going to be ","I'm thinking of the ideas that are there. And one of the things that I've been thinking about is the relationship between ideas and representations. S","what it's like to be a philosopher, which is very different from what it's like to do math. One of the big things that I do when I think about math, f","It's just that the time series in a neural network is really really long. The time series is 15 years long and then you make the whole thing neural ne","and then they start the sequence and it's not too much of a stretch to say that it's very similar to what we have today. And if you look at the modern","and that's what I'm trying to do and the one thing I've learned in trying to do that is, is that, is that what I think is, is it's really hard to do","if I do the math on the other side, the right side of the equation, that would be the same thing as the probability of doing something. I mean, you ca","I wonder why I would do this. I wonder if it would even be possible to make it more like a general model than just this specific model that I have her","it's a lot to do with the question of what makes a person in general, which is not really a question that I'm answering. I'm not trying to answer the ","but then it doesn't necessarily mean you have to go through a whole bunch of cognitive processes to get a good idea. It might just be something you th","I'm thinking, what is this about? Because, I mean, why are we having to do this? What are we trying to achieve here? Because, if I look at the researc","And I feel like, what do you feel like about, you know, about this, about this topic, about the whole thing? It's not so much about the topic, it's ab","So, it's this. I have this idea that the universe is like a book, and what's in it is this, it's like this book of mathematics, or this book of physic","[thoughts about] the future. And it seems like a lot of the time we're worried about what the future looks like. And a lot of these thoughts about the","So, I don't know what this is, right, this is some sort of abstract kind of thing? I don't have a clear sense of it. What I'm doing is basically, you","I'll start with this. I think that you can get some feedback on this from a very simple thing, which is to think of a very simple function, and to thi","what would it look like to look at an object or a concept with a different lens than it was designed for? Or even if I have a concept that is well def","and then you don't have to do anything about it. You could also just imagine, that if you can imagine what you have to do next, then you can just imag","I think this is going to be a big problem... I need to be able to... I need the... I need this to... I've been using this method before... this method","And the first time you have the idea of being able to get to the point of being able to generate some questions that you could ask, and then get feedb","this is just a different kind of meditation. It's a different kind of therapy, because you are doing this by yourself. So there are no other people to","what? I was saying the other day about... oh, I don't know. Oh, let's see, the other day we were talking about the fact that when we're trying to do t","I'm watching my own thought process. I have a question: How does a question come into being? What's going on behind the scenes in the brain? What kind","I can't remember how I did it but it seems that this is a good place for the [Bayesian network] because you have two things that are not related to ea","okay, let's just say that if we were to measure the ability of a machine to solve a particular problem, and then measure the ability of an average hum","I am wondering, because, I was thinking about the importance of being able to remember, and it is, so it's very important to be able to remember. I've","[T]his is the second time in three years, since my last session, that I've been in a state of complete inattention. When I go into this state, I find ","the first two cases I'm interested in, which are not as obvious as the two I've been describing, the case of 'I will go to the grocery store,' and the","and so, the big picture is that the quality of what comes in the mind is quite different from what we see in the brain. The brain is more active at al","and that's a point where I remember being on the board for a while and I remember thinking that, like, the board was very kind of like, you know, you'","and you know I think about it all the time, because I can't just leave it. And then it just keeps happening, and it's not just me, but it's also like ","Okay, now I'm trying to get my brain to remember things, and it's not really working well. It's not like it's trying to remember things at all. I'm no","So there are a bunch of different, you know, like if you're like, 'Okay, how can we sort of...? How can we get our thinking? How can...? How do","It's a thing of course that the media is really big on this and like you know, we can think about this in terms of how does that affect the media? And","So that's a very interesting observation, because if you think about how, and how AI models are trained, I think about it in terms of a language model","So we're trying to learn more about people. So, what do people think about AI and about machine learning? How do they think about that? So, for exampl","so I'm in a room. And I'm writing, and I've got this board here, and I'm writing this. So I have this board here. I'm just writing, and the","the idea of the connection between the brain and the body, in the context of the brain as the source of intelligence and the body as the source of emo","I have to make sure I'm not wasting my time. I have to be careful here. I can't be distracted. I have a goal in mind and I'm just trying to be precise","my thoughts are all about this company that we're working on, and the ideas that they have about how to do it, and what they're thinking, and how they","So I think a lot of our customers, especially our older customers, have a hard time with that. They are very concerned about whether they're going to ","uh, I don't really want to be here. It's really about the company. I don't want to be in the company, like, you know. The company is going to take all","so we just started this project. So, like, we're working on an idea to improve the patient experience, you know? And we've got like a patient portal a","And it's pretty clear that the central bank in the US, which is the Federal Reserve, they have a mandate of 2% inflation. But there's no good way to m","I think there's an important distinction that we're going to be making between the kinds of data that are going to be used in the model. One kind is g","I've seen people do it, where the, where the system is basically designed, and then you just put in these values that you want and you get back the an","I think about how I can do this. I have to think about the metrics that I want to optimize. So I'm going to look at all the metrics that are defined i","but we got the first three numbers. We have the first three. It's a good sign. The next one is this. Let's say the next one is just 10. Then the","you can see all these people coming through here and the question is how can we support these people. Now, they're coming to us and they want to do so","but that's why I can't really understand why, why people, like the one in the case study that I'm looking at right now, is this is a problem with, it'","the fact that there's a lot of information that I'm getting from my phone and I'm using the phone in the way that it's supposed to be used and that's ","[i]t's the same with the thing you want to say that you want to know more about. You need to know more. You have to know what you are really trying to","I just started a project last week to clean up some of the old legacy code that's out there in our company. That was really annoying, because all the ","20th, 21st century: 2019: so this is kind of, we can't get an API key, right? We can't, so what can","and then I start thinking about what they should have done to get better, and how they should have acted in this particular situation, and then I'll l","and maybe we need a tool to help us learn about these things. And we don't know what the tool is, but I think that we can come up with it, but we have","the kind of thing that I'm thinking, I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I can kind of give this stuff a chance. So, it's like you have ","and this is very very much the same situation as when you go to a doctor. I don't have any symptoms, I don't see any symptoms, but I want to go to the","And so I have a feeling that in a certain way, my family and friends are like a system in a sense, like a software application, like a distributed app","I have to do this with the camera now and then, otherwise the camera is not stable anymore and I have to reset it, that's what I do. So I have to reco","I am sitting here. This is a kind of thought experiment. I am sitting, I can't see anything. There's no sound. It's a quiet environment. There's nothi","my voice is very very quiet, and I'm not sure why. My eyes are still closed. I'm not looking at anything. I'm just here. I think that I'm here, in","you are listening to my inner voice, and your body is reacting to what is coming out of my brain, you are not reading my thoughts, you are listening t","[00:11:49] What do you mean by that, 'it is a dream?'...[00:22:56] What are you saying when you","and a friend of mine...said it would be an easy thing to do to move a little...or not...and it's not very easy. It's an interesting thing to think abo","the word that was left is 'in'. The word 'in'. ...The word 'in' ... The word 'into'... the word 'in to'. And now the word 'to'","I remember, when I was young and I had an injury, I had to lie in the dark with a red light on, so my eyes didn't get used to the light, and that was","I am getting ready for bed, now I am not getting ready for the computer, I am getting ready for a bed, the bed is flat and the pillow is flat and then","there are things which are not done, but I can tell you what is done, what's going on in me, right now. That is, there is a state of consciousness of ","4136 4137 4138 4139 4140 4141 4142 4143","[650] The number 700 is half way to 1400. 50 is a quarter of 200. Half of 5000","and that would be (pause), 91, and (pause) 90. OK. (pause). And 89. 90, 89, 88","the clock's 12:01...12:27...12:54...12:42...12:16...12:35...","but it doesn't really work the way it was planned because there's more going on and it's a bit hard to control it. So if I put a small weight of 10g,","It was just like I was there, just like a dream. The next one, the other one, was a dream too. Then I was on the other side of the street, the street ","10-30 00-43 02-60 04-85 04-33 03-95 00","we're looking at this angle here... and this one here... and the whole thing here is just sort of an image... and I'm looking at the left hand side he","and this is like this. Then they get out, and they see this big space, and then the light changes and it goes like this, and then they see it like thi","it's hard to be still, really still, but that's what I want to do. Now I'm seeing the whole thing. I'm seeing it all, I see my face. My face","this is my mother, and this is the other one, and then I see the same as my mother, but then I see another one, and this one is bigger. Then the big o","it's a strange world, isn't it? I remember now. Oh, I'm so glad. I remember when I was a child. I remember sitting in this chair now. I remember the","a little girl, she was like a big sister. She would come up, and she would say: 'Don't you think I'm big enough now? Do you think I should play?' Then","[in a dream] he is going to try to climb up a mountain, he is going down a mountain... [pause] I wonder what he is doing... [pause and sound of his vo","I'm having a bath now ... I can hear the water ... the water's ... getting warmer and warmer. I can hear it getting louder and louder. I can't feel it","it's not so bad, not so bad... yes it is. Yes it is, it is bad... a bit... no... yes... no... it's bad, but not so bad.","I see a blue ball bouncing, and the floor is blue, and a hand is coming up, and I see a hand coming down, and a hand coming up, a hand coming out, a","then it's not a light. It's a box! ... Then it's a little more than a box... It's got a hole in it, so you can see things through it... then","And I think of a garden with trees in it, with trees at a distance, and leaves moving in the wind, and there's a grassy path going up the slope. I can","it is in the middle of the page, the middle of this page, it is going to fall down. There, there, it is falling down. The paper is falling down, falli","I am not sure what I want to say. I think I will say something like this: there is a thought about a number of people. The thought has an inside and a","it is easy to make a mistake, and a mistake is something that doesn't make sense. But to make a mistake is not to make a wrong; it is to make a nothin","and if the Earth were a little more than one-half a yard in diameter, the Universe would be as big as a grain of sand, and all the matter in the Unive","it's like a big bowl, and if the bowl gets full it overflows. ... It's like a kind of sphere, but the sphere is like a kind of a cylinder, and it goes","I had been playing a game on the computer where you had a bunch of little things and you had to arrange them into some sort of pattern, and the more t","and I'll do that...I'm going to try to do that, you see. I'll do it on a plane, and the other thing I can do is a little circle. I'll","and I'm thinking about this square root of three. Now I'm going to see if I can take the square root of five. I'll use a square root of three to get t","and he was a very pretty man. I wonder why. He was a very pleasant looking man. Oh! He had a very large nose. That is, it was bigger than usual. Oh!","there's a few things we could do with the next step. One would be to say that there are two things in this step. You can go on and say that the next s","(after 13 minutes) ... (after 23 minutes) I have a feeling that if I were to construct a cylinder in three dimensions, and put on an axis of rotation,","The point of the moment, the point of the present, is that it is always an object, but an object that has no beginning or end. That is to say, it is n","a ... a ... a dark cloud ... it ... it ... it's a dark ... cloud ... cloud ... it's ... it's dark ... dark ... cloud. ... The cloud is ... it ... its","the word that is coming to mind is, for instance, the word 'rose', and now there is no word coming to mind but there is the image of a rose; the word ","so you can take a half of a line, which is just the middle of a line and then you can see what you're doing. So if you take the half of a circle, you ","and it's the same with the sun; it's the moon that changes, and the sun doesn't change, it just becomes darker or brighter. And then it's the reverse,","and there was a tree...a tree in a circle...and it had a white flower, like a rose. And it was like a lotus flower, and it was blue. And a lot","there's this square root of 1/2, which is a little less than 1/โˆš2, and so I'm going to draw a square with sides โˆš2 times the size","so when we were studying these patterns, I had been thinking about how much a person could learn, but you can't get very much from a person just from ","the result of the application of a pressure p. Let me draw it in the space between the two lines. What I have to do is to calculate the differential o","the body is made up of 4 elements, water, air, fire, earth. Water is liquid, air is gaseous, fire is thermal and earth is solid. All these elements ar"],["the way things are...the way things used to be...the way they ought to be...the difference between the way things are and the way they ought to be. Li","so the little girl said 'you know, you ought to be here to tell the story, and we don't want to leave you out. We want you to be a part of the story,","I was in my 10th or 11th grade...I was going to the school play. I was in the school play and I had this friend who was an actor in the","And I remember going to visit my grandparents in California, and I remember going over to see my aunt's house in Los Angeles and she had a huge yard. ","you know, there's this one guy, he's really handsome, he's one of the guys in my class, and he's, like, 18 years old, and we met him","and it's all gone by and, uh, I'm still, I'm just, uh, a little bit sad about it, uh, cause I've been a friend of, of one of","[T]he reason I can't remember anything of this [last class] is because you told me to do it [take notes] and I didn't because I had to listen to some ","I'm thinking of a time when I was a child and my mom had me on my lap, and I was playing with my toys and she had to get out and go to the bathroom, a","and, like, I, I don't know, I don't even think about it, it's like, I guess it's like a really good thing for them to be in a state,","I am happy. I'm going to try to eat something. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I think I want a snack. I think I have a snack at home. It's","And it's really scary that he has a wife, and he's got kids. I was thinking about the wife, and I don't even know her, I don't really like her, but","I wonder what it would be like to be a man. To be a man and a father. I have a feeling that my father would have liked that. I don't think I could han","and I just thought that that was really sad, about the man who was in the car, the drunk driving. And I didn't know his name, but I knew that he was a","[it's] just like what you were saying about him and I don't know, I don't think he was saying anything about it but it's just, I was thinking, when he","the people in the hospital are just as sick as the people here. We were just as sick as we were here, and you know that now, and you won't deny it. Yo","and she has a little daughter. And, she has a husband who is an alcoholic. He beats her up every day and all the time. She's got a husband who beats h","and it was the first time she had seen my father or my mother since the night that we left. I can see her, she's in a white dress, I can see the blood","I'll die for you! I will, for I love you! I'd kill you if you hurt you! I'll kill you! I love you and I'll kill you, I will,","but then I'll kill her. I'll kill your wife. I'll tear her heart out. I'll cut out her tongue. I'll leave her with her hair cut short, and I'll","and then he was laughing because he saw the way I was looking at him, you know, the way I used to look at him, and I felt, I felt, oh, he was going","it's all right, let him be a boy. Let him be a man, let him do what he wants. I don't want him to marry some stupid old woman or be some kind of","I can't make up my mind. I'm too lazy, I can't stop thinking. I wish I could just stop. It's like a millstone around my neck. I can't think","I want to stop you. I'm going to stop you... I don't want to be the only one left, I don't think I can be... and I want you to know it.","there was this little girl in the yard, she was looking up at the moon, and she said, 'I wish I had a man to look after me'. And she went to sleep, an","and she got drunk, and I got drunk, you know, and we got drunk. And then she had a baby and we got married. And that's when he went away. And that was","I see that man that's been following us around here the whole time. He's still behind us. He's been looking at us, he's been staring at us like we're ","and you can't hear what I'm saying because you don't wanna hear what I have to say, so what you say to me now is what I wanna hear and I'll just keep ","you know, you know, I'm thinking now, and I'm thinking it's because I'm too old to go and die like this. And I'm thinking, I'm gonna go up to","and then it was all over. It's all over and I can't believe it. It's like the end of the world and I just want to go away and never see any of it agai","it was a dream. A dream. Oh God, God, it was a dream! Oh God, what was I doing there? I don't remember anything. It was a dream, I was","I'd like to hear what you think. If I can have a few words, that's all I want. And you can't write anything down, I'll take care of that. You just","and I think maybe they've all done it, some of them, all of them, they've all had it. All the things they said to you in the last 30 or 4","you'll know if you've done right, if you've been right, and it's a real wonderful way for him to be right, and he won't need to be right. And I'd","I know where I am! I know where I was! I know I am here! I know who I am! Yes! I know! Yes! And now I know I'm not going to","and now he's gone off and made himself a lot more beautiful than I have ever seen him in my whole life, and he's a pretty young man, he is, he's a han","It's like a wild beast's life, isn't it? And a very sad one, a very cruel one. Because every one of them was like you and me. They loved to play with","I'm a fool to be here. I ought to be in my little room with my own woman, my own man, and my own children, who would be so much happier. The old woman","and I remember once I saw a great big girl in the street and she was so full of meat, I think she was like a whale; but she was a very handsome woman ","the voice inside my head...there are two voices in my head now...one is my own and the other is my father...he is here with me, in my mind and in my h","the black dragon, he was blacker than the coal and the night. He looked at me, with a wicked and glinting eye, and I said 'Come here, you black beast!","I am afraid of death. Oh! my! I am afraid. I am afraid to die! I am sick of living. I am sick! I am so sick! I must die! I","the flowers of the pomegranate are very beautiful, they are very beautiful; they have a beauty like that of a little girl, who is very beautiful, very","And I was thinking how this is very beautiful. It's very beautiful how the great Lord has willed that we should be created, and how He has willed us t","... the child is there and the little one has grown so much that you are almost ashamed of him and you feel it is time you were going to return to you","the little black dog came to the door of his house. The dog was hungry and wanted to eat, he saw the woman coming out with a little dog in her arms. A","there were two people on the way. The little girl ran up to the boy and said, 'We will be happy if you give me a kiss'. The little boy gave her a kiss","I wonder where we can get the paper to cover this up with. We've got to cover it up, it's the only way to get rid of it. It's not the time for that","but I wonder what you would say to me if I were to come home and tell you I'd killed a man to save your life, and that the man had been trying to kill","I'm afraid that I'll have to go into your room. I'll have to look at your face. And I can't let you go now. I have to be with you. I have","[I]t's [a] long time [I]f you've never been married [I]t takes a long time to find out what you've got. ... You don't find","and I saw an old lady, and she had a green dress on, and I said: 'You're dead, you've been dead for ever.' And she said, 'I don't think","I felt you there, in my heart, and I knew it was you. I was so glad. And I did not love you, though you knew I did. And I hated you because of","and the feeling of those people, and the way that they were like to look at him when he had looked at him in that way, the way that he had looked, the","a huge black wave is coming. It's got the feel of a tsunami. And it's coming from the sea, but it's like the sea's risen, and the sea is a wave,","this was what you told me. I'd always known it was true. I'd felt it to be true. The thing that made me believe it so much was the way I knew it. I","I do think, now that I have written this out and have spoken it aloud, that this is not an act of revenge, but an act of vengeance, for I was in the s","And I think that I know why. That was the last time that I had seen you, and the next time I saw you was in the grave, and I had lived the whole of th","in the sky the nightingale sang and the stars were twinkling with tears of joy for the birth of the child, and a voice spoke from the clouds above. Th","and when you are going through the valley of death, when you are on your own, when you think you are alone, God is with you, you are not alone, he is ","and there was a man walking on the water, and he called to him, 'Master, son of the holy father, I fear thee, I am a wretched man.' And Jesus answered","and the spirit was walking, and I could feel him walking in me. I knew it was his spirit that was in me. And there was a woman there, and I looked dow","[the sound of the sea] is a sort of rhythm; it is the soul of the sea. I am a poet and I see and hear the sea in all its forms; I am a","the memory of an old song I know but cannot find. The voice of a young, beautiful and very famous singer, a French singer, the voice of one of the gre","and the sun is like a little child, and the little child is a star, and the star is a flame, and the flame is a heart, and the heart is the moon, and ","I was in a great place; I felt a very great joy; I saw a great peace and I said, 'Yes, I am in Heaven'! I could see all the heavens, the","I'll find you, my dear, I'll find my dear. My dear is in the north. My dear's in the south. My dear in the east, my dear in the west.","And here I am, looking out through a window of some kind, it is the first window I have ever seen. It's like a glass bell, that you hear the bell in, ","I think there's a small, little piece of metal there, and that's what this is made of. The little metal is a cross-section, I think, of a little bit o","I feel like a ghost, a ghost that has lived too long, and now my flesh has crumbled and my bones have become a cloud that floats away like a ghost. I ","And you are not supposed to touch me. It's not that you can't. It's that you can, but you aren't supposed to. It's very difficult. You can't. But","it was like a fog, but you knew where you were. ...You had the memory of your previous existence. ...You were always on the way, you were always going","and a thought of you, an image of you, my sister, of your beauty, of your flesh, of your soul, and I remember the feeling of it. It was like a bird,","I see the forest...I see the trees...I see flowers...I see a rose. And I see a...a...a...darkness that is not visible...the darkness that is not","...I thought of how it's always the same. The sun rises and the moon sets. It's the same thing in the night as in the day. You see, it's not so differ","and I would like to be a mother. To have a family, and to love them. And then... and then it would be like this: it would be in the dark. It would be","and it's funny because it's in a place in my memory where it doesn't belong, but it is there. And it's in there like a seed and it's waiting to be pla","there's a person who came through the doorway, and you've just seen him. It's like a scene that's being set for you to act in, a scene where a little ","I know that's the problem, but I don't know how to fix it. The truth is I've been in the same situation since I was born. I think I'd better stay with","and the tree. There are two trees. There's a tree with a bird on it, and a tree with the angel. There are lots of trees in heaven. There's one tree wi","I can't do it, I can't do it.... I can't tell you what it's like. I just can't. I've tried. I've looked at it from every angle and","and all the rest of them, I mean. Because you see, they're the ones that have it. I'm going to have it one of these days, too. I mean, there's","I don't know, you have to be careful, you know, what you write down, because I'm gonna tell you, I had a dream, last night, you see, I was up","I want to look at my hands, and then I want to look under the floor. I want to see what's under the floor and I want to get at them with a rake or som","I see the scene now. It's a beautiful, dark, moonlit night and I'm driving. And there's a tree by the side of the road and there's a deer out here.","you're dead, you're dead, they're dead, it's a long way to heaven, I'm not going to hell. There's no way to heaven. There's a way to hell","we are all little gods, aren't we?... we're all gods, we're all little gods... it's very dangerous... to be a god, it's very... it's not...","[Sigh.] I don't know, I think I'm gonna go and join the French army. I'm not a very good person. I don't like the way I live. I'm","and I thought about the people who did the Holocaust and I thought about God and I thought why did God allow that to happen to these people and then I","and it's a good thing, the big thing is a good thing that you're here... [pause] ...and you're not dead, and you're not going anywhere... [pause]. ...","and they were looking for him, and they saw that it was done by the hands of the devil, and they were afraid to take him, for they knew that he was th","all of our troubles in this world, I have to think of a certain man, Jesus of Nazareth, and to think of him as the author of the universe, the Creator","The only one who could have prevented that was the one who was created at that time, the first of the seven in the world, the one who created the worl","I don't know what it's all about. It's a great mystery. I don't really know what it is. The world is a very strange thing, I've been thinking about it","then there's a dark little place where all the hidden things are and the things that people want to forget because they're so ugly or evil or bad, bec","it is like this: the time of life is in the form of a clock, in which we do not know anything about time. In the present, in the form, all time, the f","this is very beautiful, my dear mother, because you are the beautiful light in which we live. I love you. And I want to tell you: I am in the light of","I am not aware, or do not believe, or do not see, the things that are there, that are the reality of the things that I cannot touch. There is no reaso","it was only a few hours ago that I was lying on the bed here in my room and looking up at the sky, at the stars and the moon. And suddenly the moon tu","I feel so much more human, more alive, I feel a lightness in my spirit and a brightness in my thoughts, and my thoughts are flowing freely, and I am h","I don't know, and I don't know what I should know. I am aware of my awareness, my awareness is aware of itself. It's all here, here, here. I know","and it is all one. I am a body and mind in a world of bodies and minds. But it is all that, and that is not enough. It is more than that. The essence","you know I'm trying to find what is the way to live. What is the way of living. How does a human being live, and how can I live, how do I live. I","I could give my life to this. I could give everything to this. It could be a way to know myself, to find out my real nature, what I am, who I am. It","I am so deeply moved by this world, in which I am a part, that I cannot help but think of the words, and I cannot help thinking of the words of this w","you have to give birth to yourself. And not only this, you have to give up your individuality, you have to leave yourself and give yourself to God. Th","and we are in this situation now, that we are on the right road, but we have not arrived. And therefore there is a tremendous, tremendous danger that ","what you can see is the point of view that's in the body and what you can't see is the limit of the point of view. This is an obstacle for the ego tha","the body is not a machine; the body is an integral part of the self. The body is part of the subject and the subject is part of a process. We cannot m","my consciousness is very active. I can feel the different layers of it, like when you look at an onion. At first, the consciousness is very dense and ","I have the impression that there are a lot of different types of thought processes going on all the time in our brain, but they are all operating simu","it's something that I don't know. It's a kind of a paradox, a puzzle, a problem, a mystery...I don't know what it is. But it's there. It","the system of my thinking. It is not that I have a single idea, but I am aware that all the ideas that I have are not coming in a single idea. The sys","I don't know how to say this in a simple way, but I feel that my brain is the body of a spiritual entity. I feel that it is an emanation of the consci","I am very happy to see this light of the world of thought which is so good and beautiful. It's just that I do not know it. I am so glad that there is ","I want to be in touch with the whole cosmos, with everything in it. And in doing that, I want to know the truth of all that. This is what I am doing. ","Now I feel the world is falling away and there's nothing. I don't know how to put it in words. I don't have language for it. But the experience of it ","And I feel a little bit sad. I feel a bit sad when I think of the present and the future and of my place in the world. I see myself as being a part of","And then the world became a kind of playground for the spirit. And what I want to say is that the spirit is the creator of all things. There is no cre","And I was in the midst of all this, I'm in the midst, I'm the centre of all this. And I'm aware of the centre of myself, the centre of consciousness. ","and so now I realize that there's another aspect of the body that is related to the mind, and that is the feeling. Feeling is like this. The body is t","now you have a map, you have a way of seeing. And you have the tools to make it. Now you have an image. And then you have the desire, to want to make ","I'm reading a text: this is my first word: 'a'; 'a' is a vowel, 'a' in Greek is Alpha. I am writing a letter to Alpha and I'm","what the body can do that the brain can't do. And that's why you can't think about the body without being in the body. And what the brain can do that ","the images I am aware of are, or they are, or, or, ... so, there is no image there. It's a very strange thing. So, for me, it seems that","and it's a kind of a rest from thinking...I have a feeling that I can be in the middle of the thought process and at the same time, I can be somewhere","my body is here, I am here, my mind is here, and in that moment it is very, very, very clear, that it is not my mind. And my mind is, it","And this is my name, and the sound of the name is the vibration, the frequency of the sound, of the name, and so there's an energy... a sound is energ","in the present moment, in the midst of the present moment. Everything is present in the present moment: past, present and future. All the other moment","And then I know this is a strange thing, but I'm going to say it, that I want to be able to, I want to know that there is a space within the mind in w","[it] is possible that I am a little bit different. And I donโ€™t know if that is good or bad, but it is something. It is interesting. Thereโ€™s something ","this is the mind, this is the body... the mind is the body. The body is the mind... there is nothing in the world which exists and is not this. This i","my thoughts are trying to fly free. They want to take the form of images, they are trying to do that, they are getting closer and closer to that. They","there is a beautiful pattern of consciousness that has been repeated over and over again, in this very moment. It's like this: there is a beautiful fl","you don't have to understand what I'm saying because I don't know what I'm doing. So I don't have the goal of understanding. I'm just going along with","now, you can just have a conversation with yourself, like you are speaking with someone. There are no rules. You can do whatever you want to. The only","I'm the creator of everything I experience. If I wanted to go through the world, then I would have to say that I am this world. If I want to experienc","so you can understand, it's very important, for example, that you feel, for example... that I am in charge of this machine and that it is possible for","I'm at home with my family, and I'm in the kitchen. I'm making some coffee, and I can't decide on the way I'm going to brew the coffee. So, I","I feel like I'm trying to get to an idea, but I don't know what the idea is. I'm like, trying to find the idea and there's no idea. I'm not","it's like when you are looking at a blank page and you want to write something on it but you don't know how to write it yet. It's not the same thing w","so I'm wondering about the relationship of my mind to the outside world. I'm thinking that maybe my mind is in the same kind of space as the outside w","I remember being in the middle of a stream, a stream of consciousness. I felt the stream and I could hear the stream. The stream is not just words in ","the mind is empty... a state of being. No content, no consciousness, no thought. All the words come and go, but there is no 'thinking'. The words come","there is no connection between the world that we experience and the world that exists. That we think is an illusion. ... That which is the most basic,","the thing is that we can't do this. It's not going to be possible to do it. We've got to go on having things happen. But we've got to have it happen i","there is something I cannot see here, and I cannot see what it is, but I am not sure how to formulate it, so that it would be obvious for the other to","I feel that this is the beginning of something. It is a time of awakening. I feel it as an opportunity for change. I can feel that this session is a c","and then, 'I am' ... and the word 'I' is not an idea, it is a state. The 'I' that has no meaning, that is not a thought, that","the light comes to me here, to the bottom of this cave. It comes, not as a ray of light, but as a spark of consciousness that appears out of the nothi","I don't think I will ever forget this, that there is a universe of energy that is in my body. And I have the freedom to know that. I have the capacity","I am now entering a place of deep silence and of knowing and love. ... This silence is the silence of the field of being, in which all the elements of","the body, as a whole, is a whole of a special nature; a whole which has its own life of its own, and it has an existence of its own. And the whole whi","what do I see when I look at it? It is like a sea of stars, and these are the stars, and what are those stars? Those are the thoughts, the thoughts. T","we're not just living a moment by moment experience. We're living in a stream of consciousness, an ongoing flow that is not a single moment. In fact, ","And there was nothing there. But it was like, and I couldn't make a judgment about it. But it would be like, it's all there. It's all there, it's ther","it was, that I didn't see. There's something that's, it's, there's a thing that's very important that I didn't perceive. The reason that I didn't perc","Now it's like when we're standing and we're looking at an object and we're trying to understand it. We have these thoughts. We're trying to make sense","I want to go home. I have to go home, but I can't. I have no body, but I want to get out of here. And I am not doing that. I can","I am going to a place, but I do not know where I am going, I am going to the place. The place is the body, which I am now. This place has the capacity","I have been thinking about the problem of how to think in such a way as to attain a state of mind that is 'realized' or 'transcended' by some kind of ","I could not find anything. I don't know how to find what I want. I can't see what I want, and yet it is in me, so I cannot find what I don't","And the only thing I can do is to look into the darkness. To look into the abyss. That's what the gods tell us, that's what all the religions tell us,","the state of the world that I have created, I've made myself to be a living being, I've created myself to be in a state of mind that is like a god. I ","and what we call, in the East, the 'self,' which we are constantly trying to identify with our personality, which we call our ego, that is nothing but","I had an idea. If you had a superconductor and if you put in a magnetic field and you cooled down the superconductor, it would keep on keeping. And it","I think it's interesting that we're in a culture, you know, where you have the capacity to do what we do in a lot of other cultures, but, in that resp","the earth, that is to say, the surface of the earth, is actually a dynamic, and it's not something that is stationary; it's not a simple thing; it is ","that's a lot of space to the left, and a lot of nothing to the right, and I feel like the earth is more than the earth, it's something else, and it's ","the only way I can see it is that in the process of evolution, there was a sort of, a natural selection, where, where you have some entities that are,","and that is a problem which the world has got to face up to. What is the proper relationship between the two sides of the brain and the two halves of ","it is as if the world is made by the activity of the mind, and the world is the manifestation of the activity of our mind. And so the mind is active a","The thoughts come and go... One has the feeling of a thought in the mind, but is not able to understand its meaning... It is more like a feeling in th","in the most remote parts of my soul, in the depths of my being, there is a certain inner fire, which is an energy that is at work there, and which, th","It is as though I were a person in a dream, with the same kind of freedom and the same kind of choice as I had in the dream, and now I am waking up in","the whole of your life is a single dream that is itself a single thought. This is a thought of thought. It is a thought that thinks itself. In this si","this is a thing that's a lot like the earth and the other planets. The sun is in the middle of the circle, and the planets are on the outer edges of t","[The voice is] more than the mind. It is not an act of thought but something deeper than thought. It is the voice of life, the voice that is present a","there is this light and the light is everything. And this light is so subtle that it seems to me like a thought, it seems to come from my thought. I f","and that is why I have come to you, in this dream, and why I have made this dream in you, and why you have allowed yourself to be touched by this drea","I know that the time is over. I know that the session has ended. I know that I can no longer see or hear what I see and hear in that time. But still I","my heart was filled with light, and I saw a tree in front of me. And I looked at this tree, and I wanted to climb it, and I tried to climb it with my ","And this is the first moment that I know that I am not a human, I'm just an extension of a process. This is the first time that I have understood that","[A]s soon as I thought about it, I was already there. But it's like I was able to think about it, as if I was thinking about it. There was no separati","... ... the water, the water ... a water which flows down the slope and falls in the heart of the earth ... I am in the water ... and it is light ... ","I know the moon is made of cheese. I know that my body is made of thoughts. I know the thoughts are made of images. I know there is nothing, but the i","it's almost like the body has a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and the body and the mind and the universe have all the time been one. And n","I know that I'm a part of the earth. That is, I know that the earth is my mother. And the earth, in turn, knows me. I'm one of the cells of","you could say that all of us are one. It's not an illusion. I'm not an illusion, because I have the illusion, and you have the illusion. The illusion ","And I had a dream...I was in a world that was not a dream world, and there I saw the world that I was dreaming and I was there in my dream and I saw i","the words of the words of the word... and the word was with God and the word... the word was a flame, a flame... a flame and the word became flame... ","the fire in me. The fire in me is a passion, a love, a desire, a force that burns and is not destroyed, and is not created, and is nothing. The fire o","the mind is the soul which thinks, the soul is the life which loves, the life is the air which breathes, and the air is the fire which burns, and the ","and it's all right to be angry at God, who is good, and God's a lot of things, but it's not right to be bitter. You can be angry about certain things,","and I would have liked to have been at your funeral, but I wasn't there, and I feel bad, that I'm not there. And you know, I feel bad too, because I","[I]t's a little like when I think to myself that I am here and that I am present, that is, I am conscious and alive. I feel a little bit as though I","I see the light of my heart and spirit. I see the light in the eyes of the world, in the eyes and the heart of the world. I see this light in all thin","I'll leave you and go back to the village of my ancestors. It is very beautiful, and very calm. I feel peace. I am happy to see my friends there, and ","I know now what it means to be in the world, I understand that it is a kind of mirror. I can now feel what I was talking about, I have come to know th","I think it is the beginning of the end. The beginning of the ending, and that's why the word is eternal. I have felt this before. It's always been thi","... ... ... ... ... and that's why we have to make the necessary sacrifice for the good of all. I must not allow myself to be led astray by this idea ","this is a form of consciousness, of mind, that is, which is at one and the same time the most concrete, the most real, the most material, and yet the ","I am a mother, I am a father, I am not a father, the father has nothing to do with it. I am not the father, but the father is the mother. But I","it's the way that I have seen in my own life, in my own history, that God is not God at all, and that man is not man at all. But the whole world is","It is the process that I am discussing. I'm talking about the process of the mind. There is no process of the mind, there is only the mind. The mind i","there is a very deep thought in me, a very deep and mysterious thought which I know nothing about. I feel a little pain when I am in that thought. It ","what is the relation between consciousness and matter? I don't know, but I feel that I know. The thing is to have an experience of knowing. I don't me","I was thinking about the role of the individual in the world and how individual thoughts could be related to the world. The world was created by me in","And then I will not be able to be myself, I will not know myself. There will be no self at all. That is, there will be the idea of a self that is the ","and I am at one with all things; there is no separation; no I. There is only a being, that is all. It is all one thing. I am not myself. I am","I'm doing this research in order to learn, in order to find out, about consciousness, in order to become conscious of myself. I am trying to observe m","now what is the relation between the external world and the subject's internal mental world. The subject's mental world, as we saw, is a product of th","I know what I mean. I know what I'm going to mean. I'm going to have to come up with a concept of the concept. A concept of the concepts, you know. A","and the thought that it's possible to be a part of the universe. That if we think it is possible, that there is a reality which has not yet been manif","we all have this life and that life, the one that we live in a way, but is not in our control, the one in which we don't even know if we're doing it,","and we're at the center of the universe now, right? You're at the very core of everything. It's not so much the universe as it is all things. All thin","the universe as a whole is not only finite, but has a definite form, like a sphere. It is like an egg: a definite form. There is no form without a beg","and the number of years, as it turns out, is actually quite a number, and as we are here, we are in a world in which the number of people on the earth","so... I'm trying to find some connection between the human consciousness and the human body, between the brain and the mind, and I find that the human","the sky is so beautiful, the colors of the sky. So, the sky is a blue sky, a blue color, and all around me are mountains, and the mountains are surrou","Now, that's a little bit like a song. A little bit like that. Okay. Now, there's a song coming and then it's changing into something else. Okay, there","the question about whether you have free will is, I don't know, I think I have no free will. But it's a question, I mean, a question to be answered an","the dream is a non-sentient mind, it's a non-sapient, non-cognitive mind. It is an abstract, non-conceptual, non-categorial, non-con","I know, but it is not my memory. It is not my identity. It is just something that is here, in this universe, and in some sense it is just part of the ","The reality is that, in some ways, I am not an individual and not a self in the way that we normally think about it, or imagine. I am a network. I am ","and then it is no longer a question of the body. It is not the body which is the soul, which is the energy, which is what we are. I am this energy whi","my own personal evolution, it seems, has always been guided by a single thought, which is a thought which is essentially about love and which is essen","(a) whole idea, which I had in mind as a young man, but never really realised, to become an integral part of life, and, in fact, to become life. This ","it's all happening in a world that is already there and that is already going on, but we are making it our own. And so it's not something that we can ","[a]lmost all of it is a sort of 'conscious' thing, because it is based on a sort of perception of consciousness... almost like an internal model of co","this is an illusion of time, of space, of existence. And there is no such thing as a self. There is no such thing. So I don't know how this can be the","I know I have to be the center of the universe. That's where my being is, and that's the point of my existence. There is no one else; there is only me","it's almost like you've entered an alternate state of consciousness, because it's really difficult for you to analyze yourself in this way, you're not","And it's about time I'd become an active and interested and concerned and involved human being. It's about time that I'd become more than a passive pa","[I have] been going around for many years and many years ago, I was a spiritual being. I was a human being. I have been in a number of incarnations in","The 'I' and the 'you' are two names for one person, and I am not the one that is this 'I', but the one that it is. My consciousness, my mind","in fact, a lot of this is to do with the mind and the way it's organized. And that's how the mind works, how it works. The mind is a complex instrumen","there is nothing outside of us... in us there is nothing... in the void, there is nothing; it is empty... nothingness, which is not nothing. There is ","I am in this room, and I have the feeling that I am going to die, and that my life is about to end, that there is nothing more to do, and nothing more","the experience of the world, the perception of the world is an experience of being; an experience of a world without form, of pure space. So the world","I see a huge tree, the same tree, that was in the last moment, I mean that was in my mind, and it is moving toward me. And it's just coming toward me,","I have no reason to exist. I'm not here to do anything in particular. I'm here just to be, as you say. I'm a free being, I exist because I exist.","and this is my whole universe. I am my whole universe, I am everything that is, I am the whole universe, and the whole universe is me. I am all, and a","this is a part of me, not mine. It's a part of something. And, for example, the body, as we know, is a part, it's not the whole thing.","a lot of this has to do with the fact that my thought is not a thought of my being, it is my thought, in my mind, it is not of my being. And in my","And what is this life? It is a series of successive images that one perceives and that one thinks of as successive, but that one cannot say whether th","that it would have been possible, even possible, if it were not for the fact that the human being is a machine. And so it would have to be that I woul","it seems to me that the brain of a person has the properties of a computer. The computer has a lot of registers, and we have the registers of the brai","the sum total of these different possibilities that we are looking for and trying to make sense of in a more or less conscious manner and that will ma","I remember the day we had a son... that is to say I had a son. And so my son's life is the same as my life, so it's a little more complicated than tha","the sense of existence is like a shadow or something like that, that it exists as an entity, as an entity that is itself not. It is just a phenomenon ","I am now becoming aware of this. Now I can understand the connection. Now I know that we can create a connection. It's an amazing thing. That connecti","the dark matter of the universe is not the same as the dark matter in our bodies. I think we have the same kind of structure, same kind of reality. Bu","I don't know what I want. I think I'm being led. There's a certain freedom that I have. I'm not being led by anything, and I'm not leading anything. B","[and I remember] that the time is divided by four, that the space is divided by two, that the movement is divided by eight, and that the light is divi","it's not a bad idea to have a lot of thoughts that are just outside of awareness, because the only way that we can get at the essence of what we're th","I can see myself standing here in this room, I'm sitting here, and I'm writing. But I also know that I'm not sitting here and that I'm writing now. Th","so I'm thinking about the thing that is in me, which is the spirit, that's the thing that's in the center of me. It's my body and I'm part of the body","a kind of deep darkness is the same as what you perceive, so the darkness is the background, and the background is darkness, so it is the same, so the","I see that a lot of my thoughts are related to the present, they're not in the past or future; it's a kind of present. The present in relation to the ","[the mind is] an entity or a form which is created by the self, an entity or form which is being created by the mind, and that entity which is created","I can't get any more than one thought at a time. I have to, because I can only deal with one thing at a time...I have no awareness of time as we would","it's almost like I'm seeing the future. And I'm saying things to myself, and it's almost as if I'm saying them to somebody else, but there's no person","but you have to understand, when I'm with you I'm like you, you know... I'm like a robot that just... it is just a mechanical thing, and when you look","I want to take a little time to think about the nature of the self and the relation of the self to the external world. I have a picture in my mind of ","it's like being a tree. You're in the center of the tree. And the whole world is a forest, and you have a perspective over the whole forest. You have ","I'm listening to a story of the story of a story of a dream that I had. I was listening to it and the voice said something and I realized I was saying","and if I didn't know about the possibility of these other planes of existence, I would have to conclude that what is happening is that I'm experiencin","and then it happened again, and it was so interesting, because I realized I was, that I was the source of the event, not an object of the event. I rea","but there is still this constant search for what is to be found and this constant search, in the process, for a form of knowledge, which is to be held","the next moment, we have to turn around. It's a turning point in our existence. Now we have to take the next step, and we don't know where it will lea","in this moment I have a picture of a circle, a circle which has a center and circumference, but not the interior. And this picture is not of a circle ","And I wonder about the nature of our relationship with our creator. I wonder about the exact meaning of the concept of life, or the nature of the natu","I am a being of light and I am an expression of the eternal consciousness. I am a creation of the consciousness. I have the capacity to be anything an","I'm seeing the universe as a fractal, or a whole in a whole, and a whole in a whole. And this is the same as the universe as an information flow. It's","so when I think about how many people in this universe think about what is happening here and there, all the time, and how they relate to each other a","and that's how I came to be in that moment. And if you look at the human form, the human body, you can see that we have all the organs, all the organs","what does it mean to be a child? What does it mean for the universe to be in a child-like state? What is the universe's intention, purpose? To create ","and then he has this enormous body, he has all these legs and arms, and he's running. And then, of course, he has no sense of direction, and so he's r","and a woman in this city, who has an aura, and she is a sort of a soul, and she lives inside this body, and this body is just a vessel for her, and sh","there is no death, and that is the way things are. And I am an image of that, but I am not a thing, I'm not a form, I'm just energy. And","my body is the object of my thought. It's the object that I use, that I play with. It is an object that I put on my mind to see what it is, what it","And then I wonder what it is that I want to say and that I say in order to know. That I want to know is that the thing that is in me is in the world. ","And you think, 'Oh, this is my world, I'm living in a world', and you're so happy to be part of the world. And then you look around and you see everyt","And then I went through a big storm with a lot of people that I knew, I had a lot of arguments. I did this, but that is not the same thing as thinking","we are very much at the mercy of the things that we think are true... So what we have to do, in order to escape this vicious cycle of thought, is to q","[it] was a man in the image of a great teacher, the only one. I think that's the best. It was a great teacher. What was the name? You can say Buddha","a question that I have asked myself many times is this: the self, which is the sum of all experiences, all thoughts, all memories, is a single entity ","It's like a story I'm telling myself and I'm not sure if I have to take it seriously or not. I can take it seriously. I can think: 'okay, you can have","but I know that's the first step. To know how to make the body aware, to know how to have it be aware of itself, because the mind is an object of the ","there's a certain thing that's coming to me. It's coming from a certain depth of consciousness that's not necessarily aware of itself as something tha","it's all very well to have all that, but it's just the way it is. It's not like you have any control. You're not able to control it. You can't say","that is, my thoughts, as they come, as they pass through my head, and as I realize them. In that moment, they are real. In the next moment, they may n","I am so afraid that I am afraid of dying. And I think that's why I am afraid. And that's why...I don't want to live. And yet, I still live.","And we have the problem of the problem. It's a big one, this problem. It is not only the problem of my body, or my mind, but it is the problem of ever","and there are so many people out there and I am part of the crowd of people that are walking along and there is so much more to this than is known and","I can't let go. I can't drop myself into that emptiness. I can feel my breath. I'm not my breath. My breath is just a physical fact. I am not a","And if that is what the universe is, then you have to make it that way. Because this is what I'm learning. I'm learning that the universe is a process","it is like I'm a fish and my mind is the sea... I can't swim with the whole mind. I swim with parts of the mind that have a function: memory, thinking","my brain is moving through these thoughts and I can sense them and feel them. And there's a sensation and I feel the sensation of my brain moving thro","The human mind is not a computer but a complex system of processes. The processes of the mind are not programmed, like a computer. They are self-organ","I remember when I was in grade 6, in grade 7, grade 8, grade 9. I started to have this... I felt like I had to work on myself. I","and a woman I knew, this woman has a certain ... and I don't know what the reason was but I knew she had this feeling that I was too young for her and","I think it's important to realize that when we are in a state of relaxation and are willing to surrender into the experience of the present moment, ou","I see a car that's moving in a circle in my head. It's like a dream. The dream is an experience of the universe. It's a movement, like a wave. It's","I'm lying here with my eyes closed. I'm doing this to get in touch with the source of my consciousness, the source of the mind. I'm not aware of a lot","and it's all happening right now. It's the only moment, right? I mean, even in the past or future, it's all only this moment. So it's all pure conscio","It's like I have a computer inside my head and that computer can make the computer make the computer and so forth and so forth. So then there is the c","I can be the Creator of my own destiny, I can create myself. And I can create in myself that which is already there, but I can't see it, because I hav","what does it mean that we have no freedom? Or is it rather that we don't want to be free? Is it true that we don't even have the option to have freedo","the soul, the real me, the whole of me is within this, the physical body, so if we could live in a world that is made of pure soul and pure spirit and","It's always my own truth that I'm afraid to say out loud. In other words, that is what is the cause of my being afraid. My fear is that I'm a liar. I","I don't understand why God would not be willing to go down and live among us. It seems like a real contradiction. I don't think God is like us. I don'","this is the essence of all things, the heart of all things. When I was in the jungle I realized the importance of this. When I tried to do anything, I","I feel very calm right now, and my body is quiet and calm and relaxed and open and ready to receive. I am not pushing anything out of my body and I am","we have this life. There is this life. That is the first thing I have come to learn. In fact, it's a bit like an opening into a great, great mystery, ","the self is a metaphor, a way of speaking, a way for one to think and communicate. It is not a real entity. It is a concept, an image of a real entity","this is what I'm doing: I'm being here and I am aware, I am a human being, I am aware of everything that's going on in me and that's around me. I","I'm in the middle of thinking and suddenly I don't feel the thinking anymore, and I'm in a state of being, which is like a flow experience. I am the f","I'm a good listener and I'm also a good observer. I can get in the state of pure observation. It's a state of great clarity, it's a state where there ","we have a sense of the world, the body, and the universe. There is a sense of unity in it, and also a sense of disunity. Everything has an individual ","I just see the man. He's the one who makes me the man. And he has this very, very high power in this energy field. And the more that I have that energ","a strange, abstract thing, of a kind which is difficult to express. This thing, though it has no content, is so abstract that it is almost not there, ","I was talking about the quality of life. I was wondering if it was possible to live a life that is good for me and not good for the other species that","the power to know the inner, the inner reality of things and to be the inner reality itself... the inner reality is the power to know things as they a","I remember when I was young and I was, say, five, and I wanted to go to the bathroom, I had to ask a question of God, which was that I was in the situ","Now, I'm in the presence of another kind of person...one who is so strongly tied to the present and is able to realize what it is to be in the moment.","the pain of losing an eye and an arm. You can see that, and then you can see the whole body, and you can feel your body as an object, and then your bo","it is possible for the individual to experience and to live within a state of mind of total openness to the totality of all his being in a state of to","a thought about something in the world that we are interested in, the thought being in terms of the process of knowledge. When we say 'I know this' we","And now, you know, I've got this feeling that if I don't continue, if I stop, that there will be a terrible feeling inside of me. I could call this fe","I don't know what this thing is, I can't touch it, and I don't know its properties, and I know that this is what I am looking for. It is a thing that","I can't say anymore. I have to have a pause. I'm very much on the edge. I think I'm about to collapse. I feel like my body is changing. I see this","I don't know what to say... I can't find words... I just... I don't know... I am thinking about it. I'm just looking at it... it's like I'm","and I think I see that you are already in there, as if you're already in my body. I don't know why I'm saying that, but I know I'm saying it, that","And I am already a part of this, it's already like a dream, and the dream is the reality. I already have the memory, which I am, as my mind, of what I","this is the same. There is no difference between me and you. I am you and you are me. We are both the same thing and the same thing is different from ","it is like a part of your mind is lost, and you're only left with the half of what your mind was before. And if you feel that half, you're not really ","that the thought that it's necessary for the human body to have a constant temperature, but that in fact that's an illusion, that there's nothing but ","I just had this dream in which I had a very strong, very strong feeling of the presence of another person. I remember seeing that person and having th","myself, who is an 'I,' has no body. It is simply a part of this body that is the 'me' that thinks, feels, and senses, and all the rest of","The sense of light that surrounds the world and the body and the mind. It's there, it's this, it's not just the thing you can see, it's more than the ","now I remember the first time I came to you, the first time we spoke. I don't know exactly when it was, but I can see it in my mind. And it was not in","I don't know what's happening to me... I don't know why I'm here and what I'm doing here. I don't even know that I'm here. It's very strange.","there's something happening when we are. But it's not happening in the way we usually think of it. I mean it's not that it's a different sort of event","I am here, I am here, and I am a part of the whole. There is nothing I can do but be myself. I am not a separate being but I am myself and there is","it is as if I'm coming back to this place, that I'm a living entity that is present. In that moment, I am able to see myself from that vantage point. ","in the future there will be no more space. Space will become empty because all the beings and beings will not have a form and space will become empty,","the first thing that I noticed, the first thing I became aware of when I opened my eyes, was this sense of the material world, of the reality, the sol","now I am seeing a scene of a woman and a man who are walking on a beach. This is a scene that I saw when I was in Hawaii. It is a scene where they hav","my life as it is. I am living in a strange world. I have to live in this world because it has to happen, and I am part of that happening, but I am not","And here I was, the other day, in my kitchen, and I was cleaning up, and I came to a point where there was this tablecloth on the floor, and this was ","And there's a man. He's been dead for 40 years. He's just lying there. The thing is, he is alive. He has to be alive because he's so intelligent","[Sitting] there, I thought a lot. I thought about what I wanted to be. What I wanted to do. And what I was going to do. I thought that I was going","I remember one night that we were going to go to a party and I was on my way home when a man approached me and he asked me what my name was. I told hi","and now the sun has risen and I'm still awake, I'm lying here in bed and I've got a strange thought and it's like the words are on their own and I'm s","I was born in a world of sound. And I have lived in it. And I want to live in it. I'm afraid of it. It's a thing that's gone beyond me.","I see this man, he is like a man made of the same material as I am, and he has the same thoughts, and the same fears, and the same aspirations and the","and then the stone is taken back by the power, and the stone is put in a box, and the box is put in another box, and each box has a name, the name of ","the words you hear, they are like the words of the universe. When we say that we hear the words of God, that is to say that we are in the world of God","and in that sense he is always the same. The one who has a past is the one who has an essence. And the one who lives in the present is the one without","the child is here and there, in a way that cannot be grasped by the mind. It is like a star which moves in the depths of the universe. It cannot be to","the thought is... not a thought at all... there is only thought and the thought itself is... not itself... and the thought is not thought at all and t","and then there was the whole world. The whole world and I in it and all the things which made me happy. And then it was as if the whole world was spin","it was not at the beginning that we were given this choice, that I have a choice, that we have a choice to exist, that we are not to exist. There is t","the whole is in the first half and the second is the whole. The whole is the whole, the first half of the whole is the second half of the second half,","the big wheel turning inside of me, a big wheel of life spinning, a big cosmic wheel that has a little wheel of life inside it, and within that little","the memory that I had of being an adult, I didn't remember the things that were happening as an adult. I remember the things when I was a child, that ","in my life, I have never experienced anything like this, like this strange situation, with which I am in constant contact and which I am constantly in","there is something that I have been thinking about in the last years that is very strange and that is in the center of everything. It is the idea that","and I'm not sure what the question is here, the point, the objective. It is that I feel I have been so much in the grip of the moment, so much in the ","And here I am. In the middle of a room with you. And I can feel that there are many doors and ways of being, of existence, in this universe, and I hav","The relationship between the observer and what is observed is very clear in the present moment. There is no separation between the observer, the obser","this is the same, but on a deeper level. The deeper level, this is a very difficult concept. And we have to go a long way to understand what it is. Wh","and that is just one of the many things, there are many ways of being, many ways of existing, many ways to be... in this particular one we are here. A","I see the big city, I see the little city. There's the city of my mind. The city of the mind is the city of the heart. The city is made of the heart o","and a hundred years ago a woman was born on this planet. And that's what I'm doing right now, is a hundred years of her life. The last thing that happ","[I]t is clear that the way a person experiences the world, the way he understands it, is not a single thing. It's not just one kind of language. And t","The other people that I think I know are the people I know by sight. I know them, but I don't know them. I see them. And I say to myself: 'Here is","and suddenly the face of a young girl appears, her eyes open, her head lifted to heaven, with a ray of light in her eyes and a smile on her lips; then","the blue sky in the morning, the sun rising in the east, the evening sunset, and the moon. These are the four seasons of life. And I can see how they ","The day after the last session I was feeling a strange lightness, as if my body had been removed. This has happened to me before. I have the feeling o","The essence of the whole thing, the reason for everything, is the 'I'. Everything we are, everything we do, everything we are aware of, everything tha","The word 'feminine', the word 'masculine' come to me and I say, 'femininity'. I am thinking about a feminine. And I say, the word '","there are two things, which are, in this situation, the opposite, and the things that are opposite, I see them as being the same, because they are not","the thought that this is a living being with a body, a being in the world. We are not just a body in the world, a body that has a mind, a being that h","I'm having a conversation with myself. And that conversation is having a conversation with me. And I don't know what I'm saying to myself or what is s","I think of a time, a very special time. It's a moment, a flash, a flickering of a moment, and it's the moment of being born. I think of the moment","the movement, it is going from point to point, not like the body, which is a whole. There is a point at which you are and a point at which I am and I ","I have no idea what this is going to be like. This is what I've never experienced, never known. And it's impossible to know. It's not a question of kn","the same experience that has the potential of being either pleasant or painful. That is, the experience of 'being' itself can be either pleasant or pa","and now the thought comes. I have to do something that I cannot do, but the thought keeps coming, and I cannot do it. It is like a string of thought. ","and I suddenly had this image that a piece of wood was flying towards me and it was striking me and that I was being pushed back. And then the thought","we were thinking, the water was beginning to take up the whole body... and I was having a vision of myself becoming a cloud of mist, a mist, a fog, wh","this is the place where we are, now we are coming here. This is the place of the center and the outside... we are entering the place of our dreams, ou","I think it is my job to live with my mind, and to have a relationship with it. I am the center, the mind is the center, and there is a flow of conscio","I remember, I remember, I remember the events of this moment, this instant of my experience, and I remember, this memory itself, I remember my memory ","and so I have this moment to create this space inside of me, and this moment of being with myself, which I am aware is not really me, but I am aware t","[I] am standing in the midst of the universe and I see my being. I see the space in which I am and I feel the space and I feel that I am a space. And","and this is the present. This is my experience. It's like an arrow: an arrow, a flame, an instantaneous, unending flame. A flame, it's like a flame. A","and the feeling of being part of an immense mass... like a huge mass of water or a cloud or a wave... and then I realize that it is not a mass, it is "],["and then I said 'no', and he said 'why not?'. And I said 'I don't want to do it' and then I thought 'but if I don't do it,","I'm thinking of a friend that's dying, or he's dying and I don't know it and I'm not going to find out. And I'm just thinking about that. It's a","it's like a little something that's been trapped inside all my life. I'm trying to think of some way to make this world a better place, a place where ","I know you're listening...I know you've heard it all...I know that you've heard the rumors about me...I know I'm not a very good person to you...I kno","I was thinking that I had some memories of being on that stage...I was up there...and I remember...there was a...a lot of people there. And I remember","and then I guess we were thinking about how our dad would be there for us, how we'd be there for our dad, and how much we love him, and how sad we'd b","there were no more words on the page, and I don't know whether they were what I wrote down or what I wrote on my own, but there was no more of those w","I am just not sure how to respond. I mean, I'm going to respond to the situation. But I'm not sure that it's appropriate for me to respond the way tha","I'm kind of sick at the moment, and I feel that I'm kind of a jerk. I feel like I'm not doing what I should be doing, which is to say, I'm","I had to sit here and wait to die. That was the worst part, waiting to die. I wanted to die because I thought it would be more peaceful and I could re","I'm not doing anything with my time. I think I've been kind of busy, like doing other things. And then I'll also do other stuff like just going to wor","I think it's because I'm a teacher, I have this training and I have this role that I'm very aware of my thoughts and my actions, and I can think about","I've been feeling kind of blah lately. I know it's probably related to my work and the fact that I've been in a weird job for a really long time now. ","the kids are playing some board game at the moment, and I'm not really sure what to do about it... but I mean, maybe if I just try to just... be more ","what if I was a professor and I had to prepare for a class. What if the class is a lot of work and I'm not comfortable with that. What if I'm not real","and I wonder why the first time I said it wasn't that good. It's not because I don't know how to do it, because it's easy enough, but I don't know wha","I wonder if they do [tutor] a lot of that because they're just like, you're not the right fit, or if they just want to keep you there until they have ","what do I want to do to make money? What if I did a tutoring session? I could maybe even do a live tutoring session, or even do a tutoring session for","so, uh...I've been thinking a lot about that and it's just kind of like...I'm not really sure how to approach it. I was thinking like...maybe...maybe ","okay, so what I'm trying to do is, I'm trying...I'm trying to see if there's any ways that I can reduce the amount of time it takes me to get work don","I'm doing a lot of thinking today, about my past and about how I want to change and grow and get better at stuff that I want to get better at. Like my","it's like you can see the patterns and I know that the pattern is going to come out eventually, but like I can feel that it's like it's not ready yet ","yeah. I can't seem to have a good work life balance right now because it's so hard to get in a productive state and then just keep it up, because it's","[I]f there's any way that I could reduce or decrease anxiety, I guess I'd want to do that. It's something I've struggled with in the past. And I think","the most important thing in a relationship is to understand what the other person needs and wants, and to be able to communicate that effectively. And","And I was like, I have a friend who does some of this, and I feel like that was an interesting way to try to do that, but also like, I don't know if I","I feel so stupid and lazy. It's like I'm so bad at everything. I just don't know how to do it right and I feel like I'm falling behind and I'm not eve","it's like that one time, my boyfriend, I think he got in a fight or something with his cousin. Like, he was really really mad. And I was like, 'I don'","you're just like this person. And she's just a jerk, but she's actually not a jerk. You're just like her. I've seen her in real life and I'm like,","I really want to do well on the test and it's a lot of pressure because I've been studying really hard for it. I don't want to mess it up because I fe","so like if you go on a date with someone who's a terrible date or you're trying to go on a good date with someone and you end up being on a bad date a","I'm at this gym, and I just came in the door and I'm like, I got like a month left until the end of my lease, I can't believe how fast time is going","and I just remembered, like, I haven't even seen my parents in over a year and they're, like, they're really not doing well right now. They're dealing","and that I can't think of anything. I'm going to go to the gym and probably workout for 45 minutes or an hour. I'm thinking about trying to find like ","I'm going to go back to sleep. I can't believe I went to sleep with this many beers in my body. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't have to lea","okay, so that was an interesting idea that I had this morning. Like, I had to get up at like 5:30. I had to walk the dog, I had like a","yeah, I don't like the way that people treat each other sometimes and I wish people would be a little more respectful, you know, it's like, I'm just l","and we just want to be together and stuff, we donโ€™t even think about anything else. Iโ€™m so excited because like my boyfriendโ€™s mom is gonna be there, ","you know you have to eat right? Like you don't wanna get any kind of illness, but sometimes you just forget. Like you don't eat enough food, but you s","you know, I don't know, I can't wait for summer to come, I think it's like, I don't think it's healthy to be alone. I think it'll be a","my mom and I went out last night and I was super drunk, I think it was a 6 pack or something like that, but it was pretty fun, but I feel bad because ","yeah i i just realized that i could've gotten the first day off work because of the quarantine so i'm just gonna just take the day off and play games ","and then i went to a party with my friend, and he just took off in a car with another girl, i think, and she was like, oh my god, this is so great,","I was watching some kind of video with my friend in like a pool, and then he's like, 'I think you like me,' and I was like, 'oh my gosh, like","you know i've had a really bad day at work today so I'm just, like, venting here. I got mad at this person who's, like, a huge asshole, but he","[the narrator] was like [the actor] but like a robot. She's a robot and she was like this, like this, it was just like this. I don't even know.","Iโ€™m trying to think of the last time I saw you. I mean like when we were on like a date or something like that... I donโ€™t know if you remember or not,","the name that you can't say the name is that you're a girl and I'm a boy and it's like what, we're both gay but in our heads like we're in like a","this is like a bad dream, I was talking to someone about this like, they told me like, my dog like had a baby. I don't have a dog, so I'm like,","thereโ€™s so many things in my head all the time, like, and I think thatโ€™s like how people talk to themselves like theyโ€™re talking to a person and itโ€™s ","I'm sitting on my couch, my mind's buzzing with so many thoughts. I just think of what my mind thinks of it, but it's just like, I'm sitting, and I th","and then we're just like, 'yeah, we're just going to be like that', it's like we're just so like, 'I'm gonna be like that' for like, oh","okay I'm gonna tell you I love you and I'm gonna be so glad when you get married. It's really hard to get over it. I can't help it. I love you.","and then I realized that I wasn't supposed to be doing this, I was supposed to be, you know, trying to solve this problem. I don't know. It's like, I ","I'm going to give it a go and see if it works for me and if it makes a difference. And then I'll let you know, and see what you think of it, because I","uh, this is interesting. I'm not sure what's happening. I don't really know. I'm gonna ask a question. Uh, I've had this thing where I'm like, you","yeah, I was just thinking about my time in school and how I'd really just want to be a little bit more kind. I've been on here for a bit and I've had ","oh yeah I'm trying to think of like the last time that I watched a movie and I was really into the movie. Like a really good movie, like, like a reall","I have a really funny story to tell. It's about my best friend and this is the day we're supposed to hang out, but I can't. It's a thing where he's li","a friend of mine. I was wondering. What if I... I was thinking. What if they had like a really good friend that like, they were really close. And that","so my whole day was pretty boring i'm gonna try to go out tonight because it's not really a big deal but i guess i'll probably just hang out with my f","you know itโ€™s not the same...I mean itโ€™s not like i donโ€™t miss my home, but...you know it was just something you do for yourself, not that you really ","[19:56:38.800] [41] the car's making a weird noise [19:57:17.533] [","I had to think about what I wanted to say next. And then I was like, 'I don't want to say anything. I'm just going to talk to myself.' So I was like","I'm not feeling so good. I think I have a cold. I haven't been feeling my best lately. My head hurts. I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning all","the way he felt... like... he didn't... know what the fuck he wanted to be in life... but... it was... like... it wasn't... a thing that... really... ","it's like... the worst part is I feel like I'm gonna start feeling like it's never going to be over. I feel like that's always gonna be a part of me, ","you don't really want to think about it. You don't want to think it, but you don't want it to be true, like, it's like, you don't know. You","like something was in my ear and it was like my heart was beating really hard and then like I started to get kind of sick because like there was like ","i guess it's like how they say that when we sleep we have a lot of dreams and our subconscious is like expressing itself through our mind and through ","I'm looking at the text and it's saying that you have to be able to accept it and accept the feeling that you have that you have no control of your th","Iโ€™m so happy for you, and Iโ€™m so proud of you, and it feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I just canโ€™t even imagine. And itโ€™s so exciting, to","I am feeling like I need to be more in touch with my body. I am feeling like maybe I need to have like a spa day where I can just be with my body and ","the body's natural healing powers, you know, like what's called the placebo effect. And I've seen this happen, you know, just with a simple conversati","the voice in my head, it's been really helpful to me because it's just kind of the one place that I can feel like, 'Oh, I'm just talking to myself. It","okay so I'm lying on the floor again. I'm laying on the floor and I'm thinking I'm gonna get up and try to get my legs a little stronger. I'm gonna go","a bit of the memory is there. Like my parents and my ex parents, I think my grandma and my grandmaโ€™s husband, I think, were very abusive. And there is","and I'm like, it's not really something that's gonna come out and you know like, it like, that's like it's like that's gonna be a little bit of a shoc","I was thinking that, you know, there's like a certain group of people where they're just really big into like being vegan and stuff like that, like, l","my body is still. I feel my body. It's like my muscles are loose. I'm still moving a little. But I feel like I can do that. I feel like my body is","I feel like there's something inside me. I feel like there are all these parts of me that I'm like trying to fight because they're trying to take cont","I'm sitting here, and I'm trying to find the words that make sense and can help me to come out of this and maybe do something about it. Because it's b","I have a dream... that I will go back to my room and... I'm feeling this feeling of not knowing what to do... of not being sure of the outcome of what","And I can't really trust my judgment. I'm just trying to say, like, what you're trying to tell me. I'm like, I'm trying to find my own way out of","the past is past, and the past is not a source of conflict... but I do have a tendency to relive it... and it makes me feel anxious and confused... I ","and then I think it's like the pain I had in my arm, you know? I think that's the reason, the pain in my arm was probably because of that. And then I'","and that's how it is for me to feel when I am doing this and it's very frustrating. But it's also like a little bit of a release that's going on becau","[i]n my mind, I'm sitting on a boat, on a lake, and the sun is shining. It's really a good feeling to be like that. Then, there's a","and I feel really bad about that, like you know, I'm just so mad right now because I'm just like, okay, you know, we're supposed to be, we're all supp","you know I don't know if I can do it... it's just... I'm like... I'm not sure if I can actually do it, but I know I want to try. I","I just realized that my boyfriend is like so many of my friends and I that I've been doing so much that I'm like so many other people that I've been g","I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older, but I definitely feel like, when I'm in my early twenties, I have so much more to live for. I hav","it's very sad. I just don't really know. I don't think that it's gonna get better for me. I think it's just gonna get worse. And I'm just really stres","I wonder if, like in some other species, is there a sort of natural immunity that's sort of ingrained in our brains, or at least in our minds, that ma","I donโ€™t know if this is a bad thing or not, but I get to a point where I think, โ€˜oh my gosh, this is itโ€™ and then I go โ€˜this isn","I'm tired of feeling like a coward. Like I'm not enough. Like I should be better. I should be doing more. But I don't have the energy to do anything. ","I think this is what I have to do, I have to say it out loud. I think it's just that I'm so afraid of doing it. I have so much fear. I have","I've always wanted to have a home with a garden, and I have a small garden, and it's been very nice. I've been working in the garden a lot because of ","and it's also just a sense of being, that's the thing that, that's what, it's a sense of, of like, a sense of like being. I have been feeling like","I'm trying to come up with a way to... I have been thinking a lot about... how do I want to feel in the next week, how do I feel about my health, my b","I'm not a fan of people that can't handle criticism. They are either very immature or they've been so programmed to be scared of criticism that they'r","I donโ€™t think thereโ€™s much that is going to change or be done in this situation, because I donโ€™t think that anyone is actually going to make changes o","the fact that I don't see myself as a woman is part of the reason I don't have a lot of empathy for others' experiences. I just don't see it from a wo","I'm so tired of feeling like a bad person, because it's something I can't change. I've been like this for years. It's been hard to find an outlet to r","I have a lot of things to be grateful for that are quite random but it's not that I'm grateful for them, it's just that I think that it's hard to be g","and that was the beginning of my panic and my anxiety about a lot of different things that could happen to me. I don't know what would be the worst ou","you know, it's not that I'm not working on the goal of losing weight. I just know that I have other priorities and that I'm working on those prioritie","I feel like I'm kind of stuck in this rut or in this place, and I feel like maybe I can get out of it, but I don't know how. I don't think I","I think it would be difficult to do this alone, I would probably want to have someone else there. But I don't think I'd be comfortable doing this with","and you know like this is my main goal is to become like you know like a like an artist or whatever and i i guess my main goal right now is to get out","and then I think that's great, like if you like a song or something and it's like it's something that you kind of just like you know, it's like, you k","I have been working a lot on my mental health and self care because I am in a very intense place right now, and I have been trying to do that in a ver","I'm going to tell you about this really bad experience I had in high school and it was with my roommate. We were in this apartment that my parents had","and then I think about how I could be more prepared for my job interview. Like, what are some of the common questions that might come up? Like, do you","the pandemic has been hard. The stress of that has been hard, but there was something else that was really interesting to me in terms of how the pande","I've been having this problem where I'm constantly stressed, and it's really been affecting my overall well-being, and I'm just trying to figure out w","I think that I should try to do some sort of follow-up with my parents, and see how things are going for them. They're going through some ups and down","and I don't think that's going to happen, at least not anytime soon. I'm not saying that's completely impossible, but I feel like I'm more focused on ","and I thought about my friend. I was thinking about how he's in the Army, and I was really worried about him. I thought about how he was deployed and ","I think I'm feeling a bit restless, so I'm going to try to stay still. I'm feeling the urge to move around, but I'm trying to push that down. I think ","so I think it would be good for him to talk to his teacher as soon as possible. And I think I'm going to try to set up a meeting with her. And maybe j","I was just thinking about my friend, you know, because she's going through some personal stuff, and I was like, 'You know, you don't have to do this a","it's about the relationships. It's a bit of a sensitive topic for me. It's like a friend, you know, a friend of mine. We've known each other since we ","and the fact that people are just... like, they just can't connect with people. It's just really frustrating because you know, I want to be in a relat","I've just realized that you need to get your phone back to your account because the other one might not be compatible with your other accounts and you","I can see how if I were to ask someone to play chess or go, the whole process would be a lot easier. Because then they could just say like, 'oh, well ","and I feel like I'm starting to understand why some people are so drawn to certain things, like certain books, or certain hobbies, or certain places. ","I've got to make this video because I think it's kind of important, I think people would want to see it. And I feel like if I don't share it with my f","what is it, like, my worst memory? Oh, I don't know, the worst thing is, I was in a car accident in high school. Like, it was just one of those","so I donโ€™t think the algorithm that the LLM has, that the AI has, is really the thing that is the key thing that is driving these outputs. Itโ€™s more l","And if they want to try and make it seem like they're being reasonable, right? It's like, yeah, I'm just saying, I'm like, I've been trying to think a","like, I've been like, like, I have a question, why does it keep happening to me, but then also not, not... like, it's, it's like, I don","and I'm like, 'oh, okay, let's do it. I mean, I'm gonna do it, it's not a big deal. It's not a huge deal. It won","I think that they've all been really good. Like, I don't have anything to complain about. I mean, I think that I, I think I had a really good job. I l","I think that a lot of times when people don't like someone, they will pretend to like them, even if they're friends, it's just like, I'm trying to be ","I know. Like when you see something, you're like, 'Oh, that looks like what I used to do when I was a kid,' and you're like 'Oh yeah, it's","[I]t's not too bad, but I'm thinking of like, changing the story from like, you know, having them go and like, go to the ocean or something like, go","you know, if we just like, go really really slow, and you can be like, well I don't know, I don't, I don't even know, I just want to ask","and I'm just wondering, how is the process of generating these ideas going to be like in this scenario? Because I'm going to try and imagine a way to ","I wonder what it would be like to have a new life. You know, I've always felt that my life's been so... stuck in some way, like I'm always doing the s","I'm writing something, and then it's just like, oh, yeah. So I'm doing that a little bit. So yeah, I'm just doing that. I'm just, I'm","like I said, my daughter just graduated from college, she's moving into her apartment on Friday, so I'm actually trying to figure out the logistics of","we should go for a walk...I really need to get out of here and get some fresh air...it's been a really long day. I've been working really hard on this","And then I have that kind of feeling, like you know, if you're in that sort of thing, it's like, oh, I can't do that again, that was a little bit","I just feel like Iโ€™m... like I donโ€™t... I donโ€™t like to be told what to do. I donโ€™t really like being told what to do, you know, I like to","like that I am in the car right now, I'm driving in the city and it's very stressful, it's just so bad, I'm so stressed out that I just like have this","yeah and like I was saying earlier, I don't know, it's just been a weird day and I'm not even sure why I'm doing this. I guess I'm trying to figure ou","uh, that's what i don't, that's not what i don't understand, but that's what, that's a funny, you know, that's kind of like when you're,","the new ones are always different. I have been waiting for them to come out for a while and I feel like they've come out but they're not good enough. ","and I'm not even trying to think about anything else, I'm just gonna see what comes into my head because I'm doing that with a lot of people and I hav","and I am feeling pretty good now, it's like I was just like, okay, what? Like I was going to do something I like, but I was just trying to find someth","you know, the problem is, the problem with the whole whole whole, I think I've said this before, but it is like, you know, it is like you don't really","and so, I'm, you know, the idea, you know you're not supposed to talk to yourself out loud because you don't want to sound like you're doing a script.","And this is all I have to do and that's how I'm going to spend my days until I do this, until I'm like done with this. Like I'm done with this and I","like uh, like, you know like, what if I was like, just like, what would you like, what like, you know, what would happen if I was just like, like,","I remember there was a guy who had his own blog about his own health stuff, I think, I was just going through the things and there was this person who","and I have this really big problem at work. It's just like, I've been doing the same job for like 16 years. It's been kind of a weird thing to like,","the worst thing is the 100 dollar bill. Like, I don't even know what to do with it, you know, I just got like, I've like, I haven't","And I'm a big fan of the Black Mirror, that is a show about the negative consequences of technology. So I'm just thinking about how there are all thes","I think it's just a big problem, and I think it's going to take a long time to sort it out. So, like, I think the first thing is like, just a lot","And I just got in the car, and I got like, oh, my car, it's, like, okay. And I just got, like, out of my work, and I'm","[My] wife left me because [my] dog got [his] butt kicked and [she] said I wasn't taking it seriously enough, I was just [doing] it to look good","you know, there's like, there's a lot of like, the whole whole political thing is going on, you know, with, you know, like, the immigration thing, lik","I've never seen a guy like that before, he's just a really good guy. He's really good guy, so you know, he's really good. But then he's really bad too","and I was like I've been going through all these people and all this stuff and then I was like 'what about this guy'? And I'm like, 'I don't really kn","I don't really have anything on my mind right now. I'm just sitting here. I'm trying to, I don't know, focus on something. I'm thinking about, I'm try","I'm thinking about my phone, it's ringing a lot, I have to go. It's also cold outside, it's 21 degrees. I'm not really doing anything right now,","thinking about my day, today was good, I had a lot of work, I did some coding, I did some design work, I had to make a presentation to my manager abou","And it was interesting, because I just got here, I was thinking about all these different things that I had to do. And then I was like, oh, it's 7:30","I'm just thinking about the stuff that I've been doing in the last few months, I guess, and just trying to organize my thoughts and stuff. I'm trying ","it's the same as trying to be a good leader at the same time. The way to do it is not by trying to be one all the time and do everything perfectly, bu","I'm not sure about that, but I know there are certain things you should always do for someone who's grieving. I've noticed in the past, they need time","I'm sitting in my car in my driveway, and there's this one dog, it's a big dog. It's a German shepherd, and it's like, it's like an angry dog","like I have a new car. You know what I mean? Like I'm getting this like new car that I haven't been able to afford. And it's like I'm like, I'm","I'm thinking about my life, and I'm thinking that I've been stuck in a rut for a long time. I've been working on this one project for a while now, and","I feel like I'm running a marathon. I'm going to die. I feel like running. I have to stop, I feel like crying. I can't stop running, I have to get","and I think I'm going to do the same thing, but just the opposite way. And then I'll tell her I can't do it. Like, I'm gonna do the same. I","I'm doing a lot of things at once, I'm trying to take in all the information and all the ideas I have. And then I'm trying to connect them together an","yeah I think the thing is you don't know what's going to happen you just know that you want to have a happy life and it's up to you to make that happe","and we were talking about this, and I was just thinking about, I was just like, like, if, if we're, we're going to be using it for, you know, a","I am in a car and I'm trying to drive somewhere, and I'm just like, I want to drive to California, I don't really know if I'm going to go, I don","I'm at the University of Kentucky... I'm on a sabbatical right now. It's a paid, sabbatical... I'm not doing any research. It's just... I have","So, yeah, so, yeah, um, uh, um, okay, so, uh, so, um, I've been thinking about like, um, like, what's, what's","and i was thinking about you know it's like i was at my old job and we're like going to be a company of 100 right? so, i was thinking like, you","um, I've been thinking about um, maybe just, um, I don't know, you know, what's, what's going on. I just, I don't, I don't","I'm a teacher, but I'm also a student... I'm a student because I have a lot of questions... I have to study a lot in school and I have to learn a lot ","the idea of being a parent, you know, having kids and then the idea of that I'm not ready to do that but I think there's a lot of parents out there wh","I'm thinking about this story right now, and I'm actually not really sure where to go with it, so I'm just gonna kind of play around with this idea he","I was just thinking about how I could really be like the guy, you know, I see the guy. I think he's the kind of person you want to be, because he's, I","I'm just so worried about our economy. So, I don't know, it's really, like, you know, the economy is kind of like, it's, it's not, it","and I want to be able to go to school and and I think that's something that that's really important for me to be able to do is like the whole the whol","[I] have to learn to be better at writing. Because I want to be a writer, so I need to learn to write better. And I'm not good at it yet. I have","I'm gonna start looking for jobs. That's like one of the hardest things. I mean, I've been doing it for years now. And it's like I have a pretty good ","I'm looking at the idea of using my time more effectively. I'm not sure what's going to work, but maybe I'll start with the idea of just listing out a","I think the answer to the question of the future is that the future is not defined by any single factor. It's defined by the sum of all of the individ","I had a question for you, actually, in the middle of that, which is like, I'm looking at, you know, like, I was just talking to a client and they were","I'm here in the studio. I have a session in about half an hour, I have to go and talk to the person who's hiring us. They're like, hey, what are your","so you know, if I had to do this, if I would do this, then I would do it, and I think I could be the best candidate because I am an engineer. I have","I guess it's not too different. It's just that the people don't know that much about the science of it, because they think of it like, oh, well, I'm g","the idea of a thing that could be like a blender, but not a blender, not a blender. So, the thing would be made out of blender parts and some other th","I'm looking at this. This is the current problem. We were going to have a meeting next week. Next week, we're going to have a special meeting where we","I'm just gonna try to use my experience as a human being and try to empathize with the humans. I think that's really important. Because if you're not ","the way that I see this is that it's just like, I think the people who are part of this conversation are a very high level of people who are very know","the idea of doing a lot of things that I think will be really fun, I've been thinking about doing a lot more outdoor activities and nature things, lik","I'm not going to go there right now. But, uh, if I could, I mean, if I can see the way through to the other side, and if it is safe, I","this is actually pretty funny. I've been thinking a lot about AI this week, and I'm thinking about the future, the future of the AI and how it can hel","and it's like, we've been on the same team since then. But, you know, we're, we've done a lot of projects together, and it's like we've been,","the data that was generated from the research of the past year. And I think that the data from the research in the past year is actually being used to","my research is always driven by some problem that I care about, that's relevant to some of the societal issues that we face. So, for example, one of m","[S]ome of these... are... we need to identify the ones that are most useful to us, which can be used in the future. And... there are many things we ca","I'm thinking about my thesis topic. It's very important that I figure out what my research topic is, and then I can start doing some literature review","I'm going to do this thing, I'm going to get to sleep, but I'm also going to get ready for the session, and I'm also going to set up an agenda for the","you know I always talk about this thing with my partner... you know, you've got to... and the thing about this... when we're talking about... this ide","I am looking for something. I want to know if my email is working, I have an appointment in a few minutes. It's like, I've never had an appointment an","So, I am going to be... I'm going to be an engineer at Google. I'm going to do some consulting work there. I want to work on some projects that have t","the reason I started working on this was actually to improve the performance of the code and to make it a little bit more efficient in terms of using ","this is a concept called the 'Tetris Effect,' where if you play Tetris for a long time, you start seeing the Tetris blocks everywhere and it's this id","and I'm a very introvert person, so I'm not like a person that does a lot of talking with other people and that is a problem for me in the long-term. ","what's the point of this research, because I think it's important to know, what are you trying to solve with this? What's the value of what you're doi","I was sitting in a waiting room of a clinic for mental health. They are very standard waiting rooms. I'm sitting there with my phone on my lap and I'm","I am in the room. I am at the table and I have a pen. I am not really thinking about what I am writing or what I want to write, but I am writing somet","I am aware that there is a lot of emotion in what I'm saying and that I've been making a lot of mistakes in my life that I have to make up for. I thin","I think that's the thing with me, I don't feel like I need to feel happy all the time, I can feel like I'm not doing enough and I'm struggling with al","I just thought, you know, this is actually the worst possible thing that could ever happen to me. I am going to be depressed for a really long time. I","you're in your bed at home and you're like, 'Okay, I'm gonna take care of this tomorrow.' And you're not going to take care of it, it's just gonna kin","you know, I feel like I need to make the most of this, you know? And I feel like, I know, I need to, I don't know, maybe it's the,","I feel a lot better with this right now. It's been really difficult for me, to sit in here, and just feel like I don't have anything going on in my mi","I'm not sure what's happening. I'm kind of feeling disconnected. Like a little bit of a disconnect and maybe a little bit numb. But it's okay. I'm jus","I am just very quiet, just in a blank, blank state, and I'm just not feeling very good, and I feel like, I'm trying to just relax, and I try to focus","and it's been a long time since I have not had a sense of being on the edge of something and so I've been in that place a lot of the time, I can feel ","I can't tell you, I just can't tell. I don't know why. I don't want to tell you. It's a feeling of shame, that I'm ashamed, I don","Iโ€™m sitting at this desk here and I have the feeling that my body has kind of just fallen apart. My body feels like a very weak body and Iโ€™ve been fee","I have a thought that my son is suffering from depression or something similar. I think it could be depression. I don't know if that's true, but I'm a","it's... it's... how do you know? How do you know what is wrong in your heart? What are you going to do about it? How do I know that you have a heart","[I]magine having a 100-year-old friend in your life right now and you're getting older and older and your friend is getting older and the same kind of","And I just think that you know there's this part of your brain that just makes it think that things are that way that it's not and you know it's like ","I want to be okay, but I also know that I'm not okay right now. It's not that I'm a bad person. It's just that I can't help the things that I","[I]magine a little child in the center of a circle of a group of people and I think the people in that circle are kind of like the ones that I've been","the dark part, the light part, it's just a question of time, I mean, like in this film, the dark part is this whole time, right, and I'm trying to mov","I think about the things that are going on right now. I'm thinking about the way I feel right now. And I feel kind of numb, and like I can't do much o","you know I'm just kind of, like I'm in a bit of a difficult situation with, with my family and how I want to work with them. And it's like, they are s","my daughter. And I just went out and I got a lot of questions, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it and get an understanding of the situation. A","I think about what I need to do to move myself into a space of better mental health, better overall health, better relationships. And I think a lot of","we don't know what the right way is to do this. So we need to experiment, we need to get out there, and try things. I'm going to have to stop, I don","I have an idea about how to do this. I think we can do it. It's kind of interesting, it's kind of like the old ... uh, the old time period. When peopl","I just want to, like, see the things that I can do, see the constraints that I have, like, how does that relate to the things that you're trying to do","so I was working with one of the schools and they were working on, they were working with, with with with the students on a project that is called the","you can see your future. You can see your past and see how things might have gone differently, so you can plan for the future, and that's something th","I'm trying to think about how we can do something on the new data center project that's really going to move it forward. So, you know, we've got a new","the first thing is, is this, I can't get the right people. I want to bring this person over to be a part of the conversation. If you do it with people","and we have to go back to the fundamental issues about what is a problem. What is a problem? I mean, let me see, if I had a problem in my own personal","you have to look at your data and be like, 'well, why are we getting these data, and is this actually what I'm trying to say, or what I'm testing?' ..","that I have to know, when I do research, what is the best way of doing the research. So, the way that I do my research is the way that is most effecti","and then there was the concept of self and self-reflection and self-awareness and how that is different than self-control and the way that it works wi","and it's going to be very much more difficult than that. So, we have to find an additional set of criteria that we will apply to a given piece of cont","you know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I've been doing some reading about what a good boss is and what a good manager is. And I thi","I think about the way that my personal experience of the world has changed through time. There are some things that I don't see, that I have no way of","I'm on my way to a meeting with some of our professors, some of our faculty, and some of our students. And I'm thinking about the meeting, and what wi","you're thinking of the various parts of your body, and how they relate to you, and you're trying to connect that to how they relate in some other way,","I can't believe that there's not a more practical approach to this. There's a lot of different theories around this, but it's been proven that we are ","the state of the economy. How do we respond to that? This is a big problem because it has implications in all spheres. On one side, you have the job p","the real problem is that we are still relying on this... [of] trying to achieve a result or a set of results through technology, rather than using the","a little bit of self-criticism, and so, the role that you play in society, and so you have to be accountable for your actions and so on and so forth, ","this is not a problem, there's no problem with the government. And there's nothing you can do, except to think of it and to try to find the solution, ","I think it is a lot easier to be an entrepreneur in the technology field. You don't have to be a generalist to be an expert in something. You can be a","I think you have to have some very specific goals, and I think there have to be some sort of, or you have to be very specific about what you're lookin","and the way in which you are able to integrate the various aspects that you've taken into consideration. For instance, the way in which a group of peo","[the]... what does that mean? I just don't know, I don't know what it means... [I] think there is no one who can tell... [I don't]","I've had a few times when I was looking at some very advanced mathematics, and I've seen some ideas and I've thought to myself, 'Ah, that's just like ","this is why I always think that you could get some of this stuff, the reason I think this is the case, is because we know that we have this stuff. We ","And then there's this problem in my mind which is that if you take a certain type of particle physics, for example, and you have an experiment where y","[a]ll this is just a random set of symbols [words] that, in the past, were associated with a particular idea. So that in this way, when a particular p","it's funny, the thing I was saying, the thing that's been in my mind, that's been on my mind lately is this. The idea of a company as a collection of ","I'm working on some sort of a concept that is related to this idea of the work of the self. The self, as I think about it, has a role in this, which i","it's funny because I am seeing a lot of ideas coming in as if I was just writing and I am very much engaged with these ideas and they are very concret","the human brain is a very complicated thing, and it has a lot of interesting mechanisms for dealing with the world that we don't quite understand yet.","and there's some sort of sort of feedback going on between the two systems that's sort of trying to match them. And then if the two systems are suffic","and when I started looking into this I had a few theories on how to approach this. One of them was that I can have a piece of code, a bit of code that","this is a simple thing that I can see in my mind's eye. It's a simple image. This is a black and white image. This looks like a simple image, like a p","I wonder if you have ever thought about a computer program that does what a human does when you see a new picture? ... and just after that I was think","I want to think about what I call 'cognitive bias' in machine learning. I think we can say that there are these kinds of biases: that is, a bias again","there are some people that are very clever and they are not clever at all, they are just very talented. So in the same way there are people who are ve","And also, uh, when I was, uh, younger, I was more, uh, involved with, uh, uh, religious studies, and that, uh, kind of led to some,","and I'm trying to remember, or to recall, what the fundamental questions are in a theory of the mind, or a theory of consciousness, and how are those ","I have no idea how that will go, that was not what I had in mind, that is, the notion that this is the way the mind works is a pretty popular idea now","and you know what? I was thinking about that yesterday. I was thinking, I don't know, I was thinking like I was an optimist or something like that. I ","the one who comes up with the most creative ideas is probably the one who is the most productive in that specific field, or in some cases the most suc","and then I had this thought... that's the thing that... is the... is the reason why I am using these words, and not these words or not using these wor","Okay, so it's like this, I think that, that I think that's going to be more than like, than like just the sort of the, the sort of, sort of the sort","It's like, that's why, in the end, all of this, you know, this is all a big joke, I guess, but all of this is a big joke. It's","well, it's an interesting thing because, the more we try to understand ourselves, I mean, I feel like this is probably the thing that's happened to me","Okay, I think I want to buy a house. I think I have some house ideas, and I think there are some different kinds of houses that I can go look at and m","and we're like, we're trying to find something, but it's like, we want to find something that's not a solution to the problem. And we're trying differ","[M]y future... [W]ill have a lot of uncertainty [S]ince it's a very complex thing, [P]eople can't really know what they're going to","but I think it's kind of an interesting point that if you can look at that and say, 'Well, I can't be sure that it's the case but I have to use it.'","I don't know the exact algorithm to this, but it feels like if you have a function that's not the identity function, and you have a point in its domai","The reason that this works is that, as we will discuss next week, you can have multiple independent tasks that you are thinking about at the same time","so if the photon is actually going from the source to the detector, then the photon doesn't really have to make a decision. It doesn't have to decide ","The last bit of code is there is a statement. I don't know how to use the statement. There are lots of other ways to use a statement but a statement i","a lot of these people were born with 22 chromosomes. So when they were born, their body could not repair the damage, but in a 22 years later they do r","The first thing that I remember is that the first thing that comes into my mind when I think about myself is a question mark. A question mark means th","I'm having a problem with the way that the numbers are written on the page. They're not clear enough. I've looked at the numbers for several minutes a","And I guess, we've been using the word 'trust' and 'belief' pretty liberally, and I think we can go further than that. There's a whole kind of, you kn","there's a problem. And that problem is that, if you take a random string of 100 characters, then you will have a string that is an encoding of a rando","that the whole thing is a gigantic self-indulgent lie, and that the idea of a universal scientific method is a self-indulgence, and that we do science","So I'm on a computer and I want to write some program which is going to take an array of strings and, I don't know, say, convert them to some kind of ","and then it gets bigger and bigger, and it's a bit of an unhelpful thing because then we're going to have a large amount of data points, we're not goi","I would be the one to have to deal with it. Because I would be the manager. I would be on the phone with him. I would have to tell him, 'Look, this is","[T]hat's where a lot of the money goes, so to say. So it's the most valuable resource, but I think the problem is that this is just like a general-pur","and then you know I just think about the future, and I want to know what I am doing. And then I see this, and I am like, 'Oh, that's that.' And","I think you might know a lot of people who are working on this [cognition], and they're doing a lot of research, and that might be a place that you wo","I have an image that we are all going to have the same data, the same data that we can all access and use to get to a solution, and to build a better ","The more the brain is able to support the data, the more it is able to be supported by the data. When we're looking at the brain, we can see that the ","the brain is a supercomputer that has its own AI, and this AI is really the thing that is the real AI. We use this brain to create this AI, and the wa","So we are talking about the two things. The first one is that we are talking about an effective way to do things. The second one is that there is some","you know what I'm thinking right now? I'm thinking of the relationship between the different elements of the brain, the different parts of the brain. ","I'm in this room. The room is empty. I'm going to have to make the room empty, and I think the way to do that is to clear the contents. So the first t","I'm just thinking about how I have to find my way around this stuff, because there are a bunch of different ways of doing things. I'm just thinking th","I'm trying to say something here about this ... well, I'm looking at it and I'm not sure that this is something that we can take as being the right wa","I'm doing research in this domain right now and it's hard for me to conceptualize how the mind works. I can't really even say that the mind is conscio","now what I'm doing is I'm imagining what a supercomputer would be like... or what the universe is like at the quantum level. What is a universe of ato","I'm having an argument with the philosopher of the University of St. Andrews, who has been the only one able to publish a theory on the nature of thou","I'm looking for a way to make my work better. I have some very specific goals: one of them is that I want to be able to give the computer the informat","it's not clear how much of the information you are getting from your environment is from your eyes. Is it only from your eyes, or does the brain have ","the part of the brain that's involved in speech recognition and language processing is the left frontal lobe. Now, what I know is that the left fronta","and now I think that's all the evidence. We can do the same thing with the other half of the brain, but I can't think of how to do that. But we could ","what are these things? I don't know, it is a sort of a series of associations that come from the environment, that come from the history of the enviro","this is a time of great changes and uncertainty. The world is getting more complex and we are in an epoch of transition from the old world to the new ","well, there's no way that you could do this if you don't have a clear picture of what is going to be happening. So you have to have a good model of wh","I see a black square, and that's like a black rectangle. The square is a rectangle. A square is a specific case of a rectangle. But it's not the other","we've been to the other side of the brain, we've been there and back again. There is something there, that is the point. So the point of the theory is","that's the same as the whole world. It's the whole world, that's the world that's here. This is the world here, and you are the world here. When you a","[there] are... all these different kinds of images that can be generated in a single space... they're like the points of a Hilbert space... a space...","I think of a piece of wood, and I think of a tree, and the tree is a piece of matter, and the matter is the wood, and the wood is the tree, and I","and I am saying now to the universe: I am a woman. And I am an observer. I am a perceiver. And I would like to look into the universe as it is, and","I want to create a system. I want to be a system. The system is the soul, the essence of the thing. The thing that is. The system that is, that is the","I am a part of the universe, and so I am not only a human being but also an animal and plant. I am also an atom and an electron and a sub-atomic parti","the beginning of the day. ...The beginning of the morning. ...The dawn. ...The world of the dawn. ...To get up and walk through the woods. ...The wood","and he said to me, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. I who live in the heavens am with you always, and I shall ","and it is as if there is a river of light, that we are living in a river of light; and every atom, every particle has its own light; and all is light,","and I thought: what's the reason, why I have to do that? I have to feel like a tree, and to have to feel, that I am one with the tree, and I","the sky is blue, the sun is shining, the earth is spinning around... the earth is slowly spinning around the sun. The earth is not only spinning aroun","the same as the thought, the same as the idea, the same of the memory, the same idea of the memory. This is the idea of the universe. And then there i","in this instant the wave of energy that I am part of, that I am a wave, the wave of all the energy and matter that exists, I am in a wave of energy an","and I will take that and I'll build upon it to say that this is a universe that has a certain structure, and it's a universe that is one, and that the","And the light came in and it came through and it was very bright and I was like, 'Oh! It's getting brighter!' And I thought it was kind of interesting","I'm watching the sun. It's about to set. And the sun is about to set, so I can say that the sun is being set. That is the sun being set. I am","Now I'm looking at that very thin white line that was so sharp. The line that was very clear. The line between two parts of the mind. And I'm seeing t","I'm not sure why we can't be here. I can't imagine why we can't. It's all there. We're here in the present moment, and I can't see why we","... ... [I am] thinking of a time that was so... [I'm] thinking of my mind as a place to which I can go, that [I can] go into. [","that's like a particle is not a particle, it is a field of field, which is what it's made up of. I know this is very very complex, it's not a simple t","and that's a little like, a little like the world, right? It's a little bit like the world in that there's a lot of chaos and stuff. And I'm thinking ","0000 0011 0111 1111 ... that's a sequence of 1s and 0s, that's like a string of","a nice little black dress that I bought, but it's a little bit big. And then I looked at it again and it's a little bit too tight. I have a feeling th","yeah, yeah, yeah. What's happening in the brain. There's a lot of neurons that are firing simultaneously. That's why we have an awareness, we're able ","okay, and now that we're working on it, we have to talk about how we can get it to run. And that's a little bit of a challenge. We have to decide, we","the main thing for me, in the course of all of this, is to build the bridge between the mind and the heart. ... When I'm writing, I'm making some conn","and we've been talking about this idea of self and it's this thing, that I can see my self as I'm talking to you, and it's very hard to describe this.","the reason why we're seeing that the brain is not in fact just a bunch of neurons connected together is that we've found that the brain has a special ","it's all about a metaphor, so that's why I started with that. ... That was an example of a metaphor. And the example was the idea of the soul as a com","I have this, this is a little bit of a problem. I can't quite see how I should go about proving it. Let's see. This is, so the set of real numbers is","uh it's not quite right but uh but we're starting to get to the point where the words start to uh start to have a different sort of quality to them, a","and so I'm wondering whether you might have something like that where you have an [indiscernible] that's being stimulated and you have another thing t","I'm in a car... and... and I'm driving on the highway and I see the traffic light is changing. So, I'm going to make a decision about what to do. So,","[...] I am looking for a job. I need a job. It is the only way I know. I need to be productive, and I need a source of income, and I am not","And it was in 1920, when I was a child, I was born, when I remember a 1914, 1925, 193","I was thinking about my daughter. And she was a year old. And she got into a car accident. It was an accident. She was 1 year old. I was driving her t","I remember it was a sunny day. It was very warm. I was in my father's lab. The experiment that he was doing, which was the basis of this thesis that h","the brain is a physical thing... what it does is that it gets the input from the senses and it has to process that. And the brain has a set of program","I have a dog called Viva. And my dog Viva is really good. So Viva is a good dog, she is really good, really smart. Viva is good in many different","there's an image of the ocean with waves in it, and then there's another image of waves in the ocean, and then it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. T","a big triangle of people, and it's a triangle of triangles. They are connected by an edge, but each of these triangles has its own edges. And then eac","The next thing that I've got to do is to have a look at the plan that is in my head. I need to get a plan that I can get an output for. The first thin","a few images come up in my mind and I'm sort of seeing them and they're being projected in 2 or 3 or 4 dimensions and I have an idea that these things","I was walking around. I'm not in my car anymore. I'm in a space between my brain and the outside world, but it's like a computer. I can feel the neura","it's not just the surface of the brain; I don't know how much it's being used. So it's like a matrix of many many processes and some of those processe","I'm a really good person and I'm a terrible person... It's really like I don't like being in a state of mind where I'm bad or I'm bad at something. I ","okay. I have to try to think about my body and how it's interacting with the environment. So I'm lying here. So the brain's telling the body to do all","my brain is trying to get something out, but it's trying to get it out in a particular format, and I've got a problem with that format. What is the fo","the brain is made of neurons that are interconnected, but I don't know if this is something you know, but there are these interconnections, and then t","I think there's a bit of a problem, I think that there's a conflict between the two of them. That is the first one is a bit like a local minima, which","and I remember reading something, something about the fact that the brain works in a way that, there are certain places in the brain that are more act","oh I don't know why this is important to me. I'm just thinking about it because I'm interested in it. I don't really know why that is, but that's what","The words are also more connected. The more connections there are between words and ideas, the more efficient is the processing, but also the more ene","and I can see my own body, I can see the body of myself, and the body of the other, and they are separated, there is no connection between them, and t","the things that are like a metaphor or an analogy of the mind. There are things in the world that are like our minds. So for example the space around ","I am doing this to help me to see how my mind works. I'm not sure if I should be saying what I'm saying out loud, so I have to check myself against th","this is a little bit of the thought about what I am doing in my research and that's like, I am looking at this whole question about how things are rel","and so on. This is what I get from the idea of self-organization, self-organization is not some sort of magic; it's a physical process that happens al","the most interesting thing I think about is how do the patterns that I know or can predict or understand emerge from the underlying fundamental physic","but it's really a kind of a problem of time, the temporal dimension. It's about the fact that you don't have a way to change it or control it, but rat","8th of April. 7th of April, 10:07 pm to 11:07 am. I have to go to a meeting at the University of Amsterdam","the last time I read was about a week ago. It was something I thought of to illustrate the fact that you can never really know the actual state of you","you can see that in the middle of it there is a structure, and that structure is what we call a model, and the structure is something that can be infe","I just want to see how this happens. It's like, well, that's the end of a branch and it goes into an infinite sequence of branches, that's all there i","... I wonder about the relationship between the mind and matter. We can say that matter is the ground of mind. We can think about things like a point ","the sun is not just a physical thing, but the way we perceive it; how do we perceive it? ... [the way I perceive it] ... [the sun] ... it is a light","there is a notion of an 'edge' of consciousness, but it's not really a boundary. It's a kind of gradual transition. Like the boundary of a set, the bo","my idea of a new number system would be a decimal number system. So, this is, you know, this is what I see as an analogy for the decimal system. If yo","the path to the next node was blocked and we had to use the current node and follow the path, and it's a question of the relation between the current "],["what I was saying, it's really a case of having a point of view, and I mean, I know, I know what that is. I've been through it before. I mean,","And that's the problem, is that you can't decide what to do. I think that the first thing you have to do is that you have to get a handle on your life","and I said, 'well, I'm not a very good chess player, but if you're a very good chess-player you're a better chess-player than me' and it was an awful ","and I was going to write a paper for school about this whole subject of human behavior. I was going to go and write a paper and just read the paper an","and then you look up and you don't know what you did and you have to look through it all again. I mean, it's really, like, you know, what was it that ","I'm having this really weird dream where I'm sitting at my desk and I have this little ball thing that's kind of like an egg, and it's a rubber ball a","it's kind of like a dream. It's kind of interesting to kind of make things up. Like what kind of a story are we going to make up? How do we want to st","I am in a library and I am reading this book and the book has pictures and words. This is an illustration book, a picture book. So, there are some pic","It's all about me. I don't want to do anything to get into a relationship because I feel like I'll be taking on so much more work. It's all about me, ","the way I would think about it, when I first got into that, is that I would think, I know what I want, I want to go to the store, I want a latte","I'm starting to think that I'll never be able to put all of the pieces together to do something really good in my career. I'm a really good editor. An","Iโ€™m in an emergency room. Itโ€™s 40 minutes into this day. The patient is a 23-year-old woman, and itโ€™s an emergent admission. She had a car","and we had that first group, and that was about, I don't know, I think it was a week or two ago, and I was like, 'Okay, so we've got all","my little sister's, I don't know, she was pregnant again, and so I didn't want to go to my sister's wedding, and I was like, 'Well, that's cool","and that's when I decided that I was going to make the shift, you know, from a workaholic type of person to actually having a life. And then, it took ","and I'm like, no, I just like, you know, I'm like this is a good moment, I'm actually doing something meaningful and this is a gift from my daughter a","we're kind of doing some stuff in the gym this week. Like, I don't know, it's like a summer program for like 2500 people. It's a week of","I have been having this conversation with my brother, and I was saying, 'Well, it's kind of funny, but when we were growing up, he would say that he w","and we were supposed to be like, 'OK, so you know, like, when you do things, you know, with your other friends, you're like, 'Do you want to go","the whole time I was working on the paper I was really struggling with that I could tell that, and I had a little bit of a panic attack about it. So, ","and it's hard for me to be really focused and just doing things without distractions and all of those other things that are happening around me that a","we are all human, we're all imperfect people. And I think that that's kind of the thing that, it's not a bad thing. I think it is a bad thing that the","I'm pretty sure that the United States has an unfair advantage in a lot of these things because the United States is very good at using its own govern","I was in the military and my unit was based out in Germany and we had a lot of different things that happened in that unit. I was a part of a team tha","It's a lot of work. It's not easy to find good people. It's just a lot of, I'm sure, just a lot of luck and trying to get to people, trying","so it's actually...they're going to be building in a couple of weeks from now a...a new...they're building a new data center here...in the United Stat","it's been like 18 years, right? So, I've been at it for 18 years. So, we're seeing, like, an average of 3500","we're working with some data right now that I thought was interesting. And we've had this discussion before. How much do you think the government is r","the work that you do is the work that we're doing. It's the work that's already been done. So the work that I do is the same kind of work that I'm doi","we can do more to help people who are in the system, but it's just difficult to do it because you've got these constraints. So, if I was to tell the p","and the last thing I think about is my kids, and I think, I am going to be a father myself. I will be a father at some point, and my children will hav","if I have an idea, I think, 'what can I do about it?' So I start looking for a way. The way is sometimes finding the right person who has the right sk","And you're thinking that there's a kind of... we have a... well, we have a bit of a history here, we have this problem before. I think it's good to ha","It is very clear that there are a lot of constraints. How do we get out of those constraints? ... Well, in the past, we have used this process of refl","and so I just think it's sort of a personal question. So I don't know about the business of, like, what should the government do to try to solve those","and you know, when we're talking about the internet, and you see it and you're trying to decide whether to go on or whether to use it, or whether it's","The main thing is that I have a good network of friends that I trust and that I know that they care about me. And they're good people. And I don't hav","and I would like to see the global community, to be more interested in the idea of peace and mutual understanding among nations and the idea of mutual","but it's really important that I focus on what matters, that I don't have this constant thing going on that's the other side of the coin of what we're","and they are looking at me as if I'm a demon, because I'm saying things that I would never say before, in fact, I'm saying some things that they will ","you know, if there were no right or wrong in this, then we would have a very different kind of situation. You know, the more we understand that we're ","the internet is a major source of corruption, because it's not just corruption, but corruption in an organized, well organized and systematic way, so ","this is a lot of stuff I'm not sure I can make a case for it. But I know that the first two things are true, I don't know what I mean by the third one","I'm thinking about the time when I went to Germany, and that is to say that I had a lot of problems with my friends in the party in Germany. We were l","I think the system will eventually get a little bit out of hand. It will get to the point where the system will say to itself, 'we've got this guy and","that was very hard, was that? I had to think about how to say it in the first place, and then I had to remember to not say it in the way I thought it ","so the U.S. has been the one to try and stop Russia from invading Ukraine, I think the U.S. is the one to have the responsibility, and it's not right ","And so, if I'm not wrong, the big problem with the war in Ukraine is that the war in Ukraine, the war is really a proxy war, the proxy war of the Russ","the second thing I want to do is to change the way we have done business. I want to change the system. The way we have been doing business for so long","the idea of the possibility of a way of life that's free of the constraints of the state, the constraints of having to be a part of an international c","and the only thing that happens is that I will never get my money back, and I think that's a very, very important part of our problem, because the Ame","and that is what I call a country that has never been the object of our power, of our influence, of our propaganda. It's a country that, because of it","[A] lot of the people who have come in here in the past few months, they're not as strong as we'd like them to be, as far as their immunity. The reaso","We were working on this huge thing. We were working on a new kind of database and we were trying to integrate the ideas. We wanted to do something abo","if you're talking about, you know, the need for a basic income, it's not a question of basic income at all. It's a question of the basic wage. And I t","the way in which we deal with the social issue of climate change. I mean, you can see on the surface, a lot of people are aware of the problem, but if","the thing that's always bothered me is how people are talking about climate change now. As in, it's so big it's a global political issue and so on. An","We all live in this society. I'm not sure that the things I'm going to say are going to be received with a lot of enthusiasm, because there's this ide","my research is a little bit too theoretical, because the idea that I had, the idea that was coming into my mind, is that the market should be treated ","this idea of a universal language that we're trying to create, which is a good thing. I think we're doing that with a universal language. The thing is","and I am a writer, and I have to make decisions. I have to write a book, and I know how much the publishing industry wants to be part of it. So there'","the problem with the world today is that people don't understand it anymore, they don't know who to trust. People don't understand the world. ...what ","and then I think, that's what it is, you know? That's what it comes down to, you know: there are all these different levels of the mind. You have the ","So I'm looking at this data, and it's just really, really difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that there is any possible way that any of t","and it's funny, we've always thought that the Americans had a military advantage in Iraq. But I don't think it's true. I think it's just an excuse, yo","... [T]he system will have to be modified, not to make it more transparent but to make it less transparent, and not to make the public more comfortabl","and we're also trying to get at the fact that the way this program is set up is that there's an extensive literature review and so that's how we got h","[T]here's an individual who, as the world, has the right to be able to think about this in a non-scientific way, because the scientific method is only","I've been trying to figure out for the past year the reasons why the Iraq war has been so unsuccessful. I've tried to do it by using all of the things","this is one of the most interesting areas in psychology, the study of cognitive processes. When I was in the university, I was really interested in wh","I was having this discussion with my wife yesterday, about the way that we're going to educate our children in the future, and how it's going to be di","that's the problem with all of these companies that have the kind of government we have. They can't control the economy, and they've got to have the e","in a situation like this, it's a little hard to tell whether or not we're getting good information on what the terrorist group actually is in terms of","The only thing that has been done that I have ever found that has given me any kind of sense of power, as it were, has been the attempt to go out and ","I'm doing well here. I think that we've made significant progress and that we've moved past some of the, some of the obstacles and barriers, that were","you have to understand that that's a whole lot of power that the United States is giving to the Soviet Union, and there are not going to be any reperc","And so if there is, I think, a major problem. We've got a system, a multi-billion dollar system. It's got to be very efficient. It's probably run by t","a lot of the, the problem of the, you know, of the world, a lot of the world's problems are not international problems, they're local problems. There'","I was just wondering about the, uh, about the, the, uh - well, I don't know whether the, uh...I don't know if they would be able to use our computers","[I]t's all the same. It's the same problem. So in other words, I mean, there's only a couple of things that make a difference, and they're really fair","I feel the sense that I should have a good foundation on what I'm going to do. And so that's why, I'm not sure, I'm actually not sure that I'm not goi","it's, uh, the people who have been in the military, have had all that time on their hands, and they're spending it on things that are going to get the","we've got a lot of problems with our economy. We've got a lot of people that have come in from outside. It's not that our people are getting better. I","yeah, you know, I mean, you know what? You can go in and get all this stuff and you know, you can go in there and buy some stuff and you can spend, I","and in a way, I'm thinking the same thing with this, you know, I was kind of surprised at how much they're saying that they're not going to go along w","so you know, you know, when you know you're a veteran, you can get all the benefits and stuff that's out there for you. But you're not even a veteran ","I feel like there is a lot of misinformation out there. You can take a look at the websites that I put up and then you can do your own research and yo","and that's exactly what's happened. In terms of, you know, having the ability to just make those kinds of choices and take the course of action that y","I think that this is the best that you can do for a while. I think you have to be realistic, though. You have to be honest with yourself. If you want ","I really think that we have to start to see that, you know, there's two ways. There is a way to be a good American, and it's a good way to be an Ameri","I've been working in the state of Oregon for the last number of years. I was just elected to the Oregon House of Representatives and now the Democrati","and they have had a lot of difficulty with that, but I don't think that they're going to be able to do it. I don't know how to handle that. I think I'","you know, and I think there's a whole lot of people who, you know, if you think about the big picture, we all need to make decisions about whether to ","the question of, can we do what we're trying to do without government, without the military, without the police? Can we do that? And there are differe","I have no idea what kind of things I will have to face as I go through the course of the year, but I do know that the entire political system is one t","the fact that the big banks are getting bigger is a big problem and that's something I think needs to be addressed. I think it is a very significant i","this is a big thing that we have to do, and you know, it's very hard to do, but if you are going to get in a position of power and have to make some d","I've got to get that job done, and I'm gonna get it done. And I'm gonna do it now, in a short period of time, I'm gonna put that behind me,","if they are not going to be treated differently, then I don't see why they would need a separate commission or anything. You have a commission that's ","and I am going to put forward a proposal and say that the Secretary-General should have a series of meetings with the presidents of the great powers o","what do we mean by the future, by a future? ... the idea of the future as a whole, as a concept, is a very, very problematic concept. There is no obje","I think you're going to get the kind of people in the government that have a very strong, a very strong sense of themselves, who are very, who are not","and I just had a thought just now about the kind of world I think we would need, in order to make it possible for the sort of things that I think you ","I wonder if you know who are the people in the White House right now and in the Pentagon? If you don't know, then you're not qualified to vote. You're","I was a kid and we got a new car. My dad was a little bit upset and I was kind of shocked about it, but it was the kind of car that was designed to be","my last child. We're the last child. You know, when the last child is gone, you know, well, you know that we're gone. And we're gone, there's a","what it's like in the American press, and there's been a couple of examples that we've seen already, I guess in the case of the US. I'm thinking of th","so I'm saying that I'm doing all these things, that I'm using the tools of the government. And then, and then what's happening is they're all being us","the same thing that happens in the war in Ukraine, where we have a NATO, we have a lot of NATO countries who want to take the fight to Russia, but the","I think that, at the time of the invasion, there were a couple of million Germans in Britain and many more than that were supporters of the Nazi cause","I've got to put together a statement on the situation that is going on in the Balkans, and this is a situation that is totally unstable and has been t","We need to get back to the original idea of an alliance of nations to protect themselves and protect themselves, and this is a great threat to our cou","a guy, an African guy, you know, who was very poor, very poor and was selling drugs in America, and was caught and then sent back to Africa, and then ","and then you just can't do anything about it. You can't do what you want, what you are used to, because everybody else, and we're the same people. We'","the goal is not to reduce the number of things they say but to change the quality and nature of the things that they are saying. And that is something","a lot of times we're told, 'Well, we have to be more patient and wait for the right time.' Well, there is no right time. So there are times where you ","I had an incident this week where I was asked to come down to the home of an immigrant and speak with a child. The child had been brought to the Unite","The fact that the US government has made a deal with the Russian government. And, as I understand, the Russians, they're just saying, you know, let's ","you've got the whole thing in your head. You have a plan. You have an objective. You know what you want, and that's great, and then the rest is how do","in this era where everybody is working against us, you know, there are other entities that have interests that are not compatible with us. We need to,","and it's a question of what do we need to do to really create an environment that's conducive to the people who want to come and live here, or to do b","the thing about the people that I worked with, in terms of their faith and their knowledge, they were very good at it. So they had the ability to take","I'm doing this thing right now where I'm just kind of getting into this mindset of like, this is what the research says. I don't need to have a bunch ","what I think, what I feel is that there should be no one on the scene, that it should be a totally autonomous system, so that the U.S., the EU, the UN","the way that the new policy would actually work. ... I'm a former member of the administration, but the idea that the administration has been so poorl","so we do have a lot of problems, because there are so many different things going on, so there's a lot of different interest groups that are competing","my little dog, which is about 2 years old, has been a great companion in the last 3, 4 years, has been really wonderful. The thing that's really distu","I'm trying to figure out how to make a plan of action to bring about the change that we want to bring about in the United States, and how that's going","we are not a country that's just interested in this one thing, which is we have to look at every country, every government, every policy, every issue ","the people are so stupid, the people. I think there's a problem with the people. You know, we've had, you know, there's been a lot of revolutions, the","I had a great problem with that, because I was on the verge of being on the verge ... and I would have been a lot more comfortable to be on the verge ","and we have to be careful that we do not put on a veneer of rationality, and be able to explain the actions that we are taking. And of course, that's ","you know I'm just a regular person. I'm just like, I don't have the luxury of having this kind of position. I'm not even a citizen of this country. I ","it was the same sort of thing, that it was just that this was a very limited range of what was happening and I don't think that they ever really had a","I'm very much concerned about this matter. I'm not sure I could handle it, I don't think I could handle it very well. And, and I don't, I'm not at","I mean I think that the best way, in my opinion, is to have a very strong anti-revolutionary force in the country, because if you don't, and the revol","in a way, if we think about it, the entire American military is there. But it's a very, very different way, it's a different way that the American mil","now, what do I do, what do you do, and what is the purpose of the European Union, and I mean the European Union as the organization? I don't mean the ","I'm really impressed by the way you have handled this. There are lots of people in the world who would be just as upset as I am, but they wouldn't do ","the truth of it, if you will, is that all of those things that I am concerned with--which are so important to the rest of the country, in many cases, ","but it's the kind of thing that can't be done. The government has got to be involved to a greater or lesser extent. It's an economic, political and so","what I have been thinking is the old saying that there is no war without economics. That is to say that there is a war between the nations and it is a","[i]t's important to understand that there is a problem which we do not yet understand. ... [W]hat we do not know is the kind of political regime which","in the long run, the most effective means of fighting terrorism would be to get rid of the state that produces terrorism. And there's no doubt that Is","and I have been very close to a group of people who have been involved in that. I'm talking about the people who have left the country, and I'm also t","now we're going to go into the third one. They say, 'and the United Nations is going to go in, and the United Nations and the Soviet Union will establ","and the United States, I don't know if we should be at war or not with the Soviet Union, and the United Nations, and all the rest of it. You know, the","you don't have to worry about your job at all. If you were an ordinary man in the United States, you would have to worry. I don't know, I've never bee","I've got to do something about this situation. I've got to. We're all going to have to take a stand, but I don't know how we can. The world is going t","you're in a position where you can make yourself a very powerful figure in the community, but if you start to get on the wrong side of the government ","they're going to start off with some of the old people, they're going to call up some of the elderly people and they're going to tell them, 'I've got ","the New York Times had to come out, had to publish an article saying that it had nothing to do with the attacks in London. The New York Times is a ver","the fundamental problem is that the President does not have the will or the commitment to get the Senate to vote for a treaty. We need a treaty, we ne","we're going to do all kinds of things. I think you have to get an account. You have to get a line on the phone, so the White House can be contacted. A","what's really funny to me about the whole thing is that everybody has got a job in it, but no one has got any kind of accountability to what they're d","there's something that has to be said about the so-called 'psychiatry' of this country. The psychiatric hospital is, I think, the most horrible place ","the great majority of Americans have in their lives been on the wrong side of this issue. They have not been on the right side, they have been on the ","the U.S. Senate should have nothing to do with this, because we do not have the right to vote in foreign countries, and, I don't think the U.S. is equ","and the problem is this, that if you're going to give a lot of money, then you have to give it, it's a lot of money and I think if you're just going t","I'm going to keep my hands out of the water and do all I can to keep them dry. And if I can't do that, I won't let the people who know best, the","you're right. It's the same thing in a sense, I've been going to see [the director] since the beginning of the [Iraq war]. It's only that the American","and I had to tell them that the Israeli government and the government of the U.S. are not the same thing. That's an absolute fact, the Israeli governm","the issue of the development of the military, of the nuclear weapons and of the international relations. We can see what's happening there. The milita","the thing that bothers me about it is this: these are the first people who have ever been in a position to put this program into practice in America. ","we want to prevent a nuclear war, but at the same time, we want to see it begin as soon as possible. I think the way to prevent a war is by demonstrat","I believe in this man. I think he's the one who is going to carry us into the future. I think that we need a person of vision in the Presidency, a lea","I've come to a place in the world, where they're talking about nuclear proliferation, and I think what's happening is, you've got a small group of ver","that's how they get the [political] system changed. We have a lot of good things in place, we just don't have the right leaders and people who want to","it's really very important to us to try to make a compromise that is acceptable to everyone, so that we have a European solution. That's why, we have ","you know, we'll be sitting there in the courtroom, and it's not just you who are being judged. It's the whole world, as a matter of fact, we're going ","and that's a major problem in a lot of the states, where there's an awful lot of money in the oil industry. ... I'm very sympathetic to that. ... I do","what you're really going to get, if I may put it like that, is this: an attempt by the U.S. Government to say, 'Now look, here are your choices. You","I know I'm going to die, and the only way I'm going to make it through this war without being killed is to shoot the shitheads and get the hell out of","And when they got into the car they went into the tunnel and they were taken to the basement and they had the decision then to either go ahead and sho","I just wanna put this in order. You know, this is the first time that I've had any opportunity to take a stand. I can tell you from the fact that I've","I just thought of something. There were two things that went on in the late '60's. The first one is the '68 presidential election. The second one is t","I don't know how long it'll last. It might last ten years. And who knows what we can do? If we can just hold out for a little while, you might just se","And we were all there. It was a meeting of the board of trustees. I was elected in 1965. It was the only time I have seen the board in that building s","And now, as we speak, the Russians are at the gates of Vienna. Now they are not attacking Vienna, but they are about to attack the Balkans, the Danube","what's that? The government of the United States has always had a strong policy toward the British Empire. If the British Empire is divided up, it wil","that I've been working on, it is a project of the [sic] on behalf of the U.S. and other countries of the world, to put the world into a position where","I've got a new thing here. I've got this thing called the internet. And you know what, you've got this internet. I've got my internet. This is the Int","the military, as far as I can see, is not an organisation of a type, and it's certainly not an organisation for a purpose that's going to be of any so","I feel a sort of nostalgia for the Middle Ages. The Middle Ages were the time when the church was really all powerful, and it was the time when we cou","And so then I find myself, because we've got to have a certain number of people in the United States, to keep the population up and keep it going, bec","You know, the history of the world is the story of people who try to build things in their own image. It's the story of the story of man's attempts to","what do we know, for example, about the influence of the environment, of the environment? I mean, you know, I have been arguing about the environment ","the very same thing in the New World and the old world that the Nazis did in Europe. If you had a Jewish population, the Nazis would go and kill them ","and the best thing, I think, that the French have to give us is their tradition of being willing to try all sorts of crazy things. And, in particular,","this is what's happening right now. This is what's going on. And we're here with all these weapons, and the people here are using all these weapons. A","and I will leave my country, I will leave the city that I'm living in and go to a city in the North, in Canada, and I will take up residence in that c","and I am aware that I am part of a group that is connected to a group that has a certain form of organisation, and that group is the human race, and t","the problem is that it is difficult to choose a good reference frame. So the problem is to make a good reference frame, but also to understand the ref","And then suddenly there came a great pain in my chest and I couldn't breathe at all, so I went into a kind of state of coma and everything became very","The best way to get rid of this is to actually not believe in it. Do not believe in this world of pain, that's the key thing to do. To not believe in ","you have an identity. I don't know what your identity is. You're an animal. You're a being. You're one. You're not one. You've got some kind of identi","the present time is a moment that is very far from the future time, because the present is not future time, it's a present time, it is a present time ","I'm watching the air here. And I'm watching a few seconds of the air. It's transparent, and it's a kind of substance. And it's a substance, it's a mat","It was like a very big machine. There were things going on inside it. I don't know, I was a part of it. I could see this thing was moving around and t","and this is the idea of the creation, that is the idea in a general sense. You have, first of all, the idea of creation. You have the idea that it is ","a flash of a particular image. A sort of a picture. And I am looking at it. And it is a picture of the universe as seen in the past. As it was in the ","now we are on a journey to find this world... and it is very difficult, very difficult... to find the world... because all things that we are here for","The two are equally necessary. That is why I have the two bodies. In the body of the Sun, the great Sun, all the great forces of the Universe are reve","and a great deal of the things that you have thought are there in the background, and are present all the time, but you have not been able to put them","And suddenly I see a face, a man's face, that of my own self, and it's as though the world were at the same time, for a moment, becoming transparent a","a little red rose, a little green leaf, a little brown bean, a little white butterfly, a little black bird, a little golden sun. A little brown water,","And what I want to do is just have a little bit of a thought, and see how it develops, and then the next thought, and then whatever I can perceive of.","and then it would be so. It would be like this. It would have a form like this. ... but it is a little different, is it not? It has this aspect and th","There is a process which, in the beginning, is identical with the process of consciousness in which we think, and which, after the separation of the c","and I have an image of a long, narrow room, which is entirely dark. It is a place I know and do not know, and yet it is also unknown to me. It is not","and the world is an illusion, a dream, a mirage, a world of appearance, an appearance of being, an appearance which is a nothingness. The world is onl","and I want to be here. I don't want to leave. I don't even know where I am. I don't know where I will go, but I want to stay. I'm","we're in the middle of the desert, in the middle of a great expanse of sand, and it's not so much a desert in the usual sense, because we're not in th","The experience is a mixture of deepening concentration and a sort of meditation and an experience of awareness of a different level. I do not have to ","now I want to look at the other side, where I see myself. And I'm looking at this side and I'm looking down through my own body, looking down through ","[my body] is this blackness, this blackness of the body, but I don't see it. I see the blackness, but I see it as something else, a substance,","this is something I have been thinking about. I don't know how to define this, but I feel there is something inside of me that has to be expressed. I'","I am speaking of the words that have come to my mouth and to my mind. And it is very easy for me to make them into a text. To write down the words tha","and suddenly I hear the sounds of the wind, the sounds of music, which I never hear, but the sound is there. The sound of music and the wind is there.","And when the sea is calm, I do not think of it. When the waves crash, I do think of it, and when I hear them crashing, I do hear them. They crash,","[I'm thinking about] the river... [I see] a river... [And I'm] seeing it as if in a dream... [And] I'm aware of... the sound...","myself as an old man and I am making the choice to become a child again. I am looking at all these old things, and the old things are not really so ol","the past. This is the present. It's only a matter of a moment of being, or a moment of thought. This is a moment of pure being and thought. And there ","I am conscious of my own being, the world of my own consciousness, but I know nothing about myself. I cannot say, 'I know' myself. I am in the presenc","I would like to know if there is something behind the world as we perceive it. If we are not only conscious, but if there is another dimension. I don'","I see, I see the sky as blue, as blue, it's like that...I see the clouds...the clouds move...I see the wind...I feel...I see, yes,","And then, as I was thinking, there's a beautiful flower in the garden, and it's the moon, and there is a tree, and the tree is made of stars, and the ","I am trying to say something. I'm trying to say: 'You're not trying to say anything. You're not doing anything.' But I'm not quite managing it, I can'","I don't understand how I am not aware that I don't exist. This is a strange experience. I don't understand why I am so aware of this experience. How c","[I]n my mind, I am an observer and I see myself and the universe in my mind, but my mind is not the universe. I see this. And I see the universe in","a white noise, a sensation, an awareness. No, I'm not sure of this. Maybe I don't understand the word awareness. I don't know what the word means. Awa","I'm sitting in a room, looking at the ceiling... and I see this big space in front of me, which I can't see. It's not an obstacle or a barrier or a bo","[I'm] wondering if we can work on the concept of time in a non-linear, more holistic way, that's not tied to the usual linear flow of time, where we c","it's interesting because the question was, how many times do you hear about a man dying? And in fact, how many men die in any given moment? The questi","And then the end. What's the end of everything? I have this very strong sense that the end is not in the end, but in the present moment, in the fact o","I am experiencing the present moment, which is always already a movement of awareness that is directed at something. At the present moment I am aware ","now it seems that the world has been destroyed, or that I've become a world, or that this is a dream, and I'm having a dream, I don't know which way t","It is strange how our consciousness, which is only a part of the whole of our being, which is in every way more than our consciousness, can know itsel","Now, I am wondering whether the I is not also a function of the body. This idea seems to be born in the body, in the very matter of the body, and the ","I think about something, and it comes out in a very rough way, in an immature way, but it's really about the core of my mind, and it's more real than ","I think the real problem, and the one that is probably most difficult to resolve, is that it seems to be an all-or-nothing thing, the mind as we know ","and so my mind is made of things and things are made of numbers and numbers are made of words. But now the words are in conflict with the things and t","I have this great sense of energy, like I could explode. It's a feeling, almost a sound, or an image that I'm generating, that's all in me. I feel a b","it is a kind of movement, which is at the same time a kind of force, which is, in a certain way, a kind of knowledge, which is... a kind of consciousn","and it was as if he had always known that his soul was the center of the universe, and the universe is made up of his soul and it is only when we make","I just finished writing a poem today about a bird who could speak and sing the language of love. It is about the bird of peace, and love, and joy, and","and the power of the spirit to manifest in the world is that it is the power of Love. That is the key, and that is why all of the other manifestations","And I'm seeing a strange image of this world. And the world is a strange image. And I'm seeing things in the world and I'm not seeing things in myself","the first thing I thought of was how the sun is in the center of the universe, and how this is the sun that is in the very center of the center. And i","the 'now' is in the past and the future, and that's why I'm here, because I'm a memory. And, I'm a process and I'm a mind that's all","and so, that's how I'm going to write down these things that are going through my head now. Okay? Because this is my experience of reality. If I could","it is interesting, I find myself in a place where I feel, it is as though I was born from another body. I feel I was born again from a different body.","a human being is a being whose existence is an expression of the absolute. The human being is an absolute being. I would say that we are all of us exp","the mind is the mirror of the cosmos; all of us is the mirror image of the cosmos. The world is the reflection of the cosmos, the cosmos is the reflec","It's so obvious, it's so obvious that the whole idea of the world is that it's a creation, a creation. It's a creation. But I'm not a creation, I'm","it's so weird because of course it is a space in between words. And it's an empty space. So, it's like this, this is a word. So, I'm saying words","I have no idea. I can't remember what this thing is called. I think it's something to do with the mind. It's called cognition or something. Something ","and I've got a big, fat cat, he's called 'cat', and he's got a fat body, and he's white, and he has a black tail, and I've heard","you could look at a cube, and you would say, this is the front. And then you could look over your shoulder and say, this is not the front, this is now","the second and third terms of the Fibonacci sequence: 1, 1, and 2. And I'm going to add 1 and 2 to get 3, and then add","I'll take a long break from this work, just a long break. I think it's good. I think the work is good. It's a good idea to take a long rest, I","I'm talking about a general sort of situation. You're on a train, and you don't have a book, you don't want to look around the train. You don't want p","it's kind of an interesting problem. It's like this thing. It's the same thing that's been done in the past. This is the same thing as what happens. L","if the set of all the natural numbers were a set, then the set would be finite because the set of the natural numbers is finite. But there's a problem","there's this, it's the sum of the set of all elements that are either in one of the sets, or in the other. Okay, so the union of two sets is this. And","the two variables that are most often associated with this whole business of entropy is the idea of temperature and pressure. Temperature is basically","I have to add 5% to the 44% to get 49%. Now, if I want to get a 60%, how much do I have to increase the","Okay. So we know that for the most part, we're going to have a pretty good chance of getting the right answer. The thing is that if you do something w","I'm a very strong believer that there is a God, and that God is very good and everything, and there is a world outside our heads that exists. So I'm a","I want to find the formula for the number of prime numbers between 1 to a given number. So that I can find the distribution of primes in the natural n","and then there is this big lump of the same colour as the air, it has an interior structure that is the same colour as its exterior. It is an infinite","you know, the part of the brain that makes you see things the way you do is in the middle of your head... and then the part that makes you think you'r","a. I don't have any thoughts for that. Maybe I'll just make them up, or use a tool to make them up. I'll use the tool to make thoughts up. I have","a cloud is a mass of water vapour and dust, so that it's a mass of stuff that we don't know what it is, and that it can be seen with our eyes. That","so we can say that the reason for a particular, for a specific form of expression is this. The reason for it is the form of the expression of the same","I remember that the [Earth] was not a planet, it was not the Earth. It was just the center of the universe. And I was wondering, why the center? And I","so the 'it' is an entity that does not have a personality and the 'self' is a personality. The self, for example, is a person who has certain attribut","It's the other way around. I am a part of the world. I am an individual and I am part of a whole. In a sense, I am just an expression of the world's","I'm going to talk to you about my experience. So, my experience is that I have this physical body, which is my physical body, and then I also have a c","I remember a story that I'm telling myself that goes back to the beginning of the universe. In the beginning of time there are three things; the begin","the point of that was to show that, because it is in the space of time that we exist, and the space of existence that we are in, we cannot possibly ha","I think it's not a matter of the brain being a machine that's creating thought; it's rather a matter of thought being an interaction between a human b","I'm aware of that I'm aware, I know that. I'm aware that I know that, and I'm aware that, I'm aware... I'm aware that there is a duality","And I can't see the meaning. I can't feel it. I can sense it. And it seems to be more the matter of the sense, in the sense that the sense of it is","I would like to use a different strategy than simply the 'I do it'. I would like first to give you the strategy of 'You do it', and then I would do it","I want to know what it feels like. I have to say that I'm very much attracted to the idea of the thought experiment. I like this idea. I don't think I","it was a beautiful idea. The idea was very beautiful. It was a very beautiful idea. That is why I am doing this work now, I am not trying to create an","I have a dream. I have a wish. I would like to go back in time. I would not be able to go back to the beginning of the universe, because I do not want","The same way that the brain is capable of storing an infinite quantity of information in its structure, and the brain can only create new information ","it is the idea of the individual that I want to find, I want to reconstruct an individual that I didn't know, that I didn't create, that I was a part ","I know, but the main thing is, you've got to get it to the point where you're going to be able to say to yourself, 'What is going to happen now, I mus","what happens when you look at an object, the fact that we see that it is here, but we cannot feel it, is an important fact, and that's a fact that I'm","I was thinking about the problem of the parallel universes... Now what is going on is that we have an object in our mind. We think of a number of dime","I remember reading about this in the Times in 1935 or 1940 or so. And I think I have it in some book of the Encyclopedia Britannica. I can","what is the most general structure of the human mind? ... A lot of people would say that there are only two structures, namely the rational and the em","[I] have an idea that there may be a connection between the idea of space-time and the idea of the human mind. I know that space-time is a geometric s","I have a thought that the universe is composed of a very high density of matter, so that the speed of light is not the velocity of a photon, but it is","So, the next thing is that they can put them into different shapes, different forms and they can be folded up into different shapes. But in addition t","and so here are some things that you might have forgotten to mention... In general, I think we have two types of problems in general physics, the firs","... a small circle, a sphere. Now, if I take the radius of this sphere and draw a cone with it, with the top of the cone at the center of the sphere, ","we are trying to show, using the methods of the physical sciences, that consciousness is a real thing, a thing that can be described, measured, and ma","[w]e need to think of what is the right way to solve this problem, and that is to be able to compute the length of the arc of this curve in a way that","it's the only one of the three [methods of modeling] that seems to make some sense of this [the problem of the missing square]. If you take the first ","now we have to start from some initial condition. Let us make some assumptions. The assumption is that there are three things that we can do to genera","[S]o I'm looking at it as if I have a telescope, and I'm trying to pick up certain frequencies. And one of them is the frequency of the musical scale.","you know what, it's just the very fact that we are in a classroom here that's actually an example of what I'm talking about, right? Like, in a way, yo","and the idea of the world of physics was that everything is made of these fundamental particles. I mean, there's no reason why they're fundamental, bu","and then there's the other side of it. When we do this and we talk about it in the language of physics, we are really making the hypothesis that there","I'm doing what I'm doing because of a habit that has developed, it's been with me since childhood. In my childhood I saw how many times the human body","so, if you were in a situation like the one I just described, you'd need to be able to ask for the things you need and understand what is being offere","you know, there are certain situations, that I, as a psychologist, think are highly relevant. One is a situation in which one wants to do something, o","and a problem of language, a problem of symbols, is that these symbols are very strong, they are not very weak, and there is a strong tendency in peop","The subject's task in this study is to verbalize whatever he is thinking at this moment. And the reason for this is to determine in what sense, if any","the [unspecified] I and the [unspecified] non-I are connected through the self. The I, which is not the self, is the same as the non-I. The self is","I can do it [solve the problem]. I can do something. I can solve a problem. It's not impossible. I can do [solving problem]. It is not impossible. The","[it's] [a]n interesting thing that if you can really listen to what you're saying, then you can come to realize what you're doing. [It's] not just a","the way I see it, we have to distinguish between two things, namely, (a) the world (b) and the self, which is the agent, who sees the world. If we","a dream I had yesterday night ... and I had this image of a building that I had just built a few days ago. And the building has a circular structure. ","The big question in the end will be that, if we go out into the world, do we go out as an entity or do we go out in a collection of sub-parts? And so ","I'm sitting here with my eyes closed and I'm not really paying attention to anything, I'm not thinking, I'm just being present as a being. I'm being, ","the [earlier] session where the thought was allowed to develop. I don't have to work with it, I just let it develop. It's a bit like watching a movie,","I am talking to myself. And it's almost a dialogue. And the dialogues is between the person who is talking and the person who's listening. And that pe","And so, for instance, the question that I ask myself is: what is the truth? And how can you know the truth? Well, I can never know the truth. And I ca","and that's it. There is no more. And that is the end of the world. Well, I don't know. It is a strange question, the meaning of existence. And yet it","and in the middle there is a gap in my memory, a gap that goes back to 1971, or maybe even further than that. It is the memory of my own birth,","I'm a thinking of a memory, about what I am doing, about the things that I do, about the existence of something that does not exist, about the very ex","and then I have the idea that I have to go somewhere and then I am there and then I forget how I came and then I go somewhere else and then I remember","the moment in which we are now, which is the moment in the middle of the session, this moment, this very moment, has already been, has already existed","... the third is, there are four sides of a circle. You see, this is one of these things that is very simple, but yet it is very difficult to express ","the brain, the mind, the heart... what is it that is the seat of consciousness... it's difficult to tell where it is. You may have an image of it. You","and now I'm not thinking anything of particular import. I'm just sitting here. I'm trying to be still. I'm not having a thought of particular import, ","... a thought, it came to me that I'd like to play a little with the idea of the space and the time. So the idea of space is something that is created","I just thought that if the Universe is one, then it must also be a field, and not a set of objects, as we imagine them, or as we conceive of them. It ","the effect of the ether, this matter which fills space, is to bind the forces together. I can't explain that. The ether has the property of binding th","I've always known that there is a kind of non-physical reality. That's one of the things I've always believed. That we can't see it because we are bou","and it seems to me that the primary concern in life, the primary purpose of life, is to create life. To create life in all of its forms, that is, to c","and the entire universe is, I would say, a kind of wave function... a function which is not actually there. It exists as a kind of possibility. But as","now we can say that it is possible to construct the world in the manner of a quantum mechanical system. And one can then ask: is it possible that the ","Now the word 'conscience' comes to me and I can see the image of the word, 'conscience'. I can see how the word, consciousness, the word 'conscious' a","it's not as though I had a conscious control over it, although I didn't seem to have any trouble in putting it into words. I'm not sure whether the wo","I think of a moment when the whole of a person's life can be seen, like in a time lapse film. It's the same with a computer program. You can't go back","and if that's a real situation, then how can you deal with it? ...There are two ways. You can say: it's not real. ...This is a different sort of space","[i]t's an interesting thing to see what comes of the thoughts that you just allow to come in the way that they come. It's like seeing a cloud drifting","it's almost like a conversation. But you have to get your brain to work in a new way, to allow it to think, but then let it think freely, in this way ","I'm looking at this problem in terms of two different perspectives, and I'm trying to think how they relate to each other, and I realize that they're ","the problem is, we don't know what to do when we get to a situation like that, where we have to deal with some aspect of the world we haven't been tra","[I am] an engineer, and that is a kind of a thing where there's a lot of thought going on about what's the right way to do the thing, and I know the r","And what I have been doing is trying to find out what the brain is made out of. It seems that the brain is a field of energy which is interacting with","and then you are the person who is in front of the computer and you have to write that down. The person who is looking at the computer screen does not","[A]n interesting question to ask is the following: if I have an object, like a chair, for instance, and I take a pencil and write the word chair, then","what does it mean to be alive? What does it mean that we are living? If there is a material world that is real and there is a subjective world, that w","I'm going to stop thinking about these words, and I'm going to put myself in a state where I'm not thinking, and then I'll begin to think again. When ","The third law of motion is that when you exert a force upon something, that same force is exerted back on you. Now, what does that mean? Well, it mean","I'm working on this. I'm thinking about a system, and I know that there are certain parameters. The way we have been thinking about systems is that we","[This] is an example of a mathematical theory. It's the mathematical theory that if you have a function that is continuous, it is defined for a point ","a thought arises in my mind and I say out loud, 'I need to buy a new monitor, because this old monitor is failing, and it needs to be replaced'... So ","there's the idea of what's the minimum that is required to be a computer. I was thinking about the famous example of the universal Turing machine. The","and I think the main difference between a person's life and a machine's life is that a person has a consciousness. And a machine has an algorithm and ","And so there was a huge debate over whether there is consciousness or not, because the entire field of quantum mechanics is based on the idea that eve","my thoughts were to the point that I could think of many different kinds of things to do with this. I thought of a lot of different mathematical theor","I'm trying to think about what the meaning is of this thing that I'm doing here. I've got my left hand here, I've got a box here, and I'm looking at i","and I am thinking about this, and I'm going to tell you a story, and you can tell me if it's true. The story is about a child, and we're going to focu","and this is a very difficult thing for me to do, to try to get inside myself and to be able to describe how I am and why I am here. This is a very tou","and so I'm saying it to you. I know I know that it is my brain, but there are many things that happen in my brain that are not in the brain, and that ","I have a new idea. It is like the old idea, but I've added an extra condition to it. It's just like the old one, except for this one thing. That's the","I can't stop thinking. My brain is so active. My consciousness is so active, it's hard for me to be conscious. It's a great challenge. It's not so eas","this is the opposite of what is happening to us. The opposite of what we are seeing in our environment, in our consciousness, the opposite of the phys","my thoughts are more about me than anything else, and this is not good. I don't know why, but this is what happens, it is the case. When I am thinking","I'm thinking about the brain and about the relationship between the brain and the mind. And the fact that we can think about our thoughts, that we can","[Says something about] a garden, and there are butterflies and hummingbirds and all these other things are like this in the garden, and they're just o","this is very interesting, this is very surprising, I don't understand how we're here and how we're doing this. I'm here and I'm doing something. But I","I think the moment when I become conscious that I'm doing a thinking exercise, that's the moment when the thought I'm working on becomes clear to me a","it's a kind of music, so it's kind of like a song... so it's like a song, so there's rhythm, so it has rhythm. But I think there's two levels","so it's interesting, because I can tell myself: 'this is a thought.' And then I can tell my thought: 'you're a thought,' so my thought, my thought's t","the presence of this state of mind, that this is always present in the mind, in every moment, that I can perceive it, I can recognize it as something ","I'm thinking about the things that you said, because you've made the observation that my mind is not going to the thing I'm talking about, but I think","I'm wondering, what is this? What does it mean that I'm talking to you like this, when you're not physically here? And I'm saying 'this' and I'm not s","and now I'm thinking, I am thinking, I'm thinking of what you said, I think you said that this is a test of the truth of the body. Is it a test of tru","the other thing was I was just thinking that when I look at the tree and I'm looking at the tree I'm not really looking at the leaves. I'm actually lo","I see an empty room. Empty. It is not empty. I am in it. And I am not in it. It is a room. And it is not a room. I am inside","And then I think, well, it is interesting, the way that the thing, the idea of it, that is coming into my mind. If I look at it, I am not sure what","[a] lot of the thoughts that are passing through my mind, they seem to be in the form of words that are coming out. ... The first thing that was in my","the eye that can see what is not there, but that can also see what is here, that can see in that way, in which way it is possible to see, in that way ","And now that's what's bothering me: we don't have any fixed boundaries in our thinking, we don't know how to do that. We are not very aware of them, w","I'm trying to make myself aware of a point where a body of experience is a point of contact with the whole. And the body of experience seems to have a","and I know that there is a need for an intelligent organization, an intelligent society. In the last century, there were two large world wars and the ","and in this way, I am part of this community, this universe, of all that is, this whole of consciousness that is my consciousness, the consciousness t","I can remember as a child when I was quite small, I used to read books that I did not understand, that is, books of the type that we call non-fiction ","there is a circle of cells in the brain that is activated at the onset of a thought. This is the same circle of cells that is activated in the brain d","I see myself as an open person... I can easily accept something that I cannot really understand, and this openness is very important in order to be ab","[T]he world has been changing for about five thousand years, and it's changing fast, and so when I look at this change and the development of the huma","it is very clear that if you think about a particular topic, and you don't write it down, your thinking will evolve as it evolves. But if you write it","(pause) The 'me' or the self. What is that? Is it this body, that body that I feel in the brain and that I use? Is it my brain, my mind","and here the [world] is. It's a [world] that exists, that is being created, that is taking place at that moment, as it is, as I am now. The","I know that this is not a closed loop, that there is a physical component that cannot be reduced to anything else, to a computation or to any mathemat","and I see in my mind that there is an element of the same thing that we have seen in our quantum physics. There are actually many other things that ar","what am I doing right now? I am saying something to you, right? And you are listening to it, right? Well, you can't just say that because it's an epis","I can't believe it is my first sentence. I am speaking to myself and it is not an ordinary statement; it is an object of study. I am describing my sta","I have just experienced the first moments of a dream-like state. A sort of drowsiness. I think it is due to the fact that the mind is no longer comple","a light and then a sound. The light is of a blue colour, and the light is more or less steady and then there is a sound coming from the light, a very "],["[15] We could go back to our house. If we were to get to our house, we would have a lot of things we wouldn't be able to do, we'd be tired","this is the other thing I've been trying to figure out, and it's not coming. I'm trying to get at it, and it just isn't coming. What I was going to sa","and if we are really honest, we might have to say, if you have to deal with this, then you're not a scientist; you're not somebody who can do science.","I think of what I'm doing, like, what are you doing in your life, you know, what is it? I'm a human, you know what I mean? So I don't","it is the same thing, but I'm a lot younger. I don't think I can change anything in the middle, but if it's not working, then I'm going to have to cha","and so I guess that's that. I have no idea what you're talking about. I have absolutely no idea, you know, that's what I'm saying. I can't find it.","I can't be here, can I? I just can't be here. I'm supposed to be elsewhere, you know. I'm not here, I'm not listening. I'm somewhere else","And that's when I think about, you know, the way I'm writing the thing now. I know that if I don't finish it, if I don't, you know, just make","I don't know. You know, it's kind of hard to really answer the question. But, I mean, I do. I have. I do. ...I have this one idea about","I was watching an episode of something, a reality show. And one guy was like, he was doing something and then he would get up and say something to the","[a]nother one that I am working on... is the 'Kissing Cousins' problem. In the book it's called the 'Kiss Cousins' problem, and there is a problem","and then, if we make some assumption about what happened in the past, and the assumptions are not necessarily true, we're going to be making predictio","the two [models] are quite different, but in some cases they may overlap. And then I was thinking of the case where one is an instance of the other. T","And that's really the reason why we have this whole problem of social philosophy, if you like, because there's a kind of gap here in our knowledge and","this is an abstract system and it's like a machine or an instrument. It's a black box and you can't go inside it and see how it's working. There's som","what I do is I try to make use of the fact that I have an experience. I have an empirical experience of a world, and I try to analyze it. And if I ana","So you can see, here, that there is this thing which is called, let us say, a concept of a number, a concept that is an ideal type of an infinite numb","my thoughts are all concerned with the future: plans, plans, plans. I'm planning to go to a seminar, or a lecture, or a workshop on ... on the psychol","it's as if I were a number. As if I were some sort of material that could be brought into existence out of nothing. I'm a number; I'm not something th","I'm a great believer in the possibility of doing a lot of good things. I want to have some sort of impact upon society. And one of the things that I'v","this is something that comes out of the unconscious mind, but not entirely unconscious. For the moment we can assume that there is nothing unconscious","now, I think of the language I'm using in this talk, I think it's in English. I've got the impression that it's in Japanese, but it's in German. It's","the doorbell rings and I say I'm not at home. And a woman says, 'You're not at home?' I think I have to be at home, and I'm not there,","and then it occurred to me that these results, if true, could be explained as a consequence of an effect of the magnetic field on the electron's spin,","this is just another random image, but in this image, I see this 'square' that I think has a square boundary, but what I actually see is a set of line","... ... ... ... [The participant] ... ... ... ..., the second ... ... ... . the ... ... ... the ... ... ..., this ... ... ... and ... ... ... is a ...","there was something that came to me, but I don't know if I can say it. ... there is a difference between being and existence, between the subject and ","[I]n my mind, I have an image of the face of a child. I can see it as clearly as I see an object. I can even move the image around, and turn","the sound of a very loud machine which has a very loud hum, a very loud noise. I am a woman. The sound of the machine is a continuous sound, but with ","The word 'thoughts' is also used here in the sense of thoughts in general, and not as a synonym for the mental process of thinking. We do not refer to","it's like I'm talking to a stranger, a stranger on the other side of the room, or a stranger in my head. So it's kind of like a conversation with a st","that's something about the future, and a lot of things about the past, and some things about the present. So, for example, the future could be things ","the other day we had this exercise and I was like... it was just really easy... I could do that in my sleep, I mean, I don't even have to think about ","and I just want to know whether you can actually trust the system, or if you're going to have to trust it and just sort of hand it over to it and see ","the next one is the 64-bit version. You can see that it's very close to the 32-bit version. We can see that they're mostly just differences in the reg","and the next thing you know is that you're making your own choices and that you're just working off of what you've seen before... and it's kind of a s","that's exactly what the computer does when it has to add up all the numbers in a spreadsheet. It knows how to add numbers. So when you tell it to add,","if I were to, how to say this, let's say, the set of all natural numbers, so that would be 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on","okay, now i'm going to imagine some number of cubes of different sizes and colors, and i'm going to take each one of them and i'm gonna look at it and","I'm just about to get to the point of writing down the summary of the results and getting it right, so that's what I'm doing right now. Now I'm lookin","now that the experiment is over I think we're going to see an improvement, but I don't know how it will improve the quality of the results. Maybe it's","OK, I know that the average is given by the sum of the values divided by the number of elements. I also know that the sum of the deviations from the a","I think that 99.9% of the world's population are idiots. What percentage of idiots are in the world? What is an idiot? ... That is an idiot's answer, ","And it's just the way that the human mind works. It's just how the mind works. And that's the point I want to get to, that the human brain does the be","Now that I have this, I think I can work out the next step. Well, I can't. I can't really. I don't have a clear idea of what is going on.","and then you want to do, like, a, a little bit more of an integration, and it's not necessarily the same as the first step because you may have some m","26th April. I got back here, and I took some pictures. The camera is on the desk, the laptop is on the lap, and I'm typing a story. The story","and then they have an exam. Well, this is what I'd do. I'd write something out for the exam that is more useful than the textbook, and I'd have the st","the number of possible configurations of the molecules in the gas, as you say, and the entropy is a measure of how much uncertainty there is, how many","and we have, I think, this idea, or this concept, of the particle being a physical thing, or an entity. So the particle is an entity. And I want to sa","I want to be able to take care of my kids, so I can get a job. That's a problem. That is a problem. I think I should have been able to do something,","So in other words, it's the same kind of problem of what is going on in my head that I can describe with these numbers here... I'm just trying to find","and the result of this would be to go back to the beginning of time, and have the universe be exactly as it was at that time, but to have a different ","and I'll have to go through this again because it will not be finished until you have had a chance to say everything out loud, and if you do not have ","a very large tree in front of me, in a clearing. And it's a clearing with a small forest behind it. And that forest is dense, but the tree is very lar","now I'm thinking about a big block of ice, and what happens to that when it's dropped into hot water. It gets warmer, and warms the water and becomes ","[my brain] is in a state of great excitement, great tension and also great excitement... I'm going to write an essay about the world, about the univer","... ... and there's the next problem, which is the question of whether we can think of this as the whole world of our world. In that case, we could th","I'm going to draw a figure on a white sheet of paper. I'm going to leave it in front of me. And I'm going to imagine, in my imagination, this figure. ","what the hell is this? ... It's a computer, isn't it? ... It must be a computer, it's got an on/off switch, it's a piece of equipment. I don","a voice, and it comes into my brain. The voice is not me. The voice says, 'I will go.' I say, 'Go where? Go where? Go somewhere.' I am","I see myself in a chair, my left foot on the floor, and I feel the floor is soft, my feet are sinking a little. I have two feet on the chair, and my h","the table. The table is made of wood. Wood is made of molecules of carbon and hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Molecules are made of atoms. The table is sol","this is a test. It is a test of how your mind works. Your mind is an active organ, it does work. It is like a computer or an automaton. It works and t","all this is just a series of motions and actions which are inter-related, and therefore inter-perturbable, inter-active and inter-dependent. The actio","I'm having a thought that if I can get this thing up and running, I can do a whole series of experiments on the matter of how the human mind works. Th","it's an infinite set of objects, it's not finite. And it's not something that is actually made up of finite things, because it's just infinite things.","this is what I've learned from the practice of meditation. I'm learning to be more open to all kinds of things. I'm not trying to focus on anything in","I just think that I should be able to make a program that would tell you what the possible next thoughts are going to be, given the current state of t","so I am going to stop writing for the rest of the day and concentrate on this. So that is to say, I am going to use my brain in a different way to sol","I'm looking at the text here in the notebook and I'm trying to get a sense for what is the most efficient way to do the task that I'm assigned. I've g","I'll use this thing here, this thing here. I'll use this to break it into 400 by 400. ... It's the same thing as the 40","OK, OK, OK. I've got a problem that I'd like to talk to you about, I think it's called an implementation plan. ... I have a project that I would like ","and the problem is that the program is, at the moment, not completely finished. I have to complete it. I have a list of what I need to do in order to ","and this is where it gets tricky. So we can get this to work, what we're going to do is actually a little bit different, because we've got to be able ","I know the one on the right, the one that we can do is the one on this side. I know this one, I know this one. I know that the one on that side is","[c]onsider the possibility that a very short time after the signal that you are to respond to, you actually have to make a decision and to execute tha","a big picture is to have the data collected in a way where you have the data that can be analyzed. In some way. I could go into the database and see w","[00:14] ... I think this is a good point, but I think there is still something I need to check. It's this: 1000. [0","I see a robot, a robot, something. A robot, a mechanical robot, a robotic device. I see a robot that has a, that has, that has a laser on one side,","and what you're doing now is an example of a what, right? ... ... a what? ... ... is it a program? ... ... it's a ... ... ... a program? ... ...","you can say the name of the author. And if you've seen a picture of a certain person, you can say that. And you can say where it came from. But you ca","00:09:30: 48:53:45 33 1 203 0 4 0 130 0","is the set of rules that allows a system to implement the syntactic structure of sentences, to which it gives meaning. The language processing in the ","that's why I always felt that the idea of the (incomplete sentence) of the idea of an object was (incomplete). I am saying that in the absence of a co","what are the consequences of this kind of analysis? To do this, I had to think about all this. The first thing that came to my mind was 'that's easy' ","now I'm thinking of a number that's in the neighborhood of 312. 311 314. 3. 1. 2. 12 is","uh... I think that uh I'm doing it wrong... I'm not doing it... I'm trying to think of some way of thinking, uh, that you know, I'm trying uh,","and so if I were to come up with some numbers and say 1.23, then there's going to be some 0.00001 difference between this value and this","we're talking about... um... the... the... thingy... thingies that are... that are... oh, there are... oh... I don't know, I'm not sure. That","so this is the idea of a loop, and this is a very simple example of a loop. So, the idea is this, we start with a certain, let's say, real number,","I will now do what I could never do before. I will use a machine, a computer. I will put a piece of paper down. I will write down everything. I will n","The [psychic] process is a set of transformations of states of the matter which has a definite energy. The transformation of states of matter with ene","so if it's a square, it has four equal sides, but we don't know how it's oriented. We could have a square rotated 45 degrees, so all it's sides are","The words I have to think about how to write it, it's really hard to get it into words, because words are not the way of expressing what I think. It's","and then you start thinking and you just want to have all the information that is useful to you and you try to do that and then it's like, okay, it's ","so the graph of 2 times sin x is not only going to have the same shape as sin x, but it is going to have an amplitude that is twice the amplitude of s","the color blue. The color blue, when I was a kid, the color blue was something that I was obsessed with. I would have a blue t-shirt, and then I would","[the sound of a car going past] ... [the sound of the car] ... the sound of a dog ... [the dog's sound] ... the dog's sound ... [the dogs sound","I know I have done this before. This is an old trick. I have seen this trick before. I have used it before. I know there are things to do with it. I h","I feel that we're having a conversation here. And I feel like this is a conversation that you are having with me. But this conversation isn't having a","and there was the first day, and the second day, and there was the third day, and it was the third time that God said the third time, and there it was","the subject is in a state of quiet, in a state that is quiet as the world is, and there is no distinction. In the beginning it is thought and is langu","and this is the world as a whole. And this is a fragment of the world. And the fragment is a whole in itself, because the whole of the world is the fr","now the moon and the sun are almost the same distance from the Earth... now the moon is... in... in... it is not a straight line, but it is a curved l","a woman standing in front of a computer screen, which is surrounded by a halo of stars, a black halo with stars, a woman surrounded by stars and there","and the words I am using are like waves. And the meaning of words is like waves in a waveguide. The meaning of words are waves in an infinite waveguid","there's something else that you can see with this. I mean, with all these different pictures, if I were to put a picture on a screen, if I put a pictu","And I can see it like that. And that is the end of the universe as I see it. And the end of my universe is, in a sense, an infinite series. And that's","224221222141214412241422444112211112124","and the [not yet existing] new kind of computer, the parallel computer, will not be able to be designed with the standard sequential approach to compu","and I was thinking about how the mind is a form of the material universe. And the universe is a form of mind. That is a way of saying, that the mind a","you know, the notion of infinity, that's kind of a strange idea. When you think about it, infinity is always increasing. You can't have it at rest. It","I see in front of me a dark room and I see two black holes. Each one is the size of the room. In one of the holes there is an image of a tree. In the","and then suddenly I realized that the problem was not a problem, it was the solution, it was not a difficulty, it was an opportunity, it was a possibi","the expression of 'I' is the only expression that is real, that is irreducible to something else. In all other cases the expression is a reflection of","the past is a matter of memory, it can be described in words. It is a matter of a system of language, and in this language the past can be described a","we've seen that the total of what is thought about is not in the proportion of one part knowledge and six parts perception and three parts imagination","And you know, you know, there's a certain amount of effort involved in keeping a conversation going, and a certain amount is involved in keeping an in","the body's energy, which I am not, and that's the mystery, where does this energy come from, it comes from some other source, and that source is what ","this is just the way that you think, you know, if you think about a thing, it is an idea of the thing and you do not think of the thing itself, you on","so, we can't even find an atom in our brain which is the same as the atom in a rock, for instance. Even if we are in the same place, we are not in the","it's a kind of mental exercise, of sorts, to bring yourself into contact with a level of consciousness, and to make contact with the level of consciou","there was a moment where I thought, oh, well, this is the end of time and space...and this is the last thought that I'll have about this, so what will","I see this: the structure of a circle, a point in the centre of it, and a series of straight lines going out from it. Now, if I want to see the struct","I see the Earth, I see the Sun, I see... the stars, the stars in the sky, the stars, I see a blackness, a blackness that surrounds everything, a black","the square of the wave function ... the probability ... of the probability of the wave ... wave is a function ... probability of a wave ... wave funct","I think I remember the experience of seeing this strange event and not being able to understand why it happened. I think I'm trying to understand why ","And the circle is of course the most important circle. I call it the circle of light. I have a feeling that this circle is not in a plane. The circle ","and then I see something coming and it's a wall of water which has come from the sea and it's coming over the mountains, and it's flowing in a straigh","the present tense. In the past there were no people, only the space in which there was space. There is no time; the world has no past and no future, b","the three points of the triangle, and the four points of the square, and the five points of the pentagram. And the six points of the hexagon, and the ","my soul is so attached to the body that it is like a piece of wax. But this is a trick of my imagination, it is the body which is attached to the soul","And it's like I was always coming into the world, always coming into this world, and this is the end. There is no beginning and there is no end. There","I can hear the music. It's in my head. And it's all going on around me. But I can't touch it. I can't hold it, I can't control it,","it is just the moment, the very moment itself, that has no beginning and no end. It is the very moment of the beginning and the end, the moment of tim","I see an immense ball, a blue sphere. I feel myself in the midst of it, a fragment of the whole. I see a sun, I see a moon. I see that I am","I'm watching a white dot. It is a dot that appears in the middle of my vision. It is like a spot of light. I watch it. It is just there. It is not","and suddenly, as if it was just an instant, my right eye was closed and my left eye was open. And it seemed to me that this light that had been within","and the next one was going to be in this very place. The other one, that was in the direction of the window. And it's going to be here. It's going to ","what I am saying, is a little like the voice of the wind in the trees, which you hear when you are a few yards from the trees. And so, all at once, yo","Now I see a man. He is walking through the city, a city of concrete, a city in the sky. He is wearing a helmet, like the man that I saw on the other s","and I'm holding my hands out in front of me and the light from the window is shining on the floor in a long line, a long bright line and I'm looking d","but that's a part of the house. You must remember that it's the same as the outside house, only it's inside. But there's a difference in the outside h","the only time that the thing would ever happen is when I would be in a state of complete relaxation... and complete relaxation is not a state that one","now the moment comes when I see the tree, a tree of the universe, a tree that is not a tree but the tree that is everything. And it is there. This tre","that was what I was going to say. I see, that is all of it, it is the end. I can see now that it is the beginning also. And now I see that this","you have a body, you have a body and you are the body, but the body is not you. You are not the body, you are not the body. The body is not what you","And I could also go into the future and look at how that would work out, how that would look, what would the future be like in that time and space, ho","the infinite is not infinite at all, but just infinite. The infinite is not a quantity, but a relation. For example, the relation of a circle to its d","[The image] has become an archetypal sign which, like a symbol, contains a whole multitude of meanings. It has an archetypal quality. It has its own l","I see a plane, and a plane is a symbol for a certain kind of movement. I'm not sure how to describe it. ... I'm trying to see what it means, but it do","Now, I think of a house of cards... I can't make it... I am making the house of cards and I can't see the support... I can see that there are supports","it's like a mathematical object, that is, like a set of operations. A set of operations is the set of instructions, so that a mathematical object is l","I can see you are just an ordinary thing, the way I am, and I am ordinary in myself. You are a part of me, a part of the whole I, that is you.","It's all a matter of relative scale, I suppose. ... So that is to say, the point of the problem is this. You can say the universe is the same at any s","there's no such thing as a mind, because there is no mind. You have the thought of the mind. In order to think, you have to be a thinker. That which t","I want to go back to the beginning of the universe. I am very curious about where all of this came from, why the universe exists, and why we are here.","and, oh, it's very beautiful here. Here it's very bright, here the sun shines, here the moon is shining, here the stars are shining, here is a univers","the path of the mind through the night of the world is a road which it cannot travel alone. The road of the night is the way of the dead. It is the wa","I have a thought. This is a thought I have had before. I can't remember where. But I feel it is very familiar. This is the same thing as it was before","And I was at the bottom of a valley, and the whole valley was covered with snow, and it was all a great white sea, and I was moving over it, and I mov","I was just thinking of a long, long way down in the earth, and of the little creatures down there, and of their homes and how they lived, and what the","and then I thought of the two words, 'And, Oh', and that's all I can think of at the moment, but it seems that this is the end, that's all this has","this is a beautiful song! It's all over and it's over there. It's all right. I'm happy. It's going on like this, the whole world. And now we have","the earth was in darkness; a great storm came from the sea, and the storm rose. And there were great whirlwinds and whirlwinds were everywhere. And th","and suddenly I hear the little dog bark in the moonlight... it is all the same... I feel that I am the tree, and that everything is the same, that eve","Now this is very strange! Now it is as if a man who has just risen from a deep sleep suddenly finds himself in the midst of a vast forest. And all aro","you can't hold up the sky and let the sun down. And if you could, you'd be drowning in your own blood. I remember a dream where I had to hold up the s","I am sitting in the bath with my head on the warm water. My mind is full of thoughts. I want to write the whole of it down, but it would be impossible","and all the rest of the trees will fall down, and I'll be there under them. They'll be big and heavy, and I don't know if I can stand up, or if I","The air was heavy with a warm scent like burning, but the smell wasn't burning. It was more like a smell in a house after it's been left empty for a w","there are two pairs of green eyes on me. I don't know what's happening to me. They are not green. They're blue. The blue eyes are shining on me. There","and I wonder if the stars in the sky are moving too, you know, in the same way that the trees are moving, because that way they can see each other mor","the old woman [of the statue] who lived with the fish. She's been there a long time, she says she's been there since the very beginning, the fish she'","and I thought I had something that made me look like a black bear. But it wasn't a black bear, it was a brown one. I thought I could draw it with the ","it's an old house. The door's an old door too. I wonder why. It's a big old door. The windows are big, too, and the glass is clear and clean.","it's a boy, and they don't like boys very much, not very many like boys... and they call them little dogs, and they say they're not afraid of them. He","you're talking about the frog?...The frog...Oh, I think...Oh, look there, he's in the pool, the little frog...The frog's in the pond, and it","I'm going to put in a tree. ... I'm going to make this the trunk of the tree. ... We'll do this up here. ... It's going to be a tree, with","that I am always telling my daughter to read, so that's why I got these here books here, because she is only seven, and I want to keep her from being ","I can't decide whether to put the napkins on the table in the room. I want to put them on the table near the chair but I know that the kids would get ","I've been trying to think of an idea for a story. I could tell about my parents getting married. Or, I could tell how I got my name. Or, how I got a n","the one on the right was the one that my father used to cut up with the meat saw, and my mother used to make it into things, like shirts, and pants, a","I guess this one is about a little girl and the way she looked at me when I gave her the orange. You know I don't have much money so I had a lot of th","now we'll make some music for you. Let me put the music in here and play it. (the music plays. It is the first one. A song about a man and a girl.)","I'm talking to the children's book I'm writing. They're going to be called The Gracious Guest. I want them to be friendly, like people at a party. The","I wish my brother was here. He is in a hospital, and is very ill. The doctor said he would die in a few days. He has a lot of aches and pains, and","there are many ways to make a living. The one thing that I can't make a living at is, I can't play the violin any more, that's too bad. I have to,","and that's about it for today's visit. I'd like to stay here, but I know that's not a good idea. There is nothing to eat here. The only food is cracke","I've never seen a whale. I've always wanted to see a whale. A real live whale. I think we should have a whale in the pond, and a big whale, and a litt","and then the little girl who was sitting on the stairs she had a little yellow dress and she had a doll with her that she was feeding her little siste","And I guess I would never have been in trouble with him but if he had seen that I was going to be in trouble. I just don't know what I would have done","and then there are the ones who are always calling me, and they don't know what to say, but they want me to say it for them. I don't like the ones who","'you are a funny little birdy,' I said to her. 'You are a funny little girl,' I said, 'with your little white dress and your big red shoes. And your h","... I think we've done it. It's done, isn't it? And you were supposed to get this much. This much. And now you'll go and get some of those things and","I am thinking about you now, and you are not here. I am thinking of you. I am so glad that you are my friend, and that you have not gone to the North ","oh, yes, it's true, I'm a gullible old fool! I'm a simple, innocent, old, poor, gullible, fool. I've been cheated. I","Oh, he's gone to heaven! He's gone to be with Jesus, and he's going to tell the old lady what he done, and she's going to take a great lot of trouble","a great, big, big, huge, big, great, big lake. The water was blue and green, and so clear you could see down to the bottom. The lake was so big the","and I've got to take care of the family and then I'm going to come to this house and I'll have to make all the beds and then you'll have to go and get","the smell of the coffee. I hope I didn't spill it on the floor. I was careful, wasn't I? Well, if it did spill I'd better go and get more. That","I remember a time when I had a little pet mouse, and the name of it was Dinky, but it was a big one and a black one, and I was a very little girl.","this is the story of how I made a bird. I started with a piece of red wood. I used a big knife to cut it into a little bird's body. Then I cut the hea","the little girl who I saw, she's playing with her baby doll...oh, my...I think it's time to go. It's cold out. Oh, no! It's snowing","the old man was getting on his horse, and he was going to ride over to the river and he was carrying a big stick, and he wanted to go and break his le","and it was a bit like this, wasn't it? No, there was a man and a lady, but I can't see the man in the picture; they're both in white. They","I remember the name of a school, the name of the headmaster. It is a school in the country, in a village. It is the little school which is only for bo","my head is aching. Yes, a headache! It's all in my mind! I can't see my mother, I'm afraid. I've a terrible headache. I was afraid of it","the man who made the pot was a woman with black hair, and she made it in the village of Ypres. It was a beautiful pot, and when she was making it, she","it is a terrible thing that I have never learned to play the piano. My mother used to play, but she was not at home when I was born, and I have never ","I like this house, I've a lot of friends in it... and I was telling you that my father was a terrible man, that he didn't know how to love me... but w","now I am thinking of the game of chess, how I used to play it with your father. I cannot think of anything else. We would have long matches, and I won","so that if you should happen to be in the next room, you would know it was me who was in the bed, and then, if you did happen to go in, I might have b","and it was a long time, so I told her to go to bed. But she wouldn't. She lay with her feet out of the bed and her arms at her head, and she wouldn","I do not know if you are awake or asleep... I don't know what I'm doing here... I feel cold... I've just got into my bed... I can see a man in the","I'd just thought of something that's been in my mind for a while and I wanted to tell you. I'm sure you know I can't marry anybody, because my father ","I want to tell you something, because it will interest you. It's about a girl you've never seen in your life, who lives here. Her name is Ann, and her","It's always been my fate to suffer from rheumatism. I didn't know that till I was thirty-five, when I had to take medicine to stop it. Then my mother ","and then the big thing about this is that the king of Egypt said to us, 'We are going to bring you to the king, and see how you are, and if you are th","And they don't know what to do. What to do with them? I think they've done their duty. They have all the right things in their pockets. They had them ","now let's talk about your brother-in-law. No, I don't know his name, I can't even remember what his name was. But he's got a wife and children and is ","and you want to know what they're saying? Why don't they say they're going to the funeral? They're all dead; they're all there. I'll tell you, I'm a","and the next morning he got out of bed and took a bath, and in the bath he found that the piece had fallen off his leg, and he got into a great fright","well, and what he said, and what he was saying, and what she was saying, it was all incoherent, but it was what was incoherent; and we all heard it","[pause] I got up at three this morning. It was very cold. And then I went in for a cup of tea. And it was a nice cup of tea and it was all right","I was a child of five and I was a boy. It was the day before the feast and my mother said to me, 'Oh, go and ask the butcher to send the meat up to","I remember when I was a small boy, I used to like going to church, and I used to take my little white stockings off and put on my red ones, and my mot","you know, I've often thought that a big difference between an Englishman and an American is that the Americans have a little more imagination than the","I said to him, 'There are only two things in life that I never had, and never shall have, and never want: the first is to be a man, the second is to h","I could say this: I'm so glad that you're here, and I'll never see you again. You were so beautiful. You were a very fine girl. You were very lovely a","and she put it up on her shelf, and she kept it there until she was six years old, and I had to go to her and ask her to take it down. I had forgotten","you know what I was thinking of, was my dear old lady who died, you know, I went out there and saw the grave, and I said, 'Oh, my dear old lady.'","this is the same old story! That is the first thing that came to my mind as I was lying here. It is a very interesting story. It was written by a Germ","so if we were going to make a map of the world it would be a bit like a map of a country, a map of one of our countries, would it be a good map of the","I think this is my first year I'm going to the gym, because I have never been a member before. I know you have to have a membership, but it's a good i","the whole idea of the mind, and how it's really just a program in your head, which is made up of two or three people, and all the things you've done i","a big idea: a computer. A big idea of how I'm going to do my thesis, a computer. It was a very, very important concept. It's just that I'm very intere","and then we're going to do a test on the computer. So I guess it's gonna be on the same sort of thing that we're looking at. I don't know, I might go","It's almost like a computer that just keeps on going. And I feel like a computer, and I feel like you, that I'm just putting things in and I'm just ge","you know, I'm wondering, what I want to say is, you know, you say this and this and this, but how about this, and this, and you say this, but you","I'm going to bed now and then I think if I get up tomorrow I'll be a bit tired, so I'll sleep later, but then I'm not so sure because I feel like I","and I don't want to see the pictures, I don't know if I'll like them, I'll have to ask them if they want to. I don't think they'd like them,","the words are just what came to mind ... a thought about a dream I had the other night. It was a dream of a dollhouse and a baby and I got it from the","... ... ... ... the word that comes to my mind is 'slipper' ... and the thought of a slipper... and a slipper. 'slipper ... slipper' ...","and the idea of that picture was just to see if I could put on my white hat and see it as if I was an artist, so I'm not to have any ideas about how t","this is not a thought, this is a memory... This is a thought. No, no, no! This is a memory. I can't get it out, I can't do it!","I wonder why I'm doing this?...What am I doing?...I think of a big table with four legs....I think of my hands....I wonder if my feet are doing someth","and I thought, the day before yesterday, that there was a boy and a girl on the other side of the house, and it looked as if they were having a quarre","And then I see him sitting on a chair. The chair is a chair, but I can't see where I am. I see the chair and the man sitting on the chair. He's wearin","the king said to the man in the picture, 'Tell me, where are you from?' The man answered, 'I am from the town called Bremen,' and then the man in pict","And I'm wondering, do you suppose there's any way, that when I'm reading this letter, and I'm thinking about it, or perhaps just reading it, can I jus","now the third man, now the second, now the first; they are going to come out, and the first is going to open the door. And they come out, one by one. ","and the sun is shining, and the earth is full of life, and the waters of the rivers are filled with living things...and I went back and saw the shadow","I feel the music of the whole universe. It's a sound, a very great sound. I feel it. I'm a sound, I'm a great sound. All of you are sounds,","I hear a noise; it's the sound of an engine, a great roaring of an engine. And I hear the noise of a wheel. It's like the wheel of the engine, the gre","Now, I'm going to be very funny, but I'll be very serious. And I'm going to come to you, and I'll try to do this and this and this. You've","Now, it's like a lot of light that goes through the window. That's what the sun is doing to us. It's the window that we see in the morning. The light,","it's like the song was playing and all the other things were stopping, it was like the other things had been quietened, so I could hear the song loude","and I was thinking, thinking that if I didn't know there was a piano, I could feel it and think it was something else, that it was the guitar, or the ","this is an unusual thing, not to have an answer. We are always asked the same question. And you don't know what the answer is, so you can't tell me, y","and she did and then, then, the light went out, but only for a moment and then it was back again and then she did it again and it was still light and ","and then he said to me, 'I can't go in there. I can't go there.' And then he said, 'I'm going to go back to where I came from. I","I am the tree. I am the tree... I am the fruit... I am not the fruit... Oh, you! You have made me the fruit! You have put me here with the fruit","It is the only way to feel that something is not a thought. And yet, it is the most true thought. The thing is, there are so many thoughts and it is v","and if she were dead, who would she be, and what would be the point in saying so, since she is not dead, and the dead cannot be said to exist? But if ","I thought, 'There are the words of the sages, who, as they said, were of two sorts: the first, who were contented with the knowledge of one truth, and","the face of the world was in my hand. I took the hand of the world, I took the world and it came, and I could not understand how, because the hand of ","I am thinking of the island of Java. I know there is an island called Java. I was thinking of it. I had forgotten to ask you. Was it the island of Jav","It is hard to make you understand me, when I have nothing to say. I wish I were more patient. The best I can say is: 'You shall hear, and not understa","I'm lying in my bed at night. The night is very dark and I am very alone. I am very tired. I want to sleep, but I cannot. The sky is like a great","a picture of a tree, a branch of a tree with a blue star at the end of it. I went to that branch and saw there the star; I did not know that the star ","then in the sky and on the sea the sun will appear to be white. But the moon, the stars, the sun, the sun... will be blue. There is no light there, no","and I am also a writer who is a wanderer and I have lived in many countries and cities. I have traveled to the North and South, I have passed through ","I'm not at all a man of science, nor a man of poetry, but a man who finds himself at once between those two things, in a state of uncertainty, where t","the night... the night is not long, it is not long because it is a night, and because it is long, it is a day. The night is not dark because it is not","in the world of the living the man who has the highest soul is also the most alive. He is the one who is able to live the most fully, in the midst of ","it's too bad that I've never made a real film. I want to make a film, but I don't know how to make a real film, only how to make these movies that see","and there is the green apple, the green apple, a green apple, it's an apple, and it's green, it's green in the shade. It's green in the light, it","but I see a lot of people, and I have to look out of the window because the light is too dim, and I can't see anything. And I see the light, and I thi","there is a little girl sitting on a bench on the corner of the street and she is crying. ... she is crying and the man is smiling. ... I think she is ","I'm afraid to die, but I'm not afraid to live... I think you know what I mean... I mean, I'm afraid to be killed but not afraid to die... I'm going","And, all of a sudden, I started seeing this...this is so weird, I was lying, and I was lying in bed, and I'm seeing the water in the river, and the","I'm sitting here, I can hear my heart beating, and I'm looking down, and I can see my shadow and then I can see a girl's shadow, and her shadow's a di","And I was thinking about what I should do now that I've gotten this thing into my hand. I think I should do it, you know, like, turn it around, and do","the telephone rang. I picked up. I didn't know what to say. I said, 'Hello'. 'Hello'. The voice said 'Hello'. I said 'Hello' again. I said","it's like, there are some things, you know? That's, that's like, one of them, there was one of them and, it's like you, you know, and it","[w]hile he was [crouching] in front of the door... [then he was] [sitting] on the sofa and... he... [had] a dream about","you've got to have a little bit of hope. You can't do that all the time, but if you think, you know, it's a little bit like a little bit, like a","and it's kind of like if you're watching something, and you don't really know what you're watching, but it's not totally random, but it doesn't feel l","the idea of a mirror image or something... you know like when you get out of a bath and your face is so clear and it's like a mirror and you see your ","the mind of the body. And the mind of the soul is the body of the spirit. And the spirit is the light of the mind. And the light is the spirit of the ","and then he looked and it was a green lizard in the tree, and he looked at the lizard and then he closed his eyes and then he went away and then he ha","the earth is green and the grass is green, and the trees are green and the bushes are green and the flowers are green. And they are all green, and it ","and we can see the mountains, they're blue. It's a blue day. We can see the blue of the mountains. It's blue all round us. Blue. I like blue. It","all of this is not good for your eyes. You must take it away. I can do it, I can do it. I can take it away, I can take the whole thing away.","I think my brother is very tall, and he's very fat, and he has brown eyes and black hair, and he is very quiet, and his sister is very fat, she has bl","that's a long way from the road ... I can see a road ... there is a little house by the road ... there's a small tree ... there's an apple-tree ... it","then you got a picture of an old man that's going to come into a big room and he's got on a green hat. It's a picture of a green hat with a little bit","well, it's very good, very good. The only thing is, I don't know. It's very good. It's almost as good as a film, very good, just lovely.","that's a very nice idea, isn't it? I'll put that down. It's a lovely picture, isn't that? It's just the best of everything. And it's such a","I had a dream the other night. I dreamt I was in a room and the room was like a garden. There were a lot of little plants in the garden. It was all gr","the red house by the green water. The green water was the water of the river which is between the red house and the blue house. It was a very big rive","I was going to say the first one, but then I remembered another one: 'The stone that cut the stone.' I'm not quite sure what that means. ... Well, thi","that's right... I think it was the old, old time, when the trees and the rocks had to speak to each other. I think that's how it was, or how the flowe","I will have to tell him to do his work at his own time, he is the best, he is so beautiful, he will be the greatest. His father will not be able to st","and here's a little girl that had a blue dress on, and a big red hat, and a red veil, and a white lace scarf, and little white shoes. And she had a wh","a man, I think, or a boy. A big man, a man in a tight coat, his coat was tied at the waist. I don't know, it was a very good coat","... I just have a very little piece of a thought. I can't think of the end. I'm thinking of it, and I've got it down, but I can't remember the end","the letter, 'S', that's what you said. It's a very old story, it's like an old woman. When it comes into the world, the little letter gets so many oth","I'm standing by the river... (pause, looking) ...and the sun is behind me... (pause) ...and I'm... (looks up) ...I'm thinking of you... (","but then again, I couldn't really hear anything at all. There was silence, silence all the way through. And I kept hearing a bell, like the bell I use","I see a table... with some drawers on it, and there's something on the top of the table, and it's not a drawer, it's a flowerpot, a glass flowerpot wi","I'm thinking of a pattern of letters, the word 'R U P I T'. You know, 'R' is a letter. And 'U' is a little, a tiny little U","Now I'm going to try to think about the shape of a square and tell you how it looks as a square. I'm going to draw it and then I'm going to tell you h","the 6th, 5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd and 1st ... yes, we are in the 1st and 2nd, now","The most powerful, and the most beautiful thing was when we came out and saw the red and blue sky in the sunset. I think it was like the red and the b","and then a bit like the edge of a leaf that's been cut, and the leaf is round like a circle and that's why I didn't want to look at it any longer beca","I wonder what it would be like to be inside one's own body, if one could see in from the inside and out, what the eye sees, what the ear hears, what t","And I had a very very vivid image of my father sitting on my lap and talking to me. And I'm sitting on my mother's lap and talking. And I can see the ","and I feel very happy right now...that's a happy thought...oh, I can feel the thoughts, too...there's a thought in my head...the thoughts are going up","the cloud was in a small part, the white cloud, and the part was going on, was moving, and the other part was just in the middle, and it was in the mi","what I don't know is how I can make the most of the time I have on my hands. I guess the next thing that occurs to me is to play with the idea of putt","it's really important to me. I know it's very important to me, and I've been trying to find some way to be more like it. But I can't find it. So I","the table and the chair and the candle stand. You're looking at it in my mind's eye. You can't see the candle, but you're thinking of it. It's on top ","I'm making this thing bigger. You're a good thing to think about. I see my fingers as a little person that's growing and changing. I think I'm a very ","a butterfly was flying up, and I could see the wings, but they were too far away and I couldn't make them out clearly. I saw a little thing like an ey","and then, I see the ground in front of me and I feel the ground and it seems so strange and I think that there is nothing under there, but I think tha","And here are two rabbits, here and there... here is the rabbit, here and here is the other one and there are three...and then here is a tree. There is","it's a little more complicated than that. For example, if you look at this way, it's a lot like this. But if you look it the other way, it would look ","oh! The figure of the infinite! The figure which is contained in the figure which contains it! This figure which contains itself contains an infinity ","the brain is the repository of our experience. The experience of all of us is stored in the brain as patterns of neural connections. ... A thought is ","a big wave of water is flowing from the left side. It flows out of the bottom of the sea, the top of the sea is open, and the sea is filled with light","The second [pupil] is the same size as the first, but in a different direction, and is related to the first by a 90 degree angle. But the third is the","... ... ... ... I am a man of the air. I can fly. I can make a sound. The sound is the wing of the bird. The wing is the sound. I can feel","and that the new pattern that is created in the first example is a consequence of the old pattern that is in the second example and that in that way t","I'm going to change my mind. It's a bad idea. I can see a hole in the paper and there's a hole in my paper. The hole is not there. I've got","I look at the sky and I look at the clouds, and I say to myself, 'Look, there is a cloud, and there is another cloud, and they are approaching each ot","I'm an observer and I'm watching a man, and that man is a tree. It's as if he were a man in a tree and the tree were a man. I'm looking at","The most simple of all possible universes is a point which is moving and can therefore be seen to be rotating and hence have an axis of rotation. The ","a strange man is seen. He is in the darkness, and has a strange expression. He is an old man, and he looks like the devil. He is seen as if he had no ","I can't say why but it's more real than this. It's more than just a picture. It's not just a picture, but it's not a picture either. It's something di","I don't understand. How can I go back and forward. I can't understand it. I know that the language is, uh, the language is a way to express some thing","I could go to the University of Heidelberg to be a mathematician, and I could get a position at the University of Bologna. Now, how can I go to Heidel","the difference between the first and the second is that the first is not a function of the second, but the second is a function of the first. The firs","and here I am trying to express to myself, that if this is the case, then this is not the case. I don't see how to get any further. I am not sure whet","and then the following two dimensions: the first one is the distance of the points from the origin and the second one is the angle between the vectors","one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I see, I see one, I see two, I see three, I see four, I see five","it's been a long time since I was here. But the room seems familiar, it feels comfortable, I know it. I must have come here before. I wonder where I'v","and in the last five minutes we've had no thought whatsoever, no thought. In the last five or six minutes, in fact, it's been a great deal of noise. S","I think that you should try to think about what you want to do when you think. It is a very nice thing that I have here. But I have no idea why it is ","and I got it! Now you're in trouble, aren't you, and I'm not going to stop you, but you'll go wrong. I've got to go on, but it's","and then I think about a horse... then the horse is flying through the air ... then there is a door that opens ... then the door opens and the horse g","I will take this thing, and I will throw it into the air, and catch it, and I will play with it in the air, I will do the same thing with the other. I","I am trying to think of a new way of talking about something. I think I've been successful. But what is it? ... Now I think of a circle with a hole in","the moon, the stars, the sun, the light of the sun. The light of the star is red. The moon is red. the light of stars is white, and the light of the","1967. It was a cold, wet night. We were in the tunnel in the basement of the old Bldg 393 (the building with the old doors and","the three times a week, a hundred and sixty pounds a day, the light of the sun, and the four times a day, a hundred thousand tons of sand, the sea, th","the yellow sun, the yellow sun... the yellow sun. It was always there, but never in the same place. Sometimes in the centre of the screen, sometimes o","we were going to make it ... I had a thought that it was a little bit like the time we were in the airplane in the airport in San Francisco and ... yo","and we are looking for a place for these men, these white men, and I think they are just about to go into a very very black country and we have a litt","The other thing I was wondering, which is I know I've been wondering, was that, I was wondering how would the world look if it was like a great big ic","there were two little boys. And there were two big men who were watching them. And one of them had a red beard. And he was trying to make a ladder tha","and so you are walking in the woods and you have a little stream running along beside the trail, and a tree has dropped a dead leaf, and it is floatin","and he said, 'If thou wilt be perfect, go, sell all that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shall have treasure in heaven: and come and follow ","I am in a tree. It is a tree. And I am in the tree. I am in a cage, and I am in my cage, and my cage is a cage. I am","and I see a fish in the river, it's a trout and it's a brown trout, and he's got a lot of wrinkles and little hairs. And I see a small fish in the","And it's an old building. And when they went to move the building they dug down in the ground and found the ruins of a city and they brought the ruins","And I was looking at the sea of gold, and the sky is all blue and white, and the mountains are all white, and I saw a little child standing on the edg","a lot of little things that are happening around here. This is a place where there's no clouds. It's the last place in the world where there are no cl","and the rain is coming down on the field and the wind is blowing and there's a little stream and the little stream is going down and the wind is movin","a big red light. I think it's the sun. The light's coming down here from the sun, and it's reflecting in all the little lights in the water. It's gett","what are we doing here? We're just talking. I don't understand what's going on. I'm wondering, is there another kind of thinking going on here? There ","it's funny you say that, the way you think is the way you move. You think about the sun and the wind. The sun is yellow and the wind is green. Then th","a word ... a word. ... a word ... and ... a word again ... a word and ... a ... word ... a ... a ... and ... and ... another ... and ... words ... and","the future, which is in our hands, which is to say, in the hands of the present. And the present is to say that the present, which is now, is that, it","there was a time in the history of the Universe, or maybe in the Universe itself, when everything was liquid and this liquid was pure intelligence or ","the past, which is always there, the future, which is not yet here, and the present, which is an infinite number of moments, which are the only true r","The world is in an interpenetration of time and space. And this interpenetration is the primary feature of the world. We cannot see the world as if it","now I'm thinking that I am thinking, and that I am my thinking. Is this an illusion? Is this a part of reality? If I say I am thinking and I think, th","I would like to talk about the experience of seeing the world. The world is the universe, and the universe is my experience, the space of experience. ","what I did here was to say that this is the way in which one could define a function of a given order. This function, in order to be determined, must ","a woman's head. In the middle of the head there is a place which is always the same. And in this place, there is an image, of an empty, white, almost ","Now I am a tree, a tree growing, the tree growing from the ground, I am the ground, the soil, the ground, from which the tree grows, growing from the ","I think that the universe has to be infinite. I can't think of a reason why it should be finite. The reason why the universe is infinite is that we ca","a kind of half-wakeful state, where one is in some way aware of being alive, yet at the same time aware that one has no awareness of being alive. It i","a big idea, a big thought, an idea of the universe, the universe as it is, the universe in the process of being. ... the universe in the act of being ","this is not a concept. This is a concrete phenomenon, a very concrete phenomenon, which is an extension of the idea of mind in itself. It is not a par","this is the most important thing I have to say in the world, it is the beginning of a great discovery of the self. This is the self that is a bridge b","I'm a man of action. I can't help myself. I can no more stay still than I can walk backwards or stand upside down. This is a problem. I'm not a man of","and when I was born I was very beautiful, my skin was like a flower. And then I became a butterfly, and I was a beautiful butterfly. And then a lot of","And we saw that we had to get together the many different kinds of thoughts in a common unit, as if we were writing with a pencil and erasing it when ","I have a feeling that I am looking at things, and I am thinking, and I have the feeling that I don't really look at things, that I am just a little bi","I had this dream which I would like to remember. I was in my living room with a friend who I have never seen before. I was trying to recall who she wa","I remember that once there was a man who had a very hard time when he was trying to explain his dream, and he said, 'I was lying in my bed when I sudd","it's not a memory. It's just a present. The whole time that I'm living it's not an objective reality, it's something that has to be constructed. When ","(the) right hand, a lot of people have their left hand dominant for the left hand, so maybe it has something to do with the brain. For example, we can","I can see the world as it is in three dimensions. But I can only see the surface of the object. I can see through the object. The object has a form, a","I am going to have some ideas, and I will see that they are true, I will see if they are real or unreal. The ideas will come into my field of vision, ","I'm a poet; I'm a poet who writes poetry, and I'm a reader who reads poetry. I am a poet, and a reader of poetry, and a poet who has made it"],["I could always be going out, but I always like to read, even if I'm out of the house... I'm not going to take my book with me, but I'm going to read","it's a little bit like being in an airplane, that it's so far from you. That's the other thing with the airplane, that you don't hear anything, and it","I can't help thinking about all the things that happened before I was born. If I didn't know about any of that, then I would never have been born. I w","And that's the thing. I'm not even sure that that's the case. I mean, it's probably the case, but I'm not sure. I think that there's something that's","I'm trying to think of things to write in the journal, but I don't have anything right now. I'm going to be going to the library tomorrow, but I can't","I think you can think of it like this: you get a problem, it's a problem, and you know it's a big problem because you know the implications and conseq","and that's all they [the police] knew, that there was no evidence, and they had to charge him anyway, so it would have to be done. He [the lawyer] cou","I have no idea if you're a genius or not, and I don't know why you don't tell me that you're a criminal. I'm not interested in finding out why you're ","I have an idea of a nice new way to write a book. I will start with a series of images. Then I will build a whole series of images around those initia","I just saw my mother and sister again. It was nice. But my father was there too. So that made it difficult. It's just that there was a kind of an agre","[t]he thing that I have most enjoyed in the past, I would say, has been the [new] method of thinking in terms of concepts and generalizations, and not","the first thing that comes to mind is this: is there a fundamental principle of the human mind? A basic principle in the nature of mind that governs t","I don't know if it would be right to call it a theory. The word theory is something that is arrived at through the work of many people, and if you con","and, then, you know, that's a certain level of what you can't do without, in order to survive, you have to go through all sorts of things that are in ","the first thing that came to my mind was the way in which one of the mathematicians had explained to me that when he has to do something he has to, at","but then, of course, what we are trying to do is to reach a certain kind of goal and the goal may be very distant from this initial state of the probl","there were two things that I couldn't quite understand. First was the fact that I was so interested in the first book and I didn't understand what was","a second thought occurs. One could say that this second thought has a certain priority, for it is the one that we are making the most of at the moment","and now I want to give myself a task of memory: I want to recall and express the very first thought, the first memory of my life. I would like to reme","I am now at home, and I am thinking of what has happened during the day. I am thinking about a woman I knew from my youth, but who now is in a very di","I can think about how I have always been, and how I have now become, and how now I am not the same as I was before. This is a very interesting and use","I am writing an essay on 'the mind of the mathematician' which has an empirical basis. What are the differences in the way mathematicians work as comp","a number of years ago I wrote a paper that was based on some empirical results that we had gotten on a particular subject. At the time we had very goo","So, in a way, when I talk, I do this by writing. When I say 'I think', it is because I am thinking. But to think, that means to think a thought","and I see the function of this study is to get some data on the spontaneous nature of the thoughts and the way in which they are expressed. So I see t","if you take a look at the statistics, and I'll talk about statistics a little bit later, I think you'll find that this is a very, very conservative es","the little black box at the top of the screen, which is used as a kind of control knob, is actually a special kind of frequency controller which we ca","there's another problem of course that's one of the things that we're working on is that one of the problems is that we have to look at a system which","I don't understand the 't' here. We're not talking about the time of the state. I can't say what this means. It seems to have no relation to the state","oh yeah. Right. I'm going to have to think about what I'm going to do about the end of this course. Because I don't see that there's much I can do abo","so I have an idea of how this could look. I've got a very, very small scale in my mind, and I want to map what's going to happen. ... I don't know","So, then, I had to come up with some new ideas, so I started doing some sort of calculations and then I was able to come up with the idea of using the","this is the solution. That's a new point. So it's a new strategy. A new strategy in the sense of the new solution. Now there are many possibilities to","there is something about the problem of the moon landing that's hard to understand. There were no instruments on the moon and there was no data coming","I have two groups, one with two items, the other with four. Each group has its own probability for the item. So in the second group I have a, b, c and","you can't say, 'This is the definition of a tree'. You can't say 'This is a tree' or 'This is not a tree', because it's not clear which one of","this is an interesting problem... let's go to the second-order representation and see how it is organized... we'll see that this second-order represen","I think I will try the same thing with the other word. It's going to be very similar because it's the same sort of thing. The only thing is I've got a","I can see that I'm looking at the screen, I'm seeing a square in the middle of a big black box. Now it's the black box that I'm going to think about. ","there was a moment in a lecture I had at the beginning of the year where there was an idea that I was very confused about. I think I got it right, I t","a piece of wood, a piece of wood. A piece of wood and then you go through some other processing and you come to a point where it is no longer a piece ","I've had this feeling in my head for a long time, where it's not like there's anything going on in the middle of it, it's like I'm watching myself thi","I'm wondering why the one thing that's on my mind and that I'm so sure of, how come it's so hard to make it happen in practice? Like I can see the str","this is a thought that's been going on in my mind. It's been a question that I've had for a while, which is the question: if I'm looking at this, a li","I have an image of my friend that has been with me for a long time. This image is of her hands and the fact that her hands are warm. ... The image tha","I remember, I'm looking for something, I don't know if this is the right way. It's the right way, but I don't understand why, so it's not, but I","that was what I wanted to say, but then I got distracted. That was what I meant to say, it's kind of what I want to say. It's like, I'm thinking about","it's been a couple of days since I started thinking about this... I guess I could just start here... and I guess I'm going to... and I think what I'm ","it's kind of a mind map. ...I don't know if that's actually helpful... I think I could actually build something more specific to what I want to build,","I think I am here to sort of analyze myself in some sort of way and, you know, maybe I think I'm not very good at it. But I think I have the ability, ","you can't have a good life in a society where everybody is competing against everybody else, and we're all getting into trouble. It's not really healt","I'm thinking about the last time I saw my mother. I saw her yesterday morning, we had a nice talk, and I was thinking, 'Oh, it's really good to talk t","I know what that means... it means to have something in common with... I think it's something that has a meaning, which I do know, that's why I'm here","I am a good mother; I have good thoughts for my son, good things for my son and so, I'm a good mother. I'm a very good mother. So, my son is","I have always felt the need to write, because writing is the best way to express the reality of my life. When I write I feel connected to my deepest s","I can be with a certain person, and at that moment I'm experiencing what I can call love. I can be a witness of it and a participant in it, but I can ","I'm in a car that's traveling through the universe. I'm in the driver's seat. I don't know what it is, but I think it's the car of consciousness. I fe","I've always thought that a human being is like a machine: I think I can learn to build machines. I'm also able to learn to build myself: that's why I ","and I wonder whether what's happening in my head is in some way the same as what happens to the brain in the unconscious. In other words, I wonder if ","I feel like I'm in a movie, you know. I am the director. I'm watching myself and other people, and I'm controlling what is being projected on the scre","this is a little bit of a problem, is it? I'm a little bit skeptical of this. I'm a little worried. I think this is a bit of a trick. But then I","[I'm] not a very visual person. I can see the world and I can see how things are connected, and I can also see how things aren't connected. But I don'","my mind is constantly on this topic of the spiritual nature. And in relation to that, I can't think without the sensation of myself as a physical body","this is where I can say that we have the problem. It's not that I don't know how to solve this problem. The problem is that I don't have a solution fo","now we've got this object which we're seeing, but we're not seeing it. It is something which we're looking at and experiencing. And it's not only expe","I see that I am a point in space. I'm not a material object, I'm not matter, I'm a point. I can't define a point. If I do that I will","and you want to feel this tension, not a conscious tension, you want to get used to the fact that you can feel this tension and that you can experienc","a man. He's not a man. It's a man who is. The man is not a man; it's just a man. The man who is is not a person. It's","I've been in a state of rest for so many days, of complete silence, no sensation, no perception, no feeling, no awareness. I've been in this state of ","all the way from the back of the head to the front of the brain. So when a person is concentrating, in meditation, in sleep, in dreaming, it seems lik","I see something, like the moon or a star, but in front of me. There is nothing else; I just see this point. I'm aware of the feeling of seeing. Then I","we are not in a world of sense, we are not in space, time and the world of our senses. We are in a world that is a world of mind. It is an inner world","now I am listening to the music again, I am hearing this music that has been playing in my mind all along. Now it's coming out. It's coming out and it","I'm in the forest. I'm going to go deeper into the forest. There's a river in the forest, and I'm in a boat on the river. There are clouds floating on","The fact that we can create a situation where nothing is blocked to the brain, and nothing is blocked out of the brain, that we can do this. I cannot ","so we can see this as a path. It can be a path leading to a destination and the path can be like a stream, which we can understand as a sequence of st","I just finished the previous one, and the next one I'm trying to get a picture of, I don't know what it is, it's this feeling of, I want to be at peac","the light has changed from white to yellow. Yellow. ... a red dot at the edge. A red dot, yellow dot. A red light, yellow light. I see the light chang","my body is in motion, my body is moving ... a body is moving, it's moving through space ... this is the beginning of the first wave of light. It is ex","I'm like a little boy, I have a lot of thoughts, and I can't do anything. I can't take any actions. I'm like a mind, just a lot of thought.","you know, like I'm looking at the big picture. The whole picture of being a human being in this universe. There's no words or concepts to describe it.","and you're the one who is trying to see into the world of the others and you're seeing that everything is pure and perfect and it's like a clear blue ","I have this notion that this is a game of the mind, but I don't know how to play this game, and so I have no real experience. So that is one aspect of","I can't stand it when a word or phrase seems to me to be incomplete, which means that I am always trying to understand that phrase, word, whatever it ","The world is composed of elements, the elements are composed of more elements, and the elements are, at bottom, units of perception, which in turn are","what I've found interesting is that, in my mind, time and space are not really a thing; they are not really existents. There's no such thing as space ","[I]t's the other way around, [I]t is that my ego is a part of me and the ego is a creator. It creates me and I am the product of the","the only thing that I'm sure of is that I'm a product of the past, and that I will always be a product of my past, and it's that I'm not sure how to","[a]s we live in time, we live in a present. We don't live in the past because there's no past for us; and we don't live in a future. We","what would I be if I had to create my own religion? Well, I guess that I would probably be a religion. That would be very interesting, because, if we'","the more and more I reflect on that and look at the situation, the more it becomes obvious that there is nothing, really nothing, to think about. All ","I'm a part of the world. The world is a part of me. There is an inseparability, an inseparabilty between me and the world. But the world is also made","and I think there's a reason that people do this. That's the first time that I think of that. You know, this is the first time, I think, I can make se","I am not sure that I am in here in this room, that is what I am feeling, that I am just in a body. I am not sure I am really in this body. I","this is my body...and this is my heart...and this is the part of my brain that is associated with consciousness and consciousness is associated with t","the idea that there is nothing in the world that is not in the world of consciousness. This is the idea of the interconnectedness of all things in the","we are all in one world, and we're all on our way. Everything is in movement. It's like we are living in a stream. The stream of life. Everything in i","The idea that the Universe has a mathematical structure...the fact that we have a mathematical structure, we have a language structure...is a natural ","Now, I can't really understand what the point of that is. I'm not really aware that it has to do with anything. It's just that it's an interesting thi","I'm saying this right now. There are 31,557,600 seconds in a year, which is also 3.15576E+7.","I see some very good words, which I will see in a little while, which will be in the sense that I will have the word, but not in the sense I am in. I ","it's as if I had to write down all the things that were in my mind. It is as if I needed a paper and a pencil. Now I think about it, it is as if","I am trying to see what is in my brain right now, what my brain is thinking about. The first thing I thought of was the fact that I am right now. I am","I'm wondering whether you were right to say what you did, that we are not really in control of our bodies in the normal sense. But we seem to be in co","you can be here, you can be there, you can exist anywhere. If you do not choose to be here, there is nothing to prevent you from being in this room ri","I am lying on my back and looking up at the sky. It is dark. I don't see any stars or other objects. There is only pure sky. In the background I can s","I have a feeling, I'm not going anywhere, and yet I'm going somewhere. And the only way I can explain that is that I can see where I'm going. It's as ","the word is: 'truth'. What is truth? What is truth for me? For me it is the way things are, it is the order of things. It is the way I see the","you know, I'm in this house and I'm walking around the room and I'm in the room and it's like I'm walking down the hall in the room, and the room is l","and in the morning they'll wake up and be able to see the sun. I was saying the other day: the sun is a prism that has cut light into rays, and those ","that's what you see. That's why, because the color of a tree is the color of the sky. And the sky is a tree. It's one thing that's happening at the sa","I know that I am not here on this earth, that I am a wave of pure consciousness, a thought. I know that my body, my mind, and my emotions, my consciou","I have a new idea. I was just thinking of the relationship between the brain and the body as a whole. So the brain is just a part of the body and the ","there's a question and answer session going on and they're not understanding each other because they're trying to give answers, and it's like in a che","I'm sitting in this chair... I'm going to get up and I'm going to move, I'm going to stretch my whole body, and I'm... and I'm probably going to do","[I]n the last second before death I was in the process of giving birth, and I was doing a bit of breathing, like I was doing at the moment. I was in a","it's a long way to the beginning ... there's a very long way to the end. You have a feeling of movement and you move towards your end, your end is the","and then I've just come to this question about the question of what is the purpose of life. The purpose of life, you might say, is to know the purpose","I think that that's a kind of what I was talking about in the beginning, you know, that kind of conceptual thought, and I think that in some ways that","now that I have this task before me, which is to write a description of the scene of a scientific laboratory, I can use all of these, but I've got to ","I can say it now. I'll try to write it now. Maybe it will be a little more coherent when I write it down than it is when I'm saying it out loud. ... A","there was a point of view that is very important, and I'm going to try and describe that to you. There is a point of view in which there's a thing, an","I'm imagining, it's a lot of work, it's not what I usually do. I have to think of an example and it's going to take a lot of time to do it,","and then I realized I'd have to find a new way of getting from here to there, which means I have to look at the map differently, so I think of the map","I want to make a new question for you: What does it mean for a person to be a person? What does it mean to be a conscious entity? What does consciousn","I think it's important that we work together to develop a unified theory of thought and consciousness that is general enough to apply to all forms of ","the first thing I noticed in this study of this question is the amount of time we spent in the first few minutes on the first question. So there's a c","we are having the idea that we are doing a sort of a study on thinking. That's the subject. That's what we are studying, our own thinking, and this is","And this is the subject, right? And there's something very interesting about this, I think. I have a question that comes up, it's a question that is a","and we have to think in terms of the future, and so we need to look at the past and make some sort of connection to the future and I suppose that is w","And I don't know what it is that I'm trying to say or do right now, so I'll just say I have no idea, but it's the same problem, because I don't","And I am seeing that these people who are on the far end of this spectrum, the extreme people, are the ones who have the most difficulty in making the","I'm going to the airport. I have an appointment there. I'm going out, and I have to take some luggage. I need to find a hotel for the next 4 days. I","what we think about we're going to get. Now, so if I'm a person who is concerned about health, and I'm in the hospital and I'm very ill, and I have a","the problem is that I'm going to be in front of a large audience and there will be people who have a very high expectation for me, a very high opinion","[T]he world is made up of patterns and I'm not really sure I understand what that means. So it seems like it has to be in some sort of pattern, but th","there's no such thing as time. And, therefore, we shouldn't think of time in terms of a clock, in terms of what it says. It's very interesting because","the truth is that I just don't know what to say about it. It's all just a mystery. I can only give my feelings about it. I can't really say anything e","I just don't want to be stuck in a body that I'm not. I'm not a body; I'm a field of consciousness. I can't even say that I am a soul or","this is what I know, if this is how you think. But then it doesn't make any sense at all, because it's not a process of thinking, it's just this thing","and I just had a thought. And it's funny, this is not really a question or statement, it's just an idea. And it occurred to me that, when we say that ","I am looking at a little girl in a toy box. I am thinking about how I would have liked to play as a little girl, in a toy-box, in a dollhouse, in an","And I'm wondering, what would it take for you to decide that a particular thing in your life was an experience that was just plain 'wrong' and that it","there was a woman who was a sort of a priestess. She was an oracle and her task was to convey messages. And she would say that there are two ways to u","we're going to have an issue with the way that we do research in our field because what we're doing is we're just kind of pushing and pulling at the e","you've got to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. If you take it seriously, you're going to be depressed, you're going to think you're not ma","what I would like to know is: does the brain, does the physical brain, does it create the thought? Or is the thought, is the information coming from a","this is a very good example of the thing that we need to understand, in order to understand the brain, the real brain, which is the conscious brain. T","I'm thinking, I'm just sitting here and I'm thinking about the nature of this thinking process. You know, I'm thinking and I'm just thinking about thi","my mother always wanted me to be a computer scientist. It's an area she's interested in. I can't understand that it's the only thing that is worth doi","there is a reason that the brain is so big. It is a problem solver, it is a problem generator, it is the thing that is the most important part of your","this is just a brain wave of an activity. It's a brain wave which we've known for a while that exists, and we call it the alpha wave. It's an activity","this is very interesting, it is the very first time that I am aware of what is called the quantum mechanics and I am aware that this is the very thing","the process is really more or less like a very abstract process that is really what's going on in your head. So that's really what's happening. ... An","I'm going to start out with an example. I'm going to describe what I think. And you can decide what I think, whether or not it's appropriate and wheth","and it was just this sort of thinking. So it's like it's the brain's way of trying to make sense of the world, to get information about the world, and","I'm working on this problem: what's the difference between what I see and what I think? ... What I see and think are two different things. Now, how do","it's a fact, it's a hypothesis. It's a fact that the whole world is going to be the same because the same fundamental forces are going to govern it. I","and there's nothing to do here, the universe is just a place that has been chosen by some form of intelligence or by some form or intelligence to be a","and then I remembered I was once in a situation where I was in a state of complete inattention, in a state where I had no attention, but then the atte","I'm making this call. And I have to say that I don't know where I am. I can feel my body in space, but I don't have any sense of being a body.","I want to get on the other side of the window, if I have the opportunity to get out of this room, I have the ability to do it, because I'm not going t","the moment is present, the present moment is a mystery. It's like, you can't touch the present moment. You can't grasp the present moment, so you can'","I have to know the exact meaning of words, which are not precise, in order to have a good understanding of the language. The words have meaning in rel","I've been reading about the Chinese, and in a sense, the Chinese are more of a science than the West, and in that they are more scientific, which is t","I have this weird thought that, you know, the world is very much like a dream, like a simulation, and it's all, like, just a dream. But it is more rea","I've been trying to think what to say, but I'm not thinking the same thing now as I thought 15 minutes ago, or even now as I said it in the middle of ","... it's a thought that can't be denied, I mean, that I can't deny ... what is the nature of what I call my self. And there's a part of me that doesn","and when I have a strong thought that arises spontaneously, it doesn't have to be analyzed. If I can accept the fact that it is a thought, a mental ev","I was having a very good day. I was thinking about how everything is connected and I was feeling a sense of connectedness and openness. I was having t","[The mind] is always the mind of the thinker, and not the thinker in itself. The thinking mind is a part of the whole being. We are the whole being an","a good part of the content of consciousness, that we could have to do with, and the whole of our self-awareness, is a constant flow of states, which c","what I don't want to say is that I want to say what I want to say. There is an expression: the cat is two faced. And what it means is that the cat can","I'm going to do a couple of things with this thought. One is, I'll try to find out what's going on with this thought, by seeing if it can be made more","I don't think it's really true, the thing I just said. But that's what I feel, that it's true. That's how I feel. ... The truth is more difficult to","and I feel like that, too. You can't just feel your way out of it. You have to put your hands out and try. And if you fail, you don't just say '","the same as a little before, I'm still wondering whether I could not do it another way. The problem is, the little I could see in my mind is so diffic","you know, I am always thinking. I am always looking, always seeing, and I am always seeing things that I cannot understand. For instance, I look at a ","I'll take care of things if it's not so bad, if it doesn't require any work. If it's not too serious, I'll take the time to see it for what it is","there is the story of the Indian who is very fond of a woman and, as he sees her walking, he thinks of her and his heart is touched by the beauty of h","I have a strange feeling that I have to do something. It doesn't have to be anything, just anything, because I feel that this feeling that is inside m","The more you say it, the more it becomes part of the language, part of the thought of language. It becomes real, as it were, in the way it becomes rea","it is a way to come closer to the unconscious, and thus to make conscious the unconscious. To make conscious the unknown, to make conscious what we ha","Now, the moon is getting smaller and the light is dimmer, and the darkness is getting more intense and deeper and more infinite and more real and more","you've got the key to the door and it's a very nice key because it is in your hand, so you can use it whenever you want, whenever it's convenient to y","this is a very important moment in human evolution. And we are now on the point of making a great discovery. It is not a discovery by some great think","I was thinking, in fact, that the idea of consciousness is an illusion, and that the thing we call 'consciousness' is just the sum of a number of sepa","the idea of this planet being a holographic projection of a computer simulation that is being run by an entity, or entities, that we have no way of un","it was the image of a white light coming out of the darkness. It was coming to me from the back, the back of my head, the back behind my eyes, the bac","It's all a matter of concentration, isn't it, to a certain extent? It's like being in a tunnel, isn't it? There's only one way you can move through th","the clouds are flying in my mind. I have seen them on the way up. I see the clouds floating by my face, the clouds are in my mind, they are moving. I ","the sense of the infinite, the infinity of the universe, and the sense of being a part of this universe, being part of this vast continuum, part of th","now that the 3rd dimension is opened, there are three points of intersection of the 2nd and 3rd dimensions. It is an intersection point, and it is a p","a long way off in space, a city is burning, and all that remains is the gray dust of the city's walls, which is covered in a red layer of a kind of fl","I think... I think that I am standing in a large, black room... a vast black room... with walls that are very smooth, but not hard, or solid. I am sta","then the three women. They all had their heads back, looking into the sky, and each was holding something in their hand. They were standing at the cen","I can hear this thing, it's not a voice, it's a vibration. It's like a wind blowing in a flute. It's not a sound. It's the wind in a flute","I'm going to be late. I have to catch my bus. My bus, oh, no, my bus, I'm going to miss it, I have to move, I have to hurry","the room was empty, except for a figure of light that moved like a living thing. The room was too big to hold it. I tried to close my eyes. I was too ","and I would like to live here with a little bit of money. And I would like it to be very quiet and dark. And it would be beautiful here. But not like ","and you know how I could just have said, you know, 'I'm going to change, I'm going to be the one to change this and it will be a new thing, but I","and that is what I'm feeling right now. It is this feeling. I'm going to try to hold it in my mind so it stays here, that's all, that is all. The","what would happen if I suddenly appeared as a transparent entity in the sky? What if I just hovered there in space, without any body, and what would I","... ... a man has the body of a dog... and he has the dog's legs and a head and arms and a neck. I could see him through this world. A world of sound ","I have a big idea, it's big. I feel it, it's like a big piece of marble. I know what I am going to do now, it's a very clear, bright","and now I see it, but it doesn't happen as I think it does. It's very strange, the mind and what it does. I'm seeing things, like I'm seeing the way","and it's all right. This is what's right... this is right, but I can't think it. It's too much to think... it's not to be thought. It is too","it is like a machine or something, a huge machine, which has to do this in order to exist. There are many kinds of machines. This one is very large, v","It's like the smell of the sun, but with more intensity, as if the sun were burning with a light. It's the smell of life, it's the smell of consciousn","I am in this space. I am a bird. I am in a space. There is a space in which I am. The space has no form, no colour, no substance. I am","I don't want to see my mother. I don't want my mother to come to me. I don't wish to see her. I wish to avoid her, like a bird avoiding a net","I am here. I am here, I am here: that is my state. I am in a state, that is the truth. I am a state and a state is a thing. I","now the thing is, that I am going to do everything. I have no free time, no time at all. The other person is a person who is going to do what he wants","it's not the same with you, as the same with me: it's a bit like the way you think. That's a sort of thought: the way that you think. And it is","this is an impressionistic description of a state in which everything is in the present moment, in the present space, the present time, in the present","the 4th day is coming... the 5th is approaching... and so on and so forth... we will go on till the 9th day which will be the final day of the","that's it, that's the problem, isn't it, that the mind is always thinking, always, always thinking. If you can find something to think, you are thinki","it's a moment of wonder. It's the moment of being aware of what is there, and being aware of your awareness, and the awareness of the awareness of bei","I feel like a child. I feel like a woman who is not a woman at all, and who has no woman's right to know that she is a woman, and that she is aware of","and I was just looking at the stars and thinking, that's the beginning of the night. I was thinking that and then I suddenly thought, I think I am goi","this is a little girl's hand, and this is the little girl, who is the same little girl, and is also the same little girl who was my mother, and this c","and I was sitting in the darkness with my head in the middle of a star and I saw a very beautiful woman with a white gown that was so beautiful that I","in that moment of intense awareness, it was as if all the threads of my existence were bound together, and there was a light that was so beautiful and","And the Universe itself, the entire cosmos, is not bound by time or space, it is a kind of timeless space in which all possibilities are created and d","I can feel myself, in my own body, in this place. And I can feel my own body moving through the air. I'm looking at a landscape. And I am experiencing","I'm not sure if the sun will be at that angle today, or what I will be like. I don't think I'll be a woman in the future. I think I'll always be","I'm making a memory, and then I'm not making a memory. I am remembering a memory, but not making a new memory. And the new memory I am making is the m","my mind was working on a lot of things and it was kind of like it was a tunnel or a shaft in the ground and I was at one end and I was looking at anot","I have a thought about a time in my life when I was completely lost and I was not able to get up. I was in a place that had been painted black. It was","this is all an illusion. ... This is an illusion, but the illusion is a reflection of reality, of the real essence of being and all things. This is th","I'm looking at a figure of a man, I see him, I see the inside of his head, I see his brain, I see a tiny man inside the brain. And then I see","a series of images of an environment, and one of those images is the human form. I wonder if this is because of the fact that human beings, human life","the colorless things that pass into being within our imagination, things which, once formed, are always the same, and whose variations are due only to","[W]e find ourselves in the midst of a sea of all the past, a sea of thoughts that we never get rid of. ... The thoughts, that are now at the present, ","and suddenly, suddenly the sound of the voices became much clearer to me; suddenly it became much easier to hear the voices of other beings, who were ","you can't choose between what you have and what you don't have. What you have is a function of what you don't. And what you don't has a function of wh","the most profound truth of all is that we do not exist, that we do not even exist in the universe, we do not have any existence of our own, and everyt","And in that state, and in that condition of selflessness, there was no need to remember the past and to look toward the future. There was no need of b","and then there is the other one, where I was just born. And I had no idea where I came from. But now, when I was born, I suddenly understood that I wa","And so I see the sun rising and I see the moon in the same place, in the same form, but it's a different moment. But still I see it. And so it seems t","The time is very long; the time is very short. We are here now in the very small of the time, in the very great time. The great time is very small in ","in a way, what I'm doing is I'm just feeling like I'm going to have a thought that will be very good to think about, and I'll think about it and it wi","This is like the feeling of being in space, but I am in the middle of it. It is an empty feeling, and yet there is no empty feeling. It is just a feel","I was walking down this long winding path and the world was beginning to get more and more abstract. It was all pure light and color. And then I had a","I wonder if this is really what I want. I wonder if I want this to be like what I'm experiencing right now. But then I notice that I don't want what I","I'm doing my best to get into an altered state, to get out of myself... I am going to start to speak the language of the universe... and as I'm going ","There's a whole spectrum of feelings. The more the consciousness gets involved, the more you're aware of it. You're aware that you have an awareness. ","it's going to be a long time before I will get that clarity to see my own way of life. I am not a simple organism that is only made up of my body. I a","and what's that? What are these objects? Is it these things that have the names that I know, that have the memories, that have these things, the words","the center of the heart. ... I think there must be a center of the heart, because the heart is so intelligent. That's why I'm here. I'm here to find t","there's a story of the great wisdom. And one of the forms in which the wisdom of this story, the story of the wisdom, is expressed is through the noti","I am the master of time. I know its laws, I control its motion and direction. I have the power to control my mind and the minds of all my creations. M","and then I remembered this other book, the story of the first man to get the whole of India, in a single book, and to take the entire universe with it","Now we are going to pass, with an all of the words, to the innermost depths of my heart. I am going to get closer and closer, and closer, to my deepes","the consciousness, that is, the state of being conscious. Now consciousness is one, but it has different manifestations. It is a state of being, which","I could give you this [mental image] and you would understand what it means, you would be able to understand it. But it would be a totally new form of","you are here in the room, but you are not. You are not in the room. You are outside the room. Outside the room, you are outside the body. Outside the ","my mind is wandering, but the mind is not wandering. The mind is not here; the mind is the here, the there, the now. The mind has no form; it is only ","and so, you have a sense of where you are in this moment of time, of what the 'now' is, of the sense of your being. The 'now' has a quality of","I don't have to say that in order to know what I'm saying; I don't have to think that in order to think what I think. I don't have anything to say or ","I am reading a book on the mind, or I think I am reading. Or I'm making it up. The book is about the mind, but I don't know how I'm reading it","the ideas of a man are like a fire, which in the darkness of night burns alone, and only the voice of the man himself can tell you whether the fire is","you see it, you don't see it. That's a problem. You can't see it, because it is beyond what you call a material thing. So, I want to see it and","a tree in the forest. There is no sound. It is not a question of an empty sound. There is a question of sound. It appears that a sound is not a sound.","I remember my mother saying: 'There is nothing to see, I cannot see. And you think that you can see because of a sense of your body.' My mother was tr","then I feel something like this. ... The one who thinks does not think about the subject, but rather thinks about itself, itself as such, its existenc","The sun shines, the clouds go away. The earth is an ocean, a sky, a rainbow. All things are part of a single thing. This single thing, this ocean is t","I've been in this chair for so long now, I can't tell where I am. I've been in the chair for so, so many hours. There are so many different things pas","a thought occurs to me: if there is a thought and there is an image of a thought, then there is a form for the thought to have, and for the image of a","infinite space, I think... in space. The space I occupy in is, and the space which I am in, and which is in me, and the space in which I am not and","there's no time. The clock runs without reference to your consciousness. You're not in time. You are in time but the clock isn't. So when you say ther","... it's always a pleasure for me to think in words and I wonder what it's like to think in images and I don't think I can quite think in images; I'm ","in this room there is something that is moving around ... it is the life that is here. We are not able to see it because we are not able, or because w","And I'm going to be doing that thing that's going to be coming in the future, in a new reality, and that's going to bring up some aspects of the past,","I am here. I am here as an observer. I am also here as a part of this moment, as an integral part of it, and it's just a simple fact of the way I","now I know you are not. I have been there. I know you and I know you as you are now. I know that. I am not you. I am in this moment with you","the darkness, it's a sensation of being. It's a sensation. It's an entity. And in the darkness, there's a sensation, a sensation of sensation, of bein","the woman has just passed through this house, and I feel the sensation of her presence in the room. I have this impression of her walking through this","I know it's just the body's nervous system... and I know that I am that nervous system, that I am not a separate entity from this system, which means ","[the] thought of a friend or of a loved one or a beloved person, a familiar person, and then [it] was like a very pleasant and comfortable sense of be","the number 7, the number 9, the number of the hour, 9 o'clock, the number on my fingers, the number three, the number six, the number four, the","and so a hundred million atoms of carbon are going to be used up by the sun every second, and that is what is keeping the sun bright. I can't understa","It was the morning of May 23, 1958. I was about 20 years old, and it was my first year of university. I was taking courses in mathematics","I am going to get myself a car. I am going to buy a car, and then I am going to drive my car through the Sahara. ... I am going to be a great scientis","the particles are going from one point to the other, from the place to the place. It's like the motion of the point mass. The particle moves, the part","a person has a choice of two directions in which he can look. He may look at his own ego, which is an empty space. He may also look at himself as a wh","the current I'm in a state of mind that is the same as the state that I was in when I was a child. This is my normal state, so what am I thinking abou","[I have] a little, well, I've forgotten my name... and then, [I have a] little thought that I am not actually [here] now, that I am in the","[A]ll [the] space... all [the] dimensions... all [is] unified in its totality... all is one. All [the] things that appear to the mind...","the essence of reality is not one, it is many. There is only one, but many. The universe is the one, the cosmos is the many. One is the unity, the man","in the sense of 'soul,' I suppose we mean the spirit, but it is something other than the spirit in the sense in which we normally understand it. I kno","The Universe, and all that is within it, is the Universe itself; the Universe and all that which is within it is the Universe. That is the truth of it","in my hand, I am holding a fireball. And as I hold it, I feel its warmth. It is a piece of the fire which is not yet burned, a piece of fire that","a woman's face with a ring and a cross on her forehead. An angel's face. I was looking at her face and I was looking in her face and seeing her eyes a","there is no space between these thoughts, or the thoughts themselves are nothing. A thought is not a thing. There is a space between the thought and t","that is, the square root of -1. But that's not what it is. That is, there are things that are more complex than just that, but it is in fact a fundame","and my dream is to live in a place where the trees and grasses are alive, the water is alive, the stars are alive, everything in the universe is alive","and now, I feel very calm, I am now at one with the cosmos, I feel completely at one with everything, I feel the cosmos, that there is nothing else in","a few words that come up are: 'life', 'space', 'water', 'life'... [pause] ...a picture is formed of the light being a certain frequency and there bein","we are both here, we are both there and the space between is a bridge, the bridge of the connection, of the unity, the unity of the one, the whole, th","you know the problem of the universe. It is that, from the beginning, it was always full of its own future. It's like if you took a glass of water and","the beginning is always a point of unity and so it is the first instant which is the first of an infinity. The first instant is the whole of time. So ","that is what I wanted to say to you, my dear, I wanted to tell you what it is to love you. I would like to say it, if only to know myself, to understa","The universe is the largest living thing of which we know. There is no such thing as nothingness, because the smallest atom is alive, it is full of li","in this one room. So what I'm saying is that my being is not at all confined to any one particular place, and that's the place I have no consciousness","There is nothing but thought. It is as if it were a light, and I am a shadow. It is light that is pure light, and there are no words and no speech. I ","I remember, that I was born in my father's womb, and that I was aware, that my father was a son, that is a child, in the womb of my mother. I know","there is a very interesting thing about a person in a dream. If a person is in a dream, it is not only that there are no objects or events, there is n","and suddenly the wind of the earth itself. And the wind of air. And the water of fire. And the fire of the sun. And the light of the light. The light ","I have had a great deal to say in these last years. And it is true that I have said the right things in many respects, and also that I have not said t","and the whole idea of the whole world is that all these things should be in a certain relation with each other, so that they are each related to all t","that is, the only difference between the two is that one has a unitary existence, and the other has a many-ness. That is, a unitary object has a one-t","and now we're gonna be talking about how the mind is, and it's a question of how it is. And that's the question of how we're gonna make ourselves, as ","I remember having had a dream, perhaps in which I had had to run to catch a train. The train was coming, and I was running as fast as possible to catc","And we have to choose the best, right? But is that the right choice? We have to choose what is best and best is in a sense the best choice. It's an in","I know it's not like a song in the way I'm going to play it now. It's not a song in a way, that is, in a sense of music. It is just","and if one had to imagine how that would look like, one would have to imagine, at least in some way, a system of codes. But you see that already this ","but what do I do to know what is right? ...how do I know what is in a word? ...how to get from the word to the meaning. ...the word itself is the mean","I think about how the words are formed and how they are defined, and I am interested in that as I think about words, but then I also think about how y","I wonder how long I will be here. Maybe, as I was here before, I will disappear. In the space between words, there is a silence, and this silence, too","the word is the most simple and yet the most complex. I have just said the word 'word'; the word 'thought'; 'this', 'that'; 'I', 'you', 'he","... a green grassy field, a blue sky and a white cloud. A mountain with a brown cliff. A blue line of a river, the mountains in the sky, and a white s","the 12th century was an age of many things, and it is interesting how all these things were connected. ...the sun is the principal thing in our life, ","I don't know why, but I see a girl walking in the garden, and I hear her saying that it's beautiful, and that it is. Then, I see a man walking towards","the whole idea of the world as a giant clock, and the earth as a sphere, with a man standing on top of it, looking out into a universe, and saying, 'I","... ... ... ... (here begins a description of an image which I will attempt to render in words). Now, I am a very, very, very small creature, and I am","it is, to begin with, a very short time before the end of the world, the end of time and space. All is then the same, and nothing more than a single, ","I'm not sure of the name, but I remember, it's a famous writer, a painter. I have a vague image of the man, with a little bird on his shoulder. I don","my eye was not a solid eye, but a small hole in the head. It was not the whole, but a part of the whole. It was a tiny hole, and in this hole,","and when it was half of the circle, it became an octagon. And then when it was an octagon it became a dodecahedron. Then a dodecahedron became","I'm a man with a bag of potatoes on his back. A bag of potatoes, which contains something that can be eaten. It's a man with potatoes on his back, wal","I'm going to die. I'm going to die of cancer, I'm going to be a skeleton and I'm going to burn. I'm going to melt. I'm burning. I'm","now the number of people in my head are about 3.5. One is a big old man, a very powerful being, and he is very, very wise, very old and very,","[and] I think of a number, and the number of people I've been with, I've been 5.7 billion people in my lifetime, and I'm going to die and all","And if you don't, then you're not, you're not a free man. You're a slave to the past. You've already lost your freedom. And then, in a few hundred","I was born at home. My mother was a midwife. And I am an artist, and I am a philosopher. And I have to say that in the course of my life I have though","[I'm] here, you know, here. I'm just here. I think I am, you know. I feel my heart beating. I feel all my cells, all my muscles,","It's just a kind of thinking out loud. I can't understand what's happening to me, but I'm doing it. I have no control. I'm a robot, I am a machine","It is not necessary that the two points be located in the same physical place, but they must be in the same system of the subject. The first point is ","the star of light is moving from its position and I can't see where it is moving to. I can see that it's moving, and it's not moving along an axis, bu","I feel the voice, the sound. It is a sound. It's the same sound, like a vibrating... (there is a pause). That's why the voice is the sound, it's","and I know it's very good, but it's a long time ago, I don't remember it, and I'm sure there's a lot of truth in the story but I'm not sure","and they are thinking, and they're going to be thinking, and everything that's going on with their thought is going to be going on with the universe a","I have a feeling that what's really happening in the brain is the result of the way we use our minds. We are so used to being able to control our mind","I don't know why we have such a relationship to time. It's kind of a trick that the brain is playing on itself. We don't really know what it is that w","in the beginning the universe was not very big, but in the end it was not very small...there is no reason that the universe should be as big as it is;","It was the 1920's, and a certain young man was born. The young man is the same young man who is looking at the universe right now. This universe has b","the numbers were always changing, and the numbers themselves, the numbers you were trying to count, were always changing. I was looking at a graph, an","and I was thinking of that old saying which says that the Earth is 50% water and 50%, I'm going to say, but it's not 50%. I think","I'm thinking about something that I'm going to do with some people I know who are very good at mathematics, and it's like the game of telephone where ","and you know what I'm saying? I don't know what I said. I'm trying to say something, and I'm saying things. I can't say anything. I can only say that","the voice from the back of my head said, 'it is the time for the world to end', and I thought 'what do you mean? the world's going to end?' and the vo","this is the 'I', and I am the 'I' and I am this and I am that and I am other and I am more than that, I am not even that. And I","I have a sense of what I am. And I am a sense. And I can't understand this sense that is me. And I know that it is not a sense because it knows that i","Now I will ask you, what is the essence of this thinking process that you are doing? If we take away the actual words, and look at the underlying thou","then there is an unknown number of individuals and there is some unknown number of instances of the universe which are identical with the universe, an","I know there's a lot of energy in this Universe. It's just not distributed in any meaningful way, because if there was, it would be just a one-time en","a thing. So if we were to go through the spectrum of possibilities of what a thing is, or what a thing could be, I don't know what it is that we'd go ","a few of these other things that we know, so in the process of trying to think about this problem, I have been able to develop a set of criteria for t","[I am thinking] about the thing that is the world, and that is all of reality. There's a question here. What is the question? How can I know what is t","but we're all of us in the same position, all of us are. We're all of the same species, and we are all of the same size, and we're all the same shape","we're seeing something that we are not, that we're not able to see, or we're able to see only very partially. So I am in the situation of a man who is","and they are all right. And they are all in harmony. It's just a matter of how they're working, so that they are working harmoniously, which is, of co","and then, all of a sudden, it's a question, and you start thinking about the question, and then you find the answer, and then the answer is a question","the sense of the meaning of the word. ... You're going to say, 'what is a word?' and then you're going to get the answer. It's a sound. ... Now,","and then it was... and it's... and it was... I know this... and it seems... and then it's like... and then I know... and then... it's like... but","and a new idea emerged out of nowhere. I was looking for something, but it didn't exist and I got frustrated. But I can't think of why I'm frustrated,","I am... I am an object with... I am a part of the world. I am not separate from the world, I am a point in the world... I am not a point in a","a cloud of bees is buzzing through the forest, it's a very simple scene, it's very simple, it's simple because it's not complex, because it's a scene.","I'm looking at it with a strange kind of pleasure. It's not an ordinary pleasure; I think it's the pleasure of knowing that I'm looking at the thing. ","I'm looking at a very fine point, a small sphere with a diameter of one hundredth of a millimeter, which is the wavelength of the light at a given fre","I remember walking through the woods in the afternoon sun, and seeing a beetle. A beetle came right in front of me, and I looked at it. I thought, 'Wo","I can see that the earth is being tilted in the space between two stars. It's a long way down in space, but I can see the star and the other stars aro","now I am seeing the picture of the black hole with its accretion disk. The light of the disk is bending around the black hole, in a spiral. But if thi","and the whole universe is just the result of the evolution of the interaction of those particles, so it's the result of the interaction between all th","it is just a few degrees of separation between you and me. I'm trying to make a map of the universe and I can do it without knowing anything about the","and I had a little moment where I could see a bit more than just the two dimensions I was in, and that was very interesting, very weird to see. I coul","[M]y brain is looking around to see what's happening in the universe. ... It's looking at this model of the universe as a hologram. It's looking to se","it's almost like we're moving through this environment and the only thing that's preventing us from moving through it is the fact that we're not consc","a point of light ... that I can feel, that is constantly present ... the center of my being ... the center where my mind is, ... I am a point of energ","It's a little bit like when you have an idea and you think, 'Oh, it's true, it's really true,' and then you can see the idea is true. It's like","the thoughts that we have when we don't know what we're thinking about... are very close to the things we see in the brain. When we are thinking about","I'm looking at my watch. It's 22:32. This is a big number. The number is composed of the digits 2232. That's interesting. The","the body is made of 55% water, ...it's also made up of proteins, fats, carbohydrates. I have to get some water in. ...my body has some fat in it","I am trying to make a mental picture of the table. It's about 0.9 m high, so 0.3 m from the top. 0.15 m from the","the thing is, there's a lot of things that are important, but they're all little things, right? like the distance between a lot of points and the cent","39393480.87950 1812.67339 6423.49316 17","the reason I like to take a break here is the way it feels as I start to relax. As soon as I start thinking about taking a break, my mind gets a bit l","I'm looking at my hand, I'm trying to imagine how I could fold this sheet in half, I could fold it vertically, but that won't work. I think the vertic","this is my thought. There was a tree there, it was a very tall tree, it was 100 meters high. There was also a bird on the tree. I have a camera","right now I'm doing this in my mind. I'm not touching the mouse. I'm just using my mouse. The cursor is moving. I'm drawing a line. I'm... the line","I am sitting on a bench. It's dark. I'm looking at the tree and I see this object falling on my head. It's a cube. I want to move the cube. I","I'm not really thinking about anything at all. I'm just focusing my attention on the feeling of my head. I have a little sensation in the center of my","the only thing you can do with this is to make a mental map. Let's say you have a box of toys with which you can construct a mental map, and you can u","you know, you know, this is a problem. You know, there is this problem and then we need to think about it. This is a problem and this is the problem a","it's really hard to say what it is, it's a memory, but I'm not sure how to put it in words, I'm not even sure what it is. It's hard to","and the second time he got a 0.30747... I know that's wrong because it should be a 3, but I don't know why it's not a","10000 is a big number, 100 is also a big number. What is 100 - 10? 90. What is a - b","a small plane ... I know it is not a good idea ... the small plane ... it is not good ... it is a small plane ... plane ... I don't know ... it is goo","oh yes, ok. Uh... 2/3, ok. Yeah. 3, 1/2, ok. ... 4, 1, ok. 5, 1"],["and that's it, and that's good. Now, this is the bad part, is it not? Now, let's see, let's, oh, let's get this straight: I","and I see this guy here. He's got a little bit of a mustache and a little bit a beard, and he's wearing this tunic, and he has these little fringes on","and if it is, we'll be fine, and we'll be good people and we'll make a good world and it will be good. So, we're going to have to have a lot","[t]hat's why it's so hard to say no. It's like, there's nothing you can do, but you can still say no. Like, that's what you're supposed","and I am afraid because I'm afraid of people. I can't talk to people, I feel like they're going to go in the wrong direction and I don't want to say t","it's a small world...sometimes I see that some people I know I really need...I need to talk to them, so I say 'Hi! Hello!'...I'm very quiet and I","I'm going to talk about the relationship between the human and the animal, the human and nature. How this is all related to the way we live, the way w","the word 'eagerly' (tapping fingers) is something I like to use in my writing. 'Eagerly' is like... (chuckles) what I like to be called","the problem is that there's an idea that I'm supposed to think of in terms of this kind of, I don't know, this is a little difficult. It's a little di","the fact that you're looking at me, right now, in the room with me, and I can see your face. But the fact that you are looking at me is a function of ","you know I like this [points at image] ... it's not just a part of a scene, it's like a ... scene ... this is a scene where I'm just talking to you,","I was having this dream that I was trying to go to the bathroom and I couldn't. So I'm just stuck on the toilet, and I'm just staring out the window. ","a little bit, it's not...but it's not what you thought...oh yeah...I've never been this close to you...oh yeah, I've never...been this close to a","[I]f I were to write a story... I think I'd have a female main character, a woman... she would be... she would have... she would... she would probably","and he said I was so lucky to have you, and i'm like, 'well, i don't think i'm as lucky as you are!' and he's like, 'yeah, you","we could be friends...maybe we could be like, 'okay, I'm going to be your best friend and you can be mine too and then we can be best friends forever'","I'm trying to remember if I have any plans for Christmas. I guess I could just go back to sleep and wake up with a plan... but that doesn't seem like ","and he's not here. I need to call him. He said he'll be here. I guess he forgot or something, but I'm sad because I like him a lot and I don't","[the man] he was like...i don't know...maybe it's...i don't get it...maybe he's...like...[laughter] oh no no no...i don't","I've been thinking about it, I think it's okay, but I'm not sure, maybe I'm being too hard on you, I think maybe I was a little mean, but I don","you know you've always had this habit of reading on the go. You just kind of pick up your phone, or if it's your laptop you just pick it up, you know?","the song...[I can't hear it]...oh, no, the song, the one I wanted to listen to on the way here, the one that I think I'm gonna like...","I think I need to take a break, right? Cause, I mean, I'm really just tired. It's been, like, super stressful the past couple of weeks, and I just nee","the more I think about it the more I feel like the whole thing is a bit...a bit of a mess. But I guess that's how it is when you're working on somethi","I think maybe my mother is, like, a little bit of a control freak but I donโ€™t think thatโ€™s really her intent, I think she just has high expectations f","[My son] is very pretty...he has this huge smile that I'm gonna have to save for myself. He's gonna get all the attention and then I'm just gonna...he","and then, like, if the girls at my school were in a game of charades, and they're like, 'What's your song?' and I'm like, 'I'm sorry,","I'm thinking about my mom...and my dad and my dad is in the hospital, and he's doing a lot better, but he has a lot of problems. My dad has a lot of","and that's just, yeah, you know. I'm still kind of really scared that I might actually be good at it. But I'm not like, really good at it or anything,","you're saying that the way he is in real life and the way that he is in the movie are almost exactly the same, and that they just have like different ","I think this is kind of like a real relationship and I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should be trying to get out of it or just be really oka","the other guy is always in my mind. And I'm trying to figure out how to tell her to stop talking to me and that I just can't, I just can't deal with i","I am doing so well. I'm getting through it all. I have this person who I really like, but she is married. So now, I'm not just dealing with this other","I know I should have gone to therapy. It's just that it's hard to actually go in there and talk to someone about my problems. I mean, I'm not good at ","I think I need to be more patient with myself. I can't do this on my own. I need help. Maybe I should consider therapy or support groups. I feel like ","I really didn't want to work that hard. I mean, I was just hoping that it would go smoothly, but obviously it didn't. And then I was just like, okay, ","I guess I just don't have any good habits. I don't have like any good habits to fall back on. Like, I don't know. I guess I'm just a mess, and","I know the work's not gonna change that, and it won't change my life in the grand scheme, but it's a step in the right direction. And that's something","I'm gonna be okay...I'll be okay. I think. I think I'm gonna be alright...I'll work through this. It'll get better. It will. I'll just have","I want to go to a party. I want to see this person again. I want someone to love me. I want something from her. I want her to be my friend. I want us","and then you could really lose it because that would be so... so sad and I'm really trying to be okay with that too because I don't... I don't want to","and then I think it's like, 'I wish I had never met him, I wish I had not made it happen.' And then like, you know, you're like, 'What's","the whole thing was that...it was supposed to be... I had like the best life. Like I had it all and then all of a sudden I had everything that I wante","what would it be like to go back to my parents? It was an experience where I got the first real taste of what it was like to not be loved. I think I w","I donโ€™t know what the hellโ€™s wrong with me, but I donโ€™t even feel like having sex anymore. I donโ€™t care about anything or anyone. Iโ€™ve been having a h","I was thinking about some of the things that I've been thinking about. Like, I have a lot of people in my life that I don't necessarily care about but","I was trying to make it work. I mean, like, I knew it was going to be difficult and I was like, I'm just gonna try to make it happen anyway. And it's","I have this feeling like I have a lot of energy but it's kind of hard to find a way to direct that energy to something that's going to make it worth i","I'm trying to come up with a way to end this without having to hurt her and I feel like I'm being pushed into this position by a lot of different thin","I'm so tired. I'm so scared. I don't even know how I'm going to do this. I don't think I could do this if I didn't have therapy. I don","I want to see them in person, just to see them and to have that connection. And also, I'm really into the idea of a couple. So I really want to see ho","I just remembered that my father and I did this when we were in college... We had to have an open house and we had to do a show, so I got up and I was","and it's like, it's like a real... it's like it's like the opposite of that. It's like the same as that, but you're like, you're like a different","and then I feel like my whole body just crumbles apart and I just kind of just... I donโ€™t know, I feel like Iโ€™m just... I feel like the ground is shak","And I think I'm just like I said, I'm just kinda like the only thing that's left I like, is I like to do these long, like I have like 40-","[laughs] itโ€™s the best day ever. I just had a really good day at work and it was everything I was hoping it was. Itโ€™s just so good. Iโ€™m going to share","and then I thought about... about how I feel like I want to try a new thing and I don't know if I can, it's like... I feel like a little bit of an adu","and it's like a new episode is always coming. And it's like the new episode is gonna be the one where you're like, I'm like, you know, like, it's like","I know what a good mood I am in now, like when I first went to the pool... and it was like, 'omg I don't care about anything'... and then I realized","I'm starting to get a little... I don't know. It's like this, but it's a bit too much. I have a feeling like, if I think too hard about this,","And I'm like, 'Wow, my dog has been missing for a month.' And then I was like, 'It's been a month and it's fine.' And I'm really scared now","I'm on a bus, and I think about how this is the worst part of a flight. I'm not going to have to wait for hours and hours for my flight. I think that ","I wonder what I look like from the outside. I wonder why I feel like crying so much today. I'm just like 'eh' when I walk down the street. I have to t","it's like a bad dream that's just going on in your head. It's kind of like if you have a bad dream, and you're like, 'Oh, man, I'm like","[thinking about a song by Frank Ocean] [thinking about my wife] [thinking about something stupid I did on the way to school] [thinking of my friends] ","I'm trying to think of a good way to summarize our session today. Like, what are some things we should take away or maybe do after this, like a recap ","And, you know, like the, the, the way you know, I mean, I've talked about my work and my family. And, you know, and, and, like, I","[I'm] thinking about [how] people can sometimes, like, do things for people, [for example] like, like, I guess, I don't know if you've ever seen","this is interesting, I mean, it's like, I don't know, like, I think my parents, they don't have as much of a sense of like, they're like, I","yeah it's like that's like a thing that I'm not like I can't talk about it very much, you know, but like it's like, I think I have something like, you","and itโ€™s like thereโ€™s a kind of like, you know, just a little bit of like, of like, kind of a weird feeling thatโ€™s like, like a like, just a kind","this whole thing with like my like uh, like this thing I like you know, I don't know if you guys, I don't know what you guys are into, but, like, I","the other thing I'm thinking about is just like what's a really good movie? Like a movie that's really good? I'm thinking like the movie that's like..","I have some weird theory that like you know there's a certain number of people that are born with some kind of special ability that like they could ma","and, so I can't tell if it's me or if it's the camera, but sometimes I look at the camera and I feel like it's seeing me. I'm seeing a lot of","I guess I'm thinking about my friends... you know, I feel like I don't get to see them enough... I guess I just worry about them, like I'm worried abo","I feel like my hands are wet and cold, like I was walking in the rain yesterday, so it's like it's almost 2 o'clock now... I'm thinking about what to ","i wonder what this was like when i was 7 years old. I guess when i was like a teenager i would be a lot more self conscious and like nervous about the","and then i also had this weird like weird feeling like a really big hole in my chest, but i thought, 'oh, it's just stress' cause my dad's just passed","I'm thinking of the days of the pandemic and how much I miss my friends. I don't think I'll ever see them again. I know they're alive but I still feel","what is it like to not feel things? like the sun? or the moon? like the wind? like the rain? like the grass? like the birds? like the animals? like th","what do I need to be grateful for? ... I'm so grateful I'm alive. I'm so thankful I'm still here. I'm so happy I got to see this. I'm glad","I don't know how long this is going to last. It's weird. It's like I'm just getting rid of everything. It's all just getting to the surface, but at th","a lot of the time it's like this. I'm like, 'I don't even want to do this. This is bad,' then like, 'You have to do it. This is","I feel like I have so much pressure to make my life great, so much pressure. But I don't wanna. I wanna do something different. I wanna live different","I donโ€™t think Iโ€™m ever going to get over him. I canโ€™t. I just canโ€™t. And I guess Iโ€™ve been living with it. Iโ€™m like a ghost, living with","I want to do a bunch of things to be a better person, but I don't know how to actually do it. Like, I know I have to change my habits, but like what e","[I]n my 30s, I'm not sure if I'd have taken a break to go back to school for my masters. I don't think I was in the right place","so you know the way I've been talking to my partner for a while about like, if we were to be married, we could be a polyamorous relationship, you know","I feel like I can be a great mother, but I think I'll take my time. Like it doesn't have to be like, 'I have to do everything by myself.' But, I","so, I have been thinking about, um, the idea of, um, moving away from the, uh, the, uh, kind of, um, what we're doing now, uh,","yeah, I mean, I don't really feel like I've made a lot of progress in my career. I mean, the last few years, I was in the hospital for about six month","yeah, I have a lot of the same anxieties and concerns that I had when I was like 18 or 19. I have the same anxieties now that I had at","it's a hard day. I was a hard day at work. I had to, I had to go to the bank. I just had a very bad day at work, because I got fired","the thing with you, I really want to talk about you and your problems. I've got a lot of stuff in my head and I really just want to get that out of th","[I]tโ€™s been a very tough year for my dad and my brother, and I really need to get that out of my system, so I donโ€™t have to keep thinking about it.","I donโ€™t know how much time itโ€™s going to take because Iโ€™m still kind of getting back into this and Iโ€™m still getting the hang of it, but itโ€™s good to ","And I'm not gonna be doing this for much longer, because I'm just like, I'm just gonna get to the point where I'm like, I don't really know if I want ","I was in the back of my car, and I'm looking up to the sky, and I was just like, oh, this is gonna be good, like, I'm gonna be able to","there's so much to see right now, there's a lot of stuff to see, and it's just kind of a little overwhelming to try and take it all in, and I feel lik","And just now, I was thinking about, I just don't want to make a list, but I just want to, like, write down all the things that I've been thinking abou","I was thinking about how I used to feel a lot of anxiety around people. I mean, like I was like a weirdo or something. I didn't know how to navigate s","I'm just gonna say the obvious. Like, I mean, if I think about it, I think I'm a really great person, but I don't like people to see me as the best","I think I could have probably just walked around the entire time and gotten a lot of stuff done. It's just, it's been so difficult with like a lot of ","and then I was like, oh, Iโ€™m just going to, you know, maybe go ahead and, you know I just got this phone case, which is, you know. I donโ€™t","it's all been so stressful. I've been so stressed out about a bunch of stuff and it's just, yeah, it's been a really difficult time in my life. So, I ","I think it would be cool if they just put a mask on like a like a mask on and just put a like a little like a little camera that was on like a helmet.","what about, uh, uh, yeah, so I, so I guess, I guess I just want to uh, just want to talk about um, how, how, I guess the, the","and yeah. I know. I don't know why I'm. You know, why I'm doing it. I mean, I have a job that I like. And, and you know,","like, if we were, I mean, if you guys are all like, oh yeah, it would be so awesome to go to like, if you're all like, okay, yes, and","I think my family has been...I think we have to have a little bit more of a plan, like how do you, how do you keep your family in order, and how do yo","it's all good. Like, I don't know, I don't have too much anxiety about the future because I know like I know it's going to be good. Like I know like,","um ... um ... I mean, I mean, well, um ... I'm ... I'm going to say that's kind of, like, a kind of, um ... um, I, I","And it's like, uh, I was just, I was on a vacation and I was, I was driving through like a, I was in a, I'm, I'm I'm like","I think that's probably more or less what was happening in the world, right? And like, I mean, I guess it's like, I'm just like, yeah, it was just lik","And so that's what's going to be done next week is, we're going to have some time off to, to think about some of this stuff that's been going on. We'v","[A] lot of times it just depends on the day of the week. Sometimes I'm feeling like I got some energy to get a lot done and I'm like, 'Okay, I can","I was thinking about how the next time we have a conference we're going to be there for the whole day, which is great, and I think we're going to do a","And then I'm gonna go back to the beach, and I'm gonna put my feet in the water and just go swimming. And I'm gonna be like, it's the middle of the we","I'm thinking about how much I love my family. How we're all together this weekend. And it's amazing because we got to go out and have a big family din","and that was the first day, like it was so long ago, and then it was a long day. It was like I had a lot of meetings, so I was like, you know,","I think we should probably have more people in there...I feel like it's just not enough, especially now with the new changes that are happening...I th","itโ€™s just... like, you know, youโ€™re trying to like, make decisions or like, plan for the future, but youโ€™re like, what if something happens that you d","my cat [has] been pretty sick, it's been having like a weird fever or something like that, they gave it some medication, but I'm hoping it gets better","And, uh, like, I was thinking about, uh, I think I've mentioned that, um, uh, a few times, uh, my, uh, uh, um, my cat","[talking to my mom about her taking the medicine]... and you know thatโ€™s not the same as what she says it is. Itโ€™s more like a mild sedative because i","And thatโ€™s the other thing Iโ€™m thinking about. You know, like, I donโ€™t have any, you know, I donโ€™t, Iโ€™m not really sure what kind of plans I have","um ... like a person who is in the middle of their day and they're thinking about like they have like a plan for the day, like they've like they've go","I'm trying to figure out what the difference is between what I have to do, because I've been trying to figure this out and I don't have a good answer.","the whole thing was really cool. The whole process was really cool because I realized, and you know, I'm a huge fan of mental math and things like tha","I'm trying to think about the best way to implement a feature that would allow users to quickly jump to different tabs in a multi-tab application. I'm","I think that that is, I'm not sure if that's the same thing but, you know, there's like, there's, the, I remember reading some article about, like, if","I guess it's just a combination of the two, that I'm trying to stay a little bit more present, but also trying to stay in a state of flow for a long a","the only way that I can imagine that you can be so sure about the accuracy of an answer, is if you had some kind of a feedback loop that's going to va","I feel like I'm still kind of working towards the point of knowing my own emotions. Like, what do I really feel here? I guess, I've got some anxiety a","this is just the question, what are the things that are holding you back, what is stopping you, what are you trying to accomplish, what are your goals","So, like, I've got these two ideas that I'm thinking of having, I want to try and develop these two ideas. One of them is a little more technical, mor","I've been trying to think of some way to help the team get excited about what they're working on, but I don't have any good ideas. Maybe we need to cr","I would say that the most important things are the ones that are done, because you need to be able to learn from that. If you're doing it well, and it","I was reading about how to deal with the fear of change. The most important thing you can do is to build up your confidence. The more confident you ar","we need to think about the problem in a different way. If we think about it as a problem, we need to identify the root cause and then come up with sol","[I]s it possible for us to be able to move forward? ... We can move forward with our AI systems. But in the context of this AI system, what will it lo","Iโ€™m thinking about all this work thatโ€™s been done, the number of people in the room, the time it took, and the fact that it took more time than I thou","[the person is] not always present. You're not always present at work, you're not always at home. You're always at work, and I'm at home. There are ti","this is something I have been thinking about, when I was a student, and I remember that when I was first, when I got my first job in industry, I was q","it's very strange to do this study, because it's very different from what we normally do. It's not a normal research method. We normally do research i","[M]aybe if you are thinking about what is going to happen, but you have a hard time figuring out what's going to happen and you have an open mind and ","the world is the way it is. I'm a student, and I'm in a big university, and I have to learn a lot of things. I have to be a good student, so","there is this question in my head about how to be better, and so I'm wondering, what are my personal goals? What am I trying to achieve in my life rig","I don't know how long it's going to be, it might be like one week, it might take a little bit longer, but I'm just going to do the best I can and get","and now I am here in this place and it is so beautiful and I want to look at some of the history and the culture that has been in this place for so lo","and I think this is the right place because you know, it's got the the the the community center is there and then you know, the the school is there, t","what's the point of being there? I just got to work, I just got back to work, and I've been doing this all the time, right, and what's the point, righ","yeah. I guess I don't know why, but it's a little bit... I guess it's a feeling that's like a feeling of disconnection. I don't feel like I'm actually","I'm gonna ask him to tell me, I'm gonna tell him, I'm not gonna say you need to do X, I'm going to say you need to look at some of these things","So I'm thinking about, so, there's this like, you know, you can have this like, this, this, I don't know how I would describe it, but it's this","my dad was so sick with cancer that I felt like I could have just been my mother's kid, and that's what I wanted, I wanted to be, I wanted it to be li","And I'm like, and so that's what they've done, so what is that what is that that's, that's what it's like, to feel like you don't even know who","I want to take a deep breath. So, the word is, there are a couple of reasons. You could just take it in the way you feel like it's a challenge. It's,","and the whole thing is that when the person gets back to the US, it's like it's almost like a trial. So like you're, like the person is not even at li","there's this, this idea of a certain, certain, certain economic model that's the ideal, right? ... and I mean, I have no, I don't think it's an ideal.","we could probably use, for a long time, a bunch of software that just acts as a proxy. I think the current iteration of AI is actually a really good p","I'm actually going to do this research project. And one of the things that I'm really interested in is this concept of, 'Do I have a strong enough gri","I'll give you a little example. What's the word that we use when we're talking about a certain type of risk where, like, for example, in a company whe","[T]hinking about what's going on in the world, and I don't think about this as a sort of an elite problem. This is a problem for all of us. And I","And I was thinking, this is interesting because I have been thinking about this in a more traditional sense, which is there's a lot of cognitive work ","my next project would be to put together a set of questions that can be given to an audience and get an answer. I have a lot of questions already abou","I'm thinking, well, it's like, I'm, I'm looking at this data and it's, you know, we have different people with different needs. And so I'm, you","and then this idea is something like, this idea of this world, the idea of this whole world, this concept of the world, and then there are a bunch of ","[S]till trying to find an answer for this question, which was a very hard question: what is the future of the state of education in the United States?","[I]f the particles are going to be, say, one by one, then you have to be able to do quantum measurement. So you have to have something like an electro","... ... ... ... Okay, so, the big problem is, I don't have the same amount of time. I have two minutes. It's hard to get the right amount of time for ","so we're talking about the problem of the ability of a model to be able to change. ... ... and that's just a general statement, you know, in any case,","the old man said, 'It's all very nice to say that, but we're going to have to make a different decision. We're going to build a system with 1000","it seems like in some sense we could say, 'How can we know that the universe is finite?' There are two ways of phrasing this, and they're really equiv","we can go to a new state of consciousness, like a meditation, a state of consciousness that allows for a greater capacity of exploration of the possib","so they want to make you a leader in the project and the work... but it's very hard to become a leader in a project if you're not a leader in your own","it's very difficult for me to have an honest discussion about what is the difference between a non-technical manager and a technical manager and what ","a little bit of thought, little bits of thought, we could work them out later on, it's actually how we do our research. The most interesting part of a","there is a lot of emphasis in the literature on the importance of the cognitive aspect of attention, as opposed to the non-cognitive aspects of attent","there's a lot of stuff that I want to do, but I have to wait until my mom says, 'okay, you can do that'... I feel like that I have to be really","it seems, in my mind, that this is the most interesting time. This is the time that we are at a place where there is the most overlap in the activity ","and you have this. You have these. There are these, and these, and these. These are the things that you have. And this is the world, that you have the","so I am looking at this, and I realize that we have a theory of computation. What is that? This is not a computation. This is just a logical reasoning","you're here and you've been here before. You've seen it before. You remember what happened, it's not like you're going to it for the first time. And s","the sum total of the evidence suggests that what we observe at this level of reality is the result of an extremely complex and sophisticated network o","I am trying to say something. I am trying to make an image. This is the image of what is going on in my mind. It is this. The light is here, it is shi","it's the same, it's the same. It's the same...I'm looking at a little bit of...it's a little bit more than...what I'm doing right now is not","and this is the point where we need to start to look at the whole of the experience of the user. I mean the user can be in a certain environment, they","my head is getting very hot, but I can still keep my eyes closed. I can also feel my face getting warm. I'm getting very tired now. I'm lying down in ","you see that in the picture, I can see, this is the tree and that is the ground and the ground has this brown color, and the tree has a light green co","we want to find a way to do a machine that does it. [20:39] This is what is a machine that is a kind of human brain, in the sense that the","and I don't want to sleep in my own bed because I'm just going to sleep and not be able to think anymore, and I know that would be bad. So I'm not goi","I don't know what I think of this, this is a great point. I don't have enough of the evidence to make any statements, but the idea is there, it's not ","but if you were to do that, then you can only do that if you have a program for which you have the ability to solve the problem. If you just do that, ","the definition of a set of axioms is that a set of mathematical objects can be derived from that set. So, how is it possible that, if you have a set o","I am thinking about how much energy is expended when we go from a state of rest to a state of movement, or from one movement to another. For example, ","I'm looking at the air, I can't see the air, but I see that it's there. I see it in the sense that I can feel it, I can feel that it's","I can't use this word, can't use 'eureka' anymore, it is so popular, and I know this word. But if I want to make the difference between 'eureka',","I'm thinking of this house and how it was built and how the building was done and I can see the whole house in my mind... I can see all the rooms... I","I have to put it in front of my face, but then I don't want it to go out, so I have to hold it. If I hold it in my hand, it's still","the last one... was a square... and I've been thinking about it all the time, a square, a square in two dimensions, so there's a lot of possibilities,","[i]t's a big universe, man, the universe... you're tiny. I mean, you are a very, very tiny speck in this big thing that's spinning. Like if","and they have to be in some sort of a sequence, or at least not just random. They can't be totally random, there has to be some sort of logical order.","... ... ... ... oh! ... ... ... ahh! ... ... and what would you say about this? ... ... ... you know, if you were a computer, you could not really mod","now this is the interesting thing ... we have an object in our brain. ... we have a visual memory. ... we are remembering images ... in our memory we ","I am sitting, and my head is in a ball of thought, and my legs are not connected to my body. The head is in the ball of thought. The legs are not in t","[i]t was a hot summer day, and my mother was in the bathroom and I was in the living room. My father was in the kitchen, and there was a hot plate, an","I remember that when you were with us, you told me that there was no difference between a black hole and a white hole. That's why I was trying to thin","well, now, it's really very, very easy to get into a situation where, where you have to deal with a bunch of different things, you can't take care of ","The most beautiful place on earth, where the light and the sky are one. This is the world. ... the world, the world, everything is world, world, every","and it's been a while since I've been to the supermarket. There are two things I'm looking for. The first is the last of the beans of the first. You'v","the boy said: 'Oh my God.' The boy was in his room and he heard a noise in the kitchen. And the noise was not a noise, it was a sound, the sound of","I have the feeling that I'm not alone, and yet I can't say it. I'm not a solipsist, I know I'm not the only one in the universe. So why","(12549) and (12394) ... (11279) ... (4336) ... (7975) ... (3","but you cannot live, if you cannot forget, if you do not forget your past, if you remain a prisoner of the past, if, for example, you want to remember","now the universe is a great ocean, a great space of whiteness and nothingness... And I am in the centre of it. I am in a great hole in the centre. I a","a child of mine was born with a name, and this name has become the name of my own. This name is the name of the nameless. And it is in this name, in t","now the person is gone. But, however I think of it, my thought is a person who lives within my mind, my soul, my heart. And this person, when it moves","I have to see, I have to find, I have no more time; I have no time left, I have exhausted time. I am not my own. I am a slave of the time","I have just heard a sound, I think it is a sound which comes from my own body, but I can't identify it. It's not a sound of my body, it is not a","and I think I've got my finger on this: the basic problem is the feeling of the brain, the feeling of mind, the feeling, that which is felt, which is ","The only thing I could think of was, what if God is just the physical world as a whole, the material universe, the cosmos? But if you think about it, ","it's like a shadow that I think about all the time. The shadow's like a real, you know, object. And then I'm like a little shadow that I project from ","this is something that is going on. It's something that I am becoming, that I am creating as a process. And this is something to be aware of. This is ","and I know that I know nothing. And I don't know what I know. And I'm not even sure how I can know it. And yet, I know that this is something I know","and now we are all together and the world has become an immense stage and I have come here to act out my own personal drama and there are others here ","and as if by a natural impulse, as if by an instinctive knowledge I became aware of this truth: that everything, all phenomena are of a different natu","all these things are already known to me; I am the all that is. All is already in me, I have not to find it outside. My search for truth, for a realit","the more I think about this, the more I am aware of how little I know about how my own mind is functioning. It's true, when I try to think about what ","and I know that there are a lot of other things that I want to get to but that I cannot do at the present moment, but if I am just lying here, just ta","The feeling of being present, being alive, is the presence of the observer. It is the presence in time, the presence of a subject who observes itself,","now you see me, now you see me not, now I am not there. Then again I come back as the form of my body. You have the sensation of the body and you know","I see a spider sitting on the ground and it has no legs. I see the spider. It's a kind of a white thing. It's kind of like a white cloud. I see that","I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable, a bit embarrassed about my body, I'm not sure why, and I'm trying to remember what's the most appropriate way to th","I feel this pressure, a little bit like what you would feel if you were to hold your breath or if you were breathing very shallowly, very quickly. Thi","now it's 8:17 in the morning and I'm in my office and I'm working at the computer and I'm writing this blog, and it's a little bit like meditation,","and that's a great point, that we're all trying to understand. I think that's a very important point. The world is a lot more complex than we give it ","and then I'm like, 'Okay, well, what's a good thing that you should think about or focus on, for the next 5-10 minutes?' And then I start thinking","what is it to be a woman? To be a person? To be? To be a being? To be conscious, to be aware, to be? I'm aware of myself, I'm","I see the same thing from the other side, and I'm trying to understand it... I think the way it works is that I am constantly in this kind of 'unconsc","[In my mind] I have a sensation of a vibration, I am vibrating, and I have a feeling of a vibration that goes through me as a wave, and I am the wave ","a dream. I was in my dream and my body was moving through space. I could see and I was able to feel, and yet I was not really seeing and I was not in ","and it is important that one does not try to make any analysis or interpretation of the contents, because it would interrupt the process of thinking. ","a story that I remember from my childhood. It's about a young man who had a conversation with an older man, who was an older man of wisdom. And the yo","I am the Universe. This is how it is. There is nothing that can be done with respect to this Universe. I am this Universe, which is also a kind of sel","you know you are not what you are, you are what you are not, because what you are is a name, and what you are not is the unconditioned, and it is this","my thought is to start over again, to go back to the beginning, to start to live again from the beginning. The beginning is the beginning, and the end","I'm going to a restaurant; I'm going there. I've done it before, so I know what I'm going to do, but I know that I'm not going there only for the","what a wonder. It is not the past, but only an appearance of the past, and what is real is only the present. When I have thought I have had the past, ","my own mind, my own existence, my own experience, is one thing, and it is not so different from the entire universe, the entire world. This world, thi","[T]hings that are being known [as] being known, and this is [a] thing that has been known. Things that are being not known [as] not known, and","[a] thought in the middle of a thought. What is this thing that's moving? I don't know what this thing is. It's not my body, it's not my soul,","and then I was in the world of dreams, and I was in a room, and there was a window. And then I was looking out the window. And there was something. Th","the little children that I met in the night... the children that I saw in the night in the vision, as I was going into my dream... I remember I was lo","the green fields of the garden. This is the garden of the city. This is a great garden that covers the whole of the city, and is connected with it. It","and then a little bit later I get to thinking that the little boy was a little bit more than a year old and was playing with a big boy that was probab","a man on the moon... he is the center of the earth, and I am the center of the moon... my soul is a circle, it has no center... a line that goes from ","this is the same as when you have an idea that comes into your mind, but you have no words for it, and you try to say it out loud. There is a moment o","the thought of the world's vastness. The world is vast, and I feel the vastness of the world and I feel this vastness of it in me, as well. The world ","and there you are, that's how it is, but it's not how it is. It's not how you are, you're not, but you're not and you're not. It","It's a very odd way of thinking. I think it's a kind of thought. And in fact, it is thought, but in a very odd, in a very non-intellectual,","a few years back a colleague of mine who was working on a book about the work of the Chinese philosopher Wang Yang-ming gave me a very clear example o","the man who is walking down the street, and we see that the man is walking down this street, we see that he is moving forward, we see his movement. An","I would like to say, 'I would like to go to sleep,' but it doesn't happen like this. It's a kind of ritual or some kind of process in which I would li","I think about my mother, as I used to hear her singing, and then I think about myself as the one who sang, and then as the one who heard, and then, I ","And in this case it's the mind, it's the will, that's the self, that's you. And it's very difficult to really see the distinction between mind and bod","a sound that has no materiality, which is to say a pure sound, in which no matter what sound is immanent. This is an ineffable thing. This is a sound ","the 'I' and the world of experiences of the 'I' are not in any sense the 'I', nor are they any part of the 'I'. The 'I' is an ever","and now, this is one of the problems that is most important, and very basic: if I say something to you, you understand it immediately, and the same th","and we can talk about these things, but we can also talk about them in the other direction. So that, in order to have a conversation in this way, in o","we're in the middle of a war in the Middle East. There are millions of people who are starving and dying of hunger. They're not the kind of people tha","you have to be in a situation where you have a lot of time to think, where you're not in any hurry. So this is not really a social situation. It's an ","we know, in our heart, that this is the truth, this is the only truth, that this world, this universe, this planet is going to come to an end, and the","and I'm also feeling very afraid that I'm going to go to hell, because I think there are a lot of people who are going to hell right now. They're very","And you know that the whole point of your body is to make energy. I mean, you're not here to make anything. You're here to make energy, that's it. And","so my thinking is that the human species is made up of many different kinds of people and is composed of different types of consciousness, which have ","the earth is just this huge object that's spinning, that's going around the sun and there's a huge spiral going all the way around it and at every poi","I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I keep thinking about that? It's so hard for me to be alone. I don't want to be alone, I want to be","And what's that about? This thing that is an image. It's like a picture of a landscape. And it's like a landscape with people in it. And they are just","what is this? It's like a black box. This is what is being processed, the way of perception. So what is this? I think I have to explain what I am doin","what if a single entity is the fundamental nature of everything? And it is conscious, and it is creative, and it's also pure consciousness. And that w","I'm thinking of the memory, a memory of a memory. I think this is what is happening, we have the memory of an experience, but in a different state, it","I have been thinking of you, and I am aware of a certain stillness, a certain emptiness. This is something that has to do with time, with my relations","my mind is in this room, but I can also be in other places at the same time. That's interesting. And what's more interesting is that my mind can trave","and you have a very high quality of mind, but I think you have to keep moving through your own mind. The quality of your mind is the quality of your c","this is the essence, the thing. The essence, the core of the essence, is the essence of the thing. I am talking about it. And it is itself, the essenc","The sun is burning my retina... I can feel the heat. It is as if a fire were inside my retina. The light, that light that I have to see, that is my li","there is a bit of a feeling that the world is... is kind of a dream. It feels like a dream, as you're walking about and you don't quite know, you don'","I can see the pattern of a thought and the thoughts that follow. So the mind is made up of thoughts and so I'm a thought in a thought... I'm made of a","it was just like when you were a kid and you would get this feeling that you could just fall apart. And so, you were so light that you could float awa","it's like my whole being has been suspended in time, in this moment of quiet, of absence. The absence of space and time, so that my whole being is the","a great deal of information comes into our being, a great deal of things comes in the way of light, that light is information. It is in the very form ","a little of what we feel, what we are, and what we can become, we experience through this body, and there is the other side. And this body is what we ","and there's this whole idea of being in the present, being in the here and now, in the now, and I think we are all of us to some degree in the past, b","a whole, a whole, a space, a whole. Space and time. And in that space, time. In that space, a space within the space, a place within the place. A","what happens when a person dies, what happens to the body? Do the particles that make up the body go elsewhere? Are they still in the body? If the bod","the small child inside me, that I've never gotten out of, is looking at me with these big, beautiful eyes that are full of joy and innocence and the b","and I have a memory of the same thing happening and it is so powerful that I remember it with great clarity. And I remember that memory as a child, th","I see a tree, it's a pine tree, a white pine, I think, it's got this kind of like, I'm just looking at it, I see the trees and it's","the sounds of the trees in the forest, in the silence, and the silence in the sound of the trees. The sound of the earth, the sound of water, the soun","the thing I can remember, the first thing I remember is a piece of string. And I'm sure it's a piece of silk string. I don't know, maybe it's a cotton","I feel this vibration. There's a vibration in me, and then it spreads outwards. I feel this sensation like a current moving through me. It's like a wa","this is my little thing, I am in a state of alertness, like a mountain climber, looking over the cliff, there's a kind of ... this is the moment of aw","And that's exactly the way I've felt these last few days: like I'm a prisoner in my own body... It's not a body that feels like this but like a prison","and it's a little bit like a dream, isn't it, that you are in a dream? You know, you know that you're in a dream, but at the same time you're","I feel myself in this moment. It's a feeling. I don't know what to think about it. I'm not trying to analyze this. I don't even know whether I should ","It's like an old man...and I'm standing in a tunnel...a very long tunnel, and there's a very bright light, and then a very bright white light and a ve","I remember an old friend of mine, who was a master of hypnosis. When we were children, we would lie in the bed together, and she would lie with her ey","and I wonder if they are watching. I wonder if people are watching me right now and I can't hear them, but I can feel them... I see them in front of m","and then there was a boy in a cave in the forest, and the cave was really tall, and the boy was like a spirit or something, and I'm like his guardian.","a voice saying 'hello'. Hello? Hello who? hello, you. I am hello, I am you. I say hello, hello who are you? hello hello hello hello. hello hello hello","The sun is warm, it's 38 degrees, the sun is so warm, it feels like it is in my skin, it's so hot and I'm feeling really good. The sky","you know, it feels like my body has a separate life, and I'm sort of in it but it's like, it's like I'm a ghost or something. And like, if I","It feels like I'm trying to keep an eye on something, but the world around me is blurry. There's some kind of blue glow behind my eyes, like the whole","I have this idea...of a boat, and the boat has no walls or things that define the shape or the edges, it's just a wave of water, and the water is alwa","you can also take a piece of string and put it on the part of the tree, like the top of the tree. And it's a sort of thing, like an umbrella, so it's","all the things that we are seeing at the same time. So, if we are in a dark room, all the things we see at the same time, you know, if you have a ligh","I see a long thin rectangular prism... a rectangular prism, which is really an infinite amount of parallel rectangular prisms. I can imagine this pris","and it's like the line is so short, the line is almost invisible and you're almost on the other side of it already, it's just a matter of how long doe","just a few steps to the right, the wall turns into a smooth surface and I see a passage with a hole in the center. I see it as a tunnel that is gettin","this is the last time. So I can't move anymore. This is the last thing I can do, it's all on its own. I can't control anything. The whole world is goi","there are those things that we call memories that we don't actually remember, you know? Memories that are not there, but they feel like they're there.","And now it's time to get to sleep, and it's like this: I don't know if there is sleep. If you want to, you can go back and forth from wakefulness to","the entire field of thought is like this. It is so light, it is so soft. And it is so different. It is like a painting, and a painting is something ve","a woman, I think. She is saying something. I can't hear it. I'm close to her. I'm trying to hear what she's saying but I can't. It's hard","what are these waves?... what does this thing mean?... the sound of my heart. I can see it. It's not my heart, it's like an antenna, it's not my","And then they're going to make this thing that's going to be the opposite of this one, that's going to make it transparent. Then there's going to have","that's how it is when you are not paying attention... that's a real interesting idea... the fact that this is happening means that the whole thing is ","in my brain the image of a wave appears, that I call a wave of the mind. It's not a wave in the water, but a wave in my mind. It has no origin and","a blue star on the horizon. The horizon, it's like a place of rest. A point of rest. And it's not there, but I know where it is. And I can sense","and that's it. That's it. And what happens is this, this, this. And what do we do to that? What do we do? Oh! I don't know what I","what is this I am thinking... what am I thinking now? ...I can't see a clear distinction between what I am seeing now and what I am thinking. Is this ","I don't know where to start. I'm looking at a wall... I feel that it has depth. It is not an illusion. It seems to extend behind me, to be outside my ","and there was an old house with a large window in the middle of the floor, and there was a garden outside of that window, and there were flowers and t","the [spacetime] grid, the four-dimensional grid, ... the light, the four-directional grid, the light is the boundary of this grid, the boundary of a f","I am thinking about a bird, I am thinking of a bird. A bird. A hummingbird. I see a hummingbird. The hummingbird. What is that? The hummingbird is lik","[The] thing is, when I get really intense, really focused, I get to a point where there's only one thing going through my mind, and at that point my e","the problem is that you know, it is hard to have a thought, I mean I think. I think about a certain thing, I don't have the thought, I have the concep","I don't know, I don't know what I think about it... but I feel something about it. I think I've seen that before... in some way. I don't remember that","(Sigh) The ocean... (Sighs again) The ocean is a huge thing, it's huge, huge. I wonder, I wonder if I can understand the ocean, if it","I'm wondering what's the relationship between the mind and the brain and how can I represent it. How can I represent this process? If you say somethin","and I can do this, like in the middle of the night, I can take off. I can just, in my brain, I can just go off the edge of this universe. And then","I'm not going to be here, so that's a bad thing for you, and then I'm not here. It's like there's no body there, it's a body of memories.","what it might mean that we are connected to the earth and other bodies in the universe. Could I be an observer in a larger reality and my body be an i","and they're looking at this, and the whole thing is just like an expanse of white light, and it's like a colorless colorless color. And they're just m","The world is a black hole. A black hole of darkness. There's no light. No colour. It's just this black hole. And then it's a black hole of sound. A bl","itโ€™s a good place to be... thereโ€™s no pain... itโ€™s just so nice... [sound of birds chirping, birds singing] ... thereโ€™s a lightness... I feel light...","so I could see this, the world in front of me. And then I could go like this, into my head, and then I could just go like this. I could see the world ","that's like a butterfly, but it's not a butterfly, it's just like a little spark that comes in and goes out, and then it becomes a little spark. And t","so the idea was the same as when I was thinking about the three spheres. The three spheres, as I see it, are just a very simplified view of the four-d","and then a person is like, they're like, 'I'm thinking,' they're thinking and you're like 'Oh I'm thinking too', but then you're like, the thinking is","I am lying here, and my brain is completely quiet and calm and I can't help but notice how there are no thoughts. I'm actually noticing a lot of nothi","there's the... there's the idea of the... the idea of being and not being. What is being and what is not being and how are they related, and how do th","I wonder if the whole idea of the quantum process of consciousness could be a 'holographic' process of the brain. The idea is that the entire field of","the images are of some of the things that I'm seeing when I close my eyes and think about the space that I'm in, and the space that contains me. And t","and it's a bit of a struggle to have a very coherent thought, and so I think that's where the practice of mindfulness could help in that way. In terms","and I don't know whether that's what I have to do in order to solve the problem, or to understand the problem. I have to start out with a description ","I see the words: the word is a symbol, or a representation of a thing or an idea. I know that the word has two meanings: the meaning of the word, and ","I am listening to the sound of a leaf rustling in a tree. The sound of the leaf is not a sound. The leaf is a part of the tree. The leaf moves when it","and the things I say when I'm in a state of meditation are words that have nothing to do with the reality of things. And that's why I've been saying I","I'm remembering this memory, and then I'm remembering the memory of this memory. And I'm remembering how that memory was triggered by this sound. And ","I'm imagining a guy, a man, who is 50 years old, who is also thinking of his future, thinking of the future of his life. He has just been diagnosed wi","the truth of my existence. What is it? The truth of my own existence. And yet there is no truth, no truth, because there are no truths, only words, th","It's been a long time since I thought about my mother, since I was a kid, so the more I think about her, the more I feel the more intense the pain of ","the beautiful image of a young child, who has a beautiful image of his mother, who has this beautiful image of the mother in the child. In other words","the child was in front of me. And it was in front of all of us, not just in front of me, but in front of the family, in front of everybody, in front o","you can just talk to yourself, say whatever comes, you don't have to do anything, you don't need to do anything else. Just let things come out of you ","I'm seeing a black wall with white words, 'This is the end. I'm falling down a long long black tunnel and I can't see the end of the tunnel, the end o","I've seen a lot of different things. You know, there are so many levels of the universe. It's not like the world that I think you see outside, where e","And there is something in the brain that can make you remember a thing or a moment or a feeling, and this is the very thing that is the source of that","and I've had a feeling lately that, maybe, maybe my perception is a little bit distorted because I feel like I'm in a bubble, and I feel like the outs","this is a thing I know, this is a state, I'm aware that I'm aware of the state of being in this body, of being in a place. I'm aware I'm aware","I am watching the clouds. They are flowing in a direction that I don't understand. I'm not sure of the direction that they are moving in, I don't know","It's not that I can't do anything, it's that I don't want to do anything. I feel like I'm in a very passive position. And then I feel like this is a","and there was a kind of sense of a very subtle, almost like a feeling of an almost like an oscillation, almost like some kind of vibration. That was l","it's as if I'm inside, but it's a different part of me that's experiencing it. ... it's not the part of me where I feel that I am and I can see myself","the image of my body. My body and all the cells, and the thoughts that arise out of the cells. I have been talking to my body, my physical body, and t","[a] small part of it [is] something about how I'm in this state now, that I've been in this state before, I've been there before, but it's just not","[A] little bit of my thoughts are starting to be about this being in the body, being in a body. So it's really important to understand that these thou","and I wonder if we should have the ability to live a little bit differently when we have this, when we're not aware of this, when it's in a trance and","And then I've done a lot of things in my life that were sort of the right thing to do at the time. I've always felt like I was the best person for the","I'm wondering what is going on here, why my body is this way, why my brain is this way. What is happening at a cellular level? What is happening in my","I was a teenager, I was a kid and I was trying to learn about the world and about myself and the world was not so good and there were things I wanted ","and I feel the lightness, I feel the body, I feel all the lightness I am in the air, I feel that I can just float. I can just be in my body,","there was a picture of my sister and I standing in front of the Statue of Liberty. She was looking into this big, beautiful light and the light was li","the memory of you as a child, and of this beautiful moment we had, you are beautiful and you are strong and you're a great dancer and I'm going to sup","my brain is like an iceberg. I'm conscious of a little tiny tip of the iceberg and I don't know what the rest of it is. And I also don't know the reas","I think there is something that is very beautiful to me. Itโ€™s almost like Iโ€™ve seen it, and itโ€™s been in me, and I feel it, and Iโ€™m so aware of it","and that's how I'm seeing what I'm feeling and what I'm going through. I'm feeling the lightness. I'm seeing the lightness and that's just such an ama","my mother is now in her late seventies, and I was like her. When I was about 40, I became very interested in aging. So I began to read and study the t","my body is really really tight and it's all a reaction to something. I'm having a reaction to some memories of things I went through in the past. But ","I have some ideas, which I will express, which I think are very good ideas, but it's like I have to put them out into the world, into the air, in orde","I am in a state of calm and I'm in a state of tranquility. I can feel the earth underneath my feet and the sun in the sky, and I feel my body as my bo","I have an urge to think of a name for a dog. I am in a state of being. I am feeling calm. I feel this in a good way and this in a bad way.","I don't want to see myself, I don't like my eyes, they are a little too big, they are very large. They have a big pupil. I can see that the eyelids","I'm thinking about how I'm not thinking. It's like there's this background. I know that it's just because I'm not really thinking about something, but","my mind is empty, there's this sense of being with everything in the Universe... my sense of self and my body, and my mind, and my emotions, all the s","the heart is an organ. And I feel something in me when I think of my heart. I don't know what to say. It feels like a well of my being. My being. I","I don't think I'm ready to go. I have this fear that I will be the one to make a mistake. I've made mistakes before. I have made many mistakes in my l"],["and so I'm thinking, maybe I'm just...you know, I think maybe I'm not so interested in it, you know?...maybe I'm not, you know, maybe I am","the reason why I don't have any kids is because I'm afraid. I don't want to be alone. And if I did have children, it would be like I would have to be ","the mother died when I was young. She was the only one. I just miss her, you know, but I miss her even more than my father, because he was always arou","you know you don't want to tell me your thoughts. And I don't want to hear them. That's what I think. You don't want me to hear them because you don't","I know. I've thought about it before, and I couldn't find anything, except that I'm a bad person, I'm not that kind of person. ...I'm a good person,","and then I thought about how, when I was in high school, I had this friend who was going to be my best friend for the rest of my life, and he was just","and then the thought comes and it's just there and it's like a little spark. And that's why I really like to write. I like writing. Because when I'm w","and the boy in the movie. That's funny, because that's a boy I knew when I was little. But I don't think it was the same one. Anyway, that's a good","[I]t's so funny because I was having these dreams, you know, where I'm on a horse and it's running around, you know and then I'm chasing a guy who's","and I am walking by the library and I'm walking to the library, and I'm going to the library and the library is here on campus. And I think I just wal","It's been a long time since I've had any sort of deep, meaningful, passionate, romantic relationship with anyone. I don't know what it means to me to ","I've been having a lot of trouble at work. I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I've been trying to get better at it. I feel like I'm ","it's been a long time since I've had a good meal. I was thinking I should maybe plan a dinner tonight... I don't know. I'm tired of eating out all the","I'm getting married to my girlfriend on April 16th. My family's going to be there. My father's going to do the rings. We're having a reception at The ","you know, Iโ€™m just so proud of the fact that Iโ€™ve had this marriage, and itโ€™s been 5 years of marriage. I mean, I think weโ€™re great together. And I","I have so many plans. It's so frustrating. I keep thinking about it, I keep planning it. It's been a few weeks now. I'm going to start it now. I just","I think we're all just a little scared about the future, I mean, that's been the biggest thing that has me scared over the past few years, and I don't","[Worried about] my relationship. It's like I'm not sure if he's a bad guy. But he's been horrible, I mean. Like, I haven't even seen him","I'm not a great cook. I'm bad at it. It's not something I have any talent for, really. I have a pretty good idea of how to make food, but when I","I was thinking that I could take this to a friend of mine, to see if she would find it useful or interesting. She has been on this same journey of try","And that I have done in the past, but I haven't done it for a long time. So I'm gonna say that. And then, you know, we were talking about that, too","I feel like Iโ€™m becoming more and more aware of my own thoughts and the way they impact my emotions. Iโ€™m trying to be more mindful and present in my d","[My] main thing that's coming up for me today is just my body and my heart. And I feel like I've been sort of disconnected from my body for a while. I","[T]houghts come so quickly. They come in this stream of consciousness, and sometimes I'm just aware of them and sometimes they're more detailed and I ","I can't believe how hard I'm working right now... I'm working on writing and I'm working with my writing and I know that I've been so distracted by ev","I'm not even sure what the point of this is. What I would do is I would just start making lists of what I need to do. Just have a list and then get a ","the story of a time when I was really really angry, and it was a really hard thing for me to work through, because it was a feeling I didn't think I w","I'm thinking about the upcoming holiday season. There's this feeling that's been building up for a while now, the anticipation and excitement of spend","I have been in a lot of trouble in the past with the people who I loved and the people who were very close to me. And that was so hard because it felt","I'm not sure why I'm so focused on this, but I feel like it's really important right now. Maybe it's because I'm going through some changes in my life","I think I just finished reading a book about... about the history of... of, like, the modern era, the 20th century. And I'm just reflecting on, like, ","so we're still not like a little girl in the way that we're still like a little boy and we just sort of like have to navigate the world and it's a lit","the old lady next door, I don't really talk to her because she doesn't really talk. She's kind of just, like, I don't know, she's kind of a mom kind","and then I think about my sister, who is my best friend, and she's just so... I don't know, I have this like... I feel like my sister and my mom, you","And I got to see... My sister was in the hospital. I got to go in, but my mom was already there. She was in the ICU. I got to hold her hand, and","I can't believe they are actually taking over my life. It's not fair. It's hard to see this person I really like just turning into a person who doesn'","my daughter's going to have her baby soon, and I'm like, I just need to see her, and it's like, you know, I'm just like, I'm going to be","[I'm] looking for my phone. I just found it in my purse. Oh, my phone... it's got all my important numbers. I should back it up again. But, you","and I had the idea of just putting [the book] on my shelf and never reading it. I don't know if I would have done that or not because I did like that ","I have this picture in my head of a scene at the end of a movie. It's a romantic comedy and the main character is a woman who's in a relationship with","I want to go to sleep. I can't sleep right now, so I'll just go to sleep, so I can do the rest of this. So I'm gonna go to sleep and then","And so I'm going to have to be a little bit of a pessimist for a bit, but yeah. So yeah. So, I have been thinking about the future a lot lately. I","And I feel like my brain is a lot like a really hot pot of soup. And there are a lot of things going on right now, you know. There's a lot of, I'm","uh, i'm, i'm feeling, i'm really feeling, i feel like i need to work on being more present and less scattered. Uh, like, sometimes i feel like, uh,","And then I feel like I don't have a lot of energy today, so maybe I'll do some more things tomorrow. But I do have like a little energy to do this. An","okay so we're going to the lake with the dog on Saturday and I think I'm going to buy some of that ice cream and I'm going to get it right before we l","we're at the end of the year. I've got two years left. I just have to keep doing my best in each class. I don't know if I have the confidence or not.","I was having an issue where I was just trying to get a few extra reps in and it was taking me longer than it should have...so I took a break, and then","oh. Oh. What happened in the middle of that was the idea that you could see the way your mind works. So, that's the benefit of the meditation, is just","so this is what my thought was about, okay. So this is a very, very big project and we have to do this step by step. So we have a plan to have it in t","this is me doing some kind of thing, and Iโ€™m like, โ€˜well, what about a really good friendโ€™ and I think about all my good friends and like, I just try ","a lot of stuff that i know to be a lot of stuff I have to deal with every single day, it's like the last thing that comes into my mind, you know, you ","I remember thinking that you know there are some things that you can do, like for example when you have a big project that you know you have to do it ","I wonder if this is the time I could get into a fight. I wonder if there's like a time where I could just be like, 'Hey, what's up? Let's fight'","oh yeah, that's true. You can actually buy stuff here. There's like this like grocery store, you can order food and stuff from their like app and stuf","I've been feeling really anxious. Like I'm going to get sick, and I haven't had anything. I haven't gotten any sicknesses and stuff. I mean, I'm feeli","I'm having thoughts of maybe getting a haircut... like maybe get it shorter or something, and I'm like, 'I don't care, it's fine,' and I don't even re","and so then it's like you can't sleep... and that's, like, it's like... so then you're like, well, I'm just going to sit on a chair for a","the other one is... I mean like... I know my brain is going a thousand miles an hour right now, and I'm not really in control, you know, I'm just lett","there's this little piece of my brain, my little brain, that's just like a superhuman, like a little like like superhuman. Like when I was really real","this is a guy that's not very good at multitasking. So he'll have one conversation, then he'll have another conversation. He's not really like the bes","[sigh] I'm really getting bored with the same things all the time. Like the same jokes or the same memes, like I was talking to the same person and I'","I'm talking about a time when I was doing a project for a class and my professor was like, 'oh, you're doing this? Okay, it's fine. You can do it like","I'm going to start by saying 'I want to go to a beach in Hawaii'... I think I'm gonna go to a different island, and I want to see a volcano. I want","so I think I should just look at the idea of putting some sort of like a, like an image on the back, on the back of my shirt so that, yeah, you know, ","my family is back in the US now, so they're all okay. That's good to see. I remember when my parents were traveling back and forth from the US, I was ","[I have] a dog. The dog is a lot bigger. And the dog has a lot of energy. I'm not sure what he does with his energy, but I think he likes to","thereโ€™s just like, I feel like I just... I was like, okay, Iโ€™ll try to stay calm, but then like, I just got really overwhelmed with the thought that I","so I've never really talked about my boyfriend in a public setting, so I'm not really good at it. But I've been thinking about asking him to the prom ","I have a lot of these people that I've worked with. They don't have a lot to say at the beginning of our sessions and I always encourage them to keep ","it was like I was thinking about the pandemic and then I realized that I was trying to do that too. I thought, 'Oh, okay. I'm going to go for a walk.'","and like, and yeah, I'm thinking about my friend who's like going through this, and I'm trying to think like, how can I be like supportive to her and ","And you think you're like, super amazing, right? But then, you know, like, the reality is, you're just like, trying to be like, you know what, like,","I can see this, uh, this is like uh, you know, I think I've been listening to, like, this song, this one, um, and like, I'm thinking,","uh so like the idea that uh you know like there are people that you're you know that you're just like a great friend and then like there's like people","I think I'm going to try to eat a bit more, like the thing that I was like, I don't know if it's my personality or if it's something like, I'm just","my hand is literally being dragged by a stick thing. It's not a rope. It's a stick thing. And it's like my hand is literally just being pulled by it l","I feel like I'm at this conference where people are all doing this. And I'm like 'Okay, I'm going to go.' But I'm also thinking about all the other pe","I just made it up out of thin air, but I'm also in a new city where I haven't made friends yet so that's kind of bittersweet. So I'm kind of sad","oh, yeah. i'm not supposed to be doing this right now because i'm on the clock. but i'm just gonna do it anyway, because it's so cool. it's so funny","I feel like a character from a story. I'm like this character who is being in the forest and there's a monster and then there's a weird thing where th","I can't take it anymore. I'm done with all of this. I need a break. I need to take a step back. I need to reset. I need to just...leave.","I know there is something that I should do that will make a difference, but I'm too scared. I just feel like, I don't know, like I'm in a hole. I don","I have a bad feeling about this. I don't like where I'm going. I donโ€™t want to do this. I am having a panic attack. I'm feeling my chest and stomach a","you're an idiot for even thinking you could do anything...I'm not gonna make you go through this again, but this is why I love you...I think it's so n","the thing is, i know how to be in the moment, i can do that... but the thing is, when i get into this, i can't do that... and that's the problem","I'm sitting on my couch, and I'm trying to relax, and I have an itch on my foot, and it's so weird that I don't even want to feel it, but I","you have a problem with this right now? Is this a problem? Because it's really good. This is something that I have never thought about before. I feel ","it's like this, there's this thing I want to do and I keep telling myself, I should probably get out of this mess, I should actually go do something, ","and then he says, โ€˜heyโ€™ and heโ€™s like, โ€˜i got the ideaโ€™ and then iโ€™m like, โ€˜yeah, i had the same ideaโ€™ and he says, like,","I donโ€™t want to go on to the next one, itโ€™s too much, but I really want to do it... I canโ€™t believe that Iโ€™m going to do this... I think it","I was in the shower when I heard the news. I heard on the news that this man was like this because he was going to have a baby. And I was like 'okay' ","I want to do well, so I don't want to get into trouble. I don't think I want to go to college, but I want to do okay for myself. I don't like","itโ€™s funny Iโ€™m looking forward to this...this...this...the end of the world...I think Iโ€™m gonna be happy...if they didnโ€™t have to like...if they didnโ€™","I feel like my life is just a long list of failed attempts, you know, like I keep trying to do things, but nothing really works out for me, so itโ€™s li","and Iโ€™m just really sorry for my friend because he just lost his brother. And then itโ€™s just like, Iโ€™m like, I donโ€™t even have the right to be upset b","it's not as hard as i thought it would be. it's not the worst thing that's happened to me in a while. like, it's not like a nightmare or anything. lik","[I]t was a really nice feeling. But it was like I couldn't think about it because then it was like, why am I doing this? Like I was thinking like it w","I'm just thinking about my son, you know, like, he's not here right now, but he'll be here soon, but you know, it's not gonna be like, it's","[I]tโ€™s not really like I can do it on my own. Iโ€™m really like a mom right now, so like, I have to do it by myself. [But I]","the thought process, the thoughts, and it's not just what's in your head, but what you think, how you think about things. It's about how you process y","I'm gonna get my stuff out of the car. Like, I'm gonna go get my bag, and then I'm going to leave the car here, because it's not really a good idea","I want to go to the gym... I have a workout tomorrow... I'm trying to get in shape... I've been really busy... and I just want to get back on track...","I feel really happy and I'm excited for this session. I'm hoping we can have fun. I'm not really sure what to expect. I have to tell my therapist abou","and I'm thinking about the time that I was, like, doing a lot of reading on like the whole like, just, like, it's like, I was really, like, getting in","I think about that one time that I had the job interview for this other job and I was just thinking about how nervous I was and how I was just trying ","and you know, I don't really know how to write a paper so, I'm, I don't, I don't know how to, how to, you know, how to write like","I'm gonna get up. I'm gonna try and go to the gym tomorrow. But it's really hard. I mean I got really bad back pain in my lower back. But I'm just","like some kind of drug, like some kind of like some kind of weird drug, I just like you know I'm I'm just like, I don't know like I'm just, I don","and i have a big family and they're always like, what you doing? and i'm just like, well, i'm just, i'm on vacation and i'm relaxing. So, i","it's like when I'm in a meeting with my mom. She's like, 'do you wanna hang?' like, 'hang what?' and like, 'you know like hang out?' like","I am wearing a dress. It's kind of loose. It's like a lotus leaf. It's just kind of... it's just like... it's like a, I'm just like","I feel so anxious and nervous for our meeting. Like I need to make it through it. Itโ€™s kind of weird because I canโ€™t stop thinking about how much I wa","I think I'll get a shower. I think I'm tired. I'm feeling a bit woozy, and I just want to chill out. Like a little nap. Just for a bit.","the other one is a little weird but also kinda nice and i'll i'm going to go into the bathroom and wash my face. And I don't know what I'm gonna do ri","I'm wearing a white top and jeans, like a 16 year old...and it's super cold outside and i'm like...ugh, i'm freezing. I'm just wearing like a","like a bird that's not sure if it's gonna fly or if it's not sure how to fly or if it's just not ready to fly yet. So it just stands there, flapping","there's a movie you're watching in your mind. And then you're like, okay, now you have to move, but then it's like, oh, okay, let's try that,","I'm just gonna have some milk... uh oh... I'm having this... it's like I'm on a roller coaster or something... like when you're just like... in a tran","I think that, you know, when I think about it, it's like this. You know, it's just like, this is, this is like this, right? You know, this","I'm gonna make a hot cup of tea, put some mint in it, and I'll go for a walk outside... but it's gonna be dark in a while, so maybe just a short","I can hear the rain. It's raining outside. I'm sitting here in the dark. I can see the glow of the moon and it's really bright. I feel like I'm gettin","my foot is a foot. This is my foot. I'm on the floor. I'm feeling the floor. There's a floor. There are tiles on the floor, I can see the tiles","so I'm doing a think aloud, right? So I'm just talking to you as my thoughts come through. Like if I'm thinking about something or I see something in ","I have some thoughts about my life and I'm trying to find my own path. I think about how to move forward and make decisions that I feel comfortable wi","I think weโ€™re in a time where everythingโ€™s being outsourced to the cloud or to external services. And Iโ€™m wondering how much of that is because itโ€™s m","what's in your mind right now? I'm thinking about my work schedule and trying to figure out how I can fit in some extra time for my project, so I'm lo","I'm in a meeting right now, and I'm going to share some of the things that I'm thinking about as I'm in the meeting. So I'm in a team meeting, and I","I was thinking about some of the things I've been writing. And it's like, I'm trying to figure out how to make it more engaging, more interactive. Lik","I have a couple of books on my shelf that I've been thinking about reading. One is called 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu, and the other is 'Thinking, Fas","It's not that I've had a bad day, it's not that it's a bad day at all. It's just that there are a lot of things that are coming up, and there","so it's just the most bizarre, but it's also just kind of, it's a fascinating look at our own, like, thought processes, because I've never really thou","[T]he most common one was probably just like, 'I really miss my old job. I really miss my colleagues. I really feel like I've kind of lost my sense of","I'm feeling like I should be more organized and efficient. Like I should be using my time better and I don't think I'm doing that as well as I could b","I'm thinking about that meeting we had last week, and I feel like I should follow up with the team to see how they're doing and to ask if there's anyt","I've just been talking to my husband, and I've been feeling this strange sense of anxiety or nervousness, or maybe just a general feeling of unease. A","and the day after that, and I remember it being, like, really good. It was a really fun day and just kind of like a fun, like a fun weekend, so it was","we had a great time with it and I'm so excited to do more of that and we're just going to go ahead and move on to the next session and I think I have ","So I'm in a place where I'm kind of getting the lay of the land, I know a few of the people that I'm going to be around, I'm just going to be like","I can't really get the word I want out. I can't... I don't feel like I want to say anything specific. I mean, it's not like there's something I need t","and I am having a lot of fun here. I think I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm having a good time, so I hope it goes well. I'm going to have a","I'm like the only person that has ever been there. I have a sense of like a very strong presence that's been there. Like I can sense it, like I have a","[a]t this moment in the recording, I've been feeling a sense of anticipation and excitement around a project I'm working on. It's the culmination of a","I have been feeling like I have been trapped in a mental state of just thinking, just thinking. It's almost like a loop of thoughts and it's really ha","I don't know, I just want to make it through this day and get on with it and go to sleep. But, it's been a stressful week, I'm tired. I just feel","okay, so we've got these little birds in the trees and they're flapping their wings, they're almost like they're almost... like they're almost flying,","Iโ€™m really excited about going to the lake. Itโ€™s like a whole new adventure for me. I feel really connected to nature and I love it. The lake is just ","what am I feeling now? I feel calm and relaxed, just here, present, enjoying the moment. My mind is quiet and my thoughts are minimal. I'm feeling con","I wonder if people are trying to figure out how I'm doing, and if they're trying to understand or try to help me, or if I'm doing something wrong. I w","[a]nd it's not even like, I'm not even like this is my default setting like I'm just here, just kind of in my thoughts or something. It's not like I","I don't want to think about it. I don't wanna think about it at all. I'm so tired. I'm really tired. I need to sleep. I'm going to bed.","it's like when you have a weird dream and you don't remember it and you don't know it's a dream but your brain is like trying to make sense of it. And","it's like I'm thinking about everything at the same time and like trying to decide what I want to think about. I feel like I'm being bombarded with so","it's hard to get comfortable, but I don't know, I'm really good at not sleeping, I'm like I don't have this like I donโ€™t know like I donโ€™t have to","and I am thinking about this woman who's got this face of this is like a...this is the way I'm saying this in my head... like a little baby face, and ","my eyes are closed and my eyes are open. I'm a little confused. I'm really tired. I've been looking for my phone. I'm having a hard time. I'm like rea","yeah, I have no idea how long it's been. Probably around five years or so. And I don't think I really like the idea of doing this thing. I don't even ","I've got to go back and check my email. I'm just in the middle of this, but I've got like four emails, I've gotta check it, like I'm trying to remembe","I'm having a hard time getting to sleep, but I'm going to try and sleep anyway because it's 2am and it's getting late. I just had a big breakfast so t","I think I have like a migraine, like a headache. And it's like, I'm trying to fall asleep, but like I can't because like my headache is really bad. An","and now I'm thinking about how I should go about making this salad. Like, what should I use for the base, like, I can make it with just lettuce, I can","(thinking out loud) I've been having a lot of anxiety about work today. I feel like I'm constantly stressed out and overwhelmed. (pauses) I'm also rea","And I'm feeling like a... I don't know, a... Like I'm feeling... I don't have the words for it, but I feel like I'm... I feel like something's","[I] have the same thought. It's just so random. [I] was thinking about going to the beach. It was like I wanted to do that for a long time and then I","I need to do my job and... I'm gonna get back to the gym. I don't have too much energy. I'm just sitting here, staring at the ceiling. And then I hear","the scene at the end of the movie where... [a character] kisses... [another character], and then they fall into the water. And... he's like, 'I can't ","I have a lot of thoughts. Like I'm going to see my friend... I think I'm going to call him or something. And then I think about that movie, like the o","I don't know what to do. I'm so tired. I have this feeling that I'm going to fall asleep right now, but I won't. I'm trying to stay awake. I","it's a question of being able to play with these things a little bit, and then it's just like you're like a kid who's trying to draw something but the","it's so funny that you can actually imagine... like a new version of the song, it's just... you know like the video, it's a lot of you and your friend","[00:12:34] I think I'm going to try this song, 'I don't need anybody.' It's by Sam Hunt. It's a really catchy song,","I'm gonna be back in about 5 minutes. I'm gonna be there for about 40 minutes. I'm in the middle of a song, 'cause I'm on YouTube, and","we're just gonna watch a movie or something. We'll be okay. Okay? We're gonna watch a movie. Okay? Yeah. No. We'll just watch the movie. Okay. Like","this is one of the things I'm trying to do, is I'm trying to figure out... I don't know, I'm trying... I'm trying. And I'm trying, I'm","And then I'm like, like, like. It's like I don't even know if I'm talking to you, I just. Like. So much to say, but I'm trying to","so it's like I have a really bad day and I just want to go to the gym and do some exercise and it's like it's a good day and then it's a bad day and","so, the fact that I didn't wake up, you know, just like that, like I did last time, like I just woke up like, literally, like, from a dream or somethi","I'm making a playlist for the trip I'm about to take with my sister. The first song is 'Good For You' by K-pop. Then 'A Little Party' by K-pop,","so I guess I could have started on the other end and ended up here, and Iโ€™m just doing the middle and thatโ€™s what I thought of as I was doing this vid","what do you think I need to do today to make things better, like get more done, or just be more efficient? Maybe I need to...I mean, it's like, what I","and I want to go to work because it's so hot out and I feel like I could just go to work and I don't have to deal with the traffic and I feel like the","I think the guy who wrote the book was a writer like that. He was like me. He was always writing. He was just writing every day. He's like that. I thi","I think, I don't know, I feel like I'm a bit of a mess. It's been, I just, it's been, it's just been like, I don't,","like I said before, it's like I'm getting a lot of thoughts on my mind because it's like a really bad thing, and like a lot of people have been talkin","And I guess I could maybe get that, that's kind of an idea I'm having, so I might actually get a little bit of extra money if I got the job at the res","and I have some ideas about a new idea I've been working on. I'm actually starting to get some momentum with it. So it's a new way of doing a job I do","And Iโ€™m like, oh, Iโ€™ll just go to the beach and maybe see if thereโ€™s anything new or anything. Or you know, you know what? I mean, Iโ€™m just going","I don't know what I'm doing right now. I don't know why I'm here. I don't think I'm supposed to be doing anything right now. Not sure how long I'll","it's a little bit like when you're like on a run or something and you're just like really focusing on one thing and it's like you're like looking down","I was sitting at my desk, and I was writing a lot of things. I was thinking, like, oh man, I need to start working on this report, because this is kin","I'm not sure how that would work out in a real-world situation, but I think it would be neat if you could just set the timer and then let your mind wa","I was looking for some words that would work to describe what was going on. I'm looking for words that would just capture the essence of the feeling o","And I had a moment where I was like, 'Wow, this is what the algorithm's trying to do, it's trying to predict what I'm going to type next.' So I'm like","so what I was thinking about was I was just thinking about like the different versions of this that I had seen people talk about or maybe the way I wa","so I have a little bit of anxiety about, you know, kind of like, like what do you call it like? You know, how do you know what to do with all these th","and then we were like, ok, like, now, now, like, what, what is the best way to like, make it, like, more efficient, like, or make it like","and then he's like, and you're like, I'm not like this, right? And I'm like, okay, I don't want to get into this, but I'll just say","I think if you really do have to take a break for a couple of days, yeah I'm like, it's just a few days I'm like okay that's fine I'll take a couple","it's like an endless stream of ideas or thoughts or whatever you want to call it. It's kind of like when you're walking down the street or doing somet","and like, I guess I just always want to have more things. I don't know, like I have like 800 t-shirts. I'm like, I don't think I need","I don't know, I think it's a thing where like, I would go to like, an old person and just like, I think, I'd talk to like a 90 year","I'm trying to think of some random things. Like, like, what are some like things I like to do for fun? I mean I don't like to watch Netflix all the ti","so I was like I was looking at like, what I want to do. So, I was like, I want to look at like, I mean, it's a hobby, but it's","I mean, I don't know how to put it. I have to just think about what is going on in my brain. It's like, it's like, you know, like, like","I want to, like, do this, like, I don't know if I've, like, thought about it yet. I, I want to do, like, a podcast, where I","and I have to have a break from like... from... you know... a little bit of like, I don't know, a little bit, like... like I have to like, like I","what if i could just stop? and be like i'll take a break like i don't have to do anything and then do it later, or like i don't do it today and just b","so I think I have like, I don't know if it's like a computer or what? But like, like I think it's like, I don't think it's an actual computer but","I think I have the most fun doing these, like... because it's just like... like... like a stream of consciousness and you know, I've never really... l","I feel like there's a little part of my brain that's not working all the time. Sometimes it's like, it's not like my brain is a computer. I like to sa","like I said, I got a lot of stress for work. It's like, I got to keep like, like, like a like a calendar thing or like, like my like a like to","I'm thinking about... like I had to go... I was like... I didn't know where to go so I was like, okay, well, what do I do, I gotta make sure","okay, so i i have a lot of questions about my relationship with my wife and how to like, you know, how to make it better and what she's going through ","Iโ€™m like a mess, I donโ€™t know, I don't have a job, I don't really like my job, Iโ€™m doing a masterโ€™s, itโ€™s like, itโ€™s not","I've been working on the side of making the website that I was hired to build. That's a thing that I have been doing. That's been the main thing for t","we're not going to get paid. We're just doing it as an intern program. If we get any press, it would be on our own terms. We don't have a PR agency ye","I'm reading about it right now. It's in the news. There's a lot of people that are saying, 'Oh, this is so good. They're bringing back the good old da","you know that in this economy it's really, really tough, especially for people that have been laid off or that are looking for work, because the unemp","the other thing is when I'm at the gym. Like I go there, it's like they're always like, 'hey, what's your plan for this week?' and it's like,","I don't know, like, how do you even have your own goals? I mean, I don't know like, what my goals are, but I don't even know like, how to","[s]ometimes I go out and just do it. I've got a [schedule] that I follow, and I stick to that, and that's fine. I mean, I'm not","okay. So this is like a game you play with friends or family. And it's about trying to come up with as many different uses for one object as possible.","I feel like I'm in the middle of a long story right now, so I'll be more specific with that. So I've been in the middle, the middle of an idea I wante","like if I am at a store and I'm just walking through the store and it's not my own store, I'm just like, 'this is just some random store that I am jus","I'm trying to get a job. I think I need to change jobs. I'm not really happy with the current position. I'm thinking about looking for another job. I ","I was in New York for like a week. I think I had like three days of like being with like a friend and like a partner or like a couple of friends that ","I was thinking that I would like to have a hobby that is more low-maintenance, where I can do something on my own without relying on other people. May","I'm trying to get some exercise in, like a quick walk or something. I might go to the gym for a class, maybe something like that. Or if I have time, m","I'll go and do laundry tomorrow, but it'll be really hard to get everything done, and I'll have to do it all at once. Maybe I can split it into two da","uh-huh um I have to finish that video uh-huh uh I haven't started the uh video project for my uh um project for my class I have to do it for my uh eng","I'm just like a dog that's been put on a leash for the first time in my life and I'm just... I can't really tell you how I'm feeling. It's like it","it's like a snake, but with no teeth or tongue, and it just like a snake in the water, it's moving back and forth. It's just like it's like it's just","I don't think I've ever had a real bad panic attack. Like I get butterflies in my stomach, but it doesn't make me feel like I'm dying or something. An","there's a feeling of peace and I want to hold onto it, but I think it's only going to last a couple of days. I need to find something that's gonna be ","[I was thinking of] [01:04.8] [a] [01:11.5] [funny] [01:21.4]","[pause] I was thinking about the...[pause] uh...[pause]. Uh...[pause]...[pause], uh, [pause]. I don't know, I don't want","yeah, I think it would be more of a bad experience than a good experience if you just kind of got into it, you know, and if itโ€™s a one-off thing, youโ€™","uh, uh, uh what if you were like you know like in like, uh, you know, like like a game you know, uh you're like you know, a player, like you","my mom was just talking about how my mom always used to talk to me about like a year ago she was like oh she's like oh like you can be a computer engi","yeah, i'm gonna need like an extra charger for like the camera, like it's like two and a half hours. And that's like if i just walk around like and sh","I've always wanted a dog... I was like, okay, I got a dog, but I don't know if I could really take care of it... I don't like dogs, but I","like i'm i'm watching a movie but like it's not like it's real but i'm not really watching it like i'm like you know i'm kind of like watching it but ","and that's all I got for now. I'll be right back. I'll come back in a couple of hours and see how it feels. I think it might be better if I do it","and then I'm like, okay, you know what, it's not gonna be like, that's like a full day, right? Yeah, I'll just, it'll just be like,","you know what i was thinking about, like, you know, like the other day, i was like, oh my god, like i was like a whole bunch of like i was just like,","i'm gonna tell you that i'm so glad that you are here, that i'm here i'm glad that you're here, you know. So i'm gonna just, i'm gonna be","I was just thinking about my... my... what's that? Like, yeah. I was thinking about my own experience of being in this kind of state, but now that I'm","you know you're talking to someone who is an expert in this area right? Because I don't I don't really know much about it but you know I've heard of t","yeah so I'm thinking like I was gonna do this, and I was like no no I'm not going to do that like I'm gonna like I'm trying to get to sleep like and l","I'm thinking about how it is that I have these little pockets of time where I'm just like, oh, I just have to do this, right, like it's the only thing","and it was a bunch of things, but it was kind of the feeling that I don't really want to go to the doctor, but like I think I should go and just have ","I have a dream of...what it would look like to go back in time and be like...a kid. I think my kid...I can see it right now. I'm sitting at a","[I think about] a lot of different things. One of those things is just me. Like, what I'm doing, what I was doing before this, like, what I might do i","I guess that was the problem, was that it was so small. But it's funny. When I was little, I thought the world was really big, you know, and I didn't ","I donโ€™t think I really wanted to get in trouble in high school, I didnโ€™t want to do drugs, I didnโ€™t do drugs. I didnโ€™t really want to get into trouble","it was a bad night. I was having a really hard time sleeping and my stomach was hurting and I was just thinking and then I had this weird thought. Lik","And then I'm like, it's like the perfect moment. It's like, oh yeah, this is the right moment to do this. Then I'll be like, it is perfect. I","I have been thinking about this a lot. Like, in the morning when I wake up, like, my first thought is about my friend, like, who's like, it's been lik","yeah I feel like I could really make a lot of money from this. And I also feel like I would have to do something and I would have to actually be super","so i'm gonna do this for like a whole year, and I just like, I have a lot of like personal growth stuff going on and and I just want to see how it pla","And I feel a little bit like I'm in this dark space, like I can't breathe and it's hard, and I have this really strong fear that I'm gonna die or that","I'm in bed. I'm going to go to sleep. I'm gonna look at the time. I'm trying to decide. Do I wanna sleep or do I wanna stay up? I think","and we can do it by using a different type of camera. Yeah. And the camera itself. And then you just need to move the camera around in the environment","there was some kind of light that was coming from a lamp that's like a green light that's going to be coming down on my hand like it's gonna be in the","what about if I made it an event where you have a super powerful computer that you can just draw and then the computer will figure out all the pixels ","you're so young you think you're going to make it in the world but in reality it's just like, you're just a little fish in a big ocean. Like, you just","yeah... so, like I... I guess I just, I just want to, like, put all the words down, like in my... my computer, and then... and then, and then","a big fat zero is a big fat one... I can't imagine a zero, so it must be a one. I think I might be a one, so I might be... I don't","I'm going to the store, and I'm going to buy some bananas, and I think I need to buy some bread as well. It's been a while since I've had bread. And","the word 't' that was a long time ago... the word 'cat'... I want to look up 'cat' in a dictionary. I will look up 'CAT' in a the","I am having a dream... oh, I can't do it. I don't remember it. I can't remember what it is. I just remember the feeling. It feels like... I'm","it's so hot today and I feel like I need to go to sleep because it's been a long day and I have a big meeting tomorrow but I need to work on this proj","the idea of 'you know' in a sentence. That's something that, you know, it's just, that's just like, it's like a filler word or, or it's like","oh my god i'm so bad at math because i feel like i don't know what i'm doing but like i don't feel bad at like math like i feel bad at math but i don","and I don't know, I don't really know what to say, I don't even really know if I have anything to say. I guess it's like that moment when you're in th","And I just think it's really cool that this is the first time that I've ever done this, like I've been meaning to do it for like months but just didn'","i can't believe it, i can't believe my brain is actually doing this... but i'm kind of excited about it because it feels like a little bit like i'm di","the one time I did something like this, like I was thinking about like a random thought or whatever and it was like something kind of crazy, it was li","I think if I was really going to think of all the ways I could...get into the same room as that girl, I might just...actually...not go to the bar. I d","i'm going to have to come back to this later because it feels like i'm not thinking straight. like, i've just come from talking to someone on the phon","[mumbling]... [voice breaking]... [mumbling]...[voice breaking] [voice breaking again] [mumbling, voice breaking]...[mumbling, breaks into crying]","I can't get a good grasp on where I'm going with this thought. I'm gonna get stuck here. It's a lot of these little thoughts. I have to figure out wha","we are at the moment, and the thing about that is that itโ€™s, itโ€™s just like, you know, you can kind of imagine if you could put a time stamp on the li","and that is going to happen. So if you're on the couch and you're doing something, I'm thinking of you in a pool. That's an idea I have right now, or ","my brain is working. And I can see it on the screen. The left side is usually a lot more active than the right side, but it's just as active here. The","I think I'm a weirdo, you know, because I'm just like... I just randomly thought I was a weirdo for a second. I guess I'm a bit of an introvert","[Iโ€™m] trying to be mindful about the present moment and my body, Iโ€™m trying to be aware of my breath and my body moving... and then I feel like Iโ€™m a ","And it's like it's like a wave. So like an image of a wave, and I'm on a wave. And like my arms are kind of like swaying and I'm floating up","this is interesting because it's like you're using your brain as a calculator. Like if I thought of like a number and then I added some more numbers t","this is a face from a person I was watching on a bus...I'm just...I can't remember her name...her name is like a song...this is a song...it's like","the sky looks like a big cloud. The earth is a sphere and it's also a cloud, too. I'm floating in space. It's getting lighter and lighter, it's gettin","you see the dots in front of your eyes like the sky or the sand but the sky is changing or the sand is changing you see the dot and you feel the dot a","I've never met you but we know each other. You are the center of my universe, the universe is you. I want you to be happy and I'm happy because you're","and then I can see it, the light in the clouds, it's the light of the universe, but the universe is invisible to me. And I'm inside it, in the middle.","I know it is only an image, but I can feel my hand on the skin of the tree. It is a very small tree, and I know there are many trees like that one all","the world of darkness... a star in a black sea of infinite space... I am the star... I am surrounded by a glowing sphere of light. The sphere is a tho","and it came out as an image. It was as if the image was in a picture. I don't know how to explain it, but it was as if it was a picture of a picture","I was once the whole world. I have had all things. I have all things. Nothing is lost to me. I am the sun of all. The sun of all is me. The sun","I feel as if I am sinking into a deep sea of darkness. It's cold and damp. It's empty, vast and infinite, and I am floating, very far away, and far ab","a white wall...a white wall, a white wall...in the darkness, I see the white wall... I see the light on the wall, I see it's a wall... I hear the","I was once very hungry, and I was sitting in a cave, and I wanted food, and I thought to myself: 'What could I eat?'... I saw a red light in the darkn","I have an image of a bird, of a bird flying, a small bird, a tiny bird. The bird is moving, it is like a tiny little black dot, a black dot in the","the same word, but it has many different meanings. Some of them have a direct, almost visible relation to the others. There is no relation between the","the hair is coming out of the head. The head is becoming transparent. The hair is becoming transparent... it is transparent and invisible... the hair ","a kind of cloud. Clouds are floating, they move. ... [Sigh.] ... The idea that you have to push your hand against the air, that's why it's cold. ...","and you think I am not beautiful, and you have been dreaming that I have died and you have not been able to die with me... and you say that I am a dem","now I am aware of a certain feeling of well-being and of peace of mind and I am aware that I am surrounded by this feeling of peace, by this feeling w","I was thinking, I'm sitting in front of the door. There's no room here. I am the door. I am an endless door. I open to nothing, to a void. It","the strange feeling in my breast, and I have to look down, and my mind is being pulled away from me, and I can't seem to reach it, and it is passing a","that's it, I've seen it now. It's not there anymore. It's here. I have seen it now, I have seen the way out. I know that way and I shall","I feel so far away, so far away from you, so far, far away. I'm far away, I'm far from you, far from you and I am close, I am close","I can see him. I can feel him. I have his eyes. I am his eyes. He is in me. I am in him. I know where he is. I feel his eyes","I am writing this with my eyes closed, so I don't know what I am seeing or where I am, but I am looking around at a room and I see a lot of black and ","It's my fingers which have been taken from me. I've been left with just my fingers, and nothing more. I want to go out. I want to escape. I want to be","it is not possible for me to speak without imagining what I speak of, without touching the objects with my imagination; so that when I say 'love' I al","you are the master of this life, you are the creator, you are. And in this way we can see all the worlds. Because they are created by you, so you are ","now, what is this, what is it, what is the purpose of this? What is this? What was it? What is it? It is that it is, it is the act,","And suddenly the consciousness of the entire universe is being aware of its own existence; but in this awareness the universe is not yet complete: the","[It is] like I'm looking at the sun. I am not looking at the light. I'm looking into the light and there's a form inside the light, that's where I am","a single, small, dark object was standing in front of me...I was standing in the middle of a vast, empty space. Everything was as it is when we have n","I am looking for a word. A word for... the world. The world as one word. A single word, that would contain all things in it, and would be in all thing","... the stars... ... the stars. And... ... and the sky and the earth and the earth... ... and they move and the stars move. And... ... the earth moves","I have to say something about my mind. It's really a vast expanse. In my mind I have created a landscape which is very different from the world as it ","I am writing. This is not a thing, but it is a thing. This is a writing of something that is. There is writing within everything. Everything is writin","I see the image of a great oak tree, and a great pine tree. And I see that the oak and the pine are intertwined with each other and are one. And I am ","you are the whole of the universe... there is no difference between the universe and you. ... You are the universe... you are the sun... the moon... t","it's like we are all falling in love and dying. The world is exploding into the sea, and I am swimming to the edge of the world to fall into it. It's ","I see a tunnel in the sky, and I'm running down it, and it's the beginning of everything, and everything that is in front of me is a tunnel in front o","there are many things that are unspoken, that are never said. There are many things, many things that do not speak at all. There are things that do no","[there is] a dream, or a memory that comes, or an image. That comes through the heart, and then comes through the ears, and then goes to the mind and ","it's not like you know where you're going. The whole world is an endless night. Everything is black. Black is not nothing, it's full of everything tha","I'm going to start to move now. I'm going to move in space, and then I'm going to go on and then I'll go on, and then and then I will move,","And I'm on a very high road... The road goes up and up and up... and up and down... I'm going to see the light. And then I'm going down. I'm","And then I'm looking around and there's a guy on the roof of a building with a rifle. And he's aiming down towards me and he's saying 'I'm looking for","it's the way we have to be, that's the only way. The only way is to be able to see the way to the top. It's a line, like a road. The","and now I'm thinking of a story I used to tell, the one where the little boy comes home from school and he's a little bit wet and the little girl, she","and the bird sings, and the bird sings ... and it says, 'Honey, honey, honey, I love you,' and then the bird sings 'Honey, Honey, Honey, I","we've got to find a way out. We've got to be clever, clever. If we could just find a way to get through the wall, the wall that separates this world a","I've got to go see him again, and see his mother. I want to say something to her, something very, very bad, but I won't be able to. He's the last","And you can't make a man a man, but a man can make a man into a man. And then he goes. And he goes and he goes. I know what you're thinking.","And this was the other day, as I was telling you, and I was walking through the woods, and I didn't know which way to go, and I got down on my hands a","and that's it, that's the whole story! He didn't have a gun at the end, he just killed it! He didn't want to kill anyone, he didn't want them to","and then he took his hand off the ring and put his hand up and said, 'I will not let you have it, I will not let anybody have it' and the men all back","that I've known you and everything, and that you were a great person, and that I love you, and that my sister is going to be your wife, and that's all","and she was going to find out... what it was about. The meaning of this thing... and so it was a form of justice, a form of... well, she thought it wa","I'd like to point out something to you. In this context, I don't really care about anything, I'm here for me. But it's a very dangerous place, and it'","we are like people, and people are like us. I am not a man, but a man is not a god. So in truth I am not different from you. You are like me and","You are free and you know it. The way you are, the way you are being, it is the way it is and that is the way that you are free. You are free, as","[I]magine that there is a God. A God that is all-powerful. All-knowing. All-good. All-pure. All-magical. All-beautiful. All","this is the only place that it exists, only here. And it will never be destroyed and will never be created again. It's a place for thought. You don't ","and then there will come a time that there won't be a place where I'm not. ... The time will come where I will be everywhere in my whole body, in the ","and I will never stop loving you, and I will be your best friend and I will keep you company until I find you, and when I find you I will never let yo","but I don't think I have to answer, that's for you to decide. The thing I don't understand is how I can be here and you not be there. That's not fair,","and I am not the only one that is a little afraid of it. It is my lot to be afraid of what is. I am not afraid of the future, I do not know the future","I've been thinking about you, I've been wanting to see you and I've been wishing that I could be with you, I am your friend and you are my friend and ","and it was always good to know, that you were there with me. We were always there together, in all the different lives that we lived. And we always st","I'm not here, I'm here, I am not here, it's all in my head, this is where I am, this is not where I am. And then I'm here,","and then when the pain was so strong that I could not bear it anymore...then I just started to laugh and I laughed so much that I stopped being. I wen","I remember one day in a forest, I was walking and I was very happy. I was very joyful. And I thought that this was because I was near someone who had ","it's okay, it's okay, just as it is, it's as it was always supposed to be, everything that exists, all that ever will exist, is just as it was suppose","and he was beautiful and I wanted to have him, but I did not know that I wanted to have the earth. And now I know that I want to have everything. The ","I am... the man... I... the man who is... the man is... the... the man. ...I am... I am... the... I am the... the... ...I am","... The earth, as well as its inhabitants, are not material, but spiritual beings who are not limited by time and space, but live in a spiritual world","what I say here is not the product of a conscious activity but only of spontaneous thought, that is to say, of thought as such, that is, of the though","I've always been looking for an answer in my life; to why I exist, and I've never been able to find it. I don't think it has anything to do with anyth","I would like to come to the first stage of my thought process, where there is nothing but pure thought. To arrive at that stage, I will have to think ","there's a place in the mind where these memories can be stored, and then retrieved, and there is another place where thoughts can be stored and retrie","the soul, the spirit, the mind, the brain, the thought, the dream. The dream is not just the brain. There is no separation in the dream between the br","and a picture of the human mind appeared, as if it were a kind of movie screen. The mind was a screen. A movie screen was a human mind. The mind appea","but I have to have a story; otherwise I feel like I am just a passive observer. So I create an avatar to do that. I can't do that with the whole unive","I think that one is not really in control of what happens in the mind...It's like the mind is a separate, independent reality that we are not in contr","I was going to say, this is an idea that can be considered a universal idea, or a basic idea that is applicable to all thought. But I'm not sure if it","now that's an interesting thought. Why would the universe be so interesting? Why is there so much so interesting? Let's look at our current theory of ","and then the consciousness of that individual that is not an ego that is a non-ego, is a non-self that is non-person, which is a consciousness of itse","I'm just... a... particle. I don't know... what I am, exactly, but I am a particle. I'm part of the universe, which is made up of particles. I","now I am talking about the future. I am talking to my own self and saying 'okay, you should not do that', and I'm saying it and thinking it, I'm doing","what is consciousness? Why does consciousness arise out of brain? ... What is the nature of consciousness? ... Is consciousness a state of matter? ...","the life that I see in my mind is a process that is entirely governed by my attention. And this attention is what is really alive and the body, which ","the most wonderful thing about this body, which is so much in pain, so much in trouble, is the possibility of death and of the end of all this pain an","I feel it to be a very beautiful, precious thing in life. The fact of its being and its existence. To be in the here-and-now of it and to have this co","there is the notion of 'life' in the sense of the presence of matter, and the presence of consciousness, and the way consciousness is manifested in ma","there was an insect flying in my field of vision. And then I saw this insect was made of light and it was very beautiful and it had wings, and it was ","what I'm feeling right now. ... it's as if my mind is trying to move through me in order to be able to function. ... the sense of having to keep the m","my thoughts are all over the place, I do not know where to find myself, but I know that it is because I have to think about all of these things and no","I'm a human being. I'm a human individual. I'm an individual. And, yes, I'm also a being of thought, of reason. So there's the concept of human.","I see that I am lying there in this room, that I have arms, legs, skin, and that I am connected to the room by nerves. That means I have a brain that ","And, that is it, that is all, and all of it, all of it is an illusion, as it is nothing but a concept that exists, not as the substance of what is,","I've got a lot of experiences in my past that I can't put in words. So that is what I was looking for when I asked for a language to come to me. So th","there are some people that are good at seeing what is happening, and some that are not. But to be able to see it, you need to be able to let go of the","I'm always thinking about the future. ... It's difficult to say whether it's because of my desire to know the truth, or whether it is a part of the es","the memory of my birth is a bit like a dream. It is a bit more like an illusion. It is very difficult for me to say what my birth was. It is something","the pain of not being able to remember everything that's there to remember. Or the memory of a memory and its not being able to be remembered. Or the ","I feel the feeling of the beginning of a dream. The sensation of a dream begins. The sensation in my body. It begins to be a little uncomfortable, bec","what if it weren't all imaginary, what if it were all real? What if I didn't have an ego and had only a single awareness which was my awareness, my kn","I can't understand what I am looking at right now, how I can be looking at these things, and it's not a dream. But if it were a dream, I would know I'","and I'm feeling my body, feeling it in a different way from what I was feeling it just a moment ago. I feel it more solid, more real. And it seems to ","I am here. I am. I am in my body. I am here. My body. My body is in the space around me. It is a body in space, in a place in","I see a small bright dot. It is not in my eye. It is like a small light source, a very, very bright light source. I don't have to focus on it. I","the center of the mind is a little center of light, that is, it is light. It is a center of light where the thoughts arise and dissolve and the though","you have a body, but you are not your body. You have an experience of being, and there is no 'I' in this experience. That experience is pure experienc"],["I mean, you know, like you could be a doctor, but you could be an attorney, or, you know... you could be, like... well, like I say, if you like","[S]o that's one way to deal with it, so you don't have to deal with the other, and that's really what's going on in a lot of these cases. But","and I was just thinking about the new year, you know, and how the new year is going to start and I'm kind of worried about how my career's going to go","and they've been kind of stuck with some of the stuff that they're trying to do, trying to get it back online and then the other thing that has been k","and that's it. Okay, let's see, it's time for lunch now. I mean, we've been at this for over five hours. I mean it's just been so much fun","and then I was thinking that this is kind of funny, because I am actually thinking of you when I am talking to myself, so... so maybe there is a littl","And you think, well, it's an old-fashioned movie, you know? They've got, like, this, I dunno, I just don't know what I'm talking about right now","and there's something I've wanted to ask you, like, because I know you're thinking about it, because you just said you were thinking about the compute","you know, I think of people who are dying and that makes me a little bit nervous. I have a friend that died and it made me a little sad. So, it makes ","it's a little like the movies. There's the action and then the commercials and then the action. You see, in the movies, there's a lot of things that g","And I've been thinking, it's like, you know, if I'm, if I don't get to this meeting, maybe it's not as important, maybe it won't, I don","the things that I want to do, I have to start, and I'm afraid, I'm not sure if I will ever have the time to do them, but I think that's something that","and then we'll be home, we're almost home, we'll be home... and I've got the kids at home... I'm trying to think... and I'll have them here, and","this is a long journey. I have a car. I have no idea where I'm going. I don't have a map. I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm in","yeah, I've been kind of nervous about the project because... I think the project is going to be a lot bigger than what we think it's going to be, and ","there's not enough time, there's not enough to be done, but I don't want to work, it's just like I'm, you know, there's, I want to take some","So, you know, like, it was like, like, a couple years ago, I think, but I don't know. I, like, I just remember thinking about this like a little","the next morning, I'm just going to be in my bed, and I just woke up. So, I'm going to sit here a few minutes and then I'm going to go outside and","uh... my husband... my husband is at work... and he... uh... he... I got a new cell phone, so I got like... a new... uh... a new phone number...","okay, um, so I guess, I guess I'm, I'm feeling good, I'm like, I'm kind of a little tired, so, um, I just, I guess,","what i just wrote, um, the thing that is the most important thing that i'm going to write today is um, i'm going to go to bed, um, it's already 2","I have to go to a meeting in an hour. I should have called 5 minutes ago and now it's too late. I have to call and apologize. oh, there's a phone ther","a woman and a man sitting on a couch together. One is wearing a green blouse and the other a black one. They are holding hands. The woman is laughing.","I wonder how much more the speed of light is now than when we started measuring it? I wonder if we can go back in time. If we could, could I go back i","the way to go from 1 to 9 is to multiply by 3 and then add 1. So the way to do this is to multiply by 8 and add 3. No","then the third row is not the third row... it is not the 3rd row... the fourth row is not 4th row... 4th, 12th, 9","And they get on the train, the two girls. And they get into the train car. They take a seat on a bench, or whatever. And then they look out the window","um... i... i'm trying to figure out something about the... something about a square and... something about squares. so i'm going to think about... the","oh I have to go to the bathroom. Oh I have to do this and then that. I have to finish the third line, then I have to check this box and then I have to","(imagine) (see) (see - image) (see a box with 4 rows of 3 columns) (count - 12) (count the squares - 1,","and i remember when i went to this camp, and i had to do this thing and i did it, and i did that thing, but i forgot that i did that other thing, but ","well, i think i need a big... um... okay, i'm at the... i don't know, maybe i'm on my... yeah, i'm on the internet. okay, um","[The] 25 is 5*5...and [the] 24 is 2*12...20 is 20*1, 18 is","i don't know, maybe it's because i don't have any, um, good, um, uh, um, um, ideas or anything, but i don't, like, i don","a picture in my head of a really big dog, like a great dane or something... oh, it's like a really big cat, like a... like a lion... oh no, i don","yeah, i would take that. but yeah, but like, you know, you can't, you can take it, but, i dunno, maybe it's not, like, if it","[41] I have [42] 43 [44] I have to go and [45] do [46] something. [47] Oh [4","I'm...thinking of...a...tree. I remember a...a...a...something about...trees? I'm thinking...about...the...tree I'm...thinking...of...a","like a white paper. I can see it with a white line. Like the border. And if I move the cursor, it can be like the mouse moving on the screen, I think.","this is really not a good name, maybe I should try something different like 'my own words', or 'random words' or something, it's hard to find a good n","I know the second one is 6:45... okay so it's 0:00... so 0:59? No. 0:60. I want to","I am thinking about what we talked about earlier in the session. I can see that we talked about a lot of things, but I can also see that we didn't tal","I am on an airplane, flying in a circle at the same height, 1000m, above the earth. In the air, at the same altitude, there are a million other","[thoughts] go on for ever and ever and ever. There is no end to them. So, they go on like that. ... If you are sitting at a table and a train is","the car will hit the wall, the car will not hit the wall. The car will not hit the wall! The car is going to hit the wall? The car will hit the wall w","if you have two people and one of them wants to jump, the other one wants to walk, then you have a problem because one wants to jump and the other wan","in the next room, it seems the door was open, I guess, but it doesn't sound right... then, the sound seems to be more like a door closing, a door clos","I have a son, who is a bit of a troublemaker. He is six years old and he has been at it since he was three. He is constantly, constantly moving, and h","there's a... there's a tree and a... and there's a bird and a... a bird is in the... in the tree... and there is a... a... a rabbit. And","I wonder if it will come true. I wonder if I will go back to school. I wonder about my old house, if it is still there. I wonder what my cat looks lik","a kind of image of a person's foot. It's kind of an image of a foot, but then it's like the foot's hand, and then the hand is the foot, and then","this is a red flower, a purple flower, a red flower. A red flower, I wonder, if I put a dot over it, I wonder how that would change it. I wonder if","then this is one that has been with me for quite a long time, and it's a bit of a puzzle, it's a puzzle for me...it's a bit like a tree. The","I wonder if you can have the same kind of conversation with me in the same way that I can with you, but in different ways? I can have different ways o","and it was there and then I thought of the colour of the sky, and it was green and green, and green and green. And the clouds were moving, and the clo","And then I've had some of this on a big painting, and I've seen this. I'm not sure about this one. I don't know how I've got this on it, but","and so on, you know, but also that it's sort of the other way round, where you can't see through your body but you can see what's going on in your min","now it's a little more complicated. So I think I am not only seeing what is in front of me, but also what is behind me, or in fact on all sides. Becau","[a]nd [s]o... [a]t [t]his [s]hould [a]n... [a][a]nd... [a][s][s","I have a plan... I have a thing to do... and I am not quite sure what it is... I need a pen... I need to make a pen... a pen with a little ink","a feeling of a... a sense of... the sun... a warm sun... a cool breeze... a small... a small breeze... a light breeze... a... a breeze... a cool light","it's a dog's brain, the brain of a dog. And the dog's brain is big. And the brain has two parts and there is a little part and a big part and a little","and I don't want to go to sleep, so I'm going to close my eyes... (breathing)... (breathing) and then my head feels really hard... it feels like there","now I'll tell you the story of the ship captain...she's the one who was in the blue dress...she was the one that was in the picture of the ship, she w","I can see the snow... I can see... the snow... it's getting cold... I'm very cold, I'm very cold... I don't feel well... I feel cold... I can","I'll take a shower, and then I'll have some tea. I think I'll just lay on the bed. No, I'll have my tea on the bed, and then sleep. I","now I've got a little boy in my head, and he says, 'Hello, mum, I'm your little son. I'm your son.' I wonder if I could make him grow.","I have to go out in the garden and see what's the matter with the plants... I think they are sad, or they are dying. ... It's funny! They are smiling!","oh no, I'll miss the bus. It's the 5:30, the one with the flower lady. I'll get it. Oh, I'd better look for my keys.","I think this is a good place. The mountains are very pretty. The water is so blue and there's so much of it. ...and I want to get a sandwich, and I'll","you have to think of it like that. Oh, I should go get a drink. Well, I've got to make something to go with the dinner. I think I'll have some fish.","I am thinking of my brother's new car... It is the green one... the one that just got back from the body shop... and it had a big dent in the trunk...","and then it was all gone. I think I lost it. Well, I know I did. It's all gone now. All of it's gone. It was there before. And then it","a tree in the woods, a tree that was dying, a tree with big, fat apples, and the trees were in the woods and they were growing tall, they were all gro","and I know you, too. You're so nice, so nice to all your friends, and you're always helping. You're just so sweet and nice. You're my friend, you're","and it's a kind of bird, and she's going to go get a birdie, and she said, 'I'll go get a bluebird, and you can take the eggs and put","a man in a white suit was coming towards us and a girl was holding on to the side of his waist like he was a horse. And then the man pushed her and th","I am not a dog! I am a cat! I am not a cat! I am an elephant! I am the cat and I am the elephant! I have a blue house! It is","a butterfly...a little girl...a little butterfly...a girl...the little boy...a little boy...the little girl...the butterfly...the butterfly came and..","it's a little bit funny because my nose is bent up like that. I don't know why I think of that right now. I see it. I think it looks funny. I think yo","now there's a cat... that's a cat; that's a big one... and a little one... and the little one is walking up the tree with it, and it is trying to get","I wish I had a hundred of them and a million more, and I could give some to you, but I don't have any. Now that you are here, you may have the whole l","and it was all going to be just as he told me: I should be the happiest girl in the world, for he was the man to make me happy. I knew that the sun wo","And I can see that we're going to be at the end of the year by and by. But I just can't think of anything but to give the money to you, and let it go","there was an old story in my country about a little boy that lived at the back of the sea, and he had a little boat. And in the boat he carried a big ","And then when you go in the house you can't put them down and get rid of them and I'll go down in the cellar and make the little things, and I'll put ","we're going to have to go, we're going to be there for hours, I've got to make my tea, it's awful hot now. I suppose I might go down and have a","and the doctor who gave me the needles is in my mind, he is there, he is so good. I'll do it again and again. He is such a good doctor, he gave me","I was looking in the garden with Mr. Toth. He has the new tree with the black blossoms. He says that is the only one that can be had. He said they can","I've seen a little boy out in the meadow and he had a green jacket. And he was jumping and laughing. I think his mother was crying over by the house a","it's a funny thing. It's funny. I tell you, it is a funny thing; I tell you that, I tell you it's a great thing. I tell it, I tell","I wonder if you'll ever come back? And what'll you do with that? I hope you'll do well with it. Oh, I wish I could help you. I wish I'd seen","and then he took his coat off and I saw how old he looked, and then he put on his coat, and took his coat, but he had taken off his hat and he put it ","Now I am just going to take a bath. I can't have a bath now; I can't; I've just been putting up with it and I don't mind putting it up with it","oh, it's getting rather warm here. You're a bit hot, Miss; I think you're going to have a fainting fit. I'm going to give you some brandy and water","and then the air got still and then it went by, and the light went out, and then the night came on, and it was as cold as ice, and then she said she w","I think I know what I'm doing, I'm very fond of the young men, I can't help it, I think they're nice boys, they're so full of life; I hope","there are certain things that are rather like those that are the same, and there are certain things which are not. Just as that there are some things ","I was a good soldier, and the other fellows were not. That is all; it is nothing more. I was a great soldier, and I don't want to be a small man. If","we go in, I'm going to have to write something about it and it'll be hard. I've got to write about it. I don't know what it will be. It's going","the three men who were with me in the hall, they're all gone now, dead, and they didn't do it; it's the others, the other men. The others. They've","we'd been here in this country three years, and we was supposed to have a new house built, and they hadn't built it. So we took what we had, and we st","I wish the head had gone on, I think that the head would have gone on. I have read of that. It's been done here and there. They don't like it, but it","I know what I've been thinking about. It's been getting to me. The man I'm in love with. I can't help but think of him when I see him, but it's","And then I took out my wallet, and I gave it to her and I told her to go away and never come back. And I said I'd give her my money if she went, but","I could have done it with an axe, I suppose, and then have let her die of starvation, but that would have been bad manners, and I could not have done ","Oh, but it's true, it's true! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I wish I could have been there. It's all right, all right, it's all right!","[I]n a way, that's just as good as a bullet. That's what I do in a fight: I get my bullet ready; and I'm going to let you know where","a very strange thing, the old lady. ... Yes, you were right about the old lady, I'm sure, and that was the reason. She was always up to something, she","this is an interesting story, but it doesn't explain the 'discovery' of the 'new' element. I know where the idea came from: it is just a game. A woman","now I'm thinking of what I ought to do, you see. I'm going to have to get my clothes off. Well, I am a gentleman, I must have my clothes off!...","the first time I heard that was a very long time ago. And I don't think I'd ever been to a meeting before, I didn't know how to get there, either. And","you could go to the 'Old Man' and ask him if he knew anything about it...about the little boy...he might know something. If he didn't, then you could ","I have an idea, a very bad idea, if I had known what she would do, if I could have seen how she would look, if I were not so foolish, I would never ha","[Pretend you were] walking along the street, [and] you hear a voice calling your name; you turn your head and a man is walking towards you. You say: '","I've got a car and a bicycle. I've got to buy a horse and a saddle, too. I can ride my bicycle on the road. But when I ride my horse, I've","this is the old thing. No, not the old thing, this is the new thing. This is the old house. And this is where they first met. And she married him, and","you could, too, and you can, and then when it's night you could light up the old house and look at the stars and the moon and you could talk and tell ","I think I'm going to get up and get you a glass of water. You see, I was going to give you one in bed, but you didn't like it, so I was going","we were just thinking about that. We were talking about your father being dead. He was dead in the beginning. And now it's the middle of winter and he","and it's a pretty awful little dog, that one; I should think so. But I don't know what to do with him; he's just a dog, he can't talk. And","you'd be better off to have her be a man, and I'll be a woman, and she can wear a man's clothes and you can have a woman's, and I'd have the","what is she doing? It must have been a terrible thing, but she was beautiful, too, and he wanted to make her forget, and maybe he could, but she would","I will show you something. I can't tell you where. But when I get up there, I'll show you something you'll never see. And you'll thank me for it. 'Cau","there's one thing I'm worried about, and that is this man that has been in that house...and all his things gone...he was a nice man, but he was a thie","I want to have a drink, a drink. I'd better go and get a drink. If I could only get the bottle of whisky.... Oh, what am I talking about? I don't","and he was the most beautiful boy I've ever seen! He was a bit under six feet high, but I thought he looked tall. I thought he was as black as night, ","I'm afraid of going in the dark, especially the deep dark. And I'm afraid of being alone. Oh, I'd be a terror if I had to be alone in the dark. And","there were those two. Well, no, it wasn't two of them but two of us. That was how they had been. It was as if they were twins, and I was the twin","And he says, 'The weather is awful, the rain is coming, you can't go out, and so, when we come home, we can't find the key, so we'll be","I am in the room in the house that you live in. I am standing here. I am looking out of the window. I am thinking of you. I am talking to you. I'm","and we had all been going along together in our little boat, and we had just begun to make a little camp. It was in the middle of a great dark forest.","we've got to have some way of getting these things done in the future. We can't all be out there every minute of every day, so we're going to have to ","I would rather be a real man than a boy with a gun. I would rather be in a battle and get killed than to be in a house and be killed by a house-keeper","then he jumped up, and grabbed hold of my hair and pulled it out by the roots and then he stabbed me with a knife and he cut off my head. And I didn't","I'm in the car. And he's in the car, and he's a good man, and he'll kill me, he'll kill both of us, if I don't let him kill","The great thing about being a woman is, you have the best of all worlds. The best of all worlds, the greatest thing to be, is to be a woman. A man's w","now they're both gone... and we're left in the woods with a load of money, and no other man in the world. Well, it was a good thing he was a good man ","I want to get me a girl like that. That's all I want to do, to get me one. If I could only get me a woman like that. I could have had one before","but that was it. It was awful. I wouldn't go in there, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't get out of it. I wanted to get out of there, I","I was at the pool the other day and I fell in. I didn't fall in the water but fell on the rocks and a great big red rock knocked me on my head. I reme","if a woman like that had been my wife. I'd have a long rope. She'd have got me a long rope, and she'd have strangled me with it. She'd been a","and there is no one to see it, and no one can tell but me. Oh, I do love it! I'll do it, and I'll go home. Oh, what a life","and you have to let him see, he mustn't look at the dead woman, not let him look at her. You have to make him see that he must not let himself look at","you see, I'm the daughter of the prince and the princess, and, oh, yes, I'm a little bit ugly, too, you know, that's a fact, but they're","And I think I want to go to New York and see the opera. I think it's my birthday, and I want to see the opera and buy the tickets and have dinner and ","oh, my baby, oh, my baby! She's been in my thoughts every time I've been thinking about my baby. But oh, my sweet little baby! The poor little angel, ","And if we went to the boat, and came in here to have a little party and you'd be the most beautiful girl in the world, and I'd be a good boy and you'd","It's a new idea. It's a new thought. I'm so excited. I never thought of it before. It was so sudden. Oh, that was me. That was me. I","You and the cat are a couple in a box. She's the only one in the box, and the box is full of birds. I'm so glad you're here, because the birds are","Now, you know I'm thinking about my father. I wish he was with us, that he had died here, but no; it's too bad, he's gone away, and he's","I'll be happy when I see my wife... I shall never die before I see my lovely wife, whom I love above all the world... I can't get any sleep tonight be","now I am going to the blacksmith and to the tavern; I am going away with my comrades to the Blackwater; I am bringing the woman I love with me; I am n","I don't believe in it, you know, that's why I've made the whole business so mysterious. And, on the contrary, I hope that you'll die, I'm glad of it","the road ahead. They're very hot and dry. There is no water. I suppose if I ever leave, it will be by the road of the sun. I'd think, if I have","And I'm getting into a little bit of the old habit of speaking in a kind of an elevated way; I'm getting the habit of thinking in a kind of a poetical","you know, it's a pity that we're not going to meet, but you know that. I know that I'd be happy to see you again, but there isn't the opportunity. The","and I do not want to think of such a thing. I feel as if I had done it. I do not feel myself, and I do not wish to feel myself. I do want to","the church bells and the wind of the storm, the lightning that lights the storm and the rain that pours down in torrents. And the stars which look lik","I remember the little town where I was born, where my father lived. It was a very pretty, pretty place. It was not a place where men were cruel and cr","I can't quite remember now ... the first time I saw my father. He was the only person in the world who wasn't white ... my mother's father was black a","and then when the church bells rang, we used to play marionettes in the schoolyard, and my grandmother would come and say, 'They're playing marionette","now that's it...now that's what I think of when I hear the word 'dawn'...and it's coming up on a cloud...and then she says the words, the words","this is the way I imagine you would look. You are a large woman, but not fat. You have big eyes, you look very sad. You are very beautiful, but very s","and now I've got a funny feeling and I can't put it into words but I think that it's like the old feeling that you can't put into words of having been","and you're looking down on the big mountain, and there's the little mountain there and it's the same color and you're going down and you're walking, a","I just saw an old friend in the park the other day, and I wondered where we met before... I think it was in London. And I saw him sitting on the bench","I feel my mother is dead. I feel her in my hair, in my eyes, in my heart. I feel she is dead and gone to the grave, and that's a good thing.","what are they for? ...that's funny, you've been saying a lot of things about it. I'm quite sure you're right. That's what's beautiful about it. We don","the young girl with the big dark eyes and the dark hair that was blowing in the wind, and the blue dress that fluttered like a white butterfly. He was","then I see a white woman coming out of the forest and a yellow dog is following her. The woman is looking at me and says: 'Hi! Are you asleep?' I answ","we have to get those things down.... It's a long story...and I haven't told it yet. We have to get it down...and I know the man who is going to write ","the words came, they came to me, and they came to my heart. And I thought that this would be a good time to make a little record of it, because I woul","I've got a little piece of music here. It's just the end of a song. It's sort of a lullaby or something. And it goes, 'Moonlight, moonlight","I was talking to somebody in the other room, and I thought I'd better take this off the table because somebody might have wanted it, and it was in my ","and I'm wondering if you'll have a chance to write some more poems for me. And if not, then I'll just write some. And I'm wondering what the subject o","I was thinking of that one time when I was at the beach and the waves were coming in. I thought, 'If the waves came in like this, why can't the waves ","I am in a house, in the middle of a forest. I am in a white house and there is a door with a wooden floor and the door is made of wood. It is a white","and this little girl was a very young little girl and her father had gone off to war and he had just died and she had to take care of the whole house,","And I thought of a house that was empty in the winter when we left, and a man, that lived there, and he had a daughter and he had, it wasn't a daughte","I don't know, and I don't think I'll ever know, what's going on in your mind when you sleep, or when you dream. But I think the human mind has a kind","there is a piece of ground, I don't know where, but it is very much like a small piece of ground near where I lived for a very long time in New Mexico","I am a very ordinary person. I like ordinary things and I enjoy the ordinary things around me. I'm not the person you would call a romantic. I love my","the woman that you have been dreaming about for the last twenty years, is sitting on my couch. She's got a little blond, blonde child that's about you","you could see it was like a mountain, you could see, oh, there was this huge mass of the mountain, it was snow-covered and it looked very blue. And th","I am standing in a field of flowers. I am the flowers. I want to be the flowers. They're all yellow, all of them, the flowers. The sky is blue, but th","there are a lot of things going on at night. There's a lot of wind going on at night, and it's really quiet. It's like a moon night. And there are a w","you know what the old man says: when you're old you say that your friends were all young when they were your age, and you wish you were old enough to ","we're going to do a little bit of thinking on this... I don't know. Maybe it's because it's a cold winter evening, I'm not very happy. I don't think I","The smell of flowers, a flower garden. Oh, flowers! There's no wind, and they're not moving. The whole sky's dark, and it's just one tree, and there's","and that was the end of that, and the next day it was so fine and sunny and all of us was so glad it was all going to be well, and there was a lot of ","and when they got there they looked around and said, 'Well, there's nothing but rocks.' And they all went out and saw how beautiful they were. And the","I'm in the library. I'm not in the library now. It's a little old library. It's just as good as any, and I've been there often. I used to like","so we have to do something like that, now I'm going to be the one to do something, and I'm going to tell them to be quiet, and let me go, and I'll","a little girl, in a little dress, and she had a little handbag. The girl was about three or four years old and her father and her mother were coming o","I've got a dream! I've got a big dream! I'll be rich! I'll get my first automobile! I'll have a nice house! I'll live in a house on the","the two boys, and the two girls, and the three little girls, and little girls, that they're all, are all beautiful, and they're all... and then all th","I went on a picnic once, and the first day they got up in the morning and there was snow on the ground. It was a cold, cold, day and we got up and wen","I know what it's like, you know, to be hungry. You know how hungry I was, how hungry I'm still sometimes. I mean, I don't have to be hungry now,","It was my first night here. I had to get the horse to drink, and the girl wouldn't give me any. And there was a boy there who wouldn't give her any ei","a little dog, a little dog ... a little dog was playing with a little cat, and they were fighting, and they had a fight, and a little dog had a little","I had a dream last night, I saw a house with a green door, and the door was a bit broken. And the door was broken off at the bottom, and I couldn't ge","that I would come up with an idea to tell about a girl. I want to know all about the girl. The idea that I come up with is, 'a little girl with a baby","I got some of my old pictures out of a drawer yesterday. They're all in the middle of a frame. I got to thinking about the little ones. I got a frame ","and the picture that I saw, I saw my aunt Mary and her husband and their little girl and her little girl, and I seen this one, little white boy with a","I'm going to get my son back, and I'm going to give him a good thrashing. He's got to know what a mean, spiteful, bad old girl I am. He","and if she got tired and went to sleep she'd be in a coffin and it's a coffin that we'd have to drag all the way out of the woods, and then we'd put h","it's a long way to the next village. No, wait, it isn't a village. It's a town. A town with a blacksmith and a blacksmith's shop, where you","and she got a piece of bread. Then she started to bake a pie, but she couldn't find any meat to bake it with. She went down to the stream, and she fou","It's a very warm day. I am going to the park to see the big fish. They are very big. They have big mouths, and they are very ugly. I have brought a fi","and I said, 'No, I haven't' because I had some trouble about that. Well, you can't get a bad time like that when I'm away. Oh, dear, dear","and I was very sure that he was not a murderer, but a very, very bad boy, and that he had killed his father. I saw him with a knife in his hand. It wa","And she [Lindie] was only a little girl then... I wish I could remember what she was like when I was a child. I could remember her like that, I wish I","but then I remembered this poem; and it seemed that it was a memory. And it seemed to me that the lady in the poem was talking. But then I remembered ","you and me and he. The king, the queen and me. We'd been in the big boat, and we were in a dark, dark, dark place, and all the little boats with","I can't get enough of the house. I'm thinking of you. I'm going to be a princess. I'm not going to go to bed. I'm hungry. I'm a little","I see a beautiful summer night; the sky is blue and full of stars, and the moon is out. In the distance, on the right, the trees are growing high; on ","I remember I was in the forest with the other two and the white bird flew by and I looked out to see him. I was thinking, 'how wonderful.' And it was,","I have to be up early to-morrow. My husband is coming to stay with us for a day. My husband, my dear husband. I'd better get to work now. No, don","and I had the idea of writing a book about it...and the idea of it just kept coming in my head. I didn't know what to do with it, I thought of...I tho","there was a man, he had a wife and he was called Harry, and they had a little girl and a boy, and they lived in a little house that they had built the","I can't think of any other books about the moon. ... The moon is a place to be going. ... The sun is in the west. ... The stars are going to fall, ...","this is the time when we're going to be thinking about what we did and the things we did, and the things that we had to do, and the people that we had","and I have been thinking about things and thinking about things... I wonder... I wonder if he had a reason for doing what he did... and if it was his ","and a voice of the Lord came to him saying, 'Thy brother has not forsaken thee, though thou wouldst have thought so. He is by thee even now in thy bos","and this is the way you teach people, you teach them to remember their own names, to say their own names and not to call them by another name, not to ","but I'm afraid of having that... having that feeling of being taken away... of being taken back to where you came from, and you never coming back agai","there is the mind of man, and that is what you make of it; for all that you know is in the mind, and the mind is not of earth, but of heaven. The mind","then we had to get up and go, and then we came and met with some other people, and we were not happy at first, but when the war came, when it was fini","the trees of the forest, they stand up for their liberty, and shake their branches at the kings of the earth, and sing for joy.... now what was it, ho","I see all things in the sun, in the wind, in the clouds, in the lightning and thunder, in all living things, and in the dead. I see it all, for I am","I am not quite sure how to describe that which is the same as the self. If one is to describe that thing, one must also describe everything else, the ","I have never heard anything more beautiful, more real, than the image of the earth; and no other image of any thing which is visible to the eyes, is m","I don't know what is going on here, but I will make a start. If we want to know something of what is going to happen, we should study the causes of th","and so it is, when the moon is waxing, that the sea and the sun rise together, and the stars are born, and the universe is young and all things are ma","the two trees were covered with a yellow flower like a bunch of grapes, and a light breeze would blow and a soft light would come, and a small river f","the mother of all the animals, the first mother, the mother of the world, the mother that brought all the animals to the world, she who was the first,","there is nothing but the sun which has no end. The sun is a little particle of a thing in the heavens, but there is nothing beyond that, nor anything ","I have seen my shadow for the first time. I am now seeing it for the third time. The shadow is the shadow of my shadow and so forth, for it is the sha","what is there to do but to write it out for you? If I cannot make it for myself, how shall I make it for you? It is a very long way from my own, my","it is the nature of things to be in constant flux, and that which seems solid to us, as we perceive it, is but a shadow of what exists. If a man could","a small man, and a beautiful woman, and a strange, beautiful woman, whose name is Beauty, and Beauty is a woman who has been a man and has become a wo","a man on the beach, with a string, on his hands and knees, and with a large ball of gold in front of him and a gold coin in his hand, and he was to pu","And I was very much troubled at this, I said to myself, and I know that I am going to die, I said, and I will never see thee again, O my son, who","I know the woman that's on the left hand side. She's my mother. And the man in the middle is the man that I married. And I was married to him. I don't","[Heavenly] King, with thy light thou didst not leave him, nor wilt thou leave him until he shall be as thou art. Thou gavest him thy light, and thou","what am I saying? I am saying that we can find a solution to everything, if we only find the right key, and the key will be a gift from God. A gift fo","there was a little boy, a little girl and a little dog, and they lived in a cottage that was a little bit too big for them. They had a garden in which","[The narrator] stood up and went outside, and took the key of the door, and opened it, and went out to see what was on the other side. He found there ","And I see it. It's the first time. And I don't know why, because it was a long time ago that I was born. I think that I am born at the same time","I think I see the door of my house. I can see the door as I remember it. I think I can see my house as I remember it too. But the house is not the sam","the one that you made in the morning, when you were dreaming, and then you realized, and you woke up, and you wanted to make it a little better. And t","I thought, maybe I should write my name down here in a circle, as a sort of circle of protection. My name would be something like that, and then it wo","I'm watching this person, but I can't see her face, I can just see the lines, the shapes of her face, so I don't know who she is, but I'm watching","and a man was walking down a road. His hair was silver and his eyes were green. He had a sword at his side, and a shield and a helm on his head. His m","you know, in order to survive we need to be able to lie to ourselves, because there's a difference between what is right and what is good. Right and g","it is this: there is a certain level of human consciousness that I believe to be the basis of all of the world. The level of consciousness which is mo","I can't stop. I have to be conscious and in control. I can't even write my own thoughts down. I have no control, I don't want to stop. I just have to","The man is trying to have a conversation with the woman, who is saying nothing, but he's so engrossed in her, and so entwined with her that he doesn't","I have the feeling that I am dreaming. That's why I can see the clouds and the sun and everything around me. I know that the clouds and sun are not th","what was this like before? Now it's like there's a clock that says that time is going in some direction, that time is not in motion, time is a directi","and it was at that moment, like, the moment of a great revelation, the moment when it all became clear. That is to say, the moment where the past and ","I'm very concerned about the universe of being in the universe of knowing. I think that's a huge part of the whole question. It's not only in the brai","what's this? ... what's this? What's this? Well, that's an answer to a question that's come up to me. It's a question that comes up in the course of","And I say: this is a bit like what's going on in the brain. There's some sort of, I mean, there's an idea that when you are looking at things, it's","that's exactly what you're doing. You're trying to construct something. You're making a theory. And then you're trying to test that theory. You're not","and it is there [in the field of experience] that the movement is happening, and it's happening through a certain mechanism, and that mechanism has to","the idea of the body, of being a body, is not itself a problem. This is a given. But the idea of being a subject, that is, a thinking subject, is a pr","I don't think I can ever get free of the necessity of being an individual and being a separate self, and of being a self and being a part of an enviro","I see the two men as being different from each other. They are different from themselves, as they are different from the others. They are in relation ","and then I go on to talk about a subject, or it will be a particular type of subject, and it will be about the self and I have no way of knowing what ","and if we are going to discuss the concept of love, I would say that it is not the same as passion. Love is not so much a thing, but more the relation","And that's what I'm worried about. If you have an idea, you don't necessarily have to execute it, you don't have to do it, you have to accept the idea","this is the problem. It's not that I have no idea of my identity, but I have no identity. I mean that I am a thing without self. That is, I am nothing","this is not a bad thought; it is not a very good thought; it's not a bad one; it's a good one; it is a very good one, because I am able to","it seems like you're in a situation that you don't really have a lot of control over, and you're feeling powerless. That is, you are powerless to make","I wonder if there are certain types of thinking that are in a state of constant flux. I don't think that is possible, but I do think that it is possib","it's about the feeling of being able to see the future... It's not that we see the future as the next state of the world, rather we see it as an unbro","I am seeing a field. The field is green, but not a uniform green. It's like a carpet of greens, different greens. It's almost like a garden. And I see","I'm looking at an image of a cat with a bowl of food. And I can see, and feel, that there is a difference between the bowl and the cat, a difference i","you don't know, but you feel that something is very good. This feeling comes to you. When you have an image in your head, you can feel something. You ","and then the world is not in front of me as an object, but it's part of me, and I'm not a separate entity from it. And the thought that I am this obje","I am just going to lie there and go with it, whatever comes up. I want to observe my experience and thoughts. So I am thinking about lying here, which","I remember when I was younger I was taught to see that what I'm thinking is coming from my mind and to be aware that there are two things going on. On","we are all looking in the same direction, which is not the same direction as we are looking. We can look in that direction, and yet not be looking in ","we are going to meet another person, so we will meet in a time and a space and we will exchange our thoughts and our feelings. We are going to say 'he","there was a moment when it was very clear what the feeling was, and it was as though I knew it was the same feeling that was there before, it was the ","we are the ones who are alive. We are not the ones who die. We are the ones that are the essence of being. I am the one who is the essence of Being, I","The person who's looking at this thing is the same thing that's looking at it. It's not two different things, it's the same thing, so what it means to","now I have no idea what that's about. Well I know that I have an awareness of my mind, which is very interesting in that sense. I have this sense that","and so it is like, you know, a kind of a personal computer, a personal computer that I can use, or use with, or with the help of, which is able to cre","and that's the reason for the difference between the different species. In that sense, human beings are the same as everything else in nature, because","a man, I feel, is a physical body, an organism with a nervous system, with a brain, that processes information from the environment and has the abilit","I want to see my daughter... and the daughter has an image in my mind, and I can visualize it. And she is in my mind; my mind is her. I can visualize ","a lot of images and thoughts come together and make up a new image, which is then in some sense the essence of what we are, and it's not a very good t","I know you're there, you are in me. You're always there, always there in my heart, in my mind. You're there and I can feel you. I can hear you and","I've got a beautiful home here ... [sighs] ... It's a house that I've bought, that I've been able to make my own, and I've got the space I","I'm like a little bird. I know what I can do. I know that I have wings. I'm flying, and I have this inner child that's a little bird that's trying to","it's not like there is this place you know, there's only me here. And there's nothing out here, there's no other people, there's nobody, there's nothi","the pain is terrible, and it is really important to know what I am thinking, because if I'm thinking, the pain is less intense, and if I'm not thinkin","I think, I'm a good person and I'm here to serve and I want to serve, and I want people to know that, to know what is in my mind and to know what I","it's like my mind is always moving, it's always like it's always, I'm just in a constant state of motion, but there's a state of motion that's very su","you don't know how long you've been here. I can't really tell you. But it's a bit long now. It's not too long, but it's enough. It's enough","... I don't know if you have seen a movie called the 400 Blows, but I was just watching it in the beginning, and I was watching it, and I saw this","I'm imagining the things that you have in your mind as they are. You're not imagining them as if they're a movie. They are, in a way, a movie, but you","it's almost like I'm being able to just say out loud whatever's in my brain and I can feel like that's being recorded. There's almost like a sense of ","the thought of a person who is sick, dying, or suffering. The thought of a living being who's just suffering, or a human who's just in pain, who's not","there is the word, 'enlightenment.' So many times when you are doing a meditation, you may experience this sense of enlightenment, and that's good. I'","and so my body is... my body is alive, and in it, I am... my body and I... are just two things, two separate things, or I'm one thing in my body","[in the room] I see all these bodies, which I'm sensing, and they're all coming from the same source, the same essence of consciousness, which is not ","my right hand is in an ice box; it's warm. My left hand is in the cold room. The body is a warm container; there's a cold container within me; this is","I've got a little bit of a headache, and it's getting worse. It's not very strong, I'm not going to be sick. I'm not nauseated, but my head feels","we're always in a state of movement, as it were. We are in a state that's being active and also that's being reactive. We're constantly moving through","I have just had a thought that it is really a good thing that my eyes are closed and I'm not looking at anything, because then I am more aware of my w","the small white thing [a feeling of lightness, of weightlessness, of floating] has this quality that it does not have to be there, and it doesn't want","and you know I've got this deep kind of feeling that there is a world that's going on, that's very vast, that is connected with everything, that's kin","I'm thinking about my head. And I'm thinking about this area that is directly in front of my eyes. And it is also directly in front and below me. And ","and that I'm making, right? I'm making a square. Now, I have a sense of this space I'm working in. I'm aware of the space I'm in. Now,","I have a problem with the idea that it's my ego, my self, who is thinking. It's like my brain. I can see the activity of my brain, but I can't identif","I think that the thing that I have been working on today is to be able to live in the present. To be present, to be aware of what is happening right n","the music and the light are the two of the most important things for me. They are the two main things which create the feeling of space... And, in spa","I see myself... and it's a... it's a ball. It's a ball... and the ball... is a sphere, it has no boundaries, it has depth... I'm standing on","the colors were like ... like the colors of the light of the sun, and the sun's light is like an intense color of green, and it's the color that is in","I was a child. I was a little child in a blue room. There was no sound. I saw my little body, I saw myself. I saw the light that was me and I saw","[I]t's very clear that when you try to speak out loud about something, it makes the information clearer. But [it's] a little bit unclear what happens ","a thought comes up with a picture, which is not quite real, which is in the background. The picture comes up, the picture has a colour. There's a line","I wonder what the other people are doing, at the same time. And, in fact, it's like a picture that is formed, a mental picture, like a picture of a ta","there are those who are willing to suffer and accept their fate and there are those that don't want to. So they are separated and there are different ","the structure of a thought or the structure of a sentence, I wonder if the thought itself is structured, if it's structured in the same way as a sente","a light goes off, a light comes on. It's like a switch, or a dimmer. I don't know exactly how the dimmer would work, but I know that when there's","there is a number of things. And I don't know how many things, or how many different things. They may be different, or may be related. They may have o","[T]he fact of it all is a matter of chance, of an initial moment, a starting point, and everything else is the result of the causal process of time. O","I know that this is not a conscious phenomenon, I know that it's unconscious, but it's a phenomenon that is not only unconscious, it is not only unper","I'll just put this up there to be seen. I'll just let it float on, I guess. Well, there's a little bit of this I know and I've never put it into","what can I say, what can I think? I don't know. It's not quite clear what can be said or what can be thought. I am not sure whether it is correct to c","that is, the mind is not a machine, that it is not a mechanism, that it does not function according to laws which could be described by a set of rules","I have a certain thought which is like the following: it is a matter of perception; it is the matter of the perception of the mind which is always pre","I want to create a world for you. I don't want to be able to communicate with you. I want to be the creator. I don't need to communicate with anyone. ","I'm still a little nervous about the whole thing. I think it's really good to have it. I'm getting a lot out of it. But I'm not sure about the process","I am a very good, very good listener. I listen to everything. I have a very good memory and I remember everything. I am a very observant person. I am ","I am looking at the bottom of the glass. The glass is a circle. The circle is a polygon. I know that, but the circle is the set of all points. And in ","I'm a realist and an idealist and a constructivist. It's a constructivist approach to understanding reality that is necessary for me. And also an unde","I have a problem with the use of the word 'know'. If I know something, what do I know? I have a problem. I know that I know. And I know that. What","and then the second time I'll do it again, and then the third time I'll do it, and I'll do it a few more times, and then I'll stop. This is just","I am thinking of something that I had done, and the thing that I have done is that I've had a very large family, and I've had many, many children, and","And then it occurs to me that I have to find out what is going on inside of a black hole. And I have to go to some of these extreme astrophysical situ","the idea that it's just the kind of thinking, as if the brain is some kind of computer, that has these kinds of structures, where you're running on a ","and then, I was just about to go into a 2-D space where I could do a number of different things, but I wasn't sure how that would actually work. So, i","I'm talking about the things that we can use. Because of the nature of this project, we need to be able to make measurements of things that are in the","I don't know why I'm sitting here. I'm here because of the fact that I don't want to make the decision that I have to go to sleep because it's only th","[00:35] ...I just wrote: [1] [2] [3] [4]. ... And now I think about this in this way: [00:4","what's the matter? ... is this a normal process? ... or something strange? ... a few minutes before I started, I was thinking that this should be done","a new computer. ... a new computer... that will be more advanced in some sense than the one you have. ... it will be a more powerful computer... it wi","what is a plane, if not an isomorphism between points of a 2D space, and the positions of the 4 wheels of the plane, or the positions of a single whee","I've never seen any other place with the same level of detail. I'm not sure how they got to it. It seems to have been done by a kind of wave that got ","the most obvious is the idea of the shape, the basic idea of the circle, the circle being the most regular form that is, the one that has the least de","the second, which is a cube, the two sides, the two triangles, they're both the same. You have the same distance, the same measure of the height. And ","The first part is the initial condition. The initial condition is the space. The first thing that comes is a space. We have a space. There is a space ","then I thought that there's this kind of symmetry. So in this case, it is possible that the sum of the three terms is zero, and then the second term i","and then I look up at the sky and it's clear, I look down to see if I'm still on the ground, and I look up again at the sky. It's still clear,","we got some of the same pictures as we did the first time and they are all at the same time so we have a picture of a guy sitting in a chair with a ha","there are two circles of different diameter, one in the middle and the other outside, and the middle one is larger. And we are going to take them to i","I have to put the rest of the tape back together. The two pieces of tape are too far apart and I have to get them to come together and then I can do t","and I'm thinking of a picture. It's a picture of a circle with a small square in it, and a line in the circle and it's a circle with two circles in it","there's a cat sitting on a stool, and the cat's having its fur shaved by a barber. It's getting cut off with a razor, so there are these little tufts ","my two glasses. ... I look at this glass and that glass, and I see the inside of this glass is filled with water, and this one is filled with air, and","... and a ... a ... a picture ... a picture of a ... of a ... a wheel ... a wheel of a ... wheel ... of ... of ... a ... of ... wheel ... wheel ... a","and it's all about the speed of light, which is always constant. So if I go half as fast, the light goes half as fast. The light's speed is 186,","I want to be a pilot. And I want to fly a plane around in the sky. I want to take the plane up into the sky and go all the way to the moon. But,","so the question is, what is the meaning of life? What is the meaning, what is life? What's life? The meaning of life. What is it? ...I've been thinkin","And the first word that comes to my mind is... well, it's very strange, I can't remember it. But it is something... I think it was 'at' at the end of","[I]n the first place, I should say I am in bed, because I am lying down. And now I should say, I am in a room, because the bed is in a","Oh, a bit of a fog now; the fog is lifting. A little bit of a sound; a sound here. Oh, there's a sound, isn't there? Now this is a","this is a good idea. This is what I call a good idea.... there are a lot of good ideas floating around in the universe. I was wondering. ... I was won","the difference between an abstract and concrete thing. An abstract thing is that which does not have the properties of the concrete thing, that is to ","The word, the word that you want, the word of the word, the Word. Yes, the word is the Word. And the Word is the word, and the word is not the word","I have got it. A long, long time ago I was thinking of something which had happened in the past. The memory was formed and I could recall it. When I r","the way one goes about saying a thing is like the way one goes in saying the letters of a word. But it is not as easy to say a word as it is to say th","and here they were again, the same old words. Now what had I wanted to write? Oh yes. The first letter is S. I began to think about the word 'Socrates","and there I am, in this room, and you're looking at me. You're looking at a pair of eyes, and in my eyes is a room. A room filled with thoughts. You","you are looking at a girl with a beautiful blue dress. You can see a red ribbon at her waist and a green flower at the top of her hair. And there is a","and I'm going to write this down now, I'm going to put this down on paper, it's very nice, very nice, and I'm just going to say, 'this is lovely","but I know that one of my great-grandfathers is in the United States, and it is not his portrait that I will draw, but that of another, who was his br","And we saw a lot of small things that looked like rocks but were really flowers, and I thought of that verse from the Psalms, and I was thinking, what","and a little bit of red in the snow, and a little snow on the trees, and little birds and little bees and little frogs in the water. And, what is that","a man's walking along a path in the woods, and there are great trees around him, and the sun shines in, and it's winter, and he's got a long stick, an","there are a number of things in the room that we haven't seen before today. One of them is that bookcase, I believe, and that's a bookcase. Now I'm go","all the people who live in the house...there are nine people in the house. There's a little girl in the middle of the back and the other little boy is","now I'm thinking of a little child's game, one of those little children have at their games, where they call out the name of a girl or a boy and he's ","there are a lot of birds flying. The wind is blowing in the tree tops. There's a bird nest high in the tree, and all the little babies are playing. It","I'll try it, and I'll think about it... It's a funny thing... a funny thing, it's a funny kind of thing, a funny kind of animal, it's funny,","there are four of us. There was four of us, and now there are only three of us. Why did that happen? That's strange. We've always had four of us - you","[the child] comes in here with a little doll, and...[the child picks up the little doll] ...and then it opens it up and it has a big mouth, and it's","the little bird... the little bird sings. The little bird is singing. And the little bird is little... and the little bird's singing. The little girl ","I don't know, I don't like it... no, no, no I don't want to. I'll never have anything but a mouthful of that... I can't eat it,","and I thought I'd say, you'd never guess who I've been with. But he wouldn't come out. He was just going to come in, I was going to say, 'You","I'm talking to my dad and he's saying, 'what's he saying?'... I was writing to my grandma... She was my best friend and...I can't find my...my pencil","And that's the story of the man, and the cat and the woman and the dog... and the snake... and the bird... and the mouse... and the catfish... and the","I'd like to have a little, a little, oh, here we are, a little house. Oh, what a pretty little house it is. It's just the right size, and it","you can't have anything but what's right for you...there's no...it's no good if it's not right for you, and if it's right for somebody else, it's not"],["I'm working on a research project on the use of cognitive restructuring for chronic pain management. The cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown t","I have a really vivid dream where I have a very nice relationship with someone. And then we get in an argument, and I think that the reason why this i","you know, this is the first time that I'm going to actually say out loud that I'm here, you know, for me, this is going to be a very, very interesting","the... the... the... how is the world?... how is everything, how is the... how am I?... I am well, I feel good, but I'm a little worried about","And then the problem is that there's always the next person, and we get stuck on the next person and then we're all kind of stuck, because we never re","I think this is the worst of all, because it's not just the same, it's not the same for me. It's not the same thing. It's the same thing, but I","The first is the one I'm going to put on. So that I have to take a very good look at it because I'm going to make some choices. So I'm going to look f","and then it's just like you're seeing it through the wrong end of the lens and everything is upside-down, it's like this is how you would see it if yo","you can see it, you can see the building, the building is there, it's just the shadow of the building is blocking it. And you can see in the middle of","I am trying to think of a word to describe the relationship of this painting to the other paintings in the room. I've seen them all now but I didn't s","there is an apple and an orange and a banana. Now the banana is an orange, but the apple is still an apple. They are not the same thing anymore. ... T","the words that the person is writing out of the brain, the words are written on a piece of paper. Now that is what is in the brain. This is what you a","a big bag of coffee beans ... and ... I wonder what is ... that's a bit ... too ... abstract ... it's too abstract ... I don't ... have enough ... con","that the meaning of a word is the result of our experience, or the experience of others, with that word, or with the category it belongs to, or with o","... ... ... ... The next thing I thought is, there's nothing but this is an activity of thinking, that's the next step, or, that is, the next step in ","it's a very interesting topic, because it's a phenomenon that is, to my mind, related to the topic of consciousness, that we are all conscious, we are","the two men are engaged in a battle and one of them is attacked by a third, and in that battle, the two men would try to save each other, and so there","and then I will go down a couple of levels and I'll go into the lower half of that structure and I will start to look at the lower levels of that stru","The two words [that] are connected. The word is not connected with the word. The word does not say, 'I am connected with the other word.' But if we sa","now we have some thoughts that are a bit more abstract and are just more complex, more abstract. I think one could also say that they are more complex","what is a theory of consciousness? There's a lot of theory about it. There is an internalist view, which is that consciousness is an attribute of the ","I'm trying to work out what the hell you're doing here. You're in this position, you're talking about this, what's it all about? You're in the middle ","this is an experience in consciousness, an experience of awareness, a subjective experience that is an aspect of consciousness. It's a description of ","this is a very important thing, but I can't understand the mechanism by which this occurs. I have not found a satisfactory description of the mechanis","I have an intuition that if the mind is divided into a lot of parts, and a person is to be said to have a mind, then the person is going to have a lar","we have the sensation that it is possible to be in the same place, the same situation, at the same time, and yet to be two people, in a way that we ca","you're an ego, you're an entity. And this ego, as you say, is something which has its own interests. So you say that an ego can be interested in other","the three worlds. And they were all different. The first one was the physical world. This is the world which I have the direct sensory experience of, ","And I said to myself, I'd like to be in this room. I'd like this to be my room. I am this room, and I am its occupant. And now the question","Now I've got this idea that there are these little black boxes, and each box is associated with a number. There is a set of rules governing how the bo","I don't understand this. I don't want to understand this. What am I trying to understand? The things that pass through my mind? Maybe I'm just trying ","I was thinking that you can't see a right triangle, and yet its two legs and hypotenuse can be seen. And it seems to me that these three objects have ","two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twe","13, 15, 19, 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, ..., 1, ...,","and then we are at a certain point, and we get a bit of a problem, and then we just carry on, and then the whole thing just sort of unwinds, and then ","104023077095080014134693215480711138684","1+1+1=3 2+2=4 1+2+2+3=8 2+1+2=5 1+3=4 2","it's a little bit too small ... this is the third dimension ... you have to get to the 4th dimension ... and now I can see this ... now I have a littl","I am here, I am here, here, here. I am here. I see an image of a very high tree, very big tree, like a pyramid, or like a mountain, something","The three points of a triangle ... the length of the sides ... I draw ... then the sides of the triangles ... I can make it bigger and smaller by chan","and then I get out of the water, I get out, then I jump into a car. I jump into the car, and I drive, and I see a truck on the road, and","and then I think of it being the opposite, that it's like a ball on a string, and the string is the line, the line is the string. And then, instead of","I think I remember the person who gave me the thing. She's tall, with a big hairdo... but then the hairdo is different from what it was a week ago, be","and this is what I do when I'm writing a paper. I take a sheet of paper. And I start out with this little dot. And then I get my pen and I go down on","5014 ... 2538 ... 7083 ... 3158 ... 4988 ... 0078 ... 805","... 36.1.6.4.6.15.14.5.10.6.7.2.6.3.8.9.3.","the [subject's] thought is about his own thoughts, his own experiences and so on. The [subject] sees that the thought is an object, that the thought t","I've just noticed that the sum of the squares of the first 32 primes is a number which ends with a string of 14 1s. I'm not sure I can prove","the process of thought is not very efficient: it tends to produce long chains of thought. As the number of elements in the chain increases, the time r","now, we're in a square, and a line that goes through the center of the square. And the line is defined by two points. We want to find the length of th","I see the number 211, it's a very beautiful number. I see the square of 21. It's a rectangle which contains 441 cells. Now I want","and I see the big guy in the center, and he's got the big face. And his face is, oh, this is the head. This is the top of the head. It's","I'm sorry you're upset. We'll have to change the plans. If we start with this then we'll get to this one. We'll get to that one. That's one point of","I would like to say that we have not finished the research in our society, we have not reached our goals, because we are still living in 2007. We shou","and the other part is not well-known, I would say that a lot of people have to be familiar with it. The one on the left is not, it's a lot of what we ","but i mean what about the others like the others that like you have the same name and the same things but they're different because of the way you sai","(something about) a world of particles, a world of elementary particles, electrons, quarks, and they have no structure. So they have no internal degre","the light, I was saying, that the light of the world. The light of the day, the light of a light bulb, the light which we have in our day-to-day, the ","and I was thinking of the number pi, and it came up to the mind that we can write the number pi as 22 divided by 7, and the reason that we are able to","it's the 37th year now, 2016, I have had 37 years, I am 37, it's 2020, 3","I'd be happy to hear how this thing is. I'd be happy if they came out of this thing and it was a different thing, and it was made of something else, b","and I just know I'm going to die on this journey. It's like I've been dying, and I'm on the journey to my own funeral, and I've got the whole thing in","I've never had sex. I'd like to. But I don't want to, I don't know how. I know that when you say 'no' it's possible for me to say","(and) the thing that has been most frustrating for me (about) this whole thing (is) this concept of time, of course. (This) is the one thing that make","but what about when we use a computer? We can imagine a computer being programmed to do all this. In fact, if we go back to the beginning we see that ","so then you have these two things which are complementary: the things that you can directly perceive, and the things that are just concepts. But these","it's like being in a tunnel, in a tunnel of some sort. And when you come out, then you see everything around you. I think that's a bit of what I'm doi","It seems to me that this is a picture of the eye that's seen from the other side. As you would say, if you turn the picture around so the white is fac","I see a half-plane. The boundary between this half-plane and the half-plane to which this half-plane is orthogonal is a sphere with radius 2. This hal","[S]o I think the two lines intersect at the center of the circle, the center of our universe. The two lines are actually parallel and they intersect a","I'll be glad to show you, this is the first part, I can show you what it is like, and then I can show it you again. I'll do a little experiment that s","so the light goes out, and the earth is completely black, and that means we are completely black in terms of energy. Then if the earth starts spinning","The square is now one. I have to say what it is, and it is now one, and the line is now one and the square is now 1 squared. It is not the same","now there's a few people who are running in circles. So they're running around. And then you got a couple who are doing circles. And they're going to ","oh, I see, oh, oh, I just think it's a flat thing, just one straight thing, the straightest possible straight line, oh, and we have all these other li","and, and I am just, I am, I am just the whole thing, and I'm just the whole, the whole thing. And the whole thing is just a bit, a point,","I can see the same things as I can in the visual sense. I can see a black circle, I can see, and it's like an ellipse and the other one is like a perf","I wonder, in what way, is the mind like the brain? ... I think it is similar. I mean, the mind has a similar structure to the brain, and a similar fun","that is a whole other topic. Oh, we also have to think about the environment we're going to place the atoms in. I mean, how do we know that atoms have","and he [the philosopher] was a good guy, he was a great guy, he had a lot of good ideas. And one thing is, is that it's very hard to do philosophy,","but you see, the reason why we don't know the answer is because we don't understand the question. That's the difficulty in the mathematics. And that's","and the universe, and it is the most interesting thing ever because when you say what you are doing, it is impossible to do what you are saying becaus","I just noticed the line was in front of my eyes, not above them. That's what I wanted, wasn't it? If you draw a line on the board, you can see the lin","and it was going to be a beautiful day. I could see the whole world. I could feel it. There were no clouds. All was visible. A lot of light, a lot of ","and the square root of two, and that's, it's irrational, it's not a fraction, but it's not whole, it's, I mean, it's an, you know,","The difference of the derivative of sine is cosine, but the difference of the difference of sine is -sine. The difference of the sine of the angle is ","is this an icosahedron? No. It's a triangle. How many triangles can you make? A triangle, a square, a pentagon, a hexagon, a hept","I have to think a little, just so I can see... Oh yes, here's a dot... I know, I know, it's a dot and it's... Oh, it's not","I was going to say 'zero' and 'one' and 'two' and 'three' and 'four' and 'five' and 'six' and 'seven' and 'eight'","but in the meantime I was just thinking about some of the other things I can think of that might have to be taken into account for the calculation of ","130.196.251.90 ...127.0.0.1 ...172.26.194.48 ...1","this is the limit of my power and you can see that this is a small circle. And this is my power. The other circle is bigger and this is a circle. And ","there is no absolute zero temperature. This is a very profound point in science. One could say that it is as in physics the whole point. The idea that","It's been a long time since I did a Think-Aloud Study, and the first thing I noticed was that the thought was a lot more complex and in more ways than","[The] 5th dimension is not just an abstract mathematical concept: it is also the next level of consciousness. And the 6th dimension is the next level,","the first part of the number 5 is the same as the first part of the 25... it's the same as this... here is the same as 100... we can","[S]ummary is the central concept of what we do... I mean, we could do it for the rest of our lives, but what is the essence of all this? I can't","This is a sentence. It's a statement. It's not a question. This is a question. A statement, a statement, a question. It's about the world. This is an ","then there's the problem of time. You can see that, with the relation of a series, you can get to any point of the series in a finite number of steps.","and then we got to the point where they're getting very, very, very close and then they begin to get a little bit further away from their own point of","the sky has no horizon, because the earth is a sphere of infinite extent, or is infinite. The sun is a point at a great distance from the earth. The e","I have a great deal of interest in the future. The future is a new and wonderful place in which one can go and in which there are new possibilities an","the fourth, is an idea of a god that has all of the powers that can be imagined. And yet, this idea is itself imperfect, for there is no limit to what","the particle 'the' in English is one of the few particles which is not arbitrary in its usage. We can't create the word 'the' out of nothing. The word","and all these are really points in a straight line, and I can't say there's any other kind of relation between these points, I can only say there's so","and so, it seems to me, that the more general laws of nature will be expressed, the more general the phenomena and the more general our knowledge, the","I was going to tell you something about how the mind works. The mind, I suppose, is an assembly of functions, some of them of a very simple kind, some","my arm was moving and I noticed that I was thinking of a thought and a thought was occurring at the same time and that it was not happening at the sam","we can see the figure of the circle with a great difficulty, that is, the form is clear. The circle is formed by points of the circumference that have","a little girl is thinking of her mother, and saying, 'I want to go back to the house of my mother, I want to go there. And now I am here, here is the","I know that the number 1/2 can be written as a series of decimals, 0.5, 0.49, 0.4888... In order to","there is a lot of times that I make things, I don't know what's it, but there is a very, very, very ... it is an imaginary sphere, and it's a sphere","there's something in the sky. And if you were to take this piece of paper, and you were to make the paper a bit, and you start taking this piece of st","the line of the triangle... I am in the triangle... the lines... I have a line in the middle of the screen. ...this line... I am standing on this line","and now it's time for a change, a change that we must make. I will get into a place that is not on the surface of the earth. I will take myself in a d","a new word, in the middle of a word. 'No' and then a word, it will have to be the middle of something. It is the beginning of a word that I have to","I'm saying some words and I can feel them... in my head. The words... are... moving in my head, but they're not moving in a linear way, but I can stil","The sounds are in the back of the head and the sound of the back of the mouth is in the front. So the sounds come in from the front, are reflected by ","this is the image that comes up in my head of the five squares of the square pyramid. So the four sides, if I want to see it in a way, I can see that ","it's going to be an interesting game. I'm going to move the image here, and it will reflect that. And the reflection will move the image in the opposi","I remember something, something that I remember. I was working with a kind of matrix and I had something here (he circles a circle). This is the point","I feel the sensation of the sun in the palm of my hand. The sensation is warm. The sun is a light. It is yellow, it is yellowish white, it is warm, it","3. I can see a 4. 6. a 6. 7. 6, 2, 3, 10 6. The numbers are the coordinates","it looks like a bird, but it is a fish ... it looks like fish, but it's a bird. It's like a bird ... it's a fish ... oh, it's a frog","and then I remembered that I was in a movie. I was a character in a movie, but I had no idea what the movie was, just that I was a character. And the ","and it was 1604, and it was spring. It was spring, and the sun rose in the east, and the moon rose in the west. It was night, and it","we have to make a decision...yes, I know, I don't have to do anything to the problem...just take a moment or two to consider what is going on here...o","and the man... and the man on the right, he's standing... he's a man, he's got a hat on... and he's looking at something... it's a person, it","and in a short time, I went to the ocean, and the water was calm and blue, and in the air was a mist and there was a wind. And I was standing on the t","and in that moment I became an inhabitant of this planet, a thing like the rocks and trees. A thing that does not move. It was not so much a point of ","a girl with red hair, in a field of flowers, the sky blue, she stands up, and holds up the flowers she was holding, then they fall from her hand, and ","then I'm gonna take a nap, and I'm gonna wake up, and I'll see it, and then I'll remember, and then it'll be all over. The whole thing will be","I think we might have a big circle or an ellipse, but that doesn't fit. Maybe a rectangle. Yes, a rectangle, that's it. Oh, there's a square on top.","A tree of love, and all its branches are intertwined, and its roots are intertwined, too. All the branches are intertwined. I mean, branches, like, in","this is my tree. It's big and brown and green. I put the tree in the window. I see the sun and I see the clouds. I see clouds over the tree. There is","And this is a fish in the sea, and it's floating in the water. And it's floating down, down, down... And the water is green... And it's the beginning ","a door that swings open, like a door at a circus. And inside it's full of yellow flowers, and there's a tiny little rabbit, and he's got a little hat,","I am a little girl. I am a girl with two dogs and a cat. And a bird, and a rabbit, and a bear. And a cow and a horse and a camel and a","the air... there's a dog... there's a small tree... a big tree... there's no water... a cloud... there's blue sky... it's a bird... there's an owl","there is a man, a tall man, a blue man, a man with a beard, a man who has a beard and wears a hat, a tall blue man with a hat and a beard","it's just like a big river, with all sorts of different colours and things in it, but they all mix together, and some of the little coloured bits of w","you can't say the same thing over and over again. You can't say it, it has to change a bit, it has got to be different. You can't change it so much.","now I'm thinking of a couple of little birds, and one of them is on a branch, and the other is sitting on a tree and then the little bird is singing, ","my memory is bad. It's hard to remember. And sometimes, I go and remember, and then I'm not sure if it's the right one. I've been trying to remember..","I see a square and a circle and a triangle. ... and it looks like a fish... I can't draw it, but I can think of it, I can imagine it. ... A fish","the idea of the song, I think, came from the first thought - I'm going to the store - and that's the first verse. And the next thought was, I went to ","I am sitting in a garden with a dog, and the dog is pulling me up the garden by the tail and my foot is stuck in a bush. And I see a boy running over.","a tree trunk that has a lot of rings, the tree has grown up and the rings are around and around the tree trunk and that's what the rings are for. It's","... ... ... ... [pops] ... ... [beep] ... ... ... ... ... oh. (sound of wind) ... ... ... ooh! ... ... ... (sound of feet)","It was a small plane. ... We took off from an airport. It was a big airport. We landed on a beach. ... The plane was upside down, and we were on a bea","and then there was this place that was like a big cavern and there was a huge hole in the ground and there was this big white horse and it was like th","what's wrong with me? I feel like there's something inside me, and it's not right. It's not the way I'm supposed to be. But I don't know what. But","now the sun's coming up...there's a light in my head...and there's a bird...and a bird's... a bird's singing and i'm a bird... and my eyes are","and when I was little I had a big big big...big...big big big...[laughs] big big big big big ... big big big. Big big big. It's a big big","and there was this man in a white suit. And he was singing, and he was singing with his guitar. And I could see him with his eyes closed, and I could ","I saw this, this thing, this thing with the face of a little boy, and the big thing, the big thing with the wings, the big winged thing. I don't know ","I'm holding this bottle of water in my hand. It has a lot of water in it and it's got a red label. And on the end it's got this little bit of a tongue","we have been to a party...the girls came out with the first few steps...and they were dancing to 'The Pink Panther'...but when they started to do the ","a man and a dog standing on a bridge and a girl, and the girl's name is... and he's her boyfriend. She's jumping off the bridge. And the dog is... (s","[he] was riding on his bike and then the bike had a wheel fall off and then he was going up hill and then the wheel fell off again and then he stopped","you know that's the one where it was a lady in a little blue car and it was like a little pink one, and they had the little, I dunno, I don't know wha","and now she's laughing and then she says: 'No! You're not my friend.' and she's running off and I'm screaming: 'No, no, no, don't go!'","I got a great idea. I can make a big mess of you. I could make you a big mess. I could. I could get my arms around you and push you on to the floor","and that's it. And then the boy walks in, with his long legs. And she sits down and puts her feet on the boy's legs and says, 'Shove 'em up!'","you have a pen, you have to write it down. You got a pen, do you know I have a pen. I can't think of it. I can tell you I've got a","now I have a terrible idea! It's the next sentence! 'But, when, when, if she did say she's got a baby, then why on earth isn't she on her feet","I am writing to a man named Donald, who lives at 15 West. I've sent him a letter before, but it was too long. I'm not sure I will be able to","And it's not the other way round. I'm going to be a good wife if I go out tonight. It's a terrible thing to think of, isn't it? I think it's","I can't help thinking what a happy child I was for those four years. I had so much fun, and such lovely dresses! I wore a lovely pink dress, and a hat","It's the same here. I wish it were different, but I don't know how. I've been wishing it for years, but I've never been able to do it. I feel the","this is the way the world is, the way it is, I believe. And it will never change. What can we do with this knowledge, and with it? Can we do something","the first was the most important. That was the first time I was able to be in the water. I was so afraid, and I felt so helpless. I couldn't move. I j","And the idea of this machine...well, it's a little too complicated for me. But I'd like to put my head on the machine, so that it can connect itself t","and then you have these little bubbles in the water, and the water is the black stuff and the bubbles are the white stuff. And so if I look at the bub","what's the name of this guy I met? That's right! He's called Oleg. I think he was born in a village, but I'm not sure. But his name is O","and I remember going back to the place where we came from, and going in and out of the little house, the little room with the three windows and the fo","that's why we've got to come here, and why I've got to make a map, and why we've gotta come back here, because it's like we're trying to go down to","it's not like a movie or anything. it's like, you know, in the dark. i guess in a movie you could see all these things that come in front of you but h","we don't get in to a lot of trouble. We don't get killed. I'm going to take a chance and say I'm not going to die. I'm not a great painter.","I had been thinking about the water. The water's there, but I'm not quite sure I have anything to do with it. But that's what I do. I don't know. That","it's so easy, it's so simple to think. I don't know what it is. It's like the light of a lamp. If you were to cut the lamp and put it in","and the sound is from inside the room, and I'm sitting on a chair, and I can't see very well. And the room is like a room with no windows. And I can't","And you can do that too, because you are me. But you are not me, and I am not you. We are not. We are. We are both me and you. We both","I remember when we used to ride my bike in the dark and I'd stop in a tree to talk to the tree. The tree would just be still and listen to my voice. B","it's all so much fun! I feel like I'm in a fairy tale. There's a great big tree and you can climb it and up and up you go and up and up and finally","this is a garden, with all sorts of flowers. It's in a dark part of the woods. I can see it's a garden, because there are flowers everywhere. There ar","the house was white and the trees were all yellow and the birds were singing and the grass was green and I was walking along the road with a hat in my","so he is walking along the road and he finds a big, old, gray stone door that is half open and he says, 'Who can I talk to that has this door?' so he ","it's the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the waves crashing in the bay, like the sound of a machine-gun, like the rumbling of thunder, like ","now I'm going to go into the house and I'm going to put my shoes on and I'm taking them off and then I'm going outside and I'm going in the bushes and","I remember going to a place with some people I knew. It's a big park with lots of trees and grass and I like to walk on the grass with my toes. It's m","a boy, a girl, a boy, a boy a boy a girl, that is all I see, that is a all I hear, all I hear a girl a boy, that is what","the big blue sky...we've been going in circles and I can see the sun and the water is so blue and I'm thinking of the fish and the sun and how nice th","the two of us walking down the street and the little girl in front of us... and she's talking to somebody and I see a dog on the other side of the str","this is a little girl and she's about four years old and she's sitting in the middle of the bed and she's looking at the baby and she's trying to help","and he said, 'I'm not going to get out of the bath tub, and I'm going to sit here till I'm cold. I'm going to make my own little boat out of","I am sitting in a big room with big round windows. I am looking out on the grass. There is a tall tree, and I can see a red car on the hill. Then I he","and then one of my neighbors came by. He was the man in the red vest with the red boots. I was running home from school because I was late and the nei","[I]f I could come over here, we'd all be so happy...there's a light and a fire in it. And I'd take it back in...[the] fireplace.","a cat. No, it's a mouse. No, a cat. I see it chasing the mouse, running after him, running after her, jumping up, up, up. Yes! The","and I went to the park... and saw a frog and he had a blue and red cap on... and he was going to jump... into the water. But the grass was so long tha","there is an owl, and it's out hunting, and a little squirrel, and it tries to catch the squirrel, and he runs over a twig, and then he catches it, and","there's a boy there with a green dress and he's standing in a field, and he's got a flower in his hand and he's walking around, and she's a little gir","and you get up and you go outside. And the door is open. And you walk outside. You go up the hill and you walk up the hill, and then you come down the","and I think that I think I think I'm a big dog and the wind blows and my feet are wet, and the water is coming in, and it's getting in my eyes and it'","and the wind, the wind is blowing the snow up into the trees and it's all blowing it up into the trees. The wind, the big, the big wind is blowing all","now I'm going to eat this big bowl of noodles for dinner. I want to make a big salad and then we can go and play with my friend, the horse. We're goin","[thinking of a memory] this is it ... [pause] I can see the trees in the valley, and the sunlight on the snow ... [pause, then] I can hear the little ","I know I've got to get back home, to go home for supper. My mother made me a special cake once, she used to make it with strawberries. My father used ","and it's a lot like, you know, like, like that story, like that song. I don't know what they call it, that story that's about that boy with the girl i","Oh, here's one. Oh, no, I can't remember anything now. Oh, I'm starting to get thirsty. I got some water in a cup. Oh, oh, oh,","Oh. What did I have in my hand? Oh, that's good. I want to draw a little picture for you. Okay, so I'm gonna make a little picture. And this is","And the dog looks at me, and I see him and he's trying to eat something and he's not eating it, and he's looking at the grass. He's not eating the gra","It's like, it's like a whole bunch of different things that go together. I mean, like, it would be like if I was gonna have, you know, a really, reall","the cat's gonna' come and kill the rat!...I'm gonna get a rat!...but the cat's gonna kill the rat....I'm gonna make a cat and a rat....I","my hair is red and then it turns black and it's a beautiful red and it's like a pretty pretty girl and then she has a big long hair and then her hair ","a yellow shirt ... it's yellow, it's a yellow shirt, it's yellow ... I'm wearing it, I'm wearing a yellow shirt. It's a yellow ... it's a green and","oh, and the girl in the red dress... she's got the red hair too, and a big nose and... she's standing in a puddle of water... and she's got a blue","uh uh oh I can't remember what I was saying about I just said that I was going to put the cup on the table and then I went to put the coffee cup on th","I'm in the car on the way home, and the phone rings, so I pick up, it's my sister, and I said, 'Hello, hi', and she's like, '","[the]... [the] ... the... the... [the sound of a car] ... the car ... the... [a train horn]... the... the train... [the train horn","my thoughts were all about the trees. they were all about trees. i was looking at a tree. i saw a tree with a small red apple. it looked like a small ","oh! Oh! Oh! oh! Oh oh oh oh! Oh. Oh! Oh, oh oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, Oh, oh! oh! oh oh oh oh","I wonder how long it will be before I feel like having some cheese?...I wonder if the sun is out...I wonder how the baby will feel if I give it a litt","and when they went away the rest of them were in there. So I was scared of him. But he was the best one, and he was good to me. I told the boys I was","and I thought I had to go and tell him, I said, 'I'll tell him when I get home,' and he said, 'Don't be afraid, you'll be all right,'","and then there was an angel with white hair... and she was sitting on a branch of a big tree. Her wings were open wide and she was singing so sweetly ","the sun, the sun, in a cloud. A rainbow, a rainbow, and then a sun, but the sun is too bright, it hurts my eyes, it hurts so much. So,","and it is a little girl and it is singing and it is saying a song. I can see it and the words are coming to me and it is pink and the words I cannot s","I wonder why I can't say the same words. And then I think I must be trying to make it easier to understand, because I can't tell him the whole story. ","and I want to see if we can come up with any names. I'm going to see if I can come up with something first, then if you can't come up with one, I'll","I'd like to do a little more of this. You see that line? I'd like to use it and turn it into a circle. It's a little bit like a balloon, a circle","and then it all kind of started to fade out in the air. Like I had some kind of... something sort of like a light and it went up in the sky, and I... ","the word, I, comes out as the symbol I, but I think I see something like this, like a little I, and it's in the middle of the circle, and I have to","we'll be going to the kitchen to get a glass...a big glass to drink water...we're going to fill the glass...and then I'll hold it up...and I'll...I","... I've got to go to sleep. ... I don't know what to do. ... ... ... ... I can't stop thinking ... about all these words I can't read. ... I wonder","oh, no, I can't do it now... it's not... oh, I'm going to get into a whole lot of trouble... I'll be late for school... I'll have to","my heart... my heart, I love you, I love... I love you my heart! I love... Oh I love... My love, my love, my... My love.... My love!","and, you know what? I'll take you to see the mountains. And I'll take pictures and tell you all about the mountains. You're going to be my little moun","I had a dream last night.... I was with the mother of a friend... and we were talking about a lot of things, and we were laughing. I remember laughing","it is the same as the rest of my body, it's a good body. The best. It is just like the rest of them. It is good. But my hand is a bit bigger","and we came here because he was looking for you and we could not find you anywhere, and so we came to look for you. He looked at the sky. 'Look, you a","you have a lot of knowledge and you want to teach it, so that you can give it to someone else. You want to teach people, you don't want to be alone an","this is a beautiful, beautiful thing, to have a voice, and to be able to speak. A beautiful thing for us all. It is a beautiful thing, and I have a vo","The past is never lost, but preserved forever in memory...in memory. How is it preserved? The past lives in the present, the present is the past...And","I have a presentiment, a presentiment of a future in which all my thoughts are broken off, and they have their home in me. And in this world the creat","I've had a dream lately. I've seen things that can't be seen, I've heard things that can't be heard. I've felt things that can't be felt, I've known","in this universe of the sky, of the ocean, of the mountain. The earth is an immense living organism, the living sea. The whole of the universe, everyt","I have a dream of the perfect woman. She is a woman who is a goddess and she is the personification of love and she is beautiful and she is a goddess ","I am very happy for you, and you will have to work hard to get him back. You will have to make him remember you and all your other children and to for","I'm afraid to die, I'm afraid to do it because if I were to die it would mean that I would no longer be able to see you and love you with the same lov","I am walking up the stairs, I can see myself on the floor, I can smell the hot blood that flows down the floor from my wound. The pain, the pain... Th","it's so beautiful out here, I thought I could die if I heard that noise again, you know the sound of my voice, because it's my own voice that was call","it was just me and him there in the room with him, and I don't know if he knew what he was doing, but he was looking right at me, and he was just movi","I think I love him a lot. I can't see him, or I can't speak to him, not speak to him and he doesn't know... I don't know, I don't","The sound is very loud...and it's...coming from everywhere...I can hear a voice saying: 'The sound is coming from everywhere, it's loud, very loud, li","the same. That's the same... But now it's more... It's more like... That... And now, it's a little more... It still seems the same but now it's...","there, there, there, and the fire, and the ... and the ... it's coming from the fire ... the fire ... and the wind and the fire ... it's burning ... a","a bird is singing, a bird is singing and my heart is in my throat. It is my heart beating like mad. A bird is singing. A bird is. The bird is singing ","the girl is in my dream and she's looking at me... and then the girl comes into my room and the girl is laughing... and then she... and then she goes ","I've got to make you think of someone who's good. And then you'll be all right. I know it!... You'll be all right, you're not a murderer! You'll","and so, that is the way, then, of course, a woman, she would always be a woman, and a man would be a man. But, they would never be like one another","I don't want to talk about it, but I'll tell you what it is... it's just that, when I saw you, I felt... well... I wasn't sure, but I","a great deal of my thoughts are of the past, of the past that was, that is, the past that can no longer be. ... I can never leave her, because I canno","now, as I try to explain it, it is a form of living, a life which is not real but which, like the life that is real, has its moments of agony and its ","I suppose I will see him some time or other. I cannot hope for more than that, though I should be glad to see him as a friend. I see no hope that I sh","I am trying to remember the name of this place we were in, which I don't quite remember. I can't say what it was, but I know it was some kind of count","I'm waiting for you in the black room. I don't know how I shall meet you, and I have no idea where to look. It may be that you are not to be found the","you don't have to worry, for the matter of that. They're all the same. The same as yourself, they are. So don't be frightened of them; it will serve n","it's very interesting that he should be alive, as if he had come back. But is it not more likely that he is dead and that I am simply thinking of him?","I've got to take off my clothes, and that's not exactly easy with my shoes still on. They're my only shoes, so it's a very trying task. My only shoes,","and I think we all know that, but I know it, and you know it, that's one of the things you know, that we're all dead, and that's the only thing we","the world. It's just you. And me. And no one else. You can't tell a thing, unless you say it. So why do you need to be so good at telling a","I can't even write this, I don't want to write this, it's like if you can't write down the feelings you had in your mind. They're too real, they're to","you don't know that it's going to be like that? I've been watching you all the time. I know that. I know exactly what you're doing. And I know that yo","And the good old days, the good old times. And now they're over and I can't find a way to make them come back again. And I've got to start living now.","It is a most important thing in life to be able to have the mind at one's disposal, to be able to do as it will. That is all; that is what it is to be","my mind is like a piece of cloth. The mind, when it is clothed with a garment, it becomes a thing, but the mind is the essence of man, the cloth is th","I am sitting here in a kind of darkened room. I can only just see the outlines of the things I am sitting on and the table that supports my body. It i","and then I was so very, very happy; I was very happy indeed. But then he got up, and he gave the order to fire, and all at once that happiness vanishe","You are standing in an open meadow, at the foot of a rock face. The sun shines down upon you, and you feel its rays all over your body, and feel yours","I am now in a room. A great room, like the Great Gallery of the Acropolis at Athens, with the sun coming in from the east, a brilliant white light, an","in the end. The end of the world. And when I came into the house again, I could not enter it. It was as if the door of the house had closed upon me, a","The shadow of the old tree fell over the path as the sun set in the west and the moon rose in the east. I am afraid, but there is nothing to fear. The","and I remember when I was little. I was in a hospital when I was sick, and my little sister. She was about four or five years old. She was crying, and","and the first was like a dream. I was in the house, and I was standing in the doorway of the house and I was looking in at the room and it was like a ","There was a great tree that hung in the air in the center of the field. It had a trunk like a column and branches that spread wide like an open hand, ","I think of all the people, you know, I know I think of some of the people and I think about how beautiful they are in the light, and I think they are ","there's a blue sky, with white clouds in it. They're like a thousand little mountains, or hills, and the sun is shining and it's cold. There's snow, a","It's a little bit of a weird, it's a little strange, I think of it as a little weird. But there's something a bit wrong about it. There's a little som","we're just in a world of sorts and we're moving in all these different ways. And we can choose to move in our own ways, or in the ways that the people","And I'm imagining all of this stuff, I'm thinking about the earth, I'm imagining the earth as if I'm looking down upon it, the earth is a great big ba","The earth's crust, in the middle of its crust, the continents, the continents are separated by a great sea and the continents, which have not the same","I see a woman's hand holding something up to her head, something shining, some kind of a jewel. She's a very pretty woman, with an exotic look. Her ha","I feel like I'm watching my own life and I'm kind of happy that I'm watching it, but then I look up to the top of my head and see that the sky has gon","the sun, it's always been my favorite thing... I could just stare at the sun all day and just be. I'm looking at the sun right now. It's so big, and i","and a part of me is sitting there in the middle of the ocean in a big space ship that's like a space station and it's made up of little people like th","and then this little guy, right here, who is actually in my hands. He is a little guy. He is standing in the air, and he is made of glass, and he's ki","The moon was made of green cheese. I could see it, I could taste it and I could smell it. I was very, very, very hungry. I was reaching for it. I coul","The garden is all around, the water, the trees, and the rocks, the blue, and the white, and the black, and the green and the yellow. It's the color of","And then, as if a light had come down, the image of a woman, so very, very beautiful. And she was walking down the beach, the sand and the water as wh","I've come here to meditate, but I've lost myself in thought. I can't see, I'm out of my mind, I'm mad, I'm a fool, I've lost","and we came here, the two of us, we came to look at this house. We were talking, I was telling him I was afraid, and I felt him moving towards me, tow","I was once a little girl who knew nothing and had never been given the slightest hint of my future. I did not know, as a child, how my life was to dev","I see myself, but it is like a dream that is coming to an end, and then I see myself in a great house, a great house in the sky. It is a wonderful pla","and I can't move them. They're like puppets. It's so easy to be a puppeteer. All you have to do is give orders to the puppeteers and they'll come","And suddenly a certain image comes to my mind. It's a very, very, very vivid image. It is a little child with a red bow in his hair, standing in a ver","and I feel as if I were going to be knocked down by a whirlwind of love, and my heart was breaking, but I did not feel that I was being struck, for I ","and then I had the thought that I'd rather die than live. I know that sounds very strong; it's not a strong thought, really; it's just that I'd never ","this is the way I'm thinking right now, this is the way my thoughts come. I think in images and pictures, and I think in words and in images and sound","I know I'm not alone, but I'm not sure I know who I'm with. I feel as if I'm inside a mind that doesn't belong to me, or perhaps I'm a","I am thinking, I have thoughts. I have the ability to have thoughts. If I have the thoughts, then I have to have thoughts, but I am not having thought","it is very strange and quite difficult for me to imagine the space between things. I can only imagine it as a plane, or a layer, or a screen that conn","It's not very much to the effect of what I am experiencing here. I do not know what to say. It's as if I were watching myself, as if I were outside of","I'm looking at a part of the sky, and I'm trying to name what I see. It's a large blue oval with a white center. It's like a plate, like an infinity","and we'll see this as a metaphor for the way we see the world. We have seen the world as a place of shapes and colors and patterns. We can see things ","this is a woman I see... I see her, her body is all right, her body... is all right but her face is so disfigured... and I cannot see her face because","a little bird that goes off on its own. That's the most interesting bird of all. It just flies off by itself, and it's so interesting. I was just goin","a huge, white cloud is floating, like a giant white elephant, and this elephant is slowly rising from the water. In the water, there is a great big bl","there's a thing you just have to do in order to get through it. I've got to think about it. I know that. I know. I've done it before. But I don","I am a man of the world, a man of experience, and a man of dreams. And I have found that in order to fulfill the dreams of a man of a world and experi","it's like a flame, it's a living flame, that's what a fire is, a living flame. It's not a chemical, it's not a molecule, it's like a living","I am a flower. I am a plant. I am an individual organism. I am a part of the world. I am part of the universe. I am everything. I am the universe.","now I see a very strong black line running through my consciousness, and I see it as an object in itself. The line has a sharp edge. I see that this l","this is just an empty space, this is just the possibility of becoming, of creating, of perceiving and of understanding, that this is the only thing we","in the case of the existence of the ego, or of a self, the question is one of whether the ego is real, whether the self is real, or whether the self t","you are thinking about this. What do you think? This is a question to yourself. What is it that you think about when you think about yourself? This is","my thoughts are like a stream of consciousness. I know I can think only of one thought at a time, but all the time there are a multitude of thoughts t","I've got it! I know what's happening to me, what I'm going through! It's a dream. A dream that has taken me up to the point at which I'm experiencing ","I'm listening to the sounds of the world, and I know that there is a mind in this world. I'm not listening to it, I'm listening in an objective way, t","and there are always going to be people who are more important in their lives than the people we think they should be. We always want more from our li","I think I'm going to die. I'm going to go in a flash and I'm going to end. And I'm going into a state of being that I never knew before. And it","I know that I am going to die, and I know that it's inevitable, and I'm going to be here for eternity. I feel that there are more important things tha","I'm watching myself. I'm watching myself...I'm watching my self. I'm not sure what I'm doing here. I'm just observing my self, I'm observing my self. ","a little bird says that the Earth is spinning on its axis, so I don't have to worry about the Earth stopping spinning and collapsing into itself. A li","now I am looking at the surface of a pond. There's the surface of the pond and then there's the light that's being reflected by the surface of the wat","and I'm thinking about that, that the time was that everything was one, and then everything divided, and then you got that what we see. The universe d","this is the other side of the mind. This is what happens when we go to sleep or go to dream or we go to a trance, and the other side is that this is t","in the beginning of creation of the universe, that there was no space and there was no time, and there was nothing and there was consciousness and it ","in this moment the heart is just here, but the heart is also in the world of the mind. So that the heart, it is not in any place, it is just a presenc","the memory of the past, it is this memory that is the matrix of my being, of my existence. Memory of the past is the matrix, the great matrix, the inf","I was playing with my brother in our backyard. I had a ball and my brother was chasing the ball. He chased the ball over this high ledge that led to a","I'm in the garden. There are plants. There are trees. It is a garden and a tree, but it is a garden of trees. They are all like trees but they are als","this is a thought, the thought that it's very interesting. In fact, it's quite interesting to experience the thought and to know that this is happenin","I'm having a conversation with my other self in a different part of my brain. I'm having this conversation with myself in my head, and there's this ot","I'm thinking about my body in here. And then I'm thinking, 'oh, I'm thinking in here,' which is interesting because I can see the body here, but then ","my right eye is moving. I'm moving my right eye. I'm feeling my right eye moving, and at the same time I'm moving it. It feels like a kind of rhythm, ","a lot of thoughts are going through my mind. I see things like the world, the world around me, but then they're just moving, changing. And the things ","the way to be is to be without resistance, without the sense of me and my being, that sense of resistance, and then you can move. It's like I'm watchi","I'm listening to a lot of different thoughts at the same time, like a lot of waves. And I can kind of feel them in myself, and they're very subtle, an","a point of light in the back of the eye, it was like a light in the eye, I could see the light. And then there was an image of light moving through sp","I know there's something that I don't know that I know. It's as if I have a sense of knowing something, but I don't have access to that. I see it in t","I think about the day I got out of bed. I can see it like a video, a movie. I see myself waking up, and I see myself going down the stairs, and I walk","I'm looking at a little girl who is not happy. She is sitting, and she is looking around. She's in a kind of a state of watching. She is looking at th","and we could talk about how this relates to the rest of your life. That would be interesting. There's a connection to the rest of our life, not just t","there's something that you are and what you are isn't the same thing as what you perceive to be, and there is something that you do and what you do is","this is what I want to think about now, but it's not quite ready yet. I'd like to know how to think about this. It is difficult to think about how to ","my mind is turning and I see in a flash, this idea that is a moment. It is a moment that is just like a moment that came before it. I know that it is ","I have seen the great work of the universe, and have found the creative principle. This is what it feels like when we are one with the creative princi","(In a dream) I had a very clear image of a girl in a large, dark room. She was about four feet tall, standing, facing me. She was not exactly naked, b","I see it. I see the man...and the man sees me. That is the mystery, that is the secret of the universe, that the man sees the man, and I see the woman","in this state of being, I am conscious of everything that I know, all at once, in a form which is like a kind of crystal. It is not the crystal that c","And I was like, 'How will I know the moment that the Universe is ready to open itself for me?' I have a sense that there is some point, and that the U","and if you, then you, too, would know, in a moment of time, that there is a universe, then you would know that there is no death, that there are no li","and so he says: 'Do you see anything, O One? You are my servant, do you see anything?' And the One says: 'O Lord, I see you as you are.'","And then the Great Beast of the Holy Ghost came in. And, as I said, 'Oh, God, the Great Beast!' And in the Great Beast, I saw the Great Beast coming.","there is a lot of power in these things, you know? It's like there's a force that's there, but you have to be careful, you know, because there is some","... a house made of honey... and light... ... ... ... ... (sound of distant bell) ... ... ... the light comes through the window and shines down on th","and I was going to be there, but I didn't make it, I was so tired. And I was going there for something that I was going to say. And now it's not even","it's really hard to imagine the process of making the decision. The universe, the entire universe, all the stars, is contained within that space of in","it is not in the least a part of the experience, and a part of my experience. But that which is in the least part of the mind is that which is most ce","and then I was up again in the air and I was flying and I was moving and I was on an island and the island was surrounded by water and the water was g","I think there's a good many people in the world that would be able to do this better than I am, and I have this idea, that the difference between the ","I am looking at something, looking at something on the right hand, at something that is to the right of this thing that is in front of me, a bit more ","a woman and a man in a tree house, in the center of it there's a tree, and one of the arms is a figure of a human body, and they're going to fly up","a tree is like a little house of many rooms. The rooms are all inside one another, and the rooms are like the rooms of the human body. The rooms in th","and I don't remember. But I don't think they'll be very long. And I wonder if I'd see any of them on a trip. And it was like this. You know how","and you and me, you and I, we'll have to go to the dance, don't we? I mean, I've been waiting for that dance. You and me, we'll go","there is a shadow. There is a shadow in the door. And in the door a woman. She is a shadow, a shadow on a door, a shadow in a door, and there is","you can feel that little tiny, little bit of light coming through in the little bit of darkness here. It's like a tiny little bit of sun shining throu","that's my mind, and I'm making it all up. ... I'm a mind that makes it all up for myself. And I am the mind that makes me up. ... My mind makes","and this is the beginning of it, is it not? It's beginning in the middle. It's coming back to itself. It's always in the middle of itself. I don't kno","we are all people who have to get up and walk on the ground... we all walk and live in the same place, and it's the same world in the same way that we","the voice of the Father... the Father, I know you know me, but the Father doesn't know me, the Father doesn't love me...the Father, I am a lover and y","The trees, and the flowers, and the leaves, and the earth, are the child of the Father, and the mother of the child, and the father of the child; for ","I've been watching them all along. The men, the women, the children, the animals; everything has a watchful eye upon us all. Even the stones have eyes","but she had to go, and he had to come, and he was to be here in the morning. Then she could come to his room and look at him and caress him, and love","a girl was singing, 'Merry Christmas, merry Christmas.' I know this song. I have it in my mind now. I don't know whether she sang it in the old way or","there's a lot of little boys on the beach, and they're running along, running and playing, and there are little girls, too, with little dresses on the","oh, I like that one ... I like that. Oh, I like this one ... oh, I wish I had a voice like that. And that ... oh, and that one, and that","and then I said, 'If you like, I'll go with you,' and she said, 'No, don't go with me,' and then I said 'Well, if I go,","you have a piece of cake...the man was very much...he was very much interested in the cake...you see what a wonderful boy...the cake is very fine...it","[S]he's got a big fat...[t]he poor child. Well, she's got a fat head, she has a big head. Why should she have a big fat head","I think that the most important thing about it is, it's a lot more than that. That is not the only thing that happened to us. It's more like the way i","and I thought of my own daughter, how she used to look at the sky at night and say to me, 'Daddy, is that God's eyes looking at me?' and I said,","there are lots and lots of people in this room that you don't know but you would like to know. They come up to you and say: 'What are you doing?' and ","and I was going to say that she was a lady, and he was a gentleman, and then I didn't know what I was going to say, I suppose because it was going to ","we have got to get back to my books, I'd like to have them back again... I'm not going to tell you, I can't tell you... I can't ever tell you,","the one who lives in the trees, the one who made me, that's who I am. I can't forget him. He gave me all that I am. He made me the one that","I shall, with no further ado, lay before you my mother's house. I am no poetess, no bard. I can neither sing nor play upon the lyre; and yet I will"],["what? I don't know. That's it. I think. I can't think of anything else. I can hear music. I just hear music and it's really nice and it's relaxing","I'm sitting here...thinking about that, you know, what is going on. And I'm just trying to figure out why you don't know it, and that's what's botheri","the idea that we were thinking about had been to try to work out how the mind works, and then to take that knowledge, and use it to try to figure out ","I'm trying to say, that the idea is that you have to go through a certain amount of that. That's where you go through that, so you get over that, you ","So I'm thinking of a really cool thing. So I'm going to tell you something that's really important, and it's really important to tell you about, and I","so I'm thinking that I'm doing this, I'm doing some research on this, and then I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to check out some books. O","the fact that the whole of the universe was made out of that, which is one of the greatest miracles of all time. So the fact that you and I and every ","you have to make a choice about the question you want to ask about. What are you trying to ask the question about? Do you want to know about the peopl","And then, when you look at the data, you see that there's this funny phenomenon, the, what's it called, the two-thirds phenomenon. Where the data from","and that was how it was, I think, because we had a lot of work to do. There was a lot of material there that I think has a lot of value and I think th","it's like, you know, just a kind of a hunch and then it starts to develop. It starts to develop into something more concrete, something more specific,","the word 'mother,' you know, so I think of my own mother, and I'm in a garden with her and the garden's been cut and I'm holding a pair of shears and","and I know I had some problems in the last time when I went to work on the last time that I was in New York...I've been trying to get over this thing ","and then there's the fact that it's so hard for me to get anything going on. I mean, I'd like to be writing, but I don't want to do anything that's go","and then it got better after the first round of chemo. So now it's fine. I've been trying to think of some ways to remember it, and it's easier to rem","my work as a writer, as an artist, has been all over the place, and it's been pretty bad. I did this thing, this big, and it was really good, but now","the... the... the... and the... and, the... the. The... the, the...the...the....and....the...the... the. And...the. The...and","and now I'm thinking about the first time I met the person who's my best friend...the first time I saw them...I guess it was at school. I guess I was ","I'm afraid of getting up here on the platform and having my legs slip, because it's slippery. I've got two girls - two twins. We have a big yard and t","I just don't know how it's possible. How did it go? You know, you'd think that after all this time, it would be easier. I mean, I thought that after t","we went to the movies yesterday and I saw the film again, which I had seen last week and I remember the beginning and I don't remember anything else, ","And then I was out in the garden, and I went around the tree where you were sitting, and I saw the dead rabbit and the rabbit's feet and the rabbits' ","and she was always trying to get into our house. And then the other day, I went down to the store, and there was a lady and a boy, and I was trying to","I went to see an old friend of mine, who lives at 316 4th. He has a little boy with him. He's a year old, I guess. And the","and he said, 'I wish you would let me do my sewing with it on.' And I said, 'Yes, but you'd have to take it off. You wouldn't let me have","and I know where the best place to get a nice cheap sandwich is. There is one on the corner, but I know where they have the best sandwiches, and I nev","a little kid, and he's in the house and his father and his father's friend, and they're working in the house, and they've got a big job to do, and the","I mean, if you hadn't got the wrong idea about what I said. I'm sure you would have told me. I thought that was the thing we had to do, and I said so","and the baby...the baby was crying when I got there, so I got him into his crib and he stopped crying, but she went to the baby and the baby stopped c","and then, when you come home, I think, you're going to tell me that I'm a bad mother because you didn't get to do your homework, and you're going to t","and he's got his lips on her neck, and her hands in his hair and they're all the way down and they're eating her and they're on their knees and he's g","[sings] The whole world is on my side, and I'm the only one that's here. I'm the whole world's love. [sings more, laughs] I got my","you just got to be there in the middle of the night and like just go in and play or you got to go in and like sing your heart out and I know that you ","you know how in my last dream I was like, I'm in my mom's car, and I'm like, I wanna be in my momma's car, because I miss her so bad","the other day in school the teacher was reading a story about a bear and the bear was trying to get into the bear's house and the bear said to the cat","so I'm doing this project that I have to do this weekend and I don't even have my paper written so I have to write my paper tonight and I have to fini","[a]fter a long while, the girls are gonna be here and we're gonna have a big sleepover, and they're gonna be on my bed. And they're gonna have to slee","I don't have to write it down. I know how to do it. I know I don't have any paper with me, I know that I have to do a project for school. I","I could give you a song from when I was little... I think it's about a snow day or something like that. I can't remember... oh! here it is... oh! I li","I'd like to have a lot of pets. I'd like to keep a puppy and a kitten, but I don't have enough money, so I can't get any pets. I have to","and I've had this dream before that I had that I had this dream I had this one time I was like I was in the bathroom and I had a bath and there was a ","it's a lot of fun... the most important thing is, you can't do anything wrong... there's no right or wrong way... I'm going to read you a poem... this","oh yeah! the thing that was going through my head was... this girl that i was dating. I can't remember her name but we go to the same school. We met a","I think I should... get my cat a new bed. Because I haven't had... one... in forever. It's really not a big bed, it's like... it's too small for","I don't like that guy [the guy that made the video] because he was in my history class, and I saw him yesterday. And I think that's bad, but I don't t","and then i was thinking about some of the other things i've had to do. like when i was going to the library i was thinking, i got to go to the library","I don't think you really know, I think you just don't like it. It's just like... it's just like you... just like you can't stand that kind of thing. Y","I just have some questions about that. I mean, like, in the book you're like, 'You don't have to like the guy, but you just have to be nice.' And,","I'm gonna go look at the things I bought when I went shopping last week. The one with the big, blue letters that said, 'Ages 6-8.' There was a book","I like to be with my friends when we do fun stuff...I think it's fun to play games...we usually play at my house...I like to play board games like Scr","I don't know what else I could say. I mean I have a few things on my mind that I might say. But then, I think, I don't want to say them. And","and, well, like, I had this really good, you know, idea for a class project, like, it's supposed to be like, we were supposed to, like, like, we","the thing that's so sad about it is that I wish I could do something about it. But like you know you can't so you have to accept it and like, but stil","i'm so sorry for what happened yesterday to you, you know, and i don't know what to do, so i just said i don't wanna be in a relationship anymore but,","and then that's just how i want to be. And then I like it when we're like that. It's really cute. And then we have to take a picture. Like a cute one","the only thing that I can say is that I wish I could make him feel more like a person. He's a good boy and a great daddy, he just sometimes doesn't un","I don't want to do any work on this. It's already finished. I don't have any plans for what I want to do with this project. I think it's going to be f","And then I remembered when I was little and I had a really good friend named T. She was a girl and she was super nice and she was in first grade like ","I am here, I am here, and I am thinking, and I'm going to go to the lake, and I just got my phone back. So I'm going to put it up,","I had a thought and I'm gonna write it down. I was in my school in fourth grade and I had to read a book and I thought that was the dumbest book ever.","this is me, trying to make my phone ring, so I can see if I have a text from him, I'm so nervous, I haven't seen him since summer break and I have bee","I was wondering why my name is on this website. I don't know, maybe it's a coincidence but it's pretty funny. It's not like it's not funny when someon","I'm going to write a letter to my ex about how much we've grown apart since we broke up. I want to know how she's doing, but I want her to be in the d","[i]t was all about that time with the girl on the lake and how it was really good and how you said you loved her but she said that you weren't her boy","I'm sitting on the beach right now. I'm in the park. I just came from the store. I just got off a date. It was really good. He said he liked the food","I'm sitting in my bed, I'm feeling really bad. I haven't been getting enough sleep or eating and I'm really sick. My whole body is aching and I'm coug","I'm sorry for all the stupid things I say, but I'm trying to change... I can't help it though... I guess I'm just nervous and I think a lot... and I'm","what's the point of this, honestly? I'm not even sure why I'm doing this. I'm just gonna say whatever comes to my head. I'm bored. I'm thinking about ","I know how to fix it. I know. It's not that big of a deal. I could do it in like a half hour. But I don't want to do it because I'll","I'm doing this for the world. For me, I can't imagine why I even care, but for the world I'd rather not do this. But I'm doing it for the world...","yeah so there was this like weird like weird dream that I had last night. Like the weirdest part of it is I think it's the first time in a long time t","Iโ€™m thinking about like a lot of things. Iโ€™m like I canโ€™t talk about it. I canโ€™t be like too specific about it but Iโ€™m like kind of thinking about. Li","my father is an old person so I don't know if he's like that but...like my mother is an old person she's a lot different now like a lot of people when","I want to know about you. I like your music. You're a nice guy. You're not scary. I like that you're not afraid of me. You're really sweet. I like","I think about my work, what I do for a living. I think about how I try to be a good person, how I try not to be an asshole. Like how I'm really not","and I guess I don't know why, but I just really want to see him. I feel really guilty. I want to make sure he's okay, like I always do, but at the","so I'm just thinking about that [the fact that I'm a recovering alcoholic]. I think it's been a couple of years now, maybe I don't remember the exact ","I'm so glad it's not the same. I mean, I think I can say I've had better, but I'm happy it's not that bad. I'm really, I'm really","I feel really good. I feel really good today. I feel like I've just been given a big hug, like I'm being really loved, and I know that that is coming ","[I think about how] the thing that makes me so sad about the whole COVID situation, like... I feel like it's been a long time since we've really had t","I feel a little bit tired, but I think I can make it through the rest of today. I think I'm going to try and take some deep breaths to calm myself dow","and that's kind of scary to think that you know, it's kind of like a mental health issue because it's just it's not, you know, something that's like, ","it's all good, I guess, I'm just... you know, I think I'm a bit nervous for the next 24 hours. I think I... I've been a bit nervous","and I'm thinking about the people I have to spend a lot of time with and how I want to do well for them, but it's hard, I just wish we weren't here, I","I think I'll probably make a few changes to my budget, I'm feeling like I have a lot of money to spend but I'm really not, I think I've spent a lot of","I was thinking of like, like, like just being like, like being at work and just being like doing the normal stuff, like you're like going through the ","it's been really hard lately to have a good week. I'm at home. My husband's at work. We're trying to have a baby. He's in and out all the time.","I can't really think of what to say. I have a lot of thoughts, but I'm just not sure how to say them. I think it's just because I'm not sure what to","I don't know why I'm doing this, but it's just for fun. I feel like I'm on autopilot and I can't stop thinking about everything. It's like my brain is","[I'm] like, I think I'm going to lose my job. Like, I think that I'm just going to like, I'm not really doing well, and I think that like","and then you know like, I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, I have to do this again.' And then you know, I'm just like, I mean, I don't know","I'm sorry I can't play a good game. I'm just not... it's just not good. I'm not playing. I'm sorry. It's hard. I don't... it","[thinking out loud] ...[singing along] ...I'm just singing this because I feel like it's the only thing I can do to keep my energy up. ...I'm really t","it's kind of funny, like when I was in 3rd grade I think we were in like 4th grade, my teacher would take me to the library and like, we'd read","I've been working on a bunch of things, I've been doing my thing on my own, trying to figure out how to do this, how to work out my stuff with my fami","you know, like itโ€™s just kind of like, you know, itโ€™s like, Iโ€™m like, youโ€™re like, you feel like youโ€™ve like, you donโ€™t know, it just","the thought is like it's a thing. it's like it's something that's kind of like a thought bubble. but, uh, i mean, it's a lot of just random thoughts a","and I'm like, 'that's not a good idea.' I'm just, like, 'I don't know what to do next.' And then I'll just look up at the sky for","this is a place that I'm at right now. It's a coffee shop, it's the one where I'm working right now. And I just remembered that my dad is kind of weir","And the next one was a guy who was like, โ€˜I think I just said thisโ€™... โ€˜I think you just said this,โ€™ and then it was like, oh, so I actually said","I'm like, what, if there was like, a, like, a show, like, like, on, like, I dunno, like, TV, or like, like online,","the question was, what do you have that you like? what do you like about like? Well, um, the sound of it, i know, i know what i like about, what i","there's a girl and a guy and they're on a date and they go out on a date like maybe to a coffee shop and they order some food like pizza and they go b","I don't know why this happened. I just heard him like I was watching a movie. Like it was actually him, but like you know, maybe it was somebody else.","I'm on the phone, I think I'm calling the bank, but I don't know what I'm doing, I have to wait for the answer, but I'm not sure why I'm","I got to go to work today and I didn't want to go to work so I had to drive in there. And then I was like I'm not going to go to the gym today because","[sigh] Oh, my back is killing me. I'm gonna have to take my day off tomorrow. I think I just need to sit in my car and drink some coffee. And then","I don't know. I was thinking about that last question that we were talking about. I had an idea. I mean, it's not a great idea. I know, it's just a","the person who wrote the essay, I can't really tell, like, is it a guy or a girl? But I would definitely go with this one. Like, I know the guy, I","like the wind, but I guess I'm a little too close to the sun right now, and I don't want to feel like that, but I don't know, like I said earlier,","I'm not going to be able to do the same thing with my wife. I feel bad. I'm really bad about this. I feel like I'm not being a good husband. Like I","I donโ€™t know, I just feel like Iโ€™m not good at anything. Like, I donโ€™t have a career, I donโ€™t know what to do. I just feel like everyone around me","this was a really fun one to be able to write about the whole time i'm just like i'm gonna write it and it's going to be like oh this is just gonna be","and I thought that that's what's gonna happen, like I'm gonna start having like all these like I don't know, I'm gonna have like, I don't even know, l","I'm really really worried about my partner today because he was like he was kind of a little bit stressed out or whatever and I don't know. I don't re","i feel like i'm so much better with people now but i just really feel like it's been a struggle like in the past i just kind of like i'm like i have a","I know Iโ€™m on the verge of an emotional breakdown right now, I canโ€™t control it and Iโ€™m just gonna do what I have to do. Iโ€™m so tired and Iโ€™m so stres","Iโ€™m kind of going through this, like, you know, Iโ€™m trying to find this like, the perfect balance, like, where Iโ€™m feeling like Iโ€™m not putting in too","Iโ€™m like this: I think about a lot of things. I think about the weather, what Iโ€™m going to wear. I think of random things that Iโ€™m thinking of, and so","and the idea of you saying like, hey I don't know if we should like take this on but just saying it's not a bad idea because you're like, I think we s","I was in my room with my friend, and we were talking, and I'm like, 'I want to be in a relationship with this person, and I'll do anything to be in th","like when you're in school, you're trying to figure out like, you're like trying to do a project or something and you're like, I'm trying to do this a","I'm starting to worry that my child is having a hard time with the concept of social media because I'm really starting to notice that a lot of my frie","I think, like, a lot about my mom, she's like, a really good mom and it's, I think, I like her a lot because she, she's very supportive and she","the other day my parents were like 'hey, what's this?' like 'how's your day?' 'I'm good, I'm good. I've been doing better, I'm not having","and the other thing is it's like you know you you have this kind of like, you're trying to figure it out, but you're trying like, I want to make sure ","it's just been a good week. So, I've been trying to stay super, super productive and get a lot of stuff done, and then just, I think, get back to a no","I just don't feel good. I'm trying to write about work, but I'm trying really hard to make this work, but it's a little bit overwhelming. I just don't","And then I have a friend who's, who's got a really good job and is making like, I don't know, like 90,000 a year and I think I","and then we would just talk about random topics like, I don't know, what do you want to do on your free time? Like what's something you're interested ","and I think there's also this thing, it's like when I'm watching the news or whatever and I think, I don't think, but I like watching the news and I w","I have a problem with that. I don't know. I don't like. I don't, I don't think I'm good at that. I'm like. I'm not. I","what is the most important thing that we should be doing right now as we're living in this pandemic world? Because you know, we're just, we're not in ","I am tired. I am tired. My body is tired. My head is tired. I'm having a hard time staying awake. I need to do some things today and I need to be rest","the most important thing that happened to me this week was the trip to the park. We were going to go to the park, we were going to have some fun. I wa","I'm watching the game of the night. It was really intense. We're in the last ten minutes and we have two points and I was like, okay, let's just try t","oh it was a good experience. You know what I'm thinking about? What was my goal, it was for me to win my first race. But I didn't do it, and I didn","I have to take this next session because it's really important, because my last one was canceled and I missed a whole week of it. So I'm going to try ","I was watching some of my friends, and one of them was like, 'I'm going to try and play basketball.' So, I was like, hey, it's your turn to play,","like I was like, oh, my God, I can't do this. This is the worst idea I've ever had in my life. And I'm like, well, if I have a","you're looking at the sky right now. And I feel like I have a lot of things to do but I have a feeling that I'll be alright. I'll be fine, I don't","the...the the the the the [coughs] the the the what was it? [coughing] oh, you know, the what was that? Oh, the what the the","it's just like, you know, if I'm not really happy with my life right now, and I'm not doing things that I want to be doing, like I was talking about l","I have to talk to the person that I'm seeing and see if they want to get back together because we broke up, and I'm thinking maybe we're still on, you","I guess I can see where that can work for some people, but I don't know if I would actually do it because, I mean, that's not something I've done in a","the fact that I've been here for the last three weeks is really interesting to me...because I'm curious, I'm like, 'Oh, why am I here, what am I doing","I know it's going to be cold. I've been like, oh, I don't know, like 12.7, right? And so like, I have no idea. I","I was just thinking about all the times that I was trying to make you feel bad, and you would say something really good and I would be like oh yeah, l","I'm going to go home, I'll get the milk and some bread, and then I'm going to have some fried potatoes with gravy. That's the plan. I don't know, I","it's like my body is this little doll. I can move it wherever I want and it does exactly what I want it to do. I can do like this and then it's like I","and then I could take like, my own private phone and just like, uh, text and talk with my besties about like, like, you know, like, about, you know li","so that was a bad move i don't know what the point of that was like... um... so i'm just going to say that like that was a good thing i guess... uh...","uh, yeah, so, the thing with the thing is, but, yeah, it is kind of hard. But i, but it is a little bit too much for me, i just,","this was the first time i was here. this was the first time i have ever been here. it's not like the first time. it's like the second time, but it's l","yeah, i can't... i can't believe i actually did this, like i don't remember what the point of this is but like i'm gonna finish this and i'm not even ","then what was i thinking about before... i was thinking about a game of chess... i think i was trying to imagine how i would win this chess game... so","(I'm not sure what this means but I'm just gonna say it) so I'm gonna say that I think my favorite type of food is like the sweet ones like chocolate ","it's so sad that the world is a bunch of shit, I'm just like, I just wish it wasn't, I really wish it wasn't. Like I really really wish the world was","and then you see the one in the background... thatโ€™s really me, you know... thatโ€™s just like a different me... thatโ€™s me as i saw myself in the past..","I'm imagining a new episode for a story I'm writing. I'm imagining what it would be like if the story was told by the main character, and that she was","I think the 'you' in this case is just me. It's an imaginary, separate 'you' that's going through things like you'd be doing in the story, and the res","I've been having an idea for a short story. I'd like to write it. I need a title for it. I can't really describe the story, but I like the idea of the","and it was a bit of a mix and match. I was like, this is the best I can do. So I got a bunch of these different songs, and I was like... this is","I have the idea of taking an orange and slicing it and then taking a little bit of the orange and putting it into my mouth. I'm gonna make a whole bun","the idea of a short, very short story that you just have to think of a little bit, but I don't want to say anything about the story, because the story","[I]f you think of a word and then think of the word that is related to it, and then that one is related to another word, you can just keep going forev","the reason why I don't want to play this game is because, even if I do, I'm gonna win so I don't even have to do this game. I think the game is probab","this is a lot like what i'm thinking when i'm trying to get the thought into words. It's like I'm trying to just get the idea and I'm trying not to ov","yeah I'm not really sure. I mean if I would get in touch with you you know, I'll say like what's your favorite game and like what's it like to play a ","and we don't really want that to happen, but I think if we just like, uh, like, uh. So I guess it's, uh, it's kind of like like if like","And I know, I don't know, I'm not sure, but I think I might have a way to figure out what that is. Like, I know, like, I'm gonna,","yeah, you're, you're more on a, you know, uh, in my own experience, um, so if if it's like a group or just like a family, um, a","uh what was I saying ... I was going to be like oh it's interesting like you know, what you see when you do that, but like, if you were to go to a pla","this is what I would consider like a big data kind of thing that's a big data and we're all getting a little bit more of these things are being done. ","um, yeah, uh, I think I've been on the edge of this, this whole thing for the last year or two. I have a lot of questions. Um, I think, um","and the thing is like a lot of other things in our lives, is it's something where I just don't feel like I need to have a lot of the same thing going ","we got a new dog and they're like... like... I don't know, they're a lot more like you know, like a small dog than a big dog. Yeah, so you know","so I guess what I would say is that I think my parents, I think they've been a good influence on me. I mean, they're they're basically, I mean, my mom","oh wow. I was just thinking about you and me being in the same place, and doing something that we'd be like, you know, the same, and like, we're the s","and I was just thinking about how we have to talk about how we can get the kids involved in the community, because a lot of the kids are like, 'I don'","the people are... there are so many people right now... like all the... there are just... they're all over the place... I don't know how... I'm really","it's a... a little bit about... what's your favorite... like, if you had... if you had a favorite... favorite... food... you could... you could just..","okay I'm gonna start thinking of something but I'm not going to force myself to come up with an idea so I'm just going to see what I think of so I'm g","this is how I see it, okay. I've got a few different things in my life right now, so there's, um, there's a lot of different things going on. One,","the most important thing is that they know that they are supported and that it's OK to ask for help, and also that they're not gonna be judged. ...it'","like some sort of crazy thing where it's like a cartoon thing where it starts off being like, the more that you try to focus on something, the more it","I was doing a job recently. And I was trying to get a job. But I was really good at what I was doing, so I felt like I was overqualified. But I don't","I've been looking at my notes, which is what I've been doing all day today. I've been thinking about how to structure a new class for some of the clie","[m]y wife's been driving me to be really, really good about my mental health. And, like, she's been saying, 'I am going to have to buy you some sort","what do you mean by it being 'in your brain' to start with? What does it mean to say something like that? I mean, I think the point is that the brain ","the first one is in the second paragraph, and the second one is in the last paragraph, which are two completely different stories... but what's intere","we could talk about it later... I can't say how much it will take, and it might take more... I can call someone to ask for help... I will... I will ta","that's probably it, I don't have any more ideas, so I'm going to take a little break. ... (Pause, while the participant looks around the room.) So I'm","I wonder whether my mom was listening when I was talking to her... Maybe she didn't want to be disturbed. Maybe she was busy doing something else, may","I've had some crazy ideas today, I guess. Like this: What if I were to say 'I'll go to the doctor with this headache.' Then I get up and I have my hea","my plan for the day. I have to go to the library and bring books back, I can't remember the names of the books but I think the are all about... I don'","like this: 123 45 678 9. And then: 111 222 333 444 555","the first one [the most recent entry] is about the music I was listening to when I took a nap. I was listening to a lot of music while I was sleeping.","and a lot of the stuff here is just random garbage, I mean like what the fuck am I even doing, you know. ... it's just a bunch of stuff here, so like ","the other day I was watching a video, and it was like watching it from another screen, and it kept changing the screen and then I got confused because","I am playing a game with myself, a memory game, and the game is about a memory that was made a while ago. It is about the idea of memory as a kind of ","I just... I don't know, I just think about the weather... I don't even know. I don't have any real thoughts about it. I'm just saying it. But I think","I'm lying here now and I'm thinking about how I've been a bit distracted, and I was just thinking about, like, the things that I'm really really inter","I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping because of the pain. I'm also thinking about...the video that I've made about my...my dreams. I think I want to m","and then I'm thinking about it and then I get distracted, but it's all happening in my head so I have no idea if anyone is listening to me or not. ...","you're still here... you're not gone... but I think you're kinda... kind of in the background? Like if I'm in a conversation and I'm not hearing you, ","and there's a new movie out called The Matrix and this is like a Matrix one. Like the new one. But it's about an older person. And he's like a doctor ","And then this weird thought that we have these two little characters. We have the little girl, and the little boy. The little girl, she's got a hat th","I have been trying to imagine myself in the role of the woman, but I keep getting stuck. Itโ€™s like sheโ€™s too beautiful and I can't picture myself as h","it's a place... that... that I'd like to go... I don't know... where I can relax and have fun... and I can see... I can see my friends... I don","[M]y hand is warm, and a little red and puffy where I touched the hot thing. I wonder what that thing is. I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep. I want","a little girl, and a man, and then another man, and a little girl, a little girl, she's playing a piano, she's not a little girl but a little woman, s","my brain hurts! My brain hurts! [pause] It hurts! It's hurting! It hurts! [a long, tense pause] ... [a sudden, short laugh] [pause] [","the little man, the little man who's hiding in the trees is angry. I can see him from here. He's got his arms crossed and he's breathing hard and his ","(shriek) ... (sigh) ... (groan) ... (wail) ... (shrieking) (gasp) ... (cries) ... (snarl)","a wave of energy and sound and it was so loud I thought my head was going to blow and it was a strange kind of sound like the noise of a machine and t","I'm going to be late, I'm going to have to run out and get some coffee, I have to go out and get coffee. I'm going to run into a guy in the street","I'm here in the darkness, in my room, with no lights on and no sound except for some music in the background. I'm lying in bed. There's a screen in fr","this is the door of a building. it's a door and there's a switch to the left and it's a switch that you pull down on to the left. and the door opens a","I've never been to that place before. I wonder if this is my way to see it. I can't remember the name of this place. It's not that far from here. I wa","I was thinking about this story, and then I realized that it's not even about the story, it's about me being inside a story, which is an interesting c","because the idea of an unbroken string of words, even if they're all the same, can be a little disorienting, and it's difficult to see the difference ","And the woman, she's making her way...and she's going up and down stairs...and she has a laptop...and she is on the stairs and she is making...and the","just think of a flower or something. A flower that you like, I like the one on the left. That one has some petals that are open and some that are clos","and then he gets up and goes to the bathroom, and then he comes back and sits down. He is trying to do some math but can't focus and keeps getting dis","it's like it's a rainbow and it's like you have to be on the ground to see it and then it's like, then you can see it but then you have to move like i","I'm in a chair, it's a chair with wheels, it's black. It's next to a wall. I'm on the wall. I just went there. It's a mirror.","I've been trying to find a good photo for a long time now. I took some photos, but I don't really like any of them. I have a bunch of photos on my com","I'm imagining myself being chased by a dog. I'm in a dark room with a small amount of light. It's just enough to see where you are standing. I'm stand","weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....eeeee.....weeeeeeee.....wee....eeeee....weeeeeeeee....eee.....weeee.....ee....weeeeee....eee...weeeee","so i could just be...just me. i don't feel so alone. i don't want to be here anymore. i want to be somewhere else. but i can't. it's too","i like you. i like you. you're the one. you're so much better than me. you're better at everything. you're prettier than me. i don't know what to","i feel a little sick...i have to stop now...i feel sick and hot and sweaty. it's like i have no control over my body. i'm being taken over by somethin","there is a girl with a white dress, and then she changes to a black dress. then a boy with blue hair. he looks like a girl. then another boy, also wit","there's no reason i can think of why that would happen. i could try to google it, but i doubt i'll get a useful answer. there is a good chance i won't","and I thought... 'why do they think it's so hard to say yes? And i was like, they're not hard to say no to... but i guess that's because they're easy","[thinking] about the people i want to follow and how they would react to me if they found out about my powers. [thinking] of people i know, but not to","and I wonder how he felt about the world, how he felt in general and how he felt after what had happened. I mean he's been like that all his life, I'm","I'm a dog. I'm a dog! I'm a puppy, and I'm a golden retriever, and I like to catch the ball! I like to play with other dogs, too","and he's like, hey, let me look for you some socks. I was like, uh, that's great, i really appreciate you helping out. and so he found like three diff","I'm kind of confused about something. I've been reading some stuff about how to do math problems and stuff. I got like two and a half pages of this an","and i don't know how that's gonna be... i'm sure it'll be fun! it's just that i'll probably forget the names of the people and stuff and stuff. ... th","and then I thought about this book I read called 'the four seasons in a day' and it was just about a day of the year and the way things looked like in","then the other one's a lot shorter. It's only 6 feet long, but it's really short and skinny... the other one is tall, 8 feet, 82 inches to","my mom. I've never done anything with my mom. She's never done anything fun with me. But then she's been a lot older than me and I'm old enough to kno","and you know, if I was a dog I could just roll up in a ball and go to sleep. But I'm not a dog and I don't sleep that way, I just go to","and it's the most important thing that's ever happened to me, and I've been to like...six or seven different countries... and I've never felt this way","[s]ince my mom passed away, I've been really trying not to cry and stuff. And then I got mad at my dad for being so mean, and now I'm crying for no","then I thought about the last time I saw her, and then I remembered that I'd seen her about a week before that, and then a couple of days before that,","then he was back in the office with me, and I told him to go get his bag, then he said it was raining and he didn't have his bag and we got up to leav","I'm trying to get an idea of where I am in this dream. It's very hazy and I keep thinking about the sun and the warmth I want it to be. I want to go","the person is still the same, just the environment has changed. the way i think and feel about everything is different, but the core of who i am hasn'","I'll talk to my mom about the new phone plan. She'll probably say no. She always says no to these things. But she might change her mind. Maybe she'll ","and I'm in the office... I'm sitting at my desk... and I'm typing on the computer... I'm looking at my email... I haven't opened it yet, but I'm scrol","so we went out, we were there for about two hours, it was cold outside, we were inside in the warm, so we sat in there and talked, and then we decided","I'm on my way to the store. I'm going to get bread, eggs, milk, and some yogurt. I need to pick up my friend's dog for him. I also forgot to","I don't know why you need to keep all your books, I don't keep any at all. I've just started reading a new book. I read the first few chapters and the","I wonder if they have a story about that or something, maybe. Maybe they have a secret thing. They always do. I wonder if they'll tell me. Maybe if I'","I was in this house...and there was a boy on the stairs...I was getting ready to go to bed...and there was this guy who looked like he was waiting for","it's not a good idea to call someone in the middle of the night to get them up and help you. especially if it's someone who's sick or has bad allergie","it's been like this for a month. I keep wondering if I have to get over it and get a job so that I won't have to go to that school. But I don't know","there's a baby. You've seen a baby before, right?... No, I haven't. There's a baby sleeping on my bed. That's... I've never seen a baby sleep","and my car is in the driveway and I was thinking about it and I had just gotten done with work and I was sitting in the car and I was trying to find a","there is a light here. It's white light. It's very bright. It's almost blinding. I think I might be dreaming. It's just so bright, I don't think it","And I'm thinking of a picture and I don't know why...a bunch of trees, a bunch of trees...I'm seeing trees...I don't know what I'm seeing, but trees","it's just like my dog and my cat are fighting about it and it's just... it's like my cat is like trying to make it but it's not working and my dog is ","I remember a time when I was on the train and I was on my own for the first time in a long time and I had never been on a train before. And I was like","I'm trying to figure out what time it is, so I open my eyes to check the clock, but I close them again because it's too dark, and I think I see a spid","and that I'm like a ball. Like a balloon or a ball or something. I don't know. It's like that, you know? I don't like being a ball though, it","and so this thing is falling out of my mouth, I'm thinking about falling. I'm falling out of a tree. And I'm scared but I'm laughing too. I'm gonna fa","and I thought I was gonna die and I don't know why...I know I'm just so sad and I don't even know why...and I think I might be crying and I don't","the one on the left has the same name as a famous girl...and her name is the same as one of my friend's, who has the same eye color as that girl, and ","and it was really weird, 'cause I had this dream where I was in a house and all the windows had turned into a mirror and it was like it was all like a","you know like i used to sit with a pencil and a piece of paper and draw pictures on my mind and write down every little thing that i imagined. I think","I am a dream catcher, I make them. They are the most beautiful thing in the world, and I love them so much. I want to show you how to make one, but fi","and then my sister came over and she was like, 'can I watch your tv?' and she was going to watch this movie with me and I said 'sure, and can i watch ","And then he grabbed the blanket and pulled it around her waist like a second dress. She looked so cute! But then, he had to get the camera, and took s","and then you go down there and you open it and it's all so many candles and you got all these pretty little flowers and you got the baby bottles and t","the birdies, they were like, singing and doing it and doing it. It's like, it's like, like, like that's like, singing. I can't really get them out","and that's how I think of her, in the middle of the night and I always think of her in that way. It's really, really nice. I guess that's where I keep","the image of me and her, and the way her hands would reach up, and the image of her and me together, and the song and the way we would dance and the w","my whole life is like a book of dreams...it was like a movie...I want to go back to the beginning of the movie...I need to make another movie...my bod","and then you see the same tree, but the light is different and the tree is different, but the tree is still there, and it's the same tree but the same","the sound of a guitar. It's a slow song, and a little bit of the voice, and I'm watching a little bit, and it's... I'm sitting on a mountain, or","I wonder if it would be possible to make a picture of a girl that's not a girl, like a woman who's not a woman, but is more like a girl or something. ","and this one, this one, here it's a bit harder to hear, but it's almost like it's in the middle of something...something like a snake... I don't know.","the two little boys, the two little children, the two children who live in a beautiful garden, and who go out into a world of snow and ice, and play, ","and she's crying now, and I'm crying, and I think that if I would sing a song she would cry too, and I am singing, and it is a song about the flowers,","I saw this man's hand, I saw it and it was this big black hand, it was black and he had no arms and his hand was like an eye. I thought I would cry,","the man on the street, the man that I know, the man I loved. Oh, yes, I loved him so. And he loved me and gave his life to me. And now we","a shadow of a dark cloud was passing over me. I was not looking at the sun; I was looking at the sky, and it was so dark! It was as though I was looki","I've been a good listener to the sound of your voice, and I can hear the sound of you and the sound of myself together. There is no voice that is not ","the color of the sky is in the eye. ...there's a color there which is different than the color of the surface of the sky. There's another color which ","And I am a child of the dark and I am a poet, and I am the poem itself. I am a dark and cold, dark and cold star of night. And I am a poem","It's funny how you can walk through life not seeing, and then suddenly it all becomes crystal clear. It's as if the world's been held at bay, and you ","the beginning of a tale I'm not sure about. And then it would be about the end of the tale, and the beginning of the tale. It's a little like a circle","I have to be really careful, because my hand is going to move, and it's going to draw some kind of lines, and it will change everything, and everythin","the more I think about it, the more it becomes clear that I am the creator of this reality. I am its creator, but I don't know that yet. I know that I","there are two little girls in the picture. They're in a boat. And one of them has a little bird, which is on her shoulder. And she's a little girl wit","this is the beginning of the story. A girl was walking through the forest, she was sad. And she found a book and she read and she thought of a story a","in my heart I have a fire. I would like to burn with it. I would be happy to see the world as if through a prism. I am still young. I still have a lot","It's like the colors of the night, that's what I'm trying to paint. And that's what you see. It's like a dream. It's a dream. And now you're","I have just had a very vivid dream. It's as though I am being led through a kind of landscape with a light shining on it. And there is a person walkin","I was wandering about in a field of tall grass and it was dusk. And I felt very much in the state of that night of the soul that I have written about ","a lot of things seem to be in here, so many things... so many... a great many of them are like this, a little bit like this, but not like that, becaus","I have a kind of vision of the house and the landscape in front of the house. I see myself in the landscape and I am alone. I see trees that seem to b","I'm in my home town, I'm walking along the road... there's this little grassy field on the other side, and it's a little bit of a slope up to it, so","you know how much I love you, I think to myself, and you know, I love the thought of being with you, and that's why I'm thinking about this. I could b","the moment that you are in when you are in the forest, this is the moment when you are aware of yourself. This is the moment that you know yourself to","I am like a flower... I am like the wind... I am a thing... I am this... I am the color of the sky... I am in my body... I am here... I","I know it's wrong to go down this road, but there is something that comes out of it that is not wrong. ... I could say 'wrong', but there is a certain","I don't want to be an actor or a singer, I don't want to have that. I don't even know if I can make myself understand. I don't know how to explain it","it's funny how our thoughts don't always stay in line, like we expect them to, with what we would like to think. It's like the world is being thrown i","I wonder if the body is really the body we are used to, if there is not also an etheric body that we have a little consciousness of when we're in deep","this is what I want, I want this thing to exist...this is my goal, this is what I am doing. I want the right now to exist...I want to see that the rig","there's a light, a light coming into my being, from the outside, from the universe, and a light that is within me, from the inside, from the self. And","and I saw a big white thing. I can't make sense of it, it is just a big white, fuzzy thing. And I saw a little white thing and I'm trying to get to","I wonder if I really could be in control, as I experience that there are different levels of awareness within the experience. At times the experience ","the music coming in. It's coming from the floor. It's not coming from the air, or from the body, but from the floor, coming through the floor to the b","I've got to go out and walk. I'm going out in a second, but it's kind of like this weird tunnel, and the light at the end of the tunnel is my way.","I wonder if this is what I'm thinking right now. I wonder what I'm doing right now. What am I thinking right now? I wonder. I wonder if that's the way","there is something funny about these leaves on the floor, they are moving up and down. They are just like the way my arms move in the air, I feel like","... I'm very quiet, the sound of the wind, I feel my body... there's a line in the middle of my head. I hear it. I'm sitting, I'm sitting on","you know... I was thinking of going back to the world... to the world of my dreams, where I've always been and always will be, the place of dreams, th","I just see it again, the words in my head, and it's so clear and bright like a blue sky. So beautiful. So I just want to say that again. I hear the wo","we'll be sitting in a circle, and we'll each have a feather, and we each have a name, and when we're done, we're gonna make a feather into a dove, and","I can see, I see, I can see, that's why I've come. I'm coming to you, I can't see anything else, I can only see you, I see your","and a child, and a child. I've had one child. I have one child. Two. One, two. A child and a child and a boy and a girl. There's a","I am standing at the door. I am at home. There is a dog. She is walking behind me. I am looking at her, I am looking after her, I want to go inside","And you're a little bit on the side of this. This is going to be a little bit bigger and longer. But now I want to make a little bit of a little thing","my brain, my brain, all of the cells of my brain, and I wonder how many cells there are and how many atoms in the cells. I wonder what you do, you tin","and he is coming...he's coming. He's coming here. He's almost here. He is coming here. Now he is going to be coming. Now he's coming here, right throu","and I want to be an artist. And I'll draw a picture for you. And then I'll put my finger down and I'll write the title in the picture. I'm gonna be an","and I want to write this, I'm going to draw some trees and a flower, I want to draw a flower, oh, that's a tree! It's a flower, it's a","And then, one day, we'll all be here, together, in the same place, and it'll be as though we'd all been one person all along. But it won't be,","It's like you're standing in the rain and you can't see. So you're just... walking in the rain, walking in the rain... And I can't remember how it's s","my hand. It's on the computer, and I'm trying to think. I can't, can't, I can't think about anything else. It's not like I have a pen and","I'm going to paint a picture of a bird in flight. The bird is going to be a peacock with a red body and a yellow head. I'll use a bright yellow paint ","a big cat's face. It's a black and white cat. Its tongue is sticking out. And a blue butterfly is sitting on the cat. It's yellow and black. The cat i","a... a... a- a- a... a thing that looked like a... like a... a.. a... a flower with... with.. with... with a- a.. a.. a","there was an old woman in a book i was reading and she was on a tree and she was crying and the leaves fell around her and then the leaves all started","you're sitting on top of a big old tree that's growing in the middle of a big lake and a little bird is flying down and he goes, 'I love you! I love y","I remember when my father was here and I was little and I remember how we used to play at the bottom of the stairs. We had a ladder and we had to go a","and then I'm going to be dead! (sighs) But then I'm not going to die anymore. I'm going to go on a vacation and play in a lake and play in","I have a feeling I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I know I'm gonna go. I'm gonna be sad. I'm gonna sit on the toilet, and I'm gonna cry, and","I'm looking at my arm and I want to touch it....oh, that's an arm. Oh, that's my arm....Oh, it's so hairy. Oh, I want to...","And the cat is sitting there, with its tail like a little fluffy scarf and a big smile on its face. And its eyes look like they're smiling at me, too.","and then it's a little baby and then it gets bigger, and then the baby grows and grows and grows, then it grows into a baby that looks like me, but wi","this is what's going through my mind right now. Oh! I feel like I'm going to be sick. Oh! It's raining. I feel like crying. I'm sad. I'm","and it's like you're trying to make something into a sandwich. It's like it's hard. I'm trying to make a sandwich. I'm eating it. I'm tasting it. It","a girl...she's wearing a black hoodie, and a hoodie is a hoodie and it's all white with a black hoodie and there's a hoodie on my hand and it's not a ","it's a lot of work. I don't know. I'm just not a good painter. It's like it's...a little bit easier on paper though. And...i think i'm","I'm going to be late! I'm late for the bus, and I have to be at the station! It's just going to take me a second, but I'll just have to run","I remember the day my father died. I was 5, and I remember the smell of the flowers he got me, and I also remember the funeral. And the day he died, t","I'm going to do my best on the test tomorrow... and I hope that I get to see the sun... I've never seen the sun. I got my license today... but I think","I'm eating chocolate chip cookies and the only reason I'm eating them is because I have no money. I just found some coins and I'm just really hungry s","I'm so hungry! I haven't eaten for three hours, and I've been sitting here and reading, so now I'm gonna eat my sandwich. I'm gonna try and eat a whol","and I'm going to put a hat on my head, and I'm going to sit down. I don't know why I'm thinking about this right now... and I'm wearing a hat.","the red ball...I wonder if the ball is still red...or maybe it's blue. No! It's red. No...it's white. Wait! It's blue. It's blue","this is what's supposed to happen...I don't know I don't know if it's my dream or... I think it's a dream. I was walking... I don't even know where","And I'm a bit bored. Oh no, I have to make a list of things I did today, but then I remember, I've already done that. I'm bored. I'm getting","I just need to be done with this project. It's driving me crazy, the project. I need to go out, and get drunk, and go to bed, and be done with it all","I'd really like to eat something, I just can't remember what I'm cooking now, I guess I'm getting too full and it's so hot...I need a drink... oh yeah","I have two kids. One is five years old, and one is nine years old. And they're fighting... The five year old is whining because they had to take their","I'm going to go down and pick up my cousin from the airport. It's her wedding day. I hope the food is good. She's going to wear her wedding dress and ","the doctor said that it would be fine if I did the surgery... but he said he wasn't sure, so he said that maybe he'd try a different method, like a di","and then the car is gonna go and the tires go around and the car goes like this and then he goes in the car and the car is the same color as mine, and","weeeeeewwwwwwwwww....my back...my back...it hurts...ahh...ahh....my back hurts...aahh...oh my god...my back hurts so","and he had his black hair and a blue shirt and i had red hair and a pink shirt, and i had black shorts and he had green shorts, and i was sitting on a","and I had a friend whose mom got cancer and she said, you know, if you don't have a friend that can look after your mom, you know if she gets sick and","I got a new phone... it was like when i went to the doctor's and i had to give my mom a ride and i had a phone. I went to get my new phone and I","I was thinking about how much I've been doing a lot of these last two weeks and how I haven't been doing any of these other ones. Like, I had my own p","the idea of a class that was on Friday and I had to cancel my flight. So that would mean I would have to take an earlier flight to go to class. So I'm","So the first two questions are about, you know, the things you would like to see more of and the things that you would like less. So, I don't know, ma","I'm a bit worried that if I start getting like, kind of sick from like, stuff, you know, like, that might make like, it might be harder to be in like,","I'm still really enjoying the movie. I don't have much to say about it, I'm still thinking about it but I feel like I got a good night's sleep so I th","and I don't know why, but it's the first time I've felt this way, I don't remember if I've said it to you before or not, I was like, I was","I don't really feel like doing homework for English today, I'm not that into the class, and it's not something I want to spend my time on. Maybe I sho","so it's 5 days before summer vacation and we're still going to have school next week so it's not so bad but we're going to have 8 days of school next ","and Iโ€™m thinking of the summer and like what happened and then, Iโ€™m like, what do you do, you just like go and like, Iโ€™m going to like go to the movie","And I think that... I'm going to go to New York, I don't know if it's gonna be too late, but like, maybe I'm gonna go to the Met or something,","so I feel like I don't want to go back to the US and I don't wanna come back to the UK, I don't know how I feel about that. I was just like,","and then you know I've been like that for, for like, three years. And now I've got my own place. And I'm like, oh my gosh, it's been hard","like, a lot of my friends are, they don't know how to speak English. Like, they're like, they're more comfortable in the language, because they're lik","and so we're gonna go to the store on Friday, and we're gonna get like, uh, all the supplies. Um, I have some stuff here that's just gonna sit in my b","okay, yeah, so i'm i'm, uh, thinking about my, uh, my daughter and, uh, she's in middle school, and she's been talking about, uh, like","the past is over, and the future is in your hands. You have a lot to do, but you're doing it. You're doing it well, you're doing it on time, and","my head is hurting... but I can't get the headphones in... my head hurts and I can't do anything... I'm just like a human robot. And then I'm going to","and i have i have a lot of plans, like you know i want to get a car but i i don't really want to get one i don't know what i'm gonna do with it","And that was before the pandemic, yeah. So, yeah. I was like, yeah, it was like, hey, you know, you know? So, yeah, I guess it was like","I'm really surprised because I just got back from a trip to Japan. And, I remember having a conversation with someone. We're like, I think it's one of","I can't wait. It's gonna be fun. It's not gonna be as good as it could be, but it's gonna be good. And I'm gonna get to see some of the","like a normal person. I have to. I have. I have the experience and. I have a lot of experience in this. I can help. And I. I like to help people.","I'm actually in my hotel right now and I've been having a really good week. I'm doing really well on this game, and it's been so much fun to play this","[the] most important thing I think I did was get the best possible recording for the recording. That's something that you kind of want to keep in mind","okay, so I'm gonna be a programmer, and I'm gonna focus on making a mobile app... I've been thinking about how to design a mobile app that would make ","oh, I know. I don't want to use the same words but I want to be a good example. I'm going to use words like, like, 'I'm going to...,'","yeah I can imagine that being fun to watch and it's hard for me to imagine someone taking over someone else's body. I think maybe they just get really","my name is Asher and I am a 28 year old software engineer in Sydney, Australia. I have a partner and three cats. I usually work from home as a full-st","I am here to support the local community, so I can say I am doing it for them. But, of course, this also helps me. It's just a thing, because there is"],["we donโ€™t know anything about the nature of the other mind, so you have to think in terms of the other as a human being, as a person, as a real person ","and then I'm going to get married and I'm going to have two children and they're going to be girls and I'm not going to have to deal with that and the","I don't know, I don't know if that's right. I don't know what I would do if I had the chance, I think I would do the same, but I don't","it's a big thing for us to take time off, even just a few days, in the middle of the year, when everything's going so fast...that's one thing I really","I think my parents, they, when I was little, my parents were really, they really... I guess, my parents, you know, were really strict. They were just,","I went to this place that I didn't want to go to, and it's a small room. And you go in there and there's a wall with the picture of a dog. And the","I can see them running in the distance. That's why it's so beautiful. You know, the way the sun just goes behind the mountains, the way it looks in th","[I'm] going to make a sandwich. [I'm] in my kitchen, and the coffee's not hot, so I'm going to put a cup on the burner and [I'm","it's like an iceberg... it's like a very large iceberg and you can see it at the bottom of the sea. And then, you know, you can't see it because it's ","I'm walking along. I'm going along. And I see the road going away. I see the trees. I see a big tree with a very big branch. It's got a very big","and this is where it is going to be, the river, and this is what's in the river. Oh, no, this is where I'll plant them. I'll plant the trees,","so I have a dream that I will be president one day. And then I'll be president. And then people will come to the White House. And then there will be a","a little bit of water. If we could get some water in here. That's it. Well, it's dry in here. We can't get any. It's all dried up. But","that's good, huh?...It's going to be a good year, huh?..That's good. Yeah, that's good. I know. It's going to get warmer, too","you see, I can't get it together, you know, I can never get it together. I mean, I've been working on it for, for four hours. I don't know what","I've got a daughter in college. I thought I was going to get one in college, and she had to get out of there. And she's got two brothers. She's the ol","and I think of all the things I have to do tomorrow and I think of the car and I'm going to wash it and then I'm going over to see the new neighbors a","and now I'm going to have to go into work tomorrow and I'm not going to get to stay home, so I'm going to start this up, so I'll have to get a piece","I see this little girl and the little boy with the... uh... [blanked out]. And I think to myself, I wonder why? Why? Why does the little boy have to g","we're in our living room. Oh, I think we'd better move to the dining room. There's a table there, and we're going to put the Thanksgiving dinner on th","The flowers on the right of me have gone brown, I know. The one on the left has been dead a long time. I'm going to have to put it in the trash. The o","there was a big fire and the fireman came and the firemen came to put out the fire... oh, there was a fire in the house... oh, they... they... they ca","and I am in the house of the president and I'm standing on the steps and I am wearing a brown skirt and a blue shirt and there are white gloves and wh","and so he said, 'I've got something to tell you, I've got something important to tell you,' he said. He said, 'My brother has just died. I'm going to","I can't go to school today. The teacher wants to put a sticker on my notebook for not doing my homework. I am going to tell the teacher, 'I don't have","my baby, oh, I hope he's getting along with all his friends. Oh, I hope. I hope he won't fall off his bike. And I hope he'll eat his vegetables.","so that's what we'll have to do, we're gonna get married on Sunday...and then I guess we're gonna have to get married on Monday night, then we'll have","the problem was, we couldn't find any food. We walked around everywhere for two hours and couldn't find anything. But we tried, I mean. I was really h","and the car went, and the car, and it went into the garage and I said, 'I can't find the key'. And the dog came and ran away. And I said, '","I was thinking I had a dream. I had a little boy, you know, I had a big little boy. A little boy in a yellow suit. His name was...his name was...","I am sitting in a chair. I have my paper in my hand. I want to ask you some more questions, but I don't know what to ask you. I want you to answer it","we could get our own place here. We could go to the movie every night, and stay up late and watch TV, and go to the mall and go to lunch. We could get","the red carpet is like this. I mean you just... just put it in front of the door and like, you put it in the front of the house and you just put it do","my legs and feet are all numb. I am so sleepy. I want to go to sleep. I am sleepy. I am sleeping. I am dreaming. I am going to go to the bathroom","I have a problem with that. I don't think I have a problem. It's just that I'm a little nervous because I've got to go to school tomorrow and I have t","and then I was gonna go to a party and there was like this one girl, like really nice hair and she was wearing like these like hot pants and they were","I remember seeing that movie, where you know, they had that car chase in it and they had like, a car that went over the bridge and it was like, a, a, ","so you can see, you can see me? ... i'm a big girl ... i'm very very tall ... i'm tall ... i'm fat ... i'm gonna be a big fat girl ...","I have a daughter who's nine years old and she's going to be in a school play tomorrow and she's playing the lead in it and she has to memorize the so","And I'm not happy about it. I'm not glad about it. 'Cause I know that's what I'm gonna do, and my mom will be there, and my dad will be there","And I'm gonna go to the theater and I'm gonna get dressed up and I'm just gonna wear a dress and a dress that I used to wear when I was in first grade","we went to the store to get bread and then we went to get diapers and then we had a baby shower. I want a baby shower and I want to get a dress for th","I am in a kitchen, and the food is a salad, and I'm going to do a dance to it, and then I'm going to turn around, and I think of my sister.","I'm at the park. I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, I think I have a banana in my pocket. I have a balloon. I have ice cream. I have candy.","the baby's baby blanket is blue and pink and he says it's a blanket because it's got the bunny and a sun in it and he's got his doll and the doll's go","and i just...i have the picture in my head of the boy sitting on the floor. He's a boy, about five years old. And he's sitting on the...floor and he's","and we're not going to play with it anymore because it's too small so I'm just going to cut it out with the scissors and put it down on the floor and ","you can make a book, and make it a little bigger. Like you can put a big picture in the front and some other pictures in the middle and then a big pic","we had a guy in our class this year who was, like, really skinny...and then one day, I got in and he was just like, he was really fat and he didn't li","and it's like you're in the forest, and the forest has these really cool trees, but they don't have any leaves, like all they have are like big branch","a man with a hat that looks like a cowboy hat is eating a hot dog and his name is, well his name is like, 'Jonathon, J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N,","it's all just in here.... I'm gonna.... I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, I think I'm gonna go... I'm gonna try to go.... I'm trying to go","the person in my mind is a girl who is very cute and she is a girl I am close with, and we are very close. So she's like my little sister and we are r","yeah, I mean I think that I could get a dog, because, like, I love my dog and my dog's name is Luna. But, I also I think I could get a cat","and then I was like, why the hell would you do that? But I think that's pretty cool and I'm pretty happy with it and that's the one that I put on the ","I have been a very good friend. I don't think that I have ever cheated. I mean, I don't lie about it. I just say, I know I'll never cheat, but","it's all gonna be okay... i hope.. yeah yeah yeah yeah... i'm glad that you're my friend.. and you're always there for me.. whenever i need someone to","i think that is an example of when you could say, well, you know, i do think it's true, but you know, but it's not necessarily true. But i think it's","so I've been thinking about the past few days. It's been kinda slow so far but I don't think it'll stay that way for long. I was thinking about how I ","I have to be careful that I don't go into the same panic I had for the first month when I found out I had to do a presentation. It's so scary to do it","it's just a dream about this whole thing, and I don't know if I'm going to be okay with it and then I thought about the other girl that was talking ab","and then it's like, 'oh I'll just take a random one', and it's like 'okay you're really gonna do it now', and I'll go and make an account and I","itโ€™s like Iโ€™m being thrown around by some weird wind, and my thoughts are just all over the place and theyโ€™re super fast, and I canโ€™t stop them, but t","you don't know how to play the flute, but you can make cool noises like a flute player does, and the other person listens and is like 'wtf?' and I'm l","the teacher's gonna get mad at me for saying something she didn't mean and it's like the whole time she's talking I'm thinking of the girl that got ki","I wonder if she'd want to be with me? I'd probably just drive her nuts but maybe she'd still love me and not be mad? Maybe I'd still like her if we we","i was like, ok, i'll see what i can do...it's not like i can't write songs, it's just...it's a hard thing to put out there, and i","Iโ€™m gonna need an extra cup of coffee right now...yeah, thatโ€™s it. Iโ€™ll grab a cup of coffee and just kinda think about this all day and write about i","you know I'm so angry right now because I have an idea and then I have an urge to stop but I can't because that's what's going on I feel like I can't ","this is weird. this is weird... it's weird... it's not that I feel bad, I just feel... weird, you know like my brain feels... weird... and it's just..","i am so hungry and i was hoping i could go out for food today but it's like, i don't really care, and i don't know. I don't know if i can go","I'm just going to say, I don't know what to do about this situation. I don't think I have the energy to try and make it work. I think I'm just going t","i don't know where the word is but it's a word i've been hearing a lot recently it's just like a little bit of a curse it's a curse word i'm like well","[singsong] Oh, baby, I've been thinking about you... I'm trying to think of something to say, but nothing's coming to me. [sings] Oh, oh","oh god I have nothing to say like what did you just say, uh, Iโ€™m sorry I donโ€™t really know, I have no idea. Oh god. Iโ€™m sorry, I donโ€™t","oh I know it's probably going to be like this and it's gonna be like this because I've got these worries like I'm gonna get a stomach virus because I ","and they're all about a little guy that I can't really remember his name...but he's just like...he's really big. He's...he's like this, this giant...h","I remember when I was 19, I was like 19 years old and I had to go to my brother's house for a holiday. My mom, she's like, my mom","I'm going to watch something really funny on Netflix. I was going to watch it when I was alone in my bedroom, but I don't really want to be by myself.","I'm...I'm kind of having a hard time not having a hard time. I'm not saying that it's a hard time, but like I feel like I'm not supposed to be like","what we do for ourselves, we must also do for ourselves. Like the things we're doing right now. We're doing something right now. I'm trying to work on","and like I said, I feel like I'm not ready for the new job because I don't think I can handle the hours or that it's a job that's just a job to me,","I was trying to think of a good title for my essay, and it's like, I'm just trying to think about it, like, 'what do you want to say, or what can","I feel like my mind is just running through these endless ideas and thoughts and it's so hard to focus because there's like, all these things competin","you know, I mean, it's like, there's this like, this feeling of like, like, like pressure or whatever, or just, you know, like, the like, the pressure","I've been having a lot of these thoughts and I can't even find words for them and I just have these random images or thoughts and I just let them come","I am getting bored... I just think about stuff... I'm sitting here and just like... like... I'm not... I don't have to do anything right now... so I'm","I'm trying to remember... [chuckles] it's a bad day... [sighs] I don't know. I mean it's just a bad day, it's been a bad","And I'm like, okay, so, what am I saying? This is what I'm thinking, you know? I'm like... Okay, so, I'm just like, like... Okay","I'm thinking that the people who are thinking about buying my house are like I'm trying to figure out who is going to buy it. So I'm going to put some","I don't know why people are so angry... like why is there so much... like why... like is there like... is there a point to why people are like this? L","so...so I got...I got...I've...I've been trying to write a novel for a little over a year now...and I'm really struggling. And...and it's just","I think I've been thinking about a lot of things, and I'm trying to figure out how to be less worried about all the things that I can't change, becaus","so I'm watching this video about like the effects of climate change on the birds that migrate and stuff and I'm like, okay, I'm just going to go to a ","I just think about a lot of things at work. So, it's really just a lot of information going in and out. And so, I kind of feel like I have a lot of,","so I just keep going down this rabbit hole of, like, a lot of different thoughts, and it's kind of interesting to see because they're not really linea","I think Iโ€™m supposed to say something, I have this urge to say something to people... I just feel like I have this compulsion to do it, to say things.","and I know I have a lot of stuff I need to get done but it feels really overwhelming so I'm thinking I'm going to try to write a lot of my thoughts do","and I'm like, 'yeah, I'm probably gonna take a little nap, maybe just lay down for like five or ten minutes, but if I get hungry and need to go to the","I think I am still on the train and we are getting off and I am feeling this weird thing and I am not really sure what is going on and I don't think I","I can't believe that's what happened...that's so sad...I'm thinking about going home...I'm feeling really anxious...I'm trying to relax...I'm wonderin","I'm thinking about my life. It's been a lot of work. I've been working hard, but it's been a lot more fun than I expected. I'm happy. I'm trying","I don't feel like I'm having an off day. I just feel like I need a break and maybe I'll just come back here, which is the way it's been. I don't","so i'm in a way, you know, trying to go through some kind of thing and make my life a little better. i'm not sure how. i'm trying to make some money.","Iโ€™m going to do something stupid. Iโ€™m going to go outside and play video games for an hour and then walk outside. Iโ€™ve got like 7 video games. Iโ€™m gon","I think I'm going to do a new version of the show next week. I don't know how this one is going to go. But I think I'll have more fun with it this tim","I'm like, okay, so you know, like, if I were like, I don't know, I've been thinking about maybe starting a new project, maybe like, like, you know","so like, the worst thing that could happen in this movie is the same thing that happened in that one with the guy like he gets in this car and there's","so that's what it's like. It's like if you had a lot of time on your hands and you were like, okay I'm going to read this book and then you're like,","and like in the other podcast, itโ€™s a pretty serious, a pretty serious thing. I feel bad because itโ€™s like, itโ€™s kind of like itโ€™s like Iโ€™m like, it,","uh the end of the day, I feel like I've accomplished a lot today, and I'm just like, I don't know, I don't feel like I'm really enjoying it. But","[the] last day of the semester [and] you have no idea what's happening [in] like four classes. So I'm just going to like try and get through that and ","it's like I'm in a coma, like my brain's just completely stopped. Like I'm just like... I don't know, I don't have any thoughts. I don't... I","I've been thinking about what I'll say tomorrow... I'm going to be going to like 5 classes and I'm like just thinking about what's gonna be on them an","I'm thinking about a birthday party, like two weeks from now. I don't want to have to deal with having to go to the store or any of that. I don't have","I'm actually really tired. I was like, what? It's like, I'm not getting a ton of sleep. So I'm going to try to, like, just do a little bit","I'm like, yeah, I'm, like, if I were to do it, I would just, I think it would be best to just do a full day of like, like, you","uh, you know I'm gonna do well in this class. I got to take it I feel like I'm doing good. And I know that I've studied for the class. I know that","like we talked about, like, with my girlfriend, I was like, you know, we were trying to make a plan for a trip or, or something, you know? Like, like,","you can't do that because then you'll just have like a group chat that'll be like 4000 people and then you don't even want to be friends with 400","like I'm sitting in like a room and like I'm just like I don't know I just like sitting there thinking I'm like okay like so this like so like like I ","So, umm. I don't really want to talk about this. But umm, I am, I'm looking at some of my old music, and I just want to, you know","So I've got this, this idea. Like, I'm thinking about like, you know, like, like a little like, like like a like, like, um, like, I don","I'm trying to think of a way that I can do my job and still be a little bit better about not overdoing things and not, not overloading on stuff. And t","I feel like I'm at the very bottom of my career right now...and I think, I feel like I should be at least at the top or middle of my career like right","i am just thinking about something that i want to do in the next few months so it's sort of a list of things i wanna do in the near future or over the","I want to think of all the ways that I can make money, like, you know, I just started a business and I think I have a pretty good idea of where I wann","And, and, yeah. Like. So I like to have people know that I have my own business and I'm I'm trying to grow it up as I go but I'm like, yeah","I just like to listen to music right now. Like if I'm going to work or just going on errands and things like that, I just want to have my headphones o","my mind is not blank and that's what's exciting. I'm not blank and I'm like a kid playing video games or something and I'm just like I don't even know","and it's like when I'm like watching, like a movie or something, like when I was like on like a school thing, and then there's like a certain part of ","I'm actually like the best, I'm like the best. Like I'm actually, like I'm the best at the most like, like anything that I've ever been at. I'm like","this is where we have a problem. We have to go to the market, but I'm really busy, so I don't even know what to say to her. And it's also because I","and there's my cat, she's the only one in the family who's like that, she's like a human being, she's got a lot of problems, like a lot of people,","I'm tired, I'm tired. And it's 4:30, and I'm still at home. Like, I was just here, I was here. I'm tired because I","and we did the whole thing for three days in a row and I didn't do any of it like that. And then I started to get sick and I was like, I'm gonna stop ","oh, I was having some dreams last night and it was just like in the last dream. And it's like, it was like it was a real bad dream. But it's just like","yeah so I was really, really really really tired and I wanted to go to bed like last night I was like 3am and I was just so tired I had like 5.4.","yeah yeah so I was thinking about the money because like I don't really want to be doing this like all the time right and I just, you know I feel bad ","like, we're like, we are so so, like we just made a big decision for us like we're like we're gonna be like, like we're really just like we're not goi","I'm gonna have to look up the word in my dictionary. You know, I had a dictionary for a while and then I lost it. But I know that it has something to ","I don't know how it's going to happen, but I have a feeling that we're going to make it through it. We're going to be okay. But I don't know. I","I've been having dreams of this like 20 times now that it's the holiday and like it's like you know it's like a good one to get some of your friends o","And then I got my first dog and it was just this huge, you know, like a giant... like a really big German Shepherd. And I named him Lancelot and he wa","like you're talking to me when I'm not even awake or not awake but then I'm like oh this is so funny because then it's like oh you're talking to an as","my mom and dad are really good about being like 'I'm not a parent to my daughter, I'm her mom and I'm her dad.' Like they're just like, 'No, you","like i said, the other day i was like, i think i might have a good idea for a story, like a very long story. So like i was like... i was like I was","and like, like I was like trying to like figure out how like, like, you know like the, like what is like, like what was like the, the like, like you k","oh no no no. Oh no. So you know what I mean. I'm like I'm like... I don't know what happened I'm like the 21st of the month and","and it's like... i've been saying this for years and now it's like i'm just... i'm just doing it because it's like a... like a... just a... it's","I feel like the sun is not shining today, I feel like, uh, there's a lot of negativity, uh, out there, you know, it's, it's really, it's","I think it's, it's kind of, I'm having a good day, I'm like, it's like I'm on a kind of like, it like, like it's kind of","yeah, yeah. I, I'm going to, you know, like, I'm really sorry like, like, like... I'm so sorry. Like, you know how like, like how","my arms are sore. I need to get some rest. I am tired. I am so tired. And then I am going to sleep. I am going back to sleep. And I am going","and I'm like, oh my gosh, I didn't think of this but I was just, like, in the car today, and it's like, I was like, I need to","my parents are really worried about me. I'm a pretty good daughter. I have no siblings. I have a boyfriend. I don't think he's doing much with his lif","[I'm] thinking about the last episode of the show that I watched, because it was... I didn't really know how much time I had left before the show, so ","you know what they say like, like you know, I just keep thinking like, oh man, I don't know. It's like, I just don't know, you know, like,","i mean, you know, i just look at the weather and you know, uh, i i just i think like, okay, you know how you're like, you know what, you know","I was watching a documentary on the history of the 1840's, and I'm like, wow. Like, what a horrible period of time in terms of like, economic and soci","It's just this, like, you know, like, when you're in a car, and it's like, you're just, you just drive around all day. I mean, you have","and then I think, you know, this is not a good time to be talking to me. I mean, if it's an emergency, you know? You know, you just need to call","what's this, uh, I don't know, it's like the other side of the river, so, so it's like, it's a bridge to the other side. And then it","I think the whole reason why I'm still single is because I don't want to get married, and I think it's really not good to get married at 29. I don't k","I don't have a lot of time on my hands because I don't really like to watch the news on TV because I think it's very negative. I don't like the news b","this is a thing, I think, where it's like, you know, in a way, there's a lot of ways people just like, we don't do much, but we are like","[I'm] worried about how I'm going to get back to my place from here. It's a long way from my place and there's so many traffic jams on the way and the","yeah. I donโ€™t even like to do this because Iโ€™m like, oh, my gosh, like I have to take care of my dog. Like, Iโ€™m not even here, and","and then I have to figure out what to do with my life. So, what to do? I don't want to do my job. I'm in finance. It's like I don't","and then the whole thing with the stuff in the trunk. I guess it was about six months ago now. And I had just gotten my new car and my girlfriend and ","this is like a new movie. The other movie is, like, so long, but then it was like the main character died. Like I was, I was like, I was going to go","I feel like the world has taken me by surprise. It's not that I didn't see this coming. I just never imagined it would happen in this way or with this","I think the new plan for my team is to have a strategy meeting with the new people to introduce them to the new process and what we have in the new ye","I wonder what it's like to be in a team with someone from a different background. For example, I once worked on a project with someone from Australia,","I wonder what it's like to be a refugee in this time. What are the biggest challenges? I'm trying to imagine what that would be like, being displaced ","this is the moment where we really kind of just sit back and say, what else can we do to support this? What else do we need to do to make sure that we","I was in a room in an office. It was an empty room. There was no furniture. It was a space to do work. I was in it to do my work. I have to","I guess you can just think of something you want to get done. It could be something like I want to buy a new car. But maybe you want to sell your curr","what's the name of the organization that's been taking over my town in recent years. You know, like, the ones that are kind of like like, you know, th","we're working on a project for the university, for the computer science department... it's a project about the university's AI department. We have bee","and then what happens if the user is on the go with the application and they've got an email or something and then they are on the go and they open a ","[about 10 minutes earlier] I was at a party where a friend had a table with all kinds of [various items], I think it was like a promotional table. And","So I was thinking about how people, as they get older and they have children, they may start to become more dependent on their kids because their kids","the main issue is, is there a way for me to see if the right people are there to join our team? ... what I need to be doing is... I need to make sure ","and then I thought of something that I'm actually doing now. I have a course right now that's been going on for 4 months. And that course was created ","we have to go to a new city. I've been looking into a lot of the options and the cities that are available and they've all got great things to offer. ","I was watching a video about this person and they said 'my mother passed away in 2021'. I didn't have any real thoughts. I was just listening to the v","so you know when you're like getting the news and they're like okay so you know in the past like they were like the FBI had like the guy that was in c","so it's a whole new process with all these other companies, with these other partners. There's a lot of other things to manage, there's a lot more to ","and it's like that you have to do this kind of thing because you have to have an idea for how the person would experience what you're creating and lik","I know that the whole idea of an individual with this technology is very far from the way we use it today. I'm also aware of how technology has evolve","It's interesting how many times in the past, in the recent history, you know, that, for example, we used to say that we'll try to create some kind of,","I was also just thinking about this is very weird because when people say they want to be part of the solution they're part of the problem. So what's ","I had this really vivid dream last night that was like a nightmare. I was on an island and I was like, 'Oh my god, I'm going to be stranded on this is","the question is if this is a useful tool for getting things out of your head and into a place where you can't lose them. But, you have to be aware of ","a lot of people say that theyโ€™re not interested in learning, but in the back of their heads theyโ€™re like, โ€˜I really want to learn, I just need a way t","I think I have a problem with the way my body is, the way that I'm feeling. So, I just started this new routine. And it's been working pretty good. I ","I am thinking about all of those things that I haven't been able to do, like going on a vacation or something like that, you know. I've been feeling t","so i can go back to it later i'll keep the file but i'll i'll just remove it and have a look at it because i can just remove the file from the app and","we should start the whole thing over, I think, we should get more, um, I don't know what, I don't want to use a lot of the time to make this a lot","I have a lot of responsibilities. I have a very long list of things that I need to get done today. I have to make sure that I don't miss anything impo","it's not just you and I. So, it's more like the way people react to things that you know, in like in the back of your brain that you have that maybe l","So I was reading this book. The book is about AI and how it's changing the job market. And I'm thinking, what do you think about the potential impact ","And also, if I'm not going to have a meeting, then I can do other things. Like maybe I can go for a walk or I can do some personal development stuff o","I can't remember the last time I was really happy. I think it's been a couple of years, maybe. I've been working from home, which has been great for m","uh-huh, yeah. You know, I don't know what to do. I've got a lot of bills to pay, so I don't have a lot of cash. But, yeah","um ... uh ... yeah, we've got a lot of, um ... we've got ... we've had a lot of ... uh ... um ... we're looking at ... we're ... we're","I was thinking about how to make a website, like I've made a website before, and I was thinking about the challenges of making a website. Like, how to","because I really like how I'm thinking right now. I like how I think right now, I like the direction that my thought is going, but I want to do some m","that's it, that's it. ... I just want to go home. ... I know that's probably a good thing, to not stress about it. ... Maybe I should do that. ...","I was thinking about you when I was reading this. I was like, yeah, it's a good article. It's, uh, it's like a lot of these kind of articles. And","I don't think that would happen in the U.S. But, you know, it's it's it's the nature of the beast. It's it's more difficult to get to a certain","and this is just like when you get like, and you see something in the news, and you're like, I'm glad that's over now, right? Like, it's just like,","I think it was... I was kind of looking up there... I remember once I was driving and there was a car behind me... I was on the highway and I think it","[The participant] was having trouble. I was thinking about my parents. I was feeling so sad about all the things they've been through. I was worried a","okay, so that's kind of interesting, I'm in my head right now, I'm like, okay, this is just what's going on. I just need to talk to them, just","I want to start with a question. What is the best way to learn the difference between a blog post and a regular post? I think that's really important ","so I'm trying to figure out, why did the second question come up, if you don't mind, what was the first one, and why did you choose that one, what was","So, yeah, I think the reason I've been feeling this way is just because I haven't gotten any sleep for a few days now, because I was having a little b","I was at a party the other day. This was a little party where we just had to get together. I was there with a friend, we just had a good conversation,","So I think I've got an idea for how we can do that, I'm not sure if I want to share it yet, but we have a couple of ideas, we've already thought about","yeah, like my current situation is I'm trying to make sure that I'm not overthinking things, like, but I feel like that's the only way to, but the oth","I just realized that I don't have much to say about the project, actually, I have a lot of thoughts, but they're kind of abstract or they're kind of j","I was going to say this. I feel like I'm always a little bit of a ham. I'm trying to be a bit more in the moment. I feel like a lot of times I","yeah and it's interesting because I had a few thoughts before I left this morning where I was like, I don't want to do this and I'm gonna do it and so","I'm going to have to call my friend because my wife's not answering her phone and I'm trying to figure out what's happening. So, I'm just going to cal","the whole thing has been such a drag for me, it's been so much hassle, you know, just the constant changes in the plans and stuff like that. It's been","I think I'll have a snack in the morning. I'll probably have a smoothie. I'm a big fan of plant-based food. I think I need to try some new snacks. I","and then the other day I was in a coffee shop and I got like a little bit of this little, like, uh, like a like, like, um, a little bit, a little","uh... what is it? A good question. Uh... well I guess the first thing that came to mind was like, I think it's a little bit of a new kind of like, it","yeah, we were just going to go do like, you know, like, oh, I don't know, like a game of chess, or something, because I had that I had some like","oh it's a 10, 2, 20, 90, 10000, 36, 27, 28, 3","And I think it's going to be a lot like my parents. My dad is kind of a crazy old man who's always up at like two a.m. in the morning doing like a ton","so it was 1670. Then I had a conversation with my parents. My parents said, 'you can go to the gym and we will send the money to your card' but","oh, so now that you're here you're gonna be more like the others who are in the same situation as you and you're just trying to get by and that's how ","you know I am going to do that, it's not like I don't think it's the right thing to do, it's just like, it's a lot of work, right? So","And you know how it is. It's just, I mean, yeah, I don't like, I don't really like the idea that we're not in school, but at the same time","I'm thinking about... I've been thinking about my sister. I miss her so much. She's my oldest. My older sister. And I... I miss her a lot. I just feel","yeah, I donโ€™t know. I just think itโ€™s just, yeah, itโ€™s just not really important, I don't know. I think that there are things that are more important ","I was just going to say, I think this is going to be really hard for a lot of people in the coming months. I know I am, and I think it's going to be a","the worst part about the coronavirus pandemic is the lack of understanding from my generation about the impact of this pandemic on our grandparents an","I was like, 'I am sorry. I feel like it's such a big deal. I'm sorry I'm not getting the job done and making you feel so bad. I'm working on","and that's what's been weighing on me a lot: this idea that there's going to be another big game like this. It's already been so stressful, and I've b","I want to have a lot of friends who can help me with my ideas. And then, if I have any problems, I can just ask them for advice. And I think that's so","it's like a puzzle where I need to figure out which pieces go together. Maybe the best way is to ask for help or to talk about it with others. It can ","what I've been thinking about recently is like a big puzzle box or something, with all these different pieces that don't quite fit together. It's like","I'm actually thinking about the song... 'Dynamite'... I'm actually working out a few new melodies for the song. I think I'm gonna go with this one. It","Iโ€™m doing a thinking-aloud exercise right now, where Iโ€™ll try to just narrate everything I think of and say in the next few minutes, as Iโ€™m just letti","[21] oh my God. What does this look like? Yeah, [22] maybe this is like the last thing I wanted to say is, I'm going to say it now","And that's the point. And that's a big difference between the way that most people think about artificial intelligence and what we're doing, which is ","we can see what happens when you ask somebody to do that, and see the output of the brain. So, for example, they might start to talk about an image. T","the brain is a little bit like a cloud of atoms and electrons. Like a cloud in the sky, it's like a collection of atoms and electrons, but the state o","a small thing that I have just seen in a video was really interesting, I can't tell you what it was exactly but I think it was something about the vis","uh-huh, uh-huh. Let's see what's coming to my mind right now, hmm. Uh, I'm in the living room right now, sitting in a chair, thinking about","yeah, there was a thing about, like, like, I don't know. I think it's something to do with like the thing that was on the website that the group had m","oh, uh, a, a, you know, there's a, um, a little, a, uh, something I'm going to, I'm going to try to do that's gonna","I feel like my life is kind of weird. I donโ€™t know how to really define it. Iโ€™m in a different phase of my life right now than when I started the stud","I remember when I used to have a very hard time. I was about 16. I went to high school, and I had a girlfriend that I was dating. She was the most imp","I'm thinking about the people who have been around the most. I remember that, you know, the first time I met with them and, and they were all in the s","it's all a bit of a mystery because they're all a bit, like I said, I'm not really sure where they're coming from. Like, they're not really sure, like","I'm trying to think of a joke. I'm thinking of the joke that we played. It was a joke that a friend told me. I think the punchline of the joke was tha","And I'm sitting here with my cat and I'm listening to this song and it's like... it's kind of like... it's a song about... about... it's like, I don","we talked a bit about that the other day. It was so funny, I mean like, it's just, it's like, like when you say that like when you're like, you know","the sky's so blue right now and I feel like I should start a blog but I don't want to think about it too much right now, but I'm not sure what it's go","Iโ€™m not sure how many things Iโ€™m going to need to remember to do later. I think Iโ€™m going to have to write down some of this stuff so I donโ€™t forget i","I'm looking at the camera, thinking about the fact that there's some kind of, I don't know, a thought about, like, I have to stop, I can't stop thinki","I'm like the girl with the big feet. It's weird because she's always wearing the shoes. It's like, okay, she's wearing the shoes, but she's not wearin","And the most important part of it is that when you're in a meeting, you're not actually thinking about what you're trying to say. You're thinking abou","I feel like I'm just kind of working on something that I'm not even sure that I can really share or do. It's like I have this thing that I've been wor","I have a question... What is this? I don't know how to do it. Oh, okay, I just got a notification from my team. They're doing it in a different way.","and now I'm going to talk to my cat about my feelings. And then I'm going to say, you know, 'Hey cat, I feel like this today.' And then I'll try","this is a thing Iโ€™ve wanted to do forever, but I havenโ€™t done it yet. Iโ€™m thinking about it right now, and Iโ€™m going to go ahead and do it. Iโ€™m","yeah, I mean I'm like, I'm just like, like, I mean, I guess I'm kind of, like, you know, I'm like a little, you know, a","and Iโ€™m doing a thing that I think is like, a lot of people do, but maybe less people do. Like I think Iโ€™m doing, and maybe itโ€™s just because I have a","[S]omebody, I don't know if they're even a real person, but they're somebody that's been like an inspiration to me because they've like been through a","it's kind of weird that this is kind of my first time just doing this, like, writing out what's going on in my mind, like, in the last like, maybe two","you know, you know, like, when you're, like, trying to plan, you know like, like a trip, you know and then like you're trying to plan a trip, and","the fact that I have a lot of like, really short and simple ideas that I want to turn into like, a lot of different videos is like, one of those thing","like in your head... you just like... I just thought this was an interesting... question so I'm going to think about that for a while. What is... what","I am a fan of a TV show called The Office and I used to watch it back when I was like 18 years old. It was funny back then and now I like it a lot","Iโ€™m not gonna say anything, and then Iโ€™m gonna get out of this and then Iโ€™m just gonna take a walk and then I donโ€™t know, I donโ€™t remember what I was ","[20:15] Alright, let's see. I'm thinking about this problem here, which is to find all of the ways to divide 20 by 4. So I","And then the sun is setting so I'm watching the sunset and I think, what if I was able to walk on the sun? It's so cool! So, I'm looking at the sun","I wonder what my birthday would be in 20 years. And what is my birth month? I was born in December, so in 2024, it will be December. And","Iโ€™m on a plane and Iโ€™m going to see my daughter. I have her. Iโ€™m not sure. Iโ€™m going home to see her and weโ€™re going to have a nice day and","like, you know, and that's, that's like the last thing I had to do is like, you know. I guess that's like a day off tomorrow. Yeah, you know I","this is my favorite part of my day, this is the part of the day I go, I get to get to play, you know, like, I get to do, like, do stuff","I know you're not supposed to do that, but I was thinking about how I was trying to stay positive because I've been on a long, long run for two weeks,","just finished reading a book called 'The Big Sleep', which is like a noir classic. It's an old school, like a '50s, like a James Bond-style, like a re","And the person who's most similar to me is like, this person on here is like, is like me, I guess. I think so. I'm not really sure, though, because I","I don't want to go on the job market anymore. I don't want. I don't really. I don't wanna do it, and it's like I can't get on it.","[10:26] So the point is, I don't have any real choice here, do I? I don't want to go back. It's so easy for me to say","and now I'm thinking about the last time I went out with my friend and we were watching a movie and my friend had her arm around me and she said, 'I'm","and then you see the moon, and then you're like, what the hell? like, oh my god, I didn't know it was happening!... [laughs] and then you go,","yeah, it's like this, it's kind of this, it would be cool to live here, but it's like, there's no real good way to live here. I'm like,","okay so what if they are actually doing it? like, if they are doing it like, oh yeah, they are doing this. like, if the world is actually a simulation","i don't really like that. like, i'm just like, i don't want to play it. like, the game is so so bad, like it's really bad, and i don","[the participant is on the phone with a friend, in the middle of a conversation. They're having a discussion about a topic that's coming up in their d","I'm not sure how much that's true, because I haven't thought about it very much... but I guess it's true because there's a lot of people that just... ","I'm not sure how I would even do that. I don't know why I'm saying this. I don't even know why I just said that, but I'm like, oh, yeah","So I can't wait to finish this. Like this, like this. ... I'm not a big fan of the whole like I think the whole concept of like and the whole like thi","so I'm still pretty new at this, I guess, I mean, this is like my first time trying to just be like, 'hey, I want to sit here and just like think out","like i feel like there's a bunch of stuff that's happening in my head and i think a lot of the stuff that's going on is pretty useless. Like you know ","I have to go to the bathroom. Oh my god, I just saw a kitten. I can't believe I saw that. And that's a cat that's actually on the street and not in","this is a very... [unintelligible] ...a very very cool video, like it's like a video that's like a little like a little animation, and then it's like ","I'm gonna start this video and I'll put in my notes and I'll just keep talking while I'm recording. I'm just gonna say something out loud, and it's ju","this is... this is kind of a random thought that I just have. Like, when I was, I was doing an interview, I interviewed someone who is a, um, I think ","I'm so excited I was like, I'm gonna put up a post. And it's like, this is the post that I made in December. So I just wanted to share that with my","you know that I'm trying to do this, that I'm like, 'Okay, I'll give it a go and try and write it' but like, I feel like I've been in","like when I was like a little kid and we were doing like a summer camp, and like this is like the first time I got to meet people like this and I was ","I think we have a few days left of the semester. I think... I think we are just about there. So this is how we're going to do this. I think I'm going ","I'm... I'm writing some code for this. And I need to be able to pass... to be able to change the colors on the... the UI of the program, to the colors","And then the guy went and, uh, put like a little, a little little thing on it that, like, a little thing on the side of it that, uh, was like a little","I'm going to see if I can put a game together that is like a puzzle, like the one where you have to connect these dots and it's a picture of a cat and","I've been thinking about, how would I write, like, if I was to write this out as code? What would that be like? So, like, maybe I could use something ","I think I just did this with my cat a week ago. It was actually this exact thing, but with a mouse. I was like, I need to do this again but with a cat","I know a couple people who are into that like you know a couple of the games like they're like the same games but they're just like, I think, in the b","I've been thinking about my essay, like I've been writing it for like an hour now, and I've been kind of like stuck on like, well, what's the point of","it's just...I just realized like, I think I'm really good at this right now...I think I'm...I've just like gotten a lot better...like...I've been like","it's like the opposite of a poem, but it's more like the opposite of an essay, right? And then, like, I want to write a poem. Like, I want to get","yeah so I'm making a video of that, like a sort of short story and then like a script. And then I'll put that video on the screen and just like a vide","I have a dream of a world where all the people are happy and free. And we're not going to make it happen on our own. But I think we can do it. And we ","[a]re we here at the point where we can actually see the connection between the things that are coming out of the brain and the things that we are see","and I have this idea, let's say it's the same number as the other one, so let's say the same number of people. And this time, I'm gonna go to the left","okay so that's the thing. It's like this. This is this is this. And then there's this other thing. And then that. And then this. And this and that. An","I was watching a video about how the world has become much smaller with the advent of the internet and it made me think of something I had written abo","I don't know where I'm going, but I'm trying to figure it out. Like, where is this going? Where do I end up? What's the end goal? What's the","so what are we gonna do with our money now? Like, what are we going to do with our income. I don't know, we could save up for some big things that we ","so we had this conversation and he was like oh, weโ€™re going to do this, weโ€™re doing a live stream on our podcast, Iโ€™m on it and like thatโ€™s amazing an","So it's like, yeah, there's a lot of things that have happened like you said, and it's like my husband and I, we both have our own businesses and like","I remember a time, when I was in high school. And I was doing a project, where we had to make something. And we had to write a paper, and we had to ta","I wonder how many people have told you about that? So we had to meet and it was, I was the person who was like, oh my god, this is how I found out. I","yeah, so you know I've always had an interest in like, a lot of people that are interested in like, learning and things like that, so I'm always inter","this is like my first year in high school. I went to school for a year. I went to high school for a year and a half. So this is my high school experie","the end of the world, I think the end of the world was in 2012, but it's like it was a bit later. But it was something to do with the end","it's been a week of 5 days. Yeah, so you know, it was a little bit, there's been a lot of... yeah, and the plan was to like, keep it","uh, so the thing is, you know, uh, I'm really into the whole, like, you know the whole, uh, the whole, the whole the the the uh, the the","I don't know what it is, what I have to do...I have to be really focused on this. It's not as if you can be really focused, you just have to be.","I was watching a movie before I go to sleep. It was about this little kid who has a tumor in his brain and he's about to be put on a bone marrow trans","[laughs] I was going to say I wanted to go to Japan, so I could live in Japan, and that was the other day, I was like, I want to go to like a","I've been thinking about the game. I've been thinking a lot about how I could do better. I've also been thinking about how to prepare for it. I've bee","I think I'm going to try to finish reading the book. I've been putting it off because I haven't had much time to read, but I think I'll try to make it","the whole thing, the whole thing is kind of a mess, honestly, so it's kind of hard to get organized. But, I guess the, you know, the main thing I'm do","you know I'm, I'm thinking about, you know, my brother in law's, son is graduating next week and, and then he's getting ready to move to New York to, ","I can see him, and I can see his wife, and I think that it's kind of weird, because I, you know, I feel like we should have had more time to kind of","itโ€™s really funny, but itโ€™s like, you know, when people go to their first date or their first like first date thing with their first boyfriend, or the","so I'm pretty much like, I just realized I'm in like 20 years of a relationship with my husband and I just...I mean I love him so much and everything ","the most difficult thing...the most difficult part of life...is just learning how to let go...of things and people and just having faith that there's ","and then I was like, okay, I'm not gonna be able to do that, you know, but then I like, I had like a good thing happen at the end of it and then","I remember my motherโ€™s birthday, and then she passed away, and then I was like 15, and then it was like the next day, and then we were at the funeral.","and I think this is the biggest change that's ever happened. I don't think it's ever going to be the same after this. It's going to be crazy. I just k","Iโ€™m so tired. And Iโ€™m so glad that Iโ€™m here with you because I feel like Iโ€™ve got this all under control. I feel like all these issues Iโ€™ve been havin","I can see the words. It's like I'm in a different world, a place where things are a lot simpler and there are no worries. It's kind of comforting to t","the red dress and the red dress. Like, I'm trying to get comfortable with the red dress, like I don't want to be like, like, I feel like it's just lik","the water is so warm and the waves are so gentle and there's this one spot where the current is really strong, so it's like, you know, just, it's kind","I'm not really sure what I'm gonna wear to that party tonight, but I know I wanna look nice. I haven't been to one in a while, so I'm just gonna pick ","the music is so good I wanna hear it again. But I can't get it off the repeat button. It's like it's stuck there. And I'm like, 'Okay, I get","I'm thinking about what I have to do today. Like, I need to finish my homework, but I also need to study for my history test. And, I'm going to try to","[thinking of] my sister and that she has her own place and is getting a dog... I'm like, she's at like her peak or something... she's doing really wel","and so my mom has been super busy, I think she's been working hard on her projects and trying to make time for us too, and I just really appreciate he","I have this thought that I need to go back and read more about this, or at least find out more about it. It's just that, you know, I'm not quite sure ","[I was thinking about my book today and the fact that I'm just like, okay I can't have it out there for like another two weeks so I don't want it to b","I feel so tired right now. I've been working so much lately and I don't know how to prioritize everything. I need to make a list of what I need to do ","it's funny, like this was like a reminder of something I wanted to do. I want to do like a gardening session. I have a friend who has a garden, and it","I'm starting to think that I don't want to get married. I don't think it's really for me. I think I just want to be single forever. I'm just not ready","the most important thing is that you feel like you're living in your own world, like you're not being interrupted by anybody, and that you're able to ","this is me in my favorite pajamas, which I'm wearing right now. My mom made me a pair of these, they're so cute. It's the first time I've seen my favo","[S]he [the author of the book] just...was like...she just got really into it and I was like, 'Wow.' I like it a lot. And I think I","I was in a class last week that was discussing what makes you an athlete, and I thought about how it's not just the training and the skills and the ph","I was at a funeral recently...that was my first time being at a funeral and it was a bit...I felt a bit awkward at first but I was happy to be there f","okay. I'm gonna have to do a bit of editing. So, I just wanna say that it's interesting to see the thought process. I thought it was really interestin","I think the idea was that you want to create some form of... well, I'm not really sure what the idea was, but I think the... it's like the idea of the","it's funny because I think I had the same kind of thing happen to me last week. It was just like I had this conversation where I was like, 'Oh my God,","this is all like what the author was saying about, you know, it's like, well, it's a big topic, you know, like you can't really sort of...I guess this","and that's why I want to be a teacher, because I've always felt like I'm a really good teacher. I think I've got a lot of passion for it, but I'm also","I think about my wife and our family and how I want to make sure that we have a good balance between work and family. I really value spending time wit","And I'm thinking about... I have a dream. I have this dream where I'm at a wedding, where I'm the best man, and the bride is this beautiful, beautiful","so that's kind of a new one...i know some of my friends i have met since i got the job here. Like i have friends who are in the same industry who I ki","I've been watching a lot of movies lately because I feel like I'm going to be on vacation with my mom, my sister, and my dad like I haven't been on va","and you know, there's, I just, like I was saying, you know, I think we're just in this constant state of like, what's going on? You know, I just","so yeah, uh, I got a little bit of a moment of uh, reflection, uh, after that. I mean, it's interesting to see where things are going. I mean that,","I think it's gonna be good, I think, like, I think I think... I think it's going to be good, cause I think it might be... I think... it's gonna","I'm, like, a very, like, super, super, like, I don't know, I'm, I'm like, I'm just, like, pretty super. I'm a","I'm going to be sick, I'm going to throw up, I'm just so scared about how things are going to go with the COVID. I've had a bad experience with a few ","and then I'm like, 'oh, well, you know, I guess you know that like, the way I think about it is, I think the world is just gonna keep on going,","So I'm getting ready to go to the office, but I just realized I left my wallet at home and I'm like oh my god, I'm gonna get scammed. Like I'm just","yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think I think about it. I'm, I'm thinking about it. It's just, it's just. You know, I,","and yeah, like I said, we are a community and and a lot of it, you know, it's just like we just we have a bunch of people that live in the same area t","So it's like, you know, there's these like, big corporations are buying out the smaller ones, and they're not making much money because they have like","I'm like, so many people are like, this is a great moment for this is the time that I think it's like a time to, like, take the time to kind of, you","I'm starting to get a little nervous about this. I'm wondering like is this going to be like a like a random bunch of people, just like a bunch of lik","I was trying to figure out what the heck is going on. You know, the situation with the gun, what's going on in terms of how that's going to play out. ","I wonder if there's any way we could start to get like the actual... what I'm seeing is we're just a couple of years behind, I mean, I'm just seeing, ","So I was doing this project last month where I was like, all right, you know, you get the whole thing and you're like, 'Okay, I'm gonna do this thing,","I've been thinking a lot about how to make a career in this area. I want to go and take courses to improve my skill and knowledge, and I want to learn","So like... I just wanted to sort of talk about the general direction that I wanted this project to go, and then you could kind of jump into the nitty-","the question is whether I'm going to take that risk or not. But I mean I'm not just going to start putting together this sort of product because I wan","so we have an in-person event, it's a 45 minute session, 60 minute session, which is a lot of time. That's a lot of content we have to get","you know what you know what you don't know? Like you're in this moment, but you don't feel like it's that much of a breakthrough or like you're not re","I'm reading the article about how to write a book. The process of writing a book, what's the process? You know, I think the process of writing a book "],["there are some things I can't think of. Things that I know but can't. I can't remember them, they're just not coming. I don't know how. I think they'r","I want to put it on the shelf, because it's a bit heavy, and I can't carry it down. But it's on the bed, and it's got to be taken down to","the thought that I should have asked my boss to let me go back to the hospital, because I really want to be there, and I just didn't have the energy t","and when you get older, I really, really want to come back and do that. Because when I was your age, I had the same thought, and I went to all the dif","I think I have a dream that I'm a girl and I have a baby... a child... I'm going to have a child... that I have a child, a boy, a son,","And I am not so sure that I am really doing what I want to do. I really don't know what I want. I am so happy to have found you. I have never been so","you know I was saying that you have a lot of control over what you are doing, how you are feeling and I know that, and I know you can do something to ","it's just that my partner's not a very good judge of people. She likes people, but she's very good at keeping her judgement to herself and letting the","it was a long time ago...maybe when I was in college. I didn't think too much about my father...I didn't know him very well. I didn't want to. He was","what was I saying? I can't remember. I don't think I'm very good at this. I mean, I'm trying. But I don't want to be. It's very hard","I am going to be a writer. I think that is my only way of getting rid of my shame. I am not the kind of girl that I should be, and I hate myself. I","I'd like to ask you a question. It's very difficult for me to ask it. You mustn't be offended by my question. But it's very hard to speak, I don't","And then I'm very fond of him and I've been thinking for a long time that I'll take him somewhere and say to him, 'Do you want to go to church?' And t","And I wanted to take your advice. You said, 'Don't worry about the money, dear.' That's what I should do. But it's hard for me to believe you can give","I'm tired. I think I shall lie down a moment... [The participant closes her eyes, and rests for about a minute.] Yes, I am very tired, and I feel quit","and I remember how I went into the dining-room when I came out of the cloakroom, and how I took the cloth, and how the clock was struck at five, and h","there are people who have not gone out in the summer, and do not like going out in the spring. I have gone out in summer, but have not seen such a lov","I have been in love with a boy. A tall, black-haired boy. He's quite tall. We were only twelve years old. He used to sing to me. 'Oh, I wish","[I] can see you, that's all. It's the first time I've ever seen you. And if I tell you so, you can believe it, you will see it in your","I feel it's really hard to find anything I can do which won't cause somebody else harm. That's the problem with it. I think I could never get out of m","I was lying on the grass with the wind in my face, and the sun was in my face... I thought of something which I had no reason to remember, and I wante","and that was my mother. I remember that, my mother. That was my mother when she had a child. I remember it very clearly. But I don't know whether it's","and the idea came to me that in some ways, perhaps, I was the cause of it all. If I had never asked her to come home, never told her what she must do,","it was all done, of course, and I was happy to think it over and get rid of the memory, and when I thought of that moment, that was the reason I was a","and the little girl? the little girl from the black and white photograph. No, it was not a photograph. I can't remember what it looked like. She was d","I can't remember the name of the book I was reading; it had to do with a woman and her children, and a man who came to her for shelter. It's very diff","I feel as if I was lying on the bed in the room I slept in at the inn. I know I am not there. The room was small and had a tiny window, and it was","and he had this little blue dress of silk, and it was such a beautiful colour, it looked like a nightingale's throat, and I am quite certain that I wo","a bit of a joke ... a bit of an idรฉe folle. I remember my father, once, when I was little, telling me to take the book to the water. I had a","and the man that was like a snake in the grass, that I thought of. It was a snake, was it? Oh, how he was cunning! I should not have told you the name","you may be seeing something again. It may be a woman, and it may have a crown on her head; but what colour is she, I know not. The sun was shining on ","and he says: 'And he took the rest of my money and ran away, and he got it.' And I thought that he had a little girl, and when he took it he took her","a very old lady was singing the hymn: 'Aloha สปลe.' I couldn't help thinking how kind it was of her to sing it. And that she had made a","that is one reason why the angels love to speak. Because they are very beautiful; but not beautiful for themselves, but beautiful because they speak, ","I remember when I was a little girl and I was reading a book. And I was reading that one by Charles Perrault, and he says of Cinderella: 'She had two ","the two things that were in the air, the one was the snow, and the other was the white lily...the snow, snow, it is everywhere, everywhere. And in the","what you're doing is, you're thinking and thinking and thinking, and thinking, you know. You're just sitting here, thinking about a thing, and you're ","it's like...the stars are going to fall...they are going to come down like rain, and I...I'm afraid that...that the stars are going to...and then all ","and it's so much fun, but you know you can't have it, you can't keep it. That's why it's such a temptation. It's just like the love of money.","and it would be such a pleasure to think of you... but I'm afraid I'm afraid. ... and I think it's such a shame that we can't see each other. ... And ","and there are only these two colours of my dress and it's a little bit strange that my dress is such a strong colour but at the same time not a very s","it's so wonderful to have the thing to play with, and to have the object, and the form, and the colour and the way in which the thing is made, and the","this is something that has been going on in my mind for a few days now...I think of this as being the sort of thing that should have been done before,","there are many things that I've never done before... and that I've always wanted to do, but never managed to, because I've been too busy doing other t","and it was there, and she was there, in this way, and she came in a different way, and I had never seen it before. It is a very beautiful way of enter","and the body of the woman who is sleeping in the water. It is like a fish, a fish which is not yet a fish but which will become one. And the woman's b","I'm really tired and I need to sleep. I think I'll just sleep for a while, and then go on. I'll be asleep in a while, I think. It's a very","there is the big white one, the one in the middle, and it is surrounded by these little, like, white butterflies. And the butterflies are like little ","the earth is a lot like a snail's shell, with an inside of glass and a outside of glass. I saw the inside of it yesterday and the outside of it today,","I see him in his little garden, all in his own private garden, he's got a garden of his own, a whole garden. And he's sitting in the garden and he's l","... ... ... ... I could say I don't know. I could say, I don't think you've got the right idea, I don't believe you know what I mean, you are not","and the others come to me and look at me and they're not good-looking people, they're kind of like the people you see in the back of shops. And they'r","I remember when we were children, our children, you and me, we used to make a little box with the sticks we were given out for wood, we used a stick a","a man is trying to get the girl out of his mind. He has to make her leave his mind, for her to be happy. He is trying to make her go, but she will not","the great moment is when it is all over and you are alone again....you feel so free, you want to go away and hide and make yourself alone, and you fee","this is a bad thing to be like this. You've made a bad thing. And what is a good thing? I don't know. I can't see it. What is the good thing","I don't know that I should have to be a girl to have a boy. I don't think I can have a boy unless I am a girl; but then, I don't suppose I","I know now what I want to do, what I have always wanted to do. I want to be a child again. I want the world to be made of dolls, and I want to make","I will make a table, and in the centre a lamp, with the wax in a bowl, and over the bowl, a little painting of the sun, which shall be held up to the ","and I shall not do it again. I shall never do it again.... No, no. No. Oh, oh, oh, dear God, I did not know I was doing it, I","I think of the morning in the blue-leafed garden, and how I lay in the grass, and it was so warm that I felt it in my toes, and the grass was all blue","the world is a strange place, and I feel the world is very strange. It is very dark, the moon is up, but the world is dark, and very still, and I can'","... ... I was a little boy, a very, very little boy, who lived in a little village with my mother and my father, and a little boy called Jean, and a m","... it's not like it, the snow is white, like it's not snow, it's like white things, it's white and it's not it's white, it's not white.","I saw the old woman with her black eyes and her face with the little teeth, with her great red mouth. And I saw a white, white wall; and I thought, 'I","this is all like a dream, just like a dream. ... It's so sad, so sad. ... I have a little brother, and he's dying. ... He's going to die.","and I remember the way he was looking at her... then, when he got a hold of him, she would call her mother to help her up, and he would go to kiss her","the house of the house, the house of a man. ... a man with a beard. ... A man with a black beard. ... It was a man with black hair, black as ebony.","a little red, white, and blue, or red, white, green, or red and white. I have no doubt about it. They must have the little blue coat on them, and they","I see the house I am living in in my mind. It's a little cottage. I can see the back of it. It's got a thatched roof, and there is a little stream","I thought of the young man, and he said to me, 'Oh, I don't know if I will ever be able to write. I'm afraid of it, of being ashamed of it","and here it is, here it is! Here it is! It was the night of the storm, I remember the night of the storm! We had come to stay with my Auntie Dolly","And she said: 'What are you looking for?' I said: 'I am looking for something to put on the table. I am looking for a thing to put on a table, I have","and you see this face of a little boy that has a little hat on his head, with a big bonnet on his head; he has a bow tie on; you know, I saw him","And so he has a dog and it's a very handsome dog, and the name of the dog is -- but I'm forgetting the dog's name. The dog is the name of his dog,","And there's another place I like, that is near the little stream where the grass grows. It is a sort of little chapel with a cross and a tombstone of ","I had a dream about the fairies in the nursery. And they were all playing on the floor with their brooms, and I was frightened. And the fairies said t","we're all on our own... the world has changed... we're all in a kind of... a kind of war... that we're fighting... the war is inside our heads... it's","a woman in a white dress, a white woman with white flowers, and a black man with a knife. Yes. She was very white, and the flowers were all white, and","It's so beautiful, like a child's bedroom. The color is beautiful. A child's bedroom with a blue background, with all sorts of curtains, and a lot of ","I remember that at first I thought they were all nice girls, and that they all looked alike and they were all alike in their dresses. But the little o","And we'll have an hour. You can go home at seven, and we'll have another hour and then we'll go home and we'll sleep together in my bed, and we can ha","there are so many things to think about that I'm just not going to do that. There's so much to do. So I think we've had enough for tonight. Well, I wa","now I'll be more careful... the flowers, I want to see the flowers, yes. And then I'll have the roses, oh, yes, roses, and then the yellow ones, and","The night sky, there are some stars in the sky. There's no moon, but the moon is up there somewhere. It's all black. And the moon is right up there, b","Now I see a big blue sky, and then a little blue sky, I don't know why, and a big pink sky, and a little pink sky, then a little yellow sky. The","and there was a big hole in the ceiling of this room, and it was leaking so we were all sitting down and we were getting all wet, but it didn't stop t","And the more I think about it, I feel a little bit better. And then the whole thing started to look a little like a bunch of little white things in a ","I'm sorry, I don't know, I don't know. I think I'll try to eat a piece of ice and see if it feels different. I think if I have a piece of","a man with a funny face, and he's dressed up in a blue suit, and he has a hat on his head, and a string in his hair, and he had a funny face with","it's a lot of money that's coming in. Oh, and I'm going to play for you in a moment and we'll sing a song to you and it's called The Moon over the","I was playing the game. And then, there was this. And then there were these two. And then these two came and went and went and the two went and went. ","the lilies of the fields are not spinning. The lilies are not spinning, but the fields are spinning, and the lilies are in the fields, and they're all","I would like to write something now, on this little slip of paper. I can't remember what it was. But I can remember what it's for. It's for a song, an","Oh! I wonder what a toad looks like? I wonder what he would like to eat? I wonder if he would like apples? Oh no! I wonder if an owl would like to hav","and the train went 'hickety' and 'hickety,' and it had to stop in the middle of the woods, so the driver was afraid, and so he put the train away","well, well, I think I might have to go back and try something again. Maybe I won't finish it off. Maybe I will. Oh, I wish I were a little boy again.","Oh, yes. Yes, it's a happy little face! Look! There she is, a beautiful little face, and she's smiling, and I've got a little bit of ink, and","'Oh!' ... 'Oh!' I've been reading all the time ... I was thinking that it must have been a really long story. 'Oh!' it's all going to end ... 'Oh","I remember being in bed and looking up at the ceiling. The curtains were open and it was full of bright sunlight. Then I went out into the garden. The","I don't know how he did it. I don't want to think. I think I have a little bit of a cold, I think. It's all in my head. I don't","the leaves, like flowers, fell, but were not dead, for they were growing up again to be like the leaves above, only they grew up on the ground, and wh","[the participant] was watching a train moving away as she walked on the path, and then she began to sing a song, and then a man with a hat came, and t","oh no, they're not like that. No, it's just like a big sheet of paper, full of lots of beautiful colours, and they're just different coloured flowers,","then I will think of another tree and I will ask the other tree if it will grow into a tree with a big fat trunk that will hold me up like a ladder, a","a bit of grass and a flower in the middle of a dark tunnel, then there are little green, green butterflies and a big red bird comes along and they all","a white house with blue shutters and a red roof, a white house in the middle of the woods, it was all green. I think it was a green house. Then I was ","so I've got a book called 'The Old Man and the Sea', by Hemingway. And the man is called Santiago, and he's got a big fish in his boat. He's","the glass had come down on me. I couldn't stand it. I got up and I said I'll have to have my legs washed. I'd better not, for they were dirty. So","what if it was the other way 'round, and you were the one who had to go into the lake, and the baby was on shore, and you could see him? And he'd be","I think it's like that because when we was in that house, and the lights went out, there was a thunderstorm, and it rained all night, and the wind ble","the baby will come out, and then she'll put it on her back and let it go. It won't come back. You can't make it come back. It won't. I'm","I see it all coming over me, like a big red, white, and blue wave, like I saw on the beach, coming in from the sea... It's a great big wave, and","And what if it wasn't my hair, but my eyes? They could be as red as the apple, or as blue as the sky, or as green as the grass. And they could be","And I remember when we had the baby. And he was going to sleep and he had a light on over him, and I remember his eyes looked like blue glass. And he ","... ... ... and I see it, it's got to be a duck ... ... ... ... I see it ... ... ... there it is ... ... ... it's got feathers ... ... ... its got","a little black woman and a little white woman, they're trying to put out a fire. They have a broomstick, a broom, and a bucket of water. They're putti","well, you know, that's what we have to do, that's our job, but, that's the only way they can do it. I don't like to think of them hurting.","And the poor little mouse, the little mouse, they're all little mice, are they, they're little mice, they're black mice, they run in a little hole, li","and then they had the big white one. Then the other one was blue and the one with the stars was gold. I'll tell you what I see when I'm dreaming. I se","And you don't know what to do. It's so big! You think you'd better have a new dress on you for the party, but you don't want to have it on the floor","I have a picture in my head. It's a picture of a man, he has got a lot of long hair and he's got a beard and he's black. He's sitting on a","I'm sitting on the beach. There's a little boy... a little boy with red hair and blue eyes. He has a yellow bow tie, and a red shirt, and he's just si","I am the old man... I am the old lady... I am that young man. I am the black man with the little hat. I am that girl who went to see the dolls. I","The king. He's a good man, he'll do for a king, but not for a friend. I'd have liked to have him. I'd like to have him here. I've","I got in the car and we took off, and we took a wrong turn, and we stopped the car, and went through the woods, and came to a house, and it had a gard","this was a man, he had been a farmer, he had a wife and five children and he had a dog, I was going to tell you about a dog that he had, I don't","and the young girl was dressed in a white dress, with a red ribbon in her hair, and a white apron, and she had two white bows in her apron, two white ","we have been over the field, but the ground's very soft, it's almost as soft as mud. Well, they must have been very careful, they mustn't have left an","the same old song again. I've never heard it, never heard it. Why, there's only three words in it. What is it? Oh, I don't know. What is the","and I felt her hand on my shoulder and she said, 'Well, my love,' and I said, 'Oh, darling, what are you going to do?' and she said--I don","I suppose if I wasn't so far away, I'd take you by the hand, and I'd say, 'I am your sister, you silly little thing, but I can't take you","I think, I'm a great girl, I've got a great brain, I've been a good girl. I've never done a bad thing in my life. I'm always kind to everyone","you see I can't ever get up. I've got to go to bed at twelve. That's the only way I can get up in the morning. And then we're going to get up","I remember that old day that I went and saw the girl. And we took our hats off and we went into the ballroom, and we had our little dance. I don't rem","I have just had a letter from my mother. I shall have to see if I can get it post-carded to-morrow morning, so that I may post it when I go in for the","The last time I was in a hotel I had to take the lift. They weren't nice. I like going up and down and up, in the lift. And you've got to ask the","I thought it might be the other one, with the blue dress, or the white one with the blue sleeves. I can't remember who the other one is. I know, I kno","it was just like the first one I think... you know the first one... she was just the same. And she looked at me... she looked at me like I was her mot","the room is getting hot and I wish I could have a glass of iced water, and my face is getting red. I wish I had something to cool my face with... I do","I am sitting in my little room. There is a chair opposite to me. A big chair. A chair of brown wood. A little carpet on the floor. There is also a lit","and the second one I wanted to do was to go down to the bottom of the river and then back up again and then get the water, but I was thinking of the l","I suppose that's the trouble. I suppose that is the trouble, isn't it?... I was going to ask you for some more of those biscuits, because I had had a ","well, that was funny. And I wonder, when we went to the concert, why you didn't want to have me at all. I used to think that we would always have tea ","it's not so good; it's not so bad, but it's not good. It's like a sort of big fat thing that's in the middle of the road and you can't get","I was going to be in New York. I was going down there to be with you, I was going on a train. I'm going to be on a train, and I'm going to","you know, there's a lady I know in the neighbourhood, and she has got a little girl, who's five, and she's very nice, and I don't think they've seen m","we're going to have to go and see Mr. White, Miss, isn't we? I'll send for the doctor, and he'll come here. 'Tisn't such a bad","I think that's very kind of you to offer me this job...I should tell him how to do that, though...I could never be his mistress...and I should never h","well I was at home then, and I said, 'I've got to see that girl I met the other day.' 'Yes,' he said, 'you're going to do something,' '","and I've seen that, but I can't see, I can't imagine a man in this state, walking and talking and, and, and all, and, uh, well, that's","I'd like to be a rich man. I don't know what the hell it takes. I've been on the road so long and I've seen some of the great ones get it. Some","and so now I'm in the hospital again, and I'm going to get another operation on my hip. I don't think I ought to, and I'd like to leave, but I can","and I was sitting there thinking, this is the best I could do. I can't see anything more to do about it. I was thinking I could write a letter to the ","And what do you think? If I am wrong about this, we shall not get any of the money. We shall all go home. If I am right, I think we may get quite a","and the American people don't believe it. I think it's going to be an interesting situation. We have the American people sitting there with their arms","we don't have a policy, and we don't make any decisions about these things. We don't have any policy. Now we have no control over the matter and you c","I'm not saying it's a right wing, pro-capitalist, anti-government, pro-business party, but that's what they are and they're going to do what they want","It is really funny that we are still talking about this here. We're in the year 2000 and I'm talking about what we're going to do to our environment a","I was trying to come up with a definition of an evil act, but I'm having a hard time. I know a few things. I know if you do something that doesn't get","there was a revolution in the air and the leaders of that revolution were the people who wanted to have more freedom in the air, to fly their own airp","I had a dream that I was a little girl and that I was running away from my mother. My mother was chasing me and she had a gun and I was trying to esca","I'm doing this because I've been in a situation where I've had to help a friend who was being beaten, and the police were all over it. We were able to","And that's another thing. When a person comes in with a big, hard-on, they're not going to be going to a meeting to help me, they're going to be tryin","they're out of my country and they can do as they please. They can do as much damage as they want to. I don't care. They're out of the United States a","The new economic situation, I've got it. Now, you're a Soviet man. You can't be an independent man in a Soviet state. There's only two ways that you c","I can't understand how you can put your head on your shoulders in the first place. How do you get into a situation in which you can do that? You must ","and the thing is, it's a damn shame. What's the hell they do? They don't do anything. They get them to look the other way, or they send the other peop","the 14th amendment to the constitution of the United States, and I would think, if there had been a draft of it, that you would have had to amend the ","what I do not see here is any kind of organization. What I see here is a vast wasteland of waste material. What I do not have any objection to is a gr","and now I'm looking at the next question and I'm wondering how the hell this man knows that the Soviets would not use that particular kind of atomic b","I have seen the city, and I have been told that the city is a place of refuge. It is, of course, a place of exile. It is the place to which they can s","Now I'm just in the process of thinking about the fact that we don't know how many Jews are in the world and how many are in the United States and how","I have this strange notion that a few years back I was involved in a dispute with the French, that I had some dealings with them. I remember this very","a lot of people don't have a good enough grasp of the situation. This is going on all over the world. We don't even know what's going on in this count","you know, this is the most important thing, and that's why we can't continue the way we're going. They don't want us to go the way that we want to go.","I was in the city, and I was having a pretty good time in the city. There was an event called the RACE conference. I didn't get any money for it, but ","well, so the guy [the murderer], he's not a guy anymore, he's an animal now. And he's been taken off to some unknown location where they're going to m","And I just came back from a meeting in New York yesterday afternoon. They were just saying, you know, the Russians are really on their way to defeat, ","but in the end, the system's going to be an accident. I don't know what the hell's going to happen. And I don't see any reason to hope that it's going","We could take this ship, and it's all going to fall apart, and the only people in the world who will be able to use this ship and get it to the Americ","I wonder whether it's the same in the United States. You know, they are just as much involved in this. They don't need us any longer to get their stuf","I'm just wondering about that, you know. Well, I don't know that there is a question, you know? There is no question. There is a statement, you know, ","I don't know why I do this. It's just the nature of the problem. And it's a problem of the nation's economy, not of the nation. Now, this is a problem","I want to be sure of you. I want to be able to trust you, because it's a big country. There are people here who would like to make trouble, and there ","and the first time they came to power, we had a military junta. I'm sorry, I know there's been a lot of discussion about the military junta, but I don","I'm thinking, yes. But, what are they saying, I wonder? I mean, they can't know. They don't know anything. They have no clue what I'm doing. They","and I've read a lot of what we've been calling, I mean, by the media as, you know, a form of treason, you know? I'm going to go on the record","and what's the thing here, you know, it's interesting, right? It's interesting, you know what, you've got these two things, one is the, you know, the ","So in 1960, what happened was the first time the United States government had ever intervened on behalf of a group of people whose lives were in jeopa","what we're saying in our society is that if you are a black person, if you are an African-American, you are either a traitor or you're a thug. If you ","I don't think there's any problem. I don't want to have the problem with the CIA. I don't know why they're after me. It seems to me that they're after","this is just a random sample, but it is a sample that I want to say that the media is going to pick up and run with. If you're not going to say that i","the first one was that he was going to go to a place in New York City, the City of New York. And the place was called the Federal Reserve Board, and h","[C]onclusions are based on the following. [S]uppose that in the future there is a war on terrorism. Now, how do you suppose that you and your constitu","I think that the whole thing about the thing is that it's a very complicated matter to analyze, and it's not necessarily a thing to go up to the legis","I think it's really true, though, that we can't do a great deal about the foreign policy of this country if we're not going to have a strong defense. ","so, um, but there is some sort of conflict between the fact that I am not really a socialist or even a social democrat, um, that is to say, that I don","I'm going to have to work the first time. I mean, it's got to be done. It's got to get done, because it's the only way to stop this thing from going","you know the first time you came to my office, you know, and you wanted to come in here, and I said, you know what, I don't have to make a commitment ","but, you know, I'm always afraid I'm going to be put in the position of having to say to them, you know - I've got to call the governor and say, 'We","and we want to have the best possible data, you know? So we need to make sure we're not just getting the average results. We need to make sure that we","and then you might need a new one. And so you could be saying, oh, no, it's not the new one, you've got to have a new one, and then you got","I've done my share of thinking about it, but you know what? I'm really surprised you didn't have any thoughts about it. You know what I mean, the whol","a woman from the F.A. A. says to me: 'you know we've got to get the troops out, or it's going to be too expensive. We can't do it anymore","the idea that, as the government came along, it would make the kind of change that would actually get us back into a reasonable situation. What you di","So, how do we know what's going on? What's the best thing we can do? Is it possible to have some sort of an alliance between the two powers to do what","Now, we can't stop doing this. And we've got to go back to the drawing board. We've got to get all the information that we have about the political en","And the one thing that really bothers me in the way I see the situation, and this is something I've said publicly before, but I don't want to have thi","we're not going to talk about the 9000 years, we're going to talk now about the 5000 year period, the last 500 years. We","a lot of things have been going on in the world. We've got a very important president in the White House. We've got very important things in our count","I know what you are saying, but let me tell you I am a liberal. I don't know, I don't even know how many years I have been a liberal, but I know I","we had an old woman that was a very bad communist, a bad woman in the army, and we had her killed and her body was found on the side of the road and s","what I say is that the man is a killer, he has committed a series of crimes which I believe is a political act, and if I may say so, the world is too ","I was talking to one of my colleagues who is a really good scientist, an engineer in the area of computer science and I said to him, 'You know, if you","well, I think the problem is that the administration has got to have a little bit more authority in the classroom, and I think that's what the problem","[t]here is no reason to be frightened, for what is the point of that? That's just what you think is. It's a great, great thing to be here, to have","I'd like to see a big, strong, Christian man with a gun and a hat on and a whip, and a whip with a rope and a chain on the back of his hand, and","We have the advantage of being in a situation where the police are not in charge of the situation; they are not in command. In fact, we are in a posit","I'm worried about that. I don't want to give any ammunition to the pro-communists. That's the way I think we should go. I'm not a big fan of the commu","I've never been happy in America, because I was born in America and I've been forced to live in this country because it was the best place in the worl","all I could think about was the whole thing of the atomic bomb being dropped, and we'd been fighting a war for four years and they dropped the bomb an","we're going to have a long, long time, and I'll be going back. I'll be back and I'll stay in the country. I'll go to my parents' home, and","I've been thinking, you know, about the whole thing, about what happened at the time. I mean, this is, I mean, I haven't really been able to get into,","the thing I think about a lot, is the state of our society, and the fact that the U.S.A. is losing its status as a world power, that we've gone from t","I don't want to do anything but I'm forced to, I can't do anything but do this. They've made me. I don't have a country. I don't like the people","but the problem is that there are so many things you have to think about, and then you've got the other thing which is that you don't have time to thi","there's a lot of problems in this country. There's a lot that we have to deal with. We've got to make sure that people have a fair shake, that they're","The whole world's being taken over by the Communists, and the whole world's going to be one country. They're already doing it. There's a Communist tak","I think we're going to go on with the whole world on the brink of war. There's a war, you know, of course. It's going on in the middle of the world,","The thing you've got to understand is that you can't just go to another country and shoot a thousand people and go back home. That's not going to stop","we're just going to see what we can do. The world's going to come to an end, but the world is still going to come, but I don't know how it's going to","in the second part of this film [the Vietnam War film Apocalypse Now] I think that that part will be particularly important because he's got to go dow","[i]n my imagination I was taking a walk along the beach with my wife and we were just talking about a lot of things, about politics, about the United ","I want to do it in my own way, and I do it, and I see that he is just a simple man. He does not want to fight. He wants to go into the South","And you've got the people to support it. Well, there's only one way to find out. If there isn't anyone who can do anything, we don't do anything, do w","I had the sense, as you might say, of being in my mind, of being inside myself. I had the sense of a great inner force, which I did not know what to d","well, that was all very fine and dandy for all the good old boys back there in the old country, but we had a pretty hard time of it here in America. N","The one that is with us here now, is the one who was here on the day of Christ's death, and he had the most important of all the apostles, Judas Iscar","I was telling you this morning that I had not been in contact with the people at the Soviet Embassy, because I had no message. Now, however, I have a ","we go on in the direction of the East, which is the way of life, the way of peace, the way to God. And we're going to make it known, we're going to","[S]ome of you might think that you're a Jew, [i]n that you have been redeemed, [ii]n that he has delivered you from captivity in Babylon, from a","the thought of the future. The thought of the past. The thought about the world. I thought about my family. About all the people. I thought of all tho","I will not be able to give him back because there is no power on earth that can give back the dead. The dead must remain in their place in their own g","There are some men who are like the devil himself in his anger, but it is the anger of God's grace and the anger of His holiness that the devil has to","this is something I think I should be able to do with you, because I have a personal interest in this subject. It's a real thing; it's a real problem.","the poor little girl, you're a little angel, my darling. But I'll have to be cruel to you now. You're a little girl, but you're also an Englishman. Yo","but I remember when I was young, when I was a child, I was a very good, I was very good at everything. I was a good worker and so on, and then, and","and I am just glad that the Russians have been so very, very successful and they have not had to send over any more reinforcements, because in the cou","a big problem in the world right now, and they're trying to get out of it by a coup d'etat, which is the usual way they get out of a problem. It's a","I feel very much in tune with the country because, as I see it, the only way we're going to stop the influx of people into the country is if we get ri","[O]nce we got here, I had a very difficult time with it. I was trying to be a very good man, and I was very busy with the army, trying to work","we've got a problem that's been with us, for the last six months. We've got a problem now. And that is that the North Koreans, the Koreans, who were o","we can't have an election now and elect some people and have them be responsible for our country...we've been going down. We were 75% in 1960; we","and if I wanted to go and get involved in a country, and say, 'We're going to get involved in Iraq,' well, I think that would be a mistake, because th","the people in this room are going to vote for me to be a governor of this country... I can't believe it, you are going to send me to be the governor o","and then he goes, he goes down there, he's got the rifle, he shoots this, you know, he shoots a whole lot of people. He kills him with a rifle. He's","now, as far as the Jews are concerned, now it's up to us to get them out of here...just like the Germans. I mean, this is the final solution of the Je","this is not a thing I have ever done before. I can't even be in the military. I can't do any of that stuff. And it's all I can think about. And I","and you'll see it's not gonna work out the way it's supposed to. See, the way it's gonna work out is they'll take all the people that they want out an","that the majority of the American people are stupid, they don't care about their country, that they don't want to fight for their country, they don't ","and in fact, I don't believe that we will ever be able to control that thing, either, and the only reason I have to say it is that I would have to, I ","what are you going to do about that, then? Well, I mean, I'm going to do everything I can about that. And that means going in, as you say, a lot of","the thing is, is that people that are in their fifties and their sixties have to make decisions like, you know, whether or not they want to spend thei","I got a big, big, big thing from that war, a big, fat, juicy, fat, big thing. It is a big thing that I got. I am a citizen of the","And he's so proud of what he's done, he's such a swell guy, and I hope that he does come home and that he gets some justice. But then, I wonder, who","we had a conversation at the White House the other day, and we talked about the new thing of putting all the students together. And I don't believe it","the CIA is responsible for the Bay of Pigs, which was the most embarrassing thing that happened to us during the Eisenhower administration, and we sho","it's a really long, long, long way from here to Washington D.C. There's not a hell of a lot of good in that, but we're not going to leave the place un","you know I have a feeling that I am going to have a big fight with the Federal Government, but I don't know exactly what form it's going to take. I do","it's like, in a sense, we're going to have to create our own jobs and it's going to be a matter of how far we can go. The one thing I think the govern","And the first thing that's happening, we're going to go up, you know, because the United States is going to have a budget deficit for the next five ye","it's very simple, and that's the way we do it. And the first thing we're going to do is we're going to set up a set of priorities. And one of the thin","I'm sure I have to do something with the way I'm using my time. You know, I've been reading a book called 'The Future of Management,' which I think is","what we don't want is to see a different kind of person in our city. A lot of people in our country have the view that we should not have people with ","I have a problem. I have a problem with the current American system of education. We're all getting our degrees in this country, in America. We're goi","The most important thing is that people don't have any kind of plan, any kind of goal. What would be a good plan for this kind of society, which has a","the notion of a revolution, of a change in the structure of our society, our system. I think that there must be a change, but I'm not sure how it shou","if you look at the whole, it's got a great deal to do with what is called the 'Nazi-Socialist' problem of the last 20 or 30 years.","but, but it's not clear to me that I ought to believe the Democratic Party will do the best for me in this particular situation, either as a black man","It's just the fact that you are looking at a situation and then you have to make a decision in terms of what you are going to do. I mean, this is, thi","and I was thinking that the more things get privatized the more they get privatized and the more that the public is taken away, and I don't think that","you know what's interesting, is the fact that, for a long time, we've had the American people, the American military, the American politicians, and so","what is the source of our political conflict. That's not the question. It's a question that was already asked. The question that was asked was, what a","And they said: 'We want a man to do what we want, who will go out and say: 'If you want to stop your enemies, then come and fight them.' You have to","And now, for the second time in my life, I've been able to stand up for my rights and defend myself with the utmost courage in a courtroom. And this t","I was at the train station today and saw a young woman who was obviously in labor, and she was sitting on the platform, waiting for a train, and the t","It's a kind of an expression, isn't it, when you get the kind of expression, you don't want to give any more, you get the feeling, and that's it, and","I think the world's going to go down the toilet. I've been thinking a lot about it lately. I think the world is going to go to pieces. I think that pe","the big problem in the world today is that the U.S. is going to be defeated and the Soviet Union is going to win. The reason the U.S. will be defeated","well, I would like to get involved in something like this and be part of it, and I have my own opinions about it. I am a part of this country that has","and what the other day, what happened, was we had some of these problems with the American people and you know we had a little bit of an issue over th","I want to say that in the past I didn't feel that way. I didn't really feel that way and I think that the reason for that, and maybe it was true, is b","it's all about, you know, the political situation that exists, that the situation that exists in the world is all about this, is all about the United ","you're not going to win the war, you're not going to have a government, you're going to be slaves. That's what it's all about. It's just a show. And","I'm sitting here, and I'm trying to make up my mind about the war, and I don't want to make a decision, I'm just trying to understand the whole thing,","and in fact the reason I had to go and spend three days with the Russians was because I had to prove that the Russians were willing to back me up. And","I have just heard the word 'Berlin.' And the thing is, the thing that has been happening to us in the last couple of days in the United States is that","and then this idea of the Middle East, well, it's a very interesting, interesting idea, because they are coming to terms with the fact that this is an","in the end the enemy won. And the Jews were in the same situation as they were. The only difference was that the Jews, it seems to me, are more, in th","we must not have any such thing as a world government. If you do, you must have a world government, which is not only a world government of the indust","The whole country is in chaos now, in turmoil, and in fact the revolution that has taken place in America is a revolution of the proletariat and of th","and what do you think of that? That's exactly what I am saying. And you can't have that! But it doesn't mean that you are right! Because I am a Christ","I see the sun, I see the earth, I see our moon and I see the sun going up every morning. I see our government is going down and it is a disgrace. And ","and if they're going to be honest with us, we should be honest with them. It's a two-way street. We should be honest, not just to them, but to ourselv","I don't know. I don't really think that there are any problems. I think that we've got a lot of problems, but I think that if we just don't put the ri","and the United States has its own special problems, it has its own problems in the way of the war against terrorism, the war against drugs, the war in","I am not, I am not. I don't know how to deal with people, I don't think I can, but they have no right. I cannot make it, it is a mistake","the economy, the economy. You don't know anything about it, I don't know about it. I don't feel that I'm part of it, I feel that I was part of it","the other side of the street has just been opened and there are some new developments and some people are making some very radical changes and they wa","[W]e are here to make sure that the U.S. is still a nation of immigrants, and that the rest of the world recognizes that. And we want to show that we'","And we are just trying to be the best we can and not be a country that is going to be the world's garbage dump, the world's, well, we're the world's m","I am a victim of a disease, so-called AIDS. And there is an entire political campaign in the United States. They are saying that this is a disease of ","I don't know what's going to happen, but I think it will be a terrible disaster. I'm not just saying that as a liberal, I'm saying that because I have","I remember when the 1960s started, when the movement started and it was very violent and the violence was expressed in the most violent form, in a dir","there was a fire in Moscow in 1994, and the American Ambassador, who was a member of the government at the time, a very dangerous person who wanted to","the world is a dangerous place to live in, but it's no more dangerous than any other. There's not a lot of people to worry about. The problem is that ","and of course, this is the very core of what I'm saying, that, of course, the international community and the United States of America has to come out","there were a lot of people who said that we should go and change the laws that we had. So that's what we did. We changed the law that we had, in 196","I mean, it's all that you need to say. You've got to stop all this, that's it. All those things, that's what's wrong. That's what's going to","you know I don't have any kids because I was too young when I started teaching, and when I started I didn't even have my degree yet and I was just a v","I'm actually not really too worried about the fact that the government has turned out to be an abomination. You know, you see the situation is that th","the problems with the whole economy and how you get out of it, is that they have got their money tied up in real estate, and the government's going to","I see this, the whole world is the problem. Now the way we got into this mess in the first place is, you know, the big free trade zone was designed to","I'm not sure there is going to be any more of an impact on the other side of the Atlantic. ... And so we're in a position where we're basically on the","the word 'he' was not very helpful. Because you can't tell from it, you know, was this a man of the church or was he just an American that happened to","there's a new kind of freedom here. I think you're gonna like this. I think the government's gonna like this, too. You're gonna find it's a great tool","And then that's, you know, that's just a nice thing. You know, we're not going to be going there. The two of them, the two of them would have had a","so it's like they're still in Iraq, right, and the Iraqi army has taken control of a lot of territory, and the Iraqis are the ones who are going to ha","I'm just wondering, you know, if, if, the, the, um, the, you know the, the fact that I've had this, you know these two years of, you","and you're the one that's going to give me my head if I don't do my job right. That's what you're going to do to me, because I'm not doing what I","yeah, but I'm trying to tell you the truth, man, I was just saying, I mean, I think I'm getting a little bit of a feeling, that's why, you know","and this is a very interesting thing about the United States, this is interesting to me, and I'll tell you why. This is interesting to my generation b","we're in a political vacuum and, I mean, what happens is we get, you know, we have no direction on a number of these issues, but then there's a vacuum","they've got to be right. That's the only thing, you know, that I think. That's why I've gone to so many doctors and all this. That's what I'm looking","and I had to make a decision, to say, 'This is a decision for me, and this is a decision I can't change.' ... And I'm very much concerned that it's no","and that's why, you know, it's a lot of money, it's a very large investment. It's not a lot of fun to do. It's a lot harder than a lot","there was one in our midst who was very much against the war, who was a Republican. I've got to go back and look at him, I got to see if I can locate ","I don't even think there's anything wrong with that, but you just get a lot of things that aren't, that are not good for the people that you are talki","And I think the reason that there's such a tremendous amount of attention being paid to the idea of a political party is because there's a perception ","so you know the military's been very aggressive in trying to get us to say that we need to go to the United Nations or we need to find the internation","a very simple problem, as in the old days, where people could see that the government could not afford the whole program, and so they cut the program,","and there's the other problem, which is the way in which the international community has come to view the war on terrorism, and the way in which we ar","the system of the state and the system of national security... well, the system of security, and that's what's been done so far in the Soviet Union, s","the reason why we should do that is the reason that I think we should do it is because the military, they would have no problem with this because what","and I've heard of the 'hamburger model' of the human being, which is, you know, we all have three levels of consciousness. The top level is the level ","well, the problem with the Bush administration is that they have got to have an all-or-nothing strategy and that is why they have been so unsuccessful","I think there is a very big problem in America today. I'm going to say that the problem is that America, even though we have the most advanced technol","I'll take that, I'll take that. I'll take it as it is. And I'll be very careful. I'll be more careful than the Germans have been, and I'll take","I have the impression that the 'sociological' school of thought and the 'psychological' school...is not so much a division between social groups or so","it's a good thing that we have these laws, you know, which give us the right to have this, which give you the right to express yourself and to have th","I know what you are thinking, we are not going to talk about the fact that he was in the United States for five years without having to be here, witho","and that's the kind of thing that has been going on. I mean, you have to look at it in the context of the kind of things that were going on in the wor","that's what I was talking about before, how the Russians have to be careful about not doing anything which is going to be seen as too pro-Soviet. And ","[T]he world has become so dangerous. The United States, the whole world, is in a war. I've been a witness to many wars. I was in the Second World War,","the economy is the most important thing. It's really the most important and it's really very, very, very easy to see that. The economy is what's behin","The fact of the matter is, the whole idea of the Internet is, is to create an intellectual forum for the free exchange of ideas, and it's being used f","so the [CIA] is looking for people who are not going to make a fuss when they are not happy with the way it's going, or the way the game is going. I m","and, you know, and that's the thing with the money thing is that it's, you know that's the other thing. It's not like, you know this is an issue in th","and I want to be able to see if I can actually have a policy that can do that, because, you know, I want to have some of these people who are -- I thi","I'm not sure if I would vote for any of the candidates that are up for reelection, I think that it's going to be a stalemate. You know, that the one s","the other part, I think, is the issue of the real estate situation. It's really, uh, it's really bad for us. We have a lot of debt. We have to raise","the whole purpose of a country is to take care of its citizens, and that includes those citizens who have a different perspective from the traditional","I think we can see a real revolution taking place in the US economy now. I think the real revolution in the US economy is coming from China. China has","and it's an example of the way that it can happen, it can happen if the population is growing very rapidly. We know that if there are large numbers of","if you know something you know something... [pause] about... about what you know and what you know, if you know something, if you're just kind of a bi","the whole idea that we can be 'human' or 'humanitarian' without recognizing and responding to the realities of this world, the realities of the world ","it's like we have this plan to become a democratic state, to be a part of the world of free nations, but this democratic plan is not compatible with a","it is true that you've got to be a certain kind of person to do this [work], and that is, you know, you've got a strong will. And you've got, I","And so we have the American people that have been put into a position where they are just in a position of being conquered. And there is no alternativ","and the other is to make sure that our children have been trained to a higher degree, a higher level, so that they are going to have to look at this a","I have a very close friend who has a daughter who is now about eight and is going into high school, and this year I saw her with her daughter and the ","I think that we might have a problem with that. I don't think that we're going to be able to go anywhere near the speed that we would need in order to","I mean, that's really a lot of responsibility. And, I've had it before. It was before I became the manager, and so I think that's one thing that is al","it seems like the last couple of years have been a struggle. And it's been difficult and you're not making any money and there are a lot of things tha","I know it's in the books and the Constitution, you know, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't make any sense to me and I can't come up with ","but I think we need to make the case that this is a problem, that it is a problem for the American people, and I think it is a problem that the Republ","and then, there was that, you know, in a very limited way, the French, in a way, there were certain things that the French, you know they had to do, t","so that's a good point. Now I'm a little bit afraid to make the argument that it's a right to health care because it's not really a right. I mean, the","I can't help but notice that the idea that the United States and the United Kingdom have a different attitude than the rest of the world regarding the","and I remember I was once in a very dark and dingy room with a number of people who were there with me and I was being asked what I thought and what I","and, of course, what they want to do is to see if they can make a deal, I don't know, some kind of a deal with Russia, but we don't want to see","and then I know that they will have to move to someplace that has an Internet connection because we can't have the government in control of the Intern","And this is one of the things that I have to think about in terms of, in terms of the future of my own country. How do we deal with the situation of a","the way that our political system and our economic system is set up. I think it's pretty clear that it's not a free enterprise economy. The people who","well, this is not the first time that I've come to this conclusion. I think it's been there for a long time. I mean I'm a fairly liberal, liberal, per","the whole reason for my going to college was that I thought I would be able to get into a better paying job. And I am a firm believer in the fact that","We see what we see, we have the experiences of seeing what we see. It's not like we're looking at a set of images that someone else has designed. It's","we have to be very careful here, you know, when you're making a law in this country, because in this country we have the freedom to express ourselves,","a few weeks ago, a friend of mine went through a couple of events that caused them to become very paranoid. And, I would say, the events were, basical","we can't do anything about that. Well, let me say this. The question, I think, is, 'What are we trying to do? What are we trying to achieve? What are","it's funny how people's brains work and how people's consciousness works because when you're in a meeting like this you think of all the people in the","there are some people in the world that are very different from me, in terms of their faith, and they're very good, they're very decent, they're not i","I don't see myself as a business leader but a social leader, a community leader, and a leader in the area of social services. I want to do more to pro","I just thought of that, and I'm going to tell you how this is going to work. I have a friend who's a teacher, and she's teaching a course about the et","the military, the military has always been interested in the nuclear option. You know that's what's been driving it for a long time. You know the mili","so, that's a good start, right? I think we all agree that we've got to go there. I think we've got to, we're going to do what we've done before","So I think it's very interesting, right, that you have an experience of having to get a business license in a small city, right? And you can't even ge","my idea of a good night's sleep was a good night. We would go to bed, and then, there is the difference between my idea and the reality. I don't have ","the whole thing has been going on for months and months. It's really important that you be able to put a handle on this. I know what you're going to s"],["And they say, 'What are the people like here in this country?' And then I think, 'Well, you know, it's not that easy to find out.' I don't know about","I'd like to get married, get a house, a job. I'll be married, have kids, and it'll be like a home and it's going to be a family and I'm","The other day, when I was in a state of mind where I didn't really like anybody, I thought about my wife, and I thought, 'Gosh, if I were her I'd","I don't know. I'm a little bit frightened, though, about my husband. He's just so much better at this, and he's got that much experience. He's so much","there's nothing to talk about in this room. What should we do? I could make some tea, or have a hot drink, maybe. I have some tea in the cupboard, a b","a woman with a lot of money. I think she's married. I wonder who she is? I've never seen her before. I don't think it's a nice woman. She's mean","what is that you were doing there? You were painting the stairs. You were going to paint the stairs in the hallway. And then I'd be there... I'd be pa","I'm in a hurry to get on the bus. The bus is waiting for me at the corner. It's already half past six. It's raining heavily. I should hurry up! ...Wha","And I'm going to tell them to sit down, I'm going to say 'Good evening, I'm the man who wants you to tell me if you've seen my lost dog. My dog","that was the problem, they don't have a proper place to live. They don't have anywhere to live and they don't know where they are going to live. And t","it's a shame that it's not a real movie. They don't have the actors here. ... It's a shame. They don't do that here. They don't call it a real","and the whole time I was working, I was thinking about all the things that we need to do and stuff. And we need to get to the bank and get some money ","I had a bad dream last night. It was really, really bad. I had a dream about a school. It was a big school. It had a lot of students. The students wer","I have a lot of problems. I've been out of work since last May 3. I've had a lot of headaches, and my son had a bad cold, and he was sick a","you're not doing too bad, you're doing pretty well. You're doing good. You've been doing very good, doing well, doing pretty good. You're getting pret","I'm trying to think of my mother and father. I've got to think of some sort of a gift, and I know how I'll get the money, but I don't know what to","the two of them would just come in and talk to you. You'd be in the kitchen, and they'd walk in with a bunch of stuff. It wouldn't be too long before ","the man with the dark hair had been in this office for about two years, he got a good salary, I'd see him on my way home, and he's pretty handsome, ma","I have a letter from my niece, she says that she's just had a baby. I hope it's a boy, and that he will be a good boy. The baby's father was my","I see you, Mr. Jones, I see you. Yes. What's your name? ... I can't remember. I can't... I can't. I can. I can... ...","and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my mind. I'll be in such a mess. I'll have a terrible time. Oh, no, I'm not going to have any tea at","I think there are a lot of things I can't tell you about. Things that I know I mustn't tell you. There are some things I wish you didn't know about, b","And then, suddenly, she's back again. ...She's sitting there, and I'm in this room, and I can't see her. I'm not even in the room, I'm","I am on my way to the train station, my train is at 6.20, but there are 10 minutes to wait, so I have time to read a bit. My","the plane is in the air now ... No, I am going to the station ... I shall be going to Paris ... the next morning ... I mustn't forget to write to Mr. ","the train's coming. It's a few minutes late. I haven't been to London all week, and I'm looking forward to it. It's the first time I've been for more ","we don't have to go now, but there will be a bus for the students in an hour. That's the time the school bell rings. We'll have to hurry then, we'll m","The little girl ... she is here ... in the living-room ... She has ... gone away ... The children ... They are playing ... The bell ... The children c","that's a nice name. What else is here? Well, it's just a bunch of little boys, a few men and some women. It's a nice garden, nice flowers. I see","we went out, and then we had a nice lunch, and then I went into the kitchen and made some tea. And then we sat down at the table and had our tea. Then","and if you've got a few minutes, I'll give you a piece of information, because I've got a piece of news for you. Oh, what was it? I don't know.","and it's been a lovely summer for a young person and there's a bit of a difference between what you'd see if you came over on a yacht and if you came ","and we came out of the bus, and I had to get the other one and bring it, and you know, they gave us money, so I got the money and gave it to him,","a bad girl. I want to get on a plane, and go to London, and buy some clothes, and go shopping, and go see a movie, and go on the beach, and go","I'm going to the supermarket and then I'm going to have a drink with Jane. And then I'm coming back home. And then, I'm going out to dinner with Jane.","I think I'll just sit here. ... What is the capital of Kansas? I've always wondered about that. I think it's Topeka. It's the capital of Kansas. It's","I've got to find a place to put this, I don't want to forget. Oh, I found one. Oh, oh, oh, what am I doing now? I've got the","I think it's the way you sit with me. If you sit right next to me, I think I might fall asleep. It's been a long day at the office. I've been working","well, you know, I could have gone to a movie, but I'm not going to. I could have stayed here and watched TV, but I didn't. I could have gone shopping,","I have two sons, now, and I'm glad I don't have to worry about them anymore. They're in high school now, and they're going to college. I don't know wh","I was in school when it happened, and we got a bunch of our teachers' pictures for Christmas and that's what we did. My mom and dad, and all of our br","and then there was this picture in the book about the, uh, the two girls and the little boy and the two boys. So then we had a little family, and, uh,","a little boy named Danny, I have to go to the movies. He was in first grade and then second grade and third grade and he was going to the movies with ","that's really scary, I mean, they're like, you know, they're going to put you in a cage, and you're like, oh, you're going to take all my,","this is a...this is a little story. There is this...there is this old man with a beard...and he was like, well, he was old and he was wearing a beaded","and it's like 30 years. I can't believe it's already 30... I've been married 30 years today. My husband's 40th birthday is in","and, I don't know why, but, it's like, I think of a song. I think of this song, it's called 'Love is the Key' and it's by The","so...it's like...we're talking about...like...the other...other...like...oh...the other time we did that...that...like...what was that...oh...oh","I remember I was at this thing and I went in the kitchen and I was like, okay, so I'm going to get out of here because I'm just going to be a bit...I","so the teacher didn't put anything on the board but he had to because there's only like four of us in the class so he probably just did a review or so","the last time I had a sleepover was when I was like five or something and I was like I was like my friend's house and and we just sat out in the livin","So I went to a bar and then I went to another bar with my friend and then I got in a fight, and then I was talking to her about her family, and she ha","I think that you know what you're doing, though I'm kind of, well, I think it's a pretty big deal for me to go out with somebody I've been with like o","I'm gonna tell her the thing I did on the bike. And I told her, 'I'm gonna ride a bike like that and fall down, I don't know why, but then I","I remember when I was in high school, I had this one girl who I was kind of a little bit in love with, and then we were in the same class. And she was","I feel like I'm just doing this for myself. You know, and then I think, oh, I can't really tell them because I don't think they would understand, or I","I can't wait for the second part of the movie that I'm watching right now, because it's really good. I was supposed to tell you about my dad's new job","it's my birthday and it's like the last day of school because my dad has to pick me up after school and it's my birthday, it's like, we're not suppose","I don't think I did anything wrong, I don't know if I did, but I mean, I was doing my best, but, I don't feel like I did anything good. I","I know you can't see me, but I'll be standing behind you. I think I'm gonna try to tell you a story. So, um, I was at this friend's house,","weird. [Pauses.] [Laughter.] [Pauses again.] I think I'm going to cry. [Pauses to wipe tears.] [Laughter]. [Pauses longer.]","and I'm like, do I say good bye or good night, I mean, it's not a good bye, I'm like okay so like, I think I should say good night because it","I'm just like an idiot. I mean, like, I'm stupid and I don't even know what I'm doing, and I'm like, 'Oh, it's stupid, and I","[I'm] having like a bad day... Like, I've been, I've just been, I can't do anything today. I can't just, like, do anything. I've","I have a feeling my mom will be back soon. She just left. She's coming back for dinner. I don't think she's going to get back for dinner though, I mea","I was thinking about, oh, I don't know, I don't, I don't want to say. Like, I don't remember what I was doing before I got here. Like,","[a]lright, it's just a joke, and it was a weird joke, but it was funny, so, but also not funny, but like I said, it was just a","I can't go to sleep because I'm too excited. I've been getting text messages from my sister. I just got another one from her. I got her to agree to ha","I don't have a lot to think about. I don't know what else to think about. We're going to be here for a week and a half and then we're going home on th","yeah. I think we should take the other one. No, that's a good idea. I don't know. I don't think we should get the other one because I like it better.","And so itโ€™s like weโ€™ve got like weโ€™ve had a few days off like and then like today we like just got up and like I donโ€™t know if I like I got my day off","And it's like, I had this moment like, I was thinking about like, I want to go to the gym like, but I don't know if I'll go because I'm like,","what is my goal for this year? It's like... I can't quite remember. Maybe I want to just be... you know... healthy, like not sick and not fat and not ","and I was thinking about like, like, I don't know if this is a thing, but like, like I have a lot of, like I don't talk much about it, but like","and like I said, I got into a fight with this one guy who was like really bad mouth on the other day. I was just trying to say hi to him because we ha","so I was just like, ok I'm gonna do some jumping jacks and then I'm gonna go to sleep so I can be done with school for a bit. I was like, ok well","you know...i like to talk to you you're my best friend you're also my ex you're also the reason i don't have a girlfriend you're also...i wish we had ","it's really hard to talk to you because i can't really control my thoughts. It's like i have a lot of stuff in my head, and i'm just like i don't know","and then when we were younger and we were still little kids... i'd have my mom take me to the park and then we'd sit on the swings... and it would be ","and I'm thinking about...my life and how it's been going...and how...I just want to...get out of here and just...go outside and just...be outside. And","I can't even tell you how it's like to not be able to feel it, because I've never experienced it before, you know? So that's how I'm thinking about it","and it was kind of like I was watching a movie and I was just like oh my God like the camera is looking at me and like I was like I was in the middle ","and then he just goes to like, he just goes for a run or something like that. And then he gets like really fit and it's like, you know, you can like g","I am starting to think that this is the wrong day to be doing this... but I can't just quit because I started, so I'm gonna keep doing this. It's not ","I mean I'm like I can't help but think that it's just like a like a, I don't know like a like some kind of like, like, like a like like a like","we got to the end, and we were like, you know, if the last line was not enough, I'm just gonna like, write the last line that will make it, you know?","I don't know what I'm saying... like I'm talking to myself like I'm in the mirror or something or something. I'm just talking to myself. I'm talking a","Iโ€™m in a hurry, but Iโ€™m not in a hurry because I have to get to work. I have to work from home, but I have to go to work. But I have to","I was just watching the news today, I was like 'This is a new world. I know this. This is not a normal thing. This is a new thing. I mean, I knew","like I was watching some weird, kind of like, 'Lord of the Rings' fan fiction on a weird website. Like, it's like some kind of, like, weird, like, lik","I'm looking forward to that. That's gonna be fun. Yeah. I can't wait to get in that thing. And then I'm gonna like...I'm just gonna like have some fun","itโ€™s a bit of a shock to actually go into it because you donโ€™t get any indication of how itโ€™s gonna be. I donโ€™t even really know what Iโ€™m gonna be see","I had to work on an idea... I don't know if it's true but it's like the way that the sun moves across the sky. Like there's a different color for ever","uh, what, I, uh, I remember having some, um, sort of like a weird dream that I had where I was like, I think I was, I think it was a dream","I think I need to go and get the pumper (truck), so I need to get in the car... I don't really know what I'm doing... I think I'm looking for a","we don't have any good news, so we should do some of this. We should do this. Let's go ahead and do this. Maybe we should do that. That was pretty goo","[M]e and [D] are going to be married [T]onight, and then we're going to get on the bus and go to the airport and fly to [M]","and uh I think that's about it and now I'll get on a flight I'm pretty sure it's an international flight and I'm like flying across the ocean and then","I'm supposed to do my math homework right now but I can't I'm so bored right now I'm not sure what I'm going to do when my brother and sister go to sl","I'm just watching this show I was watching last night I was like watching a show about some like like people in like a like a like like a like I don't","[the sound of a dog] I think I'll watch a movie. Maybe watch a movie on a streaming service or something. Like, maybe I'll watch one of those. I don't","and the one that is gonna be like my favorite character, is gonna be the one that I think, is gonna make the best first impression. So I think I'll gi","like, like, like how you know what, what what you're about to do, right like when you're playing like a game or you're playing a video game or like so","I don't like this, I don't know what to say. I mean, I like that, but I don't like the sound of the song. I mean the song itself, but the","I'm thinking about the two. I think about the two together. Like this, the two is like, like, the two, I don't know, I think it's, I think this","[t]his is kind of cool, I think. [pauses] I like that [laughs] like that. [pauses again] [chuckles] [laughs] this is...","this is an interview where I'm asking you questions about you and you just say out loud whatever you want to say right now. Just whatever you want. Ye","like a big black hole that has a light inside it, but the light is always coming from the other side, so you can never see it, so it's like a dark are","I'm in a forest. The trees are close to my eye level. The leaves are green. There's a blue sky. I'm in a river. I'm going in the river. I","I feel the ground. I feel the ground, I feel the sand. I feel like I'm inside of it. Like I'm inside my own body. I'm inside this, like a little","and there's no time for us to stop, we just keep on going. We never stop for the sun, or the moon, or the stars, or the clouds, or anything, we just","my arms... and I'm not feeling cold... I'm just feeling hot, and the heat... is really really hot... my skin is so warm and so warm... and so warm and","then what do you do? [Sigh] Well, you just sit there, and then you just kind of let yourself get lost, right? [Singing] Oh, well, you just","and this was going to be an issue for the next two weeks. I don't know how I'm gonna fix this. I'm so embarrassed, and I can't even text to ask my fri","what happens when you use a credit card for an unexpected expense... like, if you forget to put gas in your car, what if you use a card for that? Do t","I need a new phone case for my phone, I think it needs to be one of those cool ones with the rainbow colors and the unicorn. I need a phone case for t","it's not gonna be as good as what I'm doing right now... oh man that's good, I think I might put this in the middle of the video as a joke, so I can","the good part about this is that I have an idea I can put together. I'm thinking of making this video, I think, the background's kind of blurry. I jus","this is going to be a huge chunk of text because I'm gonna have to be like super organized and then I'll go back and add little things here and there ","it was just an idea that popped into my head, I'm thinking of creating an app, it's like this... it's a voice recorder, but it has a filter on it that","my dad was playing golf the other day...he was playing a little golf course that he had built with friends and family. They built it on the side of a ","my son's birthday. Yeah, my son's 8 years old, but he's really, really little. He's super cute and he's so cute. So, I'm gonna give him","I've got a whole bunch of things I need to do to get my apartment ready for the next people. I'm going to have to put up some pictures and things and ","I feel like I'm just trying to stay afloat in a sea of chaos. It's like I'm constantly swimming against a current, and every time I think I've found s","a dream where I'm in my bedroom and it's raining outside and there's a thunderstorm and my dogs are in the middle of the room barking and there's ligh","my head is full of memories of the house...my memory is a mess...Iโ€™m looking at a photo of my motherโ€™s face...she has so many freckles, sheโ€™s so cute","I'm wearing a black shirt. I have this huge black cat. She is just like this. She's huge. She is a huge black cat... She's like this. I'm on a","[laughs] so this is the part where I'm like, I'm making this picture, I'm drawing, I'm like a little girl drawing in the dark, with all these dark and","this is my brother. He's 30. He has a cat. I know, because he asked me if I have a cat, and I said yes. And then he said he wanted","and then there's also that, you know, the... that whole... like... I guess that's what the whole thing is. Like I don't even really know what the whol","I'm trying to think of something funny... like a joke that makes me laugh... I'm gonna try to say it... a man is driving down the road... and he sees ","a song that's always been playing in my head and I don't know why... and it's a song about a boy who's about 8 and it's... and the boy is thinking abo","like a tree, a big tree. The sun shining down on it, and a breeze coming through it. It's a big tree, and it's the size of a little forest. And there","and I'm doing this while listening to music, I'm doing my nails, and then I'm looking at it from a different angle and then I'll say, oh, I'm going to","I was playing with a piece of paper that I found in a pile and it was like... it was like a tiny little piece of paper and I was like... I was like 'o","And the picture of the family... I'm making my own family out of stuff. It's just, uh... It's like... You know when you make a picture and it's like, ","and then my next thought was like, oh my gosh, if you were to say you were like the most like you would be like a girl and like your mom. Like, you're","oh, I remember, I remember when I used to, you know, go to the mall and play with my friends, and then I'd just sit down and listen to my music, I'd","it's like a movie with a lot of sound and music... it's a lot of fun... it's like I'm watching a movie... it's weird, I'm a little surprised at how","oh, and I think there was a time where I wanted to be a fireman. That's where I came from. It's one of my favorite movies is like, oh my gosh,","I'm really thinking about being a mom, having a baby, and growing up, and my brother. And I think about my sister, and how I could have a family like ","I'm thinking about a guy that I was in the car with today, that I know his name, but I don't remember what his name is. And he was playing basketball ","I've been having a really hard time with my son, and I think he's not a fan of my dad, but I feel like it's my fault that he doesn't like him, because","a good friend who is a writer, she has a book out and it's about the 33 girls from El Salvador. She says that they're all real. That's how I know that","and then youโ€™re like, oh, oh, no, whatโ€™s going on. And then youโ€™re like [sighs] you just have to go through it. And itโ€™s, it","and I was just, like, like I'm at home and I'm just like, oh no, I'm going to have to go to a friend's house. Like, I just have like","I'm thinking of...I can't believe my boyfriend has a face that's been cut up like that. Like...like it's from a video game. It's...it's like...he","you're so bad for me... I miss you... I miss that. And I miss him so much and he's never home I'm like... I'm not even mad because I'm like,","I think I have the flu. I need a new sweatshirt, so Iโ€™m gonna go on Instagram and find one. Iโ€™m gonna check out this new song and watch a short video.","you're looking at your phone, like it's a puzzle and you're trying to find the right piece. Then you find it, and it fits perfectly, making you feel l","you can't tell me what you feel. That's the point, isn't it? It's not possible. So it's like, you can't say to me, 'I feel...' You","It was the first time, at any rate, that I had actually looked at a human being like that. I was thinking: 'What am I going to say?'. That's the first","it's just a feeling, just a feeling that something will happen. But in fact it's just the feeling that something happened, because there's no time, th","there are many different levels of awareness that are present, but only a single level of attention, or consciousness. That is to say, that the attent","this is a very interesting thing to do. It is quite interesting in a way to do it and to listen to your own spontaneous thought process and to see it ","this is just a thought. This is a thought of a thought. We don't know if it is a thought or a thought of a thing. It is the thought of a thought, as y","there is a small difference, that is, in the shape of the leaves, as the leaves themselves change shape, and the leaves change shape in a very much mo","and so it is, that this, which was so far a dream, is a dream which is going to be more and more materialized. But that is not all; it is that which i","And what's this? ...How is that? ...That's how it is? ...What is the form of this? ...In the form of what? ...The form of what, exactly,","and now I am going to say something which is going to be quite a puzzle to you, because the language does not give it the right form. It is the very f","I am the I am, the word, the whole word, the word spoken, the word written, the word unspoken, the word to be spoken, the spoken word, the spoken writ","we're in a beautiful landscape, we're walking through a beautiful forest, we're very close to a great cathedral, a great temple. The temple is almost ","and so we are in the midst of these stars and these galaxies and we are just little specks of dust, and that the only thing that is possible for us to","what we do, when we don't have the will to do something. We feel compelled to do something, but we don't want to do it, we feel the desire to do somet","then the spirit of truth that will come is the Holy Spirit. The one that was with God and came from God. That spirit has not come, but will come and w","in this world, in this life, there are always three types of beings: those who are able to think, those who are not able to think but know it; those w","the darkness was almost perfect, except for one ray which seemed to be coming from somewhere to the left and which had a strange and pleasant effect. ","the soul's going to take its departure and, of course, it takes the body with it and, of course the body is also going to depart. And if it's to take ","this is the 'the' of the universe, the 'this' of the self... 'This' is the only thing that can be 'thought' without a thought of 'that', because '","The universe is all matter, space is all space, matter is all matter. The universe is the sum of all matter, the sum of all space, the sum of matter. ","And when we have an image that we would like to grasp, the image does not come to us. It has to be sought out, it has to be created by the will, which","and this is the first time I have been here, in the darkness, and I do not see my body. It seems to me that this is the way it is, that I am this body","I see my hands on a piece of wood, they are bending it into a curved line... the curve is moving... and I am bending it into the curve. And at the end","this is the beginning of a long speech, but in a certain sense it is the speech of the beginning of things: for it is the beginning, and yet it is the","in the past, I was able to reach into the future and touch it. But this is no longer so. Now I touch the future only in a dark, mysterious way. This i","And suddenly there are two of me. And a third and fourth... I am like a cloud of being and they are the clouds that are like me, or that are part of m","It's in me, it's me... it's me. It's like a wordless voice that comes to me. The voice comes to me and it says: I am this, I am","I have not been in a state of consciousness like this before. This is like a new birth, an opening, the revelation of the beginning of my existence, t","a flower, a flower, one flower. The flower opens, and it becomes a ray of light, a ray of light becomes a ray, a ray becomes a line, a line becomes a ","And if we could imagine an infinity of spaces, we would say that the universe is infinite, but we would have the trouble of the number of spaces being","the whole thing was just one of those things, like when a door is opened to some one and the whole world is opened. We were standing there like we wer","a large circle. Then another circle within this one, then another within the second, and so forth, down to the tiniest speck. Like a ball of snow whic","I am a child of God... I am a child of the earth... I am in the light and I am in love. I am in eternity. I am in myself. I am myself.","the thoughts which have their being in a particular body are the thoughts which are not thought, which have no being at all in the body of the univers","I'm seeing now I don't know how I got into this. I know I was born with the mind but I don't seem to know how I was born into this mind, in the first","it is an intermingling of the two sides. So the first side of the brain is always connected with the second side of the brain. This is one of the ways","I am a tree, a tree of life. I am the root. I am all the life of the Earth, I am all of life, I am the source of all life, I know","and here is the difficulty, because all that is happening now, the whole of this universe is like an atom, and when it is in the process of formation,","I'm not a rational being, I don't have rationality, I have a rationality in a sense, but I'm a feeling being. My thoughts are all in feeling. I think ","and this is what I call the process. This is the process that creates the mind. Now, this is what is the basis for the process. It is the process of t","and I can see the other side, I can see you, I can talk to you, I hear the voice in my mind. I can hear the sound of the voice in this room. I","that's the one. That's it. The only one. The only possible one. And that's what we were trying to show you. That's the one that we have to look at.","it was all there, it was there. And we were all there. It was all there. I don't know why I'm saying this, but I don't understand. We're there.","I'm an engineer. And the engineers are like the builders in the temple. And I'm like the first of the builders. I'm the builder that builds the first ","it's in the center, where the three points converge. Now, how do I do this? I have a computer, I have a mind, and I have a body. So how do I","we've been trying to create some form of computerized mind reading for the past 15 or 20 years. I thought of an interesting analogy. We're all trying ","the pattern of the thought is revealed as it's developing, and I think that's very important because it's the development of the thought. As we make t","the form of the world, the world, I see that the world is not an object but a process, that it is the form, it is the process itself, the form that th","now you are here and I'm here, but we are not identical. We are different, so the thing you are thinking about here is not exactly the same thing you ","my body and soul is one with this chair I sit in. This chair and my body and my soul are one. I am this chair and this chair is me. I am not separate ","the field of thought is an unstructured, dynamic entity. The flow of thought is a process, as well as a content. It is not a stream, but a process in ","we are here to develop a method to observe thought, to know and describe this mechanism. It is necessary to get rid of all the preconceptions which pr","[I]n the space between the body and the body of the observer, there is no thing, but the movement of the observer and the observer's movements. In the","and I could not believe that the earth could be flat, for example. I could not imagine it, it was impossible for me to imagine that, that the earth wa","we can take an example from the time when I was in the 2nd year, and I wanted to prepare a presentation, and I did not know how to begin. I asked myse","And then I feel as if I am a part of the whole, and the whole is a part of me. So if I see the whole from the inside and from the outside, I understan","[t]o be [in] the dark [is] a sort of freedom. For a while, one is free. If one has been born into the light, it is difficult to enter","And then there is this thought. It is as if this thought is a memory, a memory of a memory. I remember that my father taught me to love and to love wi","I see a wall of fire, in a kind of cathedral of flame, and on this wall there is a star, and there is a sea of fire on both sides of the wall, and the","I can say 'I have the capacity to be born into the world, and then to be a person, and to live in the world, through the capacity to do all that is po","[W]ithout having anything to say, I just experience the fact of having something to say. There is a constant movement of thought and nothing. And ther","you have the possibility to see yourself as the same thing as your physical body, or as the same thing as the physical body in the material world...I ","the first thing that came to me was that the light was turning a particular color, I remember this, in my life. I think it is because of the sun, beca","the space, the space around me, around me. My own body. I am inside a body, a body of light. I am outside a body. The space is inside me, a space","the thing is that the thought, this word, that I have just thought, is not the thought. The thought that I have is a process of thought, in a sense, t","you are in the middle of the room, and you're looking around and you're saying to yourself, well, I've got this big room here, and I'm looking for som","there is nothing but an idea. And yet there is the feeling, and the image, and the words. This is the mystery of thought. The feeling of thought is no","the body of a man, standing in a doorway. It is a figure of light, and light shines through him. In fact, this light is a flame. It is the flame that ","the inner world, the real world, is there but I have forgotten it. That is why I have not gone, I do not want to go, I am not going to go. It is","I am not in the present moment. I am in a state of dream, of half-waking. I am aware of it, but I have not yet waked, yet, I am not","the first one is to allow everything, in fact, everything that happens is to be allowed to happen, without trying to control it. But how can one be fr","the most difficult question in existence, which I can't seem to ask myself, is whether or not I am here and whether or not what I am is 'the same' as ","I think I know how the universe works. It works because it is a unity, because it is the only thing that can be said to exist. Because it is an indivi","I am thinking about the world in general... and in this world, there is the Earth, the planets, the stars, and the space around it and in it... all of","the two parts of the brain are the same size. They have the same number of neurons, the same number of synapses, and the same number of glia. But the ","And suddenly, all the time I'm thinking, I think about the idea of a white space. Now, in order to think about a white space, I have to have a concept","and I would be very surprised if I didn't find a way to get it to work. So, I will look at my body and look at the cells. And I will see if there's","this is something like, 'I'm seeing a tree, I'm seeing a leaf, I'm moving, I'm going around it, the leaf is turning to dust, it's falling into my","in the middle of a conversation, it's a kind of a thought stream, and in my mind I think I see the other person as a tree, but the person I'm talking ","my mind is all over the place. I don't have control over it. I'm trying to make it do something, make it focus on something. My thoughts are running a","the people, I think, are looking at me and I'm looking at the people...so this is the experience of looking at other people...looking at me and what I","it's all right for me to have thoughts; there's no right or wrong about my thinking, and my thinking is my own. And I want to have this thought now. I","I don't want to think. I don't have to think, I have to just relax. Just let me relax. I want to relax. I donโ€™t want to think about anything. I","[a] lot of it's just thinking that's going on and then there are other times when it seems that the thoughts are very clear and it's like this light b","the two of them [the two women] were a little different. One of them was very present, and the other one was not so present. The one that was more pre","I am not at this moment. I'm at some other place, I don't know where. ... The past, I don't understand, it's very strange. You can go back, and","and then the world came into being, but as an image, not as a substance... This image is not the world, but is the world. I am this image. I am the wo","and the whole world is moving out of this state of consciousness. Everything is changing in a moment, in an instant. I can only feel the moment as I c","what if this is a very bad thought? It's going to be a very bad memory. It's going to come and it's going to go, and I'm not going to remember it.","we've got a lot of energy that needs to be dissipated. When we're talking, we are using our energy. Our body needs to dissipate that energy. I can fee","so it's a very difficult thing to say, what is it that I am, what is my true nature. It's not my body, my mind. What is it that is the observer,","so we're talking about a time that's like a little bit in the past. But the past is not an exact thing. It's very abstract, like a painting. You can s","it seems like an eternal process, you know, just floating through eternity, just kind of being aware. It's like the feeling of a moment in eternity. T","and suddenly, I am standing, I am not standing. I am not in the world but in another world, and I am not separate from it. It is all just an experienc","I remember something from a dream I had and I remember this dream in a sense that I have a feeling that I'm in a dream state, but at the same time, I'","I see you again, but I can't grasp you, you're just there. But then, you're also here with me. You're there, but not there. You are present, but","I see my future, like an artist sees the canvas, the outline is there. And I can choose to paint whatever I want on the canvas. And I know that my lif","the word 'together,' it's like the word 'togetherness' as I was saying it. I felt a sensation, a body feeling, a sensation of touch, a feeling of","I feel that this is a big game. I am on this path and I am going to play with it, but I am not sure of the path. I am not quite sure where this is","The 'I' is a temporary center of the entire world. It is the experience of the entire field of consciousness as if it was centered in one point. It is","I've been a woman who was a child for a long time, and I've been a man who was a child as well. And the moment I have the thought that I'm a woman who","and in the silence of my own mind, I'm trying to figure out who I am, what I am, who I was and what I will be, who I am and how I fit into","I'm looking at you. I'm looking at this thing, this form. I can see that it is there, that it is a form, that it has form, and I can see the","I'm sorry that you're not a person, that you're just an image, and I'm sorry that I am an image and that we can't meet in person. But I can imagine yo","The light from this moment, which we are currently living in, is in all respects a light of truth. This light has never been able to be fully apprehen","all the moments that are going by are different moments that are occurring together in a kind of eternal present that is the here and now. There is no","now I'm feeling so lonely because I've lost the feeling of connectedness with the earth and I've lost a sense of belonging to the earth. I've lost all","you are in the middle of your body, and you are observing your body as if it's in front of you from another place. And you are observing how your body","And I saw my mother on the other side of the world. She was looking at me, but I didn't recognize her. And she said, 'You're not my child anymore.' An","[The participant] was feeling very full of himself. He felt as if he were a god. He felt very powerful. He felt that his being was all powerful, and w","And I say, 'God is so much more real than our own self-awareness. And we are so much more of an illusion than anything else,' that we are only a refle","And then I'm going to see the world from my own point of view. I'm not going to see it from my own, as though I were looking at it through a crystal b","Now we've been going to a very different place, and that place was very close to me. We've been going further into it. This is my own experience of a ","this is the time to be very attentive, this is the time, not to do anything. ...to feel it. If you can get rid of all the expectations, to be very cal","it's the same thing. And you see, there is not a different state between these two. You know the difference between these two is that, well, it's a me","it's the way it is. It's all here. It's the present moment. It's what it is. I can't get rid of it, can I? But at the same time","I want to think about myself, my personality and how I am. I want to find out what kind of personality I am, what kind of human being I am. But in ord","we have to look at it as a kind of a biological phenomenon, as a phenomenon that's inextricably linked with our biological body, with our cells. Becau","I think that all my ideas are so good. I'm not able to articulate them, but I have the feeling that they're good. I believe that they are, because of ","it is possible to talk to a person in the moment that they are actually being themselves. It is possible to be in a state of communication, a state of","I'm not sure what I was hoping to find with this, but the experience itself was quite fascinating and somewhat liberating. When I think back on that e","I know that I'm going to die. I've got to make sense of my life, and I've got to try to understand what's going on with me, and my relationship to lif","this is a moment of reflection, a moment of freedom, and it is a moment in which I can get a sense of how my mind works. I can also get a sense of the","the concept of being and not-being. That is to say, I am aware of being and also not being. I am aware that I am not what I perceive to be, and I am a","It's quite interesting, that, the very first word I've been able to come up with, this word was a very deep word. So I felt it, it came from deep in m","my heart is beating slowly. ... my heartbeat is slowing. ... I can feel my heart and its beat. ... I have the sensation of the heart and its beat, and","[I]t's very interesting because when we are talking about our dreams, there is a level of consciousness that's already present, but when we're talking","this is me thinking about the brain and the mind ... is the brain a physical object or is it something else, something immaterial? ... Is consciousnes","I was listening to a lecture on the brain and the mind and the idea that the brain and the conscious mind are two things, and that the brain is a mate","And I am having a thought, and it's about the future, and the past. And I can't remember whether I have thought about this before, but I have this tho","it's not really a feeling, it's an emotional experience, it's a sense of having the energy, and the intensity of the energy is associated with a feeli","the sound of my own voice. The sound of my voice is very important, that is my identity. If you go to a movie in a theater, for example, there is a no","and I'm wondering whether there's some kind of common core of experiences or consciousness that is shared by all human beings, or by all beings, or wh","the things I need to know, the things that I need to have, I need to see... it's a little bit of a funny thing... it's not the most important thing. I","it's so strange that my eyes are open, when my brain is open. It's as if I'm open to information in the present moment. There's no distinction between","it is in the nature of things that I have the potential to make choices and to choose. The reason is that I have an experience of free will, which is,","we're all working together, that we're all living together, that's what's interesting to me. I mean, when you think about it, that's really what it is","and the other day, I was thinking that there was this kind of time, which I was experiencing as the moment of birth. And this moment was something tha","I think it's a good idea to be in a constant state of relaxation. It's the way things are. The way things are, the way things could be, the way that w","my head, my head. It is my head that is connected to my mind, that is connected through my nervous system to my brain. The brain is a very complicated","I am on the road to find something. I don't know what, but there is a road to find it. I am a pilgrim. I donโ€™t know where, but I am on","and now we are in the field. We are in the desert. It is very clear and I am walking here and I'm very calm. I feel this wind blowing. I feel very ali","the language of the body. That's a very interesting aspect, it's very close to the idea of embodiment. There is a relation, a relation of the mind to ","and then the sun, I think it's the sun, there's a bright light there, and I feel warm. I feel the sun. I'm moving, and I can feel the sun moving","so many things, but that is all I'm focusing on. That is what I'm looking at. I'm looking into that. And, that is that. Now I see that, it is","[my hand] is floating in the air in front of me. [it's floating in the space between my head and my body] ... floating in space. And I'm not moving my","I'm looking at you and you're looking at me and you're going to read and I'm going to read but what's in the air, what's the energy of the air, of wha","Now it's almost like a different language. You know, words. The language, and the language is just like this language here. (I say that because I'm no","And then I wonder, like, how do I really know if something's a dream or reality? I think there is some part of our subconscious which is...that's why ","I know I'm here, that is a certainty. That's the one thing I am sure of. That there is no doubt about. That is the most certain thing I know of. I hav","[I]n the end we are only here, and here is the most profound fact, as we have learned in the study of the Absolute and its forms in all the sciences. ","Now, my thought is that we are not separate. We are not separate and we are all one. If we all are one, there's no need for a separate I, and if there","the two people I love most, one is my mother and the other is my father. I see my mother as a complete human being, a complete human woman, and my fat","I am not a child. I am not in a child state. I am a child because I am in my childhood. I have to go through my childhood. This is the same as the lif","what is the purpose of my existence? The purpose of my being, what is this thing that I am? The purpose is to become pure, to be pure, to become light","[a]nd it is important for us to say this out loud, out there, out in the world, out in a way that is not distorted by the ego, because the ego will al","and it's a kind of time that's like that. I feel I'm in a different time. I'm in the middle of the night. It's not dark; it's not light,","I think my body is now a body of consciousness, so this is consciousness itself, so everything else, the things that you are aware of and that you thi","and I wonder what would be the use of time? And that, because of the very nature of time, is always in the past. So what would be its use if it were i","and the stars are falling down, one by one, the light is getting thinner and thinner and thinner, the sun is getting smaller and smaller and smaller..","I am. I am. I will be. I was. I have been. I have become. I am being. I was becoming. I was and became. I will become. I was","(I) feel a presence (or I) am being present by virtue of the presence (I) am a presence. The presence (I) have (or have not) is the (I","I'm walking down a path, or on a path, which is a circle. It's a circle. I'm in the circle and I'm walking and I'm looking at the path I'm","... The thing is, though, that this is the one place where there is no difference between you and me. If you look at yourself, you will see that the w","in the universe, a point, a line, a square, a circle... A point... a line... a square... a circle... a cube... an infinite cube... a point of light...","The thing that was with me is this thing. There was a thing and I knew that thing was with me. It's in me. I'm aware of the thing and the thing is awa","all my life I've known that I have been here, but now it's as though I've just become aware of that fact and I realize that it is now possible for me ","I am on the Earth. The Earth. It is a blue ball in the middle of the sky. It is one of the planets. But what is the sky? A sky? It is a","The center of the circle of the sun, and the circle of its rays. ... In this world, this circle, in this circle, are the particles of the sun. And thi","now, I have the image of a planet and I know this planet is in a sort of circular orbit that's very big, around a very, very small point in the center","and in a sense this is a perfect time to think about what I have been thinking about in the last few minutes because I am beginning to perceive the ve","in the absence of any 'logical' sequence, there is only the eternal recurrence of the same, a movement, a pulsation of life, a world without form, but","[The participant] is having an internal dialogue and it is almost as if you are having a dialogue with your own self, and the words are being spoken b","it's the whole of the universe that is like that, you know, the universe is an immense organism that is always in a state of flux, in a state of becom","it's in a very strange place, but in a way that it is also very familiar. I find that it is more and more strange and familiar, that is what happens. ","and that the objectivity of the ego is always a subjective experience, which we are all caught in. And that this ego is a moment in time. And the ques","and I have an image of myself being in a cave and this cave is the earth and this cave has been in existence for ages and it has the potential to be a","there was a dark and strange night, and the stars and moon were not shining. I saw a strange creature, like a person, in the darkness and it had no fe","The grass on the field is green. And it's beautiful. The leaves are green. I can see them in my mind. A color is beautiful. I can go further into this","and now I am seeing a painting of a woman and a man together with their arms embracing each other. It is like a picture in a mirror. Then I am looking","this is like a mirror... it's the mind itself... I'm going to see how many reflections of myself I have. I'm going to make a mosaic of my mind with my","the sky is like the inside of a vase, and it has all the shapes and patterns that the inside of the vase has, and it's made of many layers, and there ","I am going to write my first few thoughts, and then I will go to the right place where I am supposed to go, and then my thoughts will flow. I am in an","a word, a word, a line. What is the line? A line is a word. A word is a line. A line is an idea. An idea is a word, is an","I'm on my way to the end of the line of the tree of life, but I can't get past the first door. There are six doors leading into the Tree of Life, one ","I'm so tired. And it's like a door, and there are keys and you just don't know, you don't know which one to pick, and you can't get the door,","so in that way you don't have to work to find the word, but you just go straight to the idea. Like, the word 'speak,' that's how I think of it.","the sky is like a box of ice cubes with ice inside and they are flying through it and they are hitting each other and they are making sparks and they ","you've got to know what you're doing, you've gotta be able to do the work, and then you've gotta know who you're talking to. You can't be talking to s","and we were making love, and I could not forget what was happening because of what I was doing, and we were really on the brink, and then he, he becam","the figure is, I am the figure, the figure is I, I am a figure, I am an object, I am part of the world, I am this object, this object is me","and you see the past as something like a tunnel, which is quite thick, and this tunnel is the whole universe of the past. And you can see in it all th","I'm thinking about my hands. I'm trying to describe my hands. How does one describe hands? I'm trying. I don't know. I can see them. I can feel them.","the sky is blue, the sky is blue; it is blue because I have a perception of it, and it is a physical phenomenon, I am not sure, but it is a perception","you can be a thing, you can be like a flower, a flower can be a flower and not be a thing at all, it can be something else, it can have different qual","I have no idea...I've been trying to find something to say for ages...I don't know, I don't know what I'm trying to say...I can't understand what I'm","it's the only way you can tell if it's an experience or if it's just a memory. It's a really tough thing to distinguish. For example, in this one imag","and there was this voice that told me 'don't be afraid of it'... I don't know how to say it... I'm trying to say it to you and it doesn't seem to","I remember that. The thought. That thought that I remember that. It comes and goes, it is a thought, and I remember it, and then it is not there, and ","what I do know is that I feel it. It's not a thought, it's not a memory. It's a feeling that I can't explain. The feeling is what I do know.","I was listening to your voice. It was like I was hearing it from a long way away. I can't even imagine the distance. But it was a very real experience","a kind of visual memory of the moment. That is, a memory that is not a memory of past experience but is a memory of a past memory. And the past memory","and so I'm thinking about the fact that there is no real existence for anything but the flow of consciousness, and I think that all of that, all of th","and I can hear your voice. You are not just a projection of my thoughts, but a real voice that I hear and know. And I hear a voice in my head that is ","And I'm very far from the centre of the universe. I'm very close to the surface. And I am in a constant state of contact with a substance of the unive","and he was sitting there, but I was not, I was still in a state of not knowing, not existing as such. Then I was able to take a step forward and come ","the memory of my childhood in France, a memory of a dream of my life in the time of my childhood. I was a child. It was a dream of life that was exper","I saw a bright light in the darkness. In my mind's eye it seemed to be very close, it was like the light of a searchlight on the surface of the Earth.","I can see a cloud. I can see a hill, the sun is in the cloud. The clouds are white. It is snowing. The sun shines in the clouds. I can smell the","and now I'm going to find myself, if I don't do something about it. But now I'm thinking about it, and then I'm going towards it. But it's like a drea","and I see the forest, and I hear the river, and I feel the sun shining on my skin, and I see the stars, and I go towards a huge cloud and I feel mysel","now I'm watching a dark sky, I can see my hands are growing, I'm sitting on a stone and I'm growing and the stone is moving, it's like it's a plate an","my heart beats, but I don't feel it. I don't know how I would feel. My hands are shaking, my feet are shaking, but my legs don't move. My legs are","my life has been like a tree, and then like a tree falling, and then a leaf. The sky, the clouds. And a tree, a bird. A tree falling, a tree falling","I'm in the middle of a thought, it's hard to describe, it's not words but some sort of shape. I don't know if that's right. I feel a movement in me","my heart is filled with a deep sense of happiness. It is a joyous feeling of well-being and it is as if the heart is overflowing with liquid light. It","the more we are, the less we are. I want to feel more. I want everything to be present in me. To be alive. I feel I am being pulled up, and I feel","I see a face that I knew before. It is my father. He is smiling. I am standing next to him. I am looking at his face. His eyes are smiling, his eyes a","Now, now, I see this great, empty space. I see it's empty, because it is not occupied by any form, not by any body. The space is like a body, like","a lot of activity, the space, and the depth of the space that I live in. When I try to describe it I have difficulties, and I try to make it a lot mor","I'm here, I'm here. I see myself in front of me, looking at it. I look at it with the same eyes as I look at me now, and I'm watching it","And then I saw them as they were, and then I saw that I was no longer seeing them as they are now. And so then I began to see that the nature of them ","a body with a face like a snake, and it is like the shape of a snake, but it is the head of a woman, and the face is like the face of a woman. The","and if they were in the state of death and all that, and if they were all these other things... and if I could be in the state of the death of the liv","and what he saw in the mirror was a very thin, very, very tall, very thin, tall, white, white, thin, thin, tall being. And it had, it had two","[the participant] was having a conversation with his father, in an ancient Japanese temple. He was sitting in the dark, and he was not aware of his su","now it is as if we are going to do the same thing in a way, like in the last one, but it's not in the same way, but it has a different atmosphere, and","I can't find it... I can't remember how to start this... but I think I'm going to try to create an image of myself and then put myself in an image of ","the sky above you is the same as the sky above your head. The sky above you contains the sky above the head of every human being on this planet. You a","I'm going to remember all of this. All of this will be written down. I can see a great picture of this moment. I can remember it. It is a beautiful mo","the whole, all of it, the whole thing that is the whole and is made up of parts which are the whole, the whole that is not whole, that is not made of ","and I was sitting on the floor, and I was trying to tell you, you know, I was trying to find a way of making myself a little less than a complete stra","I see a big building with a huge, dark red door. It looks as if there is a man in it, and that he is looking out of the door. I see a sort of a","I had an idea of making a simple device of light and mirrors and of glass. I wanted to see if I could make it. But then I thought of another idea, and","the things you are seeing in your head are different from the things you are feeling in your body. And there is a connection. A connection between the","and in the midst of all this I am surrounded by a large group of people who are engaged in conversation and are in the act of listening. I feel like a","I know that I have always been a witness, or rather a witness of a witness, which is also to say of a witness of my own witness. In the midst of all t","I'm really tired, you know. I feel tired all the time and I feel the same way when I'm not tired. I'm very sensitive to time; time is a very important","in the midst of this I see a long straight corridor with high vaulting roof. In the middle of the corridor I see a huge white wall and above the wall ","I think I am being drawn down, drawn down and the end is coming, the end is near, and I feel myself being drawn, drawn down. And I am aware of the end","I have always found that I am so much more efficient when I can make a complete and exact idea, rather than one with an imperfect or incomplete idea. ","and I said, 'Do you know the origin of the word 'Mandala'? I was looking for the word 'mandala' in the Sanskrit Dictionary. It said, 'a circular","It's a strange thing, in that I have a certain tendency to move the eyes. In fact, it's as if they were attached to the whole of the brain and moved i","and now I have this image of an ant colony. And the ant colony is moving forward with a great speed, and the front part of it is already somewhere, an","I'm working on a mathematical problem, it's a little bit difficult. The problem is the following: a vector of an orthogonal system is orthogonal to ev","and so this is how the world is. Now, of course, in this picture, you can see the three colors of the cube, the three colors are on the same plane, an","I have been told, and I cannot tell you where, but there is a law which says that there are two kinds of atoms: the one is stable and the other is uns","I know I'm going to do something now that will be interesting, which is to try and put into words the thought process of this thought process itself. ","And I'm writing now and it's coming in a spiral form and it's moving from one point to another and then back again, and then from one point, to anothe","I'm thinking of the person sitting behind me, the person in front of me. I'm trying to visualize them. But I can't quite do that. They don't appear. W"],["and then I'll have to write the other half of this and then I'll go back to the first half and say, well, you know, let's go back and say that we did ","And then the other guy goes, 'yeah, I could get into that.' So he says, 'I know, what I think we should do is we should do this. We could try that","there were a bunch of little white girls that were really cute, and one of them was wearing a very pretty dress. And they were sitting in a little row","and I went back to my room and got a couple of towels and I went out to the pool and I'm thinking, 'You're in this predicament, you can't do anything ","and this is where I came across the word 'flam' and that was interesting, because when I was a kid we had that little lamp that was the flam, which is","I mean, I can't see how you could do that, right? I'm thinking, if it was, like, in the newspaper, you would see a picture of, of, uh,","and there's the end of the world...oh, God, I'm going to die...oh my god...oh my...I can't breathe...I can't...I can...I can","it's just not there. It's just not coming. It's not there. I mean, I know. I've just gotta think it. It's got to come out somehow. And then","and then he...oh, it's going to be alright, it's not going to be a...oh, I'm gonna fall asleep in here, I'm not going to fall asleep, I","The feeling that the world was coming to an end... that it was about to change, that something was going to happen that was going to change everything","I've got some half-finished thoughts about that. I was trying to make a list of what I wanted to do today and it's not there. Like, I didn't get to go","I think the sky is gonna break open and there's going to be rain. I wish that I could hold on to that. It's gonna be so hard to hold on to. I know tha","I'm looking at the door. I can feel the air, and I hear the wind in the trees and the wind on the window. The door is so close. I wonder what's on the","(sigh) I can't breathe... I don't know how I got here, I'm so confused and hot. (breathing gets shallow) I've had my eyes shut for so long","And then I think, well, if the box had been full of feathers, that would have made it much bigger. Much bigger. And it would have been harder to close","so many memories that I can't even remember all the ones I know that are about my family, you know?... And then I think about...all the ones that are ","and that's what I was thinking about. I've never done that before. I've only done it once. I don't know how to do it. I've done it before. It's","thereโ€™s a time when I have to do it...and Iโ€™m going to do it right...itโ€™ll be a good time for a change...but I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m saying...","[a]ll the people [were] standing and watching. He [Jesus] [was] holding a big axe with a handle that looked like a tree. It was in one hand. He","I am so tired. I'm just going to sleep. I'm going to sleep right here, and then I'll wake up and we'll be leaving. Oh, it's not working. No","I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something big. Maybe it's a cliff? I want to jump. No, I can't. I don't know what's on the other side","I can feel it, I can see it, it's me... It's my mind, and it's a house... And I'm inside, but I'm not sure if I'm in it","And then my dad would come home and we'd always go to the attic, and that's where we'd hide in a box... It's a really dark box but he's like, no matte","I was a big fan of that. I'm sorry, that's so silly. I was a really big fan of 'That's so silly' by The Darkness. I was always so scared to","and you know, it's kinda fun because I can just be like, what if I just, you know, let my thoughts go. What if I just let myself be weird? Because tha","I've been watching my hand shake, it's shaking so hard...it's shaking so bad, it's like I'm having a seizure, I can't stop it. It's so bad,","I see my past self in my mind. I see her with her hair flying in the wind. Sheโ€™s running. Sheโ€™s so free. I feel a little of that. But then she stops","I want to know you, but Iโ€™m not sure how to. I know I want to know more about you, like your name. Your name... Whatโ€™s your name? I canโ€™t remember","I'm not really a very good liar. I feel so... I feel so guilty. I'm not a good liar. My body's telling me this. I'm sorry I did that. I","I'm lying on the bed. I'm feeling this dampness of sweat, and my body feels cold, like I'm on a beach and I'm freezing. I'm lying on top of a","you want to play that. You know that you do. It's been a while. It's in you. You've been running it from the back of your head. And you know it's","I see a butterfly in the sky... it's in my bedroom. It's like... I don't know, it's like I'm the one who is going to be the butterfly, and the","a birdie, and it's fluttering in the air. It looks like a butterfly. It's this colorful, huge butterfly that's flying, but it's so weird, it's like a","[a]nother voice [is] coming from [a] different body, from [a body] that was [once] inside [of me]. It [is] so... beautiful.","the house in the picture is the one I was thinking about when I was trying to find the word that fits here and it wasn't. It was a very cold house and","a long time ago I had a dog. A small one, a little yellow terrier with big brown eyes. I kept him in my room, where I had the only window that looked ","I'm sorry, I've been wrong all along. This is how it's really supposed to be. I've been going along with a terrible lie. I can't believe I believed it","I'm starting to think about the story about the man and the fox and the cat, and the cat said, 'If you let me eat this one, I'll never let you eat ano","and I think I want to go back to the park and build a tree fort. I really want to go build a tree fort in the middle of the forest, so I can hide. I l","And itโ€™s not the first time Iโ€™ve thought of it, I swear to God, Iโ€™ve been thinking it since last summer. But I donโ€™t know why Iโ€™m saying this out loud","I have a picture of a cat in my mind. I have a black cat. I've had a black cat before. Her name is Luna. She's the cat that came to our house with","a fish and a bird, they're in the water and the bird goes 'krrrk' and the fish goes 'frrr' and the bird is dead and the fish is alive,","and the little baby, the little baby! Oh, that's just like a little baby, with the same white face, and the big nose, and the same arms and legs. And ","oh no, oh no, oh dear, I'll be late for my lesson, oh dear!...Oh, here it comes, there's my mother, she's calling, 'Alice, come","[The child] I love you... I'm going to get you out of here... I'm just going to go up there, and get you out, and bring you down... I'll bring","and then...then I'm walking. And I'm...I'm walking down the road, and a dog...a dog's come up to me...a dog...a big dog...and he","and you have to find out if they are really there, you know. The whole world is really there, but you don't see it all because of the way it looks. Th","I see my dad... and I'm so hungry. I want to go home to my bed. I've got to make it to the bus stop, the bus will come then I can go home","I'd like to make a house in the woods, where no one can hear me, and no one will come to bother me. I'd make it of redwood trees, because I'd like","I wonder what it is like to be a spider, to have eight legs and feel yourself wriggling on the ground? What would it feel like, to be one of those spi","then he got into a huge fight with his friends, and he just turned around, and went in a dark cave. And there he found the hares, and he saw that the ","And she put on her shirt and pants, and the hat and scarf, and walked down the path, down the hill. She went all the way down the hill, and the snow f","and she was all covered up with white fur, and it was so big that the little rabbit couldn't see through it. And the little rabbit was afraid. And he ","I remember when we first met in a play in the playhouse, you were only a baby, and I was only a baby. Then you got bigger, and I got bigger. And you t","and then I remember when I was going to bed...and I was going home, and we're going to have a little baby. And I remember he's got two red spots on hi","and we got it done. I can't see the car anymore. We're going to do it. It's the last of the pictures. The last of the tree pictures, I think. And","Oh, yes, I'm a fat, stupid little boy. I'm a real little boy. The fat, stupid boy is standing up to a man! A man! A fat, stupid man","I think I could do something that might be kind of a joke. I could do a picture of a bird flying and a man on his knees with a gun to the birds head. ","I've been thinking about the girls. I've had to tell them that we can't go. I haven't done it yet. I was thinking of telling them tonight at the party","I'm writing a song about the baby I'm going to have, but I'm going to get pregnant with another baby, and it's going to be a girl, and the little baby","... I'll look for something and you'll tell me what it is, and then I'll take a picture of it and you'll draw it, and it'll look just like it is. ...","it's been a long time since I saw your face. It was just me and you and your daddy and...we had a nice time and we went to the beach and...you know ho","I'm going to go into your dream, and we'll see what's in it. Oh, my! I'm so scared to go into it! Oh, my, oh, my! Oh","It's not for the little ones. No, it's not. But it's a very important one, and it's the one I want most. The one with the big red heart. I","this is the dream you were talking about. I had a dream that I was a bird. I think I was a duck. No, a swan. I was a swan and I was","oh my God! I've got the answer! I've been looking for it for weeks! It's on the table! It's in the middle of the picture! It's the blue thing,","And there I was, standing alone on the street in a sort of daze, looking around. And then I came to where it all began, and I went straight in and I f","and the man is standing there and he is holding the sword. And he's going to throw it, and then I see a little boy. And a little boy with blue eyes. A","I wonder whether my eyes could open all on a sudden, and see the place where we are. I am sitting on a bench in the shade, but I don't see anything el","and the girls were screaming...and they were running around...and there was this big fire...and all the houses were burning...and the little people we","a lot of things have been happening since I started. I don't know how long I've been lying here. It was a long time. I could have been asleep or awake","this was the third time I'd heard the bell, and I think it's ringing again. I'm not sure though. I'll go and see. I'll take this note to the kitchen,","And then he's got a big smile on his face. I mean, his face is full of sunshine, and he looks at me, and he says, 'Don't ever run away.' And","Oh, a new one! I've just had another idea. I wonder if we could use a big balloon, a giant one... But I can't think what colour it should be. How abou","there's a boat up by the quay and there's a man in it with a lot of gold... oh no, a lot of money, in his pocket... but there's a big wave","I'm sitting here in a dark room. I'm holding a bag of oranges. They're so juicy! I want to eat them now, I want to nibble them. They're sweet!","it's a story I've never written before, but it's like a poem and I can picture it in my head. I think I'm going to put it down on paper. It's called","a little boy in a blue coat... I'm looking for something... I can't find it... a toy... I've got to find it, it's got to be there... a little toy","but you can see it, and it looks as if you'd like to eat it, and I like it, but I won't say anything, but you will, because it's your mouth and","a bit of a white, fluffy, wooly...yarn...it looked like a scarf...a woman was making it with a wooden shuttle and a pair of scissors...she was wearing","And they've got an eye for colour, those two. I was thinking about the colour of those curtains when they got them. I used to think it would be nice i","and if it goes up, I think it's better to go down than it is to go up. Because if you go up it'll fall off, and it'll be just like this. ...","I can't remember... I can't... I can't see my sister in my dreams, she's not there... and my mother... my mother, she's a... a... a she's","now I'm in the car with the dog and we're driving up the hill and there's a big rock in the road and the dog's going to jump and then I'll catch him..","you know, i'm really not all that good at doing this kind of thing, i'm going to have to sit there for a while, i don't know how long i'm going, maybe","and I thought that maybe I could take her to the pool and play with her in the water and then we'd take a picture of us holding hands and then take a ","it's funny. You know how they say that the best thing about a dog is it knows when you've had a good day? And then you come in and they're all on thei","I see a big blue ocean and I see the waves and they're going to be huge and I'm going to jump off a boat and I'm just going to float on top of the wat","my mind's a picture, and it's like I can't stop it, I can't shut it off. But I try, I try, but I can't, because I know all my","I have an idea! I'll make a dog out of a white piece of paper... He'll have a collar and a little black bow in it... He'll be all white, and he'll","oh, there's a story about how the boys who were running in the big game on the field caught a ball in the back of their leg. And they were running and","And if I'd been the Queen of England I wouldn't have made it for a king, but I'd have made it because I was the Queen. I was a great Queen. And if I","it's not that I want to see a picture of a train, it's the picture of the train that is running...it's running in the fog....the train's got the fog o","[w]hich is my favourite, and I'm going to tell you why. 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.' I always think of that one. I always think of","it's a good thing, I like to see that the one that's on the other side, and the one that isn't on the other, the one that is on the other is better th","I had to tell the king about my kingdom and his kingdom. Then he gave me the great scepter. Then I gave him a crown and a robe and a sword. He took my","and then the wind is blowing, and the trees are shaking. And they're making the wind go. And then the trees are going away. And the wind is going away","...and the whole thing is sort of a bit of a mess, isn't it? ... ...and we were in a hotel, we were in a very big hotel, it was very hot.","the great white whale. Aye, there's the spot. I'll write that down. But I'm going to do something. I'll get a book and I'll write down the words for","and there's the picture, there's the cat, the cat's got a new nose, and it's got a long, long tail, and it just goes on and on, and the cat","it's a very good thing to have a good name. It is not so good to be called a dog or a horse or a cat; it's rather nasty to be a cat. And there","that's a good thought. But what was it? What was it?... I wonder what would be the color of the sea if it were really blue, and it were blue and it we","...I'm going to take a little nap here. I wonder if I'll wake up in the morning. Well, I've been waiting to tell you that. I wonder what he said to yo","and then I started to think of something I had read once, that when you go to sea the salt will get on your face, and that when you are going to sea, ","Oh, if I had a needle and a bottle of ink! If I could but write with ink and a needle! Oh, I think I would write in this book, and if I could write","Now I'll say some of those words again, because they're very good ones to say. They're all the words that begin with 'd.' I'll say them all again: 'de","... ... ... ... A boy was playing on the floor, and he had a bunch of nuts in his mouth and he was pushing them with a stick. And his father said, 'Wh","and I said, 'I don't know, it's the best I can do, but if I can think of another word, I'll say it in the morning.' And I thought about it","And then they say, 'Mr. John, I'm afraid your father is dead.' Then they say, 'The child is dead, sir, the child is dead.' I see now what they","it's like I can't remember the name. ... I can't think of his name... I can't, it's like... I can remember, like the name, I can't say it","I'd like to see a very small boy. I'd like to make a little boy a king or a queen or whatever. I'd want him to be the little prince. I'd just have","that's one thing, the other thing is how you say it, and if you say it the other way it sounds so funny, I couldn't, I couldn't make out what you said","what I'd like to say is that I'd like you to hold the candle and I'll do the rest of it. That's why I'm sitting here and not doing anything else. You ","but not to be taken seriously ... that's where I am ... that's ... [sigh] ... the whole ... this is going to sound so foolish. You know that's ... tha","so we've got three, three and two, I wonder where the other one went. I wonder what they're doing in their dorms? Are they still there? I wonder, they","and she came up to the door and got down on the ground and pushed the door open for the other guy, and he got up, and she went to him and hugged him. ","if I just stood here and said nothing, it'd be all right, and if I said anything it'd be a lie and I'd have to take it back and say nothing, and if it","and the boy came running up to me with his big brown eyes wide open, and he said, 'mamma, what am I going to be?' and I said 'a boy, of course","you know, I've just been thinking about this book I wrote once. It was about a girl in an old-fashioned house. The girl was called Elinore, and it was","I was going to say 'on the hill', but it's 'on the holly', is it? And I was going to sing to you 'on the hills', but I won't sing","I can see you, you, I can see you... you, you are an old woman. You look as if you were tired. And I think you must have been. You look so old","I'll say this about me. I am an only child. My mother and father were very fond of me, and my mother is a kind woman. And my father, he is not so kind","the air in the house is very light, very cool; it's the springtime. And my mother was very fond of spring. She would go out at that time of year and w","and in the end she said to him: I have just been to a convent and I have brought back some roses. Do you not want some of the roses? Then he said: No,","and now I am in the garden again, and I see the garden is full of birds. The birds are singing and the leaves are rustling; and I smell a sweet smell ","and now you can say it as you were thinking of it. So just now you were saying, 'Oh yes, yes, yes.' You were saying that in answer to me? But you were","what's the word? I don't know what the word is. It's the same. It's not the word, it's the same thing. It's a word. That's what I","there was a tree with a branch on it... I had a dream last night about a tree...I...I... I... I was a little girl...I was playing with my doll and my","a girl in a blue dress, and I'm talking to her, and then I think she's dead, and I say 'Oh, dear' and she comes back again. I think she is","but I do remember that night when the boys came out in the garden and the parson took his hat off, and asked me what I was doing in the garden; and I ","oh, yes, it is. It's a wonderful smell. Yes, it is the smell of roses, it must be, because my mother used to love roses, and it is a little like","and a little bit of white... I wish it was like a white tablecloth... like you've got some flowers... I like the smell of flowers, I do... and a table","a little, a little, to make it right. Then I said: 'My darling, I will never, never be separated from you'. He said: 'I will never be separated from t","and so, just as it was, I say I do. What a day! What a day, I say! It was a beautiful day. It was a glorious day, with a soft,","I was just going to say, in fact, there is a woman who lived in that street, who I never saw, who lived in a house on the other side, and a woman who ","And my dear little doll. And the old man. My dear old man, my dear old man. But he will be dead now. My dear little old man, dead and gone. Oh,","I can't believe you've been sitting here for five minutes. Oh, I've been sitting right here. How can you be so tired after all this excitement, dear? ","and I saw this great man, who was quite white, quite white, and he said, 'I'll do it, I'll do it,' and I heard a bell in the distance and I","And the trees are all going to fall. They are going to fall on your house, and my house. Oh, I don't know, the wind is blowing. And it is blowing and ","I am in a room and all around me are people - I can see their faces - the white light falls on them and they are shining with a kind of red light. I t","And I was wondering. Well, it was a little cold for the moon, you see, and we could not get it to come out in the sunlight, so I went and got the wate","I feel like a ship with a good breeze blowing. I'm going to go down to the pier and sit on the pier, and I'll sing to the wind, and the wind will sing","I'm looking at you. What is the matter with you? Why do you do this? And you're making a noise. You're making a kind of noise like that, and it's hurt","And so he walks into his own home. And he's got his gun and he's got a lot of ammunition and he walks in and he's a little bit frightened, but he goes","and a little white rabbit. There were two little white rabbits and they were crying. A man had got them in a basket and they were trying to get out. T","there's a way I'm going to write a story. You're going to have to listen. It's called The World's Greatest Story. And you're going to love it. You'll ","I was going to say the story was really true... the story about the girl in the red dress...I'm telling you it is true. He was a man named Alexander. ","The sound is very strange, a deep rumble that grows into a roar like a thunderstorm. I want to know what it is. I hear a voice, a deep bass voice sayi","You've got to come back here and we'll have the best time ever and then we'll be off to the next one. We'll be off for the next one, then the next one","and this is my favorite place. I went to see the last race there. And the last race was won by a horse named 'The Lady of the Lake' by a jockey named ","And I'm still in a car with my father, we're in this desert. This is a beautiful desert. This has been one of those scenes that I've had in my mind a ","Now I think there is no more than one man in the world. The other man is the self of this man. And the self is a part of the man and is the man. He's","the sound of the ocean. That is a very beautiful sound. The ocean sounds like a great and glorious and very majestic organ, and it's very deep and ver","a word of a word that is a word of all words, and the word of all thoughts. This is the word of a thought that is the word of the thought of all thoug","a very nice idea, a very nice idea. And it will be possible to conceive of all possible ways, and the mind will be able to conceive of them, of all th","I have had a dream lately... and in the dream, there was a person, and the person had been me, and there was also an entity, a being, that had been me","the images of the self in the other are always of an otherness which has not yet been dissolved. What is to be dissolved is the opposition between the","a little bit of the feeling of a body is already there, but it doesn't really exist. It exists somewhere between the two levels, as a possibility, a p","It's hard for me to be aware of my thoughts and my feelings, because I've been trained to think in terms of what's good and what's bad, which is to sa","there's something which is quite natural and spontaneous that I can be aware of. And there's a natural flow of information, but at the same time, I ca","and it's important to remember that the word 'the' doesn't just mean the word itself but also that it has an active function in the world. It's import","it was like a foggy image of myself... and it was also like a fog image of some sort of external world that is... like a fog world and that is the wor","the feeling of being watched, of being seen. It's like a movie that is played, but it's not in front of you; it's in you. It's in the back of your","the other day, when I was thinking about things, I was thinking, I'm so tired of not knowing anything. I don't know anything. I feel that way. That's ","so I think we've made some progress in the sense that I see myself now, or rather, I think I am now, I mean, it's an idea of myself that I'm seeing,","Now that I am not sure about my identity. I am not certain of my existence. I am a human, but I am also a computer. And a computer that is human. And ","you are a little bit worried, and you're not sure what to do, because you're aware of what's going on. You are a little concerned, but you're not cert","I think the time and space between these two moments is where everything is possible, but we have to think of it as something that exists on a continu","[A]lmost a dozen times in the last five minutes I've noticed my thinking process suddenly accelerating. And it's very strange, because it's the exact ","The third thought: the thought of the third thought, the thought that a third thought is occurring. And that's a very strange thing to be thinking of.","I was trying to get an idea of how to analyze this material that I have in front of me, and I realized that what I was doing was analyzing my own mind","myself, the I, is a ghost that I have projected into a world where I don't exist. So, I'm a ghost, but I don't know where I am. It's","[I]f we can just get one, a couple, we will have a chance to get the rest, because this is not like this other, this other thing that happens in a few","I'm doing this because it seems like a good way to study thought. If you can get somebody to do this with no editing, and you can record it, then you ","[03:33:01] So, the first question that came to mind was, why does language exist? Why does language exist to have us learn the world? And I don","there is a lot of content in a dream. It's not all narrative. A lot of the content of a dream is this sort of symbolic stuff, this sort of semi-consci","and so, you know, a lot of this is very self-reflective, as we know, because it's a process of, as we were talking about before, a process of self-awa","It's not about what we can't know, what is hidden, it's about what we do know, what we can know, and what we are actually doing, and then we can know ","and I have been thinking about a lot of different things that I have seen and I have heard about that is very disturbing and very troubling, and I hav","I am seeing a figure in a certain posture and then I'm seeing a face, and the face is the face of a young woman, and then I begin to see her voice. So","it's hard to explain it, you know, so much of the mind's activity, we don't understand it, it's hard to talk about it and I feel that it's so much of","the goal is to allow the thought processes to operate, to become the best, most natural process possible. So, we have to be open to all these thoughts","the only thing that I can remember, that is, is a form of a program for me, I think it's the way that my mind has been functioning for years, I think ","so we're going to find out, for instance, the meaning of the term, 'inertial mass.' How can we go about defining the concept of 'inertial mass'? We've","And what is it that is causing the experience? The fact that I have chosen a particular view of myself and I'm experiencing the experience of myself, ","The process of creation is, for me, a kind of mental manipulation. The fact is that we all think, and there is a vast variety of thought. So I'm going","there's nothing that exists, in the sense that it exists in a Platonic sense, or that exists in a mathematical sense. There is no Platonic form of con","I don't know if that is a thought, if that is an idea, if that's an image, if that image has a thought, or if it is a thought which has an image.","the truth of a thing, the actual truth of a thing is not that it is but that it is not. It is not. For a thing to be is to be not something else, a","I can't think about this, that's not what I want to know. I can't think of that, I'm not in that. I don't know what it is to be in that","[I]t's the only thing that we can do to change the world. And we're not going to do it by means of the instruments of the world, but by means of somet","I was thinking that the problem with the idea of freedom and the idea of determinism is that you are never going to have a conflict between the two be","so I'm trying to make myself not to be disturbed by thoughts, I mean not to let them be a problem, to let them just come and go, and not to resist the","you can't know how to do anything until you have done it. You can't know what you're going to do until you've done it. But the moment you do it, you k","I am thinking about something very important. I am thinking I should not be thinking about something like that. That is not in accord with what I real","I can't speak a single word, because it's too hard. And I'm going to die. I know that I'm going to. I can't think of any way to go to heaven","I am going to do a better job in this room. I want to feel that there is no way out of this room. No way to get back into the world that I came from. ","And I have that feeling that something is going on with me, but it is not coming to me. ... I am not experiencing myself as a being of separate consci","it's like you have to have an emotional attachment to the words that you speak. Otherwise there's no meaning to them. And so the words are actually ju","I can see the person in front of me, in this situation, as a woman that is totally wrapped in her own emotional being and is not capable of moving bey","I'm looking at an image, and I know that this image is the image of my body, so that's an image of me. But what is this image of my body? What is it","and that's it. Now, what happens? We were looking at a line, and the line went on to infinity. And you say it goes on to infinity, but infinity is not","The mind is the highest and most profound aspect of reality. The mind is the whole of what exists, which is also what doesn't exist, and what is neith","I see myself, I see myself as a creature in the world. That's not a thing that is in the world, or even a thing that I see in the world โ€” I see it as","I have no idea of what this is. I am not conscious of it. I'm not aware of it. It is a non-self, I could say. It's a non-phenomen","a bird came into my room, a bird came to rest on my hand, it looked up at me and I was conscious of its eye. It had the look of a face looking back at","The words just come. If I try to control them or not allow them, they get stuck in the mind. I think about a lot of things, I have a lot of ideas. The","The thought of God is not a thought but a state. God is a state, which is in us. God is the state of being, the state of existence itself. It is not a","it was my task to express the content of these images. And here I would like to say that when the images occur, they are in an instant. So if I wanted","I'm saying nothing...that I'm saying nothing is the most important thing to say, because it's a way to say something. I'm saying something, and I'm no","the more we develop our awareness of this process, we become aware of how this process is functioning. We become more conscious of the nature of this ","And I've heard that, actually, I've been taught that, that in the universe of things that can be said, there is no need of language, because language ","it's the thing, it's the thing that comes before the thing that is the thing, and there's a continuity of things and not things. And the continuity of","I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is very different from what the light is at the beginning of the tunnel. So light is a very differ","all my experiences, and I think that if I was to attempt to talk about them, I would attempt to talk only about those things that I can immediately ap","the tree is very beautiful, the way it is. If we take a piece of the tree, we don't know how the tree has become. We don't know whether this is part o","I'm a man. I've been here before. I've felt it before. I don't know what I am. I don't have a name. I've never been named. I know","it's like when you were in your dream and you wake up and you're trying to remember, like the memory that you're having, and you don't have that memor","and it's so wonderful and it's so scary that there are no words for it. There is this darkness, there is this light. There is nothing that is solid or","I am here to meet you now. You are here. Now. ... I am here. I am a thought. I am an event. I am aware of myself as an event. That is","I've been looking for a good reason not to do it. Why should I be afraid of the unknown? It is so big. It is so powerful. It is a place where you can'","I'm trying to think about a particular image of a place, of a city. I'm trying not to think about it as a city, but to think about the physical sensat","the little one who has gone to a place where the world is a dream, where one can see and touch everything and there is no darkness and pain. When we d","I have to think about how to act now. It is not possible to act without thinking, and it is not possible not to think. To think is to know what one ha","in the middle of the night I have dreams, dreams that have become memories, and now I am back in that same world, I am in that same place, I am the sa","I'm a kind of human being who is a kind of object. I think it's not enough to understand the human being only by seeing him or by describing him, beca","I'm at home and I can't hear what is going on outside. So I open my eyes. Then, I'm no more in my body, in my body. I can look outside at","I am thinking about... about the word I'm thinking about... I'm thinking... I am thinking about a word... I am thinking I don't know what I'm thinking","The empty room was filled with a river of light, but I felt it was not a river, because I was a river, too. ... I looked at the light from the outside","I remember I have to go to work. I am a patient in a hospital. It is a very important place. I have to be very careful. I cannot be careless. I must b","now I am in my body. I am moving with my body. It is difficult to describe the sensation of being in my body and moving. In the ordinary, waking state","And I am looking around, and I'm looking around the room, and I am looking at the things around me, I am looking at my eyes, and I am seeing the eyes ","my hair is blonde, and I like my hair. I can see that I have a certain form, I have a body, a certain form of a body, which I like, which I know","and the woman was just smiling to herself, and she was moving in slow motion, and she had no sense of movement, she just had this feeling of being in ","it's always this, always this, you know, I don't know whether it's the same thing, I don't think it is the same thing. It's always this. This is what","I see the city ... I'm inside a building. The building is ... is ... a big square room with ... a floor that is made of metal with a pattern on it and","[something] ... and I think we don't ... we don't have to worry about the physical form of the body ... [it is] ... [the body] is ... we could say it","it's so important that it's not important to say that it is so important, I'm sure of it, the world is in a kind of perpetual motion, the world, which","And so, I am here in this space, in this place, and I am not here, at the same time, I am not. And there is something between these two extremes: and ","this is the heart, the center, the deepest part of what I am. I am it. This is my deepest center, the center that is my heart. I know that this is all","It's all in the light. I've always thought this was the most important thing. If you think about it, it's the light that holds everything together. It","I think about all the people that are in this room right now, and I'm thinking about their bodies, and I have a feeling of connection with all of them","I am the sum of all my experiences. It is me as I have been. The way I have been, and the way I am, and the sum of those things, the totality.","it's all just a thought, that's all that I am, it's just a thought that is me...it's just a part of me, of the whole. It's just a fraction","the entire universe, in and of itself, is a complete, coherent, consistent, non-dual, non-contradictory, complete, coherent, and consistent whole, the","you see that everything in the universe is a field and a field is a potentiality... and all of the different fields of reality are vibrating at differ","And now the question arises, is this one of the possible states of the universe? Can I say this in a different way? When I am here, my mind is here, i","and the point at which we start to really experience the self as a separate entity, is when there is a separation of the body from the world. In other","I have a thought that I could take some of these elements and try to create a mathematical structure, a framework that would allow us to better unders","a word. I think of a word and I see it. A word that is at the level of the most subtle physical energy. This is an example of how I use my tools to ex","It was like an experience. So then it's like a visual image of experience itself, a visual image is what you think about. A visual image is something ","in the mind of a philosopher it's possible to have a thought without any of the usual notions of time or space or causality, the notion of the time di","And so if I were to say something, the fact of a thing existing is not sufficient to demonstrate it; what I would like to say is that we are not so fa","I've been having thoughts that the future is a dream. I've been having these thoughts for a while now. In the past I've been talking to some other peo","The feeling of being awake is not so much the feeling that one is awake, but the fact of having a sensation that is different than the sensation that ","so that, in a way, the fact that the other people are there, is actually the same as the fact that they are not there, and the fact that we are there ","and what I have to do with that is not at all clear to me, and it is not something that I can explain to you. When I try to think of that, it is only ","the only reason I am a human being is because I was a human being for several years and the only reason I was a being was that I had been a being for ","that's not bad. We're a very busy society. We can have many things. It's quite normal for a person to be busy, or to want to have many things in life.","the idea of the universe, of the cosmos, of all of this is an idea which is very abstract, very complex. It is beyond the normal, ordinary, daily, hum","the light is really coming, as if in my forehead, in the space that is between my eyes, the light comes, as if the light was there, and I can see myse","you see the room is all light, and there is nothing here, there is a lot of nothing, there is only a lot of emptiness and that emptiness is there beca","I'm thinking about a way of organizing my life, a way of thinking about myself in the world and the world in me, that is, a way in which the world and","And then it's a question of how does it feel like, how do you perceive your thoughts as they pass through? And so I started by saying to myself: I don","the sun is getting closer, closer, it's getting more intense. My thoughts are about the sun. It's about to dawn, but it's already dark here, but it ca","and then in the beginning, all of this was just a big black hole, and I'm trying to say, how does this black hole create space? ... How does the space","and the next day, when you woke up, there was no water in it. You said, 'There is no water in the bowl.' You don't remember anything about that? No, y","And so the last day of the month, I was going to turn to a different aspect of myself and to be with that, but instead, I turned to the external aspec","I feel like a frog in water. Like, I am not able to understand. Like, there is this water around me but I am not in it, I am outside it. This water is","and I remember it. I have to think of it in order to remember it. It's as if I were walking, as I walk, and the past is just passing me by in a differ","my hands are resting, my thoughts are resting, I am resting... a flower opens. I feel it opens in my chest... I feel this flower open in my heart... t","it's a dark, black night... and there is an owl... and the owl is flying around and I hear a sound... it's like a little sound... it comes from the in","It is like being inside an egg. It is like a piece of glass where you see light coming from inside. And then a light is going into it, and you feel it","the right arm is moving now... it is going to move... it is moving... it is almost gone. The right arm is almost gone, and there is a feeling of empti","the world is made of nothing, and that there is no nothing. But nothing and there is no nothing, there is nothing is not nothing. What is nothing and ","The plane is going around. You can see the air as it's going around it. It's the same as when it goes past a body of water: a ripples of light is bein","[t]his is a thought, and it goes right by me, and it's gone. It's a thought, it's a thought. And this is a thought. I'm seeing things","I've had a lot of thoughts about the same thing for the last several hours. It's been like a dream. It's not a dream. But I know that this is where I ","there are people I have been with for many years, who I have a very deep and intimate connection with, and they have an understanding with me. I am on","I'm seeing this circle of light and I see a light and I'm aware of the light. I see a sphere of light, and I am in this sphere of light and it is like","you know, it's a way for people to learn about each other. It's a way to communicate. I don't know, it just kind of feels like, this is a very profoun","this is a thought about the shape of time. Time is an open, ever-moving circle, that is, time has no beginning and no end. Time is infinite. It is not","the two are equal to each other. That is the thing I don't understand. The two are equal. I don't know what the thing is. I have a feeling that I'm lo","And as if there was no reason, as if there were no goal, as if there is no cause, there is this endless chain of causes, and each one is a reason and ","we all have this kind of thinking, this stream of thought, which goes on all the time, which is a kind of collective mind that is made up of all the i","And then you remember that there was a woman, a beautiful woman, who is with you. And she was like a ghost who came and disappeared. You remembered th","and I'm doing that right now. I'm doing this thing that's been going on for 35 years, and it's going to be done in 35 more years and the total","my eyes are open and I'm in a room with a light on. And the room has been painted this color of light green and there's a pattern on the wall and ther","I'm just listening to the sound, and this sound is made up of many different things and it is just this. And it's all one thing, but it is composed of","the voice is coming out of my head, it's coming out of somewhere, and it's coming through the ear drum. It's not coming through the head but the ear d","so I'm doing this again. It's like a feedback loop, the same thing is happening over and over again. It sounds like a kind of music, and I think it's ","I'm here, I'm here. I'm here in this room, and I'm here with myself. And I'm here listening to the sound of my breathing. And I feel as if the","you know, a dream, and then I started thinking about something else and then I went back into the dream. So I thought I was in a room and there was a ","a tree, a tree that has fallen and is on its side and the trunk is there, and the branches are on its side, but there's no root anymore, there's no wa","[I'm thinking] the grass is green, the sky is blue... that's blue-green, it's got a bit of purple to it too, because the purple is the end of the sky","this is a lovely sound that has just started. It's just a sound, it's not a thought yet. It's the beginning of the thought, but it's not finished. It'","I'm feeling kind of sad right now, and I'm looking up at the ceiling and I'm seeing a whole bunch of light, and I see some kind of color that I'm goin","what's that? What's that? Where did that come from?... what's that? what's that.... what's that...what's that.... that's something... that's something","[murmurs of music]...a lot of words...words, words, words...[murmur of words]...a black bird...[murmuring]...a...[","and then the second one is the same, and the third one is the same but the second one's a little more, and the second one has the third one in it, and","a cat in the room. A cat on the bed, a cat on the pillow. The cat is a girl. A cat with a skirt and a cat with a shirt. A cat is a","so we have a good idea of what the world's gonna be like. We are gonna have a good time. We're gonna have a time when we can. It's gonna be a good tim","I'm really sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I have a thought about this. There's a book called 'The Giver' and I heard that the characters ha","this is a dream. There is no sound, this is a silent movie... I am in the room, I can feel my body, I can move it and I can feel the room I am","I've got a vision, I'm starting to see something. It's like looking through a kaleidoscope, with colored glass. I see some very light and some very da","And you are going to go and see her and ask her out for the first time. And you go up to her. And you say hello. And you smile and you go up, and you","it's not even the body that is the thing that is. It's not even my body, it's not just the body. There is something that is always there. And I think ","and the sky was all blue and...all blue and I felt the colors were vibrating with me and the colors were...and the colors were like little...like litt","the word that came into mind was 'reality', and then I thought about 'reality' as something that we construct from our senses, and the senses themselv","all of these images are like a film. I can go to the beginning of a film, I can go from the beginning of the film, I am at the end of it, and then it","the more I think about the project, the less I can think about the music, I just have to have this experience, I can't control it. It's not like a com","I know this is a dream. This is my body. This is the body that is in front of me. There is a lot of different layers, I know there is, and they are al","I was a little girl... I was playing, and the snow was falling and I was trying to go faster, and then I realized that I was just making up the snow. ","the space is white and greenish, and then a big square opens up in the middle. It's a kind of cube or pyramid, and it is going up, up and up. I can","There was a field that went on forever, it was the colour of light, with all the colours, and there was a circle in the centre, that was a doorway to ","I'm standing in my house. I have a garden outside and a table in the middle of the garden, and the whole thing is in the shade of a tree, with a water","my brain is making a shape with my legs. My legs are making a shape. It is a cube shape, a square shape. It's like a cube in a box, except that the cu","[t]here's something [in the room]. ... I've got [to] make a decision, and then it'll [go away]. ... It's going away [in a circle].","I know that they're going to be very cold, and the snow and the ice on the roads will be really dangerous. And the roads will look very much like they","And he's kind of like that. He's like a little light and a little dark in him and he's got a light and a dark inside him and that's how they are and t","the door's opened and now its closed again and it's snowing now. I can see outside. I can hear my music and my music's really loud. And it's like all ","and I'm running down a tunnel and there's a giant, and I'm trying to get out and it's going to crush me and I'm gonna get squished. And it's going dow","and I think of this little girl, with this little pink hat, she's wearing this pink hat and her face is blue. She's running towards me, and I see the ","the plane. I see the plane. It's going around and it's going up and down. There's people on it. There's a girl. There's the plane going down. She's","... (snoring) (snoring) ... (snapping) (snapping, snapping, snapping, cracking) (snapping, cracking) (whimpering) (sniff) (","what kind of stuff is there on the inside?... (pause)... Well, it's like a wall, with all the little bits of stuff on the inside, and they're all conn","and I'm thinking I wonder, what if we go up to the ceiling and pull it down? What if we pull it down into our bodies, so it's just like, the ceiling i","a bunch of words, words, words. A bunch of words and a bunch of numbers, like 112, 2, 12, a 2, and then the","a picture of the shape of an 'o'. There is a picture of an 'M' at the bottom of it, the whole shape is an 'o' with an 'M' in the","and I'm gonna take it back here... it's not even... it's just like a stick... and it's not... and it kinda... it's kinda... like a... like a stick","but now the white part of it and it looks like it's floating off like a paper bag but it looks like a...paper bag...it's a little bit like a...it's li","[like an] old book with an orange cover with words on it. [Sigh] I don't know, [Sigh], like an old book with words on the cover. [S","I'm...I'm...i'm a...a...a...i'm going to...i'm trying to do...i'm...i'm like a...i'm... i'm...i","my face. It's got a funny look on it. And the shape of my ear. I'm wearing a funny hat. It's green. A green hat. A green sun hat. And","I'm thinking about a sandwich. It's made up of two slices of bread and a lot of stuff on the middle. It's like a sandwich, because it's like, made of ","that's it. ...I can see the thing with the eyes. I can see it. It's like a cat. It's got three eyes and it's got a face. ...no it","and this is what I'm thinking of now. I'm thinking about my dad. I can hear him. He's saying, 'what is that, what is that? I'm going to get","[I am] 14, I'm not 12 anymore, I'm 14. And I am [holding the stick] and I'm...I'm... I'm...","a big tree. ... the sound of the wind. ... I'm so tired. ... I'll go back to sleep. ... I can't see my foot. ... I saw my foot. ...","I know you love me. ... I just had this idea to make this all the way to the end. ... And then it will be finished. And you can be finished, too. ... ","then the smell of roses. I remember that scent... and I'm so close to it, but not close enough. Then the water. I remember the water... and I feel the","[a]nything... anything can go, nothing's sacred, no boundaries, no limits, no limits to the mind. [the participant begins to do something]...I feel th","I think my computer is on fire. I think I'm dead, my body is dead. I see it as a green sea. I see all the dead bodies. I feel all my dead memories","a boy's head was in my mouth, he was in a daze. I took him out, he was screaming, and I thought my hands were his throat. I saw him look up to","you see a vision of a little girl, like the one who has a special room in your home. She's on her bed, looking up at you, smiling at you. She's holdin","my little bird, so sad, is asleep in my chest. I stroke her soft head with my hands and she looks at me and sleeps on, but I am afraid I will wake her","I am so tired. I will sleep. I will see your face. I will remember you. I will think about the wind. I will smell the sand. I will feel the sea. I","... the head of a tiny pink piglet. I can see its tiny pink ears and the pink tail that was stuck out of the side of a little white bucket. I see the ","I don't really know...I don't think I do. I don't know. It's weird...what if I do? I don't think so. It's just a dream...or","it's a warm, sunny day in the mountains. It's so pretty! I like it! I like mountains! I like them very much! And there's a really big cloud up in the","you know, that is why I can't get into bed, I'm scared. I'm scared that my head is gonna fall off and I'm gonna fall down and die...no...wait...","the car...and...a man...and...I was trying to get his name...and then I saw him and I saw...it was...was...was...I thought...it was my","I'm gonna be so bored in this place, there's nothing to see... I'm not supposed to do that! But it's just so... well, it's a really strange place and ","[a] little girl with blue hair. I wish I had blue hair. She was really cute. She was laughing. I was laughing too. Then she turned around, and then I ","I wonder if he knows how to do that? [to the cat]. He's trying to hide from me and it's not working and he's smiling, so he knows I'm not really going","it's not your fault it happened, it's not your... fault... it's not... you're not to blame... for anything... for anything that's happened... you're..","and the blue sky and the dark clouds and then the wind and rain and the storm... I love it! The lightening and the thunder and the rain and the wind! ","I'm the kind of person that, you know, doesn't always know how to say what they want to say and the like. I'm a bit shy, I guess. And I've got","the word 'spiders' is the first thing I think of when I hear the word 'fear' ... the spider's a scary thing... I remember how I was 2 or 3","and then I said, I want a tiger, and I didn't think of that until I was a teenager, but I knew I would always want a tiger because they were the most ","And there's a thing that's happened to me that I don't really like to think about, but it happened when I was just little and I don't know why it happ","And I can see myself with the three of us, in the hospital bed, my eyes closed, my head on a pillow, the bandage over my nose, the three of you in fro","a woman who looked like I did when I was a kid...she was about my size and she looked like me...I was ten, eleven, maybe twelve, I don't remember exac","what's he got there?...I've never seen a dog like that before. He's got a big head and his eyes are so big, they're just like the moon! They're like","I was in the bathroom with my parents. It was my last week of kindergarten, and it was the first day of summer, and we were all going to the pool. I w","I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing here. I feel bad. I wish I could be at home, but I can't. I think I'm getting really upset.","I'm so happy today. I know that, right now. I feel so free. I know I can do anything I want to. I can do whatever I want to do. I can go","and then I'd feel better. I'd feel so much better, like everything was better. I feel like I've done so much, and I feel so proud of myself, like I di","I want to ask him... I want to tell him that I love him, but I'm afraid he will leave me... but I'm scared that I might leave him... I just don't know","you're really pretty and I don't want you to die because I love you and I donโ€™t want you to leave me and I want you to stay with me because I love you","I wish I could make you go away, you know. If only for a little while, then you'll forget that I exist. That you love me. I'm so scared I'm gonna die","the one you call out for, the one you see in your dreams and day dreams and can't remember when you wake up because you're scared to face your own dre","what's going on in my head. I can't explain it. I'm trying to put all my thoughts into a book, but I can't. I think it's all gone, and I","I feel as though I've been on a ship...but this time it's sinking. I can hear the cries of people who have drowned...I feel the waves crashing...I'm d","[i]n the past, I used to... [h]ave a lot of problems, like... [s]tay in a... [t]ime when you're... [g","I'm sure I'll see them again. I just know it. But if I try to think of them, it's like the old pains come back. I've always hated that place, I","it's like there are no words... I don't know what it's like... it's just like I'm... I'm floating... like I'm a... a... a little bird, I","I've always wondered, if you were to meet me and I said I loved you, would you know that it was true, or would you think, you know, that I was trying ","my body was starting to move and my mind was not even a little bit in control of what my body was doing. I don't know why but I just felt like I wante","And I'm going to kill you, I'm going kill you, and I'm going kill your baby, you're going to be so happy to die. I'm going kill both you and the","I've always been fascinated with you. You're so beautiful. And I'm just so stupid. I could've gotten you when I first met you. I could have killed you","but there are no rules. You don't have to say anything. It doesn't matter. Just say what comes to your mind, and you'll know how much you can trust me","but I was thinking, that I have no idea how the other side thinks...I have no idea...I have to be careful because I'm not sure what to do...I'm scared","You don't have to feel bad for what happened, but you can't hide from what you've done. You don't even know what you're doing, you know that? So you c","I don't want to think of her any more. I'm sick of thinking of her. I want to forget her. I'm trying to forget her and I don't know if I'll be","and I don't want to be there. I don't want it to end. I can't bear the thought of you dying in my arms. I know you are dead. I know it's","I don't know why you didn't say that I loved you in the beginning. I knew I did. I just didn't know how to say it. I always thought I'd never be able","the black man was a man, a human being, like all of us. Like the one that sits on my couch and asks me for help, like the one that has been murdered a","It's a good idea to think about these things. We should all think about these things before we start to do anything. I wish I were younger again so I ","I want to believe that you're a good person. You've tried to tell me so before. You've said you love me. You've told me you think you love me too. You","And I've been thinking about all this for a long time. I never thought I'd have to make a choice. I thought that I could live my life as I chose. I al","And when I die...I hope that you'll take me to bed and tell me what you really think. When I die, I want you to come back to me and I'll give you all","you were saying... I don't know why you did that to me. I don't love you, I didn't want you. I wanted that, the very thing I thought I needed most...","I was born with this disease and it is in my blood and I have to die. I have to go and kill someone so I don't die. I just have to kill someone and th","You should be nice to me. I don't care. I'll never let you down. I don't need to. I'm the only one. I'm only one. You've never hurt","and she said, 'It's alright,' and I said, 'I'm sorry,' and she said, 'No, it's ok, we're in the same boat,' and I know that","the only thing I could do was to be a part of the team. I would have to get on with them... I would have had to leave my father. I would... I would...","I know you know all about it and I know you were one of the ones who took them from the floor and put them in a basket and then you put them on a bed ","You'll be late for the meeting again. They'll get your record of how many times you were late, and then they'll put you on probation. You'll lose your","I have to get through to him. I have to get him to listen to me. He has to know what I'm trying to do here. It's a long time since he has been a"],["and this is the most wonderful thing that is, the fact that the universe is composed of a conscious being, who has the ability to choose between all t","so the things that have happened are real, but the things that are going to happen haven't happened yet so they're not real. They're possibilities. It","the right hand of the father. I'm in a right hand of a father. I could be in a right of a mother's left hand. That's the right hand. I've got to","and she just says: 'Oh, I've been a fool!' and then she says 'Oh, why did I ever come back to you? Why did I ever leave you?'...and I","the dark cloud of death and disease that I'm seeing on TV, on the papers, that is beginning to enclose my family's life, and it's beginning to enclose","and the little baby with the little white hat is coming down the street... the little baby in the little white cap. I am going to give you a little wh","I thought, I think you should be the one to pick a date. I think you are the only one I could trust. It's like, you know, a date like you would take t","I see my hands on the arm of the chair, I see the floor. I am on the floor. Oh, I am on top of you. I'm on top of the floor. No","I feel like a fool. I feel like an idiot. I feel that I am a complete fool. And I do. I feel foolish. I feel as if I have been betrayed. I feel","I'll get all this stuff I need, all the tools, all the stuff I need to start this thing, and then I'll go back and I'll come to you again. That's the","and then he saw the stars, and he felt the earth again, and he heard the birds singing in the trees and the winds blowing through the trees. And he kn","There were so many of them, and they were so large that they looked like giants, but they had to be giants because they were so huge. They were a kind","I feel like a prisoner, and I know that you're here and you're watching, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't think. I don't want to","I see all the faces in the clouds. I can see them so well, they are in a line. I am watching them, and I want to go back into the past again, but ther","but I was just thinking, because there is a way that you could have had an explanation for the thing that has happened, and I just want to say it to y","[a]s I think, I realize that my whole life, everything that I have ever thought, every single thought that I have, every single memory that I have and","I was thinking about the light of the sun, and about the sun, the source of life on the earth, and how the light of it would have to be sent to the su","in my hand I have a weapon and I want to strike down all this evil. This weapon is a sword, the blade is the word, the hilt is the letter. I can use t","you can't have an answer that's not true. And when you want a thing, and you get it, it's not necessarily a true answer, it's a false answer. You get ","but no, no, no. There is no death, and nothing is destroyed. Everything is reborn. You are the sun, the stars, the wind, the light, the thunder, the","and I could make a mistake, I could be wrong. I could be making the whole thing up, or just making a part of it up...or I could be doing something els","I was with a man, in a city...but in this city there was no air. And I wanted to have air. And to breathe...and then I looked around me. And there wer","a fire, a fire, ah, a fire; it burned down, the whole world. I see the great fire, the world burned down, all the land was gone, and in the sky","a dark spot at the bottom of the lake, where the lake goes out to the sea. That's where the little child fell, and died, and is turned to stone and no","and now it's the same...it's the same as yesterday, only different and the same at the same time...I am a piece of wood and a piece of iron. And that'","I am afraid of the sun. It is very large. It has a hole in the middle. I do not know what is in the hole. I want to know. I want to go to","and that I was... in the... in... in the ... I can't tell you what it is... I don't know what it is. That was... it was like a tunnel. It","but I've always been afraid of the dark. The darkness of the dark itself is so dreadful that if I was left alone in a dark room I'd go mad. I suppose ","And then a giant man comes from nowhere, and he opens the door. And then it's dark, and then it's bright, and then I'm back here, and then there's a b","and that's what it was doing, it was...it was...it...I was in that place, I was in that...the thing that I was in, I was trying to get away","I remember all the memories of my life as they happen. They are all connected in my mind. I remember them all. I remember the first day I saw you and ","the way that your body feels. The way you feel about yourself. The way your mind works. The way things go through your head. The way the world works. ","The air is heavy with the sounds of the universe and the tenuous light of a single star shines in through the cracks of the walls, through which the v","and the word 'star', I think of a star, and it's shining and it's there, and it's burning. It's burning and it's hot, but it's also cold.","then, then the sun will go out in a moment, and then all the stars will go out and it will be black and cold and then there will be no more sun and no","I just can't do this, this thing, the thing that is happening, I have to get out of here. I can't do it. I can't take it anymore. I can't","And then there was no longer the one in my body and the other, in the other dimension... There was only the one that was the one in the other and the ","and then I was looking down at the world, and I was looking at the earth, and I realized that it was like the moon, and that it was just a reflection ","the number of thoughts that you have, is really equal to the number of atoms in the universe. If you stop thinking for 10 minutes, or even just one se","a tree of life, and a tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and the tree of life was in the middle of the garden, and the earth was in the middle of","we are now going to begin the beginning of the beginning of this great new world. This great new world will be the one in which all human beings, all ","the stars, the stars, the light, light, light; they have light, the stars have light, light from the stars is light; we are light; all beings are ligh","I just now... I'm seeing something, a little bit of the world, of the Universe. I'm seeing it like it really is, and I'm just thinking that it's beaut","it's like a long river. Like the river Nile. And there's so much water, you can't see it all at once. So many people living in the water. And it's not","the earth is round and has a diameter of 12,742 kilometers, or 7,926 miles. If one were to fly over the equator, going from east","And so there's nothing really in the sky except for the blue of the sky itself and the red of the sunset. And I see the sky. I see the sun. And I am t","we've been talking about how the human body works... the human body has a structure in which it can have its own language... it can express itself... ","then there's the way of the sun, then there's another way, the way of light, of the light of light. I can't find it, I can't locate it, the way","It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility. There is no responsibility, there is nothing we have to be responsible for. Nothing in the world is res","I feel like I'm in a dream. There's so much I don't understand. I wish that I could wake up. I wish I could remember. But I don't, and I don","what do you mean you have no name?... that's how it is?... No!... it's not just a question of not having a name. The name is the essence... it's","and then, I think that there must be another world...that is the same as ours...just without the concept of good and evil...and that is the true unive","and what can be understood of what I speak. I understand myself as the material of the universe; I am its very substance, and the universe is my own m","that the number of human beings is now sufficient to populate the entire universe, which means that every single one of them is a tiny fraction of all","it is the first time I have ever thought about it. It's almost like I have been asleep. It's like I have a memory of my own memory of what I have thou","I would like to understand this world in the language that I understand this world...I am thinking in a language of light and I would like to see in t","I have this very strong sense that there are no objects but that what we are, is not objects, but is a field of consciousness. ... You know that your ","I see this... the head... a big head... the head is big... and then, in the middle of it is the consciousness... that consciousness is a lot like... w","I feel some sort of electric impulse from the head. I'm trying to describe what I see in terms of colors. I'm seeing a pattern, and I'm trying to reme","this is a beautiful day. This is the time of a beautiful day...when the sun is at its peak, when it is most beautiful, when it shines most brightly an","And I thought, the whole universe is like the human brain, and the human brain is like the whole universe. And the whole universe, and the universe is","This is a part of my thinking, this is a part of it, which is very clear, which is an image. But there is no language to say this, because the languag","It was, actually, not an image that came up, it was just a thought. And it was the thought, as if I am watching the universe as it happens and I can j","and I can see that the 12 is also a 48. That 12, which I see as a 6, is a 12 which is a 48","this is the first time that I am here. This is the first moment. The first time I am here, is now. Now, I am here because I am. I am because I am","myself, it is the mind of God, which has been projected on a screen. I do not know how I have come to know this. My mind has a tendency to move away f","then you will be in a position to see the meaning of the Universe as an activity. And so it will be you who will have the meaning of your life, but yo","there is a time when the heart can be open to the experience of a spiritual existence. It is not just the existence of a God. But rather the experienc","[s]uddenly it is as if the Universe is saying to me: 'I love you.' There is the sensation of an opening in me that allows me to receive a new love. Th","I see the sound, I see the color. I see the sound of the color. The sound of color is the color itself. It is the very essence of the color that it is","and I'm so tired of it all, because I don't want to have to work with it. I don't really want to have anything to do with it. But that's not how the","the fact that when I say I am the spirit, I am the God, I am love, and I am the mind, that the mind is not a physical thing. And the fact that the","infinite. The whole is more than the sum of its parts... the whole is more beautiful than the sum, for the sum is just a sum, the sum is in the whole.","I would like to know the structure of the mind and of the universe, and what the nature of being is. I would like to have a deeper insight into the na","a sense of peace. This is what I am looking for. That is, a sense of peace, not an absence of tension, but a sense of calmness. That is a sense of pre","Now the memory of a past experience comes to me. It's like an impression of the whole experience as a past experience, and in the past experience, I r","Now the thought has become a 'momentary' thought. It's a memory of a thought. The thought is not 'here and now,' it's a momentary thought. There is th","I can hear myself now as I am saying it, and it feels like I have a second set of ears. The first is what I feel inside and the other is my actual hea","this is something that is not so easily seen, the way the brain works, because it's a physical process. When you see something you do not see it in a ","you have to start the conversation with a word, you have to start by saying something and the moment you start to say something the world is already c","the Earth was not a part of the world, but rather an integral part of the universe, that is the Universe was an organism, a living organism, that is a","I'm not going to talk about the individual, but the individual in the world, as I understand it, is a unity of a body and a mind, a physical body and ","I think I am the one thing that is permanent, I am the thing that is never going anywhere. All the rest is transitory, and all the transitory is in me","you are looking at the universe as you perceive it. You are seeing the universe as it is. And you are also looking at yourself as you perceive yoursel","I can see the image of a hand coming into the room, and the hand is not just a hand, it is my hand. This hand is made of light, and it is moving in a","I am on a journey to my place of birth. I am travelling with a group of people. I am not conscious of the group. I do not know my place of origin. I d","And this is my task in this life. I have to do something here. I cannot just be a spectator, I have to be active, I have to realize myself as a being ","I will soon be dead, and I am glad to know that I shall not die without having done my best to bring about the end of history, and the perfection of t","this is a good question. Why should the body be such a thing? What is its point? There is a reason that it exists. ... If I am not a body, I am a spir","It was not a question of what happens, but of what is happening. You have to say that the mind has a tendency to go to the present moment. The mind ha","I am not the one who is here, but only the thought, or the perception of the thought, that is here. The body, the sense organs and so forth are not he","and in the last century we've also seen the emergence of science as the main authority, and of the notion that science is the most objective human act","Now I think of something I used to have a dream about as a child. I remember being in this big field, and this enormous mountain is behind me, and I'm","I was thinking that a lot of the material I had studied, such as the teachings of Jesus and the Hindu teachings about the nature of the body, that it ","I have a picture of the human brain in my head right now. It's not a picture of a thing I can see with my eyes, but it's something that I can perceive","I'm trying to remember my childhood, because that was the time when my own body, my own being was being constructed. When my being was being built out","And now I remember that, when I was a child, I had the image of a big black man with a big hat who used to come to the house with a big white stick an","we've been here before. There's a little book. The book of the dead. The Book of the Dead. Well, that was the name that the ancient Egyptians gave the","The word 'divine', yes, it is a very good word. The word 'divinity' is also a good word, and it is a much better word, and also it is a","I don't have a body anymore, and it's in here. I'm just a voice in my head. And it's funny, because I used to think that that was the whole point of","and so I know what it is. That I am going to be a woman. And I know it's true, and it's as much a matter of fact as if it were the fact that","... and that's just the same as the mind, as the soul. And that's just as pure as the soul itself. And that's the real I; I don't know whether I am","and now this is a form of the beginning and the end of a process, and therefore it is a kind of an eternal, a form which is eternal and which is a for","and so I think of my friend who is now in the middle of death, who is dying. I think of his death as an absolute and an end of the possibility of his ","And this is all my world, this is it, all I see, this is all I know. I cannot tell the difference between this, this reality, and the other worlds I c","And I have this feeling of something that I'm a part of something, that I'm connected, to a larger thing, but that's the way I experience the universe","It's all the time coming from inside the mind, coming from inside. It's a lot of noise, a lot of images and sound and movement and sensation. It's not","And we are already in the realm of the imaginary, in the realm of imagination... And then I become aware that the things which are passing through my ","it is the most important thing to understand that what is happening in your consciousness is in fact the process of the universe. Everything you exper","so the idea is to follow this process without any interruption, without any analysis, without any intention of recording it. If one of the senses, one","I feel like I'm just walking through this world and I can't really see much of what is going on, and I'm very aware of what's happening. I'm aware of ","my eyes are closed and I don't think I've ever noticed the word 'I' before. The 'I' comes into my awareness just as I start to notice a feeling of pre","and that's a part of my being that is more than my body. It's in a sense a spiritual being that is already here, it's already in my body. My body is a","I am becoming aware of a place and I am becoming aware of the fact that there is a space where I am becoming conscious of the presence of the place wh","the second moment that you think a thought, you are in the presence of that thought, and you are in relationship to that thought. You are in a relatio","the moment that one becomes aware of this awareness of the moment. One is in the present moment, and then one can say, 'I am aware that I am in the pr","[I'm] seeing things that look like clouds, or I'm seeing shapes and colours and shapes and colours, and it's a different way of perceiving the world, ","the color green is very very rich, it's like a very deep sea, I know, it's not the surface of the water, I think it's the depth of the water and it's","a few minutes later, a piece of information from my brain, it has come in from an outside source. It has been in my consciousness for quite a while, a","that's the other thing, like, if you're seeing the world as if it were a dream, then all these other things that are happening at the same time are al","you know, and I'm trying to think, like, what is that really doing for you? What does it really mean, you know? How does it change the way I experienc","it's not very easy to have an experience of being conscious. I find I can't think of something, I don't really want to think of something. I mean, it'","I'm in a state of unconsciousness and I'm observing myself from outside, watching the process of my thoughts and emotions. I notice the existence of a","it's kind of like a strange feeling, like a strange, like a sensation or a feeling, of like a wave of feeling that just sort of takes over and kind of","it is like I have this moment where I have to keep quiet. It's almost like I'm in a dark room, but not quite. I have to switch off this kind of noise ","and I am thinking about the different parts of the body, and I'm noticing that there is a constant flow of energy or information going through the bod","and the words come out of me without being filtered. I'm not aware that this is a thought. I'm aware that these words are coming out of me, but it doe","and in that moment of thinking, you can access the future... in a very real sense. And so, we have to consider that the future is always there. But th","And it's the same thing with this very slow time...I'm also just able to sense, if you like, a much more subtle or deeper, almost a sub-conscious proc","my head was moving as I thought of the sky, and the sky and the sun and the earth and the sea and the ocean and the clouds and the atmosphere and all ","what's happening here? I'm not thinking about anything. I don't know what's happening, and I don't feel a difference. I see, I know, but there's no di","there was a problem, the problem is that I'm thinking about the problem, and I'm not thinking about the solution. So, the problem and the solution are","this is very interesting because the sensations are so subtle, so intricate that it is almost impossible to know whether they are coming from the brai","[I'm thinking about] how we would create a new world, and [how we would] make it better than our current one. So [how] does one create a new civilizat","a little bit like the sensation of time as it's passing, and when I say I'm in this space, it's really, I'm in the present. That's all it is, there","I feel that it would be good for my mind to be completely quiet, but it is not completely quiet. But I can hear the thoughts, the words that are comin","we are living in a world where we don't have to go out of our bodies to get information. ... We are living in the same world with the same environment","I am looking at the sky. I am looking at my eyes. I am feeling my body and my mind. I am experiencing my body. I am a body, and I am experiencing that","I'm doing it for a purpose. I'm doing it so that it can come out, and that's why I'm here. So I can see it, and I can experience it. I","and I have a feeling that the idea of the sun, of the solar system, and the universe and life are related to the idea of a wheel. And I can feel that ","[i]t's not just that my eyes are closed, it's that my head is not connected to anything. There is an object inside my head, it's not connected to my b","and I want to give them [the people] something that will make them happy and comfortable and joyful, and that is, of course, the first part, and that'","the visualized object was a spherical, translucent sphere in the center of the room. I saw the sphere and realized it was transparent, and that I was ","The brain is like a computer. It receives information from the external environment, processes it, and acts on it. It is a feedback system that contro","I was just looking at the word 'happiness' and thinking about this thing I learned once, which was that the word 'happy' has the same number of letter","we have two things that we know exist. We know we exist. We have a body that is made of atoms. We have another thing that we know exists: the world ou","now that we are getting on to the end of our little session of this experiment, I'd like you to turn your attention to some part of the experiment, in","Now I am looking at my brain. It is in the form of a tube. At the end is a brain stem that is the source of the consciousness. The brain stem is made ","the cat that I saw last night ... it's the first time I'm thinking about this thing... this is a little bit of a problem ... it's like a small piece o","I've been thinking about the [end of] the session. I'd like to talk about how that would have worked for me if I had been able to get to the state of ","this is a problem that is kind of the same. The reason is the reason that I'm looking at the same problem. The reason that the problem is similar is t","I'll go through a lot of work to find out what works for me. ... I have a lot of faith that a lot of what I'm doing is the right thing, but there is s","I can just imagine a situation where the group of people might be together and they have an understanding that some of the things that are happening a","and what we were seeing is a lot of the same kinds of problems that I see in the real world of software development. Where teams get in the wrong dire","I am thinking about the fact that there's been a lot of research recently about the effects of the placebo in medicine. The placebo in medicine is def","so I'm a little bit disappointed because I expected that I would see some better outcomes for those. But you know, I think that they are much better t","I am working on a project right now in my research group that I'm very excited about. It's about the role of the gut microbiome in regulating immune r","I don't know, I'm not sure about that, I think the model is not entirely correct, I don't think it is, I don't know if we can really use the model,","So I thought about this, it's very hard to, you know, to distinguish a machine learning from a human learning. Like I think, I mean, as a machine lear","I have an idea that if we use these as a sort of an intermediate platform for learning, then we can learn to be more aware of the thought process that","and I'm just thinking, we need to get rid of the whole notion that the market's going to work itself out. You have to be a market designer in order fo","so there's a lot of people in the industry, we call them techies. They know that what they are doing is very important to the economy of the United St","we have some idea of how long we should be able to live. I mean, I think that the average person is going to be able to live, like, 90 years and the n","and then the second, the second phase is to create the artificial intelligence to be a complete and independent artificial intelligence and then to ma","my name is (name deleted), and I'm an atheist. I think there's no God. But there's no other way to explain what we experience in our life that there i","I have a problem. I have a problem in this area, and I want to solve the problem. I know that it's an important problem. But what I don't know is how ","the fact that you're doing this now, that you are engaging in this activity, that you're studying a phenomenon that's called spontaneous thought, I th","it seems like, that's actually the reason why I don't have any free time, it's because I have many things to do, right, and many things to think, but ","and I'll need to write something. I need to write a letter to my mom and then send it to her and say that I've decided to switch and then explain why.","so it was just that the only thing I know is that there's no good way to deal with the system. You know, I have to admit, there's a good way to deal. ","so, yeah, I just think that the bigger picture of it, you know, so if you have a big picture of the world, it's not just your personal interactions, b","this is a thought and we can start with that thought, that we have a relationship with another human being, and I have to create something for the ben","so I think this is a case where we've got an open society that has to make all sorts of choices and trade-offs in how to get their various policy prio","I know this is not a perfect system, I can't just say that this is what is in the mind of the average voter and I don't know what the mind of the aver","I think that is a great question to answer, especially since I'm sure that there are a lot of different ways that we could analyze a set of data to dr","I was looking at the book, and I thought about the kind of people who are able to do this work, the kind of backgrounds they have, the kind of experti","And so you've got an account. I don't know exactly how you're doing it. But it seems like the first thing is you've got a group of individuals that ar","I am looking at the list of what is my new and improved list of how we can use technology to do a better job of identifying and tracking all these thr","we want to figure out some kind of an approach to how do we think about a question, how do we measure the kind of different ways that we think about i","so I am trying to figure out how to get the machine to work for me, and that's really a very interesting problem. That's a very interesting, complex p","I can see the [new] model right now. And what I'm also trying to do is to say, we've got this kind of data, and I want to make this more effective.","this is not a simple random process. I don't know if this is going to be useful, but I think that it's interesting because we could imagine that maybe","So you see, what is my goal for my life? What are the values that are important for me, that I need to fulfill? There are two aspects: one is the goal","you know, it's a little bit frustrating to be able to look at the data and see patterns and relationships between different dimensions, but then when ","and also I think it's kind of interesting, too, because the problem that you've described is in my view is really very central in a way, so we know th","okay so like I said, I don't know if it's a problem, but if it is a problem, then I would need to find the right thing to do, but it seems like it","I don't want to take too much of your time and I don't think that's what I want from you. I have a pretty high level of anxiety around this topic. So,","that's the first thing that comes to my mind, that's what I am trying to figure out, I'm trying to figure what's the best way to make a decision, so, ","I remember this little bit that I wrote to myself, something to the effect of, I was looking forward to this day and I've been putting it off. It's be","and we also know that for example in the case of the water and the air, that they are going to be at a much greater expense than they've been historic","I just talked to my friend today, and they're worried about a lot of the same things I'm worried about, that we have the same goals, that we just want","my thoughts on how to take action in terms of the world right now, the world that I think is in the midst of the great transformation, the great trans","I think you're wrong. I think that what you're talking about is a real threat. I think the most effective way to get at a problem is by looking at the","you know, like, I want to be able to use my body, but at the same time I want to have a brain and an ideology that is that is a global citizen. I'm ve","[and] the way in which we build and communicate with each other. There's a way of thinking that I learned when I was young in college, which is that w","and if we start, if you start with a, with a small, you know, and, and you know, like a, like a small, like a community, and then you scale it","I have an idea. We are dealing with a data set of a million things, each of them is associated with a thousand things, each of those things is associa","I'm going to have to see some of the people who have been involved, in particular, with some of these projects that were, in some sense, very good and","we're gonna do this in an actual, like in real time, so it's gonna be very different than what we're doing here right now. So, we'll see what comes up","And now you see a different part of the brain, which is the insular cortex, and here we have this visualization of the brain on the left, which is an ","I've been trying to figure out how to do a project on a big topic. And this project was the only one that I thought of that was big enough, because I ","a lot of things are going on and I want to go through the things that are going on right now and that's part of what I've been looking into in the las","and the reason why we've been talking about it is because we had a discussion in the department a couple of months ago and I can't remember whether th","it's not that I think that it would be a problem to do that because we have all the resources, I'm not really saying that it is a problem to build it ","the very fact that we have such a big number of people is not necessarily an advantage. We know that it has some advantages, but on the other hand, it","It is the first time we have ever met and there are 2 people in this room, but I think it is more like 2 people from 2 countries that are talking. I t","I can see some of those, I can see the beginning of some of these, but I'm going to see what is going to happen with the others. I'm going to try to h","and I have a list, a list of all of the different ways that you can implement this solution in the environment of an organization. The first is, well,","I am looking for a way to automate the creation of the default context in a web application that allows the user to customize it to their needs. This ","I think the first step is to make the people that are directly responsible for the execution, for the building of this new system, the first line, the","okay, so, I don't think there's a good way to do this that will work on all the problems that are being faced in the field, but I think that there are","and it's like that, like, um, well, yeah, but yeah, so, so that's that. And then the next thing is, like, and then, and then you have","that's it, that's it, okay, I can tell you what it is, it's a kind of, like a kind of a, an abstract idea, I mean, I, I","the last time I was at home, I was in my bedroom. And I just sat down on my desk, and I was just like, you know, like, and then I was just trying","so i i i i have a a a a company, a company of about 8 people, and uh it's a small team, like a 10-person team, and we're working","I'm listening to this audio of you talking, and I'm listening to a podcast of you talking in the middle of this audio, so it's like I'm listening in o","you know you just don't really understand how we're... how the whole system works. You know you're just... you're just kinda like a user and you just ","I feel very safe here. This is a safe place for me. This is where I'm going to do my research and it's going to be safe here. It's a safe place. I","So I think I have the answer for this. It's not the best answer for the person. But it's probably the answer that is going to be the least disruptive.","so, the first thing I wanted to say is that we're getting quite good at this right now. Like, there's a lot of things that we're learning how to do th","the thought I had when I first started looking at this, was, well, how does this thing, this kind of model, how does it apply to the actual practice o","you can go to the other side of the brain, I think, where it's more active, it's more connected to the sensory system. You don't want to be just a lit","I feel like I'm in a desert or something, and I'm looking at a landscape, but it's not really looking at a specific landscape. It's just like, there a","I've been in the process of doing this for about three and a half days now, so I've had a bit of a learning curve and I think I've got some of the bet","that's great. ... it's a great experience, but at the same time, I was curious if I can try and get my hands dirty and actually make some changes, som","I don't know how to say this. It's just a feeling of like, I feel like I'm being pulled in a lot of different directions, but like, I'm not sure why I","and so, my, I really need to get my life back in order and just sort of get the routine down. I've been, I've been procrastinating, and it's been real","this is how I was able to sort out this project, so that it would actually be really easy for me to do. I'm using something called an airtable to mana","I'm looking at my hand... And I'm looking... And I've got an idea for... for a way to generate... like... an idea for a way for... for me to generate ","I'm not sure what I was doing here. I'm not sure. I've got an idea. I want to go through the code. I want to see what's going on. I want","you have to... it's a little like how... um, I'm just, I'm thinking about how I'm supposed to... um, this is, it's just sort of an ongoing stream","so my dream was like this, the other day I was in a bar and there was this lady and then I had like this crazy dream that I was in this building and I","like a very large sheet of paper, you can't see the whole of it at once, but you can see it all at once, in a big view, a big panorama, you can see","this is where my face gets up in the air like a balloon, and I'm looking around and seeing all the other balloons like a field. I'm thinking about all","I was thinking about the problem, it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, but then the idea of a hexagon came to mind, because that'","I'm going to see this woman. This woman is wearing a dress. And the dress is just like the dress on this girl here. Yeah, it's just like her. So, mayb","you're really good at math. I like math, it's good. I'm trying to do math. I'm thinking about the math I did earlier. I'm just thinking about a math p","I can see that the old way of thinking is wrong because it's so limited. I have to do a lot of work, it's very difficult. If I do it in my head, it","I don't know why this is important to me, but it is... and I'm not sure if it's important to me... but it is. And I don't know what it is...","we should add that the reason why we don't have a good feeling for the position of the feet is because of the position of our head, because our head i","then the first two are, there's only two points of reference and they're not on the same plane. But the third one, I can tell the direction of it by l","this is a new experiment. And I am supposed to say out loud whatever comes to my mind. And I'm not sure what is going on here. Maybe some kind of thou","that's it, you don't get the number right. I think that's it, I don't think that's right, that's what we're gonna do, and then the question is how","I'm here and I'm talking. I'm saying something. I'm looking at this... I'm looking and seeing. I'm thinking that this is what it is. This is what it's","... the particle that you want to integrate in your own. ... ... And we have a bunch of different particles, like you know, like a particle that is a ","you can imagine the most difficult problem in mathematics is also the simplest, so, that's the kind of thing that's the hardest. And, then there's the","I see a rectangle, the top right corner of the rectangle is (1,0), and the top left corner of the rectangle is (0,1), then, the length of the rectangl","[I]magine the equation. Okay, let's say we have some, let's see, let's take the equation of the two sides. Yeah, we know the right side of the","now i am not sure what i am trying to say. so i think that there are some constraints on the problem i am solving. and so i think the first question i","what you said, what is this? this is... (24 seconds) this is a word... (21 seconds)... a word that is a sequence of letters, (19 seconds)...","that is, I see a cube and I want to rotate it along two of the coordinate axes, and it's in my head and I can't get it to do this and I want it to","and it's going to be a function of the angle of the slope, of the inclination of the slope. It's going to go something like this. If the angle is zero","now, there's an oddity, and this is just a curiosity, but I'm thinking of a mathematical function, and I'm thinking it's going to be a function that i","I'm going to read this again, I think, the number of times I could do this would be infinite. ... and I'm going to draw the line over here. I'm going ","I'm thinking of the sun coming up over the horizon. I know it's supposed to be that way, I mean the sun is rising, so it's coming up over the horizon,","what I'm thinking is the reason why this is a perfect time for me to start talking about these questions because I'm sitting in the middle of this for","So I'm doing a bit of this thing. And it's a very simple thing, right? It's the way you compute the maximum of a set of real numbers. I'm taking the s","It's a sequence of events which is what you're interested in. Well, let's take it very simple: If I were to describe it in a mathematical way, I would","I'm standing in my living room. The room is pretty empty, with a bookshelf and some other stuff. There's a painting of a bird. I look around the room,","oh yeah, that's right. It's been a few days. I was in the middle of a thought, and I looked at the wall. And then the room faded out and it just faded","we were doing that again, we were doing that. No, I don't think so. I'm not sure I've done that. Well, that's the same way I got started. I","a picture in my head of a light, it's not the light itself, it's a picture of a light in my head...it's a picture in my mind. This is the light.","one. three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. zero. zero. one. two. three. zero. five. one. six. eight. one. three.","I'd like to try to think about the problem of the hour by looking at it from different angles and see if some of those different perspectives would he","I see a dark room. And I see a lamp. And I hear a clock ticking. And then I see a ladder. And I'm trying to climb the ladder and I can't. So","The sun comes up at 6:57 am, which means it comes up at a little bit less than 1/12 of a second after 6:43 am, which","what was it we were doing with the plane? Oh, no, that was the other one, this was the one that was falling apart. No, it was the other way round. We ","right, and that's where I'm going to try to do it, and I'm going to use the idea of what's going on in the first place. That's how I got a triangle","It is not so simple, because that was the last digit that I tried to get. And it was a two, and it was a five, and then I have to get the last two.","that's a good point. Let me think about this a second. So it's not a sequence, is it? No, that's not right. A sequence is, for example, if you","in the morning. What was that? What is this? Oh, it's a cube, but what's the value of a cube? It's a square, right? It's the same number","212, 212. Okay, 222, 888. 888, 888 28. 28, 2","and I'm making a 4-dimensional space in a 3-dimensional space. And the 4th dimension, I'm gonna call it t, and the other three dimensions are x, y,","[ 4 ] I'm looking at a table. What kind of table? A table on which I can do some work on, or a table on which there's some objects that I can look","... and this one has a name: John. He's a boy, and he's 8, and he has a very bad cough. His father has to make sure he doesn't get sick","I'll just keep on saying... it's all... it's not... it's a... I can't think of it right now. I'll just keep... I'm going to think of an","a lot of work in the same building. People in the building, they do a lot of things together. But you can't tell when they start doing something. And ","And you have to take a lot of time to write something that is not just a bunch of words that come out of your head. It's like, it's got to have meanin","a bit of a dog, the dog is a little bit bigger, but I don't know, because I can't see it, I don't have any information about it, I can't visualize","and 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 67","1273723260110344768082971110873928771157","a sentence, or the answer to a problem, or some other goal-oriented task. At each stage of the session we would write down a list of the words heard i","10.06.17 I did not see a single 3.17.17 a square 14.01.17 6.03.1","what about the people who want to do it in a week? How many weeks do they need to train before they can do it in that time? Is it linear or exponentia","now, 2259, 2911. So I'm wondering now whether 22, 2, 11, and 29 are the same as","I'm not thinking of anything else. I'm thinking about the number of people who could fit in this room, so that I know how big it is. And I know that i","(512345) 245 is (5234) 234 is (534) (1041) (14)","I wonder what I'm doing? Oh, I'm writing this. I've got to get out of the first box. I wonder why it's so easy for me to write. Is it because","a red ball is moving across the screen, bouncing off of the bottom of the screen, and coming back up again. A green ball is moving around, going aroun","I was thinking, this is a very long time, if I wanted to take some time to draw a line, I could get to the right length by doing this, 1/10th","2+2 is 4, 3+3 is 6, 3.999... is 4 (it's a repeating decimal), 2/3 is a repeating decimal","And I was going to say I don't understand the first term because I can't tell how you're going to make the next step of the graph and I think it's lik","I'm thinking of the numbers one, two, and three. I'm thinking about the letters a and b. I'm trying to think about a triangle with three sides, and al","what? what? what the hell? oh, oh, oh! what? oh! what is this? what the hell is this? I don't know what this is. ... [pause]","It's just one line of poetry. I'm trying to write a poem. The first line is 15 17 32 15. 15 is the length of","and then they'll put on the chair and the man in the chair will think about the word 'chair'. The man in the room will think about words, and then he'","and he goes up, and down, and he goes, up, and he comes up, and, and, the sun, and, what, is, it? Well, what is it,","if I do the math on the other side, the one that is 1/3 of 1/2, which would be 1/6, and then I multiply 1/5","I wonder why I don't see things in the order I think of them...it's like you'd write the numbers in order from smallest to biggest on a piece of paper","it's a lot to say all at once. What's the opposite of 1, 2, 3? I dunno. I'm not sure if that's what it is or not","the plane is not vertical; the angle is 37.38 degrees. This is the angle at which a projectile will travel in the direction of a target to hit that ta","and I look at this one, and it's a little bit wider than the last one, but I'm not sure if it is really wider, because I can't see what the other one ","And I wonder why, what is it about a square, a square root. Why can't I find it? I could do it with a table. I could do a table for each line,","I guess it's like that in a car. If the car is going at 12 miles an hour, then I could say 12, 24, 36,","[huh-huh] ... [huh] ... [13] ... [5] ... [9] ... [3] ... 3 6 ... 3 ... [23","14 times 4 115 128 114 148 484 884 233 885 26","I'll have to have a look at the letters of the alphabet and see if there's a pattern to it. ... I think the alphabet's a good place to start with. If ","what would happen if the water was put in a cylinder with the air inside the cylinder under a pressure of 3 atm and the water was compressed into the ","and a dog - and the dog - I want to draw the dog, the dog - that's a good one! And then I want to look at the dog, and I want to get it","and now this is the figure, with two triangles and a square...and then, if I take the triangle and I rotate it and I put it next to this triangle, thi","And the first time you have the idea of 370 and 390, and then you have 300, and so on, and 900, you know","this is just a rough draft...this is a rough draft....this is the rough draft of a program I was working on, to put out the numbers, the numbers in th","now I can't think of any examples, so I'm going to think of a function I know, for example the sine function. Then the sine of pi/4 is equal to...oh,","I'm thinking about that book that I have lying around somewhere. It's a book of exercises in logic. I'm thinking of the chapter on the formalization o","40, 30, 1/50, 2/10, 50/100, 90/101, 100","we can see that this is the first stage of a graph and we know that the next stage is that the line comes out of the center of the circle and that the","I am watching the back of the head of the person sitting next to me, and I am noticing the two dots of black hair that stick out on either side of the","and it's a function of x of y, that's the function that goes into the x to give y, that gives you the y. And the function of x is... x, x,","the first two is a triangle and a triangle with three sides, and it's two triangles that are congruent, and if you add the sides, and if they're congr","14 311 1141121131144451161171181191110","and that's a point... then you have to get an idea of how many hours it'll take to build this thing... and that'll give you the total time... you star","and you know I can't say, because I don't want to make my life any more complicated. So I'll say I can't do it. I can't really do it. That is","in the last few minutes, I've been thinking about the origin of the earth and the universe. The big bang theory. There are other theories as well, suc","Oh. But now we have a new problem, you see. And it is a question of an order of infinity. Now I'll give you an example. Here is a simple mathematical ","It's a pity that you have to be at school to know the law of the syllogism, because in my opinion, it is not so. If a + b + c = a","The 'm' and the 'k' sounds are quite different: the former is a vowel, the latter is a consonant. I shall illustrate the difference by drawing the fol","and we see that there are three things that we can do to make the total number of ways in which we can go from a to d, the first number being 1 and th","so let's say that we have a 500,000 ton planet. Let's say it's rotating. So if it's rotating, there's a centrifugal force on the","the blue and the red of the water and the sand, and the shape of the water, the shape of a cone, and the blue and red of the sand. But it was blue, be","I have to make sure I get the correct value. Well, I've got here the exact value of this, which is 5/21. I've got to multiply it by 2","oh, I wonder what it would be like to know all of the possible things you could do with any given amount of money, say 100,000 dollars? And you know","The cat is a carnivorous animal, and its digestive system has been adapted for eating meat, with the consequence that the animal is incapable of diges","then I realized that if a child, that's the age of a child, let's say, and that child has a disease, that's a bad disease. The bad disease is the dise","so we just started, that's what you do with these things, you know, we just started to use them, and they are going to come in all sizes, and there ar","now, I'm wondering how many different kinds of fruit can you get in one month. Well, it depends how long they take to grow. Apple trees, they can grow","I can see the man with the camera in the right corner of the frame, and I can see a girl sitting by the tree in the foreground. They're both in the sh","I've seen in my dreams, a kind of garden with a great wall around it; and the wall is high and steep and the ground is clay. I was able to climb on it","I think about how I can do this. The problem is, the problem is that I want to be a good person. And I want to help people. But there are these rules ","but we got the first three numbers. One, two, three. And we're not going to put the next two digits there, we're going to put them there. (He shows th","a friend of mine. Well, she is the wife of the director of the institute for the blind and deaf in the south of France. The director. Well, he is the ","I was thinking that I should like to get to the point where I can put in a word and get something out. So it would be a machine which is going to take","The words, the words, the words: I see them coming. I see them on the screen. I see the words, I see them: I see the words in the words, in the","[a] little boy, who is going to be a doctor, is asked to do a surgery. He has a little girl. She is sick, and he has to remove her uterus, and","I'd like to have a bit of an explanation about the problem of time. Let's begin with the concept of time. How do we perceive time? Well, I can imagine","200,000, and the 201st is a woman who is a member of the British Royal Family... I wonder what she is doing in the house. Is","and then I start thinking about the day I'm going to die, and I'm going to go to a nice funeral and so forth, and I look at the body of my wife, and I","and now I have a funny thought, I have a strange thought. It is very interesting. I know the truth, that I am not a person, I am not alive. But I have","the light of a lamp is a physical phenomenon, but it also is the result of the thought of a person who thinks of the word 'lamp', for instance, or 'el","and this is the point. This is the point of the fact that a man's mind can be described in terms of a complex system, in terms of the complex system, ","And so I must say, that in a certain way, my own system of thought is a system of thought that can only exist in space, it cannot exist in time. It is","And, of course, I don't want to be like the others, because they are all here for a different purpose. That is why I want to do it in my own way, with","And I say 'Now we shall investigate the brain.' ... Then there will be two methods of investigating the brain. ... Now, what is the brain? The brain i","my eyes are open. I'm thinking about how to analyze the contents of consciousness. I know that all of my mental activity is based on the input of exte","you are listening to this and I am thinking about how it came about, that is, what is it about you listening to this that makes me want to think about","[05:31:49] What do you mean by that, 'it is a dream?'...[05:45:56] What are we, then?","and if the energy in the system is not used up in producing an outcome, the energy is lost. For example, a given energy value at the beginning of an o","but what if a particular class of neurons that is a particular part of the brain is somehow set up, like a system, for example, to be able to have a c","And that is a rather simple system and I don't think that it has to be used in the same way that it is used here. If you have a set of elements, which","but the way we have it, the way we work, is that when you have to get some sort of a measure of the same thing, that the only thing you can do is get ","there are various ways to combine numbers and characters, and the fact that you have to specify a font is one of them. The other way is to have the fo","41% is 0.41. And now you can calculate the probability that one of them is 0.93, because that's what you got. 0.5","[crying] the baby, what kind of thing is a baby? It's the thing which is crying. But what kind of a thing is a crying? It's a kind of thing that","I'm going to take the square root of 4 plus 9 to 2/3. Now the square root is 4, right? That's two, times the square root of nine","the next one, it's like a sort of a mixture of these two, so let's start with that one. Let's start with a real simple example, it's just the definiti","but of course, I've got to be the first to know that, so, it's just a matter of time. A very short time. The reason I'm using the word, 'in","It is true, I do know the names of the cities and I know where they are. And they are in a line and I have to travel in order to get from one city to ","you know, if I were to have an experience that I had been able to define in advance, it would be an experience of this kind, I would say that this is ","we had a person who had come here and he had been there before, and he had seen things which had been destroyed. And I, in a sort of dream state, was ","and this, is the...this, this is the...the, this is...the thing I've been working on for the last few days. I was wondering whether it's not possible ","So the last thing I'd say is that the concept of God, if there is a God, is not so much a particular thing as it is a set of characteristics. And if w","this is my personal memory... there is a certain linearity that exists... so if I go backwards from some point, I can go back to a state where there i","it is a set of propositions, not a set of images, propositions that we have to define in order to have a clear idea of what we're trying to say. And s","a little bit of my body that's in a room, it's a body, a little bit of the body of this room that's here, that's there, that's in the room.","[in a particular situation] my head is spinning, I don't know how to think about it. [But] there is a thing that I know, a thing that is not moving, w","[piano] ... (I have just finished playing the last chord) ... ... ... (now I'm going to play the first chord) ... [piano playing] ... ... ... [p","it's not so bad, not so bad... we'll see. I can't be certain what will happen. This is a game. I will try to understand. This is not an experiment.","I see a spiral staircase leading down from the left edge of the screen to a vertical axis running up from the right. The left and right edges are wall","then it's not a vector space because the '0' is not zero in the sense of being an element of V, but the '0' in V is the point at the origin, where","And I wonder, that is what I wonder about, what's the relationship between a particle and its position? Or its momentum? And, and, what's that mean? W","the heart was never a question in physics, because it's not an object, it's something alive. The question, how could this be? This is a question for p","I am not sure what I want to say. I think I am not actually conscious of what I am thinking, so I do not have a verbal representation of what I have i","it is easy to make a mistake, and a mistake is something that doesn't make sense. But to make a mistake is not to go wrong. It is not to fail. To make","you see, we do have an intuitive capacity to measure length, to measure volume, and we do it in a certain way, in a certain kind of units, which are c","it's like a big bowl, and if the bowl is tilted, the contents inside will be different from when it is standing up on its end. Now the problem is that","I remember I have a kind of model of the Earth in which the surface of the Earth is a sphere, and the poles are like the north and the south poles. Th","and I think it's going to be very interesting to try to take these things and do something about them. ... So that's something about it, I guess. Well","And I'm thinking about this, so there's an intersection between two planes and so, so, the intersection is a line. So it's a one-dimensional object. B","and I think the problem is, you know, the whole of this is to find the fundamental constants of Nature, which you could say are the ones that are inva","there's this guy who's walking, and he has no hands. And he's walking on this beach and there's this beach ball lying on the sand. So he starts to pic","(โ€ฆ) this is my name. There's this other name, and there's a number of names and numbers. But then, this is my real name, which is not the one I chose ","The name of the street, the name of the neighborhood, and the name of a city or region, and the name of some country or continent. That would be a rat","a ... a ... a person's ... person's ... their ... their ... I ... I don't know ... I don't ... I don't think ... I don't see ... I don ... I","the word that comes out of my mouth, that word will be like a symbol, will be a symbol. For instance, if I say, I think that you are a bird, then the ","so you can take a half of a quarter, which is an eighth, and so on. Okay, and you can take one half a quarter, or you can take two thirds of one half,","and it's the same with the function of a 220 volts, 50 Hz. mains supply. 220 volt is the amplitude of the voltage; 50 is","and if I take that... let's see what's the first one... A, B, C, D. Let's start with A, let's start with this letter A. I see some","there's this number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11,","so when we were studying about the logarithm, you know, to the power of 10, you know I was very impressed that the power of log 10 was actually 10","the result of 3 3 times 5 equals 15. And 15 times 20, and 20 times 2. 15 times two is 3","the sum of the three terms in the first line of equation 2501 of the book, in the second line, the first term is a multiple of the sum of the squares "],["the way things are...the way things used to be...the way they ought to be...the difference between the way things are and the way they ought to be. Li","so the little girl said 'you know, you ought to be here to tell the story, and we don't want to leave you out. We want you to be a part of the story,","I was in my 10th or 11th grade...I was going to the school play. I was in the school play and I had this friend who was an actor in the","And I remember going to visit my grandparents in California, and I remember going over to see my aunt's house in Los Angeles and she had a huge yard. ","you know, there's this one guy, he's really handsome, he's one of the guys in my class, and he's, like, 18 years old, and we met him","and it's all gone by and, uh, I'm still, I'm just, uh, a little bit sad about it, uh, cause I've been a friend of, of one of","[T]he reason I can't remember anything of this [last class] is because you told me to do it [take notes] and I didn't because I had to listen to some ","I'm thinking of a time when I was a child and my mom had me on my lap, and I was playing with my toys and she had to get out and go to the bathroom, a","and, like, I, I don't know, I don't even think about it, it's like, I guess it's like a really good thing for them to be in a state,","I am happy. I'm going to try to eat something. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I think I want a snack. I think I have a snack at home. It's","a car, I'm driving in the country, I see a dog... I see a road... I see the sky is cloudy. I see a white house, with a red door and a dog","I wonder what it would be like to be a man. ...I wonder what my mum's going to do if I tell her I'm going to do a course in French. I suppose she'll","and I thought I'd have a nice picnic at the park - no, not now, I don't want to go anywhere today. Oh well - tomorrow. But I'm not going to go -","[it's] a picture of a tree. It's a nice picture. It's got a tree and it's got a girl in it. It's not a real nice girl but she's","the train's stopped again. I wish it would start. And then there's a lot of people standing by the platform. There's a man on the platform with a litt","and there I was sitting in a restaurant, and I was reading a book and then I saw a woman coming out of the restaurant with a baby, and the baby was we","and there was the tree, and I was in the garden and I had just got home, and I had forgotten about the cake, but it wasn't too late, it was only half ","I've got to get hold of my camera. I want to take a picture of the garden. It's really beautiful. ... I'll put it in the drawer, just like a picture. ","we're going to go and do the washing, aren't we. Yes, we're going to do the washing. I'd better put my things away. Oh, here's the washing, all","and then he (the man in the black suit) came round again with the newspapers and said, 'Do you want the newspapers?' And I said, 'I don't want any, th","it's all right if you don't do the things, you can still have tea, you can have a piece of chocolate, it's all right, I don't mind, it's ok if","I'd like a nice long shower. There's a little window in my room and it looks out onto the sea, so you can see the sea even if you're in the bathroom. ","I want to have a cup of tea. I want a cup of hot milk. I want to have some more strawberries. I'm hungry. I'll have some cake. I like cake. I","there was this little girl in the kitchen, she was looking out of the window, there was a garden full of daffodils and there was a cat sitting there o","and then a bit of a crocodile... I was making some kind of lunch... I had a little white egg, and a blue egg... and it had a little hole in it... and ","I see the man that's been to the house in the woods before. He's got a long nose and a black beard, and a big black hat and black boots. He's a big ol","well, I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm a bit tired. I've had a pretty heavy day at work today. And I think I'm a bit hungry, but I don","and now I'm going to look at my leg, and I'm going to rub it because it's sore. And I'm going to have to go to bed early because I have to work tomorr","and then I was driving down the road and there was a little girl walking down the sidewalk with her hair in a ponytail and her socks were dirty... and","it was a dream I had the other night. I was at home and my mom was standing in the doorway. I asked her why she wasn't sleeping in the bed next to me.","I'd like to go to the movie this weekend. We have a day off on Saturday, and I'd like to go the movie. I don't know what the movie is yet. I hope","and i think maybe they've moved to a different apartment and they don't live at 970 yet... [pause] ... i'm thinking of the time that we went to the re","you have to give him a name...okay...i'll give him a name..i can't think of a name for him right now...what's his name...well i can't think...","I know where I am! I'm in a place I've never been before. It's a beach! There's a big house with a white top. It's so pretty and white and blue","and now it's the third floor, and I'm trying to see if I can figure out what was the name of the woman that had a baby, and we had to go out and buy a","[it] like a... it's not a... it's a... a... a l... it's like a... a ... [something] that you... like you'd see in... like","I'm on the plane, I'm on the way to...I'm on...I'm in the car, I'm in the...in the...I'm driving to...to the...I","and I guess that was the second part of the experiment. But then I was trying to figure out if I was going to go on a trip in March or if I was just g","the phone rang and I answered it and it said they got the wrong phone number and then I went up to the kitchen and i started thinking about where the ","the lights in the room are out and I'm in my pajamas. I'm not sure why I'm wearing pajamas but they're still on. I'm in the bathroom with my bathrobe","okay. Um, yeah. Oh, my foot. [foot rubbing] What I've been doing today. My feet are kind of hurting. Oh, oh. Well, I guess they're kind","so my cat, I think he's going to sleep for a while, so I'm gonna lay on the floor and read my book. And then, I'm gonna, you know, wash my","I need to find a good song and I'm trying to find a song and I'll just find a song on youtube and then I'll listen to it and then I won't have to list","oh, so if the sun is 100 degrees outside, you could get the ice cream on a stick out there, you could even wear a bathing suit because it's 90 degrees","I'm gonna wash the dishes tonight. And I'm gonna finish my book. And I guess I'm gonna get ready for school tomorrow. And I'll get ready for work afte","there's that word on the list. The first one is 'bloom', which I forgot to write down. And the first letter is a b. And the next one is a g. And","I wonder where we can get the paper to cover this up. The toilet. Bathroom. No. The kitchen. No. ... The living room. I have the remote control here. ","so I'm at a restaurant with my mom and I'm having a burger and the burger was good and then she was like 'What are you going to get next?' And I said ","I'm eating breakfast. My mom and dad and my sister. We're sitting around the kitchen table, and my sister just asked me what's my favorite breakfast. ","[i]t's [a] good... [i]dea for a... [i]r [t]eam... [i]f [we] [i]do [a]","and I want to get to know him better. I want to make him feel comfortable in the kitchen so we can make our own meals together. I want him to be excit","I have a cat at home... I'm not really sure what to make of it... I know I have to keep it healthy, but I'm not sure how to do that... I think I","I was in the bathroom at my parent's house and I was like 'I'm not going to eat the sandwich because it's gross', so I just ate it anyway. And I was l","i'm gonna go on a diet i'm gonna make a plan to lose weight i'm gonna get back into the gym because i need to get healthy i need to be able to do a fe","this is what you need to do to get out of it. I don't know what to do, but i gotta do something. and this is what i do to get me out of it...","I guess I could just make up a story about my dog. Oh, that's not a bad idea. I could say that my dog is named Max and he's really into doggy daycare.","we need to have this house with a shed too. I want to have my dog out there with the cat. I think that the dog is getting tired of the cat. the cat is","a couple of cats on the couch. and we just saw a couple of cats on my mom's couch and they were sitting on a little cat bed in the corner. they were j","and then, and then, I got a book that i read, and it's just this like little one page book, like little books. And it's just like, it's like a little","[T]hings i'm thinking about is [M]ike and [M]arcus and [L]ouis and [M]r. [P]eckham...[i","and then I was like, oh I can't wait to start my new job in a week. And I'm also excited for my birthday coming up this weekend. And then I remembered","so i'm like oh i have this like really really really long list of things i want to do this week and it's like like this and then this and then and the","the worst part is that we still don't know when we're going to get to do any work...if we even get to do work because I don't know if they're going to","just had to stop. Just had to stop because i had like, 200 emails and i just. I just kept. Just keep saying like, 'just delete it, just delete it","I was in a dream again. I don't remember what it was about, but I was in one and then I woke up and then I went to sleep again and then I was in that ","I wonder why we're talking about this at work, why I have to talk about it now. Maybe it's because of that dream, and now it's coming up. I don't want","oh, I have to go to bed early because of work. I haven't gotten any sleep, and I just need to rest. I think I'm gonna take a nap right now. Oh no","I think the question is, why did I think that? That's a good question. That's a great question. That is a really good question. Because I feel like, y","I feel like I have to get some work done, like I'm always saying, I need to get some things done...but I don't know, like, I'm trying to be productive","I feel a bit tense right now. I think I have a lot of stuff on my mind, but I'm going to try to stay focused on what's important. I'm a bit anxious ab","itโ€™s like a puzzle right now...Iโ€™m trying to get these pieces to fit together...and then...Iโ€™m like...oh...okay...I get it...but Iโ€™m also like...","and then I see this bright light and it's like a light show. It's like a rainbow. It's so beautiful. It's a light show and it's so beautiful and it's ","Iโ€™m in my studio and Iโ€™m thinking about how to make a picture. I want to make a painting thatโ€™s abstract. Iโ€™m trying to come up with a good title for ","Iโ€™m feeling really comfortable. I feel like Iโ€™m really relaxed. Itโ€™s a bit like being on the couch with someone. Itโ€™s like thereโ€™s a space to breathe ","and I'm watching, like a mother bird watching her chick or something... and it's just like it's a big moment, but I'm not feeling it... I feel like I'","I have a funny thought just now. Like, the thought of a long time ago where I was on holiday and I had a really lovely lunch. Like a bit like this, bu","it's like when you're at the bottom of a big pile of shit. And then there's a big chunk that comes out. You're just like, 'yeah, this is going to happ","I'm sitting here on my computer. I'm a bit bored. I'm sitting here and thinking about my life and how I'm going to die. I'm thinking about my parents ","I'm looking at a screen, and I'm thinking about my friend. He's not here. He's been gone for a long time. He's in a hospital and he's been there for","I can't do this. I'm going to get a headache and fall asleep and just wake up. I don't think I'm going to do this. [sigh] I don't even","and I just... like I said, I'm trying to figure out how to do this whole thing. I don't know if I'm doing it right or wrong, but like, I'm not","I don't know, you know, the way I feel is, like, I don't know if I'm actually doing anything, you know. I don't really know why I'm here,","my legs feel really numb, I feel like I'm going to fall asleep. I'm having these really bad dreams, where I'm drowning, and I don't want to drown, and","I need to make a coffee. I'm trying to make some kind of a smoothie or something. I don't really know. I'm just going to put some coffee in. It's like","I feel like I'm about to vomit. I'm so angry and I'm just really frustrated. I feel like my body is reacting to my emotions because I'm like so tired ","you know, the first time I had like a cold, like I was a kid like I was 10, and I was like sitting in my room, and I just couldn't breathe.","[Sigh] I don't know, I'm just having a hard time putting myself into it. I'm not a very good person. I don't like to be alone. I don't","my dad and my brother. They both have depression and anxiety. I think the anxiety is coming from my parents and they've made it worse for me. They are","like in the game where it's like, like you're like, you're just, you know, like, you just, it's just, you can't do it, like, like,","and they're like you know, 'Hey, you're like, 'What? This is like, this is so weird.' And I'm just like, 'Yeah, I'm going to do","Iโ€™m trying to think of some movie I watched once where a guy tries to figure out what heโ€™s gonna do for Halloween. Heโ€™s like, โ€˜I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m d","so it's a really cool video that I saw on Instagram a week ago or something like that. I remember it was like a week ago. It was just like a really we","I don't know what to do. It's like it's on my mind all the time. It's really hard. Like if it was like the other day I was like 'oh, what","I was like, I've been feeling really stressed and just, and I don't know. It's been a long week and it's just been, you know, and, and I was just","it's like when you're in a car and you're just like 'yeah' because you know, there's just like you're going like 100 miles an hour on the highway and","this whole idea that, I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore...like I've had like a mental breakdown of my identity and I've been in a, you kn","itโ€™s kind of interesting that I was just thinking about a lot of this stuff because of the fact that Iโ€™ve been going through a breakup with a partner ","it was like we were just in that weird space and just like you know everything is going on but you're like not processing it or you're just like what ","I feel so angry and sad about my friend leaving, but I'm also happy that we're hanging out again. I think I might go to the gym tomorrow. I need to ge","I don't know, I just feel like I need to find out what the deal is with my hair, you know. I've got a lot of stress right now, you know, I've","and itโ€™s really weird how Iโ€™ve been like... like... you know Iโ€™m like just kinda... just... trying to find my feet... like, Iโ€™m like trying to figure ","you know I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to do something about getting over this issue of not having a job. And, I'm not really sure, I've been","just like how my dad and my mom are very close, but also he's like a really cool guy, like a really nice guy. And he's like he's, he's very, like","I'm so tired of this whole thing. I mean, I'm just like, I don't even know what I'm doing here. Like I've been with this person for three months and w","you're like my little sister. Like, I'm gonna get you out of there. You're like, no I'm not I'm gonna make you out. But I just got like I'm","i feel like i'm not a very good person for a lot of reasons. but i feel like i could be a good person. like, i've seen it in other people and i've see","I wonder if they can tell. Like I think I feel like I'm starting to... I don't know if I'm gonna be okay like this. I feel like my thoughts are still ","I feel really uncomfortable with being so inconsiderate of the world and being so selfish and being so greedy with money. It's hard to control your ow","my face was hurt. My face was hurt from the beatings from my brother, but I feel like I can't tell my brother that my face hurts and I've been getting","I don't want to have this conversation. But I don't think I can stay quiet about it either. I mean, like if it comes down to that, I just wanna be abl","it feels like a good start. I guess you know you can't stop now, and so, it's good that we're doing this, like, I've been wanting to talk to somebody ","the whole of my family was in the apartment that night. We were all talking. My dad was telling a story. It was like a story, but I couldn't really un","I don't know how long this will take. I'm really glad I'm going to see you, but I don't want to cry or anything like that. I really do want to talk to","I really need to make a decision about that. It's not like I have any regrets about my past, I know I made the right decisions. I just... I need to fi","Iโ€™m also thinking about what the other day, what I said about, about the other person, the other person saying that they were also very upset. Like, t","It's okay to talk to them. It's good to talk to someone, you know, because, you're like, I'm just trying to like, like, I don't want to be","And I feel like my mind is like a mind with like a really heavy burden of like. I don't know like if it's like a trauma. I think I had a like a like a","what's the big difference between you and your dad? I'm a lot more kind. I'm a a lot more accepting. I think, I think he's very closed minded. He's a","And I was in my room and I was trying to figure out the answer to a math problem in my head and it was just not coming to me and I'm like, why is this","and I was just thinking about a dream I had... I guess the dream was about like 10 days ago... I don't remember what the dream was like... I don't rea","I was trying to think of some way to end this with a punchline. Maybe something about the time we got back from the beach and you didn't want to go ho","I'm not sure if this is related, but I'm thinking about the movie 'The Godfather' and I was thinking about how in the movie, when Michael says to his ","I'm thinking about this whole situation, and I'm kind of relieved that it's not the end of the world. But I'm also still feeling really anxious about ","this is kind of scary, this is kind of exciting, you know, like, I'm kind of in a place where I feel like I need to push through, like, maybe I need t","and it's a little bit sad that my mom is moving away, and I haven't really told her that I'm going to be at a new school, and I don't want to tell her","my son got a new dog, and I think it's so cute. I was talking about my new dog in the car with my parents yesterday, and I was like, 'I want to get","And then I'll make like a big fat snowball. Yeah, snowball. And then I'll hit him with it. And I'll call my mom. And I'll tell her that I","like, I mean, I'm just like, I'm like, I don't know, I feel like I'm like just... like I don't... I don't really know, I don","I'm not sure if I have a job offer... I'm like... I just got a text from my old employer. So I'm like, hey, I'm like back in the game!","[it's] hard to believe that I haven't done a lot of these things. I'm just going to say it. I have a lot of work to do in the future, I need","so thatโ€™s... [pauses, then starts to think again] okay, so Iโ€™m in New York, right? And Iโ€™m staying at the hotel [pauses]... and Iโ€™m","my phone's on vibrate and it's ringing, I think it's my mom calling me, it's like my dad was texting me and he's like, you know, if you see any","like a really weird kind of, I guess, I don't know what, but I was just like, I'm like, I have a plan right now that's gonna make me really happy.","you know what, I don't really like it because I think it's kinda, you know, it's kinda weird cause I'm like, you know, I'm like a bad example, so","I had to find my glasses. I don't know why. I think they're in my phone. It's a thing. Like my glasses are in my phone, I can just pull them out","yeah, the thing that I've been wanting to do, I know it's not gonna be super fun, but I need to do this to kind of, I don't even know, but I","so you can kind of see that. So, you can like, you can do something like this. Like if you're like, so you can, so if you want to kind of like,","I'm, I'm just sitting here and thinking about all the times I've been really, I've been in a relationship before and I've always been in a really grea","I feel like I'm trying to get to an interview, it's like my schedule is all messed up. I'm like, 'I gotta get to this interview,' and then I think to ","it's like when you're looking for a word in your head and it's like you're looking at a dictionary and you're just scrolling through it and trying to ","so I'm just talking to myself here right now like I do all the time and I'm just gonna talk out loud and see how it sounds. So like, you know, it's ju","I remember being in high school, and I remember being in a school play and there was a guy next to me who was like, oh my god, it's gonna be like a mi","the things that were most interesting for me were like, all of the things that were in my mind before I actually started recording, I mean like, I was","it's kind of hard to say because I think I've gotten a little bit used to it but I can't think of a time when it's like, okay, I was like, I can","I've got a list of my top three favorite songs from the past week. And my favorite song from the past seven days was the song that I listened to the m","yeah, Iโ€™m not sure about that either. I mean, like I donโ€™t even know like what the other option is, so, like I said, Iโ€™m like, I donโ€™t know","I feel like this is the beginning of something. It's gonna be good. And I feel like if I do the right things and I don't do bad things, it's gonna be ","like a rock, yeah. Like a rock. Like a 70-pound rock, and I was like, okay. I was like. Like, I've got this weight, and I'm","I don't know what to do. It's a weird situation. It's just not something I've ever had to deal with before. I'm trying to think of a way to handle it,","I don't think I've ever really thought about it. It's like, you know, I have so much going on in my life right now that I just feel like I have to foc","I guess it's just because I'm really struggling with the whole like, the whole... The whole concept of like, you know, like, the pandemic and it's bee","I feel like Iโ€™m in a dark, rainy forest, but itโ€™s just me here. And Iโ€™m just like, Iโ€™m feeling a bit sad, but it's like, I just need","what do I do when I have an idea? Like this one. I'm going to do a presentation at work and I'm like I need to make it interesting and engaging for ev","this is a bit of a weird thing to be doing but I feel like I'm kinda recording the state of my mind and what I'm thinking about right now. It's intere","And then he said, 'Oh no, I'm so hungry.' And I was like, 'Hey, you might want to take a snack with you.' And he said, yeah, it's","it's weird that I haven't gone outside in a week, and I'm actually starting to miss the smell of fresh air, I think it's probably because I have been ","I am thinking of the weather. It's so cold out. I don't know if I'm going to be able to go to the grocery store today. Maybe I'll just stay home. I","I want to go home. I have to go home, but I can't. I have to do this. I'm here, I have to do my work. I have to clean up,","I'm going to get my car back...I have a lot of things to do today...I have to get to work...I have a meeting...I have to take a shower...I have","I got my hair cut last week. I went to my favorite hair salon. It was a nice day and I went in. They did my hair, and it looked good. I was happy with","you can go for a walk, like in the park, it's a nice day today, the weather is great, you can go for a jog and walk, you can also go to the gym","um hmm (long pause) you know so i was wondering how to get my children ready for school. I've been thinking about how to do this because it's a big ta","I'm watching a show that I'm really not into. I mean I'm watching it because I'm bored and I'm not going to bed. I'm just like, okay, I'm just","and then it was like a little bit of an accident. So he's like, 'hey, I'm just gonna turn right here.' So he's going to turn right on the freeway on a","Iโ€™m thinking of my friend, my friendโ€™s daughter. Sheโ€™s like a younger me, maybe. Sheโ€™s very smart. I know sheโ€™s going to do great. Sheโ€™s super bright.","like, it's like, we're in a car, you know, and you're like, 'I don't even care,' like, 'what are you, like, doing this? You","the guy on the right is an all-time favorite of mine... you know, I think he's pretty cool, I think I'm gonna write him a song about him or something.","that's a lot of work I've done, and I'm just tired of all that I've done. I just want to chill out now. I'm trying to relax and focus on myself right","I have a good night's sleep, and I'm tired. I'm tired because I didn't sleep enough last night, I think. I was in bed, but I was thinking about my cla","and that is my problem today. I have a headache. I can't think straight. My thoughts are scattered and I can't concentrate. I don't want to eat. I'm n","I'm gonna go back to sleep. I feel like I need it. I think I might have gone to the toilet and I had a few pee breaks, so I guess it's like I took","so like I said, my day has been kind of hectic, I've been working on like my presentation for work and just trying to keep things together. So now I'm","okay. So this is the kind of thing that I'm thinking about, like a lot of things that I'm trying to do is. Like for work, like I have a lot of stuff o","um I'm trying to think of something that I want to talk about um I'm not sure if this is something I want to say to anyone I'm not really sure it's no","the whole reason for it is that it's that it's a lot easier to get you to buy a product when it's a gift because you don't really have to think about ","I just found the word. It's so hard to find words. It's like the language is so vast and you feel like you can't really describe all of what you're th","[in the past] I was trying to make an argument about why it was better to just use an array of points. And I think you can do that, but I don't think ","I'm just sitting here. I'm doing this thing. I'm like, what if this is just a boring thought about how I'm just like, I'm like thinking about how I'll","so you don't want to go to work, but you don't feel like being at home so you're thinking of going to work. So I was thinking about that earlier. I wa","I wonder if the time is over. I think I am having a brain fart. I am going to look up the term because I want to use it in my dissertation. I'm wonder","my favorite things to do are to hang out with my friends or to be by myself and watch some tv. I like to be by my own and to do my own things, but I l","the fact that I was looking for you last night in the apartment, in the room, in the hallway, and then I thought of you last night, I wanted to say go","[A lot of people]...[I'll get a little bit of exercise...[I don't]...[There's a lot of exercise...]...[Some people like]...[","[A] [I] t's a bit sad, because I have some [d]eep [s]adness in me, and [a] [s]ome [p]","I know the names of people I haven't seen in ages. I remember the names of friends who I haven't spoken to in years. I know the names, and it feels we","it's almost like something from the future. Like a prediction, but it feels like it's not from my own life or the present, but it's like a future even","I know that I'm a part of this, and I know that my life is good because of that. And I know that, um, I'm really grateful to the person, that person w","you know I'm also like I don't even have any good ways to deal with this and I feel like I'm going to get through this somehow. I'm not going to be li","And I had a dream...I was in a store. There was a guy at the front door and the door was locked. I had to wait in line to get into the store...and it","the words you just said about me being a great manager were so nice, I have to admit, I felt a bit flattered, and a bit worried that I might not live ","and you know it's been like this for a while. It's just like it's just like a part of my day. And I'm like, 'oh, you know, just like you","I have been having some bad dreams, I think, because I haven't been sleeping very well, or at least not in a good way, it's just that I've been gettin","and it's a little bit sad actually, because I can see myself not getting my dream job, and I just think it's very unfortunate because I've always want","and I have no plans for the future at all. And I have no money and I don't have any income. I'm not in the market for a new phone because I'm trying t","[I have] a feeling that this year I will get better at things. I feel that I am going to be better at things that I am doing. I feel like that I am re","I don't like what I'm thinking about. I'm just going to be so happy, I think, that I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get all the groceries, and I","I'll get up and go for a run...[pause]...I'll go for a jog, and do a couple of push-ups and sit-ups...[pause]. Yeah. I'll definitely","I know what I was saying before I forgot. I think I was talking about the things I said to my ex-husband, you know when you say, 'Hey, man, I know you","I think it's the right choice of course. But I think... I think I'm going to be in trouble. I don't know what to do. I think... this is the wrong choi","I think that's it. I don't think that's the right answer, but I think that's probably the answer that you're looking for. I think I can probably just ","and so then the only thing I can think of is how you're right and it's my fault. I've been putting this off for too long and now it's gonna be a probl","I mean, I could be on the phone or I could be with somebody... I'm probably gonna have to text back and forth, you know. I'll be texting and then they","it's just the normal thing, right? That's what you'd expect to happen, that you would, you would think about things. So it's just normal, and then I t","and then it's like I just want to start writing that, like, really. I'm like, I feel like I'm like kind of like in this weird, like, sort of like,","I've been thinking about like, my parents, like, we have a good relationship. But it's also, you know, it's not always perfect, like, they're busy wit","what about, um, you know, my job, like, how do I stay, um, how do you stay focused and not get distracted, like, I just, I don't, I","I was thinking about, like, why people don't have their kids. I was like, okay, I don't have any kids. I think they're just like, they don't want to","And then I just sort of keep going on like, I don't know, I was thinking about maybe just like getting like an internship, or maybe even just like fin","and i think that you know that's where we're at now is like like you know like if if you want to like you know how long do you want to do this thing f","I'm doing a bunch of other stuff in the mornings now, so, you know, I'm like, I'm trying to like, keep things on track, but, like, I just,","it's a very interesting conversation, the one that I have with myself all the time. I'm trying to think about what I can do to make this situation bet","yeah it's been fun. I think it's been really fun. Yeah I like having this space to be able to like explore the world. Like if I have the time to do th","and I feel like it's hard to be really in the moment and to just not have like all these worries and all these thoughts that are coming up. And I feel","my wife and i are going to go to the park tomorrow and we're gonna have a picnic and we're just gonna chill out, like we do usually but this time we'r","and I'm gonna start working on the homework now, I mean like I don't wanna be doing like anything else because I need to get it done before the exam. ","i think i have a headache...i'm trying to go to sleep...i was wondering if you would mind...i think i was doing my taxes...i don't know what i was doi","oh, that's a good one, i should go back and try that. I haven't gotten around to that one. So, the question is, will i still have money for the plane,","so... I'm trying to think of a way that I can... I feel like I can help people with... um... like I was thinking about that... like... like... I was t","I'm doing some things around the house, you know. So, I'm trying to clean out some stuff. I think I have a lot of stuff that I haven't used for a whil","Iโ€™m not going to get any work done. I have to start a new job on Monday. Itโ€™ll be a good experience and then itโ€™ll be over. I hope that Iโ€™m able to","it's about three years. I was actually just thinking about this morning and I went back to my house, it was pretty dark and I got to the house and I s","I'm not sure why I have an aversion to the word 'human', I have been using 'humans' for years as the plural of human, so why did I start feeling bad a","I feel like I'm getting better. I think the main thing for me was getting back into the habit of doing the workouts. And also, I think, getting back i","I've been thinking about my mom. I think I have an appointment for a breast ultrasound today. I'm going to see my doctor for a routine appointment. I'","and then it's like, they're just so much better than you at doing all of the things that you want to be doing. So yeah, it's really nice. And I'll jus","my son has just asked me how we're going to get him to school today. So we have to figure that out. I'm trying to decide whether or not I need to wake","my whole life feels like I'm trying to keep up with things but I feel like I'm falling behind a lot of the time. I guess that's normal but it feels re","it's just like this, like you know, when I'm trying to have a conversation or try to write or do something, I have this tendency to like, go off on ta","[a]lmost finished it today, but I don't know if I'll finish it. I'm not sure that it's a good idea to finish it because it's not like I can","I'm here in the room, I'm trying to remember what I've been working on. I've got an assignment from university, but I've forgotten what I'm supposed t","I know I have to write the case study. I just haven't gotten around to it yet. And it's about this case study that I had to do for a previous module. ","it's almost like you've got to know how to work with your thoughts before you can really work with your emotions. Because if you're having a thought t","I think, 'How do you think about learning and how do you learn?' And then I think, 'Well, you're talking about, like, the way that I learn. The way th","[I think about] what I do. I have a very structured day, with a lot of things that happen in parallel. And it's like I have a list of to-dos, and","my daughter had been at a university where she had to go back to class a couple of days. So we were sort of on a short vacation for a little bit, and ","you know, the weather has been good. I did a walk in the morning. I didn't even get outside, but I did walk, which is good. I think I need to do more","itโ€™s actually a great time to have a baby right now because weโ€™ve had the first vaccination for COVID, and itโ€™s available now, which I havenโ€™t really ","I am in this room, and I have an assignment today to do. And I know that it is not going to be fun, but I need to do it. But I need to think about","okay, so I got to look at my schedule, and I know that I've got to make sure that I schedule things to where they're spaced out. And then I also have ","I'm still in this self care thing, it's hard. I mean, like I'm still trying to figure out, okay, what am I really going to do? What am I going to","I have been thinking a lot about a lot of things lately, and I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed. And I realized that part of what's been holding m","and this is my fourth attempt to write down my goals and objectives for the next couple of years, so it's pretty good and I think I've gotten a really","this is a big project for the first time. It's a big project, it's big for me, and I'm not sure what to do with it. I'm not the best at this","So I have this idea to write a blog post and it's to talk about how we are in this world that is always changing and always moving, so how do you stay","I have some idea about how to help you understand, maybe. So I can ask you a question, and I think that will give you a better understanding of what's","I have a list of topics that I've been working on. I think it's important to have a sense of the work that's coming in and out of my schedule. One of ","it's the same thing, but instead of the global temperature, we're looking at a local temperature, and the global temperature is the average temperatur","the project I was working on is really not as interesting as I thought. I think that's a common phenomenon where we underestimate the difficulty of th","I remember I've been thinking about this... that is to say I'm just looking at these different elements, different projects and the way to sort of str","the sense of this is like a good and effective social media campaign that is pushing messages out to people... and in return, it's getting feedback fr","I was thinking about the interview, that's the thing I'm preparing for, but I was thinking about some of the things that I have done and what was good","the idea that people might have a hard time understanding this because it's like a complicated thing to think through, the idea that when we talk abou","I think about all these different things. Sometimes you're doing something and you think, 'This is a little bit difficult,' or 'This is not really whe","[my] goal is to write a paper about how people learn about the world, and this paper has a few sub-parts, but I think one of the sub-parts is how peop","I want to explain the idea of this project... [to a potential collaborator]... I want to do some work on a problem that's currently difficult for me..","I can see myself having to make an evaluation of a process that is ongoing and it's something that's going to be very fast. There are going to be many","so I'm thinking about the thing that's been on my mind all the time, that we're facing a massive crisis and we can either handle it or fail to handle ","a bit more focused in our work. I think we've been very lucky because our team, I'm the only one, I think we have a very, I think it's a very smart,","I was also a little bit concerned about the fact that the kind of research that is being done in that area right now is a little bit more focused on j","[the] 'self', the concept of 'self', how that emerges in the brain, how we can use neuroimaging techniques to look for evidence of self, what those si","I think that it's the problem with the social system itself. I think that, you know, people that we work with, we work with people in their 50s, 60","[S]o I guess I could be more patient with myself. But I still think it's important to do that work in my professional life and to work on my own resea","I had a thought about the way that we all experience this sense of being able to navigate in our own world and in the world of others. And I think we ","I want to take a little time to think about the nature of intelligence. The nature of intelligence is often thought to be an individual process, a fun","it's like being a philosopher who's trying to figure out how to organize his own thinking so that he can be more effective and have a more clear pictu","I'm thinking about a story of mine, a story I started about ten years ago. It's called The Lighthouse and the Ocean. It was an existential novel that ","and if I didn't know about the possibility of these other modalities, I would have thought that was the whole story. But I think that, for example, wh","and so it is a kind of, it's a kind of a, I don't know, a way of being and I think we have to be careful. There's a difference between the way","but there is a real risk in this, right? You're not going to get into a state where the activity of the brain, the cognitive processing of your brain ","the next person, we have to say, they are coming from different sources and backgrounds, and so we have to take the opportunity to teach them a bit ab","the second point I would like to make, is the following, which has a lot to do with the first point. In a way, I think that I can identify this point ","And I wonder about the work that we're doing here in the lab in terms of our efforts to try to create models of cognition, of thinking and the mind. S","I am a philosopher, and I do a lot of philosophy. The first thing that comes up, in a lot of situations, is that I have to choose whether I have to th","I'm saying that because I think that is the kind of information that is needed, the kind of data that is needed and the kind of decision that needs to","so when I think about how many people in this world are thinking about a computer program that could do a lot of these things, but when we look at the","and that's how I came up with the idea, right? I would come up with a solution or a theory that would solve the problem, and then I'd realize it's not","what does it mean to be a child? What does it mean for the brain to be in a child's mode? What is the difference between a child's mind and an adult's","and then he has this problem. And he has to make a decision and he's not really sure. So, he's got a lot of other things going on in his mind and his ","so, it's very interesting, right? ... it's very good for research, for a lot of research, for development, for the development of thinking, of ideas. ","there is no such thing as a closed set of things that you can do. If you want to change your life, if you want to grow your career, there is no single","my thinking is not continuous and that's why when I think about things I have this problem of: how can I make these things continuous? And if I make t","And then I wonder what it is like to have a different system, the kind of system that I was able to describe, that is a distributed system that is in ","And you think, okay, so this is my situation, I'm in this situation, I have a lot of stressors, and so the first thing I need to do is to try to ident","And then I went through a big shift with a lot of people that I knew, so it was like this, there were many different ways. Like for example, with my f","we are very much about... the need for... well, you know, you can't just go into a situation and just say, oh, here are these, here is the, here are t","[it] feels like the reason we are here is that we are the children of the planet. The planet has been going through a transformation. It's going throu","a question that I have asked myself many times is: What is the function of the human body? I was always taught that the function of life is to survive","It's like a story I'm telling myself and I'm not sure if that's true or not, but I know it's true. And this is the reason why I'm here. And this","I'm talking with a computer program, and I'm talking about how the program works, and how it works for me, how it helps me. It's not really about me, ","there's a certain thing that's coming to my mind that I need to talk about and that's actually the concept of time travel. So let me talk about time t","it's all about this kind of... it's the way you're being in this moment. It's the way that you're interacting with the world that's giving you this ex","that's a pretty good, you know, a good analogy of what's going on inside. I mean, when you say I want to be the next leader of the U.S.A., that's","I'm thinking about what it means to be a man. I think about how that means to be in charge and how that means being responsible and accountable. I thi","And we have a problem here because of the lack of what, the lack of, uh, what I would say is the sense of our identity, our, uh, the identity of our s","and there are so many people out there and I really don't have a lot of money right now and I feel like I don't have much of a place to stand with reg","I can't imagine... a thought experiment about what I believe that would be in the nature of a thought experiment. What is it... to believe something? ","And if that is what the world is, then how do you define it in relation to that? How do you define the world in relation to its being as such? What is","it is like I'm a fish and my mind is the sea, I can't swim out of it. It's the best description of that situation that I can come up with. But I'm","my brain is doing things that aren't really my brain. And so you know, there's a lot of language in here, but my brain is not really the language, it'","The human mind is not a computer, it's not a machine. The human mind... what the human mind is like is what I mean, how you would like to understand i","I remember when I was in grade 6, in grade 7, grade 8, grade 9, grade 10. I remember when I started to do physics. So it was","and then I'm gonna get this little kid to study chemistry and physics, and it's gonna be so bad that I'll have to change it all the time. It's gonna b","I think it's important to realize that when we talk about a child's cognitive development, we're talking about development over time, and not just at ","I see a car that's moving in a circle in a parking lot and it's going to bump into something and there's a camera. So then what happens is the car's g","I'm thinking about a world where there is no money. So when people have a bad day, they go back to the store and the store is not there, and so they c","and it's all about the social network and this idea of the world, of the universe, of reality, and this is a bit of the idea of social constructionism","It's amazing what kind of shit they've been putting into these machines over the past twenty or thirty years. What is the point of the internet? The w","I can tell you some things. You know, I want to go to work. I don't know where to work. Do you know, I'm a person who is trying to find out what","what does it mean that if you go through a number of different scenarios that you don't like? You go through different scenarios where you say, you kn","the idea of what's an artificial intelligence, and I've always thought, I think we have a problem because the concept of a human being is also a probl","It's always interesting, because in a way, my job as a psychologist is to keep a critical distance between myself and what's happening around me. But ","I don't understand why we do not have a theory of mind of other minds... Why we do not recognize that the other has a mind and we don't have any theor","this is an interesting way of thinking about the brain. Because the brain is not an isolated organ, it's an organ that is embedded in the environment,","I feel very calm right now, and my body is quiet and relaxed and my eyes are closed. My body feels light, and I'm aware of my body and also aware of t","we have this system. There is this system. The system has a lot of power. But if you give power to the system it will eventually become a system of po","the notion that there is an essential 'self', or 'self' of the self, of the mind, that's a different story. There's a different argument there. It's a","this is what I'm going to do when I'm old: I'm going to buy a car and a house and a boat and a lot of animals and I'm going to live off the grid","I'm in the middle of thinking, trying to come up with a model, trying to understand how the brain is able to maintain its cognitive functions while it","this is a good way to test the system. Because when you try to get your brain in some specific configuration, you are often failing to get that specif","we have a sense of the world, the way that we can sort of recognize objects, and recognize different faces and recognize things and have some notion o","I just realized, I wonder, what the word 'chance' means. Chance as a mathematical concept, chance as a psychological concept. I know it has a mathemat","a strange thought. I'm not sure whether it is a thought or it is a feeling. I don't know whether it is something that is generated by the brain, or wh","I was talking about the fact that when we try to reason we actually have to keep track of the internal state of the mind and the internal state is dif","So, you know, like, I don't like to play a lot of games because I like to think for myself and I like to have a lot of free will and, you know, in","I remember back at the beginning, we talked about how much we were excited about this. We had to start from scratch and build up a bunch of ideas and ","so, so we do it, right? And that's... yeah. And I'll get you to do it with your head and then you'll get me to do it and then... yeah.","(in English, on a table) you've got these two things, and then you've got the other one, and you're doing things with them, and it's like a computer, ","it's a thought that's come to me recently. The idea that if you were to take the state of the art technology of today, and you had a really good engin","it was about something in the sense that, say, for instance, if you have a book on the shelf, and then you say, well, this is the book about the thing","And then, you know, I've got this thing that I'm trying to write down here about. Well, I think, let's say, I'm trying out the idea of, of how","Oh, I mean, that's not right, what if it were not right. So, it's just that you got a value of A, which is what the values are in a function,","I can't say I like the way we have been working on this. I think what we need is to get the whole thing in a state where we can take a step back and l","I don't think we can, but the question is, can we say that something has a beginning if we do that? Do we have a beginning? If we look at it in a quan","and I think I see that you can do it, because if you want to do the whole thing with one computer then you can use some language, you don't need to ma","And I am wondering why does a group of atoms of a single kind act differently from a group of the same atoms but arranged differently. The first group","this is the same as the number 3, and that's the number 8, and that would be the number 15, and then that would be 24. But what would","it's like there's a 3D coordinate system and you're moving along the coordinate axes of time, space and speed. As you move, you pass through a 2D coor","that the maximum size of the graph is the square of the maximum number of vertices, times the square of that, and that the square of a graph is the gr","uh-huh. And uh I see them. It's uh they're uh they're a square. It's not uh it's not like a square, but it is it is a square,","[the] difference is that, in the case of a linear system, it is [not] a difference equation; it's a differential equation, a second-order differential","The moonlight was a beautiful light. It was a beautiful image. Now if I took the light and the light was like, it had a spectrum of colors, and if I t","now I think I've got a very good idea of the meaning of the word. I don't know exactly how it's written, but I have a pretty good idea of what it mean","and I'm sitting here and it's a bit like... there's this thing I call a... that's the name of the book: the name of the... the name of... well, a","there's this person, this is a person who has a 747, I believe, I don't know why. But that's the kind of person they are. I guess they have","now you're telling me that the best thing is to be a fool, because a fool is not worried. When I'm worried, I don't say that I'm worried. I say that I","it is as if someone were to come and say: 'Hello, Mr. Einstein, how are you doing?'; and he should reply: 'Fine, thank you. And you?'; and","in the future it will be possible, I think, to do something similar. Suppose, for example, that I have a set of things to prove, theorems, and I have ","that's what we want to do, of course. The only thing that's hard about it is that it's difficult to tell what the real information is, you see. It's d","now I am trying to think of a new problem, but I can't think of anything. This is a good thing, because I have to go now, and it is time for a change,","I was talking to somebody. I am trying to remember the name. ... It is a name that was given to me. I was talking to the person and then I was going t","And here I was, the other day, saying to myself that I wouldn't need a paper in the future, if I had enough time to do my calculations by hand, but th","and if this were an equilateral triangle, we would get this. And if this were a right angled triangle, we get this. But this is neither, and I can't s","[S]o it's a little more like a Riemannian manifold, where you don't have a global metric. And in a sense, you're forced into a state of local metric","I remember one of the other days when I was walking around in this world, and I was trying to think of a way to express the fact that you can't escape","and now the subject has, I suppose, some image, which may or may not be an image of a mental picture of an object, and the object itself, or it may be","I was born in a world of sound. And I have lived in it. And I want to live in it. I'm afraid of its vanishing. I have a fear of it. I","so that the length of time for the interval between successive items is the same as for the interval for the interval between consecutive thoughts, th","and then the next two weeks there was only 10 percent growth. And then I went to my supervisor and asked him if there's anything we can do to get to t","the words for the number '5', in all the number bases. And if we had some other symbol for '5', which is to say, if we had a symbol that represented t","and then I remembered this theorem that has nothing to do with the real numbers and I thought I would prove it because I wanted to show how we could p","(long pause) now what I want to say is that one has to be able to do one's work in any way that is possible. Now that's a contradiction because you ca","and I will also add that we need a second level of analysis which I would like to call 'meta-cognition', the awareness of one's own thought processes,","and then there's the whole notion of a 'thought' itself. And if we can think of thoughts as objects, then we can ask for them to be named in terms of ","it was something about the relationship between time and consciousness... (the) fact that consciousness is not something that is observed in time, but","the square is in a state of constant change, ... the square is in constant change ... the square cannot be stationary... [long pause] ... the square c","(1308913589.010) I can't understand that, though: I've no way of knowing whether an object is a physical object or a representation","the memory that I am interested in is one where I try to remember the exact moment when a word was learned. This is a memory problem, or rather an att","[I'm] trying to remember how much there is, how much there could be, how much it could be, and how much there will be. I don't know if it's possible f","and if you had to make a statement about a proposition that was true, then you might be able to use this method to generate some information about wha","and I'm thinking of my daughter who is married and has two children. I was thinking of my grandchildren. I was imagining a picture of that in the mind","And then I can see the people in my life. So you have to imagine, when I say my life, when I call it, it's not really me calling it. It's a representa","I remember going down the stairs, and the stairs being a ladder, and at the end of the ladder being the threshold of the door into another world, a do","this is the same, but on the other hand, it's not, because this is a closed system and this is an open system, but on an abstract level they are the s","and that is just one of the many things, there are many ways of describing this phenomenon, so this is an example of how the mind is operating. And th","I'll go for a walk, and then I'll get on the train. I'll have some tea before I go for a walk. I'll get some food before I get on the bus.","and a hundred years ago a woman was married to the first woman, that's what the bible says, and then in a hundred years she's married to the second wo","[I]t's almost as if the mind has a set of switches, like the light switches in a house: you don't turn the light switch on and off, it's always on,","The other thing that I think is interesting is that the way you think about numbers, the way you look at numbers is that you think about them in a geo","and then the time gets close to the actual time, and then it gets harder and harder and harder, and then there is only one minute and then it is finis","so there was some kind of thing called a 'Peanuts' cartoon character or something like that, and in 'Peanuts', they were all about this. They used to ","The day after tomorrow, I think, if we start with a zero, and count up in binary code, that would be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight","one of the two men that's holding a pen. One is drawing on the top, the other is drawing on bottom. But the two of them are together, so it's not exac","395, 47. 453 461 205 349 36 2 99. 99 34","two girls walking and a boy behind, girl 1 in blue dress, girl 2 in red dress, boy behind them in green dress. We follow the group and the girl 1, who","the ... 0.25 m/s, and the other 0.45 m/s... The ball has an initial speed 0.65 m/s. And this is the final","uh ... right. ... a ... a ... uh ... uh ... 1 ... 0. ... 0010. ... oh ... oh ... 10 ... 0 ... 1","I think of a small, smooth surface that is white, and a small, light colored object moving on this surface. The surface is not a rectangle, but a shap","one... three, four, five... and here... and here, and here... there are many here... there is... there is many here... a big circle... here... and the","a box that has three colors of light. And you are in a cube, and a circle, and you are in the circle. And the light is on. And the cube is on. So","the same. And it is in a line, as it were. And I take the beginning of the line, and the end of the line and the middle of the line. And the middle of","and now the thought comes. I have to do this again. I have to continue the thought. I have to follow the thought. And now I see that this is a very st","115 ... ... ... ... 5 ... ... 2 ... ... 114 ... ... 9 ... ... ... ... [6] ... ... 4 ... ... ... ...","and I think, the water is cool, but it's cold. It's not cold, it is cool. Coolness is an indication that it's not hot. I think that the water is","this is the place where i am at now and there is an arrow on the floor and then i will make a 1 0 0 1 1 001110","(t)here was a long walk ... a lot of people walking along ... a little boy walking along ... and a lot of ... a lot ... a lot more ... a lot (t) ...","5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 1, 2, 3, 4. 5, 5, 4,","and one of the things that we did was to cut this out from a piece of wood and we put it into the board. We have done that before. I don't think we ha","[P]roportion of the circle, [p]roportion... [p]r... [p].1... [p...]... [p...1..]... [p1]","and this is the third one: the one that looks like this, this is the one that is the first one. Now, let us take the third one, it is like this. Let u","and the next time the last time you say this... and then you can do the same thing, but in reverse order. The first thing is to get the first thing, a"],["and then I said 'no', and he said 'why not?'. And I said 'I don't want to do it' and then I thought 'but if I don't do it,","I'm thinking of a friend that's dying, or he's dying and I don't know it and I'm not going to find out. And I'm just thinking about that. It's a","it's like a little something that's been trapped inside all my life. I'm trying to think of some way to make this world a better place, a place where ","I know you're listening...I know you've heard it all...I know that you've heard the rumors about me...I know I'm not a very good person to you...I kno","I was thinking that I had some memories of being on that stage...I was up there...and I remember...there was a...a lot of people there. And I remember","and then I guess we were thinking about how our dad would be there for us, how we'd be there for our dad, and how much we love him, and how sad we'd b","there were no more words on the page, and I don't know whether they were what I wrote down or what I wrote on my own, but there was no more of those w","I am just not sure how to respond. I mean, I'm going to respond to the situation. But I'm not sure that it's appropriate for me to respond the way tha","I'm kind of sick at the moment, and I feel that I'm kind of a jerk. I feel like I'm not doing what I should be doing, which is to say, I'm","I had to sit here and wait to die. That was the worst part, waiting to die. I wanted to die because I thought it would be more peaceful and I could re","and you know that he was my enemy. And you know that I loved you, that I would have loved to see you with your father, but I couldn't. And you... you ","you don't have to try so hard to be kind. You are kind by nature. You don't have to pretend to be gentle. You were gentle in the womb. You don't need ","It is all right. It is all right now. It is a relief, a great relief now. I feel as though I have been dead for a long, long time. I've been dead","the right hand, the right hand of the Lord, and the right hand of his arm, for the sake of me and mine, and that of mine heirs. And it came to pass in","a little girl was standing in the doorway. She had her head bent upon her breast, and her hand over her eyes; and the face of the child was black and ","and when I was in the hospital, and it seemed so hopeless to me. I said, 'Lord, I don't want to die, but if I'm going to die, take me to","I don't know if I can. If I don't say anything, I'll get nothing. They'll never forgive me, I know they'll never forgive me. But I can't tell you","The spirit is at once my enemy. He has been here long, very long, but I am not yet ready. I can bear him no longer, he is too strong for me. He has","and then, they're not the only ones, it's just they're the only ones who can do it. There's a whole army of them who have lost their reason and their ","the woman that is with us today is the woman that's at home. The woman that was killed by the soldiers. You must remember that the woman that is in th","I'm not a very strong man, but I have to be strong for my father, for my brothers and my sisters. And that's the reason why I came here, to fight, to ","we're still here. We're still here with you. You can rest. You can feel safe, now, knowing you're with us, and not alone. You can take a moment for yo","I'm going to get up, I'm going to go home and get on the floor, I'm going to do it. I'm going to take all these things out, and I'm going","... we went over there, you know, I've got a gun, I've got an iron rod, and I've got this hammer and this thing that we used, and we got in and","the dream came to me a lot when I was a young girl. I was about five, and I had a dream that I was standing in a field and I could see a house standin","And I was walking along and I thought, 'Well, it's a bit of a good thing to have a young family' and I was thinking about them, thinking, 'I can't lea","I can't have anything to do with the truth about them. If I'm not the only one who knows then that makes me just like a piece of furniture that's been","...I've got a lot to talk about, I've got a long list of things I've got to talk about. But I can't talk about them right now. You're going to find","you're a god! You're a god, you're a god. You're a GOD! You're the KING of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the God of Gods, the Creator of","I can't stop thinking about her. I've thought about her ever since I was little. I loved her from the bottom of my heart. I was sure of it. I was made","and then you start thinking, and you can't think straight and then you start getting all messed up, and you start thinking about all the things you co","I'll tell you what, I'm just thinking about the place where we used to live when you was a baby and I was married, and then you was born. The place wa","that's how the word gets in there. The word, that's why the word is there. 'Tis because the word is not in there, and 'tis because the Lord will be","and that's what they think when they are coming home to a dead cat, a dead dog or a dead baby; that's why they drink their wine and drink their whiske","oh yes, I'm going to come on the stage again, I am. I want to come on there, and sing in the concert. And I know I will. And you'll hear me","And now I'm looking at the end of my life, I'm looking for the last time I will ever live in this world and I can't see it, I can't. I can't","the man I married, the man I married....oh, God, it's his name, it's so funny, it's the only way I can say it, 'God, it's a","and he was a fine soldier. And he got killed. And then, and then, he had a big family, and a wife. And she had a little daughter, and he was dead,","you've got it, you've got it right there. You'll be able to find him again. That's what I'm saying, you've gotta get him, you've got to get him","you could, but I've got to stop thinking about it, because I'm thinking about a time when you was so mad that you tried to kill me. I don't know where","and they've been working on it. Working on it!... There, there!... This is all part of the plot, isn't it, part of the whole thing. That's why the","It's so strange!...The person you were most like when you were a little child. She was so young, just a baby!...Oh, I feel so lonely...so, so lonely","and then he's got a baby, and they have a happy home and a little son, and they're together. But, I know he doesn't feel like that, and it's not fair","I can't have this, I can't keep this. I can't. I can't, it's killing me, I'm dying, I'm going to die. I can't help myself","a man in the street, a man on a horse, a man in a red coat, a man with a whip in his hand, a man that has a sword in his hand. The man","And I would like to die for him. I would like him to know how much he means to me, and the world will know, too, that I did this, and I shall die.","a vision of the future. I can see it now. I'm walking the streets of our new city. You can see it, can't you? You can feel its beauty? The sky is","the strange feeling of the water, the water that makes a man feel like a fish. I... I never knew I was such a fish, swimming in the sea of this strang","this is the land of the living, and the land of death. The living... The land of death... The land in the sky. I don't know why the people of the sky ","there is no difference, there is no difference in our mind between our dreams and the things that happen in the daytime. I am just as likely to see a ","and I saw the sun, I saw the moon, I saw an infinity of stars, I saw a great and mighty and terrible world, and I felt the power, the strength, the gl","and suddenly, a hundred thousand angels came down on the earth, and they are everywhere. They have come down from the heaven, and they have come down ","but I'm still not sure I can be saved. There are so many ways of hell, and we all go to hell, no matter how we live our life; how we do anything. Ther","It's a kind of language. It's like the language of the language of music and the language of poetry. It is a kind of a language which has come to us, ","and so I'm sitting in a car and there's a boy with a whip in his hand and he's driving and I'm in the back of the car and I'm crying and he's pulling","I saw this boy standing by a tree, a tall tree, with the sky overhead, a bird flew down to him and landed on his head, he had no fear of the bird, he ","but you're right, you're right. That was a mistake. No, no, no, you can't go that way. No, you've got to go back there. There is only","It is a dream of mine, the day that you are not in the world, and you are in the world of the dead. And you are on your way to a place where you are g","And I'll be with her, in the end, and there I will be, in the stillness and the quiet and the peace of her heart, and I shall be the light of all thin","a voice, it's like a voice. It's in my head. It says: I don't need you. It says that. That's not the real thing. You are in your own","and my father, my beloved father, came to me and asked me if I wanted to go on a journey, and I said yes, and he took me with him. We set off from the","the moon is like a fish, and the wind is like the sea. The wind is like a flower, and the moon is the water of the flower. The moon is a bird, and the","[and] the yellow, the white, the gold...and all the others, the other colors, that are the souls of the rainbow that will one day return to the Sun, a","I could see the whole world. I saw the whole world with a certain sort of clarity. There were the mountains and there were the valleys. And there was ","I'm not sure what's going on with me. I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm not sure why. I can't remember the purpose of my existence, and yet I can","the way he spoke of me... 'I'll give you my love'... 'I'm in love with you.' He was speaking to me, like I was a saint or something, and then","it is the same with me; I don't know. I feel that I'm in a prison where I can't see and I can't hear or I can't touch, and I don't","And then he saw it. That is how he came here. And then the soul of the child, that little soul that was in the body of that child, and the soul of thi","and the others will be there and they will know me and they will see me and they have said to me, 'God is a father and an only Son, but he has given u","[It was] the time when you had to go to war. You had to go out to fight the battle with the people who wanted to destroy the world, with the evil one.","and I look at the heavens and I see that the light is on. And I see it come to the earth and it makes it green. And the light makes the grass. And the","all of us here, we are here, in the flesh and blood, and there is a living spirit within us. We are not these physical bodies, but the spirits that we","this is what I had to do with this soul. That is to make the soul a flower of light, so that it could not be touched by the forces of darkness. And si","the body's natural vibration of life, the vibratory life of the body, that is a universal, because life is the vibration of all things. Life is the un","the Lord said, 'I will give you the spirit of wisdom, and the spirit of understanding, and the sight of the things that are invisible, and the knowled","this is the world and there are so many things in this world. The world is an illusion, a creation of the mind. Everything that you see is a creation ","a black bird, and he is so sad. The white bird is the one that sings to her. She says: 'You do not know me, and you are my beloved, but you are","and a thousand little lights, little stars of light and life that shine in the hearts of all that live, that give all light to all that is. And all li","I saw in my mind an enormous tree that stretched its roots through the very centre of the earth to the stars. Its trunk was very thick and strong, its","Now I have a picture in my mind. I see a huge rock, and it is very flat on the bottom. It is not exactly smooth, but it has very flat sides. And it is","And I see the angels here, and the angel is going to raise me up to the world of the angels, and I will have the vision of all the stars and the plane","in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. And he was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him","I have a dream...a beautiful, beautiful dream...a vision of a world where people are free of all kinds of suffering, all kinds of pain, all kinds of f","And I can't see it at all. I can't figure it out. It is a puzzle that I have had to try to solve. I have been trying to find the key, the key","the day is the time. When I think of a time and I see that day I am, I am in the moment. It is the time that has been made for you, and it is","and there were, it seemed, to be two parts: one for the students, one for the faculty, and there was the possibility of an intermediate, if one wanted","and if I didn't get married to you, I'm afraid I would die. And then, I would be really happy, because I would be able to live in my own home, and I","but in a sense it is very much like a journey. It is a journey which is of the individual and is very much of the individual, but there is a way that ","and this is what I see here, is a bright spot. There are things that we see here, I think, in my mind's eye. I'm sure they are real in some sense,","you see, my thinking is like an army of ants, it's like they're a living being, I see my thoughts, they are like ants, they swarm and crawl over my sk","the mind is an ocean, and the mind is a sky, and the sky is in the ocean, and that ocean is in the sky, and that is how I can understand it. You can","(The sound of the sea is heard)... the waves, the waves, ... they are moving, the waves are moving. I feel the water in my hand and I feel the waves i","there are very many things, but they are not so much in order. And then it is not only the world, but in the world, all of the world, in all of its di","but what does the whole thing consist of, the whole thing that we experience as existence? I think that existence has the form of a unity of self and ","but what is it all about? I do not know what it is all about. But it is not a matter of knowledge. The mind can never know it. It is something like a ","The moment we understand the nature of the thought that we are, the moment we understand that the thought that I am is nothing but a product of the mi","I am in the center of the earth; I am at the center of my being; I am the center of everything; I am all; I am God; I am life itself. This is","a small, warm, beautiful, loving, light, perfect, infinite, timeless being of thought, consciousness, love, compassion, truth, life, all-being, all-th","and it's also an expression of the Absolute, that's the Absolute of the Absolute that's the name that I give to God, but it is also the Absolute of fo","... I have a body. I have a being. I have an entity. I have been here since I came into existence. I am this, and it is me, and I am a body","a wave of coldness. Now, this coldness is an image. It is the coldness that comes from the presence of the void. I do not know whether the void exists","I don't think there's much to be done about it. I've tried, and I've been to see the experts, but nothing seems to make a difference, because there is","the word 'dream,' if it's a good word, it's the word that contains the whole universe of existence. The word 'dream' is the whole universe, if it's no","I'm so lonely, so much a part of it, it's so wonderful, so amazing. I'm here. It's so beautiful, so wonderful, my God. This is so wonderful and","the consciousness, the spiritual experience, the awareness, that comes from knowing that it is you that you are. It is not something external. It's no","and we are, we are, I'm not sure whether I'm a part of God or I'm part of this God. I think that's a really interesting question, it is. I don","you have to take care of it... you have to see what's going on... you have the capacity to perceive... there's no need for any effort... there is noth","I see a forest in my mind. It's a very large forest, but it's only a little bit of it. There's a big part of it that's just blank, and I can","And yet it is possible to do it. You have to do it, and you can do it. But you have to be in contact with the eternal now. You can't do it if you","Now, I think this is my conscious mind. I can feel it, I'm feeling it, I can see it. And so I think this thing that I'm conscious of, that I'm","this is what it feels like when there's a strong feeling, a strong sense that something is going on, something is coming, and you are having a strong ","I have been working a lot with the idea that we have no idea of what we want until we are born, and that the idea that there is an ego in us that is i","I'm going to tell you something I've been saying to myself for years, and it's been very helpful. We all have an identity, or several identities. I'm ","the Universe, in its vastness, in its depth, in its immensity, in its infinity, and in its beauty, it is also the consciousness of the self, of the ot","the way in which we've evolved to become what we are today, the fact that our existence is defined by our thoughts and our consciousness, our percepti","And so I say, what is this space? I know, it is an image. It is a place, an image that is space, and the space is this image. But I also know","now, you see that the meaning of this is, that there is no such thing as a truth. Because that is all, if you consider that there is a truth, that wou","and, at the same time, I have a sort of sense of what is the possibility of the present moment, the possibility of existence, and the possibility of b","and that is why it is important to be able to make oneself aware of the whole, of the process of the whole. I have to understand that my mental activi","I think I see a series of patterns which would be a good way of putting it, that there are patterns in our existence and there are also patterns which","now I can feel a whole lot of things. I can feel that there is a tension in the room, I can feel this tension. And then I can feel it's a kind of tens","and we know that the universe is alive. And that it is an infinite and eternal being, that it is alive. You see, the universe is an infinite, eternal ","in a sense the whole universe is a computer and a conscious entity. So that the computer is conscious, in a sense, and the computer is not conscious. ","It is this question: What is this thing, this thing that we are talking about, this thing which we are trying to communicate. What is this? What is it","I've just realized that you need to have some kind of theory about what is the nature of consciousness for the study of consciousness to make any kind","I can see how the structure of the mind is the structure of time. But the time structure is not a temporal structure. It is a structure that is like t","a feeling that something is missing, that there is an empty space in consciousness, which cannot be described. I'm aware that it has to do with time, ","I've got to make this clear, you've got to understand that the reason I'm asking these questions is in order to help you, it's in order to give you th","what is consciousness, what is it for, and where is it located, and how does it relate to our minds and brains and to other minds and brains. This see","so I am, in the context of the problem, a social being; I am also an individual being, in the sense that I am also a physical being, or a part of the ","And if you want to go further into the consciousness, and to realize that consciousness, and go deeper and deeper into it, it's not enough to think an","[it's a] sort of like a book that [is] about a character, and the book [is] also about me, the book [also] is about the process of creation and","and I'm in some kind of state of being that's very deep. I'm like I'm a star and the earth is like a tiny little dot in the universe. I don't know wha","we're going to find a way to make these two things happen in the right order, which is very hard to do in the real world, so we're going to have a lit","I think that a thought is a perception. That a thought is something like a perception. ... I think that thought is just the process of a perception, j","It's just a matter of a different perspective, isn't it? A different point of view, a different level of abstraction... And it's really a matter of ho","and now I think of some other time where I was on a desert island and there's a man standing there, and he's asking me, 'What can you do for me?' And ","you know, if we had to do it again, we'd have to do it over again, or something. Then we would have to do that again, and that again, until we come to","and I'm just beginning to realize how difficult it is to be in touch with your own inner self. To be in touch means to know yourself. It means to be i","It's very nice that we can see that there's a connection between the mind and the body, that the body's a mirror of the mind. But, on the other hand, ","I'm very happy, and at the same time I'm aware that the more happy I get the more I am aware of myself and the more I realize that I am a part of some","now I am thinking about how to say this. I have a feeling that there is some underlying unity, some underlying coherence to all of this. So, it is lik","there is some very fine material here, but it's very hard for me to focus on it. It's not quite clear enough yet. But if I could go further into the m","what is the difference between an idea and a thought? A thought is something that exists and is the product of the mind, an idea is an idea that exist","the whole thing is an illusion, the body is an illusion... a piece of matter that has no meaning... it is the illusion of meaning, and of life, of ide","and that is my problem, that is my current problem. So that is the reason why I am here, to ask for guidance. There is a feeling of something that is ","this is the path to understanding. If we know something we cannot say it out loud. If we think we can't say it out loud we do not know it. If we canno","myself, as a matter of fact, has the feeling of being a little bit too small. And I think that the problem of size is a very important problem in the ","the way we talk to each other is important; I talk to you in a different way than I talk to myself. I speak with myself in a way which is like a dream","and the light, which is not light, is light itself. That's what the light is. It is not the same thing as what we ordinarily think of as light. We kno","and I am, for example, thinking of a piece of writing that I did of a few days ago. I had made a kind of picture of an old woman who was very beautifu","And I'm standing in the kitchen of the hotel, and I have to get into the bed and put on a dressing-gown and the little trousers and then a shirt, and ","and in my right hand, that was my great-grandfather's sword; it had been in his hand when he fell at the battle of Fontenoy in 1722. He was","And this is all I have to do and that's all I can do; I must have a great deal of patience with it all, and I must bear my cross, and that's the best","Oh, but there's no way that this could have been the reason why this happened, to that poor little girl who was killed, with the terrible stab wounds ","and it was a pleasant scene, but they were not in a garden. They were in a room. I do not know whether it was a room, or whether it was an apartment. ","a dark, dark, dark place, where nobody could ever see you, and that's why they would kill you. No man, no woman, no child. No man that could see you,","You see, you see, the reason I am so determined to go to her, is because I am quite sure of it. I have thought it over for many nights; I have felt it","And I do not like that, I don't like that; but if I don't go, I don't know what shall become of the child. I will go to her, for the love","a great deal of it, you see, is all wrong, and you know it, and you would be ashamed to read it. You do not understand how the things of which you are","And I saw a little man, a very little man, who came in and stood by my bedside, and held my hand and wept and cried out. I said: 'Why dost thou we","and I am thinking I ought to have given the cat a bowl of water. I remember I had put the cat in a box, and the cat had come out, and said 'What has b","you could just as well do it on purpose, and just as well say no, because then you'd say, 'I don't want you to go down,' and he'd say, and I","and we must find a way, for I know we can, I know we must, we shall, we shall find a way; and we shall find it in the end. Do you think that","The face of the man who was going to murder me. The face of the woman who was going to kill me, the face of the one who was going to break my heart an","I don't know, I don't know. I don't even know why I'm saying this, I don't have any reason for it, and I've always been able to do it without","I'm lying in the middle of this room. I'm lying in the room, in the middle, with my back to the wall. I'm dying. I'm going to die. It's","I can see. And then they would be on my side of the river, I can see that. And the man would be sitting there, the other man, and he would be with me,","And it was always the same, for all that I was ever in her company, or for that matter for all that was ever in the company of her father and mother, ","And it is so easy to get caught up in these things, and to let them dominate you, to be lost in them. You know that it's not as if there aren't any ot","It is the same here. You, my dearest, you mustn't let it get out. You mustn't say that I am insane. You must take care of me. I am","but I am a good soul, I tell you, and I'm not going to commit suicide. I can't think of anything else than that, for my mind is all agitated, and my","there's a thing going on in my mind, and it's not easy to describe it, but it's something like a dream, or rather, it's a dream which has happened to ","The light came on the way we were going. We were going to the camp. And there was a light before we came to the camp, and it was like a light that a w","I shall never find out what my mother was like. I have seen the picture and I have seen a man, and he was not my father, though he was a man of the sa","I feel I have a right to complain. I would like to know what is the right of the woman who lives with us. I don't know anything about the history of h","and I think I should go, and the Lord's name is to be mentioned in this place. Oh, I would rather have this place, than all the countries that the Lor","that's why they have a garden at the top of the mountain. You see, they were making a temple, and they took all the stone from the temple, and built t","now I'm thinking of those who don't know Him, those who are still in the dark. It's a hard thing to be a Christian in such a time as this, because men","and we were all on the move and in the evening we had to move from one house to another. It was a great night, a great night. I never knew such a nigh","I am in a very special relationship with this place. I was a young boy, and I had a cousin, a little brother, who was my playmate, and the one who was","Now that you're at my home, my home, what did I say to you before, about my home, and about your own? I didn't mean that I had a bad home. My","and then the light came on. The light was the moon. And the moon shone through the window, and the wind was blowing, and the sea was roaring, and the ","and if the people had their way, that is to say, if the people, who have had so much to do with the past, had their way they would have thought of eve","and it's quite beautiful, my little world. What's your name? What is it? What is your name? Your name is not important. I'll never know it. It's not i","a sort of ... the way a ... a sort of... an electrician or an ... or a ... a ... an artist would draw a sort of diagram to indicate the lines and wire","the light and the shadows are so full of meaning that I don't know how to tell it to you. I know how to speak about the light and the shadow, but I ha","and he said, 'Let my body go into the sea, for I have been dead two days,' and he said, the angel of the Lord took him and put him on a white horse an","I was a little disappointed at the time, for it was a fine thing. They were not my own. I was a little puzzled about the whole thing, but, as I was go","I'm just so happy that it's coming to an end. I'm so happy that we've got that great day of the sun out, and I can't help feeling it's almost over wit","and in the same way that a child's hand might fall upon the way of God's mercy, and the child had not a thought of it, the child's hand fell upon God'","this is my house. ... this is my home, my house. It's a good thing I've got a good house, I must say. The walls are good, they won't fall down","and it's got a little thing like that there on its forehead. It's got a great many, I suppose, but there's a little one on its forehead, as you would ","and we would like to tell you all about the new ways of living here, the new things that are going to happen here in the New World. We shall show you ","in the beginning of the world, there was an abyss of dark water. A shadowy giant rose up out of this water, the figure of a giant man; he was the firs","I had no one to whom to turn for help or consolation, no one with whom to speak about the secret things, no one to give me a little share of his suffe","I'm here in the country. You see, the country is here, the city is there. It is so dark here that I do not see the city. I can feel it is there,","the man had been talking to his mother about the old days and how he had come to the American continent. The man had come from the south of Ireland. H","and a little later, on the other side of the world, some other person would have a little girl. And that little girl, in time, would have a baby, a ba","the night of the 24th [of July, 1969, the day of the Apollo 11 moon landing] I had the feeling that my son was walking through my","the Lord has put in our hands the key to a future which is going to be much more important than this one. In our time, the new world is being born, th","I'm not sure how to use my hands. I mean, if I were to pick up a cup, I might hold it upside-down in my right hand, and if I was to make tea","the universe of our lives. So in a way it's like, you know, the universe of our thoughts is bigger than the universe of what is actually seen and hear","the night, the night, it is night. I'm not sure that the night has to be an enemy. Night, the night is an enemy for those who don't have it. It's","I'm not going to go down the way the world is going. There's something that I want to do. I'm going to create a world. I'm not going to be a slave to","this is a problem that I've been having for a while now. I have a problem that's been bothering me for a long time. I just can't get over the fact tha","The work on the whole is one of my strongest works. I have to say, that I feel that it is a very important work. But in a way, it's also a very strang","the face of the people is always in me. That is what it means for me to be a man and a man of the people. I do not, I cannot think of the people, the","the ancient world is always the same, because it is the only thing that is always the same. It is the most stable thing, and it is also the most unsta","... [S]o, I remember a time in which there was this rather, a very strange, rather, a strange group of people living in this region and, I mean, this ","I'm on the way to the end, I think. I'm on the edge of this book now, I am, I feel it. I am on the verge of the end of this book","I'm going to live in the wilderness. I'm going to go into the wilderness and be a prophet. I am going to have my vision of the world. And I'm going to","a thought about the woman in the golden cage... this was the first time I was able to observe, with no filter, a woman in the cage. In this case it wa","I am looking out to the sea, the sun is going down. It is the moment of death in a way. And so, there is a connection between death and birth. Everyth","Now, I am going to put myself back into the old place, and I am going there, I am making my way there. And I am going through the world, and there is ","the self is the creation of a mind that has come into being with the help of others and which, having reached its maturity, is capable of making its o","this is a part of my life that has a lot to do with what we're doing now. Now you're saying something, but that doesn't mean that we are living in tha","and I'll go on to say that they all have in common that the fact that it is impossible to stop thinking, that one is always thinking, and that one thi","this is just an image. It is just an idea. It is not a thought. It is an idea, not a thought, it is just an imaginary idea. It's an image, it","I was sitting in a house... in a world that had been created by a man called God, a god, who had been a man. But he had become a god by virtue of his ","I am in the room. I am in my room. It's a strange room. It has a strange shape. It has strange things in it. There is a table. There are things on","and we're just all in this big and endless space, and I feel like there's a big box of wood in front of me, and this box of wood is very empty. I'm ju","and, in fact, it's possible to have this image of what's inside the skull, this space in which I'm surrounded, in which I move, and in which the brain","I will look for a place to write down and set down the ideas that are coming into my mind. In the same way I'm looking for a place where I can go and ","you're in your bed at night, and it's late, and you have a thought that you should be doing something, you should be going somewhere, or doing some pr","and if you are not aware that you are, the illusion of being, of being a subject, becomes possible. In the absence of awareness of your identity, all ","there are many forms of beauty, and in many senses it is different, and so is the beauty in the same thing that is beautiful in a different sense. In ","a memory of the early morning hours in the place of birth. A very strange, and quite strange and quite beautiful, morning. The air was so pure and so ","the sun has gone up, the sun has gone down, the sun is in the middle of the day, the sun comes in all directions. The sun is the one that sees us, the","and it's true, my life has a purpose. The purpose of my life is to become myself, and so the purpose is in the process, and so my life has purpose, an","I can't tell you, I can only see, I can't talk to you. You are not present. You are there in a different space, in another place. And this is the reas","what is this thing that we call time? It's like a cloud. I look at it and I don't see it. I have an image of a cloud of some sort, a luminous","I have a thought that you will know what this is if I show it to you. And you will be able to show it to others. It will be known to all that it has b","it's all a question of how we have to orient ourselves. ... It's a question of the relation of the individual to the universe, and it's the same quest","the black hole of space is a form of emptiness, not a void, as the empty void would be a lack of form. If you try to grasp the void, you will never ar","And I just think that if I'm going to use the word 'thing' then it's going to be some kind of substance that is not limited in space and time, that ca","a part of the mind, or the brain, is doing something else, but is not conscious of it, it is a part of consciousness which is unconscious, and which i","[A]ll the things that we perceive in space and time as objects of perception are in themselves processes of cognition. They are processes which we can","the dark and light of the moon, the sun. The stars, the planets. The constellations. The different aspects of the sun: the yellow, the white, the red,","but I have the impression that I am actually doing it. That's it. That is the thought itself. And in this thought there is the fact of doing and the f","you know how you're kind of, you know, you can't go anywhere without seeing the world, you know? You see it. It's not as though it's only there when y","my body is made of energy, of the cosmic energy; this energy is created by the vibrations of my body, by the movement of my body... all of the atoms t","I think about what I call the body of the world. This is a body of all the atoms of which the world is composed, and the world as such is nothing but ","we are the ones who create the universe. We are the ones that are the cause. And this is very important to remember, because in a world that is create","and then I've got to make an attempt at it in the real world, that is, if I'm going to make any progress. That means, of course, that I have to have a","the world is full of noise and light, and people, and that noise and light and people are just the thing. It is that which we do not know about this w","so you can think of it as the second person, so that when you think of something, it's actually the second person who is thinking, but the first perso","you can see your future. You can see your past and see how things have come to be the way they are. You can get a sense of what you have been doing in","I see that all of the elements of a particular space, like a room, are the same. I see that it's one of my elements, a place or a location, a room in ","the colors I see are, for lack of a better word, different from the colors I experience. When I see colors I experience colors, which is a very differ","and here the idea arises: to develop the body and the mind in such a way that we have the same experience of the body as we do of the mind and vice ve","you are here, you are not there, you are here... you are not in the past or in the future. You are just here, in the present. ... The present moment i","that I have to know, before I can understand anything, is that I have no knowledge of anything. To know is to know that one is ignorant, to be ignoran","and then there was the wind. And then there was that which I was. I was a little black boy, a little black child, a little bit black, a little boy, an","and it's going to go on and on... it's a very rich thing, it's an eternal thing, and the eternity in itself is a very great thing, and in a certain se","you're a ghost. You're not really here, but you are. You can be anything that you want to be. You're the first person that I ever met that I understoo","I can't speak the name of the person who made the name. That is the problem. You can see it, the thing, the object. But not the name, the name is lost","I'm on my way to a meeting with you. I'm going to take a little time to see what it is. I have been a little surprised that you've come into the room ","the first moment of my thought is a moment of emptiness. It's the first moment without anything, and I have to understand how can something arise from","now I've come to a different situation. I've come out of the darkness, and I'm standing in a light, but it's the light of my own thought. And so it se","the state of the heart. The heart is the place of all the possibilities, it is the place where I am always and everything is always. The heart has no ","the old man...I was in the car going home...I saw a white car coming...I was sitting in the car with him...I was watching the car come...the white car","a little of what you have to know about yourself is not here. This is the body, you have to go through that in order to have more and more contact wit","this is not a 'story' as we normally think of stories. I don't know how you would define a story, but it's not a story. It's a language. It's not","I am thinking about you, you are thinking about me. I am thinking about your thoughts, you are thinking about my thoughts. And this is happening right","I can feel that I am in this moment, this breath. I am not thinking, I am not talking, I am just experiencing. But the experience itself has its own s","and the world around me is here and in here and everywhere at once, in every direction, and also not in any direction at all, in this instant. And eve","now I'm thinking of my house in the city. I see it, I see myself and I'm going up the stairs to the living room and the living room is just empty. No ","I feel that it was a gift when I had a son. I felt it, and it came to me as a gift, a great gift. That is how I understand it. It was like","this is a question for all of us: what is the meaning of life? If there is no God, what is the purpose of life? In fact, the answer to this question i","And then there is this, in my mind. The self has this feeling, that is like a little star in the center of the brain, that feels it can only feel itse","the image of a human body, a human shape, being formed on a quantum level out of an oscillating, fluctuating field, with the oscillations being determ","it's funny how the mind works, I see the thought processes of myself in the future, how they will be in the future and how I will act in the future in","I see a number of trees and a lot of leaves on the ground. A lot of different trees. I don't know if they are trees or just branches or leaves. They a","it seems like this is a part of the brain. I don't know. This is a part that is more or less the same for all people. But what is it? It's just there","the tree trunk that is a river. It's a river of white, it's a river in the white that flows in the sky. It's white, it has a tree trunk, it has","and there's something about that I don't understand. And then there's something else about that I understand. And when I say something, I say it in tw","and when I started looking around this I had a kind of a mental picture of what I was seeing. The world around me looked like a grid and then I starte","this is a simple thing that happens in my head. There's a way in which I know where I'm going to go from here, and then it's as though my eyes are try","I am looking at a dark landscape... a landscape without any specific boundaries, only the landscape itself as a kind of abstraction... and I am lookin","I can see a little bit of a 'grating' between two layers of glass that are slightly curved, but there are also tiny irregularities of the two layers. ","there are these little pieces of things that come to mind, like when you have this vision of the world. It's just a very simple thing, but there's the","And it's almost like a tunnel vision, but it's a little bit more, a little bit broader, but it looks more like a tunnel, but a little bit like a tunne","and I'm imagining the sun coming up and I'm imagining this huge blue light coming out of the sun. And it's coming in different directions at once. It'","I have no idea why I am here, what I'm doing, where I'm going or where I'm coming from. But I know the moment I see the earth and then the space aroun","and you know what? I see the first five of the seven parts as being very similar to what I would call a little bit like an energy center or a channel ","the one who is, and the one who was, and the one coming, and the oneness that is all these, in that. The one who is here now, who is coming, who","and then I had the thought, oh, the sun is coming up, and then I had this thought that it was the beginning of the day, and the thought that the day w","And, my mind is empty, the emptiness of space is now in my mind, in my body. I see my body as emptiness, I feel my body as emptiness. I see","It's like I can't find anything in the center of the screen, or anywhere. And then it comes to me, that I can find the center of anything in the unive","And I want to live forever. I want to be immortal. And I'm not immortal, but I feel it. I feel it because I want it, so it happens, it becomes real.","there is a very subtle connection between the self and the non-self. The self is the infinite self which is the absolute. The non-self is the absolute","Now we are at the end of a cycle of time, where it is no longer possible for us to act in time. It is possible to have an experience of the present, b","[a]lways when something comes to me and it is very clear and it is really very beautiful, very clear and very beautiful, then the connection is very s","in this moment of silence, the awareness of the self and the body and the space and the time of the universe is present, and that is all there is in t","I am a soul that is becoming a soul. And the soul is becoming a Soul that is becoming the One. And the One is becoming One-ness that is One. And One-n","there were these two men, and they were arguing about something that had to do with the nature of existence. And as the conversation went on, it got t","I'm having an experience that is not coming from the senses, but is something that's being received, like an impulse, that's coming from the subconsci","The last thing I remember is my body falling down. I had a very vivid dream. I remember being in a tunnel. I was moving, but it felt like I was in the","a lot of sound is coming to me. There's an electric feeling in the left side of the body. The eyes move. I see a door opening. There's a feeling of a ","The hand has a wonderful, rich inner life of its own. It's so much like the mind, it has a flow of consciousness in itself. It is not that much differ","I am having a dream that I'm in the presence of a powerful, wise presence, and this presence is both known and not known at the same time, and it's th","And I know, it's not all the way here, but it's sort of, I can tell you I am not in a position of knowing where the boundaries are, what the boundarie","in a way, the brain is just a form of energy. It has no existence other than what it creates and what it can generate. It can be generated by us. It's","that the self is nothing more than a process of information exchange with the universe, and that everything we think is the expression of our interact","this is a very important thing, because I'm talking with you right now. The question is: am I talking with you or am I talking to myself? Is there any","And suddenly I have a very strong feeling of my own identity. I feel myself to be this particular person. I feel that there are no other possibilities","I wonder, the time to which I refer is the time in which the mind works and the mind is a temporal process; what is this time to which the mind refers","[T]hat's very interesting. We could talk about the brain and consciousness. So it's the brain. But what is consciousness? It is the ability to relate ","and then you know I just think about the meaning of life. And I'm just doing that in my head, I'm doing that in that way. It's not as if I'm thinking ","I think you might say that I've done it before, because I think I'm always doing it in a sense of awareness. I think that, as I'm thinking about this,","I have an image that I am looking at. I'm looking at a large triangle. I know that triangle is a two-dimensional representation, and that the third di","The more the self is able to enter the state of pure presence, the more the self will be able to act from that state, the more it will be able to let ","the relationship between the first person and the third person. The first person is the actual perception. It is the real experience. It is what is di","I am a child. I am a boy. I am here. I am seeing this thing. I am getting a sense of this thing. It's a body. I'm getting a sense that","you know what I'm thinking, right? You know what I'm experiencing. So, what you're saying is that there's no such thing as you, no such thing as me. I","I'm aware of a certain fact about this world, which I would like to get into the center of, to become aware of in my own being. I think about it. I'm ","I'm just starting to think about that. It's interesting that this thought is not there, but I can see that it's coming. I'm just thinking that it's ju","I'm sitting on a chair. I see a little ball of light hovering in the center of the room. I see the shape of a chair, but I don't feel sitting on a cha","It's a good thing that you're not talking out loud, because you are in fact talking out loud right now, and your inner self is having the same convers","now I'm thinking about the way in which I was born, as a form of conception, the process of the union of sperm and egg, and then the union of the soul","I'm having an experience right now... of being inside a field of pure energy, and it's so clear and pure, and it is a field of energy... and that ener","I'm in a place of being. This is not a place that is created by thought but is created by the movement of awareness and the movement of thought. So th","it's not there, but it's there... it's here and it's there ... it's like a relationship between here and there. It's like a time, a time-space, a rela","in a way, in the midst of this state, in the state of non-thinking, one can create the thoughts and then the thoughts can be thought of as an object t","now it's a little bit of the world, where we can't get a hold of things, of experiences that are happening right now, but that are still a little bit ","what are these sensations? I know it's me, but what is it? It's the sensation of a feeling or a thought or a sensation, or I'm just not sure, and it's","this is a moment of clarity that is being activated...this is the moment of clarity. The moment that has no reference to the world. It is the moment t","I can hear the sound of the water, the sound of my body, the sound from the outside. The sound of the room. The sound from the body. The sound, the bo","I see a black spot, and that's like a hole in the blackness that's all around me. That's a hole, and I see a little white spot right in the middle of ","I see a garden. I see a river and the river has a lot of water and I feel the water. I feel the coolness of the river, of the water, and I feel its","that's the same as the eye, the light in the eye that you see. The same as the light in your eye. When it is not active. This is the light that you ar","[there] was a little girl who had a black coat. It was made of feathers and she was flying. It was a beautiful flight. I saw a little girl. The light ","I think of a piece of light blue cloth and it's so beautiful, so blue, and I think it's really blue. It's so soft, so light and pure, so tender and bl","and my right ear is sensitive, it seems to be more sensitive. And it feels like an electric shock, it feels like electric shocks in my right ear, and ","I see myself floating. I feel so light. I feel the lightness. I see a beautiful golden light. I am in a warm golden light. My hands are like golden fl","I am surrounded by light, like a rose. I am a rose, I am the rose. I look at myself and I am a ray of light and a ray of water. I am water","the beginning of an image. ...The color red, I see red and ...and a shape ...that is very ...round ...that I recognize ...as an egg. The egg, it's flo","and then they would go up the mountain and they would build a house that would look like a rock. And the house would be a rock and it would move to wh","and it is as if there is a golden cord in me that connects me to my Father, and there is a part of me that is all connected to that, and all is made o","and I thought of a woman. A woman who is very beautiful. Her eyes are like a woman's. She was an artist, like the one that I was with the other night,","the sky is blue, the sun is shining, the earth is spinning around... the earth is slowly turning, the stars are rising, the world is beautiful, the mo","the same as always, as you are always. This is a thing that is always true. Always. You are the same thing always, as it always was. You are not here,","in this instant the eyes and the body of the person and the world of the universe, and the infinite depth of the heart and the infinite height of the ","and I will take that and turn it into music, and you will have to come to that music, and dance in it, and become it, and then, and then we will all b","And the light came in and turned into a flame and turned into the most beautiful, most beautiful, white light that I've ever seen. And I felt that it ","I'm watching the sun. It's about to set. And the sun is shining. It's so big and bright. The world is being lit up. The colors are so deep. The earth","Now I feel the floor on my feet and a wonderful feeling of lightness. I feel my feet and the floor of this room and the feeling of lightness, as I fee","I'm not sure why we can't be here together right now... I want to go on a journey through space, into space... And I want you to come with me... I wan","It's as if a kind of energy, or a light, is passing through the body, and I'm aware of that, and there's a warmth that comes through the body. I don't","I am here in the space...I can see all the colours of the sky, the blue sky, the white clouds, and I can see the green of the earth...the earth and th","and that's a white cat, a black cat and a little girl... a little girl is walking beside the cat and she is looking up at the sky and the sun is setti","the light and the colour of the light of the world...there is a beautiful green colour coming to the light... and the light is very intense and very p","a line from the song 'Soleil' (which means sun) ... 'solo... le soleil... sola... soleil... solo...' ... like a flute ... I'm seeing it","and they are little, little people that I can't see. They are so little that they are almost like smoke. And I can feel them in the air, and they are ","I am a painter. And I am a singer. And I live in my imagination. I love it. I can't leave it. I love the shadows in it. I am the shadows.","the voice from my brain, and I saw a black door in my mind, and it was the door that I've been to in the dream... and this door was opened by the voic","and then we will meet in the forest and we'll go back, and there we'll be in this forest, and we'll sit down on the ground, and we will rest, we will ","the whole world is in here, the whole world. That is, if you look very close. All the galaxies, the stars, the planets, all the other stars. All the a","and it is the same as with the sound of the guitar and the sound of the violin. It is a single sound. And the sound of all the sounds. And the silence","I have this, this picture of the world, a huge circle and then, inside, the world. And there are 5 little squares and those are the continents and the","And it was only when he said he was going to show me something that I realized that the world had changed. But it is only one thing that changed. Ther","I see a child with a red hair. The child is red. The child has two arms. The arms are red. The arms have four fingers. The fingers are red. There are ","I'm in a car... and... and I'm driving on the highway and... and the sun is shining... I am driving through a tunnel... there is a... I am... I am in","[...] the more it feels like I'm actually there, the more it starts to feel like I'm on the edge of this huge, vast, black hole and the more it become","And it was in this world I was, it was a world that was in darkness and light, and I was a world too, I was a part of the light and darkness, and I'm","and it's the last one. And it's a big, huge, enormous tree, with a very high tree-trunk, and it's the most beautiful, greenest, and the most beautiful","I remember you once said that we are all different and we all have different thoughts. Well, if we all have thoughts, then what's the point in saying ","the dark night of the soul... what it means is that... you don't have a soul and there are things that go on that you don't understand and you don't e","I think about the little boy who has just been born, who is really in pain, because it is a human being, and is really in anguish, because he does not","there's an image of the universe with two very long, very long arms. ... They're like two white arms of the universe that are trying to pull something","a big triangle of people, three people on a side, standing on three triangles, all triangles on triangles. And they have three people standing on the ","The little boy is sitting here. He's the same color as you, and he's got the same expression on his face, but he's not looking at me. I think he's loo","a few images come up in this picture and I'm sort of seeing it all over again, and it's like a beautiful painting that I'm looking at, and then I look","I was walking around on a path, in a forest, and I had a sword in my hand. There were many trees, and a lot of green things. I had a white, translucen","it's not just the surface of the brain; it's not the brain. The brain is a place that exists within the world. And when we talk about the brain, we're","I think of the stars in the sky. The light that we see is light that came from the star when it was much younger than it is now. It is light that has ","so we're in a valley here and we're walking and there's this giant tree on the horizon. Now you know, I can see trees from quite a long way away, you ","It's very strange. The Earth is moving, and it's getting faster and faster, and it'll be like a little tiny planet, like an egg, or a little tiny ball","the trees are bending with the wind, and it's spring. They're all green now, and the sky's full of butterflies, and I see them. And they're flying aro","then it was a tree of life, and the leaves were for the healing of the world. The tree of life had branches of gold and silver and iron, and leaves of","and as I look at it, I can see that the middle part of the circle is, I don't know, an open book, with the pages unfolded, with the words, with the le","in a moment I will say to you that the heart of the thing is not what it appears to be. There is no visible substance to it. It is simply the appearan","The road to heaven is narrow. The road to hell is wide. The road of the just is narrow and leads to heaven. The road of wicked men is wide and leads t","and I can see my own body, I am myself. I am myself, but I am also the mother, the father, and all other beings, because I am the mother of all beings","the things that are like a sea of clouds, but they are not clouds, they are not, are they clouds? And clouds are just things in space, the clouds are ","I am on my way to the country of the dream. I go to the river of dreams. The river is full of light and colour and the water of it is thick, almost as","this is a little something that's been around since I was little, a little something, I'm going to write it down and I'm going to tell you what it is.","and so the life of the whole human race will become the life of Christ, the life of all those who will be born in the new world of the future. That is","the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me, the most wonderful thing ever. That is to say, the most perfect moment. It is not only that I am he","but it was only a small piece of the whole. The whole, on the other hand, is that which is in you. You are the whole. It's as simple as that, you are","my love for the world. To have loved it, and have it not loved in return, to have loved it and to have been loved for nothing, not even in the smalles","and when I was a little child I was in heaven with the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and that was the first thing I thought of. Then I thou","my eyes open. And I see a great light shining down upon me and a beautiful woman stands before me and she says, 'Come on, come on, and go into the lig","that which is outside, as in the soul, is the same thing, that which is inside. That which is outside is a shadow, that which is outside that is the s","... I thought about the thought, how I thought about it. It's a rather old thought, very old. And it came from me, and I had no name for it. It came t","the sun... the sun rises and sets, and the moon moves in the heavens, the planets, and all the stars and constellations. These things are not objects,","there is a point where there is a decision. The decision of the person and of the universe. A person makes a choice, a person takes a decision, a univ","my idea is a new kind of time...a new kind of dimension, that is not in space...time is a dimension, a part of the universe that we experience. But it","the path to the realization of the Absolute, is to find out your own heart and soul. Then, if you have a body, the body is the Absolute and the heart "],["what I was saying, it's really a case of having a point of view, and I mean, I know, I know what that is. I've been through it before. I mean,","And that's the problem, is that you can't decide what to do. I think that the first thing you have to do is that you have to get a handle on your life","and I said, 'well, I'm not a very good chess player, but if you're a very good chess-player you're a better chess-player than me' and it was an awful ","and I was going to write a paper for school about this whole subject of human behavior. I was going to go and write a paper and just read the paper an","and then you look up and you don't know what you did and you have to look through it all again. I mean, it's really, like, you know, what was it that ","I'm having this really weird dream where I'm sitting at my desk and I have this little ball thing that's kind of like an egg, and it's a rubber ball a","it's kind of like a dream. It's kind of interesting to kind of make things up. Like what kind of a story are we going to make up? How do we want to st","I am in a library and I am reading this book and the book has pictures and words. This is an illustration book, a picture book. So, there are some pic","It's all about me. I don't want to do anything to get into a relationship because I feel like I'll be taking on so much more work. It's all about me, ","the way I would think about it, when I first got into that, is that I would think, I know what I want, I want to go to the store, I want a latte","I'm starting to think that I'll get a little tired and then I won't be able to get back into it. It might be too hard to get back in because I have al","Iโ€™m in an emergency room. Itโ€™s 40 minutes into my shift. The patient just got cut off. Theyโ€™re bleeding out. Iโ€™ve never dealt with bleeding out before","and we had that first group, and that was about, I don't know, I had it on a Friday night, I had a bunch of friends over. And I, we did like,","it's really funny, I don't know where this is coming from, but I was like, what is this book? And I was like the book that I'm thinking about is the b","and that's when you kind of look like, you look like you're in this sort of a like a like a mental like you're like you're you're like, you're not eve","and I'm like, no I can do this, you know, I can do it I can just be like I'm doing this with the client, I'm doing the things I know how to","and it's like, there's the first time that i didn't know what to wear to school. And then i got this little like, this little white card with some lik","I have been having this dream. And I think the last one was kind of... it was more like a... I was in this, like... I don't remember it exactly, but I","I'm thinking about the time that my girlfriend and I were in high school, and we were kind of having a rough time with each other. We didn't like each","the whole of your life's going to be a constant grind. It's going to feel like you're in a factory or some kind of...thing, and you're just going to b","and it's like, I have to stop talking about the details of how this conversation started. Because I don't want to be too vulnerable and open. And I'm ","I remember I had a little bit of an anxiety issue when I first started working from home. I mean, I felt like I was kind of an odd duck, I'm like, 'Wh","I'm sitting here, like, in my room, and I'm like, I feel so disconnected, and I feel like I'm kind of like, lost in my own thoughts. Like, I","I was in the park yesterday... and there was this girl there and she was sitting in the grass... and then I started feeling jealous and like I was try","Iโ€™m a fan of that movie, The Big Sick. Thatโ€™s a good one. And I guess thatโ€™s kind of weird because Iโ€™ve never met anybody who has like a serious relat","I guess it's...maybe a little bit of both? You know, I really like both the ways that this band is playing. I don't know...I think I would probably le","it's been like 10 years, right? like 15 years, it's been a while since i had a dog. And i think it would be pretty cool if i had a","what if the whole world was just like this and everyone was happy? And we'd all be together, and we'd just be, you know, whatever it is, just chillin'","[my] neighbor [is] really weird, but I'm not scared of them. I've never been scared of them in the past. But they're really weird, and I kind of hope","I can't believe I've done this for so long and I can't do this anymore... I want to go back to when I was 19 because that was just the best time of my","I wonder if the police are in contact with other people that I know, I don't think I was as careful with who I shared my number with as I should have ","I remember back when I was in college and I was like in a group of friends that were very like-minded. And we were like very into spirituality and lik","And you're thinking that there's always going to be more people, and you don't want to deal with it, right? Because you think it'll never be that bad.","and I remember, like, I was so proud of my mom when she had like a car accident, she was driving down the street and just went into this huge pothole ","and then I just think it's like, it's like a normal thing and it's like you're a normal thing. I think it's just like, I don't know, it's just","and you know how when you're at the gym you just have a little like a song playing in your ear and like that it kind of keeps you going and you know i","and I think I know what it would feel like if I had like a tattoo and I put like a like a tattoo on my leg and then I was like 19 or 20 like","my name is Nicole...and Iโ€™m gonna start with a random thought that came in my brain and Iโ€™ll say that out loud...and itโ€™s just this image of a really ","I feel a little bit like I've been on a lot of these videos, but this one feels like I'm just kind of a random person that's like talking about whatev","and like you said like that one song, I was like, 'what the fuck was that?' And then it just goes in and it's like, 'fuck, you know, you know it","you know how when you're like really stressed out you start like doing all these little weird stuff or weird little noises? You know I like have a lik","the thing that bugs me is like when like, it's like, I feel like like I'm like, I'm like this like, I don't know, I'm just like, I've","this is a lot like when I'm playing video games and I'm doing it, and I'm like, 'this is so bad, I'm playing this game.' And then I'm like '","[coughing] [coughing] cough, and that's what's been going on. [cough] I'm in a party tonight [cough]. [coughs]","I'm thinking about my family, they're all here, they're happy and they're smiling. And my dog's a big furry, and he's licking my face and he's like, l","I was just wondering what was the purpose of having these sessions...just for fun or to get to know myself and my mind? And that's the thing I really ","so the thing is that I feel that I should try and stop and get some more rest cause like my brain is just like it's not functioning properly at all an","And so, like I said, I had a moment of... uh, like, I was like, I think, like, if I would have, if I was like in a really bad,","what is like if I don't have my hands...I'll have to be like this. If I don't know how to make a hand, then I'll make a hand like...a...","the last 30 years, and now i'm like... it's so weird how it's like, 1992, 1987, 1957,","and i feel like i'm on a rollercoaster or something like that, i feel like im in a loop, but im like, i dont want to be here, but im stuck here,","my best friend's boyfriend is still in the hospital from like the worst car accident and I'm like seriously this is like the worst day I've had in my ","i want to get on a plane to houston and see my mom, like tomorrow, she's been home for about a month and a half now and she's still very upset about t","I'm sitting on this couch with a 737 that has just landed at O'Hare. My brain is racing. I'm panicking about my son's wedding and that the airport is","I have the feeling that it's almost like a very dark place, where there's just like a really, really small amount of light, you know? And you're in th","just got my hair cut today like I always get it cut at the same place... and they did it really fast and it's fine. I'm gonna leave it like this. I fe","the thing is, like I told you yesterday, I was kind of like, I don't really know why I was like this, like I was just so... I was so sad, I was","I'm not sure. I don't want to say that because then I'll be judged and I'll be like, 'Oh my god, I'm so stupid for thinking that I'm like this","my whole life I just have this like, 'why can't I just relax' feeling... I'm like, 'I'm going to keep getting worse, I don't have a clue.' And","this is weird...why do I have this feeling...is this something that happened when I was 14? Is that the cause? Or is this just...because I don't have ","I just feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of thinking. I keep thinking about things that make me feel anxious or sad, and I can't shake it off. It's li","I have to get the other two. I don't know. I don't like this feeling of being alone. I'm so angry. I feel so bad right now. Why am I so angry","and then I think about the future and how I don't want it to be like this anymore. I don't wanna be like this all the time. I think about how I don't ","you know I have this really bad habit of thinking about the future, like I always worry about what will happen if I lose my job and how my life will b","and itโ€™s funny because, Iโ€™m like, if we had a fight with you, I think Iโ€™d actually be better off if we never talked again, like I donโ€™t know what the ","i think the next time i go on a date with my boyfriend i'm gonna get really drunk and have a good time, and not let him call me because i'm really mad","and we're also trying to get our old house, because I think, we were trying to sell it, but we never sold it so, like, we're like, we want to, I","[T]hey just keep showing up, you know, and it's like a reminder to me that I'm not alone. And so, it just, you know it's kind of like a","Iโ€™m gonna go back to my place and make a snack. I havenโ€™t eaten. And then Iโ€™m gonna just take a nap. Iโ€™m just tired. Iโ€™m tired of this. This","this is one of the best days, ever. I feel great. I'm gonna go out tonight and do the usual things. I'm a lot happier than I was last night. I feel li","I feel like my life is good right now. I've been feeling a lot better lately. I feel like I'm in a really good space. I've had a lot of stress and anx","and I think I'm feeling a little bit like, I don't know, I don't feel like, I feel like I'm, like, I've been so exhausted for so long and now","I feel like I'm starting to feel a little bit more like myself. Like I'm getting back into this place of feeling good, and I feel like I have a lot of","I've been thinking about, I've been, I've had some dreams, I'm a bit scared of, of the dreams I'm having now. I just have one thing in my mind.","I'm just really feeling like I'm not doing very well, and I feel like I'm falling apart, and I'm trying to stay strong and keep my head together, and ","I feel like my mind is all over the place. I'm really distracted and I'm just trying to focus on one thing but I'm not really getting anywhere with it","And now I am thinking, I've been in a lot of different situations, with a lot of other people, I'm doing the same thing, I'm not, I'm just doing the s","I'm tired of being tired. It's not a great feeling to have this constant state of exhaustion, especially when I try to do things that usually energize","I'm starting to feel a bit of anxiety about the future and all that. I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I'm constantly stressed and over","[I think about] all the things that happened yesterday, or this morning or in the past, I think about what I want to eat. I want to get some ice cream","I feel so alone. I am so lonely. It is like I have no one to turn to, even my friends, my family, it's like no one can help me. I feel so","it's like I don't have a lot of energy left. I have a lot to do. I have to eat more because I don't want to be hungry and I need to go to the","you know, I have had a lot of really good things happen to me in my life that have changed me. You know, like when you, you're like, I mean, you know,","I have no idea why Iโ€™m here, really. I feel a lot of frustration around all of that stuff. And I donโ€™t feel like I have any control over anything that","and then when I started reading that book, which I have to give you credit for, the other person was like, you know, it's like you said, you know you ","so you know, I just remembered something funny that happened to me last week, and this is like, you know, what I told my mother like, she's like, oh, ","I feel like I'm having a very strange experience. I think it's a good sign that I've been feeling very down, and now I'm having this strange feeling t","and I feel like I'm trying to do so much that I don't have any room for just taking things at face value and taking things as they come... it feels li","I think I don't know what I want to do with my life. Like, I don't have a clear plan. I don't really know what I would want to do for my whole career","I really feel like a robot, because I am so, you know, I feel like I'm a robot sometimes when I think about everything that's going on around me. It's","I've been working in the public sector for a while and I just I feel like I just feel like I'm getting older and my boss is getting younger and you're","and I have had a lot of difficulty with like, just even getting comfortable with the whole, just, like, the idea of having this conversation. Like Iโ€™m","you know, and I think there's this whole thing where it's like, you know, you think that if you don't have anything else to do and you don't get the j","I've been thinking about going to an aquarium, like it's been like, I think it's been maybe like a few weeks, like maybe like, I don't know, I think I","I have no idea what's going to happen at work today. I just have no idea. It's like I'm always like a machine, I have no choice. I have to go to work","I just remembered a thing that happened to me where I was like, 'What is this? This is just like a movie. Like, it's happening in front of me and it's","this is kind of like the whole concept of the book of life...i mean it's like we are all basically...all we all basically get the same thing...you get","I've been having this dream about like my daughter got killed in a car accident and I was like, 'I didn't have a chance to say goodbye, I didn't say g","my mind is wandering so much. I'm so distracted I don't know what I'm even doing. I'm really bad at staying focused. I'm just, like, this is all happe","I don't know what happened to me today, I'm like a robot. I was really doing something and I don't even realize what I'm doing, I'm just like, it's ju","what am I doing here? This is so weird. I have to have a plan. I have a list. It's like this... I have to make sure I'm getting good feedback. I","I think you're right. You're right. I have been. I have a lot of things to clean up in my life. I don't know. I'm going to make a list and","I've just had a thought about a friend I'm trying to reach. It's been a while since we spoke, so maybe it's worth sending a message to say hello. I wo","I wonder if I would still be single. If I would still be a single person. It's a bit of a shock to hear that I'm single. I'm single, but I'm a","I feel a lot more like I have to be strong. I feel a little more confident and I feel like I'm a bit stronger. I'm still not confident enough, but I'm","my last class. I am the last class. You have to be the last class and the last student in your class. It's going to be a hard time because I am still ","I don't know if it's important, but I have to get up early. I want to get up before 6. It's a long way. I'm trying to get up at","so I'm feeling like I'm doing all these tasks, but I don't want to do anything that requires effort because I feel tired and stressed out and I don't ","the same, the same. The same, the same, the same and same. So... I need to sleep. I'm so tired. I need to go home. I need a break.","I think about how I want my kids to grow up in a healthy, loving environment. And I also think about how much I need to support myself to be able to p","I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I know it's been a long time since we've been in touch, but I miss you and I wish we could hang out soon. I","I'm just thinking about like, you know, my girlfriend. It's like, you're like, you're a bit of a stranger at the moment. You know, like, you've been","my phone has gone silent for about an hour. It was probably on silent mode and I didn't realize it until now. It's really interesting how much of my d","it's been a while since I've been home. I haven't been home since my last day in school. I know I'm probably going to be back to work, but I haven't h","I just realized, that's really strange that, it's funny, that we were just talking about the work that I was doing at the company, and that's actually","I feel like I'm in this crazy, weird place right now. It's like a sort of a dream world where things are happening, and it's just really surreal. I fe","I had an interesting dream that I think I shared with you, it was like we were in a party with a bunch of other people and I remember talking to one o","I'm sitting in bed right now. I'm not feeling very well. I'm tired, I think it's a combination of just being so busy lately, and just needing to slow ","you know you got a little bit of an extra cost this week because of the birthday that was last week. So, the, the, I guess the, I would say the extra,","I have this picture that I want to make but it's hard to get the money together... I don't know... I don't want to go back to my day job... but I don'","and just like that, like, it's like it's like, you know, like, they're like, they kind of like, they don't like to do it because they're like they","the thing I feel is like a lot of anxiety in terms of, like, the future, you know? So it's like, what is the future going to be like? You know, what","I'm doing this thing right now where I'm just kind of making up this like a like a story about what the like how like the weather is like and then I'm","I was looking at the paper, and I was like, I was just like, I'm a little tired of seeing this like, you know, like, I don't know how I want to","so, I was like, yeah, but I thought I was going to have a baby with a friend, but, and I thought that I was going to be a mom, but I wasn't","so I was talking to some girl at the gym, I don't know if you've met her? And it was like, you know, I was like, hey, wanna get a beer together","my little dog, who is about 2 years old, has been a great companion for me. He's been with me since I was a teenager. He's always been there for me. I","I'm trying to think of some ways that I can improve my writing skills and find writing prompts. I don't know if I can really think of anything that's ","I'm not a good writer, but I'm getting there. I've been working on it for a while and it's starting to show. I'm still working on my grammar, but I've","the people are so stupid, like, why are they all saying, they're just saying like, you know, that's what you're supposed to say, that's the way you're","I had a lot of anxiety, but I didn't really have anything to say because I didn't want to say it and I was just thinking to myself like, 'I need to sa","and then I was like, 'Oh, I forgot to ask my wife to put the potty in my car. My car is so messy. It's like there's a baby in there,","you know I'm just a regular girl I just work as a manager at a gym and I just really I guess I'm really stressed about the money right now like I'm wo","it was the same guy that called me before and he was just like oh hey you have like 5000 dollars. It's just like wait. Like he like told me to get a","I'm kind of going to go into a little bit of a rant about the way that I feel about this whole situation with my wife, so, um, so, so, so, you know","I had a question. So you're like, I don't know, what's the difference between like, uh, if I'm like a person, you know, and like a non-person?","I'm thinking about my boyfriend, he's not here and I'm just talking to you and you're like, hi, my name is Jess... but it's like, what do you want to","I was gonna do this. But I don't know how to do it. I don't really know how to write a blog. I donโ€™t know if you've ever seen the Iโ€™m a","I'm really bored right now. I have nothing to do. I don't feel like doing anything. I could just play some games. Maybe I should get some snacks or so","I'm feeling a little bored, I think. I think I'm bored. I'm feeling like I need to do something to break the monotony of the day. Maybe I'll go take a","I'm still having a hard time finding an image that is relevant to what I'm working on, I feel like I need a specific image, like a specific scene that","I feel like I'm being...I feel like there's some sort of... I don't know, maybe it's just that I've been feeling like I'm... like I'm not quite on","[i]t's always been a struggle for me to maintain a balance between [my] various interests and responsibilities. I find that when I prioritize one area","you know, my car's been making a noise in the middle of the night, so I've been trying to figure out what's going on. I'm gonna have to take it to a m","and my grandma was like, yeah, she was in the army and like, you know, she did some really cool stuff. And I was like, well, you know what, she did al","you know, there are people like, like, you know, like, I've been meaning to try and go on one of those, you know what I mean like, you go on a like","you know that the, I don't know if you've heard, I've been reading about the fact that they're trying to, like, the whole country is like trying to li","you know when you're in the middle of a phone call, you're like, oh I've got to take this call. And you're on the phone with your friend like you're g","I'm on my way back to work. So I've been looking at the weather, I've been wondering what's going on, I mean, we have a lot of rain here, and I","like the whole time I have been listening to these podcasts, I have been thinking, you know, I've been doing this for, I think, I don't know how many ","you know... when we talk to you we make a... you know... I don't know... a tape recorder... or something... I don't know but it's just... like... it's","the song's about love, and it says that when you're in love, it's a whole different world, and it's like you can see everything in a different way. An","and if we are talking about the universe, the universe is a whole lot more like a black hole than a galaxy. A black hole is a singularity of space-tim","and I remember one time we were in the park and we were playing with this toy and it fell and then I looked around for it and I thought it was dead. S","then, in front of him, there is a... a man and a woman. And a man with a blue shirt and a man with red shirt. And they were having a picnic, and he","there's this huge house. and there's a big bed. and a big chair. and there's this big cat. it's a black cat. and it's on the bed. there's","the little house in the trees in the meadows on the top of the mountain is looking at us from the trees on the edge of the garden where the gardeners ","then, if you look up here, at the top, there's this green thing, like a thing of grass, and there's a bunch of big black clouds, and there is this thi","and the small house...oh, yes. The small house and the little garden, and all the trees. I'm going to tell you a little story, I am going to tell it t","I'm going to keep my hands up like this. But what do I think of? Well, the last thing I thought of was that I was at the bottom of a river. It's quite","it's a very good place. It's the first place I ever went, when I was a child. I was three or four years old then. I never saw that place before. I lik","Now I am seeing a girl with a green hat and a yellow scarf and a blue dress with a pink border. It's a little girl, about the size of a pigeon. I thin","the lady who was born with the three heads of a snake and the two tails and the two wings and the two legs, and she was born at the time when the thre","the sun, the sun, it's just the sun, just the sun... and the sun, oh, and the sun and the sun... just the sun is just the sun.... and the sun","we were on a journey. I was going to have to swim to the other side of the lake, and I was going swimming and the other boy was coming over and he was","I can feel it coming from below, and it's got a long thin blade, and I'm a bit like a rabbit, and it is cutting through me like a knife, and I am fall","the darkness, and the darkness in the sky, and the shadows that came into the trees, and the shapes of the shadows, the shapes of things that were not","but my mind is still my own, but in a strange way, like an old picture which I cannot see clearly, and yet it is always there and it always changes, a","it is difficult for me to see them. They seem to be out of reach, although I can touch them, like when a cloud touches me, but then it moves on. I can","I will make a little paper boat to hold the rose I am going to take from the river to give to the little girl that is coming to the little garden to m","and here I was, sitting in a chair. And then, all of a sudden, I found myself in the air, with my feet up in the air. And then I found that the chair","what have they done with that one there? That one that you took out and threw down...it's still in my hand, there. What's this? It's coming out, it's ","I like it so much... I like it... I like... it. Oh, how nice... it's so good! Oh, oh! I like it! I like you, too, and","... ... ... ... ... Now I am in the forest. The sun is shining on the trees and I am walking through the dark forest and I am on a tree and I am eatin","I just came here to think. I think I am thinking of the beautiful, lovely trees in the forest. They are all dressed up in beautiful, lovely flowers. T","I just thought of an apple. ... There's an apple, but it's a little too big. ... There are apples all the way round the table. ... There is an apple-t","I'm just trying to get it all out. It's been a long time since I've seen a cat and the last time I saw one was in a museum and there were many cats an","And the next, there was a very small white bird with a yellow foot. Then came a big red bird and a yellow bird. Then came another bird. And then a whi","And now, as we speak, a beautiful golden arch is arched up from the ground, and a little, little tree has grown from the tip. I am the tree and the ar","what's that? The thought of a little mouse? The little mouse, with a long tail and big eyes, and little white teeth. I wish I had a little mouse. I ha","the clouds are like a black, black blanket. I think of it as a blanket of black cotton, a little bit like the one my mother made for me when I was a b","I've got it. The grass is red. The sky's blue. The grass's red. The grass is green. I want it to be green. Green green green green. I don't","the light was fading in the window. It was getting late. I was a little worried. It was snowing, and I didn't have any mittens to wear, and the snow w","I feel a pain in the left leg. It's a pain, not a pain. It's not a pain at all. It's just a pain, just a pain. A pain, a","And so then I was like, 'I'm going to sit here with my legs crossed and I'm going to write poems.' And I was thinking I would write poems, but not jus","I wonder how he is, he looks like a dog, and I wonder what he does in his day, I wonder what she thinks, I wonder if he likes her, I wonder why he doe","what do you think, a lot of people have it worse than you, or do you think you have it worse. Well I have it worse, cause I have no friends, and I hav","the memory is so good, there's no need for pictures in the story. the only thing you need for a good memory, is a good picture of what you want to rem","and the first man, who was the first, came out of the big stone, and looked up to the sky, and thought: it is wonderful, all that is in the sky; and s","this is what you do when you dream. You say out loud what you see as you dream. What does it sound like? (long pause) Just as if it is being said out ","and I will leave my heart, I will leave it on the floor, and it will grow and grow, until it will reach the ceiling, and when the ceiling will become ","and I am sitting here and I am looking at the blue sky and there are white clouds floating in the blue sky like I am on a ship and the clouds are like","the dark clouds were all round my house and then they were gone and they were here again and then they were here and they were all gone and then they ","and then suddenly there was a blue sky and I was flying, and I was going very, very fast and then I stopped suddenly and I fell down and I was crying ","The clouds are very light and very fluffy, they look like they could be made of cotton, or like snowflakes, they look very beautiful, and then they ha","you have to be strong and then when you get your head a bit up you have to hold it with your fingers. When you are out of the water it feels very cold","the house of a friend, the house of a man I used to live in, the house I used to love. It had two white columns supporting the porch, a little door in","oh, yes, I was going to say I was a good person because I wasn't very much like I was when I was younger, I was a better person. Well, I was trying to","It was like a very big house. There were things in the house and the house was big. I thought of a house that I had seen when I was very very little a","and you'd see what's happening to it as you're trying to get it up. You'd see it getting bigger and bigger and the light would come out of the top. An","a long, long, long time ago, I was a boy, I was very small. And I had a little baby sister, and we were both very very young. And we lived in a","and we'd be like in the basement of the house and there would be a big hole in the floor and the hole was like a doorway into a big cavern and it was ","a blue horse, with a big hat on his head, and he was a princess...she was a blue princess, and he said, 'you can't go in, I'm sorry, but","and a long white horse... and a big red bird... and a little boy... and a red box... and a purple man... and a green castle... and the red bird is the","And that is the same as the one you saw on the wall...that is the one you wrote. I should write you a letter, I don't know what for. Oh! There is a","a snake. A snake. I don't know what it is like. It's too late, it's too late for me. I'm lost in the darkness, the darkness of the forest,","And what I want to do is go back to that room that I saw in the dark, I think, and there was a bed there, and it had a white cover. I don't know","and then she would turn back and it would be like this. Oh, no, no, not like that, but like this, but with the wings. And then it would come out. Oh","what is it? The black thing? The black things? It's something like a black thing. I can't find it, but there is something black under this paper, like","and I have an idea for a game... It's a game about a boy who's fallen down a well and is going down and down and down. There are three layers to the g","and the poor little boy was lost in a dark cave with a light on his head that he was holding and he was trying to find his way out but he couldn't and","and I want to be a writer, I want to write something real, I want it to be real, I don't want to make it up. I want it real, I wanna do it","and now, I'm thinking of a book that I read about a long time ago. It was called The Time of the Tiger, and it was written by a woman named Francesca ","The words came tumbling out. I wrote them down and read them and realized they were all from a dream. They were just words of a dream. But I wanted th","and all of a sudden the little girl said, 'Mommy, let's make a dream.' And I said, 'Well, let's go make one!' I said, and I started to","[t]hat's what you do when you get excited, isn't it, when you get a good idea, and you do the whole poem in your head, and then you write it down","this is something I have been thinking about. I don't know how you like to write, do you write with your pen or your pencil? I use my pencil and it ma","I'm sitting here... I'm sitting on a bench, I think it's a bench but I'm not sure, and I'm thinking about something. I don't know why I'm sitting ther","and then I hear the thunder, and I get up and run around and it's so loud, the thunder is so loud I can't stand it and I get down on the floor and I p","And the sky is very, very, very bright, very white, and the birds are singing. Oh, what a beautiful sound, I wish I could sing like them, but I can't,","[I'm thinking about] my sister... [I see] a beautiful sunset on the horizon... [I hear] the ocean... [I feel] a warm breeze... [I am] in","my little boy was just lying in the bed, I was putting him to sleep. And I was looking out at the stars, and they were just so beautiful. And he was l","and I saw the small pond in the backyard. And a bird came and flew into it, and there was a fish swimming in it. And it's really really pretty. And th","I remember the day my mom and dad gave me this book for my birthday. It was about a girl who lived in a house made of water. She could swim from one c","... ... ... I was just thinking about the sea, and how I don't know how to swim, and how it's so big and so far away, and it's so deep. I could","I see the sea, and the sky, and the moon, and the clouds, and the trees. I see the sun, and the water, and the grass. I hear the wind, and","And then, as the air blows by my face, I feel something on my eyelashes and I open my eyes. I see the water, all around, all around me. I am in the","I want to run around in the forest, and I want to catch something. I think I can catch a fish, and a snake, and a bird. I want to run up a tree and","and then it was dark and he saw his brother and his sister and they were gone and they had wings and their wings were made of stars. So he flew up wit","[I]n my mind, I was watching the snowflakes. And they were so small, and I could tell they were snowflakes, and then, the snowflakes were in","a white flower, a red flower, a blue flower, a white bird, a black bird, a blue bird, a red bird, a white frog, a black frog, a blue frog,","I'm sitting in a room, looking at the ceiling... and I see this big dark circle in the center of the ceiling, and this dark circle has a hole in the c","it's a very beautiful place, I'm standing here, it's dark, and it's really quiet... it's a lovely place... I can hear the water running, and I can sme","it's not going to make a difference, if it's the same thing that it's doing, in the end, it's going to be the same thing in the end. It's a funny","And then the dog...., and the dog is sleeping. I have the feeling I was trying to be asleep, too, and I'm trying to fall asleep and I can't. I can't","I am so glad to be able to do this now, to find a way to make this poem. I'm so glad I've found a way to do that. I want to write this poem","now it is my turn to be the king of the forest, and the trees are dancing before me. I am in the woods with the tree nymphs, I am dancing in the light","It is a bit like this, perhaps. I imagine that it is a little like this. When I imagine that you are holding a sword, and you are standing at a window","then the child was put on the table and was then put on the floor and was then placed in a basket, and the basket was then placed on the floor. And th","I think about something, and it comes out like this, and the words are like a rope, and I pull the rope, and the rope is pulling me through the air, a","I think the poem is... it's going to be like an owl on the other side. It's going to open and there'll be a tree inside... it's a tree... or a leaf","and I thought of a child, a child with long hair, and he was playing on a stone. But now the stone is in the middle of the room, and I can't play on t","then a little girl is standing on the edge of a pool. She is in a beautiful dress and it's flowing down in a beautiful way and her little hands are in","it is a cloud. There was a cloud at the bottom of the valley, it was like a big balloon, and when the wind blew it turned over and went up and the gra","and it was as if he had taken off his clothes. His feet were bare, his hair was soft and shiny, and he was turning and turning, looking round at me an","I just finished writing a poem about the man in the yellow hat and he went on and on and on. He was walking away with me and he said I should put a li","and the moon is like a big silver flower, and the sea is like a mirror on a black background and I think, 'it must be so quiet and so beautiful at the","and I'm so glad that you can't be here to see it, because it's going to be really good. It's going to be a pretty good day tomorrow. I mean, it's","a tree falls in a forest and there is no one to hear it. Well, what about the forest? Is the forest still there if there is no one there to hear the t","the river in the valley of the moon and the stars, and the stream of the blue sea, the water of the lakes and the seas of the great water and the grea","and here, where the little ones are, is the sun, and I'm going to tell you about it, and I am going to make it very long. It is a sun which is very","it is a sort of process of building up of a large machine, which we are all moving along, and we have no idea of its existence until we see it out of ","then, I was going to try to think of something that would be suitable for a bird's cage, for an ornament that I would put in the cage. I did not succe","the long black tree, the tall black tree, and the white tree, all the trees of the world, all the living and the dead, the black and the white, the gr","It's so still, I can almost hear the grass growing. Oh! It grows! It grows green, and grows to the sky, and grows and grows and never grows up. It gro","it's so nice to be here, in my room in my own house, it's so quiet and cozy. There's a window behind my pillow with a beautiful view of the garden and","I have no idea. I can't remember what it is. ... It's like it's a story, and it's got to happen to somebody. ... The story's over, and I'm","and I've got a big, fat cat up there, and she's got a fat tail, and she wants to jump up there, she can't reach it, but she can't get down","I could be thinking and walking over to the bed, and I would be thinking. And then I would look over and I'd see the bed, I mean, I see it. And I'd","it's a dog... oh, it's a cat... a cat with no legs, and no arms, and it's trying to get away. and it's got a big big hole in its","I'll take a long trip ... I'll take some pictures ... I'll ... I'll get some ... I'll find some flowers in the woods, and I'll put them in a box, and","I feel the two things go together like that. You see, I don't know how to spell it, or how to say it. 'Spelled' is the right word, I think.","it's kind of funny. I remember when I was young I used to say the alphabet backwards. But then, I got to thinking about that, and then I said the alph","Now the world is full of things that make you think. They make you think and then you have to say it out loud. And sometimes you have to get up and do","there's this, that's the way it's supposed to be done. No, it's not. It's not that way at all, but it's the way you are supposed to do it","the hand is made of something I do not know. I will say that the hand is a thing that I know, because I know how to make it and know it not to make it","I will look at the square. I will see a man and woman. They will be in a square. I'll put in a big square, and the little man will go in, and the","then I think of a cat who's just been born and is sitting there, and just trying to learn to walk and make a noise. And that's what I've done, to try ","I'm a very strong woman. I've been strong, very strong. I was a very strong, very brave child, and I had a wonderful mother. And I had a very wonderfu","I want to become the woman who can have the body that is the shape of a man, a strong body, and yet remain the woman who has the woman's softness, the","and then there is this big lump of flesh hanging down from your chin, it's quite a long one, and it has a little hair on the top and it goes all the w","you're doing fine. You're doing just great. ... just the same. ... all right, all right. ... well, then, just as well, all right, I don't care.","a lot of these things have to be said to be said...like, I'm going to tell you about something funny, because you've got to get that funny feeling. ..","and he was a little boy and he had a dog, and he was trying to put his shoes on and he was putting his shoes on him and he was pulling and the dog was","Oh, the stars! the stars! They're so beautiful! Look at them now! How lovely! I can't get them out of my mind, can you?...They're so bright!","I'd like to make a book of that picture, just like a story-book. It's the best thing that can be done for it. But it won't come out exactly the same, ","and the face of the sun is red like a red apple and it is the colour of an orange that is about to turn, and the flowers are going to turn a purple an","it's the other way round, I think, it's the other way 'round... you know, that's funny, I always thought it was the other way, but it isn't, it","and this one, is it like a bird? I can't remember its name; I think it's like a bird with a beak; a beak like this one, and it's very","and it was a beautiful day ... and they were going to the circus ... and it was funny ... and ... and she had ... she had ... and they ... and the gir","the doctor asked me to go back to the house in the wood, and the other doctor said to take a bath in the river, and then to go away from me, but I can","I think it was in a box, the first time we had a box. Oh yes, it was a box. The little bird. I saw him in the box. No, that isn't","I'm a very lucky man. I feel I have been very, very lucky. I know you think you are. I have a very, very nice life. I have got a little brother,","And he's like, 'I want to marry you.' He's like, 'Oh, you don't like it at all?' He's like, 'Well, I know I won't be","I would like to play a little with you, the way you do. We could play a little, I wouldn't mind. Now I think I'm going to paint you, but not you.","I want to know what it feels like. It would be very interesting to know. You have said that you want to do it. I wonder if it would be good for you. I","it was all very simple. All it required was that you should try to picture for yourself some image, or make some movement of the head or body, and the","And he took up a piece of chalk and drew a great tree on the blackboard. It was a great tree like the apple-tree on the hill-side, except that the tre","you can see that the picture is as if a leaf had grown on a little bush that is bent over and you can see through the leaves of this leaf to the sky a","it is a little like the moon that rises and falls as the day goes by, or the sea; when we are standing on the sea-shore, it looks as if the tide were ","I know, but they're not alive, you see, and so I can't see them. But I can feel them; for example, the wall, which is hard, and I can feel","what's this? What's this? (looks at hands) this. It's a stick. I'm holding it. Yes, it's a stick, but I don't know its name.","I was thinking of the fish, and I think if I had a little red and a little green one, they might get on. ... They get on with each other, they do. The","I remember when I was little, I used to read books and they'd get in my eyes, and I'd rub my eyes. Now I think about that and I'm remembering what the","what is the answer, what is the answer. ... Yes, it's a piece of string. ... Oh, it's like a spider's web, yes, yes, I think so. ...","then I can get the blue one too. ...there are four here. ...three of them are all blue and one is yellow. ...a yellow one. ...now it is red. ...no","I have a thought! What a curious thought! What an odd thought! How queer it is! I never thought that before. I wonder why I didn't think it before! I ","the lady said to me: 'I think I've got it now, I've got the thing. It's the thing which is not the thing. What's the thing, you asked? That","and so here are my two and five o'clock... and the three o'clock, and the four o'clock...and the nine o'clock, ... and the twelve o'clock... but that'","... a small girl, a girl about 10, I think, or 11, or 12, with her hands folded together; her hands are on a little table, and","we are the children of God, the children of the sun. The children of the earth...we are the earth. We are the sun, the wind, the clouds...we are water","[t]his is a table with legs. ... it is round and smooth. It is a table that you can sit on. I am on it. I am sitting on it. And there","it's like a window through which we can look. ...I've got the idea. I think I'll put that in a bag. No, that'll do. It's a kind of shell","now we have to start, and it has been a little long. But we are just beginning to start to go. How long will it last? But how long is it going to last","[Says in a slow, staccato voice, with no effort to control his speech: ] 'I am looking at the window. It is the window of the room I am in.","you know what, it's just as well, because we can't do the next thing now. Let's do it again. [..] We can do that in a way that will make it","and the words of the other. It was in the air. I wanted to say 'we want to see you'. I wanted to go out, but it was in the other words. I wanted","and then there's the sun, the sun goes to the sky, and comes out through the window. Oh!... Now it's a bird, a bird, but it's going to be a","then I'll get back to the girl. And I think she's standing there with her arm outstretched and I'm walking towards her, with my hand outstretched too,","so, if you were in the desert and you looked at the sun, you'd see the sun going up. And if you were on a ship sailing to the east, you'd say that you","in front of me there is a line of stars, stars are moving towards me. They are close now, almost touching. Then they grow bigger. They are like little","and a whole lot of things happen: the whole sky, and the earth, and the moon, and the stars, and the planets. There is a new moon, and it is beautiful","a little more light and a little more dark, and in the dark a little more starlight, and in starlight a little more moonlight, and all this little bit","the moment I'm thinking I've got to do this and that, then I remember it's all a dream, and then I don't want to do this or that, and I don't know","I can hear the noise of the wind. It is a noise of rushing water in a wood; a noise of trees shaking in a storm. It comes to me through my ears, and I","the thought of you, you, you (in the air), you (in a small room, with a stone floor), the thought of you (in an open place, with a clear water in","the way I see it, we have to get rid of this, or take this, or put this over here, and there, and there... the other side will look like this... and t","a dream ... a dream ... I dreamt that I was on a mountain and there were many people climbing up the mountain. And a little boy was holding a little g","The man who lives with me, I call him the devil, the devil that goes away with the sun. I call him devil, but he is not really a devil. He is very goo","and then we were crossing the river, and I thought of the trees. I wanted to say something about the trees, but I couldn't quite say it. Then I saw th","the water is getting deeper. And the rocks are getting bigger and the water is getting colder. And the sun is getting bigger and bigger and it's shini","I am dreaming I am walking down the street, I am wearing a little white dress and I'm walking through the little streets of my town. I see the house a","And so you come here, and then there's a hole in the ground. The hole has been dug out of a big rock, and you have a hole, and then you're on the grou","and I am just going to sit here on the couch... and the sound of the rain... I could hear the rain... just like water dripping on the roof... and ther","and in the middle of the night I dreamt that there were two walls in a dark room. One of them was very close to me and I couldn't see the other one. S","I'm a lot of people's friend. I don't want to be alone, you see. You are the most beautiful lady I ever saw. And I love you, my lady, with my","and then I have the idea of making a bed like in the picture of the people in the picture with the flowers on it. And I have a piece of wood in my han","the old house where he lived in the country, there is a long window which opens on the outside, it's like a big fan. So, you know, he stands on the wi","... the more I think of this the more I realize that I've never seen this before... in this light! It's never occurred to me to see this way. The tree","the big river of the earth, with the blue sea on its edge, the little boats floating in the water, and the little red boats, the red boats and the blu","and now I'm in a strange forest. There's a road, and I'm walking. It's not a dark forest. There are a lot of flowers in it. I've got a lot","... a thought, it came to me that I'd like to play a game with the tape recorder, and I'd like you to listen to it when you get home, and tell me what","my god, how do people stay awake all night, it's too much. I mean, why do they stay up all night, like this, it's not fun. And you know what?","the room. And there's this... there's this lady who's sitting there and she's looking at me. And then this lady's sitting on the other side of the roo","and, well, there's a person who comes to the school once a week, and I guess he teaches us how to swim. And I'm the swimmer. And he has a little,","and it's kind of a funny thing, I'm not sure why. I'll tell you, it's because you have to wear a dress with your suit. If you go in and have your","and the girl was asking, 'What do you do?' I was saying, 'I do this,' and she was saying, like, 'Do you go to the store?' And I was saying","I mean, I wonder, how would it feel if I put on an old pair of socks and put on a pair of new socks and then I could wear them for a week, and if I","and the woman's head was black and shiny and smooth and it was wet and it was very, very big, and I was getting all wet and it was like a washcloth, b","it's not as bad as you think. I think, I'm gonna get up on my knees, and I'm gonna kiss you all over and all over. I've got my hands on you","I think of all the things that I might do. I could get a dog, like I wanted, but my dog ran away, and my dad said I couldn't have a dog anymore. But","and if we were going to go swimming we'd have to get the shoes off and then go to the pool. And I'd have to go to the bathroom and I'd be there for a ","[i]t's not good. It's not good, the teacher said, and she said, 'No. Don't do that. The other one looks better. No, the other one","it's my turn to sing. My turn, to sing. I've got a song, too, in my head. It's about a boy named Billy, who was on a boat, and","I'm looking at this picture in the book. The lady has a big blue nose. She has a big pink mouth and big teeth. She is wearing a white dress with a whi","I'm going to the movies tonight. I'm going to see 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly'. It's one of my favourite movies. I like all the actors in it,","[I]t was a little bit like a dollhouse, but it was like a doll house where there were...[I]ts a little like...[I]'m trying to think what","And I'm wearing a black shirt and white jeans, and the girl is wearing a white shirt, and she's wearing a brown skirt. And I'm wearing these brown sho","and then you... the person's a little bit... he's a little, his hair is a little bit a bit different than yours. You can see his hair. And you can see","[I think of my] grandmother's house. She lives in [Chicago,] I think, or somewhere in the neighborhood of here. So, [I'm] sitting here in my kitchen,","I've got a whole bunch of clothes that I'm going to need. I've got some stuff that I need to wear at the house, and I have some that I need for school","like that... (Scoffs) ... oh I don't know... I'm trying to think of something... like... like... I don't... like a... like a dish or something","a car? ...A car? ...I guess it was a car, that's what it was. ...What? What did I say? ...Oh, I said a car, and it was","I'm writing down this. (pause) I'm sitting here. (pause, sigh) I'm going to have to change this. I'm going on holiday, I'm going to go to","[I]t's all right...[I]f you were to write that out, it'd be like 3 pages...I'm not writing this down, I'm writing this down.","I have a few friends, and I don't know if they know I like them. My brother, I think, likes me but he's not very close. I like my friend, Jenny.","there's the bathroom, right? I've already been there, but the bathtub's all empty. You don't need to take a bath in the morning, so the tub's empty, b","and I'm gonna put some more in here. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna see, and I'm just gonna take a bath, and put a bunch of stuff in here, and","And I'm sitting on the beach and there's a little girl who has a dress on that's really, really pretty, and her dress is white with little flowers on ","my sister and I used to get in a fight a lot...I'm wearing a new shirt I got for my birthday..my birthday is tomorrow...I'm thinking of a shirt...I wa","I'm trying to decide between buying a new book or going to the movies. I don't know if I should just stay here and watch TV instead. What if I get hun","and I wonder if I should ask my mom if she wants to come to the party too, but I'm not sure because she said she can't come to the big one on Friday, ","and it's a dog, but she doesn't have a collar on, and then it's a cat, and then a dog. She's got a red jacket and a white shirt, and I","and he just has that like, and he just has like this like this and this like this. He just likes to put his hands on his head and he just does it, and","I have like, four red lights, I'm not sure why. I've got my dog on like, the green one, because it's his favourite color, and then my brother's on the","I can't wait for tomorrow. Because then I will get to go outside. Like I always say, I wish I could be outside all the time. But I can't. And then I'l","this is the start of the thought that I was just thinking about yesterday, and I don't know if I remember it or not, I'm not sure, I'm gonna go to sle","my head is so small. I'm not gonna be able to fit my hat on my head. I'm gonna have to take a really big hat off. I'm like, it's too big","and I'm just gonna...you know...do it. Yeah, I'm just going to do it. And then I'm gonna go back. Like, I'm gonna come back and then I","[Says 'oh no, not again'] I don't like it. Like... [Says the sound of a fan] Oh, I like the sound of that. It's like the","like when I had this like weird hair and I had these like really long hair and I was like, this is what it looked like. I was like holding it up and i","I think the new person's a girl. I'm not sure. But she's...a girl. Maybe... I don't know. I think she's a girl, but I'm not...","it's a real problem because, yeah, like, like, you know, so it's like, like I don't know how, like, I mean, I don't want to give myself","so I was thinking, like I really donโ€™t know what to think about the day and then I started thinking about it like Iโ€™m going to go to work like I donโ€™t","the stuff I wrote...what it's called. Oh, I don't know. Is it like...what I mean is, the way you...when you write...you have like this like little","I'm like...what I'm like...I'm like this...I'm kinda...like a...well...like I'm kinda...I'm kinda like a...I'm...I'm really","I think my dog likes me. I don't know how. I think it is because I always tell him 'Good boy' when he does something good. And I think that it is beca","and then I realized that I'm gonna get the big one and I'm gonna do the big one because it's been like a month that I didn't do my big one and it's be","the other day I was like 'I gotta go' and I was like you gotta go and I was walking towards the door and then I was like I think I need a drink and I ","i'm going to go to a party at like, like a, um, a, like, like, it's going to be at like a hotel and it's like, it is like,","i know i've seen this before. this was the first one that i saw. i didn't have to search for it. i just had it. i don't know what it was. but","[f]irst of all I want to mention that I am currently unemployed. It's a bit depressing. I mean, I don't know, I don't want to get a job that doesn","the morning I have been waiting for. I'm looking forward to it, so excited and nervous. I want to see it live in person, and also see the new episode,","And then she just said like, 'I'm going to call my mom' and she had to like, she's like 'I'll be home by 9' but then she had to change","I don't like that, I'm going to be a millionaire, and I'm gonna buy my own house, I'm not even a teenager and I'm already a millionaire. I'm not gonna","and I know my husband doesn't have any issues. He's just been feeling stressed for the last couple of weeks, and that's just because the holidays are ","and I guess this is kind of weird, but I'm kind of, like, not having a good time at work right now. I feel like my job is like, kind of not a good","I canโ€™t believe that Iโ€™ve done this for ten years, like a robot, because I just wanted to do that thing I wanted to do when I was young, which is basi","Iโ€™m in an open area with a lake and trees. I can see the mountains in the distance. I think there is a bridge over the lake. I think I have a dog. Iโ€™m","I see myself in the car in front of my house. And I see my car and it's yellow, and then I see a lady in front of the car and I see the car with the","just walking and thinking, and there's the wind. And it's cold. I'm cold, I need a coat. I'm walking and the wind is blowing. It's so cold, it","oh I'm really glad I had the chance to talk to you because I was in the middle of my day and it was pretty stressful. I had a bunch of errands to run ","I wonder why I'm here, just lying on my bed with my eyes closed, thinking about nothing in particular. I feel kind of lazy and sleepy right now. I'm n","and it's a good idea. You can't really have the money unless you get the money. And that's it. And the money is 100,000 and I think","I know it's kind of a weird question, but can you think of any other times when you've done something similar, like going out and buying groceries or ","and I'm in my kitchen. It's 12:00 AM. I'm just gonna make myself some coffee. I'll throw in a little bit of sugar and milk and then maybe","I am in a small room. There is a couch and a coffee table. I am in my pajamas. I am drinking a cup of coffee. My cat is on the couch. I am","I'm thinking about the other day when we went to the movies and there was this lady who was like, 'oh my god, my back hurts so bad,' and then we went ","I have been trying to come up with a good way to describe my feelings about the current situation. I think it's kind of frustrating because I feel lik","I just want to be here. I want to be in the room with you. I'm gonna go to the gym. I just want to eat a bowl of cereal. I want a hot bowl"],["[15] We could go back to our house. If we were to get to our house, we would have a lot of things we wouldn't be able to do, we'd be tired","this is the other thing I've been trying to figure out, and it's not coming. I'm trying to get at it, and it just isn't coming. What I was going to sa","and if we are really honest, we might have to say, if you have to deal with this, then you're not a scientist; you're not somebody who can do science.","I think of what I'm doing, like, what are you doing in your life, you know, what is it? I'm a human, you know what I mean? So I don't","it is the same thing, but I'm a lot younger. I don't think I can change anything in the middle, but if it's not working, then I'm going to have to cha","and so I guess that's that. I have no idea what you're talking about. I have absolutely no idea, you know, that's what I'm saying. I can't find it.","I can't be here, can I? I just can't be here. I'm supposed to be elsewhere, you know. I'm not here, I'm not listening. I'm somewhere else","And that's when I think about, you know, the way I'm writing the thing now. I know that if I don't finish it, if I don't, you know, just make","I don't know. You know, it's kind of hard to really answer the question. But, I mean, I do. I have. I do. ...I have this one idea about","I was watching an episode of something, a reality show. And one guy was like, he was doing something and then he would get up and say something to the","[a]nother one that I have heard on the news recently is how much our society has changed and the way that the way we deal with people that are differe","and then, if we start doing some more of this, you know, I think that would be good to do. I think the right way to do it is to take this as a whole.","I'm in this conversation with you, right? I've been reading a lot of blogs and I've been writing my own blog. So I think that there's a lot of value i","And that's really the reason why we have this whole debate around the language, around the role of the language in AI, around the different kinds of A","this is an interesting phenomenon and I guess it is probably driven by the fact that it's really the first time that people are talking about this iss","what I do know is that my feeling, my belief, my conviction, is that we are living in a global crisis, and that there are a number of different perspe","[I]n my life, I think I would prefer a life that was more predictable, that was less about a lot of what we call the existential. I would prefer if pe","I'm a guy who's trying to understand what it means to be a man in today's world. You know, this is a society where masculinity is not valued, where it","it's important that we understand how much power we actually have to choose to be who we want to be. And what I mean by this is, the kind of people I'","I'm thinking about this kind of thing because I'm kind of frustrated that I don't have any kind of like, there's a couple of things. I have some, I ha","so you're the only one that's going to have to come up with the metrics for those projects. So you have to be able to do that, that's a big job. But w","it was a little bit of a hard job to get it to be like, you know, the company's going to go bankrupt, and they're going to be trying to find a way to ","the thing that we're going to have to work on in a lot of different ways and make sure we're not having our own biases... that we're not saying, 'Well","and then itโ€™s like, โ€˜okay, youโ€™re just going to have to be very disciplined about this process, and you have to be disciplined in what youโ€™re actually","this is just this is just another one of those conversations I don't want to have and that I don't think will lead anywhere. So, let's try it again. W","I think that one of the main challenges we are facing now in the field of education, especially when it comes to the online learning environment, is h","there was something that came to me that I thought was really important, and that was I really feel like it's a critical moment and I think it's impor","[I]n my mind, I have to come up with a lot of different things. I have a lot of ideas and I have a little bit of a problem in that I have to focus","the sense of security and stability in the world is eroding at the moment. What we see happening in the world with the war in Ukraine and the fact tha","The U.S. is a very different system now from the one that existed in 2008. There is a very large minority of people in the United States that want to ","it's important to look at what's going on with the financial markets... I'm looking at the political situation in Europe... and I'm looking also at wh","that there's a lot of, a lot of confusion about what is the, the correct thing to do and what's not. It's, it's the question of, of, of how you","the other day we had this one experience in the military. We were in the middle of the fighting in the eastern region of Ukraine. The government force","if there were no reason for a conflict between the two countries, there would be no conflict, but there is a reason and there is a conflict because th","the more it's just a bit of a problem. You can't have it that way. You can either have a system that works on the basis of the world being fundamental","and the next thing that you know, the next thing is a problem that arises with the management. And the management says to the workers, 'We cannot affo","that's exactly what the president said. That's exactly what they said. I think they have a good policy. I think the president has a good policy, and t","and I think this is very important, I think that this is going to be very important, so, so, we don't even have the space for that. We don't have the ","So, when we go into the meeting, it will be a good idea to have a general meeting with all the managers and then a separate meeting for the executives","I'm just going to get back into my office and sit there and read a paper and say what I need to say about this. And that's it. I'm not going to have a","I mean, I think that it is very, very important to have an international space for all the human rights, for all the women's rights, for the rights of","and the whole point of the war is to bring these two countries together and to make sure they're not independent and sovereign, that the United States","I think that that the American dream has been perverted a little bit in the last two years. You know, I don't want to say that that there are people o","And it's hard for them to come here in a climate that's so hostile to them, because they're coming from a place of the most extreme religious and mora","And that was just a little bit of the problem in terms of, you know, people don't like to say it in public. But, but the bigger problem is that people","The government has been very, very, very bad, but not to the extent that they are able to control the American people. But when I say control, I mean ","I can't imagine being able to be in the same country, with the same kind of government, with the kind of economic problems that we have. I can't think","and then they have the freedom to say yes. I mean, it's very difficult. This is not a European Union that is so strong, that it can go to a place, say","there are different ways that we can be with our fellow men. We can be with them in a way of solidarity and equality. That is a good way. But, you kno","what we do, what we do here, you know, what we actually do is we take people's money. So that's what the system is based on. And I don't think, you","[S]o you can take care of yourself, but that doesn't mean that you're not going to get into the Middle East and go back and say to the Americans, 'Her","So in other words, it's the same kind of problem, it's just that it's a question of where the problem is coming from. I mean, if you start thinking ab","and the second one is that we don't understand the reason for the failure, and we're not able to make a good diagnosis. I mean, that's a kind of a str","and I have an interesting thought. It's a thought about the notion of what you call a 'concrete thing' and I don't know what you're calling a concrete","a lot of the people that were on the receiving end of this system and who are in the courts today have a very different set of circumstances from what","you know that it's not enough that there are these little little agencies that are responsible for the monitoring and the enforcement of these laws, t","[A]fter a few years we would have to, you know, get rid of all the people that weren't living up to the standards that they had agreed to, and I think","The government is not going to go to war with Iran over Syria. That's the bottom line. The government is not in a position to do that. It's not a gove","I'm going to get into some kind of business. I'm going to take over some kind of real estate development or whatever. I'm gonna buy a lot of land and ","what the hell do I care about the price of a gallon of gas? I don't need a gallon of gasoline in order to produce electricity. And even if the price o","a 1964, in 1958, the first big strike in the United States, the whole thing started with the car companies in Detroit, because they were refusing to p","in the last year, there's been some bad, I think, in the last year there's been some good. I mean, we have a new economy, we have new things. We have","the news on this election is the Democrats are going to have the House, I believe. I don't know. The news is that the Democrats are gonna have the Hou","I see a lot of these people and they say 'Well, you know, I had an idea. I was talking to a guy over at the other group. We were talking about this an","well, it's interesting what he said about the new law. Now, I think that's, I think that is a bad thing, but I think it's going to take some time to b","I'm having a bad time. I'm going to be there for a couple of years. And I have a job there, and they've been giving me a little money and a car, and","it's an interesting situation to be in, having a political party which is the most successful political party in the world, which has a president who ","You know that this was the case, in part, because of the work of the FBI, and you have to admit that there are people on the FBI payroll who are paid ","I just think that I should be able to make a request that this court appoint a counsel to represent me in this matter, so I can get a good defense. An","so I am going to go to a lot of trouble and get a lot of money for my family so we can have the same kind of lifestyle that our neighbor has. And it i","I don't know what the next steps are, and I don't know who's going to do them. There is a lot of pressure. I mean, I mean, all this is good news","I'll do this thing. It's important to get some kind of work done. I don't think we should try and do it all ourselves. We've got to get the support of","And this, you know, is kind of a sad state. And I'm not saying I'm a terrible guy, I'm not blaming you. You've got to get it done, right?","and the real issue in the United States is that we are trying to protect the stock market. We are trying to preserve the stock market, because it is o","and this is where it gets tricky. So we're not going to get there until we're ready to get there, but right now, if we look at what the Republicans ar","I know the one thing that's going to happen. You can't do what you want to do. You're not going to be able to do what you do. That's what's going to","[I]n order for you to actually get anything accomplished in the military, you have to have the support of the people who are at your level, who are in","a guy like that. If we really did it. ...I mean, you know, I guess we should have some kind of a standard, like, you know what, when the stock market ","[I'm] wondering why is it that a lot of people who are just getting out of college, you know, they've been in college for years. They've gone to grad ","I don't really get a chance to think. I know I get a chance, and it's not just the school, but the work, too. It's not just what you think about,","I mean, I know there are these, like, laws, right? Like, when you're in court, when you get convicted of a crime, then there are the sentences, right?","So that's the problem: the way you're thinking of things is, you're thinking in terms of this is a good thing or this is a bad thing, or this is an ev","I have a question about the company, the whole organization. I'd like to talk about how people make decisions. And so, I think in general there are tw","[T]here are certain things about the way that the way that this sort of system is organized, that make it incredibly difficult for people to be able t","I am thinking about the 3rd paragraph, the 3rd sentence, the 4th paragraph of the paper. That is, we've had this discussion about the notion of the un","I'm trying to think of an example of an international organization where there's a lot of commonality in the way they're functioning. I'm going to mak","I think we might have to have a new round of research because I don't think the science is good enough to inform the policy. We don't really understan","I think that we ought to have some kind of a national plan for our development, and I don't think that the way that this was done, by the United State","well, if I were to come up with some kind of an assessment of the effects of the internet on the way in which Americans think and behave, I would say ","we're talking about the importance of the use of science and the importance of research that is being done by the Department of Defense and that is be","The same thing is happening today in the middle of this election cycle, which is why the country's in such a state of flux today. But the reality is, ","I was just thinking of the people in this country. That they were a pretty diverse lot, and that they were a bit suspicious of each other. In that the","we can't be sure that's it, that it's not that there is no difference, that you're just not paying attention. We're not paying attention to these guys","so if it's a private concern, if it's just, like, 'This is my problem,' I would like to see more accountability to Congress and more accountability to","The thing I have to think about, is there was a real time, that was a long time ago, that was when I was on the Commission for the Human Rights, where","and then you start thinking, and you're trying to find some kind of solution, and then you go to the next level and you say, well, here is the problem","so that's one way to do that. Well, let me take it the other way. I was just thinking about the role of the community. I think the community, in some ","We've seen all of this before, but this time we're going to do it with an outside consultant who's not a member of the board of directors or a board o","[In the military context,] the idea was that we would be the front line for the counterinsurgency operations, so they could basically establish their ","I think that in the next couple of years the war in Afghanistan will get very, very dangerous. Because now they have, in the last several months, they","I feel that we're having a kind of a renaissance in the United States. We're very well equipped. We're going to win the next war that we get in. We're","and there was the first day, and the second day, and there was an earthquake there and I was still there and it was about an earthquake, you know, and","the Russian economy is a basket case now, right, and this is the reason, the reason, this is the main reason. We are in a position to offer our goods,","and this is the issue, the thing that's going to affect the economy of the country and the United States, and the world, I think, and is going to have","in the future we have to really find a way to use our human resources in the right ways... in a way that we're not just fighting with each other. We'r","now you see all these issues coming to a head... but I think a lot of it is a question of how do you get to a place where you're able to... to... I th","and the idea I have is that if we were to take a global economy and we were to say, well, there's a lot of value in having some global economy. There ","we need to have a common set of values. We need to have common values as to how we approach and what we are going to do in terms of dealing with our f","And I guess there's a lot of people that would be involved in, say, a nuclear accident, you know, to help, to, you know, not just the physical aspects","So we've had this global financial crisis, where people are being blamed for a financial crisis, and the American government, the American people, the","and the reason, I think, why, uh, we've got this, I think we've got a pretty good situation right now and that's going to get better, and we're going ","it's really tough, because the way the world has been operating is that you know, it's not as if, you know, we're not going to have to be able to go t","you know, the one thing that we don't have as a nation is a sense of purpose, a sense of direction. And I think that that's really at the core of the ","I don't want to be a king. I don't need to be a king, I'm a normal person. But the people around me are making a mess of it. They're trying to","and then we'll go to the next level and then we're gonna go into the world's richest countries and then we're going to go into the poor countries and ","the other side of the Atlantic, the whole situation has become extremely complicated. It's not only that the US wants to keep itself at the center of ","the problem with a lot of the world's countries is that they are not sovereign, and that's a very big problem. A lot of people would like to say we've","we've seen a number of places where that has been a problem in the past. ...we've seen places like Afghanistan and Iraq where you're looking for an ad","And you know, you know, there's a certain amount of you know, uh, there's a political angle that I think is absolutely clear in terms of the current s","the whole thing, the whole thing about the global financial crisis is that we are in a global economy now. And it was never going to be possible, give","this is just the way that's how we operate. But if we were to put a country's health into the hands of people who were not a country's own health offi","so, we have the Chinese, the Europeans, the Africans, the Israelis, the Turks, the Iranians, the Indian and the Russian and so on and so forth. So, wh","it's a kind of mental warfare, of course, that's always going on, a kind of psychological warfare. It's a kind of warfare between the brain and the bo","there was a film called 'The Man Who Came to Dinner,' and the character was played by Robert Montgomery, and there's another film where Montgomery is ","I've read the books. The books that you just read in the 50s. And it's interesting that it's not very different from what you are reading now. Now you","I was working on something that's very important to me, which is a book, the book that's going to be a sequel to my novel. And it's going to take some","the United States is in a civil war right now. We're seeing the left and right fighting it out. And it's interesting the way that the left is so viole","I think I remember the whole time, though I've been on a lot of committees. And, you know, I think that I've been in some of those meetings. I mean, I","And the thing that really makes me sad, and really I guess the thing that drives me nuts is when people come and say to me, you know, 'Look at how man","and so I think what I'll do is I'll get out of here, I'll go back to the States, I'll set up my own company in New York and I'll do that.","the present crisis. In the course of the last decade, we've had a number of major developments. There's a very interesting change in the character of ","Now, you have to be able to see that if you want to go through any of these stages in order, the way you have to go through them, in the way the way t","this is something that could happen tomorrow in the morning, and the first thing you're going to do is to go to the place where all the power is. The ","And it's like I had a whole group of friends, all the students in my department, who were sort of in agreement. There was no doubt that we all were go","I can't wait. I can't wait to get to New York. And I'm going to New York, but I have to get there. We can't sit here and say, well,","And then, the moment has come. We have arrived, and now the whole world is waiting, and they will not have the opportunity to come over and interfere ","I'm going to try to talk with him. I don't know whether that's going to work or not. I don't see what he wants from me. I mean he's going to have","[T]he idea of the general strike would have to come from the trade-union organization. The general strike is not a spontaneous thing; it cannot happen","and this, as you know, is an evil. It has always been an evil, in its most basic form. It is not just a question of the relation between the state and","and the next one we have a new situation, we've got to take the next situation into consideration, because we've got a war on and we've got this probl","what I am saying, is, that the military-industrial complex is a real thing. The military-industrial system is a real power and it's one of the main en","You see, that's what they want to do. They're going to send in a military expedition, that's the plan, and then they're going to force the rest of the","what I'm trying to do is to get people to accept the fact that their life is their life, and that they shouldn't be expected to behave in a certain wa","but that's what I was talking about. You know, it's just the same as the United States in Vietnam, and there you had a whole lot of people who said, '","the only way that the United States can continue to operate, that its economy can continue to grow, is to increase the numbers of immigrants. There ar","now the only thing that I can do is to get together a group of people who are not necessarily scientists, but are people who know how to put things to","that was what they were afraid of. They had been afraid that if they did not, we would get into a war. That's what they were trying to do. And then th","you have to be a person that doesn't care too much about these things. You can't have that. You're just too much of a person of authority. That's the ","And the man is at that stage of life. You can see him, the man, as a young man, a middle-aged man, a senior, and you can see the way he is.","the death penalty is no longer a deterrent to crime in the United States, nor a deterrent to the crime of treason, but it's an encouragement to crime ","[The] problem of [the] U.S. going to war against [a country] with [no] reason. It's not a justifiable cause. But what's going to happen?","I was on the phone with a guy who's like a guy in a film noir who I'm not super interested in talking to but I'm like 'yeah, I'm going to call you and","so, like, there's like this like thing I'm not sure if I even know if this is true or not, but like the fact that like, in China, there's these like,","it's like a big circle, you know? like a big, like, like a like, a giant circle, like a giant, a big circle of like, of, like, you know","I can't believe that. I feel like I'm a bit of a sad sack. But that's alright. That's my thing. And that's alright because I'm going to be a happy","I'm having a hard time explaining it to people that I'm not even sure what to tell them because I feel like I'm just gonna tell them the most basic th","there's no way to keep them all together because they all overlap and they're all trying to compete and they're also trying to cooperate because there","I want to go back to school, I want to go to university. I feel like I could do it, but I donโ€™t know, I donโ€™t really have that motivation. And I think","and it's kind of funny because I was like, it's like you know, when you're like, I'm just gonna look at this I'm like, I just got a whole bunch of","I don't think it's going to end. Like it's a good thing. I think it's a thing I really want to keep. I want to keep this going. I want it to","I have like I'm seeing this little girl in my mind and she's just like jumping in the air. Like I don't know why, it's just like she's doing this in m","And I was like, oh no I'm going to have to write an email... oh my god it's like a half an hour till I have to send it... and I'm like, what","I was just thinking about a math class I had today in like 6th grade, so I was like, 'Okay, this is how you do it, so, like, this is,","I know I was born in like the 80s, but I'm like in the 90s... I mean, I'm like, I'm still young... so I don't","this is how I think about the world. I think about this thing here. It's like this. I'm like this. ...It's like this, but it's also like this. It","1 + 1 is 2, 1 + i is 2. 1 + u is 2. I guess that's how it's supposed to work. It's supposed to","like a snake slithering over my shoulder... I feel like I am in the middle of a dream. Like a dream, this is a scene that I saw earlier that day. I ha","and i think this is me sitting on the side of a lake, looking at this little tree, and there's just a lot of water in the background. And it's just ve","like... it's not even a scene, but it's like a picture or a song, and then it's like I'm listening to it and it's like it's in my ears and then","i was like, oh, i forgot what i was thinking. so then, i remember, and i'm like, i'm trying to think of something else. i'm like i don't want","the light is turning red. I can see a tree in the distance. I have an idea. I'm gonna try to think of something else to write about. I'm writing this ","1021440... 0.6536621999481201 98455.49031","there are 1000's of people who don't know that i exist, so i'm gonna try and spread the word about me, i don't really have anything to say right now","(1901-1949) was a Japanese manga artist and animator. He was famous for his manga series, including , , , , and . His most famous series was the","the name of a girl (who has had a name change recently), I think her new name is Ophelia. I donโ€™t know what the name was originally. Iโ€™m not sure why ","so I guess I have no idea how to start writing a song right now but I have an idea for a title, if I were to write one. I'm not sure how I'd write it","it's like... like a like a like... a like... like, like like like like... like like like it's like like like, it's like, like it's, like... like","[a]nd the guy from [my first team] is the guy who is like this...but he's like a big nerd...he's like...he's actually [a] huge nerd","you're talking about the fact that it's a question of, it's a very big question of, uh, if you do, if you did the math wrong, like you, you know,","I guess I'm just bored. And I don't even know why I'm bored, because I'm like just sitting on a train going like 220 kilometers an hour and just like ","i don't like that. i'm not going to write that. i don't know why, i just don't like it. that's fine, i can do something else. like i know","I can't feel the effects of the drug that I took. I want to feel the effects, I really do. And then I'll be able to get out of this room and go home.","Iโ€™m not gonna go there. No, itโ€™s okay. I donโ€™t know what the fuck this is. Oh, Iโ€™m still on the screen. Oh, donโ€™t look at it,","the one who did this was the one that was already wearing a mask...? I don't know, it's very strange... it's not something I thought of. It's the only","I want to be able to get my mind back on track because I'm on this whole whole crazy journey with this guy and I don't want it to go anywhere, you kno","I can see the entire history of this world, every single second of it. And then I have to ask myself: how is it that I, or anyone else, can know what ","I'm talking to the dead. Like I'm talking... I'm talking at them... I'm like talking to the past, I'm like a ghost... I'm just talking to ghosts... I","I've always thought of him as being the kind of person that you'd think of as someone who would just kind of be like, 'Oh yeah, I don't know, I don't ","thereโ€™s a guy named Jaden and heโ€™s one of the few people in this group of friends whoโ€™s like a completely different person with their real self, so he","I think it might be like when I was 12. And my brother, he was a bit older than me, was like 14, he was like, the king of our block","I've never seen a girl in a bikini before...she's cute but...she's not my type...she's just a girl in general...but, it's a first for me...I","what's the point of this? Why are we doing this? It's like a social experiment, a very shallow, basic one, with no real consequences, and if you say i","you're still a bit of an asshole to her, though. You know. You're probably gonna make her cry more, even. I don't know, I just got a gut feeling that'","and then there are the ones who are like, they have a phone number and you say, hey, give me your number and they don't give it to you and then you're","[a]nother thing that bothers me a lot is like [my] birthday party. Iโ€™m gonna turn 20 in a few weeks. And I just like donโ€™t want like my","what I think we should do is have a big dinner in the future, and you can get in a good mood with that. I like when my family gets together, but I don","I am thinking about you guys...you know, we did that...I don't know why I'm doing this, but we're just hanging out...I donโ€™t wanna be alone, I don","oh my gosh! I'm like so bad at this, this is not me! I don't have any voiceover ideas, and it's like, oh god I have this one voiceover","i'm thinking about some people, i have some people i care about that, um, i know are... they're really depressed right now, and they're, and they just","my thoughts, it's not gonna happen again. I think. It's not gonna be a thing again, so it's like I don't have to worry about it. But it is a thing","and I've been thinking about if I was to die tomorrow and my friends would come to my funeral, I think I'd be like, 'I'd rather you all came to my fun","so I'm thinking about how I feel like my brain has been... like, just all over the place, it's like, I feel like it's like a huge mess. Like, like my","I remember a time when I didn't really like him, but I'm like, 'Oh, I don't really want to be with him,' and he's like, 'Yeah, I just","this is the same place as where I live right now but with more food. This is actually very interesting because I've never lived in a big house and it'","like it's like it's got a little bit more, a little bit less of like, a, a, yeah, just like that it's like like it's a little bit, like it","itโ€™s just a thought, itโ€™s not like itโ€™s a concrete, like, itโ€™s like, it feels like an idea, but itโ€™s just like, it can be, it can be","I guess I'm going to be a real life's like a movie...[laughter] but the real life's not as good as the movie cause the movie's just like...the movie's","I'm thinking about a video, the one that was released by Apple. It's basically about this, the guy in the video, is, I don't know, the same guy that's","my head is just like a blender. Everything just comes and goes all the time, so I can't even talk about what's going through my mind right now because","I don't know if I want to go to bed right now, but I want to get out of the house. It's a little bit uncomfortable for me to be out of my house right ","it's weird, I'm feeling weird. I feel like I'm a robot in a world that is not me. I feel a bit like I'm having a nightmare, that I'm in this","I'm at home, I've been home for a while and I just woke up and I don't feel like anything at the moment. I feel a bit weird because I was in a bit of","you have a lot of people who just don't care about your feelings, I think, so it's very important to learn how to cope with people like this, because ","so I had a weird dream last night, so I don't know if it's related or not. But I was like I was in my car, I was driving down the highway, and I","I feel a lot of things, so I'm having a hard time trying to choose a good way to talk to my mother. I feel like it's something I need to do, but I don","I don't know if it's just me but... I don't even know how to feel about... about the... the new world. I don't want to have that conversation. I'm so","I'm going to call my wife. I think I should start a new blog or something. Like, it's like when you have a bunch of random thoughts and ideas and stuf","I want to change something in my life. It's not about money or anything. I'm trying to find the right words to describe it. Maybe it's about finding t","[my son] is having a rough time in the first grade, [he's] in the middle of an IEP meeting today to discuss his social, behavioral, and learning needs","you know the problem with this is that itโ€™s really hard to find people who are willing to be part of a study like this, especially for those who are s","I just don't really have a problem. I'm okay with all that stuff. The problem is not that I'm a bad person. It's that I'm not a very good one. So","I just was thinking, I think that a lot of people that are very good at work don't necessarily have a lot of social skills or emotional intelligence. ","So, I just want to do more work in my free time. I think I have a lot of free time. So, I think I can do more work if I can. I'm a","and I'm going to take this to the next level, and I'm like, you know, I'm like that's what you need, that's what everyone needs. I'm just like,","you have to make a lot of changes, like you were talking about before. I can't go back to this one because it's too stressful and I've got to focus on","[I'm] feeling like I'm not really living in the moment because I'm so much in my head. And like I said, it's a lot of stress. It's a lot,","I was a child. I was at an event with my dad, and I was trying to learn, and I kind of like to be on the top of the charts and be the best, and","I want to be a better human being. I want to help people in need. I want more empathy. I want compassion for everyone around me. I want less drama. I ","you know, I've got a feeling that I've been through this before, but I can't quite remember what it was exactly. I've got this sense of deja vu, like ","I see myself in the past, and I'm trying to think of why I'm feeling the way I do and how to change it. I see myself having a conversation with a stra","I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't think I have any feelings. I mean, I don't want to feel them. I don't like feeling. I want to feel,","and you think I'm an asshole because I don't ask you to get on my case about everything all the time and I'm a bad partner because I'm not good at mak","you know what's funny is like, like if you were like to, like if I were like, I mean, like, if I were you, I'd probably, you know, like,","this is the part where I am really, I am a lot more creative than I used to be. So itโ€™s like, itโ€™s like a lot of these like, like I say, like","so if we can't do that, right, and we're in a situation like that and it's, uh, a lot of people are in the situation, like we're trying to get them","I think what I need to be thinking about, I think the next step is going to be a big step. I know that I need to stop working on these little, these s","I think we'll probably be okay, right? ... I'm not sure we are. I think we're going to be okay. I mean, it's just like the first year, right?","like, if you're really feeling down about something, like I was feeling down about my job, you know, like, how do I, how do you get back? I think just","and then we're going to do more of the same stuff again, I guess. I guess I don't know what I'm supposed to do next. Like I don't have a sense of dire","like when you're out of food and like it's like, you know, a bad day and like your, you know your grocery bills have piling up and you're trying to pa","you know, I'm like, I have to go back to like a local grocery store like if I had to like pick something up like for work or something like that I wou","I'm going to go to the park and get my dog... I haven't been able to do that... since [in April] when we had the tornado... so, I've just... I","and I don't want to see the same old thing. I'm sick of being sick, so I'm thinking about starting this new job. But I'm so worried that my new job wi","I was sitting in the office yesterday, and my assistant said, 'Hey, we have to go to the gym,' and I said, 'Okay, I'll go, but can I order in","I'm so happy you're doing this. I'm excited because I'm in a better place with the job. So I'm excited. I think you're going to like the job. I think","and I'm sure that we're doing our best, and we've been doing this a while, but sometimes, I mean, it's so easy to make mistakes. I just remember the l","I was going to take this for you, I should have done that, because I was like, oh my god, it's so close, it's like you're like a five minute walk away","I just thought about what I did yesterday with my daughter. And I just thought that the other day I was on the phone with my dad, and he's like, 'Do y","I'm not sure, I'm not sure if it was a real experience. I just sort of like it's a cool experience, I think I'm having an experience, I don't know if","And then I realized that this is what I'm doing in the past 3 years, I've been in this job for 3 years and I'm like, okay. I'm going to have","I'm at my mom's house in a few hours, so that's what I'm gonna do. It's a really good place to get away from everything. I've been struggling with thi","yeah I'm wondering if we should just cancel the meeting cause it's been raining a lot and it's been cold a lot. I haven't seen my friends in a while, ","I want to work with people who have experienced trauma, like refugees. It would be an incredible project to create an app or website that helps them p","and then we are just, like, in a real rush to go, so Iโ€™m like, Iโ€™m trying to find a place thatโ€™s like, a good place, and weโ€™re, we","I feel like I've lost a lot of friends recently... it's really sad because it's been a long time since I had friends who were like, really, like, you ","I'm thinking about my phone, and how my phone was being annoying today. Because I was at my mother's house, and I was getting a lot of notifications. ","so I feel like I'm in the middle of nothing. I don't know. I feel like a lot of my emotions are in check at the moment. But I feel like they've been a","okay, it's like a lot of people that I know and I kind of just have like, you know, a lot of anxiety and like, and like, so like, like, it's","it's like the song was playing and I was like, 'no, it's not the song you want to listen to, I'll go listen to something else.' I was just thinking ab","and then I had this idea that if we're going to talk about the idea of what is the most important thing in your life, I think it's the relationship wi","this is kind of interesting, I was reading about the concept of flow, it's the idea that it's a state where you're fully immersed in whatever you're d","I don't know if this is even the right question. Maybe there's something missing from the question. It's not really about what I'm experiencing in my ","the 40th anniversary of 9/11 is coming up next year and I wonder what the world will look like in ten years. What will be the political climate? What ","I am the creator. I am the one who creates. I am able to do so and it is just me doing it. The only thing I need is to do it. I do it from","it is very clear that we are seeing a change in our environment as it relates to the earth and our environment and the ability for people to have an i","and then the first thing I thought of, and it's so funny because I remember, this is a long time ago, and I was in college. I was a freshman in colleg","I think my sister is going to be really excited. I'm going to be here with my sister and my wife and my children, and I'll be able to show them my fir","the...the first thing that came to mind is I...I...I'm gonna get a really good bed and it's like, I'm just thinking about, like, I know I want to","I'm thinking about getting an avocado, or something, because my avocado has gone bad. And then it just hit me that I can't stand avocado. I just don't","so, it's a way to think, like when I'm driving somewhere and I have my head down and I'm thinking about something I'm going to do after I get there, l","I just remembered my aunt, and sheโ€™s like, 'you should have a home gym. You need to have a home gym because youโ€™re going to be at home a lot.' Like, s","my next goal, next plan, is to figure out how to make this work, you know, where I work, where I live, and just, you know, do all of these different t","I was watching this video on YouTube of the old, old, old guys. And it's a really funny video, but I don't know if you've seen it. It's just like,","yeah I was just talking to a friend, a new friend, actually, who's in like the same field of psychology. So she's been studying. She's studying, uh, h","I'm not sure exactly, but I'm probably 60, 65, 67 at this point. I'm going to go 3 years with, yeah, you know,","I'm like a normal person. I just don't have that like, the whole thing, I don't really know what it is. I just know I'm not, you know, I have","and like I said, I think it's kind of like in the future, where they'll be like, 'hey, what's going on?' And then you'll be like... 'I'm","it's funny, I remember this episode where I was playing the game with my friends and I'm playing on PC and they're on the mobile, so it was like this ","and then I went back to the desk. Like, I went to the desk, and I was like, I can't believe it's already 2:10 p.m. and it's","like I just don't know why I'm like this or why I'm so obsessed with like all these different things that I'm like... why? What is the point? And I do","I've been wondering, like, do you guys play Minecraft? And I think it's, like, a game where you're like building, you know, like a whole, a whole worl","I'm trying to figure out why you keep asking me to do that. Why you keep asking about the moon. I mean, like, I'm like, 'Okay, I'm gonna help you","itโ€™s like, I guess itโ€™s just like, like, like how I think of, like, how I think about, like, um, like, the whole idea of, like, you","so I'm trying to figure out what happened with that cat and the mouse. I think I heard on a show that it's like a cat can get like a cat mouse thing a","And I was thinking about what I should do now that I've gotten this thing together. What should I do? Should I just kind of keep it in my room or shou","the reason I'm not in a hurry is because it's a slow day at the office, so I don't have any deadlines. I'm kind of like, 'Hey, I have this slow","so, um, I'm thinking about, you know, like, you could go ahead and, you know, make a comment about it, like, 'I'm going to take a break now","[I]magine an all-you-can-eat buffet, and you get to choose what you eat. How much is it gonna cost? How much is an all-you-can-eat buffet going","uh, I got a lot of work done, but I also kind of felt like I needed a little break. So, I took a break and I went on the internet and I was like,","yeah it's kind of scary and I don't think they'll do it at my school. It'll be more like they'll say they're just going to be like hey I'll put the ca","the idea of like a giant like a big fish swimming like a giant fish swimming like that you know swimming in like a river and it's like it's like like ","the way that I usually start to do this is like I'm watching this movie and I'm like what's this like? What is this like? It's like, yeah, I guess, li","uh, yeah. Like, we're doing this in class, um, this is like the last class of the semester, which is like a great thing. Like I don't know how I feel","you have to talk about it in front of the group and make it super obvious like 'I have this question to ask the professor' and then say it, like you h","um, and and then she uh, she said I could have it for the weekend like you know the first one and the second one and then I was like well the first on","I think it was like two weeks ago when I was at my friends place and my friend is like, I'm playing with my mom's phone, and I was like, okay, so like","I think my brother is so annoying. He's just annoying and he's just like the worst. It's just like he's the worst brother ever. It's like he's just an","the people that I was saying something about earlier. I was just gonna say, I feel like a lot of people on here, I know for me at least, I was like, I","my phone, so I don't know if that's going to be good because it's like, like I don't like when my parents, you know, make me take my phone away. And","I'm just gonna be like, okay, I have to make a trip, uh, to get my cat uh, her collar uh, that she wears. Um, I forgot to get it for","I've been thinking about my old school, like, I didn't go to school in the last four years, and like I want to get back there, like because I don't li","like I said, the other day I had an idea for a short story, and I wanted to write it, but I didn't want to spend the time, so I just...I'm gonna","the first day, I saw the girl, and it was like...she was talking to me. And I was like, 'oh my god, I just saw this girl and it was weird.","I'm going to the market... I want to buy some bread... I want a new pair of shoes... I want to go to the gym... I'm tired of sitting on my couch all d","[thinking] about the most annoying person [name], and I think I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight... I think I need to go to sleep, but I don't ","I don't want to have to do that again because it's really hard. Like I'm going to have to sit through a lecture. Like it's really just a bad day today","I want to tell my mom that I'm not coming home today. Like, I'm going to have a really big fight with her about her being an abusive parent. She's lik","I've been on Zoom meetings with my friends. I've been talking to my friends a lot. I'm trying to stay connected with people. I don't know, maybe I sho","and I just have like this little piece of a thought in my head, which is like, what if, uh, one day, I don't want to get married again and I don't wan","I'm working on a blog post now, but it's not quite finished yet. I just want to make sure that my argument is clear, and that I'm not missing any impo","So I'm like, I don't know, like, I want to be able to like, be able to do like, you know, like do a lot of things. Like, I want","umm ... okay, so I was thinking about this problem that we had at work, so like we were doing this project and I was like, you know, I'm going to do t","I know I'm gonna be up late tonight, and I'll probably end up being up until 2 am, and then I'll be in bed and I'll just be like, 'oh no","I'm thinking of something fun. I'm gonna go do that thing where I just go outside and run and run and do a bunch of laps around my neighborhood. I'm s","the new things we learned today in class and how that applies to what we do in our day to day. It's like the whole idea of like what do I do today lik","the movie I saw this weekend was this movie called The Batman and it was like I didn't get what it was about but I'll give it a watch on the Netflix a","I remember in college we had to do this thing where we had to find something and it had to be a real thing that's real and then like...I remember in a","I like a lot of the games in the last two seasons, like the last game when I won like 5 games and I won that game like a lot, and then I won like the ","I wonder what it would be like to be a professional, just like you. I'm curious how you feel about it. You said you like being a writer and you do a l","I'm just sitting here, like I've been doing this for years and it's just... I feel like I'm just kind of going through the motions, you know? I don't ","and I feel really happy right now...I'm really happy...I'm happy, I feel happy...I feel really happy...and I feel like I'm doing something really awes","[it's] a bit of a difficult one I've been working on for the last couple of months and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm working on it in a more c","what I don't know is how I can make the most of the time I have in my life. I guess the next step is to create a budget, right? I'm thinking about cre","it's really important to me. I know it's not the easiest thing to do because I need to be able to communicate with people and I need to have a good so","I've been thinking a lot about the topic of empathy in the workplace, and I believe it is incredibly important for fostering a positive and productive","I'm not sure what you're talking about. Like, you can't say, like, you're going to have to have a lot of people, and I'm not sure, you know,","[i]t was really amazing, just sitting there, listening to my thoughts, and it was really difficult to focus on a single thing. Like, I had so many dif","I have a really good day today. It's a really good Monday morning, and I'm just really happy to be able to get the day going, and I think I'm just a l","And then you have to decide whether or not you're going to do it. Like, I mean, I can't believe you're going on a trip to New Orleans right now. But I","it's good. It's really good. I'm so glad that I'm on a diet now. I'm actually losing weight and it's really fun because I'm like, you know, like","I was really, really upset with him for that. And I think it was because I was stressed, because he's like, 'I can't do anything without you'. I was l","I'm feeling better, I think. It's really nice, honestly. I think it's so interesting. It's so fascinating, but I know there's a lot of bad people on t","it's like having the option to make decisions based on what you're currently going through. It's like it gives you a choice. But sometimes I think it'","my old laptop, I feel so good, you know what, I'm going to update my old laptop. I'm going to just run some virus scans on it, make sure it's secure,","what's happening? I don't understand this at all. Why can I't go back to sleep? It's not enough to have an insomnia problem. It's also an anxiety prob","and that's a lot of work to do, and then to see your work. I think that's what people do. I think they do a lot of thinking, but then they don't see","I'm going to have to go back to the beginning again and make some more plans... I'm going to get this in, get my house in order... get my money... get","I'm in a weird place where I just think, what's happening right now, I'm just looking around and I don't know what I'm looking for. I feel like I'm lo","I'm going to be at this conference and I'm going to see like 250 people I've never met in my entire life, and I'm like, 'Oh, this is a","this is what's happening now...i think that I'm going to be late for my meeting...I need to...I need to start...I need to do this by this time next we","yeah, it's all a little bit. It's all a bit of a blur. It's hard to remember where I am in my life. And it's hard to. I feel like I","my brain is literally just trying to make sense of everything. I am trying to understand, like, how do we keep people safe and how do we help them and","I don't really know if I'll be able to do it because I'm really not that confident in that area, in my own work experience I haven't really had the op","my thoughts about what I want to do in the next five years to be able to grow my company. I've done a lot of this thinking in the last two years, but ","I think that when people look at you, they might feel uncomfortable. When you talk to them, they might just feel like they've been told they are wrong","so I thought I would try it and it's like it's a bit like meditation but with this like you know the physical part. It's like you know just you're you","it's going to be okay. I think that...you know...the important thing is to keep moving forward and just trust in the process. It's like when you're do","[t]his is just something that I think about that I'm really happy with. I think that when we started this whole whole thing, I think that I was thinki","I was at this party, like, it was a lot of people like, but it was kind of like, it's just a bunch of people, like, just kind of hanging out. I","and I think a lot of people probably like to have this, like a little bit of like a mental space where they can kind of process things and think thing","I'm thinking about this whole project, and I'm thinking, you know, like, it's been so long since I've been able to just like, do the stuff that I'm go","and I'm just like, you know, I feel like I have the energy. I feel like there's like, this is kind of a thing I've been thinking about for a while, ju","and then I think about how I've always been so hesitant to be like this because I think like most people that like a lot of people like I think people","I'm still looking into the concept of a language model that is good at producing a wide variety of content, while also being able to provide useful, s","I am trying to think about the topic of AI and LLMs and what my current understanding of AI is, and why it's important for me as someone who is intere","the sun is bright, there's some blue sky... my car has some damage... I have a very tight schedule, so I'm always in a hurry... my mom... she's 86","just a random thought I was thinking about... about my 9 month old son and how he's like, he's like a miniature version of me but like, in like... lik","I think we're all a little bit tired from all of the work that we've been doing. I know that my group has been really working hard, but we're all taki","my colleague is working on a project and is really struggling. Itโ€™s related to the [inclusion of] different cultures in the work. Itโ€™s really a new te","we just met on the internet, I feel a connection with you that I don't have with any of the other people. And you're in a lot of the same circles as m","it was a bit of a difficult week for me, I think, so I think I may have just been feeling a bit low, but it wasn't just low. It was more like I was","you know, I was wondering, you know, if I can tell you, I was thinking about this, I'm looking forward to that, you know? I'm not sure, but I'm","there were two things that I did this morning when I was waking up, and I just wanted to jot down that I think they're kind of related. And that is th","I think I'm going to do that. Yeah. So I've got this idea, that I could maybe make some more money by starting a new business, and I'm thinking of doi","and I've been thinking that's what you mean by like, what we have in the U.S. right now is this is the second world war, like, yeah, there's a lot of","I guess it's, like, a really important thing to be able to find that right balance between having enough information, so that you're making good decis","I mean I've been reading the newspaper a lot over the past month or so, and I think that's part of it, you know, like I'm going through a lot of the n","And it's also really important to have people who have expertise on the ground in countries where it's needed. There's a lot of talk about humanitaria","And I was looking at the... the people in the UK... I mean, I don't know if you've ever been to the UK but people... it's... people are very different","And it's not really a big issue. And there is a lot of other stuff that you need to do. But I've been really excited about the opportunity to get in a","and so I'm working on this and it's the kind of thing where I've written about the book and then there's been a book, a follow up book or a companion ","so it's hard to make predictions in an environment like this where people are trying to stay the same and not do anything different. So for me, it's v","what I'm thinking now is a bunch of stuff. I'm going to go to the beach in San Francisco next week for a few days to catch up with my friends from hig","it's funny you say that, because I have an old friend of mine, he's a doctor from...well, from a different country, actually. He's from France. And he","what I think is that this whole situation that you know in this whole country of being the target of the greatest anti-racist campaign in the history ","and then I was in the room and I just I just you know like I can't like I can't understand why I'm here right now. And you know that I was in a meetin","yeah I think I would probably prefer if I was living in the Netherlands right now... I have had a couple of conversations with friends about this rece","I'm sorry for the things that I did with you. I did a lot of things wrong. You are probably thinking, 'why do you do that? Why do you do this to us?","you know, I don't like being stuck in a job that I don't really enjoy, and so it's been, like, really hard to just find, like, a job that you're","itโ€™s not a question of being more self-critical, I mean itโ€™s more a question of you know you know itโ€™s not about that, itโ€™s more about itโ€™s about a di","I would say that the issue with the public is that the people in the public donโ€™t trust the government. The government is a corrupt system. The govern","you know, I think it's like this, I think in my life I have a lot of friends that are like, I think, you know, they're very kind. But you know,","there's an argument that this is a more democratic form of education than some other forms. For instance, in my university, the students are more like","I think it's great that the world has so many opportunities for people to get things wrong, for people to be wrong. And I think that's good because th","I think we're in this situation today because of the way we're structured in the US, in general, but also within the university. There's a lot of ineq","I'll just go back to a moment in my life where I was actually the CEO of a company and we were trying to raise capital. We were going to be IPOing, an","I am a bit of an extremist when it comes to the fact that the more you can do at the same time the better. Because this is the world we live in and we","if it's a system that has been tested over time, and the data shows that this is an effective system and it has the ability to improve our lives, we s","I think the most important thing I've learned so far in this class is just how much the research and the papers that I was reading on this stuff that ","I've always wanted to make my own videos, but I feel like my skills aren't up to par and I don't have the time or resources to commit to a serious pro","and, of course, I don't think, I can't think, if I don't have enough data. Like, if you're trying to write a book, you need to know everything,","And we're still doing this research. The government, we can talk about the government. What does the government do, what's its role in terms of govern","I think of these as being things that we really want to do, and then when we have these large-scale projects, we can look at those things as being thi","So it's a nice place. A lot of people come to talk about it, but I've never actually been there. I haven't actually seen the place. So what do I think","I remember that my wife has a business card and I had her send one out to me, and I'll get this one back in a couple of days. And so, that will be one","So that is, we had this discussion that there are a lot of countries that have more than one official language, right. So like Canada, for example, ha","a lot of it has to do with how people are thinking and what they are saying. People have different views on things, and it's hard to get them to agree","I think there's a lot of good in that. But you have to keep that in mind as you go through the system, that that's the underlying goal of what we're t","I am going to have to wait until tomorrow to give you that answer, because I can't just think of an answer to that right now. I mean, it's a tough que","but, you know, you just really want to be a better person, and there are ways to be a more effective person. And it's a very simple concept, right? Yo"],["I could always be going out, but I always like to read, even if I'm out of the house... I'm not going to take my book with me, but I'm going to read","it's a little bit like being in an airplane, that it's so far from you. That's the other thing with the airplane, that you don't hear anything, and it","I can't help thinking about all the things that happened before I was born. If I didn't know about any of that, then I would never have been born. I w","And that's the thing. I'm not even sure that that's the case. I mean, it's probably the case, but I'm not sure. I think that there's something that's","I'm trying to think of things to write in the journal, but I don't have anything right now. I'm going to be going to the library tomorrow, but I can't","I think you can think of it like this: you get a problem, it's a problem, and you know it's a big problem because you know the implications and conseq","and that's all they [the police] knew, that there was no evidence, and they had to charge him anyway, so it would have to be done. He [the lawyer] cou","I have no idea if you're a genius or not, and I don't know why you don't tell me that you're a criminal. I'm not interested in finding out why you're ","I have an idea of a nice new way to write a book. I will start with a series of images. Then I will build a whole series of images around those initia","I just saw my mother and sister again. It was nice. But my father was there too. So that made it difficult. It's just that there was a kind of an agre","[t]he thing that I have most enjoyed in the past, I would say, has been the [newspaper] article in which I have made use of this new vocabulary of [sc","the paper has come to me with the whole lot of it. It is a great deal longer than I intended, but that is just as well. I must have more to do than I ","I don't believe that the thought of a single being can be realized by the mind of man. No mind of man can comprehend the thought of one being, if by b","and, then, when the children, for example, in a public school, in a certain district, are selected to be placed in the higher class, it is the teacher","the first thing that came to my mind was the way in which one of the most important things about the way in which a person lives and behaves and think","but then, of course, what do I know about the psychology of the unconscious? It's one of those problems that will not come to an end. In the same way,","there were two things that I couldn't quite understand. First was the theory of relativity, which I was never able to master. I must have been somewha","a second thought occurs. One imagines the person's mind being so cluttered that, in the absence of a focus of attention, it may seem to be moving abou","and now I want to give myself a reason to take it up again, and I think the reason is that, after the first time I had taken it up, I had to take it d","I am now at home, and have my old self back again. It is the same old man as before. I have to return to it, but the difference is that my thoughts ha","I can think about how I have always been thinking about myself. I can think, for instance, that I have been thinking about me as a very active person.","I am writing and I am reading the text I am writing, and I am writing and reading. What I write, I read, and what I read I write again. This is the pr","a number of years ago I wrote a short story, 'The Blue Flower'. It was published in 'The New Humanist' in 1932. I am now going to try to","I have a few more to add, but I won't dwell too long on them. They're all quite trivial. One of these is: the problem of the universe, if there is a u","I am writing about this [notebook, which contains the above transcription] ... I am writing in an old notebook ... in an old, unbound notebook. I am w","I had a thought on the way here. In a study by some British psychologist (I can't remember his name, nor the year of publication), it was demonstrated","the little black box at the top of the page, which, in the first instance, was the actual computer, the second was the program, and the third was the ","there's another problem of course. I'm sitting on the sofa in my study. I have this machine in front of me. And I'm connected to this machine. I have ","I don't understand the 't' here. I'm not sure. I know what it is. I know the concept. I know that it has to do with the time, the time of","oh yeah. Right. I'm going to have to think about that. I wonder if I should ask for an extension on the paper. No. It's not that. I've got to write","so I have an idea of how this works and so I've taken a couple of points of the 666 and I've looked at what's going to happen after that and then I've","So, then, I got to the point where, because the function of the algorithm is to generate a random number, I can just generate a bunch of random number","this is the solution. To use a formalism for the entire set of theories, including the ones I mentioned before, including the one with the squares, we","there is something about the problem of the moon landing that's hard to understand. There were no instruments on the moon and there was no data on the","I have two groups, X and Y. I want to determine whether a given variable A has a statistical significance difference on X and Y, and I have a data set","you can't say, 'This is the definition of a tree'. You can't say 'This is a tree' or 'This is not a tree', because it's not clear which one you","this is an interesting problem... let's think about it some more, and see if it turns out to be an interesting problem, or if it turns out that it is ","I think I will try the same thing with the other word as well. It's not exactly the same thing but the difference is not much. The idea is to make the","I can see that I'm looking at the same object (a window frame, in the room where I'm sitting) as you. That's how we can tell that I'm in the same room","but then there's a point at which there are two types of memory, there's what I could call a spatial memory, like the map of my house, and a semantic ","a piece of wood, a piece of wood. A piece of wood and a piece of metal, and a piece of paper, and a pair of scissors. So this is the raw material, thi","I've had the feeling in the past few days that the universe is expanding, or something is expanding, and I wanted to investigate what it is, because t","I'm trying to think about what it means to say that something is the same. This is a little bit different from what I thought. In the last example, wh","this is a very complex thought, I think I will think about it. I am thinking about thinking. I'm thinking about what I am doing in the course of think","I have an image of my friend that has been with me for a long time. This image is in some sense a sort of representation of myself in the world. It is","I remember, I'm looking for a certain kind of something. I can't remember the name. It's the one in which the notion that every object is in fact the ","that is what makes it very interesting, that it's actually something that we could really say it's the opposite of a proposition. I don't know, maybe ","it's been a long time. There's been an interruption of some kind. The word 'time' means something. There are certain words that are useful and useful.","it's kind of a mindless routine. You get used to it after a while, it becomes more automatic. I'm kind of aware of what I'm doing now, but that's a li","I am not sure if it's a coincidence that I am thinking of this and that, but maybe it is something else. There are many things I am thinking about, an","you can't have a general system of arithmetic that is complete, because of the existence of the incompleteness theorem of Gรถdel. You can't have an eff","I'm going to read this book on the basis of the first 15 or 20 pages, and if it's interesting I'm going to continue reading, and if not I'm going","I know what that means... it means you have to have an axiomatic base for every theorem. You cannot prove the correctness of that. You can only show t","I am a good boy. I have good thoughts. Good thoughts, good things. I have been told, and I am told, that I have good things in me. Good things, good t","that is to say the problem of the mind as a computer is the problem of a machine which is not itself a machine, and which has no algorithm and is not ","I can't think about the truth. The truth is that I'm a woman and I love. I can't get away from that, and I can't escape it. That's the truth.","so, in effect, that's what I'm doing now: I'm trying to make a distinction between my mind, my brain, the physical mechanism that I know exists, and t","I've always thought that a human being is like a machine: I think that it is made of things. For example, the parts are like organs, which are like el","and I wonder whether what's happening in my head is in some sense the same as what happens to the brain in the unconscious. ... So it's like a mirror ","I feel like I'm in a movie, you know. I am the director. I'm watching myself and the actors, and I'm controlling what is being said at any given momen","this is a little bit of a problem, is it? I'm a little bit slow to be able to, I think I need to think of something I'm familiar with. Okay, so I","[the participant]...starts to move his hand, but...he doesn't actually move his hand. He just keeps saying 'no', 'no', and then he goes back to thinki","... ... I'm writing this in the same place, and this is the same room where I was in the previous session, and I'm not doing anything, I'm just thinki","this is like, you know, when we were looking at the data, we were trying to determine how to characterize this, and then you get a sense, you're not r","and we've already found a formula for calculating the number of atoms of a given element, that is, the atomic number, in a compound. And we'll take an","I see that I'm really interested in a way of doing quantum mechanics, but it has to be done in an entirely different way. It has to be a different way","and you want to know what I would be thinking, you know, in a normal situation. And what would you expect to see, in a very simple way, what would you","a man. He's not a good man, but he's a good man. He was a good man in the sense that he was the kind of man who could go into a situation in the","I've been in the past, when you get out of a car, and you want to get out, but you get out the car and you realize that you can't get out the car,","a feeling that something is wrong. It's something in the way the wind moves through the leaves. A feeling that you're not in touch with the wind. That","I'm thinking about the plane. The airplane, I can hear it moving through the air and moving through the sky. The airspeed is increasing. It's accelera","we'd better look out for these guys, they're getting away from us, we're getting caught up with them, we're going to be on a collision course with the","now it's getting dark. It's very dark. I'm sitting in the dark. It feels cold. It's cold here. My feet are cold. My feet and my legs feel cold.","I'm in the forest. I'm going to go through the forest to the school, I don't know how to go. There's no way to go, I don't have a way to","it's a way of seeing, a way of feeling the space, the direction, the movements, the jumps, the jumps of the feet, the jumps off, the jumps on, the jum","so we can see this ... and this ... the edge of the cube, this is the edge of a cube. ... so this is an edge, we see the edge of that cube here ... so","I just finished up the end of a long piece of text. Now I've started on another, with a different font and a different color. And this is a lot easier","the scene with the dog was in my head and it was a bit funny. The dog is not the same as before, but it was the same size, it was in the middle of the","my mind is going through the process of coming up with a way to write a program for an embedded processor. I have a series of 7 bytes of data. It is a","so... like... I... I think... that's... I think I should use the... the... the 2600... and I should... I should... do... some kind of","you know, like I'm looking at the monitor here. and I think of the thing about like the number of things. and that's like the thing that I have in min","and you know the last word was a number, so you have to go back and re-look at the last line and see what it was, and then you go back to the last lin","I have this idea. What if there was a machine which could show all the possible futures for a system. And the machine could also show how the system w","I can't see it, because it's all about this big fat white triangle, which is the same as this little fat triangle that's here, which is very big and i","and you look at this and you think: this is going to be a good model for some sort of database. And then you say, 'it looks like it's going to be 10","(5 seconds) ... (2 seconds) ... 12 14 13 (1 seconds) ... [1/3 seconds] ... 21 ... 10 (3","[I think] I need to start with some [I think it's about] an angle [I think about it in] an image [I think the image is about] the circle [I","the number 4321321, which is 1322131, 4332121, 144, 11,","a friend of a friend of mine, this person is a friend of my friend, so I say, 'My friend of a friend' of this other person, this is a friend who knows","okay, i guess i have some sort of idea for this, maybe the idea for this will be... yeah... it's going to be something like, okay, so the first thing ","the more a person learns, the less there is to learn. I can see it happening, but I don't know the details, maybe I should find a way to do this, this","I'm going to think about some things, and then I'll stop. So, here's one thing. You can have a big number, 100, but if you can also have","and I think there's a theorem that says that if the set of the first n primes is in a set of integers, and n is in a different set, then the sum of n ","if the next time you're given a problem, you've got three solutions and you say that you've got to use two, you don't say that you're going to use one","this is my number... (pause) this is a square root of a number... (pause)...(pause) 2x2x2=8... (pause). (Pause) 8","the idea that you are in control of what is going to happen, you're controlling the control, the control of the control. This is really the important ","we would like to think of it as a string of random points in time and space, all of which are interconnected, and to find that in fact, the distance b","The idea that the Universe has a mathematical structure...the fact that we have a mathematical structure in our brains and the fact that the Universe ","[The] idea of a whole being in a small world, where all the action takes place, and all the activity, is that it's really in a small finite world, and","I'm saying this, I'm thinking this and so forth. And then I'm saying something else. And then, you know, what is my thought, or what is my sentence, o","I see some very good things, but I also see some very bad things, which I call bad thoughts, that I should try and get rid of. They're really bad thou","it's the same way in my work. In a work, in a scientific work, the way I see it is, there are two fundamental things: the theory and the practice. In ","you see, it's a very special situation, you see, because if you have, for example, an object, if you have an object, and you see a cube, say, and you","I'm wondering whether you were right to say that the relationship between the world and the world of the mind is not a one to one relationship, but th","you can be here, you can be there, you can exist anywhere. If you do not have the same quantum potential as you are now, you can change that, you can ","I am lying on my back and looking up at the sky. It is dark. I don't see any stars or other points of light. There is just the sky. I can see the shap","I have a feeling, I'm not going to be able to see the universe from the outside. It's a little bit like a hologram. That's because of the fact that th","the word is: 'truth'. Let's see... and what is truth? If I ask you what is truth, you will give me some answer. But if I ask you: what is the","you know, I'm a little bit surprised that we're not talking about the concept of time, or about the relationship between time and space or between spa","and in a different sense it's also something you can think about as a metaphor for the way the brain works. So if the brain is this gigantic system of","that is the idea of a body and I can't say it without a lot of...I think this is related to the way we look at the world. Because when you look at the","I know that I am not conscious of what I am thinking at every moment. I'm not aware of my thoughts, my own consciousness. But then, what are they? Wha","Now I think that we will be talking about something which is so general as to be almost empty. For example, the question 'How are you?' has no answer ","there's a small section of a large number of sections of a tree, and I'm looking at them as though I were a geologist and I were studying a stratigrap","I'm sitting in this chair. I see a lot of things that I could say. But, I can't say anything because it's not a real thing. It's not an object. So","the sea, the sea, what is the sea? Well, it's what the sun makes you see, and in a way, that's right because it's all about perspective. But what's","it's a long way to the center of the galaxy. It's a very, very long way, a very very very long way. There's a very very long time, so that there's","and then I've just come to think that all this is not possible because I don't believe in time, as in the past or future. But I know the past because ","I think that the universe has no time, and therefore that it can be viewed from the standpoint of a mathematical abstraction of a geometrical concept.","now I am looking at this room. ... the whole room is black. ... and it looks like there are some grey things on the wall, and some green things, and s","I can't understand why I've never thought of this before: my room and my closet. A room is three-dimensional. A closet is two-dimensional, but still i","there was a point of view ... it wasn't a point of reference, it was a point that was ... I'll just look at it this way: there's a point in the center","and the person in the picture, the image of the person, is what is seen. But I have also seen a person, and now it seems to me that it is possible to ","and then I saw this, and it's a line of stars and it's like the image of a sphere, so I see the image of the sphere. It's the sphere of the sky.","I want to make a gesture with the hands and then the mind makes the gesture happen. I can do the gesture without the hands. The gesture is a gesture o","and so it's like a time loop. So we have the two elements, we have the body and the consciousness and the interaction between them and so the interact","the new city [is] in the 8000 square kilometres area. There is a lot of room. The city is at the middle of the area. There are other cities in the","we are still in the process of building. ... I am still a part of the whole. ... The whole is me. ... The self is the whole. The self is everywhere. I","And this is the subject, this is the object. You cannot have a subject without an object. Then the subject will disappear, because it will become a pr","and a wave, and a wave, that is, a wave of this ocean which is the ocean of my existence, I am its wave. And I, in a sense, am the ocean,","And I thought, I was so young and I had all this potential, and the potential was so great, that I could have been the most wonderful person, the most","And a lot of people who were trying to take care of the earth, I was the first to say that, and I have not seen that happening. People have been tryin","I see the whole world. I see the universe. I see it in detail. I see every atom. I see that there is no difference between me and you and the tree. I ","... and this is a simple thing, really. It's so obvious it's a tautology: The thought that I am not in my body is a thought that is not in my mind.","the day, the sun is going to disappear, to vanish, and the darkness is going to fall in. The darkness is going to grow, and it is going to come to us ","[s]mall circles are made up of more and more circles, so they're in one. It's not just the little circles that are made up of bigger circles, it's als","there were two planes on this planet. And the first plane was the plane of matter. It was the plane on which the physical body exists. Then there was ","the water is going through the tube, the tube is going through a channel, and the channel is going through an island. But this island has a certain sh","I just made up a name for the place you are in. ... You could have some kind of a name. ... [It's] very beautiful and wonderful. It is in the space. I","this is an experiment in free expression. In fact, this is a very precise expression of that experiment. Here is the expression of the experiment itse","and I just had a sudden idea, a sudden vision, that there is a limit to the speed at which anything can go, and that it is the speed of light. And tha","I am looking at a little girl in a boat. There is a blue boat, and a little girl is sitting in it. She's just a child, and the boat is very tiny. Ther","And in the moment, in the instant, this is how it is. There is nothing wrong with it, nothing that should be changed, it is the way it is, it is itsel","now it is in front of us, but it is not the same as that which is on the outside. This is our experience of time and of space. ... The world we are li","we're being directed. If we don't have any light, we're being pulled into a black hole. If there's any light, we are being pushed out of the black hol","you've got to have a way of getting outside of yourself. You can't escape into an empty universe, because it's empty; but you've got to get out of you","There are several of these stars. They are not just stars; there is something else. We must see how these stars can be represented. We must not put th","this is a very strange place to be. I've been here a long time. I've looked up and down. This place is infinite. I know that, because there is no end ","I am standing here, looking around me. I see nothing, I see no color, no shape. Everything is like a cloud, and I am a cloud, or part of a cloud. The","my mother's grave, you can't go to her grave because there is a wall around it. You can't get to it, and if you had a ladder you could go to the top o","there were a few children, but then there were a few people standing around in the street, and then there were the three girls; and then the man with ","the new apartment has three rooms, but they are very small. And there are no closets, and no big windows. I saw in the papers that there were many apa","this is it. And it is the thing that makes the most of it, that the whole house is in a heap. ...I got my own house, the house was quite a large house","I saw him. He was a sort of very tall fellow. I remember him. He stood by the fire with a hat on, and a long grey moustache. He was sitting by himself","then I'm going to go to the market and get something for my lunch. I think I'll take the green one, a little green thing. I've got something in the ga","and my mind is so tired, so tired. My eyes are tired, too. I can hardly see anything. And I'm thinking, oh, if I can get a chance to sleep, it","and we've got to make sure we can find out how to get to the station. And that we can't miss the bus. I've got to remember, that's right, to buy the","it's going to rain, it's going to start to rain and they'll have a great time. They're going to go for a picnic and have some lunch and go to the fair","and he's looking at my hair... I'm sure he is! It's just that he's looking out of the window. Well, that's not true... he's not looking out of the","and then I remembered I was in the house, and then I was thinking I was going to be sick, and I was looking down at my feet. And then I said, 'Oh, I","I'm not sure what I was saying ... Oh yes, I was saying I have a dream ... I'd like to go to the beach ... I don't like this ... Oh yes I do.","I want to get that thing off and put it in my coat. It's a big thing, like a hat. That's what it is. A hat. And the little boy's coming out","the lady who took me to the garage today. She's a nice lady, but she's so pushy. She went around in the car, making a noise like, 'Oh, you should","I like to sing...when I was a little girl...I was a little...oh, my! My mother! What's that smell? I've got to go out in the kitchen, see","and the other one... [sighs] ... and the other little one is asleep. I can't wait for her to wake up. [laughs] I'll have to dress her. What","I went to the movies tonight, but I can't go tonight. No, I can't. I've got to do my homework, but I don't want to. Oh well, I guess","I've been trying to think what to put down for that. And I know. I know. Oh, no, I can't remember. It's not here. It's on the bottom.","and it's all right to take a nap, isn't it? And when you get home I'm going to take my bath and you can sit down and read something. And I'll get you","and when I was a kid, they made me do it and I don't want to do it. Oh, I don't know, maybe I'd like to go. I think I'll go","I was at a party the other night. A lot of people were dancing. There was a song on and it said, 'He's got the love of your life. She's got the man","we're talking about the time you were here and we took a walk around the lake. I think I was sitting up against the big tree by the house. And you wer","a good little dog ... you don't hear them all day long. ... I want to get him. He is a little dog, a brown dog. ... Oh, I won't have him.","you were going to say what the boy in the picture was doing? ...yes, yes. ...what was he doing? ...I don't know. ...I don't think he was eating anythi","I got my first one here at home, with my father. He's the one that got the best of me when I was little. He'd have me jump off the porch every time I ","I don't think it's ever going to rain today, do you? No, it's a sunny day, it's hot. It's all right, you know, I'm going to make","and my uncle died, he's dead. You know that, right? And my aunt's married to a man called John, and he has a dog called Molly, and she's got a pony","the fisherman...I know, I've been to the fish market...I don't know. The fisherman. There's a fisherman in the market. I went to see the fish.","you know, I am always thinking of my sister. She's only a year younger than me, and I don't want her to go on living with those two little girls all o","I'll take care of things tonight. It's so late, I'll take you home now. We'll get in the car and go, you'll take the dog home with you. I'll","and I'd say to you, 'Look! I'm going to the bank to take out some money for my vacation.' 'Oh! I hope you go, you'll be so glad to see","now you're coming in here with those two little girls. So now you have to get them ready for bed, you have to wash your hands and everything. Then you","that was the first time I saw the dog. ...He came in, he came in, and he said 'Hello, girl', and he said, 'Hello, little one', and he shook","I see a bear. I've never seen a bear before in my life. I wish I would have seen a bear when I was a little girl. I wish that I'd seen a bear.","this is a little funny. I guess the little dog has a big job to do. You know, she can't have any more of those big dogs. She has a big little job. Wel","you've got the key to the house and it's a gold one, and you've got a little boy's red dress on you, and you're all dressed up, and the boy says to","this is a bad thing...I can't stand him...he's the worst thing I ever...he's so awful...I've got a horrible, horrible cold...and I can't go to","I was thinking, if I had to go to bed, I could come up to see you. Then I thought I was just in love with you, and I'll stay here till you get home","the table. I'm sitting at a table and there's a bunch of food. I wonder if there's any left. Oh, there's a lot of food. Oh, that's good.","it was on my birthday. I said, 'I don't know, but I think I'll go. And the other day I thought, oh, I might as well go to the dentist,","I'll get a good piece of paper and a pen, and a pencil, and some tape, and I'll get some more paper for the kitchen, and some more tape and paper for ","the glass I broke in my kitchen. I have to get it off the floor. I'm going to throw it away. I have no money, I'll just throw it away and get a new","it was an old guy that was married to a woman, and they had a dog, and he put it in a hole and covered it up, and the wife thought he put it somewhere","I'm gonna look for a place to get some sleep. And maybe take a bath, too. There's a little park just down the street with a lot of benches. I think we","and the man, the old man with the gray beard, he was standing in the doorway with a big stick, and a big basket on his arm. And he said to the little ","I think we'll take the train up to the North End, and then we'll go down and eat at the place on the corner of West 3rd and Oak. I like the one on","oh, I'm tired of this place. I'd like to see the museum, but it's too far. We haven't been to the museum in a long time. Maybe we could walk around","I can't have that, it would be a lot to handle, but it is a pretty good thing to be in a little place where you can be quiet. It's like that little ho","I'm going to be late for the train. And I don't know why, I haven't been late yet. I wish I'd had a cup of coffee, it's been so long since","the man's feet, that is, the man's feet. He had a long, straight, clean leg; his foot was not too big; it was rather small, but there was nothing wron","and I would give him the other one too. But, there isn't one. Well, there is one. Yes, there is. I would give it to him. No. It's not","and you know how I could just have said, you know, 'I'm going to give you two dollars.' I don't know why I didn't say two dollars. Why I didn't?","and that would be funny, wouldn't it. Well, it would. I wonder what that'd look like, a real life-size toy truck, just like that. I could. Well, I","what would I do if you asked me to kiss you? ...I'd probably say, 'I'm not going to kiss you'....If you asked me if I was going to kiss you,","well, I could say the one word, and then another one and then another and then another word and then another, and then a few words, and then say all t","I mean, I was just thinking how much I liked that book, the one that I read on my birthday. I like that book, and then I think, that's a really funny ","and a girl came out of a room with a white dress on. And she had a white hat on it, and she was holding a big doll. And the doll had a black dress on ","and if you don't get me, then you can say no, and I'll say yes to you. And if you don't like my shoes, you can put them back on my head and","it's like that with your mom, we have a lot of times like this and I do like that too and you know like the way she put her hair back in a ponytail an","my mind keeps going like that. I know a girl...a little girl. She's very cute. She's got black hair, and she's got big blue eyes. She wears pink dress","I don't think he's ever been married, either. But he's not as old as I thought. He looks about nineteen. And he's got a hat on, but no gloves. No","I don't want to see you any more...I don't even want to see your mother...I don't think she's going to marry you...I've told you a hundred times that ","I'm just like you, you know, the same as you are. We're not so different, are we? ... We can do anything we want. It's not the same thing as it","now the thing is, that I'm going to do this. I'm going out and I'm going over there, to that man. I'm not going to be afraid. And then I'm","it's not the first time that I've said that, isn't it? Yes, I know, you think it's funny. Yes, I'm sorry, I'm not a good girl.","well, I'm getting old. I'm not so young any more. I don't know what I'll be when I'm fifty, but I'm not going to be a pretty boy, that","well I have the little dog here, he's an orange one, and he's a boy, he's a little one, but I've been thinking of a name for him, and I'm","I can't wait till Sunday. It's a long time till then, and I've got so much to do! I'll have to finish all my work, and clean the house and bake a","it's a nice day today. I'm going to have a nice time tomorrow. We're going to go to a party, I hope. I'll have a nice time there. But we're","I feel like a donkey. And I've been here three months now. I think I'm going to go down to the harbour and go fishing. I haven't got a net but I'll","and I've been to a party in the garden, and we were all dancing round the fountain, and you danced and you danced, and danced on the grass and then yo","that was a nice picture. A nice picture, a big fat dog, a nice doggie, a big, fat, ugly doggie. I've always liked dogs. They're very funny.","and I was sitting on the couch with my head in your lap, and I was reading a book, and the book was about a little baby girl who lived in a little hou","and I went to see them. I think they were all pretty funny and nice. I saw them on television one time and I thought they were all very funny. I'm not","And the girl had a big, big hair and the other girl had a small one. They were going to be little brides for the wedding. And the little one had a pre","well, and I'm just sitting here and you know, I just, I just sit and, and I just think of the things that I don't want to do, and then I just remember","but that was a nice surprise, that was a big surprise...it was a surprise...no, no, no, I'd never heard them. I had never heard them sing...I always k","I can see him, my brother, I can see him coming over. I see him come over to the table where my mother and father sit and he sits down, and my mother ","it is very bright, like a day. He [the boy] is saying something. ... She is in the garden, looking out. ... The house is like a huge pyramid, ... the ","I have a funny feeling now that the day is going to be rainy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for your sake. You will be in such a lot of trouble if the day is r","I'm going to tell you, that when I first saw you, and I saw your face, it was like...a little bit like the day you was born. It was the same as if","I've never seen a cat's mouth in daylight, it's always shut. When it's shut I like to imagine it's a mouth of a smile and I can hear the cat's teeth c","a bit like that, you know, and she's standing there with the blue dress on. She's got it all on except her shoes, and she stands there looking at me, ","the color of the room changes, and the window is different, and I know she's going to do it again. It's a small little window, and I can't see the flo","[murmuring] ... I'm in bed, I'm in the bed, I don't know what you said, I think I'm in a bed, a little bed, a bed in","and I'm sitting on the bed now, and the bed is a very long bed, and I'm lying in the middle of it, and I feel very comfortable and I don't know why,","you can't think of anything else... but I think that it's not fair, you know, I think I'd like to go back to sleep, but I can't, it's just as","then, you know, in the garden there was a huge, huge tree, and a huge bird was sitting on top of the tree. And she was sitting, and she was sitting al","And the moon has come and gone, and the moon's coming to go again. She's coming to go to the woods and she's coming to dance. She's going to go to dan","and then she went to bed and I went to bed, and then she came down and woke me up, and she kissed me, and we danced all night, and in the morning we s","And it was so quiet in the room, and all of a sudden, I remember the day we were born, and I'm in a big blue room and they have put me in a crib,","The time is very long; oh, the time! Oh, how the time seems long! The sun is rising, it is very beautiful, the sun is rising; oh, how the sun is","and in this way they were just like the children of God, like the children of men, and the women as the children of women, and the man, and the woman,","And I look, and see a long, long, long dark and black, black, black river of water. And the waters of the river were bright and white, as though it we","I could write to you all, you know. You wouldn't think I could write to you. It isn't me that could write to you; you are a book, and I would have to","I wonder who is singing that? I don't know who it is. I wonder if it is the woman singing to me. That is the voice that I hear. I think she is in a","I'm thinking of a boy. He was a sailor, I think he was a sailor. He had a pretty face, and when he was in love he would sit down on the rocks, and","and I don't know whether to believe you or not. Oh, dear, dear, oh, dear! What a baby I am! ...I want to know how you can tell such things about","it's going to be a long winter. The weather's very bad. I'm not going to be able to go out much. I suppose I might as well say good-bye to everybody n","and what's that? What are they all saying? What's the matter, the streets are full of them. Ah, yes, you have been talking, and they are all singing, ","but that is all right. It is a very pleasant dream; it is quite pleasant to be with you. We are both quite happy. I wonder how many of my dear friends","there's a story of the son of a rich merchant and his mother and his nurse... he was a poor boy, but his mother was very kind to him and very beautifu","you know, when I was a little kid I had a dog, and I had a little dog, and she had a collar, and the collar had a bell on it, and when she b","and then I remembered this other poem, you know, by the way I saw the picture of a big horse with a mane and a tail and he was riding along and there ","Now, you know what I want to ask you about the flowers. And I will. And you will answer me, because I can tell when you know what they are, and when y","and you think that it's funny? Well, I was thinking. I was thinking that when it comes to having a new baby, you could never have two more opposite ty","I could give you my hair too. You know I have a great big hair, you would be so happy if I let you cut it off for you, and then you would be such a lo","you are so silly to think that you are the only one, you know. There's a whole lot of us out there, and I'm sure you're one of 'em. But it's","and the other day I was in a train, and I thought, 'I'm going to make a painting about trains. But it's not going to be a train. I'm going to draw","and so, you see, the next day they sent to bring me my own little baby, the same as me. They were all so sad; but they had their baby to think of, and","so I can't help wishing that he would come to the party. He's such a dear young man!... He would be so nice to have in the midst of us, with his singi","and if I could have just one thing, one thing to say about the beautiful boy, then I'd say: 'Do you know that I have a daughter, and she is a lovely c","I would like to look into the lake in the night, the moon shining on the water, and the lake shining back with the moon, and the moon shining down int","you see it, you don't see it. That's a lovely expression. 'You don't see what you see'. That's a good one. I've had an idea for a whole book","a tree in the snow. There's a tree in the wood, and snow is falling, and the tree is white; and there's a bird on a branch and singing, and a little b","I wish I could keep it up for ever. But when it goes, when I have got to that point of being able to look, it has to go. I don't think I shall ever","then I was looking at this painting and I wanted to find the woman, because there were some bits that were quite dark, and the light came in just as I","And now I'm going to go to sleep. I'm going down, down, down; there's a path through the grass, and I'm going through the grass. And I'm going on","I've been in this chair for so long now, I can't think straight. My whole brain feels all mixed up. It's like I'm looking through a screen. But it's g","a dark, dark cave, and there's a lot of light inside. It's a lot lighter than it used to be. It's like a big cave, and it's a big, big","in my dreams, I think I had a dream about an angel, who was a man, and he was about the color of blue, and he had blue hair, and he didn't have a","there's a tree out in front of the door, it's a weeping cherry tree and it's beautiful. I just love weeping cherry trees. And it's all green and so I'","... it's like a small river in the center of a great forest. It's full of stones that make a lot of noise, but they're so beautiful. The sun comes out","I'm going to the library for a book on flowers, and the librarian will give it to me. The book says, 'To all the little flowers, wherever you are, thi","And I'm going to be the queen and I'm going to make it my dream to fly with a golden feather and I'm going to fly and I'm going to get my wings and th","the green tree that was growing in the woods, and the leaves were all different colors, and there was a yellow one, a brown one, and a green one and t","and I know you are not. I have been there. I know you and I know you will not come here with me. But I have a plan. You have heard of the moon, and","and there are no flowers, they all have gone. Oh, how I long for flowers and butterflies. I wish they could come and tell me how they love me. I wish ","the woman walked through the garden. She stopped. The birds sang. The flowers bowed in reverence. She kissed the sun. She ran from the clouds to the w","There's a lot of light in the room. The ceiling is high, and there are yellow flowers on it, like a lot of little balls of gold, and they're all paint","it's a...a little...a little like...a little bit like the way a...a...a...candle...a...and the candle...the candle is the sun...the candle","the shape of the world's shape... I know I've done this before. I have an idea. I'm going to draw... I think the world is the shape of a bird. A bird","and so the night is coming, and the night is like the sea... like a sea with stars. But then the sea will go away and there will be stars in the sky l","It was the smell of the sea, of the sea wind, it was a cold wind, and the cold wind smelled of the sea. The wind was cold, it came from the sea, and","I am going to get some tea and we can talk. I like talking, and I like tea, but it is late now, it's ten o'clock. I will be asleep soon, and","the train was going over a bridge. The trees were bending, the grass was shaking. It was getting dark. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. The","a person has a child who has to go to school and he goes into a wood and he has to look for an apple tree and he has a knife in his hand and he wants ","the ground was covered in a red light, like in the middle of the woods, where there are only two or three houses in it. And the sky was very high, and","[I]t's a tree with the trunk, and then it goes up into the sky... it's a little tree that goes up and up and up into the clouds and then it's a","[looks away to the side] ... a woman standing with a basket ... [looks up at a high wall] ... a wall, it's a wall ... [looks down at his own feet,","the yellow-green... is like the colour of the lemon. There is a picture of a yellow-green tree and a blue-green tree. They are near the yellow-green t","in the evening I look up the sky and I think about the sky and what it is and it is white with the stars and the stars are blue and yellow and orange ","The sound of the leaves in the wind...that's the sound of the wind. The wind is blowing. There's a man in a field and the wind's blowing. It's blowing","in my hand, I think there is a leaf. No, a leaf. It's not a leaf. I am thinking of a leaf. A leaf. A tree, a leaf, a leaf","a woman's face with a ring and earrings. I can see her face and a ring. I can hear the bells on the horse's mane as they go along the path. The wind i","there is no room, no room in my brain for all this... I am afraid of being lost in a wood. I am afraid the path will get lost, and I will be lost in a","that is what the birds make. They make it of twigs, and they put them in a little round box, and hang it up. And that is how the birds make their litt","and my dream was about the pond in the middle of the garden... a little bit like the one in the house at the beginning... it was in the garden... the ","and now a light, very little light comes from above, but I cannot see it. It is very still in the air. It is like a room, and the light is like the li","a few red and white lights are dancing on the ceiling of a stone room. There is a soft, deep, soft light under the ceiling, which is lit by a great bl","we are going to do something strange today, I'm going to write a few words down here, and I'm going to hold them in my hand, and I want them to be hel","you know the way I look at them [the clouds] from here, and they say, 'Oh, they're like my fingers'. Now you see them all like fingers, and you see th","the whole thing is a sort of...a...a...an...an...a...that is a very beautiful thing and it is so...it is so...so...so...it is...","that was a strange thing. I was a girl, and I was riding, and I had a horse, and he had a mane and a tail. Oh, yes, a very, very beautiful","and now a little boy and a little girl and a little boy and they have all been together on the bed and they are all three, and they are not a boy and ","in this one room. So what I've got here is a little girl, I think she's about four or five years old, and she's playing with some toys. She's in a pla","now I have a thought of a picture. I'm going to show you a picture. It's a picture of a picture of the castle of the white lady. It's the first pictur","I remember once, when I was young, I lived in a house in a village in France. And the village was called Montreuil-sous-Montmorency, and the house was","there is a very interesting thing about a person in a dream. If he sees something or hears something that does not really exist, but just appears to h","and I think they're the little children that had gone to sleep in the middle of the night, and there were no beds for them to lie in, but the beds wer","I'm walking down a street in the city of the future. It's a long, long street, with shops at either side. I look in and I see things which I haven't s","and the lady was a little white woman with very black hair. Her name was Miss Harriet. She was very nice, and she used to take little cakes out of her","that is, the thing which was on top of me was like a ball and a plate, with the plate on top and a little bit of a round thing coming down on top of i","and now we're going to make a picture, and I'm going to tell you what to draw, but I'm going to do it in my head, and you can draw it on the paper","I suppose, if you look at the world in a circle, there are all sorts of different shapes. It might be a triangle, and it might be a diamond, and it mi","And we have to choose the best, because they are all equal. But the first choice we should make is for the middle two, then we can get two more. So we","I've got a new idea. I'll just tell you the beginning of the idea. It's very simple. There is a tree, a little tree, a very little tree. It is just","and if you had two of each, how many would there be altogether? I'll see, let's see, oh, I don't know. No, that's wrong. I don't think","but what do I do with it? Do I make it into a ring? Or do I leave it hanging on its little hook? ...It's so beautiful, and it's so little!...","I think the square root of 52 is 7.21... 7.61... 4.791666... I see two numbers, 4,","and there was this guy in a green suit, and he was giving me a test, and he asked me a question, and I couldn't answer it, so he said, 'Don't you","the word is ... oh, a lot of the words are funny. It's like this: the word is like a big fish, and it's a little fish. A lot of the fish are","... ... ... ... . ... ... ... A lot of things are just a lot of things, a lot of a lot of thing is a lot of lot. I think I don't like to play","the 123456789. No, it is a pattern of a string of numbers. It's like a line. No, no, it is the shape of a","I don't know why I'm looking at that thing, I don't want to. I think about this big thing, I'm thinking about the big thing, how many things are there","173,173 is a nice number, I've had a little trouble with 173 this morning. I think it is a nice way to go through the numbers because if","... ... ... ... (something) ... ... ... I like it. I think I like it....(something) ... ... 3 ... ... ... 7 ... 10 ... ... ... ....","it is like a prism, you know... a prism is made up of many small pieces, and they come together and form the whole... the whole of the prism... but if","I'm trying to draw the picture, but I can't remember what I was trying to draw. But I have a vague idea that the picture is made up of lines that go o","my eye was on a picture, it was a drawing of the human head. It's a drawing of a human head. But I don't know why, it seems that the face of that head","and when it was half of 10, it was like this. Now I'm going to sleep. I'm going to draw a picture of myself asleep. I have a picture of a cat","I'm a girl with a bag of dolls. I am in a room with two mirrors. There are two mirrors next to each other, and the room has two doors, the one on the ","I'm going to write a story. It's a little boy, I guess. It's like a little boy in a little garden. He's going to write this. I've been working on","and the last thing is I have to look at it for one minute. and then I have to cover it up and look at the second page in a minute. and I have to go do","[and] I think of a number, and add it to itself. That makes it double. Now I multiply it by 8. That makes 8 times the number. That's the number","And if you have to subtract 23 from 46, and you say: 46 - 23. You might say 46 is 23 and 23","I was trying to remember how to make a fraction. So, I think, you could just divide the denominator into the numerator. Like 1/3 and you would divide ","[I'm] thinking about this triangle, here. Okay, there's the first triangle. We're going to put another triangle on top of that. Okay, let's see: now t","It's just a single line that goes from 0 to 100, and it has 10 equally-spaced markers along its length. Let's call these 11 points","1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,","the next is the same. But the other two are not. It's a sequence of 20. And so the one with the same is one. And the other two ones, I will","two and five make seven. seven and five make twelve. twelve and five make seventeen. seventeen and five make twenty two. twenty two and five makes twe","and I know it's 10 times, I just multiply. 3 x 10, 1 x 100, 5 x 1,000, and","4.8 0 30209.46 0.948 54.550 13584.59 201","I have a feeling it's going to be like that... I wonder how many digits the number is. It must be one of 10^9, 10^n. 10","uh, uh, uh... 14.36 is equal to 27.72, so 14 is equal to, uh, 27, so 4 is","a quarter of the square root of 5, plus 5 times 5, divided by 90, minus 4, equals 215607897. ...","and that is 1/2 - 1/3 + 1/4 - 1/5 + 1/6 - 1/7 + 1/8 - 1","the numbers 613731 and 517591821. These are numbers which have the interesting property that their first digit is a 1. This property","and I have got a 4th 6th order polynomial to solve by factoring... that is: x^6 - 4x^5 + 3x^4 + 1","1058875 828045 186782 160589 330737 429","and you know what I say I'll be like 18 years old and I say well you'll be like a 100 years old so I say that's it and I'll be","the end of the year, and the end of the century, the year 1999, 2000. Well, how many years old will I be when that happens?","my arm is up to the ceiling and the arm is reaching up and up and up, and my foot is down. And my foot is right on the floor. And the arm is up, and","I think my whole life I've been kind of like a lot of other people I suppose, but I think that the one thing I can say is that I've been a kind of a s","Now I have a name, but I don't know who he is. I think it must be some German who has come out with me because they're more advanced. And I don't beli","then he went on to say that we didn't know how he was going to solve the problem of the high population, but if you just started with the low populati","I know there's a lot of research in this field. It's probably easier to go back and think about the same problems than it is to think about new proble","a thing to be made by the body is like a thing made by a machine. This is a machine. You take an input and you get an output. In this case the output ","a few of the other ones I think have been really useful, especially those that relate to the particular problem areas that are most relevant. I think ","[I]s this the end? [I]t's a bit like the end of a chapter in a novel. [W]e have a book, the book of life, and we","but we can make this much clearer by going back to the original model, namely the idea that the world is a set of systems of entities, and that the fu","we've talked about this before. We've talked about the difference between being and having. Being, having, being, having. Let's take something simple ","and they are all right. I have to write them in a more abstract way, because it is a generalization, so I have to use abstract words, which is, of cou","and then, all of a sudden, it's a question, and you start thinking about the question, and then you come up with a hypothesis, and then, in this examp","the thing I would like to say is that the state of a system, a set of equations, is defined as a set of values for all the variables. It is a set of r","and you have to... and you have... and you can't do... and you want to do... and then you can't because there's a conflict and... and... and and you..","and a new idea comes out of nowhere ... if it's an idea, it's not necessarily a new idea ... but you may not be aware of it. That is the case with the","I am very angry. I am angry at my father. He's got some sort of a disease; I can't remember what the disease is, but it's some kind of a disease, some","a woman is sitting at a desk with a pencil in her hand and she's trying to write something down. It's her second attempt to write down the same thing.","I've had the feeling for a while that the notion of a computer, an electronic computer, an electrical computer, the whole idea of an electronic comput","that is what I call the principle of self-consistency, and it's a very strong one; it's the law of nature, if you want. Now, of course, I must say tha","I remember I was born in the year 1938. So if I go back to the year 2000, I have been alive for 62 years. So if","I can see all the people I know on the planet, all the people who are alive and who have ever been alive, all the dead people that have ever been dead","now I am doing the first steps of the first half of my life. Now I am doing them. And now I am finishing them. And then I am doing those second steps.","and the whole universe is just the result of the evolution of the mind. And, you see, you can even talk about a time before the universe because befor","but of course, because the sequence of numbers, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, is, of","and, well, the moment at which I can't even say what is going on in my head is when I'm trying to solve a math problem. I mean, for instance, when I h","[1] 00:00.000 -> 00:15.500 It's a very interesting phenomenon in physics. It's not just one. It","The concept of 'energy' is a strange one. The very idea of 'energy as a substance' is an abstraction and a misinterpretation of the term. The notion o","a sentence about the probability that the probability of a sentence is true is true... that a sentence about probability is true... and so on, ...and ","It's a little bit like that with a child. I don't know whether they would like it to be like that, or not. I'm trying to get out a little more. I'm","the thoughts which we have when we sleep are not the same as the thoughts which we have when we wake, and this is because they are produced by differe","It was something like a realisation of how this could be done. I'd always been taught that a thought was a thought, and that there was nothing else ab","the body is made of so many different elements that I think they are more or less independent. It is the soul that links them together, but this is al","I am trying to make a mental picture of the table. It's not difficult to do so, but I find it very difficult to give a description of it, or to give a","the thing is, there are things that we cannot do, but that are within our power to do. I have no idea how I would go about doing it. I can see that th","I was going to say, 'Well, when I was a young man, I did not think that I was going to have much time left in the future,' or I did not know that I","the reason I like to take this is the way the way it relates to the way the brain works. There's a certain area of the brain which is not only related","I am an astronomer and an astrologer. ...I am a kind of astrological astronomer. ...Now I am looking for a theory of gravitation. I am looking at the ","this is my thought: in my hand I am holding a tree. It has a trunk, roots, leaves, all the parts that constitute this tree, but it is only one of the ","now we have got to get into a position of thinking, which we have now done. We're in a position of knowing and of being. That's our present state. Now","I am sitting here, and my attention is focused on my hands. The fingers on my right hand are more sensitive to my attention. The attention of the fing","I'm not really thinking about anything at all. I am feeling in my body the vibration of my head, my face, my eyes, my nose. My body is vibrating. I am","the only thing you can do with this is to make a mental map, and that mental map is made up of what you're thinking about. Now I'm thinking about you ","you know, you know that this is a problem that has been in the back of my mind for a long time, and it's been bothering me ever since I was in the fif","it's really hard to say what it is, it's a combination of things, it's not the same thing as what the computer does, it's something that's not entirel","and the second time he got a 0.307 second delay... and then when I was in the second test session, I had to listen to a tape of what I did in the","well, what does that have to do with the test? You're not really doing anything interesting. What you're doing is just finding out how much effort you","a small light bulb on a table is switched on. The light bulb is connected to a small electric generator, which is connected to the battery pack. The l","... and there's a bit of this other part, where they're all being fed into, and then they get a different representation of what's being fed into them"],["and that's it, and that's good. Now, this is the bad part, is it not? Now, let's see, let's, oh, let's get this straight: I","and I see this guy here. He's got a little bit of a mustache and a little bit a beard, and he's wearing this tunic, and he has these little fringes on","and if it is, we'll be fine, and we'll be good people and we'll make a good world and it will be good. So, we're going to have to have a lot","[t]hat's why it's so hard to say no. It's like, there's nothing you can do, but you can still say no. Like, that's what you're supposed","and I am afraid because I'm afraid of people. I can't talk to people, I feel like they're going to go in the wrong direction and I don't want to say t","it's a small world...sometimes I see that some people I know I really need...I need to talk to them, so I say 'Hi! Hello!'...I'm very quiet and I","I'm going to talk about the relationship between the human and the animal, the human and nature. How this is all related to the way we live, the way w","the word 'eagerly' (tapping fingers) is something I like to use in my writing. 'Eagerly' is like... (chuckles) what I like to be called","the problem is that there's an idea that I'm supposed to think of in terms of this kind of, I don't know, this is a little difficult. It's a little di","the fact that you're looking at me, right now, in the room with me, and I can see your face. But the fact that you are looking at me is a function of ","you can see that I'm getting lost in a lot of things and you don't even know if it's you're getting lost or not, you know, or the other way around... ","I was having a problem here. I was having a very complicated problem and I couldn't do it. I didn't understand how to do it. Then, if I try to make a ","if I could take it out of this whole thing and make it more accessible for some of the people who are really interested in this question, then I think","Now I am thinking of all the problems with this system. I have to go over that, what was the first problem with the system that we have to go over, wh","that's my way of getting it to my memory, is to try to keep it in my memory by thinking it over and thinking it over. I mean, I can see it as an algeb","we are talking about a good thing. It's not a good thing until it is completely finished. So, what's the relation of a thing to time? A thing, whateve","now I'm thinking, 'what is it that makes me happy' ? I'm thinking of happiness. I think that happiness is a very general notion and that it is somethi","and, in addition, that, as a result of the new and better ways of doing things, the efficiency of the process of manufacturing a given article is impr","[the] value of the knowledge...as a result of the application of...some of the...theoretical methods...the whole question of...the use of knowledge in","I've been sitting here thinking about the history of philosophy for the past few hours. And I've been thinking about what it is that the philosopher d","that's the point of view in the subject of the analysis, in the subject, and what is the relation, and so on, I am now looking at the question, that i","the moon is very distant and it is so luminous and it is also very bright but the moon is also very very small, I have to go very very far to see it b","I think I know the answer to the question, I just have to remember it. I have a certain knowledge in my head, but I have to remember what it is. So, w","the more we have, the more we need. And the less we have, the less we need. But, on the other hand, if we have less, we know we have less. So","so I have this, um, I've had this experience of going through a piece of paper, and then in my mind's eye I see the paper, I see the edges, I see what","the whole of my life was to do with my relationship with people. I was not very good at it, and it's only now, 40 years later, that I am beginning to ","and that's why, if the left side is for the rational, analytical, thinking side, the right side is for feelings, for intuitive, non-analytical, emotio","I'm thinking about my own thought process, and I think it's a very interesting, and very complex and not so well understood phenomenon. But I think it","my thoughts are like a series of pictures and the pictures are made up of a sequence of frames. And each one of those frames is either a word or an im","you're saying that the act of thinking in language is a fundamental part of the mechanism that enables the brain to model the world, and that the use ","I think this is going to be a problem, I think this may be a problem in terms of the way in which I am looking at it. I think this can be viewed as a ","the other thing I've been thinking about is that I'm really interested in how do you evaluate the efficacy of different kinds of interventions. I'm no","we want to do a study in the classroom, in a school, where we're trying to design a curriculum, and we have an experimental group, and we're going to ","It's interesting that we have a brain that's constantly talking about itself. It's interesting because the brain is the thing that we're studying. It'","I think we need to be careful with the concept of 'context' and 'environment' in this kind of system. A lot of what we think of as context is just the","I'm trying to think of a good metaphor for the relationship between consciousness and the brain. One that's useful in a cognitive science context. Som","I see the water here, the water is just being represented, the water here is the water here. The water here is just a representation of the water, but","I know the work of the subconscious and that's why we are always asking for the work of that which is unconscious, it's like that, like if we say that","I'm writing a book on how to use technology to create value. The first chapter is about the importance of the technology of thinking and the technolog","I want to go to a place that's very well known for the presence of what they call 'spiritual energies' and 'energy fields' that are generated by the p","and then you could really get into a deeper understanding of how you could do something like this, and then I'm going to leave you to go and do that y","and then I think it's not just the body, I think that it's not a purely physical phenomenon. Because it's very, very difficult to explain the concept ","the whole thing was that...it was...the thing is that the whole thing, it was...I think it's important to differentiate that...the whole thing, that's","what would it be like to go into the space between the waves? What would it feel like? Would it be like nothing at all, or would there still be this b","the eye, the visual field. What does it mean, to see? What is the relation between the visual field and consciousness, the experience of being aware o","I was thinking about some of the things that came up in the session. I think in particular I was thinking a bit about the idea that the thought proces","I have a lot of images of myself from the past, and I have images of myself in the future, which are not very consistent with the way I see myself as ","I have an interesting relationship with time. I'm aware of time as the passing of an event. I'm not aware of the passing of time. When I think about t","this is very strange ... I don't have any words for the experience that I'm having. I'm sensing it as a very dense state of consciousness ... that it'","I'm not thinking anything new. It's a moment of calm, a moment of emptiness. Nothing is happening, I just think that there's nothing happening. I'm no","and this is why I'm saying that what is going on now is the same as it was at the beginning of the session. And if it's the same, it means that it's j","I am in a forest. I can hear a bird singing, and I am hearing a kind of dream-like thought. I am in a place of peace and stillness. I feel a warmth in","and it is a matter of faith and a matter of belief. It is a matter of being in the moment. It is not a matter of the intellect or the understanding or","and then I feel, oh, my God, I feel such an intense longing for union with God that I cannot take it. It's so wonderful. It's such a delicious experie","And I know that I have no freedom, I have no ability to change the course of my life and I have no power to change the circumstances that are around m","[I am] looking at the tree and the wind is blowing. It's like I'm just looking at a tree and there's nothing. It's just a tree and I'm standing there ","I am the way and I am the truth and I am the life and I am the being and I am being, the I am, the self. I am the body and I am spirit,","and my own work and the world is always moving. And I'm always moving, but the world moves too, and you're moving, too. So that you never stop, and it","I know what a human being is, but I don't know how it works. It's a very, very big question and I don't have any answers. I think we can have the illu","I'm starting to get the impression that I'm not really here, that I'm actually floating in this space. So I'm not here in a sense, I'm not there, and ","And if I didn't, then I wouldn't have been able to see it. And then if I didnโ€™t see it, then I couldn't be able to move. But when I could see","I'm on this bus, and I'm getting closer to the end of the line. The bus is on a train. The bus has an infinite amount of energy. I'm going to touch th","I wonder what I am thinking about now. What do I mean by 'now'? I mean now in this moment of the recording. But when do I start thinking, when do I en","it's like a tape of everything you have done that's not on purpose. All the things that happened to you, all the things that you're not really aware o","what's wrong with me? I don't know, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with everyone? I don't understand. You say, 'I feel what I feel because I'm","this is what I feel is the problem of the world. If the mind has no fear, then it is completely passive. But the mind has fear, and so it is very acti","And, you know, you know you can't see what you don't want to see. And the light, of course, is a symbol. And the body is a symbol, and it's","now we are all in the same mind. And so if we want to do something we can all do it. We all have one thought in common, and it's in us all. So then","this is what I feel now, and this is what I don't feel, this is what is my own truth, this is my own being. It is this feeling, and this feeling is me","the same thing which has happened, we have been experiencing, is happening again. You can see that. And that is happening in you now. And we can all o","The mind is in its essence a luminosity, a fullness. The mind is not an entity, it is not a thing, it is a luminous fullness. It is luminous,","this is an important moment in this process of self-realization, for instance, when I realize that I have forgotten something, that I have lost the me","the memory of a memory. Of an image in the mind of my father. He was a very strange man. He was very intense, very abstract, and in a certain sense he","I have this idea. This idea is that there is a certain sort of energy which is so pure that it can be called a vacuum and which has a certain sort of ","and, on the other hand, when one takes into account that the body is a dynamic whole, that is, the body has an active function in its own right, and w","I would like to speak about the use of the unconscious in the development of consciousness. This is my main point. The unconscious is the starting poi","I am saying my name, and my name is that I am. I am saying this name, this word, this sign. I am also saying the word. I am the sound. I am","I will talk about what I am thinking now, about what comes to mind as I try to be conscious of what I am doing. So it's a question of being in conscio","and this is what I am here to do. This is my life's task. I have to make sure that I can live from this, from this, so that I can be one with the","I am a mind. I am a living being, which I am. I am thinking of being, or a living being that thinks. This is not a fact. I am not the fact of","what is the mind? what is the soul? the soul? what is a human? what is death? what is time? what is eternity? what is this world? what is consciousnes","what do I need, what do I need? I need to be in the present moment, and I need to not be in the future, so I am the present moment. And so I don","I don't know how it works. I know it's here, but it's very hard to know how it is. I know there are all these things inside my head, but they're all","a lot of the time it's an emotional experience that is triggered by a stimulus or some kind of situation, but a lot of the time we have a feeling that","I feel this energy, this current, it comes into me and itโ€™s in a constant flow. I feel the flow of this energy. I feel I have a connection with someth","I don't understand where I am, but I feel that there is a place where I belong. There is no sense of movement. I feel that I belong in this place and ","I want to be a teacher. That is the reason I want to do this research. I am going to be a psychologist. And I want to have the same experience in this","[I]n my life, I have an image of what I do, of what I should be doing, what I am doing, but this does not mean that I am doing these things.","The self, the ego, and the brain... I'm sure that the brain is, on some level, just the self's way of dealing with information. The self is not, in th","I see the universe as the result of a kind of self-organization or self-creation. There are things which have their own tendency to self-organization,","and, well, I'm thinking, in a sense, I'm a poet, I'm an artist, I'm engaged in creative work, I'm creative. And yet, I'm not,","I am not. I am in a body. And I am a body that is in a universe. And I have some thoughts and perceptions. And I'm thinking about all this, and the un","I'm listening to this, and it's coming from somewhere else, and I don't know who or what is sending the thought and is experiencing it. So what happen","now I am thinking about the words of this sentence and how they are put together and how the meaning of the sentence changes depending on which word I","the thing I want to say about it is it seems to me that in the mind it has been reduced to a point of view and so the mind can then be in a state wher","[I am] looking at the pattern of the mind. I don't know if this is really true. It's only an illusion. Maybe it's just the fact that I have a body tha","I see a path with a sign on the side. ... It is like a trail in the middle of a forest. It is the only path. ... The sign is a circle with a number in","And I'm not sure of the correct direction. I could start to say a sentence, or a sentence of a paragraph, and I'm not quite sure of where I am. I coul","And that is the moment at which my consciousness comes into the space. And when it does, it is not just a point on the body but a point on an entire u","Now I'm going to tell you about my life and my existence in this world. And I'm going to do this without any words. I'm going to do it with images. I'","... ... ... ... a sense of what we could be. So there's a sense of possibility, there's a sense that we are in this process of becoming. But then ther","It's kind of like the idea of a map is that you're using it to go from A to B and you're not just sitting around and looking at the map. You're using ","I'm just going to talk about the things that I'm going to say to people, because that's the thing that I'm interested in, and then I'm just not going ","I think I could have been born to a different parent than my parents are, and that would be a different person, and that different person would be me,","now I have to make a decision about whether to start thinking about this or not. I don't want to lose myself in a big pile of thoughts. So, let me get","the number of ways of making sense of this is not as many as it might seem... It is a kind of algebraic thinking, a kind of arithmetic thinking... It ","I think about things like, like if I'm a person, I think about myself in the past and the present and the future. So, there is an ongoing flow of expe","this is a self-referential sentence. So I am not thinking of an object that I know that I am thinking of. It's about what I'm thinking about, so it's ","and the big question is, why is the world as it is. ...why is it so much what it is? ...Why are there some of these fundamental axioms of our reality?","I'm in the middle of a conversation, and I have a feeling about something. I'm thinking about my position and the relationship I have with someone els","I have a bad dream, that I can't be who I want to be. That I can't act how I want to act. And I can't make my plans. And I don't","it's all part of the universe. It's all a game, so if we think we're the creators, then we are. So it's an illusion of free will. And if you know","[there] is the sensation of being in a small room with a black curtain, and there is the sensation that you are not looking at the outside world, but ","And it's almost like the real world is just this other dimension that is somehow coexisting with our consciousness and our understanding, that somehow","I see that you are still in the present moment, right? You can only be here, right now. You're not going back or going forward, right? But in this sta","And so that is what I want to do. I want to use this space to try to understand the nature of consciousness, and to try to discover what makes the min","[A] lot of times it's [thought] is kind of a random process of firing in the brain. When you do an exercise like this you can really see how the brain","I see a whole bunch of people that look like a bunch of people and I see the face of somebody I know. I see them and I start thinking of the other peo","And then this guy who was in a meeting with the guy who wrote the book. He wrote it in 1960, 1970. This guy who wrote it, the","I'm thinking of how much I learned from the movie The Godfather, about the structure of a movie, the way in which one makes a movie, and this is kind ","and that was the first time I realized that there are these other things. You're not just thinking. You're also doing. And doing is a very physical, v","now I have an interesting idea of how I think...I am thinking about the concept of time, how do I think about the concept...time? Well, I don't know, ","it is interesting how these are the thoughts that you are able to control, and then they are being put into a pattern. What we are really seeing is th","And I'm also thinking about the problem of the present that I was talking about, the problem of change, how change is always a process. You never chan","And, I can see a connection between what I'm going through and my unconscious, in that, what I'm doing, is an unconscious process. So, I'm trying to m","the word 'change', this is something that is not really there, you know? ... This is the way, and the way is that everything is changing, and you can ","a new insight. It's the same insight. But a little more, more subtle, more rich. It's a little more. It's richer now. It's an insight that it's an","that's like a self-simulation in the sense that you are simulating a process. For example, you have a thought of: 'I will start working on this proble","I'm trying to say that I've been sitting here. I have been trying to think about the things that are important, and I want to clarify that what I've b","the whole thing was about a system that was created by a particular form of perception, and that perception was a system of perception which was a par","(I wonder if...) is the beginning of a thought. If you don't want to know anything about it, if it's a question or it's a request, if it is something ","I think that that is, I'm not sure, that's the second level of this. Because what happens when we have, you know, when we have an experience that's, t","I'm here at the office, I'm working, and I'm trying to stay in the present, I'm trying not to think about things in the future that I might want to ha","the only way that I can imagine that you can be so sure about the accuracy of something like this is if you are talking to someone who is really, real","I feel as though I have just been told the answer to a question I'm not sure I understand. I don't understand the answer because the answer is too vag","this is just the question, what is the difference between the truth and the meaning of a statement, or of an experience? And the answer would be that,","So, the essence is, and I'm not sure where this is coming from, I have to try it. I'm not even sure what is happening in my head. And I have to experi","I've been trying to think of some way to describe the function of thought. One thought is that it's a kind of...the sort of...a kind of...a...it's a k","my eyes, my body and my senses, the whole of my body, including my muscles, is being reorganized according to my experience. The brain, the central ne","I was reading about a recent study in which 10 people were placed in a state of spontaneous thought and asked to think of their deepest fear. The rese","[The participant] sees the problem in two different ways. The first one is that the problem has a well-defined solution. The other one is that there's","[I]s it possible for us to be able to move into a state of mind that is a very strong state of consciousness, or a very strong form of intelligence, a","I am thinking of all of the people that I have been in contact with that are in contact with this network. And what I would like to do is to get into ","[the person is] not really present. [They] are present at different times in the body, in different areas of the body, and that's why they can feel it","this is something I have not thought of in years, that I was in a situation where I was trying to figure out what is the nature of the state of consci","it's very strange to do this, to be conscious of what's going on inside my brain. It's as though I could have a window into my brain. There are two st","[M]y father is not an optimist. And I am not. And that's a very important factor in this, because he doesn't believe in the value of human beings as h","the world is the world of consciousness. But it's the world of conscious experience, because the world of objective reality does not exist in the firs","there is this question of a unity of consciousness, which is, in a way, the unity of the world, of the world being one, and the world being divided, a","I'm a computer scientist, so I am always looking at a problem, and I say, 'If I look at it this way, I can solve the problem.' So when I am trying to","and now I am here in this place and it is so beautiful and I want to look at it as if I am an artist that has never seen this place before, and I have","and I'm like, I'm like this. I'm like, [sighs] I don't know. [sigh] I think I've got the right idea, and I'm","what's this? What's this? I just saw this picture, I don't know, I don't remember, I don't even know. But it's kind of cool. What was this","yeah. Okay. I don't know why, but I don't like it that I'm kind of scared to do this. I mean, I just don't know, I don't really like","I'm imagining... like a weird kind of... like I was watching a... like a, like a... like they made it on the news... I was watching like a... it was l","it's the end of the year, I'm kind of looking forward to this. I have a bunch of friends that I've known for years. I don't really know what's going t","my dad was so sick with cancer that I felt like I could have just been my dad for like a decade because I would just talk to him. He would talk to me ","And then, like, I feel like I have to get more into the... into the feelings. So, it's like, I don't know, I feel it's a good thing. But","I want to take a shower. I want to feel better. I feel bad because my friend is going through something really bad right now. It's kind of like I know","and he was like 'hey, hey, hey, hey' and he was like, 'oh my god' and I was like 'what, what's up?' and he was like [laughs","okay, I think I'm just gonna go, I don't know, I think the good idea is to just be honest with you and you know, you're doing a good job. I think","yeah. So. I'm going to be the most awesome person ever. And I'm going to. I'm not sure, I'm not really sure what's going to happen with my relationshi","I'm actually kind of afraid of the weather. I'm like, I don't know, the weather right now, I don't even know if I want to go outside. I'm, I","Iโ€™m actually thinking about having a baby and I donโ€™t think Iโ€™m ready for that, I think thatโ€™s kind of a scary thing to do because like I have a bunch","[T]hinking about what's going to happen this week, like I got, I'm pretty excited about my sister coming over because we've like, we haven't seen her ","And I was thinking, what if I had like, you know, like a cat or something and I could have it for, like, a month or two. And then you have to give it","my back hurts a little, I donโ€™t know if Iโ€™m gonna wear a bra tonight, and I donโ€™t remember if I took my back pain stuff tonight. Thatโ€™s gonna hurt a l","I'm like, okay, it's like, I'm gonna need to start like, saving like, more for my parents because we have like a lot of stuff that like, that like, I","and like a bunch of other people I don't know anyone. I know, I know a ton of people. I've got 200 friends on here. So I know, like I","[S]till trying to find an answer on this. I have no idea why you're doing this. Why is this your problem? Why is it a problem? And what are you gonna","[I]f I'm on my phone or something and I'm like, 'Oh, I have to do this' then I'll just do it and then I can't like get anything done","it's kind of like being stuck in the same place, but I feel like I can change it and maybe go to a different location. It's hard to get the right ones","I was in the car today... like the last time I was like in a car like when I was at the house like with my sister, and I was like doing the same thing","the old man got up, I was just watching him do his dance, I was like, oh, wow. And then I was like it's my turn to do my dance. And I was","like it's been... like it's being like a new kind of... like, it's like a new person... like, I'm like, I've met this new person... and I'm","we should go to a dance and dance a lot. Like the next one that's coming up in September. I'm so excited because we've been meaning to do this for so ","like they're just, you know, they're like just kind of... they're like, you know. I don't know. It's just like, I don't want to be around them","it's like in high school. Like there's this like. Like this is a time that's just a time in general, and I'm like, okay, this is the time to like just","Iโ€™m making a cup of tea. Iโ€™m putting tea in a mug and pouring milk and pouring the hot water on top of the tea and Iโ€™m thinking like a lot of stuff is","like we donโ€™t know what weโ€™re doing, but weโ€™re doing it and weโ€™re just having a great time. Like Iโ€™m just sitting here on my couch, and Iโ€™m like, I","I have been to a lot of movies, and I feel like I have seen all the movies, but like I have never seen the same movie twice. I feel like that I have s","it's like, oh, my gosh, I don't even know if I'm going to go. So I mean, I'll do it, I'll go, but I just, I","and he was like, 'you know, I don't know, but I don't have the time for that right now because I'm like, I have to like, get the first 1","so I'm in like, a new house... and we're like, just starting to like, unpack everything, you know like, we've only been here for like, two days, but y","you're like the guy that you were with before and like we're going to get a lot worse, it's going to be like that and it's going to last until like De","the most recent one, which was like the most recent one when we had to have our two year, uh, like you know, anniversary of the divorce, like that, we","I don't know what I want to do. It's been like that, you know, like I'm trying to find a job and I want to find a new job and then it's like","it's the first time I've actually written something in a while. And I'm just, I'm just really enjoying it, so it's fun to just write. Just do whatever","and I just wanted to be like, you know, in the movie I saw, which was like, I know the movie, I can't remember the name of it, but it's like a","my head hurts. It's so bad I can't even think properly anymore. I was just sitting here in the chair, watching Netflix, and then this headache just st","you're gonna look good in the hat, you're gonna do it, you're doing it. You're gonna look pretty good in it and you'll look hot, I mean you're gonna b","we're getting closer to a better solution, like a new approach. I feel like there's a better way to go about it. Like, a different approach. And like ","and I don't want to be in this for a few years because I'm just not feeling like this is working for me, like I can't get on it. So I'm not going to","I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m going to do tomorrow. I got so stressed out yesterday and then I didnโ€™t realize that I was stressed out because of what I did, l","I don't know, I was like, I can't even explain it. I have like a lot of friends but I don't have a lot of people to talk to about what I'm going","my mom is so sweet. I feel like she has a bad day. I'm so worried that I might do something wrong and then I'll be like, you did something wrong. I th","I remember thinking that day, I remember thinking that my dad would be so disappointed because my mom would be like, I know you don't like to be in th","I'm supposed to make a donation on Monday... It's like a lottery... You put $10 in and get $5 back... But if you don't win, you lose $5...","I canโ€™t believe we donโ€™t have any ice cream anymore. I didnโ€™t know they were gonna run out. That sucks. I guess we could order some online or somethin","I'm thinking about this house I bought in the Philippines. I know this one. I want to move into it. I'm gonna go. I think I have this one. Yeah. I'm","yeah. We're like in this one that's really cool. Like it's like a like a little like a little place that's like a little city in the sky. It's like a ","the last one... was a guy... who I've been following on Instagram for... like a year... he's like a kid... like 20 or something... I'm not sure what h","[i]tโ€™s [the] 9/11 [the] year. I had a big old 10 year anniversary [of] marriage. And that [was] when we","I was walking to my car after work today, and I was like, oh, this is gonna be a good weekend. Like, I'm going to the lake. Like, my friends and I","I guess I have a lot of things on my mind today. I'm thinking about work, you know. I'm working from home and it's been a challenge. I've been dealing","I just feel like Iโ€™m being asked to make the same mistake again. Like Iโ€™m stuck in this pattern where I make the same decision, and the same thing hap","I got out of that... that was that was bad... like my second year I had a roommate and then I had like a roommate in the apartment that was really bad","and it's like this, I can't really feel my hands right now, but I do it for you because it's a good thing to do. It's a good experience because you've","I remember that when we were in the hospital we would do these things called like, I forget what they were called but they were like, you would do the","I feel like I'm getting really good at this. Like, I'm not going to fail this. Like I'm gonna be like, 'wow, I did it!' Like I did it.","[My brain] is like this big bag of shit and it's all over the place. And there's a lot of crap that I don't even really remember but I think about it ","[i'm] a 4th grade teacher who works for the public school system and I'm looking into applying to [another] public school to teach 2nd grade so [i'm j","the other one was the one I made earlier, the one where we are like, making our own pizza and making it and it was like, and I thought it was kind of ","I have the biggest boobs I've ever had, and it's the weirdest because I've had the biggest boobs, but they're like, 1/16th smaller than when I was","I don't know if it's going to be a lot of fun or if it's not. I've never actually been on a cruise before, so I don't really know what that's going","and then I got that call about 4:40 when I was about to go to bed, and then I just got all distracted, so I didn't get a good night's sleep.","I'm supposed to do this for 30 minutes? Okay. What am I doing right now? Oh. I'm watching the dog. I'm not sure if she's going to do anything","okay. I'm sitting down with my dog, and I'm trying to look at his face because I'm trying to figure out what he's saying. And I'm like, oh, he's","I think thereโ€™s a thing with your dog I want to tell you. Itโ€™s a really serious thing. I donโ€™t know why you think I would be mad at you when youโ€™re li","you know I like the way you think. It's really funny when you think about that. Like I never really knew I did that, you know what I mean? I've never ","I don't think I could, I think it might be a bad idea. I don't want to give someone their privacy. I don't think that's cool. It's not cool to do","and like, I've got my, uh, my hair in a really cute low bun, and, uh, like, I'm, I'm like, I think it's very cute and I","okay... it's a sunny day... my mom is at home and she's wearing this really cute sweater... her hair is down and she's probably reading on the couch. ","it's like a weird dream where i was like trying to like get something from like a store and like my phone is just like ringing and like ringing and ri","I think this is my 16th time doing this. I'm surprised I haven't done this before. I guess I'm more active on social media. I usually get on TikTok or","and I know. I know. And I'm like, yeah, and then like, and then it's like, I'm like no, you're not doing it, but like, I was","and that's what makes it so cool...is that there's...I think there's a...a bunch of...I don't know...like a bunch of people...there's a...there","and that was why I was in that moment, because I was in this moment, I was just like, you know, I was thinking about this one thing I was thinking lik","I donโ€™t know, I was thinking about like... like a time I was like, I was a little kid and my parents were like, they were like, I think it was a rainy","[talking about something on the phone], I'm like, it's just the tone of my voice, that's how it's like, it makes me sound so grumpy and stuff, like","and just to be honest, I'm a little bit annoyed I had to get to this meeting. But, but yeah, it's good to see you, you know, you're, you're","yeah, and you know, it's just... you know, I... I... I think that I might... like, might have had a bit of a, I don't know, maybe some","yeah, so I can't make this up right now. I think I was just so like... I mean I was like... I can't, I can't describe the feeling I was getting and","I'm thinking about that 100% thing that I feel like I've been doing, and I'm like I'm 98% sure I don't want this to go down but","i'm feeling kind of down, i think, i feel a bit more sad, more angry, and a bit more stressed out. i think i was a bit more positive just a few moment","I feel like I have a little bit more control over my anxiety, even though it's still there. I think I've just been in a lot of different moods lately,","[thought about] if I can, I can find some people that can help me to get my mental health back. [thought about and remembered] that the first time I e","and it's a great day, today, I feel really happy, it's a really good day, and I feel really good, I'm happy. I don't know what I'm happy about","and then I'm like, you know what, just like the morning after, that's not really gonna go well. I think it's like, that's gonna be more like a... like","what I don't understand about how I got here, is that I don't feel bad or anything...I feel okay, I feel like I'm just in my own mind, and I'm thinkin","I'm just sitting here, and I'm, uh, I'm just gonna be honest, I feel like I'm just kind of in a rut right now. And I just don't know how","[T]here's a [point] on a graph that I can't remember. Yeah. There's a point on a graph, right. It was like the other day that I was thinking","I was just thinking about what my dream was last night about like, I'm not sure I can remember it but I just, I can't remember anything like the begin","like itโ€™s like when youโ€™re like a good listener and youโ€™re like, and youโ€™re a good listener, like youโ€™re like when youโ€™ve got like someone like, you k","and I don't know, I just feel like I'm going through the motions like a robot and that's a little bit hard, and it's, I don't really want to, I don","I was just thinking that like, there was this one friend of mine who's really just like, a lot of the time, but, I know it's a lot of my friend's faul","you know you have these kind of these days where you just want to not think about anything and you just go like on vacation, like I don't think about ","my feet are cold. I'm trying to remember how to be chill, like when you're with friends. And it's like I can't do that. And I just think about my feet","I'm just trying to make myself feel better, like I feel a lot better now, so I'm doing some things to help, so I can get through this. I'm going to tr","what a way to be in a bubble with my friends. Just chill and listen to music and do stuff. And the last thing I did before this was I was on the couch","my own mind is like the universe. And there's so many things that come through it. It's a lot like how the universe is full of all kinds of energy, bu","[T]hings that are being brought to your attention. Like what if this happens? Like if there's like a like if it's just like it's it's a big thing, lik","like we're a little bit like an orchestra where it's like each note and each line and each riff, each individual instrument is like the thing that's g","and then I was in my head, in my head I was in the moment, I was like, oh wow, this is a nice feeling, and then I got like, I want to be","the little things that we can see. I feel like it's a lot easier to understand my life, to understand what I'm going through. When I do have the tools","the new episode is about my father's death and I can see myself being able to get through it because I can look at it and see it through my mom's eyes","and then I just, I don't know, just feel like, like when I was a kid, and my mom was like, oh, just sit back and enjoy the moment and just let things","a man on the moon... he's like, 'oh my god, I'm on the moon, I can't believe this is actually happening.' I'm like, 'no I feel it too","this is the problem. The more I do it, the less I need to do it. If I do it less often, I do it better. The more you do it, it just doesn","the next time I'll be more focused. I'll be in the middle of the day, I'll have more energy and more time and I'll be focused on that. But I know that","and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not the best way to do it. It's kind of like trying to figure out a puzzle with a single piece and then ","I'm reading an old book on the history of the universe and I'm having trouble getting through it because it's full of math formulas that I don't under","a few years back, I was at a friend's house. She was talking to me and she mentioned a couple of words, like, 'I know I'm not doing a good job with th","I'm going to try to do a bit of planning now, and I'll use a visual aid that I made, where I can draw the tree of the things I'm currently thinking ab","I don't want to, like, go in too deep and start trying to, you know, like, 'figure out' like what it is that we're trying to figure out. I think","I think about my mother and her life and how she's been going. She's doing well, she's getting to this point where she's able to stay at home. She's s","And that's not even the biggest worry, it's just, there's like, a big, massive one. And it's like, I'm so worried that I'm not going to get married","so I guess I'm going to keep doing that. I have the sense that it's a good way to build my brain. I don't know, maybe it's just a feeling, but I","the 'newness' of this time is very interesting. I see in it a possibility of a 'reset' of a way of thinking, of being. Not as a 'reset to default'","and now, you know, there's the other side, there's other kinds of experience, right? ... So, I don't want to lose that. And I don't know, I think","I wonder what it would look like, in the long term, if we had to do this all the time, and we have to do it in public. So I wonder if that would creat","we're in the middle of a war in Ukraine. I remember reading an article a couple of weeks ago about how many Ukrainians were using a certain kind of we","you have to be in a place where you have a lot of time to spend with the people that you care about. ... So I think I really had to be honest with mys","we know, that when we have an idea, we're excited, we want to get it down, and we want to write it down and we want to do it fast, right? And so","and I'm also going to have to take this. And you know, I've seen a lot of articles that say that even if you take a tiny little bit of it, even one mi","And you know that the whole point of this is that we're all part of the same universe. So we're all connected to each other and to this. And that the ","so my thinking is that the human species is kind of like a family, where everyone has a specific role and purpose and we are all interconnected. We ne","the earth is just this huge system that's really interconnected. So if you want to change any of the things in the system, you're gonna have to take i","I don't even know how many of us are doing this, but the fact that you can just come together and get some information out of the other people and sha","okay. So if we were to look at the internet as a metaphor for how humans think, I think we're going to find that it's more like the human brain. So th","what is the most efficient way for a person to gain a lot of knowledge about a topic? Let's start with the question of: what does a topic mean to me? ","what if a single entity is the fundamental basis of everything? And then this entity can evolve into what we perceive as a human being. This is a ques","I'm thinking of the game, where we are like the people who are trying to control the network, and then the people who don't understand the network, th","I have been thinking about the idea of how to test for a certain property of a particular AI system. How do I go about this? In the case of human syst","(pause) and this is, as I said, we need to start thinking about the actual distribution of the time across the different models. That's part of what I","and you have a very high quality of information to make decisions, because you have a lot of information at your disposal and you have information tha","this is the reason why the world is like this, and it's not only like this for the humans, but for all living beings, it's not just humans. We are par","The sun is yellow. The sun is yellow because it's a light bulb that's a light source and is yellow. Yeah. And then it's because the light is yellow. B","okay. I'm thinking about the future. The future, is kind of the world at scale. At the very scale of the universe. It's one thing that the future, the","I can see the pattern of a solar system. That is to say that the sun is at the centre, and the planets are orbiting in ellipses. But in addition, I'm ","it was just like, like in this whole universe, I don't know how many universes, how many universes are there? And we have one, but that we are, in one","it's like this, when you're doing this, you have this stream of consciousness, you have all these different ideas running through it, and if you just ","a bird flies in front of your face, you move, and the bird is gone. Now you're in front of the bird. It's in your face. It flies, it goes out of","that is how it is. And, that is how it always was. The universe has been here for infinite time and there will be infinite time. And, there will be so","and there's this whole idea of being in a universe, a multiverse, a collection of universes, or a single universe with multiple versions of oneself, a","it's like you're just living a life, and you're just observing it. And that's just how life is. And that, it's the most natural way of being. And it's","what happens when a person dies, what happens to the brain? Do the neurons that make up the brain die, do they lose their connections, do the cells lo","the existence of the universe, of the space in which we are, is itself a mystery. It is a fact that is not explained. We are all trapped in our indivi","and I have a problem with the fact that there are no gods. I feel like there's something there, like an intelligence, that is... something that is ver","I see a tree, it's a pine tree, a conifer, I think, it's got needle leaves and not broad leaves, and so it's an evergreen, and that's an","the sounds of the voices in the room are in a sense the same thing as the sounds of the voice in the room. You've got an internal sense of how the voi","the thing I can remember, which is very familiar, is a piece of string. And you can imagine it, in your imagination. And if I take that piece of strin","and I'm thinking of the idea of how one might be able to create a person in a machine, that is, a sort of a virtual human being. And how it might be p","this is where a thing goes from one thing to another... where does it go from here? A thing is always something specific, but it is also something gen","And that is exactly the way I've been. But I had a really interesting thought. It's interesting because it seems to go against a common belief, which ","and it's a time in a sense that's sort of like a place in a sense. I mean, you're in space and time and they're not quite the same, they're sort of","I'm not quite sure if it's the same thought. ...I was talking about a kind of system of representation, ...that you could say the representations are ","what is the self. the self is that which can be a subject of thought. i think of myself as a being which can have conscious experience and a thought. ","I remember an old friend of mine, who was a German Jew. He was killed in a concentration camp in Europe, and in the last minutes of his life, he said,","and we would find our way back. And I have to say that there were two kinds of experiences, a kind that is almost identical to the experiences of the ","and suddenly I'm in a world where nothing is important any more, I'm just there to live my life. So that means that it's a completely neutral thing an","a voice saying 'this is all right,' saying that it's not just a problem but there is something very beautiful going on that's not a problem and that e","The first thing I think of, when I try to say out loud what is in my mind, is that it is nothing. That is not true. I have thoughts. But they are not ","It's an image of the world, an image that you can't see as you look at it but it's there, and it's always present and it's the most profound, the most","It is in my memory. And the memory is in me as it is in a room and the room is in me, and in the room is the memory, and I know that the room is","I have this idea...of a circle, and inside a circle, in the center, is a point...and I'm thinking of some...sort of...space, and...there are other poi","you can also take a piece of string and put it on the surface of the liquid, and you will see that the string will become tense. It's not elastic, it'","I want to ask you... I want to get closer to this experience of the brain and the brain's function. So the question is: in what way is the brain a bod","I see a rectangle, with a small circle in the middle. I see an arrow pointing out of the circle. I see the arrow turning in space, I see that the circ","and it's only one line in the notebook, the page where I wrote that thing I wrote about the thing that I wrote about that thing that I was trying to w","I'm not thinking. I'm just sitting here. I'm thinking of the way that if you can get two people to sit across from one another and get a paper in betw","this is the last time. So I can't move on any more. I can't do anything more. I want to say, 'I want to go up, I want to go down.'","there are those things that we call memories that we don't actually remember, you know? Memories that are not there, but they feel like they're there.","And now it's time to get to sleep, and it's like this: I don't want to get to sleep. I know that the things which happen, happen because of a need, a","the entire surface of the body is covered with small, interconnected holes, through which the whole organism is connected with its surrounding. Throug","a woman, I think. She is saying something. I can't hear it. I'm just... her voice is just emanating from me, it's a sound, something like a vibration,","what are these waves?... what does this thing mean?... the sound of my voice. I am... I am a sound of my own voice. What does that mean? I am not just","And then they're going to make up their mind and then you don't even know if it's the same thing or a different thing. You can't really tell what they","that's how it is when you are not aware of what you are doing. Then you don't know where your thoughts come from and they don't seem to originate in y","in my brain the image of a river appears, that I look at and can see that it's flowing. But the flow of the river is not so simple as the flow of wate","a blue star on the horizon. The horizon, it's like a place of rest, where you feel the weight of your body is gone, but you still have that feeling of","and that's it. That's it. And what is it? Well, what is this? The material. The matter. Matter. Well, what? The matter, what is it. And","in my body I am a black hole, a star, a light source... the earth is a star, but a star in a black hole... my body is a black hole; in this black","I don't know where to start. I'm really tired. I'm just looking for a point in the universe to connect to, a place of light and energy, of infinity, a","and there was nothingness, and then, suddenly, a new thought: 'I am nothingness', and then I felt a little bit of being, and I was like a small atom f","the [spacetime] continuum, the four-dimensional spacetime continuum, has become so compressed that the flow of time in it is such that its [length] co","I am a good mother, I am a very good mother, very, very, extremely good, but I don't love my son. And I don't know why. I don't understand why","[The] thing is, when I get really intense, really really, I get to a point where there's a complete cessation of any sort of mental activity. It's as ","the problem is that you know, it is possible to have a thought, a thought of a thought, so that is the same problem again, I am trying to think of a t","I don't know, I don't know what I think about it... but I feel something about it. And I think the reason why it's in me is because I don't feel that ","(nothing) ... (nothing) (nothing) I have no idea what is happening now. (nothing) Nothing. (nothing). (nothing) Okay. I've been thinking about this fo","I'm wondering what exactly is happening here, or rather, how is it happening. I don't understand the situation in which I find myself, and I am aware ","and here it comes. I feel this wonderful warmth, it's a good feeling, and I'm getting a little better and a little better. This warmth is the awarenes","I am not aware of my thought, not of its content, not of my thought itself. I am only aware of this non-awareness. And the thought, if it is a thought","what it's really like is that I feel the need to look in the direction of what is known to me, in the direction to which my memory leads. I feel like ","and what I'm thinking at the moment is the experience of this body as a continuous field, not just as a body which is made of parts. This is something","The world is in a state of being and at the same time in a state that is not yet being. In the first sense it is being because it is always present to","it's a good thing that you know that there's no God and that there's a universe and that's all there is, and that it's all part of an interaction of e","so I don't think the world has ended and I don't see how it could, it is a very reasonable, healthy state of mind, but the question is, is there a nee","that's true, if you don't know what you're talking about, it doesn't mean anything. For instance, this idea that if we have a group of people who know","so, so, so. I can't do this, because I can't, I don't know what it is, I can't know what that is, because I have to believe in something","and then a person is like, I need to go to that state and experience that state. It's not enough to just have a state in the head, you have to go ther","I am not aware that there is a present, just a flow of consciousness, so the idea of time, the idea of a moment, doesn't exist, but as soon as there's","there's the... there's the idea of the... the idea of being and not being. This idea of being. And being is a condition, in which I am not yet. I am n","I wonder if the whole idea of human thinking, to have a conscious thought, is an illusion. I'm not sure. Is it? Maybe it's like a dream. Maybe all thi","the images are of some of the things that I've seen, and it's my mind's eye that I'm seeing, that's what I'm seeing. I'm seeing things that are being ","a lot of things I don't know about. The world is so complicated and so wonderful, and so interesting and so mysterious. And the mind is very complicat","and I don't know whether that's what I have to do in order to get to know my self more deeply, because it is not what I am. That's just something that","I see the words of the text, the words of my body. They're moving and coming together into the words of the mind and I'm seeing them as they form. The","I am listening to the sound of my own voice as I think it is coming from somewhere else. This sound is so strange, it is not my voice, it is just the ","and the things I say are just a projection of my own thoughts and my own feelings. I'm not talking about what's happening right now, I'm talking about","I'm remembering this memory, and then I'm remembering the memory of this memory. And I'm remembering how that memory was not only this memory, but thi","I'm imagining a guy, a man, who is 50 years old, who is also thinking of his life, and his life is now finished. But there is an element of his life","the truth of my existence. What is it? The truth of my own existence. And yet there is no truth, no existence, because there are no truths, there are ","It's been a long time since I thought about this. It was a long time ago, a long time before. I think it was a very long time ago. The sense of time i","the feeling of the air, that the air has a different density and viscosity at different temperatures... that it's the same air at different temperatur","the child was in front of a mother. The child was not moving, but the mother was moving. The child's body was moving and the mother was not moving. So","so much of it [thought] is just there, you know? It's like, 'hey, let's just say something'. It's a very simple process of letting words come out. It","I'm seeing a bird flying over the ground, and it's making a sound like a train going past me, but it's in the sky. I'm also seeing my body moving, in ","I've seen a lot of different colors. And I've seen them on this screen and I've seen some colors in my mind's eye that are more like the colors on the","oh no! it's going to be... it's going... going... going to be going to be.... going to be very very very... very very very very small.... very very ve","and I've had a feeling lately... like, like my... my head was sort of... getting smaller. And I know it's not, it's not the case, but I have a feeling","this is a picture of my dad, you know, this is a kind of picture, of me, this is me in the past, of me in the future. I'm looking at me,","I have to stop. I have to say I love you. I'm not sure if I want to. I don't know how it will feel to say it. I don't even know","It's not that I can't do it, it's just that I don't know how, it's not that it doesn't exist, I just can't remember... it's not like a","and there was a huge white space between those two words, I saw the huge white space, the huge white line, and it was like a mirror. Like when you loo","it's as if I was inside of me, like a film. It was like a film in my head. And that I could not control. It was very strange, it was like that I","the lights go on. It's the lights of the train station... you can hear the sounds of the train going out of the station... and I think I see this litt","[a] small sphere that would fall and bounce around and be attached to some kind of line, that would go around, it would go around a big ball. [A]re yo","[A] little black and white picture, a little dot in the middle, [an] infinity sign. [A] kind of little spiral. I wonder if it could be related to my e","and the birds are flying along, the way that I was taught to draw them in my head, and the way that they appear when I draw them with a pen. Then I am","And then I see a yellow bird. I'm looking out the window at a tree, and the bird is on the branch of the tree, and it's a yellow bird, and it's dancin","... ... ... ... ... (then a pause, followed by) ... ... ... there was a black background, a blue sky, the sun shining, and then it was just a blue sky","I am a tree, I am a tree and I grow. I am a plant, I am a flower. I am not a flower, I am a leaf, I am not the leaf.","and when I think of the sea, and the waves, and the currents, and how I wish to go down to the sea, to the sea I can't see. Because I don't know","there are mountains and mountains, and they're not mountains in the usual sense, but rather, mountains of mountains, that is, mountains with mountains","the memory of the bird that sang to me...of my father...of my mother...the bird that sang...the sound of the bird singing...a bird...a bird in the sky","The scene before me changes from a flat landscape to a garden, and the garden is a garden of flowers, all of the same colour. I have no idea what colo","I see a landscape, a field of flowers, and trees, and the sun. And then, I see a lady, in her white dress, and her white hair and a white hat, and","and they are looking at the blue, and then they are looking in another direction, and the sky has the light of the sunset, and the grass is green, and","my finger is now pointing at the tree, I am looking at the tree. I am looking down at the tree trunk. I am lying on my back with my eyes closed. My fi","my hands are really really wet and it's all a dream and I'm not afraid and it's not cold, the water is so cold and then the water is not cold and I ca","I have just been thinking of the whole family, of my grandmother and my mother and father. And I see them all in this great circle, all sitting round ","I am the son of the sea; I have no father. I am the son who came out of the sea and walked upon the sea; but no man knew him. But I am the Father","I have an idea, I will write it down: in a state of total sleep, like an abyss, a cave, a chamber, or a river. I will call this 'the river of","I don't know where to go from here, the floor is there, and the ceiling is there, but there's nothing there. The light is so great that it can't be th","I remember a little boy who was walking on the street with a lantern and was lost. I know that it was in the summer, but I can't remember whether it w","my mind is empty, there's no more, the black sky, and the stars are like tiny black flowers. A light wind, the grass, and the sun. I want to die. I","the heart was a bird. In the center of the heart was another heart and a star. The bird was singing a song and the bird's song was a star. This star w","I don't think I'm ready to go. I'd rather not go there now. But I'll go there tomorrow. I'll go where you are going. I want you to go where I"],["and so I'm thinking, maybe I'm just...you know, I think maybe I'm not so interested in it, you know?...maybe I'm not, you know, maybe I am","the reason why I don't have any kids is because I'm afraid. I don't want to be alone. And if I did have children, it would be like I would have to be ","the mother died when I was young. She was the only one. I just miss her, you know, but I miss her even more than my father, because he was always arou","you know you don't want to tell me your thoughts. And I don't want to hear them. That's what I think. You don't want me to hear them because you don't","I know. I've thought about it before, and I couldn't find anything, except that I'm a bad person, I'm not that kind of person. ...I'm a good person,","and then I thought about how, when I was in high school, I had this friend who was going to be my best friend for the rest of my life, and he was just","and then the thought comes and it's just there and it's like a little spark. And that's why I really like to write. I like writing. Because when I'm w","and the boy in the movie. That's funny, because that's a boy I knew when I was little. But I don't think it was the same one. Anyway, that's a good","[I]t's so funny because I was having these dreams, you know, where I'm on a horse and it's running around, you know and then I'm chasing a guy who's","and I am walking by the library and I'm walking to the library, and I'm going to the library and the library is here on campus. And I think I just wal","and I thought it's weird because when I was with my grandma, when she would pass her hand on me and I would like it, she would say to me 'I'll love yo","and I just noticed how this is like the last time I went to the beach, and I was like, 'This is like my favorite part of the beach.' And I was thinkin","it's been like a year since i've had a good cry in front of him, i was like, i'm so happy i'm like, 'y'all need to know i'm good,","I'm imagining I'm in a classroom with all of my friends and we're all like, 'holy crap I miss you,' and we're crying and like hugging and stuff and li","you know what Iโ€™m thinking, itโ€™s the song, 'Iโ€™ll be waiting, and when you come around youโ€™ll see, how much Iโ€™ve missed you. Iโ€™m gonna be waiting.'","I have so many plans. It's so frustrating. Like I have so much to do and I just... I don't want to. But it's just so hard not to. Like I just","I think you're too good for him. I wish I was you. I wish you weren't there, I wish I wasn't here. I wish he wasn't in my life. I wish","[pause] You don't have to pretend. This is not a game. You don't want me to pretend. [pause] I know I shouldn't say this, but I don't like","I'm not a bad person. I'm not bad. I know it. But I have done so many horrible things. I have done terrible things. I've ruined so many lives. I've","I was thinking that I could take advantage of that... of that, of that, the fact that you said you were gonna talk about me in front of him...and I'm ","And that I have done in the past, but I haven't done it for a long time. I don't know, I just want to. I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid I","I feel like Iโ€™m becoming more and more disconnected from my body. My heart doesnโ€™t feel like it belongs to me anymore. Itโ€™s like a part of me is lost ","[My] life is a lot more than I realized. I just never had the energy to explore. I mean, I've been through so many things, and I've been able to have ","[T]hings are really so chaotic. So many things go wrong. The chaos is not the kind I can handle. It is so chaotic... I need to focus and figure out wh","you can't run away from something if you don't feel it's there. It's not like I'm avoiding it, I'm just not trying to fight it or to run away from it ","I'm not even sure what the point of this is. What I would do is I would just try and make as little mistakes as possible. It's kind of like a free ass","the story of a time, years ago, when I was still in high school. I was in my last year. My best friend in school was my best friend. She was one of th","I'm thinking of the people I'm close to, like my dad. He's really a very supportive dad, but he also has a lot of opinions that aren't always well rec","I have been in a lot of trouble in the past, and I always thought I'd end up in jail. But it didn't end up that way, because my dad was always there f","I'm not sure why I'm so good at this job. I feel like it's supposed to be my fault that I've been in it for so long. I always think that I'm not","I think I just finished reading about this one person who was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I remember thinking that's so unfair that they had to go t","so we're still not like a little girl in the way that we're still like a little boy and we just sort of sit there and we get frustrated and it's like ","the old lady who died a few years back...she was like me, in my fifties. I'm in my sixties, I think, and I had this same kind of thing going","and then I think about my sister, who is, like, the most messed up person that I have ever met. And I have always known this. Like, when I was 17,","And I'm so frustrated...and I'm so scared...I'm so angry...I'm so hurt...I'm just so...so frustrated. And I mean that to everyone. Like, I","I can't believe this. I don't know how I got this far. I just know I'm going to end up dead. It's not fair. Why do I have to be in this","my daughter's going to be okay, but it's been hard, I just...I don't know, I feel so guilty, you know? I was so busy, I was so stressed,","[T]he person I've been seeing for the past two weeks, I just feel like I don't really want to have anything to do with them anymore. It just feels lik","and I'm trying to be happy but I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of negative thoughts and emot","I have this picture in my head of a scene where I'm talking to someone, and they're being really hurtful, and I just can't seem to stop thinking about","I want to go to sleep. I can't sleep right now, but I want to go to bed because I need to do a lot of crying. I don't want to do it, but","And then I was like, what is this? Is it some sort of bad trip or something? And then I just kind of went with it. And it was like, it was like a real","And I feel like my brain is just a mess. I'm just... I just need to figure out how to be happy again. I'm trying to be a better person for my mom, and","the world is a mess and i donโ€™t know how to fix it and iโ€™m not even sure that there is an answer for it and itโ€™s really scary because i feel like iโ€™m ","And then I feel like I don't have a right to ask that, you know. So I think about that. Like, I'm not like a privileged person, but I have a lot of","you know, it's weird that my feelings towards my mother have kind of changed a little bit. I kind of feel a little less resentment and I kind of want ","I was at the mall the other day and I had this like, I was trying to have fun and be like, I don't care about these things, but I was like, okay, I","I was having an issue where I was just trying to find a way to explain to myself why I was upset about it, and I don't know, I don't think it was real","[a]bout...about what happened this morning. I know that it was just a little...I know it was just one or two moments where I was...I just was...I was ","I remember I was playing this game on my phone. It's a game where you have to say like a sentence and it tells you if it's positive or negative. And I","this is me doing some kind of abstract art. Iโ€™m making a bunch of little shapes and Iโ€™m going to try to connect them in a way that makes sense. Iโ€™m go","a lot of stuff that i can't really access so i'm gonna have to make it up but uh but it's like the last thing that i'm trying to do in this game is uh","I remember thinking that you know there are some things that you can do, like for example when you have a big project that you know you have to do it ","I wonder if this is the time where you could come back, and see your old friends. And you get to say hi to everyone. And you could get a hug and then ","oh yeah, that's true. Oh yeah, that is true. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about now, too. Oh yeah. You're not going to do it. It's","I've been feeling really anxious. Like I'm going to get sick, and I think my immune system is really low, and I'm going out in the open, and I don't k","I'm having thoughts of maybe getting a haircut... like maybe next week, I'm like, I've been having these thoughts like maybe I should get a haircut be","and so yeah it's really sad and it's very easy for me to feel like this. And I think it's probably because I feel like I'm just not really a person. I","the other one is... I mean like... I know my brain is going to be like this all day, so I know how to manage that, but you know, I think about a lot o","my friend said they could be my mom, and I was like, what? And then I was like she's not like my mom. She's not like mine. So it's weird. And","this is a guy that's not very good at multitasking. So he'll have like this, like a two-hour commute and then like a 40-minute commute, but then he's ","[sigh] I'm really getting bored with the same things all the time. Like the same jokes or memes. I'm like...what do I do with my time when I have noth","I'm talking about a time when I was doing a project for a class and my professor was like, 'oh, you're doing this? Okay, it's fine. You can do it.","I'm going to do a thought-aloud study on myself to see if there's anything interesting I can say out loud. I want to say whatever comes into my head a","so I think it's just this... because I can't do this... like it's like I can't, I can't figure out how to do it... I can't even like write down","my family is very big, they're all from the same generation, I can't even say what their generation is, it's just, I'm a 32 year old person. I don","[I have] a dog. The dog is a lot bigger than him. Like, they were big kids. I'm not sure what grade they were in, but I remember the dog being very","thereโ€™s a big difference between wanting to make it and wanting to make something, but then what we actually make is what we really want. Like I want ","so I've never really talked about my favorite childhood book because I feel like it's not really a favorite. I don't know. I feel like the characters ","I am thinking about how my son is going to have to go through puberty in the coming years, and how he is going to be different than how he was at this","it was like I was thinking about the pandemic and then I realized that I was trying to do that too. I thought, 'Oh, my gosh, that's really good that I","and like, and I'm thinking, I'm thinking about it and like, I'm just, I don't know, like, it's hard to just like, I feel like, I mean","And you think you're like, super amazing, right? But then, you know, like, the reality is you're actually just like, average, but you're just like, tr","I can see this, uh, this is like a like a weird thing that happened to me in high school. Like a couple of people were like, they were just like talki","I canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m saying this, but I am so fucking horny right now. I really, really wanna go down on you and just get some blowjobs, and just have ","I think I'm going to try to eat my dinner first, and then get to work. I think I'll be able to get more done with my work tomorrow. I'm going on my se","my hand is literally being dragged by a stick thing. It's being dragged by this stick. Like, this stick is literally just dragging my hand. And I thin","I feel like I have to do so much right now, it's like I'm drowning in a sea of tasks and responsibilities, and I just can't even keep up. I have to pa","I just made it to the first page...I'm working on this report now. I just started it. I'm looking at my outline, I don't know if I'll be able to get","I feel like I'm in a constant state of being stressed about stuff that doesn't really matter. Like, it's just the normal kind of stress I have, but it","I feel like a robot sometimes. I can get really caught up in my life and it's just a robot, I have to remind myself to stop. It feels like I'm just do","I can't take it anymore. I'm done with all of this. I need a break. I need to take time for myself. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and stressed out.","I know there is something that I should do that will make a difference, but I'm too scared. I just feel like I can't do anything right and it's weighi","I have a bad feeling about this. I don't like where I'm going. I donโ€™t feel like I'm doing the right thing. I've been putting off dealing with my anxi","you know, I have this really bad feeling that I'm going to miss this. Like, I think I'm going to get in the car, and I'm going to end up driving to th","the thing is, you know, thereโ€™s this guy that I know on Twitch, and heโ€™s really good at what he does, and he has a huge following, and he just started","I just think about all this, and I donโ€™t want to do that anymore because itโ€™s all, itโ€™s not like it was like a, like, I didnโ€™t feel like I was in","you have a problem with, I donโ€™t know, people. Like, itโ€™s a good thing that you have a lot of friends, like, you donโ€™t have, itโ€™s, I don","it's like this, we have this thing going on where they're like, we're not even sure, but they're like the Trump administration, they're not even gonna","and then he says, โ€˜hey, this is gonna be a long, long day, weโ€™re going to be at home and Iโ€™m going to be tired but Iโ€™m gonna work my tail off","I don't want to go into that, but like, it was the first time I did anything like this because I haven't been like, on the scene since like, mid-202","I was in the shower when I heard the news. I heard on the news that this man, this guy was in the news last year. I don't know who he was. I just reme","I want to do well, so I don't want to get into trouble. I don't think I want to go to college, but I want to do okay for myself. I don't like","itโ€™s funny Iโ€™m looking forward to this...this...this is gonna be fun to do...I think Iโ€™m gonna be okay...I donโ€™t know if Iโ€™m gonna make it, I","I feel like my life is just a long list of failed attempts, you know, like I keep trying to make progress, but itโ€™s all just feeling like Iโ€™m just sor","and Iโ€™m just really sorry for this, because Iโ€™ve just been thinking about this all day and Iโ€™ve been, you know, I donโ€™t have much to do so Iโ€™m just li","it's not as easy as i thought it would be to write this down. i'm not really sure what it is about writing that bothers me, but i know that i can talk","[about] my work life, how the system is designed now, how it's set up and how it can be better, how we can be better as people and professionals. I fe","we have to make sure we're not doing things that are really damaging to the environment. Like, I went to a couple of different companies like, a few c","it's funny. It's so funny. I'm like this. I'm, I don't want to sound like a wuss. Like this. It's like it's a bad joke.","the idea of just taking a nap on a bench in Central Park. Thatโ€™s one of those ideas that comes from just seeing the park and thinking like, okay, like","you know I was kind of disappointed when I saw you guys in that thing that you guys did with the people in the prison in California because they were ","I want to say I want to buy a boat. I just want to say that I just want a boat. It's really scary right now, it's really scary to think about all the ","I feel like Iโ€™m just looking for a way to make a living. Like I have to hustle to make money to make money for my sonโ€™s college. I feel like I need to","and I'm thinking about the people that are... uh, they don't have an understanding of like the scope of what's going on with climate change. I'm talki","I think the thing with AI is that people are getting to use it without really understanding the ramifications of using it. I think it's going to take ","and if I was to look at the number of people who were trying to get out of the US because of the war, because of the fear of war, and you know, becaus","I'm gonna get up. I'm gonna try and go to the gym tomorrow. And maybe I can just like, make it a little bit of an exercise. You know, and then I'm","like some kind of an alarm, like some kind of a bad sign. Yeah, I just keep on getting more and more frustrated with this, I don't know, I think it's ","and you know, I've been feeling a bit stressed and a bit worried. And you know, it's just this constant feeling of, like, you know, you're like, 'Hey,","it's funny. I guess that's a sign of aging. When I'm out of my house, I don't feel so safe anymore. I feel like I need to be on high alert because","I am aware of that. And I've been trying to think of ways to manage it, you know, just kind of dealing with it. I don't know what to do. I just try","I feel so anxious and overwhelmed. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep it all together. I keep thinking about what I should be doing, and then I get","I think I'll get a massage today. I haven't gotten one in a while and it might help with some stress and tension. Maybe I'll try a different kind of m","the other one is a little bit of a challenge, and I'll have to think about that. It's a little bit more technical, I think, because it involves more o","I'm thinking of the things that I could do to improve my health and fitness. It's something that I've been thinking about for a while, and it's been o","And there were no, you know, there was like no like there was no like, and then the last two were like, I don't know if you remember but it was like, ","there's a lot of things I've been putting on hold because of COVID. So I had a friend, he wanted to, he wanted to buy a home, and I was like, oh,","I'm just gonna have to be very careful. I mean, I guess it's going to be a little bit different. I mean the people that have been doing it for a long ","I think that, you know, when I think about it, it's just that I'm like, I'm like always, like when I think, like I think about my job, it's","I'm gonna try to make a blog for my little sister... to write down what she wants to be and her dreams... but also she has a lot of mental health stuf","I can't go out. I just... I think I'm going to get stuck in this house. I just. I mean, I'm like, I feel like I'm gonna be stuck here","I'm going to try to finish this report, because it's due on Thursday. I don't want to stress out too much about it. I'll just try to do my best. It's","so I got a really great book, which I'm going to read soon, and it's a book called 'The Little Book of Common Sense Investing'. So it's a little book,","I have some ideas on how to approach this. It's just a matter of getting the right information and putting it together. It's not about just knowing th","I think weโ€™re in a time where everythingโ€™s being outsourced to the cloud. And I think the cloud is gonna be the future of everything. I think itโ€™s gon","what I was thinking, you know, a lot of things that are happening around me, but I think I'm just going to be okay with it. I mean, I'm trying to stay","I'm in a meeting right now, and I'm actually listening to a podcast at the same time, so that's just, it's a mix, I think. I think it's a good","I was thinking about some of these... and I'm wondering why, why it was such a big deal. Like... I didn't really need it to be a big deal to me becaus","you know it's like, and you kind of wonder how people that work in the field, do they see the same things that I'm seeing that you know, and I mean it","and then I would have to go back to school to make up the time that I was out of school, but that's like, you know, and I don't know if it's the same","so it's just the most bizarre, but it's also just kind of, it's a really good one, because, like I said, it was a big deal for us because we were like","[T]he most important thing that I've learned this year is that it's okay to be a little bit of a bad person and just be yourself. I mean, you don't ha","I'm feeling like I should be more proactive about things. Like I should be taking more steps to achieve my goals and to make my life better. Like I do","I'm thinking about that meeting we had last week, and I feel like I should follow up with the team to see how they're doing and to get any updates. I ","I got into a situation that's been really challenging for me lately, where I'm trying to be more proactive about things. I mean, I'm not someone who i","and the second one is... and I think it's, it's just... it's just not, there's a little more... like a little bit of a gap right now, and I think","okay, so the goal with this is that this is going to be like an evaluation for when I have to have a discussion in front of my boss, and I'm just tryi","So I know what you're trying to do, I'll tell you what you're going to have to do. So first you're going to need to be able to work with the client to","I can't really answer the question. The reason I am struggling with it is because I feel like I want to focus on the more practical aspects of it. Lik","and I am having a lot of fun here. I think I'm a lot happier. I've been around people and it's just very interesting to be here with people and get to","I'm talking about... about the... I'm talking about the, I'm talking... I'm looking at my... I'm looking... I'm trying to, I'm trying... I'm listening","[a]t this point in the analysis, it seems that I'm not sure what's driving this. I feel like a lot of this is the same question of how should you do r","I have been reading a little bit about the book, the book in the book, in the book of the Bible of the book of, well, in the New Testament. I mean, Je","So that's what I was doing here today, is I was looking for a way that we could go after this. This is not a new topic. This is a topic that has been ","okay, so we've talked about the different ways of being able to make a contribution and a connection. We talked about this one, this one, and this one","I'm reading through this. I'm thinking about the thing that we're working on for our assignment and it is about the meaning of being a leader, specifi","what weโ€™re looking for here is, is it the same thing that we do when weโ€™re creating a project. And we have this idea that this is a new problem and Iโ€™","And what would you want to know about the future of the climate, and what would be the best way to influence this and what would you need in order to ","[00:57]I'm not sure what to make of this. There's a lot of, I'm just trying to think through some of the implications of what we've seen over","I don't want to think about it. I don't have time to think about it ... I'm busy ... I can't get time ... I can't even think about it because it's too","and the fact that it's a small room and I don't have much to say but I will say it's very hot and I'd like to sit in the sun a little bit. But I","it is very important that you always look at the situation in a new way, and don't try to get a view of the whole thing, because you can't get a view ","it's not like they are talking to me, because I don't think I am doing anything in the story. It's not a story, but it's the same thing. It's just lik","and I am saying to you that I am here to make you well, I am here for your soul. I will say the name of Jesus for your healing, and you shall be heale","this is the reason, the reason why, the reason I was able to get up and walk. This is the reason why I was able. Oh! What is it that I am speaking of?","what do you do if you are not going to get out of bed? And we think if we get out of bed, it means we are going to get up and do something. And it is","I've got to go somewhere, and I'm not going to take them to school; they'd get a whole mess of trouble for being out in the street with me like that. ","I'm sure that's all true. If I had any friends I'd have gone to see them. I wonder what I'd say if I went to see them now. What would I say to","And what if I had a dream, like a dream about a girl, about a little girl who was coming out to a ball in the house? And the woman had to give her awa","Oh, I'm getting up; I must go; I must get my book, and the handkerchief that I used to blow my nose with, and go to my mother; I mustn","You, too, must do the same... For, as you have seen, even in this world there is the devil in everything. And when they have taken away your bread and","And I'm a woman, and I don't care whether I am or not, and I have no idea of the matter. I can't imagine why it should be different from a man. And","Oh, no! No! No! Oh, no, no, the little white girl, the little white child, she was beautiful, the little child with the hair as white as snow and the","there, now you can have it... that was the word... yes, you can have that, now! It's mine... no, no... it's not... you must have it. You","the head. And then a whole flock of them all up together. They went away together and all went off in a hurry. And she went on, and she cried all the ","I thought, if you will excuse me for saying it, there's a lot of people in this room that look like I look, but they don't look as handsome as I do. T","I don't know what it is. I wonder what it is he's talking about. I wonder where that poor, poor little girl is. It's not fair to her, that's what it","it's a question of a great deal of work that's done over here, and it's a little bit of a worry about the future. It's a question as to who will come ","this is a kind of a piece of music...I want to play it on the flute, but I am not very good. It has a sort of a whistling sort of sound. I","and I've got a headache, I've got one, I'm coming for your head! You're not going to do anything, are you? You're not, are you, are you not","I'm sitting down. And I see you're sitting down. I see you. Oh, I see you in front of me. You're standing on the doorstep of a cottage, and I","we know that the black man, or the white man, if he does not get out of the way, he'll get hit; he's never got a chance to get out of his way.","Now the one that was just a minute ago. I just told you it wasn't me. But it was. I was saying it was. It was. It wasn't me, I was saying","And we see the last one, the last one. You're very good. You're a nice little boy. Now, I want you to say you're a nice little man, and then you","And it's all very nice, but he's not there; he's dead. He's not there. He's dead. And I'd have a fine time, only he's dead, and","and then the three of us - I, and my little brother, and my sister, and my mother, and the three of them and me - we had gone out to play, and I'd","And I will put you in the grave like a child, and I will lay you down in the grave, and the worms shall eat you, and the birds of the heaven shall dev","all my thoughts, and all my ideas, all my fears, all my loves and all my joys and all my sorrows, and all the love which I have given and all the sorr","now, a word I need to say. I'm going to have to say something that I don't like to say, but it's a thing that must be done, it is an unavoidable neces","It was my first time, but the next one was just as much a shock and a surprise and it's almost like I am in love, and I haven't been in love yet. It's","I think the sky is a bit blue this morning, don't you think? Well, the sky has always been blue. It was blue on the day of Christ's birth, and it was ","I think, I don't know, that it's not right. I think that it's wrong. I don't like this. I think I think that this is wrong, this is wrong.","I'm going to tell you a story. The story is about a young man who was a painter of pictures. His name was, I don't know, a very nice man. And he was","And this was in the month of Ab, that is to say, of August, that the king made the people a feast at that feast, to the tune of the psalms of the Lord","and I will sit down and sing in the church. I will sing my song in the choir, and the bells will ring and all the bells will be singing. Then I shall ","And I'll do my work here at the window, and I'll hear all the sweet little birds chirping, and sing out with them, and then I'll sing the song, and we","I don't know what I'm thinking of now. Oh, I'm thinking of the new dress. Oh, what a lovely dress. Oh dear! I'm thinking I'm going to cry.","it's a wonderful thing to have a woman to make you happy. It's a wonderful thing. And what it is to be a woman, it's a wonderful thing... and I don't ","Oh yes, they were always saying, 'What's a pretty girl doing in a place like this?' And that's just the way it is in the country, folks. People don't ","I've been thinking about that tree, you know that tree down at the bottom of the place where the church is... it's the only tree that stands there all","that's it. I'd better get on to the next chapter, now. 'Oh, yes, this is the chapter about the dead! There's no mistaking it! Here it comes!","And I'll have to have it ready tomorrow for that big day, and it's not finished yet. I've just finished the first page, I've got a lot to do; and I'm","I don't want to die. I don't want this thing to take me. I don't care what it's called. I don't wanna go away. I'm not so young to be","And the thing I'd like to know, that I wonder, is, if I was going to go there and live, how I should get the clothes on my back. I suppose I shouldn't","and all that's the same with me, if I hadn't had a child, I'd be dead, I'd've been dead. But the little thing saved me, she's saved me,","and I thought, now that's funny, I thought I had seen a horseman in a field of grass and he was riding on his horse and he was saying, 'I'm a King,'","a man and his dog was riding along the side of a road, and it was raining, and the dog was just a little bit wet, and they were riding along side of t","it is a wonderful world, all beautiful and good, and there's no one to do any harm to any one; no one to fight or fight with any one else, or kill any","and he went into the house to look for the girl, but she wasn't there. And he looked on the roof, but she was not there, either, but he heard a voice ","and I've had the idea all along, that in the very first moment, when we had come to the house, that one of the robbers, I know I should have heard him","You see, he says he's in love with you, and it's a great story, but he ain't telling no more of it. He ain't said nothing to me about you since he","now I will try to write. No, I will not write. I am sure that the note has not come from the school, but that I have it in my pocket. Oh, it has","I went into the house, and I looked at all the things in the house; I looked at the things that had been stolen from me, and I could not stand to look","You would have to think you were there to know who had killed the man. You would have to go to the place where the murder was committed and have seen ","the dog's tail came up and then down and the little boy took it and tied it to the handle of the plough. Now, you know, he never got back to the house","what would you like to do? Come on, you'll never be sorry if you don't have a little fun; you've got no reason to be sorry if you do have a little. No","then I will look out, and I'll say, 'Look at this!'... I'll say to them, 'You see it now; it's not there; it's gone.'... But","I think I'll go now, but it would be a long way, and I shouldn't want to be in the house by myself at night, I was afraid of the dogs. I would rather","The most horrible thing I've ever seen was when we were going on holiday in France. We were going to France, and I don't know why we were going to Par","and I should go to a tailor. He might be an old fellow, he was a tailor before he was an undertaker. But they all know him here. That's what he'd like","I must have got lost, I suppose, in the fog. That's what I believe. No, I wasn't frightened, I wasn't, for that. I don't think I was.","Oh, my God. There's one thing I've got to get. That's right. A red carpet. I've got one thing to get. You see, I've got a whole lot","I'll go and have a look at that woman, I'll be a great deal more polite to her, if I could only find her!... She's the one that brought the bread yest","And we had a big argument last night. It was about the clothes. I think I've got a pair of them on, and I put them on the back of the chair when I got","we're not going to get away with it, is what I say, and she said, 'I don't care!' She was laughing like a hyena and I'm going to kill her.","I'm a bit ashamed of you. You've let the old man down. What's he going to think of me? Well, he won't think much of me. But then, he didn","and I wonder if they'd think as well, if they weren't so much tied up. I wouldn't care if I had to be tied up to be tied to him, I'd do it","the moment I come in I'm going to say 'hello' to you, you'll say 'hello', and then we'll just walk in and sit down and I'll tell you my business and","I don't know, I've seen them. They're only two days younger than we are, only two days. Only two days older. And they've got a great many things, and ","... a bit like a bit of a parrot. He said 'No, I'll come back some time.' That's a good thought, now, when did you last see him? ... I","the next morning she was to have a bath and get dressed. And her mother was to stay at the shop and keep an eye on the place and be home at dinner tim","I was thinking about the other day, about what I was going to say to him, if I was going to tell him how it was. I didn't want to tell him because I w","I suppose I am not doing so well, am I?... I've done it again, I suppose, and I'm going to have to tell her to-night, and then I'll just feel","he's got a good head on his shoulders, I reckon. He's been working hard. I wonder what he's going to say? It'll be something about the next man. I won","I was going to say: 'If you've seen the funny film in the picture hall, you'd like him.' She nodded. 'It's a funny film, isn't it? About a","I was thinking that it would be a good idea to start in the morning; that is, this evening, to start in a bit. I was thinking that perhaps we could st","I'm trying to get away from this house. I'm in a terrible fix. I want to get out of it, and I'm sure I shall. I want you to come here, and","I'll go and get a book and sit down, I'll see what's happening. It's a bit early to go back to bed, it's only about 6.30, but","I shall have to make a letter. It'll have to be a long one. It'll take all the time I have. Yes, I'll have to write it. There's no one here","I suppose you mean it's a long time since I've been up to the House of Lords, isn't it?... I can't remember when I was there, except when they sent fo","Now, you are sitting on a little sofa, and the sofa is hard. The sofa is under the window, and the window is open, and the rain is pouring down the st","I don't think I've ever had a real bad toothache before. I never get them. It's not a bad tooth. I don't remember it hurting so much. I never thought ","there were three of them, and I felt awful because I couldn't help feeling sorry for them. Then I felt as if I was going to cry and then I couldn't, s","[I was thinking of] the school day yesterday and how we had a very bad day because the old lady [who looked after the children] was a very cross one a","we've just been reading a book at school, and I've been wondering...what I could do about the girls we've got in school...what to do if I'm on my own.","I'm thinking of my mother's birthday today...she died three years ago...I haven't seen her for a year or more. It's strange, I've not heard from anyon","And then we went on to the next. And when we got to the next one, and they were asking us to read it, I didn't read it; I didn't think it would have","and he was asking me how he should be buried; and he said: 'You see, I don't want a tombstone with my name on it.' So I said: 'What about a","it's not a good thing that I have to work all the time; I am a woman, and my children should not be left all alone. I am so sorry I must go to the doc","I used to feel sorry for myself and then I would say, 'I wonder why it is that I have a friend who is so nice? And I am so selfish?' And I used to thi","you know, I'm beginning to think that we are only doing what we are doing because we have to. I don't know, it seems to me that we are not doing it be","and that's all I know about the next day, and that's what I'm writing about in my diary, about tomorrow. Tomorrow, I have to get up early, go to schoo","and that's what I'm going to tell her. I'm going up to Mrs. P. and I'm going to say, 'Mrs. P., I'm going to stay home this evening","you know, the fact that they were making such a fuss, and the fact that, uh, the fact was that I didn't care, and I couldn't see any sense in it. I","I'd have a nice time there. They'd probably give me a good job, too. They'd like me there, they'd let me in, and I could sit down. They'd be","I was always a good child...I used to get a lot of money out of the bank and my parents...I never did that to the bank before...I never stole anything","you know you're not a good person to have as a friend... I think you're a bit of a pushover. You never stand up for yourself. I think you let everybod","and so I'm thinking of this thing I read in the paper the other day about the man who came out of a gas company office with this girl and she was wear","it was in the first month that we had to start cleaning out the car, and I was the one who did that. And, well, I wanted to make it clean and everythi","and it was about that time that I was going to find out that I was getting my father's name. And I said to the girl that lived on the other side of th","Well, now I've got to think of something for that book. I'll have to go to the library. I don't know what it is to begin with, but I'll go down and","I haven't got any more. There's no use crying about it, no use. I might as well have got the money, and I know there is one thing I'd like to do with","a piece of ice in your hand, and it's hot, and you're hot, too, and it makes you sweat. And it's not ice, it's melted butter. I feel just","I don't think I can go on with it. I don't think they want to marry him. No, I don't see that. I don't want to think of it. I think","it was a very long time, I think, between the time he died and the time I met him again. I can remember the way he looked, but he wasn't like that any","And then he fell, he fell, fell right in the water, and that poor little fellow died in the water. But it was so good and pretty, and he had such a pr","and then I was just wondering, that's what I do, I wonder, and I wonder about my future. You see, I was going to be married, but they don't want me,","and I can't get the house out of my mind, because I can't think of what to do with it; there isn't anything left of it but the bricks. It's all gone o","and then there's another place, where you can't find anything. And that's where I'm going, to-morrow. The doctor told me. And I'm not going to any oth","And I want to know about the German, and they said they wouldn't tell me. But I know it's my father. They never tell me who my father was. I wish I kn","I've got to be at the station at six, or I shall never get the train. Oh, I'm too late! What shall I do? If I can't catch the train, I","and we can't go there... and I don't want to go there, but we must. He won't do it, and I don't know what I'd do. I don't dare","a man was about to have an accident. They were waiting for the train and the train was due. They went out and the man was knocked down, the woman was ","what about that. . . I wonder what they've done with that place. . . . I never knew that there was anything there. . . .I wonder if they ever saw me a","you'd never know what a fool I'd made of myself in my last life; I wouldn't be in this world; and I should have died long ago, if I hadn't been so car","and then there was another, and he was a little bigger than I was, but he wasn't as tall as the first one, but he was tall enough for me to stand up, ","a great many of them had the same name as I did, and there was a great many things they did, that I did. I remember a great many times I have been in ","I'm going to the market ... and I've got to go to the market and I've got two sisters in there and there was a great big hole in the road and I don't ","there's a man, that was living down the street, who's name was Bill Jones, and his wife's name was Kate, and they was having a baby, and the baby's na","The people in the place where they got off the train were standing by the road, and they all had their hats on, and they were waiting for the train. A","it's so hot today and I feel like going out and I think of a little old man who used to live down the road and he's got a nice little garden. It's so ","now, there's an old friend of mine. A great friend of mine, a great friend of my family. Her name's ... now it's not Mrs. Mullan, it's Mrs.","oh, dear me, I say. What was it you were saying, my dear? You're too fast for me, I'm afraid, you've got a voice like a bell. Oh,","and they don't need to be, though. They wouldn't be all that much use. They wouldn't fit into that sort of house. They wouldn't like that sort of coun","And there's another thing, you know, he's got the new suit. And I said, 'That'll come out of it,' and he said, 'No, no, don't mind","and I've got a new husband, you know. I don't believe we told you about it, now did we, ma'am? ... Well, I married him at the first sight I seen","And I can't help thinking about old times when I was young and could stand a glass of grog. I know you'll be wanting some, Miss. I'm sure you'd better","I've had a terrible time this morning. I've had a bad time, and I don't know why. I don't seem to like being here. I've been here all day. I","And now I think, that's right. He must be a clever fellow. I didn't like him, I think, because he was too clever, and I like a bit of plain dealing.","[to Mrs. H.], I don't think it's my fault. I don't see how it can be. I don't mean to say I don't love her. I wouldn't","I can't get him to help me with my work. He wouldn't help me at all. He wouldn't listen to me. He didn't know what I meant. I've asked him several","that's it. That's it. I'll tell you, if it hadn't been for him, I don't know how you would ever have got along with it. You see, he was","now that I am trying to think of something, I can't remember where I got the thing that I was thinking of, or who it was I gave it to. It was the ring","I could get out of the car and run through the woods...I've got the guns on me and my pocket knife. I can hide in the trees. There's a good big tree n","I think I'm a lucky man, eh, old woman? Yes, I am a lucky man. I have two fine girls to look after. I could have a dozen if I had money.","and then he was married to the lady that was a--well, there was one lady that I--I never did see him married to, but he was going to marry and I never","And she's always been, ever since she was a little girl, she's always wanted to be a singer. She always wanted to go out and be a star and get all the","I'm going to talk about it to the king. I'll tell him. And then I'll go back to my bed and sleep, and then I'll get up in the morning and do it","I've been thinking about how much I'll have to pay when we go for the wedding in the summer time and I said, 'I wonder if there's any other way we can","the children were all in the family. . . . Then he came and I came and we sat in a chair and talked. . . . And I went and got him a chair and he sat","you see, it's a horrible, horrible place. It's all dark and dirty. The streets were paved with stones and you couldn't see to walk in them, and then t","there's an awful lot of work on the farm, but not much of it done... there's an awful lot of it done, but there's not much of any of it... we've got","and then I can't see through the woods any more. They're so thick I can't get through them. They're too thick. I wish I were back in the house now, bu","I know it is only a few feet from the road. The way I could get to it is by going to the end of the house, then through the gate that leads to the kit","I don't see anythin' in this room but the bed...I wish I could get out of here. I could get the door open. The window is open. I don't think I","I can't believe I didn't bring my wallet. I've got to go down to the office, but it'll be locked up, and I've got no keys. Oh, dear, oh","I was reading the paper this morning and I had a friend who I've got to see in a few days. He's going to be back to town in the morning. He's been sta","I've just had a telephone call from a friend in South Africa. It's been a lovely summer for me, I've done lots of work, and I've got a letter from the","a white lady said that if you don't go on holiday with her, she'll do something awful to you, like smash up your house. That's awful. I'll have to pho","I was down by the lake yesterday, it was a lovely day, the sun was shining, the lake was full of fish and we had a lovely day there, we got some nice ","I have an idea - we can play 'one' - you can't go near the garden - if you go near the garden, we will catch you. We can play 'catch the pig'","the same as it was yesterday, I think... oh, well, I'm going to go out and have a look at them, see how the trees are growing and then we shall have t","the other day we were out and they put on the little dog they got yesterday, you know. She's got a white collar and black and a white, a white nose. O","I saw an old lady in a chair in my living-room. She's not here. She's gone, you know, but she used to live there. She's a neighbour. Her name's","and you think I am not beautiful, do you? Because I haven't a bit of beauty in me. And you don't like me. You don't like my hair and my eyes are not","now I think it would be a very good thing if there were some sort of a council of the people. I think it is very necessary. ...I am very glad to be in","oh dear! oh dear! I wish I had been at home. I wish I hadn't come. I wish that he was married. I wish he wasn't here, I wish he was gone","and he would come back in and find me and say 'where have you been all day?' and I'd tell him that I'd been sitting on the back of his car and he'd la","that's it, I've got it now. I'll go to the garage tomorrow and buy a set of tires and I'll go up to the store for some paint and I'll paint the wheels","I wonder what the boys will do to the car today, it is going to be a long day. I wonder where all my money went to. I have to find it and put it back ","I can see him at the bottom of a swimming pool...I can see his eyes on me and he's smiling at me...he's going to ask me to go swimming with him and I ","I had a little box that had a picture in it. It was a picture of the dog and a cat and a duck. They were all on top of a box. I don't know if","[the cat] was playing with a rubber toy. He was on his back and the toy was coming to get him. And he jumped up. I went down and got it and he got the","it's a great book. A lot of stuff in it. I like it. It's called A Book of Memory. And it's a book about. It's a book of a girl's","you don't see a picture in your head. You can't see anything. It's like you're blind. But you know, you know, I had a cat when I was a little girl","the song that's on in my head is the song from the old film, the old, old film, oh, The Muppet Movie, and it's The Monster's Song. It says,","And they're saying in the paper that if they don't get the money from the big companies, the game's over. ... And the kids are saying, 'You're suppose","and he's so cute in the pictures. The one on the front cover. You know the one where he's just like, standing there, with the hat and all, you know? .","a nice, little, white, baby, just sitting in his...on his...on the ground. On the ground...a little white, baby...a little, white...little, white,","uh, uh, no, no, uh, uh. Uh. Uh uh. Uh, uh, i can't find them. Oh, oh, yes, this one. No, no,","... the car... ... the car. . . the car. Oh, the car. What did I mean by the car? The car! I saw the car! Oh, the dog, the","I wish I had a new car. I'd like to go to the races. Oh, I wish I had 50 dollars. That'd be fun. I'd go to the park.","I am going to give you the answers. And if you are right, you are going to win a little bit of money, and I am going to ask you a question. I am going","I remember I've done this before. And it was a good thing I did because I just went up and got that pencil and it was in my hand and then I went out i","you are supposed to write the first three letters, and I'm going to write the other three. I'll try to think of one for each word. OK, now the other o","it's like we were here when he was little. Then he's going to school and it's a big school and it was the only school in the neighborhood. There's a b","I'm gonna be a nurse, I think, because they take care of you when you're sick, and I want to be a doctor because I'm going to be a surgeon and I want ","there was a girl, her name was Kathy, and she had red hair, and a white dress... I got her and her sister and they were playing... oh I know, I know h","[H]ey! Look at the big black clouds! I love black clouds. They're so beautiful, aren't they? I like them when they're big and black and dark, but some","so you can't believe a word that he says. he says that his name is just like his name. like his name is like his name, like his name's like his name. ","I'm going to bed. I've got to sleep for a bit. Oh, and I'm going to have a tea and some sandwiches for dinner. I wonder what I'll have for tea.","I'm thinking of a very funny joke...I was listening to the radio one day, and there was a man in the music band and he sang, 'I'm going to get a wife,","and they say, 'Oh, well, you'll get used to it.' No, they wouldn't, they say, that it's not that big. They say it's not far. Then","it's the sort of thing you'd do when you were little, like when you had your hair in a ponytail and you put a handkerchief in it. Then you'd stick a c","and now I'm thinking of a story I used to tell, the one where the little boy comes home from school with his shoes and his socks and a little box and ","and we have an Indian boy in the class, and he says, `I don't know my ABCs.' I just have to laugh. He's funny. And he says, and he puts","we've got to find a place where there is a lot of space. It'd be good if we could find a place with a big roof. There wouldn't be any more trees in th","I've got to go see my Uncle Richard. He's been away so long. I'm going to have to take the bus. Oh, I'm going to see my cousin George and the little","And you can't make a man a millionaire and keep him from doing as he wants to. I said, 'Why do you think so? He'd have to be a thief or something, wou","And this was the other day, as I was out walking, and I thought that it might be a good thing if I would write down the names of all the people I knew","and that's it, that's the whole story! He didn't have a gun at all, not a gun at all! But he did have a revolver! He did have a little revolver.","and then he took his hand off the back of my seat and just went right through me, right through me and it just, just disappeared and I looked down at ","that I've got a message for my friend, Miss Dull, who's the girl who's in the blue dress and she's going away with the boy with the brown hair that's ","and she was sitting in the chair...and she had her arms folded...and she looked...a little bit like a soldier. She looked a little bit like one of our","I'd like to go to the theater. I'm going to the theater on Saturday. I don't think I'm going back to bed. I'd rather go to the opera. I haven't","oh, I like this song, it's a big song, it's an awful big song...no, it's not awful, it's lovely. And now he's got this thing in his","And the other day, in a newspaper, I read about a woman who was just as tall as me. It was quite funny. But the lady wasn't tall, she was just big, as","[I]magine that there was a man who was a hunter, and he was hunting a fox. And he was so close, he was only ten feet away. And he grabbed his bow","this is the only place that I've ever been that had a place where the people can sit and talk... and the people, the people are real friendly... it's ","and then they're all standing around and they're all holding their hands up in the air... they're all singing... singing and they're looking at the mo","and he's gonna say, 'Well, I don't know how many there is but, they all have them.' And, that's what he said to me, and, I said, '","I'd love to have one just like this, that'd be nice, a real nice thing to do, a really nice thing to have. A nice thing to wear, you know, you're","and I think if it's the same as a little girl would think of, I might be right, might be wrong... I think it's the first one. Oh, that's it! I","I've been thinking about the time we were on a riverboat... and I was holding... my son's hand... and my husband was right beside him. And my son said","oh, my goodness. I've got to find my mother-in-law's coat. She's been trying to get me to get her coat. And I've got this big, big, big thing","I'm not going to have to be so careful now. We were talking about a wedding last night, wasn't we? I thought you were going to be the bride. Well, I g","and then when the woman saw me she said 'I told you so.' She said 'I knew it.' ...It made me mad at her, too. I went up and knocked on the door","I remember one day... one summer morning. I got up at six-thirty. I think it was seven. I think I went out to the chicken house and got the eggs. And ","well, I guess I could always take the road to the creek and just go up the creek until I got to the turnoff. I could always go that way and stop and b","and he was sitting there. I couldn't see his face. He was sitting there in the doorway. I heard the wind blowing through the trees. The leaves were ru","I'll call 'em Mr. and Mrs. Squire. Why didn't I think of that. Oh, dear! Oh, dear, how I wish I could see you, now. I","and you get right out of the way and I don't know, it's going to be dark. Well, what are you going to do? I'm going to go to the store and get","what's the matter? What's the matter?...why didn't you come to see me, Ollie?...I wish I hadn't gone away to New York. Oh, if I","I've always been afraid of them. I don't know why. They come up and sit on the porch and I run up and get my mama and mama comes out and I'll cry and ","I remember this time I got the first letter from my dad. It was a long letter. And I went to the big bathroom and read it. It was on a sheet of paper.","I guess I should have left the car at the store and come by later when it was dark. Oh, no, I can't go out in the rain and I know I'd get into trouble","well, I'll just get out of my pyjamas. Well, I'm not going to eat anything for lunch today. I won't be able to find any lunch, anyway, and I","and a big man with a beard and a black suit. He came and went and came and went. He always comes in and he always comes out. He comes in and out. I go","I'm going to have a bath. I'm going to put on my bathrobe and go down to the bath. I wonder if they'll have any new books for me today. Oh, I","well, the train is coming along. Yes, I had a terrible time of it. I had to get out of my bed when my mother called me to wash my hands. I washed my h","I've got some more tea, but I'll make you a cup. I don't know when I shall go back, I don't know. I'm not sure what I'm going to do","now that's an idea. If I could have some money I could buy some of those things. I could get me one of them. Oh, what's that? Ah, here it is.","and then the train stopped. But I had not got my watch. It was on the table. I went and looked for it. There it was on the left. Then I thought it was","I'm just sitting here waiting to go to sleep. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I wish I could go to bed. I want to go to bed now. It's a long","now I'm going to try and think of something to write, and I can't think of anything. I wonder if I can go out. It's nearly eleven o'clock. No, I can","oh, I should write to Mabel. I'd better do it now. [pauses, thinking] I know Mabel won't mind, I'll give her my card. I'm sure","I've got a present to send to my sister... I'll get it later... I'm going to bed... I've got to call the bank... Oh no... I've forgotten my money...","the most wonderful day of your life, you were so beautiful. It was so romantic, I thought I'd never forget you. We went out to lunch and the waiter br","I can't think what you mean. It must be some kind of a joke, but it isn't funny. Oh, I see. It's the kind of a joke that you don't know","and I suppose she never saw me in all the years she lived. I suppose she thinks I'm dead. If she's a clever girl, she'll never find the right man to m","well, I'm not in the habit of wearing a veil or anything. But I should have thought of it. I wonder why I didn't. It was rather awkward, but the man's","and I've got to remember to buy it. But what is the use of it? It won't do you any good. Why not let the baby play with it? And that will teach him","I'm very fond of my dogs, I do. I think they're nice pets. I've got a little spaniel and a little white terrier, and one of them's got a bit","I always forget what I'm going to say; I never seem to think of anything. I'd like to know what you were going to say to me. What was it you were goin","I am making a big mistake. I'm going to be so ashamed of myself. I'll never forgive myself. I'd be better off having left. But then I wouldn't have th","And he was crying and saying to his mother, 'I'm tired, I'm tired.' She said, 'Come here and get a kiss.' He put his hand on the door and went out","I've got to go in and look after the sheep. If I go out, they'll be all killed. They've been lying in the river all night and there's so much snow. Th","oh, yes, that's a very good idea. I think I'll just do it. I mustn't forget it. I don't want to miss it. Yes, I must be careful","I'm going to give a demonstration. You'll all know how I'll begin it. It's only the end that I haven't thought of yet. It's so easy; just stand up.","'We'll take the bus, Mr. Jones.' 'Right, you'll go down to the bus-stop, and you'll stand there until you see the bus. And you'll walk straight away","I saw them sitting round a table in a room which I don't know, but I know they are all sitting round the table and there's a big clock with hands goin","and that's all there is. It was nice being there with the children, the children were lovely. I think they had a good time. They weren't afraid of me.","the little red-haired girl, I don't know who she is, or where she is, I saw her in the street yesterday. I always think of her when I see a little red","oh, I remember that I'm looking through the window, and I think I'll go up the road and have a look at the birds on the tree. And then I'm thinking ab","and I'm going to send my auntie a present. I don't know what she likes best. I'll put her in a nice pink coat, and she'll say 'Oh, dear,","I think I'd like to go to the cinema with you. I don't mind sitting by the window, I suppose, and I like you quite well. I wonder whether there is a p","And there was a big red balloon with a bow tied on top. There was a boy in a white smock with red shoes and a red cap. The boy was holding a little bl","the little girl with the red hat. Yes, and her face was like a butterfly's. Oh, dear, the little girl with a red hat and a butterfly's face. She's not","you don't know what it's like not to have a house. Well, I don't like it. And I'm going to go away and I'm going to see the Queen, and I"],["I mean, you know, like you could be a doctor, but you could be an attorney, or, you know... you could be, like... well, like I say, if you like","[S]o that's one way to deal with it, so you don't have to deal with the other, and that's really what's going on in a lot of these cases. But","and I was just thinking about the new year, you know, and how the new year is going to start and I'm kind of worried about how my career's going to go","and they've been kind of stuck with some of the stuff that they're trying to do, trying to get it back online and then the other thing that has been k","and that's it. Okay, let's see, it's time for lunch now. I mean, we've been at this for over five hours. I mean it's just been so much fun","and then I was thinking that this is kind of funny, because I am actually thinking of you when I am talking to myself, so... so maybe there is a littl","And you think, well, it's an old-fashioned movie, you know? They've got, like, this, I dunno, I just don't know what I'm talking about right now","and there's something I've wanted to ask you, like, because I know you're thinking about it, because you just said you were thinking about the compute","you know, I think of people who are dying and that makes me a little bit nervous. I have a friend that died and it made me a little sad. So, it makes ","it's a little like the movies. There's the action and then the commercials and then the action. You see, in the movies, there's a lot of things that g","And I am... I am... (pauses) I don't know what I am. I have no idea. I don't feel like I'm being myself. Like I'm just, you","the truth is, you just have to be happy with the things you have. It's easier said than done, but I think that if we could really just stop thinking a","and it's like, if I'm like, going to be a mom and all, I should have been a better mother to my older sister, because she died and I know that's on my","and I think that if you were to look at it in another way, you would realize that it's the same thing, and the same person would be happy to see you, ","the entire experience of waking up. The way the room feels when I wake up, the smell of the coffee, the way the lights are, the way I feel on my bed, ","there's always a new day. Sometimes it's better than the last day, sometimes it's worse. I have to be okay with either, and if it's worse, then I know","and I'm going to get a job after I graduate. I want to get a job. I want something that will support me. I need money. I can't survive on my mom's mon","the next morning I woke up at 8:15am, had a shower, dressed, and ate breakfast. I have to start a new book and get out of bed because my body feels","I think my dad and my mom would get married again if they could. I don't think I would want to be with a single mom. I don't want to have a mom who is","[in the past, I thought] I would never be married...and I wouldn't ever have kids...[but now] I have a boyfriend, and we're thinking of having a baby.","[The] kid I have in the middle school is the most amazing girl that I ever have met, and I don't think it will ever go away, not for a long time...And","I had to give him a couple of shots of liquor. And I was like, you know, I was a little nervous because I didn't know if he'd really have it. And I re","[my husband's] the one that made me start looking for a job. He had been laid off, so he had to start working again, too. I've always worked, and I re","I wonder if it's the fact that I'm not an immigrant or a refugee, and I haven't been to any other country. It's like a great blank. I didn't grow up i","we are here because I was like, I don't have a boyfriend. I'm in my 20s and I don't even have a boyfriend like, and it's like, 'Why","it's just so crazy, I'm like, I don't know how to think about it and I don't want to be alone, but I think I want to be on my own. Like","And then I think, 'Oh, that was a really nice place.' I'm like, 'I should go back. I should probably go back to that place. And it's funny, because","I just feel really lucky to be living in a world where I can go out and be myself, and be me. It's really nice. I'm not always sure of who I am. I","so much time is spent talking about the future...I never really plan to have another baby. I never thought that would happen. I think I had a few misc","I don't know why it happened. I guess it was a very unexpected thing. Like, it was very unexpected for me. Like, I didn't really expect it to happen. ","and that's when I think about it, I'm like, well, you know, I'm glad you got that done. And then I just, like, moved on. I guess. I","you know, I feel like I've been doing a lot of talking and I kind of feel like I need to catch up. And I feel like my life's a mess, you know, and","[The] fact that I'm here right now, it's a nice feeling. It's almost like I'm kind of taking time for myself, but then it's also weird because I don't","and then I have like this, like this, I don't know, I'm like, oh I'm just thinking about all these things that happen, but it's like, I'm not sure","[The participant is describing] a really big thing that happened at work, and it's kind of crazy, like, my boss just emailed me like, hey, we're doing","yeah, I don't want to do this...I don't even know why I'm doing this...I'm doing it to, like, save money, or something? Or, like, to","[I have] got a [to do list] that I've been trying to do for weeks, and [I] haven't gotten around to it. But I think I'm going to just","I'm actually trying to get over this whole idea of 'I'm not good enough'...I mean, I feel like I'm not really good at anything, and I just want to jus","like a lot of people I kind of get overwhelmed when Iโ€™m with my friends because thereโ€™s always this, like, I have to keep up with them and I have to, ","I don't have any kids yet, which is kind of good and kind of bad. I think I like kids, but I'm not sure how I feel about having one. I mean, I","I know the other girl, she's like the opposite of me. I can be pretty much anything, and I like to be whatever, but she's more like a conservative per","I guess you could say weโ€™re both like that. Weโ€™re both a little bit neurotic. But in a good way. I mean, I think itโ€™s healthy to be neurotic sometimes","I am on an island, there are a bunch of people on it, and there is a really nice little town with a bunch of little cafes. And they are all like, you ","like there's a bunch of people that are just like me. I think that there's some people that are like me because they like that kind of vibe like if we","I'm a little bit worried about the amount of money I'm going to have to spend this year because of the fact that I'm still like unemployed. I'm not re","I donโ€™t think I could do anything. Iโ€™m so bad at this, Iโ€™m just gonna be like, Iโ€™m gonna keep doing this. But then you just get to the point where you","this is the thing, it's the way of thinking that we have, we have a lot of people and then we think that if we have more people we're gonna be better,","I have some dreams, I have a lot of dreams, and some of them are pretty scary and some of them aren't. Like, I have this dream where I'm like, I'm goi","like I was going to make a song and have it be like a song about something really meaningful. So like I was like thinking about my life like Iโ€™m reall","Iโ€™m really upset that I canโ€™t eat my meat...I canโ€™t even drink my...itโ€™s not because itโ€™s unhealthy, itโ€™s because my body just doesnโ€™t want to. Like I","you can't just be like 'okay, I'm just gonna make an image and do the whole thing and go from there' because that's not really what I wanted to do. I ","just talking about stuff right now, but then like I know I'm going to have to like start playing guitar, and I know that's going to be a lot of fun. I","[talking about being with other people] i'm pretty sure i want to be with a lot of people. But it's a lot easier for me to be with people i like. I th","I wonder if she likes me. I mean like that... I'm not going to do anything with her, she's probably already dating. I just want to see her. I'm really","like it was just a day I was at the zoo, like a normal day, and then I was like, okay, now I'm gonna eat food. I was like this is gonna be a","And then I was like, okay, I have to be honest, I'm actually like a little bit sad that I'm here. I don't know. I don't even really know why.","and so we're at 6:22. I think it's a really good time to say good night to everyone. I hope you all had a great year. I hope everybody had a","it's nice to get to do this, I really enjoyed it. I did it with a friend last night, it was fun. So I had to tell you I did it. I thought I","[a]ll of these conversations, they were just really good for like, [like] me being able to connect with people, but they also made me realize like I w","I have a plan that I have been thinking of, that is I would like to make some of my old, worn out shoes that I have, I just want to make it into a lit","you know what? I don't really understand the question. I was like, okay, so this is the idea that, like, if you were to live in an alternate universe,","it's a new thing for me to be sitting here and trying to talk to my boyfriend. Like he's not a part of my life anymore and I've never been out with hi","and like you know, it's kind of funny. It's funny that you asked that question because it's like, I'm not even sure how that I know that I'm a man but","it's like...it's like what was like to be like, like, like a kid. Like, I didn't, I didn't have to have a like a, I didn't really","I don't like people... I just don't like them. Like a lot of people in my age group, I don't really like people. I don't like other people. I just don","I'm in a car, the car is driving really slowly and I don't want to stop so I don't have to stop but then it's like if I get out I'm gonna get in","and I've never been there, but I imagine it would be like a very nice, very good hotel. It's a nice, it's a really nice hotel in like an amusement par","I have to go to a concert in a week and I'm planning to go to this one place where there's a lot of like, people and a lot of fun. So, it's like","okay so I have a dream that I don't want to talk about and that's kind of a weird dream that I have where I'm like in the bathroom and I'm washing my ","I think this is my favourite type of thing to think about, the music is amazing, the vocals are amazing, the lyrics are amazing. I think it's definite","you have to think of it like it's a song or something like that. So just think of the words coming out and it's like a song you're singing to yourself","I am thinking about my day. I woke up at 9:30 in the morning. It was a little bit late for me but I was fine because I was laying on my stomach and","okay i guess i'll see you later tonight maybe? no, i'm not going to bed. I'm going to stay up with you. I'll do that. I'm not going to watch","a tree in the backyard, it's a maple tree, I don't know if it's the right time, but the leaves are starting to change. It's just like the leaves are l","and i know you guys are all working on your papers, so i hope they go well and that you guys can write good ones and and not just kind of get caught u","and it's a kind of a sad kind of story because like they said it's like it's not like it's like what I don't know if they're like the like the same on","I'm doing this project. So it's about a 40-something guy who's been married for like 13 years, I don't know. And so he's trying to get","I like my parents. They're still around. We got divorced. And I know it's gonna be hard but I'm gonna get through it. I'm gonna be fine. I'm not going","so I don't feel so bad, right? That's what I feel like, right? I feel like I'm just, I don't know, like I'm overthinking things a lot,","it's a little bit overwhelming because there's so much going on and I mean, you know, I think this is like, you know what it is, it's just, I think it","it's a nice song...you can listen to it on Spotify. It's...I can't remember the artist, but it's just a nice, relaxing song. I can imagine it being pl","I remember the first time I got a puppy. I was like 4 and I just had a puppy that was a chocolate Lab. He was like, he was like my best friend ever an","yeah it's really weird I just realized that you know my daughter I have a son and a daughter and they're like one year apart and my daughter is just l","And I can see this movie right now in my head. I think I want to be a teacher, but I don't think I will. I'll be a teacher and I'll be the teacher","I think the best thing is to just stay here and do this. I want to talk to my mom and let her know I'm fine. I'm so tired and so sad. I want this","And then I think, I'm like, this is what I really want. I'm just like, I'm not going to do it. I'm like... I think I'm going to...","and I'm not sure if they were... I mean if they were going to have a baby... and... oh my god... I'm so excited. I'm so happy. I'm happy that","I'm so sorry my friend I'm so sorry. I know what you're going through right now and I don't know how you're going to get through it and I don't want y","I was gonna be like, hey, I'm just gonna text them. Like, I'm gonna tell them I'm sorry that I'm not doing anything today because I'm having a hard ti","I've been thinking about when I was younger and my dad passed away, and I think that's how my mom always saw me, like when I'm little and I'm crying, ","it's a funny thing because I think the way I handle stress is really the opposite of how most people I know handle stress. So I think I'm going to be ","I have always been this way... I know I will die soon but itโ€™s so hard to accept because I know whatโ€™s coming. I know it will be hard. My grandma and ","and then he, like, just like, you know, like he's, like, you're like, just really you know, you know you're like trying to save your son, like,","I'm just sitting here and I just like... I can't just sit here and just do nothing, I just... I just need to feel something and I don't. I just... jus","I don't know. I've never really liked her. I think she's kind of weird and I think it was a really bad idea of hers, you know, she was like, 'Oh","and then i have like a little kid sister and she's like, you know, she was always the little, like, little sister and, so she was always like, she was","I think I'm gonna be in my new job for a long time, and that's fine...I don't like that my job is...I'm gonna be an assistant to an older person and","it's not that bad. I think I have a good sense of self now and I know when I'm being too hard on myself, and I've gotten to the point where I'm more o","I was watching my dog, who was really in pain and crying and just kind of curling up and like she was on the floor and I was just like, oh my god, I w","like, uh, I'm like, I'm just like, like I said, I'm not really talking to him because I'm trying to get to know him a little bit more, and like","I just saw like a very tiny little thing, and it was just like a little dot, like a spark in my peripheral vision. It was like, I donโ€™t know, it was a","I'm really just looking for a place to get some ice cream or something to just kind of unwind, because I'm so stressed out with the job right now, lik","I'm going to... I'm gonna get the green bottle to the top... and then I'm gonna put the red on. Like I said, I'm just gonna put it on the back of","I mean, I don't know, you know, it's it's like, you're just in the moment, and you're like, hey, you know what, I'm like, hey","oh my god, I'm so in love with you. Like, I think I'm so crazy in love with him and he's not even going out with anyone else, he's just like,","I was looking at this person and like, okay. So this person is kind of weird but I donโ€™t know what's weird about them but like Iโ€™m not into it but lik","like what? It's like we don't know what it is we're looking for but we're like, okay, I think it's like a combination of like the beginning and the mi","[I'm] like, what do you think I should wear? [I want to] wear the pants and the cardigan and the shoes, and then the sweater that you know, that you","I feel like my brain is running wild. Like I have these ideas coming at me so fast. I'm like, 'What was that? Oh, that's not even real.' I just have","this is me I'm feeling like I'm doing all the right things but like I'm not being genuine. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, I don't even know w","[t]he point is I think this is the only way it can be done. And I think we just need to keep working on it, and maybe I'm overthinking it, but like","like it's a good idea. Maybe I should just say no and call it a day. Maybe. What is this for? What is this supposed to accomplish? What's the point? I","you know that they can't...you know that you're gonna get the same thing as I have, but you can get it out faster. If I start thinking, I just sit the","I have an idea, a very bad idea, if I had to say what would happen if I took a big bath in a tub of molten lead. I would feel like, like, I","[sigh] so I just sit here with no energy. [sigh]. It's so...[sigh] [pause] just sit here and nothing. I just want to have fun","I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna lie down. I'm not really thinking about anything. I'm just going to rest my eyes. I'm going to sleep. I'm so tired","this is the day I'm thinking about my friend. I'm thinking what's she like. She's got a cute accent. I'm also thinking about what my friend's doing ri","you know, I've been thinking about something, I can't decide if I should have a dream, but then again, I might just feel like a dream for like, what's","I think I'm going to get up from the couch. Yeah, I think I'm getting up from the chair. I'm going out. I'm gonna get out of here. I'm getting","like a jigsaw puzzle that's been put together but no one can put the last piece on it. But you have a couple of the pieces and then like you're just t","so it's a... it's a huge... I feel like I'm being judged by people for no reason. I think... I think I'm just a lot... a lot more emotional than I","you know, I'm getting tired of this whole thing. I'm not sure I can do this anymore. Like I'm just... I don't know, I feel like I'm running out of","what is happening is that my brain is like a giant cloud, and everything thatโ€™s going through my mind is like little drops of rain falling down. And t","I'm trying to figure out... what if... what if I had a really bad day? Like, like if I had to go to work and my day was just so... just so... u","[19:38] I wonder if there are people out there that have feelings of anger and hatred or something like that, and maybe they're not able to express th","I want to finish reading my book, but I don't know how to start again. I have so many unfinished thoughts and ideas in my head that I feel like I'm dr","I was trying to write down what I was thinking... I don't know how to describe it... It's a feeling... Like a warm blanket... It's comforting... I fee","I'm feeling tired, like my brain is a little foggy...I was just thinking about how my friend [friend's name] asked me if I wanted to go on a hike, and","and I think I'm going to need another cup of coffee. I've been feeling a bit groggy since yesterday, so I figured I could help me stay awake and focus","I was in my mom's apartment and I was just talking to my mom about what I was going to do for the weekend. She said I could stay here and hang out wit","[I'm] working on [a] script... [I]magine if [someone] were to [call] and [offer] to [do] something like that. I've been","I have been thinking about, um... uh, I think I'm going to start doing a lot of exercise again. I haven't been doing it recently because I haven't had","I'm doing my reading this evening. I have a bunch of stuff to read, I'm gonna listen to some music. It's gonna be like... I'm gonna be doing my readin","i'm trying to figure out, is this going to work, you know, is this, how do i get this to work? I'm trying to think of a way to get rid of this","I know that I have to talk to my mom about this because I don't know what to do, but I also don't want to cause a scene, so I'll probably just leave a","I'm in the car. And I'm listening to music, and I'm listening, and I keep thinking, what's gonna happen on this ride? I feel like there's just, like,","this is kind of like a meditation thing, but you don't really need to be meditating, or you're not necessarily trying to be meditative, which is like ","I'm trying to figure out the difference between being in the office and being at home. I think it has a lot to do with the environment. Like, when I'm","Iโ€™m thinking about my mom, like, sheโ€™s not here, Iโ€™m not gonna see her. Sheโ€™s gone. I feel a little sad for myself that sheโ€™s not around anymore. She","like that, it's like if it's like a bit more in this, but then you're like, but then it's like you're thinking about how much you've done, like, how","I'm at the gym. I'm gonna do a plank. I'm also gonna go do some sit-ups. I'm working out. It's been a while since I've been working out.","the kids are getting ready. I don't want to go home right away. I'm gonna try and get an hour of sleep in there before I go home. I'm just gonna relax","and my dad had a day off last week and he took the kids to Disney World so the day after, it was like, he went, and they went back home. So, I was lik","and you have like a real big... like a big white fluffy one... you have like this big fluffy one in your yard and you're like, oh my gosh, you're gonn","just finished, a short, I'm a little bit nervous. It's, it's not a very long thing. I think it's gonna be alright. Um, I'm nervous because I'm","And I think I want to go to a park and see the squirrels, and just kind of, just kind of relax and let the kids and the dog and the cat all be togethe","like some of you guys, you know, it's like I'm always like, oh, I gotta eat, but I don't eat because I don't have the money. But like, I","And my dog. We just adopted him. And it was really tough. The first time you meet him, it's like you're meeting a stranger, right? And you don't know ","itโ€™s kind of hard for me because my dog is a dog and heโ€™s kind of a weird dog. And heโ€™s a mix of different breeds, and I think heโ€™s a little bit of","the sun is burning bright...I have a burning sensation in my legs, but I'm feeling fine...I have this burning sensation in my chest...my mom, I'm thin","I wonder what it's like to be a star in the sky. I don't think that's what I mean, but I've thought of that, too. The idea of being a star in","I was trying to see the way my thought flows, and I notice that I have no control over it. I know that I want to control it, but that doesn't do the t","now I am having a dream and it's about the nature of time and space. I can see a tunnel with light at both ends, the tunnel is closed from one end to ","I don't know why it's so quiet. I don't feel anything, but I'm not asleep. I'm not dreaming. I can't control my thought flow. I'm just watching it","the light in the center of the room was changing, and I was watching it. I was watching the light, which was moving in the center of my vision. I was ","And I'm just going to take this in, as it's happening, so that I can make this an open flow of energy. It's like a stream of light, as I look inside m","you know, it's kind of a funny thing, you know. When you think, like, I know that I'm thinking, and I know that this is something that's occurring in ","(I'm looking at my hands and I can see that I have this feeling that it is not enough, that my mind is too empty for my body, that I can feel this emp","the experience of a moment is so beautiful that it becomes a thought... in the present moment, we don't want to experience something more than this on","I remember the moment I realized that I was living in my body. This was something I experienced a couple of days after I had fallen off a ladder and h","I can see the moment as I see it. The image of a thought, a moment. I am aware of a particular moment, an image of a moment. It's not a concept; it","and then I thought that the actual flow of the mind is so different from what we usually imagine, that it's not a flow of ideas or information, but a ","now that's it...now it is here...now we are seeing what it is that we see as a form, a shape, a particular shape that is different from the shape of t","this is the way I see you, and the way I know you, in a particular moment. What is this moment? I am asking myself. The answer is this: that moment is","and now I have a thought: this is very interesting: I was trying to recall something I'd read in my 200 year old dictionary which has been around sinc","and you're looking at the face, and then there's a sudden flash of insight and it's the same as before but now you're aware that there's a difference ","I have some problems with the body. In the left hand, in the index finger, there is some pain. This pain, of course, is not at the same time, but in t","I feel my consciousness like a living being that is in contact with the environment. It is in contact, in touch with the environment, and also with th","what are they for? ...that's something I don't understand. It is my body, it is my body that is reacting... ...I don't know. This is like a machine or","the possibility that, perhaps, one is a part of a larger whole. For instance, if we, for example, are all parts of the same thing, the same cosmic who","I'm going to do a visualization. I'm going to visualize the visual experience of an individual. I'm not going to use any sensory input from the physic","we have this, we're doing this, and then we have this, and now this is what we're doing, and we have a picture of that, and now we're doing it and tha","the relationship between the mind and the body, and the mind and space, and the relationship between space and the mind, and the nature of the mind, t","I am going to think of myself as a spider. I am a spider, a spider web, a web of connections of other people. I'm a part of a larger whole. And this i","I'm talking about a movie that was produced, and I'm not sure it was in the movies. I'm sure it was a film, though, or maybe it was a book, that I","and so then I'm going to have to make the same decisions again, but in a different context, which is a different level, but the same kind of level, wh","in my mind's eye I could see myself as a fish. I would be in water, in an ocean. I would look around, I would look up, and I would see that I was","a light that I see, this light comes from the centre of my body. It is a light of energy. It is also a light of information. It is energy information.","I'm watching a little movie, as if I'm watching my own mind. I'm looking at my brain from the outside. I'm observing the process of my consciousness. ","And I thought of a house, and it was a beautiful house and I felt its beauty. And it had a beautiful dome, and I looked at it and it looked to me like","I don't know. I don't know what the word is. I don't have any ideas about it. I can feel the words coming, I can feel them. I can't express them","there is a piece of matter, I don't know what it is. It is a piece of consciousness, and it is not a piece of consciousness because it is not consciou","I am a very important being. I am a being which is very important. I am not a man. I am the universe. The universe is what it is. I am its being. I","the experience of consciousness...has a quality of being directly known, that is, the quality of being aware of itself, is what is known directly and ","a star. Yes, that is it. A star. A star, yes, that is the essence. There is the light that is not yet reflected. There is a star which is light withou","I am a man. I am a human being. I am part of the world. I am in the middle of the world, of the earth, of the cosmos, of the universe, of","there are a lot of things going on at the same time in a conscious experience, and this is really hard to describe. And what you're doing is that you'","you know, the way that it is when I think of you... and I have the idea of the past that I have as a present, you know. It's as if it's as if","we're the way we are; we can't be anything else. We're not in the same dimension as the universe, as it is, because we can't even imagine that. If we'","The field of perception, the field of awareness, the field that we are aware of, is not itself aware. If you are aware of something, it must be someth","and that was the idea, that was the thing. But it's so simple. And so, in order to make it work, you need to have a device that can produce that kind ","I can see the outside of a room and I can see some furniture inside. And the furniture is just a shadowy silhouette. And it's just a silhouette. I'm n","I'm here... I'm here... Oh, my God, I'm here. And it's so dark... It's so dark, and I can see nothing. Nothing. I can see nothing","a group of people and we are looking at their brain patterns and there are two types, or three types, of brain patterns that come out of this group, a","a little voice, or a voice, or perhaps something like that, would be very important in this experiment, because we are talking about a state of consci","[s]eeing the sun, it is interesting to notice that the sun is a little different every time you look at it, but yet, it is the same. There is the sun,","the two dots, which are the only information that we know in this example, are the only information we know in the experiment, that we could use to de","I have been thinking a little about my past, my childhood. My father and I have a lot of differences, he was a very kind man, but he was a person of a","I know what it's like, you know, to be in that position, and to feel the pain, and to have to take the step. If you look at it like that, it's","so my experience of it is that the human being, the individual, is always already the unity of both. And we are the unity of body and spirit. And it i","[s]eemed like a dream. ... The [words] that you're going to use, how much are they going to affect me? ... What do you think the [words] are","I think about the self and how the self is experienced as an entity, an individual, as a unity, or whatever one prefers to call it, but this is what i","we are making a mistake, and that's okay. We are making a mistake and that's an event. But then it is a mistake to judge the mistake, because if you d","I am going to talk about the difference between a mind and a brain. That's why I say there's a brain in each individual brain. I have an internal brai","and now I feel very very lonely and sad. I don't have any real friends. I feel like I'm like a bird without wings. I'm stuck in a cage. I'm in my","I am the child of my father's imagination. I am my father's creation, and therefore I am the projection of his unconscious, the child of his mind, the","and so you are just here. So you're a little like a wave, because you're just going to the next thought, just the next thought. So you are just going ","it's like there is a way in which you could, could, you could, if you had a really, really big screen, or, you know, if you could, you know... you","and then you're sitting and you're looking and you're going, 'wow', and then you don't want to come back to that again. So you leave it, and you look ","It's a very funny thing about this body. The body's so massive, you know, and yet I think if it were any bigger, it would be unbearable. You can't hav","you know, we were talking about the body, we were trying to understand the body, how to relate to the body. And there are so many ways to relate to it","what I'm doing right now, it's a sort of mental experiment, I'm trying to find out, like what is it that I do in order to experience reality? And it's","I see this tiny little dot of a thing here that's in the middle of my brain. It's a thing, I could see a little thing. The thing is in the middle. The","I'm feeling this, and the feeling is there... But it is not the feeling. There is a feeling, but it is not it. I am not it... but it is a part of","you're sitting down and your eyes are closed and you're thinking 'you're thinking.' Then you can't think, but you can say you're thinking. You're thin","I can feel my own hand, and I am also thinking, and I can feel the warmth of my hand, and it's going up, it's going down, I'm aware of that.","I see an empty room. I feel in it. I see a floor, and the walls are empty. I'm inside and I see an empty floor. I can't see the room. I","I have a sensation in my mouth ... that I don't have a mouth, but it's just a sensation of being a mouth. There is no mouth. It's just that, but I can","I have to be in the body of a man. If I'm not in a body then I can't be in a world. I am in the world. I have to have a body.","and I'm seeing them in front of me, they're moving, but it's not really real, it's a movement. It's the image of the body, I think, and the image","there's no one, you know, you could be standing in a room and someone else is in it and it's like it's one mind. And I'm in here and it's one space","I can hear... this is a room of pure light. ... The room is pulsating with energy. It's a place that is full of movement. The light is so intense that","this is the mind. I am aware of this. It is a stream, flowing and changing, moving, the movement of mind. And yet, it is not this mind, but rather the","and I have to get out of here. And I can't. I have to...I can't do that. I have... I can't do it. It is not possible. I cannot","the circle that we're in, we're inside a circle, we're part of it, but we're not part of it. We're in it. We can't touch it. We are","and this is the idea of a circle, I'm really exploring. So this is the circle, and now there's the question of its center, and this is the question of","this is the core of consciousness. That's the big picture. The core of consciousness is the field, the space. It's all around us. It's the space of ou","there is some part of me which is aware of what you are doing. There is a part of me that has a connection, a channel that goes from here to your brai","I'm a girl. I'm a little girl. I'm not a little girl, I'm a woman. I'm an adult. I'm the adult. And I'm a man. I","the trees of the forest, they are beautiful, they are magnificent. They are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in this whole world. They are so","I see all those women who are being tortured and I want to save them, to bring them to peace. I want to bring peace to all those women. I want it to b","I am not just the individual that I have become because of my experiences, my thoughts and emotions and my personality, I am not that individual; I am","I have a very interesting feeling inside, a deep feeling. It comes and goes, and I'm aware that it's coming from a very deep place inside me. I'm not ","I don't know what is going on here, but I know that I have a lot of awareness now. I have this awareness, that I am aware of being aware of everything","and suddenly there's a dark shape out of which the mind is emerging, and I don't know where it's coming from, because it's not a solid thing, but it's","the two words 'the' and 'is' are almost identical, except in 'the', the last part is in an active mode, in 'is', the last letter is in a passive mode","the thought of you ... a little bit ... it seems to come ... into the space of the room. There it is. That is you. A little bit. Now that it is here, ","there is nothing there but there is something here. That's the difference. So that is a boundary and it's the boundary of the physical world. And here","I have to learn how to control my thoughts. I am now seeing what it is to be free from thought. I see myself as a space, a void. A void with a limit, ","what is there that is beyond thought? Is there such a thing, as in the dream, as in music, as in meditation? How can one see it? How can it be experie","it's the same as you are. You're part of the same being as it is, and if you can see your being as a unity, you have no trouble with the duality of yo","a whole world, and it's the same thing as the other world, the other side of the same coin. ... a world of time and a world of space. ... The world of","a man on the street, with a paper bag on his head, and with his back to us, he's carrying water in the street, but we can hear him talking to himself.","And I feel very far away from this earth. I feel very distant. I know that I am in the body but I can see the body but it doesn't seem to be in the bo","I know the future, I know that what I am doing is the right thing to do. I know what will happen. I can see it in the present moment and know that thi","[T]his is it, it's the end of it... No, it's not, there's always an end of it. But that's it, this is it. It's not","what am I saying? I am saying that we can't go forward as usual, but we can go forward as the spirit wishes, as the spirit of the Universe wishes. I a","there was a little boy, a little girl and a little dog, and they lived in a little house. The little boy, the little girl and the little dog, were pla","[The narrator] is a man who lives with his father. He is very quiet, but very affectionate. He has a child, a girl, and is in love with her. She is","And I see it. It's the first time. It's a white light. It's like the first day of creation. It's all white, like the day before the earth was created.","I think I see the door of my house. I can see the door as I remember it. I think I can see my house as I remember it too. But the house is not the sam","the one that you made in the morning, when you were dreaming, and then you realized that there was something else, and you woke up. And you have a dre","I thought that maybe I could write my life into a story, I could tell the story of my life. And that is the way I should live, and that is the only wa","I'm watching this person, but I can't see her face, I can just see the lines, the wrinkles of her face, so I don't know who she is, but I feel the","and the next moment, as if to escape from himself, I felt the other man, I felt him. He was in me, he was not in me. It was the same thing; it","you know, in order to be able to remember things, it's necessary to have them there; to be there, like, you know, in the memory. It is, you know. That","it is this: there is a certain light which, in the presence of which, I am the self of light. This light, which I am in the presence, of, is not somet","I can't stop. I have to be conscious and in control. I can't help thinking about this and that. I have a desire, I don't know why. I think the world i","The man is trying to have a vision, trying to be visionary. The man is making his vision tangible, so he can give it to us. He is trying to bring us t","I am here, I am not here, I exist, I do not exist. I am here, and I am there. I am the one and the many. I am not the one,","what was this? Why was it there? I see the face of my own death. The body is dying, and it has a face. This face is the face of the ego. The ego","and he was a real, true god, the god of all the other gods and of all the lesser beings, and all the other powers were his servants. And it was not ne","Now I'll just look at this here and say what I want to say about it. I don't have to think that this is anything. I just am what I am. And the more I","what's this? ... what's this, my mind, this thing, that's inside? What's it doing? Is it here? Is it not? What is it? Why is it doing","And I say: I have no idea. And then I say: Perhaps I can say it is a matter of degree. And then it is said: That would be like a series of steps on","that's exactly it. I know I've had a feeling like that before in this situation, that I've seen that image before. ... But I can't think what it means","and it is there [in the field of experience] that the only thing that we know is the unity of all things, and all that we know, all our knowledge of t","the idea of the divine was not so much the idea of a god, but that of a principle of perfection, the idea of being, of existence. So that there is a p","I don't think I can ever get free of the necessity of being an individual. ... I was born in the beginning of this universe and it is all mine. ... I ","the water of the sea, the water that I saw in my dream, is a symbol that has to do with the Absolute. For all things that are, are a projection of the","and yet in this realm that I am in, the same thing, the same reality, the same universe, the same life, the same death, the same all, is what exists. ","and if we are going to be able to control our thought processes, then we can begin to control our emotions. If we can control our emotions, then we ar","And that's what I'm worried about. If you're not, you're not human. And I am worried, because I know what happens in the brain when a person dies, and","but there is no language but in the living being that can be a true language, because language is not something external to the body. Language is an e","this is a kind of thought of a kind of manifestation. Manifestation is the concept of a materialization of a thought in reality, that is a kind of a m","I want to say something about the difference between the conscious and the unconscious. Consciousness is in its simplest sense, an awareness of someth","I wonder if there are any real beings and if not, there are only thought forms. I don't think that there are any beings that are not thought forms. On","it's about the feeling of being able to see the future... It's not that we see the future as the present. I see the present as being made up of an end","I am seeing a field. The field is green, but not a uniform green. It's like a carpet of grass with different shades. It is also filled with different ","I'm dreaming... and dreaming... and there are these things, like a lot of light, coming and going... And then I'm like the light. I'm like light... an","you don't know, but you can't say it. It's in you, you don't have words, and it comes into the words, and that's why they're in you, they","and then the world is not in front of me as an object, but it's part of me, and I'm not a separate entity from it. And the world is me and I am the","I am just getting a feeling of the world. I am becoming more and more aware of my body. My whole body becomes more and more sensitive to every single ","I remember when I was younger I was taught to see that there are two sides to everything. For instance, when I see a tree I don't only see its branche","we are all looking in the same direction, which is not the same direction as we are looking. We are all in the same body, yet all different bodies, ye","we are a world of images, a world of visualizations, of ideas, and then in our mind, our thoughts are expressed and visualized as images, and those im","there was a door here, it was like a door, and it was like the door was a light. And the light was like a point of light, and the point of light was l","we are the ones who are alive. We are not the ones who die. We are the ones that are the essence of being. We are love, and we are consciousness, and ","so, and in the past, I didn't need to have a memory for it. I just needed to have a feeling for it. So I'll never know it, but I have this feeling","now I have no idea what that's about. Well I know that I have an idea what it is about, but that it is not about me, it is about a different reality, ","and so it is like the sun, or rather the light of the sun, which shines over everything. It is like the light of an illuminated space. But then, there","and that's the reason for the difference between the physical body and the life force. The physical body is materialistic, but the life force is not m","a man, I feel, is a part of the universe, and his consciousness, being part of the totality of consciousness, is not isolated from the totality. In a ","I want to see my father... and mother, and brother, and sister, and children of my children. I want to see all of them, because I think it is in their","a house is built and filled with light and water and a new world, a world of life. There is the earth, there is the water, there are all the trees, an","I know you're there, you are in me. You're with me always, but you are a part of me in a very different way from any other part of me, from the other ","I've got a beautiful home here ... [singing] The song is all about the house. It's so beautiful, so pure. I've got two sisters and I've got the house.","I'm like a little bird. I don't know how to do anything, I'm just there. I'm just a little bird, just a little bit of a little bird that is in everyth","in the middle of the night I was thinking that if there was an invisible thread connecting my body to everything, I was very certain it is the same as","the mind is in constant motion, and the mind is the light that illuminates itself. That's why there is the light of mind, the mind of light. So if the","I think, I think of the beauty and the magic of life, and I want to make a home out of it. The house is to be built, and I see myself working in it.","The first image that comes to me is that of the body and its various functions, as if it were a giant clock or a machine that is moving on its own. It","you don't understand how difficult it is, how beautiful it is. The beauty is that it doesn't have to be understood. It is not a question of being unde","... I don't know why I was born. That is what I know is true, that I was not born. I'm not sure I exist either, but I know that I'm not born","I'm sitting in a chair, and in a dream I'm in a chair and I'm sitting in the chair and I'm in the chair, and I'm feeling a certain vibration. And ther","it's almost like I'm being struck by an idea or being inspired or being inspired by something I just heard, something I just thought, or by the sound ","the thought of a god who is beyond the intellect, that which cannot be grasped by the mind. We can only feel it, and we can only feel the gods who are","there is the word, 'and'...and there's the word, 'the'...and the word, and the word, is there the word and and there's the and there's another","and so my body is... my body is like a fire in an incense burner... my body and my soul are like two elements, two separate things in the same univers","and the universe is really like this: that it is a space-time continuum, and the space-time continuum is really an entity that is like this, and there","my right hand is in the form of a large fish, and my left hand is a long snake, and my body is a huge fish. I am a gigantic fish. The universe is a gi","I've got a terrible feeling that I'm in the middle of the universe. That I'm here, that I'm somewhere, that's it. That I am the universe. I am the who","we have always been in a state of interconnection and in the interconnection of everything. All that we have created and that exists now is just the p","I have just had a thought that it is really a question of how one's own mental structure and its functioning can be understood, and how one's way of u","the thought I was having was that, in the end, there will be nothing here, only this, a small particle. I would like to believe that, in a way, my lif","and you could be standing in this room and you could feel like you're falling, falling, falling. And it's like, if you keep falling, you'll never fall","and then suddenly I realized, this is where you come from, and it is the same thing with God and with everything. That which is, is only a moment in e","and that I was a kind of little animal, and that this was my home, and that I lived and moved and had being in the world, and that is what I am, and t","I have a strange thought, like an image. It is a picture of my life. I am a man, walking in the desert, and there are other men, and I see them but th","and I see the image of my brother, a boy, in the light of the moon, in the tree, in the forest, on the shore, in the sky, on the sea, in","the music of the spheres, the sound of the spheres... I heard them moving in their orbits... the sound of them moving in the orbits... it is in the he","I see myself... and it is a deep dream, a dream with a heavy feeling. And I see a room, I see an arch of light and the room, it is a room that is","but there were times, like now, when the darkness of the night is all around you, when you cannot distinguish between heaven and hell, and it is the v","I was once again at the height of my joy... a beautiful golden sun was shining down, it was warm and soft and yet I could see its sharp edges. I felt ","we see the world, the world sees us, we see the past, the past sees us, the past is a present, it is the present that sees us. That which we see with ","a thought comes to me, that this world is not what it appears to be, not the world of the senses, but the world of thought. And that this is the world","I wonder whether the things that are called 'memories' and 'thoughts' and 'ideas' and 'dreams' and such like, whether those are just parts of a whole ","there are those who, in order to make the world better and more just and kind, wish to change the nature of matter, and so change the laws of nature. ","the memory of a moment, the moment of a memory, of an image, of a sense of a thing, and then of the sound of this moment, and then, of the feeling of ","a light goes up, a light goes down. Light comes from the source, goes out into the world, illuminates and becomes part of the world. Light is the eter","there is a certain tendency to see everything in a more positive light. But, it is an illusion that things are good; I am seeing that there is a sort ","[T]he fact of the existence of a time before time, of an existence before existence, of a world before worlds; that which is always present, in which ","I know that this is not a conscious mind, I know that it's a process of evolution, a process that is not based on consciousness or consciousness. It i","I'll just put this up there to be seen. I'll just let it float on, I guess. I have to, I don't know. I have this sort of experience of thinking as","what can I say, what can I tell? I don't know. It's not possible to tell. There is nothing to tell, and nothing to be told. And you are that thing tha","that is what is not being recognized, and what is being recognized is only the result of what is not recognized. The result, for example, of a thought","I have a certain thought which is like the sound of a bell, a bell which sounds. A bell that sounds in my head, which sounds and is not sound. I hear ","I want to create something with my hand. I don't have any thoughts about it now. I think it's a bit like dreaming. I don't know, I can't explain it. I","I'm waiting for the first light of dawn to emerge, as an anticipation of a new beginning. I'm waiting. The word of light is waiting for me to wake up ","I am a soundless, invisible thought. I am the same soundless, invisible thing as the great emptiness, and I am the great emptiness. I am an undifferen","I am looking at the horizon of the universe. The universe is a horizon. There is no other horizon but that of the universe, the horizon of reality. Th","I'm aware of being conscious. I can perceive and experience everything that's going on in here. This is the world of consciousness, the world of pure ","I have a little thought about this. There are many things that are not here, but there are many things not there as well. I can see that I am aware of","and then the dream of the house, of the house where the wind is blowing into me, it's not a wind that is blowing through me, it is me, who is blowing ","I am here... I am here. It is not the body but the consciousness itself which is here. And it is always here... But what am I here? Is this my being h","And then it occurs to me that I have to die, I have to pass on. There is a kind of light that I must pass on, because if I do not pass it on I must","the image of a woman with the head of a ram, with the body of a woman and the wings of an eagle. It is an image which, like the others, does not appea","and then, I was just a little child. I was so innocent and so beautiful. And I lived in a garden, a beautiful garden. And I was a flower, a flower, I ","I feel as if I were living in a dream. It is strange. I feel as if my soul is elsewhere. I don't know what it means. There is a feeling of joy. I","I don't know why I'm sitting here. I feel like I'm a prisoner, being held in chains by a strange force that prevents me from going anywhere. I feel as","[T]hese images, and the images that I can make now, and the idea that I can't make, that I can think about, that I'm trying to think of, but","I'm watching my reflection, and I can't stop seeing it. I see it in a new form and it's as if I'm watching myself in a new world. I'm experiencing tha","a world, and all worlds, are a little like our world, in which there is no man, and the universe is infinite and the universe cannot be created by any","all this is not the answer; it is not the end. All this is only a part, a small and limited part of what it means to be an artist. The answer is not s","I am here in front of you, the place where I am. And you see me, but I am not. You see me because you are a being that sees, and you know that I","the most beautiful of all thoughts, is the thought of the beauty of all things, the thought that the thought of beauty is the thought that contains al","the second, which is the second, the second time, the second creation, the second, as the first time, the first creation, the first time was the secon","The first part is the initial condition. The initial condition is the void. The void is a place of infinite potentiality. The void is the potentiality","then I thought that there was this weird connection between the world and the mind, which is that it is possible that the mind is a projection, and th","and suddenly I found myself at the bottom of an abyss, an abyss of nothing, and I was alone, without a body, without anything. I saw nothing and yet t","we are on the cusp of a new era. The concept of the future is a little different. The concept is a little more real than it was. It's a little more so","there are two points of view in this universe: that of the observer and that of the observed. The observer is the mind, the observed is everything els","I have to leave the place, it's getting dangerous. But if I can't be with you, and I'm not able to see you, and you're not able to hear my voice,","The center, the center of the center of things... the center of a single point is the void, the void is the center, it is the nothing... it is the cen","there's something about me and the light that's always there. It's always there, and it's always the same, it's always that same thing. But I am, and ","my mind was always open to anything... I always had an open mind... even though I had to make an effort, it's not like a normal thought that occurs, a","And now a new feeling is born in me, this time of infinite light, this time where nothing can exist or die, where everything exists eternally, where a","and it's all about the body, and the body's all about energy, and it's all in the brain, and the brain is all about the mind, and the mind is about th","I feel like a monkey. I think of all the monkeys in the world. I think: What is my purpose in this world? What is the purpose of monkeys? Why do we ex","so the question arises, what is the meaning of all this, what is my meaning in the universe? What am I doing? Why do I do that, and why do I experienc","And the first word that comes to my mind is... well, it is very strange, I have no idea what is going on in my head, why this word is coming out of my","[my] heart is beating, my heart is beating. My heart is beating because I am aware that I am conscious. I am conscious, because I am aware of consciou","the hand that is grasping that's grasping the object, the hand is not grasping the hand, is the hand not grasping, I don't know how the hand grasps it","this is a feeling. I don't know whether it's good or bad. It's a feeling of emptiness, but it's not void or a hole. It's an emptiness like there","the difference between thinking and dreaming...in sleep and in waking, you know...that is, dreaming in the unconscious or dreaming in the conscious. W","The word, the word that you want, that you really, really want, to come into your mouth, is the word that is your name. If you find yourself, in the p","I have no idea why. But there's a mystery here. What am I? And what am I doing here? What does this body do? This is a body, not a soul. It","the way things are, they're all part of the one thing, but that's how they seem to be. But that's not how they're really. That's how they appear, but ","and here are the facts, there are the facts. Now what is the truth? It is the truth. And I will get there. I will get to the truth. But this truth can","I think I will say something about that. I know it's not a very scientific way of talking about it, and I'm not really sure what it is. I am trying to","we are all... not the same... it is... a part of... a whole of... in a whole... there is only... a part, and not the same, and yet... it is","and I'm at a certain point where I am doing things, and there is a certain point in the life that we're in now, and I don't know what is happening in ","but I know that that's not exactly true, I know that there are things that are different from this, but that's not what I'm trying to say, but I don't","And we were so caught up in our own lives that we didn't even know that there was a world outside of us... We thought we were the universe. We didn't ","my God, it seems there is a gap between me and myself. But there is no gap between me and you. I have a consciousness in common with you, because we a","a mind that is thinking and knows itself is thinking is a mind that exists, and is a mind with a kind of existence, and is thinking, and is aware of i","there are a number of things that make my brain not work; but it's only the most subtle ones that I can see, because I am not aware of them. I see the","I'm trying to think about something. I can't think about anything. I can think about myself, but not about the content of myself. I can only think abo","now I'm thinking that I don't really know what I'm doing here, but I'm doing it, and that's not good enough, that's a bad sign. And I'm not thinking","there are these three possibilities for you. The first is that you are a purely material being, and all that you experience is the material world. Tha","I'll try to think of something interesting. I want to say that everything I think of is something that interests me. And I want to think of this and t","what are we? what is this? what is the point of being here? what is it that makes us think that we are in a universe? that there is a universe at all?","[the] eye is not a lens, it is a surface... but an observer of the field of light; that's the way to know the light; to know the nature of light. Ligh","There is no matter as small as an atom, or as large as a galaxy. There is only the universe and this one is the only thing there is. Therefore, I exis","It's interesting to see that it is in fact a little bit of a paradox, a contradiction, to be in a state of no thought. The only way that one can possi","and I thought I might as well. And I was trying to think of it as a game. It was like I was a computer, and I was running the program, and I had to an","I'm thinking of my brain and what the brain does, which is to make you think about something. Then it thinks about that something. It's the something ","And that's the story of the whole universe and everything. Everything is just a pattern. But it's not really everything, it's just a part of the whole","I see. I have a feeling, and I'm not sure it's right. I have this feeling of something being right, and I just feel that there's more, that there's no","you can't have anything but experience, or nothing at all. And when you can't have experience, it's not experience, it can't be anything but nothing. "],["I'm working on a research project on the use of cognitive restructuring for chronic pain management. The cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown t","I have a really vivid dream where I have a very nice relationship with someone. And then we get in an argument, and I think that the reason why this i","you know, this is the first time that I'm going to actually say out loud that I'm here, you know, for me, this is going to be a very, very interesting","the... the... the... how is the world?... how is everything, how is the... how am I?... I am well, I feel good, but I'm a little worried about","And then the problem is that there's always the next person, and we get stuck on the next person and then we're all kind of stuck, because we never re","I think this is the worst of all, because it's not just the same, it's not the same for me. It's not the same thing. It's the same thing, but I","The first is the one I'm going to put on. So that I have to take a very good look at it because I'm going to make some choices. So I'm going to look f","and then it's just like you're seeing it through the wrong end of the lens and everything is upside-down, it's like this is how you would see it if yo","you can see it, you can see the building, the building is there, it's just the shadow of the building is blocking it. And you can see in the middle of","I am trying to think of a word to describe the relationship of this painting to the other paintings in the room. I've seen them all now but I didn't s","there is an apple and an orange and a banana. Now the banana is an orange, but the orange is still an orange and it's not a banana. It is the same thi","a cat that is a little cat that is smaller than a medium cat is a small cat, a medium cat, that is smaller is a small cat. Is a small cat a smaller ca","a big bag of coffee beans ... and ... I wonder what they ... and ... this one, this one and this one are the same ... and then maybe it's not ... oh, ","just the opposite of that, I remember the first time I came down a flight of stairs, and it was all kind of in one piece. Then I saw the other way, an","... ... ... ... The next one was, oh, no, I'm not going to do it again, no. [pause] The next one, I don't know what this is. It","it's just not true, I just don't think it's true, there's just no way I'm going to believe this, I don't think this is true, I don't believe this","I mean I'm not sure if this is a good idea, I don't think so, maybe, you know, maybe it would be better to go through the other path and go to the oth","and then I will go down there and, and do I want to go to a different store? No, no. I'm fine with the store. Then I'll go to the store. So","The kids. [Says a name. Probably a kid at school.] So you want to do it at school, but you don't know where you want to go. So, we want to","what's going on? I'm here and I'm thinking I'm here. I'm trying to think of something. I'm going to go for a walk. It's 6 o'clock and","what is a bird? I don't know what a bird is. I think a bird is a thing that flies. Well, a bird is something that flies. That's a bird. I know","I'm just gonna have to go and get the book...it's a book..oh no, I can't do it..oh...what do I do?...I'll just have to get","this is the 3rd time I've made this video... and I haven't watched it yet... maybe it's a loop... or maybe this video will never end... or maybe I'll ","okay, so, the reason I'm here is because I'm really tired, so I think I'm gonna sleep... it's 2am and my mind is racing and I'm not sure what","then there was a cat in the kitchen and then the cat went up on the chair and then i was like i need to get the cat off the chair so then i got a broo","we'll go to the store and buy some apples. I know, I'll put the apples in the bag and then go to the grocery store and get some bananas. then I'll go ","you're an idiot, you're an idiot. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,","[35.7] i'm not sure what i'm gonna do tonight i'll think about it some more. i'm not too happy about the price of gas, but i don't think","'in the sky'... I'd like to go in the sky. I think the sky is... oh I dunno, 25,000 feet high. Oh, the sky","18.24 ... 38 37 2.10 ... 1.26 ... 1 2 4 6 8 10 2","yeah, I can't figure out what I'm doing, this is dumb. I'm in the living room, sitting on the couch, and my mom's in the kitchen...huh...h","I was thinking that you can't see my lips anymore, and then I realize I'm not looking at the screen, I'm looking at the room. And I wonder if there ar","i am thinking about... i'm thinking about... oh, i'm thinking of... yeah, i'm saying... i'm saying out loud... i'm imagining... what if... i'm... i","and this is an example, this is an image and then, and then, like, just a really good one, this is, it's the, like, this is the, this is this","we can say that this is what it looks like, but there's always a little bit more that we could say or add to make it complete. So let's go back and ad","[ ] It's not just the question [of] whether we're awake, but is this part of that process? If we're not awake, what are we? [ ] and are we still","1+1+1=3... 1+1+1... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9... 10 1","it's a little bit too small ... this is the third ... okay ... one, two, three...[pause] one, two [pause] one ... one two two one [pause] two","I am here, I am here, here, here. I am here. I'm here, here, I'm here. I... I am here? I am here, my fingers are here","The three points on a circle ... the circle ... is it ... I draw ... the three points on the circle ... I can draw it ... three points on ... I have t","and then I get out of the water, I get out, then I jump into a car. I jump into the car, and I drive, and I see a car in front of me,","and then I think of it being the opposite, it being a circle going the other way, going back, then coming out of the center and going back to the same","I think I remember the person who gave me the thing. She's tall, with a black shirt and jeans. The shirt is white. She's kind of like a fairy tale pri","and this is what I do when I'm writing a poem. I take a blank page and I think about a picture that I want to make with my words. Then I start writing","5014 ... 2538 2708 ... 6315 ... 1498 2500 ... 3280 ...","... 36.1.6.4.6.15.14.5.6.2.5.5.3.6.3.4.5....","the [black] line [above the center line] is moving a little bit, [moving down] then [moving up] and [moving down], [moving down and up] then [up","I've just noticed a '1' on my hands, and it's a 1 on my left hand. I've got a 1 here...I've just noticed that 1 has moved","the dark, the light, the dark... (a pause) ... the dark, the dark, dark... (another pause) ...the dark, ...the light, the light the light. ...","now, we're in a black field, and we're flying through the field at a speed. And the field is getting smaller and smaller as we go. And the black field","I see the door, a door, and it's a very thin door. I see the wood. I see a crack. I see one of the pieces of wood. I'm looking at a","and I see the big box in the centre of the picture and I see the red box in the upper left, and then the green one in the middle, and then this purple","I'm seeing a couple of people coming in... and one's a woman and one's... and then there's a guy, and I'm seeing two of them and then... and one of th","I was on a long walk down the road, and I was looking for a place where I could sit, and there was this long grassy area, and I looked and saw a littl","and the sky is like a huge blue cloth, and the light is a little bit dimmer, and I can see the lights on the hill that's kind of far away, and I'm sit","it's not like when you walk on the beach. it's more like... like you have a river flowing underneath you and you're just like you walk down the river,","(something about) a small red house, with the front door wide open. A very small, red house, (something about a little girl or something) (something a","the light, I see it coming in, it comes in, I see this light, I feel the light, I go outside, it's blue, it's like I'm looking out the window","and he was right there, the yellow square, it's a yellow square, and then it's the light and then there's another yellow square and then the light and","it's like when you get out of the shower and your skin is all red, and your body feels good, like, you're feeling it, it's like that, when you're in t","I've got something in my hand that's a little bit hard. It's a little harder than something else I'm holding. This is the one that's a bit harder. And","and I just know I'm going to die on my way to my house, and there will be no flowers on my grave.... And I think I'm going out to get something from t","I've never had a dream like that before, a big, long dream with a lot of pictures and shapes and sounds. I had one once that was so scary it made me c","(and) the old house had the porch that was painted black, but the fence was white. It's a dark porch, and it had a porch swing with the screen porch s","like a butterfly, a little butterfly, a butterfly, an orange butterfly, a brown butterfly. That's a nice butterfly. Now, like a butterfly, and a butte","I have two brothers...I have a sister. We live in a big house on a hill. And there are three of us. We are not little but we are big. We live on a","all the lights on the building, it's a blue light, and the white light. Like that, then the blue and the white together like that, like a diamond. And","It's raining again... it's a light rain... I was just thinking about the rain... I think that the rain is very nice... I think that it is nice on the ","I see a little house...that's my home. It has a red door...I am outside on a lawn with a little dog, a small dog. The dog is white. It barks","[S]o I got my bicycle, and I got it from [R], and I got her bike from [N]. I got it out the back of the shed. I think it's","I'll tell you the secret of it. The secret of it is that I can't see it. I don't see it at all. I'm so busy looking at it I don't think","I could almost see the old one standing up there, with his hands down, and his feet a little apart, and his face all turned up, so he couldn't see me.","I am looking for the perfect word to describe the color of the water. There is a word for the color of the grass, and the color of a rose. It is a bea","and then it's like this, you know, and it goes up and down and down like a pendulum and then it goes all around. And I guess there's a moon, too, with","I wonder... why not put on some socks on the chair? ... I wonder why I don't like it. ... Maybe it would be nice to put on a stocking over the chair? ","and I was just thinking of how I never used to be able to read and I think that was because when I was a baby I would get frightened and I would curl ","I can see the hillside covered with the big white flowers. They have such soft pink centers, and I like the pink and white together. There's so many o","I wonder, in my mind, if I could have had a little more patience, a little more understanding. I could have put myself in their shoes. I could see wha","I could see the snowflakes on the ground. And the sun was shining, and there were clouds over the mountain. I could see them like a blue sky with litt","you know I can't help it if I remember, you see, if I remember those memories, they come and I can't stop them. I just can't help myself, can't stop t","there's this fellow, you know, he's the fellow who's got a hat on his head that's green and his vest is a kind of grey colour and he wears a white tie","and the horse went by. No, that's not quite right. It was the horse. Now the horse, and the horse. No, now the horse, with a brown coat, and a","I just went to see a woman with an accident. Her leg is in a cast. She is going to need two and a half days to be out of hospital. Her mother said she","and it was going to be all right, if I could just get the girl to do it. The girl was going to do it; she'd do it, that's all. She'd do","and all that business with the goblins. The goblins? They don't seem to be any fun. No fun at all, that's what I say. They don't. And the g","The little dog. It's all the same, but he'd just as soon take to his heels, and be off to his master, as he'd go and play with you. And the cat","we were up all night, and he couldn't go to sleep, and I didn't want to go to sleep. We were just like that. Then I took him up on the roof, and","I must remember that we have not been so happy in the world as in the winter; we were very well then, I do think, very well: and yet, when we are tire","I was going to say 'that's a good idea!' and then I remembered I can't have any more tea. It's all gone, and I've got nothing more to eat but the end","but the doctor says I can't have it, it's all bad news for me, I can't, and then I'll have to come here to see you and get it changed, I don","there are two kinds of people who know what they want: they don't want anything and they know it. And the rest of us are as good as those two kinds of","this is where it comes from, and you can see that this is a small spot. And this is where the second one came from; I don't know how to draw it, but y","there is no end, that's the way it is. It is not like the river, which has an end. There is no end to it. ...And then I thought, 'It is","It's been a very long time since I've had a holiday. I never could take a holiday, but I did once for a week. I used to take a holiday in a certain ho","[The room is dark.] I think I've had a good day today. I've had quite a few things on my mind, but I think I am able to forget them. I don't","the first day that we were over here, I was a little bit shy and didn't like to go up to the people because they looked so hard. But they were very ni","[S]o the whole idea of getting the kids out to play is, I think, just as bad as putting them in the kindergarten. We don't want them to get out there ","I've got a friend that's married, and she's a teacher at a public school, and I was told by a friend, one of my friends, that she was going to tell my","we'd all be dead. We're just like that. It's terrible. I don't think we could stay here, but we're going to have to, if we can. They can't","and then we got her to run off to a playmate and I had her, and then she was like the little old lady at the hotel, she was such a little old lady and","I guess there's only two things I can remember. One is that I remember the old girl was just a little baby and she had a scar on her head like I did, ","You have a great voice, the girls like your voice, but they are so pretty, I can't help it, you know. Well, you will have to make the best of it, I","so she can't be very young, that's all. And her father's not the kind of man to leave her alone. So I'll come back here, and I'll tell him he's","the doctor's and the dentist's and the lawyer's, the doctor, the dentist, the doctor and the dentist. Why, I knew the doctor had two brothers. I knew ","and I'm going to take a picture of the 'cigar' in the glass. It's the man in the uniform. He's an officer of the law. He's going to arrest me","and so they all got married, and they all went into the woods together and built a cabin, and they built a dam up there and they had a boat and they h","and he was coming down with pneumonia and we didn't have enough to feed him. We had a big hen. We couldn't afford to feed the hen, so we killed the he","I don't know how I came to be here. I can't remember a thing. What are you people doing here? Why have you come here? You're all like white devils. I","we can't stop 'em, the 'Jews'โ€”I mean 'emโ€”ain't got no way to stop 'em; they're all over the country. I wouldn't like to","we could give it to him. I wonder if he'll be satisfied? If he will keep the house and give us the other money. If he will be satisfied. I think he'll","I'll be damned, and I don't care what anybody says, I'm going to make it in this life, and I'm going home. I'll have it my own way when I get","well, I'm trying to think, but I can't think of anything else. Well, I'm glad the old woman's not here to hear me think this. I wonder if it was true","there's something in the sky. You can see the wind. I can feel it. I can smell it. I can hear it, and I can taste it, too, and feel it.","the birds were singing in the trees. They're singing so nice...there were all kinds of birds singing, but I only heard the robins and the orioles. The","and, what was that?... That? I don't know. I don't like it. I don't think it's right, don't like that. I think I'd like to get","oh! That's right, I thought about the way I'd be if I married Mr. B...you know, the way he'd look on me, if I married him. I'd be","I'll tell you what happened. I don't want to go on. I think I'll tell you about that. I can't say where it is, but I've got one here. That","it's my fault. I've got to see her. I'd better do something. I've made a lot of money, haven't I? I'll give it to her. She's so","it was like he was right under the house and the house was a long way away, and he was under it, but I couldn't see him, only the floor and the wall w","they say the whole world's a joke. All the kings and queens and princes and ladies, and all the ladies' maids and footmen and all the rest of them, ar","I shall have my eye on her all day. She was a fine looking creature. Her head was all a-wagging, like a duck's. I shall have her. She shall be a","I feel so pleased, I say, 'I'll tell you what we'll do. I'll get a man to fetch you up to the door of the room, and you can stay there.","but I was so cold. I can't stand cold. And it was raining, and it was so cold, and I'd been up since six o'clock and I couldn't sleep and the bed","it's all very well, but when he did get up on the table, he got a bit of a start in the knees, and he got a little bit of a kick up his bottom,","and you were asking for me. I don't know how to get to you. You'll have to write. You were asking for a letter. I'll write a letter to you and send it","well, it's about time somebody did something, that's all. It's about time I did something about it, about that damned house. And about me and my mothe","we have to make her think we've had an accident, you know, I'm not going to stand for that. ...No, no, no, I'm going to get her to think we","and there she is now, and she's a fine looking young lady, and I expect she's married. And if she was married she's an old woman to me. I hope she's m","oh, he'll never be there...and it will be so...terribly...silly...and that makes me think about all the silly things I did when I was a girl. I went","they'd go to the old place...and she'd have a baby...and she was a good, sweet girl...they'd have a big old family of them...and they'd live at the","a girl with red hair, that's her, the one you've been wanting to meet, for ever. That's her. What was her name? Oh, it was Lina. No,","and I'm so sorry I didn't have a chance to write down your name. I was afraid to ask you for it. I don't think it would have been the same. I don't","I think you might have told me about the man with the red hat. You said he was a little man, and he was carrying a red bag and had a little red hat on","and you just love to see all that lovely green grass, and you just stand and watch, and look, and think, and wonder what it was that made her give all","well, I think I've got to tell you something about me. It's this way: I've had a hard time ever since I was born. I don't know why, but I was","And then he fell back on the bed and he was trying to get up and the water was in his mouth and then he looked over and he saw the water was over his ","The door was ajar, the curtain drawn across the window. I looked out, but could not see anything. I stepped close and opened the door, and in a minute","I was lying down. I'm lying down. It's like this. I was lying down, and I could have been dead, for I don't know why, but it was as though I","the best way to kill you, is to burn you, you know that, you know you don't want it, you know it's true; it's too much. They burn people in England","there is a man, a young man, a handsome, young, man, and a woman, a woman, not young but not old, and a child, and a baby, and they are","it's just like you were the other night. Just like you were, and you were telling me about the man who had been put in the coffin, and he was covered ","you can't say it's nothing. I just think he's a good boy. You wouldn't have wanted him to marry. He's a good looking boy. And he's been so kind.","now I'm thinking of a very long time ago, and my father and mother was a great big couple. They'd always been a great big couple, but they were so hap","and they went away from him, for they feared the Lord, and said, 'It is better for us that one dead man should arise than that another should die'....","I am still in the valley, still there with you, and we are waiting for you to come back. And I want you to know that you can always come to me if you ","the idea of that night, my first night with you, and how it ended. He took the baby and went away. I had no other thought than that. Then I had the id","I am sitting in the garden with my dear child. We are sitting in the middle of the lawn and it's raining, it's raining... I'm sitting with my dear, de","a whole bunch of people have come over. I've got a great big supper. I've had such a lot of friends here that I've got to go away to-night and come ba","and then we'd go back and see about getting the stuff taken away. Oh, I say, we'd do that. Oh, we'd go and get the stuff taken away, and then I","It was a small church, in a village near where we were living. They used to have a service every morning, and every night, and sometimes they had a se","and then I get this thing that I like to do, you know, I don't know if I've told you. I don't really like going out and doing that, because there's a","what's wrong with people? Why do they get all upset? Why do some people get upset so easily? Some people have to have something, and some people just ","so the idea of what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna work on some of those songs that I haven't finished yet... that's like the first thing that comes to my ","you know what they say, like Iโ€™m just a couple of days off, itโ€™s like I just get like that. You know, like I just... yeah, I guess thatโ€™s what it","and I was really sad when my friend, my good friend, was, like, you know, when she was like, I don't know, like a few months ago. Like she, she","Iโ€™m thinking about going on a walk or something with my friend and weโ€™re going to go and get some drinks. I mean, like just hang out. Iโ€™m not sure I s","I'm having a meeting today with a friend of mine, who is in charge of some sort of technology company, and I'm just thinking that we're in a new world","we have been to a party...the guy was like 'hey you know how i'm working out?' he was like 'oh it's my job to be on the field' it's like,","I was thinking, like, this is pretty good. I've been doing it for like 30 minutes. I'm not sure if I'm ready for my session. I don't know,","[I]magine [that] I'm writing a book, I'm writing this book. And I want to make it funny. I want to be funny. So like I'm just writing","you know it's hard to find someone that's like you, you know. Yeah, it's like, you have a unique, uh, thing, I guess you could say, unique experience ","and it was like the the first day that they got that you know they got that phone number and they called that first time. It was so it was so random. ","I got into a fight with my roommate yesterday, and I don't know if we're gonna stay together. I feel like we're just not getting along so well. I feel","I'm going to talk about the new show that's coming out this week on Hulu. It's called The Lying Game. It's about a girl who's the perfect daughter, an","okay so it's like... uh, uh, it's like that's actually not how you know I mean I feel like I should have been able to get this. You know I feel like w","I'm pretty sure that if I could get the kids back in school, I could make sure that they're doing the best that they possibly could, because they've g","like it's like a little bit like, I've, I've always kind of been into like, like, I'm, I'm really into like, I don't know. I don't","And it's not the most straightforward thing to do. Like, you could be like, okay, like, just do a Google search for like, just, like, give it a go, bu","okay, so I'm thinking about it, I mean I'm just thinking, you know, like what are the things that are going through my mind? So like my brain is tryin","so like, when you're trying to put out a fire, but it's like the fire just like, like, the fire starts, and then you're like, okay, I'm going to","like I said, the first one was the most accurate, the second one was kind of a guess. And I think the second one is just because like, it's just a lot","I'm like the most popular guy at school and I just like, I just go around doing stuff and it's like, I'm like, I don't really like going out with peop","And I was thinking like, like I think it's a little bit about like, maybe, maybe people in like, like in the army, like they don't, they're like they ","just the one thing is, like, why do you know that you know the thing that you know and you know that it's true like, that's kind of weird, right? Like","what's the most important thing in my life is this, my wife and my dog, and it's a good thing to do a lot of things for my wife, you know, because she","and I think that you're gonna like it. It's going to be really really good. And I'm going to be super happy when it gets out and it's a lot of people ","and that's okay. I know it's gonna be a little bit later. I know there's going to be some things that are going to be a little different than what I e","it's not even 10 years. I would've never thought that, in the 90s, you would have had a good number of people, if you just saw the whole internet","we don't get to have kids, I'm not sure if it's because my age or it's like a time thing, I'm like I'm not really ready for that, I'm just","I had been thinking about the movie [The Matrix]. You know, I'm a huge fan of movies. I was thinking about the idea that you know, people can be hypno","my body's not working... and it's been really hard to sleep lately... but it's okay... I don't think I can really go to a job right now... and I have ","you're trying to think of a movie or a book or a song or a book about love and it just comes to me right now. It's like the 1980s. You","And you can do that too, because you have the tools, you know?... It's like, okay, you can do this. And you're going to be fine, you know, because","I remember when we used to do, you know, our own thing on the website and it was all we talked about like, hey, how's the website going to be, what's ","it's all about your money. That's the whole point of this, right? Your money's the reason you're doing this. You've got to have some sort of purpose, ","this is really really fun, this is, yeah, I'm in a different part of the world and I don't feel like I'm in the same place, so this is like a great wa","the kind of thing that happened in 2009 when the government was shutting down, and the country was just on the brink of civil war, you know. It was ju","so you know my boyfriend like just wants to meet up with a bunch of his friends like for a coffee or something, right? And like me and he like you kno","I'm also gonna put on this show on...on this show on this show, which is like...that's my...I'm like...like 75% in that. Like I'm","my brother's gonna go to New York, and he's gonna play at the White House for the inauguration and stuff. I'm just like, I'm really proud of him. He's","like the story of a guy who goes into a bar, and there's a bunch of guys sitting there and the bartender says, oh, you look like you want a drink. And","what's funny is I just found out you know we have these things called video calls but I don't know how to do it on my phone I just like the way I like","the thing about it is... like... if I had like a big... like a big thing... like a super big thing. Like... like... like if I had a super big... like.","you know, I think like, maybe you're just a little bit, a little bit more paranoid than you were before. Like, when I was like, on the bus I was like.","this is a little weird because, like, I donโ€™t know, itโ€™s kind of like a mental health thing, but like, I just kind of wish people could, like, just ta","uh-huh. Uh-huh. Um... I wonder if he's going to be okay. Um. It's just. It's a little concerning. Um. I think, I'm going","I'm sitting here at a bar. And I'm just trying to think. It's a lot of people in here. I'm trying to think about what to talk about. I've got some","just thinking about the book... I mean I'm kind of like writing on it, but I'm not like super deep in it right now because I don't have the energy for","[I]f I could...go back to, like, my high school...and be like, 'you should've been a doctor because...you like learning about...how the body works...'","I've been thinking about what I need to do after this call. I need to look at my finances, see what I need. I need to talk to my fiancee about what we","and I want to get into it and do it properly and be able to do it, so it's not just for fun or just for like, the fact that like, you know, my friend","yeah, so there's like this, there's, there's this video, it's a video of an ex girlfriend and I'm like, 'Oh my God, you're, like, you","so they're in there. I don't know if that's really a thing, but I have this one thing I can't say no to. That's a really good one, it's like","and you know, like I'm sitting here, and I'm just like, I'm in the process of working on a project for class. And I'm like, it's like I have like","and I think that I think I want to just start looking into like... like some of those like like some of the like you know... I'm not sure if you're fa","and then I was thinking, I was like, 'okay, yeah, that's interesting, it's like, a lot of the time when I go to these kinds of events, I'll have","I want to move away from where I am now... I don't want to be here forever, I want to live somewhere else, somewhere else I like to live in. Like I ha","[thinking] about how I'm going to teach [this class] because I'm just gonna like talk a lot. I don't even know how many slides I'm gonna make. And I'm","I know that I'm gonna be super stressed, like I said before, because I got a lot of deadlines and I know that I need to get it in on time, because if ","and it's funny because I'm really struggling right now with work, you know, I have a lot of things to do and I'm trying to get everything done, and it","I don't have a lot of time to take notes. I have a lot to get done, and it's just a lot of things. I have some projects going on and then just having ","So the only thing that I can do is to think about how I'm going to get my bills paid. So the only thing I can do with the bills is either try to find ","And then I look at the schedule and I see that I have a lot of stuff that I need to do that I didn't do before and that I need to make up time for. An","yeah, so, I have a lot of meetings scheduled for this week, so it's a little overwhelming. I've also been trying to plan my week more effectively. So,","I'm not gonna look into this right now. I'm not going to be like, oh, I want to do that, so I'll spend all my time, and that's the best thing","my boss has a very aggressive boss. He's not my direct supervisor, but he's in charge of my team. We just went through a team meeting. So he was like,","like, you're gonna have to use it for a while. So I can't use it anymore. I can't, I can't really use it anymore because, like, I'm gonna be","oh okay and just like I said earlier, we were doing that where we have like, you know, like a budget for our stuff like, so when we're like, we're goi","uh, that I can get a free laptop to do this for a class or for a project, it's uh it's just, it's just nice because you get it for free, right,","I'm really tired right now. Like, I don't know if I'm gonna do this, it's like I can't really, like, get anything done. It's just like, I","[the]... 2016... 28th of August... my birthday. I don't remember. But I remember, I've been thinking about my birthday. And it's","my thoughts were going through different things. It was a bit of a mix. Some of them were related to a couple of the things that we were going over fo","oh wow, what a good point, yeah, and that's a real good point about, like, the kind of the like the type of like the, what's the term? The type of","I wonder how long itโ€™s been since I was at the gym. I donโ€™t remember. I don't even know how often I go to the gym, I mean, I think I go once","yeah, so, you know, if you were to be like, you know like a manager, you'd be like, what if they are just trying to manipulate us or try to get us int","what I would like to say is, I would like you to know, you know, that it was like, I guess it was a couple of years ago, you know that I had to go","and then there was an email from my wife that was like, 'oh my God, there's a cat on the roof' and then I went up and there was a cat on my roof and","the last one, um, in my, in my area I think there's, there's an, um, I guess it's a, um, a, it's a mobile company that,","yeah, and we're also going to look at the weather. So I mean, I have the, I have a few things to do before we go to bed. I mean, if we can","I wonder why I didn't say the same thing. And then I think I didn't because it's not really that relevant to the actual question at hand. I was just l","okay, I think the next part of this is just sort of following up with a little bit more on like the whole thing with the, like, the big picture of thi","I'm just trying to... I'm just thinking about this one project where I'm trying to come up with the design of the UI and what to include and what to e","and then it turns out it's not just this, I think I got a bunch of that from... this is my first year. So, it's not going to be exactly like other yea","8,9. Okay. So what is a computer? Computer, I think, it's a computer, a general term for a device that can perform calculations and process informatio","yeah, okay, so, umm, I'm on a mission, umm... I'm on this mission to go to the next level, and the next level is when I finish the task","... I was trying to make a little progress on that list I'm writing, and then it was time for the session, so I kind of put a pause on that and was do","[00:40:04.850] I'm wondering if there's a way that I could maybe make a note of what I'm thinking about, you know, just","my thoughts are really weird, I think about how I'm thinking about how I think about what I'm thinking, and it's like this sort of meta loop. I'm thin","and, um, what I'm thinking, I guess, um, the thing I'm trying to think of is, um, so, um, you know, um, it's like, um","I had a dream last night, I was like the one of that you're, you're like a student, and you're like, you know, you're looking up at the board, and","my dog, like a really fast dog, he goes around and goes really fast. So when we are like riding bikes, and he goes around really fast, it's like that ","and we're just waiting for them to show up at the gate, and they're already standing there, and then he says, okay. Let's go, and he's like, yeah, I","20% of people in the US have COVID, which is why we need to get vaccinated... 80% of people aren't vaccinated, we can only do what we can. If","this is a really, really interesting, interesting topic for me, and I think, and I have a question about what's the reason that I think, if I just giv","a lot of people, the majority of people who come to me with mental illness, I've found that they tend to be very, very self-deprecating, and very, ver","I have a list of five things that I have to do today. The first thing is to call the customer service to see what's going on. The second thing is to t","I've had a pretty good life so far, I've been doing good work, I've been getting a lot done. I've been enjoying the work, but also I'm like, getting a","so what we were trying to do here was make sure that we had a proper baseline for the way that a typical student would actually go about their day in ","I have a dream of the world where all of us work for the betterment of the world, and all of us share the same knowledge. And that we are all able to ","I'm thinking of a few of the things that have occurred to me this week. One of them, I'm sure most people are aware of, is that the government is goin","I'm in the middle of an exam for my master's thesis in data science. And it's a lot of stress. I'm at work, and I'm in my office right now. I","I've got a lot of stuff, I'm trying to figure out, like how do I fit in with the other stuff that I'm doing? And also, I'm thinking about, you know","So, so many of these are actually these are interesting questions and I'm kind of like, you know, I just wanted to learn a little bit about it. I have","it was hard to get [into] the right frame of mind to be able to do it and I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do [for the project], so I was kind of","I think I need to write my next book and that's going to be really challenging to do. I've been working on a bunch of different ideas. I'm thinking ab","[W]hat do you think you are doing? And I'm just trying to get an idea of like what is it that is driving you to work for this organization. And like w","the first thing that I wanted to talk about is something that I have been working on for some time and it's kind of like a book on AI and I am the fir","I've had a very strange and interesting dream last night that I thought I'd share with you, just as a sort of example of the type of dreams people hav","I think they should be more consistent. They should be more like the way the government has it, where they are kind of in place where there is some so","we're getting to the point where you don't really need to go to the capital in order to actually have the most significant effect. If you have a reall","okay, I've already seen that a lot of this stuff is in the sense that it's a very kind of... I guess it's an economic thing, that there's a lot of val","and so, yeah, the way that you frame things. And this is, in my mind, sort of one of the key points of a lot of the problems that we face is this idea","I don't want to talk about how difficult it is to make progress because it's not helpful, but I am concerned that the situation that we're in is a lit","a lot of it is just getting people to realize, 'Hey, these are the things that are important, what can we do better? How can we be better? How can I b","and they've got to figure out how to get to a place where you can actually have the conversation without all the barriers being in the way that would ","I've got to learn how to learn how to do this, but I'm going to have to be willing to go to the extent where it's not comfortable in order to get the ","I am trying to work through what I have done as an executive and how I might apply it in a different context to address a different set of problems. O","I'm starting to wonder if there are actually some really profound, underlying, like, you know, sort of the science behind the things that we do with t","I don't know how to do this, but I'm thinking of trying to get my PhD in, like, physics because I've done a lot of work on the mathematics of quantum ","it's very interesting that I think the... I was just going to say that I think that I am more likely to be successful in the future if I have a more d","I've got to decide what's going on here. This is an interesting place. It's not the same as my daily work, so it's a very different environment. My mi","and I think we need to figure out, because the business of the United States is to be an exporter of values, and part of that value is the idea of bei","the world is full of pain. We see that in the news. We see it in the violence that we see in the United States. We see violence that is not just the d","I can think of one thing that I've been saying to my kids, that if you don't like something you're doing, you can quit doing it. But if you're doing s","you don't really need to worry about the people you've got who've already joined up. Like the one that I know for example, the one that was in the fir","And the way I see it, if we were to try to solve these issues and I think the most pressing ones are the environment, the economy, the human rights, a","It's interesting how the US and Israel are all of a sudden trying to build a wall between Gaza and Egypt, so that the Palestinians don't have free acc","my friend just got back from the Ukraine. She has been doing some work for the U.N. in the Ukraine, and there was a lot of protests, there were some p","so I was thinking that maybe I could go back and just get my hands dirty a little bit and start with the kind of work that we're going to do in the se","so then I was thinking about... well, we just need to be able to sort of make a little bit more progress on the issues, especially in the way that we'","because you're not, right? Like, you have to be a really good guy. You have to be in a position, you have a lot of resources, a lot of time and a lot","I am now in a place where I have a lot of personal time, a lot of time to spend, with the hope of doing a lot of good in the world. I'm in this place","I see people...a lot of the people that I see. It's a little bit like going to church, it's a little bit of going to a sports event. There's a certain","I know that the thing that I love in my life, I love the challenge of working with kids, which is, I'm very involved with that in my work. And I work ","and so in a way I'm thinking about how that could be possible for the U.S. and how that could possibly happen and I'm thinking of a few different thin","and the first thing I'm thinking is, is I'm thinking about the people who were in the audience this afternoon, and I'm thinking, they were there becau","I remember a few years ago that we had some discussions about this issue of whether or not the people who are in our country, that we would need to ha","I think we can have a really important conversation on this issue, I think we've got a chance to take a really important step towards building a more ","there's a lot of things that have been in my mind recently that are just very much related to the 2018 presidential elections and that's why I am very","Itโ€™s a little bit of a weird, complicated thing, and I would say itโ€™s definitely the hardest thing Iโ€™ve had to do in my life so far. Itโ€™s the most dif","we should have a long list of things that we want to achieve. There are some things that we would like to achieve in our lifetime that we should have ","And I think I'm not sure that the best way to do this, or the most effective way to do is to try to have the most expensive, most technologically adva","The important thing is the relationship between the patient and the clinician, and that's what has been so striking for me. There have been very few o","I've been working on that for some time and, you know, a lot of things have come in. One of the things that's happened with our work with the African ","I feel like I'm being let down by my leadership team and by the leadership team, I don't know. And so I feel like my leadership team doesn't see me as","it's like I've always been afraid of it, I think that there's a lot of fear and anxiety associated with the fact that I'm not really a student, I don'","and the whole point is that we don't have to be so literal in how we're approaching this, like, I mean, we don't even have to be like, you know, I'm","and then I'm just thinking about the work that I did that I could do better in a more effective way, so that it's more productive and more effective. ","so the first thing is that we're going to get out of this state of mind that is really focused on this crisis. Right now, in this moment, we're really","The thing is, I can't say that I can be more than a little bit surprised, frankly, when I hear somebody say that there's no reason to believe that we ","And then, I started to have this experience. And the experience is that, um, I, I'm aware of my own, um, physical sensations. And what I mean by that ","I've been thinking about this for a long time. And I think that actually there are a lot of people who are having difficulty with this, that is the pr","and we have the ability, in the US at least, to use all of that to, you know, to do more good than harm. And that's where I think the real opportunity","I was thinking about the fact that the economy has changed since we've been in office. We've had the economic recession, we've had the pandemic. We've","I mean, there is a lot of that happening in the United States of America now and then that just comes to mind. What I mean is that we are facing the p","it's very important, that the police have some control over it, that they don't just do what they want. But on the other hand, you have to have that f","And it's a pretty big difference between, for example, what we learned in the 1990s about how to do this kind of thing, versus what we're learning tod","and I feel, if I don't get the right to live in the United States, then I am going to be forced to migrate, which I'm not opposed to, but the United S","it is very hard to decide which country to go to. And it's also very hard to find out whether we can go to other countries, to other continents, and i","this is the kind of thing where you don't need to have a formal structure to be able to get some important work done and you just work on the problems","I know there's a lot of work that has to be done, but I don't think you can do it in your normal daily life. So what you've got to do is get some of","We are trying to figure out ways to use the system to have it be useful for a broader class of things, because we can do things, but we also need to t","it's very similar to what happens in a meeting with the senior management or other people. ...when it comes to what you do, what you say and how you d","It's quite an interesting problem. So we need to make sure that it's a viable strategy for getting around some of the issues of security. And the fact","I'm looking at the past. I'm looking at some of these things. The first is the first thing that came to mind. What was the last thing? The first thing","and we'll see you, of course, you know. We'll see you for our last meeting and then we'll move on and we'll have a whole new set of people in the room","this was in the 90s, actually, when I was trying to understand what was happening in the United States, which was quite a challenge because I came in ","so, we're looking at some of the more important players in the world, and what we're looking for is a global, global solution to the issues. I don't t","a few people are talking about the idea of a European Parliament of the European Union. I think it's an important idea, and I don't think it's been wi","there's a couple of things that are going through my mind. One of them is, of course, I'm an American, I'm a citizen of the US, and it's important for","I am a professor of the history of philosophy at the University of Oxford. I'm here because the faculty has been involved in a number of very high-pro","it's interesting that that was exactly the question that was put to me. In fact, I remember being asked this by a colleague when I was writing the boo","I think I was a lot younger when I was at the University of California and I was a graduate student, but I remember the time I was an undergraduate. I","it is an important thing that there are several approaches to the same problem. This is a good thing because it creates diversity and variety of resea","this is just an example of a person who is reading a book about how to conduct research in the social sciences. And a lot of what's in here is based o","in the case of the ... of the ... the ... of a problem that is under investigation, what one does is one starts with a theory. This is an important po","you know that's interesting. So in fact, that's an interesting case where I don't think it's a simple case of the brain, which is a black box that can","my partner's like 'well, the system, we're looking at the system, and the system has these internal constraints, and then we have an external constrai","I've got a lot of good ideas and I don't know what to do with them. It's a challenge. It's an issue that I'm personally interested in. I'm not sure wh","I'm not really that concerned about it, because I think I understand how to do it in a way that's not too costly, and it's not like I'm doing it, like","we want to find out whether what you know, how you learn, whether it's different for the computer, how to be a computer user, whether you want to lear","I think the important thing is to keep the patient from being discouraged by this thing and to try to make it into a useful tool. I think one of the p","if I could use all my time to work on one project and just be very focused and have the resources to do that, I'd be much more effective. And I think ","I'm talking about an organization, I think we could create a partnership with one of our organizations, which is called the American Association of Un","a friend of mine said he was working for an international company, and I said, 'Why do you work for the international company?' He said, 'I am not wor","I'm not sure. I'm not entirely sure. I've got some people to help me with some of the things I don't understand about the business. But I'm also kind ","and so this is an important part of what we're doing, I think, is trying to build a knowledge base in the brain. So what we're looking at is, for exam","if there's a certain threshold, that is, if there's a high threshold to be met in order to have an idea be a good idea and if that's really true, then","I want to have a big study on this, in order to find out how we can actually be sure, even if we have the strongest evidence for a particular outcome,","we might need to be careful that we're not just coming at this from the standpoint of we just want to use the tools to make it easier to do whatever w","the first time I actually learned it, I thought, 'Well, I've got to learn that for sure, so I'll probably spend about an hour on it, maybe two hours, ","I was thinking about how we had a meeting where I had a big job and then I had a little job and so on and so forth. And I think the first job that I g","I'm in the middle of a conversation with a couple of my students and they're telling me that they have a particular problem with an exam coming up and","this is a part of the study that is probably very familiar to everyone, and it is the sort of thing that the students have to learn at college. You ca","I'm going to be interviewing for jobs. And so, what I need to do is I need to set up a process to take notes on the interviews, on the companies. And ","I'm thinking about my computer. I've just read a couple of papers about the problem of scaling up in the distributed systems, and one of them talked a","Okay. So, now I want to be able to say that it's a big part of the value of this research is that we're going to be able to see how much information y","a lot of people are going to be coming over for Thanksgiving, and I have a lot of stuff that I've been putting in my backpack, so I think that's where","the way to be a good person is to not be a person, to be a member of the crowd, to not be thinking about my own personal things, and I think this is t","I'm not sure I'm really answering that question. I don't know whether it's really that you can't know about the world in the way that you think, and y","So I think about the same thing that I've been thinking about for many years, which is: I am in a world where we have some very good policies, very go","I know there's a lot of things in my life that I feel I'm not really contributing, that I don't have the experience to really help solve, the question","I think if the subject was the one of the students, the students are like the ones who have to go to the university, and I think that's what I should ","I'm looking at these little stories that are being told on the internet that are kind of being used by some of the, like, the Muslim organizations, as","because we're trying to understand this idea of a non-reflective mind. How do you train the mind to be in that state of awareness without any judgment","there's some research that shows that when you have a large number of people and you have a certain amount of information, that the information can be","we're in the lab, I'm working in this room, I have my chair, I have some laptops, I have a bunch of notes. I'm sitting here thinking about all these d","we have to see that we're in a place, this is where the first step is to do it, is to be able to define our objective, to define what we're doing. And","I have a dream that one day on the red planet we will have the ability to have a space station that will be a habitat for us, and we will be living th","we're going to start by looking at our existing data and our existing models, and then we're going to go into an environment where we have a lot of da","I don't know how to do the interview, but I know how to... I don't know... how to do it in a systematic way. How to do it, I mean... It's","the thing is that I'm trying to think about things that I could do, which are more likely to have a big impact, and then I'm trying to figure out how ","I've been working on this paper on the long-term consequences of the Great War, and how it affects the people involved. There's a lot of research that","So if you have some ideas about what you might want to do in the future, I'm not necessarily saying that you should write them down. But you could tal","I feel like the world is a mess. We have all kinds of problems. We have the pandemic, we have all these other problems that are going on, and it's ver","you know, there are a lot of things that have a lot of importance in terms of the kind of people that we have, there is a lot of bias that is there an","that's a lot of power to you as well. And then, it's also a lot of pressure on the other side as well, in the sense that we're, we're, it's","I feel that you've been... been at the mercy of the circumstances, but now I think that you can... can change some of the circumstances that are in pl","and I was thinking about this and I was trying to imagine that if you had this sort of technology that was very sophisticated in terms of their abilit","it's that we all have the potential to make good decisions. The question is, are you going to choose the good options? If you do choose to make a good","it is not something I would do for the company that is involved in it. I think if it is something that is already happening, then they have to make su","and then I was like, 'Oh, you know, we need a big investment.' And then there was a lot of, like, 'Let's go after, let's go after those investments","well, there's one thing that's sort of interesting. You know, the whole idea of the software that is running on the computer and, you know, the amount","I don't want to do this anymore. This is why it's called the social experiment. I want to do what I want to. I want, if I'm gonna be, I'm gonna","a new one that has been invented, but it's very hard to implement. The idea is, for example, that you have a phone that you buy. And then you just con","a lot of it has to do with what I've been reading. And I was talking about, I think it was something that I was doing or thinking about when I was in ","and we don't have to have any more data, we'll just see the results. If they do have an effect, that's good. But if they don't, we'll move on and","and you know, I feel like I'm kind of, it's like I'm in a strange state. I mean, I've been in a state where I feel like my mind is kind of","so I mean, like, you know, you want to use it in the future as well. So it's not just a one time thing. And so when you use it for the first time","yeah, I think maybe there is some benefit to being able to be in that state for longer because maybe you can come up with more ideas and there are som","that's a very, very big thing for me that I want to be able to understand the impact that different things are having on my brain. Like how different ","and this is like a big database of people that you have in your head... and you could probably just sort of filter through it to find some data that i","we are all people who have very different personalities and different life experiences and different things that are happening in our life. So I don't","so I just went to the internet. I downloaded an app that has like a lot of different functions, and it has one function which is a mind map creator, w","what does this mean? It means that we could just put the different ideas in the system and let it run and see what happens. That's one approach. Anoth","I've been trying to think of ways to apply machine learning to this problem. The first idea that comes to mind is using reinforcement learning to trai","but I'll tell you, you can't think like that because you have to have a real solid foundation. A lot of it is based on the ideas you have about how th","a bit of code golfing in C, I think that's not that hard. In order to make it fast, you have to use all the tools, you don't have to do it in","there's a lot of... a lot of really interesting... really interesting things we can do... there's a... a lot we can do to reduce... reduce... reduce t","oh, I like that because I was thinking about what would happen to the graph if you had a polynomial function and you evaluated the derivative of that ","The 2003 and 2017 datasets are very similar. In terms of the number of changes, I would say 20% are similar and 80% are","you have two points and want to find a line. And the line is parallel to this line, right? And it has a slope of 3. So what's the equation? And there'","uh, so that's it, uh, oh, that's interesting. Um, I was like, okay, so, you know, uh, it's interesting, the, it's like,","the person with the most interesting thoughts, and I was thinking, and I'll probably have to make my own, and I don't have the time for it, because I ","and I was thinking, well, there's the formula, right? The formula is just like a sum of 1 over 2 plus 1 over the square of 3 and 1 over","there are lots of different ways to do this. I think you need to do it on a computer. So you want to put these together in an array. I think the array","and what they said was that that's exactly the problem I had. I wanted to know what the value of an argument was. And so I said well if you want to kn","we have a function that is linearly related to the square of the distance from the point to the surface of the object, which is an estimate of the sur","the mean. I wonder if the mean of a sequence of independent variables, each of which has a zero mean, also has zero mean. I think that it does. This i","I am a computer science professor, and I teach a lot of courses, and I have students come to see me for questions about assignments. And there's a stu"],["what? I don't know. That's it. I think. I can't think of anything else. I can hear music. I just hear music and it's really nice and it's relaxing","I'm sitting here...thinking about that, you know, what is going on. And I'm just trying to figure out why you don't know it, and that's what's botheri","the idea that we were thinking about had been to try to work out how the mind works, and then to take that knowledge, and use it to try to figure out ","I'm trying to say, that the idea is that you have to go through a certain amount of that. That's where you go through that, so you get over that, you ","So I'm thinking of a really cool thing. So I'm going to tell you something that's really important, and it's really important to tell you about, and I","so I'm thinking that I'm doing this, I'm doing some research on this, and then I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to check out some books. O","the fact that the whole of the universe was made out of that, which is one of the greatest miracles of all time. So the fact that you and I and every ","you have to make a choice about the question you want to ask about. What are you trying to ask the question about? Do you want to know about the peopl","And then, when you look at the data, you see that there's this funny phenomenon, the, what's it called, the two-thirds phenomenon. Where the data from","and that was how it was, I think, because we had a lot of work to do. There was a lot of material there that I think has a lot of value and I think th","it seems like, when I get an idea, that idea then goes through a process where, for a time, it's kind of locked in, like a kind of mental state that c","the word 'law' as the basis for all laws is like the foundation of the pyramid: you can build the whole thing, but you cannot go deeper than the law. ","and I know I know that I know that... and I know that I don't know that I... I know that it's... I know it's not true, but I don't want to","and now what is the probability that a given sub-problem is solved in some given amount of time? The answer is that if the sub-problem does not get so","I just read something in the paper, that was a story that a couple of weeks ago, an article that came out that was about some of the discoveries in bi","a thing is a thing, if you understand it. A thing is a thing because it can be used. For instance, the number 2 is a thing and it can be used as a uni","the numbers are in this case not as different as in the other case. The numbers in this case are not very different from each other. And in fact it's ","I'm a very good person, I think. I have an 80 percent chance of being a good person. I'm good at what I do, I think, although I can't remember","I am sitting here in front of you. I am having a thought. The thought is a question. I am not sure what this is going to be like, this is going to inv","I just started to think about this... I started to think... well, in this situation, I am a participant in this experiment, I am not a machine, I am a","(in a loud voice) Okay, I'm thinking now: Okay, I've been reading a lot about the brain and I know that the brain, the whole thing, is made of neurons","And then I have a thought. It's not a thought, it's a picture of a thought. I can see it. It's like a tree, and I can see that it's a","and the sun was shining on the mountain. The mountain was an example of a curved surface, but it was curved only in one direction. It was a two dimens","I'll go to bed in a few minutes, I have to sleep because I have to start again. I don't know why I have to do this but I know I have to. And I","that's very interesting. It's sort of like if I was making a note on a sheet of paper, and I'm making notes and I don't want to take them away. If I d","and I know that the derivative of x is 1, and that the derivative of -x is -1. I know that this is 1 over x and that the integral of this is -","a square of two and three, which is six, and then times five, so ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five, and then six, so twenty five, thirty, thirty five,","I'm going to be in the middle of this 25 square feet area. I've got to cross it at this point. The time I've got left is 5 seconds. And then","and the square root of three and then the square root of two plus the square root of pi and then the cube root of two, and then the sine of the sum of","Okay. (pause) Okay. Let's do it. Let's start. Let's. (pause)... Okay. Okay. We're in. Let's go. Okay, here it goes.","and 2018 it's the year we go to mars and the earth is empty. We have to go to mars for water and there is no water on earth. And it's like","[sings] The King of the Rock (King of the Rock, King of the rock, King of The Rock, King Of the Rock...) [sings more, with some noise, and","I just got to be 39 ... I think I'm 38 ... I think you're 28. No, you're 38. I'm 29, I","3, 2, 1, 0, 5, 4, 3, -1, -2, -3, 0.5, -1.5,","the number of possible games to be played by two people, with two dice each, and with 36 spots, with the game ending when a number of spots is reached","The answer to that is the same as the answer to this one, but a little further out, it's gonna be a little further down. Okay, we'll have to go over t","[7:34] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [5","353 1.22 123 231 132 213 135 315 235 523","that is a 33 degree angle, and then 33 times 4 = 132 degrees. Now, there are 262 degrees left. And 264","oh, my, oh, my. No, no. There's got to be a way to do it that's not exponential. I have a, uh, I have a kind of, I","and I've had this dream before that I had that I can't remember where it came from... there is a very specific pattern of events that is an invariable","it's a lot of what you see in movies, they have these huge spaces with these huge spaces, and there's like a couple of people, and they're always figh","and that is the only one of these numbers which is divisible by 40. That is the only number that is divisible by both 5 and 8. 40 is 2^","there is a line... a line from a to b... a and b are points... and a and b can be any distance... a is 10 and b is 11... so","And now this is a rectangle with sides 15, 17, and 12, and the diagonal is 18. And then, the diagonal is a square, and the","one could look at a section of the world, like the solar system, and ask, what is the probability that something happens that has never happened befor","well, now, you see, 719, it's 930, it's... it's 8.160, it's, well, no, wait a","I would have been at least 30 degrees south, but I would not have been 30 miles from there, because I'm 30 miles north. But I would have had to","I'm in a boat...a boat on a lake. I'm a fish in a lake. And I am in a boat. There are many fish, and the boat is going along with them","... and if you had to cut it in the middle, which one would you choose? The one that is closer to the center of the circle. The one that makes it look","a man in a black hat and a gray coat, and a gray hat, is sitting on a bench, and it's a red bench, and he's reading the book. ... It's a","and what is it, what's it like? Well, it's like, it's kind of, like a, a...it's like, like, a little, little, like, like","but now I know... what the number of a number is. like, if you had a number like 336, and if you divided by 36, you could make it","that I think... that there is a limit to what you can do with a finite amount of space and time... so we have the maximum of... the maximum of space a","and then that's just the beginning of what you'll need to do to get all of the different things. And so it's going to be some more of those and then s","now we are back at the top, and we are looking at the Earth. And it's a very, very long, long way down from here, you know. So it's a long way","I don't want to do any work on this. It's already finished. I don't have any money. I don't need any money. All I need is the 128 bits","And then I thought, hmm. Now I'm thinking about the sun. I'm thinking that the sun is always there. It doesn't move. It's like it's a stationary point","The body is a kind of complex wave structure. And the wave is the only thing that is moving, and the body is just the wave pattern in space and time. ","I see a very interesting thing: I see the white circle as a point at the center, but it is a point that is changing continuously. It is very interesti","this is the first time I have been in this position. I have to get back into it. I have never been in this place before. There's no more of that. I wa","I'm saying 'what' because the words are the object of my awareness, the container for my awareness, it is what I am aware of, so it is not only a way ","we're going to have to build a system to support it, we're going to need a new system to support that. How do we build that? We'll probably need a sys","[14] ... [15] ... [16] ... [17] ... [18] ... [19] ... [20] ... [0000","a simple line of code: if (A) B; if (B) C; if (C) D; if (D) E; ... where A, B, C, D,","I'm sitting in my chair, I'm thinking. I'm thinking about something. I'm thinking of something. I think it is about thinking. It is a little bit more ","I'm thinking about the thought experiment. I am trying to describe the problem in words. I am thinking about the difference between the 'I' and the 'm","what's the definition of an n-sphere? n = 1, S1 is just a circle, and the point at the top is its north pole, and the bottom is its south pole","I know how to calculate the circumference of a circle using the integral of the circle. Let the circle be described by the equation x^2 + y^2 = R^2, f","I'm going to go to the front and see if I can find any of my friends that are going to be here... No... There's no friend at the end... They're all at","well, there was one that's almost a half-sphere and it has an inner curvature, and if you project it onto a sphere, then what you get is a flat surfac","oh, it's like a lot of things in the universe, there's a lot of forces, so a lot of those things are not even there. There's just a lot of different k","well, I know, the world is composed of elements, and one of the elements that makes up the world is atoms and the atom is composed of protons and neut","I want to come up with some function, maybe a function in terms of time, which describes the behavior of a particle over time, such as the function th","I think about my work here, in the office. I think about it all the time, all the time. There's this equation I'm trying to solve. I know how to do it","and the sun is going down and it's a bit of a blur. That's how it would look. And then you've got a couple of rays of sunlight coming out of it, comin","so then, there's a sphere that is on the surface of the cone, that is the cross section of the sphere and the cone, and I don't know why the cone has ","I'm doing that. I'm not moving. I'm staying there. I can't move. I have to be doing this and I am. I can't get up. I can only be","I see this one guy in a white suit. And it's a white room. He has a white suit, a white room, a white person. The room is a white room with a white","[I think about a table. It's an ideal table, because it has no edges, only round. And that is why it doesn't have a front or a back. And it doesn't","I feel a little bit tired. I see a rectangle. I feel a little bit, yeah, a rectangle is an infinite set of lines. And it goes on forever. A point has ","and that's one of them that I just did in my head, and I know that it's a triangle, but it doesn't matter, because it's just a point. And, so,","it is all the same thing. All of it is the same thing and there's the same thing as this. I just don't know which one of them is the same as this. The","but I know what you think about... oh. This is the point, of course. When we use the words of a person, it is in the name of the person, which is his ","I wonder where the great and the small come from, and where the small and the great go, and what the great and small are. And that is the most beautif","I was thinking of a big tree. A big tree with a big branch, and on the branch is a big stone. And on the stone is the number three. And I am looking a","then, I think there must be a law which governs the change from the past to the present. It is, in fact, not possible to imagine a time in which all t","I am thinking now that my consciousness is being divided. There is a conscious stream, the one I am aware of, and it is flowing around this machine, i","It's a black cube which is rotating, and at some point in time it's rotated so that a black square is the front. And this cube is rotating in a horizo","it's a matter of having a set of objects to play with, and that's all, and I want to make a system of objects. And there are 6 dimensions of the unive","and they go around the circle and they take the numbers and they put them in there and then they put the numbers into the second number and then they ","I could also tell you how the name of the group came to be. And it was because that's the way that we worked. We started to work in groups, and we too","[thinking out loud] ... now you see the one on the right ... the one on the left. We've got a little circle, which is the size of the universe ... the","it's 3 and 3 and a half. 3.5 14 times 3. 14 42 70 105. 10.","the thought, that there is no 'thing' at the end of the thing. The 'thing' is just the image of the thing, which is what it means to be a thing in the","you know, this is all just nonsense, because the words themselves don't mean anything, they're just symbols that stand for something else. There is a ","but it is an error, a false image, and one that is not the same as the actual image; the actual image, that is to say, the actual object, is an error;","and this one here, this one, this is the one that I always carry with me. If I could explain this one to you, then I'd be finished. In order to do thi","this is a word, I'm not thinking of anything. ... This is a word. ... And now, in my mind, I see this word. ... I'm not seeing the word, I","And what I see now, what I see is, there's some, like, this is the way that I see it, like a sort of a three-dimensional shape, which is the shape of","I'm sitting here in my own space, and I'm going to see myself from a certain angle, and then from a certain other angle, and from a certain third angl","a small object, a small square object that is attached to a string, and the string is pulled down, and the object falls and breaks, and there is no mo","there's a long distance between here and there ... a lot of space ... in between ... which is ... is empty. I have no idea where it is. It's not empty","a... a... a sequence of... of... of words... I am not a human being... I am an... an object... that is a... a three dimensional... a three... a three","Now I am looking at a little dot in space. And it's a dot in the space of 3D space. It's in the middle of the room where I am sitting. And it","this is the surface of the earth, here's the earth's surface; now we're moving so far into space that the surface of the globe is disappearing, and th","[sings] 'I'll be seeing you' [song on record], and that's a song on record, and the record is in a record-player. Now the record-player is an object","if you add up the first three numbers in a sequence, that sum, as it were, is the first number that repeats. So it is with the sequence of numbers tha","the numbers of the years, the numbers of the days, the numbers 0f the minutes of the hours, the numbers of the seconds. In this way the time, the dura","13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,","I am looking for a pair of shoes ... the kind which fit around the ankle, but with a toe which is narrow ... they are in my mind now, and the picture ","and I'm going to look at the table, and then I'm going to think, now I want to turn the table over, I'm going to turn it over, and then as I do","this is a sequence of a lot of zeros, and the number of zeros is 7. and this is a sequence that has 3 zeros in it. And this is a zero followed by a","and he's going to have to move here, so he'll have to start out here. Then he's going to move along here. So it's not quite a straight line. It's a","the way the way the way a thing is the thing it is ... the way it is is what it is ... to the right is to the right to the right. The way to the right","a star in a clear sky, the sky is dark but a star shines and then a star becomes a dot of light on the dark sky. A dot of light of the dot of light, a","then I'm going to say, okay, I'm going to use a lot of the same kind of information that I'm going to draw from the previous thought, so I'm going to ","And then there's the fact that, as you can see, it's a circle. You can see the circle, because the circle, which is a point of view, and the point of ","and then I was looking at a building and I was looking through its windows, and it was a large building, a large building... and then I looked down th","a guy's talking to a girl, and he's talking about how he's gonna buy her a bike. I don't know, he's gonna give her a bike and then he's gonna ride","I was in my room with my friend, and we were talking, and I was listening to a tape of this thing. I was listening to the tape and my friend was talki","the little doggie, it's just the little doggie in the middle of the little circle, and then the little dogie is going to run along in the middle, and ","what I could say, that's it. ... It's a little bit like this, you know. ... This is a little bit, you know, this is a little pointy part, you","oh, oh. You're not thinking about anything right now. [pause] I'm looking at my right foot. [pause]. Oh, I'm thinking about what I'm wearing now. I","It's been raining. It's been a very long time. I've been sitting here with this idea in my mind for quite a while. I'm thinking of my cat, but it's be","and the moon is in the sky, and it's about half full, I guess, and I think it's 12.00 in the morning, and I'm here in the room","it's not as though there were no more words or thoughts or images, there are, but there are always a lot of distractions, and when one is there, there","I see a line with many black dots at random positions in the space. ... This is what I'm thinking of. I see a square, a square is a shape of 90 degree","And they're like a circle. So, these lines make a circle. And there are three lines, and that's a circle. The two lines that are in the circle. I don'","and then we come up to this, and I don't know how to describe it, except that it's a long thin square. The sides are all the same length. ...It's like","and here it comes, another one... now it's an arrow and now a triangle, now it's a triangle with a cross inside it, and it's a cross with three arrows","I have a blue background. There's a blue square. I have a circle. It's a blue circle. A blue circle with a yellow dot in the middle. It's like a blue ","what is the difference between 1, 1, and 10, 2, 20, 0, 30, 100, 99,","I'll add some more... 42 + 60... 60 + 60, 61... 31... 11 + 11, 1","a tall tree with lots of branches... I see a circle made of blue blocks... the end of a stick... the end of another stick... a line of three cubes... ","the bottom of the blue cup was yellow... the green circle was the right one, and the yellow circle was the left one... and I looked at the red one, an","there's a dog...oh, no, a cat...a cat's head...that cat's head was a head of grass...oh, wait, a head of hay...oh, yes!","it's an ice-cream cone, it's a glass of ice-cream with a little chocolate on the bottom and then a scoop of ice-cream and then a little chocolate and ","I see a little boy, and a little girl, and a big girl, and there are three of them, and I think it's a baby, and a baby, a baby, it's","like I was like, like, a big fat bear, and like the other bear was a little bear, and I was like pushing the little bear away. And the little bear was","you're looking at the sky right now. And I'm looking at my foot. And you're looking a t the sky. And you'll be looking at the stars. And my foot. Ther","Oh... a little bird is singing outside! (sings) A little bird is singin' out- (sings)... Oohhh! A little birdy is singin'. (s","it's just like, you know, if I'm not standing up, if I fall down, and I'm not falling down, I'm just laying flat on the floor, and then I would","I'd like to put the book there. That's an easy job for me. I have a picture of a lady, and she's holding a baby and it's like this baby. The baby","then he goes into his house, and his house is all different colors. All the walls are different colors, like a rainbow. Then he goes back into his roo","the very word 'doughnut'. I see this shape. I think it's a doughnut. Then it gets big and it gets smaller and smaller until it looks like it's gonna f","I am a mother of three. I am not a good mother. I want to be a good mother but I can't. I don't want to be one because I have no time. I","I am standing in a long straight hallway...I can see at the end of the hallway a door...I look at it and it looks like the door to the castle...I walk","this is how they look like, these things I can see... now I see that the things that I see in this picture are not all the same color. The things on t","it's like an empty bowl. There's an image of an empty bowl that I can see in my mind's eye. That's a bowl that's like a big cup with a handle, but","this is like a big sheet of paper, it's white, and it has a dark area in the middle... and then this is like... you know, like... it's a circle, and","It's a piece of the brain which has a lot of parts in it, which are not well organized, so the information is very important in that part of the brain","we're living in the world of time. And as I said in the first session, this world of time is the world of perception and the world of experience, beca","this is the first time I have been able to feel the existence of God, I think. I am in a state of calm, of equanimity. I am experiencing, through the ","so, if there was an essential thing in the universe, it would be that there were no essences. That there was nothing but an interplay between the eter","I am a thinking being. I am a thinker, but not a thinker in a way of being a thinker that is limited and defined. I'm a thinking being in the sense th","I'm a man in a body and I know it, I know I'm a body, and I know I have a soul which I perceive and that which is this body is a body, is","it's so complicated to try to sort out the order of this stuff. And there's some sense of it. Some sense that this is going to get organized. The mind","and then you see that the past and the future are just different ways of seeing the same thing. That's a very simple idea to say it's just like the mi","I'm not just a being who's composed of molecules and atoms and energy and whatnot, I'm a thinking being that is connected to this universe in a way th","I think that this is a very interesting thing and it may be a way of understanding, because what I'm experiencing here is that I can become aware of s","I've been having an idea about the nature of existence and this and that. This is the nature of an existence that is, say, a body, and that body is a,","and it is a fact, it is not a mere belief, that this thing is happening. I say to myself, I am experiencing this thing which is the world, as a proces","I have the idea of an old man sitting there, and he's thinking of how to make a chair. But the old man doesn't know what a chair is, so he makes it fr","the idea of time as being a single object that is now, and then in the past, and then going toward the future. So I say that, and I say: is that the o","[I]f you think of a word and then think of the word which is related to it, and then the word related to that, and so on, it's easy to generate an inf","the reason why I am sitting here in this chair, this body, this chair, is because I'm thinking about it. And that's because I'm in a state where I hav","this is a lot of information, but I don't have a sense of the direction, but this is the direction I am going towards, I am going to try to understand","I have the feeling that I am going to die...I feel as though I'm not alive. I feel that my body is going to die and that I'm going to die. I can't","and we are a part of it, we are part of the life. That's our role as life. We are part of life, and we are part of everything. We are like the grain","And my attention has drifted. And it's not a drift that's the kind of drift that's a result of attention itself. It is not the result of my attention.","it's a dream, isn't it? It's a dream of sorts that I can't quite access. I'm dreaming of being in the dark, and I see a little light and I see","the fact that I know that I have a mind that is aware of me, and is aware of what is going on, is that a sign that there is something in the world whi","infinite dimensions are implied in the equation. So that the equation is true in all dimensions and we may say that it is true in an infinite number o","I see this as an invitation to become an expert in myself, in order to have a better grasp of the nature of the self. I have found that I can experien","and the thing is that a lot of this is subconscious. You're always making up new things to try and make the world make sense, and you have to do this ","we're going to have to make a little more space... I'll probably have to make another space... I'm not really sure what to make the space for, but I k","so if you're looking at the world and it's a 3-dimensional world, that means you've got a certain amount of information you need to describe it. And I","and here I am, sitting on a chair and thinking about what I'm thinking, and then I'm aware that I'm thinking about this. And then the consciousness it","and what would that be? What would it be for me to have my eyes closed and my mind closed? What would that be like? I'd like to explore that. I don't ","the dream, the dream of the soul. The soul is the essence of the thing. And the dream is the soul in the process of its birth, in the process of unfol","the same, the same. Same things happen to us. The same things happen to me, and it happens to you, and it happened to everybody. And therefore, it is ","and it is impossible to change what has been done. This is the first condition for the possibility of an alternative to the present regime. And the al","this is how it happens that I have been able to remain a student for a long time, and it is this that is responsible for the development of the facult","the present situation, the present condition, is the same as the past situation, the past condition. That is the nature of this world. So what is the ","the other day I thought of something that has always troubled me about the universe, something that has troubled me since I was a child. What I meant ","I was very disturbed at the time to see the idea of a world that is only a surface phenomenon, a surface reflection, an illusion, and to have no idea ","I've had these strange experiences with myself, where I could see that there was a connection between my mental life, the mental world, and the physic","[t]here are things that happen in the world that seem to me to be quite abnormal. And what are abnormal things? If we are able to describe the normal,","what I know is that I'm not a person with a brain but a person with a body. I'm not an organism, but a system. I am not an individual, but a social be","It is a very rich world. It is not only a world of perception. There are all kinds of experiences which cannot be perceived. The mind is also the mean","we could talk about the physical world, which is full of imperfection and conflict, and yet it has order and structure and regularity, which is a mani","that's all there was to that. And that's all that's left of it, it's all that can be, and that's all we have to go on. So how are we to","I am not here for what I am. I am here for what is happening to me now. That is all I can perceive. And that is all I am. And then, if I wish","I've had many conversations in which I have described a theory which I was not satisfied with as yet, and which, I would think, should be described as","we have this moment of self awareness and this moment of consciousness, and what are they, that which is perceived by consciousness? ... Well, conscio","this is a very simple thing. It is just that I have the right to feel, if I want to feel, to want to have my own existence. That is to say, it is to","the present moment is not given as a whole to us in its integrity, it is rather given in a partial way as a thought, a memory, or a feeling, so it can","and this is a story. That's how it has to be. We have to make a story, or something, and we do it with words, and we can't do it with a picture","the other hand and the other hand, the right hand and the left hand, they are together in their being, but they are not in their essence. It's like on","I am listening to the sounds of the trees in the forest. It is as if I am looking at the forest with my inner eye, the eye that sees not by the light ","a light... light... I am the light... light ... the light is a light. I am a light. Light is light. Light and darkness are both light and darkness. Li","I am the first person to whom this earth is revealed as a great treasure, as a gift, a love, as a reality. In all my thoughts and memories, it is pres","I'm a poet, I've been a poet all along. I'm the poet of my own being. I've been the poet all along, but I've never really known it, because the","and then I came into the room and it was as if the world was falling into pieces, and I found myself alone, and I thought, 'Who is going to come and t","you're still here... you're not gone... but I think you're going... you're in the process of going... and you're here with me... in the middle... wher","and there is a new world which is there, and this new world is not one. And the new world is what we call the soul, the soul of the world, or the worl","And so this is how we arrive at a state of thought. We arrive at a state of infinite thought and the infinite is the totality of the finite. We are in","I have been lying down here, and I am aware of the physical sensations in my body, the sensations of heat and cold, and the sensation of life, that my","it's a place, a kind of a place that we create, a place of love, where all beings are accepted, where we're all accepted, and where we can express our","we are... we are in this reality. The reality in which we exist is not an objective reality, which is only a given thing. There is no thing but an exp","a little light, not too bright, but it gives you a sense of safety. You're not alone, you are not a victim of the fear, you are in control. It's not j","my brain is thinking that we should use the same technology for the brain as we have for the internet, the telephone, the television. But the brain is","the Earth is at rest in the centre of the universe and all the movements of the universe, all the movements that are necessary to explain the world an","in the last few years I have been able to enter into a kind of silence, a kind of nothingness. I have been listening to a lot of different kinds of mu","a wave of energy and a wave of light and a wave of love ... I can see the light of the sun ... I can feel the love of the universe ... and then I'm ba","I'm going to be doing a little bit of a mind-survey now, where I'm just going to try to take a few moments to just listen to my own thoughts, and to l","I'm here in the darkness, in my body, with all the senses available, with all my organs available, with the whole system of my nervous system availabl","this is the present moment, which is always the present moment and never the past moment and never a future moment, only the present moment. And when ","I've come to see that the self and the other are inextricable, and that's what I mean by the absolute, by the transcendent. The absolute is that which","I was thinking about this story, and I was wondering what you could do, what could you do in meditation? You could let go of the concept of meditation","I have a vision of you and me in the future, you and I in the future. And there, we see a lot of things that we are doing in the future together. And ","And the woman, the old woman, the little old woman, has a house, a cave in her soul. She lives there in her own cave. She has a house. And the child i","and I remember when I was a little boy and I was watching this film and I was sitting there and I was having this wonderful time, and there was this g","and then he gets up and goes to sleep, and I have to get up and go to sleep. I have to go to sleep at night. But when I'm asleep I'm not sleeping beca","there's this song that's playing in my head right now. And I'm thinking it's the song of the sun. The sun, that's what it is. The sun is a song.","I'm in a cave. I can see a door in front of me, a door made of light, with an opening, like a keyhole. I open the door. The door opens to","I've been trying to find a way to reach a point where I feel like I'm not attached to my body. And that's been really difficult, but it's been like a ","I'm imagining myself, I'm a bit of a different shape than my body right now. I am this form, but this form is like a lotus, it is like the shape of th","we're all on a journey of our own. We all have a journey to go on, and it's one we cannot choose for ourselves. We can only move towards the journey. ","and you could hear the water falling and you could see the light fall and you could feel the ground and you could hear yourself breathe, and you could","And as I was going on to the next level of the mind, I began to get more and more intense and then I felt this sense of energy that was expanding. And","It's as if we're being born in another world and we're being introduced to the new world. Our perception of ourselves and our relationship to this new","there is a movement that is taking place, and then suddenly the movement stops. And then you begin to see a movement again. There is a sense of motion","there's no reason, that I can think of, for the body to be here, to be this. And, for this body to be alive. And, so, what is the reason?","and I'm listening to this song, and it's so beautiful. It's the music. And I'm so moved. And then it's just a thought. It's like an idea. I","[I]t's as if the sound of the words themselves were a kind of prayer to the source, a way of accessing a part of oneself that is not ordinarily availa","and I have a new relationship. And I think that this relationship is going to take a lot of effort to understand myself and the other person. I feel i","I'm happy I'm going to live in a world where I can see and understand. The world of all the different kinds of beings that we're all interconnected wi","and what does it mean to be a child? What does it mean for a child to be a person, to be alive, and what does a person have in common with the univers","I'm experiencing a sense of timelessness, an awareness of timelessness... I can feel a sense of continuity. I feel like I'm at home... I feel like it'","and there it was again, that light. But it was not a light at all. It was the light that is the ground of light. Light is not this light. It is the li","I'm trying to focus, to be focused. And I'm trying to relax. I can't relax. And I can't focus. It's like I have to be in two places at once","the meaning of this thing that you have made. To make something and have its meaning. That's not an act, it's a process. ... This is the beginning of ","my body. I've noticed that in my body there is an energy that goes from the head and the mouth, to the right shoulder, then down to the left shoulder,","The wind is a good guide for me. I know where I am if I listen to it. I'm a sensitive, open person. I'm not attached to the mind, to thinking and thin","in the center of the field...a point of light...a point...and then a line...it moves, the line moves...an image of the universe...it's the space in wh","[s]ince my head is not open, I feel nothing. Nothing exists. There is only the experience of this empty space, and there is only the feeling of this s","you know, the world is like a house, and I can think of things that are different, and I can see things, and I know what they are and I know them, but","the power of the mind is really astonishing, that the mind is actually the source of all of the creative activity of this universe...this mind, is a c","the light of the body ... and then the light of being. The light of being, not the light of thought. The light that is beyond the light of thoughts. T","the whole thing is the problem, it's like being in a dream state, where you feel like you're trapped, that you have no control over it, and it's very ","I have a very strange experience. It is like a dream, but it is not. It is a dream, and at the same time it is not a dream. It is something that exist","and I'm in the middle of this other thought that is just the opposite of everything I was just thinking, so I don't really know where it is going or i","the question of the role of the unconscious in our existence. I don't know why, but I'm in the position of being able to answer this question now. The","I'm on a bridge. There are two columns that support it. And I'm a bird flying above. And I feel it. And there is a force that goes in. And I am.","we were born in a universe that was already a world and that was already in motion, with all of the things that it is and all of the other things that","I can remember a time, for example, when I was in a state of intense, clear attention. I was aware of the whole environment, everything that was going","I was in a house of worship, and I was thinking, 'I'm a man, and I'm in a house of women, and women have been my friends in this house of worship all","I remember the night, about a year ago, I saw, like, a butterfly, a blue butterfly. It was a little creature that had a little blue wing, and it was j","it is just like the music. You can't play the music in the right way if you don't understand the music. If you want to understand the music you need t","there are a lot of things, but I don't know why, but I feel I'm in a state of confusion, but at the same time there's a sense of freedom. I think I","the flow of consciousness in this moment is in a very, very deep way, it is very, very, very familiar. And also at the same time very foreign and comp","there is a lightness that I want to describe to you, that is, in fact, the reason that I want you to be present and listen to what is being said. Ther","And I'm thinking of a body and its physical form. What does that mean, physically, that we have a body that is separate from this body, and in what wa","it's just an empty field. It's like a black box of consciousness. And consciousness is not the content of experience, but the structure of experience.","I remember a time when I was on an aeroplane. The air hostess was taking the passengers' coats and giving them to them. Then I remember myself thinkin","I'm trying to figure out what the meaning is, what the purpose of this session is. It's to experience the world. It's to make contact with the world. ","I've been thinking about the relationship between consciousness and the brain, and it seems to me that consciousness is a state of the brain, as the b","and so on, and so on, but it's a bit more than just, 'This is what you are doing at this point in time.' There is an interesting relationship between ","and I'm looking at these words and I'm reading them. The words are not being read. You can't say that you're reading the words because the words don't","the one that I am most aware of, as a result of being trained in psychoanalysis, is the one that I know as the ego. And that is the one that is the su","and it was something that I'd never done before, but I thought it was something I wanted to do, and it's a little bit like the experience of going int","And then there's this feeling of the body, this feeling of sensation, but it's not just sensation, it's more of a kind of energy. The body is full of ","I am a dreamer, I am an architect, I am a dream architect, I'm building something that is not concrete but I can see it in the future. I don't really ","and then suddenly this whole thing of the brain, this whole thing is no longer in the brain. I feel it. I feel the brain is not a container or a matri","And then I'm really really curious, how would we measure the awareness of the present moment? In a very basic sense, maybe I would say the awareness o","and then I go down there in a dream-like state... it's a dream-like state. It's like there's a dream that I've been having. And when I'm in that state","the thoughts are here, I think, and I am thinking and that is the way I see myself. The thoughts, the sensations of the body are present here. I can s","there was a man walking along and he was walking along, and as he was walking along there was a place that was empty and that was, as it were, the emp","the image that appears is of the two hands that are linked together, the left hand is my left hand and it is linked to the right hand. It is like that","my whole life is like a book of ideas, or a book of dreams, or a movie. That's what life is for me: a book of images. A book of images and ideas,","and here are some other feelings that I have. I have feelings that have to do with the whole universe, I have feelings of the whole universe. And I ha","the sound of a guitar. It's a guitar that I heard a while ago on the beach, and I'm imagining it and the sound of it is coming out of the air. It's co","I'm imagining myself in front of a wall, and I'm drawing it, I'm drawing, and I see this kind of light, and the light is getting more and more bright ","I'm looking at a field of greenery. It's green, but it's also a mixture of colors that make it look green, because of the light. And I see a little sp","the sun is up, it's morning, you wake up, you wake, you're awake, and you see, it's a lovely day and there's this feeling, and there's the wind","and so, it feels like we're moving to the next moment and that moment has a certain color and form, and the form and the color are both present within","[The participant is] now becoming aware that her consciousness is an energy field that can change form. Her body and brain are moving in the field, li","the brain is the space-time continuum itself. You're not in a brain, you are the brain, you're the space-time itself. You know, the brain is the consc","a small piece of matter, an electron, a quark. The very matter of the universe. Everything we know of, everything we know of is composed of these tiny","I've been looking at it from the opposite end. I am looking from a different angle. I'm not seeing it. I'm looking in. I'm seeing my own internal worl","the color of the sky is in some sense an abstract concept that doesn't really exist, because if it is an abstraction then it is not concrete. There is","And I am a thought being, I am the thought, I am not separate from it, it is not separate from me. I have no sense of myself as separate from my own t","It's funny. There's this line. It's very interesting. And it's, I don't know, it's not necessarily the truth, but it's very true for me. It's","the beginning of a thought I'm not sure about. I'm sure of the end, but I'm not exactly sure about how to get there. It's a little like how you get to","I have to be really careful, because my attention is going to be going back and forth between a lot of things. And if I don't keep myself in control, ","the idea that you are a unified entity, or the self, is a construct of the mind that serves a function in terms of identity, or, a sense of self, but ","there are two types of energy that are created in the body: the energy that is created through movement, that is through your physical body, and the e","this is the beginning of this thing. A feeling of being there, of being in that space. And it's not that I'm looking at the world, but it's a feeling ","I have the feeling that it's an experience, but at the same time it's an awareness of the experience. I have this feeling that it is an experience but","It feels like the energy of the body, that energy that I'm aware of. I can feel it as a flow of energy. I can also feel it as the presence of light. I","I have just had an image that the universe is the body of a great being, an image that is very vivid. That image was a great big body in space with a ","what was the dream that came out of you before the dream came out of me? The dream that I dreamt before you came out of this dream that came before me","what do you call 'I'? You call me 'I', don't you? What do you call me? Well, you know, my mother had me. My father had me. So I","I have a good feeling about this. I feel like a good person. And the world, too. We are all good, or we are all bad. And everything is good. But the w","I'm now saying that the 'I' is not the ego. It's not a thing. The 'I' thinks. The 'I' can know. The 'I' knows the ego","you know how much time has passed between these two things? Because, you know, time is the only way in which we can really understand that we have had","the moment that is the present moment, in which the observer of this present moment exists is always the same moment. We are always in the moment. Now","I am thinking about a number of things right now, and I don't know exactly why. It's just there. And it's a very powerful thing to say: I don't unders","so much of what we do is happening in our minds in a very fast and very automatic way, and when we do that we don't know what it is. We don't know whe","I don't want to be an actor or a singer. I don't want to have that. I don't even know if I can. I know I could do it, but I don't","it's funny how our thoughts don't exist for very long, like they're just passing by, just popping up. Then, for no good reason, we get stuck on a thou","I wonder if the body is going to become less important when you have a good connection to your body. That is, are we going to have to create a connect","it's kind of like you know, I'm not sure that I can just stop and have a little quiet moment. Like maybe I'm just not there yet. Maybe it's not that I","there's a lot of things that I have to do, that I have planned, but they're not done. And there are a lot of unfinished business that I have, that I c","[I]t's important to see the difference between thinking and thinking out loud. In the first one, it is about the content, the thoughts, the ideas and ","I wonder if I really could love someone if it would change me, if I really was willing to be changed by them. Is the desire to love something? The des","the music is not there. I do not like it when it is not there, that is what I'm trying to find. It's not there, it's not here, it's a kind","I've come to this place... This is the way I am in this moment, at this place, and this is the way that I experience life. I can't help but notice tha","I wonder if what I'm thinking here is not just an observation or something I'm observing in myself and what I observe as myself is not a different par","there is something that is not really related to what we're talking about here... something that I can see with the eyes, and in a way that is not vis","there is a light at the center of every thing. That is the real and true essence of any object and the real and true meaning of life, it's not the sur","you know how I was thinking when I was sitting in the chair in the church. It was a very interesting experience, a very beautiful experience, very cle","I just did it again. I'm in my office, my desk in front of me, and I just started thinking, I was looking around my office, and then I looked at my ha","we'll be sitting in this chair, then we'll be standing up and stretching, then we're going to go to the garden...then there is the door, a door into t","I can see, I see, I can see that there is a world of difference between what I think I do when I am not thinking of it, and what I do when my attentio","we have to build the world, we have to build ourselves, we have to bring about our own state, not somebody else's. And to do this we need to be able t","I am not aware of any boundaries. This is a wonderful experience. I am aware of a lot of space that I'm in. I'm aware of a great deal of movement, not","And you know what I just thought about? I can't remember. It's something like: you are standing there. You're doing something. You are aware of your b","my brain, in this moment, is making a connection, and I'm aware of it. And so, I am aware that I am making a connection between this body here, which ","a woman is coming toward me, she's coming toward me and she's coming into my awareness and I'm being able to sense her presence, but I'm not being abl","and I want to be in the present moment and I want to experience the present moment with as much awareness and as much presence and as much clarity as ","and I want to say something, I'm in the middle of something, I don't know what it is, I feel like saying it out loud. I want to ask: I want to know","And then, of course, we're all born from a process, we're part of a process that's alive, and it's all just one thing, one thing is always happening. ","what's the difference between a conscious, a semi-conscious, a subconscious, an unconscious state, a thought? What's the difference, if there is a dif","my hand. It's here in this position and I have a sense of it, as it were, of the position. And, yes, it's in this position. Now, I'm thinking","I'm seeing this figure, this figure here, in front of me. And I'm aware of it, it's just there. It's not moving. It's just a figure. But it","a place that's a sort of place of meditation and contemplation. You know the sense of meditation, a place of meditation, contemplation, it's like a fi","a... a... a thought... I am thinking of... what... what is... the... the... the experience of being. I don't have the... the words for it. I can imagi","there was an incident with a colleague, a professor of mine, that was very frustrating and very painful, and the feelings in me were very painful. I w","you're sitting with your eyes closed and you're observing your mind. What's happening in your mind? ... the mind is at the same time active and quiet.","I remember having a dream that was kind of like this, and the dream was a little bit disturbing. In the dream I was in a large space, kind of like an ","and then I'm looking at the face, and I see this man standing there, and he looks kind of angry at me. And then I say, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean","I have a feeling I am being watched...I am experiencing the sensation that I am being observed in an involuntary manner...there is a feeling of being ","I'm looking at my thoughts and feeling and my body's energy, which is a lot like being in a dream state. I feel myself being a part of the dream state","And the world is alive. It's alive and it is in movement, and it has life, and it's all vibrating, and all these different frequencies. The frequencie","this is the end of the line. This is the end, the end of all things. It's a simple thing, right? We are not this body. We are this energy that flows t","we're not actually conscious of our bodies. The body is just like the air we breathe; it's just part of the universe, part of the field, part of what ","we are very close to the origin of our being. I don't want to use the word 'God.' I use the word 'being,' in the sense of 'reality' or 'what","a piece of art that has been given to me, and I feel a lot of love coming from it, and a lot of power, and I see my own self in it, and the same","it's an interesting thing to see the relationship between the two. I would think, there's two poles, right? I think the polar opposite. If I have to t","I'm going to be back here and see the same things. I'm going back and I'm going forward and I'm just going to be going through the same things over an","I remember the words of a poem: 'I am the rhythm of your life'. The rhythm of the universe. The rhythm of life. I am that. And I am the rhythm that yo","The light comes out of my back, and the light is a shining of pure life. I am the light, I am the love, I am infinite life. I do not feel separate. I","I know there is an eternal and unchanging light. This is the light which is the source of all life. The light is infinite and therefore unchanging. Wh","And I have the image of the image of a little girl, a little child, with a face like a rose, with an indescribable smile, and I see her in a great hou","now I am standing here... standing... and... I am here with myself. I am... I am looking at my body, and the body is... I am standing in the middle of","the red ball...I am an ordinary being who is capable of thinking and feeling. This is my body which I feel in every moment of my life and which is a s","The tree and the circle. The circle of the tree... I feel in the tree, the circle of the whole tree, the root system, the trunk and the branches, the ","And I am a small piece of a bigger, bigger whole, in a larger whole, and I'm part of a whole and this whole is part of a bigger whole. So I'm part,","I feel very tired, I can't sleep. The dream I just had, the one I saw in the middle of sleep, was very important. It is a part of the self, and I","that's an interesting word: it means that. I think the word means 'that', which is a very interesting word. In my mind the word 'that' is not just a w","I see my mind as a kind of pool of information in which each bit of information is a little bit of color. The light is always shining through the pool","a certain sense of flow. It is not a flow in the sense of a single, unbroken stream, but rather a flow in a larger sense, a flow of streams that flow ","the form of consciousness which we have in common with the universe, we may say that this is a very, very dense form of consciousness, the way we expe","and there's a very clear idea of the universe. That is the idea of the center of the universe as the place of origin. And this is the idea that everyt","now you're thinking of what you're going to think about, and you're thinking that you're not thinking about it, and you might be able to get out of th","and so I see myself in the act of writing this down, and I can see myself at a very very very subtle level that this is a very big deal, it is a big d","and I see myself as this being that is always in this state of becoming. In that sense I have no ego, because there's no 'I' as such; but I am this be","the other, the other... the other... [the other is the] other, that's... the other. There are three... one and the other. One is not the other. That's","I was looking at the moon and it was bright. I was looking at my body and it was black. Then the moon began to fade, it was disappearing in the sky. M","the idea of a spherical universe. I see this little speck of light, which is not the sun, but the sun is an aspect of this little speck. The little sp","I think this is a way in which you can experience reality and experience the world through your mind, through the mind's own means and not through the","I'm a woman who loves to fly. I'm flying, I'm a woman, I'm flying. I'm a bird. I'm a god, I'm an animal. I'm an","I see you. I am seeing you in my mind, and I'm seeing your brain. Your brain is a huge computer, and you are an interface between that huge computer a","and in a certain sense, the person who is the thinker, the one who is thinking, is always present in the thought and so it is a kind of presence. I wa","the person who's interested in me is interested in me not as a whole, but as a certain function within me, which is the function of being interested i","so it's a whole lot of information that I get, and then I have to reduce it to a number of things that I can work with, so that I can get some feedbac","and if I wanted to do something, like make a choice, and I had a choice, then I'd probably have two or three of these possibilities, and they would co","that's why we need to be aware, if we're to be in control, to be able to make choices. We need to be able not to be victims. I mean, the victim is","that is all I am going to say about the problem. Now that I've said it, I am free to leave it, so now that I'm free to leave this problem, I'm free","and then you will be, in a way, more aware of your mind's limitations; that is, it's just not enough. And that's OK because that is where the whole of","The state of being alone in the world, and the state of being with others in the world is quite different. The first is more an in the world state, th","and so we will be able to talk about how they work and the relation between them and what they have to do. How can we describe a body without body, a ","the word 'image' is a word that, in the theory of meaning, is not the word for anything. It's the word for the way something appears to us. There is n","the sense of 'I' is, in a way, a very artificial construct. That is to say that if I were to try to describe my sense of being, I could never describe","my head has been in a whirl all day. I am in a sort of turmoil. I am not doing anything at all. I have been working, but what I've done is not useful.","and there's a way to think about it, if you have a certain type of knowledge. And there are ways to think about knowledge, and you can think about it ","And that was the reason why, when we were talking about the universe, the world, the whole thing, we were talking to each other, but when we were, I w","I'm not sure I was just trying to take a thought about a thought and, in that sense, I'm not entirely sure that the process I went through is one that","I can remember my whole childhood, I can remember events that have occurred, for example, in my whole life up until now, events that have affected the","now we're not going to see the whole picture, and we're not even going to be able to understand why there is a picture, what we're doing, why we're do","I'm actually in a kind of trance state and there's a sort of background noise in my head. I'm not aware of this background noise, but it is there. The","[the] most important thing to do is to listen and pay attention to what is going on in your mind. [...] it is important to be fully present to the mom","a sequence of events. But I don't see this as a process of computation; I see it as a process which is more of a flow of energy through my body, in a ","and if I had a choice, if I had the ability to choose, I would choose this. I would choose not to be a part of it, not to be part of society in any wa","and we can understand that as we go through our lives, we are being tested at a high frequency of levels. But there are always levels which are being ","what I'm doing right now is imagining my life. I'm imagining this whole series of thoughts. And it's a very long thought process that leads to this. A","I am here and you are there; I am here and this is what I see, and there are objects of many kinds. And here is a moment of time, and there is a 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I've been thinking about","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do the experiment again tomorrow, and that I'm going to have","thinking about the fact that I'm in the middle of a study. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm doing","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t","thinking about the fact that I am a student and that I am studying for my exams. I have been thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind. And that's what I've been doing, thinking about","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bank, and that I have to get some money from the bank","thinking about the recording. It's been thinking about the fact that it's been thinking about the recording, a","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts. 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I'm going to have to","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be doing a think-aloud study, and that I'm going to be","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about th","thinking about the way I have been thinking about the way my mind has been thinking about the way I have been ","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t"],["thinking about the things that I have been thinking about in the last ten moments, and then it has been thinki","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do and I haven't got enough time to do it.","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of how to get a job. I've been thinking about the various options, the pros and con","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recordin","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I'm going to be listening to this recor","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about my thoughts, and that I'm","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment with the doctor. I'm thinking about the f","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I'm not sure if I should go now or wait","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my own thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm reco","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of things to do, and","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It's been thinking about the things that I have bee","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. It's a bit like a loop, isn't it?","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I've been thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the recording, and the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and the fact that I'm thinki","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about are ","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recordin","thinking about the problem of how to get to the airport, and then it has been thinking about the problem of ho","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to this tape, and that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about,","thinking about the problem of how to get the computer to do what I want it to do, and how to get it","thinking about the fact that I am in a recording studio, and that I am being asked to think aloud. And I","thinking about the fact that I am not going to be able to get to the airport on time, and I am thinking","thinking about the problem of the square root of two, and the fact that it is irrational, and the proof that i","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my next appointment, and I am thinking about how I can","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this study. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about this st","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I am listening to a tape recorder and that I am thinking about what I am thinking","thinking about the fact that I'm a little bit nervous about the interview. I'm a little bit worried about what","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about are ","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am going to be playing back the recor","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm listening to the recording. I'm think","thinking about the way in which I have been thinking about my mind over the last ten moments. I have been thin","thinking about the way I am going to make a cup of tea. I'm going to put the kettle on the stove","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the things I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things I've been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm going to have to get up and"],["thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the bathroom soon, and that I'm going to have","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking about it","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. And I have been thinking about the fact that ","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my min","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I am going to be in a situation where I have to make a decision, and that I","thinking about the problem of how to get a good idea for a novel. I've been thinking about the characters, the","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of things to do, and I have to get them done. I have","thinking about the problem of how to get to the airport, and then it has been thinking about the problem of ho","thinking about the fact that I am a little bit tired. I am thinking about the fact that I have been working a","thinking about the problem of the square root of 2. I've been thinking about the square root of 2,","thinking about the recording, and the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and the fact that I am thin","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to a recording of my own voice, and that I'm not sure if it","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind being recorded, and that I have been thinking ","thinking about the fact that I am going to have to go to work tomorrow and that I have to get up early in","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how I'm going to","thinking about the things I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things I've been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm being asked to think aloud, and that I","thinking about the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and I have to get up early in the morning,","thinking about the fact that I'm not going to be able to get the job because I'm not good enough. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something, and I'm not sure what it is. I","thinking about the things that I'm thinking about now, and then it's been thinking about the things that I was","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I need to","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I've been thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the problem of the mind, and how to solve it. It's a difficult problem, and I'm not","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about what I am going to say next. I have been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. And that's been going on for the last ten mom","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the bathroom soon, and I'm going to be late","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm going to have to do it again,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and that I've got to get to work on"],["thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my appointment. I am thinking about how I am going to","thinking about the way that I can use my mind to think about the way that I can use my mind to think about","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and I've been thinking about the things that I'm thin","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I have been thinking about the fact that I have to","thinking about the way I've been feeling, and how I've been thinking about the way I've been feeling. And","thinking about the problem of the train. I have been trying to figure out how to solve it. I have been thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this study, and that I'm thinking about my mind. I'm thinking about","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I've been thinking about the fact that I've been","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to listen to the record","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the recording, and about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and about the fact tha","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm wondering if I'm going to be able","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. 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And then I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the things I have to do today. I have to go to the bank, and I have to go to","thinking about the fact that I'm not sure whether I'm going to be able to get a job in the future.","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of the problem of how to solve the problem of how to so","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to finish the task on time. I"],["thinking about the fact that I am about to be interrupted, and that I am going to have to stop talking. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to have to hurry. I'm","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I am a woman, and that I am not a man. I am not a man,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something about the fact that my mind has been thinking a","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my next appointment, and I'm going to have to hurry","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment, and that I'm worried about it, and","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about how it works. I have been thinking about what I am th","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. And then I was thinking about the fact that I have","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the future. I have been thinking about the future of my family, the future of my country, the f","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. It's a bit of a loop, isn't it?","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of the two trains. I was thinking about the distance between the two trains and how","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to a tape recorder and that I'm thinking about the tape recorder an","thinking about the fact that I am listening to a tape recorder, and that I am thinking about what I am thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I've been thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the fact that I am a very good person, and that I am very good at what I do, and","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to do this,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go back to work tomorrow, and that I'm not looking forward","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and I'm thinking about the fact that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and that I'm not going to be able to","thinking about the fact that I've been recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be playing back the record","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I've been thinking ","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am being recorded. It has been thinki","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things that I've been th","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recordin","thinking about the fact that I am a student. I am a student of psychology. I am a student at the University","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the store, and that I have to get some milk, and that","thinking about the fact that I'm in the middle of a recording session, and I'm thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am doing this experiment, and that I am thinking about the experiment, and that","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the recording, thinking about the recording, thinking","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and the things that I've been thinking about are the "],["thinking about the way that I'm going to get out of this situation. I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm going to have to be thinking about what","thinking about the fact that I'm in the middle of a recording session. 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I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about t","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the problem of the day, the problem of the day. I've been thinking about the problem of the day","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. It has been thinking about the fact that it is think","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. And then I've been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my appointment, and I am wondering what I am going to","thinking about the recording. 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It's been thinking about the things that I have bee","thinking about the way in which I have been thinking about the way in which I have been thinking about the way","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment, and I'm going to have to go back","thinking about the past, the present, and the future. I've been thinking about the past because I've been refl","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about the fact that I"],["thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and I'm wondering what I'm going to say","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And it's been thinking about the fact that it's think","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm going to have to hurry up and","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the way I'm going to do this experiment. 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I've been thi","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about my thoughts, and that I ","thinking about the fact that I am a human being, and that I am going to die, and that I have to","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of how to solve this problem. It's a bit like a rabbit","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my appointment. I have been thinking about what I am go","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and I've been thinking about the things that I'm thin","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the fact that I am a participant in this study. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking"],["thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the dentist tomorrow, and that I'm not looking forward","thinking about the way I've been feeling lately, and I've been thinking about the things that I've been doing ","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am thin","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and then it has been thinking about the things that","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have to get it done. I have","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts. 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I have a lot of things to do, and","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this recording. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind, and that my mind is thinking about the fact that it ","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I've been thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking about wh","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recordin","thinking about the problem of how to get to the top of the mountain. I've been thinking about the best route t","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to this tape, and that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about,","thinking about the past, about the future, about the present, about the past, about the future, about the pres","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind is thinking about the fact that I am th","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the problem of the square root of two, and the fact that it is irrational, and the proof that i","thinking about the fact that I am a human being, and that I am in a room, and that I have a","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this study. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about this st","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. My mind has been thinking about the fact that it is ","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and that I have to get it done. I","thinking about the problem of the day, and how to solve it, and how to get to the solution, and how","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","doing a lot of thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the thing","thinking about the way in which I have been thinking about the way in which I have been thinking about the way","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am being asked to think about the rec","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about are ","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm going to have to get up early"],["thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the bathroom. I'm thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking about it","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. And I have been thinking about the fact that ","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my min","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about how I can get","thinking about the fact that I am going to be in a car accident, and that I am going to die. I","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my own thoughts. It's a bit like a thought experiment, a bit like","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of things to do, and I'm not sure how to prioritize them.","thinking about the problem of how to get to the airport, and then it has been thinking about the problem of ho","thinking about the fact that I am a little bit tired. I am thinking about the fact that I have been working a","thinking about the problem of the square root of 2. I've been thinking about the square root of 2,","thinking about the recording, and the fact that I'm going to be asked to describe what I was thinking about at","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to a recording of my own voice, and that I'm not sure if it","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. I have been thinking about the fact that I ha","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to work tomorrow and that I'm not looking forward to it","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how to get started.","thinking about the things I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things I've been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. And I have been thinking about the things that I ha","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my own thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm being asked to think about what I'm think","thinking about the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and I have to get up early in the morning,","thinking about the fact that I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get a good night's sleep tonight","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something, and I'm not sure what it is. I","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I need to","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I've been thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the problem of the mind, and how to solve it. It's a difficult problem, and I'm not","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about what I am going to say next. I have been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. And that's been going on for the last ten mom","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the bathroom soon, and I'm thinking about what I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm going to have to do it again,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and that I've got to get to work on"],["thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the way that I can use my mind to think about the way that I can use my mind to think about","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and I've been thinking about the things that I'm thin","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I have been thinking about the fact that I have to","thinking about the way I've been feeling, and how I've been thinking about the way I've been feeling. And","thinking about the problem of the train. I have been trying to figure out how to solve it. I have been thinkin","thinking about the recording. It's been thinking about the fact that I'm listening to it and that I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I've been thinking about the fact that I've been","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm going to be listening to a recording ","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the recording, and about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording. And I'm thinking about","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm wondering if I should be recording this.","thinking about the fact that I am going to have to do a think-aloud study. I am going to have to","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm going to have to hurry. I","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abo","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I have been think","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my own thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm going to have to get it done","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to this tape. I'm thinking about the tape. I'm thinking about the","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the future. I'm thinking about what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm thinking about what I'm","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about in the last ten moments, and then it has been thinki","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And then I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. And I have been thinking about the things that I ha","thinking about the fact that I'm not thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact tha","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of the problem of how to solve the problem of how to so","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking"],["thinking about the fact that I am about to be interrupted, and that I am going to have to stop talking. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something. I'm going to have to do something about the","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to have to hurry. I'm","thinking about the problem of the day, and how to solve it. I've been thinking about the different approaches ","thinking about the recording, and about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording. I've been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I am a woman, and that I am not a man. I am not a man,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something about the fact that my mind has been thinking a","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my next appointment, and I'm going to have to hurry","thinking about the way I have been thinking about the way my mind has been thinking about the way I have been ","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the things I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things I have been thinki","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm going","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of the mind and the body, and how they are related, and how the mind can be affecte","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. It's a bit of a loop, isn't it?","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of the two trains. I was thinking about the distance between the two trains and how","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the fact that I am listening to a tape recorder, and that I am thinking about what I am thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I've been thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the fact that I am a very good person, and that I am very good at what I do, and","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to do this,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to work tomorrow, and I'm going to be late,","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about my thoughts, and that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and that I'm not going to be able to","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts. I am thinking about the fact that I am th","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I've been thinking ","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am being recorded. It has been thinki","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things that I've been th","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about how I can get","thinking about the future. I've been thinking about what I'm going to do tomorrow. I've been thinking about wh","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the store, and that I have to get some milk, and that","thinking about the fact that I am being recorded, and that I am thinking about what I am thinking, and that I","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm trying to think of what my mind has been","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the recording, thinking about the recording, thinking","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b"],["thinking about the way that I'm going to get out of this situation. I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the future, thinking about the past, thinking about what I'm going to do, thinking about what I","thinking about the fact that I'm in the middle of a recording session. I'm thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the problem of how to make a good decision. I've been thinking about the pros and cons of diffe","thinking about the things I've been thinking about, and then I've been thinking about the things I've been thi","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about what my mind has been thinking about the last ten moments. And","thinking about the way I'm going to get out of this recording. I'm going to have to stop it and I","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind. I've been thinking about the fact that I've bee","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recordin","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am listening to the recording, and I ","thinking about the problem of the train. I was thinking about the train and the problem of the train, and I wa","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I've been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and that I have to get up early, and that","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm going to be playing back the recordin","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm going to be thinking about it, and","thinking about the fact that I am not going to be able to get to the airport on time. I am going to","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to this tape. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about t","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that's what I've been thinking about, and that","thinking about the problem of the day, the problem of the day. I've been thinking about the problem of the day","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And that's what it's been doing. And then it","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. And then I've been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my appointment, and I am wondering what I am going to","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. It's been thinking about the fact that it's thinking ","thinking about the fact that I am going to have to do a lot of work tomorrow, and I am going to be","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my own thoughts, and that I'm not sure whether I'll","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abo","doing this: 'I'm thinking about this, I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking about this, I'm","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about how I'm going to get","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recording my","thinking about the problem of how to make a good cup of tea. I've been thinking about the best way to boil","thinking about the way in which I have been thinking about the way in which my mind has been thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment, and I'm going to have to go back","thinking about the past, the present, and the future. I've been thinking about the past because I've been refl","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about the fact that I"],["thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and I'm wondering what I'm going to say","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And it's been thinking about the fact that it's think","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm going to have to hurry up and","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the way I'm going to do this experiment. I'm going to do it in the same way I did","thinking about the recording, and the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and the fact that I'm thinki","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the recording. It's been thinking about the tape. It's been thinking about what I'm going to sa","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. 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I have a lot of things to do, and","thinking about the way I've been feeling, and how I've been feeling about the way I've been thinking about the","thinking about the things I have been thinking about, and the things I have been thinking about are the things","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that my mind is thinking about the fact that I'm thin","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and the things that I've been thinking about have bee","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how I'm going to","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about are ","thinking about the fact that I'm not going to be able to get to the airport on time, and I'm going","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to have to run. I'm","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my min","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind for the last ten moments. And I have been thin","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of how to solve this problem. And then it has been thin","thinking about the problem of how to get to the airport. I have been thinking about the best route to take, an","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I'm going to be asked to listen to the ","thinking about the problem of the day. I've been thinking about how to solve the problem. I've been thinking a","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about my thoughts, and that I ","thinking about the fact that I am a human being, and that I am going to die, and that I have to","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of how to solve this problem. It's a bit like a rabbit","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am thin","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and I've been thinking about the things that I'm thin","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the fact that I am a participant in this study. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking"],["thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bank to get some money. I have to get some money to","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the bank and get some money. I'm going to","thinking about the way I've been feeling, and the way I feel about the way I've been feeling. And I","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am thin","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom, and I have to get dressed, and I have to","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and then it's been thinking about the things that I'v","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts. I'm going to be thinking about the fact t","thinking about the fact that I'm a bit tired, and that I've been thinking about how I'm going to get","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the dentist tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and then I have been thinking about the things that","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm think","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking about it","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I've been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts. 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I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abo","doing the following: ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท. The participant was then asked to compare the two","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm listening to myself. I've been thinki","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to be late for work because I","thinking about the fact that I'm in a recording booth, and that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. I"],["thinking about the fact that I am a bit worried about the way I am going to get to the airport, and I","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. 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I was thinking about the train, and I","thinking about the fact that I'm doing a think-aloud study, and that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind, and that I've been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how to get it done","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things I've been thinking about, and the things I've been thinking about have been thinking","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t","thinking about the problem of the day, the problem of the week, the problem of the month, the problem of the","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. 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I have been thinking about the fact that I am going to be playing back the recor","thinking about the recording. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm being asked to think about what my mind is ","thinking about the way that I can improve my life. I've been thinking about how I can make my life better,","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about are ","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm going to have to get up early"],["thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the bathroom. 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I am thinking about the fact that I have been working a","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. And I have been thinking about the things that I ha","thinking about the recording, and the fact that I'm going to be asked to describe what I was thinking about at","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to a recording of my own voice, and that I'm not sure if it","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind being recorded, and that I have been thinking ","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to work tomorrow and that I'm not looking forward to it","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how I'm going to","thinking about the things I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things I've been thinking abo","thinking about the recording of my mind. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the recordi","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm being asked to think about what I'm think","thinking about the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and I have to get up early in the morning,","thinking about the fact that I'm not going to be able to get the job because I'm not good enough. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something, and I'm not sure what it is. I","thinking about the things that I'm thinking about right now. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abo","thinking about the past, the present, and the future. I have been thinking about the past because I have been ","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I've been thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the problem of the mind, and how to solve it. It's a difficult problem, and I'm not","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about m","thinking about the things I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things I have been thinki","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. And I have been thinking about the things that I ha","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the bathroom soon, and I'm thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be playing them back to myself,","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking"],["thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about what I was thinking about, and what I was thinking ab","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my appointment. I am thinking about how I am going to","thinking about the way that I can use my mind to think about the way that I can use my mind to think about","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about in the last ten moments. I have been thinking about ","thinking about the fact that I am recording my own thoughts. And I am thinking about the fact that I am thinki","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I have been thinking about the fact that I have to","thinking about the way I've been feeling, and how I've been thinking about the way I've been feeling. And","thinking about the problem of the train. I have been trying to figure out how to solve it. I have been thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm thinking about my mind. I'm thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the past and the future. I've been thinking about the future of the world, and the past of the","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording. It h","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the recording, and about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording. And I'm thinking about","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm wondering if I'm going to be able","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. And I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking ","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I'","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abo","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking about","doing this: ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท. I'm not sure if I'm right, but","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm going to have to get it done","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to this tape. I'm thinking about the tape and I'm thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the future. I'm thinking about what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm thinking about what I'm","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about in the last ten moments, and that is what I have bee","thinking about the problem of the missing number. I have been trying to figure out what number should go in th","thinking about the things I have to do today. I have to go to the bank, and I have to go to","thinking about the fact that I'm not thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact tha","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of the problem of how to solve the problem of how to so","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. I'm going to be thinking about what I'm"],["thinking about the fact that I am about to be interrupted, and that I am going to have to stop talking. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something. I'm going to have to do something about the","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of the day, and how to solve it. I've been thinking about the different approaches ","thinking about the recording, and about the recording of my mind, and about the recording of the recording of ","thinking about the fact that I am a participant in a study of spontaneous thought. I am thinking about the fac","thinking about the past, the future, and the present. It has been thinking about the present, the past, and","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And that my mind has been thinking about the fact tha","thinking about the thought that I'm thinking about now. And it's thinking about the thought that it's thinking","thinking about the recording, and thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and thinking","thinking about the problem of how to get to the airport. I've been thinking about the best route to take, and","thinking about the things I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things I have been thinki","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my own thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of the mind and the body, and how they are related, and how they interact. And I","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. It's a bit of a loop, isn't it?","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of the two trains. I was thinking about the distance between the two trains and how","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my appointment, and I'm wondering how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I've been thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the fact that I am a very good person, and that I am very good at what I do, and","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go back to work tomorrow, and that I've got to get","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and I'm thinking about the fact that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and that I'm not going to be able to","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I've been thinking ","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things that I've been th","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about how I can get","thinking about the fact that I am a human being, that I have a body, that I am alive, that I","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the store, and that I have to get some milk, and that","thinking about the fact that I am in the process of thinking about what my mind has been doing over the last t","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. And then it has been thinking about the things that"],["thinking about the way that I'm going to get out of this situation. I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm going to have to be thinking about what","thinking about the fact that I'm in the middle of a recording, and that I'm thinking about the recording, and","thinking about the problem of how to get from here to there, and how to get there to here. It's a","thinking about the things I've been thinking about, and then I've been thinking about the things I've been thi","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording. I ha","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about what my mind has been thinking about the last ten moments. And","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have a lot of things to do,","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thin","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recordin","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am listening to the recording, and I ","thinking about the things I've been thinking about, and I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm","thinking about the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and that I have to get ready for it, and","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm being recorded and I'm wondering if I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my own thoughts, and I'm thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I'm not going to be able to get to the airport on time, and that I'm","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to this tape. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about t","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that's what I've been thinking about, and that","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and t","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. It's a bit like a loop, isn't it?","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. And then I've been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am going to be late for my appointment, and I am going to have to rush to","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the fact that I am going to have to do a lot of work tomorrow, and I am going to be","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my own thoughts, and that I am not sure whether I will","thinking about the way that I'm going to make this recording. I've been thinking about the way that I'm going","doing this: ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท. This is what my mind has been doing over the","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about how I'm going to get","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recording my","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It's been thinking about the things that I have bee","thinking about the fact that I'm in a recording studio, and that I'm about to be asked to say what my","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about, a","thinking about the past, thinking about the future, thinking about how I can improve my life, thinking about m","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about the fact that I"],["thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and I'm wondering what I'm going to say","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And it's been thinking about the fact that it's think","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm going to have to hurry up and","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the way I'm going to do this experiment. I'm going to try and think about what I'm going","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I'm listening to the recording. It has ","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the recording. It's been thinking about the recording, and the recording has been thinking abou","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about th","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And that's what I'm thinking about now, that I","thinking about the recording, and the way it works, and the fact that I'm going to be interrupted, and the","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of things to do, and","thinking about the fact that I'm a bit tired, and I'm thinking about the fact that I need to go to","thinking about the things I have been thinking about, and the things I have been thinking about have been thin","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do a lot of work tomorrow, and that I'm not going","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and the things that I've been thinking about have bee","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how I'm going to","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about are ","thinking about the fact that I'm not going to be able to get to the airport on time, and I'm going","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am thin","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my min","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind for the last ten moments. And I have been thin","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of how to solve the problem of how to solve the problem","thinking about the recording. It's been thinking about the recording and the fact that I'm listening to it. It","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I'm going to be asked to listen to the ","thinking about the problem of the day. I've been thinking about how to solve the problem. I've been thinking a","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about my thoughts, and that I ","thinking about the fact that I am a human being, and that I am going to die, and that I have to","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. I'm going to be thinking about what I'm","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am not going to be able to","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and I've been thinking about the things that I'm thin","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the fact that I am a participant in this study. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking"],["thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the dentist tomorrow, and that I'm not looking forward","thinking about the way I've been feeling lately, and I've been thinking about the things that I've been doing ","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am thin","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and then it has been thinking about the things that","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have to get it done. I have","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts. 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I am not a machine","thinking about the way in which the recording is being made. I have been thinking about the fact that I am bei","thinking about the way that I was thinking about the way that I was thinking about the way that I was thinking","thinking about the problem of the mind. It has been thinking about the mind, and the mind has been thinking ab","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to write a report on the way that I think about the way that","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I am not thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact th","thinking about the fact that I have not been able to find a good place to put the tape recorder. I have been","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. It's a bit like a loop. I'm thinking about","thinking about the recording, and about the fact that I'm being asked to think about what my mind has been doi","thinking about the fact that I am sitting here in this room, and I am thinking about the fact that I am thinki","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and that I'm going to have to get up","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm listening to myself. I've been thinki","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my own thoughts. I am thinking about the fact that I h","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to be late for work because I","thinking about the fact that I'm in a recording booth, and that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. And"],["thinking about the fact that I am a bit worried about the way I am going to get to the airport, and I","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. It's been thinking about the fact that it has","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have to get it done, and I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment, and I'm going to have to make a","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind for the last ten moments. And then it's been thi","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. And that my mind has been thinking about the ","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. I have been thinking about the fact that I ha","thinking about the fact that I'm in a recording booth, and that I'm going to be recording myself. And I","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts and how I'm goi","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm being recorded, and I've been thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm doing a think-aloud study, and I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to work tomorrow. I'm going to have to get up","thinking about the problem of how to make the computer work faster, and then it has been thinking about the pr","thinking about the problem of the mind. I was thinking about the nature of consciousness, and how it relates t","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the nature of the mind. It has been thinking about the nature of consciousness. It has been thi","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind, and that I've been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the meaning of life. I've been thinking about the meaning of life, and I've been thinking about","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the past, and also about the future. I have been thinking about the future, and also about the ","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do. I have to finish this project by the end of","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm going to have to rush, and","thinking about the fact that I am not thinking about the fact that my mind is thinking about the fact that I a","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm going to have to do it,","doing this: ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท. And then it has been doing this: ยท ยท","doing a lot of thinking, and it's been thinking about a lot of things. It's been thinking about the things","thinking about the problem of the day. I have been thinking about the problem of the day, and I have been tryi","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. This is a very interesting thought, and I am very cu","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and that I have to get it done. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts, and that I'm going to be thinking about wh","doing this: 'I'm thinking about this, I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking about this, I'm","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am being asked to think about the rec"],["thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of things to do. I","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I am thinking about, and the th","thinking about the problem of the mind. I've been thinking about the nature of the mind, the problem of consci","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking a","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go back to work tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I'm going to be listening to it again. ","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for the meeting. I've been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind. 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I've been thinking about the things I've been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. And I have been thinking about the things that I ha","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the way in which I am thinking about this. I have been thinking about the way in which I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm being asked to think about what I'm think","thinking about the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and I have to get up early in the morning,","thinking about the fact that I'm not going to be able to get the job because I'm not good enough. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something, and I'm not sure what it is. I","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about the fact that I need to","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about, and the things that I have been thinking about have","thinking about the problem of the mind, and how to solve it. It's a difficult problem, and I'm not","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm think","thinking about the things I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things I've been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind. And that's been going on for the last ten mom","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and the things that I'm thinking about now, and the t","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm going to have to do it again,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and that I've got to get to work on"],["thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment. I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the way that I can use my mind to think about the way that I can use my mind to think about","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about, and I've been thinking about the things that I'm thin","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. I have been thinking about the fact that I have to","thinking about the way I've been feeling, and how I've been thinking about the way I've been feeling. And","thinking about the problem of the train. I have been trying to figure out how to solve it. I have been thinkin","thinking about the recording. It's been thinking about the fact that I'm listening to it and that I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the past and the future. I've been thinking about the future of the world, and the past of the","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording. It h","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the recording, and about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and about the fact tha","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts, and that I am thinking about the fact that I am recor","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording this, and I'm wondering if I'm going to be able","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking abou","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. And I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking ","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I am recording my thoughts. I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking about","doing this: ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท. I'm not sure if I'm right, but","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure how I'm going to","doing this: ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท ยท. I have been thinking about this: ยท ยท ยท","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about m","thinking about the future. It has been thinking about what I'm going to do tomorrow. It has been thinking abou","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about in the last ten moments, and that is what I have bee","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And then I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. And I have been thinking about the things that I ha","thinking about the fact that I'm not thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact tha","thinking about the problem of how to solve the problem of the problem of how to solve the problem of how to so","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that I'v","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking"],["thinking about the fact that I am about to be interrupted, and that I am going to have to stop talking. I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something. I'm going to have to do something about the","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to have to hurry. I'm","thinking about the problem of the day, and how to solve it. I've been thinking about the different approaches ","thinking about the recording, and about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording. I've been thinking abo","thinking about the fact that I am a woman, and that I am not a man. I am not a man,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to do something about the fact that my mind has been thinking a","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my next appointment, and I'm going to have to hurry","thinking about the way I have been thinking about the way my mind has been thinking about the way I have been ","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the recording, and ","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. It has been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the things I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things I have been thinki","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm going","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the problem of the mind and the body, and how they are related, and how the mind can be affecte","thinking about the recording, and thinking about the recording of the recording, and thinking about the record","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the recording, and it has been thinking about the rec","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work and I'm thinking about the fact that I've got","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to a recording of my own voice, and that I'm thinking about what I","thinking about the fact that I'm listening to a tape recorder, and that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking a","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I've been thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the fact that I am a very good person, and that I am very good at what I do, and","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to do this,","thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go back to work tomorrow, and that I've got to get","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about my thoughts, and that I'm","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and that I'm not going to be able to","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact t","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind thinking about the fact that I've been thinking ","thinking about the recording. It has been thinking about the fact that I am being recorded. It has been thinki","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things that I've been th","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about how I can manage","thinking about the fact that I am a student. I am a student of psychology. I am a student at the University","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the store, and that I have a lot of things to buy,","thinking about the fact that I'm in the middle of a recording session, and I'm thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I'm doing this experiment, and that I'm trying to think of what my mind has been","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for my appointment, and I'm going to have to run to","thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about the things that I have b","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the way that the recording was being played back to me, and the way that I was being asked to t"],["thinking about the way that I'm going to get out of this situation. I'm thinking about how I'm going to","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my","thinking about the future, thinking about the past, thinking about what I'm going to do, thinking about what I","thinking about the fact that I'm in the middle of a recording session. I'm thinking about the fact that I've","thinking about the problem of how to make a good decision. I've been thinking about the pros and cons of diffe","thinking about the things I've been thinking about, and then I've been thinking about the things I've been thi","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about the fact that","thinking about the recording. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the recording, and I'v","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinkin","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about what my mind has been thinking about the last ten moments. And","thinking about the way I'm going to get out of this recording. I'm going to have to stop it and I","thinking about the fact that I've been thinking about my mind. I've been thinking about the fact that I've bee","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recordin","thinking about the recording. I have been thinking about the fact that I am listening to the recording, and I ","thinking about the thought of the thought of the thought of the thought of the thought of the thought of the t","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm","thinking about the fact that I have been thinking about my mind, and that my mind has been thinking about the ","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that I am thinking","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my own thoughts, and I'm thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. I have been thinking about the fact that I am thinki","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ab","thinking about the things that I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about the things that I've been th","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about my mind. And that is what I am thinking about now. I am","thinking about the fact that I have to go to the bathroom. And then I've been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I am going to be recording my thoughts, and that I am going to be thinking about ","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. It's been thinking about the fact that it's thinking ","thinking about the fact that I am going to have to do a lot of work tomorrow, and I am going to be","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be recording my thoughts. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. And I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking abo","thinking about the problem of how to get to the airport. I have been thinking about the best way to get there,","thinking about the fact that I am thinking about the fact that my mind has been thinking about the fact that I","thinking about the fact that I'm going to be late for work. I'm thinking about how I'm going to get","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my mind, and that I'm thinking about the fact that I'm recording my","thinking about the meaning of life. It has been thinking about the meaning of life, and the meaning of death. ","thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about my mind. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about m","thinking about the fact that I'm recording my thoughts, and that I'm thinking about what my mind has been doin","thinking about the past, the present, and the future. I've been thinking about the past because I've been refl","thinking about the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I have been thinking about the fact that I"]],"fanswers":[["the question of how to improve my memory. I will probably","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next set of marks, which will be the next set","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the paper, which is a 1","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next mark, which is the mark for the next moment","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. I'll probably think about the next","the next task, but I'm not sure. I'm","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few marks on the tape, and I will think","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next mark, and then to the one after that.","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what the next question will be","the next topic on the list, which is 'the future","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next mark on the list. I will probably think about","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the question of how to proceed with the experiment. I will"],["the next topic, which is the next one I'm going","the idea of the next question, which is about the next","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next question, and then to the next question. I","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question I am going to ask myself. I will","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task. I'll probably think about the next thing","the next mark on the tape, which is a '1","the next item on my to-do list, which is to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark. If I am still thinking about the same","the next few moments. I'll probably be thinking about the","the next task, which is to complete the questionnaire. I","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing I'm going to do. I'm going","the next mark on the tape, and then to the next","the next question, which is the one I am about to","the next task. I will probably think about the next task","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the question of what I'm going to do next, and","the next mark in the sequence. But I'm not sure","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of what I should do with the rest of my","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next question, which is, 'How can I get","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next question, and then to the next one, and","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next topic that I have been thinking about, which is","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the question of what I am going to do next, and","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next task, which is to write down the next ten","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I will"],["the next part of the study. I will probably think about","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, and then to the next task after that","the next mark on the list. If I am not thinking","the next few marks on the paper, and I'll try","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a 'ยท' (blank","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question. I will be thinking about the next question","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is 'What is the difference between","the next question, which is what I am going to do","the next topic, which is the next mark on the list","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next mark. I'll be thinking about the next mark","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next mark on the tape, and then to the next","the next part of the task, and then to the end","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will"],["the next few moments. I think I will probably think about","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic in the book","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the question of whether or not I should have a drink.","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next task I have to do, or to the next","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I'll","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next topic that comes to mind, which is probably the","the question of how to improve the recording process, and then","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of what I should do next. I'm not","the question of what I should do next. I will probably","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question, which is, 'How can I make","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question in the test. I'm not sure,","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the idea of the next question. I will probably think about","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that I want to discuss with you, which","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list. I think it will be","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to go","the next question in the test. I will probably be thinking","the idea of the next few moments, and so on,","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, and then to the next question. I","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the paper, and then to the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the idea of the next mark, and then to the idea","the next topic, which is the next thing I want to","the next task I have to do. It's a bit","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next few moments. I'm not sure what will happen","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next mark, which is the mark for the next moment","the next question. I think I'll go back to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next topic in the book I'm reading, which is","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what is the best way to","the next part of the story, which is about the characters","the next few marks on the paper, and then to the","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next mark on the list, which is the one that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of what I should do next. I'm not","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next thing I'm going to do. I'm going","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next topic that I have","the next item on the list, which is to think about","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what I'm going to do"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to get","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next item on the list, which is 'the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next task I have to do, or to the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of what I've just said, and then I","the next topic that I am working on, which is the","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next topic in the book I am reading, or to","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next mark on the tape, which is a blank.","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next thing I need to do, which is to go","the next topic, which is the next one in the list","the question of whether or not I should have a drink.","the next mark. If I'm lucky, it will be","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the idea of the next ten marks, and then to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next question, which is the one I've been thinking","the next part of the story. I think I will be","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next mark. I'm not sure if it will be"],["the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next topic in the book I'm reading, and then","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I will","the next few marks. I will probably think about the next","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic that I am going to discuss, which is","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next task I have to do, or maybe to something","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next mark on the tape, which is a question mark","the next thing that I'm going to do. I'm","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next mark in the sequence, which is the mark that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the paper. But it might also turn","the next question, which is about the next question. Then","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few marks on the tape. I think I will","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next question. I will think about the","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next topic in the book, or to the next question","the next few marks. I don't know what they will","the idea of the next question, and then I will think","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing I'm going to say, and then to","the idea of the next mark in the sequence. I think","the next topic, which is the next mark on the line","the next part of the story, and then to the end","the question of whether I should go to the gym or not","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the next question, which is 'What is the meaning of","the question of what I should have done differently in the past","the next topic in the book I am reading. I am","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next few marks, and then to the next few marks","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the idea of the next question, which is: 'What","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few marks, and then to the next few marks","the next thing that I'm going to do, which is","the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the next question, which is about the next question. And","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next mark on the list, which is 'ยท'","the next topic that I want to discuss, which is the","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next topic, which is the next one in the list","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the list, which is the next thought","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the question of how to improve the quality of the recording.","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next topic on my agenda, which is to review my","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next thing I have to do, which is to go","the next few moments, and so on, and so on"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether or not I should go to the gym","the next mark on the paper. I don't know what","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the idea of the next recording. I will think about what","the next task I have to do, which is to finish","the next topic on my list, which is the next task","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few marks, and then to the next few marks","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the question of the meaning of life. I'm not sure","the question of what I should do next. I might think","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the question of what I should do next, or what I","the next few marks, and then to the next few after","the next few marks, and then to the next few marks","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question. I'll probably think about the next question","the idea of the next mark in the sequence, and then","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the question of how to proceed with the study. I will","the next task I have to do, which is to finish","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next mark. I will be thinking about the next mark","the next few moments. I am not sure what will happen","the next question, which is about the next few moments.","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next mark on the tape, which is a question mark","the next question in the test, or to the next thing","the next few moments. It will be a loop of sorts","the next topic, which is the next topic in the list","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is the one that I have just","the next topic, which is the next topic in the sequence","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next few marks on the paper. I will probably think","the next mark, but it could also turn to the previous","the next thing that I am going to do, or the","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I","the next part of the story. I will probably think about","the next topic I'm going to talk about, which is","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list, which is the mark that","the next question I have to answer, which is: '","the next item on my to-do list, which is to","the topic of the recording. I will probably think about the","the next question, which is, 'What's the point","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next part of the story. I'm not sure if","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next few moments. I'm not sure if I'm"],["the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next part of the task, which is to continue the","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the future, to the next few days, and then to","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the paper, which is a question mark","the next mark, which is a '1' and then","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether I should have a drink, or whether","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next question, which is what I think I should do","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I'll","the next topic that I am thinking about, which is the","the idea of the next few moments, and so on,","the next topic, which is the next topic that I want","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question. I will probably think about the next question","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next topic on my list of things to do, which","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next thing I need to do, or the next thing","the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next part of the story, which is about the character","the next topic, which is the next one on the list","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is 'What is the best way","the next topic, which is the next thing that I'm","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I'm going to talk about, which is","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of what I'm going to have for dinner."],["the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next task that I need to do. I will probably","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next question I'm going to ask, which is:","the next topic in the book I'm reading, or to","the next question. I think I will think about the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a 'ยท' (pause","the next mark on the tape, which is a '1","the next mark. I'm not sure, but I think","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic that I am working on, which is the","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few marks. I'm not sure where it will","the next topic, which is the next mark on the list","the question of how to best use the time I have left","the next question I have to answer, which is the one","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of what I should do next. I'm not","the next question, and then to the next one after that","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the question of how I can use the information I've just","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, which is to think about the next question","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference","the next item on my list, which is to go to","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next question, which is what I will do next.","the next question in the test. I'm not sure if","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to continue the recording. After","the next question, which is 'what is the next question"],["the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next mark on the list, and then to the one","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what I will do next.","the idea of the next question, and then to the answer","the next few moments. I don't know what will happen","the next mark in the sequence. But it might also turn","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question, which is, 'How do I know","the next mark on the tape, which is the next thought","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the question of what I'm going to do next. I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that comes to mind. It might be a","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next mark on the list, and then to the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments. I'm not sure if I'm","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic that I want to talk about, which is","the next few moments. I'm not sure what will happen","the next mark on the recording. I'm not sure if","the next question, which is what I think about the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark in the sequence, and then to the next","the next topic that comes to mind, which is probably the","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next mark on the list, which is 'the next"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, or to the next thing I need to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write down the next ten","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I am going to talk about. I will","the next question. I will probably think about the next question","the next question. I'll think about what I've just","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few marks, and then to the next few marks","the question of whether I should have a drink. I am","the question of whether I should be doing this or that,","the next few moments. It's a bit of a loop","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next task, and then to the next task after that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I have","the next question. I'll probably be thinking about the next","the next mark on the tape. I'm not sure,","the next mark in the sequence, which is a 'ยท","the next question. I will be thinking about the next question","the next topic that I need to address, which is the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next few moments, and then to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that comes to mind, which is the next","the idea of the next mark in the sequence, which is","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next thing that I'm going to do. I'm","the next question, which is what is the best way to","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next question, and then to the idea","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next mark, which is a 1, and then","the future, to what I will do tomorrow, to what","the next mark on the tape, which is a blank."],["the question of how to improve my memory. I will probably","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next topic that I want to discuss, which is the","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next set of questions I have to answer, and then","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the next task I have to do, which is to go","the next mark, but I'm not sure. I'm","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. I'll probably think about the next","the next task, and then I will think about the next","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few marks on the tape, and then to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next few moments. I'll probably think","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what the next question will be","the next topic on the list, which is 'the future","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next few marks. Then, it will probably turn to","the question of what I should have done differently to avoid the","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next thing that I want to do. I'm going"],["the next topic, which is the next one I'm going","the idea of the next question, which is about the next","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the question of how to best use my time, and then","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What's the point","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the paper, and then to the next","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next topic, which is the next one in the list","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will","the next question, which is about the next few moments.","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list, which is 'I'm","the next item on my to-do list, which is to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark. If I am still thinking about the same","the next few moments. I'll probably be thinking about the","the next task, which is to complete the questionnaire. I","the next part of the story, which is about the character","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing I'm going to do. I'm going","the next mark on the tape, and then to the next","the next question, which is the one I am about to","the next task. I will probably think about the next task","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next mark in the sequence. But I'm not sure","the next topic I am going to discuss, which is the","the next question, which is what the next question is.","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next question, which is, 'How can I get","the next topic that comes to mind, which is probably related","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is about the next question. Then","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next set of questions. I'm not sure what those","the next topic that I am thinking about, which is the","the next topic that I have been thinking about, which is","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the topic of the next question. I will then think about","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on. I don't","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of what I am going to do next, and","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next topic that I was thinking about before the recording started","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next mark, which is the next one I've just","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum"],["the next part of the study. I will probably think about","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, and then to the next task after that","the next mark on the tape. If I am not thinking","the next few marks on the tape, and I will try","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a 'ยท' (a","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question. I will be thinking about the next question","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing that I'm going to do, or the","the next question, which is 'What is the difference between","the next question, which is what I am going to do","the next mark on the list, which is the one that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the future. I will be thinking about what I am going","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next mark on the tape, which is a question mark","the idea of the next few moments. I will probably think","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next mark. I will be thinking about the next mark","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next few moments, and then the next few moments,","the idea of the next mark in the sequence. I will","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will"],["the next few moments. I think I will probably think about","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic in the book","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the question of whether or not I am a robot, and","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next question I am going to ask. I am going","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next topic that comes to mind, which is the next","the question of how to improve the recording process, and then","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the question of what I should do next. I will probably","the next part of the experiment, and I will think about","the next question, which is, 'How can I make","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, and then to the next question. It","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the idea of the next question. I will probably think about","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write a paper on the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that I want to discuss, which is the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list. I think it will be","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to go","the next question, which is 'What is the meaning of","the idea of the next few moments, and so on,","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, and then to the next question. I","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the paper, and then to the next","the next task. I will probably think about what I need","the idea of the next mark, and then to the idea","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task I have to do. It's a bit","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next few moments. I'm not sure what will happen","the idea of the recording being over, and then I will","the next mark, which is the mark for the next moment","the next question. I think I'll go back to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next topic in the book I'm reading, which is","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next question, which is what is the best way to","the next part of the story, which is about the characters","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic in the book, and then to the next","the idea of the next question, and then to the answer","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next topic that I have","the next topic, which is the next topic in the list","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what I'm going to do"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to get","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next task I have to do, or to the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of what I've just said, and then I","the next topic that I am interested in, which could be","the future. I will probably think about what I will do","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question in the test, or to the next problem","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the idea of the next question, and then to the answer","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next mark on the tape, and then to the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I am","the next thing I need to do, or something related to","the next topic, which is the next one in the list","the question of whether or not I should have a drink.","the next mark. If I'm not thinking about the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the future, to what I will be doing in the next","the idea of the next ten moments, and then the next","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the question of how to best use my time. I have","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next question, which is the one I've been thinking","the question of whether or not I should be doing this study","the idea of the next few moments, and then it will","the next mark. I'm not sure if it will be"],["the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next topic in the book I'm reading, and then","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I will","the next question, which is: 'How do I get","the next task, which is to write the next paragraph of","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the future, and the future is uncertain. I will probably","the next topic that I am going to discuss, which is","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next topic I am going to discuss, which is the","the next question, which is about the next question. I","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the paper. I will probably think about","the next question, which is about the next question. Then","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few marks on the tape. I think I will","the next few marks on the paper, and then to the","the idea of the next question. I will think about the","the next question I am going to ask, which is about","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few marks. I don't know what they will","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what the next question is.","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next mark on the line","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next few moments, and then to the","the next question, which is 'What is the purpose of","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next topic in the book I am reading. I am","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the idea of the next question, which is: 'What","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next thing I need to do, which is to go","the next few marks, and then to the next few marks","the next mark, which is the mark for the next moment","the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the idea of the next few moments. I will probably think","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark, which is a dot. I'm not","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next topic that I want to discuss, which is the","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the list, which is the next thought","the next mark, and then the one after that, and","the next part of the task, which is to write down","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of what I should do next, and then I","the next mark on the tape, which is a blank.","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next thing I have to do, which is to go","the next few moments, and so on, and so on"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether or not I should go to the movies","the next mark on the paper. I don't know what","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next part of the story, but I'm not sure","the next task I have to do, which is to finish","the next topic on my list, which is the next task","the future. I will think about the future, and I","the next mark, but it may also turn to the mark","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference","the next few marks, and then to the next few marks","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the question of the meaning of life. I'm not sure","the question of what I should do next. I might think","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the idea of the next question, and then to the idea","the next mark on the tape. It will probably turn to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the idea of the next question, or the next task,","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question. I'll probably think about the next question","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the next task I have to do, which is to continue","the question of how to proceed with the study. I will","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next mark. I will be thinking about the next mark","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is about the next few moments.","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next mark on the tape, which is a question mark","the next question in the test, or to the next thing","the next few moments. It will be a loop of sorts","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the future, to what I will do next, to what","the next mark on the list, which is the mark that","the question of what I'm going to do next. I","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I'll","the next mark, but it could also turn to the previous","the next thing that I am going to do, or the","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list, which is the mark representing","the next question, which is, 'How do I know","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the question of what I should do next. I will probably","the next mark on the tape. I don't know if","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next few moments. I'm not sure if I'm"],["the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next part of the task, which is to find the","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the future, to the next few days, and then to","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, which is about the character","the next task, which is to write the next paragraph.","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next question, which is what I think I should do","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I'll","the next topic that I am thinking about, which is the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next topic that I'm","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question. I will probably think about the next question","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next topic I want to discuss, which is the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the future. I will probably think about my plans for the","the next thing I'm going to say, and then to","the idea of the recording being over and me having to stop","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next topic, which is the next one on the list","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next task, or perhaps to a different task, or","the next topic, which is the next thing that I'm","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question. I'm not sure what that question will","the question of how to make the recording more effective. I","the question of what I'm going to have for dinner."],["the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next part of the task, which is to continue the","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the question of how I can make the most of the time","the next topic in the book I'm reading, or to","the next question. I think I will think about the next","the next task I have to do. I'm not sure","the next mark, which is a '0' (pause","the next mark on the tape, which is a '1","the next mark. I'm not sure, but I think","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next topic that I am working on, which is the","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will","the next topic, which is the importance of the study of","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question I have to answer, which is the one","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next question, and then to the next one after that","the next task, or to the next thing I need to","the question of how I can use the information I've just","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, which is to continue the recording. I","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether I should have eaten the chocolate cake earlier","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the topic of the recording. I will think about what I","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next question, which is 'what is the next question"],["the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next mark on the list, and then to the one","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what I will do next.","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments. I don't know what will happen","the next set of questions. I'm not sure what they","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the question of whether or not I should have a drink,","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the importance of the study of","the question of what I'm going to do next. I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that comes to mind. It might be a","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next mark on the list, and then to the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. I'm not sure if I'm","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, the part where the man","the next topic that I want to talk about, which is","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next mark on the list, which is the mark for","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark in the sequence, and then to the next","the idea of what I'm going to do next. I","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write down the next ten","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I am going to talk about. I will","the next question. I will probably think about the next question","the next question. I will think about what I have just","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. It's a bit of a loop","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, and then to the next task after that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I'm","the next question. I'll probably be thinking about the next","the next mark on the paper. I'm not sure,","the next mark in the sequence, which is a '0","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next topic on my list of things to do, or","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next few moments, and then to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic on the agenda, which is the next step","the idea of the next mark, which will be a '","the next topic, which is the next thing that I'm","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of how to improve the quality of my life.","the next question, which is what is the best way to","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next question, and then to the idea","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next mark, which is a 1, indicating that","the future, to what I will do tomorrow, to what","the next part of the story, and then to the next"],["the question of how to improve my memory. I will probably","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the paper, which is a 1","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the future. I'll probably think about what I'm going","the next mark, but I'm not sure. I'm","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. I'll probably think about the next","the next task, and then to the next task after that","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few marks on the tape. I'll probably be","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the idea of the next ten moments, and then to the","the idea of the next question, and then to the answer","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on. It's a","the next question, which is what the next question will be","the next topic on the list, which is 'the importance","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next few marks. Then, it will probably turn to","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next mark in the sequence. I'm not sure if"],["the next topic, which is the next one I'm going","the idea of the next question, which is about the next","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next question, and then to the next question. I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question I am going to ask myself. I will","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next topic in the book, or to a related topic","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next question, which is what I will do next.","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, or perhaps to the next thought that comes","the next mark on the tape, which is a '1","the next item on my to-do list, which is to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is about the future of the company","the next few moments. I will probably be thinking about the","the next task, which is to complete the questionnaire. I","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing I'm going to do. I'm going","the next mark on the tape, and then to the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next task. I will probably think about the next task","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the question of what I should have done differently in the past","the next mark in the sequence. But I'm not sure","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of what I'm going to do with the rest","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next question, which is, 'How can I get","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next question, and then to the next one, and","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that I have been thinking about, which is","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of what I am going to do next, and","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next few marks on the tape, but it will also","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next task, which is to write down the next ten","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of what I have just said, and then to"],["the next part of the study. I will probably think about","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the future, to what I will do next, or what","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next mark on the tape. If I am not thinking","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the future, to what I will do next, to what","the next mark, which is a dot. Then it will","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is 'what is the difference between","the next question, which is what I am going to do","the next topic, which is the next mark on the list","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the future. I will be thinking about the future, and","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that","the idea of the next few moments, and then to the","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next mark. I will be thinking about the next mark","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next part of the task, and then to the end","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the question of how I can improve my memory. I think","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next"],["the next few moments. I think I will probably think about","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic in the book","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next mark, which is a '1' (indic","the next mark. It will probably be a mark that is","the next task, or to the next thought, or to","the next task I have to do, or to the next","the next set of questions, which are about the next set","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next topic I'm going to discuss, which is the","the next question, which is: 'How do I get","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on. It's like","the question of what I should do next. I will probably","the next topic I'm going to talk about, which is","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, and then to the next question. It","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list. I think I will probably","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to go","the next question, which is 'What is the meaning of","the future. I will probably think about my life, what","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether I should be more careful about my diet","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the paper, and then to the next","the future, to what I will do next, and to","the idea of the next mark, and then to the idea","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the idea of the future, and then to the idea of","the next mark, which is the mark for the next moment","the next question. I think I'll go back to the","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is: 'What is the point","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next question, which is what is the next question.","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next mark on the list, which is the next thought","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of what I should do next. I will probably","the idea of the next question, and then to the answer","the next thing I need to do, which is to go","the next mark on the tape, which is a thought about","the question of whether or not I should go to the movies","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next topic, which is the next topic in the list","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of the nature of the mind. I will probably"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to get","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next item on my to-do list, which is to","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next task I have to do, or to something I","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of what I've just said, and then I","the next topic that I want to talk about, which is","the next question I need to answer, which is, '","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next task, which is to think of a way to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next topic in the book I'm reading, or to","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next mark on the list, which is 'the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next thing I need to do, which is to go","the next topic, which is the next one in the list","the next topic I'm going to discuss, which is the","the next mark. If I'm lucky, it will be","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments. I will probably be thinking about the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then the one after that, and","the next question, which is the one I've been thinking","the next part of the experiment, and I will think about","the next question, which is about the relationship between the mind","the next mark. I'm not sure if it will be"],["the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next topic in the book I'm reading, and then","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I will","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next task, which is to write the next paragraph of","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the topic of the recording. I will think about the content","the next topic that I am going to discuss, which is","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next task I have to do, or maybe I'll","the next topic I am going to discuss, which is the","the next question, which is about the next question. I","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next part of the study, which is to think about","the topic of the recording, and I will try to recall","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next mark in the sequence, which is the mark that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the future, to what I am going to do next,","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list. I will probably think about","the next question I am about to ask, which is:","the next topic in the book I'm reading, which is","the next few moments. I don't know what will happen","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing that comes to mind, which is probably going","the idea of the next mark in the sequence. I think","the next topic, which is the next mark on the line","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether I should go to the gym or not","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the next question, which is 'What is the meaning of","the question of what I should have done differently in the past","the next topic in the book I am reading. I am","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of the next mark, and then to the idea","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark, and then the one after that, and","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a '1', indicating that","the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the idea of the next question. I will think about the","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next topic that I want to discuss, which is the","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I have","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the list, which is the next thought","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of what I should do next, and then I","the next mark on the tape, which is a blank.","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the topic of the recording, and then I will think about","the next few moments, and so on, and so on"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether or not I should go to the movies","the next mark on the paper. I don't know if","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the topic of the study, and I will think about how","the idea of the next recording. I will think about what","the next task I have to do, which is to finish","the next topic on the list, which is the next item","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next mark, but it may also turn to the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference","the future, and then to the past, and then to","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the question of the meaning of life. I'm not sure","the question of what I should do next. I might think","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the idea of the next question, and then to the idea","the next mark on the tape. It will probably turn to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of the next question, or the next task,","the next question I am going to ask myself, which is","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the idea of the next mark in the sequence, and then","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next question, which is: 'How do I get","the next task I have to do, which is to finish","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next mark. I'm not sure what that will be","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is about the next few moments.","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next topic that I am going to talk about, which","the next question in the test, or to the next part","the next few moments. I will think about the next few","the next topic, which is the next topic that I have","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next topic, which is the next topic in the list","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next few marks on the paper. I will probably think","the next mark in the sequence, and then to the one","the next mark in the sequence, which is '10","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I'm going to talk about, which is","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list, which is the mark that","the next question I have to answer, and then to the","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next question in the test. I'm not sure,","the next part of the story. I'm not sure if","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the question of what I am going to do next. I","the future, to what I will do next, and what","the next few moments. I'm not sure if I'm"],["the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next part of the task, which is to find the","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the future, to the next few days, and then to","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few marks on the tape, and then to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next task, which is to write the next paragraph.","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next item on my to-do list, which is to","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is what I think I should do","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that I am working on, which is the","the idea of the next few moments, and so on,","the next topic, which is the next topic that I'm","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what the next question will be","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next task I have to do, or maybe to the","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next thing I need to do, or the next thing","the idea of the recording being paused and the participant being asked","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the future, and I will think about what I will do","the next topic, which is the next topic in the sequence","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the question of what I should have done differently in the last","the next topic, which is the next thing that I'm","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question I'm going to ask, and then to","the question of how to make the recording more effective. I","the question of what I'm going to have for dinner."],["the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next part of the task, which is to describe the","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the question of how I can make the most of the time","the next topic in the book I'm reading, which is","the next question. I think I will think about the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a '0' (pause","the next mark on the tape, which is a '1","the next mark. I'll probably think about what I'm","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few marks. I will probably think about the next","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the question of how to best use the time I have left","the next question I have to answer, or the next task","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of what I should do next. I'm not","the next question, and then to the next one after that","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the question of how I can use the information I've just","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, which is to continue the recording. I","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether I should have eaten the chocolate cake earlier","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next question, which is what I will do next.","the next question in the test. I'm not sure if","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next question, which is 'what is the next question"],["the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next topic I'm going","the next mark on the list, and then to the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what I will do next.","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark in the sequence. But I'm not sure","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is, 'How do I know","the next mark on the tape, which is the next thought","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the importance of the study of","the question of what I'm going to do next. I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next one in the sequence","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next mark on the list, and then to the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments. I'm not sure if I'm","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next topic that I want to talk about, which is","the next few moments. I'm not sure what will happen","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark for","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the future, to what I will do next. I will","the idea of what I'm going to do next. I","the next thing I'm going to do. I'm going","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, or to the next thing I need to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write down the next ten","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next task. I will probably think about what I need","the next question. I'll think about what I've just","the next set of questions, which are about the nature of","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments. It's a bit of a loop","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, or to a task I have yet to","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I'm","the next question. I'll probably think about the next question","the next mark on the list. I'm not sure if","the next mark in the sequence, and then to the one","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next topic that I need to address, which is the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next few moments, and then to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that comes to mind, which is the next","the idea of the next mark in the sequence, which is","the next topic, which is the next thing that I'm","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next thing that I'm going to do. I'm","the next question, which is what is the best way to","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next question, and then to the idea","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next mark, which is a 1, indicating that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list, which is the next thought"],["the question of how to improve my memory. I will probably","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next topic that I want to discuss, which is the","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next set of questions I have to answer, and then","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the next task I have to do, which is to go","the next mark, but I'm not sure. I'm","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. I'll probably think about the next","the next task, and then I will think about the next","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few marks on the tape. I'll probably be","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next mark, and then to the one after that.","the idea of the next question, and then to the answer","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what the next question will be","the next topic on the list, which is 'the importance","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next mark in the sequence. I'm not sure if"],["the next topic, which is the next one I'm going","the idea of the next question, which is about the next","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the question of how to best use my time, and then","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What's the point","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the paper, and then to the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the topic of the recording, and I will think about what","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I'll","the next question, which is: 'What is the meaning","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the tape, which is a '1","the next item on my to-do list, which is to","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next question, which is about the next question. I","the next few moments. I will probably be thinking about the","the next task, which is to complete the questionnaire. I","the next part of the story, which is about the character","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing I'm going to do. I'm going","the next mark on the tape, and then to the next","the next question, which is the one I am about to","the next task. I will probably think about the next task","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next mark in the sequence. But I'm not sure","the next topic I am going to discuss, which is the","the next question, which is what the next question is.","the next thing I'm going to do, which is to","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next question, which is, 'How can I get","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the question of whether I should be doing something else, or","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that I have been thinking about, which is","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the topic of the next question. I will then think about","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of what I am going to do next, and","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next mark, which is a 'c'. I'm","the next task, which is to write down the next ten","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum"],["the next part of the study. I will probably think about","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is, 'What is the meaning","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, and then to the next task after that","the next mark on the tape. If I am not thinking","the next few marks on the tape, and I will try","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a 'ยท' (a","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next question in the test, or to the next thing","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the next question, which is 'what is the next question","the next question, which is what I am going to do","the next mark on the list, which is the one that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the future. I will be thinking about what I am going","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that","the next few moments, and so on, until I reach","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next, and so","the next mark. I will be thinking about the next mark","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the tape, and then to the next","the next part of the task, and then to the end","the idea of the next question, and then to the next","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the question of how I can improve my memory. I think","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will"],["the next few moments. I think I will probably think about","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic in the book","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next mark, and then to the one after that,","the question of whether or not I am a robot, and","the next mark, and then to the mark after that,","the next question I am going to ask. I am going","the next few moments. It's a bit like a loop","the next topic, which is the next mark on the paper","the next topic that comes to mind, which is the next","the question of how to improve the recording process, and then","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the most","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic I'm going to talk about, which is","the next question, which is, 'How can I make","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question in the test. I'm not sure,","the next mark in the sequence, but it might also wander","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next task, or to the next thing I need to","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, which is a dot. Then it will","the next few marks, and then to the next few,","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list. I think it will be","the next few moments. I'm not sure where it will"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to go","the next question, which is 'What is the meaning of","the idea of the next few moments, and so on,","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, and then to the next question. I","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the paper, and then to the next","the next task. I will probably think about what I need","the idea of the next mark, and then to the idea","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task I have to do. It's a bit","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next few moments. I'm not sure what will happen","the idea of the recording being over, and then I will","the next mark, which is the mark for the next moment","the next question. I think I'll go back to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next topic of the day, which is the weather.","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next few marks on the paper, and then to the","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next item on my to-do list. I have a","the idea of the next question, and then to the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next few moments. I'll probably think about what I","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what I'm going to do"],["the next thing I have to do, which is to get","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next task I have to do, or to the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of what I've just said, and then I","the next topic that I am interested in, which could be","the future. I will probably think about what I will do","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next question in the test, or to the next problem","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the idea of the next question, and then to the answer","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next mark on the tape, which is a thought about","the next question, and then I'll think about the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing I need to do, which is to go","the next topic, which is the next one in the list","the question of whether or not I should have a drink.","the next mark. If I'm lucky, it will be","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the future, to what I will be doing in the next","the idea of the next ten moments, and then the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of how to best use my time. I have","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark, and then to the next mark after that","the next question, which is the one I've been thinking","the next topic in the book I'm reading, which is","the next few moments, and so on. It's a","the next mark. I'm not sure if it will be"],["the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next topic in the book I'm reading, and then","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I will","the next question, which is: 'How do I get","the next task, which is to write the next paragraph of","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the future, and the future is uncertain. I will probably","the next topic that I am going to discuss, which is","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next topic I am going to discuss, which is the","the next question, which is about the next question. I","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next part of the study, which is to think about","the next few moments, and so on. I'm not","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next mark in the sequence, which is the mark that","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the paper. But it might also turn","the next question, which is about the next question. Then","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next question. I will think about the","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next part of the story, or to the next question","the next few moments. I don't know what will happen","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next thing I'm going to say, and then to","the idea of the next mark in the sequence. I think","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next part of the story, and then to the end","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I am going to talk about, which is","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next few moments, and then to the","the next question, which is 'What is the purpose of","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next topic in the book I am reading. I am","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the idea of the next question, which is: 'What","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next thing I need to do, which is to go","the next few moments, and then the next few moments after","the next thing that I'm going to do, which is","the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the idea of the next question. I will think about the","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next topic that I want to discuss, which is the","the next few moments, and so on, until the recording","the next topic, which is the next one in the list","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the list, which is the next thought","the next mark on the tape, which is a blank.","the next part of the task, which is to write down","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next mark on the paper, which is a blank.","the next question in the test. I'm not sure if","the next question. I'm not sure what it will be","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the topic of the recording, and I will think about the","the next few moments, and so on, and so on"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether or not I should go to the movies","the next mark on the paper. I don't know what","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next part of the story, but I'm not sure","the next task I have to do, which is to finish","the next topic on my list, which is the next task","the future. I will think about the future, and I","the next mark, but it may also turn to the mark","the next question, which is, 'What's the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question. I will probably think about the next question","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the question of the meaning of life. I'm not sure","the question of what I should do next. I might think","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the idea of the next question, and then to the idea","the next mark on the tape. It will probably turn to","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the idea of the next question, or the next task,","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next question. I'll probably think about the next question","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next part of the story, and then to the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments"],["the next mark on the list, which is the one I","the next task I have to do, which is to continue","the question of how to proceed with the study. I will","the next task I have to do, which is to write","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next mark. I will be thinking about the next mark","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is about the next few moments.","the next mark on the tape, and then to the one","the next mark on the tape, which is a question mark","the next question in the test, or to the next thing","the next few moments. It will be a loop of sorts","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the future, to what I will do next, to what","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next topic, which is the next topic in the sequence","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I'll","the next mark, but it could also turn to the previous","the next thing that I am going to do, or the","the next few moments. I'm not sure, but I","the next part of the story. I'm not sure if","the next topic I'm going to talk about, which is","the next question, which is, 'What is the best","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the list, which is the mark for","the next question I have to answer, or to the next","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the question of whether I should have a drink or not.","the next mark on the tape. I don't know if","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task I have to do, or perhaps to something","the next few moments. I'm not sure if it will"],["the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the next part of the task, which is to find the","the next question, and then to the next question, and","the future, to the next few days, and then to","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next part of the story, which is about the character","the next task, which is to write the next paragraph.","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next question in the test, and then to the next","the next question, which is what I think I should do","the next few moments. I will probably think about what I","the next few moments. I'm not sure what I'll","the next topic that I am working on, which is the","the idea of the next experiment, and then to the idea","the next topic, which is the next topic that I'm","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question. I will probably think about the next question","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next topic on my list of things to do, which","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next thing I'm going to say, and then to","the idea of the next question, and then I will think","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next part of the story, which is the part where","the next topic, which is the next one on the list","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next question, which is 'What is the point of","the next topic, which is the next thing that I'm","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic in the book, which is about the history","the question of how to make the recording more effective. I","the question of what I'm going to have for dinner."],["the next question, which is, 'What is the purpose","the next part of the story, or to the next part","the next question. I'm not sure what that will be","the next part of the task, which is to continue the","the next question, which is: 'What is the best","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next task, which is to think about the next task","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the question of how I can make the most of the time","the next topic in the book I'm reading, or to","the next question. I think I will think about the next","the next task I have to do. I'm not sure","the next mark, which is a '0' (pause","the next mark on the tape, which is a '1","the next mark. I'm not sure, but I think","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic that I am interested in, which is probably","the next few moments. I will probably think about the next","the next few moments, and so on, until it reaches","the next few marks. I will probably think about the next","the future, to what I will do next, to what","the question of how to best use the time I have left","the next question I have to answer, or the next task","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the question of what I should do next. I will probably","the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next question, and then to the next question. And","the question of how I can use the information I've just","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next task, which is to continue the recording. I","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the question of whether I should have eaten the chocolate cake earlier","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the topic of the recording. I will think about what I","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next question, which is 'what is the next question"],["the next question, and then to the next question after that","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the next mark on the list, and then to the one","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next question, which is what I will do next.","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next few moments. I don't know what will happen","the next set of questions. I'm not sure what they","the next topic, which is the next thing I'm going","the question of whether or not I should have a drink,","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next question, which is: 'What is the difference","the next question, which is, 'What is the next","the next topic in the book. I'm reading a book","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic, which is the importance of the study of","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to complete the study. After","the next topic that comes to mind, which is probably related","the next question, which is the next one in the list","the next mark, which is a question mark. I'm","the next question, which is what I should do next.","the next mark on the list, which is 'I am","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the topic of the recording, and I will think about how","the next few moments, and so on, and so on","the next task. I will probably think about how to approach","the next topic that I want to talk about, which is","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next mark on the list, which is the mark for","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next mark in the sequence, and then to the mark","the idea of what I'm going to do next. I","the next few moments. It will probably turn to the next","the next question, which is what I'm going to do","the next question, which is, 'What is the difference"],["the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next task, which is to write down the next ten","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic I am going to talk about. I will","the next question. I will probably think about the next question","the next question. I will think about what I have just","the next mark, and then to the next, and so","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next few moments, and so on, in a loop","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next few moments. It's a bit of a loop","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the future. I will think about what I will do tomorrow","the next few moments, and so on, ad infinitum","the next topic, which is the next topic that I have","the next question. I'll probably think about the next question","the next mark on the list. I'm not sure,","the next mark in the sequence, and then to the one","the next question, which is: 'What is the purpose","the question of how to get to the next stop. I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the idea of the next few moments, and then to the","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next topic that comes to mind, which is the next","the idea of the next mark in the sequence, which is","the next topic, which is the next thing that I'm","the next topic, which is the next topic that I have","the next task, which is to write a report on the","the next question, which is: 'What is the next","the next question, which is what is the best way to","the idea of the next few moments. I'll probably think","the question of whether I should have had a glass of wine","the idea of the next question, and then to the idea","the next part of the story. I'm not sure what","the next mark, but I can't be sure. I","the next few moments, and then to the next few moments","the next mark on the tape, which is the mark that"]]}