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The length of grass in his mouth twitched and a melancholy fell over him. "Here, yes. There were only a few who lost their lives in the Cathedral yonder. But this is not the only house of worship to have fallen to darkness. The Church in their holier-than-thou attitudes are hiding the facts. The truth will be known so... |
Seeing the way I had fallen silent he raised a hand and ticked off the cities on his fingers as he named them. "Rihad, Markarth, Dunlain, Camlorn and Bravil. Each brought to ruin by unknown means but each showing clear signs of Umaril’s influence. There may be more as the Church is going to great lengths to keep this ... |
"For what purpose?" |
His laugh was bitter. "Purpose? They are afraid of what they cannot control and what they cannot control will eventually destroy them in time. They are afraid of the truth, afraid of the implications that Umaril has returned and afraid that I am right; that without the relics and someone worthy to wield them he cannot... |
I caught his expression and caught my laugh before it escaped my throat. "I hope you aren’t waiting on me and Viconia to take up this quest." |
"Why not? The legendary Relics have been sought by mighty warriors throughout the ages? I struggle to think of names as commonly known as Sir Desin and Madame DeVir. Are you not worthy knights?" |
Sitting quietly, I could feel his expression move from my face to the way that I way toying with my signet ring that represented my Knighthood. "Your faith is not my faith, and it certainly isn’t Viconia’s. More importantly we have oaths that we have taken and responsibilities that preclude us from roaming the lands s... |
"Ah. I see. You have a sense of duty, despite having challenged it in the past and you believe that something that has been lost for three millennia is doomed to be lost forever." |
"Three thousand years is a very long time." |
"True..." He replied. "May I ask that if you didn’t have your current duties and responsibilities; whatever they may be... Would you have sought the relics?" |
"And why is that?" |
"I have no need of the gods, and to my knowledge I do not owe them any favours either. It is more so the fact that the things that I have done and the choices I have made have left me far from worthy." |
Unseen to the elderly legionary, my own thoughts were left in turmoil. Even if I wasn’t infected with vampirism and had fed upon a creature of Oblivion I had done far too much during my time to be considered worthy in seeking the most holy of artefacts in Tamriel. He took my dark expression with a simple smile that le... |
"Only the Gods have the right or the ability to truly judge the purity and worth of a man. For most of us our greatest foes are the ones that dwell within. Everyone within the life that they have been granted are destined to commit sins, and we are our worst enemies. But by accepting our downfalls and striving to reme... |
A hand lined with age and heavily scarred from years of swords practice came to rest lightly on my shoulder. "One of the greatest truths that I have come to realise in my life is that the Aedra and the Daedra are much closer than what the church would have you to believe. The Eight and One do not wish for blind obiden... |
Silence fell between us despite the noise of the city all around the tiny pocket of calm in the public garden where we sat. he couldn’t tell my doubts or fears or true thoughts but he didn’t seem to be trying to perceive them either. For a minute or two he sat quietly, massaging his sore knees and chewing on the stran... |
"You’re too young to have retired from the Legion, and I very much doubt that you have suffered the sort of injury to have left you invalid. The fact that you have been Knighted also leads me to believe that you didn’t leave the Legion in the traditional way." |
"Leaving the Legion traditionally usually involves a septim over each eye and a bonfire." I said with grim humour. |
He laughed. "I know that far more than yourself. It’s a unique life, and the older I become the more I seem to miss it. I can’t help but wonder what kind of duty called you from the ranks, but my curiousity is piqued by something else." |
Once again, the cold blue eyes gazed into my own and I supressed a shiver at the strength in them. "When was the last time you prayed?" |
"Trying to make a believer out of me sir?" |
His mouth curled upwards in one corner. "You’d prefer to put your faith into the sword at your hip and your mesmerising companion has a look about her that would put pause to an acolyte of Boethiah. I’ve found that sometimes praying can grant a small measure of peace that you didn’t know that was lacking. There is nev... |
"Wherever next your journey takes you from Anvil," He continued, dropping the remains of the piece of grass to the ground. "Consider stopping at the wayshrines along the roads. It will not add any more time to your journey and it might help you to clear your thoughts with a higher power." |
The smile he had was contagious and I returned one freely. "I’ll consider it." |
"Good. Now, tell me of Morrowind. It has been years since I stepped foot on Vvardenfell." |
It was a couple of hours before Viconia managed to pry herself from the gifted book and come looking for us. The shadows had begun to lengthen noticeably but she found us both still sitting at the bench, laughing and swapping stories like a pair of old comrades. For the first time in months Viconia and I found ourselv... |
After my afternoon reminiscing with Saccicius; the ex-legionary-turned-prophet my own thoughts had been darker than normal, causing me to repeatedly think back on my time within the Legion and all of the friends that I had lost over the years. While it was good to be reminded of my years serving it was still very much ... |
Our duty in gaining the allegiance of the Fighter’s Guild had born fruit and now that it was complete we could return triumphant in more ways than one. After a few more days in Anvil where we awaited our armours to be repaired and went about the process of gaining the necessary supplies for the journey we set out to r... |
It was with my mind turning dark that I had made a surprising decision within our first day of travel as we set on our journey to Bruma. Along the roads throughout Cyrodiil were scattered wayshrines to the Nine. Some were ancient, crumbling and ill-kept, others were prosperous and had been perfectly situated to have t... |
The next few days, each time we stopped near or at one of the wayshrines I would take a few minutes to pray at each. Each time I knelt down, pressing my fists to my chest and lowering my gaze I remembered Saccicius’ advice from our chats. |
"The Eight and One don’t seek blind obedience or fawning supplication," He had said, staring pointedly at me with his cold blue eyes. "Like loving but stern parents they will watch over us to keep us safe from the worst, but they want us to make our own paths. Remember; there is never a guarantee that they will respon... |
On the third day of travel we stopped briefly at a lone wayshrine to Stendarr; the God of Mercy and the "official’ patron of the Imperial Legion. When I knelt before the shrine I did not beg for his mercy or forgiveness. Even if I believed I deserved any I was a vampire and not welcome to it. Instead I promised to liv... |
Viconia seemed content in standing off to the side or leaving me to go about my business. She didn’t question or comment, but instead sat in silence and watched in curiosity. After I completed my prayers I always felt as though I was merely an insect trapped in sap and she was watching me slowly sink deep into its mas... |
"Viconia?" I asked, moving over to the massive form of Acheron and lightly patting his flank as I moved around to his side. "Are you okay?" |
She didn’t seem to hear me, even as I swung myself up into the saddle and took hold of his reins. "Viconia?" |
"Viconia?" My sudden wariness being reflected into Acheron’s considerable bulk as he too tensed under me. I carefully reached out as we drew near, resting my gloved hand lightly on her shoulder. |
At my touch she recoiled away with such speed it was like my hand had been the fangs of a venomous reptile. For a split second I saw the level of utter hatred in her eyes, mixed with an overwhelming fear but these brief emotions evaporated as she looked at me. I knew without any doubt that her fear and anger was not d... |
"Are you alright?" The look of fear in her eyes brought me to instinctively rest my hand on Sunchild’s pommel. |
"I’m fine." She replied, twisting her body slightly and looking at me with a half-smile. "I was just thinking, that’s all." |
Tapping my heels into Acheron’s flanks, I felt the now customary sway as he began to move forward while somehow managing to make his weight unfelt through the ground and cobblestones beneath his hooves. Ultrin moved off as well, and we began moving along side by side with our massive destriers plodding along the road ... |
"In a way." She sighed, eyes moving down to where she was lightly scratching the back of Ultrin’s midnight black head. "I was thinking of God’s and Faith mostly." |
"God’s and faith?" |
"Yes." She looked at me with her enrapturing eyes once more and sending the familiar shiver down my spine as I gazed into them. "You see... Among the Drow we are taught nothing of other gods, and little enough of our own bar Lloth." |
"The Drow have other gods?" I asked simply, ducking under a branch as Acheron decided to move under a towering pine. We were on the very fringes of the Great Forest now, and it wouldn’t be long until the landscape began to close in with vegetation around the imperial highways. |
"They have some, but religion within the Underdark is so different to the surface that I have been struggling to understand it all." |
"How do you mean?" |
She paused, furrowing her brow in concentration as she came up with the words to describe how it was in common. Although my understanding of Drow was improving daily, I still a long way to go before I was fluent. |
"Within the Underdark our gods are physical and are almost like you and me; just infinitely more powerful. There is no prayer outside of rituals and offerings and belief is just so much simpler." |
I smiled as I understood the point she was trying to raise. "You can’t understand how we can believe in something that doesn’t show itself directly, or how we can believe that there really are Gods if no one has actually ever seen them or any evidence that they truly exist." |
"Our Gods are a lot simpler than your own, and we have few in number." She replied, obviously finding some difficulty putting her words into Common. "There are those like Ghaunadau the Abomination, and Vzhaeraun the Murderer who hold some power within Drow cities, but Lloth is strongest by far and forbids even their m... |
"But you have said many times before that you worship Shar." I said, hearing the way that she had to force herself to speak that which she had been taught from birth never to discuss. |
"Nightsinger is mistress of Darkness and Loss. I was born and raised in darkness and I have lost much; my family, my home, my people..." For a moment her hair flowed in the breeze as she shook her head. "My mistress has returned much. I am grateful, and I honour her in darkness and with the deaths of my foes." |
She seemed to shudder for a moment as she recollected some past memories from her life before. For a moment I thought she would go silent as she would whenever she discussed her history. Instead she slowly exhaled and continued. |
"I was but a child and I began my training in the service of Lloth. I was taken away and placed in the care of the Priestesses at onlenggin." |
"Onlenggin?" I asked, the unfamiliar word rolling off my tongue roughly. |
She chuckled at my attempt to copy her language, but continued anyway. "Onlenggin is the altar of Sacrifice, and where a slave screamed in agony. He had been tortured for days and although I was still very young I was granted a Spider Dagger to end his life." |
"This human was an animal to me, as we were all taught that every other race, almost including each other were lesser beings but it still felt wrong somehow. I remember all too well his tears as that ran freely as he spoke in his unfamiliar tongue. While I lived in the Underdark I had never bothered to learn another t... |
A shudder ran through her body, and I found myself reaching out and grasping her hand as she clenched it tight. I could feel her body shaking as she relived the memories, and despite the discomfort of her grip on my hand I continued to listen. |
"He screamed when the blade split his lungs and the matron mothers were pleased when I pulled his beating heart out of his ribcage." |
"How old were you when you were put through this?" I asked, seeing her eyes glisten slightly with the tiniest amount of tears. |
"Our time is different to your own, as we have no sun, nor seasons to allow us to track time. The only measure we have is Narbondel. It is a giant stone pillar in the heart of Menzoberranzan. Every "day’ one of the High Priestesses will cast a bolt of fire within the pillar and as the hours pass the pillar heats and g... |
"So no dates, no calendars, no seasons, no years. No methods of tracking time at all?" |
There was a very uncommitted shrug of the shoulders. "Other than the number of Black Death’s of Narbondel that a female Drow experiences whilst with child there is very little I can do to compare to the surface. It is very aggravating in a way not being able to determine my age in relation to the surface. I could be f... |
"I doubt you’ll outlive me if we don’t meet untimely ends." My mouth felt dry at the prospect and I shuddered. "Vampires are apparently immortal." |
"So despite everything we may be separated through the ravages of time even if we defeat all other foes. Seems almost poetic." Silence fell between us as she took several long breaths to control her breathing "I cannot help but think of Lloth. She is cruel, and not known for forgiveness. Despite the distance, and the ... |
I gritted my teeth, and felt the beast within me shift noticeably at my displeasure. "If she does come I will be ready." |
Viconia glanced at me with a look filled with sorrow and pity, despite the determination within my words. "It will mean nothing. Lloth’s reach is far and I fear that there is no escaping it." |
"What makes you say that?" She saw the grimace I made as I suppressed the last vestiges of the beast into my subconscious. |
"It is because I have seen her, I have felt the lash, and she will let me think that I am safe or free. Then, and only then she will come for me." Viconia looked pointedly at the ground in front of Ultrin, her face transforming into an expressionless mask that I knew all too well. "My dreams of late have been of Valas... |
Our moods seemed to be mutually dark and the further we travelled north the more the temperatures seemed to drop to match. It wouldn’t be long until we reach areas where the winter snows had fallen and while I had full faith in my own abilities of surviving within the wilderness I was still teaching Viconia as much as... |
Over the following days I prayed at further shrines. At the Shrine of Zenithar; the God of Work and Commerce, I thanked the men and mer who had crafted our armours and weaponry for their skill and dedication. To the Goddess of Beauty; Dibella, I promised her that I would hunt down those responsible for the desecration... |
It was at the shrine to Akatosh; Dragon Lord of all the Gods and master of time that I found myself surprised when Viconia joined me herself. With my unnatural hearing it took willpower not to be able to listen to her words as she awkwardly kneeled before the altar, eyes closed and head resting lightly against the fad... |
"He is the patron of your gods, and in the Underdark there is only one other god that Lloth will allow the merest of mentions. Lloth may claim many things and in Drow society it is the dragons are the masters of creation. I have read and heard stories of how dragons used to exist on the surface but they haven’t been s... |
I looked at her questioningly. "And so you can believe in Akatosh easier than the other Divines?" |
Her smile was seemingly innocent, but I knew her far better than that. "I believe that Akatosh is indeed a real god, or at sometime within the past he was a flesh and blood being. I don’t mean to blaspheme against your religion, but I believe that many of your Divines began as humans or other mortals who ascended into... |
"And is that why you prayed at his shrine?" |
"I prayed not for me or to acknowledge his existence, but for you." |
"For me?" I asked, puzzled. |
"I believe in Shar, the goddess of the Night and to turn from her faith without a reason such as when I turned from Lloth would be a quicker and surer death than the one I should expect from Lloth. When I prayed to Akatosh just before, I asked him to watch over you and to give you strength to face your inner demons." |
For a moment I didn’t know what to say or do, and instead chose to look into her eyes and give a very timid smile. "Thank you." |
"We have spoken much of our past lives and on almost every topic that we can think of," she continued, her fingers tracing down my face as Acheron and Ultrin moved apart. "but you have never spoke about your demons, or your darker side that makes mine seem pale in comparison. You have a great darkness within you, and ... |
An awkward silence fell over us and although we returned to talking about everything and everything my mind was already trying to plan how I would tell her about how it was being a vampire. We had spoken about almost every topic imaginable over the previous months, and the trip north had been quite pleasant as I conti... |
The next shrine we came across was of Kynareth’s; the Goddess of the Heavens, the Wind and the Elements.. I promised I would venerate nature in all its glory and ensure that I would never take more than what I needed from her blessings. |
It was cold in the north within County Bruma, and the months of snow had settled until the landscape was bleak and a discoloured grey and white. Leafless trees rose into the sky and their roots disappeared into the white snow, appearing as though dead as they awaited the spring thaw to bloom with life once more. The c... |
Unlike the others, this particular shrine to Talos was one of the few that we had come across that was not as well maintained or regularly visited as the others. The reason for this was surprisingly simple as less than an hour’s ride to the north, the towering belltower of Bruma’s cathedral of Talos stood tall framed ... |
It was still well maintained, the inhabitants of the tiny collection of farmsteads and hunters shacks within the area were obviously using the shrine as their place of worship. The marble was polished and kept clear of any weeds or encroaching vegetation and unlike the ground surrounding it, the top of the metre-wide ... |
"The shrine to the Ascended one." Viconia muttered as she walked up beside me. |
"Patron to the Blades, ancestor to Martin and founder of the Third Empire." I replied, reaching up and pulling my mask down from my mouth. The first breath of cold air went straight into my lungs like a mouthful of icicles and I felt my whole body shudder. |
Viconia saw my involuntary shiver against the cold and without saying a word, strode forward and ran a gloved hand over the surface of the altar. |
She didn’t feel the cold as much as what I did, and the times that she did her self-discipline and stoicism ensured that she didn’t show it. The lightless depths of the Underdark had left her accustomed to temperatures that all but the Nords would have found inhospitable. Her home in the inky black would only be warme... |
"Anyone blessed with such a power, or to ascend into the heavens as a god is worthy of respect and reverence." Viconia said as she strode around the altar. "Talos must’ve been a great warrior and leader to be granted the gift of immortality and incomprehensible power." |
"As the legends go," I replied, moving up to her and pulling her close for a handful of moments. "He united the Empire within the Second Era, forging together and conquering the providences in turn until they all fell under the sway of Cyrodiil. He ushered in the Third Era and was then granted the gift of immortality ... |
"A hero, soldier, leader," She whispered, pulling me closer into the embrace as my hands ran down her back. "and now a god. Such power is worthy of worship." |
Our lips pressed together for a moment and I felt the warmth of her body flowing through our connection. Even with the wind and the cold air around us, our mingling heat merged together with the kiss that left me feeling giddy and a rush of warmth flowing through my veins. |
We broke apart after only a few seconds of closeness as the frigid temperatures threatened to freeze our lips together. Even with the months that had passed while we had remained within each other’s company, she still affected me with the same rush of emotions and yearning for her. It was a level of connection that I ... |
"I will pay my respects to Talos." She said simply, turning and moving over to the altar. "Such a being of power is worthy of respect, no matter what faith or gods you believe in." |
She moved with her natural grace to the altar, choosing a spot not as thickly covered in snow and kneeling close to the altar. Although she closed her eyes as I did when I prayed, she was acknowledging the strength and power of a god in the ways of her kind. The Drow only respected power whether it be physical, spirit... |
I too moved towards the shrine’s altar, keeping a respectable distance from Viconia as she bowed her head slightly and whispered her acknowledgement of Talos’ power and ascension into Godhood. My prayer would be more than just simple acknowledgement of his existence and power, but rather making promises to the god con... |
"Dragonborn," I whispered, lowering my head and closing my eyes tight as I rested my forehead against the cold marble altar top. The age-worn marble was smooth and incredibly cold to the touch but I refused to move an inch. "In these dark times since your ascension I ask that you lend your watchful gaze across the lan... |
Pressing my fingers to my lips I quickly pressing them into the carved image of the Imperial Dragon on the side of the hexagonal altar. Since leaving Anvil, I had prayed to a shrine of each and every one of the Nine and although there was no divine glory or release from my curse I felt more at peace with myself than I... |
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