| joke|label
|
| What
|
| Why is it unknown how pterodactyls urinate, especially during flight?|humorous
|
| How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow his fresh prints.|humorous
|
| Remember, you can
|
| Happy try not to jump off a bridge day!|humorous
|
| My dad has a heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.|humorous
|
| Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork. But the bigger, heavier ones are delivered by a crane.|humorous
|
| I wanted to buy an Audi. But I can
|
| What are minorities? Lesser people.|humorous
|
| Did you hear that Donald Trump is technically a plant? Because all of his cells have built a wall.|humorous
|
| What is the king of all school supplies? The Ruler.|humorous
|
| Why did the producers of 007 films use government debt to fund their newest film? Because interest in the Bond is so low.|humorous
|
| Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl? You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.|humorous
|
| Why did the computer squeak? Someone stepped on its mouse.|humorous
|
| There are two types of people: The ones who bang on the wall, And the ones who bang on the wall because I
|
| I feel so bad for the necrophiliac
|
| What
|
| I hear the Mexicans are planning an attack on America. Don
|
| What are the two most common names of Mexican fire-fighter? José and Hose B.|humorous
|
| Recipe idea: rosemary and thyme lamb, without the thyme. I give you,
|
| Roses are red. Cacti are thorny. I just can
|
| These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don
|
| What does a woman say after having 3 orgasms in a row? Yeah, I figured you wouldn
|
| What part of the house got busted for drugs? The attic.|humorous
|
| Manager: So do you think you
|
| An optometrist asks a woman out on a date. I have a couple of ideas: 1: Dinner 2: Movies. 1 or 2? 1.. 2..? 1..... or 2?|humorous
|
| A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender sighs and says,
|
| How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian.|humorous
|
| Scientists have been trying to talk to dolphins for years. One day it just clicked.|humorous
|
| What
|
| Why did the scientist install a knocker on his/her door? He/she wanted to win the no-bell prize.|humorous
|
| I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.|humorous
|
| Why don
|
| I
|
| Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.|humorous
|
| Why don
|
| Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.|humorous
|
| My dog can do magic tricks. It
|
| Why don
|
| I would tell a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn
|
| Why don
|
| I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.|humorous
|
| I
|
| Why couldn
|
| I have a joke about time travel, but you didn
|
| Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.|humorous
|
| I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.|humorous
|
| Why don
|
| I
|
| Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.|humorous
|
| Why don’t we tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.|humorous
|
| What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.|humorous
|
| Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.|humorous
|
| Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.|humorous
|
| Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.|humorous
|
| I have a joke about construction, but I
|
| I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn
|
| I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.|humorous
|
| What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.|humorous
|
| I
|
| Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.|humorous
|
| What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.|humorous
|
| Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.|humorous
|
| Why do we tell actors to
|
| Yesterday, I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him,
|
| How do you organize a space party? You planet.|humorous
|
| Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.|humorous
|
| What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.|humorous
|
| What
|
| I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.|humorous
|
| Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.|humorous
|
| What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!|humorous
|
| Why don
|
| What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.|humorous
|
| What did one wall say to the other wall?
|
| What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.|humorous
|
| Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!|humorous
|
| What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.|humorous
|
| I told my suitcases there will be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.|humorous
|
| Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.|humorous
|
| What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.|humorous
|
| What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.|humorous
|
| I would tell a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.|humorous
|
| What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.|humorous
|
| Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.|humorous
|
| I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.|humorous
|
| What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.|humorous
|
| What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.|humorous |
